#I got to use my Russian (speaking) more in 3 days than I have in the last 6 months combined | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

scoutsbabygirl · 9 months

Note

I would like to see headcanons from you about how your favorite mercenaries realize that they fall in love with the reader :333

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my first request! hi my little meow meow! i wrote for all the mercs bc why not?! fluff below the cut! also written in headcannon form! idk how to write for soldier (i just don't see the appeal)

scout:

-why did ms. pauling have to be lesbian???

-when you came along he was immediately drawn to you, maybe it was because you were new and young

-he's way too cocky around you and acts like he doesn't care about you

-after a stern talking to by spy, jeremy decides to ask you out

-other than sports, jeremy loves to paint and draw and is surprisingly good at it. he asks you to make some art with him and of course he draws you

-this melts your heart and you've fallen for him. he's just waiting for the right time to confess and ask you to be his

soldier:

-man has zhanna

pyro:

-hearing you say "you're all good! no worries!" after he lights the hem of you shirt, almost burning you alive. he feels a spark...literally

-pyro slinks around you where ever you may be. in the kitchen baking? pyros throwing flour all over the kitchen. working out? pyros cheering you on. got some spare time? pyros got some crayons, colored pencils and a bunch of coloring books

-spending time with a masked man that the team fears has him drawn to you. the mercs warned you about him, you never felt intimated by pyro yet understood yet you could understand why he was treated differently

-if you're ever sad he will give you the best comfort. he's never shown himself to the mercs but once he sees you cry the mask is coming off and expect kisses to be planted over you

-its a very intimate moment and he just admits it then. he's never had anyone love him back, he's always been depicted as a monster.

heavy:

- won't approach you first. he waits for you to make a move. he knows his size is intimidating in itself and doesn't want to scare you away.

-he's a gentle giant. he's very careful with his words and movements. he's so paranoid that you'll view him as something he's not on the inside.

- one night you cooked with him and he told you all about his life back home, showed you photos of his sisters and taught you basic russian (assuming you don't know any already)

-if you speak russian he'll be over the moon or if you use the simple russian he's taught you he loves you just a little bit more. he adores your accent when you stumble over certain pronunciation. he knows you're the one for him

-when he decides to confess he handwrites you a long poem with an russian to english translation on two separate pages. after he signs his name he writes that he won't bring this up unless you do

-please don't break his heart. he's so sensitive

demo:

- when he confesses he's drunk as fuck. he doesn't even remember when you bring it up the next day.

-is so embarrassed. he's hungover and groggy. he plays it off by acting defensive. "i was just drunk! i meant nothing by it!"

-in the inside he's freaking out. he wanted to plan it out. it's only been 7 or 8 months since you've been at teufort but he fell so quick for you.

-3am outside pointing at the constellations, telling you about old celtic, scottish myths and folklore, shit talking the other mercs, and an accidental kiss on the lips he caught feeling for you right then and there.

- he's willing to give up scrumpy just to have you reciprocate the same feelings for him. 🤞

engineer:

-lord, he used so many pet names with you; "check this out, sweet pea", "you look beautiful, darling", "i made pancakes, you want any hon?"

-he knows his voice with a combination of his pet names do something to you. he loves when you call him those names back!

-compliment his cooking! bbq is his specialty! he'll gladly eat up anything you make. hungry boi :3

-he loves when you spend time with him in his workshop, working on his little metal trinkets warms his soul. he tries to teach you about the intricate parts of engineering. it's okay if you don't understand, he's more than willing to break it down for you and teach you a bite-sized version quantum mechanics

-friday night. a few beers in. a lot of work finished. "(y/n), i know i'm a bit older and dusty at the whole romance thing but" he pauses "you ain't seeing anyone right now, are you?"

medic:

-he either falls in love with you the second he lays his eyes on you or it takes many, many months for him to catch feelings for you. regardless, of how long the process takes his love for you becomes an obsession.

-you begin lingering around his office, inquiring about his tools and weapons. he finds it very interesting that you're not startled by him and his... unethical ways of "doctor assisted suicide"

-internal battles with his conscience. does he want to rip your organs out and shove them in the wrong places? he wants to slice your arteries one by one. yes, he wants to cut your jugular and see how much you bleed before dying. alas, he won't. you're too beautiful to be cut up into pieces. he doesn't want you to die by his hands, he doesn't know what he would do with himself.

-"guten morgen, wie gehts?!" has him weak. just a simple phrase you've rehearsed a few times. you though he would appreciate you taking time out of your day to learn his native tongue. he thinks this is your way of flirting with it (and perhaps it is).

-occasionally he'll call you into his office, not for a checkup by any means but rather just to chat (on company time). he removes the gloves and runs his hands over the scars on your face and neck. "schätzelein, i have been feeling some way for a while."

sniper:

-he is such a cunt. he's so rude and bitchy to you. his attitude causes you to avoid contact with mick at all costs and he avoids you like the plague. he spends a lot of time in his van anyways so staying away from you isn't too hard.

-seeing you hurt breaks his heart. he decides to visit you in medbay after your broke your arm. the baboo uterus experiment procedure wasn't finished by the time you got hurt. you notice how out of character it is but appreciate it regardless. he brings you a little necklace made with animal teeth (him making jewerly with animal bones is the most canon-noncanon headcanon.)

-after you get a cast you ask him to sign it. next to his name he writes a little heart. then scribbles it out. and draws a skull underneath it.

-butterflies in his stomach when he lays eyes on you. he hates that he's gotten feelings for you. you're his teammate, not his partner. not yet atleast. no? why is he thinking like this.

-it's obvious that mick is touch starved of attention, he want to be validated and appreciated. he's also getting shit from his teammates so when you begin to stand up for him and complimenting him he looses his mind.

"scout, you're being mean. no wonder you have no dad, i would leave too. " "he's not ugly at all. you're old and its evident enough in those wrinkles of yours."

-oh god. who knew a petite little thing like you could spit venom. he wants to tell you how he feels so badly but he doesn't want to loose you as a friend.

spy:

-he'll flirt with you before even developing feelings for you. always trying to court you, inviting you over at late hours. he just wants to get laid tbh.

-you're playing hard to get. it excites him a bit but he's much older now so if anything he's annoyed that you won't sleep with him. he tries being more romantic and pushes idea the idea of getting with you sexually and takes a different approach.

-smoking on his red velvet couch until the sun begins to rise, sharing cigs together. he has a small stash of weed (he stole it from scout) but coughs when he smokes it, earning a plethora of giggles from you. now he's smiling and laughing with you despite his lungs being filled with smoke.

-stacks of guy de maupassant on his table near the red couch, he reads the love poems to you and translates it to you. please snuggle up into his chest and try to read the french words yourself. your pronunciation is horrible and your accent is awful. you sound so cute yet so pathetic at the same time.

-he tries to keep his feelings hidden for as long as he can. of course, it slips out. he's stopped wearing the balaclava when around you (and only you, even his own son doesn't know what he truly looks like) so the bright red blush is evident on his face. he tries taking back what he said but there's no use as your already face first into his chest.

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widow-maximov · 1 year

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Hi, can I request a Nat x fem!reader oneshot where the reader is singing Russian songs she's heard from Natasha's playlist while doing mundane tasks ie paperwork, washing up dishes etc. The reader not knowing a lot of Russian doesn't realise how explicit the songs are just casually sings them in front of the whole avenger's team splitting the group with the members who can speak Russian finding it hilarious and those who can't just thinking it's a good song and Natasha's just sat there with a whole array of mixed emotions but is mostly impressed with how well the reader is singing.

Thanks in advance :)

Russian Songs

Pairing: Natasha x Reader

Warning: The usual tags I don’t really know what other tags would go here, just enjoy :3

Summary: After being moved away from missions and doing everyone's chores. You wanted to be more productive, but was that a good choice?

Word count: 2.7k

A/n: So I couldn't find any explicit songs per say, but I hope this song will work, it's very hard to look for songs in another language, anyway I hope yous enjoy.

My requests are always open so feel more than welcome to pop in a suggestion for the next story :3

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You were known to be a singer, well that's around the compound of course, you weren't brave enough to sing in front of thousands of people.

You loved singing all your life but your passion for doing good was too strong and it won over your life. If you were honest, not many knew about your singing ability.

It's not like you would be parading around and singing, it was mostly when you were doing mundane tasks, or when no one was around. It was like your little secret you didn't want to share with the group.

Even after dating Natasha for 2 years, she still had no clue you could sing and she was a spy so that was surprising, that was until recently..

During training with your redhead girlfriend, she has been putting light music but most of it was in Russian, meaning you couldn't understand anything.

It almost sounded like a challenge to you, to learn that song by heart and because it was catchy so you wanted sing it properly and just enjoy what it meant.

But that was exactly that, you didn't understand it so you didn't know what you were learning, even though that didn't stop you, you still learnt it- Well some of the words.

Somehow you ended up doing all of the chores in the tower, actually there was a reason, Natasha along with Tony came up with a 'punishment' for you.

Your own girlfriend came up with a punishment for you, it was because you ended up surrounded by hydra men, who had you tied up and ready to transport as way to kidnap you and use you to get out what they wanted for the Avengers.

It wasn't even your fault, Shields information was misleading that you ended up in the wrong section of the building, with tooo many armed men and you knew you didn't have a chance so you were glad when Steve along with Bucky were sent to help.

That's how you ended up doing months of cleaning, instead of missions, meaning you cooked, cleaned like washing up, paperwork of your teammates.

Natasha was nice enough to leave her own paperwork to herself to not over work you but that didn't mean you weren't tired, of course you stopped training with her as a way to show her you were mad at her.

But still the redhead knew, you wouldn't be mad for too long. When she found out that you were near to being kidnapped, she got scared.

The love of her life was in danger and she couldn't even save you. That's what got to her, that was the reason why she agreed to the punishment.

It kept you off the missions for a while, she knew you would be safe at the tower. Even if you were mad at her, giving her a cold shoulder most of the day, she knew you were safe.

Eventually she was going to talk to you, when things cooled off a little. But seeing how tired you were every night made her feel bad. She done this to you, with good intentions.

But maybe you didn't see it like that. Natasha never overthought before, she was there in the moment. But with you, she was afraid of losing you.

She loved you, so the thought of you getting brutally beaten, whilst she was so far away from you was taking a big toll on her. Seeing you clean and do everything else was easy to watch. To know that you were there.

That's what was happening right now. Everyone including you were in the living room. Well you was cleaning with headphones on, as after doing so many chores for months. You eventually got bored and just started to listen to music.

Helped to kill your time a little, whilst learning songs that you wanted to know. Being with the Russian has taught you some words. So whenever you heard a similar word you smiled, humming it silently.

Your back was to the door whilst you were washing up. In that moment the team went silence and your singing was exposed to everyone who had ears. Natasha's brows raised in amusement as she listened to what you were singing.

Everyone turned around to look at you. Half of the team understanding what you were singing and half was looking with confusion.

Tony was first to speak up. "Is she singing a Russian song?" He questioned as she looked over at Natasha.

She simply nodded with a big smile across her lips, she didn't know that her girlfriend was this talented. Thor smirked. "If my girlfriend sung like Y/n, I wouldn't even let her stop. I bet you are the same Natasha."

She would definitely beg you to sing for her many times if she knew that you could. She knew that you would be embarrassed about it but still follow through.

She still kept quiet as she listened carefully to your words. "Я заливаю глаза керосином...Пусть всё горит, пусть всё горит ( I fill my eyes with kerosene. Let it all burn, let it all burn )"

She nearly choked on the song choice that was spilling out of your mouth. Yelena, along with Clint, Thor and Bucky, looked over at Natasha for some sort of explanation. But there was none.

Yelena laughed, as she stared at her sister when you sang the words. "Выхожу на улицу гладить кота. А его переезжает тачка мента (I go outside to pet the cat. And he's being run over by a cop's car.)"

Shaking her head in disapproval. "What have you taught this poor innocent girl."

Natasha frowned. "That wasn't me. I mean I listened to this song whilst we trained but I didn't know she could sing it."

Tony was having the time of his life whilst he nodded his head at your singing. "Whatever it is, I love it. She will sing at the next event I have."

Natasha shook her head, knowing that when you find out what that songs means you'll be embarrassed to even face the team. Bucky smirked as he nodded his head. "I think that song suits you Natasha, maybe next time explain to your girlfriend what she is trying to sing."

You tried to sing the song perfectly but not knowing what it meant you mumbled most of the lyrics. Carol walked in as her jaw opened to hear the song leak out of your mouth.

"Why is everyone laughing? Someone tell her what she is saying." Carol walked over after waving at you with a fake smile.

Natasha sighed as she knew it had to be her. She nodded as she stood up, making her way towards you. Wanda rushed in as she heard it as well. Finding it all amusing at how you didn't even know what you were saying. Vision appeared, literally everyone was there. Tuning in on your conversation with the Russian.

Natasha gently tapped your shoulder, you looked over, saw her and went back to listening to the song. She sighed, yeah you were still mad at her.

She got closer, pressed herself against your back, taking the cloth out of your hand and the plate that you were wiping clean. Placing it all down as she spun you round to face her.

For a moment you forgot what you were mad about, this is the closet you two have been since the day you received punishment. Your hands hesitantly fell on her shoulders, whilst she took the headphones out.

"Y/n.. Sweetie.. Stop singing." She tried to say it nicely, but she set you off.

You narrowed your eyes at her. "Not only you ground me in the tower but now you're also telling me what to do."

"You know.. This is my choice if I want to sing or not. You can't tell me what to do." That was sometimes the issue with you. Instead of listening to why she said that. You put up walls and tried to deflect any attack on you.

She sighed as she placed her hand over your mouth, the other sat firmly on your hip. You loved when Natasha was dominant with you, it made her look a lot more sexier but not when you were angry.

"Not because I am trying to control you... But because you don't know what you are singing.." She approached it another way. She had to embarrass you for you to understand what she meant.

You swallowed thick at her words, eyes widen in fear at what your girlfriend was saying. So, she continued. "Have you even tried to look up the translation of the lyrics?"

You shook your head after Natasha took her hand away, this was on the Russian. She should've told you what it meant whilst yous were training. But she was so distracted by you and your body that songs just slipped her mind.

Her eyes darted towards the team, who somehow had popcorn appear in their hands. She narrowed her eyes at Wanda, who simply shrugged as she shoved more popcorn in her mouth.

That's when you got the hint that everyone heard you. Fear set when you looked over. You looked back at the redhead who had a cold expression across her face.

"Let me go. I need to go." You were slightly panicking, you never had anyone listen to you singing, you kept it quite quiet from literally everyone you knew.

Natasha's face softened up as she saw your panic. "Y/n it's okay-"

But you interrupted her. "Let. Me. Go." Your eyes flashes red and she moved away, causing you to storm out. Making the redhead sigh as she leaned back on the counter.

Moving to look at the team who now was looking anywhere but at Natasha. She rolled her eyes at them as she followed you out. It was easy to tell where you had wondered off. I mean she was your girlfriend after all.

As you sat on the balcony edge, looking down at the city. Natasha slowly made her way over to you. "Y/n.." She spoke softly, trying to get your attention so you don't get startled.

You sighed as you heard her, you knew she would follow you out here. "You know the whole point of walking out is not to be followed." You were bitter with right reasons.

It wasn't just the singing, it was the unresolved feelings that you both held. She knew that, she wanted to say something about it all the time but it never left her mouth.

She hummed softly, acknowledging your words. "I followed you out because I care Y/n."

You scoffed, rolling your eyes at her words. "I wonder where those words were, when I was punished for being the victim."

She knew you were right, how was she suppose to explain her feelings to you? It was all difficult but she had to. She took a deep breath. Looking at your side profile as she moved her hand over to yours. Gently taking it and intertwining it together.

"детка, I know you are mad. I would be too but I didn't do it if I didn't feel like it was necessary." Maybe it was the way she worded it, but that only made you more angry.

Your head snapped towards her, almost making her take a step back. "You're making decisions for me? Wasn't you the one who promised me that we would both take decisions as you never wanted me to feel the way you felt in the red room?"

That stung, but you were right. Natasha promised exactly that and she broke that when she decided your own fate. She sighed, feeling how you snatched your hand away.

Jumped off the edge and tried to make your way back inside the building, but Natasha had different plans for you. "I did what I did because I was scared."

Her words made you stop, you were still facing away from her but kept quiet so she could continue. "When I received the information that you were no where to be found. That your weapons along with most of your clothes were left at the scene. I thought I was going to die from how much fear I felt."

You never heard Natasha's voice that unsure. Her tone was always gentle and quiet when she opened up to you. Now you were facing the door as she spoke with an upset tone.

"It felt like the world stopped for a moment. The first thing I wanted to do was to rush over there but Nick stopped me. They knew that if I went everything could go even worse." She explained as her voice broke several times.

"I can't imagine my life without Y/n, how was I suppose to think straight when you were kidnapped. I knew you were scared I couldn't even be there." Tears were streaming down her face.

"I knew the second we found you, in that state of barely any conconse, I knew I needed you safely here. Where I could keep my eye on you."

"I know that I should've spoke to you about all of this, but I couldn't.." Her tone was just above a whisper. Yet you could hear her.

You turned your body around to face her. Tears sitting tightly on the edge of your eyelids as you stared at her. Maybe you didn't think this through.

Maybe you should've spoke to her after everything. You were so busy with trying to get over the traumatic experience that you didn't think how that impacted her.

The woman that you love with your whole heart. You were busy being angry at her for not comforting you when you needed it, when in reality it was both of you that needed each other.

A light sob came out of your mouth as you walked over to Nat. Hugging her tightly and melting almost instantly in the embrace. You missed her and you knew she missed you too.

No words were needed at this moment whilst she held you tightly against her. Like she haven't seen you for a long time.

You both were crying but you pulled yourself together. Pulling away as you looked at her. Sandwiching her face between your hands. "I'm sorry."

Her soft expression melted your heart and to be fair, if the Russian was honest. You were the only one who made her this open about her feelings.

She shook her head slightly with a small smile across her lips. "No, I am sorry."

You sniffled as her hands sat on your hips, holding you against her quite close. You could tell that she was telling the truth. You never had to doubt her from the way her eyes only looked for yours.

"I want to kiss you." Natasha choked out, letting a set of tears slowly roll down her cheek.

You smiled as you pressed your forehead against hers. Closing your eyes as you felt her breath hit your lips ever so gently. "What are you waiting for?"

She didn't need to say anything else, because thats all she wanted to do for the past months of you being angry. She wanted you close and just to feel your warmth against her lips.

She leaned in slowly as her lips brushed against yours. Feeling how soft your lips felt was really testing her. She missed you so much. Everything about you.

Zero thoughts were in both of your minds as all that you were really focused on, was feeling Natasha. Her hands tightly holding you, her lips against yours as you tried to keep your breath steady.

She pulled away just a little bit as she muttered out. "I love you" Before her lips collided with yours before you had the chance to say it back.

A slightly protest moan escape your mouth, you wanted to say it back but Natasha didn't let you. Her hands sliding around your body. Not letting you out of her arms.

The emotions changed quite quickly but could you blame yourself? You missed each other very much and being in her arms was the only place that felt like safety you needed right now.

Your fingers tangled in her hair and thats the only thing that was on your mind. The warmth-ish air breezing past the two of you as your embrace became more intimate.

That's what you loved about being with her. The power that you two can over come anything that stood in your way....

And make out whilst you are at it.

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yoooitssalexx · 7 months

Text

Alright guys,here's part 3 of Viktor Drago x Balboa!Daughter. Enjoy!

This part is pretty long,I got a little carried away but i

I hope you guys enjoy!

WARNING:Smut ahead

____

It had been 2 days since Viktor had come and spent the night at your place,and you'd held off from calling him as long as you could. You poured yourself a cup of coffee as you dialed the number you'd been staring at all weekend. You were aware of the time difference,hoping he wasn't too busy to answer.

Viktor felt his phone vibrate in his pocket,dropping the weights he ignored the curious looks from his father and other members of his team he walked towards the locker room and looked at his phone.

The unknown number told him only one thing,it was you.

It had to be.

"Hello."He answered,heart racing with the fear of not hearing your voice on the other side.

"Viktor."You breathed,the way you whispered his name reminding him of the night that you two shared together.

"Hello,malyshka."He smiled,sitting on one of the benches. "Two days?"

"I know,I just..wanted to give you space."You stirred your coffee slowly,nervous to speak to the man that had made you feel things you'd never felt with anyone before.

"There is already too much space between us."He answered,his words catching you off guard. "I don't want more."

"Then I'll call you everyday."You affirmed,smiling at the realization that he wanted more than just what

happened that night between the two of you.

"Good."His thick accent sent shivers down your spine,you barely registering him asking you about your day.

You told him about the busy day you had ahead,the man listening attentively and shocking you by asking questions. You smiled when at just how easy it was to talk to him,the man genuinely interested in what you had to say and it was refreshing to talk to a man who actually listened.

You bid your goodbyes when you heard a gruff voice in the background,Viktor answering the man in Russian before returning to his conversation with you.

"I must go,malyshka. But call me tonight?"He asked.

"Yeah,just you call me when you're free."You requested,grabbing your things to head out the door yourself.

Later that night you got home and found your father waiting for you at your door,the man looking up when he heard your footsteps.

"Dad."You smiled.

"Hey sweetheart."He hugged you tightly,brushing the way ward strands of your hair out of your face.

"You okay?"You asked the sullen man,recognizing that sad smile.

"Yeah,just wanted to take my favorite girl to dinner."He grinned,pinching your cheek.

"Only if you're making pizza."You smiled,opening the door for you both.

"Of course,anything you want."

"Awesome! Let me get changed and we can go."You set your things down and made your way to your room to change quickly.

You were walking out of your room when you saw your father holding your phone in his hands,holding it up for you to see the name that flashed across the screen.

Viktor.

"You talking to him?"He asked,allowing you to grab the device.

"Dad,just give me a second."You looked at him sadly,hoping he'd understand.

"Hey,Viktor."You answered,eyes still staring back at your father.

"Malyshka,is everything okay?"He asked,your rushed tone and delay in answering made him worry.

"Yeah,I'm going to grab dinner with my dad right now. Can I call you later?"You asked,biting your lip nervously. The way you looked down at the ground shyly as Viktor answered you reminded him so much of how Adrian used to act around him.

"Okay,call me later. Enjoy your dinner."Viktors words were simple yet they still made you smile.

The ride over to Adrian's was silent,your father kneading the pizza dough as you sat on the counter and watched as he'd requested. You knew he was waiting for you to open up to him without him having to push you to do so.

"So,"You cleared your throat,watching him begin to shape the pizza before he began to cover it in the sauce and toppings. "What do you want to know."

He just looked at you and raised a quizzical brow,you letting out a deep sigh.

"I like him."You said the three words carefully,chipping at your nail polish quietly. "A lot."

"But you barely even know him."

You watched him slide the pizza in the oven,the man washing his hands in silence. You sat in the feelings that the 6 words he just said to you made you feel,a realization that there was very little that you knew about the foreign boxer yet there was a lot of intimate things that you did know.

"I know a bit about him."You shrugged,stealing a pepperoni slice.

"Like what?"

"Like he has a nice smile."You grinned. Your father rolled his eyes,moving about the kitchen. "I know that despite his resentment towards his mother,he desperately wants her approval."

He turned to you,raising a brow. "And how do you know that?"

He recognized the sheepish look that crossed your features,ultimately confessing to Viktor's late visit to you in Philly just days ago. Rocky was surprised to say the least,you did know things about the fighter in question and it seems that the one night you were together had revealed some things about Viktor.

"Besides,you and mom barely knew each other at one point."you smugly pointed out,the man pinching your cheek.

"You really do like him?"He asked,pulling the pizza from the oven.

"I really do."You nodded.

"What do you like about him?"he asked,preparing to slice the pizza.

"He's mysterious,he actually listens and cares about what I say. He's kind."You listed more and more about the things you liked about the man,your eyes sparkling. "And he deserves love,even if he doesn't believe that he does."

"I want for you what you want,as long as you're happy."

"He makes me feel seen,and heard. He actually listens to me and asks me about my life."You stared down at your shoes,a small smile pulling at your lips.

"I support you,my little princess."He cupped your face,eyes welling at how much you reminded him of Adrian. "I've never been able to deny you anything."

You hugged your father tightly after those words,appreciating the way he was there for you unconditionally.

"Let's eat."

After a hearty meal with great company,you made it home at a decent hour to still have a chance to call Viktor. The more it rang,the harder you bit on you lip in nervousness.

"Hello."His gruff,thick voice sent shivers down your spine.

"Hi."You said softly.

"How was dinner?"

"Good."You hummed,pulling your clothes for the night. "How was your day?"

He told you about his training and upcoming fight in New York,his tone excited and portraying his love for boxing greatly. His next words causing you to freeze.

"Would you come to my fight in New York?"

"You really want me there?"You asked,glad the man wasn't right in front of you.

"Yes,I really want you there."He said simply,as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

You smiled at the man's directness,enjoying his natural candor. "Okay,when is it?"

After confirming your attendance to his fight next week,you stayed on the phone while you confirmed a flight to New York and booked a room near the Barclays Center. You ended the call a short while

after,a blissful smile not leaving your lips till you fell asleep.

______

Days later your knee bounced nervously as you sat in the back of the taxi,pulling up to the hotel after what felt like an eternal drive from the airport.

You checked in and sent Viktor a quick text as you waited for the elevator, not paying attention to the man that walked up behind you.

"Well I'll be damned."You heard, causing you to turn and see who was behind you.

Your eyes found Leo Sporino,not expecting to see the boxer here in New York.

"I thought that was you at the desk,what are you doing here princess?"He smiled.

"Just came to see the fight."You shrugged casually, trying to avoid giving anything away. "What are you doing here?"

The elevator dinged before the doors opened,Leo following you in. He pressed for the 5th floor after you pressed for the 6th,his dark eyes watching you intently.

"My friend,he's fighting Viktor Drago tomorrow."He answered your previous question.

You nodded at his answer,avoiding his intense gaze. You chewed on your lip softly, wishing the elevator would hurry up and get to the 5th floor.

"What are you doing here,princess?"He asked. He noticed your hesitation to answer, realization crossing his features. "Oh I get it now. So it is true."

"What is true?"You asked,swallowing nervously.

"You're with him."He shook his head. "With Drago."

"So what if I am?"You held your head up, tired of everybody's opinion on your relationship with Viktor.

"He ain't good for you."

"And how do you know that?"

"You shouldn't be with him."

"That sounds like a whole lot of none of your business."

"Oh yeah? And what does Rock think?"

"My father just wants me to be happy."

"Princess,"

"Stop calling me that."You cut him off, not wanting to hear what he had to say. "I'm not your princess."

"You used to love it when I called you that."

"That was a long time ago."You reminded, watching the doors open at the fifth floor. "This is your floor."

He stepped off, his hands stopping the doors from shutting. "He could hurt you."

"How? Like you hurt me?"You snapped, tired of hearing him trying to bad mouth Viktor. You watched him step back at your words, the doors slowly sliding shut.

You let out a deep sigh when the doors opened on your floor, your phone dinging with a message from Viktor.

I am at gym, see you for dinner?

Of course.

You opened the door,trying hard to not let Leo's words get to you. Deciding to just get ready for dinner with Viktor,you set your outfit and jewelry out before taking a much needed shower and getting ready for dinner. You were finishing up your make up when Viktor texted you that he was going to shower and change before meeting you at your room.

You smiled as you typed your response,finishing the last touches before grabbing your coat. A few minutes later you heard a tentative knock on your door,the man standing there taking your breath away.

"Wow."You sighed,smiling when he grabbed your hands. You stepped back as he stepped forward,his hands sliding up your arms to cup your face gently.

"You are wow."He grinned,leaning his forehead against yours. "Ready to go?"

You nodded,taking his hand. You both made your way outside,walking to one of the restaurants close by as he asked you about your time in college.

"And why did you want to become a doctor?"He asked as he opened the door for you, turning to look at you when you took a while to answer.

"My mom."You said sadly,avoiding his intense stare. He squeezed your hand gently before asking for a table for two,the host leading you both back.

"How old were you when she passed?"He asked, pulling your chair out and helping you remove your coat.

"I was 12."You answer,watching him sit across from you after hanging his coat on the back of his chair.

"Very young, what happened?"

"She had cancer."You brushed your hair back,glancing at the menu quietly.

"And that is why you become doctor."

You nodded, telling him about your brief time on oncology. It had become too overwhelming,going into general surgery after enjoying your surgical rotation.

He grabbed your hand from across the table, not wanting you to think about those sad moments. "Tell me about her."

You had many great memories with your mother, enjoying the way he listened to everything you had to say. Once the waiter took your orders you turned the spotlight to him, asking him more about his childhood with Ivan. You knew Ivan wasn't the warmest person,sad to find that even with his own son he was that way.

You enjoyed a nice dinner with the man,soon enough both of you making your way back to the hotel. His large hand engulfed your comparatively smaller one, his intense gaze not leaving you once. Neither of you noticed Leo in the lobby watching you together, the anger in his eyes intense.

You stopped right in front of your door, the tall boxer watching you quietly. His brows furrowed when you didn't move to open the door.

"Everything okay?"He asked.

You nodded, not too sure with how to approach this topic. Deciding that being direct would be best, you leaned up to kiss him quickly.

"I will see you tomorrow."You whispered when you pulled away, finding his eyes closed when you leaned away.

"Let me stay with you."He words on the precipice of sounding like a beg. "Please."

"Not tonight."You smile, hands cupping his face. "Tomorrow,when you win."

He smiled at your words,enjoying your confidence in him. "You think I will win?"

"I know you will."You affirmed. You kissed the man again, this time more intense with all the desire you put into the kiss.

You moaned softly into the kiss when he pressed you against the door. You pulled away panting heavily, almost taking back your earlier words of not wanting the man to stay. Your hands came to his strong chest, lightly pushing him away.

"You change mind?"He asked.

"No."You laughed,enjoying the feel of his sculpted chest under his shirt. "I want you to go."

"You want me to go?"He repeated.

"Yes,I want you to go."You sighed, hands sliding under his shirt to feel the muscles under his smooth skin. "I want you to go to your room and get some sleep, be ready for your fight tomorrow, win,"You whispered as you slid your hand down his ripped chest,"and keep in mind every single thing you want to do to me when you do."You finished,your hand grabbing his crotch over his pants.

He growled lowly, large hands gripping your hips tightly. "When I win,"His deep accented voice sending shivers down your spine. "You will not stop me."

"When you win, then you can collect your prize." You affirmed,hand sliding into his pants.

The man kissed you once more, the intensity that he kissed you with left you breathless. You could taste his need and desperation,your own need for him being expressed in that one kiss.

"Go on,printsessa."He mumbled after breaking the kiss. "Get inside,before I can't resist."

You kissed him one last time,bidding him goodnight before shutting the door behind you. Leaning against the door with a deep sigh, you fought the urge to open the door and invite the boxer into your room. Beginning your night routine,you heard your phone ring when you were slipping on your pajamas.

"Viktor,you're supposed to be getting ready for bed."You smiled,brushing your hair.

"I am."He sighed. "All alone,without you malyshka."He sighed.

"Poor baby."You laughed,pulling back the covers. "You're learning patience,moy medved."

(My bear in Russian)

He groaned,the sound sending a shiver down your spine. "Tomorrow seems so far away."

"It's closer than you think."You giggled,leaning against the headboard. "It's worth the wait,I have a surprise for you."

"A surprise?"You heard some rustling on the other end,imagining the man sitting up at your words.

"Mhm."You hummed,playing with the bottom of the t shirt you wore.

"What are you doing,moya printsessa?"Viktor asked,his tone seductive and hypnotic.

"Nothing,just in bed."You said coyly,eyes shut at the man's raspy voice that had you feening to feel his hands all over your body.

"Wearing what,printsessa?"

The question caught you off guard,not even expecting the man to ask you that question.

"Your shirt,actually."You answered softly,hearing his sharp inhale.

"Printsessa,you have no idea what you do to me."His low groan eliciting a moan from you.

"Tell me."You panted,your right hand trailing up and down your stomach slowly. "Tell me what I do to you."

"I will show you,tomorrow night."His seductive tone turned teasing.

You groaned at his punishment of your denial from earlier,clearly not enjoying being denied as much as he did earlier.

"Fine."You pouted,bidding the boxer a goodnight.

You curled into the hotel pillows,wishing the large man that occupied your thoughts would occupy your bed instead.

___

The next morning you were awoken by soft knocking on your door. With a deep sigh you rolled out of bed,pulling the hotel robe down over your body. An annoyed look on your face as you opened the door,features softening when your eyes landed on the very man that plagued your dreams.

"Good morning,moya printsessa."He smiled coyly,gesturing to the room service cart he had. "Breakfast?"

"I'd love to."You smiled,opening the door wider for him to push the cart in.

"I wasn't sure what you like for breakfast,so I ordered a bit of everything."He uncovered the plates,revealing bacon,sausage,waffles,pancakes,fruit,and eggs.

"Wow."You laughed softly. You were shocked at the amount of food the large man showed up with,doubting the ability for both of you to finish all of the food.

"I'm sorry,would you like something else?"He asked,worry covering his handsome features.

You giggled,leaning against the broad fighter as you smoothened his furrowed brow. "No,moy medved."You pecked his lips quickly,grabbing his large hands. "I love it. You're very sweet."

He smiled,urging you to sit as he finished setting the feast up. He sat across from you,the conversation light to keep him in a good mental state for his fight tonight.

He spent the majority of the morning with you,bidding you a sad goodbye with a quick kiss. He handed you an envelope,glad that you would be in his corner tonight.

"I will see you later."

"Yes,you will."You promised,kissing him again before going back into your room. You opened the envelope,finding tickets and a pass to the fight.

A quick shower and you began getting ready for the fight. You dried and straightened your hair,tying it back in a cute style with a few strands framing your face. Keeping your make up simple and natural you made sure you had everything you needed in your purse before zipping up your boots.

You let the hotel door shut behind you,making your way to the elevator for a ride down to the lobby. Stepping off the elevator your eyes met Ivan's steel eyes,his intense gaze holding yours as you walked into the lobby.

"Hello Ivan."You greeted,not looking away from his cold gaze.

"I told you to stay away."His thick accented words were rough,and if the memory of Viktor's excitement to see you supporting him at his fight wasn't as present in your mind as it was you'd be running for the hills.

"Yes you did."You nodded. "But Viktor asked me to be here,to support him and being there for him is more important to me than allowing you to tell me who I can and can't be with."

You moved to walk past him,a large hand with a strong grip on your arm stopping you. "I do not approve."Ivan's deep voice and intimidating stare focused on you.

"I do not care."You smiled,pulling your arm from his grasp. "I'll be around as long as Viktor wants me to be."

You walked away from Ivan,making the short walk to the arena to be alone in your thoughts. With a deep breath you pushed back the tears that burned your eyes. Pulling the tickets and pass from your purse,you made your way to your seat. You were so close to the ring,your gaze meeting Leo's from across the ring.

"Fuck."You sighed. Shaken from your thoughts when the walkout music start. You watched Viktor's opponent for the fight walk towards the ring,watching the large man make his way into the ring.

A shiver ran down your spine as Viktor walked out,the broad man seemingly in the zone as he entered the ring. You felt Ivan's chilling gaze,Viktor nearing the edge of the ring close to where you sat. You waved softly,meeting his serious gaze.

You watched as the fighters touched gloves and the bell rung,the fight beginning. You watched Viktor as he moved around the ring,quite impressed with the changes you noticed in his fighting style.

The fight was in the second round when Viktor's opponent dodged Viktor's right hand swing. Standing when Viktor's head turned with the powerful punch he received,the ref intervening at Viktor's angry response. You approached the ring,calling out Viktor's name.

"Get away from here."Ivan nearly growled,causing you to roll your eyes.

"Viktor."You called,watching the fighter lean down. "You're overextending on your right hand and he's noticing that."

Viktor nodded,his gaze softening as he looked at you. "This guy,he's not used to going past the fourth round. He's close to running on fumes,so ride the clock towards the end of this round and before it's over I need you to hit him with some short body jabs. Before a good knockout punch,wait for him to throw one and when he does aim right for his chin and put your whole weight into it."

The bell rung,Viktor stepping back and you making your way to your chair. You watched the fighters move to the center of the ring,smiling when you noticed Viktor doing as you said.

You cheered as Viktor landed the punch,his opponent falling to the floor of the ring. The sound of people cheering around you faded away when Viktor's eyes met yours,his intense gaze making you tremble. You barely registered the ref counting and declaring Viktor as the winner,mind racing with thoughts of you and Viktor behind closed doors.

When the arena began to empty,you slowly made your way to the back halls. You lifted your pass when someone stopped you,continuing on until Leo stood right in front of you.

"Nothing changes,huh?"He asked,the irritating smile on his face annoying you. "I remember when you used to be in my corner like that."

"Too bad you went and ruined it."You huffed,pushing past him. He grabbed your arm and spun you around,pulling you right against his chest.

"Gimme another chance princess."He moved the strands of hair away from your eyes,you struggling in his grip.

"Get off of me."You huffed,struggling to get out of the man's strong grip.

"C'mon,you don't feel anything for me anymore?"He asked,his hands sliding to your hips.

"Let me go."You pleaded,eyes shutting in fear. "Please."You whispered.

"She said let her go!"You felt a familiar grip,eyes remaining shut. "Stay away from her,she's with me."

Viktor stared Leo down until he walked away,the large man cupping your face gently. "Printsessa,I'm here."He whispered,feeling your tremble only made him want to follow Leo and use his face as a punching bag.

Ivan watched Viktor comfort you,brows furrowed as he watched Viktor whisper to you and stroke your cheeks. He'd never seen his son be vulnerable and soft,the two traits not something they expressed often.

He didn't like it.

"Are you okay,malyshka?"His worried eyes meet yours when you open them. He frowns at your glassy eyes,pulling you against his chest. "You're okay,I'm here."

You hugged the broad man,remembering when he saved you the first night you met. He rubbed your back,hating how much the man had ruined your evening.

"I was coming to see you."You whispered,meeting his gaze. "You did great."

"Because of you,printsessa. I was coming to tell you that I would like for us to have dinner with my father."

You nodded,allowing him to pull you towards the locker rooms. He sat you on one of the benches,kneeling on his knees in front of you. "Wait for me here,okay printsessa? I'll shower quickly and change."

You nodded,leaning forward to kiss him quickly. "I'll be here."

"You look beautiful."He smiled,kissing you again before standing.

You watched him walk away,Ivan only zipping up the jacket to his sweatsuit.

"Are you okay?"His gruff voice shocked you,the man watching you quietly. He held a water bottle out,a tight smile offered when you took it.

"Yes,just shaken."You answered,taking a sip.

"You know him."He watched you intently.

You nodded,playing with the water bottle wrapper. "We dated a long time ago."

"Hmph."Ivan huffed,sitting on one of the benches across from you.

"I'm not Ludmilla."You straightened,watching the mans face contort in anger. "Viktor told me about her,and I am not like her."

"You say that now."He crossed his arms.

"You're quite judgmental for someone who doesn't know me."

Ivan eyed you as if he wanted to decipher you then and there,probably wishing he could read your mind. "What you told Viktor earlier,how'd you know that stuff?"

"Did you think I'd be Rocky Balboa's daughter without learning anything?"You grinned. "Boxing's in my blood."

Viktor walked out,both of you standing when he approached. "Everything okay?"He asked,eyeing you both. You nodded,smiling when he reached for your coat and helped you slide it on before grabbing your hand.

"Hungry?"He asked,both of you walking behind Ivan. You nodded,wrapping your other arm around his so you could be closer to him.

You followed the giant men to the black limo,Viktor and Ivan stopping to allow you in first. You were quite taken with Ivan's chivalry,the intense man leaving you quite puzzled with his recent behavior. You laughed when Viktor buckled your seatbelt,his large paw reaching for your hand after he buckled his own.

Ivan watched you both,clearly not appreciating the effect you had on his son. It wasn't long until you all reached the restaurant,Ivan feeling more and more like a third wheel with the two of you.

The dinner was awkward with the fact that Ivan barely spoke,the stoic man just observing how Viktor interacted and reacted with you. There was a small chat about the fight,but other than that Ivan didn't contribute much else. You wanted to laugh when Ivan walked ahead of the two of you once you finally entered the hotel lobby,grumbling a semblance of a 'goodnight' before stomping his way to the elevator.

"That was...quite the dinner."You laughed,turning to Viktor to allow Ivan his speedy escape.

"Was too bad when I leave you alone with him?"The boxer asked,pulling your smaller body into his muscular frame.

You shook your head,toying with his dark shirt. "He cares for you,a lot. He was just making sure his son doesn't feel the same hurt he felt."

Viktor's hazel eyes narrowed at you,stroking your back over your soft coat. "Like I told him,I'm not Ludmilla. I'll be around as long as you want me to be."

"You said that?"

"And meant it. Every last word."You leaned your chin against his strong chest.

There was something about how your big and innocent eyes stared at him,you not even having to ask him to rip his heart out and give it to you because it was already yours.

"You won."You smirked,leaning up with less difficulty thanks to your heeled boots. You tugged on his hands,pulling the large man with you towards the elevators. Pushing the button for the lift,you felt his broad chest pressed against your back.

Caught off guard when the large man spun you around and pressed his lips right on yours,drowning you in his need and desire. You moaned when his tongue delved into your mouth,hands hungrily caressing your curves.

"You look,"He panted. "So beautiful,printsessa."His lips traveled down your neck,small kisses and nips planted on your skin.

The elevator dinged,the alert of reaching your floor barely being enough to pull the two of you out of your desperate haze. Between drunk kisses and needy touches you entered your hotel room,your small hands pushing Viktor's jacket off.

You pushed him towards the bed,the large man falling back. The way he looked at you like you were the only woman for him made you weak in the knees,a confidence running through your veins as you undressed in front of him. You swallowed nervously,standing in front of him in your black strapless bra and matching panties.

"You said,"You paused,moving to stand between his thick spread legs. "You'd show me what I do to you."

The large man sat up,big paws sliding up your legs sensually. Your hands planted on his strong shoulders,moaning softly when he littered kisses on your belly. He pulled you to straddle his lap by your legs,burying his face in your chest.

Your hands cupped the back of his head,pushing your chest towards his face when he nipped at the available skin. You felt his hands unclasp your bra,throwing the offensive material to the floor. A gasp of his name fell from your lips when he took one of your nipples in his warm mouth,tongue swirling around the pert bud.

"Viktor."You moaned,nails lightly scraping his scalp. You felt his hands slide further up,hardly noticing when he untied your hair. Head thrown back in bliss when he paid attention to your neglected breast,his large hand buried in your long hair.

He smirked at your needy whine when he pulled away,bottom lip out in an adorable pout. He nipped your plump lip gently,smiling when he laid you on the bed and your legs tightened around his middle. You watched him pull his shirt off,hands itching to touch his perfectly sculpted chest.

"Moya prekrasnaya printsessa."He whispered,hands planted next to your head. He nudged your nose with his,a little smile pulling at his lips when he felt your needy hands pulling at his belt. He grabbed your hand,leading it to cup his hard on. "You feel what you do to me,printsessa?"

You squeezed lightly,leaning up to kiss him. "Show me what I do to you."You whispered,nipping his bottom lip. "Show me what you want to do to me."

Your eyes fell shut when Viktor kissed you passionately,enjoying the way he began littering kisses all over your body. Viktor took his time worshipping your body,hands and lips leaving no inch of your body untouched.

Viktor pulled your panties down,his large hand caressing your leg softly. "So pretty."Viktor whispered,eliciting a moan from you when he slowly swiped his fingers up your pussy. Slowly he slid a thick digit in your warm channel,watching what movements made you moan the loudest.

"I want to taste you,printsessa."The deep baritone of his voice sending tingles throughout your whole body.

"Please,Viktor."You whined,spreading your legs for his broad body.

You cried out when he placed a kiss on your pussy,the grip he had on your thighs almost bruising when he held them apart to stop them from closing. The boxer groaned,the taste of you driving him mad.

Each stroke and swipe of his tongue drove you closer and closer to your orgasm,his groans when you lightly scraped your nails on his scalp making your legs shake.

A loud cry bounced off the walls when his tongue dipped inside of you,Viktor pulling your legs over his shoulders. You pushed his face closer,cries of pleasure only spurring the hungry man on.

He felt your legs shake,noting that you moaned louder when he sucked on your clit. "Need to cum,printsessa?"He teased,nipping your thigh softly. His fingers picked up the slack,eyes watching your back arch and your hands come to your breasts and play with your nipples.

"Please Viktor."You begged,the sound so pretty it was music to Viktor's ears.

You cried out when he resumed eating you out,the way he worked his tongue and fingers driving you insane. The pleasure almost became unbearable,legs shaking as the feeling of your orgasm overwhelmed all of your senses.

You panted as you came down from the high of pleasure,eyes fluttering open when he leaned over you and watching him lick his fingers clean.

"Was that good?"He asked,quite enjoying the blissed out look your face.

"Amazing."You whispered,pulling the large man closer. "Your turn."You smirked,pushing his chest. He let you maneuver him the way you wanted,smiling when you climbed on top of him and rubbed all over his sculpted chest.

He moaned when you planted your lips on his,your tongue delving into his mouth. Tasting yourself on his mouth drove you mad,your lips mapping a trail of kisses down his neck to his chest,hands unbuttoning his jeans and pulling them down.

He watched you undress him,the mischievous glint in your eyes shining through. He laid back when you slid your hands up his legs,a low groan rumbling in his chest when you traced your tongue up his abs. His hand came to the back of your head,fingers buried in your hair.

Grasping his thick member in your hand,slowly stroking while you sucked at his neck lightly. "I want you to cum in my mouth."You whispered in his ear,nipping his ear lobe gently.

The boxer moaned loudly when you wrapped your lips around his tip,his hand coming to your hair while you worked him with your hand and mouth. He wasn't sure if it was the pleasure or just the fact that it was you touching him that made him feel so electric but he did know he didn't want it to stop.

You met his hazy gaze,the sight of your mouth wrapped around him while looking at him with those seductive eyes was enough to make his toes curl. You swirled your tongue around the head of his cock,moaning at the taste of his precum.

"Does it feel good,moy medved?"You asked in a pant,your hand working him while you batted your eyelashes at him like the two of you weren't in the midst of something so sinful.

With a nod,not able to trust his voice,he watched you resume the unfamiliar pleasure. You took note of what you did that made him grip you hair a little tighter,soon the large man began to guide your movements. Viktor wasn't the most experienced man,between training and work and Ivan's iron fist he didn't have much time for lovers but just the feeling of your hands on him was enough to make his body react.

The boxer felt his release close,you pushing his hands away when he tried to pull you off of him. Each swipe of your tongue or movement of your hand making his orgasm closer and closer.

"Mm-mm."You denied, holding his hands so he wouldn't try to pull you off,the vibrations pushing the man over the edge.

The loud and guttural shout of his end made goosebumps form on your skin,pussy dripping with arousal of the way you had the large man at your mercy.

He watched you swallow his cum,the erotic sight itself could've made him cum alone. You licked your lips slowly,crawling up to straddle the large fighter. His arms wrapped around you,right hand sliding up your back to the back of your head.

"Vikt-Mm."You moaned when he pulled you down to kiss him,the taste of both of your arousals mixing together. His free hand slid down your back,grabbing your ass roughly.

His large rough hands guiding you down on his still erect cock. Moans mixed together weren't enough to cover the sounds of your skin slapping when you began to ride him. Viktor's grip moved to your hips,tight and unrelenting to control your pace and movement.

"More."You panted,hands planting themselves firmly on his broad chest. "Harder,moy medved."You moaned,nails digging into his smooth skin. His hips thrust up to meet yours, his feet planted on the bed while you allowed him to pull your hips down with his tight grip.

The rough thrusts combined with his impressive length and girth was enough to bring forth your next orgasm,Viktors grip bruising when he pulled your hips down and held you there as he sat up straight.

"You feel so good,printsessa."He moaned, the man kissing his way up your chest to your neck."My pretty little prize."

A loud moan followed by your head thrown back as he continued muttering praises while he fucked into you hard and rough, soft bites and sucks into your skin only heightening your pleasure. Your hands held onto his broad shoulders to help you meet his movements, nails scratching down his back in pure bliss.

"Viktor."You cried,leaning your forehead against his. "Please."

"So pretty when you beg,printsessa."His deep, accented words sending a shiver down your spine. "Tell me what you want."

"I want.."You panted, eyes meeting his. "I want you to cum with me."

He felt you tighten around him, a loud growl filling the room. Your hands slid up his back,up his neck, to his cheeks to cup his face.

"Please,modved."You begged, kissing him desperately. The feeling of his chest brushing against your sensitive nipples sent electric shocks throughout your whole body. Your nails lightly scraped his scalp, tongue delving into his mouth.

"I'm close,printsessa."He groaned into your kiss, his pace becoming faster and more desperate.

"Cum with me, Viktor." You urged, eyes meeting his. "Please."

Viktors deep cry of pleasure matched yours in volume when you both came together. He leaned his forehead against your chest, your long hair cascading down your back with your hair thrown back in bliss.

You both panted in sync, Viktor sitting upright when realization struck him.

"Malyshka."His frantic gaze met yours, swallowing thickly.

"What's wrong?"You sat up, not paying attention to him still inside of you.

"We didn't use a condom."His wide eyes were full of realization and panic.

———————————————————————————

Part 4 coming soon!Hope you guys enjoyed !

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#viktor #viktordragoimagine #viktordragosmut #creed 3 #creed iii #florian munteanu #viktor drago #florianmunteanuimagine #viktor drago x reader #florian munteanu smut #trainer florian

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screemnch · 2 months

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The Pathologic Russian and English analysis: Clara Saburova the Changeling.

Time is a flat circle, similar to a frisbee, and the world is using it to wack me repeatedly on the head with it. So anyway, I finally got my shit together and made another addition to this madness project. This time including images of both English and Russian text. Let us begin

It’s a bit… difficult to pin down what kind of person Clara is in the English translation - partially because you don’t always know for sure which Clara you’re talking to, as well as the fact that she is, most of the time, an obstacle. She seems to shift between “mean child who’s acting like she hasn’t learned about empathy yet”, “kind earnest and trying her best”, and “ominously inhuman and deceiving”. This is, obviously, because of Clara’s main schtick - the fact that there’s two of them (and also because she knows a lot more than the two other healers). Most of the time, however, she comes across as someone with either good or dubious intentions. It’s like she’s trying to help (or acting like she’s trying to help), but things keep going horribly wrong. Since we’re not playing as her, we don’t get nearly as much insight into how frightened she is and how shaky and unstable her current situation is, so she is judged by both of the healers in a very harsh way. She seems a bit verbose for a kid/teenager, however that is nothing out of the ordinary in the town on Gorkhon. Her lines, a lot of the time are either indirect or very direct jabs, so there is an impression that she thinks she is smarter than the other two and is quite fed up with them. It’s difficult to say much else about it without getting into specifics, so here we go.

As the bachelor: Clara only gets interactions on days 3, 6, 11, and 12. You might think that that would make it difficult to write about her, but wow did they put so much stuff in the very few conversations she gets to have with Daniil. There is a level of consistency between how she speaks in English and Russian here, though she seems a bit more earnest in this campaign. Like she’s trying to help, but she also thinks that Dankovsky is unable to receive the help she’s trying to give. Or unwilling. Mainly, however, in Russian there is a very weird quality to her way of speaking that I’m not quite sure carries over well to English. See, (and this is where it gets the tiniest bit anecdotal) I’ve had my fair share of hearing religious talk in Russian (but not in English, which is why I’m not sure if this is even a valid point) - I’ve been to orthodox churches, and in general Christianity is very largely propagated in the part of Russia I grew up in. So I, like presumably many others, am familiar with the very distinct way that religious figures speak. It sounds ancient, but not the same “fairy tale” ancient that I talked about before. Instead of changing the sentence structure, they utilise more biblical words in places where any other person would use regular modern words. Best way I can explain it is how someone might say “t’is” instead of “it is” but like… Religious? “For” instead of “because.” And that is the tone that Clara takes on sometimes. It meshes really well with her “divine messenger” persona, even though she still acts like a child every now and then. It’s a very unique combination that gives her way of speaking a distinct sound that exists outside of time. Overall, however, the translation was pretty close to the original Russian version, so let’s look at where these two diverge.

What’s a little weird to me here is that umm… This is the conversation Daniil has with Clara on day 3 about the Taglur and when I read this in English I was a little confused, because it sounds like the Bachelor is asking a question about Clara’s plans for making a new world or whatevsies, but… This dialogue option is one of those that immediately ends the conversation, which didn’t make sense to me at all. In Russian it’s a bit more akin to “And who’s bright idea was it to place this miracle here?” (or literally “to whose head did the idea to place this miracle here come?” A bit more confusing, but yeah) See, the word here for “miracle” is “чудо” (pronounced smth like “choodo”), which can mean miracle or wonder, but can also be a shorthand for “чудище” or “чудовище” which is a word used to describe monsters. You know. Wonder-creatures. In this context, the word “чудо” when aimed towards a person (Clara) is meant to signify someone either ugly, eccentric or nonsensical. So to sum up, the best way to understand this line is “Who’s bright idea was it to bring this weirdo here?” in which case… Yeah, I can definitely see why that would end the dialogue.

Here’s a fun little thing: I’ve mentioned before how the Haruspex defines Clara in very vague terms. Here, when the Changeling (the real one, guys, trust me) is asking the Bachelor to deal with the Changeling pretending to be her(yeah, go figure), in English she calls her a “loathsome creature”. However, in Russian she calls her (according to Google translate) an “abomination”, “filth” or (in my own translation) “grossness”, which - you guessed it - is indeed a very vague term. Regardless of who you think is talking to the Bachelor at the moment, it’s still very interesting to see, for various reasons. She also does this later in the dialogue (and the English translation ignores it again)

More out of the same dialogue tree where the Bachelor is trying to get Clara’s blood. I’ve made a point in the analysis of the Bachelor from the Changeling’s perspective, where he calls her “darling” where the original was something like “sweet/dear creature” and almost had a sombre mood to it. In this one, however, it is the complete opposite. Not only does the word he uses here actually translate the best to “darling” (or dove), but it also has the same kind of ironic connotation to it as I mentioned. In this particular scenario he almost sounds… Thuggish? The words he uses, as well as the use of the “-ка” sounds similar to the snarky, confrontational way that thugs and bandits speak in cartoons. Something like “c’mere, dear” that makes it clear you’re about to get beaten up.

Two things here: firstly, in this dialogue line Clara refers to Daniil using the informal version of “you”, while the lines said by the Changeling whose blood he doesn’t get uses the formal version. In the interaction on day 3 Clara doesn’t address him directly at all, but I think in other dialogues she also addresses him informally (It isn’t surprising to see Clara address Daniil of all people informally, because not only does she see herself as, at least in part, a tool of divine whatevertheheck, she also rightfully believes that he is an idiot. She does not need to be polite to the stupidest man this side of the Gorkhon (I say this lovingly, of course).

Secondly though, I’d like to point out the way Daniil talks to her in here, because when I did my analysis of his lines I talked about how the English translation dials down the intensity of the stuff he says. This here is a prime example, as the Russian version is not only more curt, but also uses a much more cutting insult. Of course, people are well aware of the Russian language’s rich curse word vocabulary, but it also has the wonderful capability of making non-curse words sound like the most humiliating thing ever. I think maybe it’s the way Russian combines rolled “r”s and multiple consonants (which is less prominent in English) that allows its words to have that added weight to it. Here he calls her essentially “trash”, specifically - something that’s been so torn up and worn out that it's become useless. The way the word rolls off the tongue when you say it out loud is almost like a spit in the face, and it’s not softened by calling her “little” or anything. He calls her trash. How dare.

I’m bringing this up because it has me genuinely confused? The English version makes sense, or so I thought until I read the Russian version? Because the Russian version kinda states the opposite. It says “You can’t come up with a better knife for this than a conversation - of course, only if you’re in a hurry.” Which is very different from “unless you’re in a hurry” because those meanings are like… The opposite? The English implying that a conversation is a good way to see what’s going on in her soul, but the Russian one alluding to the fact that it’s only good if you’re in a hurry? Or is she agreeing to give her blood because they don’t have time for a conversation? I don’t know. I’m confused. Help.

I think the metanarratives of pathologic are very cool, so when I read this line in English I got really excited, because I thought it might be implying that Clara is aware of the fact that the player may have died a few times during the bachelor route alone (similar to how she calls the other healers her past or future). Then I realised that it simply could’ve meant “dying” as in being close to death. Then I got excited again, because I thought the Russian version might elucidate the issue for me. And… I think I was right? I think she implies here that Daniil has died several times, although it was probably just left vague for this specific purpose. Either way, the fact that it can be read this way and was probably worded like this just to confuse the players (and reward those who may have been on the lookout for it) is really cool to me. Also in response to that (where in English Daniil says Clara has “a shrewd eye for human condition”) he calls her a psychologist, and then brushes her off as trying to charm him, which means we don’t get to gauge the meaning of what she was saying through his response either.

This one has a couple of fun differences. Firstly, instead of referring to the town in its “true form” Clara refers to saving it “the way that the town turned out.” This, to me, is a slight difference that paints the contradictory nature of the town in a different light. The English version claiming that it’s the town’s “true” form almost makes it seem like a design from an outside force, both bringing up vibes of intelligent design and the fact that the town was made this exact way by the children. The Russian version’s implication that the town “turned out” this way has a more “nature is a chaotic force with no purpose” vibe to it, that would more suit a person unaware of the whole “we’re dolls for a children’s game inside of a video game” thing. Maybe I’ve just gotten used to being picky about the tiniest word choices because of my studies, but I feel like this difference changes the overall vibe. Like painting with the same colour but using a different brush.

Secondly, in Russian Clara calls Aglaya’s mission “simply a performance for fools” which to me is a wonderful choice of words, given all the theatre themes included in the gameplay.

I’ve kind of set a precedent where I make all of these “translation differences” have some sort of significant meaning for the narrative, but I just think this one is genuinely cool? It’s a bit of a “same colour, different brush” situation, where the sentiment is the same, but the word choice carries a different vibe. Focusing on the last sentence here, the Changeling specifically says “You were supposed to bribe him with your honesty” instead of “get at him”. And I just think that’s neat, because like. I always thought of “getting at someone” as like… An attack or provocation? But “bribing” someone has a bit more of that slimy vibe, which clashes with “honesty” so well, and… I guess it’d technically be an oxymoron.

During the conversation in regards to Clara acknowledging Maria as a mistress, in the Russian version she frequently switches between formal and informal “yous” when talking to the Bachelor. However, as it becomes clear here, this is an instance in which instead of a sign of respect, it seems that she is referring to several people at the same time. Namely, that she is directing her words both at Daniil and Artemy. During the Bachelor’s campaign she seems to think that the Haruspex is a lost cause and they seemingly don’t interact (and she even believes that he is dead during this day), so I doubt she actually ever spoke to him about this. It’s interesting then that she still tries to convince the Bachelor, even though she often calls him a fool. Makes you wonder what the differences are between this scenario and the Changeling campaign (in which she can invite Artemy to the Cathedral on the final day fully knowing that he chooses to stay oblivious).

Here’s some silly Clara on day 12 (right after giving a whole speech about the Polyhedron) and I just wanted to point out this very fun change. Instead of saying “pretty face” she instead says “мордашка” (pronounced “mordashka”) which is a diminutive of “морда” (“morda) which is usually the word people use to refer to an animal’s face. Except it can also be used to refer to a person’s face if you’re calling them ugly. The addition of the diminutive adds a little mischievous tone to it, which turns it from ugly into a “cute” kind of thing. Like… Derpy, I guess. Anyways, I think it’s absolutely hilarious that Clara says that while also talking about the eldritch concept of being a multitude of people, or perhaps just one person controlled by the will of different people at different times (which they all are, by the way).

Big difference here that I found absolutely odd as in why they cut it out of the English version? This is from the “did you know we are toys?” dialogue tree and if you look carefully, you’ll see that there’s a bit here in Russian that for some reason wasn’t included in the English version. The last sentence after Clara says that she has an advantage. She adds “and I intend to use it.” Which like… I feel to someone who hasn’t played patho before would sound antagonistic, but to those who know - this is a direct indication to how it feels like playing as Clara in the campaign. You know a lot more about the game and the characters from other campaigns. And you already know that the kids are there and that they are toys. While playing you use all this knowledge to your advantage to play the game better. So yeah, don’t know why they cut that out of the translation.

Alright, I think that’s about all I’ve got for Clara’s role in the Bachelor’s campaign. I’d say the biggest differences that I notice is, of course, the biblical language (which I didn’t get good examples of unfortunately, but the whole “your eyes are white for you are blind” is a good example) and the subtle ways in which the words Clara uses hint to her knowledge of what is going on. As always, it’s something that’s also present in the English version, but there are also things that are characteristic to the Russian language that allow her to break the fourth wall. Like, with the change to a formal “you” we can get a bit more clarity on whether the Clara we’re talking to is real or not. With the specific verbs she uses we can almost see the outline of a false bottom to everything she says and I think that’s really cool. Outside of the translations, I think it is genuinely fascinating to get a better glimpse into Clara’s story during the Bachelor campaign - I feel like if we got more of her, it would give the whole game away. In what she says already, talking about the wills behind her, behind the Bachelor (although she does count Artemy as part of the “special toys” camp, she always says it with such disappointment. Cuz she compares herself to him, but is also frustrated that he refuses to get it) she alludes to being aware of not only the stagehands, but also the player and the power that they have. It’s also really cool because you can almost compare her to Aglaya, what with all the knowledge, sacrifice, and being doomed by the narrative. Except Clara’s approach is entirely different, although it’s difficult to glimpse through her frequently changing attitude. They both know “the Law”, both talk about how miracles should not be captured - except Aglaya seeks to undo what has been done, while Clara wants to forge ahead, accept the changes as part of the world. They both seek to fix what’s wrong, but what to them is considered “fixing” is so directly opposed that they have to destroy each other. I don’t know. I just think that both of them are really cool characters that totally don’t make me wanna scream, cry, and throw up, and you know… They deserve just as much love and obsessive analysis as the men in the story (speaking of which, in one of the dialogue trees where Clara talks about Block essentially becoming a crusader she can also admit that she knows it’s not true and that he’s also doomed, but she feels so bad about it that she pretends that he isn’t. And who knows, with a miracle worker like her it might just become the truth).

Also I'm thinking of maybe at one point or another making a name pronunciation, meaning, nickname, and literary references guide? Idk, sounds like it'd be fun.

I feel like a weird little bog creature whenever I emerge with one of these. Have fun and remember to engage your critical thinking skills, fact check, and let the media you encounter change you (be it through vulnerability or empowerment) instead of just being fodder for your consumption.

#pathologic #pathologic classic hd #мор утопия #ramblings #clara saburova #daniil dankovsky #we're at 26 pages yipeee

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havana-syndrom · 22 days

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My EESU headcanons nobody asked for:

I read through the works of @dresden-syndrome and worked up some things about the lore, mainly concerning comrade Erhardt and Radím:

Radím has heavy Czech accent when speaking German. Despite his best efforts for proper pronunciation, the accent still peaks through whenever he speaks.

Günther finds it very cute, though he would never openly admit it. Atleast not to Radím. Instead he teases him about it. Especially his heavy R's.

Prior to his capture, Radím wanted to learn German as part of a plan to some day escape to Western Germany. The irony of his current situation makes him feel bitter. Now he’s learning German to communicate with his captor. To better serve the regime he worked so hard against. Knowing that he will never get more than a few feet away from Gunther, let alone getting away this god forsaken country.

Radím dreamed about learning English and maybe make his way to USA. However there wasn't much opportunity in Czechoslovakia to learn English. In this political minefield, attempting to learn it instantly got you put on a watchlist. As a counter-revolutionary he didn't want to draw more attention to him so he didn't pursue it.

The top choices for second language in Czechoslovakia were Russian or German. Radím learned a bit of both but focused more on German since he saw it as his potential ticket across the iron curtain.

German grammar has so many opportunities to make a mistake. Der/Die/Das, mein/meine. Not to mention the pronunciation and the unforgiving word order. This basically gives Günther a green card to punish his pet anytime he feels like it. This way its more painful for Radím because he knows this could have been avoided.

Russian is the main language used across the soviet union. So naturally, Günther as a government official must know it. He can both and read and understand Russian pretty well. He can speak Russian too but only does so when necessary, since its pretty tough for a German to speak Slavic language.

Because of that, he can understand quite a bit from what Radím is saying when he speaks Czech. Most of the time he pretends he pretends he doesn't. Its a wonderful opportunity to peek into the thoughts of his prisoner.

Günther probably also knows some Czech basics since he worked in Czechoslovakia. Its a neighbouring country and lot of Czechs and Slovaks work in Eastern Germany, since its seen as a more developed country.

Radím suspects that his owner knows a few words or phrases in Czech. He avoids swearing in Czech at all costs, since that's the first thing everyone learns. And a thing that you never forget. But it slips out so easy when you're under pressure.

Don't hesitate to correct me or share some of your thoughts about the lore! I love the story so much I can't stop thinking about it <3

#whump #whump community #military whump #authoritarian #ESSU #Eastern European Socialist Union #pet whump #enemy of the state #Radím #my beloved

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he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle · 20 days

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Get to Know Me Tag

Tagged by the feisty @lurkingshan, thanks Shan!

Do you make your bed?

Kinda. After my divorce, I bought lovely new bedding and happily made my bed every morning for like a year. Then I got lazy. I sorta half-ass it, where I fluff my pillows and pull up sheets and straighten the blankets and bed spread, but it's not photo-worthy or anything.

What’s your favorite number?

3. I like triads and trinities. In fact, I named my first dog Trinity. And I had three children!

What is your job?

I’m an author. I have 4 non-fiction books published under my given name and 15 fiction books published under a pseudonym. Many of my books were best sellers. Despite this fact, it is not enough to pay the bills. So I supplement my income with speaking engagements, teaching classes, and running a handful of websites, one of which is a wholesale distribution platform for artisanal imported foods. Basically, I'm self-employed and keep myself busy doing anything that interests me.

If you could go back to school, would you?

No. While I love learning and don't mind taking the occasional class to be introduced to a cool skill (like making stained glass!), I absolutely refuse to do any more higher education than I already have. I was sorta super nerdy at school because of an eidetic memory, so I collected degrees in Biblical Studies, Philosophy, Greek, Linguistics, and Russian Literature before I finally realized I didn't want to be a perpetual student.

Can you parallel park?

Nope. I learned how to do it to get my Driver's License over 30 years ago and have literally never had to use the skill since.

A job you had that would surprise people?

Hmmm. My job-jobs were all pre-children so people are surprised when they find out I ever had any since my last one was decades ago. But I didn't just have a few, I had a LOT of jobs because I finished school early and had to pay for my entire university education myself because of poor parents, and I think that's the most surprising thing. I was a waitress (14-16), a shop clerk (16-18), an acquisitions librarian's assistant (18-19), a bank teller (20), a digital librarian for a major software development company (20-21), a language tutor (18-21), an adjunct professor (22-24), a houseparent in a boy's home (24), and a cog in the county tax assessor's office (24-26). I also volunteered as a translator for Doctor's Without Borders and as a suicide prevention counselor for LGBTQ youth. At 26, I had my first child and became self-employed.

Do you think aliens are real?

Possibly, but I struggle to believe humans have ever interacted with any.

Can you drive a manual car?

Yes!

What’s your guilty pleasure?

Cop shows. I agree ACAB, but I love love LOVE the testosterone-fueled fantasy world of shows like Hawaii Five 0.

Tattoos?

None. I didn't want any at first because all the tattoos I'd seen on old people didn't age well thanks to saggy skin, wrinkles, etc. Now I kinda wish I'd had at least one.

Favorite color?

Dark azure.

Favorite type of music?

I LOVE IT ALL. If you live long enough, you discover awesome music in every genre. Like, I thought I hated heavy metal, but then I discovered the album Pale Communion by Opeth a decade ago and loved literally every single song!

Do you like puzzles?

Yes, but I don't make the time to do them.

Any phobias?

Heights. Absolutely terrifying.

Favorite childhood sport?

Cross country! I ran on my varsity team in HS and continued it through college.

Do you talk to yourself?

No. I am so quiet. On the weeks I don't have custody of my kids, I have sometimes had weeks where I work exclusively from home and don't interact with another human person beyond text messages and emails. When I finally speak out loud for the first time in days, the sound of my voice is jarring and unfamiliar.

What movies do you adore?

About Time. The Royal Tenenbaums. Shawshank Redemption.

Coffee or tea?

Coffee! I used to be more of a snob about it, but I recently fell in love with Korean instant coffees and THEY ARE SO GOOD. HOLY SHIZNITS.

First thing you wanted to be growing up?

A teacher in a foreign country.

I haven't been keeping track of who tagged who, so I'd like to tag @absolutebl @juneviews @twig-tea @sorry-bonebag @stefanyd @waitmyturtles @disaster-j @cooloddball @spicyvampire and @norahastuff If you'd like to play and I didn't tag you, please do!! Be sure to tag me so I can read your post.

#tag game

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nrdmssgs · 9 months

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A heart full of pity (part 4 (final))

Masterlist Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, smut

Summary: Cruelty leads to cruelty. This circle is difficult to break apart, sometimes it ends up breeding monsters, chimeras. But if one participant finds the strength to show compassion: there is hope for everyone.

TW: Mention of scars left by an injury (burns). Swearing. Smut part under cut. Thanks: @homicidal-slvt opened this portal for me and helped me share something very personal. I can never thank her enough. Check out her absolutely beautiful Nik drabble. @sofasoap created Lastochka series and got me absolutely enamored by a character I, could barely stand before. This is the real power of writing. And my dear @gamergirlbones who woke up one morning and decided to be the best, most supporting and encouraging person out there.

Authors note: Im sorry for Nik literally not shutting up for a single minute in smut-part. In his defence: he behaved for a good two parts. This is the final part. I may return to these characters one day, but this story arc is over.

Their final destination appears to be a secluded sea bay, which would look like a tourist heaven if it was located in a more popular country. For the first time, Nikolai doesn't take her on a meeting, and she is on her own till the evening, when they were supposed to go have a much-needed drink. She couldn't wrap her head around the fact, that Nik not only had a full military organization at his disposal, but also was trying to hire her even in her present ‘useless’ state. “I need you.” These were the exact words, he used that morning, leaving her alone at their table. The words stuck in her head, as she was aimlessly roaming around a seashore, cooling her barefoot in water. Here, away from prying eyes, she could finally take off a warm thick shirt and expose her back to sun rays. In the evening, Nik meets her at the hotel entrance, and she immediately regrets agreeing to go out for a drink with him. Of course, she hoped to take her mind off his "Project C" for at least an hour. But she hadn't planned on being distracted by the top buttons of his shirt, which were, quite ‘by accident’, left unbuttoned. And by no means did she plan to stare at the rolled-up sleeves hugging tightly his forearms. She felt, she was desperately losing the ‘look anywhere but at him’ contest every time she caught his smug grin. He was clearly amused by her attempts to find any topic to speak on, just to avoid long pauses in which he just tilted his head lightly while looking at her. “I've just remembered that time Gaz asked me if there were any specifically Russian drinking games. I had to think for 5 minutes straight and still didn't manage to come up with anything.” She takes a sip out of her glass, not raising her gaze. “How does ‘survive the morning after drinking with a Russian’ sounds?” Nikolai lets out a dark chuckle. “Oh no, even I suck at it. A thousand years ago, when I was still young and naive, I once drank rum with a guy, claiming, that I was immune to alcohol due to my origins… I believe my lips were all over him just a few hours later. And on the next morning, my head was killing me.” By the end of the story her face goes red, but she shares it anyway, since the memory is more funny than embarrassing after all these years. “Poor little one.” Nik reaches out and pats her head. “But you also make me question myself, why the hell aren't we drinking rum.” “Because I now can't stand even a smell of it. And because you don't need it.” She looks beyond his back at slowly crowding bar. A few pairs of pretty eyes are glued to Nikolai, and she envies them for being able to sneak a peak, while he doesn't notice. The more people gather in the bar, the more stuffy and warm it becomes. At some point, she understands, that all the layers of cloth, she is hiding her skin under, are going to suffocate her. So she excuses herself and goes to the ladies room. There, she closes her eyes and splashes some water on her face. “Excuse me?” An unfamiliar voice is calling. She brushes the drops from her eyes and turns towards the sound. Two women: mesmerizing eyes, caramel tan, light sundresses dancing around soft curves, smiles making the whole room seeming more illuminated. “Yes?” She straightens her back. “Excuse us if we misread, we've noticed you and your partner sitting there, and… do you guys date? Because if yes, then sorry again.” One of them speaks, while the other is standing back, trying to mask her interest. She stares blankly at them for a couple of seconds, processing, what she just heard. “Ehm, no! No, we are just colleagues…” “Oh in that case don't you mind if we talk to your colleague? You see, she back there has a thing for accents, and I am here more for show… and to help her.” “Yes, of course!” It seems, her brain turns off and her mouth keeps forming words automatically. “In fact, I was just going to call it a night anyway, so he'll be free in a 5. He's a great guy, yes. Nik. Very nice one…” She mumbles some more nonsense and storms out of the room.

She manages to sneak behind Nikolai and leave the bar. On the way back to the hotel, she takes out her smartphone and types a message. "Sorry, just remembered something urgent. Don't worry, I'm fine. Please have fun.” As soon as the display blinks, showing a new notification - she turns the smartphone off.

Back in her room, she finally drags her clothes off. Her head is full of questions, she is angry, disappointed and despondent, her eyes burn with tears. “This is the right thing, the right, very right thing to do,” she mutters, stepping in the shower. Yes, of course it was only right to help a good friend to find a pleasing company. Well, maybe, it wasn't so gracious of her to run away, but she let him know, she was ok. Tomorrow, he himself will thank her for being such a nice wingman. What obviously isn't the right thing to do is to picture their fingers undoing his belt and shirt, playing with his hair… She growls and turns on freezing water. She hates cold showers, even in summer. But now anything will do just to shush those images away from her mind. Ice-cold water cramps her wrists, pains her legs. She closes her eyes and leans against the wall. Drops of water mix with tears, flow down and disappear into the drain. "You did the right thing," she whispers as shivers run through her body. She is interrupted by a knock on the door. "Great, let's have someone else mix up their room with mine and break in here," she mutters, wrapping herself in a towel. The knock repeats and she opens the door just a bit so that she could assess the extent of her problem and decide if she can handle it on her own. Nikolai is standing outside the door and his appearance alone does not bode well. Never before has she seen such a deep worry on his face. “You ok?” he reaches out his hand to her, but she backs up. “Can we at least talk? Please.” She lets him in and frantically dresses up in a bathroom, while he is waiting outside. “Sure, we can talk. Anything wrong?” She tries her best to sound calm and happy. When she walks in back in the room, he hands her his smartphone. “You tell me. If I did anything wrong, if I scared you with that rum-joke or crossed any line - you tell me, please. But don't sneak behind my back, setting some random girls on me. Don't disappear like that, because it is scary. And you know, I'm not the one to get frightened easily.” She looks down on his phone. He texted and called her. A lot. Guilt squeezes her throat, stings her chest so hard that she struggles to breathe in. She sits on her bed and gives him his phone back. “I'm sorry, Nik, I didn't mean to ruin your night. It's just… They asked me and I thought, it would be nice for you to look at someone other than me for one evening. Someone jolly and fun.” “Why do you make it all about me, little one? What about our night, why give up on it? For a sake of some ladies, you see for the first and the last time in your life?” He lifts her face by the chin, and she notices that his hair was disheveled. Perhaps he was really in a hurry to find her and ran. “For your sake. I wanted you to have a good time. You deserve to be surrounded by beautiful people, to have a little joy here and there.” Despite guilt burning inside, she made herself look him in the eyes. “And that beauty and joy exclude you? Who said you that, dear? Who was that idiot? Give me the name.” His tone is still warm and friendly, but his words make her nervous.

“No, Nikolai, this is not a situation, where you need to prove me wrong about my appearance. I'm ok with that, I promise. How I look, how I make others feel, is not my entire personality. I'm fine with being the way I am now.” Her voice trembles treacherously. “You are so fine with that, you hide yourself under a ton of sweaters, jackets, long pants, hoodies throughout the whole summer. And if I don't comment on that - it doesn't mean I don't notice. Now stop ignoring my question and give the name.” He smiles as if he doesn't plan on having ‘the talk’ with anyone, who planted this idea in her head. “It hurts even to glance at me.” The familiar words that escape her lips felt like they doused him with boiling water. It was him, all this time it was his words, that brought her pain, made her hate her own body. Nik slowly sinks on the bed beside her. “Grebanniy pridurok*” He quietly curses at himself, looking right before him. “Now, how about you end this charity evening and leave my room? Because I know, a heart full of pity can gather me an army, get me any weapon, set half a city on fire… but let us stop right there, because I don't want your attention or affection when it's all a ruth.” Her voice becomes again colorless and plain, just like the day he made her look at her reflection. “I was out of my pity for you on the very next morning after they hurt you.” Nik goes to the bathroom and returns with a towel. He sits beside her, carefully takes her wet hair, that soak her shirt and dries them with a towel. “The moment you woke up after that night, when you barely slept because of pain. At that exact moment I saw, you are not done fighting. At that exact second, there was no more pity for you. Maybe it was too soon, too hard on you. But if I had a pity - I wouldn't say that nonsense only to push you forward.” His touch is gentle and light. After drying her hair, he softly pulls her unbuttoned shirt down as it was so wet, he could see another layer of cloth under it. She doesn't protest, she just stares silently at the wall, letting him do whatever he wants. What difference does it make if she doesn't feel anything anyway? So she thought until his fingers brush against her shoulder. “You know, when you climb above the cloud level in an airplane, you can look down and not recognize clouds. There is this ‘altostratus’ type, that looks like frozen sea waves from above. Just like this place right here.” He traces a semi-circle on the back of her shoulder covered with marks and seams and covers it with an open warm palm. Her pulse quicken with panic: she hasn't felt anything in months, she could even accidentally cut her scorched skin and not notice, and now she clearly felt Niks` touch. “And when you climb up a bit more - you may find cirrostratus clouds. They float like bird feathers underwater and look just like this.” His fingers move the strap of her tank top a little and draw a pattern over one of her scars. “But my favourite one is cumulonimbus, a feisty one. Heart of thunder and plane hunter, it can produce tornado, lightnings, severe weathers of almost any kind. But it is gorgeous: it towers above others and changes constantly. Like this deep line, going down your spine.” “Nikolai, you really believe, fetishizing my scars will help?” She hides her face, feeling her cheeks burning and her heart racing. Whatever he was doing - it was working, as he made her feel something long forgotten. “Apparently you believe, hiding behind a sarcasm will help. So why don't I go on and be honest with you and repeat, that what I said a few months ago is an absolute bullshit and I regret every word of it. And I see beauty in those battle scars. Not some ‘funny face’ type of attractiveness, but a true beauty I used to see only up in the air.” Nikolai slips down the bed and ends up on his knees just to meet her face. “What do I have left apart from a sarcasm? I don't know what should I do.” She smiles bitterly.

“You have a great deal of grief, you have anger, you don't let out. Why not share it all with someone, who is here for you?” And if that wasn't enough, Nik squeezes her hand, making her finally look at his face. “You want anger? I am angry, Nikolai. I am pissed.” She starts talking quietly. “I hate myself for getting into this mess, for letting my Captain down. I hate it, that everyone around me are always right. Like Price was right about you being a good guy, you were right about me being able to pull the mission through. I'm surrounded by so many wise men, and I hate being the one you all get to teach. I hate it that my life consists of hospital screenings and that you are laying yourself out just to change that. ‘Here is new job’, ‘here is new contract’, just because I can't go on with 141… And I swear to god, you call me ‘little one’ one more time and i'm gonna break your face. I'm not that much younger than you, Nik! But the worst part in this situation…” She cradles his face and for one short moment digs her fingers in his temples. “The worst part is that even with all this frustration, I'm still sorry, that circumstances did not turn out differently, and I can't let myself even try to… nevermind, this all doesn't make any sense, when I say it out loud…” Her hands fall limply on her knees. “I have so much to say.” He straightens his back, takes her hands and returns them to his face. “But I'll start with the last part. Ti mozhesh. Moya khoroshaya, ti mozhesh pozvolit sebe podpustit` kogo-to blizhe. Ya skoree sam sebe ruku otgrizu, chem sdelau tebe bol`no, moe nebo. Odno slovo, odno slovo i ya ostavly tebya v pokoe. Nikogda ne potrevozhu. No mne nuzhno eto slovo*.” She listens to him and slowly shakes her head. “I can't let you closer and pretend my body causes me anything apart disgust and fear. I know, there are many things beyond physicality, but I don't want to be a constant reminder, you'll never feel a warmth of simple touch.”

His lips cover hers so swiftly, she doesn't even manage to get scared or worried. His touch, his moves - everything is full of care. He wasn't ‘testing the waters’ or teasing. She could only describe what he did as ‘kissing all the worries away’. He covers her hands on his cheeks with his palms, leaning closer, letting her cling to him, hiding her behind his figure. It's only when he feels, she is no that tense anymore, he pauses and speaks without even leaning back. “Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think, this was that exact warmth of touch, you were talking about. And I love it. And crave more if you have any to share and feel like it.” For a few long moments she doesn't move, as if weighing all the pros and cons. Nik lets her take time and closes eyes, silently enjoying the moment, her proximity, her hands, her scent. “If you feel anything, you'd rather not feel - tell me right away.” Her lips brushing against his cheek, as she says it, send shivers down his body. “There is nothing, not a single thing, I'd rather miss, when it comes to you.” He melts under her reserved touch, catches her hands just to press a kiss on a knuckle, leans closer, cups her cheeks to pepper her face with kisses. It's when his lips meet hers once again, he makes her frown, gradually going for a deeper kiss. A wave of his deep earthly scent fills her nostrils, carries her mind away. The outlines of the room blur before her eyes. She doesn't want to think, how much grace of his touch is left there for her, so she loses herself in his hands, letting him wrap her in a tight embrace, gently lower her onto the bed. Hovering over her, he does not allow their bodies to touch, reducing contact to his fingers, tracing lines over her jawline and neck. He stays close enough to share his warmth, but he keeps the minimum distance even when she sinks her fingers in his hair, guiding him closer. He clenches his jaw, keeping his own desires in control. “Patience is such an underrated virtue. I was never the one to practice it bona fide. But I've waited so long for you, I may restrain myself for a few hours more, until there is absolutely no doubts left on your mind.” “...you've waited? Nik, I don't want to disappoint, but there is not much to look forward to.” She leans back against the pillow, letting him go, but he catches her hand. “You never felt lingering gazes, touches, that could definitely last shorter?” He chuckles darkly. “Never assumed, I might have thoughts about you, about what would you feel like? Dear, I dreamt about it, I fantasized, I came to it.” He leans closer for another kiss, and she stops hearing any distant noises, coming from behind her door. There is only his breath, becoming heavy, his deep velvety voice, his heartbeat.

“You will help me stay patient, won't you, dear?” Nikolai dips his head, licks his lips. His pupils are blown wide and dark. He needs her help, if she wants to go slow. There is only one problem: she doesn't. Not when he is that close and his fingers brush against her neck, lightly clasp around her throat for a brief moment and then go on tracing a long line down her collarbone. Not when his breath is hot on her earlobe. Not when he frowns and softly growls every time she squeezes her thighs around his waist.

It is only when there is no more clothes on her, she understands why Nik is so careful and slow: he eases her into the feel of him. But he does it so smoothly, she can't even remember, how he started undressing her. Maybe it's his ‘fixer’ nature, making him insensibly lead his target to any action, any consequence, Nikolai needs. Or maybe he really doesn't want to scare her, to lose her right after he finally got her all to himself. Either way, in the end it is her fluttering her eyes shut, panting and mewling ‘Please, I need you’ clinging to his shirt, that he still doesn't let her unbutton. “In a good time, moe nebo, in a good time, I promise,” he murmurs, caressing her inner thighs, running his fingers over her slick and covering her lips with his to drink on her moans. Her arousal covers his fingers as he presses inside her, thumb tucked against her clit. She tries desperately to be still, to accept anything he might give and not grind against his hand, asking for more friction. “Posmotri na menya, milaya. Mne nuzhni tvoi glaza*.” His pulse is throbbing in his wrist, pushed against her core, making it almost impossible for her to concentrate. Yet she manages to open her eyes, dark with desire. “There's my girl.” He grins, as her whole body tenses, tightens, when he pushes the first digit deeper in. As his deep long thrusts are not enough, he leaves a wet trail of open mouth kisses from her ear to her chest and hovers just adobe her nipples. "You must already hate me for taking so long, poor thing. Just look at you - dripping wet. But there are so many things, I want to do to you, so much time I want to spend on you, so many things, I want to taste on you. I'm enjoying every moment of it and so will you, because I'm going to make sure you come for me, my girl." His hot breath rolls against her skin, while his fingers quicken. She arches her back, barely containing waves of pleasure, taking over her fogged mind. “Sh–h-h, my dear, there is more. So much more out there. I haven't even started, haven't even tased this heaven beneath me.” his gaze roams around her breasts. “You know, there is a certain technique to do that? First you circle it with your tongue,” and his hot wet tongue traces a circle around her nipple, barely touching its edges. “And then, you run the flat of your tongue over it.” Nik doesn't limit it to one touch: his tongue caresses her hardening nipple over and over again, all while his thrusts get bolder. “And only after that you can squeeze it, put it in your mouth…” He does just as he has said, thriving on her tender skin.

Her toes curl in ecstasy, when he whispers with a tad ragged breath ‘let me check, how my precious girl is doing down there’ and pulls his fingers out of her burning hot sleek. Her breath catches in her throat as he savors on her juices, sucking on his fingers. She presses her lips together, but her plaintive sob still reaches his ears. “I'm sorry, my dear, but this tastes so good, I just need more,” Nikolai is cooing, brushing away a lone tear, rolling down her cheek. He keeps covering her body in kisses, slowly moving down. “Wait! You don't need to, this is not necessary, really!” She manages to cover herself just before his lips press against her sex. The kiss is pressed nevertheless. And then another and another one, till his tongue brushes between her fingers, trying to reach out for what Nik is aiming for. He wouldn't stop talking, when he could easily avoid any words at all, but now, when he could really ask - he decided to convince her without words. With a few strokes he slips through her fingers and grunts. “See? No need to hide yourself from me.” He takes her hand and guides it to the back of his head. “Here is something for you to hold on to, dear.” Her mouth falls open as her vision whites out completely, when his tongue drags along her slick and flickers over her clit. He purrs praises, chuckles at her fruitless attempts to control herself, hisses, when she tries to pull him away, but never stops, not for a single moment. His tongue dances on her flesh, as his fingers accompany every movement. Every touch, every single stroke feels absolutely intoxicating. His tight grip on her waist, his warmth, his soft yet persistent touch doesn't help her to stay quiet and reserved. “Don't hold back, my girl, don't even think of holding back with me.” His deep rumbling voice has such a power over her, that she feels her mind spiraling in a dark void of pleasure the next moment, he says that. She doesn't feel other parts of her body, doesn't care for her scars, for callused skin, marked with severe burns. All she feels is her heartbeat throbbing in her pussy, as he is feasting. Her release, irresistible and powerful, washes like a wave down her body. She tries to cover her mouth to not scream, but Nikolai catches her hand in a mid-flight. “Those moans belong to me! No one may steal them from me, not even you, my dear!” He groans, when he finally returns to her lips, as she is still trembling. “I`m sorry, I… I was trying to keep this just between us and not wake up people next door.” She is breathless, so it's a miracle, she manages to answer him.

“Such a greedy girl. Not letting others enjoy her moans. You are afraid that these sounds will get stuck in their heads, provoking them to try to picture you, to fantasize, to get hard or wet with a mere memory of your voice?” Nikolai grins, noticing that he can make her blush even after she came all over his lips and fingers. She looks at him pleadingly, tucking under his shirt, and he finally lets her unbutton it with a nod. “Go on, dear, but don't forget, I have opposite plans. I want them all to hear, how I make you feel. And I'm not turning down on my intentions today, no matter how nicely you ask.”

He gives her complete freedom, lets her do whatever she pleases: be it grazing her teeth along his neck or unbuckling his belt. He doesn't interrupt her and only hisses and clutches the cool fabric of the sheet in his hand to channel a tension, she awakes deep inside him. Her fingers slide down his abdomen and her lips start following down his chest, when Nik catches her, presses closer to his body to let her feel, how desperate he's already for her. “Wait, wait, my dear, not now. I need to be inside you. I need to fuck you. Moe nebo, proshu tebya*.” And she feels him: hot, painfully hard and pulsing under her fingertips. In the back of her head, she understands, this might hurt as now their size difference is more obvious than ever, but at this point, she doesn't care. So when he hovers over her, slowly angling himself, she arches her back, pulling herself closer, not caring for a burning pain accompanying him stretching her. “No, not like that. I said, I'd rather bite my own hand off than hurt you, my girl, and I meant it. Let me guide you.” He brings his lips to hers and goes in for a long kiss. Nik eases into her with gradual thrusts: each next going just a bit deeper. His lips don't leave hers, even when a throaty rumbling sound escapes his mouth. It is one part desperate, one part growl, all encompassing as he finally sinks into her, making her eyes roll back as he gathers her up to him. “I thought I knew, how good would it feel to be inside you… Oh what a fool, what a desperate fool I was. You feel hundred times better than my wildest dreams, dear.” Nikolai whispers, picking up his pace.

If she had any doubts left - there are no more, as her brain seems to short-circuit after he finds a new angle with which she feels every his vein. She gathers all her strength to last as long as she can, to stay focused, to not lose herself, but he doesn't let her. His movements become relentless as he squeezes her hips and presses her closer. “You are stubborn. I like it.” He grins despite a slight tremor in his voice. He freezes for a second, brushes hair out of her face, and leans a little closer to her ear. “You are stubborn, but so. am. I.” Every word is accompanied by a hard push, she mewls, tries to catch his lips, but he leans back. “Tvoi golos, moe nebo, mne nuzhen tvoi volshebnui golos*.” Everything in her body tightens, winding tighter at the request, his body slamming against hers, making her break with a scream. It covers up shameless sloppy sounds, with which he fucks her. She loses sense of time as his throbbing cock doesn't let her climb down to sweet aftershocks after her peak. “Stubborn, but so generous to me, letting me ravish in your moans and clenching around me that tight.” All she knows - her entire body burns with a sensation, she never felt before, when he catches her shoulder in an open mouth kiss growing into a bite as he comes. He doesn't stop, as if dragging her to her peak twice was not enough - even when his body is shaking with a wave of pleasure - he makes his point. He is not backing up until she is fully, completely at his mercy. “Moe. Moe nebo. Tolko moe.*” Her hips tremble with overstimulation and he softens his pace gradually until he barely moves. Nik carefully cups her face and touches her forehead with his lips. No kiss - just a gentle touch, quiet cooing, his voice helping her mind find a way back. He holds her close while she comes to her senses, whispering praises, and doesn't pull out until she lets him. Its only later, when he brings her in shower and runs warm water, cleaning her up, she remembers, why she was afraid of letting him close in the first place. She takes a step back, pressing her back against the wall, but Nikolai immediately shakes his head and pulls her back in his embrace. “No-no-no, don`t. It is my sky, my heaven. Never hide it from me, please.”

***

“Please, promise me one thing.” She whispers in his embrace, as he is holding her close to him, the same way, he held her on the first night after the operation. “Promise me, this wasn't an act of pity. I'll hate myself if you forced yourself to do… all this just of pity.”

“No pity in my heart left for you. Compassion maybe, but no pity.” Nikolai kisses her knuckles and forehead, pulling her closer.

As she slowly drifts to sleep, he looks at the dawn, dimly illuminating the night sky in the window behind her.

“There is no pity left in this heart - only you.”

*Grebanniy pridurok - bloody idiot.

*Ti mozhesh. Moya khoroshaya, ti mozhesh pozvolit sebe podpustit` kogo-to blizhe. Ya skoree sam sebe ruku otgrizu, chem sdelau tebe bolno, moe nebo. Odno slovo, odno slovo i ya ostavly tebya v pokoe. Nikogda ne potrevozhu. No mne nuzhno eto slovo - You can. My dear, you can let yourself let someone closer. I would rather bite off my own hand, than hurt you, my sky/my heaven. One word, one word and I'll leave you alone. Ill never disturb you. But I need your word.

*Posmotri na menya, milaya. Mne nuzhni tvoi glaza - Look at me, dear. I need your eyes.

*Moe nebo, proshu tebya - My heaven, please.

*Tvoi golos, moe nebo, mne nuzhen tvoi volshebnui golos. - Your voice, my heaven, I need to hear it.

*Moe. Moe nebo. Tolko moe. - Mine. My heaven. Only mine.

#cod #cod modern warfare #cod mw2 #cod mv2 #cod x reader #cod fanfic #call of duty mw2 #call of duty #mw2 x reader #modern warfare 2 #call of duty modern warfare 2 #cod mwii #mw2 fanfic #cod nikolai #nikolai cod #nikolai x you #cod x oc #nikolai x reader

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heartshapedbubble · 2 years

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guys guess what i finally fucking finished for the two people that are actually interested in my dm fic (impossible) !!!!!!!

"childhood friends", a d.m. fanfic🐍// chapter 2

NOT PROOFREAD YET AGAIN I AM IN PAIN, TW/CW for physical/verbal abus3, reader's gender not specified, OC insert and it's desire's dad and he fucking sucks, fuck sulphur mélodis all my homies hate sulphur mélodis, this all feels so rushed helpme how do you write, 90% of this isn't canon so don't use this as a source </3, ironically i hate reading angst but ummm

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I pity child me.

So clueless. So young and innocent, not aware of his destiny, and the role he has to play in the adult world. An easily manipulated marionette, just waiting to be grasped and controlled by someone with power.

I wasn't fit for ordinary life. It was obvious since day one - toys were replaced by hardcover books, and the time I could have spent playing was instead fulfilled by studying and learning. None of the adults that I was surrounded by radiated that warm, protective aura of a loving parent. Not even my own father.

And still, I kept trying to find my place in the human world. I clawed through the ever-growing shadows just to make a small mold for myself to fit into the ordinary, even though I knew my pathetic attempts will be suppressed sooner or later. The vision of ideal life was like a small window on a cold, thick wall, but the sunrays seeping through it shined brighter than anything i've ever seen before.

I wanted to be loved.

Even though I knew I was never supposed to be loved.

But what fueled me the most was that night. Their teethy, innocent smile. Their childish way of speaking and all of the sweet joys of life they decided to show me. That night lingered in my head for years, to the point I idealized it way more than i should. It was nothing like i experienced before but it felt like... home. It might have been just an overly glamorized moment, but it gave me hope. Hope that one day I might escape from the empty, lonely world that surrounded me. That there's something better out there. The images of that night etched themselves into my brain, each part looping over and over again to the point I memorized them by heart. But it was all in vain - one part of myself knew that anyway.

To this day, I still wish I stopped trying immediately.

It would have hurt less.

The street was empty, except for the fast, loud tapping of feet.

Desire swore that he never ran this fast in his life - he could feel saliva sticking to the sides of his lips and all the various pebbles under his feet trying to kick off his balance. But it didn't matter. Even though his body seemed like he was dying, he never felt more alive. He quickly wiped off the beads of sweat rolling down his forehead with his sleeve, and hid behind a bush in front of his house to catch a breath. The ghastly villa was silent as usual, only the window of his father's office gleaming with cold, bright light.

He slowly picked himself up and got into the house as quickly and silently as possible. Still panting as he folded his coat, he sat beside the clothing rack. He slowly tapped his face as the heat lingered on his fingertips. Damn it, I'm probably red in the face, too. Now that he arrived home safely, the only thing remaining to do was to sneak into his room without alerting anyone.

Trying to sneak through the villa was no easy feat - the house was older than Desire (and probably his father, too) and every single door creaked, even with minimal movement. But there was no other way to get out of this situation without alerting his father in a more obvious way - Desire decided he's going to play the russian roulette of creaky floorboards today. Even if his father notices it, it could be brushed off since all of the butlers had already left the house by this time of the day. Slowly taking his heavy pair of shoes off, he stepped onto the first polished plank, praying to every single deity he could name off the top of his head that it doesn't creak.

The plank responded by silently wedging into the floor under his weight. Thank god. He slowly continued down the hallway, stretching out his legs with every step as if he was some long-legged stork. It was easier to trigger the creaking that way, but it was also the fastest option. Desire just wanted all of this to end, as soon as possible. His glance ended up on the staircase, right in front of him. Moving up the carpet-covered stairs was a way easier challenge, so once he reaches it, the hardest part of the job will be done. After that conclusion, he noticed his feet almost moved on their own. He was sloppier and quicker, but he just couldn't stop the rush of excitement and relief running through his brain in circles. Just a bit more, he thought, adrenaline pumping through his veins, and I'm going to be in my room, sleeping in my bed and dreaming of-

"Desire."

He froze on the spot, and the last step let out an obnoxiously loud creak. He knew that he would screw up, as usual.

"Don't make me call you over for the second time. Come to my office, and hurry up."

His heart felt like it might just break through his ribcage. There was no other choice but to accept his fate and head towards his father's office at the other end of the hallway. He slowly turned away and began walking towards it. It was nauseating, getting closer and closer to the door that seemed to get bigger and bigger with each step. The polychromed silver carvings on the top of it started looking like sharp, massive fangs, as if the door was a monster's gaping mouth ready to swallow him whole. A million thoughts echoed through his mind, none of them being uplifting and helping him calm down. As if that wasn't enough, he felt a knot starting to tie in his stomach, tugging tighter with each new thought popping up.

Finally, he reached the door, feeling his knees slowly twitching as he stood. He laid his hand on the big iron doorknob - it was ice cold, immediately numbing his fingers upon touching it. Hesitatingly, he pushed the door open, and let his eyes adjust to the dim, cold light of the room.

"What's with the slowness? Come over here. Take a seat."

Sulphur Mélodis was a man of tall, menacing stature, making even the most stern of Desire's lecturers flinch when he raised his voice. Despite his build, he was nothing but expensive, yet classy jewelry and sharp, sleek shadows in a fitted, tailored coat. His long charcoal grey hair draped around his neck in thick, gentle waves, and a lone, silver streak of hair ran down by his cheek like a coiled snake. If it wasn't for Desire's vibrant, blue eyes and round chubby face, he'd be a spitting image of his father.

"Father". Ew. That word left a bitter aftertaste in his mouth whenever he had to say it, and even saying it out loud alone felt like a suppresed cough, something he had to forcefully spit out just to get him to pay attention or notice his presence. In reality, Sulphur could be anything but a father, hell, he was more of a potential president candidate than a parent. Desire didn't even consider him a family member sometimes - he was the same like any other of his teachers, butlers and caretakers, treating him as if he was some surreal being or a porcelain doll on a display, except Sulphur was the only one of them that dared to forcefully grip his wrist and put him back to his place. The only one of them that dared to show any actual authority.

He headed towards the end of the table where his father sat, a pulled out wooden chair waiting for him. The dim light couldn't beat the dark shadows, so it only illuminated the sharp edges and corners of his face, carving it out to the point his father's head looked like a skull. Shaking, he sat on the chair and squinted - his eyes finally adapted to the dark and he managed to make out his grey eyes glaring at him. Desire swore on his life that his pupils were just pitch black tunnels that light never refracted from.

"What are you doing up so late? It's already ten o'clock. You should have already been asleep." His father said. His voice was hoarse and silent, but that could change in just about a second.

"I went out to get a cup of warm milk. I couldn't fall asleep." Desire whispered back. What a damn lie. Lying to Sulphur Mélodis was the dumbest thing anyone could do, but here he was, a five-foot-three eleven year old king of all clowns, daring to do so. It was all out of desperation, but he knew damn well that this all could backfire on him in a moment. Still, he dug himself a grave by lying already, and the only thing left to do was to keep digging and pray that the punishment won't be too bad.

"To the kitchen?" Sulphur tilted his head. "The butlers already left your usual dinner for you next to your room. Warm dinner. And this has been going on for years now. How could you forget a crucial part of your routine?"

"I mean, it... happens?"

"Just like that, I presume." He reached into the dark to grab his cane, which always somewhere by his side. He quickly spinned it in his hand, the feather-shaped iron tip pointing at Desire's leg. The tip tore apart the stitched hole in his sock with ease. Desire pressed his lips together. "For silk socks, you have to double stitch to prevent the soft material from ripping apart once again. You've been slacking off during your housekeeping class, haven't you?" One thing was sure, his father was right - Desire often didn't pay attention in classes he considered boring. How would learning how to properly wash glass surfaces help him in life anyway? Sometimes a class would be better spent with a good book on his lap. Besides that, his teacher was a bore. Luckily, even though she wore glasses, she was oblivious to whatever Desire was doing during class, as she seemingly thought reading some fashion magazines during the lecture and lazily assigning tasks would make him get to work.

A gloved finger approached his cheek, rubbing itself onto the sticky surface. "I don't remember ordering peaches for today's meals, either." He silently wiped his hand with a hankerchief.

"I took one from last week's fruit basket. I forgot I had it."

"Those were ripe, homegrown peaches. They would have started rotting by the next two days."

"Well.. maybe you forgot you ordered peaches?"

"That's the thing, Desire: I never forget."

He leaned in towards Desire, two gray, emotionless dots staring directly into his soul. "Not only did you become forgetful and carefree, you're also a horrible liar."

The cane was yet again nested in his palm as he rose up from the chair, towering over his son like a giant. "Come on now. Spit it out. What's happening, Desire? Anything you need to tell me? Everything can be fixed."

It was such an attractive offer. An urge rose up inside of him, an urge to tell him how much he hates having to spend every damn minute of the day studying, how tired he is of being shut up every time he tries to speak up for himself, and how much he despises him. How he hates him for stripping him from his childhood for his own stupid, selfish reasons. How he wants to be free of all the numerous boundaries and limits. He wanted to cry, to scream, to choke on his own tears and point his finger right into his own father's face. But what was the point? It wasn't something solved by tucking a folded stack of cash into one's front pockets and shutting them up, or whatever his father did to get people to mindlessly obey his commands.

"I went out today." He started. What Sulphur said started to seem more like a threat for him to be honest than a sincere encouragement. He was angry at himself - first he decides to lie, and after that he decides to get himself into even more trouble by telling the truth.

"What should I do with that information? On weekends you're allowed to go out for 20 minutes to get some fresh air."

"I don't think you understand. I went out. Away from the house. After dinner."

Sulphur's eye twitched.

"Where did you go?" His voice was still quiet, but Desire could sense the anger in it. He was struggling and gnawing at every word that came out of his mouth, as if he was chewing cement.

"A couple of houses away. I wasn't out for too long anyway."

"This evening you were supposed to have extra English classes. What was the lecturer doing at the time?"

"He went home. You should have seen his face when I handed him the cash and told him to get out as quietly and quickly as possible." His voice was shaky and out of breath, and his legs still trembled, but god, was it a good feeling to snap back for once. He already fucked up simply by trying to get himself out of this situation as soon as possible, so why not die today too?

"Did you go out alone?"

"No. I went with a friend. They were the person who invited me out anyway."

The vein near his father's eye was pulsing as his eyes started seeming emptier and emptier. "I see. You're starting to show some spine." He slowly strutted around his chair, like a vulture circling around a fresh corpse ready to devour it.

"Too bad you decided to show it to the wrong person."

It all went down before Desire could even think of a comeback to his words. The cane slammed the leg of the chair with immense force, making it collapse into pieces, and making him fall down along with it, too. He landed straight on his back, the rough landing pushing all of the air out of his lungs and forcing him into a coughing fit.

"Who do you think you're talking to?" He growled, "Are you even aware of all the numerous sacrifices I make every day all for your education? Of all the money, time and patience I invest into you? And this is how you repay me?". His jaw trembled after every sentence, his cane pointed at Desire like an accusatory finger. "Repay me by being a selfish, ungrateful brat?"

Desire was still coughing, tears piling up on his eyelashes. He didn't have the courage to muster a word. A wave of pain sent pulsing signals to every inch of his body, his limbs feeling like pathetic, breakable sticks as he used up all of his remaining strength to prop himself up with his hand. He felt so miserable, so vulnerable and easily crushed.

"I was never a selfish brat!" Desire's jaw shaked and his lips trembled as he struggled with each scream, full of hatred. His index finger weakly pointed back at his father's cane, twitching as if he could collapse any second. "Y-you just, I-"

Before he could cough up the last sentence, his father's silver cane flashed before his eyes, and the sharp glint permanently engraved itself into his mind.

The painful, scorching feeling suddenly hit his palm and made him cry out in agony. Through tears, he watched the blood leak out of the clean cut that spread itself from his index finger to his wrist. His fingers weren't spaired either, the blunt hit from the edge of the tip bruising them and coloring them a faint purple.

His father twisted the head of the cane once again, making the small, hidden blade in the bottom of it retract. "Don't ever dare speak to me like that again. You're a disgrace, Desire." , a muted voice scowled, every word packed with disgust.

Salty tears kept soaking Desire's face as he winced through the fresh wave of pain that weakened him for the second time tonight. "I...I ... just wanted to experience what every other child did. Or at least, what most of them did", he muttered out quietly, trying not to stumble on his own words, "I... that friend. The person I met that invited me... They were like no one I met before, yet they were so... warm. I could feel the heat lighting up my cheeks whenever I was with them, making me smile on my own. If that's so wrong, why did it feel so... right?"

Sulphur crouched right next to him and exhaled, staring right into his eyes once again. The disgusted grimace on his face seemingly disappeared, at least for a brief moment.

"It's so easy to get swayed in life. Just think, Desire. The average man made his life so simple and enjoyable, to the point he prioritized his own entertainment over more important things, like power and knowledge. Why are you letting things like that obstruct your path all out of a sudden? The path that we paved for you together, that you've been following for years now?"

"I... but what about friends?"

His father slowly exhaled once again, this time speaking more calmly.

"Friends are just another thing created by the average man. Another thing that the modern society made up in order to make people's sad, meaningless lives happier. Instead, there are partners. Co-workers. A "friend" is just a pathetic excuse of a human leech, draining you of all your riches and energy for their own benefit. A friend always expects something in return, even if they don't say so. Think about it - putting so much faith into someone, opening up to them, just for them to move away from you whenever they want and carry all your insecurities, all your flaws and secrets with them and hand them over to anyone else who might be interested. Doesn't it sound bad?"

"But..."

"What do you mean by "but"? Look around for a second, and realize the truth - they manipulated you in order for you to hate me."

Desire's mind suddenly blacked out, processing the words his father whispered to him. Was it really his own conclusion? Did the hatred burn through his childhood unnoticeably, or was it an eye opener when he met them - no, was it something secretly slipped into his mind upon speaking to them? All the confusing theories mashed together into one huge mass of nonsense. Yet, when he looked back at the piercing, black eyes glaring at him expectantly, he couldn't find that gentle warmth of actual love, not even the passing signs of its existence.

"Well..."

"Desire, while growing up, did you have everything you ever needed? Food, water, clean clothes, and all of the books your heart desired?"

"I did, but-"

"Did I ever restrict one of those things as punishment? Did I ever tell you that I hated you? Did I ever say "no" to any of your requests, unless I had a valid reason to do so, which I told you?"

"Um..."

"Make up your mind, Desire."

"...No."

"Exactly."

His sharp jawline relaxed for once as he reached for his cheek and softly caressed it. A faint, sour smile appeared on his face, too, but it was everything but sincere. It was a smile of someone who was drained of all good in the world.

"I only want the best for you, son. And you know that well", he gently spoke through his teeth, "So don't let yourself get swayed with such otherworldly, hateful ideas that tear our family apart. Okay?"

"Yes, dad."

It wasn't okay. It was everything but okay. But he didn't have the power to use up yet another ounce of energy to argue back, to spit out some sad, low-level insult to reignite the argument. While slowly picking himself up from the floor, his father cleared his throat. Without turning around, he whispered: "From tommorrow on, we'll have a... different program for your everyday routine. I'll make sure that no one ever plants such worrisome and hateful thoughts ever again, alright? You can say your goodbyes to that "friend" of yours too."

It was inevitable, but yet, the last sentence stabbed itself right into Desire's heart, like a trusty assassin's dagger mercilessly piercing its victim. "Now, go to sleep. And don't let such things play with your mind and common sense", his father said, closing the door behind him, "You have immense potential, Desire. Make both me and your mother proud. It would break her heart to see you get ruined by something so... primitive."

Throwing himself onto his bed, the blue-eyed boy felt the pain wrap around his body for one last time before falling to sleep. He was defeated and shut up once again, for the millionth time. Trying to desperately grasp for the smile that previously spun itself in his mind like a pop song vinyl, a pearly tear drenched his silk pillowcase. Would he ever see them again? He weakly gripped his bedsheets to feel warmth, to simply hold onto something - but the cold fabric could only gently soak up his sobs and whimpers. Once again, he was just a little helpless boy, whose cries could only be witnessed by his cold, dark room.

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