#HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I SAID THAT IM GOING INSANE JUST THIS WEEK ALONE????!!!!!!??! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lovebugism · 1 year

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hi babe hope this isn’t too personal but not having the greatest time right now. therapist did not answer any of my calls today so im kinda a mess 🥲🥲 if you’re willing to write any kind of comfort fic with any character that would be the best 💗💗💗

hi anon! i hope things are going better now! take this eddie munson comfort fic as my attempts to make you feel a wee bit better ily mwah <3

You were pretty good at taking care of yourself most of the time. Eddie always thought your innate sense of responsibility was extremely hot — mostly because it meant that you were even better at taking care of him.

He said it was a perk of being your boyfriend — “one of many,” he’d say, just before smacking a kiss to your cheek.

You were the yin to his yang in that way. Peace in all his chaos.

Eddie, himself, was a being who thrived on mayhem. There wasn’t a single thing he loved more than unpredictability — well, you, of course. Then maybe DnD. But spontaneity was a close third.

He isn’t quite sure how to live his life without the company of total disarray. He isn’t sure he would want to if he had the chance either. The unexpected makes things fun. At least, that’s what he always tells you. You’re not so sure.

When he makes you late to things because of his horrible time management skills, or he can’t find his keys because they’re hidden somewhere underneath a pile of clothes in the corner of his room, it feels a little like the end of the world.

And not just in the oh no, this thing is really stressing me out; good thing I know it’s illogical sort of way. But in the oh fuck, we’re gonna be ten minutes late to this get-together where there are zero consequences whether we show up or not, but it’s inducing so much panic that I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to function properly.

You’ve gotten pretty good at hiding your fear over the years. It’s just that Eddie’s so damn attuned to everything going on in your head that it makes it insanely difficult to wallow in your dread alone.

He knows when you start pacing and talking a million miles a minute that something’s working you up. He knows when you start getting snappy and don’t think his jokes are funny anymore that you’re close to your breaking point. He knows when you stop talking altogether that your entire world is caving in around you.

So Eddie takes great care in getting to things on time and tidying up his room when you're around. He doesn’t even care that he finds it all a bit irrational, he just wants to make things easier for you. Even if it means getting to Steve’s house an hour before everyone else or actually folding his clothes before putting them in drawers.

Eddie knows you use structure like a weapon rather than a shield. Organization isn't a way to keep your life together, it’s to keep it from falling apart. When something is out of order, when there’s one piece out of place, it’s not an easy fix — not for you. It’s more like a ticking tomb.

You’re the ticking time bomb. And the faintest scent of disorder is bound to make you explode.

But maybe calling it a bomb isn’t the most accurate way to describe it. The way Eddie sees it, it’s a lot more like an avalanche.

It starts off small, a little rumble of uncertainty that jostles the comfort of your routine. You blink and suddenly the snowball weighs two tons and you’ve spiraled into a full-blown crisis that threatens to swallow you whole.

You don’t let anyone see any of it. Not even Eddie a lot of the time. You just bury yourself in the landslide until the heavy snow melts and you can function normally again — it may last a couple hours, maybe weeks.

So it’s a good thing Eddie can see all the warning signs before they start.

It’s all the little shit he notices first — the not showering as often, the not keeping things as tidy as usual, the closing yourself off. Eddie Munson knows a depression room when he sees one. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know you’re slipping.

But rather than acknowledge that boogeyman, he pretends like it isn’t there at all. He thinks if he acts like it doesn’t scare him, then it doesn’t have the power to hurt him. That’s exactly how he treats the funks you get into. He knows they’re there but doesn’t let them take over completely.

Eddie comes around whenever he gets the chance and helps you do your self-care routine — even though all you do is complain that you don’t need his help the entire time.

He coaxes you into the bath and tidies up your bedroom while you’re gone. He does all the steps of your skincare for you after because he knows you can’t do it yourself. You’re too tired to, but you feel like shit when you don’t. That’s the same bitter cycle that started this whole mess.

He doesn’t do anything crazy. He just takes care of the little things to make you feel less consumed by it all.

You’re a pouting mess in the middle of your bed after, freshly cleaned and drowning in a too big shirt that smells like the musk of Eddie’s cologne with a towel twisted up in your hair. It’s almost cartoonish, the way you cross your arms over your chest and scrunch your face in displeasure.

“I don’t want you to do all this stuff for me, Eds,” you gripe. “I’m a big girl, okay? I can do it myself.”

The boy shrugs from where he stands at the foot of your bed. “I know I don’t have to. I want to, though. I like doing this stuff for you.”

“You hate cleaning, Eddie.”

“Yeah. I do,” he affirms with a nod, all but flopping onto the mattress beside you. He rests his head on his fist and blinks up at you with wide, twinkling button eyes. A grin pulls at his pink lips as he asks you, “But you know what I don’t hate?”

You huff but entertain him anyway. “…What?”

“You,” he beams and taps the tip of your nose with his pointer finger.

You meet his smile with a grimace.

“Actually, I sort of love you, as it turns out,” he corrects himself in a lilt. “And when you love someone, you do the shit you hate to make them happy, right? Isn’t that what it’s all about?”

You don’t answer him, just shrug.

“Well, either way, I’m happy to do all the boring shit if it means there’s a chance I get to make you feel even a little bit better,” Eddie tells you, pinching his thumb and forefinger together and leaving just an inch or more of space to squint his eye through.

That hand flops down and lands on your thigh. His thumb absentmindedly rubs over the skin there. His smile turns sheepish.

“I will happily fold laundry and do taxes and wash dishes and… all that stupid, boring shit for you for the rest of my life, as long as I can look over and see you next to me…”

Your heart swells with a distant happiness you haven’t felt in weeks.

Eddie helps you until you feel better enough to do it yourself.

Needless to say, when he stops by your place and finds it completely spotless, he doesn’t bother to hide his excitement. He rushes to your room and finds you in bed, flipping through a book. The small radio on your bedside table plays something synth-y.

He realizes you’ve traded in The Smiths for The Psychedelic Furs and that your lavender candle is burning on your desk and that you’ve spritzed yourself in your vanilla perfume.

Those are all staples in your little routine that you borderline can’t live without. You always missed out on them when you got into your funks, but here they are again…

Eddie tries not to smile too wide.

“How’s it hangin’?” he sing-songs when he waltzes into your room.

“Fine...” you murmur, half-distracted by your novel. After a few long seconds, your eyes finally flit up to his. He’s doing a terrible job of hiding a grin. “…Why are you looking at me like that?”

Eddie shrugs as he takes off his leather jacket. He neatly lays the thing over the back of your desk chair and smooths out the wrinkles.

“‘Cause I love the shit out of you,” he answers like it’s nothing, like the words don’t mean everything to you. “And I’m really fucking proud of you.”

“Proud of me?” you echo in a scoff.

Because, to you, crawling out of a three week long funk is hardly something to be proud of. You don’t feel like you should be rewarded for being human, but Eddie knows that getting through the hard shit is a part of being human. And he’s so goddamn proud of you for it.

“Yep,” he nods with pink cheeks and a hopeful grin. “I’ve never been prouder of you, babe. And, like, I’m always proud of you, so that’s saying something.”

“Shut up,” you mutter under your breath. Your attention flits back to your book rather than focusing on the intense gaze Eddie looks at you with. You don’t get through a single sentence before he rips the thing from your hands. “Eddie!—”

You look at him again and find that he’s sterner now, but still so tender — chocolate eyes hardened but soft around the edges. There’s a kind grin on his and an air about him that tells you he’s serious.

Eddie rounds your bed and plants himself at the edge of it. He keeps your book hostage in one hand and holds onto your calf with the other, running his thumb over the soft skin of your knee.

“I’m serious,” he tells you. “Like, I know shit gets hard for you sometimes, but... I don't know, watching you get through it is… really fucking cool, babe.”

He laughs when it makes you laugh.

“Seriously. It’s like you get stronger every day, and… not to be a total sap or whatever, but I feel really lucky that I get to see it.”

You’re not sure whether to duck away from his gaze or revel in its warmth. You manage somehow to do both with a distant pout on your face.

Eddie’s grin widens until the dimple in his right cheek reveals itself. “What?” he laughs. “What’s that look for?”

“‘Cause you’re nice to me,” you mumble like the cutest little storm cloud. “And it’s gross… And also I love you.”

“Well, get ready, babe. You got a whole lifetime of me being nice to you coming your way, so… Be prepared to be sick of me by the time we’re all old and wrinkly, alright? ‘Cause I’m still gonna love the shit outta you then.”

You grumble when he smacks a kiss to your knee.

You hope he keeps his promise.

#published by bug #eddie munson x reader #stranger things x reader #eddie munson imagine #stranger things imagine #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fic #eddie spaghetti drabble #st drabbles

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heartbreakgrill · 3 months

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Delicate: Vessel (Sleep Token); Pt. 5, "Is it cool that I said all that?"

A week passed, just like that. We had flown to Germany at the beginning of the next week, where we’d be for just fourteen days before we’d move onto France.

Oliver and I didn’t have many chances to see one another. We were always on different wavelengths. Him, with rehearsals, vocal rests, writing sessions. Me, with the delicacies of travel. The only times we really saw each other were during breakfast or dinner, two places he’d been making a point to show up to. No one really noticed his newfound presence- no one but me, considering it seemed to previously be a way for him to spite my very existence.

His first appearance happened the very next morning after our conversation on the bus. After he kissed me like he was going off to battle, we rode the elevator up our floor, departed at my door, and just an hour later, he ended up texting me goodnight. That message alone was enough to have my heart beating crazily.

The next morning, I was still feeling that aftershock while sitting at the breakfast table, talking to Ronnie about her brother’s baby. The elevator doors dinged, opening up like the literal gates of heaven. I barely paid any mind because everyone who normally came to breakfast was already seated at our table. But, I did spare a glance and caught sight of his dark figure, slinking towards us. I gave a second look, stumbling over whatever it was I had been saying to Ronnie. I covered up my stutter by clearing my throat, but she didn’t really notice, nor did she seem to care. Oliver sat at the end of the table, greeting everyone with his same simple nod. My heart was going again.

I tried not to stare, tried not to even look at him for fear of melting on the spot, even when I felt his eyes burning into my face. I was blushing, bright red. My knee shook, nervously, under the table as I brushed my hair from my cheeks, behind my ears. I caught his eye from the corner of my own and he smiled, ever so slightly.

I was done for, I knew it.

It became a delight to see him at these meals, even if we never got the chance to speak to each other; even if, afterwards, he’d shoot back upstairs to his room. That was always my favorite part, when he disappeared from the table because, shortly after, he’d text me.

Something like:

Oliver: your hair looked pretty today.

Daisy: you looked alright 🤷

Oliver: wooooooow

I compliment you and this is how you treat me

Daisy: oh im so super sorry

Oliver, you are so handsome and gorgeous and amazing and awesome

Better?

Oliver: sure, sure

That’s where most of our conversation took place, over text, especially that first week that whatever this was began to take place.

He’d text me good morning and good night, nearly every single day. He’d ask how my day was, ask me what sort of plans I had. I kept waiting for this question to evolve into another one, something like, “Wanna hang out later?” I’d settle for a damn booty call, if that’s what he wanted. I tried not to get frustrated when that first week drug on, knowing he was insanely busy. I couldn’t expect him to drop everything else and prioritize me. But, a small part of me hoped he would.

I just wanted a little bit more of his attention.

Luckily, I- eventually- got it.

We were in Germany for the next week. We flew out from Italy that Sunday, settled into our hotel in the early afternoon. I hadn’t planned anything for that Monday, hoping to just rest a bit, leisure across the city, maybe. I knew, too, that the band was off that day. Maybe a small part of me was making sure I was available in case he wanted to grace me with his presence. I wouldn’t admit it, though, because it just wasn’t healthy.

But, my hopes amounted to something.

At first, things seemed to regress. There were no messages from him on my phone.

I thought about texting him first, but I felt strange doing so, like he’d be annoyed if I reached out instead. I then tried to ignore the sinking feeling that this put in my chest. Maybe he was done with me. Maybe he realized that this wasn’t ever going anywhere, especially considering we hadn’t so much as had an in-person conversation in a week. Luckily, I hadn’t slept with him.

My mind began racing too much, so I pulled myself out of bed and started getting ready for the day. Sam was already gone. He told me yesterday that he, Cy, Adam, and Ronnie had made plans to go do something. He offered me to come with, but I really wanted to just laze about. There was an infinity pool and today was going to be one of the warmest days of the summer for this country. Soaking up the sun seemed like a good way to truly relax.

So, I put on a bathing suit, slipped a sundress overtop, and rubbed sunscreen all over myself. I wasn’t about to battle a sunburn on top of jet lag. Then, I packed my purse with my water bottle, my latest book, headphones, and my wallet. Just as I went to grab my phone, sling my towel over my shoulder, head out, a knock came from the door.

I turned to the sound with furrowed brows. Housekeeping wasn’t supposed to come until we told them to. And, as far as I knew, we hadn’t scheduled a cleaning.

“Who is it?” I called out, stepping towards the door.

“It’s me,” a low voice responded, hushed in volume.

A thrilling excitement suddenly rushed through my veins. I tried not to rush over to the door and instead, forced myself to take slow steps. I set a hand on the handle, already feeling a shake in my bones. Just being this close to him pulled some sort of chemical reaction out of me.

The door opened and Oliver turned his head straight, to really look at me. He had been checking over his shoulder, paranoid about any passerbyers. As soon as he saw me, he grinned, wide. Then, he didn’t hesitate to shove me back into the room, his hands on my hips, his lips grasping for mine. He threw the door shut behind him.

It took me a second to find my footing. But, when I did, I became desperate, hungry. I tugged at the front of his hoodie in an attempt to get him as close to me as physically possible. Oliver ran a hand up my hip, across the front of my body, between my breasts, up around my neck. His fingers were slotted just beneath either side of my jaw. He pressed down, ever so slightly, to ensure my mouth stayed on his.

As he kissed me, I could tell he was basically starved. This was even more evident when he nipped my bottom lip, drawing just the thinnest drop of blood. I moaned, involuntarily, at the feeling of his teeth pulling at my skin, though it was only for a millisecond.

Oliver reared his head back, looking down at me with furrowed brows. He processed what had just happened, assisted by the size of my pupils and the way my lips sat, open, waiting for him to come back. A smirk twisted onto his lips, “Oh, darling…”

He pulled me back in, running his tongue across my bottom lip to clear the blood. My knees were weak. Luckily, he moved, so that he was sitting on the bed and tugged me down into his lap again. He didn’t hesitate to grab my ass, grip on my throat tightening a bit. He moved his lips to my cheek as his movements became painfully slow.

“You’re so pretty, Daisy,” he whispered against the apple of my cheek. I felt his eyelids flutter across my skin as he moved away from my lips. I nearly shivered at the goosebumps, a stark contrast to the heat pooling all over my body.

He moved his other hand to my neck, too, brushing the hair down over the back of my shoulder. In doing so, he placed his hand back where it had been. Then, his lips made their way to my bare skin, right where my neck curved into my shoulder. His sweet, soft kisses suddenly turned into small nips, his teeth tugging at my skin.

I squeaked at the first one, but, then, as he carried on down my neck, I found pleasure in the nipping pain. I gripped at his shoulders, a hand moving to his hair, as my desperation took over my body. I couldn’t sit still anymore. I ground my hips down into his, eliciting a huffed breath from Oliver. I wanted to grin at the power I knew I had over him, but I really just wanted to stay as I was- putty in his hands. I didn’t want any control. I was his to use, his to manipulate. I would do whatever.

But, I did find a little bit of a rhythm in my hips, if only because I needed the friction. I was motivated when I knew it was making him feel good, too. As I did so, Oliver’s lips came to my skin again. They caressed the edge of my earlobe, where I could hear his sweet breathlessness.

“Daisy,” he whispered, nearly moaning my name into my ear.

I shuddered a sharp, audible breath at the sound of this. I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed him- everywhere. The anticipation, all of these long weeks- even just this one- it was killing me.

I pressed my forehead against the side of his head, whispering my own words into his ear, “Oliver, please!”

He finally listened. His hand found the bottom hem of my sundress and he quickly tore it from my head. It landed somewhere across the room. Eyes still dropped shut, I went blindly for his hoodie. But, Oliver caught my hands in his, stretching my arms out on either side of us.

I opened my eyes curiously, brows furrowed. His gaze was dragging itself down my swimsuit-clad body, a sly grin on his lips. I blushed at the look on his face and wanted to pull my arms back around myself. But, he held me open. He kept admiring.

“Daisy, darling,” he rolled his eyes back up, over my chest, until he met my stare. A wider grin stretched across his face. “Daisy…you are gorgeous.”

I scrunched up my nose and looked down at our laps. He dropped our hands and took my face in his hold, pulling my eyes back to his. “Don’t do that. We’re not gonna do that, okay? Even if you have to pretend, I won’t let you be ashamed of yourself when we do this, okay? You are…so fucking beautiful.”

I took a deep breath as the sincerity of his words sunk into my skin. I nodded slightly.

Oliver eyed my lips and slowly leaned back into me. This kiss was different. The hunger, the ferocity, slowed. It was almost…loving, gentle. But, then, I moved my hands back to his hair, tugged slightly, and he went back to ravishing me.

I helped Oliver shed his hoodie. Then, I had my turn, admiring his toned chest, scarce of any dark makeup. I didn’t have to say anything to him. I knew that he could read all of my thoughts through my eyes.

What I wanted to say, but couldn’t quite find the words to, was that he was something out of a Greek myth, something untouchable. Something that would never be real.

I drug my fingers down his chest as he kissed me again. I undid his belt. When I tugged at his jeans, I found my footing on the floor, moving off of him, so he could stand to pull the pants down. His hands were back on my body in an instant. Though he began to tug me back on his lap, I had my own plans. Just as I began to crouch down to his knees, Oliver opened his mouth to protest, but-

A knock sounded from the door, followed by a taunting, “Daisy…”

Shit.

Max.

My spine straightened so fast, I thought it would snap in half. Mine and Oliver’s head whipped towards the door, my own gaze widened with utter shock. Oliver formed a fist with his hand, punching the palm of his other in slow defeat.

He looked back to me, fear in his pupils, “What the fuck?”

I shrugged defensively, bewildered. I went to whisper back when Max spoke again. “Daisyyyyyy, darling- I know you’re awake. Was wondering if you wanted to hang today, since we’re both free. Cmon, open up-“ he rapped his knuckles against the door again.

Everything occurred in a desperate haste: Oliver rounded up his clothes, arms stuffed full of them, within five seconds flat. I tracked down his shoes as he did so. Then, I nearly pushed him onto the floor of the bathroom. He stumbled on his feet, barely catching himself on the counter. As the door fell shut, he shot me a panicked, worrisome expression that I could only scrunch my face up at. I didn’t know what he wanted me to do, but he was acting like someone was here to murder him.

I went to the door, sweating a bit, and lay a shaky hand upon the knob. Then, I realized I was half-naked and rushed to pull my dress back on. Before he could knock again, I let Max in, hoping I looked anything but suspicious.

As soon as he came into view, Max was elbowing his way inside. He held a tray with two drinks and a small brown pouch that wafted a delicious smell past me.

He carried an energy that was far too excited for my current nervous stature. “Good morning, darling! Sleep well? I sure did. What are your plans for the day? I’m thinking we lounge out by the pool for a few hours, maybe catch a late lunch, then hit the town? Drop by a few bars? Maybe we can round up the rest of the group, force Oliver out of his self-inflicted prison, have some fun? Yeah?”

As he spoke, Max moved around the room, unloading one of the drinks into my hands, picking out a few napkins, presenting a pastry on the small desk in the corner, seating himself onto the bed all casually with a leg crossed over the other. When he finished, he took a slow sip of his coffee, brows raised expectantly

I toyed with the lid on my drink, eyes darting nervously towards the bathroom. I knew it wasn’t true, but I almost felt like I could hear Oliver’s breathing. Smell his cologne. I worried Max would, too.

Everything would be over.

“Um-“ I cleared my throat. Then, I tried to relax my shoulders and approach Max with a friendly smile. “Yeah! Yeah, that could be fun. I was planning on going down to the pool anyway.”

“Wonderful, darling,” Max approved, “Well, why don’t you go ahead and finish getting ready and we’ll get going.”

I looked around me, trying to remember where I had left off this morning, when Oliver had barged in and interrupted my routine.

“I just need to grab my stuff, actually. I was heading out the door before O-“ I cut myself off from my explanation, lips pinched together in a way that I could only assume looked quite guilty. I swallowed thickly, ashamedly glancing towards the bathroom again. I tried to save myself, “before you started knocking, ha! What a coincidence!”

“Coincidence…” Max followed my glancing gaze. I snapped my eyes back forward, and he met me there. The edges of his pupils seemed to squint, like he was reading between the lines, but he didn’t say anything else. “Well! To the pool we go!”

We were in the clear…for now.

Oliver: i am so fucking sorry

Hes a prick

So fucking daft

God

I love him

But what a bloody idiot

Daisy: LMFAO

I dont even know what to say

I feel bad for you!!

Theres gonna be a witch hunt for you if anyone ever figures it out

Oliver: god dont remind me

Youre so worth it though

We spent hours poolside, like two beached whales, glistening with sweet sweat on our shoulders and sunscreen in our skin. I dipped into the water infrequently, if only to cool myself down, but spent most of my time finishing up a book (texting Oliver between its pages). I cursed Max for his lightly tinted shades, praying to whatever God above that he wasn’t side-eyeing me, that he couldn't see my illicit grins, my quick thumbs.

I tried to get Oliver to come hang out with us. If I couldn't have him to myself, I’d take small doses of him with others. But, as vampiric as he was, laying by the pool was just not something he wanted to do. Besides, in his own words:

Oliver: I just wouldn't be able to be so close to you without doing something

Especially with you in that little bit of cloth you call a swimsuit

I should be a dick and make you squirm

Make you think about me while you’re all peaceful by the pool

Make you think about my hands

My teeth

Daisy: Oliver…

Asshole

Oliver: sorry, darling

But after that incident with the cake?

And that bathing suit

Yeah i think it's my turn

(1 attached photo)

The heat outside was nothing compared to what I felt in my chest. I ensured my jaw was shut tightly, unwilling to let the saliva pooled in my mouth dribble down my chin. Then, I scrounged through my photo albums, cursing myself for having deleted my most intimate photos. Instead, I had to just stare (drool) at the one he’d sent- his hand, his bare stomach, the very edges of his pitch black boxers.

I would never lose this game- I just couldn't. But, in this moment, I was! While I liked being submissive in the end, I enjoyed being the one doing the teasing. That slight upper hand I got from it gave me a headrush. I was, I guess…bratty.

So, I watched Max carefully from the corner of my vision, thankful for my tiny bathing suit. I could make do- if he’d just leave. He was reading his own novel, hunched over a little bit. It had been a while since he’d gone to the bathroom or really even moved. He had to eventually.

My wishing on invisible stars worked because Max excused himself to the bathroom. He first paused to ensure I was doing okay. I thanked him for his concern with an urgent smile, quick nod of my head. And then he was gone.

Daisy: I really don’t get what all this fuss is about. I think this suit covers me up just fine, don’t ya think?

(1 attached photo)

Oliver: behave, miss thing

You have no idea what’s waiting for you

Daisy: sure, sure

Needless to say, Oliver put me on the very edge of my seat all day. I only had the one photo that was taken in the heat of the moment. He had…an empty hotel room and an imagination like any other. He never let me see past those stupid boxers though, holding out on me to only intensify that anticipation.

As was Max’s plan, we grabbed a late lunch. I had hoped we’d change beforehand, but he was so hungry, we had to rush out of the hotel. And, as per usual with Max, he took his good old time eating, strolling leisurely, dropping by every single shop that caught his eye. Don’t get me wrong- it was a lot of fun. I was grateful to have some one-on-one time with him.

But, I knew what- who was waiting for me back at the hotel. So, I was a little distracted.

Eventually, the day was coming to a close. No one really wanted to go out drinking because the band had rehearsals early in the morning. Instead, we were all going to meet up for a light dinner in the hotel bar.

I tried to escape Max as soon as we entered the hotel, but he insisted on walking me to my room. Meanwhile, Oliver was shooting me a dozen messages- he was in his room, he didn’t have a shirt on, and he was waiting for even the shortest possible breath that he could take at my lips.

Max stood outside my door, yapping about some shop lady who had made a joke to us earlier. He kept laughing, kept going over the punchline. It was funny, sure, but I was literally trying to close the door between us, a forced smile aching on my cheeks. We had to be at dinner in just half an hour and I needed to shower. I would sacrifice all that time for Oliver, but I was sure I smelled of sunscreen and sweat. I needed to rush under the hot water, and then rush into his arms.

“Ha! Can you imagine? What kind of-” Max kept going.

I faked another laugh, positive that one of my eyelids was winking shut, visibly displaying the max level of insanity that I felt right now. I took another step back into my room, preparing to bid farewell.

Luckily, Max caught sight of the time. “Holy shit, Daz,” he looked up from his watch, “it’s so late! Sorry to cut our wonderful day short, but we better hit the showers before everyone wonders where we’re at.”

“Ah! Good idea!” I bumped the heel of my hand against my head, shock on my face. Then, I pushed up onto my tiptoes to give him a short kiss to the cheek, “Thank you for today. I really just had the best time ever! Love you, Max!”

Then, as he began to respond, “Aw, darling, me, too! I love you-” I shut the door on him, “Oh- yep! I’ll see you in a bit!”

The speed at which I moved through that hotel room was sure to rip the carpet up off of the floor. I kicked off my sandals, sending one right into the window. It made a loud clanking noise, which I flinched at, before landing on Sam’s bed. But then I was already moving onto my sundress, tearing it off, ripping my swimsuit down my legs, over my head. Once those were off, I jumped in the shower, grateful that I didn’t need to wash my hair so I could do a quick rinse.

I was back out of the shower as quickly as I’d gotten in, doing my hair up into a claw clip, pulling on an outfit that didn’t require much thought, but was still concise enough to be cute. I barely had my phone and purse in hand before I was shooting across the hall, like a chicken crossing the road.

Oliver opened the door before I could even take a breath, tugging me in by my hips.

He had my back pressed up against the door, one of his spare hands already holding the base of my throat like a goddamn rosary. His dark eyes stared down at me, hungry, like he was about to consume every inch of my flesh. I went to say something, brows already lifted on my face in their devious position. In the process, my hands fished for him, grabbing at his shirt.

In one easy moment, Oliver grabbed both of my wrists, stretching my arms up and above my head. He squeezed my throat, ensuring my eyes were on his. My back arched from the movement, my chest pushing through the air as a small whine escaped my lips subconsciously.

Oliver drug his eyes down my body, smirking pleasedly at the movement he drew from my body. “We have five minutes. Shut the fuck up and be a good girl for me, yeah?”

“Okay.”

We weren’t really being realistic about how much time we would get together.

Two minutes later, Oliver was on his knees below me, his large hands bruising either one of my thighs, my hands were entangled in his hair, my underwear were somewhere far across the room, and his breath was ghosting my core. Just as he inched painfully, teasingly closer, someone was knocking on his door.

It was my turn to hide as Adam and Cyrus ushered Oliver from his hotel room, excitedly telling him about some new song they’d just heard. After ensuring in the bathroom mirror that I didn’t look disheveled, I watched through the peephole as they neared the elevators. Oliver peered over his shoulder, the smallest of smiles on his lips. I rolled my eyes. Of course he’d find it funny- he was winning again.

Then, when the hallway seemed clear, I quickly left his room and tried to casually make my way down to the dining room.

Oliver was trying not to laugh, I just knew it- his lips were pressed together, a humored look in his eyes as he pretended to be occupied with the potatoes he mashed around with his dinner fork. I glared at him as I approached the table.

Then, Sam was talking to me, asking me and Max about our busy day and I had to pretend like their best friend hadn’t just been on his knees for me.

This was killing me.

Surely, I thought to myself as dinner came to a close and everyone began heading to bed, surely we would find the time. Surely our luck wasn’t that bad. We’d get some time alone- we just had to.

So, as the elevator that Sam, Ronnie, and I caught closed, and carried us to the fifth floor, I quickly texted Oliver. I crossed my fingers behind my back, hoping, praying, wishing this would work.

Daisy: soon as Sam goes to bed, i can be over

A heavy heat of anticipation sat right on top of my chest, shooting off butterflies in my stomach, making me breathless when I said goodnight to Ronnie.

I waited, patiently, for about an hour- no, exactly an hour and ten minutes. I waited an hour and ten minutes for Oliver to text me back. I stared at the numbers in the top middle of my phone screen as I pretended to read a book. Then, when Sam lay down and shut off all the lights, I rolled onto my side, the dim glow of my screen filling my corner of the room. My eyes glazed over numerous times while each little number morphed into the next. Slowly but painfully surely, the delightful anticipation began to dissipate.

I really wanted to be chill, to be normal and casual and just…go to bed. Accept that maybe he had fallen asleep, maybe his phone had died. Pretend like there wasn’t a small hole sinking in my stomach.

But, I saw him begin typing forty minutes in.

And then he stopped.

And I still waited another half an hour for him to respond.

He never did.

The next morning, I was able to forget about it.

I focused on the productive conversation we’d had in the bus, the one where he set a boundary with me, where he told me he couldn’t really offer me much in terms of connection or romance. The one where I practically begged him to just have me in whatever way he could.

And, I forced myself to stop worrying about the fact that he never responded. The world, after all, did not revolve around me. I needed to be reminded of that and have patience with him. Besides, I wasn’t going to allow myself to feel that- disappointment. Small bits of heartbreak. This meant basically nothing, right? We were just hooking up, hanging out. It wasn’t that big of a deal, like we discussed.

I’m chill with that.

I ate breakfast with the band, discussing with Ronnie some of the best tourist attractions that she suggested I seek out. Oliver was a little late this morning, feet dragging a bit. When I saw him round the corner to the dining room, I sat up just a bit. He seemed tired as he took a seat at the opposite end of the table, hoodie up, as per usual. He didn’t really touch any of his food, but instead nursed a cup of tea. So, I ignored the sinking feeling that came when he didn’t even look at me.

He showed up. That’s what really mattered.

I tried not to be distracted as Ronnie told me about some sort of monument, but it was a struggle when my concern for Oliver was as relevant as it was. There was just something off about him…and it almost felt like it had to do with us, with me. Or maybe I was just reading into things a little too much. Again.

Everyone else finished up their breakfast before me. So, the group broke off before long, a few headed out the door to the venue, some up to their rooms to grab last minute items. I watched as Oliver straggled behind Adam and Cyrus, towards the elevators. When he first stood to follow them, I tried to meet his eye, tried to shoot him a reassuring, encouraging smile. He evaded my gaze. My shoulders dropped a little.

When they were out of sight, I took my phone out and grappled with texting him. I felt like I should, just to see if he was okay. But, then, the part of me that knew there was nothing serious between us fought against that want. It wasn’t weird, right? If I texted him, just to see how he’s doing?

But, then, come to think of it…he never even said good morning to me. So he probably just wanted to be left alone. I should probably just read the signs he was clearly giving and just provide him with some space. He didn’t need me up his ass at every waking moment, constantly expressing my concern for his every move. Especially not after the conversation we’d just had.

I felt a little insecure, a little worried, going back over every interaction we’d had like I was responsible for a grown man’s feelings. I pushed aside the overthinking my brain was ruminating on and decided to just get up, to just get started with my day.

This thing between us was not going to work out if I overanalyzed his every breath, if I let it all get to me. I needed to chill out- just be chill. Cool.

I headed for the elevators, purse slung over my shoulder. The doors were already opened, so I stepped inside. When I faced forward, Oliver was there, following me in, my name barely a greeting off his lips.

“Daisy…”

“Oliver, hey-”

He interrupted me, lips on mine before I could even take a breath. I was taken aback, just briefly, before getting swept up in his soft touches, his hungry mouth. My purse slid off my shoulder. Oliver’s fingers caressed my cheek, my hip, pushing into me until my back was against the wall.

We kissed until the bell dinged, signaling that the doors were opening up to our floor. Oliver pulled back, quickly distancing himself from me. His chest heaved a little, out of breath from our encounter. His pupils were shot, wide, blown up. I furrowed my eyebrows as I carefully eyed him. I was trying to read between the lines here, but I couldn’t.

And he was gone before I could ask for any answers from him.

I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, rubbing moisturizer into my freshly clean face. Taylor Swift was playing softly on my phone, a subtle soundtrack to my evening routine. It had been another long day of perusing across Europe. My feet ached from the 10 miles I’d walked, my stomach was full from the delicious dinner I caught on the way home, and my brain was buzzing with all of the sights and sounds I’d taken in. I was going to cherish these evenings for the rest of my life.

I had even managed to stop worrying about Oliver, had let the pitiful racing thoughts that had been taking up space in my mind fall away. I was going to be cool about it. I was going to be the chill, casual girl.

What we had, what we were doing, was just hooking up. We hadn’t explicitly agreed on keeping any strings to ourselves, but Oliver had told me he couldn’t really offer any in the first place. And that was okay! It’s not like I needed to be in a relationship anyways. I was going back to school in the fall and I’d probably, honestly, never even see him again after this summer.

Casually hooking up with someone would probably be good for my development, anyways. It would teach me to become more comfortable with my body, to be more patient, to be more understanding. To just chill the fuck out, honestly. Yeah, I’d totally gotten rid of those racing thoughts…ha.

Anyways, even though I wanted to text him, to see what was going on, to see if he was okay, I just wasn’t going to. I was gonna tuck myself into bed, get a goodnight’s rest, and prepare myself for another long day. Focus on me, my happiness, my health.

My plan was going well, too. I fell asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Then, at around midnight, I woke to my phone buzzing on my nightstand.

I lazily brought the device to my ear, murmuring some sort of greeting through half-lidded eyes. “Hello?”

“Come over.”

“What- hello? Oliver?” I sat up in bed, a little jolted by the situation. I spoke in hushed whispers, eyes on Sam’s figure to ensure that he was passed out still.

Oliver’s voice replied in an exhausted tone, “I can’t sleep. Come over.”

I took my sweet time, not wanting to seem desperate, not wanting to be at his beck and call. I pulled a hoodie down over my torso before slipping out of the room. I guided the door shut, flinching when it clicked a little louder than expected. Once I was sure the hall was clear, I headed towards Oliver’s door.

He must have been watching from the peephole, waiting for me to arrive, because as soon as I made it, the door was open and he had his hands on me again. His touch was more desperate than ever before, fingers harsh, tongue rough.

I could barely gasp for air as he gorged on my lips, overfeeding himself. I was growing more concerned for his mental health, considering it seemed like he was displacing whatever he was feeling onto me. I probably already knew what was going on- the stress of the tour, of making the next album, it was all getting to him.

He barely had any time to himself anymore, barely had any chances to breathe, to execute self care. He was overworking himself. He was just exhausted.

I felt guilty kissing him, touching him. It felt exploitive and dirty.

So, when his hands traveled down my body, up under my hoodie, to my pants, I brushed them off of me. I took a big step away from him, reaching out my own touch to keep the distance between us.

“Oliver-” I took a deep breath, trying to ground my dizzy head.

His eyes were bloodshot. He hadn’t tasted like alcohol, so I assumed he must be high. Or he had been crying. I didn’t really know which one.

Whatever exhaustion pooled in his gaze dissipated as it was replaced with worry. He took a small step towards me, palms out in a wary manner. “I’m so sorry- what is it? Are you okay, darling? What did I do?”

My jaw was a little slack, concern drowning my features and tone. “No, no- nothing! Sorry- nothing! You’re good. We’re good. I promise.”

He breathed a sigh of relief as his shoulders slumped a bit forward. “Thank fuck. I thought I hurt you or something.”

“I mean you were being a little rough, but that’s okay,” I managed a breathy chuckle.

Oliver ran hand through his hair, glancing around the room, to his feet, back to me. “Why’d you stop, then? Everything okay?”

“I’m fine,” I emphasized, “I’m more worried about you.”

Oliver sighed, loudly, posture dropping a bit more. He wiped his face as he looked away from me again. “Why?” He sounded annoyed with me.

“I’m not gonna pry, cause I know it’s not my business, but…”

“It’s not,” he cut me off.

I reared my chin back. I thought carefully, choosing my words delicately, as I crossed my arms over my chest, “I know. I know it’s not my business. I just- just want-”

“What?” He spoke impatiently.

“Just want to make sure you’re okay.”

Oliver didn’t respond. He stared at the floor beside my slippers, as though he could bore a hole with his eyes, sink into it, and slip away from this moment. I looked past his head. I didn’t want to pressure him with pervasive eye contact.

Then, after a minute or two, I heard him sniffle. I still didn’t move too much, but ran my eyes over his face. He wiped away a few tears. Oliver bit into his bottom lip, which wobbled around a bit. He didn’t want to give into the emotions overwhelming his nervous system, but he was going to have to.

I couldn’t hold myself away from him any longer. He needed connection, touch, gentleness. So, I walked right up to him and hugged him, tugging his head down into the crook of my neck. I felt his arms squeeze my entire self into him, like an anchor at his shores, calming his seas.

For the next twenty minutes, we stood there, my heart sitting just underneath his own, beating into one another. He didn’t really cry too much, probably unwilling to. I didn’t like to cry in front of others either. It was vulnerable, too vulnerable.

We just hugged each other. I caressed my fingers through his hair, hoping to soothe him, to provide solace. He just squeezed me back, tight as ever. It felt really good. I wasn’t going to pull away first, but he eventually did.

He let out one of those embarrassed laughs, wiped the tears clean off his cheeks, and moved to sit on the bed. I offered a kind smile, but still didn’t say anything. He would come to me with whatever was on his mind whenever he felt ready to.

“Sorry…about- that. Probably, uh- probably weird.”

“Not at all,” I waved him off, moving slowly towards him.

He looked up to me, his palms resting on the edge of the bed, and motioned for me to sit. I did.

“I’m just��just tired,” he shrugged.

I knew it was more than that. I knew that he harbored a lot of negative feelings towards himself, something he had confirmed for me just last week. He held himself up to a crazy standard and, of course, never met those expectations. No human being ever could.

I wouldn’t convince him of this fact, not in just one moment together. But, I could tell him one thing that he probably needed to hear. Something he’d value and treasure for longer than just a moment.

“I’m proud of you,” I spoke softly, turning my head to meet his eyes.

He didn’t say anything. He just swallowed, rubbed his lips together, thought long and hard. Then, he glanced away, brought his eyes back to mine and nodded, just once. I saw the words slot themselves into his mind, stored away for just him to hold onto. I knew he valued my opinion, so even though it wouldn’t fix his issues, it would provide some support. Support was the only way to get to recovery, to healing.

Oliver set his hand on mine, a thoughtful look in his eyes. “When I first met you, you told me you were trying to discover life this summer. To find deeper meaning. The more I get to know you, the more I disagree with that.”

“Oh?” I furrowed my brows. “And why’s that?”

“It’s just not accurate,” he shrugged, “you have so much meaning. You’re…you’re so sweet. And kind. And intentional with everything you do. You put so much goodness out with even just your gaze. I just…”

I stared up at him with, I’m sure, these big dopey eyes. Words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them. “I really like you, Oliver.”

He frowned slightly as he brought a hand to my face, thumb brushing the apple of my cheek. I searched his eyes and couldn’t find the answer needed for what I had said. So, the distant smile on my face twisted upside down, worry lacing my features. Had I gone too far?

“I know, darling,” was all he said.

Moments of silence passed between us.

I knew he couldn’t give me much, but maybe now that my feelings were out there, clear as day, written in the sand, maybe it would help him feel more secure about whatever this was. Maybe he’d jump in with me. After all, I was scared, too. Hell, as of this morning I wasn’t looking for a relationship. But- we could be good together. He could be good for me. I know I would be good for him.

Maybe we could l-

“I don’t know that I communicated this to you well enough,” Oliver went on.

“It’s okay…”

Oliver glanced away, seemingly ashamed of whatever he was gonna say. “I can’t be in a relationship with you, Daisy. I just…I’m not good. I’m not ready. I don’t want to hurt you. I think you deserve better. We’re on different paths- I have a million excuses.”

I don’t know how I managed to avoid the tears because I could feel them threatening me from behind my eyes. But, I did. I put on this facade, acted out the role. Stood, nodding slowly, painting a sweet smile on my face.

“It’s okay. I understand. I’ll just…I’m gonna leave,” I headed for the door.

But, Oliver was grabbing my hand. “I don’t want you to. I know it…it’s so selfish of me, but I want you anyways. We have two more months before you have to go home- so who says we can’t just be casual, have fun for the rest of summer? I’d…I know I can’t ask that of you, but…I’d like that.”

I would hate him for this. I would hate myself for it, too.

But, having pieces of him was better than nothing.

I could push aside my feelings- fuck, I was already getting good at it.

I would be the cool girl, even if it killed me.

Even if it killed us.

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icallhimjoey · 4 months

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so apparently there are some rumers, that joe is dating a girl called kate and that they revealed their realiationship at bfi. I mean I dont care who he is dating, as long he is happy, so am I. But where do those rumers come from?? There is literly no information, just those people saying that they are dating and sending hate mails to kate…

okay, FINE, im going to get into this, tell you all i know, and then that can be it for the questions i keep getting about this, because it really is neverending (and insanely annoying to me) so, lets go

kate is a writer/director who works with/for 'film hub north/bfi network/rianne pictures' as stated in her instagram bio, lives up north near newcastle and is gorgeous

at the london film festival this year she has gone to see hoard

she posted a pic to her insta stories of the Q&A after hoard from her seat in the cinema (like so many other fans did too) and said some nice words about luna and she tagged some people

one of the producers reposted the story into their stories which i think is how people "found" her

kate had a pic taken on one of the bfi red carpets (by herself) AND had a pic taken in a large group, one of who was lorn (lauren quinn - no relation - this is not about her, but people draw conclusions about this too)

NOW

just a couple weeks before, joe made a playlist on his spotify account called "Kate's" with two songs in

so, some girls went 1 + 1 = this is a relationship

kate has red hair and is literally stunning, so they're saying "she's his type, must be true"

kate got messages/insta comments asking about it, she posted a story to her insta that said something along the lines of "this is silly please stop this is my professional account i should be able to post what i want without being harassed i have body dysmorphia pls leave me alone"

went private and then public again shortly after

when i say that there's been 0 actual proof that these two people even know each other, i truly mean that there's 0 proof that these two people know each other at all

if we're just looking at the facts: she's a fan

the end

every time people have been trying to link them up, joe's been pictured/filmed to be by himself

couple weeks ago, kate posted stories to her instagram of her being in malta and, presumably, people started asking questions, because she very quickly went private and deleted the insta stories

she went public again shortly after, and the day that joe was pictured doing a lil food shop in his local tesco's, kate posted a mirror selfie in a lift and behind her, there's an arm in the frame - now, imo, not even close enough to touch her bum, but people went BLACK COAT, THAT'S JOE AND HE'S TOUCHING HER ASS

big sigh

what kate is NOT doing is coming out and denying anything, which is a choice

she doesnt have to do shit, she doesnt owe anyone anything, but to hit the snooze button and ignore everything is definitely a choice

in turn, some girls are taking the no-denying as proof of it being real and have made twitter and tiktok accounts and KEEP FUCKING SENDING ME QUESTIONS THAT KEEP PUSHING THIS TO BE THE TRUTH (they are not nice about it either)

i have yet to see any truth to any of these rumours - to me it feels like a lot of stories being pulled from thin air that some girls find extremely entertaining

i do not

i have no interest in this

don't get me wrong - joe'd be lucky to date someone as pretty as kate, she seems lovely, but i am going to need some actual proof before i just go with whatever some people are trying to sell to me as the truth

please do not reach out to me on anon about this

if you have anything you want to discuss with me, please find me in the tumblr chat messages

thanks <3

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3mcwriting · 8 months

Text

Any Fan’s Dream, Part 23

I don’t know how many of you have noticed but recently my accounts been buggy but it recently got fixed (I think) and here’s a new extra long chapter for u all!!

Taglist: @secretly-sirens, @zeeader, @imdoingathingmom, @x-theolivia, @ainsley-official, @huntress-artemiss, @hoohoohope, @ourgoddessathena, @wiintaersoldier, @vine-enthusiast, @afraidofshrimp, @myfturn, @im-better-than-your-newborn, , @mjaudrey, @igotthisasajokeyetimstillhere, @starr60, @coldmermaidhologram, @daenerysluvrr, @viperchick47, @marvelwomen-arehot, @mynightandstars

"Loki?"

Everyone in the room froze.

Thor was frozen out of shock and disbelief at the revelation that not only was his sibling alive, but that Loki was on Asgard. It wasn't the first time Loki had faked his death so maybe he shouldn't have been as surprised as he was, but he couldn't help it.

Loki was frozen because his big secret had been revealed to his brother--and most definitely not in the most convenient way.

You were frozen for a much different reason. No offense to Loki, but there were bigger things than just his overdramatic death being exposed. In the movies, Loki isn't shown to be alive until Thor: Ragnarok--not only did that happen before then, but it happened a whole year early. Civil War takes place a year after AoU and Ragnarok is two years after AoU, so this had sped it up quite a bit.

Was Odin already on Earth? He had to be if Loki was on Asgard ruling. And that meant that Odin would die in a year and Hela would be released. Out of all the events you wanted to prevent, Hela being freed was the one you felt was the hardest. She was insanely powerful and it's not like you could just keep Odin alive, the bitch was old.

You gnawed on your lip like a rat on cheese, thoughts running wild as you thought of the consequences of Loki being revealed; so drawn into your head, you hardly even noticed the people standing in the doorway.

That is until one of them approached you.

"(n/n)?" A soft voice breathed out. "(n/n), you're here--you're really here. Can I hug you?"

You caught the eyes of the other person standing in the doorway, Natasha looking at you with relief while she ushered Thor and Loki out of the room to give you and Peter privacy.

You looked up, heart jumping at the familiar voice. You met his warm brown eyes, his concern reflected in the depths of the. But it wasn't just concern that filled his eyes, there was something else.

Tears.

"Of course you can," you answered, pulling Peter into your embrace as he sat beside you on the cot.

His arms wrapped around you, leaving you surrounded with a sense of peace. "Are you okay, (n/n)?"

You rubbed his back as his voice shook. "I'm okay, Peter. Promise."

"Next time, I'm gonna be there and- and I'm gonna make sure you don't get hurt." Peter promised, letting the tears fall from his eyes. He didn't want to worry you but..."It was so scary. I thought I'd lost you. You're one of the most important people in my like, you know?"

And that's when you started crying.

You couldn't help it. You had been stressed, sad, and then stabbed, all within the last week. You had missed the days before the Accords when you had trained with Nat and Steve and built all kinds of things with Tony and when you would go back to Peter's apartment and hangout with him.

You were trying to be strong. To be someone who could go up against any opposition and defeat them in the name of the people you cared about. But at the end of the day, you were no Avenger. No superhero. You were just a scared teenager.

"You're one of the strongest people I know," Peter said softly, finally releasing you from the hug. Even as his own face was streaked with tears, he managed to smile at you. "But please don't do these things alone. I'm here for you."

You wiped the tears from your face. "You're an amazing person. I cannot believe how lucky I am to have met you."

Peter pulled you back into a hug, allowing himself to finally relax because you were okay.

Surrounded by his warm embrace and tired from finally breaking down and crying, you allowed yourself to give into your body's desire for rest.

When Natasha came into the room half an hour later, she found the two of you still leaning against each other, Peter's head resting on your shoulder as the two of you slept.

You rolled over, accidentally hitting something. Rubbing your eyes, you managed to clear your gaze before looking at the person sleeping beside you.

Aww...he looks so peaceful...

You moved away from the cot, trying not to wake up Peter as you did so. You felt guilty as you looked at his tranquil expression, wondering if he had really lost sleep because of your decisions. You had done the things you did because you wanted to protect everyone, you didn't want to make them worry more.

You sat up, finally looking away from your best friend.

Wow, he really was your best friend...you'd never had one of those.

It wasn't that you were horrible at making friends or anything, but your life before had been crammed full of studying and making yourself as appealing to colleges as possible. Your parents had only ever pushed you harder and while you knew it was good to want your child to succeed, to them it was more about ensuring that you made them look good.

You'd had the occasional friendly acquaintance and study buddies, but none of them were really close. You'd never spoken about your dreams to them, or given them hugs, or even been that affected if one of them stopped talking to you.

But now you had someone you never wanted to lose.

"You okay, babe?"

You wiped your eyes, realizing that they had misted up while you were lamenting.

You looked at the woman in front of you, allowing a smile onto your face. "I'm good." You stood up and approached her, giving her a hug. "I missed you, Nat."

Natasha hugged you back. "You're crazy. You can't be doing these things. What if you had gotten hurt? Scratch that, you did get hurt. You almost died."

She didn't want to lose you, not when she'd finally allowed herself to care about the people around her.

"I know, I'm sorry." You stepped back. "I just couldn't let the team fall apart--"

"I understand that, (y/n). But please talk to me next time. Or leave a note. You know how bad it was to have you just up and disappear then get a call from Steve that you had gotten injured and might die?"

You looked down, your smile long gone. "I'm sorry."

Her eyes softened and she reached out to tilt your chin up. "I know. I missed you too, (y/n)."

She stepped back. "They said you should be completely recovered in a couple hours."

"Really?" Your eyes went wide. "How? I mean--it wasn't exactly a small scratch. Jeez, Asgard's technology must really be phenomenal. That's amazing." You started thinking about the possibilities, wondering what kind of treatment would heal you so quickly and efficiently that you'd be completely recovered in less than 12 hours after having multiple deep stab wounds.

"Yes, but we're still staying the night." Natasha informed you. "Thor offered and I'd rather you rested for the night before going back."

You weren't about to refuse the chance to have a sleepover on Asgard. "Okay."

"His highness has extended a dinner invitation to all of you." A young man said, standing in the doorway.

Your stomach rumbled at the mention of food. "Awesome. I'm starving."

"Follow me, then."

You and Natasha followed the man, but not before you tucked the blanket around Peter. You briefly wondered if you should wake him up so he could eat, but he deserved to rest and you were sure that you could get food later when he woke up.

You gazed around the palace halls in awe, still in disbelief that you were actually on Asgard. The golden walls, incredibly high ceilings, and the different deities roaming around. You wondered briefly if you would be able to meet Heimdall, but your train of thought was interrupted when you stepped into the cavernous dining hall.

Your eyes practically bulged out of your head as you looked around. The place was big enough to fill several marching bands and all their instruments. How many people ate in this room normally? Anything less than 200 hundred and the space would look empty.

You looked to the only table laden with food, feeling slightly uncomfortable that only one table in the room was being used. With a space this big, shouldn't there be a bunch of people eating?

You and Natasha approached the table, your eyes glancing at the raven-haired one before looking to the head of the table where Thor sat.

"Thanks for saving my life, Thor. Also, how come the room is so empty?"

"Anytime, Lady (y/n)." Thor smiled. "And the room is empty because the majority of people ate about an hour ago. We didn't want to wake you, though."

"Oh." Well now you felt bad. "You guys didn't have to wait. But thanks anyways."

"It is 'no problem' as the Midgardians say," Thor's cheery voice lifting your spirit. "Are you hungry?"

You sat to Thor's right, Loki sitting across from you looking disgruntled. Natasha sat down beside you.

"I am, actually." Your eyes looked over the abundant food, each one making your mouth water.

Thor took a bite out of what appeared to be a chicken leg but about 12 times bigger. "Have anything you'd like! There is plenty to go around."

And he was right.

You dug into the food, picking yourself a variety of the different things set out before you. Each one made you fall in love with Asgard even more. There were gorgeous palaces, amazing people, and some of the best food you'd ever had? It was practically paradise, all you were missing was the rest of the Avengers.

Speaking of...

"Where's everyone else?" you asked Nat.

"They're back on Earth dealing with the exposure of the Accords," Natasha answered. She raised an eyebrow. "You know anything about that?"

"Eh--definitely not." You smiled at her. "I'm glad you came, though."

She smiled back. "Well, someone has to talk some common sense into you and I'm pretty sure everyone else doesn't have any."

While you wanted to protest for the sake of your friends, you couldn't help but agree. When it came to common sense, Natasha was definitely the most capable. Of course, Rhodey was pretty good but you hadn't yet met him so you didn't see why he would come anyways. But at least since Rhodey was back on Earth, he could help deal with the whole Accords mess. You did feel a little guilty about the mess that you left behind when exposing the Accords but it was better than the Avengers being split apart and half of them becoming fugitives.

You took a bite of your food, allowing the robust flavors to invade your thoughts so you could stop yourself before you started stressing again. For most of the meal you were busy stuffing your mouth, surprising yourself at your own hunger.

Thor's voice shook you out of your food-focused haze. "Ah, Lady (y/n) the healing from earlier typically causes the patient to be extremely hungry afterwards. I'm glad to see you eating and healthy." He smiled at you, grin bright and cheery.

You took a moment to swallow your food before smiling back. "About the healing, it's amazing! I don't know what kind of treatments the healers did but they're incredible!"

"Of course they are," Loki scoffed. "We're not some Midgardian hospital."

"Don't diss the hospitals," you said with a frown. "There's a lot of people who work really hard there to save lives."

Loki was silent for the rest of the meal, but his gaze never once left you. He still couldn't quite understand you. Typically humans were easy enough to figure out, but you were puzzling. You seemed to be careless and cheery like some brainless nincompoop but you were much more clever than he initially had given you credit for. You had the eyes of someone who knew more than they should and he couldn't figure out why.

You had told Loki that Thor looked up to him but you said it happened on Sakaar, a garbage planet far too irrelevant to be worthy of Loki's presence. And he hadn't forgotten when you'd told him that Asgard would be destroyed and he should flee to Earth. You talked as if you knew the future.

That wasn't possible, though.

It wasn't that telling the future was impossible, he knew of Asgardians who could do it; but it was a very rare ability and you shouldn't be capable of it. You were a human. Not one of those super-powered mortals like that insufferable Captain but just the same as any other human.

But you weren't.

He couldn't say how, but you weren't normal.

With your craving for food finally satiated, a new craving emerged. You desperately needed sleep. You were full, your mind was sleepy, and your body was sore.

You stood up from your chair at the dining table. "Thank you for the food, Thor-" you yawned, "-sorry, but where are our rooms?"

"Don't worry about it, Thor," Natasha said, standing up. "I'll show her to the rooms."

"Alright." Thor's smile turned fond. "I hope you rest well, Lady (y/n)."

"Thanks, Thor." You sent him a sleepy smile. "G'night Thor and Loki." You waved to them as you left, following Natasha back through the cavernous halls.

You were too tired to take note of the ridiculously large bedroom and instead just threw yourself onto the fluffy comforter on the ginormous bed and sighed as you seemed to be enveloped by it. It was quite possibly the comfiest bed you'd ever laid on and you felt your body relax subconsciously.

Natasha smiled at your drowsy movements, unable to deny her soft spot for you. "Good night, babe. Sleep good."

"Thank you, Nat," you murmured. "You sleep good too..."

And just like that, you were already asleep.

Natasha sighed at the way you were laying on the bed, half your legs hanging off because you hadn't thrown yourself far enough onto the bed. Not to mention the way your face was smushed into the pillows; she was almost worried you'd suffocate.

A loud snore ripped her out of her worrying, making her let out a soft laugh. She approached your sleeping form, pushing your legs all the way onto the bed and adjusting the blankets around you. She smiled at your content expression, placing a soft kiss on your forehead.

It'd been a while since she'd seen you this relaxed, far too long in fact.

With that, she left the room, closing the door behind her.

You took a deep breath in, the fragrant flowers around you making the crisp air smell like spring. You reached out and touched the crimson petal of a large flower, marveling at the unfamiliar plant.

Over half the plants you had encountered while strolling through the garden were new to you, leaving you convinced that they didn't exist back on Earth. Just like normal flowers, there was a large variety of colors and shapes, but unlike normal flowers, none of them seemed the least bit wilted. Not to mention the vibrancy of each and every flower, the colors striking and entrancing.

You continued your walk through the large garden, taking a moment every now and then to stop and look at a particular flower. At some point, you reached a bench that was beneath the shade of a large tree. You sat down, gaze going back to the scenic landscape that surrounded you. At one edge of the garden was the palace, although it was hard to look at with the afternoon sun bouncing bright rays off the golden palace.

You looked down, eyes landing on the two scars in your upper arm.

They weren't very large but the raised skin was definitely noticeable. Although, considering what had happened, it was a miracle that all you'd ended up with was two nickel sized scars in your arm and one on your side. The fourth claw that had hit you had cut you but when it was healed no scar remained.

Looking up, you almost shit yourself, noticing the deity who had just appeared beside you.

"What the fuck, Loki. Who do you think you are, Batman?" You said flatly, your momentary shock fading. "You could've said something; after all, you never seem to have a problem with talking."

"Perhaps I just wanted to see your reaction," Loki sniffed haughtily, his pretentious expression fading when he saw you were grinning. "What? Why are you smiling like an oaf?"

"So what you're saying is that you came out here just because you wanted to see me-" you put a hand over your heart, "-that's so nice of you, Loki!" You were teasing him, but you were happy that he had come out to see you. He seemed to have some sort of fondness for you and you were a Loki simp so of course you were grinning that he'd come just to see you.

He spluttered. "What are you, deluded? Why would I concern myself with an insignificant mortal?"

Even to your ears it sounded like he was trying to convince himself.

You pat him on the back. "Don't worry, hotstuff. I won't tell anyone.

"What does that even mean?" Loki huffed. "You humans and your absurd slang."

"Hotstuff? Oh." You had just assumed he knew what it meant but that was probably stupid on your part because he wasn't from earth. "It just means like, attractive person, I guess? That's the best description I can think of."

Now he looked smug again. "So, you think I am attractive?"

"Duh," you deadpanned.

Loki's face flushed, seeming shocked toward your easy admittance.

"That doesn't mean you aren't a smug asshole sometimes," you added. "But it's cool, at least you're funny."

He was indignant. "Take that back! I am a king and you should give me the respect that comes with that title!"

"As far as I'm concerned, being a king doesn't automatically make you deserving of anybody's respect. You still have to work for it, just like everyone else." You dragged a finger on the stone armrest before meeting his eyes. "All jokes aside, I hope you remember my warning."

Loki stiffened, face going to neutral. "Your preposterous claims that Asgard will be destroyed?

"I know how it sounds but I'm telling the truth." You could see the skepticism in his eyes and you sighed, knowing that if you didn't manage to convince him soon, you'd have to tell him something. "You know how you called me a 'fortune-teller'? You weren't completely off. I know some things I shouldn't and I'm trying to change them. Please, you don't have to trust me, but can you just keep my words in mind?"

Loki had known there was something off about you, even if you had tried to deny it up until now. From your answers when he'd first encountered you, to the warnings you'd given him, and the way you always were so relaxed in his presence. You'd proved time and time again that you knew a lot about the things he'd done and yet you still acted like he was an old friend.

And now you were admitting that you weren't normal, that you knew more than you should.

He knew he shouldn't, but he believed you. "I will keep your warning in mind but be forewarned, I will figure out how you know the things you do."

You gulped, the first time you'd seemed to take his words seriously. You had admitted to knowing things that weren't possible for you to know. If he ever figured out the truth...well, you didn't think you could handle going back.

"How was the garden?" Natasha asked as Thor led you, Peter, and her across the rainbow bridge.

"It was...interesting," you managed, unsure of how to answer her given your conversation with Loki.

"I bet it was," Peter's eyes gleamed. "We're on an alien planet! Think of all the different plants and animals and--gosh I wish I had woken up."

You ruffled his hair. "C'mon, Pete, you needed the rest."

The four of you entered the dome, a person awaiting you there. You almost gasped, recognizing who it was immediately.

Heimdall.

"This is where we part ways," Thor said. "I am glad you are better now, Lady (y/n)."

"Thanks, Thor. But why aren't you coming with us?"

He smiled. "I have some matters to resolve with my brother."

You, Natasha, and Peter all said your goodbyes to him, Peter almost as starstruck by Thor as you had been the first time you'd met him.

Then Heimdall opened the Bifrost and took you all home.

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danvillecheese · 1 year

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why do u think act ur age is fucked

[cracks knuckles] alright. essay time. you asked for it.

I’ve done a similar response to this before here and mentioned something else about it here but I’ll go over it again since those posts are both from a while ago. also bear in mind I haven’t seen aya recently bc I don’t like it. okay let’s get into it

[also im gonna preface this saying maybe i sound very pessimistic but im ranting and its just gonna sound like im complaining because i am. i mean no real malice by the way. im simply a person with a blog.]

first off. they don’t use the show don’t tell as well as they could. in the what might have been montage, sure, they showed potential scenarios and how phineas felt (very briefly) when isa stopped visiting his backyard but it just feels so rushed. I get that they only had like 11 minutes to show it but idk there has to be another way to write it. or just not have it at all idk its just from a writing point of view the whole episode feels rushed and out of place from everything else continuity-wise. why not use little easter eggs planted in the show beforehand? operation crumbcake? pharmacists? meapless in seattle? god theres so many episodes with evidence that phineas liked her back even if he didnt know. just. continuity!!!!

second. why did their friends not try something sooner. it’s not like they didn’t know. like phineas seems to be okay with saying “i wish! i am so in the friend zone there” in front of his friends (that quote alone makes me lose my shit but that’s a whole other point) so clearly they knew about phineas. and isabella also wasn’t quiet about it (source: pnf s1-4). they had like four years of high school to do something and they planned it the day isa left for college? nah its just the least realistic thing ever for me. also them being 18 is like yeah okay maybe the slow burn was worth it and theyre way more grown up (i love a good slowburn) but ohhhhhh my god SURELY their friends were getting sick of them dancing around each other. just me?

third. and I’m sorry to ash simpson but oh my god I hate the character designs like They Would Not Fucking Look Like That. it almost feels like it completely disregards their arcs during the original summer. like yeah child chub disappears over ur teen years but sometimes it stays a little longer! make phineas less twiggy!! make isa look more like her mother! (am i about to redesign them again? whoops)

four. and i know this is no fault of dan and swampy but the show was about to end anyways and yet the entire friend group was paired off into hetero ships?? get fucking real. none of those kids are straight. realistically, i know it was a different time and gay marriage wasnt even legal in the us yet so it wasnt all that common to have queer romance on screen let alone on disney channel but like i said, the show was about to end. what were the disney channel execs gonna do? cancel it? lmao

five. "I am so in the friend zone there." "we are guys. we do not talk about our feelings." WHAT!!! i cant believe this shit is real. these lines of dialogue are canon. what the hell. what kind of message does that even send to younger, impressionable viewers? if ur a 10 year old boy watching that (ok fine maybe that isnt gonna stick with you forever but listen) and you go 'oh its okay to just bottle everything up and not tell my friends about my feelings about anything ever' that is insane! thats not how things should go!! like i get the whole "im so in the friend zone" and yes, this also has to do with the era but like if they wanted to be a more progressive cartoon that kids look up to and enjoy maybe they just. shouldn't have put that whole conversation in.

i barely have any problems with the b plot. in fact id watch the episode just for the kazoo solo. because that plot lines up with the continuity. i can totally see heinz having bowling night with perry and carl and monogram every week! i can totally see perry and monogram retired! and carl running owca and getting payed for it! that all checks out! that one makes sense and works with the canon! if they got that plot so right how did they get the a plot so wrong?

i can answer this question: fanservice. its an awful word, i know. act your age is a fanservicey episode which is why i think it crashed and burned. mml season 2 is rooted in the same issue: doof is very present and takes away from the original plot of the show. like, the one he wasnt even in until the last episode of s1. slightly getting off topic but it is the crux of the issue. fanservice doesnt make for good storytelling. even if it brings in the big bucks. at its core, telling the story the way it should be told is the best one. even if it pisses people off. a good portion of the viewers will still appreciate whatever ending the creators come up with. and no, im not saying phinbella shouldn't have become canon, in fact i really like the ship and all their dynamics, i just think they went about it the wrong way.

as someone who's written and published fic about them getting together in different universes (granted, they were from when i was younger so its mildly terrible. take them with a grain of salt) there are a lot of other ways to tell that story canonically. honestly, i think the best way of doing it was to keep it ambiguous. dont tell that story. let the viewers pick their own ending for phineas and isabella. maybe they dont get together after all. who knows!

thanks for the ask! hope you had fun getting lectured <3

#phineas and ferb #phinbella #act your age #ask #this was fun you guys should ask me more stuff like this #dwampyverse analysis

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freakurodani · 11 months

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top 5 haikyuu moments !! (can be particular scenes or episodes or arcs) :D

OKAY!!! so i had to gather visuals for this one bc i have many feelings about this!! I went for scenes that no matter how many times i watch, they never lose their magic for me, no matter that i know theyre coming, it still takes my breath away and makes me roll around with delight, these most of these i feel like are probably pretty obvious ones, they were meant to be impactful but ough, if they dont tear me up in the best way

SO IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

I mean, what can i say??? what IS there to say?? theyve been teammates for a few weeks at this point, but hinata has given all his trust to kageyama and in turn, kageyama promised to use it to its full potential. its also a promise for their rivalry!! like, okay okay okay think about it, with the context we have with Kazuyo, kageyama has *already* decided that hinata is going to be his someone better! he sees it innately and he wants to draw it out of him, and he's, hes trying to be *hinatas* someone better too!! do u understand *shakes you* do u see what i mean!!! i mean, im sure u do, im definitely not the first person to go insane about this and ppl have probably also said it in a way thats smarter than me but just, ough

its,,,, its,,, the acceptance of it all,,, i just think about how *alone* kageyama must have felt after his grandfather passed, we see and know that hes not good at connecting with people. hes bad at communicating and hes sensitive and he's scared of getting complacent. like, the all youth camp arc and atsumu calling him a goody-two-shoes is kageyama struggling with how he is changing, how hes trying to incorporate the influences he's gotten from his betters, and he cherishes it, but he's also felt like the advice he'd been given didn't also mesh with certain parts of himself. or, thats how i read into it, anyway. he tries so *hard* to be what ppl need him to be, and he's *so scared* of being rejected again. and this is hinata (and the rest of karasuno) telling him "HEY! we like you! we think you're smart and you dont have to shoulder connection all on your own! let us help you connect with us in a way where you feel comfy too :)" and then they talk about how they want communication! and it works!! and i just *rips into a pillow with my teeth*

HINATA'S PERFECT RECEIVE!!!!! so the inarizaki match is probably my favorite?? there are so many good moments but *this?* you wanna see me go insane? do you want smth thatll make me tear up? every time!! its just!!! a beautiful culmination of all of hinatas hard work that he's put into during the year! its his change of mindset! its his growth!! he's fallen a level deeper in love with volleyball and ive fallen a level deeper in love with his character

halo around the moon <3 Tsukki's block, his hard work, his character arc and development and everything is just *chefs kiss*. i remember the first time i watched the show, i,, *hated* tsukishima, and i think we definitely arent supposed to like him at first, but GOD does that turn around!! and this moment just feels so *earned* and *epic* and in the end HE STILL ISNT SATISFIED!!!!! he STILL wanted more!!! this point was worth 100 god fucking damn!!

im talking about the inarizaki match again!! but this time with a focus on Tanaka, who kind of struggled with this match! he was in a low place during it, felt stagnated and lame. Tanaka, as a character, i would say is best characterized by his mental fortitude and stability, funny enough. He's wild, but i think part of his visual design lends that as his base (since he's often compared to buddhas/monks). But in this match, we get more depth, we see him falter and struggle! it takes more than just a slap to his cheeks to get better (tho tsukishima does point out that he gets out of his depression pretty fast) but like, tanaka uses meaningful cognition to break his rut, and its also just like, advice that I've seen used for stuff like any kind of creative block as well. The visual during the animation, he's climbing up the stairs, he's slowing down, he's coming face to face with a canyon, a plateau. He sees two options, give in, or push forward and he picks "the cooler" one, and struggles forward, forces himself ahead! and kageyama backs him up too, by not letting him back down, assuring him that his usefulness hasnt reached its end and AUGH I LOVE A TEAM YALL

okay thank u so much for the excuse to ramble about haikyuu moments that mean everything to me <33333

#conspiracy lvl: ask #hq!!#kageyama tobio #hinata shoyo #tanaka ryuunosuke #tsukishima kei #long post #haikyuu!!#haikyuu meta

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idealspawn · 1 month

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hey..... i must say. this has been the best week of my life. and im filled with utter joy. ive had like a.. rebirth? every once in a while i feel like im born again. the transition is really emotional but they are moreso growing pains than destructive pains. im suddenly surrounded by so many great people and possibilities and i finally feel like life is rewarding me, treating me the way i should be treated. in a way im reluctant to owe it to "faith" and see myself as a passive subject rather than an active agent in this but in a way i think i am powerless in some factors regarding this change. next month its my debut in like a culture (?) newspaper! at least they said they are very interested in my analysis but i havent heard back yet about the second version i sent them. i wrote my favourite poem ive ever written. and ive seen so many movies recently that have served as this transitional border. like as this extremely active sphere of both "death" but also birth. like metaphorically. ive been so vulnerable and i love it. ive cried my eyes out like i havent in such a long time and done like... meta analyses about my underlying beliefs to bring change and new energy into my life. you see.. i get really stuck on like.. nominal labels. at first they describe me but it tends to go unnoticed when it no longer fits or serves me and im only living a certain way just because of this nominal structure. but all these nominal structures are made for us. not that we are made to fit them. ive re-evaluated things now.. also out of nowhere people have been reaching out to me. maybe it truly does show up in my energy when im more open. like that it attracts other open, honest, vulnerable people. ive met so many new people and truly felt seen. this is a big thing for me. for the longest time ive struggled to enjoy time with people because ive struggled to find people who i share some kinds of values. i like diverse people but for example people who are open to explore communication on an emotional and relational level rather than only informational. thats important to me. ive been more confident in sharing my opinions too:) and participating in class and in life. going to places where i know id feel a bit uncomfortable and end up surprised. going to places alone is massive for me. it opens me up to new people and experiences because i simply dont have a choice to close myself off with friends im already close with. a woman came to talk to me after a lecture. she said she had been watching how i take notes in class (i write really fast.. i tend to transcribe literally everything the professor says). she said she has studied palaeography and asked to see my notes to analyse my handwriting :) she said its very unusual for people to still write in cursive if they write with the pen very much pointed upwards, however i manage to do so :D. it really made me want to also just reach out to people... like whenever and for whatever reason. and ive noticed people actually like talking to you when youre authentic and awkward. ive restricted my communication with people SO MUCH only due to the fact that i feel like i might not be insanely flawless in my self-expression. the nature too. the season is such that i see birth and death all around me. and its very refreshing. i like seeing change and being reminded of it constantly. it feels liberating. its a season that many people dislike in my country but im in love. i love people. i love physical touch. i love eye contact. i love emotions. i love ideas. i love agency in breaking boundaries. i love feeling seen and important and useful. i love authenticity and vulnerability.

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creativebrainrot · 4 months

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open journal entry

most of my holiday depression isnt like- im not feeling it right now. but its still kind of there. im still extra sensitive atm to all the gunk ive talked about before.

but its nice to be distracted by Life Things(tm) from all that tv static in my head.

I do wish i could more easily eradicate all thoughts of,

"they all have someone better than you" "you aren't special to anyone" "you'll never be someone's favorite" "you are not wanted"

All of those thoughts hurt like hell like my heart is getting ripped out of my chest. that kind of hurt. no matter how many times i think them. it hurts like new.

but like i said in a previous journal entry, that, conviction that all those thoughts are actually true and real, it just takes time for it to be revealed it was true the entire time, and i am the only exception to kindness and good will. It goes so deep idk how to unlearn it. i think for now at least i have no choice except to just learn how to live with those thoughts (hate. but therapy expensive and annoying and difficult. so. Later(TM))

my point was.

theres a lot of. tv static up stairs right now. I wish i could just turn it off and act like everything was normal.

but it isnt normal right now. and im gonna have a lot of times where I need to just hide away in DMs and not talk to anyone except people i already know.

i'll probably go through this next december too.

it doesnt end or turn off. I will have trouble with the holidays probably for the rest of my life but i WOULD like to enjoy new year's again :(

I kinda wish it was more acceptable to ask for validation/reassurance? like it's so weird to me that's not "socially acceptable" or that its like "weird" to ask "hey we're still good right?"

because: "(the worms in my brain have been torturing me for the last week and I need to know that we're still chill directly from you sorry)"

and thats insanely difficult to work through on my own without any external reassurance but oh my god id rather gnaw my own foot off than deal with being ""too autistic"" to any of my friends.

(NOTE!!!! i know for a fact that three of my closest friends would be completely fine and very understanding if I DID ask them that question/need reassurance ily guys <3)

idk man. brain. difficult. life hard. /positive

excited for the stability we'll have next year though oh my god i love the city holy shit this everything my previous shitass house wasn't oh my god i am so happy i would love to make this place specifically work out if it doesnt thats fine but holy shit i wanna stay here man

also. financial insecurity. (derogatory.)

Overall: 8.9/10 we are doing great and so are the pets. I wish we could re home katey but a big nervous anxious old dog is A Lot and no one has been able to take her in. I can tell it weighs on my dad that no one can take her in and love her. let alone how much it hurts to rehome an animal at all, even when itd be better for the animal too.

anyway we're doing well, i want my schedule back i have friends to bother with oc ship nonsense (/affectionate) again and i have things i need to get out of my brain but I Can't!!!!! [legoyodadeath.mp3]

#creativelyrottedmind #rotthoughts #open journal #many thouhgt. woahg.

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tea-and-secrets · 3 months

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god i think i might be asexual but i really dont know. i am so scared and i know thats stupid because i know and love so many asexual people and i dont think theyre weird at all but like. god idk. the thought of having actual sex with someone im committed to in a romantic or platonic capacity (or, hell, even someone im not!) is horrible, genuinely. this could be all the trauma talking and i dont know how to tell the two things apart and i dont meet with my therapist for another two weeks and im going insane. ive sort of stumbled into a situationship with my best friend and they kept calling me sexy tonight and sending me mildly suggestive pictures and videos and i just. i felt so anxious the whole time. i still do. they told me about all of their kinks and i smiled and said "oh that sounds fun" or "mm that ones not really for me but gw'an!" but internally i was terrified and i dont know why. and i just. theyre monogamous and have decided that we are The Relationship and that we were divined in the stars but like. i dont even know if i like them romantically let alone sexually. i dont know if i can provide that for them. kink and sexuality have always been such a huge part of my internal identity and while thinking about hypothetical sex is great i just cant stand real stuff. i dont know. im scared. i wish i could be a kid again and not have to worry about this but im a grown ass man.

#long post

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sheepinthebigcity · 1 year

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okay fine. ALL OF THEM. GO.

YOU'RE INSANE (am i even in that many fandoms)

the character everyone gets wrong

mad ducktor. enough said

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

i'm presuming they meant dom or sub in this regard anyway i feel like all my faves are like lame ass switches and honestly i am SO tired of seeing them as always dom. boring behavior.

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

honestly i'm just tired of seeing takes in 2023 about my girl faves and how they're annoying and get in the way of either yaoi ships or selfships...

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

not to go back into ducks again but i remember when the animaniacs reboot dropped i made a mutual with this super annoying person on twitter who kept talking about yakko warner and milk and about a week later an acquaintance of mine asked me how long i knew them and then said "we think that your new mutual is cannedtins"

5. worst discord server and why

im not in bad discord servers im normal 0:-)

i do have a lot of osc and em servers muted tho <:-D

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

a looooooot of shippers are annoying LOL. as far as not freak ships go, i sure do have a lot of hate in my heart for fenro... but are fenro fans annoying.... idk. i curate myself a lot.

WAIT NO JOIKE GOD THOSE GUYS ARE SO ANNOYING

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

i CANT just say mad ducktor again.... but honestly? 4 and X bfdi.....

9. worst part of canon

closing time being canon to catch 22

10. worst part of fanon

i hate when fanon unanimously agrees on a gender and sexuality headcanon for a character especially when it's one i relate to and i could make their gender and sexuality so so so so much weirder...

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

at least a dozen? i dont like a lot of popular fandoms.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

i feel like all my unpopular faves are unpopular for good reason. i may not like the reason but im alone in my happiness.

anyway fanny bfb you should like her because she has a rough exterior and a soft interior.

13. worst blorboficiation

the guys from one but i dont mind too much because it's one.

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

i see a lot of x reader shit and it always feels like every reader is like. the same 19 year old girl. and man we're different in every way.

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

cat ears

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

honestly i guess i get it bc they're both protags but spifan... it's kind of... BORING to me! no offense to ppl who do like it but i find myself more into prufan and pacome x zorglub....

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

sheep in the big city fic and art that doesn't suck

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

honestly i'm in so many fandoms where there's a hero x villain old man ship and in SO MANY OF THEM it is ignored.... SAD!

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

let's just say there's a certain ship that goes against so many of my principles and yet i've shipped it for over a decade and got good friends to ship it too and leaf it there

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

whatever the hell fireafy was doing in nubfb

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

clive dove professor layton. unwound future has better aspects

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

i think ppl should pay more attention to misa in death note

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

i used to hate mei x red son from monkie kid and now it's my top otp LOL

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

"stop watching kid shows" these ppl aren't watching kid shows they are JUST watching owl house if they were wathcing kid shows i'd have someone to talk about rocketeer 2019 with

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master-of-fluff · 2 years

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Alright take some avm/ava hcs @hobo-dragon

The reason there are citys and towns of stick people is because the avm world is similar (not the same, similar) to wreck it ralph and toy story.

As such all the non allan made stick people have parents/family of some kind (I haven't had the time to really flesh this hc out but I will later) and ig Vic, SC, TCO, and TDL are all allans children tho i don't know if you could call them related or not...I'll figure that out later

Also the human ear cant hear the sticks talking but dogs can.

Everyone likes collecting weird looking mugs, they have over 50 now and once a week there's a contest over who found the weirdest looking mug this week, winner gets to drink out of said weirdest mug first.

Red and Blue regularly go hiking together, Red to watch wildlife and Blue to forage, and also to spend time together.

Blue has an insane amount if herbology books and can definitely kill you with the herb knowledge they have.

Red watches wildkratts and if your nearby you will get dragged into watching it with them. Red also has so many animal stuffies you cant see his bed

Green and SC are always the last two standing when it comes to just dance the others usually tap out at around the same time

SC and Green can continue for hours though and whenever the others get bored they start a game of throwing small objects at whoever's winning (usually pennies or acorns)

Red, Yellow and Blue also have a point system based on where the penny/acorn lands on whichever stick is the current target.

"Yes we did have to bring Purple into the game no it wasnt unessecary shut up SC"

SC will not hesitate to steal your clothes if you leave them outside your room. Ze sees a hoodie on the couch and Yoinks it.

Red and Blue sleep in literally the most uncomfortable and disturbing looking positions.

Also red moves a lot in their sleep, if anyone sleeps over in thier room either you sleep on the floor or you'll end up there at some point anyways.

You'd think being alone and taking care of his mom purple would know how to cook. She doesnt! do not leave zir in the kitchen unsupervised under any circumstance! Ever!

Purple however is the only one aside from yellow that knows how to save and budget and isn't a spend drift

as such yellow and purple are the only ones in charge of shopping and if anyone wants to buy something over 20$ one of them need to be consulted first

Red has a job at an animal shelter and somehow convinced everyone to volunteer there under him once a week

everyone uses mango's name as a curse word (they do it twice as much if mango is in the room and thrice as much if they see them in public)

Purple and Blue garden together. No ones really sure when they started they just regularly do it now.

Stupid nicknames everyone has for eachother: -beware i am a slut for nicknames- (also I'm sure you can figure out which names are casual and which ones were given specifically to be annoying)

Blue- blueberry, tree hugger, muffin man.

green - doot doot, tree, avocado, minum, quaver

yellow - Bill Nye, sunshine (always said sarcastically in the morning because yellow is not a morning person) LoLo (llow llow? Idk how I wanna spell that yet) other tree/tree 2

red- cardinal, imposter, sussy child.

SC- Jesus (but spanish pronunciation) cheese puff, Sec, Mom

Purple- birb boi, kiddo, teh child™

"Im not small" "yes you are!"

TDL - cherry, tomato, boomer 2, meemaw

TCO- sparky, boomboom, peepaw chosen, old person, cool boomer,

mango - moldy orange, nasty couch cheeto.

In case you cant tell due to the fact that purple and the color gang had no supervision and full access to the internet they are all memelords/gen z kids

#these aren't all of them #But this post is already too long #avm #animation vs minecraft #ava shorts #animation vs animator #hobo I feel like a student calling the teacher to grade their work tagging u lol #also love how iv been in this fandom less then a week and already have like 80 Headcannons lmao

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daphnedauphinoise · 1 year

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hey daph! im sandri, do u have any tips on how i can lose weight and look more attractive, im on my awkward phase rn being 14 and all. do u have any tips on how i can diet w my asian family being all "oh u eat too much" "oh why arent u eating"?

and any tips on how to have bouncy hair (after a chemical straightening, my hair used to be wavy but my mum had it chemically straightened)?

thanks daph, much love -sandrinn 💌

You are literally a baby. To be honest, if you are eating an asian diet of pretty much any asian cuisine, your diet is fine. Remember, food is always okay and it be better to be full than to be hungry. I am not suggesting you do a calorie deficit at all, you are in your crucial physical development phase and you are going to school, you need your fuel. There is a difference to mindlessly snacking and eating. If you snack a lot I want you to note when and why you do this. Snacking is not necessarily bad but its just that you predecessor to stacking on the weight. You are growing at this period of time, your body is changing in many ways and at this point you need to help it and nuture it. I really don't reccomend dieting to anyone let alone a child. The issue at hand and most of is with this generation of everyone, you probably not exercising enough. Some crazy stat in the UK came out that that we spend 90% of time indoors which is ridiculous. I am fully aware that there are many things to do indoor which probs were factors in this state, but you need to be getting out. At this age, if you want to lose weight my recc is losing it through walking. Not only are you being active but you are getting fresh air, you are being stimulated through nature (very different from artifical stimulation) and you are getting vitamin D. Try and get your 10k steps everyday. And if you are up for it, do a home workout couple of times a week. Like I said you are very very young, there needs to be a bit of changing your body into what you want and just letting it do what it needs to do.

The key here is to be sustainable,which diets rarely are. You need to look to doing a lifestyle shift. I understand wanting to lose weight and tbh it is easier to do it younger than older, but doing fad diets, going to the gym and doing insane workouts is not okay for you becuase you are so young.

Hair - just let your hair be for a while, no more heat or minimal heat and use treatments. GIve yourself some recovery time.

x d

#you ask daphne answers #this really is a no minor blog eventhough i dont say but i will answer this once

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luminberry · 2 years

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The fic you wrote with g/t pred Hofn4rr is one of the best things i have ever seen fr. He was so cute in that and you wrote him so perfectly. If you're ever in the mood for it i would love to see a continuation of it where he shrinks and eats Phob0s to end his reign of tyranny like the ending hints at. The entire last paragraph and the line "Seeing the "good" Director Phob0s perhaps taking a sudden and unexpected leave of absence might be beneficial" just made me so excited for a possible continuation. Thank you for all your hard work and for sharing it with the community

Im dying at this level of outta left field flattery cause flgjh I dont think I do that much for this niche community?? but aaa fuck.

So..yeah jus for u anon u get a continuation.

It had been several months since the minor accident in the lab that one day, but the entire experience itself hadn't strayed far from Hofn4rr's mind in the slightest. In fact it had resurfaced somewhat in recent weeks considering the state of things in the N3xus C0re facilities.

Director Phob0s had started to cut funding like he had threatened and gave what he and Dr. Christ0ff had worked so hard to create to a undeserving idiot, Dr. Crackp0t while a good worker most of the time, was determined to kiss up to their Director at any turn. Even when his proposed project was borderline insane and completely dangerous.

Not to mention Dr. Christ0ff absolutely despised the man and grew irate when their new coworkers nasally prideful voice came into earshot. Dr. Hofn4rr didn't like it either, nor did he care for the direction Phob0s was pushing their work...

One night several weeks ago, he had made the choice to show Christ0ff his discovery away from prying eyes. Christ0ff was at first stunned at his discovery..before a plan had begun to form. Both of them had long decided the good Director had long since lost track of his cause in favor of grasping power not meant for their kind. His ego had destroyed what little good their work had tried to establish in this horrible world and frankly both had thought it time for him to step down.

Hofn4rr was relieved Christ0ff shared his thoughts so readily, almost surprised at how eager he seemed to enact the plan they both were developing over the course of the night...But then again he knew how the other doctor felt, being used and abused so much could only spur them both to end the cycle.

The next morning would see them both in the lab discussing things, the plan was simple..as most best things were..The simpler the better as far as either of them were sure. Dr. Crackp0t was not going to be a problem, he had taken the day off after his reports the day before had "greatly pleased their Director enough to reward him with time to rest and a hefty wage to spend on research".

Christ0ff had quietly asked they remove Crackp0t next once they had finished with Phob0s..to which Hofn4rr could only laugh a little bit under his breath. He'd let Christ0ff do the honors, but after the Director made him unwillingly take a life so many months ago, alongside destroy so many countless others..he'd handle the deed himself.

The Director had informed them that their monthly review would begin shortly, he sounded ungodly smug as he announced it..countless other scientists looking away hurriedly...They all knew what was going to happen to the senior pair by now, the rumors had been flying around for months as their progress seemed to only get worse and worse as time went on.

"Those two held so much promise for this company. Quite unfortunate this may be their last week working under me.. Perhaps I'll make use of them on other projects. Perhaps I'll make that unruly Dr. Chris0ff a errand boy so he learns his place underneath me where he belongs... That other pathetic one will be of better use elsewhere, Dr. Crackp0t said he needed extra hands did he not? I'll give him to the good Doctor then.."

Director Phob0s walked alone in the empty halls, no one wanted to be present for the dressing down he was preparing for the remains of the Sleepwalker Program. They had been given ample time to show improvement and copious funds to do so. And yet neither of those two incompetent scientists had given him any good news.

Well today he'd be the one to give unfortunate news..Or he would if it wasn't for Dr. Hofn4rr opening the lock doors with a almost manic grin and welcoming him with more energy than he remembered the timid doctor ever expressing..

"Director Phob0s what impeccable timing sir! W-we've made an amazing breakthrough at last! Y-you won't believe what's happened."

That...well that was not what he was expecting. But progress was always good and he had to admit he was greatly curious what breakthroughs these two had achieved.

"What is it Dr. Hofn4rr? You seem almost elated to see me for once.."

"Of course I am sir! We've solved the two soda cans problem at last!! We can proceed with phase two safely at long last, the transfer of S3lf is stable finally!"

"What-? You've stabilized the procedure after all this time? What did you two do?"

"I can't explain it in words sir, you have to come see it yourself, it's beyond anything I've hoped for! We've done what no other thought possible after so many years sir!"

Director Phob0s had long forgotten his plans of firing the two of them, if what Hofn4rr said was true he'd grant them anything either of them could want..His gloved hands shook from the excitement of such a breakthrough, they had been trying for years now to solve the riddle the universe presented them.

"Come this way sir, it's only stabilized for a few short seconds but with time we can strengthen the foothold we've made and more!"

"Yes yes, you both finally are of use to me..Now show me what you've both have been doing."

"Y-yessir, just watch that far wall there with the markings. You won't believe it until you see it. I'm firing up the sequence now."

It was...almost too easy to get Phob0s to do what he wanted, of course he was known as nothing more than a feeble and spineless grunt..He'd be the last person to suspect turning a weapon on their dear Director.

Of course Dr. Christ0ff knew the truth of how he really felt. Years and years of verbal abuse and watching his life's work being warped and twisted unfairly..Well it does something to even the kindest of people.

The doors were locked via only one keycard, the highest security in the building aside from the Directors sole override card. So no one would bother them when the plan started. It only took a single password to turn Phob0s into anything but a threat in a flash of light.

"What was that just now..? Nothing's happened, I demand a explanation this instant Dr. Hofn4rr.....Dr. Hofn4rr?"

The ringing in his head alongside the overwhelming brightness that assaulted his vision both finally faded, leaving Phob0s with a chilling discovery. There wasn't a rift like he had expected, instead a endless white expanse.

"What is the meaning of this?? Where are you two?"

"Right here Director."

Looking around, the cold dread lurking on the fringes of his mind snapped home when Phob0s looked up to suddenly spot a toweringly tall figure..The titan looked and sounded just like Dr. Hofn4rr only..something was vastly different. He didn't like the look the other was leveling down at him.

"Dr. Hofn4rr what the hell is going on here? I demand answers immediately for what you've done to me."

"O-oh it's simple really, I've shrunk you."

"Well undo it this instant. I will not stand for this absurdity a moment longer from you or Dr. Christ0ff, the both of you will be lucky to find jobs as janitors once I'm finished with you!"

"Sh-shut the fuck up already you disgusting insect."

"W-what? How dare you talk back to me in such a crude manner?"

"A-alright then, let me make it p-plain for you then. I'm n-not doing shit for you anymore. In f-fact I'm calling the shots now."

As he talked, a massive hand came to scoop the miniscule Director up in a harsh grip. The way he writhed and cursed brought a grim smile to Dr. Hofn4rrs face. Dr. Christ0ff walked over to inspect their formerly menacing supervisor with a look of awe.

"You were right Dr. Hofn4rr, it was alarmingly easy to get him into place..I didn't think it possible for someone of his size to be reduced to such a scale.."

"Unhand me damn you! I will not stand for this mockery of your Director!"

"As I s-said earlier, you have no power here anymore. In fact you won't be here anymore fairly soon once I'm done with you sir."

Hofn4rr grinned in a way that made even Christ0ff briefly pause in concern, Phob0s on the other hand went dead still as he was raised towards that malicious grin.

"I h-hope you'll be a better meal than you were a Director..Either way it's long past time you were e-excused."

"W-wait what? No don't you dare Hofn4rr! Release me this instant-wait wait! Stop!"

Phob0s's pleas were met with silence before being unceremoniously dropped into Hofn4rrs awaiting open mouth. The small form bounced as he hit the wet tongue awaiting him before vanishing behind a solid click of teeth a second later.

The muted voice of their once Director was heard ramping up in panic and rage as Hofn4rr moved him around the inside of his mouth, getting a oddly rich and decadent wine taste the longer he kept them. However he was honestly growing tired of hearing and feeling the tiny directors protests and tilted his head back to finish the miniscule nuisance off at last.

One or two thick swallows was all it took to send the former Director Phob0s to where he was going to spend his last hours, Hofn4rrs stomach.

"H-huh..Well that went alot easier than expected don't you think Jeb?"

"Indeed..I must admit I'm surprised you were able to do it with such ease."

"W-well we've been dealing with him ruining our lives and o-our work..I'd d-do anything to get rid of the p-problem. Though..I admit the t-taste was not what I was e-expecting."

"Really now? He had taste?"

"E-exactly! He had a t-taste of the finest wine I've ever drank..quite peculiar. But refreshing compared to the bad taste he left in my mouth after years of his verbal abuse.."

"Well hopefully he doesn't..make you ill Dr. Hofn4rr...We should get to work covering our tracks before those who were loyal to the Director start to suspect."

"Of course! I-I've already reworked the recordings in here last n-night! They won't think we did anything until it's too l-late. We'd still need to take care of his u-underlings before the day's finished."

"Good, I'll work on summoning Dr. Crackp0t next. He won't suspect a thing. Though I admit I'm not looking forwards to literally stomaching him."

"It's not that b-bad once you get them down your th-throat.. Speaking of..the former Directors made himself at home finally..L-let's get to work then Dr. Christ0ff."

The two shared a grin before moving to enact the rest of their plan, Hofn4rr keeping a hand on his midsection that now held the once feared Phob0s inside. The miniscule grunt had realized he had been played unfairly well..he wouldn't escape this it seemed and nothing would make his devourer release him.

Dr. Christ0ff moved to call up Dr. Crackp0t saying the Director wanted him to come to a handing down meeting regarding the Sleepwalker Program..Something the soon to be former scientist would all but sprint to see happen first hand.

Little did he know his beloved Director Phob0s was being taken care of and being set up for a permanent leave that he'd soon be quick to follow.

#mawdness combat #g/t vore #g/t writing #mawedness combat #fatal vore #digestion #unwilling prey #vore story

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