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octoberobserver · 2 days

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Save The Last Dance For Me - Buddie Fic

Read on ao3 here

~*~

“I’m never drinking again.”

“Me neither.”

Buck groaned, cradling his head in the crook of his arm, a wide grin still spread across his face as he watched his sister and a little banged up but elated Chimney, have their first dance.

“They look happy,” Eddie murmured next to him, their shoulders brushing together as he took a large gulp of what must have been his fifth glass of water in the last hour.

It had been a…chaotic day, to say the least. From disastrous bachelor parties to losing the groom, to the same groom being in jeopardy all when he was supposed to marry the love of his life and the mother of his child, things seemed to keep going from bad to worse.

But with the help of their family and friends, they got there in the end. Maddie and Chim made their way back to one another and professed their love officially, all beautiful and legally binding.

Eddie got a lump in his throat as he watched his friend twirl his new bride, nudging Buck’s knee as he saw the tell-tale sheen in his gaze.

“You holdin’ up, okay?”

Buck nodded, turning those bright blue eyes to him.

A familiar warmth spread in Eddie’s chest at the sight. Buck had seemed…lighter these last couple of weeks. Ever since he came out to Eddie, and then the rest of the 118, it was as if a weight he hadn’t realized he’d had around him suddenly lifted, and Eddie, honestly, couldn’t be happier for his best friend.

“Yeah, I’m good. Happy it all worked out. They deserve it. Especially after everything they’ve been through.”

Eddie hummed in agreement, and the two of them went back to watching the couple, a companionable silence falling between them.

“You think you’ll ever do it again?”

He whirled around to find Buck’s stare tracing the side of his face, looking pensive.

“Dance?” he asked, being deliberately obtuse to try and avoid answering.

Buck rolled his eyes, knocking their shoulders together.

“Get married.”

Something sharp twisted in Eddie’s gut at that. His heart began to pick up speed.

“U-Uh…”

Fuck.

Ever since his talk with Bobby, he had asked himself that exact question. And a couple of more terrifying questions that he still didn’t have the answers to.

Their eyes locked.

“I’m not sure. Maybe? If…if I was with the right person.”

Buck held his gaze, looking as if he wanted to say something but wasn’t sure how.

“Evan?”

They turned towards the sudden voice behind them.

“Tommy!” Buck exclaimed excitedly, leaping out of his seat and enveloping him in a hug.

Eddie regarded the two of them, realizing that this was the first time he was seeing them together now that they were together. He watched Tommy’s hand land on Buck’s hip, the other coming up to grip his shoulder, squeezing it gently, his thumb sweeping over his collarbone.

Something painful suddenly jolted again in Eddie’s stomach, making him frown in confusion. He hurried to clear his expression as Tommy began to speak.

“You look…” he trailed off, taking in Buck’s dishevelled ‘Crockett’ outfit (Eddie still insisted that he was Tubbs, but whatever), “like you had an interesting night.”

Interesting sure was one way to describe it.

As if Buck was reflecting on just how interesting the night had been, he gave a half-shrug and sheepish grin.

“Not as interesting as you saving the day by rescuing Chimney in your chopper,” he quipped, nudging his shoulder as Tommy lowered his head almost bashfully.

“I don’t know, Buckley. Seein’ you in a pastel suit, even if it is a little dirty, is pretty high up there.”

Oh, God. They’re flirting.

Not that Eddie cared, of course. He was a good friend, an ally. He wasn’t uncomfortable or anything, of course not. He just couldn’t exactly explain the almost nauseated feeling in his gut at the moment. It was probably just something he ate or, you know, the gallons of alcohol he had consumed last night.

“Hey, Eddie.”

His head shot up to meet Tommy’s eye, and he quickly schooled his face into something more pleasant.

“Hey, man,” he raised from his seat to shake his hand, smacking him on the back in a half hug.

Tommy quirked an eyebrow at him, gaze trailing up and down.

“Tubbs?” he asked with a glint in his eye.

Eddie shook his head.

“I’m Crockett, he’s Tubbs, people just refuse to acknowledge it.”

Tommy laughed as Buck let out a groan.

“I’m more like Don Johnson, Eds. Accept it.”

“You didn’t even know who Don Johnson was until I told you,” he shot back. “Just because you insisted on binge-watching Miami Vice all week, does not mean you get to—”

“I wanted to stay on theme,” Buck interjected. “Chimney wanted the '80s, so he got the ‘80s. I wanted to be authentic to the character. Like, what’s it called…method acting?”

“Uh-huh. Okay, Daniel Day-Lewis.”

He was hyperaware of Tommy staring between them, watching their exchange with something unreadable on his face, and quickly cleared his throat.

“You want a beer, Tommy? I don’t think you’ll need your wallet tonight after getting the groom back to where he belongs.”

The three of them watched Chim dip Maddie, her peels of laughter audible over the music.

“Hey, you guys found him. I just drove. Or…flew,” Tommy chuckled as they all walked along the edge of the dancefloor, towards the bar.

“So, do I get to ask what happened to you?” he gestured to Eddie’s bare chest under his suit jacket.

Buck failed to stifle a snort.

“Little…karaoke mishap,” Eddie hurried to say as if that explained anything.

Tommy merely grinned, accepting the beer handed to him with an appreciative nod.

Eddie took that opportunity to glance back onto the dancefloor, noticing that Maddie was now waving frantically at them.

“Think you’re being summoned, Buck.”

Like an overexcited puppy, Buck bounced on the balls of his feet.

“Oh, yeah! Time for the brother-sister dance!”

Eddie and Tommy levelled him with twin looks of confusion as he flushed, babbling.

“Maddie insisted on a brother-sister dance instead of a father-daughter dance. Says it’ll bring her better luck this time around.”

With that, Buck smacked a quick kiss on Tommy’s cheek that had Eddie’s mouth twisting for some reason. He then clapped him on the shoulder and bounded across the room in a flash, taking Maddie’s hand as Chim took Hen’s.

Eddie watched the siblings and pseudo-siblings dance for a moment, feeling a gentle smile replace whatever was on his face at how happy they all looked.

“So. Evan told you we were dating.”

He was spat out of his reverie by Tommy’s words and tried not to let himself visibly react.

“Uh, yeah. He did. I’m happy for him. You too.”

He watched from the corner of his eye as Tommy shifted from one foot to the other, and suddenly worried that he had somehow said the wrong thing.

“Good. I’m glad. You’re his best friend, Eddie. He needs you.”

He could hear a slight tone colouring those words, but he couldn’t figure out what it was, so instead, he commented on something that had been plaguing him for a while now.

“You call him Evan.”

There was a beat where Tommy sipped his beer, gaze tailing Buck from across the room before he replied.

“You don’t.”

It was a non-answer to a non-question.

Eddie wanted to tell him that Buck didn’t really like being called Evan. That the only people who called him that were Maddie occasionally and his parents, with whom he had a complicated relationship. He wanted to tell him that Buck preferred ‘Buck’ because it was who he was now. Who he had become over the last seven years, away from his childhood home, his parents, and the ghosts that haunted him.

But he didn’t.

Because maybe Buck liked it when Tommy called him Evan. Maybe he was the exception. And that was none of Eddie’s business.

“No, I don’t. Not often. And usually only when I really need him to hear me.”

Because, Evan…you act like you’re expendable. But you’re wrong.

Tommy hummed, taking another sip.

“Does it bother you?”

That dragged his eyes off his friend’s cheerful face, meeting Tommy’s gaze, and despite what he had just been thinking, he heard himself reply:

“Why would you calling Buck ‘Evan’ bother me?”

Something weighty passed between them as if Tommy silently asked him something he had no idea how to answer.

“Not that,” he murmured, his focus zeroing back on Buck. “Does it bother you that we’re seeing each other?”

Eddie’s mouth went dry. He took another large gulp of water, forcing down a cough.

“O-Of course it doesn’t bother me. Why would it bother me?”

He almost cringed at the note of hysteria in his voice.

Tommy nudged him.

“Relax, Eddie. I wasn’t trying to insinuate anything. I just meant that I know how close you and Evan are, and how important he is in Chris’ life. I just wanna let you know that I don’t want what me and Buck might have come between that, man. And I’d get it if you were…concerned it would.”

Eddie wasn’t sure exactly how to answer that, so he merely nudged his shoulder back.

“S’all good. Yeah, Buck is my best friend. But you’re my friend too, Tommy. I’m psyched you two are givin’ it a shot.”

He wasn’t sure why he couldn’t meet his eye when he said that. Instead, he found himself staring back out on the dancefloor just in time to see Buck and Maddie do a stumbly double twirl, their identical grins on full display, Buck’s eyes glinting bright against the disco lights.

Eddie’s stomach did another random flip that made him glad he didn’t risk the appetisers earlier.

Seriously never drinking again.

“He is a terrible dancer,” Tommy laughed at Buck’s antics as he tried and failed to rope Chim and Hen into some sort of dancing quartet.

“Oh yeah, the worst,” Eddie agreed with a chuckle. “But he tries. And although he does care what people think, sometimes a little too much, he doesn’t let that stop him. That’s what counts.”

He wasn’t just talking about Buck’s dancing, obviously, and judging by Tommy's completive hum, he understood that.

“Yeah, it does,” his voice was fond in a way that was all too familiar to Eddie when it came to Evan Buckley. “I wish I had been more like him when I first came out.”

He chanced a glance at him, tilting his head.

“What do you mean?”

Something almost sad crossed Tommy’s face.

“I mean, I was kinda an asshole about it at first, to be honest,” he shrugged, wistful. “I was dealing with a lot, the…performance of it all, you know? Locker talk and beers with the boys and Captain Gerard’s idea of what men should be. Convincing myself that what I was feeling wasn’t actually happening and forcing myself to act out what I thought it meant to be a man and all that macho bullshit. Find a girl, get married, have kids, and provide the way a man should. But I couldn't do it. And in the process of resenting myself for that, it…cost me some good friendships. Maybe a couple of potential relationships, too. But Evan? He’s accepted himself with a gentleness that he deserves. That everyone deserves.”

Despite the music, some medley of cheesy pop songs surrounding them, Eddie felt as if his head had been submerged under water, a phantom clogging in his ears that had him shaking his head as they started to ring.

His chest felt tight, his palms starting to sweat.

“Eddie? You okay?” a distant voice asked, worlds away from what he was pretty sure was the beginnings of a panic—

A strong hand landed on his shoulder gently, and he glanced up, meeting a pair of bright blue familiar eyes.

His chest loosened.

His breathing steadied.

“Yeah,” he murmured, slightly shaking fingers grasping Buck’s forearm. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Just…think I’m still a bit dehydrated, that’s all.”

He didn’t need to know Buck like the back of his hand to read that he wasn’t buying one word he had just said, but thankfully, Tommy provided a distraction.

“I believe you owe me a dance.”

Buck’s gaze flickered from Eddie to Tommy and back again before he let out a hesitant breath.

“I do.”

“Well, come on, Evan. Show me whatcha got.”

Buck glanced back to Eddie, almost as if seeking permission, which, nope, Eddie couldn’t let himself think of the implications of that.

“Go on,” he urged, plastering a smirk onto his still too stiff face. “Show him those moves, Crockett.”

Buck nodded, something still swimming in his eyes, but allowed himself to be pulled away.

Eddie stared after them as they made their way onto the dancefloor, hand in hand, their fingers linked. That same jolt in his stomach made its appearance for the umpteenth time.

I kinda can’t stop thinking about him…

That was what Buck had said that night, happiness practically radiating from him.

It had struck Eddie because, honestly, he couldn’t remember the last time his own thoughts were consumed by anyone who wasn’t his son or best—

Best friend.

Because, yeah. There were times he couldn’t stop thinking about Buck—many, many times over the years if he was being honest with himself. From grenades in legs and earthquakes to tsunamis and lawsuits to shootings and lightning strikes to everything in between, Evan Buckley had firmly taken up space in his mind—a lot. And it wasn’t just memories from the job, either.

There were drives to Chris and Carla introductions and Santa visits and skateboards and science projects and math homework and video games and movie marathons and breaking down doors and falling asleep on couches and poker nights and homemade meals and beers in kitchens and—

Suddenly, as if she were standing right beside him, he recalled what Maddie had said in her vows to Chimney a few hours earlier.

My brother once asked me what love should be. If it should be when you’re at your worst, and they’re at their worst, you have every reason to give up, and you still decide you wanna try again. I agreed with him then. And I agree with him even more now, because yeah, love is that and more, good and bad. Love is loving each other anyway…

He understood why she had included that, considering everything she and Chim had gone through over the years, but Eddie found, in that moment, a little selfishly, that he hadn’t been thinking about them. Instead, he thought about Buck and their relationship. How much they had gone through together since that first night in the back of the ambulance, and how he also agreed that, yeah, love should be that. Love should be choosing someone over and over again because you want to. Love should be seeing someone at their worst, and them at yours, and loving each other anyway.

But it hadn't occurred to him until just then that maybe not everyone thought about their best friends and their lives together during romantic wedding vows.

And that was before he had glanced up to find Buck already looking at him, from his place as Man of Honor at Maddie’s side, across from where he stood behind Hen at Chim’s. Eddie’s breath had died in his throat, unable to look away as Buck’s bright blue eyes locked on his while his sister talked about what true love meant, and how she had found her perfect partner in it.

You can have my back any day. Yeah, or you know, you could have mine.

He was startled back to the present as Buck let go of Tommy’s hand and whirled back around, clapping Eddie on the shoulder, leaning down, his breath ghosting over his ear in a way that had him suppressing a shiver.

“Go ask Marisol for a dance, Romeo.”

But I wanna dance with you.

The sudden thought had his breath hitching in his throat.

God knew they had danced like idiots only the night before during karaoke, but this was different. This was slow dancing at a formal event, in front of all of Buck’s family and friends.

I don’t care. I wanna dance with him.

Frowning at whatever he saw on Eddie’s face, Buck nodded towards Marisol, who stood off to the side with Christopher, Denny, and Karen. He gave his shoulder one last squeeze, right where it met his neck, his thumb lightly brushing his skin, before following Tommy.

Eddie stilled, watching him go, and felt something heavy and unnameable sink in his chest.

“Can I have this dance?”

He was ashamed to admit that the sudden appearance of Marisol at his side had him startled, but he recovered.

“Sure.”

They weaved their way in and out of the gathering couples. He clocked Bobby and Athena, Hen and Karen and, of course, Chim and Maddie as he passed, but he carefully kept his eyes from searching the room for anyone else.

Once they found a free spot, Eddie placed one hand over Marisol’s and clutched her waist with the other, leading slowly. He caught her eye for a brief, half-hearted smile before his gaze wandered aimlessly around the room.

The song was familiar, its melody soft, and its voice recognisable. Springsteen. A cover? It was definitely something he had heard in bars back in Texas, and could see Maddie and Chim singing together at karaoke.

🎵 Now you can dance every dance with the guy who gives you the eye, let him hold you tight. And you can smile every smile for the man who held your hand beneath the pale moonlight…🎵

A pastel blur waved in front of him, almost directly opposite where he and Marisol were.

There he was.

His best friend.

Buck was swaying in Tommy’s arms, his hands resting on his shoulders, lips upturned in a small, private smile.

Eddie’s heart did a somersault in his chest.

🎵 But don’t forget, who’s takin’ you home and in whose arms you’re gonna be. So darlin’, save the last dance for me… 🎵

Blue eyes met brown from across the dancefloor.

The pink and purple lights cast Buck in a soft, warm hue, shadows washing across his face as the lyrics whirled around them.

🎵 Oh, I know that the music’s fine like sparklin’ wine, go and have your fun. Laugh and sing, but while we’re apart, don’t give your heart to anyone… 🎵

Eddie fought not to clench his hands, distantly aware of Marisol, but unable to look away from Buck, who was still staring at him from over Tommy’s shoulder, something he couldn't decipher etched across every inch of him.

🎵 Baby, don’t you know, I love you so, can’t you feel it when we touch, I will never, never let you go… 🎵

He watched as Buck stumbled a little, their eye contact breaking abruptly as he hurried to apologize to Tommy. Eddie wanted to take that moment to look away, focus anywhere else—on his date, ideally—but he couldn’t. His gaze stayed glued to Buck, only half paying attention to his own movements, just enough to have some semblance of dancing, and just when he was going to forcibly drag his eyes away…

Buck looked back up.

Their eyes locked.

🎵 You can dance, go and carry on, ‘til the night is gone and it’s time to go. If he asks if you’re all alone, can he walk you home, you must tell him no… 🎵

Eddie felt his heart hammer in his chest, his throat go dry, a stinging welling behind his eyes.

🎵 ‘Cause don’t forget who’s takin’ you home and in whose arms you’re gonna be. Oh darlin’, save the last dance for me… 🎵

Oh. Well, there's the answer to one terrifying question.

The same question, if he were being truly honest with himself, that had first echoed in the back of his mind as he lay bleeding out on the street. Or maybe even buried underground while running out of air.

The last few bars faded out as all of the air felt like it had been sucked out of the room, suspending them in time. All he could see was Buck. Evan Buckley, his best friend in the whole world, staring back at him as if…as if he…

“—ddie?”

“Hmm?”

His eyes snapped down to Marisol, who was gently tapping the back of his neck.

“You with me?”

He swallowed the lump in his throat, nodding shakily.

“Yeah, yeah, I-I'm with...uh, sorry, I think the hangover is goin’ for round two.”

He almost cringed at the lame excuse, but it was all his addled brain could come up with, distantly aware that the music had changed to something fast and upbeat and altogether young in a way that made him feel very, very old.

“I…uh…I’m gonna go get a drink. Hair of the dog and all that. You want one?”

Before she could respond, he turned on his heel and high-tailed it off the dancefloor.

Tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone.

Eddie had told that to Chim once. And now, he was dancing at his wedding.

Gonna follow your own advice, Diaz?

Violently shaking his head, he tried to rid himself of his very, very, inconvenient and dangerous thoughts, dodging in and out of people, his chest heaving. He only made it halfway to the bar before he heard a familiar clacking of crutches, and suddenly, a small hand tugged at his.

“Dad!” Christopher yelled over the music. “You gotta see this. Denny’s gonna do The Worm.”

Eddie froze in his tracks, snapping his eyes shut for a beat to calm himself before slowly turning to meet his son, hoping his face seemed normal.

Because the thing was, this didn’t feel like a panic attack. Not really. When he took a second to think about it, he realized it was true. Yes, the racing heart was there, the sweating palms, and the spiralling thoughts, but the actual panic? The godawful, icy fear in his veins that he had felt when Ana had been mistaken for his wife? No. That was conspicuously absent. So he wasn’t panicking. He wasn’t freaking out at the sharp turn his brain had taken when thinking about Buck.

Because it wasn’t sharp at all.

His heart had gotten there long ago. And had paved the way.

Be sure you’re following your heart…

That was what Carla had said to him. Years ago now.

...shit. Has everyone seen it before me?

Because yeah. This was a revelation.

An epiphany.

The final puzzle piece slotting into place and showing him the full picture for the very first time.

The picture that they made. He and Christopher and Buck. Their little family of three. He and Buck, having each other’s backs from almost day one, being partners in nearly every sense of the word, trying and sometimes failing together and loving each other anyway.

Except that last puzzle piece also told him that that love? Yeah. It was more than someone should feel for their best friend.

Shit.

“I didn’t think people still did The Worm,” he forced out a reply, relieved when his voice came out relatively fine.

“It was a very brief trend on TikTok,” Buck appeared beside them. “Brought it to a whole new generation. Chris showed him last week.”

Eddie took a breath, allowing his new, full, completed puzzle to settle into his chest, his heart, before narrowing his eyes at him.

“But Christopher isn’t allowed on TikTok.”

A blush rose to Buck’s cheeks as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Eddie’s stomach swooped. By now he'd stopped counting.

“No. But I am. And he may have been scrolling through my For You page. But I promise it’s all puppy videos and silly dances, Eds.”

He hummed at that as Chris let out another groan, impatiently tugging on his arm and nudging Buck forward.

“Come on, I don’t wanna miss it!”

Resigned to their fate, the three of them made their way back out onto the dancefloor where a small crowd was gathering.