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#I love when Dean gets stabby
strawlessandbraless · 2 months
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How I met your Father 💚 💙
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inkedmyths · 1 year
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S1: E16 “Shadow”
Brought to you by Kayla made Shark watch an episode of Supernatural and feel things so I'm morally obligated to watch another episode. And also this fudge I'm eating.
This episode featuring: The Dark from The Magnus Archives, passionate feelings involving Spirit Halloween, Dean trying to help his sad brother get laid, and Unown (the Pokemon)
[ Crepe says I'll like this one, because Meg is back. ]
Oh shit blonde chick? Weird stabby blonde chick?
[ Shark says we love a weird stabby blonde chick. Kayla and Crepe agree. ]
The earbuds stopping functioning is probably a bad sign
Woooooshy wooshy
Oh shit its Pitch Black from popular movie Rise of the Guardians!
I don't think that's going to work against the spooky
The shadow looks like the Spirit Halloween mascot
[ Kayla says this should be an edit. Crepe responds about a video. ]
Oh hey this really has the same energy as that one TMA Dark ep
The one where the camera guy gets killed by shadows
"Ours! You think credit card fraud is easy?"
"Your alarm is about as useful as boobs on a man" LESS USEFUL. BOOBS ON A MAN HAVE THE USE OF BEING SEXY. EDUCATE YOURSELF WOMAN
Also I love the little cursive names on them. Their little nametags
[ It is at this point that everything gets derailed by a question. ]
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[ Crepe is from Brazil. Spirit Halloween is not in Brazil. We all scramble in an attempt to explain. This is further derailed. ]
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[ Discussion hereon includes Kayla's passion for Halloween, debate on the age of Halloween, apparently issues with a Halloween event in Korea, explaining what Spirit Halloween is, the Prime Minister of Japan, misspelling countries as "cluntries", and Sky Children of the Light. ]
[ Also, this edit. ]
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[ It takes over 10 minutes. I am 6 minutes into the episode. ]
Ok so chick was in pieces. All over the place
Dean stop being weird about the officer
[ Kayla says he has a thing for men in uniform. Crepe agrees. I said he was talking about a lady, but fair. Kayla says he's bi so it still applies. This tracks. ]
... THIS REALLY IS LIKE TMA THE DARK.
LIKE ROBERT WHATSINAME WITH THE HEARTS. AND THE SHADOWS.
Taping between blood stains?
That looks like an Unown
This is literally what was on the ground
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[ Kayla asks why it's got legs. Crepe says so it can walk. Unown floats. ]
Congrats Dean you got her number. Back to the murder dumbass
Sam whatcha doing
OH. MEG
"What are the odds"..... yeah......... not sus at all
OUCH. She really just went right for Dean's metaphorical throat. When's she going to go for his actual throat, because I get the feeling she will
Oh good Sam is sus about her
DEAN stop being bitter
"Yeah, it happens, but not to us" hes so true
LMAO Dean please stop. Not everyone wants to get laid contantly
[ Kayla says to let him whore in peace. I say sure, he can, but I don't get the impression Sam wants to. In her opinion, Kayla says that Dean is trying to help his brother stop being so sad by getting laid. I'll buy it, to be honest. I don't think Sam appreciates it much, though. ]
"Invite her to a poetry reading" lmao
Zorro Astrian or whatever
NAME THE LAST BOOK YOU READ AND DEAN DOESN'T ANSWER. LMAO
Dean: I love sucking and fucking so much so obviously this is what my sad brother needs
LMAO RIP SAM
Sam stop being a weird stalker. Yes she's weird but cmon
Subtlety? What subtlety
OH yeah thats fucking creepy ok maybe stalking her was the right call
Sam drop down run run get the fuck out
.... orrr sneak up and see what that shit all is I guess.
Sam if she tries to ritual sacrifice you that's on you buddy
Oh yep that demonic mark. A connection
IN SYNC LMAO
"Dude I need to talk to you" in unison. Weirdos
Oh! Oh a connection!
Lawrence Kansas?
Everything circles back to Lawrence
Oh they want their dad there to help. He probably won't show up tho bc hes terrible
Big night!
No no nobody's nervous at all why would they be
Oh Sam wants to go back once he takes care of the thing that killed their mom. Dean though, he's never known everything else.
Dean just missed the three of them being together :(
YOU CAN GO YOUR OWN WAAAAAAAY
LMAO now they're both hanging on the weird little fence
Sneak 100
NEVERMIND NOT SO MUCH
There it is the Spirit Halloween demon
Oh now they are tied up
"Your girlfriend is a bitch" oh Dean
Yeah it was all a set up. To lure them in
OH IS SHE TRYING TO GET THEIR DAD
Yep yep weakness is the kids ofc
Loyalty to whom ma'am
Ohhh I do not like that please fuck off
Oh so close Dean
YEAH go Sam
These things don't like being bossed around
DHDHDHDH find a girl who's not so crazy so true
She's not actually dead is she
OH HEY YOU ACTUALLY SHOWED UP
Hello Mr. Winchester its a shocker 2 see u
Ohh so its trying to get him out of the picture, luring him in
BUDDY THEY ARE ALREADY IN THE CROSSFIRE
Men Having Feelings But Also Pretending They Don't
OH SHIT
I KNEW IT SHES NOT DEAD
NEVER. TURN. YOUR. BACK. ON. THE. BODY.
Oh good weakness to light that makes sense
Men covered in their own blood
Men Feeling Feelings And Being Bad At It
"This fight is just starting" yeah Sam don't you know its only Season 1
Your guy's faces are fucked uuuuup
Off they go
You're too late Meg they got away
DAMN alright ok that was an ep
-
Crepe asked me what I think Meg's deal is. My guess is either a witch, or the daughter of a demon, or maybe both. I don't know yet.
This one was a long one because we're all stupid.
One more edit for the road.
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SPN 2x04 notes
Aaaaand again because why the hell not 
Ohh breakup chocolate, love that
Yes support your friend good 
No don’t drive and answer a call 
Aaaaand now you’re dead 
Ohh fire intro 
Oh boy closure 
Damn that’s a fancy gravestone 
Sammy what are you doing 
Why are you digging at the grass 
Awww he’s burying... something 
Donald who now 
No Dean’s just wandering in a graveyard
Oop Sammy’s gone 
No nevermind just a tree
Ohh hollow tree
Circle uh oh 
Temporary grave oh boy
Aww Deany is hungry for a hunt
Why don’t they just dig up and do a salt-and-burn 
It’s almost certainly is an angry spirit 
I’m gonna regret saying that 
Ohhhh Dean is getting sentimental 
Sammy yes it is
Denial is the first stage of grief my dear Dean
Dean give yourself a chick-flick moment 
No don’t get a drink alone you’re gonna get hurt 
Oh no the plant!!! 
Yes queen take revenge on those who hurt you
Dean where are you
Alan Stanwick right
Dean trying to be emotional support 
Casa erotica four really 
Dean don’t steal a diary
Sam’s eyebrows :’D
Aaaand we’re gonna go burn a corpse
How do they dig such perfect rectangles
Aaaaaand coffin empty, no surprise
Ohhh uh oh you seeing her too 
Best friend-turned-lover turned lover of dead people 
Greek? Yeah Greek
Damn Dean the man just lost his kid
Living plants yes 
Go to therapy please
Yes your lives are weird please go to therapy
Note to self: Don’t listen to bodies after they die 
This poor kid 
Oh never mind
Maybe knock? 
Again with the counselors dammit
Were the plants alive or dead I couldn’t tell 
I assume dead
Ohh basement fun
Ohhh we got a traitor 
Why does everyone say something when they hear a weird sound 
Like just make weirder noises 
Ohh fight scenes 
Scissors 
You killed a corpse 
Maybe
Nope
Why didn’t the bullets go through 
Did you just leave her? She just killed a dead person 
 “What’s gone should stay gone” uh huh give yourself time
That no was so small 
And he goes back to the closet
Mate I don’t think she can age
Yes she is totally trustworthy to stay in one spot 
Whoopsie daises he’s dead
Stop looking around and finish the ritual 
 Satisfying gun click-click 
No you’re a zombie 
Oh shit yes Sammy run
No don’t run towards the graves
She’s good at cracking necks
Right into the grave? Nice
Stabby stab
You gonna leave the knife? Okay
“What’s dead should stay dead’ ha not for long 
Get the hell out of there it’s dawn
Dammit Dean just go pat the stone and leave
BitchfaceTM Dean Winchester
Pulls over
Yes it is time for the legendary scene
I’m so excited
Lean against Baby
Aww Dean’s getting all choked up 
Sammy going to sit next to him so sweet
Aww he figured out John sold his soul 
Stop sucking back your tears and let them fall Dean
Aww so sweat
Wait no please live
I mean die eventually, I know you do 
You’ll stay dead eventually 
Yes get out how you were feeling 
THE TEAR 
IT IS PERFECTION
I LOVE JENSEN ACKLES 
Oh that’s the end of the episode? 
That’s a depressing end 
Okay so I think I might do this every once in a while or go back and rewatch episodes and take notes but yeah. Anyway if you read this far I appreciate it, I honestly don’t think anyone did though :’D 
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allthemusic · 5 months
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Week ending: 24 September 1953
Two songs this week, both alike in style, albeit somewhat different in their execution. Who'll do it better, Nat or Dean?
Mother Nature and Father Time - Nat King Cole (peaked at No. 7)
I just about know the Nat King Cole song Nature Boy, and was kind of expecting this to be that song, which it obviously isn't - it's in a similar vein, though, with a general sense of class. Even the title seems a bit wordier and more allusive than normal.
It's actually very grand as it opens, and more than a little bit trippy-hippy, as we learn that "I'm a son of mother nature / A son of father time / I've got a lot of neighbours, the million stars that shine". Have we had many grander claims? I'm not sure.
We keep on the nature theme, too, as we hear that "Every robin is my brother" and that "The tiny black-eyed daisies / The mighty redwood tree / They're all my family". There's a really nifty moment with the robin bit where a flute trills around mimicking a robin call, too, which I super appreciated - very cute!
That aside, it's risking getting a bit Disney - I'm reminded forcefully of Pocahontas and Colors of the Wind! I think it doesn't help that it also feels very American. I mean, we have robins and daisies in the UK, but they're not black eyed, and redwoods are not a feature over here. Hence, Pocahontas, which was also a childhood touchstone for me of "American nature songs".
You'd be tempted to think this was going to be a sort of environmental song, then, but no - much more prosaically, it's about how lonely Nat King Cole is, as he complains that "Why do I feel so lonely, like a king on an empty throne?". Answer, he doesn't have a love to call his, and so he spends the rest of the song entreating Mother Nature and Father Time to find him a match.
It's a very grandiose setting for a sentiment that we've seen in literally, like, half the songs so far? I don't mind it, but it does feel like the song could have done more interesting things with the set-up. I'm not sure quite how successful that would have been, commercially, but I'd have certainly enjoyed more nature imagery continuing throughout the song!
Thankfully, the prettiness, class and good craftsmanship of the music makes up for the mismatch between the sentiment at the start and at the end. Nat King Cole's voice is like a warm bath, it's so soothing and smooth, and when the musical interlude comes in, with its jazzy muted trumped and tense, stabby chords from the strings, I'm sold. I'll listen to the rest gladly, even if it doesn't live up to its opening lines.
Kiss - Dean Martin (5)
We're really in the crooner era, aren't we? There are two very lush, smooth songs, and Dean Martin sings like he's singing directly into your ear. He's smoochy, way more so than Nat King Cole, with his grand imagery.
I think it helps that the sentiment here is pretty simple: "Kiss, kiss me, say you miss, miss me." It doesn't get much more complex than that for the whole song. He's a simple man, it seems, with simple needs, at least in this song.
It might be me, though, but it comes off a bit lyrically awkward near the start, from the lame "Kiss me, love, with heavenly affection" to rhyme with "all your heart's protection". Which in turn leads us to "Make my life perfection". We get it, Dean, somebody got you a rhyming dictionary for back-to-school!
I think his voice is also annoying me a bit, the more I listen to this. It's smooth and tender, but is there a touch of smarminess there? I don't know, he just sounds smug to me, but perhaps I'm imagining this. I know he's supposed to sound happy, but something about it rubs me up the wrong way. I don't think it helps that he sings much less clearly than Nat King Cole did. He's still very clear - 1953 is very keen on good diction - but it's less whistle-clean and crisp.
We then get a musical interlude, because if there's anything 1953 likes more than clear consonants, it's a musical interlude. This one is predictably slow and soupy, with a mix of delicate strings and a heavy emphasis on a plodding downbeat. It's pretty standard, as these things go, though I like the piano that comes back in when Dean's vocals come back. Very classy.
Sadly, the lyrics are the same as before, not late-song redeeming features. Just a lot of fairly bland entreaties to Dean Martin's love to kiss him, thrill him and hold him. We have "charms" and "arms", and dreams coming true. Yawn.
I think my preference here should be clear. Both songs strike a similar tone, even as they have quite different moods. One is lonely, the other is enraptured, but both are smooth, soft and sentimental, with a lot of lush instrumentation and a sleepy little interlude. Nat King Cole gets a boost, at least in my opinion, from his more original lyrics and his crisper, slightly jazzier style. Not that I hate Dean's, but my verdict is clear:
Favourite song of the bunch: Mother Nature and Father Time
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angel-derangement · 3 years
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supernatural is about stabbing things. I don’t know how to say this any clearer: supernatural is about the raw rush of adrenaline you get when you stab a blade into the flesh of a living thing. Why else would they keep introducing more specific stabby weapons with which to stab increasingly ridiculous foes? The mark of cain arc was literally just about dean’s desire to stab. Everyone on the show is inches away from stabbing everyone else in every scene. I love destiel and I think sam is wonderful and yes the angels’ story is powerful, but those are all accidents. They’re all window dressing that turned out to look better than the actual view. The real meat of the story is Stabbing Is Exciting To Watch
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cogentranting · 3 years
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20 Shows I’ve Watched Ranked by Stabbiness
*Stabbiness is a state of being not solely defined by conventional stabbing as with a knife sword or shank, though the presence of such does constitute an advantage*
Gilmore Girls- 0/10 No stabbiness at all. Made worse by the fact that there are some characters whom I would very much like to see stabbed.  This Is Us- 1/10 Terrible. Lots of feelings, very little stabbing. Even the war scenes in flashbacks prefer feelings to stabbings. But there WAS a war so that’s some stabbiness.  A Million Little Things- 1.5/10 No stabbings to date but someone did get intentionally run down by a car. Also the characters often feel like they’re *this* close to stabbing someone. Chicago Med- 3/10 Slightly higher score because of the number of times I kinda wished some of the characters would get stabbed. But the real points come from Ava going OFF and straight up murdering people right before I quit watching. Also one doctor’s dad was a serial killer.  Psych- 3/10 Lassiter plays at being very stabby, but there’s no real follow through. But it is a murder show, so some of villains bring the score up. Supergirl/Flash- 3.5/10 “kiLlinG is wROng” Nobody asked you. Legends of Tomorrow- 4/10 Had more stabbing early on. Then things went downhill. You hate to see it. House- 5/10 House himself feels a lot of times like he’s really in the medical field for the legalized stabbing. Plus there’s the episode where Chase gets stabbed in the heart.  Lost- 6/10 It’s above average for shows in general but within its genre its pretty restrained. I mean, sure I could list a half a dozen stabbings off the top of my head, but is it a first resort? an instinct? no.  Timeless- 6.5/10 Flynn it up Flynn! Flynn raises the overall score for being himself, but if we’re being real 90% of the team is pretty willing to throw down and murder someone.  Once Upon a Time- 7/10 On the one hand there’s an overreliance on fireballs, but on the other there’s a lovely ornate dagger, that later transforms into the evil sword of true love. Would probably be a point or two lower except for that one stretch of episodes in season 6 where there was like one stabbing per episode AND most of all, the scene when Emma has to stab her true love through the chest.  The Mandalorian- 7/10 He kills people for money so you’d expect it to be higher right? It’s a good score but Din’s a little too focused on adopting kids and all the friends he’s accidentally making. But he’s got a Very Special Sword and a Very Special Spear now so there’s hope for season 3.  Grimm- 7.5/10 Honestly remarkably stabby for what is essentially a procedural. I guess that’s what you get when your main character’s family line is known for decapitating people.  Daredevil- 8/10 Elektra and Karen bring up the score because they’re both being themselves, living their best lives. Go girls! Matt himself is on the receiving end of a lot of stabbiness but doesn’t do much himself. However, his general inclination to fight the entire world is really in the spirit of things. Also Dex is here stabbing people with office supplies so you can’t lose. Prodigal Son- 8/10 The only thing holding it back is that Malcolm doesn’t kill people. He has stabbed at least two people though. And Ainsley had her moment to shine. And Jessica ran a man down with her car. And Malcolm broke his own hand with a hammer. So it makes up for Malcolm’s shortcomings. Vampire Diaries/Teen Wolf- 9/10 when the vast majority of your characters can supernaturally heal themselves they basically just start stabbing each other as a way of saying hello. If I’m giving one show the edge, it’s Vampire Diaries because even when they shoot, they stab because they have little wooden stake bullets. Arrow- 10/10 What is an arrow if not a long distance stabbing device? Oliver’s score is pretty much perfect between the knives, and the arrows, and the flechettes, and the swords. Three different family members take a sword through the chest. Oliver’s problem solving is like “I can’t kill you so I’m just gonna cut all your tendons so you can’t fight” or “I’m not gonna kill the guard so I guess I’ll just frame him by stabbing myself.” Oliver lives and breathes stabbiness.  Supernatural- 11/10 Truly an astounding amount of stabbing. I think all main characters have been stabbed in the chest at least once. At one point Dean is so stabby that if doesn’t stab someone he gets physically ill and could potentially die. They’ve got all kinds of specially designed stabbing tools, including an ancient knife made out of a jawbone. It’s harder to find an episode without stabbing than one with, and there are a LOT of episodes. They stab Death itself.
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watchingspnagain · 2 years
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Rewatching Houses of the Holy
Welcome to “tHAt’S mIcHAel, rIGhT?: A Supernatural Rewatch Blog” with Lor and Mace!
 Up today, s2e13: Houses of the Holy
 The boys decide to check out a murder in which the murderer is convinced that an angel told her to do it, and as they're looking into that one, another murder happens with the same story from the perp. Turns out the victims were both sleazeballs and also regularly attended the same church. Dean's 100% skeptical, insisting it's a spirit and not an angel because of course angels don't exist since neither of them nor John have ever seen one. He's shocked and troubled, then, when he discovers that his little brother Sammy does, in fact, believe in angels. It turns out nobody here's been touched by an angel (yet - WE'RE LOOKING AT YOU, DEAN WINCHESTER); instead it's the vengeful spirit of a priest who was shot just outside the church and who is convinced he is an angel. By the end of the episode, Sam and Dean are both wavering in their respective convictions, and both give very good sad face puppy eyes.
 Below is a log of our real-time reactions as we watched. Remember that there may be spoilers for any part of SPN’s 15-season run here. Note also that the nature of our conversation is adult and thus it may contain adult language and themes.
 [and we begin:]
 Mace:
Oooooh, is this the one where Sammy gets religion, sort of?
 Lor:
YES
Mace:
 YAS
 Lor:
and Dean is like "come on, Sam, there's clearly no angels and god and shit"
 Mace:
 sweet sweet innocent Dean not believing in those angels
 Lor:
ACCIDENTALLY AMAZING
 Mace:
 YAS
 Lor:
YES
 Mace:
YAAASSS
 Mace:
 SAAAAMMMM
 Lor:
nrrrrggg SAMMEH
 Mace:
 DED
 Lor:
those SCRUBS
 Mace:
 can’t answer on account of being ded on floor
 Lor:
lolololol
 shall I poke you with a stick?
 Mace:
 rude.
 Lor:
lolololol
  Mace:
 rude but appropriate since poking is just what a certain angel will want to be doing to Dean later
 Lor:
SNORK
 Lor:
"and the word was... to kill someone?" oh Sammy. just WAIT
 Mace:
 HAHAHAHA YES! unknowing BABIES
 Lor:
lol
 OMG DEAN
 Mace:
YAS
 “It’s kinda making me uncomfortable"
 Lor:
SNORK
 "my last quarter"
 Mace:
 oh DEAN
 Lor:
how do you think you're gonna do your laundry now, child?
 "there's no such thing as unicorns?" SAAMMMMY
 Lor:
"and you've got angels on the bullcrap list?"
 Mace:
 YAAASS
 Mace:
 oh Dean, one of those angels watches you, honey
 Lor:
YES
 poor Cas. he's just TWITCHING in heaven
 Mace:
can you imagine the scowl he’s making in heaven right now?
 HAHAHAHA OMG LOR
 Lor:
MACE OMG
 Mace:
 i love us so very much
 Lor:
YES
"Sam, I found it" DEAN WINCHESTER
 Mace:
 SUCH SNARK
 Lor:
I think he protests too much
like maybe he might like it to be true
 Mace:
YUP
 Mace:
that’s called hubris, Dean, and nemesis in the form of a hot angel is coming for you
 Lor:
 YAAAS
  Mace:
 or scared that it is true and he’s not worthy
 Lor:
ope YEP that's it
 Mace:
 takes a bow
 Lor:
curtsies like a dope
 Mace:
HAHAHA I LOVE IT
ewewew to the fingernail
 Lor:
RIGHT?
 the look they share
 Mace:
YES
 who stands there like a dummy and doesn’t get under a door frame?
 Lor:
LOLOLOLOL
 practice better angel earthquake hygiene, dude!
 Mace:
 HAHAHA hygiene!!
 Lor:
takes a bow
 Mace:
 not his forte, I think
 Lor:
noo, I suspect not
 Mace:
 but he’s polite, at least. introduces himself before he gets stabby
 Lor:
HA
 Mace:
“did you bring quarters?"
 DEAN WINCHESTER
 Lor:
poor Dean. has to listen to the police scanner rather than getting to hedonist
 aww, Sammy, don't be so mean
 Mace:
“what are you talking about I eat"
 Mace:
 HAHAHAHA
 Lor:
YES
 Mace:
 YES
 Lor:
I was just thinking that
he loves to eat
 Mace:
HE DOES
 Lor:
"awww, I don't want to hear this"
 Mace:
 YES
 Lor:
"I guess if you're going to stab someone, good timing"
 Mace:
 HAHAHA
 Lor:
ooooo this is the bit where Sam says "isn't that Michael" and is effectively pointing at Dean
 Mace:
OOOO YES
 Mace:
THERE IT IS
 so so cool
 Lor:
YAAAAS
 ACCIDENTALLY AMAZING
 Mace:
 YES
  Mace:
more loving than wrathful - that’s…not right
 Lor:
HA! it sure is not
 Lor:
except for Cas... mostly
  Mace:
 Cas turns good because of Dean
 Lor:
YESYESYES
  Lor:
ooo, that's interesting. Dean seems not to know the scripture but MUCH later he knows the Bible well and says he reads it. WHAT might happen to make him take an interest?
 Mace:
HAHAHAHA
 Mace:
 well, he did run out of quarters...
 Lor:
HAAAAAHAHAHAHA
  Mace:
 Dean is uncomfortable with Sammy having faith and that needs sussing out on so many levels
 Lor:
don't throw stones, Dean. praying will be very useful to you
 Mace:
 YES
 Lor:
YES
 Lor:
the way he GRIPS him
 Mace:
So all the people who have been ‘chosen’ so far have been fringe - outsiders...
 Mace:
 YES
 Lor:
YES
 Lor:
“glow sticks and a Dr Suess hat” omg
 Mace:
 HAHAHA
 Lor:
well THAT'S uncomfortable, Sammy. there are no thought crimes
 Mace:
 yeah this is awkward
 Lor:
oh Dean
she wasn't wrong, Dean
 Mace:
 angry little sad muffin
 Lor:
she didn't say they was watching over HER
 Lor:
YES
 Mace:
 YES
 Lor:
oh, there will be hard proof
 Lor:
...sorrynotsorry
 Mace:
 SNORK!!
 Lor:
"hope Whoopi's available"
 Mace:
HAHAHA
 Mace:
 SPONGEBOB SIDE DOWN
 Lor:
“put it Spongebob side down”
 Lor:
OMG I LUFF HIM
 Mace:
YES
 Mace:
 tricky, Dean
 Lor:
YES
 Lor:
so COMPETENT
 Mace:
 nnnnggg YES
 Lor:
there's snow on the ground
 so unusual
 Mace:
 yeah I was just thinking about that
 Lor:
but of course
 Mace:
OF COURSE
 Mace:
 LALALALA not listening to Sammy’s Latin
 Lor:
haaaaaahahahahahaha
 Lor:
omg Sam's face
 Mace:
 YES
 Lor:
"actually maybe I can't"
 Lor:
I LUFF HIM TOO
 Mace:
snork
 YAS
 Lor:
"it's based on early Christian rights, if that helps any?"
 Mace:
oh Sammy’s face when he realizes it’s not an angel
 poor kitten
 Lor:
"it's just Father Gregory" he's so SAD
 Mace:
 Dean, bud, you’re not being very stealthy with the following
 Lor:
LOL
 what, you think someone would notice a GIANT black car from forty years before that growls?
 Mace:
SNORK!
 Mace:
SLIDING ACROSS THE HOOD TO CHECK ON HER
 AM DED
 Lor:
YES
thinking to reach in and hit the button so her door would unlock AND asking not just if she's okay but if she has a cell phone
 Mace:
 YESYESYES
 Lor:
poor Thomas
 Mace:
Sammy’s puppy eyes
 I CANNOT
 Lor:
YES
 Mace:
yeah, poor Thomas BUT SAMMY
 SO CUTE
 Lor:
lol
 aw man, pick someone else. Raphael's a jerk
 Mace:
 they’re all a-holes (except that one)
 Lor:
lol
 Mace:
(you know, that Cas one)
 (he’s pretty okay)
 Lor:
Gabe is... okayish? eventually?
 (lol yeah, he's okay. he can stay)
 Mace:
 (in fact, you could say he’s okeydokey)
 Lor:
(haaaahahahahaha)
 Mace:
 Gabe is awesome but also a huge a-hole
 Lor:
mmm. fair
 mrrrrrg Baby
 poor Dean. he's shook
 Mace:
HE IS
 the decor in this room is…CLASSY
 Lor:
HA
 oh Sam
 Mace:
 both of them are shook and for opposite reasons I LOVE IT
 Lor:
YESYESYES
 "I'm watching out for you"
 I CANNOT
 Mace:
 he’s just one person but he’s also DEAN WINCHESTER and I think that counts as a bit more than just one person
 Lor:
AGREED
 Mace:
 I’d be okay with him watching out for me
 Lor:
YES
 "maybe... God's will"
 Mace:
 Cas. You can call it Cas, Dean. IT WAS CAS
 Lor:
oooof the two of them
 Lor:
OOOOOOOO
 Lor:
I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT
 Lor:
I LOVE THAT
 Mace:
takes another bow
 Lor:
curtsies even more dopily
 Mace:
 That whole “it’s god’s will” bit is so…OOOOF
 Lor:
yeah
 Mace:
 he will look back one day and CRINGE at that
 Lor:
YEP
11 notes · View notes
pallasperilous · 4 years
Text
Boneless Wings
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 {AO3 version}
So, blah blah blah, it’s their standard-issue disaster: pack of dumbass witches (always with the dumbass witches. Where do they find the time for this shit? Somebody get these women signed up for a Peloton subscription or a macramé class or a vibrator of the month club, seriously, whatever it takes—), ancient curse, Castiel being the actual angel of stepping in it, nobody cares. 
The point is, two hundred and forty-one hours of binge-worthy drama later, Dean and Cas are living in a semi-detached just a short thirty-minute commute to somewhere equally lame, Castiel has two literal-ass wings, and yes, Susan, they kiss now. 
The neighbors are weirdly cool with it. 
For those of you perving along at home, Dean could absolutely provide a list of the hundred or so ways that having a boyfriend* with giant fucking actual wings is super hot and/or awesome.
This is not that list.
(*you can just shut right the fuck up , Sam, because it’s either this or Dean will start saying lover. And nobody needs that. Nobody wants that.)
1.  Bird mites. Holy shit. 
 2.  Sharing a bathroom. The shower curtain rod, and consequently the security deposit, are early casualties. The medicine cabinet follows swiftly behind. Shower hijinks are not even an option.
 3.  Dean comes home one day from a gig and there is a giant plastic green turtle in the backyard. A closer inspection reveals that the turtle is actually a mule for about half a truck bed of industrial dust ‘n grit. It is, in fact, a kiddie sandbox. Dean points out that they do not, in fact, have a small child (FINGERS CROSSED), so...?
Cas then earnestly shows him an entire playlist of exotic birdy dust bath videos on Youtube. 
Dean then earnestly shows him the garden hose. 
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4.  The down just gets, like...everywhere. EVERYWHERE. How many times have Sam and Dean practically sold their kidneys for a single angel feather for some dumb spell to solve some pointless Occult McProblem? And now Dean is picking them out of his damn teeth every morning. (No, gross, not because of... Jesus, no, that is not a thing.)
On the upside of this one, Dean finally has an excuse to buy a Dyson, which he’s secretly always thought looked awesome. It is. 
 5.  When Dean is scraping out the umpteenth canister of fluff he jokingly suggests they use some of it to supplement the tragically flaccid down comforter currently shaming their bed, and Castiel pitches an existential fucking sulk. Dean wants to experience happiness again, so he does not point out that it get ass-bitingly cold here this time of year, and decent bedding is not exactly inexpensive, and the Dyson kind of maxed them out on household purchases.
But whatever.
 6.  Castiel is indulging in what Dean thinks of as a sky pout when he flies right into a head-on with li’l Timmy NextDoor’s new Christmas surveillance drone. It dings the shit out of one of Cas’s left primary feathers (the scientific term is “those big motherfuckers”), which apparently hurts like a bitch. Cas is grounded for a few weeks after that and is cutely pathetic about it and at first Dean is absolutely down to kiss it better. By the end, Dean is almost ready to strangle Cas with his own necktie, but he has learned a lot of surprisingly interesting stuff about ancient Mesopotamia, like that it was super horny.
 7.  After the snow melts, Dean starts finding shit on the front step with the morning paper. It’s not even a good newspaper; Cas signed them up for the local fish-wrapper (or maybe it was Sam, before he fled for the hills— he occasionally breaks out in a  “support local journalism” rash). The crossword puzzle is insulting, but the paper does at least syndicate Carolyn Hax, whom Dean secretly suspects of being an absolute wildcat in the sack, so he grudgingly expends the calories to bring it in every morning. 
Anyway, at first the stuff he discovers crapping up the welcome mat is just shiny bits of trash — couple granola wrappers, some MGD pull-tabs, a few field-stripped twisty-ties. Probably just windblown, and he tosses it in the garbage can. 
Then a couple weeks in, things start getting...grisly? It escalates real slowly, from a variety platter of mouse bits to squirrel à la power line and then half of a dry-aged raccoon and an opossum that has recently graduated from playing dead to professional dead-being. The neighborhood crows obviously love that their front step is now a roadkill café; Dean has to bat increasing numbers of them away with the kitchen broom in order to relocate their horrible snack to the edge of the nearest storm drain.
Then one morning there are like twenty crows and they’re in just the cutest little football huddle-up around what turns out to be a human fucking finger with a retro-fun mood ring still on the knuckle (it’s feeling: Sad) and Dean fully loses his shit. 
Cas hears him freaking out and comes whomping out of the garage ready to, whatever, flap somebody to death maybe, but as soon as he establishes that Dean doesn’t need anything more than a fresh pair of boxers, he de-poofs a bit and assesses the whole human finger/crows situation in his usual infuriatingly unrushed way. The crows had mostly bounced up to the cable line over the house, safely out of brooming range, but one by one they start to drop down and hippity-hop back towards the world’s tiniest crime scene.
If Dean were five percent less freaked he’d be tempted to go inside and find out how much of a dent he can make in a six-pack before Castiel finally dings and spits out his results, but he isn’t, so he just stands there in silence clutching the broom like it’s a shotgun.
Eventually Cas says “hm,” and then he looks at the crows and makes some noises that sound like a spoon caught in a garbage disposal, and the crows make some scrawps and chuks back, and then one of them delicately noodges the tip of dead finger with its beak and then hippity hops back a foot or two, bows, and then they all fly away over the shitty little beige duplex across the street like they’re running ten minutes late to an important bird appointment.
Castiel stands up (Dean reflexively backs up into the doorway, as this involves Cas bomfing out his wings a bit for ballast and Dean has caught a blow to the nuts on more than one occasion), dusts off his goddamn slacks, pulls a plastic evidence baggie out of thin goddamn air or maybe his socks, and casually bags the finger like they’re doing a standard FBI wheeze. “So what,” Dean says, as Cas diligently zips the baggie, “the fuck?”
“Oh,” Cas says, blinking in surprise that Dean is still there and interested, “they think I’m their god.”
Dean kind of stares back at him, the six feet of dude and like sixteen feet of bird, and thinks sure, okay, but his face must still be stuck on “Tippi Hedren attic scene” because Cas puts a reassuring hand on Dean’s shoulder and adds “Don’t worry. I’ve told them I don’t require further offerings, and I reassured them that you’re my consort and were simply jealous of other potential mates.”
It takes Dean two weeks to come up with a response to that, but by then it’s become evident that no bird is ever going to shit on the Impala again, so he decides to just chalk it up in the win column and move on.
You know. The family business.
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8.  No matter how tightly he folds them, Cas can’t fit his wings through the definitely-not-up-to-code doorway of the wood-paneled family rec room in the basement, so Dean claims it as his man cave and dubs it the “No Fly Zone.” 
Castiel doesn’t find this funny, but Dean really only uses it to fold laundry. 
 9.  Transpo is an obvious issue. Cas can almost stuff himself into the Impala if he sort of reverse-cowgirls the back seat, but then the wingtips smoosh up against the windshield and Dean’s visibility is approximately zip. And, sure, Cas could fly himself anywhere they really needed to go, he’s basically a Chevy Of The Air, but sometimes it’s raining, and the seraph Castiel — Shield of God, Heavenly Soldier of the Lord, multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent, will smell like a wet fucking chicken for days afterward. Febreze does not help.
Dean spends a few nauseating weeks contemplating the purchase of — and here he learns that the human gag reflex can be conditioned, but never truly eradicated — a convertible. Once Cas brings up the possibility of a minivan or perhaps a station wagon (he’s taken to studying family motor vehicles with all the intensity of a birder with a life list) and Dean makes him sleep on the couch.
Dean gets his own living room rotation after he shows Cas a Craigslist posting for a very reasonably priced horse trailer. Castiel points out that it’s used and Dean notes that neither of them is exactly mint in original packaging either. Castiel points out that he’s not a horse, and after a few necessary but admittedly unoriginal jokes, Dean pulls up a website with an exhaustive photographic tutorial on how to convert a horse trailer “for the safe and sanitary transport of ostriches, emus, and/or cassowaries.” Cas points out that he’s not an ostrich, emu, and/or cassowary, and Dean counters that he clearly isn’t, because an emu would probably show a little more gratitude, and that’s how Dean learns that the couch has a broken spring under the left cushion. The transpo issue remains unresolved.
 10.  Dean keeps a pair of shop-grade safety goggles by his side of the bed. It’s not the sexiest look, but it turns out feathers are stabby as hell when encountered at a particular angle. Cas can do the healy thing, of course, but they learn the hard way that cornea perforation is not really a mood enhancer. On the bright side, Castiel accidentally corrects Dean’s incipient presbyopia, which means Dean doesn’t have to hold the newspaper at arm’s length anymore when he’s idly speculating what Carolyn Hax looks like below the neck. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.
 11.  You’d think that, when you’re coming down from a time-limited but incurable curse that makes you feel like every cell of your body has its own cute little individual headcold — because you missed a hex bag due to the fact that you were preparing your legal response to Sam turning up to the hunt wearing a goddamn hair scrunchy, as if he were fresh off the set of a very special episode of Clarissa Explains It All — anyway, you’d think that being wrapped in the warm embrace of an angel’s wings would be nice. 
But you would be wrong, because apparently your boyfriend has been out communing with the bees again, and those feathers pick up ragweed pollen like it’s their goddamn job, and guess what else angels can’t cure? Dean will take Motherfucking Seasonal Allergies for 600, Alex. 
12a.  One of the neighbors has that homesteading hippie brain disease that drives an otherwise normal-seeming person to brew their own beer and raise a bunch of chickens despite living within five hundred yards of a fully functioning Hy-Vee. There’s a week where one of the wee little velociraptors seems to be processing some kind of trauma because it starts yelling at dawn and keeps going until well past the hour that swearing is allowed on network TV. 
When Dean finally hammers on the front door the next afternoon the neighbor apologizes with some extremely nasty home-brew (HIPPIES) and some absolutely devastating weed (HIPPIES!) and explains that “Ginger is going through a rough molt” and then he kind of nods his head towards Dean’s side of the fence where Cas is futzing around in the squash plants and stage whispers (this is a direct quote) “You know how they get.”
Dean is about to rip the dude a new one for comparing his immortal space-kaiju lover to a fucking Australorp yard pullet when Castiel pops his head up over the white pickets and breezily contributes “Bad molt, yes, those are terrible, Dean can tell you all about how insufferable I am those weeks,” and sometimes Dean just doesn’t know why he even tries.
 12b.  The less said about angel molt, the better. 
Seriously, the freakin’ eyes-on-his-hands naked mole rat dude from, whatsit, Pan’s Labyrinth of Subtitles, would run screaming from this shit. 
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 13.  There’s a 4th of July BBQ Potluck Block Party and Dean’s inability to stand idly by while good meat is abused ( shut up Sam ) means he winds up manning the grill and dismissing the pretenders to set some strictly inedible things on fire. Cas hangs out next to him and uses his flappers to kinda whupf the smoke away from Dean’s eyes now and then, which rules. It’s actually a pretty chill event until Sharon and Don From Number 4267, The Green House With The White Trim, turn up with a giant Pyrex full of naked, still-marinating teriyaki wings. 
Sharon And Don look down at their wings and then up at Castiel and then down at the wings and then up at Castiel and they are clearly teetering on the edge of a Midwestern politeness failure-based nervous breakdown. But then Cas, smooth as a margarine commercial, gently takes the dish from Sharon’s frozen hands, examines the contents for a silent moment, and says “it’s alright. They weren’t personal friends.”
He gets an extra burger for that one.
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 14.  Cas keeps absent-mindedly trying to groom Dean — who, in case it still needs to be said at this point, possesses zero-point-zero feathers of his own — so he goes after Dean’s hair, instead. Dean has to stop him after his second hour of trying to straighten out a cowlick. “I don’t understand how you can steer properly with this deformity,” Cas says, as if it’s a genuine miracle that Dean isn’t constantly careening over ottomans like Dick Van Dyke. He’s even more horrified by Dean’s (frankly minimal) use of hair gel. “Jesus, Cas, it’s not like I’m drinking it,” he says, but then one time they have an epic make-out session shortly after Dean performs his masculine beauty rituals and there’s some smearage of various types of Product (tm) on the flappy areas. 
And, sonuvabitch, for the next six hours Cas is spirographing around the house like he has a heavenly inner ear infection, and he only stops veering into the doorframes after Dean wipes down every. Single. Feather. With mineral oil and about eighteen clean shop cloths. Dean switches to something called hair wax, which costs thirty zillion times more per ounce and makes him smell vaguely like church, but is a lot less gloppy. The things we do for love.
 15.  Seating inside the house is a bit of a conundrum, too. Cas can kind of flop his wings out to the sides if he sits in the middle of the couch, but then Dean’s stuck on the recliner, which is basically in the next county. Bar stools are disastrously tippy, Dean’s lower back and hips have not endured mumble-mumble years of hunting just to be subjected to a damn beanbag chair, and, after a brief flurry of optimistic excitement, Dean determines that they’d have to take the front door off to get a massage chair in. He finds a swing online that if, he can get the hardware properly installed in the crossbeam, is rated for up to 500 pounds, so he texts Cas the URL so he can check out the specs. After half an hour he writes back —
CASTIEL: Dean
CASTIEL: I believe this swing is intended for sexual congress.
DEAN: ...
CASTIEL: I can infer from the ellipsis that you have spent several minutes attempting to draft a response.
DEAN: ...
CASTIEL: Dean
DEAN: it’s multipurpose
  16 . On the plus side, though, big-ass wings make for a pretty good drying rack. He can get every sock in the house laid out on those suckers in a single round and, one episode of Dr. Sexy later, they’re perfectly dry and toasty warm, without any of the pair-busting casualties Dean has learned to expect from the apparently socknivorous dryer in the basement. 
Dean assumes it’s just the product of good air circulation and body heat until he realizes that he hasn’t had to toss a pair for being too worn out in...maybe six months? So he asks Cas “Are your wings... healing the socks” and after an entire Abbott and Costello routine centering around heal versus heel, Dean determines that the answer is: yes, his boyfriend’s wings are channeling the almighty power of Heaven to magically repair the socks Dean buys at Target in twelve-pack bags. On sale.
This is actually kind of sexy, if Dean is being perfectly honest, so, you know what? It doesn’t belong on this list.
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 16.  So nobody really freaks out or bursts into tears or calls the news or the FBI or anything when Cas goes out in public with him, which Dean is secretly a little disappointed about, because come on. (Maybe giant wings just reads as a gay thing? Was there an episode of Will and Grace about this that Dean missed back when he was ass deep in wendigos or something?)
But no. Dudes tend to just glance at them across the Home Depot parking lot, throw them the Mutual Dude Acknowledgement Nod, and say some shit like “Comic-con,” or “nice anime” in a knowing tone. Then they go back to rolling their carts full of gaskets or hammers or whatever back to their mom’s station wagon. 
Little girls tend to go googly-eyed — Castiel seems to fall into the same category as a Disney princess, despite the stubble and the drabcore wardrobe, and Dean can’t count the number of times some mom has approached Dean at the grocery store (like he’s Castiel’s manager?? Which, okay...yeah, actually) and asked if they do birthday parties. The money would actually be pretty tempting if Dean weren’t five thousand percent sure that Cas would get them both arrested by launching into an anatomy lesson about duck sex or how God is a loser who favors relaxed fit jeans and Wild Turkey.
The worst is white ladies of a Certain Age, and it always seems to happen in the pudding aisle, for some reason. They either go cross-eyed with horniness and become indiscriminately handsy (Dean can’t blame them for the impulse, but also back off, Karen), or ask Cas for prayers for their cat’s chronic asshole problems (which Castiel WILL take seriously). 
Worst of all is when some hippie spinster clocks them. This woman inevitably reaches right for the feathers and asks in a willowy voice if they’d ever consider turning some of them into dreamcatchers to sell at her studio, which is literally always named The Faerie’s Glen. Then Cas gets confused about why, exactly, a sixty year-old WASP in a peasant skirt would need to call on the infant-protection powers of an Ojibwe spider goddess, while Dean just wants to bite the lady’s fingers off. 
Either way, it’s always a bad scene, and many fully loaded grocery carts have been lost to the fallout.
17.  For some metaphysical reason Dean is too dumb to suss out but also too smart to question, lugging a pair of Cessna-sized flappers around this mortal dimension actually seems to tucker Cas out. He doesn’t need to zonk out every night, but he semi-regularly throws in the towel and actually crawls in with Dean for the duration. 
This would be swell in theory, but the guy absolutely cannot settle the fuck down in less than three (3) human hours, which is the exact amount of sleep Dean requires to maintain his famously sunny demeanor. It’s not just ye olde tossing and turning — Dean can handle that, sharing a bed with Sam is like sleeping next to a kangaroo with restless leg syndrome — no, it’s a nonstop parade of little flippy-flappies and shiffle-shuffles and spontaneous outbursts of preening. 
So Dean makes him a Baby Sleep Sack. 
This is something Dean knows about due solely to one super dumb hunt involving a banishing sigil that had to be drawn in — he still feels like this had to be a misprint — human breastmilk, and that was obviously not happening. But the monster of the week wasn’t going to banish itself, so they wound up at the nearest Walmart, at 4am, picking up what turned about to be an unnecessarily generous supply of baby formula, along with a fresh box of shotgun shells because God bless America*. It doesn’t work, although “lots of stabbing” turns out to be a solid fallback plan, but the point is that while Sam was debating between Digestion Support or Neurological Development, Dean acquired an unprecedented familiarity with some of the products currently available to the sleep-deprived parent. So Dean finds some DIY Baby Sleep Sack knockoff patterns online and determines he can replicate and scale up the concept with some beach towels and duct tape, and the next morning he presents the lumpy but totally functional prototype to Castiel. 
Initially Cas thinks it’s a sex thing (reasonable, it probably is), but once they clear up that misunderstanding, he’s obviously a little peeved by the concept of being swaddled as if he were a gassy baby instead of a deathless sky monster in a sexy dude-shaped can. But Dean must be giving off some serious man on the edge vibes because Cas grudgingly agrees to let Dean tape him up the next time he’s feeling dozy. 
It’s real awkward and takes forever to get Cas bundled up right, and then he’s just kind of lying there on top of the sheets, like an enormous, grumpy baked potato. 
“I could easily break out of these restraints,” he says in a pissy tone after Dean has crawled in and turned off the light, and Dean rolls over to tell him “no shit”, but then he has to stop himself because the guy is already asleep.
Eventually they upgrade to a version made out of some of those trendy weighted blanket things, a few yards of parachute silk, and a whole lot of velcro. The dude looks so damn peaceful that Dean is honestly a little jealous.
*he doesn’t, actually. 
 18.  There’s a sunny afternoon that isn’t the usual Kansas is trying to murder you level of humid so Dean rolls the Impala out into the street for a wash. Cas helps him out a bit initially, although tragically not in a way that involves removing any unnecessary articles of clothing, but Deans sends him to grab a new tub of wax from the shed and he never comes back. After half an hour Dean needs a beer break and goes looking for him, expecting to find Cas lost in thought over whether Turtle Wax is made of actual turtles, or is made to put on actual turtles. Instead he finds Cas crouched on the shimmering pavement at the back of the driveway, sun beating down on him like it has a personal vendetta, and he’s got both wings stretched out real low above the ground. Dean kind of flips out because it’s the type of pose that just screams “stabbed in gut by angel blade” or “migraine from Hell, literally.”
Then Cas looks up, which pulls his wings up a smidge too, which in turn reveals that fully half a dozen neighborhood cats are lounging in the shady patch beneath his wings, spread out on the concrete like blobs of furry peanut butter. No, it’s actually eight cats. There are eight cats.
“Ling-Ling was feeling a little overheated,” Cas says, as if this explains everything. 
And, you know what, at this point, it does.
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 19.  Dean has faith that eventually Sam or Cas or the third demon from the left in the second row will turn up a solution for the whole business. Castiel will get to tuck those bad boys back into the secret wing-closet dimension and he won’t have to worry about getting stuck in stairwells anymore, or being reported to the FAA (again). Then they can finally pack up the house, plaster over the more egregious spots of drywall damage, and go back to killing things outside of the tri-county area. The whole thing has been a pretty embarrassing interlude for a couple of dudes who’ve kicked Satan’s ass multiple times — Sam is probably telling other hunters that they’ve been deep undercover to take out a nest of suburban vampires, or a pack of ghouls with mortgages, instead of vacuuming angel down out of the AC unit and considering a Costco membership. 
And sure, there have been some...serious pluses to the situation (see: the other list), but, in his weaker moments, Dean has to admit that he’s kind of going to miss some of the goofy, irritating shit, too — like finding a six-inch feather in the veggie crisper (how? why?), or watching Cas fwap his wings out just in time to accidentally clothesline a jogger, or even the strangely compelling, sorta cheesy smell that starts to float around the house if Cas goes a little too long between hosedowns. 
He has actually grown fond of this shit. Which is 100% the least sexy thing on earth, it’s some genuinely, seriously pathetic goo goo crap, and that’s why nobody will ever hear a fucking word about it. People will ask “so what’s it like, with the wings” and Dean will waggle his eyebrows suggestively and review the highlight reel over an inadvisable amount of rail whiskey. His secret’s safe with, well. Him.
 20.  Seriously though, the bird mites. 
Gross.
826 notes · View notes
inventors-fair · 2 years
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The Holiday Spirit - ‘Tis the Season Winners
Congratulations to our winners this week! I feel like I say this every week, but it was spectacularly hard to choose winners. I might adopt @abelzumi​‘s “Judge Picks” to give some love to other cards, because honestly, everyone knocked it out of the park this week. These three just happened to knock it even further out of the park, so congrats to @starch255​, @thing1of2c, and @bread-into-toast​!
Pentaclypse Celebrant - @starch255
Art Direction: A half-decent rendering of a vulshok running towards the camera, sword aloft and glowing from the power of mirrodin’s five suns, which are gradually converging behind him. He appears to be having a real great time, in a stabby sort of way.
Just a rowdy boi, what else is there to say? The activated ability honestly put me in mind of Alara at first, and cards like Dragonsoul Knight, but the name and flavor text disabused me of that notion pretty quickly. Honestly, this is just a solid, simple card. There’s nothing super flashy going on here, but a 2/2 haste for 2 is not a bad card, and turning into a potential 10 damage to the face at instant speed is a great on-board combat trick. If I opened one of these in a limited format, I would probably be honor-bound to build around it. I’d probably ruin my poor pool in doing so, but it would be a lot of fun. And that’s what we want from Magic Cards. The flavor text is just generically cool. It doesn’t exposit much about the Pentaclypse, but it doesn’t need to. The name tells me all I need to know, and the ability gives me a sense of “increased power/energy/something as the suns come together”. It’s making me really want to see a multicolor-matters Mirrodin set, but alas, I might be waiting a long time.
Tolarian Homecoming - @thing1of2c
Everyone loves an awkward school dance, right? Right? Anyways, this card is exactly what I want out of a mythic: I open it up and immediately get excited. It’s a very straightforward effect, but it works so well. At first it felt weird reading this card, since I was seeing it as a temporary boardwipe in mono-blue, but then I realized it’s much more akin to making your stuff unblockable for the turn, with some minor upsides. Also, I can’t explain how the mechanics of this card relate to a school dance, but.. I get it? I don’t know how it makes sense, but it does. However, what won you this week was the flavor text. I’ve made it no secret that I’m a sucker for puns, but… wow. I had to read it a few times to let it really sink in, but it is a brilliant double-meaning of “hormonal teenage students” and “phenomenal reality-altering magic”. It’s just so well done.
Dubious Vendor - @bread-into-toast
Hmm, gross. The flavor didn’t fully parse on the first read, but when I went back to evaluate it, something clicked, and… I don’t wanna get on this guy’s short list, let’s say that much. The card works as a nice self-sustaining little package, killing some creatures that you can later use for more value. It’s very good. At first blush, I wanted to say this should be uncommon, but then I realized that you don’t have to sac anything, which definitely bumps it up to rare. I would have liked to see an uncommon symmetrical version myself, but I can respect the design decision here. Anyways, this is exactly the kind of card I had in mind when it came to a “snapshot” of a holiday. The festival itself is barely alluded to. Instead, we see how unsavory characters can take advantage of the hustle and bustle, and how it all ties in to a grand theme of “ending feuds”, though this guy does it in more of a “no witnesses” kinda way. A little too gross to be something that we actually see in Neon Dynasty, but a home run for form and function. Well done.
And that’s that for our winners! Runners-up will be up soon! I have a bit of a busy week coming up, so expect commentary mid next-week sometime.
judge @naban-dean-of-irritation, jingling away!
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petrichorparacosm · 3 years
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Expanding on my scary!gabe idea
I have this AU. In this AU, Gabriel still fakes his death via Lucifer and runs back into his Witbess Protection after giving Sam and Dean a fighting chance in stopping the Apocalypse. They put Michael and Lucifer back in the cage and fish Sam out, like in canon. This is where things diverge from canon completely.
First: no soulless Sam
Second: no more Apocalypse tomfoolery. The stopped the Apocalypse, they get to go back to more typical fare for hunters.
Third: Gabriel resurfaces, not held prisoner by Asmodeus and starts “checking on” Team Free Will. Slowly, he becomes fond (kinda like Crowley, honestly). Even more slowly, he starts to integrate into the group/family. Maybe sabriel or Team Free Love happens, idk, depends on my mood.
Most importantly: Gabriel is terrifying. He’s still Loki the Trickster, running around, causing mayhem and murder, screwing with reality as he pleases. He’s self important, manipulative and domineering. All Angels are Monsters, including Cas- who can be gentle and loving, certainly- but archangels like Gabriel take it a new level. Think of Q from Star Trek: The Next Generation, but more stabby.
The boys occasionally encounter him as a Trickster when looking for hunts. They’ve given up on stopping him, but they’ll try to argue and haggle for the life of whatever poor human has drawn his ire. He lovingly engineers entire fake reality adventures to make Dean confront his unhealthy coping mechanisms and fear of vulnerability. He intentionally causes Sam to have a complete breakdown and then comforts him because he thinks that it’ll help in the long run. Someone at a bar insults Castiel in front of him and he kills the offender right there. “Loki” helps Rowena harness Dark Arcane Powers through some VERY unsavory means. His True Voice shakes the bunker to its foundations. He paints the impala pink and leaves ghoul blood in the fridge.
Basically, it’s every “TFW with Gabriel” AU, but without the Harmless Gabriel trope.
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gabrielxreader · 5 years
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Wingmates
Request: Hey saw requests open and I was wondering if you could do a oneshot or mini series on a wing soulmate au but it’s an au where everyone has wings and either you can only fly when you meet your soulmate or your wings match your soulmates?
Author: Holly
Warnings: None that I can think of
Characters: Y/N, Gabriel, Sam, Dean
Words: 2,049
Y/N = Your Name
A/N: I’m baaaaaaack!
           Your feathers were literally ruffled. Sam’s long fingers combed through your wings, stroking feathers back into place following the windy storm you’d gotten stuck walking back to the hotel in. You stretched out your wings and yawned, pressing them back into his touch. Extending the muscles in your wings felt as cathartic as stretching your legs after being in the car for hours.
           Dean entered the room carrying two stretched plastic bags of take-out containers and food. His wings were covered up by a rain coat draped over his shoulders. “Alright, party people, here’s what we got.” Dean put the bags on the table and started listing all the food he bought.
           Sam quickly finished the perfunctory grooming of your wing and got up to claim food. You quickly followed. Dean’s stomach was a black hole, so you needed to take what you wanted before he had the chance. Once you had enough food, you all went to your seats and started eating. You felt like you were starving after missing lunch.
           Sam waited until he had shoveled half of his food into his mouth, taking more vegetables than either you or Dean but eating just as fast. Once he wasn’t so hungry, he slowed down. “Okay, so we don’t have a very clear lead on this hunt yet, but whatever it is, it doesn’t have a clear victim preference.”
           “Nah,” you agreed, “A teenager, a senior, and two adults, all different jobs, demographics… they couldn’t be more different if they tried.”
           “Which they couldn’t possibly have done, because they didn’t know each other.” Sam added, nodding. “I checked everything. There is nowhere on paper where any of them crossed paths with any of the others.”
           “So we look at the MO,” Dean declared, garbled by his food. Both you and Sam booed at his poor manners and he rolled his eyes. “What do we know of that kills people this way?”
           The three of you went back and forth suggesting and striking down potential supernatural culprits while you finished your food. Personally, you were rooting for an angiak because you’d never seen one before, but with the victims, it seemed unlikely. By the time your dinner was all gone, your wings were fully dry, you were ready to sleep, and the three of you were making a game plan.
           “Next morning, me and Sam can hit the morgue, and Dean, you can call Cas and see if there’s anything the police didn’t put in the official report.” You curled your wings around yourself in a comfortable resting position, like they were giving you a hug.
           “Ah…” Dean glanced over at Sam. “Y/N, I think you should stick it out here and do some research. We could be dealing with something completely new.”
           The highest arches in your wings slumped down towards your lap. “You just don’t want me to be seen,” you accused, preparing to sulk.
           “Well, you’re… you’re pretty memorable,” Sam sheepishly admitted.
           Your whole life, you had been teased and taunted for your wings. Sprouting from the edges of your shoulder blades and spanning six feet on either side of you when fully stretched, your wings were a source of both pride and shame. You would have loved them so much more if only they were a different color. The golden flight feathers and tawny, fluffier down lining the edges where wing met skin looked gorgeous together in any other context, but having the colors on wings? You stood out everywhere you went.
           Hunting was hard when no one was quick to forget your unique coloring. Sam and Dean were reluctant to take you places, even though you were just as good at fighting and investigating as they were. Dean’s smoky, ashy wings and Sam’s rich, earthy shades were beautiful, but not particularly exotic or memorable.
           You hated that your wings so often took you out of the action. They were a part of you, but so was hunting. The fact that the brothers seemed to think golden wings and hunting were mutually exclusive was easily your biggest problem with them.
           You huffed and raised your wings angrily. “Okay, new plan, Sam and Dean, you guys go to hell again and me and Cas will solve the entire case.”
           The thing about your wings was that they weren’t actually as unique as they appeared at first glance, because no matter how bizarre any person’s wings were, they had an identical match somewhere. That person was your wingmate, or your soulmate. You were kind of excited to meet your wingman (your favorite wing-related pun), but hoped he was older than you. If he was, then your birth wasn’t the event that had saddled you both with embarrassingly bright and obnoxious wings.
           Having wings that stood out was a detriment in society. It really wasn’t fair, since actual birds had an easier time attracting mates when they had brighter wings. Humans saw it the other way around. The better you blended in with the rest, the more people liked you because you weren’t disrupting their precious status quo.
           This was problematic for you on two levels. Firstly, you never blended in, so you were always interrupting the status quo. If you stuck around for more than a day or so, not even hotel staff would compliment the pretty colors. Secondly, you hated what it might mean for your soulmate. Did they resent their own wings? Would they blame you if they were the younger one? And was there ever going to be a place for the two of you where you could live comfortably together? Even assuming that one day you could leave the supernatural world behind…
           But, when you stopped thinking about the coloring, you wouldn’t give your wings up for the entire world. They would help you find that one person you were meant to have.
           “Y/N, it’s one angel.” Sam tried to convince you when bribing you with your favorite cheesy snack didn’t work. “Just one. Not even a violent one.”
           Dean snorted loudly.
           Sam glared at him. “Okay, so he’s a little aggressive,” he grudgingly admitted, “But only to people to piss him off! Which… we happen to have done. A couple of times.” You tilted your head towards your shoulder and looked at Sam judgmentally. “There was a misunderstanding,” he said defensively.
           “A misunderstanding which repeated itself a couple of times?”
           “Will you do it or not?” The taller hunter wearily asked, holding out a book and almost begging.
           It was tempting to make him actually get on his knees and beg, and record the footage as blackmail, but since it was for an actual case, you reluctantly had to take the moral option. “Fine,” you sighed, furling your wings to your back. “I’ll summon him and then you guys can take over once he’s here and not feeling too stabby.”
           Dean brought in a chocolate cake and a pie from the car, explaining them as offerings but taking the pie for himself when Sam had his back turned. Dean’s wings arched happily while he snuck into the other hotel room to eat the pie while Sam helped you to draw an anti-angel sigil, just in case. You stood in front of it and squeezed out some more blood to smear around on your palm to make sure it would activate if you needed it, then Sam left the room.
           Summoning angels was an uncomplicated process; you just needed their name. You looked at the paper Sam had wrote it on and swallowed hard, your wings curling tight with some stray nerves. An archangel. Because summoning archangels had always gone so well in the past.
           “Gabriel,” you said aloud, picturing a long-robed, long-haired guy with six white wings. You knew by now that angels never looked the way you expected, but you had no other mental image. “I pray on behalf of the Winchesters because they’re terrified you would smite them instantaneously. If you’d please come talk, we have some chocolate cake. And if you hurry, there’s no way Dean can finish all that pie on his own.”
           The fluttering of wings not too unlike the sound your own made came from behind you, but when you turned to look, no one was there. Instead the silverware by the cake in front of you clinked and when you looked back towards it, a short blond man was picking up the entire cake platter to just go at it.
           “Gabriel?” You asked, feeling a lot less intimidated now that an archangel was clearly so eager to get at the cake. Someone would be right at home in Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory.
           “That’s me, sweet cheeks,” Gabriel said, spearing a huge piece of cake onto his fork, looking up at you and stopping. “Oh, wow,” he noted, looking over your shoulders. “Nice wings.”
           You held your wings tighter to your body. Angels had never complimented them before and it made you shy. “Oh… thank you,” you said, reaching behind your back to soothingly drag her fingers over a long primary feather.
           “Yeah,” Gabriel said, putting the cake down on the table and stepping closer to you. You took a step back, and he put his hand up and stopped. “Hey, look, I just want to show you this.” He wiggled his eyebrows and the air in the hotel room ruffled. Then, with an odd popping sound, actual, physical wings unfurled from behind the angel – tawny in the downy base and gold shades along the long, graceful wings.
           He stretched them like they’d been tucked down tightly for a long time and took a look at them over his shoulders. “Would you look at that,” he said, looking back to yours. You reached out with your wings tentatively towards his, the feathers along the tips and edges splaying.
           “They match,” you gasped, snapping your wings back to your sides. “You have my colors.”
           “Um, I’m literally older than dirt,” Gabriel quipped, sending you a somewhat chiding stare. “I think you have my colors. But anyway, enough with semantics,” he dismissively stated, ignoring the fact that he was the one to bring them up at all. “Sugar, my soulmate is a human and yours is an archangel. This is going to be a little complicated.”
           “Yeah, duh, Sherlock,” you replied without watching your mouth. He was your soulmate – you weren’t afraid of him.
           He raised an eyebrow. “Ooh, I love one with a spine, I was hoping for that,” he said, his grin widening delightedly. “Let’s go somewhere more private to talk about those complications. And we can finish this cake and go through whatever else sounds good.”
           “I…” You almost leapt for it, but a shred of common sense remained. Serial killers had soulmates, too.
           Gabriel flapped his wings impatiently and a gust of air breezed over your face and through your feathers. “Come on, ditch the bozos. I’m way cooler.” He winked.
           Your mind made up, you reached for him while relaxing your wings and letting them extend closer to his.
           After five minutes had passed, Sam wasn’t sure whether Gabriel was being stubborn, you had taken the cake and abandoned your assignment, or you were being yanked around on chains by the notorious trickster. It took a bit of cajoling, but Dean, who was still sore about the Mystery Spot, agreed to go back to your room and see.
           Sam knocked and received no answer. Dean knocked harder. “Hey Y/N, open up,” Dean called through the door.
           When neither of them got a response, Sam used the key card to your room to let themselves in. There wasn’t anyone there, but the chocolate cake was gone. So was the angel-banishing sigil. In the stead of the archangel and their hunting friend, there was a latticework pie on the single bed.
           Dean immediately went for it. “Ooh,” he said, licking his lips.
           Sam sighed. “Dean, no…” Obviously it was a trap.
           Dean had barely touched it before the pie exploded, messily bursting and somehow managing to get cherry filling all over Dean’s clothing while leaving the rest of the hotel room pristine. A flag burst out of the center of the destroyed pie with “see you later, morons” printed on the little scrap of fabric.
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themyskira · 4 years
Text
WW #750 thoughts
Let’s start with the good.
Star-Blossom is the cutest cutie and I would read one million pages of her flower-filled adventures with Wonder Woman
Greg Rucka and Nicola Scott deliver a bigger emotional gut punch in twelve pages than a succession of WW writers have managed collectively in the past two years. Goddamn, guys.
I mean not to say Rucka’s run was flawless, but seeing that simple yet emotion-packed Cheetah story alongside the finale to Steve Orlando’s simplistic and insipid Cheetah story really brought the shortcomings of the past year of WW comics into sharp relief.
oops sorry this is supposed to be about the positives
SO LET’S TALK ABOUT SHANNON AND DEAN HALE’S STORY OMG. Hippolyta and the Amazons conspiring to stage a monster battle and send out a distress signal just to trick Diana into coming home for dinner?? THE CUTEST.
“When will you return home for good, Dianaki? I don’t trust that metal-and-glass city you live in.” “Mother! This is a battle!” “Are you close to vanquishing evil in Man’s World? What share of global evil would you say you have vanquished at this point? Have you considered a hearthmate yet? I would very much like to see you paired with a fine, strong woman. Or man. It is not my place to judge!” I DIED.
Ramona Fradon! Colleen Doran! Bilquis Evely! Nicola Scott! Lots of great women artists in this issue.
The bad:
Steve Orlando is still a bad writer.
I should clarify: Steve Orlando is a bad Wonder Woman writer in the way that G. Willow Wilson was a bad Wonder Woman writer. It’s evident that he loves the character and wants to do right by her. But he seems so fixated on the big beats he wants to hit, the big messages he wants to broadcast that he never pays adequate attention to how the characters get there -- unless it’s to have the characters explain in annotated essays how they got there. As a result, the emotional journeys are underdeveloped, the implications are underexamined, key character/continuity/world-building details are often flubbed, and the payoff never really feels earned.
Also, he shares Phil Jimenez’s flaw of obsessively and self-indulgently incorporating every piece of Wonder Woman minutia even when it’s to the story’s detriment. I love Peng Deilan. I think she’s a kickass, criminally underused character and I would love a full arc dedicated to her and Diana having mythological adventures together. Her appearance in this story was unnecessary and only served to slow the momentum. I love Exoristos. The reference to her was silly, and her story really didn’t need to be embroidered with American patriotic nonsense. “Reclaimed her honour in the American Revolution”, for fuck’s sake.
(not to mention the idiocy in Diana returning the Godkiller sword to Themyscira, saying “I do not want it ... death should never be wielded with such ease” and then immediately going to pick up another sword from the armoury and saying ‘btw I’m taking this stabby murderstick back with me to Man’s World, is that cool? cool.’ Orlando is so fixated on giving Diana the SWORD OF EXORISTOS so he can make a smartass reference maybe 5% of readers will get that he doesn't consider the larger implications/hypocrisy of this moment.)
Steve Orlando is a bad writer.
The new bracelets are hideous but then everything Jesus Merino draws is hideous, why is he still on this book
speaking of artists, listen, I love Liam Sharp’s art but it concerns me that he’s made it this far in life without realising that women have hips
STOP DOING THIS SHIT TO VANESSA KAPATELIS WHAT DID SHE EVER DO TO YOU
5G can bugger off I really could not give less of a fuck
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shirtlesssammy · 5 years
Text
1x22: Devil’s Trap
The Road So Far:
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Sam and Dean Winchester are hot on the trail of the thing that killed their mom. She’s dead though, and never coming back. 
Now:
John Winchester is kidnapped by Meg and her fellow demons. They know where the brothers are and they know they have the Colt. Dean decides it’s in their best interest to get the hell out of Dodge Salvation. Sam wants to keep going, fighting for their dad. Dean needs a plan and everything else stops until they get their dad back. And WOW, like to this day Sam loves powering through the tough times and Dean’s emotions mess with how he thinks at times. Resigned to Dean’s plan, Sam asks how they’re going to find their dad. They need help.
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*BOBBY ALERT*
The boys head to Bobby Singer’s Salvage Yard. 
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He’s an old friend of John’s (and a surrogate father to Sam and Dean, even if they don’t know it yet) and an expert in supernatural lore. He tells the brothers about how demon possessions are on the rise --and whatever storm that’s coming, Sam and Dean are right in the middle of it. HMMM. Chuck’s writer’s block just cleared it seems. 
Meg shows up. She wants the Colt. Sam and Bobby start to slowly back away from her, further into Bobby’s house. Meg keeps talking and walking, until she ends up under a demon trap. 
They tie her up during the commercial break. Dean asks where John is. Meg sasses back so Dean calls her a bitch and I continue to recoil at early seasons’ misogyny. Meg tells Dean that she killed John. Dean can’t process that potential reality so he punches her. Bobby points out that Meg is a demon possessing “a girl”, and I continue to recoil at the word “girl” when she’s clearly over the age of 12. 
They decide to exorcise the demon from the woman. Sam starts reciting the exorcism (and he has to read them, sweet bby). 
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Dean continues to interrogate Meg about where John is. She tells him of the gruesome way she killed him. Meg eventually gives up the location of where they’re holding John, but doesn’t know anything about the Yellow Eyed Demon. 
Dean tells Sam to finish the exorcism. Sam wants to keep using Meg for their plan. Bobby says they’ll kill the girl inside her if they do it. (And I’m like, uh Bobby, you really think letting Meg possess her is better than death??) Dean wins and Sam finishes the exorcism. 
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Meg, the woman, is still alive. Dean instructs Bobby to call 911 (WHAT?). She’s broken and dying. Before she dies, she tells the brothers where to find John. 
Bobby sends the boys on their way in search of John. 
On the road, Sam, so into his research and not having a decent tablet to work on, starts defacing Dean’s car. He’s drawing a couple devil’s traps to keep the Colt safe in the trunk. 
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Dean wants to bring the gun to help with springing John from the demons. Sam argues that John would be pissed that they used the Colt to find him. Sam wins and they leave the Colt behind. 
They find the place where the demons are holding John and realize that demons could be possessing any of the humans around. They can’t kill the humans AND the demons know what Sam and Dean look like. “This sucks out loud.” Dean suggests they pull the fire alarm to remove all the civilians. They’ll have seven minutes before the police respond. 
Sam does his best to skulk suspiciously into the building.
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As soon as the coast is clear, he pulls the fire alarm in the lobby. Inside an apartment, a creepy couple look around intently then head into the bedroom where they’ve strapped John Winchester spread-eagle-style. Kinky? ((Grimacing face))
Outside, Dean does his best to distract firefighters from Skulking Sam, who’s pulling yet another wacky prank. “I’ve got a yorkie upstairs and he pees when he’s nervous!” Dean whines. Dean, I am LIVING. Sam picks the lock on the firetruck and steals two fire-proof suits and full face masks. As they walk through the building, Dean reveals that he always wanted to be a fireman and, to be perfectly honest, I now die a little inside. My soul is a weeping storm cloud! (Send me all your firefighter Dean/Cas AUs. I’ll wait!)
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They track the demons via EMF and get the creepy couple to open the door. It’s fighting time! Our guys use their water tanks and fists to handily trap the satanic suburbanites behind a door. A little salt circle and they’ve got ‘em trapped. They find John, who’s unconscious on the bed. Sam stops Dean from untying him right away. Thoroughly his father’s son, Sam does the holy water test on John before freeing him. He’s clean!
Outside, an onlooker is suddenly possessed by a demon and rapidly after that, one of the firefighters. Yeah. It’s season one. We’re just learning about demons so there’s no flashy flashy smoky smoky. It’s just a gentle stroke and….POSSESSED. 
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The demons head inside. Time for fight number two!
Not if the Winchesters can help it, though. They leave via the fire escape and make it down to the sidewalk. Another demon heads in for the assault, beating the crap out of poor Sammy’s concussion-prone head. Dean shoots the demon, whose head sparks… The demon dies. After all, a shot from the Colt is fatal. The camera takes a moment to really mourn the human who has just died (which is honestly something I miss before we went all stabby stabby knifey knifey). 
Somehow, they all manage to drag themselves to the Impala and out to a safe house. Salt is poured. Probably some alcohol too, let’s be honest. 
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Sam admits that Dean saved him, and Dean snarkily comments on how it’s a good thing he brought the Colt after all. (Hey guys, remember that time when Dean brought the First Blade on a job without Sam’s knowledge? I love patterns.) 
Dean’s somber. He’s still thinking about the demon he shot - the man he shot. He tells Sam that he’s not bothered by killing the otherwise innocent demon-possessed man. Rather, it’s helped him to realize, “For you or dad - the things that I’m willing to do. Kill. It scares me sometimes.” 
John appears and praises Dean, telling him that he made the right call. “You’re not mad? I used a bullet,” Dean points out, looking thoroughly unsettled.
“I’m proud of you,” John says. Dean quietly - oh so quietly - thanks him. Suddenly the lights flicker. John rushes to the window and announces that the demon has arrived. He sends Sam to recheck salt lines and demands the Colt from Dean. 
Dean looks at the gun and resolve settles on his face. Slowly, he backs away. “He’d be furious,” Dean says, “that I wasted a bullet.” He points the gun at John. “You’re not my dad.”
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Dean tells John (Demon John) that he knows his dad well. And validation isn’t part of the package. When Sam bursts in, Dean tries to explain that John’s “different” now. Please, join Boris and I in this quilt huddle so we can gnash our teeth and think about Dean’s low self image and cracked father-son relationship which helped him realize almost immediately that it wasn’t his father giving him compliments. Let us collect our tears in tiny, artisanal bowls together, then dry that saltwater and sweep up the salt to make Moste Potente Demon Trappes™. 
Sam looks between John and Dean and when pressed, chooses Dean’s side. John tells them to shoot him and it is VERY EMOTIONAL UP IN DEAN’S FACE.
And I’m fine with it. Completely fine. No emotions up in here.
John turns on a dime, descending into mockery before he demon-hurls them across the room. 
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The gun falls to the ground and Demon John picks it up. His eyes glow YELLOW. Sam wonders why holy water didn’t tip them off but Yellow Eyes says it has no effect on him. (But come on, it doesn’t even...tickle?) Yellow Eyes tells Sam that he should use his psychic powers to float the gun to himself. (SOLID plan!) Sam does not float any guns. 
Yellow Eyes strolls up to Dean. He tells him that Dean killed his children via exorcism and bullet. (I have to remind myself that Dean and Sam know jack shit about demons at this point, and they don’t know that Meg swirled down to Hell for an iced coffee before heading back topside.) Yellow Eyes then shifts to Sam, taunting him about the death of their mom and Jess. “They were in the way” of his glorious plans for poor Sam. 
Dean snarks and Yellow Eyes shifts his attention once again. “You fight and fight for this family but the truth is they don’t need you. Not like you need them.” DEAN BEAN don’t listen to him! 
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Dean taunts Yellow Eyes about his fallen children. As a reward, Yellow Eyes mind-slices into Dean. Blood pours from Dean in rivulets and he begs, “Dad, don’t you let him kill me.” 
I AM EXPERIENCING EMOTIONS! (I used to rewatch this episode way more than was likely healthy.)
Dean starts to slump over, losing consciousness, when John takes control momentarily. It’s enough to stop the bloody torture, and gives Sam the split second he needs to lunge for the Colt. He grabs it and shoots John in the leg. 
John wakes up. He’s unseated Yellow Eyes for the moment, and begs Sam to kill him. Sam lifts the gun. John begs for an end to the demon, consequences be damned. Dean begs Sam to spare John. Sam, torn between them again, makes a choice. He drops the gun.
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Yellow Eyes smokes out of John and sinks into the floorboards, leaving John free and clear. And steaming mad. 
They’ve managed to haul themselves into the Impala. Sam’s driving. Dean’s in the backseat, barely conscious. John berates Sam for sparing his life, but Sam’s hopeful. They’ve got the Colt. They’ve got one bullet. They tracked down Yellow Eyes once and gosh darn it, they can do it again!
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Then…
THEN
WHAM! Out of nowhere, a semi truck crashes into the side of the Impala. In the light of the headlights, we see all three Winchesters unconscious and bloody. 
And then fade to black. See ya next season.
______________________________
The Mystical Quotes Gun Solves Everything:
“Last time we saw you, you did threaten to blast him through with buckshot. You cocked the shotgun and everything.” “Yeah, well, what can I say? John just has that effect on people.”
You get a demon in - they’re trapped. Powerless. It’s like a Satanic roach motel.
You know, if you wanted to tie me up, all you had to do was ask.
______________________________
Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 
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snarkwrites · 4 years
Text
FFT: candy apple kisses; sam winchester
Notes:
So way back in halloween, I wrote this after getting an ask on the main. It got buried but.. after finding it? I definitely enjoyed writing for Sam Winchester and cannot wait to attempt doing it more. I can’t say this is the universe I’d go with though as i’m much more drawn to the whole /angel/ and Sam one I had in mind. Idk..
Summary:
All Sam was supposed to do was protect her from the being they were hunting. But then they wind up talking. Sam saves her life, she patches him up.
Warnings:
drinking - alcohol tw, mentions of violence, blood mention. kissing.
Pairing: 
Sam Winchester x OFC, Raine
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“Oh come on. It’s a Halloween party. At least pretend you want to be here, damn.”
“If only I did. Hey, where did you get that?” Raine eyed the candied apple in her best friend’s hand, her mouth watering. She reached for it and Enid stepped back, laughing and shaking her head as she took another bite. “Over there. And you can go get your own, food thief.”
“Hey! I don’t always steal your food.”
“Only on days that end in Y?” her friend teased gently and Raine flipped her off, eyeing the table at the end of the room hesitantly. She pouted. “But it’s all the way over there.”
“So? You have working legs.”
Raine mimicked her, but she started to head in the direction of the table where the candied apples were. She made it about halfway across when someone shoved her from behind and sent her lurching forward, right into the back of the giant of a guy standing in the middle of the room.
His suit stood out like a sore thumb, despite the nature of the party and Raine couldn’t help but think that costumes had to be a big thing with the guy.
Sam Winchester turned around, glaring, thinking that it was probably Dean, fucking around when they previously both agreed that  they had to get in, get what they came for and get out, and his mouth opened and closed as his eyes settled on hers.
“Hi.” Sam finally muttered, staring down at her. The black cat costume she was wearing had him resisting the urge to stifle a laugh, because it was quite literally a lazy attempt at a black cat, with ripped black skinny jeans, a black tee shirt that seemed to cling to her body just enough and she had the nose and whiskers painted on and the ears attached to a headband. He got this sense that she may have been dragged out to this party tonight by friends. … Or maybe it’s just the fact that you want to find some way to connect you two, to make you alike… the idle thought came and went and he chuckled to himself again about it quietly before pushing it out of his mind in it’s entire. He was here to make sure the shapeshifter didn’t get it’s hands on her, that was it.
She was simply a part of the case he and Dean were working and the sooner he started looking at things like this, the better off he’d be.
“Hey.” Raine tilted her head slightly, frowning when the stupid ear on her headband dipped down again. Sam saw her gazing at the candied apples and he remembered what he and Dean seemed to think about the methods of the shapeshifter they were trying to track down currently. The use of candy or booze to lure out it’s victims before preying upon them.
“That’s probably not a good idea.” Sam blurted out, his eyes fixing on the table filled with treats. Raine eyed him, scoffing at what he said. “Oh?”
“Yeah.” Sam answered, his gaze following her gaze to the tray of candied apples. He allowed his eyes to dart around the room just to make sure that the shapeshifter who followed her in earlier wasn’t still lurking, because when he’d noticed them, it hadn’t given him a good feeling.
A crowd pushed past them, forcing them closer. Raine rolled her eyes as her friend stopped and told her excitedly, “Oh my god, Ethan is about to go to war with Nick. You gotta see it. Remember the last time they played Civil War? The entire room looked like it got visited by Linda…. Blair” and she happened to catch sight of Sam, going quiet, giving her friend a wink. “Oh… Oh..If you two go back to our place, hang a bra on the door?”
“Jesus, Enid, I literally just bumped into the guy!” Raine groaned as she bit her lip, fidgety as her gaze met Sam’s. She didn’t even know his name, they hadn’t quite gotten to properly introducing themselves.
She hadn’t seen him around before. Her mind went back to the rumors going around campus, all the missing girls and how they were last seen with some guy who nobody ever remembered seeing around before.
“And? See? I told you.. Halloween is magic.” Enid gave a smirk as if she were now justified in dragging Raine to the party, because Raine had found someone to talk to. She’d told her that moping in the dorms, or worse, studying, well that wasn’t gonna be any fun. She was obviously right because Raine was smiling right now and she actually seemed relaxed.
Raine laughed and gave a sheepish shrug as her friend staggered off, to a back corner of the room. Sam chuckled and then asked, “Civil War?”
“Basically, it’s two drunken idiots standing in front of each other. The object is to keep yourself from puking the longest.. Or completely covering the other guy in your vomit. Winner is the one still standing when their bottle is empty.”
Sam cringed. That was… definitely one thing he did not miss about college. The mindless drinking games.
This one, he found himself thinking, sounded particularly gross. He remembered that she hadn’t told him her name and he hadn’t told her his own, so he backtracked, flashing a grin.
Maybe she could tell him something.
… Oh come off it. You just want to talk to her, you’ve been sort of casually watching her all night…
… For good reason… you saw the shapeshifter  watching her come in… if you could’ve gotten to it in time, this would all be over and you could be back at the hotel, watching shitty horror movie and tossing back a few with Dean…
“My name is Sam. What’s yours?”
It felt so good, breaking Dean’s big rule and telling her his actual name. He honestly meant to give her the name on his fake badge, but when his mouth opened, his real one came out.
Raine repeated his name, -so you won’t forget it if you get lucky enough to scream it later, she quickly shoved that thought out of her head because she was not that kind of girl, and Sam asked her again what her name was.
“It’s Raine.”
“Raine.. I like that.” Sam happened to spot the shapeshifter again, in the crowd and suddenly, this urge just took over. The need to get her out of the party, take her out of the shapeshifter’s radar took over and Sam nodded to the door. “Want to take a walk with me, Raine?”
Raine mulled it over. With all the girls going missing on campus, she wasn’t entirely sure that was the best idea, then again to be fair, coming out tonight probably hadn’t been either. … But the guy looks harmless and he’s so tall… Big.. Strong… If something did happen, I have no doubt in my mind he’d protect me…. While the more rational parts of her mind argued, …. What if he is the something bad that will happen?…..
Raine went with her gut and nodded, but glanced at the table of candied apples. “Okay, but first, I’m getting myself one of those. I don’t want this party to be a total booze filled bust.” she started to walk towards the refreshment table, stopping to look back at him, beckoning for him.
Sam bit his lip and started to walk towards her, easily catching up to her in the crowd, his hand resting against the small of her back as he came to a stop behind her at the table filled with treats and candy and booze.
“Okay, alright.” he chuckled, leaning down and in slightly so he could whisper against her ear. He saw the shapeshifter lurking, obviously lying in wait.
That shapeshifter was going to have to wait a while. And it wouldn’t be getting Raine, Sam had already gotten this in his head.
Raine grabbed for a candied apple and as soon as she had it in her hands, she took a big bite, groaning in satisfaction as the sugary sweet rush hit her tongue. “I haven’t had one of these since I was twelve.”
Sam eyed the apple and then her mouth. Juice ran down the corners of her mouth, and he bit his lip, leaning in to wipe it off as he laughed. “Do I need to leave you alone with that?”
“Nah, I’m good. Just a girl who loves her junk food. So, about that walk. I’m ready to get outta here when you are, big guy.”
Sam linked arms with her, leading her towards the door right as he saw the shapeshifter making it’s way out the door on the side of the building, like it was intent on lying in wait in the alley. Sam smirked to himself. If that shapeshifter even thought he was about to get his hands on her, it was dead wrong.
Just as they rounded the corner, the shapeshifter stepped out, stopping in front of Sam, a smirk on his face.
“Sam Winchester. I believe I owe you for Oregon. But I’ll get to you shortly. Right now,” he nodded to Raine, who Sam had moved behind him, out of the shapeshifter’s immediate reach, “I’m here for her.”
“You know my ex?” Raine groaned as she looked from Tommy -or the thing currently wearing Tommy’s body, to Sam. “Tommy, don’t you have some bimbo to be on top of right now?”
“Aw, c’mon hon.”
“Tommy, get fucked. It’s over.”
“It’s not over til I say.” the shapeshifter stepped forward and when it did, Sam didn’t think, he just brandished the silver blade, smirking when the shapeshifter eyed it and then him. “The only way you’re getting to her, Albert, is through me.”
“His name isn’t Albert, it’s Tommy. And if he doesn’t get the entire fuck away from us I’m gonna punch him right in the cock, I swear to fuck.” Raine tried to step out from behind Sam, intent on settling this mess for herself like usual, but Sam’s arm shot out, stopping her. “You don’t understand, Raine. This thing is not your ex. This thing is a shapeshifter. And he’s about to join his brother.”
“Hey, whoa.. No need to go all stabby.” Raine was starting to panic a little, looking from man to man. When ‘Tommy’ opened his mouth and she saw the razors that served as teeth, Raine screamed and did the only thing that came to mind, bolting.
She couldn’t just leave Sam behind. She found herself stopping just around the corner, out of sight, watching in fear as the Sam fought what she believed to be her ex. When it changed to a snarling and angry gray wolf, she screamed and she didn’t think, she just grabbed the silver blade she’d seen Sam waving around that he’d lost during the scuffle. Running over, she lodged it between the shoulderblades of the animal and as it turned to dust, she screamed until Sam sprang up from the ground, pulling her against him so she didn’t have to look at the thing anymore.
She was shaking so hard Sam thought she’d shake apart.
He tilted up her chin. “It’s okay, you’re okay. That was good aim.”
“That was me, afraid a nice guy was about to get fuckin eaten right in front of me.” Raine’s eyes darted to the pile of dust that remained and she swallowed hard. “You’re not just some student…. Are you?”
Sam shook his head and swallowed hard. “Nope.. My brother and I, we… Hunt this stuff.”
He grimaced as the adrenaline from the fight wore off and he felt a dull throbbing in his arm. If she hadn’t stabbed the shapeshifter when she had, it could have turned into him.
And it would’ve gone straight to Dean because Dean killed it’s pack leader back in Oregon.
Raine’s eyes widened as she saw his arm. She grabbed hold of his hand, starting to drag him towards campus housing. “Where are we going?”
“We can’t take you to the ER or campus security without a whole lot of questions, okay? Lucky for you, stud, I’m a nursing student and I keep a fully stocked first aid kit up in my dorm.”
“Lucky for me, indeed.” Sam muttered as he let her sneak him up the back stairs and onto her floor. They stopped at her door and she dug out a key with shaky hands. Sam pressed against her a little from behind and she looked up at him over her shoulder as the door swung open. He stepped into the room and Raine grabbed the first aid kit, gently pushing him to sit on the bed.
She sat on the edge of his knees, and Sam took off the suit’s jacket. He tore the sleeve away from his shirt and Raine giggled, despite the serious nature of everything she’d just seen.
“What’s so funny, huh?”
“You did that like one of those guys on Magic Mike. Ignore me, I’m… still in shock I guess.” Raine opened the first aid kit and the scent of candied apple on her lips, the situation they just came through, all of it combined and made Sam lean in a little, cupping her cheek, making her stop what she was doing to look at him.
“Are you going to kiss me or not, Sam?”
“Do you want me to kiss you, Raine?”
“Well, I mean you did just save my ass out there…” she leaned in boldly, closing the distance between their lips. Sam groaned as the taste of candied apple filled his mouth and Raine shifted closer to his body, her legs wrapping around his waist as her fingers tangled in his hair.
“I’m not gonna see you again, am I?” she asked him as the kiss broke, a pout forming as all he could do was shrug because honestly, he didn’t know…
2 notes · View notes
incarnateirony · 5 years
Text
Scifi weapon design
A conversation that spawned off a mix of combat and smithing conversation from our resident nerds, smiths, and trained weapon-folk into a discussion about angel blades. Leaving a few early anchor points with names you might not recognize, but it’ll get there in a few sentences. The conversation initially started in people not understanding combat at all, and a bunch of us watching Forged in Fire on the regular, some of our history in trained blade combat IRL, or in our own weapon design, etc, but I’ll trim it down to the most relevant parts.
TLDR: Angel blade design was terrible for their use.
Final call: Castiel should have a Karambit, period, and if you don’t read all the nerdery, watch the video at the end and think about how he fights and that’ll tell it all.
CastielToday at 12:39 PM
I think that's what fascinated me about Castiel tbh, Cas fights like a Santhis without blades
Sam WinchesterToday at 12:39 PM
GOOD FIGHTERS HAVE A RHYTHM
CastielToday at 12:39 PM
yeah but I also mean his footwork and shit
Sam WinchesterToday at 12:39 PM
Yep
CastielToday at 12:40 PM
he just unfortunately has a really inefficient blade due to show design the angel blade's shape is almost like... stupid, that's for if you're dealing with heavy armor enemies wtf
Sam WinchesterToday at 12:40 PM
It's a fucking pike blade. It's meant to be on a POLE Like I get that it's the largest it could be in order to be summoned from the armpit dimension BUT STILL
Aryn Prime #TokenStraight😘Today at 12:41 PM
I laughed so hard when it was introduced It’s barely even sharp
Sam WinchesterToday at 12:42 PM
Like. I see what they were trying to do with it But they failed
Dean WinchesterToday at 12:42 PM
are y'all really complaining about magic blades
Aryn Prime #TokenStraight😘Today at 12:42 PM
TES Yes
Sam WinchesterToday at 12:42 PM
Yes we are
Dean WinchesterToday at 12:42 PM
it looks nifty that's enough for me
Aryn Prime #TokenStraight😘Today at 12:42 PM
facepalms
Dean WinchesterToday at 12:42 PM
magic realism vs Magic Realism™
CastielToday at 12:42 PM
like no seriously
CastielToday at 12:43 PM
it's the least efficient design they could have given it
Dean WinchesterToday at 12:43 PM
IT LOOKS NIFTY
CastielToday at 12:43 PM
IT LOOKS STUPID
Dean WinchesterToday at 12:43 PM
no u
Aryn Prime #TokenStraight😘Today at 12:43 PM
TEAM UP BLADE DESIGN GO
Dean WinchesterToday at 12:43 PM
don't make me stab cas with it again
CastielToday at 12:43 PM
What they SHOULD have done is given a lore where the angel blade is somehow attached to the will of the angel and can change form
Aryn Prime #TokenStraight😘Today at 12:43 PM
*RE-DESIGN HELL YEAH
Dean WinchesterToday at 12:44 PM
too much budget
CastielToday at 12:44 PM
not really
Dean WinchesterToday at 12:44 PM
less recognizable less marketable
Aryn Prime #TokenStraight😘Today at 12:44 PM
Shhhhh
CastielToday at 12:44 PM
it's the recognizable/marketable aspect but it wouldn't cost much more
Sam WinchesterToday at 12:45 PM
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They were going for this
Sam WinchesterToday at 12:45 PM
And they failed
CastielToday at 12:45 PM
LMAO shea
Aryn Prime #TokenStraight😘Today at 12:45 PM
It would explain the archangel blades Like If you wanted to go for less variety, it could be determined by the class or rank of angel
CastielToday at 12:46 PM
I can tell you right now with Castiel's battle style that is ABSOLUTELY not the kind of blade he should be using
Sam WinchesterToday at 12:46 PM
It's a four edged sword that was used for a VERY VERY VERY short period of time because GUESS WHAT IT WASN'T FUCKING EFFICIENT
Sam WinchesterToday at 12:48 PM
They thought that sharpening four edges instead of just two and keeping the blade flat would allow for better stabby ability, when, in truth, it made for a MUCH weaker sword in hand-to-hand and much more likely for the opponent's blade to slip past the guard.
Aryn Prime #TokenStraight😘Today at 12:52 PM
Re: swords I would love to see more varied weapon use in spn buuuttt it’s ending. So I get my fix here. Lol
Sam WinchesterToday at 12:53 PM
Look Blade design is something I critique very heavily inwardly. I have personal favorites that I love seeing used. I personally think the Angels would have been given a lot more justice if they were given something like a Xiphos or something like that. Still not a big blade, but MORE EFFICIENT THAN A SILVER TOOTHPICK
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Aryn Prime #TokenStraight😘Today at 12:55 PM
So, like, if I hypothetically write anything with sword/knife combat (in roleplay) you’d tell me if it was dumbass stupid
Sam WinchesterToday at 12:55 PM
Sure. LOL This is a Xiphos. Very simple in make but EXTREMELY efficient as a short-range weapon
Aryn Prime #TokenStraight😘Today at 12:56 PM
Okay, looks similar to Bilbo’s sword in the Hobbit How effective is the guard? It looks a bit small
Sam WinchesterToday at 12:58 PM
You...You don't need a guard for that kind of sword Because you pair it with a shield That sword isn't designed to catch another. You do something that my trainer lovingly referred to as "turtle up." Which is where you get behind your shield and only swing when there's an opening
Aryn Prime #TokenStraight😘Today at 1:00 PM
Ahh
Sam WinchesterToday at 1:00 PM
FYI I'm horrible at sword and shield fighting.
Aryn Prime #TokenStraight😘Today at 1:00 PM
WHO DIDN'T GIVE BILBO HIS SHIELD
(edited)It seems like more multitasking
Sam WinchesterToday at 1:01 PM
Look One of the biggest critiques I have In Lord of the Rings Is their use of short-range weapons
MaggieToday at 1:01 PM
oooo sharp and pointy end talk
Sam WinchesterToday at 1:02 PM
I'm trained in this baby right here.
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Mostly.
Aryn Prime #TokenStraight😘Today at 1:03 PM
1) feel like they just gave the hobbits short range weapons and called it a day lol(edited)
CastielToday at 1:04 PM
Before I try to resume writing I'm sitting here trying to think what kind of blade would best serve Cas. His habit of blade flipping makes me think he needs something that handles in reverse efficiently Also his movements Would make fantastic slashing motions with an edged blade
Aryn Prime #TokenStraight😘Today at 1:05 PM
2) Even though the grips wouldn't work well and blade design contributes a lot to the functionality of it.
CastielToday at 1:05 PM
And his habit of blade-blocking with his toothpick
Dean WinchesterToday at 1:05 PM
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Sam WinchesterToday at 1:05 PM
This is my baaaaby
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CastielToday at 1:05 PM
Honestly? A blade like that would be better by Cas, yes, minus the donkey bone and curse
Aryn Prime #TokenStraight😘Today at 1:05 PM
SAVE IT
Dean WinchesterToday at 1:06 PM
Cas MoC arc when
CastielToday at 1:06 PM
what kind of blade would you give Cas, Shea like specifically for his combat style
Sam WinchesterToday at 1:06 PM
Min
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CastielToday at 1:06 PM
is that a khopesh
Sam WinchesterToday at 1:07 PM
Says it's a scimitar but I know better I just can't remember the name It's basically
Aryn Prime #TokenStraight😘Today at 1:07 PM
I don't think that's a Khopesh? At least not a style I've seen
Sam WinchesterToday at 1:07 PM
The Romanian version of the scimitar
CastielToday at 1:07 PM
yeah I guess it's not scythelike enough for a khopesh A kilij? but yeah scimitar is right, or even something of similar design and a little smaller if we wanted to keep him CQC
Sam WinchesterToday at 1:08 PM
I WAS JUST ABOUT TO TYPE THAT Kilij
Sam WinchesterToday at 1:09 PM
They're usually more curved than that one. I guess it COULD qualify as like... a really slim scimitar because of the angle of the curve Lord I gotta get out of the ridiculously curved blade swords. They're meant for slashing from horseback Lets you dodge your horse easier
Aryn Prime #TokenStraight😘Today at 1:10 PM
Looks like a short sword kizlyar
Sam WinchesterToday at 1:11 PM
Yeah that's closer But it has just the right about of curve to be more effective when reversed to ride along the arm
Aryn Prime #TokenStraight😘Today at 1:12 PM
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CastielToday at 1:13 PM
A bebut would be good for Cas, it's like a 17 inch blade
Sam WinchesterToday at 1:15 PM
You know what would be REALLY good for Cas, though? And it looks like a piece of grilling equipment
Sam WinchesterToday at 1:15 PM
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CastielToday at 1:15 PM
...when ur husband likes bbq but u a warrior
Sam WinchesterToday at 1:16 PM
NO DO YOU REALIZE HOW FUCKING DEADLY CAS WOULD BE WITH A FUCKING SPIKE?
Dean WinchesterToday at 1:16 PM
Dean giving suburban dad a new meaning
Sam WinchesterToday at 1:16 PM
THAT IS A WEAPONI TOLD YOU IT LOOKS LIKE GRILLING EQUIPMENT BUT IT IS A WEAPON
CastielToday at 1:16 PM
Honestly yes and no, I honestly feel like a curved dagger with a slashing edge and a piking tip would be optimal for him Because of the way he sweeps
Sam WinchesterToday at 1:16 PM
Obviously Min A four inch spike Would not be his main weapon But he needs one
CastielToday at 1:17 PM
oh as like a side yeah but then you have the angel blade which is theoretically the same just inefficiently designed
Sam WinchesterToday at 1:17 PM
That's the kind of weapon you use to drain someone's sinuses through the base of their chin
Dean WinchesterToday at 1:17 PM
what
Sam WinchesterToday at 1:18 PM
Another personal favorite
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CastielToday at 1:18 PM
and suddenly we're in alistair territory
Sam WinchesterToday at 1:18 PM
I have one at my Dad's house somewhere nah Cas wouldn't use something like that but DAMN if it's not one of my favorite combat weapons
Sam WinchesterToday at 1:21 PM
I have never once in my life Ever thought To throw a push dagger OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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MaggieToday at 1:22 PM
i wouldn't have either, if i hadn't seen other people do it.
CastielToday at 1:22 PM
Cas could fuck some people up with that
Sam WinchesterToday at 1:23 PM
That shit would turn every hand motion you made into a deadly blow holy shit I NEED IT
MaggieToday at 1:23 PM
dude, Cas with that would be terrifying.like, more so than normal.
Sam WinchesterToday at 1:23 PM
Mom MOM MOOOOOOOM IT'S ONLY $36 CAN I HAVE IT
CastielToday at 1:23 PM
can it ship in less than 5 days
MaggieToday at 1:24 PM
so, they've shown that angel blades can be melted down to bullets. can he melt down his blade and reforge it to that?
Sam WinchesterToday at 1:24 PM
Ships within 3 FUCKNOT ENOUGH TIME Portland agenda. I will own that
CastielToday at 1:24 PM
hey shea remember how in the rp ellie was talking about melting down Cas' archangel blade to make it into a totem for the new way of binding him. That blade. Hooked eagle design
Sam WinchesterToday at 1:25 PM
>___> Ooo
Sam WinchesterToday at 1:26 PM
OH THIS FIGHTING STYLE LOOKS FAMILIAR
youtube
8 notes · View notes
ain-t-bovvered · 5 years
Text
14x17 Commentary
Zeta and Giuls scream together, and then die.
@purpleskiesandcherrypies and @dean-winchesters-bacon won’t be joining us for this one. 
Me & Zeta will watch together season 14′s episodes as they come out and we’ll do our commentary while watching.
+MASTERLIST of season 14 commentary * 
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Giulia: Yo i’m sad he ded tho
Giulia: But is he?
Giulia: YAAA sis Jo
Zee: Ouch
Giulia: Oh go fuck u nick
Giulia: You can burn. I want to use that
Zee: Ded
Giulia: REJECT HIM
Zee: Donnie
Giulia: nick such a drama queen, like his fucking brother. gasps, Lucifer/Nick is Hamlet.
Giulia: Donny babe
Zee: Stabby stabby
Giulia: Shish kebab teenagers
[14x17 Game Night ]
♪ Raindrops keep fallin' on my head ♪
Giulia: Love that song
Giulia: God I love him. IF THEY TOUCH A HAIR ON HIM
Zee: Fucking hell
Giulia: DON T TOUCH HIIIIM
Zee: Seriously ??!!!
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Annoyed Dean tho
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Oh look at the son of Satan without a soul making pop-corns
Zee: Mary?
Giulia: Yeah well she still exists
Zee: Why again?
D:  SON OF A BITCH!!
Classic Dean
J: I thought this was supposed to relax him.
M: You know, this was his favorite game when he was little.
me: *imagining little Dean playing the game exactly the same and with a high pitched voice: Son of a bitch*  good visual.
J: Everybody keeps asking me that.
Giulia: We aRe FamIlY
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J: Well, it’s annoying
Mary: 
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Giulia: It is
Zee: Did she eye roll?
M: if you ever want to talk or...vent...
J :You're here. I know.
J thinking: I just wanna eat my pop corns and play stupid game, can I fucking live?
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Giulia: Winchester game night
D: All right. Winchester game night is a go  soon as Sammy gets back here with the two double-pepperoni meat blasters AND
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Zee: Pineapple. A crime against humanity
Giulia&Jack : I like it
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Dean: why have you forsaken me, son
D: Yeah, it's like a crime against humanity.
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Me quoting [ X ]  
Zee: SEE????
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Giulia: Was that enochian?
Zee: I think
Giulia: IT’S BABE TIME
Look how cute he is.... SO CUTE , SO CUUUUTE
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Zee: Knew it Was waiting for it
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Anael: wow this place is so ...
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Giulia: U MEAN  CUTE JO
Giulia: Omg he has pancakes
Zee: Doesn’t eat them
Giulia:HE’S BEING POLITE OK. Oh look a that they have cream and strawberry *sobs* I’m hungry
A: Well, you said you had something for me.
Castiel sliding a jewlery box.
me [heart attack]
A: 16th-century Burmese blood rubies.
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LOOK AT THAT CUTE SMILE 
A:  Five carats. Excellent clarity. Castiel,where did you get these?
Zee: Lightly cursed
C: I need your help. To contact God.
Giulia: Oh honey no
Zee: I just laughed along with jo
- um so Anael was Joshua right hand? so she wasn’t that useless angel afterall. 
Giulia: Joshua is dead?
C: Jack killed Michael.
Giulia&Zee: Good night sweet prince
C: Only God can restore a soul.
ISN’T THAT A BOTHER 
A: The Winchesters -- they don't know you're here, do they?
Giulia: Of course they don t
Zee: Squint
C: Why do you say that?
A: Oh, I don't know, just a general reek of ill-conceived lone-wolf desperation.
Giulia&Zee: Lone wolf desperation
*Cas looks into the camera like in the office*
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C: will you help me or not?
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A: Not
C *smirking* : I see
A: BUT
Giulia: She s me
Zee: Mental grabby hands
S: It's not Enochian. I-I-I think it's Ancient Hebrew.
Sammy says it’s not Enochian
Zee: It’s not enochian then
Giulia: Oh WeLl AncIenT HeBreW
D: well Sammy sounds stressed
WHAT’S NEW THO
M: I just wish there was something that I c--
D:Hey. You're here, okay? You're here.
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Giulia: Mary is here everyone!  Everything is fine
Zee: Chuck I hate her
M: But I should've been here more. But I know how I am. I can be closed off...and hard.
D: Yeah, well, that's where I get it from.
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Giulia: OH NO No he definitely doesn’t
Giulia: Dean is always there. Mary just fucks off somewhere
M: I just need you to know... I'm grateful. For every day I get to spend with you and Sam.
Giulia: Listen- I’ve been on this show long enough to know that when someone starts to talk like that it’s bad news-
S: I know this.
Giulia: What the fuck is sam brain made off
Zee: Good question
S: It's from the Bible. It's -- it's Peter. Peter 5:8.
"Be sober, be vigilant, because your adversary the Devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour."
Well that sounds NICE
Zee: Trap?
Giulia: Oh come on
Zee: Trap
[enters Nick with an apron]
Giulia: OH FUCK YOU
N: What, no "hey"? "How ya been"?
Giulia: No fuck off nick
D: How?
N: Instead of rotting away in a jail cell where you left me?
N: Sort of a funny story... and by "funny," I mean a lot of people died.
Giulia: Can they just kill him
Giulia: Dean just kill him
Zee: Valid question
Giulia: Mary can you be useful and just kill the bitch
N: I mean, I sort of injected your friend with poison --
Giulia: Poor Donny
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D: Where is he?!
N: Ooh, the angry voice.
Zee: Oh ok
Giulia: Yeees the angry voice
Giulia: I. Don’t. Like. Cas. Doing. Stuff. Alone.
A:Even for us Methuselah?  You sheltered him after the Fall.
Methy: I didn't "shelter" -- We were roommates.
Giulia: OMG THEY WERE ROOMMATES
Methy: He made a mean lasagna
Zee: Loool
C: No. You'll tell me, or I'll burn this place to the ground. and you with it.
Giulia: *Shivers* yeeees
Zee: Kiddo
C: Is that really what you want?
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Giulia: SHIVERS *YEEEEEEES*
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OK BUT YOU GOTTA LOVE THE SLOW MOTION THO
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Giulia: oh Sam baby
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Giulia: YES
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Giulia: YEEES
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D: Whoa! Hey. Hey! Not now. Okay?
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D: not yet
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Stellar content
Giulia: Let Sam kill that bitch
Zee: Let someone kill him
D: I don't know. If you ask me, that psycho's seen way too many '90s serial-killer movies.
S: The antidote is Prussian Blue
Giulia: *raising hand* Knew that
D: He said he wanted to talk. So let's talk.
Giulia&Zee: Oooh yeah let’s talk
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Giulia: I’m sam
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Sam’s like “ but Deeeeeean I wanna smash”
D: if Nick looks at you wrong, you're gonna waste him.
LET HIIIIIM
Giulia: Who cut Jared ‘s hair
Giulia: I dont like it
Zee: I need season 8 hair
S: Donatello's in this because of me. A police officer is dead because of me. I'm the one who let Nick go, I'm the one who...
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please babe ....can someone just hold him
M: Nick's choices are his. Just his.
M: You gave him a chance because you felt for him.....because you're a good man.
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Giulia: Oh look at him being all cute when mary called him a good man
M: You are. It's one of the reasons I'm so proud of you.
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Anael complainig about the dust while she’s an angel.
Giulia: LOL SHE S ME
ALSO WE ALL KNOW THAT DANNEEL LOVES CREEPY DOLLS
A: God's not gonna care.
Giulia: das true
A: I believed in Heaven. You know, our mission. I believed, Castiel. But then I got to Earth, and I saw that it wasn't the paradise God promised. I mean, there was so much hate...so much suffering.
A: Why wasn't he helping them? And do you know what he said?
A: "God doesn't meddle."
Zee: Doesn’t meddle
Giulia: Das also true
A: Well, I do. So I do.
C: And here I thought you just performed miracles for the money.
A: Well, you haven't been paying attention, then. I do them for me. I don't need Heaven. And I don't need God. And... I'm happy, Castiel.
LISTEN - I STAN ANAEL
C: Really? Because that sounds lonely.
Zee: We’re all lonely
A: because we're all alone. From ant to lion to human to angel. Every last one of us.
Giulia: SHE S ME
C: God reached down, and he brought me back to life.
A: So he saves one angel...and watches millions of people die screaming, every day. What does that say about him?
Giulia *sweats* : But he saves THE angel ok
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Zee: Ouch
D: Where’s Donatello?
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Giulia: That’s the content I want
N: I get you, Dean. You and me,we're almost like brothers, you know. Michael, you,Lucifer, me --
Giulia: NOT LIKE THIS
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N: we both know what it's like to be hog-tied to a nuclear warhead, man.
Giulia: OH NOPE
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Giulia: NICE
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D: Cut the crap
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N: You're never the same after something like that, are ya? Being one with one of them. It changes you. Makes you more than human. Come on, Dean, admit it. With Michael, you were a prince. Now you're just a broken Hunter.
Giulia: Another one
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Zee: Demon dean vibes
Giulia: But also MoC tho
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Giulia: So much demon dean
D: Come on, Nick. What's this all about?
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D: He says he wants to talk to Jack...alone.
Giulia: His friggin’ cocoa puffs
Giulia: I don t like jack and nick alone Especially jack with no soul. Because let’s be real, he has so little of it ok
j: Sam?
S: I mean-
D: "I mean"? What do you mean, you mean
S: How's he even a threat?
Me: mmmm *opening big ass folder* where do I start?
Zee: Of course. He went there
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N: Even your three dads -- how many innocent people you think they've killed?
Zee: Even your three dads
Giulia: Threee dads
Giulia: You broke his heart
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N: I don't know. I don't -- I don't see it. I'm looking right at you, and I see nothing.
Zee: I see nothing
Giulia: Don t like that. Mmm mmm nope
Zee: Wth?
Giulia: He killed him
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N: Nick. He'll show us where to find Donatello.
oh...he did not kill him. oh bother
Zee: I’m done
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Giulia: We ve been knew
A: Look, I just stepped on a rat, so --
Giulia: My babe
Zee: Say it like you  mean it tho
A: You're doing this because you're afraid. Because in your mind, it'd be easier to call God than to tell Sam and Dean Winchester the truth.
C: The truth?
A: Jack's soul is gone, Castiel. And there's nothing you can do about it.
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i hate this
A: Look. I don't want to say all that and hurt your feelings, so...what do you say we call it a night?
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HI YES I’M WRECKED BY CAS FACE RIGHT NOW, DON’T TOUCH ME
Giulia: Oh he lives
Giulia: OOOOH THAT THAAAAT
Zee: Fuck
Giulia: CRIES
Giulia: tell me he gives it to dean tho
Zee: He has to
Giulia:...OH wait that’s not the same tho , meh
C: God...I don't know where you are. I don't know if you can hear me. But please. Sam, Dean -- we need you. Please.
Giulia: My heart .Cas broken voice
Giulia: Sigh
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Giulia: Sob
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Giulia: Cries
D: Look, you try anything funny, Sammy's gonna shoot you. Anything happens to me -- 
N: Wait. Let me guess. Sammy's gonna shoot me.
Giulia: Yeah to start
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Giulia: It’s been swell
A: So, what are you gonna do now?
C: Go home.
Giulia: The bunker is his Hoooomeee
C: Go home and tell Sam and Dean the truth.
Zee: Can I have the bag?
C: Anael. You know, you're not <i>always</i> right. Just because God's not with us doesn't mean we're alone.
A:  Why? Because we all have each other?
C: Yes.
Giulia: SO CUTE
J: This was filled with angelic grace.
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Zee: Can’t word. Sam needs to punch him
♪ Oh, Sammy boy, Sammy boy ♪
Giulia: Oh no Nick singing. Ptsd flashbacks from the crazy sam ♪ Your phone, your phone is calling ♪
Nick doing disgusting things
Giulia: OH WHAT THE FUCK
Zee: Cb radio. He’s awake
S: Y-You trying to communicate with someone?
N: Search your feelings.  Come on, Sam. Nobody stays dead anymore.
Giulia: fucking nick
Giulia: Fucking demons
Zee: Holy crap
Giulia: YES SAM. YES
Giulia: OH COME ON
Zee: Damn nick
Giulia: stop hitting sam’s head
Giulia: Fuck u nick
Giulia: DEAN is so calm and collected tho. MOC baby. I mean...look at his face while he’s kicking those demon’s asses. That looks way too cold ok. I don’t like it.
Zee: That final push. That’s what I saw on tumblr
Giulia: They need to stop hitting sam in the head
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Giulia: DAMN IT NICK. i have 0 empathy for that bitch now. 0
Giulia: Oh come on. Fuck. Fuuuuck
Giulia: NO. MARY NO. FUCK
Zee: Jfc
Giulia: JESUS
Zee: Hell-o
Giulia: Again with the chicken wings
Giulia: OH THANK GOD
Giulia: OUCH  but also YES and also NO
Giulia: Oh yeah Jack is definitely going in that box
Zee: He ded?
Giulia: I sure hope so
D: Hey. Hey. Come on. Stay with me now. We're just gonna play a little game.
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D: We're gonna count, okay? We're gonna count.
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D: Count with me. One.. two...
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S: ...two...
D: Yeah, there you go...three.
S: You -- You always put -- You always put me first.
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D:No, no. Shh, shh. Come on. Come on, man.
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Giulia: IM SCARED STOP IT
S: Your whole life...
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D: Okay. All right. All right. Come on. Come on. Just count with me.
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D: Sammy. Hey! Sam!
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Zee: Wtf is going on?
J: Mary? I had to.
M: Sam -- Uh, he's hurt. Help him.
Giulia: YEAH OK THANK
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Oh god Dean’s face. MEDIC MEDIC HELP
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Giulia: oh poor Dean. I NEED A FUCKING MEDIC 
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Zee: They should stop scaring people
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J: Everything's gonna be fine.
Giulia: SAYS NO ONE EVER ON SPN WITHOUT CONSEQUENCES
Giulia: i don t like mary face
Zee: Is she scared of jack?
Giulia: She right to be But she shouldn’t be like that in front of him
J: Tell me it's okay.
M: It’s not
J: Leave me alone X9
Giulia: Can she just shut up. i mean she’s not wrong. But she should shut up
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Giulia: ...SEE THEN THIS HAPPENS
Giulia: Oh
Giulia: Nope
Giulia: Dont like this
[after episode]
Giulia: PROMO
Zee: Fuck
Giulia: I HATE IT
Zee: Did Dean just tell Cas that he failed him??!!!
Giulia: No cas said that , fucking Dean said : you are dead to me
Giulia: WHICH IS WAY WORSE
Zee: Yeah that
Giulia: AND MY HEART HURTS
Zee: Can’t type
Giulia: I WANNA CRY AND I’M ANGRY AT DEAN
Giulia: i didn’t need to see that
Giulia: I can’t hear anything else
Giulia: I can’t unhear that
.
.
.SO IS NEXT THURSDAY ALREADY CANCELLED?
BECAUSE FOR ME IT IS I DON’T GIVE A SHIT . 
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.                
.
FUCK YOU DEAN , FUCK YOU.
.
.
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