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inkskinned · 9 months

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you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

#writeblr #this is a mashup of like 3 dates i accidentally went on lol #by that i mean that i was out with a woman on a date in 2 of these situations #and a man just. joined us. and we were too awkward to say anything while he tried to ''date'' me #& one was a longterm friend that i was like. you what????#like he's nice he's a doctor and my mom was SO happy she was like raquel think about it #''it's a perfect love story you grew up together and reconnected as adults and like the same things and he's friends with ur brother #and his sister is one of ur close friends!!!''#yes but alas. he is a boy . she only likes girls. can i make it any more obvious #anyway im tryna write about like the force of male attention being actually incredibly ingrained to women like we are SUPPOSED to like it #it's seen as the only important thing #even if ur gay #and it's a nuanced thing idk #and while rn i i.d. as lesbian #like .... it wouldn't be UNTRUE to say i am probably like ''cusp bisexual'' bc i CAN experience attraction to men bc like .#sexuality is fluid...#don't tell straight ppl tho bc they do not understand the concept that ppl don't necessarily need a solid everlasting label #they're like GET in the BOX #if ur gay & in boston i'm 30 and pretty please come kiss me.#(i usually only date older ppl sorry in advance tho)

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betweendyingstars · 11 months

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Artist Regulus painting his lovers

This is a DTIYS I’m hosting on instagram to celebrate 1k, so if you’d like to join go find me on there!

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 7 months

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Fishing Interlude

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan sizhui #lan jingyi #ONE HUNDERED (+6 bonus) COMICS BABY!!!! WE MADE IT!#There's still at least 200 more to go at the rate I'm going but still! Triple digits for a comic project feels worth celebrating.#I'm no stranger to setting myself on projects but this is certainly the most adventurous and long-term one I've undertaken.#The aim was to be done by the end of September (whoops (I also took a few breaks to post other stuff)) But I'm still having fun!#Thank you all so much for joining me on this journey! I have a celebration announcement tomorrow!#Sorry this one doesn't really feel like a 'comic 100'. It's sandwiched between two comics that were supposed to be 'comic 100'...#I love how excited Jingyi is to be in the garden. And I will never miss an opportunity to have them fish.#Slowly...I am setting up my punchline with all this. I promise it's leading somewhere.#Lan Sizhui didn't fit into the frame for panel 3 so I like to think he dove in after a fish #Afterall that's were lan zhan is in this comic. Under the water. Hunting. LSZ is just following what his mentor taught him.#Sorry I broke Jingyi's characterization for this punchline. He's one of the biggest wangxian shippers in canon. But fishing comes first.

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skitskatdacat63 · 8 months

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2009 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix - Sebastian Vettel(ft. Mark Webber & Jenson Button)

#fantastic podium!! maybe my favorite of this season?????#sebmarkson podiums are my fav ever nothing can top them #and both mark and jense were being so cute with seb this race aaaahhhhhhh <333333 #theres something about seb that makes older men want to cuddle him and pick him up and pour champagne on him #haha thank you to dru for showing me seb getting drenched on this podium a few weeks and making me hype for this race!!#this race was very very good as well. like the last laps battle btwn mark and jense was insane #its very good when i already know the results of a race but the racing still makes me sit on the edge of my seat and scream a bit #i mentioned this before but i love how this race felt like an epilogue and it was nice to see everyone having fun and enjoying themseles #thank you everybody for joining me on another season journey!!! it been so much fun. ive really really enjoyed 2009 #brawn is just soooooo cool to me. their story is insane!! im glad ive gotten to watch thru this season before the docu abt them comes out #but also very fun to see the beginning of rbr getting to the top of the field. every good result just felt so rewarding and worth it #anyways dont wanna do too much commentary abt it since ive discussed it a lot. onto 2010 next!!!! i shall miss you 2009 #though i will say. it was rly interesting in this race to hear their team predictions for next season bcs a lot of it doesnt pan out #mark webber #jenson button #sebastian vettel #sebson #martian #sebmark #f1 #formula 1 #formula one #we do a little bit of f1 #2009 abu dhabi gp

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lokh · 8 months

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mom avoids dead anime mom curse because he transitions. he’s always had a complicated relationship with pregnancy because of how woefully little people are told about potential complications and aftercare, and also because of how gendered it is, so after the birth of his second child he’s finally had it and decides to transition

he joins a local community group for mothers and at first it’s played for laughs how often they fall to the dead mom curse, but soon we find out more about how society has failed mothers and people who give birth, from information being withheld, procedures being carried out without consent, lack of accommodations and maternal and paternal leave, racism…

it also turns out that becoming a man doesn’t help with this, not really, because being a pregnant trans man brings its own problems. follow along as he learns more about being a parent and a mother, and maybe even… finding love???

coming to you never because I can’t write!

#if the japanese is bad. MY BAD LMAO #this was also a joke for me at first but then i was like well hang on.....#my initial romance thought was his husband leaves him after the transition and eventually a new single father ends up joining the group #cos he like. idk misread the flyer as being a new parents group but the group accepts him with open arms #and hes drawn to the only other guy there and well u know wink wonk.#then i thought well come on thats not. very nice rip what if his husband sticks with him.#but thats why u have more than one trans guy LMAO so it doesnt become bad tokenism!!!!#the older kid also has a complicated relationship with his mom transitioning tbh #art #wow original art from me... ummm.#he also wears glasses but not all the time #GRAPHIC DESIGN IS (NOT) MY PASSION!!!!!#I WANT YOU TO KNOW IF THIS WOULD EVER BE WRITTEN IT WOULD BE GROUNDBREAKING INCREDIBLE.#but it wont because one that would imply that i finish writing anything ever.#two it would require so so much reading. which you should be doing you should be researching.#but the point is there would be a lot because i would think 'oh it had to be perfect' and then would never do it. on top of already #never finishing anything..................#ocs

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floweryred · 4 months

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Remember how in Empires season 2 Joel and Sausage had a son together and that wasn’t even the gayest part of that storyline.

#the gayest part was that they kept talking about giving each other hard wood and stuff #incase you were wondering #joel smallishbeans #mythicalsausage #smallishbeans #empires smp #empires s2 #I love Hermes #I like how Sausage resisted the jokes for a little bit before eventually joining in #oh empires please come back #we all miss you

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the-knife-consumer · 10 months

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The weirdest thing in totk so far has been finding out that there was an intended method of finding mineru where you were supposed to get hints steadily on who the fifth sage was and you weren't supposed to just force your way through zero visibility thunderstorms for the sake of exploring and then getting jumpscared by a talking construct head and realizing you just triggered a major plot centric quest early to mid game with only two other sages

#just. purah being like. link you wont believe this but theres a FIFTH sage 😮#and um. you mean mineru my friend mineru #i built her body and then once i found out there was COMBAT i had to do with her i left immediately #bc i was under the impression that she couldnt fight unless you were controlling her. and i sucked at controlling her #so she did end up joining me last as the game inteded her to. but i had her body assembled for a bulk of my game time #like. you cant just put a giant island chain constantly shrouded by thunderstorms in plain sight and expect me to #NOT make a beeline to it. come on.#but i thought about it and the stubling across her on accident was sooo much better then what they wanted me to do #just felt more special and mysterious #totk spoilers

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demonic-shadowlucifer · 6 months

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yes, we shouldn't ignore the terrible events going on right now (Palestine, Sudan, etc), but I think we need some reminders because some of the posts i've been reading have been giving off *extremely* guilt-trippy vibes: Not posting about current events or bad things =/= not caring. Not reblogging =/= not caring. Adding "don't scroll past this" or "reblog this or block me" to posts is guilt-trippy as hell. And lastly, online activism is not the only form of activism.

#palestine #free palestine #sudan #armenia #ukraine #russo ukrainian war #yemen #congo #just some of what came to mind #sorry but those “i dont get why everyones posting about good things while this bad thing is happening” posts piss me off a lot #because... how do you know they're unaware of the bad events?#how do you know they don't care?#maybe they've donated to pro-palestinian organizations or went to pro-palestine rallies #maybe they're currently checking on their armenian and yemeni friends #i could go on #i am sorry but not everyone has to make a social media post in order to be an activist #in fact i feel like posting about it isn't making a direct difference (and it does come off as preformative)#donating and calling senators and joining protests and boycotts make much bigger differences then posting on social media imo #guilt tripping will be blocked immediately #consider this post a checkpoint in a way #EDIT 4.0: reblogs are back on again.

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imthursdaysyme · 3 months

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I think Itd be funny if Steve accidentally became obsessed with puzzles but won't admit it the same way dads watch shows by standing off to the side. robin has them out and he complains but she finds him 2hrs later still standing doing puzzles and he's like a caught raccoon

#stranger things #steve harrington #robin buckley #listen I just think it would be so funny #man is like uh no I don't do puzzles but also completely unrelated there's the piece you're looking for #constantly hovering and pretending he's not #robin loosing her shit like istg come sit and join me or leave #and he's like god FINE IF YOU INSIST #and she's like bro I said or leave too #and he's like WOE IS ME- ROBERTO FORCING ME TO SIT AND FO THE PUZZLE WOTH HER #and she's like Steve pls stop #I AM BEING DETAINED AGAINST MY W—#Steve would you stop yell—#—FORCED INTO MATRIARCHAL TYRANNY FORCUNG ME—#—esteban stop taking all the pieces-#I AM SHACKLED AND CH—#Steve how are you taking so many pieces wait stop how are you so fast—#BOUND TO THE WOODEN CHAIR AND COLORFUL GRANDMA ACTIVITIES WITH—#Steve please let me do half stop—#NO ONE TO SAVE ME #Steve how did you do it that fast wait stop you finished it what are you—#I MUST NOW TAKE RANSOM—#steve put it down—#TO HOLD MY CAPTIVE ACCOUNTA—#—steve please where are you taking the puzzle and how are you holding it without break—whERE ARE YOU GOING???#I WILL BE FREE OF MY CHAI— oh haha hey jon no i’m not doing anything strange no nance i’m just chilling—#YOU HAVE BEEN YELLING AND MONOLOGUEING FOR THE PAST THIRTY MI UTES LIKE A THEATER KID WHAT DO U MEAN CHILLING #i was doing nOTHING of the sort—#oh god he was doing the acting thing again with the medival imagery thing wasn’t he #nancy pls tell me he hasnt done this to you— oh god steve what is wrong with you

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shy-forceghost · 25 days

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One thing that I love about the bar conversation scene and Bea's "I did not say that!" about being royalty is that it implies that by that point Ava and Beatrice have already had a more detailed conversation about Bea's uppriggning. Not only that, but that it was such a lighthearted conversation so that Ava can freely mention it during a moment when they are both having fun and not worry about Bea's mood changing.

No heavy feelings, no fear of breaking the joy bubble. Just another anecdote to laugh about.

#I can imagine Ava making all kind of jokes to make the conversation a little lighter for Bea #partially - the other part is just because she's Ava haha #and Bea joining her because her past might be hard - but sharing it with Ava is easy #and I also love that the whole 'you said it [you are royalty]' more likely comes from a misunderstanding #and that makes me curious about what Bea could've said that lead to that #ava silva #warrior nun #sister beatrice

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lulu-draws-stuff · 7 days

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This was gonna be a comic, but I wasn't having fun drawing it, so I scrapped it

You get the cover and outfits section

#art #illustration #fanart #psychonauts #razputin aquato #lili zanotto #sasha nein #milla vodello #raz psychonauts #lili psychonauts #sasha psychonauts #milla psychonauts #outfits #the idea was that Sasha and Milla get assigned to investigate reports of strange psychic happenings at a mall #and Raz hears about it and begs to come along. and Lili's says she's coming if Raz is #and it's likely not very serious so they're allowed as long as they stay out of trouble #but Raz keeps wanting to look at everything and go into all the stores #Lili gets bored that they're not finding anything and joins in Raz's wanting to actually do things #and she sorta convinces Milla as well. by guilt tripping her about how Raz hasn't been to a mall before and so he's never seen any of it #so Sasha's left as the only one taking the mission seriously #also they've got different outfits (other than the ones in the outfits section) so you can tell it's a different time than in the games #I think probably a month or so post psychonauts 2

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bruhstation · 6 months

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a few days ago, I revived my years old hyperfixation. so what better way to keep it in memory than to make an AU based on it with my current special interest <-- has happened several times before

I present to you all: ttte atla AU! set in an era (or rather alternate universe) where the hundred year war didn't happen, the air nomads are still around, and the main conflict -- though it still came from the same source which is the fire nation -- is different now; which is a crazed nonbender scientist from the fire nation with a strong dislike for bending arts and having his own army of technology-boosted soldiers

#thomas the tank engine #thomas and friends #ttte lady #ttte thomas #ttte percy #ttte edward #ttte james #ttte henry #ttte gordon #ttte atla au #senjart #yeah the crazed nonbender is definitely diesel 10 #I'll draw toby and duck and others someday.... just wanna get these quick sketches out of my system #ahhhhh avatar. one of the greatest shows of all time #did you know that drawing dynamic poses is hard (laugh track)#anyways here comes my latest obsession.... hitting fast and hard like a truck!!!!!!#all of these characters joining one by one (sans thomas percy edward) are like:#''leave your country'' ''why'' ''join team avatar''#also in this AU the rws trio used to attend ba sing se university in their youth and were close friends #then they had a huge fight and went separate ways. here comes lady and co bringing them all together without them wanting it (laugh #and james joined team avatar after they witnessed the convoluted ember island theatre play #and he's like Woah the avatar's here? You should let ME join your troupe #that's all for now..... I have info on other characters but my back hurts too much ouchie ow ow #hope you enjoy seeing the cstm ensemble again after weeks of TUGS posting #(they have a role in the AU as well but that's a story for another day)

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torra-and-the-toons · 16 days

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Some notes on Nigel from my modern adult AU, where all their adventures were just them playing pretend as kids and now they're grown up.

I always liked the cancer theory for Nigel, so I went with that. (what can I say, I love angst...) He left because the US healthcare system is a joke.

I made this for outfits, but it kinda just evolved into random notes.

#torras art #codename kids next door #knd #modern adult au #nigel uno #a reminder that if this au isn't your cup of tea you don't have to interact with it #idk if or when I'll do the others #everyone's would be different I would not draw everyone in their undies I only did so with Nigel to show how scrawny and sickly he looks #don't worry he's slowly gaining the weight back #I hc that he also just has a high metabolism in general #one of those guys who can just pack away 40billion calories like it's nothing #I looked up so many things on cancer just to make sure I wasn't spewing nonsense that google probably thinks I have cancer now #also he's had cancer since he was like 7... before he even joined the KND #he blamed his hair loss on the DCFDTL and they rolled with it because they just wanted to be included in their pretend game #even if they were the bad guys #his cancer went into remission for a while but started to come back towards the end of the series

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skitskatdacat63 · 7 months

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Fernando Chair Lore: 2013 edition(no lore, just pics haha):