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mrsharlingx · 3 years

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‘But I love him’...

4 simple words that can destroy so many great women, their confidence and their ability to think as their own person.

‘But he loves me’...

4 simple words that can cause you to loose all self control, create a false idea of reality in your mind and trick you to build a relationship based on lies and false hope.

Now, I’m no expert on relationships, nor am I a guru of love. But what I do know, is that if you ever find your self saying either of these sentences to try and justify your partner’s behaviour, then something is not right. And instead of ignoring these huge red flags, and choosing to completely disregard the problem because of what you ‘believe’ could potentially happen, you’d be saving your self a lot of time and tears to just face your fears and address the matter first hand. No matter how rough it may be.

Time is a healer, and you will find your self healing a lot quicker with in a shorter period of time, rather then trying to stabilise your self in an imbalanced relationship. That’s less time to be fed a false sense of reality, less time to be able to fall in deeper into something that’s not really there, and less chance of having your heart broken so badly, that it seems almost impossible to repair.

Speaking first hand, I’ve always been able to walk away from toxic relationships at the first sign of trouble. I suppose this strength of mine has saved me a lot of misery then what could have happened if I didn’t listen to my heart. However, I have also experienced that gut wrenching feeling of being anguished and disappointed. But generally speaking, it’s nothing compared to what I have experienced recently. I never knew a man could destroy a woman in so many ways, so many times and the woman go back after every incident with open arms, happy to do so and expecting things to change. In the animal world, they call this ‘insanity’, which is how I’ve been seeing some of my friends lately.

What was once some of the greatest women I know have been fiercely ripped apart, unable to picture a life worth living with out the being who is making them miserable, forcing them to question their self worth and everything they thought they once was. For so long these women chose to believe that they was happy, and held on to the very few good times over the repeated, soul destroying hard times. The signs were all there, the que to leave was incredibly long on so many occasions, but yet we ignore these ridiculously loud silences because we’d rather hear the lies then face any of the harsh truths.

Personally, if my husband turned around tomorrow with his bags packed ready to leave, the last thing I would do is beg. He’s already made up his made for him to do something so extreme. Would it really make sense to continue as normal and play happy families, on the basis of something that just clearly isn’t there? What would that for me? Further more, would that do for him?! That would effect both our mental health in such a way that it’s not even worth thinking about. One very unhappy man who feels trapped, treading on egg shells and trying to mask his true feelings to protect mine. One very miserable, paranoid, innocent woman, going to extreme lengths to please him and so desperate to make it work. Come on, you’ve both got to be in it.

If I caught my husband cheating, or deleting messages, anything that’s disrespectful towards me or that threatens our marriage...he would be gone. No questions asked. As much as it would kill me and break my heart, obviously there must be something missing for him that I can’t, nor will I ever fulfill. No matter what we’ve built, I wouldn’t waste my time trying to fix it when it wasn’t me who knocked it down.

Unfortunately, if two people aren’t meant to be together, there will be always be some kind of obstacle in the way. I admire these women for really trying, but sometimes enough is just enough. You’ve got to recognise the signs and learn when to call it a day. Other wise, you’re just setting your self up for failure and breaking your own heart. It’s sad, but it’s true.

To all the beautiful ladies out there, who feel inclined to try and build something, or continue an unhealthy, toxic relationship with a man who has ruined everything you once was, you’re not alone. He’s said he’s sorry, ‘it won’t happen again’. ‘It was just a one time thing, it meant nothing, I love you’. ‘Well, we was in a tough place at the time’. ‘The sex is boring’. Please do something for your selves. I’ve seen enough such beautiful, intelligent women suffer down to the sleazy hands of men, they really don’t deserve you.

Nothing will change, especially now they know they can get it away with it and walk all over you, because they know you will always be there. So why wouldn’t they want the best of both worlds? It’s time to do something about it. You can do anything and be who ever you want, no matter how old you are the world is your oyster. There’s so much more opportunities out there to be happy, that’s all it really comes down to. Self love is so important, and if you don’t love or respect your self, you will forever be chasing after men who don’t love you either. Your short time on earth is far too precious, to be wasted on someone who has no regards for your feelings.

#self love #iamenough #independant women #strong #i am beautiful #love more #loveyourself #waste my time #freshstart #start again

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mrsharlingx · 3 years

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Here’s a food for thought... 🌍 💭

I think it’s genuinely mind blowing, The Law of Attraction. I’m not one to manifest or ‘ask the universe’ to help me achieve goals, that can physically only be achieved by myself. I’ve never really understood the idea of it or what it entails, I’m more of a science kind of girl. You know, facts. So when I first heard that actual people like me and you, were going as far as writing letters to a mysterious, invisible force whom we know nothing about...you can kind of figure how I felt towards this. ‘Are you kidding me?!’.

How ever it turns out, that the people of today are not as crazy as you would think. The past few months have been so overwhelming for me. Exciting but, overwhelming.

‘Sorry, you are being made redundant’. ‘Miss Blades, I’m afraid your contract has fallen through’. ‘We’ve had to cut your hours due to Covid-19’. Oh well, I mean least we’re still getting married! Oh wait, no we’re not. The wedding is back on! ‘Have you seen Boris’ announcement? Only 4 people allowed at the ceremony, make sure you wear a mask!’. Have we got a moving date yet for Cyprus? When are they shipping all of our belongings? ‘Your shipment is delayed and can take up to 9 weeks’. ‘Your flight has been changed, and we’re putting you in a different house’ - after months of planning and preparing for the one we were originally given!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m so grateful for Cyprus. Even the sunshine just makes all the difference to your day. But since I’ve been here, I’ve been struggling to find work. Now I don’t know about you, but gaining a husband does not mean I’ve gained an extra source of income. The option is there, how ever I refuse to take it! I have always worked from an extremely young age, and I would not choose to live any other way. Independence is such a huge part of a woman’s life, and it’s something we once had to fight for. So this is something that really effects me and my independence, probably more then it should.

Last night while I was struggling to sleep, I decided to ‘ask the universe’ for some help. Speak to my self in the mirror and project all of my goals and wishes out into the open to be granted. I won’t lie, I felt very silly. I didn’t go as far as addressing a hand written letter to Mother Nature her self, but I suppose it was a start. You won’t believe this next part, prepare to be mind blown. This morning when I’d woken up, the universe had responded 💭 But not quite how I imagined it. The first correspondence from the Almighty was in an email!

‘Dear Mrs Harling, we would like to invite you for an interview on 3rd March 2021’. My jaw nearly fell to the floor. Did this shit really work? Hell, I’m gonna ask the universe for next weeks lotto roll over! The second sign from the Almighty, was a phone call from my fathers lovely girlfriend, Sara.

‘Babe, you’re never going to believe this. The local news paper at home want you to write a full two page feature! Here’s the best part, it’s all about makeup!’. I really could not believe what I was hearing. Is this all it takes? Is ‘positive vibes, positive mind’ really true? A little flutter of the eyelash to my surroundings in order to attract everything I want in life? Because believe me, I’m a pro! I did it for most of my teen years to my father for spending money.

As you can tell I was very reluctant about all of this. I am in no way saying that it worked or that I’ve got the universe to thank, because all of this could of just been mere coincidence. But something happened today that you just could not explain. Weeks of shitty sleep and feeling helpless, I decided to try an alternative. And maybe tonight I’ll sleep just that little bit better. ❤️🧚🏽‍♀️

What do you think?

#positivity #positive thoughts #positive blog #good vibes #law of the universe #law of attraction #manifestyourlife #manifestingdreams #manifestyourreality #masters of the universe #love #ask the universe #glitter in your veins #you can do this #happy #life is beautiful #food for thought #science #mother nature

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mrsharlingx · 3 years

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💓 Connecting with old friends 💓

There’s nothing quite like meeting up with your old school friends. Seeing friends from college or rekindling with distant childhood companions, sharing all of your great memories together and awing over what you have become.

Today I took a big step of my own, as I know did the friend in question. A childhood friend (I would go as far as saying sisters), one very bad break up and two souls left completely ripped apart. We’d spent 14 years together, until 1 silly argument was completely blown out of the water, resulting in us both not speaking or seeing each other for over a year at this point. 14 years of laughing until we couldn’t breathe. 14 years of deep friendship, that family kind of bond that you don’t get with anyone else. 14 years of dance routines, sleep overs and late nights. Heart breaks and stupid boys, spending every single day together and vowing to never tell each other’s deepest, darkest secrets. 14 years of memories and bad outfits, completely banished in the click of a finger.

I’ve never experienced a falling out like this before, hardly ever. We were attached at the hip to say the least. We lived right across the road from each other. We attended the same schools, both junior and secondary. From the minute we met it was like we filled a hole in each other’s lives that we didn’t know we had, it felt the opposite the day we parted. We both left a hole in each other’s life. It has been on my mind lately, especially at night. God forbid anything happened to one of us, would I really be able to sleep at night with how things ended? Absolutely not. I’m a very forgiving person and was thinking about reaching out for a long time, but I held back in fear of rejection.

Today she reached out to me. I was so nervous, I didn’t know what to expect. We hadn’t spoken in over a year which is crazy, and far too long compared to our usual silly bickers and blow ups. As children we would fight with each other and be best friends again with in the hour, but I suppose that’s what sisters do. It has been lovely to say the least, she said things about me that I’d forgotten myself and nobody else would understand. We’ve reconnected in such a beautiful way that it just makes everything else seem so much better. I genuinely feel as though a hole has been refilled, I feel at peace and very content with life.

As I mentioned it was a very bad breakup, because it was. It was awful and so extreme, but I suppose that everything that’s happened has lead to this beautiful moment. And I for one, I’m so happy that this has happened. I’ve learnt a lot recently about friends, especially suffering through a pandemic. It has helped me to see who my friends really are, and she was always one of them. Unfortunately we both just had a lot of things we needed to sort out in our own lives, and here we are now. Back together at such a force and ready to take on the world.

If there’s anyone in your life, who’s no longer IN your life, just ask your self; was it really worth it? If the world ended tomorrow, would you honestly be happy with how it ended? How things turned out? Life really is far too short and you never know what’s waiting for you round the corner. Take the opportunity and grab it with both hands. Reconnect, call your friends regularly and remind your mum you love her. Laugh more, travel and absolutely do not stop until you’ve got what you want out of life. The world can be such a beautiful place, if you let it 💗

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