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yurislotusgarden · 7 months

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Relationship hc's

ʚїɞ Dazai Osamu x Gn!Reader

ʚїɞ Keep in mind English is not my first language, so you may find mistakes!

ʚїɞ This is just part 1 as I'm gonna write hc's like this for more characters

ʚїɞ word count: 1581

ʚїɞ why are hc's the longest thing I have written yet?

ʚїɞ Tw's: None! Just pure fluff, pet names are used, reader's gender is not specified in any way

ཐིཋྀ Our local clingy cockroach mf

ཐིཋྀ He always tries to be touching you

ཐིཋྀ Holding hands or pinkies, side hugs, back hugs (he won't miss a chance of burying his face into your hair, shoulder, or neck) <3

ཐིཋྀ Speaking of neck kisses. He loves them (both giving and receiving), especially if you jump at the feeling or are ticklish there

ཐིཋྀ Protective. Not to the point of it being overprotective but it’s very easy to see this man would die for you if he had to he very much has to stop himself from going back to his old ways when someone even tries to hurt you. Even worse if it’s done directly in front of him

ཐིཋྀ He’s possessive but not to a point where it’s overbearing or controlling. He just doesn’t wanna lose you

ཐིཋྀ If you work at the agency there's no peace for you :)

ཐིཋྀ He tries to get your attention by doing absolutely ANYTHING

ཐིཋྀ Man doesn't let you do paperwork. Stealing pens or the papers themselves, moving your chair randomly, and forget about ignoring his antics unless you wanna deal with his whining

ཐིཋྀ "I'm dying 'donna!" "I'm gonna die if I don't get it" <--- Dazai whining loudly while either lying down on the couch, floor, or on his desk

ཐིཋྀ "I'm working Osamu" <--- You, who’s been listening to that for the past 20 minutes

ཐིཋྀ You would be able to ignore him longer if the brunette didn't straight up pick you up from your seat and move you over to his desk to put you on his lap

ཐིཋྀ The whining stopping and him actually doing something can go from not waiting and picking you up, which would be like 2 minutes to like 20 minutes, to literally dragging you out of the agency.

ཐིཋྀ Good luck getting up from his lap or when cuddling because this man has a grip of steel

ཐིཋྀ If you don’t work at the agency and are a civilian, the agency would find out about you 2 being together… at some point

ཐིཋྀ You guys would wait a few months to see if the relationship has a chance of lasting and once yall are sure the other ain’t going anywhere not directed at Dazai I swear, Dazai would come up with some way to reveal it in a way that leaves the ada confused as hell and you 2 laughing

ཐིཋྀ It would be probably one out of these 3:

ཐིཋྀ The first option, randomly seeing you out in the city while he’s walking with someone and coming up to flirt with you in Dazai style TM

ཐིཋྀ He probably would do it while he’s out with Kunikida and Atsushi ;-;

ཐིཋྀ I swear Kunikida would get an aneurysm and Atsushi would change into a statue the moment they process your words

ཐིཋྀ Like the moment you say that you’re dating Dazai and aren’t some unfortunate soul who the brunette decided to flirt with, Kunikida is down on the sidewalk and Atsushi looks like someone told him he’s an alien so well the poor boy believed them

ཐིཋྀ The ada asked you if Dazai pays you or if you’re held hostage by Dazai because they can’t believe someone is willingly dating the bandage-wasting machine

ཐིཋྀ “Blink twice fast right now if you’re in danger” ←- definitely not Yosano

ཐིཋྀ “Hey!” ←- and totally not playfully offended Dazai

ཐིཋྀ The second option, updating personal/employee files (2 possibilities here)

ཐིཋྀ It really depends on how long was the relationship hidden, and whether yall are just dating or got goddamn married by the time either of those 2 possibilities (I am not putting getting married in secret past this guy)

ཐིཋྀ One possibility would be the emergency number

ཐིཋྀ Dazai getting hurt happens, and every time the injury is on the more serious side, Kunikida has to look if there’s an emergency contact in the files knowing Dazai has barely anything written on the paper, so imagine his shock upon seeing a number being actually written down

ཐིཋྀ When did Dazai do it? Poor Kunikida has no idea but it’s there now so he’s calling (he perfectly knows it can be another prank and the number may lead to a pizza place or something)

ཐིཋྀ So you got called (Kunikida had to take a minute to realize Dazai’s got an actual emergency number now) and then came to the agency in a hurry, per Kunikida’s request

ཐིཋྀ They probably wouldn’t ask who you are to Dazai at first, after seeing you worried. But after that when Yosano told you his condition and you calmed down? Bombarded with questions. Dazai aint getting out of them either after waking up

ཐིཋྀ And the third option, Kunikida going through employee files and seeing Dazai has ‘married’ on the marital status-

ཐིཋྀ So here would be the typical “There’s no way *you* are married”. Dazai would, of course, act offended because “What do you mean no one would want to marry me Kunikida-kun?!” and would either show his ring and call you to come to the agency or only show his ring to others and leave them in mystery for some time

ཐིཋྀ Jesus, I went off track, this was meant to be relationship hcs (may write one of the 3 ideas tho)

ཐིཋྀ Anyway

ཐིཋྀ He’s so soft and careful with you because he thinks he will scare you away (he won’t) :(

ཐིཋྀ He WILL take you to Oda’s grave at one point, as well as tell you about his past, even if not everything, you still know more than most people

ཐིཋྀ If Dazai’s not at the agency when he’s supposed to and you want to find him? The best option is to look wherever his little ‘bella is! He’s most likely with you (read: clinging onto you like a koala)

ཐིཋྀ Wearing anything of his is an invitation to touch you in his eyes

ཐིཋྀ Whether he steals your clothes depends simply on whether they fit him (even if tight) or not

ཐིཋྀ PLEASE wear his clothes, and do domestic shit with him. He’s falling in love all over again every time. He literally melts inside

ཐིཋྀ I don’t think it depends on when you met dazai, you know Chuuya in some damn way. If you met while he was in the mafia then knowing Chuuya is obvious if talking about how, but after Dazai left the PM, it depends on whether you work at the agency or not

ཐིཋྀ If you’re a civilian, it was most likely a chance meeting, like while you and Dazai were out on a date, or randomly out of the apartment/house for like shopping or something

ཐིཋྀ If you work at the agency, really possible it was because of a mission

ཐིཋྀ Changing the topic, I wouldn’t let this guy into the kitchen let me tell you. Unless you want something to be on fire (he once burned water and it was the most confusing thing you have ever seen. You both still just don’t know how he managed to achieve that but you never again let him cook when you’re not in the kitchen for even a minute)

ཐིཋྀ Use his shampoo and/or body wash and then proceed to wear anything of his, I dare you. You will have a Dazai-looking puddle on the floor the minute he realizes what you did

ཐིཋྀ I was about to write jealousy hcs but with how many ideas I have on that topic, I will just write another post for that

ཐིཋྀ Remember his look from Dead Apple? He saved that suit and that’s how he looks on some of the dates -the ones paid for with Kunikida’s money-

ཐིཋྀ On the other hand, most dates etc. are really casual and cute. A picnic in a more isolated place, sitting there until the stars come out, mini dates to cafes, library, arcade, or even just a peaceful walk around, during the day and at night under the night sky

ཐིཋྀ Yes, he buys you flowers, there’s no schedule whatsoever, so you can never fully predict when he is going to have a bouquet in his hands or not when visiting

ཐིཋྀ If you’re a foreigner, he’s so learning your mother tongue to some degree (depends how hard it is but probably will end up quite fluent in it after some time)

ཐིཋྀ He can shit-talk people even more with that, and he wants to flirt with you in your own language at one point

ཐིཋྀ“You’re so pretty ‘samu”

“‘bella, Japanese or another language I can understand please”

“But I like this more than a normal conversation tho”

“...I’m pretty sure you just disagreed”

“Maybe I did, pretty boy”

“I’m confused. You are either cussing me out or complimenting me.”

“And you shall stay in mystery forever.”

“‘donna!”

ཐིཋྀ ^ One of the convos yall had before he started learning (if it’s a language he doesn’t already know)

ཐིཋྀ You wanted to confuse him to have tease material for later

ཐིཋྀ You succeeded

ཐིཋྀ I hc that he and Chuuya learned different languages from Kouyou for work so get ready to be flirted with in a language you don’t understand most likely

ཐིཋྀ Kisses are either really damn soft that make you melt or are greedy ones that make you want more. No in-between with this mf

He very much uses the needy kisses to tease and/or frustrate you

ཐིཋྀ He loves you I swear, you will never notice just how much he does. When he says you are his reason as to why he’s still alive he very much means that :(

ཐིཋྀ Speaking of, the suicide attempts get rarer with the passing days. They happen, but not as much anymore <3

Notes, comments, reblogs are greatly appreciated <3

#srs why is this the longest thing #i love this tho #I said I'm gonna post more and I will #bsd x reader #bsd #bsd x gender neutral reader #bsd x y/n #bsd x you #bsd dazai #bungo stray dogs #dazai osamu #dazai x reader #dazai x y/n #x reader

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daz4i · 7 months

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i think this is the most genuine emotion we've seen from nikolai ever. and the fact he seems unsure about how he's feeling, how it's seemingly contradicting, imo works really well with his character

he's all about saying things that contradict each other and imo, there is always some truth to both sides of what he says

so. here. i think some part of him was happy to be free of his only bond... but then it got overtaken with the part of him that realizes this bond wasn't. like. as constricting as he first thought

it seems that at the end of it all he somehow even WANTED to get that bond running deeper. imo, it was to feed both sides of him - the side that wants to be free can't actually prove his free will if they weren't that close in the first place, they barely interacted before, it's almost like killing any other person. on the other hand, he also genuinely likes fyodor and wants to be closer bc well. he is "perfectly sane". he is, underneath it all, still a person deep down, as much as he might hate that.

when fyodor threatens to take him out in the future he doesn't seem scared, but he also doesn't seem particularly excited i think? (or maybe that's just how he expresses his genuine, non-performative excitement, who knows.) at the same time, he also doesn't seem to want to kill him now, to follow him, like he's keeping it for that new game he was just promised

but then fyodor dies. and he won't get a chance to play it. and in a way, that takes from his freedom too, isn't it? his freedom to choose how his bond with fyodor will be. in a way, fyodor dying took away from his free will.

i truly believe nikolai is. maybe not selfish but certainly self-centered or self-serving enough to be sad over, and forgive me for this analogy, his toy getting broken. I'm certain he's also genuinely sad about his only friend dying, and so gruesomely too, but i wouldn't be surprised if at his core this is what makes him this sad. and i think that also leads to his conflicting emotions about fyodor's death

i also think that thing dazai pointed out about fyodor's lack of trust plays a part in nikolai's grief here. to him, fyodor is the only one who understood him, the only one who made him feel seen, and as far as we know the only person who was important to him. but he probably knew the feeling wasn't mutual. still, this was the nail in the coffin, confirming fyodor never saw him as a friend as well, not even as an ally.

i don't have an actual conclusion here, just speculation on nikolai's internal turmoil and how he might feel now. i really hope (and expect) we will see him again, and i wonder if this event will change anything about him.

i speculated in the past that his eye cover is a symbol of his bond with fyodor. and today, he took it off after fyodor died. i wonder, if the next time we see nikolai, he will still wear it or not (or possibly wear a new one). i guess we'll see!

#bungou stray dogs #fyolai #originally this post was just the first paragraph but then i started rambling in the tags #and as soon as i started i knew i won't be able to keep it short. and look at that! i was right 😭#either way i hope you enjoy. i love him sm. I'm so glad we got to see him today 🖤#bsd spoilers #dan rambles #i should be sleeping..... but nikolai is more important 🧐#(<- was gonna wait for tomorrow to write a full analysis but lacks any patience)

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inamagicalhallucination · 5 months

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i love this so much

becuz on one hand it looks like atsushi is the light breaking apart the otherwise darkness oozing out of akutagawa

like we all know akutagawa's design is super sexy becuz he was specifically designed to blend into the dark - becuz he's a character so much surrounded by darkness (it's why his little bug eyes dont have any light in them) but here, he's not completely dark, becuz look, atsushi is coming in w/ the contrast

and atsushi in general serves as a figure of light for akutagawa not becuz he can "use" atsushi to prove himself to dazai, like akutagawa initially thought - but simply becuz atsushi has become something for akutagawa, whether he'll admit to it or not

not even from a shipping lens - atsushi is just something to akutagawa - something worth dying for

this pic is also similar to how he stops being an all encompassing drenched in darkness figure when he gives rashomon to atsushi

look at how they switch

and on the other hand it looks like akutagawa is the force protecting atsushi and his light (becuz the coat melts into the ground)

now we know atsushi isn't a fully white/light character becuz no one is realistically all good or all bad (also if we're looking at it through just chracter design, then the character who pops up in my head as predominantly colored white is shibusawa and he's a piece of shit)

anyway

atsushi is relatively balanced (not developed fully into what all the characters are reaching for - a balance of their "good" and "bad" sides becuz we all know atsushi still has a way to go) but atsushi is a character who aims to do the "right" thing (though occasionally for selfish reasons) and often times becomes the "light" figure for other characters (kyouka for example) but he himself is held back becuz of his past and his inability to move on (i dont blame him tho becuz his "past" was like a few months ago for him lmao)

atsushi needs to make peace and understand his own "dark" side before he can ever develop

when atsushi wears rashomon

he becomes a predominantly, in terms of design, dark/black character - which i think is on purpose becuz one thing akutagawa gives him is assurance that the past is just the past (in his own mean akutagawa way) and atsushi isn't really a character who we see deal with his past (king of trauma dumping but never actually talking about his past)

of course this is the edited version from the @akutagawa-daily account but the og pic

is still like that

i feel like i could add something about dazai being there but it might be a reach so

sorry this is ramble-y and doesn't make sense but i had to get it off my chest

maybe one day i'll rewrite this in a way where you can tell what im saying (i will not)

saying dark side so many times made me feel like a 2012 emo kid aslfkdjf

#bungo stray dogs #atsushi nakajima #akutagawa ryunosuke

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aspoonofsugar · 6 months

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Chuya's Tainted Sorrow

Here comes a meta on my favourite bsd character:

Chuya is mostly explored in the two BSD novels Fifteen and Storm Bringer, so this post covers what happens in these books. In particular, I am going to use Chuya's song, gift and literary references to explore his story.

DARKNESS MY SORROW

Darkness My Sorrow is Chuya's character song and its title combines two different literary references:

Darkness comes from the Sheep Song, which is used to trigger Corruption:

O acquaintances, grantors of dark disgrace, do not wake me again!

Sorrow comes from Upon The Tainted Sorrow, which gives its name to Chuya's ability

Let's discover what these two poems represent.

CHUYA'S DARK DISGRACE (THE SHEEP)

O expectations, stale and dismal airs, leave this body of mine! I want nothing anymore but simplicity, quiet, murmurs and order. O acquaintances, grantors of dark disgrace, do not wake me again! I will endure my solitude, arms seeming already useless. O eyes that open doubtfully, open eyes that stay motionless for a while, ah, heart, that believes in others more than itself, O expectations, stale and dismal airs, leave, leave this body of mine! I enjoy nothing anymore but my wretched dreams. (The Sheep Song, Part II)

The Sheep is Chuya's first group, which welcomes him in as a child. Why is the organization called after this animal? There are several reasons, which tie with Chuya's relationship with his friends.

1 - Chuya is a herding dog

The Sheep's members are normal kids, but Chuya guards their territory and punishes trespassers violently. This is the behaviour of herding dogs, which are famous for their aggressiveness towards outsiders.

"Everyone's waiting for you to give this enemy a beatdown! That's the only way we Sheep can protect our turf! We've only made it this far because everyone knows they can't mess with us!" (Shirase in Fifteen)

2 - Chuya is a sheep among wolves

"Chuuya's got all that berserk firepower, but here he's like sheep getting stared down by a wolf." (Dazai in Fifteen)

Chuya's relationship with the Sheep is exploitative and toxic. The other kids use Chuya's love and wish to belong to control him. All in all, Chuya is used as a pawn for the organization's well being:

"We Sheep took you in when you had no family and nowhere to go, but you already gave us more than enough in return. That's why... it's time to rest... after dying and contributing to the Sheep one last time." (Shirase in Fifteen)

3 - Chuya is the King of the Sheep

Luois I, King of the Sheep is a children book about a sheep, who finds a crown. He puts it on and becomes King. The point of the story is that Luois I is like other sheep, but chance and a superficial attribute turn him into a royal.

Chuya sees himself in the same way:

"I'm not a King," the boy, Chuuya Nakahara, spat. "I just happen to have something no one else does: power. I'm simply fulfilling the responsibility I have." (Fifteen)

Chuya's "crown" is his gravity manipulation gift that sets him apart from others. He even calls it a "good card", so something luck gives him.

Luois I lets the crown get to his head and believes he is above others. Chuya instead really wants to be part of the flock:

Chuuya wasn't anyone special; he didn't have a skill, either. He was just a regular member of the group. He wasn't the king, he had no powers, he wasn't the center of attention - he was simply a single Sheep among the flock, chatting with his friends. (Chuya's wish in Storm Bringer)

However, his ability is so powerful that it is the Sheep kids, who forget Chuya is a teenage boy just like them:

"Chuuya's covered in wounds. I've never seen him like that. He looks just like a regular guy my age. Wait, no - he doesn't just look like one. He is my age. He's a boy just like me." (Shirase in Storm Bringer)

In short, Chuya doesn't want to be the Sheep King, but he is forced into the role by the crown of power:

"Shut up! If you think you can become king, then do it! You can have this power!" Chuuya howled, unable to take it any longer. "To hell with power! If I didn't have this skill, I'd still be with you guys...!" (Storm Bringer)

Still, gifts are metaphors of the characters' interiority. So, what does Chuya's abnormous skill symbolize? What is the real flaw that defines Chuya's relationships and gets in their way?

"Once there was this boy who could amplify the skill of anyone he touched. Super convenient. So what do you think would happen if he used it on himself instead of someone else? (...) He amplified the skill to amplify the other skill, which amplified the skill to amplify skills that amplify skills. This self-referencing continued nonstop as he endlessly amplified his own skill." (N in Storm Bringer)

Storm Bringer reveals that the origin of Chuya's gravity manipulation is the gift to make other skills more powerful. The user applies his gift on himself and makes it stronger and stronger until infinite energy is created and space warps. So, Chuya's singularity is born: a gift able to control gravity. In other words:

The original ability is to make others stronger

If the ability is used on one-self (so that the wielder can become more powerful and make others even more powerful), then a contradiction arises and a monstruous skill appears

This process is a representation of Chuya's tendency to grow stronger for others' sake. He hones his fighting skills to protect the Sheep (to make them stronger), but this turns them too dependent on him (an organizational vulnerability). What a good leader should do is instead to nurture his people, so that they can be independent and strong:

“A leader is both the head of the organization and the organization’s slave. For the survival and the profit of the organization, they gladly put themselves through any manner of filth. They develop their subordinates and place them where they best fit. And, if necessary, they use and dispose of them. For the sake of the organization, they take on any act of barbarism with glee. That is a leader. All for the organization, and for the protection of this beloved city.” (Mori in Fifteen)

This is Chuya's mistake and the reason why the Sheep disbands. Chuya falls short as a leader not because he isn't as smart as Dazai or Mori (if anything, I think he is going to be a better leader than both). Rather, he fails because he doesn't know how to depend on others:

"It's because you are our friend. Were things different with the Sheep?" They had been. That was what Chuuya's flustered expression was saying. Everyone in the Sheep depended on him. The contrary was unthinkable. (Storm Bringer)

He insists on doing everything by himself, but a leader should work with his subordinates. This is what Chuya lacks in Fifteen and what he sails up to learn.

Still, to succeed Chuya needs to face the origin of this flaw, which lies in how he perceives himself:

O eyes that open doubtfully, open eyes that stay motionless for a while, ah, heart, that believes in others more than itself

Chuya sees himself as inferior to others. This complex makes him willing to be used, if it means he belongs somewhere:

LONELY DARKNESS MY SORROW, once it is opened by the key I'd rather just fall than go back to being alone Staring at the destroyed cage of this self, (GRAVITY) Slowly, I sing, "Not bad at all."

This is the key stanza of Chuya's song, which reveals what Chuya's darkness really is. Loneliness. Chuya is scared of being alone, so he does his best to conform to others' wishes. For example, he dresses like those around him not to stick out.

Chuuya, age fifteen - He wears sportsy clothes, with several sheep symbols:

Chuuya, age sixteen - He wears a formal attire with much black in it. Perfect mafia-style:

However, he can't escape his interior pain, which metaphorically manifests in Corruption:

O acquaintances, grantors of dark disgrace, do not wake me again! I will endure my solitude, arms seeming already useless.

It is not by chance that the verses, which open Chuya's gate affirm the poet's solitude. That is because deep down Corruption is just this. Chuya's isolation.

THE TAINTED SORROW (ARAHABAKI)

Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Today, the snowflakes fall so harsh. Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Today, even the strong wind gusts. The Tainted Sorrow is Just like a fox’s hooded fur. The Tainted Sorrow is Covered by snowflakes and it cowers. The Tainted Sorrow has Nothing to desire and nothing to wish. The Tainted Sorrow has A dream of death to its wary self. Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Trembling like a pitiful soul. Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Nowhere to belong, the sun sets... (Upon The Tainted Sorrow)

Corruption is a state where Chuya gives up his body to Arahabaki. What is this entity? In universe, it is a singularity, a self-contradicting skill able to create infinite power. It metaphorically represents two things:

Everyone's objectification of Chuya

A part of Chuya himself

1 - Chuya's life is defined by others reducing him to a skill

-N and the Government kidnap, abuse and clone Chuya because of his self-contradicting gift. It is not the two kids (the original and the clone) they are interested in. Rather, they reduce them to their special abilities:

"Just like how we respect your will, we respect the will of your skill Arahabaki, as well. But... how should I put this? Your will is tying Arahabaki down, and as long as your will is firm, we won't be able to remove Arahabaki from you." (N in Storm Bringer)

N says it oudloud. He respects Arahabaki's will more than Chuya's. Except that Arahabaki has no will:

"Sigh... Why do you wanna see it so bad?" Chuuya said. "It doesn't have a personality or a mind of its own, so what's meeting' it gonna do for you? You gonna pray to it because it's a god? It's a god of destruction, y'know. Nothing more than a mass of energy. It's no different from a typhoon or an earthquake. Ya might as well pray to a power plant." (Fifteen)

Arahabaki is not a person, but the embodyment of Chuya's gift. And yet, it is given a name and treated as more important than the kid.

-Rimbaud literally wants to turn Chuya into a skill:

"Allow me to reintroduce myself. Rimbaud. Arthur Rimbaud. My skill is called Illuminations. Chuuya, my goal is to kill you and absorb you into my skill" (Rimbaud in Fifteen)

He doesn't want to kill Dazai because he hates murdering children. And yet, Chuya is Dazai's same age. However, Rimbaud sees him as nothing, but Arahabaki's host.

-Verlaine wants Chuya to be his clone:

"I dunno about you, but I'm human." "You aren't human. You're 2,383 lines of code." (Chuya and Verlaine in Storm Bringer)

He denies Chuya's humanity and insists he is an artificial creation. Chuya can't be the original kidnapped child, but needs to share Verlaine's origins and hate for the world. Verlaine doesn't consider his brother a person, but an extension of himself.

2- Arahabaki is Chuuya's inner beast

In psychology, the beast is a personification of one's deepest and most repressed feelings. What are Chuya's?

His control on gravity suggests two strong emotions:

a) A lack of freedom - The ability to control gravity should make one freer. And yet, Chuya is always chained:

He spends his childhood imprisoned in a lab. He is used as an attack dog by the Sheep. He is threatened to join the mafia with his friends' lives and Rimbaud's secret files. In a sense, he always serves someone. That is why Arahabaki is a servant deity.

b) A huge existential weight - He can make things lighter, but he still shoulders too much:

"Tell me, tin man," Chuuya suddenly stated, his voice devoid of all emotion. "Why did they die?" "Because of you, Chuuya." Silence. "Yeah, it is my fault." (Chuuya and Adam in Storm Bringer)

For example, Chuya blames himself for what happens with the Sheep, the Flags and later on Adam:

"What's wrong, Chuuya? Everyone's going to die at this rate. You're going to kill them. Your shortcomings are going to kill them." (Verlaine in Storm Bringer)

Chuya fears whoever gets close to him dies. That is why Arahabaki is a god of destruction.

Points 1 and 2 explain Chuya's loneliness. On the one hand others only see his skill (objectification). On the other hand Chuya doesn't see himself (struggle with the beast).

Arahabaki is a god whose origins are uncertain, so nobody understands it. Not even Chuya:

'In languor dreams of death' … who was the one that said it?

In the song, Chuya wonders who is the author of his own poem. This shows how disconnected he is from himself. He wears a mask of violence and bravado to hide his vulnerability. Still, this fragility emerges every time he lets Arahabaki out. Here comes the interpretative key of Chuya's character...

Arahabaki is nothing, but the Tainted Sorrow of the poem:

The tainted sorrow is a fox covered in snow, while the wind howls:

Black snow began fluttering around Chuuya. Red scar-like runes crawled across his skin. He ignored the law of physics, hovering in the sky, as he glared down at the beast on the surface. Intense heat caused by the gamma radiation filled the air. The night was scorched, and the scenery warped. (Storm Bringer)

Arahabaki-Chuya is described as a tailed-beast and the anime shows he is similar to a fox. Moreover, he is covered in black snow, while his gravity powers manifest a strong wind.

The rest of the verses convey Chuya's feelings:

The Tainted Sorrow has Nothing to desire and nothing to wish. The Tainted Sorrow has A dream of death to its wary self. Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Trembling like a pitiful soul. Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Nowhere to belong, the sun sets...

Interestingly, the fox and the setting sun come up in Storm Bringer:

The video showed a golden coin. One side was engraved with a fox, the other with the moon. It was beautiful yet somewhat melancholy. (Storm Bringer)

The young Chuya repeats Upon the Tainted Sorrow while playing with a coin that has a fox and a moon on its sides.

The literary metaphor becomes clear. The Sheep Song is the key to open the Tainted Sorrow's gate. Chuya activates Corruption through verses, that state his loneliness. He says them, when he is ready to face the darkest part of himself.

WHAT IS CHUYA?

The Tainted Sorrow has Nothing to desire and nothing to wish. The Tainted Sorrow has A dream of death to its wary self.

The Tainted Sorrow dreams of death, which means Chuya is suicidal.

This is why he is both drawn and repulsed by Dazai:

"Your birth itself was a mistake. We're the same. Is there really a point to suffering through all that pain for a life that isn't even real?" The voice was taunting him. "Shut up," Chuuya spat, but even he knew he was talking to himself. "Screw you, Dazai." "That's just proof that you at least somewhat believe what I'm saying. Because deep down inside, you're the same as me." (Storm Bringer)

Dazai is the Chuya, who regrets being born and wishes to die. Still, he is also the Chuya, who wants to live, despite it all:

Chuya quietly stared at Daai's expression as if he were searching for something human deep inside of him. "So you're saying... you want to live now?" "I wouldn't go that far," Dazai replied with a resigned smile. "Maybe I won't find anything, but I figure I'll give it a try." (Fifteen)

The Tainted Sorrow wishes nothing because it isn't a person. Chuya fears he has no will of his own because he isn't human:

Chuuya Nakahara didn't dream. For him, waking up was like a bubble emerging from within mud. (Storm Bringer)

This fear is why Chuya's friendship with Adam is so important.

Adam is a an artificial creation, like Chuya. He is even called after the Frankenstein monster. He is a robot programmed to destroy himself for the sake of his mission:

"This is the real reason why an android was sent, instead of a human detective. My core, which now contains state secrets, will be incinirated along with Verlaine." (Adam in Storm Bringer)

Adam is a person, like Chuya. He is even called after the first man. He is a friend, who chooses to sacrifice himself for a loved one:

"I get to protect you. I couldn't ask for more." (Adam in Storm Bringer)

Dazai and Adam are linked to life and humanity, which are the main themes of Chuya's arc in the novels.

They both get to keep on living together with Chuya:

Dazai curled into the fetal position and screamed, "Dying with Chuuya? Anything but thaaaat!!" (Storm Bringer)

"Would you like to hear an android joke, Master Chuuya?" (Adam revealed as alive at the end of Storm Bringer)

Fittingly, Storm Bringer ends with the three of them together and alive. Chuya loses several friends, but by the end he still has two bonds. Two people who survive their friendship with him.

Even more importantly, Dazai and Adam both care about Chuya's humanity:

"Chuuya's gonna kill N at this rate and lose his humanity, but I want to see him suffer as a human. That's why I have to stop him" (Dazai in Storm Bringer)

"Do you know whether Master Chuuya is human?" I was curiously hopeful that he would know the truth. (Adam in Storm Bringer)

Not only that, but they help Chuya finish his arc and find himself:

Then what is a soul? My friend's final words... What if those words were merely the words of a soulless command? So what? (Chuya in Storm Bringer)

Dazai gives Chuya a choice and Adam helps Chuya make it.

Dazai believes in Chuya's humanity more than anyone else:

"You sound like you're certain he's human." "I am." Dazai sighed, smiling. "There's no way I could hate a man-made character string this much." (Storm Bringer)

N, Shirase, Rimbaud and Verlaine all reduce Chuya to a skill. Dazai instead sees Chuya as his own person. Sure, he finds Chuya annoying, but he is the only one, who interacts with Chuya for who he is, rather than what he can do.

Adam realizes Chuya is human no matter his origins:

"Asleep or not, he is just an ordinary human," Chuuya replied indifferently. "his skill is strong, but that's it. He gets mad, he worries... That doesn't seem to be enough for him, though." "You are exactly right. It appears you have reached the conclusioin you needed to arrive at." (Chuya and Adam in Storm Bringer)

The Flags, Verlaine, Dazai and Chuya himself are focused on uncovering Chuya's birth. Is he the original kid or the clone? Discovering the truth is everyone's goal. Still, by the end Adam realizes Chuya's nature doesn't matter. He is Chuya either way. He is the person who teaches Adam about humanity. He is Adam's first friend.

Thanks to both Dazai and Adam, Chuya finally faces himself and activates Corruption. Not only that, but Chuya's final choice to let Arahabaki out is a perfect example of how he interprets freedom:

Even though it feels like I might be trapped, there is no room for sentiments I'll push myself to the limit and dye everything jet-black The world is a bird cage, faded in colour Even if I lament, I can't get out of this prison BUT NOW, DARKNESS MY SORROW I have not yet fallen apart So, as I laugh off this imposed inconvenience Let's overturn even the heavens and the earth (GRAVITY)

Chuya is trapped in many ways and he knows it. He is given a gift he doesn't want and he is forced to join an organization he dislikes. And yet, he makes all these "imposed inconveniences" his. Chuya accepts the "card he is given" and uses it the best he can.

He combines his gift with martial arts, so that it really becomes his own ability:

He finds his own motivation to work for the mafia:

"I chose to join the Mafia on my own, and I'm never gonna be your lackey, much less your dog!" (Chuuya to Dazai in Fifteen)

He doesn't open the gate when N forces him, but he chooses to on his own terms.

It is really not by chance that in Chuya's first big fight in the manga, this happens:

Chuya claims there is no choice, but he is still the one who decides to activate Corruption. Even when trapped, Chuya always pushes forward and plays the hand he is dealt with passion. Even if he is unsure of who he is, he lives on as himself.

WHO IS CHUYA?

Chuuya took off one of his leather riding gloves and gazed at his hand. This is my hand, he thought. (Storm Bringer)

Chuya is a person. He has always been, no matter if he is the original or the clone. He feels pain, happiness, surprise. He is able to bond and to empathize with others. All of this makes him human. Not only that, but all of this makes him Chuya.

It is interesting that by the end, many people who objectify Chuya, recognize his personhood.

Shirase sees him as the teenage he is and saves him

Mori traps Chuya in the mafia, but is touched by Chuya's passion and loyalty:

Both Rimbaud and Verlaine eventually see who Chuya is:

"Chuuya, you already possess strength and talents all your own, separate from Arahabaki. You are strong not as a god but as a human being." (Rimbaud in Fifteen)

"Does that mean... you do not yet resent the world?" "There's people I hate, but not all of'em," replied Chuuya. "I know better than to try and live a solitary existence. You used to feel the same, right?" Verlaine didn't respond. It was as if his silence itself was his answer. (Storm Bringer)

And tell him to live on:

"Chuuya... can I... ask you... a favor?" "What is it?" "Live" Randou said in almost a whisper. (Fifteen)

"Chuuya-live." (Verlaine in Storm Bringer)

Chuya manages to inspire all these people. At the same time, he is inspired back by them:

I was blessed with wonderful friends. That's all. I could have been in your situation, and you could have been in mine. (Chuya to Verlaine in Storm Bringer)

He integrates all his loved ones in who he is:

He (probably) imitates Hirotsu's habit to wear gloves and to take them away, when he is getting serious. This mannerism partially substitutes his practice to fight with the hands in the pockets

He is given his motorcycle by Albatross and keeps it as a memory of the Flags

He wears Verlaine's hat, which is really a gift from all three Chuya's key parental figures:

1- Rimbaud creates it for Verlaine

Once Verlaine puts on the hat, the fabric lining acts like coils, deflecting any external command sequences that could tamper with his mind. In other words, the wearer can control command sequences at will. With this hat, Verlaine is one step closer to becoming a human with free will. (Rimbaud in Storm Bringer)

2- Verlaine passes it down to Chuya

"You really like that hat, huh? That was his, right?" "Yeah, I'd rather not wear my brother's hand-me-downs, but it's got some pretty useful functions." (Shirase and Chuya in Storm Bringer)

3- Mori gives it to Chuya as a gift when he joins the mafia

"What's the hat for?" "It signifies your acceptance into the Mafia," Mori explained with a smile as he stood facing Chuuya. "Whoever recruits a new member into the organization usually looks after them as well. It's custom to gift the new recruit with something they can wear as a symbol of that bond." (Fifteen)

As a result, Chuya's hat is an object full of symbolism:

Within the darkness, a shadow of a hat lightly dances.

It is both shadow (a shadow of a hat) and light (within the darkness, it dances). On the one hand it is the key to Corruption, so to chaos. On the other hand it gives Chuya the power to control this chaos to an extent.

It is both what grants Chuya's free will and what threatens his autonomy:

It describes Chuya's bond with Mori, which is contradictory. Mori blackmails Chuya to join the mafia and controls him. He also offers Chuya a family (heart) and an insight on leadership (mind).

It represents Chuya's bond with Rimbaud and Verlaine, who are Chuya's literary parents, as their real life counterparts inspired Chuya Nakahara's poetry. In general, Chuya's past lowkey alludes to the true poet's one, at least metaphorically.

Nakahara Chuya is born in a rather wealthy family and forced by his father to pursue medicine studies. However, he discovers poetry when he is 8 years old and his younger brother dies. Later on, he rebels against his father's education and is inspired by Rimbaud and Verlaine's works. He imitates both their poems and their dandy life-style.

Similarly, BSD Chuya finds himself trapped until he is symbolically awaken to literature (break out of the lab) by Rimbaud and Verlaine. Here, his poetry (Upon The Tainted Sorrow) is set free and Chuya is reborn:

Those newborn cries filled the outside world in the form of flames. The raging flames brought destruction to the surface for as far as the eye could see. And thus, " " was born. (Fifteen)

Interestingly, Chuya is 7 or 8, when Rimbaud and Verlaine arrive in his life. Moreover, his survival and freedom come at the cost of his other self (his clone/the original Chuya). Just like Nakahara Chuya's first poem is the result of his grief for his brother's death.

In other words, Chuya is Rimbaud and Verlaine's literary child. He is what their bond leaves behind. This is why initially they both strongly project on Chuya, but eventually let him go. Isn't it normal for a parent to see themselves in their child? And isn't it normal for the child to imitate the parents to an extent? And yet, the child is his own person. Just like this, Chuya is strongly defined by both Rimbaud and Verlaine, but he is growing into himself:

"It's okay. The Port Mafia is my family now" (Chuya in Storm Bringer)

So, who is Chuya? It's easy, really. He is a Port Mafia Executive (and probably the next Port Mafia boss). Right now, he needs to define his role within the organization and outside Mori. As a matter of fact, Mori is Chuya's third father, so to become an adult, Chuya needs to outgrow him. Just like he did with Rimbaud and Verlaine. Only then, he will truly choose who Chuya Nakahara is.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #chuya nakahara #nakahara chuya #chuuya nakahara #nakahara chūya #bsd meta #bungou stray dogs meta #my meta #chuya is so rich #i actually cut several things #like his bond with both mori and dazai or his set-up to be a leader #oh well #hope it is still enjoyable :)

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gildeddlily · 1 year

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yk what I really hate? people defining soukoku's relationship as toxic and headcanon chuuya as a violent person who physically assaults and abuses Dazai cause he "makes him mad", or Dazai as the one who constantly manipulates him into doing what he needs.

like who ever told you this? first of all, no. second of all, no. They have the strangest relationship I've ever seen, but it's something beautiful built with trust from both parts so how can you call that toxic to this point?

we've never saw Chuuya physically hurting Dazai in both manga and light novels, at least not seriously (the basement scene doesn't mean anything, they didn't see each other for like four years and chuuya's a fricking mafia executive no shit he's gonna beat up the mafia traitor. but seriously, after seeing him fight for real you think that was violence?). Do I think that at least once Dazai got beat up? yes, cause Dazai is constantly getting on Chuuya's nerves. the nerves of a dysfunctional teenager, that works for the mafia, that has a partner who tries to kill himself every two days, that is emotionally constipated and never learned how to love and be loved (the sheep betrayed him, the Flags died, Dazai is Dazai) so yeah, I don't think he knows how to express his feelings (he was all "I'm gonna act like I don't love you but in reality I love you a lot" with the flags at sixteen, what do you pretend from him if he's interacting with Dazai?) but not to the point of beating up Dazai every time they fight.

Dazai is ever worse: he's traumatized as fuck too, and is always going with the "I'm not human" bullshit (shut up sometimes he's so human he makes me cry) that most times prevents him from enjoying practically anything. Chuuya is not someone he know how to act with, but he spends three years with him so he fricking learned how, alr? They know eachother better than everyone, to the point that Chuu is able to understand Dazai's "misterious as fuck no one can understand me why people call akutagawa emo when im here" plans and attitude. They trust each other to the point of constantly putting each other lives in the other's hands.

Dazai manipulates everyone, yeah, but not like Fyodor does. Stop treating his efforts to respect Oda's last wish like nothing and only seeing him as the man he was in the mafia. Bungou Stray Dogs is so beautiful because it's realistic in portraying human's life and emotions, so stop trying to make Dazai act and seen as the mean demon who hates everyone except odasaku. his "chess pieces" are used and directed in a gentle way, just see Atsushi and the relationship he has with him, or the ADA. (the drowning thing. there was world's peace at steak, you think he should have chose saving Chuuya instead of everyone else? And that he really didn't think ab Chuuya saving Fyodor with his ability? I'm sure he knew, purely for the "what a shallow bond" thing. Asagiri spent the last years making us understand the deep bond they share, only to make it really shallow after one hundred chapters?)

Chuuya knows Dazai, he knows the way he choose to act, how his mind works and how he plans the future, Asagiri said that himself, so it actually is canon. He truly knows him (best and worst part of him, and we're talking ab mafia!dazai) and still trusts him with his life, knows Dazai always hides something up his sleeve and's always "i trusted you with this *random insults*" after almost dying for Dazai.

They just voluntarily ignore their connection, but they're both aware of it, just see how Chuuya in Dead Apple is sure that Dazai has something in mind that involves him using Corruption (risking his life) and punching him in the face, or how Dazai is sure that Chuuya will use Corruption risking his life and punch him. (the soft way he punched him while using Corruption really is... strange. he was throwing buildings around and then punch Dazai like he wasn't even using his ability? there wasn't any real strength behind it, at least not the corrupted one. so yeah we also have corrupted!Chuuya loving Dazai like the normal one) (I'm chewing a gum (my throat is hurting sthu) and I feel like the woman from that asmr meme that types on a pc) so yeah the point is. people can write or create media ab everything they want, but going around talking ab how they'd be a toxic couple cause they're abusive and bad for eachother is bullshit, especially if they're talking ab 22!Soukoku that has the potential to be endgame. teen!Soukoku could be toxic, yes, cause it's always disfuncional teenagers we're talking ab, they wouldn't even know ab how to be a good couple, but they'd manage, and still do more good for each other than bad. (this is all to say that I cry when while searching for good skk ff I find that type of ff that antagonize one of them by portraying them as abusive (like taking out of the context Chuuya calling sixteen Dazai inhuman after he said that the death of a man that Chuuya respected was a luck for them- no shit he was angry(still could have not said that)) and the other as an innocent kid that doesn't know better)

we stan the "the other was the only really good thing in their life for a long time" trope

#random skk thoughts #bsd #bungou stray dogs #skk #soukoku #chuuya nakahara #dazai osamu #bsd analysis #kinda #dead apple #was a rollercoaster #gay thoughts #port mafia

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nataliaphantomhivesblog · 2 years

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People who think Dazai is going to actually kill Chuuya not only underestimate Soukoku, but also underestimate Fydoor a lot.

Do y'all really think that Fydoor ONLY choose Chuuya as his asset because of his strenght? Because if you think thats the case, you are wrong.

Fydoor choose Chuuya because he is smart enough to detect the emotional impact our redhead has on Dazai.

Just look at Dazai's words when he realizes Fydoor is using Chuuya. He even calls him a bastard for this.

Because this "despicable card" is not just for Fydoor to have physcial power over him, but also to mentally and emotionally toll with Dazai.

Fydoor knows that Dazai will prioritize Chuuya over escaping the prision. Lets not forget that Dazai has prioritized Chuuya over a mission mulitple times.

A clear example of this is in Stormbringer:

Inside Dazai's head, he was planning a procedure to swith to an alternative plan in case Chuuya refused, at a tremendous speed.

Yes...while the whole world was in mortal danger Dazai still took his time to prioritize his partners wellbeing whille trying to come up with another plan that wouldn't affect Chuuya.

Also I just know that if Chuuya wasn't that much of an important person to Dazai, the brunnete would've exploited Chuuya's powers long ago just to get a mission over with.

But he doesn't exploit him. Not only because Dazai cares. But also because they are both equals to one another.

With all this being said, Fydoor is using Chuuya as a possible distraction for Dazai.

Now that Chuuya is a vampire, its likely that Dazai wants to find a way to change him back to normal so that he will no longer be in Fydoor's clutches. (It would also be benificial to Dazai since Chuuya will be on his side if he does turn back to normal.)

With that being said, I think its highly likely that Dazai's current plan is to turn Chuuya back into a human.

Dazai didn't just trap Chuuya and Fydoor there to drown them. He trapped them there to trigger something in Chuuya and make him human again.

And I think its working! Look at Chuuya's eyes in the first pannel and Chuuya's eyes on the second one.

I can't be the only one who is able to spot the difference here. Chuuya's face looks significantly human in the 2nd picture.

Dazai doesn't genuienly want to kill Chuuya. I think that Dazai most likely knew that keeping him confined in that place while triggering Chuuya's emotions with memories of his friendship would make him turn back to normal.

And the only way Chuuya can get out of that confined area is by using corruption. And we all know how both Dazai and Chuuya feel about using corruption so I think thats why Dazai is very apolagetic about all this.

Take note of Dazai's choice of words here: "Its unfortunate that it had to come to this" isn't that a wierd way of wording a goodbye to a friend? I think if Dazai was being genuiene over Chuuya dying then he would say that its a shame that it had to end that way.

But it won't. It won't end. Atleast not yet. Dazai is just sorry that Chuuya is trapped in a situation where he has no choice but to use corruption.

All in all, this whole situation will change their dynamic a lot. Especially now that Dazai was more verbally vulnerable about his dynamic with Chuuya than he has ever been throughout the story.

I cannot wait for the next chapter to see what will happen! Lets keep trusting soukokus partnership and know that these two will get through this one.

#soukoku #chuuya nakahara #dazai osamu #bsd #chuuya and dazai #dazai and chuuya #bungou stray dogs #nakahara chuuya #Manga #Anime #Bsd spoilers #Manga spoilers #Bsd ch 101

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ddarker-dreams · 8 months

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Hellooooo I have been DYING to know this from you 👉👈. You know how there's a lot of tips for writing stuff? Well do you happen to have any tips for reading stuff? I want to read the books you recommend but I fear I'm just too dumb 😭 and won't understand what is going on let alone the themes and philosophies discussed. I feel like I would be insulting Dostoevsky by reading his work looool. We were never taught this stuff in schools ;O

I'm talking about critical thinking and analysis skills, media literacy, being able to picture and visualise sceneries; characters' voices/appearances etc., and just overall being able to comprehend one sentence that doesn't use the most basic active voice structure 😭 thank you if you choose to answer!!!!

SWEET ANON !!!! YOU ARE NOT DUMB !!!!

this is coming from a survivor of the american education system, so it might not be universal, but my experiences in middle/high school made me dislike reading books. no joke. i didn't see the point and thought reading the classics was a waste of time. i'm sure that's partially teenager arrogance, but from the conversations i've had with others, reading was rarely framed in a way that stoked intrigue. we're not given the tools to engage with the text so i'm rarely surprised when i see the worst takes imaginable on a piece of media i enjoy from a 14 year old.

i'm still learning myself when it comes to media literacy, it's an ongoing journey. when i read notes from underground for the first time last year i was literally so confused. i can normally read anywhere from 80k-100k words in one day if i'm motivated enough, but NFU, a novella at around 43k words, took me over a week.

i say all this to reassure you that you're not alone!

some advice that comes to mind when reading a dense work:

do some background research on the author. i know teachers hiss at wikipedia for some reason but reading a few paragraphs about the person's life, beliefs, politics, etc really helps put their writing into perspective.

look into the time period it was written. what were the pressing social issues at the time? who was in charge? what conflicts were ongoing/just ended? what was the predominant religion? books don't exist in a vacuum, a lot of the classics are filled with jabs at ideologies the author doesn't like (i'm looking at you, dante).

if the author's from a different country than you, getting a basic grasp on the culture helps a lot. with reading dostoevsky specifically, historical events like the emancipation of the serfs was an entirely new concept to my american brain.

not everything is going to make sense. sometimes the cultural/historical layers go so deep you'd need to have been alive at the time to immediately get it. fortunately, there are nerds with degrees in book who do extensive research and can give insight. i'll think i maybe understand a book okay, go to read a journal article on it, and go ??????? wat???? page 632 paragraph 3 references euclid's optics?? how was i supposed to know that.

finally, you're not going to like every book you read, even if it's well written. there's a difference between persevering and actively torturing yourself with words. if you dread picking it up again, there are other books to check out instead. there are some classics that i don't care for much (some of edgar allen poe's short stories, the fall by albert camus, no longer human by dazai osamu, to name a few).

ask yourself questions while reading. why did this character do that? is there a reoccurring motif throughout the work, and if so, why might the author be trying to highlight that? what perspective is the work from? is the protagonist lucid, are they an unreliable narrator? what themes are being explored here?

i hope some of this helps dsfhgkdjshgks there's a lot to be said on the subject but i didn't want this post to be miles long.

#answered #Anonymous

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carrotkicks · 1 year

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might be getting the timeline wrong but maybe 16!chuuya wouldnt like 22!chuuya because 16!chuuya wasnt vv loyal to the mafia at first (unless that was at 15, not 16)l, sry i Cannot Remember) but 22!chuuya is very loyal and everything. also maybe chuuya also didnt like the idea of being an executive, like the responsibility, aka one step down from leadership (were we ever told when chuuya became an exec? if so, i Cannot Remember once again)

well it goes from 16yo not really wanting to being in the mafia -> 22 having accepted the mafia is his home now. From what we've seen from him at 22 he's really grown INTO that position. He acts lot more cocky and smug, more confident etc. He's more materialistic, fancy clothes fancy wine in a way that 16 chuuya wasn't. I think i was specifically mentioned in SB that chuuya was wearing expensive clothes and living in an expensive apartment complex, but his place is plain and empty and his clothes are just the standard mafia uniform (like higuchi's or all the other nameless grunts).

From what we know from the Drama CDs he encourages Akutagawa to take a rest and take care of himself. This is a sentiement he doesnt apply to himself back in SB. He ALSO seems to be oblivious or in denial abt Dazai's training of Akutagawa and tries to justify Dazai's reasoning. We know he goes with Mori's plans without questioning anything, we know he's perfectly down to kill Q bc of his team dying. We see that he still care abt and acts friendly (in chuuya standards lol) with all his fellow mafiosos.

We know that he doesn't seem to like that Dazai is being more virtuous now. I think this is a situation of him once again expressing self insecurity in the veins of "we were both monsters. But Dazai's a good person now, so what the hell does that make me?"

Here's what i think: despite being an incredibly selfless person, chuuya is still really selfish. He's always had his immense power but noww he has money AND status, so he might as well have fun with that. Even if by the end it goes against his base principals. Even if this wasnt really the way he wanted his life to turn out. AND i think he's not willing to change yet because that will ruin this fragile state of stability he's gotten. Change is painful and he'd rather not do pain, thanks.

also! Chuuya had to be promoted to executive AFTER Dazai had left. In the SB epilogue he's gone to meet his bio-parents with Higuchi and Akutagawa. This information from the past would have only been given to him AFTER the executive promotion, and considering Higuchi joined after Dazai was already gone, THAT's where i think that point falls in the timeline

#ask #meta i guess?#sorryyy chuuya gives me a lot to think abt.#the mafia blood money changes a man fr fr.#you think atsushi would've been easily goaded into the mafia if he saw the salary? i think so.

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familiariscanis · 7 months

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i was thinking recently about dazai with chronic pain. dazai who spent his entire youth behaving recklessly, who was injured frequently and never let himself heal properly because didn't really care about the consequences and why would he? long-term consequences don't matter when you're convinced that you're going to die before you become an adult.

but he didn't die. he's not dying yet. he's still around. dazai, who never thought he'd reach the age twenty finds himself turning twenty-five. finds himself getting even older still. twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight. the age thirty is a shockingly real possibility now for this man who was certain he’d die in childhood.

dazai finds himself with more life than he knows what to do with and a body that's been broken too many times to ignore. he hates pain and he's never wanted to live and yet here he is, with a constant daily pain and a life too full of people he doesn't want to leave. he wants to walk away and to find oblivion but he can’t make himself go. there’s always someone who needs him, always something he still wants to do.

his hands aren’t so deft anymore, can’t be trusted the way they could before. he takes longer to lockpick his way out of handcuffs. there’s a stiffness in his fingers he cannot shake off. he throws himself around like he always used to, or gets himself thrown around, and finds it’s a challenge to pick himself back up.

he’d always thought that a life that just keeps going endlessly, full of pain and obligations and everyday difficulties would be the worst sort of fate, and here he is. and somehow, it’s not as bad as he expected it to be.

#obligatory text post tag #thinking emoji #that art of dazai w/ a cane did something to my brain #also just the thought of dazai living and constantly choosing to live #even though he doesnt always want to #there’s enough keeping him anchored…

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marshymoss · 1 year

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BSD 107 SPOILERS

//SPOILERS!! AHHHHH!!!! I'm putting my thoughts here because I have a moot on Twitter that I don't want to spoil things for....

OK. SO. You know how Dazai is Not having a good time rn.... like bro is seeing the pearly gates. And Chuuya (who is not in control of his own body) is on his way to kill him via Fyodor's orders.

NOW, many people, including myself... ARE SO EXCITED FOR THIS SKK REUNION!!! like... so many monumental things abouta possibly happen. SUCH AS (list off the top of my head): 1. Chuuya bite Dazai vampire style and that nullifies the curse. Aha. i can imagine the edits now. (and to see that animated at some point.. ough) 2. Skk beats up Fyodor double black style ;) 3. Skk bantering that we have missed so so so much 4. Chuuya potentially faking being vampire, lifting his hat up, and looking at Dazai... "You missed me?" OR "You look like shit. Almost makes me forgive you for that stunt you pulled with the water." 5. Dazai being carried princess style by Chuuya ahhahahtg73849ewk 6. Now, what me personally wanna see.... Chuuya BOOKING it down the halls trying to get to Dazai in time. I don't think this will happen because the shock value of seeing Chuuya actually faking being vampire wouldn't be as good. BUT OH BOY AM I IMAGINING IT. 7. oh and Chuuya having his own flashbacks ab their relationship too!!

IM SO EXCITED FOR JULY YALL. EEK.

Now, I don't think Dazai is going to die. But. It a possibility that we cannot ignore.... and I've got some angst that it can cause. Like. Agh. This is the reason I'm making this post; I want to shock others with fear. Fear that I don't want to suffer through alone. NOW, MY ANGSTY LIST FOR HOW THIS SKK INTERACTION MIGHT PLAY OUT:

Fyodor calls back vampire Chuuya (Sigma situation) and he doesn't make it to Dazai in time and Dazai dies Alone. (I don't think this is going to happen at like. All. But it could! Maybe!)

Turns out Chuuya is faking being vampire, but he gets to Dazai and it's too late to do anything (poison kicks in, bro bleeds out, etc.) He dies in his arms! ^^

Chuuya is forced to activate corruption, Dazai can't save him because BROKEN LEGS and both Chuuya and Dazai die (i will stop reading bsd.

Chuuya kills Dazai as a vampire, the curse isn't nullified (FYODOR is the one who sent Chuuya there afterall) and this is when we get Really Angsty: (1) It's obvious that Chuuya and Dazai care for each other on some level, even if you don't ship them. Chuuya would be killing somebody that he cares about, and he would probably blame himself for it. Dazai is somebody that he has known for SEVEN YEARS!! That shit would HURT!! The sheep, flags, all of his subordinates that have died on the field, now Dazai. (2) NOW as for DAZAI!! If I remember correctly, Dazai says something along the lines of "Everything I want I lose" or something like that, right?? Now. Imagine this. Dazai, someone who craves death and constantly tries to commit suicide, dies. OK so what?? No. I think that Dazai very much wants to try and stay alive, it's hinted at multiple times (15 novel, his character song, a much happier life with the ADA in contrast to the mafia, etc.). Let's circle back to what I said earlier, "Everything I want I lose." Dazai goes full circle from wanting to die -> wanting to live -> dying. It hurts and it would prove what Dazai thinks/thought is right!! Everything he wants, he can't have! (Also, cherry on top. He hates pain!! He would be dying a very, very painful death. He even says that he is in a lot of pain in the chapter) OK, ONE AGAIN I DONT THINK CHUUYA OR DAZAI IS DYING!!! im sorry. lets.. focus on the positives!!! Sskk reunion yayyy! (it's also really painful to think about them)

#bsd #bungo gay dogs #bungo stray dogs manga #bungo stray dogs #dazai #chuuya #bungou stray dogs chuuya #soukoku #bsd 107 #bsd manga #im sorry yall

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iwritenarrativesandstuff · 2 years

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Actually, I had this thought about Akutagawa in the latest chapters, specifically concerning the cliffhanger where he is ordered to kill Aya.

We see Rashoumon pierce fabric but I doubt that Aya was actually killed or harmed in any way, which means Akutagawa must be resisting the vampire brainwashing.

I think the sskk dynamic might play a part here.

I think we've already seen that resistance is possible with Chuuya - look at the panels with him as a vampire: he's visibly sweating and panting from exertion, but he's not doing anything that should have him quite that exhausted. I really do think the implication here is that Chuuya is trying to fight back.

And then there's the whole speech Dazai gives to Chuuya which is... really something, and I could definitely talk about that a lot, but that's not the point of this post. The point is, it seems specifically designed to reach out to Chuuya by making him emotional - mostly by winding him up to make him angry enough to finally fight off the vampirism. Chuuya's eyes even seem to clear a bit in that scene! (We'll see if it actually worked... someday. Ten years from now...)

So, what about Akutagawa? Well, I haven't seen anyone bring up this possibility yet (maybe someone has and I just haven't found it) but there was a fair amount of sskk content right before Akutagawa was killed. These two tend to go through some relationship development each arc, and yet there was no real payoff for the interaction in this arc - at least not yet.

But boy, is there set up. Atsushi learns in quick succession that Akutagawa

is dying from a lung disease

the above contextualizes why he so desperately wants Dazai's approval before he dies

has kept his promise not to kill anyone for six months (! this is important!)

Akutagawa meanwhile is handed the opportunity to finally kill Atsushi by Fukuchi's offer and... doesn't take it. Fukuchi asks if Atsushi's life means that much to him and we get a significant close up of both their reactions.

Of course, Akutagawa's actions in this chapter were still heavily motivated by impressing Dazai but this situation brings up the possibility of... maybe he does care about Atsushi in some capacity. But we get no confirmation of this because Akutagawa is killed shortly afterwards, leaving Atsushi to wonder about his actions and their significance (along with the audience).

Atsushi doesn't know yet that Akutagawa was turned, and I find it unlikely that he's going to get out of his situation with Teruko fast enough to intervene directly. But there is an indirect way Atsushi's words may aid Akutagawa in fighting off the brainwashing.

I am, of course, talking about the promise he made to Atsushi.

Thing is, we've only seen Akutagawa turn people ever since he was infected, not kill them. Higuchi was just bitten, Jouno was already dying - this seems deliberate. I could be wrong about this but the vampires don't seem undead to me, they're more like monsters - what's more, it's an ability that can be neutralized, and the people restored (...I assume).

But now, Akutagawa is ordered to kill and he... hits fabric. No blood spatter. I've seen some theories that Aya being a child might've triggered him to resist, but I'd like to bring up the possibility that it's actually the no killing promise that will instigate it. Akutagawa has kept his word so far. He hates the idea of losing to Atsushi, just as Atsushi hates the idea of losing to him. Do you really think he'd take "oh I was brainwashed so it doesn't count" as an excuse? No way. This is a direct challenge from his rival, who he desperately wants to one up.

It'd be an interesting turning point for his character because we know Akutagawa actually really listens to what Atsushi is saying to him (see the aftermath of the Akutagawa vs Hawthorne and Mitchell fight if you want to see a really good example of what I mean). And if he chooses to fight back based on Atsushi's words, it would be based off a choice he made himself to honour that promise - something that isn't directly based off Dazai's approval. It'd additionally recontextualize the earlier question posed by Fukuchi - if Atsushi's words are starting to matter to Akutagawa in some way, then so too is Atsushi as a person, since those words are born of something Atsushi personally believes in.

Besides, the entire point of the promise was that Akutagawa might learn something from it. The value of a human life, maybe? Especially that of an innocent child's. Maybe even his own.

I could be way off base here but I think it'd be neat if this is the direction the story took.

Just imagine we get Chuuya fighting off the vampire infection at Dazai's words and Akutagawa fighting it off at Atsushi's.

I think this would be both satisfying character wise and equally hilarious.

#akutagawa voice: 'failing a challenge from the jinko? unacceptable'#'what do you mean am i fond of him? this is spite'#i'm probably totally off but whatever #theorizing is the only thing tiding me over as i wait for more content #bsd #bsd meta #is this meta? idk #bsd analysis #bsd akutagawa #bsd atsushi #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #sskk #shin soukoku #a little bit of #skk #soukoku #ok i'm going to post this before i psych myself out any further #storyrambles

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karmicpunishment · 9 months

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KARMIE BELOVED hear me out. ada minecraft server.

kyouka keeps taming animals (no one can bear to hit her. what if the dogs get mad at them. what if they have thorns armor. WHAT IF IT MAKES HER SAD.) and she is simply accompanied by a pack at all times

atsushi is still learning how to play and he builds these ugly-ass houses like we all did starting out but hes so proud of them (as he should be)

i was torn on dazai but i think it would be funny is hes so so bad at minecraft. he keeps walking off of inclines and dying bc he doesn't pay attention to his healthbar. he insists hes just playing on a higher level (hes actually rlly good at pvp and uses that for shenanigans but general play? he sucks so bad)

alternatively i think kunikida should be really good when he does play bc it would annoy dazai so much. i think he builds really nice houses and insists the game is just math but doesn't even play that often bc too much time gaming is unhealthy (it infuriates dazai that hes so competent despite barely playing)

i think ranpo plays exclusively for the chaos. he and dazai are a terrible combination (for everyone else) but also extremely funny. also i think he breaks minecraft in insane ways for fun when he gets bored and its a tossup whether the rest of the server suffers or benefits bc of it

tbh i think yosano should go feral in minecraft? like i think she should steal good gear from whoever has it and go kill to her heart's content. u cannot tell me she doesnt have insane amounts of repressed fury i think she should relieve that stress by going on adventures where she kills whatever she finds. yosano should 1v1 the warden powered by sheer spite i think

i think fukuzawa would not really understand minecraft?? but he gets on the server sometimes to spend time with the other members and has a minecraft cat that follows him everywhere (it took so many fish to tame. he worked so fucking hard for that ok)

OH MY GOD KENJI. I FORGOT HIM. THE BOY. i think hes so excited to play with everyone :) he can't build but he collects animals like kyouka and also provides the majority of the food for the other server members. hes like me fr just out here making massive farms of food and also collecting soo many farm animals in pens (he insists on not overcrowding the animal pens)

anyway i will end this by saying rip tanizaki hes the only remotely normal player on this fucking minecraft server

HI PAT!!! and yes yes yes to all of this

kyouka as an animal hoarder tamer is so cute and so real. kenji definitely does this too and yeah he'd totally make Massive farms. ranpo tells him he could make automated ones with redstone and he finds that amazing but also much rathers to just do it himself. they have huge buildings dedicated just to the animals they've collected and basically every name tag someone finds goes towards naming them all.

atsushi would 100% start out building the ugliest houses fr...all the dirt 4x4s and then the wooden box houses. he gradually gets better until hes a pretty decent builder. i feel like he'd also be the type to just get utterly lost in the game lol both in terms of directions (but he always writes down his coordinates) but also like he'd look up at the clock and realize he's spent 3 hours mining.

dazai being an utter disaster at the game is so funny to me. he's not allowed to go mining by himself because he will just die in a random cave and lose everything (also not allowed in the nether for similar reasons). he would be the type to purposefully hit a zombie pigmen just to make his fellow players lives worse lmao. the first thing someone gives him on the server is feather falling boots because he keeps walking off tall places (half the time on purpose the other half are complete accidents) it just makes him walk off things more but at least he's dying less because of it. he's an expert at setting up in game pranks though (usually on kunikida, the poor guy)

kunikida being great at minecraft is so near and dear to me now. i feel like he played the game a lot as a kid because lets be honest, its perfect for him but then kinda fell out of playing it as he got older. and then one of his students from when he was an assistant teacher reminded him of it and he got back into it. he definitely plays for like a couple a week to destress on his own private world where he has the most insane builds. he also is totally a resource gatherer/hoarder too, he's always giving the others supplies (though giving is a strong word, half of them just steal from him).

ranpo is also a disaster in minecraft i feel. he could build insane things but he doesn't have the patience for it honestly. same with redstone stuff, like he gets it but he doesn't usually take the time to do it. he's absolutely awful at pvp though and he gets lost ALL the time. he is the perfect person to go to when trying to find a special area or material, he always knows what someone needs. i also feel like he'd like potion making, idk why. he also really enjoys insane mod packs (though he makes other people install them for him)

yosano would totally be an insane pvp'er. she enjoys the other aspects of the game too but she gets the most enjoyment spending her nights beating mobs. she's not much of a builder but she does like to spend some time decorating the inside of ppl's bases. she's the kind of player to set off withers to defeat on her own for fun. she also plays bedwars lol and is a beast at it.

fukuzawa definitely has just a nice little house with like 5 cats in it. he logged on the first day of the server and then maybe like 3 times since but its okay. and absolutely no one is allowed to touch his house, under threat of ranpo's chaos lol. also no one really wants to destroy the presidents house, it just feels wrong.

tanizaki is just a fairly well-rounded player, like his builds aren't amazing but they're nice, he's decent at combat, he likes resource gathering etc. i feel like he and naomi have like several worlds of their own that they've kept up with for years at this point, with just like sprawling cities worth of builds. his favorite things to do in the game are probably just going on long journeys to find new biomes and fishing lol

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ashleyh713fanfics · 25 days

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Dazai X Odasaku's Sister CH14

Chapter 13: "He Doesn't Want To Be Saved”

Summary: As Odasaku's sister tries to find a way to make up for Dazai's missed birthday, she learns that it might not be so simple. Because why would a boy so intent on dying ever want to celebrate living?

Warnings: pm!sixteen year old dazai, suicide mentions, guns, manipulation on both sides, odasaku death mentions, dazai being a simp, protective ango

(This is chapter fourteen of my fanfic "Timeless" which is now on A03. I'll link the master list below so you can get the full story. Asagao's ability is to stop time for up to six seconds.)

Master List Here

A03 Here

Work Count: 6k

Ango placed a hand up to his face before rubbing his temple in order to quell the dull pain that resided there. This was the fourth week in a row that he had spent in his office alone and the man was starting to get used to the dim and windowless walls around him.

The tasks in front of him were extensive, they always were for his line of work and the process had become a force of habit lately for the man. It was easier that way, working himself into the ground in order to keep his mind off his deceased best friend and the mistakes he regretted every step of the way.

Because in some sort of sick way the agent still believed that he was partly responsible for Odasaku’s death. Maybe not directly but he was a spy in the port mafia, he still betrayed Dazai and Oda by telling the government all their secrets, the ones that he promised to keep. He lied, he betrayed them in the worst possible way and Ango knew he didn’t deserve forgiveness.

And then there was Asagao.

It had been almost an entire year since he last saw her in person but the government check ups he ordered seemed to show that she was doing fine adjusting to Yokohama.

And he promised himself that he would be there for her, that he would take on that brotherly/ paternal role that Oda couldn’t do anymore but who was he kidding? He wasn’t equipt for that kind of thing. He never liked kids, and now he was responsible for the most important thing in the universe? How could he possibly be worthy of such a thing?

In a twisted way, he couldn't help but look at her as an atonement, a penance for his past crimes. Because maybe if he kept her safe then the universe would forgive him as well, maybe he could finally have a good night's rest without the consent guilt on his back.

But he knew it was wrong to look at her that way, to only see her as a bargaining tool of his own psyche. How despicable of him. She had nothing to do with all of this. Asa was just a lost sixteen year old child that needed guidance.

And though he was sure he wasn’t equipped for that, Ango knew he had to try.

He couldn’t fail anyone else, especially Odasaku’s little sister

Sighing to himself, Ango then reached his office door before opening the surface and pausing at the familiar sight of crimson across his vision. “Ah, there you are! I’ve been waiting for ages. This is bad Ango, this is really really really bad! You gotta help me!”

Almost immediately, the man felt his mind turn blank with confusion, watching the frazzled and fidgety Asagao race up to him in clear distress.

And though he should’ve focused on many things, the only thing that he could comprehend was her cry for help.

Oh no, what could’ve happened? She looked so scared and helpless like this. Did someone try to hurt her? Did something happen that the government reports didn’t pick up on?!

Ango then reached forward in order to place a firm hand on her shoulders and stop her jumpy body language.

No, it didn’t matter what happened, he would fix it. He had to. Anything to make sure she was safe. “Asa..h-hey..it’s okay..what happened..?”

The girl only shook her head though, causing Ango to grip onto her even tighter, a sense of dread in his voice. “It’s okay, you can tell me. Does it have something to do with Dazai?”

Asagao then nodded her head sadly, causing the agent’s blood to boil. He knew this would happen, he knew that allowing her to hang around a destructive force like Dazai was a horrible idea. He could only imagine how he hurt her.

That selfish little boy, how dare he hurt the last remaining piece of Oda in this world. He didn’t care if the two used to be friends, Ango wouldn’t forgive him for ignoring his warnings.

Just then, he saw her lips start to quiver in reply, Asagao’s hand moving up in order to weakly grasp onto his buttoned down work shirt as Ango leaned in closer with anxiety at the sound of her voice.”Ango..I..I..”

Feeling his heart twist and turn at the sound of her broken little tone, the agent frowned, ready to tear down the entire city in response.

Oh my god, how bad could it be? What possible could’ve had her acting like this?

Ango’s mind then began to run rampant, already coming up with a list of people to call and documents to get in order to take Asagao away from Yokohama. Sure, it would be tricky but he could do it, he could get her away from..

Yet that’s when Asagao finished her sentence, a whine etched in her throat. “I missed Osamu’s birthday..!”

…..what?

Almost immediately, the agent felt his mind stop, his own eyes blinking in disbelief as he tried to process the ridiculous statement. That’s what this was about? She wasn’t hurt, she wasn’t in danger? All of that, for a missed birthday? Oh, you have got to be kidding me.

Forcing his hands to fall from her shoulders, Ango’s lingering headache seemed to return ten fold, his fingers reaching up to the sight with a groan. He really was worried for nothing.

Although now that his panic had passed, more questions seemed to appear in his mind. “Hold on, how did you even get in here?”

Asagao only turned her head in reply, like the answer was obvious. “Through the door, duh. You're so silly Ango, how else would I do it?”

Ango deadpanned though, knowing it wasn’t that simple. “You know that’s not what I mean. This is a government owned building. There are extensive levels of security. You can’t just..”

Realization seemed to flash on her face then, Asagao clapping her hands up before wiggling a finger in air quotes at the man’s direction. “Oh yeah! That reminds me, you should really look into that. It’s not as “secure” as you think it is.”

At that, Ango couldn’t help but widen his eyes in horror.

Wait, did that mean what he thought it meant? Did this girl just break into a high level government building and illegally gain access to his office just to tell him a stupid statement like that? Forgetting a birthday, that’s what constituted committing a literal crime?!

She was insane, literally insane. What if she got caught, what if things didn’t go as planned? Then she would’ve been in prison for something so incredibly stupid.

Feeling a sharp shiver run up his spine, Ango then looked at the goofy unbothered smile on her lips only to thank the gods that Asagao wasn’t evil or else he knew he would’ve been screwed.

To have her as an enemy, he imagined it was probably just as bad as having Dazai as an enemy.

Asagao seemed to notice his disapproving stare though, her hands going up in defense before frowning. “Hey don’t look at me like that. I tried doing things legally but the people out front wouldn't let me in and this is really important, Ango! I couldn't wait!”

The man only let his shoulders fall in defeat, already utterly exhausted from this conversion. He knew that she was spazzy and strange but this thought process was way more messed up then Odasaku ever was. She was like the man turned up to a million.

If only her brother was here, because right now the agent felt like he was clearly in over his head. “I don’t even know where to begin with that statement..”

Walking over to his desk, Ango stumped into the chair only for Asagao to turn around to place her hands on the surface in reply. “Come on Angoooo, we are getting off topic. I’m really at a loss here, that’s why I came to you in the first place. You’re the only grown up I know and I really need someone to talk to about this. Pleaseee?”

Then to add dramatic effect, the girl practically draped herself over his desk in order to bat her eyes as innocently and sweetly as possible, making Ango’s heart hesitate with guilt.

Damn it, why did she have to say that? Why did she need to bring up that he was the only reliable adult she had in her life? How could he possibly turn her away now? Even though her methods were foolish, scolding her wouldn’t change that she had searched him out.

Sighing to himself, Ango then closed his eyes before speaking apprehensively. “Alright, fine. What do you mean you missed Dazai’s birthday?”

Then almost immediately, Asagao’s expression brightened up in order for her to snap back up with a clap of excitement, almost like she had planned her pathetic little act purposely to make him cave.

But that was crazy, right?

Not giving him time to think though, Asa spoke. “Right, so we were talking and the conversation came up but then when I asked him about his birthday Osu said that it was six months ago. He told me not to worry about it but how can I? I’m his girlfriend and I couldn’t even have the decency to wish him a happy birthday. Ah, I’m the worst, aren’t I?”

Yet Ango couldn’t help but catch something else in her explanation, red flags immediately going off as his head snapped up. “Hold on, didn’t you say that your relationship is in name only? You just called yourself his girlfriend.”

The way she said it, it seemed so natural and that was something that worried Ango immediately. He was only okay with Dazai and Asa’s relationship if it was surface level. But this didn’t sound surface level anymore. And that scared him.

He then watched the girl pause before shaking her head to will away the idea. “Girlfriend, fake girlfriend whatever..you’re missing the point, Ango. This isn’t about that. Anyways, like I was saying I just..”

Ango only cut her off though only, his tone sharp. “You’re not getting attached are you?”

Practically jumping in her skin, he then watched Asa hesitate once more before stuttering out a reply. “W-What, no. Of course not. Osamu and I aren’t like that. Our “relationship” is by convenience, that’s all. I told you that. We use each other to get closer to Oda.”

Sure, that’s what she told him but relationships change. Surface level things become deeper without warning and that was something that Ango needed to shut down the moment he sensed it.

And the way she was looking at Ango right now was the man's worst fear. Her voice cracked on the first part of her reply, which meant that he had struck something unknown.

Not letting her wiggle out of this one, the man refused to break eye contact with her. “If that is the case, then why are you so worried about such a trivial thing?”

Not understanding, Asa scoffed. “What are you talking about?”

Yet Ango simply gave her the hard truth, whether she wanted it or not. “Dazai’s birthday has nothing to do with Odasaku. You know that, and yet you break into my office because of it. Why?”

It was a flaw in her story, one that the man couldn’t help but notice. Because if Dazai and her were really using each other for convenience and for Oda’s memory then why had she broken into a government facility and risked imprisonment for something that had had nothing to do with their original promise?

Watching her stumble on her words, Asa filtered with her hands “Well…because..”

Ango spoke over again though, his accusation throwing her completely off guard. “Asagao, please tell me you haven’t fallen for him.”

That was his worst fear, for Dazai to latch his greedy little claws into her so much so that she could never escape. He could so easily wrap her around his finger and make her do unspeakable things with the guise of love and Asa would know none the wiser.

He could wreck her, destroy her until she was a shell of herself and this poor girl would thank him for it.

No, that couldn’t happen. If that was the case then he would have to go back to original plan and drag Odasaku’s sister out of Yokohama as quickly as possible.

But it seemed like the idea hadn’t even crossed her mind, Asagao’s face immediately turning a bright red in order to flap her arms around in distress. “W-What?! No, no no it’s not like that. I haven’t..I didn’t even..that’s not...you're wrong. I just wanted to do something nice for him. You know, because of all the things he did for me.”

And for Asagao, the agent’s acquisition wasn't something she could comprehend. What was he saying, that she was in love with Osamu? What kind of crazy idea was that? Of course it wasn’t like that.

Love? How could she possibly be worthy of such a thing with him? He didn’t even know her. Sure, maybe they weren’t strangers anymore but Osamu didn’t have the connection that Asagao had. He didn’t have years worth of letters to go off of.

He knew her from the last year they had been together but even Asa knew not to get carried away by their relationship. Osamu would never have the bond that she had for him, and that was okay. She didn’t expect him to.

Ango was getting carried away, there was no way things could be like that. Osamu would never fall in love with a freak like her, she knew that. That’s why the idea had never crossed her mind.

The way they were now, it was enough for her.

She couldn’t expect more.

Sucking in a heavy breath, Asa then closed her eyes in order to calm her erratic heartbeat before answering his question. “You asked me why I’m so worried about such a silly little thing? Well because it's important. That’s why. Everyone deserves to celebrate their birthday, even Osamu. Thinking that he let the day pass all alone, without anyone knowing, it doesn’t feel right..”

Asagao then watched a vivid memory cross her closed eyes, causing her expression to crunch up with sadness. “Especially since I know what that’s like.”

She could still remember the feeling, every holiday and day lingering past her each year as she sat alone in her room and read her brother’s letters for a sense of warmth. No, she didn’t want Osu to have to feel that, so lonely and insignificant. It was painful.

And it seemed Ango even knew what she had meant by that statement, his stern gaze softly with painful guilt in order for his shoulders to slump with understanding.

Perhaps he read this all wrong, she was just trying to do a good thing for his old friend.

So much so, the agent then sighed to himself before standing from his desk in order to place a warm hand to Asa’s head with a reassuring smile “You don’t have to look so guilty about it. Dazai told you not to worry about it, right?”

He hated how personally she took such a small mistake, that she blamed herself for her inability to predict every little thing. It was the biggest flaw she had, burdening herself with everyone else’s problems and calling them her own.

Although her topic of conversation still struck something interesting as well, Ango’s mind wandering back to their nights at Bar Lupin and finding a gap. “But now that I think about it, Dazai never brought up his birthday to Odaskau or me, not once.”

At that, Asa couldn’t help but look up. Now we were getting somewhere. “Why do you think he never brought it up?”

Ango only shook his head though, not having the answers she was looking for. Odasaku was always better at reading that boy than him. “I don’t know, I imagine it just never interested him..”

The man then frowned before whispering mostly to himself. “I mean, for a kid so intent on dying, why would he want to celebrate another year of living?”

Then all at once, Asagao felt her eyes widen in heartbreaking realization. She had never thought about that before but Ango was right. Osamu wanted to die, he wanted to leave this world by his own volition. That was his end goal.

And the idea of a birthday was about the exact opposite. It was soaked in life and celebration, everything that Dazai Osamu absolutely despised.

After his many suicide attempts, after the world rejected to take him, she was sure that his birthday was like the equivalent of a slap in the face.

Because every year that passed was a failure to him, it marked another eternity stuck on this earth, almost like the day of his birth was continuing to mock him for being unable to finish the job.

No wonder why he looked withdrawn when she mentioned it. Asa probably brought back that rejection tenfold without meaning to. That’s why he brushed it off and told her to drop it.

Damn it, now she felt even worse than before.

There had to be something she could do to make him feel better.

Lowering her eyes in silent thought, Ango then broke through the silence, his words laced with warning. “I know that face. Stop it. I know you mean well but getting wrapped up in Dazai’s suicidal tendencies will do you no good. It will end in disaster and you're just going to get hurt like that.”

Asa only shook her head though, hating that he was right. Osamu’s world was so dark and sad, laced with loneliness and misery she could never understand. His desire to die surely stemmed from a mix of horrible experiences and feelings that he kept locked tight to himself.

Feeling her shoulders slump in defeat, the girl was at a loss. “I just want to help him, is that so bad?”

Ango only softened though, his hand landing on her shoulder with a sad smile. “No, it’s not. I want to also, but it’s not that simple. You have to understand that Dazai’s been like that for a long time, even longer than Odasaku or I have known him. Any attempt to fix what’s broken is long gone.”

Asagao slumped her head down at that, her blurry uncertain eyes boring to the floor.

She would never be able to understand it, not fully. What made him like this?

Because while she saw the good and the possibilities of beauty Asa knew that Osamu was the complete opposite. His life had only provided him with awful memories, memories that have always been incomprehensible to her.

But even still, she couldn’t help but catch glimpses of his past every once and a while. The way he would become strangely quiet and stare out Oda’s window silently while she slept, the way his eyes would narrow in deep thought when they watched a movie or the way he would flitch and tense when she tried to touch anywhere but his bandages.

Something in his life had broken him, far beyond repair.

And Asagao wasn’t stupid, as knew that crying to him or begging the boy not to kill himself was pointless. He was too far gone for that. The idea of suicide had been ingrained into every one of his cells, suffocating him and making him see no other option.

After years of suffering, how could she possibly change any of that?

Still not wanting to believe it, Asa grasped for anything she could find, anything that would heal his broken mind. “But..I..”

Yet that’s when Ango cut her off, his voice serious. “Asagao.”

Looking up from her spot on the floor, the agent finished sadly. “He doesn’t want to be saved.”

And that broke the final straw of hope that she had, the girl crumbling down internally as her entire face fell.

Ango was right. Dazai didn’t want to be saved. This whole birthday thing was a part of a larger much deeper scale, one that she couldn’t fix no matter how hard she tried.

But could it really be? Could she really not do anything? Even after he gave her so much, even after Osamu’s presence calmed her heart back home.

Right now was she truly utterly useless to him?

Searching for an answer, Asa whispered. “If my brother were still here, what would he have done?”

Ango knew the answer immediately, although it wasn’t the one she wanted. “He would’ve dropped it. Odasaku knew better than to dive too deep into Dazai’s problems and so should you.”

Drop it? Really? Oda saw this sad broken little boy and he just ignored his problems? He never brought it up or tried to fix it, not once? He pretended like they weren’t there and went on drinking with Dazai like nothing was wrong? How could he stand that?

Shaking her head, something about that sentence didn’t seem right. “But that’s what everyone else in his life has done. That’s what he’s grown up with, that’s what he probably expects..”

Just then, Asagao paused, the words getting lost in her throat before her eyes widened with realization. “I get it.”

Why hadn’t she seen it before? Why didn’t she realize that? How could she have been so stupid? Oh, she needed to get to work quickly. There wasn’t much time.

Then Ango watched the red haired kid immediately turn towards the door only for him to chase after her. What did that mean? She wasn’t about to do something dangerous, was she?

Because that was something he wasn’t going to allow. “Wait, where are you going now?”

Turning around immediately, Asagao answered back, her voice rushed and manic, like she was trying to process her thoughts by the second. “You’re right, Ango. Empty words mean nothing to him, and maybe backing off would be easier but that’s not going to fix anything. Telling him not to die, that’s not what he’s looking for.”

Ango still looked completely lost though, causing Asagao to groan in frustration before connecting the dots for him. “Don’t you see? Osamu doesn’t want to be saved, he wants to be noticed.”

Lifting her hands out in explanation, Oda’s sister continued. “How many years has Osu been alone, how many times has he let his birthday pass because he simply believes that no one will care and no one will hear him? He’s given up because he realized that it’s easier for everyone else to ignore him than to acknowledge his suffering..”

Of course, of course that’s what it was. He didn’t want someone to pull him from the ledge, he wanted someone to notice that he went up to the roof in the first place. How many years had he been ignored, looked over, and passed off because of his inability to be understood?

So much so that at some point down the line, Osamu stopped calling out, he stopped waiting for someone to see him and just buried himself in the darkness, not seeing a point in trying anymore.

That’s why he didn’t bring up his birthday, because he thought that no one would care, that no one would ever acknowledge the fact that he was alive and struggling with the wish not to be.

Oh, how lonely and isolating that must have been for him, to have given up hope.

The ideology that her brother and Ango shared, it was only part of the problem. Ignoring his pain wasn’t going to make it go away.

And perhaps acknowledgment it wouldn’t fix it either, but at least it would show Dazai that she was looking at him, that she saw him.

He wasn’t alone, she would walk right beside him for as long as she was able.

Because of that, for the first time in her life, Asagao couldn’t agree with her brother’s choice. ”But I will always acknowledge it, I won’t ignore it like my big brother. I refuse to let him suffer alone.”

Balling her hands into fists with determination, the girl then turned around in order to leave only to hear Ango’s voice once more. “Why? Why are you pushing yourself so hard for him? Dazai isn’t the kind of person that would ask you to do this.”

Asagao only nodded her head though fully aware of that. “I know.”

She knew Osamu wouldn’t have expected such a thing for her, but that’s why she had to do it more than anything else. Because he was worth it, and although he may have not believed it, he deserved only the absolute best in life.

So what if he never outwardly cried out for help? That just made his desperate silence even more prominent.

Ango then watched Oda’s sister pause by the door, her hand on the side of the frame as her next words caused a ring of newfound clarity to appear in his eyes.

“But those are the kinds of people that need it the most.”

--------

Turning the lock to Odasaku’s apartment, Dazai happily skipped inside in order to throw his usual black jacket on the floor and kick off his shoes with a holler. “Asa-chan! Your favorite person is here!”

Almost as if on cue, the girl herself came racing to the entryway, her face the epitome of sunlight as she waved towards him. “Oh, Osu! You’re just in time. I’m almost done with dinner.”

Dazai only hummed at that, already making his way towards the table in the corner as his stomach grumbled with reply.

He never liked eating before but ever since he visited Asa’s place more frequently the boy found himself looking forward to whatever would be waiting for him.

Settling down at his usual spot, Dazai placed his hands onto the table before hearing the soft humming from Asa as she moved through the kitchen causing the boy to close his eyes in contentment.

He hated how relaxed he was in this mutate and normal atmosphere. It contrasted the cold port mafia basement he had that spend the first half of his day in.

In fact, it was like night and day, the boy finally able to un-tense his shoulders and breathe for the first time in hours.

Although that’s when he heard Asa’s voice from the kitchen, just as sweet as always. “Hey, Osamu. Can you do me a favor and close your eyes for a sec? I wanna show you something.”

Lifting his head up with amusement, the boy called back, fully intent on teasing her. “So bold, Asa-chan. You plan on attacking me while I’m defenseless? Although now that I think about it, dying by your beautiful fingers wouldn’t be a bad way to go so I'll allow it.. “

Then as promised, Dazai closed his eyes, leaning back on his arms as wistfully thought about that possibility. He wasn’t kidding when he said he wouldn’t have minded her killing him tonight.

Usually the boy wouldn’t have let his guard down like this with anyone but on the off chance that Asa did betray him the executive knew he’d be okay with it. At least he would die in this nice warm place.

Perhaps she would hum for him while she did it also? That sounded like the prefect way to die.

He then vaguely heard Asagao’s footsteps sound around him before hearing the light behind him click off before she spoke again, anxiety in her tone. “Alright, open them!”

Dazai then did as she asked, opening his eyes before the soft glow of a tiny flame welcomed him, only to look down to find a small circular strawberry cream filled cake below it. But what was this?

Looking up with confusion, the boy then opened his lips only for Asagao to speak above him, her voice rising to a sing-songy tone. “Happy Late Birthday, Osamu!”

And almost instantly the boy was stunned, Dazai not knowing what to say only for Asa to continue in his place. “I know, I know what you’re going to say. But I already missed way too many of your birthdays’ I couldn’t miss another one.”

He then watched her hesitate before reaching underneath her in order to pull out a stack of colorful folded construction paper in order to place it on the table. “Besides, who knows how many of them you’ll be around for before you go. That’s why we should treat every single one as special.”

Then the girl simply slid the stack over to Dazai with a shaky nervous smile as the boy picked up the first one on the pile with confusion. Just what was her plan, and why did she look so anxious for him to look at these?

Although Dazai got his answer the moment he opened the paper, his eyes greeted by a homemade drawing with big huge bubble letters and a short message underneath.

----

Happy 1st Birthday, Osamu

I'm glad you were born.

----

Feeling his fingers turn numb, the boy then quickly closed the sight before immediately reaching for another folded paper, this time in the middle of the stack. No, it couldn’t be. These weren’t, they couldn’t be..

----

Happy 13th Birthday Osamu

This is the year I first heard about you from Oda’s letters and I wouldn’t have in any other way. You gave me so much hope and wonderful feelings. You may have seen this day as a failure but I’m glad you made it another year so I could know who you are.

-----

They were. They were birthday cards. Counting the folded pieces of paper immediately, the boy gasped. Sixteen, there were sixteen cards, one to represent every single year she wasn’t there. She made these for him.

Not knowing how to process the gesture, Dazai stared dumbfounded at the brightly colored pieces of paper. Asa went through so much effort for him, why? He told her to drop it. He wasn’t expecting her to care this much.

No one ever cared this much.

Not knowing if he wanted to continue and yet feeling the desperation to even so, the boy then reached for the final one in the stack with a shaky breath of uncertainty.

-----

Happy 16th Birthday Osamu

I know you want me to forget that I missed your birthday but I simply can’t do that, Osu. Because this is the first year I have the honor of saying to you in person. All the other times I silently spoke it through the letters but this time I’m going to get it right. So, here it goes.

I know how you probably look at this day. You see the failure, the mockery of another year alive but the time we spent together this past year has been a gift to me.

The things that you despise like your very existence or even waking up in the morning to see another day, I can't help but be grateful for them because it means I get the privilege of sharing my life with you for just a little bit longer.

And just as I cherish them, I hope you do too. So much so then when you do finally leave this world you may realize that not everything in life was bad. That someone noticed you when you thought no one ever would.

You are the most important thing to me, Osamu.

Thank you for being alive another year.

----

Once he was done reading, Dazai remained silent, his eyes glued to the page as a heavy wave of emotion coursed through him. It made his throat close up and his chest ache with unspeakable pain by the second.

No one had ever thanked him for being alive before.

These letters, she wasn’t trying to get him to live, she wasn’t shaming his desire to die. No, she had acknowledged his wish and yet thanked him for it.

God, he felt like he couldn’t breathe, like he was dying from his own faltering body. What was wrong with him? Why was his hands shaking on these cards, why was his eyes stinging with pain and his throat closing up against his will?

Asagao on the other hand watched his reactions with anxiety, her fingers flittering under the table before standing up in order to get the rest of dinner.

Perhaps her cards didn’t do much but it was worth a shot, at least he knew she was thinking about him now.

Yet that’s when she felt two arms reach around her waist, pulling her backwards into Dazai’s chest as he buried his messy brown hair into her shoulder in order to hide his expression.

His grip was firm and tight, unable to let her move or turn around, almost like it was on purpose so she couldn’t see his weak and fathering display from just behind her.

Asa didn’t mind though, allowing her body to still as she felt him squeeze her midsection in a silent thank you for not pushing it.

How could she break his rules when he was holding her with such warmth and desperation? She couldn’t, not when he was showing her such a fragile side to himself.

And this was the first time without the blindfold that she had been allowed to witness the crumbling inner boy that was Dazai Osamu.

Of course she couldn’t see him given their position but she could feel his hands and the trembling frantic hold he had as he tried to tether her to the world.

Asagao didn’t argue with that though, happy to be his anchor of hope that life could be a tiny bit better than what it was. He could cling to her as long as he needed to and as tightly as he desired because she wasn’t going anywhere. Not ever.

So much so, the girl then lifted her hand up before lightly touching the hands that were holding her, her fingers tracing over the bare skin as Osamu twitched at the contact before allowing her to rest her palm on top of his lovingly and in absolute silence.

They stood like that for what seemed like forever, listening to each other's shaky breath before Dazai finally muttered under her shoulder. “You think of something too.”

Not understanding, Asa’s hand fell from his before shifting her head in confusion. What was he saying? What was she supposed to think about?

Yet that’s when Osamu spoke again, his head lifting from the safety of her shoulder. “I missed all your birthdays also. So think of something you want to make up for them.”

Feeling her eyes to flash with realization, Asa immediately felt her lips curve into a warm smile. He was trying to meet her halfway, wasn’t he? How sweet. The scary demon prodigy wanted to get her a birthday gift.

Although, just the thought was enough for her, not wanting to step on any toes. “Oh, thank you but I couldn't possibly want anything. Just being with you is enough.”

Dazai only frowned though, immediately twisting his hands around in order to flip the girl so that she was facing him. Why couldn’t she make this easy? He was trying to do something nice for the first time in his life and she wasn’t giving him any ideas.

He couldn’t just live with her choice. Giving her nothing would’ve been like a slap in the face considering the care and time she put into him.

There had to be something she had wanted, something that he could provide.

Yet that’s when his mind flashed back to the couple days ago only for his face to light up with twisted realization. There was one thing he knew she was interested in, something she kept asking him about…

Putting his hands on her shoulders, Dazai then smiled in sick joy before speaking. “Aw come on, Asa-chan. I think we both know that’s not true, there is something you want, something you’ve been bugging me about.”

The then boy paused speaking the words he knew Asagao wouldn’t be able to resist.

“How would you like to play with my dog again?”

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plinko-mori · 1 year

Text

+100 Reasons Why I Love Ougai Mori

There are more but I'm too lazy to share them all

Original idea from sigma.analysis on Instagram!

Spoilers from manga, some light novels... And more

Of course this will be full of my personal opinion

Warning: Long post

Now let's start with the reasons!

1) He shares last name with an actress of a telenovela I love so much (Rubí, Bárbara Mori)

2) His voice (Latin Spanish, English and Japanese)

3) His smirks

4) His hairstyles

5) He knows what he wants

6) His ability, it's great and raises so many questions:

How free is Elise really? Does Elise know where she comes from and the abilities in general? How did Mori discovered his ability? And etc–

7) He is so smart, sad that people sometimes forget it

8) He is SO grey and questionable as a character → his morals, his way of being...

9) His calm energy

10) He can fight and defend himself without Elise

11) He can be scary when he wants to (example: that scene with Lucy)

12) He is so rational and realistic

13) How he changes his mood in one second to the next

14) He's hot (for me)

15) He got me into reading the works from the in real life author

16) His character and ability are GREAT references of works from the in real life author and his life

17) Now Rintarou Mori is my favorite writer thanks to him (as I said in reason 15, the character got me to reading about Rintarou)

18) Ougai is aware of the things he has done

19) ↑ And has a such and acidic and cruel attitude about the barbarities he has done that I love and hate so much

20) His knowledge of medicine and anatomy is frightening and wonderful in a weird way

21) He's so tall compared to me, I love taller people than me sorry (I'm 148 cm tall)

22) He gave me the lesson that a good leader doesn't have to be necessary a good person, and a good person doesn't have to be necessary a good leader

23) He is so badass

24) How similar he is compared to Chuuya's biological dad

25) The "Absolutely no chance!" with Fukuzawa and the punch

26) One of my highest kinnies

27) The way he was introduced in the chapter with Lucy

28) His first appearance with Elise and candle

29) ↑ I still was surprised when Mori goes to a place aND BOOM PORT MAFIA MEMBERS–

30) His pose with the hands supremacy

31) Okay but his attitude with Taneda (poor Ango)

32) His panels drawn by Hoshikawa-sensei

33) His laugh

34) He made a motherfucking big plan which Oda ends up dying and everything fOR A TINY (important) ENVELOPE– He thinks in everything!

35) Amazing antagonist

No, I don't think he's a villain

Yes, I'm too lazy to explain it here

36) The fact that Mori makes Elise disobeys when he wants her to do it even if that makes me want to cry

37) He is so clingy and cloying that I love knowing I'm not the only person like that

38) He's not obsessed with children because he's a pedo and I love that

He stuck himself between wanting to mentor the younger generation to help them grow into their potential and throwing everyone's emotions and desires (including his own) out the window in favour of the """optimal solution"""

He's not a pedo... He just has a weird obsession-favoritism with 12 year old girls and younger

That I can explain it to you using: Works from Ougai, Genetics, Society, Comparing 4 cases with Mori interacting with people + Elise...

39) He is like Perry The Platypus

«Weird old man?

OUGAI MORI THE PORT MAFIA BOSS WEIRD OLD MAN!?»

40) Hard to believe or not, the character helped me a lot to understand myself, comprehend my attitude and accept myself (as a walking red flag) when I was going through a rough time

I was really like "OMG NO I'M NOT LIKE MORI STOP–" and now I'm "Yeah I'm tiny Mori" that's character development my bois

41) He got my attention and I want to know about Thomas Schelling, John Forbes Nash and Henry Kissinger

42) His beautiful messy dark hair

43) How different he is with people and how he is with Elise, I find it so cute (and sad)

44) "Tell me Dazai, why is it your wish to die?" That chat was amazing

45) How different he looks compared to the in real life author

46) How observant and analytical he is

47) He helped Atsushi when he could get out of Lucy's ability by himself!

48) His soft smile when Chuuya accepts his vision of leadership and pledges his loyalty to him

49) In Yosano's backstory and Dazai's backstory... Mori did the same error and didn't learn a shit, you are amazing old man (mockery)

50) Dude how can you project yourself on Dazai and teach him manipulation? You did bad but you taught him many things that ended up helping him– But how can you project yourself in him???

51) I have SO many theories about Mori that I loved doing: His past and reasons why he is like that, why he projected himself on Dazai, why Elise is a child, etc... And his relationship with Natsume

52) I make so many content about him exploring fanon and canon Mori! OCs that either have a good relationship with him or have traumas with him, there's no in between

Some headcanons, random scenarios, etc

53) He's a drama queen sometimes, that's amazing

54) Wan Mori is my mood and my friends are really like Wan Dazai damn [sob]

55) He looks so ugly sometimes I love him

56) He's a (sadistic) doctor but I'm sure he made more damage than healing (that's the thing a doctor does). I'm completely sure of (and love) that irony of the character

57) His friendship with Kouyou

58) His chat with Ozaki after the things with Kyouka was sad for me

He really thought "Hey, this girl has nothing to bind her to the mafia, she's sure to leave, she can do it" but Ozaki chose to stay, to help him. Mori was so honest, didn't hide his emotions and was truly happy to hear that she was going to stay, such an emotional and relatable moment for me

I will not go deep on the dialogue, just the emotions

In the manga it was first a shock scene, just shock... I would say even distrustful of her words

But then his smile was very soft, nodding, maybe proud of the fact that Ozaki feels comfortable in the mafia after he became the leader

In the anime it was the same but with a sad expression, there was more melancholy in his words, his facial expression...

And that's why I cry a lot with that scene

59) He loves the city, he wants to protect it so much even if that's really hard to see...

Aww cute thing of the old man

60) His organization means so much for him, the PM is more than "a group of people" to him, I love how he takes care of them, how he seeks, acts and does everything possible for their wellness

Also he's really like «My bois, my people, I want the best of you but please don't act like idiots when I'm not looking– Omg you're just doing it! Damn I will fix everything because this is a disaster, and I hate disasters»

61) Just the fact, only the fact, that he throws everyone's emotions and desires (including his own) out the window in favour of the """optimal solution"""

62) He is aware to the fact that Osamu is superior to him in some things (predict future actions and be many steps ahead compared to the rest) and he accepts it

Ougai (in my point of view) is just irritated that he doesn't have Dazai at his side to use him, but he leaves it that way, he sees his reality, and accepts it but hates it a lot

63) “But doesn't Mori want to have him back to his side?”

Yes, as I said, he is irritated, accepts but hate that fact. He doesn't like it when when things are TOO far out his control, he is stubborn, he is "human" despite being a bastard

64) I appreciate that he kept his promise to Chuuya, Ougai REALLY GAVE HIM THE DOCUMENTS after he became executive when he could easily hide them from Nakahara to the end

Mori did good there, he kept his promise

65) I support that he dislikes dirty things, raw food and mackerel in miso–

SAME MORI SAME

66) One thing that MUST be appreciated:

Even of the traumas, how "evil" Port Mafia is, how bad is Mori, etc– He gives people with no home a place they belong to and where they are accepted

He created a whole good atmosphere for his people you know??? Dude they look comfy there, they don't desperately want to leave the organization (at least most of them, I'm not counting Kyouka and Dazai at all) and they are able to consider themselves a family, see the PM as a home, that is incredible. How close Black Lizard are, Chuuya and Ozaki, Ozaki and Mori, etc

67) He treats people in SUCH different ways I love it

68) He doesn't treat people with the same level of empathy, that's great and so normal... The not-normal thing about his empathy is how he traumatizes people but I'm talking in a people-in-the-real-world context

69) This panel:

How he looks at Natsume

70) He reminds me of many songs from my favorite band! (Set It Off) Such as Duality, Peekaboo, Skeleton... And more

But specially Skeleton

71) Compared to other characters I love: Idc if people hate him, it's great! Mori is a bastard, I don't have problems if you hate him until you obligate me to also hate him

I don't mind if you insult him, when some friends do that I join them because OMG HE DESERVES THOSE WORDS. But go on, hate him, I will not obligate you to love him because it's good that you hate him, just don't obligate me to hate him

72) He's a bastard BUT I STILL LOVE HIM– That thing is really weird in me, right Hisoka from Hunter X Hunter and Adam from SK8? /jk

Okay but actually compared to the rest, I love more Ougai because he's better compared to them

73) He makes the Port Mafia being the less bad option in awful scenarios

74) He also makes HIMSELF the less bad option in awful scenarios

75) How he saw Yosano fall to pieces in front of him because of his own words

That wasn't manipulation, he was literally hurting her because he wanted to...

That's a very shock scene and his face of "I don't give a fuck" omg I love this but hate myself of me liking that

I personally think that he said those things to hurt her on purpose for her to act in a way and/or affect the rest of the ADA that was there

76) He has beautiful eyes (anime)

77) This weird feeling-theory of him wanting to die...

Like dude why do you focus on you dying because of Dazai? Why do you keep torturing Yosano, you know she will end up doing something to you right? You really want that? You want to get hurt that badly? To die?

78) He is REALLY happy in Beast, not fake emotions there

79) Okay in Beast he offered emotional support to a lost teenager by LITERALLY offering to be his dad (+ expressed his past will to save another lost teenager)

AAWWWW MORI I LOVE U

80) He took over a shitty orphanage and made it good in Beast...

Same character, the only differences is where he is + he's 2 years younger

81) His weird "monologues" (like that scene of chess about Aku)

82) Elise treating him like trash, that's amazing AND sad because she has something of him, she's HIS ability! Dude do you see yourself as a trash that hard?

83) He wanted to catch Atsushi to gain the money AND NOT TO KILL HIM, dude that's nice, he didn't want to kill him

84) He isn't afraid of taking innocent lives to increase the Port Mafia's own benefit

85) He has cooperated with ADA <3 (his "enemy")

86) He doesn't punish Ryonosuke even if he disobeys lot of orders. Mori values his skills and contributions to the organization even if he does something that has nothing to do with what he was ordered to do

87) His eyes in the manga are drawing in different (and beautiful) ways... There's the normal ones, the "just black" (like, really just black or similar to black) and darker but not black...

And many shades–

88) A survivor to a war, THE GREAT WAR

89) No matter how high is the risk, Ougai takes that risk and even goes far as to raise the stakes

90) How he made Dazai feel true shock with Q, I love that panel

91) Has the same blood type as me (O)

92) His parallels with Mikoto Souh and Reisi Munakata (leaders of OPPOSING organizations) from K Project

93) Okay but he in the ops–

94) He sees many things as a chess game and how compared to me, chess doesn't give him anxiety

95) He shares birthday with other of my favourite characters, Kajii Motojirou!

96) He's a really mysterious character, we only know a little part of his past... Which is why I do theories about him, yes

97) How we don't know if he knows about Ryonosuke's illness

98) He sucks in throwing darts

99) Literally wrote a message to enemies using CRAYONS

100) I like to understand at least most of the character's mind and mimic him easily!

101) ↑ I also love helping friends with that, it feels amazing

102) We have seen few of his real emotions because most of the time he hides them or fakes them

103) Bro what did he do to Kyouka so only his presence could make her panic?

And Kouyou knows that???? Hi??? I need answers

104) Thank you for sending Kajii and make him do chaos in a boat/yacht/whatever, that was an amazing idea

105) When Mori got sick being close to death, the Port Mafia knowing that killing Fukuzawa could save him, went for that alternative immediately without thinking any consequences...

They love their boss I'm gonna cry

106) He knows the ADA aren't terrorists

107) His weird old doctor clothes

108) His weird dracula leader of the Port Mafia clothes

109) His uniform at the military

110) No trembling, second thoughts or second-guessing and the moment to kill someone (like poor Tachihara's brother)

111) The way in which he uses and attacks with scalpels

112) His hair is easy to draw for me

113) I want to give a hug to this man, dude aren't you stressed at the mafia???

Aren't you tired of people and your ability treating you like trash??? About all of your responsibilities???? You need a rest old man

114) Even if I don't shipp them: The parallels of Kouyou and Mori with Chuuya's biological parents. "Oh, I didn't tell you I'm from the army?" omg they are so close

115) How he scared Tachihara, that hat scene was amazing HE ACTED SO NORMALLY–

116) He always knew about the spies in his organization and let them have close relationships with other members, Ango is a loyal person himself, while Tachihara is now the most loyal member to the mafia, more than Chuuya...

Mori why??? Stop, you are torturing them–

117) His shock in the manga about Francis knowing where the Port Mafia was

118) His chat with Hirotsu about the previous leader

119) Changing his mood from one second to the next

120) There are great AMVs about him in YouTube! (not the shipps ones)

121) When Mori manipulates, he doesn't lie

He gives SOME parts of the information, he strategizes very carefully when, how and where he will reveal information to people

122) He earns Kouyou's royalty by being a better boss than the old boss

123) He earns Chuuya's loyalty by being a better leader with advice to give

124) He almost gets what he wants in return

125) He wanted Fukuzawa to died instead of him (cannibalism arc) because of 2 reasons: Ougai new that his organization would be mad about AND do stupid (destroy) things because of that

He knows them so well–

126) After what Paul did to the mafia, killing some members (Flags), Mori still helped him, hides him from the government aND MADE HIM AN EXECUTIVE-

That's so nice Mori

127) He is IMPORTANT in BSD Beast, the story without his scene hits different you know?

128) The way he manipulates, the way he uses words, the actions he does, how he sees it like a chess game– And he's so calm about it the fuck

129) His different types of smiles I swear

130) He used Ace as a tool because of his money LMAOOOOO

131) LITERALLY has a 3D version

That cosplayer supremacy 🛐

132) He makes mistakes, he isn't perfect, ignoring how he did the same mistake with both Yosano and Dazai, for example: Mori, sweetie, you didn't have to leave Ace in charge of Fyodor, that was a TERRIBLE idea

133) The theory from @/videogamelover99 about Mori related to the Arahabaki project

Specially the real-life connections

134) How Homra Daikazoku fits him and the Port Mafia a lot not only because of the meaning of the song, also because of the context with Homra in K Project

135) I love his ease in sacrificing several of his "pieces" in order to double or triple the damage to his enemy

136) Dude please stop enjoying the fact of people around you fearing you a lot 'cause I'm starting to envy your self-esteem or questionable thoughts as to be SO comfortable with that

137) He takes really serious to keep the balance in Yokohama

138) Vita Sexualis requires strength and energy...

And he uses it MOST of the time wow– How does he do that????

139) I can't say anything of his obsessive AND possessive personality because I'm the same–

Feel ya old man but pls stop

140) His first designs omg

141) I hate dogs, I dislike them a lot but damn I would be his dog and be "WOOF WOOF BARK BARK"

I simp him that hard damn

142) He's one of the few characters that I actually have memorized his voice (without counting seiyuus), the other ones are Undertaker (Kuroshitsuji), Izumo Kusanagi (K Project) and Cherry Blossom (SK8)

143) You can see how times go by on his face, he's physically different from his past self and it shows, specially in his wrinkles

144) This theory in about abuse chain, Akutagawa-Dazai, Dazai-Mori AND (@/amethystroselily) Mori-Natsume

145) "It's necessary to hit the enemy's vital point in one strike"

146) Ougai gives me the same vibes as Vita Sexualis protagonist, daddy and mommy issues + similar personalities you know?

147) "The leader of an organization is at the pinnacle of that organization and, at the same time, he is its slave. The leader must be more than willing to commit any atrocity in order to ensure the organization's survival"

148) THE WAYS KAJII CALLS HIM: Grand Marshal of Outer Space, Outer-space Marshal, Grand Marchal of Space

149) He calls his members by "kun" EXCEPT for Hirotsu, I love that detail

150) Changing his mood from one second to the next

151) "I like this city, its dark, seedier parts included... But parasites like you nauseate me" [dies]

152) The way Elise calls him, I feel sorry for him and laugh at how she insults Mori so much

153) Thank you for giving Arthur a home

154) Thank you for doing exams on Arthur because of his cold because you were worried

155) Love how Ougai can't control Verlaine and take him out if the Port Mafia's basement

156) His "Sakunosuke Oda is risking his life to eliminate a troublesome, violeny group. It's a win-win situation. So why are you so angry?" 'cause he's as blind as me, not all the people don't have problems about ignoring our own emotions–

157) In Stormbringer he was in a place far far away really safe AND OMG THAT CALL WAS AMAZING specially the part like "Oh yes, I can see everything of what's happening" LMAOOOOOO

158) Similar to the author, I have a weird mix of feelings: When I read the author's works (Hanako, Kinka, The Dancing Girl, for giving some examples) I'm in shock, amazed, curious and THE SAME happens with Ougai Mori from BSD

159) He's my blorbo: My favorite character that I can't stop thinking about him, I can't shut up when talking about him and I can't explain how he makes me feel

160) I did many things thanks to the character:

Read the manga, based on that I continue reading things related to BSD, accounts of theories, analysis, I meet people, an ex friend, some close friends I really love a lot...

Because of my fanaticism for him, my life change for better, Ougai and BSD makes me happy, and that's the biggest reason of why I love him

#sorry i can't shut up about my blorbo #blorbo #blorbo from my shows #bsd mori #mori ougai #bsd ougai mori #ougai mori #mori analysis #kinda #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd ogai mori #100 reasons why #100 reasons why i love bsd #100 reasons why i love mori

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