#you really either misunderstood the whole point of that post

[pinkerthings]

the significance of mileven simply not understanding each other (pt 1):

(others have brought this up before but I think it’s a bit overlooked imo)

There are numerous times throughout Stranger Things where Mileven is shown to not be on the same wavelength, and the Duffers like to make it quite apparent to the general audience.

Starting with the obvious scenes:

“BLANK makes you crazy”

El is literally staring at Mike like she has NO idea what he’s trying to say.

Shes STILL confused even after he tells her it’s something old people tell each other:

Like girl…. i KNOW you were watching them soap operas and old timey romances during that year in Hopper’s cabin. You really expect us to believe you have no clue what he’s trying to say?

This scene was written like this on purpose for two reasons: comedic effect and diving deeper into mileven.

Back to not ever being on the same wavelength:

I talked in this post here about Mike being okay with El standing up to bullies in the past when it came to Mike or Will, but Mike suddenly not understanding when it comes down to El defending herself against Angela, showcasing the idea that they are definitely not in agreeance over what happened at Rink-O-Mania.

The Duffers like to purposefully write Mileven out of step with one another.

It seems as though every season has something negative in store for the couple, and not in a fun, slow-burn agonizing romance type of way, but in the frustrating “why can’t they just work it out” kind of way.

Season 1 obviously has El “dying” and leaving Mike for a year, but on a smaller note also has Mike trying to explain to her that if she moved into his house, Nancy would be like her sister, but he would not be like her brother. She does not understand this, and has her classic confused face on.

Season 2 has her being gone and coming back to see Mike with Max, and even though nothing happened between the two of them, El was still cold to Max when they first met, showing even if El is incapable of knowing what the word “love” is, she still somehow knows what jealousy is.

Season 2 also brings us an interesting scene with Erica and Lucas, where the dialogue just seems….really off and random.

Lucas catches Erica playing with his He-Man action figure and gets mad, taking it from her. To which she says, “Hey! They’re in love!”

Lucas responds with:

The scene is extremely random and the dialogue is just weird to me, the only explanation it being a metaphor for something in the show, and the only viable explanation is Mileven.

Season 3 has the entire “boyfriends lie” side plot, resulting in El dumping Mike for lying to him about his grandmother after Hopper’s talk with him. Their relationship the entirety of season 3 is the epitome of immature pettiness caused by jealous and hormonal teenagers who don’t understand what being in a real relationship entails--

We get El and Max spying on the boys:

Eleven is a mystery to Mike, he pretty much says it himself.

Their whole relationship is based on immaturity, and the audience knows that. The audience can see that the two of are clearly immature and don’t have what it takes to be in a real, committed relationship. That’s the point. Their relationship in season three is almost entirely to move the plot around in whatever way the Duffer’s want, and to showcase the idea that their relationship in screen is nearly always shown in either a comedic, pre-teen immature light, or a jealous, misunderstood, and petty light. There is almost no stable relationship between the two of them in season 3. It’s either too clingy or too toxic or full of lies or immature, blah blah blah. The only scenes of them either not making out or fighting is the last scene of them together right before the Byers move, and that’s a whole scene in itself to unpack!

Season 4 is where things get a little chaotic, as if things weren’t chaotic enough.

There are so many miscommunications and misunderstandings with Mileven this season, but the big ones include:

El feeling like Mike thinks of her as a monster-

and Mike looking at her like she just spoke badly about his favorite Star Wars movie-

Directly after that we have Mike saying El is being "ridiculous" because she's upset that he won't tell her he loves her, and him calling her a superhero, the complete opposite of what she wants to hear in that moment, but Mike doesn't understand that, because who wouldn't want to be called a superhero? (his way of thinking)

Later on we get Mike recounting this to Will, saying, "and if I would have said that thing..." etc.

Mike can't even say that he loves El to other people, and we're expected to believe it's still true?

We also get this:

another misunderstanding on Mileven's part. El thinks Mike doesn't love her (at this point, does he?) so she finishes her letter the same way he has: From, El.

Next we have Will and Mike's conversation on top of the car:

"I think it's just scary to open up like that, to say how you really feel, especially to people you care about the most, because...what if they don't like the truth?"

I've said it before and I'll say it again,

why would El NOT like the truth if the truth is that Mike loves her?

Mike nods at Will's words and looks away, seemingly lost in thought. Why would he agree with Will---that it's hard for him to open up to El because she might not like the truth---if the truth is exactly what she wants to hear?

It literally makes no sense.

We also get the Byler van scene, where Mike compares her to a superhero yet again, something she clearly does not like (I don't have a vid but here's the official script, where he says the same thing):

Also El being Superman and him being Lois Lane in the analogy....okay.

Next we have him calling her a superhero YET AGAIN ! during his monologue:

Like girl if I was El I would just give up at this point. This is the last thing she wants to hear. She doesn't want to be a superhero all the time, she just wants to be a person ! a girlfriend ! a friend ! a daughter ! yet Mike is making it seem like the main reason he loves her is because she's a superhero, which she hates.

And lastly we have:

"Did she...talk to you at all?"

"Not much, I mean...a little bit."

Let me get this straight......you finally confess your love to your longtime girlfriend in the midst of her fighting a literal monster & monster from her past while she is being strangled and held captive all while she's also trying to save her friend from death, and she doesn't say anything to you for TWO days after?

Ladies...the Mileven break up is writing itself, really.

And that is a thread on how the Duffers intentionally write Mileven to be on different wavelengths with each other every single season without fail to showcase how incompatible they really are.

They are setting this relationship up to where you want more for both parties; El deserves to be loved the way she wants to be loved, and Mike deserves to be loved the way he needs to be loved (if u know what i mean)

In part 2 I will discuss the importance of byler understanding each other, juxtaposed to mileven hehe bye !

part 2 analyzing Mike & Will here !

#stranger things #byler #mike wheeler #will byers #eleven #stranger things 5 #finn wolfhard #jane hopper #st5 #mike and will

[thesherrinfordfacility]

@teddybearbutchh and i might have just worked out something whilst we were screaming, once again, about This Face:

because it's practically obscene, right?! aziraphale you need to rein it in, babes, now is not the time-

-but the thing is why aziraphale makes this face which, arguably, is relatively anomalous when compared with other faces he's thrown at crowley when crowley isn't paying attention.

on one hand, you could take it down the horny route - the look is certainly heated enough (the eyes, the heavy breathing, the gulp) - and consider that aziraphale is suddenly struck with the 'epiphany' that if crowley is an expert on love... does that include all aspects of it? 👀 possibly. but it's likely more than that:

aziraphale demonstrates in s1 that he (im not including other angels in this empathetic superpower) is able to feel ambient love - and it's indicated similarly that crowley cannot. there have been theories - that i somewhat subscribe to - that aziraphale can't detect crowley's own love "for the same reason people in times square can't see America.", but it's equally plausible that crowley as a demon cannot emit love... either way, it appears to be a revelation on aziraphale's part that crowley might... just might... feel and understand love on a fundamental level

this is also fresh out of ep2 when aziraphale is toying with the idea to hold a ball for nina and maggie, to make them fall in love like They Do In Jane Austen... and yet, now, he's considering whether he could do the same for crowley? now that he 'knows' that crowley feels/understands love, he can unleash all of his own at this ball, and they'll swan off into the sunset because now they can (with complete disregard for everything else going to shit around him, bless this little eldritch horror)

this conversation, as robyn💕 pointed out, is post-"our shop/car" conversation. could it be, from aziraphale's perspective, that crowley has possibly been picking up on aziraphale's hints all along, that aziraphale wants to share his life with crowley - and the vice versa - and that if he confesses properly to crowley, crowley might just accept it? and want the same?

this is only reinforced by this Look being sandwiched between crowley being hesitant about giving aziraphale the keys, and then immediately afterwards chucking them at him like its nothing... crowley must trust aziraphale, must accept and reciprocate at least some part of what aziraphale is trying to tell him; his efforts aren't for nothing. these two have never communicated anything like this verbally - for many different reasons - and why stop now, when aziraphale's actions seem to be doing the trick?

it would further, theoretically, explain why aziraphale is not only in such a good mood going up to edinburgh (sure, he's off to go play miss marple too - the dream) - he's literally going to go solve this whole mystery like a cool detective, come back, send gabriel off on his merry way, confess properly to crowley like he deserves, and then they can get started on the rest of their lives together

it also gives some justification as to why aziraphale feels it appropriate to change the colour of the bentley; we know it's a manifestation of his love for crowley, but this gives it even more depth. he's so excited! he gets to come back and hold a ball - they'll do some formal dancing, crowley will realise that he's completely misunderstood aziraphale, and that aziraphale is actually deeply in love with him! works every time apparently!

look, The Face could be something of nothing - but its nonetheless really interesting when you consider that aziraphale's sudden enthusiasm for the ball might have been encouraged by this line in particular; that crowley's bluff might have just been the undeniable green light, as it were, that aziraphale was waiting for.

#good omens #this a rambling mess but it makes sense in my head #s2 meta #aziraphale meta

[pillowmoment]

“he’s not evil he’s just misunderstood” is the WORST excuse of character behavior in the goddamn book

Ok so let me explain why. I know this is often a joke, but many people use it unironically and it bothers me to hell and back

basically, this explanation is far too vague to combat any point made against a character. It’s not an argument. It sounds very dismissive and comes from a place of denial.

often when characters are considered evil, it is because they commit to actions or words that are directly harming, usually, our protagonist, or other characters.

I only bring it up because wheatley has been floating around in my mind lately, and this excuse is used on him a lot?

i’ve already analyzed him and why: no, he’s not evil, but he’s certainly not innocent. And he’s not morally gray either. He’s on a weird dot that keeps sliding around. But it’s always on the same Y-axis. His character is constant.

i’ll explain as fast as possible here so this doesn’t end up being the whole post. But, in short:

wheatley is a flawed character from the start of the damn game. He’s overly anxious, has low self-esteem, impulsive, and doesn’t think before he acts, but he’s also weirdly cocky and egotistical. He’s also incredibly self-aware. He cares too much about his image and is entirely aware of his flaws, and tries to make up for them. He’s just bad at it. He has some amount of trauma regarding the facility, clearly illustrated in his extreme fear of GLaDOS, and his tendency to lament upon, and get upset with the past. none of this changes when he takes control of the facility. While he seems less anxious in those final moments before.. well, you know what. This is likely because he feels comfortable around Chell, and also has this need to prove himself to GLaDOS, who is insanely critical of him. when he takes control, again, NOTHING changes. He is still as flawed as before. Yet his ego suddenly skyrockets, because he’s in control now! He’s in a respectable position, and a position of power, isn’t he? But he is still criticized by GLaDOS. This literally sends him spiraling. Now that he knows Chell probably hates him too, there’s nothing more to do but try and make himself seem scary, since he thinks that it’s what made people respect GLaDOS. This also doesn’t work. As his mental state gets worse and worse, his bad traits become more and more pronounced. He’s reckless and aggressive. Until eventually it all spills over. His own actions, technically, lead to his own demise. If he hadn’t been so confident in his deeply flawed plan to kill chell and glados, he probably wouldn’t have ended up in space. If he hadn’t been so restless and angry, he would’ve pushed to keep testing, and everyone would’ve probably died in a massive explosion when the place self destructed.

he is not evil. He is not innocent. He is FLAWED. He can’t just be placed on a scale of “good or evil.” That doesn’t take his character into account at all. He’s a really good example of a complex character. He can’t be simplified into “good guy” or “bad guy”

he can be boiled down to an antagonist, but that doesn’t automatically equal evil.

and this can be said about MANY characters people often defend with the empty excuse of “nobody understands them!”

A handful of my favorite characters are often defended this way, and it completely erases anything that makes them unique.

they aren’t misunderstood. They tried to fucking kill people. There’s no justification for that. motivation is such an important thing to consider, and i feel many people skip over it when it comes to commonly debated characters. Why did they do it? Was it because they felt like the needed to defend themselves? Or was it because all that emotion had been sitting in their stomach for so long and now it’s twisted into nothing but a desire to hurt people?

You cannot say you like a character if you ignore their complexity and everything that makes them unique.

It bugs me so much that a lot of Wheatley fans just say he’s innocent.

his villain arc is so IMPORTANT to his character. His bad traits are so fucking important. He wouldn’t be the same without them. Ignoring them means you’re viewing the character like the cover of a book, and completely ignoring it’s interior. All you see of them is a hollow shell. There’s nothing to it. Nothing to enjoy.

For the love of god stop excusing characters actions just because you like them. I adore wheatley, he’s been so important to me for a very long time. But i’m not going to sit here and say he’s not a bad person because i like him. He’s a bad person and i love that for him. It’s what makes me love him.

at the same time, it’s also not good to be overly critical of a character, because you are also missing the entire point of their existence. Like i said, characters can’t be simplified into one or the other.

ok rant over.

#portal 2 #wheatley #Ranting #rant #grrrrr #:3 #feel free to add ur own opinions on this post! #I love reading people’s thoughts on this stuff #Especially in regards to wheatley #He’s so cool…. #You know whenever i see people hate him i always think #Like… god forbid a woman do anything… am i right?

[i-heart-hxh]

Hey! I’ve absolutely been loving your posts and re-posts lately. I’ve been heavily getting back into HxH recently and the Killugon brain rot is real. I’d like to get your opinion on something though. I’ve been thinking a lot about the scene during the “Palm date arc” where Killua and Gon are working out at the gym and Killua asks Gon if he’s been on a date before. Obviously this is a pretty famous scene for a number of reasons, although personally I’ve always found it to be one of the most misunderstood scenes in the entire series, as I’ve yet to see anyone really share my thoughts for what I think Togashi was trying to do with it. It actually showcases his writing skills very well imo, and I think that (besides the very surface level comedy of the interaction) there’s 3 things this whole scene is trying to tell us:

1. Killua and Gon have two entirely different conceptions of dating and what it means, with Gon being either oblivious or innocent to any romantic or intimate meaning while Killua is very much the more mature one who understands those parts of dating. This is probably the most.

2. Killua is clearly upset and put off by the idea of Gon going on dates with anyone, and arguably very jealous when Gon tells him about past “dates”.

3. Killua has no desire to go on dates with people, and just wants to stay by Gon’s side “forever” when the subject of dating is brought up.

Now, I have much longer form explanations and evidence for all of these points I can give but I’d like to see your interpretation of my thoughts first, as again, I think this is both of one of the most misunderstood scenes in the whole series, and one of the most important for understanding Killua and Gon’s dynamic and how they feel about relationships

Hello! Thank you so much, it makes me happy to hear you're enjoying my posts. I've been internally cultivating my HxH brainrot for years and it feels good to finally be able to share more of it. I'm so glad you sent this to me so I can weigh in, I'd love to hear your additional thoughts as well!

This is an excellent analysis and you're spot on! I love that you're focusing on a small scene rather than the arc as a whole, because it makes it easier to pull apart each aspect of it and the intended meaning without having to leave things out. I think the larger context of this subplot does nothing but support what you're saying, too.

The thing that stands out to me with these panels is how much Togashi is emphasizing Killua's shock and stress over this. The huge metaphorical boulder, his expressions, he is clearly bothered. And sure, it is comedic because Killua is not understanding Gon here because of their different levels of awareness, but I don't think that takes away from what is being said. The scene could have been set up in a way that doesn't immediately conjure up the concept of jealousy on Killua's part, but Togashi makes it clear over and over again in this arc how panicked and upset Killua is at the thought of Gon going on a date (with someone who is unhinged, but while Killua is certainly concerned about that, he seems just as bothered by the thought of Gon going on a date specifically).

As the audience, I think we gather by Gon's line about Mito that he's not talking about real dates, and that the things they were teaching him were probably innocent (I sometimes see people taking this at surface level, but I really think Togashi is being tongue-in-cheek here and showing us that Gon's view of what dates are is innocent and lacks context). But of course Killua is in the middle of a gay crisis here and he doesn't catch on and misunderstands.

Then, so shortly after, we're into Killua stating he wanted to stay with Gon forever (ずっと). I didn't like how the English version of this line was phrased, seemed like it was being downplayed a bit and didn't contain the word "forever," so here it is in Japanese. I think it's incredibly telling how it goes immediately from thinking about Gon going on dates and denying that he has been on dates (because he was learning to kill and then with Gon) into this line, and especially with how downright pained Killua's expression is at the thought of having to leave Gon, as he promised himself. It's hard to come up with any other explanation for this scene, you know?

This is more my own interpretation than straight-up analysis, but I think this is maybe another straw in the pile of Killua thinking his feelings for Gon are one-sided as well, as he struggles with through all of CAA--in Killua's misunderstood/mistaken view here, Gon has been on multiple dates and has experience with romance and therefore he might be more "normal," while Killua feels like his whole world is Gon--and he doesn't seem interested in the thought of going on dates himself, all he comes back to is wanting to be with Gon. It might widen the chasm between them a little bit in Killua's eyes.

Anyway, all of this is basically just expounding on what you already said. I appreciate how you summed it up so clearly and succinctly! I agree that it's a great example of Togashi's writing, which is very rich, and often even small scenes like this have multiple meanings and intentions we can take from them if we look at them carefully. His eye for detail is incredible.

Like I said above, the full arc's context surrounding this scene only supports the conclusions you came to--there are more examples throughout of Killua's jealousy in this specifically romantic context, Gon's lack of full awareness on this topic, and Killua's devotion to Gon. It's so telling of Togashi's intentions that ultimately the Palm subplot concludes with Palm of all people emphasizing that Killua is the one Gon needs.

#hxh #hunter x hunter #killugon #gonkillu #gon #killua #meta #thanks so much again for sending this! #apologies for taking a bit to respond

[thelunarfairy]

Hola 💗 I really love your content 😍 that's why I come and go all the time, I come to ask you something else and my point of view :)

The truth is that I have always believed that Nene is going to die in the end because there are many things that point to that, if it happens I think it will be one of the strongest things that we will see in the manga, AidaIro is dramatic and crude, Nene is the most human character, that is why she is considered less important but her importance is really extremely great, she is one of the pillars of the story, so seeing her die she will be very strong.

Especially how everyone who knows her will take it, she wins the affection of people easily, she has interacted with the most misunderstood teenagers, she saw the pains, desires and regrets of the specters, they have liked her, Hanako is in love with her, you could say that she is a friend of Mitsuba, she was a friend of Sumire, Shijima-San supports her along with Tsuchigomori, even Yako, a constantly furious being, likes being with her and Tsukasa approve her, I asked me how she will get along with the mysteries No.1

But hey, you can see the importance, I wondered how she will die and how it will affect the characters and the story?

Oh, Thank you sweet 💗💗 >.<

Yashiro is the protagonist and it's no surprise. She is the most important piece in the story. Without her, Hanako would remain alone, Tsukasa would not return, the seals would not be removed, lives would not be saved, Kou would not know Mitsuba, because if there is no Tsukasa, there is no Mitsuba. The fate of the twins would not have been changed.

It suggests that the twins were waiting for her arrival to begin their goal, and of course, these goals have consequences, whether good or bad. In any case, the twins could only move forward with her. Tsukasa didn't kidnap her for nothing, he needs her too.

Yashiro was narratively constructed to seem weak and useless, a little girl who was naive and got involved with the supernatural, but that's not what it's about. She is one of the key players, and if you analyze everything she did, it had a consequence. She prevented Kou from exorcising Hanako, he started to want to better understand supernaturals.

Hanako is no longer as cold as before, I could mention all the changes in his behavior but I would spend the whole day. She saved Aoi several times (even without Aoi knowing), she showed Sumire what freedom was (when she took her from that village) wow, if I'm going to say everything this post will be just for that hahaha.

Nene's death is destined, so there is no way to save her unless specific methods are used to do so. They can use Tsuchigomori or the god. In both cases a sacrifice is necessary. In the case of Tsuchigomori he would sacrifice himself, and in God's case, they would need to remove all the seals.

There is a third alternative, going back in time. In the latter, there are some possibilities for her to be kept alive, either by stopping her time, or going back in time to change something, or in the last resort, going to the future to prevent her from going through the event that will bring about her death. .

Apparently, Hanako is thinking about the possibility of using the time to their advantage.

About what her death would be like, I have a theory about it, if you want to see it, take a look at this post here.

I'm going to summarize the post I mentioned above, basically they need to remove all the seals, after these seals are removed something will happen (the last cursed seal will break) imagining that the cursed seal is Hanako's, which is the only one that has a seal and isn't a yorishiro, so we assume Hanako is going to transform into something dangerous.

Yashiro manages to purify, and you see that when she does this to Tsukasa, he "melts" a little. On other occasions, such as in the mokke of the dead chapter, she purifies all the students at once.

So I imagine that she will try to save Hanako, but he, who has no control over himself, will end up killing her in the process (like he did with Tsukasa), she will manage to save him, but when he realizes what he did , will ask Kou to exorcise him.

I explain better in the post I mentioned.

The second hypothesis is that it is used as a sacrifice to the God, to grant a wish. Although the Kannagis don't actually die, they are trapped in the house/abyss. Yashiro actually dies, so I wonder if this hypothesis is so valid.

We saw how her body became lifeless and there were no signs that her soul would be present at the place, or the fact that she didn't remember anything after Mirai advanced her time, that is, she won't be trapped anywhere like the kannagis stay. Tsukasa was also sacrificed, but he remains in the house, meaning Yashiro actually dies, there is no return for her.

The ways that Hanako found to save her included locking her in a safe place, where nothing bad could happen to her, that is, while she was there, no supernatural would attack her or there would be no way to get her out of there to use her as a sacrifice. She also wouldn't risk her life trying to save Hanako, because she would be with Amane from the PP arc.

He made a wish to God and asked for her life span to increase, that is, he changed her destiny when he made her live longer than was intended. So even if she was in danger, she wouldn't die. Remembering that Hanako removed her from the supernatural world, Aoi's sacrifice closed all the doors, meaning she wouldn't be there if Hanako transformed and attacked her.

We're still going to see more of his attempts to save her, and I believe that in this current arc we will too.

Nene's death will mainly affect Hanako, and if Hanako loses control… That will be problematic.....

I hope you liked it, thanks for the ask! ♡

#jibaku shounen hanako kun #hanako kun #amane yugi #toilet bound hanako kun #hanakokun #jshk #tbhk #aidairo #jshk spoilers #yugi twins #hanako anime #hanako x nene #tbhk hanako #jibaku shoujo hanako kun #jshk hanako #yugi tsukasa #yugi amane #nene yashiro #yashiro #yashiro nene #jshk theories

[a-student-out-of-time]

Despair Time Switch Theory: Definitive Edition

//Hey everyone, Mod Bubbles here. After many weeks of work, it's finally done.

//Ever since I first proposed my personal theory for Despair Time Chapter 2, the Switch Theory or Swap Theory as it's been called, I've both seen and received a lot of disagreement over it. Not just questions and disagreements over the mechanics of it, but points I've raised in relation to the other characters and the story's themes.

//Through all of that, it's become very clear that a lot of the points I've raised in my previous posts have either been completely misunderstood or dismissed outright, and it's resulted in a lot of misinformation about what this theory is actually about.

//And I'll be honest: I blame myself. I was too overzealous and I made a lot of incorrect conclusions and claims without having the evidence to back it up. Now that I've had over half a year to really sit down and think about this stuff, I've managed to hash out a much better and more structured theory, answering every question I've received thus far and then some.

//And because Tumblr now limits post sizes, I've put everything together into this Google Doc. Don't let the size intimidate you, most of it is due to the pictures I've included as evidence. I promise it's not too long of a read.

//In the end, whether or not you agree with me regarding this theory, I've tried to focus on what I see as key details not only for Arei and J, but the cast as a whole and story beats that I feel get consistently overlooked in other theories. Maybe you'll agree with me after reading this, maybe you won't, but either way, I do hope I'll at least give people more to think about.

//Also, I'd like to give some shout-outs not just to my friends who helped me with this, but some other Despair Time theorists out there whose work contributed to this:

@tophats-tea

@venus-is-thinking

@justanareikinniewhosatheaterkid

@1moreff-creator

//Even if we've had our disagreements over our various theories, I have to thank you all for getting me to think critically about a lot of details I either overlooked, didn't know about or didn't fully analyze.

//And if you can, please reblog this and spread it around so more people can see what I'm actually trying to talk about with this theory. I promise you it's much more than just hoping my favorite character is alive ^^;

//Have a great day everyone!

#mod talks #a student out of time #danganronpa despair time #drdt #despair time #switch theory #despair time switch theory

[danmeiarchive]

Devil Venerable Also Wants to Know by Cyan Wings -- a brief review (no spoilers)

80 chapters + 2 extras

My Rating: ★★★★★ / 5

I went into this story fairly blind / un-spoiled as to the plot and characters and I really enjoyed it. If you like The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System I think you'll like this one. It's a pretty quick read (I read it over the course of 2½ weeks) and it also feels a bit lighter of a read -- in the sense that there's not a bunch of twists and turns or faceslapping going around. There's still narrative weight to the characters' choices but it feels more focused on the emotions of the characters than on making a dogblood drama.

I also really enjoyed the cultivation meta in this book -- there were sections where we would get insight into why the main character did a certain thing and how he belived that would / could impact the universe / world / dao.

Check for content warnings under the cut.

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What kind of story is Devil Venerable Also Wants to Know?

This is a story that really breaks the fourth wall and doesn't take itself too seriously. Like Cyan Wings' other stories that I've read it is really funny and the characters are fantastic. If you like transmigration novels but dislike the trope of an all-powerful manipulative "System" that keeps that transmigrator in check then try this one! The main character is NOT a transmigrator but he does gain knowledge that breaks the fourth wall and there are times when he considers the people around them as if they were characters in a novel. Several of the main characters can also be read as asexual and / or aromantic which is really nice too.

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Throughout the story the main characters are growing and learning more about themselves and each other -- there's several times when a character reflects on how they had misunderstood another character or not known what was really in their hearts. This leads to the story feeling very emotional and tender as you slowly get to know the characters. This is mainly in regard to the main character and his love interest but its true for some of the supporting cast as well.

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Ultimately it feels like a story of two people (who whole-heartedly trust each other with their lives) slowly opening up and allowing themselves to be vulnerable with the other. There's also a good portion of the story that talks about heart demons and how that affects one of the characters -- it becomes a plot point even. It certainly takes the main pair a lot of work but once they are finally on the same page (ha) and treat each other as equals... it's very sweet and intimate.

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Who are the main characters?

Without going into details here's a little bit about our main squad:

WenRen E - Our main character. WRE is the leader of the XuanYuan demonic sect and an absolute badass. He somehow reminds me of both Yan Wushi from Thousand Autumns and Wei Wuxian from Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation. He is arrogant and prideful but also cares SO MUCH about the commonfolk in the world. He is absolutely ruthless when he needs to be but he has a line that he does not cross and he forbids his minions from crossing it either. There's also a lot of times where he's sussing out why or how something works a certain way and his understanding of the dao and the universe felt profound.

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Yin HanJiang - Our love interest. There's a specific post I've seen that is coming to mind but I can't remember how it's phrased... YHJ is loyal to WRE and ONLY WRE. He is submissive in the way a guard dog is -- he would follow WRE's every order and do everything in his power to protect him but at the same time he would not hesitate for a moment to attack anyone he viewed as a threat to WRE. At the beginning of the story he keeps a certain distance between himself and WRE but as the plot develops that distance becomes smaller and smaller.

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BaiLi QingMiao - the protagonist of the book that appears in WRE's hand which serves as the impetus for the story. WRE finds himself frustrated and confused at her actions a fair amount of time but over the course of the story she too grows up and gains a new outlook on life.

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Shu YanYan - a seductress demonic cultivator. She only dual cultivates with consenting partners and uses her cleverness to manipulate people. She also seems fairly uninterested in romance -- I think she alludes to not wanting to get her heart broken but she also seems very happy as things are with her various lovers.

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Qiu CongXue - hands down my favorite character in the story. I liked everyone but QCX is always speaking her mind and stirring up trouble. She has strong himbo energy and I don't want to spoil anything about her, just know that anytime she comes up it's going to be great.

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What is the plot of Devil Venerable Also Wants to Know?

One day a book suddenly appears in WenRen E's hand. This is notable because he is a very strong demonic cultivator and he didn't sense anything before the book appeared. So he looks at the book and decides to take it very seriously. He reads it. And he discovers that he is a character in a trashy romance novel, as is his most trusted subbordinate Yin HanJiang. He becomes very curious to find out if the other characters are real and if the events that happen in the book are destined to come true or if they can be changed. So he sets off and meets the protagonists of the novel and begins experimenting. Without spoiling things he is especially concerned about what happens to Yin HanJiang in the book. He also wants to know more about the novel's protagonists and their motivations.

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Click 'keep reading' to see trigger warnings.

ptsd, depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, violence, manipulation and abuse, mention of torture, war, survivor's guilt, etc. The characters have some tragic backstories and there's some things in the novel that WRE reads that are disturbing -- but ultimately there's not "on screen" torture that the characters go through, the novel instead focuses on what's going on in the characters' psyche.

#devil venerable also wants to know #dvawtk #cyan wings #cyan wings novels #danmei recs #danmei reviews #danmei webnovels #danmei reading #ila reads #danmei #xianxia

[sparrowsupportgroup]

What do you like about ais? I need to talk about this man and I’m never shutting up

Oh I could talk about Ais for DAYS!

When I first got into Touchstarved, I didn’t expect to like Ais as much as I do now. My first impression of him was that he was gonna be the stereotypical stoic, cold-hearted character that takes themselves too seriously - I mean, that’s what I got when I saw his “expecting mercy was your first mistake” quote.

But then when I got to him in the demo and saw his CG for the first time, I instantly LIT UP. He immediately triggered a lot of happy hormones in my brain and I was like “oh this is my MAN!” He truly had me at that first little sparrow line.

Like I was literally smiling ear to ear interacting with him because he’s genuinely funny and he’s incredibly charming. His banter with us is what really sold me on him.

I like that he has a sense of humor and he likes to tease people and despite being so intimidating, he has a bleeding heart attached to his sleeve that’s spilling out softness that either no one notices or cares for and it’s SAD.

On a psychological level, I think why I’m so attached to Ais to the point he’s even a comfort character to me is the themes that he represents; the themes of loneliness, isolation, and emotional dysregulation that’s associated with Ais are what speak to me the most, especially the emotional dysregulation. Struggling with anger outbursts is difficult enough; having rage issues while constantly being demonized(no pun intended it) for it and misunderstood because of it is a nightmare and it’s part of the reason why I feel so drawn to him.

The fact he’s self-conscious of his image to us with the whole three bad impressions thing is really endearing because he doesn’t want to scare us off! He tentatively hoping you’ll still talk to him because he wants a friend! He wants someone that isn’t afraid of him! And that’s so real because he’s probably been alienated his whole life up to that point and I relate so hard to that. And I relate to the implied abandonment issues he’s dealing with since the disappearance of his gang because his feelings are still clearly hurt about it, like mine are over the endings of some friendships I experienced recently.

Also gender envy on my part because he’s really cool and formidable and well-respected and dominant and exemplifies why I like monsters in the first place; he’s hypermasculine in a way that’s riveting to me because I started swooning like a schoolgirl when he beat the shit out of that roughneck after he shoved us; that’s the toxic masculinity I can honestly get behind.

(I also love the fact he has pointy ears and horns and likes being bitten, it’s all very cute to me)

I hope this long ass post makes sense😭and thank you for the ask! Please send me more asks, I love talking to y’all🫶🏾

#sparrow asks #sorry if this is a bit of a ramble #ais makes me feel a lot of emotions😭

[fanfic-lover-girl]

You came down harsh on Hermione and I’m going to say I think the whole wizardry world sees violence as fun and probably don’t share our views because everything can mostly be easily fixed. Like the Weasley’s testing their product on the younger student population (who most likely can’t defend themselves) and sell love potions (aka date rape drugs essentially). Hermione meanness should be pointed out, but like how fanfic writers whitewash Draco (reduce him to a misunderstood kid) I think it’s fair that others do the same for her. Also, with Draco we have the knowledge that he associates with a racist and I’m not talking about blood supremacy which makes him trash already. I’m talking about Pansy worm comment to Angelina. We are aware that Draco willingly cast two unforgivables. One successfully and the other unsuccessfully. Like they are both trash, but it’s funny on how you went on a Hermione tangent when Draco himself is basura too. Seriously though Hermione should have never attack Ron she was trash for that and should have been called out by Harry or Ginny. Then again Ginny also attacks ppl so yeah.

Hello anon.

First of all, why is it a problem that I came down harshly on Hermione? I tagged my post as anti Hermione and I hate her. Well, I don't hate her really, I hate how her character is handled.

I find most characters in HP intolerable. I can count the number of characters I like/tolerate on one hand maybe. I think the wizarding world is full of disgusting people who see muggles as lesser and have a high tolerance for abuse.

Why do I need to criticize Draco when I criticize Hermione?? The point of my post is that Draco is heavily criticized already for his part in Dramione but the same is never done for Hermione. So I criticized her part in dramione since no one else will. I clearly stated in my post that Draco is not good for Hermione either. You can find multitudes of people who hate Draco and multiple anti Draco posts. I think we need more posts calling out the golden trio for being terrible people too.

Before getting into HP, I thought Harry Potter was a great hero. But after examining his character I realized Harry is an awful person and has little consideration for other people. I actually find Harry more abhorrent than Draco. Because Harry is supposed to be the hero of the story but he is clearly lacking.

I actually hate fanfics that whitewash Draco. Draco is snarky and fun and awful a lot of times. I find him very interesting and entertaining. I don't like him being made into a super victim abused by his daddy and I don't like when he is overly demonized.

So yeah. What exactly is the problem? My post was about Hermione. Not Draco. I don't care if people want to whitewash her. But I sure as hell won't be tolerating it. If girls want female role models, there are other female characters out there 1000 times better than Hermione. Female characters who don't abuse their love interests for one.

#anti hermione granger #anon ask #anti golden trio #draco malfoy #anti harry potter #anti harry james potter #wizarding world is awful #anti romione #hermione is not a good female role model #anti dramione #anti fanon draco malfoy

[halfusek]

so lemme just put it out there: using AI for generating art, nevermind if for a joke or seriously, in this point of time, plain sucks

i’m refering here to that bendy highschool crush anime thing whatever i refuse to interact with stuff about this so i’m not exactly familiar but what matters is that it was AI generated AND even more so it was not mentioned anywhere that it was until people started pointing it out

there’s a few problems with that

first one is obvious - just the use of AI - as yall probably know its been a highly controversial topic these past few months, because of course it’s built on thief - first stealing artists’ work and then stealing their jobs; a joke or not it STILL uses that based in thief technology... though there do exist some AIs that asks artists for constent, for example the one that deviantArt created recently (and people misunderstood and spread a lot of false information about but oh well that’s a whole other thing) BUT generally these services for AI generation of images steal from artists - and not only! - they just take anything they can find fitting on the internet, even stock images and there was a case about a stock image site suing one of these AI services because *yeah* it’s just thief

another layer to all that adds the context of the game they made itself... like... BATIM/BATDR’s story is at its core about exploitation of artists and - apparently wether they like it or not - evils of capitalism (i still cant comprehend how Mike Mood can be anti union after making a game like this but like lol). it’s about art, about struggle with it and it’s just soooo out of touch to do something like this for a company making such game like hello?? if you wanna take from how artists are abused in big corporations then maybe have some decency and don’t use tools that abuse artists??? like that’s just so in bad taste man i have no words

then comes the fact that they waited with mentioning that AI is used is in the video. it STILL isn’t in the description of the video (the time im making this post is 13th april 2023 so the vids been up for 12 days), which i think AIs these days even require to be given credit?? but either way a lot of people didn’t even realize AI was used and i don’t blame them, not everyone pays attention to details or has an eye for them, this is why such information should be included... if it supposedly was meant to be “part of the joke” all along

which i find hard to believe? sure it came out on april first but.. how exactly is it a part of the joke? the AI generation was simply used for making the art for this fictional joke game. it could have as well been drawn by a real artist and no part of the joke would have been lost because it’s not part of the joke at all? like it’s not mentioned anywhere and it’s not obvious (Meatly even said they heavily photoshoped the images because they looked bad) so i’m asking how exactly AI being used is part of the joke here because it just seems like it was used as a mean of creation here and there was an attempt to hide that it was done at all

and if they really didn’t wanna spend time and effort on drawing it themselves (i get it, they might be busy with other things) then just A. don’t?? make anything?? or B. use an AI that doesn’t steal from artists and credit it so people know? and if it’s reeeeaaally a part of the joke then actually make it part of the joke? even a singular line of commentary laughing off at AI would make this actually work but there’s just nothing

i’m glad that Meatly said they aren’t planning on using it for anything serious but using it for a joke is still using it like sorry but that’s just how it is

and the whole ordeal of not saying what AI it is just rubs me the wrong way because high chance is they aren’t doing that because this AI is one of those that steal from artists so... eh... like i realize this is an assumption but i think it’s fair to be a bit skeptical about them after everything they’ve done :’)

#just wanted to put that out there #cool if others are having fun making their own versions but i think itd be better to let it die so im personally going to avoid such content #peace and love on planet earth #halfpost #bendy and the ink machine

[hils79]

Hils Watches The King's Avatar - Ep 40

It doesn't feel like 5 minutes ago that I started this drama. It's so very bingeable.

It's been a real journey. None of this has been what I expected beyond the very basic concept of 'it's a drama about esports'. There have been so many wonderful surprises. There are characters that I hated that I now love, characters that I loved that I now love even more, and more ships than I ever expected to ship.

While I'm at it I want to say a heartfelt thank you to everyone who has popped up in the replies to my posts or in my asks to either answer my questions or just yell about their favourite characters. I can tell this drama (and the novel and donghua) are so well loved and liveblogging this has really felt like a community experience. Thank you for not laughing at all the stuff I got wrong and for not making fun of me for shipping everyone. It's really been so wonderful and I almost don't want to press play on the final episode because I don't want it to be over.

But I need to see what happens so let's go!

Ah, okay. I misunderstood what happened at the end of the last episode. I thought they'd lost the game but no they could still win they just didn't have enough points to win the championship.

Is there going to be some loophole like the whole 'oh the ref's watch broke so actually you won'

HAHA! I fucking knew it! They got an extra two points for beating a league record. Because apparently that is a rule that has never been mentioned until now.

Eh, whatever. There was a nice moment with the fans before the found out they'd won

Ye Xiu finally gets the hug that he's needed since episode 1

Good lord how is there 30 minutes left? What's going to happen now that they've won?

God I hope Sun Xiang punches him

Except of course he won't because he's all grown up now. Also, typically it's the coaches/managers that get fired when a team does badly. I hope he gets booted

Love Shaotian dragging Wenzhou to his feet so he can cheer

Remember when their entire fanbase was just this guy. I'm definitely not crying at all

Look at that little half smile. He's grown so much considering they only lost on a technicality. I do think he's at least a little bit happy for Ye Xiu as the better player (for now)

GDI I can't believe I'm crying over Sun Xiang AGAIN

LOL remember when I thought he was going to be the antagonist of the drama when I watched the first episode. How wrong I was

Haha yes let's have a little joke about the time when I nearly banned you for life in the middle of an important game and caused your team to lose as a result

I have in no way been thinking about writing some King's Avatar fic with one based on the fact that Ye Xiu passes out after one drink

HAHA! Mo Fan pretended to pass out too so he doesn't have to talk to anyone. He is such a mood

Oh shit! I did not see that coming!

Oh no he looks so sad to see his former team like this, and it's understandable. He built that team from the ground up and put so much time and work into making them the legends they were

Yes, good. Baozi is cuddling one of his boyfriends as he should

Ah, yay, I'd forgotten about the team graphic. Time to add one more person right before the end

And finished! That was wonderful! Definitely in my top 5 dramas that I've watched this year. Might even be the number one, actually. I definitely should have watched that years ago when people first told me to give it a try. But, you know, I firmly believe you find things when you were meant to find them. Now was good.

I'll be starting a new drama tomorrow. If you were just here for my King's Avatar posts it's been lovely to have you. If you're sticking around for other liveblogs I'll see you tomorrow for more yelling :D

#hils watches #hils watches the king's avatar #hils watches cdramas #the king's avatar #cdrama

[000marie198]

“Sickens me that people will just filter out specific tags and posts when we stop using trigger warnings-”

Bold of you to declare that more people should suffer because they’re missing a few posts that might trigger unhealthy coping mechanisms if seen. Deepened depression, panic-induced spirals, and traumatic flashbacks are worth it if they can find out that something else terrible happened to someone today.

Using guilt as a blade is not cool.

People block trigger warnings because they know they might be triggered. There’s a reason they exist. That is literally the whole reason that these tags exist. To warn people.

But, you gave your opinion on this already with your blatant, “Like actually fuck you and your mental health-” because it’s not really that important, right?

No you self entitled bastard it isn't

Not in the current scheme of things. Not when some of you are actively silent and trying to ignore what is happening to the point of missing most of the context and believing the exact agenda being fed to you.

Some thing are like actually bigger than you.

Also, I believe you missed the entire point of the original post and only picked specific lines so let me explain this properly. Trigger warnings are extremely important but when an entire populace got bombed and so many in the world turned a blind eye to it, those spreading the actual true news stopped hiding it behind such filters so some of you would actually look and see what's been happening and being ignored and a fact completely misunderstood due to propaganda. But since it all was so horrific, it would be censored either way. Cuz you know, ppl who'd been fed lies and propaganda all their lives tend to ignore words and suffering of the entire damn planet unless it involves themselves. So mentions (not images, mentions) of some things go uncensored. BECAUSE YOU CAN'T FUCKING CENSOR HORROR OF THIS MAGNITUDE!

But lo and behold I have ppl in my inbox complaining about their own needs and trying to turn around and guilt trip me while saying guilt is not a good weapon.

This isn't guilt, it's rage. Its sorrow and anger and pain and empathy and so much more coming out as rage.

Also, thanks so much for trying to derail the main point. I was talking about people filtering out tags such as "Palestine" and "Gaza" etc so they don't have to see any news

Personally I can't bring myself to watch some things either, it messes with my head too, and yes I do skip some of it. But it doesn't fucking mean I actively try to stay out of the loop by blocking the tags that aren't actually trigger warnings but just main tags related to the news. Just so you don't have to feel anything and don't feel guilt for being complicit by staying silent

I'm not using guilt as a blade. Guilt exists naturally whenever one does something wrong and knows it. If the guilt is unprompted by the words of others then you're doing something wrong and you know it. Blocking "Palestine" and "Gaza" made you feel guilty? That's bcoz you're at fault for ignoring it all. If seeing it brought you pain and you did nothing but ignore it and block it, never spoke up of it, never learned the background, you're the one in the wrong and your guilt is your own not induced by anyone, especially by those who are angry, who aren't even trying to guilt trip you in the first place.

Stop forcing people to take drastic measures when it comes to knowing the truth that those imperialistic opaque domes hide and maybe we'd actually respect your rules.

But none of us have to follow your rules when your humanity is dead

#selfish ppl really be broadcasting they care abt nothing but themselves #go figure #ask answered #anon ask #also if you come in my inbox qgain bitching abt how you're not doing all of this and whatnot & ur ask had nothing to do with current events #then actually fuck you even more. you came into my inbox without even knowing context & just started bitching #Palestinians are very kimd ppl and they constantly have to try to keep their own narrative and translations inoffensive #but idgaf about being nice #some of you don't deserve to be nice to. you're not above others #free palestine #free gaza #palestine

[sysmedsaresexist]

So I saw this post going around a bit ago saying that it was endo/nondisordered systems that spread support for osddid systems and pushed for more research of traumagenic systems and idk how true that is considering back then, systems were under the MPD dx before they changed the dx in the DSM. MPD was not the same thing as an endo system, but rather most likely either a traumagenic osddid system that didn’t have a proper understanding bc psychologists didn’t get it yet or a person w bpd schema modes that people misunderstood as an osddid system. (Not to say that systems with bpd don’t exist, we’re one such system, but the two are not the same thing). Idk. I feel like it’s in bad faith for endos to say “we’re responsible for why you have research at all btw”. I’m almost positive it’s just regular traumagenic systems who did not have the same knowledge and research we have now pushing for that/fighting for ourselves.

I'm not sure if I'm misreading or misunderstanding, feel free to correct me! There's a few points I'm going to touch on, though, just to cover all the bases. Settle in.

This is actually a really common myth I see from endos-- that MPD either included endogenic systems, and/or that MPD didn't require distress or trauma, and that the change to DID excluded all these systems by... requiring dysfunction? This chart is often used to showcase the differences between the disorders and how the disorders became "more restrictive", excluding systems from the diagnosis.

Which is a weird argument-- If MPD supposedly pathologized all plural experiences by not including distress or trauma in its criteria, wouldn't you hate MPD more than DID? And yet there's a HUGE community of systems that prefer the MPD diagnosis over DID for weird reasons.

However.

The truth of the matter is that MPD and DID are the exact same disorder, renamed. Even as MPD, it still required trauma and dysfunction for diagnosis (it even still talked about it being a childhood disorder), but even back then, no one read the whole goddamn entry for MPD. From the DSM III.

It's a very frustrating running theme.

The only thing that changed was the name, and it wasn't changed because they didn't believe in the diagnosis. All five were renamed to reflect a better understanding of the mechanisms behind the disorder and dissociation in general. I guess they didn't believe in any of these disorders.

What's really interesting is the changes that were made from the DSM III to the DSM III-TR (PDF). Here's a few choice changes for those on a phone.

(Most interesting to me are the changes to the amnesia criteria)

As you can see, the changes actually significantly expanded the criteria to include more presentations.

The DSM IV is where the name was changed to DID. In less than two years, the DSM IV TR would be released where all of the "cautionary" statements about overdiagnosis of DID would be removed, and we all know what the DSM 5 looks like.

SO.

What were endo/nondisordered systems doing around this time?

Why, being fucking douchebags of course.

The DSM IV was released in 1994, and in 1995, Astaeasweb was started. They were the first major group in this clusterfuck. They were the first to describe "non disordered" plurality, and soon after coined "natural multiplicity".

This was the start of the endogenic movement.

And all they did during that time was call for the boycott of MPD and DID.

"This DID boycott in particular held significance because it caused extreme harm to people with DID/OSDD. This boycott was intrinsically tied to both the anti-psych and natural multiplicity movements. Boycotters often held the belief that DID/OSDD weren’t real and should be removed from diagnostic manuals. Pages on natural and empowered multiplicity tended to go hand-and-hand with boycotting the DID diagnosis as well as boycotting psychiatry or psychology. As a result, this boycott impacted both society’s and psychology’s perceptions of DID/OSDD, and left lasting effects on the DID/OSDD community."

Pluraldeepdive, links and archives in post, check them out, they're an amazing resource.

It was around 1998 that the divide began between "empowered multiples" and "survivor multiples". This is where the real ableism started.

The 2000s introduced the "Healthy Multiplicity" movement. "The purpose of this movement was to establish that plural experiences were not pathological. Participants in this movement often insisted that childhood trauma or abuse could not cause plurality or multiplicity." [x]

This is where we start to see the rise of what is now the endo community, built off the boycott and definitions that were continually being twisted until they lost all meaning.

It went from, "MPD isn't a disorder," to "trauma doesn't define us," to "you don't need trauma at all".

And so it goes, on and on, until today.

A lot of these groups didn't call for more research and they twisted research that was already in use. In fact, in 2003, Pavillion, one of these groups, set their sights on the DID wiki. "The Pavilion organization used a system called action alerts to keep track of various DID-related events or articles. Pavilion members would then coordinately inject controversy and natural multiplicity theories into these spaces."

So in actuality, they were actively fighting and hindering research at the time.

I don't think it matters whether they were actually DID or not-- the point remains that people in these movements had nothing to do with the research we have now, and are in no way responsible for the scientific advancements we've seen.

It's in very bad faith for them to say that.

This has gotten long! I hope I covered everything. Feel free to reach out :)

#syscourse #debunk #anti endo #anti endogenic #pluraldeepdive

[checkoutmybookshelf]

He's Just a Herald and He's On Fire!

So, if there is one consistent theme with protagonists in Mercedes Lackey's Valdemar universe, it's that there is a STARTLING number of them who are misfits in their families, misunderstood, and a little anxious and melancholic about the whole thing. You'd think that this would get boring fast, but Lackey manages to mix up the details enough that they don't meld together in my head, and in point of fact, I have actual favorites. One of whom we are talking about today. That's what this post is for. Lan Chitward is one of my favorite herald protagonists. Let's talk Brightly Burning.

Hi, hello, welcome. If this is your first time on my blog, please be warned that this is A SPOILERIFIC ZONE. I will SPOIL THE CRAP OUT OF THIS BOOK. Consider yourself warned.

Y'all, I am a Shakespeare scholar, so if I ever post anything along the lines of "Tragedies suck and I hate them," please send help, I've been kidnapped. Your girl LOVES a good tragedy, and that's really what this book is: An Amazing Tragedy. But that's just the end for Herald Lavan Firestorm and his Companion Kalira.

At the beginning of this book, we meet Lavan "Lan" Chitward, ugly ducking son of a pair of extremely prosperous merchants who feels ignored, misunderstood, and transplanted from the place that made him happiest. Kiddo has zero desire to follow either of his parents into their trades, so when they hit their wits' ends, said parents send Lan to a merchant-run school so Lan can find himself a direction in life that he feels will suit him.

Lan's parents might not be able to empathize or communicate with their son, but they did try to set him up for success. They tried. They get a couple of points for that. Not a lot. But a couple.

Unfortunately for Lan, he gets to discover the downsides of private school firsthand when he is relentlessly and cruelly bullied by older students. Lan's anxiety and very real, rational fear of bodily and social harm get so bad that to save his life, his Firestarting Gift explodes out of his control. By the time the smoke clears, four boys are dead and Lan is being carted up to the palace to explain to Herald Pol what on earth had been happening in his school and how the fire started. Stress from being questioned makes Lan lose control again, but before he can start a second killer fire, Kalira chooses Lan. Handily, Kalira is the daughter of Pol's companion, Satiran, so Pol is aware from the jump that Lan is more than just Kalira's Choice: The two are lifebonded.

Go nuts, Ao3.

However, this is about when the members of the heraldic circle start looking at each other sideways and going, "oh no. Firestarting Gifts usually only pop up when we're going to need them..." So while Lan is getting tutored by Pol, Kalira, his new best friend Tuck, and Pol's daughter Eleanor, Karse is causing trouble at the border--like preparing to invade and burn all the heralds to death trouble. Karse is not your friend, and their sun priests tend to target heralds and healers, and the only thing worse than being killed by Karsite troops is being taken alive to be burned at the stake or--for healers--be forced to use your gift until you burn out and die. So: Bad Situation.

Ultimately, the command decision is made to send Lan to the front. Lan at this point is an emotionally unstable, half-trained at best trainee herald. The poor kid is getting yeeted into a situation he is absolutely unprepared to handle. Before he and Pol even MAKE it to the front, they're attacked by a scout group and Pol is blinded--put a pin in that, we're going to come back to it. So Lan gets to the front already traumatized and somewhat sans his trusted mentor. It's not good.

Ultimately, the title of this book comes back to haunt Lan and Kalira: they burn, too brightly. Kalira takes an arrow in battle to save Lan, and in his grief and rage, Lan unleashes his final strike, taking out the Karsite army, an entire pine forest, and even some of his own soldiers--firestorms are hard to aim. Lan is posthumously raised to full Herald rank, and losing their entire army puts Karse on the shelf. It's the very definition of a pyrrhic victory, however. Lan burned himself out at age sixteen. He was a half-trained child doing his level best, and he was put in a situation that he was objectively unready for. It's heartbreaking, it's tragic...it's WONDERFULLY done.

The entire time you're reading this book and falling in love with Lan and Kalira, you're thinking "they'll be alright, won't they? They have to be alright." But you have enough other beloved characters that you get to know well enough that you also get to mourn with them once Lan and Kalira are gone. You get pulled into this story and you just want to hug Lan and stick him somewhere safe. This is one of my favorite Valdemar books, no question.

This is where I want to just briefly come back to Herald Pol and the attack that costs him his sight. I have no objection about the context in which this occurs. Shit happens in war. It's tragic, it's traumatic, it COMPLETELY SUCKS, but there aren't any red flags in terms of how Pol is disabled. There is also a fairly realistic period in which Pol is trying to adjust to not having sight. He also can see through Satiran's eyes for short periods of time because magic, but since this comes with a cost in energy and magic and doesn't inherently negate the disability, we're still fine. It's an emergency stopgap measure, not a functional cure. So far, so fine.

Unfortunately, there are a couple of things I don't love about how Pol's blinding is handled. The first thing is a bit "your mileage may vary" rather than a genuinely harmful negative representation, but it threw up a faint red flag when I was reading, so I'm talking about it. Traumatic injuries are so described for a reason; people have very very valid feelings and reactions to being suddenly and violently disabled, and part of adjusting is having the time and space to work through those feelings. Now. Pol and Lan are literally in a war zone, they are indispensably important figures, so they can't just be sent home. There also kind of isn't time and space to deal with the emotions in a war zone. All of that is fair enough. It would suck to have to just swallow the feels and keep functioning, and that could even lead to some good narrative tension.

That's not what happens though.

I'll just give you the text from the book for this bit:

Some time during the ride to headquarters, Pol had made up his mind on several points; it had given him relief from the pain to work things logically through in that way. Losing his eyesight was not going to be a tragedy, and if Ilea could not Heal him, then he would simply accept that. The events of the evening only confirmed that belief. He worked through everything as logically as he could during the ride, and during that night and the day and night that followed, in his dreams he was able to employ a technique called directed dreaming to work through things emotionally. It wasn't easy; he exhausted himself all over again, weeping for what he had lost and raging against everyone involved, including himself. But it had to be done, and quickly, and dreams were the best and least harmful place to do so.

I'm not going to say that his experience as a Herald and soldier don't give this some credibility, and I'm not going to say that narrative compression isn't a thing that writers can and do use to get characters from emotional point a to point b, but this stretched my credibility just a skooch and made me go, "They're going to keep him blind, right?"

Reader, they healed him at the end of the book. Can we PLEASE let him live a full herald life while blind??? He was no less effective without his sight than with it, and A LITTLE PHYSICAL DISABILITY REP AMONG THE ACTIVE-DUTY HERALDS WOULD BE LOVELY. Plenty of them live with anxiety, depression, hypervigilance, or other mental health challenges, but heaven forbid a herald have a physical disability.

This is a pattern I'm noticing more and more in books. Soldiers and soldier-adjacent characters can experience mental illness and disability, but not physical. It's that really annoying mind-body split looming large, and I don't have a good solution for this other than letting active duty characters also have physical disabilities, rather than having them be cured, retired, or in roles that never require them to be in the field. And I do get that like...if you are physically disabled, your best bet is not to be in a fight, but that's not how LIFE works. Sometimes the fight comes to you, or your expertise is needed in the field. It happens. LET IT.

Other than my growing frustration with disability rep in military, military-adjacent, and martial-esque organizations in fiction, I love this book to little tiny pieces. It's a beautifully executed tragedy without being self-indulgent or unnecessarily maudlin.

#mercedes lackey #valdemar #heralds of valdemar #herald mages #burning brightly #lan chitward #lavan firestorm #heralds and companions #adult fantasy #fantasy novel #books and reading #books & libraries #books and novels #books #book recommendations #disability representation #kill or cure

[here-comes-the-bard]

man my post from. yesterday or day before. is making me think like. i don't know what it would look like if yaevinn DID decide he was tired of being nice and just wanted to go apeshit. mostly because he's getting to the point of being like. yeah both is good tbh. i will be nice but if you fuck around you will find the fuck out.

he's very much a "my trauma did not make me kind, i made me kind. do not credit my abuser and oppressors for my kindness" person. his philosophy is something along the lines "the world was unkind to me and unkind to others, but why should i be unkind? if I didn't deserve it, neither do others. might as well be a light in a world of darkness". and honestly that's a big part of what makes him who he is. i cannot imagine yaevinn without it honestly.

but i think that's what makes it an interesting exercise. what would yaevinn be like if at some point (after asylum, it's important to note, as really that's The Big One and just kind of amplified the previous issue) he just said "being kind is exhausting and i'm exhausted so fuck this". because aside from the horrors i think it's genuinely exhausting for him to be kind in the face of unkindness. it is simultaneously an effort and an instinct for him. and it's fascinating to wonder what would happen if he not only gave it up, but just went in the opposite direction (because ngl if he just gave up on it as a whole he'd just. kinda vanish off the face of the earth and not interact with anyone).

the thing is, he wouldn't become gleefully cruel. in fact i think he'd actually really dislike it and dislike himself for it, but what else is he supposed to do? it wouldn't feel right, but it'd be all he knew because being "good" clearly wasn't working. i think he'd just feel so. empty. where his world now is filled with colors that can sometimes be overwhelming but that he wouldn't give up for anything, his world in an au where he actually gave it up would be so grey and bland that i kind of think it'd impact his mental health, to put it in a less rough way.

not sure whether he would've missed his calling as an assassin or not but considering he learned his archery and dagger techniques as self-defense i think there's a good chance he wouldn't have.

i think he would've kept a lower profile due to his shame honestly. would've gone from a little timid and anxious to nearly reclusive. wouldn't want let anyone see him like this because the feeling of being inherently bad would become a self-fulfilling prophecy. this is all he is. a monster is all he could've ever been. and yet, he does let people see it. because look what the world has done to him. how can you hold good in your heart when the world has done nothing to return it. he'd see himself in it, and he'd see it as pathetic because of that.

i just like. fr the thing is i think he'd have this constant feeling that it wasn't supposed to happen this way. he wasn't supposed to be like this, and yet there's no other path.

and he doesn't even know that there was. and he could've seen so many beautiful things if he'd kept the kindness in his heart. but how could he? why would he?

i honestly think it's something like this post tbh. just crushed under the weight of his ideals because upholding them broke and splintered every single fucking bone in his body. i might have fundamentally misunderstood the post but isn't art less about what you put into it and more about what people get out of it or something like that.

anyway sorry if you read this whole thesis, be sure to like comment and subscribe for more content that makes me kinda glad i didn't make him worse. i'm gonna make either a pinterest board or a section in his pinterest but considering he is schrodinger's Fundamentally The Same Character (both is and really isn't) i'm not sure. uhhh this is a fun character exercise if you wanna do it. it doesn't have to be an essay tho this is just how i get out my thoughts. ok bye

#the citrus speaks #this bard needs therapy #(so badly) #lemon thesis moment #also dw the likelihood of him ever being like this canonically is zero #again if something happens that makes him snap he is so averse to this that he'd just kinda. completely seclude himself. #even in this circumstance...yaevinn probably has a lair lol #also sorry this isn't super well-written lol this was on the spot and a super like. extended train of thought. not coherent #it's hard because how yaevinn is is so like. established #idk #i'm like insecure about it now but i'm posting it

[deluweil]

Okay but if they really are doing lightning, y'know what often happens to people who get struck by lightning? Their heart stops. Meaning there's a chance we could get Eddie frantically doing compressions on Buck, pleading with him to stay with them--with *him*.

Yes! Omg! I have a whole heart theory, that continues the fandom talk of the heart motif from last season!!

I will make a full post later today, with all the links of previous posts.

But yes! Getting electrocuted will stop Buck's heart, which in turn will "stop" Eddie's, and he will either do the compressions, or be held back by Bobby while Hen and Chimney would.

In 5x06, Buck comes running out and points out to Eddie that Mitchell is dead, and Eddie's response is, "But his heart isn't, and I need it to stay that way."

In 5x14, Buck draws a whimsical heart with a 😏 face, while Christopher drew an actual heart. When Eddie sees it, he thinks it is the opposite until Buck points out that he "misunderstood the assignment" and that sweet smiley heart is his. Eddie holds the smiley heart in his left hand while the actual heart is held by his right.

- I always thought that the meaning is, Buck is Eddie’s heart, and according to Eddie’s will, he would want it to help his son move on in case Eddie doesn't make it.

(Like Mitchell died to give his heart to help his son after his death.)

It all makes for a long ass post lol but overall, yes, I am totally with you!! There is a fair chance of Buck’s heart stopping, and we will (manifesting 😌✨️🙏) get a frantic Eddie, hopefully, he will also be the one doing the compressions. 👀🥺❤️

#i am loving 911 speculations discussions #911 speculations #911 spoilers #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #911 5x06 #911 5x14 #heart theme #it's so prominent in the last few seasons #911 on fox #911 fox #manifesting ✨️ ✨️ ✨️ #deluweil answers