Be like Fluttershy.
Be tiny but fierce, big-pegasus-style and stake that claim.
"It is a common practice among modern pegasi- and it is thought, alicorns- to express interest in a potential romantic partner through an ancient act known as 'feather-marking'. In this, the pegasus slowly passes by their chosen partner, ruffling their wings. This ruffling of their feathers releases tiny magical particulate from glands along the radius and ulna. These 'scent-markers' are easily detectable by other pegasi and indicate the pegasus' claim upon the potential mate. This act is followed up with a sharp smack across their target's flanks, giving them a concentrated dose of their scent to ward off any potential rivals."
-Sir Attenbirdo, 'The Gryphonia Royal Guide To Avian Equine"
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My wife tried to name a cat "Stretch Nuts" on our Minecraft realm, and of course it got censored....
This makes me want to adopt a cat in real life, name them "Stretch Nuts" and buy them a little collar that says "Stretch Nuts - because fuck you, microsoft"
UPDATE:
To quote my wife "I never said I wasn't petty."
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What do you get for your spouse on Hearts N' Hooves Day when all they want is you?
Queen Twilight has got ya covered. Queen Chrysalis Sparkle awakens to what promises to be a very happy, healthy and busy Hearts N' Hooves Day. Happy Hearts N' Hooves Day to all y'all out there, Pony Queen, Big Mama Bughorse or whatever ya got.
The Eternal Courtship. Love never dies. It only changes form. 💜💚🐞🐎💚💜
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If you're a parent you know. The struggle is real. 😂😉
Chrysalis froze, the passionate moment brought to a screeching halt. She stared in exasperation at the bright-eyed smile of the larvae hanging off her horn. For her part, Twilight struggled to contain her sputtering laughter. The changeling queen gave a resolute sigh. "I'm re-considering your pony notion of naming all of our larvae, Lilac. Perhaps we'll call this little one 'Birth Control'..."
"Chrysalis!" Twilight playfully slapped at her wife's barrel.
"Blocker... Moodkiller..."
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With a gust of green flame Queen Chrysalis Sparkle appeared in the disaster-zone that was the West Tower royal laboratory of her wife. "Twilight? I-"
"Honeybug! Thank you for coming home early."
A wide-eyed Queen Twilight cautiously prodded at the hissing spider with a pair of tongs. It lunged and snapped at them with its chelicerae. It backed away from her, it's forelimbs raised in a threatening pose. As it sideled sideways, looking for an opening in Twilight's defenses she maneuvered the tongs like a shield.
A concerned Chrysalis regarded the scene with a raised eyebrow. "That is a Green Widow."
Twilight continued her defensive dance with the irate arachnid. "Correct!"
Chrysalis looked from the hissing creature to Twilight and back. "And why is it here in your laboratory with it's acidic spittle and venomous bite which could even kill an alicorn, like my wife?" Her horn crackled with a whisp of green flame. She drew close to her pony wife, ready to interpose herself.
"I know you're concerned, honeybug." Twilight quickly attempted to reassure her. "I'm fine- WOOP!" She ducked as a thin spray of grey mist shot past her shoulder. It's impact left a smoking buckshot pattern on the nearby bookshelf.
Chrysalis pursed her lips, her fangs scraping against the chitin in worry. "I see." In a gust of green changeling flames she created an invisible shield around Twilight.
"The potency of the green widow's venom is legendary and it's precisely why this one is here. Green widow bites in the Whitetail woods are rare but they have a very high mortality rate. I need to retrieve a sample of its venom to continue our local hospital's research into developing a viable antivenom. This little fellow was volunteered by our local wildlife wranglers for the process. Normally Fluttershy would be handling this but she's come down with the ponypox."
The spider kicked a few of the broken tongue depressors out of its way. With an angry chomp it hefted up the tattered remains of a plush doll, made to resemble the buttercream pegasus and flung it at Twilight. "I'm afraid this little fellah is not in any mood to cooperate."
"Why do you have a little plushie of her?"
"Discord left it here after our last tea-time." She traded knowing eyes with her wife and shrugged. "I didn't ask. Anyways, I was hoping you could help with this moody little guy, with your people's knowledge of the creatures of the deep woods, I theorized you might have an insight to its behavior or at least be able to hypnotize it momentarily."
Chrysalis chuckled. "I'm so glad you had the good sense to ask for my help." She kissed her wife's horn and gave it a playful nip with her fangs. "But mesmerizing it with my enchanting gaze won't be necessary, beloved."
Chrysalis turned to the spider and made a series of clicks and whispered hisses. The furious arachnid set down the beaker it had hefted overhead, prepared to hurl at Twilight. The two hissed and spat back and forth for a moment as Twilight watched in wide-eyed surprise. They were communicating. She was still learning just how helpful it was to have a wife who had literally been almost every species of creature in the world.
"You speak its language?" Her brow furrowed. "It has a language?"
The creature angrily stomped it's forelimbs as Chrysalis nodded. Occasionally it pointed at Twilight and made a particularly disgusted sound, slapping its pedipalps together.
Chrysalis sighed. "Yes. Of a sort. Most sapient beings do." There was a slight tinge of irritation to her words.
"Chrysalis!" Twilight used her magic to retrieve a pencil and note tablet from a nearby desk, excited to record this new knowledge. "This is incredible! Equestrian science knows so little about the green widow!" She hadn't even considered this discovery. "Ooooo! What did it say?"
"Well, for starters, Her name is Miss Mugglywumpus. She does not appreciate being snatched from her burrow and she is very offended by your eyelashes."
Twilight blinked. "My… eyelashes?" The spider hissed and reared up again.
"Yes." Chrysalis looked back to the angry spider. "You've been fluttering them at her in a very rude threat display."
Twilight lifted a tiny mirror to examine herself, suddenly very self-conscious. Normally she was very proud of the inky black cilia which framed her almond-shaped violet eyes. Chrysalis often complimented her on their "come-hither" quality. She supposed they might resemble antennae or some other form of limb to the right perspective.
Her changeling wife continued. "Not only that but your aggressive blinking has been signaling very crass remarks about her hygiene, the size of her abdomen and capacity to spawn a respectably-sized brood."
"I WHAT?!"
Chrysalis motioned to the creature with her serpentine eyes. It glared up at Twilight with all 8 of its crimson peepers. Fangs glistening, forelimbs folded across it's thorax. If there was any expression in a spider's body-language which might indicate it had been the recipient of a potent yo-mama slam, this looked to be about right.
Twilight gave a dejected sigh as Chrysalis placed a consoling hoof across her withers.
She had expected today to be quite eventful. However, as Rainbow Dash might say, she did not have 'sparking a first-contact disaster with her face' on her bingo card today.
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