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keruimi · 18 hours

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The Person behind My Passion

Pairing: Tsukishima Kei x Reader

Warning: Angst and Comfort

Note: I wrote this while I was watching an amv about him. Titled: [AMV] Tsukishima Kei - Pride. It inspired me to write this for a better imagination. I suggest you watch it. My first Haikyuu oneshot so enjoy!!!

_____________________________

"I'm quitting"

Those were the words I let out in front of the volleyball team in my second year of high school.

For the reason...

Of not being happy at this place anymore.

"Tsukki! Are you crazy?!" I heard Yamaguchi the moment I stepped out of the gymnasium with my belongings as I didn't bother looking back anymore.

"Tsukki!" I kept hearing him calling for my name until I felt my ears block any sounds from my surroundings.

Until I finally felt the strange throb in my chest.

Right...

I don't love volleyball. Because it's one of the reasons for my trust issues. The reason why someone lied to me.

But right now... I'm asking why I gave it another chance.

A second chance to dedicate myself to it again.

Volleyball was my hobby before, until it became my passion the moment I proved myself worthy to be a player in the court.

All of it started, because of one lady that caught my interest.

"I want to see you in court. In the volleyball court"

That was her first request from me. The request that made her close to me.

The sport that helped me build my relationship with her.

The game that made me see the happiest moment of her life. The plays that made her my proudest fan.

I felt a tear slide from my cheek.

The game that made her love me deeper, but was never enough to make her stay at all.

Fuck...

I feel like I'm losing myself

~•°•~

"I don't believe that Tsukki would quit like that so easily!" I shouted in frustration towards my fellow members as I held back my tears.

I will make sure he stays.

After all, I believe he started to love volleyball again.

"Yamaguchi"

"Tsukki" I felt myself start as I properly stood up. "He's the type of person to love something the moment he starts to be happy with it"

"I don't dare believe he would leave wholeheartedly"

"Why are you leaving?! I thought you began to love it again?" I managed to catch up to him when he halted from his steps.

I grabbed his uniform and made him turn to look at me but I stopped when I saw how he gazed at me.

It feels so foreign to me.

"What's wrong Tsukki"

"Please tell me"

Silence settled around us as I fisted my hands when those seconds turned minutes.

"Tsukki!"

"I have no reason to stay"

"Because she was the reason I played"

"I will make sure to bring him back"

~•°•~

Why did we end up in this way?

A man who once stood beside her, can just silently linger his gaze on her.

I look away with that thought as I put my headphones on my ears to block the voices of the people around me.

I hate how my heart can't stop aching.

Where did it go wrong?

Where did I go wrong?

I hate when I feel like I am the one who lost everything.

When she was the first one to love me.

"How was it?" She asked me as I lent her my jacket before we started walking back home.

"It was fine" I told her as I heard her hum happily that moved my heart a little.

"I am so happy you got accepted. Rest assured, you would always see me in your games" she declared wholeheartedly as I nod, going along with her words.

Silence surrounds both of us when she notices I kept my mouth shut.

I just stopped walking when I didn't hear her next footsteps. I looked back and saw how she stayed still in her place while looking at the sky above us.

"I love you because you play volleyball..." She whispered before she lowered her head for our eyes to meet each other.

"But I didn't know seeing you play again would be one of the memories I choose to cherish." She chuckled before she went closer until she stopped in front of me.

"You really made me happier, Kei"

The woman who made my heart skip a bit, would be the same person to break me into pieces.

She started everything...

But she was also the same woman who left me with nothing...

I felt someone stood beside me that made me glance at them and saw her.

I didn't bother talking as I stood up to leave.

"I heard you quit"

Those were her first words that made me scoff.

"That's right" I told her as I fix my things as the class reaches its end.

"Why" I didn't fail to notice how her voice turned to whispers that made me scoff.

It is not obvious?

"Why did you leave?"

That I only played volleyball for her.

"Because I chose to"

"Kei" she called out when I answered her as I zipped my bag close.

"You made me hate it" I honestly admit to her as I saw how her eyes widened a little.

"I never wanted to play that sport again until you came into my life. A woman who reminded me how I loved volleyball back then" I looked back at her.

"I hate myself for giving it another chance" I continued as I properly faced her.

"Just because of one woman"

She stayed still facing me as I saw her contemplate whether to say the words she was thinking or stay silent.

"Tell me what you wanted to tell me" I sighed as I let my hands fall to the side.

"Does Kei hate me?"

I looked down on her who chose to not look at me as I felt my chest tightening.

"I hate you so badly"

Because I started to love you truly.

"You love volleyball" I started before I gazed on the window behind her to see how the sun started to set.

"But it was just a club for me" I muttered. "I have no reason to keep going for it"

"I'm sorry"

I heard her but I was so numb that her apology felt so empty.

It felt nothing...

I felt myself leave the room as I let my feet and took me to where it decided to guide me.

And I saw myself staring at the open gym doors of the volleyball court.

Great...

I felt myself getting suffocated when all of the feelings I felt in this gymnasium went back to me.

When can I have peace of mind?

Why is everything blurry in my mind?

These are the times I need to keep my cool.

But I felt my cold barrier broke when Nishinoya was the one who stood in front of me.

He silently stared at me before he sat on the bench near the gymnasium while I stayed still in my spot because I got caught.

I wonder what his next words will be...

"Right now, I'm going to blame your impulsive thoughts when you decide to quit the team" he stated with his arms crossed while I saw him look ahead the moment I turned to face him.

"You get the recognition you wanted. A great player you wanted to be. Why did you quit?" He looked up to me and I felt how serious he is on this entire ordeal I started.

"I can't play like how I used to be" I admitted as I leaned on the wall near me.

"I feel like I can't keep my focus back on the game"

That was the truth. Because volleyball reminded me of her.

Now we broke up, it feels like I will lose my entire focus. Since I dedicated the game to her.

"It will be too much for me"

I don't want to drag the whole team because of my heartbreak.

He kept silent that made me close my eyes to cherish the small sounds of balls hitting the floor and the squeaking of the player's shoes.

The sounds that I got accustomed to.

"Do you love volleyball?"

"I don't know" I answered without a second thought. "But.."

"I did love the moment that everyone cheered for me. It was those moments I thought I would never experience"

"Volleyball..."

Was everything for me, like she was to me.

"I love volleyball because I am good at it. And I found the friends I needed" I heard him that made me open my eyes to gaze at his back.

"If that one reason left, find another reason to stay" he stood up from his seat before looking back at me with a smile.

"After all... You began to love volleyball too"

I let him walk past me as the blank color of my mind finally started to fill with thoughts.

His words made me realize. I found the things I love because of volleyball.

I look at my hands that I used to receive the spike of players.

I somehow need to learn how to play with a heavy heart.

It's been three weeks since I finally decided to approach Takeda-sensei to give back the form he returned to me the moment I declared on leaving.

That moment, it felt like everything went back to their own places.

I was glad that the team welcomed me back without side remarks. The things I would usually do if someone is in my shoes.

But that time, I learned to put my happiness in volleyball.

I went back to my usual routine after getting the hang of the break up.

Everything is going as it should be, until I saw her in the library.

She was laying her head in a table as her close eyes captured my attention.

Somewhere deep within me, I wish everything would go back to the way it was before.

Everything...including our relationship.

I remove my eyes from her as I decide to walk to another aisle until I hear her tiredly call for my name that made me halt from my steps.

I looked back and thought she was just sleep talking but I changed my mind when I saw her sit properly while rubbing her eyes.

"You're finally here"

Her words made my mind blank as I looked at her with no emotions.

Do we still need to talk?

"Can we please talk?"

I felt my heart start to feel heavy again as I frown in annoyance because of these feelings.

I still can't get over her.

"Let me get this straight. I don't want you calling for me anymore. You and I are nothing but strangers"

"I'm sorry" she cut me off that made me prevent myself from frowning harder.

"I know. You already told me that"

"Fear took over me" she muttered as she slowly blinked her tears away. "Because you became someone so great, I feel like I'm not deserving of you"

"I felt like you would get tired of me. I thought I could get used to your dismissive character. But it scared me" she didn't give me a chance to cut her off so I finally chose to stay silent.

"I thought I could careless what you think of me, but I didn't know I cared about your words so deeply" she wiped her tears before looking back at me.

"I was afraid I will become no one the moment you reach something bigger. Our future turned blurry the moment your status to the public changes."

"You change to someone better while I am still the same" she sobbed out.

"Until it felt like I don't belong in your world anymore"

~•°•~

"I hate this"

I suddenly started as I heard Yamaguchi let out a small sigh in confusion as I scoffed.

My mind was jumbled again. Just because I met her.

The world keeps testing my patience.

"She apologized to me. She told me the reasons I decided to not seek anymore" I told him as I decided to be the one to stop walking so I can talk to him properly.

"Right now, is it acceptable to just leave or give another chance that will surely break me"

I saw him lift a small smile to me before shaking his head.

"Y/n..." He called out for his name before sitting down on the sidewalk that was in front of me.

"She was the type of person to be happy at small things. But small things can also hurt her easily"

He looked up to me with a small smile.

"Everyone is deserving of a second chance, Tsukki. It was a chance where you could correct all the wrong things." He stated as he sigh before looking at the moon above us.

"Don't deprive her of it. Since you also didn't give her the assurance she needed." He stated truthfully before standing up to face me.

"You should see the slight changes. Especially when you love a woman whose love language is words of affirmation" he chuckled before patting my shoulder.

"Another chance for both of you"

"For a peaceful life"

Those were the times I was thankful that I have Yamaguchi in my life.

Now, the woman who once broke me, was the one who I also decided to embrace.

The moment feels so right.

That I decided to just forget our past and focus on the new relationship we both have.

The person who proves to me that second chance is not always bad.

Sometimes, it is also given to us to correct the mistakes we both had.

Because of her...

Second chances feel so right...

#haikyuu #haikyuu oneshot #haikyu x reader #haikyū!!#haikyuu tsukishima #haikyuu tsukki #tsukishima kei #tsukishima x reader #hq tsukishima #hq #hq x reader #hq x y/n #haikyuu comfort #haikyuu angst #haikyuu anime #kei x reader #tsukishima kei x reader #Spotify

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keruimi · 18 days

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To Be Worthy of Someone

Tengen Uzui x reader

Warning: Angst and Comfort

Note: This oneshot gave a slight peek of what I'm experiencing in reality until it finally burst so I decided to let everything out in this. I don't know if I'm overreacting but I can't hide that worry, insecurities, and fear that I really have no one. Advice is greatly appreciated.

_____________________________

Before, I thought I could survive in this life as long as I had them.

The people who I shared my problems with, the people who once comforted me at my lowest.

The friends who I'm now watching from far away.

With my social anxiety, I can't have the strength to approach them.

Because I knew they would see me as an outsider.

They have the same interest, while I just join them to have someone accompany me in this lonely world.

Even the introverted people I knew found where they belong to.

So why do I feel like I don't belong anywhere?

The friends I got close with either become backstabbers or insensitive people.

Like one wrong move and they would never turn their head in my direction anymore.

I notice how distant I am to them.

That's what they made me feel.

One opinion from me, they would get angry or annoyed. Like I don't even have the right to speak.

Even the closest one I have, slowly to show her dislike on me.

I told myself I need to walk away, but I can't.

Because they are the only ones I have.

Even if they are the same people who made my self-hatred deepen more.

The same people who made me question if there is something wrong with me?

"Even the others saw you're just forcing yourself to them"

That's how the people around me saw it and I can't help but agree more.

They are right...

I have no true friends in the first place.

That it led me to the position where I am now. Facing the cliff where I once went before I thought of suicide.

I want to start a new life again.

Even if it means reaching the end of this life.

I thought I feared death or the monsters hiding within the shadows.

But I guess I feel more scared when the entire world makes me feel like I was no one at all.

Living in this kind of world doesn't benefit me.

So let's just end it

Even if I'm still confused if I was the one who ruined the friendship I tried so hard to protect.

But did it even exist in the first place?

I heard myself chuckle on my thoughts.

This is why I wanted reassurance. Words coming from their own mouth that I was accepted. That I was someone to the people who are important to me.

Because the time I'm pushed to the edge, the insecurities and doubt would catch up to me.

But I guess it's time to stop expecting too much.

It was toxic for myself to be with them.

If I leave, I will be free from the monsters on my mind who keep ruining me

So starting a life where no one would see me the same way the world did.

Is the best option I need to take.

I felt the tears leave my own eyes as I took a step towards the edge of the cliff.

It was the best for me.

This is for me.

I don't want to keep living in a world where I never felt like I belonged.

One step...

I want to live in a world where I am loved by the people I chose to love.

Where I don't question myself anymore if someone still loves me not out of obligation or responsibility.

Like the love I felt from my parents.

Another step...

Being the second born daughter who learned to become independent at such a young age, they decided by themselves that I can handle myself.

I have no one but myself.

And another...

I finally felt the feeling that people would only come to you if you have something they need.

I gave everything and it drained me.

No matter how much I practice just to reach their standards, learn the things they love even though I don't want those things.

I kept adjusting but no one decided to adjust just for me.

My efforts to be someone was for nothing.

The main thing I feared the most ever since I was a kid.

I feel like I am gladly accepting it right now with open arms.

I look at the moon shining above me.

May God forgive me...

And I finally braced myself to fall forward until a voice broke the barrier of my intentions.

I slowly glance at the person behind me as my eyes widen when the silhouette of the sound hashira is the one that greeted me.

Both of us were silent as I bow down as a respect for a high ranking warrior like him.

"How unflashy" I heard him murmur that made me step back to test him and I saw how he immediately moved from his position that made me stop from my movement.

Until he is within my reach...

I didn't dare lower my gaze at him and saw how he sighed when he realized my actions.

"Ending your life is not worth it. But I admire how you seem certain with this decision of yours" I felt his hand on my shoulder in a friendly manner that I can't help but look up to him who already has his eyes on me.

"Let's talk about this as a colleague of the Demon Slayer Corps"

That time I felt how I slowly changed my decision on ending it.

Because an unknown person decided to show his concern to a person like me.

And I decided to write another chapter of my own story

When I took the risk of trying again

~•~

The situation I am in right now made it clear that It was my fault I was in this kind of situation.

Being warmly embraced by the same man who lightened my world that night.

I don't know what I did to make him love me but I sure did ask him a lot about it.

So I can assure that I would never lose the trait that made me loved by him.

"Tengen, let me go. I still need to finish baking the snacks I'm preparing for you" I told him as I tried to remove his hands away from my waist.

But I stopped from my movement when I felt his lips that was giving small kisses on my shoulder lift into a small smile that made me turn red.

"What?" I have the urge to ask him and it was immediately followed by a chuckle.

"I'm just thinking how you are pushed into that decision when I begin to love everything about you" He stated honestly that made me stop struggling on his arms as I gave him a side glance.

It seems like he is giving me the answer I am badly asking for.

"Please do enumerate those so called 'things'" I challenge him but deep in my heart, I really want to keep holding on to those words he would speak out next.

I let out a squeal when he lifted me up to face him making it look like I was straddling him. I stayed still in that position as our eyes never left each other

"The way you give me everything you have. Whether its your time, love, care, advice, and effort. I love those"

His eyes gaze on mine as I felt how my eyes started to get glossy.

"It was no effort"

"No" he countered my words before chuckling. "Being that kind of person is already your character"

"Y/n, I love everything about you and I'm not kidding"

A small smile lifted from my lips as I thanked the heavens that my tears haven't fallen from my eyes yet.

I took the risk of loving him even though I'm not sure I would have the ending I wanted.

God has finally favored me...

I started to pepper kisses on his face as his arms on my waist started to tighten in an attempt to bring me closer to him.

I am deserving of his love too.

I surrounded myself with negativity that I forgot the loveable traits I have.

Because the time we got together, I made up my mind that I would do everything just to make him stay.

Even if it's exhausting...

Risky...

Scary...

As long as it's our love, I'll do my best to keep that one alive.

I felt his lips on mine...

My destiny finally went to my favor.

I am finally embraced by the person I love.

And I finally become someone important to someone's life

#kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #love #hashira x reader #kny #kny hashira #spotify #kny fanfic #comfort #kny tengen #tengen uzui x reader #tengen uzui #tengen x reader #demon slayer tengen #kny uzui #demon slayer uzui #uzui x reader

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keruimi · 1 month

Note

Hello there! If you accept requests I was wondering if maybe you could write some headcanons of the hashiras seeing reader (Who's older and also a hashira) as an older sibling figure? Only if you want to ofc and if it's possible all of them, if not that's alright! Have a nice day / night! ^^

My Saving Grace

Author's Note: I finally have the will to post this. I tried, I really tried because I'm not sure how to write this since I prefer oneshots. I don't see the characters as a sibling figure too so it was really difficult to grant this. But since it was the first request I received, I tried to write this. I love scenarios and this made me really know how to write one. Sorry for taking too long and sorry for not managing to get every hashira included but I hope I did it correctly. Hope you enjoy it!!

Mentions of death, abuse, and trauma.

Characters: Sanemi, Obanai, Giyu

_____________________________

On the torture room, the smell of blood is staining the nose of the Young Master of the Ubuyashiki Family the moment he enter the room.

Within the four walls of the room, his eyes laid on the table that was placed in the middle of the room as a figure of a woman soaking from her own blood was the one thing that greeted him.

He felt his wife let go of his hand as he slowly walked inside the room. The people inside left to give them the private time he requested for.

The moment the door closed, he started to walk closer to the woman he got to learn about.

"Fuyutsiki Y/n, can you hear me?" His gentle voice rang across the room yet silence was the only thing that responded to him.

He sat on the stool that was close to her as he held his focus on the eyes of the woman who was just staring at the ceiling above them.

"Do you still have the heart to listen for what I'm about to request you with?" He continued noticing she won't bother responding with the torture still felt by her body.

"Do you want to take your life back?" That question finally manages to get a slight movement from the woman as she blinks her eyes from what she heard.

"Even if I did..." It was barely heard with how she tried to let those words out.

It was still painful

"What can I possibly do?" It ends up as a whisper that made Kagaya put his hand above hers to offer his sincere comfort to the woman.

"You can protect the people who suffer the same way you did. Under my wing, killing wouldn't be a sin"

A tear fell from the woman's eyes when those words were stated. Somehow, the slight heavy feeling on her chest lightened even just a little bit.

It became more bearable with the guilt she is now experiencing.

"I just want to be free. But no one wants to save me" she stuttered out as more tears followed that mix with the blood trailing down from her head.

"Now that I freed myself from that man, why do they need to punish me for it?", She started to question her fate as the young man silently listened to her pain.

"I became a sinner because I want to be happy"

Kagaya slightly grip her hand to remind her he is still here with her. Sharing the pain she is going through.

"Another chance. There is a path you can take without going against your morals but at the same time where you can heal" he exclaimed that made the woman glance at him.

"I can give you that"

That was the time Y/n chose the path Kagaya offered her.

And that is to become a Demon Slayer...

Known as the Winter Hashira, in three years, she managed to climb the ranks of the corps without any sight of injury ever being seen on her.

If anyone were able to describe her, a woman who moves with elegance and gentleness that became her advantage on the battlefield.

She kills her target without blood even staining her body.

A woman who finished her job beautifully.

Those were the words of the staff that can usually be hear when someone ask about the quiet woman who always spend her time in a garden.

She looks untouchable like a noble lady. So the others never bother getting along with her.

Yet without a doubt, she maintained her Hashira position compared to the Hashiras where the kids (Future Hashiras) were training under.

It made them doubt her abilities. A woman who seems to have no care about the world.

Until...

In the middle of daylight, after a Hashira meeting. A woman's hand is seen gripping her fellow Hashira's neck.

"Y/n-san! Please calm down" Kanae's voice can be heard on the Estate as the kids (Some Future Hashiras), were silently watching from the window of the Butterfly Mansion.

The man let out a gasp when the hands of the Winter Hashira tighten, blocking his airway.

"Let me make it clear to you about your role. You were chosen to become an example, not a corrupt person" the voice of a woman that is laced with undeniable hatred can be heard as Kanae can't help but close her mouth.

"You have no rights to hurt the kids as if they were your stress reliever. Especially if no mistake was made" the woman let go of the man as they fell on the floor, gasping.

"If you can't control yourself, then you shouldn't be a Hashira" the anger of the woman was clearly seen from how her eyes seem to lighten up like she can kill the person in front of her in a second.

"Y/n-san, you're breaking a rule-"

"The rules don't dictate me. It's my job to correct mistakes, especially entitled people like you." She calmly stated as she wiped her hands with her handkerchief, acting like her blood was not boiling from anger a while ago.

"Don't test me"

That moment changed the perspective of the kids who she defended.

____________________________

Sanemi:

He was fifteen when it all started

Anger...

That was all I felt as I held my friend's deceased body. While the demon's body slowly withered from my vision.

I failed to protect the person who gave a chance on the friendship I never thought would bloom.

I lost another person against the demons.

The stinging pain in my chest was ignored as my vision turn red that i ddin't notice I started to have a rampage and killed every demon I encountered without any mercy.

That when I encountered another lower moon, I finally lost the strength to keep going on as I fell to the ground along with Masachika's body.

I'm Tired...

Tired of being the defender, tired of forcing myself to keep going for the people I failed to save.

Tired of holding on to the hatred I held for the demons.

Where is the peace I first wanted. Will all of that be unreachable to reach?

I didn't have the time to see the head of the lower rank demon decapitate before the silhoutte of the well-known hashira stood in front of me.

"What are you doing?" I utter as her blank gaze look down on me.

Somehow in that little time, I wish to just die.

But someone like her prevents that wish of mine from being granted.

"I'm doing what I promised to the world" she answered my question where the answer was already serve.

I felt myself getting pulled up from the ground that made me tiredly sat up as she crouch in front of me.

"This is one of the challenges you need to get passed through" her presence made me almost didn't realize the help that finally arrive as my friend's body was taken away from me.

I felt the anger that made me numb, set free again as it surround the heart that almost stop beating.

"It's not the end of the world, Sanemi. You can't give up yet"

Her words made me scoff as I finally had the courage to gaze on her own orbs.

"What am I even fighting for?"

It was a question that I should have the answer. But now the grief made my mind a mess that is starting to make me confused.

But one thing I'm sure of was I'm really tired.

"What would I benefit from here?"

I sacrifice so many things yet I don't know what I would receive in the end.

"Is fighting really worth it?"

"Yes" she didn't hesitate, not even a bit from her answer as her firm gaze never left mine.

"Make that anger, that pain your weapon. So you would achieve the very first reason why you decided to put your life in line to protect the others." Her grip on my arm started to loosen as she completely kneel to be on the same level as me.

"You want peace. Not only for yourself but also for the world we live in. You want justice, for yourself and for the people who lost their life on these battle." Her words started to enter my mind as my stiff body softened a little and the burning anger, started to slowly rest in my chest.

"Sanemi, there's a lot of reasons to keep fighting. And one of those is being the savior of many" her gaze slowly turned less icy as she put her words in my head.

Dictated every word, and engrave it to my mind. So the confusion that the pain gave me, can be cleared and answered like I needed.

"The world is not forcing you to keep going. But you can rest so you can continue fighting. Let me be your aid in this time you need someone" she put her hand on her chest as a declaration.

"Then after this, you can grant the dream you wanted for the old you and for the people who you lost along the way"

"As someone who keeps going on this path, let me look after you. Let me stay beside you. As your guide, and as your teacher"

I felt my chest slightly warm up when her words made me feel that I was finally being protected instead of always being the protector.

Someone is finally looking after me like how it was supposed to be.

I finally found someone I thought I didn't need.

Obanai:

He was thirteen

"Little one, come over here" I heard her gentle voice towards my direction as I didn't raise my head to look at her. I tightly grip on the clothes I was holding as Rengoku-san gave me a slight push like it was my cue to go near her as she asked.

With trembling hands, I approached the woman and became wary of the moment I saw how she treated her fellow hashira.

But I unknowingly admire her for standing up for me. Due to the trauma I felt, I still can't help my body to stop trembling when a person gets angry at me.

Only her, who stood up for me.

I slightly flinch when I feel her cold hand touch my warm ones before she gently pulls me closer to her.

She raised the sleeves that were hiding my arms and saw some slight bruises that formed from being beaten by a stick.

"Does it hurt?" Her gentle voice manages to calm my nerves as she rubbed circles on it that gave me the strength to look at her and saw her eyes already staring at my own.

"From now on, you would be under my care so don't worry" she lifted a small smile before caressing my cheeks as I nod, trying to stop myself from crying.

"There, there" she soothes me down when she senses I'm near on breaking down as she sat me on the bed before taking the bottle of cream from the side table.

"We both know you can do it for your dreams, alright?" She exclaimed before she applied the cream on my bruises.

"Y/n-san" I called for her in a shaky voice as she hum and raised her head to look at me.

"Can I cover the lower part of my face?" I asked in almost a hush tone and I saw how her eyes sadly gaze on the scar that was clearly seen on my face.

Sensing her attention was on it, a tear fell on my eyes because of fear and shame.

I heard her close the bottle before I felt her hand behind my head as she brought my head to her chest so I could free my tears that I badly wanted to hide from the world.

"If hiding your insecurities can make you stronger. We can hide those" I heard her as I can't help but seek for her warm more.

After being alone on the cold dungeon on my own family's home. I finally heard the encouragement and felt the warmth I was seeking for.

Giyu:

He was fifteen

Within in the shadows of the corporation, only her who look for my figure. Someone who never wanted to be left alone.

The quiet woman who I always spend my time with when I have no one beside me.

I thought we were only acquainted until she started to remind me of my deceased sister.

Until her actions slowly started to comfort me.

I felt someone hold the wooden sword that I keep swinging towards the trunk of the tree as I forcefully let out my breath while trying to stop my trembling hand.

Another nightmare.

The same nightmare that prevent me from moving forward without any guilt or negative outlook in life that those important people in my life want me to think about.

It never fail to remind me how useless I was in that moment. And right now, I felt like I'm still chained to that trauma.

"Giyu" I heard her call for my name first that I snap from my thoughts but my grip on the wooden handle didn't falter.

"Go easy on yourself. Don't degrade the strength you have within"

Her monotone voice didn't help me that I almost want to leave until her next words made me want to stay.

"Because you're just a kid" I lifted my head in a speed of light and my teary eyes met her warm ones.

"As someone who watch you from the sidelines, you're better than what you always thought of" her tone started to soften as she immediately took the sword the moment I began to let go.

"So take a rest"

I finally heard the assurance I always tell myself. The words I want to use as a barrier to my own nightmare.

I was better than I know.

And hearing that from her became my comfort in those silent fights on my own mind.

I finally have someone who would be my light on this dark night

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keruimi · 2 months

Text

His Only Exception

Obanai x reader

Warning: Angst and comfort. Platonic Relationship. I have so many ideas for Obanai but it's tiring to make sure its plot is not repeating. But I hope you enjoy this one!

Would you choose the Moon that was in your darkest time, or the Sun that brightened the whole world you lived in?

_____________________________

Ever since I was born, I was taught how cruel the world can be. Born from a family of broken people, I was raised to close my emotions.

To be the master of it before it became my reason of failure.

I remained detach to the people around me, maintain the acquaintance nature with them.

Until I met him at the age of 13.

Someone who was scared of me the first time we met.

"Please calm down. I won't harm you" I tried to soften my voice down to calm the boy brought by the Flame Hashira, Rengoku Shinjuro.

Kanae-san assigned him to me since we were at the same age and she is still helping out the injured ones from a mission.

She saw me as the only suitable person to tend him.

I set down the kit I was holding as I gave him a side glance who was looking at me warily.

I walked towards the window with a sigh and opened it to let the fresh breeze of the day in.

In hopes that he won't suffocate with my presence.

This was the first time I felt clueless about a situation. I really don't know how to act next.

My first hesitation...

If I approach him now or try to make him lower his guard on me, it could start a fragile relationship between the two of us.

The actions I thought wouldn't help our situation at all.

If Kanae-san was the one doing it, with her good personality, he would trust her.

But I don't know how to show kindness to a person who was violated by his own family.

He has his own traumas, his own fear. And if I directly confront those, it would break the communication between us that haven't even started.

I looked around the room as I looked for something that could relax him.

"Where is Rengoku-san?" I heard him mutter under his breath that made me turn my head to look at him.

Thank goodness he started the conversation first.

"Rengoku-san is preparing for another mission" I answered his question before I took a book from one of the shelves.

It might help him escape from the reality he experienced.

"If you don't mind me asking, do you love reading?" I ask him without my usual monotone voice so I can quickly heal him.

I need to finish this...

He slowly shook his head that made me nod before offering him the book I took.

"Well this might be one of the times you will need it" I offered it to him as I saw how his gaze fell on it.

"I don't know how to"

It felt like my world stopped when I heard those words from him.

The time I finally found a crack on his walls...

I didn't realize how my eyes shone from his words before a smile lifted from my lips.

"Let me teach you then. So you know a way you can escape the world we live in."

Reading a book that was never connected to the real world can heal and change his perspective about the society we lived in.

It was supposed to be a way to get him comfortable with me in just one moment.

I never knew I would cherish it on my entire life.

That day was the first time I gave effort on communicating with someone. The first time I forgot my fears that I might experience the more I continue my actions.

The first time I really stayed for someone else's comfort.

Ever since that time, there was no day I didn't visit him in his room as he slowly healed from my guidance.

Mostly everyone knew how important he was for me.

The first person I opened my heart with.

"Iguro, open your arms like this" I showed it my arms that were wide open like it was welcoming a hug.

He sighed knowing where this would lead to and he didn't hesitate opening his arms to embrace my form.

"Thank you" I whispered as I basked in the warmth of his embrace.

He never fails to silently comfort me on my lowest. When everything became overwhelming when I started to change for him.

From a nonchalant person to a caring one.

Most of the people in the Demon Slayer Corps were shocked by the change that happened when he entered my life.

Even me...

He is not aware of the effect he had on me.

But maybe because of my happiness that I became a light to someone's life. I became someone valuable to their life because I chose to be kind.

When I didn't push anyone nor question what hurt them.

It made me love myself. It made me yearn for the happiness I should experience because I deserved it.

I thought I deserved it.

Until he became a hashira, that became the beginning of our bond that was slowly breaking.

The time he became strict with my practice, the more he wanted me to push myself to my limits so I can become stronger.

For the reasons I never knew.

The times when I saw his tired gaze on mine. When I sometime sense him almost giving up on me.

It continues to ruin me.

I never really wished to become a fighter, but I chose to, so I can be beside him.

So I can keep reminding him that I was still beside him.

But the more our strength became different, the more I felt him slowly slipping from my grip.

I don't want to lose him...

Because I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it.

I train everyday so I can reach his expectations. Yet there is one thing I am afraid the most...

And that is when the time will come he would see me differently than before if I failed his expectations he set for me.

My father's words of not letting anyone change me was ignored knowing that if I don't experience this challenges...

If I keep running away from it, I would never gain anything.

That's what I keep telling myself so I can continue everyday.

Until she entered his life that I noticed I was not that someone significant to his life compared to him in my life.

Mitsuri Kanroji, the first person that introduced me to the emotion called 'jealousy'.

Almost 7 years of my growing affection for the serpent Hashira, without any effort, she managed to catch his eyes because of her extraordinary strength.

The thing he wants me to have.

It made me so wary of her that I didn't notice the toxic personality I had would be shown to her.

Yet her kindness made me doubt myself more. Knowing him, he would never like my treatment for her.

So I just ignored her.

But the more my insecurities show up, the more I notice his presence disappearing from my life.

That I always saw him with her.

The time I already knew that I was the one who lost him.

The first man who made me cry for so many nights. The first man who made me love myself...

And the first person who made me hate it.

If I let myself experience the hardships of life, there can be a chance I can become someone strong like he is.

If I just didn't cower, if I just got out of my comfort zone, I could become a better version of the person than who I am now.

No matter how much I tried to look for him, to approach him. The thought that I would ruin his moment with her halt me from my actions.

That the bond I was trying to save by myself, was finally drowning.

From being his friend, to becoming someone who gazed at him from far away.

I started to notice his treatment on her compared to others.

She was the only exception from his strict and merciless personality. Because even I, experienced it.

The more I saw the difference between me and her, the more my mental health deteriorated.

The main reason I started to become more distant to him, until my mere presence completely became like a wind.

The reason I started to question my real worth to the people around me. To the people I tried to not connect with because I already have him.

So this is what my life was before he entered it. It was really lonely...

I felt a tear fall from my eyes as I stood on top of the hill as I gazed at the headquarters I lived my whole life with.

Having this moment, it made me question if I regret letting him enter my heart. Because if I didn't, I would never cry for something I already expected.

My Father told me how difficult to overcome the first heartbreak.

It was indeed difficult.

It felt like my air was cut off as my chest tighten from overthinking.

But am I really overthinking?

I can hear my harbored breaths as I try to stop the feeling of agony from consuming me.

The torment I made myself experience, the suffering I knew I would feel the moment I soften up to someone else.

This is the thing I feared the most.

That my mind will become my own enemy.

I really shouldn't have...

I regret-

"Y/n?" I felt my body went numb the moment I heard him behind me.

After a year of being distant to him, my destiny let me confront the person I have been avoiding.

Is this one way of improving?

Is this the moment I need to overcome this obstacle so I can learn?

I didn't know it would be difficult.

I can't even find the strength to face him. After I finally manage to set my mind in one thing, I let the cold breeze of the night dried my tears before I manage to face him.

His gaze greatly reminded me of my old self.

The one who always held a blank stare. Something that would be difficult for the other person to interpret the emotions hidden beneath those eyes.

What is it?

That's one thing I want to let out of those very moment but I didn't manage.

I want to stay away from him so it would hurt less.

But my movement completely did the opposite that I found myself walking toward his direction as I just let my head rest on his shoulder.

Our surrounding were silent as he can't find the words to express what is currently happening right now.

Even I don't know why I did it. But I just needed something, a comfort so I can find the strength to walk away.

But thinking about 'comfort', I felt myself stain his haori as my tears I am trying to hide finally fell.

Yet I didn't let out a sound.

I just let the tears express the emotion I am feeling right now.

It hurts...

It really does...

I felt his hand slowly raise to gently caress my hair that made me snuggle deeper in his shoulder. My actions made him put his hand on my head to keep me still.

"What's wrong?" He ask in a whisper that made me want to just broke down sobbing.

Why am I crying? Do I have the rights to even cry for my one-sided love at him?

"Y/n" he called for my name again when he notice my body was staring to tremble as I try to prevent my cries from being heard.

"I don't know why I love you" I cried out as I pulled away and covered my face with my palm.

"I want to remove those feelings for you because it hurts" I continue as I tried my best to breath.

"I don't want to keep loving you"

"Y/n"

I remove my hands from my face as I let the tears freely fall on my cheeks as I put my eyes on our surrounding, except for him.

Because I can't face him.

"She is perfect for you. You both look so perfect that made me almost forget I used to be there. I was the one who used to be beside you" I stated between quick inhales like I was barely able to breath.

"I just wish for our memories to disappear like bubble so it wouldn't hurt-" I put my hands on my head in frustration as I uttered those words but I felt his hands on top of mine when he heard me let out those words.

"Y/n please"

"Why do you need to abandon me!" I cried out as I can't keep to myself the feeling I felt for almost a year.

Those days made me feel so lonely and useless. It showed me how much I reached in life.

"I..." I trailed off as I felt him pull my body towards him as he surrounded his haori on my trembling body.

"I felt so lonely" I sobbed out as I felt his arms around me tighten as he just let me cry on his shoulders.

"I never wished to be somebody else until you chose her" I keep letting out the thoughts that keep repeating in my head on those periods of time. The thoughts that ruined the love I have for myself.

"I'm trying my best, I really am" I whispered as he tightened his arms around me.

"You have no idea..."

He shushed me down when we both started to notice how my words are getting more breathless the more I talk.

"Deep breaths"

I clutch my eyes shut as I felt it sting a little. I finally snuggled myself more on his embrace as I tried to control my emotions.

"Is this friendship, still surviving?" I ask him as I look at his own eyes that made him lean his forehead on mine.

"Of course. More than you thought"

~•°•~

"Did you really leave me?" I asked him the question that needed an answer while I stared at his back as he looked at the scenery from my window.

"No"

"But ever since she arrived, I can't remember any day that you were with me"

My body felt more relaxed now but the slight feeling of numbness on my chest is still present as I found him making his way over to my bed.

"I'm sorry" he sat beside me as he pulled my head to rest on his shoulder.

"I was not aware of how wrong I treated you" he mumbled as my eyes softened from his words.

"I wanted you to learn to protect yourself. I didn't mean to make you measure your worth just because of my expectations."

I felt Kaburamaru slither around my neck as his owner ran his fingers on my hair to soothe my emotions down.

"I was not confident that I could protect you. I'm sorry that I pressured you into something that is not your forte."

I removed my head from his shoulder as I lay down on my bed when the fatigue, physically and mentally, finally entered my system.

"But why didn't you spend time with me anymore?" I asked him as I put my hand above his own ones as I heard him sigh.

"Hashira has tight schedules. We always need to train and go to missions. When I saw you cry while I was training you, I decided to not continue and let you do the usual things you did before"

He started as I saw him look over to me. I felt him squeeze my hand that made me look up to him with my drowsy eyes.

"I didn't manage to make time for you"

I heard how his voice broke from that sentence as he give a quick grip on my hand before letting it loose.

"Mitsuri is a hashira so I need to be with her. But of course, that can't be my reason, right?" He looks over to me as I lift a small smile, urging him to continue.

"But she was the only one willing to be in my presence and I let her. I started to miss you but I can't find you anywhere. And if I did, you are urgently helping shinobu at the mansion"

"Maybe that's why I treated her less harshly than the others" he sighed out.

"But it doesn't mean I love her like how I love you" I felt my chest warmed from his words that I almost forgot what I went through.

But I need more reasons. And without being told on, he keeps going. He is not defending himself, he was simply expressing because he knows I would understand him.

"It was my fault that I made you feel that way. It dawned on me that I really don't know you" he whispered as I saw how his eyes softened.

"I never had someone cherish me more than themself"

A tear fell from his eyes as he wiped it before gazing at me.

"Give me another chance to treat you right. I promise, I'll be better"

I sat up on the bed as I rested my chin on his shoulder. "Did you romantically like her?"

"No" he answered without any hesitation that made me wrap my arms around his waist.

"Even if I did, she would just remind me of you. After all, you were the one I was scared to lose"

"I'm sorry" he mumbled that made me lift a small smile on my lips.

"Make time for me please. Being a Hashira made you lose time for me" I uttered as he wrapped his arm around my waist before pulling me closer to him.

"I will give you my time" he assured me that made me smile and land a quick peck on his cheeks before I laid down again.

"Stay with me tonight. I want to cherish this moment with you" I told him that made him let out a small smile, based from his eyes before I pull him to my bed and he wasted no time to wrap his arms around me.

I am finally back at his arms again...

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keruimi · 2 months

Text

Only You

Obanai Iguro x Princess! Reader

Warning: Slight Angst and a little bit of spoilers and ooc.

Note: Obanai is really my favorite character so I'm giving him a lot of comfort fanfic to quench the pain I felt for his story. Early apologies if he is a little ooc. Y'all, he needs more love!

Words: 617 words

So this is what it feels like to be deeply loved by someone? That you feel like they would stay even if the world didn't.

_____________________________

All my life, I never feel anything for myself other than hatred for the reasons that was not even my fault to begin with. So how come...

How can a princess love me?

A person loved by the whole Empire, falls in love with tainted blood like me. She was the epitome of beauty, elegance, and perfection. While I am a flawed person. A simple man, who came from a family whose luxury came from sins.

But I want her...

I want to keep her, I want to love her like she did but... The guilt would always stay with me.

She can't end up with a man like me. Someone who can't even have the will to love themselves. How can she make sure I can give the same feelings she held for me?

Our worlds are too different. Our social standings are too far away. I am not worth it. This love is not worth it.

Then what is she fighting for? What is she trying to reason?

There are too many obstacles before we reach our happy ending. I don't want to be the reason for her ruined character.

She was perfect, while I have a lot of imperfections.

She was pure, I was tainted with the crimes of the blood flowing within me.

"Obanai-"

"Your Highness" I cut her off as I didn't bother looking at her but there is no denying the discomfort and disbelief that is etched on my expression.

Why is loving feels like a dream but at the same time, a nightmare.

"I can't..." I finally had the will to mutter the words I hesitated to speak out.

"Hear me out" I heard her gentle voice as she took a hold of my arm.

"Why can't you understand?" I whispered, struggling to keep my emotions in control.

"We can't be together" I continued my words as I clenched my eyes shut and fisted my hand.

I am not deserving of anyone's love.

That's why I chose my duty above everything. Love was never my priority.

Seeking the emotion I never felt before was never my dream.

"Your Highness-" I felt my next words got stuck in my throat when I saw the woman respected by many...

Kneel in front of me, she tightly clutch the hem of my haori as she look down at the grass below us.

"Can you at least give me even an ounce of love?"

Without a second thought, I kneel in front of her as she took a hold of both my arms as she seems that she badly wants to cry.

"Please, at least give it a chance" she begged as I took a deep breath to compose myself before shaking my head.

"I really can't, your Highness. Please, don't give your heart to someone it shouldn't belong to" I told her as she punched my chest in anger but I didn't feel any pain at all as her sobs slowly broke out from her lips.

"Who do you think you are to tell me it shouldn't belong to you?"

"My heart seeks for you and only you"

I felt my eyes soften on her words as the tears I desperately tried to keep from my eyes, finally overflowed.

"I would keep choosing you no matter how many times you push my away. It would only be you"

I tightly clench my eyes until I can't hold myself back and took her in my arms as she muffled her sobs on my chest.

I can't...

I don't want to push her away...

"I am willing to risk everything"

Just for me

#kimetsu no yaiba #love #demon slayer #hashira x reader #kny #kny hashira #spotify #kny fanfic #comfort #demon slayer obanai #kny obanai #obanai iguro x reader #obanai x reader #obanai iguro #demon slayer iguro #iguro x reader #iguro #kny iguro #Spotify

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keruimi · 2 months

Text

DEMON SLAYER MASTERLIST

My first thoughts before I started to write about them, if I can't find the angst and comfort after that heartbreaking ending, I'll do it myself!

🤍 Comfort/ Fluff

💔 Angst

🖤 Sad Ending

💛 Happy Ending

_____________________________

Scenarios

My Saving Grace 🤍 [Sanemi, Obanai, Giyu]

Hashiras Shots

Giyu Tomioka

The Strongest 💔

Muichiro Tokito

His Lost Love 🤍💔💛

Found You 💔💛

Obanai Iguro

Found Myself Because of Her 🤍💔💛

Only You 🤍💔

His Only Exception 💔🤍

Sanemi Shinazugawa

The Way Back to Him 🤍💔💛

Tengen Uzui

Her Past with Him💔🖤

To Be Worthy of Someone🤍💔💛

_____________________________

DEMONS SHOTS

Akaza

Her World 💔🖤

_____________________________

Back to the Main Masterlist

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keruimi · 2 months

Text

Found You

Muichiro Tokito x reader

Warning: Angst but have a proper ending

Note: I notice that my most favored post is Muichiro's oneshot. So I made another one, I hope you enjoyed it

And all along, I believed I would find you. Time has brought your heart to me.

I have loved you

__________________

"Muichiro" I heard Kyojuro-san call for me as I was standing at the engawa of the Ubuyashiki's household.

The other pillars were celebrating inside as I decided to be alone for a while until the Flame Hashira looked for me when he noticed my presence is not with them.

Both of us were silent as I didn't even bother glancing at him.

My heart always feels heavy so talking to anyone wouldn't make it better if they can't grant it.

"It's been 7 years kiddo. You need to move on" I heard him as he sat on the edge of the Engawa that made me stare at him.

He tapped the place beside him as he looked back at me.

I silently sat down on that place and he already had his arms resting on my shoulder.

"Your mind and heart should not always be on her. You have yourself too"

"I can't" I muttered as I felt my eyes started to sting a little as my memories with her keep flashing in my mind.

"She was..." I trailed off as I saw my imagination on her sitting down on the grass as the moon gracefully highlighted her existence.

For my vision, she was the angel that God sent to me.

So why did we end up that way?

Her fading silhouette disappeared in front of me as I swallowed the lump on my throat.

"She was the only one I have"

"And she left, kid. There are really times in our life that the heavens above would send to teach us a lesson and that lesson you learned can be found on someone else" he advised me as he pat my back.

I look down and I can't help but fisted my hands on his words.

"What if I want her to be my everything?"

"Then that's dangerous" he exclaimed before he stared at me.

I felt the tears in my eyes slowly build up as a small smile lifted from my lips on his words.

"You told me.." I breathlessly whisper as I started to have a hard time speaking knowing my next words would make me break down sobbing.

"You told me to set my heart ablaze. Go beyond my limits. Follow my dreams"

Tears started to slide down from my cheeks as I looked up as his facade softened when he saw my state.

"I did what you told me and in exchange..." I started to heave breaths as he ran his hand on my back in an attempt to comfort me.

"In exchange, she left me" I breathlessly let out as he brought my head to his shoulder to help me silence my cries.

I miss her...

I miss her so badly.

"Why is it so painful when I set her free. She was the only one I had when I lost my twin. Why didn't she stay with me" I continue crying as he let me rant the painful words I didn't manage to say to her.

"Why did she deprive me of the explanation I needed. She knew I only have her, she clearly knew that"

My body trembled in anger that would die down the moment I remember my moments with her.

But for now, I can't take it anymore.

"Kid, listen to me" he pulled away before he tapped my arms in a way to get my attention.

"Some people are meant to stay for a while even if we want them to stay forever"

My heart broke more on his words as I can't prevent my sobs from being drowned down.

"You followed your dreams. You love and that's not wrong. But for me kiddo, you need someone better. Someone who would support your dream of protecting the world. Someone who would stick beside you no matter how cruel the destiny you will face. True love is about staying even if there are reasons to leave"

I wiped my tears using my trembling hands as I looked up to him.

"But I always wanted her"

~•°•~

"Chiro" I heard her voice behind me that made me look up and saw her bring food for me and my brother.

She is one of the girls in the village who started to look after me and my brother after my parents died.

She didn't say her reasons but her happiness with us was unexplainable.

Even my brother can't help but soften up with her.

She is the one who put an ointment with the scratches on my arms and always tried her best to get along with my brother.

I overcame my parents death because of her.

She put colors back in my dull world. She helped me manage my brother's anger.

She made the world more bearable.

Until everything fell apart when my brother died due to the injuries the demon inflicted on him.

I almost died too if she didn't immediately call for help.

She helped me survive because of her gut feeling. It broke me when I barely even remembered her the moment I woke up but she didn't hold any hatred against it.

She still stayed as I trained myself to become stronger, to become a better defender.

Because I won't make it if I lose her too.

I train myself to protect her from the cruel challenges that the world will give to her.

But I didn't know she was slowly drifting farther away from me.

That one day, she suddenly burst her real feelings to the new me.

The new me who became a hashira, to help me ease the deep hatred I had for the demons even if I forgot my reason is to avenge my brother.

"I don't want you to become a slayer!" She shouted that loud and clear. That I could hear the fear and disappointment in her tone that broke my heart further.

"I did this to protect you"

"No!" She snapped back as tears filled her own eyes. "You can't risk your life in a battle"

"Y/n" I softly called out for her as I took a hold of her cheek but she didn't want to look me in the eyes at all.

"I'm doing this, so I can protect the people I love" I muttered as she slapped my hands away from her.

"How about yourself? Did you ever think of your life at least? Why do you always need to look for others!" She shouted as anger filled her eyes that made me step back.

It finally dawned to me that she has the same mindset as my brother.

I wanted to become a sword man because I want to protect the people. My brother thought I was useless for it, and she...

She think I would let myself die on the battlefield.

With my heart burning with hatred, I would not let myself die as long as the demons are not annihilated from this world.

"Y/n" I pulled her to an embrace as she tried to remove herself from my grasp.

"I need this to protect you"

"You don't. If you really think I would like this then let me tell you. I really don't!" She shouted as I could feel her hitting my chest but I refused to let her go.

"Why do you need to end up in this fate"

I felt my world stop the moment she weakly uttered those words.

"I ask for help from the wrong people" I pulled away from her as my own eyes reflect my disbelief on her words.

"Y/n"

It sounded like she regretted everything. Just because I chose to become a fighter?

"I hate you!"

Those dreadful words were the last thing I heard as she turned her back from me and walked away.

My feet were frozen and I couldn't even run to catch her.

I can, but I don't have the right words to make her stay.

What was I supposed to do?

Who am I supposed to be just to make her stay in my life.

That day...

I felt like I was really alone in this world.

~•°•~

It's been seven years ever since my family moved to the countryside for a more peaceful life where the village is in harmony and has not been attacked by demons at all.

A place where demons never existed.

Most of the time I thought of that sentence, it only reminds me of the person I decided to leave.

Cruel or not but I did it for myself.

I just can't handle the path he chose for his self.

My thoughts were snap when I remember what I was doing.

I was praying for his own safety.

I looked up and saw the kamidana as I put down my offering before clasping my hands together.

"I pray for his safety"

Even if I left him, even if he thinks I hated him, in the end, I would want him to continue living even if I was not there.

I couldn't accept his dream so I left hoping that he could reach it without me.

Because I know I can't support him knowing he is putting his life at risk.

I don't want to lose someone important to me again.

So cruel or not, I left early so it won't be that painful anymore.

I kowtow in front of the Kamidana before I looked outside the window and the moon started to rise.

How can the night be this peaceful and beautiful but dangerous.

I didn't think of anything anymore as I started to head my way back to my room.

I felt the cold breeze in my room as I noticed that the windows were open. I went outside so I can think better about the choices I made in my life.

One of them was the choice of leaving him.

There are no days I didn't berate myself for it.

It was selfish, because I wanted to lessen the pain and just left him hanging after he lost his family.

But at the same time, isn't it better?

He could follow his dream and at the same time, meet a better woman.

In his story, I am just a side character he shouldn't protect.

Because in the end, I would keep choosing myself.

I sigh as I embrace the coldness of the night as I gaze at the stars above.

I was just a stepping stone for him to be stronger. His reason, but should never be his first choice.

I want him to put himself first before others, before me.

"Yuichiro, I hope you're guiding him" I whispered as I felt my chest tighten.

Seven years, and I still remember both of them no matter how our destiny lined up.

I am still trying to unbind the tangled paths in front of me. The path of my life that I wanted to live peacefully.

I wanted a chosen destiny where I can be happy.

A Fate that wouldn't revolve around him.

My blood turm cold when I hear my mother scream outside my room. Without thinking further, I ran towards her direction and saw blood across the kitchen floor.

My father was holding a sword as the demon had his hand on my mother's neck.

I felt my hands shook in fear as I saw the terror in my parents'eyes.

I put a finger on my lips when my father was about to call my name.

Without a second thought, I took a knife and cut myself on the wrist and finally heard my father calling my name.

"You blood lust monster! I have the blood you wanted" I felt my voice lowered as I said those words.

No matter what, I won't let myself die in this situation.

The demon turned his head on my way and saw his face that almost looked like a zombie.

My body was trembling but I know, I need to stay calm.

"Leave... My mother... Alone" I stated those words with a cold tone as I keep my eye contact with him.

When he let my mother down the floor, I started to step back.

"Dad, I know what I need to do. Just stay with mom" I uttered those words as I keep my eyes on the demon who took a step forward as I step back.

On the side, I saw my father's silhouette embrace my mom's before I opened the door and made a run outside.

I can hear the quick footsteps of the demon beside me as I see the village. There are bodies on the ground as I realized there are more than one demon here.

"I have marechi blood!" I shouted like a lunatic in hopes to get the attention of the demons that attacked the village.

And I did

Knowing the selfish nature of these creatures, they would fight with each other for my blood.

I took the sword of one of the bodies and realized they were from the demon slayer corps.

These people were his peers.

I removed that from my mind when they started to run towards me while others fought with each other.

I slashed the neck of the other demons with all the strength I've got but it was not enough.

One demon manages to take a hold of the edge of the sword before pulling it away from me by force and knowing one of the wrists has a wound.

It started to sting in pain. I hissed as I fell forward to the ground.

My fears were gone the moment the pain settled into my system as I took a hold of my bleeding wrist to stop the blood from flowing.

They just growl when I do that.

Well as long as they are far away from the village, I can make it.

As long as I find a way.

But not even a minute passed by, a demon pounced on me with its fangs shown.

I thought I was going to die at that moment.

If it weren't for a sudden figure who showed up behind me and kicked the demon away from me.

He took his sword out and I immediately recognized the words written on his sword.

'Destroyer of Demons'

I felt my heartbeat quicken when It finally dawned on me the pale turquoise color at the end of their long hair as they easily killed the demons that surround us.

With their back facing me, I can only hear the wind and the sound of insects across the forest.

The figure in front of me finally turned in my direction and I knew...

I knew my destiny is tangled with his again.

His blank gaze slowly softened when his eyes laid on me. A look of relief crossed on his ways as he took strides towards me.

"Y/n" I heard his voice tremble when he called my name as tears built up on my eyes.

"I finally found you"

The happiness and relief on his tone was recognizable as he pulled me into an embrace, hiding his displayed emotions on my shoulders.

I felt my clothes started to get wet and I realized he was crying.

"Mui" His arms grip around me as I feel my chest tighten. The pain...

It was clear to both of us.

It was really clear that no one wanted to be away from each other. All those years because of selfishness, we went through the feeling of longing and heartbreak.

The Selfish I chose for myself. A choice that should be a fuel to his hatred for me.

So he can forget about me...

Yet the emotion I expected him to give me the moment we meet again, was nowhere to be found.

It was simply happiness when he found me.

It made me realize the precious someone I have abandoned that made me have the urge to embrace him like he did.

In the end,

I can't completely remove the feelings that have slowly built up within me

The truth is...

I just don't want him to die on me...

#kimetsu no yaiba #love #demon slayer #hashira x reader #kny #kny hashira #kny fanfic #comfort #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #demon slayer muichiro #kny muichiro #muichiro x reader #muichiro tokito #kimetsu muichiro #muichiro tokito x reader #demon slayer tokito #tokito x reader #Spotify

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keruimi · 3 months

Text

The Strongest

Giyu Tomioka x villain!reader

Warning: Angst, Death, and Hanahaki Disease

Note: I would fix it tomorrow because I'm really sleepy now🥹 i'm sure you can take this angst. I swear

~•°•~

How heartless can he hold in just for the sake of justice?

________________

I don't know when it happened when I caught a glimpse of a certain man with black hair and blue eyes that gazes so deep that I feel like I was drowning.

It started on one buzzing night in the entertainment district when he bumped in to me.

It was not intentional. When I look back at him and saw he didn't even bother glancing back.

He just didn't notice me

I remember how he talked with other women but wouldn't even bat an eye on me, the woman who every man wanted.

You can say the common cliche that he is not like other man. But the more I feel intrigue at him, the more I lower my walls.

The more insulted I felt, the more I focused my attention on him...

There are times when I approach him just to make him desperate with me. But the fact that my seduction always ends up in a small smile of amusement.

My pride was ruined and the night passed by with us ending the same thing like its a common occurrence in our life.

Then I started to notice that he always just visited, but never slept with the prostitutes, made me think of his true intentions.

No matter how much I doubt who he was, the more I unconsciously trap myself with the emotion called 'love'.

I lowered my guard down when I couldn't truly know who he was. He became a simple civilian, blending with the crowd that made me thought, why am I so hesitant to approach him.

Why am I so wary of him?

His silence, his rare smiles make me crave more for it.

Until one night, I managed to cross paths with him in the middle of the eerie night after I finished my mission.

I saw him outside the district leaning on a tree with his eyes closed that made me think how he can be so stupid about the danger around him.

"Sir?" I approached him and within a second, I saw his dark blue eyes again.

It really reminds me how much I am falling deeper in those eyes of his.

I heard him hum that made my heart skip a beat, and I knew I was slowly walking to the trap where I can ruin myself because of a weakness.

Yet...

I don't feel anything bad about him. His presence doesn't feel like he has a malicious intent when he just suddenly enters my mind without my consent.

I really started to look for him.

"It's a cold night. Why are you outside?" I ask him as I walk closer to him that makes him stand up properly.

"Don't you know how dangerous the outside world is? Especially at night?" I ask with a playful smile while looking up at him.

"For a woman like you, it's brave for you to tell me that"

Those were his first words and I knew... We would get along better than I expected.

I saw him approach me before he draped his coat on my shoulder and I felt my heart warmed on his gesture that I unknowingly clutch the cloth around my smaller figure.

He was the gentleman I have never met in my whole life.

He always joined my playful teasing every time I saw him and even though we don't end up in a room, it always loses my focus on the world around me.

It felt like with just one word, he can have all my attention.

And I didn't mind that.

Not when he keeps entering my thoughts anywhere, I just can't get him off my head.

Not even Daki noticed the change in me. Just a small annoyance when I keep ranting to her about the man I like. And whenever I wanted to show him to her, I could never find him.

So I told her I'm still thinking...

I thought it was never serious, I thought I just wanted to toy with him.

But when it comes to these games, I don't think I was the one losing.

But now I feel like I can't win

I lost it when he admitted his feelings for me on the night I finally brought him to my room.

And I can't help myself feel it harder. He made me hesitate on killing him like the other men.

He was taking it slow, he was making sure I was the right person. But knowing how both of us became happier than our previous self, I knew he made a big impact on my life.

I don't want to lose him to the demons I'm helping.

So I hid him and victimized more people than usual so they would never have the thought that I was betraying them.

Until one night, when everything went downhill.

The night when I was spending time in my bedroom when I heard the usual laugh Daki had when she was on a rampage.

Then a war happened.

It was a mess, there were a lot of people eaten by fear as I ran myself away there to not get myself included.

Or I would die without a second of even staying there.

I watch the district in front of me get covered in fire and blood as it burned to the ground.

And out of nowhere, I felt a pain shot through my neck as the world turned black on my vision before I lost consciousness.

Before I found myself in a cell where there was no prisoner other than me.

That made me think if this was Muzan's but I knew it was not. Because the Demon King never thinks of second thoughts when someone commits mistakes and kills them immediately.

It was a lonely life that I spent there until a servant finally visited me. To blindfold me and took my somewhere as I tried to struggle but I felt my body was harshly thrown at the rocky surface beneath me as I felt it scratch my cheeks.

They remove the blindfold and I immediately close my eyes on the blinding light from the sun.

I was finally at the outside world again. Yet me gazing from the scenery is immediately stop when I finally notice the man in front of me who have scars on the top of his face.

He quietly gaze at me as my eyes widen recognizing who he was.

"Based from your reaction, you seem to know me" that was the first thing he stated as I didn't remove my gaze.

He gave me a pitiful smile that made my blood boil. What's so pitiful?

"You're Kagaya Ubuyashiki" I spouted with venom as the man just looked at me with a knowing gaze, the smile on his face is still present on his lips.

"So it was true" he started as he stood a bit far from me as I felt a person behind me, holding me back from attacking.

I never plan to attack him but I might if I lose my control. I winced on their tight hold before I heard the man in front of me speak again.

"How can you turn your back to your own beings?" He asked that it make me scoff and give him a cold gaze.

"What do you mean by that? That I side with the evil?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

The surrounding went silent as he took a step forward and I felt the person behind me tighten their grip on my wrist that I felt like they just broke it making me bite my lip to stop from screaming out the pain.

"You did" that was the only thing he answered to me that made me chuckle a little.

"Aren't humans evil too? Their are demons because of the evil people who treated them wrong"

"Not all demons are from a painful backstory, Y/n. Most of them just wanted to obtain their greatest desire" he cut me off as I smirked before laughing.

"Fates are too unfair for them then"

I yelp in pain when the person behind me finally breaks my bones as I want to immediately snatch my arms away from him.

"Sanemi" he called a name and I felt the hand behind me loosen a little bit that made me sigh but the pain was still evident.

He put his attention back to me as I can't help but look up to him. I feel weaker than a person who is almost dying.

"How can you have fun seeing others die before your own eyes. You, a human, who cause so much of my children to die." He finally gritted his teeth in anger as he tightened his hold on the hands of the woman beside him.

"Why did you side with the demons? With Muzan?" He finally started interrogating me as I bit the inside of my cheeks.

This is the place of the demon slayers, Muzan wouldn't be able to find me.

Right now, the only thing I know is that the demon is regretting not turning me into one.

I gave a bright smile to the man in front of me as I stated the answer to his question, "Easy, so I won't die"

My gaze turned cold when I opened it again yet he still looked composed towards me.

"Then why didn't you turn into a demon"

"I don't want to be controlled with my every move" I answered him immediately as he slightly frowned at me.

He continues questioning me and I keep answering them without any second thoughts as my mind drifts somewhere.

The time I begged Muzan to not kill me at all.

Having a Marechi blood is so dangerous so I can't help begging him to live.

Because I haven't achieved anything yet.

To convince him, I can be his eye under the sun, I can look for the flower he badly wanted so he can let me off.

It worked with a threat but I didn't care as long as I lived.

Starting from that, no demons bother to hurt me. I manage to live freely but with consequences.

No one can trust me.

With my manipulative behavior, it was real. The demons know how much of a sadist I am, made it hard for others to control me.

They don't know how I would move against them.

But I got caught.

After so much of hiding the facade of being the demon's eye. They still found out about me.

Maybe because of how many slayers I have already killed. 20? 50? I forgot how many of them.

I only thought of my own survival.

Siding with the demons made me live my life happier. Who can blame me?

There are times where we would really choose something that would make us happy instead of right.

But if I was the one who chose to be happy and he was the one who chose to do the right.

Then someone might sacrifice the other one.

And I could never sacrifice him...

But when I saw him there...

I felt my world crumble when I finally caught his form in the middle of my conversation with the leader.

He held the cold gaze I never knew.

"Giyu?"

I called out to him but he never bothered turning his head to me. I heard the man in front of me chuckle that made me snap my attention to him as I felt my pupil dilated.

I feel nervous about whatever would be coming out of his mouth. If it was the doubt I tried to ignore it before.

"I sent him to keep you at bay so we can finally finish the problem at the district"

I felt my world stop spinning as I felt annoyed by the smile he showed me.

It proudly shows off to me that for once, I fell into a trap that always kills someone.

"Love...could really be a weakness" he exclaimed in realization as I felt my heart broke more.

It felt like the eyes around me mock my very being as I clench my hand tightly.

"Lock her up as long as the demons are still roaming around this land"

And I felt my vision went black again.

That was the last time I saw him and I was back at the same cell I stayed on before.

I rethink my decisions all over again, the doubts I dismissed so easily, the gut I ignored because he was so gentle with me.

He treated me like a normal woman other than a prostitute who was entertaining him.

I never felt that cold gaze. That gaze from him that it brings shiver to my spine.

All this time...

I fell on the trap I tried my best to not fall into. But I knowingly avoid the hints, the warning, and continue further.

Because it was him I was trying to reach.

It felt like all my confidence crumbled down, it felt like my love became nothing, and it felt like my regrets slowly became my nightmare.

I shouldn't have.

I really shouldn't have!!

The heart I was trying to save all these years, fell on the person it shouldn't have belonged to.

I keep begging the people guarding me to at least let me talk to Giyu but they never spoke a word to me.

It felt like my sanity was slowly slipping away from me the longer I felt like I was by myself.

It felt like I was going crazy because of overthinking.

He didn't love me.

That was the realization that hit me when I found out he was a Hashira. A slayer who has killed so many demons even the lower moons.

He just held me back from interfering anymore knowing I was the biggest threat.

I could get information even in daylight, so they need to cage me in.

But why does it feel cruel that they used my feelings for it.

Until one day, I just started coughing petals that scared me so badly.

What is happening to me. What is happening to my body?

I was slowly getting insane and she added fuel into it.

A woman who kept taunting me. Her sarcasm, her smile.

She somehow reminds me of myself. The way I treated the people who became my victims.

In the silence of the cage, I felt the feeling that the dead people went through.

Was I that heartless?

What is really wrong for me?

I just want to give my life a meaning...

There is no day that I never felt my pride getting more ruined the more she occupied my world with her presence.

She looks carefree, but at the same time she hid her malice very well.

But somehow she can't harm me. Maybe because I'm nearing on harming my own self the longer I was deprived of explanation from the person I started to love.

The person I truly wanted to save from the world we live in.

I tried my best, I really did. But can I do anything about it when the demon can easily find me anywhere?

I would get insane if I lived for more than a hundred years alone.

I just want to be with someone, a duty to do in this world.

But... Everything around me all crumbled down.

"Aren't you the younger sister of the one who died in the hands of Douma?" I immediately felt a hand on my neck that made me cough more petals.

She immediately removed herself from me as I coughed more out of my own mouth.

I heard her sneered in front of me when she saw it.

"You're in the process of dying yet you have the guts to disrespect my sister"

I laughed when I really hit a nerve on her as I leaned on the cold wall behind me.

"You annoyed me first"

I whispered as she gave me a deadly gaze, yet I didn't feel scared.

Not even one bit.

"You're dying and you won't even see your loved one again" she taunted and it hit me.

I know that. I was clear of that fact.

That's why maybe I was accepting death with open arms.

But the process is too painful.

I can handle it better.

I felt my eyes gloss as a smile lifted from my lips. "I know" I muttered before sighing as I felt my chest tighten in pain.

"I deserve it"

"You do" she didn't hesitate as I just closed my eyes.

This was really my ending. I never even bother to ask for an explanation anymore.

It would hurt more if I heard it coming from his own mouth. The same mouth that laugh at every moment we have, the same mouth that made me feel like I deserve to be truly happy.

That can freely control my own life. Like I deserve to live the way I wanted.

The moment I accepted everything, my condition started to worsen. In this quiet, lonely, cold dungeon, a harsh war is happening outside these walls.

That even if he hurt me so badly, even if he deprived me of explanation, and even if he made me feel so hateful.

I can't help but pray for him and his happiness. Because I can sense it.

The very reason I let my guard on him...

It was because he was lonely.

I felt tears slip from my eyes as the flowers finally came out with blood and I could never prevent it.

If I could just have given another chance to prove myself to the world, I would prove that he could completely love me without any worry that I would hurt him.

Because I would burn the whole world that pained him.

I leaned myself against the cold walls as I felt the pain all over my body.

I just want to end everything.

And the time finally came when I couldn't speak anymore as the disease took every part of my body.

The slayers sometimes glance at me but they knew they couldn't do anything.

This is the best punishment they can give me.

To die slowly and painfully, with a hazy mind.

I close my eyes as tears keep running from my eyes.

Right now, I really need someone beside me.

I really need him.

I have no one. I have so much love to myself that I want to give it to him.

But now that I can see death, it feels like, we would never see each other again. I would never get the life I wanted with him.

Because in the next life, I would be in the underworld and he will be far away for me to reach.

But, I don't have the privilege to ask for those...

I'm dying knowing the whole world would rejoice...

~•°•~

We won the battle against Muzan, I saw all of them celebrated but my mind was occupied only by one woman.

One woman that I ignored for almost a year. The last time I saw her face was last in the entertainment district.

There was a slight tug on my chest that was telling me to move but I didn't.

I don't have the heart to follow it.

She killed so many people, that was enough reason to not fall in love with her.

The moment the master assigned me on that mission, I was not scared but I was not confident either.

I just know I need to do something for the sake of many.

But the longer I spend time with her, I feel the feeling of fear in my chest all the time.

Because I started to love her playful attitude. She looks so harmless, she looks so happy.

And it scared me more.

Because I don't know if she is pulling me to her traps and playing with my mind.

But I realize, it was just her personality. Just that character, was the reason many people died.

She seems so innocent, but deadly.

That's why I don't have the heart to accept the growing feeling I had for her. That I ask the master to just finish the problem in the Entertainment district.

So I can prevent it from getting bigger. So I can stand myself up again instead of falling deeper.

But her lack of presence ruined me. I was self-destructing that I always need to convince myself that there are a lot of other women like her.

But they just reminded me of her. The person who didn't judge me at first glance. The person who did their best to even a lift a smile from me.

I was happy when I was with her. But it was just too dangerous.

"She is dying any time now" I heard Shinobu stated when she walk pass me that just made my heart clench.

I know...

I clearly know that...

"You know you could visit her. I think you have tortured yourself enough" I heard her behind me as I prevent my tears from falling.

She was a villain and will always be.

But she was the villain I started loving.

A love that should have never bloomed that day.

I covered my face in frustration as the sound of joy can be heard.

Everything is done, everything is at peace. The world would start to heal...

While I continue breaking...

~•°•~

I heard my footsteps on the path towards the underground dungeon, where she was.

I knew what would I see next, but this time, I want to give her a proper burial after she left the world.

So she would never feel the world really abandoned her.

I slowly opened the gates and saw the two slayers who was guiding her, covered her body with a cloth and I felt my heart break more.

They saw me before they bowed and left me alone on the cold room, where she lay lifelessly on the ground in front of me.

I felt tears build up on the corner of my eyes as I never bother to look at her face anymore and just touch her cheeks as a cloth separate my touch from her skin.

I quietly caress it as tears keep falling from my eyes until a sob finally escape from my lips.

I'm sorry for being heartless...

#kimetsu no yaiba #love #demon slayer #hashira x reader #kny #kny hashira #kny fanfic #kny giyuu #kny tomioka #giyuu tomioka #demon slayer giyuu #giyuu x reader #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #giyu x reader #giyu tomioka x reader #giyu tomioka #trust #Spotify

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keruimi · 3 months

Text

Found Myself Because of Her

Obanai Iguro x reader

Comfort!

Note: I just hope that this fanfic can help you realize something. Mention of self-hate, sexual assault, death, and scars. Not proof-read

__________________

When did everything start? When my eyes suddenly just started to look for her.

An unfamiliar woman that just caught my eyes during my journey to the Ubuyashiki Estate as she played with the children of the village.

The woman who I lock gazes with as she sends a smile to my way that made my heart skip a little.

It was the first time I saw her in that village that made me question my fellow Hashira who she was.

How can she have a huge effect on me?

"Oh, she was the woman you saved from the Entertainment District" Shinobu informed me as the gears on my mind started working.

"She must be strolling around the village"

Somehow, seeing her with the younger generation made me think how it feels to be near her.

Seeing the happiness of the kids she is playing with, made me curious on what kind of woman she was.

Why does that kind of woman end up in a place like the Entertainment District.

Until destiny finally let us meet again. She made a huge impact on me as her first impression was still lingering on my mind.

The happiness she showed when she met me.

I never saw someone that happy when they saw me.

"You must be Obanai-kun that Shinobu is talking about" she started as she bowed towards my direction that made me lower my head to return her greetings.

The moment she raised her head to see me, I felt my heart skip a beat.

That made me question how beautiful she is.

"Here" she handed me a book as I stared at it. "It's a book of appreciation"

Poetry...

I took the item from her hands as she properly stood up. "I never got the chance to thank you. I owe you my life"

I quietly observed the book she gave me before I brought it closer to me before giving a nod to her.

"I was just doing what I was supposed to do" I finally muttered a sentence as her eyes widened a little before she look down.

"Well at least you still did..." I heard her mutter.

I felt her gaze soften before she uttered the words I never knew I would hear for my entire life.

"You are unknowingly the writer who chose to continue my story that was already reaching its ending"

I felt silent on her words that made me feel that saving someone is indeed a big deal.

I finally felt like my actions finally had a huge impact on someone. I let out a small smile under the bandages that were covering the lower part of my face.

I saved someone...not only physically but mentally too.

That was the first encounter we had. And I silently yearn for the next one.

On the four walls of my room, I flip the pages of the book she gave me.

How can I forget... That I love reading these things.

A small smile lifted from my lips when I remembered her. There was no day that I didn't read the book that reminded me of her.

A book that comforts the person in me. It was like an eye opening for me.

Nobody is perfect.

Nobody is born as a mistake.

The person you are today is shaped by the painful past that you have lived in.

Nobody is cruel;

Nobody is completely free

From the chains of hatred they have locked themselves in.

In life, you can be at the highest peak of the mountain,

Or at the floor of the deep ocean.

But it shouldn't be a reason nor an excuse to suffocate yourself.

You are beautiful, just as you are.

Love yourself, it's never too late

It feels like, destiny is finally comforting me. That reminds me how deep my self-hatred is.

Because I look like the monster I fear when I was a kid.

How long can I fight the demons that have been living in my mind?

How long will I last?

~•°•~

"Obanai?" I heard her voice below that made me look down and just saw her smiling up to me.

"Don't you want to eat lunch with us?"

I shook my head and I didn't hear her bother me anymore. And the moment I finally went back to reality, there was already a rope on the branch above me as she pulled herself up while carrying a basket.

I just watched as she did her best to reach me.

To be close to my distant personality.

"You should eat. I'm the one who cook it" she stated as she landed in front of me and started setting up the small table and the food she brought for me.

"Take care of yourself, Obanai." She looked at me with her soft gaze. "You need it to keep going"

I felt a pinch in my heart on her words as I let out another small smile under my mask.

I'm thankful she is trying to take care of the body I am abandoning.

I whispered a small thank you before she decided to leave to give me the privacy I need as I look at the food she made.

I felt tears slowly build up in my eyes as I thought to myself...

How long will I hide the ugliest part of me?

Our path keeps meeting and I found myself watching her gracefully dance under the moonlight like a free soul that is not ruined by the world.

I felt the cold breeze as I sat on the floor of the gazebo as my thoughts went hazy again.

I want to know her more. I want to know how she learned those comforting words she never failed to utter every time we meet.

It's God, finally giving me mercy?

Is he finally willing to cure me from the past he let me experience?

The past that was still engraved on the very part of my body. The body he gave me, is it wrong for me to hate it?

"Obanai?" Her voice made me snap my train of thoughts as she walked closer to my direction.

I internally compliment how she looks good at the light yellow kimono she was wearing.

How can someone be this beautiful?

"Are you okay?" She asked me with a small frown on her face as I lifted my lips to a smile but immediately stopped as I imagined how I looked without it.

"I'm fine"

I am not...

She quietly sat beside me as we both gazed at the garden in front of us whose beauty was completely shown by the moon that illuminates its light.

I felt her giving me side glances as she was really thinking if she would ask me to let out myself.

I know that but... Maybe I just want someone to ask.

If I was really fine. I want someone to ask, if I need someone.

Because I badly needed one or I would really lose against my own insecurities.

"I was known for being Tengen's first wife" I heard her mutter that made me turn my head in her direction as she didn't remove her attention in the garden.

"No one knew who I was" she stated as a small smile lift from her lips.

She was Tengen-san's rumored first wife?

I want to know how she ends up where she is now as I properly sat on the floor.

"Tengen is a nice guy. But that alone was not enough for me to survive with his family. Because of that action I made, it ruined the relationship we both have" She continues her story as my thoughts wander again.

Tengen never mentioned her...

"Ever since that incident, there is no day I didn't endure the torture of hatred his family had when he was not beside me. But knowing we were not in good terms yet, I never mentioned it" she finally turned her head to look at me.

Her smile never faded from her lips.

"Obanai, I have scars too" it felt like our surroundings went silent when she let out those words.

It was a moment where she was sharing the most painful part of her story that was not heard.

"There are times I want to cry so badly because I won't have the same perfect body I have when it was marked on me. It was permanent damage to my body, it was a painful strike to reality."

"That's why I left him" She whispered as she let out a low chuckle before facing the garden again. Yet my eyes never left hers.

"I was burned, whipped, poisoned, and beaten. Because I killed a person, I killed one of his brothers" my eyes widened from how she states every word without any hesitation.

Is it really okay to share this with me?

"Now that you heard the reason why I experience that kind of torture, what do you think of me?"

I saw her eyes turned glossy as I felt my heart ache with her.

Burned, whipped, poisoned, and beaten everyday? If I was her, would I kill somebody too?

I wouldn't.

Because ever since I was a kid, I was scared to protect myself. I was helpless.

"I wouldn't kill someone knowing he is important to the person I love. No matter the torture I went through." I finally spoke my mind as I looked at the moon above us.

"But what if it was self-defense? What if that was the only choice so I won't get rape? Would you still blame me?" I snapped my head in her direction when I heard her words.

Rape?

"Then I can't blame you for it..." I breathlessly whispered and a smile lifted again from her face as a look of slight happiness adored her face.

"You see, we were characters of an untold story. People's opinion is based on who's telling the story. Whether we would become a hero or a villain, it was already a decision we can't decide"

I listen to every word she says.

"People's thoughts are something we can never control. So even if you're perfect just the way you are, in their eyes, you have flaws and that's okay" she turned in my direction before lifting a hand to ruffle my hair so I just lowered my head so she could reach it.

"It's okay to be quiet, it's okay to stay silent. But you should be aware when your limit is" I felt her hand lower as it reached one of my cheeks.

"I know you're experiencing your own war with yourself but remember"

"You have no one but yourself" we both stated in sync as she gave a thankful smile before caressing my cheek.

"Ourself is our worst enemy, but also our greatest ally. Never forget that"

And that night, the painful past we both have buried was opened again.

And I found comfort in the woman I never spoke too much with. I found my heart softened on the time I cherished with her.

It felt like I finally found the partner I needed to survive.

I never knew that the night could be this peaceful. It felt like the haze on my mind was finally clear.

Having the strength to look at myself again in the mirror, I slowly removed the bandages that were hiding the ugliest part of me.

I heard Kaburamaru near me as I traced the healed mark on my mouth.

"Is this really fine to show?" I muttered to myself as I looked at myself in the mirror.

Seconds passing and I already felt the fear and hatred creeping behind me as I tried my best not to look away from the mirror.

You are beautiful, just as you are.

I shut my eyes to calm myself down as I felt Kaburamaru circle himself on my wrist as I slowly opened my eyes after I calmed myself down.

The moment I looked at myself back in the mirror, I thought of a question I should have asked long ago.

"Why did I hate you?" A tear slipped from my eyes as I weakly muttered those words.

Nobody is completely free

From the chains of hatred they have locked themselves in.

"It was never our fault..."

The person you are today is shaped by the painful past that you have lived in

"How come I hated you?..."

"You have no one but yourself"

The God just harvested those sinners who have committed grave sin. Whether they died or not because of me...

It was not in our control anymore.

~•°•~

I found her sitting under the Sakura tree, seems to be sewing my haori that I forgot at the gazebo yesterday.

I walk closer to her as she looks up when she hears my footsteps. She greeted me with a smile as I kneel in front of her and sat at the heel of my foot. I watched how she went back to sewing my ripped haori.

"I never got to know your name" I decided to break the silence as a giggle pass her lips.

"Pardon me, I'm Y/n" she playfully introduces herself and manages to lift a small smile from my lips again.

"Thank you for clearing my mind yesterday" I continued and she showed me a gentle smile before tapping my cheek.

"You need it"

I felt my heart warmed from her words as I decided to sit beside her and face her direction where no one would see my face.

I want to know if she is willing to stay or leave.

"I want to show you the scar that ruined me" I whispered to her that made her tie the threads when she finished what she was doing.

She turned to face me.

"Go on" she muttered and I felt nervous if I was doing the right thing.

Noticing my hesitation, she gave me a gentle smile. "I won't leave"

Hearing her assurance, I slowly removed the bandages that were covering my face as I hid it from the world.

Her eyes never left mine as I completely removed the cover.

Please don't leave me...

Without wasting any second, I felt her hand on my cheeks as she gave a proud smile as her eyes started to turn glossy.

"You did great" she whispered and I can't help the tears that were building from the corner of my eyes, attempting to escape.

My trembling hands touch her own as she drapes my haori on my head.

"You did it"

I can't forget the happiness she felt for me and my heart chose her over and over again.

I want her to be with me. That made me ask to court her and she gladly accepted it.

She was the person my tortured soul needed.

When we became a couple, I was the happiest. I didn't care about her past anymore.

I was her present and I would make sure I would be the one with her in the future.

My relationship with her is nothing but happiness and comfort. Something I never had nor given with.

I never hesitated on going to her arms for comfort or even assurance. A side that I only show to her and only her.

It's hard to show it during the daytime with many people watching.

I also saw her scars that littered her body. Some left a mark, some completely healed.

I just found myself tracing the scars of the whip on her back as she put some cream on her body.

Both of us would love any flaw in each other's body.

And I can't ask anymore for a better partner like her.

While on the left side of her hips, the burn is found. There are bruises that have already turned darker than her skin color so it's not easy to hide it.

She was silent the whole time I observe her body. I decided to snake my arms around her waist and pull her closer to me that made her look at the mirror just to see me.

"The scars never makes you less beautiful" I softly whispered as she let a gentle smile before kissing my cheeks.

"I know..."

Our body became a book where the scars of our past are written.

Having someone like her, all my fears disappeared.

I would trade the world for her

#kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #hashira x reader #love #kny #kny fanfic #kny hashira #comfort #demon slayer obanai #obanai x reader #kny obanai #obanai iguro #obanai iguro x reader #Spotify #obanai x reader comfort #kny iguro #demon slayer iguro #iguro #iguro x reader

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keruimi · 3 months

Text

Her Past with Him

Tengen Uzui x ex wife!reader

Disclaimer: Angst. Yes another angst. A slight mention of abuse too.

Notes: I'm sorry if its cringey. I'll try to fix it after my exams 🥹 comment your thoughts, its appreciated.

Part 2

My first love was my first lesson that I was thankful for. Because of her, I manage to treat my next lover better.

__________________

It's been 7 years... Those entertaining years when I became an Oiran at such a young age.

After divorcing my husband at the age of 14.

"My Lady, we're finished" I heard one of the servant ladies as I took a tissue so I could avoid my lips from smudging more.

"I should entertain my loyal guests then" I said with a sweet smile on my lips before standing up with the help of one of the girls.

On my way to the room where my clients are waiting. I met Oiran Warabihime that made me greet her.

"Greetings to you, my fellow Oiran" I greeted her as she gave me those fake smiles that made me want to annoy her more.

"You still have clients? It seems like they never got tired of you" I spoke first.

She opened her eyes and I immediately saw the deadly glint on her eyes that made me send a sweet smile to her.

"Well, they can't resist me now? Some of them are my loyal customers. Most of them said that I'm still the favorite and the greatest one in this district." She uttered with a smile that made me open my fan to cover the lower part of my face.

"Is that so? I only see a woman who enjoys polyamory" my eyes close due to my smile but I felt her smile lowered a little.

"What an irony!" She laughed like I was telling a joke as she passed me and at the exact time, I felt a sharp pain in my arm.

"Aren't you the same?" She whispered to me as I remained calm but I wanted to glare at her so badly.

She ruined my clothes! Let's just say the sleeves but still.

She left without any other words that made me huff before ordering a servant to get me a sewing kit as I took my handkerchief to stop the bleeding.

But I saw a silk that looks like Oiran Warabihime sash. I smirk when I saw it before I grip on it and give it to one of the servants who was beside me.

"Burned it now"

"But my Lady..." She hesitated knowing it came from her but I just gave her a gentle smile. "I don't need it"

~•°•~

I heard the applause of my audience before I left the room knowing I earned a lot today.

As always...

Because of the work I choose, I manage to afford my materialistic desires.

But it was not enough.

I was quietly walking the hallways before I gasped when someone pulled me in a room.

I quickly took one of my hair pins and would turn to swing it on the person but my hands were pinned on the wall behind me as I familiarized the silhouette of a man in front of me, dangerously close to me.

"Tengen!" I gasped out as he stared at me in a serious gaze that made me wonder what I did wrong.

"I sense a faint aura of the demon on you" he exclaimed without wasting any time.

Demon?

I went quiet at that time thinking of any encounters today with anyone. I didn't sense it.

But I hissed when a pain shot from my arm that made me snatch my hands from him that made me realize.

Her...

"Oh maybe I did..." I muttered before laughing quietly. I accidentally put myself in danger tonight.

I surprise him by pushing his body to the ground as I sat on his lap. "Thank you for informing me. Now I need you to stay with me tonight"

There was underlying fear in my tone and it seems like he can't help stare at my face.

"You did"

He stated the obvious before I traced his face with my finger as a small smile lifted from my lips.

"I kind of annoyed her so she might come for me" I explained as I took one of his arms before putting it around my waist.

"Y/n"

"Please?" I begged him but he just sighed and removed his hand from my body but he still let me sit on him.

"I already have wives. You should know your limits, right?"

I felt my energy disappear as I nod my head before I removed my hands from the hem of his clothes.

"You're here for them right?" I exclaimed as I put a hand on my lips to hide how my teeth grit due to the anger building up inside me.

He focuses his gaze back at me with wide eyes, thinking I know where his wives are.

How can I forget?

I felt my eyes gloss before showing him my smile that held so much pain.

"I didn't know you had that in you. How come I never felt that?" I asked him and I saw his eyebrows knitted knowing where this conversation will end up.

"Don't go there" he warned, not wanting to dig up the past we both have.

But I took the most hit out of the both of us. If he already moved on, I can't

"I remember how you didn't even bother to save me from them"

"Stop please!" I exclaimed in pain as the Mistress kept slapping me in anger and even pulled my hair before smashing my head on the wall.

I felt blood trickle down my forehead as the only thing I can hear are the servants trying to calm her down as her hysteric cry echoes along the hallways of the manor.

"You killed my son! You murderer!" She called me the name I despised the most and I can't help but defend myself.

"He tried to take advantage of me! I didn't mean to kill him" I raised my bruised body from the wooden floor but I cried out in pain when she landed a kick on my stomach that made me hold on it.

"You went too far! I will not forgive you for this!"

"Mom, what happened?" I heard the voice of my husband as I finally let myself lay on the floor to ease the pain my whole body is going through.

I thought he would understand, but that event took a huge turn in my life.

Because the moment I opened my eyes, I could not see the worry nor concern on the gaze he gave me.

It was...blank

And I knew I needed to explain my side before he thought of the wrong thing.

"Tengen, I didn't mean to kill him. I panic and... And" I frantically explained as he put down the bowl of medicine at the side table and didn't bother giving me another glance.

"You could've told me"

"You were not there"

"Then just harm him. You don't need to take his life"

I felt my heart drop on his argument as I didn't bother to go further on my explanation.

Of course he would choose his brothers over me. I was just a woman arranged for him.

But my loyalty was unwavering. The fear that I am being touched by another man clouded my vision until I didn't know what I was doing anymore.

"I just protect myself" I whimpered out but he didn't speak anymore.

That side of him was so new that the next few days felt like winter.

He didn't dare speak on my presence and I let him, because I thought he was trying to give himself a space to think about the incident.

To make up to that sin I cause, I let them hurted me so I would at least feel less guilty. I never spoke about it because the atmosphere between the two of us still cold.

But that misunderstanding was never resolved when one dinner changed my whole perspective on him.

"Tengen is almost 15 years old. We need to look for 2 more suitable partners for him"

I felt my world turn black and white when I heard those words from the head of my family as I dropped the chopsticks I was holding.

I gave a side glance to my husband who silently continue eating his food that made my chest tighten in anger and pain.

The moment we stepped inside the bedroom, I didn't even get to utter a word when he decided to completely end a conversation that hadn't started.

"Y/n, let's not talk about this" he easily shrugged that but for me, it was a huge deal.

He was my husband, he was only supposed to be mine!

I can't help myself as tears build on my eyes before I walk towards him and deliver a harsh slap at him.

"How can you easily dismiss such issues like that? If you don't care well then I do!" I screamed as he decided to face me and I saw how his eyes softened from how I looked.

From the gaze I gave him.

I slowly started to love him because of how he respects me as a woman and how he cherishes life no matter who they are.

But how come it led to this?

"Tengen, I love you" I confessed as I hid my face using my hands before I slowly let my body fall on the ground as my sobs are the only thing we both can hear from the room.

"Y/n, I can't do anything about it. I'm completely powerless" he muttered as he crouched in front of me. I raised my head when I thought of an idea as I desperately grip on the clothes he was wearing.

"We can run away"

I lost my grip when he stood up from his position that made me look up at him who looked down at me in utter surprise.

"Y/n..."

"Tengen, don't you care for our well-being? You're clearly not happy here so why don't we run away?"

I suffered a lot too from this household. The times he was not here, I received nothing but abuse from the elders.

Because of that one incident.

If I stay longer, I would be close to my death.

Yet...

"I can't"

I can't be with him...

"Tengen..."

I felt my tears stop as I was taken back at his choice. He wants to stay in this maniac family?

"You don't want to leave?" I whispered as he sighed before kneeling in front of me as he took a hold of both my arms.

"Y/n, just be patient"

I unknowingly tighten my grip on my dress as my gaze of shock turns into disbelief.

How long do I need to endure everything.

I decided to forget my growing feelings for him as I pushed him away from me.

What is he waiting for?

Was he waiting to realize how toxic the family he love? He is completely clueless on the thoughts running in their mind!

They are willing to kill each other and he is not, because I was aware on how much he love his siblings.

But that great that he is willing to marry another wife just because of the tradition?

How about me? How about the respect he had for me as his partner?

Y/n... You don't know him...

The room was silent as I found the strength to stood up from the ground.

My family sold me off here. I never felt important if it wasn't for him.

But I feel like it starts and ends there.

I leaned my back on the wall of the room before I raised my eyes to look at him who was watching my every move.

"Do you think my feelings are a joke?" I uttered breathlessly as he walked near me but I just slapped his hands away.

"I can't believe you" I uttered in disbelief as I chuckled. "Then go and wed with them"

"Y/n"

"It's obvious that you never really cared for my well-being" I tiredly stated as I lost the will to continue fighting.

A tear slipped from my cheeks. As I hug myself to keep myself together.

"I can't believe I thought of you differently" I uttered weakly as I angrily wiped my tears.

"I want a divorce"

A tear fell unknowingly from my eyes as I was back to reality. "I suffered because my husband didn't give a damn to me"

"Y/n" he called but I just glared at him.

"I suffered so much when I became your wife, because I defend myself from the hands of your loved one for the sake of my respect to our marriage"

"You killed him. You ended a life, Y/n" He tried to contain his building anger as reasoned at me, my face shows my disbelief.

"Because I was protecting mine!" I argue back as he went quiet. My hands began to tremble.

"Because I was yours that time, Tengen. I am not theirs" I can't help but lean forward as I rest my forehead on his shoulder.

"Why can't you understand? I did that for myself. I did that for us. Because no matter if I injured or kill him, the outcome would be the same." I continued and uttered my thoughts the time I did that grave sin.

"In the end, I would still suffer in the hands of your family..." I sobbed out as I felt his hand on my back.

"I would fight for you" he breathlessly muttered at my chest tighten from his words.

"How would I know that when you treated me the same like the others? I never felt like I was your wife, someone special."

I thought of the wives he mentions now as tears continue to fall from my eyes.

"If you could have treated me the same way you did to them... I would have never left"

~•°•~

As I reunited with my three wives, I suddenly remembered the first woman who I took in.

Her life with me was still fresh on her mind that avoid her from moving on. The conversation we had, the pain was still evident from her tone and eyes.

Maybe, she indeed started to love me in just a short time than what I have thought before.

I can admit that I didn't treat her right.

She was the lesson I decided to learn. The mistake I tried to correct.

But our story has already ended 8 years ago. There is no use in going back to the past, when I have my present that would be with me in the future.

But that guilt was still present on my chest that I started to wish.

She could find a better man than me. Someone that would really treat her right compared to what I did.

~•°•~

I whimpered as my body was aching in every part as I looked at my surroundings.

It was dark...

The last thing I remember was the house collapsing.

The silence made me think of my decisions.

I made it harder for myself to move on when I started that conversation with him.

I shouldn't have...

He could never love me. I heard how he really cared for them compared to us when we were younger.

He grew up to be the person he wanted.

While I continue to live in the past I badly want to forget.

The pain was tolerable, it felt like going through hell again and it reminded me of my experience from the Uzui household.

I can handle it until they find me.

The question is...

Is anyone even looking for me?

I have no one that made me lose respect myself and become a toy to the men.

But if fate would give me another chance to try...

I felt the wooden piles on top of me being moved as I stayed still from my position.

Another chance...

A hole was finally given as I saw a man with yellow eye peek through it.

Confirming there is a person under the collapsed building, he wasted no time on removing the broken wood on top of me.

"Are you injured?" There is no worry nor care in his tone but at least he still asks me.

I tiredly shook my head as he pulled me out. The moment I did, I saw him walking away with the three girls who supported him.

The three girls that Tengen cared for.

If I could have... Care for him like they did.

Would I get a happy ending?

I felt my vision starting to turn black as the words of the man with me finally entered my ear.

"Oi, Oi"

"Try to stay conscious" I heard him as I indeed tried to keep my vision. I felt a warmth embrace me on the cold night as I was carried somewhere.

I look at the sky above me as I prayed again for a second chance.

For my next love, If I can try...

I hope it's a love that has no thorns...

#kimetsu no yaiba #love #demon slayer #kny #demon slayer fanfic #kny tengen #tengen uzui #tengen x reader #tengen uzui x reader #hashira x reader #kny hashira #sound hashira #Spotify

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keruimi · 3 months

Text

The Way Back to Him

Sanemi x reader

Warning! Heavy Angst with comfort at the end

Note: I went overboard that I'm not sure if all of you would accept the leads🥹 Early Apologies. Secondly, please inform me if Sanemi's character is too ooc. I would gladly do better next time.

~•°•~

I fell in love with the person who had a painful backstory.

__________________

"Sanemi-san, my apologies but I can't return your feelings" she muttered as I sighed and leaned my back on the wall. I notice how her grip tightens on her uniform.

"I know. Because everyone sees me as rude, it's impossible to admire my personality at all" I started before standing back up so I can walk back to my estate to rest.

"Sanemi-san, it's not like that" she exclaimed as I just looked away from her.

"Don't worry, I just want you to know about the emotions I am feeling when I'm around you. I don't expect you to return it at all" I manage to stutter out without putting most of my emotions as I saw how her eyes start to gloss.

"I..." She didn't have the heart to tell what she is thinking that made me thought to leave already.

The atmosphere is overwhelming me...

"I'll retire first" I slightly bow in her direction before turning my back at her.

"Sanemi-san!" She shouted my name that made me halt from my steps, I didn't manage to go farther yet.

Maybe because I didn't have the heart to leave her yet...

"Maybe a part of it was my reason" she stated as I felt her quick breaths while I just looked at the empty road in front of me.

"But I don't know you better than you did. I don't know your story" I felt my chest tighten on her words.

"So forgive me if I can't tolerate your impulsive and abrasive attitude that you displayed to all of us"

I turn my body to the side so I can glance at her who is looking down while trying to get a hold of herself.

"If I did..." I trailed off that made her raise her head to look at me who is facing her.

If I did...

There's a huge possibility that she would see me in a different way than the world did.

But...

"Nevermind" I didn't continue anymore before making my way back to my estate as I left the atmosphere in silence.

There is still that slight chance that she wouldn't.

Storytelling would just open their eyes to your perspective. But it wouldn't bring them the same reasons why you did it.

I need physical evidence... An evidence that can prove my love to her.

But I don't know how I can show those emotions without losing the walls I build around myself.

The walls I used to prevent myself from forgetting her.

I arrived back home and my brother decided to ruin my eardrums for the third time today.

"You confessed again! Stop fooling yourself!" He screamed and an irk mark appeared on my forehead.

"Why don't you shut up you idiot!" I screamed back at him as I harshly threw a pillow in his direction before slumping back down on the couch as my thoughts wandered around until my little brother began to speak, more serious now.

"But Big brother, you still haven't forget about her. You can't push yourself to other women when your mind is always on her! That is unfair to them!"

I look down and thought about the words he keep repeating every time this happen.

I want to move on...

Every time my heart seems to catch on a different woman other than my first love.

I convinced myself that I love them but it was never enough.

I silently went back to my room after my brother tried to register his words to my mind but it didn't help me at all.

After all, I start believing she left because she still have dreams.

Our love is the only reason to stay but she has more reasons to choose the future she planned for herself.

I tiredly grumble to myself and thinking about her just reminds her warmth on my bed.

For goodness sake Sanemi, pull yourself together.

After the sudden meeting with the Master, I decided to take a stroll in the garden to calm my nerves down on the Kamado Siblings.

No matter what, she is still a demon. The blood of those monsters is already running on her body. That won't change anything.

I stop ranting on my brain when I notice there's another presence in the garden other than me.

In that one part of the garden, I notice the visible figure of a lady who seems to be in her own world, picking some useless flowers.

I raised an eyebrow on her actions before walking towards her and my footsteps immediately warned her about my presence as she stood up from the dirt before looking back to face me.

I don't know what has gotten to me but it feels like everything became slow motion the moment she turned around to look at me.

Her hair flows with the wind as her green orbs gaze at my own.

She looks like a beautiful memory.

"What are you doing? Aren't you aware which territory you are trespassing?" I ignored how my heartbeat quickened as I looked at the small basket she was holding.

She lifted a gentle smile before bowing to me.

"I was tasked to pick up herbs from any garden by Shinobu-san. My apologies if I startled you by my presence"

Such a gentle voice from a woman like her. I thought she would stammer or even become jolly like the other servants I came across.

Yet she manages to compose herself in front of someone more superior.

"What's your status in the Butterfly Mansion?"

I asked her as she properly stood up before answering me. "I am the provider of the herbs used in the medicines"

I nod before she went back to what she was previously doing. Out of nowhere she lent me a damn flower.

What would I do with this?

"That is Lavender. It helps with stress, my Lord"

She informed me even though I didn't ask yet. My frown deeper as I held my back on throwing and stomping on it.

"How can you make sure that I'm stressed?" I ask her as she just shrugged her shoulder before showing me a playful smile.

"Well, it's really up to you if you will admit it" she confidently answered.

Point taken...

Unknowingly, I have the urge to get to know her better. Even if it was against my wishes, my human emotions is also not giving in to my plans in life.

I'm already fine with flings but it seems like fate have other plans.

I knew I fucked up when I started to look for her presence. Yearn and longed for it.

And if I found her, we spend most of our time together in the garden because I got to know that it was also her habit to teach about the herbs she is collecting.

Sometimes, she is the one who can relax my nerves without even the herb she is giving to me.

I knew I was already sinking deeper in this uncontrollable emotion.

That I want her to stay, stay beside me.

But I don't know if I can give her the happy ending that is impossible to achieve.

When my job is to annihilate the lurking demons in the land. Too dangerous to settle down.

Yet even I tried to deny, oppose, or even refuse my developing feelings for her, there is already a change in my character before I manage to prevent it.

That I want her to be with me.

And that led me to me telling my growing feelings for her. And how can I hope she would like me back?

I still remember her words as clear as now.

"I don't like your character, My Lord. Your harsh and cruel attitude. I can't tolerate it but I know there are reasons" she started as I listen to every word she has to say.

"But that is the problem too, I don't know your story, I don't know you. So I am not sure if I can manage loving you."

Her words are full of honesty and no ounce of playing. She stated her reasons and I accept every word of it.

I decided to court her that day.

In two years, I showed her my weakness, I told her my fears, I shared my reasons.

I fell first, and I fell harder

I love how her mind was opened and her ears are ready to listen.

Every single second I fell in love deeper with her until she finally accepted me as her partner.

It made me so happy, Shinobu just ruined it.

"Are, Are? I don't accept it" she told me that an irk mark appeared on my forehead.

I don't know if she is annoying me or just wants to be sadistic. I heard her sigh that made me realize she is serious.

"Sanemi, Y/n became a close friend of mine too. On your reputation for the past years, how can I be assured you would not hurt her nor break her heart?" I can feel the care she has for my partner that made me give a pat on her shoulder.

"That would not happen"

"You better be or I will kill you"

And I continue to love her, if possible, even fall deeper.

Sometimes it scared me too. I am aware that she is becoming my weakness. And every night it scared me that one day, she would leave me.

But her kisses, her gazes, and her embrace held my biggest fear away from me. I loved her even if the world end.

That was a promise I tried to keep.

"Hun?" She called me as I lingered kisses on her exposed shoulder as our naked bodies warmed each other.

I hummed and put my attention back to her and notice she is thinking of something deep.

I snake my arms around her waist before I pull her closer to me so I can lay my head on her shoulders. "What's bothering you?"

I ask her. She hesitated to open up to me that made me squeeze her hands as she let out a long breathe.

"Would you allow me to leave? So I can pursue my dreams?" She ask me and I felt my whole body froze from her words as she turned to look at me with worried look in her face.

It felt like a knife just stabbed me without letting me react.

"Am I not your dream?" I decided to tease to lighten the atmosphere around us. But she just squeezed my hands indicating she was seriously asking me.

Yet the small smile on my lips never leaves. It hurted me, really. But I don't own her.

I just love her...

"Do you need to leave just to reach it?" I ask her as I tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear.

Do you really need to leave me?

"Yes" she whispered before looking away so she won't see my face.

"Would you come back?" I asked her as I tried to prepare my heart for her answer yet silence was the only thing I heard.

I can feel the ache in my chest as I just hid my face on her shoulder.

I can't make her stay at all.

It made me question so many things, so many memories of ours. Why would she give my love a second chance if she will not stay in the end.

That was my first question.

And it can be a reason to hate her.

But I didn't have the strength to. I can't hate her, not even one bit.

"Big Brother" I heard Genya call for me, trying to get my attention as I daydream again on the same garden where I first met her.

The moment she left, the taste of bitterness never left my life. Every single day, I could never forget the person who is my first time in so many things.

Chisuzu Y/n

How can you break me so easily? Why is it easy for you to abandon me?

You were my universe, you were my world.

And you left me for a dream you could have pursued with me. Why? Out of all ways for you to hurt me, do you need to leave me completely?

What can you do Shinobu?

When your friend was the one who broke me.

"Big Brother" my younger brother called for me again. "What" It was an irritated answer and both of us knew.

I would barely keep my past self from coming back again.

I became the same person as three years ago before I met her. Realizing I felt this heartbreak because I made her my weakness.

And it was my biggest mistake.

"Slow down Sanemi. You might lose yourself if you get too drunk" I heard Tengen's words but I keep going as they just didn't bother stopping anymore.

I drowned my sorrows, I buried my pain. Yet it always ends on the same thoughts lingering on my mind.

I gave her everything, but she left me with nothing but memories.

I want her back beside me...

~•°•~

"You want to become a swordsman with that lousy tactic? You hope to become better yet you are not doing anything for it. You think you can easily pray for it and they will bless it to you?" I exclaimed to one of my students as the others stayed silent. The anger in my tone was evident that I might explode any minute because of frustrations.

"Get a grip on yourself and do better!" I shouted before the student bow and accepted my words.

"Brother" I heard Genya behind me, his tone was not the usual serious one, it was more shock and worried.

Did someone die?

"What?" I asked him with slight annoyance in my tone.

"She is back..." I felt my world stop as I didn't have the guts to look at him.

But I felt how my gaze softened even at the slight mention of her. I felt my heart quicken like the first time we met but I still didn't bother to move from my place as I tightly held on sword.

"Are you not planning to welcome her? She is now on the Butterfly Mansion..." He informed me as I huffed out in disbelief.

I don't have the heart to. All the pain I felt when she left me was still evident, was still present and felt.

But she was the first one who decided to approach me.

"Hun..." I heard her gentle call of our nickname as I felt her hand snake around my body as she laid her head on my back.

"I'm back"

I felt my eyes sting as tears started welling up on it.

I don't want to turn around, I don't want to break again.

"I'm sorry for leaving you" she murmurs as I feel my hands touch hers.

"I can't hate you..." I finally spoke out as I turned around to face her. Nothing has changed for the past two years she left.

Two years that felt like a decade.

"I'm sorry Sanemi. It was selfish of me to leave" she admitted as she tightly clung to me.

"I almost lost it" I stuttered out as the ache in my pain never left.

But I was glad

She returned back to me, safe and sound.

"I won't leave anymore. Above anything, I would always come back to you. Only you till the end." She muttered before she tipped toe to land a kiss on my lips.

"Forgive me..." She asked with her gentle gaze towards me.

And how can I resist?

"So many people already told me that you were not worth it" I cried out as I lost the strength to keep standing in front of her as she kept holding on to me.

We were both alone, crying out the pain of our hearts.

"I don't want to give up our love even though I feel like I was the only one fighting for it" I tightly clutch to her as she offered me her shoulders to cry on.

"You became a villain to everyone's eyes but you were my hero, you made me become a better person when you were here" my sobs were uncontrollable that if anyone was watching, I would lose the reputation of the heartless mentor.

But the only thing I could think of was her.

"Y/n, I really love you... I really do"

"I know, I know that very well..." It was evident in her tone that she was trying to hold herself back from crying.

I don't have the heart for revenge, nor the heart to hate her. Because our lives are short, I don't want to waste it on another long journey of pain anymore.

We can always restart again...

And I'm willing to do it as long as it was with her...

#demon slayer #demon slayer sanemi #kimetsu no yaiba #kny sanemi #kny fanfic #kny angst #kny comfort #love #sacrifice #sanemi x reader #sanemi shinazugawa #kny hashira #hashira x reader #wind hashira #Spotify

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keruimi · 3 months

Text

His Lost Love

Muichiro Tokito x reader

Warning! Angst and Slight Comfort

When he hid the most painful thing he experienced after he became a Hashira until he forgot about it. But that deep scar was opened again when he met the person he chose to forget.

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Here again, back at the mansion roofs. While the feelings of longing are still present to my life. It's been four years since I regained my memories.

Yet I still feel like something is missing.

I look at the moon as it manages to show me the view of the whole headquarters with the Hashiras' mansion buzzing with happiness.

It's been four years since we killed Muzan, yet there are still some demons alive and walking freely on the land.

Busy with the mission, I didn't notice I already turned eighteen.

I heard someone land on the roof that made me give a side glance and saw Tanjiro.

"What is it?" I asked him as I looked back at the scenery I never got bored of. I felt him sit beside me as he also looked at the view I was gazing at.

"You're here again"

I know. And I don't know the reason why I keep coming back here.

"Tanjiro" I called out for him as I sigh. "I feel empty but I can't remember the reason why"

I told him as I felt the cold breeze of the night. Just recalling that feeling makes my eyes glossy.

"I don't know why I always feel like there's a missing part of me" I admit as I lowered my head down and hid my face.

"Maybe because your twin brother is not here with you anymore..." He guessed but I shook my head as I wiped my tears away.

"No" I whispered. "I coped with his death through anger. It can't be him"

But maybe I am just overthinking?

Both of us got silent before a frantic crow ruined the silence around us.

"South East! South East! A demon is near the headquarters!" Tanjiro's crow repeated it like a broken record that made my companion stand from his position.

Our conversation were cut off short

"Well Muichiro, I'll be going"

I hummed in response before he went to the South East. I decided to enter my bedroom when I felt that the breeze was colder than usual.

And yet the moment I stepped inside my room, I saw the blue haori on the rack as I took a hold of it.

I knew I forgot about someone. Because when I took a hold of the Haori, it gave me a slight comfort as it brightly showed the ice patterns on it.

I felt another presence that made me look outside my window and saw again the blue mist in the form of a woman.

I took a step closer to it and as she usually does, she just caresses my cheek as my mind went somewhere again.

What if the blue mist is a remembrance of the person I forgot?

Out of all things, this mist always appears at night and never forgets to caress or show me comfort even though it was never physically.

But I feel it...

If I can just remember that person... Would I manage to quench the empty feeling deep inside me?

"South East! Back up in the South East!" I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard my crow speak as the blue mist disappeared with the wind.

I put my thoughts together as I wore the blue Haori for comfort on a cold night.

I immediately follow my crow to the forest and not even 10 minutes, I can already feel the aura of the demon.

They are indeed close to the headquarters.

I heard glass shattering and swords clacking as I observed the situation before me.

I saw Mitsuri and Tanjiro already fighting together yet Mitsuri still got blasted off that made me run to catch her.

"I thought we already slayed the upper moons?" She asked me in a worried tone as she picked herself back up while I looked back at the battle happening in front of me.

It seems like the Demon is used to ice as it defends herself from Tanjiro's Dragon techniques.

The demon was a woman with white hair that ends on her lower back.

I ready my stance as I took a hold of my sword.

"Mist Breathing Fourth Form: Shifting Flow Splash"

When I first attacked, the woman managed to jump back, barely avoiding it.

The moment I got closer to her, that's when I properly got to observe her form.

A familiar form...

The woman stopped from her movements as she didn't leave her gaze at me.

"Chiro..." The low whisper caught me off guard as my eyes widened like saucers in disbelief.

How can this demon know me?

Mist Breathing Third form

I started to think again as I ignored the words of the demon in front of me.

Scattering Mist Splash

She managed to avoid it with a slight groan of pain as I saw that I managed to graze one of her cheeks.

"Muichiro Tokito!" She shouted my full name that made me stop from my movements.

There was a slight anger and sadness in her eyes as she stands in the middle of the open area in the forest.

"Can't you remember me?"

A disgusting feeling nagged me behind as I kept my blank gaze on her figure.

She is just a demon, nothing more

But when I saw how her eyes glossed, my surroundings were covered in dark as a frame of the past was shown in front of me.

"Are you the new slayer?" I stop my training to look back at the girl who seems to be at the same age as me.

She has white hair with those cyan eyes. She somehow looks ethereal with that gentle smile that lingers on her face.

I ignored her as I took a hold of my sword again to continue training but when I swing it, another sword stops it.

"Let me be" those were the first words I told her as the girl just gave a warm smile before throwing my sword out of my hand using hers.

"You need to rest. Overworking never leads to a good outcome" she stated and before I got to cut her neck off, she took hold of my hand and dragged me through the porch of the mansion I was staying at and sat me down there.

"I'm a Hashira, what makes you think you can treat me this way?" I told her and didn't bother to hide the annoyance in my voice as I felt her wipe my hands with a cold towel.

"You let me though"

Her answer made an irk mark appear on my forehead. "I didn't give you the consent to drag me"

"You still let me drag you even though we both know you can just snatch yourself away from my grip" she stated that made me give up on arguing with her.

I was aware of the rules of these corporations yet I can't debate on it especially if it was a girl I'm talking to.

I just flick her head because I know I lost on that one and I heard a giggle from her after that.

I would forget about this anyways.

I manage to rest on the porch from the hellish training I'm making myself go through under the blazing heat of the sun.

After she treated my wounds, it felt like my hands were relaxed that made me think if she was a slayer that is being taught by the insect Hashira.

"Who are you staying with?" I ask her as she lets out a small grin before scooting close to me. "Why? Are you planning to visit me?"

"No" I deadpan that made her shoulder drop but she still maintains the smile on her face. "I am just wondering who is raising a bold girl like you. We are clearly different in status yet you didn't follow my instructions"

She just looks at the field in front of us as there is no ounce of fear in her eyes.

It seems like the master of this girl spoils her too much.

"I am Giyu-san's tsuguko" she informed me something about her as I thought who was that guy again.

But a Tsuguko is also a powerful person in the Demon Slayer corps.

"Are you lying or are you lying?" I ask her in a blank tone before standing up to train again.

"None of the above"

Her answer managed to lift a small smile on my lips. I don't seem to take care of having someone as carefree as her.

That day became our beginning towards an emotion called love.

She was always with me, and I began to love her presence around me. So this is what it feels like to have someone of the same age interested in swordsmanship.

She is the only one who can stop me from overworking myself like before. I managed to take care of my health when she was with me.

She has a comforting presence that I always found myself having a slumber every time I was with her.

I felt her run my soft hand on my long hair as I sighed in contentment until I heard her call me by my nickname she gave me.

"Chiro"

I hummed in response as I opened my eyes to look at her who had her usual soft gaze on me.

"I love you more than a friend..." She confessed one day we were resting under a tree.

Love?

Her confession made my heart beat quicken as I sat up to look at her. I look away in hesitation knowing about how I easily forget things.

If I accept her feelings, I might forget it but she wouldn't.

"Aren't we too young for that?"

I told her as I slightly turned my head in her direction as she leaned back on the tree.

"I know..." She whispered but she still lifted a small smile and looked at me. "I just want to let you know. I don't need an answer knowing you never thought of those"

She is brave. She knows the outcome but she still did it.

I wrapped my arms around her for a hug as she returned it back to me while my thoughts started to wander off again.

I don't want to lose this relaxing moments with my only friend.

That night, I started to spend my time on the roof of the mansion as I cooled my head to think about it.

Shockingly, I never forget about her confession.

Even up till the times we hangout, her confession keeps repeating on my head over and over again.

"I love you" I mumbled on her shoulder as I hugged her from the back while we basked under the sun.

I felt her stiffen on my touch before she relaxed herself again that made me close my eyes.

I don't want to lose her.

She made me realize my worth even at such a young age.

"Chiro, you're deserving of love too" she exclaimed in her loving tone as she caress my cheeks and I can't help but lean more on her.

Men or women, girls or boys, she saw them the same way. She was the definition of justice itself.

"Health is a strength too. Take care of it, hone it until you break its limit"

Learning from the Hashira that took her in, there was no doubt she would mimic their mannerism too.

I love those kinds of women.

Someone who doesn't tolerate my cruel treatment to others.

"Chiro, you shouldn't talk to them that way"

She keeps correcting my wrongdoings. She was literally my guardian angel.

The only woman I remember.

The only woman I put all my attention to. Dedicated every victory just to come back to her alive.

Until one night when she went on a mission.

There were supposed to be only normal demons in the mission she headed to, but she met one of the upper moon demon itself.

We were too late when we arrived. She was already in the arms of Doma, the upper rank two who are known to eat women.

I felt how my pupil shook that time as I saw her body covered in her own blood. She laid there lifeless before he took her with him.

Even Obanai who was with me didn't able to catch up to him.

I felt my world spin that time before I lose my consciousness for the first time.

The last thing I saw was the Serpent Hashira running back to catch my body.

And the moment I woke up, it was already reality. She was not here with me.

I didn't arrive home with her. She was taken away without me knowing if she was still alive or dead.

There's a part of me is hoping that the demon give her mercy and at least let her live.

I felt Obanai-san approach me before lending me her Haori. And I took it without second thought.

The only reminder of her...

I don't know what took over me but I found myself begging everyday to the Master to save her. I keep begging until I can't physically do it anymore.

We can't stand a chance on retrieving her back, not even her body.

"Master..."

"We are doing our best, Muichiro. But for now, take care of yourself" he stated as the older Hashiras held me to prevent myself on begging again.

"But Y/n..." My voice broke as tears never stop falling from my eyes. "We need to save her now, Master. I can't lose her too"

I cried out as the two Hashira just drag me out of the Master's quarters.

"Bring her back to me!" I screamed in anger as I snatched myself away from their grips and let my body fell to the ground.

"I can't lose her" I sobbed out as they let me cry my heart out on the path of stones.

My world turn cold, I lost the right direction. No one was holding my harsh personality back anymore.

No one was comforting me anymore.

I lost my backbone, I lost my lover.

In exchange, I stop caring for others.

I was blinded by anger that I didn't know I was slowly forgetting about her.

Mizuki Y/n

The second person that I didn't manage to save from the demons that ruined my entire life.

"Y/n..." I called her name as I started to recall everything.

How can I forget? The woman I was willing to bend the rules for. Even turn my back against the world.

The woman I would lay my life for...

Turn into the being that I despise the most.

My lover...

I didn't have time to choose my next move when I heard a familiar scream.

"I will slice you to shreds, you damn demon!"

I felt my heart drop as I saw the boar man already behind her. She is not focused.

The only thing she cares about right now... Is to see if I still remember her.

But who cares if she was turned into a demon? Does that make her less loveable?

Muichiro, get your grip together.

She is a demon, who knows what happened to those six years when both of you were apart.

But...

Seeing how she quickly recognizes me, she hasn't completely lost touch with her humanity.

Of her old self...

Without thinking, I ran to her who had her arms open for me for an embrace.

I took a hold of her hands before spinning her around to avoid Inosuke's attack.

And I felt the sharp pain on my back before both of us collapsed on the ground. I heard her gasp below me as she put her hands on my chest.

"I'm sorry Chiro" she apologizes with her glossy eyes but I just shook my head with a small smile on my lips.

"i just want to go back home" she sobbed out as I felt tears formed in my eyes.

"Demon or not, you are still my lover that I would save from the world." I told her as I heard Giyu prevent Inosuke on attacking again as I nuzzle my head on her shoulder.

She was still the same person no matter what.

"Don't worry Y/n. You have me... I'll bring you back home"

~°•°~

"What's with all of you breaking the rules" Tengen-san decided to visit after hearing the news while I decided to stay quiet as I kneel in front of the porch while waiting to meet Kiriya, the new master.

I never bother to care about the other Hashiras around me, because I only need the Master's opinion on my crazy idea about letting Y/n keep living.

Yes, who would agree when the cure is impossible to obtain now that Muzan and the twelve Kizuki's are gone.

It was utterly impossible to cure her now. She would always be a demon, she can't become a human anymore.

"The Master has arrived"

We all bowed in respect to the Master younger than me.

"It's nice to see all of you gather for this" he started as I raised my head from my bow that was lower than usual.

"I've heard your plea, Muichiro. But this request needs more time" he started as I kept my mouth shut.

"Y/n was a former tsuguko of Giyu. She was taken away out of her will during her mission. In this trial, we, the senior Hashiras, hope that you would at least consider that before any grave punishment bestowed to her case" I heard Obanai's words that made my heart warmed at least before I bowed at the young man in front of me.

"I have no complaints while the trial is ongoing. But may I at least request one thing?"

I ask the leader who gave me a nod that made me continue.

"Please let me stay with her throughout the whole trial"

The garden went silent as Mitsuri let out a small huh before Obanai covered her mouth.

"If that's what you want. I'll grant you that"

And I did stay with her the whole time.

I always gazed at her sleeping figure outside her cell.

If she would suffer, I would accompany her on that. I don't want to leave her again.

I love her, its my duty to become her ally, her support on her darkest time, and her lover to make her feel she is still loved and accepted by us.

I would never make her feel abandoned again...

#kny #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #kny hashira #hashira x reader #kny muichiro #kny fanfic #muichiro tokito #demon slayer muichiro #muichiro x reader #love #comfort #angst #angst with a happy ending #Spotify

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keruimi · 3 months

Text

Her World

_________________

This is just a work of fiction. The picture above is not mine and just the story below me. I just finished watching demon slayer and thought to make a short story about my unrequited love for a fictional character. My first FanFiction about my favorite Demon, Akaza. I hope all of you enjoyed my first post in this account. My sincerest apologies if ever the character on Demon slayer is not the same here. I haven't memorized each of their characteristics yet. And for the scenario, it doesn't follow the plot of Demon slayer so don't overthink too much.

Warning! Spoilers ahead

Akaza x reader angst. Suicide and love.

I was feeling a bit heartbroken so I made this.

_____________________

Meet Himawari Y/n, born from a family who cherished the tradition and culture pass down by their ancestors. A doting daughter raised to be obedient. Well-known in her village for her unbelievable beauty, a brunette woman with her gem-worty lavender eyes. A role model for the other daughters.

Yet when she started to learn about the outside world, she slowly gained knowledge of what truly the value of the life she is having. To reach the dream she has ever wanted, to have a family. And for now, as other usual day, she started to work at her job in a restaurant as a waitress.

Reeking with elegance and beauty, the men who saw her could never leave their gaze at her figure as she take a customer's order with the usual kind smile on her lips.

It was a peaceful life...

Until her parents' obsession with tradition and culture got out of control.

It happened one night where the moon was already shining brightly, a hysterical cry of a woman is what you can just hear from the town hall.

Trying her best to prevent her mother from grabbing her fisted hand to sign the marriage paper in front of her as she felt disgusted at the hands of the man touching her.

"I don't want to!" She repeated as she resisted with all her might to surrender her hands to their forces on her.

If she can just cut her hands, she would.

What was her parents thinking? Why would they sell her to a man who is almost thrice her age. She just turned eighteen!

"Let me go" she shouted as she tried to loosen their grips on her but not even them are budging.

And one thought came to her mind.

How in the entire world did her parents agree to this.

They were great parents, when did they tolerate this kind of tradition?

Is it money? Power? Status?

She can't find any flaw in their life right now. She was content, they were content. How come it reaches this?

"Mom, I don't want this!" She cried out and only a harsh slap returned to her making her will to resist drop immediately.

The mother she respected raise her hand at her.

It felt like she was continuously being stomped on as she lost her right to breathe.

Without any thought, her mother took a hold of her hand without wasting any second.

And she only thought of one thing...

Run

When the tip of the ballpen was already on top of the paper. She kneed the man behind her making him lose his touch on her. She snatched her hands away from her mother's grasp.

"Y/n!"

She heard her mother's shout and without a second thought, she turned her back on her and bolted out of the wooden door of the town hall.

She halted when her gaze met her father's cold eyes. "Y/n, get back in there. This is for your future too"

She can't help but frown at them with tears in her eyes. Future?

"Listen to us"

Why would she need a man for that when she can build one by herself?

She snapped out of her own thoughts when her father took a hold of her arm as quick footsteps can be heard behind.

She grit her teeth and without a second thought for her freedom, as with one free hand, she took out her hairpin from her bun. And stab her father's hand that was holding her.

"I can't be an obedient daughter like the person you raised when you changed your way of loving me"

She already lost respect for her parents.

Her father groaned in pain and when she felt a hand on her kimono, she immediately snatched her clothing away from the man's grasp and bolted towards where her feet would take her.

They said the night was never safe, but it feels like staying here is more dangerous.

She can hear the uproar she has caused among the villagers as she continues running far from where she came from.

If there are Gods, even if she never prayed this desperately to be saved. She is willing to believe a God that she is not even sure they really existed.

"Is there anyone who is willing to help me?"

She felt her tears finally slid from her eyes as the loud crowd chased her.

She felt her feet already hurting but she still didn't stop running. Only the twinkling stars and the bright moonlight was her only guide from the darkness.

She is scared of the creatures and beings she believed in. Ghost, elf, enchanted people and more creatures that lived in the forest.

But when it comes to the freedom she is trying to protect, she can abandon that fear.

"Don't let her get away!"

"Get the horses!"

"Y/n!"

The shouts were getting near and she knows they are catching up to her.

"If there is even a God..." She started as she put her gaze behind her and saw some villagers following her.

They were not even blurry on her vision, they were close.

"If there is someone out there..." She looks back to the front in the direction she is heading to.

"Help me!" She shouted without even knowing if someone would listen to her plea. She didn't care if the people who are chasing her might think she is crazy to think about asking for help when the whole village went against her wish.

Her tired body is already succumbing to the pain her feet was feeling. She was never put on a situation like this.

She was never taught how to survive.

She found herself on a dead end as a rock on the bottom of the mountain block her from escaping.

Fear run through her veins as she look back at the people getting closer and she can't help but stuttered her last plea.

"If someone is out there, please help me" she cried out as she back away from the people walking closer to her.

If there is really another life, she is willing to die at this moment.

"Y/n, don't make things harder for us. You ask for this for so long" her mother who faked a sickly sweet worried voice made her stomach churn.

A sentence to avoid embarassing their reputation on the village.

"Don't go against us, we raised you with everything we have for you to have a good life. We won't suffer on money anymore"

And it finally dawned to her...

Their gentle care for her, providing all her needs... Was just for this?

For her to obediently follow everything they wanted?

She finally calm her breathing as she finally realized. It was never really love to begin with, not even the duty or responsibility of them being her parents.

They want to make money off her.

Blessed with such beauty, raise to be gentle and well-mannered lady.

"That's right..." She muttered to herself as her glossy eyes can be seen due to the torch lit up by the villagers behind her parents.

"You both would never get this glory without me" she said as the disbelief and disappointment was written in her face.

"Y/n, it's not like that. We just want to give you a man that can provide the needs for your entire life. So you would not suffer at all" her father's stern voice made her tear up as she can't help but laugh.

"I would rather die than lose myself and dignity as a woman to the desires of everyone" she stated before slowly backing away that made her mom step closer.

With her final decision, she turned her back as she quickly moved her head to the sharp edges of the rock that cornered her.

But somehow, she felt a hard and warm palm against her forehead making her pull herself away.

She found her gaze at the bright yellow eyes shimmering under the moonlight, that was staring back at her as a small smile adored his lips.

She lost her composure at the man who just offered a smile on her as he sat above the rocks she was about to hit her head on.

She started to observed him, a man who has breathtakingly beautiful yellow eyes with unknown words on them. Body adored with stripes she didn't know what it symbolize.

She felt her body trembling as she heard her parents behind her.

"y/n, let's go now"

She slowly reached her hand on the man's hand that was resting on the stone as she grip on it that made the man turn his attention back to her.

This was her last choice

"Please help me" she exclaimed weakly as she looked down and slowly fell on her knees, unknowingly letting go of his hand as her body finally succumbed to darkness.

The man's gaze just follow her body that slowly fell on the ground as he notice the father took a step forward and bow at him.

"My apologies, good Mister. We are just trying to take her back home, she run away after she showed her rudeness to the leader. Forgive us from disturbing you" the father stated as he saw a few men walking up to the girl as he closed his eyes.

He didn't say a word as he effortlessly disfigured the body of the men who tried to get closer. Their body fell limp as gasps surrounded the air.

A smile made its way to his lips.

"I don't mind..." He started as he gave them a grin. "A feast"

And his eyes shone brighter under the moonlight as screams of terror is the only thing you can hear.

~°•°~

I clearly remembered that night when I first saw him. The night where I start longing for his presence. The urge to stay with him forever made me decide on something I didn't know I would have thought of.

"Turn me into a demon"

The will I showed him that I am willing to become one without him even asking me. The time when I decided to train so I can become worthy to stay beside him.

"Akaza" I whispered as I ran my fingers through his hair as we stayed in a room, hiding from the sunlight while he rest his tired body on me.

I soothe him almost to take a nap on my thighs until he heard me speak that made him open his eyes to look at me.

I can't help but stare deeply at his eyes as I tried my best to not get weak just on his gaze so I just looked at the painting in front of me.

It was just some traditional paintings made by humans. The being I was before I became a villain.

Just for him...

"Why did you become a demon?" I ask the first question that first came to my mind as I looked down again at him who was just staring at him.

He sat up after a few seconds and immediately made me feel lonely as I stared at his back. We were both silent as I sighed before looking away.

How can I ask that?

Villains have reasons why they became one. Asking them would just dig the painful past that is deeply buried.

And I decided to open it.

"I'm sorry, it was just that-"

"I want to become stronger" he answered with a blank tone that made me feel like it was not his greatest desire.

What was his greatest desire? The dream he wanted to reach but it's so far.

Like he is to me.

He treated me differently but not too different from others.

Is it because I was a woman?

I've heard from the others that he never kills women. And I am no different.

It made me think if he ever loved someone that made killing women forbidden to his rules. It made my heart ache as I looked away from his figure that walked out of the room.

It was almost half a century ago when I decided to become a demon. Yet when I did, I never felt that kind of warmth I felt that night.

I tried, yet failed so many times.

I was always by his side. Helping him with his mission, became his eye on the outside world.

I did everything to become worthy to become someone important to him.

But never once did he make me feel I was important.

That theory was proven when my nightmare turned to reality. A painful news was informed to me.

"Akaza is dead! Kyomi, just surrender yourself" I heard the person who has a Hashira aura from them.

I felt my body stop attacking as my blood turned cold.

My surroundings turned cold as my world went dark.

"He took his own life" she let out the final bomb that made me gasp from pain as my eyes started to filled tears that turn to ice.

The ice that made the frozen feet of the three slayers surrounding me finally melted as tears slipped from my eyes.

"You're lying" I managed to mutter between heavy breaths as I found myself having a difficult time to breath.

They are lying

He could never leave me

"I'll name you Kyomi" I still remembered the first sentence he uttered to me. Before and after I became a demon.

A beautiful smile was plastered to his face and I let him use me as he pleased.

I obey everything he wanted.

"You're learning well" he praised me as I managed to finally master the moves he taught me.

"Fireworks makes my heart stir"

That he managed to talk to me the things that bother him the most.

"In anyone's eyes, am I even enough?!" His angry tone shook the whole room as I ran to him to hug his body that was shaking from hatred.

"You're more than enough, Akaza. In my eyes, you were the strongest" I spoke with my sincerest emotions as I took a hold of his face, gently caressing his cheek.

"Akaza, you're doing more than enough"

I still remember that time when he first softened his eyes for me. The first time he burst on me.

I remember everything, from his lowest and highest moments when I entered his life.

He should have a reason to live.

I was here. I was beside him

"You were not the person he was looking for" the hashira in front of me keeps opening up the truth.

I don't even know if it was the truth.

But maybe it was. The moment I felt them stop attacking me from different directions.

I can feel one of their sympathetic gazes for me.

"From the information we gathered on him, he never wanted to become a demon" she started as my body was still frozen in one place.

"Ever since from the beginning, he already wanted to follow her in the afterlife. He was just deprived of that wish"

I felt the world stop as only one word engraved on my mind.

Her?

"Koyuki. The woman he promised to marry when he was still a human" she started to take steps forward to me.

"Muzan just removes his memory so he can continue being a demon. Do you realize now?" She stopped in front of me as a cold gaze stared on my own.

"You never have a place there in his life. You were no one"

It broke me.

Her words, deeply hurted me. "Kanao, that's enough"

"The fact that you became a demon just for his love" she exclaimed as I felt a dagger near my stomach.

"Are you willing to change your mind now and just die" her knife started to trail from my stomach to my neck as the tears from my eyes continue to feel on my cheeks.

But I can feel how tired all of them are.

They entered the realm where demons can't even handle it except for the King and Nakime.

I can't help but let out a long breath as her words continued to process on my mind.

Koyuki...

So she was that person that always make his mind blank and reminded him of a few memories that held him back from turning it into one of the happiest memories with me.

She, his fiance. A human that he never forgets.

His first love. And somehow she still became his last.

I felt the wind knock my lungs as I fell to my knees as heartbreak started taking over my body and mind.

I was no one?

No one.

Not even someone who he would choose just to stay alive.

All of my life, I lived on the lies of my parents. And now his comfort has warmed my entire world, was it still the same as them?

"Akaza..."

How can you not love me?

Why... Do I always receive the opposite of everything I wanted?

I thought I already made it. I thought I managed to become someone you cherished.

But in the end, even if you forgot about her, your mind and heart would always stay on her.

I sat on my knees as I looked up to the woman who looked stronger than me.

I wish I became like her. I wish I decided to live for myself, for the good of the world, than to become a villain for the person who never really saw my worth.

"Do as you wish..." I whispered as I felt my heartbeat slowly stop beating.

"I have nothing to fight for"

And I felt my neck being cut off from my body, yet the tears on my eyes never stopped falling.

If there's a God, if there's a second life...

I saw myself in that dark place, where I saw him with them.

If there was a second life...

I just wish to be happy

I just....

Want

to be happy...

And I found myself walking towards the blazing fire of hell. Never looking back, at the happiness he found for himself.

While I lost myself because I decided to choose him.

#kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #demon x reader #love #unrequited feelings #akaza x reader #kny akaza #akaza #Spotify #anime

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