#Tua god incorrect quotes

[elfecassepied]

Some TUA incorrect quotes about God

Spoilers s3 I think?

God: Jesus is the kid who made me want to have more kids.

God: Klaus is the kid who made me regret to had 43 more.

__

Jesus: *die crucified* Hey mom, sorry I came home a little early.

God: Oh my sweet baby, don't worry I will give you a little add so you can say goodbye to your friends and then I will make cookies for when you came back :)

.

Klaus: *die* Sup' mom! I know you said I hadn't curfew but I'm here <3

God: I didn't say you hadn't curfew I said I disown you, get out of my house.

__

God: Jesus! My sweet baby, I love you so much 🥺. You're such a good kid, I was so mad when humans killed you! Didn't the abilities I gave you were good enough? *sob* I want more kids, I'm sure they will be sweetheart like you. This time I'm gonna make them fucking badass so humans can't fuck up my babies >:(

*creates the Marigold's children*

*17 years later*

Half of them are dead or are claimed missing. 13 of them have been traumatized by Reggie. Five fucked up time and reality. Viktor caused the apocalypse directly or indirectly three times. Christopher is a cube. Klaus keeps dying and being a disrespectful little bitch.

God: What I have done...

__

Klaus: Why don't you just let me in the afterlife! Are you homophobic >:( ?

God: I'm literally a lesbian you're just an asshole.

__

God: Yes I love all my children equally. Jesus, Viktor, Five, Allison, /insert all the names of the Marigold's children/ and *reading the palm of her hand* Klovs...

__

Dave: *arriving in the afterlife* Hum, hello, are you God?

God: Since you're weird enough for falling in love with the ghosty bitch I don't know if it's a good idea of letting you in.

__

God "I created you so I can choose what I love or not": Yes I'm the superior being of life. An entity full of love and mercy.

Klaus: Hi.

God: Except for you.

#My personal headcanon is that God created the Marigold's children because she was nostalgic of her golden kid Jesus #tua incorrect quotes #tua spoilers #tua #Tua god #tua klaus #Tua god incorrect quotes #the umbrella academy #Tua Marigold's children

[umbrella-academy-hcs]

Klaus: sometimes wearing a shirt feels like my skin is burning and I want to rip it off my flesh until I'm just bones, its like this overwhelming torturous feeling and then I take off my shirt and I'm completely fine

Five: you're autistic

Klaus: that's what that is??

#god me too #sensory issues are a bitch #the umbrella academy #umbrella academy #tua #tua netflix #five hargreeves #tua five #number five #klaus hargreeves #tua klaus #autistic klaus hargreeves #autistic hc #actually autistic #tua incorrect quotes #umbrella academy incorrect quotes

[shit-people-probably-didnt-say]

Allison: Dont let the fact that you’re attracted to men stop you from hating them

Diego: It doesn’t

Klaus: It doesn’t, the fact Ive ended up with a man is a curs- …what was that Diego?

Diego: Nothing ?

Allison & Klaus: 👀

#got him #tua shitpost #tua incorrect quotes #diego is bi and bi-god I will die on this hill #hes just not as directly open about it #diego hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #allison hargreeves

[doyoueverstopandthink]

umbrella academy as shane and ryan quotes (part 3?):

luther: "snoopy, it was so bad. it was so bad."

diego: "[lila], sometimes we argue, but i've never wanted to murder you!"

allison: "look, man, cousins are weird. how come they aren't your siblings?"

klaus: "come on. i think it would be a great gesture for this new leaf we've turned over. come on and give me a hug."

five: "i like people who don't like other people... does that make sense?"

ben: "i thought this was gonna be a harder pitch. but you were like, 'hey, come inside me'"

viktor: "hey, dipshit. are you scared?"

lila: "[diego] and i are actually not friends"

#shane - luther/diego/allison/klaus/five #ryan - ben/viktor/lila #i opened up a video of random buzzfeed unsolved quotes and the first one that played was five's #and i went 'oh my god this is perfect' #also ben's is specifically him talking about possessing klaus kajskdfhasdf #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #viktor hargreeves #lila pitts #the umbrella academy #umbrella academy #tua #tua incorrect quotes #umbrella academy incorrect quotes #shane madej #ryan bergara #we are watcher #watcher incorrect quotes

[inprogress-predicament]

#viktor hargreeves #luther hargreeves #the umbrella academy #tua #source: gravity falls #incorrect quotes #to be clear #I am anti incest #Luther's thought here is #dear god #don't make me tell the one person who doesn't know that I'm in love with my sister #he's thinking #yes but in a very different and worse way

[eternal-peace-is-so-overrated]

Diego: Okay, first I’d like to introduce you to our new team member, Lila, and I’d like to thank her for her generous gift of two dollars, which she handed me outside this morning. Not necessary, but much appreciated.

Vanya: Why did you give him two dollars?

Lila: I thought he was homeless.

(July 9 -> 22 days till season 2)

#i mean i love his new look but god he looks homeless #lila and he will form such a good team tho having seen the trailer #the umbrella academy #umbrella academy #tua #ua #incorrect tua #tua incorrect quotes #the umbrella academy incorrect quotes #incorrect umbrella academy #incorrect umbrella academy quotes #umbrella academy s2 #diego hargreeves #00.02 #lila pitts

[incorrect-blind-channel]

[In an argument]

Joonas: And if Tommi were here, he'd agree with me!

Tommi, from the other room: No, I don't.

Joonas: Fuck off!

#blind channel #joonas porko #tommi lalli #incorrect quote #source: the umbrella academy #lots of tua tonight but i make the rules here and i am my own god

[sunsetsintandem]

Klaus: I'm Klaus, 30. I met God and told her I was agnostic.

Ben: This is exactly why God hates you.

Klaus: Pretty sure she has bigger problems than me being a non-believer.

#the umbrella academy #incorrect quotes #klaus hargreeves #ben hargreeves #theumbrellacademy #tua #tua klaus #tua ben #tua god #little girl on the sky

[ultimate-fangirl34]

Klaus: *aggressively donating to charity*

Diego: Whatcha doing?

Klaus: I’m trying to be a more likeable person

Diego: To become better?

Klaus: So god doesn’t hate me and I can die

#incorrect quotes #meme #funny #five #tua #klaus #umbrella academy #diego #god #klave #luther #vanya #allison #ben #four #two #i don’t even know anymore

[tkclips]

In heaven

Bicycle girl: gif is pronounced jif btw

Ben: I’ll keep that in mind jod.

#found this post online lmao #tua incorrect quotes #bicycle girl #tua god #The Umbrella Academy #tua ben #ben hargreeves #hargreeves #tua #we need to give her more credit #incorrect quotes #incorrect tua #number six

[elfecassepied]

Where is my TUA's fic where Jesus "if you're offended by how she dresses well look away" is the nice but sassy big brother of the Marigold's children and tries to put some sense in them or simply being an healthy support ?

Like manifesting in Five and Luther's dreams when they were alone in the Apocalypse/on the Moon for chatting with them so they don't feel abandoned.

Being the literal guardian angel of Claire so Allison can get a break with peace in her mind.

Secretly multiplying food in Diego's cupboard when he forgot to go shopping after a rough week of vigilant activities.

Blessing every water Ben touchs when he was alive because it will calm down The Horror and he want to help his little brother feel better.

Manifesting to Klaus like a ghost for big brothered him with Ben. "You need to eat Klaus.

-I ate two hours ago!

-You need VEGETABLES not smarties!" And also scaring the bad souls so they let him alone.

And convincing the souls of dead famous violinists to manifest in Viktor's dreams for helping him with the new piece he's working on.

WHERE IS IT DUH?

Parenthesis

My theory for the TUA's canon is that Reggie created the Marigold's children

BUT

As a headcanon I like the idea of God created them when she was in a nostalgic mood (because Jesus was so good how it can possibly go wrong?), I made some incorrect quotes for that. Tired Parent God and Big Brother Jesus is my confort au ok ?

#Big brother! Jesus #God: Where you go 43 kids with parental issues forever and superpowers #Jesus: Siblings :D #Jesus may be nice but he will totally roast them if he had the chance #Joke on him because Klaus will roast him back #I like to think only Klaus can really see him outside the dreams because you know he's dead #But can you imagine Klaus coming to his siblings explaining that he can see Ben and Jesus is their big brother and they say hi? #Kinda understandable they think he's high #the umbrella academy #tua god #Tua Jesus #tua au #Tua Marigold's children #tua allison #tua klaus #tua five #tua #tua luther #tua diego #tua viktor #tua ben

[malecacidd]

Ben: *goes into the light*

Vanya: oh my god this is so sad alexa play despacito

#im so fucking sorry jfjdjdjsjd god this is awful i hate this and myself jfjdjdjdm #tua s2 spoilers #tua #the umbrella academy #ben hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #tua incorrect quotes #the umbrella academy incorrect quotes

[misstundra]

Klaus *captures the Sparrow Cube in a headlock and rubs the surface*: 🎶i'M A gEnIE iN a BOTtlE baBy🎶

Cube: 🎶YOu gOtTA RuB mE tHe rIGhT WaY HOnEy🎶

Cube: *shakes sporadically and then implodes*

#I JUST found out about the Cube #A God fearing citizen finally informed me and now I'm liberated #the umbrella academy season 2 #the umbrella academy #tua s2 #incorrect tua quotes #tua cube #the umbrella academy cube #the sparrow academy #klaus hargreeves #robert sheehan #christina Aguilera #genie in a bottle

[shit-people-probably-didnt-say]

Klaus: Dear sorta mean little girl on a bike, the men you have put on this earth to hunt and build houses are ruining my peaceful nights with absolute tomfoolery and what can only be described as utter shenanigans

Klaus: Send help

Sorta Mean Little Girl On A Bike: *Read*

#god leaves him on read #he did call her mean tbf #the umbrella academy #tua #tua shitpost #tua incorrect quotes #klaus hargreeves

[incorrect-umbrellas]

klaus, in bed, half asleep: *sneezes*

ben, from under the bed: bless you

klaus: ....satan?

#the original said god #but he met god and he knows damn well god wouldn't bless him #allison hargreeves #ben hargreeves #diego hargreeves #five hargreeves #five the umbrella academy #five tua #klaus hargreeves #the umbrella academy #tua #tua fandom #luther hargreeves #tua five #tua vanya #umbrella academy #vanya hargreeves #vanya tua #vanya the umbrella academy #klaus incorrect quote #diego incorrect quote #five incorrect quote #vanya incorrect quote #klaus hargreeves x reader #klaus the umbrella academy #incorrect quote #incorrect umbrella acadamy #umbrella academy vanya #justin min #robert sheehan

[imakeficrequestsandthendisappear]

Klaus: God really said “I’m gonna make this hoe good at nothing and see how they do”

>>>> source <<<<

#the umbrella academy #tua #incorrect tua quotes #tua shitpost #klaus hargreeves #check out the source #they deserve more likes #i did ask permission #klaus is a disaster pan #tua god #non binary klaus