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redxntheledger · 3 years

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Avengers as things I’ve overheard at work part 3

Tony: Steve you’re a lesbian right?

Steve: do I have depression? I don’t think so? Why are you asking me that?

Clint: what do you mean innuendos I never make innuendos!

Clint five seconds later: Can you move up a bit I’m trying to come beneath you.

Natasha: sometimes when a customer leaves the door open I go, slam it shut, and then stand in front of them and glare for a few seconds. They often will tip really well out of sheer terror.

Bruce: You’re really testing my limits. If you don’t fucking do your job I will break you

The coffee machine:

Tony: I’m so attractive, that’s why we’re busy today, the customers want to see my face

Thor: such a large ego for such a small man

Rhodey: the words you’re looking for is miniature and boy

Tiny: Tony: you’re supposed to be mature!

Tony: I’d make a great chiropractor. I break people’s backs every night

Bruce: chiropractors fix backs

Tony: if no backs are broke their are no backs to fix. Break the back for a pay check. Have you never heard that phrase?

Bruce: no because you just made it up

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redxntheledger · 3 years

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Avengers as things i’ve overheard at work pt 2

Steve: You’re kind of being terrible at your job Tony: But I’m not the worst Steve: But you’re- Tony: But I’m not the worst, look me in the eyes and tell me I’m the worst barista here. I dare you.

Clint: So this is Steve, you have to respect him because he’s been at this cafe for a long time Clint: This is Natasha, I don’t even think about insulting her Wanda: Didn’t she say you guys got hired at the same time? Clint: This isn’t about hierarchy she just terrifies me

Tony: So every customer is in love with me, it’s just the power I hold when I’m on this side of the counter.

Natasha: Fun take on your previous statement, all the customers hate you and talk about the annoying barista and you’re their like, classic story for awkward silences. Tony: ...

Tony: So all of the customers hate me and I probably should stay hidden behind the counter and not interact with them!

Bruce: Just handed a drink to a customer Bruce: Couldn’t decide between You’re welcome! and No Problem! after they said thank you Sam: Bruce: Sam: so what did you say Bruce: ᴵ ˢᵃᶦᵈ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵖʳᵒᵇˡᵉᵐᵎ Sam: Bro one time I said ‘Have a day’ instead of ‘have a good day’

Thor: So that’s how I ended up on Earth with these idiots- Steve: Thor, there are other customers who need to use the cash. Thor who just spent 40 minutes talking to one (1) couple: Bye! Say hi to your cats and dogs and plants for me!

Tony: Got eight hours of sleep consecutively over the course of three days Steve: You know consecutively means in a row... Tony: I know- oh. fuck. well over the past three day’s I have collectively slept eight hours! Isn’t that what the doctors recommend anyways Clint: So, this is why your short.

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redxntheledger · 3 years

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Avengers as things I’ve overheard at work (pt 1?)

Bruce: I’m calm, I’m calm, I’m calm- Clint: So, the credit card machine just broke Bruce: FUCK- Bruce: Sorry, we’re working off of very little sleep and very high levels of stress.

Tony: wait so do I put this up here or- Steve: On the bottom Tony: ... YoU sAiD BoTtoM

Tony: And that’s how my parents knew I was going to be a whore at age six.

Natasha: If I could, I would rip your vocal chords out right now. Tony: If I walk towards the customers you can’t even touch me.

Bucky: Oh, yeah, and Steve used to like- what was it you called yourself? Oh god, wait I think I actually have a video of- Steve: I WILL NOT HESITATE TO GET YOU FIRED YOU ASSHOLE PUT THE PHONE DOWN OR I- Hi, how may I help you today? Are you guys all ready to order?

Bucky: *reaches past sam to grab something* Sam: * jumps spilling coffee in the process * This is why we can’t sometimes taser people and other times just be normal Bucky, it’s one or the other. Choose.

Tony: Do we have anything caffeinated? Natasha: Tony, this is a coffee shop. Tony: It’s too early for riddles just answer my fucking question.

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