#yeah this was meant to be painting practice and im just giving u guys the lineart. lol!!

[manonblaqkbeak]

Lock-down Kisses

i wasnt almost gonna do day 11 but i got inspired late last night.

im also so glad that you guys liked my fic yesterday, it has been a bit of a stressful week for me so it makes me happy when you guys like my fics! it really means a lot so thank u! :)

cw: none. just some usual fluff lol

1.4k words

enjoy!

Aelin was so damned bored. She was sure she'd never been this bored in all her life.

She had to tell herself constantly that she was lucky, that she had a roof over her head, food in the fridge and pantry and that she was healthy and walking around, that she still had her job, no matter how rocky it currently was, she was still lucky.

It still didn't change the fact that being in lock-down rutting sucked.

It had been a month since the hard lock-down started and she had been stuck at home—her beautiful, sturdy home that she was damned privileged to have—somewhere in-between the mood of wanting to do something but not having the energy to actually do it.

She had already vacuumed and put the clean dishes away and the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. She had done a fresh load of laundry and put it outside to dry. With nothing left other than mopping (which she hated because no matter how hard she cleaned the tiles beforehand, there was always little pieces of debris that showed up and annoyed her to no end), she couldn't really think of any other house-chores for her to do to keep her preoccupied.

She mowed yesterday, and had racked up the leaves and grass too, plopping them in the garden bin. She watered the garden and refilled the bird-bath, as well.

There were plenty of books to read and listen to, but Aelin just wasn't in the mood for that, which surprised Rowan when she said that yesterday when she complained for the umpteenth time that she was slowly going insane—Aelin was always in the mood to read, but now...maybe it was because the people in those books were having adventures while she was stuck inside.

Right now, she was lying on the couch, staring at her plain as dust ceiling, wondering if it would break protocol if she could pay her neighbour Feyre to paint something enticing.

It probably would be, but she needed something pretty to stare at if she wasn't reading or watching television.

Again, she was grateful, because she had books to read and television to watch, but Aelin always liked to be doing something, being outside and running errands and working.

She was a teacher at Orynth dance and music studio, and due to the lock-down, she was unable to teach dance, but thankfully, she was still able to conduct piano, guitar and violin lessons over Zoom, even if it wasn't really the same and her laptops speaker made the music sound a little dingy, but she didn't have any lessons this week, but would next week, so at least she had something to look forward to.

To pass the time, she had resorted to snooping, watching people mill about in the street from the safety of her enclosed verandah and telling Rowan of the details that she observed when he had a moment of free time.

Which was practically non-existent, thanks to being a teacher and having to deal with stressed out senior students who constantly needed to be reassured that everything was going to be okay.

Not that Aelin could blame them for their stress, she felt so damned sorry for those kids, hyperventilating because they couldn't concentrate at home because they had to share the office with others and how terrified they were of flunking and just about everything else that caused them stress. But Rowan was there, reassuring them that everything would be okay and that as a team, they would tackle everything one day at a time.

Which was why when Aelin went to give Rowan a fresh cup of coffee earlier she was surprised to see that her husband was not in the study and that the room was empty. His laptop and papers were all set up for another day of virtual learning, but her husband could not be found, and she had gone throughout their entire house looking for him and did not find him. And it wasn't like he was hard to spot, he was over six feet tall, tanned and had silver rutting hair, but he was nowhere.

When she had gone back to the kitchen to add sugar and cream to his coffee that was now hers, she noticed that his joggers were gone by the front door, which made her frown because he hadn't mentioned going for a walk—not like he had to tell her everything she did, but she wouldn't have minded joining him—and came to the decision that maybe he just needed to clear his head before another stressful day was upon him.

At least it was Friday, not that that really meant anything when one was a teacher.

Aelin glanced around her living room, she had rearranged it two Saturdays ago with Rowan's help and maybe wondered if she could re-arrange it again, but decided that would just be ridiculous.

Maybe yoga would be a good idea, she didn't mind it and it at least gave her mind something else to focus about other than viruses and death and all other manners of unpleasantness.

So deciding that yoga was the best thing to prevent her from going to the roof and swapping out the tiles, Aelin got dressed, grabbed her things and went outside.

X X X X X X

Two hours later and Aelin was still outside. However, she gave up on yoga an hour ago, finding the energy to listen to a deliciously smutty audio-book. She was watching the clouds, but her mind was imaging that what was happening between the two lovers was her and Rowan (something that happened often when it came to these stories) and was about one paragraph from either shoving her hand down her pants or calling Rowan and asking him when the hell he was coming home so that they could recreate the scene when the front door opened.

Aelin jumped up and went back inside, barely remembering to turn off the audio-book and have her way with Rowan on the floor when she stopped dead at the sight of him.

Because in his hands hand was a leash, that was attached to a dog. A yellow lab, to be exact. The dog looked to be about six months old and was the cutest thing she'd ever seen.

“Rowan, why do you have a dog?”

“She's ours,” he said, like it was the most normal thing in the world. “I was supposed to pick her up from the shelter over a month ago, but she got sick, so I was told to wait until she recovered. She's okay now, perfectly healthy, so I finally got the call the other day that she was ready to be picked up. She's caught up on all the necessary vaccines, and is well trained. I was meant to be here earlier, but Fleetfoot here wanted to go swimming in a mud puddle, so I had to take her to a dog spa on the other side of town.”

Aelin nodded, her eyes still glued on the pup. Her eyes were a pretty golden-brown colour and while she was young, Aelin could tell that she was smart.

“You got us a puppy?” Aelin managed to ask.

“Yeah. I know you've been wanting one for a long time, and when I saw her pop up on my Facebook wall, I knew she was the one for us. Do you like her?” he asked and Aelin could have sworn that her burly husband sounded shy. Nervous.

“I love her,” Aelin admitted truthfully and finally went over to their dog, who immediately starting sniffing at Aelin's outstretched hand when she crouched down in front of her. And was soon being supplied with kisses, all over her hand, her face and neck. Aelin laughed and Rowan smiled, knowing that he had made the right decision.

Rowan was about to sit down himself when Aelin tugged at his hand, bringing him down on top of her and kissed him with every bit of love she felt for him.

It didn't take long for Fleetfoot to join them, licking at Rowan while she yipped for their attention. They broke apart and spent the rest of the day getting to know the new addition of their family.

Lock-down sucked, but Aelin was lucky indeed to have her husband in her life. And the pure ball of energy that was Fleetfoot.

#rowaelin #rowaelinmonth #my work

[i8jisoo]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader

felix x reader | part six of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff

↬ warnings; pregnancy, slight relation to sex, birth

↬ notes; this took so long lmfao i just had it sitting but i’m finishing up seungmin rnnn 🤓 i’ve been doing requests whew i just have EVERYTHING coming at once

u guys r really surprised 

u two had been in a relationship for four years now so this was inevitable as u two were putting off the pressure of marriage for awhile now

“woah, i’m gonna be a dad!! does this mean u have to call me daddy now?”

0_0

u r s e n s i t i v e

felix first notices this when he gives u a kiss in the morning n ur crying like two seconds after

:((

“why are you crying??!”

“you just leave so early and i miss you!!”

felix skips the day, not rly caring he just wants to cuddle u 🥺

speaking of cuddling u two r so cuddly together now

u guys just cant get enough of each other

ur at practice less often just bc of media and he thinks the house is safer for u

so the boys come over a ton more to the dorm just bc they wanna see u and spend time with u

he is so cute, whenever he sees you he’ll instantly be on his knees to kiss your baby bump and leave u with a light kiss on ur lips

u guys go to ur scan at the beginning of the second trimester

its hush hush and ofc felix has u with the best doctor hes heard of 

his hands are clammy asf, hes smiling and so dazed while he stares at the ultrasound

“look at that!! baby a and baby b!!”

felix is like, 

“oh im gonna pass out”

now he gets these corny ass JOKES like

“wow lix has really GOOD swimmers!!!”

“felix knows his way around the bedroom!!!!!!!!”

poor baby jeongin :( they are POLLUTING HIS MIND

he doesnt but this boy is scared shitless now, two babies?? thats a lot to handle

he likes to shop, a lot. 

for some reason everything is dog themed, puppies on everything and he’ll come home with bags of baby stuff everyday

lix is just so in love with your body

sweaters, t-shirts, hoodies, anything he owns, he 100% wants you to wear it

he might be a little excited at the thought of u in his clothes, it was usual but now u pregnant, he was a little MORE excited

abnormally this guy worships your body 100% 

he loves how easily you can just unravel, to the point of tears and have u begging for him to stop

ok lemme not ill start writing shit type smut anyways chile yes lix loves u A LOT in and out of the bedroom

mmm he’ll always be brainstorming names

aeygo for the babies 🥺

tons of kisses he has plenty to go around

he acquires a new skill called cooking 😣

ur his new favorite taste tester

he’ll read books for them both

tons of research on expecting twins and what to do

“hey, okay.. so i bought a pregnancy pillow, and like, i wanna use it?”

felix has this smirk, holding the huge pillow that is supposed to be a maternity one, but he much prefers himself using it as a regular pillow

he actually goes public with this, knowing that the fans adored u after being his girlfriend for so long nd u soon became a favorite for them

some shit like ‘stays meet your new members’ 😣

this guy has a knack for painting, his newest canvas is your large baby bump, doodling little flowers n hearts or animals on it, sometimes painting characters on it or whatever it may be

u two have this rly cute vlive together which consists of him painting ur baby bump, plenty of fun while he asked stays to tell him what to draw on ur bump :v

“ooh!! a ladybug!!”

he posts the finished project in nice high quality on their official instagram, showing off the many things he had painted

the dreaded bed rest comes into play

u are now nearing seven months, which meant that u should be experiencing labor or maybe labor pains soon

he takes his paternal leave, now indulging in ice-cream and gummy bears with u, rather than working out and drinking nasty smoothies

guess who has that sympathy weight 

(jk he just uses it as an excuse so he can just give up on his diet)

sleep all day

sleep all night

u two are honestly so tired for WHATEVER reason

lix is there to be a cuddle bug, pulling ur back close to his body, ur legs entwined and his hand on top of ur own that was on ur bump

its rly cute just try and picture it for a moment

u guys r trying everything to hurry and get to the end of this seemingly forever pregnancy

he’ll def buy two yoga balls instead of just one for u and he’ll bounce on them with u

who cares ab trying to hurry up y’all are having so much fun regardless of the fact u have to pee every ten minutes

u both forget the thought of it and just go with the flow

making a deal to go with the names for whomever u claimed aka baby a or baby b

i see ur guys timing to be during the summer so its miserable in ur house

its hot n stuffy

u two r just lounging n u both have popsicles, then ur just like

“oh! oh.”

it was a steady gush of fluid between ur legs and that was when the nervousness set in

u two just look at each-other in shock

“oh! we’re having a baby- um.. wow!”

he is abnormally good at keeping calm, helping u keep ur breathing steady and getting everything together 

felix is a pro.

u guys r kinda chilling in the parking lot just quiet and sort of nervous that the next time ur walking out of there you both will have not one, but two babies

“i don’t know if i’m ready yet.”

felix groans, grabbing ur hand

“ur right, ur more than ready. look at us!! parents of two in at least the next twenty-four hours!!” 

his hands r around u in a second to help u up and there to help u walk in

u two honestly decide to play games on ur phone to kill time

felix crawls into ur bed, seeing as how u looked extremely lonely, letting his arms and legs wrap around u n he’s just playing with ur hair

its honestly adorable

u two are really tired for whatever reason, falling asleep like this before u would be consumed in the late nights of being parents

these nurses wake u both up and are just like

“let’s see if we’re ready to meet ur babies!!”

felix is kinda scared but nonetheless he’ll grab ur hand and hold onto it with a smile

10cm woo!

if he wasn’t hyping u up before he is hyping u up right now

ur somewhat laughing and crying while in pain

yall r so weird

felix is there to wipe ur face with the wet cloth, or to give u a sip of water, rly whatever u need he is on it

poor baby just wants to be of help

“here’s baby a! it’s a girl!”

u two have at least a moment with her, taking in her small appearance, felix holding her out for u to see

abruptly cut off by baby b needing to make an appearance

“i don’t wanna do this again.”

“it’s alright, shh. we’re going to have two babies, two perfect ones. we have one little girl, let’s get ready for the next one, yeah? our two babies, you’re doing so good.”

they take away ur little girl while felix does what he already did beforehand

“here’s your second one!! we have a pair of sisters!”

u and felix are so overjoyed at this news, literally sobbing, u two r a mess

both r brought over to u, felix taking in the fact he’s a father of two girls, such small girls

ur both smiley while u kiss them n cuddle them, getting the nurse to take a picture of u two

ur obviously tired, felix emotionally worn out but having the brightest smiles on ur faces while u hold onto ur pair of newborn girls

he’s so proud, he’s the definition of a proud father

lix is holding onto one and he comes over to you, the other one cooing

“that’s it, my three girls.”

©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

#stray kids #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #changbin #seo changbin #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst #skz fluff #skz angst #skz au #bangchan #bangchan x reader #minho #minho x reader #hyunjin #hyunjin x reader #jisung #jisung x reader #stray kids felix #felix x reader #seungmin #seungmin x reader #jeongin x reader #jeongin #i.n x reader #i.n

[lampd-intheface]

vampire LAMP au

okay but like imagine a vampire au with polysanders except virgil is the only human???

roman got bitten by a vampire in italy just for kicks and then he was left to his own devices. he had to suffer through the shift alone with nobody to help him

for a little while, he was ravenous and accidentally killed a lot of people. in the end, tho, he snapped out of it and taught himself how to control his hunger

roman lived through the italian renaissance and moved between italy and spain (which is why he can speak really good spanish/italian) and even settled down a little in england for some time too

when roman settled down in england, he met patton who'd been a vampire for a while now

patton became a vampire becos he was hit with the plague and his mother was desperate to find a cure. this vampire they met ended up helping and then taking patton under his wing

roman and patton eventually find themselves in america (which was still a pretty new country at the time)

logan lived during the industrial era where everyone was just inventing things left and right and it was booming in terms of science and machinery

he was turned becos a vampire thought his genius was too valuable and death shouldn't put a stop to logan who had a lot of potential

the three then settled down in america

roman made some money writing fantasy books under pseudonyms. logan made money through patents or really any kind of intellectual work he could find. patton spent his time at home, just helping out and taking care of roman and logan

they had to move often, of course, becos people would be suspicious if they just stayed in the same place for too long. they couldn't get attached to people either becos getting attached to people meant people who would keep track of them

after all of their years being alive, patton and logan and roman have amassed enough money that they're just chilling and living comfortably

now, it's the modren era and, in this au, all of them either have online classes and/or night classes

virgil takes night classes and online classes because it limits his social interaction with other people and he's much more comfortable interacting with smaller groups of classmates (night classes)/not physically interacting with classmates at all (online classes)

the others because well duh they're vampires

it's not becos they dont like sunlight (they can be exposed to a little but too much gives them rashes). it's just that it's easier to keep a low profile if they interact with less people

logan is really the only one seriously taking classes and not for any other reason than because he loves learning. patton and roman will take classes here and there but only for their hobbies

insert virgil. i haven't thought this one through but logan probably meets him first because they share a class together.

anyway, LAMP have a meet cute or whatever

maybe like virgil is in an art history class and the prof says something wrong abt a certain part of history

logan is about to correct the prof but virgil beats him to it and logan is impressed with how accurate virgil was with his facts because logan lived that era and not a lot of people are so knowledgeable about it

that aside, their friendship takes time

logan has to introduce patton and roman separately and then the three of them have to keep attempting to get closer to virgil slowly and at virgil's pace

eventually, for their own reasons, they fall in love with virgil

logan falls in love with how much he relates to virgil. virgil is so smart and the two of them can talk and have debates and virgil just understands him so well

roman falls in love with how snarky virgil is becos he'll tease virgil and he knows virgil will serve it right back to him. virgil challenges him and its exhilarating and exciting

patton falls in love with how soft virgil is and how much he wants to protect virgil from all the bad things in the world. he loves how virgil has been through so much and yet virgil is still so strong

virgil is unaware of how smitten the three of them are tho and he falls in love with them too. he kind of just... plans to be with whoever asks him out first (if any of them ask him out at all)

because virgil struggles with his anxiety a lot, he can't really work at normal places. there's too many interactions, too many people.

he had thought that he'd eventually get used to it and then he'd be able go get a job but it's taking him a lot of time to get over his anxiety

precious time he can't really afford since he's putting himself through college

which is where his vamp boyfriends friends come in because hello, if they can't pay for their cute human crush's essential college classes, then what's the point of having all that money?

in any case, they find out abt virgil's financial problems and they're like omg... we're the solutions to his problem!!!

roman: i can finally actually slay what ails virgil!!!

logan: you won't be slaying anything--

roman: LET ME HAVE THIS ONE THING

before they establish that sort of relationship though, logan and roman and patton all agree that they want virgil to know the real them first so that virgil can decide whether or not he wants to be associated with them

the last thing they want to do is make virgil feel like he's obligated to stay with them even tho he fears them becos they're paying for his college and housing him and stuff

so, they plan get to know virgil more and then tell virgil they're kind of sort of creatures of the night

definitely easier said than done

when they tell virgil, he's like *phone error sound* ??? before realizing oh my God, they're serious

he then laughs about it a little and the other three are confused but he clarifies that the situation was very ironic

becos like omg, how hilarious is that??? the one goth guy who's super pale and avoids social contact and is practically the stereotypical vampire is actually the only one that's NOT a vampire??? that's irony at its finest

virgil then also assures them that the three of them being vampires doesn't bother him one bit

virgil, the epitome of tumblr humor: bold of you to assume i wouldn't f**k a supernatural being

jokes aside, he does reveal to them that he couldn't care less about what species they were, just that they loved him and he loved them

and damn did virgil love those three idiots

roman: woah there, you might pull a muscle from all the i love you's you're spouting

virgil, sweating up a storm after showing the most emotional vulnerability in his life: sh*t u rite

jokes aside, they do form a sort of weird relationship where the three of them happily provide for virgil because virgil doesnt have the means to do so

it takes virgil a while to really get used to it since he's not used to accepting things from other people without giving back

he struggles for a little while becos he keeps trying to find ways to repay them for what they do for him but there's only so much he can do

eventually they have a conversation abt it and they're like babe honey sweetie no

patton: you give us your love and that's the absolute most important and priceless thing in the world!!!

virgil, known pessimist who cringes away from romantic gestures out of habit: sounds fake but ok

but like eventually they work it out in like a slowly but surely kind of way.

virgil learns to see money the same way the other three do (replaceable and pretty much worthless to vampires who have a large abundance of it) and the other three learn to kind of tone it down on the expensive gifts

virgil: im so glad you guys dont buy me really expensive things now

roman, sweating profusely as he hides the golden apple he had commissioned to be made especially for virgil: oH YEAH OFC HAHAHA

(logan, when roman had suggested getting virgil the golden apple: first of all, no??? in what way is that even romantic--)

omg imagine if virgil does the thing where he coops himself up in his room??? and then someone tries to get him to get out by pulling the blinds open to let in light??? and virgil hisses???

patton, having just let sunlight in, looking absolutely offended: OKAY FIRST OF ALL, you're not a vampire so don't take that tone of hiss with me--

someone is like teasing or bullying virgil abt his aesthetic and virgil is obviously getting uncomfortable, esp when they call him twilight (in reference to the vampire romance novel)

so one of the boys, probably roman, steps up and he's like 'the person you should call twilight is me' and he scares the bullies by flashing his eyes red and showing them his fangs

omg!!! roman doesn't have a reflection so virgil helps him put on make up or smth!!!

maybe virgil in this au is an artist so he paints a picture of all three of them so they know what they look like becos they dont show up on pictures and reflections

patton, gazing down at the picture: this is what true love feels like

logan, also feeling the same way: really? how unpleasant

logan:

logan: give me more

omg also logan having only really kept up with the intellectual side of history so he doesn't know abt memes and like stuff like that so virgil teaches him and he has his Flashcards™

iDK MAN JUST VAMPIRE BOYS BEING SOFT FOR EACH OTHER AND FOR THIS SMALL LITTLE HUMAN THEYVE PULLED UNDER THEIR (bat) WINGS

#sanders sides #logan sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #analogical #prinxiety #moxiety #poly am sanders #polyamsanders #polyam sanders #lamp #alternate universe #lampire au #mine

[zachsreaderinserts]

Taking a Stand

ship: platonic!bbs x male!reader

dialogue prompt: "No! I'm tired of doing what you tell me!"

warnings: abusive relationship, high school au, i poured my heart and soul into this, it felt really nice to write something like this

"Good morning, gamers," I mumbled, walking to our table in the cafeteria. My friends simply said their greetings back or just nodded at me, looking just as tired as I was.

Mondays were always hard on us, especially since we all were trying to keep up with our channels on the weekends. We all probably had a few hours of decent rest.

"Is everyone gonna be ready to upload our Prop Hunt video tonight?" Craig asked, pulling out the Uno cards. It was a tradition for us to play before school started.

"Yeah," Tyler muttered.

"Yup," Evan replied.

"I think so. I haven't had the chance to edit it yet." Brock gave me a look, that was between concerned and confused.

"You're usually the first one to finish editing out of all of us." I yawned, tears pricking my eyes.

"Angel called me last night. She was ranting and told me not to hang up, so I couldn't get to it." I missed the eye rolls and the silent scoffs that were passed around the group.

"You could've told her you had something to do." Marcel pointed out as the game had begun.

"She wouldn't be happy about it. I don't like upsetting her." I placed down the first card, nudging Brian to place his next. "I'll try to get it done before dinner."

"There's no pressure, L/n. Take your time." Jonathan reassured me, giving me a soft smile. His smile quickly melted away and before I could ask why tan arms wrapped around my shoulders.

"Y/n!" Angel, my girlfriend of one month, exclaimed. She pecked my lips, smiling happily. "Good morning, baby."

"Mornin', Ang." Looking back down at the table, I noticed it was my turn again and a plus two was laid before me. "Oh, you motherfuckers!" Everyone laughed as I pulled two cards from the deck.

"Don't curse, Y/n." Angel lightly patted my shoulder, giving me an admonishing frown. "It's just a game."

"Sorry, babe. It's just that my friends," I threw out a mock glare, "are little shits."

"I was wondering if you could walk me to my locker." I glanced over at my friends before looking at her. "Please, Y/n!"

"I really want to finish this game." I tried to reason, looking in the green eyes of my lover. "Can you wait until the second bell?"

"Y/n, I want to get there before Samantha and April do so we can catch up on some stuff." Seeing that I was still hesitating, she frowned again. "I bet Raymond would walk me to my locker." I turned back around, trying to hide my hurt expression.

"Yeah, I'll walk you." She clapped in excitement as I set my cards down. "See y'all at lunch." I tried to put on a smile, but it felt forced more than anything. Angel wrapped her hand around mine, leading me away from my friends.

Lately, I've been becoming less happy with Angel. She would give me little bits of an insult, leaving me to wonder if she meant it or not. And whenever I wouldn't let her have her way, she would just grow cold and serious.

But, I still liked her. She meant a lot to me. So, I took everything with stride.

My friends, on the other hand, didn't. Back at the table, all of them grew frustrated and angry with our relationship.

"I fucking hate her," Tyler growled, slamming down a blue card onto the deck.

"Join the club." Marcel sneered, glaring as Angel and I disappeared around the corner. "What does he see in her?"

"Maybe he's just staying for the sex." David pointed out, cursing quietly as a plus four was placed down.

"Y/n's too insecure for sex." Brian countered, crossing his arms. "Remember what happened when he had his fall out with Kyle? The whole reason it started was because Y/n refused to fuck him."

"Whatever it is, I hope it's good enough to justify her shitty behavior." Lui cut in, leaning against Evan. "Though, I doubt there's anything that really can justify it."

"We just gotta trust Y/n for now, guys." Brock sent everyone a reassuring glance. "I'm sure he knows what's best for him."

---

"Happy Valentine's Day!" I cheered, carrying an assortment of flowers and chocolates to my friends.

"Whoa!"

"Chocolate!"

"Holy shit!"

"Oh my God!" Various noises of surprise came from them as I placed the stash on the table, grinning proudly.

"Let me hand them out first, children." They went quiet as I started passing around gift cards with a gift attached.

For Evan, I stayed true to his simplistic nature and got him a bouquet of various red flowers. Jonathan received a chocolate box full of bear shaped candies. I got Lui and Brock assorted flowers, which were in almost every shade of the rainbow. Brian and Craig got Starbucks gift cards while I got David and Marcel Visa gift cards.

The last gift was for Tyler, but it was hidden in a plain, black box.

"Okay, open that one under the table." He did as I said and once he opened it, he started laughing loudly. I started laughing at his reaction, slapping the table.

"Y/n, you didn't!" He pulled out a blue dildo, about the size of his forearm. Brock quickly rushed to hide it, laughing along with the rest of us.

After the short laughing fit, they began to read the cards I gave them, either tearing up or smiling at my genuine messages.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Y/n!" Angel gave me a kiss on the mouth, which made me flustered.

"Ah, Angel! Not in front of the guys!" She pulled back, looking dejected. "Sorry, but you know I don't like kissing in front of other people."

"But it's Valentine's Day!" She pressed, slowly getting visibly angry with me. "Shouldn't we be making out all day?"

"I'm just not comfortable with it." She gave me a glare and I sighed, getting sad. "Sorry, Angel."

"No... Don't be. Just-- Did you get me anything?" I lit up, seeing the opportunity to cheer her up.

"Actually, yeah! It's at my house right now, so if you wanna come over later--"

"You mean to tell me that you don't have a gift to give me during the school day?" I shut my mouth, looking at her in confusion. The table around us went silent.

"Is that 'boyfriend protocol' or something?" She huffed frustratedly, taking a step back and crossing her arms.

"Uh, yes! How am I gonna show everyone how good of a boyfriend you are if you don't have a gift during school hours?"

"I don't think you'd need to flaunt around how good of a boyfriend I am if you already know it." I shrugged, trying to keep the tears at bay. "I'm no genius or anything, but I think I'm a very good boyfriend."

"Nevermind, Y/n. I'm going to class." She hissed, storming off. I clenched my fists, trying not to cry in front of my friends.

"Don't listen to her, Y/n." Lui comforted, leading me back to the table. "She's probably on her period or something."

"I made her a painting of us. I worked hard on it and everything." My voice cracked as I folded my arms and laid my head down on them. "I thought she would appreciate it."

"I don't think you guys should keep dating." Evan rubbed my back while talking to me. "You both clearly aren't happy in this situation."

"No, no. I'll figure it out. I really want to keep dating her." I looked at him with a teary face. "I'm sorry for crying."

"Hey, don't be." David came over, sitting next to me. "Why are you saying sorry?"

"Are you fucking crying right now? That's for babies, Y/n! I'm not gonna date a man who cries like a damn baby after an argument." Angel ranted, pointing at my face.

"I have no clue." I lied, rubbing my eyes harshly.

---

y/ntheactualgod has logged onto: what's jon's sexuality??

y/ntheactualgod: DHSJSK WHO CHANGED THE GROUPCHAT NAME

miniladd: IT WAS ME

h20delirious:

FUCK ALL OF YOU

h20delirious changed the chat name to: craig has a micropenis

y/ntheactualgod: and i oop

iamwildcat: y/n if you say "and i oop" one more time i'm going to freak the fuck out

y/ntheactualgod: A N D I OOP

moosnuckel: now you gotta beat them up tyler you said it yourself

iamwildcat: i'm gonna kick your ass as soon as we get to school tomorrow

y/ntheactualgod: do it pussy

vanossgaming: can i record it for my channel?

basicallyidowrk: they're gonna be the next logan paul and ksi

thegamingterroriser: but who's who?

y/ntheactualgod: call dibs on being ksi

iamwildcat: call dibs on being ksi F U CK I DON'T WANNA BE LOGAN PAUL

daithidenogla: sucks to suck

y/ntheactualgod: hold on, angel's messaging me

---

angelbabycakes: Y/N Y/N Y/N

y/ntheactualgod: what's up sugar

angelbabycakes: can i come over?

y/ntheactualgod: to hang out at like 2 AM?

angelbabycakes: not to hang out silly i wanna take our relationship to the next level

---

I felt my heart stop in my chest as I read over what she sent me.

---

y/ntheactualgod: oh. um, hold on

---

y/ntheactualgod: ANGEL WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHAT DO I DO?????

basicallyidowrk: SEND US A SCREENSHOT

y/ntheactualgod: unknown.png

h20delirious: oh my god

luicalibre: do u wanna have sex with her?

y/ntheactualgod: uhhhhh not really if i'm being honest ITS NOT THAT I DONT LIKE HER I LOVE ANGEL BUT IM NOT READY FOR SEX

miniladd: that's fine y/n! nothing to be worried about. just tell her how you feel

---

y/ntheactualgod: im sorry angel, but im not ready for that yet

angelbabycakes: look out ur window :)

---

"She didn't," I whispered in horror, rushing to go peek out the window. In my backyard stood my girlfriend of three months, who smiled up at me. I saw her put her phone to her ear and my phone lit up with a call from her. Answering it with shaky hands, I looked down at her through the window.

"Hey, baby! Can you let me in?"

"Angel, I love you a lot, but I can't do this." My voice trembled with anxiety as I saw her face be pulled into a frown. "I'm so sorry, honey, but I just can't have sex with anyone right now."

"Why not! I've been dating your sorry ass for three months! The least you could do is make it worth my while!"

"Angel, I--" She let out an enraged yell, picking up one of my lawn chairs and throwing it across my backyard. I watched in horror as she practically messed up my backyard. "Angel, please stop!"

"I'm tired of dating your wimpy ass! I don't deserve to be with such an ungrateful boyfriend." And she hung up on me, storming out of my yard. My hands were shaking so hard, I dropped my phone. Sinking to the floor, I stuck my head into my knees and started sobbing.

Was I crying of fear or heartbreak? I couldn't even tell.

---

"Good morning, Y/n!" I yelped loudly as David clapped his hand on my shoulder. He pulled his hand away, looking at me concerned.

"Oh, hey David." My voice was scratchy from a lack of sleep, but I didn't let it stop me from talking. "Sorry, you just scared me."

"I'm sorry. You look like you just saw a ghost." As we walked over to the lunch table, I kept my eyes open for Angel, becoming more paranoid the further in we walked. "Where were you this morning?"

This morning was really rough for me. I decided to skip out on sitting with my friends to hide in the bathroom, out of fear that Angel would confront me about last night.

"I had a long night. Woke up late." I lied, weakly smiling up at my friend. "Hope you guys were worried about me."

"We kinda were. Especially after what happened earlier this morning." I looked away from David, seeing that we were nearing the lunch table.

"I'm fine," I reassured to him, rushing to go sit down. I missed the unconvinced look on his face as he walked after me. "Hey, guys."

"Y/n! Where've you been?" Evan called out, grinning as I sat between him and Craig.

"Late morning," I responded, pulling out a cup of jello from my lunchbox. "Who won Uno today?"

"Lui did. He was totally cheating, though." Tyler complained, making me smile genuinely. I felt myself relax a little around them as I opened up the cup.

"You're a winner in my heart, Ty--"

"Y/n!" I couldn't help but jump harshly as Angel called out my name. I managed to squeeze all the jello out of the cup and all over my hand. Angel's tan arms wrapped around my shoulders and she moved to peck my cheek. "I didn't see you this morning."

Was she choosing to forget about what had happened?

"Uh... I woke up late." I stuttered, looking at my now ruined jello. "Sorry."

"You should really be more responsible, Y/n." As she picked her hand up to move a piece of my hair, I couldn't help the tiny flinch. Luckily she didn't notice. "You wanna come over later to watch some Netflix?" She gave me a look similar to the one she wore last night when she first stood in my backyard, letting me know what she was implying.

"I'm sorry, Angel, but I got--"

"Let me guess. Homework? A recording session? Friends coming over?" She took her arms away from my shoulders, giving me a harsh glare. "You never have time for me."

"Angel, not here," I whispered, looking at the eyes of my friends watching us talk.

"Don't give me that BS, L/n! You don't care about me anymore!" She stood up to her full height, putting her hands on her hips. "Don't talk to me unless you wanna apologize." And she stomped away again, leaving me behind with an empty cup of jello and a hand covered in it.

"I'll be right back," I muttered, scared that I was going to start crying in front of the whole cafeteria. I speed-walked to the nearest bathroom and locked myself in a stall. I let the tears slip down my cheeks and silently cried my heart out. My jello covered hand stained my shirt, but at the time, I didn't really care.

"Y/n? Are you in here?" I went silent, hoping that Brock would go away. "Y/n, I can see you sitting in there."

"Go away." My voice broke midsentence as Brock's footsteps came closer to my stall.

"Y/n, we just wanna help you." Jonathan came over as well. "Please come out."

"I-- I can't!" I yelled, feeling broken. "I'm trying so hard to make her happy and she just can't accept it! I've been letting her do as she pleases and it feels like she doesn't even listen to me. I don't want to cuddle with her and then she stops talking to me! I don't give her a gift during Valentine's Day at school and she yells at me! I say I don't want to have sex with her and she proceeds to trash my backyard! I'm so tired of not being enough!" I was gasping for air near the end, recognizing that I was starting to have another anxiety attack. I quickly unlocked the door and smashed into the nearest person's chest, sobbing heavily. They wrapped their arms around me, swaying back and forth as I let out month's worth of tears.

"We're here, Y/n. We've got you." Brian whispered. I felt another pair of arms wrap around us and soon, everyone joined in on the hug.

And for the first time in months, I felt safe and secure.

Once my crying had dialed down, we all separated. I wiped my face with my sleeve, trying to remove any remnants of tears.

"I'm sorry."

"Stop saying you're sorry for crying. There's no reason for you to say sorry when you're this mentally torn about something." Craig gave me a stern glare, holding me by the shoulders. "Why do you say sorry every time you cry?"

"I... I've been told that crying is considered being babyish." Evan huffed, rolling his eyes at me.

"So what? Showing emotions isn't being a baby. It's being genuine. If you hide your emotions, then you're just equivalent to a robot. You should be happy that you can express yourself so well. As cool as it would be to be a robot, I think it would get pretty boring." I smiled a little, sniffing.

"You think?"

"He's right, Y/n. Craig's expressive, but he lifts like a damn champion. And Tyler screams like a preteen, but he's just as strong as anyone else."

"Hey!" We all laughed at that.

"The point is is that you shouldn't feel bad for being emotional. It's a part of who you are." I nodded, feeling confident in myself. "Now, if I were to guess correctly, I'm assuming Angel told you that." My smile quickly changed to a frown.

"How'd you know?" I asked Marcel, to which Jonathan snorted at me.

"Your girlfriend's a douchebag, Y/n. I'm sorry, but it's the Gospel Truth." I just sighed, leaning against the wall.

"I know. But I love her." Brock grabbed my face gently, making me look in his eyes.

"Think of every moment you had with her that was happy." I looked up, trying to recall every moment.

When I asked her out. Our first date. The day we went on a road trip. Her aunt's wedding. My birthday.

"Now think of every moment that you weren't happy with her."

Our first fight. Meeting my parents. Valentine's Day. LAST NIGHT. NOT EVEN TWO MINUTES AGO--

"I have to go," I muttered, a sense of urgency and determination running through me. I slinked past everyone, rushing out of the bathroom and to the lunch room. They all followed me as I walked over to Angel's lunch table, where she turned to face me.

"Are you here to apologize?" I didn't even get to open my mouth when she spoke. "Well, too bad. I'm still angry--"

"No! I'm tired of doing what you tell me!" I cut her off, balling up my fists. "Last night, you trashed my backyard because I wouldn't fuck you! And you just yelled at me for saying no to hanging out after school. I've been doing everything for you when you wouldn't even do half of it for me!" The cafeteria went silent as I was speaking, watching us argue. And for once, I didn't care who saw me.

"How dare you, Y/n! I fucking love you!" She started tearing up, fake tears to get sympathy from me. "You're going to break up with me?!"

"Uh, yeah? Was that not clear?!" She closed her mouth, shocked by my rage. "If you fucking loved me then you would've respected the fact that I didn't want sex! You would've accepted my gift during Valentine's Day and you would've respected my wishes throughout the year of me saying no! But you didn't. Instead, you manipulated me continuously with no hesitation and it's because you can't seem to get in your tiny brain that not everyone owes you anything!" Tears leaked from my eyes, but this time, I didn't care who saw. "I'm done, Angel. I want everything I ever gave you back."

"You can't do that!" She grabbed my wrist, looking into my eyes. "Y/n, I love you!"

I looked down at my now ex-girlfriend, ripping my hand away from her.

"No, you don't." And with that, I left her behind, once and for all.

As I exited the cafeteria, I watched Lui come up and clap me on the shoulder, smiling at me.

"You did good, Y/n." I smiled. And it felt really great as a whole new feeling blossomed in my chest.

"Yeah. I did, huh?" Freedom. That's what this was. Freedom from months of torture. I wiped away tears, not feeling ashamed for shedding them. "You guys wanna go ditch for some Hardee's?"

"Hell yeah!"

"Alright!"

"Yes!"

"Sure."

"Cool!"

"I'm down."

"I call shotgun!"

"I'm taking my car!" As the others rushed out, Craig stayed behind, turning to look at me.

"Are you okay?" Linking our arms together, I sighed happily.

"I'm feeling great."

#bbs x reader #banana bus squad #banana bus squad x reader #tw: abuse #reader insert #x reader

[nogoodmox]

since it’s late n u guys have been so encouraging

i wanna preface this by saying....im not a Writer and this is pretty much the first wrestling-related thing i’ve ever written. also this was written at 3 am yesterday so pls keep that in mind ALSO it’s not very. romantic bc 1.) im not good with that stuff and 2.) it’s kinda covering the early stages of their relationship so they’re barely even friends yet! (this takes place right before war games!)

that being said thanks for being so nice abt it guys ur all the sweetest and i love u and i’m sorry this isn’t Better but constructive criticism would be appreciated! mwah!

Pete tapped his fist against his jaw in a needless effort to hype himself up.

The guaranteed brutality of his upcoming match didn’t faze him—brutality was his specialty, after all— but despite that, he couldn’t shake off an uncomfortable feeling.

Maybe it was the thought of having to rely on others for his victory, or maybe it was the thought of them relying on him. Neither were things that he was exactly used to.

He wondered, when the time came, if he would put himself in harm’s way for the sake of the others.

Pete thought of the last time he had relied on someone. It was ironic in a way, how the same person he had tentatively began to trust would be one of his opponents tonight.

He had never really thought of Roderick as a friend, just a sort of unavoidable ally. His eagerness had been irritating as was his general disposition, but Pete had chosen to put his trust in him. A choice he’d come to regret.

He liked to believe that the betrayal had made him all the more dangerous now. Not only could he use his desire for vengeance to his advantage, he’d also be sure not to make a mistake like that again.

Pete had operated just fine on his own for as long as he could remember. There were a select few times where he’d tried opening up, and each time he paid for it. It took a few experiences for the lesson to be drilled into his brain, but at least now there was no way he could forget it.

He should stick with what he knew best, and what he knew best was solitude.

Keep interactions short and bitter. You look out for one person, and that person is yourself. Everyone else is simply an obstacle or dead weight.

It was a philosophy he lived by, and one he truly believed in. There just happened to be times where he’d let it slip and thought maybe, just maybe, someone could be an exception. But they never were.

A steady knock on the locker room door disrupted his thoughts. A faint feeling of pain registered in Pete’s jaw as he realized he’d been tapping his fist against it this whole time. Before he could say anything, the door opened and Ricochet’s head popped in.

“You got a minute?”

Pete didn’t answer, he just raised an eyebrow when he noticed something in Ricochet’s hands. It looked like a tube of toothpaste.

Ricochet followed his gaze and held up the object, wiggling it in his hand. “Oh, this? Yeah, it’s kinda why I’m here, actually.” He walked up to Pete and held it out to him. Pete read the label, which only confused him more.

“White….face paint?”

The other man adjusted his North American Championship on his shoulder. “Yeah. Y’know, war paint for tonight. It was Hanson and Rowe’s idea. They figured we should at least look like a cohesive unit.”

“What’s the point of that?” Pete deadpanned. “Face paint won’t get us a win against Undisputed Era.”

Ricochet looked at a loss for a second, then sighed. “C’mon man. It’s to pump you up, get you excited to kick some ass. Plus it’ll look cool, yeah?”

Pete wasn’t very convinced, but he wasn’t in the mood to argue. He did admittedly like the idea of amping up the intimidation factor, not that he was going to tell Ricochet that. “Fine. Might as well fool people into thinking we’re a real team.”

“S’that supposed to mean? We’re a real team. Cole and his cronies are gonna see just how real we are tonight.” Ricochet declared, giving Pete a few taps on the chest.

Pete stiffened at the contact and glared at the highflier. Ricochet was someone who currently fell under the obstacle category in Pete’s eyes. He hadn’t forgotten the match where both their titles had been on the line. They never received closure, and Pete intended to change that next time they crossed paths in the ring.

He’d prefer for Ricochet to stay an obstacle rather than become dead weight.

“I’ve said it before, you’re just a guy carrying a piece of gold that I want. As for the other two, they’ve already got each other. We may be on the same side, but we’re not a team.”

The grin on Ricochet’s face weakened a bit. “Man do you like, practice this stuff in a mirror before you talk to anyone?” He chuckled at his own joke—was it a joke? The weight of Pete’s words didn’t seem to mean much to him, however, as he quickly bounced back. “Anyway, face paint, yes or no?”

“Sure.” Pete said.

“Great.” Ricochet tossed the tube of paint to Pete. “Doll me up.”

Pete barely caught the tube in time. He whipped his head up to face Ricochet, trying to make sure he had heard him correctly. “What?”

Ricochet had placed his title on the bench next to him and met Pete’s gaze expectantly. “What? I can’t put it on myself. There’s no mirror in here.”

“Then find one.”

“No can do.” He almost looked smug, as if he had planned this. “Bathroom’s closed for repairs, apparently Kyle and Bobby thought it’d be fun to flush Sullivan’s gear down the toilet. He caught ‘em in the act.” Ricochet let out a whistle. “It wasn’t pretty.”

Pete didn’t want to hear any more. For whatever reason, Ricochet was intent on sporting war paint, he might as well indulge him. After tonight, he could set his sights on what really mattered.

“Alright. C’mere.” Pete placed his championship on the bench opposite of Ricochet’s and squeezed some paint onto his fingers.

He lifted his hand only to pause suddenly, leaving it hovering in front of Ricochet’s face. “What’s their paint look like anyways?”

Ricochet thought for a moment. “It’s like…a V shape on each cheek.” He explained, tracing the motion over Pete’s cheeks with his finger. “Simple enough.”

“Right.” Pete grunted, doing everything he could to ignore the way his face had heated up. He pressed his fingers to Ricochet’s face and began painting the design, trying his best to keep his hand steady.

Pete came to a halt when Ricochet started giggling quietly. He gave him a strange look, pulling his hand away.

The other man took a moment to compose himself, then cleared his throat. “Tickles.” Came the simple explanation. Pete rolled his eyes and continued with his work, retracing the lines to smooth out the jagged edges.

He paused again to add more paint to his fingers, avoiding Ricochet’s gaze. Pete could feel the man looking at him and unconsciously tossed his head a bit to let his hair cover his face.

As Pete started on the other cheek, he noticed Ricochet hadn’t stopped staring at him at him, almost amusingly.

“What?” Pete finally asked, with a hint of challenge.

Ricochet seemed unbothered. “You’re just a lot more careful than I thought you’d be” He said, a little quieter than usual. It was unclear if the remark was meant to be teasing. It seemed sincere enough, but even if it was Pete wasn’t sure what the implications were.

Pete said nothing and averted his eyes again, finishing with a final swipe. “There.” He muttered. “All done.”

“Great! I’ll just have to trust that it looks good.” Ricochet reached up to touch his freshly painted face, then decided against it. “Alright, your turn!”

Pete froze, he hadn’t thought that far ahead.

He wasn’t particularly keen on anyone paying close attention to his face.

It was bumpy and weird; he knew this. Acne scars and uneven stubble were just the beginning of it. It was something he’d learned to accept, but he wasn’t exactly dying for others to get a good look at it.

Regardless, he knew Ricochet wouldn’t take no for an answer. If he had, Pete wouldn’t have just spent the past few minutes spreading paint on his face in uncomfortable silence.

Ricochet took the paint tube from Pete’s hands. “You mind uh…” He made a hair flip motion. “Getting that out of the way?”

Pete looked down at his hands, covered in white paint, and decided to go with option two. He swung his head to the side—a little too forcefully—and flipped the blond mess back. He was satisfied for a moment before it came toppling back down in his face.

It was times like this where he seriously reconsidered growing out his hair.

“I gotchu.” Ricochet intervened, looking even more amused than before. He tucked Pete’s hair behind his ear to keep it from coming loose again. “Sure got a lot of hair homeboy.” He commented.

“Guess you can’t relate.” Pete replied bluntly.  

Ricochet laughed out loud at that, almost too eager to make fun of himself. “Guess not.” He emptied what was left of the paint into his hand and got to work. Pete winced at the cold feeling, trying not to pull away. “But you know,” Ricochet continued. “The lack of hair could be the secret to my speed.”

Pete wasn’t fully sure if he was joking. “I reckon that’s why you got pieces missing in your eyebrows too?”

The highflier laughed again, this time not as loud, but a huge smile graced his face. “Man, you’re alright.”

Ricochet spread the paint on Pete’s cheeks with ease, moving just as smoothly as he did in the ring. Pete fought with everything he had to try not to break out into a fit of laughter. Ricochet was right, the feeling made him ticklish. His lip curved upward in a smile that he quickly pushed away.

“All set.” Ricochet finally announced, looking proud of his work. Pete didn’t doubt that the man had probably done a better job than him. “Now we look like a force to be reckoned with.”

Pete held couldn’t help but soften his expression a bit. He felt cool, and far more relaxed than earlier. Once again, he wasn’t going to tell Ricochet that, but he appreciated the feeling. “If painting faces keeps you from screwing up tonight, then so be it.” He replied with a shrug.

Ricochet shook his head, and if Pete didn’t know any better he’d say he was annoyed. “You never quit do you? Y’know we can do this whole rivalry thing without all the little remarks, yeah?”

“Cause make no mistake,” Ricochet’s tone grew serious. “I’m just as focused on that title of yours as you are on mine.”

The sudden change surprised Pete, but it didn’t faze him. After all, this was why he kept up his guard so high. He knew behind every person there was a set of intentions, and each interaction with him was a means of achieving them.

“I’m well aware.” Pete said evenly. “S’why I’m not buying this partner ruse. We’re not friends, and we never will be.”

Ricochet paused for a moment. “Just ‘cause you’re a future opponent, doesn’t mean we can’t be on the same page now. It’s no ruse, I’ve got your back tonight. I mean that.”

“Better to have your own back first.”

Ricochet lifted his hand to rub the back of his neck, looking unsure of where to go from there.

“You’re a tough nut to crack.” He said finally, leaning down to grab his North American championship. When he came back up, he was smiling again. “But I’m willing to prove where my loyalties lie out there. There’s no hiding in the ring.”

Pete eyed him for a moment, then nodded briskly. “That’s one thing we can agree on.”

“I’ve got another. We both wanna beat the hell out of those undisputed assholes, right?” Ricochet offered. “That snake Roddy’s gonna be out there tonight. If you ask me, you should focus on giving him the ass whopping he’s had coming instead of making enemies out of your partners.”

An odd silence followed his words. Pete didn’t know how to respond, and Ricochet’s intense gaze wasn’t making it any easier. In his heart Pete knew he had a point.

He was more than willing to take on all four members of the Undisputed Era himself, but he knew realistically he wouldn’t come out victorious. He needed Ricochet and the War Raiders whether he liked it or not.

Just one night couldn’t be so bad, right? Even if it involved putting his faith in other people. Ricochet had nothing to gain from betraying him. Hanson and Rowe, he wasn’t so sure, but considering how fixated they had been on the Undisputed Era for the past several weeks, it was unlikely.

Ricochet saved Pete from having to muster up an answer by reaching over and picking up his United Kingdom Championship. Pete’s eyes widened and he tensed up, ready to snatch it out of his hands.

There was no need to, however, as Ricochet placed it snugly on Pete’s shoulder.

He gave it a few pats, admiring the intricate design on the belt for several moments.

Ricochet took a few steps back, his own title sitting around his waist. “You look good.” He said finally. “Let’s do work tonight, mate.”

Pete’s partner tossed the now empty paint tube in his hand once, then turned to saunter off.

“Not your mate.” Pete replied in a half-hearted protest. He couldn’t see Ricochet’s face as he left the room, but Pete knew he was smiling.

“By the way, the bathroom’s perfectly fine. Just figured we could use a team bonding exercise.”

#heh #there u go #like i said not very romantic #but idk ihope u enjoy! thanks for being so nice guys <3333333 #mine #ig #writing for wrestlers like pete or dean is really really hard #cuz i love them so much im afraid im gonna mess them up

[unproduciblesmackdown]

was just reminded of this good thread i saw the other week from an artist i follow on twitter

she was talking abt how its some bullshit &/or someone caring more abt their power trip than giving the best art advice/education they can whenever someone’s stance is that studying or being inspired by anything from anime/manga is Bad Art Technique and useless and etc etc etc

and first of all a related tangent, it reminds me of this Other thread months n months ago where ppl were talking abt whats even meant anymore when we say Anime. like, obv it’s like “japanese animation” but if its simply animated in japan does that count. if it is of the Same Style but developed somewhere in the west do we call it anime. etc

but anyways yknow she was saying that its a lie to pretend Real Artists will never study / draw from anime/manga; coz like yeah sure maybe if ur a glassblower but as for “Industry” art jobs, yeah actual they do? tf

and if you aren’t learning art w the intent to be a Professional, then you can learn from whatever you want, and again—even ppl who ARE pros are gonna ref this shit and all

and then also she was saying w regards to Young Artists or anyone else just getting started on their snart journey, that its super counterproductive to be all “never learn from anime” like it’s an awful starting point when its like...no fucking shit if anyone is copying screenshots of any cheaply animated show its not like its gonna result in anything amazing; and if anyone learns from any kind of cartoon / stylized art then theyre gonna be in the same situation, theres no need to single out Anime Ruins Ur Art or w/e. like, y’know, oh don’t use impressionism as a starting point b/c then you’ll never learn how to paint photorealistically like

there’s no ONE STYLE and everyone’s starts somrwhere and is derived from a lot of influences and grows and evolves. unless really your only goal is strictly photorealism. but even if it IS; everyone has to get interested in art somehow to even start practicing or whatever, so whatever is someone’s inspiration/motivation to get them going...why stop them

like ppl who are older and go “i can’t draw” and they mean that they’re not GOOD at drawing, but also that this means they actually arent even allowed to draw? like fuck that. and then they’ll feel like they couldnt even start learning if they wanted to. and tbh even kids like beyond 7 yrs old start to sort themselves into who can draw well and who can’t

like if ppl start drawing b/c of their vaporeon fanart then what freaking ever

and ppl who want to draw more will be self-motivated to learn how to draw better. you’ll find out about all the Advanced-er art elements/techniques and you’ll WANT to learn more abt that shit. if ppl want to become more advanced they will. they’ll wanna draw from more and more sources and be interested in art more generally.

plus, like, you’re always gonna learn some real techniques even from drawing vaporeon. for stylized art / cartoons to even work and be Good it’s still gotta be based on these art fundamentals. and yeah when you’re little you just see it as kinda copying lines and all but then if you want even just your vaporeon to improve, you’ll learn shit other than trying to transfer one image onto the page or whatevs

i mean that’s basically me. my motivation for drawing for basically ever was to make fanart, and that’s still all i wanna draw for. but i still want to try to make my art improve as much as it can and the development over the years and even looking at it in like 2-3 month windows is noticeable. b/c u make art enough and you’ll want it to get better and it does

also i mean i never had a naruto phase like all you fuckin emos but i was alive and so of course some anime / manga inspired me to draw / influenced my style, and also i’m alive w the art of ppl who were alive from the 60s on so THEY’RE art has been influenced by anime/manga and so is mine when it is influenced from THAT. like, anime was stylistically derived from western animation in the first place, and then of course it’d be influenced right back. and then there’s the fact that there’s, like, im embarrassed i cant think of the japanese guy who did the original character designs for scooby doo. all those olden cartoons are alreay technically anime influenced. is scooby doo an anime

and then, y’know, it just gets down to being needlessly shitty. like “oh the anatomy isn’t realistic” or “its too simplified” or “____ doesn’t work like that irl!! NEVER DO ____” or “if you draw the [choose stylized umn...what do you call it when u invent a visual language to depict something more intangible or whatever or for dramatic effect....i say “its a figure of speech” but yknow] you are contributing to the downfall of art itself” etc etc etc as if Clearly Anime Influenced Stylistic Maneuvers is all bad and awful and you’ll have to unlearn it aaaaahhh

whennn actuallllyy you could say all that shit about equivalent elements in western comics/cartoons/pop art. but nobody much does that (at least not with all the “NEVER EVER EVER DO ___” or the other kinds of implications that this is awful and will ruin your art forever and is an objective sin” like again if you’re not trying to teach someone ONLY realism maybe take it easy. there’s not really any true hard and fast forever unvreakable Art Rules. and to single this one sort of “newer” mm “Foreigner” style is. pretty crappy

and pretty pointless and often counterproductive and or just. not even true

and so anyways the point is that yeah its anime draw what you like to draw and go from there and you really can’t Avoid any anime-derived influence and why tf would you want to. hmm

#tbh i think a lot of my sort of...early Stylized style (coz i did also have a fairly realism-leaning approach) was derived from...newspaper #comics #and then uhhh lemme think. throw in some tv shows; including some that were obv anime-influenced #MOST of all tbh ive always been inspired by seeing ppls fanart so thats a big range of styles to draw from and guess what #lotta anime influence floating around there. everyones influences converge and evolve into smthing different #and in recent yrs (like the past decade) theres been a lot more of like Online Artists n webcomics n blogs n shit to marvel over #and those’re my main influences (some book illustrators also and other miscellaneous sources) and along the way #as you get better its easier to consciously guide and tweak your style n try new things and know what you like and what you don’t #i kinda love to look back and see myself trying out / gravitating towards shit thats now p much a permanent part of my style #me going :| thinking abt various ‘tutorials’ for General Art Shit that specifically single out anime/manga style shit as Bad No-No’s like #fffgghh that could be a billion other Unrealistic shortcuts. why waste this section on Things To Never Do when its more like. hey look at #shit around you irl and be guided by these general concepts #maybe don’t be like ‘’so; never use these shortcuts!!!’’ and then turn around and be like ‘’use these shortcuts instead’’ like ok but

[phandomsecretvalentines]

(darling don't be afraid) i will love you

Happy late-vday-early-bday @ryn-exe (can’t tag?)!!! Hope u enjoy, soz if it’s not good but i’m not so amazing(phil)

This is 2.1k words. There’s a bit of dream-violence (not in detail) and a lot of anxiety and fear so if u don’t like that stuff!! Tell me!!!! And i’ll write something else for you, i don’t mind. (You didn’t say anything i wasn’t supposed to write but idk). I’d describe this as hurt/comfort i think lmaooo

Basic summery i wrote fo myself: Dan and Phil, and how they deal with each other’s 3am fears (2009 vs 2018, now)

From a pitch-hitter 💓💓

——

[Saturday; 10.26.09; 03:37]

——

Dan<33 (03:37): phil? :[

Phil (03:45): Yrha

Phil (03:47): Sorry!! Yeah**

Phil (03:47): Why are you up so early/late?? I barely woke up

Dan<33 (03:49): sorry i woke you :/

Dan<33 (03:50): my parents went away for a bit and i’m home alone and i cant turn off the lights cuz im too scared

Dan<33 (03:51): and i can’t sleep so bad even hugging pillow cant help mee :[[

Dan<33 (03:52): so im sitting in the hallway with every light im the house on alone in just my pants

Dan<33 (03:52): and i was a idiot and missed you so i woke you up at so late and now ur gonna hate me crap

Dan<33 (03:52): sorry

Phil (03:53): I’ll never ever hate you dan!!! <<33333333333333

Phil (03:53): I’m sorry ur so scared :[[ I wish I was there to be strong and protect u again

Dan<33 (03:54): i wish you were here too

Phil (03:54): :[ <3

Dan<33 (03:58): CDAP PHIL I THINK I HESRF A GHOST

Dan<33 (03:58): IR MONSTER

Dan<33 (03:58): FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

Phil (03:59): Dan oh my gosh are you okay??

Dan<33 (04:00): yeah i think but

Dan<33 (04:00): i heard something phil

Dan<33 (04:01): im scared

Dan<33 (04:02): i can’t believe im 18 and i’m actually sobbing out of fear alone and naked in a hallway over a fucking noise

Dan<33 (04:02): to my boyfriend

Dan<33 (04:02): on skype

Dan<33 (04:03): fuck

Phil (04:03): Dan :[[ i’m so sorry

Dan<33 (04:04): it’s not your fault

Phil (04:04): Want me to call you??? (If u want)

Dan<33 (04:05): can we skype instead?

Dan<33 (04:05): i want to see your face plz <3

Dan<33 (04:05): if thats okay

Phil (04:06): That’s fine! One sec plz :]

——

[Phil would like to add Dan<33 to a call (02:33)]

[Accept] [Decline]

[Accepted]

——

When Dan answered the call, his face was red and puffed and wet. Even through the crap-pixel screen quality, Phil could see that.

“Hey,” Dan’s voice broke.

“Hi,”

Dan was shaking slightly.

His face suddenly flushed, “Oh shit, I forgot – I’m, uh, in only pants. In front of you. Crap.”

“It’s fine, I’ve seen you shirtless before.” Phil smiled what he hoped was reassuringly, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah — I mean, I am now. I guess.”

“Are you cold?”

“Kinda.” Dan admitted.

“Want to go to bed?”

“My room is too dark –”

“Well, I’ll be there, wont I? And I’ll protect you from everything bad in the dark.”

“You’re not really here.”

“Only ever a few hours away. And if worst comes to worst, I have the police line and the monster-killer line. So you’ll be super safe.”

Dan muffled a giggle, “Yeah, okay.”

He shuffled up off the floor, and made his way into his bedroom, clutching the laptop tightly.

“I dunno if I’m getting any sleep tonight, honestly.”

“You will! You can cuddle your pillow and I’ll tell you stories until the demons go away and you can sleep.”

“I’m not five, Phil.” There was no malice in his reply.

“You don’t need to be five for any of that to be true.” Phil said, serious tone.

“Okay,”

Minutes later, Dan was snuggled under his covers; hugging a pillow tightly as he listened to Phil go on about some guy at the market.

“Then, he pulled a hot dog out of his left pocket. Who keeps a single —”

“Phil?” Dan interrupted, his voice was dripping with sleep.

“Mm?”

“Do you think I’m stupid?”

“No.” Phil answered simply.

“I mean – for being so scared of such dumb stuff. Seven-year-olds are braver than me.”

“It’s okay to have fears, Dan. I bet you’re not the only adult with those fears either,”

“I’m scared of the dark. And ghosts and monsters and moths and demons and –”

“– and that’s fine. I don’t mind.”

“And it’s not annoying to deal with? I’m not?”

“You will never be annoying to ‘deal with’; I promise.”

Phil meant it.

——

[Monday; 12.07.09; 02:59]

——

Phil :]]]<333333 (02:59): Dan?

Dan (03:00): yeah??? <3

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:03): I’m scared

Dan (03:04): of what :[[

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:04): I dunno it’s just creaky downstairs and I’m alone for the night I guess

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:04): Nvm

Dan (03:05): no tell me i want to help u

Dan (03:05): plz

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:07): Well it’s just that

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:08): It’s really dark and windy

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:08): And there was a tree snapping against my window I thought our house might’ve blown down

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:09): And I thought i heard thunder which usually isn'tn too bad but right now its scaring me a bit

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:10): I don’t wanna be alone rn is all

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:10): But i am brave! So it’ll be okay i think

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:10): Don’t worry about me <33

Dan (03:11): i want to worry :[

Dan (03:11): you don’t always have to be brave <333 ily and i would give you the biggest hug if i were there

Dan (03:12): and tell the trees and thnder to fuck off and let you sleep

Dan (03:12): and then we would sleep all cuddled up togerher like we do sometimes and it would be warm and nice

Dan (03:14): i wish i were there with you

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:15): You will be someday so it’s okay now too :]

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:15): But plz tell the trees and thunder to fuck off it’s very loud :’[[[

Dan (03:16): if u call me i will????

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:17): Lol okay :p

——

[Incoming call from Dan]

[Accepted]

——

“Hi!” Dan really should be quieter; last time he called Phil at three in the morning his dad had yelled at him.

“Hi,” Phil’s sleep-laced voice answered.

A booming crack of thunder, and a whimper.

“Don’t worry – it… won’t hurt you.” Despite everything, Dan was sometimes still quite new to the role of 'comfort’ in their relationship.

“I know, just loud.”

Dan wished he was like Phil. He wished he could just pull out an intresting story, a funny idea.

“Sorry.”

He wasn’t like Phil, though.

“Want to play a game?”

“What game could we possibly play through a phone call?” Dan could practically hear Phil rolling his eyes.

Dan wracked his brain for quick ideas.

“Eye-Spy?”

“We’re… not in the same room Dan.”

“Yeah, true.”

Dan’s room suddenly felt rather empty and uninteresting.

Dan felt empty and uninteresting.

“What do you want me to do?” He finally muttered.

He held his breath.

“I just like hearing your voice, it calms me down. I like when you rant about things you love.”

Let it out.

“Oh. Well – want to hear my never-ending thoughts on WALL-E then?”

“Definitely.”

——

[Sunday; 02.04.18; 04:12]

——

“Phil?”

“Mhm?” He rolled over and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, “What’re you doing up?”

“There was a moth.”

“A moth?”

“Yes!” Dan looked around the room nervously, rolling on his heels, “It’s in the lounge somewhere and I can’t sleep knowing it’s out there — lurking.”

Phil groaned.

“Fucking kill it! Or set it free, I dunno. I just need it gone.”

“You are truly the perfect mix of 'needy child’ and 'angry businessman’, Danny.”

“Fuck off.”

“Mm, lemme get a cup then.”

Phil shoved on his glasses and stumbled out of bed into the kitchen, Dan following closely behind.

“Where was it again?” He asked, grabbing a wine glass from the cupboard.

They hadn’t really drank much alcohol these past few years– since Dan had gone on antidepressents— but they still always kept the glasses, to drink Ribena and seem fancy.

“No! You’ll need a bigger cup, it’s huge.” He whined.

“Okay,” he grabbed another glass, “where is it?”

“In the lounge last I saw.”

“I’ll go look, you get a piece of paper.”

Genuine terror painted over Dan’s face, “I don’t want to be alone.”

“Christ’s sake Dan, it’s a moth, not an armed burglar. I think you’ll live.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do. Now, just go a minute.”

He then ventured into the lounge, still half-drowned by sleep, when he heard a shriek.

“Dan?”

“Phil! Fucking help!”

Anyone else might’ve thought Dan was being held at gunpoint from the panicked way he was yelling.

“Coming!”

He went into the hall; Dan was standing there, paralysed with fear, as a giant moth flew circles around him. He had tears threatening to fall.

“Oh dear,”

Phil went over to the closet and grabbed a broom, spent a few go’s waving it around– and almost hitting Dan in the process— before smacking it head on.

“Aw, now I feel bad for killing it,” He whispered.

Dan was on the floor now, shaking, tears stained down his cheeks. He was in only pants.

And Phil was there.

“Well, the moth’s gone now isn’t it?” He crouched down next to Dan, putting his hands gently on his shoulders.

“Mmm,” Dan had his head tucked in his knees.

“Are you okay?”

Silence.

“That’s fine. Want me to make you some tea?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

A few minutes later, in the kitchen, with dried cheeks; “I can’t believe how much of a wimp I am.”

The kettle rang, and Phil took it off the stove carefully.

“No —”

“I know, I know, my therapist told me. 'It’s never weak to have fears’. But I cried over a fucking moth. In our hallway. It’s late and –”

“– and that’s okay.”

“It’s not okay Phil!”

“It’s fine in the moment, that’s what I mean.”

He grabbed a NASA mug, and poured the boiling water in a teapot.

“I must be exhausting.”

Phil dropped in a teabag.

He still remembered. It was a promise made at 4am; a promise over Skype to a more-than-slightly-terrified eighteen year old.

A promise made to a bunch of pixel’s with a name and a face and fear.

A promise his Dan probably didn’t even remember, honestly.

“No, I promised that much.”

“Mhm,”

He poured the tea.

“So, two sugars or three?”

“Two.”

——

[Friday; 02.16.18; 05:12]

——

Dan was on the sofa; snuggled up in blankets and watching the winter Olympics through his small Iphone screen. His eyes were heavy, he yawned.

Their bedroom door squeaked opened.

“Hey,” Phil spoke quietly.

“Up so late?”

“You’re up too.”

“Well — I’m watching the Olympics. You know it’s on late in the UK.”

“Alright.” Phil shuffled into the kitchen, grabbing a glass and leaving the cupboard door wide open.

“Why are you awake?”

“Just another nightmare, s'fine.”

“Then why did you come out here?”

His voice might’ve been read as upset – he was just tired. Half the time Dan honestly didn’t mean to come off so rude.

“Dunno,”

“What was it about?”

“Uh — I think my family was trapped, you included, and I was the only person who could save them. But I had to do something… I think, I had to open a lock to somewhere? But I was too nervous. I saw everyone die; I knew it was my fault. I saw – you know, blood. Not too much. But it’s fine.”

As he spoke, he went over to the sink and got a glass of water, adding iced-cubes; his tone was unnaturally cool and casual.

“But I heard your skull shatter –”

“What the fuck —”

“Sorry! You asked though.”

“No – I mean, that’s horrible. Jesus christ, are you okay?”

Phil shrugged, “It happens, it’s okay though. Just a dream.”

It was only at that moment Dan noticed Phil’s eyes were a little too redded, his words a little bit shaky.

Phil started back to their room.

“Are you going back to sleep?”

“Probably.” His reply was tired.

“Oh – uh, well, why don’t you stay with me and watch the Olympics? I know you’ve never really cared, not your thing, but still I think that —”

“Sure! I’ll stay, yeah.” Phil quickly answered.

“Okay.”

Phil put his glass of water back down on the counter, and walked over to the sofa. Dan opened up his blanket fort and invited Phil in.

“These are the men’s single runs.”

“Mhm,” Phil nuzzled his head into Dan’s neck, which usually would’ve bothered him, but he didn’t mind so much.

A few minutes pass, “So what’s that guy supposed to be doing? I need your commentary; you know.”

I just like hearing your voice, it calms me down.

“Well, that’s the Japanese lead skater, which means —”

#submission

[lukeysgirl]

The Note Tree ❋ L.H. Pt.4

Part  F O U R 

Summary: A cherry blossom tree, residing at the farthest part of the schools courtyard. Nobody dwelled there, and you didn’t care much for it. Until you kept hearing one song played over and over, with lyrics changed to touch at your curiosity. They knew you were listening, and one day you gave in and made your way to the pink tree. Waiting for you, a series of notes tied to a single strand of string.

Word Count: 3k+

AN: back again with another part! im so sorry this series is slow due to the notes thing, it’s kinda a bummer aha. ill be more lenient and release them regardless of the note count sometimes. but as usual, lets try n hit 100. also to everyone who is so supportive and reblogging this more than once: ya’ll are the real MVPs aha im so glad you guys like this series :) xx 

Parts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty.

I M A G I N E 

Thursday 

“I told you that I owed you. I never said when we could talk about it.” 

At the brink of your literacy period, first period, was the infamous blonde with ocean eyes. Luke had sat across from you on the oak wood table, his hands planted nicely on the glossed object. His hair was curly, as usual, with locks of gold shining from the ceiling lights. He was wearing a slightly ripped Blink-182 shirt with the usual black skinny jeans and converse. He stared at you curiously, like he’s never seen you before. 

“But now is a good time, is it not?” Luke asked, a smile forming on his lips as you put your book down to rest and stared at him. You couldn’t help but feel a twinge of annoyance just staring at the pompous boy before you. 

“It’s way too early, Hemmings,” you began tiredly, a yawn escaping your mouth. “It takes a lot of energy to put up with you at times, and I have little to no energy right now.” 

“Hey man, I forced a paper cut on myself to cover you,” Luke pointed out, showing off his hand. The cut was now covered by a Hello Kitty bandaid, with the cat herself in a nurse outfit. “It’d be nice if you can give me some of the energy when I want it.” 

“Fucks sake,” you muttered, stuffing a piece of paper in the page you left off at and closed your book. “For one thing, I didn’t ask for you to cover for me. Also, of all ways to cover me, why the hell would you give yourself a paper cut?” 

“I covered for you because I know how much you care about your attendance,” Luke said softly, having your expression soften to a more ponderous look. “You never, ever want to be seen as a tardy student, so I respect that greatly and just want to help–” 

“I don’t need your help,” you quickly interjected, but Luke was quick to drop that.

“For the paper cut, I thought it’d be more comical,” Luke said simply, having you shake your head with a small smile. You had to admit: Luke is quite silly, and that makes him fairly endearing. “Can’t lack any chance to be me, ya know?” 

“Of course,” you said simply, still retaining your soft smile for a few brief moments before straightening your lips. “So, about me owing you–” 

“You look really beautiful when you smile like that.” Eh?! You looked up at Luke, seeing him smile fondly at you. His sudden words left you slightly speechless. Blood surged to your cheeks, staring into his ocean blue eyes to see the audacity. 

“Don’t be so candid!” You exclaimed, looking away to allow your embarrassment to slowly dissolve. Luke put his arms up in defense, a smug smile painting his lips as he did. You wanted to punch it right off his face, but you couldn’t. After all, that dude did cover for you willingly. “A-anyways, what do you want?” 

“That’s quite the offer, Y/N,” Luke began, sitting back in his seat while folding his arms together. “I desire a lot of things, but obviously there’s a limit.” 

“Nothing sexual or stupid, alright?” You vaguely specified, having Luke squint his eyes in contemplation. You then watch as he reached down for his bag, shifted a bit inside, and conjured a piece of paper. 

“Here.” 

You took the paper and held it up, reading the contents of it. You noticed a list of band names, and beside them, times. There were details of the location, including the venue name and the street number. Blues, reds and blacks were splashed all over it, having your index finger rub down the names as you compared the colors to your skin. 

“We’re having a concert this Saturday,” Luke informed as you continued staring at the paper. He brought his finger to the paper, staring attentively at the page as he pointed to a time. The row of that time held the band name 5 Seconds of Summer. “We’re on at 1 A.M. Michael was handing them out like a maniac the other day. It seems like you didn’t know?” 

“Oh, I did know about the performance,” you said simply, putting the flyer on the desk to begin folding it. “I wasn’t paying attention when the boys came to talk to the girls about it. I was half asleep.” 

“As usual?” 

“Mm.” You filed the paper in your backpack. Luke watched you attentively, his arm bent and leaned against the desk with his head leaning against his forearm. He stared at you, having your heart stop for a brief moment. “What?” You asked, glaring at his obnoxious behavior. 

“So is that a yes that you’re coming?” Luke chimed, his eyes full of hope and anticipation. You let out a sigh, thinking for a moment before slowly nodding. “Wait, like actually?” 

“We can pinkie swear on it,” you began, swallowing harshly as you put your pinkie up. 

“You… you still do that kinda stuff?” Luke commented, his pink, chapped lips parting to stare at you in wander. You found yourself blushing again, really hating the fact that Luke Hemmings was putting you in this flustered position. “That’s damn cute, Y/N.” 

“Just shut up and swear already!” 

Without hesitation, Luke’s pinkie found itself wrapped around yours. You felt the roughness of his skin, the thickness and callouses dancing around your pinkie due to his guitar playing. A few seconds pass and you attempt to let go of his grip, but his pinkie was strongly attached to yours. You stared at Luke, questioning his deal. But he just gazed distantly at you, seeming unaware as to what he was doing. 

“You… can let go now,” you murmured, watching as he quickly reeled his pinkie back and began blushing. You rolled your eyes, curious as to why he was embarrassed. He then quickly placed his hands behind his neck, scratching the nape with his light, blonde locks. 

“Anyways, how did it go with the tree? Did you go?” 

“Oh, yeah I did,” you said simply, feeling your cheeks smudge slightly with blush. You took your book back in your hands, allowing your eyes to fall to it to occupy your sight. You traced the dents worth of the title, feeling the smooth, fake-gold print on it. “It went well, more or less. Didn’t meet the stalker but he left kind words on notes for me. He was the reason you covered for me.” You revealed an accidental soft smile that made Luke widen his eyes a bit. 

“I see this stalker is somehow advancing better than me,” Luke began. You tilted your head up to stare at the boy attentively. He leaned back into the chair and threw his head back. You watch his Adams Apple bob up when gulping. “Ah, he’s making it so difficult…” 

You hadn’t bothered to question his words. Luke was always one to say things that were deemed empty for you. Not that you hadn’t cared, but you didn’t know what he meant and knew he was only going to dodge telling you. But he was acting somewhat annoyed, which doesn’t seem like a trait Luke would own. Mister popular, irresistible, and ecstatic Luke Hemmings isn’t someone to get annoyed, but rather be the one who is annoying. 

“Anyways, where are your boyfriends?” You asked, watching as Luke regained himself and leaned his elbows onto the desk again. His large hands held his head up by the jawline as he began blowing away his curly locks from his eyes. 

“Probably with your girlfriends,” Luke said with a shrug. “Where are your girlfriends?” 

“Probably with your boyfriends,” you mocked, having Luke roll his eyes before chuckling. You then rose, picking up your bag to put it on. “I’m gonna go to Mr. Tanners to reprimand him over bad choice in history study.” 

“But Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue in fourteen hundred ninety two, Y/N!” Luke exclaimed as you picked up the literature on Christopher Columbus’s voyages. 

“He also thought he ‘discovered’ India when he actually ‘discovered’ America,” you hummed annoyingly as you used one of your hands to curl your index and middle fingers when saying discovered. Luke chuckled, watching as you took your leave from the library. 

You were at the cherry tree once more. And this time, with a watch wrapped around your wrist. 

With your legs bend into a pretzel, you seated yourself on the soft grass. Right in front of you was the math textbook you were analyzing. It was open to a page that resided in the 200s with a sandwich on the page (courtesy of Alexis’ mother.) Your bag, in it’s sky blue glory, was sprawled just above the textbook, unzipped and still. Then, in your hands, were the notes of the day. There were only 4, but each one held words of sentiment that made you just a little happy. Just a little. 

Note 1: You look so beautiful today. You were practically radiating. I’ve never seen you smile so much before until now. 

Note 2: I honestly hope it were by my words. Not because I think you have low self-esteem, but because I like seeing your smile. Your lips are perfect, I want to see it to everything. 

Note 3: Stretching out a smile so much that it hurts your cheeks. I want to see them be parted slightly from shocked expressions. I want to see them pucker up together to make mockery of the duck face. I want to see you touch them being touched by your fingers when you read or trapped in some sort of thought. 

You smiled widely at the way your stalker tried so hard to make all his words fit into one piece of paper. His letters were more put in order rather than the messy, barely-legible handwriting he owned. His words were stretched longer by length and shrunk in size in order to fit his words of sentiment. And you honestly appreciated it. 

Note 4: I’ll start telling you stuff about me that not many know. I really adore penguins, I think they’re the cutest, flightless birds ever. Okay, so now that I’ve told you something about me, do you mind telling me something about you? Something I wouldn’t expect?

You smiled widely at this. This boy enjoyed the penguin, even though it was flightless. It really gave you an idea about this boy. He must be someone who doesn’t care if someone lacks in something vital that supposedly labels them. A penguin can be flightless, but they don’t lack in being fantastic caretakers and clever hunters. It made you further your curiosity over this stalker. 

You stuffed the notes in your pocket before looking up at the tangling piece of paper hung from the branch. You got yourself on your feet, feeling grass get stuck on the back of your thighs due to the jean shorts you wore for the day. While you used your hands to brush the green flecks off, you walked towards the note and cautiously opened it. On the top of one of the bends, it read: You can also request anything you’d like that isn’t revealing my identity. 

You thought a lot as you held the note, yanking it kindly to get the sharpie down to the grass. You bent down to pick it up, straightening up once more to hold the note. You nibbled at your lower lip kindly, glancing down at your watch to be weary of the time. You then realized what you wanted but wanted to give away something more personal. Something that would maybe push him to be more personal as well. 

I am a very sad person, stalker dude. I won’t tell you the reason just yet (if we’re lucky enough for a yet) but I will admit that your singing makes me smile. Nobody has ever sung a song to me before, even if it wasn’t to convey feelings for me like a cheesy romance flick. So instead of me coming to the tree tomorrow, maybe you can sing during my English class. Like before.

You had mentally thanked this boy for providing you with one of those thin sharpies, because you hadn’t realized how much you wrote. You subconsciously wrote small due to lack of space. Placing the sharpie on the ground, you lifted your wrist to check the watch. 

Oh fuck! You were urgent to stuff all of your things and put them in the bag, keeping the sandwich in your hand. You began dashing away from the tree, finding Des back at the school ground with an unfamiliar face. And although it was a bit blurry, you can tell Des was fuming as she glared at the boy. 

As you began slower and noticed your pace gaining progress, you noticed this boy was far taller than Des. But then again, who isn’t? His head of hair was chestnut, and in the sun it looks like a lovely kind orange, like one of the inside bark of a tree. His eyes were not too easy to see, but they were a generic set of blue eyes, one incomparable to, for example, Lukes. He was handsome, you give the boy that much, with his simple sharp nose and salmon-colored lips. 

“If you’re annoying my friend, you really should back off now,” you said simply, panting to regain your breath. You dusted yourself off a bit, unsure if you had any more bits of grass stuck on you. “I’m not in the mood to use so much energy on an entity like yourself.” 

“Calm down, Y/N, I haven’t been harassing your girlfriend here,” the boy joked, having you roll your eyes. Des shoved him a bit, receiving more laughter from him as she folded her arms and glared at him. 

“I’m not her girlfriend,” Des muttered, having you smirk at her baby-like behavior. “I ain’t gay–” 

“And dating is a lot of energy,” you continued for her, having Des shove you playfully in response. The boy looked down at the both of you, slightly nodding. “Anyhow, how do you know my name? Have we met before?” 

“Seriously, Y/N?” The boy said, his cheeks developing in pink as he looked down at you. “Y/N, we’ve literally had all the same classes in freshman year. We sat right next to each other that entire year.” You then realized and parted your lips slightly. 

“Oh, Holland,” you began, addressing him by his last name. “Nathan Holland, right?” 

“Right,” Nathan nodded, his blue eyes softening over the fact that you recalled his name. “It’s been a while, no? 3 years in the same school and we haven’t interacted since. How unfortunate, yeah?” 

“It’s not my job to keep up with people I know little to nothing about and can’t be asked to care about,” you said simply as you turned and began walking for the door. “It’s your fault for not trying then, if it personally affects you.” 

“As cold as ever I see,” Nathan attempted with a chuckle, having you blatantly ignore his words as Des clung to your side. Her arm wrapped around yours, having you watch as she glanced back at Nathan following us. “So what’s the deal with you and that tree, Y/N?” 

“Do you ever shut the fuck up, Nathan?” Des growled, rolling her eyes in annoyance as she walked you to your classroom. Luckily the halls were still a bit crowded, so you knew you weren’t going to be late. No required rush. You were just a few feet from the doorway of your Anatomy class until the infamous blonde asshole blocked your access. 

“Seriously,” you muttered with a sigh, looking up as Luke gave you a suggestive grin. He looked over at Des and gave her a wave, in which she rolled her eyes but smiled at his stupid, smug look. But then his ocean eyes darkened like a storm when he rose them up to the other tall, lanky boy behind you. 

“Lucas! Buddy! How you doin’?” Nathan played off, a wide smile painted on his lips to flaunt his white teeth. But when you looked at Luke, he was practically fuming. His lips pursed into a straight line, his jawline clenching in disturbance as he stared at the boy offering his hand for a handshake. “Okay then,” Nathan uttered awkwardly, clenching his hand into a fist before dropping it. 

“Go away.” You were a little shocked to hear the cool, super chill Luke Hemmings telling someone to go away. You always figured that guy got along with everyone (and he does). But this one character must be his limit. But why? 

“Calm down, Hemmings. I haven’t made any moves yet,” Nathan began, having Luke scoff before Nathan allowed himself to tilt his head down to you. “It’s nice to finally meet your eyes again, Y/N. See you around?” 

“I suppose,” you responded nonchalantly. With that, Nathan gave you a wink before giving Des and Luke a mere wave. He turned and took his leave, shoving his hands in his pockets before losing himself in the midst of fellow classmates. 

“See you later, babes?” Des caught your attention, nodding at her with a smile before watching her disappear, too. You then turned to see Luke now leaning on one side of the door frame. You walked in, rolling your eyes at the annoying boy as you took your seat. 

“What’s with the attitude?” You asked Luke, audible enough while he trailed you and took his seat beside you. He piled his arms together before lying his head in his arms once more. “Are you hungry again? So much so that you own an attitude?” 

“‘You’re not you when you’re hungry,’“ Luke joked, giving you his usual smile as he closed his eyes. You looked back down at your hands, seeing the two hold onto the plastic-sealed sandwich. You threw it at him, listening as the food slapped his cheek. He sat up and took the wrapped sandwich in his hand. He studied it curiously before looking over to you.

“It’s a homemade BLT, relax,” you said simply, retrieving your materials from your bag as Ms. Lee entered the classroom. You prepared your pens and pencils, with the Bic pen you had stolen only days ago. As you prepare your fresh, new page for notes, you glance over to watch Luke eat the sandwich graciously. He loved it, not even dare hesitating to eat where you left your bites. Luke was hungry, that was evident, but he also ate with some sort of thought. He kept a smile on his face as he did, as if the sandwich was the greatest thing he’s ever had. 

Whether it was because you had gifted it to him or not was beyond you, but for some odd reason, you felt slightly happy that Luke had been eating it contently. 

ahhh im back at it again! please lemme know whatcha think right over here and ill see ya in chapter 5 xx

#Luke Hemmings #Luke Hemmings 5sos #Luke Hemmings 5sauce #Luke Hemmings 5 seconds of summer #Luke Hemming imagine #Luke Hemmings imagine #Luke Hemmings imagines #Luke Hemmings story #Luke Hemmings love story #Luke Hemmings series #Luke Hemmings fluff #Luke Hemmings love #Luke #Luke 5sos #Luke 5sauce #Luke 5 seconds of summer #Luke imagine #Luke imagines #Luke series #Luke love #Luke fluff #5sos #5sauce #5 seconds of summer #5sos imagine #5sos imagines #5sos series #5sos fluff #5sos stories #5sos love stories

[calvinlepesh]

Interpret how u please but know it saved my mind and soul.

SUMMARYWe have primitive speech in comparison to aliens/ superior being/s/ {Our God self]DONT FUCKING READ THIS IF U ARENT OPEN MINDED! DEADASS FUCKING SERIOUS UR GONNA MISS OUT.to become open minded you must have some form of empathy. Some form meaning you must have to have either the almost perfect understanding empathy based on your ability to place yourself in somebody elses position along with all of their past tramas, what they just fucking ate, basically whatever relevant to the situation apparent or not. I.E do I help this guy for gas hes asking the clerk hes begging he says hes got no money has to get home to his family. seems like a good dude. not making a fuss. being very nice about it. I paid for his fucking gas. Thats good energy right there. sent away and returned in ways that probably already occured but I don't reconize them as a direct result from helping. If you did what you thought was right or whatever you wanted to do actually. Which is what you're going to do anyways cause thats what you fucking decieded you wanted yourself to do. So if this doesn't hit you like it hits most people and myself included. Then just close the book and call me insane. If being insane is living content in my beliefs and my tommorow during the today but with passion for the future. then im fucking insane. Because thats what my program has done for me Truly search for good and if it isn't what you want to spend your time trying to help or doesnt concern you. You weren't meant to be concerened by it and thats okay because it will concern someone else at the right time. etc considered and making a choice based off of critical information secured from a display of empathy. If you cant show empathy practice please fucking practice before you continue reading. Actually idgaf you do you. Your life do what you desire.Speech is used to manifest things into reality of time. Typically faster if done consistently. Tested and proved. By many. My barber for example. little over 7 months ago living in a 1 bed room dumb girlfriend cat and hes cutting hair in his kitchen. The entire time throughout the year  hes telling me about this house hes getting his own very first house brand fucking new completely taylored to him. He told me saying Lep yeah my mom is helping me buy a house and get my career moving finally. After long periods of being told to basically fuck off his mom basically has a change of heart randomly. Hes got a 3 bedroom house. A barber room with checkered floot. 3 tvs niceass fucking interior furniture hes painting the house and has done many renovations over the last few months of him having this house. Just returning there earlier tonight actually I had walked in and had to check if he changed the paint in his front room again! Truly He doesn't even realize it completely. Hes almost so dumb hes smart. in a sense that being happy is being smart. He isn't stupid tho. My barber is on some of the same shit I am. Some. thats a different story tho. The point is he talked to me everytime he cut my hair for 6 month. Not just me I know for certain. He would talk motherfuckers ears off im sure they hated it. Honestly I hadn't been enlightened at this point. I fucking hated it. OMg yeah we fucking get it bro u want checkered floors. So many motherfuckers are talking nowadays. But do they always talk the same shiteveryday? Ill say it again. Do you talk about the same thing everysingle day? Do you talk to someone every single day? I don' t even have to ask what or why you do it. You're doing it because you have the desire of the company of that person. or their opinion, Whatever they have of value or beneficially or mutually beneficially to you or both. My barber talked about all the cool shit he was gonna do with his house. Having a pit bike track in the back. making a fire bit. building a deck. Making a TV back drop out of stained wood stained nailed and cut by him and I. Painted the entire house. CHECKERED FLOORS MOTHERFUCKERS. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO is MANIFEST IT IN YOUR LIFE. The sooner you start talking about and creating this lifestyle and figuring out how you're going to do it one day at a time. Talk to the person ur nervous to talk to. If they fall in love with you. THATS FUCKING KICKASS. if he thinks u dont belong in his universe right now understand thats a huge fucking positive in your life. Now you can live in this moment in time and know in this moment in time that it isn't happening because if it isn't meant to happen yet if at all. For all you know you could meet  him in 5 years and get married have 3 kids live happily ever after. Straight the fuck up! Right now im consistently talking to a girl i had the hugest crush on but never did anything about it. WHY DIDN'T I DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. CAUSE HOW FUCKING AWKWARD WOULD IT HAVE BEEN in minnesota when im visiiting and havent been home for christmas in 5 years that we just so happen to go get breakfest at a taveren like wtf? and its where she works serving. Top it off while we are walking in I see the sign of the place and reconize it from an instagram post that she posted and I had liked and inturn she liked my picture. whatever not important. all im trying to say is the future is 100% unpredictable in every sense. but at the same time it will be 100% guarenteed with my mindset program if applied properly. You never know tomorrow and that may scare you but what if you already had chosen what happens tomorrow long before anything existed? Do you trust your own judgement? The best part is you dont even have to trust your own judgement. YOU DONT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING YOU DONT WANT TO DO. But sometimes doing them is what you're meant to do typically for your benefit anyways, if not its a punishment, and if it isn't your benefit its somebody elses and they may or may not know that you're the direct cause. you may or may not know ever. But I believe that when we die we are enlightened and are shown the purpose to life. whether a test or a simulation. multiple tests inside one another or something uncomprehensible to myself or anyone. But thats different. What I do know is that a key to a good life Is a good mindset. Choose the mindset of I'm the shit. Cause I am, Cause I decieded I am, Im good fucking looking, People may call you a slut or whore but honestly it may be disgusting a little bit but they're probably jealous of all the hot people you've been with. Or even the fact ur getting laid. most single people hate on girls anyway. aint no boy in a nice healthy relationship talking shit on females and if he is he probably likes u and is trying to hide it. anyways besides the point. You need to develop something you say to yourself {I recommend} outloud {especially for getting started} whether written or set as an alarm for your phone ur background to your phone it could be a picture with a completely hidden message behind it. just associate something or have something that has things you know deep down in your soul you need to say to yourself. For example for me, Ive always been sensitive, still am a lot less than I was alot, But over time After being outcasted from my family at 15 being legally kiddnapped, and broken down on all aspects of self with many failed although maybe not completely failed attempts at bettering myself to the way that works for normies or the purposefully chosen people to be uneducated of the power of speech. They were esentially taking me in at 15 with a metaphorical emotionally broken leg. { ie i hate myself and im a bad person i dont give a fuck and i just want to die cause i dont understand the world} that was my attitude ie the broken metaphorical leg that I came into the school but for the sake of this metaphor this hospital with. However pretend in our metaphor the break in my leg is un noticeable. if ur slow as fuck just know the broken leg is a metaphor for my fucked up thinking. The hospitol or treatment center/school I was at cant fix my leg without me telling them my leg is broken. Now they knew something is wrong or else I wouldnt be there. Many claim at that hospital upon recent arrival that there's been a mistake and they don't need to be there. many times I laughed with everyone else at group along with the director Parker. Parker I believe knows alot about this but would never share with the group for possiblities of the kids claiming they're being brain washed or told to believe such things without an adult or atleast enlightened soul and mind these practices may sound slightly lucritive. Anyway back to the story. Metaphorically I tried many times to dodge and weave around questions asked in therapy sometimes even hamming it up to seem cool because of how insecure I was. trying to seek acceptance from my therapist lmfao very dark times. Which got darker with small light at the end of the tunnel. Thats the thing about parker he never took away full hope and if he did he had a good reason for doing so. I completely trust his judgement even to this day. Lying to ur therapist or even if they think you're lying to your therapist which usually they're right. The only reason they were ever wrong with me lying was because the decision was made based on previous situations of past lies. Lied before you'll lie again? possibly. Anyway, the darkness brought upon u metaphorically and almost not was the wall/work crew. ADAYONTHEWALL In a way this is tramatic but it almost shouldnt be. It was trautic because I put myself there many times. Purposefully yes in a sense but not the living sense. I wanted to be the perfect student at Liahona. Be the leader everyone looked up to. Be the family fucking leader. But I literally just was to immature and weak in all aspects. Too much so to do any of those things. Now that I think back the beauty of it Is I did eventually get all of those things. Because I manifested them. I desired both with my words and the vibes my words created in my body that the universe recieved. My body had translated what I wrote in my daily evals every night at Liahona. I attended Liahona for 711 days. 9 Days short from 2 years. The program is 9 months long. Back to the main subject. The wall. 6 am wake the fuck up. HEADCOUUUUUNT!!!. Big ass motherfucking dude named Quando shouts it at the top of his lungs. LMFAO pretty funny to think but this guy would scare the shit out of new kids in the mornings. shouting out of their beds. I definitely woke up thats for sure. The whole facility of 50-60 boys come out of there room pretty much as fast as possible although groggily everyone dressed in the same navy blue shorts and grey liahona t-shit tucked into our gym shorts with either white black or grey solid socks. No designs or wild shit. All the rules at Liahona were created over the years it had transitioned from an old house to the facility to the newer facility. Everything from tuck in ur chair at all times to. turn off the lights when you leave a room. Hundred of rules probably around over a thousand actually. I hated it off the bat but what was I gonna do? anyway. After everyone lines up in a U- formation with quando standing in the open portion of the U. He would say the same things every morning. Almost as if he was designed to say the same or relatively the same thing. One thing was for sure the message was clear every morning. Go back to your rooms  Today is a new day its a beautiful day make your beds and start studying your quote or doing whatever you're aloud to do until you go for the morning run and breakfest. Now quado probably used a great deal more broken english being from the pacific islands one of em sorry dont actually know. anyways. we dismiss. or atleast. everybody else does. perusual here I am. I sit down in my LIFETIME costco chair sitting mere inches from the head of my twin mattress. I will now sit in this chair for the remainder of the day unless instructed or allowed otherwise. 6-7 morning shift arrives. Can't look away. I think to myself staring at the wall. The desire to look is bad but even the thought of having to write another 300 word essay although they've become easy now, pointless to get one for something so easily avoidable. putting my elbows on my knees I duck my head do as If to pretend im studying the quote (a passage of around 100 words- alot of fucking words that must be memorized in full word for word straight the fuck up and recited to either a very trusted upper level or staff member who will tell you when you mess up and must stop and either use one of 2 hints allowed by parker to figure out whatever word u forgot or fail and take a 300 word essay, However if the quote is failed to be passed off before friday then your points for that week will be cut into half basically prolonging your stay to an extent given points are used to determine not in full but definitely play a large part in even the opportunity of you being recommended to get your next level Ie the quote is very important, very difficult, and I fucking hated it so fucking much you have no idea, Fuck the fucking stupid fucking quote. Parker is smart for the fact that he knows theres got to be something that seems and may possibly be a punishment that is time consuming and benefits those who work harder and faster destroying room for socialism. Basically parker created the quote to see who the fuck is really trying and how hard. Based on when you pass off the quote, If you pass off the quote, and how long of the quote is and whats in the quote. Parker can determine your loyalty to the program and therefore your recovery) Sitting in my chair and ducking my head between my armpits I can finally look around in a small area on each side of my body without getting too ballsy. This is my entertainment for the remainder of the day. Besides playing with my hand/feet. Tapping my feet/hand. looking at the US map{ and sometimes if they put u on the other wall or farther down you got the south america map. To this day can name the south american countries for the most part in alphabetical order. Crazylol. I can do the states right now. anyways. } Eating Oats and water with 2 of the gnarliest fucking red delicious apples every fucking morning. YO WHERE DID U FIND THOSE FUCKING APPLES MARK AND WHOEVER THE FUCK SHOPPED? jesus christ. Still don't eat red delicious apples THERE NOT FUCKING delicious. liars anyway. Before that when morning shift arrives typically shortly after if not immediately after their arrival we do another headcount. Of course yelled much less.... whats the word.... manly lol. Derek had the lamest headcount call. His unenthusiastic Severous snape from harry potter like almost moan like noise. anyways fuck u derek. Derek would take us to get our shoes, at both the new and old facility there are shoe closets that contain every students single pair of running shoes. The new facility also has our never to be touched til we leave or go on a visit personal items. After getting our shoes on. We went outside. line up on the concrete basket ball court in 5 lines spanning accross the entire court each student assigned to a 'family' upon arrival in no paticular order I hope but idk. Usually it was the one with the lowest amount of students but some family leaders would try to boost by trying to speak with newer students asap and within the rules. Communication of any kind with any student not directly monitored without being directly told otherwise is strictly forbidden. No form of communication head bobs nods winks smiles smirks laughs even eye contact for long periods of time. Although of course these rules were broken many times over the course of my stay. I definitely stopped talking to kids. Literally it taught me and im kinda glad it did it taught me to not ask my peers but elder people with wisdom and knowledge for help. However in therapy groups they allow us to communicate freely with the presnence of the therapist who was 1 of two therapists. However he would quickly correct any advice given from a student to a student to not only teach us the correct way to solve whatever issue being discussed  or shared. but almost in a way indirectly teaching you that experience and age are similar but not the same and to seek those that give the best advice and help the most which tend to be the people u want anyways. I did learn many many many many useful things that I still use today from Liahona. Because of going im now 1000x ahead of an average person my age. Given my experiences and newly found and enlightened self. Given to me when I was ready to give it to myself. When I learned I control this reality with how I feel. And I tend to feel how I talk. Because my talk conveys my emotion. Talk good feel good do good deserve good. Lined up on the basketball court right my bad Im side tracked for the millionth time. gimme a break lol anyways. We line up in  5 columns of anywhere from 10 to 13 students typically ten atleast. 50 jumping jacks Go!" 1..2..3..4..5..6..7- ......49..50.  50 laps chop it up. At 8 laps a mile  50 laps was common but not that common. For awhile it was daily. All of our days depended on how all of us acted as a whole. If one person tried to run and doesnt succeed obvisouly never have never will. Everybody goes on lock down. No talking no moving everybody sits  in a circle. study a gigantic quote for that week cause homeboy tried running. or whatever the case is. Basically if you dont pull your weight somebody else has to and that weight is only their cause you are inturn now they hate u lol. Definitely was unlike for a vast majority by the vast majority however luckily in the end all works out as does all things in this universe in my world or currently my world.story sorry again 50 pushups now in unicen aswell 123-49-50 Then he tells us to go run and sometimes he'll tell u how many laps and sometimes hed tell u when you get to his standing spot at the finish line after your first lap. He does this to guage how and when certain students put in more effort. Shorter run? more harder runners? longer run? Whos putting in effort regardless of circumstance ie whats going on in ur life. Ie how many laps you got How are you moving before you know what your next move is. Are you jogging that first lap until derek tells you to save your breath cause you're banking on it being a longer run. Have you been running slow for 3 laps but the run was only 8 today so ur wasting ur time being lazy. Derek would see when you would run hard. who made u run harder cause u wanted to beat them. how many laps does it have to be minimum to run on the first lap. Whos running hard the first lap regardless of circumstance. They could tell who you were and what you could offer before you even knew anything about any of that. Because honestly you didnt give a fuck about trying before. atleast I didn't. I soon did. Over those 711 days I ran 95 percent of the week day mornings. was in niceass shape too for 17. weekends we got off thankf uckign god. After the blisters heal and you get calices on ur feet from running in the beginning being a new student it sucks alot don't get me wrong and it'll suck for awhile but you'll eventually learn to adapt and conquer by anymeans. I quit after 6 laps my first run. Not even a mile. sat down said I needed my inhaler. I didn't even have one.