#you're not laughing but I sure fucking am

[lxnarphase]

BITCH, YOU KNOW I'M SEXY ᯓ★

━━ ❝ I'M NOT YOUR MOMMY, N★GGA! FIND A NEW HOBBY, N★GGA! ❞ wc. 5.4k

ᯓ ❤︎₊‧⁺...synopsis : being toji's roommate, you finally snap after another night of not being able to sleep because of his damn late-night hookups. your house, your rules.

ᯓ ❤︎₊‧⁺...cw : blk!fem!reader x f. toji, frenemies to lovers, smut, face-sitting + pussy eating, dumbification, degradation, praise kink, dirty talk, playful arguing, hair pulling, size kink, begging, riding, unprotected sex (do not do this in real life omfg), dom-ish reader, sub-ish toji, lots of pet names, toji being an asshole, toji gets called a 'good boy' a few times

ᯓ ❤︎₊‧⁺...lunar's notes : toji toji toji, what am i going to do with you...anyways, this was super fun and i love these two so much and i need them to go out on a date properly at some point ! if you want to be tagged for the future posts, comment on the main post here ! enjoy baddies ❤︎

you love sleep. absolutely love and cherish it, even.

every night, you follow the routine you set for yourself without fail: hot shower, slipping into some comfy PJs, in-depth skincare, brushing your teeth, and then pulling your bonnet on.

nothing is better than slipping into bed, soft sheets feeling sooo good on your skin. yes, you absolutely love sleep.

except it seems that your roommate has no respect for your need for rest, considering how many times you've had to hear the high-pitched whining of women paired with the annoying thud of the headboard against the wall.

he better not damage the wall either, because he will be the one paying for it.

you both were...sort of friends, sure, but ever since you both graduated college, toji has been doing his best to get on your nerves. constantly picking on you, teasing you, or doing stupid shit that annoys the fuck out of you. especially whenever he leaves the fucking toilet seat up in the middle of the night.

and every time he hears you squeal late at night in the bathroom before shouting his name, he can't help but laugh.

eventually, it went from him just doing things to inconvenience or mess with you to this. and you were tired.

these nightly...activities of his need to be addressed because you are not letting a man of all things be the reason you can't sleep soundly at night. this is your apartment, after all!

it's a friday night and you just know you need to talk to him before you have to hear some woman fighting for her life of toji does...whatever he does that has all these women coming in and out of your apartment like it's a damn brothel...okay, well, it was the same two women, but still!

so that's how you find yourself, pounding on his door, sleepy, tired, and irritated in your hello kitty pajama pants and an oversized t-shirt, ready to get in bed and actually sleep.

"fushiguro, open this damn door," you command, fluffy slipper tapping on the floor as you wait for him to open his door. after a minute, you hear a groan and the shuffling of sheets before the door swings open.

toji stands in the doorway, only in a pair of sweatpants that hang low on his hips with an eyebrow raised as he looks down at you. you don't care how hot he looks, you want nothing more than to wipe that look off his face, hating how smug he looks.

"whaddya want? 's she here already? told 'er not to come for another 2 hours," he mumbles, scratching at the scar on his lip. you're silent for a moment, processing what he just said. "who......no. nononono. absolutely not, tell whoever you are expecting she is not coming into my apartment."

crossing your arms, you fix him with a tough look. sure, you know you aren't the scariest thing, especially in hello kitty pants and puffy slippers, but it doesn't matter! he is going to respect your wishes or...or else!

"aww, what's wrong, doll? can't sleep," he teases, voice low and sinfully smooth as smirk finds its way onto his face. "guess ya should've invested in those headphone y'keep talkin' about so much. can't help that 'm just that good that the girlies can't keep their mouths shut."

having you in front of his bedroom door like this...it's so fucking adorable to him, you were just so cute and didn't have a single clue, did you? complaining that he and his little playthings were too loud and keeping you up was not what he expected. but, toji won't lie, he's genuinely surprised it took you so long to finally say something.

it seems his little comment struck a cord, his smirk getting bigger when your eyes get just a bit wider in disbelief. man, you were so fucking cute like this, all angry and huffy.

"okay, first of all, those headphones are NOT comfy to sleep with at night. and i'm not dropping almost $400 dollars on something so that i can accommodate for you," you argue, stepping forward and jabbing your finger into his stupidly big chest.

no, seriously, why were his pecs almost bigger than your tits?

"can you please just let me sleep for one night, or are you that sex deprived you can't go a single night without getting your dick wet?"

whatever this new side of you was, he liked it.

"aww, sounds like little princess s' mad no one's fuckin' her right. ya not gettin' fucked good, pipsqueak? haven't seen yer boy-toy around lately anyways.

"god, that's—that's none of your fucking business, fushiguro, shut up!"

"make me."

you blink.

a moment passes...and suddenly, your eyes are sharp.

ah...he might've fucked up with those two simple words.

"...you know what? i will, you annoying fuck."

catching toji off guard, you shove him back, taking advantage of him stumbling to walk inside his room as you slam the door shut behind you. a light chuckle escapes him, eyebrows raises. "so, the little kitten does have claws," he says with a grin.

his little roommate seems to have grown a pair of balls. what is she gonna do? hit him with pillows, curse him out, kick him out? pffft, if you kicked him out he would know you needed sleep, you both have been friends for too long...right?

as toji gets slightly worried he might've genuinely crossed a line (a bit too late to realize that, he realizes), you push him onto his bed, standing between his legs.

oh.

oh, he...he likes you from his angle, looking down at him with a little bit of a pout on those pretty full lips of yours as you try soooo hard to look angry and scary. but how can he be scared when his roommate, the one he's been fucking his hand for, looks so fucking cute?

curly hair a bit frizzy and messy (he's surprised you don't have your bonnet on yet), smelling like cocoa butter and that strawberry shortcake body spray that haunts him at night. and now you're in his fucking room. he'd never be able to escape it now.

fuck, every time you came close to him, he just suddenly couldn't process anything except you...he needed to get a grip.

propping himself up on his elbows, toji locks eyes with you, playing off his surprise. "what's gotten into ya, roomie? so aggressive, might have t' call shiu to come get you," he attempts to playfully poke. the tension in the room grows when you start to massage your temples, trying to calm down.

in.

out.

in.

out.

in-

"well, if lack of sleep is gettin' you all huffed up like this, i gotta couple o' ways t' tire ya out if y'need."

"oh my god, y'talk too fucking much," you grumble.

toji opens his mouth, ready to make another smart comment but he's shocked into silence when you tug your pajama pants off. there's no fucking way this is real. toji knows he has to be dreaming and knowing he'd be waking up with a wet spot in his pants if he didn't wake up soon.

and...are you wearing hello kitty boxer briefs too? god, you're such a fucking dork, it's cute and it's only making him harder in his pants.

but all of that is forgotten when you hook your fingers in the waistband of those stupid looking boxers and drag them down those pretty legs and toji gets a glimpse of your cute, pudgy tummy and...and....

fuck.

he doesn't even get a chance to think, he's so fucking hard. you're fucking half naked in his room right now and he can't tear his eyes away from how soft you look, that little patch of hair (is it shaped like a fucking heart? jesus fucking christ, you were serious about making yourself feel pretty everywhere), god, he's so fucked.

"shit. someone's eager. just couldn' wait to-"

"i'm so sick of you," you cut off, pushing him down onto the bed, crawling up his chest. you give him a look, one that he instantly understands and he smirks, giving you a nod before you continue moving until your hips hover over his face.

the smirk melts off his face when he realizes how real this is. your bare pussy is literally mere inches away from his mouth, so close he can practically taste you.

he's not gonna make it out of this alive, is he?

when you see him about to open his mouth to make another stupid comment, you move, pressing your hips down onto his face, shutting him up. "you wanna use your mouth so much, toj? i'll give you somethin' to use it on."

toji's response is just a muffled groan, his eyes fluttering a little. his hands move up to grip your thighs to steady you and also keep you on his face. he hasn't even tasted you, but shit, you smell so good.

wasting no more time, his tongue hungrily darts out, desperate to taste you. the moment he licks over your folds, he's sighing, melting into the bed. you're so soft, so sweet and he hasn't even gotten a taste from the main source. pulling you down onto his face a bit harder, toji finally swipes through your cunt and he's addicted.

"mmh, fuck," he grunts, burying his face as deep as possible. what the actual fuck are you made of, he thinks to himself. you taste so sweet, he's getting so dizzy as he starts to messily lap up all the slick dripping from your pussy. he barely pulls away from you to breathe, taking just a second to part, his hot breath fanning against the wet mess between your legs before he dives right back in, his low groans resonating against your core so nicely.

toji slurps loudly at your cunt, unable to stop himself from rolling his hips up, the friction of his sweats on his cock a sweet relief. he's so sure this is heaven, thanking whatever god there is for making you snap to this point but then you start talking.

you sigh, hips gently rocking against toji's face as your eyes open to look down your body at him. "mmn, 's better," you purr to yourself, little sweet noises of pleasure escaping you as one of your hands runs through his hair, giving him an encouraging little tug.

"should i just give you my pussy every night so you let me sleep, toj," you coo at him, a smug smile on your face. he didn't even notice his eyes slipped shut, but he opens them, flickering up to meet your lidded gaze and see the pride swirling around your eyes.

has his roommate always been like this? toji doesn't remember you being so fucking sexy like this. sure, you've always been attractive, and he's definitely had a thing for you for a while. but never in his life did he think his sweetheart of a friend would be smushing his face into her soft cunt.

his response is a little nod and an increase in his tongue's movements against your sloppy pussy. his lips move to suck right at your puffy clit, and he swears nearly cums when you gasp his name and whine, pulling him even deeper by his hair.

his train of thought is completely destroyed, he can't think of anything but you, can't feel anything but you, can't see, can't smell, can't taste anything but you.

he'd kill a man if it meant being able to taste you like this every fucking day.

"ohh, tojibaby, y'look s' pretty eating my pussy...poor thing, jus' needed something to shut you up for a bit."

scratch that, he'd kill SEVERAL men if it meant hearing you sing praises like that while you grind against his mouth, practically suffocating him with your thighs.

it's addicting, the way slick is gushing out of you each time he kisses your clit before sucking on it, coating his mouth. toji knows he looks a wreck, but he doesn't care, not when he's got you on him like this.

"d'you wanna make me cum, toj?" you ask it so teasingly, tugging his hair again and making him moan. "you're makin' out with my pussy...such a good boy for me."

those two words are his undoing, a visible shift in his energy. his eyes are sharp, and he almost looks angry as he grips your thighs even harder. "yes, fuck, yeah, mama, i wanna make you cum all over my face," he growls, tongue unrelenting when it slips back inside of your cunt, a nasty wet noise filling the air as you keen. he's fucking you with his tongue so messily, like he'll die if he stops tasting you.

good boy. you called him a good boy.

the compliment made something snap in him, the need to devour you whole the only thing on his mind. he's not just a good boy, no, he's your good boy, and the thought of being yours makes a thick bead of precum to drip out of his cock and stain his sweatpants.

he's brought back when you tug his head back to look at you, that thick tongue of his slipping out of you.

"i don't want you bringing anymore fucking women in my house, fushiguro," you warn, glaring down at him. you're serious. if you see another girl come in here at 11pm, you might actually kill this man in his sleep and not in a way he'd like

"i'm so tired of hearing their annoying moans. if you need a pussy to put your stupid dick in, just ask me, you fuckin' idiot." shit, you usually never talk like this, but toji likes this side of you. the usually sweet and kind roommate he was so used to was no where to be seen, replaced with this commanding and no-nonsense woman who knew what she wanted.

he can't even deny, this side of you is such a massive turn on.

"promise you're gonna let me fuckin' sleep n' i'll cum on your pretty mouth, fushiguro. otherwise, i'm getting up and i'll call shiu and see if he wants a taste."

oh, fuck no. no way in hell is toji letting that smug bastard see you like this, best friend or not.

he desperately nods, just wanting you to let go of his hair so he can dive back into your sweet pussy, licking his lips to taste you again.

"promise, mama, no more bringing other women, jus' you, don't need nobody else but you, y'got my word."

"that's my good boy."

once you let go of his hair, toji dives right back to the task at hand like man possessed. his lips press against your clit, kissing it with little wet smacks before sucking it into his mouth. his tongue doesn't give you a break, flicking over it rapidly. your moans, god, your moans are getting so loud and so pretty, his eyes never leaving your face as he watches you get closer and closer.

"c'mon, doll, please," he begs, a whininess in his voice as he massages your thick thighs, encouraging you to ride his face until you cream all over it. "give it t' me, give me what i wan', cum all over my face, baby girl."

feeling how you start to move your hips, a sweet little 't-toji, 'm gonna cum' falling from your lips, his hands grasp your ass as he seals his mouth over your cunt, sucking and licking desperately.

he needs it.

he needs you.

needs you so fucking bad.

feeling him mutter those words against your cunt makes you gasp and choke out his name, thighs squeezing around his head. "oh, fuck, toji, 'm cummin, baby!" your hands are both in his hair as you desperately hump against his mouth, body shaking with the force of your orgasm.

he doesn't stop, he keeps his mouth on you to make sure not a drop of your sweet cum goes to waste. he can feel it spilling out of his mouth, down his chin and neck. it's so messy, just how he likes it.

he watches you, how could he even think to take his eyes off you? you're so pretty, do you even realize how your hair got puffier and messier from your sweating, how a few of those tiny curls got stuck to your skin?

"g-god, fuck, toj, hoohmygod, your mouth 's so good, nngh!"

shit, you're pretty, so fucking pretty, what the fuck? god, you even cum pretty, toji's so fucked. why didn't he get you on his face like this sooner?

feeling your tremors start to subside, toji slows his tongue, switching to little licks and then to soft kisses against your clit, keeping you grounded as you come down from your high. the fact he didn't paint the inside of his sweatpants white is a miracle, but he knows the front is wet and stained.

when he feels you relax, toji guides you off his face and down to sit on his chest. he can't help the twinkle in his eye, grinning at you proudly. the bottom half of his face is a mess, covered in his spit and your slick. you like this look on him.

"has anyone ever told you that you've got t'most addicting pussy ever?"

you huff a laugh, urging him to move up further on the bed until his back rests against the pillows. he was so annoying, and you hated how attractive it made him. “you’re too awake for my liking," you sarcastically huff, giving him a sweet little pout that makes him feel a bit more things than he probably should.

tugging his sweatpants down, you let out a little noise of surprise.

ah.

it all makes sense now. no wonder those girls sounded like they were dying.

"toji, what the actual hell is wrong with you?!"

"don't get mad at me, ma, i didn't magically make my dick this size! i just got lucky!"

"lucky?! girl, this is a curse, how the fuck did those girls fit this thing in them?!"

"they didn't."

that makes you pause. they couldn't get him all the way inside? glancing down at his cock, heavy in your hand, as he helps to get his pants completely off, you're not surprised. but you could take it, right?

...guess you need to find out.

shifting your hips, you move to swipe his cock through your slick pussy, a smug look on your face when he sharply inhales. "i'm gettin' my revenge, pretty boy, for all the sleep you made me lose. 's late, anyways, yeah? don't we need to sleep soon?"

the head of his cock catches onto your entrance, causing you both to sigh in pleasure. this would be a stretch, but you're determined by pure spite from toji and those women keeping you up at night.

while you're teasing him, toji is a breath away from losing his mind. the sight of you taking charge, hair completely fluffy now from the humidity in the room, has his cock pulsing in your soft hand. he's so sure that you're not gonna be able to take it all in. shit, he's wondering if he should stop you, tell you he's gotta prep you first or else it's gonna hurt, but you use your free hand to grab his face, making him look at you as an evil grin breaks out on your face.

"i'm gonna put you t' sleep with my pussy. uhm, something something, call that pussy nyquil," you giggle, slipping the tip of his cock inside of your wet, tight little cunt.

melting, that's the best way toji can describe the feeling of behind inside you, even if it's just the tip. "jesus," he hisses, his hands coming up to grip your hips. you're so hot inside, your tight walls are so snug around him. there's no way this tight cunt of yours is gonna be able to fit him in, there's not fucking way.

despite that, he finds himself guiding you down onto him, trying his hardest not to buck up into you. but the sensation of your soft, gummy walls squeezing him so perfectly is making it so challenging to stay still.

"fuck, mama...shit," he groans, watching as he is sucked into your warm pussy. once you get halfway, he expects you to stop, and that's usually where they all do. he was fine with that, more than fine, because he's never been inside someone so fucking tight.

but then, you raise your hips until just the tip is inside, and with a devious little giggle, you slam your hips down, gasping when you get him in all the way. damn, you realize it was a stupid idea, the stretch making you feel almost sick, but the reaction you get out of toji is worth it.

his head falls back against the headboard, and he whimpers, eyes rolling back into his skull, his lip pulled between his teeth as he tries to relearn how to think.

“i'm gonna make you cum and ‘m gonna fuck you stupid for not letting me sleep, fushiguro.” giving yourself a bit to get used to his size, you slowly started moving, seeing what angle worked best for you.

meg the stallion, i'm gonna make you proud of me, you think with a little smirk before you steady yourself with your hands on his chest and start to bounce your hips, your cute little threat only making his cock throb inside you.

"'m gonna make you regret bein' an asshole to your pretty roommate, pretty boy."

it doesn't take long for it to get messy, for it to get so fucking sloppy and noisy. each time you bring your hips down, the room is filled with a wet smack. you've really made a mess out of him, your sticky wet coating his fat cock and his lap, thick strands of it connecting you to him with each raise of your hips before you bring them right back down.

toji can't breathe, finally tilting his head back up as his eyes are glued to where his cock slips in and out of you. you're taking him, taking all of him into your sticky cunt and, shit, he thinks he might die like this.

"fuck, fuck, mama, c'mon, don' do this t' me, relax, please, fuckin' strangling my cock, oh my god—"

he's whining, it's so cute. who knew you could get toji fushiguro, mr. tough guy, to crumble under you like this so easily? it's so wet and gushy, the sound of your thick body smacking back down on his only making his insides twist in pleasure. he can feel how fucking wet you are, dripping down his cock, down his balls, it's so unfair.

"tojiii, talk t' me," you coo at him, your sweet voice bringing him back. "don't tell me my pussy's making you dumb already, jus' started."

you did, you're literally fucking him dumb, and he doesn't know what to do or what to say, but hearing you say his name like that in-between moans as you bounce your hips up and down his throbbing shaft has his babbling in an instant.

"god, this cunt 's perfect, baby, s' fucking perfect."

“yeah? y’like my pussy, toj? like my pretty cunt creaming on you?” you roll your hips, a pretty moan leaving you when his tip nudges against that soft spot perfectly. “f-fuck, you really are big...poor thing, no one could get it in all the way? am, mh, am i the first t’ take this fat cock t’ the hilt, tojibaby?”

you lean forward, hands moving from his chest to around his neck as you roll your hips, swiveling them in ways that have him gushing precum all over the insides of your cunt. the squelches your cunt makes with each roll is so fucking sinful and so nasty.

"y-yeah, mama, she feels s' good around me, all tight and warm, milking my cock like it's made just for you."

god, you smell so good...he can still smell your perfume and the sweet blueberry scent of your leave-in. you smell so sweet and taste so sweet too, he's so fucking lucky to have you fucking him like this. toji's hands move from your hips to your ass, helping you fuck yourself on his dick, groaning your name.

"god, you're the first to take it all, y'got me so fucking deep in that sloppy lil' cunt that y'can feel me in your stomach."

you giggle between moans, pressing your forehead against his. "y'so cute, toji, such a good boy f' me, yeah? feels so much better knowin' you can just tell me if you need me to put you to sleep, right?"

he groans, nodding as his eyes flutter closed again. "y-yeah, yes, baby, feels s' much better," he admits, breathless as he starts to get close. he can feel you getting tighter, getting wetter, and he'll be damned if he cums before you do.

"aww, listen t' you," you say with a little whine, your dominant mask starting to ebb away as you start to grow weaker and weaker. it's starting to feel good, really good, to the point where you can't think either, and you don't know how much more of this you can do. "m-my pretty boy, my good boy, f-fuckin' me s...s-so good..."

the moment he picks up the whininess in your voice, toji is alert, looking into your eyes to find that the pleasure is finally catching up to you, too. "yeah? yeah, mama? she's feelin' good? fuck, 'm gonna fuckin' fill you up, baby, gotta cream this pretty pussy so deep that she feels it f' days," he grunts, mouth open as he pants against your lips.

they look so pretty, he wonders if you taste like that lip balm you always carry, if your tongue is as sweet as you are, if your plump lips are as soft as they look. the thought of them pressing against his is what breaks him, and he's so embarrassed at the noise he makes before leaning back against the pillows and planting his feet into the mattress.

"i gotta fuck you, gotta fuck you good, 'm sorry, 'm so sorry, baby, promise i'll let you sleep, promise i'll be good for ya, okay? mm, fuck, c'mon, let toji make it better, gonna kiss your cunt with my cock and make it up t' ya."

toji fucks into your hole desperately, groaning at the loud wet plaps of his hips smacking against yours. your moans, god, your moans, they're so pretty, you're so pretty. he can see your tits bouncing against the fabric of the shirt you have on, and he curses, so fucking mad he didn't have you take it off. but he doesn't care, not right now, not when he sees how gorgeous you look.

he's so fucking prideful when he sees how poofed out your hair is, bouncing with each thrust up into you. "y're so fucking pretty, c'mere."

one of his hands grabs you by the back of the head and smushes his lips against yours, hungry as he licks over them before shoving his stupidly thick tongue inside your mouth. the kiss is just as messy as the rest of you, and the pitiful little moan you give has him reeling.

"i-i'm, 'm gonna cum, toj," you whisper against his mouth, nails biting into his shoulders as you do your best to match his pace. you're gonna cum, he's gonna make you cum, you're about to cum all over his fucking dick, jesus christ.

"fuck, you're so hot, so cute, mama, my pretty girl. need ya t' cum, dolly, can y'do that for me? please, baby, cum on me, make a mess s' i can fill you up an' apologize like i promised," he rambles before kissing you again, biting your lip before running his tongue over it.

it's so close, you can taste it. it's so unfair how big his cock is, how you can feel every vein and throb of it inside of you, how you can feel his hot precum smudging all over your velvety walls.

the realization that he's inside you raw has you moaning so sweetly, and your pussy is gripping him for dear life as you dig your nails into his shoulders even more, head falling forward. "t-toji, 'm, 'm gonna—f-fuck!"

you're cumming, you're cumming on him, and it feels so fucking good. you're creaming all over his lap, and your crying and moaning his name so sweetly he feels like he's gonna pass out. "baby, babyyy, no, lemme see, lemme see you cum," he begs, the hand in your hair tilting your head back up and the view he gets has his hips stuttering inside you.

your eyes are unfocused, long lashes wet from tears as you pant and whimper for him, all for him. and when you make eye contact with him, he feels your gummy walls squeeze him so tight.

"oh, fuck, yes, mama, jus' like that. keep cummin' on me, keep goin', 'm so close, gonna cum, gonna cum in this pretty pussy s' fuckin' deep you feel it in your tummy," toji babbles before he's losing himself too, pressing your head against his chest as he fucks into you, savoring your overstimulated cries for him. "'s gonna go deep, so fuckin' deep an' i'm gonna fuckin' eat it outta you, just like y-you fuckin' deserve—!"

with a pathetic sounding groan of your name, he's giving one, two, three, four hard, deep thrusts, moaning as he pumps his thick load into you, feeling your oversensitive pussy milking him dry. "g-good boy, g'fucking boy, tojiii," you whimper, moving from his chest to pepper kisses all over his face, moaning softly as you feel his hot cum coating your walls.

his mind is so blissfully blank that he doesn't even realize he's shaking a little bit from how hard he just came. cooing happily at him, you cup his cheeks, trying to bring him back down to you. "come back t' me tojiiii, don't die on me, roomie!"

still reeling from his insanely intense orgasm, manages a little chuckle, his hand moving from your ass to under your shirt, stroking your back. "'m here, 'm here, promise...i just...shit. ya fuckin' drained me, girly. what the hell are you?"

you laugh, kissing the corner of his mouth before nestling under his chin to catch your breath. "I'm your damn friend who happens to be the roommate you have been tormenting by not letting me sleep, dumbass."

"heh. fair point."

you both stay like this for a bit, just resting a little and trying to catch your breath. except...toji's eyes feel a little heavy, and he feels himself drifting away. "there you goooo," you coo, hand running through his hair. "told ya i'd put you to sleep."

"yeah, yeah, you were right," he grumbles and opens an eye, hand coming up to pinch your cheek. "jus' a lil' nap, okay? we still gotta get you cleaned up. after all, i promised i'd clean my cum outta ya, right?"

"my god, toji, you are nasty."

"but you like ittttt."

you couldn't stop yourself from laughing because, yes, you did. you liked it a lot.

soon, the room falls quiet as toji's breathing falls into rhythm with yours, the rise and fall of his chest steady and slow. his mind is still a bit dazed, and he can't help but get a little flustered as he realizes how badly he's wrapped around your little finger. the thought is only further confirmed when he feels his heart squeeze just a bit when he notices you fell asleep on his chest.

he wraps his arms around you in a gentle embrace, huffing to himself. yeah, so what he was whipped, he finally got you in his arms, so he sees it as a win.

as sleep finally starts to creep up on him, he presses a little kiss to your forehead, leaning back against the pillows and shutting his eyes. just a little nap, and then he'll get you cleaned up and make sure you accept his apology for everything he's put you through.

...he just hopes you won't be too grumpy when you realize you fell asleep without your bonnet on.

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ᯓ ❤︎₊‧⁺...lunar's tags : @satoruwiki @llllllllllllloser @screampied @abcdbleh @vicfuentesfangirl @sakurapeach @ohsuguru @crywolfix @naughtygobbo @aura88967 @jeanine-gt @tananaxx @tojancy @happymangosstuff

#toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro smut #toji x reader #toji smut #toji fushigro x reader #toji fushiguro x you #toji x black reader #jjk x black reader #black fem reader #jujutsu kaisen x black reader #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #toji fushiguro x black reader #black reader #𖤐 ── lxnarworks. #🔪 ── toji.

[diazsdimples]

hi! if you're still doing them from the make 'em swoon prompts: pulling them on their lap + bucktommy pleasee <3

Hey! I sure am! Enjoy!

Tommy was early. Tommy was early for their date and Buck was stressing.

They'd organised for Tommy to come over at 6pm, and Buck was going to stun him with his culinary prowess and cook them dinner, after they'd snacked on some of the chips and beer Buck had fished out of his pantry.

Buck had been prepping for dinner all afternoon, getting the chicken marinading nice and early and chopping the vegetables so all he'd have to do was throw them in the pan and sauté them while Tommy waited. He'd been so busy doing that that he'd completely lost track of time, and now it's 5:55pm, he's not put any of the snacks out and Tommy is fucking early.

"Hey," Buck greets Tommy as he pulls the door open, sounding extremely flustered.

"Hey yourself," Tommy says, slipping in through the door. He snakes an arm around Buck's waist and pulls him close, pressing a soft but sweet kiss to his lips. "How are you doing?"

"Better, now," Buck says, letting out a breathy sigh as he lets himself melt into Tommy's embrace. "You're early."

"Yeah," Tommy shrugs, a small, almost apologetic smile on his lips. "I got excited. Can I help with anything?"

"No, no, I got it. Go sit down," Buck says with a wave of his hand, directing Tommy to the couch he'd finally picked out a few weeks back. "Make yourself at home."

Tommy gives him a little salute before turning and walking off, and Buck lets himself admire his ass for a moment, biting his lip before he shakes his head and turns his attention back to the kitchen.

Buck flies around like a man on fire as he rushes to get the chips, dip, and beer onto the coffee table. Tommy watches him with a half amused smile playing across his lips as Buck trips over his feet and knocks over a cup. He's dimly aware of Tommy asking questions or making conversation as he hurries around, but he doesn't really reply, too focused on getting everything perfect and the way it should have been before Tommy arrived.

Buck has just placed down two bottles of beer on the coffee table and is about to rush off to grab napkins when Tommy stops him with an arm around his waist, and pulls Buck into his lap.

Buck sits down heavily, letting out a small squeak of surprise, and squirms to get out of Tommy's grasp.

"Hey, Evan, slow down a second," Tommy laughs good-naturedly as he rubs soothing circles into Buck's arm.

"But I-" Buck begins, gesturing helplessly towards the kitchen, where their dinner lays, waiting to be cooked. "I've gotta make dinner!"

"Dinner can wait," Tommy replies, tightening his grip around Buck's waist. He nuzzles at Buck's jaw, pressing a light kiss right the hinge. "Been wanting to hold you all day."

Buck lets out a breathy sigh, tilting his head slightly, and his eyes flutter closed.

"Really?" He murmurs, allowing himself to relax and cuddle further into Tommy's arms.

"Yeah," Tommy smiles, placing another kiss to the underside of Buck's jaw. He slides a hand up Buck's chest, cupping his cheek and pulling him closer until their lips are barely brushing. "Missed you, baby."

Buck's lips twitch up into a smile as his eyes slowly flicker open. He reaches a hand up to tangle in the hair at the nape of Tommy's neck, and pulls him in for a searing kiss.

The angle is a little awkward, with Buck having to lean down and twist his torso, but neither of them seem to care, both content to let themselves melt into the kiss. Tommy's hands roam along the planes of Buck's back, scratching with his blunt nails, and Buck's fingers shivers as the sensation sends zings of electricity down his spine and straight to his slowly-hardening cock.

When they pull away, they're both breathless, panting lightly into each other's mouths. Buck leans his forehead against Tommy's, letting his eyes drift shut and his breathing even out.

"I missed you, too," He murmurs, running his hand through the hairs at the back of Tommy's neck. "You sure you're not hungry right now?"

"Oh I'm hungry alright," Tommy replies, his voice deep and husky, and he reels Buck back in for another bruising kiss, their teeth clicking and lips moving in tandem as they each fight for dominance.

Yeah, Buck thinks they probably won't be eating for a while.

Make 'em swoon prompts!!

Tagging some Bucktommy friends (I think?)

@theotherbuckley @bidisasterevankinard @hippolotamus @watchyourbuck @loveyouanyway

@wikiangela @jesuisici33 @slightlyobsessedwitheverything @neverevan (lmk if Bucktommy isn't actually something you vibe with and I shall not tag)

#james answers things #james writes #make 'em swoon #anon #asks #asked and answered #bucktommy #bucktommy ficlet #evan buckley #tommy kinard #911 abc #911 #911verse #911 fanfic #buck x tommy #tevan #tevan fic #kinkley

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

Jason is bothering you, he's determined to get to Eddie through you and does his best to annoy you and get you down. You hide this from Eddie but he finds out.

Angst with a happy ending. Protective Eddie.

💞

Jason had been annoying you all week.

At first it was just stupid taunts in the hallway, taunts you would ignore by holding your head high and walking away. You rarely gave the asshole the time of day.

Unless he was pissing off your boyfriend Eddie, then you had no problem letting Jason know what you thought of him.

Yesterday and today had been different from Jason's usual taunts though. Yesterday he was borderline hostile and when you walked past him, he made sure to stick his foot out so you fell to the floor.

The fall had caused bruising on your knees and you were torn between humiliation and fury. What the hell was that douchebag's problem?

Today has been even worse. Jason specifically sought you out to pick at you and upended the contents of his milkshake on you.

He left you shaking with tears and covered in the liquid. He actually smirked and laughed, then walked away as if it was no big deal.

Robin saw everything and helped clean you up but you were still shaky and nervous about what Jason would do next. Fuck, if you told Eddie he would hit the roof.

You decided to keep this to yourself for now.

💞

It's hard to not tell Eddie anything because Jason's taunts and the fact that your legs are aching. You've been trying to relax with Eddie but Jason's words keep playing on your mind and Eddie is suspicious about the bruising on your legs. You can tell he doesn't buy that you tripped.

"Sweetheart, are you sure you're okay? I can feel something is wrong. I know my princess and I know you're down" tears pool in your eyes and Eddie's hands tighten around your waist.

He gently wipes your tears away, feels his heart clench at you being upset.

"Sweetheart, please tell me what's wrong?" He hates seeing you cry, it physically pains him and if he finds out the reason, if someone has made you upset then there will be hell to pay.

"Jason, he's been annoying me all week and the last few days he's been really bad. He tripped me up and I have bruising on my knees, he poured his milkshake on me and has just been a dickhead all week"

Eddie freezes, hot fury pools in his body and he's shaking. He's never felt this pissed off in his life.

Jason could do whatever he wanted to him but you? His girl, his princess. You were off limits.

He will deal with Jason tomorrow. For now he's going to make sure that you're okay. He gently pulls you onto his lap and presses tender kisses to your lips and forehead.

"Eddie?, you're not going to do anything rash are you?" You're peering up at him anxiously and he soothes you for a few seconds.

"Don't you worry princess, everything will be okay"

💞💞

Eddie wastes no time in finding Jason the next day, he's laughing with his friends and Eddie stalks up to them and one look from him sends them scurrying away.

"What's up freak?" Jason smirks at him and that pisses Eddie off even more.

"Heard you've been bothering my girl asshole"

Eddie smirks as Jason pales. Good, he hopes the asshole is scared.

Jason feels his blood run cold. That smirk is full of cold fury and he realises how much he's fucked up.

"You go near my girl again, you touch even one hair on her head and there will be hell to pay. You hear me?" Jason snorts and Eddie's eyes narrow.

"I mean it Carver. I am not a violent person but I will make an exception for you dickhead" Jason seems to get the hint and he visibly shrinks under Eddie's death glare then hurries off.

With that sorted and enough time wasted on Carver he heads away to find you.

💞💞

Jason walks around with his tail between his legs all week and yet he says nothing. You don't realise that Eddie scared the crap out of him, you're just thankful Jason is leaving you in peace.

You snuggle into Eddie and he kisses your forehead, he flips the bird to Jason and dotes on you for the rest of the day.

Jason doesn't bother you again. Not with Eddie the Brave at your side.

#eddie munson x you #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson imagine #eddie request

[thealternateuniverse]

A Misunderstanding

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

-------

Y/N shut out the world by putting her headphones on, music blaring, as she walked towards the cafeteria with good spirits. Her weekend had been well spent after decluttering her apartment. Her dad had left her a message last night, informing her that he would be out of town but would return before their match against Iowa.

For some reason, she couldn't stop thinking about the Paranoia game from last time and how Paige had just revealed she was into Hannah Jump. Hannah was her teammate back in Stanford, and Y/N admitted, aside from being talented on the court, she was good in academics and... really pretty. It was itching her to know if Paige would pursue Hannah or not; after all, she had just admitted she liked her. Paige might appear as the fuckboy type among their lot but she might be the most decent one when it comes to relationship. She never pursued anyone ,yet, probably some flirtations but never to the point of dating. Her world seems to revolve only in basketball. Regardless, it is not her business.

She opened TikTok last night, only to be blasted by Paige Bueckers edits in her feed. The algorithm must have been playing some kind of joke on her, she thought, feeling a mix of amusement and irritation at the coincidence.

Shrugging off the thought, Y/N lazily slipped her hands into her hoodie's pocket and ambled towards her destination. Her train of thoughts got cut off when she almost stumbled, feeling a weight on her back that nearly sent her crashing to the ground.

"The fuck b— What the hell Paige Bueckers!"

Y/N exclaimed, cursing every inch of Paige's being as she struggled to regain her balance while supporting Paige's weight.

Paige, seemingly unfazed by the near disaster she caused, had the audacity to laugh.

"You nearly broke my back, Paige! I could've broken your face too!"

Y/N protested for the last time, yet still allowed Paige to remain on her back.

"Damn right, you're heavy," Y/N grunted under Paige's weight. It seemed she had no intention of getting off anytime soon. Despite being almost the same height, Paige had bulked up since her ACL recovery.

"Suck it up, Miller. Don't be a loser," Paige encouraged, oblivious to Y/N's struggle.

"Yeah, and you'll be the loser if I drop you here." she bit back a response.

By the time they reached the cafeteria, Y/N was already sweating, carrying Paige acting as a warm-up.

She hadn't actually seen Paige face-to-face yet, so when she dropped her off, she almost stuttered. Paige's hair wasn't tied up today, and she was only wearing her sleeveless compression top, which fit her perfectly, sticking it to the right places.

"Hey, Miller. I know I look good; stop ogling," Paige called out with a playful airiness, teasing Y/N as she caught her glance.

Y/N rolled her eyes, attempting to conceal her embarrassment from being caught gawking.

"No braids today?" she asked before Paige could further boost her ego.

"Kayla is out of town, so..." Paige shrugged. "You can braid it later before practice."

"Yeah, and make sure you took a shower today; I don't want some greasy hair," Y/N quipped with a playful smirk.

Paige feigned being hurt, putting both her hands on her chest in mock offense.

"You're so mean, dude. You don't know what some people are going through," Paige said, shaking her head while placing her hand on Y/N's shoulder.

"You're so dramatic. Now if you'll get out of my way please, I am hungry." Y/N retorted with a chuckle, nudging Paige playfully.

Paige stepped aside, allowing Y/N to pass, and followed after.

Y/N couldn't help but notice something different about Paige today; she seems to be perky.

"What's gotten into you today, Paige?" Y/N stopped and turned to confront Paige. The latter merely bestowed onto her a deep grin that extended to her eyes.

"Nothing, why? Is it a crime to be in a good mood?" Paige remarked, rolling her shoulders, a clear indication of her upbeat demeanor.

Y/N shook her head in disbelief but decided to let it go, opting instead to grab her breakfast.

-------

"Stay put, Paige Madison, you're gonna ruin my braids," Y/N insisted, gently placing her hand on Paige's shoulder to keep her still while she worked on her hair.

"What's taking you so long? Kayla does it quickly," Paige complained.

In truth, Y/N was deliberately taking her time. She needed to steady her hands, unsure why they were shaking. After all, she'd done this countless times before. But being so close to Paige felt different, almost unfamiliar. And Paige's hair, soft and smelling of peppermint, tempted her to linger, to breathe in the scent and savor the moment.

"There, finally done."

Taking one last satisfied look, Y/N released Paige. "There, all done," she announced proudly. This time, she'd opted for a Dutch braid, a departure from Paige's usual signature hairstyle.

"Thanks, but I'm still the best," Paige quipped with a playful grin

"Oh, really? Care to make a bet?" Y/N challenged, a mischievous glint in her eye.

---------------------

The team's lounge was unusually quiet following practice. The girls taking the opportunity to catch up on sleep after the exhausting training session.

Meanwhile, Y/N sat on the edge of her seat, nervously tapping her foot as she debated whether to open it or not. She found herself repeatedly switching it on and off, unable to make up her mind.

Cameron's message had left Y/N in a dilemma. Eventually, she rose to pack her things and switched off her phone. As she moved, she suddenly halted, blinking as the vision in her left eye began to blur. Panic welled up as she feared she might pass out. She turned around to her left, unaware of Paige, who had just emerged from the shower. Their heads collided.

"What the heck! Are you blind or something, dawg?" Paige exclaimed, rubbing the spot where they had collided.

"Oh yeah? And today I discovered just how thick your skull is," Y/N retorted, her tone dripping with sarcasm.

"But seriously, are you okay?" Paige asked, concern evident in her voice.

"Yeah, actually, I am blind. I didn't see you," Y/N admitted.

"Probably because your contact lens is off," Paige suggested, seeing the uneven eye color. Her left green and right hazel.

"Oh," Y/N replied, mentally chastising herself for forgetting her own condition.

"Here, let me help you. Stay put," Paige said as she draped her towel over a chair and gently guided Y/N's head with her hands to assist in fixing her contact lens.

"How am I supposed to know you're not going to poke m--"

"Quiet, almost done," Paige interrupted, her tone firm but reassuring.

As Paige worked, the room seemed to grow warmer. It was the second time they had been this close outside of the court, and Y/N found herself uncomfortable with her blurry vision, unable to clearly see Paige's features up close. Yet, paradoxically, she also found solace in the blurred lines, grateful that she wouldn't have to dwell on the details of their encounters today.

"There, done," Paige announced, and Y/N blinked, relieved to find her vision clear once more.

"T-thanks," Y/N stuttered, clearing her throat. Their eyes locked for a moment, but before the intensity could linger, Y/N was the first to break the contact.

"U-uh, I'll just pack my things," she mumbled, trying to ease the sudden tension.

"Y-yeah, you should," Paige replied awkwardly, her own discomfort evident in her voice.

---------

Unbelievable, Y/N let out an exasperated sigh as her car refused to start. Of all the days and weather conditions, why did it have to happen now? How was she supposed to get home in this rain?

"This is ridiculous," she muttered, leaning her head against the steering wheel. The parking lot seemed endless, and she knew she'd be soaked by the time she reached the bus stop for her commute home.

She opened her phone, fingers tapping out a message in their group chat, hoping someone was still around in their class or lingering in the parking lot who could give her a ride home.

Upon sending the message, Paige was quick to reply, mentioning she had just gotten into her car and would swing by to pick Y/N up.

It was the third time Paige had come to her rescue, and it seemed like she always appeared at just the right moment.

Paige's Camry pulled up alongside Y/N's car, and she swiftly gathered her belongings before stepping out and securing her vehicle. She dashed toward Paige's car, a brisk pace driven by both the biting cold and her aversion to getting wet.

"Thanks, Bueckers," she muttered gratefully as she settled into the passenger seat, closing the door behind her.

"Anytime, Miller. What would you do without me?" Paige quipped, exuding confidence and earning an eye roll from Y/N.

As they merged into traffic, Waka Flocka's music blared from Paige's stereo.

"I need to swing by Walmart first; I'm running low on groceries. Hope you don't mind," Paige added, breaking the rhythm of the music-filled silence.

Y/N nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I can grab some for myself as well."

The rain had somehow mellowed by the time they arrived at Walmart. The two of them dashed into the store, snagging a cart and launching into their grocery run.

Paige peered into Y/N's meticulously organized cart, filled with salad ingredients and chicken, devoid of any junk food.

"How are you even full just eating that?" Paige teased, gesturing towards Y/N's cart.

Y/N glanced over at Paige's cart, which seemed more like a haul than a grocery run, stocked with proteins, organic chips, and various meats. It was clear Paige was focused solely on food items.

"Duh. Do I look like I have time to cook?" Y/n retorted with a smirk, her tone dripping with sarcasm.

Paige raised both hands in surrender. "Alright. For an athlete, you sure eat less."

Y/N, who had been chubby back in grade school due to her big bones, had made a conscious effort to monitor her weight when she got into basketball.

"I've got big bones. Plus, I was fat back in grade school. I easily gain weight, so I have to watch what I eat," Y/N explained.

Paige's curiosity piqued at the mention of Y/N's childhood appearance, but she merely mouthed an 'oh,' holding back her questions for the moment.

When they finished their grocery shopping, the two of them struggled on their way back to the parking lot, battling against the persistent rain. They did their best to shield the bags from getting wet, navigating through the downpour with determination.

Besides her earlier dilemma about Cameron's text, she finds herself faced with a new one. First, she struggles with the task of carrying the grocery bags up to her apartment alone, as she already has her gym bag filled with basketball gear. Second, she hesitates to ask Paige for help, knowing how much Paige has already done for her today. She waits until they arrive at her apartment before finally mustering the courage to speak up.

"Um, Paige, there's one more thing. I really need your help carrying these groceries," she stammers, nodding towards the backseat where the bags are piled.

"No problem at all, Miller. I've got you," Paige responds with a thumbs up and a playful wink.

"Thanks. I owe you big time for all your help today."

Y/N couldn't help but roll her eyes every time Paige proudly exclaimed, "What would you do without me?"

In the elevator, she nudged Paige to keep her quiet as Paige continued to prattle on about her indispensable role in Y/N's life.

A sense of panic washed over Y/N when she noticed her door was unlocked. Only she and her dad knew the passcode.

Upon entering her apartment, she was greeted by Cameron sitting comfortably in her living room.

"Hi," Cameron greeted awkwardly.

"Who let you in?" Y/N asked, attempting to hide her annoyance, though it came out with a grit.

"I, uh... asked your dad," Cameron replied nervously.

Y/N felt her jaw clench.

"You can—"

"The heck, bro, why are you standing there like a post or something?" Paige barged in, not noticing Cameron at first, as she followed behind Y/N.

"Sorry about that. Hey, let's drop off these groceries and grab some lunch at your place, yeah?" Y/N suggested.

Paige gave Y/N a confused look, not catching on until she noticed Cameron. Y/N glared at her, silently conveying a "play along or else" message.

Paige, on the other hand, finds herself uncertain of what to do. She holds Y/N's groceries, her gaze shifting between Y/N and Cameron, feeling like an inadvertent intruder.

"U-uh, w-well, yeah, sure," she awkwardly responds, inching towards the kitchen to set down the groceries. The palpable tension between Y/N and Cameron doesn't escape her notice.

"H-hi, Cameron," she offers as she passes by, to which Cameron responds with a polite smile. "Sorry, I must have interrupted your plans today," Cameron apologizes.

"It's fine. No problem. I'll just… yeah, groceries," Paige gestures towards the kitchen, trying to diffuse the awkwardness.

She retreats to the kitchen, giving the two space to talk.

"I'm sorry for coming here with short notice. I thought you read my texts," Cameron explains.

"I am busy. I don't have time to be on my phone all day," Y/N replies tersely.

Paige wonders how she ended up in this situation, feeling more like the one interrupting rather than Cameron.

"W-well, I am staying at a hotel. Let me know when you are free," Cameron offers tentatively.

"I have no free time. I have an upcoming match, so feel free to go back to California anytime," Y/N says casually.

"Y/N…" Cameron trails off, at a loss for words. With a sigh, she continues, "Alright, let me know when you are ready to talk to me. I'll be leaving."

Cameron gathers her things and departs. What the heck just happened?

Paige returns to the living room to find Y/N standing there, visibly distressed after Cameron's departure.

"Well… what the hell just happened?" Paige asks, trying to make sense of the tension.

Y/N sighs heavily. "Long story. I really don't have the energy to deal with her," she says, shaking her head in frustration.

"Do you still want to go grab lunch?" Paige offers, hoping to lighten the mood.

Y/N's head shoots up, her eyes lighting up at the mention of food.

"I think so. I am hungry," she admits, a small smile forming on her lips.

"Well, don't expect salad. I won't feed you that kind of crap," Paige quips, injecting a bit of humor into the conversation. ---------

They found themselves in a brief argument over whether to cook or dine out, but in the end, Paige's preference for eating out won.

Paige wasn't joking when she said she wouldn't subject Y/N to just salad. She orders some chicken wings for her, reasoning that it's just for one day, and Y/N can return to her original diet afterward.

"Well, we're fucked," Paige muttered, her ears growing warmer and eyes a mix of amusement and concern.

Y/N's brows creased, curious about Paige's comment. Her annoyance grew as her phone buzzed again. Opening it, she was bombarded with Instagram and TikTok notifications, causing color to drain from her face in realization.

"What the hell? They took this angle wrong in all ways. Do we look like we're kissing?" Y/N exclaimed, her voice unintentionally carrying across the restaurant. The heads of other diners turned towards their table, causing Y/N to bow her head slightly in embarrassment.

Paige, now red-faced, looked away, feeling the weight of the situation.

"Who the hell even took this clip?" Y/N continued, her annoyance evident.

It became clear that the video was taken earlier when Y/N's contact lens fell out, and Paige was helping her. The angle made it appear as if they were kissing, with Paige's back and her hands on Y/N's face.

"That's kind of awkward. It really does look like a compromising angle," Paige added, trying to diffuse the tension.

Y/N shook her head in disbelief. "I didn't know there's actually malice in helping people now."

"Let them think what they want to think. It's not like it's any of their business," Paige declared, trying to brush off the situation with a nonchalant attitude. When in truth, her heart is almost thumping out of her chest.

"Alright, for the sake of my peace of mind," Y/N said with a resigned sigh.

Just then, one of Y/N's block mates, Miller, spotted them from across the restaurant. "Yo, Miller. What are you two doing here? Are you like having some lover's quarrel?" he called out, his tone teasing.

Annoyed, Y/N grabbed Paige's arm and hastily fled from the scene, wanting to escape the embarrassment.

Paige couldn't help but overhear what Y/N's blockmate said. "Holy shit, it wasn't a no. They were really dating," he exclaimed to his friends.

Paige's heart sank as the reality of the situation sank in. "Now we're really doomed," she muttered under her breath, realizing the potential fallout from the misunderstanding.

#azzi fudd #kk arnold #paige buckets #paige bueckers #uconn huskies #uconn wbb #aaliyah edwards #ncaa women’s basketball #paige bueckers x reader #nika muhl #aubrey griffin #cameron brink #stanford cardinal

[brucewaynehater101]

I know you're mostly an angst person, but in the Parentified!Tim au, I couldn't stop imagining Tim doing his utmost best to keep Bruce's faith in Santa Claus when he and his team watched Santa die.

Like.

Bruce: Hm. Santa must be busy this year.

Tim, who's failing at Santa-ing and being scolded by 10,000 unpaid elves who's also complaining about their poor dental insurance: Don't worry, chum. I'm sure he'll pass by tonight. Now, why don't we leave the cookies near the fireplace and tuck you in? I heard from the grapevine that he also prefers C4 energy drink rather than milk.

Bruce: *narrows his eyes*

Tim: *sweats in lactose intolerance* Or milk!

Bruce: *Hums in approval and leaves the milk and cookies*

Tim: Man. Alfred, this is bullshi--

Santa, who's very much alive: *happily munching on Alfred's award-winning cookies plus the ones from the kitchen* *gulps the milk down* *wipes mouth messily*

Santa: No one will fucking believe you

Santa: *fucking poofs out of existence*

Tim: Motherfucker.

Alfred: Master Tim! Where have all my cookies gone?!

Tim: *points at presents under the tree* Maybe Santa ate it!

Alfred: I am too old to fall for that trick. Please tell Master Allen and Master Kent to simply ask to be invited in next time instead of sneaking in.

Tim: But- They-

Alfred: No 'Buts' Master Tim! Although I am glad they did not leave footprints this time, I would be happier if they didn't eat all the food that is prepared for tomorrow.

Alfred: *fucking walks out, winks at Santa who is laughing by the stairs, and heads to bed*

The next day

Tim: *rants vaguely to Bruce about last night*

Bruce: *nods* I saw Alfred kissing Santa once.

Tim: I don't know how to respond to that.

I love this concept so much. Bruce believes in Santa because he most definitely gathered evidence after some kid at school told him otherwise.

Tim, who killed Santa, doesn't want to break the news to Bruce. He knows that a baby Bruce did an investigation, and it's a part of his childhood that Bruce still holds onto. So, Tim does everything he can to hold onto the fabrication that Santa is alive (even if that means managing thousands of elves, forcing all of YJ to do it with him, and finding a way to choke down thousands of cookies and cups of milk). Tim just wants some C4 (which I found hilarious cause I switched over to that brand a few months back) and a break from trying to keep the spirit of Christmas alive in a middle-aged man.

Then Santa's not actually dead. He probably kept the story being dead just to retire and not deal with the elves.

Alfred found out about Tim acting as Santa with his friends probably because he called up Santa Clause to complain about the footprints and mess left behind in his usually impeccable work.

I wonder if Mrs. Clause exists in the DC universe, or if Santa Clause spends a significant time on Christmas kissing people's parents (or maybe Alfred is just special).

#dc comics #dc universe #tim drake #santa dc #alfred pennyworth #bruce wayne #dc au #thank you for the ask!!!! #it made me chuckle and i appreciate it #santa agrees that alfred is a gilf

[heart-of-the-morningstar]

Corruption fic - First Preview

It’s me, ya girl, comin’ at ya with a little preview! No active warnings for this one ☺️

"That's it, I'm cuttin' you off for tonight," Husk said sternly, whisking away your unfinished glass of whiskey. You'd been at the bar for only an hour and you've already downed 5 full glasses.

"Noooo, Husk c'mon...I'm fffffiiiinnee," you babbled, trying to push your head from the countertop unsuccessfully.

It's been a few months since you arrived in Hell after an unfortunate accident that ended in your early demise. But being a devout believer, you were so sure that Heaven would be your final destination. How wrong you were. You woke up in the fiery pit confused and scared, your body had transformed into that of a demon; you had become something you had feared for your entire life. When you first heard about the Hazbin Hotel, you nearly jumped at the opportunity for redemption. If there was even the slightest hope of getting out of here, you were going to take it. But your situation was more than troublesome, considering how you led your life up on Earth. So most nights, you could easily be found sitting on a bar stool, trying desperately to drown your sorrows and distract yourself from the reality you'd found yourself in.

What's worse...not everyone here is evil. It was ingrained into you that everyone down here in Hell deserved to be, they had earned this punishment. But getting to know some of the other residents at the hotel, that couldn't have been further from the truth! Was everything you were taught just complete lie?! For Heaven's sake, Charlie, the literal princess of Hell, was the sweetest and kindest being you've ever had the pleasure of meeting! And Vaggie, a former angel, so devout to Charlie and her dream, you've never seen two people more in love. Angel, although a bit eccentric and over the top, cared deeply for his friends and was ready to fight for them at a moment's notice. It was all...not what you expected, and you had a very difficult time coping with everything that you had been thrust into.

"You're shit faced," Husk snapped back. "Look, I know you're havin' a hard time with all this. But drinking away your issues ain't gonna solve any of 'em. You need to sleep this off." He watched you stumble off the bar stool, your one foot catching the other, resulting in a rather pitiful fall onto the carpet. But you couldn't feel anything, the alcohol helped mask the pain you were sure to feel tomorrow. You couldn't help but giggle at your own clumsiness. "Oh, for fuck's sake..." Husk grumbled.

Before you could even attempt to pull yourself off the ground, you saw a pair of black boots approaching you in a rather hurried manner.

"Woah!" the voice exclaimed, "Are you alright? Here, let me help you!" In no time, your limp body went from lying on the lobby floor to being hoisted up and helped back onto the bar stool you fell from. You turned your head to see Lucifer's concerned face staring back at you. "Husk, what happened?"

"She's drunk," the cat demon explained, "I told her she was done drinkin' for the night and she ate shit trying to stand up. I was about to help her back to her room-"

All of a sudden, a shadowy presence started to form behind the bar. A static filled laugh was heard before Alastor had popped up, startling the bar tender. "Husker, my good man!," the radio demon bellowed, "it seems as though I am in need of your assistance."

"Fuck! Why can't you just walk in here like a normal fucking person?" Husk grumbled.

Alastor only responded with a light chuckle before fixing his attention on you. "My, my, what have we here?" Alastor taunted. You could have sworn you heard a low growl coming from Lucifer beside you. "I say, my dear, I've never seen you look worse than you do now. What a pity, all of those teachings really didn't help you in the long run, now did they?"

You felt tears threatening to fall from your eyes at Alastor's cruel words. If you were sober, you would have run the other direction as fast as you could. Alastor had been the other real soul you met who you knew with every fiber of your being belonged in this pit. But considering you had no inhibitions and clearly no chance of getting away, you picked your head up and slammed your fists on the table in righteous anger.

"Ohhh, eat shit youuuu *hic* smiling prick!" You tried to stand up once more, only for your legs to buckle underneath you. Luckily, Lucifer had caught you before your face had met with the carpet again. "I-I don't deserve this! 'Least I'm TRYING to redeem m'self!"

Alastor's malicious grin never faltered. "Oh, and what a fabulous job you're doing! I do wonder how a woman such as yourself has fallen so far from grace."

"Fuck off, radio freak," Lucifer snarled, barring his teeth and his eyes shifting to a deep crimson red and yellow.

“Oh, ho ho! Seems as though I’ve struck a nerve,” Alastor mocked. He made his way around the bar, now towering over you and the fallen angel. “Tell me, your highness, what is your fascination with this lost soul, hmm? I’m so utterly curious as to why you would give her the time of day when all she does is wallow in her self pity and-”

“I. SAID. FUCK. OFF.” the king spat, his eyes now changing into a solid red and his voice deepening to match his threat. Though your vision was hazy, you noticed his horns had bursted out from his temples. Whether it was the alcohol or something else entirely, your face suddenly felt very, very hot. “Don’t make me repeat myself again.”

Despite the immense danger, Alastor could only muster a sly grin. “It’s very rude to ignore my question.”

“I don’t have to do anything for you! Or have you forgotten who you’re talking to?” The way Lucifer spoke sent a shiver down your spine. “The only reason that you’re not a mangled corpse on the ground right now is because of my daughter. So if you want to stay in one piece, I’d walk away right now if I were you…”

The two mens’ faces were just inches away from each other now. Alastor’s eye twitched as he glared back at Lucifer with pure distain. His eyes shifted to you only for a brief moment before standing up straight and smirking to himself.

“I suppose it really is no business of mine as to how you choose to mingle with the guests here,” the radio demon resolved. He turned around to walk away, but not before glancing at you once more over his shoulder. “They’re lost causes anyway. Come along, Husker!”

Lucifer’s demonic traits disappeared as Alastor finally left the parlor. “I hate that man.” He looked at Husk empathetically. “If I could break your arrangement with him, I would. I’m sorry. But don’t worry, I’ll take care of her.” With that, Husk nodded and followed the radio demon down the hall, leaving you and Lucifer alone at the now empty bar.

#hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar #lucifer smut #lucifer x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel smut #preview #my writing #hazbin lucifer #hazbin hotel lucifer #everyone say hi to Alastor! He’s a bastard! Lol

[blankwashed]

18+ ADULT CONTENT AHEAD YOU ARE WARNED

Toji and you went out shopping, not for something extraordinary but something basic. Toji, unfortunately, was the reason why the family is broke again. He had squandered all his money on the recent horse race, despite your warnings about his gambling addiction.

Even though you were working, your monthly salary was barely enough to sustain both of you and his son, Megumi, from his previous marriage.

"Daddy! I-I want this! Please buy it for me, pleaaase!" Megumi pleaded, envious of his friends who were getting the newest and latest gadgets. "I get laughed at whenever I take out my Samsung Galaxy S4..." he confessed, tears welling up in his eyes. You hated to see your stepson ridiculed by his friends, but with Toji's reckless gambling habits, you often found yourself in a tough spot.

"BABY! We hit the jackpot today! I won 320,000 yen! I'm aiming to get 500,000 yen on the next race, trust me!" Toji exclaimed excitedly, only to waste all the money on another failed bet.

"Are you sure this will work?" you raised an eyebrow at Toji. He claimed that OnlyFans or selling videos of the both of you having sex would make you guys rich in an instant.

Toji just finished setting up the webcam on the laptop that both of you have bought with the money you were saving for rainy days.

"I'm hot, you're hot. Why wouldn't it work?" he has no other options other than to sell his body online- and yours as well. You bit your lip, regretting about agreeing with his idea. It all sounded easy to you at first, just have sex with a camera pointed at the both of you but now that you think about it. What if Megumi or any of his friends find it? Wouldn't that ruin his life? Who would take the both of you guys seriously anymore?

Toji said that you guys would not need to pay for certain things as well, saying that brands would be willing to sponsor the both of you for wearing or using their clothing or equipment in the videos. At that time, Megumi was on a school trip which leaves the both of you alone at home.

You were awkward, of course and Toji knew that. He snaked his muscular arm around your waist, bringing you closer to him. It’s been a long time since the both of you had time for yourselves, dealing with Megumi and well, money problems.

As you were unaware, Toji already was recording on the camera but he still acted as if he wasn’t. Without your knowledge, he’s getting your raw reactions to his touches.

“Hmm, mama…” he murmured into your ear sensually with his hand slithering through your shirt’s buttons, plucking each of them off. If you weren’t wet before, you were wet in an instant then. He’s your weakness and knows how to get you crawling onto him.

You were very verbal, moaning and sliding off your skirt and panties making things easier for Toji. His lips were already on your left nipple, sucking and lapping like an animal. The noises that he made while abusing your nipples could already bring you to an overdrive, not to mention the sounds coming out from your own throat.

“Toj-Daddy…have you pressed record yet?” you asked him breathlessly. Honestly at this point you didn’t really care because you married a sex Adonis. Toji shook his head, lying to you because he knows that you would be self-conscious if the camera was on.

“Princess, let’s just have some off-camera fun for now hmm? So that when we shoot everything will just come natural?”

He was so believable.

The way your fingers curled around his biceps, gripping them firmly as if they were the only anchor in a stormy sea. His hands explored your body freely, as if it was your honeymoon night when it was the first time you saw each other’s bodies.

Who am I kidding? Toji wouldn’t wait for marriage.

It was an intense make out session, with moans of “never gonna get bored of this” and “just fuck me already”. Toji and you were breathless with your hearts pounding with desire. Communicating with bodily actions would be ideal for someone like Toji.

His big hands groped big fleshy parts of you, moulding them in his hands making you moan in pleasure. You didn’t like it when it was soft after experiencing how pleasurable it was to be manhandled.

“Lil’ mama, take me in. Show me how much you love my cock,” he slaps his big fat cock against your cheeks, making you lose your balance despite already kneeling. You weren’t able to say anything. Opening your mouth slowly easing him in, he thought of something else he wanted to do to you.

As his hands freely roamed across your body, pinching and slapping them earning moans from you. Toji eagerly slid his fingers down your abdomen and started to trace small circles around your wet dripping hole. He searched for your sensitive weak spot. After finding it, he teased you, circling and flicking with his thick fingers. Your wetness was already making everything easier for him.

Toji was quick. Before long, you realised you were in a 69 position with him. You could feel him smirking on your pussy, teasing and licking with his fat tongue. His spare hands would trail up your leg, opening your core up for him. It wasn’t easy for you to keep quiet at this point while he was circling your bud with his skilful tongue before finally plunging it deep inside.

“AH! DADDY!” you screamed, accidentally letting his cock out of your mouth. He growled, not pleased by not being in your mouth. With a jerk his cock opened your mouth again.

“My cock will be buried here until I say I so. You want to be punished, bitch?” He grabbed a handful of hair from your head, tugging it, making you squirm.

With your tongue swirling around the head in a tantalising manner while massaging his balls Toji let out a long, deep moan.

“Slowly, bitch…that’s it baby,” he murmured hoarsely. “Don’t fuck with me, you bitch. I’ll punish you for that later,” he threatened you, grasping the back if your head tightly.

“Take all of me, you fucking slut. You like being treated like this, don’t you?” he bucked his hips more towards you, hands wrapped around your throat.

Groaning loudly, Toji pushed once again, driving himself deeper into your poor throat as he reached his climax. With each movement of your head, he lost control of himself. It was all raw and primal. His sheer strength overpowering your body into a puddle.

With his hands tied up in your hair, he releases himself. Hot white streaks of excessive cum painted your face. A glare from Toji made you lick up every excessive drop.

“Daddy…how are we going to shoot now? I think I drank up all your cum…” you innocently said while wiping your face clean, not noticing Toji smirking while checking out the footage that he recorded.

The both of you would be swimming in money soon.

#toji smut #toji fushiguro #daddy toji #toji zenin #jjk smut #fics

[fandomfucker]

I loveeee the singer and rhea headcanons you write could you do one where the reader is an actress? Maybe they meet through the reader getting cast in a movie that involves around wwe so she spends time going to matches and backstage

YES

Also, the years are different because that's how i want it and I said so🤷‍♀️

You'd have starred in that movie Fighting With My Family (just a different year though)

Since a big part of Saraya's story was Wrestlemania, you were invited to that years Wrestlemania, just a month or two before you started filming

The one you were invited to was Wrestlemania 39 and you were able to go to not only day 1, but also day 2 and got backstage VIP treatment

You got to meet a bunch (if not all) the wrestlers and had a heart-to-heart with Triple H

Rhea saw you first

She was nervous and jumping around shaking out her hands when she saw you walk down the hallway past her open door

Her heart stopped as did her nervous bounces

She kinda just automatically walked out of her room and watched you walk down the hallway until she couldn't see you anymore

She turned around and caught Dominik laughing at her

He told her who you were and told her to go for it

She didn't have the confidence until a little after winning her match against Charlotte

"Oh my god! Congratulations on your win! I'm Y/n Y/l/n, its so cool to finally meet you. You, uh, you looked really good out there."

"Yeah, you too. Thanks, uh-would you maybe, wanna, like, I dont know, get a drink or something after the show? You dont have to if you dont want to but-"

"I'd love too! And...maybe you could teach me a thing or two about wrestling?"

"Yeah, for sure"

You'd never seen her so nervous and it remained that way until she wound up proposing

But she just thought you were so fucking hot

Little did she know, you were just as affected as she was. you're just better at hiding it

soon as you walked away from yalls first meeting you were blushing and stuttering so bad someone asked if they needed to get you medical help

You were able to watch the matches from the guerilla and get a feel for the environment; the stakes, the people, the emotions, everything so that you'd be able to replicate it for the movie

You studied peoples moves, not only how they moved individually but together

Letting each other know what they were going to do, setting up, taking the bump, everything

You watched Rhea the closest though

It was just because she and Saraya seemed to have a lot in common in the way their characters looked is what you told yourself. Totally not cause she was absolutely gorgeously lethal in the ring

She helped you spare alongside the people actually hired to teach you for the movie. The wrestling with Rhea was more effective because that was her expertise

You definitely learned a lot but you only ever won when she let you

But with her looking the way she does when she riptides you, losing really doesn't sting too bad

You officially start dating around the time the movie comes out later that year, she was your date to the premiere and you guys wore matching outfits and it was perfect

Once you moved on to other projects, Rhea found solace in watching some of your previous stuff she hadn't seen before but found that she could NOT stand watching you scream or cry or be covered in blood (and god forbid a combination of the three)

You woke up once at 2 am to a call from her, checking to make sure you were ok and to hear your voice after she watched a show where your character was tortured nearly to death

She doesn't watch any of your horror/sci-fi stuff anymore

Shes always your premiere date though unless she absolutely has to work in which case you just go alone, but together you always match

She does love the stuff your in where youre not being harmed though and she'll watch them over and over again

She has at least one poster from everyone of your projects up somewhere in her house

Plus an abundance of your merch

Like way too much for any normal person

Kinda gives off Tom Holland and Zendaya vibes, but you each think that you're Tom and your girlfriend is Zendaya (if that makes sense)

Rhea about has a stroke when she find out you guest starred in an episode of Supernatural when you were younger

The Fighting With My Family movie is Rhea's favorite though and harbors the most merch since thats how yall met

You've gone to a ton of PPEs and RAWs since you started dating and fans freak out every time

#rhea ripley #the judgement day #rhea ripley x reader #the judgment day #wwe #wwe raw #tjd x reader #the judgement day x reader #the judgment day wwe #the judgment day x reader #wwe x reader #rhea ripley headcanons

[projectbluearcadia]

[P2] My Love, I Am Drinking PLeNTy of WAteR

NSFW Lucifer x F!MC Spice Rating - 4/4 HOLY F*CK THAT'S HOT

[ Part 1 ] [ Part 2 ]

I fully support Luci having a praise kink, full stop. :) @ourfinalisation the food is ready muahaha.

Wordcount: 2470

smutty notes (consult if you haven’t read my smut before.)

“It’s so hot in here,” he complains, still picking at his buttons and undoing them all out of order. It would help if you didn’t keep your fireplace lit all the time, you think as you help him take his vest off. “Mmm… aren’tchu hot too?” 

---

“...yes,” you reply honestly after a moment, almost unconsciously helping him out of his shirt to leave his chest exposed. 

“Then… let’s cuddle naked!” 

Oh good lord… you think, not quite sure how to respond to the innocent way he said that. Neither of you kept your hands off each other when the clothes were gone. But then you’d be taking advantage of a drunk. Though the only reason Lucifer would be upset about you doing that to him is that he wouldn't remember the experience. 

Of course, Lucifer’s jumping full-steam ahead as he takes your shirt off and presses his face into your belly as he hugs your lower abdomen.

“C’mere, MC… stop just standing there holding my mug like a pretty mannequin… Let me love you!” He pulls, and you half-stumble your way to half-sitting on him. He takes the mug from your fingers, sliding it open and taking a drink before he grimaces at you. “That is the most watery coffee I have ever tasted,” he says in the most grave tone of voice that you can’t help yourself from bursting out laughing. “You should be ashamed of yourself, MC; why are you laughing?” 

“You’re already wasted, Lucifer; I’m not giving you caffeine too,” you reply after you recover, belatedly realizing that his hands are shimmying your pants off you. He started this, you think before you unzip him, and, amused, watch him try to take his trousers off with you sitting on one of his thighs. 

“You’re mean,” he says as you laugh again. “You know I’m all…” He makes a vague gesture, and you smile as you obligingly help him undress the rest of the way. You worry your lip lightly as your eyes carelessly absorb him for a moment, half-fantasizing about absolutely wrecking him so that he wakes up embarrassed without even remembering why. No, MC, only if he pushes it. Still… naked cuddles. On his bed. Where we’ve had sex several times.

You don’t even get to the cuddling part because Lucifer had already pulled you on top of him, kissing you. You have the sudden and distinct suspicion that the conniving little shit had been actually planning to make love to you since the moment he came home. Yeah… come to think of it, the way he looked at you at the door was pretty close to his “I want to fuck you so bad right now” face. 

“MC… I wish you were always here,” he mumbles before he kisses up and down your neck. “Every time I think of you, I want to hug you, and then I get hard thinking about you, and then I feel bad when you’re not even there…” 

“I can’t be in here perpetually,” you joke, though he obviously takes it seriously. 

“You could if I tied you down,” he grumbles, nibbling on your collar. “Then I could do anything I want whenever I want.” He pauses before he groans and butts his head softly against your chest. “I’m sorry that I fantasize about that. I’m not an asshole that would use you and do bad things to you and, I just… want more of you…” You pet his head sympathetically, surprised by his consideration. 

“I fantasize about slightly concerning things too, Lucifer.” Some things I wish I had the ovaries to ask you to try with me. “So don’t worry about it. We’ll talk about it if it’s a problem.” 

“You're so sweet… what’d I do to deserve you???” Lucifer squeezes you tight to him. “Can I thank you? Can I eat you out?” You decide to throw away how startled you are by the sudden offer. Oral from you? The person who rarely does it unless I (sexually) beg for it? You think I’d say no? 

Saying “yes” would quickly become a regret. But all in good time. 

As it turns out, Lucifer’s drunken stupor meant he was a lot more into making noise during sex, and that included while he was busy thrusting his tongue inside you. Not to mention when he was busy licking the hell out of your clit like it had something sweet and sticky on it. And there he was, flushed and naked between your legs, eagerly taking what seemed like mouthfuls of your slick and heartily groaning like it was his first meal in five years. 

You thought he wasn’t lucid enough to pleasure you with his fingers, which was why it was taking you a little bit of time to cum. Oh, how wrong you are. No, this fucker is playing with you. 

Which is why you’re so surprised when he starts giving both your clitoris and your eager pussy attention, nibbling and sucking and rubbing. Your orgasm at that point is very forthcoming. 

As is the one directly following it. 

“Lucifer,” you gasp, squeezing his hair in your hands. 

“Mmm… I’m not finished drinking my water~” the little shit teases into you, and you’re quickly learning that his desire to see you overstimulated is even more pronounced than usual. 

Which is why it was a mistake. Because you’re now on your fourth orgasm, and he didn’t seem like he was going to stop until he had destroyed your sanity. 

“Lucifer… please… can’t,” you try between gasps, and he kisses your thigh. 

“Just a little more? You’re so good for me; just let me do everything, okay? Just a little more… want you to like it.” He gives you another lick that practically sends stars to your eyes, looking up at you as you try in vain to squeeze your thighs closed. 

“Bad…Lucifer,” you mewl as he keeps giving your clit attention, his long fingers still nursing your ever-tightening insides. He stops, right as you were reaching another peak.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, not seeming to realize the fact that he’s edging you. “I wante’to see your face when your brain has nothing in it but me…” Didn’t you get that out of me the first time!?!?

“Lucifer, I’m already thinking just about you, so please let me finish…” 

“No, not that, I want to see your fucked out face. The way you drool and cry and stop being able to form a sentence.” Fucking hell, he’s remembering that? Now? “But I can’t?” Lucifer makes a face like a kicked puppy, making an x with two fingers, one of which was struggling to separate from a wet membrane attached to the other finger. 

“Goddammit, do whatever you want, just please!” You groan, covering your eyes and feeling your cheeks warm. You can practically feel him brighten as he dives back between your folds. Not long afterwards, your most intense orgasm makes you scream his name while you grip his hair frantically like you’re trying to shove him even closer than he already is. 

Calming down is almost an ordeal as he licks at your convulsing, needy hole that was currently spilling your release like it was water. 

“I think this is better than demonus,” he mumbles, probably to himself, but your ears catch it just fine. You really can’t tell whether he’s referring to your pleasure or messily drinking in your natural lubrication. Is this what he fantasized about without telling you? Getting on his knees and tongue-fucking you so hard that your entire body was left buzzing afterwards? “MC?”

“Wh… What?” you gasp, faintly realizing he’s finally risen from his position on the floor, his lips and the tip of his nose still shining. 

“Love you,” he says sweetly, kissing your lower stomach and almost making you convulse in the process. Especially because the rosy head of his cock is very much visible from between your knees. “Did you like my thank-you? You did, right? I was good, right?” He looks up at you like he wants to be petted, and you just can’t help yourself from fluffing his hair. He leans into your touch, letting out a satisfied, deep hum. You internally promised to tease him later for this. As payback. 

“Yes… you were good.” It seems like your praise just makes his cock stand up even taller, and you feel your insides twitch in response. You have your doubts that he can stay concentrated enough to keep it up, but God, you’re wishing he would. “I never knew you liked it this much whenever I praise you,” you tease him. 

“...maybe I have a kink for it.” Lucifer slurs. “Izzat a bad thing? Can I be a top with a praise kink?” 

“Of course, silly.” You ruffle his hair some more, just messing it up even further. There is certainly a quiet yet powerful satisfaction in knowing you’re the only one allowed to see him like this. To do this to him. “Everyone likes being praised for doing something well. Even you.”

Lucifer giggles a little and says, “How come you’re so wise when you’re less than a hundredth of my age?” 

You have to bite your tongue to avoid calling him an old man and killing his happy mood. He’s already insecure about that no matter how many times you told him that you didn’t care because he (and his brothers) never acted like, thought like, or looked like his age.

“You’re drunk, one, and two, you restrict yourself too much for the sake of your pride, so you don’t use that wonderful brain of yours.” 

“Mmm…” Lucifer kisses you, and for a moment you cringe at the taste of yourself before you get used to it. In another moment, your body is pressing harder into his lavishly soft bed as Lucifer’s hovers over you. “Fucking hell, I love you so much,” he mumbles before he dives back to your lips, the wet sounds of his kisses echoing through your ears. “Want you… Want to put it in… mn… what position do you want? Missionary? Please say missionary.” You must say, Lucifer’s flushed, hopeful expression is a sight to behold as he eagerly waits for your response. 

“Missionary is fine,” you reply with a soft grin as you rubbed his cheek. He pushes into your touch, closing his eyes and savouring it. “Come here.” 

“Cum where?” he asks, blinking at you with a dusting of pink on his ears. “I-I mean, it’s not a problem, I um… I would like that a lot actually…” Lucifer’s blush turns darker. “Wait… shit.” Lucifer buries his hot face in your chest. “...sorry.” 

“What are you apologizing for? That’s a normal mistake in this setting.” 

“No, I’m apologizing for the image that popped into my head.” 

“You don’t have to be shy; you can tell—” 

“MC, please, let this one just… stay in my head. It’s really bad.” 

“...I won’t press you right now because you’re making me impatient, but I’m going to find out later what kind of dirty shit is going through your m—Aghnnn!” 

Lucifer groans into your neck, softly panting as he shoves his last inch into you. He throbs against your walls, and you cling to his sweating back, softly digging your nails in from his size. 

“Don’t ask…” he mumbles, drawing himself out as he traces over your nipples, the pads of his fingers circling the hardening nubs. He snaps his hips forward again, leaving you gasping as stars flicker brightly in your eyes. “But… it made me really excited, so…” 

“Ughn ah…! Ahh!” you moan out, your voice abruptly starting to fail as Lucifer grips a tight hold of your hips and starts slamming himself into you over and over again. Your overstimulated clitoris seems to thrum with static, and it thrums harder when Lucifer presses close to messily kiss your neck. 

“Gh… Every time…” he groans, his voice strained. “Your pussy always sucks me in so hard… Hghn. it makes me feel like… I’ll lose it right away.” And as if he wants to prove himself wrong, he starts going at you faster, leaving you gasping and crying at the ceiling, speechless as you actively claw at his back.

Your clit, alongside the place deep inside you that loves Lucifer's thrusts, are receiving such great stimulation that you can barely say anything. All that comes from you are your incoherent whines and raspy croaks alongside the creaks of the bed and the lewd slurps of your soaking wet hole taking Lucifer in over and over again. 

And then, all movement ceases, leaving you looking up dumbly at his concerned face.

“MC? Are you okay?” he murmurs. “Am I hurting you?” God bless this sensitive dingbat, but fucking hell, why does he always stop at the worst damn time? 

“Hghhn… n…no,” you manage to moan out, your vision flickering with how tight your lower abdomen is. You just barely manage to urge him closer, squeezing him with your legs before he throws your ankles over his shoulders, his hands squeezing your thighs as he climbs back up to his earlier pace.

“MC,” Lucifer gasps, dropping his head down to yours, digging his neatly trimmed nails into you as he falters. “MC.” He kisses you again as your nails score scratches into his back that, if anything, just egg him on. “MC, going to… together… please…”

“Yes,” you cry out. “Lucifer…!” With your vision dyed a startlingly brilliant white, your body floating somewhere in the sky, attached only to the electrifying feeling of Lucifer’s body against yours, you’re left to soak it in while you try to get your bearings back. 

It’s as you’re calming down that you realize Lucifer is drowsily wrapping his arms around you, squeezing your sweaty bodies together in the center of his bed. He snuggles you, getting himself comfortable as he whispers half-broken sweet nothings in your ear. Just a moment later, and he falls sound asleep, his soft breathing falling on your flushed skin. 

“Well… I guess the shower can wait,” you croak as you nuzzle him, your own drowsiness sweeping over you in the warmth of Lucifer’s embrace. Not a bad reward for looking after his brothers while he’s gone… I can’t wait… to see his sleepy face in the morning…

Bonus:

Lucifer woke up first about six hours later, painfully hungover and not quite remembering why he was still inside you. Almost everything came back to him however when you explained to him what had happened, and he proceeded to apologize several times, his cheeks flaming red behind his hands. 

You later shared a bath together, Lucifer insisting that he should spoil you for behaving in such a “boorish and absolutely unacceptable manner unbefitting of a responsible demon.” He cleaned you up with meticulous care despite the fact that he was nursing a very stubborn case of morning wood.

#lucifer is domestic happiness incarnate #change my mind #drunk lucifer #obey me lucifer #obey me shall we date #fanfiction #obey me! #shameless self indulgence #obey me lucifer smut #lucifer brainrot #lucifer x mc #lucifer smut #lucifer x reader

[derangedanomaly]

Hello and thank you very much! <33

Uhm, I'm not sure if the applications are open, if not, please ignore this!

I wanted to ask for react from the Undertale brothers and Swapfell:

How would they comfort/protect his partner (Fem!Reader) if she is suffering street harassment for having larger female attributes?

I myself am a larger cup myself, and it's a big insecurity because of all the comments about how the clothes I wear are "vulgar" just because my breasts are more noticeable…

So yes, I'm sorry if it's too specific, but I want some consolation :((

No longer doing Papyruses (since I realized that I can't interpret their personalities that well) but Swapfell sans and Undertale sans, that I can do! ^^

MASTERLIST

BERRY AND CLASSIC X READER SUFFERING STREET HARASSMENT (seperate)

Classic:

Classic doesn't really care about how his partner looks like- for him, all that matters is your personality!

But it's not like he DOESN'T notice your appearance, he just doesn't comment on it.. (though he sometimes can't help it but stare 💀)

Now If someone were to HARASS YOU?! *Megalovania starts playing*

He'd give the person a harsh glare, and give very obvious signs that are just screaming "Get the fuck away or I'll whoop your ass"

If the person is particularly rude, or just doesn't get the hint- his eye WILL light up blue. (That's when you KNOW you fucked up)

Classic will probably wait for your reaction, to know if he should do anything. (He will do something about it anyway)

Though I doubt that Classic would do something violating, all he's really doing is just glaring the person down with his blue eye. He'll most likely tell the person to go away or something. (Or he'll just teleport with you)

Once he takes care of the matter, his concern is immediately on you.

He goes up to you, and gently hugs you, asking you if you're ok.

He'd probably try to make you laugh.

Lots of cuddles!!

Berry:

Berry also doesn't have a preference. He just likes you for you 🤷‍♀️

That's not to say he's immune to your looks, he just controls it better than Classic.

And when it comes to HARASSMENT towards you?!

Oh...HELL NO

He'd be probably jumping to violence pretty quickly.

He'd beat the person up if you don't do anything 💀

After he's done dealing with....that problem.. he'd be all over you, concerned for you.

He'd give you anything you want! You want cookies? Ok! Blankets? He's already holding three. Cuddles? That can be arranged.

He wants to make sure this'll never happen to you again, so he'll teach you some good defense mechanisms.

Gives you lots of kisses ❤️

#undertale #undertale fandom #sans undertale #sans x reader #swapfell sans x reader #swapfell sans #utmv #utmv x reader

[ghouljams]

nun moon and preist soap are so special to me also i LOVE the cult leader idea somethin about that man pulling one over on you

Ooh because it's such a nice churched community. It's picturesque, the stone chapel, the rolling hills, the houses that break up the landscape. It's exactly the sort of place you'd want to work, the sort of place you'd want to live, and the priest is young and kind. (He's handsome too, with a smile like an angel, but you're not supposed to notice that) Working here should be easy, enjoyable even. (cw cult stuff, religious themes)

You have a nice little room, meals, quiet company. You see the priest more often than you see anyone else, but again he's kind to you. Terribly light on his feet though. He's walked in on you fixing your habit once or twice, but made no comment on it thank the lord. There are moments... passing remarks that stick out to you, easily brushed off as curiosity(of course), but still. You're younger than most nuns, or at least younger than what most people think of for nuns, and it never escapes anyone's notice. Father Mactavish asks you if you wouldn't rather be settling down with a nice man, and you laugh. You haven't known many nice men.

"How about a bairn then, one or two on your hip would be a sight." He chuckles. Your brows draw together, unsure if the joke is that you're a nun, or that you'd be bad with children. You're in charge of the primary school, the nursery as well, it would be odd to call you inept in this way.

"I'm not sure what you mean father," You respond with a certain measure of flintiness to your voice, your bards bristling at the insinuation. The priest hums, clasps his hands in his lap and smiles.

"Meant no 'arm by it, only that you're so good with the wee ones, it's surprising ya wouldnae want one of your own."

You suppose that makes sense, glancing back at your tea you miss the darkness in his eyes, the way they rake over your body, the way the priest squeezes his cock through his robes. One or two, or five or six, keeping you pregnant like you should be. You'll give your body to the lord but not his servant? Is Soap not the mouthpiece for the divine? Does he not alter hearts and minds? You're in service to him, so get on your fucking knees and serve.

"Maybe in another life," You tell him, "but I'm happy as I am, serving the church."

"That's wonderful," [I will have you over this table, over my knee, for the sin of misusing your body- my body] "if only more people felt the same." Soap hums. Though he supposes there'd be far fewer new members of his congregation if that were the case. As it stands he's managed to convince the town of the importance of family. Even the "nun" you're filling in for is on sabbatical to cover her maternity leave. An overzealous man in town to blame for that one, they really should have been more careful, but watching the man kneel in front of him and beg for permission, seeing the so called nun fall so willingly into his arms. People are animals, sinners wrestling with nothing more than base urges.

And Soap- Soap is leading them to salvation, to paradise. Children are our future, he tells them, children guide us towards goodness. Children are the foundation of any good church, they'll know him as a prophet, and you as his wife. What's a nun that doesn't serve her lord?

"Are you alright father?" You ask. He seems distracted, he's hardly touched his tea, and his eyes are so far away you worry you've lost his company entirely. Father Mactavish blinks, and the stormy sky in his eyes clears back to that brilliant blue. He smiles, and you smile back.

"Of course hen," he draws in a breath, "just writing my sermon for Sunday."

#x oc #cod x oc #cod x reader #x reader #soap mactavish #john soap mactavish #johnny mactavish #john mactavish x reader #soap mactavish x reader #soap mw2 #soap cod #soap x reader #oc: moon #nun!reader #priest!soap #f!reader #tw religious themes

[etherealily]

𝟡 𝕝𝕚𝕧𝕖𝕤 // Nate Jacobs.

Nate Jacobs + Fem!reader. Darker. SFW, but discretion advised.

Part 1 : Whiplash (thanks for the love on there)

You do NOT have permission to repost and/or translate any of my fics.

Desc. : You should be grateful.

════════════════════ ⋆♠️⋆ ════════════════════

He wasn't supposed to text you. He was supposed to take the beating you'd given him for being a prick, like a man, and shut the fuck up about it.

But here you were, midnight, staring at the chat that had started it all.

'yo, u up?'

You rolled your eyes, going back to your scrolling.

'I hate seenzoners.'

You liked his message.

'That's so much worse.'

'The fuck do u want?'

Nate Jacobs sent a voice message.

You could have just ignored it. You could just block him. You could just… stop. But the allure was far too much. The urge of finding out what he wanted was too strong.

"Guess where I am."

He could've just texted that. No need for a voice message, but he was Nate Jacobs.

"I don't know, the psych ward?"

"You wanna know? You'll have to drive and follow my instructions, though. You trust me enough for that?"

Ha. No fucking chance. "No, I'm good, thanks."

"Oh, so you'll text me, but won't see me in person?"

His voice was oddly sultry, as if he'd either just woken up or hadn't slept for days. Most likely the second one.

"Bingo. Go to sleep, Jacobs."

And then he sent you a picture of him from the bleachers of your school's football stadium - how the fuck did he get in?

"C'mon, don't you want to see what our school looks like at night?"

Uh, yes. But with him? No.

"It's 12:05, ASSHOLE. No fucking way."

"This is the scene where you cave and meet me and we have a cute little nighttime school montage where we sit and talk about life."

You listened to that message a good four times before you stopped laughing.

"This is the scene where I block you."

"I will come over if you don't come to the school. Uh, y'know, if you want your parents to think you're fooling around with the QB."

"I will literally shoot you if you come within fifty feet of my house."

"Come. I'll make it worth your while."

Was it possible to hear smirks?

"I'm not coming, Nate."

No way he was actually at the high school. It was probably an insanely good edit.

"You will be."

The FUCK was that supposed to mean? Not like he could force you to show up.

"Wanna bet?"

"Sure. Fifty bucks says you show up to the high school tonight."

"Not blowing fifty bucks on anything, even if I do win."

"What's it going to take for you to come? Look, I-I know it's been weird, and I might've scared you, but that's… that wasn't my intention, I swear."

Yeah, his intention was just to show you what his blood looked like. You liked his message once more, rolling your eyes.

"Dude, seriously, I swear, I'm not like, a serial killer or anything. You can bring pepper spray, a taser, whatever, if it makes you feel better. I'm just- okay, fuck, you're right. Dumb idea, trying to convince you like this."

Wait, okay, good. That was good. He was getting the message.

Another voice message.

"I forgot who I was talking to. You leave me no choice."

"What?" No.

And then, you received a video. He was teetering off the edge of the top-most row of bleachers. With a gun at his head.

"Come on, Y/N, this is getting really sad, that the only way I can grab your attention is by almost killing myself."

"I don't care. Do whatever. Not falling for it this time."

═════════════════════ ⋆♠️⋆ ═══════════════════

"FUCK!", you yelled, as you found yourself running frantically through the school football field for the second time in two weeks.

You'd actually kept your word for a while, pushing out every Nate-related thought for a good night's sleep - you didn't fall for it.

Until McKay called and informed you that Nate wasn't picking up his phone - and that his last message was something along the lines of : 'Call Y/N if you don't hear from me in the next couple of minutes'.

He was deranged. Playing Russian Roulette with his own life was absolutely deranged.

"You actually showed."

GOOD, he was still alive, meaning you could kill him.

You didn't speak. That would simply complicate things, because then you'd have to look at him.

"Plus, you didn't flinch when you saw me. Think that's a win for me in the trust department."

You stood there, glaring at him as he jumped down from the bleachers, even doing that dangerously, as if he was a cat with nine lives, or he was playing a video game and would just respawn.

"You know, you could say something."

He wasn't getting impatient, though, like his tone was trying to portray. No, he was getting more amused. He liked this. He liked the fact that he got you to come to a basically abandoned-for-the-holidays-high school at midnight. He reveled in it.

"Like hey, Nate, thanks for convincing me to actually live a little for a change instead of staying cooped up in my house.", he suggested.

You punched him.

Yeah. You kept running across that field till you were close enough and you punched him right then and there.

You full-on punched him, shoved him back, slapped him, clawed at him. "Stop FUCKING doing this to me! STOP! You can't FUCKING do this to me!", you screamed, hitting him repeatedly on his chest.

He took every beating, and the fact that it seemed he was trying not to laugh just egged you on even more to actually kill him, make his nose bleed, make his head fall clean off his egotistical body.

Eventually, though, it seemed even Nate Jacobs had his limit. He grappled against your hands as he held them between both your chests, clenching his jaw. He wouldn't risk saying anything, seeing as your eyes were already burning with tears.

"You…", you cried out as he shifted his grip on your hands to only one hand, wrapping the other around you. "…Can't keep…"

"Shh, shh, I know.", he muttered as he rested his chin on your head. "Shh, I had to."

"No, you didn't."

He kissed your head, then your forehead, your nose, your cheeks, and stopped for a moment, hovering over your lips but not touching them, as though he was more scared than you were. "You know I did."

You wondered if he could taste the tears, whether he relished it. Knowing what little you did of him, he might have.

"I would've come."

"No, you wouldn't have. Shh." He was right, but there had to be some other way.

"You know what, sweetheart?"

It was sickening how he could do this to you and then use words of endearment against you.

"You should actually be grateful."

And that's when you noticed that he was actually gripping onto your hair, tightening it when your face didn't show any contortion due to pain (only contortion due to unbridled rage and the urge to stab him with your car keys).

"I usually hurt people to get what I want. With you, I'm hurting myself."

You fought the urge to say 'so fucking what?'

"You're not bleeding, baby, that's what you don't get. You're untouched, and safe, and not bleeding. Me, however?"

What was his point? That he was being a gentleman by scaring you half to death instead of having a normal adult conversation?

"I'm bleeding. I'm hurt. I'm in pain. But I'm still holding you."

He said it with exaggerated magnanimity, like he was doing you a favour, or something, like all your problems, trauma, worries, stress, had just disappeared because he was holding you in his 'big strong arms'.

"Then stop!"

"Neither of us wants me to stop holding you."

"I do."

He grinned, knowingly, with a subtle shake of his head. "No, you don't."

"Let me go."

"No."

"Let me go, Nate."

"Fine. Because you called me Nate and not Jacobs.", he nodded, letting go of you and throwing up his arms. "Don't hit me again."

"Was McKay in on this?"

He frowned momentarily, before realization swept over his face. "Shit. Yeah, no, he wasn't. I should text him, huh?"

Oh, now he was asking if he should be a courteous human being?

You watched him loathingly, as he typed out what you guessed was a half-assed apology.

'Sorry, McKay, I'm good, man. Chicks, y'know?' or some absolutely fucked up shit like that, to be sure.

"Done. Now, will you stop being so square and enjoy the fact that you're here at school at midnight?"

"What?" Enjoy?

"I'll bet this is your first time out at midnight period, let alone your first time out at midnight somewhere you're not legally supposed to be."

"Why am I here?"

The condescending look he gave you set your teeth on edge. 'Oh, poor, naive girl. Of course she doesn't even know why she's here. This is why I told her to stay in my grasp. She never listens.'

FUCKING ASSHOLE.

"You're my good luck charm. My good luck charm, but I heard you're fucking Shane. You can't be doing that."

The softness in his movements, the gentleness, it had either completely stopped, or entirely overshadowed the fact that he had put you through yet another nerve-wracking event that would raise your blood pressure.

Shane who, Shane who, Shane- oh. Shane.

Not so much fucking as went on one date with, but it was better for everyone if Nate thought you had already gone that far.

"Why not?"

"He's a punk."

"You're one to talk."

"Look, he plays defense. What if you're just, like, intensely fortunate? Can't have him sneak in a quickie before the game and then he's lucky."

It's like he wanted you to punch him again.

"He's on your team. You'll win anyway."

He shrugged, as though he could see where you were coming from, but was about to respectfully absolutely ruin your argument.

"I like to win."

"Not a team player, are you?"

"Never claimed to be."

══════════════════════ ⋆♠️⋆ ═══════════════════

He was so clearly getting frustrated with your lack of response - the initial dopamine and thrill of being a disgusting element of surprise by shooting/not-shooting himself in the head gone.

But what could you say?

You'd already ghosted Shane after the date had tanked, so technically there was no reason for you to still be here. The chances of a 'lucky quickie' were virtually zero.

And so, you just stood there, the two of you, with inexplicable rage pooling within.

Your senses were heightened, your emotions wilder than the crazed look in your eyes as he stood there, looking down at you like an adult looking down at their childhood toy. As if you were the naivest, most precious, pathetically adorable thing he owned, reminding him of a simpler time.

At this point, even a rabbit's foot had been treated with more respect than you.

And you hated every moment of it because it was thrusted upon you, just like the silence of the eerie, void-like field you two were in.

"Why are you like this, Y/N?", he groaned, with the nerve to sound tired.

You? Why were you like this? What about him?

"You're… so cold." His hands flexed as if they were about to move from your hair to your throat. "Just… let loose, please. You're the reason I'm winning, I'd at least like to get to know you!"

"Oh, so this is like, an interview? Is she good enough to be associated with me? You think you're hot shit? Dude, I- you gotta realize how fucked up all of this is."

You were practically pleading. Acknowledge your absurdity, Nate Jacobs, please.

"Hey, whoa, look, you chose to associate yourself with me. Not my problem, ok?", he spat back, clearly happy with the return of banter.

"I didn't choose any of this!"

"You requested to follow me after I followed you. You chose not to block me after I followed you."

"You're putting this all on me?"

That's what normal people do ; they follow people back! He was grasping at straws, but it still seemed as though he had an iron grip on them.

"There wouldn't have been a first time if you didn't care so goddamn much." Like he was mocking you. You almost screamed. You almost hit him. He was so nonchalant.

But that… rang true. However, the humanitarian in you was adamant that there was absolutely no one cold enough to shrug off a video of someone slicing so effortlessly into their palm and exposing their blood so unabashedly.

Well, except Nate Jacobs himself.

"But, y'know what, Y/N?", he said, clearing his throat, matter-of-factly. "That's all in the past. Because now, now, we're going to sort out this arrangement between us and everything will go back to normal."

Normal? Normal as in, both of you go back to being strangers? Unlikely.

"Arrangement?"

"How this thing is going to go. Before every game, you fist-bump me. You don't touch any other players whatsoever, Blackhawk or otherwise."

Great, he was policing who you could fist-bump now.

"I- you brought me here at midnight for this?"

"Uh, no, I brought you here at midnight for fun.", he replied, scoffing. "But since you wanted to be all violent and physical, I thought we should stick to business."

Did he mean to be this insufferable? Was it a bit? There was no way an actual human being could act like this, yes? There was no way anyone could think that this was a justifiable response to a genuine question. Right?

At this point, you didn't know anymore.

Nate Jacobs had officially stumped you.

"If I say okay, can I leave?"

"No, you cannot leave, but you definitely can go sit over there and think about your little attitude before I bring out the tequila."

He burst out laughing at your annoyed face, slinging a heavy arm around your shoulder in an oddly possessive display of 'familiarity'.

"Relax. Loosen up, like I said, and you'll be fine.", he snorted, and that was your only indication that he did not, in fact, actually wish to put you into time-out.

The insane man with a gun had a sense of humour, apparently.

"You brought tequila?"

"I told you, the whole point of tonight was fun and getting to know the reason I'm winning better. So, sit."

You sat, still glaring up at him. You must have looked absolutely fucking cute or something, because he pouted at you before reaching into a duffle bag you hadn't noticed before and whipping out two bottles of straight tequila.

"Body shots?"

"Jacobs…"

"I'm joking, I'm joking. You'll come around soon, though. They all do."

Great. That's brilliant. You'd been reduced from a stranger, to a bitch, to a joke, to now a stereotype. This was just spectacular.

"Why me?"

That question seemed to genuinely catch him off-guard.

Good. Now he knows what this past week with him has been like.

"Hm?'

"Why me? Why am I the good luck charm?"

"I don't know."

"You could just be a really good player. You don't know, you haven't gone a single game without it, so you assume you're winning because of it."

"The third game was the one you weren't there for. You must remember hearing about it, though? Most embarrassing game for East Highland, I swear. 34-nil? That was shameful. That's why I decided, fourth game onwards, I wouldn't have to risk it because I got you."

Shit. That actually made sense.

"Okay, now you tell me.", he began, slightly turning the bottle in his hand around and examining the contents, curiously. "Shane Crestin? Seriously?"

"What?"

He scoff-snickered, taking an impressively large gulp before answering. "Y/N, the guy's a tool."

Look who's talking.

"He asked me out after the game."

"So, he knows you're my good luck charm.", he said, quietly, like a king trying to figure out where his men's loyalties lay.

Did Julius Caesar have a girl who he gaslit in order to get her to watch him in battle because of superstition? If so, she'd have been the first to stab him.

"Of course he knows, you made a huge spectacle of it that first time."

"Oh, yeah. But still, what a bastard. Trying to steal my lucky girl and her luck like that."

You needed to do a lobotomy on this man, seriously.

It wasn't even like you could ask him what the hell that meant because that would just bring him immense amounts of joy.

"You're not drinking. Why?", he inquired, opening the second bottle and forcing it to your lips.

You frowned as you held onto it. "I don't drink."

"Oh, bullshit. Come on, drink, don't be a nerd."

"I said no, okay?"

"Wait, do you not want to drink around me?"

He was really going above and beyond to break the 'dumb jock' stereotype, wasn't he?

"I can't believe it.", he continued, leaning back on the bleachers as he watched your face. "After all this, you don't trust me."

After all this, he said, as if he had spent his entire life working solely for your benefit. Like a tired mentor.

"I mean, dude, this is like… such a bitch move, you know that? I'm just trying to be nice."

"I don't know what you want me to do, Nate."

"Uh, trust me? Thought we were cool now, Y/N. You think I'm going to get you blackout drunk then have my way with you? Rape you? Are you scared to be around me? At midnight? In a quiet, empty football stadium where no one would think to look for you?", he questioned, still holding your gaze as he lifted his bottle to his mouth.

The elaboration of that statement unnerved you.

"I don't think you're going to rape me, I'm just-"

"Just scared of the possibility?"

"Don't take it personal, but-"

"There's no other way to take it. You're all but accusing me of assault. I thought you were different."

Was that meant to make you melt? 'Oh, no, I'm just like everyone else in that I don't want to end up in a ditch somewhere, the horror!'

"Maybe I'm not.", you shrugged.

"But you came. Tonight. No one else would have. So maybe you're a judgmental bitch like everyone else, but you've at least got your stupidly huge heart going for you."

If you strained your ears, that almost sounded like a compliment.

"Uh, thanks?"

"Drink, Y/N. Please."

Oh, fuck it. You needed that goddamn tequila to shoot through you with a vengeance.

"There we go.", he mumbled, watching you. "Dude, look at you."

"Hm?"

"You're finally badass."

His eyes lit up as he saw your finger enter the scene. He chuckled for a moment. "I'm being serious. I mean, you've beaten me up, what, three times so far - once in front of the entire school - and now you're doing underage shots with me at night at school, which is like, two illegal things at the same time."

See, that's where the difference between the two of you lay.

He thought that was being a badass.

You thought that was being a dumbass.

══════════════════════ ⋆♠️⋆ ═══════════════════

"…So yeah. That's why I joined football, basically. Made me feel, like, stronger and more in control, I guess."

This asshole had just told the most human story, and now you had to see him as a person. The cunt.

You watched as he stood in the middle of the field, aiming and shooting at the banners that were strewn up all around the field.

God, he was so fucking terrifying.

How does he play Russian Roulette to bait you into coming one minute and then reload and shoot at banners like a child with his first Nerf the next?

"Control. Yeah, that tracks."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You want everything to go your way. You get pissed when other people do things of their own will."

"Can't argue with that.", he shrugged, as he turned his back to you and shot another banner, impressively shooting right in the centre of the 'O' in a 'GO BLACKHAWKS!' sign. "You know how to shoot?"

"No."

"You should learn."

"I'll get right on that.", you scoffed, as you observed your tequila bottle intensely, ignoring him coming back to rest his feet on the bleachers from your peripheral vision.

"Open your mouth."

"What?"

"Humour me."

"I've humoured you enough tonight."

"Please? Pretty please?"

You rolled your eyes, but opened your mouth. You had no idea what you expected, but it sure as hell was not him stuffing the barrel of his gun in there. You suddenly felt the tequila evaporating from your bloodstream as he slapped your hands away after you tried taking it out, like anyone would. Shit, it hurt. FUCK.

"Just relax.", he whispered, so soothingly that he might as well have been talking you through a panic attack. "There's nothing to be scared of."

Besides the hot gun you've got basically lodged up my throat.

Suddenly, the amount of danger you really were in began to materialize in your head. He was right. It was midnight. It was spring break. It was at high school. No one would think to look for you there.

"Are you scared?"

Oh, God. He was one of those freaks who got off on these things.

You nodded, not really knowing what else to do.

"You think I'll shoot you?"

You shook your head.

"Kill you?"

You shook your head.

"Then why are you scared?"

Honestly, it was the fact that he wasn't going to do either of those things, and decided to shove a gun down your throat simply for shits and giggles.

"You need more tequila."

WHAT?

You frowned, but nodded. Anything to get the gun out of your mouth.

He poured it straight from the bottle into your mouth, watching with sick satisfaction as you swallowed, and you realized that he was psychotically drunk.

"How's that? I do it all the time, y'know? Hot metal plus cold tequila equals the best fucking night ever."

Um, ew. No. But that would be super unwise to say.

"You shove a gun down your throat then take a shot?"

"One of my more dangerous drinking games, yes. God, dude, look at you. Like, you're so fucking uptight, loosen THE FUCK up!"

You were unsure how much 'looser' you could get - you were already going along with his 'dangerous drinking game'.

"I am!"

"Not enough. Not even close. You need more."

"We're all out.", you said, (thankfully) pointing at the empty duffle bag next to him.

"Oh.", he sighed, slumping down next to you and using the duffle bag as a pillow. "Just- I don't get it. What is it about you?"

"That makes you get suicidal?"

He snorted, softly. "That makes me so mad?"

"You're mad?"

"Not like angry-mad. I mean like… crazy-mad. Like I go mad around you."

Five-year-olds could explain things better than him, but, to his credit, he was shitfaced.

"Really? Thought you were born that way."

"I mean, last week? When I kissed you? I don't do that shit. But it was the only way to shut you up. I-ugh. It's you, Y/N. Just fucking up my brain, one game at a time."

"Oh, oh, so you being a psychopath is because I didn't show up to one game?"

"When you're constantly worried about someone needing to be there, you do crazy things. Like cut yourself. I would have done it, too, seriously."

"I know. That's why I came."

"So, we weren't entirely strangers, huh? You knew me a little, at least?"

"Uh, no, we were definitely strangers."

"Now? What are we now?"

"Uh… friends?" You didn't mean that. You wouldn't be his friend if it killed you.

"No, I think I'd know it if we were friends." Phew.

"So, you tell me."

"What? No, you've been in charge this whole time, you tell me."

He just said you'd been in charge.

One offhanded, sweeping statement, and he'd shifted all the blame on you as easy as pie.

How did he do that?

It was obvious what he was referring to: the fact that none of these interactions would have happened if you just hadn't given a shit in the first place.

The fact that every single move of his had been linked to you, in whatever this weird everybody (except you) ante, sketchy poker game he was playing was supposed to be.

And it unnerved you.

Because in some twisted way, it was true.

"Acquaintances."

"But we've kissed.", he reminded, diligently and unwantedly. "Acquaintances - and classmates, before you suggest that - don't just kiss."

"Dude, then what do you want to be?"

Shit. That was what he'd wanted all along. For you to ask in exasperation, to give you his interpretation.

"You know, just… an average relationship between a man and his good luck charm." He inched closer, his hand loosening its grip on the railing as if it was going to do something, but there was no more tequila to reach out for.

There was only you.

And reach, he did.

First, his hands were on your cheek, like they had been a half hour ago. Then, suddenly, they were in your hair, and his tongue was trying to coax your words out of you directly from the source.

And you just let it happen.

If anyone knew why you let it happen, you'd have loved to start a suggestion box.

But you had a funny feeling that the only person who knew why was Nate Jacobs himself.

Fat chance he'd tell you.

#nate euphoria #euphoria x reader #euphoria #nate jacobs x y/n #nate jacobs x you #nate jacobs #nate jacobs x reader #nate jacobs fic #nate jacobs fanfic #euphoria fic #euphoria imagine #nate jacobs imagine #euphoria x you #nate jacobs fluff #euphoria fluff #euphoria dialogue #nate jacobs blurb #nate jacobs imagines #nate jacobs oneshot #nate jacobs hc #nate jacobs drabble #nate jacobs fanfiction #euphoria smut #nate jacobs smut

[darkbluekies]

Hello 🧐 saw that rude comment of an anon and... manners????💀 I really hope that was just a very poor worded comment and not meant like that!

Never get down with such comments! You're writing is legitimate perfect and perfection does take its time!

And MAY I ADD that you also didn't just left, but taking your time to interact with us daily and try to catch up asks and such!

youre are OBVIOUSLY very diligent and VERY patient ❤❤❤ PLUS the long ocean liner story??!!! HELLOOO???!

Yeah, I rest my case. One of the BEST and my most favourite hobby authors ngl! I am actually a very picky reader, rarely there are stories on the internet that keeps me interested and wanting for more 😍 And here are the crack stuff you asked for lol

Just a sneeze... Kry won't rest until darling literally does...

I forgot Krys glasses in the last one 😪

Darling stole the maid apron btw...

And this one was dedicated to one of your answers about a Hedwigs ask :3 where anon described how secretly scary Hedwig is bc you dont realise her intentions until its too late. And your answer's ending where you described darling being genuine and not having the urge to impress her like others made me think that a frugal!darling would be the most funniest partner for Hedwig lol. Someone who just doesnt want to spend money excessively despite its there... yeah have fun Hedwig! Mwah! :D

so yeah, that slap was personal too lmao, I dont trust a robot vaccum cleaner to be reliable XDD i am sorta a clean addict ^^

I have another one but that is wayyyyy too long and messy to finish it, in general these sketches are a hot mess (i apologize, I normally never post such unfinished wips but I hope you still had fun. Imma show you the other sketch per chat though :p)

Haha omg no these are fantastic what the hell? I laughed out loud in public and now people probably wonder what tf I'm doing😅 I love these so much. I'm not going to lie however, I thought it was Silas in the second comic before I read the explanation. Which means that I was totally fine with him wearing a maid apron. I do not know how to feel about that ...

Fun story, we own a robot vacuum that is ass, and one day it just ... disappeared? Literally grew legs and walked away. I looked for 30 minutes after that damn thing. IT HAD HIDDEN ITSELF UNDER MY MOTHERS FUCKING WARDROBE ... ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE APARTMENT?

I see that you've sent a private message so I'm going to take a peak right after this!!

I'm sure the anon used the wrong wording! But they're getting a story later on today so I hope that will satisfy them :) but thank you so much for your nice words, they warmed my heart🥹🫶🏻🩷

#missmerymoon #yandere oc art

[myrddin-wylt]

What insane history lesson or head canons do you have for this hungry anon tonight? <3

................ are current events not enough for you?

usually I'd come up with something because Yay History but atm I'm a little distracted watching Macron get crucified because he just completely fucking annihilated Europe's chances at economic stability. you're laughing. Macron is being crucified and you're laughing. but I can tell you about that if you like?

the tldr is that Europe is already struggling economically with the energy crisis (that, if you recall, was started by Russia), so the EU has been pushing hard on the US to loosen protectionist trade policies (ie not only is the US difficult to trade with, but businesses are being rewarded for relocating to the US). but given Germany and France's general Bullshit from February 2022 up till now combined with the already-extant American GOP sentiment that Europe has been getting a "free ride," now most of Europe is terrified that the US will not only stay economically protectionist but actually go full isolationist. also, of course, Europe is just as dependent on Taiwan as the US, if not even more, so saying that Taiwan is none of Europe's business is completely fucking insane and I genuinely have no idea what Macron was thinking there so uh. good job on that, you poor, poor dumbass.

good news for Australia: your AUKUS "diplomatic catastrophe" has been forgiven and in fact probably vindicated lmao

#ask #anon #irl current events #irl politics #you're not laughing but I sure fucking am #like yeah it shouldn't be funny but how do you fuck up so badly??? #imo Europe doesn't have to fear US isolationism #I mean good luck on that protectionism though but NATO will remain. it just might move hq to Poland lol

[extra-somethin-somethin]

If nothing else Koenma is a Kuwabara stan and I'm right there with him o7 (I need to write the kuwameshi fic that goes with this fr)

#maybe one day i'll write that au i have sitting in my head #ever since the comment he made about making kuwa spirit detective instead ive been thinking about it #like...what if yusuke is still recruited same as canon but like #kuwa was already spirit detective? doing assignments for the guys upstairs and all #and they made yusuke help him after his resurrection instead of going solo #and it's hilarious because they still have the ''rivalry'' set in place so it's like #now i gotta be coworkers with this guy i was in a fist fight with last week? #yusuke is like you can't be serious you want me to fight DEMONS with the guy who cant even beat ME? lmaooo okay #kuwa would be more in tune with his powers atp in this au and super offended like hello #why would i use my reiki on a FELLOW HUMAN CHILD you DICK i can hold my own on my assignments just fine #but he's actually really excited to be able to spend time with yusuke doing something besides getting his ass handed to him #they're both genkai's students (she's endlessly annoyed but they grow on her) #i just think it'd be fun cos like #it'd be harder to exclude kazuma from shit if he's literally been involved in this shit before he even met #kurama and hiei #kuwabara isn't really told about yusuke's resurrection so things go mostly the same up til he's brought back #they're both called to koenma's office and it's the spiderman pointing meme 💀 #it's koenma's first time seeing kuwa in person as he usually just sends assignments with botan #yusuke has already seen him cos of the resurrection arc #and koenma is SUCH a fanboy ''kuwabara it's such a pleasure. you know you're my best worker 🥺'' #''um urameshi am i seeing things or is that a fuckin baby'' yusuke will NOT stop laughing #it fucks koenma up so bad he makes sure he's in his adult form when he's around kuwa next #cos he wants to be the respected boss but also guy that you can chill with!! he's so cringe #okay yeah i need to write this it's such a fun concept #kuwameshi #yu yu hakusho #kuwabara kazuma #yusuke urameshi #koenma

[archduke-enver-gortash]

posting on here is like my sisyphean boulder i'm constantly rolling tbh

#god i am trying so hard to just have fun and be myself #but when i do that i'm immediately a strange outsider creep #and since i can't really mask my version of masking is just not talking and then obviously you don’t find any joy in fandom spaces either #i will always be a shitty unlikable freak no matter how much i pretend otherwise. it was obvious from the start that getting involved in #fandom spaces was a fucking mistake. it's always a mistake because you're some laughing stock at best and a horrifying freak at worst #i don't blame people for not liking me i've realised what an awful person i am long ago #but it's always so hard witnessing something like fun social groups from the sidelines knowing you'll never be a part of it #this is why my mental state has been deteriorating so severely in the last few months. that Realisation once again nothing fucking changed #i know it's stupid to get so upset over fandom but it's only a pattern for me #i stopped trying to be friends with people when i was a teenager because it hasn't worked a single time #this attempt at integrating myself into the wotr and bg3 fandom by sharing my shit was just one mistake #gortash/zeke is so different from anybody else’s work and i wish i could find joy in something that it isn’t fucking deranged but i can’t #like yes it’s just fandom bullshit! gortash/zeke is a fucking oc x canon ship! why am i getting so upset over it! #i love writing them. i’ve never been this happy writing anything. and it’s entirely indicative of a common pattern in my life #when i earnestly share parts of myself/things i’m passionate about people get creeped out. and honestly? rightfully so #i would leave the discord servers i’m in because it’s fucking crushing me dude. this is so petty but i’m so jealous of what you people have #but in one i am server owner and i don’t want to just dump that responsibility onto someone else and then dip #and in the other two i’m not sure anyone would even notice that i’m gone but i still worry about being rude #though i’m not entirely sure i didn’t get invited to one of those just so people could laugh at me. idk probably just being paranoid but i #it’s been gnawing at me #ok no if i’m being this vulnerable on tunglr.com i can also say that part of me staying is also still having the hope that i could fit in #one day. logically i know it won’t happen but it’s nice to have hope sometimes #watching you all from through the window having fun like a creep #so yeah. i’ve always felt like this but it’s been rapidly getting worse with my failed attempt at the bg3 fandom #idk just been crying non-stop for the last few hours. went through an entire pack of tissues in an hour it’s very disgusting #they’re all lying around me as i’m typing this like a pillowfort of snot lmao #so yeah. idk. if someone could come over and lobotomise me that’d be nice. orin where are you when we need you most #i never had any friends irl so i foolishly gave this a shot. i’m sorry #also doesn’t help that i can see someone dropping me for people that are easier to be around in irl rn #it just hurts because it’s always like that. someone you are around when you have no other option at best. not even that sometimes