#yes these are just my chem lyrics

[dibdiller]

Against faith (antihero)

Against all odds (as if it must be pure)

Against change (we wander through the ruins)

We are free (the guiltiness is yours)

#yes these are just my chem lyrics #they resonate with me #lyrics #music #mcr

[backseatloversz]

awsten knight is ONE (1) degree of separation from Pete Wentz btw. through like three different people. that IM aware of im sure theres more. pete wentz knows of him and his lame band SURELY. Does pete wentz know about the pete wentz waterparks lyric? has he heard the pete wentz waterparks lyric what does he think of the audacity of the pete wentz waterparks lyric. the people need to know the people deserve to know

#person 1 ofcourse being mikeyway awsten knight is bestfriends with mikeyway and waterparks was an opener for my chem and Turbulent the #waterparks song with The Pete Wentz lyric was a part of their setlist apparently. #persons 2 and 3 are the front women for this newer band daisy grenade that just finished touring w waterparks as their opener. their #connection to pete wentz is hes their mentor fucking apparently. for the life of me i cannot figure out HOW they met him #or how he found them but alright i guess. #1 of their songs was based on something he wrote in 2010 then gave to them so! you know. what ever #can i get..........industry plant for 500 #like YES their music is good. YES having pete wentz helping them out is def a massive leg up LMAO #cowboy posts

[themostfangtastic]

green fur. blue skin. and the very silly way you grin.

big fangs. small chin. there are so many special things about you.

(things about you things about you)

#yes this is every snowflake is different just like you lyrics whatcha gonna do about it #it means so much to me #hopefully this makes someone’s day better idk man #mcr #my chem #my chemical romance #every snowflake is different (just like you) #yo gabba gabba #positive

[spookysofi]

serious inquiry for the killjoys of tumblr: is the line “city lights are hopeless for you” in any song other than We Don’t Need Another Song About California?? do any lyrics in that song appear in any other songs?? bc I could’ve sworn but I might be wrong bc I cannot find it anywhere else please help

#am I being dumb you can say yes #i just wanna know bc I could’ve SWORN some lyrics in that song repeat elsewhere #help please #mcr #my chem #my chemical romance #danger days #killjoys

[escxelle]

i'm convinced sleep token are stem girlies because the amount of physics, maths and chemistry in their lyrics hmmm. lemme list all the references below the cut <3 (just as an fyi: this is a joke and i'm not being serious!! i'm just pointing out all the science references in their songs, dw)

alright, bit of a stretch to start but: "sulfur on your breath, granite in my chest." - granite from take me back to eden (2023). sulfur obviously being an element and granite is a rock (i'm not a chem student, i do astrophysics sorry idk anything else skdjsjd)

i'm being really picky but like "these days i'm a circuit board, integrated hardware you cannot afford." - aqua regia from take me back to eden (2023). vessel is an engineering girlie!! /j also i could point out the latin title is a mixture of nitric acid and hydrochloric acid sooo

still in aqua regia, we have "sugar on the blood cells, carbon on the brain." mhm, speak stem girlie!

aqua regia is full of stem textbooks: "oxytocin running in the ether. silicon ballrooms. subatomic interactions if it's all good. gold rush, acid flux. saturate me, i can't get enough. cold love, hot blood." so the debrief: oxytocin is a hormone. ether are a class of compounds. the rest i think is self-explanatory, as they're elements and cute little stem terms oxox

i love stretching. "your viscera welcome me in." - vore from take me back to eden (2023). viscera are the large organs inside the body, including the heart, stomach, lungs, and intestines. biology girlies!! /j

more stretching <3 "who encrypted your dark gospel in body language? synapses snap back in blissful anguish." - ascensionism from take me back to eden (2023). encryption is the process of encoding information!! a computer science girlie!! then synapses are the places where neurons connect and communicate with each other <3

"half algorithm, half deity. glitches in the code or gaps in a strange dream." who ate a programming textbook?! /j

"digital demons make the night feel heavenly." side note but i think we should start calling trolls digital demons.

"lipstick, chemtrails, red flags, pink nails." has someone maybe studied chemtrails in their chemistry classes hmmm? /j

as i'm an astrophysics student i have to mention this: "the shifting states you follow me through." - the apparition from take me back to eden (2023). states, huh? liquid turning into a solid time is it? /j

"i feel my shadown dissolving." - rain from take me back to eden (2023). a metaphor or a chemistry textbook? /j

"it's that chemical cut that i can get down with." have many chemical cuts, huh?? /j

i'm an astrophysics girlie (gn) so i have to include this one: "a dangerous disposition somehow refracted in light, reflected in sound."

"i dream in phosphorescence." - take me back to eden from take me back to eden (2023). phosphorescence is a type of photoluminescence related to fluorescence. i mean, come on! the rest lyric? really?

"sink porcelain stained, choking up brain matter and make-up. just two days since the mainframe went down and i'm still messed up." biology and software engineering much? /j

"if my fate is a bad collision." - euclid from take me back to eden (2023). collision? huh are you a particle, hm? also euclid was a greek mathematician ! currently in my special relativity notes i have written "flat euclidean space"! riddle me that, sleep token. /j

"just orbiting the vacuum i am." - atlantic from this place will become your tomb (2021). yes, orbiting like the sun and moon and planets, right?? /j

"push down into membranes and layers, creating a slow dissection." - like that from this place will become your tomb (2021). yeah we get it, you're a biology student /j

"you lie an inch apart on your own continuum." - the love you want from this place will become your tomb (2021). continuum, huh?

"and though echoing futures are the buckling sutures." - fall for me from this place will become your tomb (2021). i bet you've seen many sutures huh dr. vessel! /j

right prepare for a lot of references here folks. "she's not acid nor alkaline." - alkaline from this place will become your tomb (2021). do i really have to explain the actions of this chem girlie? /j

"ooh, let's talk about chemistry 'cause i'm dying to melt through to the heart of her molecules 'til the particles part like holy water. if anything, she's an undiscovered element." i'm sure you'd love to infodump about your favourite subject! /j

"'cause i am broken into fractions." - distraction from this place will become your tomb (2021). i bet you deal with fractions all the time, you maths nerd!! /j

"and we go beyond the farthest reaches where the light bends and wraps beneath us and i know as you collapse into me." - telomeres from this place will become your tomb (2021). light bending? how very relativity of you. also telomeres are structures made from DNA sequences and proteins found at the ends of chromosomes.

"and i choke myself on sacred vapour." - high water from this place will become your tomb (2021). vapour because it's changed state, right? /j

"keep up on the charm offensive anymore." - missing limbs from this place will become your tomb (2021). i'm doing particle physics right now so i know exactly what a charm quark is! also limbs??? hello again dr. vessel /j

"'cause i look for scarlet and you look for ultraviolet." - higher from sundowning (2019). using ultraviolet filters for your astrophotography are you?? /j

"let the impulse to love and the instinct to kill entangle to one." - say that you will from sundowning (2019). entangle? entanglement? quantum entanglement? i'm connecting the dots.

"i want to roll the numbers. i want to feel my stars align again even if the earth breaks like burnt skin." - blood sport from sundowning (2019). an astrophysics fr /j

"and somewhere, somewhere the atoms stopped fusing." more stem!

"and out there, stuck in a quantum pattern, tangled with what i never said." this is something a theoretical physicist would say is all i'm saying. /j

now you have to listen to sleep token to hear these bangers >:)

#i've been obsessively listening to nothing but st for like a straight week #the brain rot got to me okay #sleep token #elle's interests hyperfixiations and shenanigans #escxelle

[seungminsbaldspot]

Fake it Till you make it

Pairing:  Jisung  x Reader

Prompt 10: Opposites attract when two characters pretend to be dating and fall in love​​

Word Count:  4153 WORDS OH MY GAWD?

Genre: well its fake dating so angst/comfort maybe???

Spoiler:  “Annddd that’s how your father faked his way into my life.” 

Warnings: She/her pronouns, cursing, cheating Minho, toxic Minho, minho is just a bad guy, Jisung is just a loud but lovable college guy trying to make the most of life, mentions of sex (minho is cheating ofc), jisung loves the f word, small mention of a cut/blood, fighting, lowkey a slow burn but also not really but also sort of a slow burn; also i would like to say it’s sort of proofread but also not really so

Notes: every now and then i remember that jisung has me in a chokehold 

Han Jisung was certainly a character. He was loud and reckless, many would call him the “class clown.” But to you, he was just your crush’s best friend. Yes, unfortunately, you had fallen for the one and only, Lee Minho. 

You had one Chem Lab with Minho, and decided that he was the perfect man for you. He was handsome, witty, and smart. Plus he seemed to be kind to everyone, so that was just the icing on the cake for you. 

Luckily for you, your professor assigned the lab partners, and you were partnered up with Minho. Unbeknownst to you, this simple arrangement of partnership will change your life. 

Having Minho as your lab partner meant that You two would be spending loads of time together. And unfortunately for you, Minho loved being inside his apartment near campus. Every time you two would need to do some extra work, Minho would suggest going over to his apartment. His apartment was only a ten-minute walk from campus, but you knew who also resided there, Han Jisung. 

Jisung and Minho are the best of friends, they know each other like the back of their own hand, but they are truly opposites. Minho was more collected and Jisung was, well, everywhere. Jisung was the wilder of the two, he went to tons of parties back then, and he was always at a party. 

But he was also always there at the apartment when you were there. It’s not like you hated Jiisung per se, but his energy and your energy never matched. When you and Minho would be in the living room, finishing up a post-lab assignment, you could hear Jisung in his own room, playing the drums or sometimes belting out random song lyrics. Minho would only shake his head and apologize for his roommate’s behavior, but he always smirked when he apologized. It really gave you mixed signals back then, But you would soon find out what kind of man Minho actually was.  

During the time of the chemistry class, Minho gave you his phone number, so you and him could properly communicate about chemistry projects, but after the class was over, and you two both passed, Minho would still message you. Back then, you could only think about how lucky you were to have THE Lee Minho texting you in HIS free time. Minho would invite you out to lunch, to study sessions, or just to hang out. But as usual, you would somehow end up at Minho and Jisung’s shared apartment. Every time he would invite you out to his apartment, he would smirk, knowing that Jisung’s loud nature made you uncomfortable. 

Even though you never liked spending time at their shared apartment, you still fell harder for Minho, and he knew it. He knew that you liked him, and every time he would invite you out to his apartment, he knew you wouldn’t say no, even though being around Jisung’s loud nature made you uncomfortable. 

Minho would continue to take you on dates, but never asking you to be his girlfriend. On one occasion, he accidentally spilled a drink on you, and on another, he seemed more interested in his phone than in the conversation. But, at the time, you didn’t mind it, you were still spending time with Minho. Minho would often make dates with you, and you would meet up at his shared apartment, so going to the apartment for a date was not out of character. 

Minho texted you to meet at his apartment at 3:15, so you arrived at his door at 3 on the dot. Minho always liked to be on time, so when he said 3:15, he meant that he wanted to leave at 3:15, therefore you needed to be there at 3. It’s just the way Minho was, well still is. 

When you arrived at the door, you knocked twice. You always knocked twice. However, there was no answer. You put your hand on the door handle, just to check if it was locked, as sometimes Minho would leave the door unlocked if he knew you were coming over. And the door was unlocked, so you walked inside, everything was normal until you heard them. 

You heard Minho’s moans, the skin-to-skin smacking that resonated throughout the apartment. You felt your heart drop to your stomach. It’s not that Minho and you were dating, but you thought he liked you. And you thought you liked him. 

Interrupting your thoughts, you heard a few final, louder, moans. You went into autopilot and went into the first room that you could quickly hide in. Once inside the room, you shut the door, as silently as you could. You move out of the way from the door, covering your mouth, trying to hold the sobs in. You slide down the wall, trying to even your breath. He wasn’t even your boyfriend, so why are you upset?  

You could hear their hushed voices as they exited the apartment. Still, you didn’t dare to move. You could hear the front door open again and fast-paced footsteps came closer and closer to you. The door to the room you were hiding in swings open and enters a happily humming Han Jisung. When his eyes met your teary ones, he almost dropped his bags. He quickly set down his bags and rushed over to you, crouching down to you. 

“What happened?” He asked, looking you over for any immediate signs of harm. You shook your head. “Uhhh Okay well Um.. Why are you crying?” He asked meekly, almost unsure to ask any questions. You let out a pitiful sob, “Minho.” With that one word, it was like he understood everything. 

Well, Jisung was Minho’s best friend and his roommate. And if you could hear the two of them in Minho’s room, you couldn’t even imagine what Jisung had to go through. 

“He’s an asshole. Really. I mean He gets into all these girls’s pants all the time..” He trailed off, looking up at you, he stopped talking when he saw the tears flow down your face. “Ah, Shit. Okay, How about this? Me and you,” He gestured to himself and then you, “Fake Date!” He clapped, his smile almost lighting up the whole room. You jumped a little when he clapped, not expecting him to be this loud. His eyes widened, “Oh shit! I’m sorry! I’m just used to being loud.” He said, looking away. You shook your head, “No, you’re fine.” You said. 

Jisung's proposition hung in the air, his eyes still reflecting genuine concern for your well-being. The unexpected nature of his suggestion caught you off guard, and you couldn’t help but crack a small smile at his enthusiasm, despite the circumstances.

"Fake dating, huh?" you said, wiping away a few tears. "That's a pretty unconventional solution, Jisung."

He grinned, looking somewhat proud of his idea. "Well, unconventional times call for unconventional measures. Plus, it's the perfect way to show Minho he can’t go around manipulating every girl he comes across into fucking them."

As you considered the proposal, you couldn’t deny the appeal of the idea. It could perhaps send a message to Minho. However, the intricacies of faking a relationship, even temporarily, are not lost on you.

"How would that even work?" you asked, genuinely curious about the details of Jisung's plan.

Jisung leaned back, scratching his head. "Well, we just act like a couple—hold hands, share a few laughs, maybe even a fake kiss here and there. Make it convincing enough, and hopefully, Minho gets the message that he can't fuck around with every girl he comes in contact with."

You sighed, “Alright.” 

Jisung's eyes lit up, and he clapped his hands together. "Great! We'll make this so convincing that Minho won’t know what the hell is happening!"

The two of you begin to brainstorm ways to make the fake relationship appear authentic. Jisung suggests casual touches, sweet gestures, and spending more time together in public. The plan took shape, and you found yourself surprisingly committed to the act if only to put an end to Minho's fuck-boy behavior. 

After a few hours of brainstorming,  you both decided that you would spend the night, starting the fake relationship as soon as possible. Jisung lent you his baggy night shirt and some shorts, as you were dressed for a date night when you arrived at the apartment. 

That morning, when Jisung had woken you up, “I hear Minho in the kitchen.”He had said.  His expression was a mix of determination and readiness for the charade you're about to embark on. The plan was in motion, and you couldn’t help but feel a mix of nervousness and anticipation.

You nodded, “Starting already?” You asked, causing Jisung to giggle, “Of course we are! He’s most sensitive in the mornings!” He said, rushing you out of bed.

 As you followed Jisung out of the room, you couldnt help but wonder how convincing this act would be and what kind of reaction you’d elicit from Minho.

In the kitchen, Minho glanced up from his breakfast preparation, a curious look in his eyes as he noticed your presence. Jisung put on a charming smile and gestures between the two of you."Morning, Minho! Guess what? Y/N stayed over last night," Jisung announced with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. Minho's eyebrows shot up in surprise, and he looked between you and Jisung. "Oh, really? That’s Unexpected. What's the occasion?"

You exchanged a glance with Jisung, both of you ready to play your parts in this charade. “Well since you didn’t answer my text last night for our hang out, Jisung and I decided to have a ‘stay at home’ date night!” You met Minho's gaze with a practiced smile, feigning nonchalance. , "We figured why waste a perfectly good night, right?" You let out a soft laugh, hoping it sounds convincing. Jisung chimed in, "Exactly! We watched movies, ordered some food, you know, the usual cozy night in."

Minho's expression shifted, a mix of surprise and curiosity still lingering. "Huh, I didn't know you two were that close." You nod, subtly intertwining your fingers with Jisung's, a move you'd agreed upon earlier. "Well, sometimes unexpected things happen, and you just go with the flow, right?"

Jisung gave  Minho a playful nudge. "Come on, Minho, you should've joined us. It was a blast!" Minho chuckles nervously, his eyes darting between the two of you. "Yeah, maybe next time." Jisung laughs, “Oh Come On! You’re always with one of your weekly girls. It wouldn’t hurt to be with your friend and his girlfriend for a while!” Minho shook his head, “Yeah, I’m just a little busy currently.” He brushed off Jisung’s offer. Jisung shrugged, “Whatever man.” 

As the breakfast preparations continued, you and Jisung maintained the act, exchanging glances and subtle touches. It's a delicate dance, and the success of this ruse depends on how well you can convince Minho that there's more to your relationship than meets the eye.

The weeks pass, and the facade of your fake relationship with Jisung continues. The charade becomes more convincing with each passing day, and you find yourself caught in the whirlwind of emotions that accompany the act. Jisung's thoughtful gestures and genuine kindness start to blur the lines between reality and fiction.

As you would go on these "fake" dates, you couldnt help but compare Jisung's behavior to Minho's. The difference between the two was like fire and ice. Jisung's consideration and warmth stand in stark contrast to Minho's self-centered actions. Jisung would hold the door open for you, whereas Minho would let you walk straight into the door and then slyly apologize. Jisung would buy you flowers and cute good-morning text messages. But then the realization dawns on you that maybe there's more to Jisung's plan than just fuck with Minho's advances.

You noticed the weariness in Jisung's eyes, the exhaustion that comes from living with someone whose lifestyle clashes so significantly with his own. His attempt to create a buffer, a shield from Minho's late-night fucks, becomes more apparent.

One evening, after returning from a l "date," Jisung breaks starts a conversation that would change your view on some things.

"I hope you know this isn't just about Minho," he says, his eyes focused on the road ahead. "I mean, it is, but it's also about finding some peace in my own home. I can't keep living like this." 

You knew that you both were earning something from this fake dating, but you never thought that you would see Jisung so emotional about Minho. 

“He’s my best friend you know? And I know that he has been doing this for months now, and It’s tearing me apart that he is going around fucking up girls and manipulating them. It makes me so pissed that he’s done this to a multitude of girls and that he’s done this to you.”   

You didn’t know what to tell him at the time, I mean Minho was using Jisung by living in his house, and you were using him to get back at Minho. You could only stay silent. 

A few days after that date, it was Minho’s birthday. Minho and Jisung were having a get-together with their friends at their apartment, little did you know at that time, this small gathering was going to change your life.  

As the roommate’s friends arrived, the apartment was filled with excitement, laughter, and the sound of glasses clinking. A sense of both celebration and anticipation permeated the air.

You keep up the illusion of your fake relationship with Jisung during the little get-together for Minho's birthday, acting as the supportive girlfriend. The party progresses, and the revelry heightens, but beneath the surface, an undercurrent of tension simmers.

As the night unfolded, you noticed Minho's attention lingering on you and Jisung. His eyes showed a hint of interest, perhaps even jealousy. ? 

Sometime during that night, you decided to step outside of the apartment, to have some alone time. Being around Jisung and Minho’s shared friends, really drained your social battery. You were out of the apartment no longer than five minutes, and you heard the sound of the door being opened and closed. Thinking it was one of Minho’s or Jisung’s friends leaving the party, you continued to mind your own business. 

That was until a hand grabbed your shoulder, turning you around, and then pushing you up against the wall. You winced at the impact of you being shoved against the wall, and when you opened your eyes, you were met went MInho’s dark and cold eyes.  “What the hell has been going on between you and Han?” He seethed out. You rolled your eyes, “What does it matter to you Minho? We weren’t together Minho.” He scoffed, slapping his hand on the wall beside you, “Like Hell, we weren’t. But you didn’t even like him! You couldnt stand him when we were fucking around! How can you just turn up one day and say you’re fucking with Han?” 

You sneered, “Minho if you don’t leave me the fuck alone, I swear to God that I will make SURE you will never be able to have sex again.” You uttered. “You-” Before he could continue, the front door swung open, Jisung rushing out of the door, barrelling towards You and Minho. 

Jisung pushes his whole body into Minho, taking the both of them to the floor. The two roommates struggled on the ground for a good minute, you could only stand there. You knew that getting in between the two would be a stupid decision, so you just stood there in shock. 

After what seemed to be hours (but were only seconds, your conception of time was severely warped back then), One of their friends, Chan, came running out the door, followed closely by Changbin, Chan hurrying to grab Minho, and Changbin struggling to catch Jisung.  Jisung and Minho struggle against the bigger, buffer men, still trying to get a hold of each other. Felix, another shared friend of theirs, comes towards, “What on earth happened out here?” He asked, worryingly. He kept glancing over at Chan and Changbin, who were still struggling to keep the two. You only shook your head. 

“He was going to fucking hit her! I saw it! I was watching out the window! I knew you didn’t like her! You just wanted to fuck with me- with her! You knew how I felt Minho! I can’t fucking believe you!” Jisung was yelling, that if they kept this up, the cops were going to be called. “Guys calm the fuck down. The cops are gonna get called. Now everyone shut the fuck up and go back inside.” Chan sternly gave out instructions, and somehow with his hushed voice, he got everyone to go inside. 

The group disperses to various corners of the living room. The atmosphere was strained by the events outside having left an uncomfortable vibe around all nine people inside the apartment. 

Felix, still visibly concerned, glances around the room. "Someone better start explaining what the hell just happened," Chan said.

Jisung, clearly still seething with anger, takes a moment before speaking. "I saw Minho, he was going to hit her. I couldn't let that happen."

Minho, on the other hand, shot a glare at Jisung, his face contorted with frustration. “Why the hell were you watching us? Minho clashed back, becoming visibly angry again. “Guys. Adults.” Chan reminded, Minho sighed, “I was only trying to talk to her.” Chan, and pretty much everyone in the room looked over to you, expecting you to explain. 

“I wouldn’t call  pinning me on the wall against my will as ‘talking’ but okay.” You shrugged, maybe that was a little too rude at the time, but who could blame you? You were still trying to process everything. 

“You knew how I felt Minho. You’re my fucking best friend. I fucking let you live in my house for fucks sake. Every time you would bring another girl home to fuck I tried my fucking best to leave the apartment, I fucking tried so fucking hard. Then you bring her around? KNOWING how I felt? Then you fucking hurt her? I didn’t know what to fucking do when I found her fucking sobbing her eyes out. My dumbass could only think of fucking fake ass dating. That shitty ass shit.” Jisung ranted, almost fully out of breath. 

Your eyes widen. You glanced around the room.  Chan sighed. “Alright, Minho why don’t you crash at my place tonight? We all need some space.” Chan announced, Minho only nodded, leaving to his room for a minute, and leaving with a bag along with Chan. Chan only waved everyone out, but when you tried to leave, Chan pulled you to the side. “You should probably stay. I think you and him need to talk.” Chan smiled at you, You only nodded. Talking felt too much like a chore.

You sat back down beside Jisung, throughout that whole ordeal of everyone gathering their belongings and leaving, Jisung never moved. In fact, he still had some blood on his face, a small cut he got from the scuffle with Minho nearly thirty minutes earlier. 

You two sat in complete silence for a moment. You sighed, “Your cheek is cut.” He hummed. “Want me to clean it?” He sighed but nodded. You knew that he kept a first-aid kit in the bathroom, because on one of your ‘dates’, the two of you attempted to make dinner, but ended up with you cutting your finger and Jisung burning the food.

You grabbed the kit, and then made your way back into the living room. Jisung was still slumped on the couch, his usual vibrant and full of energy far gone now. His eyes met yours as you cleaned the small cut on his cheek, he quickly looked away, his cheeks turning pink. As he’s looking away, you took the chance to really look at him. He was really handsome. The curve of his jaw, the lines of his face, the way his eyelashes flutter every time he blinks - just everything about him, was pretty. 

“I’m sorry for making things awkward.” He said, breaking the silence. Your eyebrows scrunched. “What are you talking about?” You put the little alcohol wipe on the first-aid kit and grab a band-aid, opening it and placing it on the small cut. He watched you as you placed the band-aid on, following your every move. 

“God it’s so embarrassing.” He said, reaching up to gently grab your wrists, keeping them in front of his face, he looked down, almost ashamed. “I gave you the idea of fake dating for my own selfish desires. I literally tackled my best friend because I thought he was hurting you.” He sighed, and then looked up at you, tears brimming his eyes, “I’m so fucking sorry.” Your heart squeezed in a way that it had never squeezed before. He squeezed your wrists, not in a painful way, but in a pleading way. He was pleading with you for your forgiveness.  

“Ji… Although what you did, was not the smartest-” You sort of laughed, “I know you were trying to help me. And yeah Minho was being a dick. I really don’t know what his deal is. Me and him never dated. I don’t know why he had his panties in a twist about us.” He looked up at you, You had messed up. You had said that like you were in a real relationship with Jisung.  

He smiled, “Us?” You blushed and looked at the floor, embarrassed beyond belief. “You know, I was so pissed when he brought you around. And when he was fu-” He trailed off, sucking in a breath, “When he brought that girl home on that day he was supposed to go with you on that date. And I found you… sobbing. I… I was so fucking pissed at him. You were crying so much, I just tried to make you feel better. I didn’t like to see you upset then and there’s no way in hell I will let you cry like that over a man ever again.” He finally stood up, standing as close to you as he possibly could, but not touching, not yet. 

“Could I hug you?” The tears that were pooling in your tear ducts, finally let out, You nodded. He lightly laughed, he wrapped his arms around you, “Why are you crying?” He looks over you, bringing a hand up, wiping your tears. You shake your head, wrapping your arms around him. The two of you hold each other for a few moments. 

He pulls away, looking at your face, “We’ve been fake dating for the past two and a half months, but I think I’ve loved you way before that.” You blushed, “Y/n will you be my for real girlfriend now?” You laughed, “Of course, I will be your real girlfriend now.” He smiles, “Would there be any way that I could get our first real hug and real kiss in one night?” You playfully slapped his arm, “I supposed so…” You joke, He grins, “Hell Yeah!”

He pulled you closer to him by your hips, almost shoving his face onto yours, gently taking your lips into his. Kissing you playfully yet gently, like you were going to disappear if he were to open his eyes. 

“Annddd that’s how your father faked his way into my life.” You say to your daughter. It was her wedding day, She’s in her beautiful wedding dress. She truly makes a wonderful bride. “Oh Mama… Your guy’s love story was so inappropriate!” She laughs, making you smile, “Well Honey you didn’t get here on your own” You smile, laughing at the dirtiness of your story, of course you spared a few details, but only a few… 

Jisung bursts into the bride’s room, “AWH MY DAUGHTER! ALL GROWN UP! GIVING HER AWAY?? WAHHHH!! HOW WILL I HANDLE THIS?? MY LOVE? WHAT ARE WE TO DO? OUR DAUGHTER!!” Jisung whines, shaking you by your shoulders and causing your daughter to laugh. “Dad! Come On!” He stops shaking you, softly looking at you, and then looking at his daughter. “My girls are so beautiful. I’m so glad I faked it till I made it.” 

Just to explain some things, Yes the whole story was past tense, and yes jisung liked you before the whole fake dating thing happened. ok goodbye, I love you thank you for reading

also notes, reblogs and feedback are always appreciated!

#han x reader #lee minho x reader #skz imagines #skz x reader #lee know #stray kids #han jisung #han jisung fluff #seungmin #skz #changbin #bang chan #han jisung x reader #han jisung icons #skz x you #skz x y/n #skz fluff #skz fanfic #kpop imagines #kpop fanfic #kpop #kpop boys

[sendmyresignation]

if you wanna indulge me, id love to hear your opinions on sing (all of mine are detractory which i know isnt the complete view of the song)

omg id love too!! sorry this took me a sec to formulate post-work haha. i know we don't agree about sing but honestly that's the beauty of music opinions- I feel like it becomes easier to define what I like about things when faced with legit measured criticism anyway

for me, i want to start with the structure and instrumental since it's usually not mentioned (most of the criticisms of sing are exclusively lyrical or intention-focused). it's so cool. and evocative. and full of tension!! my favorite use of synth on danger days, plus the keys and the drums (man i love the dd studio musician drums lmao), really emphasizes sing as a suspended moment both in the album (necessary bridge, tonally, between bulletproof and planetary imo) and in the track itself- its alllll building up to that bridge and final chorus. but there's all these little pieces- the backing vocals, there's so many hidden guitar parts that riff just under all the noise, that opening like, tambourine. sorry for not having a quote on hand but Ray's said he really loved writing sing and it's so totally obvious to me. especially live- part of the reason I was soooooo excited for sing swarm tour edition is that even during dd ray was like absolutely shredding for sing after the bridge. and everytime time it's so good. part of the reason the lyrics don't bother me is sing could stand alone instrumentally and I'd still want to listen to it. (sing also reminds me of Ray's solo music- the sentiment is more significant that the lyrics and the music is itself a vehicle for storytelling)

also though, i think there's a lot of intention with sing (it's up to the listener to determine if that paid off obv) but within the context of dd the record as a pirate radio station, sing has always read as a trojan horse song. making it a single too, like once a song takes on a life of its own outside the record there's new meaning and circumstance. so both within and outside the killjoy universe sing is a vehicle for not just the bridge but the overall sentiment of dd (how fucking excited was gerard when glenn beck took the glee bait) like, yes, i do agree they could've benefited from another pass over the lyrics (i will always defend keeping "sing it till your nuts" bc its sounds like sing it to your nuts though) but I don't personally get the criticism that sing isn't "specific enough" about what exactly it's against or is too optimistic about "sing it for the world"-- i think there are songs on the album (notably planetary right after it!) which do that job just fine. dd is gerard in arguably top lyrical form so theres a lot of meat in the rest of the record like. sing it for the world is a purposely simplistic art is the weapon. like those are the same sentiments rendered very differently!

also like. i do think there was a very directed target at the younger part of their fan base here (girl/boy) which is sweet. to me. like i did hear sing first when i was a young teen (one of the few dd songs i was familiar with) and it did feel huge and empowering at that moment. my chem are their best when they are navigating the dualities of their specific fame, which includes simultaneously making very serious, adult rock music which is concerned with violence death grief and sex, as well as being a role model for younger people and taking them seriously and neither of these are in rhetorical conflict with each other. so like whatever sing is a little juvenile. but it's still filled with passion! taken as a legitimate project with a creative instrumental and a narratively-driven music video. I like that aspect, it works for me. I'll never call it my favorite my chem song but its certainly not the worst when you add in the bridge (i wanted to prove my point without the bridge but like. damn!! it's a good bridge!!!). that's my spiel.

#god this is long but thank you for the ask it made me think :) #like at the end of the day a great instrumental with subpar lyrics is going to beat out #a song with incredible lyrics and a bothersome instrumental bc that effects tone and meaning and listenability and impact #so i think sing is v easy for me to appreciate #my posts #angstics #igottheanswer

[urfavnegronerd]

honey-kehlani

trope: fluffy 

pairing: margo kess x black fem reader

warnings: some good old southern metaphors, Grammarly hates me (i think they anti black fr), lowk internalized homophobia but nothing insane readers kinda on the dl but not gross dl yk?, still ina rut lowkey, got up before my alarm and decided to finish this before i leave

song lyrics are italicized 

w/c: 1.6k ish

saw you awake  

Margo is pretty. Real pretty. Pretty like magnolias in May type. It’s not like you’ve never liked a girl before, because you definitely have. Them late-night reruns on nick-at-nite you used to watch with your family type shit. That 90’s type pretty. It’s not like you were foreign to the concept of being gay, or lesbian, or however the world wanted to label your innate attraction to girls. It just… wasn’t something you mentioned a lot. You’d talked about it a lot with your grandmother, but other than that? Liking girls was something you just didn’t mention. All you knew was that Margo was pretty, the type pretty to make you adjust your cargo pants so they hung just right, in the way so that when you stretched she could see the band of the Nike Pros you wore. Type pretty to make sure you kept your shoes clean,  looking all fresh, type pretty to make sure your washday always happened. Cus girls like clean shoes and pretty hair, right? It wasn’t like you could just… go and spit game to her.

You were sprung off your ass and you couldn’t help it, shit you tried to swing from masculine to feminine enough to make her notice, but nothing seemed to work. You’d tried to talk to her, but it… did not end well. You were shy and blushy and didn’t know what to say. 

“Talk to me sweet pea,” 

“Grandmama it's just a lot on my mind,” 

“Girl I am your grandmother, not talkin' to me is like a screen door on a submarine. It don’t make no sense baby,” 

“I know,” 

“Is it some girl?” 

You tensed a little bit, your grandmother is the only one you’re fully out to. 

“Yes ma'am,”  

“She got your feathers all ruffled?” Your grandmother slowly looks up from the sweet potatoes she’s peeling, eyebrow raised with a knowing look and smile playing on her lips, a hot blush crawls up your neck and you swallow meekly, nodding.  

“She’s real pretty Grandmama. Smart, too.” 

“That’s real good, baby,” 

“Grandmama I’m being serious, she pretty as a peach and I don’t know what to do about it,” 

“What you mean you don't know what to do about it?”

“It’s like, every time I see her, I freeze,” 

“Baby you fixin to be just another pretty face to that girl, keep acting like that,” 

“But what if she not…” 

“Not what? A lesbian?” 

“Yeah,” 

“Then you move on,” 

“It’s a lot more than just movin' on, m’dear,” 

“Babycakes it sounds like you just making excuses,” 

“Yeah, you probably right m’dear,” 

A few weeks had passed since you told your grandmother about Margo. You told your grandmother about some girl you ain't never had the guts to talk to, but now, here you are, a handful of lilies from your grandmama’s garden, mixed with lavender, waiting outside her door. Part of you is happy and excited, but the other part? Thinks this is stupid and you should run. There’s such a huge chance that she could just not be into girls, and then what? You make a complete fool of yourself and it could go bad to the point where she tells everyone. Why was being… like this, so difficult? Loving up on someone shouldn’t be hard, right? 

Psyching yourself up, lightly bouncing on the balls of your feet, New Balance 550s with juniper, you ring the doorbell, hiding the flowers behind your back. 

“Hello?” Margo’s face, big brown eyes, gentle cheekbones, two puffs, and an entire universe worth of beauty peek out from behind the door. 

“Margo! I, erm, Margo. Hi,” 

“Oh! I know you, we have chem together, right?” 

And English and History, but who’s counting? 

“Y-Yeah, so, um, listen I was kinda wondering if maybe you wanted to–” 

“Those are really pretty flowers,” 

“Hnm? Oh, I got them in my grandmother's garden, they’re um, for you,” 

“Really?” Her face lights up, starting with her eyes. And oh how you adored the tiny gap between her two front teeth, the way her curls lightly bounced when she laughed or talked. Fully unlocking the door, she swings it open to you. She’s wearing a blue oversized hoodie and purple shorts. “I love lavender.” 

You smile and look down, suddenly shy, and you push the flowers into her hands. 

“Did you maybe, want to go out with me? Like, together?” 

She looks taken aback but smiles softly, inhaling the scent of the flowers. 

“Like a date?” 

“I– yeah. Like a date.” 

“Yes.” 

“Wait really?” 

“Yeah,” 

“So, um, Friday? I’ll pick you up at seven?” 

“Seven it is,” 

“Okay.” 

“Okay.” 

Friday.

don’t walk away  

It’s far from uncommon for you to like girls. However, it was far from common for you to have a girlfriend. A pretty girl, Margo, just so happened to like you back. Enough so to go out on a date with you. The first date was far from awkward. Well, it was awkward. You didn’t know what to say or do, she looked so beautiful, so much so that you had told her at least five times that night. She had her hair in two braids wrapped around her head, and one of the lilies you had given her tucked behind her ear.  

It had been just over two months of the two of you being a couple, just about a month and a half of you labeling your relationship. The word girlfriend coming out of her mouth was the most beautiful rendition of the English language you had ever heard, the way she gently rolled her r’s, not like the way you’d speak Spanish, but her r’s were a heavyset sound rolling off her tongue.  

It was early morning, the sun gently dusting its way into your room, and your arms were latched around Margo’s waist, face pressed against her bonnet. She’s one of a kind and you could promise anyone that, the kind of smart that makes you itch to work hard in school, so the two of you could be those smart girlfriends, the girlfriends that went to the top universities and had their whole future perfectly aligned. You loved her, and that was simultaneously terrifying but calming at the same tie. 

From her thick bed of curls, the same bed of curls that you helped braid and detangle, all the way down to the toenails you helped her paint. 

“I wanna paint them purple,” she’d announced one day, voice muffled behind the sweatshirt she had stolen from you. 

“So paint ‘em purple,” 

“You draw better than me,” 

“You want my help?” 

“Can you?” she pouted. Of course you could, you’d do anything to make her smile.  

Loving Margo was the easiest decision you’d ever made, you didn’t even have to think about it. You just loved her, it was simple as breathing. 

“Hey,” you whisper, gently ghosting peppery kisses into her neck. You were positive she wasn’t awake, and you felt empowered. Not in a weird way, oh no. It was like you were the one to protect her, to gently watch her chest rise and fall, hear her breathing, and feel the faint pound of her heart. Margo made you feel safe, happy and loved. She fed your soul, filled you up the way your grandmother’s cooking did, and made you feel warm and euphoric, and sleepy at the same time in a blissful combination that came with feeling the most intense peace you’d ever encountered. 

“I love you,” that was the first time you’d said it out loud, it was easier to know she was sleeping and say it. As much as you loved her, uttering those words was the most excruciating fear you’d ever been through, the fear that made you wonder whether or not she loved you for real or if she was just acting. Every day you woke up and hoped that it wasn’t just acting, that she loved you as much as you loved her. 

“I love you so much, Margo. I love helping you braid your hair up, and helping take them down, I love the little gap between your teeth, and how bright your smile is. I love how you make me feel, Margo. I love how smart you are because I get to be the one to say that you’re my girlfriend, and how far you’re gonna go. Pretty girl, I love how smart you are, I love the way you think. And I know this is kind of cheating because you’re asleep, but I wanted to say I love you, okay? I love you so much Margo Kess” 

It did kind of feel like cheating to you, she was asleep, did saying ‘I love you’ for the first time need to happen while she was awake? You didn’t want to wake her though. She looked so pretty, the bright blue camisole a beautiful contrast to her melanated skin, and of course, the matching bonnet cascading down her back. Deciding to leave it at that, you press your forehead to her shoulder blade and breathe in her scent. The hair oil, the cocoa butter, and the Vaseline. 

“Who said I was still sleeping?”

or would you wait for me?

taglist: @masaidabest @hiimayee @kombuuuu @lunarfleur @zo3ez @miguellover6969 @nagi3seastorm @n1cole-ghost @hummusxx

a/n: leaving today until friday, so i wont have any electronics :P but please please please blow up my inbox, we 20 away from 200. i seriously love all yall sm, wanted to feed you before i leave. heavy on that blow up my mentions, inbox, errythang so i can come back and read ur lovely notifs.

🩷 reblogs are always appreciated for reach <3

xoxo,

rae <3

#black people #urfavnegronerd #across the spiderverse #fanfiction #into the spiderverse #margo kess #spiderverse fanart #spiderverse #spiderverse oc #spiderman into the spiderverse #miguel spiderverse #across the spider verse #atsv #atsv spoilers #meows morales #miles morales #atsv pavitr #pavitr prabhakar #spiderverse pavitr #hobie x pavitr #pavitr my beloved #gwen stacy #black fanfic writer #black fanfiction #black girl #black writers #black reader #x black fem reader #x black reader #poc reader

[volivolition]

!!!!! We're SO glad you like Cosmos it's such a pretty song tbh like,,, waow,,

ok this time we have. THREE songs ok but hear me out: they go together.. u cannot separate them. sO!

first: The Heart Acoustic by Chonny Jash. This one gives off major canon Empathy vibes to us BUT for our system it's a Volition song. Either in a scenario where he's like. Unsure about his role as a Skill or as very Low levelled Volition wdk. Both r fitting to us though if that makes sense!

second: The Mind Electric, also by Chonny Jash! VERY MUCH a Logic song!! We really like these three songs and how they connect together the whole album is great in that tho it's abt these three guys just fucking FIGHTING EACH OTHER FBDBSJDJFJ but these three songs rlly show that. We see this as a song where Logic and Volition do NOT get along at all [also fun fact our Logic sounds like the dude in this song specifically. lov that 4 him <3]

third: The Soul Eclectic... Also by Chonny Jash! JFKDKDKFFK we r back on our shit [chonny jash hyperfixation <3] This one's an e-chem song 4 SURE to us but like,, Signature Skill Electrochemistry. less "hey do this thing to make yourself happy :3" and more "DO WHAT I FUCKING SAY EVERYONE OR ELSE :^)" sorta vibes FJDJDJFJ

the three songs tell a story of Heart and Mind fighting for control over the lead singer and they both want him to do vastly different things meanwhile Soul is like..... Listen. I need you both to shut the fuck up or I'll just KILL YOU. and our interpretation of the songs w the skills isn't quite like that it's less,, violent. more like "listen to me because I'm signature skill and harry listens to ME so shut it a bit" does that make sense it's 2 in the morning and we're TIRED lmao

anyways!!! all great songs, if you like these three PLEAZE let us kno bc chonny has a looottttt of good shit and we'd be so happy to send you more of his songs omg we lov his music so much

oh ive seen you mentioned these before i think!! :D ive listened to the original mind electric, and i LOVE how he's played with the concepts and melody?? i listened to this version with all three of them (i will not separate them dont worry hkjgh <33) and your interpretation is VERY COOL!! :D

more thoughts below the cut :]

oooh very orchestral and dramatic? i love all the lyrical replacements and all the nods back to the original too ough... i love cool fucking words hkjhg i understand the volition standpoint with "That’s what I’ll say to rationalize / I’m needed if we’re to stay alive." YEAH I SEE IT!! "see how the mind tricks the so-O-O-OUL~!!" MM GOOD SHIT, with the pauses in between? "do what you want, you automaton freak / no, i can no longer bring myself to care" FUCHFKH LMAO...? YOUR TURN BUDDY. man this is so cool...

:0 hell yes, logic you have an EXCELLENT voice, we all love this for him <3 "my logic is the absolute / his pity parties simply harm these chances at an apt repute" DUDE THESE FUCKING RHYMES!! HELL YES!! I LOVE WORDS!!! RUAHG!!!! i love that this one sounds more digital than the last one? OH wait i get it, the heart's acoustic and the mind's electric, man that's so cool... and also REALLY MEAN, lots of insults HKJHG but very amusing, THE GIRLIES ARE FIGHTINGGGG!!

soul starting with "Yo." fucking hgkjhg?? love that. this one OUGH... the BEAT, the vibes are so much more intense now, like oh shit okay!! boss music!! kill, then!! ooh i love heart and mind singing at the same time but different lyrics... oh nooo little guy don't... oh no the implications of the ending, no little fella noooo... :'] its very commanding, it does fit a cool skill signature, go e-chem go!! EVERYONE ELSE BE!! A LITTLE QUIET!! hkjhg

ough these are so cool, low psyche, high int, higher physique build :0

oh if this is something i also listened to The Bidding from Chonny (and watched the music video! its good fucking animation i love how theyre portrayed as little guys :3 the "WE COMBINED??? NO WAY GUYS!!!!!" WE LOVE TO SEE IT HDJKH) they did it!!! they worked together for a little bit!!! :D!! yayayayay!! also a cool one <3 if you would like to tell me thoughts on this one i will gladly send you an ask!! <33

thank you for sharing!! i always appreciate you :] <333

#volta transmissions #suggestion recommendation #voliart #its very amusing; when i write voli and logic theyre usually working together hkjhg the two who are like PLEASE DO SOMETHING SENSIBLE!! #voli logi posy (composure) my ''PLEASE BE NORMAL FOR ONCE'' squad lmao #but then again volition's the signature in my writing so the dynamics changing make sense <3 #not usually my type of song but i still appreciate it!! feel free to send me others! i will happily listen to whatever you'd like to share! #oh wait shit the read more is a little useless on desktop but OH WELL!!

[laven23]

La's Frerard theory

⚠️Make sure not to hate in the comments. If you're not interested chill out, go out!

This is a very important era. The fans started to really feel like it was actually happening. The evidences were getting much obvious, pretty soon they would tell us they were dating or something, right?

2007

If I chose to waste the past 10 years of my life to explain something, that would be that confusing year in my chem. There was no single moment these two weren't doing something onstage. Seriously, look at those pictures yourself and tell me if for an anti-homophobia message it wasn't too much:

Much weird, right? I mean. Not disgusting at all lol. But isn't it too much even for making the fans happy, to make homophobes mad, or anything else? There was not only inoffensive kisses, they were not even fast, and sexual things was happening too much. About the kisses, what's more interesting were those passionate ones:

Chronologically 1st one ->

2nd ->

There you could watch them doing it freely. Nothing to hide, nothing to care. Frank was single and so was Gerard. But why? Why when people asked them it turned into nothing? When it comes to the interviews there was only laughing and embarrassment (specially coming from Gerard).. They were playing with us? With each other? Pretty soon you'll see who got more played in this situation.

Interview 1

Interviewer: (...) Wants to know if Gerard sleeps naked

Frank: Yes he does

Gerard: No!

Frank: Well you did when you slept with me

Gerard: a literal nervous laugh.

Interview 2 (About the most famous kiss)

Interviewer: How it was to kiss Frank?

Gerard: oh it was like magic! Fireworks!

Frank on the background: hiding his face

///

Ending of 07's: Suddenly Wife!?

Let's not talk about her in specifical this time, but about what brought her into the fandom. Surprisingly Gerard appeared with a woman, and we heard they got married in December 3rd. But not only us but everyone else including the bandmates didn't know Gerard was even that serious with her since they were dating about three months until that moment, even them being old friends it was still too soon. Fans shocked. Some of happiness, liking her, her band and stuff. Others wanted to know what about Frank. Others just hated her because she was too possessive (still) but as I said this is not the subject.

That was an literal nightmare. Gerard and Frank just fought onstage after that, not sure If Frank tried to kiss or tackle him but Gerard got him rolling to the floor. Everytime I watch this I feel so much pain.

The fight ->

We can guess Frank was the only one who fell for him. Or Gerard wasn't brave enough to show off with him. It's very hard to say but deep inside Gerard can be an insecure guy looking for some rescue, something that wouldn't make him worry and get anxious like a gay relationship for example. Not saying he doesn't love Lindsey, but I can't say he doesn't (didn't) love Frank sometime. Personally i feel like it can't be that he didn't fall for him. Even Frank being the insistent one, You need two individuals to make a kiss, right?

Frank started to show himself in a depressed way. Like one time that he went to the backstage and started crying when Gerard was singing Cancer, like he couldn't stand up even for a inoffensive sad song. And more, There's a rumor that says Ray saw Frank crying in the bathroom (not sure where).

2008

Results: Frank was pissed. Like for real.

We never saw him this pissed before. We knew kiddo Frank. The crazy one, the eternal teen, the bone breaker. Now he was an literal adult.

As we all thought is the obvious, he got back together with Jamia and it didn't take long until he got married too.

With that, what a musician would do about it? Music, of course. First Frank started writing poetry (about Gerard) on his site on myspace called ftwwillz (which one he still used until 2013 or 2014), pretty soon he would use those lyrics to make his new songs. Leathermouth came with the most violently depressing songs, reminds a lot of Black flag, his favorite band.

2009

MCR was inactive. Frank started a new band of electronic-rock called Death spells. Full of those myspace lyrics as much as Leathermouth. I think Frank made this account for some of the fans see and believe what he says. What he feels.

All for today killjoys

#frerard #frerardisreal #frerardtheory #gerardway #frankiero #frank iero #gerard way #my chemical romance #mychemicalromance #mcr #mcrx

[sarcasmandships]

synthesia

pete is blue.

and mikey is orange. 

pete knows that these colours do not mix. 

Pete is blue.

And Mikey is orange.

These are facts that Pete knows, even when his hands shake and his mind seems to slip away from him, and he wants to reach for a bottle of something to numb his manic thoughts, he knows that he is blue, and Mikey is orange.

These are facts that Pete knows even though he doesn’t know how he knows them.

Everyone has a colour, but the gentle, golden-orange glow that emanates from Mikey is always the brightest in the crowd. It’s a soft hue, not overly saturated, and it reminds Pete of the remnant rays of the setting sun. It’s warm and inviting, and Mikey hates it.

Most people dismiss the notion that people can have colours, even more when Pete tells them that he can see them. Most people are used to Pete’s enigmatic ramblings and ignore his stranger claims, maybe he’s experimenting with new song lyrics, they think.

Even Patrick gives him an exasperated look when Pete tells him that he is red, not a bright or gaudy shade of red though. Its deeper, more like maroon or burgundy, something with depth and soul.

Mikey doesn’t like being orange. When he asked Pete to tell him what colour he was, his nose wrinkled and he repeated orange back to him, as though the word itself was poisonous. Pete rolled his eyes, Mikey likes to think he is ten times edgier than he really is, Pete knows he was hoping for something stupid like onyx black, blood red, or charcoal grey.

But Pete stands his ground.

“Yes, orange,” he repeats.

Mikey grumbles about it for a few more minutes, moaning that Pete must be wrong because how is he meant to maintain his reputation as the coolest member of My Chem if he is the same colour as a highlighter pen.

Pete could tell him that he isn’t neon, it’s more like the glow of a candle in a darkened room, like the worn rust on a chain, like the sunset. Pete could tell Mikey lots of things, how he likes the purple bruises that he leaves on his skin, how he likes the pink flush that creeps over his cheeks when is pressed beneath him, how he likes his lips best when they are red and swollen from his kisses.

Pete could tell Mikey a lot of things, but he can’t sort out his tangle of thoughts and feelings into real words. They exist only in his unpublished song lyrics and live journal posts; Mikey doesn’t know about any of these things. And Pete knows if he did tell him, he wouldn’t just wrinkle his nose and tell him he is wrong, he’d spit the words back at him as though they were worse than poison.

Mikey might be soft and golden and warm, but sometimes the orange has an edge. When Mikey is angry, which isn’t often, Pete can see the burning orange of an inferno around him. The dancing flames lick his skin, highlight his furrowed brows, his clenched jaw, when Mikey is angry the orange is too.

Pete also knows that orange and blue don’t mix. They are on opposite sides of the colour wheel; when Pete was still figuring out why he could see people as colours he tried to make sense of it all by painting. He learned early on that when he mixed blue and orange paint, it made a muddy brown.

Pete knows he is blue.

He sees it in his reflection, but he also feels it deep in his soul. Sometimes the blue is electric, it buzzes like the glow from the fly killer light on Mikey’s porch, its deep and multi-dimensional, like the crashing ocean waves. Pete associates this kind of blue with his stretches of mania, when he feels invincible, and the blue is bold and fearless.

On these days, Pete almost thinks that blue and orange could work together.

Other times the blue is dull, it has an almost grey tinge and remind him of blue hospital gowns, cool-toned fluorescent lights, the blue plastic capsule of an Ativan pill. On these days, Pete feels cold and invisible, and he craves the warmth of Mikey’s sunset orange.

Blue precedes the sunset, but the soft blue of the sky dissipates to make way for brilliant streaks of orange, and red, and pink. Blue follows the sunset too, when the last rays of sun fade away the sky turns to a deep inky blue, before it melts into black.

Pete is blue.

And Mikey is orange.

These are facts that Pete knows even though he doesn’t know how he knows them.

There is no place for blue in a sunset.

Pete needs the warmth and light of Mikey’s orange, but what use does Mikey have for his blue?

His moods flicker between blinding azure and dull cerulean like the old light on Mikey’s porch, it too has a warm orange glow that he can never truly understand.

Pete is blue.

And Mikey is orange.

And Pete knows that blue and orange do not mix.

#pete wentz #mikey way #petekey #fall out boy #my chemical romance #summer of like #pete wentz imagines #petekey imagine #mikey way imagine #fall out boy imagine

[minkkumaz]

omg ive been there before,, i failed my chem test and my avg is a 63 rn.. ☹️

praying our teachers accidentally slip & fall straight on their keyboard and somehow give us a 90 on the next tests. 😓🤲

(currently distracted by thoughts of school athlete! WOONHAK whos playing basketball at a park, sees the reader sitting on a nearby bench, [woonhak has had a crush on them for the past few months] he has some sort of spike of courage, goes “hey this is for you”, aims at the hoop, misses, proceeds to sulk, but lucky for him the reader finds him cute!!!)

okay omg gn i was abt to send this until i started thinking about soccer players SUNGHO & JAEHYUN with coaches daughter reader.. (YKWIM?? like in serenade that one lyric of ‘ill get along with your dad for you.’)

SOBBINGG imagine a father figure coach for sungho & jaehyun.. then their coach introduces his daughter as the club manager,, and they just go 😨😍. their coach obviously sees the way his two star players look at his daughter though!! more laps around the field for them 😡!!

but unfortunately for their coach, (fortunate for us. bc oh my gosh sungho and jaehyun.) jaehyun and sungho would do anything to impress their new manager.

oh my gosh wait because hear me out on this. english foreigner exchange student in korea, meets RIWOO. like what if she gets lost around the halls one day and stumbles into riwoo whos practicing some new choreo.

she goes to ask for help, but ultimately riwoo just stands there barely understanding what shes saying with his limited english and just starts laughing awkwardly and saying ‘yes!’ (i vividly remember boynextdoor tonight where he was getting interviewed in english and he just kept agreeing with the interviewer while awkwardly laughing.) he doesn’t know if hes nervous because of the language barrier, or if its because such a pretty person is standing infront of him… That day he goes straight home to call taesan in hopes to learn more English. >_<

AHH OH MY GOF imagine like like like like being dorm neighbors with TAESAN and the walls end up being a little to thin.. (without the readers knowledge..) and Taesan can’t help but hear how they both have similar music taste. if he puts a cup by the wall (which he once did) he could definitely make out some humming of NIRVANA and Oasis. Now hes in his apartment pondering how to become friends (and possibly even more!) with the reader..

now, now hear me out. elementary school leehan finds socially isolated reader at recess, eating a gummy set. like pizza, taco, hamburger type of gummy set. slowly but surely they end up bonding, thats how leehan became infatuated with gummies.. ofc leehan shared his interests with the reader too! showing his fish tank with his proud toothy grin. sadly, the reader had to move away, leaving leehan alone with a severe gummy addiction..

but oh MY? a new student enrolled in his class? they look just like the reader.. but it cant be! the new student is nothing like them.. they’re more outgoing and bubbly now, are their school supplies fish themed? its like fate brought them back together >< the reader is still inlove with gummies, but now they also have a big heart for fish and other sea animals.

omg i was supposed to just be talking abt goofy woonhak missing his shot,, dont know how it all came to this.

-🍉

me and you are dying in our ap classes like why did god decide that ap was a good idea then shoot us in the head with it >:T i also hope our teachers fall suddenly ><

ATHLETE WOONHAK IN HIGHSCHOOL HAS GENUINELY BEEN ON MY MIND FOR LIKE.. EVER. like bro you don't know how often i think about that; but i actually think a few people on tumblr have written that scenario very similarly, so i was too scared to ever write about it since i don't want people to think i'm copying them AJAJS

as someone who is not into sports, i am surprising myself with how into these ideas i am cause.. bro sungho and jaehyun being soccer players PERIOD makes me blush. this is giving.. unit series.. YOU GIVE ME WAY TOO MANY IDEAS MELON MY BRAIN CAN'T ELABORATE HARD ENOUGH ON GOOGLE DOCS! but coach telling them to run more laps is so funny to me AHASJKHB like i can imagine jaehyun being like 'woah.. hey..' and sungho stepping on his foot with his cleats like 'bro stfu'

but bro you're so smart for foreigner reader. because i think i've read like two fics that were like that and i know damn well they had me swooning. and imagining that is like.. reader would walk into whatever room riwoo was practicing, and he immediately greeted her but then when he SAW her he was like ♡_♡; and reader would probably think he's judging her for her korean skills and ends up just speaking in english while hes still ♡_♡ then him pretending like he knows whats going on </3 HES SO FUCKIGN CUTE I CANT

thin walls with taesan.. bye his ass is probably so nosy he probably accidentally listens to your conversations as he is on the floor painting, but then you suddenly arent on call anymore.. and then suddenly you're listening to the music he loves.. HIS ASS IS SPRINTING TO PUT HIS EAR UP TO THE WALL (imagine the scooby doo running sound) then he probably whines to jaehyun about not knowing what to do because he feels like he's going insane.

bro reuniting tropes (idk what they're called but yk what i mean) honestly piss me off a little bit because the people are always so stupid like THEY'RE RIGHT THERE HOW DO U NOT KNOW FOR SURE!!! but the way you described it with leehan made me blush a little.. im just imagining how cute little leehan would be like im gonna pinch his cheeks and cry AGHH but i'm more surprised that he consistently liked gummies for his entire life LOLL i don't even think i remember what my favorite candy was in elementary school.

i loved all your ideas like i was smiling so hard reading this while i was eating dinner HAHA keep em coming and i might have to do a backflip or something idk AJAJS

#∞ ₒ ˚ omi's chats #༊*·˚ anonymous peoples #🍉 anon ·˚ ༘ ✎

[theswarmanthology]

Lindsey, 19, New Jersey

"I love seeing everyone’s analyses of songs, costumes, lyrics, set lists, etc. I don’t make posts of my own but it’s beautiful to see how much people care about this band that means so much to me."

Fast Facts: How long have you been a fan?: 5-8 years Did you get to see MCR live before this tour?: No, this tour was my first time seeing MCR How many shows on this tour did you attend in total?: 2-4 Favorite album: I have more than one favorite album Show experience out of 10: 10 Did you cry at your show?: Yes

Which date of the tour did you attend? 09/10/22, Barclays Center, Brooklyn, Night 1

When did you get your tickets for your show? Was it a struggle, or were they easy to grab? I got tickets in July. I had to get resale ones because tickets sold out immediately.

Did you attend with anyone else? My childhood best friend

What did you wear? A black tank top and black jeans- nothing special.

Where were your seats? Center nosebleeds

What was your favorite song(s) from the setlist they played at your show? Vampire Money

What song were you most hoping to hear? Did you get to hear it? “I Don’t Love You”, did not get to hear it :(

What was your favorite moment from the show? Everyone singing happy birthday to Mikey

What was the most unexpected moment from the show? Mikey speaking and dedicating Helena to his daughters.

Did you snag any merch? What pieces? I bought the “Thank You For The Venom” tote bag and “Boy Zone” shirt

Many fans describe seeing MCR live as feeling like coming home. Did you experience anything like that at your show? It truly was an overwhelming experience in the best way possible.

If you could change one thing about your show experience, what would it be? Waiting a little longer to buy my tickets so they would’ve been less expensive. Buying a mystery shirt (couldn’t find one at the merch stand I went to).

Has your perspective or opinion about the band changed since seeing them on this tour? If so, in what way? I used to feel that so much of My Chem came from a place of pain and now it’s clear that they are back doing what they love and being together.

What advice would you give to people seeing My Chemical Romance in the future? Just let go and have fun. It’ll be an amazing experience no matter where you are in the venue.

Thanks, Lindsey!

#story #09/10/22 #mcrbrooklyn1

[koishua]

☀: also ANTIFRAGILEEEEEEEE oml fimmies cb >>> im prolly gonna go through promo content like... next month LOL bc that's when i have free time ;-; but i listened to the album during chem the other day and it was just 🔥🔥🔥!! i love love love good parts the most but honestly all the songs instantly went on my favs playlist !! the girls slayed 😔 what's your fav part? lots of love and hugs to you <33

yes!!!! the album is so freaking fun omgosh i can't even— that's okay take your time but just know that some amazing stuff will be waiting for you to watch them lmao and good parts was so sweet and the lyrics were so :(( i loved each and every single track too hybe just never lets their artists put out bad songs i swear like txt?? wbk they are THE no-skip kings, but enha, fromis_9, bts, svt, gfriend (my queens rip ;-;), and now the fimmies!!

my fav song has to be impurities tho (and also the hydra bc come on) bc of the immaculate vibes and beat and choreo. everything slaps about the song it's just my vibe. it's so laid-back and groovy. i do have to admit that the bsides are a tiny bit diff from the fearless album and maybe it's bc im so extremely attached to their debut album bc my life literally felt like it changed the moment it came out, but i like fearless a tiny bit more. antifragile is a banger and the rest are amazing too (no celestial my positive hype song of the year‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️) but fearless the album will always hold this very special place in my heart 😩😩

#☀️ anon #xoxoxo to you too dear <3 i'll see you whenever 😽😽

[amberjazmyn]

already gone

𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮 - already gone

𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 - character death, mentions of cancer, tears, loss of misha's wife

𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 - for ages, misha's wife, adrienna collins had been extremely sick, going in and out of hospitals until she loses her physical battle after she had given up on her fight ages ago mentally.

𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻'𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮 - just a quick note, this is also an old chapter that i have rewritten already a couple of times but once again, i wanted to recycle it for misha collins because i did think about writing it forone of the j's but decided against it. also, like always, i take my warnings/trigger warnings seriously so if this is something you feel like you won't be able to read, please ignore it or read with caution. also, bold italics are lyrics, italics are flashbacks and normal font is present time and it'll be written in lowercase. i am also going to make misha young in this but i will still include the supernatural cast if that makes sense.

masterlist

- - -

remember all the things we wanted, now all our memories they're haunted. 

misha and his wife, adrienna, had planned to do so much together after only being married for just over a year, fourteen months. they planned on renovating their austin, texas home, trying for kids, and hopefully having those kids, to continue living together, travelling when supernatural wasn't being filmed or doing promotion, making silly youtube videos together, the absolute lot. they had planned so much but now, these memories were just haunted and won't ever be experienced together. 

adrienna was sick, very sick, she had been in the hospital for the last couple of months due to intense chemotherapy, meaning she would be missing from some of the supernatural shooting days and promotions. and, it was utterly devastating for the newly married couple. adrienna was barely able to leave her hospital bed without feeling weak, dizzy or nauseous and as though she'd throw her guts up if she lifted a single finger or toe. it broke misha's heart right down to his core, especially when he couldn't be with her in the hospital to keep her safe and make sure she wasn't scared when he wasn't in austin or canada. 

we were always meant to say goodbye, even with our fists held high. 

adrienna and misha both believed in the saying that, "everything happens for a reason." and, at first, of course, adrienna and misha did not think that her cancer diagnosis was a blessing. they thought it was a mean, rude, cruel curse put upon them. however, throughout the process, slowly, adrienna started to go back to church and she started praying to god again. all of a sudden, the curse of her cancer went away and, it became a blessing in disguise. yes, sure, she never expected this was how she'd say goodbye to her husband but, she and misha, no matter what was always meant to say goodbye to each other in some capacity. even with their fists held high in celebration of adrienna's strength, they were always meant to say goodbye to each other. 

it never would have worked out right, we were never meant for do or die. 

although getting told that adrienna's treatment was no longer working was heartbreaking and terrifying, it just meant that adrienna and misha's "till death do us part" vow was coming a bit earlier than their married friends was and it was okay, it was just needing some time to come to terms with and get used to. despite the fact that misha struggled in comprehending that he was only going to have been married to his wife for not even a full year, never have kids with her and never have the fun experience of renovating their home together, it made him realise so much more and it allowed him to look at the bigger picture of the situation. 

"--i'm so sorry mr collins but, after going through some last-minute tests with adrienna in regards to her chemotherapy treatment for her cancer, it has been found that her body is no longer responding as well as we would have liked to the chemo and, we'll be taking her off the treatment per her own request. because of adrienna's awareness of the failure of the chemo's response to cancer in her blood cells, she was more than happy to start the refusal of all types of treatment. she's also requested that you don't try to fight with her against this as she's very adamant that if she knows that one type of treatment isn't going to work, she doesn't want to bother with any other sort, even if it has a high percentage rate of responding well..." misha could barely let oxygen through his lungs as his wife's oncologist, dr callahan brings the young man the worst news he had ever heard since the original diagnosis 

"...do you know why exactly she's refusing all treatment revenues?" misha felt his ears ringing as he asked that question, tears burning the back of his eyes as he was handed a tissue by dr callahan, the married man keeping it in his lap for a moment before his fingers absentmindedly played with it as it was then rolled into a ball 

"it's, unfortunately, private information due to doctor confidentiality, cannot be told by me. if adrienna does wish to tell you, that is most certainly okay, however, it is not my place due to the rules and requirements. i am very sorry misha, i know you and adrienna were hoping for some better news as it really did look as though she was responding beautifully. if you two need anything else, please feel free to ring either me or doctor keating up. adrienna is in the patient room and all of her tests have been completed if you two wish to leave, goodbye misha," dr callahan was a lovely man, he was a little bit older than misha's father, and was a brilliantly intelligent oncologist and one of the best ones out of what felt like the hundreds that the married couple had gone to all around texas so they didn't have to travel to another state when it first came to mind that adrienna had fallen ill 

the moment dr callahan excused himself from his own office, allowing time for misha to fully process and absorb the information the elder man had given him, misha truly started to break down. he never thought of the day that he'd be told by his wife's oncologist that the chemotherapy wasn't working and that she'd no longer be receiving any other form, even if it was proved to have a good percentage of her survival because of her own refusal of wanting any more treatment. his eyes burned due to the tears that he had been fighting back the entire meeting with the doctor even though it wasn't the first time that misha had dissolved into silent sobs or sometimes moderately loud ones during a meeting with the oncologist in regard to the progress in regards to his sick wife. just for one meeting, misha didn't want to be clutching a tissue or the entire kleenex box in his lap as he cried to himself in the office but, once again, here he was, utterly inconsolable about the new news on his wife's health. 

the tissue caught every single tear that fell from misha's eyes as he rested his right arm, his right hand holding the tissue, against the shockingly comfortable chair that sat in the middle of the collins' oncologist's office, the door that opened into the said office behind misha. it took an entire hour for misha to stop crying and, due to adrienna having to take just a couple of smaller tests last minute like she did every check-up, she wasn't too fussed that her husband seemed to be taking an extra-long time with dr callahan. however, it wasn't until she looked up from her comfortable seat in the room in which all her tests were taken that for the past hour, misha had been crying, all alone, in dr callahan's office. despite the fact that misha had wiped all the tears away and gone into the bathroom to wash them away with water, adrienna could still see the red and puffy silhouette that his tears left on his face as evidence. it twisted her heart in all the ways that hurt the most as she realised that at the majority of her check-ups, misha would end up in tears and crying all alone when she was getting her blood leeched out, when her pulse, blood sugar and blood pressure were constantly taken when she could have been consoling her very much distraught husband. 

i didn't want us to burn out, i didn't come here to hurt you now, i can't stop. 

for what felt like weeks, adrienna had been trying to tell misha to stay in vancouver with his supernatural cast because she knew that soon, she wasn't going to be alive much longer. she didn't want to hurt him, that was never her intention, no way when she first met misha and the rest of their supernatural family. however, because of how much he loved her and wanted to be sure she was safe, he refused to leave her bedside during promotion for the new season and stayed with her all day, every day whilst the others, mostly jared padalecki and jensen ackles covered for him. 

"--misha, sweetheart, i thought you said you were going back to vancouver?" adrienna whispered as she woke up, her voice groggy as she notices that misha still hadn't left austin as he promised her he would 

he didn't answer adrienna, as if he knew she was right and that he should have listened to his wife but, he didn't. adrienna, obviously curious, asked him why he lied to her, misha feeling extremely guilty that he lied to his wife. 

"mish, come on bubs, why did you lie to me?" adrienna sat up as much as she could as he sighed heavily, he didn't answer because he had no answer to give her about why he lied

"i...i don't know, i just, i wanted you to rest and get some sleep so, i said that to you so you would go to sleep because i knew you weren't going to fall asleep until i told you that i'd book me a flight back to vancouver for work. i'm sorry..." misha whispered as he plonked his head onto adrienna's leg as she pouted, her hand brushing through her husband's messy brunette locks

"it's okay babe, but please love, go back to vancouver, i'm sure you can get your mum or even mine or even our sisters to come over and make sure that i'm okay if you are that paranoid. i promise you that i am okay, misha, i'm just tired," adrienna convinced misha as he rolled his eyes, hating that his wife always somehow convinced him to leave, grunting as he didn't want to leave his wife but, he trusted if anything were to go wrong, his parents, her parents or even their siblings or castmates would tell him 

"fine! but, i do trust that my sister dannielle and your sister alania look after you and if anything were to happen, they contact me and everyone else immediately!" misha spoke with a more assertive tone (which honestly turned his wife on) as adrienna smiled triumphantly, nodding her head

"okay, that's a deal babe. now leave, you need to go back to vancouver, i'll be fine!" adrienna smiled as misha nodded his head, giving his wife one last hug and kiss before leaving after his flight was successfully rescheduled 

i want you to know, that it doesn't matter, where we take this road, but someone's gotta go. 

as she sat with her sister and sister-in-law, alania and danielle, adrienna smiled. to her, it didn't matter that she was going to die, for she had gotten over that fear ages ago. so, she knew that she didn't want misha to go through any of the emotional pain of watching the love of his life slowly succumb to her illness so, she refused to have misha be anywhere near her hospital room during her chemo treatments or transfusions. she knew that someone had to go and, that person was her and, she was more than okay with that. 

"ari, aren't you scared to die?" alania hesitated, the three girls all sitting down on the collins' lounge room couch, grabbing a tight hold of her sister's clammy hand as she sighs, a small smile playing on her lips 

for context as to why she was no longer in hospital, it had been a couple of weeks since adrienna had made misha go back to vancouver so he could rejoin his castmates on the promotional interview tour before the actual, legitimate season premiere of the newest supernatural season whilst alania and danielle took care of adrienna. however, recently, adrienna had been discharged back home due to the fact that she was now on hospice care because she was coming closer to the end of her life. meaning that the hospital agreed in bringing her home to austin on hospice care as well as having her pass peacefully in a familial setting rather than the hospital room being the last thing she sees. 

"no, alania, not at all," adrienna smiled softly as she caressed her sister's hand, the two girls giving their sister a sad look back as they cuddled up closer together 

"how come?" danielle questions next as the sick girl shrugs her shoulders with a small smile, the shrugging of shoulders movement being one of the many limited things that didn't cause the dying girl pain 

"i dunno danielle, maybe because it was destined to happen. everything happens for a reason my love, and, this *adrienna referring to her situation of cancer* happened for a reason and, i'm blessed to have gone through it. even though i'm literally on the doorstep to my death, i couldn't have been any happier than how my life turned out i mean, i've lived my life, what more could i have lived for danielle?" adrienna smiled as danielle nodded her head, trying to hold her upset at bay over her sister-in-law 

"we're all gonna miss you, ari," the front door opened, revealing misha's dad, richard, adrienna's father-in-law as he walked over to the couch, the father and daughter-in-law sharing soft smiles with one another 

"awe, richard, i'm gonna miss you guys too but, i guess this is what was supposed to happen and, i couldn't have been any more grateful for the life i've lived," adrienna smiled, her voice soft and tender as music softly started to play from the radio that danielle had turned on, the song playing immediately recognised as already gone by sleeping at last 

and i want you to know, you couldn't have loved me better, but i want you to move on, cause i'm already gone. 

hearing the lead singer of sleeping at last sing that specific line was nothing but excruciatingly painful. no one wanted to even think about moving on from the loss of adrienna but, none more so than misha. he didn't want to move on, he was wanting to continue making his life with adrienna, have kids with her, get the renovations of their house done together so it was a home, and continue going on with supernatural together. all he wanted in his life was just to be with adrienna, no one else otherwise he wouldn't have gone to such lengths to show adrienna how much he loves and appreciates her if he was just going to simply move on. however, misha knew that that wasn't ever going to happen and was having to lose the one girl he wanted his forever with to then maybe one day down the line, "replace" her with someone else and have someone else's kids. and, that hurt misha more than any other pain in this world could hurt him. 

looking at you makes it harder, but i know you'll find another, that doesn't always want to make you cry. 

during the entire journey of adrienna's cancer, the amount of despair, tears and unknowingness that had been shed was way more intense than ever expected. especially by misha since he didn't think that one day his wife felt ill it would turn out to be cancer. and normally, misha was able to hold his tears back even though he has said he is an emotional person, however, it seemed as if seeing his wife in so much pain, no matter how well she had hidden it from him, it really seemed to knock down his wall of vulnerability. so, the number of times he would cry at the hospital, get emotional during a supernatural scene, maybe even an interview because of how worried he was about his wife, to crying at home, to even crying on his own was such an intense amount, it seemed neverending. when adrienna came to light about this situation, she did not think it was fair at all that misha was crying all of these tears and being so fearful. she believed that he should at least get a break because it seemed as if everything was converging and she hated it, she never wished to inflict such pain on her husband and extended family. adrienna firmly believed that misha at least deserved a break from crying every single hospital consultation because that was all he could ever do when being told what was happening with regard to his wife.  

it started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in, perfect couldn't keep this love alive. 

it was true when it was found out that when adrienna and misha had their first kiss at how perfect it was and how perfect their kisses, whether they were passionate, emotional, soft, slow, hard, quick etc. they were always perfect and they were always a meaningful thing for the married couple. meaning that, no matter how hard he tried, misha couldn't ever convince adrienna that she was going to be fine and stay alive, despite the desperate makeout sessions he'd initiate as he'd cry and pour his heart and soul out to his wife in the hopes that all of those kisses were going to be mixed in with the exact nonexistent cure that could keep his wife alive for the rest of their living days. no words or actions spoken by misha, however, could convince adrienna. she already knew and accepted that she was gone and that she had become peaceful with it because it no longer bothered her as much as it used to. meaning that, even if misha hadn't, she had accepted it and that was all that mattered to her, even though it broke misha immensely. she knew that his perfect kisses couldn't keep their love alive even though nothing else was wrong with it except for the fact that she was dying. 

you know that i love you so, i love you enough to let you go. 

adrienna smiled at her husband who had now arrived back home to austin alongside the rest of the supernatural cast, the song playing on the radio in the background 

"misha, i love you so much my darling. i know you'll find someone who won't leave you the way i have. okay, you have to promise me that you'll move on. i love you so much, my sweet boy. i'm giving you permission to let me go now that i've let you go," she spoke softly, the song seeming too quiet as it filtered into everyone's minds as background music, misha nodding his head hesitating at his wife's request, a small tear tracking his cheek 

"i love you too adrienna..." misha sniffled softly, pressing his cheek against his wife's, making her smile, giving her husband a peck behind his ear as he sniffled a few times 

everyone else watching on with broken hearts as they only wished they also had the same healing powers that misha wished he could have to save the love of his life. heartbroken as they watched their castmate and best friend go through the grief of having to become a widower so quickly after marrying the love of his life. of whom everyone thought they'd outlast every single person in the room because of how much they loved each other. 

i want you to know, that it doesn't matter, where we take this road, but someone's gotta go. 

it seemed as if adrienna's hospice care was stopped after she had suddenly fallen extremely ill, way too ill for anyone's liking, due to an infection in her bloodstream that absolutely mortified everyone. adrienna's oncologist, dr callahan however was taking the best care of her alongside the rest of his brilliant cancer team at the hospital as he handed her the medication. however, when adrienna took said medication, it was always a moment of subconscious fear and uncertainty as to the side effects that came with her prescribed medication really loved interfering with her and there wasn't always a 100% certainty that if she took a nap due to the fatigue, another side effect of the medication, that she would wake up from the nap and wake up without any complications. 

knocking lightly, dr callahan came into adrienna's hospital room to give the terminally ill girl her medication, "knock knock, here's your medication, mrs collins-sorry, adrienna," it always made adrienna smile and giggle slightly whenever dr callahan would always try to be professional with her and call her by her last name and she then smiled as he corrected himself 

"thank you so much dr callahan and, please, stop worrying about what to call me. if mrs collins slips out, let it slip out, it's fine," adrienna smiled sweetly as she gave a look towards her medication that had been placed next to her large glass of water 

"no worries and, thanks for the reminder and, also, after you've taken your meds, misha could you and the group please come outside with me as i need to have a chat with you all? thanks so much, i'll just be outside waiting," dr callahan smiled, not wanting to let anyone worry as everyone, including adrienna, nods their heads 

"course we can doctor, is everything okay?" misha responded, a tight smile forming on his lips as dr callahan just gave a faint look of uncertainty which for some reason gave misha the heebie-jeebies and a very unsettling feeling 

"thanks, misha," dr callahan smiled tightly as he then walked out of adrienna's hospital room to the hallway, finally able to catch his breath for this was the worst part of his job as an oncologist 

then, not even a couple of seconds after dr callahan left her room, adrienna took her medication and then a large gulp of water to help glide the medication down easier, placing it back on her side table, her husband gulping worriedly. misha's sister danielle quickly moved from the seat next to adrienna's bed so misha could sit there, instantly grabbing a hold of his wife's paled, weak frail hand, caressing it carefully for a few moments 

misha's pov

and i want you to know, you couldn't have loved me better, but i want you to move on, so i'm already gone, so i'm already gone.

finally, after a few moments of stalling after dr callahan had left, adrienna had finally taken her medication and was starting to relax as the side effects started to come over her. this meant that it was now time for me, my sister danielle, her sister alania and the rest of the supernatural family to go outside of adrienna's hospital room for our chat with dr callahan. and, in all honesty, we were all a little scared since usually, dr callahan only asks to talk with me whenever he has news about adrienna so, it only made my head spin. i was just so scared that my nightmare was going to come true; having to move on from losing adrienna and becoming a widower. 

"come on mish, we have to speak with dr callahan. let ari sleep, i'm sure she's a little tired and she has to now relax from her meds," danielle tried to get me to leave as i gave adrienna a small kiss before following after my sister, sister-in-law and supernatural castmates whilst everyone else sat in the waiting room 

"okay, fine. i love you so much, adrienna," i whispered softly to my wife, sighing as i gave her a small kiss on the head and i then followed after the small group to meet with dr callahan to chat with him 

on our way over to dr callahan, it seemed as if he was becoming more and more nervous and was no longer finding it easy to hide it like he was usually a master at. and this when inadvertently made all of us nervous about what he suddenly needed to tell us. 

"is everything okay, doctor?" danielle, my sister questions with a haste breath as the small group all look in between each other before back at dr callahan as he gulps 

"that's the thing miss collins, we-we seriously think that adrienna isn't going to be well enough to last the rest of the day today. although she may look okay, the looks are truly deceiving and it seems as if all of her recent tests are plummeting. if you noticed, which you possibly did, possibly didn't, the medication i gave her was slightly different to her normal--" 

"--code blue, i repeat code blue room 799a!!" hearing that suddenly ring over the intercom is truly something you could never get used to - dr callahan perks up straight away however, his flight instinct kicks in within seconds 

that was when we realised the room number that was just called over the intercom, suddenly interrupting what dr callahan was explaining to us...

 ...room 799a... that's adrienna's room! no, no, no!

"i...i am so sorry guys but, i need to rush off but, stay in the waiting room and wait until i come back!" dr callahan then almost panics, ushering us into the waiting room where the rest of our "party" of visitors were waiting for us, thinking we had already been told the new information

"wha-what, dr callahan! aren't you gonna finish telling us about adrienna's medication?" i splutter out in a slight bought of disgust and fear, my dad pulling me back as i tried to get out of his grip which failed - not that i was disappointed or mad at my wife's oncologist, i just didn't know how else to physically respond in any other way 

"i'm so sorry misha but, i seriously can't stay back. i really, really need to handle this emergency code. it's a code blue, i cannot have this patient dying! just please go into the waiting room and i'll speak to you later, i promise!" dr callahan called out, fear and so many other emotions i couldn't distinguish swimming in his eyes as he ran up the stairs that less than five minutes ago, not even, we just walked down as we watched chaos unfurl

within a second of just blinking every single medical professional that you could think of that works in a hospital was either running up those stairs behind dr callahan towards adrienna's room or was aggressively pressing the lift button to take the lift up to her room. 

"dr callahan, wait--" i tried to get him to explain to me more but, i was too late, he was way out of my sight now, no longer running up the stairs as i huff and step back, my dad's hand finding the small of my back 

it seemed as if straight away, my dad knew what was about to happen and that i was starting to panic because of the unknowing fact as to what was happening to my wife at this current moment in time. 

my breathing immediately started to get quicker, the panic quickly rising in my chest as dad tried to calm me down. he pulled me down the hallway, the last time i caught in my peripheral vision was my castmates going down the hallway a couple of doors down from where dad and i were. 

"ssh, misha, it's okay! everything's going to be fine, okay? maybe it was a mistake and adrienna was moved into another room." dad, bless his heart, was trying to think up ways to try and make me calm down yet, i knew what he was doing and, although i'd love to say it was working, it really wasn't helping much 

"that...that isn't helping dad!" i sniffled into his shoulder as he huffed dejectedly, wondering what to do as i just muttered something to him 

"play the song," i muttered softly into my dad's shoulder before he made some distance between us, his eyebrow shooting up in confusion 

"what song?" he asked softly as i smiled instantly at the thought, already gone, although it was a sad, breakup song, it was like adrienna and i's song as it related to her cancer diagnosis and her eventual, oncoming death 

"already gone, adrienna played it on the radio a couple of weeks ago, please," i mutter softly, dad nods his head without hesitation before grabbing out his phone and finding the song as it started to play 

remember all the things we wanted, now all our memories are haunted. we were always meant to say goodbye.

as the song played from my dad's phone, i was pulled right back into his embrace as it sort of became background music, closing my eyes and placing my head to his chest, his steady heartbeat being the calming cure. the music continued to play as many memories of my wife and me ran through my head as my dad just hugged me as though i was a little boy all over again. or back when he did when i was getting bullied for how "weird" i was as a teenager.

i want you to know, that it doesn't matter where we take this road, but someone's gotta go. 

it was then decided between dad and me that we would sit down as we both felt our legs were going to collapse from underneath us any second. we smiled at each other before dad allowed me to plop my head on his shoulder as the song continued to run its length. more memories that i had remembered over the years with adrienna came flooding into my brain as well as dad's as he smiled a smile that was a smile that adrienna, his daughter-in-law only saw. 

and i want you to know, you couldn't have loved me better. 

i smiled softly at hearing the singer of the song sing that line because it was true. i couldn't have loved adrienna any better than i already had done and the same goes for everyone else that adored adrienna. there was no way in which we could have loved my wife even more or even better. i heard so many times during her stay in the hospital that they had never seen a cancer patient be so positive and loved during her time of cheo that that was one of the only things that stopped my tears alongside adrienna's comforting hugs, oh and the endless supply of kleenex tissue boxes and soppy movies that we watched when we lived in the hospital for the first few months. 

but i want you to move, so i'm already gone, i'm already gone. 

"dad..." i whispered as it had now been close to a couple of hours maybe since the code blue for adrienna's room had been called out and we still had no answers for what happened 

dad then turned his head from my castmates as we had all since come back to the waiting room now that me and my castmates were less panicked and less emotional. dad gave me a small, soft smile that was comforting as he then responded. 

"...yeah mish, what's up son?" dad smiled, a small giggle leaving my mouth due to the "son" at the end of his response as we were all now equally worried about my wife and her condition 

"do you think that adrienna's okay?" i questioned softly, a worried expression painted on my face as dad huffed, his shoulders falling in a sad position as he bit his lip nervously 

"i truly don't know buddy. i wish i could say something else, we all do, but, i don't know and i am so sorry that i don't know," dad sighed with the saddest look i'd ever seen on his face as i just gulped and nodded my head slowly 

turning my head away to the empty hallway, i noticed who i recognised to be one of dr callahan's junior oncologists who worked with my wife, dr keating, he looked absolutely devastated and in distress. i decided i'd walk over to him to make sure everything was okay. using the chair to help me stand up, i kicked the pins and needles out of my legs and cracked my back before walking over. 

"guys, i'll be back, just wait there, i'm gonna have a chat with dr keating," i muttered as dad widened his eyes, also noticing dr keating as he looked over to danielle and my castmates in concern but let me go 

"okay, be careful misha," dad responded as i turned back around and started to walk, nodding my head in response to dad's response 

"i will," i whispered once i was out of hearing sight of the group as i softly tapped the junior oncologist on the shoulder as he looked up at me in a little bit of panic as i noticed his blue eyes were no longer blue, they looked as if he had just watched someone die

after tapping him on the shoulder, dr keating jumped at my touch but when his usually bright blue eyes looked into my blue eyes, i could tell something wasn't right. especially considering dr callahan was nowhere in sight. but even more so when dr keating grabbed me and pulled me into a hug, slightly scaring me before shortly after letting out a small cry as i felt my heart smash to the ground. the only patient that i knew that the other junior oncologists who were being mentored by dr callahan were working with was adrienna. i felt my lips and throat dry over, my biggest fear starting to settle in. 

"is...is everything okay, doctor keating?" i whispered softly, fearing the worst as dr keating sniffled, trying to speak as he pulled out of the hug 

"she's gone, misha," he softly cried out as i felt my heart sink, the physical pain creating a burning, cracking sensation in my chest as i felt my eyes tear up 

"adrienna's dead?" i whisper, trying to confirm what i already knew was confirmed as i saw his head nod as i tried to hold back an ugly sob that was building up in my throat 

"uhh, yeah *sniffle* sorry... she-she was going in and out of consciousness before her body just gave up on itself. the medications dr callahan had given her earlier in the day were slightly different dosages and brands to her regular ones because finally, at the last minute, adrienna had agreed to try to see if it was the medications that were making her sicker so, dr callahan thought if he changed them that maybe she'd get better again. so, since the start of this week, dr callahan and the rest of us had been trialling this new medication with her in hopes that it would work but, it-it didn't *sniffle* i am so sorry misha... we, we didn't think the medication would cause her to overdose..." dr keating was utterly devastated at losing adrienna which meant that dr callahan and the rest of the team were even more devastated as i clenched my jaw  

i couldn't do anything else but close my eyes and cover my face with my hand as dr keating didn't know how to comfort me anymore as i blinked back the tears to no avail as they quickly started to stream down my cheeks. 

"please...please don't apologise, dr keating, you guys and dr callahan didn't do anything wrong other than making my wife happier and comfortable whilst she was in the less comforting place you could ever be in," i cried out softly, sniffling a couple of times so my now runny nose wouldn't make a mess 

i then turned around to see my dad, my castmates jared, jensen, alex and rob, their partners and me and my wife's families all together in the waiting room. they all looked so anxious and hopeful, just wondering what was going on in regard to adrienna and why they were still just waiting with no answers. 

"thanks, misha, that-that really makes me feel better and would genuinely make the rest of the team feel better," dr keating whispers as we both wiped our tears as discreetly as we could 

"it's my pleasure, doctor, because it's the truth, doctor callahan's team made all the difference for my wife and made sure she was always taken care of, especially when i wasn't here," i spoke softly, managing a small smile of gratitude as i then looked over to my dad and the rest of the group as they tried to calm alania, adrienna's older sister which just destroyed me even more and made me feel a certain pain that i'd never wish for anyone to feel

 how was i going to tell them? 

it seemed as if dr keating could read my mind however, "do you want me to tell them, misha?" dr keating then asks, suddenly realising whom i was looking at, making me look back over to him as i furrowed my eyebrows 

"you sure, doctor? i-i can tell them if it's easier," i responded as my eyes grew bigger as doctor keating shook his head and ushered me with his head to follow me over to the waiting room where it was just the group for adrienna that was waiting in there

"no, misha, i'll tell them, it is my job after all. i was adrienna's second oncologist, after doctor callahan, so, the least i could do is save you the trouble and a lot more tears if i say it over you," doctor keating smiled small, a travel-size pack of kleenex pulled out of the pocket of his scrubs, handing them over to me as i chuckle slightly as i take them from him, placing them in my jacket pocket knowing that it wouldn't take too long until they'll be of great use 

"thanks, umm, thanks again, doctor keating," i responded back with a small smile, one of my hands resting in the jacket pocket that had the pack of tissues whilst the other one rested comfortably and we then walked over to the awaiting group as they stood up with hopeful looks 

it goddamn almost killed me to see all of my best friends and my family look so hopeful in the news about my wife and, it was so hard not to break down. most especially when i caught eye contact with my sister-in-law, adrienna's sister, alania, her hopeful look killed me tenfold as i fought so hard at shaking my head no at her. i tried so hard but, the look, that alania showed me back gave me the impression that she already knew what doctor keating was going to say and i was pretty confident that, that also broke my heart even more. 

"is adrienna okay, doctor? do you have any news on her? is...is my sister alive?" alania then questioned, my heart breaking at hearing her begging for her sister to be alive as doctor keating and i looked at each other before we took in some deep breaths 

"alania, guys, there is no easier way of saying this to you all as i know how much you mean to adrienna and how much she means to you but as i've already told misha; adrienna has passed away..." doctor keating spoke softly and with the same tone that he spoke to me in as a switch flipped in the group - their hopefulness now shattered as alania sobs and practically falls to the ground as i watched the way my sister followed her down to the ground and wrapped her arms around her and into a hug 

"and, the reason why she passed away was because of the new medication trial we had been giving adrienna since the start of this week in the hopes that it was her old medication that was making her sick and not cancer itself. the medication that doctor callahan tried to explain to you guys but wasn't able to. in a short summary, it was a trial medication that was of a different dosage to her old and original medication in the hopes it would help but, it wasn't the medication making her sick at all like we thought it was. so, basically, it wasn't cancer that caused the death but an accidental overdose of the trial medication that had been administered to her over an hour ago," doctor keating explained, his hands resting inside his nurse scrubs as i felt my heart break a second time if that was even logically possible, alania crying hysterically into my sister's shoulder as everyone else just looked as if they had disassociated so they could momentarily ignore the grief they were feeling - not something i ever want to see again because it was not my favourite sight at all 

"so, it...it didn't hurt her?" alania softly questions like a small child, managing to compose herself as i gulped, my hand reaching into my jacket pocket to grab a couple of tissues, one for me and one for alania 

alania should not have even had to of asked that question about her younger sister, whether or not it hurt for her to die. 

"no, it didn't hurt her at all, alania. it was the least painful death, she couldn't feel a single thing, it was as if she was falling asleep. you'll be able to visit her soon but, she just needs to be dealt with by our in-home coroner and then you'll be able to see her and say your goodbyes..." doctor keating speaks softly as he personally comforts each person, a hand on their shoulder and a handshake or hug, completely depending on what they chose as he spoke up again 

"once again, everyone, on behalf of me and the rest of doctor callahan's team, we are so terribly sorry and our condolences go out to you guys and everyone else that was personally affected by adrienna. but most especially to misha, her husband and the rest of her family. i have to, unfortunately, go now as i have more patients of doctor callahan's to attend to but, i will see you guys later, i promise," doctor keating smiled and brought me in for a hug after grabbing my hand and squeezing it, bringing me a surge of comfort as within seconds, he was back down the halls of the hospital, off to doctor callahan's other patients 

this was when it all came tumbling down around me, finally smacking me in the face that i was about to say my final goodbye to my wife and she wasn't even going to be able to squeeze my hand or comfort me like she used to be able to do. bringing the tissue up to my face, i just cried and cried, my left arm wrapped around my waist whilst my right hand covered my face with the balled-up tissue. i absolutely hated crying in the hospital because it always happened but, now, it was the final time i was ever going to be in this hospital and i won't even be able to bring my wife out of there alive and that stung. 

almost immediately, dad pulled me in for a hug, "oh, buddy, i am so sorry, misha," he was strong in his hug but absolutely weak in his words as he tried to soothe me but refused to let me go  

"she's gone, dad," i whimpered into his shoulder as my body wracked with sobs, making dad hug me even tighter as the group watched on 

it had then been decided that we wanted to leave the hospital, making doctor keating and doctor callahan aware that we were going to come in early tomorrow morning to farewell adrienna for, there was no way we were all emotionally inept to do it tonight. which allowed us a day in between to process everything and really allow the grieving process to begin for us all. they had both agreed in letting us do our farewells tomorrow and, now, i sat on the couch, tears streaming down my face still, as i became fidgety with my wedding ring, making the decision to make an instagram post of a few photos of my wife and me. not just because i knew it would bring me some comfort but because i knew that the supernatural family and just general fans of my wife and i, would also wish to know about my wife and what happened to her. 

remember all the things we wanted, now all our memories they're haunted, we were always meant to say goodbye

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misha whilst it absolutely breaks my heart to even write this caption and post it, it is with a heavy heart that i have to announce that my beautiful wife, adrienna collins has sadly lost her battle with leukaemia and died in the late hours of tuesday the 5th of july at 8 pm in the austin cancer centre of austin hospital in texas. adrienna was the absolute love and light of my life, she truly made me the happiest man i could have ever been. adrienna never ever failed to make me laugh and make me feel like i was the only person on the planet. i was always the centre of the universe and so was everyone else that my wife loved and adored. whilst it does hurt my heart to even think about it, the new supernatural interviews will be postponed for at least another month and we do apologise for any inconvenience. adrienna has always said since the start of her cancer diagnosis that if she was ever to die due to cancer or because of her medication that she would rather the interviews be postponed by at least a month than for me and the cast to work whilst grieving her loss. and that wish of hers has been granted and as i write this post, the cast and crew are having to sort out the promotion interviews in regard to our reasoning for the postponement of the new season. 

adrienna may have only been my wife for a year and two months but they were the best fourteen months of my entire life. she truly didn't care if she was only my wife for a week or forever, as long as we were able to have our wedding with her breathing properly and well enough to the point where she didn't need any help from breathing tubes or having to be wheeled everywhere in a wheelchair, she was happy with the way we got married. and, our wedding day is a day i'll never be able to forget even if i tried. i had never seen adrienna look so happy and relaxed until the day of our wedding. she just looked like an absolute angel and just writing this is bringing tears to my eyes because i know that whilst she is no longer here, she is still my wife and, i'm always going to love her. even if i do end up dating, proposing to, marrying and then have their kids with, i'm always going to talk about the first girl that i ever loved because she showed me what it was like to love because she is the definition of love. whilst my heart does hurt right now and will probably hurt for a while, i know i'll eventually be able to wake up every day and smile. but for now, i'll cry and i'll be sad and that's also okay.

i love you forever and always, adrienna collins. i'll never forget you because you were simply unforgettable and the true girl of my dreams, sleep tightly my angel.  

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alaniawalsh adrienna absolutely loved you so much misha and this was a beautiful tribute to her. i hope you never stop posting about her, even when you find the new love of your life, love you mish 🤍

misha alaniawalsh thank you, alania and i hope i don't stop posting or talking about her either, she truly was the one for me, even if i do find someone new. i love you too alania 🤍

jaredpadalecki love you misha. anything you need, i got it, as do jensen and everyone else. adrienna loved you so much and she'd do anything for you! my heart aches for you 🤍

misha jaredpadalecki i love you too jared and thank you, my heart aches as well 🤍

jensenackles reading this makes my heart ache for you misha. adrienna will never be forgotten and never forget how much she absolutely loved you and doted over you every single day 

misha jensenackles writing this made my heart ache. and i know she won't be forgotten and i know i'll never ever forget how much she loved me because she made sure to remind me all the time 

alexandercalvert i'm heartbroken for you, misha. we are all here to support you. we loved you both so much so anything you need, we'll take care of it because if anything, the only thing that's important right now is taking this month off from our show to grieve your wife so, fuck the show right now, don't even worry about it. i love you forever, misha! 

misha alexandercalvert i am heartbroken as well alex. and thank you so much, this means so much to hear and i love you too, alex! 

robenedict she'll never be forgotten, misha. adrienna was perfect and she was so loved by every single person that encountered her. 

misha robenedict i know she won't rob. and she was perfect and so very loved 

username oh, misha, i am so sorry my love! my heart breaks for you with this news, adrienna was an absolute angel. sending my love to the entire family 🤍

misha username thank you love, and my heart breaks having to even make this post and read all these comments even though they are so healing at the same time 🤍

genpadalecki adrienna will never be forgotten, misha and i promise you that, as does everyone else that knew her and loved her every single day! 

misha genpadalecki no, she won't be forgotten gen! i'll never let her be forgotten and i don't think you guys would allow me to forget her either! 

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alaniawalsh i can't even believe i'm writing this but i have to and it breaks my soul into pieces. as you all would have seen from my lovely brother-in-law's post, my sister adrienna collins died from a medical overdose of chemo medication at the austin cancer centre in the late hours of tuesday the 5th of july at 8 pm. and not at all in this post am i bashing my sister's oncologists or the hospital, it was not their fault at all as to why my younger sister overdosed and i will not tolerate any comments that may suggest that that is what happened because that is anything but what happened. my sister died because she willingly decided, like she put her own hand up, last minute to give a medical trial one last try and see if it was her old medication that was making her even more ill than she already was and was on a new medication this last week which unfortunately is the reason why she passed away, not because of medical negligence or anything of that sort. 

my little sister, adrienna amelia rose walsh collins was a beautiful girl. she was always a happy, fun, crazy little girl that always wanted to make other people smile and be happy like she was. she was fifteen when she met her future husband, dmitri "misha" collins and ever since that first meeting, had been inseparable so, that's why it's even more heartbreaking that they were only given the chance to be married for fourteen months, only a year and two months. my heart absolutely breaks for you, misha, that you had to lose your beautiful, angelic wife so early in your guys' marriage. it's absolutely not fair and i only wish it didn't happen. but if you do choose, later down the line or whenever you feel it's right to do so, fall in love with somebody new, just know that it's absolutely fine! you deserve to be happy and fall in love again, and there are no rules on how quickly or slowly how you do that. you are still so young that i promise you, one day, you'll find another beautiful girl and you'll fall in love all over again like you did with my sister. 

and i hope you know misha, that you are still a part of the walsh family, even though your wife and our sister and daughter are no longer alive with us anymore. you will always be my brother and you will always be my parents' son and that will not change, not even when you fall in love again. i will adore you until the end of time misha and i know my parents share the same sentiment and if there is ever a time you need us, we are always a phone call or a message away. we love you mishy 🤍

all of these photos that you see in this post are all of the best moments of adrienna. and yes, even the photo of my sister in the hospital is the best moment of her and this is why. even though the photo may not look it, throughout all of her chemo treatments and transfusions and other things, adrienna never failed to have a smile on her face and have a little dance and that was even if she was very sick or tired, she always managed to be happy and still feel blessed that she was still alive and well enough to get those treatments and transfusions. but, i do have to say that whenever adrienna and misha were together, that was when they were both the happiest and the most alive. when they were together, it was like royalty had entered the room, that's how it was like when adrienna and misha were together. i love you so much adrienna amelia rose walsh collins, they'll never be an adrienna collins like you ever again. rest easy my sweet angel 🤍

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misha bawling my eyes out reading this alania. this was so sweet of you! this means the world to me and more! these photos really do show the best moments of adrienna. love you more alania 🤍

alaniawalsh misha i was bawling my eyes out writing it! and of course misha, nothing will take you out of our family, especially not another girl. and i really do love those specific photos so that was why i chose them 🤍

officialbrianab oh, alania, this was a gorgeous post to your sister! just like you did her, she talked about you all the time 🤍

alaniawalsh officialbrianab thank you briana and i know, there were a few times that i overheard her talking about me and it warmed my heart every time 🤍

ruthie_connell adrienna was always so beautiful and these photos truly show that beauty. love you so much alania 🤍

alaniawalsh ruthie_connell she really was ruth, she was the definition of beauty and these photos really do show them. love you too ruth🤍

danneelackles512  your sister loved you so much alania. and your loving words to misha are tearjerking and i know just how much it means to him reading that! 

alaniawalsh danneelackles512 i know she did, dee, she loved you guys as well! and thank you, i just want him to know and to never forget that he still has us as a family no matter what because he always will 🤍

genpadalecki my heart breaks at reading this alania! your sister was gorgeous and she still looked beautiful when getting her chemotherapy and she truly loved you and misha so much. sending all my love to you and your family 🤍

alaniawalsh genpadalecki thank you for the words gen and she did love us a lot, she had so much love in her 🤍

username i'm sobbing reading this and misha's post. adrienna was truly one of a kind and was such a beautiful girl. and she truly does look beautiful when she's in hospital and that blows my mind. and it makes me so happy to hear that misha's still a part of your family 🤍

alaniawalsh username i was the same reading misha's as well love and writing my own didn't help me either and she was one of a kind. and misha was always going to be a part of our family, even if it did come to the unfortunate possibility of adrienna's premature death and the possibility of him finding someone else because we've known misha since he and adrienna were fifteen so there is no way we'd close our door on him after so many years 🤍

robenedict we all love you so much alania. just like misha is a part of your family, you are a part of our family. anything you need, we will give it to you 🤍

alaniawalsh robenedict love you more robbie and thank you so much, that means a lot and i know you guys aren't just saying that too 🤍

- - - 

phew, this was a lot! i am tempted to either do an alternate reality as i did with my other misha one where adrienna doesn't die but, it wouldn't make sense so i feel like i'd do a part two where misha falls in love again and marries again to a girl that is eerily similar to adrienna or is possibly alania, adrienna's sister because, if you guys noticed, i didn't give alania a partner so, maybe misha falls in love with his deceased wife's sister... who knows but i would like to do a part two because i feel like there is still more to this story i could share ya know? 

ok ily bye xx

wc; 10227

#misha collins #angst #sad as fuck #already gone #supernatural cast

[lolalovesu]

14 and 15?

hi angel!! thx for the ask xoxo

14. Favorite Conventional Weapons song?

burn bright !!!!! i actually have this reasonably good stick n poke of that really high up my thigh.. i'm gonna get it redone sometime tho just to fix the lines a little bit. it was done by my ex gf/mutual (yes both) but i honestly don't care about that lol i just think that's funny <3 anyways it's actually my fav my chem song in general

15. Favorite Conventional Weapons lyric?

can i choose a line from burn bright again? because "they always told me that 'you never get to heaven' with a love like yours" has killed me lots in the past and always will i think. but also when gerard goes "you made me who i am, be afraid of what i am". wait can i quote the whole song instead?

50 My Chemical Romance Asks

#mcr asks