#-website is run by a very bad person?? nah dude

[leadendeath]

i was actually thinking about deleting but FUCK the haters i’m not a bad person just because i have a furaffinity account…wtf.

#i am not here for virtue signaling and puritanism what the actual fuck #i was having a good time i found people i loved (in one case Really Love) and anon expected me to throw all that away just because the- #-website is run by a very bad person?? nah dude #we are both ‘psychotic disorder havers’ btw which i don’t wanna have to talk about publicly… #i would’ve thought he’d understand and make an allowance for me being slow and stuff #so i won’t! you don’t deserve that kind of oversharing/exposure from me lol #everyone else who is lovely: as you were! we all good 😊 #i lament for a day and then i recover. i come back stronger. hell yea 💪

[headphones-ct-09978]

Sopapillas. 

Miguel O’Hara X Reader one-shot

Summary: You and Miguel share a small moment.

A/N: I haven’t seen the movie yet, so this is based on what I could scavenge from various Marvel websites and some spoilers. This in and of itself holds no spoilers, but I’ll tag it under “Spoilers”. 

Warnings: None. Maybe some really bad spanglish (I’m Mexican but my spanish is fucking AWFUL)

(If any of my spanish is cringe or bad, please please please, correct me and suggest phrases to me. I'm totally open to criticism here!)

. “Miguel? Eyo, ¿dónde está, man? I got you some sopapillas! I think some sugar could do you some good.” 

You wandered around the large room where most of the tech was located. Various holographic screens were up, displaying what appeared to be some kind of surveillance system. Miguel was the one working tirelessly to find a way to…well you honestly had no idea. All you knew was that you were here, in this corner of the multiverse, with others like you. Apparently you were supposed to be a spider person, but something in your timeline went wrong, and you ended up there. You had no powers, but also no motivation to return to your former life. To be fair, going back to that absolute shit show of a life was the last thing on your to-do list. Instead, you settled for being a sort of assistant for Miguel. He usually had you run small errands, maybe keep tabs on certain things, or help with technical issues. You often wondered why, since Miguel seemed more than capable of doing everything himself. But, he did seem very overworked and just downright stressed out 24/7, so perhaps he did need the extra help.

You looked around, holding the styrofoam box in your hands. You were about to call out to him again, when a screen to your left suddenly flickered off, revealing the towering man behind it, causing you to jump. “GAH!!” you exclaimed, startled by his sudden appearance. 

There were slight bags under his dark eyes and he looked as if he hadn’t slept in days (which was actually the case).

“Geez dude, you keep giving me heart attacks.” you said as you handed him the small box. “Got you a little something to help with the night shift.”

His brown eyes flicked down to what you were handing him and he blinked, his nose twitching in what could only be confusion or exhaustion. After a moment he sighed and took the box. “Thanks.” he mumbled before opening the box, grabbing a sopapilla and biting it. You caught a glimpse of his fangs, which made you shiver. ‘Dioses, those things look freaky.’ you thought. 

“Did you double check that timeline I told you to investigate?” Miguel cocked an eyebrow at you, his eyes regarding inquisitively. You nodded. “Sí,todo bien. I triple checked too.” 

You waited for a snarky remark about something or other, or for him to suddenly get annoyed by something, but nothing happened. Instead, he just stared at the screen to your right. You turned and saw…another version of yourself. You, the you in the video, were at a party it seemed. You were dancing and laughing, looking happier than you’ve ever felt. 

“When is that?” you asked, pointing to the holographic display, the orange glow of the screen reflecting off the gold wrist cuff you wore. 

“It’s apparently you in earth-3499, pre-serum you.” he said before taking another bite of his snack.

“Pre-serum? I don’t get bitten?” 

“Nope,” he wiped some sugar granules off his bottom lip with his thumb, and licked the rest off. He put the box down on the consol beside him and brushed his hands off. “You, in this canon universe, were injected with this serum that combined the original super-soldier serum paired with an experimental serum that had both spider DNA and some other experimental tech.”

I cringed. “Oh no, not the nano robot thingies from earth-7569.” 

“Nah, it’s something else.” He turned the screen off and leaned against the consol. He nodded to you, beckoning for you to join him up on the consol platform. You hurried up the steps and joined him. Beside him, you could clearly notice the size difference, realizing how tall he was. You glanced at him and leaned against the black console as well. 

“¿Qué pasa, hombre? No eres tú mismo. Dime, ¿qué te molesta?” 

Unlike most of the spider people around, he seemed more relaxed around you. He shared things with you, usually about his family. You couldn’t fathom why, but you consider yourself lucky to at least be in this man’s good graces. 

He looked at you, curiously, brows furrowed as if he was trying to solve a puzzle. 

“¿Por qué no quieres volver? Tenías una vida, una familia, cosas que la mayoría de nosotros luchamos por recuperar…”

You started to fidget with the sleeve of your jacket. “No sé... Supongo que mi vida canónica no fue tan... genial como la mayoría supondría.” 

Miguel placed a hand on your shoulder, in a consoling manner. You continued, “No significa que no los ayudaré a todos, simplemente no me siento obligado a volver a mi antigua vida.”

He nodded. He was about to say something else when another screen popped up with a new developing timeline. He swiveled his head, and watched as the events unfolded. He groaned in annoyance. “Oh great, what now, another canon fuck up?” 

As you both watched the timeline thingy, you unflinchingly watched as the spider-person on the screen got hit by a train. 

“Canon?”

“Yep.”

“Anything I can do?”

He pointed to the box you had given. “You get yourself something to eat. I don’t want you hangry tonight.”

You scoffed playfully. “You’re one to talk.”

 He shot you a miffed glare and threw the box at you, which you caught with ease. You chuckled, both out of unease and nervousness. “¡Que era una broma! ¡Solo una broma!”

“Uh huh, yeah, sure.” he said, sounding unimpressed.

You chuckled to yourself as you left the room. Had you turned around, you would’ve seen him shake his head and allow a small smile to grace his lips. “You’re a pain in the ass.” he mumbled. 

-end-

#miguel o'hara #spiderman-2099 #Miguel O'Hara x reader #one shot #Miguel O'Hara #across the spiderverse #MCU #marvel mcu #mcu fic

[welllpthisishappening]

Welllp These Are Books: the February 2021 Edition

Most of my last month was spent on deadline and waiting for people to respond to my emails, which meant I did not have the time (or energy) to write much of anything, but had plenty of time to read, quite frankly, an absurd number of books. Some of which were very good, some of which were very cheesy, and some of which I have now told multiple people was quite possibly the worst book I have ever read. As always, though, what are my opinions if I am not sharing them with the internet? Ridiculous headlines, links, and those aforementioned opinions under the cut. As always, part two, feel free to send me any and all recommendations. It cannot possibly be worse than this one book. Seriously, you’ll understand in a second.

———

Quite Possibly the First Book I’ve Gone Out of My Way to Buy On Release Day Since Breaking Dawn, Which Says a lot About Me. As a Person.

A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J. Maas

Nesta Archeron has always been prickly-proud, swift to anger, and slow to forgive. And ever since being forced into the Cauldron and becoming High Fae against her will, she's struggled to find a place for herself within the strange, deadly world she inhabits. Worse, she can't seem to move past the horrors of the war with Hybern and all she lost in it.

The one person who ignites her temper more than any other is Cassian, the battle-scarred warrior whose position in Rhysand and Feyre's Night Court keeps him constantly in Nesta's orbit. But her temper isn't the only thing Cassian ignites. The fire between them is undeniable, and only burns hotter as they are forced into close quarters with each other.

Meanwhile, the treacherous human queens who returned to the Continent during the last war have forged a dangerous new alliance, threatening the fragile peace that has settled over the realms. And the key to halting them might very well rely on Cassian and Nesta facing their haunting pasts.

Against the sweeping backdrop of a world seared by war and plagued with uncertainty, Nesta and Cassian battle monsters from within and without as they search for acceptance-and healing-in each other's arms.

I’m not kidding when I tell you that I was counting the days until this came out. I was kind of indifferent to Nesta after the original ACOTAR books, but intrigued enough that I was like, I need to read this, and then I did read this and now I care quite a lot about Nesta. And how in love with Cassian she is. And vice versa. Because, let’s be honest, dude is in l o v e. There were some parts of the story I was not super into — namely, Ferye having to die in childbirth. Like, you’re telling me Cassian could have his guts hanging out at one point and we don’t know how to do a c-section? Nah, that ain’t it. Also, pregnancy as a storyline is not always my favorite thing, but more on that in a second. Also, also, here’s a bunch more words about ACOSF.

A “Huh, So That Happened” Sort of Ending. Which Was Disappointing.

A Vow So Bold and Deadly by Brigid Kemmerer

Emberfall is crumbling fast, torn between those who believe Rhen is the rightful prince and those who are eager to begin a new era under Grey, the true heir. Grey has agreed to wait two months before attacking Emberfall, and in that time, Rhen has turned away from everyone--even Harper, as she desperately tries to help him find a path to peace.

Fight the battle, save the kingdom. Meanwhile, Lia Mara struggles to rule Syhl Shallow with a gentler hand than her mother. But after enjoying decades of peace once magic was driven out of their lands, some of her subjects are angry Lia Mara has an enchanted prince and a magical scraver by her side. As Grey's deadline draws nearer, Lia Mara questions if she can be the queen her country needs.

As the two kingdoms come closer to conflict, loyalties are tested, love is threatened, and an old enemy resurfaces who could destroy them all, in this stunning conclusion to bestselling author Brigid Kemmerer's Cursebreaker series.

I loved the first book in this series. Absolutely adored it. So much so that I pretty quickly got the second one and read it. Enjoyed that on its own, but like I said in that one ask, I’m fairly certain A Curse So Dark and Lonely could have very easily been a standalone story. Should have been a standalone story? There was just SO MUCH going on here, and not nearly enough of it was resolved. Plot points just hung by the end of the trilogy, I was not ever entirely convinced Rhen and Harper were actually in love, let alone liked each other, and I thought Rhen got the very short end of an exceptionally cracked stick by the time the whole story wrapped up. Really, I think this  tried to do too much in not enough time and there should probably be another book. Also Lia Mara getting pregnant was dumb. There I said it.

Free Books On Amazon Unlimited That Were Better Than Expected, But Also Read Like Fic

The Bargainer Series by Laura Thalassa

Everyone knows that if you need a favor, you go to the Bargainer to make it happen. He’s a man who can get you anything you want … at a price. And everyone knows that sooner or later he always collects.

Callypso Lillis is a siren with a very big problem, one that stretches up her arm and far into her past. For the last seven years she’s been collecting a bracelet of black beads up her wrist, magical IOUs for favors she’s received. Only death or repayment will fulfill the obligations. Only then will the beads disappear.

But for one of his clients, he’s never asked for repayment. Not until now. When Callie finds the fae king of the night in her room, a grin on his lips and a twinkle in his eye, she knows things are about to change. At first it’s just a chaste kiss—a single bead’s worth—and a promise for more.

For the Bargainer, it’s more than just a matter of rekindling an old romance. Something is happening in the Otherworld. Fae warriors are going missing one by one. Only the women are returned, each in a glass casket, a child clutched to their breast. And then there are the whispers among the slaves, whispers of an evil that’s been awoken.

If the Bargainer has any hope to save his people, he’ll need the help of the siren he spurned long ago. Only, his foe has a taste for exotic creatures, and Callie just happens to be one.

No one is going to be able to convince me this wasn’t ACOTAR fan fic. I don’t care about timing or dates, or whatever. The similarities just...did not stop. In all three books, even. There were three books in this series, by the way. Most of which I really enjoyed. I read them all in like four days of email waiting, so they must have been doing something right. Des was a good love interest and I really liked the flashbacks in the first book. Also Callie didn’t super annoy me. That being said, whoever edited this book. Oof. Some of the prose was so goddamn cringe, I literally lol’ed. Right out loud. Every now and then it was like we had to be reminded that Des was a BAD GUY ™ but it felt very Edward “I’m a killer, Bella” Cullen, and Callie’s internal monologue was occasionally hysterical. Not in a good way. Also Temper was the worst. She was so annoying. Every time she talked, I was like, oh, her again. The first book was the best one.

HITTING ALL MY ROM COM BOXES! BASEBALL! ROMANCE! PINING! ONLY VAGUELY UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN THEY HAD SEX IN THE PORT JEFF DUGOUT BECAUSE I’VE BEEN IN THE PORT JEFF DUGOUT.

Fix Her Up by Tessa Bailey

Georgette Castle’s family runs the best home renovation business in town, but she picked balloons instead of blueprints and they haven’t taken her seriously since. Frankly, she’s over it. Georgie loves planning children’s birthday parties and making people laugh, just not at her own expense. She’s determined to fix herself up into a Woman of the World... whatever that means.

Phase one: new framework for her business (a website from this decade, perhaps?)

Phase two: a gut-reno on her wardrobe (fyi, leggings are pants.)

Phase three: updates to her exterior (do people still wax?)

Phase four: put herself on the market (and stop crushing on Travis Ford!)

Travis Ford was major league baseball’s hottest rookie when an injury ended his career. Now he’s flipping houses to keep busy and trying to forget his glory days. But he can’t even cross the street without someone recapping his greatest hits. Or making a joke about his… bat. And then there's Georgie, his best friend’s sister, who is not a kid anymore. When she proposes a wild scheme—that they pretend to date, to shock her family and help him land a new job—he agrees. What’s the harm? It’s not like it’s real. But the girl Travis used to tease is now a funny, full-of-life woman and there’s nothing fake about how much he wants her...

Living her best life means facing the truth: Georgie hasn’t been on a date since, well, ever. Nobody’s asking the town clown out for a night of hot sex, that’s for sure. Maybe if people think she’s having a steamy love affair, they’ll acknowledge she’s not just the “little sister” who paints faces for a living. And who better to help demolish that image than the resident sports star and tabloid favorite.

Legit, I saw the description for this and I was like—did I write this? Kind of. (Shameless plug to read my own rom com, it also has baseball and pining) It didn’t matter, I loved it. Seriously, it hit all my rom com boxes: childhood friends, best friend’s sister, coming back home under duress, FAKE DATING and, let’s be honest, I am not immune to the use of “baby girl” as an endearment. Every time Travis called Georgie “baby girl” I was like, oh, ok, this is cool. It was cool! I only have two quips. One, that the fake dating didn’t last a little longer. The pacing of the story felt very quick, but that’s also this genre’s style. So I kind of get it. And two, that it happened in Port Jefferson, which is a town in Suffolk County that I have not only been to, but have spent significant time in. Meaning I could picture every single thing, knew exactly where they were and have used the exit on the Northern State Parkway that the final moments of the book took place at. The Port Jeff girls basketball team won a Long Island championship last weekend. In real life, not the book.

In Which Spinoffs Continue to be my Kryptonite. Especially Well-Written Ones

Mistletoe and Mr. Right by Sarah Morgenthaler

Lana Montgomery is everything the quirky small town of Moose Springs, Alaska can't stand: a rich socialite with dreams of changing things for the better. But Lana's determined to prove that she belongs...even if it means trading her stilettos for snow boots and tracking one of the town's hairiest Christmas mysteries: the Santa Moose, an antlered Grinch hell-bent on destroying every bit of holiday cheer (and tinsel) it can sink its teeth into.

And really...how hard could it be?

The last few years have been tough on Rick Harding, and it's not getting any easier now that his dream girl's back in town. When Lana accidentally tranquilizes him instead of the Santa Moose, it's clear she needs help, fast...and this could be his chance to finally catch her eye. It's an all-out Christmas war, but if they can nab that darn moose before it destroys the town, Rick and Lana might finally find a place where they both belong...together.

I mentioned The Tourist Attraction in my January list, and this is the second in the Moose Springs trio. And it’s so good! I wish people were all as nice to Lana as Rick was. It’s what she deserved! More small-town antics, more kissing, another moose. This one was just as cute as the original book, especially because it brought back original characters and Zoey and Graham were so goddamn adorable as a committed couple I genuinely feared for the state of my teeth.

Enjoy the View by Sarah Morgenthaler

Former Hollywood darling River Lane's acting career is tanking fast. Determined to start fresh behind the camera, she agrees to film a documentary about the picturesque small town of Moose Springs, Alaska. The assignment should have been easy, but the quirky locals want nothing to do with River. Well, too bad: River's going to make this film and prove herself, no matter what it takes.

Or what (literal) mountain she has to climb.

Easton Lockett may be a gentle giant, but he knows a thing or two about survival. If he can keep everyone in line, he should be able to get River and her crew up and down Mount Veil in one piece. Turns out that's a big if. The wildlife's wilder than usual, the camera crew's determined to wander off a cliff, and the gorgeous actress is fearless. Falling for River only makes Easton's job tougher, but there's only so long he can hold out against her brilliant smile. When bad weather strikes, putting everyone at risk, it'll take all of Easton's skill to get them back home safely...and convince River she should stay in his arms for good.

Wrapping up the Moose Springs trio, this one might have been my least favorite, but that’s not really saying much. Since I loved them all pretty equally. River and Easton’s banter was grade-A, top-notch, which is a one-way ticket to my reading-heart. Maybe part of the problem (I say problem like there really was one) was that most of the story took place on a mountain. I kind of wanted more small-town shenanigans, and updates on the condos and the state of the town and Graham being mayor. Still, this was very cute. I swooned multiple times. I’ll probably read anything Sarah Morgenthaler writes from here on out.

Seriously, What Is YA? Does Anyone Know?

The Beautiful by Renee Ahdieh

In 1872, New Orleans is a city ruled by the dead. But to   seventeen-year-old Celine Rousseau, New Orleans is a safe haven after   she's forced to flee her life as a dressmaker in Paris. Taken in by the sisters of the Ursuline convent in the middle of the carnival season,   Celine is quickly enraptured by the vibrant city, from its music to its fancy soirées and even its danger. She becomes embroiled in the city's glitzy underworld, known as La Cour des Lions, after catching the eye of  the group's enigmatic leader, Sébastien Saint Germain.

When the body of one of the girls from the convent is found in Sébastien's own lair--the second dead girl to turn up in recent weeks--Celine battles her attraction to Sébastien and suspicions about his guilt along with the shame of her own horrible secret.

After a third murder, New  Orleans becomes gripped by the terror of a serial killer on the  loose--one who has now set Celine in his sights. As the murderer stalks  her, Celine finally takes matters into her own hands, only to find  herself caught in the midst of an age-old feud between the darkest  creatures of the night, where the price of forbidden love is her life.

Like I said last month, I put a hold on pretty much everything Renee Ahdieh had written in my library. And this was just as good as the last series I read. Her world building is just—chef’s kiss, gorgeous. I dream of writing this airy, magical way, that makes you feel like you’re in New Orleans. That being said, I do not know what kid is reading this because apparently this is YA and I had to read every single word to figure out what was going on. Now, I know there are two more books in the series, but this one felt like a lot of set up and I spent most of it being like...will this make sense eventually? It did, but only during a very rushed climax of final few chapters. The sequel isn’t available on Kindle at the library, and I haven’t bought it yet. So, that’s probably kind of telling.

In Which You Cannot Always Depend On Old Favorites

No Judgments by Meg Cabot

When a massive hurricane severs all power and cell service to Little Bridge Island—as well as its connection to the mainland—twenty-five-year-old Bree Beckham isn’t worried . . . at first. She’s already escaped one storm—her emotionally abusive ex—so a hurricane seems like it will be a piece of cake.

But animal-loving Bree does become alarmed when she realizes how many islanders have been cut off from their beloved pets. Now it’s up to her to save as many of Little Bridge’s cats and dogs as she can . . . but to do so, she’s going to need help—help she has no choice but to accept from her boss’s sexy nephew, Drew Hartwell, the Mermaid Café’s most notorious heartbreaker.

But when Bree starts falling for Drew, just as Little Bridge’s power is restored and her penitent ex shows up, she has to ask herself if her island fling was only a result of the stormy weather, or if it could last during clear skies too.

I love Meg Cabot. That should be stated upfront and at the very beginning because for a very long time I have claimed that being Meg Cabot was my dream job. I’ve read pretty much every book Meg Cabot has ever written and was fairly certain I’d be into these once I did read them. Only I was...not. Not really. Everything in this book happened so quickly, I felt like I was the one in the hurricane. People were kissing and then they were having sex and there was a storm and pets and then—it was over? The pacing was all over the place, I had no idea why Drew and Bree liked each other, some guy kicked a dog at one point?? It was weird. Which leads us to—

No Offense by Meg Cabot

A broken engagement only gave Molly Montgomery additional incentive to follow her dream job from the Colorado Rockies to the Florida Keys. Now, as Little Bridge Island Public Library’s head of children’s services, Molly hopes the messiest thing in her life will be her sticky-note covered desk. But fate—in the form of a newborn left in the restroom—has other ideas. So does the sheriff who comes to investigate the “abandonment”.  When John Hartwell folds all six-feet-three of himself into a tiny chair and insists that whoever left the baby is a criminal, Molly begs to differ and asks what he’s doing about the Island’s real crime wave (if thefts of items from homes that have been left unlocked could be called that). Not the best of starts, but the man’s arrogance is almost as distracting as his blue eyes. Almost…

John would be pretty irritated if one of his deputies had a desk as disorderly as Molly’s. Good thing she doesn’t work for him, considering how attracted he is to her. Molly’s lilting librarian voice makes even the saltiest remarks go down sweeter, which is bad as long as she’s a witness but might be good once the case is solved—provided he hasn’t gotten on her last nerve by then. Recently divorced, John has been having trouble adjusting to single life as well as single parenthood. But something in Molly’s beautiful smile gives John hope that his old life on Little Bridge might suddenly hold new promise—if only they can get over their differences.

This isn’t a sequel SEQUEL, but another one of those “exists in the same universe,” or same town, as it were, and it was better than No Judgments. Molly and John actually had a few legitimate conversations before they started kissing. The conflict was still weird and sort of forced, this was not Meg’s usual banter (I fell like I can call her Meg at this point, y’know?) and, again, the ending just felt like it...happened. I don’t know guys, maybe I should just reread The Boy Is Back. Or that quasi Persephone-Hades series. It’s been awhile. On that one, at least. I read The Boy Is Back like six months ago.

ABSOLUTELY INFURIATING ROM COM THAT I CANNOT BELIEVE I FINISHED, SOMEONE GIVE ME A PRIZE FOR FINISHING THIS

Fight or Flight by Samantha Young

The universe is conspiring against Ava Breevort. As if flying back to   Phoenix to bury a childhood friend wasn't hell enough, a cloud of   volcanic ash traveling from overseas delayed her flight back home to   Boston. Her last ditch attempt to salvage the trip was thwarted by an   arrogant Scotsman, Caleb Scott, who steals a first class seat out from   under her. Then over the course of their journey home, their antagonism somehow lands them in bed for the steamiest layover Ava's ever had. And  that's all it was--until Caleb shows up on her doorstep. 

When pure chance pulls Ava back into Caleb's orbit, he proposes they enjoy their physical connection while he's stranded in Boston. Ava agrees, knowing her heart's in no danger since a) she barely likes Caleb and b) his existence in her life is temporary. Not long thereafter Ava realizes she's made a terrible error because as it turns out Caleb Scott isn't quite so unlikeable after all. When his stay in Boston becomes permanent, Ava must decide whether to fight her feelings for him or give into them. But even if she does decide to risk her heart on Caleb, there is no guarantee her stubborn Scot will want to risk his heart on her...

When I tell you guys that this was the worst book I have read in recent memory, I am not kidding. Might actually be the worst book I have ever read. Bar none. And that’s saying something because one time I had to read Ender’s Game in college and that, like, physically pained me. This was awful. Awful people. Awful plot. Awful resolution. AWFUL. Where to start? Well, I’m not going to apologize for spoilers, because God help us all, do not read this book. Ava has been through so many horrible things in her life it was like someone was trying to set a record. Bad parents, cheating ex-boyfriend, dead former best friend who was former because of the cheating ex-boyfriend. Naturally, this made her a control freak because—of course, or something. And Caleb! Oh my God, fucking Caleb Scott. The dickwad. I’ve never rooted for anyone to not get the girl more. When Ava “broke up” with him (they were never really together) I might have cheered. Shitty things does not give you an excuse to be a dick, and Caleb was a dick. Seriously, he started crying about how his ex-fiance KILLED THEIR BABY and I was like—this cannot possibly be a real book. It was! With lots of abortion opinions out of FUCKING nowhere, and weird possessive behavior from, like, every dude in it. Both Ava AND her best friend (not the dead one, a different one) got assaulted at one point. I kept reading solely because I was desperate to see how they rationalized Ava and Caleb getting back together at the end and they didn’t. He showed up on her flight when her boss came up with a fake work trip so he could sit next to her on the plane. What? WHAT?? It was so dumb. So bad. I can’t believe I read it. 

#book recs #fiction rec #rom com recs #fantasy recs #laura reads books #i swear i do other things besides read #really #welllp these are books

[luvknow]

entangled | kim seungmin

genre: spider-man!seungmin x radio dj!reader feat. 3racha & kim woojin | spider-man au ; radio dj au ; college au ; friends-to-lovers  summary: you hate spiders and you hate man and the gods above blessed you with spider-man. wc: 17.3k

It was 10:00 pm on a Wednesday - just after your weekly broadcast of the college town’s beloved radio show, Moonlight Radio. You’re backed up in the corner farthest from the door and it seems there’s no way for you to escape your current situation. With your hands shaking, goosebumps crawling over every inch of your skin, and having absolutely no weapon to save yourself, you thought about how your plants were going to die now that you were one hundred percent certain that you, too, were going to perish.

“Hey, ready to go -?” Seungmin entered the studio, raising a curious brow at your jittery form on the opposite side of the room. As his co-host and close friend, of course he knows you quite well and he knew you were a bit, um, unique but this was beyond his scope of knowledge filed under your name in his mental filing cabinet.

“What the heck are you doing?” he asked.

“S-Spider,” you stuttered, shakily pointing in a direction that lead him to nowhere.

“Another one? That’s like the fifth one this week. Where?”

“N-Near this mic stand.”

“Really? They keep getting closer to you... Maybe they like you ~”

Your glossy eyes glared at the playful brunette. “I hope it bites you when you kill it.”

“Well, I’m not going to kill it, so either way you lose.”

“You’re such a spider sympathizer.”

“Hey, spiders play a vital role in our ecosystem! They’re excellent at regulating insect populations. Would you rather have an overpopulation of mosquitoes and other bugs that can fly and easily jump on your face?”

“No…”

“Ok then, let me do my good deed for the day and set this little guy free.”

Seungmin took one of your script papers that sat next to the eight-legged demon and scooped it up without a problem. It was moments like these when you thought he was the bravest boy you’ve ever met and you hated how often those moments came because one day, without thinking, you’d slip up and say it out loud. He cracked one of the windows open and gently shook the spider free from the paper.

“Can spiders survive a ten-story drop like that?” you asked once the waves of relief calmed your body, mind, and soul.

“I’ve seen a few that have,” he answered simply. “Now are you ready to go? I’m starving.”

“Yeah, let me get my stuff. Where are we going?”

“Where do you think?”

“Five-star restaurant where the bathrooms have those people that hand you a towel after washing your hands and you should tip them out of courtesy.”

“How about a five-piece fried chicken meal with a grumpy Woojin who demands a 25 percent tip?”

“Not quite as luxurious, but seeing Woojin makes up for that. Lead the way, my trusty steed!”

“I should be the knight riding the steed after saving you from spiders all the time, not the steed itself!”

“Same difference.”

Wednesdays followed a very strict schedule: your morning routine, classes until late afternoon, studying and a snack, meet up with Seungmin to go over the script and listen to what music he and the boys picked out, run through the show, and finally end the night with a super late dinner at the chicken place Woojin worked at. Sometimes you and Seungmin would spice it up and eat somewhere with vegetables, but that was only when consecutive Wednesdays at Woojin’s Work made you both feel gross. Even though you were in the last stretch of college and your courses were piling on the difficulty and workload, the weeks were bearable when it was spent in the studio with Seungmin and the town listening in for a couple of hours.

The idea of co-hosting a radio show together sounded ridiculous when him, Chan, Changbin, and Jisung first proposed it to you. The show was already super successful without you, so what was the point? What would three up-and-coming producers and Seungmin with his superstar personality want with someone like you? You had no idea how to work a Launchpad or whatever applications they used to make music. Hyunjin was already in charge of the social media aspect and Jeongin took care of the website and design stuff. Their team was pretty much complete and ready to go on-air - really, you’d just be taking up space.

“Don’t think of it like that,” Seungmin reassured that night. “You’d be like a co-host!”

“Wouldn’t you three be the co-hosts?” you asked the oh-so internet famous 3RACHA.

“I’d love to, but I already have a ton on my plate,” Chan sighed. “It’d be too much for me to handle.”

“I don’t like doing that corny radio talk,” Changbin wrinkled his nose.

“I just didn’t wanna do it,” Jisung admitted shamelessly.

“Ah, so I’m your last resort?” you teased.

“Yes, but you’re our first last resort ~”

“Well, when you say it that way… What exactly does being a co-host entail?”

Seungmin pulled up the radio show’s website on his laptop that had an unthinkable number in bright red located near the envelope icon. “All the questions in the inbox on our website are overflowing and it’s getting harder for me to answer all of it. It’s hard for me to answer them when we’re on-air, too. And these three aren’t exactly the best when it comes to the more relationship-centric asks… You were the only one I could think of that I could trust handling and answering these properly.”

“Wow, really?”

“Of course! I’d come to you for advice all the time in high school, remember?”

Yes, you remembered Seungmin would come to you now and again ask for advice on college, or dating, or even what he should have for dinner, but you never thought much of it until now. To have him ask you to handle such a heavy role on a radio show all because he treasured those late-night phone calls with you made your heart do that weird fluttery thing you didn’t dare try to decipher.

Curse Seungmin and his weird poetic way with words… Who allowed him to read fiction after high school?

“Is that the reason why you asked me?” Clearly, your cheeks were blushing only because the sun was shining brightly on the Quad and not because you were flattered he asked you first.

“I truly can’t think of another person who would be more capable of this job than you,” he told you sincerely.

“So will you join our shit show?” Changbin begged with his big, puppy eyes. Now how could you refuse after that?

“Fine, but the second I get hate mail, I’m tapping out.”

“Deal. We’ll make sure that doesn’t happen.”

Surprisingly, it didn’t happen, at least not in the past six months since you’ve joined the show. The audience welcomed you with open arms the second they heard you answer their questions with such honesty and care. There were some questions that you’d struggle with, like very boy-specific questions that only a dude could answer, so Seungmin took care of those. But together, you and Seungmin were an unstoppable duo with great chemistry and everyone could hear it in the way you’d giggle at his lame jokes or the way he’d ‘wow ~’ at one of your more profound answers.

The only questions you both struggled answering were ones that delved into either of your love lives. You both would get tripped up just a little bit when asked if either of you were seeing someone or were interested in someone, but the questions that had you both stuttering like the air was below freezing to the point that no coherent sentences were being formed?

“Are you two dating?”

“Have you two ever thought about it before?”

“You guys fit the friends-to-lovers trope so perfectly!”

“N-No, that’s not how it is at all…!” you argued to the callers after the millionth time. No matter how many times you’d get asked this, you don’t think you’ll ever overcome the embarrassment. “We’re just really good friends!”

“I don’t know, _____, maybe we should face the inevitable,” a flirty Seungmin winked.

“Seungmin!” you hissed while a giggling 3RACHA fell out of their chairs. Well, he clearly got over the embarrassment...

Almost every show, the chatroom and inbox had sprinkles of comments about how cute you two would be if you ever got together. Because you see those same sentences nearly every single time you opened up the inbox, the thought of it was hard to ignore and push to the back of your mind.

What would it be like if you two actually dated?

“Yo, _____ ~” Seungmin sang across from you  at the table.

“Huh?”

“Spider got ya that spooked?”

“Nah, I’m ok now. Thanks to my hero.”

“That’s right, I am your hero,” he boasted proudly. “But really, is there something on your mind? You seem a bit spacey-er than usual.”

“It’s nothing bad. I was just reminiscing about my up-and-coming on the show for some reason.”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, you’ve improved a lot since then.”

“You think so? I feel like I haven’t done much… Like I haven’t made an impact yet.”

“You’re crazy! The show wouldn’t be where it is now without you. You know, Minho did the math for fun last week -”

“Ha!”

“... and calculated how much more often people are sending stuff in since the day you joined, and he said it’s increased by like 100 percent since then!”

“That’s just double, isn’t it…?”

“Yeah, but a bigger number sounds better, so that’s what we tell the department heads when they ask. So don’t think you haven’t left an impact on this show - it wouldn’t be the same without you.”

Really, when was he so poetic!? It was a dangerous trait. “Thanks, Seungmin. I wouldn’t be as confident if you weren’t my co-host.”

“I’m sure you would have done just fine if it were Changbin or anyone else.”

“Maybe so, but it wouldn’t be as fun or memorable.”

“Stop being so soft and order your chicken.” He was terrible at faking being grumpy because his cheeky smile shined brightly anyways.

“Hey, moochers,” a tired Woojin greeted before falling in the seat next to Seungmin. “The usual?”

“You know it.”

“Ok, let me just sit here for a couple minutes.”

“Go do your job!”

“Hey, while you guys get to sit on nice comfy chairs in the studio for a couple of hours, I have to stand for six while waiting on people!’

“It’s not even that busy today!” Seungmin was right - you two and another couple were the only ones in the restaurant at the moment.

“It was busy earlier, ok.”

“Earlier today around 5:00 pm, during the city’s busiest hours, Spider-Man has yet again saved a citizen from tragedy -”

“Ugh,” you shuddered in disgust at the sight of the famous vigilante popping up on the screen.

Seungmin tried not to look too offended. He’s known your incessant fear of spiders for how long now? And he’s been Spider-Man for what, a hot minute? And he had no idea you felt this strongly about him? He’s not that surprised, but at the same time he is because it’s not like Spider-Man was a real spider… His suit didn’t even really resemble one! Maybe it was the big, buggy eyes that haunted you. He’d have to consult with Woojin about that later.

“You don’t like Spider-Man…?” he dared to ask.

“Not really. He has spider in his name, for Christ’s sake. Doesn’t he know how common arachnophobia is? How is he supposed to save the town when a hefty chunk of citizens are probably scared of him!?”

“But he doesn’t even look like a spider?”

“He doesn’t need to when he has a huge black one on his chest.”

He’ll consult Woojin about that, too. “So if you were in danger - like, backed up against an alley with a gun pointed at your head, or something - and Spider-Man swooped down, scooped you up, and jumped far away from the gunman using his web, you’d be more scared of Spider-Man than the bad guy?”

“Of course! I hate heights, too, remember? A man dressed like a spider capturing me in their arms and swinging from skyscraper-to-skyscraper is literally my biggest fear.”

If that was really how you felt about Spider-Man, then Seungmin prayed you would stay out of trouble. He couldn’t even imagine how loud you’d scream if he ever saved you from a situation you got yourself stuck in, not to mention how hard it would be to not tease you about it face-to-face. But knowing you and knowing his terrible luck, one of these days he was going to have to save you from God-knows-what. The only possible situation he could think of was you getting stuck high up on the fire escape, or something stupid like that.

Up on the television, the city’s hero was recorded swinging down using his web thingies like some man spider hybrid pendulum kicking one of the several armed robbers right in the chin. With the second robber, he used his weird webby thing again, but this time used one hand to aim it at his gun and yanked it away from him while using the other hand to trap him between the webs and concrete floor. The other robbers tried to run away, but not before Man-Spider-Dude flung himself forward like some alternate universe Tarzan and used his webbing to cuff their limbs together.

“See, that was kind of cool, wasn’t it?” Seungmin asked, hoping the reporters recorded him cool enough for you to change your mind.

“Eh. Kind of showy, if you ask me.”

Just as you said that, you had to suffer through witnessing Spider-Man finger-gun at the phone camera and salute the citizens of the town before swinging deep into the concrete jungle once more. Was that necessary? Sheesh, what a dramatic exit.

Your co-host watched you roll your eyes at his showboating and turn your attention back on the totally normal boys. Beside him, a snickering Woojin teasingly nudged him with his elbow. He wasn’t that cringey, was he!?

“Well, he saved some innocent people and a lot of money, at least,” Seungmin frowned, so desperately trying to redeem himself.

“That’s really the only upside to superhero-wannabe vigilantes. Otherwise, they’re totally cocky. They’re like a bunch of frat bros.”

Woojin audibly laughed at that one and that’s when Seungmin knew there was no hope in trying to persuade you… But Kims never backed down! That’s what made him and Woojin so unstoppable!

So it couldn’t hurt to try anyways, right?

On a warm and early Sunday evening, when the night was still young, the sun fell between golden hour and dusk. This was when walking home was a pain in the ass because the rays would hit building windows at all the right angles and attempt to burn your retinas. Even so, you couldn’t be mad in the least, because the paper bag filled with crispy french fries cradled in your arms was going to be inhaled in just a couple of blocks once you reached home.

It was beautiful nights like tonight where you felt a little lonely. Yes, living and being alone was calming after a stressful week at school and your social meter was at an all time low, but sometimes you just wanted to share a night in with someone special. You first tried to hang out with Seungmin to avoid the pressure of actually finding a significant other, but when he told you that his internship scheduled him at ungodly hours, including Sundays, you now had to find someone to take his place if you ever wanted to.

Kim Seungmin… your co-host, confidant, and the only boy you wanted to spend your Sundays with. What did that say about you? Were you desperate? Missing him? A typical friends-to-lovers trope, as your audience had put it? You’d worry about that later.

The sun wasn’t so blinding anymore when a shadowed figure blocked the light. Before you could make sense of who or what the figure was, you were promptly knocked down by said thing onto the very hard, very cold sidewalk.

Ginormous, white bug eyes with no pupils stared deep into your frightened soul. Spider-Man, dressed in all his spandex glory, scuffed up and a little disheveled, hovered over your heavily breathing form. From behind the mask, Seungmin froze when he realized that yes, this was definitely you he had knocked down and he couldn’t tell if you were terrified, surprised, furious, or all of the above. He felt so bad that he almost gave you a heart attack, but he had to admit you looked kind of cute looking at him with your big, curious eyes like you wanted to swat him off of you with an over-sized fly swatter. He had to hold back wanting to brush your hair that stuck to your face.

What a coincidence for him to have run into you, huh? It must have been fate, or just really bad karma on your end.

“Hi,” Spider-Man greeted you casually, his face hovering very close to your own. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“N-N-No…!”

“Good. Hurting citizens is kind of against my mission.”

“He went this way!” you both heard off in the distance.

Spider-Man groaned loudly before hopping off of you and extending a hand to help you up. Before you could verbally reject, your body was already moving before you knew it and you took his hand graciously.

He leaned in closely and you hoped his spidey sense couldn’t detect the goosebumps erupting all over your skin.

“If those journalists ask, you didn’t see me,” You could only nod silently. “Thanks. I owe you one.”

In a blink of an eye, the town’s hero shot his web to some random building and flew away, but not before giving you a little salute. The last two minutes didn’t seem real - had you really just met Spider-Man? Well, more like did Spider-Man really just knock you flat on your ass? You were standing in your spot not moving a single muscle as the entire block took pictures and videos of your wide-eyed face staring blankly at where the hero you feared most once stood. A swarm of journalists turned the corner and following the audience’s attention, going straight to you.

“Did Spider-Man fly through here?” one of them asked frantically.

Mindlessly, without blinking, you pointed in the opposite direction he flew to and that’s when you watched the parasitic flock search for the town’s hero.

From up above on a rooftop of a corporate building not too far away, Seungmin watched you keep your word about not revealing his location like he asked, despite your fear of both spiders and man. Did he scare you even more? Or maybe you were just being nice. Either way, something about you protecting his location was kind of adorable… like you might kind of like his other self now.

Oh, but that wasn’t the case at all.

“My french fries!” you cried out to the Gods above.

Every single french fry you were dying to devour from the paper bag scattered in an artistic gradient behind your shadow, with fat pigeons picking at what once was yours. Seungmin sighed tiredly, watching you sadly walk away from the kit of pigeons. His wishful thinking barely lasted a second and now not only did he owe you ‘one’ of something, he now owes you a bag of french fries, too. Maybe if he got the extra large size, you’d hate him a little less.

Your fear of Spider-Man because he had ‘spider’ in his name and a silhouette embroidered on his suit? Nonexistent. Hatred for Spider-Man because he was clumsy, insensitive, and most definitely A Man? Absolutely.

‘I owe you one,’ was what he told you last, and you’d make sure that he’d owe you one big time.

You spent the entire walk home trying to process if what just happened actually happened. Let’s rewind and review: you were studying at the library until you got too tired and too hungry to care anymore; got the freshest, crispiest bag of french fries you could find; happily made your way home; got the shit knocked out of you by Spider-Man; and now you were walking home french fry-less. It sounds like a poorly-written fan fiction, but yup, that’s truly what happened and there was no denying it

The night was no longer young or beautiful now that you didn’t have a bag full of golden, crispy deliciousness. It was miserable.

Seungmin, while still in his suit and hiding in a random alley from the journalists, felt his phone buzz that was tucked away inside of the suit. After taking it out, he was too afraid to answer once he saw your photo glow up the screen. The picture was from your eighteenth birthday, your last birthday before you both entered college. Seungmin booked a reservation at this fancy restaurant that you two would promise one day, when you both had money, that you’d dine there like it was no one’s business. Little did you know, he planned a small get together with a handful of friends and ate like kings! When it was time for dessert, Seungmin brought out your favorite cake, sang happy birthday with everyone, then smudged a whole bunch of the cream frosting onto your cheeks and nose. Normally, you’d be mad, but how could you when he planned all of this?

With the dark surroundings and the only thing lighting up your face was the candles, he captured the perfect moment of you laughing and tasting the cake.

After taking off his mask, Seungmin answered awkwardly. “Hello?”

“Guess what the fuck just happened to me!?”

“You saw a spider?”

“Worse! I saw that no good Spider-Man!”

Seungmin could only pout at your response. “Why do you sound so bitter?”

“That asshat swung down like a vulture and landed on top of me!”

“Sounds like a dream come true, if you ask me.”

“No, because that clumsy, pompous vigilante made me drop all of my french fries from my favorite place!”

Although you were complaining to Spider-Man about Spider-Man, said Spider-Man always thought your whining was adorable. “The place next to the bakery?”

“The very same! Ugh, I just wanted to call you to complain.”

“Seems like that’s all I’m good for these days.”

“Hey, that’s not the only reason I call you.”

“Besides discussing the show, for what other reasons do you call me?”

“I…” In retrospect, maybe he had a point - when was the last time you asked your dearest friend how he was doing? “Seungmin, my favorite friend, how have you been lately?”

“Uh-huh.”

“I’m sorry. I promise to call and not complain to you more often.”

“Thank you. And to answer your question. I’ve been ok.”

“Just ok? Do you wanna talk about it?”

Did he want to talk about how Spider-Man, the show, school, and how his lack of love-life was consuming his entire life to his closest friend? Not really. “Maybe another time. Are you free to hang out, though? I could use some company.”

“For you, of course. At what time?”

“Hm…” Seungmin took a quick second to listen to his surroundings. It seemed that the reporters and passers-by stopped looking for him by now, so maybe he was in the clear. “I can be at your place in half an hour?”

“Sounds good, I’ll be waiting. Can we get food? I’m hungry ~”

“Sure thing. I’ll see you soon.”

After hanging up, Seungmin dared to put his mask back on and swing as fast as he could all the way back to his apartment. It was unavoidable that a couple citizens were able to sneak in a few pictures as he was swinging, but as long as they didn’t see him land on his apartment complex rooftop and run inside, he was in the clear. After changing, there was one stop he had to make before heading over.

You waited patiently for your boredom-saving, famished-fulfilling hero to arrive at your doorstep. It’s true that neither of you had the time to hang out outside of planning the show. Other than that, there was not enough time in the day throughout the school week to see each other. With your classes piling up and his internship, neither of you could match up your schedules or make enough time to grab some dinner. At least tonight would make up for lost time.

You happily greeted a sneaky Seungmin when you heard him knocking. He was holding something behind his back and had his creepy, mischievous smile on his lips.

“What are you hiding…?” you hesitated.

Without a word, he pulled out an extra big paper bag full of french fries from your favorite restaurant - the very same french fries Spider-Man had knocked out of your hands. Only this time, there were more and it came with a handsome boy on the side.

Seungmin adored the way your eyes lit up at his little gift.

“You didn’t!” you gasped, clutching your heart to your chest.

“Do you love me or do you love me?”

“I love you ~!” you sang, welcoming your beloved guest into your humble abode. “Ah, what did I do to deserve you, Kim Seungmin?”

You didn’t do anything. You already had him wrapped around your finger the moment you two met.

Another Wednesday had arrived and that meant another show was to air. Tonight, the moon was so full that even at the darkest hour, the town was still brightly lit. It was the perfect night for Moonlight Radio.

“And we’re back!” you cheered happily into the microphone. “For those of you just joining in, you are listening to Moonlight Radio with me, _____, my partner in crime Seungmin, and our city’s version of Migos, Djs 3RACHA ~!”

“Our city’s version of Migos…?” Seungmin asked, quirking a brow.

“Yeah, you know… The American rappers?”

“I know who they are, but what makes them like the Migos in any way?”

“There’s three of them and they rap, what else is there to compare?”

“Multi-platinum album sales.”

“They’ll get there someday.”

“At least someone believes in us,” Jisung pouted.

“Speaking of beliefs, you guys wouldn’t believe who _____ ran into last Sunday.”

You squint your eyes at your smirking co-host. “The listeners don’t need to know.”

“Of course they do! Who doesn’t want to brag about meeting Spider-Man?”

“I didn’t even meet him, he body-slammed into me!”

“Ah, you’re just being dramatic. What do you guys think?” But in his mind, Seungmin knew you were totally not being dramatic. Was your body still a little sore from that night, too?

The phone lines were lighting up at the mention of the oh-so famous and widely-beloved superhero. Now you had to spend the remaining half of the show talking about how you met the hybrid of your two worst fears.

“Caller on line nine, you are on-air,” Seungmin answered.

“Holy shit, did you really meet Spider-Man?”

You sighed heavily into your mic. “If that’s what you call meeting someone these days, then I guess I met Spider-Man.”

“Whoa, that’s so dope! What’s he like?”

“He’s… charming… I’ll give him that.”

Seungmin’s ears perked up, his ego already escalating into the clouds before he could stop it. You, the first person he’s ever met to admit that they don’t like his alter-ego aloud, thought he was charming? You should have said so earlier!

“Really?” he asked.

“Yeah, I guess. He was like, ‘I didn’t hurt you, did I?’ and I was like, ‘No?’ and he was all like, ‘Good, ‘cuz hurting citizens isn’t in my agenda’ or something corny like that. I guess it comes with the whole superhero package.”

Hey, that was not corny… “He sounds like a pretty cool guy.”

“Yeah, until he made me catapult my french fries behind me.”

“Is that literally the only reason why you don’t like him?”

“No, it’s mainly because I hate spiders. But also yes, because he said he owes me one for chasing away those pesky journalists that were hunting him down. Spider-Man, if you’re out there listening, this is my reminder to you that I’ll be waiting on my ‘one’ that you owe.”

Oh, great. Seungmin thought that if there was anyone he wouldn’t have to see again as Spider-Man, he thought it’d be you, but now you were actually waiting for him to find you! And for what, because he ‘owed’ you something? Although those journalists were annoying and he was very thankful you got them off his back... But what exactly were you expecting from him? What were you thinking he owed you?

Seeing you for a second time posed some high risks. You’re not dumb, and Seungmin knows that. If he were to slip up and give away his identity in some form just once during his interactions with you, you’d figure him out in an instant! But this was kind of exciting, wasn’t it? You not knowing it’s him behind the red suit, scaring you a little, pretending he doesn’t know who you are - it was kind of like a game to him. So fine, he’ll give you whatever you want the next time he meets you to satiate his excitement that isn’t fighting crime, but after that, he’ll stay as far away from you as possible.

“No matter where I go, spiders somehow always find me.”

“Isn’t it scary to be around something you fear all the time?”

“It’s absolutely terrifying. I guess it’s time I face my fears of spiders, man, and Spider-Man superheroes alike.”

“You’re so brave. I don’t know how you do it.”

“Hey, I hear that sarcasm,” you scolded at your chuckling partner. “But I hope this encourages you all to do the same one day. Go skydiving, ask out that cute person in your class, try something different from the menu! Whatever your fears may be, Moonlight Radio will always be here to support you. And with that, we bid you goodnight.”

“Stay safe out there, everyone! This is Moonlight Radio, signing off.”

When the glowing red light shut off, both you and Seungmin sighed in relief. This concluded the most stressful point of your week and you could relax a little until next time. Per usual, you and Seungmin were supposed to eat with Woojin at his chicken restaurant, but you noticed how he was packing up his stuff in urgency.

“What are you in a rush for?”

Shit. How was Seungmin supposed to tell you that he had a sixth spidey sense and sensed someone nearby was in big trouble and he had to change into his spandex right away? “Uh, I forgot I have an assignment due at midnight.”

“Aw, so no chicken tonight?”

“I’ll make it up to you next time, I promise.”

Your favorite boy ruffled your hair into a clumpy mess in front of your face. If he were to see the tiny pout on your lips, then there was a chance he’d give up being Spider-Man tonight just to be with you and what kind of hero would he be if he did that? Not a very good one.

He’ll see you later, anyways.

Before you could object, he was already out the door.

“Hi hello, we would like some chicken, too,” a whiny Changbin noted.

At least you’d have some company tonight. Hanging out with Seungmin versus hanging out with 3RACHA had two totally different vibes. One was chill, relaxing, and comforting while the other was loud, exciting, but oh-so tiring. So much so that you had to tap out early, luckily right before the news came on with yet again another segment on Spider-Man.

On the walk home, you wondered what kind of hours he worked. Was he fighting crime right now, at the peak of darkness? He couldn’t have been a nine-to-five kind of man because crime didn’t have an hourly paycheck. Maybe he strictly worked the night shift and slept in the daytime? That couldn’t have been very fun though, everyone needs a little sun to feel some sort of joy, even if he was a nasty, buggy, creepy little crawler -

“Hey.”

“Ah!!”

From the street lamp above, the bug of the hour dropped just inches from your face, hanging upside down on a thin string of web from his wrists. He was so close and came down so fast that you screamed and fell backwards. Was this it? Was this how you were going to die? From a heart attack and choking on air?

Seungmin mentally slapped himself for not knowing you’d react that way. Idiot-min, of course they would! They practically cry at the sight of a real spider! Now he probably owed you 'two' of whatever you were going to ask...

After getting down from the streetlight, he rushed over to help you up. “Are you all right?”

This time, you swatted his hand away and got up on your own, just as you wished you’d done to the damn arachnid the first time. It took a couple more moments to catch your breath and ease your heart rate, like you just finished running a marathon. If you didn’t hate Spider-Man before, Seungmin’s sure as hell you do now.

“I think I just had a mini heart-attack.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to -”

“Aren’t you supposed to help citizens, not crash into them or fall from the clouds and be all up in their faces!?”

The masked man scratched his head sheepishly. “There’s a bit of a gray area between ‘help’ and ‘harm’.”

“Yeah, clearly!” Now that you’ve come to your senses, it just occurred to you that Spider-Man recognized you from the first time. Why else would he pop up on you specifically just to say ‘hey’? “Wait, do you remember me?”

Time to turn up that charm _____ talked about so much, Spider-min! “It’s hard to forget the people I crash into.”

“It must not happen often then.”

“I promise you, it doesn’t. Otherwise the town would be wiped out… Literally.”

“Wow, lucky me, huh?”

"Of course. And it’s not everyday I get to crash into someone so cute."

"Oh, don't you try and flatter me!"

It was rare for Seungmin to see you so bothered just by one person. Normally, you'd let it go and move on, but with Spider-Man, it seemed like all current and future interactions would be a lot of bickering and furrowed brows. If you were anyone else, he'd be a little hurt that someone could hate him so much, but you weren't just anyone else. You were you, and even with your annoyed expression, your blushing cheeks gave you away. You didn’t hate him.

Oh yeah, this was going to be a lot of fun for Seungmin.

"I'm not trying to flatter you, but it seems to be working regardless," he teased.

"Why are you stalking me?"

"Whoa, what do you mean!? I'm simply taking a break from saving a citizen in trouble! You and I just happened to cross paths once more, like it was fate. Didn't you want to see me again, anyways?"

"Who said that?"

"Well to paraphrase the famous _____ on Moonlight Radio, you're waiting for me to 'owe you one', isn't that right?"

You didn’t have to see his face to know that he was smirking. Regardless, you were quite starstruck - when you said that he owed you one, you didn’t think he’d actually hear you! But it was kind of cool that someone so famous listened in, even if it was him of all people. “You heard that…?”

“Of course I did. It’s my favorite radio show. I also heard you think I’m charming.”

Spidey-Boy took a step forward, but you didn’t dare take one step back. You weren’t about to let some spandex-clad dude intimidate you with his flirtatious wording, even if you were totally embarrassed and wished you could go back in time and stop yourself from saying that. Really, it was so cute the way you tried to stand up to Seungmin, but again, the pink gracing your cheeks put your effort into your unwavering persona to waste. You couldn’t make eye contact with his huge, buggy eye mask, so you focused on the creepy crawly spider right on his chest that kept on growing the closer he came to you.

Then it stopped. Now you’re no longer looking at his chest, but looking at those things he called eyes. They were reflective and you could see clearly how terrified you actually looked.

He leaned in.

"Is that true, _____?" he asked. "Do you think I'm charming?"

"I-I think you're terrifying."

"But also charming, right?"

"If I say yes, will you step back?"

"Oh, sorry." Awkwardly and boyishly, the hero cleared his throat and took a step back. From a safe distance, he wasn't so bad - it's when he's ten centimeters away from your face that scared you.

"You… have a way with words."

A cute laugh came from Spidey. "That's one way to put it."

There's a short silence in between. He knew you wanted to say something by the way you were awkwardly avoiding looking at him. Seungmin would patiently wait for you, but Spider-Man…

"What is it?" he asked.

"Nothing, I was just wondering… Is Moonlight Radio really your favorite show?" you asked shyly.

"Of course. I wouldn't lie about something like that."

There was a little twinkle in your eyes like they held all the stars and your expression finally softened. Seungmin watched you struggle hiding your sweet smile while you stared at your shoes.

With the help of his masked identity, Seungmin could finally say the things he always wished he told you in the moment, from infinite moments before.

"You have a pretty smile."

"Huh?" Did you hear that right? Did the city's superhero call your smile pretty?

"I said…" Spidey-boy took a step closer, but kept his distance. "You have a pretty smile."

"Do you say that to all the people you crash into while running away from paparazzi?"

"No. Just the cute ones."

“Oh, my God, you are so corny! ‘Just the cute ones’, how many is that exactly? A dozen? Several dozen?”

“You know, most people would say thank you after I call them cute.”

“Well, I’m not falling for it! I’m not like most people!”

The boy chuckled again, and it sounded so sweet. “You most definitely are not.”

If this… this boy thought he could just flirt his way into your heart and forget nearly breaking your ribs, he was dead wrong! How dare he be so friendly and casual with you! It’s not like you were friends! What was his deal!?

You straightened your back and smoothed out the wrinkles in your shirt. “If that’s all, I’ll be on my way now.”

“Already? What about the ‘one’ I owe you?”

“Forget I ever said that. You’re off the hook.”

“No, that’s not right. I feel bad.” He wasn’t about to let you go that easily.

“I don’t even know what you’d owe me.”

“How about you think about it until we meet again?”

“Again? When would I even see you?”

The boy in red and blue shrugged. “By circumstance? Or perhaps you’ll get into some trouble? You seem like the type to pick fights.”

“Even if I was in trouble, who says I’d call you?”

“You wouldn’t have to. I’d come flying to your side the second I sensed something was wrong.”

You didn’t understand what that meant, but you really didn’t want to open a can of worms past midnight. “How chivalrous.”

“Thanks. So I’ll get to see you again?” he asked. Seungmin hoped he didn’t sound too desperate. He was just a simple boy who wouldn’t allow his best friend to hate his alter ego they knew nothing about, that’s all.

“If the opportunity arises ~” you sighed casually, walking past the stunned hero.

This was a side of you that Seungmin didn’t know how to handle. Never have you been so standoffish and awkward, but weirdly confident around him before. You were always your cutesy, dorky, loving self. Even when you weren’t talking to him directly, you were just as yourself around other people, even to strangers. But to Spider-Man? He didn’t know this side of you - the one that looked at him like you couldn’t tolerate breathing the same air as him. It was like he was meeting you for the very first time.

You may not like Spider-Man now, but the way you smiled for that split second and the way you entertained his stupid words with your witty responses, somewhere deep inside your cold heart, there had to be a chance that you’d come to like him. Maybe then he’ll reveal himself to you, but for now, he had to figure out how to stop his heart from beating so fast as he watched you walk away. Only you could affect him like that.

He’ll get you to like him, whether you like it or not.

It took you three days to crack and spend Saturday night researching who the fuck Spider-Man was. Thursday was spent being pouty and bitter about the night before. (“What’s up with you?” Seungmin asked. “Nothing, I just hate everyone.” “Sounds about right...”) Friday was spent playing as your own devil’s advocate trying to justify why he was the way he was. (“I guess he wasn’t so bad. He wasn’t mean to me, or anything. And he did want to pay me back for the french fries…”) And Saturday morning and afternoon was spent resisting the urge to care enough that you’d really spend a night on a weekend looking him up while texting Seungmin the entire time.

He loved every second of it.

you [6:05 pm]: did you know his suit doesn’t have any pockets? what genius designed that!?

seungminion [6:08 pm]: maybe they just forgot?

you [6:09 pm]: rookie mistake.

you [7:56 pm]: god, i really don’t like the blue and red... 

seungminion [7:59 pm]: have you just been judging his uniform for the past 2 hours?

you [8:04 pm]: yeah? can’t be a great hero if he doesn’t look cool or have pockets.

seungminion [8:06 pm]: red and blue is cool!

you [8:07 pm]: if you’re 5.

you [9:42 pm]: ohhhh he visits children at the hospital! that’s actually super sweet.

seungminion [9:47 pm]: see, he’s a good guy.

you [9:54 pm]: i didn’t say he wasn’t, i just didn’t like him.

seungminion [9:55 pm]: “didn’t” like him? do you like him now?

you [9:57 pm]: i didn’t say that.

seungminion [10:01 pm]: just admit it, _____! life will be less stressful if you admit your faults.

you [10:04 pm]: i’ll never admit my faults because i’m always right.

seungminion [10:10 pm]: you’re so difficult… just open the door.

you [10:11 pm]: huh? are you here?

Seungmin couldn’t hold back his smile when he read your message. Something about you taking the time to look up what Spider-Man was all about made him miss you. It didn’t help that this gig felt like a full time job on top of everything else, taking time away to spend with you. 

Things were different now that high school was over - no longer did either of you have free time after school to hang out in his car listening to music he picked out for you, or to eat at your heart’s content at whatever fast food place was open past midnight. Nights like those only come once in a blue moon nowadays. One of his biggest fears is that one day, you two would grow apart so gradually that the show would stop, spending time with you would stop, and your friendship would stop, and he wasn’t going to let that happen just because he was Spider-Man.

Seungmin was tired. Because he stayed up late on weekdays to save the city from chaos, his only time to catch up on sleep was sleeping in on the weekends and even afterwards, he felt like he could barely keep his eyes open. But when you opened the door with that adoring smile on your face, he thinks staying up for a few more hours to be with you would be worth it.

Seungmin looked tired. His hair was messy, he had dark circles under his eyes, and his shirt was missing a button. He looked like an absolute hot mess, but his warm smile said otherwise. For him to make the surprise trip over here in this state made your heart hurt.

“Are you ok?” you asked, deeply concerned.

“Yeah, I just had a rough morning… Rough week… Month…”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Maybe another time.”

“Oh, ok.” That was the second time he rejected talking about how he was feeling. You knew he wasn’t one to open up and show his vulnerability, but this couldn’t have been healthy. You would argue if you could, but his tired eyes told you he wasn’t in the mood.

You widened the door gap to let in the tired puppy and he went straight for the couch. There was a little space between his feet and the opposite arm rest and you took your spot there. Soon after though, the sleepy puppy named Seungmin took one of your couch pillows and set them on your lap for him to lay his head on.

Whoa, this was new.

“Wh-What are you…?”

“Can I just rest my eyes for a few minutes?” he mumbled.

“Of course.”

With that, and your hand gently running through his messy hair, Seungmin fell into a deep sleep within seconds. You learned that night that Seungmin snored softly, like an unworried child tucked under his blanket. This boy was such a hard worker and always put everyone before himself that it was no wonder he gets burned out so easily, but this was the first time you’ve ever seen it to this extent. Normally, he’d yawn here and there and flake on hanging out once in a while, but never had he come to your home unannounced just so he could fall asleep on your lap.

Why he found solace in a place like your couch and your lap, you had no idea, but it was nice. It felt so right, but at the same time it didn’t, but neither of you were going to question it after tonight. You would let it take its course and move on with your lives like it didn’t happen because that’s what friends do in situations like this, right?

You’d let your racing heart calm down and erase it from your memory in the morning.

Seungmin woke up with the sun and his head still on your lap. Oh no, had he fallen asleep through the whole night!? Looking up, he saw how awkwardly your neck craned just so you could sleep semi-comfortably in your position. You stayed with him the entire night. You could have woken him up for a few seconds, got off the couch, and sleep soundly in your own bed, but no, you decided to stay here with him instead.

If he could spend the entire day napping with you, he would, but not today. Today he had to get fitted into his new Spidey suit that Woojin designed.

After getting up and carefully laying you on your couch, he did the unthinkable and kissed your forehead. He’s not sure why he did that… Actually, he didn’t even realize he did that until a few seconds after. Maybe it was how cute you looked that prompted him to do so. Maybe it was a thank you for putting up with him all these years. Regardless, it felt good but it made his heart flutter, causing him to smile like an idiot. He probably shouldn’t have done that and he hoped you didn’t feel it, but it felt so right. He left your apartment with his face buried in his hands trying to stop his face heating up and massaging his cheeks because he kept on smiling too hard.

When the front door closed, you rubbed the spot on your forehead and screamed into your pillow.

You haven’t seen Seungmin in a couple of weeks. You avoided seeing him, you called in sick and skipped the show, hell you even tried going to your hometown for the weekend all because you’re sure that you were going to make a fool out of yourself the second you saw him. This was so stupid - one boy laid his head on your lap, stayed the night, then kissed your forehead and suddenly you didn't know how to act!

The only communication you two had was over text. No phone calls or facetime, hell, not even Snapchat. Just short texts of you saying you were sick, stressed, and needed your space. This wasn't so unusual, as Seungmin experienced this side of you a lot throughout college, but this happening after that night was too coincidental. Did he do something wrong? Did you know he kissed you? Fuck, he knew he shouldn't have fallen asleep!

It’s a Saturday night once more and you’ve yet again bailed on him for not feeling well. Of course at this point, he knew you were avoiding him, but were you avoiding him because he overstepped his boundaries and you were fading him out, or because you were just being your awkward self and weren’t sure how to handle this weird limbo in your relationship? He really really hoped for the latter.

Since Seungmin wasn’t going to see you tonight, Woojin had put him on duty to test out the finished version of his new all-black suit - with pockets! The spider on his chest was still just as big, but he hoped that it blended in with the black enough that you wouldn’t be so spooked when you see it, whenever that would be.

On a Saturday night, you’re stuck on the balcony of your apartment flipping through old photos of you and Seungmin. From high school to just a couple of weeks ago, you lazily flipped through the memories like you were playing with a rolodex. You’re not sure how you got here, all by your lonesome - maybe it was because his stupidly cute smile that stuck in your head even while avoiding him, or because your forehead still tingled from his lips, or because even after all your ghosting he still put in the effort to want to see you that made you miss him and go through your mobile rolodex of pictures. Seeing him in person was way too risky, so you’ll stick to this for now.

Was this it? Was this the end of the dynamic duo, live on Moonlight Radio? The two doofuses who got a little too turnt at Prom together? The two idiots who couldn’t form coherent thoughts around each other?

“_____?”

“Ah!!”

The night was dead silent until a black upside down figure called your name and popped up from behind the branches of a nearby tree. By some weird instinct, your startled self dropped your phone in case you had to defend yourself from the over-sized arachnid, all the way from your fifth floor balcony. You were thankful to Spidey-Boy for once in your life, who had caught your phone using his web thingies just before it hit the floor and shattered to pieces.

Seungmin got a hold of your phone and noticed all the pictures of him cluttering in an album dubbed ‘Seungminion’. There were pics of him with his braces, him smiling, him eating, sleeping, crying - you name it, you had it, and he remembered every moment of every picture.

What were you doing just now? Were you thinking about him? His blush couldn’t be seen through his mask, could it?

“Can I get my phone back, please?”

Your balcony railing didn’t look like it could hold a fat squirrel, but somehow a superhero was able to balance on it, squatting like a mischievous cat. Seungmin ignored your tired plea and teasingly shook the phone in front of your pouty face. 

“Who’s this ~?” he asked in a sing-songy voice.

“No one, now give it back.”

“Is he your boyfriend?”

Even in the dark, your blush burned brightly. “No!”

“You have a lo~ot of pictures together ~”

“It’s…” you sighed, feeling your heart sink little by little. “It’s not like that.”

And his felt like it was sinking, too. “Do you want to talk about it?”

It’s funny. You would ask Seungmin that all the time and wished he’d answer you, but now that the tables have turned, you realized why he wouldn’t - you didn’t want to burden anyone with your worries.

“Maybe next time.”

“Why not now? I’m not busy, or anything. Besides, it can’t be healthy holding in whatever you’re feeling.” Seungmin was the epitome of a walking contradiction.

“I’m ok, I promise.”

“Your face says otherwise.”

“How would you know? We’ve met only once before. One and a half, if you count the first time, and both were very short encounters. I don’t think you’d know how I’m feeling based on that and how my face looks.”

“Then let me get to know you.”

“H-Huh?”

“I know you don’t know me very well, and it might be weird talking to me, but I don’t like you like this.”

“Like how…?”

“When you’re not smiling.” Of course, your body failed you and you smiled softly at his corny-ass words. Fine, you’ll give him that one… “There’s that pretty smile.”

“Shut up.”

“I’m serious by the way - do you want to talk about it? I’m not busy for a while.”

Were you really about to tell a stranger in black spandex that you were crushing hard on your friend? What has this world come to!? But you had nothing better to do and neither did he, so why not entertain the town’s hero for a little bit?

“Have you ever liked someone before?”

“Sure,” he shrugged casually. “I like you.”

Your eye roll could not have been more dramatic. He must do this with all of his damsels he saved, right? Clearly, he's had practice trying to woo others before.

Seungmin’s favorite color was the color of your cheeks.

“No, idiot! I mean like… you know… like-like.”

“I didn’t know our beloved radio host was in middle school.”

“Ok, I knew this was a bad idea -” you said, turning to the sliding door.

“Wait, I’m kidding!” Before you could head inside, Spider-Man grabbed your hand. “I was just trying to get you to smile again. Don’t go.”

When you squeezed his hand so he wouldn’t let go, Seungmin’s confidence and ego launched into space. You definitely were starting to like Spider-Man, whether it was school-girl crush type of like-like or you just tolerated him a little more. Seungmin was living the best of both worlds with you, but by the way you were avoiding the real him because of that night and the way you blushed at every word that came out of his masked mouth, was it possible you were starting to like his other self more?

He’ll find out right now.

“So what is this about like-liking someone?” he asked, tugging your forward a bit.

You're much closer to him than you have ever been before. Not considering the first time you met, of course. You've only met less than a handful of times, but somehow the distance in between wasn't so weird.

Seungmin felt your fingers run over the webbing design on his hands. “I’m… confused?” you questioned. That’s one way to put it.

“About?”

“It’s just… I don’t know, it’s weird because I’ve known him for a long time.”

You and Seungmin have known each other for a long time: check.

“Shouldn’t that make it easier on the both of you?”

“No, that makes it harder! With any hot guy on the street, I could go up to him, confess my undying attraction to him, and if he rejects me, then fine, I’ll just never see him again. But with a friend, I gotta consider all possible outcomes if I ever had to confess to him.”

“What’s there to consider?”

“Outcome number one: he could return my feelings, we kiss, and live happily ever after.”

“Sounds promising.”

“Outcome number two: he admits to not returning my feelings, says he would like to stay friends, but it’s too awkward now and we both drift apart until we no longer can stand in the same room together.”

“Now you’re just listing the extremes.”

“That’s not extreme, outcome number three is extreme: he doesn’t return my feelings, says he would like to stay friends but only said that to be nice and he turns up at the next hangout with his new boo thang.”

“Oh, come on, you really think he would do that!?” he whined, completely insulted you’d ever think so.

“It’s a possibility! And I’m not ready to take that risk yet.”

“So you’re stuck in some limbo now, is that it?”

“Yeah… we haven’t really talked since…”

You were this close to talking about the night Seungmin blurred the black and white between friends and more than that with an eagerly-awaiting Spider-Boy, who had moved from squatting like a cat on your porch to standing like a human for once. This was the first time you've seen him posed like a human and for once, goosebumps weren't crawling on your skin at the sight of the spider on his chest.

Seungmin awaited patiently for you to continue on, but you seemed more preoccupied with his chest than your story.

"I just realized your uniform's different," you noted, taking a step back to appreciate the new color.

"Ya like? Black's pretty sexy, huh?"

"Yeah, it's much better than the red and blue."

"And look! Pockets!!"

Spider-Man shoved his hands into the depths of his pockets and you thought to yourself that your FBI agent listening in on your devices must work for Spider-Man, considering he altered his uniform per your suggestions.

You tried to play it off like you weren't creeped out. "What the heck do you need pockets for? Your Spidey-Cell?"

"Ha-ha, there's no such thing as a Spidey-Cell. It's to hold my snacks. But it can hold your phone, if you'd like?"

"Why would I want you to hold my phone…?"

"When I take you on a tour through the city tonight."

You took a big step back and wiggled your finger at the mischievous hero. "You're crazy if you think I'm consenting to that."

"What, jumping around buildings and having citizens take videos of you during the busiest night of the week doesn't sound appealing to you?"

"Not at all!"

"C'mon, you look like you need some excitement and cheering up right now! What else do you have going on tonight?"

"I… have laundry to do…!"

"Just throw it in and come with me! It won't take that long."

"I also have homework."

"That's what Sundays are for."

"I also have to answer some questions listeners sent this week, and make dinner, and oh my God, my blinds are so dusty, and -"

"_____."

Spider-Man took a step forward and held his hand out. The night was alive, and you both could hear it coming deep within the city, where close friends and couples in love enjoyed each other's company. It's been lonely the last couple of weeks and you'll admit seeing Spider-Man tonight was the most exciting thing that's happened for a while, but…

Somehow, this felt like you were cheating on Seungmin.

"Give me thirty minutes," Spidey pleaded. "That's all."

You held his hand once more. There's something about the mystery man behind the suit that painstakingly attracted you to him. It was like fate had plans in stored just meant for the two of you.

"I'm scared of heights," you admitted shyly.

"I'll hold you tight."

"Promise?"

"I promise. I'd never let anything happen to you." And he meant it.

"Ok. Thirty minutes."

Seungmin pulled you in close to his chest and instructed you to wrap your arms around his shoulders. This was the closest he's gotten to a hug for a couple of weeks and he missed it, but he'll deal with your mess of a friendship later. What mattered most right now was how cutely and innocently you looked up at him while clinging on to your dear life like he was already swinging through the concrete jungle.

"Are you ready?" he asked, taking hold of your waist.

"Nope!"

"On the count of three, we'll go, ok?" You nodded nervously. "Ready? One… I lied!"

On the second count, Spider-Man stuck his webbing from the tree he was on and swung from branch-to-branch like some modern day Tarzan. Your shrill screams were the soundtrack to his flight and his boyish laughs mixed in between. 

"You're such an asshole!!" you cried out, burying your face into his shoulder.

"I know and I'm sorry, but it was too good of an opportunity to pass up! But you'll take it back if you open your eyes."

“No way!”

“C’mon, don’t be such a baby!”

“I will cry.”

“No, you won’t. Now please, open your eyes!”

So you did, and your world in the arms of Spider-Man was filled with nothing but color. In a city you often saw as black and white, tonight was like seeing color for the very first time in shades you haven’t even heard of. Every color of light - from the tri-color street lights to the infinite shades of neon - all bounced off of every skyscraper the city held, reflecting off of every square of glass. The lights made your eyes twinkle like there were billions of rainbow stars stuck inside.

Seungmin was so glad to have you here with him.

The people below, as cliche as it sounds, looked like tiny little ants with cell phones recording every swing, every scream, and every smile. The idea of this going worldwide was absolutely terrifying, maybe even more-so than this, but it was so worth it. Never had anyone convince you to do something this crazy before. It seems like you’re sharing a lot of weird firsts with Spidey-Boy.

Seungmin took you to an empty rooftop that was thankfully not too high up, but high enough so that neither of you could be seen. As soon as your feet touched the concrete, your body turned to jello and fell to the floor.

“Oh, hey-!” Seungmin began, worried that you passed out.

But instead, you were in a fit of giggles, clutching your sides and covering your face from embarrassment.

You’re so, so cute, but so… so weird… 

“Uh… are you ok?” he asked, hovering over your still-giggling form.

“No! I feel like I died, went to the seventh layer of hell, and got resurrected twenty times!”

“Then why do you look so happy?”

“I don’t know!” A long, content sigh left your lips before you grinned at your reflection through spidery lenses. “I am happy.”

Seungmin already knew he loved you. But now, he was in trouble - he was in too deep, and there was no way out.

He was crazily, unapologetically, immensely in love with you.

After you collected yourself from the floor, you joined a patient and careful Spider-Man at the edge of the roof. The fearless boy swung his legs freely overboard, and though you weren’t at that level yet, you were brave enough to straddle the parapet.

“Wow, I’m kind of proud of you,” Spidey snickered.

“Sh-Shut up.”

“Don’t fall ~”

“No promises, so you better catch me ~”

“Of course I will.”

For a moment, the two of you enjoyed each other’s company in silence, watching over the city folk who were either trying to get home after a long day, leaving home for a night out, or simply spending it with someone else. The perspective made you feel small - like your situation with Seungmin, the radio show, all the stress of school meant nothing because this, right in front of you, was the bigger picture. It didn’t make sense though, how none of your personal problems mean nothing in this moment.

Maybe Spider-Man had powers other than shooting webs.

“Hungry?” he asked, distracting you from your thoughts.

“Kind of. Are you?”

“Starving.”

“I’d ask if you want to get something to eat, but I don’t know how that would work.”

“We can still get something to eat. See that skewer stand over there?”

Spandex-Man pointed to a busy stand full of chicken, beef, pork, fried tofu, veggie, you-name-it skewer stand. You could smell the delicious spices all the way from the roof. “Mhm.”

“Watch this.”

In the blink of an eye, the webs from his wrist grab onto several sticks and he yanked them back, handing you several scrumptious, juicy skewers faster than you could blink. Then, he took out cash from his wallet (which he kept in his new fancy pockets) and shot back enough bills to cover the tip jar.

“Wow, I bet that’s handy at home when you’re couch potato-ing.”

“You have no idea - I barely get up on my days off.”

The skewers taste better with a side of company. “By the way, you never answered my question.”

“What question?”

“Have you ever like-liked someone?”

“Ah, that one,” he sighed, unbothered. “Of course I have.”

“Oh? What were they like?”

“Where should I begin? They’re quite spunky. They have that no bullshit attitude that’s very attractive. They’re very smart, too, it’s hard for me to keep up sometimes. Most of all they’re so dorky… Dorky like they get scared over the littlest things like bugs and they get excited about things like free snacks in the library. But they’re also kind. I can’t recall a time when they weren’t thinking about others before themselves. And oh man, they have that little twinkle in their eyes whenever they see me - that’s what I love the most.”

“Did you ever tell them you like them?”

He shook his head lazily. “Nah. I didn’t see a point at the time.”

“You’re crazy! You should have told them!”

“Why, so I could get rejected!?”

“But what if they would have returned your feelings!? You just lost something great!”

“Eh, that was a long time ago so it doesn’t matter anymore,” he lied.

“You’re so lame…”

“Says the one who’s making made-up scenarios in your head to avoid your own jump to the death confession!”

“Hey, those are completely possible!”

“And you call me crazy…”

“Bet you won’t tell the next person that comes along that you like them ~”

“Jokes on you because I already did ~”

“When!?”

“Twenty minutes ago. I said I liked you, remember?”

Soon, blushing cheeks would become permanent on your face. “Shut up.”

A loud crash was heard far in the distance, just north of where you two were. You and the citizens below halted for a couple of seconds, like someone had pressed the pause button on the country. Another loud crash was heard and the rumbling of big, heavy footsteps echoed in the night. It was coming in your direction. Then, all warning sirens within the entire city went off, blinking a bright red.

“Please evacuate immediately,” the intercom said robotically. “Threat level: Demon. Please evacuate immediately. Threat level -”

“Demon?” you muttered to no one in particular. “There hasn’t been a Demon-level threat in over a decade -”

“I’m taking you home.”

“Wait -!”

There was no time to wait. Seungmin had to get you out of here and swing back to the city to find out whatever this thing was that made it so dangerous. Instead of flying through the buildings on the busiest and plugged-up streets, he detoured onto the smaller buildings on the safer routes near the outskirts of town where no one could see you. If that thing caught a glimpse of you, kidnapped you somehow, and made you a pawn in its game just to lure in Seungmin, he would never forgive himself. In fact, meeting you as Spider-Man was a complete mistake in the first place.

You made it back to your balcony in no time. The brave boy held you close by the shoulders and even if you couldn’t see through his reflecting eyes, you knew he was staring into your soul.

“Stay inside, ok? “ Spidey demanded.

“Don’t go. Stay with me.”

“You know I can’t do that.”

“Can’t someone else go instead!?”

The footsteps got louder - closer.

Seungmin took your face in his hands, drawing tiny circles with the pads of his thumbs. When that didn’t help you calm down, you watched him carefully begin to remove his mask. What the hell was he doing!? Was he going to reveal himself NOW, of all times!? But no, your panic subsided when he only revealed just below his nose. Then, as if your life was a fairy tale, your prince pressed a soft, loving kiss to your forehead. Time slowed.

“I’ll come back to check on you.”

“Wait -!”

He had already jumped off your balcony before you could grab him and pull him back in the safety of your home. Whatever the thing was, you had no doubt he could stop it. Tomorrow, everything would be back to normal.

There was a shelter in the basement of your apartment complex whenever supernatural things caused the sirens to go off. You’ve lived through multiple Snake-level threats, Tiger-levels, hell even Dragon-level, but never Demon, the highest-level threat to exist. In the dusty and overcrowded basement, all of the panicked residents crowded over the television that hung on the wall.

Before you joined the crowd, you texted every possible friend to check-in and make sure they were safe. Seungmin was the only one who didn’t respond right away. You tried calling, sending multiple texts, snapchats, but received nothing, and you felt like your heart was collapsing in your chest.

seungminion [10:07 pm]: i’m ok, i promise.

You were about to cry on the spot. Slowly, your whole world would come back together, and everything would be fine.

The news reporters were showing live footage of what was out there, with the recording crew bravely hiding in the bushes and rubble of what was left of some buildings. The camera couldn’t get a full view of the thing because its appendages were too long. It looked like some big mechanical spider with claws on the ends of its legs. Just the sight of it on the screen made your skin crawl… why was this city so obsessed with spiders?

In the corner of the screen, a teeny tiny Spider-Man faced the enemy.

Oh my God, he’s doomed! He’s so tiny compared to that thing! And it has claws that could probably cut through the webbing! Every doubtful thoughts and whispers from your neighbors flooded your brain and you couldn’t stand to watch without peaking through your fingers in front of your face.

Seungmin was face-to-face with some other spider-wannabe being. He had no idea who or what this thing or person was other than it looked like it was crafted in an underground laboratory. With long, heavy, and sturdy appendages, it was hard for him to make out the pilot in the cephalothorax. What seemed to be human really didn’t look human at all - more like a crazy, power-hungry scientist on crack.

“Spider-Man! What a coincidence, I was just on my way to see you ~” the man sang. “I’ve been watching you.”

“That’s not creepy at all…”

“But it’s only because I admire you so much! Look, I even made myself a big spider to impress you!”

So he was just some crazy super fan. Seungmin wondered if his intentions were to hurt any citizens at all, or if the pilot didn’t even think about them as he made his way to show Seungmin his creation.

“Do you like it?” he asked desperately. “It’s an homage of sorts - like a sculpture! It’s art!”

“Um… I don’t fully understand it? It doesn’t look anything like me at all.”

There’s a short, eerie silence that followed. Everyone watching in their shelters embedded into the Earth’s crust held their breath, waiting for how the super fan was going to react. If you could hit Spider-Man across the television screen, you would until he was sent into the next dimension. Spidey, you idiot, entertain him a little, would you!? Are you trying to doom us all!?

“So you hate it…”

“No, that’s not what I.”

“I knew it! I knew you would hate it!”

The mechanical spider threw an obnoxious temper tantrum like an angry child without his nap time, swinging its appendages in every which way, hitting everything in its path like a lethal tornado. Nothing was left but dust and gravel by the time the spider sliced through a building. Seungmin did his best to dodge and avoid getting hit, but it wasn’t easy when there were eight things to dodge all at once. Between jumping from buildings to running on the ground, while trying to transition from one platform to the other, one of the legs hit him and sent him flying through a cement wall.

You could practically hear the whole city gasp in unison, with your soft one mixed in as you hide your face in your hands. Oh my God, he was going to get crushed!

But as if nothing had hit him just moments before, the city’s hero jumped back on his feet and went back to the demon.

First, Seungmin tried to tie up his legs together with his webbing. That didn’t work even though the chemical make-up of the silk was comparable to woven steel. The claws were still able to cut through every strand like it was cutting though tissue paper.

“I spent countless hours…! Endless months...!! Sometimes without food or sleep, and you ended up hating it!! I made this for you!”

Another blow to Spider-Man sent him through several concrete walls this time, crumbling the foundation of the buildings as he passed. At this rate, the entire city would be destroyed in no time.

“Come on, you can do it,” you whispered to no one in particular. You hoped his spidey-sense, or whatever, could hear your thoughts.

The more buildings that were destroyed, the more the enemy moved forward, looking for other things to destroy and toss like they meant nothing. Seungmin did his best to follow and try to lure him in a direction that was mostly rubble, but it was no use. Before he could be stopped, the two of them were already at the city’s main bridge that connected it to the other city. It was clear they didn’t get the evacuation memo quick enough as people parked their cars in the middle of the highway and ran in the opposite direction.

The view of the fight could now be seen thanks to two brave men recording in a helicopter. You saw the thing toss cars behind him, at Spider-Man, into the river, and to panicked citizens. Luckily, Spidey was able to catch the cars with ease and you think to yourself that maybe you don’t know him as well as you thought you did, even after all that research. Truly, this man was absolutely incredible in action.

“You hate it, everyone else hates it, where is the culture in this town!? The artistic knowledge!? Lack thereof is absolutely mortifying!” Another car tossed into the river. “No city can thrive without appreciation of the arts! I’ll do you all a favor and rebuild this city from the ground up!!”

You assumed that meant he would eliminate everyone in the city and start with nothing. That was comforting…

A car filled with a small family and a baby were lifted overhead. “I’ll start with them!”

He tossed the car over the bridge like they were just one of many to end up with an unfortunate fate in his metal claws. Spider-Man paid no mind to the cackling man in the body of a mechanic spider and used both of his web shooters to aim at the falling car. They hadn’t fallen too far off the bridge, but if Spidey couldn’t hold on to them, then the drop would be horrendous.

Maybe if the car wasn’t a huge suburban mom-van, this would be a piece of cake to pull up, but it was and no amount of leg days at the gym could have prepared Seungmin for this gnarly dead lift. Since all of his attention was on the van below, Seungmin had a hard time multi-focusing on the demon threat that was aiming a car at him.

“You’re next ~!”

Then there’s a beam of… light? Fire, perhaps? That blinded the television screen. A flying, red and gold-colored armored man swooped in and saved Spider-Man’s and the family’s ass.

“You ok?” he asked, flipping open his helmet to get a good look at him. “No, the suit! I was so sure the material would hold this time!”

Wait a minute… “Is that Woojin!?” you screeched on your end. “What the fuck -!!”

“Eh?” Seungmin looked down at his suit. Only parts of it were torn up and scathed, but otherwise he thought it was holding together rather nicely. “I mean,I think it’s still ok.”

“We’ll discuss that later. Do you need some help with this guy?”

“That would be nice, yes.”

“Bet I can beat him before you pull up the car.”

“Oh, you’re on.”

Once Seungmin got into competitive mode, there was no going back, and Woojin knew that. There was no way he’d beat this super fan, but he needed Seungmin’s help fast because this heavy iron suit could only dodge for so long.

You’re on your tippy toes as you watched Woojin tease and fight the demon-threat. There was no way that was really him... But when you saw his fluffy brown curls and his mischievous smirk before he closed his helmet, you were positive that was the one and only sexy fried chicken master himself. It was just so hard to believe because you’ve never seen him move so much before. You were so used to him slouched over in your booth every Wednesday night.

The car was brought up with some struggling, but nonetheless, the family was safe. Seungmin would feel this in his legs and biceps tomorrow morning, but that was for him to dwell on tomorrow. While Woojin kept distracting the enemy, Seungmin jumped in to help.

“If you can pin him down, I’ll incinerate the appendages.”

“I can’t, I already tried that.”

“What? He can still cut through them? Dammit!” Woojin sighed loudly. “Make sure I modify that along with the fabric.”

“Duly noted. I could try tying the legs together?”

“Let’s try it.”

It was a cat and mouse chase, where Spidey-Boy played the sneaky mouse Jerry and the spider droid was Tom the cat. You watched the clever man weave in and out and in between all the legs, with an appendage following closely behind. With a quickness, he shot his webs towards the limb and pulled close. With his free hand, he took another hold of a limb, and brought it close also. Then the tying ensued, trying to bend and twist the unforgiving metal into what was almost a knot.

“Close enough,” Woojin shrugged. “Step aside.”

You watched a floating Woojin blast a beam of light from the palm of his hand. At the joint where the limb met with the thorax, the mass of energy blew them off one-by-one as Spider-Man did his part. Two legs fell to the floor. Then four, then six, but the seventh and eight limbs were able to fight back. The tips of the claws acted like the tips of knives, piercing and poking everything it came in contact with. Seungmin got hit on his side, the spidey suit ripping along with his skin, and dark, crimson blood flowed freely.

Another eruption of gasps were made in your basement, this time yours being the loudest. You covered your mouth and tried to stop the worrying tears from forming.

“F-Fuck,” he cursed painfully, jumping back to hide behind Woojin.

“I can handle two limbs. Just stay back.”

Seungmin didn’t hear what his boss said. He was too focused on the blood pooling in his hands. It hurt like a bitch, but luckily he wasn’t losing too much of it that he was going to pass out. It was just harder for him to move. In the background, Seungmin could hear the maniacal laughter from the crazy scientist who was having fun playing with his toy. Woojin, on the other hand, wasn’t having any of it today and opted to just incinerate every piece on the spider until there was no more. For a moment, it rained shards of metal, distracting everyone from keeping their eye on the demon-threat. The super fan was able to miraculously escape the explosion, but not before Seungmin tied his defenseless body up like silken chrysalis.

“It’s Spider-Man’s silk…! The intricacy of it! It’s phenomenal, Spider-Man!! Truly, modern art in its final form!!”

“Seungmin, you good?” Woojin asked, bending at his level.

“Yeah… Can you stay with him until the cops come? I need to go somewhere to fix this.”

“Do what you gotta do, but text me once you’re there.”

A drowsy, light-headed Spider-Man nodded before jumping off to God only knows where. There weren’t many places where he could hide from citizens once the word got out it was safe to come back again, so he had to make his way to someone fast, but when the trees looked like clouds and the street lamps blurred to nothing, that might take longer than he expected.

The ‘Threat Level Eliminated’ alarm popped up on everyone’s phones, meaning it was safe to go back to your apartment. Luckily and conveniently, your apartment was one of the few buildings located on the outskirts of the city that was left unscated, so you thankfully still had a home. You’re not sure how you’re going to sleep without knowing if Spidey was ok or not, but you were so tired that your body was sure to forget about it once it hit your mattress.

In the midst of all the chaos, you were so happy that Seungmin was ok. You hoped he was thinking about you, too.

A place for everything and everything in its place - nothing was scathed or shattered or touched, and for that you’re thankful. After a quick scan of your apartment, you headed to bed feeling empty, like you should have someone here to be with and distract you from all the evil in the world.

As if on cue, a knock on your balcony window startled you to death. Outside was a heavy-breathing silhouette of Spider-Man clutching his side from when he was almost cut in half by that thing. You never ran to the window faster.

“Hey,” you whispered worriedly. “What are you doing here...?”

“Please help me...”

Your eyes widened at the size of his wound. It looked much smaller on the television. “You need to go to a hospital!”

“No! No one else can see this.”

“But -!”

“_____, please.”

Reluctantly, you helped the poor boy into your home. He collapsed on one of the chairs in your kitchen while you ran to the bathroom to find anything that would stop the bleeding. Several damp but clean towels and soap were in one hand and a roll of gauze was in another. WebMD said to first apply gentle pressure to stop the bleeding. You were ok with baby wounds and small paper cut drips of blood, but being up close and personal with a gashing, open wound with lots of blood made you lightheaded. Oh my God, why did humans have so much blood!

The next step was to clean the wound, so you used a new towel and some soap to clean around, but not on the open cuts. At this point, Spider-Man’s breathing was slow and steady.

“Hey,” you said, gently patting his masked face. “Stay with me.”

“Hm…?”

“Don’t fall asleep.”

“I’m pretty sure that rule only goes for head injuries.”

“Just don’t, ok? For me? At least not yet, because I’m scared you won’t wake up again.”

You felt like such a whiny baby for not wanting an injured hero to rest just yet, but Seungmin knew you were just worried. Even in disguise, you were always so thoughtful for him, and it was just one of the many reasons why he loved you.

Spidey-Boy ruffled your hair playfully. “Ok. For you.”

Cleaning the wound took a while (“Ah, that stings!” “Then sit still!” “No!”), but regardless, you think you did a pretty swell job and almost considered a change in your major (NCLEX, anyone?). The difficult part was patching up the wound.

Your cheeks blushed for the millionth time. “Hey, uh…”

“What’s up?”

“Can you, uh… Take your uniform off…?”

Seungmin’s heart jumped. “I can’t do that.”

“Why not? How am I going to wrap up your wound?”

“I’ll do it myself. Can I use your bathroom?”

“Sure… First door on the left.”

Spidey nodded, taking the roll of gauze in your hands and slowly making his way towards the bathroom with whatever strength he had left in him. After taking off his suit and mask, he used the door as a means of support while he messily wrapped the gauze around his torso. It thankfully stopped the bleeding, but the problem now was how he was going to get home when he could barely walk.

He felt a knock on his back and panicked, pressing up against it more so you couldn’t open it.

“Y-Yeah?” he asked.

“Are you ok in there? Are you sure you don’t need any help?”

“I’m fine…!”

You left it at that, going back to your seat in the kitchen as you impatiently waited for his return. You knew the reason he wanted to do it himself was so he could hide his identity, but you couldn’t help but feel a little hurt that he didn’t trust you like that yet. I mean fine, this was only technically your fifth time meeting him, but this situation was different - he needed your help.

After half an hour of wrapping and trying to catch his breath, a fully-costumed Spider-Man came out of the bathroom with the gauze sticking out where the cut used to be. You smiled up at him and Seungmin thought that everything would be all right.

Then he collapsed.

With a loud thug, your hero fell to the floor and didn’t move. You ran to him, fell to your knees, and laid his head on your lap.

“Hey hey!” you cried out, lightly slapping his masked face. “Come on, wake up!”

“Mmff…”

“I’m going to take off your mask, ok?”

“No, don’t…!” He tried to object, but the more he talked, the more he lost his strength.

You didn’t listen because how could you just let him slowly suffocate under his mask!? You didn’t care if he’d be mad at you and you didn’t care if Woojin or whomever the fuck his boss was barged in and blasted some memory-wiping light in your eyes because you cared about Spidey-Boy too much for you to just let him do this on his own.

After removing his mask, you felt the walls of your home begin to crumble.

A sweaty, exhausted Seungmin laid in your lap, barely breathing. Seeing him like this brought back every memory you’ve ever shared with him, from high school until now. You’ve only ever come to know the adorable and sunshiny Seungmin, never the one that’s been saving the city from chaos and destruction. You thought you knew everything about him, but it was clear you really didn’t know him at all, and it broke your heart.

It wasn’t fair. He knew everything about you, from your odd habits, to your favorite everything, and now he knew how you felt about being in love. Granted, you never explicitly told him it was him, but he wasn’t an idiot, he knew it all along. Tonight, you trusted him as Spider-Man with your heartfelt feelings thinking that the real him would never find out until you were ready, but that trust was already broken the moment he flew into you on that fateful Sunday evening.

Your entire friendship was a lie.

Seungmin tried opening his eyes after feeling your tears fall on his cheeks and forehead.

“_____…” he mumbled.

You shook your head, unable to look at him as you quietly sobbed.

“I hate you, Seungmin,” you whispered.

His vision goes black.

When Seungmin passed out, you kneeled there until you could no longer feel the blood flowing below your knees and you sobbed. You were heartbroken, you were furious, you were absolutely terrified, and everything came crashing down like every other building in the center of the city tonight. But at least Seungmin (slash Spider-Man) was here with you, right where you needed him to be, so could you really be mad?

There was no way you were able to carry him to your bed or even the couch, so you did your best to make him comfortable as he laid on the floor. A few pillows and several soft blankets would do the trick. Afterwards, you headed to bed yourself, unable to deal with everything that happened today. Somehow, you’d deal with it in the morning.

But you couldn’t sleep. After tossing and turning and flipping through old memories shared with the boy practically dead on your floor outside, sleep would not have you, as if you were cursed until you dealt with your feelings head-on. What the fuck were you supposed to do, though!? He was unconscious, for God’s sake, he wouldn’t even hear anything you’d say! And it would make you seem weak, wouldn’t it? Caving into what your heart wanted and going to him… That would mean you’d forgive pretty much anything Seungmin was at fault for, and that was not going to be the case!

It was four in the morning when you decided that yes, you were a weak, weak person, but only for your best friend.

On your sixteenth birthday, Seungmin gifted you the stars. Literally - there was this lamp thing on Amazon that had a slow-spinning black dome with a bunch of holes in it that mimicked the stars above. When the lights turned off and the glow of the lamp was on, the entire room was filled with constellations and stardust and it was like he gave you the universe and everything that was beneath it. In retrospect, he’d always go above and beyond, not just with gifts, but with anything that involved you just to make you happy.

Maybe it was time for you to do the same. The least you could do was try to understand his side. You wouldn’t even let him explain earlier… You told him you hated him.

So in the midst of heartbreak, you brought the lantern, a pillow, and a blanket and laid beside him until he would wake again. As the stars twinkled and twirled like a mobile above a crib, you watched a sleepy Seungmin beside you breathe softly. You counted every eyelash, every breath per minute, and traced his silhouette.

Even when you should be mad at him, how could you be? The moment he wakes up, you'd forgive and forget about everything - you loved him too much to stay mad for so long.

Before you fell asleep next to him, you made sure to hold his hand so he wouldn't slip away.

Nine in the morning was when Seungmin woke up with enough strength to leave you alone. He awoke beside you, with his hand entwined with yours, and he thought to himself how there was no way he deserved you. You stayed with him the whole night, healing him, making sure he was ok, and even after his identity was revealed - even after you told him you hated him - you stayed by his side on the uncomfortable hardness of the floor.

You hated him. Even with you by his side and your hand in his, he lied to you and kept his identity a secret and you hated him for it.

Seungmin tried to get up, but his side stung too much. Looking at his gash, his blood had soaked through the gauze and he knew he needed Woojin's money to help him with this one.

Your best friend pressed one last kiss to your forehead before leaving.

"I love you," he whispered. Then he hopped out the balcony and journeyed to Woojin.

When you woke up alone and with Seungmin nowhere in sight, you panicked. You called his cell phone, left text messages, called Woojin's cell phone, called all of 3RACHA's cell phones, anyone who you suspected to be a part of this super secret Spider-Man Team of Friendship, but no one would answer or knew where he was.

First he hid a whole alternate persona from you, even after you grew a connection with him, and then he injuries himself and then he falls off the face of the Earth!? How was that fair to you!? After everything you do for him!?

You needed answers. You needed him to be safe, with you, and to answer every question you had. He owed you that much.

Desperate times called for desperate measures, so went live on the radio straight from home.

Seungmin slept on Woojin's couch for hours after he arrived. He was drugged with some weird shit Woojin's brother concocted, patched and stitched up by said brother, and was instructed to stay bed ridden until the drugs took on its full effect. Something was working because his side felt numb and wasn't bleeding out anymore.

As he waited for the medicine to work, he passed the time by reading and listening to all the messages you left him.

you [9:23 am]: hey, are you awake?

you [9:38 am]: please answer me…

"Seungmin? Where are you? Please call me back."

you [10:56 am]: seungmin please

you [11:21 am]: i'm not mad, i promise!! i don't hate you!!

you [12:03 pm]: you're so mean.

you [12:52 pm]: i'm sorry.

He'll never be able to face you again. Not for a very long time.

'Moonlight Radio is now live!' his phone screen read.

Today was Sunday. "What the…?"

Even when the city barely started to recuperate from mass destruction, a good chunk of your regular listeners still tuned in to Moonlight Radio.

"Hey, guys!" you greeted cheerfully. "It's me, _____, going solo at the mic today. How are you all doing this Sunday afternoon? I hope you're all safe and sound, resting from last night's chaos. Team Moonlight is just fine, so no need to worry about us.

"Now I know, it's not 8:00 pm Wednesday, but I have a really good reason for this surprise short broadcast. I… I need your help."

There's a long pause on your end. How were you going to word this?

"So there's this guy, right? There's always a guy, that's how stories like this start. He's a really close friend of mine and I've been battling with some weird feelings for a very long time. You guys know how it goes, right? You think you like them, you're in denial, things get kind of awkward, then you're avoiding each other, and now your friendship is ruined, all because you're avoiding these… these stupid feelings! And you haven't even told him yet!"

Seungmin heard you sniffle through his phone. You were crying. All because of him.

"So I need your guys' help," you cried out. "I hate feeling this way. What should I do…?"

On your laptop, tons of answers flowed in through the group chat and inbox on what you should do. There were only two answers, and one of them was a question.

"You guys are so funny," you said, genuinely happy that your listeners knew you so well. "The only options are variations of 'just tell him!' and 'is this about Seungmin?'"

The tired boy's heart felt like it was aching when you said his name, but why was he so happy?

"You guys are right - I should tell Seungmin I love him. Seungmin…" you paused, choked up on the tears that were ready to fall. This wasn’t going to be easy. "If you're listening, please answer my calls… I-I'm not mad at you! I just can't help but worry about you sometimes. You mean so much to me, and I don’t know what I’d do without you. So please, just let me know you’re out there and safe somewhere. I love you, ok? I love you."

Seungmin cried a little, too. His heart ached, his whole entire body, mind, and soul ached, but he was so, so happy.

"Ok! Enough sad sappy stuff! I'm going to eat tubs of ice cream and maybe cry a little until I hear a response. Stay tuned on Wednesday to find out the results of my undying confession to my co-host. Oh, also! While I have you all listening, could I ask you all for another favor? If you guys see Spider-Man today, could you drop the location in our inbox? I know I know, I used to be disgusted by that vermin, but now I'm kind of a huge fan. Spider-Man, if you're listening… I guess I like you, too. Have a good Sunday, everyone. This is _____ signing off."

Seungmin had to find you. He had to run to you, hold you in his arms, and kiss you until you were out of breath. But when he tried getting up from the bed, he couldn't.

"Hyung!” he called out. “Why can't I move!?"

"The sedative isn't going to wear off for a couple more hours," Woojin explained.

"Hours? No, I need it to wear off now!”

“Sorry dude, I can’t just reverse it like that.”

“Fuck!”

“Can’t you just call _____?”

“No, I have to see her in person. They deserve that much.”

Woojin ruffled his comrade’s bedhead adoringly. “Ah, young love.”

Seungmin was bed-ridden for another six hours until he was fine to move again and leave to do his ‘young love activities’, as Woojin put it. Throughout the entire six hours, he recited and played in his head all possible scripts and scenarios of what it’d be like when he saw you again, asking Woojin for some input on how likely each of them would happen.

“Scenario one is that they return my feelings and hug me ‘til I can’t breathe and maybe we kiss and live happily ever after as Spider-Man and _____.”

“Sounds fake, but ok.”

“... Scenario two is that they’re mad at me for a little while, the show goes on hiatus because it’s a little awkward, but in the end we’re together and live happily ever after as Spider-Man and _____…?

“What is with this happily ever after stuff? Do you really think it’ll be that easy?”

“No, but a man can dream.”

“Instead of dreaming about it and stressing yourself out, just wait until you actually do it. You always overthink things, it’s not good for you, dude.”

“I can’t help it ~!” the injured boy whined. “I’ve never had this problem before!”

“Neither have I, but I’m always right, so you should listen.”

Six and a half hours, a tub of ice cream, and half a box of tissues later, you were still alone in your apartment watching sappy romances to cry your eyes out to. After you ended your pop-up broadcasting, you waited by your phone hoping that the message got to Seungmin. It had to have, because there was always an alert whenever the show went live. Unless he didn’t have his phone, but that was unlikely - didn’t he need it for superhero-y Spidey things? The first hour of waiting was the worst because every time your phone rang with some notification, your heart would jump in your throat and it was hard to breathe, but it wasn’t him, it was always some listener congratulating you on your confession or that they haven’t seen Spider-Man all day. The following hours were just you wallowing in your sadness knowing that Seungmin probably wasn’t going to respond anytime soon.

A knock on your window sent the spoon in your hand flying. You clutched your startled and fragile glass heart when you saw Seungmin standing on your balcony in his torn-up suit without his mask on. Your long-time friend looked so tired - tired of hiding from you, from protecting the city, and from being a normal college kid. Your nurturing instincts silently scolded him and wished he’d just gone home to rest instead, but truthfully, you’d much rather have him here with you.

You ran to your balcony door, opened it, and jumped right into his arms.

Seungmin didn’t say anything about how you were squeezing his stitches or how he wished you weren’t crying because of him. He simply held you in his arms and stroked your hair while you buried your head in his shoulder. Your body shook as you sobbed and it damaged Seungmin’s heart to an extent he couldn’t describe, but he hoped the kisses he planted on the side of your head healed you even just a little.

After an immeasurable amount of time, you broke away, and hit his chest.

“Ow, hey! What was that for!?”

“That was for crashing into me when we first met. If I could hit you for everything that’s happened to us over the past few months, you would need more stitches.”

“... I guess I deserve that…”

“Why are you here? You should be at home resting, not flying around dressed up in this cursed suit. What if another threat pops up!? And why do you have your mask off, what if somebody saw you!? And -!!”

“Shh,” the grinning boy hushed, pulling you back in for another hug. You should be pushing him away and scolding him some more, but your body failed you and you wrapped your arms around him once more. “I am home. You’re my home.”

“Don’t pull that cheesy shit with me, Kim Seungmin, I’m not buying it.”

“I know. I’m so, so sorry.”

“You better be!”

“Do you still hate me?”

“Kind of, you ass.”

“Do you still love me?”

Your cheeks burned. “... You heard me on-air, huh?”

“I love you, too ~” he sang, showering you in little kisses.

“Ew, stop it!”

“Ha ha, you love your best friend ~”

“Shut up!”

“You love spiders ~”

“No, I don’t!”

“C’mon, kiss me. Kiss your favorite spider.”

“Kim Seungmin, you’re so gross!”

You kissed him anyways. Then, for the entire night, you both sat on your couch and made him apologize for every single thing he’s done to you as Spider-Man, from spilling your french fries (“But I bought you some the same night!” “That was Seungmin, not Spider-Man.”) to flirting with you, and to when he left without waking you up. You forgave every single incident by kissing him and Seungmin tried to think up a hundred little things to apologize for.

“I’m sorry that you fell for me twice,” he teased.

“What kind of apology is that!? And I didn’t fall for you twice!”

“Admit it, you started to really like Spider-Man.”

“No.”

“You’re so cute when you’re in denial.”

“I hate you.”

He held your face in his hands and pulled you in for another soft kiss. “I love you, too.”

#kim seungmin #seungmin #stray kids #skz #skz seungmin #stray kids seungmin #skz scenarios #stray kids scenarios #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #spiderman au #superhero au #radio dj au #SIGH OK #i know it's very long... #and i know it's two aus that i've already overused and done before #but.... #this has to be my favorite fic i've ever written #i really had so much fun writing this #i hope you all like it #it's not really edited LOL SO... SORRY

[purplesurveys]

713

Have you ever read the Hunger Games series? Nah, that was put out when I started to not read anymore. I did see the first movie though since it was always being aired on TV. When was the last time you ran into something? Haven’t been doing a lot of running these days being stuck at home... but uh probably my dog? He’s always scattered in the most random spaces around the house, it’s so easy to literally stumble upon him. Do you enjoy dressing up? I don’t get to do it a lot but yeah sure. Do you live in the city or a rural area? I live in an urban area. Rizal is technically a province but it has some urban, more city-like parts – I live in one of them. The way provinces are in the country is generally nice for staycations but I can’t see myself living in them for good; there’s hardly any phone signal, they have none of the stuff I’m used to having in the city like malls and coffee shops, and there’s much less coverage for internet connection. Would you say you have a sense of style? Pretty much. I think it’s distinguishable enough that people can pick clothes they think I’d like off a rack.

What's your biggest fear? Cockroaches, failing, being publicly humiliated. Have you ever been bitten by a wild animal? Nope. Add that into one of my biggest fears. Are you close to any of your cousins? I’m closest to my Kuya, the eldest cousin on my mom’s side. I used to be close with my cousins on my dad’s side but since we’ve always lived far from each other we ended up getting awkward when we were teenagers and we haven’t moved past from that ever since. All my other cousins are too young for me to be close to. Have you ever been lost in the woods? Nope. Where did you last travel? I think my last out-of-town trip was when I went to Nasugbu with my friends as a last hurrah before the semester started last August. Do you enjoy driving? I would enjoy it more if traffic wasn’t so congested all the time, but generally I prefer knowing how to drive than not at all. I find it really convenient and I like being able to move at my own time, at my own pace. What song did you last listen to? Hahahaha don’t even be surprised anymore – it’s lofi city up in here, dude. If you have a job, how often do you work? What time do you normally go to sleep at night? These days, very late; my body clock has been beaten up bad (by me, lmao) in the last month. I’d normally turn in from 2-4 AM. Do you watch a lot of movies? I used to. Watching new movies was all I ever did circa 2014-2016, but life got a bit more hectic and my time for watching movies waned until I was never able to get back to my old routine and I just stopped watching altogether. These days I’m only able to watch new films if Gab asks me to tag along with her, like what happened with Midsommar, Knives Out, and Portrait of a Lady on Fire. Do you like Tom Petty? I only know him by name. I don’t have an opinion. Would you rather have snow or rain? I mean I’m just stuck with one of the choices anyway, so rain it is. Do you own a lot of sweaters? Nah I own zero. The only one I have belongs to my girlfriend. Have you ever tried rock-climbing? I’ve tried mini rock-climbing walls, but nothing too high or that required me to put on a helmet and harness. Ever ridden in a police car? Nope. Favorite decade of music? Idk I’ll have to go with the most recent one, 2010s. It was a period when I got old enough to 1) connect with the music coming out and 2) discern what to me sounds good and what doesn’t, and it was also a time where I got to establish what my general music tastes are. The 2000s to me mostly offers nostalgia but nothing outstanding, and I feel too detached from the other past decades for them to be my favorite. Have any of your best friends been your best friend longer than a year? I’ve had best friends I’ve kept for 15 years and 8 years. Ever witnessed a murder? No, but I came so close. One of our first news assignments was to cover a crime story, so on the first night a friend and I spent the night over at a local police station to wait for leads. There wasn’t any and on the second night, another pair of groupmates were tasked to wait at the same station to wait for reports – they were the pair that got a tip and they got to see a fresh crime scene :( which I know should be nothing to be envious of sksksk but still. If I remember correctly it was a stabbing incident and someone did die from it. Do you care what people think of you? I try not to but some opinions that reach me will still get to me, especially on rougher days. Does your room have a ceiling fan? No, just a standing electric fan. Would you consider yourself poised? Eh, it’s not the first word I’d use to describe me. If I’m feeling antsy you’d know it, because I would show it. Have you ever tried blogging? I have tried blogging, as early as when I was 10. I mainly used Blogspot as a diary, but it didn’t last long because 10 year old me just couldn’t keep the blog up and running. I discovered Tumblr when I was 11 and since then it’s been my main website for if I wanna blog (or in this case, microblog) about my interests. Favorite television channel? I haven’t watched TV in a looooooooong while. Have you ever lied under oath? I’ve never had to be under oath. What are your religious views? None. Are you a romantic person? Yeah but mostly in secret; I don’t like being too public when it comes to being expressive. Like I’d swat my girlfriend’s face away if she tries to kiss me in public lmaooooo but when it’s just the two of us I’ve gotten her love language down to a T and I know exactly what to do to make her feel loved. When did you last change your bed sheets? A few weeks ago. My eye started getting irritated whenever I was anywhere near my bed, so I chalked it up to having sheets that needed to be changed. Would you consider yourself a flirt? That would be the literal last thing to describe me. At what age do you plan to be married? Somewhere between 27-29. Do you eat a lot of junk food? Meh not really these days. I’m old enough to start feeling how unhealthy they are whenever I eat them and they no longer feel filling to the stomach either. When did you last go on vacation? Half a year ago. We haven’t been able to go on vacations this year because of coronavirus obviously, so our last trips have been on my dad’s last break at home. Are you resilient? I’d like to think so. I’ve been through so much shit and of varying degrees all my life but I’m still stubbornly here. Have you ever failed a subject before? I’ve never failed an entire class but I’ve failed exams, mostly math-related ones. If so, what was the class? My first failed class was math in Grade 4 (which was when we started learning super super super basic algebra), then I failed a number of algebra exams in 1st year, and then advanced algebra and geometry, and I think even chemistry and calculus, as the years went on. Do you wear more bright or dull colors? I used to wear duller colors, but I’ve recently been so bored with how my wardrobe has been mostly black and white throughout my stay in college that I started to make an effort to buy more colorful stuff so I can look livelier. Do you know anyone who has attempted suicide? I know a number of people. What's your favorite quote? I don’t really have one but one of my favorite movie lines is “How you like them apples?” from Good Will Hunting, if that counts. Would you consider yourself mature? Sure. I like taking on a motherly role in all my friend groups. How many clocks are in your house? I only regularly encounter the one in our dining area but I dunno if any of the bedrooms have clocks as well. Do you play any sports? Table tennis. What is your biggest life regret? Eh I say this a lot but only because it’s my one big regret – I wish I didn’t have such a hard time adjusting and spend so much time wallowing in self-pity in my first year (and part of my second year) of college. I spent all my days crying in my car because I had nowhere to hang and no one to talk to, and I was feeling worse by the fact that everyone else seemed to settle in with ease. I wish I had just said ‘fuck it’ earlier and just joined orgs and talked to people. Now I don’t really get to say that my entire college experience had been one of a kind, because I was mostly only trying to keep myself alive for nearly the first half of it. Have you ever been injured in a car accident? Nah not injured, but I’ve been caught in a couple of accidents. If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be? I would love to be in a Tim Hortons right now, studying while having their coffee and one of their wraps. Have you ever had highlights in your hair? Never. I’m not allowed to, which is fine because I stopped wanting to dye my hair. Favorite fast food restaurant? KFC has the best fast food but not the best restaurant. I don’t think I enjoy eating at any of the fast food restaurants we have because they all smell like a bunch of people have come and gone in the place D: In what country were you born? Philippines. Born and raised. Are your eyes more than one color? Nope. Have you ever caught something on fire? No but I’ve seen someone else get something on fire – back in Grade 4, my science teacher was showing us how a Bunsen burner works and a classmate (and tbh the class troublemaker) named Kressel tipped it over while the teacher wasn’t looking. We were too young to know what to do about it – and we were also all panicking on the inside and none of us could move – so we just watched part of the table getting burned away. What would you consider your biggest flaw? I’m very sensitive and I take a lot of things personally. What do you think your best quality is? Kinda conneected to that. I can read people quite well and can tell when they’re feeling too sensitive, if a joke has gotten too far for them, or if they’re starting to feel uncomfortable in a group setting. Do you enjoy listening to others' problems? *Enjoy* might not be the right word for it – I don’t derive pleasure out of hearing the things making my friends stressed out. I do like being the person they turn to; I like knowing they trust me.

Do you keep any plants in your house? My parents do. Sometimes they’ll ask me to water them, but I don’t claim any of the plants as mine. What is your mother's occupation? She’s confidential secretary to one of the higher-ups in her workplace. Do any of your friends like your musical style? I’m not the first person they’d go to to ask for song recommendations. My taste is admittedly a bit blah and basic, so I don’t blame them haha. What are you most looking forward to? I wanna say this quarantine ending, but I know resuming life in the real world would also be making me anxious when the time comes. I guess I’m most excited for seeing Gabie again, because I haven’t seen March 7th. What was your favorite television show as a child? My first favorite show ever that I was also super attached to was Hi-5 with the original cast – this was for kindergarten days. When I got a bit older I loved Spongebob, then when I got even a bit older than that I started liking Drake and Josh, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, That’s So Raven, and Hannah Montana. My first favorite that didn’t come from a kids’ channel was probs Breaking Bad. Are you afraid of insects? Yeah, most of them. Are you cold-natured? Idk if this wants to ask me if I’m snobbish or if I get cold too quickly, but I’m gonna go right ahead and say I can be a bit of both. How old were you when you got your first pet? I was 5 or 6 when I got my first few goldfish. Our house back then was very crowded and wouldn’t have been conducive to pets that would walk around, plus I had never owned pets before, so my parents thought it would be best for me to start off with fish. Did you / do you enjoy high school? It was okay for the latter half. What would you say was your favorite age? 16, which also happened to be the start of the second half of high school. There wasn’t a single low point that year and I had great friends, great grades, and an overall great time in junior year. What annoys you most about social networking? Ehh there are different annoying things for each of the big social media sites. Twitter sucks for its cancel/public shaming culture; Facebook suffers from fake news and troll armies, and conservative relatives are often there to gossip about your posts or your stances (at least for us Asians, idk if family in other cultures can be just as nosey); and Instagram is just unbelievably fake to me that I’ve never even tried joining there to socialize.

Are you the center of attention most of the time? No. Whenever I feel like I am I always shift the spotlight to someone else. What are you currently reading? I’m not reading anything at the moment. When did you last go to the library? At the start of the year, when I had to borrow a book for my Rizal class. Are you ill at the moment? Nope, and remaining not ill would be the best situation for now given the current circumstances. Do people tease you about anything? My friends know I’m a little sensitive so they’re careful about making me the butt of their jokes for too long, but I do get teased for my lack of street smarts which I’m fine with because it’s true hahahahahaha. How late did you stay up last night and why? Not too late considering how late I stay up these days – just around midnight. My left eye acted up again, was tearing up like crazy, and I could barely open it without starting to feel pain so I just went ahead and got some sleep. Have you ever written poetry? Only when we had to in English classes or if we had to submit entries for my org’s literary folio. I’ve never voluntarily written poems. Curtains or shades? Shades. How many people have you spoken to in the last hour? Six, I think? - my dad, sister, cousin, Gab, Andrew, and Angela. Do you tend to text a lot? These days no because I haven’t had (and needed) cellphone load in the last month lmao. Normally though I do. Ever lost a great best friend? Yeah. Sofie and I drifted apart when we started college and the time apart made me realize that we simply had two entirely different personalities and there was no way we would have kept up the friendship considering how far we would be from each other once college started. But it was a nice couple of years that we had being best friends and I don’t regret the antics we got into together. What is your favorite kind of flower? Peonieeeeees my god his question is everywhere. Do you own any guns? No, and I can tell you people where I’m from generally find America’s gun fixation really weird. What would you say is your favorite book of all-time? I think it’d be unfair to tag something as all-time favorite when I haven’t read enough books... but I remember really enjoying Without Seeing the Dawn by Stevan Javellana. Never mind the fact that it was required reading for school; I genuinely loved the whole book and ate it up pretty quickly.   Do you think you're living a good life? I guess, but I’d much rather call it ‘fortunate.’ What's your least favorite part of the day? On a normal schedule that would be once my alarm hits and I know I have to get out of bed and anticipate the traffic I’ll be stuck in.

Are you an over-achiever? Not in the sense that I like joining competitions and winning every single one of them, but I like calling dibs on a lot of tasks no matter how booked I am, and even doing the tasks of others if I sense that they’re not moving. Have you ever won an award for a speech? I haven’t, but I’ve been in a public speaking competition. I let my anxiety get the best of me that day and I ended up rambling midway into my speech, so now thinking about it is something that makes me wince these days because I know I could have done a lot better. Do you tend to curse a lot? Not as much as when I was a teenager but I’ll still slip some shits and fucks in my sentences every now and then. Have you ever played on the Ouija board? No. And I think that if it does happen, as much as I love the concept of Ouija boards, I’ll be too scared to join the session haha. Do you sleepwalk? Nope. Have you ever slept on the floor before? I’ve never slept on the FLOOR floor. I’ve slept on floors but there was always a mattress to lie on to feel comfortable, ya feel. Are you a fan of public displays of affection? It’s easy not to mind simple acts like holding hands or forehead kisses, but it can get uncomfortable if a couple is clearly in the moment and is like literally making out on the escalator or talking like babies to one another but loud enough for others to hear. Either way though I wouldn’t call myself an active fan. When did you last attend a yard sale? Idk dude, 12 years ago I’d say. Do you wish your life were simpler or more interesting? More interesting. What goals do you wish to accomplish tomorrow? None. I just want to care for myself these days dude. And remind myself that it’s okay to not feel like being productive. When is your birthday? Exactly a week from now – April 21st. Which is worse: going blind or deaf? Blind for me. There’s a lot of stuff and places I have yet to see and new experiences that I wanna be able to digest by seeing them, like getting to the top of a mountain or seeing my future kid.   What was the best part of today? Eh, today’s been uneventful at best. Do you attempt to stay away from drama? I don’t want to be the subject of drama but if there’s drama involving other people and my friends got a hold of it, I would honestly find it hard to ignore it. What liquid did you last drink? Water. Do you ever prefer to be alone? I have moods where I’d want to be alone, but it doesn’t happen all the time. I still like being around people because it keeps me from being alone with my thoughts. Have you ever had a deadly animal as a pet? No. Favorite Disney movie? Toy Story. Tangled comes at a verrrrrrrrrry close second. Have you ever been to the beach? Yes. I think since 2009 we’ve been going to the beach at least once a year. If you have, how many times have you been? ^ Considering that estimation I’ve been to the beach a minimum 11 times, but it’s definitely a lot more than that since there’ve been times where we went to beaches multiple times in a single year. What was your dream occupation at age ten? I wanted to be an author then. Are you terrified at the idea of weight-gain? No. I’m a little underweight so I'm okay with welcoming a few extra pounds. Do you drink a lot of water? I don’t take eight glasses a day but I still drink relatively more than my friends and relatives do, who seem to like iced tea and soda more. Does your room have carpet or hard-wood floors? Hardwood, as with most (maybe even all) Filipino houses. Do you take naps daily? No, not daily. I probably take 3-4 afternoon naps every week.

Who were you named after? My parents say I was named after the Swedish singer Robyn, but they also tell me a conflicting story in that they just liked how the name sounds and went with it. Do you plan on traveling this spring or summer? In the current state of the world? No can do chief. I wanna be able to travel once this shitstorm is over though. Do you know anyone who is colorblind? I don’t think so. Have you ever been a teacher's pet? For some classes, but they’ve been very few and far between. I don’t consciously make myself the teacher’s pet in all my classes. What is your absolute favorite hobby? Eating out/trying new food! How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Once or twice. Ever been to a tanning bed before? I have not. I don’t need to. Are you satisfied with your financial stability? I don’t even have finances sksksksksksksks Who is your favorite actor / actress? Kate Winslet. Are your nails painted? Nope. What's the meanest thing you've ever said to someone? I make it a point not to say mean things to anyone because words stick. I learned that from a young age which, aside from how fucked up that is, is still a good thing, because it taught me early on to be careful with my anger. Do you ever accidentally talk to inanimate objects? I don’t do it accidentally lmao I just apologize to most of the objects I bump into. What's your favorite flavor of ice cream? Cookies and cream. Have you ever kissed someone of the same gender? Regularly. Do you receive any hate mail? No but that’s because I actively avoid having outlets for that. Anonymous hate would only make me paranoid and will probs drive me madly insecure in the wrong run. Have you ever sent a letter in the mail? Nope. If you could, would you have a pen pal? Meh, I’ll pass. I find instant messaging a lot more convenient and I doubt I’d have the patience for keeping a pen pal. What color are the pants you're wearing? I have brown shorts, not pants. Have you ever had a stalker? Nope. What is your life philosophy? You don’t have to be blood to be family. Who last sent you a goodnight text message? Gabie. Do you own any clothes that are your favorite color? Very few, because pink actually doesn’t suit me. Have you ever been in a hot tub before? Sure. What's your favorite comedy movie? White Chicks. In which year were you born? 1998.

#survey #surveys

[umbillicalnoose]

i think that you would think im pretty and would like my poetry and i want to share it with you. im shy.

to be honest, im very apathetic these days. im not the nice “cutesy baby flower petal boy” i used to be. a lot has happened & im bitter & sullen & all in all, a pretty shitty friend/person to know. i used to possess some redeeming qualities, believe it or not, even if they were construed by the subconscious in an attempt to be likeable - a facade, even tho its only a facade, is still tangible, still there, is still something, even if not authentic. is poorer character forgivable in the name of presenting more authentically? but nah. that makes it sound like im putting effort into being a better person, which im not. im just sort of fried & done. its been a very long time since i played the role i built for myself on here of the “small fawn boy who wants to help girls” lmaooo. how embarrassing. altho, i was just a kid, & i guess, if you had a tumblr as a teenager, you went thru some cringe (i know the use of that word has fallen in on itself & adopted its own definition but for lack of a better one) ass phases, whether it was kinning or malingering mental illness or oh fucking christ, all that gender bullshit, etc etc. from what ive observed, tho, loosely following kids im still casually friends with that i met on here, i think we’ve all managed to Grow The Fuck Up, at least a little. most of us have jobs or r in school or have partners - growing up & moving on is a very surreal experience to watch/go thru. im moving at my own pace & ive accepted that - im still currently using & starving myself & concocting a suicide plan every day but at least i use clean needles as much as possible, i actively & honestly do strive for the bare minimum calorically, & um able to work with the mentality of “well ill have this when i need it but todays not that day” a lot more readily, in relation to suicide shit. ive finally found a therapist who Really Gets It, is a frontrunner internationally on ritual & extreme abuse & mind control. its pretty incredible what a few years with a good therapist can do. anyways. im sorry, i know you didnt ask for all this & im not even sure why i divulged. i guess, what tipped me off, was your attempt at sounsing “cute” - dude, cut that shit out, i promise youll be a lot better off. & i know everyone interchanges aspects of their personality based on who theyre talking to/who they percieve themselves to be talking to, but i feel like not a lot of people give enough credence to the internet & its hand in shaping/molding young people, kids, vulnerable dumbasses, especially tumblr (tho, i get that its a relatively new phenomenon) - u get a bunch of the “weird”, “alternative”, ““ostracized” kids together on a website, of course its gonna nurture a culture of hypervalidatoon & pretending to be sick in order to fit in to the point that its not an act anymore & exacerbation of symptoms & basically, just sucking each others dicks, sitting in ur own shit, & never ending coddling. & then, you have the older group of kids, who have played this game before but instead of helping or ignoring the Dumbshit kids, they indulge their own normally-buried-but-unleashed-by-internet-anonymity sadism/human instinct to just be fucking dicks & so now you have this vicious cycle of anger & hatred & fucking melodrama up the urethra. im sorry, i know im comig off as/am being harsh but god fuckin dammit yknow? also, this isnt directed at you, specifically, more of a generalized thing, @ myself included. so uh. i mean, if u still wanna share it with me after reading all this, id be happy to read ur poetry. i used to be over the top nice & then reverted to Major Asshole & am now trying to find that sweet middle spot - honoring & allowing myself to share my pain without putting it on others. which is really hard!! cuz becoming a Dick was difficult in that it forced me to be more honest with my true self & as such, more vulnerable - now in trying to become Kinda Nice again because despite being a pulsating scrotom, ive had the intense desire for friendship & human interaction, while simultaneously doing things that i was consciously aware was pushing others away - but then, if i pretend to be nice, where does that authenticity i worked for & was so scared of go? & i dont mean telling someone their new haircut looks nice even when it doesnt - thats just not being a dick. but i guess, those r the normal trials & tribulations of any relationship & adolescent developing identity. which is weird too - dealing with “normal” issues, i mean. whats the point if your life/limbs/breaking point arent at risk? whats the point when your best friends already dead. im sick of people calling "survivors” (despise that word, so fucking female-originated & overdramatic) “brave” & “strong” - surviving is not brave or strong. its just survival. you wouldnt call an animal brave for running for its life from a predator but you would call a dog courageous for going into a burning building to save its owner. premeditated action on the notion that you are probably going to be hurt is brave. being subjected to pain with no choice is not. theres no “silver lining” or anything “good” to be drawn from it either - sure it may have made x a more compassionate person or made y more introspective & gentle but you know what would have been even fucking better??? if the shit hadnt happened in the first place! let x be an asshole & y be self absorbed - the “benefits”, so to speak, do not outweigh the cost, not by a long fucking shot. its not only patronizing to hear garbage like that, but a slap in the face to know that anyone could possibly see anything good coming from that nightmare & that the characteristics, good or bad, you developed either in response to or as a result of, are worth praise. dont tell me im strong for doing what i had to to escape a torture chamber - tell me im perseverant for studying my ass off & passing that test last week. in the words of one of my dearest & most fucking brilliant friends, “pain doesnt owe me/you purpose - the need to intellectualize & assign meaning to pain & death is not only futile, but harmful.” & honestly, i think that it stems from weakness (in most cases - i realize theres a plethora of other reasons such as those who r just desperate for something to hold on to or r hyperintellectual & analytical or who have been pressured by external “support” systems to find the “good” etc etc) - while the majority of people view the person who “can find the good in everything” (strictly speaking only in relation to trauma/tragedy here & more in denunciation of those that celebrate this trait as opposed to vilifying “survivors” who respond this way, though in my experience, its very very very rarely the “survivor” that perpetrates this ideology ) as strong, i sort of see it as a weakness - their inability to sit with & absorb their own pain or that of others is so strong that not only do they have to frantically pull rainbows out of the teeth of a meat cleaver, they also have to exist within this strange (tho, not malicious - more subconscious) superiority complex. like, nah, dude, some times shit is just awful. you cant tell me anything fucking good came out of a four year old girl being kidnapped, gangraped, & tortured for two years, before being impaled & left to die on a stake. her mom opened a non profit organization? oh well thank fucking god for that!!! those that believe the latter to be more “enlightened” or whatever the fuck r the same people who say shit like “dying is easy - living is harder” & i get that that its supposed to be interpreted metaphorically for the most part - giving up is easy, trying isnt (which also.....isnt true??? admitting defeat & fully accepting the fact that ur fucking helpless is beyond hard lmao???) - but pretend youre somewhere, anywhere outside ur sunny little fucking yoga studio full of white women whos biggest issues r the pta & johnny whos failing math, & lets say your life is in real, imminent danger, a gun is to your head & i want you to not scream or cry or beg for ur life since dying is “easier”. if dying is so easy, why do the majority of ppl cling to it with such desperation - why is suicide illegal? why do some ppl go thru 100s of chemo treatments even tho the doctors say theyre just prolonging the inevitable, ppl who cut off a diseased arm so it wont spread, those who walk dozens of miles every day for food & water, etc? & i know & understand the survival instinct better than anyone, even when i wanted to die more than anything, my natural instincts would kick in with no conscious neural input & id do what i had to do. im not condemning those who cling to life (ok - a little. ur wasting resources out of ur own fear. but i also realize thats just me being a Fucking Asshole As Always cuz technically, im doing the same thing tho its more due to lack of opportunity rather than fear. i just think, societally, death should be more normalized, discussed, & not made out to be so unknown & scary), instead just reprimanding those who say shit like that (inspirational facebook quotes). especially cuz most of the ppl who do spew that shit have never gone thru anything even remotely difficult - their worst nightmare is a Big Scary Black Man grabbing them on the street, mugging them, & touching their tits. & i also know that these stupid ass sayings are to be applied to bullshit like exercise & fitness (“no pain no gain” is another one of my Favorites) & not fucking torture or even just ur run of the mill rape, even that would probably smash the rose tinted banana republic shades off their beverly hills tanned faces. but ive heard the no pain no gain one a handful of times in the last few weeks, specifically from doctors performing procedures in preparation for my bottom surgery. & i know its supposed to be encouraging & they have no way of knowing, but its just like, buddy, u have no idea who youre fucking talking to. & im starting to understand what THEY mean when they say it - pain with a reward is infinitely more tolerable than pain just for the sake of pain; like, a tattoo, it hurts, but u know, when its done, its gonna be sick as fuck. when u r able to fall back on the idea that its for something u rlly want, its A Lot easier to handle as opposed to pain thats Just Pain - theres no reward for it except, i guess, that the more u experience it, the closer u r to the end of it lmao. i mean, i still hate when ppl say it cuz for most of my life, pain was just pain, & the “reward” was the opportunity to go home at the end & so whenever ppl say that, my mind just immediately resorts back to that & im just like haha fuck u. but im trying to remember my experiences r definitely not universal & im starting to sorta understand what they mean i think. but, flipping gears here, & going back to the sentiment of “everything happens for a reason”, the base philosophy of psuedo deep Fuckwads - a girls dad didnt fuck her “for a reason”, everything doesnt happen “for a reason”. like ok, hypothetically, the kid he impregnated her with & that she was forced to have at 12 may surpass all odds & not become a homeless junkie & instead become a world renowned doctor who finds the cure for cancer. but she wasnt raped repeatedly from the age of six for that “reason”, no matter what anyone says & honestly, the liberation of the masses does not justify the suffering of one, especially a child. in my eyes at least. but again, im a bitter asshole. sorry i just Went The Fuck Off here oh my god.....if u read all this, thanks, pal. if not, thats cool too. but yea, send me ur stuff, id totally be down to read it. as for me potentially thinking ur cute, i have to look at my disgusting shitstain of a “face” every goddamn day so everyone else to me is fuckin aphrodite. but im also tryin to not put so much worth into physical appearance- its not something that should be complimented cuz its just smth a person was born with which is the same reason it shouldnt be insulted. this is gonna sound gay & stupid but i personally find that a persons essence & personality really permeates. you can meet someone who, objectively, isnt all that great looking, but once u get to know them, u really see their beauty - how the sun catches in their hair, their dilated pupils looking up at u from under long eyelashes in the dark, the birthmark on their right shoulder that they despise but that is so Them, the gap in their teeth, etc. & idk how to phrase this without it sounding like “well ur ugly but at least ur a good person”, cuz that only reiterates the societally indoctrinated emphasis on appearance & my kneejerk reaction to assure the person in question that thats not what im saying is only another result of that!!! its inescapable!!! but no, really, its not just a matter of “its on the inside that counts” - physically, they change or maybe, actually this is more likely, when i first meet them, my “default” eyes r just looking for features that i know im immediately attracted to (tall, blonde, sickly as in sunken eyes sticklike pale but still looks like she could & will beat the shit out of me) but as i fall in love or get to know them better, my eyes adjust & i notice & adore the beauty that was there all along. so uh. idk if ill think ur “cute”. but probably, yes, ill think ur an angel.

[ohducknewton]

“What do you mean we’ve lost contact with Agent Stern?”

As Director Johassen stares her down from across the desk with a glare almost too composed for comfort, Agent Raynal wishes more than ever that she didn’t have to be the bearer of this bad news.

Don’t shoot the messenger has always been more of a guideline to Director Johassen than a rule and she knows it.

“Well you see, Agent Stern is stationed in the National Radio Quiet Zone, so we can’t get a hold of him on his cellphone unless he leaves the area and calls us, which he hasn’t in a while. And we wanted to send letters but all we have on the place he’s staying at is that it’s called Amnesty Lodge. There’s no address, no website- We even tried calling to a forest service station out there to get the address and the Ranger we talked to informed us that he had never even heard of Amnesty Lodge.”

He had also said the word ‘fuck’ approximately nine times, but Agent Raynal decided she would leave that tidbit out from her report.

Director Johassen taps his fingers on his desk as he maintains eye contact, locked in a staring contest they both knew he would win. “Agent Stern once called up from the landline of the hotel,” he finally states. “Do we still have that number on file?”

“Yes, but uh, I wouldn’t recommend calling it, we think the number might’ve changed and-”

The tapping on the desk stops and Agent Raynal tries not wince. “Get me the number. I’ll call them myself.”

A few minutes of digging through files later, Director Johassen dials in the number and waits stony face as it rings out.

“Sup?”

“Yes this is Director Johassen, FBI. Is this Amnesty Lodge?”

The person on the other end goes silent for a moment before replying, “Nah, this is Jake,” and then promptly hangs up.

And as Director Johassen’s face goes beet red, the veins in his forehead bulging out, Agent Raynal really hopes that Stern has a damn good reason for going off the grid like this because if he’s just sitting in a hot tub drinking margaritas somewhere, she’s going to kill him herself.

As Stern soaks in the hot springs behind Amnesty Lodge, a glass of wine in hand with Barclay’s arm wrapped around his shoulder, keeping him pressed to his side as they chat, he can think of no place he would rather be.

“Hey uh dudes?” Both Barclay and Stern look over at Jake as he steps outside. “Yeah totally sorry to interrupt date night, but like the FBI called again.”

“Oh did they?” Stern takes a sip of his wine. “Who was it this time?”

“Some Director guy, Johassen I think.”

Stern takes a longer drink of wine. “They’re getting desperate if he’s calling. I should probably contact them and officially quit, hm?”

“Probably,” Barclay agrees with a light chuckle, waving goodbye to Jake as he heads back inside. “But that can wait til tomorrow.”

Moving his hand up from Stern’s shoulder to the nape of his neck, Barclay starts to gently run his fingers through Stern’s hair. Practically melting at the light touches, Stern lets out a content sigh and curls in closer to his boyfriend’s side.

“So, have you thought about what you’re going to say when you quit?”

Stern hums out a low note. “I found Bigfoot and therefore completed my mission?”

He just catches the way Barclay playfully rolls his eyes at that. “Very funny.”

“I realised I couldn’t keep working for UP with a good conscience?”

Barclay’s fingers go and trace over the sensitive shell of Stern’s ear, sending a shiver through him despite how hot the water is. “That might raise some questions, don’t you think?”

Pausing for a second, Stern smiles before saying,“Okay, how about I fell in love with an incredibly kind and caring and handsome chef and I want to spend as much time with him as possible?”

It’s Barclay’s turn to pause.

Then, Stern just has enough time to set down his glass before Barclay pulls him into his lap and kisses him, slow but with heat and the subtle taste of wine mixed in. When they do finally pull apart, Barclay gives him a smile, the corners of his eyes crinkling up in a way that Stern loves.

“We’ll workshop it.”

#taz amnesty #Agent Stern #taz Barclay #Sternclay #taz #fic #my stuff #ill be honest this started out solely as a way to get in the 'No this is Jake' joke #then i remembered im writing a slowburn Sternclay fic and I've been dying to write something where they're already together #also i needed something happy after yeterdays episode #Griffin why have you hurt us like this

[royalrampionengineer]

Never Trust Thorne’s Money-Making Schemes-- Cresswell and Kaider Fake Marriage AU

Hello! This short chapter of a fic was inspired from this post here. Summary: Cress wants some extra cash for a new computer, so she takes up the offer of her criminal crush Thorne to send out fake wedding invitations in the hopes that celebrities will reply with money. As you can imagine, there are many, many flaws in this plan, particularly when one of the celebrities RSVPs to the fake wedding. 

...

“How about babysitting?” Cress asked, tucked up onto a chair in her and Cinder’s office. “That has to be an easy way to make some extra cash, right?”

Cinder snorted, “There is nothing easy about babysitting, trust me. I grew up with two younger siblings. I know what I’m talking about.”

“Okay, okay,” Cress said, scrolling back on her tablet. “Lawn work? Freelance coding? Grocery store bagger?”

“Look, I’m all for you getting a second job Cress, but I know we’ve been swamped at our business here, what with you doing all the software and me the hardware, and you’ve barely found the time to sleep. How are you going to find the time to add more responsibility to that?”

“I know…but it would be so nice to have a little extra cash to buy a new computer with higher processing power. Too bad there’s no simple way to get the money without putting in extra time.”

“As I’ve said before,” Thorne looked up from where he was sprawled on the ground, placing wrenches on top of one another to see how high he could get them to stack. Despite both Cress and Cinder’s efforts to get their criminal-minded friend out of their workspace, he always seemed to appear and stick around. “I am happy to include you in schemes I have that will make you twice the money in a fourth of the time. And you won’t have to see any screaming toddlers.”

Cress sighed, “Thorne, we’re not becoming criminals. I like to obtain my money the legal way.”

“Boring.” Thorne placed another wrench onto his stack, making the whole thing tilt dangerously to the side. “But if you insist, I have some semi-legal ones. Just a bit of lying, no breaking the law or any consequences.”

“Really? Excuse me if I’m a bit skeptical, since the last time you said no consequences we ended up bailing you out of jail.”

“Trust me, this one’s right up your alley Cress. It’s all over the internet and you can set it up within ten minutes, tops. I call it: the marriage scam.”

“The what?” Cinder asked, eyebrow raised. “You and marriage? Very surprising, our self-proclaimed forever-the-most-eligible bachelor.”

Thorne waved, the tower wobbling dangerously. “No, no, there’s no actual marriage. Stars, could you imagine? That’s like, the worst scam ever. Nah, it’s just something my buddies and I used to run all the time in college. See, there’s all these rich celebrities in the world, and they get invites from fans to stuff all the time—prom, funerals, birthday parties, weddings, ect. Most just trash them, but every once in a while a generous rich soul’s assistant replies and sends a wad of cash in lieu of attendance. Since weddings are the most celebratory, they make the most money. So, you take advantage of this by drafting up a fake wedding invitation, sending it to a bunch of rich people, and cross your fingers that the cash starts rolling in. It’s not a sure thing, but it is a great way to get some spare cash to have on hand.”

Cinder rolled her eyes, “If you spent half the time doing homework and attending class that you spent drafting up get-rich-quick schemes, you would have actually graduated college, you know that, right?”

Thorne winked at her, “But where’s the fun in that?”

“Hold on,” Cress looked at Thorne, her brow creased. “Don’t you run the risk of the person actually saying they’ll attend the wedding?”

“Not really. Just put the wedding in some small town no one’s ever heard of, and no way the celebrity will be bothered.”

“Still seems shady.”

“Think of it this way Cress. Who’s better off with that money? Some rich dude who’s sitting on bags of it, or a co-owner of a computer business who will use the money to better serve her community?”

Cinder tilted her head to the side, “He may have a point Cress. You need money, and this isn’t really illegal.”

“Yesss,” Thorne hissed. “Join the dark side.” Both women sent him unimpressed stares.

“Okay,” Cress drawled. “But who am I going to marry? Don’t exactly have a line of people wanting to fake marry me.”

“I’ll do it,” Thorne shrugged. He placed another wrench on his tower, and the whole thing toppled.

Cress looked away from him immediately, color rising to her face. “Oh you don’t…you don’t have to do that. I was just joking.”

“I don’t mind.” Thorne started rebuilding his tower, carefully avoiding eye contact with Cress. “It was my idea, and it’s not like we’re actually getting married since that would be super crazy and ridiculous because we’re totally just friends.”

“Yeah,” Cinder looked between her two friends, eyes narrowed. “Ridiculous.”

Cress coughed, “Yup, all the friendly feelings for you here!” She turned her face away, wincing at what she knew was the awkward-est way she could have responded to the statement. Cress focused back on her tablet, refusing to acknowledge the fact that she felt Thorne’s stare on her, because that surely didn’t lead anywhere good.

“So, is the con on?” Thorne asked, and Cress was forced to meet his gaze. It immediately caused her to blush.

“Yes,” she coughed out. “Pulling up wedding invite templates online now.”

“Great,” Thorne grinned. “Make it look real official, and don’t forget to make a fake wedding website in case they do a cursory google search. How about we set our fake wedding date about two months from now? Oh, and make sure to include a little sentence about how much you love the celebrity and wish they could be at the wedding.”

“Perfect,” Cress nodded, barely able to look at her fake fiancé without thinking things that were definitely not in the realm of friendly. But really, how could she when he was grinning at her like that with those dimples?

“This is going to be a disaster,” Cinder muttered, already feeling the headache coming on.

…

Kai was sitting by the koi ponds.

Alone. As always.

A side effect of growing up as an only child in a mansion, he supposed, and spending his adult life in boardroom meetings with people twice his age. Being an executive in the billion-dollar tech conglomerate family company really didn’t leave time for making friends, much less finding a girlfriend.

He was startled out of his thoughts by his phone ringing.

“Hello?”

“Good afternoon Kai,” his assistant answered. “I couldn’t seem to find you in the office, so I thought I’d call as requested to give you your daily email updates.”

“Yes, of course. Anything important?”

“Meeting request with a new potential supplier, golf invitation from one of our sponsors, a wedding invitation, and the usual board meeting updates.”

“A wedding invitation? I don’t know anyone getting married.”

“It seems to be a tech repair shop co-owner getting married who is a huge fan of what you’ve done with the family company. Thought they’d invite you on the off chance their idol could make it.”

Kai thought for a moment, staring at the koi pond. “Would they happen to me around my age?”

There was a pause, and he heard some typing. “According to their wedding page, they are very close to your age. What would you like me to do? Ignore it? Send them a monetary gift?”

Well, when life gives you wedding invitations…

“RSVP for me. And clear my schedule the week of the wedding.”

There was a long pause, enough that Kai started to wonder if he had gone truly crazy.

“Yes, of course.”

“Thank you,” Kai replied, hanging up the phone and smiling.

While unconventional, Kai couldn’t help but be excited at the prospect of meeting fans and perhaps gaining some friends who didn’t have grey hair.

...

So thanks for reading! I don’t have any plans to write more of this, but I just had this idea and a burst of inspiration and couldn’t help myself. But please, if you liked it, feel free to continue the story! Just reblog this post with your next chapter, or tag me so I can read it! 

#the lunar chronicles #carswell thorne #cresswell #cress darnel #kai #linh cinder #Marissa Meyer #fanfiction #kaider #fake marriage au

[bossman-hazani]

Gangstars episode 1

Hey so this is my first time using this website. I’m moderately new to it but I thought that this might be a good place to post the scripts for an animated comedy series I wish to one day start. I decided that since I have no idea on how and what the hell to do in order to get it noticed by a producer, I thought a good place to start was to post the scripts online and see if I could build a community on it and see what will come from it. I mean, worst case scenario is that literally nothing will happen and it’ll go completely unnoticed so here it is. Please feel free to give any feedback in whatever way is possible on this website lol. The first episode might be a little weak I’m not really sure what to expect from readers but please give it a chance to when I post the second episode before giving up on it. I guess the kind of humour it comes off from is more a Rick and Morty type of thing. And please can nobody be an ass with feedback? I’m still new to this and I don’t really appreciate it. This isn’t really a final product and I’ll probably change the script based on any feedback I get so please try to keep it constructive and helpful. Thanks and enjoy.

Gangstars Episode 1 script

(The camera shows a brick wall in an alleyway with a door. You can hear the muffled voices of the interviewer and his mother)

Interviewer: "!?"

(Door opens)

Mom: "DAMMIT BOY, IF MY SON'S GONNA SMOKE, HE'S GONNA DO IT IN HIS OWN DAMN HOUSE, NOT THE TRASHY APARTMENT HE BOUGHT HIS MOM CAUSE HE DOESN'T LOVE HER"

Interviewer: "alright, alright! I'm going!"

(Interviewer exits door, grabs a cigar, takes out his phone and starts talking to someone on the phone while leaning on a wall)

Interviewer: "Hey, Stu. Look, I need you to do me a favour. Dammit Stu are you drunk again!? Fine, whatever. Just go tell Cindy that I'm gonna be in the office to tomorrow morning - what do you mean what!? Why the fuck do I even pay you!? Dammit Stu! You'd better give results or you're fired! Oh so NOW you remember. Whatever. Now tell Cindy that I'm gonna be in my office in the morning and that she has to go get mike so I can meet him and promote his ass. Heh, yeah, he's gonna be making some big bucks now"

(Interviewer continues talking while smoking, and as this happens, a large arm (Fat Toni) with a burger starts creeping off side of screen and attempts to suffocate him.)

Interviewer: "WHA-!?"

(Interviewer punches Fat Toni in the stomach to which an immune sign appears, slowly rising. As time is running out, Interviewer grabs glass bottle and hits Fat Toni over the head with it.)

Fat Toni: "ah SHIT!"

(FT drops to floor directly onto interviewer's leg and a crack is audible)

Interviewer: "Fuuuck!!"

Fat Toni: "Help me up, guys!"

(Two more figures, Teef and Giuseppe run in to help FT up there is clear strain in doing the process.)

Teef: "Holy shit, Toni you’re so fucking heavy!!"

Giuseppe: (Makes strained sounds)

(Interviewer politely waits through this event)

(When Fat Toni is finally up, he takes a moment to catch his breath)

Fat Toni: "Ok, where were we??"

Interviewer: "Uhhhh I think you were about to proceed with kidnapping me?"

Fat Toni: Ooohhh yeeah... Well... Do you wanna go through with it or has the moment kinda passed?"

Interviewer: "Nah I think I can bring it back."

(Interviewer backs away, into a wall, unable to stand. The shadow of a LARGE man slowly, with help, makes their way up and looms over interviewer)

Interviewer: (In fear) "What are you?"

(Bag goes over interviewer's face and screen goes black)

Fat Toni: (As if talking to a sick child) "Wake up, this is a temporary kidnapping."

(From the perspective of the interviewer, you can see his eyes opening and closing slowly)

Fat Toni: "Wake uuuuppp"

(Interviewer still doesn't wake up)

Fat Toni: (Irritated) "Hey, cmon, wake up already."

Fat Toni: (yelling and at the same time slapping the interviewer) "Wake up!!"

(Interviewer is awake now and looks all around him. He can see a messy room and at the end of it stands a dark figure who is not visible due to a light shining into the interviewer's face)

Fat Toni: "Alright now, talk!!"

(An irritated muffle comes from the interviewer as he makes it clear that he cannot)

Fat Toni: "Oh, right. Sorry about that."

(From the figure comes a hand that reaches to the face of the interviewer and removes some duct tape)

Fat Toni: "Ok NOW talk."

Interviewer: "Somebody help me!!"

Fat Toni: "Naah I was just messing with you, you never had to talk. But what we ARE gonna do is we're give you something to make sure that you can't go to that interview tomorrow."

Interviewer: "huh? But-"

(Toni's hand goes over interviewer's face and the screen goes black for a few seconds.)

(The camera then goes to Mike. He's walking in a suit with a briefcase (office work starter pack) through the Jimmyasssteak building and his fellow employees pass by, engaging in conversation. It's clear that Mike is familiar and comfortable in his status and that EVERYONE knows and loves Mike.)

Employee 1: "Hey, Mike!! Pretty sure your gonna be promoted to CEO!! AND your gonna meet the boss! Even I haven't seen him"

Mike: "Yeah ikr! But it still hasn't been confirmed... Fingers crossed though!!"

Employee 2: "EY, MIKE!! YOU FUCKED MY WIFE!"

Mike: "Yeah I did"

Employee 2: (High fives mike) "Holy shit! That's really an achievement! I still haven't fucked her after 5 years together!! Anyway, have a good one, Mike!"

Mike: "Yeah, you too, Gary."

(Mike goes into a reception and starts waiting. After a sew seconds, a secretary comes up to mike)

Secretary: "Oh, hey Mike, the boss will see you now."

Mike: "Alrighty then, let's go."

(Mike and secretary start walking together through a corridor)

Mike: "So uh you know what the big guy's like? What I should say to him? What he looks like?"

Secretary: "I have no idea. I've never seen or heard him in person. Every day at 11 I escort everyone out of the building and security is turned off so he can enter his office. I guess you could say he likes his privacy."

Mike: "But then how did he tell you he wanted to see me?"

Secretary: "We communicate through ASCII. (but pronounced as ASCI)"

Mike: "So... the Advertising standards council of india??"

Secretary: "No it's with TWO 'I's."

Mike: "Ohh..."

(Camera slowly blacks out then slowly back into colour to show Mike and the Secretary reaching the end of a corridor. The secretary is a blubbering mess while mark is just confused and shocked)

Secretary: "And then I said "what, you don't like me that way?" and then you'll never guess what he said. Go on guess."

Mike: (slowly and confused) "How? This wasn't even a long corridor. It was only 30 seconds ago that we were talking about the boss. How did- Just- how!?"

Secretary: "HE SAID YESSSS!"

Mike: "Well I hate to have to leave you at the peak of the... The conversation but- uhh- we're at the boss so I kinda have to do my interview and all..."

Secretary: (clearly fine now) "Oh, ok!"

(Secretary goes to a computer and types in a legitimate ASCII message. In response, a message that's clearly not ASCII pops up)

Secretary: "Alright, I'm going to have to go while the boss opens the door. It's standard procedure. So bye Mike!"

(Secretary starts walking away. A door slowly opens. Mike goes through the door, looks around and sees Fat Toni, who is drawing a moustache on the Mona Lisa painting hung up on a wall)

Fat Toni: "OH, HEY! Mark, right? I- uh I wasn't expecting you!"

Mike: "But didn't you literally tell your secretary that you were ready for me through ASCII??"

Fat Toni: "Mike... How in the goatlord’s shitting anus am I supposed to contact my secretary through the advertising standards council of india!?"

Mike: "Oh no she says it's with two 'I's."

Fat Toni: "Aaaahh. Well that makes more sense. I thought she was playing a number game when she sent me all those ones and zeros

Fat Toni: "Mike... I don't like mike... Is it ok if I call you Donnie?"

Mike: "Please call me by my name, sir."

Fat Toni: "Then it's settled. Your now Donnie... Donnie Dwayne!"

Donnie: (small and powerless) "ok..."

Fat Toni: "So Donnie. I'm gonna ask you some questions and your gonna answer then a’ight?"

Donnie: "Sure, whatever."

Fat Toni: "What are your thoughts on crime??"

Donnie: "I've always hated crime. I don't want to establish myself in it in any way and it helps nobody in any way. Innocent people just get hurt."

(Fat Toni gives a disapproving 'hmm' and literally scribbles on his notepad)

Fat Toni: "Now for the second question; What's your weight and how much do you normally eat in a day?"

Donnie: "How does this have anything to do with my promotion?"

Fat Toni: "Trust me, it's very important."

Donnie: "Well I guess I'm more or less the average person for both of them."

Fat Toni: "So... 49,000 calories each day??"

Donnie: "what!? No! That's stupid!! It's like 2,000!"

Fat Toni: "TWO-THOUSAND!? WHAT KINDA SUPER FUCKIN DIET ARE YOU- *ahem* That's very, very low. I gotta say, Donnie, your not doing very well for yourself so far. But you can still make it back."

Donnie: "Ok, ok..."

Fat Toni: (Dark and slowly) "Now it's time for the third question..."

(features of Fat Toni's face are blackened and are very serious as he says this and Donnie is concerned)

Fat Toni: (All grim and dark features on Fat Toni's face quickly disappear as he says this) "Do you like burgers? I like burgers."

Donnie: "Oh- well I like a good burger. They're actually pretty good."

Fat Toni: "I should probably tell you the truth... You know the gangstars?"

Donnie: "Umm no..."

Fat Toni: "Oh c'mon you gadda know them... Ya know... Biggest gang in the worldiverse?? Startin' gang wars here and there? You've probably heard of the but don't remember"

Donnie: "Ohhhhh those guys are JOKES!"

Fat Toni: "Ah c’mon, they're not that bad..."

Donnie: "I mean, they were the first and only gang to ever have their heist thwarted by an old lady"

Fat Toni: "Well- uuhh- I'm pretty sure they felt bad for the grandma and they didn't wanna hurt her..."

Donnie: "Dude, she was 96 and they had guns. She was only armed with a walking stick."

Fat Toni: "Pretty sure she was a martial artist."

Donnie: "What kind of martial artist is called Masel?"

Fat Toni: "UM only the most powerful ones. You know how martial arts gotta be, you can’t have your enemy suspect it. Pfft what do you know. Listen. I'm not your boss. My name is Fat Toni. I'm here to recruit you on the behalf of the Gangstars."

Donnie: "No."

Fat Toni: "Look Donnie, The gangstars need you. We're at a very bad state and this is the final straw for us. We need you."

Donnie: "No."

Fat Toni: "In this job, you were about to be promoted to CEO of the company. Would you rather be a CEO of Jimmyasssteak and get about 15 million a year, as tempting as it is, I think our offer will still win you over. By joining the gangstars, you get to risk your life, for scraps from heists!" (shows a picture of two happy people) "See, in the picture, you can see two of our happy members, enjoying the rough territory of wars."

Donnie: "Who even ARE they??"

Fat Toni: (Looks at the picture) "Ah. That's Tim and John. They didn't make the old lady attack. Don't ask. And I haven't even gotten to the good part! If you choose to join the gangstars, you get a chicken! On the house! With deals like that, SOMEONE'S gonna be making it through the winter!"

Donnie: "Well, I was GONNA say "no.", but I think the chicken part really changed my mind to... No.

Fat Toni: (pulls out gun to Donnie's face) (Aggressively) "It sure is a good thing that you're so excited to join the gangstars. You start..." (Looks at watch) "now!"

Donnie: "Of course. This is just great."

Fat Toni: (Holds up handcuffs) "you're gonna need to wear these..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (Fat Toni and Donnie are walking on the pavement of a motorway. Occasionally, there's a car passing by. Most give an aggressive comment to them.)

Fat Toni: "Sorry we had to walk. We have a small unicycle back at the HQ... I totally forgot it though."

Donnie: "A unicycle? You can ride one?"

Fat Toni: "Yeah you should see us when we use it. We look like a fuckin' circus crew piled up on top of each other."

Donnie: "That's kinda st-"

(A car passes by, and says an aggressive comment."

Driver 1: "You fuckin' dumbass!!"

Fat Toni: "You too you piece a' shit!!"

Donnie: "What the fuck was that about?"

Fat Toni: "Well you're in the motorway. In these areas, it's home to some of the most aggressive drivers in the city. A word of advice, do NOT go through the motorway in a car. VERY few people ever see the end of the motorway. Don't worry about the comments though, asshole comments are like compliments here."

Donnie: "Oh. Well that's also stupid. What's the gangstars like??"

Fat Toni: "Oh they're great once you get to know them. But if you're gonna fit in, you're gonna wanna work on your gangstar voice. Try one now!!"

(Passing car)

Driver 2: "HEY!! I'm drivin' here!!"

Fat Toni: "yeah, I bet you are!!"

Donnie: "Well what do you want me to say??"

Fat Toni: "Ummm... say that the gangstars don't suck and that they're actually super cool."

Donnie: "Ok, that sounds like a fairly simple task." in gangstar voice) "The ganghhh-"

Fat Toni: "Go on, say it."

Donnie: (in gangstar voice) "The gagstars donn- donnut sss-" (out of gangstar voice) "nope. I can't do it. It's physically impossible They just suck that much."

Fat Toni: "Ok, imma let that pass, but don't say that any more. Look. We'll work on your gangstar voice later"

(Passing car)

Driver 3: "How's ur mom!?!?"

Donnie this time: "Much better than yours!!"

(Car stops in the distance for a moment and then starts reversing. Meanwhile, Fat Toni is in shock.)

Donnie: "Wait what's he doing?? Didn't I compliment him?"

Fat Toni: "Dammit Donnie!! YOU'RE OUTTA THE MOTORWAY ZONE!!"

(Camera shows the ground with half of donnie's front foot past a black and yellow tape on the ground)

Donnie: "Well how tf was I supposed to know that!?!?"

Fat Toni: "THERE'S A NEON ADHESIVE TAPE ON THE FLOOR AND ABOUT 50 SIGNS!! HOW COULD YA MISS IT!?"

Fat Toni: "Just let me handle this!"

(Fat Toni pulls out his gun and points it to the driver who is at this point already out of his car and is approaching them. Meanwhile, Donnie starts slowly making a getaway.)

Fat Toni: "Look sir, I'm sorry about this misunderstanding. My grandson over here."

Driver 3: "Idiot. You don't look anything like him. And the age gap is WAY too small for him to be your grandson."

Fat Toni: "Oh but he is my grandson. Tell 'I’m Donnie."

Donnie: "Huh? Oh- yeah, sure am."

Driver 3: "Well tell me something, then. Why is your grandson trying to run away?"

Fat Toni: "Are you serious?? That's like the oldest trick in the fuckin' book. Did you really think that was gonna work? Go on, Donnie, tell him how you're still here!"

Donnie: (slightly distant) "YEAH!! He's right!"

Fat Toni: "See what did I tell ya!?"

(Fat Toni looks back and sees Donnie running away)

Fat Toni: "SON OF A BITCH!! Uh... is that someone calling you a fucking dumb ass??"

Driver 3: "You're the fucking dumbass if you think I'm falling for that bu-"

(Fat Toni throws the gun in driver 3's face and starts running for donnie.)

Fat Toni: "Donnie? Donnie!! Don't worry. I think the guy's knocked out!! You can stop running now!"

Donnie: "You idiot! That's not why I'm running away! I need to go back to my LIFE! I can still get my promotion and forget all this EVER happened!!

Fat Toni: "But Donnie!! The chicken! It's still up for grabs!!"

Donnie: "You're fucking crazy!! Just leave!"

Fat Toni: "Slow down, Donnie, I'm fat!!"

(Donnie continues running while looking back at Toni who's stopped to catch his breath.)

Donnie: "hah haha AAHAHAHAH IT'S OVER! I'M FREE! OOP!

(Donnie runs into a tree and falls back onto the ground and goes unconscious. The camera shows Toni picking up Donnie and holding him over his shoulder and carries him off. The screen slowly fades.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Donnie wakes up in a small room on some hay, holding his head. The room looks old and floors and walls are made of wood. Donnie walks out of the room to another but this room looks normal and modern. Just regular but it's shit. In the room, Fat Toni stands alone in the room. He notices Donnie, starts walking towards him while talking.)

Fat Toni: "Hey Donnie, How did you enjoy our 17th century themed guest room?"

Donnie: "Well I feel like shit. I also smell like shit and I don't remember that before I hit my head."

Fat Toni: "Yeah... It's a pretty weird coincidence how the guest room does that to ya."

Fat Toni: "Listen Donnie, You're about to meet the other members of the gangstars. But, before you meet them and officially become a gangstar, you gadda sign this" (holds up a blank contract with only the signing area.) "so that if you bail, we can add shit in the blank and take you to court claiming shit you never agreed to! And if you don't officially join the gangstars, then we'll kill you. So... it's nothing important. You get it. Now sign it."

Donnie: "Welp. Doesn't look like I have that much choice... Uh... should i sign it as Donnie or should i use my actual name??"

Fat Toni: "Donnie will work just fine. I mean, I don't know how it not being your real name would affect how we can take you to court."

Donnie: "Oh I'm sure it doesn't. Real names are way overrated anyway"

(Donnie signs it as "Donnie")

Fat Toni: "Alright, this is the moment, as soon as you meet the rest of the gangstars, you'll officially be a gangstar. There's no going back from here."

Donnie: "Ummm I don't really need t-"

Fat Toni: (yelling upwards, cutting Donnie off) "GET YOUR ASSES DOWN HERE!!"

(Distant shuffling)

(the gangstars start walking in one by one)

Teef: (Talks in a shitty Italian accent) "What the fuck is it now?? If you've lost your cheeseburger again, we're NOT gonna help you this time"

Fat Toni: "Well actually I'll talk to you about that later buuut I called all your asses down here because I wanted to introduce the latest addition to the gangstars... Everyone meet Donnie!!"

Teef: "Oh, another one?? This is the fourth time this week. They keep dieing, dammit!"

Guiseppe: "Taglatelli!!"

Donnie: "Wait-- what's up with that guy, why did he just mention a delicious food that doesn't relate to context."

Fat Toni: "Ah, that, is guiseppe, he's got pure Italian blood, but we never really got to figuring out why exactly he doesn't talk proper Italian. His language is based mostly on Italian words that Americans know and love in their language likee... Ravioli, or pizza then there's also a sprinkle of random American words, but he CAN understand what you say. We came around to calling it retarded Italian. Oh yeah, he also makes a great ravioli."

Giuseppe: "Pizza ravioli Guiseppe (holds out hand) spaghetti"

Donnie: (shaking hand) "So is it like every word has a translation??"

Teef: "Nah it's really completely random. One ravioli could mean biscuits in one sentence but shit in another."

Fat Toni: "Yeah... Trust Teef's judgement when it comes to retarded Italian. He's the only one who understands retarded Italian."

Teef: "Welcome to the gangstars, if you need anything, just reach reach me, I probably got what you need."

Fat Toni: "Teef's our guy whenever we need something, if you need something done, just go to him!

Donnie: "yeah, sure, whatever, but why the fuck does he sound so weird??"

Fat Toni: "Well a couple years back his ass got into some deep shit and well... He knew some people who could fix it... let's just say long story short, according to the law he's related to guiseppe and is legally required to speak in a shitty Italian accent. It's a story for another time."

Guiseppe: "Spaghetti artichoke" (starts ruffling in pockets) "biscotti penne"

Teef: "Oh c'mon Guiseppe. You really gotta do that this time??"

Guiseppe: "broccoli."

Donnie: "Wait- What's happening?"

Teef: "He uh says you gotta do the ritual."

Donnie: "Oh for fucks sake what's it now?"

(Once guiseppe seems content with what he was searching for, he pulls out a live chicken and holds it in both hands and starts talking retarded Italian. What he's talking about isn't important.)

Guiseppe: "coffee ciabatta gelato..."

Donnie: "What the fuck!? Where the hell did he even fit that thing!?"

Fat Toni: "It doesn't matter, it's bad luck to question the ritual. It's a tradition that's been going through the gangstars for centuries now, your gonna have to accept the complimentary chicken."

Donnie: "What!? No! I'm not gonna accept this stupid chicken!"

(Guiseppe takes note of this and looks offended, but continues with the ritual.)

Teef: "You gotta take the complimentary chicken man. No excuses now, you're a gangstar."

Donnie: "What the hell even is this place!?"

(Guiseppe finishes speaking and goes down on one knee and holds the chicken above his head)

Donnie: "I'm not gonna take the chicken"

Teef: "You gotta take it man."

(Guiseppe starts to slowly push the chicken towards Donnie's face)

Fat Toni: "just take the damn chicken, just for a minute."

Donnie: "I can't, I'm allergic dammit!"

(Guiseppe slowly starts getting seriously pissed)

Teef: "Would you do it for a quarter?"

(Donnie shoots Teef an annoyed glance)

Teef: "He ain't buying, Toni."

Fat Toni: "Well raise!! We need him to take the chicken!"

Teef: "But I already offered a quarter!"

Fat Toni: "Whoa Teef, he's not worth our entire budget."

(Guiseppe slowly starts getting seriously pissed)

Fat Toni: "Donnie, I'm telling ya this as a warning, not advice; take the chicken."

Donnie: "Alright! I'll take the chicken!!"

(Donnie takes the chicken in a sudden movement, Guiseppe goes back to normal and walks out.)

Donnie: (throwing the chicken behind him followed by a squawk) "What a weird motherfucker..."

(Doogie walks through the door)

Teef: "Motherfucker..."

Doogie: "Reporting for business, boss!"

Fat Toni: "Ah come onn didn't I give you that calculus book!?"

Doogie: "That was a colouring book for kids."

Fat Toni: "And I did NOT think you'd finish it so damn fast"

Donnie: "Alright whose this dumbass?"

Doogie: "well my-"

Teef: "We'll do the talking, asshole."

Teef: "His name's Doogie; the smartass dumbass never really officially joined the gangstars, he just started coming here."

Fat Toni: "Physically, he's worse than useless, but he's a real smartass... Most of the time he's just annoying though. No matter what we do, we can't get rid of him.

Donnie: "Well why don't you just" (makes a slitting throat gesture)

Fat Toni: (excitedly) "Oh yeah, that reminds me, check this out"

(Fat Toni pulls a gun to Doogie's forehead between his glasses and shoots him without hesitation. When Doogie dies, he makes the most pathetic sound. Doogie's corpse slides a small distance so his head is under an object.)

Donnie: "What the hell did you just do!?You killed the weird kid!!"

Fat Toni: "What? you suggested that I kill him? Didn't he Teef?

Teef: "He did, and by laws of the gangstars, he'd be held responsible"

Donnie: "No! I was making a joke! I didn't want you to seriously kill him!!"

Doogie: (Weak and slowly) "Goooo..."

Donnie: "Wait- why did he just make a noise? What was that?"

Teef: "That. Is the reason why we could never get rid of him. I mean cmon did you really think we didn't try killing him? I mean just look at him."

(Doogie starts making a very slow rise)

Teef: "If you'll excuse me for a moment, I have something to get"

(Doogie starts talking while rising)

Doogie: "How many times do I have to tell you to not to do that guys? I know it's funny but it's annoying. You ruined my good glasses too..." (continues )

(Teef walks next to Doogie with a shovel and smashes him by the back of the head towards a wall. Doogie makes another one of his pathetic noises as he dies. His corpse slides towards a wall and and some sort of stacked tall object falls just right to cover his body from the viewpoint and from all characters in the area.)

Teef: "Welp, I think I took care of that."

Donnie: "So.... What!?"

Fat Toni: "To put it simply, it was by some really shitty fortune that the one useless pain in the ass is basically impossible to get rid of. We've never seem what happens when he's being reborn. The surrounding will just comically rearrange themselves through extremely unlikely processes to cover his corpse."

Teef: "The more you try to force seeing the regeneration process, the more destructive the events get so they'll force YOU not to see it. So uh try not to do that."

(Two semi-large guys walk into view next to Toni)

One of them: "Hey Toni. A word please"

Toni: "Oh, hey Donnie, meet these guys." (points to one of them) "This guy is Tommy de mato" (points to the other one) "and he's Danny 'D' Ruff."

Donnie: "Damn, those are some pretty stupid yet kinda catchy names."

Teef: "Yeaah... That was back when we were using the catchy name generator."

Fat Toni: "Ahh that was a good one... Anyway, they're mostly undercover or doing background work so you won't be seeing much of them."

(Fat Toni turns to Tommy and Danny and then back to the others)

Fat Toni: "Alright. I'll be back in a minute"

(Fat Toni walks a small distance with Tommy and Danny to talk.)

Fat Toni: "Alright so what's up guys?"

Danny 'D' Ruff: "We found a bank. This one's too easy."

Fat Toni: "How much they are we gonna get outta this heist??"

Tommy De Mato: "Well they don't got much money or gold or much of anything because they literally just opened but they got cookies; lots and lotsa cookies."

Fat Toni: (Stroking chin in deep thought) "How many cookies are we talking about here?"

Danny 'D' Ruff: "Get this; whenever you deposit or withdraw money from an account, they'll give out free cookies."

Fat Toni: "Holy shit that's a lot of cookies..."

Tommy De Mato: "Think about it man, this time in a few days, we'll be rolling in cookies beyond our wildest dreams and a small portion of money."

Fat Toni: "Dammit, we're doing it!!"

(Fat Toni rejoins the rest and Danny and Tommy leave.)

Donnie: "No the fuck I won't do it!"

Teef: (Offering a bloody bat to Donnie) "C'mon it's not that hard to just give him a whack to the head."

Doogie: "No, please don't. It hurts"

Donnie: "No!! It's psychotic!"

Fat Toni: "Don't worry, Teef. He's only finding it so difficult because he doesn't know him well enough."

Teef: (with a hint of hostility) "Just give it time."

Fat Toni: "Alright guys. We're gonna rob a bank."

Teef: "Sweeet. It's been way too long." (yells upwards) "HEY, GUISEPPE!! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE. WE'RE PULLING A HEIST!!"

Guiseppe: (muffled) "Taglatelli pastrami!? Fusili?"

Teef: "uhhh... Brocoli lasagna pizza"

Guiseppe: "Fusili!"

Teef: "He's in."

Donnie: "Yeeaah I don't know... Now we're breaking the law? This felt more like some creepy fanclub thing. I never really thought of doing illegal shit..."

Fat Toni: "Yea but that's only cause you don't know the stash we're gonna pull from this heist."

Donnie: "Fine. What is it??"

Fat Toni: "Cookies; lots 'n' lotsa cookies."

Donnie: "Yup... Just as incredibly stupid as I figured."

(Guiseppe joins the group)

Guiseppe: "Concerto."

Teef: "He says he's ready."

Fat Toni: "How about everyone else?"

(Camera scrolls to the side as everyone gives their answer)

Teef: "Yeah!"

Guiseppe: "Libretto" (yes)

Doogie: (excitedly but cut off) "Ye-!"

Fat Toni: (Excitedly) "You aren't coming!"

Doogie: "Awww..."

(Camera goes on to Donnie who has an exaggeratedly and comically pissed off face and his arms crossed and is hunched)

Donnie: (with a childlike misery) "No."

Fat Toni: (excitedly) "Doesn't matter!!"

(View goes back to Fat Toni.)

Fat Toni: (In a cool voice) "Well. Now that everyone's ready..." (pauses while putting on some of the stupidest glasses on the end of his nose and pushing the glasses up the bridge of his nose) "... Let's go rob a bank."

*** END OF EPISODE 1 ***

#gangstars #animation #script #screenplay #comedy #action #gang #gangs #funny #gangsters

[frederator-studios]

Meet Rory Panagotopulos, Creator of Thrashin’ USA

Rory Panagotopulos is a Boston native with a Venice Beach soul, whose lifelong love of skateboarding inspired his short “Thrashin’ USA” our 11th Go! Cartoon. When he’s not animating the crowd-pleasing interstitials of MTV shows like Girl Code, Rory is hanging out with his dog Bosco or creating skate-related content such as gifs of the Gundam robots catching phat air—quality content accessible on his Instagram. I caught up with Rory to talk sketch comedy, bad 80s action sports movies, and turning your childhood neighbors into over-the-top cartoon villains.

How did you start animating?

I always wanted to do art—funny art, if possible. I knew I wanted to animate but didn’t really know where to start. The first things I made were claymations In high school—my aunt and uncle were getting rid of their giant 80s VHS camcorder, so I used that and just hit ‘record’ and ‘stop’ really fast.

An illustrious beginning. Where’d that take you?

I went to college for Computer Science. It was back when the belief was that everything was going to be 3D animated from then on. So I started getting into 3D animation, and found that it wasn’t for me. I’ve always loved drawing and making characters, and I was got lost in all the technicality of 3D. So I started focusing on art in college instead, and realized I could easily use a computer to make 2D animations.

Wait, so… you became a Computer Science major just to do 3D animation?

Yeeeaah. I was so mystified by animation that I was like, “3D animation is done on computers right, so Computer Science major it is.” 

Oh man.

It culminated with me and my friend sort of tricking our advisors into letting us make a movie our senior year. He was a film major and I was like an Art major, Comp. Sci. minor at that point. Our movie had 3D animations that I did the full animating on - way too much for one person, so it didn’t look great - but it was an animated movie.

That’s cool. Did you submit it to festivals?

Ohhh, yeah, noo, it wasn’t a fit for festivals. But we did meet people from MTV because of it. Randomly, a dude at MTVU reached out to us after seeing it. And oddly enough, the same person I first met at MTV, 10 years later, is the person I work with now at MTV.  

What do you do for MTV now?

Technically the gig is with the independent production company that the executive producer of the shows I work on created. But I make the little explanatory animations for the show Girl Code.

Neat! So did you go straight into freelance animating after school?

Actually, no. Me and the friend I made the film with moved to New York and started doing comedy stuff at Upright Citizen’s Brigade. Just to make stuff, we’d make YouTube videos and would put animation in them.

Comedy stuff! Was that acting, writing, stand-up?

Sketch shows, which we did for about 5 years. They have house teams at UCB, so every month we’d host a different sketch show—it was great training for writing. And we did a few big shows, like one called “Dog Fleet”. It was like a live on-stage Saturday-morning Cartoon parody. Sort of like a Ninja Turtles toss-up, but with dogs.

Actual dogs onstage?

Oh, no, that would’ve been bad, ha—just people. People with very rudimentary dog ears on their heads. And they were obsessed with beans instead of pizza.

Ah, gotcha. So this comedy stuff, it couldn’t have been paying the bills?

Not quite! I was working at a book publisher, Simon and Schuster, doing the #1 most boring job in the arts. I’d go through editor’s corrections for books and make sure they didn’t mess up the page layout too much. So scrolling through books all day adding commas.

And then you’d let out all that steam with the comedy at night?

Pretty much! I liked that job because it ended at 5pm, and I wouldn’t think about it again until the next morning. Lived that double lifestyle for a while. Then the guy I met at MTV started doing Girl Code, and reached out to me and was like, “Oh, do you still do animation?”. At first I was like, “No”.

Ha! Shut down.

I wasn’t exactly like “No” but I was like, “Oh, I dunno, this comedy thing is pretty cool.” But I eventually got too bored of the other job. So I reached out to him and was like, “Hey, are you still doing that?” And he was like “Actually no, I’m not.” But he graciously introduced me to the new person who was running the show. So that’s how that gig started.

Did you dream of making a cartoon as a kid?

Definitely, I was obsessed with cartoons. We didn’t have cable until I was like 12, so any time a cartoons came on TV, I was watching it. It was basically Ninja Turtles and all the action 80s and 90s cartoons like GI Joe and Centurions. And I was totally obsessed with the X-Men cartoon, which I actually re-watched recently and found to have the most insane complicated plot of any cartoon. I definitely didn’t understand what was going on when I was a kid. I guess I was just like “Oh my God! Wolverine!”

So what do you work on in your own time?

The awesome thing about doing freelance is I can take a full month here and there to work on personal stuff. I did an animated web series a couple years ago called “Garbage Time”. It’s about two kids sitting on the bench for a basketball team, something I did a lot of my freshman year of high school. I did everything for it: writing, casting, recording, animating. I learned why so many people work on animated projects—it’s a lot to make. If I’m more busy, I make wacky photoshops that I usually share on Twitter.

So did you come to pitch to Go! Cartoons?

I knew of Frederator through Adventure Time or Fairly OddParents. I don’t know what landed me on the website... again with the theme of me not knowing what I’m doing. But I saw the Go! Cartoons program, and was like, “Oh, I definitely want to do this”. “Dog Fleet” was originally going to be my cartoon pitch, but my friend wanted to do it as a sketch show, so that’s how that went.

But I still wanted to make a cartoon, so I came up with two new pitches. My girlfriend and I were coming out to LA for a wedding, so I scheduled my pitch for then, and figured if I’m going all the way out there, I’ll wow them with two - not just one - pitches. In hindsight, neither was good. Eric (our VP Development) gave me great notes and a quick class on pitching, and I took his advice home, came up with and boarded “Thrashin’ USA”, and did a better pitch over Skype.

What was the advice you were given on pitching?

Well, because the shorts are only 5 minutes, character is key. You have to get a very good, likable character out to the audience as quickly as possible. And then you also want the story to be simple and to the point. The ones I’d pitched before, nothing really happened. They were kind of like mumblecore. So when I went back I tried to make a very tight story where actions happened in sequence, and you get to know a character, and you actually feel good at the end.

What inspired “Thrashin’ USA”?

I loved skateboarding in high school and college. I was terrible at it, but I’ve always loved it, and skate culture in general. And it was on my mind at the time because my nephew was turning 5 and wanted a skateboard for his birthday. I was like: #1, it’s crazy that you’re 5 and you want a skateboard; and #2, I was remembering how when you’re a kid, it’s so hard to get anything. So I thought about a kid trying to get a skateboard or get his skateboard back, and that’s where that idea originated.

Also, my neighbor growing up was named Mrs. Tracy. And before I had a board, they always had this old 70s banana board in the back of their garage that I would just see. I’d always think, “Oh man… I just want to get that board.”

Were you guys friendly... was she evil? Is she gonna see your short?!

I think she was a very nice woman - definitely not evil. We were always like, losing balls in her backyard, so I think she was more annoyed with us than anything. The way my dad is… I’m sure he’ll see her on the street and try to explain it to her and she’ll be like, “Okay.”

Who were the inspirations for Pau and Gabby?

Pau basically looks a lot like my nephew, so that’s true to life. With Gabby, I wanted there to be a cool skater girl, and to avoid any kind of ‘damsel in distress’ trope. She’s as good a skateboarder, if not better than Pau.

Did you know any cool skater girls growing up?

Not really. Mostly because me and my one friend in high school who also skateboarded were too bad to go to skateparks or anything. But I think some of the reason behind that was that back then, and still now, skateboarding has an annoying "boys club" vibe. I think part of my intention with Gabby’s character was to raise the representation, in a small way, of skateboarding being a cool thing for girls to do. I’d rather paint a picture of skateboarding that’s more open to everyone.

Well you know one now! Not sure I count as “cool” though. Do you still skateboard?

Nah; the last time I did was back when I was still doing sketch comedy. I was using a skateboard as a prop in a show, so I skateboarded 5 or 6 blocks from the train to the theater, and my knees hurt so much afterward that I was like, “Ok, well, that was fun while it lasted.”

Where you grew up, was skateboarding a big part of the culture?

I grew up in the suburbs of Boston, and definitely not. The things kids liked were baseball and hockey. I watched a lot of TV shows as a kid about skateboarding and California and it always seemed like this awesome fantasy world where everybody skateboarded. Really I only had one or two friends who also skateboarded. But it was this cool thing where we were from a place people wouldn’t skateboard, but we were doing it anyway. And being from Massachusetts, we had to have a chip on our shoulders because it’s cold all the time. So it was this point of pride like, “Yeah, let’s go skate even though it’s freezing.”

Do you know what you’d do with a Thrashin’ USA series?

Well I’ve drawn a lot from the bad skateboarding movies that were made in the 80s and 90s. There’s one called Thrashin’ that is definitely my favorite of them; it’s basically Romeo and Juliet set against a downhill skateboarding race. There’s a rollerblading one called Airborne. And they make no sense. They’re supposed to take place in the normal world, but it’s all over-the-top and skateboarding is the most important thing in the world for everybody. And I was like, these could be good, if the conceit was that this is a fantasy world where skateboarding is super important and everyone cares about skateboarding, cause that’s just not reality. So that’s the idea: to build that kind of world and treat it as a fantasy.

Have you thought about Pau and Gabby’s arcs?

Well I imagine that this world would have levels of competitions. So I see them both entering the town competition, then regional, state, and all the way up to universal competitions. And it’d become a dynamic where they’re working out whether they have feelings for each other, and whether those will be affected by the fact that they’re both very focused on skateboarding and trying to be the best in the world at it.

Would Mrs. Tracy remain a primary antagonist?

Yeah, I like her as an antagonist because one of the goofiest things about those 80s skateboarding movies is how ridiculous the villains are. It’s (dramatic voice) parents, teachers, COPS. You know, people who are generally just trying their best but because they’re enemies of skateboarding, they’re public enemy #1 in this world. So I like the heightening of strict teachers, crazy neighbors—Mrs. Tracy just trying to get vengeance for her azaleas.

What are your biggest influences and favorite cartoons?

For “Thrashin’ USA” specifically, the title comes from the song “Thrashin’ USA” by The Bones Brigade, that actually took their name from a skateboarding crew from the 80s—so doubly ripping off. They were like a thrash metal band I was really into in college that did a lot of songs about skateboarding and eating junk food.

Some of my favorite movies of all time are the Bill and Ted duology. I think it’s had a big influence on my humor and ideas. I’m a fan of Genndy Tartakovsky’s stuff - definitely Samurai Jack, but I feel like his Star Wars: Clone Wars cartoon gets overlooked. That was my favorite cartoon for a while. One of my favorite animated movies ever is called Interstella 5555. It’s basically a Daft Punk album that they made an anime over, and the story is of a super popular alien pop group getting corporatized by an Earth record company. I also really liked Daria and Beavis and Butthead. When Adult Swim and Toonami became a thing, I was all about that. 

And what are you working on now, as personal projects?

Well I was inspired by the whole Go! Cartoons process, so I’ve just been like, coming up with a lot of pitches and character ideas. One that I’m working on now is about a BMX bike gang—sort of like Daria crossed with Akira.

I’d watch! Thanks for the chat Rory. I’m excited to see the projects you slide into next.

- Cooper

#The Frederator Interview #Frederator Studios #Go! Cartoons #Cartoon Hangover #interview #animation #cartoons #frederator #Thrashin' #Thashin' USA #skateboarding

[kagetatsumis]

85 Questions Tag

Thanks for tagging me! @highlady-of-slytherin <3 you

wow okay 85 is a lot of questions lol

Rules: Answer and tag 20 people

— What was your last…

1. Drink: water xD rip me and my runner life

2. Phone call: home! i needed to get a ride home from practice

3. Text message: my friend <3

4. Song you listened to?: In My Blood by Shawn Mendes (it’s good omg)

5. Time you cried: okay honestly yesterday?? i think?? tho it was minimal and more like inner screaming so i’ll roll with last Thursday. that day was sadly a bad one

6. Dated someone twice: i haven’t dated anyone so :D

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: i also haven’t kissed anyone xD i live a very secluded teen life (me and my books)

8. Been cheated on: thankfully no but i also need to get a bf first

9. Lost someone special: um i’m really lucky to not have gone through a family/friend death yet tbh 

10. Been depressed: soooo like every day?? i’m not like terribly depressed but certainly school makes me have the moments (this semester especially UGH when is vacation coming)

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nah i haven’t drank wine before

— Fave colours

12. Green

13. Blue

14. uh...Silver!

— in the last year have you…

15. Made new friends: yeah buddy <3 here and irl :)

16. Fallen out of love: actually i have. kinda weird to wrap my head around because I’ve never had a bf before but i think my crush went deep enough i’d count it as falling out of love (ish)

17. Laughed until you cried: oh heck yeah lol

18. Found out someone was talking about you: mhm tho not always in a bad way

19. Met someone who changed you: yeah i’d say so!

20. Found out who your friends are: definitely oh man there was drama and wow

21. Kissed someone on your facebook friends list: nope haha still haven’t kissed anyone in the minutes i’ve been typing this

— General

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know irl: okay almost all of them. my best friend and i have to find a way to get across the country to see each other haha

23. Do you have any pets: no tho i want a cat!!

24. Do you want to change your name: ehhh no

25. What did you do for your last birthday: um i went to practice (ran hills) ate lunch with my friends and went shopping for a banquet dress!

26. What time did you wake up today: oh man today it was 6:30 but normally when i have morning practice it’s at 5:50 am (sad life)

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping thank goodness my hw load isn’t that bad anymore (lies haha i just don’t do it ;))

28. What is something you can’t wait for: BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS

30. What are you listening to right now: the rain outside

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: um...no i don’t think so haha

32. Something that’s getting on your nerves: people running RIGHT BEHIND ME ON A RUN LIKE PLEASE GIVE ME MY SPACE it freaks me out when i try to turn to talk to my friend and someone is right behind me like dude you’re gonna give me a heart attack and it makes me hella nervous when i run

33. Most visited website: tumblr HAHA where is my life

34. Hair colour: dark brown! light brown in the sun tho

35. Long or short hair: long c:

36. Do you have a crush on someone: eek yes didn’t think i would after my very long crush with someone else (and then things didn’t work out) but we’re back to me being a girl with a crush (and duh i have like thousands of book crushes)

37. What do you like about yourself:  my eyes! people say it’s really light

38. Want any piercings: nope

39. Blood type: no idea tbh i think my mom said it’s either O or... B? i think it was that? 

40. Nicknames: none haha Cindy doesn’t offer much

41. Relationship status: with book characters ;) single

42. Sign: Capricorn

43. Pronouns: she/her

44. Fave tv show: i don’t watch tv oops but i’d say The A-Team

45. Tattoos: none! and i don’t think i’ll get one

46. Right or left handed: right

47: Ever had surgery: no i’m very grateful

48. Piercings: none!

49. Sport: Cross Country :) used to play soccer

50. Vacation: just somewhere in nature like national parks such gorgeous places ahhhh

51. Trainers: what does this mean?? like my shoes? my running shoes?

— More general 

52. Eating: pasta

53. Drinking: Thai tea :D

54. I’m about to watch: myself struggle to do hw

55. Waiting for: books

56. Want: BOOKS

57. Get married: yes! but only once i’ve found someone who will love me and care for me

58. Career: Writer <3

— Which is better

59. Hugs or kisses: hugs :D

60. Lips or eyes: eyes haha

61. Shorter or taller: taller!

62. Older or younger: older ;P

63. Nice arms or stomach: eek um...nice arms?

64. Hookup or relationships: relationships!!

65. Troublemaker or hesitant: ooh um i think troublemaker tbh HAHA with some hesitance c:

— Have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger: nope lol

67. Drank hard liquor: nope

68.Turned someone down: yes

69. Sex on first date: never had sex!

70: Broken someone’s heart: ahhhh yes D:::: i mean like i didn’t mean to but i honestly don’t have romantic feelings for him

71. Had your heart broken: sadly yes

72. Been arrested: nope and hopefully never

73. Cried when someone died: okay um no one i’ve known has died but i think i def would

74. Fallen for a friend: yes haha

— Do you believe in

75. Yourself: i think i do!! i try to be very self-motivating 

76. Miracles: yeah

77. Love at first sight: kinda???

78. Santa Claus: no lol rip my childhood

79. Angels: i think i do

— Misc

80. Eye colour: light brown

81. Best friends name: @highlady-of-slytherin I LOVE YOUUUUU <3 (tho i do have another best friend who i shall not name haha)

82. Favourite movie: oh man...right now tbh it’s The Greatest Showman haha (I DONT WATCH MANY MOVIES K)

83. Favourite actor: don’t have one

84. Favourite cartoon: Pokemon HAHA

85. Favourite teacher’s name: i don’t think i have one tbh

jeez 20 is too many i’ll tag like 10

@goldbooksblack @thelaughingzeebra @readingismycopingmechanism @throne-of-wingspans @tntwme @thereitisthatfamousscowl @unicornbooks @rkjar1646 @escapingtheconstrictingboxes @highlady-of-night

you don’t have to do it/do it if you want to even if i didn’t tag you!!

#tag games #tagged #personal #whew was that long #and wow do i not know a lot of my followers to tag

[n0ttinghamshad0w]

It's not like I'm falling in love, I just want you to do me no good And you look like you could

ROBIN OLIVER HUNT (Name at birth: Robin Huang; Alias: Robert Oliver Gardner)

Birthday: March 12 1990 (Pisces) Hogwarts House (Primary):  Gryffindor Hogwarts House (Secondary): Slytherin Myers-Briggs: ENFP Enneagram: Type 8 Height:  5’9

Overview:

Mother:

1.       Unknown—Linda Huang, still alive, forced to give up her child by her conservative parents who did not want her raising a child out of wedlock, has not tried to make contact with her son.

2.       Mother Florence—the head nun at Nottingham Orphanage, firm, but kind; strict, but genuinely wanted the best for the children; had a soft spot for Robin, since he’d been there for like all his life.

3.       Barbara Economides—Robin’s first foster mom, had six kids of her own, but room in her heart for a dozen more

Father:

1.       Unknown—Ernesto Rosetti

2.       George Economides—Robin’s first foster dad, loving and hard-working man, who unfortunately did not have a very hard-working cardiovascular system. Died of a heart attack when Robin was ~12

Mother’s Occupation: he doesn’t care about his birth mom, but Barbara owned a bakery

Father’s Occupation: he doesn’t care about his birth dad, but George owned a bakery

Family Finances: well, none of the homes he was in were great financially

Birth Order: only child as far as he’s concerned

Siblings: N/A--(Stefan, Petros, Elek, Idola, Eileen, Karena...the Economides kids)

Other Close Family: None

Best Friend: Joan Woode (28)

Other Friends: Tuck Frere (26), Martin Maddon (18), Fakhir Azhar (27)

Enemies: all those who neglect/abuse their children

Pets: none, would love a bird or a fox tho

Home Life During Childhood: He was in an orphanage till he was nine, and it was not a bad orphanage at all, just massively under-funded. At nine, he was placed in a foster home, a large Greek family, and he was very well-loved and well-taken care of, but the father dropped dead of a heart attack when Robin was 12 and the Economides family had to move and they couldn’t take care of Robin. He shuffled through like four other foster homes, at least one of which he was badly abused in, till at seventeen, he just didn’t come home one day and the family never reported it and that was that.

Town or City Name(s): Nottingham, England

What Did His Bedroom Look Like: Never had a steady room, or one of his own. Always shared with someone else, always a small bed.

Any Sports or Clubs: Nah, he was the type of kid who hung out under bridges and threw stuff.

Favorite Toy or Game: Had a toy archery kit back at the Economides house

Schooling: left school at seventeen

Favorite Subject: History and English, loved old stories of Robin Hood

Popular or Loner: loner---’cept he was real popular with the “troubled” kids, the freak in freaks and geeks

Important Experiences or Events: When George died, the abuse at the other foster homes

Health Problems: None

Culture: English?? He’s actually Italian and Chinese, but wouldn’t know at all. Considers himself Greek, if anything

Religion and beliefs: The only time in his life when he was religious was when he lived with the Economides family and went to church on the reg, since then, he’s convinced that if a God does exist, he’s a shitty God and only people can really help each other

Your Character’s Character:

Bad Habits: smoking, drinking, commitment issues, def has ghosted girls before...oh yeah, uh, stealing things??? He’s also a pickpocket

Good Habits: very good with children, when he wants to be he’s very kindhearted, very charismatic, very charming, good sweet-talker

Best Characteristic: intense--has his set of beliefs and morals and will stick by them

Worst Characteristic: intense--to the point where he isolates himself

Worst Memory: The moment the Economides family left him at the social services office (also George’s death lbr)

Best Memory: His first Christmas with the Economides family

Proud of: the money he’s been able to give back to the orphanage

Embarrassed by: his lack of formal education

Driving Style: erratically, I don’t think he has a license but he definitely knows how to drive--does not get into accidents, but is hella reckless

Strong Points: passionate, believes in a cause, dedicated friend, charming, charismatic, quick-learner, good with his hands

Temperament: sanguine

Attitude: passionate, intense

Weakness: has a very specific mission, keeps people at a distance unless you’ve proved yourself to him, you can know him but never really know him

Fears: man, uh, not being able to make a difference

Phobias: abandonment issues~~~

Secrets: the fact that he’s a master thief

Regrets: not finishing secondary, not being like a better person or whatever

Feels Vulnerable When: talking about his past

Pet Peeves: tourists (but they make good bait), people who hate on people who use subtitles, americans, mac copmputers

Conflicts: his very idealistic moral code vs reality, his very idealistic moral code and mission vs caring about his own life/needs

Motivation: justice for children

Short Term Goals and Hopes: find Tuck’s family, steal from Tuck’s family, find Martin, find enough money to get Fakhir a good lawyer

Long Term Goals and Hopes: well shit, making a difference in the lives of people somehow

Sexuality: heterosexual, but could be convinced to fuck a bloke

Exercise Routine: just generally active, runs a fair bit, likes to play sports with friends

Day or Night Person — Night

Introvert or Extrovert — Extrovert

Optimist or Pessimist — Optimist

Likes and Styles:

Music: alt-rock, classic rock, rock in general, also some punk

Books: he likes old stories and folktales (ie; Robin Hood whom he modeled himself after), but does have a soft spot for some high fantasy books (he’s a big fan of Lloyd Alexander’s work--wait, I guess that doesn’t exist since The Black Cauldron is disney but IM SURE HE HAD SOME SORTA EQUIVALENT...The Beige Cauldron) and adventure novels

Magazines: GQ probs let’s be real. Never bought one, always knicked ‘em out of newstands. ALso probably playboy……...Recently has been into tech mags.

Foods: Greek food---reminds him of his time with the Economides family. Loves him a good lamb gyro with a big side of chips.

Drinks: Whiskey--straight up. Not a huge tea drinker, but likes a strong Turkish coffee. Also Gin and Tonics

Animals: Foxes and birds of prey. Tbh, kinda hates that the name the orphanage gave him is ROBIN for crying out loud it sounds so fuckin’ wimpy

Sports: big football fan, also into rugby, probably out of all my characters the one who follows sports the most jeez

Social Issues: def def a huge proponent for children’s rights, especially within the foster system; that’s his biggest thing, but he’s also really for Magick-Rights and against the pressing xenophobia and nationalism that’s rising in a lot of Western European nations

Favorite Saying: Faint heart never won fair lady; As you wish

Color: Dark forest green

Clothing: enough to maintain his image as a #rebel, but def does not invest toooo much in fashion. Lots of cool jackets, mostly darker colors

Jewelry: nah, mate that’s excessive (has this pendent that Barbara gave him that used to be George’s but that’s it)

Games: loves dominoes a lot actually

Websites: uhh reddit probably

TV Shows: probs into Game of Thrones and #epic period dramas

Movies: his absolute favorite movie is The Princess Bride, he loves good action flicks with a dash of epic romance--something with a real hero. Also probs a Star Wars fan. V for Vendetta

Greatest Want: to make a difference in the world, to make sure no child is ever hurt

Greatest Need: to let people in

Where and How Does Your Character Live Now:

Home: small studio apartment in Benbow

Household furnishings: sparse, probs just sleeps on a mattress let’s be real, has a hot plate and a mini fridge, uses a crate for a coffee table

Favorite Possession: his trusty pocket knife, one of the first things he bought with his own money

Most Cherished Possession: necklace that Barbara Economides gave to him that used to belong to George, it is a Greek Cross

Married Before: Nope.

Significant Other Before: the only serious one was this rather posh girl when he was 21. She ended up getting pregnant, but got an abortion and the relationship sorta derailed after that.

Children: nah

Relationship with Family: lol

Car: n/a

Career: no “career”--has worked service jobs and manual labor, was a bartender for a bit but quit bc of the Fakhir thing

Dream Career: god, he doesn’t know--maybe a social worker, tbh, or owning some sort of afterschool program for kids

Dream Life: he wouldn’t tell you, but being married to a beautiful girl, having a buncha kids, adopting a bunch too

Love Life: a string of one-night stands and brief dramatic love affairs that ended like smoke in the night

Hobbies : knife-throwing, wood-carving

Guilty Pleasure : women?

Sports or Clubs: not at the moment

Talents or Skills : wood-carving, bartending, bit of an amateur hacker, decent dancer and football player, decent at like climbing things lol, lock-picking, stealth talents

Intelligence Level: Never did well in school, but is quite very streetsmart and can read people very well, knowledgable on random things, courtsey of Tuck 

Finances: not as bad as you’d think, but still def the poorest out of my characters. He’s the type of dude who gives everything he gets back--always drops in coins for street musicians, always

#character sheet #about

[janiedean]

I never thought I'd be this person but I legit said"what hetero nonsense is this" when Rose said love and kissed Finn lol

okay anon this is not against you and I know you didn’t mean this seriously and I know this reply might be overreacting, and you probably didn’t see that I previously posted about hating how this fandom (especially *my* subfandom technically) is reacting to finnrose so you probably didn’t know, but: no.

specifically:

it wasn’t random nor nonsense. she had a fangirl crush on him, she got to know him better and she liked him and she thought she was about to bloody die. if I was in her place I also would kiss the guy I like if anything to know I’ve done it.

on the other side, he needed to talk to someone he didn’t know already and to show him a different side of things and who made him realize that the resistance was more than single people he might have cared for or not going against the big bad evil, which was what made him finally stop running. he didn’t kiss her back but it’s nice that he gets it from someone who likes him genuinely, especially coming after a life of dehumanization.

so it wasn’t nonsense, it was a plot decision you can like or not but saying it was out of left field or made no sense or was nonsensical is not a thing I can agree with because imo it was very well-developed and like in a life or death situation I would probably try to kiss the guy I liked, and rose liking finn was already introduced from the moment she showed up and then she just got to like him as the person he was rather than the supposed *legend* or whatever, which... is... nice. it’s normal. it happens. why the hell should it be nonsensical?

ah, because it was heteronormative and apparently if het ships happen it’s bad because they’re heterosexual, which is like, typical tumblr drivel and sorry but nah.

(now, before I go into it: if it had been rey kissing finn, would people be crying about heteronormative nonsense? idk. just a thought. and guess what, for me finn/rey is like, the most platonic shit in existence and I can’t see the two of them kissing romantically and it making any sense so we all see it differently, but if it had happened I’d have shrugged and moved on with my life. anyway.)

listen, guys, let’s be freaking real, as much as tumblr likes to think the contrary, straight/heterosexual people make up 90% of the demographic. heteronormativity is normativity because nine people on ten are straight. the problem is when heteronormativity is seen as the only default. the point is that if you want to counteract that you have to push to normalize relationships that are not heteronormative and make sure they’re seen as a valid alternative to the norm, but you can’t honestly go and say that heteronormativity is in itself statistically wrong because it’s not, nor that it’s in itself inherently wrong because then you pass the message that if you’re straight you’re *wrong* and honestly from a website where the message that people think they’re passing is that *you aren’t -wrong- for your sexuality I’m really tired to see that it’s valid for everything except straight people. because it’s really fun to go online and wade through posts on posts of people joking about how if you’re straight you’re Bad, you have no tastes, you’re not a good lay if you’re a man and should date women anyway if you’re a woman and everything bad in the world is the fault of you horrible straight person and ah, wait, being straight is also boring and who would choose to be straight -

except that you don’t choose your sexuality. no, I didn’t choose mine either. (yes, I’m straight if it wasn’t clear, and I’m getting progressively pissed off at this attitude. actually I’ve gone past the point of pissed off, but never mind that.

so like, now apparently if a heterosexual ship happens it’s all because they wanted to cater to the straight crowd and it’s all nonsense just because it’s a man and a woman locking lips!

and like, fuck, no. this idea that finnrose is inherently nonsense because it’s *heteronormative* and they pushed finn on a WOMAN THAT’S NOT REY is.... sorry, I know you didn’t mean it like that and I don’t wanna sound like an asshole, but if you say that rey would have been cool and rose isn’t then WHY, I mean isn’t rose okay enough? good enough? I mean I’ve read some stuff on *my ship’s* tag which was reeking racism because rose was apparently a downgrade and rey was the only option they could accept *if finn had to be with a woman* and honestly, no?? that’s... like... no??? I find it really rich coming from people who ship... a pairing.... made of nonwhite people.... at least for US standards (yeah I ship finn/poe mainly and this movie has made me block half of the tag for the finnrose vitriol IMAGINE HOW NICE). and IT ONLY HAPPENED SO THEY COULD CANCEL THE GAY COUPLE is like... a) it wasn’t gonna happen in the MIDDLE movie anyway esp. a franchise that gets distributed in countries where the gay couple would mean a ban/the movie not getting released (like, we do remember the beauty and the beat wank over damned lefou for what, ten seconds of him dancing with a dude??), b) means that finn’s sl would have had any worth just if he and poe made out (and same for poe) which basically means reducing their storylines to them making out? like, that’s... really.... sad? they only have worth as characters if they make out? sorry, I can’t really rally behind that. I care about them as characters and I loved their sl this movie and if they don’t kiss WHATEVER, 99% of the m/m couples I shipped in my life stayed not canon and it never changed my life, even if they were in relationships with women. that’s why fanfic exists. maybe next movie we’re getting it (because anyway rose kissed finn, he didn’t kiss back or anything so it can go there or it can’t and whichever way it goes I’m okay with it) maybe we’re not, but saying that their existence is useless if they don’t kiss or bang or aren’t *gay* just reeks of tokenism to me and the fact that finnrose is being described as heteronormative bullshit made to appease the r/eylo people or to deny people finn/poe is really not a thing I can rally behind either.

like, again, there’s nothing NONSENSE behind it and the fact that you attached heteronormative to it again means that the problem with it is that it’s an heterosexual ship and given that it had all reasons for existing and that, again, I’m really fucking tired of every straight relationship in new media getting thrown at the wolves just because it’s straight and being straight on tumblr is Very Bad TM so... sorry. it’s not. and like, if according to you it was just *nonsense* fine, you didn’t like it, legit, but heteronormative nonsense? really? can we just.... not... frame it as if anything heteronormative or heterosexual or straight is The Worst especially since on top of that finnrose is actually pretty progressive as a thing? I mean, when was the last time you saw a main black lead in an immensely popular scifi franchise that everyone and their kids watch in a relationship with an asian woman? never. like, it’s progressive, too, not the same way finn/poe is but progressive nonetheless, so... like... can’t we just let this goddamned ship live and be the cute thing it was without splitting hairs?

because sorry but again the fact that the main objections I’ve seen were a) IT’S STRAIGHT AND NOT GAY, b) he’s kissing rose and not rey IF WE HAD TO HAVE A STRAIGHT SHIP, c) IT’S PROREYLO AND ANTISTORMPILOT which.... uuughhh. like, can’t y’all take things the way they are? (nvm that I could rant for three hours about how r*ylo was like, written to happen and the fact that people don’t want to recognize that a villain has a personality is another entire problem but never mind.) it’s a cute ship. it happens to be straight. it’s also fairly progressive in itself. it was put on a good (imo) storyline which made sense and everything poor rose did was kissing the dude she liked after saving his life and thinking she was about to die. lay off her, pls?

last thing: since - we all guessed it by now - I happen to be straight can... y’all... please... not send me asks about how shitty heteronormative ships are and the likes? I mean, I know it’s a problem in a lot of cases and I’m more than willing to call it out if it’s obviously done maliciously but this wasn’t the case and I’m honestly tired of this STRAIGHTS ARE TERRIBLE drivel and HETERONORMATIVITY IS INHERENTLY BAD drivel and so on. especially when it’s about a thing I don’t actively ship but liked (finnrose) and then I have to go into my ship’s tag (f/p) and see it trashed to hell and back and read posts over posts about how they fucked up f/p for THE STRAIGHTS when I’d be the first person to offer the entire cinema a beer if it actually was canon. like, I’d be overjoyed if it was. but not at the cost of being assholes to other people who ship other things or at the cost of trashing on this movie for things that don’t exist or deny both of those two’s character arcs because at the end of it THEY AREN’T GAY. (as if they couldn’t be bi or pan, but of course anything that implies that someone could be in a rship with someone of the different sex is okay just as long as the relationship isn’t with someone of a different sex. like. please guys. no.)

last thing: don’t take this rant personally anon I’m sure you meant well, but you just touched on a thing that is really irking me lately and my hand slipped. I’m really meaning no ill will I’m just really tired of this HORRIBLE HETERONORMATIVE complaints thrown around like candy because of course everyone has feelings and shouldn’t be insulted except straight people because they are the majority so they can go die in a fire as far as tumblr cares. peace.

#finnrose #i hope it's okay to tag but i've seen some horrid shit tagged FR from people who hate it for dumb reasons so #sw wank #the last jedi for ts #the last jedi spoilers for ts #ch: finn (sw) #ch: rose tico #the last jedi #the last jedi spoilers #jfc I can't anymore like I don't even know how to put it without sounding like an arse #but guys no #like if you send me asks like this idk what answer you'll expect to receive #but not 'ikr' #because that's not it #thanks I'm done #Anonymous #ask post

[goldentailedmermaids]

I was tagged by @crookedravenclaw thank you very much ^^

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people

tagging: @ceridwenofwales @lahnister and @ourashesofroses

last

1. drink - water

2. phone call - my twin sister

3. text message - best friend

4. song you listened to - CON TEEEE PARTIROOOOO!!!!!!!

5. time you cried - Sunday. Coco wrecked me!

6. dated someone twice? - lol I never dated at all!

7. kissed someone and regretted it - yeah no... or maybe I suppressed the memory

8. been cheated on - never

9. lost someone special - oh yes. And it still makes me sad.

10. been depressed - yes. All the time, dude!

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - nah. Throwing up is a crime to alcohol and good ass beer. But obviously, drinking a bottle of vodka straight up is definitely gonna make someone throw up, so I try to drink like I would run a marathon.

fave colours

12. pink

13. yellow

14. blue

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - yes

16. fallen out of love - I guess??? Does a TV-show counts?

17. laughed until you cried - oh yes!!!!

18. found out someone was talking about you - I try not to think about it. I does nothing but trigger paranoia

19. met someone who changed you - kind of... I mean, I met good and bad people and I believe they all changed me to some extent.

20. found out who your friends are - My friends are good friends and I love them!

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - what?

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - hhhhhhhh I dunno, fifty of them? A hundred? All of them?

23. do you have any pets - TWO CATS!!!!! THE MOST ADORABLE OF CATS!!!!

24. do you want to change your name - never! I love my name!

25. what did you do for your last birthday - went to the cinema and ate in a restaurant (but I hate my Bday and next time, I wanna spend it in my bed!)

26. what time did you wake up today - 6:40 AM

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - sleeping

28. what is something you can’t wait for - vacations!!!!!

30. what are you listening to right now - Con te Partiro

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - There are people named Tom?

32. something that’s getting on your nerves - myself. And cunts on the road!

33. most visited website - tumblr, twitter, ao3 and youtube

34. hair colour -  golden blonde

35. long or short hair - kind of long?

36. do you have a crush on someone - not at the moment...

37. what do you like about yourself - my creativity and my hair

38. want any piercings? - nope

39. blood type - idk mate...

40. nicknames - laulau (ew!)

41. relationship status - in a long term relationship with celibacy

42. zodiac - scorpio

43. pronouns - she/her

44. fave tv shows - Brooklyn nine-nine, Vikings, Black Sails

45. tattoos - none

46. right or left handed - right

47. ever had surgery - never

48. piercings - none

49. sport - I’d love to do HEMA and wield a longsword again.

50. vacation -  oh my, all over the world! But atm, Japan!

51. trainers - nike

more general

52. eating - food

53. drinking - chai latte

54. i’m about to watch - nothing, Imma go to sleep baby!

55. waiting for - the end of the week!

56. want - money!!!!!!!!! (and to finish that damn fanfic chapter!!!!)

57. get married - maybe one day...

58. career - I’d like to say writer... But I also want to be a reviewer or build a publishing house.

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - hugs

60. lips or eyes - lips

61. shorter or taller - taller

62. older or younger - younger

63. nice arms or stomach - arms

64. hookup or relationship - relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant - hesitant

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger - never

67. drank hard liquor - yeah!

68. lost glasses - never

69. turned someone down - yes

70. sex on first date - with celibacy?

71. broken someone’s heart - not that I can think of.

72. had your heart broken - maybe?

73. been arrested - lol no.

74. cried when someone died - yeah.

75. fallen for a friend - never

do you believe in

76. yourself - HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! NEXT QUESTION!

77. miracles - perhaps

78. love at first sight - I’d love to.

79. santa claus - NO!!!!! MY CHILDHOOD DREAMS WERE SHATTERED!!!!

80. kiss on a first date - why not?

81. angels - I know of one...

other

82. best friend’s name - Alexis, Clementine, Rachel

83. eye colour - grey

84. fave movie - Coco at the moment

85. fave actor - Ghassan Massoud (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

#personal #meme

[sleepywitchery]

#21-#66 ;)

hi anon! there are a lot here so I’m gonna go ahead and make this a read more. 

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

Nah son. I’m too young and I got shit to do. 

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Of course! 

23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

3

24: Is there a certain quote you live by?

Not really? Been trying to go with “be nice” a lot lately. It’s simple and easy. 

25: What’s on your mind?

I have this song from “off book: the improvised musical podcast” stuck in my head. also the like 1000000 things i have to do in order to run auditions this week lol. 

26: Do you have any tattoos?

NO and I want them SO BADLY. I was gonna get them over the summer but then I worked at a summer camp where I had to swim every day. I was gonna get them in the fall but then I got cast as Juliet in Romeo & Juliet. Now I’m waiting to see if we’re doing that show again at this festival, and if we’re not, I’m scheduling my tattoo appointment. 

27: What is your favorite color?

mehhh this changes daily. Usually some shade of blue? 

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

I see my boyfriend on Monday, so probably then! 

29: Who are you texting?

My friend Cole! We’re swapping ugly childhood pictures, it’s pretty great.

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

yes indeed 

31:Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

I think so? Yeah. It sucked.

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

Several! I got lucky with all the wonderful people in my life. 

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?

I most certainly hope that my boyfriend does. 

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

Yeah! Makes me happy. 

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

well boy oh boy that would hurt. unless it was onstage or something. 

36: Were you single on Valentines Day?

yes indeed 

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?

hell yeah! my boyfriend charley is the best 

38: What do your friends call you?

Taylor, T, sometimes Tay 

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?

yeah lol 

40: Have you ever cried over a text?

most definitely 

41: Where’s your last bruise located?

my knee I think? 

42: What is it from?

I never have any idea, man. 

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

literally like 24 hours ago 

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

Charley! 

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

yes, a pair of black ankle boots that I got at a thrift store for $8 a few years ago, and they are breaking :( 

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

nah. I only own winter hats. 

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?

NOPE 

48: Do you make supper for your family?

nope, I don’t live at home 99% of the time. 

49: Does your bedroom have a door?

Indeed it does 

50: Top 3 web-pages?

tbh I have no idea how to check this but probably tumblr, my school’s homework portal website, and facebook. 

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?

I don’t think so? Not sure though. 

52: Does anything on your body hurt?

my head always hurts these days 

53: Are goodbyes hard for you?

very :( not looking forward to the next month with this 

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

coffee yesterday morning 

55: How is your hair?

straight? a little messy? it’s brown right now but I’d like to do something with it after I know if I’m being Juliet again or not. 

56: What do you usually do first in the morning?

check my phone probably 

57: Do you think two people can last forever?

I’d like to think so. 

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?

I was 10. So yeah. 

59: Green or purple grapes?

purple for sure. 

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?

I see Charley and literally all my friends on Monday, so then. 

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

yeah, I miss my apartment and West Chester and my friends 

62: When will be the next time you text someone?

in literally like 1 minute when I reply to Cole 

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?

probably my bedroom 

64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.

sleeeeeeeping 

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?

my ex-boyfriend (then boyfriend) 

66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

There are several :)

thanks dude! No idea why you included a winky face, but thanks! 

#me #ask #anon

[soap-brain]

‘sup i got tagged by @elroymarvelous (and i need to stop using ‘sup as a greeting jesus christ *tips fedora*)

aaand i’m tagging @bottomkirk @greetings-from-the-suffer-puppet @isthisspockspeaking @lieutenant-sapphic @loststarlight @wordssometimesfail @trappist-1p @autisticarchieandrews @greenjimkirk @plaidshirtjimkirk @jamest-kirk @subinnnnn @tomatosdumpster @thetardisismysoulanimal @random-fandoms-trash @thatpunktrekkie and anyone else who wants to do this! just consider yourself tagged :)

 THE LAST

1. Drink: black tea

2. Phone call: my dad? i think? i don’t call people unless i can’t totally avoid it

3. Text message: @isthisspockspeaking

4. Song you listened to: we built this city by starship

5. Time you cried: ???? probably last week or tomorrow

6. Dated someone twice: njoope

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: i’m unkissed, therefore...

8. Been cheated on: nah

9. Lost someone special: yup

10. Been depressed: lkjsldfjslfjklasjdflajs life is hell atm so yes, constantly

11. Gotten drunk + thrown up: literally every time i have as much as two cocktails?? i don’t get it tbh. and i didn’t even really get drunnk

3 Favorite Colors

12. yellow

13. blue

14. green

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. Made new friends: yup!

16. Fallen out of love: didn’t even fall in love so falling out of it is kinda difficult

17. Laughed until you cried: the aquarium incident in physics lab the week before last. i’ve never laughed so hard in my life i think. cried again when we rehashed it

18. Found out someone was talking about you: i guess?? but i knew it already, and it wasn’t bad stuff

19. Met someone who changed you: uhh? maybe

20. Found out who your friends are: (does this year count as last year?? do we mean last calendar year or last 12 months? cause then HELL YES jesus)

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook page: thank god no lol

GENERAL:

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: almost all of them, but there’re a couple where i only assume who they are tbh

23. do you have any pets: ... five cactuses. i bet that counts :p

24. do you want to change your name: i wrote a wonderful monologue about how ravenna is actually p great and i’m learning to be her at @greetings-from-the-suffer-puppet a couple days ago or so. my name makes me pretty damn unique, and i like it!

25. what did you do for your last birthday: went out to dinner with my family and got drinks with an ex-friend later

26. what time did you wake up: I OVERSLEPT AND WOKE UP AT TEN AM MY ALARM WAS FOR 6:30 FUCK ME

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: uh. @bottomkirk uhhh MADE ME watch the dramatic readings of my immortal

28. name something you can’t wait for: august 1, 2017, around 2pm (i’ll be done with my chem final by then and probably also through the post-final breakdown and hopefully already packing / having packed my suitcase)

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: two weeks ago (ish)

31. what are you listening to right now: the two illustrious construction zones a street over :D and whatever else comes through the window. also rain pattering

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes my dad’s best friend’s name is tom and he’s a cool dude. weird, since he’s an artist, but cool

33. something that is getting on your nerves: well i’m mostly done with being insanely annoyed by the spn fandom, so atm it’s the mcu

34. most visited website: tumblurb

35. hair colour: ???? it’s like a dark blonde in places but the tips are light blonde. i’m considering becoming a redhead over the summer :D

36. long or short hair: mine? long. on people? whatever floats their boat

37. do you have a crush on someone: no

38. what do you like about yourself: ???? i think i’m getting a really good grip on my life but it does contain lots of internal crying

39. piercings: two in both ear lobes

40. blood type: 0+ i think. i’m sure about the 0 but i forgot my rhesus type

41. nickname: i don’t have one :( please give me one?

42. relationship status: single pringle terrified to mingle

44. pronouns: she/her

45. favourite tv show: wtf kinda question is that. tos all the way

46. tattoos: i WANT but i’m so broke i don’t quite know how to afford food for the next two weeks haha

47. right or left handed: right

48. surgery: a couple minor ones, once getting my wisdom teeth out and once having a dark birthmark removed. also i think i had to get one of my milk teeth removed by the dentist :D also there was the glass table incident. me and my sisters all have actual scars from that glass table. i p much slit my lip on it and you can still see the scar! fun times! my other sister has a small piece of her ear missing bc of that table :D

50. sport: horseback riding (*cries* i wish i had a stable here), yoga, running

51. vacation: THIS STUPID QUESTION IS IN ALL THESE THINGS AND I JUST HAVE TOO MANY ANSWERS!! ugh. FINE. let’s do this as per the distance these places are away from me. berlin. the netherlands. sweden. the uk. iceland. italy (esp rome, venice and ravenna), france. greece (all the ancient cultures yay). barcelona. idk whether egypt is safe atm but egypt (the pyramids and that all). south africa. japan. china. australia. chile. brazil. mexico. the usa (a roadtrip. you know, the classic. also nyc??? i miss you. also hey i have friendos there!!). canada. OUTER FUCKING SPACE LIKE WHOA

52. pair of trainers: does this mean the shoes or a coach?? i do own shoes if that is the question. several even.

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: rn? nothing. but there will likely be pancakes today

54. drinking: water, and obscene amounts of black tea

55. I’m about to: study (lmao procrastination ftw)

56. waiting for: august 1, 2017, 2pm

57. want: a fucking break

58. get married: maybe

59. career: doctor!! (hey what do you call a nerdy doctor? a DORKtor ahhahahaha love me please)

54. drinking: as in alcohol?? ehh. i have half an apple cider in the fridge, and other than that there’re like two cocktails i like to drink, maybe three

WHICH IS BETTER:

60. hugs or kisses: i’m touch starved so i’m a slut for any kind of physical attention tbh

61. lips or eyes: i like lips cause then you can speak and eat food. i like eyes for seeing (though mine have a glitch. i need an expansion pack for them)

62. shorter or taller: i’m tall. small people are ok but you need to be careful so you don’t lose them in your purse

63. older or younger: ??? well i like kids and seniors can be assholes but also vice versa so idk 

64. nice arms or nice stomach: arms bring the food. stomach holds the food. GoodTM (personally? i’d like for my arms to stop having acne and for my stomach to be flat. thank)

65. hookup or relationship: relationship

66. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant (i only pretend to be tough lmao)

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: nah

68. drank hard liquor: what qualifies as hard?? i’ve had vodka in my drinks, but they were cocktails, so ?? (actually we made moscow mules when i visited my parents and the recipe said to put in 4 cl of vodka but i’m PRETTY sure my dad put in more)

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: akjslöfdjasldfjasldf fuck me up. yes. also broken them. also you try to have -5 dpt and find your fucking glasses. i can see 20ish cm in front of my face clearly. when i lose my glasses i’m essentially fucked

70. turned someone down: yes, and it was a good idea

71. sex on the first date: ha no

73. had your heart broken: sure

74. been arrested: :D (no)

75. cried when someone died: irl? cried when someone almost died. movies? yes.

76. fallen for a friend: nope

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: i guess so, yeah!

78. miracles: “magic is just science that you don’t understand yet��

79. love at first sight: no

80. santa claus: excuse you, this is americawashing. in germany we have the christkind. fuck off

81. kiss on the first date: maybe??

82. angels: ehhhh

OTHER:

84. eye colour: slate grey

85. favourite movie: Wonder Woman (2017) dir. Patty Jenkins (elroy wrote this and imma leave this here), also the one with the whales, transporter 3 and a very specific version of cinderella

#look i overshared! again! #good times #captains log #tag games