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bil-daddy · 4 months

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hi mr bildad um im just gonna dump this here since i have no one else to talk to

as someone who has always praised in their ability to be friends with anyone (i also need human interaction to survive btw) ive been feeling very lonely, especially since now are the school holidays.

my best friend (who is one year older than me) is barely online and doesn't take me seriously enough. and when i ask my friend group (with 2 other people my age) if they want to go out nothing happens. ive asked so many times but it's like they just don't want to hang out. and i keep seeing them post everywhere of them having fun with their OTHER friends (i don't know them bc they're from their primary schools; we are in secondary school now). and the obvious solution is to hang out with my primary school friends, right? well awesome news I DONT HAVE ANY.

and like ive just been feeling really really lonely especially today. i don't even text anyone except for my best friend, and even then she doesnt really respond properly because its like i dump a lot of messages and 4 hours later she skims through them, rinse and repeat.

(also side note i used to have another best friend but he ended up having a crush on me and didn't give me space so i kinda ended the friendship bc i wasn't comfortable with it)

during my entire TWO MONTH school holiday i haven't gone out with friends. not even once. while i see everyone else my age having so much fun and enjoying life while i just rot at home scrolling through tumblr.

so yeah im not really having a great time. hopefully when i get back to school in january things will be better

sorry for the long rant

Hey, kid (human). No need to apologize for the long rant. Actually, I've got a lot to say about this topic, too, so take a toilet break, grab a beverage and a snack, then sit down with your deal old Bildaddy (platonic, metaphorical) for a chat.

First off, sorry you're going through this. It hurts a lot when friends start fading away, and you realize they no longer consider you as close and you consider them. Feeling left out and like you don't have any real friends seriously sucks.

But it's actually something every single person goes through at some time or another--though most of us aren't brave enough to admit it like you have, because it feels embarrassing and shameful. Like there's something wrong with you.

There isn't.

There is nothing wrong with you.

Friends come and go, and 99% of the time it has nothing to do with you, or anything you've said or done. It isn't your fault. That doesn't mean it hurts any less, but it isn't your fault.

But that being said, I promise you, for every person you see pictures of having so much fun and enjoying life, there are twenty--probably even more--at home like you, scrolling tumblr, or tiktok, or reddit, or whatever the kids are scrolling these days.

And even those people you see posting pictures, that isn't their everyday life. They post pics of the good times, not the bad ones (well not usually) or the boring ones. Especially not the boring ones. I bet they do more sitting at home and scrolling than you think. They're just not advertising that for all their followers to see.

But that's not the point. The point is (dolphins! goats!) your current friends aren't fulfilling your need for socialization. And that means you need to find some new friends, anon.

You can still stay friends with your best friend and that old friend group. As in, don't send them a message officially ending the friendship, and don't delete and/or block them everywhere. You can still talk to them in school when you see them.

(Do unfollow them on social media if seeing them hang without you is upsetting--or better yet, pause on using social media entirely--except for tumblr, of course--until you're in a better place, mentally and emotionally. Bildaddy deleted instagram five years ago and never went back.)

But starting today, back off on asking these friends to hang out, and sending long text messages to your best friend that she only skims through. They're not matching your energy, so you need to start matching theirs. Either they'll notice the difference and start making more of an effort (no, not that kind), or they won't and they won't. But either way, you'll stop wasting your time.

Next, you take all the energy you were spending on your old friend group and start looking for new friends.

While you're still on winter break, there might not be as many opportunities, but there are some possibilities. Do you have any cousins around your age who might wanna hang out? Or maybe there are local events aimed at teenagers you can attend? Check libraries and community centers. Or on New Year's Eve, there might be some sort of Parents Night Out event you can volunteer for and help babysit a group of little kids, along with other teenagers that you could befriend?

Then, when winter break ends, look around your school for other students who might be in your same situation--and trust me there are others in your same situation. Is there someone who always sits alone at lunch? Or what about that kid in class who's too shy to speak up? Is there someone getting bullied or ostracized? Someone new to the school who hasn't made any friends yet? Look for the ones who might need a friend as much--or even more--than you do and try to befriend them.

It won't always work, no, cause nothing always works. But it will work sometimes. And you only need it to work enough times to make a couple friends. And if you make the right friend, they might have a friend group that you can join.

I know it's really scary to put yourself out there and make the first move. But you'd be surprised how receptive people are, especially the shy ones who are too scared to say 'hi' first, and rely on the braver ones, like you, for the human connection they need. Because we all need it. (Even me. Because I'm totally 100% human.)

Other ways to make friends are clubs, in school and out of school, which is probably what adults will suggest if you ask them, so I'm not going to spend much time on this. But they're right. If you're not already in clubs--academic, sports, art, books, music, anime, whatever your interest(s) is--join some! If there's nothing of interesting at your schools, churches and other local organizations might also have youth clubs and activities, too.

Shared interests in a sure way to make friends. I see it happening all the time on Tumblr. Those mutuals you wish didn't live so far away? Well, you can find mutuals just like them IRL! (Especially if you start or join a book club that reads Good Omens, or a tv show club that watches Good Omens)

Another option is getting a part-time job at a place other teenagers work. If this is something you can do without disrupting your schoolwork, try it. Fast food restaurants, cinemas, places like that.

You say you're someone who has the ability to be friends with anyone? Well, prove it! This isn't a threat, by the way. This is encouragement. I'm encouraging you.

Now go out there and make some friends, kid! I know you can do it! I believe in you, and everybody here is rooting for you.

And, as always, have an ox rib (platonic)

#bildaddy answers #life advice from bildaddy (results may vary)#have an ox rib (platonic)#bildaddy #bildad brainrot #bildad nation #bildad the shuhite army #oh bildad we're really in it now #oh bildad the shuhite we're really in it now #bildad my beloved #shutanic temple #bildad the shuite #bildad #bildad the shuhite #bilday #obstetrician thursday

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getvalentined · 28 days

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Was talking on the twits about how "not mine" isn't a source, and how you shouldn't be posting other people's art in general but definitely shouldn't be posting other people's art without at least linking back to them, and thinking about the most egregious example of this that I have personally experienced. I haven't really talked about it to anyone because it seems almost petty compared to the rest of the related situation, but bothers me more every time I think about it.

I think most of the people who know me are aware of my old in-character askblog, @askvincentvalentine; I'm redrawing all entries to eventually release as a solo anthology, but I have a lot of anxiety about it and it's going very slow. I think this hesitation (I might even call it apprehension) is in large part connected to this unspoken experience, and maybe finally talking about it will help.

A month or two before we broke up, I found out that my abusive ex had reposted every Ask Vincent Valentine entry to his personal Facebook, starting years before we really met, never linking back to Vincent's blog or to mine. He'd reposted a lot of my art, actually, and treated this like a totally normal thing, saying it wasn't a big deal since we didn't know each other at the time.

Looking back, it's a little...creepy. We met properly in 2020, but I remember him showing me a screenshot of a post he'd made in like 2015 where he reposted a piece of mine drawn in 2005, posted on my original dA account, under a different handle that is pretty much completely unconnected to my current online identity. I'm not saying he was stalking me for years or anything (I'd seen his fanfiction on AO3 for ages so it's not like we were unaware of each other's existence), but it still feels really fucking weird.

On top of that, by reposting it to that particular platform, he allowed my work to eventually be scraped to train multiple gen/A/I models without my consent. As if he didn't mistreat me enough during our relationship, he'd apparently been taking advantage of my work for years before that.

The more I think about it, the more it bothers me. Like...what the fuck, honestly. I don't have any other way to quantify it other than "what the fuck."

Just...why would he do that? And he didn't tell me about it until years into us knowing each other. When I said (as gently as possible) that I didn't like it, he said that he couldn't ask me back then because he didn't know me, so it was okay—and it would have been okay by now anyway, since we were in a relationship, so it wasn't like I was gonna tell him to take the posts down.

I don't know. It's bothering me a lot recently. Reposting other people's art without even trying to credit is bad enough, but this just feels like some next-level bullshit.

#personal #the [redacted] files

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bluestar22x · 4 months

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You Had Me From Hello

The Writing Contest - Chapter 1: You Had Me From Hello

Summary: Unexpectedly, small town woman Nora Delaine wins a writing contest and is flown first class to Salinas Valley to meet her new screenwriting partner.

Pairing: Javi Gutierrez x Female!OC (Nora Delaine)

Rating: 18+ Series

Word Count: 5,500(ish)

Warnings: Second person POV, mentions of drug use/addiction/loss and troubles with unhealthy family dynamics.

Author’s Note: I took inspiration for Javi's new home from this moodboard made by @wildemaven.

xxx

This is insane. I can't believe I'm actually going through with this.

That's what you were thinking as you settled into your seat in first class on a Southwest Airline plane headed for the airport in Monterey, California where you would then take a taxi to Salinas Valley, arguably the capital of the wine industry in the United States. But that's not why you were headed there. Nope.

You were headed to one of the vineyards, but it wasn't to taste test wine and forget your troubles, it was to write with an apparently well known up-and-coming screenwriter named Javi Gutierrez, who until last week you personally hadn't known existed. Your best friend, Sierra Washington, however, had apparently heard plenty of him.

"You didn't!" you gasped, letting the letter in your hands float down to your kitchen table.

"I did!" your friend Sierra confirmed, grinning ear to ear.

"You entered my short story into a writing contest without my permission?" you hissed. You didn't feel that it had been anywhere near ready to be seen by anyone outside Sierra. When you'd sent her the document to proof read you'd trusted her not to share it with anyone else, and she'd betrayed that trust. You were furious.

"Aw, Nora, you were never going to release that document to anyone else if I didn't do it myself," she argued, placing a hand on her hip. "How many stories have I proof read for you? I loved every bit of them, yet every single one eventually ended up hidden in a file on your laptop and forgotten."

"They weren't good enough," you told her.

"Nothing ever is," she said, throwing her hands up in frustration. "You were stuck! You needed a little push. This is it. An opportunity to turn your story into a movie. Your dream!"

"I can't go to Salinas Valley for two months," you howled. "I haven't even found a new job yet!"

You'd recently been laid off from the pet magazine you'd been writing for since you turned twenty-five, nearly ten years ago, because of budget cuts a month ago and were having difficulty finding another job like it. You feared you might end up having to take a local job, instead of an online one, most likely waiting on tables. The thought of that made you cringe. You didn't like having to deal with the public. Even in a town as small as yours.

"Precisely!" Sierra exclaimed. "You need to work, and that's what this would be. You'd turn your story into a properly lengthy script with his help, and when it is bought you'll get money for it, along with some profits later on when the film is successful."

You snorted. "When?"

She narrowed her eyes at you. "When." Her tone was firm, certain.

You couldn't understand why she had so much faith in you when you'd spent most of your life failing. You'd struggled in college and you'd struggled to find a job and keep it for years. Writing for the pet magazine had felt mundane as far as writing went, but you'd been good at it and you'd finally felt like you had secured your future.

You should've known better with how the world was changing. Your generation and younger didn't read magazines anymore. You'd entered a dying industry that likely had an expiration date that would come before your retirement age.

"I can't afford to pay for another rent while I stay there," you continued.

She huffed. "Did you not read the part where it says all expenses will be paid? You'd be staying at his vineyard for free. You'd just need cash for extras. Like if you want take out or something."

"Staying at his vineyard..." You shook your head and met her copper brown eyes with your emerald green ones. "You really think I should be staying at a strange man's house, by myself?"

"He has tons of staff," she argued. "It's not much different from going on vacation and staying in a hotel by yourself."

You gave her an exasperated look. "That's way different! It's a private business and his staff aren't going to be there at night unless his runs it twenty-four seven."

"He knows Nic Cage," Sierra informed you, like that would make a difference to you. "They're friends. Javi's first screenplay was co-written with him."

You rolled your eyes. "Just cause you had a crush on Nic Cage in high school after you watched City of Angels and researched him, doesn't mean you know him and his friends."

"I did NOT have a crush on him," Sierra nearly shouted. "He's like three times my age."

"You did then."

"I did not."

You smirked and lifted your brows. "Thou protest too much."

She gritted her teeth, knowing full well that she wouldn't be able convince you otherwise. Because she had, in fact, had a celebrity crush on Nic Cage in high school.

She sighed. "Look. Sometimes you've got to take risks to gain the rewards. You can buy pepper spray when you land in California or something if it'll make you feel better. But I haven't heard anything about Javi Gutierrez that would suggest he'd be dangerous. And you wouldn't be sleeping in his mansion. You'd be in a guest house on the opposite side of the property. It overlooks some beautiful hills and valleys apparently. I did some research on Valley View Vineyard. That's his vineyard's name, fittingly. Anyway, it's apparently gorgeous in that area."

You had to admit to yourself a part of you was very tempted to say yes, not just to having help making a screenplay and selling it, but also to living in a California vacation destination for a while. You could use a break from your hometown.

"I can't," you said stubbornly. "I can't leave Buttercup and Tux with no one to watch them, and it wouldn't be fair to them to travel them out to California by plane. I wouldn't feel good about them being in cargo either. They're delicate creatures."

Buttercup and Tux were your two pet Lop rabbits, who you'd adopted as a bonded pair from a nearby animal shelter three years ago.

"I can watch them," Sierra offered. "I've done it for you before when you stayed in the hospital last year for food poisoning."

"Don't remind me," you groaned. That week had been the worst in your life and had put you off of salmon permanently.

She winced sympathetically. "Sorry."

"Look, even if I wanted to part from them for two freakin months," you started, sighing again, "Even if I wanted to go to California and write a script with a legit screenplay writer, my parents wouldn't approve. You know how worried they get."

"Yeah, I know," Sierra said with another huff. "I grew up with the product of their paranoia."

You couldn't help but laugh a little at that. Paranoia was a fitting word for it. Your parents were worry-warts. Especially since your older brother had died, leaving you as their only living child. Saying you were overprotected seemed to put it too simply. And you in turn were very wary of the world. Maybe too much. You'd turned down a lot of interesting parties and adventures with friends in favor of safety. You'd wanted to join your high school's travel club but had chickened out. Girls got kidnapped in foreign countries, after all.

The little voice in your head telling you such things sounded more like your mother's than yours.

"They'll say no," you added.

"Good thing you're a grown ass adult," Sierra reminded you firmly. "And you could lie and say you're staying at a rental to ease their minds."

You gave her a lopsided smile. "You're a bad influence on me, Ms. Washington."

"Somebody has to be!" she claimed.

You raked a hand through your shoulder length wavy brown hair as you silently debated over what choice to make. Stay or go. Safety or risk. You chewed your lip. "Fine. I'll do it."

Sierra jumped in spot and clapped like someone half her age. She squealed for you. "Oh my god, my girl's finally breaking rules and making her dreams come true."

You pursed your lips and silently hoped she was right. After all, there were no guarantees in life.

The next day you'd emailed Javi's manager, Walter, who was in charge of overseeing the contest and had helped Javi narrow all the submitted stories down to one. He'd immediately booked you a flight and told you to pack your bags, after reassuring you that Javi's intentions were good. He was going to co-write with you, but you'd be the top billing writer to the screenplay. He wasn't looking to take any credit that wasn't his.

Still, as you boarded the plane one week later, you found yourself nervous about the whole deal. You'd had to sign a contract, and part of that contract had protection for you and your script, saying you had all the rights, and therefore would have the final say over how it was written and what film company got to buy it. All nice things to ease your troubled mind, but you were worried now, a bit too late, over whether or not Javi would be a good fit as a writing partner. You'd seen his first film The Unbearable Weight Of Massive Talent the same night Sierra had handed you the letter, having wanted to make sure he'd be helpful and not be a bad influence instead when it came to your writing, and that had ended your concerns over his talent. The film was a little too out there for your liking, but you saw the heart behind it, and that was something you could work with.

The main concern you'd had since then was rooted in personality. You had no idea what he was like. He was clearly rich, anyone with a successful vineyard and a mansion was, and that concerned you, a child of two full time working parents who'd struggled to provide you with everything they'd wanted to give you. You'd been taught work ethic, you'd been taught to be polite to coworkers. What were the chances he'd been too? You shouldn't assume he'd be the typical rich person seen in media. You didn't know how most rich people actually behaved, and even if most were dramatic snobby leeches, that didn't mean he was.

That didn't stop you from thinking about how he might be during the entire time it took for the plane to take off.

"Would you like some wine?" a flight attendant asked some time later, drawing you from your inner thoughts.

You glanced up at her and blinked. This was new. You'd never been offered drinks on a plane, though this was only your second time in your life, the first time being when your family took a week long trip to Disneyland. "Is it on the house?"

"Of course," she replied with a knowing smile. "First time in first class?"

"You could probably guess that just by looking at my clothes," you reckoned. Most of the people seated around you were in suits or fancy business dresses, while you were dressed in a simple pair of light blue jeans, a bubble gum pink sweatshirt, and plain white sneakers.

The flight attendant shrugged. "We don't always get people in here who dress expensively. But most know about the complementary wine."

"I might as well take some," you said, "For the full experience. Don't know the next time someone will pay a ticket for me."

She laughed. "Would you be interested in a Pinot Noir?"

You had no idea what that meant, only really knowing wine as red or white, but decided to roll with it. "Sure."

As the flight attendant poured you a drink in a proper wine glass, you noticed the name on it. Valley View Vineyard. You wondered how widespread Javi's wine was as you accepted the drink and took a cautious sip.

It was good wine. Good was a lacking word. It was excellent. Smooth, flavorful. Better than any other wine you'd ever tasted. You could only guess that it was fairly expensive and aged well. You had to restrain yourself from downing the whole thing in under a minute. Wine wasn't meant for that, even a lower class small town girl like yourself who usually drank wine from a box knew that.

You did, however, make sure to have enough time for another glass before your flight landed.

Monterey Regional Airport, where you landed, was twelve miles from Salinas Valley, or around twenty-five minutes away. It took you an extra five minutes to actually get to Valley View Vineyard, totaling the cost of your taxi ride to nearly one hundred dollars, something that would've made you shudder if you hadn't just flown for free. You'd have had the ride for free if you had accepted the limousine Walter had offered you, but you hadn't been about to get in one of those things with what you'd been wearing for your flight. Besides, you didn't like feeling like you were leeching, having a real need to pay for some of your trip expenses. If you and Javi were successful, you'd get way more money back in profits anyway.

Salinas Valley was cooler than you'd expected, the temperature hovering around fifty-seven degrees Fahrenheit. It was a vast improvement from the thirty-two degree average in North Dakota, but not as hot as you'd imagined the middle of California would be, even though it was coastal.

They did have plenty of sun that day, something you knew your hometown wasn't going to get for the next a few days, a couple days of clouds and a severe snowstorm expected for most of the state.

On the way to the vineyard you cracked the widow to breath in the fresh air and you stared out at the landscape as the taxi drove by it at precisely the speed limit.

Salinas was gorgeous, as Sierra had promised. You passed many luscious green fields, farmed and unfarmed alike, several vineyards, and plenty of rolling hills and valleys, the latter expected, considering the name of the county.

You were excited by the time you arrived at Valley View Vineyard, anxious to see what the property itself looked like. You'd known it was fairly massive for a vineyard, sitting on one hundred and ten acres, but when you'd looked it up online the day after you'd gotten the letter, there wasn't much photos of the place anywhere, even on the official website. Mostly it had been photos of the grapes, the wine, and the wine making process, and mainly had detailed that process and how to get your hands on a bottle. You'd avoided looking at the history page, wanting to find out from Javi himself how he came to own it.

The vineyard was gated, with elegant iron bars, and your taxi driver had to press a speaker button on a fence post to be let in. Both sides of the tarred driveway was lined with bushes, leading up to the mansion, a Spanish styled home with arches you'd never seen before outside movies and TV shows that had taken place in Spain or South America. Beyond that were grape vines in every direction until they met the hills that bordered the area.

Walter was waiting for you on the front porch, a man in his sixties, with surprisingly thick gray hair and a considerably youthful face. You imagined he had several more decades left in him if his appearance was anything to go by. It was probably in spite of his job. You couldn't imagine a manager of any kind having it too easy.

The dark gray pinsuit he was wearing made you feel very under dressed, but he shook your hand and introduced himself without even twitching an eye, and helped you carry your belongings to a yellow Jeep in the corner of the driveway.

"Javi will be here soon to personally show you around," he informed you. "I'll drop your bags off inside the guest house."

"You don't need to do that," you proclaimed, not wanting to be a burden to anyone. You didn't think it was part of a talent manager's job to bring suitcases anywhere.

"It's no problem," Walter promised you, hopping into the Jeep's driver's seat. "We will talk more later, when you are done touring, to sort out some more paperwork. Legal stuff. Stick by the front porch. That's where Javi asked me to tell you to be."

"Okay," you said, waving at him. "Thanks."

He nodded at you, a warm smile spreading across his face. "You're welcome, Miss Delaine."

"Nora," you corrected him. "I don't like formalities."

"That's something you'll have to get used to if you want to take part in Hollywood," Walter warned you, "But I will call you Nora by default, when appropriate."

Then he was on his way, leaving you to kick pebbles off the tar by the porch. It was nearly ten minutes later when you spotted a man approaching at a brisk walk from a large industrial looking building to your left.

He was wearing sunglasses, a thick long sleeved orange button down shirt, dark blue jeans, and tan boat shoes. He appeared to be in his early forties, with limited gray hair in his patchy, but well trimmed beard. His dark brown hair was short, but wildly curled, and his skin was golden, tanned from spending most of his days out in the sun.

As he neared you and pulled off his sunglasses, you noticed his eyes were dark like his hair, and that he was at least a half a foot taller than you, probably just shy of six feet. Taller than most people you'd ever been around, especially family, but not untypically tall for someone in Hollywood.

He was worthy of Hollywood, you'd thought. He was handsome, and that was an understatement as far as you were concerned. No boy in your high school graduating class could've held up beside him and you felt your insides warm as you studied him.

Easy, you silently ordered yourself. You're just here to learn script writing from him, hopefully make a movie, and go back home. Besides, looks aren't everything.

"I'm so sorry I'm late," he apologized in a rush when he got within earshot of you, "I was helping my employees clean up a wine spill."

He spoke smoothly, with an accent that was far from any you'd heard before with your own ears. South American, maybe? Spaniard? You could definitely hear an infliction there that suggested he'd grown up speaking more Spanish than English.

"Oh no," you said earnestly. "Hope it wasn't too bad."

"Nothing we can't recover from," he assured you. He broke out into a bright smile and outstretched his right hand. "Javi Gutierrez."

You shook his offered hand and beamed back at him, putting on your best friendly demeanor. "Nora Delaine."

"It's so lovely to meet you, Nora," he said, covering your hand with his left one briefly before pulling both his hands away from you. His hold on you was long enough for you to notice how large his hands were in comparison to yours, and softer than you'd expected. You tried not to think about them too much.

"Let me show you around," he continued quickly, "It will give us a chance to get to know each other, no?"

"I'd like that," you replied honestly. "I've always been curious about how wine was made."

His lips tugged back even more, and in that moment he looked like a kid on Christmas morning. Excited and wide-eyed. You wondered if he was always this happy to meet guests. "Great! This way, then."

He guided you on a stroll around the main parts of the vineyard, showing you inside the buildings where the grapes were stored, turned into wine, and where the wine was aged in barrels. He also took you through rows of grapes in the fields behind his home, detailing the care that he and his staff had to put into them before they were ready to harvest in the autumn season.

"You know your stuff," you noted as you walked shoulder to shoulder with him. "I take you're not one to observe while your employees do all the work?"

"I used to be," Javi admitted, "But when I bought this place I decided I wanted to change that. Made a point to spend some spare time helping harvest the grapes and pour the wine into the barrels. I still have much to learn. Wine making is actually interesting to watch and inspired the last script I wrote, as you might tell."

You did not mention you'd only seen his first movie, afraid to insult him. You focused on the other tidbit in his confession. "You didn't grow up here?"

"No," Javi confirmed, in the way Spanish speaking people pronounce it. "I grew up on an olive estate in Mallorca, also called Majorca, it's an island off the coast of Spain."

"Why'd you move here?" you inquired. You'd seen pictures of islands in the Mediterranean Sea, watched movies that were filmed there. Who'd want to move away from that?

He hesitated for a second before answering, shoving one of his hands into a side pocket of his jeans. "I guess you could say I needed a fresh start. And this place being a lot closer to Hollywood, I thought the move could help my career."

"Has it?"

He hummed. "I think so. But even if not, I like it here."

"So how long have you owned this place?" you asked.

"A little over two years," Javi replied. "It was already a very successful vineyard when I bought it from the previous owner's daughter who wanted nothing to do with it after he died. I kept on most of the staff, including the manager, Enzo. He's the only reason it's still successful. I hardly know enough to dare participate in the business. He's taught me everything I have managed to learn about it and I'm very grateful. He's helped me gain financial independence from my family."

There was something about how humble Javi was being about his lack of experience that made it hard for you not to like him already. He definitely did not seem like he had a spoiled rich man's attitude.

"Does your family visit?"

Javi's brows knitted together and his smile fell. "No. We do not get along, unfortunately. Not anymore. My family...they are, as some people say, toxic."

"I'm sorry." You felt bad for being nosy about it. "My parents aren't easy either, they're a bit too overprotective. In fact, I had to lie about some of the details of this project to get here. Otherwise, they'd have talked me out of it. But at least we get along enough to still care about visiting each other."

"It's a shame you had to lie," he said, "But selfishly I am glad you did whatever it took to get here. When I read your script, it drew me in like witchcraft. The way you write...it's compelling. Poetic. And for such a simple premise, you made it exciting. It made me look at a so called average life with new appreciation I did not have in my youth."

"You can thank my friend Sierra for everything," you told him. "She submitted my work. She convinced me to come."

"I owe her a debt then," he concluded, and you blushed. You knew he was saying that because he was excited to work with you, but a part of your brain had jumped to the conclusion that he owed her for you. Not like you hadn't just met.

"If you want to repay it have Nic Cage send her a message or something," you suggested. "She's a big fan."

"No way!" he exclaimed giddily, halting suddenly. "I must meet her someday! I'm a huge fan myself."

"Aren't you and Nic friends?" you quizzed, confused.

"Being a friend now does not negate the appreciation I had of his work before," he declared. "But it does mean setting up a meeting between them would be fairly easy. She could even stay with us for a time."

Us. Oh, his choice of words. You ignored the flip of your stomach. It was absurd. Javi wasn't really your type. Rich and energetic. Earnest and puppy-eyed. Right? You frowned.

He led you out of the rows of grapes to the far corner of the property where beautiful rolling hills back dropped a cozy looking two story ranch styled house that had recently been painted white. It was far more modest than his mansion, but still twice as big as your childhood home.

"That is where you'll be staying," he declared. "Do you wish to see it first or the space we'll be working in?"

"House first," you decided quickly. "I want to grab a few things from my bag to put on my desk. Assuming I'll have one?"

"Of course!"

The inside of the house was rustic. It reminded you of home, minus the buck antlers your dad had hung up on the living room wall. Not that he'd hunted a day in his life. He'd found them while hiking through the forest with the family dog in the dead of winter, the pair having naturally shed off of the deer they had once been attached to.

"This is wonderful," you commented as your eyes fell on your bags by the staircase. Walter had dropped them off as promised.

Javi beamed at you. "I am glad you like it. I admit, it's not my style."

"It wouldn't be, would it?" you mused. "This is very western themed, not island."

"It was once a place for temporary employees to stay," he informed you. "It was remodeled and decorated this way before I bought it. I just haven't bothered to change it."

"There's nothing that needs changing," you told him surely. You weren't going to allow anyone to insult the taste of most of your hometown.

He chuckled. "Maybe not."

You reached for one of your smaller bags and pulled out a stuffed giraffe and a photo of your two rabbits, plus another of a man your age, military short hair and a wide grin on his face.

"Is that your boyfriend?" Javi inquired curiously.

You shook your head somberly. "No, this is Kip, my brother. Was, rather. He overdosed on opioids last April."

Javi expressed honest dismay. "Oh no. I am so sorry. Were you close?"

"Very," you answered, chewing your lip, remembering the last time when Kip was alive and truly happy. It was far too long ago to be comforting. "He was only older than me by a year. Was quite different than me though. Very independent. Whenever my parents told him to do something he did the opposite. That's how he ended up in the military. It's how he ended up a war veteran with a bad back, which led doctors to treating him with strong drugs and in turn got him addicted to them."

"There are no words," Javi said gently, squeezing your arm at the elbow. "Is he going on your desk?"

"The fire mantle," you told him, heading for the fireplace in the living room and placing the framed photo on the shelf above it, carefully setting it there. You returned to Javi's side after. "Now I'm ready to check out the office."

He must have sensed that you didn't want to discuss your brother anymore because he just nodded and followed you out of the house.

The inside of Javi's mansion was...excessive. Six bedrooms, six full sized bathrooms to go with them, another two basic bathrooms (one for each floor), a massive kitchen and living room, a dining room, a personal office, a game room, a movie theater, and a sun room. There was a double stairway of course, and the rooms were mostly white, with some gold and black accents.

While you weren't a huge fan of overly sized houses and lack of color, you had to admit it was impressive, and some of the rooms were charming, likely thanks to a talented interior decorator.

One of the most charming rooms was the sun room, with all of its natural light and green house plants in vases. There were even a few vines hanging from the walls. It was the last room on the tour.

"This is where we'll be working," Javi informed you, nodding at the two desks set up in a corner. "I like writing out here. Feels too stuffy in the office. What do you think?"

"It's beautiful in here," you commented, awe in your voice. "I'm sure I'll get plenty of inspiration from it."

"Great!" Javi exclaimed, clapping his hands together, startling you. "I'll give you some time to fix up your desk to your liking, the one closest to the door, and have you meet me out back for dinner when you're ready."

"Dinner?" you questioned, frowning.

"Is it supper where you're from?" Javi asked when he noticed your confusion.

"Yes, but it's not that," you replied, explaining, "I didn't know I'd be eating with you tonight."

"Is that a problem?"

"No," you said a little too fast, cheeks threatening to turn red. "I just didn't expect it."

"As long as you're on this property you will never need to cook unless you wish to," Javi told you. "The chef here is excellent and always cooks up way too much for me. You'd be doing me a favor by joining me. And I'd like to get to know you a little more before we start writing together tomorrow."

"Would it be rude to ask what's on the menu?" you inquired.

He grinned. "Not at all. It's shrimp scampi tonight. Though there are alternatives available if you are allergic or vegan."

"I'm not, and I would never say no to shrimp," you declared.

He chuckled at your enthusiasm. "Good. Dinner will be served in thirty minutes, until then -"

"You'll be out on the back patio area," you finished for him.

He nodded. "Just through the doors."

He backed out of the room through a pair of beautifully detailed white doors and you could see him sit down in one of the patio chairs. He pulled out his phone and made a call you could not hear from inside and you forced yourself to look away, not wanting to be caught staring like a creepy stalker.

You placed your stuffed toy giraffe on the center of your desk next to the tape and stapler, along with the framed photo of your rabbits, before plopping down in the chair behind it to open up the new laptop you'd been gifted.

It was sooo fast to start up, and the perfect size for you. You hoped at the end of the two months you were staying that you'd be able to keep it. Especially after you went on to spend the half hour Javi had given you setting up the laptop, which included adding giraffe wallpaper to the main screen.

Once you were done, with a few minutes to spare, you stepped outside.

The back patio was made of gorgeous red brick and covered with more plant vases. The standard pool and hot tub were beside a four person outdoor table with an umbrella for shade.

The area looked so peaceful and dreamy that you weren't sure a space could get better until you laid eyes on the mini pond a yard away from the glass table, and noticed the brightly colored fish swimming in it. Fish splattered and patched with reds, oranges, blues, and blacks on their white bodies.

"Koi fish?" you quizzed when Javi glanced up at you from reading an email on his phone.

"Came with the house," he told you. "But I kept them cause I decided I liked them. Do you like Koi?"

You nodded. "I always wanted to have some of my own someday. But North Dakota winters would be hard for them to combat and Koi are expensive."

"Well, you can come back here and watch them whenever you like while you're staying here," Javi said. "Maybe they'll inspire you."

"A sun room and a Koi pond." You smirked. "Careful, you might not be able to get rid of me."

Javi parted his lips and closed them like he was going to say something but decided not to, and you blinked curiously at him. What had he been wanting to say but thought was best not said?

"Dinner is served!" a woman who was most likely Javi's chef, shouted.

He beamed at you. "Prepare to have the best shrimp in your life."

Javi was right, the shrimp was amazing, and the company continued to be pleasant. It was just you and him for an hour, the chef checking in briefly on occasion to offer wine and water refills and several well spaced out courses of Mediterranean food. You were stuffed when you were finished, and you wanted to sit by the Koi pond and digest, but you thought it would be best not to overstay your welcome.

"Well, I'd better go," you announced, trying to sound casual, as you stood back up. You were about to fish for some answers to questions that had been dancing around in your head all day. "I'm sure your girlfriend - or boyfriend - will want me out of the house when they get here."

"Neither," Javi told you, smiling as if he knew you were digging for information. He probably did. You were rarely subtle. "I'm not dating anyone right now. My last girlfriend moved to America with me but after living together for a month we realized we were better just as friends and she went back to Spain."

You winced. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's okay," he assured you. "We're still friends."

Friends? The word shouldn't have made your stomach flip as it did.

"Good," you murmured, not sure what else to say to a statement like that. "Too many of my past relationships ended nasty or by ignoring each other awkwardly."

You sighed and stretched your right hand out. He stood and shook it again. "Goodnight, Nora."

"Goodnight, Javi."

With that, you left him physically, but your brain didn't. For half the night you couldn't help replaying the time you'd spent with him, committing it to memory.

It had been a great first day, but you feared that you were already tempted to enter a dangerous game.

The kind of game that could break your heart.

xxx

Tagged: @harriedandharassed

xxx

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

xxx

#Javi G Fanfic (Mine)#TUWOMT Fanfic #OFC Fanfic #The Writing Contest Series

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yanderemeganekko · 5 months

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Tag game thing because why not

Oh man, I think this is like, my whopping third or fourth original post made this year. I sometimes forget my presence here is noted by anyone because of how little I post haha- so thanks for @houkagokappa for tagging me :)

Tag 9 an amount of people you'd like to get to know better

3 ships: Gosh, the only thing I've properly shipped in the last good while has been OCs I've been making in a friend group with my boyfriend, so I have to dig pretty hard for this one. The latest one that pops to mind would probably be KazuScara. Maybe also Neuvillette/Wriothesley? I don't even know their ship names yet but it's been growing on me. And for good measure I gotta throw in KilluGon as a good oldie, that one is always gonna own my heart.

First ship ever: Sora/Riku, no joke. If I had any ships from before then I have no idea, since KH was one of the first things I got into when I got online as a wee 9(?)-year-old... would you believe me if I told you I never finished the game LOL (I promise I will someday).

Last song: Animal by Deco*27. I was working on a project earlier and wanted something lighthearted to listen to.

Last movie: I'm so terrible about watching movies, this one might actually be the first Spiderverse movie from last year. I meant to go watch a bunch of movies this summer, but then life happened, so...

Currently reading: Manga-wise, Hikaru ga shinda natsu, which I've been enjoying a ton. I've also tried to get into reading books again (with pretty middling results), so I got myself a collection of Holmes stories, and a Lovecraft collection, both which I've started.

Currently watching: Finally watching Ancient Magus Bride with some friends! I just haven't felt an itch for seasonal anime, or anime in general lately, although we did recently finish Psycho Pass with my boyfriend (I've already seen it, I just needed to show him because I knew he would enjoy it).

Currently consuming: Media, or food? If it's food, currently nothing, although I did make a (pretty wet) blueberry pie and gingerbread cookies for independence day.

Currently craving: Time with family, and a home-cooked meal made by someone else. Due to some pretty grim circumstance I'm not spending today with my family, and it's unlikely that will be the case for end-of-the-year holidays either. I've been really jealous of seeing everyone my age and even older get to be with their parents, especially since mine are all I have, family-wise... but I can't blame my misfortune on others, so I just try to make do and enjoy my time with friends.

I can't think of terribly many mutuals of mine (sorry if I forgot about you, I promise it's not you it's me) but off the top of my head, I'll just tag @spoofenshmirtz, @komaeeda and @lonery-w.

#about me

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bonesandthebees · 3 months

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Bee bee bee bee :D a little Icy update for you... I'm going to NYC in a few weeks to meetup with some online friends!!! It feels like ages since I sent that ask-- Oh wait . That was on anon SCREAMING aha anyways . I was that really anxious anon asking about advice for meeting up with online friends lmao 😭😭😭 back then the plan was very different and for a small town and possibly Staying with them and the whole plan was just... not as safe of an idea as it is now so I was really anxious at the time BUT I found out that NYC is actually not?? That expensive to go to during the offseason?? And it's close to where my dad lives so I can go visit him after so it works out perfectly:D

But yeah, I do still really appreciate you replying all those months ago<3 really helped me out in the moment eueueeu

ANYWAYS . YASS Its really funny bc?? Another one of my online friends (one who I've known for Five Years now holyshit) is randomly?? Going to be there??? At the same time?? So I'm in total gonna meetup w 3 ppl, one who's my partner and I'm just AAAA I'm so excited. I'm also very nervous bc it's my first time traveling alone but i think it will be very very fun:D

We're gonna go see Hadestown on broadway I'm HYPED also getting matching tatts w my partner<3 I've never gotten a tattoo before but I've been wanting to for ages and I finally got the courage to suggest the tattoos during the trip (which we have been wanting to do for years). I've like grilled every single one of my coworkers and friends who have tattoos about the process lmao and I'm finally. Finally feeling more excited about it than nervous lmao

BUT YESSS :D just wanted to update u bc idk I did really appreciate the advice u gave all those months back<3 also wow I feel like I haven't properly sent a message here in ages... I've been so busy lately plus I randomly got super anxious about being annoying so I gave some space for a bit 😭 bUT IM BACK >:D you'll never get rid of me hehehe

Anywyas. Wowie. That got long lmao pulling a snowflake SENDING HUGS AND COOKIES AND (icy addition) TEA!! I love tea sm... I'm gonna make some rn

oh that was YOU??? I remember that ask! I'm so glad you were able to plan things out better to make yourself feel safer. and yeah NYC definitely isn't as expensive as people think it is if it's the offseason, especially bc I feel like the expected 'image' of new york as this sparkling glittering city has kind of chilled out over the years (probably because thanks to the wonders of social media we can all witness the natural wonders of new york—the rats)

that sounds so awesome though!! such a wild coincidence that you're gonna get to meet up with your other friend just by chance. and I'm so happy you're getting to hang out with your partner as well!! you're gonna have such a great time. and traveling alone is very fun in my opinion so I wouldn't worry too much about it. I actually way prefer traveling alone, it's so nice to just be able to chill out in airports by myself so I think you'll have a good time :)

and tattoos that's so cool!! I'm glad you've asked around about them, and if you have any other qs about the tattoo process feel free to hmu I have 5 of them. also I'm sure you've heard this already so I won't say much, but if you're getting a matching tattoo with your partner make sure it's of something that you'd want as a tattoo if it was just on you and not matching with someone else. just make sure it's something you want for the tattoo itself not just the match factor

I'm glad my advice helped <33 I hope you have an amazing time!! NYC is such a fun city, it's one of my favorite places in the US outside of California

#ask #icyfox17

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the-insomniac-emporium · 3 months

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Remembering my grandpa: the coolest guy I've ever met

so, like, still haven't processed what happened. that's honestly pretty typical for me, it's something I used to feel really guilty about (everybody around me would be crying, and I wouldn't actually feel those emotions for upwards of a year), and I've gotten better at addressing what's under the surface before it gets to the point of a breakdown. there are several reasons for why my biggest personal metaphor for grief is as follows

our love is a garden; this grief is a seed

mostly been keeping myself busy, just cleaned most of the kitchen in one go, probably going to clean my room later today. also been thinking a lot about how incredibly cool my grandpa was. he's genuinely one of the most rad people I've ever had the chance to meet, and I don't even know all of his stories!!! just gonna ramble about him for a bit

dropped out of high school (and later got his GED) because WW2 was happening and he enlisted (either lied about his age or was just barely old enough). got recognition for his marksmanship skills, and (forgive me for not knowing his official rank/title) even ended up being a sort of guard for a high ranking officer. I remember being told that when they had to drive somewhere, Gramps was the guy with a scoped rifle keeping an eye out for trouble, ready to counter ambushes or something like that.

(the point is that I haven't heard the details since I was a kid, but his rifle skills were incredible, especially considering his age at the time)

known for drinking Respect Women Juice and being a stand-up guy. I've read some of his memoirs (not published, but they might be at some point, I'll let y'all know), and he talks about how mad he was at my grandma's dad (his eventual father-in-law) because the FIL was soooo excited to have "man time" with Gramps, after already having treated Grandma like the son he would have preferred, and Gramps couldn't understand why FIL wasn't appreciating the incredible woman that Grandma was. seriously, Grandma was also a badass, an equally incredible sharpshooter who only quit competing (having reached the highest level for women in the US) because she realized in order to keep winning she'd have to actually put time and effort into getting better. also she was a great cook, apparently. had a real temper tho

Anyway, there's also some other stuff about his respect for women, but that involves a bit of family drama with other relatives that I don't want to get into online. The gist is that he went out of his way to make sure that several women in the family got treated fairly, especially when some people weren't properly appreciating the work of a stay-at-home mom.

He was an active scuba diver for many, many years, and several of his longest friends were met via the hobby. at one point, he even worked with several of them to buy a large amount of land on San Juan Island (of the San Juan Islands), where they divided it up and all built houses together. I have many memories of going to visit during the summer, and honestly it was really impressive what they built together. Grandpa also loved kayaking, and even dabbled in making kayaks!

Putting more under the break because I recognize this is lot

In order to get to San Juan Island, most people take a big ol ferry. during an incident that got a fair bit of coverage in the local newspapers, my Grandpa was taking the ferry when he realized someone in the distance was in trouble (small boat, might have gotten flipped or something, again don't remember all the details). Grandpa was quick to take action, got the attention of the ferry's crew, and was able to arrange a rescue. If he hadn't noticed the boat, chances are the person/people would have died.

Gramps was very active even up into his mid-to-late eighties (genuinely very fit and healthy until his kidneys started failing), and had some fun ventures as part of a historical group that went around the San Juan Islands finding old map markers/territory markers (god, I wish I remember the right word) and using modern tech to record their exact locations. It was like a scavenger hunt, almost, using old/outdated maps to find these things.

He was also an official boat inspector for Friday Harbor (the main part of San Juan Island) for several years, and was recognized for his hard work/the sheer number of inspections he did.

On top of all of this, my Grandpa was genuinely one of the warmest, funniest guys around. If someone asked me to think of an example of healthy romantic love, I would think about my Grandpa and my step-grandma. Then I'd think about my brother and his gf but that's a whole other thing. Grandpa was full of love, and had no qualms with showing it, using his musical talent for serenading her (he also joined in during the family gathering jam sessions). The way he looked at her will be forever engraved in my memory, full of love and full of life.

There are plenty more stories about Grandpa, some of which I just never heard, and some of which I have simply forgotten. I'm gonna miss him.

#j says things #personal #actually saying I miss him made the emotions hit #it didn't feel this real ten minutes ago

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veebs-hates-video-games · 4 months

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I'm glad I waited until the last minute to figure out how I felt about the games I played this year because there were some surprise changes right up until the end. I think I managed to get most things I played this year that weren't just demos onto a list and will have opinions on them.

There will potentially be too many to tag properly, but maybe I'll try linking the game titles to the tags and see how that goes, which should bring up any previous posts about them with more detail (although I still haven't finished updating all the old posts to the new tags yet as of writing this so they might not all work right away).

Also except for the final category stuff within each group isn't really in any particular order, and there's no hard boundary between some of the categories where I think everything in one is definitively better than everything in another (e.g. I think Aria of Sorrow is better than at least some of the stuff in the "pleasantly surprised category", but I liked it exactly as much as I expected to so it is where it is).

So starting from the worst:

Fate/EXTELLA LINK was the least fun I had with a game all year. It's like what if a Musou game felt worse to play and also had an extremely uncomfortable level of pandering to weebs and their waifus in the writing. Blech.

Diablo 2: Resurrected is literally unplayable without creating an account and being online even though D2 has always had offline single player. They don't actually mention this. I only have it because it was cheaper to get the bundle with D2 and D3 than D3 by itself.

Super Mario 3D World is the least fun I've had with a Mario game in literally decades. 3D movement with a fixed camera is awful. I still like the full 3D games and the 2D ones, but this is nope for me.

Pendula Swing is honestly probably fine on a different platform (read: with a mouse and keyboard), but the Switch version is borderline unplayable. The idea seemed interesting but it was so clunky I couldn't get into it.

Ys Origin just hasn't aged well. I played it a long time ago and it was in the "fine, I guess" category, but trying to replay it after some of the newer ones (which will be further down the list) was rough.

And then games that were mostly just disappointing to me:

Diablo 3 is one of those things everyone kept saying at least feels the best to play out of all the modern ARPGs for years, so I finally gave in and tried it to see what all the fuss was about. It feels like Torchlight 2.5 with a bigger budget and was kind of uninspiring overall.

The Outer Worlds was something I was really hopeful about, but I just didn't find anything at all about it enjoyable.

Pokemon Picross is just a bunch of free-to-play bullshit ruining something that could've been fun. The world is better off with the eShop shut down so no one can play it anymore.

Persona 5 Royal is another one I was really looking forward to that I just did not click with at all. The first few hours were full of minor annoyances and did very little to win me over.

AI: The Somnium Files had potential and sounded interesting, but moon logic for solving puzzles should've stayed in the 90s and I could do without all the random horniness.

The World Ends With You: Final Remix and NEO: The World Ends With You are frustrating because they have so many interesting ideas and a neat presentation but just aren't any fun to play, especially the first one.

Tales of Vesperia just hasn't aged super well I think. I know there are people who like it, and I was looking forward to it, but I think I would've had to play it closer to stuff like Tales of Symphonia to appreciate it.

Inscryption is not my thing at all. It's a shame because I loved Pony Island, but I just couldn't get into this one.

Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze is a Donkey Kong Country game, which have always been just ok to me. I should've remembered that and not bought into the hype over the years.

Next is stuff I liked the idea of but didn't really like playing enough to stick with it:

Titanfall 2 has really neat movement and stuff, and I've heard the later levels do some interesting stuff, but beyond that the actual combat wasn't really my thing.

Ori and the Blind Forest had too many frustrating bits to keep me playing through the parts I did like.

Disgaea 4 seemed fun and like it had a lot of potential, but I always find that kind of SRPG way too fiddly, ever since I tried the original Final Fantasy Tactics.

Marenian Tavern Story: Patty and the Hungry God is just a worse version of Blacksmith of the Sand Kingdom (see later on the list), which is understandable because they made it first.

Bravely Default I mostly played a couple years ago, but this year I put another dozen hours in and finally gave up on it. I really like a lot of stuff about it, but there were just too many things that frustrated or annoyed me.

They Bleed Pixels seems like fun and has some good pixel art (mostly the story stuff outside the gameplay segments), but I don't think it's for me.

Hero Hours Contract is an amazing idea and I love almost everything about it except for actually playing it.

Luckslinger took forever for me to get around to. The idea of luck being a consumable resource you have to manage is really neat, but I wasn't really enjoying the actual game, even if "pixel art hip hop spaghetti western" sounds great on paper.

Carto is one I don't really have anything against beyond apparently glitching it into an unrecoverable state and not being invested enough to start over.

Cris Tales is another one of those ones where I like a lot of stuff about it except for actually playing it.

Anarcute was a lot of fun for a little while, but it started introducing more elements I tend to not really like. Definitely one of the cuter games on the list with one of the best theme songs though.

Followed by things I had mixed feelings on or the "fine, I guess" category:

PixelJunk Eden 2 was fun enough, but they changed things from the original in a way that seems to be to make it more suitable for mobile, and I feel like most of them made it worse.

Voice of Cards: The Isle Dragon Roars didn't quite stick the landing. I loved the idea of everything being cards on a table with a single narrator/GM running everything, and the world and characters were interesting enough for a while. It didn't quite hold up for me all the way through to the end though.

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom is...better than Breath of the Wild, at least? It's smoothed over a lot of my biggest annoyances with that, and it's amazing that half the stuff in it even works at all, but it still doesn't feel like Zelda to me and has been pretty low priority to get back to and finish.

Atelier Ryza: Ever Darkness and the Secret Hideout has one of the worst openings of any game I've played in years and absolutely awful pacing. It did seem to finally have opened up and gotten potentially rather good where I left off (and might get back to one of these days), but it shouldn't take half a dozen hours for that.

Yoku's Island Express is a clever idea and was a pretty good time for a while, but it's also one of the buggiest things I've played in the past year, and that's what drove me to stop playing.

Dragon Quest XI S: Echoes of an Elusive Age is frustrating to go back to. I loved the demo when I played it a couple years ago, but redoing everything now because I'm playing the full game on a different platform kinda sucks because of how slow the start is.

Will Die Alone has an interesting premise and way of interacting with it, but it stops short of quite saying as much with it as I would've liked.

Chaos;Head Noah had so much potential that kind of got wasted in the end. I really liked a lot of stuff about it along the way, but it's also kind of a mess. Hopefully when I get around to Steins;Gate they'll have learned to do it better because the anime for that one was great.

I'LL KILL HER is basically an interactive comic book, and the main strength is the art. The rest is fine I guess. Every content warning for this one.

Murder by Numbers is a constant mix of mildly amusing and mildly annoying. I hope they can even things out if they make more games in the future.

And then games that were pretty good but not my favorites:

Kuukiyomi: Consider It is a silly idea and doesn't overstay its welcome. I haven't felt an urge to play the sequels so far though.

Theatrhythm Final Bar Line is definitely the best in the series and has tons of great music, but I still have some issues with this style of music/rhythm game that keep me from completely loving it.

Cadence of Hyrule was kind of annoying when I first started playing the demo, but once I got the hang of it I had a pretty good time mostly. The huge difficulty spike at the end left me less happy with it than I was for most of the game though.

Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow is probably the best game in this category, much better than most of the others, and my favorite Castlevania game, but it's a little short of being one of my favorites overall this year.

Syrup and the Ultimate Sweet is probably my second favorite in thie category and rather cute and silly.

One Night: Burlesque is the "worst" game in this category and doesn't entirely succeed at what it's trying to do, but I appreciate the effort and the overall vibes.

Gunma's Ambition -You and Me Are Gunma- is literally just a single joke drawn out for like an hour, but they lean into it enough to make it work.

LOUD: My Road to Fame has a couple weird design decisions that make it a bit frustrating toward the end, but up until then it's a surprisingly fun music/rhythm game with decent original music.

Lara Croft GO has some pretty decent puzzles in it and is probably my second favorite Tomb Raider game at this point, but I also had some Issues with it that held it back a little bit.

Next are the ones that I was pleasantly surprised by that were better than I expected:

Pixel Puzzle Makeout League was not what I expected. I figured it would just be picross with a silly dating sim on top, but I had no idea about the themes and ideas it would go into, and the entire ending section of the game in general was great and totally unexpected.

Blacksmith of the Sand Kingdom really surprised me. I had zero expectations going in, and while it isn't quite great at anything it's good to very good at a lot of things and was pretty satisfying in the end.

Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion is the most Zelda-like game I've played this year (with close competition from another game down the list), and an actual Zelda game came out this year. Exactly as long as it needed to be and went in a more interesting direction than I thought it would.

Majotori is something I accidentally stumbled on because it was on a list of games that at least tangentially have lesbians in them, and it's delightfully silly.

Death end re;Quest really surpassed my expectations, even if I have significant enough issues with it that it's hard to recommend without caveats. it did some surprisingly interesting things though, and I keep thinking about it from time to time.

Rabisco+ was an impulse purchase because it randomly came up and was very cheap and I had no idea what was going on in the cover art. It turned out to be a short but pretty fun arcade-style puzzle game.

Ys VIII: Lacrimosa of Dana was the first Ys game I played since Ys Origin first came out in English, and the series has really come a long way since then and is much better these days.

Demong Hunter was basically an impulse joke purchase because I had to know what makes a demong different from a demon. I still have no idea, but this was way better than I expected from what initially seemed like a cheap mobile game.

Ys IX: Monstrum Nox wasn't quite as good overall as the previous game in the series, but I still had a lot of fun with Goth Adol, and all the new movement abilities added a lot to it.

Perfect Gold did a surprisingly decent job of having flawed characters who worked through problems in their relationship without making them annoying or unlikable like often happens.

Trigger Witch is the other most Zelda-like game I played this year. I totally grabbed it because of the cover art and it was on sale, but it's a pretty solid twin-stick shooter mixed with the LttP/LA era of Zelda.

Will You Snail? was pretty unknown to me before I started playing because I somehow avoided anyone else playing it or talking about it, but it turned out to be a pretty good precision platformer with a fun gimmick, which is hard to pull off for me because I can be kinda picky about how platformers feel to play for some reason.

Vivid Knight managed to absorb nearly all my game time until I finished it, which I did not see coming. I did eventually start to see the cracks in the systems and stopped enjoying it as much, but up until then I got pretty wrapped up in it.

And finally the ones that were probably my favorites, not necessarily in order but with the best generally toward the end:

Xenoblade Chronicles: Definitive Edition and Xenoblade Chronicles: Future Connected would be more toward the top of the list except this was a replay so I'm disqualifying it. I played the Wii version originally, and they sure did improve almost everything in an already great game in this version.

Bowser's Fury was about as enjoyable as Super Mario 3D World was unenjoyable. I'm not sure it would quite work for a full size Mario game, but there were some good ideas in this one.

Trials of Mana really polished up an older game that I thought was kind of underwhelming back in the day and turned it into something I had a great time with. Between this and the recent announcement of the new game I'm cautiously optimistic about something good in the Mana series finally happening for the first time since the PS1.

Harvestella really caught me off guard. I was expecting a farming sim with some Final Fantasy-style nonsense on top, and it turned out to be 85% JRPG with a story I liked more than anything FF has done in years.

Can Androids Pray is the most last minute addition to this list on December 30th. When a short story (in any medium) really focuses in on a single relationship or conversation or event or idea so well that it implies the existence of the entire rest of the universe around that my brain just starts vibrating. This is one of those.

The House in Fata Morgana takes a long road to get to its ending and the characters earn every step of the way there. It also surprised me by being a totally different flavor of queer than I expected.

Unpacking wins the award for best vibes. I had a lot of feelings about this one, probably including some they weren't expecting people to have when they made it, and it does a better job telling a story than most stuff on this list despite having no visible characters and almost zero dialogue.

13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim I think wins for my favorite story/writing this year. People said it was a great sci-fi story, and not just for a video game, and they were right.

Fire Emblem Engage is the winner for my favorite gameplay. They absolutely nailed a lot of the mechanics and systems on the game design side of things, and it's my favorite Fire Emblem game at this point.

Xenoblade Chronicles 3: Future Redeemed gets this spot for my favorite overall. They polished the already great gameplay of XC3, introduced some great new characters and brought back some old ones, and managed to expand on a lot of the story from the entire trilogy and tie up a bunch of stuff all at the same time.

And I guess that's finally that. There were some pretty big disappointments for me, but there were even more really great games I played and ones I had no idea I'd like as much as I did. I think I'm just going to tag stuff in the final two categories (since that's what'll fit) and call it a day.

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laxmovrevx · 10 months

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𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐍

NAME : Rose / Versace

PRONOUNS : She/they

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION : I tend to be the most responsive on discord since I'm hardly here, but I don't tend to give that out till I really trust you OURGEOGUREH. Idk I'll probably say hi if we wind up on a server together.

MOST ACTIVE MUSE : This and Jack probably, but I say that loosely considering I'm not on Tumblr all too much BYE. But over the years as well? Specs.

EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS : I Oh boy quite a while.. I think we just hit around the 5 month mark for my time in the Tumblr rp community! In terms of roleplay in general it's more like 10 years.

BEST EXPERIENCE : Overall just meeting the Tumblr besties @jardinae and @serpentsexile. Ily both, and you guys really did change my life for the better. I loved all the discord events. All the stupid dash commentary. The unhinged stuff that happens in and out of the servers. Though, I do severely apologise that it meant dealing with the likes of Specs, emo and the other blonde bitch. I wake up every morning eagerly waiting to know what we get up to next and what stupid shit we'll do. Love you guys <3.

RP PET PEEVE : I have a few different ones but my main 2 are probably having your entire character revolve around shipping and also having a stupidly powerful character and then just. Not elaborating at all. I've been in groups where the entire theme is MURDER and HORROR and yet they spend the whole time making out and ignoring any plot hooks. I've also seen characters who can apparently take on gods or have ridiculous powers but that whole backstory is ignored, never used or has no depth to it. Like if they're an all powerful god, what does their role involve? What are their worshippers like? What's their influence in the world? There's no point having an OP character if all you use them for is to flirt around or just have an excuse to counter everything against them so they never show weakness.

PLOTS OR MEMES : I Memes are easier for me to answer quickly, but I'm a huge sucker for plots. Even if we never get around to writing them properly, I love throwing around ideas or blabbing on about stupid scenarios or AUs or relationships AAA. Sometimes I'll spend more time talking about a reply than I will actually replying BYE

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES : Long replies! Short are fine for memes but I feel like they can go nowhere at times. I like adding detail since it's more fun for me and I feel like it just makes things flow on a lot nicer.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSES : Oh To a small extent. I have a few similair interests to Specs and Jack, but personality wise they're different. Especially Specs. Extroverts lowkey scare me so the only time I come off that fucking crazy is online OIUHEUH. Hee's someone I'd like to be friends with though. Opposites attract kind of situation.

For the most part, a lot of my ocs kind of spring from personal experiences though. Jack was a way to kind of process my own situation. At times Specs is a bit of a vent character, but also just kind of a comfort character to help me through it. Alistair is a stand in for people I despise and sort of acts like a punching bag (though I haven't written him in ages for personal reasons lol) and characters like Lust, Dorian and William are kind of based around me as a person. All in all, I love most of my muses and oc (through they are on thin ice lol). If they were real I'd like to get to meet some of them one day.

Tagged by: Tagged by the bestie @serpentsexile

Tagging: steal

#➺ •║ 𝐒𝐏𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐁𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 ║ • ooc #lol #I can do a whole in depth ramble about that last question

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i--antimony · 1 year

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tuezdai

i was thinking about crossposting this to dreamwidth and THEN i remembered that ive been looking for an excuse to make. a neocities website. so. :3 i am going to make a neocities page for weekly roundup hehe

relatedly look at this bizarre captcha i got when i went to make an account. like. any of these fools could be robots.

listening: not a lot of music this week but ive been listening to rangedtouch's just king things podcast! i'm listening in order from the beginning and im at about halfway through ep 8 (the dead zone). i really enjoyed their homestuck reread podcast so when that finished i was like. well. i want to listen to these clowns (appreciative) hang out more. time to peruse their back catalog. and ive been enjoying it so far! i wouldn't call myself a huge king-head, i've read carrie, salem's lot, the shining...pet sematary? cujo? a few other misc king stories. there's a short story about a cat that crawls its way down someone's throat i think was stephen king and that one lives in my head rent-free. so definitely a lot of books ive never even heard of in here, and i definitely haven't read the Big King books (the stand and dark tower, mainly) but it doesn't matter too much for podcasting :)

sidebar, i told my roommate about the podcast and she misunderstood the premise and thought it was like. audiobook style. like they were reading the books out loud. i was like babe the stand episode is less than 4 hours long. do you think it's on like 10x speed. lololol

music-wise, @delta-orionis has some DELICIOUS synthwave playlists that ive been working out and studying to. it's like 40 hours long. go nuts

reading: i went to the library with the intention of wandering the nonfiction section until i found something that looked fun but they're remodeling soon so a ton of the stacks aren't open for wandering rn...i can reserve stuff and pick it up but they're not accessible to the public :( the fiction section is though so i grabbed "the birthday of the world", a short story collection by ursula le guin! i thought short stories would be nice because of my lack of time to properly get engaged in a Book and i was right, it rules. i read the first three or so last weekend when i took myself to brunch at a new tea place on main street (3/5 for the brunch, the restaurant is brand new so there are definitely some things that went wrong - food took forever to come out, i was frequently forgotten, after i was seated i waited for like 10 minutes to be noticed by waitstaff, when i finally got my food the rice was crunchy, etc. i would go back to eat there but not any time soon, maybe in a few months after theyve been open for a while. the tea RULED though. their gimmick is like...travel? airplane? so all the staff introduce themselves as flight attendants, and their rewards card is formatted like a passport book where once you get a row of stamps for a certain continent you get a free tea, and once you fill out the whole book you get another free tea........it's so cute.......) actually now im not sure if it's the location the tea came from or the Type of tea? because that top column goes from japan to england which is not exactly a Region. eurasia????? idfk. still cute

anyways. the short stories. i read the first three ("Coming of Age in Karhide", "The Matter of Seggri", and "Unchosen Love") and really enjoyed them! i never finished Left Hand of Darkness (i will return to her one day i promise) but it definitely wasn't required reading even though the first story was set on that same planet. the next story is "Mountain Ways" which is actually available online for those interested :)

watching: more evangelion, and my roommate put on "cunk on earth" for me and it rules it's so funny. obsessed with her.

making: embroidery progress! about halfway done filling in the headphone cord.

as a self reminder, the task list for finishing this is:

fill in headphone cord

words along the side

fill stitch for hair

color in eyes

add misc hair flyaways

misc: quantum midterm thursday......it's open note so im not as frantic as last semester's exams but still. ah. ahhhh. :(

#tuesdayposting #Spotify

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megan-loves-surveys · 9 days

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#31.

Who gives the best advice? Depends.

Is there any band out there that you like every song by them? Discounting groups/artists where they only had one album so less songs to dislike, I think the closest is probably Five - there's no songs by them I actually dislike or hate, I'll listen to them all.

What’s the best song a friend has ever introduced to you? One of my online friends was the one who introduced me to Najoua Belyzel, and she is AMAZING. Her first album is one of my favourite albums ever!

Have you ever smoked? Yeah, I used to smoke socially when I was in my early 20's. Stopped doing it after awhile.

Does your favorite uncle have any children? No.

Have you ever been in a lighthouse? Probably?

Name one of your psycho exes? I don't have any psycho ones lol, most of them were pretty normal xD

Why were they a psycho ex? -

Do you still talk to your first crush? No, I legit haven't seen him in like 25 years.

Where would you like to travel? Japan is top of my list. Also France, the UK, the USA (I've been there loads but I want to go back), Perth in Australia and prob more.

Are you shy about singing in front of people? I suck at singing so I wouldn't do that to begin with.

Do you know anyone who always makes themselves out to be the victim? Yeah.

Have you ever been insulted or called names by a significant other? Not that I can remember.

What’s your favorite movie battle scene? Dunno.

Do you have any step-grandparents? I did, but she passed a few years ago.

How far away do you live from the house you grew up in? I live on the other side of the city to it, so about a 40 min drive or so.

Have you ever been to a same-sex wedding? I haven't.

What’s the population of your hometown? Auckland has 1.6 million people lol. But if you count only the suburb I grew up in, Google says the population of it is about 15,000. My current suburb has about 25,000.

What’s the most difficult experience you and a significant other have gone through together? People judging us cos of the age difference. One of his sons is only 4 years younger than me, and a lot of people gave us shit for it, it sucked. But people are much cooler about it now we've been together for awhile.

What’s something you have zero tolerance for? Animal cruelty. Also less serious but I also fucking hate it when people wish injury on wrestlers they don't like.

When’s the last time you said you were sorry? I bumped into somebody by mistake and said sorry about it. They thought they were at fault and apologized to me as well LOL xD

Would you like living on the coast? What coast?

Honestly, do you enjoy arguing? No.

Which theory do you wish but perhaps not believe was true about afterlife? It doesn't exist...

Are you scared of losing the person you like to someone else? Not really, cos I know he wouldn't cheat on me, one of his ex wives cheated on him (that's why they divorced) so he'd never do it to someone else cos he knows how much it hurts.

Do you have a hard time making decisions? Depends.

If there was a large spider in your room, would you stay in the room? Hell no, I'd be outta there until it was gone.

What’s your favorite kind of meat? (vegan/vegetarian options count!) Fish.

Have you ever been mistaken for staff at a store you were just visiting? No.

What’s the coolest or most memorable animal you’ve ever seen at a zoo? We went to the zoo in Washington DC, and they had a kiwi there. Kiwis are extraordinarily hard to see, even in NZ where they're native to, cos they're nocturnal. The handler for the kiwi asked everyone (it was a small group of about 10 people at a time allowed to see the kiwi) where they were from and when we said NZ she got excited lol. Then she invited us to stay after the demonstration was over (only us) and we got to see the kiwi properly up close and stroke it! It was so cool, they're really soft and super cute. The kiwi was all interested in the bracelets I was wearing and was nudging them with it's beak xD It was a really unique experience and not one many people can say they've done, cos the handler said that she doesn't invite many people to stay and meet the kiwi haha. Afterwards, we joked that we had to go to the USA to see the national bird of our own country xD

Do you share a bedroom with anybody? No, except for my boyfriend when he stays over, but most of the time we stay at his place.

What video game have you played the most hours of? If you don’t know, just make a rough guess. Pokemon in general as a series, but individual game most likely one of the Civ games, either II or IV.

Who will you see within the next week? Loads of people - my Mum, my Dad, my boyfriend, Ngawari, David maybe if we go to the night market, people at work, people in shops etc.

Do your parents live in their hometown(s)? Neither of them do - my Mum was born in Scotland, and my Dad was born in Rotorua. We all live in Auckland.

Have you ever modeled before? No.

If offered $1 million, would you do a reality show of your life? My life isn't interesting enough for that LOL.

Who owns the computer you are on? Me.

What’s your best friend’s favorite color? Pink.

What color was your senior prom dress? -

How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2014? None.

Northernmost state you’ve been to: Massachuetts or New York? I'm not sure.

Think you’ll live to be 100? Who knows. My Grandma lived to 96, so perhaps.

Which YouTuber do you feel like you could be friends with easily? Call Me Kevin, he seems so fun and nice.

Who do you know personally that has a nice singing voice? Dunno.

If you met your favorite musician, what would you ask him/her? I have met them, the only thing I asked was my fave member for a hug hahahah.

What’s something you used to believe in that you don’t anymore? Dunno.

What’s something you believe everyone should have? Food.

What’s the first thing you do once you get home from a trip? Just relax.

Do you listen to podcasts? Which ones? No.

What was the last heavy thing you lifted? I can't lift heavy things cos of my shoulder, so most things are heavy to me lol.

Do you have an anchor tattoo? No.

Are your hands unsteady? Not really?

Do you think you’re pretty? I'm average.

Who do you know that wears the most makeup? Dunno, not many of my friends wear it. Maybe someone at work.

Are you anyone’s first love? No.

Has anyone ever told you they were in love with you? Yes.

How much does your mother know about your sex life (or lack thereof)? Haha, she doesn't know much. I am extremely kinky and have loads of fetishes, she knows nothing about any of that xD

Do you eat or drink as soon as you wake up, or do you wait a while? I wait awhile, unless I wake up thirsty.

Tell me about some of your interests. Wrestling is my main hobby - I love watching it, going to shows, collecting merchandise, chatting about it etc. I also love Pokémon, video games, writing, shopping, geography, YouTube, traveling, surveys, going to the gym, cats and a bunch more things.

What’s your favourite kind of Oreo? Just the regular ones.

Do you play any games on your phone? If so, tell me about one. Pokémon Sleep, Pokémon Go and BitLife are the only ones I play. Sleep is more of an app than a game but collecting the Pokémon is fun.

Do you have more male or female coworkers? It's about equal actually!

What’s the longest stretch of time you’ve spent completely alone? A few days.

Do you use Instagram? If so, what’s your current profile pic? No.

What are your thoughts on kids being given iPads to keep them entertained? It's fine as long as it's not too often, like all the time.

[TW: SUICIDE] Have you ever thought about giving up on life completely? No.

Have you seen the entire Harry Potter series? I've seen the first... four movies? Then I gave up on them.

Do you still have both of your parents? Yes.

Do you play video games? Yes! One of my fave things.

Do you have the same color eyes as your mother? No, I have green eyes and she has brown.

Have you ever been put to sleep for surgery? Yes.

Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? Yes, but I wasn't pregnant. Thank god.

When was the last time you went bowling? Oh god, years ago. Damn I wanna go now xD

Do you personally know anyone who is transgender? Yes.

When was the last time you spent over $100 in one transaction? What did you buy? IPW tickets, with all the fucking fees, it was over $120.

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? Would you judge a grown adult for doing so? Yes when I'm alone. And of course I wouldn't, cos I do it xD

Would you describe yourself as fashion-conscious, or do you just wear whatever feels comfortable? I just wear whatever I like.

What are the main two colours in the room you’re currently in? Did you pick these colours out yourself? It's grey. And no, it was like that when we moved in.

Do you have piercings anywhere except your ears? How many and where? I don't even have my ears lol.

What’s your opinion on leggings as pants? I do that, so it's cool. I just make sure to wear a shirt that's long enough to cover my crotch properly so there's no camel toe lol.

Who was the last person you were in love with for more than a year? My boyfriend.

Do you have a secret life? No.

Have you ever seen the last person you kissed without a shirt? Yes.

Do your parents know EVERYTHING about you? Hahah no.

Favorite thing to eat with peanut butter? I like it on it's own.

If you had to get a piercing right now, what would it be? Ears.

The last time you held a baby: No idea.

Does your mom eat meat? Yep.

What would be your reaction if one of your parents said they were having another kid? My parents are in their 70's LOL. My Mum is far past that, and I doubt my Dad wants any more kids, plus my stepmum is his age haha.

What fish scares you the most? Dunno.

How do you feel about snails? Cute as hell! I used to own pet snails as a kid haha.

If you were told by a professional that you were unable to become pregnant, how would that affect you? Is there something important to you about conceiving a biological child rather than adoption? And finally, if you even want to have children, would you choose adoption or surrogacy or would you go on childless? I'd be so happy. I don't want kids at all, and that means I could have sex unprotected without risk of it LOL.

Are you physically affectionate with your friends? Yes.

Do you kill spiders when you see them? I try to, but usually I just start crying and freak out until someone else takes care of it lol.

What’s your favorite makeup brand/brands? I don't wear makeup, so I have no clue.

What fictional creature would you like as a pet? A Pokémon, like Eevee or Luxray haha.

Have any local businesses closed that you’re sad about? Not lately.

How do you feel about TikTok? It's stupid, I don't have an account.

Any current trends you dislike? Crocs and those ugly shapeless long dresses that have hung around for 2 summers now. I'd never wear one lol, gimme a short sundress any day of the week.

If you had three daughters, what would you name them? I hope that doesn't happen lol. But if I had to pick, I'd go with Cheryl, Imara and Stella.

Would you ever adopt a child? No.

Do you like your name’s meaning? It means pearl, that's pretty nice. I also found out it's Greek and Irish, which is cool.

Do you and your mom look like sisters? Not really, though my Mum does look younger than her age, she doesn't look THAT young.

Are you the same height as your mom? Almost, she's an inch taller than me.

Do you know anyone named Travis? No.

[TW: DOMESTIC ABUSE] Did your parents abuse you? No.

What is something you’ve learned to never take for granted? The people in my life taking care of me.

Tell me about something significant that happened to you in the past week. I guess Maniacs show last night, it was their final show and they had a huge turnout, which was great. I sat between David & Scott and they were shouting nonstop all night, LOL.

What subjects do you like to read about? Geography, wrestling, Pokémon, true crime, missing people and girl groups.

What is the name of the last book you bought? Reach For The Stars, it's about 90s and 00s British pop groups.

If you could change one thing about your home, and money was no issue, what would it be? No clue. I live in a complex, all the houses are connected and are the same so if we changed anything it would be odd haha.

Are there any (obviously fictional) villains you can’t help but love? Hmm.

Can you name a villain who you could kind of side with? -

What color eyes does your significant other (or crush) have? (If applicable.) Blue.

Does anything around your home need repairing? Not right now, thankfully.

#survey #surveys #random survey #personal survey

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shirecorn · 3 years

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Hey I just wanted to thank you for that studying anatomy post. I'm trying to support my kid's art education as best I can but I am not, technically speaking, a good artist at all, so resources like what you have put together is incredibly helpful for our home ed. Anatomy is something they have been really wanting to learn lately and I think this is going to be very exciting for them!

(How I study Anatomy)

Studying Animals, creatures, and design

ILL DO ANYTHING FOR CHILDREN i think I took out the swears in that post? did I take out all the swears???

My blog in general is not safe for kiddos because I didn't want to cut out that part of my personality as an online persona, but individual posts can be!

Depending on their ages beware setting kids loose on my blog because I swear a lot, draw Sometimes Really Realistic Gore, body horror, and the occasional Fish Tiddies.

Art tips is usually ok tho I think?

I've been meaning to follow up on the reference gathering step. Showing how to get good reference is important because it impress the importance OF reference

Recommendations for further anatomy study!!!!!!

These were super important to me as a young artist, because "draw three circles and add stripes for a tiger!" were completely boring and taught me nothing. But these books were something else entirely.

I recommend buying most of these books rather than borrowing from a library, because it takes a long time to properly chew through them the first time, and there's always concepts that go over your head for a while until you're a stronger artist and can comprehend them.

As for buying books, please buy from a book merchant rather than Amazon if you can afford it. Amazon exploits their workers, including crew for their streaming shows, which are artists like me! Check used book sites like ebay and Thriftbooks for cheap prices if you need those.

Dragonart by Jessica Peffer and the sequel, Dragonart Evolution

She has multiple books for different level artists

This one is great for kids and it illustrates important concepts like anatomy, realism vs stylization, and teaches a ton of important art concepts. This is one of my foundation books as a young artist.

The believable anatomy here is what made me so anal about dragon wings having enough surface area and connecting down the the tail. I haven't read the sequel, but I imagine it's probably even better and higher quality than the first.

I was selftaught until I was 21, so by the time I realized how-to-draw books were a thing, it was hard to find one advanced enough for me.

Drawing Wildlife by J. C. Amberlin

This book is INTENSE, dude. Absolutely perfect for a more advanced artist. It talks about techniques to render fur, how muscles work, why deer are built like tables, etc. It is really intense so if you get it for a child or young teenager they may look at it and then put it aside for a couple years.

I cannot recommend this art enough for people who want to draw animals. it REALLY elevates your technique and skill.

Draw Horses by Lee Hammond

This is a really typical book. Very short, check out from the library type. It's easily interchanged with whatever other horse book is out there, but this is the only one I've read. It was not advanced enough for me after reading Amberlin, but it's a great introduction to the basics of form and shading, as all good art books should be.

Further Study:

Skulls!

As much study as I've done, nothing compared to the leap of improvement as when I started cleaning skulls. Let me tell you, as soon as those kiddos figure out that a jaw hinges behind the eye instead of opening off the bottom like a trap door, they will be unstoppable

Skulls are easy to acquire, actually. I linked to etsy where you can search for replica skulls at affordable prices. Most of the time when you search for replicas, you're get hundred dollar museum-quality pieces, and that's not what we need to learn to draw. As long as they are cast from real bone and have a jaw that separates, they will be useful.

Real skulls are, in my opinion, much better than the replicas, but you need to consider the source when buying. Most bones you can buy are sourced from hunting, fur farms, meat processing, or souvenir shops. You need to know what business you will be supporting with your purchase. All of mine were animals that I found dead, or were given to me by their owners after they died.

Having something you can hold in your hand is super valuable. You just don't get the same kind of understanding from photos.

Museums

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TAKE YOUR KIDS TO MUSEUMS!!!!!

My parents suffered from Have-too-many-kids disease so I can count on one hand the number of zoos we went to, and I think we only went to One science museum. They didn't really care about art so I never went to an art museum until I was 23 and took myself. I had never seen an oil painting in real life before and I started crying right then and there. Please nurture their love of art with everything you have in you. My family didn't care about art and actively discouraged me from pursuing it, yet here I am. Can you imagine how powerful I would be if I had that backup my whole life?

Oh yeah and at science museums some (Like the cal academy of sciences) have sets of skulls, pelts, rocks, and whatever else that are specifically for kids to handle and touch! Ask if yours has any because when I asked I got access to a treasure trove and got to touch an otter skull!

Zoos!

Super important! Grab a sketchbook and go! Make sure everybody works super loose and doesn't fiddle too long or get frustrated. Living animals move, so trying to do something really detailed won't work, it's not like reffing off a photo!

My sketches are on the left, but I went searching for some looser sketches that are good for little hands. The artist talks about their trip.

Yay

That's all the images I'm allowed and all the ramble I've got left for tonight. I refuse to proofread please enjoy

#art tips #studies #animal drawing #how to study #how to draw #long post #ramble machine #shire draws #shire screams

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latte-fairytaekwoon · 3 years

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Morning Routine (Jung Wooyoung) Rated

Part Two

Pairing: Jung Wooyoung × Reader (Female)

Genre: Smut, Fluff.

Summary: Seeing an advertisement online in need of a camera handler, Wooyoung jumps at the opportunity, not knowing his employer is a renowned camgirl.

Word Count: 4.3+K

Warnings: Exhibitionism, voyeurism, nude taping, masturbating in shower, breast play, a rather tamed smut

Taglist: @seacottons @multidreams-and-desires @galaxteez @deja-vux @yunhofingers @little-precious-baby @brie02 @couchpotatoaniki @daniblogs164 @a-soft-hornytiny @yunsangoveryonder @minhyukmyluv @nanamarkie @mingismoon @ateezbabysitters

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"Wanted: Experienced photographer/Camera Operator for personal/private filming. If interested, please contact number below for more information or details. Students majoring in said field are welcomed to apply. 19+ only."

Seeing the advertisement, Wooyoung's eyes popped up. Usually most jobs wouldn't even allow people without a degree or years of experience. And it would be perfect practice that didn't include boring or basic projects his professor would often assign, not to mention a little extra money would come in handy.

Not thinking twice about it, he quickly dialed the phone number listed and waited patiently as it rang. It took a while, but eventually someone on the other side picked up.

"Hello?" He discerned that it was a young female's tone.

"Hi! I was calling about the advertisement for a camera man?" He inquired.

"Are you 19 or over?" She immediately asked for his age, which slightly confused him. But thinking about it, he kinda understood why she might want someone older. After all, teenagers weren't exactly reliable or responsible when it came to taking on a job. She probably wanted to avoid them dipping out on her randomly.

"I'm 21 and very serious in my work." He assured her, already making it clear his intentions to be committed to the job she was offering.

"Hmm...I take it you probably haven't had a lot of experience outside of college right?"

Wooyoung slightly gulped as she discerned correctly. But she did say students were welcomed to apply and he was fairly confident in his skills.

"N-no but I can assure you that I'll work hard and meet your expectations."

There was a deep and defeaning silence that had Wooyoung worrying. He could already feel her hesitation to hire him or give him a chance. He was so worked up on being rejected once more that the slight giggle that ensued after that pause momentarily confused him.

"I like your attitude and drive already. What did you say your name was?" She asked.

"Jung Wooyoung." He answered right away.

"Well Wooyoung, how soon can you start?"

His mood lightened up quite significantly at hearing her say those words.

"If you'd like, I can come over to the location you wish after I get done with my classes tomorrow." He offered.

"All right, just one thing....... do you think you'd be able to stay over at my place for a few nights?"

Although he thought it was a rather unusual request, he didn't put too much thought, especially since someone was offering him a chance to actually have some work.

"Um.. of course."

Unbeknownst to him, the woman on the other side had her lips curling up into a smirk.

"Wonderful. I look forward to seeing you real soon Wooyoung."

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Checking the direction that was sent to him, Wooyoung looked at the corresponding number on the front door to make sure it was indeed where he needed to be. Adjusting the bag that was hanging by his shoulders, he slowly walked up to the vintage style house and rang the doorbell. Hearing the soft patter of footsteps coming from inside, Wooyoung mentally prepared himself to see a middle aged lady carrying a Siamese cat as soon as the door opened. But he was not prepared by the sight awaiting him. Indeed there was a cat in the arms of the figure in front of him, although it was a Persian cat and not a Siamese, but that wasn't the most surprising factor. What shocked him was to see a very young woman near his age be the one holding the cat in her arms, her face illuminated by the warm smile she was donning.

"You must be Wooyoung. I'm Y/N." She extended her hand out towards him, prompting the feline in her grasp to shuffle around and climb part of its body on her shoulder. Judging by the slight crinkle of her nose, Wooyoung guessed the cat probably clung its claws into their master's skin.

"Yes I am. It's a pleasure to meet you. I promise you won't regret hiring me." Taking hold of her hand, he gave it a firm shake while his face radiated the most reassuring smile he could make.

"Oh trust me, I don't think I'm going to." Her lips formed a rather curious smirk that slightly baffled him.

She gestured for him to step inside, which he immediately did as he tried to ignore the slight hissing the Persian cat gave him when his shoulder barely made contact against its swaying tail.

"Baby stop. He's going to be around for a while so be on your best behavior." She chastised her cat as she closed the door.

Y/N let out a soft 'hmph' when the cat suddenly jumped out of her arms and ran over to where Wooyoung was standing. He got stiff and held his breath when the cat pressed her nose on his leg and began sniffing him. Pulling back, she licked her lips and then scurried off somewhere in the other part of the house.

"Well we know for sure she doesn't dislike you." Y/N chuckled slightly.

"But I take it she doesn't like me?" Wooyoung raised an eyebrow.

"She's a cat, it'll take time for her to get used to you, that's all."

Shrugging softly, Y/N walked over to the kitchen and started taking out a few cups and saucers from the cupboard.

"I was brewing tea before you got here, would you like to share a cup with me?" Removing it from the stove top, she held up the elegant teapot to him after she finished her question.

"Oh, thank you." He gladly accepted her gesture.

Noticing him standing there awkwardly, Y/N pointed to one of the chairs surrounding the kitchen island.

"Wooyoung don't be too tense and just make yourself comfortable. After all, you're going to be staying with me for a few days."

Her words reminded him about that particular part of the job, that still felt odd to him and he was very curious to find out why she needed him to stay over with her.

"So.... can I ask what exactly is this project you're hiring me for that requires me to stay here?" He asked as he pulled a chair forward so he could sit on it.

"Oh yes, I thought you'd probably ask me about that since it is rather unusual."

She paused briefly so she could properly pour the tea into the cups, the rich aroma filling the atmosphere with its notes of chamomile and lemon. After sliding a cup over to him, she turned behind her to grab a tray that contained sugar cubes, honey, steamed milk and a few lemon wedges, all in different saucers or dishes that matched the tea set that they were currently drinking in. The cute floral design amused Wooyoung slightly. He could tell Y/N seemed to have a thing for classy and vintage style aesthetic, her house and the things inside was a major clue to it.

Pouring a tiny teaspoon of honey and some milk in her tea, Y/N carefully stirred them in the cup before finally answering the question Wooyoung had been pondering over.

"Well to make a long story short, I wish to film an everyday vlog for my....channel." Lifting the cup to her face, she gently blew on it before taking small sips out of it.

"Channel? Like for YouTube or like that?" Wooyoung himself started drinking his own cup of tea, preferring not to add anything to it since he liked straight tea as it was.

"Yeah something like that. But basically, I wanted to show my viewers how I live and what not. Show them what I do inside my home that they hadn't seen before. For example, I wanted you to stay over because I wanted to film my morning routine. I want to capture every move I make from the moment I wake up to when I get ready to start my day. Am I making sense?" She worried she was probably confusing Wooyoung even further, but he was actually not. It had become a popular trend this day to document a person's morning routine for people to see.

"Yes you are, no worries. Now I understand why you needed me to stay over." The smile he had was half covered by the cup that was brought back over to his lips.

"I mean if you're uncomfortable by it or would rather not, I completely understand."

Wooyoung quickly dismissed her worries, shaking his head as he cleared his throat.

"Trust me, I'm not uncomfortable and I'd love to help you in your project. It'll help me out as well, you know, gain experience and have someone to put as a reference if I ever want to get another job."

Y/N giggled softly at that and nodded.

"Ahh yes. I guess if you look at it from that angle, of course you would accept."

They spent a few minutes in a serene and tranquil silence, the only noises heard was the sipping of their lips against the rim of their cups. Wooyoung tried not to notice the way Y/N would occasionally stare intently to him, a slightly curious grin on her face at times. It wasn't that it made him uncomfortable, but it certainly made him self conscious, especially since he put a lot of effort into looking as presentable as possible. Did she perhaps thought it was too much? Or not enough? Or was it because she thought he looked funny? Whatever it was he got no chance to ask about it since he only opened his mouth to let out a sharp yell when he felt a certain feline's claws tangled themselves on his thigh, the sharpness of her claws even sinking into his skin.

"Baby!" Y/N got up from her seat and quickly removed the paws of her cat off her guest. She looked extremely embarrased as she apologized profusely before shooing the cat off to another room.

"I'm sorry. She tends to get a bit aggressive when trying to play. She didn't hurt you too much right?"

Dropping down on her knees in front of him, Y/N gently examined the damage done: a slight tear in his jeans but no visible signs of a deep scratch or anything.

"N-no it's fine, I'm fine." Wooyoung uttered.

He tried so hard not to blush at the position she was currently in. On her knees, between his legs as one of her hands caressed the attacked spot in an effort to soothe the pain. Wooyoung wanted to smack himself right then and there for the dirty picture his brain had imagined about the semi stranger in front of him, and his cheeks started to produce a pink hue when his body involuntarily started making a visible effect of his reaction to her stance by him in between his legs. He gulped as he realized she would be able to see the bulge that was starting to show.

"If you want, I could mend your pants for you-"

"No that's fine don't worry!" Wooyoung stood up from his seat and inconspicuously hid his tiny problem by pulling his sweatshirt further down as he moved away from Y/N.

"I mean, these pants were old. I was going to throw them out anyway." He tried as much as he could to seem as normal as possible, but judging from the look on her face he was probably not doing a good job. Luckily she seemed to not question his behavior and instead decided to start cleaning up the dishes that they used.

"Here let me help you with that." Wooyoung offered, trying to take some of the china off her hands but Y/N pulled her hands back so he wouldn't touch them.

"It's ok, don't worry about it. You're my guest and I'm very particular about the way to clean my silverware and dining sets. Nothing against you, I'm just.... slightly obsessive compulsive." She remarked in the most cheerful tone one could have while giving him a shy smile.

"Umm ok..." Wooyoung scratched the back of his head.

"If you want, why don't you bring the rest of your stuff so I can show you where you're staying?" Y/N suggested.

"Yeah. Sure."

Wasting no time and thinking keeping his mind occupied could help cool him down, Wooyoung picked up his keys and nearly sprinted out the door. Y/N hummed a soft tune to herself as she ran the cups under the lukewarm water. Her eyes were staring out her window, watching as her guest was head deep in the back of his car's trunk. She giggled softly as she remembered the flustered look on his face just a few minutes ago, tongue poking out at the image of his crotch outlined in those tight jeans of his. She looked down when she felt a soft face nuzzling itself against her ankle, soft purring coming out of her cat's throat before letting out a meowing noise. Bending down, Y/N gently scratched under Baby's chin as she liked.

"Yes I think he is absolutely adorable as well Baby.."

Picking her up, Y/N kissed the top of her head and smirked.

"And I'm going to have lots of fun with him."

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"Ok you ready?"

Looking over at the girl still in her bed, Wooyoung got a thumbs up to let him know she was indeed ready. Turning on his camera, he held up his hand and started putting one finger down at a time to count down the starting time. Hearing the slight beep of the camera go off, Y/N immediately plastered on a commercial worthy smile.

"Hello my darlings. As I promised you guys, I'm going to take you guys through my morning routine step by step. I hope you all enjoy it." She finished off her words with a wink before tearing off the blanket off her body.

Wooyoung had to give it to her, she definitely didn't seem to be camera shy nor awkward in front of the lens. He liked that she had confidence. Then he remembered that she had a channel of some sorts and that was probably the reason why. He stepped back a few steps to fully capture her as she neatly tucked her covers under her mattress, impressively folding the corners of her bed like they did in 5 star hotels. Smoothing out the top before patting it down, she looked at the camera once more.

"As you already know, I like to make sure everything looks absolutely pretty for you guys." Her voice dropped slightly in tone as she said those words.

Getting up from the floor, she pointed over to her still sleeping cat that was perched on its bed by her window. Wooyoung made sure to angle the camera towards her, zooming in slightly.

"She won't wake up for another hour or so....perfect amount of time to get all clean and dolled up."

Beckoning him over, Wooyoung carefully followed her inside her adjoined bathroom, keeping a steady hand as he made sure to capture everything inside. From the long vanity with its mirror to the walk in shower with its clear glass lining, all of it looking spotless and shiny. Clapping her hands together, Y/N beamed with enthusiasm.

"And of course, the first thing I do each morning is wash up."

When he heard that, Wooyoung thought she meant like her skincare routine as he had noticed her cleansers and toners perfectly lined up next to the faucet sink. But he was not prepared to suddenly be hit with the image of her bare chest in front of him when she suddenly pulled her black satin tank top off and let it drop to the floor, his own jaw going slightly agape. As if he couldn't get anymore flustered, he nearly wheezed when she turned around and bent over to slide her matching pajama shorts down her smooth legs, her ass staring him right in the face. It took everything in Wooyoung's strength not to drop the camera when Y/N stood back up and turned around so that her completely nude body would be in the frame. She giggled as she took notice of Wooyoung's beet red face, further teasing him as she kicked her discarded lace panties by his feet, the poor boy swallowing hard as one of his hands shook nervously.

"Eyes up here baby." He immediately looked up from the ground when he heard her sweet and sultry voice.

Walking over to him, Y/N snaked one of her hands to grab at one of his belt loops so he could follow her. Opening the large glass door to the shower, Y/N released his belt loop and made a sign for him to stay there and keep the camera towards her. Stepping inside the enclosed space, she twisted the knob on the tile wall enough so that the shower head above her would start pouring out the refreshing and cool water onto her body. She released a soft moan when she felt it splash onto her, hands gliding down her torso and thighs as her eyes closed and reveled in the tingling and cooling feeling of the water dripping down on her.

Wooyoung stood there completely speechless and flabbergasted, his eyes unable to blink the longer he stared at the scene before him. It felt completely wrong to be there, to watch and film as this girl he just met the day before stand naked in front of him and continue her shower routine as if he wasn't even there. He just couldn't believe it, couldn't believe what he had gotten himself in to when he called and accepted to work for her. But he still accepted and he had a job to complete so he tried his best to look as composed as possible as he kept the camera pointed at her.

And yet more often than not he found himself biting down on his lip hard, trying to suppress the groans threatening to spill out as he continued to watch her as she did the most normal things a person often did while they took a shower. The camera captured every minute starting from when she lathered her head with her shampoo, its scent of coconut and hibiscus filling the entire room with fragrance that further made the tight feeling in Wooyoung's pants ache even more. His eyes were exclusively locked on her body, watching as the water cascaded down her soft skin, focusing especially on her breasts. He licked his lips as he took in the way her nipples peaked out due to the temperature of the water, wanting nothing more than to take one of them in his mouth and suck on it. The fact that Y/N would purposefully bring her hands up at times to cup or rub against her fleshy mounds wasn't helping his case, it only made him more sad that it wasn't his own hands touching and caressing her breasts. He was willing to bet they were probably the most soft and squishy pillow like tits to exist.

Wooyoung was really aching when she poured some of the pomegranate scented body wash into her sponge and began to distribute it around her body, starting from her arms and working them down her legs and between her thighs. He didn't mean to but he couldn't help himself as he fantasized about being him the one who was lathering her body, imagining all the things he'd do if he could. Like perhaps teasing her by grazing his fingers across her wet folds or even pressing his thumb down on her sensitive clit. Either way, he knew he wouldn't be able to keep his hands off her if he got the chance, but he doubted that would ever happen. So he decided to take what he could of the moment and perhaps use it for fap material when he was alone.

As if knowing exactly what he was thinking about, Y/N turned her body to fully face him and smirked. Sliding her hands up her torso, she took hold of her breasts and gave them a tight squeeze before releasing them. Wooyoung could not help the audible whine that spilled out from his tongue as he saw her repeat the same action a couple more times. Pressing her boobs together, her thumbs played with the hardened nipples, tweaking at them and even giving them slight pinches every now and then. Wooyoung knew she was doing it on purpose, trying to arouse him even further....and it was working perfectly.

With one hand kept on one of her breasts, the other one snaked its way in between her luscious thighs. Dipping one finger inside her entrance, her lips parted and began spilling out breathy moans as she started to slide her finger in and out of her body.

"Oh fuck..." Wooyoung muttered, not caring about if his words got recorded or not. He became too invested in watching as Y/N continued fingering herself in front of him. She looked absolutely exquisite, body drenched in the rippling water as she continued to stuff her pussy with another one of her fingers. Her eyes shut tightly and her head tilted back as she let out even louder whimpers when she began scissoring inside her fleshy core. Her hand that was on her breasts pulled away to twist the showerhead knob so the pressure of the water could be at its lowest setting. Without the intense sound of the splashing water, her strangled noises became more audible as well as the slopping and squealching sounds her dripping pussy was making due to the intensity of her rapid finger movements. Wooyoung could clearly see and hear that the sounds were definition not due to the shower she was taking. Y/N was definitely horny and the slick her heat collected was clear evidence of it.

Having someone as hot as Wooyoung not only watching but helping her film something that thousands of other people would see, and more likely than not jerk off to, made her weak. She loved having people watch her do naughty things as she was doing now, it thrilled her and riled her up even more. And she loved seeing the effects it had on others, like the obvious bulge in between Wooyoung's thick thighs. She could practically make out just how big he was given how painfully hard his erection seemed, and that image served to help push her over the edge. With high pitched whines and cries, she shuddered as she felt herself cum all over her hand, her fingers slowing their movements down to help prolong her orgasm without making her become overly sensitive. She panted heavily as she took out her fingers and brought them up to her lips so she could lick off the secretion left from her climax.

Wooyoung's tongue poked out as he witnessed the pornographic image of Y/N drinking up her juices as if it was a delicious and sweet dessert.

"It probably is and it only makes me crave to have her smother my face with her pussy even more." He mused inwardly to himself.

He was so lost in his fantasy that he didn't notice Y/N had completely turned off the water and finished until her breasts were displayed right in front of the camera lens. He let out a soft stutter when her hand came up and pressed the pause button, being careful not to drop any water onto the camera.

"I'm going to finish drying myself off in my room so you can have some .....alone time." She snorted softly as she passed by him, her hand brushing against his crotch which made Wooyoung hiss softly.

Grabbing the towel that was hanging on the wall, Y/N wrapped it around her body, tucking it in so it wouldn't fall down. Stooping over, she picked up her lace panties and looked back at Wooyoung.

"Here, in case you need a little help." She flung it over to him, which he catches in his free hand.

Wooyoung stared at the underwear and then at Y/N with a dumbfounded expression.

"So I take it this is why you specifically wanted 19 plus people?" He quirked an eyebrow up, one corner of his lips pulling up into a knowing smile.

"Yes. I might as well mention now that I'm a camgirl with a porn channel." She explained.

"Yeah, I kinda figured that out when you flashed your boobs at me."

They both bursted out laughing at his little joke.

"Ok but seriously, are you sure you're comfortable with all this?" Y/N asked.

Wooyoung looked down at her before looking back down at the panties in his hand.

"I'm definitely going to be hard most of the time, but I think I'll be fine." He assured her with a mischievous smile as he set down his camera on the vanity dresser. With a sly smirk, he began unzipping his pants, not missing any of the facial reactions she was making as he began to pull his cock out of its confinement.

"I mean, I got up close fap material with an actual pornstar. What guy wouldn't want my job?" Cocking his head to the side, he rubbed the tip of his dick with his thumb, spreading some of the precum down the shaft. Although she had said she would give him alone time, Y/N couldn't move her feet out the door as she stared intently at the way Wooyoung hugged his length.

"Wanna watch me jerk off with your panties to your image?"

Stepping forward, Wooyoung reached up and pulled the towel off Y/N's body, causing her to inhale sharply at his bold move. Sucking in a breath, Wooyoung shamelessly looked down at her body as he placed the hand that had Y/N's panties around the base of his cock.

"Just stay there and don't move beautiful...."

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ispent5hrscreatingavalidblogname · 2 years

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I almost always write n post what I'd call a kinda new person insight/experience,what am curious about and what I've noticed on every social platform I recently opened an account on-after some few days or weeks of using it,if it takes so long or never for me to write my silly little opinions it means am not feeling the site or not vibing with it-but I guess am feeling it here,so here's my observations

(DISCLAIMER:I'm currently pretending I'm a highschool student again doing some of those their weird experiments so my observations are going to be arranged in that format-dont ask me why)

EXPERIMENT #1 :sign in to the site and create your profile (when the fish is new to the waters what does he do-does he know he is meant to swim or does he jus accepts he has to swim)

OBSERVATION:

Okay,so after I've registered my email and created my username (which I properly recall wasn't that har...you know what Im not going to lie,lets jus forget about that aweful memory for a sec)as well as provided all the information they guaranteed me was necessary i was finally granted access into the site(ok I can hear you rolling your eyes and muttering "isn't that why you're here,I think that's pretty obvious" buh what you should be really wondering is how the f**k I heard your eyes rolling,I mean does it make some sound when it rolls and even with that how did I hear it when you are reading a text I wrote many hours ag.......ok enough of that now).As I was saying "finally I was granted access into the site' so I was now like what do I do from here buh I think tumbrl was aware of of my distress and inexperience with that sort of thing that they kindly offered me with a list of topics I may be interested in to choose from,and when someone offers you something kindly no matter what it is-a piece of clothing,a kiss or even some mighty feast you are sure your stomach can't handle at once you accept it and eat it like a man...or a woman(even though it jus means you're a glutton)so I made sure I picked every single topic-yeah every single one.So after I cleared this part,I saw the very first post I ever read in this site(I'd be revealing what this was in some other post,some other day) that's when I went onwards to experiment #2

EXPERIMENT #2: Edit And Customize Your Page (Because he has been given control of who he becomes he sees he has the ability to shape himself and therefore shape the things around him and accepts he has become god,but so soon he forgets he was given that ability in the first place)

OBSERVATIONS:

Alright this was actually my favorite part of all the processes,adding my own touch to my page turning it the way I want I see now though that I've not totally finished this process there are still alot of things I wish to still update on my page but am sorry I haven't really had time to spend alot of time online or even on any platform nowadays but I hope things would clear up soon.So I started customizing the page the way Id feel comfortable with profile pics and Everything,I found myself using the color light blue as my page theme(am not really sure what the exact color is buh am sure it has B.L.U.E in it's name),for one thing Im not really crazy about blue sometimes I even try avoiding it buh I've found out the color always have a way of finding it's way around and into my graps,like a good chunk of my clothing's have a touch of blue on it,the footwears I've been rocking for some while now all have a touch of blue,my lamp I use for late night studies has it,my new notebook I use for writing and pitching ideas to myself has a blue lined design across the boarders of it,and my phone when I picked a color at random I thought I will end up with something like pink or black for my troubles........Out of 12 colors to choose from you'd think I might have really escaped blue well guess what-am using a totally blue backed phone right about now so that turned out to be a bad idea,well I guess there are really some things we can't jus escape,mine had to be the color blue 😢

Okay,I think I've written enough for one day...tommorow I'd be posting some more OBSERVATIONS about this site,things i have one or two things to say about....I'd be serious this time I promise.

#tumbrl #delema #excited #Ipronouncejudment #blog #Mythoughts #pointless thoughts #good?

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prxttypxrker · 5 years

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[secrets: part seven]

[part] one two three four five six

[tags] @falling-stars-never-cry @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @hphmincorrectquotes

You had family over.. you had family over? The only person you ever mentioned was your older sister, whom you lived with, and the late parents you lost at a young age. There were family friends and your sister's boyfriend, sure, but never any other actual blood relatives. The text you sent sat uneasy with him. While he was happy you weren't ignoring him for as long as he expected, the confusion of who you could've meant was tenfold. Does he ask you at school tomorrow? Or does he just bypass his curiosity and let it slide?

Peter flipped over on his bed, staring at the phone sitting between the pages of his chemistry textbook. He'd been debating calling or not—considering you did say you had family over and couldn't meet with him. However.. maybe you could do a phone call? Or a text. Texting sounded better. You wouldn't be able to hear his very unnecessary desperation to figure you out just for tonight.

He threw his head down and groaned into his pillow. If he didn't have a crush on you he wouldn't have been as persistent. And it was overwhelming. He didn't recall any moments he felt like this when he liked Liz last year; not even when he found out her dad was Vulture and had to fight him. That was crazy, but it didn't meld his mind as much as this did. He didn't even think he could like someone this much after that whole experience. “Hey.” He turned his head enough to see his Aunt May leaning against the doorway. “Are you going to call her?”

He sat up immediately, turning his screen off and shutting the book he was reading just to help you on the project. “What? Call who? I don't know who you're talking about.”

She stared at her nephew for what felt like eternity before giving him a small smile and shaking her head. “I won't ask what it's about, but if it has to do with a certain superhero swinging around the neighborhood—well—I’m sure she'll understand once you have a real talk with her. I know she wouldn't want to jeopardize your friendship either.”

He didn't say anything—he couldn't, really. There were moments he forgot his aunt discovered that he was Spider-Man, so whenever she discreetly brought up the other side of his double life he was taken aback. Although this time, he was more than glad she had a sixth sense about what went on in his life. He cleared his throat and nodded his head slowly. “Yeah.. yeah, I'll make sure I talk to her. Thanks, Aunt May.” She gave him another smile and turned to head back into the kitchen. He immediately opened up the book and turned his phone back on.

While he was trying to decide whether calling was a good idea, you were sitting at a dinner table with your sister Katrina, her boyfriend, and pretty much the only person your parents were extremely close with. Everyone was engaged in lively conversation while you could barely get a word in. It all made sense, but for some reason you still couldn't wrap your head around the fact that your crush was also the one who prevented what would have been a tragic event in your life. A part of you preferred he was just making new friends that would replace you guys in the future. At least then you could cope and talk it out without having second thoughts. This was a whole other situation. Peter was an actual hero, not the regular, run-of-the-mill kid who takes city crimes into his own hands. He was skilled and friendly and as selfless as anyone with powers could be. Not to mention he worked with Iron Man; you remembered seeing that ship 'incident’ on the news the year before. As well as photos and videos people would post online of the two of them taking on bigger jobs together. It was amazing and impressive, but something still bothered you.

“Y/N.” You looked up from the phone sitting next to your plate, sending it to its black screen before acknowledging your sister. “What’s up?”

“Nothing. Just some stuff about homework.” It didn't seem like she believed it, but she only shrugged and continued on with the conversation with her boyfriend. They didn't give it a second thought, but the other guest clearly did. You watched him glance between yourself and the device, raising his eyebrows. Was the conflict really that obvious? Could he see that you were struggling with a friendship? Or were your mixed feelings with the current situation making their way into your eyes? “Um,” you cleared your throat and stood from your seat, “I'm gonna go work on that project Miss Simms gave me.”

After saying an early goodnight to the other three in the room, you made your way down the hall toward your bedroom. You closed the door and breathed out a large sigh, throwing yourself on the bed. You laid on your back so you could see the ceiling; see the space where you had half of the pictures of you, your friends and family stuck with tape and staring straight at you. It felt weird to have photos up at first, but over time you would look at them each time you just needed someone and they couldn't physically be there. Mostly during your moments of sulking or frustration, in which you hated bringing down the moods of others so you would look at the smiling faces above you to keep you sane. You hoped they would still help with something as big as this.

You sighed and rolled over onto your stomach, deciding that if you weren't going to talk to him yet, you might as well actually work on that project. While you started doing the worksheets there was a light knock from the other side of the door. “Come in.”

“Hey, misfit.”

At the sound of the all too familiar voice you put everything in your hands down and sat up, giving the man your full attention. “You haven't called me that for a while.”

“Now that's because you haven't caused any trouble in a while.” You rolled your eyes, smiling up at him as he gave you one in return. “So what's up? Why have you been ignoring me?”

“I haven't.”

“You're a terrible liar... definitely got that trait from your dad.”

You frowned and he gestured toward the open spot on your bed, waiting for you to nod so he could sit down. There was a silence that hung in the air as the two of you sat there, both looking around different pieces of your room. It was a silence you always hated when it was between you and him. You much preferred the weird, fatherly or innovative talks that would happen whenever you'd see him. After your dad passed away with your mom, he was the only one that was able to tell when something was bothering you or if you were lying about anything. So after another minute or so of quiet, you spoke up. “Why didn't you tell me?”

He sighed, letting the question sink in on both ends. He then adjusted his position so he could look at you properly. “It wasn't my place to tell you that. It’s his responsibility to decide when to say who he was to any of you. I've just been there as the... moral support, you could say.”

You snorted, “Snarky Tony Stark as moral support? That I would like to see.”

The billionaire raised an eyebrow and grinned at you, seeing that his said snarkiness had been rubbing off on you more and more. His gaze found its way to the object with the screen displaying your contact list. There were times he forgot how much you grew since that tragic day, but seeing the extent of what you'd been going through the past few months helped him see that you had more than just normal, teenage issues. You had a knowing crush on a boy who went around saving pedestrians and putting his own life at risk once in a while. All while having a father figure who had an arc reactor in his chest, flew around in an iron, red and gold suit saving New York from aliens with other heroes, was part of Earth's best defenders, and had a mind so big only those truly intelligent could fully understand him. “Talk to the kid. He goes through a lot. He could use someone like you on his side.”

Without waiting for a response he pulled himself up from the sitting position and made for the doorway. You bit your lip when he took a step out. You didn't want the chance to say it slip by, so just as he was halfway down the small hallway, you let out a small shout. “Thank you, Uncle Tony!”

With his rare modesty in check after your miniscule burst, you went back to the materials laid across the mattress. Your eyes combed over everything, stopping at the name that both frustrated you and sent waves of butterflies in your belly every time you heard it.

Neither of you were aware the other knew about having a crush on one another; these types of instances almost never happened, especially during high school. It was a decision of part temporary confidence, part consideration, and part nobody wanting to lose a friendship out of this. You were both unsure for different reasons, but at the end of the night feelings were only an excuse. In your beds, you each took a deep breath and pressed the name on your phones.

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