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215-luv · 2 days

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sakusa kiyoomi almost knocks off the keys on the table near the front door as he enters your shared apartment in the middle of the night. he barely has any energy left to properly drop his things down on the floor as he could feel a migraine coming in soon if not long.

the apartment is quiet and dark. the lights that were left open were the ones in the kitchen. however, he doesn’t see any signs of you. nor does he hear your voice, and he takes it as a sign that you’re probably asleep in your shared bedroom. it signals him to silently make his way through the short hallway, leading to your bedroom where the door was left ajar.

when sakusa does reach the door, he doesn’t make his way inside first. what he does is he makes an effort to slowly and quietly peak against the small space so he could see you. it was dark. and yet he sees you. the light from the kitchen cascades through the small opening, shining a dull but visible light over you that it allows him to see your figure that’s peacefully lying on bed. and god, the sight leaves him breathless. you’re like a goddess. you’re too beautiful to look at. you look so peaceful—so lovely that he’s sure he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if he accidentally wakes you up from your slumber.

“omi?”

and oh shit! his heart nearly leaps out from his chest. your tired and timid voice reaches like music to his ears. just why are you so addicting? but wait. you’re awake? did he just wake you up? oh, he’ll be damned! despite the butterflies in his stomach, it has practically been dominated by the disappointment crashing over him right now.

it was a laughable matter actually. from your perspective, you see a huge, six footer man with handsome features slowly opening the door of your bedroom to let himself in. what’s adorable is that this man of yours has an obvious pout cascading over his features. he couldn’t look at you. his eyes were shooting down to the ground as he makes himself as small as possible infront of you.

you chuckle, “tired day?”

sakusa clears his throat. “yeah. go back to sleep. i’m sorry for disrupting you—i mean, your sleep.”

“hey, it’s okay.” you smile as your cheek is smushed against the pillow. “i’m glad i woke up. i got to see you today.”

sakusa scratches the back of his head. “i-is that so?”

“yeah.” you reply, “you went to practice too early. i woke up without you in bed. i wouldn’t want to end the day without seeing you either, omi.”

it was only ‘till then your words sends him to a state of shock. it almost feels like a wake up call or a hit on the head by a bat (if not a volleyball). you don’t know if you broke him or not, but sakusa stood by the side of the bed, unable to move, as if he’s in a trance.

“you.. w-what..?”

he’s so caught off guard that it lets out a chuckle out of you. he’s so adorable. your boyfriend.

“you heard me.” you say, letting out a sleepy smile that bursts the butterflies in sakusa’s stomach.

and he just couldn’t believe it. about four years earlier, sakusa couldn’t see himself ever loving someone, nor having someone to love him back. four years earlier, he was just a highschool student who strived nothing else but to dedicate his life to volleyball.

but then again, who knew things could change drastically in the future?

because four years later, at a late evening, he realizes that he’s looking at the only person who he wants to dedicate his whole life to.

that only person being you.

#i’m crying #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu!!#sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa fluff #sakusa x reader #kiyoomi x reader #hq fluff #sakusa x you

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munson-blurbs · 4 hours

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Hehe for since you asked for fluffy smut, what if reader has had a long day at work and Eddie maybe fixes a bubble bath and they take one together, but then it gets a lil frisky

Is this more smut than fluff? Yes. Am I apologizing for it? Nope.

Collab with @corroded-hellfire who is once again the only reason there's any fluff at all.

CW: smut (18+ only, minors DNI), roommate!Eddie, accidental boners, grinding, lots and lots of touching, mention of oral (f) WC: 1.9k

Home might have been a tiny, two-bedroom apartment that perched above the heart of Hawkins, but at the end of a long shift, it’s Heaven.

You kick off your shoes; apparently they’re one of the most supportive brands, according to the other waitresses, but your feet still ache.

The throbbing in your feet is nothing compared to the roaring pain that inflames your lower back. Just pressing the heel of your palms into it makes you wince and groan.

“You okay?” Eddie calls from his room. You hear him fumbling to put away his guitar before you can even reply.

The door swings open and he stands there, posture sagging when he sees how beaten down you look. Whatever makeup you had applied that afternoon had long faded, and the stains on your apron certainly added the finishing touch.

Eddie, meanwhile, is refreshed—infuriatingly so. Today was his day off, and though he put in a lot of work the other six days of the week, you still yearned for the well-restedness that had him bounding over to you.

“Bubble bath?” When you two had first moved in together, he used to try and talk to you about your day. He took it personally when you retreated to your room without glancing in his direction. But now he knew that you talk when you regain your energy. And there’s no shortage of gossip after eight hours at Benny’s.

You nod, offering him as much of a grateful smile as you can muster. “That would be great.” You weren’t sure how you managed to find a great friend like Eddie, but you weren’t about to question it, either.

None of the guys you’d actually dated had ever been so understanding. But Eddie…he managed to always know what you needed.

He offers you one of his signature grins that always brighten your day and heads down the hall to the bathroom. You take off your name tag when the loud gush of the tub faucet reaches your ears and you barely have time to yank your socks off before Eddie’s back in your doorway.

“Your spa awaits,” he says. “I would’ve prepared you some music but I don’t think any of my metal cassettes have the ambiance you’re looking for right now.”

You shake your head as you pass by him and step towards the bathroom door.

“Not really,” you agree. “I’ll let you know if I need it for some inspiration working out or welding or something.”

Eddie huffs a laugh and slips his hands into the back pockets of his black jeans.

“Wasn’t that Flashdance?”

“Yeah, but that music wasn’t my thing,” you admit with a shrug before you step into the bathroom. The door clicks behind you as it closes and you’re immediately shedding the stained, greasy uniform you’ve been dying to ditch all day.

A trail of clothing is left in your wake as you step up to the tub, the bubbles fizzing and giving off a calming jasmine scent. Not wanting to scald your skin as the cherry on top of this already grueling day, you slip your hand into the water to test the temperature. It’s perfect. You don’t know how Eddie does it; he must have the magic touch.

The water, the bubbles, the scent, it’s all too inviting. You lift one leg over the side of the tub and climb in, quickly bringing the other in as well. In your haste to start your relaxation, you slip a bit as you begin to sit down. Instinct has you catching yourself on the sides of the tub almost instantly, but it causes the collection of soap, shampoo, and conditioner bottles to tumble onto the floor in a large heap. You stare at the pile for a moment.

“Ah, I’ll deal with you later,” you decide under your breath and sink further down into the warmth waiting to heal you from your long day.

The bubbles tickle your skin as they gradually make their way higher. They stop around your breasts and the warm water wraps itself around every achy muscle in your body.

Suddenly, the bathroom door busts open, a frazzled Eddie charging in with wide, concerned eyes. He’s only in a Corroded Coffin t-shirt and boxers now, so maybe the loud bang woke him from a nap.

“I-Is everything okay?” he asks as he eyes the pile of bottles on the floor.

“Oh yeah, I just knocked those over when I got in,” you explain.

Eddie breathes a sigh of relief but the moment his eyes land on you, his body tenses up even worse than before. He’s clearly trying not to stare at you—especially your chest—but he’s failing miserably. You look down to find that your roommate has a pretty good view of the tops of your boobs.

When you look back to Eddie, you get a pretty nice view yourself. Since he’s only wearing boxers on his lower half, his boner is quite evident.

A smug sense of satisfaction settles over you, even seeing how uncomfortable Eddie seems to be at getting caught. But you’re not going to tease him or make him feel bad about anything. On the contrary, you’ve thought of yet another way he can help you relax.

“Do you wanna join?” you purr.

When Eddie looks your way you give him the most innocent, wide eyed look you can manage and flutter your lashes a few times.

Worry blooms within you when he doesn’t immediately respond.

Did I overstep? Is he completely freaked out? Oh my god, what if his boner was completely unrelated to me and I just assumed—

His voice, smaller than you’ve ever heard it, interrupts your thoughts. “Mhm, yeah. I mean, if that’s cool with you.”

You nod, watching as he peels off his shirt and tosses it aside, exposing the soft tendrils of hair across his chest. There’s a tattoo on one pec; you want him, need him closer so you can run your tongue over it.

He sheds his boxers next. Though you knew he was big just from seeing the bulge behind the fabric, nothing prepared you to see him fully on display. The reddish-pink tip leaks pre-cum as the shaft bobs in desperate search for the warmth of a body.

“Where should I…” He’s gained a bit of confidence from the way you stare unabashedly at his naked body, but he’s still hesitant to push his luck too far.

Scooting forward, you gesture to the now empty space behind you. Nerves buzz throughout your naked body —now wet in more ways than one.

Eddie swings a leg over the edge of the tub, getting his balance before bringing the other to join. The way he places his hands on your shoulders results in an electricity that you can only hope he feels as well.

His lower body disappears beneath the bubbles and he lets out a relaxed groan. You lean back until your head rests on his chest, his considerable length pressing against your lower back.

“Sweetheart,” he whispers. Whether he means to speak that softly or he can’t manage anything louder, you can’t be sure. “Be careful.”

“Careful?”

He nods, lips grazing the shell of your ear. He’s so close to you, and yet he’s still too far away. “You’re so fucking tempting like this.”

You shift slightly, enough to see the blush in his cheeks that you know isn’t from the steamy bath. “Maybe I want you to be tempted.”

One tattooed arm snakes around your waist, fingers trailing upwards and stopped just shy of your breasts.

“Don’t tease me,” he begs. “Don’t say it if you don’t mean it.”

“I mean it.”

You take his hand and place it on your left breast. He whimpers, and you swear you could climax from the sound alone.

Water sloshes around the tub as he hooks his legs around yours, gathering the stability he needs.

“Fuck…” His hips move as he ruts up against you, desperate for relief. The way he pinches your nipple, rolling it between his thumb and forefinger, starkly contrasts the gentle kisses he leaves on your shoulder blades.

You want him. You need him.

His other hand lays in the water and you guide it between your legs, now spread in anticipation of his touch.

“There?” He asks as he finds your clit, rubbing it when you nod in the affirmative.

Eddie increases his pace, fingers working in tandem to bring you pleasure. You arch your back, exposing your neck for him to bite and suck.

“When we’re done,” he murmurs, “I want you splayed out on the bed for me. I need to see if your pussy is as pretty as I’ve imagined.”

His words awaken something within you. “Y-You imagine me…?” You start, unable to finish your sentence.

Eddie nods. “Every time I jerk off, Sweetheart, I imagine being inside you. How you’d feel around my cock—mmph, fuck.”

“I picture you, too,” you confess. “Your fingers, or your cock, or—”

He raises a brow. “Or?”

“Or your mouth.” The admission spills from your lips.

“Yeah? You want me to eat that pretty little pussy of yours?” Your own desire for him amps up his confidence. He’s impossibly and impressively hard, and you would do anything for him to stretch you out.

You nod. “Please.”

“Okay, Sweetheart. Soon as we’re done here, yeah?” His breath hitches, his rutting becoming sloppier and needier as he nears orgasm.

Bubbly waves crest over the side of the tub, drenching the bathmat and flooding the tile floor, but neither of you care.

“Eds, little more, I’m gonna…”

He follows your every order, your pussy clenching around nothing as he takes care of your clit.

“Wanna make you feel good.” Eddie kisses your shoulder again. “Please let me make you feel good.”

You can only offer a moan as you come, chanting his name over and over. It’s a name you only ever dreamed about chanting so loudly; it was usually relegated to quiet whispers alone in your room.

A new warmth, different from the bathwater, coats your lower back and drips down to your ass when Eddie finishes, the hand on your breast squeezing tight, pain and pleasure intermingling harmoniously.

“Oh my god,” he pants. “That was…”

“Amazing.”

Eddie nods. “So fuckin’ amazing.”

He lifts a bubble-covered hand to your chin, tilting it slightly so he can kiss you. His lips are soft but move with determination, his tongue sliding between yours. You let him in, your fingers playing with the wet tips of his hair.

“Meant what I said about eating you out,” he mumbles into your mouth before stealing another kiss.

Splayed out on the bed. His to ravish. The thought has you lunging for the towel hanging behind the door in an attempt to dry off.

But when you stand, Eddie reaches out his hand and pulls you towards him, now eye-level with your pussy. “Knew she was perfect,” he says with a smirk. “Bet she tastes even better.”

The kiss he presses to your folds nearly buckled your knees.

“You wanna find out?” He nods eagerly, and you giggle. “It might be a little lavender-y from the bath soap, though.”

Eddie shrugs. “Don’t care. Need you.”

And who are you to deny a man his needs?

#eddie munson #stranger things #stranger things fanfic #fanfic #eddie stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x you #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson smut #smut #requests

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foxaftershocks · 2 days

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I don’t know if you write smut and this is my first time ever requesting it so I’m a bit shy about it but if you do could you maybe write a sequel to “A Chance Encounter” where Lars gets the ‘reward’ they were talking about lol.

Don't be shy about it. Smut is fun! I hope you enjoy what I wrote.

The walk home felt as if it went on for about a thousand years. You were so aware of his hands on you, brushing over the bare skin of your hand, resting on your hip, fingers tangling with yours. His gaze was heavy when they rested on you. Luxuriating in the feeling of his unhidden desire, you slowed your pace, wondering if the anticipation would only make the whole thing sweeter.

He took the keys from you, opening the door to your apartment. The door shut and the electricity that had been building reached a crescendo. He reached for you, bruised knuckles brushing the apple of your cheek. You didn’t even have to think twice, reaching up, fingers curling around the back of his neck.

“Are you sure you want your reward now, ghost boy?” you asked.

“I’ve earned it,” he replied, dipping his head towards you.

Clearly he was still heated, that first kiss full of fire. He wanted you, that much was clear. He pulled you closer, no build up, kissing you so deeply he stole your breath. Your fingers buried themselves in his hair, blond curls there for you to tug on.

He lifted you, your legs wrapping around his waist. His hands on your body was always addictive, making your thoughts spiral. You loved when you were above him, leaning down to kiss him, used to being so much shorter in comparison.

Anticipation had been curling in your stomach the entire way home, the fierce look in his eye making heat melt through your veins. From the moment he’d thrown that punch, defending your honour, you’d wanted to get your hands on him and reward him for all you were worth.

He stumbled towards the couch, lips trailing down your neck. The little noise you made in the back of your throat only seemed to spur him on. He growled into your skin as he sat. Your knees fell either side of his hips, straddling his lap, feeling him beginning to harden beneath you.

Grinding down, his throaty groan was music to your ears. His hands slid up, pushing past the hem of your shirt, seeking out warm skin with calloused fingertips. Your lips were on his, tongues brushing together, exploring his mouth deeper as your hips rocked against him. He dragged his hands up, along your spine, taking moment after moment to make you shiver.

Your fingers tugged on his hair. Teeth nipped at your lower lip. Kissing Lars was one of the joys of your life. He always did it with enthusiasm and a thoroughness that came from his need to be perfect. Where he had been unsure at the beginning of your relationship, his confidence had grown when it came to making you melt.

Sliding your hands down, you were slow as you unbuttoned his shirt, tie loosened and flung to the side. Chasing each newly exposed bit of skin with your lips, he lent back, letting you map his skin with your lips. Tongue darting out, you tasted his skin, the salt and the warmth addictive. His fingers were tracing patterns on the skin of your back and his eyes were at half mast.

You pushed the shirt from his shoulders, his skin soft against your palms. Touching him felt like a privilege. You lent forward again, teeth closing around his earlobe, tugging on it. He groaned, soft in your ear, hands pressing into your spine to bring you closer. Your lips trailed down his neck again, finding where his pulse pounded against your kisses.

“Fuck, love,” tumbled from his lips.

You could feel his length pressing against you. You rocked against it, chasing friction for the throbbing between your legs. Pleasure was pooling and you wanted him in every way possible. But tonight wasn’t about you. It was his reward, not yours.

One large hand cupped your cheek, pulling you back into a kiss. Your hands were on his skin and you were rocking against him, wanting to feel all of him beneath you. Sucking your lower lip into his mouth, you moaned. His hips pressed up, finding your heat.

His fingers were fast as they tugged your shirt over your head, hands cupping your breasts. Your head fell back as played with your tits, fingers finding hardening nipples through your bra. He lent forward, tugging one cup down, lips closing over the hardened peak. The man had a smart mouth, his skill with it not kept purely to wicked words.

“Want this off,” he mumbled against your skin.

Hands reached around unhooking, giving him unfettered access to your breasts. His mouth was hot against you, sucking as one hand played with the other nipple. You were arching into him, offering yourself to him, wanting him to consume you. Your fingers were buried in his hair, urging him on as you moaned his name.

“Want you so fucking much,” he groaned.

He kissed across your chest, giving attention to the other nipple. Your hips were rocking again, grinding down on the hard length beneath you. He was moaning into your skin. You looked down, catching blue eyes already looking up at you. They were molten, simmering with heat, smouldering as he gave a harsh suck. The cocky bastard knew exactly what he was doing to you.

You loved it.

You dragged him back to you, kissing him, your tongue in his mouth and your moans muffled. His hands replaced his mouth, continuing to play with you, circling and squeezing and rolling your nipples. You wanted him closer.

You slipped off his lap, fingers reaching for his belt buckle. On knees, between his legs, you stroked his length through his trousers. His hips pressed up into your touch. Freeing him from his trousers, you took him in your hand, giving a slow stroke. Precum leaked from the tip.

The way he hissed your name as your thumb circled over the head was addictive. His fingers wound through your hair, half lid eyes watching you. You lent forward, tongue giving a small kitten lick to the tip, tasting the salt of him.

“Oh, fuck, love,” he groaned.

You looked up at him again, tongue dragging over your lower lip. You held his gaze for a moment, breathless anticipation hanging in the air. With deliberate movements, you licked him from root to tip. His hips jutted up towards you, a wordless plea for more.

Wrapping your lips around him, you were slow to take him in. His fingers tightened in your hair, your name falling from his lips like a prayer. Drawing back, tongue pressing against that spot under the head at drove him wild. His hips rose to meet you as you slid your lips down again, taking him as deeply as you could.

“Have I told you how perfect you are?” he asked, voice strained.

You hummed around him, watching the way his head fell back, fingers tightening in your hair as he guided you. Your cheeks hollowed, tongue teasing him. Worshipping him was the easiest thing in the world, and you could do it for hours on end if he let you. You were slow with him, taking your time, wanting him to feel every single moment of pleasure. It was his reward, after all. He should be able to enjoy all of it.

Touching him was one of the greatest pleasures in life. Warm skin beneath your palms, mouth working him, cupping and tugging and skimming fingertips until he was making those whining noises that were like a drug to you.

The fingers in your hair dragged you off him, pulling you up until you were back in his lap. Cheeks flushed and eyes dark, he kissed you until flames were consuming you and you were nothing but want. His hands ran down your spine, leaving your nerves lit up in their wake. His hands grasped your ass, pushing you against him until you hissed.

“This is your reward, ghost boy,” you said into his mouth.

“Don’t care,” he growled, “want you.”

You stood, long enough to strip your trousers from your legs, flinging them to one side. He shuffled his down his legs. Fingers dug into your hips as he pulled you closer again, right between his legs. You lent down, kissing him until your head turned dizzy.

“One moment.”

You stepped back, disappearing into the darkness of the bedroom. With the ghost of a memory, you picked your way across the room, rifling through the bedside drawer. Returning, you tossed the condom at him. He didn’t hesitate, tearing the packaging open. You took it from his hands, slow to roll it down his leaking erection, stroking over the hardened length until his hands had grabbed you, pulling you back onto his lap.

“Do you know how beautiful you are?” he asked as his lips trailed over your skin.

You huffed a soft chuckle, letting yourself arch into him, grinding unforgivingly against him, the hot throbbing between your legs driving you crazy. His hands kept stroking over your skin, touching you in every way you would allow and when he looked at you it was like he couldn’t believe you were there with him. That you were allowing him to have you. That somehow he’d gotten luckier than he ever could have believed he would be.

“Lars, please,” you begged, needing him inside you.

“Say it again,” he growled, pressing you more insistently against him.

“Please,” you whined.

He lifted you, lining himself up with your entrance. You pushed down, slow, taking him within you, an almost sob coming out with the relief of the feeling. You paused, adjusting to the feeling. His eyes caught yours, holding you there, lips kiss stung and eyes molten.

“You’re wonderful,” he praised, “you feel so good.”

In response you began to move, rising until he was barely in you before you lowered again. The soft groan that came from him was music to your ears. Doing it again, you lingered at the height of your movement. His fingers dug into your hips and pulled you down, his own hips rising to meet you.

“So good,” he groaned again.

You pace increased, watching the way his face changed. Pleasure rippled out and you felt the need to kiss him again. Biting down on the full lower lip that had been tempting you for so long, he gripped you harder.

“Can’t believe anyone would give this up,” he groaned, hands sliding around your body, cupping your breasts again. Thumbs flicking over hardened nipples before he began to roll them between thumb and forefinger.

“Lars,” you moaned, “fuck.”

Your head fell back, his name sweet on your tongue. He lent forward, sucking one into his mouth as you continued to bounce on his cock.

“Never going to let you go,” he mumbled into your skin, “mine. All mine.”

You dragged him back into a kiss, muffling your moans into his mouth. You could feel it, when he began to get close, the way his body began to tighten beneath you. One hand travelled down your body, dipping between your legs. His finger drew tight circles over your clit as he continued to pound into you. Reaching further, deeper in you, over and over he hit that spot within you only he had ever been able to find.

You weren’t in control of your body any more, moving on instinct. Chasing your pleasure, desperate to give him his, it was nothing but rutting against him.

He came, teeth sinking into your shoulder as he tried to muffle himself, going rigid beneath you. You made a high keening noise, continuing to move against him. His fingers were still moving over the bundle of nerves between your thighs even as he began to catch his breath.

His name was long and drawn out as your own pleasure crashed into you. Your internal walls were clamping down on him, keeping him within you. The way you kissed him was sloppy, tongue and teeth and mumbled praise.

You slumped against him, face coming to rest against his neck. His hand was stroking along your spine, the other arm curled around your waist, keeping you in place. You placed slow kisses along the skin in front of you, pressing closer as the chill of the air began to penetrate the cloud of pleasure you’d found yourself in.

“I’ve hurt you,” he said.

His thumb brushed over the imprint of his teeth on your shoulder. You looked down at it.

“It was kinda hot,” you said, “you’ve marked me. Everyone will know I’m yours.”

“And are you?” He looked up into your face, emotionally open, almost vulnerable, “mine, that is.”

“I’m completely yours,” you said, sitting up properly again.

Cupping both of his cheeks, you forced him to continue to look at you. His lips ticked up into a small smile, and you found yourself smiling back at him.

“Of course I’m yours, ghost boy,” you said.

“And I’m yours,” he said, softening before your eyes.

The way you kissed him this time was sweeter, softer, full of so much more emotion.

“So, did you enjoy your reward, ghost boy?” you asked when you drew away.

“I don’t know,” he said, “you might have to try again.”

You shoved his shoulder but you were laughing and his eyes were twinkling.

“Asshole,” you laughed.

You wondered if maybe he liked the name calling because the way he looked at you was with reverence. Like you were something wonderful he’d caught in the circle of his arms. It made you soften, knowing how safe you were with him, how he wasn’t going to hurt you like your asshole ex had.

“You know I always enjoy it with you,” he said, catching your chin.

When he kissed you, you melted against him, knowing this time was so different because he was so different. He was so much better.

#lars pinfield x reader #lars pinfield imagine #lars pinfield #anon #request

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miloisdone1 · 1 day

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☆ “I don’t…. I don’t like girls” part 1

Warnings: cursing, drinking, internalized homophobia

Summary: nicks bestfriend has been acting distant and ignoring him for weeks on end now. nick is at some party and drunk out of his mind… he decides to call his bestfriend.

Saying Nick was drunk would be an understatement. It was nearing the end of a party thrown down at the beach where the typical teenagers liked to throw parties, and he was definitely more than a few drinks deep at this point. He pulled his phone out, too drunk to stop himself as he calls y/n, one of his best friends who he hasn't seen in a few weeks. y/n has been acting distant and very cold and nick has no idea why.

y/n sits on the edge of his window, hitting his burnt ass penjiman bored out of his mind when he gets a call from nick. y/ns eyes widen and his body seems to freeze. “fuck” he mumbles to himself. y/n sighs and stares at his screen considering declining while hitting his cart again, his thumb moves to the decline but he stops and moves his thumb to the right, putting his phone to his ear.

“hey nick” y/n says with a dry whisper, shutting his eyes slightly while exhaling the smoke.

Nick blinks in surprise as y/n pick up the phone. He tries to stifle a yawn as he speaks, realizing he sounds more than a little intoxicated. "hey." Is all Nick seems to get out.

“hey” y/n says back softly. y/n has been soooo distant from his bestfriend. truth is,recently y/n has realized in the past few weeks that he is, in fact, gay. He's known that on some level for a long time, but it's finally become real to him. Too real. He’s disgusted with himself, he knows being gay isn’t a bad thing but he just doesn’t understand why he has to be. On top on that he's beginning to realize that he has feelings for Nick. He doesn’t know if Nick even likes boys. He can't fully admit it to himself yet, and he hasn't told anyone else either, but that feeling of shame, guilt and disgust is definitely there. It’s there anytime Nick pops in his mind.

"What're you up to?" Nick asks, trying to sound sober though he doesn't completely manage that

As y/n’s sitting at his window, he tries to speak confidently, like everything's fine and he isn't bothered at all by nicks call, but he still sounds somewhat shaky, his voice wavering just a bit.

"Uh, nothing really, just chillin'… what about you?” y/n fiddles with the sleeve of his hoodie.

"Just at some party ." Nick chuckles a bit. "God, you should've gone, you're missing out." He’s trying to make this sound like some normal call.

Y/n giggles a little to himself at nicks drunk voice as he's sitting at his window - he can't help it, even though he really wants to keep on with his distant act. It’s nice to act like everything is normal between them for a second. something about the call with nick just got his heart rate soaring, and he's got a flutter in his stomach. He's trying to hide the fact that he's thinking about his new found feelings, but he can't help smiling a bit and getting a little giddy.

"What are you doing instead of being here?" Nick says snapping y/n out of his thoughts trying to sound more curious than he is. In reality, he's slightly miffed that y/n didn't show up even though y/n knew damn well he wanted him here.

there is some silence between the boys

"You should've come..." nick says more quietly, hoping to prompt y/n to say something more.

"Yeah, sorry I went out with someone but I'm back home now." y/n’s tone is a little dry as he says it, and he's trying to sound casual and like it wasn't a big deal, but you can tell there's more at play than he's letting on. Y/n’s mouth tenses when he says that, because he's lying - he didn't go out with anyone, he’s been sitting alone in his room all night listening to music and getting high.

“Went out with someone? Like a date or something?” Nicks tone completely changes .

“no… just hanged out that’s all” y/n lies through his teeth

“Whatever,” nick says, his tone getting more and more irritated. “So you just hung out with some random girl and didn’t even consider going to a party with me?”

y/n mentally groans at the word “girl” and still hasn’t spoken a word. “uh-“

"You're seriously passing up a great party just to 'hang out' with some girl?” Nick interrupts, his tone clearly accusatory. He's got a bit of a jealous streak in him, so he gets kind of pissy when people spend time with other people instead of him. Especially if it's y/n.

“Me and you have hardly hanged out anyway.” y/n says through a whisper. he knows this conversation won’t end unless he is cold. every fiber in his body tells him not to say things like this to nick but he can’t help but push Nick away.

“Yeah…” nick says quietly. “That’s kind of what I’m trying to change, you know? We haven’t hung out as much lately and that sucks… I just don’t understand.” Nick slurs a bit while rubbing his eyes, frustrated.

there’s just silence on the other end. Nick thinks of why on earth y/n would be so distant and ignoring his best friend.

“You’re not mad, are you?” Nick says, sounding slightly more drunk as he asks that while his voice breaks a bit . There’s a clear tone of insecurity in his voice though, and a bit of annoyance at having been ignored for the past few weeks.

“no I’m not mad” y/n says through a shaky voice. he hates that he made someone feel like this, especially Nick.

“Good,” Nick says quickly, not really believing him but not wanting to argue with him either but his drunk brain is letting him say whatever he thinks. “Cause you got no reason to be mad at me anyways.”

“alright…” is all y/n seems to get out. every part in him is telling him to start apologizing and tell him everything but he bites his tounge, staring at his feet dangling from his window.

"So, you gonna come meet up with me or what?" Nick slurs.

y/n sits at his window still biting his tounge. he can’t help it… he misses nick. y/n sighs. “fuck it… fine I’ll sneak out.”

"Good," Nick mutters sounding more relieved than he should be. His slightly drunken state only amplifies this relief and annoyance into something a bit more pronounced. "So you're coming then?"

“mhm” y/n hums while grabbing his backpack.

"Good," Nick repeats "Welllll, hurry up. I'm kinda drunk right now and you don't want to keep me waiting." He says playfully, trying to mask his worry of what’s gonna happen when he try’s to talk to y/n later

“alright bye” y/n says dryly, he’s trying his best to seem nonchalant and not nervous.

“Bye,” nick mutters, a little hurt by his dismissive attitude. He hangs up and puts his phone away, waiting by the fire pit for y/n to show up.

Nick leans against some tree, looking at the fire, listening to the music that's being blasted through portable speakers nearby. Nothing really feels like anything is real right now for nick.

"Come onnn," nick complains to nobody in particular, glancing at his phone every now and then. He's been waiting for a little while, and he's getting increasingly impatient just sitting around and waiting for him to show up.

then he sees y/n from a distance. he’s talking to some people and dapping them up. Nick stares at how y/n talks to the others, he’s charming to say the least. Why is he only distant with me?

Nick gets lost in his thoughts and looks up as he sees him approaching, he blinks as he realizes how long he's actually been staring off into space for. He blinks a few times in rapid succession to try and focus back, and he gives y/n a half-assed wave as he approaches.

“hey” nick says trying to hide how buzzed he actually is. "Took you long enough."

y/n rolls his eyes and sits down beside Nick. He doesn’t know what to say, he never seems to around nick. he takes a shaky breath and runs his fingers through his hair.

"So did you meet up with some girl or something?" Nick asks, his tone teasing but also slightly agitated. He's still a little annoyed that he didn't show up to the party, even though he knows it's not really his place to control who he hangs out with.

y/n grabs a little on his hair and groans* “it was just my friend”

Nick gives a mock dramatic groan. "Right, your 'friend'... I'm so sure." his tone dripping with sarcasm and doubt.

“it seriously was just a friend but whatever…” y/n mutters while bitting his inner cheek, while matching nicks stance and leaning his head on the tree.

"Right, sure," nick says, still skeptical. "Whatever you say. So are you going to start hanging out with 'friends' more often and ignoring me? Is that how it's gonna be now?"

y/ns heart sinks into his stomach.”I’m not ignoring you-“

"Really? 'Cause you haven't made any effort to hang out with me lately, and you know damn well you could've come to the party but ignored me as usual instead."So what gives?"

y/n stares down at his feet and takes a deep breath, shaking his head. “I don’t wanna talk about this” why the fuck did I even come here y/n thinks to himself.

"You don't want to talk about this? "Why the hell not? You haven't been around for like a month, and I thought you could at least come to one fucking party with me today."

nick raises his voice a bit looking at anything but y/n. he just doesn’t get it, y/n has always been a person that is very stubborn. nick has tried to pry in the past to get him to talk about his feelings but he’s never succeeded.

y/n squeezed his eyes shut. he knew he should have came and everything Nick is saying is valid. “I’m here now” he whispers while glancing at nick, then bringing his eyes back down to his beat up shoes.

"Yeah, but you're only here now because I was getting pissy about you ignoring me! I had to call you and practically beg you to come, and you're just acting like this is fine. You weren't even planning on coming!" Nick now raises his voice, the alcohol making him have no filter.

“you just don’t know shit about me nick ok?” y/n snaps back, matching nicks tone. Nick just stares a him.

"The hell do you mean I don't know anything about you? You're my best friend! I know you better than anyone else in this damn town” nick is now yelling

Y/n’s jaw clenches and he takes a shaky breath “it’s just-“

"It's just what?" Nick spats at him

y/ns fingernails dig deep into his palms holding back tears. Taking deeps breaths. Doing anything he can to calm down. don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry. He opens his mouth trying to form words. ” I don’t….I don’t like girls.” y/ns cheeks are now full of tears. no way he just said that out loud.

Nicks expression changes immediately, going from annoyance to confusion to realization. He freezes for a moment, and he doesn't say anything as he tries to digest this new piece of information. He thought he knew so much about him. truth is, y/n doesn’t know everything about nick either.

to be continued

#Spotify #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo smut #nick sturniolo x male reader #sturniolo fanfic

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coolshadowtwins · 6 hours

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Barbie Princess and the Pauper.

SVSSS.

If you make SY Annalise, and SJ Erika, that fits with their backstories. The princess is the rich kid and the pauper is the former slave. (The image of SJ glaring at SY instead of singing ‘I’m just like you~’ is so funny to me.)

Then that would make LBH Julian, Annalise’s tutor. As I started writing this post, I was going to argue flipping SY and SJ around, because it would make sense for LBH to be King Dominic, but then I actually thought things through.

You have Prince Shen Yuan, who is going to be married to a foreign king to save his kingdom. He doesn’t want to do it. All he wants to do is read his trashy books, and is actually a little in love with his servant LBH, but he will for his people. Duty and all that.

Shen Jiu works in a dress shop in town. They don’t own him, technically. Not in the same way his past masters did. But in every way that matters, really. He owes them a great deal of money, so he can’t leave. And it’s… fine. It’s not the worst job, even if he will be working there forever after his childhood friend tragically abandoned him. But he gets food most days and the ladies (other than the owner) like him. This doesn’t stop him from being a angry, bitter man, of course. He’s still SJ after all lol

They may or may not sing a duet about doing what’s right, in the name of duty.

SY wants to see the city, just one time before he’s trapped in the castle! So LBH takes him downtown, where SY runs into SJ. They may or may not have a musical number about how much they look alike.

Then, like the movie, SY gets kidnapped. I don’t know who Preminger is here. I thought about it, and I can’t decide who to put there. It can’t be LBH’s family, tho, because then why is he there as a servant??? Anyway, SY gets kidnapped, so LBH drags SJ kicking and screaming to the castle to play the Prince while he investigates on the side. They may or may not have a musical number about LBH trying to teach SJ to be a Prince.

But then SJ has to go on a date with SY’s fiancé! And it turns out!!! The foreign king is YQY!!!!

YQY had thought SJ dead. He’s been practically a zombie for years, believing that he had failed SJ, and ruling the kingdom on autopilot. Why is he a king now? Uh, long lost son or something. Anyway, when he sees SJ, pretending to be SY, he freezes up. But then he convinces himself that it can’t be SJ! Because this is SY, obviously, who has very dedicated records keeping tract of the fact that yes, the Prince was indeed the prince his entire life and not a former slave. So he spends this entire date upset that he’s falling in love and betraying/replacing SJ.

On SJ’s part, he’s also upset about how much he likes YQY. He doesn’t recognize YQY as Qi-Ge, of course, but it still feels like he’s replacing him. Also, this isn’t his life. This isn’t his fiancé. Either SY will come back, and marry him and SJ will go back to the dress shop alone. Or SJ will stay the Prince forever, with the knowledge that none of this was every his, and he only got it by stealing another man’s life.

They may or may not sing a romantic duet that hides all the angst they are feeling.

Of course, SJ gets found out rather quickly after that. LBH has been caught and thrown in with SY, leaving no one to stop SJ from going to jail for the disappearance of the Prince. YQY is devastated to hear that SJ would do something like that, but more than that, YQY is elated to hear that this isn’t SY. It’s an unknown SY look alike, and how many of those can there be out there??? This has to be SJ, and now YQY has to help him out of prison.

Then SY and LBH escape, and come save the day, and find precious geodes to save the kingdom, etc etc etc. SY and LBH confess to each other, and live happily ever after, while YQY (after breaking SJ out of prison in a very illegal way) tearfully tells SJ that he is sorry and that he thought he was dead and he couldn’t find him and-

SJ, who just got broken out of prison by the foreign king that he had went on a date with earlier by pretending to be someone else, can only stare as he realizes that this is Qi-Ge.

SJ strings him along for a year until he feels he can accept any apology. And then they get married, because he is not passing up the chance to be a ruler of a country. Who do you think he is??

#this got so QiJiu heavy?#I didn’t mean to do that lol #svsss #shen qingqiu #shen yuan #shen jiu #yue qingyuan #luo binghe #qijiu #bingqiu #barbie princess and the pauper

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myinterestsvary-writes · 1 year

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I was just watching musicals the other day (specifically Hadestown based on popular demand by polls) and I recently found out about the Ouran musical, tell me how I’m being given the opportunity now to watch it in full seemingly holy shit. Like even if it isn’t actually the musical, I will die happy seeing glimpses of it!!!

#ouran musical #I don’t even like musicals either that’s the thing #based day of my life bio and phy be damned #staying up night watching and rewatching

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waugh-bao · 5 months

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#the tickets for the new stones tour are 100% ‘this is the last American tour we can get insured for and we know it’ prices #either that or they’ve really become unconscionably greedy #I was put in charge of buying tickets for 2 friends and myself #it was going to be a ‘girls doing grad school in the us do a rock concert’ thing #looked at presale a few minutes ago #and a single seat like three sections from the nosebleeds in a big northeastern football stadium #is $630 #before Ticketmaster fees #get fucked #the only way I’m even paying $260 per ticket (absolute cheapest) is if you still have your actual drummer #I’ll check again on general sale for Friday #but I think we’re going to skip the Hackney Diamonds clusterfuck entirely #(I will spend $ to see live music. I don’t have a problem with it. I dropped $250 for front row машина времени tickets last year. but the #price to value ratio is so not here)

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flowers-that-sing · 9 months

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how to cure the sudden onset of horrible and inexplicable rage

#bobbi babbling #ive tried punching my mattress and screaming and jumping around and throwing pillows #im still furious #there’s literally no reason for it either #it’s just because i have fucking BPD #i’m so angry #my voice is too high i sound like a girl and i cant hit any of yhe notes i want #and the singer is a woman! and she has a deeper voice than i do!!!#i hate my voice!#and my parents dont give a shit about anything i have to say but they expect me to just listen to them #and be the perfect obedient little puppet of a daughter #they didnt even do anything actually. they just dont care about music or stranger things so they dont listen when i talk about either #but they don’t care about ANYTHING i say! they dont even care about ME or what makes me happy!#all my dad cares about is if im STUDYING #I DONT WANT TO STUDYY IM ANGRY #I HATE EVERYBODY AND I HATE MYSELF #i want everybody to just go away #i want them all to just fucking die!#no i dont. thats bad. i dont want them to die.#I HATE EVERYTHING #I WANNA JUMP OUT A WINDOW #I HATE EVERYONE #i hate having fucking BPD what is WRONG with me #WHY AM I SO ANGRY?!#bpd posting #and im so unremarkable #everyone is better than me #everyone is talented at SOMETHING #everyone else is special #why am i not remarkable at anything

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i-fucked-your-mom · 2 months

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Booked tickets for the emo night at the nightclub, don’t know if it’s weird to go on my own or not but fuck it I’m not missing out because my friends don’t drink 🙌

#like full respect to them probably good to not pick up the habit #i just tend to not go to these things because there’s no one to go with #but the music sounds like it’s gonna be really good and I could use a drink so even if I look weird on my own I’ll probably have fun!#i doubt I’m the only person who has friends that don’t drink or go out aswell so it’s not like it’s unexplainable if anyone asks either lol

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theresa-of-liechtenstein · 1 year

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man i’m still so hung up on the way that this professor handled music in the philippines. there were Choices made and though i agreed with a few of them, i found most of them straight up fucking baffling and it was disheartening to not feel heard or invited to contribute to the discussion despite this subject matter being uhhhhhhh my fucking lived experience just because i didn’t pay a twenty dollar membership fee to the fil-am org

#if ppl actually walk away thinking kulintang = progressive and rondalla = conservative i’m going to scream and bite things #BARELY touched on actual music happening in the philippines. most of it was fil am stuff #like sure apo hiking was mentioned but THAT WAS THE ONLY ONE #and it was to juxtapose american junk with something a child of the diaspora made #which was filled with like AAVE appropriation and was mostly in english like hello?#and the point was ‘see this is male dominated and the new one is intersectional feminism’ YOURE MISSING THE POINT #OH MH FUCKING GOD #AMERICAN JUNK SUCCINCTLY CRITICIZES AMERICAN PHYSICAL AND CULTURAL HEGEMONY #ITS FRUSTRATION AND LAMENT AND RESISTANCE BUBBLING UNDER OUR ‘FRIENDLY FACES’#the new song the fil am woman made covers WAY too much im sorry #i couldn’t understand it and i showed it to my parents and they were like we don’t understand this either lol #half of its not even in any dialect of filipino language #so we’re appropriating Black American art—music created by another oppressed group—and calling it SEA music. cool cool #the only thing i liked was this assigned book i need to finish it but it criticized the activities of fil-am uni orgs #it helped me verbalize just what put me off joining these group #NOT EVEN BAYAN KO. WE DIDNT EVEN TALK ABOUT BAYAN KO?#AND NO ASIN EITHER I WAS SO MAD #UGH i’m glad we’re done with this unit i was really really disappointed by it #NO WAIT THE FUNNIEST THING IS WERE GONNA CALL BAYANIHAN DANCE COMPANY CULTURAL APPROPRIATION #BUT WERE NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT HOW FIL AMS CASUALLY APPROPRIATE BLACK AMERICAN ART WHILE ANTIBLACK RACISM IS SO PERVSSIVE IN THE COMMUNITY #HELLO?

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colors-of-my-heart · 6 months

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i really hope ghost wins the Grammy for best metal performance, not because I think they deserve it more than the other nominees but because it would piss off a lot of metalheads and I think that would be really funny

#not to say they don’t deserve it on their own merits lmao #I like ghost I swear #the way some metalheads hate ghost and their fans with a passion is just so embarassing #like I wouldn’t 100% classify ghost as metal either- some of their songs more than others though absolutely #if you held a gun to my head I’d probably say hard rock with goth and symphonic influences #but so fucking what I’m not gonna be a dick about it #i need to grasp some of these people by the shoulders and rattle them around until they understand listening to heavy music #doesn’t make them superior or an authority on what is real metal and what isn’t #the gatekeeping and general snobbishness in the metal community has been so much lately #music is an escape not a major league sport #leave it. let people enjoy things. you don’t need to comment on every one of their posts that they’re posers and actually pop #one no one cares and two no they’re not have you ever heard pop before in your life. even if they were that’s not an inherently bad thing #just because you don’t like a certain genre doesn’t mean it’s objectively bad. it means you don’t like it dingbat #anyways that turned into a rant #this post was meant to be silly #im done now #i don’t know if this post will be controversial

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cryptid-on-a-string · 2 years

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there’s no better feeling than doing something between dancing and happy-stimming to really good songs at night

#lately I’ve been happy stimming to music a lot in this certain way that I don’t really know how to describe but its really fun :3 #It’s something that kinda looks like dancing but it comes from synchro decking actually #but it’s not either of those things rn because I’m just stimming :3 #Sorry if nothing I’m saying is making any sense I don’t feel like making sense right now #I love when I notice certain movements from everyday life coming into the way I stim every once and a while #synchro always has that effect even a couple months after the season ends bc it’s just so similar to straight up dancing #:))))))

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seilon · 2 years

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I have 15 years of piano experience, several years experience playing keyboard in an ensemble / comping, vocal training/experience, and have picked up guitar recently (about 5 months ago ish). i have the credentials now how the fuck do i join a band

#kibumblabs #i imagine you need friends and that’s probably my issue #i just have. no friends #I’m still beating myself up a bit for ghosting a friend of mine who admittedly I couldn’t do much with right now anyway cause I live 400 #miles away– but partly because he would have been my best possible shot at starting a band as he’s a very experienced and talented guitarist #and bassist and so on (the kinda guy who knows some amount of like every instrument) to the point where we’d talk about music theory #sometimes just. because. and I know is taste is good too #and I can not believe I never had the balls to be like hey. like. you wanna play together at some point #god I am mentally banging my head against a wall #anyway so now I’m here and I have no friends and no connections and my school doesn’t even have music classes/clubs/etc at all #so. fuck me dude #sigh #maybe I should focus on retraining my voice first anyway cause it’s been thoroughly fucked up by testosterone and I’ve been set back. a lot.#i really need to work on that either with a teacher or with online resources or something cause it’s been eating me alive lately it bothers #me so much. and when I see myself playing with a band i really wanted to be a singer specifically despite my piano experience (tho I know of #course I can do both) and now I definitely don’t feel confident enough in my voice to be a lead so. I’d have to. work on that a lot first #hehdhsgshhddhdhdj torture #one thing that gives me some hope is that I am in probably the best location to find Something music-wise. i mean I’m right next to #fucking LA so I mean. yeah. had an Uber driver the other day talk about how he moved all the way from Poland to SoCal to try and find work #doing music cause it was his passion and all that and at some point he asked me if I did anything live and of course I said no (I’d already #mentioned the instruments I play and whatnot) and when I said it was cause I didn’t know anyone he was like aahhh that’s no excuse! you can #find something! you live in Orange County! you just gotta keep looking and go to more places people like that get together #and I haven’t stopped thinking about that #thank you polish red hot chili peppers enthusiast u are an inspiration

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nobody-knose--archive · 2 years

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i seem to have this tendency irl pertaining to talking about media. wherein every time anything like tv, movies, music, et cetera is brought up i’m sure to have something to contribute to the topic, but it isn’t ever something that i actually care about. it’ll be something i’m capable of talking about & don’t feel negatively towards & that’s it, not an actual interest of mine, not something i give thought to, not something i have major feelings towards, so on, so forth

#the other day i was with some schoolmates and when the conversation turned to horror movies you know what i brought up?#the evil dead. they didn’t seem to recognize it. i can barely claim anything more than recognizing it #i told them to watch army of darkness like i have ever done such a thing. i’m aware Of the series peripherally sure #i have a some sort of attachment to it but why does that mean i tell people to watch it like i care seriously about it #and when the topic became music i said i like prog rock (true albeit reductive). the band i recommended they listen to?#thee oh sees. what you should know about them: it’s not the kind of music i would give charlie #it’s not the kind of music i like a whole lot. it’s not even really prog rock!#i’ve tried listening to various albums of theirs to get my opinion. favorite album is either carrion crawler or mutilator defeated at last #favorite song from them is chem-farmer. and. it’s not music that compels me terribly. i don’t care to hear all their albums #yet i told them to check it out. i couldn’t tell you why darling #tis i #admittedly unspecific dialogue #uq

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bootleg-nessie · 6 months

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Rating band names based on their accuracy:

(I keep updating this list so check back later)

The Beatles: 3/10. None of these people are beetles, they’re just a bunch of fruity guys from Liverpool with matching haircuts

(Edit: changed from 0/10 to 3/10 because John Lennon beat his wife)

Pink Floyd: 4/10. There is not a single person named Floyd in the band, but some of the members do arguably look kinda pink

Nirvana: 10/10. Getting high and listening to Nirvana is roughly what I imagine actual nirvana to be like

Foo Fighters: either 0/10 or 10/10. I have never seen foo in real life so either they’re pretending to fight a problem that doesn’t exist or they’re doing an absolutely fantastic job of fighting it

The Eagles: 0/10. Same as the Beatles, there is not a single eagle in this band. The name is misleading and we have all been lied to

Queen: 6/10. Partial points for Freddie Mercury

Led Zeppelin: 0/10. I don’t think any of these guys have ever even seen a zeppelin, let alone one made of lead. A lead balloon would crash faster than my hopes and dreams

The Rolling Stones: 3/10. There is not a single stone in this band. Some points added because I’m pretty sure they rolled quite a few

U2: 0/10. Despite what the name says, I am not a member of this band

Metallica: 9/10. Naming a metal band “Metallica” is like naming your dog “doggy”

Red Hot Chili Peppers: 2/10. These guys are not chili peppers. They’re not even that hot, let alone red hot

Guns N’ Roses: 0/10. How the fuck could a gun or a flower play music

Backstreet Boys: ?/10. Depends entirely on their current given location

Simon and Garfunkel: 10/10. No notes

The Doors: 1/10. Jim Morrison is kinda shaped like a door tho

Chicago: 4/10. The number of people in this band does not come even remotely close to the population of Chicago. Points added because it originated in Chicago

Earth, wind, and fire: 2/10. This is even more innacurate than Chicago. Points added because wind instruments were often used

Def Leppard: 3/10. There is not a single leopard in this band. Some of the members are probably kinda deaf by now tho

The Beach Boys: ?/10. Accuracy depends entirely on location

The Black Eyed Peas: 6/10. Not sure what the hell an ‘eyed pea’ is but the black part is pretty accurate

Imagine Dragons: ?/10. Depends entirely on whether or not they’re thinking about dragons.

Cage the Elephant: 1/10. Why would you do that. Let the elephant go

Green Day: 0/10. They’re not even green

The Police: 0/10. There is not a single cop in this band

KISS: 5/10. I’m sure they probably kissed sometimes

The Monkees: 0/10. Are you fucking kidding me

We Butter the Bread with Butter: 8/10. I can’t verify this but I have no reason to suspect that they’d lie. Butter seems like the most logical thing to butter bread with

King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard: 0/10. I got really excited about the concept of a lizard wizard only to be let down. My disappointment is immeasurable

They Might Be Giants: 5/10. I googled everyone in this band’s height, the tallest guy’s only 6’1 so I wouldn’t exactly consider him a giant. Then again, I can’t really argue because the claim was only that they MIGHT be giants

The Presidents of the United States of America: 2/10. None of these people are Joe Biden nor are any of them former presidents. This is incredibly misleading. I’m pretty sure “Lump” was written about my first girlfriend tho so I’ll give them a point or two

Gorillaz: 2/10 Not quite but we’re kinda close genetically so I’ll give them partial credit

The Killers: ?/10. I have no way of verifying if they’ve actually killed before but the fact that they’re not in prison tells me probably not

The Offspring: 10/10. These guys are definitely somebody’s offspring

Arctic Monkeys: 1/10. They are neither monkeys nor are they from the arctic

Thirty Seconds to Mars: 1/10. It takes WAY longer to get to mars than that

Beastie Boys: 8/10. They’re pretty beast on the guitar

Jimmy Eat World: 1/10. Slow the fuck down Jimmy, you’re biting off way more than you can chew

Hole: 9/10. One point deducted because I’m pretty sure they had more than one hole

Rage Against the Machine: 10/10. They did exactly that

Alice In Chains: 0/10. This is illegal. Let Alice go

The Band: 10/10. This could not possibly be more accurate

Nine Inch Nails: 1/10. I can’t find any good pictures of their feet but from what I can tell their fingernails definitely aren’t nine inches long

Bush: ?/10. Not quite sure about this one, felt uncomfortable asking

The Who: 2/10. I’m not dealing with this “Who’s On First” bullshit

Radiohead: 0/10. Not a single person in this band has a radio for a head

Queens of the Stone Age: 0/10. This band should be called “five random dudes from the modern era” but FRDFTMA is a bit of a mouthful

Soundgarden: 2/10. Sound does not grow in the garden

Sonic Youth: 5/10. They’re not exactly youth anymore but the sonic part checks out

Talking heads: 8/10. There’s more to the band than just a bunch of disembodied heads but the heads do tend to talk

The Cranberries: 0/10. Decent music but I only added them so that the Beatles and Freddie Mercury weren’t the only fruits on this list

The Wiggles: 8/10. They do tend to wiggle a lot

Blue Man Group: 10/10. Yep!

Weezer: 5/10. They all look like they definitely have asthma

Limp Bizkit: 3/10. While the visual image of baked goods playing the guitar is hilarious, Fred durst is not a biscuit. Points added because he probably has erectile dysfunction

Stone Temple Pilots: 0/10. None of these people are accredited as being licensed to pilot anything, much less an entire stone temple. Stone temples don’t need pilots anyways

Wasted Youth: 8/10. I guess it really kinda depends on how you frame it but yeah, they probably wasted a lot of it

Them Crooked Vultures: 3/10. These are people and not birds but Dave Grohl’s posture is kinda bad and John Paul Jones is so old that his neck kinda looks like a vulture’s so I added some points

Audioslave: 0/10. Slavery is illegal

Traveling Wilburys: 4/10. Sure, they traveled a lot but not a single one of those lying bastards was named Wilbury

D12: 6/12. There were only 6 people in this band

NWA: 10/10. I’m a little too white to safely comment on this one but I’d say they nailed it

Jet: 1/10. A real jet would be way too loud

Goldfinger: 0/10. Not a single person in this band has a finger made out of gold

No Doubt: ?/10. I can’t really be too sure how Gwen Stefani felt but I think it’s probably a safe assumption that she had some doubts

The White Stripes: 3/10. I bet if you stripped them down naked and made them stand shoulder to shoulder and squinted really hard they’d probably look more like white stripes

Screaming trees: 3/10. They scream occasionally

Garbage: 2/10. I think they’re being a little harsh on themselves, their music isn’t THAT bad

Butthole Surfers: 5/10. Not even gonna touch this one

Megadeth: 3/10. To be fair, some of the former members are dead but only a little amount of death, not mega death

Dead Kennedys: 2/10. Last I checked Kennedy was still dead but neither he nor his clones are members of this band

Cake: 0/10. The cake is a lie

Cracker: 8/10. Most of them are

Tool: 7/10. I don’t know much about their music but they sure look like tools

Counting Crows: ?/10. Is this what emo kids do instead of counting sheep? Accuracy depends on whatever bird they happen to be counting at the moment

Dave Matthews Band: 10/10. It certainly is

Oasis: 1/10. Their music is the opposite of an oasis

Blur: 2/10. They are not that fast

Barenaked Ladies: 0/10. If I wanted to be this disappointed I’d reestablish a connection with my biological father instead

Meat Puppets: 10/10. Technically, aren’t we all?

Live: 8/10. Apparently they still do live shows but I deducted some points because I’ve only ever heard their music on Spotify

ABBA: 9/10. I’m still not giving any points to Guns N’ Roses but that’s mostly out of spite

5 Finger Death Punch: 8/10 I guess it probably depends on how hard you hit them but this seems to be the usual amount of fingers to punch somebody with

All American Rejects: 9/10. They’re all rejects from America so I don’t really see any issue with this

T. Rex: 0/10. Even if any of these people WAS a T. Rex I don’t think their arms would be long enough to play their instruments

Free: 0/10. Unless you steal their music, in which case it becomes a 10/10

The Strokes: 3/10. To my knowledge, none of them have had a stroke but I still added a few points because the name was probably accurate for other reasons

The Smashing Pumpkins ?/10. Another thing I have no way of verifying but this seems like a waste of perfectly good pumpkins

Therapy?: ?/10. The hell are they asking me for? I don’t know their medical history

Twenty One Pilots. 0/10. There’s only two of them and neither is a licensed pilot

Finger Eleven: 0/10. Leave the poor Stranger Things girl out of this

Fall Out Boy: 9/10. I conferred with an expert on this one who confirmed that they are in fact boys who had a falling out

Cream: 8/10. Considering this was the OG supergroup I’m sure a lot of people did in fact cream when their music came out

Edit: humans aren’t fucking monkeys. Stop saying we are

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