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hypnoneghoul · 19 hours

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if i may request raindrop for day 25? 👉👈

Mushy May '24 Day 25: Sharing a secret comfort item

WC: 540

Relationship: Rain/Dewdrop

Notes: Maybe not fitting the prompt perfectly but idccc, I love newly summoned fish and still water idiot being awkward <3

Read under the cut or on AO3.

Rain does not like it.

He was summoned around two days ago and he’s in misery for no explainable reason. He’s cold and his skin feels wrong and he is really so close to sneaking out through the window—if he’d manage to figure out how it works—finding the closest body of water and hiding in there unless someone would haul him out.

He doesn’t know what’s wrong and he doesn’t feel comfortable asking anyone for help. He’s just met them, he can’t.

So Rain huffs and wraps himself up in a blanket that neither warms him up enough, nor feels good against his oversensitive skin.

He whines and grumbles to himself, tossing and turning in something that’s supposed to be his new nest, but it’s nowhere close to being a cozy one made of rocks and seaweeds that he’s used to.

The water ghoul jumps when he hears a tapping sound on…the door, he thinks. He has no idea what the purpose is and it hurts his ears a little, but it soon stops and the door opens. One of the ghoul’s he knows is his pack now peeks his head in, a shy smile on his pretty face. “Hi!”

“Hello,” Rain answered quietly, hiding behind the covers.

“Dunno if you remember, I’m–” the other ghoul starts, coming fully into the room and shutting the door behind him.

“Dewdrop,” the water ghoul finishes for him. He does remember, Dewdrop caught his eye immediately. “You’re also a water ghoul.”

“That I am,” he confirms. He carries something in his arms, a big bundle. “Freshwater.”

“I like salt,” Rain blurts out. “I mean…I’m–uh, I’m saltwater.”

Dewdrop giggles, but the new ghoul doesn’t take offense. His laugh sounds nice.

“Anyway, I brought you something. Sorry it took me a few days, I wanted to wash it first.” Rain perks up, cocking his head to the side as Dewdrop outstretches his arms to drop the bundle into the other’s lap. He looks down at it with slight confusion and Dewdrop clears his throat, “It’s a blanket. It’s different from what you have there, it’s…more water ghoul friendly. It's special, actually, made for water ghouls, I got it when I got summoned from an older one. It's bigger, softer, and warmer, I know how the normal stuff feels and I’m sorry you had to deal with it.”

“Huh,” Rain replies intelligently. He reaches a hand out to touch the bundle and it is, indeed, so soft he lets out a gasp when he feels it. His eyes light up—his entire face does—and he shuffles around trying to get comfortable. It’s a big blanket, though, and he’s very clumsy out of the water, so he gets…well, trapped, essentially.

“Oh, uhm…lemme–” Dewdrop comes closer and—rather awkwardly—helps Rain untangle himself from the blanket and get under it properly. He puts the other comforters that the new water ghoul got over him to add warmth and only when he pulls away he notices that Rain started purring. It sounds a bit weird, the ghoul obviously not used to doing it out of water, but Dewdrop quickly realizes he absolutely adores it.

When Rain thanks him and snuggles further into the blanket Dewdrop realizes he absolutely adores him.

#hypnone writes #the band ghost #nameless ghouls #dewdrop ghoul #rain ghoul #mushy may 2024

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snowyquokka · 3 days

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MONSOON - L. MINHO

cw - mature themes MDNI, fem!reader, brothers best friend!Minho, swearing, angst, fluff (kinda?), mentions of alcohol, mutual pining, somewhat proof read, yada yada yada

wc - 3k

a.n - I FINISHED IT. im not sure how many parts there’ll be but here’s this for now :)

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Your heart is beating at the same frequency as the music blaring through your ears whilst making your way to the front door of the shitty little run down frat house. You’ve managed to throw back three rounds of vodka shots without puking and you were feeling a bit proud of yourself. But you have enough self respect to know when to call it quits. The cheap liquor did it’s intended purpose. That purpose being forgetting about someone.

Or not.

You roll your eyes drowsily as you push your way through the door and onto the surprisingly somewhat empty porch. Plopping down on the top step, you pull out your phone before pressing the only emergency contact you have.

“Aw you do care enough to call me,” Jisung’s grin is present in his soft voice.

“Mhm, yeah care- sure. Erm, busy?” There’s some muffled laughter in the background followed by some shuffling before he finally answers.

“I- are you-“ he cuts himself off and whispers something incoherent, “Scale of one to ten?” Due to your recent lack of responsibility, as Jisung calls it, he’s set up a scale system to determine how wasted you are.

One being buzzed, tipsy at best.

Ten being, well, absolutely plastered.

“Eight and a h-half?” you hiccup.

More muffled whispers are followed by, “What am I going to do with you.” and “Send me your location,”

After what seemed like an eternity of being surrounded by makeout sessions and college kids blowing chunks into the nearby hedges, a familiar car finally pulls up to the curb.

You stand up, albeit a little too fast, but you still make it to your feet. The sound of a car door slamming rings in your ears, leading up to warm, gentle hands carefully lifting your arm over their shoulder in order to help get in the passenger side of the car.

“Han- Minho?” Big brown eyes stare into yours as he leans over you and buckles your seatbelt. His expression’s blank, but it always is when he looks at you.

Minho looks at you for another moment before shaking his head, as if he’s snapping himself out of a trance, and shuts the door.

It was only about halfway to your dorm that you realized you didn’t have your keys and your roommate was out for the night.

“Ughh.” You whine and Minho eyes you like you’re crazy.

Maybe you are.

Crazy for leaving your stuff at home.

Crazy for catching feelings for your brother's best friend.

Crazy for trying to drown him out of your thoughts with shitty tequila and obnoxious music.

Crazy for actually thinking that you could distract yourself, let alone forget about him.

“Hello? Earth to her majesty.” he pokes your shoulder.

“Fuck off,” Please don’t stop talking to me.

“Ah, see I like bothering you too much for all that,” he glances from the road to your curled up form. Your ‘defensive pose’ as he likes to call it. It’s not the first time he’s seen you absolutely shitfaced.

“Wanna tell me why you’re throwing a fit over there?”

“No key,” you mutter and press your head against the cool glass of the window, reveling in the way it soothes your massive migraine.

“No k- what are you talking about? You went to a frat party with no keys? Are you out of your fucking mind?” Minho lets out a cross between a scoff and a laugh, making you curl into yourself tighter. He sighs softly and prays that Jisung won’t kill him for taking you home with him.

“Why are you smiling like this is funny? None of this is the slightest bit funny. You could’ve been hurt and then I would-” he snaps his mouth shut and grips the steering wheel so tight his knuckles turn white.

There’s a small amount of pressure on your stomach when you wake up and the sound of light purring fills the room. You peek your eyes open cautiously until you spot the orange and white cat resting on your lower abdomen.

“Soonie,” you hum with a smile.

Wait. Soonie?

You sit up fast making Soonie dart off the bed in surprise.

You’re in Minho’s bed. And not for the reason you would’ve preferred.

You’re engulfed in his scent, tangled in his sheets, hair spread across his pillows. You wonder how many girls he’s had here before and mentally gag at the thought.

“Morning,” Minho nods as he sets a tray with a bottle of painkillers and some water on it next to you.

Memories of the night before flash throughout your head and your cheeks flush red with embarrassment while your hands run down your face.

You made a fool of yourself in front of Lee Minho. This is a new low for you, you think.

But then again this isn’t his first time tending to you and your drunken stupor.

Maybe not in his own home, and maybe without you knowing but he’s done it enough to be well versed with handling you.

You down the water along with one of the capsules and wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, trying as hard as possible to avoid Minho’s gaze.

“Better?” He whispers.

No.

“Mhm, fine.”

“Do you wanna talk about it now or-”

You climb out of his bed groggily, “I don’t want to talk about it at all, actually.” Minho does a double take and you realize that your dress slid up your leg and exposed almost the entirety of your legs, dangerously close to your core.

He looks away long enough for you to fix yourself before clearing his throat. “That sucks because we’re going to.” His annoyance is obvious, the tips of his ears pink from being flustered. As much as you really really want to push his buttons, your head is pounding and you feel simply, well - gross.

“I uh- I went and bought you some stuff so you could go shower,” he says, almost as if he read your mind. He rubs the back of his neck nervously with a grimace.

You look at him with a confused expression, “Huh? I’m sorry, I must not have heard you correctly.” Minho rolls his eyes at you. “Don’t argue with me. Just go,” he points to the adjacent door which connects his room to the singular bathroom in his one bedroom dorm.

He pauses and tries to gather this words, “See, the thing is I didn’t really get a chance to get you clothes…” Lie. “So you could just, I don’t know, wear some of mine?” You stop mid walk and turn on your heel to see Minho with a hoodie and sweats in his grasp.“Please cooperate with me for once.” You sigh and hold out your hands for him to place his clothes in them.

“This is the stupidest idea i think I’ve ever heard come out of your pea-sized brain,” you grumble and stalk into the bathroom unbeknownst to the massive smirk adorning Minho’s face.

You were right when you thought you’d look absurd. Of course you were, anyone could look at you and tell you wouldn’t fit in his clothes. You step out of the bathroom, freshly showered and teeth brushed.

You’re practically swimming in his shirt and you had to tie the drawstring on the sweatpants so tight that it was a literal struggle.

“You were in there for an hour.” He deadpans.

“How’d you know what shampoo I liked,” you ignore him and ask as he eyes you. His gaze drags up your body as you run your fingers through your damp hair.

“I don’t know. Lucky guess?” Minho shrugs it off and folds his arms over his chest.

“Okay then,” you roll your eyes and copy his stance. You two stay silent for a solid ten seconds until he finally speaks,

“This is ridiculous.” He says as he glares at you.

“If anyone’s ridiculous it’s you.”

“Me? You’re the one being an ungrateful brat,” he steps closer to you until you’re face to face, “I’m the one who came to your rescue. I could’ve told Jisung no, could’ve said I had better things to do than save you from yourself.”

You shake your head, “Then why didn’t you? I’m obviously just a bother to you, aren’t I? A burden that you can’t wait to be freed of.”

Minho furrows his brows, “Bullshit. That’s complete and utter bullshit and you know it.”

You inch closer to him so your chests are pressed against one another. “Do I, Minho? Because it seems like you only enjoy being a dick to me,” your hands curl into fists at your sides. Never in the four years you’ve know him would you have ever expected to have an actual argument with him. Usually it’s all meaningless jabs at each other, but right now you can tell that it’s more than that.

Minho’s eyes search yours as his tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip. “Don’t fucking do that,” his voice comes out in a harsh whisper.

“Do what?”

“Act like the fucking victim of the situation you put yourself in,” His expression has grown agitated which only pisses you off to no end. You decide you’ve had enough and turn away from him to collect your stuff. “What are you doing?”

“I am going to text my roommate and she’s going to take me home.” You don’t bother looking at him as you speak, grabbing your phone off of the nightstand and typing out a ‘send help’ message to your roommate. Before you could send it though Minho has yanked your phone out of your hands. “Seriously?” You huff. He holds it above his head as you poorly attempt to reach for it.

“No. Until you can have an adult conversation with me you aren’t leaving.”

“What, are you gonna hold me hostage? Tie me up?” You realize that was the wrong thing to say when a smug smirk tugs at Minho’s lips.

“You’d like that too much. Wouldn’t you, princess?” Your breath catches in your throat as you fall dead silent. You’re still leaning against him, using him as leverage to get your phone. “Cat got your tongue? Never thought I’d see the day where you’d fail to find a snarky response. Always need to have the last word, don’t you.”

Your brain is so fuzzy, a mix of emotions jumbling your thoughts around. You slowly stand flat and remove your hands from his arms with palms on fire from the contact with his bare skin.

“You’re a dick.” You say while you take a few steps away from him.

“So you’ve said.” Minho stares at you with ice in his gaze. He slides your phone in the pocket of his hoodie and folds his arms over his chest. “You can go when you tell me why you’re doing it.”

“Doing what?” You say though you know exactly what he’s talking about.

“You are quite literally self destructing. Why?” He narrows his eyes at you, waiting for you to explain yourself. Unfortunately for him, it’s going to take more effort than that to get you to spill.

“That’s none of your business. Now give me back my phone, I want to go home.”

“No. I’m not just going to sit back and watch my best friend’s sister practically kill herself over something that is probably meaningless.” You keep backing up as he walks towards you until you collide with the wall behind you.

How cliche.

“Just tell me so we can move on with our lives. But just so you know, I will not hesitate to keep you here as long as I have to until you help me understand why you’re acting so stupid when we both know that you’re far from it.”

Minho leans in closer, invading your space and allowing himself to be as close to you as he’ll ever be able to. He cares about you more than he cares about himself. His best friend’s little sister. At this point he’s a walking romance book trope.

“It’s nothing I’m fi-” Before you can utter another word Minho has his index finger pressed against your lips and an eyebrow raised.

“I’m going to give you another chance to rethink your words. Choose carefully.” You roll your eyes, prompting him to drop his hand.

“I’m trying to get over something.” You look down at your hands as you refuse to make eye contact.

“Something or someone?” You sink back against the wall.

You weigh your options: you could either lie to him, or you could confess and hope that you don’t die of embarrassment when he rejects you.

“Someone.” When you finally look up at him you’re surprised to see his boba eyes clouded with - jealousy? No, you’ve got to be imagining it. There’s no way.

“Who?” Are you imagining it?

“Just..someone.” Minho shakes his head as if saying ‘not good enough.’ But you’re not backing down that easily, this is just too good. So you do the next best thing: you mess with him.

“It’s someone from school..?” you wince, the statement coming out as more of a question.

Minho’s eyes narrow and he finally steps out of your way. He stares at you dumbfounded before pulling your phone out of his pocket and holding it out to you. As you reach for it your fingers graze his and you’re reminded of the situation you’ve put yourself in.

“Like I said, meaningless.” Minho’s voice pulls you out of the endless rabbit hole that is your stupid, insecure brain.

All of this for nothing, he thinks. This whole time he was dumb enough to believe that you had feelings for him but instead you were treating it like a joke.

“Whatever, come on.”

Two weeks have passed since you woke up at Minho’s place. Two weeks have passed since you came home trying to determine if you were being delusional or if he actually got jealous of the idea that you were thinking about someone else.

But hey, even if he didn’t actually feel that way you figure it’d be fun to play with him.

Why not? It’s all harmless anyway. What could possibly go wrong?

Luckily for you he’s supposed to be at Jisung’s place, where you happen to have just made a surprise appearance at. Your top tier excuse? There’s family drama that you want to gossip about with him.

Now you’ve finally comprised a seemingly fool proof plan to get a reaction out of Minho. You threw on his hoodie and a pair of shorts before leaving the house.

To your delight when the door opens to reveal Minho sitting on the couch he looks like his eyes are about to pop out of his head. He can’t believe you even kept it, let alone willingly wore it. He wonders if it still smells like him or if you washed it, ridding it of any traces of himself.

“Hi, Sungie,” you pull your brother into a hug and make eye contact with Minho over Jisung’s shoulder.

“Why are you- I mean don’t get me wrong, I love it when you visit but like…you never do.” Jisung pulls back and gives you a skeptical look, preparing himself for whatever you’re about to ask him for.

“You never invite me,” you pout and slip past him into the living room. “Did you hear about auntie?” You say, turning to Minho before continuing, “You remember her, right? The one with all the cats, tried to get you to take them all? Yeah, you remember.” You smile before sitting next to him on the couch. Meanwhile Jisung - completely ignoring your babbling - has moved into the kitchen to make you a cup of tea, just like any other time you’ve shown up at his place unannounced.

Once you can tell that he’s out of earshot you look at the boy next to you who is painfully obvious in trying not to look at the exposed skin right underneath where his oversized hoodie, that could be classified as a dress on you, stops.

You look down at your body with an amused pout, “What’s the matter?”

Just as Minho was about to open his mouth your brother comes in with your tea, setting it down on the coffee table in front of you.

You thank him before crossing your legs and sinking backwards into the couch. You play with the end of your sleeve which goes an inch or two past the tips of your fingers as you wait for someone to speak.

Just as you thought you’d be playing the quiet game for the next three hours Minho answers your silent prayers.

“So, I decided to take a BDSM test,” he says just as you took a sip of tea, you almost choke on it but manage to cover it with a cough.

Jisung’s complaining is drowned out by the words that have been engraved in your brain for the past two weeks,

“What. You gonna hold me hostage? Tie me up?”

“You’d like that too much. Wouldn’t you, princess?”

Touché, you think. This little game has gotten ten times more interesting.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

tags: @skzstarnet @godslino @seungseung-minmin @myseungsunglove @azuna-sz @solisyeah

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whirlwindsworld · 1 day

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Fantasy junior year finale thoughts

SPOILERS!! And long post ahead

First thought: The pacing. I know there were good reasons for things ending up being rushed. But I can still be sad that they were rushed.

A bunch of stuff was kind of forgotten or left on the cutting floor. Bucky, Fabian and his mom and her broken promise to be better, the full timeline of the Ratgrinders, Jace and whether he was potentially resurrected, and finally, Jawbone trying to talk to Riz!!

Even if this’ll all be further explored in senior year, I believe most if not all deserved some lip service be paid so we know these plot threads didn’t just buried.

Second thought: Fabian. This boy’s entire situation all season had me so sad. It’s so deeply fucked up.

We laugh at the baby nemesis thing, but with how much time Hallariel dedicates to Fabian, its not too far fetched to liken Fabian to a practice kid for her. Her new kid will be a full elf. Able to live for hundreds of years. Fabian’s life span is like the blink of an eye for her. She’s barely emotionally invested in Fabian as it is.

From Fabian’s perspective, he might really be thinking, “How invested will she actually be when her “real kid” is born?”

She straight up broke the promise she made in sophomore year to be better. I am deeply surprised that was not a detail to have come up when Ankarna asked him about injustice.

Third thought: I hope we either get poly Kristen and trackerbeeshield, or that trackerbees don’t get back together. Its not that deep a thought. I think its a big swing to revive a relationship that was genuinely a good bit codependent.

Fourth thought: I’m gonna miss fig so much. I know she’s dropping out so emily can give her a happy retirement, but I swear there’s more story to tell here still. I don’t just want to see her admit she struggled asking for help I wanna see her try her ass off to ask for help when she needs it. It’s a skill you gotta practice. And she is absolutely still her own worse critic. She sets these crazy high standards for herself and beats herself up when she fails to reach them.

And thats it for now!

#fhjy spoilers #fantasy high #dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year #long post #hallariel seacaster neg

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wordthieve · 2 days

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This is going to sound weird, but ... I'm so fucking proud of Buck and Eddie.

First of all, look at Buck not assuming the worst and asking for more information, gently confronting Eddie but giving him space. And yes, Eddie instinctively and immediately shakes his head and tries to pretend the conversation isn't happening, but then Buck won't let it go, and he won't let it turn into an argument, either. And then Buck says: "I'm worried about you."

Buckles, you absolute sweetheart of a human. He lays it out clearly and simply: I care. I'm worried. Imagine having a friend who will hold that space and make you face it but will not condemn you for it, because they are worried, and they love you.

And then Eddie, instead of denying it, instead of "leave it" or "I've moved on" or any of that, admits "I'm worried about me too." Like, fuck.

And THEN Eddie comes clean to Kim! That's HUGE! From Mr I Will Carry This To My Cold Dead Grave sits her down and admits everything, and apologises for all the right things. It was a shitty thing to do to someone, and she is entitled to recall him as that crazy guy she kind of dated who thought she was his dead wife. But he wore what he could of it and he sat there and accepted that he had caused her pain and that he could not fix it.

And FUCKING THEN, (when I can only hope Kim is wearing a really great wig instead of getting her hair cut) he LETS HIMSELF BE ANGRY WITH SHANNON. The fact that instead of being full of guilt and apologies, he stands there and says "Where was my letter?"

Eddie, my beloved hot mess, bravo. I am plotzing over how much progress is behind him asking "where was my letter?" Instead of the crushing self-recrimination (while also acknowledging his faults), he is letting himself say "what about me?" and "I deserve that". How long has he been struggling to find it in him to offer himself any grace, any semblance of sympathy and empathy? How long has he thought himself unworthy of love, or at least any more of it than he got from the stunted and strangled example of his and Shannon's relationship? How many years of living for other people, of shoving down what he wants, of punishing himself for everything that happened, everything that he survived, everything that he lost, and he stands there in this ridiculous, absurd, painful situation and says "Where was my letter?" That, my friends, is how you do THERAPY.

Yeah, there's a bunch of other stuff he's still dealing with, and my heart just WEPT at "I'm broken", but oh, honey, this is a STEP.

#eddie diaz #you goddamn darling man #911 #911 on abc #911 abc #evan buckley #buck and eddie

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saingirl101 · 3 days

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Okay had some time and shitposts to really think about the finale of FHJY

I literally have rewritten this post several times thats how complex it feels.

Spoilers under the cut

First off I love that potential threads are hanging in the air particularly for adaine and kristen.

Character wise kristen ironically could have been the most complete storyline after FHSophY however with how Ally played her this season i think narratively she is the bad kid who absolutely needs a continuation for her story - tracker, bucky, her messy enemiess beebees ship, her parents, the whole buddy/bobby dawn thing, FUCKING KALINA, like the way brennan ended the season its like he's T-ing up another narratively perfect season for kristen.

Fabian, our darling boy makes several strides in improving himself and several steps back in other ways. I for one would die from laughter while he deals with having a GF, his mom, step father and grandpapa all living in the same house with a new elf baby (and also potentially stepsibling Fig).

Adaine - godamn what a fantastic narrative season as well, her confidence this season was so hot and siobhan continues to just be a dream TTRPG player. Like she's been killing it with her character decisions, impeccable comedic timing, and knowledge of the game out of the park for literally the past year and half.

Riz, like my god, such a perfect season for him and getting to see his character growth as well. He's also literally the hottest he's ever been and while I am sad he is aroace so i cannot make an OC to smooch him, he's just so fucking ool it doesn't even matter. ALSO RIZ YOU HAVE MULTIPLE QUEER PEOPLE ON YOUR TEAM YOU CAN DEFINITELY TELL THEM YOU ARE AROACE KING.

Gorgug, wow what a fucking season. Zac always kills it with his characters but besides the bit in freshman year I don't know that I ever clicked with gorgug as much as I did this season. He also had an amazing arc all those nat 20s in the last stand, the nat 20s to get them the academic help while he took on four years of school in one year, using his aertificer stuff to help take down his literal nemesis and the person whose put him down for years.

And now we come to fig and my controversial opinion. I still feel like despite them trying to T-up this possibly being emily's fairwell from playing fig I don't feel like narratively it makes sense. theres just still so much in the air and I would love to see her relationship with ankarna grow and blossom. Also despite the talk theres just so much left unresolved between her and sandra lynn. That said I'll be sad but understand if emily plays another character if they do ever make FHseniorY. THAT SAID, BRENNAN YOU OWE ME A SEASON OF GILEAR SHENNANIGANS. FIG DID SAY SHE MIGHT MOVE INTO SEACASTER MANOR, LET HER PULL LOONEY TOONS SHENNAIGANS TO PREVENT FABIAN FROM MURDER THEIR NEW SIBLING.

#fhjy #fantasy high junior year #fantasy high junior year spoilers #fhjy spoilers #the bad kids #dimension 20 #kristen applebees #adaine abernant #fabian seacaster #gorgug thistlespring #figuroth faeth #riz gukgak #d20

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sashisuse · 3 days

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okay i read it, so here are some thoughts on satoru gojo. jjk 261 spoilers under the cut.

i think there is something do disgustingly devastating about the fact that satoru has been nothing more than a weapon for jujutsu society his entire life.

he’s not human to anyone (hold on i’m getting to them) for the majority of his life. he grows up and is revered because he’s the first person in centuries to be born with the six eyes. he’s a child god. he has never had any sort of autonomy over his life.

and then he gets to high school and meets suguru and oh. my. god. suguru geto is one of the only people to have ever seen satoru gojo as anything other than the six eyes.

it is so extremely tragic that satoru cannot have any sort of peace, even after death, because his body is being used as a puppet basically by yuta. and please, this is not in any way any type of slander toward any character here. it’s just my thoughts and analysis.

these people all do value satoru but at the end of the day, they were all inevitably down with it. yes, it’s important to note that hakari said this was the very last last LAST resort. that kusakabe said this wasn’t humane. and what really sticks with me the most is that yuta was the one who pointed out that satoru has been forced to be a monster for most of his life. and now yuta is the one saying he’ll take it over, he’ll be the monster so that satoru doesn’t have to anymore.

omfg this is probably really jumbled and not very coherent. my brain is mush right now and i’ll post something better later so i apologize but thanks for bearing with me at the moment 😭

anyway. where was i

okay yeah. the conversation we see between yuta and satoru hurts me too. where he says two things that stick with me. 1. ‘i was mostly surprised shoko was okay with it’ and 2. ‘i don’t really care what happens to my body’.

because it is absolutely devastating to me that satoru has been conditioned to a point where he doesn’t care what happens to his body. and he brushes it off to with stuff like ‘oh it’s fine i don’t care because i’m not going to lose’ but… he admits to suguru in the airport that he wasn’t going to win. and so… AGH.

it just keeps taking me back to this one line i wrote in one of my fics.

( “I don’t want you to be the Strongest,” she told him once. She frowned and said, “I just want you to be Satoru.” )

i’m in so much pain. i’m so sad. my brain is mush. i will talk more about this later. probably. i need to go find some comfort fics to read or something. or maybe sleep because i’m writing this at 12:30 am 😭

#jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #jjk #jujutsu kaisen analysis #jjk 261 #sabe rambles #i am also really scared of what will happen at the end of those five minutes #because i don’t want to lose yuta too #maybe #just maybe #yuta will bring the body back and shoko will glue satoru’s brain back in and put yuta’s brain back into his now healed body #and everyone will be fine and this will truly be our jujutsu kaisen #trust #WAAAAAHHHH #jujutsu kaisen spoilers

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the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see · 3 days

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what is this jean/Jeremy/Kevin thing it looks interesting and the art is cool

oh boy oh boy!!!!!!!! i am absolutely going through it anon. so basically there is this book series called all for the game by nora sakavic that you should totally read (the first book is called the foxhole court -- but please check out a list of trigger warnings for it because it is very heavy and deals with a lot of serious and painful topics. i myself have had to disconnect for some of the scenes and come back when i was ready; its completely okay to do so, or to not read the books at all if its uncomfortable). its about gay athletes, guys just going through the absolute worst, the yakuza, fucked up families, a running game of how pathetic can you get answered in 15 different ways by each person, fucked up relationships, all not-so-neatly packaged into a completely made up fictional sport. (its funny because i am NOT a sports person and barely even understand cricket even though i watch it all the time, but i know the rules of exy forwards, backwards, and inside out. its that serious.)

i also need to warn you that the first book is slow. the second book is also kind of slow. i personally didnt have any trouble with it because im more of a character reader and aftg had PLENTYYY to keep me busy, but i think its a fair warning if youre sensitive to pace. however. the payoff is so incredibly worth it. its an amazing read with obsession-worthy characters, detailed and balanced plot beats, flowing and natural dialogue, very creative sports , and the relationships will make you want to reread it twenty thousand times. the romance is also the slowest burn to ever burn. if youre going in for romance at the start, you Will Not Get what you want -- but you will get it. i think we as a fandom focus on the romances a lot (im new so dont take my word for it) but its 1) because we're tumblr dont come and 2) because the romances and relationships are incredibly interesting to see through the lens of the books and vice versa. what i really love most (and youll see this in the ec doc) is that it feels like each and every choice was deliberately made by the author to make the book. like. down to the ice cream flavor they get at one point. especially with the sunshine court, i feel like i can see exactly where she made a choice and what mightve happened if that choice wasnt made. its intoxicated to read. it feels like breathing and it feels like drowning.

i just read the sunshine court (where jean and jeremy are more from) so thats what all the recent stuff has been, but you should read the foxhole court series first for it to make sense. i think tsc is 100000x times better and better written than tfc but you have to work for it lol. and!!!!! the author is on tumblr (@/korakos)! also if you do read it, please tell me!!!!!! you can keep sending anons or you can dm me or you can come to my house and live in my room but tell me!!!!! theres also an extra content doc (thanks @jeansyvesmoreau for sending this to me) between the series' (so after the kings men, before the sunshine court) that you should definitely definitely read. but im getting ahead of myself.

i hope that helps?? or at least doesnt hurt. if you liked the raven cycle by maggie stiefvater, i think this is a good step up. let me know if you have any questions at all!!

okay ive been normal for this whole thing, ranting and incoherent noises below cut:

ANON ITS SOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD ITS SO GOOD. ITS SO GOOD. i told mel this but i cant possibly say i love these books because its not necessarily love. its not something i can explain but youll get it if you read it. there is a piece of my soul that was carved out, reformed, and then put back into me by nora sakavic. i dont think ill ever be the same again. i need a therapist who has read these books so they can understand exactly what im going through. each character was like a bomb to me. jean moreau is like a straitjacket. they mean so much to me. theyre nothing. i hate them. i need to feed them breakfast. OUGHHHHHHHHORGHEURGHEOGH. there is so much grief entangled with them but they are so vibrant and full of life it hurts. i cant stop thinking about them. i finished tsc yesterday and ive been sobbing ever since. i am dead serious. i cried myself to sleep last night thinking about one of the characters. i need you to know how real i am being.

i think if i meet nora sakavic i will probably kill her. just fully black out and kill her and not even know it. so i wont meet her for the better! but i need this to be out there. my fingers hurt from typing all this but know that there is MORE in my head. so much more. i am fit to burst with it all. love you anon thanks for asking

#asks #the tree speaks #ily anon #aftg #all for the game #the sunshine court #nora sakavic

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myname-isnia · 4 months

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I really need three days off in a week bc between plans with friends and family obligations I have absolutely no time to relax

#I don’t count it as a day off unless I don’t go anywhere or see anyone #day off means locked in my apartment. alone. staring at the wall and talking to myself for hours #I have to go to grandma’s tomorrow bc I always see her once a week #and she made me borsch. I can’t just skip out on borsch #and then I promised my friends I’d go ice skating with them on Sunday #idk why I agreed #I’ve never even seen a pair of skates in real life before #I can’t work properly when I’ve got two feet on the ground. let alone when skates and ice are involved #it’s gonna end so badly I can already tell #a long time ago a friend tried to teach me to rollerblade #I couldn’t even get off the floor after putting the rollerblades on #I am absolutely not cut out for stuff like this #no sense of balance. whatsoever #it’s gonna be miserable for everyone involved bc I’ll spend the entire trying not to fall #and my friends will spend the entire time helping me not fall #I really shouldn’t have agreed. I never even wanted to go. but I’ve never taken part in any winter activity. ever #ice skating. skiing. snowboarding. snowball fights. building a snowman. none of it #and my friend had three passes left to a rink by her house #I have to go #I literally can’t cancel #but I have so much shit happening next week and I really need a day off to just sit and process it all #right now I’m actively ignoring everything coming up bc if I think about it I will sob my eyes out #and I already do that enough. and I can’t sleep after I cry and I’ve been sleep deprived for months #god.. how will I ever make it through life if I can’t even handle going out with friends on a weekend and one single mock exam??#life’s really hammering in that I’m all grown up now huh #okay. no. nope. not gonna go there. not gonna cry tonight. I can’t keep crying all the time it’s not good for me #I swear I didn’t cry this much when I was actively depressed and suicidal. and it’s not those cleansing cries either #I always feel like shit afterwards. but what can you do. I just have to get it together and stop whining #I made a commitment. now I have to follow through. like the adult I almost am. no more complaining #I’m done

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milkweedman · 8 months

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forcing myself to "eat protein" and "be responsible" after once again encountering a week long period of all my muscles hurt so bad and are so weak despite doing the same thing they always do assuming without checking that it was probably because im eating mostly coffee and plain untoasted bread in small quantities. and its not even a whey bread or 100% whole wheat, ive been trying to use up my bread flour/whole wheat blend (i dumped them in the bucket together, maybe on accident ? unclear) so its just that with whatever else i threw in. spent $6 on the only yogurt in the store that had at least 5 grams of protein per 1/4 cup, which is still very little, only to get home and finally google what the symptoms of protein deficiency are. they are not that. those are the symptoms of Who Fucking Knows, As Always

#i dont even like yogurt...#god the food situation is so bad #so it turns out i can do one of the following--but badly and it takes more than 100% of my energy and is miserable and untenable long term #and involves injuring myself to do it: school. work. taking care of stuff around the house. taking care of myself.#i can do ONE.#i also dont get to pick because obviously i have to work #so feeding myself (even like making a bowl of cereal or eating a granola bar) is so impossibly difficult that i can only really do it #at night when high and finally able to feel hunger #and even then its still incredibly difficult and i usually get as far as cutting a slice of bread and then giving up and eating it plain #most of the actual meals i eat are because my roommates are usually kind enough to make enough dinner for 3 #but i also have very weird and frequently changing dietary needs that i have not communicated 2 anyone so i cant necessarily actually eat i #have cooked some and made sandwiches a few times but its very clear i am borrowing from tomorrows spoons....#i ran out of the ensure a bit ago and i will get more although none of the stores nearby sell it #but i absolutely cannot afford to live off it #have luckily found that if i just drink one in the morning it staves off the majority of the nonstop random nausea attacks #so a 12 pack would last a lot longer but then its like. so now i need to figure out the eating thing again #cant win etc etc #augh. anyway. complaining over #disordered eating #chronic illness

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fembutchboygirl · 3 months

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I just learned something so incredibly fucked up

#i am trembling #i cannot let this enable my issues with paranoia further! haha! oh my fucking god #im not joking btw im literally physically trembling. how did this happen oh god oh GOD nononono dont let it get to you #i just need to know. was someone like. double dealing? was someone telling him about it #i wouldnt give a shit if they were stalking me online occasionally (well id care a little bit but honestly itd just be kinda fucked)#but if someone was telling him about me and my personal stuff?#stop. i dont want to think about it. i dont want to think it happened. i have to get this out of my head #but still. absolutely fucking deranged.#ESPECIALLY bc apparently he's been saying i “made him think he was abusive'' and that doing that was shitty of me bc he actually #just has bpd??????#sol if you're reading this listen closely: one of my best friends has bpd. diagnosed and everything. so shut the fuck up #much like you've been saying i blamed my adhd for being neglectful (read: not meeting your sky-high standards for Truly Loving You 24/7)#you cannot blame your bpd for what a shit person you've been #repeatedly asking you to work on a flaw that's been hurting me is not telling you you're abusive you fucking prick #get a life‚ learn to care about other people away from what they can do for YOU‚#and LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.#p.s. imagine being mad that people who were friends with both you and your partner didnt suddenly cut the other one off after you broke up #like actually angry at these people. what the actual fuck. you're like a divorced parent upset that their child still talks to their ex-wife #my posts

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summertimemusician · 8 months

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Linktober Day 8

Constructs

Way too late if ya ask me because Nayru and Hylia have decided to forsake me but it's done. *Collapses* This one did NOT want to write itself no matter how hard I tried even if I have so many feelings about constructs, in the end Hozier, the SS and TOTK soundtrack carried this to the final stretch even if it's just a small drabble lol.

Mostly referenced this time though, something soft and nice about Sky and Reader and Constructs, can be interpreted as platonic or romantic. Day 9 and 10 prompts will be released on the same day if it all possible though depending if I actually get some darn rest and have the time (because Legend is being a bit difficult on the Linktober Shadow one in contrast to how deity is going and I have irl stuff to get done, hopefully this is good enough until then.).

Wild’s Sky Archipelagos couldn’t be different from Skyloft, though no less breathtaking. The eternal beauty of the sky ringing true and everlasting over the cloud barrier enforced by Hylia, though if the sky found in your favorite Godslayer’s was beautiful due to the life that thrived in the loneliness in spite of it all, of creating a community that would outlast the wish for entropy Demise attempted to enforce into the world with the black hole heart of his greed, then Wild’s was because of the echoes of what once was there, that it was lovely and beautiful even in ruin as nature reclaimed what belonged to it by right. That even if the people were gone they existed, they thrived and lived and loved and even in tragedy, that mattered.

And nothing reflected that better than the Constructs which of outlasted the civilization. Made out of now decayed copper and sturdy ceramic, made cute, so the people would remember to treat their new helpers kindly, and made sturdy so they’d remember the people who loved adored them and their built in sense of duty and kindness to aid any guest of friend in need and given voices so they could listen to them speak, to make them just a little closer to humanity.

‘Many of them are deactivated now,’ Wild had told you, the first time you’d all stepped foot onto the main island, it was disorienting for you and most of the Chain (except for Sky, because of course your heavenly, cloud trailblazing boy would have taken to the abandoned, atmosphere cold and echoing sun gold clear beauty of the sky island the quickest like a fish whom was questioned on their ability to swim or a falcon on their ability to hunt, you were almost jealous if not for the fact you or Four always made lunges for his collar – Crimson didn’t come with through the portal after all, nor First’s Russet’- when he attempted to follow Wild’s lead and in consequence give you heart attacks), the little beings of ceramic and old bronze completely non hostile, going about tending to the islands with their faint whirs of gears and whistles of self sustaining magic batteries, voices cold but calm, almost comforting and the first pieces of technology far away from Sky’s them that weren’t immediately hostile towards your boys, ‘Mostly the soldier ones, the Stewards have remained though. Carrying on with their duty, making the place homey even if the people are gone.’

Something about that gave you pause, lagging behind your group in a long abandoned garden, the scent of Sundelions and lavender tickling your nose and a deactivate Soldier Construct coiled up in slumber. Remembering the ancient robots in Sky’s Era, carrying on in their little pockets of time, unaware that the people they were created to aid have long since gone, that their time had long gone, of Fi, everlasting, ever sleeping Fi, bound to duty, always remembering the one’s who created her, of Sky who treated her as a friend, and always watching as people so very unlike him but achingly similar came and went, unable to do anything. Loving like a ghost.

“Guest?”, came a little mechanical chirp, you blink yourself back into awareness, a Steward floating over with a tilted head, jade ceramic earrings clinking, “If I may, you look troubled. May I offer unsolicited aid?”

You can’t help but chuckle, shaking your head gently, an idea stitching yourself in your mind like threads of silk upon a gown, “No no, sorry, I’m alright, I was just wondering. Is it alright if I come on by to pick some flowers? They’re lovely, you did a great job caring for them.”

It inclines their head, chiming, something close to delight, as much as it can express as a machine, “Ah, I see you were admiring them. If I may offer a bit of trivia, Sundelions were the queen's favorite, you may. Will you take care of them?”

You smile, gently reaching a hand to pat it’s head with a nod, it clicks and whistles, surprised, but doesn’t pull away, “Of course, may I ask you a few questions as well? I’d like to know how many Soldier Constructs are resting now.”

You should also ask Sky what Fi’s opinion is on flowers, as well.

It might be a bit silly, but they deserve it after so long.

(Later, much later, when the Chain notices you’re gone after talking to Zelda in the Temple of Time high up in the. Sky finds you in the garden, gently weaving blossoms into a crown, the construct from before amicably chatting with you as it tends to the Sundelions with a ring of flowers around it's long, long neck.

He joins you, and when asked what his and Fi’s opinion is on flowers, he tells you she won’t mind, much less him.

Later that day, Fi’s gains a crown of yarrow, bluebells and morning glories

It’s not much, but it makes Sky smile, you hope she likes them.)

#linked universe x reader #technically #lu sky x reader #drabble this time because irl stuff and me needing a nap because I'm cutting close to the mark where humans have hallucinations lmao #Yes I call First's Loftwing Russet what of it? Gotta keep with the theme #I think Sky would absolutely be the type to forget Loftwings don't exist in TOTK Hyrule and just instinctively leap off high places #The Sky Islands would be so uncanny for the guy #The Chain ain't used to non hostile machinery but they think constructs are neat #Fi technically counts as a construct even if she's a sword now just saying. She deserves a gift for all her hard work and everything else #Next time they go to the Sky Islands Reader and Sky find out all the constructs wear flower crowns and collars and are delighted lol #Including the sleeping soldier constructs now #sure they're hostile but they were just doing their jobs alright? I say they deserve some too #summer writes linktober 2023 #summer writes #after I rest next one up is Deity and I am having way too much fun writing it *cackles like a maniac*

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