kindaangelic

[kindaangelic]

A Day Out With A Bat - Damian Wayne Edition

We're starting a new series, because why not? Starting with the babiest of bats!

Morning

Ah five am, the perfect time to wake

The house is quiet, everyone is sound asleep

This will never do

Wake up, Drake

I cannot reach the cereal in the top shelf

Raisin bran please

No better start to the day than with fiber

Oh, good morn, Grayson :)

Let us go and train, I want to learn that flip-kick you did last night on the Joker.

It was glorious, his nose was caved inwards

Todd uploaded it to his insta story

Mid-morning

Ah, nothing beats a good training session

What ho, Pennyworth, shall we take morning tea together?

I would love to hear more about your time as a spy for the British Secret Service

Ah, father has finally awoken

What ho, father, we are supposed to go to Justice League Headquarters today

Yes, I promise I won't maim Oliver Queen

Haha, I crossed my fingers

Afternoon

Grayson! Do you want to hear what happened at League Headquarters?

It was glorious

I took a video for Todd

Of course I want lunch

Can we make falafel please?

My god, what is Drake doing

Chew the food, you ignoble mosquito!

Grayson, Drake is scaring me

Evening

Almost time for patrol :)

No I haven't been plotting, father

Sike

Todd bought me a mini-axe to bring with me

Of course you can take a picture of me, Grayson

Is it going on the Damian Memory Wall?

Good show

Post-patrol

Why father, I simply have no idea how the Joker ended up with a small axe in his shoulder

Never fear, I have confiscated the axe in the name of safety

I simply cannot stand these accusations! I am going to bed!

Yes Grayson, I will have my almond and honey milk first :)

Goodnight

#batman #dick grayson #damian wayne #jason todd #tim drake #red hood #batfamily #nightwing #robin #red robin #fluff #humor #crack #dc comics #dcu #dccomics #new seriessss #day in the life of a bat

[kindaangelic]

ARGH it's too cute

For a doodle request: Damian as a baby <3

little sweet potato pie potentially scheming

#tiny damian #damian wayne

[kindaangelic]

Zipper jams. They can happen to anyone.

Aaaanyone. 

[kindaangelic]

Bruce running towards them in the background completes this

Jack O’ Hood! 🎃

Happy (early) Halloween everyone! Have a spooky Jason!

Bonus:

Jason goes all in or nothing. There is no in between

[kindaangelic]

Forever Yours, Little Wing

“Red Hood shot Deathstroke.”

Dick looked up from his coffee to stare at Tim incredulously. “Pardon?”

Tim, who was perusing the security camera footage from his numerous spy cameras of the city, smiled back. “Red Hood shot Deathstroke,” he repeated.

“Jason shot Slade? Why? And when?”

Tim hummed and pulled up the footage. “Yesterday, apparently, at 1:30am. In the Fashion District.”

“I patrolled there last night though,” Dick said. “I passed through at 1am!”

“And this happened half an hour later,” Tim shrugged.

“Why would Jay shoot Slade, though?” Dick mused.

“Who knows why Crazy McGee does anything,” Tim muttered bitterly. At Dick's amused glance, Tim bristled. “Hey! He's your baby brother, not mine. Besides, he tried to kill me. Me! Sweet, innocent, Timmy-” Tim paused to remove his sock and throw it at Damian, who had been making vomit noises in the background.

Dick smiled sadly and scratched Tim's ear like a kitten, immediately quieting the boy. “I know, Timmy. I won't ask you to make peace with him. I know that he hurt you.” Dick paused, sighing. “But I can't forget that I loved Jay too, the same as I love you and Dami now.”

In the corner, Damian lit up like an evil little lantern.

“I just... if I could talk to Jay-”

“Then go talk to him,” Tim suggested. “Bucket Head probably won't attack you, you guys only play fight anyway, neither of you ever go full out.”

Dick smiled. It was true - Jason never really touched him, and even went so far as to avoid touching his butt during tackles. Bro Butt was a definite Ick Inducer.

“Okay. I'll talk to him.”

***

“Psst.”

Jason Todd, the fearsome Red Hood, stopped in his tracks. Was he imagining things? He could have swore that sounded like-

“Little Wing!”

Jason sighed. “What, Dickhead,” he grumbled into thin air.

Dick popped out of the unimaginably small crevice in the wall that he had stuffed himself into. Inside his helmet, Jason flinched. He did not want to imagine how Bendy Butt had shoved himself into the small gap. “Ugh. Go away, you flexi-freak.”

“Red Robin showed me footage of you shooting Deathstroke,” Dick said. “Why did you do it?”

“Oh no, rewind to the part where the twink got footage of me,” Jason interrupted.

“Oh, you know Red Robin, he's got all of his little spy cameras and nanobot armies-”

“What-”

“- but that's not important-”

“Yes it is!” Jason panicked. Did Tim unleash a nanobot army on him? Was that why he itched in his most tender areas?

(Yes. Yes it was. Tim was very proud of avenging himself).

“- what's important is why you chose to go and shoot Deathstroke! Jay, he's a dangerous man, why on earth would you make an enemy of him-”

“Why on earth haven't you make an enemy of him, when he follows your jello butt across the city-”

“What?”

“- jiggling like pudding, honestly. The only thing I'll agree with Batman about is having you wear a cape-”

Dick's eyes softened with realization. “Oh, Jay,” he murmured affectionately.

“-so the rest of us don't have to waste our time looking out for- eck,” Jason cut himself off as Dick gently hugged him.

“You were looking out for me, Little Wing,” Dick smiled into his shoulder. “You do care!”

“No I don't.”

“I love you too!”

That escalated fast. “Oh my God, let me go, what if someone sees,” Jason whinged. Dick did let go then, but continued to beam at him. Jason shook off the Dick Cooties and glared. “If you want to smother someone, start closer to home. The Baby Brat offered me a bounty to kill Slade-”

“Dami did what?”

“I didn't take it, obviously, but dude, that kid is way too attached to you-”

“I'll just have to reassure him of my love!”

“And you wonder why I make mother-brother jokes about you,” Jason sighed defeatedly, as Dick continued to be oblivious. “Listen, it's not a big deal.”

Dick did not heed this, and his eyes continued to shine with unspoken love and hope.

“He was being a lech, it's the decent thing to do.”

The Eye Love Lasers were now maximum capacity.

“Dick!” Jason huffed angrily. He needed to get the message across, dammit!

“I love you too, Little Wing!”

Ugh. There really was no escaping it. Jason gave in gracelessly, allowing Dick to have his hug quota.

Maybe it really wasn't so bad.

#tim drake #batman #batfam #dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #dcu #red robin #damian wayne #robin #robin dc #batbros #batfamily

[kindaangelic]

Robin Musings, as per Krypto

Ph.D. (tummy rubs), M.A. (The Art of The Good Boi)

Robin I

A puppy!

Oh boy Clark finally made me a grandpup!

How well my grandpup fights!

And how well he flies!

Oh no

The chickens are trying to adopt him

Quick, bark at the chickens

Robin II

New pup!

Angry pup?

Let me lick your woes away

Oh I know all about sibling rivalry

See how the horses prance around and look all majestic

Disgusting

But I know that Clark loves both of us equally

Ah I have imparted wisdom

Robin III

ALERT

The pup is skinny!!

Feed the pup-!

Oh

I can't lactate :/

Quick, let's go to Bessie

Woman has like, six calves, she can spare some milk

Robin IV

Girl pup!

Brush me as you would brush your glorious hair

Now for the finale

We shall shed on Bruce's favorite chair :)

Robin III again

Skinny pup is dating Kon-pup!

Glorious, I will have great-grandpups now

That is, if Bruce doesn't keep yelling

Ruins the mood :/

How will my dynasty continue at this rate

Robin V

Angry pup!

Quick! Snuffle the anger away!

Oops I squished him

It's ok :)

What's this

The pup is kidnapping me!

Someone save me- oh wait

You're rich

Tell Clark I said bye :)

#batman #tim drake #bruce wayne #batfam #clark kent #timkon #superman #kon el kent #superboy #dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #red robin #damian wayne #robin musings #robin dc #robin #krypto #stephanie brown #batgirl #dcu #batfamily #batbros #fluff #humor #crack

[kindaangelic]

To be fair, Clark still pouts that Kon won't wear the overalls that he approved of.

Ma is just worried that Bruce will never give Kon Tim's hand in marriage if he dresses in “them ripped clothes dangnabit”

Conner clothing studies (guess which is the one approved by Lex). Because I can't get enough of that punk...

#tim drake #batfam #bruce wayne #batman #kon el kent #superboy #timkon #clark kent #superman

[kindaangelic]

@biggest-gaudiest-patronuses : has an opinion

All of South Asia: hey :) we :) would :) like :) to :) have :) a :) word :)

hot take: gold is ugly actually

[kindaangelic]

Robin Musings, as per Darksied

Ph.D. (Moste Evile Arts), M.A. (Dry skin)

Robin I/ Nightwing

What a sweet childe

A pity that all existence not under my control is futile

What are you doing

Stop looking at me with those big, cow eyes

Argh my raisin sized heart

It is expanding to accommodate emotion

Robin II/ Red Hood

No I will not fuck off into a commode and die

I can't believe that you're Robin

Where's the other one

Oh he's become hot 👀

Oh noe

The childe is attacking me

His curse words are actually hurtful :(

Robin III/ Red Robin

What is this

I think a gnome fell into the wrong universe

Oh it is a childe

What do you mean I should moisturize more

I don't want WayneMart industrial strength moisturizer

I am not going to increase your profit margin

Robin IV/ Spoiler

Okay I will admit that I am salty about being bald

You don't need to flaunt your admittedly glorious hair at me

No I have never used WayneMart Hair Rejuvenation Formula

Why are they everywhere

Is this a conspiracy

Robin III again/Red Robin

NO I don't want a gift certificate to Wayne Spa and Beauty Centre

My looks are the result of Dark Majicks

I highly doubt Wayne Cosmetics will help :/

Robin V/ Damian

I feel a sudden influx of Evile

The Evile is highly concentrated in this small childe

Perhaps I could claim the childe

And his jiggly mother-brother 👀

Oh noe I have awakened a great blood lust in the childe

I am doomed :(

#tim drake #bruce wayne #batfam #batman #dick grayson #damian wayne #jason todd #batfamily #red hood #red robin #robin musings #robin #robin dc #stephanie brown #spoiler dc #batgirl #darksied #batbros #fluff #humor #crack #dcu #dc comics

[kindaangelic]

Sir, this would be a hard guarantee that I would seek you out and speak to you.

Source: @bdylanhollis -tik tok

[kindaangelic]

Bringing the Boyfriend Home - Tim Drake Woes

Tim dithered on the front step of the manor, biting his lip in agitation. Should he go through with this?

“Timmy?” Bernard asked gently. “What's wrong?”

“It’s just... my family,” Tim admitted. “They're a lot.”

Bernard smiled, the sunlight bouncing off of his perfect teeth bringing warmth to Tim's cold, shriveled, soul. “Timmy, you're worrying again. Didn't you say that they loved you?”

Tim sighed. “Yeah...”

“And that your dad wanted to ‘vet me’?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“And that your big brother was jiggling thiccly around the kitchen to make a gay-friendly brunch?”

Tim finally cracked a smile. “Dick made crepes. Stephanie was appalled.”

Bernard smiled and stroked his thumb over Tim's knuckles. “See? It'll be fine.”

“What about Damian?”

“Sorted,” Bernard said smugly, moving his jacket aside to reveal a tiny sparroe in a tiny box. “I found a bird with a broken leg. I'll tell him that you said that he was the best with animals, and that I thought he could nurse it back to health.”

Tim's eyes glittered with unshed tears. He had the best boyfriend in the world.

***

“Hey Dick, this is Bernard.”

Dick glowed with happiness for his little stringbean brother finally having a normal, settled, relationship.

“Hi Mr. Dick,” Bernard waved, and Dick had to suppress a squeal of delight.

“Hi Bernard, it's so nice to meet you,” Dick enthused. “Here, have some cookies, I made them fresh!”

Bernard picked up a heart shaped cookie with a smile. “Thanks for being so supportive, Mr. Dick.”

Just then, the lights flickered, and Bernard caught sight of a harrowing face in the hallway, before it promptly disappeared.

“Who was that!?”

Dick looked around. “Who? There's nobody there.,” he said, before smiling brightly. “Here, have another cookie. You and Tim are both so tiny.”

Bernard choked down the cookie, the dour man’s face never leaving his mind. After they were done, Tom dragged Bernard to see his sister.

“This is Cass, she's my big sister,” Tim said, sounding audibly affectionate. Bernard smiled wholeheartedly - Tim really deserved to be able to have that kind of love. “And that's Damian in the animal pile over there.” Uh oh.

Bernard shook hands with Cass who smiled at him. “Tim says... you make him happy. I like that.”

Bernard felt a flood of affection for the soft spoken woman. “I always try. Timmy deserves the best.”

Cass smiled, her eyes crinkling in the corners. “Tim always tries hard for everyone else. We... look after Tim.”

By this time, Damian had also waddled over. “What ho. You are Bernard Dowd.”

“Er. What ho?” Bernard reached into his jacket. “Nice to meet you, Damian. Tim said that you were good with animals, so I thought of bringing you this bird - he hurt his leg-”

Damian was already scurrying away with the bird, speaking lovingly to the confused sparrow I Arabic. “Well done, Dowd,” he asked over his shoulder. “Drake has done well to choose you to continue the dynasty with!”

Bernard looked nonplussed, and then smiled amusedly at Tim. “You want to continue your dynasty with me? Tim, that's so cute!”

Tim blushed a pretty cherry blossom pink. “I- I- er-”

Bernard was just about to rib Tim more, when another flicker of movement caught his eye. The face! Bernard felt a chill as the figures eyes made contact with his, revealing the color to be a shadowed blue-green. And then, it was gone again.

There was no mistaking it. Every Gothamite knew the Tragedy of Jason Todd-Wayne, Bruce Wayne's second son. The face belonged to an older man, but who said that a malevolent spirit couldn't trick the mind?

“T- Timmy, the f- face-”

Tim looked around. “What face, Bern?” he asked in concern, seeing his boyfriend pale before his very eyes.

“A- a guy, he looks so sad and mean-”

“Baby, there's no one there,” Tom soothed Bernard worriedly, his mind racing. Unless, of course... “Oh.”

“Oh?”

“Jason.”

Bernard shrieked thinly. “Jason Todd? I was right? His ghost is haunting your house?”

Tim, sensing the potential for mischief, nodded with faux seriousness. “His restless spirit comes back to see us sometimes. He mainly haunts Dick though, calls him names and eats his cookies.”

“But Jason is good boy,” Cass said hurriedly.

“Are we talking about Todd?” Damian asked, returning with the now bandaged bird who was sitting in his hair. “Has he returned?”

“Apparently,” Tim said. “I wonder what brought him back.”

“Grayson made Pennyworth’s cookies,” Damian replied. “That is enough for Todd to come sniffing around.”

“Dick is wearing leggings today,” Cass mused. “Jason likes... to throw... coins at his butt.”

“Makes Dick squeal like a piggy,” Tim nodded sagely. “We should put Jason at rest,” he said meaningfully.

Damian, Princeling of Chaos, cottoned on immediately. “I shall bring the sage.”

Cass said nothing, but bounced happily.

The fabulous four tripped into the kitchen, where, true to form, Jason was flicking pennies at a harassed Dick's behind.

“Begone, ghoul!” Damian cried, and lit the sage leaves on fire, making both Dick and Jason startle. When everybody was distracted, Cass flicked a smoke bomb on, filling the room with thick smoke. Hopefully, Jason would take the hint to disappear.

Only when the smoke cleared, Jason was still there, looking very buff and angry and intimidating.

“W-w-what?” Bernard quivered, coming over faint in Tim’s arms, as though his noodle arms could support a swooning boyfriend.

“Oh. Ha ha,” Tim laughed nervously. “So you already know about Jason, so this will be a short introduction-”

It would have to wait, as Bernard flopped over, completely comatose.

***

Bernard came back to consciousness to the sight of Bruce Wayne. “Bernard, you're awake, excellent. I must apologize for my children, they are fools.”

“B-b-but Jason!”

“Jason is not dead, son,” Bruce sighed. “It was a cover story to put some very dangerous people off his scent. Everything is fine now, but Jason rather enjoys the feeling of anonymity this gives him. Though honestly, Jay, just go down to the precinct and get re-registered as living, it's been years-”

“Can't stop won't stop. Hey Bern,” Jason smiled. “You alright?”

“Yes?”

“Oh good. Someone go get Tim, the kid's in hysterics about you.”

Bernard's tender heart broke. Tim was distraught over him? Dick opened the door and a tear streaked Tim ran inside. “Bernard! I'm so sorry! I didn't think that Jason would be home, and I wanted to get him out! Please, won't you forgive me!”

“You were only trying to help your brother, Tim,” Bernard said, his heart clenching painfully at the sight of Tim's mascara running down his face. He reached over and hugged Tim close.

“Ahem.”

“Oop, sorry Mr. Wayne, sir,” Bernard said, jumping away.

Bruce smiled. “It's alright, Bernard. Just know, I'm always watching. And anything that you do to Tim, I'll have Jason do to you.”

Jason smiled evilly as Tim and Bernard shrunk away, but failed to escape the powerful, hairy hug they were pulled into.

“Well Bernard,” Jason said, as both boys struggled, “welcome to the family.”

#tim drake #bruce wayne #batfam #batman #dick grayson #damian wayne #jason todd #batfamily #red hood #red robin #robin #robin dc #cassandra cain #bernard dowd #dcu #batbros #fluff #crack #humor

[kindaangelic]

Tim stared at his father in shock.

Bruce had memed.

Bruce had used a meme correctly and disparaged Hal Jordan.

Tim ran home as fast as his little legs could carry him (knocking Scarecrow into the sewer in the process. Hopefully Killer Croc would eat him). Bursting into the cave, chest heaving, Tim gasped out, “BRUCE KNOWS ABOUT MEMES”.

Jason fell out of the dinosaur's mouth and on top of Cass, squishing her delicate form in the process.

Dick gasped and looked photogenic, while Damian continued to look like he was a wart growing out of Dick's hip.

“Are you sure, Tim?” Dick asked, walking swiftly over to feel Tim's forehead for an elevated temperature. “Timmy, you're warm!”

“W-what?”

“Your forehead's warm,” Dick repeated, looking concerned.

“Drake must have forgotten his medicines again, his brain mired in the lustful fog of face-timing the Clone,” Damian hissed.

“I am flat,” Cass moaned, where Jason was trying to peel her off the floor apologetically. “Someone care for me!”

“I gotcha,” Jason muttered, and peeled his slightly more two dimensional sister up. “Honestly, Tim. You probably had a fever dream.”

“No!” Tim cried. “I know the truth!”

“Its ok, Timmy,” Dick said, his smile gentle and indulgent. “Let's get you to bed.”

“No! No!” Tim wept in horror and confusion. What was happening? Was any of this real? Did Bruce meme?

A sudden heaviness overtook Tim's tiny body, and he fell asleep in Dick's arms, his thoughts still spinning.

***

“Honestly, Jay, you didn't need to tranquilize him,” Dick tutted, from where Tim was slumped in his arms.

“Oh, then you try to get him to bed! You can't argue with the results, Dick!”

***

Tim woke with a groan, opening his eyes to see Bruce looking concernedly at him.

“B- Bruce?”

Bruce smiled and brushed his hand against Tim's cheek. “Good morning.”

“What happened?”

“Jason shot you with a tranquilizer last night, too get you to sleep.”

Tim scowled. “Did anyone avenge me?”

“Sure,” Bruce said, and in the next second upended Tim's life again. “I yeeted him to his room.”

No no no no no...

“AAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHH!”

Batman made one (1) meme one time and it was the best moment of Robin’s life.

#bruce wayne #tim drake #batfam

[kindaangelic]

do you have an ao3?

YES

My ao3 account is Living_Free

Come join me in the pain pool, friend :')

[kindaangelic]

Robin Musings, as per Cyborg

aka Victor Stone, Ph.D. (Cybernetics), M.Sc. (Being Swole)

Robin I/ Nightwing

Bro, you're so squishy and human

Do you want a cybernetic

We have lasers :)

Batman won't even let you get a tattoo, so a cybernetic is out of the question huh

You can just...not tell your ugly dad

Oh lord

I saw something move in the shadows

It's your awful dad, aw hell naw-

Robin II/Red Hood

Please tell me you left your dad at home

Cool :D

So. I heard you came back from the dead.

... leave any limbs in the grave?

Because I can totally hook you up with a new arm or three

Robin III/ Red Robin

The tantalizing scent of coffee...

The little burn scars from soldering experiments...

Those dead, owl eyes...

It's a fellow tech nerd!

Let's hit up the Apple Genius Bar :)

Not to buy anything!

But to critique their easily shattered screens

Robin IV/ Spoiler

You know the best part of being a cyborg?

Cybernetic stomach

:D

To the breakfast buffet!

Robin III again

Hey Tim

How did you like the cybernetic laser bellybutton piercing

What do you mean your dad flipped out

He grounded you?

Aren't you, like, the CEO

Robin V/ Damian

Psst

Hey kid

Want a cybernetic?

What do you mean “no”

Grayson says you're “perfect the way you are”

What do you mean he pats your head afterwards

...fine

Pat pat pat

#batman #dick grayson #damian wayne #jason todd #tim drake #red hood #batfamily #nightwing #bruce wayne #victor stone #cyborg #cyborg dc #stephanie brown #dcu #robin musings #robin dc #red robin #batbros #batfam #fluff #crack #humor

[kindaangelic]

reblog to beat the joker to death

[kindaangelic]

Robin Musings, as per Billy Batson

aka Shazam, Ph.D. (Emotional Maturity), M.A. (Adulting)

Right. So. More Robin Musings?

Robin I/Nightwing

Wowie- um, I mean-

*affects deep voice* Wowie

Mr. Batman said that you were my babysitter

Can we go on patrol later please

I know Mr. Batman's stance on metas

But he said that I was okay to come over

He likes me

Can't think as to why tho :)

Robin II/Red Hood

Gasp

You have A Gun!

GASP

You said A Bad Word!!

One dollar in the swear jar please

What do you mean, I should cuss too

Adults cuss?

I mean- I am above such behaviors

Good day to you, fellow adult

Robin III/Red Robin

Hello Timmy

Does Mr. Batman know thay you're sneaking out

You're in love! That's so nice! (＾ω＾)

Oh no, your dad doesn't allow you to unite with Superboy

Is Mr. Batman... evil? He hates love?

Robin IV/ Spoiler

I didn't know Robin could be a girl

I just assumed that Mr. Wayne tried to clone Dick and it went really badly

So, how am I adulting so far

Is it convincing?

Yes I do need to stock my adult pantry like an adult would

Yes, I would like more waffle mix

Seems a very adult choice

Robin III again

So I confronted your dad about him hating love

He grounded me :(

Wait

He can't ground me!

...

Apparently he can :(

Robin V/ Damian

:D

I can tell that we're going to be best friends

Let me introduce you to the world of nice things and arcades

In return, you can teach me math and make *tt* noises when I don't get trignometry

Let's go play

Dodge-sword is NOT an appropriate game

Neither is Pin The Knife On The Joker :(

And Jason is NOT the adult supervision

#batman #dick grayson #damian wayne #jason todd #tim drake #red hood #batfamily #nightwing #robin musings #robin dc #robin #red robin #stephanie brown #bruce wayne #shazam #billy batson #dcu #batfam #batbros #fluff #crack #humor

[kindaangelic]

have you read the new batfam webtoon??? it's called batman: wayne family adventures

I HAVE IT IS GLORIOUS AND I AM UNWORTHY