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19burstraat · 6 months

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proving kaz is a tidemaker, even tho it's not canon and shouldn't be, but I'm gonna argue for it anyway

I already made this post ages ago and now this has been in my drafts for even longer, I just unearthed it... but I'm making it again, more in depth, bc I didn't hit on everything I wanted to last time. obviously this isn't canon bc the point of kaz is he's Just Some Guy and how that really really pisses off more powerful people, and I think that's definitely best, Kaz NEEDS to be otkazat'sya for his function in the story... but if you ever wanted to prove it in a fic, shit is EASY. (I am vaguely considering how it might work out in a fic. we'll see. I've done stuff that couldn't/I wouldn't want to be canon before with my jordie-lives fic, so...) I'll mostly talk in the context that he'd be a tidemaker bc I feel like that's the conclusion a lot of this comes to, but some of the points are more generalised.

obviously the basic argument everyone makes for this is that the reason kaz was able to get back to shore from reaper's barge is bc, subconsciously or not, as a tidemaker he could control the currents to help him, since that's one of the most basic tidemaker powers. in the harbour scene, he notices that the tide has moved to work against him, but it doesn't seem to prove much of a problem; he attributes it to his new will to survive, but... Well. Kaz is exceptionally good at withholding information, even in his own POV.

grisha not using their powers become ill or weaker; kaz isn't really physically ill but he has an element of the underfed and sallow about him that's generally attributed to living in the barrel.

kaz is also ESPECIALLY horrified by the state of mikka, the tidemaker under the influence of jurda parem at the start of SOC; this is attributed to his past trauma and his dislike for things he can't rationally explain, which, yeah, but he is thrown in a way we don't really see again for the rest of the series. he instantly thinks of jordie, and it's maybe the one time he succumbs to superstition in the whole series.

the obvious explanation for how kaz knew that coffee extract and paraffin hid the scent/evidence of grisha is that he's very clearly involved in smuggling (jesper mentions how coffee grounds were used when packing smuggled jurda shipments) but the second explanation,,, is that he uses them himself. he comes up with the solution with IMMENSE speed and he just like, has the coffee extract around. ok, sure, not that hard to get hold of, but still. and coffee gets mentioned in relation to him at least a few times, most noticeably the 'bitter coffee eyes' thing inej uses, which is amusingly romanticised, but also... inej why do you associate coffee w kaz... something you've noticed abt him?

(but then, you wonder why he didn't suggest this to jesper previously; the answer I'm sure he would give you is he did, when it was a problem. before that it wasn't a problem and jesper was doing fine at staying hidden on his own)

the gloves can also add to this one, since they presumably at least cover his wrists and therefore his pulse somewhat, though obviously that's not their main function.

recovers with startling speed from nearly drowning at the ice court; matthias has to get his breathing going again but he's almost immediately fine after. I know yk, heist fantasy book, gotta keep going, but still

kaz is almost completely correct about the methods, powers of, and appearances of the council of tides (one single thing, the method of hiding their faces, is wrong.) impressive, no...? he is also shockingly apathetic in the face of their threats; they fill his lungs up with water and he just coughs it up and then is like "lol" immediately after. this is funny no matter what the fact of the matter (major general of the idgaf war) but the fact his link to them is left hanging is also a thread that could be easy to pick up. I think it would be hilarious if he was secretly in the council, but I won't stretch it that far bc they clearly don't like him lmao, that would have to be a proper AU.

in the dregs, kaz has a corporalki (nina) and a materialki (jesper) but no etheralki. wouldn't it be prudent to recruit one, if he could find one? or maybe he doesn't need one. if he already has one around, for an emergency of emergencies... for a rainy day... (ha ha)

the way kaz's trauma is often described as manifesting, is with the rising of the harbour waters; so it's pretty reasonable to suggest that in suppressing that, he'd also, inadvertently or not, suppress any kind of tidemaker/etheralki impulse or power. possibly he can't even tell the difference between the two, or they're so tangled up he can't really separate them anymore, which is why he doesn't so much as even think to attempt to use it. still, if this was the case I think improvement with one would not necessarily improve the other, or vice versa. kaz hypothetically using grisha power he'd had suppressed would not magically make his touch aversion go away, I think that'd be weird, and I'd not want his PTSD to be passed off as solely being the sickness from not using grisha power, that's reductive as hell. but I can see them certainly being two things very much intertwined.

we don't know a lot about grisha who are native to kerch, but assumedly he'd not have had much cause to use it in his childhood, on a farm somewhere inland, so most, if not all, of his experience with using it would likely be irretrievably tied to ketterdam and jordie so no wonder he just wouldn't use it. I don't think he'd even see it as feasible. perhaps it would be a very very final resort, but he'd never let it get to that point, he'd always want to try something else first. and anyway, he'd not be trained.

the sankt vladimir story is also thematically quite close to Kaz; holding back the harbour waters until he's finally too exhausted and lets it drown him. I like this regardless of this analysis actually it's a good comparison. patron saint of the drowned and unlikely achievement....

even if kaz wasn't an otkazat'sya, after all that happened, I think he'd try very hard to pretend he was. it couldn't save jordie, therefore in his extreme as hell thinking around that entire thing, I imagine he'd reason it wasn't useful, that he could get on better without it, and, like jesper, think it was a liability.

this would add a wild layer to him being the one to have the jurda parem on him for almost all of crooked kingdom; it would make it feel like his plan z was to take it himself. certainly he'd sooner do that than let jesper take it.

and finally: thematically, it slays. like half of the imagery around kaz (and kanej) centres around water (think the bathroom scene, how he only washes in front of her, etc) and that plays into both of their trauma, plus religious imagery, all this... it's a fantastic bit of extra theming. it just doesn't really work with how his character operates.

basically I think you could DEFINITELY make it work and it'd be a killer fic but again it's one of those things, like jordie living, that I don't really want to be canon because it undermines something about kaz's character that I consider pretty critical; in this case, that kaz is not really endowed with any special power or circumstance, he's just bloody-minded and clever, but that's enough for him to pull off almost impossible jobs anyway.

#six of crows #crooked kingdom #kaz brekker #soc duology #soc #my post #six of crows duology #this has been in my drafts for sooo long lmao #it'd be an interesting fic but idk how I'd frame it. I'll have a think

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fatuifucker · 1 year

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third stream: desire for approval

[art cr: kuroume_1024 on twt]

bratty trans! streamer! scaramouche x dom fem-sex reader (they/them pronouns used for reader)

SUMMARY = how far would you go for attention?

WARNINGS = please view the sucker series masterlist for the full warnings! smut, penetration (reader giving), brat taming, asphyxiation, boobplay, use of the word “cunt”, use of pet name "angel" + "cumslut" + similar language, scara has nipple and navel piercings, womb tattoo, lingerie, self-sexualisation, codependence, unhealthy relationship, suicide ideation, self-harm, gender dysphoria, transphobia, attempted self-mutilation, implied domestic abuse

W/C = 2.6k

A/N = my word count is getting higher and higher be proud of me!! i was actually intending on writing a valentine's fic instead but uh ig you can take this as the late valentine's day fic instead lol. this may be my last x reader for a while for i would like to focus on more character x character. there are some zines im interested in participating and i want to have fics that i can use for my portfolio bc i don't think character x readers do good for zines lol oh yeah also little shoutout to the usernames featured in scara's stream!!

TAGS = @midnxght-sweet-time, @barbatosfavouritenun, @edenialucas, @huboi, @nejibot, @yumixxn, @teallapril

P-chan should be cute, pretty, handsome. Appearance-wise, they are perfect. Their gender doesn't matter but I want someone with a body like mine. I don't like nuisances so they have to be calm and collected. They have to be rational so they can comfort me and stop me from making impulsive decisions.

I want them to be independent but not too independent. They'll need me to command them like a pet. Maybe like a bunny? They could be that innocent-looking type but is secretly horny for me hehe. I'll have to work out the details later. But it's fine even if they are unsure about their personality. People like that tend to rely on the self-assured more. Maybe I could even dress up in the clothes I can't wear.

They won't be able to live without me.

—

“Ohh…it’s soh gud,” Scara moans, her tongue trailing up the melting popsicle before sucking on it. “Mmm…I might get addicted...”

The stream chat floods with comments; majority of it being provocative remarks. Just the reaction she intended. Although Scara hates to be sexualised by her fans, she knows that suggestive content rakes up the viewer count the fastest.

Almost halfway to a month, yet she hasn’t even reached half a million yet. She doesn’t have much time so even if that means that she has to whore herself like this…

“Mmm it’s sticking all over my fingers…” Scara licks the vanilla cream off her fingers, exaggerating her noises as she continues sucking on the popsicle. “It’s a good thing I took off my gloves. Or else it would have been allll over me.”

cauldron-of-anon: you know what else is creamy and drips all over

eunchaeluvr: I LOVE ICE CREAM

bubiblossom: god Im so happy I was born

cinshaberu: big…

leefrfr: that looks good

yourmomsucksme: YESYESYESYESYES

vermillionbun: THANK YOU SCARA

Scara giggles as she licks a strip up the popsicle. Hm, but it’s about time she ended the stream. All this sugary sweet stuff is cloying…ugh. She finishes the popsicle sensually and cleans her hands with a wet wipe.

“Thank you for the meal, it was delicious. I have to meet up with a friend so I’ll respond to the superchats another time.” Scara blows a kiss, mouse hovering over the ‘end stream’ button. “So long suckers!”

—

You’ve reached another milestone today. It’s funny how the other day, both you and Kunihiko were worried about his stagnancy. Today, he has surpassed 50k subscribers. Since this genre of streams garners the most viewers, maybe it’s okay to ask him to do more sexy streams. Probably not too much though. You don’t want Scara to come out as just another female streamer selling her body for clout. Conspiracy theories seem to do well…that goes for her ‘Scara Tries Things’ series. You’ll have to make her work harder these upcoming days, especially since she’s been slacking off lately. You’ve been trying not to push Kuni too hard but—

You blink as your phone is snatched away from you. “You’re still doing work?”

“Yes, that’s my job as your producer.” You stare at Kuni.

Your boyfriend scowls, grabbing your forearm. “Right now I need you to do your job as my partner.”

You don’t make any effort to resist as Kuni drags you like a ragdoll, grunting when he tosses you onto the bed. You sit there, waiting for Kuni to finish changing and give you your orders for the night. In the meantime, you occupy yourself by looking around.

Kuni didn’t have any requests for a themed room so you chose a classy one. The room was laden with rich reds and blacks, a jacuzzi and a drawer stocked with condoms, lube, all the essentials. In truth, it looked like any expensive hotel room, except that the fee for this one was much cheaper that any 5 star hotel. The good thing about love hotels is that they are soundproof — meaning Kuni is going to make you fuck him all night so he can savour the experience of moaning as loud as he wants without alerting the neighbours. Speaking of which, he wanted you to wear something, didn’t he? It should be the one on the table…

Unveiling the contents of the paper bag reveals an angel-themed lingerie set. The bodysuit is made out of fine white satin, decorated with ribbons at the shoulder straps, tulle around the hips, and etched with cloud patterns. Matching the set of white ribbon garters are sheer cloud-covered unattached sleeves that look like it extends past your elbows, looping around the middle finger to partially cover the top of your hands and leaving the rest bare. Without batting an eye, you shed your clothes off and dress yourself in the gifted outfit.

“Are you done?” Kuni calls from the bathroom after a few minutes.

“Yes.”

You sit on the bed, watching as your boyfriend exit the bathroom. A devilish grin rests on his carmine-lined lips as he sashays in black stilettos. He’s dressed head to toe in black leather — from the bodysuit, to the arm sleeves and stockings — but the bodysuit specifically emits a sort of polychromatic glow, shifting to a shimmering purple under the fluorescent light. The whole outfit hugs his body tight, squeezing his body in certain areas that pulls attention to the exposed skin spilling out his thighs and his chest… Your gaze darts back to his eyes, heart thumping upon realising that he is right in front of you.

Kuni chuckles. “What? You embarrassed?” He takes your hand, placing it on his chest. “Don’t be. I wore this just for you, you know?” Entranced, your eyes follow the movements of his other hand, watching as he unzips the zip on his waist, pushing down the waistband to display the pink, heart-shaped tattoo on his pelvis; resembling those typical womb tattoos you see in hentai. “You’re my sweet, obedient angel. And you’re going to reward this naughty succubus for working so hard for the both of us.” Kuni shoves you down on the bed, letting you sit in your state of shock as he purrs into your ear. "Get your toys. They are on the bedside table."

Sure enough, there's your bullet vibrator and buttplug; the ones Kuni asked you to bring today. You turn the motor to its maximum speed, goosebumps all over your skin as it makes contact with your sex. Next goes the plug, which you make sure to lubricate before inserting it into your puckered hole. When you lift your head, Kuni’s stinging violet gaze is locked upon you, a smirk on his carmine lips as he plays with his covered clit. You immediately turn your attention down, removing his underwear with hurried fingers and latching onto the swollen bub.

Soft thighs wrap around your head as your tongue switches its focus on his leaky cunt. Juices drip all over your tongue as you dive into him, eating him like a gourmet buffet. The whir of the vibrator reverberates off the insulated walls, rousing the fire in your groin that stupefies you into shaking your ass, savouring the sensation of your hole squeezing around the plug. Your eyes flit back up to your lover, his lust-filled eyes fixed onto you. His cunt oozes with ambrosial nectar, and you lap it up like a starved creature, goaded by his saccharine moans. A squeal reveals the arrival of his high, manicured nails digging into the sheets before vitality deserts him, leaving him laying limp on the bed.

The strained, rapid breaths becomes the only source of sound in the room once the motor is turned off. What fills the space of silence is rustling, followed by a click and then followed by a wet noise of viscous liquid. Kuni spreads his legs as your body hovers over him, a tired look on his face. He senses your hesitation.

“Don’t give that look,” he sneers. “I already gave you permission to ruin me. Unless…” he juts his bottom lip out, eyebrows lowered in a display of mockery. “you’re backing away now because you realised you can’t do it. No matter how cool, calm and controlled you think you are, I’m the one who holds dominion over you. Without my orders, you’re hopeless. You don’t know what to do because I’m the one who holds the power. Without me, you’re— ah!!”

His back arches into a crescent as the strap spears him without warning. Without giving him time to adjust, you’re grinding your hips against his, slamming the cock in and out while he cries in pleasure.

“Yes, yes, yes! Use me! Break me! Fix me! Oh god, please, please, please—!”

The force of your thrusts jostles Kuni against the bed, incandescent light shifting the polychromatic purples of his collar that just beckon you to wrap your hand around the thin neck. The added pressure around his neck makes him mewl in delight, hands guiding your free hand up his hips, past his navel piercing, and landing on his chest.

“Touch my boobs…” he rasps.

“I don’t recall giving you permission to order me around,” you say with a bite in your voice, tugging on one of his nipple piercings to make him squeak. “Do I have to punish you for your insolence?” Nonetheless, you turn your attention to his chest, peppering it with kisses and hickeys, suckling on his nipples, all to make the little brat writhe under you.

“(Name)...” he whines. “Punish me, ruin me, I don’t care! I don’t care about anything as long as you need me— aah…think of me and no one else! Want only me, love only me, love me, love me, love— haaah~!! I’m cumming, I’m—!”

His orgasm is signified by a shower of translucent strings streaming out of his soaked cunt, essence staining the floor and sheets in splatters. Kuni wheezes for air once you release the hold on his neck, arms wrapping around you as he basks in the momentary peace.

“Are you okay? Was I too rough?”

“I…I can do it again…” he says in between breaths, pushing himself up with his elbows. “Come on, I’m your…I’m your succubus, aren’t I? You…you have to punish me…”

You shrink back. “Kuni, I really think you need a break—”

A sudden weight thrown onto you interrupts your monologue. You blink, seeing your smirking boyfriend has switched positions with you; with you now underneath him while he’s on top of you.

“Oh I’m much stronger than you think. This body is curated for you…for all of your desires and wants. So, do your worse,” He cusps your cheek, lips covering over yours. “and dig in.”

Kuni kisses you with fervour, determined to infect you with his lust. An unwelcome sense of unease churns instead.

—

The sharp pain makes Kuni's body tingle with adrenaline, foggy eyes watching scarlet sanguine spill out the wound. His chest rises and falls as he pants, shaking fingers bringing the bloodied blade to slash an untouched portion on his wrist. He lets the high consume him, a penumbra that suppresses the emotional turmoil threatening to boil over the messed up pot that is him. Yet that high is all-consuming, and it begs for more. Cloudy indigos flit up to the mirror, a blurry figure reflecting back his ugly existence and that ugly chest that proves of his inferiority as a man.

"Cut your hair? But you’re the most beautiful with long hair."

"Where did you get those shorts? A pretty girl like you should wear dresses."

"Why does she dress like that?”

"Huh? But…you’re a girl."

Shut up, shut up.

”Kuniko, do you really think that anyone in this world will accept you as a boy?”

Shut up, shut up, shut up shut up shut up—

"Do you want to bleed out?"

Kuni ignores the way his raised hand trembles, grumbling as he glares at the person standing by the door. "Wasn't intending to. But if I die from blood loss, it wouldn’t be a bad thing either."

"I would be upset." You take a step forward, stopping when he inches the razor closer to his chest. "You know, if you wanted to get rid of them, we could always visit a professional. Surgery would be safer–"

“Do you think I give a shit about my safety?!” Kuni screams, beads of tears pouring like a waterfall. “I want to die! I don’t want to exist anymore, why don’t you get it?!”

“What makes you think that I don’t?”

“You…you…” Kuni swallows, his dry mouth making speech a burden.

“Maybe I don’t want to live either," You say. "but I still want you to survive.”

Kuni laughs dryly. “How selfish of you.”

“How ironic of you of all people to say that."

He doesn’t respond to that.

“I need you just as much as you need me. We can’t survive without each other.”

“I know.”

“I’m here because you want me to stop you. You want me to make you feel better.”

“...Yes.”

“How do you want me to do that?"

“...Hold me."

A trace of warmth swathes him; barely there but still enough. Kuni leans against the cold wall, quiet sobs echoing through the tiny room, caged in this claustrophobic space. The air is cold and suffocating, but he knows it will be okay because you’re here. It will be okay, because (Name) is here. (Name) is always with me. (Name) can never leave me. He closes his eyes, letting your gentle scent waft into his nose. He takes apart the scent: an amalgamation of lavender, sandalwood and sage, like the aromatherapy candles he lights. If he focuses, he can feel your warm, calming breaths brushing against his ear, reminding him that you’re there. You’ll always be there for him, and nothing will change that. It takes a while but slowly, his breaths even out, settling into a steady cadence.

You let go of him. His eyes are fixed on the floor.

“Are you okay?” You ask, caressing his dishevelled locks.

His gaze doesn’t leave the floor. “I can handle more than this.”

The sound of muffled shouting interrupts the quiet conversation. Kuni winces, looking at the direction of the disturbance. He recognises the voices but tunes out the repetitive string of words, palms cupping his ears while his back slides down the wall. The voices get louder and louder, accompanied by clashes of porcelain and the collide of wood against other household objects. He doesn’t register that he’s shaking until the familiar warmth surrounds him again.

“Let’s watch KAngel.”

—

[You received a text from Kuniku<3!]

Kuniku<3: (name)

Kuniku<3: ur asleep right?

Kuniku<3: couldnt sleep so i went out for a walk lol

Kuniku<3: i brought along the switchblade u bought me

Kuniku<3: in case a perv wants to catch a case hehe

[Kuniku<3 is typing…]

Kuniku<3: hey

Kuniku<3: you know i hate being alone right?

Kuniku<3: whenever you leave me for too long

Kuniku<3: im afraid that you realised you dont need me after all

Kuniku<3: i have to rely on you

Kuniku<3: but do you still need me?

Kuniku<3: or do i have to make you depend on me more?

[Kuniku<3 is typing…]

Kuniku<3: i want to disappear

Kuniku<3: i want to die

[Message Deleted]

Kuniku<3: hope my favourite cumslut got a good rest <3

Kuniku<3: i’ve been doing a good job right? sooo u will give me a break right?

Kuniku<3: i took the liberty of picking date ideas so what do u wanna do??

[Your answer]

#genshin impact smut #genshin impact x reader smut #genshin smut #genshin scaramouche x reader smut #scaramouche x reader smut #genshin scaramouche smut #scaramouche smut #genshin wanderer smut #wanderer x reader smut #genshin wanderer x reader smut #wanderer smut #trans scaramouche #afab reader #sucker au #sucker series #needy streamer overload au

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lazyflan · 2 years

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Hi!! Can i request some jealousy hcs for Riddle, Azul, and Vil when MC keeps getting confessions from RSA students (but ofc MC rejects them politely). Em hella thirsty for some jealousy stuff :'00

...Hi

Please don't kill me for dissapearing from the twst scene for almost a whole year?

But I'm back on my bulshit, so for anyone who remembers this blog, welcome back, if y'all are new, the masterlist and rules are on my profile ;)

Rn I'm centering on not nsfw stuff bc I'm mostly writing at my uni and I'm no /that/ shameless yet, but feel free to drop some requests,

Anywayyys, this is wayyyy too late, sorry about that, but if anyone is still craving jealous bois here I am back ;)

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Riddle:

-He may think he is above being jealous, but the moment he sees someone confessing to you it’s over for him.

-He usually sees the NRC vs RSA feud from afar, he would rather not involve himself with it, but the fact that its specifically RSA students confessing have him considering his stand on the matter.

-The breathing exercises he was taught after his overblot is the only thing stopping him from raging and offing someone’s head.

-Might try to keep you close to scare everyone else who dares to even think about confessing.

-May pout a little, maybe be a little cold to you after witnessing some confessions, but he rationally knows it’s not your fault, give him something sweet (preferably your own cooking or Trey’s) and he will just huff and take your hand shyly.

Azul:

-Our boy may put a tough front, but he is still very insecure about your relationship, expect small gifts to start appearing around, he wants to make sure you know he loves you.

-He might start taking you out more often to dates, both to consent you and to show everyone that you already have a boyfriend.

-Make sure he knows you love him too tho, unless you want a sad and pouty octopus in your hands.

-He also may use his contracts to prevent more people to confess.

-And if there are many boys asking you out, expect the tweels to make an appearance as personal guards thanks to Azul.

-The RSA as a whole may suffer a little bit thanks to Azul scheming, only enough for those RSA guys to stop coming.

Vil:

-On one side he is proud, of course everyone is falling for you, your natural beauty has to be adored.

-On the other side, he is slightly jealous, he knows you love him, and he will not shy away of loudly proclaiming you dating status with him but seeing the amount of people who confess despite knowing you are already dating gets on his nerves.

-Those RSA boys are not even in your league, how do they dare to even try?

-He will make sure to spend more time with you and shoo everyone who dares to try to get close if needed.

-And if Rook is tasked to hunt the people Vil misses, well, only both of them will ever know about it.

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst headcanons #riddle rosehearts #azul ashengrotto #vil schoenheit #twisted wonderland headcanons #twst x reader #twst riddle #twst azul #twst vil

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fireflykaizoku · 1 year

Text

Law x Reader | When You Remember Me | Chapter 1

i wanted to finish it (and maybe finish posting it on wattpad) before posting here BUT i'm gonna post anyway. i also may change some stuff from the wattpad version bc i think some changes needed to be made ever since i started writing it🤷‍♀️

You were too distracted listening to music on your earphones while making your way to the bus stop after a long day of work. That day, everything was so stressful that your mind was wandering, wishing you could be at home as soon as possible.

You didn’t even pay attention to your surroundings, and by the time you realized, the car was already too close for you to have any reaction. You couldn’t even jump out of the way, find a way to escape.

Everything happened too fast and whatever happened after that was a blur. Or more like a fog, a blank.

You opened your eyes slowly. The pounding headache and the lights made this simple task a bit difficult. It looked like you were a bit dizzy and weak. By this time, you were starting to freak out, wondering where you were and why you were there. You don’t even remember leaving your home.

— I see you’re finally awake, (Y/N). — a husky voice that seemed too far was the first thing you heard. You turned your head way too fast to look at who was talking to you, making your head hurt even more and making you flinch in pain. However, you could see a dark haired man with tattoos and piercing eyes. He looked a bit serious, and by the name tag, you could see he was Dr. Trafalgar Law. — Take it easy, you’re recovering from the accident. So don’t make any sudden movements, alright?

“Accident”? Did he just say “accident”? You took your hand to your head, only to feel bandages and seeing scratches all over your arms.

— We still need to run a few tests still. — he continued as he read what seemed to be your files. — We’ll also need to keep an eye on you for a couple of days. If everything is normal, you’ll be free to go, alright?

He waited for your answer long enough. The man moved closer, placing his hand over yours, making you move away from his touch. Why was that doctor being that intimate? You were about to push the emergency button when his words made you stop.

— Love, I know it’s scary. But you know I’m here with you. I’ll try take a couple days off to take care of you if you need, alright?

Wait, what? “Love?” What was he talking about? He was probably delusional due all the hours working, or he was thinking you were someone else. Or maybe it was his own way to talk to his patients.

— I’m sorry, doctor. — your weak voice said, trying to stay away as much as you could. — But I think you’re confused. And this is probably against the law. You as a doctor should know that the relationship between a doctor and a patient should be not more than professional. Now I want to request another doctor.

At first, Law thought you were only joking, which seemed to be a good sign for him. It was a bad moment for a joke, but it was still a good sign. A sign that you were alright even though you hit your head on the floor when you fell. But when Trafalgar noted your serious, and even angry, features, he knew it wasn’t a joke.

Apparently, things were way more serious than he was expecting.

— (Y/N), I need to know if you’re talking seriously or if you’re joking. — he got up, starting to write on a paper he was holding. — You don’t remember me?

Why should you?

— I’m sorry, doctor. Should I know who you are? — when these words left your mouth, Law tried to be rational like the doctor he was. Even though it wasn’t your fault or his faut, and even though amnesia after a concussion like yours was a possibility, it broke his heart.

It wasn’t just a joke of yours.

You didn’t remember him.

And if you didn’t remember him, it made Law wonder: what else didn’t you remember?

— Okay, we’ll run exams as soon as possible. I’ll call the nurse to bring you some food for dinner… I’ll call your family as well and… We’ll… We’ll see what we can do now. — the tattooed doctor left the room quickly.

His reaction made you worry. You knew something was very wrong, and you wouldn’t leave that hospital and go back to your normal life so soon. More than that, you were left in that room without a good answer about your situation.

The hospital food wasn’t as bad as you thought it’d be. The soup was decent, the orange juice probably wasn’t fresh, but the vanilla pudding was good enough for your taste. It seemed like an opportunity until Law came back, only to find you messing with the remote, trying to find something to watch and trying to find the remote for your bed.

The man sat by your bed and took a deep breath, still holding a notepad and a black pen.

— (Y/N), tell me, what do you remember? — you looked at him with a puzzled look. You remembered many things. — What is the last thing you remember before waking up here? — he completed.

You tilted your head and looked up trying to think. It felt like trying to force your brain to remember something specific was hurting your head somehow. Because you don’t remember anything that could lead you to the hospital. So you decided to tell what you thought were your last steps that day.

— I woke up, got ready, ate breakfast and went to work. By the time my shift was done, I had to hurry because I needed to go to college in a few minutes… — before you could finish your sentence, the man interrupted you.

— College? — he widened his eyes. Why was he that surprised? Was he thinking you couldn’t get a degree? — (Y/N), you graduated 4 years ago.

You looked at him in disbelief and then started laughing, which made your head hurt again. For a man who looked so serious, he was good at making jokes. It was probably his way to make patients feel better or something.

— You’re very funny, doctor. But no, I still have a semester left. And I should get going, because I still have homework to do. And I really need to rest, my head still feels weird.

— I’m not joking, we’re in 2022. You graduated 4 years ago. — his voice tried to sound as calm as possible, but to be honest, he was starting to freak out. Apparently, you forgot everything for the past 4 years!

Law was an amazing doctor, and rarely let any sad or extreme cases get to him, but it was you. The love of his life. Of course he’d be affected by your case.

If you don’t remember graduating, then it meant you didn’t remember meeting him a year later.

#trafalgar law x reader #trafalgar law #one piece x reader #one piece #one piece scenario #law x reader

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therhythmafterthesummer · 10 days

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Hello you! I’m new to your ~lore~ and I noticed you like talking about your characters (which is vvv cute btw!) so I was wondering what are some complications that pretty and Chris face within the relation?? Since she’s human? This is my first werewolf au so bare with me but when I started it I thought “they’re never gonna have sex” bc I thought it’d be too… difficult for the human.. but yeah that’s just a example I also mean non sexual stuff if there is any!! Mwah

warms my heart that you think it's cute and not annoying as hell sidfnsikjdfn i can imagine it might be for some people.

i really do love talking about these things! so much so, i'm gonna have to put a cut here because damn, this got a bit long.

so, here's what i think:

when it comes to complications in a werewolf x human relationship like pretty and chris'... in their case specifically, the mechanics of sex isn't a problem. their bodies are highly compatible. what could potentially be a problem would be chris' supernatural strength. he definitely could hurt pretty if he let's go of himself a bit too much, but i think that on a subconscious level he's so attuned to her it's very unlikely that something like that could happen.

i feel like the biggest problems could come more in the emotional/social department. the pace at which werewolf x werewolf relationships develop isn't the same as it'd be in a werewolf x human one. chris was ready for anything almost as soon as they got together, i'm pretty sure. marriage, mating, puppies, anything. he was absolutely ready to settle down because that's just how werewolves are. 0 chill when it comes to these things. whereas pretty is just a human. we're more complex in that department, i fear.

so at the beginning of their relationship he was probably restraining himself a lot (we've seen it in some drabbles and such. like the mirror one... man was going through it).

then there's also the fact that, as an alpha werewolf (and THE alpha of the pack), there's this unspoken thing that what he says is gospel (even when he tries his best to not fall too much into this dynamic). even though pretty is a member of the pack and is affected by his status to some degree, her being human means there's more mental resistance when it comes to any "order" he might give that she disagrees with. if they don't communicate well, their arguments could be monumental (kinda like what happened in afraid to lose you).

oh, and his possessiveness... that could also get pretty complicated (not to say toxic) if he doesn't make the conscious effort to not let it get the best of him. pretty would also have to learn to understand these things, some times he might get very uncomfortable if she's too close to another male/alpha or he might want her to do things a certain way. just like chris tries his best to be rational, pretty also tries her best to accommodate his instinctual needs (within her boundaries, of course). again, communication is key.

there's probably also the whole societal thing when it comes to a hybrid relationship like this one. some werewolves would probably think chris is crazy for "lowering" his standards like this (their words, not mine!) instead of finding himself a pliant omega to mate with. this is something we know affects pretty to some level, making her insecure that she might not be enough and such. but chris couldn't care less, honestly. that's his prettiest, she's perfect as is.

that's all i can think about right now! feel free to let me know if i'm not making any sense or if i should clarify something further. i tried my best sjkdhfkjsdf

#anon #ask #wereroomies ask #wereroomies headcanons

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zhaoly · 8 months

Text

been contemplating some stuff bc of the whole thing with halsin's writing

and this is a thought that I've had for a while since I came from the dragon age games (specifically origins in this case) but... like... I'm just so so over devs using sexual trauma and rape as plot devices

I think more often than not it's handled really poorly, especially if it's a character/companion that you're supposed to interact with a lot and not just a throwaway side lore detail. with DAO it wasn't a major theme in a companion's background but there were some pretty heavy themes of just... rape in general re: broodmothers and some of zevran's background stories.. and i'm just like... i'm! over! it! (and i love that game)

as a disclaimer, i've seen people saying that astarion's story actually deals with this topic in a respectful and meaningful way--i can't speak to that for myself bc i haven't played it yet--and i won't say that it's impossible to write this well into a character's story, but just that my personal opinion in general is that you really. don't need rape and SA to write a meaningful story

i understand that some people might look at halsin's story and say, poor bby he's dealing with trauma from the three years he was used as a sex slave and we need to be able to help him overcome it and i'm like... we don't though. we really DON'T need his character to have been tied up and raped for three fucking years in the name of "character development." we really DON'T need him expressing that it "wasn't all bad" and there were "positives" to it. and we really DON'T need the fans bearing the burden of trying to rationalize this as his coping method since there's no actual rational explanation of both why they wrote this in and how they wrote it.

i honestly don't believe for a second that that drow scene and dialogue was written with the level of nuance and depth that people want to believe. i'm not knocking on people for wanting to believe it, just that i'm taking this at complete face value and think this was treated as a "haha yeah i was a drow rape slave for three years, funny little tidbit about me!" moment (after he fondly chuckles about the drow courtesans remind him of his youth, no less) and nothing more.

i also highly, highly doubt that they would ever have written a female halsin. if they changed nothing but making him a woman, i can guarantee that shit wouldn't have made the final cut. but somehow it's okay for halsin's character to have all of this sexual trauma and be a literal rape slave for three years and then to brush it off as something "not without its positives" like COME on

we can do better with character stories

that's just my onion

#halsin #baldur's gate 3 #bg3

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katnissmellarkkk · 2 years

Note

hi bestie! any drabbles of everlark in district 13, assuming they were both originally rescued that you could bless us with?🥰 maybe along the lines of Katniss going to visit Peeta’s bunk during the Capital’s bombing on 13 bc she knows his family isn’t there to share his space with him (and also bc she’s in love with this boy & starting to realize that)? :)

P.S omg pls never doubt your skills as a writer. I’m a big-time rhetoric major & think that your characterization & writing in general is one of the best!!! (and I’ve read A LOT of everlark stuff hahah, but they never hit the same as yours always seem to!) 💖

Hi, anon my bestie!!!! Okay so I started writing this like forever ago and it got lost in my drafts so I just found it again 😭😭😭. But better late than never, am I right? Please say I’m right 😅. Well anyways, I hope you enjoy this! I got a little carried away but I think I generally followed your prompt. And I can honestly say this is my favorite thing I’ve written in a while 🥳. And I don’t say that lightly. So I hope you and anyone else who reads this likes it too 😘❤️.

Oh and thank you for the compliment, you’re so sweet 🥲.

That's when the first bomb hits. There's an initial sense of impact followed by an explosion that resonates in my innermost parts, the lining of my intestines, the marrow of my bones, the roots of my teeth. We're all going to die, I think. My eyes turn upward, expecting to see giant cracks race across the ceiling, massive chunks of stone raining down on us, but the bunker itself gives only a slight shudder. The lights go out and I experience the disorientation of total darkness. Speechless human sounds--spontaneous shrieks, ragged breaths, baby whimpers, one musical bit of insane laughter--dance around in the charged air. Then there's a hum of a generator, and a dim wavering glow replaces the stark lighting that is the norm in 13. It's closer to what we had in our homes in 12, when the candles and fire burned low on a winter's night.

I reach for Prim in the twilight, clamp my hand on her leg, and pull myself over to her. Her voice remains steady as she croons to Buttercup. "It's all right, baby, it's all right. We'll be okay down here."

My mother wraps her arms around us. I allow myself to feel young for a moment and rest my head on her shoulder.

Out of the corner of my eye though, another figure captures my attention. Broad shoulders and strong back muscles — that not even the food rationing here in Thirteen could make lanky — look unusually hunched in the bunker’s dim light.

I wait for a long moment, anticipating another bone rattling explosion to sound. When none do though, my legs act on their own accord. I slip out from beneath my mother’s arm, murmuring to her and Prim that I’ll be right back.

Neither of them humor me with an answer. They both are well aware of what direction I’m heading towards. Of who I’m heading towards. And they know I probably won’t be back any time soon.

Ever since being rescued from the Quarter Quell, I’ve become more and more drawn to Peeta than ever before. He visited our home in Victor’s Village often enough after our first games, at first to just keep up appearances for the cameras, and then later on to keep me entertained while waiting for my foot and tailbone to heal. But not even his presence then compares to how clingy we’ve become to one another now.

My mother doesn’t even keep up pretenses anymore, always biding me a sleepy goodnight as I tiptoe by her bed. At this point, she is well aware of my tendency to slip into Peeta’s room after dark, to crawl between his sheets and into his arms whenever my nightmares come knocking. And she doesn’t even bother hiding this knowledge.

Not even Gale can pretend to be oblivious at this point. I sense his gaze on me now, his eyes locked on my back as I reach Peeta, sitting alone under the giant M, with not a single family member in sight. All others who share his initial are grouped off with their loved ones, leaving him to sit in this damp bunker in total solitude.

“Peeta,” I say quietly, alerting him of my presence. He jumps at the sound of my voice, clearly lost in the quiet his isolation provided.

But he recovers relatively quick and wordlessly reaches for me, wrapping an arm around the small of my waist as I sit down on his lap. Before he can say anything though, President Coin’s voice bleeds through the intercom system.

She thanks us for making a swift and orderly trip to the underground shelter, despite being given only a two minute evacuation warning. She also orders everyone to please stay with their assigned groups, beneath their initials.

“Oops,” I murmur dryly, shooting Peeta a guiltless look.

He snorts loudly, earning us some strange glances from the people nearby. Either because of our disruption or because Katniss Everdeen— who everybody in Thirteen knows by full name — is sitting with the M’s and clearly breaking protocol. I wonder if any of these citizens in Thirteen have ever even broken the rules themselves. Or even bent them a little. It’s hard to guess, with the way this place is run. It seems like no one, not even men three times my size, have the nerve to challenge their leader.

Which means to them, we must look like complete rebels.

But neither Peeta nor I care at all. Coin has never been the biggest fan of me and the feeling is completely mutual. She did like Peeta originally. From a distance, before they ever met, that is. Before any of us knew District Thirteen was still alive after all these years and someone named President Alma Coin even existed.

But Peeta and Coin’s first meeting soured him almost immediately on her leadership. I don’t know if it was her insistence that the hospital release us both to film propos before we were ready and recovered — me from the aftereffects of the concussion Johanna Mason gave me, Peeta from the knife wound he sustained as he snapped Brutus’ enormous neck — or if he just didn’t like her point blank, after finding out she tried to get the hovercraft to leave me behind in the arena. But either way doesn’t make much of a difference at this point.

Coin’s feelings for either of us one way or the other doesn’t affect where we are right now. Sitting in a dim bunker, hoping that Thirteen is as prepared for a brutal, nuclear attack as the president claims.

And if there were any issues with me sitting in the M section, I’m sure my upcoming wedding date would help clear them up.

I must be shivering — out of anticipation and dread or from the chilled underground air seeping through the material of my standard issue jumpsuit — because Peeta’s hand subtly moves from my waist to rub circles on the small of my back. “What’re you thinking about?” He asks a few seconds after Coin’s voice fades out from the audio system.

And I know I could make up an utter lie but I don’t even have the wherewithal to think of one. So instead I just blurt out the truth. “I’m trying to think of just about anything besides my father.”

His brows knit together in utter confusion. “Your father?”

“He died in an underground explosion,” I remind, watching as comprehension flickers quickly across his features.

“Katniss,” he murmurs empathetically. “I didn’t even think about that.”

I shrug it off though, wanting to move my mind further away from images of collapsed mines and mangled bodies stuck underground with no way out.

I never actually saw my father’s dead body, of course. After the mines exploded, they told my mother there was nothing left of him. That’s why for months after he died, a part of me couldn’t accept that he was really gone. My eleven-year-old brain couldn’t wrap itself around the idea that he would never again walk through the front door at nightfall. That he would never again sneak into my room in the morning to kiss me goodbye before he left, making every attempt to never actually wake me up. That he wasn’t there to take me into the woods, to hold my hand as we walked through the Hob together, to sing Prim to sleep at night.

My attempts at not thinking about my father’s death have only served in reminding me how much I miss him in life. I’m about the change the subject to something else entirely when a realization hits me like the tidal waves in the clock arena.

The reason Peeta is alone in this bunker in the first place lands on me, like a brick falling from the sky.

“Oh, Peeta,” I say in a tone so unlike myself. “I didn’t even think about your family.”

I know it probably was the least helpful thing I could have said, that my wording inevitably just made him feel worse if anything at all but I don’t even try to rectify it. I’m suddenly too overcome with heartache for the boy who lost his whole family in one fell swoop.

Their cause of death being me, of course. All because I blew out the arena. Snow decided to bomb the entire district and killed every single member of Peeta’s family — alongside the rest of the merchant class, save a couple handfuls — in a matter of moments.

And he doesn’t even pretend that his mind wasn’t already on the subject, even before I spoke. “I just hope they died quick,” he says before giving me a sheepish look.

He doesn’t look ashamed of his wording though. Because he knows of all people, I would be the one to understand.

And I do. I’ve had the same thought about my father in the mines countless times. I’ve always hoped he died before he could realize just how bleak his fate ultimately was.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper as I feel the bunker shake again, as I feel Peeta’s arm tighten around me, squeezing me against him hard enough to leave a bruise.

We wait for the explosion, all of us locked down here behind the steel doors, but it doesn’t seem to come. At least, if it did, I must have missed it.

“Katniss, don’t apologize for what you did in the arena,” Peeta murmurs, as if we didn’t just pause the conversation to wait for a bomb explosion. “And do not apologize for what Snow did to Twelve,” he adds on, his voice turning a shade darker than I’m used to, even now after everything.

I nod, only half listening to him. My mind is still fixated on the explosion that never came, that was more than expected after the initial impact. “They must have missed by a wider distance this time. That’s why we didn’t feel it as much,” Peeta rationalizes, practically reading my mind. But I still don’t turn to meet his eyes. Just like all those times in the arena, I know Snow isn’t going to stop until he gets what he wants, until he hits his desired target. I know there’s more coming. And until it does, I’m stuck, frozen in place, waiting for the explosion to hit me.

“Come on,” Peeta insists, pushing me out of his lap, succeeding in finally breaking me out of my trance.

“What’re you doing?” I say in a voice that comes across more irritated than I am. My stress leaks out as anger half the time. Peeta ignores it anyway. I didn’t even realize until now how good at ignoring my ire he’s become.

I watch as he pulls a mattress onto the ground, situating it as far as possible from the others grouped off in the M section. No one seems to be paying us any mind, thankfully. The last thing I want is an audience peering at me as I take Peeta’s proffered hand and crawl into the makeshift bed alongside him.

I lay my cheek against his heart as he tucks a blanket around us, listening to the faint, consistent beat through layers of fabric. Hoping it’ll soothe me now. Hoping it’ll lull me into even the faintest sense of relaxation.

“Are you still cold?” Peeta whispers, his mouth right by my forehead. Before I can give him a shrug, he’s already unzipping his jacket and waiting for me to scoot closer. And I oblige, without hesitation. I press myself against him, wondering for a second why this moment feels so very familiar.

“Remember when you shared your jacket with me on the cornucopia?” I say, as he fastens it around us.

It doesn’t take him long to recall. “Yeah, I remember. Kind of.” Off my look, he says, “I’d lost a lot of blood at that point. All I vividly remember is you.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you,” he repeats, a little sardonically. “I remember thinking you were so beautiful. That I was so lucky to be there with you. And I just wanted to get you home alive and in one piece.”

I chuckle a little at that. I have to ignore the compliments, because I don’t know what to do with those. But I emphasize deeply with the last part. “I just wanted to get you home in one piece.”

“You almost succeeded,” he says, and then we’re both laughing. We’re both laughing unironically, our chests pressed together, one big huddle of anxiety and sleep deprivation and hysterical giggles filling our corner of the bunker.

But our reprieve is abruptly chopped off at the knees, as a wave of impact catches us both by surprise, the walls vibrating without warning. And then an explosion follows this time, only a second later.

Unlike the last time, this explosion is absolutely impossible to miss. It rattles me down to my core, bringing forth once more the definitive, gut-wrenching assertion in my mind that this whole bunker is going to give in and we’re all doomed.

The tears in my eyes must be visible, at least from a couple inches away, because Peeta starts to whisper soothing words to me now. He leans down and places an open mouth kiss on the side of my neck, and tries to calms me down. “Coin was right, this compound is made for this. There’s no way any of Snow’s bombs can touch us here. We’re safer than we’ve ever been.”

“I know you don’t think Coin is right about anything,” I say absently, searching nervously over my shoulder for Prim and my mother. I see them both faintly, underneath the E on the wall. They both seem unharmed, though their blue eyes are wide with fear, and I feel a wave of guilt for not being there to comfort them.

But I don’t want to leave Peeta and I find myself — much to my utter remorse — glad that I’m here, wound up tightly in his arms, instead of over there with a hissing Buttercup blowing stinky cat breath in my face.

“They’re okay,” Peeta promises, his eyes on my family as well. “Unlike us, Prim’s actually gone to class here. She knows better what to expect.” He’s joking again, trying to cut the tension pulsating so strongly within me, it’s bound to overtake my entire body, until I combust. “Katniss,” he murmurs, his voice more serious now. “Sweetheart, you need to calm down.”

“Distract me,” I say, knowing it’s a pretty impossible task. The shaking and shuddering of the bunker though seems to subside and that helps marginally to alleviate my nerves.

A rather melancholy look crosses his features as he opens his mouth to speak. “Have you heard any more of the details about our wedding?”

That does the trick. I let out a shaky laugh, feeling just as unhappy about our upcoming marriage ceremony as he appears to be.

Of course, we both should have seen it coming. After all, it’s only natural that the rebels would want to show the “Star-Crossed Lovers” tie the knot, in a national propo for their side of the war.

At least, it’s only natural for Coin.

I shake my head though, trying for once to keep our conversation light. Trying not to dwell on the fact that no matter where Peeta or I are, no matter who’s in charge, we’re always mere pawns in their eyes. We’re always pieces in someone else’s game.

“They offered to try and scrounge up a seamstress here to make the dress.” I make a face at the memory. “I said no.”

“Of course,” he agrees instantly, sounding rather certain. “You should wear a dress Cinna made you. Even if it’s not a wedding dress. Like that red one you wore in Seven.”

“I knew you liked that one,” I shoot back wryly, but my cheeks flush pink in embarrassment. I burrow deeper into his chest before he can notice. “I grabbed everything Cinna made me when the hovercraft took us back to Twelve. Told Plutarch to have someone else decide which one I’ll wear.”

“So the wedding dress will be a surprise for us all?” Peeta says, a clear attempt to make me laugh again. And it works, just a little. I let out a small chuckle just as Coin makes another announcement over the intercom. She explains something about missile attacks and that we could potentially be stuck down here for the next four or five days.

I feel Peeta sigh against me, not loving the idea of being trapped here any more than I am. Any more than Finnick or Haymitch — wherever the old drunk even is — must be.

Being trapped any place is never fun, in even a normal person’s book. But it’s infinitely worse for a victor. It’s infinitely more terrifying when you’ve been trapped before and it was also related to the threat of imminent death.

I unconsciously run my fingers up and down Peeta’s side, trying to soothe him the way he has so many times me. “We’ll be okay,” I promise, though I don’t even know what I’m talking about. The only people who know are Coin and her higher ranks. And something tells me they wouldn’t tell us, even if the bunker was about to collapse in on itself.

“Yeah,” he pretends to agree and presses his lips to my forehead for a long moment, letting them linger there. “We’re going to be just fine.”

And I guess because there’s nowhere else to go, and because I’ve been wanting to say it for weeks now and just haven’t had the time or the courage, I suddenly blurt out, “Peeta? I really am sorry.”

His bleary eyes grow wide for a second, as my abrupt change in demeanor registers. “For what?”

For blowing out the arena. For starting this war and throwing both our lives into chaos. For not faking being madly in love well enough to satisfy Snow. For getting his whole family killed. For the wedding we’re both now being forced into, for Plutarch’s stupid propo.

For all the things I never said and everything I didn’t do. For everything I didn’t understand until it was far too late.

Instead of reiterating any of this back to him though, I simply murmur, “I’m sorry for everything.”

I feel his arms tighten around me and his heartbeat speed up a little. He doesn’t reply right away and after a couple minutes pass, I just assume he’s not planning to. But then, in the quiet buzz of the night, as the generator lights flicker for a split second, he murmurs, “Katniss, listen to me.”

I lean away from his embrace, trying to catch a better look at his face. “What?”

“I know neither of us are having a great time right now.” He can’t even finish that sentence with a totally straight face. The panic attacks, hospital stays, gruesome nightmares, the constant filming of rebel propaganda and arguments with the district leaders themselves, all likely flashing before his eyes. “But I want you to know that I am happy about the wedding.”

I give him a puzzled look, not believing my ears. “You are?” I thought we were both dreading our wedding, the same way you dread getting a perfectly good tooth pulled.

He chuckles at my expression. “I’m happy that I’m marrying you,” he continues, the corners of his mouth lifting up. “I’m not excited about anything else but… I do feel really lucky that you’re going to be my wife.” He punctuates the sentence with a real smile now. A happy smile, with the slightest hint of shyness. Visible to maybe only me.

And I don’t have the words to respond. Peeta’s gift isn’t just the way he can paint pictures in people’s minds with the stories he tells. It’s the way he can reduce me to a dumbfounded seventeen-year-old with just a couple sentences.

He really deserves a wife who can tell him how she feels, who doesn’t do a pendulum swing nearly every other week. Who doesn’t tell him she needs him the night before she thinks she’s bound to die, and then refuse to speak about the instance for over a month in a foreign district.

But instead he’s stuck with me. Me and my nonsensical statements, that come pouring out of my mouth before I can stop myself.

“I promise I’ll keep you safe,” I vow, because that’s the one thing I know deep in my veins that I can guarantee. The one thing I can swear by for the rest of our lives, whether spent here in Thirteen, in a free country or in Snow’s personal torture chamber. I can promise to defend him with everything there is inside me. “I’ll always protect you,” I say, my eyes boring deeply into his now.

“I feel safer already,” he says and then forces a smile that doesn’t touch his eyes. He’s still trying to make me feel better. “I’m going to be the safest husband in all of Panem.”

“Shut up,” I retort, rolling my eyes but he got to me. And I’m smiling once again.

I’m smiling way too much for someone hiding in an underground bunker during an air raid. For someone who has the biggest target in the country on her back. And for someone who’s marrying the second biggest target in almost no time at all.

Peeta catches me by surprise once again. His leans in, closing the minuscule space between our faces and presses his lips to mine in a quick kiss. I catch myself even more by surprise though, my mouth instinctively returning his kiss. And I don’t regret it either, I realize.

“Go to sleep, Katniss,” he instructs, pulling me closer into the circle of his arms again as our lips part. “Close your eyes and go to sleep.”

I let out a sigh, breathing in a scent so familiar to me, in a place that still feels so completely foreign.

I do find myself dozing off relatively quick, as with my eyes shut nothing feels any different from falling asleep at night, curled up in Peeta’s bed.

His fingertips even run up and down my spine, repeating same motion I was doing to his side minutes ago. And it does the trick. Slowly and gently, he lulls me to sleep.

“Peeta,” I whisper as my dreams — more like low-grade nightmares — begin to pull me under.

“Don’t worry. If anything big happens, I’ll wake you up,” he promises, his cheek pressing against my hair.

But that’s not the only thing I wanted to ask. “And you’ll stay?” I ask, not wanting to wake up here, on this cold stiff mattress, without him by my side. “You’ll stay with me?”

I barely hear the word as sleep overpowers all else. But I catch it at the very last moment.

“Always.”

#everlark #thg #hunger games #my writing #mockingjay AU #Katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #both rescued #everlark fic #200

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thesherrinfordfacility · 8 months

Note

orwellian's a great word for it actually. "appropriate raiments will be provided" is the most disturbing thing in the whole series and i stand by that. this interpretation of heaven has definitely coloured my reading of the show especially how i see the fall so it's cool to see someone who agrees!

hard agree that pure coercion would be a total cop out. it's just that he does seem nervous so i do think he's aware of a certain degree of potential danger. i initially thought the metatron must have let slip an implication somewhere but i much prefer your idea that he suspected something. and well. i've been saying basically since season 2 came out that accepting the offer doesn't equal having completely fallen for it. will come back to that in my thoughts on the whole mess that was that domestic.

the blanket permission to come scream at you is greatly appreciated and i'll definitely make use of it; i love this kind of media dissection and speculation. 🦭

(p.s. i did indeed end up making the chekov's list since my ocd never can leave well enough alone lol. brace yourself: incoming!)

hihi again, 🦭 anon!!!✨

yes!!! in the context of 1984, especially, that line really is ominous; obviously there is a fine line between a corporate uniform and dictated dress, especially as the only scene where we see all of the angels look the same (iirc) is the waiting platoon in s1. otherwise, all of the angels do have individual dress/style (but similar enough to show belonging), even in the job scene, even if certain elements of their designs indicate shared rank or moral alignment... but the implication of subjugation made by clothes being specifically chosen for the prospective mind-wiped gabriel is... interesting.

and of course - aziraphale's outfit is very different to that of the other angels, in it being actual human clothing, and showing unashamed signs of wear and comfort. i remarked in a post that in job especially, his jobes (job robes) are very similar in aesthetic to that of michael and gabriel compared to say muriel's. could be that it's the appropriate dress of a principality rank, but im not... wholly convinced.

anyway, let's get on with your list!!! a herculean effort, truly!!! hope you don't mind, but a) ive copied and pasted it under the cut, because b) id love to use it as a checklist for myself (and of course if anyone else does!) re: things ive talked about, or indeed things that i have Thoughts on... or even things that i haven't thought to talk about and will probably look into doing so in the future!!!✨✨

episode 1:

starting with the big one there's the pre-fall sequence. the fall itself. talked a lot about these two things/the whole theme in general, found under the #the fall/the great war spec tag

maggie's spelling under the #we need to talk about maggie theory tag - babygirl is an angel, im convinced of it

"what's the point of it all" i mean, kinda talked about this in connection with stuff under the #god is dead theory tag, and in a couple of different asks; mainly that god doesn't give two hoots about any of it, and just wanted to give everyone and everything free will - and they have to work out the consequences for themselves (whilst she throws in a few chaotic sprinkles to keep things interesting)

shax's insider information about heaven ive definitely not discussed shax at all really, and i definitely have a few things id like to work out... main one being, for me, how she went from wondering where aziraphale was in ep3, to suddenly knowing how to exactly triangulate his position in ep4 finally talked about her in the #shax meta tag!!!

the demons being on half rations didn't really think to look at this!!! that could be interesting, especially with the short-staffed comment... someone did put to me that bc the apocalypse failed, everyone on earth continues dying and adding to the population of the Damned, so the work vs demon ration is steadily getting outweighed... but hm, could be something more than that!

"something terrible" because are we sure we're sure that that was about the stuff we've already seen you know, i wondered this too after ep6!!! it was a very interesting choice of words for me, bc whilst yes gabriel's fate was looking pretty shit, the line was almost a bit... well, over-announced? they kept repeating it? like, gabriel said he had to bring the box to aziraphale/the bookshop otherwise something terrible would happen... but why specifically the shop? is it just because aziraphale is the only angel/sanctuary on earth? is it because he was drawn to an angel that's also fallen for a demon? is it because aziraphale is simply kind? i don't trust that it's any of these explanations at all (or maybe all of them and another besides)... and tbh i think god has something to do with it. another speculation for the to-do list!!!

the book of life this one ive remarked on a fair bit under the #book of life theory tag, but it's fairly disjointed from other bits and pieces - tbh i probably need to do a long post at some point as to where all my theories etc join up... bc for the moment all of them are full of loopholes

michael and uriel's power politics oooooh i literally don't have a single scooby on this... id have to think on this a little more

the very highlighted matchbox quote this one ive had sat in the drafts for ages bc i can't quite parse it out - where does leviathan come into it? is it a reference to crowley-as-aziraphale spitting fire during the execution? why would it be on a matchbox of a bloody pub? is it a clue from god? is god linked to jim/gabriel somehow? gahd this one is still giving me a headache kinda? wrote about this - here, no tag for this specifically - and im still not fully satisfied that is the meaning of the matchbox but i think (hope) it might be somewhere near the mark?

1650 i speculated (or, well, dreamt up a hc) as to what this potential flashback could entail in a LWA response somewhere - in any case, give me the boys in cromwellian england and give it to me Now

the 25 lazarii miracle my batshit theory (and yet it makes complete sense to me, i stand by it) is in my #25 lazarii theory tag

episode 2:

heaven and hell working together as a single good cop bad cop system this is similarly stagnating in my drafts at the moment!!! but it's a bit of a mindbender for me bc it means i need to pick apart what everything thinks the job/satan bet was actually about... basically, i think it all comes back to understanding god's will - and all of them (yes, even crowley) have it wrong because imo god is completely amoral and is just the strongest advocate for free will... weirdly, i think the person that had the most right of it was gabriel.

"forces them under an awning together" god i hope this happens in s3... i mean there's no way it won't, right? and so many juicy possibilities (for my money itll be the bandstand, but equally would love, like, the stoop of the bookshop, and then have it mirrored again under like the porch of the south downs cottage) 🥺

gabriel's eyes glowing statements this tbh harks back to what i posted under the #25 lazarii theory tag - definitely something weird going on, and i have a gut feeling the boys accidentally made it even worse lmao

tricking heaven with a sleight of hand this is also going to require a bit more thought!!!

episode 3:

aziraphale's chekhov's diaries see im not sure how important i truly think theyre going to be, but if we go by the prominent influence of the crow road, it definitely has to be a s3 plot device, right? the only thing im scared of is that aziraphale's memory gets wiped, or he goes missing, and the books are key to getting back his memory/finding him... hmmm

crowley's consciousness extending into the bentley i think the crank is certainly important, even if just symbolic of his power - uses it to create nebulae, it survived the s1 explosion, etc. i do think bentley has its own kind of personality, but think it's borne out of proximity, use, and influence of her demon owner... obviously i could be entirely wrong, but i kinda hope it's more that he made her, and her allegiance as a sentient being is with him (and of course aziraphale by extension), mainly bc i want something to look after crowley... but then is it more poetic that the bentley is basically just him, and representative of him finding comfort in himself? idk tbh but she's a bad bitch and i love her

general resurrection themes ive talked a fair bit about the second coming aspect, but not about the resurrection and last judgement so much, so this is one for the list

gabriel's glowing eyes statements part 2 as above (and i realise that you might be talking about what he specifically says, not the general thing itself, 🦭 anon, but in a way what is being said is fairly self-explanatory imo, but why is the heftier question)

shax can sense gabriel in a way the archangels couldn't i personally don't think there's much by way of implication in the method in which she senses him (ie... smell? vs michael's weird sixth sense), but i do think there is something about the fact they can sense him at all... talked about in #25 lazarii spec and the #shax meta tag!!!

"it's always too late" oh god 💀 i had the most batshit theory about this that i don't even want to talk about BUT im with you that it's... an odd line. i love that it potentially references line in the book about crowley's watch being set to hell's time, which is set at "too late", but beyond that... not entirely sure why the line was said or said so... blatantly? feels like something obvious would explain it

rumours that aziraphale and crowley were an item that so far don't seem justified based on what hell knew. rumours that apparently had no major consequences for crowley despite one harmless photo warranting a legion to collect him [screams at 1941 truther sign] yeah this is how it read to me too, 🦭! something definitely happened after that dinner, and im not saying a move was made (and potentially witnessed by a couple of errant nazi zombies) but i think a move was made (and witnessed by a couple of errant nazi zombies) - #1941 spec tag

the literal chekhov's gun in the bookshop this one has flummoxed me, but i did read a speculation about continuing the 1941 flashback today, which was utter genius (and so much better than what i managed to dream up in the above tag), and suggested the derringer will make an appearance in a fight-ish scenario in that scene... which is frankly bloody inspired tbh, and im very much convinced by

the miracle blocker oooooh i don't have a dedicated tag for this but i definitely talked about it in a post under the #sanctuary/bentley theory tag!!! i think it was potentially a chekhov's gun that we didn't see get fired

sleight hand to trick hell probably one to look at in hand with the one above about tricking heaven

the zombies just running around london kinda as i said above tbh, not sure what'll happen to them afterwards but presumably a grisly end being eaten and pooped out by a spider

1941 full stop. we have not seen the last of that night. goddamn right we havent [skips around the 1941 truther sign]

episode 5:

the lack of demons available for the attack pretty much what i said above in ep1 about being short staffed bc the Damned population keeps increasing... maybe? still one to look at in more detail though!!!

"i know. do it anyway" "i know. looking at where the furniture isn't" not necessarily in reference to these quotes specifically, but in the general context - discussed this (and potential crowley memory loss) in the #the fall/the great war spec and #book of life theory tags

"if it happens twice it might seem like an institutional problem" oh. OH. THIRD EYE HAS OPENED. because we know two things, right? gabriel didnt fall/wasnt intended to, so the 'happens twice' isn't realised. and heaven does have an institutional problem, practically embodies the term. so if this is foreshadowing. does aziraphale fall. oh no. Oh No (ive sort of discussed this in #scapegoat theory tag but that was strictly pre-eden context...) this however has actually just made me realise that this is a chekhov's gun literally pointed at aziraphale's head... shitshitshitshitshjthka

mrs cheng's weird look across the street see this is on my list but waaaay down it. think she could be a demon. will work on it at some point edit: talked a little bit about this in the #shax meta tag, but possibly needs a dedicated post, idk

nina and maggie's semi immunity to miracles so the bit where aziraphale can't miracle them? that to me is potentially the same explanation as the miracle blocker post (like it all connects). maggie is more immune than normal to the ball miracle? see #we need to talk about maggie theory tag. as for nina... im still not sure on. idk if she's a demon (which for me is a Thought if we consider that hell are short-staffed; she could be one of Many) but it feels a little on the nose... one for the list edit: talked a little bit about nina in the #shax meta tag, but definitely needs a separate post at some point

shax saying the shop isn't an embassy anymore but the demons still unable to get in i didn't think of it from this angle, but i think my theory still stands - under the #sanctuary/bentley theory tag

nina and maggie's immunity to miracles part 2 oh oops - see above

episode 6:

maggie being able to invite the demons into the shop i think she's an angeeeeeeellllll (see #we need to talk about maggie tag)

the speed at which the portal opens and it's potential as a means of spying my latest galaxy brain moment (i hope) - #sanctuary/bentley theory tag

haloes and the potential consequences of blowing them up this one is in the #halo theory tag

crowley opening the files not quite sure what you mean by this one, 🦭!!! do you mean about his rank? definitely tried parsing this particular headscratcher in the #AWCW spec tag

heaven was trying to restart armageddon in a way that seems awfully unofficial oooooohhh.... haven't looked at it this way, but definitely will be!!! might link in with #god is dead theory stuff, but will need more exploring!!!

saraqael having their own agenda honestly saraqael is my newest bad bitch (gn) and if my #saraqael spec is even halfway true, im going to explode i love them

"i'm the only first order archangel in the universe" *camera cuts to crowley* kinda talk about this in the #AWCW spec tag but since neil cremated the lucifer theory (rip) ive kinda left this aspect alone... tbh i don't think he was as important as he's set out to have been

"i'm the only first order archangel in the universe" full stop. statement's plenty suspicious on its own too. this is....... potentially very intriguing

memory wiping as just a thing heaven does when someone disobeys i need to reconcile #book of life theory with this tbh - like, the focus on memory is so strong in s2 that i strongly believe it has connection to falling... at which point, where does gabriel demotion/mem wipe punishment fit in? and where does saraqael fit in, too?

muriel having the same kind of position gabriel was going to be demoted to vaguely looked at this in #book of life theory tag posts i think, especially in reference to how their potential punishments (in muriel's case) mirror each other

heaven and hell are technically at war now. its not like anyone with authority actually called it off danced around this in the #halo theory tag, in reference to aziraphale declaring this new war, and yet they've been at war for a long time? yes the reflection of it being a cold war but still... interesting to think about especially when framed like this

it's possible to remove your essence and store it elsewhere definitely need to explore the possibilities and implications of this at some point, but the suggestion i made in the #25 lazarii theory post somewhat starts to look at this

hell is understaffed as already mentioned above

the shax furfur alliance not quite sure what to think about this, and whether it necessarily means anything more than it's put across (ie just that they are the danger duo of hell in s3?) idk tbh i just need to look at them both as individual characters a bit more first #shax meta tag!!!

the many strange things that could indicate something going on in the last fifteen minutes god.... just anything in the #feral domestic/final fifteen meta tag tbh

"does anyone ever ask for death" idk whether or not to take this as meaning anything deeper than metatron just idly thinking "hmmm aziraphale could refuse my coffee, refuse a chat... at which point ill probably need to destroy him etc. hey, i wonder if anyone - instead of coffee - has ever actually asked for death? funny name for a coffee shop"... and possibly a double meaning meant by Nina saying 'everything else was taken'?

saraqael being the only one other than crowley who recognises the metatron and their reaction well theres my school of thought that saraqael is potentially closer to metatron that we maybe thought (#saraqael spec tag), but then again - and this exact sentence just reminded me - i think in this particular instance, both saraqael and crowley have just come fresh from watching the trial, so that's why they both remember metatron... which begs the question of what happened between the trial and the final fifteen to make them forget? hmmm

almond syrup imo, #omelas theory

the possible miracle chime ehhhh i know i wrote about this but im still like 50/50 on it... but it fits my theory (in the #feral domestic/final fifteen tag) so im rolling with it - i think there might be a chime and i think it might be a failed miracle to change the coffee

the metatron and crowley seeming to have some kind of history lmao anything in #metatron spec or indeed #the fall/the great war spec tags tbh

aziraphale's peculiar mannerisms im getting so lazy with these responses now 🦭 anon im so sorry, but again recently speculated in the #feral domestic/final fifteen meta tag

the way the conversation between aziraphale and the metatron is only reported and very strangely transitioned in and out of as above

the nothing to see here shooting of the kiss this one...

i know ng said it was a continuity error but. the time skip on the clocks ...and this one ive looked at in the #time-stop theory tag, and im the same - not trusting continuity error on this... not just yet

the something's up vibes of metatron. the general scheming and manipulativeness. the framing as the wizard of oz. the colour scheme and the dice on his tie. the sigh of relief in the elevator lol #metatron spec

the credits scene i haven't really gone into this in any detail and tbh idk if it needs it - i think it's pretty reflective of some stuff ive talked about in the #aziraphale meta and the #feral domestic/final fifteen meta tags

plus special mention: not technically in the episode but the distinctly ominous madonna/crucifixion promo photos aaaaaaaand this one is in the #mary/pieta spec tag

again 🦭 anon im really sorry it got a little lazy towards the end!!! but im very, very grateful that you put this all in a list, because ive definitely got some stuff in mind that id like to parse out!!! and as ever - more than happy to scream about things so pop on back if you feel the need to scream with me!!!✨

#VERY long post but its so so so helpful #good omens #ask #in fact this is gonna go in the masterpost

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vermillioncrown · 11 months

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just read ch. 7 of tpac! the whole time i was like "timmy, no." and then i was like "korvin no!" i mean, looking from the outside, stalker tim drake would definitely freak out korvin, but reading the chapter in tim's pov, it makes him sound so reasonable. and i could say the same thing about korvin when i read his pov in ch. 6 and how there's a reasonable thought process there. im not blaming korvin, but looks like he just escalated the situation, and im worried what tim and korvin end up doing.

love the moment tim concluded that korvin must be his replacement, and he seemed to have just went "ok. alright. makes sense. i'll be professional." it's genuine, but it also sounds like he's compartmentalizing there for a bit.

also, for the rest of the chapter, i was just going, "oh my god, just talk. someone tell stuff to someone! maybe, idk, ask?" while also cackling. the tendency of not telling people who care about you about stuff you probably should is very much a bat thing, i'll say.

gotta say tho, if i only had this chapter on tim's pov to base on, it wouldve looked to me that korvin fits in perfectly with the bats' in terms of a lack of communication skills. or is this just a mind game he's instigating? the usual paranoia? what was going on his head when he went for the flight reaction at the sight of tim as robin? and then pulling that usb stunt.

like. what kinda vibes has korvin been getting from tim for him to get to this point?

i shall answer morning (?) you and then later you (second ask)

yep thank u for seeing that if you take each pov as is, both tim and korvin may be squirrely in different ways but they both come from a rational starting point (which is what makes their particular type irrationality a slippery slope and super fun to write)

(and something to be mindful of irl, i'm def prone to anxious spirals but have the energy of a dried-out slug so i just ride the spiral to the end until it's so irrational that i go "lol okay there's a higher chance of a meteor striking my apartment dead on, calm down bitch" to myself. korvin has a lot of energy)

and tim wrt potentially being replaced "i guess so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ hahaha" he is definitely compartmentalizing and rationalizing

(i don't want to get into uwu tim sadboi territory bc i feel that's a slippery slope to take, but bro's not okay. it takes a type of childhood, parenting, and enabling to make tim drake.

but i hope readers can catch hints of that in his pov)

no one's fucking talking lmao who does that??? (real adults with emotional and social competency)

(people who aren't terrified of being vulnerable 🙃)

but like, think about it. if you're constantly trained to have a secret identity and always around people that do the same...you get used to not talking. very bat, like you pointed out. + so much more going on; someone left a very insightful comment on the chapter that had me kicking my feet in the air 🥰🥰

and yes, the final bit you've pointed out--to tim, this is like standard fare bat mindgame shit. or what the fuck is going on with this kid??? who reacts like that, to that extreme???

this will resolve next chapter, so hang on until then 😏 please do continue to speculate because 1) it's fun and 2) i really don't write things by accident (my writing's already bloated--i do a lot of excising and editing to keep to the point)

rereading tpac ch. 7 with a clearer mind than i was in the morning earlier.

i gotta say, one of the best things i love about your writing the most is how wonderfully flawed you write the characters. tim drake is a character i adore and it's a compliment when i say i wanna punch him in the throat with the way you characterized him. it's so fascinating to see korvin from the direct pov of someone korvin doesn't know well yet, like with dick's pov and with barbara, back to how he was before they bonded, and especially with someone young like tim and also tim being tim.

which! ofc they would clash terribly for the first time! ofc tim "no sense of personal boundaries" drake would simply absolutely rub korvin "hates being perceived" kwan the wrong way in the most vehement way possible.

anyway, ya. tim deserves that a little bit in the end, and im excited to see where the tim-korvin dynamic is gonna go from here.

first off, i just wanna say i'm super flattered and appreciative of you (and other readers) actually giving this much attention to the fic. i joke it's not homework but like, you're having fun, i'm having fun, there's a bit of substance going on 🤭 a little puzzle, a little treat

and then another thank you 😭😭😭 because that's the goal with my characters. i want them to be believable and coherent in their own perspectives, which means traits and behaviors that are strengths can be recontextualized as flaws (and vice versa). not really into strict "this is always positive" "this is always negative".

(a big running theme in all my fics + something you can't avoid with SI fics is "a whole person is defined by both the internal and external". you have your core, but you must also be perceived)

i'll take the way you want to punch tim (lovingly) in the throat as a compliment! i want that! he deserves a bit of bullying! i just get sad when ppl get actually mad-mad at him because...bro's just trying his best but playing the wrong game with the wrong pieces lmao

his view of korvin also goes back to your previous asks about how'd they interact, and the answer is "depends on the context of how they meet and their relative social place to one another". tim's much older than korvin in whfagt and those are extenuating circumstances, so that's a very different interaction vs...this lol.

HAHA yes, you got it in one on how tim rubs korvin wrong. you'll get the other side next chapter.

(another theme with SIs is "get perceived, idiot", so korvin's getting dragged kicking and screaming into that. eventually. might take a whole sequel.)

you're excited to see, and i'm excited to show! in my other fics, the SI has the luxury of fucking off and stepping away from powder keg social interactions (kinda), but not korvin. so it's finally reasonable for me to write the most batshit (pun intended) insane character dynamics i can imagine

(if i wasn't so tied into my metacognition, there would have been plenty of places in my other fics i could have gone off the rails like readers wanted/expected. but that's not how i work.)

#maryallenc #inquiry #on tpac #redglyphs #writing #thank you for spending brain cells on my fic bc that's just...wow to think about #i'm trying to make little puzzles and you guys find them worth solving #🥰🥰🥰#i feel like well-developed characters are like puzzles #they have their core but how it manifests depends on the context #or you have figured out a different context that yields convergent evolution of how their personality manifests #if characters always behaved the same no matter what that's not a character that's a macguffin #and unless there's more going on in the story (themes+message+prose+etc) macguffin characters don't interest me or (worse) they irk me #they are illogical with respect to their setting. they don't fit.#i am a little creature that loves fitting things into things

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daincrediblegg · 8 months

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lady terror question for you: 😊

do lady terror and francis ever argue with each other and how would they apologise/make up?

also how would you describe her relationship/interactions with the other characters, friendships etc.

OOOOOOOOH

OK OK ok... First? oh yeah. Without revealing too much, they have argued like HELL with each other throughout. And of course, as you can imagine, the worst of their arguments (with some of the most bleak and cutting words- from the both of them) occur during year 2 in the ice off king william land which... yeah. And I tell ya. Some anxieties and fears (and even love- weirdly and fucked up as the expression of it might be) are revealed through them (in fact- the "I have everything to fear of you" bit that I love hauling out all the time is the butt-end to one such argument. and it's so hot god damnit). As for making up? well... you'll see 😉(just know that it's sweet and tearful and cuddly). AS FOR OTHER RELATIONSHIPS??? OHHHHHH THANK YOU I'VE BEEN WANTING TO TALK ABOUT THOSE FOR A WHILE!!!! Bc I love her relationship with Francis but I've written just as much dialogue with her and other characters as well.

Thomas Blanky is easily the person that she vibes with the most on either ship- bc he comes from a very similar sailing background that she does (more merchant ship/whaling stuff than naval expeditions) and she’s much more appreciative of his kind of sense of humor and general outlook on things. It sets her at ease somehow, and also reminds her of her father. Not to mention that he also treats her not just with respect but with the kind of camaraderie that she experienced on her father’s ship- like not a lot of people on these ships would just… hang out with her? And exchange filthy jokes and limericks while they work. And have a genuinely friendly rapport that isn’t marred with all the victorian social trappings- which is what she wants at the end of the day. If anyone is her true bestie on this expedition, it’s gotta be Mr. Blanky 🥰

The second most important relationship is with Jopson. He was a bit wary of her at first, but the more times she spends on Terror, and the more she sees both her and the captain warming up to each other? Not to mention her concern for his well-being (which is something that no one ever really shows him)??? He kindof ends up seeing her as the elder sister that he’d never had.

James Fitzjames is, of course, her natural frenemy. Kindof like a Darcy figure honestly (watch this space). But I think they have some of the most interesting conversations I've written honestly. I think she catches on fairly early that a lot of James is a front- and James is unsettled by that because the thing that masculinity has afforded him is adiquate cover, but to be confronted by the feminine and be seen? Scares the shit out of him, but he still respects and cares for her.

Goodsir is her little Inuktitut study buddy and confidante on Erebus. Their cabins are even right next to each other. They're both kind of in the same position (just in different disciplines, ofc) , and they do try to look after each other as best they can. This man will bring her a cherry stone heating pad when she's having cramps, the absolute king that he is, and also pass on information to her that others wouldn't deem suitable for her ears. She even helps him out in the surgery every now and again when Dr. Stanley can't be fucked! They're rational critical thought buddies.

AND SPEAKING OF BUDDIES!!! SILNA!!!! god there's a lot going on there and I don't want to reveal too much but they are nb gal pals and there's nothing none of these stuffy old british bitches can do about it and that's all I have to say on the matter. 1000% a part of the 'respect indiginous folks' defense squad.

there is so much more. but these are sort of the major ones for me that I've fleshed out so far. (honorable mention to Bridgens, who is her book club buddy and who she loves having conversations with about this stuff. she endears herself to old farts like that what can I say?) More to come ofc when I finish this damn enterprise but THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!!!!!

#I don't talk about how much she interacts with other characters thank you for giving me the opportunity #also no I didn't forget hickey. but he's more a narrative foil than a friend you know what I'm saying #from day one he's had what I like to call 'pussy envy'. and you can do with that what you will my friend #lest I remind with that dynamic there is a notorious boat knife involved. so just. again. watch that space 😂#ask games #lady terror #egg's oc's #seriously can't thank you enough for the excuse to run my fucking MOUTH about my GIRL #the malaise of the week was getting to me this fixed me like an orange to a scurvy riddled body

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astxrwar · 2 months

Text

graydark bucky content with more overt murder/violence vibes under the cut.

deranged!bucky x clinical psych grad student RC who’s maybe like. a friend of peter parkers or sumn. asked to provide off-the-books not-technically-therapy because he has problems with authority + acts way too antagonistic towards Official Therapists with their fancy doctorates and established practices and shit. Tony (everyone lives au for simplicity’s sake. steve imo fucked off to the woods to do art, maybe got a girlfriend or something, Does Not Do That (superhero stuff) Anymore, so i can still play around w the abandonment theme) offers to personally fund her thesis + pay her to the tune of 80k/year which is like. hell yes!! grad students make like below minimum wage when the salary is divided by typical work hours.

I just want more weird thriller vibes with Attraction That RC Should Probably Not Be Feeling but this time with kind of mean!bucky. he’s not like. actually uncaring he’s just struggling with reconciling Enjoying Killing People with like. being a not-evil person, and he’s actively hostile to the idea of giving a shit about anybody for a lot of reasons. but anyway the Plot Elements im thinking about are 1. she def tells him about her life in an attempt to Connect and he straight-up hunts down and kills a past abuser; she doesn’t know for a fact that it was him but like. her gut knows. 2. stalking. oops. i feel like it’s a given for any flavor of deranged!bucky because of the whole WS history, 3. showing up maybe at her college when she’s walking to her car in the evening paranoid she’s gonna get him sent back to prison because atp he’s opened up about the Enjoying Murder thing. which leads to a fucked up kidnapping road trip getting-together fusion. emphasis on the fucked up.

particularly imagining a scene where they stop at a truck stop or something after it’s already been established she’s not going to try to run or call for help because Bucky would probably just. kill whoever’s unfortunate enough to get involved if he thought he was under threat of jail time. anyway he tells her to stay in the car because it’s really late at night and shady as fuck and she Doesn’t and gets cornered by some dude being gross and giving sexual assault vibes whomst bucky kills in front of her by snapping his neck with his bare hands. terror + some deeply fucked part of her finding it kind of hot. something wrong with me I’m afraid

also. distinction between “not going to hurt you” and “not going to *harm* you”, little bit of sadism. for science. knife kink probably. MUTUAL knife kink.

and then underneath all the really fucked up stuff is a really fucked up but also really vulnerable core of him that’s afraid to trust and terrified of people he gets attached to leaving him. first time they fuck he holds her down w the metal hand around her throat (just. keeping it there. a little bit of a threat, mostly an act of possession. i will see myself out) final time before the end of the story it’s with his right hand. because. symbolism. and he begs her not to leave him. or. well. his version of begging which is just telling her “you did this to me (made me care about you) and now you can’t leave/I’ll follow you if you do/ you will never be able to run from me i’d find you at the end of the earth” etc. fucked up control issues speak for “please don’t leave me everyone i ever cared about always leaves”.

I just crave more dark content where RC is not like. cowering or controlled by fear. personally I go right to compartmentalizing/rationalizing under extreme stress and if i thought i might get killed by some guy I was kinda already into with no feasible way out of the situation I would be on my emotional manipulation + trying-to-hit-that game like nobody’s business (bc you’re a lot safer if they see you as a human being. yaaay criminal psychology) but maybe that’s just me being nuts

#more RCs with batshit emotional responses to things. representation matters 😩 (/j)#astxrwar.txt #luke’s brainworms

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evergreen-dryad · 26 days

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I don't know how to feel over all these strange fantasy names when it's supposed to be fantasy china (and Japan nearby). I would like annotations

it does directly copy and paste some stuff from China's history / Sun Tzu / strategist stuff

you can tell someone's important if they have a name from myth: eg Nezha, Jiang Ziya, Su Daji (femme fatale) There are some references to Journey to the West in some of the Cike/Bizarre Children but not direct borrowings- Baji (Zhu Bajie), Aratsha (Sha Wujing), Suni (Sun Wukong)

It's very readable (as YA tends to be). It's a more fast paced harry potter so far. I'm speeding through it a lot ngl.

Highlights: (wait there's no underline here still??)

- Rin beating Nezha (it's 2-1 so far but just Rin beating everyone up in the Tournament despite being excluded discriminatorily from class)

(And then them both working together like a well-oiled machine in the war!)

And oh, she turned out to be the last speerly! I think it works and also does introduce more tension over where to put her in terms of politics and all that, but I am also praying Altan doesn't die (I feel like he WILL) (and HE DID)

From what I remember of Babel (same author) -- well, there's the historical accuracy that doesn't deviate much, there's also the nostalgic romanticism of school (a safe and beautiful place with towers and pagodas, but also bittersweet with its bullies and racism) and having to work hard af (what a chinese thing tbh), wanting to excel There's the all-important teacher-student relationship and what knowledge does

Foreshadowing: where Runin was burning herself to study more for the Keju Exam, it ends up being foreshadowing for the god she'll call down -- the Phoenix. You watch her determined to go through anything to get stronger:

'How she didn’t need rest, only pain, pain to fuel the fire.' 'Who couldn't she kill?'

After she kills a creature wearing Altan's face. Well, spoiler: she does do genocide

Themes/Symbolism: knowledge, the danger of adhering to just one branch/extremity of thought (esp reflected in the elitism of Sinegard and the north and south; in the way the other Sinegard students treat Runin; in the way Kitay is convinced of his rationalism over Runin questioning if shamanism exists; even in the military where military arts and shamanism are separated and hidden (for the latter); and how Nikara separated itself from Speer (the analogue for smth like Ainu people in Japan.))

Of what is the purpose of knowledge, if it cannot be 'utilised' for in present context, war?

Is 'an eye for an eye' right? What would you do to win or to get revenge? That there are difficult choices to make in such horrors like war -- do horrifying things done to you and your people justify genocide? What if your god that was your only hope was also cruel to you? Between gods and humans, who is really using who?

Also subtly feminist. I mean, it really delivers on the promise of female rage, and there are a couple important female figures

Characters: of course Runin is easy to like and easy to root for! She's way more determined than me bcs she's that unhinged/unhealthy 'do-or-die' when it comes to academics and martial arts!

Everyone else for students is a bit, hm, unelaborated on so far which is fair

Rin has 2 foils: 1) Kitay, and 2) Nezha. And prob also Altan -- how he seems so perfect and later on how they seem alike -- but are ultimately different

Tearza in the past who refused to sacrifice the world for her people, so the god killed her in retribution. But Rin did do so in vengeance and is thus still alive.

Nezha funnily keeps getting 'off-screen death scenes' which means he's definitely not dead

Character relationships: interesting to see how Altan is a 'better' teacher to Rin as they understand each other better in needs to war, but also gets abusive towards her with the pressure and needing her to summon their god, as he is a soldier first.

Jiang was the 'wiser' teacher as a peaceful scholar but wasn't there, sealing himself away in stone

Descriptions: lightly sketched so you don't get drowned in it

Tone: easy, simple, direct, not very literary/purple prose, often short sentences

Use of language: Past tense. Purely in Rin's POV, with one exception in Tyr's/and then omniscient narrator (to show the betrayal of the empress). Lots of dialogue/some worldbuilding descriptions. (R F Kuang seems to begin/end/spin with dialogue a lot which makes it snappy?)

Figurative techniques sparse. Shows the extreme cruelty of the world (even before the war). Also does not hesitate to say fuck.

What works for it?

-want to see what happens to rin as it's very action-heavy and you're rooting for the underdog (fast-paced, inexorable marching to war)

#the poppy war #books-ed-read-2024 #r f kuang #books

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