#I know we already got little snippets of them giggling but like

[saltpepperbeard]

waiting for the day where ed and stede get to be as giggly as taika and rhys in the lie detector video

#OFMD #gentlebeard #blackbonnet #edward teach #stede bonnet #revenge rambles #taika waititi #rhys darby #…can y’all tell I’m listening to the lie detector video PFFFF #for the umpteenth time #it brings me such joy #and makes me yearn for stede wheezing that hard #and ed just GIGGLING #and the both of them leaning over/falling into each other from laughter like please #PLEASE #I know we already got little snippets of them giggling but like #HARDCORE LAUGHING #ALL THE TIME #HAPPINESS ALL THE TIME

[clandestineloki]

strawberry bliss (nsfw)

the part 2 to strawberry sweet ❤️

summary: miguel loves using his strength on you ;)) and this little snippet of you guys watching a replay of his recent game shows just that, with some sweet lil fluff and playful banter :)) and then miguel fucks u so good he hits your factory reset and you go back to being a lil shy babie around him oh no :3

tw: he also finds out you have a daddy kink, mention of shane dawson (derogatory), mention of physical violence (bros a wrestler what did you expect), overstimulation, a bit of breeding kink, heavy praise kink, a bit of humiliation but on the sweet side

A/N: this takes place about a year or so after strawberry sweet, where miguel and reader are in an established relationship and make quippy cute banter with each other

A/N # 2: pls reblog so we can turn more ppl into whores 💖

💕 hope you enjoy! 

===

"BABYY THE COMMERCIALS ARE OVER!"

Miguel runs from the bathroom and meets you in the kitchen, you with the tray of strawberry drinks squealing as he tickles your waist.

"AHH IT'S GONNA SPILL!!!" you scream, and he backs off, smiling as you regain your balance.

You balance the smoothie cups on the tray and move forward, but Miguel blocks your way. 

"M'scuse me, I have a game to watch," you pout up at him, but he doesn't budge.

"Mister, my boyfriend will be very angry if he finds out I'm late to the game >:( "

"Aww, such a shame, pretty girl... can't I just get a little kiss?"

"Let me through!"

"Can't, hermosa, you gotta say the password right up against my lips~ the password is mwah mwah mwah i love you miguel you're so handsome miguel~"

"You're cheesy," you roll your eyes, and he laughs as you set the tray down in front of the bed facing the TV. "I want the old Miguel back, he was cute and he had actual rizz."

He slumps against the couch. "The Miguel that was a total pervert over your old smoothie girl uniform?"

"Oh my gosh, I totally forgot about the uniform!" You giggle. "I hated it. Did you know on my first day they gave me a size too small and they had the audacity to try and gaslight me by saying I got fat?"

"Fucking weirdos," he pulled you into his arms, your back against his chest." Glad I got you out of that mess, mm?"

"It was just one mess into another, Mig, you made me your sugar baby," you tease, and his face scrunches up.

"Bebita, I may be rich but I'm not your sugar daddy. I'm just two years older than you."

"But think about it, I was sixteen when you were eighteen! Like- that's two years but the maturity difference is huge! That's creepy, Miguel. You wanna go to jail?"

"Ay, por dios. We're in our twenties, we met in our twenties. End of discussion. And I've already been to jail. Twice."

"What?!"

"Ay! ay! end of discussion. The match is starting," he pinches your nose then turns to watch the TV just as the host's opening spiel ends. Miguel feels you sit up in his grip when the crowds on the TV cheer as he comes up on screen, flashing a grin to the audience.

"Ew, who's that?" you mumble, cheeks stuffed with popcorn and Miguel snorts, rolling his eyes.

"That's me, your boyfriend, the guy who's gonna absolutely obliterate downgraded Shane Dawson in about..." he snaps his fingers just as his opponent comes out on screen. "Fifty-eight seconds."

"I really don't see the resemblance, Miggy, you're just being a bully."

"Y'know," he pulls you closer, absentmindedly kissing your neck as he feels you squirm in his hold. "I don't get how you let the physical violence slide but I compare some white guy to Shane Dawson and you call me a bully."

Your face heats up a little, and you turn away, mumbling shyly. "C-cause you look really badass when you throw them around like that... "

"Mmm?" he teases, nuzzling his nose in your neck. "I do?"

He feels you freeze up and chuckles, his hands trailing down to your thighs.

"Y-yeah," you whisper... "a bit..."

"Oh, and you like how strong I am, hmm? Is that what it is?"

It's cute how you shake your head and brush his hands away to turn up the volume on the TV, when he just goes right back to kneading your breasts and riling you up.

"Querida, you gotta answer me, y'know I can't understand you when you mumble like that~"

"What was the question?" you mumble, looking up at him with what he knows for sure are the most adorable bunny eyes he's ever fucking seen.

"I said," he nibbles down on your ear with a little growl, "do you get off like a cute little bunny when I show off? Is my baby that kinky~?"

" I-I... maybe..." you twitch as his fingers toy with your nipples. "Miggy, please..."

"Please what baby? Please stop or please give me more?" 

Miguel knows the answer, obviously. It's just that he can't get over the fact that he landed the prettiest girl with the cutest stutter when she's nervous.

"Please..." you whisper.

He chuckles against your ear, leaning in and lowering his voice just the way he knows you like it, especially when he's buried all the way inside you.

"Please what."

The tiniest gasp comes out of your lips. "Please... please f-fuck me... please?" 

Before you can even finish, you're over his shoulder and on the bed as he kisses everywhere on your face, growling at the inconvenience of the fact that he cant hold you still and fondle your chest at the same time.

"M-Miguel..." you whimper, twitching in sensitivity. "You're always teasing me..."

"Oh?" he mocks you, flipping you over on your stomach and gripping your hips, leaning in real slow to drawl darkly in your ear. "I'm the tease here? When you're shaking your little ass all over me? You rile me up like this and expect me not to fuck you the way you deserve? hmm?"

"S-Sorry..." you mumble, and Miguel laughs breathily, having the time of his life making you all shy and embarrassed.

"S'okay, baby, you just gotta make up for it, yeah?"

With a playful swat to your ass, he rips off your shorts and his fingers tease your folds through your panties.

"Miguel..."

"Yes...?" he kisses the arch in your back, smirking when your thighs tremble.

"Please hurry..." you gasp.

"Don't worry baby, you'll be asking me to slow down real soon~" 

===

His favorite sight of all time is you underneath him, with that blissed out look on your face and your chest heaving as he fucks every choked breath out of those pretty lips.

"Fuck, bebita," he whispers. "Creaming all over my fingers like the cute little plaything you are?"

You whimper, closing your thighs shakily, but his free hand just forces your legs apart and he curls his two fingers in you, tickling your pussy and making his hand even wetter.

"Hmm? What did you say?" Miguel mumbles close to your ear, and makes sure that at the precise moment you try to speak he speeds up his fingers, making your words melt away in warm red pleasure as more juices coat his fingers.

"S'too much..."

"Bebita, you asked for this," he whispers darkly. "We're not even halfway done."

You mewl out his name and turn your head to the side. He takes it as an opportunity to bite down on your neck and relish in the high-pitched pleasure drunk squeal that forces out of you as your little pussy sucks in his fingers.

"Shit. I can't take it anymore," he grumbles, his fingers moving even faster as he leans closer, forcing you flat against the bedsheets as you moan and cream all over his fingers like a cute little bunny, just too pleasure-drunk to utter even a word.

"Come for me baby," Miguel almost begs. "Come for me so I can fuck you the way I know you want me too, okay?"

You gasp at his dirty talk, and he laughs at the fact that you never stop getting shy when he says these things.

Or when your little pussy makes those wet noises when you're really really close.

"Fuck you're so cute," Miguel grins, licking the tears falling from your hazy eyes. "So sweet, letting me do whatever I want with you~ Come for me, gatita, you know you want to~"

Your moans make him grin and he thumbs at your sensitive little bud. His teasing sends you over the edge and you gasp and whimper, clinging onto him as he helps you through your third orgasm.

When you come down from it, Miguel is smirking down at you, and licking his fingers clean of your juices, humming lowly as his tongue traces his long fingers sensually.

"Wanna taste it right off your pretty pussy baby," he whispers, making you blush. "But I'll save that for later~"

He really means he'll save it for when you're too fucked out to close your pretty legs around his head.

Miguel kisses your hips as he flips you over again, tracing his rough hands over your ass and thighs, making you shiver and mumble something he almost can't hear.

"Daddy..."

His wandering hands freeze.

He grins.

"What was that?" he teases.

Your breath stutters.

"What- I-"

He leans in dangerously close, pinning you down on the bed with your ass right against his throbbing hard cock.

"What did you just call me?" he drawls, and you whimper.

"I-I called you Daddy," you bury your head in the pillows. "S-Sorry... if it makes you uncomfortable-"

Miguel thrusts his hips forward, sinking halfway into your wet, warm little cunt. The squelching of your little hole is nothing compared to the pure, unadulterated, sinful noise of pleasure that leaves your lips.

"Oh," Miguel groans. "That made me reallyfuckin' uncomfortable alright."

Your thighs shake as he sinks in really really slowly, making sure you feel every inch of him stretch you out.

"Say it again."

You gasp, tears forming in your eyes. "It's embarrassing..."

"Fuck, you really have to do all these things that make you so lovable, huh?" He groans, pulling your wrists and holding your arms behind your back. "Got the cutest little face, the cutest little pussy, and you always got these little kinks that make you so cute~"

He starts moving his hips, making you slur out his name and clench around him.

"My cute little milkshake girl, doing all these cute things for me and no one else," he whispers, and you nod helplessly,

Miguel runs his hands up and down your waist, making you sigh and whimper into the pillows.

"Wanna repeat what you said? No one's around, baby, just you and me. No need to be shy~"

"Daddy..."

"Fuck, you really are such the perfect little cutie, aren't you?" Miguel teases, pounding you harder.

It's music to his ears when you finally get to that stage of it, just uncontrollably whimpering and moaning and making all these noises of pleasure as you let him do whatever he wants to you.

"C'mon, say it again, another time won't hurt~"

"Such a t-tease..." you whine, and he chuckles fondly, pressing a kiss to your sensitive neck.

"Sorry, baby, not my fault you're so fucking adorable," he groans, shuddering when you clench down on him. "Daddy's close, baby, wanna come with me? Feel good together, hmm? Can you even understand me you dumb little baby?"

Miguel coos as you take in high-pitched breaths and gasps. Your tiny fists clench the sheets shakily, and your thighs thump helplessly with every thrust of his hips.

"Come back to me, baby," he whispers as his thrusts get sloppier. "Help me out one list time, kay? Wanna be my good girl?"

"Mhm..."

"Ah," he laughs. "Daddy broke his pretty baby so bad? Sorry, gatita, you just feel too good. Let's come together, okay? I'll get us there, baby~"

You whimper loudly one last time, creaming helplessly around his cock. Miguel pins your back down onto the bed, leaning in and growling right against your ear as his orgasm takes over as well, making sure you take every bit of his cum inside you.

The twitching of your thighs finally slows as Miguel pulls out, turning you onto your back and lightly running his hands up your thighs, waist, and breasts, kneading them softly and eliciting a whine from your lips.

"So sensitive," he pinches your nipple, making you gasp. "But I'll keep my hands to myself... for now."

You blush at those words, nuzzling into his neck as he chuckles at your bashfulness.

"Didn't know my good little girl had a Daddy kink. So cute," he whispers. "Got the sweetest little baby all to myself~."

Miguel brushes his lips against yours, smiling when he tastes a hint of strawberry,

His second favorite sweet thing in the goddamn world.

"Oh, baby~" he coos. "You felt so fucking good. Can we go again, gatita?"

You whimper, twitching helplessly, and blushing at the feeling of his fingers toying with the cum trickling down your thighs.

But you don't say no.

#atsv miguel #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara smut #miguel o’hara smut #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel spiderverse #miguel spiderman #miguel x reader #spiderman 2099 #clndstnlki's strawberry sweet saga

[xythlia]

› satoru x reader snippet inspired by missed connections from old forums

› sfw, small angst, cigarette smoking

You'd met on the train one evening, the exact time eludes you now but you'd been headed home after a particularly grueling workday.

He'd sat beside you, as if it was the most easy action in the universe. You quickly learned everything was like that for him. At first you ignored the closeness as everyone does when a stranger sits beside them, eyes glued to your phone screen and only occasionally sneaking glances at them out of curiosity.

But try as you might to seem aloof he was without a doubt the most beautiful stranger you'd ever laid eyes on, alabaster hair and even with his eyes partially obscured by tinted sunglasses you could tell they were storybook blue: the color so rare it may as well only exist in pages. Still, you'd kept your gaping to a minimum so as to not make him second guess sitting beside you.

Quickly you noticed your phone dying, three percent left, and rummaged in your bag for the little charger you always took with you to and from work. Funnily enough it seemed he had the same problem, and within seconds you were locking eyes, chargers in hands, and it was like the whole world became quiet. No wind from the trains speed, no murmuring from the other passengers, just a blissful sudden silence as you lost yourself in those eyes.

"Sorry, but I think it's mine."

You'd blinked back at him emptily, like a fish on dry land for a second before collecting yourself. The plug was situated between your seats, and something about it made you giggle.

"How close is it to being dead?" You'd asked.

He quirked a brow but indulged you. "Ten percent."

"Got you beat, three percent." You fidgeted with the cord in your hands, "how about we split time? Ten each?"

He offered you an easy smile. "Sure, where are you headed?" He slipped his phone back in his jacket pocket as you plugged yours in.

"Nowhere special, just home."

"Hm, homes pretty special, don't you think?"

You smiled and it struck you that you'd already smiled more in the last five minutes with him than you had all day.

"Maybe you're right, but don't you have a home you take for granted a little bit?" You asked, meeting those aquamarine eyes again.

He huffed out a small laugh. "I guess I do, yeah."

It was so easy to be taken in by him, before you knew it the entire ride had passed by marked by easy, comfortable conversation and his occasional flirty quip that left you averting your eyes and feeling warm beneath your scarf.

"Sorry, I never shared the charger." You genuinely did feel bad for forgetting, too caught up in his strangely comfortable, magnetic aura.

"No big deal," he said stretching his arms behind his head. "But you can make it up to me, if you want?"

You eyed him with faux suspicion, meeting his playful gaze. "How so?"

He grinned so brightly, cultivating more of that strange warm feeling in your chest. "Meet me back here again? Same line, same time. Wait for the train on the 31st."

"I don't even know your name."

"Satoru," he said, "will you meet me again?"

You didn't even stop to consider it, the answer came without you even thinking about it.

"Yes."

-

The cherry of your cigarette glowed in the dark as you leaned against the railing of your apartment's balcony and you're drawn out of the memory as you take a deep drag. You never did meet him again, not on the train, not anywhere. Putting your trust in the grand plan of the universe you hadn't even exchanged mobile numbers, only the belief that the other would be there sustained you.

But sometimes a grand romantic plan isn't enough.

#jjk #gojo satoru #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #jjk x you #jjk angst #jjk drabbles #gojo x you #gojo angst #jujutsu kaisen x you

[nanamikentoseyebags]

You're once in any lifetime

will you be mine for eternity?

pairing: satoru gojo x gn!reader

content: fluff, comfort, kisses and jokes, proposal, snippets of domestic life with the strongest

a/n: dear anon, thank you so much for this wonderful request i've been giggling the entire time while working on it! hope you like it 💛

6 hours. 6 hours of non-stop shopping, winding through narrow streets and searching for something interesting, beautiful and delicious. In that exact order. That was the usual weekend routine for Gojo Satoru, aka the World's Strongest, aka a little kid who apparently had one main dream in life: to buy up everything that caught his eye.

It was supposed to be a quiet and peaceful Sunday morning, that rare moment when one could behold a truly great wonder –sleeping Satoru, wrapped in a green fuzzy blanket, with his snow-white hair tousled, his eyelashes fluttering slightly, and a trickle of saliva from his open mouth that had already dripped onto the pillow. Not everyone was lucky enough to see him in his own habitat, appearing so defenseless and vulnerable, like a red-listed animal in need of protection and care. He never lost the opportunity to remind you that you were the lucky one to wake up to see such a marvelous sight in front of you as him.

But today the day didn't start so wonderfully, or to be more precise, not it the slightest so: being literally torn out of the realm of sleep by his icy hands, which shamelessly encircled your ankles and were eagerly pulling you off the bed with an unprecedented force for the defenseless and vulnerable, you cried out in surprise feeling the coldness that came over your body in a wave.

"Satoru!" you managed to grab the headboard at the last moment, and now you were trying to wrench your leg from his icy grasp, "what the hell are you doing?!"

"I'm waking you up," a pearly white smile shone on the face of the unscrupulous intruder of your sleep, "time to get up, sleepyhead, otherwise we'll sleep through all the fun," sky-blue eyes glimmered with lights of mischief and in a second his fingers were already tickling your feet.

You squealed, yanking your legs furiously, desperately hoping to get out of his tenacious grip and kick him so he'd never think of waking you up like that ever again. Well, the plan worked. To your own surprise the Strongest was defeated by a precise kick of your heel right in his ribs, and making the sound of a dying whale, he jumped up from the bed, holding his side.

"Did you take karate classes while I was away?" he exhaled, rubbing the injured spot.

"Yeah, got my black belt for just such occasions," you finally sat up on the bed, tucking your legs under the blanket and smoothing back your sleep-tangled hair, "and what fun could we possibly have slept through, huh?"

Satoru's painful grimace was immediately replaced by his usual bright smile, as if he hadn't been pretending to be a wounded warrior a second ago, "shopping!" echoed loudly throughout the apartment, making you cringe.

"Well what is the fun in that," you mumbled, rubbing your eyes and stretching, "my dreams were quite fun until you disturbed them."

"Don't be so booooring," he sang, "besides, everything's already waiting for you" Satoru pulled out two hangers from behind his back, on which two prepared and ironed outfits for today were waiting in the wings. Looking at his beaming face, it was hard to tell him no, and he knew it perfectly well.

And for 6 hours straight, you looped through ornate streets decorated with colorful storefronts, filled with hundreds of people rushing about their business. You could barely feel your feet, somewhere in the back of your mind regretting that you had agreed to this adventure at all, knowing that Satoru certainly wouldn't get tired until he found the very sweets he remembered nothing about but had once tasted somewhere.

To be honest, you had other plans that required a more relaxed and peaceful ambience, but the sheer joy of Satoru put all thoughts on the back burner, replacing them with a pleasant tingle in your chest that made your heart beat faster every time he turned his ruffled, snow-white head to make sure you were holding on tightly to his big hand with your little fingers as he led you through the crowd of people.

Such small but so meaningful details never passed you by, and each time you were convinced that you could never have found a better man than this tall, annoying, but so beloved dummy.

"'Wanna get some cotton candy, sweets?" Gojo led you out onto a less crowded street, now walking beside you and swinging your intertwined hands.

"I would love some,"you smiled, nodding, inwardly pleased that the shopping seemed to be coming to an end.

"Gimme a sec," you walked over to a small wagon where he bought a huge cotton candy bar, so huge that it completely covered your face as you began to chew it, "fank you," you murmured, savouring the sweetness on your tongue.

"You're felcome," he mimicked you, nibbling off a couple bits and putting them in his mouth, making you giggle and nudge him lightly with your shoulder.

You wandered quietly along the embankment, listening to the sound of the gentle waves, feeling the breeze lightly ruffling your hair. You were silent, genuinely enjoying each other's company, talking only with your eyes and smiling involuntarily, as if these six years that you had been together had never happened and you both had just met. The sun was slowly slipping toward sunset, letting itself stare at you at least a little longer, gently stroking your smiling faces with its golden rays. You stopped at the small fence separating the promenade from the water and quietly watched the sky sink into the boundless embrace of the sea, merging into a one pastel-colored expanse, going far, far away, to a place where we had never been.

"Look," a sudden loud voice snapped you out of your thoughts, making you flinch and turn in the direction Satoru was pointing his finger at.

"What's there?" you squinted, looking into the distance and trying to see anything, "I don't..." you turned back, seeing a sight that rendered you speechless.

Satoru was on one knee, his glasses no longer covering his magical eyes that were darting across your surprised face, but resting on his head, in his large palm lay a velvet box with a neat ring adorned with little stones shimmering in the light of the setting sun.

"Y/n..." something that sounded like a quiet croak escaped his lips, causing him to cough, his already flushed cheeks turning scarlet before he continued, "will you marry me?"

You covered your mouth with your hand, struggling to hold back the laughter that burst out of you.

"What are you doing?" Satoru tilted his head, "are you laughing at me?" he gasped, pretending to be hurt by your reaction, "when I'm kneeling here in front of you?"

"No, no, no, no," you shook your head, clearing your throat softly and pulling a small velvet box out of your purse, "I thought you wouldn't ask, so... uh...," you laughed harder, seeing his already large eyes widen.

"So, will you marry me, Satoru gojo," you uttered, trying to calm down and holding out a delicate golden band.

"I think so," he grinned, graciously holding out his hand so you could slip the ring onto his finger, "and what will your decision be, dear Y/n"

"More likely yes than no" you giggled, feeling the pleasant coldness of the gold metal on your finger at the same second.

Satoru reached up, pulling you closer to him and with the loudest mwah possible, smacking your lips, "looks like you're stuck with me for eternity, sweets," he smirked contentedly, taking your face in his hands and pinching your cheeks.

"Looks like it, but I'm ashamed to admit it, I don't seem to mind," you giggled, poking his nose and engaging him in the most tender kiss, promising for eternity with every movement of your lips.

thank you so much for reading 💛 comments and reblogs are always appreciated ✨

tags: @rossithepixie @a-nuisance-called-sam @the-mom-friend-dot-com @vagabond-umlaut

#gojo satoru #satoru gojo #jjk gojo #satoru x reader #jjk satoru #gojo satoru fluff #satoru fluff #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo imagine #gojo drabbles

[dumbass-tumbler-cryptid]

(regarding the snippet)

Quaritch when stroking Spider's hair after he had a panic attack when he touched it doesn't help: 😦

My blood pressure went up reading this (I can't wait even more now, thanks)

I take that as a complement 😈

Here, to calm your blood pressure take a fluffy snippet of Spider getting his braids done by Neytiri Mo'at and Kiri (before y'a know Quaritch destroys them)

******************************************************************

“Spider,” Neytiri called, “would you like to have your hair braided.”

    Some of his typical anxiousness creeped its way in at the prospect but it was nowhere near as intense as it had been that morning. “Sure.”

    “Sit,” Neytiri waved to the spot by her feet. Spider sat, his back supported by the couch. On either side of Neytiri were Mo’at and Kiri, ready to help. “What would you like?”

   Spider shrugged, “surprise me.”

   “Can I go get my beads mama,” Tuk asked excitedly.

   “I already have some,” Mo’at said, taking a pouch from her pocket. “I’ve had these made for  some time now.” Spider felt his heart swell, “you are quite the stubborn boy,” She leaned down to meet his eye with a wry smile. Spider couldn’t help but smile back.

     Neytiri’s fingers racked through his hair. He couldn’t help his nerves from crying out, making him tense. But as Neytiri continued he focused on the sensation, focused on how nice it felt as Mo’at and Kiri joined in. Seze trotted towards him, jumping onto his lap and stretching up to touch her nose to his. He giggled at the cat, petting her as she settled,curling into a ball, purring contentedly. 

    “One of us, one of us…” Lo’ak chanted as he watched the style take shape.

     Spider huffed a laugh, “what, am I getting the Sully brother special.”

     Kiri scoffed, “we’d never let you look that bad.”

     “Hey,” the brothers, Neytiri and Mo’at all exclaimed. The others all laughed.

      Spider settled into the moment all worries fading away to nothing. He felt light- more free and content then he could ever remember. Surrounded by a lively happy family. Openly talking and laughing. He couldn’t believe he had really gotten to this point. Never had he allowed himself to even hope for something like this and yet it had happened as easily as puzzle pieces falling into place.

     “We are done,” Mo’at announced. Spider patted his head to feel the style before seeing it. The top half of his hair was pulled back by a series of braids, the other half left down with little braids here and there, the ends decorated with the multi-colored beads Mo’at had carved for him. He got up to go look at himself in the hallway mirror again. Spider took in his image stunned. When he was little he had always imagined himself as a mighty warrior like the ones from the stories Norm would tell him. He looked like that mighty warrior now, strong, confident, capable.      

One of us, one of us. Lo’ak had been joking but his words rang true. Spider looked like he belonged. A large grin stretched across his face, a relieved little laugh escaping his lips. He belonged. He really finally belonged.

******************************************************************

Anyway I really hope you all enjoy the second prologue knowing what comes after it 😘

#miles spider socorro #spider socorro #cabin in the woods #avatar fanfiction

[rookfeatherrambles]

I guess this is what I do now. Another fic snippet upon you (Jonelias this time)

It's called The Red string of fate (can go fuck itself)

Tldr: this is a fic where an organization and an algorithm basically determines who you are partnered to based on genetics and traits. Jon is ace and identifies as a man, and has been fighting the system, requesting an exception to the pairing program, though it's the law for every afab person to have at least one child, he wants zero. Zip. Nada. And on the day he goes in for the 5th time to ask for an exception, he learns he's been matched and is no longer eligible. His new 'destiny' is someone named Elias Bouchard. (Elias isn't evil and this isn't an abusive dynamic in this fic, pointing that out in advance) ANYWAY HAVE JON AND HIS FRIENDS COMMISERATING WITH HIM OVER COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF ALCOHOL.

"This is such bullshit!" Melanie King slammed her hand down onto the bar table suddenly, and Jon jumped. She immediately pulled it back. "I'm sorry, Jon, but it is!"

"I agree with Mel," Jon's other friend, Tim Stoker said severely. He swirled his drink in his glass before frowning and looking at Jon. "You've been in there four times already, and it's only now they've decided to pair you off? Something's fishy." Beside him, a pretty woman with a mess of curly dark hair was staring intently at her phone. After a moment, she huffed.

"I can't find anything on 'Elias Bouchard' on Yowler or Unlinked. The man is a ghost."

Sasha James, Jon's third friend and partner of Tim's, sighed and set her phone down on the table before picking up her glass. "That's not a good sign."

Jon groaned.

Tim tapped at his glass thoughtfully. "Maybe he's just not big on social media?"

Jon groaned louder, dropping his head into his arms. "Or he's a serial killer." Melanie offered, unhelpfully.

"Or that," Tim conceded. "You okay, Jon? You're melting off the table."

Jon lifted his head a little, eyes dull. "It doesn't matter what he's like," he said hopelessly. "I don't want this. I never have."

Melanie’s expression softened, and she reached over and patted Jon's back. "We know, man. We know. We're here for you."

Sasha slid over an unopened bottle of stout. "Here. Or you can get something stronger, it's on me and Tim."

Melanie sat up, picked up her drink and cocked her head. "I never got how you two just happened to match together. Tim, you're gorgeous but you’re a different, opposing alignment then Sasha. How’d this happen? Spill.”

Sasha and Tim exchanged mischievous looks. “We rigged the system,” Tim said abruptly.

“You what? How?” Melanie leaned forwards, eyeing the pair of them with disbelief and incredulity. “There’s no way. Tell me everything.”

Sasha grinned widely. “Well, me and Tim were friends for ages… and we decided a long time ago that we didn’t want to be split up if the system matched us to other partners. So…” She paused for dramatic effect. “I hacked the system!”

Tim devolved into snorting laughter, but Melanie swore. “Get the fuck out. There’s no way! It's not possible.”

“Yeah,” Tim said eventually, coming up from his giggles. “We paid someone on the inside to fudge the paperwork. God, Mel, you’re hilarious. Never change.”

Despite Jon’s atrocious start to the day, his evening was relatively pleasant, spent around friends who cared for him and wanted to see him happy.

“They’re going to send me the whole package,” he moaned, after his n’th drink. “It's going to have his photo, and all of his information. Do they realize how incredibly unnatural this all is? My apparent life partner, matched to me by an algorithm?”

“And genetics,” Tim added, swirling the beer in his glass. “Don’t forget that the whole reason for it all is to produce healthy offspring. In an age of birth decline,” He changed his voice, mimicking one of the LION’s top representatives. Everyone at the table had seen the video and the air was filled with groans, but Tim kept going. “We must all do our part to ensure our unique traits survive the test of time. That’s why -”

“Don’t say it,” Jon moaned, head thunking down on the table. He was well and truly inebriated, but it wasn’t enough. “Don’t even say it.” He pushed his half full beer away from him, no longer interested in it.

“It is fucked up,” Melanie agree, helping herself to Jon’s abandoned drink. “If you think about it, really think about it, this is a dystopia. Like, seriously. We’re living in a society.”

Sasha made a face, then leaned her head over onto Tim’s shoulder. “Mel, I love you, but I’m way too drunk to talk politics right now.”

The rest of the evening was a smeary, drunken blur for Jon. He woke up the next day in his bed with a terrible hangover and a feeling of dread settled deep in his gut.

#the magnus archives #jonathan sims #elias bouchard #tma #jonelias #eugenics #i just am nibbling at all my different AU's so expect a lot of random bullshit over the next week or so. #i have no schedule or rhyme to this madness #i'm simply creating #red string au #rook writes

[rhoorl]

✏️ WIP Update ✏️

Thank you @trulybetty for the tag!

So, I am writing a few different things at the same time (why? I don't know). But I have a couple of different snippets below. I'm not sure when I'll get around to publishing things. I hoped to use these last couple of weeks of the year to try and get ahead in my fics, but work and life have been busy. Anyways, more stuff below the cut:

Delta Landscaping - Episode 12 snippet featuring Tio Frankie

“Hey Frank, I’m gonna run out while Vale is in the shower, gonna pick up some donuts. Maybe it will cheer up Antonio before you leave,” Alyssa pouted as she grabbed her crossbody and keys. “The kids are really going to miss you.”  Frankie sighed and leaned against the kitchen counter, “I know. I’m gonna miss them too. We have to get you all out to Florida soon.” “I’d like that. We all would,” she walked over and patted her brother-in-law on the arm with a tight smile. “Ok, I’ll be back. Neither of them should wake up for a while so you can relax for a bit. Got everything packed?” “Ha, thanks Lys. Yeah, I’m all set.” He turned and opened the cabinet to pull out a mug and start brewing some coffee. He was about to sit on the couch and play a game on his phone when he heard crying. It wasn’t like Leia’s crying, it was a bit more muffled. Walking down the hallway he still heard the water running in Valeria’s room. As he stood outside Antonio’s door, he heard it. Softly opening the door, he saw Antonio sitting in his bed with his back to the door, huddled over and crying.

Working Title - Dieter Bravo Ch. 18 snippet

As you all walked through the lobby and back toward the elevators you heard a familiar face call out your name. Turning around you see Indy and Sam walking towards you, arm in arm, and all smiles.  “B!” Indy squealed, dropping Sam’s hand and running toward you to give you a big hug.  “Hey Ind, you look like you had a good time,” you pulled back with a smirk. “Very,” she looked you up and down and then quickly back to Dieter who greeted Sam with a handshake. “Looks like you did too huh?” She whispered, giggling when you gave her a quick nod. “Ah, Indy! How was our trip?” Rhys came up behind you.  “Great, Rhys. You seem in a good mood, what’s up?” “Ah, actually, can I talk to you. Both of you?” He motioned toward the hallway. “Uh, you’re being weird but ok,” she shrugged and headed off.  As he led you away, you turned around and gave DIeter a small smile which he reciprocated along with a wave.

Turbulence Part Two - Frankie one-shot which turned into a two-parter (or more?)

“Hmm. Interesting. You’ll have to tell your aunt I said hello,” he winked. “So, who’s your friend,” he motioned over to Frankie. “Oh, him? He’s my husband,” I said matter-of-factly. Apparently, I was more convincing than I gave myself credit for because Mac’s eyes bulged out of his head. I could hear the soft chuckles coming from Frankie. “I’m just kidding. But he did play my husband for a hot second. There was a creep on the plane trying to sit next to me and Frankie here saved the day,” I looked over to him with a wink. If I didn’t know better it looked like Frankie was blushing a bit. He brought his hand to the back of his neck and scratched his neck, ruffling the curls that poked out from under his cap. 

Pickled Peña - Just a little tease. I'm excited to see what everyone does with this writing challenge.

But the “old man” still had it and managed to pull the glances of several women at the bar, including the bartender who had practically eye fucked him all night. That's part of the reason why he lost track of time. She decided to spend her break with him in a bathroom. Coincidentally, buried inside this woman was how he rang in the new year.  Back in his car, he rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palm and sighed. He knew he was about to be read the riot act and all he wanted to do was go to sleep, already knowing he was about to have the worst hangover.

#wip update #wip wednesday #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal character fanfic

[subtlehaz]

if this has been said already I’m so sorry but you know what I would LOVE? absolutely froth at the mouth for? is if we get a little montage teaser of Buck and Eddie respectively stumbling into their homes, and all you see are snippets of their faces hands mouths belts fingers feet - nothing too wide shot though. The viewer assumes it’s them with partners (perhaps implied Nat/ Marisol as we were left with last season) but, again, all we see are the close ups, nothing too revealing except for Buck/ Eddie’s faces every now and then but no clear shot of their partners. You see them fumbling with clothes and giggling and maybe a meeting of lips but! NO CLOSE UP! It’s implied the viewer must already know who it is. Even better if this montage is at the start of the episode.

The episode continues on and maybe we see Buck and Eddie giggly/ texting. Running off to answer the phone (kind of like how Buck was when he got a therapist and everyone thought it was a gf). We see messages sent but not the contact name, or maybe a contact name that’s just a pet name or a nickname. Maybe the 118 even starts teasing them about their relationships etc. Then at the very end of the episode there’s a call back to the montage, or maybe not, but either way there’s finally a wide shot that reveals MUAH big kiss between! You guessed it! Buck and Eddie! Together! Kissing EACH OTHER!

Anyway I’m sure we’ll be lucky if Buddie goes canon /at all/ but if they do…. I wanna see it like this.

#a girl can dream #😌 #no but fr I think that would be so fun #and the episode ends with the reveal #and all the viewers are left with a bit of a cliff hanger losing their minds #I for one would be screaming at the screen #and then maybe the next episode the rest of the cast finds out #or maybe it’s still a secret between Buck/ Eddie and the viewers for a few more episodes #either way #tell me I’m wrong #tell me this wouldn’t slap #buddie #9-1-1

[actualalligator]

WIP Wednesday

This is a snippet from "If I Lead, Will You Follow?" This feels so slow going rn. I feel like this is all I wanted to write when I started it, but my inspiration has stalled. Maybe getting more out into the universe will help. It's a longer snippet, so I'm gonna put it under a cut. Thank you @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad for tagging me 🩵

Eddie walked back into the living room and sat on the couch with his beer. If Buck was good at complicated legos, then he could have at it. Eddie was more than happy to sit back and drink his beer. 

As if he could read his mind, Christopher looked up at him. “Buck's way better at this than you, Dad.” 

Buck choked back a laugh. Eddie threw a half-hearted glare his way. 

“That's not very nice, bud,” Buck said after a second. “I'm sure your dad is plenty good.” 

Christopher's eyebrows drew together, and he shook his head. 

“What's parenthood if you're not being bullied by your own kid?” Eddie asked, voice soft enough that Christopher probably didn't register it. It got a soft huff of laughter from Buck, though. Eddie liked that sound a lot. “Buck can be your lego buddy from now on.” 

“Good,” said Christopher. “I thought I'd never get the Mars Rover finished.” 

“We may not finish this tonight “ Buck replied, looking through the instructions. 

“You can come back tomorrow,” Christopher said, and the way he said it sounded like it was just a given. Of course, Buck would come back again the next night to build legos with him.  

Buck frowned down at the instructions. “Well, I have to work tomorrow, buddy, but maybe I can come over the next time I'm off.” 

Christopher squinted up at Buck. “When is that?” and his tone was close enough to a demand that it made Eddie sit up a little straighter. 

“Ay, mijo. We have to be kind to our friends or they won't want to come and play,” he said, and he never raised his voice with Christopher, not like his dad had done with him, but he was firm. 

Christopher paused for a second, maybe to consider what he would say next, but his tone was much softer when he finally did speak. “When can you come back and play legos with me again, Buck?” 

“I'm off on Monday,” Buck says. 

Christopher looked at Eddie. “Dad, can Buck come over on Monday?” 

“I work on Monday,” Eddie said softly. He didn't want to let his kid down. “You're going to go to Abuela’s before and after school, and I won't pick you up until after you're asleep.”  

“Oh.” Christopher's little slumped shoulders were exactly what Eddie didn't want. 

Buck glanced between them. He pulled out his phone. Seconds later, Eddie's phone buzzed in his pocket. 

Buck: I could watch him after school on Monday. 

Eddie looked at the text, then at Buck. He appreciated that the offer had come as a text. They were still new to each other. But Eddie was surprised to find that he wanted to say yes. He trusted Buck already. And it would be nice to get to come right home after a twelve-hour shift and for Christopher to fall asleep in his own bed. 

“Maybe Buck can hang out with you after school here until I get home,” Eddie said. “You will have to promise me that you'll listen to Buck and you'll go to bed when he says it's time.”

Christopher's face lit up. “Yes, please! I promise!”

Buck was smiling too. “You'll have to let me know what you want for dinner, bud,” he said.

Christopher leaned forward with a very serious expression on his face. “Can you make grilled cheese? Dad always burns them.”

“Captain Nash, your dad’s boss, taught me how to make the best grilled cheese in the whole world,” Buck replied. He poked through the lego pieces in the bin and handed one to Christopher. “Do you like tomato soup?”

Christopher nodded. “Dad can make that pretty okay. We eat it with quesadillas sometimes. Those are usually okay.”

“Tomato soup and quesadillas can both be cooked in the microwave just fine,” Eddie said. “But we have good dinners too, mijo. Right? Like when we had spaghetti last week. That was good.”

Chris giggled and nodded again. “We had chicken nuggets with cheese in our spaghetti! It was the best I've ever had!”

“Oh yeah?” Buck asked. He glanced back at Eddie for a second before picking up the next piece of their build. “Maybe I can join you next time because I've never had that. And I love spaghetti and chicken nuggets.”

“Yeah. I'll call you,” Christopher replied, taking the piece and sticking it on.

Buck chuckled. “You've got my number?”

“Dad does. He lets me call Grandma and Abuelo,” Christopher said with a wave of his hand.

“Perfect. As soon as you know your dad has spaghetti on the menu, call me right up,” Buck told him. He handed him one more piece and closed the instructions. “I have to go start the chicken. We will have to pick this up after dinner."

No pressure tagging and anybody else who wants to share! I wanna read your WIPs!

@lochnesswriter @friendly-chaos @malewifediaz

#buddie #writing #911 fanfic #buck's easy friendship with Christopher gives me life

[can-youimagine]

Starting New (Aaron Hotchner x Reader)

Summary: You and Aaron make your way to Virginia

Word Count: 493

Part of my Snippets of a Man in Love series!

 Masterlist | Series Masterlist

The sound of The Beatles’ white album fills the car. Slowly stirring awake, you look out the window. “Where are we?”

Glancing over at you, Aaron smiles. He swears you are never more beautiful than when you’re sleepy. “Just passed through Cleveland.”

“So like half a day?”

He shrugs. “Probably. You’ve got the map.”

You panic, grabbing the paper that you had been using as a blanket. “Yeah, should be seven-ish hours.”

“I’ll probably only be able to drive for a few more hours,” he states. “Is there a city you’d like to make it to?”

“We can switch drivers when you get tired.”

He protests immediately, “We can take another day.”

Rolling your eyes, you counter, “You haven’t let me drive at all. Plus, I know you want to be there as much as I do. And, I’ve driven around the area much more than you have, so really, it would make the most sense for me to drive into Southbridge.”

He’s already given in, but he can’t stop himself from pointing out, “I grew up there, remember?”

“Do you? It’s been like a decade since you’ve been there.”

“Sure you aren’t the lawyer?” he jokes.

You giggle and smile victoriously. Reaching into the backseat, you grab the nearly empty container of cookies that you made before you left on your cross-country road trip. Despite Aaron telling you you didn’t need to make any food, you are quite certain he has had more of your snacks than you. He holds out his hand, ready for the cookie. 

“I know that this move is about you and everything, but I think I want to get my doctorate,” you confess.

“Really?” he asks, though with a full mouth it comes out rather jumbled. 

“Yeah, I mean, it’s practically the university capital of the country, and I’ve been looking at jobs in the area. Not that any of them require a doctorate, but it would certainly give me an edge. Plus, I could teach if I wanted to,” you explain.

“I’ll help you fill out the applications.”

Smiling widely, you settle into your seat. 

Aaron is thrilled that you are already trying to settle into the new place. You’ve lived in Washington state all your life. He knew it was a huge deal to ask you to move because he wanted a change, and he still secretly thinks that you are upset about the whole thing, but seeing how much you’ve planned it out makes him that much more comfortable.

As you cross the state line into Virginia, he stops at the welcome center, giving you a chance to stretch your legs for a little before switching drivers. 

As you drive through the streets of your new neighborhood, you begin to picture your new life there. Passing the elementary school, you imagine Aaron dropping your kids off for the first day and swearing he isn’t crying. God, you can’t wait for your future with him. 

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotch x you #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotch x reader #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x you

[therealgchu]

WIP Wednesday - Spa Day

i've actually got something queued up for friday already, but it's pretty short. so, instead you'll get this little snippet i wrote.

i got the idea after listening to a critical role mighty nein eps where they all go to the spa. i really don't get the point of spas, personally. i even had a $150 gift card to some swanky spa up in boulder, and i gave it to a friend of mine, instead. like hwa, i don't like to be touched by strangers, and sitting and doing nothing sounds like hell.

tagging the coemancer crew, @atonalginger, @toxiclizardwrites, @silurisanguine, @fangbangerghoul, @a-cosmic-elf, @eridanidreams, @aro-pancake, and anyone else i'm forgetting.

if you'd like to check out my fic from the beginning, it's living at ao3.

new vignette incoming friday, called You Ruined Everything in the Nicest Way.

We have fic sign!

Sam found Hwa engrossed at the weapons worktable modifying a shotgun firing mechanism to high powered. She was wearing magnifying goggles, as the work could be fiddly and delicate when altering the internals of any gun. He realized she hadn’t heard him come down, so stayed on the stairs just outside of the door. He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall to watch her. Her face was smudged with oil, her hair was sticking out in odd chunks from underneath the elastic band of the goggles; and the polish on her nails, presumably received at the spa, was gradually getting scraped away as she tinkered with the springs around the trigger release. When she paused and looked up, he asked, “Did you have fun at spa day?”

Hwa’s head whipped around and her expression was inscrutable, her mouth, if possible, was a weird squiggly line of part smiling, part frowning, and part confusion. “It was not an experience…I do not think it’s an experience I would choose to repeat,” she said slowly.

He chuckled knowingly, “I’m not surprised. It was nice of you to go, though. Did Cora have fun?”

She nodded, “But, I think she got bored by the end, too. And, it’s very difficult to read when you have slices of cucumber over your eyes. I’m not sure what the cucumber slices are for, however. So I ate mine.”

Sam choked, “You ate the cucumber slices?”

“What? I was hungry! There was no proper food, just … little cakes and pastries, and you know I don’t like that sort of thing. I could see no purpose that the cucumber slices were serving, so I ate them,” she shrugged.

He roared with laughter, shaking his head, “Oh my god, Hwa! I should have known!” He sat down on the stairs, clutching his stomach, tears streaming out of his eyes.

Hwa looked indignant, “I don’t know why you think it’s so funny. They were there. I was hungry. I ate them. It seemed a logical progression to me,” she pouted.

“I know,” he gasped between laughs, “logical progression. Right. Only you, Hwa.”

She started pouting in earnest, but turned back to her work, “If you’re going to make fun of me, you can leave me alone.”

Sam stood up, wiped his eyes and tried to get himself under control. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have laughed. At least not that hard.” He tried to suppress a giggle, but it escaped. She gave him a look. “Sorry! It slipped, OK?” He walked over and kissed her on the cheek as an apology. “So, other than vegetables, what did you think?” as he stood behind her looking over her shoulder.

Hwa paused and looked up again, staring at the wall. “Sarah and Noel called it “pampering”. If I wanted to be pampered, I’d have sex. I’m still trying to understand what was so pampering. Though, I did enjoy the sauna. Heat is always great for flexibility and I got to do some good stretching in there.”

It was a good thing she couldn’t see his face as it contorted into many forms as he tried not to burst out laughing again. “You know saunas are supposed to be for relaxing? You’re supposed to sit there, and ya know, relax,” he said in a slightly strangled tone.

“Why? That seems a waste.”

“You know what? You’re right,” he said after a couple seconds in the same strained tone.

She sighed, “You’re laughing at me again,” she said, frowning.

“No, I’m laughing behind you,” he said, finally losing control.

She grabbed a rag that was sitting on the workbench, turned and whacked his arm with it. “Jerk,” she said, pouting.

Sam laughed, softer this time, and gathered her in his arms, “Never change, love. Promise?”

#starfield #sam coe #fanfic #space husband #fanfiction #space cowboy #coemancer #hwa kim #to the shore #spacefarer

[wu-sisyphus-gang]

Motion Sickness Chapter 22 Snippet

“Who’s this Melanie?” A voice purred from behind me. A girl’s voice. I ignored it because ignoring women was my MO.

“I don’t know Miltiades, some new huntsman.”

“He’s decent looking.”

“Tall, too.”

I looked around. There were two girls looking at me. They had dark hair and pale green eyes. I looked them up and down. “Are you talking to me?” I wondered. It went against my MO. Explicitly, even. One had a pair of silver blades attached to white boots to match the overall ensemble of a white dress. The other had red claws strapped to her back. The red claws matched a tighter red dress than the girl in white who could only be a sister. Maybe a cousin if I was stretching.

They looked damn near identical, though, so I was really stretching. 

“Who else would we even be talking to?” I looked around, the girl in white made a fair point. There was nobody even close to me. They were to either side of me out in the open. 

“So what brings a huntsman like you down here?” The girl in red asked. 

“I’m with him.” I pointed to Qrow, not seeing any point to lying. I pushed him into this place afterall. Out in the open. “Need to get him back on his feet but we’re a little short on cash.”

“And what is he to you?” The girl in red asked.

“He’s not much to be completely and totally honest. Family of a friend,” I answered vaguely. “I didn’t catch your names.”

“I’m Melanie Malachite.” The girl in white introduced herself. “And this is-”

“Miltia.” The other finished. Malachite, like the woman in charge. Well I'd better be polite and not fuck things up. That was all the advice I’d been given. 

“Well, can I buy the two of you a drink? Or drinks, rather?” I doubted they would be sharing.

Instead they just giggled a little at me. Cute girls laughing at me was nothing new though and after a few years it meant surprisingly little. Girls like this tended to laugh like that. It would be better for my sanity if I didn’t take it personally.

“I thought you were short on cash.” Miltia returned, hiding her smile behind a hand and failing. Probably intentionally.

“Short on cash for a pair of legs. Not for three drinks.” I lifted my glass to my lips. It was already empty and the glass clinked around in no liquid. “Make that four drinks. What’ll you two have?”

“A white russian,” Miltia said.

“A hurricane.”

I ordered for them and another whiskey for me. Then I slid the red drink to the girl in white and the white drink to the girl in red. I was sixty percent sure they were fucking with me. Somehow. And it was totally working. They were messing with my head completely and totally and probably for kicks. 

But they took drinks from their cocktails with a familiarity that threw me off. Maybe they did drink these exact drinks a bit. I nursed my own, making sure to take it slower on my second glass of something straight. 

The last thing Qrow and I needed was for me to be wasted. 

"So where are you from?" Melanie pulled back from her red drink and bounced out the words. I hope she wasn't clumsy because that drink would stain like a nightmare on her white clothes. 

"Vale. I, uh, I used to go to Beacon." I took my weapons off my back and set them on the stool to my left. The stool on my right was occupied by Miltia. 

"We're from Vale too." Miltia said. 

"Not really the biggest fans of Beacon students but we can make an exception."

"Lucky me." I slipped. "Well the 'ex-Beacon student' is kinda important anyways. I left that place behind after the attack."

"We left with the collapse as well." Melanie added. 

"Decided it just wasn't safe enough." Miltia clarified. 

"Makes sense. I was out of there in a hurry myself. How did you two get here then?"

"Airship." Miltia informed me. 

"Our parents own several so we just flew." They  were sisters, then. 

"Must have been nice," I let myself grumble. The thought of my feet aching from walking ached. 

"Sounds like there's a story to how you got here." Miltia pressed. 

"I walked, rode horses, and took a train. Just extra steps comparatively. More monsters, you know?"

Melanie blinked. “You ride horses?”

“Well aren’t you a regular old fashioned knight.” She eyed me in my thick armor. She may be reading into my look and figuring some other things. They were all wrong but she was figuring some things.

"I had to learn on the way. It's not like that."

"Did Qrow Branwen teach you?"

"You two know Qrow?"

"We know about Qrow." Miltia corrected. 

"Some hunters are famous like that."

"Him and his sister are both well known but there are others too." 

"Winter Schnee, Glynda Goodwitch, General Ironwood." Melanie counted. 

"Well Qrow didn't teach me that but I suppose he is mentoring me in other things."

"Like what?" Miltia asked. 

"Like being a better fighter, I guess. He knows a lot about how to kill things, and not much else to be on the level with you." I reached the bottom of my drink and debated with myself before ordering another one. I was on the heavy side anyways, so it should be fine? "I really try not to take his advice on other things."

“You’re a heavy drinker.” Melanie watched me order more whiskey. 

"Yeah. That's one of those things I really don't want to pick up from Qrow but it might be too late. I might have the sort of addictive personality that leans that way."

"You're not sure?"

"I'm really not the kind of guy that goes to bars much."

"You seem like a regular to bar or club life."

"Yeah. With the right haircut you could be a plain old ladykiller."

I blushed. "I don't think so..."

"Come on."

“I know, let us give you a makeover.”

"Nobody likes a good-looking guy with no confidence."

"Nobody likes a guy with the wrong kind of confidence either. Trust me on that one." I thought of Weiss. She really hadn’t been all that into me. Like at all. But hot girls not liking me was nothing new to my life. It was the rule and there were two redheaded exceptions. Weiss was… probably a friend? Now? I wasn’t really sure. I learned to dislike her a little as a self defense mechanism. And to be fair, while that was probably an unhealthy coping mechanism, it kept me slitting my wrists the short way rather than the long way. I sucked on my third drink. My vision was getting a little shaky and my lips and face a little looser. "Where did you girls train?"

"Train?"

"Get your huntswomen training, I mean."

"Huntswomen," Miltia giggled. 

"I know he's so careful." Melanie laughed back. 

"Listen, I have gotten my ass beat by so many women that it pays to jump through that kind of hoop. It just does."

"We don't have any formal training." Miltia returned to the previous question. 

"We're from the mean streets of Vale."

"We're with the gang so…" Miltia finished. 

"I see." I nodded along. 

"You think it doesn't count?" Melanie prompted. 

"It's probably more real than any training someone gets at like, Signal." I disagreed with her implication. "My real training came from after Beacon fell, in the wild. Hunting criminals and real Grimm instead of practice dummies or training partners."

"Plus whatever Branwen is teaching you."

"Eh." I managed. "The chair happened around the same time that I met him. Most of the training he has given me has been verbal rather than hands on. All-l, really-y." I slurred slightly. 

"You seem perfectly capable anyways."

"Maybe gang life would suit you."

I watched Miltia trade drinks with Melanie. They took a pull from the others' drink in perfect synchronization. At my look she leaned over. "We don't mind sharing things." She winked. 

"Uh huh." I managed stupidly. “So what kind of haircut should I get? Asking for a friend.”

“I don’t know.... What do you think Melanie?”

“Well he looks alright now but he could tame it even more. Slick it back and nice and short. Nothing to grab onto but it would be smooth.”

“Yeah, he’s sort of in between right now. Like go scruffy or comb it over. Pick one and commit.”

“Pick one and commit…?” I trailed.

‘Yeah. You’re scruffy-”

“But not full on scruffy. And you have the comb over-”

“But you didn’t commit to it. If you’d pick one and go with that one who knows what could follow.”

“No one likes a guy who’s indecisive.”

“Seems to me like you girls don’t like a lot of guys,” I cut in. “Indecisive, no confidence, wrong confidence. Boy, is there anything about me girls actually like. I’m honestly asking.”

“What should your angle be? You mean?” Miltia asked.

“Yeah? What cards do I play? I’m too nice for edgy and too honest for mysterious.”

“Well you’re tall and broad so you’ve got that going for you,” Melannie pointed out. “Everyone likes a huntsman. Who doesn’t like a huntsman?”

“Nobody.”

“Okay, I hear that. Let me ask you something. I met the most beautiful girl in the world when I was at Beacon. A smart, gorgeous huntress. Let’s say I was really trying to impress this girl and I tried everything I could think of. I tried singing. I tried asking her to the dance. I tried asking her alone and in groups and in and out of classes. I tried it all. Okay? I tried literally everything and the kitchen sink.”

“And nothing worked?” Melannie asked. 

“Nothin’,” I said. “Nothin’ worked. Not a damn thing. I think she hated me.”

“Well it sounds like you were trying too hard. Nobody likes that.”

“And if you’re going to go honest you have to commit.”

“C-o-m-m-i-t,” Melanie hit the back of her hand into her palm with each letter. She spelled it out for me which was good because I’m fuckin’ stupid. “Honest is fine.”

“Honest is good, even. But if you’re dishonest in any way a smart girl will smell that from a mile away. You said she was smart right?”

“The smartest.”

“So what did you really do?”

“We can’t tell you unless you’re completely honest with us,” Melannie ordered. 

“Real talk?” I asked. “I… I tried to fake my confidence… and most of my personality...”

“Yeah that’s not gonna work.”

“That’s not gonna work at all,” Miltia agreed. “You can't play the nice guy card and then try and fake it like that. A girl just knows.”

“A girl totally just knows. We would notice if you were faking it right now. It’s like a guy faking their orgasm. It’s not a thing.”

“It’s not like girls can really fake it either…” I pointed out. “It’s pretty obvious and world shaking when a girl finishes for real. And when you do it right she isn’t sure if she wants more or less. Can’t fake that. Come on.”

“He knows…” Melannie trailed. 

“He’s onto our entire gender.”

“Who would have thought?”

“Scraggly, tall, and blonde has moves in the bedroom.”

“Please,” I waved off. “It’s so stupid easy to make girls come. It’s literally brain dead. If I can do it, anybody can. The clitoris and G-spot are not hard to find. You can make a girl finish even when she is begging you not to.”

“Can you not with guys?” Miltia asked.

“Not a chance. It’s easy to get a guy into it but if he’s not completely into it you cannot get him off. Bet.”

“Is that a challenge?” Melannie wondered. “Are you challenging us?”

“Bet,” I repeated. I finished my drink. 

#melanie malachite #miltiades malachite #Jaune arc #weiss schnee #qrow branwen #rwby #ff7 #motion sickness

[late-to-the-magnus-archives]

Vast!Jon AU Snippet: Getting Heated

Sasha is experimenting.

The Eye is rewarding her.

Why not? She's not hurting anyone.

Right?

-------------------------------------

Sasha is…

Sasha sees the world differently now.

Now that she knows, now that she has a framework that (Explains? Confuses? Ramps up? Simplifies?) codifies everything in life, nothing is the same.

She has forgiven Jon; Elias explained - brand-new baby avatar, an absolutely accidental scare, but nothing she can’t shrug off.

After all, she is the Archivist, and that, apparently, means things.

You will have such powers as I can never dream in time, Elias told her.

And maybe because she just wants to believe him, or maybe because he said this in awe, she takes those words to heart.

What powers, mind? Well. He says she has to find those out for herself. That in the learning, she will grow.

She can do that.

She’s working on it.

Everyone she meets now, she tries to see.

I can’t hurt people like Jon hurt me, right? 

No, Sasha, Elias explained. You serve different patrons, and have very different abilities. Now, those you see clearly will… experience those things they tell you anew - but they do that anyway when remembering to themselves. You aren’t creating new experiences, such as, say, falling while standing still.

She wants to believe him.

She wants to know.

The same thing that drives her to hack her colleagues’ computers - the same thing that has her nosing in drawers or file folders or closets - that thing is blooming wildly inside her like her own perfect garden.

So it was natural to be so curious all these years. So there's nothing wrong with her, after all. Not really.

So. She tries to see. And it is so damn strange.

“He’s already quit, just so you know,” says Tim, pulling her back to the present.

“Hm?” says Sasha, looking away from the neat little old lady two tables down, who has some kind of story that Sasha can sense like smelling fresh-baked bread.

“Danny. He quit at the sports store. Can you believe it?”

“Already?” Sasha baffles. “But he hasn’t even had an interview with us yet!”

Tim sighs with what Sasha thinks of as his Danny Look: it is fond, put-upon, and just a pinch frustrated. 

Sasha shakes her head. “He really does do this all the time. I mean, you said he did, but…”

“The modeling gigs keep him afloat when he’s got no other income. I mean, they could have this instead,” says Tim, gesturing dramatically at himself, “but whatever.”

Sasha giggles. “I think we know look which I prefer.”

Tim grins. It’s a full-toothed grin, eager and playful, and she already looks forward to where it will lead. 

Except that old lady over there, she…

It’s going to distract, and Sasha has had enough. “You sure you’ve got this one?”

“You got the last two. Gotta let me get this check or I’ll cease to be a man.” And only Tim could say shit like that without any real meaning behind it, making it funny, not sexist.

Though she wishes he wouldn't say shit like that, even if it is funny.

She does like Tim. A lot. If only he were a pinch more serious -

That woman is calling her.

“I’ll meet you out front. Girl stuff,” says Sasha.

Tim salutes her and heads off to pay the bill and wait outside, hands in his pockets, positively sauntering.

Sasha goes to the old woman.

The woman is finely dressed; her short, silver hair is neat. Her jewelry is expensive. Her makeup is on point.

She is hiding something terrible, and this close, Sasha feels… strange.

Like she’s losing control of exactly what she’s going to say. “Hi.” She sits. 

The old woman opens her mouth, maybe to protest - then meets Sasha’s eyes and goes completely still.

There is energy between them, flowing, and neither can close their eyes. “Tell me your story, Elizabeth,” she says, thrilling over the fact that she just knows this person's name.

Elizabeth does.

#

Tim waits outside. 

He waits.

He checks his watch.

The absolute last thing he wants to do is rush a lady in the bathroom, so he waits some more.

At the ten-minute point, however, he thinks something might have gone wrong, but just as he turns to re-enter the restaurant, Sasha comes bursting out of it.

She’s flushed. Her eyes are sparkling. She looks…

The look she gives him is, in a word, ravenous.

Tim’s struck dumb. That doesn’t happen often.

Before he can recover, she flings her arms around his neck and kisses him deeply in front of the whole world.

She’s groping him, too.

And he -

Her eyes are open the whole time, and he can’t look away from them, can’t blink, can’t think.

She breaks the kiss. “Home. Now.”

“Yeah,” he breathes, and keeps staring at her, unblinking, as she pulls him toward a passing cab.

#fic snippet #vast!jon #archivist!sasha #wip #amwriting #sasha james #tim stoker

[stesierra]

@winterandwords tagged me! Sorry to be so slow to get to this! I'm just getting my brain back in gear after some med changes.

You visit your own grave and someone asks "did you know them?"

What's your answer? Tell us what your OC/s would say to this, bonus points if it's in their voice/a mini snippet

I'll tag @anonymousfoz and @teacupsandstarlight and @dyrewrites.

You guys ready for this? I have a lot of OCs. I'm going to interpret this a bit loosely. Hope that's ok.

Antea from Stitches and Memories

"That's Antea's grave," the stranger said. "Did you know her?"

It was an impossible statement, or should have been, but the truth screamed in Antea's head, in the little space her headache left free. She was buried there, three feet down in a shallow hole made by someone who couldn't be bothered, and her skin was already degloving from her hands as she rotted and became one with the dirt. She was dead, some version of her, and Jadan had died with her. He was curled around her in that pit, for eternity.

Behind her, Jadan was telling the stranger that he was wrong, that she was alive. But Antea said nothing. She fell to her knees and threw up.

Nelone from As Immortality Fades

"Nelone's grave?" I said, gazing up at the elaborate mausoleum that had been added to the City of the Dead. It certainly looked like the grave of a beloved queen, one that her subjects had spared no expense to honor. There was one problem: I wasn't dead.

"Did you ever meet her?" the stranger asked. "They say she ruled for five hundred years as a teenager before her age caught up with her all in one day."

I laughed and touched the lines on my face. "It was bound to happen eventually. And yes. I knew her."

Zisha from Cast Out

I stared down at the plain, unmarked stone. I wanted to ask, are you sure? Is this really me? But instead I signed, "A little" and sat down in the loose dirt where someone (me?) had just been buried. The stone needed a painting. A face, immortalized forever. But I didn't know if I would paint myself there or a stranger.

Elise from the Bone Queen

I stared at the grave for a long moment. And then, without thinking about it much, I started to laugh.

Mausart put a hand on my shoulder. He murmured in my ear, "It can't be true, love. You're not in there."

I giggled, utterly delighted. "But if I AM, I'm peaceful and in a grave. Idony didn't chain my ghost to my bones. She didn't lock me in servitude forever! And do you know what that means?"

"What?"

I spun towards him. "She lost."

Adam from Triangle Park

Adam stared down at the gravestone. It was carved with angels and his name and dated to a year ago. The birth date had been left blank completely. It looked like a human grave, except no human was just named Adam, of no last name in particular. But faeries didn't carve gravestones.

Lizzy shuffled her Birkenstocks beside him and said, "Sorry. I thought you were dead. I thought... I just wanted something nice. To commemorate you. You know?"

"That's, ah, very thoughtful," Adam managed.

Rabbit tugged on his hand and leaned her head against his side. "What's this? Why's there a big rock?"

Adam crouched beside her. "To remember the dead. It's a grave."

Rabbit wrinkled up her nose. "But it's got your name on it!"

He cast a glance up at Lizzy. "Yes, well..."

Rabbit stuck out her lower lip. "Maybe it's a different Adam. Because you're not dead. Not like Sniffer."

"Maybe it is," Adam agreed.

She beamed up at him, her face full of relief. "Did you know him?"

"I can't say I did."

Mindral from the Halfway Revenant

"We dug you a grave," the man said, gesturing down at the open pit. "A grave for Mindral Thideet, who destroyed her family."

Mindral's fingernails cut into her palms. "How kind of you."

"A grave for Mindral, who is dead. Go on. Climb in."

She snapped, "I'm not dead. Do I smell like a woman who died a month ago?"

He leered at her, perfect teeth bared. "There's an unbinding symbol carved into your brow. That body's heart may beat, but Mindral Thideet's soul is with the gods. You're nothing but a filthy godkin."

"Would a godkin do this?" Mindral asked. And she shoved him into the grave.

Kerra from Court Phoenix

I cradled Hes against my chest and looked at Chujulan through the curtain of flame that danced across the phoenix's back. "What do you mean, I died?"

The sister of my heart stared at me, her shoulders rigid and feet set as though she expected to weather a charge. "You died, Kerra. That's your grave. I lowered your body into it. Mounded up the dirt with my own hands. I wept. I haven't wept since Cherin died." Her voice was a raw, wounded thing, the cry of an animal dying in a corner.

My blood rushed in my ears, whum whum whum. "But--"

Her green eyes flashed. "You died, and I've spent my whole life refusing to believe in ghosts. I've mocked all the lordly who hide from them by sleeping through their days. I've walked outside of the city wards and laughed. So how dare you come back."

Hes screamed, a mournful wail that didn't even sound like it came from a bird's throat.

I wanted to say something. But the words didn't come.

Juniper from School of Souls

I stood in front of my grave. And the worst thing, the thing that made me want to run through the streets until someone ran a red light and put me out of my misery, was that it really WAS my grave. My aunt had stuffed my body into a pretty, sterile coffin and laid it to rest next to Mom and Dad. The school had so helpfully sent my corpse to my next of kin. And now I could never go home.

Besides me, Ophelia smiled like a shark and said, "Oh, look at that! Little dead Juniper Fellows. Rotting in a pit in the ground. How sad. Do you need me to help you forget? I can make you think you've never heard the name."

Franklin, on my other side, balled his hands into fists. "Fuck you, Ophelia. Shut up."

Ameryi from the Many-faced Princess

I didn't need him to defend me. I found my voice. "Like you forgot your name? It wasn't Ophelia, was it? You just stole Ophelia's body and her life and forgot everything that came before."

Ophelia laughed joyfully. "And why not? Why shouldn't I forget?"

"Because you're a murderer? Because you're a thief? Because you're DEAD, like we're all dead?" I was shouting by now, and my voice should have echoed off the manicured cemetery lawn and rows of polished stones. But instead they swallowed it. Franklin put a hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged him off. "We shouldn't be here. None of us. We don't deserve it."

I was crying now. But not for me and my dead body. For the girl whose body I wore. Because she was dead, too, only no one would ever give her a grave.

Rebeka from Mud-Child

Ameryi stared down at the little mound of dirt. "Princess Ameryi is buried here? There isn't even a marker."

The gravekeeper spat. "She was a face-shifter. She worshipped Akihel. She's lucky they didn't feed her to the dogs."

Ameryi kept a pleasant smile on her borrowed face. "What did she look like when she was buried? Herself?"

He spat again, this time right on the grave. "Does it matter? Dead's dead."

It didn't. Ameryi already knew the answer. She knew who had died in her name, who she would never be able to repay. And she would blame herself forever.

Rebeka said, "Fuck that. I ain't dead."

Tag list for everything

@anonymousfoz

@moremysteriesthantragedies

@elizababie

@sm-writes-chaos

@bellascarousel

@macabremoons

@the-dragon-chronicler

@teacupsandstarlight

@vorskra

@wrenofthewords

@amostdelectablescribbler

@mysticstarlightduck

@phantommill

@gracewritesbooks

@aziz-reads

@owlsandwich

@symbioticsimplicity

@squarebracket-trick

@fishythewriter

@koala2all

@rmgrey-author

@atomatowriter

Just chapters and snippets

@da-na-hae

#tag game

[total-drama-takes-takes-2]

tti episode 7

“Last time on Total Takes Island! Our campers were put to the test in a battle against their fears. Not all succeeded, but all were very entertaining. Mal and Courtney finally fought out their differences in the ring, and Mal revealed her actual not-so-nice personality and her bad habit of throwing challenges, which ultimately led to her stroll down the walk of shame. How will the team ever bounce back from their inner turmoil and their vicious losing streak? Find out today, on Total! Takes! Island!”

The Flying Fujoshis walk in relative silence towards the beach, where they’ve been summoned for today’s challenge. Now only down to only six competitors, a certain sense of urgency hangs in the air. 

McLovin walks ahead of the group (partly thanks to his long legs) and Ass jogs to keep up with him. “Hey, McLovin!”

“Oh, hey, man,” he says, turning in their direction. “What’s up?”

“Oh, I just thought you might want a walk-friend. Buddy system, right? Haha,”

“Uh… yeah, for sure,” 

Courtney watches from a few feet behind and then stops, putting her hands on her hips and glaring. Sha-Mod crashes into her, his field of vision obscured by the Lighting image. 

“Sha-Hey! What’s the hold up?” 

They seethe. “Look at Ass. Mal’s not even gone one day and they’re already getting all chummy. McLovin was my ally first!”

“Woah, we can’t call dibs on a guy, guy,” Sha-Mod says, standing alongside Courtney as they begin walking again. “It’s not fair to him.”

“They’re such a flooz. They’re flirting,” 

“Sha-are they?” Sha-Mod lifts up the image just a tiny bit and watches as Ass giggles and playfully elbows McLovin’s ribs a little too hard. He keels over for a moment, coughing, and then smiles back. “Damn… they sha-are.”

The two overhear a snippet of their conversation. 

“Stop, MC you are too funny!”

“I call him MC. That was my nickname first!” Courtney shouts before Sha-Mod covers their mouth and shakes his head. 

---

“Alright, campers! Today’s challenge is simple: canoeing! You’ll be paddling across the lake to Bony Island, where you’ll carry your canoes to the other side of the island, and then build a rescue fire that’ll be judged by moi. The first team to return with their canoes win!

And… well, Scruffy, I’m sure you’ve got this,”

Scruffy stands. “Everyone make sure to not take anything off the island. According to local legend, if you do, you’ll be permanently cursed,”

Everyone looks at each other nervously.

“Now, get a move on!”

---

“Let’s partner up. Luckily, we have an even amount of members, so this shouldn’t be hard,” Courtney smiles. “Let’s see… Bonnie and Caesar, you two will go together, and… Me and McLovin-”

Sha-Mod and Ass both shout at once. “Hey!”

“What? We’ve been friends since the Awake-a-Thon. Bonnie and Caesar are friends, McLovin and I are friends… it makes sense, doesn’t it?” 

“Don’t you think we should sha-mix it up for once?”

Courtney sighs, watching the Anons set off, Max having assigned everyone a partner already. “Okay, fine. McLovin, go with Bonnie. Sha-Mod and Caesar. Ass, you’re with me,”

No one seems particularly happy about the arrangements, but at least everyone is equally miserable. 

---

Austin and Kelly sit in their boat, ignoring their oars and simply relaxing in the sun instead. Kelly leans over the edge of the boat, their finger dipping in the water while Austin leans back. 

“How about O, baby?” 

“Oh, I don't know,” Kelly sighs. “He seems a little… neurotic.”

“Most of the people here are, baby. Not Austin, though, I’m cool as a cucumber, yeah!”

Kelly sighs happily. “I like that,”

Max’s canoe paddles by quickly, and he yells as he and Staci pass. “MOVE!”

Staci pants from within their canoe, smiling. “You know, my great-great-great grand aunt Pattie-”

Max pops in a pair of ear-plugs

---

MAX: “I admire Staci's upper body strength much more when I can't hear them."

---

Julia and Michael paddle their canoe behind Max and Staci’s, albeit at a much less stressed pace. “Should we go faster?” Michael asks, watching the two ahead. 

Julia shrugs. “Eh, I wouldn’t worry about it. The Fujos are way behind,”

“Yeah, but-”

“Plus, Max kinda has a stick up his ass, you know? I mean, where’s the fire, right?”

---

JULIA: “and I am not being manipulative, by the way. Michael is desperate for friends, and I could use an ally. It’s a parasitic relationship,” she pauses to think. “Wait- no, that’s not right.”

---

“We are in the middle of a challenge, and with-”

“Don’t worry about it, we’ll win. I’m pretty confident in our abilities. I mean, yours at least,” Julia smiles. “Think about everyone else on the team- what do they bring to the table? Scruffy is a know-it-all, Staci is delusional, Max is a Smurf… when you think about it, you and I are like, the only good players.”

Frollo and Scary’s canoe floats by as they fight each other inside, Scary biting down on Frollo’s Bible as he holds it and tries to shake her off. Both Michael and Julia watch in silence until they’re out of frame.

“Um… yeah, I guess so,”

---

Caesar huffs, wiping the sweat off his brow in the scorching sun.

Sha-Mod watches in silence as Caesar turns to look at him, expectedly. A long silence follows as they stare at each other. 

Caesar turns back and sighs. “I miss Bonnie,”

---

Bonnie and McLovin sit on their canoe in an equally awkward silence, looking back and forth at each other every few seconds. 

“So…” McLovin finally starts up a conversation, looking to the sky nervously. “What kind of music do you like?”

“I don’t really listen to music,” Bonnie says in a monotone voice. 

“That’s cool. I like old school hip-hop and some classic rap. My buddy Joner and I have the biggest collection of Eminem concert ticket stubs in the Midwest,”

“Wow, that’s fascinating,” they put bluntly. “Let me guess, you like superhero movies and cop shows, too?”

“Nah, not really, I don’t watch a lot of TV. I like video games more,”

Bonnie raises an eyebrow and turns to look back at McLovin in the back of the canoe. “What kind of video games?’

---

Even though Scruffy and O are ahead of everyone but Max and Staci, they’re not faring too well. Every few minutes, Scruffy stops to write something down on their notepad, forcing O to take the brunt of the work as he’s too polite to object. 

O scratches his nose- Scruffy writes- O coughs- Scruffy writes- O checks his B.O.- Scruffy writes. The sound of scribbling is driving him up the wall, and it's taking a lot for him not to jump overboard.

“Hey, man? I don’t wanna be a bother, but maybe you could save the writing until we’re on land?” O asks, teeth gritted as he forces a smile. “Or when there are other people around?”

“Oh… I guess,” Scruffy sighs, putting away their notepad. As they do, a thick fog begins to roll in, shrouding the canoes in a grayish tint and making it impossible to see anything ahead. 

O squints. “Man, where did this fog come in? It was sunny today,” 

“I remember this- we’re almost there,”

The fog clears up a bit, and the figure of a large skull-shaped rock formation on the side of a cliff comes into view. Bony Island- in all its newly cleaned-up glory. A red canoe on the beach appears from the mist, and then Staci and Max as they wait on the sands. 

Scruffy and O dock their boat, followed closely by Julia and Michael. On the other side of the beach, Ass and Courtney pull up, followed by Bonnie and McLovin, who seem to be getting along just fine. 

Max sighs. “I swear to God…”

Just as Caesar and Sha-Mod roll onto the sands, Kelly and Austin follow. “Let’s move!” Max and Courtney yell in unison, prompting the teams to pick up their canoes and start running through the woods. 

Within five minutes, each and every pair has slowed to a walk, wheezing and huffing as their arms shake from the weight of the heavy wooden boats. McLovin hangs limply from his, forcing Bonnie to carry both the canoe and their partner. This time, no one argues to have McLovin on their side. 

“We gotta be close, right?” O groans. 

Scruffy smiles faintly. “Just a few more hours,”

Everyone lets out a loud wail of agony as they continue down the dark, musty path, surrounded by bones. Max and Staci pause for a moment to readjust and Max turns to see Frollo and Scary dragging their boat behind them, full of skulls from the scattered remains around the trail. 

“Um… what is this?”

“We’re going to give them a proper Christian burial,” Frollo states, matter-of-factly. 

Scary giggles. “We’re splitting them 50/50,”

“I think you guys are supposed to carry the canoes over your heads, not on the ground,” Michael says, walking by. Julia is at the back of their boat, looking winded, though Michael doesn’t seem particularly bothered. 

---

MICHAEL: “Joner was really my only friend growing up, so I spent a lot of time carrying him around. I’m kinda used to heavy lifting- and wrestling, boxing, camping, you know- guy stuff.”

---

Caesar huffs, looking back at Sha-Mod with disdain, and then to Bonnie and McLovin, and then back to Sha-Mod. 

“Hey, Sha… Guy?”

Sha-Mod grunts in response. Caesar gestures between their canoe and the one adjacent to them. “Tradesies?”

Sha-Mod seems to light up (though it’s hard to tell) and immediately drops his end of the canoe, running over to McLovin and Bonnie- who seems thoroughly relieved as they switch places. 

“Hey!” Courtney and Ass shout as McLovin and Sha-Mod run past them. “You can’t do that! We have to stick with our partners!” 

“Says who!” Sha-Mod yells back. 

Courtney growls, dropping the canoe on Ass, who shouts angrily, to run after them. 

Ass throws the boat off their head and runs too, catching up with the trio just as Courtney blocks their path, frowning deeply. “If we’re gonna share, we’re gonna do it fairly”

---

McLovin attempts to balance between the two canoes as Sha-Mod carries the center of one and Ass and Courtney carry the ends of the other. 

The balancing act is slow and tedious as Bonnie and Caesar pass, walking slowly and idly chatting. Even Frollo, Scary, and their army of skull-children drag ahead of the four. 

Courtney huffs, and then pauses for a moment. “Did you guys hear that?”

Scruffy walks by, nodding solemnly, and then states matter-of-factly: “Wooly beavers,”

“Um,” Ass says, suddenly pale. “What?”

A rustling from the bushes behind them spurs the entire group to scream and run, pursued by a pack of ginormous rodents. 

Courtney, Ass, McLovin, and Sha-Mod run ahead of everyone else, garnering looks of confusion from their fellow castmates that are quickly replaced by shouts of terror as the beavers pursue. 

O suddenly feels something thunk on the top of the canoe. 

Julia screams in terror: “GEESE!” 

Giant, pterodactyl-like geese swoop down from the surrounding cliffs, attacking the canoes. O screams and swerves his and Scruffy’s canoe sideways, crashing into Austin and Kelly. The four disappear into the brush and tumble down the side of a hill, completely out of sight of the rest of the campers. 

---

“Bonnie if we die here, there’s something I have to admit,” Caesar whimpers, another thud landing on his canoe. “I’m perfect and have done nothing wrong in my life, ever!”

Bonnie shouts. “I know!”

Up ahead, Michael is taking the brunt of the canoe-handling while Julia ducks in terror, holding her hands around her ears and closing her eyes as she runs. The two pass Max and Staci, who aren’t faring much better. 

“My third cousin’s best friend actually-”

“SHUT! UP!” Max yells, glaring at them behind him before tripping on a rock and tumbling across the path. He groans, clothes a bit torn and glasses skewed across his face. He sits up and holds his head before opening his eyes and coming face-to-face with a giant, meat-eating beaver. 

Michael swerves over, allowing Julia (who still has her eyes closed) to run ahead blindly. “Duck!” 

“They’re GEESE!” Julia shouts, her voice fading into the distance as she disappears down the trail. 

Michael brandishes the canoe like a giant baseball bat, gripping the rims, and swinging it hard, sending a few close beavers flying. Michael hoists Max onto her back and continues running, a determined look on her face. 

---

“Owie, me nob,” Austin groans, rubbing his forehead. “Where the bloody hell are we?”

Kelly sits up and picks some leaves and twigs out of their hair. “Where’s the path?”

Scruffy stands, brushing off their shirt and looking around the dark, musty forest in which they'd landed, and then at O. “Nice going, man,”

“What? We were under attack, I panicked! It’s a normal, human response!”

“That therapy talk isn’t gonna get you anywhere on this show, dude,” they snap. 

Austin and Kelly both turn to glare at O, too, who frowns. “It was fine when you couldn’t face your fear yesterday, but now you’re getting us involved. Not cool, dude!”

Kelly nudges Austin and whispers. “That’s what Chris says,”

O shakes his head. “It was an accident!”

“Well, accidentally find us a way out, then, baby!” Austin chuckles. "O, behave!"

O stands up, brushing the dirt off of him and looking around. He studies the moss on the side of the trees, licks his finger and feels the cool breeze, and holds his hands up to the sun, measuring it with his thumbs and pointer fingers. 

He then turns back to the group. “I have no clue what to do,”

---

Julia is shaking, rocking back and forth on the ground with her fingers in her ears and her eyes closed. Staci is kicking rocks around in the sand, and Scary and Frollo are sorting through their skulls as Michael comes running in with Max still on her back. 

As she approaches the beach, she gasps, throws the canoe, and drops to her knees. Michael falls forward and passes out on the ground, flat on her face. Max slides off her back and groans on the sand. 

“Where’s… the fire?”

“I don’t know,” Staci says, completely deadpan. “I was waiting for you.”

“What?” he snaps, eyes narrowing from his resting place on the ground. “Didn’t one of your great uncles invent fire or something?”

“Uh, no, genius. I wouldn’t know because fire was invented, like, a million years ago or something,”

The Fujoshis aren’t having much luck across the beach, either, as Courtney and Ass shout over who’s better equipped to start the fire. 

“Flint and stone!” Courtney insists, their hands on their hips. 

“Hand drill!” Ass yells back. 

McLovin and Sha-Mod stand back and let the conflict unfold as Bonnie and Caesar arrive back at the site with bundles of sticks in their arms. 

O, Austin, Kelly, and Scruffy come running out of the woods seconds later, covered in bug bites, scratches, and dirt. By now, Max is standing, brushing off his blazer and attempting to rally the team. “We need sticks! Stones! Does anyone here actually know how to start a fire?” he shouts, his arms out for emphasis. 

“I hate to say it, but the only person who might know…” Staci starts, pointing down at Michael’s unconscious body. 

Max groans. “Leave her. I’ll figure it out myself,”

---

MAX: “I don’t “like” Michael. I don’t “like” anyone. I’m like a sailor, married to the sea. Except instead of sailor, it’s camper, I guess. And instead of the sea, it’s the game,” he pauses for a moment to think. “Yeah, I’ll stick with that. Married to the game!”

---

“What’d we miss, baby?” Austin pants as Kelly leans on him for support, both exhausted. 

O whimpers about twisting his ankle and Scruffy attempts to write something down, holding the pen to the paper but only getting a letter in before collapsing. 

“Not much,” Staci says, shaking their head. “Did you know my great-great aunt Beatrice invented giving up?”

Max pushes them out of the way. “We need fuel! Is anyone here not injured, unconscious, or mentally disturbed?!”

No one says anything. Max sighs and turns to walk to the woods before tripping on something and falling over. “What the-!” he pauses, and picks the object up- then smiles with a faint idea. 

---

Scary crosses their arms and pouts as Max throws another skull into the fire. 

“Oh, don’t give me that look. You aren’t supposed to take anything off the island, anyway,” Max rolls his eyes. 

“Maybe I like curses, ever think about that?” Scary huffs. 

“Frollo, you’re up!” 

Frollo stands in front of his skulls, shaking his head. “You will NOT damn these souls to hell- I can still save them!”

“Are you sure this is safe?” O asks, cradling his ankle. “I mean… the curse…?”

“I wasn’t told I couldn’t burn the things we find on the island,”

---

“Oh, you are so getting on my nerves!” Ass yells, tossing a rock which Courtney ducks to avoid. 

“Likewise! All day!” they throw a handful of pebbles back. 

“Listen, guys-?” Sha-Mod starts approaching the two from behind before Ass accidentally swings their sand-filled fist back too far and hits him in the face. The picture of Lighting crinkles a bit and he stumbles backwards. “Sha-not cool!”

Bonnie and Caesar watch the ordeal from where they’re kneeling on the sand a few feet behind the scuffle, both working sticks against the same hunk of wood until a tiny flame sparks up. Bonnie leans closer to blow on it, bringing a small fire to life. 

The once brightly-burning bonfire on the Anon’s side has died down, as the organic matter stuck to the skulls burns away and leaves the charred bony remains behind. 

Max turns. “Frollo, we need more fuel,”

Frollo shakes his head adamantly, holding out his arms over his pile. Max turns and gives a nod to Staci. 

They grin, punching their open palm menacingly as they approach Frollo’s stash, and then begin to chase him around the beach, shouting that their great-great-great-great-great-grandfather invented streetfighting. 

Chris descends on a jetpack and surveys the scene. “Well, well, didn’t see that one coming. The Fujoshi's fire wins!” 

Courtney and Ass, who were in the midst of pulling each other’s hair, gasp and turn to see their teams fire burning brightly as Caesar and Bonnie run back and forth from the forest, tossing sticks and logs and hunks of wood into the flames.

“When did-”

“No time!” Bonnie shouts, running to the edge of the water where the canoes are already set up. 

The Anons follow, paddling as fast as they can with two unconscious team members and three who are too beaten up to even hold an oar handle. 

Bonnie and Caesar dock first, jumping out of their canoe and running onto the beach, followed closely by their team. 

“And the Fujoshis win the game!"

---

SHA-MOD: “We won, but things are getting pretty heated without Mal around. I hate to say it, but she was keeping the team together- even if it was by sha-sabotaging us,”

---

COURTNEY: “I guess I let my emotions get the best of me- now that Mal is gone, I just got too comfortable. I’m lucky we won, and- I’m gonna try to be the bigger person from now on. No more internet drama, no more infighting,”

---

ASS: “Strawberry Shortcake is going down,”

---

“Anons- you played hard, and lost even harder- but luckily, only one of you losers will be walking the dock of shame tonight,” Chris smiles. “Scruffy, Scary, Max and Michael- you’re all safe. Austin- Juuulia- Kelly, and Staci. Come collect your marshmallows,”

O looks at Frollo and frowns. Frollo stares blankly ahead, completely unbothered. 

“O- you kinda lost your cool back there, man, and took out three other players with you. And Frollo- your delusional mission to save the baboon skulls we bought in bulk from hell cost your team a bonfire. But, only one of you will be going home tonight. And that person- is-

Frollo-

-you’re safe,”

O closes his eyes and sulks, standing up and walking down to the docks without another word. 

---

O: "So, I didn't win. But I did do a lot! I faced my fear, I talked to new people, and I sustained several mysterious bug bites! My therapist says that experience is what makes us human, but I think too much might make you insane. So I'm not hating my placement!"

---

Chris chuckles. “Yikes! Who will walk the dock of shame next time? And who will persevere? Find out tomorrow on Total! Takes! Island!”

#tti #total takes island

[nuwildcat]

Secret Santa Snippet!

It’s WIP Wednesday and I come to you all with an early gift (we can count this one for Hanukkah) it’s a super sized snippet of the Big/Tay fic that I am collaborating with @mortimerlatrice on! We’ve moved on to Chapter 3 which will be our final chapter and I’ve got a bit of shenanigans to share with you! Enjoy and keep your eyes peeled between Christmas and New Years for when we drop these three gifts!

“You weren’t really gonna give up on Tay with one failed date were you?”

Big goes silent, he’s not sure that another date would be welcome, and he’s aware that annoying Tay would be the worst thing he could do.

“Oh hell no,” Porsche says. “You have to go again, which is why we are going to apply a liberal amount of alcohol to the problem.” He pours them both a sizable helping of the, Big is pretty sure it’s bourbon.

They clink glasses before Big throws the entire thing back.

“Well okay then,” Porsche has never failed to rise to a challenge, and follows suit.

Three glasses later Big can feel the floating sensation in his head and a tingle in his fingers. The buzz is hitting his system quickly, which tells him that he’s going to be feeling it a lot more in a few minutes.

“So how bad was the food?” Porsche is giggling a bit as he asks. For a bartender that didn’t take long to get him tipsy.

Instead of answering he asks, “How are you tipsy already?”

“Shut up, I haven’t had anything to eat for like six hours. Kinn had to get up at an ungodly hour this morning.” Porsche pushes his shoulder lightly while scolding him. Big sways more than he expected in response.

“It was fucking terrible. I didn’t know what half the things on the menu were and then it came out in these tiny pretty plates that I didn’t know how to eat.” He can feel himself start to ramble.

“Right?” Porsche chimes in. “Like the names are bad enough but what are you supposed to do with gel and foam?”

“Yeah! Then the foam tasted like smoke and I had no idea what I was supposed to do with it. Oh gosh and the wine! I don’t even like wine, but this one was orange!”

Porsche blinks blearily while pouring them another glass, the bottle is over half empty. “Orange? It comes in orange? I thought it came in red and white.”

“You were a bartender shouldn’t you know?”

“Hmm,” Porsche’s response doesn’t tell him anything. 

He doesn’t worry about it for long. “Orange and terrible. Bleh.”

Porsche cackles, “Was that the face you made when you tried it?”

“No!” He’s really starting to wobble now. “I was super mature and didn’t wince at all.” There take that Porsche.

“Oh sure,” Porsche nods sagely agreeing with him, as he should. “You didn’t flinch at all when you drank the weird orange wine.” Big is suddenly suspicious of Porsche’s agreement. “I bet, I bet you were a total wine conno,... condo,... nope, connousier. That’s the word.”

Big cant help but snort at his friend. “You’re drunk.”

“Yes I am! Which is why we should message Tay!” Porsche crows.

This sounds like an excellent idea. He’s wanted to message the man for a while now. Gosh, Tay is so pretty. 

He must say this out loud because Porsche responds, “Yeah, he is and we all know you are gone on him, dude.”

“Well I think that just speaks to how good my taste is.” He’s not going to be sassed by this little shit.

“Kinda bossy though, you’ll have to watch out for that.”

“I kinda like that,” Oh shit, even his inebriated brain knows he didn’t mean to say that out loud.

Porsche’s head whips to him and his eyes are very wide. “Well I guess you do like them bossy.”

What? Big’s brain can’t figure that one out. It must be clear on his face that he’s confused because Porsche elaborates.

“I mean you liked Kinn, who is the bossiest guy I know.” Big grimaces because he thinks that was a sex reference. “But Tay is bossy too. It’s just packaged as nice, not mean.” Definitely a sexual reference.

“Porsche, I do not want to know what you and Kinn do when you fuck like bunnies.”

Porsche flushes slightly and Big feels himself start to chuckle, it takes a lot to get under this man’s skin, he’s shameless. Porsche clears his throat and looks away causing Big to burst into full blown laughter. 

“Oh shut up, you want a pretty little man to boss you around in bed.” Well that shuts him up quick because now his brain is supplying him with images. “Stop, stop it!” Porsche yells at him while whacking him with a throw pillow. Big goes back to laughing at his boss’s antics. “Filthy mind,” Porsche complains under his breath.

Big snorts, “You fucked a man in a bathroom last week. You have no room to talk.”

Porsche squints at him for a moment then says, “Point.” He refills Big’s glass and tops up his own, before looking at the almost empty bottle like he’s puzzled why it’s so empty. “So, how are you going to get Tay to go on a second date with you?”

Ugh, he’s drunk but is he this drunk? As he tips his head back the room spins, guess that answers his question. “I have no idea,” he can’t keep the defeated tone out of his voice.

“Nope! Nope, not an option. We are going compose the best text and send it to him.” This won’t end well but his brain is shut down for the day.

“What would we say?”

“Hmm,” Porsche pulls a very over the top thinking face, even tapping his chin with his finger. “Well maybe you should lead with the fact you want him to boss you around in bed.”

“Porsche!”

The menace cackles, “Okay, okay not that. But I think that would work!”

“If you’re going to be like that I’m leaving.” He goes to get up off the couch and just falls back down. Porsche keeps laughing, the asshole. “Do you have actual advise, or are you just jerking me around?”

“Honestly? I don’t have a whole lot of experience with this stuff.” Porsche shrugs.

“Really?” Big kind of always assumed Porsche was a bit of a player.

“Yeah, I hadn’t actually dated anyone before Kinn.” Big’s jaw drops. Hadn’t dated anyone? Even Big has managed that. “Wasn’t a whole lot of time with raising my brother and myself.” Porsche shrugs like it isn’t a big deal.

“Damn, you better make Kinn take you on more dates.” There now the other man is smiling again, that’s better. Big has no idea when he became invested in Porsche being happy. It just seems to make everything else easier when the man is.

“We are focused on getting you date right now. Hand it over.” He makes gimmy hands at Big until he forks over his phone. That is going to be a move he regrets.

They compose and scrap and compose some more until they have a masterpiece to send. They are both very proud of the final product. He sends it right away.

Waking up the next morning, which gosh, they started drinking at four in the afternoon, his head is throbbing. There’s someone curled up with their head in his lap, looking down he sees Porsche. The menace deserves to suffer with him, so he pushes him off the couch.

The thud of Porsche hitting the ground is followed by a groan of pain. Big squints against the light coming in from the windows and tries to swallow the need to vomit. His eyes hurt. What all did they drink last night?

He nudges Porsche with his foot as the other man hasn’t moved. “Get up,” his voice is wrecked.

“Noo,” Porsche whines, but he sits up all the same, he looks like shit, which means Big does too. He remembers something important happened last night but can’t figure out what.

The buzz of his cellphone brings everything back. FUCK. The text, what did he send to Tay? He scrambles to grab his phone stepping on Porsche who hasn’t gotten off the floor.

“Ouch,” the whine is truly pathetic. He frantically opens his texts to Tay and the first few words make him want to melt in embarrassment. He kicks Porsche to get his attention.

“I am never drinking with you again, or taking your advice,” he snipes, wanting to bury his burning face in his hands, but he has to read these texts.

The flowery apologies he can handle. He honestly feels like shit about how awkward the date was. The confession of his nerves was fine, it’s the rest. 

Two paragraphs where he waxes poetic about how pretty Tay is and how that distracted him. A rant about orange wine, that he’s pretty sure Porsche wrote. Then the begging kicks in. Oh fuck the begging. He pleads for Tay to give him a second chance. Entreats the man to let him prove he can do better. Even mentions that he would be the best he could be for someone as pretty and amazing as Tay.

Eight messages later Big is nuclear red and would like to become one with the floor. “I’m going to fucking kill you,” he wants to strangle Porsche and his horrible ideas.

Porsche has been reading over his shoulder and snickering. The plus side is the way he’s clutching his head indicates he’s suffering as he does it.

The typing bubbles pops up as Tay is composing a response.

“Fuck, fuck,” Big bobbles the phone is his surprise just barely holding onto it. He’s in a full on panic and this point, holding his breath to see what Tay says.

#fic #secret santa #the Tay/Big agenda #in this house #we give Tay nice things #in this case it's big #Porsche is a menace #drunken shenanigans #wip wednesday