#I have a job interview and I have never been so stressed. idk where to park or where the employee entrance is

[meerey]

.

#I have a job interview and I have never been so stressed. idk where to park or where the employee entrance is #the place is so big #the job seems basic asf idk why im sweating it

[imanes]

hi imane! i hope ur doing well <3 i just wanted to ask: what do you do during times of uncertainty? im a uni student abt to go on placement and I've been applying for part-time jobs that's centred around my field but to no avail sadly :/ i wanted to save up at least so i wouldn't stress during placement and everything's so overwhelming.. there are other external factors that's making me feel this way too like a friendship break-up i had few months ago and its affected me quite badly but im starting to pick myself up again. anyways sorry for the rant and i hope ur day is lovely x

hey! just sat down after hours of procrastination to work on my dissertation and i wish i were done already akjdkfgj but it could be worse!! ok it's gonna be long and probs unhelpful but i know that you wanted to vent more than you thought i was holding some solution so I'll just ramble and hope something resonates with you lmao <3

for me uncertainty makes me feel like my life is in shambles, it's hard to cope with things going south and not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel but during my yearly flop era in march/april i had a talk with a friend who's much older, wiser, and more experimented, and basically it helped me put things into perspective and learn how to let go. there are only so many things that you can control so i split my different issues into different categories for a more systemic approach to my problems lol: things that i can actually somewhat control (my emotions, my reactions, my efforts, what i can do moving forward to alleviate some of my stress), things that are out of my control (how people misconstrue me, external stressors like shitty coworkers, refusals from jobs i was applying for) and things (and people) that i don't need in my life. learning to let go of things for me internationally infamous control freak was not easy but it was liberating, idk if you're religious so if you aren't the next part isn't going to be helpful lol but i don't think i should be chasing things because i am exactly where i am meant to be, and if i start clutching at the things that aren't meant to be in my life, it's just my ego getting in the way, and i prayed that Allah just lets me find the place that i would fit better in and that He'd take me away from it if i wasn't going to be doing or feeling good there. i guess the non-religious version would just be to trust the process and understand that things in life wax and wane, whether it be job opportunities or relationships. obviously there's like a plethora of other factors like what do i do if i can't pay the bills and stuff? that was how i was thinking just a couple of months ago when my dissertation was not writing itself and nobody was hiring me! but a few weeks have passed and looking back on it i was starting to chase things again and it made me feel like i was stuck in a rut when in fact it's normal for things to take some time to settle down and for opportunities to arrive.

so basically whether you stress about it or not, literally nothing is going to change except the way you frame it in your head. for me i just continued applying and gave interviews my all while also being detached enough to simply trust myself to find the space that i was meant to occupy eventually, and after many many many rejections i finally found something a week ago, but it took a couple of months of steady job application to get there. looking from the other side of the mirror it's easy to say things like "don't get discouraged!" but it is true that if you keep throwing shit at a wall something's going to eventually stick, hence the power of consistency and of never giving up.

i'm glad you're slowly building yourself back up after your friendship break-up, i know how much it can drag you down but again some people are meant to be with you for a season only and at the end of the day with the effect of time making things more bearable and by working on your self-esteem and knowing that you can do things that you set your mind to, whether it is finding a part-time job or picking yourself back up, in a few weeks you're gonna look back on where you were mentally at when you sent me this message and where you'll be then and you'll thing "well i guess things DO pass huh who would've thought!!" lol life is a cycle of stability and unsteadiness, doesn't matter how much you prepare something's always going to go sideways but another truth is that things fall back into place again and you have to have faith in that, in yourself, and maybe in something else like i am w/ my relation to religion if u need extra help. speaking of help if you have a support system, confide in them and let them carry some of that weight for you!! you'd do the same for them so don't feel like you're a burden for needing help when you are facing instability. wishing you the best of luck and i really hope you find a good part-time job before your placement babe

[guardian-angle22]

Much as I would love to see a Muslim/hijabi woman on tv. Most likely wouldn't want to be on tv since it goes against their beliefs. I'm ok with Natacha in this role bc I love her and I appreciate what LS has done with showing respect as the show has continued

[response to my post here]

First off, thank you for the insight/feedback on the accuracy, and the prayer part in particular! I had thought the location she was praying in was inaccurate but that wasn’t something I saw mentioned a lot at the time of the initial backlash to that scene. So I appreciate the information. 💜

I definitely head canon that when Owen rebuilt the firehouse (for the 2nd time!) he made sure there was a dedicated quiet room. Not only would it be important to have for Marjan or anyone else that works at the firehouse with them of Muslim faith to pray in, but also they have stressful and emotional jobs! Having a dedicated safe space at the firehouse to go when you need that kind of quiet privacy just makes sense to me.

As far as the casting part first: I think Natacha has done a great job and I appreciate the fact that she spoke up to the showrunners after hearing feedback from Muslim viewers. and from what I heard of her talking at the most recent convention, she has some great ideas of exploring various intersectionality that is found within that religion and I think that’s great and really hope they do explore some of those things.

My desire for an actual hijabi woman to have been chosen for this part was mainly based off experiences I witnessed from a previous fandom, Skam. IDK if you ever watched it, but the 4th season focused on a Muslim girl in high school, Sana, played by an actress who was actually Muslim, Iman Meskini, who was fantastic. The show writer/creator/producer relied a lot on her knowledge and lived experience when filming things. Then the Skam remakes happened… and another iteration of the show did not bother to get an actual Muslim to play that character and I remember very vividly the negative experiences a lot of the Muslim people in fandom had based off choices that were made and how that character was portrayed. Iman herself spoke up about how much better it was to have someone with the lived experience, who knew what it was like, acting in a role like that. I love this quote from her too: "I never dreamt about being an actress, because I never saw an actress with hijab on. I didn’t even see it as an option or a possibility at all until I became that example that it is possible."

I definitely can appreciate and understand how nuanced the discussion of actors playing parts that aren’t their own experience truly is though. I think the wars that are waged online about actors who play queer parts especially is a big thing happening in culture right now and I truly understand a lot of varying sides to those kinds of discussions. I know it might not always be possible for own voices actors to play parts like this, but I just feel like the best case scenario in a role like Marjan would have been for it to be played by a hijabi woman. That doesn’t mean I think Natacha is in the wrong for taking the role or that it was a terrible mistake for her to have been cast. Just that there was a better scenario that I had hoped for, that didn’t end up happening. and that's okay.

Now the corn silo story: That interview with Natacha where she said there were things that got cut from that storyline makes me really sad because I wish we could have gotten a better resolution to it. Maybe it would have been exactly what you're mentioning here too - clarifying for the viewers that not everyone in the mosque felt that way and it was just pettiness amongst some of them. Sadly, I guess we'll never know exactly what that would have looked like. It makes me a little sad that the only time we've even seen the mosque she goes to was in that episode in season one. I really really hope we get a chance to see some more storylines for Marjan that can include her faith and her mosque but more of how they're positively impacting her life instead.

(I don't have any relevant Marjan reaction gifs since I mainly use my fave Paul, so have this gif of her being absolutely adorable instead)

#anon answered #long post #this reply got very wordy I am so sorry anon lmao #also hope you don't mind that I lumped your two asks together #thank you for sharing with me 💜

[01tsubomi]

hi!! if you dont mind me asking, how did you manage to end up teaching in japan?? ive been researching but info online is so extense and overwhelming and i never have good answers....

hello!! first of all i wanna say i understand the stress - i applied to j/et first and was going to work on backups like int/erac and private hiring if that didn't work out and i'm always thankful that i didn't have to. honestly now that i'm here it feels funny that i stressed out so much during the application process bc i always find myself thinking "damn they'll let anyone in" (often about myself lmao). it can be really odd and unexplainable who j/et does and doesn't take but japan needs a lot of ALTs to keep the system going so if you've got the enthusiasm for it there's definitely a place for you!!

i would definitely recommend trying for j/et and int/erac first before worrying about the other options!! since j/et has the biggest reputation ofc there's the double-edged sword of it feeling the most prestigious and hard to get into but again they do hire a ton of candidates every year, plus it has the highest guaranteed pay and takes care of so much for you pre-departure. idk where you're at in life/when you'd plan on applying but if you wanna start the job as soon as possible, int/erac has pretty much a rolling application and their main recruiting cycle is for spring departures (while j/et won't start recruiting again til october, for departure in summer 2025). int/erac gives you a little less pay and a little less initial help, but it's still very reputable. int/erac ALTs also have a few more freedoms once you're in japan bc i believe int/erac has your school hire you directly intead of employing you to your city's board of education. so for example my BoO doesn't let ALTs commute by car, but int/erac ALTs and private hires don't have that restriction. knock on wood, if neither of those work out, there are lots of sites like gaijinpot posting private hire opportunities. i don't know about the competitiveness of those and they do often require you to sort out visa application or housing on your own, but opportunity is always out there! seriously though i wouldn't worry about that at first. that's the backup plan ace up your sleeve

in terms of what you can do to raise your chances of getting hired, again, i think the enthusiasm is the key!! people say the j/et interview is a glorified vibe check bc they've been known to reject people who sometimes seem overqualified for the position (maybe for good reason - the amount of responsibility you get and teaching you get to do is suuuuper variable and dependent on your school, and probably about ~1/3 of my work days every year i have no classes and little relevant work to do, if any). i don't have a background or certification in teaching but i did a lot of tutoring in college and minored in japanese so i had a lot to say about my passion for language education. i know j/et really loves the angle of "what will you get out of the position, and what will you give back" - i can tell you're excited about the idea of teaching in japan so i'm sure you already have your answers!! if you have hobbies related to japan it's good to explain how being in japan would help you continue them. or you can always research what you could do with your non-japan related hobbies in japan! i love cooking and i started taking classes at a chain studio that does a mix of japanese and worldwide cooking. again i know the hit-or-miss element of it is scary but really they just want friendly open-minded people who can share their culture, have enthusiasm about education and exchange, don't mind the hours/job restrictions, and are down to pack their bags and live in japan. if you have any other questions please ask!! i know this is random but i've helped a couple of friends with their applications so if you do want some extra eyes on a statement of purpose my inbox is always open!! cheering for you!! 🎉🎉

#seriously i got. so so stressed out during the whole application process. and nothing any of my friends could say abt how i #seemed perfectly qualified could help #i really do understand the position you're in #but seriously the job is so much lower stakes than i thought intiially and a lot of the reason i say that is because of how little #responsibility i get #i love my school and my teachers are really receptive to my ideas #but basically once you're here all the meaning's gotta come from you #the dreaded Every Situation Is Different applies ofc #but at my school i don't get directly asked for activities much and get told i don't have to come to class pretty often #so if i'm not taking the initiative and making stuff myself or going to talk to the students myself it can be very easy to just coast #which i think a lot of people do. which i can't blame anyone for because 1) i know people who are physically in the classroom less than #8 hours a week #disregarding if they're given an active role in those lessons or if they're just asked to read vocab #and 2) i also don't use all of my downtime on work-related tasks and i honestly find it hard to imagine how i could #i'm just getting into my thoughts about my job now which is something i could talk about for hours and hours #trust me i do really love being here and i actually like that i have to challenge myself to speak up and carve out my place #i'll cut myself off there because i have too many thoughts #but genuinely good luck!! you can do it!! #asks

[axolautie]

i’m autistic, and haven’t worked in about a year bc of an autistic burnout. also bc it’s incredibly difficult to find a job in our current economy for some reason.

there is this cute af bookstore near me that i’ve been to a few times. i fell in love with the visual aesthetics of the place. and since it’s a little small business bookstore, i figured it could be a great job for me to make some money without all the stress of a career job.

so i went in yesterday to visit them and i fully expected to have a tiny interview on the spot when i would ask them if they were hiring. but for some reason, i walked in an was immediately shy.

being shy is ofc normal for me. is it bc i’m autistic? maybe. but anyways, i gave myself some time to mentally prepare by looking around the store and i just kept getting a weird intuition feeling that they may be racist.

idk what sparked it really. i’ve been there before and never had any particular encounters. maybe just this specific time, i noticed later on that i wasn’t greeted when i came in. and it seemed that there was a family working together.

i do remember my first assumption being something along the lines of “oh i can’t intrude, it’s a family business” so it wasn’t initially a race thing but as i lingered, my mind wouldn’t wander from that.

i worked my way back to the front of the store where i saw the “mom” sat behind the register. as i was preparing to say something, i looked up and noticed 2 books that had swastikas on them.

now i know it’s a bookstore and they’re going to advertise books that they want to sell blah blah blah. but having something like that, with a caricature of hitler on each swastika just blatantly behind the register?? i think that’s saying something. i immediately shut myself off from the idea of working there so i didn’t even approach them. for my own safety. and i know i shouldn’t feel bad for someone else’s actions or beliefs but i was literally so shaken.

after i left the shop, i did feel as though i was being watched by them and it was so creepy.

also, i feel like i’m mourning the loss of that job opportunity. like ofc, my family is saying don’t worry about it, that i will find another opportunity elsewhere. but my autistic brain fantasized about it and i can’t seem to let it go. i’m upset. and i feel like i’ve begun to spiral into a depression today.

i just feel like i can’t get a job for the life of me and every time i try, something comes up to wreck those plans. 😭

anyways, i’m going to try to sleep or watch tv or something. my brain is so fried today.

#actually autistic #autism #working as an autistic person #nazis in 2023 #depression spiral #feb 23 #2023

[monstersofsilence]

I am

a semi religious person

idk

I never was into religion considering I am related to a catholic family

but I semi believe it

part of me want to and another is like idk

I am at a point where I just

like if there is any god or deity up there to just

help me

or just point me in the right direction

finding a job has been

I fucking hate it

I want to scream. I want to cry. I want to just

I had 3 chances. I've been to 3 interviews and I got turned down by three of them

I have applied to so many places and I either get the same "fuck you" email or nothing at all

and the 3 ai have applied to so many times and

being turned hurts worse

I just want something

anything good to happen. I don't ask for much and all I want is for just

to get a job so I don't feel stressed anymore. so I don,'t feel useless

[artificial-horizon]

assorted post-atc test day ramblings and blogging ahead (sorry idk how to do a readmore lol)

The past few days have been so unforgettable I haven't been able to stop thinking about it all... I literally feel reborn, like a totally new person starting a totally new chapter of life! I haven't felt this happy in a long time, that sort of happiness that's mixed with so many other intense emotions and makes your head spin a little (my favourite). I mean the day of testing was absolutely brutal, like nothing I've ever experienced before, but honestly it was so invigorating - and definitely very motivating after passing everything lol. I'd been having some serious doubts about whether I could do it, feeling like my weird brain would sabotage me and prove that I wasn't cut out for the only dream job I've ever had, so yeah lmao I did quite enjoy the ego massage of doing really well and not even finding the tests super difficult.

Outside of the testing there was so much that was just... intoxicating in the best way. Travelling solo for one, cos I think that's one of the greatest things on earth, but really it was the people that I met that just filled me with such a feeling of, well, I guess love? As an aromantic I struggle with the idea of love, but personally this is my equivalent; a love of humanity and human connection and sharing the same experiences while coming from such different backgrounds. It's probably inevitable that you'll bond if you're thrown into a room together to do ridiculously intense assessments all day, but genuinely I've never felt so excited and chill and myself around literal strangers like I did this week. There's always so much hiding when you're queer/trans/brown/ND in majority cishet/white/NT spaces, but there was something about being around other people with the same weird niche interest that was fucking liberating.

I mean, this was the first time I've ever met other people (especially other people of my own age!) who are also nerdy about not just aviation, but air traffic control specifically - like, in day-to-day life you talk about this stuff and most people are like "ummm okay u do u", but holy shit... to be able to infodump to people who are also interested in the very same thing and ACTUALLY WANT a conversation about it is incredible! (Which yeah, is sort of sad when you think about it cos what a low bar, but society is just anti-autistic like that ig.) We just *got* each other on that level, and makes me hunger even more than I already did to be in this world because this really fucking proves to me that this is where I belong tbh.

There's also something so electrifying to me about random brief connections like this, when you know you'll probably never see them again (aside from the other people who got into the next stage of interviewing, ily cya in a few months!). Definitely not the first person to say this, but there really is a level of honesty and openness that this kind of experience creates that is legitimately beautiful to me. We spent hours partying together and sharing so much conversation, no small talk in sight, just learning about each other. The next day I was hopping from city to city with this one guy as we tried to navigate our way to the airport (there was a storm that had shut down almost all transport) and even that, although stressful, was a fucking adventure and I really sort of loved it and we got pretty deep into some fascinating chats. And like I literally asked some random people if I could take the last seat in their Uber cos I overheard they were going to the airport too, and that is not something I EVER thought I could do as someone who's often too scared to approach people in public lol.

Depression has been telling me for the past year that I'm not capable of shit, so this was the biggest and best fuck you to that because oh my god I actually CAN!!!! I can do shit!!!! It may not all seem like much to others, but I'm actually proud of myself and am seriously riding on this high rn. I'm treating this as a new lease on life and I'm gonna keep this energy going as much as I can, because my future is seeming more and more like a thing that will actually happen. I just like... ugh I love all the people I met so much in a way that would probably sound weird if I told them, cos it's not really "love" but just absolute awe at the whole experience and how amazing people can be. Intoxicating honestly is the best word I can use to describe it.

Also literally the first person who said hi to me on the test day was a fellow gay lol, I guess the gaydars of aspiring ATCOs are just that good ;) Anyway onwards and fucking upwards, next stop is the interview and then...? The thought of it is too much I can't even write it down lkjdfsdajkfljkdkjdlkj

#do i have a tag for my own writing/posts idk #i think i need an atc tag on my blog tho for all this nerdiness so #atc #oh and also what i said about being myself n feeling accepted applies to allllllll my avgeek mutuals on here <3 #genuinely appreciate you so much #such a friendly welcoming corner of tumblr that makes me smile every time i log on hehe

[petersthree]

I saw ur tags and my dude I’m about to go to college for forensic science!!! Exciting!!! Do you have any survival tips?

AAAAH that’s awesome! Idk if you’re going in for undergrad or your masters so I kind of did a mishmosh of both lol. Also no idea where your region is and this is specific to my program etc etc etc

Don’t be afraid to ask questions! These classes can be incredibly hard and you’re not going to be an expert at everything - and that’s fine!

Your classmates are a great resource. If you have a question one of them either has the same one or has the answer lol. I leaned on my classmates hard to get through analytical spectroscopy this year and I’m just a strong supporter of study groups in general (as long as they’re not too big).

Mass spec is love mass spec is life. Know that shit inside and out, especially if you want to do forensic chemistry lol. MS has come up in so many of my courses in this program and so many scientists have stressed its importance in these labs.

On the above note, a lot of my professors have stressed if you want to get into DNA, to know how to properly do dilutions. Certain places will have you do that in the job interview and it’s important to know!

Network lol. It's important; don't burn bridges and try your best at it - you never know where an opportunity is going to come up! Also, if it's feasible in your area, try to find an internship. And plan it early (don't be like me, who procrastinated wayyyyyy too much on finding one) - if you want to do an internship in the summer, for example, some of these places will close their applications by December-March, so you should plan ahead for your own peace of mind asdjfkl.

Stuff more centered towards the future/the actual profession, as per my professors:

Something I’ve heard A Lot from other forensic scientists is that even if you have a specific avenue in mind (like analyst, firearms expert, crim, toxicologist, etc etc etc) it’s okay to deviate from it or to start somewhere else - we’re a really small field and what you want may not be available, so get your foot in the door wherever you can.

Your program counts as experience, something I and other classmates did not know until our advisor told us. A lot of places have "2+ years experience in forensic science" or something like that listed, and that can fully be your schooling lol. I have classmates that were hired while still in our program because they qualified after a year.

Keep in mind that government jobs have a long vetting process - to be a forensic scientist at the NYPD, for example, is a yearlong process and is extremely invasive, and outside of that, other jobs (and internships!) may take up to 6 months to a year to run some checks. If you want to work these jobs, just remember the timespan. Basically don't quit your day job while you do that asdfjkl.

Something I want more practice with personally - almost every class I've been in has said we will testify in court at some point in our career! Again, I don't know where your area is and if it'll be any more or less likely for you, but I think practice in testifying is a great thing to do. Know your cases, be sure to address the jury when asked questions, respond as accurately as possible, etc.

Sorry if these weren't really useful to you, and good luck in your program (and if you ever have questions feel free to message or PM me!). This field is so interesting and there's so many different avenues you can take with forensics; I hope you have a great time with it! <3

#janie gets asks #anon

[abcdosaka]

Didn’t start looking for a job yet. Maybe tomorrow? I’ve been feeling so worried what people will think of me and just anxiety abt my parents bc honestly I’m so transactional in my relationship with them. I don’t know why. Have they taught me that? Idk where else it could’ve came from tbh even as a kid I remember being like “how abt we all just do our own chores/make our own tea/wash our own dishes” and my mom was like no you’re so selfish. like was that her manifesting this into me or did she spoil me too much as she said she did or what even caused that. Anyway point is I hate depending on them bc I feel like I owe them so much and I hate that.

Honestly had some thought abt romantic relationships. Can I just say I’m asexual and go. I don’t think I am is the thing but im genuinely afraid of connecting with people closely now. Even just a close friendship seems so unknowable to me lol. S actually kinda traumatized me. Idk if I’d say traumatize rly but what other word….had a significant effect on me. There you go that’s how you extend a sentence if you wanna meet the word count. But yeah and romantic relationships just seem so much more intense than friendships idk I just feel like I’m not strong enough for one like idk if I could be there for someone romantically and I’m so afraid of letting people down

Back to jobs. Idk if I’m qualified. I am I know I am but I’m just so scared of applying even though I’ve done it like hundreds of times at this point and had like 30 interviews. It’s always scary not knowing what you’re doing or where you’re life is going. Ik it’s not that hard but also I’m scared there won’t be that many listings I actually want or the pay will be shit or it’ll be a shit workplace. But idk I’ve faced all that before.

My parents rly do spoil me bc another thing is like they take care of me. I don’t have to cook I just have to contribute around the house a bit but even if I don’t they still care for me. I rlly need to step it up

The past two weeks were like my vacation I guess. I just don’t want it to end. I like doing nothing. But at the same time I hate it. It’s like I feel fine but there’s def something under the surface that just very sad and fearful and frustrated and stressed. If I could move out maybe I’d get motivation but it’s stupid to move out without a job. And I’m terrified of getting my license which I absolutely need to do at this point like it’s ridiculous how much time it has taken me and I’m embarrassed that I haven’t but every instructor I’ve had just made me hate it even though I’m like not even that bad at driving. I’m just worried abt parking bc no matter how much I practice I never seem to get it right

[ouroboobos]

being depressing and longwinded again irls scroll away please tyyyyyy

another shitty evil thing abt mental illness is unless youre unusually privileged you cant really do anything to keep it from fucking up every single aspect of your life and making it practically impossible to live comfortably. and if youre like me and youre from a low income background you probably want some relief from all the stress and exhaustion that comes with not having enough money. i want a financially secure lifestyle, i want to splurge and go on vacations and eat whatever i want and own a home and not be below the poverty line for the rest of my life because its fucking miserable. but i cant do anything to escape it lmfao!!

im terrible at school and cant afford it anyway so idk if ill ever be able to go to college. i cant handle stress or uncomfortable lighting or noise or crowds or excessive human contact or total isolation or fast paced work or strict routines or nonspecific routines or average work hours or understanding and following instructions or interviews or emails or phone calls or video calls. i cant even drive yet because it's such a severe stressor and it requires me to pay attention to too many things at once.

so like what the fuck am i supposed to do lmfao. even if i landed a job, with my limitations it would definitely not pay well. and getting a job is hard enough, but keeping one is a whole other thing. at my best i can accomplish a few small daily tasks around the house. i can go see a friend once or twice a week. i can do some moderate exercise and i keep up with my hygeine pretty well. i'm still tired and agitated and living feels hard but all around things are pretty good.

but i also have periods where my symptoms prevent me from functioning at all. i dont sleep for says at a time because im so hypervigilant, my nightmares are worse, or i do nothing but lay in bed all day, i dont eat, i cant think, i cant remember anything, i struggle to speak, i cant change my clothes, i can't shower, i feel phantom hands, i forget my age and where i am, i make plans to kill myself, i have violent urges, i can't be touched or spoken to or even handle people being in the same area as me. it's not a matter of "if", its a matter of "when" because thats just the reality of my symptoms. it'll happen again inevitably, and then i wont have a fucking job at all.

i've been told in the past that i may qualify for disability but even if that's true i would need to stay below a certain income level to keep my benefits. so basically im going to struggle financially for the rest of my life on top of trying to survive with my symptoms and it will literally never end. lol

[frogtanii]

embarrassed ft. matsukawa issei

wc. 2.7k (???)

warnings. SMUT, not proofread lol, mutual pining (??), friends to lovers (???), cunnilingus lmao, no dom/sub dynamics, well actually dom&sub issei if you squint rlly hard hehe, kinda cute, embarrassed issei <3, also one (1) WAP reference

an. it’s 2:30 am and i have no idea why i wrote this and who for???? i got the idea from a 🦋😳🙈✨ audio and was immediately inspired idk, sorry if it’s bad i lichrally have no idea since i didn’t read it after it was done :p

( ˘ ³˘)♥︎

it wasn’t like matsukawa issei to be embarrassed.

he was handsome, intelligent, and funny, not to mention he never left women wanting after a night with him.

issei was the entire package and he knew it.

beyond superficiality though, he was happy with his life. he had a great group of friends, a nice apartment all to himself and a completely normal job.

yes, being a funeral home employee wasn’t the most glamorous career a person could have but he was happy. besides, it never deterred him from getting a warm body to sleep with which was a win in his book.

all in all? his life was great!

so why did he have to go and screw it all up?

issei blames makki and the dumb flyer for the reason his life went to shit. (maybe he’s being a little dramatic, but let him have his oikawa moment.)

he was minding his own business when his best friend (recently turned enemy) burst through his apartment door with a piece of paper in his hand and a fire in his eyes.

“dude, look at this!” issei rolled his eyes, putting down his casket catalogue and turning to meet takahiro’s gaze.

“why hello to you too. remind me why i gave you a key again?”

“because you love me and because i bring shit like this to you. look!” with another long and suspiciously tooru-like sigh, issei took the crumpled paper from makki and immediately stopped in his tracks.

“makki... what the fuck is this?”

written in large pink letters and a flowery, borderline illegible font was the name, coffee and cunnilingus. upon further inspection and careful reading, it revealed itself to be a little cafe opening up about 10 minutes from issei’s apartment complex who were looking to hire “young, attractive men who are proficient at eating pussy.”

issei could feel his eyes narrow and his mouth drop open in shock as he repeated his question. “the fuck is this?”

makki shook his head excitedly, tapping to another portion of the flyer that matsukawa had not yet read. “no, no dude, just look at how much they’re paying per hour.” issei begrudgingly obliged but the minute his eyes touched the (Massive™) number, he felt a little faint.

it was a lot of money. more than the funeral home was paying, that’s for sure. with that kind of money he could move out of this suddenly dingy seeming apartment and into a nice flat in the city were he’d always wanted to live. maybe he could buy himself a nice watch or even a high-end suit to replace the one from his highschool graduation (aka the only suit he owns). with that kind of money, he could erase his student debt 3 years ahead of schedule and get his mom into a nicer place.

it was these thoughts that clouded issei’s head as he found himself standing in front of a cute looking building, matching the address on the flyer. i’ll only be working part time, he thought as he pushed the door open to reveal an equally impressing interior with curtained booths and a wide variety of coffee on the menu. i’m only doing it for extra money, he thought as he shook the owner’s hand after he finished his successful interview. no one can ever know, he thought as he dressed himself in the uniform on his first day.

thus began issei’s super secret side hustle where he ate women out for cash.

sounds worse when you say it outright but it was just working. he was good at it, the women liked him, and he was making BANK. still, there were challenges. some women refused to bathe before coming and he would have to send them to the restroom to freshen up which absolutely ruined his chances for a good tip. some women would become heavily infatuated with him, believing that they were in some sort of forbidden romance. he learned to turn them down quick and easy to avoid conflict in the workplace which furthered his space as a boss favorite. but his hardest challenge by far was meeting you.

you were one of hanamaki’s friends, having met him at one of his brief stints in retail on his search for a job. he had gotten fired but you both stayed in touch after he left, becoming really close, really fast.

issei had met you first when takahiro had invited you to the biweekly seijoh third-years movie night. at first, he had been pissed as an “outsider” had never been invited before and he was worried you’d ruin the vibe, especially since it was the first time in months that oikawa would be able to join them. makki vouched for you through and through and the other boys were okay with it so you were in. the second he met you, all his fears of awkwardness and discomfort faded away.

you were great.

you were hilarious, pretty, and could keep up with makki’s harsh jokes, tooru’s diva attitude, iwa’s tendency to hit (hard), and issei’s original disdain. by the end of the night, he had completely forgotten why he didn’t want you there in the first place.

from then on, you were a staple in their little friend group. you were added to the groupchat where you balanced memes with spouts of deep wisdom and you were ever so reliable, always there if any of them needed it.

yeah, you were great. that’s where the problems started.

issei’s feelings for you quickly went from platonic to romantic, faster than you can say godzilla. he hadn’t even recognized that he was falling for you until it was way too late. normally, he wouldn’t have a problem confessing to you but because of his newly found ...occupation, he was too nervous. how would you take it that he was basically a glorified prostitute? ok, that wasn’t exactly what he did but still! you’d probably find him disgusting and horrible and leave the friend group forever. then he’d have to deal with oikawa’s senseless whining and makki’s subtle digs, blaming him for your departure. yeah, he wasn’t going to put himself through that so he decided to keep his mouth shut.

too bad he didn’t have any control over makki’s.

you and takahiro had been on a little friend-date at mcdonald’s after you’d had a long and frustrating shift. you just wanted to vent, expressing your general hate for your job and desperate need for stress relief.

that’s when makki opened his (big, stupid) mouth and suggested that you visit a little place called coffee and cunnilingus. you nearly choked on your fries at the title before quickly pressing him for details. thankfully, he had the decency not to expose that issei worked there but he had not done a good enough job convincing you not to go there. not that it would’ve mattered. your curiosity was peaked and your libido was high so why not try out the weird cafe where you let a complete stranger stick his tongue inside you?

it was settled. you were going to go and you were going to get eaten out and you were going to like it!

or at least that is what you repeated in your head as you walked to the address on your phone before taking a deep breath and walking inside.

“hello, welcome to coffee and cunnilingus, how might i pleasure you this afterno— yn?” issei’s eyes widened as they met your equally bewildered ones, the both of you staring at each other in shock.

“matsukawa-san, is everything alright?” a large hand rested on issei’s shoulder, startling him out of his thoughts and forcing him to break (horrified) eye contact with you and move it onto his boss who was now looking down on him menacingly.

“y-yes sir, everything is fine!” he squeaked out, hating the way his voice cracked on his first syllable. his boss looked at him suspiciously but thankfully didn’t press.

“well, since nothing is wrong, take this beautiful young woman to a booth where you will assist her!” the hand resting on issei’s shoulder slowly squeezed, making him wince in pain. the pain was only an afterthought though to the larger implication of his boss’ words. he’s going to assist you. assist as in pleasure. pleasure as in eat you out.

holy shit, you were going to pass out.

apparently, issei had the same thought process as you, his face whitening like a sheet. “m-me? but sir i-“

“do your job matsukawa-san!” his boss cut him off with a forced smile. all issei could do was nod and silently lead you off to a closed booth near the back or lose his job. you stayed close behind him but remained quiet, absolutely terrified of breaking the silence and ruining the bubble you had created.

you finally reached the booth in question. issei gently opened the curtain and motioned for you to get it, to which you obliged and he followed just behind.

the moment the curtain closed, you were enveloped in an awkward silence and tense atmosphere, neither of you speaking or looking at one another for fear of one of you running out. after what felt like hours, you opened your mouth to speak, not realizing issei had thought the same thing.

“so-“

“i-“

you finally made eye contact with him and burst into the laughter, the tension quickly broken. it took a full minute or two for the both of you to calm down, the absurdity of the entire situation finally catching up with you.

“you first,” issei said, wiping tears from the corners of his eyes while fixing you with an intense gaze swirled with an emotion you couldn’t quite place but it made butterflies bubble up in your stomach. you quickly turned your gaze to the comfortable seat beneath you, your fingers playing with the red stitching while you thought of what you had wanted to say.

“are you any good?” your hand flew up to cover your mouth as your cheeks filled with heat, the embarrassment of your words catching up to you. you hadn’t meant to say that but when you opened your mouth to apologize, you were stopped in your tracks by the lovely sound of issei’s full-bodied laughter filling the tiny booth.

you had heard it just moments earlier but without the sound of your own giggles drowning it out, you couldn’t help but think that he sounded beautiful. you basked in the sound as it slowly trailed off back into silence. now it was you doing the staring making issei look off with a red face and a heart threatening to pound out of his chest.

“y-yeah i’m pretty good. you want to try? me, i mean?” his words nearly leave you gasping, your brain working overtime to try and comprehend what he was saying to you.

“only if y-you want to? what do you want issei?” you whispered, suddenly unable to find your voice. you wanted this to be okay for him too; you didn’t want him to be uncomfortable even though you wanted him more than you could verbally express. despite the embarrassment and fear of rejection lingering under your skin, you stared at him, awaiting his answer. a tiny minuscule nod came from him and you internally shook your head. you needed to hear him.

“i need you to say it, issei.” your words, while quiet, were firm and issei felt himself hardening in his uniform slacks. he swallowed in his increasingly drying mouth before opening his mouth to respond.

“i want to eat your pussy. can i?”

shit.

your own voice was stolen by his words and all you could give him was a nod before he was on you.

issei didn’t waste any time falling to his knees, pulling your panties down, and hiking your skirt up to your stomach, revealing your glistening folds to his hungering eyes.

“fuck, you’re so wet,” is all the warning you get before he’s licking a long stripe up you from entrance to clit before he’s sucking the hard, sensitive nub into his mouth. your eyes immediately rolled back into your head, your hips instinctively bucking up into his mouth while a gasped moan of issei left your lips.

if he could bottle your moans and use them whenever he pleased, he would, the sound sending another pulse of arousal to his already hard cock. he was tempted to reach down and pull himself out of his trousers but he denied himself. this was about you; you and your wet ass pussy.

issei continued his ministrations on your clit, circling it with his tongue before pulling it into his mouth while his hand was ready to get busy. it crept up your thigh, sending shivers down your spine until it reached your sopping entrance, two of his fingers teasing the slit before delving in to the third knuckle.

the moan you let out is borderline animalistic as your body sends another wave of slick pulsing out over his hand. he groaned into your cunt at your tightness, his mind only imagining him deep within you while you squeeze him for all he’s got.

the amount of slick you produced made it easy for him to add a third finger, thrusting them in and out while also crooking them upwards in search for your special spot that would have you seeing stars. it took him a little prodding but he knew he found it when your back arched, your hand came down into his hair, and you whimpered out a string of curses.

“that’s it baby, cmon, you’re doing so well, wanna see you come apart for me,” he all but growled against your clit before delving back in with a higher intensity, his desperation for you to come winning out his desire to tease you and drag this out as long as possible.

with his incessant pressure on your g-spot and his lips suctioned around your clit, it wasn’t long before he got what he wanted.

“isseiisseiisseiissei, i’m coming, i’m coming-oh fuck!” you screamed as you clenched and gushed all over his fingers, your entire body caving in with the intensity of your orgasm. his fingers were practically forced from your spasming cunt but they quickly found a place rubbing your nub side to side as fast as possible. the overwhelming urge to pee came over you and you shook your head, trying to push his hand away.

“no, no, give it to me, i know you can,” issei groaned, his eyes locked on your dripping pussy. the pleasure he was giving came to a head at his words and you felt a clear liquid escape from your tired, overstimulated cunt, your mouth opening in a silent moan before collapsing back on the seat.

the sight proved to be too much for issei as he felt his body tense, his own orgasm washing over him as he emptied himself into his boxers. he fell back onto the ground, in shock of himself coming entirely untouched. he’d never done it before but of course it was you that would bring it out of him. a smile spread across his face at the thought, his head tilting back as he laughed, catching the attention of your worn body.

“what’re y’laughing at?” you slurred, cringing a little at how fucked out you sounded but issei didn’t seem to mind, his face glowing while covered in your slick and cum.

“nothing, nothing, but uh, i have a question.” you felt your heart leap to your chest, your mind already racing with the possibilities. he’s going to say this was a mistake, that we’re just better off as friends. oh god, what if he says i stunk? or the worst pussy he’s ever had? or what if—

“want to go and get a coffee?” he asked, the smile still plastered on his face but with an uncharacteristic hint of shyness. the butterflies were back in your stomach as you shyly nodded before allowing him to help clean you up and standing, not missing how he slipped your lacy underwear deep into one of his pockets.

issei’s hand found its way into yours as he said goodbye to his coworkers and boss before leading you out of the cafe, watching you tell an animated retelling of the bullshit that occurred at your job with a warm grin on his face and pink cheeks.

it might not be like matsukawa issei to be embarrassed but if it resulted in getting you by his side? he would do it again and again.

#and i did this for what???? #watch me complain about being nauseous tomorrow from staying up too late 😤🙈 #writing this: 😀😗✨ #reading it back: 😩💦🥴🙈 #ok lemme shut up #haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu smut #hq smut #haikyuu x reader smut #hq x reader smut #matsukawa x y/n #matsukawa issei #hq matsukawa #haikyuu matsukawa #matsukawa smut #mattsun issei #issei smut #matsukawa x reader #matsukawa x you #matsukawa angst #matsukawa scenarios #matsukawa issei x you #hanamaki takahiro #hanamaki x reader #hanamaki smut #hanamaki fluff #SEIJOH SUPREMACY <3<3

[nanastea]

guilt

order: one small taro milk tea with mango jelly for fushiguro megumi. the imagine is megumi overthinking and blaming himself while reader tries to calm him and reassure him after a mission, where reader almost d!ed. — anon

pairing: fushiguro megumi x gn!reader word count: 2,198 tags: 3(?) bad words, mention of de*th + bl**d + vi*lence, angsty, comfort, megumi feeling guilty and sad :( you comfort him, lmk if i missed anything!

nana’s note: i’m sorry for being so inactive (/^\ ) i hate coming up with the same constant excuses but i really have no excuse here other than i had group orders to do and it was super stressful preparing for a two job interviews. i promise i will get to all of the orders this week! also i always end up writing for megumi and it turns out way longer than i intended. and this one is by the far the longest one for him and just a general piece haha idk what it is lol but please enjoy this! and thank you anon for ordering, hope the ending was satisfying!

previous order: comforting his s/o – n. kento

a bubbling rage boiled in megumi’s chest and his anger only clouded his thoughts. the sight of you lying lifelessly on the cold ground, blood quickly soaking the surrounding earth made megumi blank out. he’s quick to feel so numb that it quickly shrouds his brain making him unleash techniques he had yet to discover.

he exorcised the curses, ruthlessly and violently so much so that yuuji and nobara had no idea what to do and rather relied on gojo to calm the black-haired boy. but all that bursting rage didn’t bring you back to consciousness. when you were brought to shoko, megumi expected the worst and even shoko acknowledged that even if she did her best.

you may not even survive. and that sickening feeling of you disappearing did not settle well in megumi’s stomach. but fortunately, shoko had barely brought you back to the cost of falling into a coma. relief may have washed over megumi for a second, but the bubbling guilt and remorse was no stranger.

megumi had drowned himself in his self-deprecating thoughts and self-inflicted guilt. he blamed himself for being weak and unable to protect someone so important to him and the last thing he wanted was tsumiki’s incident to repeat itself, especially if you were in that place.

yet it seemed like the fates were not in favor.

the days were heavy and filled with tension when training happened. the spikey haired boy was ruthless and continuously showed no mercy against his opponents. while it did leave bruises and sore muscles, yuuji, nobara and the second years had never seen megumi this agitated yet rightfully so.

you were a very important piece of megumi and suddenly you were ripped from his grasp and on the edge of death’s door. anyone in his place would feel like this. and as much as he wanted to, megumi refused to visit you.

he feared looking at your unconscious state and coming to the realization that, yes, he could be losing you and he was not ready to come to terms with that. he thinks he never would.

the day that you woke up, you had been surrounded by all of the first and second years for their daily visit to you. megumi had been forced to go by all of them after they got irritated with the shikigami’s stubbornness. and even still, they reluctantly let him be and went on their way to your room. unbeknownst to them, megumi had waited outside the room silently.

each of the students had taken a chance to talk about their days and occasionally would burst into petty arguments (read: yuuji, nobara, and maki) should the pink or orange-haired teens say something worth eye-rolling to. but when panda and toge were shushing and pointing in your direction, all of their eyes lit up when your eyes landed on each of theirs.

���let me bring shoko-san!” yuuji quickly dismisses himself and runs out of the room to find the said doctor. you had barely woken up but nobara is sobbing over you and gripping your hand so tightly. you had no strength to refuse so you let her be.

but when your eyes fall on a familiar pair of wide green ones, the corner of your lips twitch up. megumi realizes and swiftly looks away, missing how your lips turn into a frown. the exchange is unnoticed and maki begins to force nobara off and leave the place.

“don’t chicken out.” maki uttered loud enough for megumi to hear. as soon as the door slid closed, the room was riddled with awkwardness and silence. your mouth attempted to open so you could speak but because of the lack of hydration in your body, you couldn’t utter a single word. the attempt is unnoticed by the boy because he’s too busy looking at his shoes. just when he had the courage to speak, shoko enters.

“oh, megumi.” the woman acknowledges before walking over to your bedside to check your vitals.

“you look pretty well.” the tired doctor said, giving you a hint of a smile as she writes down on her clipboard. “you sustained pretty critical injuries but i was able to stop them before it got any worse…” the doctor goes on about physical therapy to recover the lost body movement and staying in the medical ward until she deems that you are well enough to be released.

“sorry, megumi, they’re gonna be here for a few days so i can watch over their recovery. you can visit later though.” shoko said hopefully to megumi nods and takes his leave. as soon as the door shuts, shoko takes a glance at you to see the flash of disappointment about the boy’s leave, but she doesn’t pry and proceeds with the check-up.

maki was disappointed in megumi to say the least.

the following few days have been quite hard for you. you’ve been in recovery for five days already and while it did take you a while to get over the soreness and therapy, you missed being with your friends.

you missed the little petty arguments between yuuji and nobara and training with the second years. but most of all, you missed megumi. what hurts you the most was that he hadn't even visited you since your last encounter when you woke up.

you told yourself that megumi was trying to get over his initial shock of your wake up and you understood, for a few days, but the fifth day made you believe that maybe it isn’t so much about you waking up.

when you asked yuuji and nobara about megumi, they’d glance at each other and come to a silent agreement to shrug and give you the same excuse.

“he’s training with gojo sensei.” they know you saw right through their lie the first time they said it, and to be honest, they were a bit guilty about it.

maki was not a patient person, and if she wants something done, she’ll do it right away. the thing that’s happening between you and megumi has been putting her in a pretty shitty mood.

she told the boy to talk to you already but with that stubborn personality of his, megumi put off on confronting his feelings, and now everyone can obviously see that both of you were not so happy.

“can you go talk to them already?” maki clicked her tongue, one side of bed staff pointed inches away from megumi’s face. they had been airing and maki, as per usual, had gotten the first year on the ground in a swift move.

“i don’t know what you’re talking about.” megumi huffed, looking away as if saying i’ll take the defeat already. but maki is not having it.

“just go talk to them, idiot!” maki snapped. “they’re obviously not going to talk to you if you keep being a little asshat, and you wouldn’t like that would you?” the words sting a little, and megumi hates the thought of you ignoring him for who knows how long.

“whatever.” the boy says, shooing away the edge of maki’s staff, and stands up, patting his clothes.

“you better talk to them or else someone’s going to snatch them up.” maki voices, turning around and walking toward the rest of the second years and nobara. megumi stares at the back of his senior’s back and almost lets her words slip his mind.

after that encounter with maki, megumi finds himself standing in front of your room door. apparently, shoko had acknowledged your quick recovery and assigned you to stay in your room for a few more days until you can officially get back to training.

megumi hasn’t counted how long he’s been stupidly standing there with his hand coming up to knock before coming back down to his side in a clenched fist. you must have sensed his distressed spiritual pressure because you’re the one that opens the door.

“i knew it was you, megumi.” you said, a tired grin on your lips. his eyes look away and his hand comes to rub the side of his neck.

“mm.”

“do you want to come in?” it’s a faint nod, but you open the door wider and step to the side so he can walk in. as soon as the door closes, it’s quiet and megumi is standing in the middle of the room, awkwardly waiting for you to speak. he’s been in your room many times but this time, it feels different. and you know it too.

“well, you can sit down.” you say with a chuckle, an attempt to lighten up the tense mood. you move to sit on your bed, sitting crisscrossed and megumi just inches away, sitting at the edge.

“so, what brought you here?” you inquired, and he’s thankful and guilty that you’re the one that’s doing the talking. he just doesn’t know where to start. he wants to apologize and confess how weak he was and how he should have been able to protect you, but it’s so jumbled that he doesn’t know what to do.

his jumbled silent thinking seemed like the black-haired shikigami was ignoring you. to say the least, when you sensed his spiritual pressure outside of your door, you were excited that he finally came. but now, it seemed like he still wasn’t prepared to talk, and that he came here just to say something you didn’t want to hear.

“megumi, tell me what’s wrong?” you asked, voice feeling hopeless and confused and lost. megumi hated that. he clenched his fists and breathed out, eyes shutting right and brows creasing in a frown. to hell with it.

“i wasn’t strong enough to protect you.” he said. “if—if i had just been fast enough, strong enough, you wouldn’t be where you are right now.” you didn’t know what overcame you but your palm had made contact with the boy’s cheek.

it wasn’t a hard slap because of your still aching muscles, but it was enough to leave the presence of your cool fingers. megumi’s eyes widened as he looked at you, tips of his fingers touching the skin of his cheek.

“you idiot. that’s why you haven’t been coming here?” you clicked your tongue, but your eyes are brimming with tears. “i wasn’t hurt because of you. this happened because i made the decision to do what was right. you’re here, megumi, safe and sound, and that’s all that i needed.” a frown appears on megumi’s brows and his chest is tingling with that familiar feeling.

“you were hurt because of me.” he uttered.

“megumi, that’s not—”

“if i took that hit, you wouldn’t have been here. i should be the one in this bed, not you.”

“it’s not your fault, megumi.” you pressed, but the words don’t reach his ears. his rambling is making your irritated and annoyed. why couldn’t he understand that sometimes it’s okay to be protected? to have people sacrifice themselves.

“if only i were strong enough—”

“but you are strong, megumi!” you burst. “you are strong enough. you’re strong and powerful. can you please just listen to me? i did what i thought was right, and i wanted to protect you because you’re someone important. it’s okay that i got a kick out of it so long that you were alright.”

“but i should be protecting you.” megumi countered.

“megumi, listen.” you sighed. “you don’t always have to protect others, it’s okay to be the one being protected. you’re important to me and your safety was just as important as mine. i was just unlucky that i got hit…this badly.” the frown never ceases from his brows and he huffs.

“i just don’t get it.” he said.

“what is that you don’t get?” you ask gently. the blacked haired boy ponders in silence. why had he been so worked up about all of this? yes, you were his classmate and friend.

a friend he considered to be an important part of him. a friend that he finds himself somehow drawn to every time you come into the room. a friend that makes his heart beat like he ran for thousands of miles. was he supposed to be feeling like this? to a friend?

“megumi?” and why does his heart race when you call his name?

“i–i think i like you.” megumi finally says, eyes looking up to you. the room is silent again as you process what he just did so suddenly. the boy doesn’t waver one bit and rather satisfyingly comes to terms to his new discovery.

and just when he thought you’d say something right away, megumi begins to feel self-conscious and stupid to confess at a time like this. but it seems like you beat him to it.

“that’s a relief.” you chuckle breathlessly and break into a timid smile. “i like you too, megumi.” megumi’s eyes grow wider and his beat beats unbearable faster than before, this time happy and excited. his mouth opens and closes like a fish and it makes you giggle.

“we’re idiots, aren’t we?” the question is silly and megumi breaks into a chuckle.

“yeah, we are.”

© nanastea – i do not permit copying, revising, modifying, reposting, etc.!

if you enjoyed, reblogs are welcomed! ෆ(´ . .̫ . `)ෆ what can i get for you?

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[corruptedconfessions]

Hey if you’re still wanting fluffy requests, how about erasermic cuddling/comforting their darling? (Tbh something soft sounds pretty nice right about now . ) Ty💕

This is more of a quick drabble, I didn’t really have a plotline in mind it was more just ??? Idk. I hope you enjoy it though! 

Me? Posting soft non yan stuff on my blog?? More likely than you think apparently. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your head was buzzing as you puttered around the kitchen, trying to figure out what to do for dinner that night. You needed to decide on something, cook it…maybe ask Hizashi if he wanted some. Shouta wasn’t home yet but your other partner was, you could hear him shuffling around in the living room. It had been so long since you had been home at the same time with just one of them, even longer since all three of you had been in the same room for more than a few passing moments. Rushed kisses and brief tired smiles were what your relationship had been boiled down to, all of you too busy with your lives, with your jobs to even think about trying to line up a time to be together.

Hizashi had the new special he was doing for his radio station, hiring new people, setting up new equipment, balancing that between endless interviews about his new project and teaching. Meanwhile Shouta…you weren’t sure what Shouta was doing. He left in the mornings earlier than usual, came back from patrols hours late, only catching a few brief hours from where he usually collapsed on the couch before he was up leaving for UA again. You needed to check in on him soon, unlike Hizashi he wasn’t one to share and vent freely, he kept his emotions and stress bundled tight until one of his partners gently coaxed it out of him.

Yet another thing to add to your endless to-do list.

You tried to focus, you really did. But you found yourself continuing to space out, mind pulled back to issues that you felt like you were drowning in, left alone at sea. Focus focus focus. Food. You could do this, you just needed to get food.

You looked one way while your hand aimlessly groped at a counter. A pan? You need that right? But a pan for what? What were you making? Your head spun as you tried to grab onto a solid thought but they felt like strings slipping through your fingers. You felt so detached, you just couldn’t…

You turned around, bumping the cabinet that your hand was still holding onto. It swung shut, slamming onto your thumb, leaving pain shooting through your hand as you gasped.

“Fuck!”

You pulled your hand to your chest, squeezing the injured finger as you bit your lip, shoulders starting to shake as you pushed down the tears that welled up in your eyes, trying to breathe through the tightness in your chest. Fuck. Not now.

“Songbird?”

That was all it took for the dam in your chest to break. Your shoulders shook silently for a second before loud pained sobs. Immediately your partner was at your side, the comforting hand on your back only proving to make you cry harder.

“What’s wrong? Did you hurt yourself?”

You shook your head, crying harder, fat tears falling down your cheeks in what felt like rivers, water dripping off your chin. Strong arms wrapped around you, gently pulling you away from the cabinet and into a warm comforting chest. The act was tender, almost painfully so. You found yourself leaning into the pain, though, chest aching as you sobbed into his shirt, soaking it with your tears.

“Shh, it’s okay…”

Ever so carefully you felt yourself being lifted up, scooped up princess style, cradled, cherished. You cried into his chest as he carried you into the bedroom, desperately clinging to him when he let his grip slip even just a little. Your entire chest ached at the thought of being separated from him for a second. You couldn’t even bring yourself to feel ashamed as he shushed you gently, staying close as he kicked off his slippers, sliding into bed with you. Ever so carefully you were arranged on his chest, splayed across his front with your ear pressed over his heart. Slowly your cries softened as he continued to move you, getting both of you comfortable and settled as you tried to quiet the sound of your own sobs so you could hear the steady comforting beat of his heart. Faintly you could hear Shouta’s voice join into the room, he sounded worried, Hizashi sounded worried when he replied, keeping his voice hushed to not disturb your crying. Great…now they both saw you like this. You snuggled closer to the blonde’s chest, trying to just focus on his heartbeat as their voices faded away.

Soon the room was filled with the soft sound of song, melodies, and lyrics that you immediately latched onto. They were familiar, soft, and comforting. It had been a long time since either of your partners had sung to you, even though you loved both of their voices. Even if Hizashi liked to sing too loud, or go off-key, or even make his own lyrics. Why had that ever stopped?

You could hear Shouta buzzing about the room, lighting a few of your favorite candles, closing the blinds, and casting the room into darkness except for the soft dim glow of the candles and the light peaking under the door from the bathroom. The dark should feel heavy, oppressing, but it didn’t. It felt very similar to a warm blanket being draped over you. Subconsciously you found yourself snuggling closer to Hizashi, letting your eyes drift shut as you let his soft hums roll over you, the vibrations going through chest soft and soothing against your cheek. Faintly you could feel Shouta lifting the blankets and slipping in behind you, pressing up against your back. You could feel his lips against your head as he kissed you before kissing Hizashi’s forehead, snuggling down against the two of you as he wrapped his arms around you both. Your breathing was still hitched, the threat of tears lingering for a second before never coming, finally, you felt yourself relax, melting into the touch with a soft sigh.

Someone's fingers slid through your hair, two different legs spread across yours, entangling together with each other. Honestly, you weren’t sure where each of you started and each of you ended. You were all entangled together, taking comfort in the closeness that was so rare these days. You couldn’t remember the last time you were cuddled up to both of them, Hizashi singing soft lullabies in your ear while Shouta’s fingers drew idle shapes across both of his lover's bodies. It had been too long, you decided. You would need to sit down with them and talk about finding a way to have date nights, or at the very least nights where you all slept in the same bed at the same time. But that was for later. For now, you would rest.

#hizashi x reader #shouta x reader #reader insert #erasermic x reader

[kenmasangel]

you get shot infront of tsukishima

synopsis : you and tsukishima work as police officers and it is known that this field isn’t safe from dangers, in fact it’s one of the riskiest jobs out there. so what you tsukushim’as reaction to see his s/o getting shot right infront of his eyes?

characters : police-officer!tsukishima;  f!reader

genre : angst, fluff

warnings : injuries/blood, cursing, grammar mistakes

masterlist

request : i have one AU in where y\n is a spy or work for police or something like that in which she get's shot or something like that and how the haikyuu boys react to it or more specific tsukishima or any other will be ok if you do it

“straighten your arm, so you are sure to have a good aim,” tsukishima explains, holding your hands so he can guide you correctly.

the sound of the bullet being shot echoed in the practice room, lending on your target perfectly, “see? this is what i’m talking about,” he adds his warm breath carresing your neck. it would’ve sent shivers down your spine but you were taught to keep your composure, to have this poker face and to numb down any type of emotions; after all this was your work and you knew what you signed up for when you decided to join the police. “okay now that i got it let me do it alone,” you straightened your position and he got away from you

3 other shots, 3 other perfect lendings earning a smirk from the both of you. you turn around getting rid of the soundproof headphones, “don’t say anything,” he says before heading out of the practice room

“what? say what?” you hide your smile, now walking next to him

&#144;“you know what i mean y/n, i am not gonna tell you did a good job,” he rolls his eyes

“oh honey, i don’t need you to tell me, i know i did a good job,” he scoffs at your reply

you and tsukishima kei have been working together in the police for 9 years now

he was here before you and he didn’t miss a chance to tease trainee you every time he could

at the time you were focused and had one objective : integrate the police forces

and him butting in your buisiness everytime he could didn’t help and you weren’t afraid to twist his arm and threaten him to break his balls when no one was looking

as you finally got into the police, making yourself a name among all those cocky officers, fake peace guardians and mysoginist dickheads whose ego would get hurt easily by seeing a woman outshining them

tsk, poor things

one thing was sure is that you could always rely on tsukishima

and despite all the bickering, arguments and teasing, you couldn’t help but fall for the man who represented your pillar

of course you could count on yourself more than anyone, but kei was that breeze of fresh air that you inhaled pleasently after getting out of a suffocating room

needless to say he had also fallen for you, fallen really hard

he was known for being the brain of the team, very rare were the people who could go past his cold, inaccessible shield

to say it in another way, almost no one passed his vibe check

by now you guys were living together, everyone knew that you were a thing after you dramatically announced it once the contract’s interdiction to date was over

“omfg y’all, i made it! 4 years in the forces wohoo!” you held your glass in the air making your teammates scream back in entusiasm.

your teammates told you -lowkey forced you- to go celebrate this new chapter of your life in the police forces, it was the end of an era after all; an era that prevented you from many things because of that goddamn contract. you had alos gotten a promotion, everything was doing just great for you.

what no one knew was that you were dating tsukishima for quite a long while actually, you weren’t planning on telling everyone so soon but the events that happened that night lowkey forced you to do so.

“thanks everyone for celebrating with me tonight the beginning of a new era for me! let’s enjoy the night!” you weren’t one for emotional speeches.

everyone was drunk by then but tsukishima, of course, (mr. i am a mature man who doesn’t drink). he was watching over you, laughing at himself when he saw you fighting with your collegue about who would win a spicy ramen competition between, “i don’t care that you’re built like a whale or a blob fish, it doesn’t even matter! i would win that eating competition, i’m tiny but mighty narita-san! let’s wrestle so i can show you,”

“she really called him a blob fish,” he comments amazed at how incoherent what you said sounded. “need someone to share your thoughts with?” a feminine voice made an apparition next to him

“no,” he didn’t even bother looking at the woman next to him

“oh c’mon handsome, playing hard to get?” she gets closer to him. “just take a look at me and you’ll change your mind,” she whispered

“ew you stink, get away from me,” he pushed her off him

“you’re gonna make me sad,” she tried to get closer to him again

“and i am gonna make you feel pain, get the fuck away from him,” you appeared in front of  them, pretty pissed

she looked at you up and down, scoffed “are you his mom? leave us alone, we’re having a great time,” she tried to put her hand on his thigh but he pushed it away “most definetely not,” he answers

“i am his girlfriend, so back tf off don’t make me repeat myself,” you added getting closer to them. “you really don’t wanna mess with me,”

“is she really your girlfriend?” the glue chick insisted

before he could answer you  grabbed his arm and dramtaically pressed your lips against his making all your collegues and the people around you in that club gasp.

i mean the people who don’t know you started cheering and your collegues gasped, that glue of a girl included.tsukishima couldn’t help but smirk against your lips as he wrapped his long fingers holding the back of your neck pulling you closer, it lasted until you didn’t have any more oxygen in your lungs.

he grabbed your hand and led the both of you out of the club, “but baaaabe i till get to wrestle with blob fish-kun,” you pouted

the day after was supposed to be a weekend but you’ve been called for idk what reason

needless to say everyone was off, some remembered few snippets, some thought it was their imagination

anyway, everyone knew but no one really talked it out you know ? some type of unspoken rule or whatever but no one minded

anyway back to the present moment

you’ve been tracking for months a drug network or whatever the heck it is called

after months of intense tracking, following clues, interviewing suspects, sleepless nights and living of caffeine here you were going to finally stop the mfs

and tonight was the night

all your team was ready to catch them it was a matter of hours only

“areyou ready for tonight?” asked you tsukki handing you your coffee

“of course i am, especially after practicing my aim,” he smirks. “thanks by the way,” you add, head still down readeing your reports

“hey... hey yn,” he tris to catch his attention but you just hmm in response. “tsk, dumbass,” he flicks your forehead

“ow, what ? i am busy!” you retort. “yn i know you; you’re not busy you’re stressed, everything is gonna be fine okay? you’ve got this, we’ve got this,” he held your hand

kei was not big on affacetion, he never really showed it especially in public he was more of a sarcatic remarks and teasing type of boyfriend but it never stopped him from showing affection when it was needed, like this moment. it was also not your type to show affection or feelings as you learned how to control them; it was much needed in your job. yet it didn’t bother you when each of you got out of your way to be comfort each other

you smiled at him and peckd his lips quickely before anyone could see, “you know i love you right,” you smiled at him

“well, i’d love me too. i mean who wouldn’t after all,” you roll his eyes at his smugness

“excuse me sir, but i don’t mix up between my personal and pro life. would you please stay 6 feet away from me,” you nag at him

“so petty and for what?” you stuck your tongue as an answeryou continued checking all the reports and files before you went on the spot, everyone was getting ready by now and you were alone in the office when you received a very much unexpected call

“hel-,”

“hello? please come help me i’m in depot 5, building 3, neighborhood koenji, in front of the subway station please hurry before they find me,” the call ended brutally

you place that person mentionned was familiar to you, of course it was where you were going to catch the heads of that network of drug trafficking. you quickely went with the procedure to report the call and the emergency to the central

“yuki please be quick we can’t let them go, i am going now tell the others to join me there and send more men,” you blurt quickely before taking your protection and gun and leaving

once you arrived there you parked the car where no one could see it

wearing your protection and your gun tightly held in your hands, you looked for a discrete entery where you could sneak inyou finally ended up getting in from the back stairs leading to the 3rd floor before taking the stairs to go to the depot basement

you tried your best not to make any noise, and when you heard some noise you quickely hid behind a broken furnitureyou mentally asked yourself if you team was going to be there soonyou heard the voice of many men, plastic and metal sounds, anyway; sounds you’d hear in a depot filled with drug dealers, ya know the drill

at some point you heard the sounds vanish and going awayyou waited a few minutes before you thought it was a good idea to come out your hiding spot

as you walked closer to their previous spot you stumbled into a metalic box that was on the floor, “who’s there?” you quickely hid behind a pillar

“i said who the fuck is there ?” the man shot in the air but you didn’t budge

“it’s rats, Mo’, let’s go,” another man added

great, just great yn you mentally scolded yourself

you decided to go wait for your collegues in the third floor since they would get there soon

as you saw the police car parking next to yours you hurried quietly to join them

“y/n you sick fuck they could’ve caught you,” tsukki hurries out of the car to see you

“shush! i couldn’t let them go, i wanted to make sure they didn’t leave,” you explained. “so they are there, all the heads are there. i couldn’t find the person who called thoough, and of course there are many bodyguards; 4 in the main entry, 2 in the back, i also heard there are some on the roof.” you explain when the others came in. “i got there through these strairs leading to the 3rd floor,” you add, everyone nodding

“okay so here’s how it’s gonna go,” starts daichi; since he is the captain of your team. he proceeds to explain how things are gonna go, the way you’re going to catch them ...ect

you, kei, and two others were teamed up together

the plan was going perfectly fine, everything was in order and it was bound to succeed

heads were being captured one by one, everyone getting neutralized

but nothing can go 100% fine, right ?

the four of you were going up to the roof so you can capture the guards there and finish the mission

you slightly opened the door and entered the opened space, before you could comprehend what was happening you a felt a horrible pain in your leg and a compilation of balls being shot in the air

“YN! yn, stay with me, don’t you dare close your eyes,” kei hurries to you after him and the two others had shot the guards and called back up

you felt him wrap his jacket around your thigh tightly, “yn baby please, everything is gonna be fine you-,” he gasps after he felt his hand getting wet after he took your head, his eyes widden seeing how bloody his hand was and as he realized you hurt your head when you fell due to the shock

“kei,” a feint smile appeared on your face before you succumbed to your succumbed and let your heavy eyes take a rest

“YN? YN? no, no, no, no, are they fucking coming?” he asked your teammates who nodded. “baby stay with me,” he squeezed you tighter before scooping you up and deciding it was better to take you down himself and not wait for the emergencies to come since he thought they were taking too long

                                       ༺═──────────────═༻

you woke up with a horrible headache and how your muscles felt so sore, only the febril rays of the moonlight getting through the window illuminated the room. the annoying beeping of the machine next to you increased the pounding in your head

a nurse quickly came in, “hello there, how are you feeling?” you looked at her confused, finding a difficulty in letting the words slip from your dry throat, the only thing you managed to say was ‘pain’. “it’s normal,” she proceeded to ask you a bunch of questions, checking that machine and do her work

after she left you tried to remember what happened but the last thing you could remember was when you opened the door of the rooftop, hearing bullets getting shot and that’s it

“at least i’m not dead,” you sighed, going back to sleep

you woke up due to yelling in the hallway

“i told you to call me as soon as she woke up! you had one job!” you recognized your boyfriend’s voice

“sir, sir!” the nurse called him out but he opened your door and his expression softened as he saw you awake, softly smiling at him and rolling your eyes

he hurried to you, taking your hands in his softly, “i really want to hug you, but i don’t want to hurt you,” he started. he let out a shaky sigh, “ i was so scared, i didn’t want to believe i had lost you,” he burried his face in your chest, you noticed his shoulders started shaking slightly

“hey it’s fine baby, i’m here, you can’t get rid of me easily,” you started playing with his hair. “we’re gonna be old and bitter and people are gonna say how i aged like fine one and how your wrinkles are covering your grumpy face,” you chuckled

he lifted his head to look at you, “what?” you ask, your voice in a whisper

“i love you,” he said, you smiled soflty and carressed his cheek.

“i really want to kiss you but my breath stinks,” you chuckle, he rolls his eyes. “how long has it been? you ask

“week and a half, it felt like forever,” he pressed his forehead against yours, cupping your cheek

“i’m back now, right?” you smiled. “come, ow,” you tried to make somle place for him

“omg careful dumbass,” he leaned next to you and held your hand

“how are the others?” you ask, looking at your interwined fingers

“everything is alright, we got all of them we’re done with this case,” he tried to end the topic. “i’m glad,” you voiced your thoughts

“i’m glad you’re alive,” he added. “i don’t want to be away from you, i want to spend the rest of my life with you,” surprised, you looked at him with wide eyes. “love, life is short especially with our job and i don’t want to take the risk to spend one more day without you being my wife. i want to bicker with you over the dumbest things, see you tease me back when i tease you, wake up everyday next to you and your horrible bedhead, enjoy our food together and i can keep on listing what i want to live with all day long. i know this is not the best proposal ever but i’ll make it up to you,” he balbbered all of a sudden, you just kept staring at him this whole time, tears blurring your vision but you blinked them away, the situation itself was already way too emotional for you

“so, y/l/n y/n, do you want to become old, bitter and grumpy with me?” his eyes were full of hope

“i wish i could hug you right now,” you started. “but yes, i want to!”

he cupped your cheek and kissed you deeply, he still tried not to hurt you

“but you are the one with the horrible bedhead,” you pulled away

“right, you’re the one with the stinky breath,” he teased you

“hey, are you crying? i should be the one crying,” you noticed his glossy eyes

“what are you talking about, it’s allergies, tsk,” he flicked your forehead, you winced in pain and hid your face, over exaggerating, making him worried. “didi hurt you? omg baby i’m so sorry love, i didn’t mean into, should i call the doctor?”

you finally showed your face and stuck your tongue out, “dumbass,” he smiled.

he cupped your face and pulled you into another kiss

#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!! #haikyuu headcannons #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! scenarios #haikyuu!! imagine #haikyuu imagines #tsukishima kei #tsukishima #kei #karasuno #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima x yn #tsukishima x you #tsukishima hc #tsukishima headcanons #tsukishima headcannon #tsukishima scenario #tsukishima imagine #haikyuu!! tsukishima kei #haikyuu tsukishima #angst #fluff #hc #hcs #scenario #imagine

[moral-turpitudes]

College Headcanons: Modern!Peaky Blinders Edition

Part 1 | Part 2

A/N: This came to me in a dream. Enjoy. 

Thomas Shelby:

Double Major: Political Science and Business Management (bc he likes to work himself to death) Minor: Military Sciences/ROTC

Likes debating and trying to outsmart the professor.

Often seen on campus with bloody knuckles from rocking someone’s jaw.

Would 100% punch a motherfucker for being mean to someone he cares about.

Doesn’t need to be in a fraternity to be known around campus, just don’t mess with him and you’ll be fine.

All the girls whisper as he walks by but he don’t give a fuck cuz he has to go to his lectures.

He’s on time for every class and pulls out his pocket watch if the professor is more than 5 minutes late. If the professor can’t bother showing up then he dips out.

Almost got suspended for one too many fist fights.

Has a “thing” for the barista at the campus Starbucks. He learned after frequent visits, that her name was Grace and that she liked black coffee just like him.

Mysterious and moody af. No one knows if they’ve ever seen him smile, except when chatting up Grace.

Tries his best to study, but ends up getting dragged into his siblings shenanigans or into his head about the family business.

Keeps to himself for the most part, except for having a few close friends.

Hates technology so he uses a typewriter and prefers receiving letters/mail over emails.

Can’t figure out how to use Grace the baristas phone when typing in his number and tells her to write it down instead.

Often tells her to meet him after her shift. 😏

Professors hate him because of his reliance on paper. Totes not eco-friendly but he doesn’t care. Tommy always gets his way.

Grace always gives him a cookie for free cuz she knows he forgets to eat.

Always seen smoking or sneaking drinks of whiskey in a flask, even at 7am lectures.

Binge drinks on weekends with his bros, and drunk calls barista Grace when he has maybe 3 working brain cells left for the night. On other weekends when he’s coherent, he meets with Polly and tries to discuss business plans since their dad dipped out like a bitch.

To make matters worse, after dating for a while, Grace just leaves him. He thinks his aunt Polly may have been too hard on her, but he didn’t know until later that she lied when she said she didn’t know about the business. But barista bitch knew everything, and was gonna expose them to her higher-ups in the criminal justice department before long.

Arthur Shelby:

Major: Agriculture Minor: Military Science/ROTC

Graduated just barely.

Ended up in some trouble with his peeps in the military science department, probs for cussing someone out.

Angry, loud, and emotional af.

Loved drinking with John and his frat boy friends.

No one messed with him if they valued their life.

Started one too many fights and got suspended for reals. Almost beat a man to death but we don’t talk about that.

He gets stressed really easily so in his free time he draws horses.

When he gets real mad he takes it to the campus boxing ring and punches to his hearts content.

On his way back to his dorm one night he saw a girl who was in his agriculture class. She was cute and also in a “Christian” ministry group on campus. He decided to chat her up when she was preaching, just to see what it was about.

They later dated but then she cheated around with a fellow churchy man and just went off the rails. When he found out it wasn’t pretty.

Her friends and pastor most likely shamed her cuz she be ✨sinning✨. Therefore not helping her mental state.

Her name was Linda. Never trust a Linda.

Everyone tried to console Arthur but only boxing and drinking at Johns frat house did the trick.

Tommy often had to run to his dorm in the middle of the night to talk him out his mental breakdowns. College is hard.

In the end, he was glad he did agriculture even if his crazy ex would constantly stare at him during lectures, probably plotting his demise.

Some days he’d take out his frustrations by chopping wood and helping out on the farm where he worked and studied most days.

But you bet your ass fuckin’ Linda showed up to his dorm one time though with a gun and tried to shoot him, but she didn’t know his brothers and aunt were there too. Polly may have shot her in the arm tho. But when the campus PD showed up shit really went down.

We don’t know where Linda is now, but that’s probs for the best.

John Shelby:

Major: Music (idk I felt like he’s a musical boi) Minor: Military Science/ROTC

He’s a frat boy through and through. He drops it low on the dance floor and is known to dive onto beer pong tables.

Constantly going to parties and hooking up with sorority girls, that is until he meets a girl named Esme who’d been dragged to the party by her friends.

Suddenly he ain’t no hoe no more, he’s head over boots in love with her and she loves him too.

They be sneaking around in various buildings, often having to make a run for it to escape security.

He’d play her songs after hard training days with his military buds cuz it helps him calm down.

He’s not as violent as his older brothers, but he’ll fuck a person up if needed.

His fraternity is the second most important thing to him besides his girl. He loves the energy of the fraternity, the partying, and acting a whole fool with his friends, but Esme has him whipped.

His studies are struggling though cuz he loves to get turnt. He hates the studying aspect of college.

Always getting his brothers into trouble.

Snorts coke off Esme’s tits on occasion at the frat parties. It’s a wild time.

Has the mouth of a sailor but a heart of gold.

Talks of kids with Esme after dating for a year. Can’t afford a ring yet tho, but their bud Jeremiah marries them anyway on a whim.

After Arthur and the Grace fiasco ensues, he drops out of college because Esme falls pregnant. In the end, she ends up getting the chickens and wild cottage!core house she’d always wanted. They both decide to raise their kids there, living their best lives until Tommy drags them into more family matters later on.

Ada Shelby:

Major: English Minor: Gender & Women’s Studies

Always seen in the most stylish clothes.

She’s quiet most times but can be very knowledgeable on various subjects.

She’s constantly going off on her older brothers and trying to smack some sense into them.

Feels like something is off with the barista Tommy’s been seeing, but it’s not her problem.

Can 100% find her chilling in the back of Starbucks reading old novels or writing literature reviews.

When she’s not there, she’s holed up in the library where she works part time, studying and practicing for debates.

10/10 would fuck in the library cuz she knows all the best secret places to go to. 😏

Organizes meetings with different campus associations and demands equality for students.

Spends her free time surfing the net for clothes or keeping an eye out for a potential new bae.

Is probably the best at studying. She earns the best grades let’s be honest.

Will not hesitate to call a bitch out. She may not throw hands but she’ll throw words that can cut you like a knife.

Works for the campus paper, spilling all the tea on campus life. Her brothers often reluctantly agree to be her mock interview subjects for a range of assignments.

She breaks necks when walking around campus, everyone moves out of their way for her.

She’s a bad bitch.

Finn Shelby:

Major: Photography Minor: English

He hates how violent his brothers are but would 10/10 back them up if needed.

Often asks Ada for advice on studying and girls.

Doesn’t like the frat boy scene like John, but goes to the parties anyways with his best friends Isiah and Bonnie.

He’s a freshman and you can tell. He still has a glimmer of life in his eyes and a pep in his step as he walks around campus.

When he’s not taking pictures for class, he’s taking pictures of his girlfriend.

She’s his muse even when doing the simplest of things like sitting in a chair or reading one of his English books.

Each week he’d surprise her with a picture he took when she wasn’t looking, telling her how beautiful she is.

He may not look strong, but after many nights at the boxing ring with Arthur, he knew how to throw a punch.

He almost flunked his studies a couple times, getting too caught up in partying or being with his girl, but Ada and his Aunt Polly set him straight.

Voted by his family as most likely to not get arrested or suspended from college.

He’d have deep conversations with his friends, often confusing them because it was just that deep.

In his spare time he’d go boxing with Arthur or would try to help Tommy with his essays, but Tommy would get frustrated and tell him to fuck off within the first 10 minutes.

Polly Gray:

Profession: Business Management Professor Side Job: Managing the blinder business with Tommy

When she’s not teaching class, she’s managing the blinder business that was left to her and Tommy to tackle. This also means covering up any suspicions that arise on campus. She has her hands full.

She’s Tommy’s only shred of common sense some days when he gets too stressed out from his 10,000 majors and minors, or wants to plan to overthrow the university.

Will not hesitate to slap someone, preferably her unruly nephews.

Anyone can lie to her but the truth always falls through the cracks, and when she finds out, you’d pray you faced the devil instead.

In her spare time she reads tea leaves and prays for the corrupt souls of her son and his cousins. She really just begs to god that they can come together for once to get the business in line, but even that may be asking too much.

Knows a snake when she sees one. *cough* *cough* Grace the barista.

She’s the first one to tell someone I told ya so, especially her students when they flunk her tests because they decided to get drunk the night before.

When she’s not yelling at her nephews or grading papers, she can be seen at the local bar chatting up coworkers and old flames, hoping to find “the one” eventually. She ends up having a “thing” for the quirky Philosophy professor though. He’s kind of shady cuz she finds out he’s in a similar business on the side, but it only makes her like him more. She craves the danger.

They later end up in a whirlwind romance similar to John and Esme, and everyone loves that for them.

She can also be seen with her head in her hands when trying to persuade Tommy to use technology.

“What is copy and paste Pol? Can’t I just write it down? What’s up with all these gadgets aye?”

“If you want your hand to fall off and to make me lose my mind, then yes, write it down. Grading is bloody hard enough as it is, let alone grading your papers. You’re just like your father ya know, always doing things the hard way.”

Tells Gina off when she gets the chance just like she did Grace. She didn’t shoot her like Linda though, she just hurt some feelings.

May have aided in Grace’s “sudden” departure…maybe…just a little bit.

Secretly ships Tommy with a woman named Lizzie who had been her assistant at her office. She knew she could trust her more, at least.

Despite her harshness, she’s just trying to keep her family from completely fucking up their lives.

Michael Gray:

Major: Accounting Minor: Business Management

Like Tommy, he doesn’t get the hype of fraternities so he just hangs out with his cousins or his small circle of friends, they aren’t saints though.

His mom, Polly is his business management professor. She always calls on him and gives him a hard time when he spaces out in class.

Is often seen around campus with a few friends or his girlfriend Gina who he met in business class. They’re sickening and it was like a whirlwind romance tbh.

He usually finds himself cleaning up his cousin’s messes when it comes to fighting, but if he has to throw some punches he will.

He’s not as impulsive when it comes to matters of business, but where matters of the heart are concerned that’s another story.

When the blinders and Polly were all at her house for dinner one night he announced he was going to marry Gina. Arthur and John laughed and Tommy smirked slightly, still butt-hurt after his Grace left him for little-to-no reason. Ada grinned and bared the news whilst Polly nearly smacked him on the head.

People didn’t dare mess with him, and that went for all his cousins as well.

He spent a majority of his days in class crunching numbers, and most his nights out with the boys getting drunk or fuckin’ with Gina.

Because his mom held him accountable, his grades rivaled Ada’s causing them to get into some friendly competition at times.

He’s cunning like Tommy though. He got into many a screaming match with the older blinder after trying to take over his position in the family business. It ended in some black eyes and Polly smacking both of them with her newspaper. He knew better than to mess with the devil himself.

Despite the tensions between the cousins at times, he’s always the one they go to when they can’t figure out their math homework, and he’d always have to meet one of them in the library at 3 am to smuggle in some cocaine and a drink to keep them studying.

#katies headcanons #thomas shelby #arthur shelby #john shelby #ada shelby #finn shelby #polly gray #michael gray #peaky blinders headcanons #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinders imagines #peaky blinders #can y’all tell I’m obsessed with the dark academia aesthetic lately?

[helbertinelli]

As someone who likes a lot of the newer Star Wars content that’s been put out in the past decade, I’m wondering why a lot of people are constantly claiming that “Disney” Anakin and Padme are OOC.

I get it, Anidala is my comfort ship too and I only ever want the best for them, but the circumstances of their marriage were super unhealthy for both of them and it seems pretty obvious that it would manifest in other ways instead of just at the end of ROTS. They’re both incredibly strong willed people who believe they know what’s right, and they never really got to be together or effectively communicate with each other, and that’s super tragic.

Anakin and Padme are flawed characters, that’s something that people stress a lot, I’m just wondering why when any creator other than George tries to explore those flaws through their relationship, they’re seen as portraying them OOC. Obviously George has a lot of insight into their characters, relationship, and flaws and has revealed a lot about them through interviews, extras, etc., but I don’t think he was necessarily as good at showing it through the films (Padme especially gets a lot of her important scenes/plotlines cut and her characterization kind of suffers from that).

Idk, it might just be that I have a different perspective (I got into the fandom at around 2013 when a lot of new content was coming out) but I don’t struggle with reconciling a lot of the newer works as expanded characterizations, I don’t think that they necessarily contradict what’s present in the films most of the time.

Ultimately, it probably just comes down to how you interpret Star Wars as George Lucas’ creation, the man was very adamant that it was *his* story before he sold it, but I think multiple authorial viewpoints can exist in this massive franchise.

(Obviously people can have their own interpretations and there is no definitive “right” way to look at things, just wondering what the thought process is here)

Thanks for your ask. I’m going to break it down into the points you’ve sent just so I can keep my answer organized and not all over the place. 1. As someone who likes a lot of the newer Star Wars content that’s been put out in the past decade, I’m wondering why a lot of people are constantly claiming that “Disney” Anakin and Padme are OOC.

Because they made Anakin think that Padme would cheat on him and then they made Padme afraid of Anakin and made her tell him they need a break. And because they retconned their story in order to stuff in Clovis in Padme’s story. And it doesn’t fit in the timeline of events that have already been established for Padme and it doesn’t fit with her character at all. In AOTC, in the novel, it says specifically that Padme never made time for herself and she only cared about being a Senator. They mention it in the movie too, but in the book, they go more in depth. There’s no way she made time to have a relationship with Clovis.

Again, for Padme, they (TCW) also make her more focused on her job and they treat Anakin like he’s just some side character in her life. This is completely out of character for Padme. We saw in AOTC that Padme developed from this person who only put her job first, to a person who finally allowed herself to have feelings for someone else and who would put that person before anything else.

If this was not true, then Padme would not have ignored Mace Windu’s request to stay on Tatooine until the Jedi go and rescue Obi-Wan, she would not have married Anakin at the end of AOTC, she would not have gotten pregnant with him, she would not have lived with him on Coruscant, she would not have made plans (and been happy about those plans) to leave her job and move to Naboo and raise their child(ren) there, she would not have went after Anakin after he turned to the dark side and asked him to go away with her.

TCW ignored that Padme got significant development in AOTC and that because of that development her character from TPM and the beginning of AOTC was now changed. They ignored that and decided to portray Padme as we see her at the beginning of AOTC. Spending time with Anakin is a chore, it doesn’t matter what Anakin says even if his concerns are right, only the Republic and her job matter.

There are moments in TCW where their relationship is good, but there are really bad and out of character moments that overshadow the good stuff.

2. I get it, Anidala is my comfort ship too and I only ever want the best for them, but the circumstances of their marriage were super unhealthy for both of them and it seems pretty obvious that it would manifest in other ways instead of just at the end of ROTS. They’re both incredibly strong willed people who believe they know what’s right, and they never really got to be together or effectively communicate with each other, and that’s super tragic.

I don’t think their marriage or the circumstances of their marriage were unhealthy. Their relationship is one of the best ones in Star Wars since it’s very mutual and it’s based on respect and understanding. Padme and Anakin know each other very well and they understand the other like no one else. They’re also nothing but respectful and loving of one another. I don’t see how that is unhealthy.

Them having to hide their marriage and not being able to spend time with one another too because of the war does have an effect on Anakin and Padme, but not on their relationship. Neither of them would think that it would be better not to have a relationship than to have a secret one. I know that Padme said this in AOTC, but she changes her mind about that fairly quick. Again, going to the AOTC book, we actually see Padme doubting her words in that very scene and she’s thinking they’d end up be destroyed worse by not allowing themselves to be together.

3. Anakin and Padme are flawed characters, that’s something that people stress a lot, I’m just wondering why when any creator other than George tries to explore those flaws through their relationship, they’re seen as portraying them OOC. Obviously George has a lot of insight into their characters, relationship, and flaws and has revealed a lot about them through interviews, extras, etc., but I don’t think he was necessarily as good at showing it through the films (Padme especially gets a lot of her important scenes/plotlines cut and her characterization kind of suffers from that). 

George Lucas did not have a lot of time to show Anakin and Padme’s relationship in the movies. And yes, Padme did get a lot of her scenes cut out. I don’t think her characterization suffered from it, because we, as the audience, could still understand what Padme stood for and what was important for her. Sure more detail would have been nice, but I don’t think that her characterization was lacking in any way. Like in AOTC it would have been nice to see more scenes of her that showed her being in love with Anakin, but there were still other scenes left in the movie that showed this very well.

I don’t think that only George Lucas is able to explore the flaws in their relationship and their characters. I think I’ve seen some fragments from some SW books on here that have Anidala scenes and Anakin and Padme do have some conflict, but they resolve it. Like there was one where Padme had to go on a mission that Anakin didn’t approve with and they basically talked it out and reached kind of a compromise I think. And there was another book where Anakin and Padme wanted to make out and have sex, but Bail and Obi-Wan were close by and despite how much they both wanted each other and how much it hurt them not to be together, they agreed it was better this way.

The problem is when people create conflict in their relationship that would not make sense in the first place, and then try to say that because of that conflict they just created, Anakin and Padme’s relationship is bad. Like as I discussed above with TCW and making Anakin think that his wife would cheat on him. That would never happen. I think it was in the ROTS book where Palpatine is trying to convince Anakin that Padme is having an affair with Obi-Wan and Anakin is like “Nope, I know Padme.“

It makes no sense to change Anakin’s character to now believe that his wife is cheating just to create drama in their relationship. The TCW writers tried to push a weird love triangle on a happily married couple and then they tried to make Anakin seem like the bad guy for not liking Clovis forcing himself on Padme and for trying to get her killed before that. They created a conflict that would never happen in their relationship normally and then they were like “Oh look Anidala is toxic!“

4. Idk, it might just be that I have a different perspective (I got into the fandom at around 2013 when a lot of new content was coming out) but I don’t struggle with reconciling a lot of the newer works as expanded characterizations, I don’t think that they necessarily contradict what’s present in the films most of the time.

Ultimately, it probably just comes down to how you interpret Star Wars as George Lucas’ creation, the man was very adamant that it was *his* story before he sold it, but I think multiple authorial viewpoints can exist in this massive franchise.

(Obviously people can have their own interpretations and there is no definitive “right” way to look at things, just wondering what the thought process is here)

I can’t speak for your perspective, but it’s fairly easy to see that TCW is not really expanded characterization in the case of Padme and Anidala, specifically, but it actually contradicts things that were already established in canon. In order to achieve TCW!Padme they had to go back on Padme’s characterization in AOTC and completely ignore her character from ROTS. I know TCW takes place between AOTC and ROTS, but in the timeline, Padme would already have been married to Anakin for some time, so a lot of her characterization from ROTS would have to be incorporated in TCW!Padme. But they didn’t. TCW!Padme is basically TPM + beginning of AOTC Padme but done badly. TCW!Anidala is very contradictory with Anidala in the movies. Not only do Anakin and Padme mistrust one another and doubt each other, but the timeline has been modified to squeeze in Clovis.

We see a bit of conflict in the movies, when Padme tells Anakin that maybe the Republic is wrong and yes, it never goes anywhere, but at least it is realistic conflict. It’s not “Hey here’s my secret boyfriend that I never told you about even though we are married and I’m gonna spend time with him even though he got me poisoned one time and then my handmaiden got killed by his stupid plot and I almost endangered the Republic by helping him out and if you don’t like that he’s forcing himself onto me, then I guess our marriage is broken and we can’t be together for a while.“ That is completely against their relationship based on both of them being loving and honest and respectful to each other.

The movies made it clear that despite everything that was going on in both of their lives, Anakin and Padme found comfort in one another. They were open and honest and loving to each other (up until the point of Anakin turning to the dark side). TCW ignored all of that and pushed their own interpretation onto Anidala. Anidala was meant to be a fairytale romance that was basically the two of them against all odds and they brought the best in each other. Their characters were extremely connected that it was weird to have Padme without Anakin or Anakin without Padme. They were both extremely committed to each other, they were both ride or die for one another. And we saw it in the movies very well. Anakin destroys everything to be with Padme and Padme is willing to leave everything behind to be with him despite all the horrible things he has done. She dies still believing there’s good in him. And then TCW comes in and tries to make Anidala in some cheap TV sitcom romance where all they do is bicker and get jealous and Padme acts like it’s such a chore being Anakin’s wife. They westernize their relationship in the worst kind of way.

There’s no way to not find it contradictory that Padme in the movies who, dies from a broken heart and her last words are that there’s still good in Anakin, despite everything he did to the galaxy and to her personally, would be the same as TCW!Padme, who gets angry and scared of her husband beating up the guy who tried to sexually assualt her and then tells her husband that their marriage isn’t a marriage and that they need to take a break. It makes no sense at all.

I’m all for conflict between Padme and Anakin, but it needs to be realistic conflict. It can’t be what TCW tried to push on them or the silly theories of Padme hating Anakin for turning to the darkside (when she tried to get him to run away with her and even before in AOTC she consoled him after attacking the Tusken) or her trying to kill him at any point (when she dies believing there’s still good in him). That’s like saying that Luke would try to kill his nephew and then run away and hide on a remote planet, abandoning his family. It contradicts what has already been established about him.

Also, when you write something like TCW where you’re basically adding stuff to the middle of something, you’re basically required to know the source material of what came before and what came after the thing you are writing and you need to make your story fit and respect what came before and what came after. Otherwise, you just end up writing TCW!Padme and TCW!Anidala where it contradicts already established canon. If I never watched SW and I would just now start watching it for the first time and I’d watch: TPM, AOTC, TCW, ROTS, SWR, RO, ANH, ESB, and ROTJ, it would make no sense to me how Padme who told Anakin that their marriage isn’t a marriage, would distrust Obi-Wan when he told her of the attack and it would make no sense that she would go to talk to Anakin when TCW showed us how easy it is for her to just dump him.

This goes for TCW and for fan theories where Padme hates Anakin or she tries to kill him, I can’t reconcile those with the actual canon because then that character isn’t Padme anymore, and the ship isn’t Anidala anymore. It goes against the core of the ship, of what makes Anidala Anidala. They’re together because they’re so in love with each other and both of them will die being in love with each other. If you have them break up or end up hating each other, then you’re no longer writing about Anidala, that’s a different pairing entirely. With AUs and headcanons and fics and even other canon material, you have to be careful how you alter something so that the essence of a character or a pairing does not get lost. If it does, then you end up writing about different characters and different relationships. I’ll again use Luke as an example. Luke was willing to die for his family, to get his father, whom he didn’t even know beforehand, back, he even left his training because his family needed him. If you write Luke as being the person who wanted to kill a member of his family at the first sign of darkness, who then abandoned his family, and ignored all calls for him to come back, then you just lost the essence of Luke who was all about unconditional love and family, and you now have a different character altogether.

#anidala #padme amidala #anakin skywalker #sorry this got long #I hope this answers your question? #thanks for your ask #skorupiis #ask