#HIGHLY recommend reading the discussion in the notes

[shewroteaworld]

Unsub Bait

Premise: For the fourth time, brilliant sunshine!reader is asked to bait the unsub. For the first time, Spencer has a problem with this.

Word count: approx. 2,000

Tw: canon-typical discussions of violence

Author's Note: Welcome to the second installment of brilliant sunshine!reader (meaning highly intelligent sunshine!reader) x Spencer Reid! While you don't have to read my first brilliant sunshine! reader fic to understand this one, I would highly recommend reading it. It's titled "I'll Hold Your Weight When You Can't." Hope you enjoy! :) <3

“Here’s an overview of the first phase of the operation: (Y/N) will go undercover as a college student at Yale. She’ll get acquainted with the unsub at Speakeasy, the New Haven bar where he assesses potential victims. We’ll apprehend him in the act of attempted kidnapping.” Hotchner listed for the team.

You’d played unsub lure almost a comical number of times. Once? That’s a once in a million task required to capture a once in a million unsub. Twice? You’d only have two nickels, but it’s weird that it happened twice, right? But four times? 

You’d already joked to Hotch that you should add “professional unsub bait” to your resume. 

It would’ve been more comical if it wasn’t so scary. 

You took a deep breath as you stared at the photos of the victims on the mahogany conference room table. Melissa Grey. Audrey Bernstein. Alivia Johnson. You could see your 21-year-old self in their eyes. You remember being so young and full of anxiety; you were near graduating from MIT. You couldn’t sleep at night from worrying if you had already lived up to your potential and would spend the rest of your years a washed up gifted kid– an academic has–been. After graduation, you proved to yourself your worth.

The college juniors in the photographs had their lives cut short by the unsub before they had the opportunity to find out what amazing places their brilliant minds could take them. You were about to allow said unsub to nearly kidnap you. 

That is, if you didn’t blow your cover. Then, he would hold you hostage or attempt to kill you as soon as possible by skipping his usual "kidnap and torture" routine.

Rationally, you knew your field experience more than prepared you for this task. Also, you knew your team had your back. They always kept you safe and healthy. The one time you were put at serious risk, you had to fight to be left alone after the case closed. But, you’re not sure if all the facts in the world could adequately calm your adrenal glands.

“Is this necessary?” Spencer suddenly interjected.

You turned to Spencer in surprise. “It’s the quickest way. We have twenty-four hours,” You said.

The unsub had a pattern; a girl was dying once every two weeks, and, when the the local and Connecticut police force combined failed to contain the situation, the BAU was brought into the case 36 hours before the next killing. With his eidetic memory, you were certain Spencer couldn't forget the time restraints if he tried, hence why you were stunned by his sudden brazenness. However, given Spencer's traumatic relationship history and your budding romance, Spencer's behavior was a lot more likely.

You and Spencer had been dating for a couple weeks. Despite being certain the team had their suspicions, you kept your relationship on the downlow. Strong boundaries were a good thing to keep when your relationship was in its fragile, formative era. Plus, you both agreed it was best to keep a high level of professionalism. 

This was the first time Spencer broke protocol.

“I think there’s another way.” Spencer continued. “It’s unsafe and illogical to put anyone’s life into considerable risk if there’s another viable option.”

“Are you implying I’m being rash, Reid?” Hotchner asked with a raised eyebrow. 

Usually, Spence would look away and take a breath. He’d at least have the decency to act timid, especially given the fact the entire team pulled multiple all-nighters in an effort to catch this serial killer. Instead, he leveled with Hotchner’s glare and asserted himself further. “I just think we’ve gotten a little too comfy using (Y/N) as an unsub lure. The more we do, the more probable a disaster will occur with her in the line of fire.”

“Spencer,” Morgan cut in gently. There was sympathy in his eyes. “We’ve done this with (Y/N) before. We’re good at reading her. And she knows the drill. We’ll keep her safe.”

“Yes, because that’s something we can certainly guarantee when she’s 3 inches from a serial killer.” Spencer deadpanned. 

“Reid. A word.” Without waiting for Spencer’s reaction, Hotch left the meeting room. With a hard look in his eye, Spencer filed after Hotch. You were relieved he was still obedient despite being ornery.

For a few moments, the team sat in silence. 

Rossi broke the spell with the scrape of his chair. “Well, I for one, am going to take this impromptu intermission as an opportunity to grab coffee. Any requests?” Rossi asked. 

“I’ll take a barbajada.” You joked half-heartedly. 

“Very funny, (L/N). Any requests the office Keurig can complete in less than five minutes?” 

The team rattled off their go-to office drink orders, but it faded to white noise. During your friendship, Spencer would always care for you when you had to lure the unsub. He’d be more attentive on the jet ride in and out. He’d check in on your mental state directly after the unsub was arrested and always called you once you got home. Once, after the particularly stressful unsub encounter, he sent you links to PTSD articles and even offered to help you schedule an appointment with a specialized therapist through the FBI’s mental health services.

But he’d never once intervened with a plan for you to go undercover. You knew Spencer Reid was nothing if not rational. He knew Hotch valued every member of his team. He knew Hotch would never send you undercover if it wasn’t necessary to stop a killing spree before more young women became statistics. 

Therefore, you knew Spencer was thinking about Maeve. 

You stood. 

“Where you going, Beauty Queen?” Morgan asked.

“Just heading to the restroom.” You lied. 

You walked down the hall and crept up the stairs. You tiptoed down the east wing of the second floor to avoid clicking your heels against the concrete. 

You crept to the side of Hotch’s office. You pressed your back to the wall.

Hotch said something indecipherable. An angry Reid answered.

“And all I’m saying is, she is not a cat with nine lives! She has one life. One precious life, that I think we’ve been a little too careless with.”

“Reid, you know I would never risk putting (Y/N) in harm’s way if it wasn’t the best course of action. She’s experienced with this. The team is experienced with this.” 

A beat of silence passed.

“Promise me that if you have so much as an inkling her life is in danger–”

“We’ll do everything in our power to get her out of there.”

“That’s the thing! ‘Everything in our power…’ It’s not enough. How many times have we told families we did everything we could when all they have left is a body bag?” 

Your heart froze. Both of the voices lowered. You could only catch bits and pieces of Hotch’s speech. You were never an eavesdropper, but despite your better nature, you crept around the corner towards the door.

“I know what it’s like to lose someone to an unsub, Spencer. I know how it sticks with you. I know how it changes the job. But you have to trust us– the team. We’re going to protect her. And we’re going to be there for you,” Hotch said. 

Spencer sighed. "How did you do it?" Spencer's voice cracked. "After Haley, Hotch? I’m not sure if I can survive this.” He sounded seconds away from tears. 

At that moment, you knew you would not sleep comfortably at night if you continued to be a fly on the wall.  You tiptoed back down the east wing and waited for Spencer at the bottom of the stairs.

Ten minutes passed before Spencer appeared at the top of the staircase.

“Spencer?” You called. 

His hazel eyes were tinged pink. He walked down the stairs nonchalantly. “Hey, um, would you mind if we discussed part of the case file real quick? Privately? It could help, um…” He cleared his throat. “Develop your persona.”

“Yes, of course.” 

Spencer didn’t look at you as he power walked down the hall towards the janitorial closets. For the first time since you started dating, he didn’t adjust to your walking pace. 

He flung a door open and yanked you inside. 

Carelessly, Spencer slammed the door behind you. Before you could get a word in, he pulled you into a bear hug.

“Spencer.” You whispered. “I’m here. I’m okay.”

He nuzzled his nose into your hair. 

You stood in the statue of a hug for two minutes.

“I can’t lose you.” Spencer whispered.

“You won’t.”

Spencer pulled away from you. He bent down to look you in the eye. He squeezed your shoulders. His eyes danced with emotion. There was a deep ache, a whirlpool of sadness that you knew a lifetime may never heal. What perplexed you was the hardness that you could only read as anger. 

“I…” He sighed. He hung his head. He dragged his palms down the slope of your shoulders to your forearms. It was like he was taking a cast of you with his hands. 

“I’m not dead on arrival. I’m still here. I’m coming back on that jet ride home with you. I’m going to be okay.” You reciprocated his shoulder squeeze. “You’re going to be okay.”

Spencer shook his head. “Don’t worry about me.”

“I care about you. It’s a part of the girlfriend package.” Spencer pulled you into another constricting hug. 

 “I can’t fathom how difficult this must be for you.” You whispered.

Spencer pressed his forehead to yours. “Promise me when you go out there, you won’t worry about me. I want you to only focus on you, your surroundings, and making sure you get out of there.”

“I promise, Spencer.” You said, though you weren’t sure if that would be the truth.

“And one more thing,” He said. His irises were so close to yours you could pick apart the layer of green and brown. “As soon as you feel unsafe, you call someone. If you have any inclination he’s going to overtake you–”

“I call the team.”

He took a step back and ran his hands through his hair. “I know you’re strong. I’m not trying to insult your field work.”

Your heart cracked. “Spencer, love, I know that. I’m so happy you care about me. I just wish this situation hurt you less.”

He dropped his hands to his sides. His brows furrowed. He stared at a random point to the left of your face.

“Can you do something for me? Before we leave?” He asked, still not meeting your gaze.

“What is it, Spence?”

He took a deep breath. He met your eyes again. “Dance with me.” 

“What?”

“Dance with me. I…” He inhaled deeply. “I never got to dance with Maeve before she…I barely even got to hold her. I won’t make the same mistake twice.” 

You closed the distance between you and Spencer. You cupped his face in your hands, and he instinctively leaned into your touch. His eyes shone with tears. “I’ll dance with you for the rest of my days, Spence.” 

He whipped out his phone. He turned on a slow jazz song you played for him last winter on an impromptu hot chocolate date. 

Your heart skipped a beat. You could go on that same date again, but it would have a whole new color to it. 

He slid his phone onto a cleaning supply shelf. He pulled you to his chest. Your head nestled right beneath his collarbone. You wrapped your arms around his mid back.

You danced, bodies pressed together like puzzle pieces, in silence until the song ended. The symphony of emotions didn’t cease with the final brush of the snare. 

Spencer continued swaying with you.

“I’m going to be okay.” You whispered.

He pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “You can’t promise me that.” He held you even tighter. “But I can promise you I’ll do everything in my power to make sure you come home to me.” 

Author's Note: Hello to all my new followers! I'm so glad you're here! I'm so grateful for the overwhelmingly positive reception to "I'll Hold Your Weight When You Can't." Hope you enjoyed this piece as well!

I hope you have a great day or night wherever you are in this crazy world.

xoxo,

shewroteaworld

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x self insert #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds

[queers-gambit]

FX’s The Bear masterlist

requesting rules and masterlist

requests are CLOSED where to watch: FX and / or Hulu

God's Plan

your boyfriend carries the worst parts of his job home, bringing to life one of your deepest-seeded insecurities. or when Carmy calls you clingy.

word count: 3.3k+

🎭 drama 🥺 hurt 🚫 no REAL comfort 🙊 general language and content warning 🍄 toxic relationship 🍑 reader with given nickname 2️⃣ written after season two

read here browse Clingy Baby collection here

part two: Two to Tango

the aftermath of Carmy's words seem to rattle him more than you.

word count: 5.4k+

🎭 drama ❤️‍🩹 hurt and comfort 💔 small angst 🧸 small fluff ☠️ discussion of deceased family member 🙊 general language and content warning 💣 relationship angst 🍑 reader with given nickname 🔏 barely edited 2️⃣ written after season two

read here browse Clingy Baby collection here

Dinner At The Homesick Restaurant

a highly-recommended 303-page novel by Anne Tyler

behind closed doors, many families have secret turmoil. you experience your boyfriend's with him one fateful Christmas. or how Carmy finally made the decision to get away.

word count: 10.4k+

🍒 author's favorite 🎭 drama 💔 angst ❤️‍🩹 hurt and small comfort ⚠️ spoilers 🐝 stand-alone 🙊 general language and content warning 🐍 toxic family / family angst 🥊 depiction of canon-typical physical violence and / or aggression 💛 requires maturity and caution ✝️ Lord's name in vain 🍑 reader with given nickname 🔏 barely edited 2️⃣ written after season two

read here

Opening Night and Open Hearts

opening night - a mother's fear, a locked walk-in freezer, confessions through a thick metal door, questioning what's deserved, and a proposal at The Bear after hours.

word count: 9.8k+

🍑 reader with given nickname 💍 established relationship 🙊 general language and content warning ⚠️ spoilers 🤮 depiction of physical illness 🧸 fluff 💔 angst 💣 relationship angst ❤️‍🩹 hurt and comfort 🐍 depiction of toxic family 🔏 not edited 2️⃣ written after season two

read here

Neon Sticky Notes

reminding your boyfriend you love him one sticky note at a time.

word count: 2.4k+

🧸 fluff 🥰 romance 🙊 probably general language warning 2️⃣ written after season two

read here

Affirmation King

attending university as a full-time student is hard, but your boyfriend makes some of the stress worth it.

word count: 3.1k+

🧸 fluff 🙊 general language warning 2️⃣ written after season two

read here

Campus Breakdown

after a hard day, at least you can come home to him.

word count: 1.6k+

🧸 fluff ❤️‍🩹 small hurt and comfort 💔 teeny tiny angst 🙊 general language warning 2️⃣ written after season two

read here

Silence

anxiety plays tricks on your mind, making you mistake your boyfriend's stress for anger - at you.

word count: 2.5k+

🎭 little drama (mostly tension) 💔 small angst ❤️‍🩹 hurt and comfort 🧸 small fluff 💣 small relationship angst 💍 established relationship 🐝 stand-alone / oneshot 🙊 general language warning 🥂 alcohol consumption 🫠 small depiction of self-destructing / deprecating thoughts 🧠 discussion of mental health (anxiety) 2️⃣ written after season two

read here

The Business That Pays You

not all disabilities are visible. being accosted for something out of your control angers the watchdog - your boyfriend, Carmy. plus the protective Carmy request.

word count: 4.5k+

note this is a disabled female reader! INVISIBLE disability!

🎭 drama 💔 little angst ❤️‍🩹 hurt and comfort 💍 established relationship 🐝 stand-alone / oneshot 🙊 general language warning 🩺 depiction of medical phenomenon / disability ✝️ Lord's name in vain 2️⃣ written after season two

read here

requesting rules and masterlist

#the bear #the bear fx #the bear hulu #carmy the bear #carmy #carmy berzatto #carmy x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto imagine #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto x you #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto fanfiction #carmen berzatto fic #the bear masterlist #carmy berzatto angst #carmy berzatto masterlist #queers gambit #queers gambit masterlist

[fan-goddess]

First Week Of School

Request: By @slytherincursebreaker for me to make a written version of this artwork that I highly recommend you go look at before reading! They never cease to amaze me with their work!

Summary: Penelope it seems has been using words she doesn’t fully understand…

Authors Note: As you can see I had too much fun writing about domestic Michael. But do I care? Nope!

Taglist: @humanpurposes, @watercolorskyy, @omgbrcat @blue-serendipity @arcielee @slytherincursebreaker @tumblin-theworldaway

Warnings: Pregnancy, hormones, smutty talk, discussions of a sexual nature (if I miss any let me know!)

Michael Gavey never thought he would ever have kids, let alone a wife, or even a girlfriend at that. Yet that all changed when in his first class of his first year at Oxford, he met you. Granted, he’d been an absolute idiotic prat, as he himself had put it. Yet somehow you kept on coming back to hang out with him with a smile on your face.

Even when Oliver Quick abandoned him in the pub at the drop of a hat just so he could get five minutes of stupid Cattons time and attention like some kind of desperate puppy, you managed to sneak away from your much more popular friends and catch up with him while he was headed back to his accommodation. And when he asked why, you’d said it was all to ask if he was okay and wanted someone to talk to.

In all honesty It was probably the first moment is sort of clocked in Michael’s head that he liked you as more than a friend.

He somehow managed to keep hanging out with you rest of the school year. Even plucking up the courage from not even he knows where to ask you for your phone number so he could talk to you during the holidays when he’d be forced to go back to his parents house.

When the next school year came around in September though, it was with great pride when he practically peacocked his way back to campus with you on his arms and his virginity long gone behind him.

And by the end of Oxford, he had a ring in his pocket just waiting to be placed on your finger, which soon was done by the end of that year.

Years went by since Oxford though, and yours and his lives changed for the better as the two of you moved in together in a nice quaint flat and eventually did manage to get married. It hadn’t been a very big event as the both of you only invited just a handful of guests, and yet it was easily the happiest days of yours and his lives.

It had been an especially emotional time when somehow both of you managed to start ugly crying at each other’s speeches.

Yet you easily managed to outcry yourself when two weeks after coming back from your honeymoon in America, or more specifically after a spontaneous trip to the airplane cubicle, you found yourself sitting on the toilet while Michael was away at work with a pregnancy test in hand, and four more sitting on the edge of the bath saying the same thing.

Pregnant.

You’d tried to surprise Michael that same day after finding out by surprising him when he came back from work, but it didn’t help as the so called ‘baby brain’ managed to somehow hit early, and somehow at the near exact time when Michael was walking through the front door about to greet you, you were frantically trying to put out the fire that had miraculously started on the now charcoal bun you’d placed in the about an hour ago in the oven.

“What on earth is going on?!” You hear Michael shout, his voice confused as he watches from the doorway you frantically try to throw the charcoal lump into the sink.

“It wasn’t my fault!” You say practically on the verge of tears as you try to blink through the sudden onslaught of tears.

“Hey hey hey none of that!” Michael says, dropping his leather satchel as he moves closer to you so he can take you in his arms and kiss the top of your head, while rubbing a comfortingly warm hand on your back. “What’s the issue love?”

“I-I-“ You begin, somehow crying even harder at Michael’s warm embrace. “I wanted to surprise you! But I ruined it!”

“We all forget things sometimes love, doesn’t make you any less smart! Now, what is it you wanted to surprise me with?”

“I…” You pause, stepping away slightly so you could grab his hand previously on your back and place it on your belly. “I’m pregnant Michael.”

You could swear you could see the exact moment his mind went numb, and you honestly don’t think you’ve seen a better state of his. Other than when he’s been fucked out of his mind of course.

“Are you serious?” He eventually says, knocking himself out of his little trance to look you dead in your eyes.

“Yeah darling,” You smile, beginning to tear up again when you see your husbands face slowly turn into his own delighted grin. “We’re having a baby!”

“We’re having a baby!” Michael repeats, his voice breaking as his own tears start falling. Scratch what you thought earlier about outcrying yourself in the bathroom earlier today, within five seconds Michaels already managed to outdo you again.

Over the next few months Michael was attentive as he could be with work and all that, and yet you honestly couldn’t have asked for anything better. Even when the baby was being born in the delivery room, Michael was standing next to you with his hand in yours, and very much ugly crying.

“Michael, you aren’t the one giving birth!” You groan, glaring up at him while you continue to groan in pain. Still, your ever sarcastic husband gave his very much expected sarcastic response while you continued to crush his hand in your own.

Though by the next day, you were holding his and yours daughter in your arms. A girl you both agreed to name Penelope.

The years went by quickly with Penelope in yours and Michaels lives, and it was with great sadness when you realised you wouldn’t get your little one to welcome you both home with a smile on her face, as Penelope’s starting date for primary school came soon approaching.

“Can’t she just start next year?” Michael asks, getting into bed with you and kissing the side of your head before grabbing the physics book on his side table.

“If she starts next year, she’ll be older than all the kids there. You don’t want people to think she got held back do you?” You smile, using your husband’s own doubts about her against him as you pretend to focus on your own book.

It takes everything in you not to burst out laughing at Michael’s little grumble he does out of the corner of your eye. You can’t see it, but you know for sure he’s got a little scrunched up glare on his face like he always does when he’s annoyed at something.

The next few days pass and Michael doesn’t bring up the idea of Penelope starting next year again. Though whether that’s fuelled by Michael’s fear of a held back daughter of something else you don’t know, as the first day of school soon approaches.

On the day however, everything starts smoothly as you make Penelope a healthy breakfast to get her through the day and make her a sufficient lunch box filled with food you’re pretty sure has the food she currently claims to like in.

Yet when you, Penelope and Michael get to the front gate of the school, that’s when the waterworks start. And it weren’t even started by Penelope nor yourself. In actuality it was Michael who began sniffling when your daughter walked into class for the first time all on her own, with her bright pink my little pony backpack strapped tight to her back paired with a bright smile on her face.

“Oh honey…” You sigh, putting your arms around him and tucking his head in the curve of your neck. It didn’t matter if his glasses were digging into your skin, or if his tears were leaving uncomfortable wet patches on your shirt. All that did matter was making sure Michael was feeling comforted and loved at that moment while other parents and children awkwardly stood around you.

“She’s not our little girl anymore…” He murmurs, his lips tickling your skin while his breath begins to slowly even out.

“She’ll always be our little girl Michael,” You say, kissing the top of his head before he moves away from you, his face a lovely shade of pink with embarrassment. “Whether she’s beginning primary school or finishing her A-levels, she will always be our little girl. Do you understand me?”

“Course I do you twit!” Michael says, rolling his eyes at not only you but at the mother he heard behind you gasp in shock at his little nickname, even when he most certainly knows he could’ve said a whole lot worse. Especially when he remembers the uni days and the whole range of vocabulary he used back then.

Still he ignores her as he grabs your hand to drag you back to the car so the two of you can go back home and get ready for work. And later that day when 3pm comes around, both you and Michael stand eagerly by the after school pick up point, with you watching with such fond eyes when you see Michael open his arms wide to give Penelope a big hug as she runs up to him, her own arms open as wide as they can go.

“Did you have a nice day sweetie?” You say, smiling as your daughter finally moves to look at you and give you your own small hug. Yet not as big of a one she gave Michael of course, as hell make sure to mention later on.

“Yeah mama!” She says, grinning loud and radiating pure joy as you and Michael lead her to the car with one of her hands in yours and the other in Michael’s. “I made lots new friends today!”

“Any boys?” Michael offhandedly asks, not really expecting an answer, but he certainly reacts like he was looking for one when your daughter actually answers with an enthusiastic yes and a handful of boy names. Totally oblivious to Michael’s genuinely horrified expression that makes you want to take out your phone and take a picture of it to make it your Home Screen picture.

“Well it’s a good thing you’ve made all these friends! Hasn’t it Michael?” You ask with a pointed stare and a harsh pinch to his leg after you’ve strapped in Penelope and got into the car together.

“Yeah yeah lots of friends I’m very proud of you sweetheart…” Michael says with gritted teeth, looking at you with his own glare telling you exactly what he thought of these new friends of your daughter. The topic of which he brought up again later that night, after eating dinner together, brushing teeth and getting into bed.

“I told you we should’ve let her wait another year…” Michael grumbles, glaring at the page of his book that he’d been on for the last ten minutes.

“And what would that simply achieve?” You ask him, turning the page of your own book. “It’s not like you’d be able to convince her cooties are real and to stay away from boys love, as the teachers would just intervene.”

“I could certainly try…” He simply says back, finally turning the page. You don’t engage with Michael anymore as you sigh while switching off your lamp and getting yourself comfortable between the sheets. Though before you shut your eyes you have to pull Michael down slightly to give him a deep loving kiss.

“Night love.” You say, shutting your eyes and acting oblivious to the flustered mess that is your husband sitting beside you. Yet when you hear his own shaky goodnight back you can’t help yourself from giggling slightly, before allowing sleep to take you.

The rest of the week though goes well, with a significantly less amount of tears from everyone while you drop Penelope off and pick her up from school. And by Friday, all three of you have managed to get yourselves in a good little routine.

“Now Michael, remember that I’ve got that meeting at work at 3 so I can’t pick up Penelope with you today!” You calmly say, focused on packing your daughter’s lunch box which according to her needs to have a cheesestring and a babybel so she can share with her friend Alex.

It’s adorable, so you allowed it almost instantly. Yet somehow it made it even better when you heard Michael two minutes after trying to interrogate your four year old daughter on whether Alex was a boy or a girl.

“Fine fine…” He groans, moving away with a roll of his eyes to kiss your forehead in a loving gesture. “And don’t worry love I’ll be fine on my own! Just as long as stupid Alex ain’t there…”

“Oh behave Michael!” You sternly say, your eyebrows furrowing in annoyance at his insistent worrying. “And besides. If you do this and behave, I’ll do that thing you like tonight with you. How about that?”

“Really?!” Michael asks, a mixture of surprise and arousal on his face. “Outfit and all?”

“Outfit and all.” You repeat, a sultry smile on your face as you kiss the corner of his mouth next to his lips and move away to grab the finished lunch box and place it in her backpack. “Penelope it’s time to go! Put your big girl shoes on please!”

“Yes mummy!” You can hear her say upstairs as she comes bolting down the stairs with an adorable smile on her face. The sound of which you assume knocks Michael from his little trance, as as soon as she comes down and starts putting her shoes on that’s when Michael comes from the direction of the kitchen with his own adorably bashful look on his face.

The rest of the day for Michael though goes great. As that morning with you he drops Penelope of at school, afterwards dropping you at your own work.

“I’ll see you later love.” He says, kissing you on the lips before you move to get out of the car.

“Oh I most certainly will baby.” You smirk back, making his stomach twist and turn in anticipation for later.

“Such a tease…” He murmurs, before starting the car and driving off to work. There weren’t many classes for the day, as by the time came for him to start driving to Penelopes school to get ready to pick her up, he’d already eaten lunch and popped into the bakery by his work to get her a little gingerbread man for an afterschool treat.

It was all going so well as he waited by the pick up area with the treat sitting in his coat pocket. That is however, before Penelope’s form teacher who he remembers meeting when originally toured around the school, came up to him and asked for a quick chat about something that happened today.

“What happened?! Did something happen to her?!” He frantically asked as soon as he walks inside the teachers empty classroom and sat in a chair opposite her desk.

“Oh no nothings happened to Penelope at all!” The teacher reassures, a comfortable smile on her face. “I do however want to discuss with you about some particular language that she used earlier today during break time on the playground.”

“Oh really?” Michael asks, curiousity on his face when he thinks about the words he and yourself try to use when around her. Though when the teacher begins to speak, pure and utter mortification is only what remains.

“From what I heard of the playground monitor on duty, Penelope was talking to one of her male classmates when she used what she herself called NFI. She explained the situation and the words involved in NFI quite graphically I must say…”

“Oh god I’m so sorry about this!” Michael groans, his head in his hands in an attempt to hide his bright red face of embarrassment.

“Oh please don’t be! I can understand that kids at this age are like sponges as they repeat whatever they hear their parents say and not know the meaning of the words at all. Myself and the teacher who’d been on duty have spoken to her about certain language and repeating what mummy and daddy have said, but I thought best to tell you as she’ll probably listen more to a parent than myself.”

“I will definitely have a discussion with her, and so will her mother too when she gets back from work.” Michael says, standing up and thanking the teacher for her time as he begins to leave the classroom. “Thank you for letting me know.”

When Michael exits the classroom Penelope is already sitting down on a chair opposite, staring at him with a smile on her face.

“Hi daddy!” She says, getting down from the chair to run up at him and give him a hug on his legs when he doesn’t reach down quick enough. “Where’s mummy?”

“Mummy’s at work sweetie, she said so this morning that she’ll see you later and is so sorry for not being here.” Michael says, now kneeling down to get to her eye level.

“It’s okay daddy! I forgive mummy!”

“Well I’m sure mummy is very grateful for that!” Michael says, pausing as he begins to help her put on her coat and continues on with what he was about to say. “Penelope your teacher told me you made a boy cry using NFI.”

“But he started it daddy! He’s a cu-“

“Loser!” Michael quickly interrupts, sternly staring at his daughter. “You can call him loser not that word... At least punch him I'll allow it since he's a loser...” He mumbles those last words, not expecting Penelope to hear him and actually listen.

Though that’s future Michaels problem when in two weeks he’s called into the headteachers office to talk about not encouraging violence…

The gingerbread man that is still in Michael’s pocket gets put in a cupboard soon as he and Penelope gets home while she’s busily distracted trying to put Bluey on the tv by herself. On a normal day he’d not allow it as a form of punishment, but even he can’t deny the enjoyment of those little Australian dogs…

There’s a reason why he sometimes calls Penelope his little muffin after all.

When you get back from work and give him a quick kiss, of course only after saying hi to Penelope who continues to sit watching tv, he can’t stop the words from spilling from his mouth.

“Penelope’s teacher talked to me after school. Apparently she’s been using NFI at break time and made a boy cry…” He says, watching about a hundred emotions go through your face. Though the one he least expects for you to settle on is amusement, as you begin laughing hard.

“She really is your daughter I suppose!” You laugh, practically crying as you wipe your eyes with the back of your hands. “Never thought she’d be showing this early!”

“Oh… bugger off!” Michael groans in mock frustration.

“Careful Mikey you know how impressionable she is!” You continue to laugh, practically red at how frustrated your husband now looks standing in front of you. Again, that little scrunched up expression evident on his face.

“There are so many words I want to call you right now…” He moans, stepping towards you with a dark look in his eyes that you can’t help but feel attracted to.

“Oh really?” You begin, smiling as you wipe the final onslaught of tears from your eyes. “Maybe you can tell me tonight? When we do that thing?”

“Oh is that still on the table?” Michael says, his mood a compete turn around as his face looks surprised and yet also thrilled. “I’d have thought-“

“Oh please baby. You really thought that since you were acting like a spoilt boy you wouldn’t be getting a reward? Well then I suppose it’s a good thing what will be happening tonight is not a reward for you then my love. But in fact a punishment. There will be no outfit anymore, no more of that thing you like for a long time. Do you understand that?”

“Yes ma’am…” Michael murmurs, his eyes dark and hooded as he bends his head down about to kiss you. That is however, before Penelope comes running round the corner with panic on her face.

“Mummy mummy mummy! Please don’t punish daddy! It was my fault!” Your daughter begs with genuine horror in her voice. “Pleeeeeeeease don’t punish him!”

“Oh no it’s okay baby!” You say, kneeling down to take her in your arms. “I’m not gonna actually punish daddy you don’t need to worry about him.”

“Do you promise?” She asks, looking at you with such an adorable pout on her face you honestly can’t think of anything cuter at that moment, even with the reasoning for it lingering in the back of your mind.

“I promise.” You say, bringing her in for a big hug while she burrows her head into your body and wraps her own smaller arms around you as tight as she can.

And as Penelope’s distracted, you make sure to wink at your still flustered husband and mouth three simple words at him that makes him somehow flush an even deeper shade of red.

Definitely a punishment.

#michael gavey x reader #Michael gavey/reader #Michael gavey #saltburn #saltburn fanfiction #saltburn fanfic #Michael gavey oneshot #my works #Ewan Mitchell #Ewan Mitchell character #Ewan Mitchell x reader #ewan nation #ewanverse #ewan mitchell fanfic #ewan mitchell fandom #Ewan Mitchell fanfiction #michael gavey x you #michael gavey x y/n #saltburn fic

[lurkingshan]

Japanese QL Corner

It's a quieter week as a few shows have just wrapped and the next wave hasn't started yet, but there is still Japanese ql airing, including what is shaping up to be an all time fav. Both of these current airing shows are on Gaga and I highly recommend watching!

Love is Better the Second Time Around

This show is so good, and so mature in exactly the way I hoped. And I don't mean mature as in explicit--there is sex in this show but it's not some wild heat level. It's mature in that it's a story about characters who know themselves, know what they want, and draw boundaries. Both Iwanaga and Miyata are going down as favorite characters for me; I especially love that Miyata is a more knowing and self aware spin on a really well known bl archetype (think Rain from LITA but if he actually knew exactly why he was reacting the way he was to Payu and was mad about it instead of just overwhelmed and confused). This week we got a lot deeper into his teenage hurt over Iwanaga and now have a firm understanding of why he's alternately giving into and resisting this attraction. I am looking forward to Iwanga figuring out how to repair the damage he caused and earn his trust back.

My Strawberry Film

This was easily my favorite episode so far of this meandering little show. Every week I am left wondering what exactly this drama is trying to say and be; it certainly doesn't feel like a bl. We have spent the vast majority of our time on doomed het romance while Ryo quietly pines for his oblivious friend in the background. But this week we finally got to know Minami outside of Hikaru's narrow gaze, and I like her a lot. Her scene with Ryo where they discussed their romantic woes and established each other as a safe zone was very sweet, and showed how perceptive she is about all these dynamics happening around her. I was discussing with @bengiyo whether the show is going for an aromantic read with her, and I'm not sure. I see the makings of it, but the presentation of her feelings on romance feels a bit muddled. I loved her calling Hikaru out on being self-centered and having absolutely no patience for his petty jealousy. Hikaru thinks he likes her, but he doesn't actually know her (or his own best friend). I liked the final scene between Ryo and Hikaru as well, and the terrible angst of Ryo's confession that he immediately took back. The way the lights and audio from oncoming traffic played over his face in that scene was a really fantastic way to communicate both a moment of clarity and a moment of fear in the aftermath. I'm curious to see where this show takes the ending; a romantic conclusion for the two boys would not feel genuine to me at this point, but I could see them leaving us on a note of burgeoning curiosity and hope.

Bonus: No Touching At All

I recently watched this 2014 jbl on @twig-tea's recommendation, and I really loved it (I have already watched it twice and will definitely be doing so again). This is a classic office romance between a young gay man, Shima, and his "straight" boss, Toga. It's a simple story but well executed, and the film has a strong sense of place that I really loved. Shima and Toga have a fairly instantaneous attraction, and Toga is the kind of laidback character who simply never gave much thought to his sexuality and doesn't care about the fact that Shima is a man; he likes who he likes. Shima, however, is carrying a lot of internalized homophobia and trauma from closeted men messing him around in the past, and has a hard time believing in Toga's sincerity. I really love the way this conflict plays out in the story, and I especially love the way Toga talks to Shima. He's a no bullshit kind of guy and he tries his best to reassure Shima, but he's not a pushover, either. Ultimately Shima has to work through his own insecurities and make the choice to be brave to make the relationship work. The ending of this one is amazing and left me feeling very confident in this couple, and I can't recommend it highly enough. It's the grey for this one, unfortunately, but if you have trouble finding it in HQ let me know and I'll point you (don't watch it on YT, the version on there is potato quality).

#japanese ql corner #love is better the second time around #koi wo suru nara nidome ga joto #my strawberry film #no touching at all #japanese bl

[ohtobeleah]

Bruises // Jake Seresin

Chapter Two: [Tactile Takedown]

Summary: When a missile is headed right for Roosters F-18, Jake makes a decision that could end up costing you your life.

Series Warnings: Heavy themes of violence, sexual assault, torture. 18+ content. Minors DNI. Mature themes. Being held in captivity. Hostage style situation. Main character death! Whump, Angst. Conversations that discuss antisocial & antisemitism views.

Word Count: 4.4k

Author Note: THIS SERIES IS CONFRONTING, FICTIONAL, AND DEPICTS IMAGES OF TORTURE. DO NOT READ PAST THIS POINT IF YOU BELIEVE THAT THIS SERIES WILL BE DETRIMENTAL TO YOUR MENTAL STABILITY. CURATE YOUR OWN TIMELINE.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

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Tuesday - April 18th 2023. D-day. 

“How you doing back there Hollywood?” Jake asked as you settled into a steady climb, You’d just taken off from the carrier that had taken you out into the middle of nowhere to complete a mission that seemed somewhat impossible. But you were told these guys were the best of the best, that they don't get any better than the Daggers. An elite group of Naval Aviators who had completed some of the most insane covert operations you'd been blessed to read about. “How's my radar looking?” 

And now? Well–now you were one of them. 

“Radars clean Hangman.” You confirmed all the while trying to calm the pit of nervousness in your stomach. “Recommend increasing to three hundred knots, you've got Dagger Two approaching at around ten o'clock closure.” 

“Confirmed.” Jake replied as he pushed up on his throttle, it sent your head into the back of your chair a little from the force of gravity changing around you. “Increasing speed, Rooster you still with me?” It was just the three of you, Rooster, Hangman and yourself. A small yet tactile team of experienced and highly trained naval aviators sent it to disable a rogue insurgent group that was making far too much noise for the United States navy to ignore. 

The mission? Dismantle what Nav-Con believed to be one of the two main insurgent camps situated in the middle of a communication desert. With one highly explosive missile and two of the best air to air combat pilots the navy had ever seen, you were tasked with getting in through a valley that had been similar terrain to a mission Bradley had flown a few years prior. 

That was why he was chosen. Experience. 

Jake Seresin had a reputation, he was the Hangman. He had two confirmed air to air kills and wouldn't lose sleep over a third of forth. From what you could gather since being assigned as his weapons system officer, Jake took risks. Risks that paid off well. He was highly skilled and that somewhat egomaniacal belief that he was a god given gift to aviation made it easier to pull through with such risks. 

That was why he was chosen. Taktical ability to compartmentalise. 

But Jake Seresin had a fault. He had a single thread loose that if pulled could undo all that male bravado. He cared, deep down, about his squadron. His colleagues had become more like family than anything. He couldn't turn that blind eye that was so necessary to have if this mission were to fail. 

And that's why you were brought in. Why you were chosen for such a dangerous mission. You would have been easier to lose against Robert Floyd or Mickey Garcia and the Admirals all knew it. Jake didn't know you. You were a pivotal part of the mission design, a means to an end if necessary. 

You were simply expendable: 

From the Admirals who had tasked Bradley and Jake with this mission to Pete ‘Maverick’ Mitchell, they all knew that if it were Bob or Fanboy sitting in Jake's WSO seat, he wouldn’t take so many risks. And for once–they needed him to take risks. To not think and just do. 

“I'm right behind you, Hangman.” Bradleys voice came through the comms as clear as day. He was taling right behind Jake. “We’re looking good so far.” 

“Better not have just jinxed us Bradshaw.” Jake sighed as he made a small turn right, heading down into the canyon below. “We get in, we get out and we go home.” 

You had spent the last month revising the mission, sitting in hour long debrief sessions with Rooster and Hangman to go over critical points of the mission. You knew they were close, but there was an underlying sort of animosity you couldn't quite figure out. 

And that's why they were both chosen for this mission together. There would be no love lost between the two.

“Still nothing up ahead on radar Hangman.” You spoke firmly with enough conviction in your voice to cover up the fact your heart was racing a million miles an hour. You never thought in your wildest dream you'd make it to TopGun and then further, a specialist unit. But this was not the time to doubt your ability. “All systems go back here, max ceiling is three hundred feet if you wanna keep out of line of sight.” 

“Aye aye Hollywood.” Jake had never flown with a weapons system officer before. This was his first mission with one. When he’d been called into Admiral Simpson's office one random Thursday afternoon before finishing for the day–He thought for sure he was about to have his ass handed to him for something he’d surely done. 

“Hangman.” Admiral Simpson stood at his desk to greet the aviator who looked a little green around the gill upon first entry. He gestured for the flight suit clad, broad shouldered man to sit in the empty seat beside you. “I'd like you to meet Lieutenant Y/N “Hollywood” Y/L/N, she’ll be joining us here for the foreseeable future.” Jake listened as he sat down beside you. 

Without hesitation he sent you a strong smile that took up the entire expanse of his face, completely intoxicating and undeniably hollywood. 

“It's nice to see some fresh meat around here, keep the competition guessing.” Jake chuckled as he extended his hand to shake yours. “I'm Lieutenant Seresin, Jake.” He was all confidence and cocky ego until you touched his hand, until your hand shook his back in a friendly gesture. Jake wasn't going to pretend that he didn't feel that sharp spark, that jolt of energy, that lighting strike that ignited his skin when you touched him. “But everyone calls me Hangman.” 

“Hollywood here is actually joining us as a WSO Seresin.” Admiral Simpson explained as he let his elbows rest against the old oak desk that put some distance between where he sat and where Jake sat, completely unaware that your presence in North Island was about to completely change the trajectory of his career. “She’ll be your WSO.” 

“I’m sorry–” Jake retracted his hand from yours as he shot Admiral Simpson a look, he had previously warned you of this reaction, so you chose to remain silent. Taking in your surroundings and observing Hangman's emotions. It was your job to be observant after all. “Since when do I fly with a WSO? I've never flown doubles before and I don't intend to start now.” Jake argued before he turned back to where you sat. “No offence sunshine, I'm sure you’re great and all, it’s just I don't particularly play well with others.” 

“I'm more of a midnight rain kinda girl.” All you did was eye him off with an emotionless expression. Jake didn’t appreciate your tone, he did however appreciate the way your eyes nearly sparkled in the warm afternoon sun that came beaming through the window of Admiral Simpson's office. “I’m not too over the moon about working with you either.” It was a dig. “With a callsign as transparent as Hangman I’m sure I’m in great hands.”

“And I’m sure Hollywood has some outstanding depth to it.” Jake was quick on his feet with his comeback before he frowned a little more and turned his attention back to Admiral Simpson. “Why not Bradshaw?” He groaned, seemingly unimpressed by the decision to dump a WSO on him after years of flying solo. “He doesn’t have a WSO, or Coyote!” 

It was then that Admiral Simpson pulled out a cream coloured file from his desk draw and slid it across his desk. He let out a sigh that told you someone wasn’t coming back from this one. 

“Because we need it to be you.” 

“Approach the canyon entrance with caution.” You directed from behind as you watched the Radar closely. “Remember, we only engage if absolutely necessary.” 

“Once we’re in we make this quick.” Rooster spoke firmly, he had been a little hesitant to accept this detachment knowing its risk to reward ratio. But he’d been promised a shore leave after this. A well deserved vacation. “Let’s get to work.” 

“Copy, heading into Risk Range now.” That was the name on the cream folder Admiral Simpson had passed you and Hangman on day one. Risk Range. Because once you were in there was no way of pulling you out. It was risky, and a mountain range that expanded as far as the eye could see. “Hollywood, have that laser guide ready for me.” 

“On it.” It was like they knew you were coming, because as your radar began flashing with approaching enemy aircraft you knew immediately that they knew. It was a gut instinct. 

“Rooster evade left! Hangman break right, we’ve got company.” Jake didn’t waste a second of time reacting accordingly. He broke right as Rooster tailed off. It was the very definition of an ambush, cold calculated and premeditated. “Jake!” 

“Hangman on your left!” Rooster's voice came through panicked on the comms as Jake did his best to avoid the enemy aircraft that had seemingly come out of thin air: stealth pilots. Trained to be completely unseen until they wanted you to see them. “Break left!” 

“Breaking left!” You twisted and turned and left fingerprints on the canopy as you tried your best to get a better visual. It was madness, pure madness. One two three six how many were there? “Come on, talk to me Hollywood, tell me what you see!” As Jake asked you what you saw you felt your heart pounding inside your chest as you saw a single missile. With wide eyes and panic racing through your veins, you spun around. 

“Smoke in the air! Smoke in the air! Six o’clock Hangman break right!” 

“Deploying flares!” It was only by the skin of what felt like his nose that Jake was able to avoid a direct hit. These guys were ruthless, where one was evaded another would pop up. “Rooster, talk to me man where you at?” 

“I’m here! Hollywood, tell me what you see!” You could have sworn the next few seconds played out like a three hour long Christopher Nolan movie. Time stood still as Jake turned around to expose the full scene playing out on the big screen. A surface to air missile was aiming right for Bradley Bradshaw. 

“Jake—“ It was a mumble, a murmur even. It threw a spanner in the cogs of this well oiled detachment you thought you knew everything about. Every angle, every concept, every reason why the three of you were specifically chosen. Because as Jake made a decision that would send the F-18 the two of you found yourselves to be in into the side of a mountain range, you realised there would be love lost, a hell of a lot of love lost if anything happened to Rooster. Bradley Bradshaw was Jake Seresin wingman, period. “It's on him.” 

“Not if I can help it.” Jake mumbled under his breath as he swung around and headed straight for where Rooster was. 

“Banit coming in hot on your tail Rooster, break right!” It was your confirmation that you were all in, every decision Jake made in the sky affected you and vice versa. There was nowhere to run, not here in this mess. “Jake, deploy flares!” 

“Deploying flares!” It was only the smallest of miscalculations that caused it. If Jake had deployed his flares just three seconds prior, then perhaps you wouldn't have been hit. Perhaps you would have been able to save Rooster without sacrificing your own safety. Perhaps if Jake had deployed his flares just three seconds earlier, then the missile that hit the tail end of your F-18 with such force, that it blew the ass end right off the aircraft, wouldn't have knocked you out from the impact. 

The explosion was the last thing you heard. The warmth of the fire that kissed your skin was the last thing you felt before everything was cold again. So cold. So cold that it almost burned.

“Y/n!” Jake shouted with a panic in his tone of voice as he shook you softly. “Hollywood! Wake up!” There was blood dripping from your nose, a sign Jake wasn't too keen on but other than that? He couldn’t see any other physical injuries. You still had both arms and legs. “Lieutenant Y/L/N wake up!” It was all so muffled, like you were under water, you could hear Jake calling your name, you could feel him shaking your body, but you couldn't talk, couldn't open your eyes. Until you did, slowly and with a groan. “Oh thank god.” It was the first thing you heard Jake say clearly without the muffled understone. “You scared the hell out of me.” 

“What happened?” You asked softly as you tried to sit up. “Where are we?” Jake could recognise the panic taking over your being as he kneeled beside you, helping you to sit up with a groan. He noticed the way you held your ribs on the right side of your body, most likely bruised at the very least from the impact of your parachute deploying. “What happened?” 

“We got shot down.” Jake said the four words no aviator ever wanted to hear. “You blacked out on impact.” He explained tentatively, not wanting to scare you any more than you already were. “I pulled your chute.” 

“Rooster! Head back to the carrier, abort the mission!”  It was the last thing Jake could communicate to his wingman before he lost his radio. The fighter jet was totaled, there was no saving it. 

“Hollywood we gotta go! Punch out!” Jake shouted over the warning signals that blared in the cockpit as he spun out of control. There was no worse feeling than burning in. He hadnt experienced it often, only once before–but it still felt the same if not worse than that last time. “Y/n?” When you didn't respond Jake knew something was wrong, as he turned to look behind him he saw you slumped forward and unresponsive. “Dammit Hollywood!” Jake did the only thing he could think of that would help you– he reached over and pulled at the yellow and black ejection handle between your legs. 

Almost immediately the canopy went flying as you shot out of the fighter jet. Jake saw your chute deploy–relief flooded his system before he pulled his own ejection handle. It sent him flying high into the sky at the speed of light. He just prayed when he hit the ground he’d be able to find you alive and well.

The time between the moment Jake hit the snow covered ground below to the moment he found you lying between the trees was far too long. He ditched his chute and ran and ran and ran until he was at your side. But there wasn't a mountain he wouldn't climb to reach you. That much was true. You were his WSO. His responsibility. 

“Rooster?” You asked as it all came racing back. “Did he–?” You didn't even need to finish your sentence before Jake was giving you some sort of peace of mind. 

“As far as I know he turned back to the carrier after we got hit. I haven't seen him doing any flyovers.” Jake explained softly as he assessed your current state. “How many fingers am I holding up?” You watched as Jake held his hand up in front of your face and moved it side to side. You followed his every move. 

“Two.” You said confidently, still sitting in the snow. “I'm fine, promise, just a little bruised.” 

“You think you can walk?” Jake was helping you to your feet before you even gave him a response. “I'm sorry you're in this mess with me, it's just–” It was your turn to interrupt as Jake wrapped your arm around his shoulders to help you stand. If you had seen him demonstrate this kind of behaviour three days ago you would have sworn black and blue you were dreaming, or that some fictitious creature from another realm had replaced the Jake Seresin you’d been flying with for the past few weeks. But after seeing his harrowing attapet to save his wingman's life without a single second of hesitation, you knew Jake actually cared about the people around him. 

“It's fine.” You hissed as you took your first guided steps on wobbly legs after falling out of the sky. “You were protecting your wingman, I would have done the same thing.” Jake had a pretty nasty gash on the side of his head from when he’d landed pretty ungracefully. The side of his helmet cut into his temple on impact. “But now we’re down here, with no backup.” 

“E-stats are still working.” Jake reminded you as he continued to help you further into the woods, hoping that it could break the chill of the raging wind. “They’ll see us, hopefully, if we just stay put surely the carrier will be able to track our location.” You knew right then and there that Jake was bluffing, you were smack bang in a communication desert. 

“Hangman–” You sighed as he helped you sit down against a rock that was further in, Jake didn't miss the way you squinted as you did so, still holding your ribcage like something was wrong. “I don't think anyone will come back for us.” You did your best to try and block out the pain radiating whenever you took a breath in. “It would make more noise than they want to make.” 

“You don't know my squad Hollywood.” Jake smirked as he shook his head slightly with a chuckle. He was right, you didn't know the lengths they’d all go to for each other. Jake reached out to cup your cheeks softly, the pad of his thumb swiped at the blood that had dripped down from your nose. “Someone will come, we just gotta get comfy till then.” There was a moment of silence that passed as Jake really took a moment to drink in your features. Even through all the snow and all the worry your eyes still sparkled the same way they did when he first met you in Admiral Simpson's office. “Your ribs? You think they’re broken?” 

“Probably just bruised from the impact.” You replied, lost in your own mind as you stared at Jake’s features. From his eyebrows to his emerald green eyes that you swore swirled with desire. Everything was perfect, even the dusting of that five o’clock shadow that was threatening to expose his not so clean cut navy aesthetic. 

“Can I have a look?” You missed the feeling of Jake's hand on your cheek the minute he was gone and had pulled away. You couldn't help but to chuckle as you compiled and started undoing your flight suit. 

“You trying to cop a feel Seresin?” 

“Would that be the worst thing in the world?” He teased back almost too quickly to not have already been on his mind. Jake was as careful as he could be when you had undone your flight suit enough to expose your black under shirt. He watched as you lifted up the cotton fabric enough so that he could press his palm softly against where your ribs were killing. His heart broke when you whimpered, he knew you were holding back as much as you could. “I know why they call you Hollywood, you know.” Jake thought a distraction from the pain and the situation in general would be good. He kept pressing his fingers around your side trying to see if he could feel anything unusual. He knew it hurt like hell, but when your eyes met his as he looked up at you from where he was kenaling beside you–he hoped the distraction helped. 

“Oh yeah?” Jake could hear the pain in your voice as you tried to breathe through his poking and prodding. “What's the consensus?” You groaned through gritted teeth as tears threatened to spill down your cheeks. 

“Your dads Rick Neven.” Jake concluded as he finished up his examination. “I thought maybe you were some childhood hollywood hotshot at first but then I overheard Mav telling Mando that you looked just like him.” Jake paused for a moment, reading the terrain of your reaction—when you didn’t totally annihilate him for figuring it out, he pressed on. “You don’t like people knowing you’re practically Navy Royalty, hence your mums maiden name.” He shrugged all the while you worked to fix your flight suit up. “And just like you said, just bruised, not breaks.” 

It was hard to believe the same man who hadn’t really looked in your general direction for the better half of the time you knew him was paying this much attention to you now. But then again, he had been the one who got you into this mess in the first place. If you were gonna play the blame game. 

“Guess there was some depth to it after all huh?” You referred back to the very beginning, to when you had first met Jake. He smiled at you with that golden boy grin that took over the entire expanse of his face. 

“Yeah, yeah I guess there was.” Jake knew just by flying with you, albeit reluctantly, these past few weeks, that you were an extraordinary weapons systems officer. You knew your stuff as well as he knew his shit and together you actually made a pretty decent team. He’d been wrong about you personally though. He kept his distance knowing you were only supposed to be around for this particular detachment then you were off again. There was no real reason to get to know you when you'd be gone in the blink of an eye. But oh how Jake was kicking himself for that thought process. Because now here he was, stuck in the middle of nowhere with the very same WSO he’d been actively trying to not get to know. Something told him though the pair of you were going to have a hell of a lot of time to get to know one another. “The sun's starting to set, we should probably find somewhere to spend the night, maybe make a fire.” Jake looked around, trying to see if there was a place in eyesight where the two of you could make camp for the night. It wasn't ideal, but what else was there to do?

“Yeah–yeah that's probably–” Before you could finish your sentence you heard the unmistakable sound of tree branches being crushed under the weight of footsteps. You spun around to see what was behind you and your heart sank into your stomach. 

Insurgents, pointing guns directly at you and Jake. 

“Jake.” You whispered as you stood slowly, they didn't make any attempt to move from their positionings. Crouched behind rocks, trees and some were just out in the open. They were everywhere. Surrounding the both of you so that there was no way out. 

“Get behind me.” It was the only thing Jake could think about, protecting you. He got you into this mess and he was sure as hell going to get you out of it. He ushered you behind him, making sure to keep turning periodically to look at all angles, wondering if there was by chance a way out of this. “Listen to me, you say nothing, you hear me?” Jake reminded you as he assessed how many you were outnumbered by. “No matter what you don't say anything.” 

You’d seen movies before, what could happen to a woman held as a prisoner of war. You couldn’t help it when your mind went straight to that awful place.

“Jake, don't let them take me away from you.” It was the worst situation Jake had ever found himself in. “Please—don’t let them.” You begged as tears streamed down your face. You fisted at the back of Jake's flight gear he had yet to take off. Holding him as close to you as you possibly could. You were beyond terrified. 

“Put your hands where I can see them!” One of the insurgents shouted as he stepped closer, still aiming his assault weapon directly at the two of you. “Don’t make any sudden movements besides raising your hands above your head.” 

He was wearing all black clothes, they all were. Against the white of the snow it made them stand out like sore thumbs. But they did well enough to cover their faces. No identities were exposed besides your own and Jakes. 

“I want your word that you won’t hurt her.” Jake growled as he began to raise his arms around his head. Palms facing out. You didn’t dare to move as Jake felt you balling his uniform in your hands a little tighter. “Don’t you touch her.” Jake had his attention drawn to the insurgent in front of him all the while you had your face buried between his shoulder blades—trying to shelter yourself from this hellscape. “Touch her and I swear I’ll kill you all.” 

“Lieutenant, I highly doubt you're an incompetent man, so I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt when I remind you that you have absolutely no authority or power whatsoever in this situation.” The insurgent snickered as he approached closer. “Take the girl.” He tilted his chin in the direction of his men standing off to the side. Before you could react, they were on you. 

“JAKE!!” You screamed at the top of your lungs as one of them wrapped their arms around your waist and pulled you away harshly—Jake felt your hands slip from the Normex of his flight suit as he spun around to try and grab your wrist. 

“Don’t touch her!” Jake warned again. 

“No! No! Stop please—PLEASE!” Jake hated your pleas, your screams would forever haunt his heart. His fingers grazed yours as he whipped around to reach for you. “LET ME GO! GET OFF OF ME!” 

“I SAID DONT TOUCH—“ Before Jake could finish his sentence he was in the ground lying in the snow face down. The insurgent making the orders had hit him over the back of the head with his gun. It was enough to make you stop struggling, enough to make you stop resisting. 

There was a moment where you just stood there in the detainment of insurgents, taking in everything that was happening. Just how were you going to survive this? This wasn’t in the mission parameters. 

“Get them to the truck, before we lose any more light.” The insurgent ordered before he turned around, shouting over his shoulder at his men. Jake lying out cold in the snow was the last thing you saw before it all went black. You felt a pinch at the side of your neck before everything went black and your knees gave in. 

“Keep them alive, for now.” It was the last thing you heard before everything went numb. “I want answers.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***

Tags 🏷️ @americaarse @blindedbythelightt @tayl0rhuynh @athenabarnes @imaginecrushes @whyareallnamesgone @mjmaximoffbarnes @amiets2 @mads-weasley @gabbyella @ephemeralninon @xoxabs88xox @pedrohoe04 @starkleila @je-suis-prest-rachel @clancycucumber230 @maisie-rebloging-blog @callsign-barbell @obiwankenobis-lap @some-lovely-day @paperbag333 @callsign-magnolia @jhiddles03 @hardballoonlove @shanimallina87 @seitmai @abaker74 @missemrose @starset21 @kmc1989 @phoenix1388 @emma8895eb

#bruises // jake seresin #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin fanfiction #jake seresin imagine #jake hangman seresin x reader #Jake Seresin Whump #jake hangman x y/n #jake hangman imagine #top gun hangman

[thesirencult]

PAC READING: YOUR DIVINE FEMININE'S AURA

Discussing your feminine's general aura and characteristics. Friendly for both men and girls/theys who like girls. You can also pick it to see how your aura is as a feminine ❤️

Book your reading by sending me a private message xoxo S.

Pile 1

7 of pentacles, 8 of pentacles, 10 of swords

Your DF has the aura of a sweet herbal witch. She lives in her little cabin in the woods and like a fairy she works on perfecting her craft. Greens and purples look great on her.

This is a slow and steady energy. This is someone who loves taking their time. She loves learning and implementing her skills. Making coffee becomes a daily ritual and same goes as washing the dishes.

Her attention to detail is immaculate and that can drive you crazy sometimes but you know that with all that good comes some bad. Very well presented, you can take her anywhere and all eyes will be on her. Very earthy, stable and focused on building a foundation for all things practical before she jumps onto commitment.

Her steady "working on myself" attitude stems from getting backstabbed one too many times. She knows that she has to build herself up and after that all her dreams will manifest. She is into self development and may love going through that tag on Tumblr. She may even be a blogger herself.

She is investing in herself and doesn't shy away from learning about accounting or law. Nothing will stand on her way to that cute fairy cottage *aggressive cute walk* 😉.

Pile 2

9 of pentacles, queen of swords, the magician

Whoever has this DF as a counterpart or has that aura, WOW. Miss Independent. A handful. We love seeing that *sprinkle, sprinkle* here. CEO. That's C-Suite energy!

This woman is someone powerful and dominant. Like a race horse you will always bet on because you KNOW, it will always come first 😉 (pun intended). She works very very hard for what she wants and similar to pile 1 she can be in accounting, finance and law. Good with numbers and her hands. I bet she has a dirty sense of humour.

From the first moment you see her you will know she is the real deal. Others blend in the background while she power walks in the room. Penetrating stare and red bottom high heels, her allure is different. She doesn't have to show dominance, others feel that she is the boss. Mami energy. Ferocious when someone comes for her loved ones. She could even be in law enforcement.

Red and brown. Symbolising high energy that's still grounded and serious. Do not cross her.

Pile 3

King Of Swords, Knight Of Wands, Ace Of Swords

Now, this one? A handful ! Try to tie her down. You just can't. A brat.

This person is very fluid. They don't care about terms and conditions. They are highly intelligent and her mind walks a thin line between spirituality and logic. The most unconventional, they will find a solution no one sees yet it's right in front of them. Highly intellectual and well versed in philosophy and math.

This reminds of a movie with James Franco where he played a start up founder who was into spirituality. A crazy genius. A party is a party and they will be there.

Partying in Ibiza? They've done that. Phuket for a Muay Thai Camp? That did that last year! Eiffel tower to try a croissant with pistachio filling? They just got back yesterday and guess what? They hate pistachios.

This person is the type to run a start up company focused on clean energy and when shit hits the fun they will call an astrologer and ask for recommendations. They respect everyone. They will listen to your mom and dad when they talk about their days and take mental notes of great ideas. They know great ideas come from the most unconventional places and fields.

Pile 4

Page Of Cups, Page Of Swords, The Fool (5 Of Swords + 8 Of Swords + 5 Of Pentacles flew out)

This can be my age difference pile. They will run you to the ground lol.

This is someone with lots of mental capacity. You ask them about World War II and they will tell you how Nazis and Churchill used astrology and why the war happened and after 5 hours you will be listening to them about Ancient Mesopotamia. "How did we get here?" You will think.

Well, it doesn't matter cause you love listening to their voice and their warm heartfelt laugh. They look innocent and pure and even if they try to intimidate you you will let them think they can but in reality they look like a cinnamon roll and they are a cinnamon roll. Their life was not the best and they have lots of trust issues. They may look innocent but their eyes hide a painful past. Like a kitten thrown out and left out in the cold they feel lost and unappreciated.

You listening to them means the world and you will be shocked at how appreciative they are and how loving with you. They are very romantic and they may have great expectations and daydreams about their love life.

I get that you might start off as friends and meet in a very random way on a daily run or while getting groceries or a tire changed. You will immediately fall in love with them and they will seem like they don't suspect a thing. Let me tell you, they know, they are just too scared to show their feelings and until you grab them and kiss em you won't know how much passion is brewing underneath this innocent and clever facade. They might turn into pile number 2 in a few years lol.

Ready for everything, you will always be a warm embrace and their home when they come back from exploration. You will love how they yawn while reading a book and how they stretch when they wake up showing revealing their tummy. They are cute to you, even if everyone else sees them differently, that's how you view them. They might be a black mysterious cat but you think of them as a tired little kitten waiting for a safe home that will accept them as they are.

#astrology #tarot reading #tarot #pick a card #pick a pile #pac reading #pick a photo #pick a picture #soulmate #future spouse

[novantinuum]

Pink Onyx AU- An Analysis and Theory Post, Part 1

[Part 1- You are here!] | [Part 2] | [Part 3] | [Part 4] | [Part 5]

~

Howdy! Those of you who have followed me for a while have probably been seeing my reblogs of the @pink-onyx-au comic made by @ceephorsshitshow. Well, today I wanna share with you something a little different than my usual SU meta… because today I’m gonna analyze this really cool fan work with the same level of seriousness as I do canon. (Like. Seriously. This first post alone is really, really long. I put most of it under a cut.)

This particular comic is a very special one for me to watch unfold, because it’s evident that a lot of deep care and attention to detail has been poured into its creation. There’s fascinating bits of expanded character development to chew into here, as well as plenty of mysteries and lingering questions for us readers to muse and theorize over. If you follow me for Steven Universe and haven’t read this AU yet I highly recommend you check it out. The most basic pitch is that it explores what a fusion between Steven and Jasper might look like, and does a LOT of deep-diving into the similarities and differences of both of those characters’ psyches.

Here’s the episode masterpost on tumblr.

And you can find it on Tapas, too! 

(Note: For the purposes of these posts, I was given permission by the comic artist to post screenshots of various pages where relevant in this discussion. For each frame used I will list the episode and page number for easy reference. Additionally, this post and all future ones on the topic will contain full spoilers for the comic thus far.)

Now with all that introductory stuff out of the way, here we go!

__

So, on the final page of the most recent update, we get one hell of a visual plot bomb for Steven as ol’ Onyx unfuses:

(Episode 9: Page 22)

He’s now visually expressing remnants of his corruption, where before he was not.

And it’s this mysterious plot point in particular that got me wanting to analyze this comic more deeply in the first place. This is completely new for him in this story. Thus far, he’s never expressed any of these remnants when he’s just himself- not in the way Jasper does. So it made me wonder… how might this shift in his appearance play into the ultimate trajectory of the plot? How does Steven suddenly showcasing corruption scars integrate into the larger story that is being spun here about him and Jasper and how they relate to each other?

Well, there’s a lot of comic details and story lore we need to unpack first before I can take my best theorizer’s stab at this. Let’s dig right in.

__

Prelude: The analyst’s treasure is in the speech bubbles

Anyone who’s been a fan of this comic for a while has probably noticed these fun visual details already, but I’m going to take a moment to break down what I believe each speech bubble style signifies for folks who may not have context. It’ll make some of my analysis later a bit easier, too, ahah.

So. Speech bubbles. What kinds do we have here? 

(Episode 1: Page 6)

Style number one: Solid with black text

This style is standard for non-fused characters, and is also utilized when a fused character is speaking whilst in a state of internal harmony.

Steven is pink and Jasper is orange, of course. Onyx’s speech bubbles are a distinct darker pink, and the main three Crystal Gems get their own colors as well. More minor characters get white bubbles.

(Episode 1: Page 10)

Style number two: Scribbly pink lettering overlaying black text

Whenever you see this type of speech bubble, it’s a sign that there is some level of internal discord going on within Steven or Onyx that is related to their diamond side. It usually shows up when one of the two is in pink mode, but from what I can tell this is not a solid rule.

(Episode 2: Page 12)

Style number three: Pink/orange mixed bubbles

This is how we see Onyx talking for a good portion of the early comic. Their speech bubbles are a clean mix of Steven’s pink and Jasper’s orange. And most vitally, the color on the top and the tail signifies which of them is “fronting” at that moment.

(Episode 3: Page 11)

Style number four: White bubble with solid pink text

So far, this style has only been used to represent dialogue that is being spoken by Steven’s gem half exclusively. Which makes things very interesting, as in Steven’s own remembrances of shattering Jasper on the very first page of the comic, the line “I have been holding back!” is shown in this specific style, instead of the scribbly pink lettering that signifies internal discord.

There is one additional sub-style here- and this is the one moment where we get Onyx’s mixed bubble but WITH the solid pink text. 

(Episode 3: Page 11)

I believe these two styles pretty much mean the same thing… only, the white/pink text is either viewed within memory or a metaphoric fusion mindscape where we the viewer are actually “seeing” Steven’s instability, and thus can “see” his gem half as a separate entity there. While, in reality, this is an argument Onyx is having with the disparate pieces of themself.

(Episode 4: Page 9)

Style number five: Pink/orange tye-dye mixed bubbles

When you see that darker shade of pink start dappling into the standard mixed bubbles, this indicates that there are small whispers of Onyx’s true personality beginning to surface, instead of them constantly being wrested back and forth between Steven and Jasper’s conscious control.

(Episode 4: Page 16)

Style number six: Pink/orange mixed bubbles, but with a darker pink tail

From this page onwards, Onyx’s speech bubbles always have their darker pink shading the tail no matter who is fronting. Sometimes there are little lines of another color etched out of it, and sometimes the tail is solid dark pink. I like to believe that when it’s solid, it means that Onyx is just a little closer to reaching a fully harmonious state than when it’s not.

(Episode 9: Page 6)

Style number seven: Onyx speech/thought bubbles with a hint of pink/orange underlying

This style seems to signify moments where it’s still Onyx fully in control of themself and their actions/words/thoughts, but they’re taking subtle influence from their components or accessing their memory a bit.

These are all of the distinct styles I have caught so far, but quite honestly, it would not surprise me if I am missing something. All of this to say… pay close attention to the speech bubbles. They can tell you a lot about Onyx’s state of mind throughout the story.

Now with all this established, I’d like to finish off this first post with my first big discussion point.

__

Question One: What does Jasper actually know about Steven’s “meltdown,” if anything?

The AU author recently solidified this comic’s placement in the SUF timeline in an ask response, saying that the first episode takes place just a week after Steven’s corruption event.

I’m glad this point was clarified, because it was super vital information which deeply influenced the way I analyzed Steven’s actions and responses in my recent re-read… it means this experience is still super raw for him. This is VERY important and we’ll get back to this in more depth later in future posts. But first, let’s explore what Jasper knows of this event.

The full extent of her knowledge is unclear-

(Episode 1: Page 6)

In Episode 1, Steven briefly alludes to his corruption as seen above… referring to it as “[his] meltdown.” Notably, Jasper does not seem to ask any questions about this stray comment. This COULD suggest that she knows what happened to him a week prior via hearsay, but given the context of the rest of the scene and the fact that she’s as isolated as she is out here I genuinely wonder if she thinks Steven’s so-described “meltdown” is his shattering of her.

This idea would make a good deal of sense, as she doesn’t start to make any commentary on the topic of corruption at all until they’re actually fused- with Steven bringing it up first.

(Episode 2: Page 14)

On this page, Steven takes note of Onyx’s very visible spikes (which are Overtly in the same placement as his own when he was corrupted), and initiates the musing upon his own corruption himself.

With the way Jasper phrases her response, the vibe I get is that she somehow gleans a bit of ambient shared knowledge about what happened to him through their fusion.

(Episode 2: Page 15) 

“That human form you wear must have been hiding your markings.” This quote is SUPER vital. We’ll come back to this later on in this post series, too.

(Episode 2: Page 15)

It’s clear that Jasper doesn’t REALLY understand what he went through or what caused it, since she then outright mistakes the casual woes and body pains of organic life as corruption. (As seen above.) 

(Episode 8: Page 4)

But later on, she outright relates to him over their shared experience of past corruption, so she must at least know enough from mere ambient thought-sharing by this point to recognize it happened.  

It’s obvious that she’s barely scratched the surface on fully understanding her fusion partner, though. Neither of them have. It’s gonna take a lot of fusion, comedic mishaps, and genuine conversation to get there. All in good time, I’m sure.

__

Please do join me tomorrow at 7am PST for the next post in this series! This has been a blast to write up and muse upon.

#su #su future #steven universe #jasper #pink onyx #su meta #pink onyx au #my post stuff

[autisticempathydaemon]

Hello! Are you hyperfixated on RedactedAudio?

Do you want (need) to know who to follow to cultivate your dashboard and feed your gremlin brain good, good boyfriend roleplay content?

Cool, I’ve got you, and I’ve got hyperlinks. Buckle up.

(Note: This is by no means a comprehensive, objective, or complete list. I've only been in the fandom for six months or so. I have biases and favorites and limited time. I hope to update this list periodically, and if you feel I've missed someone, please feel free to reblog with your additions! I just would have loved a guide like this when I got into the fandom back in August and wanted to spread some positivity~!)

Fanfiction:

@angelnoodlesoup: she/her

Sophie is just one of the sweetest David stans that's ever existed who writes, like, the sweetest things about him. Her posts are just going to make you feel warm, fluffy, soft things in your heart area; give into the sweetness. Highlights: Sophie writes this adorable timestamp series of vignettes exploring Davey and Angel's day, but I'm particularly attacked to their David/Angel neighbors to lovers AU~

@arrowfleur

I was actually going to put Max in the visual content portion of this post, because they post delightful Redacted edits on Tiktok (under the same username, highly recommend~), but then they made a uquiz that gave me an existential crisis, so here we are. Highlights: This quiz sent my whole server for a loop and has made me reconsider my relationship with Lovely as a character and kin; it's a great time.

@batch-of-pengwings: robin/bird, she/her

Robin, an absolute sweetheart who makes all the fun ask games that keep the community interconnected and thinking and talking which is just really sweet and fun in the best way. Highlights: The Winter Wonderland game is the one who went around most recently, and it’s so fun to engage with the fandom and discuss who we think is stupid enough to get their tongues stuck on a telephone poll~

@bicyclepainting: they/them

Clover, the fandom's resident Smartass, doing the lord's work and reminding us all how fucking smoochable Aaron is on a regular basis on top of being the coolest astrology nerd don't give them your birth chart you will be perceived /lh Highlights: No one is doing Aaron/Smartass like they are; like, read and absorb the delicious, domestic delight that is them. I also recommend their deep dives into the Redacted bois signs, if you're into that; they're very thorough and fun to read!

@cashandprizes: she/they

My Lexi, my queerplatonic soulmate… She is on a quest to dissect and critique fandom brick by philosophical brick, and I both love her and fear her in equal measure. (That’s a lie, I love her infinitely, more than anything, but she is in fact incredibly intelligent and intimidating.) Highlights: Come for the scathing insights into gray-morality and DD:DNE’s place in fiction, stay for the stripper!Gavin fic they’re working on and their sequel to Lasko’s SexTember audio because she really wanted to make him cry

@ejunkiet: she/her

EJ, the very first of my Redacted loves~ Not only is EJ an endless well of kindness and positivity, but she also writes fucking bomb ass everything. You get angst, you get smut, you get fluff- We stan a multitalented, ace queen. (She also writes really cute CastleAudios fanfiction and original stuff as a cherry on top.) Highlights: EJ writes just some of my favorite David/Angel smut; she captures Angel's little shit nature perfectly. She's also written the sweetest thing of Damien meeting Huxley's moms that I can't get enough of~

@dominimoonbeam: she/her

Domini, truly one of the pillars of the fandom. I don't know what'd we'd be without her fantastic fics or her original novellas or her fantastic, beautiful, rarepair-creating brain. Highlights: God, there's too many to choose from! There's the Sam/Darlin fake dating AU that has us all gripped by the proverbial balls. There's the David/Darlin tattoo shop AU that has me frothing at the mouth because tattoo artists are stinkin hot. That's not even getting into their Cam/William fic, because god, that is such a good rarepair. We love two immortals finding love with one another, we really do. My personal favorite has got to be their Huxley/Darlin piece though, because Darlin gets to be cute and awkward and so, so loved in it.

@frenchiefitzhere: she/her

Frenchie, the fandom's unofficial (but basically official) Marie Greer, not only a gorgeous writer but also the creator of the most fantastical and unique fansongs (who makes original audio content to boot~) Highlights: We would be nowhere as a fandom without the Marie/Colm greer backstory and saga or her audios as the Greer Matriarch herself, but personally? Her Imperium!Lasko/Adam fic kind of changed my life, I'm kind of obsessed with it.

@friendlyfaded: he/him

Miles, the king and professor of the rarepairs! Beware, you will leave his blog wishing for fics for a ship that doesn’t actually exist yet. It’s unavoidable when you read the careful, creative, thoughtful way he considers seemingly silly pairings and makes them gorgeous. Highlights: I recommend his whole rarepairs with prof tag for a snack and his Sweetheart/Lasko/Milo fic for a whole meal~

@gingerbreadmonsters: she/her

Ginger, literally one of the sweetest, friendliest people in the entire Internet. I cannot adequately describe the absolute magnificent poetry of Ginger's prose, so you just have to read it for yourself. You will not be disappointed. Highlights: Ginger's Milo/Sweetheart series is for if you're feeling sweet, and her Vincent/Lovely/Gavin/Freelancer foursome fic is if you're feeling spicy~ Or if you're like me and are longing for an character we'll never see again, you can read her gorgeous, Doctor Who-inspired look in Marcus's mind.

@glassbearclock: she/her

Beans, also known as the best Milo/Sweetheart writer in the game. Their banter is taken from the mouth of god and first name Erik last name Redacted himself, and you could not convince me otherwise. Highlights: I’m a big fan of her sweet, wholesome, Jewish!Milo sick fic, but aYO her Milo/Sweetheart first date fic is so good y’all like goddamn Sweetheart phases through their door and makes Milo faceplant it on accident man that shit is so good

@horrorscoupes: they/he

My beautiful, darling Lotus, my gloriously deranged brother in arms (affectionate). The way they write each and every d(a)emons is just so -chef kiss-. Highlights: I think about their Regulus/Doll fic, like, literally every day, it's just yummy and depraved. Though, for a true taste of genius, for a galaxy brain treat, you've got to read his Shark!Vega/Pet masterpiece.

@k9rage: he/xi

My beloved Calico, our helpful Image Description fairy. He is just so cool and writes the most glorious smut like the world has ever seen. As of publishing, he's writing a Vega/Lasko street racing AU that's gonna be just smoke ash cinder fire hot. Highlights: You need to read his Damien/Gavin waxplay fic; like, this changed my life, I think about it daily. Ooh, AND his Aaron/SmartAss/Gavin threesome fic, because he didn't do all that thinking and imagining for us to not appreciate it. I'm also reccing @calicostorms, his other blog and spotify, so you can get at his stellar Redacted character playlists!

@lovelylonerliterature: 

Lovely, absolute stand-out writer in the fandom! Would you believe they have a whole (as of posting) 95 works for the RedactedASMR fandom on AO3? There’s <2000 fics, which makes Lovely a whole five percent of the fanfiction on their own. That’s wild and so hella cool. Highlights: Literally everything they write. Explore their extremely well done masterlist, it’s beautifully put together, and you’ll find something you love. (I’m particularly fond of the Darlin/Vega fic they wrote based off of one of FriendlyFaded’s posts~)

@romirola: she/her

Dr. Romi, the one and the only and one of the legitimate sweetest goddamn people that has ever existed. You've never met a more polite, darling person in all your days. How did she write all these thousands of words of art while getting a doctorate? God, I wish I knew... if only we could also be so beautiful and wonderful and accomplished. Highlights: You haven't existed until you've read her Milo/Sweetheart Tangled AU; like, what are you doing here? GO. (I also deeply recommend her found family Shaw Pack + Sam fic, if you're looking for something that's still ongoing!)

@sealriously-sealrious: they/them

Chrys who writes- no contest I think we can all agree- the best Huxley that this fandom has ever seen. He is just so well-explored and so multifaceted, just the top-tier himbo content we all need and deserve. Highlights: Huxley and Freelancer at the aquarium, Huxley and Freelancer going camping, sfw, nsfw, whatever you want, we've GOT. (There's even some imperium!Huxley, if you're so inclined >:))

@starlitangels: she/her

Starlit, another absolute powerhouse of the fandom. Just look at this masterlist, I think there’s something here for literally every character. That’s what babes call RANGE. Highlights: The way they explore the Shaw pack is so fun; I’d highly recommend her fic exploring Gabe and his backstory or her fic exploring the Shaw’s future pups~!

@taelonsamada: she/her

A pillar- or should I say fence post?- of the fandom and just an utter peach. Always has a nice word to say and says the best nice words about Sam and Darlin- Highlights: Her nsfw Geordi/Cutie fic holds a special place in my heart (the blindfold? the gag? Be still my beating heart), but you haven’t lived until you’ve read her Shaw-centric Ranch AU~!

@teasandcardigans: she/her

Mads, another lovely creator that could be in either section of this post- that's how talented she is! Not only is she a lovely writer but she also designs the most fun Redacted stickers! Also, she's got the only Redacted fan tiktok that Erik has confirmed seen and liked, can't not mention that it's so cool Highlights: Honestly, there's too many to mention! A really popular of hers is a "What If" echo-esque reimagining of everyone's stories which is so fun, and my personal, biased favorite is her Alexis & Gavin fic hear me OUT-

@the-sugar-crash

Cait, out here doing the most and the best. They’ve run the Redacted Winter Gift Exchange for the past two years, connecting blogs who might have never spoken to each other, inspiring creativity, and spreading holiday cheer~ Highlights: I recommend taking a look-see through the “Redacted 2022 Winter Gift Exchange” tag- much thanks to Cait for making it possible- to consider if you’d like to join next year! Until then, there’s a compilation of their cute headcanon posts to inspire you!

@zozo-01: she/her

Zo, one of the sweetest people in the fandom~ Not only is she a fantastic writer, but she is also one of the friendliest people in the space! Constantly excited and supportive and positive and a joy to follow and befriend. Highlights: Her Sam/Darlin Deity AU is going to change the world and break some hearts, I just know it. (Just like her Alexis and Darlin meeting fic broke mine-) If you're not up to getting your heart broken and just want a friend, I recommend asking her about her Powerpoint of Bollywood scenes that could be Sam/Darlin moments~!

Fanart:

@andr0leda: she/they

Androleda’s art is so gorgeous in that most of them are uncolored or working with a smaller palette, and it just makes those colors stand out and the line work all the more elegant. Highlights: Their wolf!Darlin piece got so popular, and you can see why! It looks like the cover of a really cool YA fantasy novel. Also, her Sam/Darlin art just melts the heart- the gentle hand, the key around the neck-!

@artbykays

Kays, a fantastic artist who plays around with the prettiest, brightest colors and has the prettiest (hottest) fem listeners. They also have super fun Redacted playlists! Highlights: Their Sweetheart, Valentina, is kind of smokin hot, I mean look at her, but also good lord, have you seen their Warden like lock me up anytime hello-

@belovedbow

Bow’s art just makes me so soft and gooey inside I dunno. Their art is so pretty, and they always have the most expressive faces. Not to mention the colors- like, Bow uses the simplest but most emotionally evocative shades of pinks and blues that make me inexplicably feel things, and I love it. Highlights: Literally all their Davey/Angel is the sweetest, but I also have this deep fondness for their imp!FL and Vindemiator pieces, because look at these deep, mournful blues, they’re beautiful!

@cascadiiing: they/them

Atlas creates the most beautiful, squishable, smoochable characters on top of being the most beautiful, squishable, smoochable (platonic) sweetie in existence~ they’re so sweet and friendly on top of being so talented at such a young age, and I would protect them with my life. Highlights: Their Sam kind of makes me so lovesick, I could barf- he’s just that pretty. Their Alexis/Christian art is fanart of my own fic, I’ll grant you, but it’s also so fucking pretty look at the dreamy colors and it MOVES-

@claracatlady

Where would we be without Clara, like honestly- What really stands out about their art is- other than the overwhelming talent- the obvious thought and joy that went into designing the outfits. Only the best from our resident fashion design student! Highlights: literally everything. If I must be specific, the David design pinned to their blog is utterly ahdhkakshdjsk, and I am particularly partial to their Alexis design, because I love my beautiful, possibly complex lady okay-

@fregget-frou : he/they

Mal has the prettiest Listeners; I’m lowkey in love with all of them~ I love the way he does such fluffy, voluminous hair, and I dunno, all their listener OC’s have this fashion model-esque glamour and posture about them that’s really attractive. Highlights: Of their listeners, Mal’s Angel has got to be my favorite. Look at this fluffy-haired cutie! Look at this menace! I would also propose to them, they’re gorgeous!

@gwenifred: she/her

Gwen draws the most gorgeous, swoon-worthy Huxleys and is just a big sweetpea to boot. Her and Pali sharing OC’s and art trades here and on Twitter is a testament to how friendly and sweet the fandom can be! Highlights: Everything she draws is gorgeous, but you haven’t lived until you’ve seen her animation work!

@ice-palace-art: They/It/He/Dae

Darby has some of the most beautiful designs, I can hardly stand it. He creates the most gorgeous, realistically proportioned characters and listeners, and they’re just really smoochable okay let me live- Highlights: It has this one piece of Gavin and Lasko having a sleepover that fills me with the warm fuzzies every time I see it, and their Aaron design fills me with longing I am hopelessly in love with their dad-bodded Aaron.

@itsdaifuku: she/her

Y’all don’t even know the little happy stim storm Fuku’s art sets me on; like, all her art is so cute and joyful and somehow colorful even when it’s in black and white? It just gives the vibe of life and vibrancy constantly? How does she do that? Highlights: Literally, everything she draws is gorgeous and sweet, though her designs for the Shaws and their mates are so S-tier and so cute. (I’m also particularly fond of her designs for Love and Alexis, my favorite characters, I’m biased, sue me)

@mr-laveau: he/they

Laveau, my favorite Milo kinnie~ (Yeah, I said it out loud; I’m callin you out.) Charming, thoughtful, friendly, much more talented than they have any right to be when they’re also so funny and sweet, AND also writing at their other blog @bratty-telepath. You’ve never seen such a double threat. Highlights: Literally, everything he makes. All his designs are colorful and gorgeous and filled to the brim with deliberate, intentional details (though I am incredibly partial to their Alexis and Darlin designs and the parallels he included between them.)

@nais-doodles

Nai is a fucking blessing unto this fandom, and we are not worthy. You haven’t really lived, haven’t experienced all the pure, positive silliness that this hellsite has to offer until you experience Nai’s Redacted Actor AU. It’s pure serotonin, and we’re all here listening to Boyfriend ASMR, I know we could use it. Highlights: Other than said AU posts (which really are so fuckin good), have you seen their drawing of Vincent and Sam’s Monarchal ball? Ooh, and if you go to their tiktok under the same username, you can see some of the really cool dating sim they’re working on!

@nanowatzophina: any pronouns

Na’no is not only a must follow on tumblr, but I also highly recommend their tiktok if you wish to wade through the horrid cesspool of that app (I say with tiktok as one of my top social media sites- we have a codependent relationship) Their art is super cute and expressive, and I get massive gender envy from the way he draws hair and teeth. Highlights: Her aspec Freelancer is just so close to my heart; I adore Avery so deeply. Also, the way they draw imperium!Vega and Pet makes my heart fucking melt and want to jump out my chest- the size difference, my god

@obsessivedino: they/them

Mint’s contribution to the fandom cannot possibly be overstated. Their art style is just so clean and neat and with the cutest expressions, and I love their designs so much, especially for the d(a)emon bois I just ahhhhh Highlights: If you’ve joined the official unofficial Redacted Discord server, you’ve seen their adorable stickers reminding you to kick that ass or hydrate unless you want to die-drate, and you haven’t truly embraced life unless you’ve seen their two-year anniversary masterpiece. Ooh, or pocket caelum!

@palilious: she/her

There is no Redacted fandom or fandom list without Pali, and we’ve all accepted that. Her style is so uniquely and instantaneously recognizable as hers, and everyone adores it, including but not limited to GBA, Nomad, and Cardlin! Highlights: Literally everyone she draws is so pretty, though I have a soft spot for her Vincent or her Nomad drawings if you’re looking for more VAs to listen to!

@pearl-kite: she/they

Kirehn has the most huggable humans and the most awe-inspiring d(a)emons. The way she draws the d(a)emons with constellations worked into the designs and color palettes is just so gorgeous and purposeful and thoughtful. Highlights: Their Vega is so frightening but beautiful, you just can’t look away from him. I’m also particularly in love with their Darlin!

@queendread

Do y’all ever do this thing when you see an ethereally beautiful person and you have no words, all you can do is giggle like a vapid schoolgirl(gn)? That’s me with all of Anna’s paintings: no words, just awe. Highlights: I don’t even really like Gavin, okay, he’s not my type, but lord above, Anna’s Gavin is something else. Their Sam also has those Captain America, boy next door good looks I imagined, it’s like they took him right out of my daydreams.

@ryokoaoi : they/them

Ryo has the absolute cutest, most adorable art style, one can barely handle it! Everything they draw is just so pretty and so colorful and detailed and sweet. (Except the sad things, those are less sweet but gosh they’re still so pretty.) They also have this Magic Swap AU that they design that is so fun to read about! Highlights: Their swapped! Gavin and Avior designs are so fun, I adore them deeply, and if you need something to cheer you up, you can always depend on their DAMN pieces that always include a little invisible Caelum to bring you joy~!

@slushrottweiler: she-they

There is nothing like seeing Slush’s signature blue linework on your dashboard, it’s such a sweet treat- or spicy. There are also very good, very spicy treats. Her blog is a magnificent roulette wheel of blue surprises. Highlights: I love their Sam/Darlin stuff, especially this one because wowee them shoulderblades, but their HuxDami BA piece takes the cake.

@spookybeandoodle

Spooky has my whole heart and wallet and my other heart if I had one I fell in love with their rich color palettes and shading and Alexis right away and had to commission them. Could not recommend enough, they were a treasure to work with~ Highlights: I’m not biased- okay yes I am but not now their Alexis is fuckin smoking hot but also their Cam might be my favorite Cam look at that smile-!

@sri-rachaa: she/her

Rae is such a treasure to this fandom, we hardly deserve her. Her art is so ethereally pretty and delicate? The way she draws hair and noses and silhouettes- her line work is just phenomenal. Everything she creates is just a delight to look at. Highlights: The Southern Siblings AU is a gift, a treasure, a boon that cannot be ignored. I’m also a big fan of her Lovely OC who is ridiculously pretty~

@tankwolf : she/her

June has been posting fanart for only two months, but I’m already absolutely obsessed. I just find her monochrome character portraits so visually engaging and interesting. I would love so badly to be friends with her listener OC’s… Highlights: …or more than friends, because her Sweetheart is something else good lord. I would just love it if June could stop putting the hot people in crop tops please (but also don’t cause whoa)

@terrazaurio

All the fanart Terra creates is so bright and vivid and colorful and expressive, they’re really such a treat to see and experience. I’m a sucker for the colors they use, cause it makes my lizard brain all happy and go “shiny pretty happy.” Highlights: Everything they draw with the Shaw Pack is pure dopamine, like this one of the bois and their mates hanging by the pool. I am particularly attached to this piece from Milo’s HBS, because they’re so fucking in love, your honor, I love them.

@thefablefoxart : she/her

Angelina’s Redacted couple series is one of the truest delights of the fandom; like, they’re so colorful and cute and just adorably designed. I’m also deeply in love with the way she does hair. Everyone just has really fucking good looking hair, and I can’t get over it-Highlights: On top of the aforementioned couple series, I just want to bring attention to this adorable chibi Sam that she drew- it brings me so much serotonin- and their Darlin, Kai who I wish would just give me a shot okay I have a Southern accent too-

If you’re reading all the way here, I hope you found the post helpful and smiled while making your way through it! Or both! The RedactedAudio fandom is truly one of my favorite spaces on the internet; it’s so intimate and creative, and I’ve found some amazing, perfect friends here, so I hope you will too 💖

again playing around with the formatting please stop hurting me tumblr I’m trying to be nice

If you can see this, I love you, and you’re watching me try to format this post so tumblr doesn’t cut off the bottom of it please ignore the Android behind the emerald curtain go about your day

#redactedasmr #redactedverse #redacted asmr #redactedaudio #redacted audio #redacted

[taddy-cat]

The Clocktown Mystery

Wind: IS THAT A BODY?!?!

Chain: *is shook*

Time: meh

Legend: The happy mask salesman is dead! Why aren't you upset about this?

Time: I distinctly recall getting choked by him when I was 10. Makes it a lttle hard to be upset about his death. Or surprised, really

Chain: *chain.exe has stopped working at the traumatic old man lore drop*

(this comic was made after a discussion with @tashacee about plot for her Links in a Chain murder mystery, The Clocktown Mystery, please note it was drawn before I read the aforementioned story and only my thoughts on how finding the body would go. I highly recommend reading the story this is based on though!)

#taddy drew a thing #linked universe #legend of zelda #loz #lu #loz lu #legend of zelda linked universe #lu four #lu wild #lu twilight #lu warriors #lu hyrule #lu legend #lu sky #lu wind #lu time #linked universe wind #linked universe four #linked universe wild #linked universe twilight #linked universe warriors #linked universe hyrule #linked universe legend #linked universe sky #linked universe time #lu happy mask salesman #linked universe happy mask salesman #tw death #tw choking

[gonesgone]

[🧷] / so close, yet so far, part one.

[🧷] \ bridging the gap, part two.

[🫀] / heart to heart, part three.

— synopsis: Izogie comes face to face with her emotions, as well as her past in regards to love.

— pairing: Izogie x black!fem!reader.

— warnings: angst, discussions of loss and grief.

— author’s note: firstly, thank you all so much for journeying with this story. seeing your love and support was really reassuring to me. this last part is long (at least 10k words) but I believe it’s worth it. take care, everyone! — side note: I highly recommend listening to the music attached as you read. it helps to set the mood.

— taglist: @shinsousliya @manibaby13-blog @thewifeoflevi @briacreations96

it’s happening again.

that was the thought that crossed Izogie’s mind when she saw you laying in the middle of the courtyard, lifeless.

after hearing Amenza’s words, her feet had ran directly towards the palace to confirm that they were not true.

“y/n isn’t breathing.”

the weight of those words bore down on her body like a heavy boulder. the sun’s sweltering heat only adding to her already brewing headache.

this has to be some sort of a sick joke, Izogie thought, her heart racing a mile a minute.

when i enter this gate, she’ll be there waiting.

for me.

but upon arrival, the entire place was filled to the brim with people. the agojie, Migan’s men, palace workers, trainees, King Ghezo’s wives and other tribal leaders who came ahead of time for festival day.

as everyone talked amongst themselves, Izogie pushed past their bodies to get to the front. she was covered in sweat, a serious expression on her face. despite the crowd, she managed to make it up close and that was when she saw you.

a look of disbelief instantly found its way onto her face as she slowly approached your frame.

on the ground, your body was limp with bruises all over. you had a black eye that was turning a dark shade of purple. fresh blood stained your lips from a cut you sustained and there was sand on your uniform and in your hair.

before she could get any closer, Nanisca stepped in front, blocking her way.

“Izogie,” the older woman called out.

she didn’t even look at her, gaze still focused on you.

“you shouldn’t be here,” Nanisca continued, her tone filled with worry.

“miganon,” Izogie spoke, her firm voice wavering. “that’s not her, right?”

Nanisca sighed as she held Izogie’s arms.

“please, go back to your quarters. i will brief you on what happened in the evening but for now, just go.”

Izogie swallowed hard.

“tell me that’s not her.”

a pitiful look spread across Nanisca’s face as Izogie’s voice cracked.

“tell me that’s not her and i’ll leave.”

the miganon’s head hung low.

“i cannot do such a thing.”

Izogie’s lips trembled as she stepped to the side, attempting to reach you. Nanisca held her back tightly.

“no one is allowed close to her body until the physician gets here.”

the younger’s jaw clenched, tears welling in her eyes. she stepped forward again, trying to break free from Nanisca’s grasp.

“miganon, please.”

the older woman locked her hands around her body.

“i’m sorry, my child.”

Izogie began thrashing around in Nanisca’s hands. she could feel her throat tightening as her teardrops fell. looking down on you, she felt like she couldn’t breathe.

why?

why was this happening again?

now, the entire courtyard was watching. Nanisca quickly motioned over two agojie soldiers. they held Izogie back as her cries filled their ears.

“bring her back to her quarters,” Nanisca said firmly. “make sure she stays there.”

immediately, Izogie’s legs gave out. as all four of them knelt on the ground, a trance-like expression appeared on her face. it was as if her body had decided to shut down right then and there.

in that moment, the palace physician arrived and ordered for your body to be moved to the infirmary.

the miganon sighed as she gently cupped her successor’s face. the younger’s eyes already seemed so far away.

“be strong, Izogie. for her.”

she then got up and turned on her heel to follow those carrying you. Izogie watched, unable to move.

for the remainder of the afternoon, the physician worked on you. he had Nanisca doing chest compressions as he mixed all sorts of herbs and applied them to your wounds.

outside, Migan was doing his best to keep the order and Amenza went to her quarters to pray with her sacred stones.

by nightfall, news spread that you had regained your breathing. the palace rejoiced upon hearing that you were alive, but there was still an issue.

you were not conscious.

Amenza was tasked with relaying your condition to Izogie but when she arrived, she was heartbroken to see the state her friend was in.

few candles lit up the space and Izogie was sitting with her back against the wall, a blank stare on her face. her brown eyes were devoid of all emotion and Amenza noticed the untouched plate of food the others had brought.

she sat down next to her and gently held one of her hands. it was silent for a while until she spoke softly.

“she’s breathing. we thank the ancestors.”

instantly, Izogie’s hand squeezed hers tightly without saying anything. they watched the candle flames together.

“i want to see her,” the younger said, voice hoarse.

Amenza sighed.

“i’m afraid that is not possible.”

Izogie inhaled and exhaled deeply as she kept her gaze straight ahead.

“why not?”

a heavy pause.

“they say she is in a coma.”

Izogie slowly retracted her hand and turned her body away. Amenza held onto her shoulder.

“i know it’s not what you want to hear but at least it’s not worse. we just have to wait and pray tha—.”

her sentence was cut short.

“Amenza,” Izogie said, voice low and filled with exhaustion. “please leave. i want to be by myself.”

this was a request that a huge part of Amenza wanted to deny. she knew Izogie. if left alone, her friend would think herself into a mental hole she could not come out of.

she’d seen it happen before.

but at the same time, the only thing she herself had to offer Izogie in this moment was space. so, Amenza forced herself to stand up.

“i’m always here for you,” she said. “we all are.”

she squeezed her shoulder and then headed out.

after that night, more than a week had gone by and you were still unconscious. as for Izogie, she had stopped speaking entirely. she only ate and bathed with the help of Nanisca, Amenza and some others, but she never left her quarters. not even to see you.

it was as though time came to a halt for her.

on the other hand, King Ghezo canceled festival day. he believed there was nothing to celebrate, seeing as such an incident took place just a couple feet away from the throne room.

instead, he was going to hold a council meeting to discuss what transpired. afterwards, the punishment for Nanare and the other girls would be announced.

Izogie was one of the people Ghezo wanted in attendance and Nanisca was sent to deliver the message in the evening.

upon entering, Nanisca saw her sitting in the same spot she’d always seen her sitting in, staring at the same wall she’d always seen her staring at.

Izogie made no movements as the miganon sat down next to her. they both looked across the room and soon, the elder spoke.

“there’s a meeting about the matter tomorrow. the King wants you there.”

Izogie said nothing, eyes still. Nanisca continued.

“i need to know that you’ll be there. you cannot continue on like this. it’s not good physically or mentally.”

they both sat in silence, the sounds of crickets and indistinct chatter from the outside filling the air.

then, for the first time in a while, she spoke.

“miganon, i was late again.”

Nanisca turned to her with a confused look.

“what do you mean?”

Izogie stared for a couple more seconds before reaching into her pocket. she pulled out the bracelet she had bought you at the marketplace and handed it over. Nanisca eyed the piece of jewelry as she waited for the younger to talk.

“that day, after we got meat for festival day, i went to buy her that. i was late because of it.”

a sigh left Nanisca’s lips.

“do you blame yourself? for not being back in time?”

“how can i not?” Izogie asked, voice low and raspy. “while i wasted time picking that out for her, she was over here getting—.”

the sentence couldn’t even roll off her tongue.

“Izogie,” Nanisca began. “it is not your fault. none of us could’ve known that something like this would happen.”

a grimace appeared on her face.

“something like this has already happened before. you and i both know how that story ended.”

she paused for a second before scoffing bitterly.

“the ancestors must be punishing me for not learning my lesson the first time.”

“and what lesson would that be?” Nanisca asked.

“love makes you weak,” Izogie said through gritted teeth. “if i had not been occupied with thoughts of making her happy, i would’ve never gone to the marketplace. i would’ve been here in time.”

“you’re a human being,” Nanisca said. “wanting to love and be loved does not make you weak.”

tears pooled around Izogie’s eyes.

“what has love itself ever brought me? nothing but pain and heartache.”

“is that why you have not gone to see her?”

she lowered her head, voice coming out strained.

“i cannot bring myself to go. it’ll hurt too much.”

Nanisca swung her hand over to hold her shoulders tightly.

“we’re the agojie,” she said. “we do not shy away from pain. instead, we have to learn and heal from it.”

“i’m tired of learning and healing.”

“then i’m afraid you cannot become the next miganon.”

Izogie looked up at her in shock.

“what?”

Nanisca began. “if you cannot learn and heal from your pain, especially ones that concern matters of the heart, you cannot lead the others.”

Izogie fell silent as she continued.

“every time we step onto the battlefield and we lose a warrior, it feels as though i have lost my own child. each time, the pain is more unbearable than the last. but i need to keep pushing. if i let it consume me, we will all fall apart.”

“how do you do it?” the younger asked.

“one foot in front of the other, one day at a time. our fallen would want me to carry their memories into battle. they would not want me to sit by, dwelling on their deaths. it is so hard on certain days but i keep going. for you all, and for them.”

Nanisca gently held Izogie’s face as she spoke.

“there is something you once said to my daughter and i would like to say it back to you. you are powerful. more than you even know. do not give your power away to pain and what if’s. go and see her. cry all night if you need to. then, come to council tomorrow and keep pushing. it’s what she would want."

she placed the bracelet back in her palm and pulled her in for a tight hug. they stayed that way a while.

as night fell, the miganon took her leave and Izogie went to the infirmary. the physician greeted her before proceeding to step out, giving the two of you space.

off to the side, you were laying still in a bed with your eyes closed. your chest rose and dropped softly as she approached. some of your wounds seemed to be healing already and overall, you looked peaceful.

Izogie sat at your side, gently taking one of your hands into hers. she then brought her lips to your knuckles, softly kissing them. her eyes watched you for a while before she pulled out the bracelet.

as she clasped it shut around you, she placed a tender kiss on your inner wrist. one that lingered for a moment. for the remainder of the night, Izogie slept at your side with her hand wrapped around yours.

the next day, the council meeting was held in the throne room. it was mid-afternoon and some were arriving from lunch while others came from their previous duties.

in attendance was King Ghezo, Queen Shante, Nanisca, Amenza, Izogie and the palace physician.

guards stood in far corners of the walls, surveying the space. everyone took their seats and when they all settled in, Ghezo spoke.

“you all know why we are gathered here today so let us not beat around the bush.”

he motioned over with his hand.

“bring them in.”

the large doors swung open and Nanare, along with the other two girls, walked in. their hands were tied in ropes and two other agojie soldiers followed behind them. when they reached the front, all three of them kneeled as the soldiers stood at their backs.

Izogie watched Nanare with a blank expression on her face, gaze unwavering.

“Nanare, Nanare, Nanare,” Ghezo began, a look of disdain on his face. “you were one of the trainees Nanisca told me to look forward to. what a shame.”

Nanare’s head hung low as she spoke.

“i’m sorry, my King.”

“i’m sorry, too,” he said. “i should’ve never allowed a person like you to enter the palace in the first place.”

he pointed his fingers at them as he continued.

“can you even explain to me why you, dumb and dumber, did what you did to that girl?”

silence filled the room.

none of the girls said anything and soon, Ghezo started clapping.

“so now none of you can talk? Shante told me she heard the rumors you three were spreading about her. your mouths were running like parrots before but now you can’t talk?”

Nanisca got up and stood in front of the three.

“the King has asked you a question. respond.”

again, silence.

Izogie’s jaw clenched as one of her legs started to bounce. Amenza quickly placed a hand on her knee to calm her down. Ghezo continued.

“since none of you want to speak, let us speed this up. you three will not waste my time today.”

he turned his head to the physician and asked.

“how long has the girl been unconscious for?”

the man spoke. “in three more days, it’ll be two weeks, my King.”

Ghezo nodded and addressed the room.

“then here’s how we will proceed. in three days time, if the girl these three put in a coma is not awake, they shall all be put to death.”

the eyes of the other two girls instantly widened as Nanare showed no reaction. Amenza shot up from her seat, utter disbelief on her face. Izogie’s features had a stone cold look to them and Nanisca turned to speak, concern in her tone.

“my King, we’re not here to kill our own.”

Ghezo scoffed.

“they stopped being ‘our own’ when they decided to beat their fellow comrade within an inch of her life.”

Amenza stepped forward, worry filling her voice.

“they are still Dahomey, no matter what they’ve done. i’m begging you to consider exiling them.”

the two girls who had begun crying furiously nodded their heads in agreement.

“please, just send us away.”

“we beg of you. don’t do this to us.”

“silence,” boomed Queen Shante’s voice. the girls quickly tucked in their quivering lips as she looked down on them. “how dare you speak when you were not spoken to?”

Shante turned her head to look at the others.

“i agree with my husband.”

Nanisca sighed.

“this is too harsh a sentence. i know we’re all frustrated but we cannot resort to this. i vote for exile.”

the Queen rolled her eyes.

“how do we look to the other tribes if we let those who caused harm to us, as well as broke our trust, walk free? they will think we’ve grown weak.”

she turned to the King.

“imagine them thinking of us as weak. we cannot have that.”

Amenza spoke, a confused look on her face.

“since when did we concern ourselves with the thoughts of others? exile is the best punishment to pass down. we can move on from it quickly and work on rebuilding our unity. we already see enough death as it is.”

the entire room waited for Ghezo to speak and in that moment, his eyes fell on Izogie.

she had not said a single word about the sentence and her searing gaze was still on Nanare.

“Izogie,” he called out. “what are your thoughts?”

“it does not matter what i think,” she said, still not looking at the King.

Ghezo sighed.

“i know this must be hard for you. Nanisca told me that you and the girl were very good friends.”

Izogie said nothing as he continued.

“the members of this council are on two different sides. since you will be miganon soon, i would like you to voice your opinion. whatever you choose will be the final decision.”

everyone fell silent.

they awaited Izogie’s next words.

tension hung heavy in the air.

one could’ve heard a pin drop.

then,

“i vote for their deaths.”

ear piercing screams rang out from the two girls as they began weeping loudly. Nanisca let out a deep exhale, a distressed look appearing on her face.

“Izogie,” Amenza exclaimed, pure shock on her face. “what do you think you’re doing?”

she quickly stood in front of the younger, speaking with urgency.

“take back what you just said. you cannot be in support of this. it is not who you are.”

Izogie got up to meet her at eye level, face stoic.

“Amenza,” she said, tone deadly serious. “if these three are exiled and she does not wake up, you know who i am. i will find every single one of them and handle it myself. exile was never an option.”

Amenza furrowed her eyebrows.

“are you that blinded by rage that you cannot reason? an eye for an eye makes nothing right.”

“i’m not trying to make anything right,” Izogie spat, voice rising. “if someone harmed any of the agojie, i would not allow that person to see the next light of day. do you want to know why? because you are all my family.”

she paused, pain engulfing her eyes as the next words came out strained.

“i’m in love with that woman. why would i not do for her what i would do for you? and even more?”

Amenza’s lips parted slightly, unable to form words.

for what seemed like an eternity, no one spoke.

then,

small laughter could be heard.

it came from Nanare.

all eyes instantly shifted to her.

she started off with a low chuckle but soon, the sound erupted from her chest, filling the room.

confusion fell upon the faces of all as this continued.

well, almost all.

before anyone could speak, Izogie was already walking towards Nanare. she clutched the collar of her shirt, yanking her up to her feet.

“laugh again,” Izogie said through gritted teeth. “i dare you.”

the two agojie soldiers from behind stepped forward to separate the two but Ghezo stopped them.

a smirk appeared on Nanare’s face.

“you’re already sentencing me to death,” she said. “the least you can do is let me laugh at this little show you’re putting on.”

Izogie threw her down to the ground hard.

Nanare’s body made a loud thud as she winced in pain, struggling to stand. Nanisca took a step forward but Ghezo also motioned for her to stop.

Izogie squatted down next to Nanare, sitting the girl upright. she then wrapped her hands tightly around the younger’s hair, tugging it harshly. they both locked eyes with each other.

“you don’t feel remorse for what you did, do you?”

the other shrugged, trying to keep her composure.

“your girlfriend was weak. i can’t feel sorry for those who can’t hold their own.”

Izogie punched her right in the face.

the force sent Nanare’s body colliding with the floor. her nose started bleeding heavily but Izogie could care less. she grabbed the younger and sat her up again.

Amenza quickly spoke.

“my King, this is going too far. allow us to stop it.”

Ghezo said nothing as he watched the scene unfold.

Nanare’s head was hanging low, blood dripping onto her uniform. Izogie lifted her chin up, digging her nails into the sides of her jaw. a small whimper escaped Nanare’s lips as Izogie looked down on her.

“it was the three of you against her but you say she couldn’t hold her own?”

Izogie delivered a hot slap to Nanare’s cheek.

“you call her weak?”

she slapped her again.

“in front of me?”

another slap.

tears fell from Nanare’s eyes as her cries were muffled. Izogie smirked, the whites of her teeth showing.

“would you like to fight me instead? here and now?”

Nanisca instantly stepped forward, separating them.

“Izogie, you’re not fighting this girl,” she said firmly.

Izogie stood up to face her, fire behind her eyes.

“miganon, allow me to do this. for her.”

Nanisca shook her head no.

“if you call for a challenge, it would be an unfair fight towards Nanare. i will not allow my successor to stoop to that level.”

Izogie’s tongue poked the inside of her cheek, just as Nanare was shuffling to her feet. when the younger eventually got up, she staggered towards Izogie. Nanisca held Izogie’s shoulder back as Nanare spoke, blood staining her teeth.

“you seem so intent on fighting for that girl. if only you had this much zeal to fight for my sister.”

the brows of both women furrowed as a puzzled look found its way onto the faces of those in the room.

“what?” Izogie asked, tone low.

Nanare spat blood onto the ground.

“you really don’t know who I am, do you?”

Izogie’s face displayed an even more perplexed look as Nanisca spoke, her own patience wearing thin.

“enough with this nonsense. if you claim to know Izogie, enlighten the room on how.”

she sniffled as she stepped forward to Izogie, mere inches separating their faces.

“I am Nanare, the younger sister of Nossa.”

Queen Shante’s eyes immediately widened as she covered her mouth in shock. Amenza’s mouth hung open, a stunned look on her face. Nanisca blinked rapidly, absolutely awestruck.

as for Izogie, her entire body had gone rigid. it was as though a cold chill had run down her spine, leaving her completely paralyzed.

Nossa.

a name she hadn’t heard out loud in so long.

“what is happening?” Ghezo asked. he seemed quite surprised and confused by the reactions.

“who is Nossa?”

upon hearing her name again, Izogie felt like all the wind inside her had been knocked out. she fell to her knees, a dazed look on her face.

Nanare looked down at her kneeling figure, tears falling from her own eyes.

“now you remember,” she said. “when my sister needed you, you were not there. you told her you loved her but you were not there.”

Izogie inhaled shakily as her lips trembled.

why?

why was she being reminded of that memory again?

had she not suffered enough?

Nanare swallowed hard, spitting her next words out with spite and conviction.

“do your best not to forget that Nossa died because of you.”

utter anguish spread throughout Izogie’s face as teardrops fell from her eyes.

before anyone could speak, the doors to the throne room swung wide open.

standing in front was a boy. he was the helper of the palace physician. beads of sweat trickled down his forehead as he spoke rapidly, not even trying to catch his breath.

“my King, i’m sorry for entering like this but i need the doctor.”

the palace physician spoke.

“what is it, my child?”

“the girl who is in a coma,” he said. “she’s having a seizure as we speak.”

immediately, the physician, Nanisca and Amenza ran out with the boy. Ghezo ordered for the soldiers to take Nanare and the other girls back to their holding cells as he left with Queen Shante.

in the middle of the throne room, Izogie knelt with a tear stricken face, unable to move.

at the infirmary, the wooden doors burst open and Nanisca saw you convulsing in bed. she quickly rushed to hold you down in place as the others ran in. the physician noticed what she was doing and ordered her to stop.

“no, no, no. you must not do that,” he said, tone frantic. “we need to lay her down on the floor.”

he quickly cleared the ground of chairs and small objects. Amenza held your feet tightly while Nanisca gripped underneath your armpits. you were still writhing as they set you down.

the physician turned to the boy.

“grab the covers and roll them up. place them under her head for protection.”

he quickly did as he was told.

“is there not some medicine we can give her?” Amenza asked, visibly scared.

the physician knelt beside you.

“a person suffering a seizure must not have anything put in their mouth.”

“so what are you saying?” Nanisca questioned. “are we just supposed to sit here and watch this happen?”

a solemn look appeared on the man’s face.

“i’m afraid so. if the seizure is not severe, it should stop soon. all we can do it wait.”

instantly, Amenza began praying over your body. after a couple minutes passed by, you stopped shaking. the physician tilted your head back gently and checked your airways.

“she is breathing. we thank our ancestors.”

Nanisca and the boy let out a sigh of relief as Amenza held your hand. for the remainder of the night, they all worked on taking care of you. each of them even took turns watching you as you slept.

the next day, your condition was stable enough.

but there was another issue.

no one had seen Izogie since yesterday afternoon. she was nowhere to be found in the palace or around the village.

Amenza had suggested forming a search party to look for her but Nanisca decided against it.

“Izogie needs time alone,” she said. “it’s been a while since we’ve talked about Nossa. seeing her sister must’ve come as a huge shock.”

due to yesterday’s events, training was suspended for today. Amenza decided to use the opportunity to pay Nanare a visit. as she arrived at the holding cell, the guards opened the door and she stepped inside.

the space was relatively dark, the only light sources coming from small holes atop the walls. the floor was bare and sitting on the ground was Nanare.

when she noticed Amenza, she stood up and bowed her head slightly. her nose was wrapped in a white bandage and the side of her face was swollen.

“please, sit,” Amenza said.

they both took a seat and looked up at the holes, watching dust particles dance in the air. for a while, neither spoke.

then, Nanare turned to her and asked.

“is she alive?”

Amenza shook her head yes.

Nanare nodded as well and went back to looking up. they sat in silence again for a couple of seconds.

“why did you do it?”

“do what?”

“the beating.”

the younger sighed, a somber look on her face.

“what ended up happening that day. it was never my intention.”

Amenza gave her a confused look.

“if you didn’t mean for it to happen, why were you so angry at her in the first place?”

Nanare fiddled with her fingers as she took in a deep breath, exhaling shakily.

“ever since I came here,” she began. “every time I saw y/n and Izogie, I would think to myself, it’s going to happen again.”

“what’s going to happen again?”

“what happened to Nossa.”

Amenza looked taken aback by her words.

“is that why you spread rumors about y/n?”

Nanare nodded.

“I saw how close her and Izogie were getting and I wanted to do anything that could separate them. Izogie isn’t a good person. I didn’t want what happened to my sister to happen to y/n.”

Amenza paused, a sigh leaving her lips.

“why do you blame Izogie?”

Nanare swallowed hard, finding it difficult to speak.

“take your time.”

the younger nodded and soon, she began the tale.

“you know how Nossa was studying to become a seamstress in our village, right?”

Amenza gave her a warm smile.

“I remember. every time the agojie passed through, we always noticed her beautiful clothing. sometimes, we even caught her sneaking a peek at us.”

Nanare smiled softly.

“it was always Nossa’s dream to design and make clothes for the agojie. she admired you all, even though she was the weakest in our family.”

she paused before continuing.

“around that time was when she first laid eyes on Izogie. I believe it was the first time my sister ever fell in love.”

“you know,” Amenza said. “Nossa was Izogie’s first love too.”

Nanare scoffed playfully.

“I figured. there was always a youthfulness to them. they constantly snuck around to meet each other and some days, Nossa would come home with gifts that were only made in the palace.”

“did you ever have any issue with their relationship?” Amenza asked.

“no,” the younger said. “I was the only person in our family who knew. I was just happy that my older sister was happy. then, that day came.”

Amenza held one of Nanare’s hands and squeezed it as she continued.

“Nossa told me that she would be meeting Izogie somewhere and I begged her to let me go with her. I was quite young at the time and I wanted to see an agojie soldier up close. she was a bit hesitant at first but she finally gave in. when we got there, we waited for a while but Izogie never showed up.”

tears started welling in her eyes.

“as we kept waiting, we heard the sound of warning drums in the distance. apparently, an enemy tribe was attacking our village. Nossa quickly took my hand and we ran deep into the forest; but one of the attackers had spotted us.”

a teardrop fell from Nanare’s cheeks as Amenza swung her hand over to hold her shoulders.

“by the time we realized we were being pursued, Nossa only had time to hide me in some dense bushes. then—.”

Nanare stopped talking as her head hung low, tears falling in her lap. Amenza held her tightly as she spoke between sobs.

“the man kept asking Nossa where I was but she wouldn’t say anything.”

at this point, her body was shaking.

“in that moment, I remembered shutting my eyes and praying so desperately for Izogie to show up. when I eventually opened them, my sister was laying in a pool of her own blood. the man long gone.”

Nanare’s cries filled the space.

“I wished Nossa was strong enough to defend herself without needing someone. did you know that Izogie didn’t even come to see Nossa’s body until a week later? I wish my sister never met her. maybe, she would still be here.”

a look of realization appeared on Amenza’s face.

“so that’s why you were angry at y/n for being weak. she reminds you of Nossa, doesn’t she?”

Nanare shook her head slowly as she sniffled.

“y/n is a good person with a kind heart. I acknowledge that. I’m just worried that one day, on the battlefield, she’ll be in need of help and not I or Izogie can do anything for her. I don’t want to relive that again.”

Amenza held Nanare’s head gently and placed it on her shoulder. she wrapped her arms around her body and they both sat in silence for a while.

soon, she spoke.

“would you like me to tell you why Izogie couldn’t be there that day?”

Nanare quickly looked up at her.

“it all started with a gift.”

“a gift?”

Amenza nodded.

“that day Izogie was supposed to meet your sister, she told me she was going to give her something special. the plan was that when evening came, Izogie would pick up the gift from Queen Shante and then head out.”

the younger’s eyes immediately widened.

“Queen Shante? she knew they were together?”

Amenza smiled.

“Queen Shante visited your family’s shop frequently because she loved Nossa’s clothing. she wanted your sister to be her personal seamstress one day. on one of her usual visits, she happened to stumble upon the two. she wasn’t upset though. Izogie said she even swore on the spot to keep them a secret.”

“so what was the gift then?” Nanare asked.

“well, the Queen knew how much Izogie wanted to impress Nossa. so, she had one of our traders go to Ouidah to buy mulberry silk. it is the most expensive silk fabric on the market but Queen Shante didn’t care. she really adored the two.”

“then what happened?”

“everything went wrong.”

Nanare listened intently.

“Queen Shante was in a council meeting that ran late so Izogie had to wait a little longer. when they finally wrapped up, they headed to the Queen’s quarters to get the silk. as they reached the entrance, they both heard the warning drums. the village was under attack and some of the enemies were already in the palace grounds.”

Amenza sighed as she continued.

��in that moment, the only person on Izogie’s mind was your sister. so, she locked the Queen inside her cupboard as a way to protect her and ran out. as she was figuring out which route would be the fastest to Nossa, she ran into Nanisca.”

a slight chuckle bubbled from Amenza.

“Izogie was so adamant about leaving and that was how the miganon found out. Nanisca was angry that Izogie hid something like that from her but she understood nonetheless. as she was telling Izogie of a secret route, Ghezo appeared in front of them. there was nothing they could do. as part of the agojie, one of our duties is to protect the royal family. so, they stayed and fought.”

Nanare looked at Amenza, utter shock on her face. because she was always so angry at Izogie, her mind never once considered the possibility that maybe, just maybe, Izogie really did try her best to reach Nossa.

the younger’s jaw quickly clenched in anger.

“if that was the case, why did Izogie not come to see my sister after the fighting stopped? why did she wait a whole week to come see the woman she said she loved?”

a sorrowful look formed on Amenza’s face.

“Nanare,” she said. “think back to the times you’ve seen Izogie. have you ever noticed a long, jagged scar on the right side of her neck?”

Nanare thought about it for a bit before nodding.

“yes, i have seen it. all the trainees always wondered how someone ever got close enough to cut the Izogie that deeply.”

Amenza gave her a sad smile.

“that scar was why she came a week later.”

“what?”

Amenza began, a look of pain forming on her face.

“while the fighting was still happening, I remembered looking across the palace and seeing how Izogie fought. it was as though her body was there but her mind was not. I do not say this as an insult but it was the worst she had ever been in battle. and then, it happened.”

Amenza casted her eyes down as she spoke.

“because Izogie was not focused, one of the enemies managed to slice her neck with a dagger.”

she exhaled shakily.

“I saw my friend fall to the ground, her own blood staining her fingers as she clutched her wound. I couldn’t help her in that moment and it pained me. if it wasn’t for Esi who managed to kill the man and drag Izogie to safety, she would’ve died there.”

Nanare’s eyes went wide, guilt engulfing her heart.

“Izogie came a week later because that day was the first day she could move since her injury. even in all of her pain, the first person she looked for was Nossa.”

tears pooled in the younger’s eyes as Amenza swallowed hard.

“the Izogie I know would’ve died for your sister a thousand times over if she could. please, do not blame my friend for the death of her first love.”

Nanare’s lips trembled as she bursted out crying. Amenza held her tightly, allowing her own tears to flow freely.

“i’m sorry, Nanare,” she said. “i’m sorry that in that moment, you had no one to help your sister. no matter what ends up becoming of you, i pray that the ancestors know you did the best you could.”

Nanare cried even harder, her throat trying to grasp air. Amenza gently rocked the both of them, encouraging her to let it all out. they both stayed in that position for the rest of the night, hearts heavy.

the next day, Amenza spoke to the King about letting Nanare visit her sister’s grave for what could possibly be the last time.

the likelihood of you waking up by tomorrow night looked quite slim so now was the best time.

Ghezo had been hesitant at first, not being too fond of granting prisoners any wishes. Amenza quickly assured him that she would escort Nanare to and from the burial ground safely. after much debate, he agreed.

late in the afternoon, the pair set out.

Nossa was buried atop a hill and when they arrived at the foot of it, Amenza held Nanare’s hands softly.

“i’ll wait down here while you’re up there,” she said. “do not feel rushed. spend as much time as you need.”

Nanare thanked her as she walked up the pathway. when she arrived at the top, she took in the view.

birds flew freely in the sky as luscious green grass swayed in the wind. over the horizon, mountains stood tall, clouds nestled on their tops. the air was cool and crisp, giving the space a sense of peace.

as she looked around, she noticed someone was already there. next to her sister’s grave, Izogie sat, watching the landscape.

Nanare froze for a couple of seconds, unsure of what to do. she had figured the next time they would meet again would be at her execution. now that Izogie was here in the flesh, she was at a loss.

what was she even supposed to say to her?

the younger wanted to spend time with her sister but she couldn’t just ignore the other woman. not after learning the truth.

as Nanare pondered what to do, a gentle breeze blew at her back, almost as if urging her to walk forward.

before she knew it, she was putting one foot in front of the other, walking.

within a couple steps, her feet arrived at Nossa’s grave. she knelt down and said a prayer, paying her respects. as she did this, Izogie did not move an inch.

when Nanare was done, she stood up and walked in her direction. she sat down next to her, the both of them gazing at the scenery.

in that moment, so much could’ve been said, explained, unpacked, divulged and even more.

instead, Izogie spoke, words sincere.

“I’m sorry.”

Nanare took in a deep breath, her tone earnest.

“I’m sorry, too.”

for the remainder of the afternoon, they both sat there without exchanging any words. each of them now had an understanding of why the other did the things they did and said the things they said. the innermost parts of their souls had been revealed and atop that hill, they could just be.

as the sun set, the pair walked back down the path and spotted Amenza. she had been waiting for hours and her face looked tired. nevertheless, she greeted them with a warm smile as they headed back to the palace.

along the way, the trio was silent. not in an awkward way though. more so calm. they watched villagers pass by and small children chase chickens, their laughter filling the air.

as they continued on, an agojie soldier saw them from afar. she began running towards the three at full speed. upon taking a closer look, they saw it was Esi.

a collective feeling of fear ran through the women.

when she finally arrived in front of them, she spoke rapidly, a hint of annoyance in her voice.

“exactly where have you all been? i’ve been looking for the hill Ghezo said you were at for almost half an hour. you know i’m bad with directions.”

Amenza looked at the others and dared to ask the question that was on their minds.

“has something happened?”

Esi gave them the biggest smile in the world.

“she’s awake,” she said. “y/n is awake.”

upon hearing those words, Izogie’s eyes widened as her heartbeat quickened. it felt as though new life had been breathed into her lungs.

Amenza loudly uttered a praise to the ancestors as she squeezed Nanare tightly, the younger smiling from ear to ear.

now, the only thing on Izogie’s mind was you. she needed to see your eyes on hers. she needed to hear your voice. she needed to hold you. she needed to breath the same air as you.

she needed you.

before Izogie could do anything though, she turned her gaze to Nanare. the younger was already looking at her with a smile.

“go,” she said. “it’s what Nossa would want for you.”

Izogie thanked her with her eyes and immediately took off. as she ran, her feet felt light as the wind whooshed past her ears. her heartbeat thumped with anticipation as she neared her destination.

a second chance, Izogie thought.

that was what she was getting with love. this time, she would not close herself off to it.

at the infirmary, you laid in bed, eyes still adjusting to your surroundings. you had woken up an hour ago but so many things were still a blur.

the last thing you remembered was speaking to Nanare in the courtyard. nothing else.

as you tried to sit up, your mind quickly reminded you of your injuries. everywhere ached and you winced painfully as the physician helped you lay back down. your could feel that your muscles had grown weak as a result of not moving for so long.

“some of the wounds are not fully healed yet,” he said. “try not to push yourself too much.”

he gave you some medicine to help with the pain. afterwards, you stared up at the ceiling, trying to organize your thoughts. soon, Nanisca entered.

“miganon,” you said.

she greeted you with a smile and sat by your side. the physician went to another corner of the room, working on his herbal remedies.

Nanisca held your hand gently and it took you by surprise. ever since you joined the king’s guard, you’d never had a conversation with her. it didn’t bother you though. she was a busy woman after all.

“how are you feeling?” the elder asked.

a crestfallen look found its way onto your features.

“i’m not really sure,” you said. “it just feels like i’m behind on everything.”

Nanisca nodded thoughtfully as you sighed.

this was truly how you felt. ever since you woke up, all you could do was wonder about all sorts of things.

what happened between you and Nanare?

how many trainings did you miss?

would you be healed in time to take the final test?

where was Izo—.

you were snapped back to reality as she squeezed your hand firmly.

“do not feel pressured to learn everything today. allow yourself to be in the present. when you are back of your feet, we will all be here to guide you.”

warmth spread through your body as you listened to her words. you never wanted to do any of this alone.

“thank you,” you replied, tone sincere.

Nanisca laughed. “no, I should be thanking you.”

you gave her a confused look.

“why?”

“well firstly, you woke up. secondly, it was just in time. you have made four people very happy.”

before you could ask her what she meant by that, the wooden doors swung open.

standing in front was Izogie.

her face, shoulders and biceps were covered in sweat. her lips were slightly parted, displaying some of her white teeth. through her uniform, her chest heaved up and down and her eyes frantically searched the room.

when her gaze landed on yours, butterflies erupted in your stomach as your heart raced.

then, you remembered.

on that hot afternoon day, as you were being beaten into the ground, Izogie was the last person your subconscious thought about before you blacked out.

you thought you would never see her again.

you quickly tried to sit up, eager to greet her. instantly, a hot sharp pain ran down your spine. your entire body trembled as a whimper escaped your lips. Nanisca gently laid you back down, tears forming around your eyes. Izogie looked at you, anguish engulfing her face.

“take it easy,” Nanisca said. “you are all right. you just have some bruising around your back. you should feel better in a couple of weeks.”

as the miganon stood up to leave, you tried to keep your composure. Nanisca squeezed Izogie’s shoulders as she motioned the physician over. they both headed out, leaving the two of you alone.

in that moment, you felt so angry with yourself. your own body was betraying you and there was nothing you could do about it. you quickly turned your head in the opposite direction.

why must i always look weak in front of her? you thought to yourself as footsteps approached you.

teardrops cascaded down the side of your face and before you could wipe it, Izogie’s palm gently cupped your cheek, slowly tilting your head back towards her.

you refused to make eye contact as you swallowed hard. then, for the first time in a long time, you heard her voice again.

“do you really not miss me that much?”

your eyes quickly shot up to meet her gaze. your lips parted slightly as you noticed how much she towered over you. her broad shoulders and defined muscles always had an effect on your entire body.

she had a small smirk on her face but it wasn’t boastful like her typical ones. there was a hint of something else underneath. you had other things to worry about though. you softly pushed her hand.

“i’m not in the mood,” you said, voice cracking.

Izogie watched as you wiped your tears angrily.

“would you like for me to leave?” she asked.

instantly, you were at an internal crossroad. a part of you just wanted to be left alone with your thoughts. you already hated how vulnerable you looked. her being here would only add to your anxiety.

but at the same time, your eyes never wanted to lose sight of Izogie ever again. even in this moment, your body yearned for her touch. you missed her antics, her scolding, her confidence, everything.

you winced as you felt a dull ache in your head. all this thinking was doing you no good. you knew so much about what you wanted and yet, you knew so little.

“do whatever you want, Izogie.” you said weakly, voice filled with pain. “i just woke up from a coma, my body is not functioning and i feel the weakest i have ever felt. i fear that at this rate, i may never become a part of the agojie.”

your throat tightened as tears fell from your eyes.

“it’s so overwhelming to wake up to all these thoughts. i know that i have you all to help me but i’m still so scared.”

Izogie’s jaw clenched as she quickly averted her gaze. she hated seeing you cry. not because crying was a bad thing, but because she never knew how to comfort you.

for a while, she listened as your sobs filled the room. then, she spoke.

“would you really like me to do whatever I want?”

you sniffled as you looked up at her, taken aback by the question.

“what?”

she looked down on you.

“i don’t want you to cry anymore so there’s something I want to do.”

now, you were even more confused. why was she saying something like that to you? your palms suddenly felt sweaty as your heartbeat picked up. with all the strength you could muster, you asked.

“what do you want to do?”

“i want to kiss you.”

your thoughts came to a crashing halt. your eyes widened as you stared at her, a dumbfounded look on your face. you blinked rapidly, unsure of what you just heard.

“what?”

Izogie kissed her teeth slightly. she lowered her muscular frame down to yours, a silver glint residing behind her eyes. your breath hitched in your throat as her face was mere inches away from yours.

“i want to kiss you,” she said again.

“is this supposed to be some sort of a joke?” you asked, voice coming out more shaky that you intended.

Izogie’s eyes flickered down to your lips.

“i don’t make jokes like this.”

she looked back up at you, sincerity swirling in her brown eyes.

“i will only do it if you want me to.”

you lips parted slightly. Izogie always seemed so far away from you. so unattainable. never in your wildest dreams did you imagine her saying these words.

“why?” you asked, trying to shrink into the bed as heat spread through you. “do you like me or something?”

a small smile formed on her lips.

“congratulations. you’re officially slower than Nawi.”

instinctively, you slapped her shoulder. Izogie quickly took hold of your hand and held it gently. she stared at the bracelet, a somber look appearing on her face.

“i can’t bear the thought of losing you.”

your eyes widened.

she lowered her lips down to your inner wrist, pressing a tender kiss to it.

your mouth hung open in disbelief as your heart pounded in your chest.

after setting your hand down, her eyes met yours.

“i need you by my side,” she said softly. “if i lose you, i lose myself.”

“Izogie,” you muttered softly.

her hand came up to the side of your face, gently caressing your cheek. she rested her forehead on top of your own, her eyes closed.

you didn’t move as you felt her breath on your lips.

“i thought you said love makes you weak.”

“you do make me weak,” she whispered. “but i will not give my power away to fear. i want to train with you, eat with you, fight with you, laugh with you—.”

she took a pause, lifting her head slightly to look at you fondly.

“i want to love you.”

you instantly leaned forward, placing a quick kiss on her lips.

for a split second, she looked taken by surprise.

“me too,” you said, eyes eager and twinkling with joy. “i want to love you too.”

as you said those words, Izogie dipped her head low, capturing your lips in hers. she kissed you softly, her hands cradling your face gently. her lips were warm, sending shivers throughout your body. you let out a small gasp as your hands clutched the collar of her uniform. her tongue slipped inside your mouth, sucking on your tongue languidly. you moaned softly, quickly pulling away when you realized.

Izogie’s lips chased yours, love and lust heavy in her eyes. in that moment, your entire existence felt as light as air. you pinched her nose softly, giving her a small smile.

“close your mouth,” you said, voice below a whisper. “you look like a fish.”

Izogie scoffed, her infamous smirk appearing on her face. before you knew what has happening, she gave you a quick peck on the lips.

the thumping of your heart filled your ears as she looked at you in pure adoration.

“you have nothing to be afraid of,” she said. “i will always be here with you. in our line of work, i cannot guarantee you safety but i can promise you this. i will always do everything in my power to protect you.”

you quickly wrapped your arms around Izogie, hugging her tightly. she buried her face in your neck, chuckling deeply as she placed kisses on you.

tears welled in your eyes because for the first time in a long time, you felt like you could finally breathe. the romantic feelings were mutual and you now had a companion who would really help you every step of the way. it was as if a huge weight had been lifted from your shoulders.

as night fell, you both sat there, simply taking in each other. going forward, you knew that you had much to catch up on. there was still conversations that needed to be had and lessons that needed to be learned.

but for tonight, you thanked the ancestors for bringing you and Izogie together.

🫀, the end.

[🫀] / heart to heart — extended scene.

today was the anniversary of Nossa’s death.

six months had passed since everything happened and you’d gained a newfound understanding on love, life, pain and family.

after hearing the entire story, King Ghezo and Queen Shante decided to pardon Nanare and her friends. they even allowed them to stay as part of the agojie.

at dawn, you woke up and headed to the palace garden. Izogie, you and Nanare were going to Nossa’s burial site to watch the sunrise. you wanted to bring some flowers.

as the three of you walked up the hill, there was a comfortable silence. at the top, the sky was a golden shade of orange and the birds chirped excitedly. a light breeze blew around you and your feet relished in the softness of the grass.

each of you took turns praying and paying your respects. after setting the flowers down, you stood up and took Nanare’s hands in yours. you gave her a soft smile as you squeezed her hands. the younger smiled warmly back at you.

soon, the three of you turned your attention to the rising sun and basked in its beauty. Izogie rested her arms around you and Nanare’s shoulders, a peaceful expression on her face.

in that moment, you felt that Nossa’s spirit was with you all. you never knew her personally but her presence was always there. in the wind, in the trees, and in the hearts of her sister and your lover.

as a gentle wind passed by, you could say with certainty that Nossa was looking down on the three of you, her face beaming with pride.

🫀, the end.

#izogie #izogie x reader #izogie x black!reader #lashana lynch #the woman king #gonesgone #Spotify

[polyamzeal]

got any polyam book recs

How many time do I need to reccomend the Smart Girl's Guide To Polyamory by Dedecker Winston! I feel like I never shut up about it and still people have never heard of it! I am just going to create a quick list of all the polyam books I have read. Because when I was first learning about polyamory it felt like you were required to read certain books before you could get your polyamory license yet so many other people haven't read any books! One day I might write out longer reviews for these.

The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy- This is one of the first ever books focused on polyamory. As such it is a bit dated. Despite that I think it is still a good book that people can get a lot out of. Just keep its age in mind.

More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert - When I started learning about polyamory this was the holy bible of polyamory that everyone insisted that everybody must read. I honestly liked The Ethical Slut better though. Since then though the book has been utterly condemned by the community and people are now very quick to scream how nobody should read this book because Franklin Veaux was revealed to be abusive in his relationships so now suddenly the book is a guide to teach people how to be abusive in relationships. I guess??? Eve Ricket has put out multiple statements about the book about if people should still read it or not but I am sure I will miss something if I dive into that. Like more The Ethical Slut, just keep in mind it might have some problematic aspects. But I personally think there is still some good stuff in it that people might find value in. It has been a while since I read it but I don't remember it being problematic, just a bit dry and boring.

The Smart Girl's Guide To Polyamory by Dedecker Winston - I'm skipping right to this to say this is my favorite polyamory book! It is very unfortunate that that the title isn't great. And indeed it is written to be aimed at women but honestly I found very very little in the book to feel exclusive to women and not apply to me (a cis-male) just as much. I love this book so much that I re-typed up a passage from it, had it printed on a large poster, and framed.

Sex At Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha - This is another book that used to be worshipped in polyamory circles and wholehearted reccomended. I am so glad that it is now mostly forgotten. Why? BECAUSE THIS IS NOT A POLYAMORY BOOK! This is a very scientific anti-monogamy book. So I was waiting for all this set-up to talk about why polyamory fixes all these problems of monogamy it has taken so long to explain. Spoilers! Polyamory is only briefly mentioned in the epilogue of the book in a half-hearted, "Maybe this solution works for some people". Let's be clear, this is not a bad book. It is a very good book at using scientific evidence to point out flaws with monogamy and can lead to interesting discussion. But it is not a polyamroy book and shouldn't be recommended as such.

Love's Not Color Blind: Race and Representation in Polyamorous and Other Alternative Communities by Kevin Patterson - Another great book that is highly underrated. But note this is not a Polyamory 101 book. I consider this a "next-level" polyamory book. And to be clear I am white/Caucasian and I learned so much from this book and really love it! It opened my eyes in so many ways.

The Polyamorists Next Door: Inside Multiple-Partner Relationships and Families by Elisabeth Sheff - This isn't a bad book but I also didn't really find it to be a good book either. It feels neither pro-polyamory or anti-polyamory. Just a whole lot of stories and facts. I think it might be most interesting for a monogamous person to read.

Polyamory by Marissa Blake - Worst book I have ever listened to and I am pretty sure it is plagiarized. Been meaning to do a project where I research that claim but just haven't been interested in doing so. it is utter garbage.

The Polyamory Breakup Book: Causes, Prevention, and Survival by Kathy Labriola - Another advanced level polyamory book. But I think an especially important one for everyone to read. When you date more people you have more breakups. And when "cheating" is far less of an issue it is becomes hard to understand when you should breakup.

Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy by Jessica Fern - The new holy bible of polyamory that everybody in every polyamory group will recommend immediately. It is a good book but honestly I think it is overrated. I think it is aimed at a very certain kind of person struggling with polyamory but it didn't resonate a whole lot with me on a polyamory level. I thought Secure Attachment was very interesting but I felt the actual polyamory aspects of the book were a little lacking to me. I do recommend the book but maybe not as someone's first polyamroy book. I think there are better polyamory 101 books. To note I have not read Polywise yet, the authors sequel book that just came out. I think I have higher hopes for that one though.

Ready For Polyamory by Laura Boyle - Most recent book I read and I had wanted to write a full review but I forgot. This is a fairly good book. I feel like it doesn't stand out much from the other Polyamory 101 books but overall solid. The one place where I give it the most praise is it has the most up-to-date definitions of terms which over the years have evolved and changed over time. The spectrum of polyamory styles I think is especially important for people to read. Older books didn't mention this at all or it was only Parelle VS Kitchen Table. Now we have a much wider spectrum and I often see a common mistake for newbies is for 2 partners to be at different point of the spectrum and never acknowledging it.

Do you know of any polyamory books I missed that I should read? Please let me know!

#polyamory #polyam #nonmonogamy #Books #Reccomendations #Book Reviews #Book

[bucky-barnes-diaries]

All Things Lovely

Pairing || TFATWS!Bucky x Female!Reader

Summary || Bucky takes you on a cute date for your birthday and treats you like a princess for the day.

Word Count || 1676

Contents & Warnings || Fluff — no warnings other than some tooth-rotting and disgusting fluff <3

Authors Note || This is for @the-slumberparty Blast From The Past Challenge. This fic is a direct continuation of my All Things Pink fic. For more context, I highly recommend you go and read that one, but this continuation can be read as a stand-alone as well.

Disclaimer || English is not my first language so I apologise for any mistakes or misunderstandings!

TFATWS!Bucky Masterlist

You still had no idea where Bucky was taking you for the birthday date as he and you walked through your busy neighbourhood. You only knew that the whole day would be his treat and that he would take you to multiple places.

The first destination wasn’t that far; he said—only about fifteen minutes from your apartment complex.

As you walked, talked, laughed, and held hands, you found it so much easier not to be such a flustering and shy mess around him as you’d been in your apartment just a few minutes ago.

Your senses had gotten accustomed to all of him, but you still felt that incredible pleasant tingling sensation across your skin and butterflies in your stomach at being with him—floating on a fluffy cloud when you were in his presence.

After a few more minutes of walking, you arrived at a park. The pleasant day out made the lush and bright shrubbery shine in the sun and cascade an aura of peace and warmth. The abundant colourful flora throughout made the scenery that much prettier.

He walked you a little deeper into the greenery of trees and bushes, and there, nestled almost in secrecy, was a cute little pop-up cafe.

“Oh, Bucky. This is so lovely,” you sigh fondly as you clutched his hand in an affectionate grip.

He hummed as he kissed your head. “I knew you would like it, gorgeous.”

There were lots of drinks and delicious desserts to choose from at the little coffee truck. And you decided on a cappuccino and a cupcake with soft pink frosting on top. Bucky ordered the same and paid for it like the gentleman he was.

You found your seats on the few tables in front of the truck—enjoying the scenery, the drinks, and each other.

The conversation flowed so easily with Bucky. You always had loads to talk and laugh about—getting lost in one another like it was only you and him in the world. During the few silent moments, there was no awkwardness in the slightest, and all you did was bask in each other’s presence.

A stripe of sunlight beamed down upon you—warming your skin. You reached up, closing your eyes and enjoying the sun on your face, making you hum in approval.

Bucky couldn’t believe how radiant you looked in the sunshine. Your skin glowed like never before, making you look like ethereal beauty. It made you even more breathtakingly beautiful, if that was even possible.

He placed his hand on yours that rested on the table and squeezed it before caressing the skin with his thumb, making you focus your attention on him.

He held the same gaze as he had in your apartment—an expression of utter adoration at the perfection in front of him.

“What is it, Bucky?” You asked shyly—becoming flustered due to his intense aura of love and appreciation.

He suppressed a loving chuckle and shook his head. “I just can’t get over your beauty, doll. You’re perfect.” His smile was the most genuine ever.

Just as in your apartment, you felt a rush of heat flush your face, and your ears became extremely hot at his compliment.

“Thank you, Bucky,” you mumbled timidly as you looked down at your now interlocked hands. Your intertwined fingers fit perfectly together, and you never wanted to let go.

Bucky lovingly chuckled again at your adorableness before striking up yet another topic to discuss as you continued to enjoy the rest of your coffee and cupcake…

It hadn’t even felt like an hour and a half once you were done at the coffee truck. Being in such wonderful company made the time fly by. But Bucky was now keen on taking you to the next destination for your birthday date.

Again, hand in hand, you walked while in your own world of striking conversation and loving laughter. And before you knew it, Bucky stopped you in front of a bookstore—a cozy little place.

Your eyes beamed bright, and a smile displayed across your face.

There was no greater happiness than browsing a bookstore for hours on end—surrounded by tales of love, mystery, horror, and fantasy. So many stories to get lost in. And it was exhilarating that you would have Bucky beside you now—a huge book nerd as well.

“Come on, gorgeous.” He pulled you inside enthusiastically. Just as excited as you were. “You can choose whichever books you want. It’s all on me.”

You and he browsed aisle after aisle of books. Both of you getting lost in the striking bindings and the captivating descriptions of the books—trying to find the few that stood out the most and suited best for your personal taste.

You discussed your favourite authors and debated theories about books and their truest meanings.

Time seemed to be an irrelevant factor when it came to books, and you’d completely lost track of it until the store clerk kindly let you know they would be closing up soon.

You and Bucky met up front to go over the books you’d picked out.

There were, with no exaggeration, hundreds of books that you wanted. But you could never take advantage of Bucky’s kind nature like that, so you picked out two that were on the top of your reading list.

Bucky had chosen two for himself, as well as a third one that he held out to you.

“I don’t know if you’ve read it, but it’s my absolute favourite,” he beamed.

The Hobbit. Such a popular book, and, for some reason, you’d never read it. But hearing that it was Bucky’s all-time favourite, you would start on it first thing tonight.

“I haven’t read it, but it’s always been on my list,” you admitted in embarrassment.

“Great! I’m buying it for you then.”

You handed him the rest of your books for him to pay. He examined one of them in particular with a smirk on his face, turning it over in his hand. The binding and cover was bright pink, with a beautiful artwork on the front and white text.

“Can’t tell you I’m not surprised,” he teased—his chuckle of the loving kind.

“Hey! I’m really interested in it. And not only because it’s pink,” you teased back as you pushed his shoulder playfully.

He kissed your temple and interlocked your fingers. “Of course, doll.”

As you walked out of the bookstore, you couldn’t help but feel a warm and content feeling in your chest. The experience of browsing books with someone who shared the same passion for reading as you did was just perfect. You and Bucky continued to talk about the books you had picked out and your excitement to start reading them while you walked back to your apartment.

“Thank you so much, Bucky, for everything today. The coffee, the books, just everything. I couldn’t have asked for a better birthday,” you mumbled as you stood outside your front door, looking down at your interlocked hands. You were shy now as the impending goodbye approached.

Bucky pinched your chin and lifted your face so you could hold his gaze. “Anything for you, doll. I’m glad you had a great time,” he replied with a smile.

He was so close now, making you gasp. Your lips brushed together, causing your head to whirl due to his sweet aroma. His eyes glimmered intensely—the most perfect blues you could drown in. You had trouble breathing due to his extreme proximity.

He cupped your face, making your knees tremble. His thumb caressed your soft skin, appreciating the texture before he slowly closed the distance and placed the sweetest of kisses on your lips—laced with passion and love. Your mind exploded. Your skin tingled, and your nerves were electrified. There was no greater pleasure than kissing Bucky.

The kiss developed into one of yearning and need. Both of you wanted it to progress and for it to never end.

You snaked your fingers in the hairs at his nape and pressed your lips harder to his. Bucky’s other hand was placed at the small of your back, pulling you flush into his chest.

Bucky swiped his tongue to your lower lip, and you parted your mouth in a moan to welcome him. His tongue softly caressed yours. It was hot and steamy, and a new wave of pleasurable sensation hit you hard, almost knocking you to the ground.

Although you wanted nothing more than kiss him till the end of time, you had to pull away for a breath and calm your beating heart before it leaped out of your chest and before you turned to putty in his grasp.

You softly cursed under your uneven breath as you hid in his chest, making Bucky chuckle heartily. He kissed your forehead in a lingering touch before cupping your cheeks and making you look at him again. The same intense and loving gaze held in his face.

He leaned in, and your calming heart fluttered up again as he placed one last loving kiss on your lips, lingering them there for a moment. When he pulled away, he brushed his nose with yours, making you both giggle softly.

You didn’t want the night to end. You didn’t want him to leave. You never wanted to stop kissing him. You needed him—more than you needed breathing.

“Do you want to come inside?” You mumbled as your fingertips ran down his cheek. “I know Alpine would love to have you over, as would I. Maybe we can watch a movie and order dinner? Or start on some of the books? And then maybe after we can have....”

You couldn’t finish the sentence. That last word hitched in your throat. You were shy in telling him that you wanted to take a giant leap in your relationship and end the night with burning passion.

Bucky understood wholeheartedly what you wanted, and his face beamed in acceptance. He wanted all of it, just like you. He craved and longed for it.

“You know I would love nothing more, gorgeous.”

Thank you for reading 🖤 Feedback through a comment is highly appreciated! Or let me know through an anonymous ask if that feels more comfortable. As well as a reblog to share my work with other people!

Follow @bucky-barnes-diaries-library and turn on notifications to never miss out on my writing!

#navy and roo's sleepover #tfatws!bucky #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x f!reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes drabble #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fandom #sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan fluff #marvel #marvel x reader #marvel fluff

[classpecting-the-hoyoverse]

Veritas Ratio: The Rogue of Light

Rogue: The passive stealing class

One who steals aspect for others

Alternatively, one who shares or one who redistributes aspect with others

Light

Abstract: Knowledge, Awareness, Attention, Relevance, Fortune, Luck

Literal: Actual Light (Brightness), Vision, Eyes, the Sun, Stars

This is gonna become a series isn't it?

It is. Now let's get going on discussing everyone's favorite interstellar scholar: Dr. Veritas Ratio!!

Let's get the obvious out of the way: His aspect.

Light is more commonly known as the aspect of knowledge. But instead of talking about he’s light-bound personality wise, why don’t we shake things up a bit? We know that he's a smart and knowledgeable man, but what more can his aspect offer for us aside from that?

To fit with Ratio's Greco-Roman theming, I'll briefly discuss the World of Ideas in Plato's allegory of the Cave.

Forgive me to if I do get the allegory wrong and please feel free to correct me!

The gist of this is that ordinary people are like prisoners chained to a cave, only able to perceive reality through shadow puppets and the distorted noises that bounce off the cave walls. These prisoners were born in the cave and had been raised in the cave, not knowing anything else outside of it; ignorance. It's only when they break out of their chains do these prisoners start their path to enlightenment and they achieve it so once they see the bright sun outside of their cave; the World of Ideas.

Ratio seeks to break everyone from the chains of ignorance and guide them towards enlightenment through spreading his knowledge throughout the universe.

Ratio is the man who would forcefully break the prisoners' chains and nudge them towards the light, as much as he could anyways.

And for one specific character, he hopes it is enough.

We'll get back to him later! Next I want to talk about is Ratio and his connection to Christian Gnosticism, which likely had served as inspiration for the concept of the Light aspect in Homestuck. I will be borrowing ideas from one of optimisticDualist's essays so I highly recommend giving it a quick read before continuing onward.

According to Gnostic myth, the world was created through the desires of an aeon named Sophia, an Emanator of light. I should also note that the Greek word for wisdom is Σοφία.

Sophia longed to understand God in His entirety, but in doing so she committed treason and was thus cast out of heaven. Her desire gave birth to Yaldabaoth: a blind, violent, and ignorant god who knew nothing but himself. He created the material world that you and I perceive, shielded from the light of Sophia that birthed him. Because a blind god made the world in his image, the denizens of his earth are also blind to Sophia.

So what do banished gods have to do with the purple guy?

Well, just like Archimedes and screws, things come back around. In order to save yourself from Yaldabaoth’s world, one must be delivered a certain knowledge that is delivered by a “messenger of light” and thus gain the ability to perceive Sophia and her World of Ideas.

In other words, salvation can be sought in what Gnosticism calls a gnosis.

However, one cannot just simply be gifted a gnosis. Those who seek Sophia’s salvation must be driven to reach it, reach beyond the Demiurge’s dark and imprisoning world and into the intangible, bright world above.

Doesn’t that sound familiar?

By Gnostic definition, Ratio should be an Emanator of wisdom, helping curing others of ignorance and helping them on their way towards enlightenment. Hell, you can even say that he's a sylph with all the constant allusions to healing and helping, especially since that Ratio's a Doctor.

However, we all know that this isn't true. Within Ratio's character stories, it can be inferred that his one goal in life is to become an Emanator of the Erudition. His arduous pursuit of knowledge was likely all in hopes in attracting Nous' gaze.

Yet, despite all his efforts, Ratio was never spared a glance

Dr. Ratio is a model Emanator of wisdom by Gnostic standards, yet within his own universe his Aeon of Erudition does not acknowledge him. No matter how hard he tries, he will never reach the status of a member of the Genius society, almost as if he wasn't destined to be a part of it.

Let’s talk about his class: The rogue.

Rogues in Homestuck are the outcasts of their societies. They're loners, isolated, unable to fit in with the groups they want to identify in.

Rogue of Heart Nepeta Leijon lives alone in Alternia's wilderness far from troll society with her lusus as her only companion that is physically close to her.

She's been explicitly described as lonely, creating comics and ships of herself and her friends in order to mitigate her feelings of isolation from other trolls:

Then there's Rogue of Void Roxy Lalonde, who for her first 16 years of life was the only human within her town of carapaces, whom she provides food for. The only other human in her post-apocalyptic world is more than 1700 miles away.

Being a Void-Bound, her isolation is very much apparent, but her loneliness reaches its apex during her bad end in her Pesterquest route. Drinking herself to a stupor as the undeserving consequences of seeing her mother just once consumes her.

And then Rogue of Breath Rufioh Nitram, who was seen as a mutant for his wings and thus was avoided by his fellow trolls, which took a blow on his self-esteem.

Rogues also struggle with a surplus of their aspect and trying to cope up with that extra while it consumes them. Nepeta taking on the personas of other people through roleplaying, as well as her cave walls being covered in shipping grids. Rufioh living a literally directionless grubhood as travels with a nomadic group called the Lost Weaboos, not to mention his wings, a symbol of freedom, being the cause of why he views himself so lowly. And then there's Roxy, who feels so alone in the carapacian bastion that she fills that void with insobriety, befuddling her mind.

So what does this have to say about Dr. Ratio? All three rogues here have exhibited some type of self-worth issues and a desire to connect with others, but due to being so engulfed by their aspect, it hinders them from reaching that goal...

What if tiny Ratio exhibited such intellect at such a young age that throughout his childhood, he was told that he would be a great scholar growing up? Maybe his genius would earn him a spot within the Genius Society. He was even admitted into a university during his adolescent years.

As that is impressive as that sounds, can you imagine how isolating that can be for a child? Ratio, the only kid in class with his classmates years above him, talking about things outside of academia that he's too young to understand. Meanwhile Ratio likely doesn't interact with those his age as they couldn't provide anything to stimulate his brain. It could also be vice-versa too: Ratio trying to talk to them about topics far beyond their comprehension and they just start to distance themselves from him, unable to understand him, making an outcast out of him.

His intelligence and genius isolates him from making any genuine friendships during his formal years of life. At least, any that we know of before 2.1.

This loneliness does seem to follow him well into his adulthood as well: Becoming a celebrity comes with its own flavor of isolation: being surrounded by the limelight yet no one will truly understand you.

And let's not forget about his ambitions to become an Emanator of the Erudition, to become a member of the Genius Society, which he fell short of...

...something that he holds quite close to his chest, a betrayal of his self-perceived character. He became yet, once again, an outcast.

Another thing, I want you guys to got to Ratio's wiki real quick and see how many characters mention him.

How many people do you think were close to Ratio?

Within the team selection menu of Star Rail, Ratio has lines for when he's added to a team with Ruan Mei and Herta, yet the reverse isn't true. Both Genius scholars say nothing when added to a team with Ratio already in it, almost as if they don't acknowledge him.

There is, however, only one character who says something when added to a team with the Mundanite already in it.

Can you guess who it is?

But, as for all classes, their lives aren't meant to be miserable forever. A Rogue must find a way to overcome this loneliness; piecing through the walls of their confines made of their aspect. Instead of just keeping all their aspect for themselves like their Thief counterpart, Rogues find fulfillment through sharing their aspect, often by taking it from one source and distributing it to others. Or in some cases, exchanging something else in order to hand out.

And after all this, I dare say that Ratio joining the Genius Society would be the worst mistake he'd ever make. Stay with me, I have my reasons:

Though we never got to see much of Nepeta in action, we know that she distributes Heart through her shipping chart, arranging couples, distributing aspects of their personalities to see who would go together the best.

The amount of thought that she puts into her ships puts a Sylph of the same aspect like me to shame!

I digress.

In exchange of bringing attention to the Watterbitch that's about to destroy their game, Roxy was able to obscure the progression of her session from prying eyes, covering it in a blanket of blankness in order to keep Batterwitch from knowing what they're up to.

And then for Rufioh, his Alternian counterpart The Summoner lead a rebellion against the Condecse, using his wings to guide his fellow trolls towards freedom.

And even after his defeat, his tale lives on as Pupa Pan. While the tale of his rebellious predecessor the Signless is silenced and therefore lost to obscurity, the Summoner's story lives on, allowing the idea of freedom to flow into the mind of young trolls.

Dr. Ratio's entire character is dedicated to making education accessible for all. Though some of this does end up into his desire to cure people of idiocy, Ratio does truly believe that everyone should get a chance to attain knowledge. I'd even say that his ambition is the reason why he became a professor!

Ratio would dedicate his life towards his goal towards sharing knowledge, even if it meant forsaking Nous' attention in exchange.

His path also affirms this drive. One would expect that someone as knowledgeable as him would be following the path of Erudition, but instead Ratio follows the Hunt.

Ratio's determination to educate, his determination to spread light across the universe manifested into the path he follows. Even if he's never accepted by the Genius Society, he won't let that hinder him or dampen his drive. Ratio just simply strides forward.

The people who make up Nous' faction are described as researchers that rarely interact with each other, and even rarer are the people who are willing to share their research. Ratio would have never found fulfillment in being a member of the Genius Society, I'm almost certain that by joining it he would just be seeking out more and more knowledge, more and more light, becoming more and more isolated.

And one more thing: Rogues are fond of those who manage to get close to them. They appreciate their company and are incredibly dear to them.

For Nepeta, she has Equius.

For Roxy, she has Calliope.

Rufioh had Damara and the Summoner had the Marquise.

So who does Ratio have?

Even outside of a shipping lens, Aventurine is a very important person to Ratio. The 2.1 Penacony story quest demonstrated how much in tandem these two can be together; how much they trusted each other to pull off this huge gamble and draw attention to the death happening in the Planet of Dreams and Festivites. Luck and Knowledge, they both work in perfect harmony.

Aventurine calls him his equal during his episode in “Keeping Up with Star Rail”, claiming that Ratio’s the only one who can understand him.

Ratio and Aventurine must have something closer than just mutual respect however. Before Aventurine goes off into his grandiose self-annihilation, he checks up on him. He risks breaking their façade of disgruntled-coworkers-at-best just to make sure Aventurine can continue on.

Ratio does care for the Stoneheart. So much so that he imparts luck to quite literally the luckiest man alive in hopes that his advice will carry him out of the darkness that he’s in and back into the light. Bringing him out of the blinding Nihility and back into the World of Ideas, back into reality.

And it makes this note all the more important when Aventurine accepts Ratio’s advice, accepting his light when most would brush it off.

Ratio is a bright person, yet most cannot see past his luminosity and at the same time, he can’t shine bright enough to attract those he aspires to be. To remedy this, the Rogue of Light distributes his lights to others who needs it. He wants to cure those inflicted with ignorance and guide them towards enlightenment.

Knowledge for knowledge’s sake is not his Ratio rolls. His altruism may go against what the Genius Society believes in, but he wouldn’t change his ideals for anyone, steadfast in his determination to cure idiocy.

#homestuck #godtiers #classpect #classpect analysis #rogue of light #light aspect #rogue class #hsr #honkai star rail #hsr dr ratio #dr ratio #dr ratio honkai star rail #aventurine honkai star rail #ratiorine

[thoodleoo]

not on the third servile war, but if someone is interested in the role and reality on slaves in the Roman Republic, “Slave Theater in the Roman Republic: Plautus and Popular Comedy” by Amy Richlin is quite the read. I read large parts of it for a class on Slavery in Roman Comedy, and I highly recommend it. It also has lots of references to expand reading since it is a culmination of Richlin’s career of research and thinking. I think some parts of the book miss the mark a little on discussing queerness in Roman comedy (specifically talking about gender, drag, and men performing as women) but it’s overall an absolutely amazing and difficult read. It talks about how slavery appears in Roman comedy, to what extent Plautus’ comedy is sympathetic to and indicative of the Roman enslaved person’s experience, etc. HUGE warning for human trafficking, sexual assault, long discussions of sexual exploitation, gendered violence, torture…because it’s about the realities of slavery in Rome. I’m not going to be able to do the book justice in an ask, but there are academic reviews aplenty out there! (Also note, the book explains a lot of things but I suggest having read at least one of Plautus’ plays and having a passing familiarity with the concept and conventions of Roman comedy)

that sounds like a super interesting read! might have to check that out myself!

[thelaithlyworm]

Daomu Biji Watcher’s Guide, May 2024

A few new entries have been popping up lately, and I’m always hopeful new fans will stumble into the pits and never leave so I thought I’d paste up a rough map.

(Obviously the best watching order, like the best reading order of Discworld or the Aubrey-Maturin books, is ‘whatever first comes to your hand’ but for the people who don’t like that…)

tl;dr:

Daomu Biji is a series about tomb raiding. Think Indiana Jones or Lara Croft but much, much longer. The protagonist Wu Xie is deeply in love with BFF1 Zhang Qiling, a hundred-year-old cryptid, and BFF2 Wang Pangzi, who was stolen in a raid from another book series. It’s comic, tragic, horrific, zany, prone to musings on life, love, desire, attachment, and has many, many piss jokes. (‘Journey to the West but modern’ is maybe the other comparison I’d make.)

Notes:

– This guide is not talking about “quality”. All of the adaptations have their own strengths and weaknesses and tone can vary a great deal, which is to say, if one of them doesn’t suit you it’s likely something else will.

– Wacky endings, and plot threads that disappear unfinished and get picked up a long time later, are as inherent to the franchise as the piss jokes.

– It’s common for the dramas to introduce characters and subplots a lot earlier than the books do. Sometimes we’ll see a character introduced ‘for the first time’ on multiple occasions and strangely familiar scenes. I’ll try to point out the biggest continuity clashes as I go.

The Soft Entry:

There are a few movies that are entertaining as standalones but will introduce various characters and background. I would recommend:

Escape from the Monstrous Snake + Mystery/Grave of the Abyss – two monster movies featuring Hei Xiazi, a supporting character. He’s a pragmatical mercenary who’s going blind in kind of a weird way, and goofy as hell when he isn’t tiptoeing over a vast abyss of existential dread. So many fun action scenes.

Time Raiders (2015) – so there are some textual clues that late in his career Wu Xie wrote this story as a memory-jogger for an amnesiac friend. The plot is a freewheeling wild ride which doesn’t directly match any book plot but introduces some major characters and how they relate to each other. It’s colourful and fast-moving. Enjoy, enjoy.

Conjuring Curse and Misty Creed are… theoretically set late in the series even if the actors look about twelve. Both work as stand-alone adventures, though Misty Creed is maybe a little deep in the lore. Again, colourful and fast-moving.

The Chronological Order

You could honestly start with most of these – they tend to come with a ‘what has gone before’ at the start or a newbie character that things get explained to. The only one I wouldn’t start with is Heavenly Palace in the Clouds, which is lovely but also the second half of a set and things won’t make sense if you haven’t seen Lost Tomb 2 first.

Lost Tomb 1 – a highly digestible 10-12 episode version of the Seven Star Lu Palace arc, ie. Baby’s First Adventure. Introduces A-Ning, Xie Yuchen, and Huo Xiuxiu early and a couple of og characters for Wu Xie to talk to instead of monologuing to himself. The restaurant scene at the end was raided from a later arc and you’ll see it again in Ultimate Note. A book character, Da Kui, was cut which is a small problem because how he died is a minor plot point discussed in Lost Tomb 2. 

Lost Tomb 2 – covers Raging Sea, Hidden Sands (underwater tomb) and Qinling God-Tree (weird bronze tree in the mountains) plus a whole lotta side stories and original content exploring the world and foreshadowing later plots. Mooostly in continuity with Lost Tomb 1 (see Da Kui above) and made as a set with Heavenly Palace in the Clouds – they share resources and a lot of actors, and some threads begun here are finished in Heavenly Palace.

Heavenly Palace in the Clouds – covers the Mt Changbai arc, a journey up a mountain to find a very old, very grand tomb. This was made so close to Lost Tomb 2 that LT2 borrows shots from Heavenly Palace and not the other way around, which is fascinating because it pointedly contradicts the last five episodes of LT2. It also brings forward some plotlines originally from the Tamutuo and Zhang Family Old Pavilion arcs (San-shu’s past in the underwater tomb, and the Huo Family videotapes) dragging some characters on-screen and forcing them to talk about their feelings, which they would clearly rather die than do. Given those plot-tweaks and the early, deliberate continuity clash, I’m tempted to call this a Canon Parallel Universe. Got some interestingly chewy character dynamics and luverly, luverly set design.

Mystic Nine – This is a prequel about Zhang Qishan – Fo-ye – and his peers, but later dramas expect us to know who Fo-ye was so I’m sticking it here. Kinda… picaresque? Lots of action scenes and Republican-era flavour and various factions jostling for power – kinda feels like an old-school wuxia story, only set in the 1930s with all that glorious Republican-era styling. Has some unfortunate cut scenes – the details of how Fo-ye recovered at his family’s house don’t make a lot of sense in the aired version, and there are a couple of missing fights in the penultimate episode. Shrug. Still a lot of fun. Comes with four side movies about supporting characters.

Ultimate Note – Covers the Tamutuo arc (a trip through the jungle) and two-thirds of the Zhang Family Old Pavilion arc (investigating Zhang Qiling’s past is like kicking a hornet’s nest). Very, very flirty and has some zippy-zip action choreography. Politely ignores Lost Tomb 1–Heavenly Palace continuity (Xie Yuchen is, once more, introduced for the first time, now with a romantically coded friendship arc) and brings in a lot of cameos from Mystic Nine and Sand Sea, which it was filmed after. Kinda tiptoes around parts of the book plot, which I suspect would be hard for anyone to film, re: Fo-ye’s actions in the 1960s. Fair warning, this ends on a cliffhanger. This is also where the Xinyue Restaurant scene appears again – two cakes!

Tibetan Sea Flower – If Tibetan Sea Flower ever airs, it will go here.

Sand Sea – Based on the Sand Sea novel. After Tibetan Sea Flower, Wu Xie goes into a bit of a decline and makes that the world’s problem. We the audience, plus Li Cu and Liang Wan, EDIT: a lovely doctor, are pretty much dropped in media res into a number of ancient conspiracies and complicated plots coming to a head in the manner of a boil. It’s weird; it’s messy; it’s mad fun. Like Mystic Nine, has a lot of factions jostling for power and colourful jianghu characters. We will, once more, see the Xinyue Restaurant scene. Also has some side movies.

Time Raiders – The textual hints that suggest Wu Xie wrote this, suggest he wrote it around Sand Sea-era, when his life was a bit complicated. I’m putting it after Sand Sea because I believe it caps a conversation that, ah, doesn’t quite make it into the drama. But notionally this is where it should go. Ah…. at one point, someone tells a story about an ancient ruler, King Mu of Zhou, who sought immortality from the Queen of the West in Tamutuo. The longer book conversation suggests that a) King Mu of Zhou engineered a “trap” for someone like Wu Xie to fall into in the future, and b) that Iron Mask Scholar, a villain from Lost Tomb 1, was an alias that King Mu of Zhou used in the Warring States Era. Which makes some of Iron Mask Scholar’s appearances in Time Raiders… interesting.

Reunion: Sound of Providence – sometimes known as Reboot. Having peaked in badassery in Sand Sea, Wu Xie has to consider what his life is going to be now, and also, he would like to track down a missing family member. So this was tweaked to make it more accessible to new viewers (so some parts of the back-story are not mentioned or conflated for simplicity) and that mostly works but I did find watching this first and then picking up the earlier dramas a bit of a mindscrew. Zhu Yilong is, however, a powerful draw and the rest of the cast sparkles. Probably best to think of Season 1 as two short seasons jammed together, which is to say, once the Warehouse 11 arc starts there are a number of characters who won’t reappear until Season 2. It’s a fun arc even so. Season 2 ends with a badass action scene and then a big party, which I think is a great way to end a story.

Escape from the Monstrous Snake, Mystery/Grave of the Abyss, Conjuring Curse, Misty Creed – these are all theoretically set around or after Reboot-era, though they can certainly be watched as stand-alones.

#daomu biji #dmbj #the lost tomb #lost tomb 2 #heavenly palace in the clouds #mystic nine #ultimate note #sand sea #sound of providence #conjuring curse #misty creed #escape from the monstrous snake #mystery of the abyss

[tbookblurbs]

The Final Empire - Brandon Sanderson (Mistborn Era 1, #1)

5/5 - fabulous characters, heist novel, Vin my beloved!! start of a truly fabulous trilogy, really innovative magic

SPOILERS BELOW!!!

This was the first Sanderson novel I read and it really captured my heart (as it probably obvious). As such, it holds a special place of honor To Me as one of his superior works.

The Final Empire is excellent for a number of reasons. First, it's a heist movie in a book. Think Ocean's 11 (2018). The crew is all very likeable and they come together to put together a truly insane plan. The best part is that, at several points in the story, key elements of the plan go completely wrong. It's delightful. Nothing is better than watching characters who are supposed to be clever actually act clever.

TFE is also distinct amongst many trilogy consisting of a fight against an evil overlord in that the fight happens and succeeds in the very first book. It doesn't take them the usual first attempt, minor success, second attempt horrific failure, and third attempt actual victory that usually happens over the course of fantasy trilogies. This also means they actually have to have the philosophical discussions that usually get tossed to the wayside regarding what to do after a revolution succeeds. Delicious I tell you.

Sanderson is also a master of describing places that are foreign compared to Earth and then sells these concepts by changing the way that characters behave. People thinking plants being green would just be weird? Extra notes of importance on the color white because of all the ash? The world doesn't only look different, which is common in most fantasy settings, but the characters feel like they're from somewhere totally different, which some books are not successful at.

Allomancy as a concept is also something that's super distinctive to me. Sanderson is pretty well-known in fantasy circles for defining "hard" and "soft" magic and he abides pretty strictly by those rules.

And the cherry on top of the cupcake is Vin. My beloved. Her struggle with identity, trust issues, her own power, it's just everything to me. She goes through a whole "I'm not like other girls" arc and yet she's still struggling. She's immensely powerful and yet so inexperienced. I love her. I would do anything for her.

Also Vin and Elend's romance is just so cute. You have to feel for Vin the whole time. They have my whole heart.

Now having read The Secret History, I still harbor some conflicted feelings towards Kelsier. He's such a good father figure to Vin (which makes him dying so heartbreaking) but his whole religious arc still leaves me feeling weird.

PS: If you would like some really good Vin art, or good Sanderson art in general, I highly recommend @lamaery their Vin design and their costume design is !!! crazy good

#I could wax poetic about this book #AND I WILL #i didn't even get to talk about Sazed or ab Ham's philosophy discussions or the mist or the POLITICAL MANEUVERING?? #but i'm trying to be brief. i love this book. #only problem is that Elend is blond and I just don't think blond men are pretty :/ sorry Elend #mistborn #the final empire #mistborn spoilers #vin venture #kelsier #mistborn era 1 #cosmere #book review #fantasy #high fantasy #brandon sanderson #elend venture