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#I’m busy and I can’t ask you 3x for what it’s about where it will be posted etc

cheapcourses · 1 year

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slasherwife · 4 years

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🐻Oh, I stopped to think, how the Slashers would react to their S / O being a witch who reincarnated (doesn’t remember the past life, except how she died.), She does rituals (using some potions, animal bones and blood itself). to raise and control plants and a power related to his death (possibly fire) and have nightmares about his death that usually have phantom pain and vision (in the midst of flames and smoke for example.) kisses from Brazil 🐻

Slashers react to a witch s/o

How do the slashers react with you doing tarot, moon rituals, playing with energies, making potions and doing spells?

🌹🌛🌕🌜🌹how do they react to you controlling the elements and getting forewarning of his death?

Thomas Hewitt

Thomas is lowkey intrigued?

Doesn’t even know what this stuff is??

He’s pretty much clueless, but that doesn’t mean you can��t teach him

If you tell him you’re a witch I have a feeling he’ll be taken aback

“B-but the Bible says—“

“No no, the Bible was originally Aramaic, Tommy— and ‘witch’ in Aramaic meant poisoner, my love. I never poison anyone.” 💖💕💖💕

That should do it 😊

Anyway he will still be bewildered a lil bit, just peepin around the corner watching you doing a tarot reading like Ow0 wot

Will catch animals for you to use for rituals

Do you need human bones too? Cuz he’s got you covered 😊💕

But hearing of your past life death? Seeing you play with fire and plant energies? How the universe practically bows to you? He sees you completely different.

He was standing on the back porch, watching you walk towards him as the grass waved to you and the trees bent in your favor, and he never wanted to be apart from you 🌹😊

You are a starlit goddess, sent to him by mistake— and he thinks you belong to the stars above or in the clouds~~ anywhere but his dark, sad home 😓💖

If you have nightmares about his death, he will go under your wing —begrudgingly— under your constant protection

He doesn’t believe too much of your visions, but he hates seeing you upset and his dark goddess doesn’t deserve paranoia 🥀😓

Jason Vorhees

Whatever Jason thinks, he at least acknowledges at his zombie phase that he isn’t exactly considered natural either.

Tbh you guys would be a total power couple 🤗🥺💖

He would be probably more understanding of your occupation than Tommy, and would embrace you fully 😊

Like “I knew my y/n was special. I knew it!” 😊💕

He doesn’t like that you use animal bones though. “Why the poor animals y/n?? Use human bones instead— here.”

He thinks you have superpowers hah

He loves when you raise the plants to be alive again— it’s like you keep it spring all year and he loves it 🥺💖💕💖🌷

Will be happy that you have them so you can protect yourself if need be 😊

Once you tell him about your past life death and how you can manipulate elements and that you’re getting forewarnings dreams of his death... he won’t be too worried.

First off, any thought of you dying in general is caused him literal physical pain. So he didn’t like you talking about that 🥺💕

You controlling the elements, Fire? He will follow you anywhere hon’. 7’1 immortal zombie legend murderer and powerful sorcerer/ess/witch? Biggest power couple 💕🙌🙌

And then lastly, the only thing Jason will worry about from your dreams is how you will manage with out him. That’s literally it 😂🥺💕💖

He knows he will come back eventually, you can’t kill Jason forever— he physically can’t stay dead lol

He will sheepishly miss all the crazy sex you guys have been having, but you stop your worrying! Jason’s like “my poor bab don’t be so scared— I’ll always come back!” 💕💕💖💕

Michael Myers

Will 1000% pretend your powers don’t interest him.

But just know that he’s peeking around the corner when you absent mindedly play with the candle’s flame while mixing a clarity potion, literally on his toes 😂💕

He loves to be around you when you’re doing candle work, making a potion, practicing controlling the elements— because you exert this powerful and foreign energy aura that’s comforting to him 😊💖💕🥺

Another slasher that will go on a midnight trip of catching animals for you because “ANYTHING FOR YOU, MY GODDESS— 😫💖💕💖💕”

But you wouldn’t even ask for it, he would see you making spell charms or bags with animal bones in it—

And then next thing you know he drops a sack of birds and a goat next to you and walks away???🤭

Do I know where he got the goat?? No I fucking do not xD but it kinda stank so you had to drag it out the back door and get to work 😣

And then obviously he’ll give you human bones as well lel 💕

He likes hearing of your past life death, he thinks it’s cool lol 😊💖

Getting forewarnings of Michael’s death? K.

He wouldn’t be bothered really, but he obviously doesn’t want to die— he’s too stubborn for that 💕💖

This is the only time he will ever listen to you xD barely

Basically like “too bad—I’m going out tonight. But I’ll ‘be careful’ or whatever the fuck you said.”

Another huge power couple btw 🙌💖💕

Bubba Sawyer

He thinks you’re so cool 🥺

He’ll think your tarot readings are a game and he’ll pick up random ones and look at them

(He likes the pictures) 😖💖

He’ll be so curious, like snooping around when you’re doing a ritual, snuggling up against you when you’re saying an incantation—

He’s like a cat💖💕

Oh you like animal bones? What a surprise! His house is literally full of them. 😶🌷

Ya you have an endless supply of animal bones— you won’t ever run out 😂💖💕

You died in your past life? WHAT? Why? *crying*

He will snuggle you all night when you tell him that 🥺

Also thinks you’re a goddess that was sent to him and can NOT wrap his head around the fact that you two met by chance 🥺💖

Cherishes you every single day and will probably be super clingy because you’re just his strong woman who deserves everything for the queen she is— *INHALE* yeah. 😖😖💕💕💖💖

Wait. What? You dreamt of me dying? What abt you will you be okay my little blueberry muffin??

He won’t careeee but at the same time he wants to stay with youuuuu😖💖💕

Just so he can stay alive to be with you, he’ll do everything you say to stay safe and will follow every protocol much to Chop Tops annoyment. 🤷‍♀️😊💕

“No, sorry—Y/n says I can’t do that.”

I love you two together, it gives me the feels 🥺💕💖

Bo Sinclair

Ooooh niceeee

Lowkey interested but probably won’t show it 😆

Like u do u— don’t know don’t care as long as you keep making me pbjs

Prepare for bewildererd looks when he walks in on your using blood/bones for a particular ritual 😳

Like you’ll just be sitting on your bed with your eyes closed, holding a black candle trying to banish negative energy and he’ll walk in—

“Want me to leave...?”

“Shhhhhhh....”

He’ll probably come home one day with an animal skull or something like, “babe I found this owl beak... you want it?” 😂💖💕

He’ll probably tell Lester to catch something while he’s out and about, and then take it and tell you that he got it for you all by himself😂💕

Lowkey scared of you sometimes

He’s not scared of blood, but like y are u using it..??

Tried not to piss you off too much so you hex him or something xD 💖💕

You: *manipulating fire and wind out back*

Bo, walking in on it: bitch what the fu—

If you tell him you’re getting visions of his death, he’ll probably be super skeptical and give you it a smartass remark— probably ask if you’ve been smoking the mugwort too 😳😶

But if you persist on it— he’ll get frustrated but will listen to you because he doesn’t like seeing u upset 🥺🌷

Brahmsie

Bitch wtf u doin?

So confused— explain now

This little shit will go through all of your stuff and take what he thinks is cool and will probably piss off your deities (if u have deities) 😂

You’ll have to make him apologize and have him give it back~~which I wish you the best of luck w 😂💖💕

You’ll just be minding your own business when Brahmsie is looking at your things—

The he legit looks at you dead in the eyes and takes your dragon figurine and disappears into the walls, much to your panic 😓😶😶

But since you can do all this stuff, now 3x more scared of you even tho you’re a small bean in comparison to him— 😳💕🌷

You threatened to hex him if he didn’t start actin right and he started being nice real quick 😂🙌💕💕

Where did u get that blood? 😶😳

Using animal bones? Use the dead rats y/n! Duh!

Bonus for him if he manages to sack the grocery boy and take his bones too 😶💘

“ANYTHING FOR YOU MY QUEEN!” 🙌😭💖💖

If he finds you controlling the elements and sees u controlling fire.... he leaves immediately dont you know he’s terrified of fire??

Yeah uh he demands in a shaky voice that you stop doing that or else ☹️😶he doesn’t like fire at all

But that’s okay cuz you’re still the fuckin coolest person hes ever been w! 😆💘

Wait wut...? You’re saying I’m gonna die? UWU SAVE ME Y/N I DONT WANNA DIEEE

He will literally get so scared when you tell him you’re getting forewarnings of his death, and will go under your wing definitely the most willingly 😅💓💓

Whatever, more cuddles for him! And some other things 😏

I hope u liked ittt! Sorry I’ve not the time to post ANYTHING lately— it took me 5 days to finish this one because of how busy w school I am— but I hope you like it!! 💖💖

#slashers #thomas hewitt #i made a thing #jason vorhees #Michael Myers #bubba Sawyer #bubba sawyer headcanons #bo Sinclair #Brahms Heelshire #Thomas Hewitt headcanons #Jason Vorhees headcanons #Michael Myers headcanons #bo Sinclair headcanons #Brahms Heelshire headcanons

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youwontlikethisblog · 3 years

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How Was I Supposed To Know!

When Betty got her new look Armando had to place her feelings before his own. He had to make himself not only think about his own interest but also Betty's and learn to talk to her as a person instead of just his assistant that he confides in.

As both Betty and Armando said they had a cerebral relationship so their topics of conversation didn't go into the personal, at least Betty's didn't. Armando has always been open about his commitments to the family, Marcela, and Eco Moda and the struggles that come with that to Betty. He has tried to resonate and explain his side of things and as he says, he likes explaining himself to Betty.

So far their relationship has always been one sided. Betty is the one that is constantly giving in terms of emotional support and time while Armando doesn't really sacrifice much, in fact he doesn't sacrifice at all(And saying that he sacrifices himself by kissing Betty etc. isn't a sacrifice he's doing selflessly, but selfishly so it doesn't count as one). He was trying to to be careful of his temper way before he was aware that he could have feelings for her. He didn't always stick by that but there was an attempt at it but that's not enough.

The day Betty went to get her Make-Over Armando was already busy thinking of her. When Freddy asked him to not fire Aura Maria for being tardy again Armando said "Look Betty" looked confused, shook his head and then proceeded to talk about the subject at hand.

When Betty arrived to Eco Moda and he saw her he didn't react on the spot, in fact when he got mad that she had interrupted(honestly it's funny because when they end up sleeping together she ends up interrupting his entire seggs life.) his make out session with Marcela when he saw her reaction all of a sudden the anger vanished and a guilty and concerned expression sat on his face. When Marcela started to make fun of her Armando got angry at her and didn't even continue the flirtatious conversation he had been having with Marcela or make a move to return to kissing her. He gave her his back while in the past he went after her when she'd stop the make out when Betty would interrupt them. This time it's he who doesn't want her.

This starts as a snowball effect. The night before he witnesses people making fun of her and disrespecting her which caused him to get so upset and furious that someone would do that to Betty, again he starts slowly thinking about Betty's feelings before his own.

The next day that carry's on when Patsy Pats, Marcela, and Hugo make more fun of her and it contrast with a previous scene(You Betrayed Me! post and Betty's New Look post). He once more gets angry at them, shows his disapproval and visibly shows that he is on Betty's side on something so personal, even when he doesn't like it because he's thinking about how Betty must feel and he gets upset that people dismiss her or as he says; disrespect her.

What does all of this even have to do with this episode(The morning of Betty's B-Day)?

Armando shows up telling Mario that the previous night Betty was very passionate and that he had to stop her three times, that she said he loved him, that this and that. Y'know classic complaining.

Mario celebrated that Betty said she loved him, that it's what they had been working towards(I've always found it so gross how Mario does feel like he shares in that relationship and in turns Betty(this is a foreshadowing of the future). However, Armando has allowed this and he has welcomed Mario into that relationship and made him a third participant, even if it's by living through it vicariously). I will emphasize that Armando doesn't really go into detail in the scenes we get, he mostly only goes into it when he is being clueless about what to do next or when he's frustrated. Most of the times he withholds giving Mario too much detail, but he still does. It's like one moment he's doing good and I'm cheering him on and then the next he trips and falls backwards like ten steps back and I'm yelling at my screen!

Anyway lets get back to this.

Mario once again makes fun of him and tries to make him uncomfortable with telling him that he needs to put out or tell Betty that he'll do it through telepathy or artificial insemination. Armando tries to explain that he won't ever do that with Betty.

I know I keep explaining this little by little and because of it I keep bringing up stuff that I've already addressed in previous post but this is a slow burn so it's worth it.

Armando has always only ever felt physical attraction with women. What is physical attraction? Physical attraction satisfies the human body's desires and wants. As Armando said in the past; with the models he had been hooking up with he did want to sleep with them but as soon as it was over with he didn't feel anything. This correlates with his borderline s. addiction. We understand how and why he sleeps around with models. He is superficial(obsessed with perfection, especially when it comes to women's body), he has no "real" control over his life or future so he does it to feel like he does have control in choosing who he sleeps with and for escapism of his reality. We understand that so lets move on to the next topic of this subject.

He feels physically satisfied with the models and Marcela but emotionally he no longer does. So when it comes to Betty he deflects all attraction to her because he physically isn't attracted to her(I stress this out in mostly every post lol). However, Armando has a very strong emotional attraction to Betty, one that moves him and motivates him behind the curtains.

What is emotional attraction? Emotional attraction is to satisfy the human's emotional and spiritual body. In other words; one feels a satisfaction when all their emotional, spiritual, cerebral, and none physical needs are met and because of this their attraction continues to grow with that person.

While Physical Attraction is fleeting and not reliable; Emotional Attraction is stable and reliable.

Due to the fact that he has been a man who has only experienced physical attraction to women he ignores his emotional attraction to Betty and because of this spends most of his time confused about his feelings.

I don't want to always be repeating myself so I recommend you guys read(in case y'all haven't yet) my posts Betty, My Betty parts 1-3, Tonight A Dream of Mine Has Come True, You Betrayed Me!, Betty's New Look(I will edit this list in case I missed a post, I've been writing a lot of them lol).

In my post: Betty's New Look, I explained a lot more about Armando's seggsual behavior.

To a certain degree Armando does view Betty as a woman but not to the point where he is eager to jump her bones and it isn't until after they do(😏) that he does become eager for her and because it's all been based on an emotional attraction what he feels for her is something that makes him feel completely satisfied, both physically and emotionally.

Take notice of the previous episodes, when Armando and Betty were having emotionally charged conversations Armando was a bit more welcoming to kissing Betty. Before he fought Roman and Co. they were about to start a make out session(Roman make a joke that they were going to have a free 3x showing and the next day Mario said that if they were making those comments that it meant he and Betty must've been really busy) However days later when they're at the club Armando isn't all that eager to kiss her. He does kiss her but they're half honest kisses. It isn't until later that he's dropping her off, after they've somewhat had a conversation that involves their feelings that Armando welcomes and even initiates the kiss with Betty but when she starts getting eager he pulls away(I Don't Believe He Desires Me Part 2 post) and tells her that they can't get carried away and they have to be careful.

Since Betty tried a new look that same day Armando had to finally accept that he was her boyfriend and in a relationship with her but he also had to learn to take into account Betty's feelings and notice them as well. In that same episode he also had to begin to accept the idea of entertaining the idea of physical interactions with Betty.

This carry's on to the next few episodes. Armando is now somewhat aware of Betty's emotional needs and her desires and he is now personally affected when they are not met, especially when Betty is treated poorly, he takes it very personal.

In a sense one could say that Armando is coming around to the idea that he could possibly be feeling an emotional attraction to Betty.

As Mario and him continue to discuss how to go about cooling off Betty or whatever they hear a commotion outside of his office. The employee's are singing Las Mañanitas to Betty. They exit the office and Armando stops on his tracks as he realizes that they're singing that song to Betty. He visibly starts to breath rapidly and touches his forehead.

Now ironically both Armando and Mario share the exact same expression when they notice that Betty is the one being celebrated(although Mario had that same expression since he left the office lol).

Mario tells him "Ah, Betty's Birthday." Armando looks at him with his mouth opened.

"But I didn't know, she didn't tell me anything." (*1)He seems a bit angry and is still breathing rapidly.

"Well go on, congratulate your girlfriend."

Armando gives him a quick glance but his expression remains the same. He then stares at Betty who is across from the room. He swallows hard and clears his throat.

He no longer wears an expression on his face, even his voice is very professional.

"Betty we didn't know it was your birthday."

Bertha gasps and says "Sir you were the only that wasn't aware because everyone here knew or no?" Everyone agrees with her. Even Mario who is next to Armando says that they all knew. He's lying though because he too had the same surprised expression and now he's doing it to mortify Armando. Armando turns to look at him with wide eyes and his mouth open, he's surprised.

Could you imagine how he feels? His best friend who is a complete and total sleazbag "remembers" that it's Betty's birthday and that he knew all along but he, who is supposed to be the morally gray and better version of Mario, wasn't aware of his assistant's birthday, who so happens to be his girlfriend? He had two very important reasons to remember it. He must feel like crap.

"Listen Betty, allow me to cordiality extend a happy birthday greeting to you." He takes a few steps towards her and it looks like he wants to say and do more until he stops himself and notices everyone around. Betty too took a step or two forward but stopped as well. He slightly bows down and says "Happy Birthday." Betty smiles and nods once. Everyone starts chanting for him to give her a kiss. Armando turns to look at Mario and swallows hard and they awkwardly start to dance.

Betty leans her head up and moves from left to right while he licks his lips and he doesn't know where to kiss her but goes for the top of her head, well her bangs(it honestly looks like he was going to go for the lips for like a brief second lol).

Everyone starts to clap and Freddy, being the life of any party starts to go on a speech.

"Long live the party and the atmosphere of Eco Moda! Sir. Mario Calderón are you going to manifest yourself with another small kiss?"

Mario's expression is with wide eyes and a mouth hung open; shock. Armando looks at him with the same expression he always has in front of the employee's. Poker face however when Mario agrees Armando arches his brow at him. As Mario steps away to go give her a kiss and congratulates her, Armando is looking down and shifts.

After watching this exact same scene many times I find it interesting to say the least. Maybe I am reading too much into it but for the sake of this we'll say I'm not. Remember how Mario reacted when Armando said that Betty told him she loved him? He said that it was what they had been working for. To some degree, because Armando did somewhat share about his nights with Betty, Mario and Armando have been sharing Betty. Mario is incharge of the mechanical/details department and spelling things out for Armando so he can be successful in the relationship while Armando has been incharge of the mental, emotional, and physical department of the relationship. They are both Betty's boyfriend, except she is only aware of one. Mario is very aware of Betty's emotional and even physical needs because of Armando and he is incharge of hyping him up to commit to the plan, though on his part he does it for the sake of his money and his reputation, Armando does it for his ego, his confused feelings and lastly the company his parents funded and started(which involves Marcela and Daniel too and that's a whole other thing).

It also shows us that if Mario had taken Armando up on the plan that he should be the one to make Betty fall in love that he would have done so and even succeeded as he doesn't hesitate, walks towards her with his arms extended, touches her shoulders and gives her a kiss on the cheek all while smiling.

At first I thought, maybe he's amused that Mario now will have to do what he has had to do, or at least get a some taste of his medicine but as one does in body language, lets look at the context.

Before Mario agrees to give Betty a kiss when Freddy asks if he'll give one to her as well, Armando slowly turns to look at Mario with no expression on his face, except his eyes focused on him, when Mario agrees he arches his brow for just a second, as Mario walks with his arms extended towards Betty, he looks down, takes in a breath and closes his eyes.

I'd say there's a mixture of feelings going on here. For one, (*1)he's angry at himself for not remembering or knowing it was such an important day for Betty and two he doesn't like that Mario will kiss Betty, he feels frustrated over it all.

By the next camera frame of Armando we see him giving Hugo his angry face which is squinting eyes and lips on a line. His arms are folded in front of him.

Hugo as always insults Betty but the cuartel starts to chant for him to give her a kiss as well, who says that he won't because he has a cold sore, as he passes by we see Armando keeping his eyes on him, while still slightly squinting them, and his lips in a line but as Hugo gets closer to him his lips get tighter, he closes his eyes for a second or two and when he opens them briefly rolls his eyes and looks at the opposite direction for a second. We know Armando really dislikes Hugo but before at least to he tolerated him, however since the day Betty went and changed her look(for that day) Armando seems to have a special disdain for Hugo.

"Well then Armani, tell me did you give her her kiss already?" Hugo walks behind and stands between Mario and Armando.

Both Armando and Mario share different expressions. While Mario looks like he's throwing himself a self-pity party and wondering where his vanity and ego have gone Armando looks mad.

Marcela has now wrapped a hand around Armando's bicep and with the other she places it on it as well while she stares at him with a smile on her face.

"Yes." he respondes to Hugo, annoyed. His lips are drawn in for a brief moment(pursed lips). Previously he had been staring once again at the opposite direction of Hugo he stands to his left, now he stares to his right, but not at anyone or anything in particular. When he is done responding to Hugo his eyes move to glance at Betty, who looks at Marcela's reaction.

Marcela drops her hands and stares at him with disapproval. Armando once more, stares off to his right, with squinting eyes and lips tight in a line with his hands clasped in front of him.

Betty seems satisfied with Marcela's reaction.

However again, the difference in behavior between Armando and Mario is really interesting. While Mario scoffs but seems amused by Hugo's "jokes" Armando never changes his expression from anger except when he glances at Betty for a second, his eyes slightly widen when he hears Huge say "Ugliness is very contiguous." and then again glances away, squints his eyes, and then glances back at Betty.

Then Hugo proceeds to seggsually harass his bosses by groping their butts. Marcela looks at him amused, Armando widens his eyes but his mouth remains in a tight line and Mario turns surprised at Hugo.

I've got a hate-neutral thing with Hugo if I'm being honest. Whenever he's only interacting with Inesita I laugh at his "jokes", I say "preach" when he lectures Armando and Mario, and sometimes when he interacts with Armando I find him amusing but most of the time he could catch these hands. The actor is amazing. Hugo is a character that I personally don't like but even then I still find some of his scenes crudely funny and I hate that I do.

"Congratulations, Beatriz" Marcela says, Armando glances at Betty once more, his eyes constantly change expression when he looks at her, they go from squinting to softening, but his mouth still remains in a line. Marcela then walks away after Betty thanks her.

Armando then turns to look at Mario who is nodding and looks like he can breathe again,(but his expression that shows the slight smile for a second isn't because he actually does feel relieved, everyone is "laughing" at what Hugo did and he's trying to play it off cool. We know Armando feels uncomfortable with Hugo behaving this way towards him and we know that it affects him deeply(https://youwontlikethisblog.tumblr.com/post/655584505462161408/brutas-la-policia)) however he is still preoccupied with the second problem at hand, Betty's special day(I mean it really is y'all) and him trying to make up for it. However it's him, the not detail oriented at all Armando, who can't remember anything if it saved his life, who isn't very bright when it comes to feelings, he on the spot, in a way that doesn't alert anyone of his affair with Betty, needs to come up with something right there and then without the intervention of his very detail oriented side kick because it would alert Betty that Mario knows.

Armando suggest that they all buy Betty a cake and that they celebrate her birthday later on in the afternoon at the office(going in hand that he wants for Betty to cool off) and looks happy with the suggestion.

"No Sir we already took care of everything." Bertha replies.

"Well in any case, happy birthday, Betty." Armando smiles slightly when he looks at her but as he looks away from her and down his smile falls and he has a solemn expression on his face. He turns and starts to walk slowly.

The girls then start to question Betty about her boyfriend.

"What did he give you?" Sofia asks.

"Nothing yet." Betty replies timidly.

"But I imagine that he called you really early in the morning to sing Happy Birthday my love or no?" Mariana asks.

We get a camera frame of Armando and Mario standing at a distances eavesdropping the conversation. While Mario seems concerned(Remember they still think Nicolas is competition) Armando looks curious and mad as he observes Betty.

"No, minimum he presented himself in the morning and filled you with kisses."

"No, we haven't spoken yet." This implies to Armando that Betty is talking about him, not Nicolas.

"Ay no." Bertha inhales. "What a a downer to have a boyfriend that's not romantic, can you believe that?" While Armando attempts to keep a poker face, his eyes are still focused on Betty and he feels bad. Mario aka Mr. Dimples aka the Love Guru, aka Betty's third boyfriend(if we include Nicolas on the list) looks amused though because he knows he can have a field day with Armando over this.

"Would it be that he doesn't know? But that's crazy, no?"

"Sofia" they gasp.

"Enough Sofia, calm down y'all, don't y'all see that they barely started dating? Lets not ruin Betty's Birthday." Mariana aids Betty.

"Well I think it's really sad. Minimum he should manifest himself later on." Sandra says while Mario and Armando continue to overhear. Armando starts to bite his bottom lip(self soothing) and looks at Mario from the corner of his eyes who gives a slight nod.

They've got their solution!

Armando must manifest himself later on.

The last scenes I'll discuss on this post and will be "brief".

The following scene of Armando and Mario in his office(With the doors closed) show us a very pained Armando who is beating himself up while he gives Mario his back who makes Armando feel a lot worse.

"Did you see? Did you hear? What a disappointing guy." Armando looks pained. He blinks rapidly, grits his teeth and breaths rapidly as well. "See this poor girl finally has a boyfriend and how does he celebrate her birthday?" Armando has his brows furrowed. "with total abcentism and indifference." Armando now squints his eyes and draws in a quick breath while tightening his lips. He now sees that Mario is trying to make him feel worse instead of helping him.

"Enough!" Armando yells at him. "Damnit Calderón!" he walks to the other end of his desk and turns to look at Mario with a sad and defensive look. "I didn't know it was her birthday, I completely forgot(indicates that he actually knew the date) besides it's not like I was supposed to know!" He rebuts. "I was with her 'til midnight and she didn't say anything!" he whispers worried.

"Brother she's a woman. She probably expected that you'd remember. She probably thought that last nights outing was to celebrate her and midnight came around and what happened? Nothing. Nothing" he hisses at the end while squinting his eyes at Armando. "Could you imagine what she's feeling right now?" Armando parts his lips just a bit, he grits his teeth, his eyes squint slightly while his brows furrow and he has his arms folded in front of him. All of this helps us draw the conclusion that he's mad at himself and feels really guilty and worried about it all.

"What happened to your love, you obsession for her?" Mario's tone allows us to know that he isn't really criticizing Armando. He is enjoying his pain and enjoying the control over it.

"Stop criticizing me, Calderón." Armando looks at him annoyed and points at him. He straights up and walks behind his desk. "Stop criticizing me and help me find the solution, yeah? Please." he begs.

Then Mario starts to give him his stupid suggestion which is his version of the Marilyn Monroe singing Happy Birthday to Pres. Kennedy. Armando tells him that he prefers that he give him a card and a gift, that he'd conform to that.

"Yeah of course, a [insignificant] gift and card, a pat on the shoulder and done 'I saw you, good, what a pleasure' done no?"

"Well like Freddy says, forgive me but pardon me, I don't have anything else to offer Betty."

"Man what about an invitation to go out to dinner tonight?"

"An invitation for dinner? Sneak away from Marcela? For what? So she can kill me?" He hisses this = his main problem and unlike before by the lack of "worse/worst" we can conclude that that is biggest worry next to the one he names next "beside with the state Betty's in? No."

"Well yes you went out last night but what happened? Midnight came and you didn't celebrate anything. She continued being more Cinderella than ever before and you? Shun her out all night and you want her to forgive you? With an insignificant gift?"

"Do you not remember the fierce state Betty's was in? Do you not remember that...fire she's had lately?" he asks urgently. "Besides it's her birthday. I won't get out of that if I take her out tonight." He tries to defend.

He feels terrible for his emotional callousness towards Betty and how that has to affect and hurt Betty. Armando has gone through a transformation in the past few episodes where now what ever happens to Betty he feels personally, it's called empathy, but it is magnified by the intensity and growth of his emotional attraction to her and while he gets angry when people disrespect her, he now feels angry at himself that he's the one that's hurting her in that moment and guilty for the pain she might be feeling.

However, when Mario again starts to suggest that he needs to take her out despite her fervent state, Armando's lack of(ignorance of) physical attraction to Betty is highlighted as now he cares more about himself than he does about Betty's feelings.

What does Mario get out of this? Well he obviously doesn't want their hard work to be thrown out the window but that's not really it. Since the start he has always been suggesting or insinuating that Armando sleep with Betty. What does that have to do with the plan? Aside from the fact that he's a deprived man? I think he just wants to make fun of Armando for it and hold it over his head to say "See you're not so perfect, you're worse than I am because at least I don't sleep with "exotic" women I find repulsive and do it for money. I do it with women I don't manipulate like you have with her."

"Man I don't know." Mario throws his hands up in the air. "This is your decision. You're touching very sensitive points in the soul of a woman." He exclaims and points his finger up as emphasize. Armando now looks at him with furrowed brows and wide eyes while he rubs his lips with his fingers(context clues allows us to determined that he does this to self-sooth because he feels stressed). "You could be throwing everything, all of our work, over the ledge. You could be creating a resentment factory just three meters from where you are." He points to her office. " Like that!" He snaps his fingers and Betty enters the office. "Just like that." He continues to snap his fingers and turns to look at her.

"Yeah bring it immediately, don't forget about the thing I made you responsible of." Armando looks worried.

"Yeah. Count on that." Mario nods and looks determined. Betty looks at him nervously and then proceeds to walk towards her office.

Now Armando doesn't look at her, instead he worries his bottom lip, stares at his computer, fidgets with his fingers and thumb and has furrowed brows, indicating stress and guilt.

"Beatriz." He calls out to her, looking up but not towards her. He finally lets his guard down as he drops his hand and shakes his head and worried he asks her " Why, huh?" he finally turns to stare at her and then spins on his chair to her direction "Why didn't you tell me anything?" he stares at her and stands up. "Why didn't you tell me you were turning years? I'm feeling really awful, I didn't know anything." Armando continues with the worried expression and his tone of voice matches this. He does feel really awful about it all.

"Oh sir... I was just embarrassed to." Betty timidly says and looks down and fidgets. Her behavior is a lot like a kid here where she shifts on her feet and sways around gently and stares down with a shy smile on her face.

"How are you going to feel embarrassed over your birthday, Betty? It's a very important date for me." he tries to reason and explain to her. "I wanted to share it with you." he says sincerely.

"Oh Sir, I know you're a very busy person with too many problems like for me to expect that you remember something that is especially really dumb like this." Armando looks hurt over this and also frustrated.

"It's because this isn't dumb for me, not at all. This date isn't dumb for me, Beatriz." He states.

"But it doesn't have an importance, Sir."

"No, for me it does have importance, your birthday is important to me." He is now moving from frustrated to being mad.

"No it doesn't."

"Yes it is." He tries to "play" along.

"No, Sir." Betty timidly smiles and replies.

"I said yes!" He screams at her. "That for me your birthday is important and what? For me it is!" He yells and stares at her with wide eyes, flared nostrils and lips tight and then he realizes that he screamed and yelled at her. "Your birthday is important.." He widens his eyes and walks to sit behind his desk.

"Yes, Sir." Betty looks down and looks hurt over his reaction. She was simply playing around and in her own way flirting with Armando, who doesn't like it when Betty tries to invalidate his feelings, especially when they are related to how he feels about her.

"How embarrassing, Beatriz, I didn't want to yell at you much less the day of your birthday. It's just that it makes me nervous when you tell me-when you don't tell me things." Betty looks at him and studies him(lemme finish his sentence because it actually holds meaning "it makes me nervous when you tell me that I don't feel what I feel." this is all based on context clues so I'm guessing that is what he wanted to say at first).

"Sir" She takes steps towards his desk "If I tell you it isn't it's not so you don't feel guilty over it. It's because for me it really doesn't hold any transcendence so why would it hold that for you?" She smiles.

"How is it that it doesn't hold transcendence for you? Explain that to me because I don't get that."

Remember how I keep pointing out that Armando has always been curious about Betty's personal life slash her intimacy? Here he is asking her a personal question and for the first time Betty is going to give him a glimpse of it.

"Normally when people turn age they make a huge celebration, inviting their friends over to their house, they sing, dance, but I've never been enthusiastic over that, well the only time that I had a birthday party it was because of my parents because I was turning fifteen but it was so so bad, so concurrent, that I never did anything like that for my birthday again." She chuckles.

What has Armando's behavior been like?

At first he was obviously paying attention to her but as she started to talk about her experience he first seemed surprised in an a "oh my god it's happening, nobody panic, it's happening." kind of way and the more she expressed herself, the more he felt for her as his final expression is one of him being sad. The corners of his mouth are down, there's a slight pout on his lips, he stares at Betty with his eyes slightly squinting at her.

"Don't worry, Sir." She smiles and walks to her office.

Armando follows her with his sight but as she shuts the door he stares off somewhere else with his brows now furrowed and his pouting intensifying.

For one he feels like he finally gets something into her personal life and the fact it's something that potentially has such an negative impact for Betty, at least enough to make her not want to ever have another party again, makes him sad. Though Betty didn't say exactly what went wrong, Armando can imagine what it could have been as he too was fifteen at some point and he knows how cruel people can be, especially fifteen year old's so it makes him sad that she's gone through that.

A few scenes later, the girls go ask Betty out for lunch for her birthday. Armando walks to grab a glass of water and starts to eavesdrop their conversation(He do be liking el chisme too, especially when it involves his fav. person, Beatriz Pinzón Solano.) as he hears the girls basically talk ish on her boyfriend for having yet to ask her out or make plans with her for her b-day.

Mariana again tries to aid Betty against the girls critique of her boyfriend.

"Beatriz." Armando calls to Betty, who was on her way to her office to grab her things after the girls left. "I wanted to ask you a favor and that's that you won't make plans for tonight." He stops looking at the book he head been "reading" when the secs. where at the door, and takes a step towards her. "I would love it if we could celebrate your birthday together." He is honest in asking her out.

"Really Sir?" Betty smiles big. Armando seems content with her reaction.

"Well of course, Betty. This is real." He smiles at her.

"Oh Sir but I don't want you to have problems with Ms. Marcela, we already went out last night." She whispers the final part.

"Don't worry about it. I'll take care of Marcela." he smiles and tries to reassure her.

Betty again tries to invalidate his efforts by saying "Ay Sir I don't want you to get into trouble." and Armando reacts classically'; angry Italian chef hand gesture.

"But I'm telling you no, take it easy, so what do we do then? Huh? Lets go out, yeah? Us together. Or what? Do you have some other plan?" He started off frustrated in an angry way and moved on to distrust.

"Nonono how could you think that?"

"I just wanted to know" we hear him say in a low tone.

"We'll see each other later on."

"Betty." He stops her again from walking into her office and winks at her while sending her a kiss via express mail(same day delivery?). Betty then flutters her right eyes and smiles at him and goes into her office.

His reaction after she leaves his him doing an "Ow" expression but he seems at peace with it.

Now moving forward to a new scene but still in the same time frame, Mario walks into his office and asks for any updates and I'm just mentioning this because I find his reaction funny.

Armando clarifies that he's taking Betty out to dinner later on that day and Mario smiles at him and starts to "clap" silently since Betty is in her office.

Compared to earlier in the day, Armando now looks like he's back on his grove. He looks at peace with his relationship with Betty, that she finally shared some personal information with him, they've set up a date, he doesn't feel bad that he forgot her birthday because she told him she didn't want him know(but she did want him to remember, she said so the previous night when her mom asked) and Mario is getting the gift, all is well.

Marcela in classic style then goes to be a controlling and possessive girlfriend once Armando leaves to lunch with Mario and starts to go through his things and finds AA's picture on his desk.

Aura Maria then tries to hype Betty up about her b-day date with her[Betty] boyfriend and that she'll give her tips later on for it.

Dumb Nicolas calls Eco Moda when Betty's off at lunch so he can talk to Patsy Pats again and because he's dumb like that(I love that character but when it comes to Pats I can't stand him) he starts to pretend like he's rich so he can get her attention

Fast-forward some scenes, Betty is back in her office when her phone rings. When she picks up Nicolas is singing "Happy Verde To You" while Don Hermes looks at Nicolas with annoyance.

"Aw Nicolas." Betty says sweetly and we see Armando slowly pick his head up(he was looking at some papers down on his desk that he was signing) and squint his eyes and turn to Betty's office. "I didn't think you'd remember my birthday. Very nice gesture." She chuckles.

For this next conversation I will omit what Nicolas says so we can view it from Armando's point of view.

"Aw Nicolas." Betty smiles and sounds flattered. "Ah Terra Moda?" She teases. "Oh um, but go out to dinner tonight?" she looks towards the little frosted window in her office, that's indirectly towards Armando's desk. "No it's not because of that, Nicolas." She explains. "What happened is that..." We now get a frame of Armando being nosy, again, and eavesdropping on the conversation, carefully paying attention to what she's saying. "my friends here, the girls from the cuartel have invited me out to celebrate my birthday and I'm already engaged with them." she lies. "Yeah don't worry about it, Nicolas, in any case, thank you so much." she smiles(you can hear someone's genuine smile through their tone of voice) "They'll turn up, don't worry." She teases.

Armando can conclude that Nicolas asked Betty out but she rejected him and lied to him, could be that he believes Nicolas was probably asking Betty if she had plans with another guy or didn't like him anymore, so Betty explains[lies] why she can't go out with him. Then that Betty is trying to reassure him that he'll find someone.

I omitted Nicolas responses because we get Armando's reaction a lot here so it has to mean that we're supposed to draw to the conclusion that it is important for us to know that Armando still considers Nicolas a threat but that he feels like he's winning now.

Now Armando's last reaction is more satisfaction than anything. He feels like he finally scored against Nicolas and he feels good about it.

Betty is now lying to Nicolas and not making plans with him so that she can go out with Armando, making him her number one priority once more and that makes him happy but because he hears Betty's enthusiasm and how comfortable she is while talking with Nicolas it doesn't build his confidence that Betty doesn't have anything with Nicolas.

However problems arise when Nicolas tells Don Hermes that Betty is going out with her friends and makes Doña Julia call her work friends so they can invite them for a celebration party at her house.

When she calls her mom to talk to her about it and when she hangs up Betty now has to find a way to fix this.

Take into consideration that Betty does want to go out with Armando but that after he yelled at her twice for Invalidating his feelings or efforts of him wanting to celebrate her birthday, she now has to consider his feelings and doesn't want to make him feel like he isn't important to her.

She goes out into his office and stands there, waiting for him to acknowledge her.

"What's up?" He asks when he stops typing.

"Sir um, what time do you think we'll be leaving tonight?" Armando has his hands laced together in front of him as he answers Betty.

"Around seven. Why Betty? What's going on with that face of yours? Like something worries you?"

"My parents are organizing a party for me and they've invited all my friends, including you."

"What Betty? Do you pretend I go there with all those women, the most gossipy women of all of Eco Moda, to your house?" here Armando is no longer willing to sacrifice. "To celebrate a birthday? that bore me, they bore me profoundly. I don't even celebrate mine, not in my house or anywhere. I find it very fed up." Betty's entire demeanor is sad. "but if you have that engagement then go ahead on do it. We leave our thing for another time."

"No, no, no." Betty kicks into gear. "Sir forget it. You come first. I prefer to go out with you." She reassure him. To her after his two outburst earlier this translate to him doing it as a reverse therapy kind of way, saying it isn't a problem, that he doesn't like those kinds of party's anyway, and added with his somber tone, Betty does think he is trying to not make her feel bad for it but that he does want to go out with her.

"You already have an engagement go ahead and comply with it."

"Sir let me fix this."

"No-no wait." He says as she leaves his office.

Armando isn't upset or arguing with Betty or trying to convince her to go out with him because he knows Nicolas isn't the one she's going to go out with. Now Armando, though being callous and honest, tells Betty that he doesn't like birthdays that they bore him and are nuisance and that he doesn't even celebrate his,

Betty then comes up with the plan for that night everything is fixed. Armando however fails to read the bold letters, I'd say lines but by this point everything is spelt out in front of him. He is being callous.

"[...] You decide at what time you want us to go out?" She smiles.

"But um-but-nonono- Be-Betty I-It's not necessary for you to go through all of that. Really I feel embarrassed with you, the party, the cake at your house-"

"No-"

"No really I-I don't know-"

"No Sir I talked with everyone; With my family, my friends. Everything is fixed." She smiles. Armando however doesn't seem too happy about it.

"Yeah?" He asks worried. "It's not a shame?" Betty picks up on this and looks away from him.

"Well Sir, I won't insist more." She takes in a deep breath and gives a small smile. "Pardon me." She starts to move towards her office.

"No-no, Betty come over here." He scratches his ear lobe in an effort to sooth his anxiety. "What time do you want me to pick you up?"

"No Sir, don't bother."

"What time do you want me to pick you up?" He speaks loudly and frustrated, however he is trying not yell at her.

"At ten?" She says softly and smiles at him. He nods and forces a smile. "Thank you, Sir."

He does the same expression once Betty enters her office, the "Ow" but at peace with it expression.

Armando is now making more of an effort to place Betty's needs before his own. He is now understanding, even if its a little bit, his feelings towards Betty, at least to the point that he is okay with some of them.

Betty is still timid but she's picking up his cues and when she questions them and she pulls away Armando tells her that it isn't like that at all. It's so important to understand this because many people have this misconception that Betty took advantage of Armando later on that night. I already talked more about this, however not that in depth related to that specific scene in the post I Don't Believe He Desires Me Part 2.

'Til next time!

#armando ysblf #don armando #armando mendoza #analysis of ysblf #beatriz pinzon solano #betty ysblf #betty pinzón solano #beatriz pinzón solano #yo soy betty la fea #betty la fea #betty #mario calderon #mario Calderón #Calderón ysblf

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the-bjd-community-confess · 2 years

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I’m the anon who was talking about not liking to be told I’m “undercharging” for my work. I do not get benefits, and I can’t work a regular job. My small business is my only means of making money; but when a business is starting out and I’m not some cute charismatic trendy person who goes viral on tiktok you find that sometimes making 1$/hr (In profit after you’ve calculated time and product cost I’m not an idiot) means you actually sell items.

Everyone says you have to charge your worth, but if no one will pay what I’m worth then how do I make money? I don’t. So I charge what I would be able to pay for an item and people buy and it makes money. It’s a process, you don’t start making a living wage, small businesses don’t work like that ever unless you went viral or something. That’s why people start out with a normal job and do “hobby stuff” on the side. Unfortunately my life doesn’t work like that, so I get by. In the future maybe I would charge a bit more but I may not ever have the luxury of that kind of branding, so I sell to the people who wish they could have what people often charge hundreds of dollars for when it doesn’t cost that much in time or money to actually make that item.

A small item I can make for cheap and with ease in a day other people charge $200 for because they have 14k insta followers. I sell it for what it costs to make plus profit for myself and it’s less than $50. Artists love to inflate costs because “they deserve it” and I guess if they’re lucky to get people to pay that then that’s that I guess. Also I have no idea what kind of yarn and where people are buying because you can get a pound of good quality yarn that’s soft, washable, dryer safe, and durable for like $10 and I live in an expensive ass state where everything is crazily priced. You can make a big ass blanket with like 5 pounds of yarn. Also it’s easy to get good deals on yarn if you just look around a bit.

I’m not pretending like I’m rolling in money and atm I’m lucky that I don’t have a ton of costs to cover in order to stay alive, but I make enough money to get by and I don’t feel guilty when I sell someone an item for 2-3X what it should cost just because I think I deserve it. And I hate the concept that handmade items are a “luxury” all items used to be handmade, but now we live in a corporate capitalist nightmare. People deserve quality items that actually pay people and not corporate pockets. I would rather pay a small business for an item instead of Walmart, but if a small business is charging 15x Walmart’s price it’s hard to justify the purchase when you don’t have money to burn and I get that. Especially if it’s easy to just research what an item costs to make. If an item costs $10 to make and it only took you 6hrs to make it ( where I live) that’s still only like $70, but people charge $150. You can’t tell me that’s not asking too much. Tack on an extra $20-30 maybe, but I can’t justify doubling the price.

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #TrueBJDConfessions #BJD Prices

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beingdreeyore · 2 years

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Another day, another round of blood tests… The line is long this morning and this place is getting way too familiar.

I’ve got some guesses as to what’s going on inside me, but I’m managing to keep the stressful thoughts at bay. Deep breathing and distraction.

I’ve actually been sleeping okay (she says, aware that she just jinxed herself…). I usually fall asleep to The Wizard of Oz (I’m not even kidding) some time between 9pm and 10pm, I wake my usual 2-3x throughout the night but fall asleep fairly quickly (it’s easier when you know there’s no point checking your phone as nobody will be texting…), and then wake up around 5:30. Even so, I am exhausted all the time. Much more so than I should be for that amount of sleep. But at least my sleep isn’t horrific anymore. At least there haven’t been any nightmares lately.

I forced myself to the gym this morning. Nothing serious, just going through the motions. I even let myself use machines instead of free weights (I know, I’m horrified too!) just because that’s all I had in me. But I still went. The exhaustion feels similar to when I had glandular fever, but staying home and resting isn’t an option. I have another 24 hour shift today.

My answers are months away at best. I have an ultrasound three weeks away. A CT that is a month away. And two specialist referrals where I can’t even get their clinics on the phone. So I need to make peace with not having any answers right now. Things like going to the gym will help with distracting and keeping my thoughts level - that’s the trade off with the extra fatigue it will cause.

But it’s not all bad. There are always lessons and silver linings if you look for them. I’m drinking less and eating healthier because that’s what my body needs. I’m protective of my bed time, because again I need it. I’m finding myself pulled towards meditation and yoga again - the things I used to rely on back when my thoughts were at their worst and the world was most out of my control. I would’ve preferred not to have to go through this to achieve those things, but it is what it is.

My sort-of-boss is aware that something is going on and he asked me if I had good supports in place. I hate that question, it always makes me emotional because the answer never changes. No, I don’t. But I’m aware that is my own doing. I have good friends, quite a few, but not so good I’d discuss this sort of thing with them. Which I guess is odd given they regularly discuss this sort of thing with me. The actor checks in regularly, but he had zero interest in this stuff when we were together so I’m not sure why we’d discuss it now. My father randomly ceased his weekly phone calls in mid-December. When I asked him why, he told me it was too hard. We’d been doing it each week for two years - his idea, not mine - and then suddenly he was over it. He hasn’t called since. I’ve been trained not to be anyone’s problem or burden; talking about this would go against that, so I don’t. And it’s okay, this isn’t a new thing in my life. It’s lonely, but it’s also kinda business as usual. I just don’t want to be asked about it.

So it’s not all bad. It is what it is. Wait and see. Cliche after cliche. And life goes on…

#the sleepy bookshelf podcast is where I listen to wizard of oz if anyone is curious #have yet to make it past the fifth episode because I fall asleep so quickly at the moment

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gukgis · 4 years

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my pizza delivery story | jjk

imagine you were ordering pizza, and you see a cute delivery boy at your doorstep :))

‣ pairing: jungkook x reader

‣ genre: CRACK, fluff!! | deliveryboy!jungkook au

‣ word count: 1.0k

‣ a/n: i was literally cONTEMPLATING on whether to post this or not bc i just wasn’t proud of it and the idea was there but the execution wasn’t, well for me i think but it’s a good thing it’s not on my main masterlist kekeke idk i hope you like it it’s my first time so hopefully i’ll get better as i continue writing!! and the writing is gonna be different ?? i’m just experimenting with it and it’s not edited so :D

———

as soon as your homemade pizza got out of the oven, your face went D:

LOOK

this was your one attempt at cooking since you’re basically becoming an adult and you need to take care of yourself.

but you lazy and hungry 😔✊✊

you’ve been ordering takeouts all the time and it was time to cut back.

but you suck at cooking hence the horrible homemade pizza.

you gave your pizza to your brother since you care about your lil brother and don’t want him to starve since there’s nothing to eat.

however, you just knew what he’s going to say

“it sucks.” your brother chews obnOXIOUSLY while playing his videos games.

he still eats it nonchalantly, “i don’t understand why you can’t just order pizza?1?1?1? or smth.”

you mumbled, “weLL,,, mom and dad are gone for a bit so i had to make something so you wouldn’t sTARVE to death.”

your brother turned around to look at you, “sis, just order pizza pls 🥺🥺” then your brother reversed uno to his game and uttered, “and close the door on the way out, thanks.”

😐😐😐😐 you rambled quietly to yourself as you closed his door, “i do one nice thing and he just doesn’t apprec-”.

so you ordered pizza and waited until the doorbell rang.

YES IM HUNGRYYYYYYYYYYYYY 😡😡

i’m getting all the good pizza slices, and make him get his oWN PIZZA by no-

your thoughts got interrupted when you opened the door to see a very H O T delivery boy and the looks from his tag on his shirt, his name is jungkook.

love @ first sight

“large pepperoni pizza with buffalo wings?” he asked, lifting his head up.

then you started to get hesitant by the way you dressed. sweatpants, shirts with a bit of spilled water on it, and messy ponytail. just great.

“yes that’s correct.” you tried to make eye contact but his eye contact is tOO STRONG, so you looked away.

jungkook stuttered, “y-y/n right?”

“uh yeaH, that’s my name. how did you know?” you questioned with a surprised look on your face.

“oH no!! i meant that the name that you placed while ordering is the correct order right?” he showed the receipt with your name on it, “i wanted to make su-”

“-oH yeah hAHAHAHAH sorRy yeah it’s y/n.” you smile sheepishly while thinking you idiot HOW ELSE WOULD HE KNOW UR NAME

“that’ll be $22 please.” jungkook says, grinning rEALLY CUTELY.

:o “omg!! i don’t have money with me, hold on!!” you hurriedly went into your room and took the money from your desk that was wAITING FOR YOU TAKE BUT YOU’RE A FORGETFUL PERSON.

then i gave him the money and quickly grabbed the food, “have a nice d-” and sLAMMMED THE DOOR.

oh no

he was going to say something nice :((((((((((((( you mean you knew what he was going to say but you SLAMMED THE DOOR AT HIS FACE 😤

hate life 👊👊👊👊

you leaned back at the door, still holding the pizza until your brother yanked it, “thanks for the pizza sis.”

———

oKaY

until now you have been spending some time and spending a few $$$$$ at the specific pizza place where jungkook is at.

you’ve actually cleaned up for yourself a bit so that way he doesn’t think you’re a slob and/or a weirdo :)

you feel like you guys have been getting along??? you mean you guys are now calling each other by your guy’s first name,, and he’s the one that’s been delivering your orders!!1!!

......or was that a coincidence?

wELLL you need to take that chance and ask for his number!!

but i don’t want to 🥺👉👈 but i nEED TOOOOO you’ve been putting it off way too long. yOU CANT THINK OF THE WHAT IFS,, JUST GOOOOO, do ITTT

“that’ll be $22 like the usual y/n.” he grinned politely. “unless you forgot the money like the past few times?” jungkook teases.

you chuckled nervously, “ahhhh noo i have the money right here don’t worry!” he lifted his head up and you spoke again, “nOT that you were worrying or anything!! i-i just um...”

you didn’t finish your sentence and quickly hold out the money. jungkook mumbles quietly to himself “cute.” thinking you didn’t hear him but you did, this is a good sign.

you grabbed your order but you saw something that you didn’t order?? so you were veryy confused. “sorry but i didn’t order this... casserole???” you spoke while trying to give it back to him.

jungkook shook his head “uh nO, it’s free!! it’s a complimentary thing since someone have noticed that you’ve been ordering at our place quite often.” he smiled.

“OH was it hyunjin??? he’s always so nice when he’s accepting my delivery calls :D” you commented obliviously.

jungkook pokes his tongue inside his cheek but luckily you didn’t notice, “nope, it was me.” you looked up, “have a nice day y/n.” he winked.

ok now, this is your chance this is your chance 3x he called u cute, that is something??? HE ALSO GAVE U FREE FOOD so just say can i have your number? that’s it, that’s all easy pEASY just say it, just sAY IT just SA-

he’s about to walk away and you panicked and blurted out, “i dONT HAVE A BOYFRIEND!1!!!!1!”

jungkook frozed in his spot, and turned around, “h-huh??” he stuttered.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUC-

———

so for the next few days, you haven’t been ordering pizza, especially tHAT PIZZA PLACE.

you were just too embarrassed and decided to never eat pizza ever again :))))))))))))))

until that day, the bell rang. i peeked through the peephole and yOU COULDNT BELIEVE MY EYES

it’s fLIPPING tHE CUTE DELIVERY BOY what i didn-

“aiiiiii can u just get my pizza!!!!!” your brother yelled. but before you can argue, “iM A BIT BUSY IN THE BATHROOM RNN THE MONEY IS NEAR THE DOOR.” he added.

he’s getting murdered 🤠

weLL great. i have to open the door,, kms.

you grabbed the money, open the money, gave him the money, and was about to close the door until

“w-wait!” jungkook cleared his throat.

your reaction:

you’re holding onto the door for deAR life, waiting for him say something aNYThing, getting ready for the humiliation.

jungkook then goes, “i-i..... i don’t have a girlfriend either.”

D: to :o to :D

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annakie · 3 years

Photo

After starting my new job in the fall, I have uh.. upgraded my rig a bit. I joked on Twitter the other day that it’s name is now “The Wind, Baby!”

Boring computer talk and some stats under the cut.

I have the same case, but I’ve swapped out nearly every other component of my machine in the last couple of months... including the video card. Look, I know that the 3090 FE isn’t technically a “Gaming Card” (even though it was advertised as such) and Gamers Nexus tore it to shreds for the claims, but I’d been trying to get a 3080 for MONTHS and I was actually able to find a 3090 FE at retail price (on Best Buy’s website and picked it up in-store), it was the only thing available and I was tired of waiting so uh... yeah. It took me awhile to justify pulling the trigger and I almost didn’t go pick it up.

It’s not the card I wanted, but I decided to keep it, and I’m now happy with that decision.

I justified it to myself by telling myself I’m gonna skip the 40XX series all together so really I’m spending the same amount on this card as I would have for two XX80 cards. Plus I sold my 2060 that I had before to offset the cost a bit more. The pricetag was still insane for a single piece of hardware but... welp. I can have a little insanity, as a treat.

Setting literally everything to ultra and getting amazing framerates is really nice, though, gotta say.

My biggest regret is that the FE series don’t have RGB. Like, it looks very sleek and high end, and yeah there is that little bit of white lighting, but I really would have liked pretty lights like my 2060 RTX had. I know I could add a light strip or something but it’s not the same. Also worried that I may need to buy a brace, though most people say you don’t need it. IDK.

Also, I need to buy other fans for the front case fans, which you can’t see in the pics because the ones I have were pretty nice fans when I bought them, but they’re also just like, static purple LEDs (which are invisible to the naked eye but the purple is clearly visible in those pics) and I’d like to be able to control the colors a bit more.

I set the lights (and entire case) to a Tom Servo theme for now though, and I’m happy with it, but eventually I’ll probably do other things with it. Maybe need to dig up a few other small toys that won’t obstruct airflow to theme it out with. Why isn’t there a Kaidan action figure!?

Putting this here more as a reference for myself when people ask what my hardware is so I don’t have to go back and pull the list from where I bought them anymore:

Motherboard: MSI MAG Z490 Tomahawk Gaming Motherboard Processor: Intel Core i5-10600K Desktop Processor CPU Fan: Cooler Master Hyper 212 RGB Black Edition CPU Air Cooler RAM: Corsair Vengeance RGB PRO 16GB (2x8GB) DDR4 3200MHz C16 LED Desktop Memory - Black (I replaced the fan with one of the ones below.) GPU - GE Force RTX 3090 FE Case: NZXT H500 - Compact ATX Mid-Tower Case PSU: CORSAIR - RMx Series 850W ATX12V 2.4/EPS12V 2.92 80 Plus Gold Modular Power Supply - Black Fans: 3x (soon to be 5x) Cooler Master MasterFan MF120

Monitor 1: ASUS TUF Gaming VG289Q 28" HDR Gaming Monitor 4K Monitor 2: ASUS VE278H 27" Full HD 1920x1080 2ms HDMI VGA Back-lit LED Monitor Headset: Logitech G935 Wireless DTS:X 7.1 Surround Sound LIGHTSYNC RGB PC Gaming Headset - Black, blue Mouse: Logitech G600 MMO Gaming Mouse, RGB Backlit Keyboard: Microsoft Natural Ergonomic Keyboard 4000 for Business - Wired (It’s not cool but I don’t care, I love me this keyboard and have bought many of them over the years and need to find a backstock of more of them.)

Storage:

C:\ Samsung 840 Series SSD 250 GB for Windows and misc. programs installed, and one day when I’m not lazy this one is going away and my C:\ will be moved to this one here below...

1x WD_Black SN750 1TB NVMe Internal Gaming SSD

B:\ 1x WD Black 2TB Performance Desktop Hard Disk Drive - 7200 RPM SATA 6 Gb/s 64MB Cache 3.5 Inch - WD2003FZEX (Slow but reliable storage for pictures, media, backups of stuff from old hard drives, general file / archive drive.)

G:\Games - Samsung 850 EVO 500TB SSD for video games… only about 50gb free on this one.

M:\ (M for MassEffect) - another 250gb Samsung 840 Series for all 4 Mass Effect games + Mods, also all three Dragon Ag games and The Sims 4 are on there too. I’d move The Sims off if it wasn’t such a hassle.

S:\ - Samsung 860 QVO 1TB SSD… More gaming storage

V\: Video Games - 1TB SSD for EVEN MORE Video Games… I think this is also Samsung, but not 100% sure. Actually filled this one up with Fallout 4 mods last week and had to... delete games.

Yeah I’m not upgrading a damn thing for like 3 to five more years. Except maybe going up to 32gb RAM. :p

And of course, the second game I’m playing with this beast is Fallout 4. Still, heavily heavily modded with 4k textures and other big mods and it’s been running smooth.

The first game was Cyberpunk 2077 and no regrets. It was freaking beautiful and I can’t wait til it gets patched up and some more content added so I can play it again. I had decided to preorder the game (I let myself preorder one thing a year, this was it for 2020) and blacklisted the game both here and on twitter so I didn’t see most of whatever controversies people keep talking about. Game ran decent for me on my 2060 with RTX on, and runs amazing now. Honestly the prettiest game I’ve ever played, and I had a lot of fun with it. I still log in and just drive around sometimes to see all the pretty.

REALLY hoping the Mass Effect remaster has RTX. Can’t wait to see the game in 4k, maybe looking even better than ALOT makes it look.

And that the modders can make their mods work with it, too.

#personal post tag thingy #my computer

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incorrect-spiderson · 4 years

Text

The Shoes We Fill

Chapter 1: Drifting

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you had asked Peter a year ago where he would be today, he might’ve said something along the lines of dead in an alley. Or maybe, on a lighter note, hanging out with the AcaDeca team and MJ. Or leading the Avengers! He certainly would not have said floating aimlessly in space.

They’ve been on the Milano for a little over six days... probably. Time is a weird concept. Especially when you have nothing but the never-ending black abyss out the window and an angry blue woman to keep you company. Though, when it comes to sleep, Peter knows the exact amount he’s gotten.

None.

He's tried, honestly! But his brain seems to have decided that sleep is no longer an option. Trauma can do that to someone. Peter thinks he should be used to it by now. What with losing his parents, Uncle Ben, and now… he should be used to it.

But he isn’t. He isn’t used to the nights that end with him screaming himself awake in a fit of tears. He isn’t used to Nebula shaking him from his daze. He isn’t used to the half an hour of shaking and sobbing with nobody to familiar to cling to. He isn’t used to the agonizing pain that takes over his body when his senses overload after crying.

He isn’t used to anything anymore.

The nightmares never change. They always begin on Titan. Always.

Tony always appears in front of him, then crumbles to dust as Peter clings to him. Because he can’t lose him too. He won’t. But then Tony is gone, and Peter has to scramble to keep his ment- his father’s ashes from blowing away. Just as Peter gathers them all to mourn, he’s gone.

Then somehow he’s back on Earth, outside of his and May’s apartment. As soon as he opens the door he kicks over a pile of dust. He kicks over his aunt. His Aunt May, the strong and beautiful woman that raised him when the world seemed determined to end them, reduced to a pile of ash on the carpet.

And, of course, just before he startles awake, Ben shows up. Never in his life had Peter ever seen Ben scream at someone. Now he sees it every night. He reminds Peter of what a disappointment he is. How Tony should be alive. How Peter should be dead. How it was Peter’s fault for not getting the gauntlet from Thanos.

Then, without fail, he wakes up and cries with the blue space assassin woman until he falls back into unconsciousness. Then it starts all over again.

Nebua, for being a space assassin, isn't nearly as scary as she says she is. She's helped him through his nightmares, cleaned up his wounds, and has always given him the better rations. Alternatively, he's tried helping her feel… alive. Less machine, more… being? It was obviously hard at first. She would instantly close herself off and move away from him. Telling him to “mind your own business, unless you like being headless”.

So, you might ask, how has a sixteen-year-old mutant earthling managed to humanize one of the most dangerous women in the entire galaxy? The answer is simple: Paper Football.

"Wraa!!" Nebula growls, her metal hand curling into a fist. Her other hand grips her water glass until it groans under the pressure.

Peter, who’s spider sense had spiked, smiles lightly and picks up the small paper triangle. "It's cool Ms. Nebula! This game is kind of hard. My friend Ned and I play this aaaall the time when we get bored. So I'm basically, like, an expert." He hands her the paper football again and positions his fingers in the shape of a field goal.

Nebula flicks the paper, but it veers to the right. She shows nearly no weakness, but folds and nervously bites her lip. Peter can see she’s expecting… something. Punishment? Probably. Honestly he isn’t too surprised, unfortunately, considering who her dad is. "I would like to try again." She mumbles.

Peter smiles a little wider and picks up the paper triangle. He quickly fixes one of the corners then hands it back to her. "Yeah go ahead!"

Nebula takes it, she nervously eyes Peter but quickly buries her nervousness. A new determination grows and she flicks it. It sails through the finger goal, and Peter could swear that her eyes grew 3x bigger. He lets out a surprised laugh and leans back with his arms up. "Oh my Thor! Ms. Nebula you won!"

It takes a second for her to process it, but once Nebula realizes what he’s said her mouth twitches up into a near smile. Though she never does smile, Peter can tell how happy she is when she finally lets out a breath. "This was… fun."

Peter rests his elbows on the table and moves his hands around excitedly as he speaks. "Yeah, it's really good to help pass the time! I’ve never played with someone as good as you! And I’ve played this, like, a whole bunch. Mr. Stark and I…” Peter pauses. The black pit in his chest suddenly grows larger, “We uhm.. used to play it. A lot."

Both of their smiles fade as the weight of Peter’s words set in. They sit in an awkward silence, each finding something else to look at, before Peter speaks up again. "Ms. Nebula… how long do you think we'll be here?"

Nebula shuts her eyes, refusing to look at him, and breathes sharply out her nose. "Do not call me Ms. Nebula. Also…” She sighs “ I am not sure. The fuel is running out, fast. One of the processors is acting up and… food is getting low."

Peter nods solemnly and turns to the window. Basically, they have two options. Either shoot straight to earth in a shitty ship and hope they don't die. Or go to the nearest planet and hope the aliens there aren't hostile. So, in all reality, they’re doomed. He runs his fingers through his curls and sighs. ‘Oh Thor, I so need a shower.’

He looks down at his web-shooters. He presses a small button and a little web-cartridge pops out. Peter puts a hand over his mouth and tries to hold back his tears. The ashes in the cartridge spin as he turns it in his fingers.'What would Mr. Stark do?'

——————————————————————————

If you had asked Peter three days ago where he would be today he probably would have said dying. Unfortunately, he wouldn’t have been wrong.

Peter winces as he shifts against the wall. He takes a deep, bone rattling breath, and shuts his eyes. Never in a million years had he thought this is how he would go. He knew being Spiderman would most likely catch up to him someday. He’d bleed out in an alley or be kidnapped by some psycho. Which, now that he thinks about it, is pretty gruesome. Though, slowly fading out billions of miles from home in a spaceship with a blue robot woman isn’t much better. It sounds like something straight out of Star Wars. Ned would be so jealous.

Well, not of Peter dying. That’s kind of an issue. A big issue.

Though, he can’t say it was unexpected. Both he and Nebula knew he might not make it to Earth. When Nebula finally announced that the fuel had run out, as well as the food, he knew he was screwed. But now, as they float aimlessly through space, all he can think about is May.

He never did give her a proper goodbye all those days (weeks?) ago. If only he could hug her again, and smell her sweet honey scent, and tell her he loves her over and over until he passes out from lack of oxygen. And he will, as soon as they get home. If she’s even still around. If Peter even makes it that long. Suddenly, he gets an idea.

Peter drags his tongue across his cracked lips and gives a small sigh, then activates his nanite mask. He hasn’t activated it since… well, it’s been a while. So, as he focuses on the nanites forming over his face, it’s slightly startling when Karen speaks. “Hello Peter. Your vitals seem extremely low. Shall I engage in Tattletale Protocol?”

Peter bites his upper lip. There’s no tears to hold back anymore, so he can’t cry no matter how much he wants to. He’s been in so much agony that he doesn’t even remember when the tears just stopped flowing.

Ever since the shut down, every fiber in his bones had throbbed from malnutrition and hunger. Now his skin hangs limp where once youthful and strong muscles had been. Peter knows his healing can do nothing to help either. If anything, it’s making it worse. Though, with every stabbing pain, he’s reminded that the hole in his heart where he’d held Mr. Stark aches even more.

“No Karen,” he rattles out another shaky breath then continues, “I- I don’t think Mr. Stark will be able to ah… to answer right now. You know what would be really… really awesome though?”

The A.I. is silent for a moment then, in a somehow more solemn tone, “I can do anything you wish Peter. Please proceed.”

“Could you.. Could you please start a voice recording?”

“Of course Peter.” I takes a second, then a small flashing light appears in the array of holograms in front of his eyes. Peter licks his lips again and rests his head back against the wall.

“You may begin Peter.”

“Oh uhm.. okay... Hey May. I know you ah- you’re most likely searching the world for me right now. Making sure I’m not… you know.. gone. Well, I mean, that’s as long as you’re still around I guess. If you find this then, um, just know that I love you. So much. And uhm.. Please tell Ned that I love him too… he- he’s my best friend and I wouldn’t be here without him. I love you both so.. So much. More than anything. Oh! And MJ too. I never got to tell her to her face but… I love her too. Anyways… I guess this is goodbye.” Peter pauses and takes another rattled breath. “When I drift off, I’ll think of you guys. It’s always you guys.”

Peter sniffles. As he moves to sit up a cough racks his small frame. His back slams against the wall as he tries to sit up. “Karen uh… can you- can you end it? The um… the recording.”

The blinking light suddenly disappears and the mask retracts. Peter’s vision grows spotty while his eyes readjust to the dim emergency lights. His starts swimming as the world tips sideways, and then, he’s floating. Like a puppet having its strings cut, he lists sideways limplessly. Before he can hit the ground, metallic hands gently catch him by the shoulders. He’s propped back upright and a cold finger brushes a curl away from his eyes. His vision clears slightly and Nebula’s worried face softens as she realizes he recognizes her..

She gives him a small squeeze on the shoulder, and smiles. “It is okay Peter. I know you’re tired.”

Peter gives her the best smile he can muster. She runs a hand through his hair and then puts her arms under him. She easily lifts him into the air and carries him across the ship. Nebula gently places him in Quill’s Captain Chair and makes sure he’s comfortable. As soon as she is satisfied, she goes back to the main area. Nebula begins working on… who knows what. Though, honestly, Peter really couldn’t care less.

Everything just feels… floaty. Is that a word? FlOatyyy. It’s a funny word.

His eyes are floaty now too. So, so floaty…

They’re floating away! Up and up… and up. They’re going somewhere dark.

Peter really doesn’t like the dark.

Maybe the bright lady in the window can save his eyes before they float away. He really needs his eyes back…

Maybe they’ll come back…

When he wakes up…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20403511/chapters/52643932#workskin

#cam writes #sikes writes #endgame fix-it #fanfitction #marvel #avengers endgame #peter parker #the youngins #young avengers #mcu

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jadejedi · 4 years

Text

Love Does Not Fail (4/?)

Summary: When Anakin saves the galaxy from Palpatine, Padmé and his children survive, but their family is split apart nonetheless. Leia is taken to be raised in the Temple, not knowing that the Jedi who "found" her is actually her father. Luke grows up with Padmé, knowing only his mother's side of the family. But some things are inevitable.

Chapter Summary: Anakin and Padmé’s year on Naboo.

A/N: So! Thanks to quarantine related free time I suddenly have, I managed to plot this sucker out. Right now, I think it’s going to about twenty chapters. This chapter is 3x the length of the previous ones, and I have no idea what future chapters will look like going forward.

Because the plot is sort of… loose... there will be a lot of time jumps in the chapter, focusing on major events. Or some chapters will focus on like, one really busy month, lol.

All of that said, strap in folks, because this one is a rollercoaster. Let me know what you think!

ao3 link here

Padmé sat on a chair out on the lawn at her family’s home in Varykino, with Artoo next to her, watching as Anakin and Ahsoka sparred on the lawn. She smiled as they traded jabs, both verbal and physical.

They’d been on Naboo for a week now, and Padmé was extremely glad they’d decided to come here. Nothing Coruscant had to offer could compare to a sunny day in Naboo’s lake country.

She idly rubbed her stomach as she’d been feeling some amount of discomfort for a little while now. She was less than two weeks out from her due date, and since she was carrying twins, AZ seemed sure that they would come early.

She and Anakin had already decided on names. Anakin had wanted their children to have Nubian names; he didn’t want anything but their surname to tie them to Tatooine.

The names Luke and Leia had ended up as her and Anakin’s favorite names. Neither name was very common among Padmé’s generation, but fairly common names all the same.

Over in the distance, Anakin once again won the sparring match. Something Ahsoka said caused him to laugh.

He’d been so nervous to come to Naboo and face her parents. It had been sweet, really. They had decided that she would come a day or two early, so she could tell her parents the identity of the father of her children by herself, and then Anakin would follow. He’d insisted on packing her luggage for her, as she directed him from where’d she sat on the bed, and had peppered her with questions about her family and how they would take the news.

In the end, Padmé had been right. They had already liked Anakin from the first time they met him, right before the war, and they liked him now. They were obviously upset that they hadn’t been able to attend the wedding, but they had also understood the difficult circumstance that they had been in. It wasn’t Nubian culture to insert oneself into another’s private life. Family might get away with more than most, but her family had always respected her choices.

And, of course, her parents were delighted to have Anakin as a son-in-law. Sola had been over the moon that she’d been right all along about their feelings for one another.

Padmé grimaced slightly as the pain she’d felt earlier returned with a stronger intensity. She turned to Artoo, who Anakin had tasked with keeping her company. “Artoo, would you go find AZ-7 for me?”

He beeped in reply, and headed off towards the house.

She turned back to watch Anakin and Ahsoka, who were now cooling down from their sparring session, and her thoughts turned again, as they so often did, to her children’s futures. One of them, she knew, would have a relationship with Anakin similar to Ahsoka’s. That of a Padawan, never able to fully have a parental figure. The other would hardly know Anakin at all for the first twelve years of their life.

Her heart ached at the thought of her children not able to know their father. She loved Anakin with all of her heart, and she’d been so excited when she’d first discovered her pregnancy, not just because she wanted to be a parent, but because she wanted to be a parent with him. Knowing that neither one of her children would be able to experience that fully hurt her almost as much as the rest of all of this mess.

It was hard to reconcile her dark thoughts with the beauty of the lake country, with its chirping birds, beautiful wildflowers, and the distant sound of water flowing, so she tried to steer away from them.

Instead, she thought of the year that they would have here, and all the memories that she and Anakin would make with their children.

“You called for me, Mistress Padmé?” AZ said, coming up to hover next to her chair.

“Yes,” she said, turning to look at him, hand still on her stomach. “I think I am having contractions,” she said, unconcerned. She’d been having those pains for the last half an hour or so, but they were far enough apart that she didn’t feel that there was any need to rush.

“Oh!” AZ exclaimed. “Well, then I will stay here with you and monitor their timing, so that we may know if you are going into labor,” he said in that way of his, that was both serious and excited sounding.

She nodded, at that moment felt another wave of pain. “There’s one right now,” she said, through slightly clenched teeth. The pain still wasn’t terrible, but it was getting more intense.

Anakin and Ahsoka must have noticed the appearance of AZ, because they came jogging up to the house, having stopped meditating while she had been talking to the medical droid.

“Is something wrong?” Anakin asked, concern written all over his expression.

“It’s nothing,” she said, “I’m just having some contractions.”

Anakin’s eyes went wide. “Are you having the baby?” at the same time as Ahsoka gasped, “You’re in labor?”

Ahsoka paced outside the door of Anakin and Padmé’s room, where they were both was inside, with AZ and a midwife from a nearby town they’d contacted before coming to Naboo.

After AZ had started monitoring Padmé’s contractions, it was another half hour before he’d determined that she was going into labor. At that point, they’d moved her upstairs to the bedroom and called the midwife. It was then that Ahsoka and Dormé had been kicked out of the room.

That had been an hour ago. Since then, she’d commed Obi-Wan to let him know, as he’d been planning on stopping by once the babies were born, and had meditated for about as long as she could take. Now she was pacing. She knew that human births could either be fairly short or extremely long, so she wasn’t really sure what to expect.

“Ahsoka, you’re making me dizzy,” Dormé said, seated in a chair in the upstairs living area that the bedroom was connected to. “Come sit down.”

Ahsoka sighed as she flopped down on the more comfortable looking of two sofas. “I’m not very good at waiting,” she confessed with a wry smile.

Dormé smiled back at her. “Everything will be fine,” she tried to reassure her. “Women of almost every species do this everyday, all across the galaxy.”

“I know. It’s just that Anakin has been so worried about her. He tries not to be, but I don’t think he can help it.”

Dorme laughed. “Of course he can’t. He loves her. Of course he worries about her.” She looked at Ahsoka oddly. “Don’t you Jedi ever worry about the people you love?”

She paused, and then amended her statement. “The people important to you, I suppose. Since you aren’t supposed to love.”

“They,” Ahsoka reminded her. “I’m not a Jedi anymore.” She could say that now without it hurting. Much.

She considered Dormé’s question. “Of course Jedi worry. But they aren’t supposed to, no. Jedi are supposed to trust completely in the Will of the Force. Master Yoda says that all will be as the Force wills it. If a Jedi does worry, they are supposed to release that worry into the Force, because it can lead to fear, which can lead to-”

“Anger, hate, suffering,” Dormé interjected. “So Padmé has explained to me. I suppose that I don’t really understand, because when I try not to worry, I just worry more.”

Ahsoka chuckled. “Yeah, it’s not just you.”

There was a moment of quiet, cut by a particularly loud scream of pain from the bedroom.

“Do you miss being a Jedi?” Dormé asked after a moment.

“Yes, and no,” Ahsoka said. “I miss my friends. I missed Anakin, before I came back, and Padmé, too, for that matter. I miss a lot of the routine, and the security I felt with the Order. But my life has so much more than it was when I was a Jedi. I’m happy to be on my own. It was hard at first, but I think I am finding my own path,” she said, glancing at the door as another shout came through.

Dormé shook her head. “I just don’t understand how an Order claiming to be dedicated to protecting people could do this to them,” she said. “Padmé has always respected the Jedi, and for them to do this to her, to Anakin, when he saved the galaxy?” She shook her head again. “It’s just so cruel.”

Ahsoka sighed. “I think, to them, they are really just trying to follow normal protocol as best they can. They are so attached to their traditions they don’t see how their normal protocol could ever be cruel.”

Both of them turned as the door opened, and Anakin stepped out, a small bundle in his arms and an enormous grin on his face.

Ahsoka gasped and jumped off the couch, making her way over to Anakin.

“Meet Luke Skywalker,” he said proudly.

Ahsoka looked at the tiny, red little baby in his arms. A little strange looking, she decided, but cute all the same. “He’s beautiful.”

“He’s lovely,” Dormé agreed, and Ahsoka thought she looked a little misty-eyed.

“Isn’t he? Padmé has Leia right now, but she’s just as perfect.”

Ahsoka shook her head in amazement. “I still can’t believe you have twins! Twins!”

He laughed, a little tearfully, looking down at his son. “I know. It all kind of feels like a dream.” Luke made a little cooing sound, and all three of them stood silently for a moment, watching him.

“I assume Padmé is doing well,” Dormé asked after a moment, reaching out to touch Luke’s tiny baby fingers.

“Tired,” Anakin said with a nod, “but otherwise doing fine. She wanted you to give her a few minutes before coming in, but then you can meet Leia.”

“Who's older?” Ahoska asked.

“Big brother, right here.” Anakin looked up at her. “Do you want to hold him?”

Ahsoka nodded. She’d helped out in the Temple crèche enough to know what she was doing. She let Anakin transfer Luke in his soft yellow blanket into her arms.

“Hi, little guy,” she cooed softly. His eyes were closed, and he was squirming around a bit in her arms. He was so much smaller than the babies she held at the crèche, who were usually at least a year old. “He’s much cuter than Stinky,” she told Anakin with a smirk.

Anakin laughed. “I don’t think that that’s too hard.”

She glanced back down at Luke. “No, but he really is cute.” She could feel his Force presence, so strong already. She poked at his mind, and he immediately opened his eyes to stare at her. She laughed. “Sorry to bother you.”

“He’s got your eyes,” Dormé told Anakin.

“Do you want to hold him?” Ahsoka asked her, and she nodded eagerly.

While Dormé was holding Luke, Iala, the midwife, peeked her head out the door. “She says you can all come in now,” she said with a smile. “She’s ready to feed Luke.”

Dormé passed Luke back to Anakin and they all followed Iala into the bedroom.

“Hi,” Padmé greeted them with a tired smile. Her curls were tied into a bun at the top of her head, and she was propped up and surrounded on the bed with half a dozen pillows, another tiny baby swaddled in her arms.

Anakin smiled at her, and bent down to kiss her in greeting, before they carefully exchanged the children. Ahsoka thought about offering to help, but decided that they needed to figure stuff like this out on their own.

“They’re beautiful, Padmé,” Dormé said with a smile, coming over to stand by the bed so she could look at Leia in Anakin’s arms.

“Aren’t they?” she asked, as she positioned Luke to feed him. “I can’t get over how perfect they are. All their little fingers and toes.” She turned to Anakin. “I’ve already burped her, so she should be fine.”

“She’ll probably want to sleep,” said Iala from where she was seated.

Dormé and Padmé continued chatting as she fed Luke, while Anakin brought Leia over to where Ahsoka was standing at the foot of the bed. While Luke had just a small amount of wispy blond hair and blue eyes, Ahsoka was surprised at how much dark brown hair Leia already had. Her big brown eyes were focused intensely on Anakin, who was gently rocking her in his arms.

“How does it feel to be a dad, Skyguy?”

Anakin didn’t look away from Leia as he answered. “Wonderful. Terrifying.”

“Scarier than facing down a battalion of battle droids?” she teased.

He laughed softly. “Yes.” He looked up at her. “Honestly, besides facing Palpatine, the last time I was this scared was when you first became my padawan.”

“Really?” she asked, crossing her arms. She remembered her master being mostly irritated those first few days together. “What was so scary about me?”

He shrugged, and looked back down at baby Leia, who indeed started to drift off, blinking sleepily as Anakin continued to rock her. “You were just a kid. When I was fourteen, Obi-Wan and I were mostly going on diplomatic missions or protection detail, not fighting in a war. I was twenty years old, newly knighted, and here was this snippy kid I had to protect. It was terrifying.”

“And now you’re twenty-three and you have two babies to protect. At least you don’t have to worry about the war,” she joked. “And hey, you’ll be able to handle ages fourteen to seventeen no problem.”

The next three months flew by so quickly that Anakin didn’t really have time to feel anything but joy. Obi-Wan stopped by on his way back to Coruscant from a mission for a day or so. Padmé’s family visited again from Theed, though they once again had to leave Ryoo and Pooja home for now, as they were still too young to keep so many secrets.

It wasn’t until everything started to settle down a bit, with only Anakin, Padmé, Dormé and the three droids left at Varykino, that Anakin began feeling the pressure of the fact that this happy time with his family had an expiration date. Ahsoka had decided to go visit Rex on Mandalore for a couple of days, to let him know what was happening, and to give Anakin and Padmé some time with Luke and Leia.

It started when he got a comm from Master Windu. Since the twins were (miraculously) asleep at the same time, Anakin was able to step away to an empty room to take the comm.

“Skywalker,” he said. “We have lost contact with Senator Chuchi, who was sent as a diplomat on behalf of the Republic to negotiate terms of their surrender and our troops withdrawal. The Republic has maintained a presence there since the Battle of Sullust. Since Naboo is in the same region, and you are familiar with the Senator, we are tasking you to go to Sullust and regain contact with Senator Chuchi. If at all possible, those negotiations need to continue. We don’t have any troops in the area, other than the ones already on Sullust, so you’ll be on your own for this one.”

Anakin crossed his arms. He didn’t want to leave right now. His children were barely three months old and his wife needed him.

As if sensing Anakin’s reluctance, Master Windu’s blue holographic form glared at him. “As a Jedi, we expect this mission to be your first priority.”

“Is there really no one else, Master?”

“No. The war with the Separatists may be over, but that doesn’t mean that every Separatist planet is willing to give up so easily. We are still spread thinly, and as this is an extremely time sensitive mission, you are the best person for the job.” He gave him a look. “This is why we do not allow attachments, Skywalker. A Jedi should not place any one individual or family above the rest of the galaxy.”

Anakin scowled. “I understand. I’ll leave immediately.”

“We have Master Secura and her troops coming in as reinforcements, but she is tied up with a conflict on Felucia right now, and it is crucial that Senator Chuchi is rescued.”

With that, Master Windu ended the call.

Anakin sank down into a chair in the office, and put his head in his hands. How was he supposed to tell Padmé that he had to leave so soon? He knew that she would understand that it was his duty, and that almost made it worse.

The joy that he’d been feeling only minutes ago faded into anger and confusion. How could he be a Jedi, now? All he wanted was to be with his family, but that was no longer an option for him. He couldn’t be the kind of Jedi that the Council wanted him to be. He didn’t even think that he wanted to be, anymore.

“Anakin.”

His head whipped around, looking to see where the voice was coming from, but seeing only the empty office.

“Anakin.” This time, he realized that he recognized the voice.

“Master Qui-Gon?” Anakin asked haltingly, not really believing it.

There was no response.

Maybe the lack of sleep was making him go crazy. He shook his head.

“Anakin.”

“What do you want?” Anakin snapped, hoping this wasn’t an exhaustion fueled hallucination.

“Want? I don’t want anything. I’m here to talk,” came Qui-Gon’s voice, as calm and serene as Anakin remembered.

“Talk about what?”

“Your anger at the Jedi.”

“You can’t tell me that you think that what they’re doing is right.”

“No, I can’t. But I can tell you that your anger isn’t going to help anyone. Yourself least of all.” He paused. “You’re conflicted. All you’ve ever wanted was to be a great Jedi, but now you don’t know what you want.”

“How can I be a part of an Order that would do this?” he asked, pained. “How can I pretend to be one of them for the next… fifteen? Twenty? Twenty five years?”

“There is more than one way to be a Jedi, Anakin.” Qui-Gon’s disembodied voice chuckled. “Look at me. I may have been a powerful and well respected Jedi, but they never offered me a position on the Council. And if they would have, I would have turned them down. I often found myself at odds with them. And look at Jedi Vos. He is far from a typical Jedi, but he is a Jedi nonetheless. And look at you. You have never been an ordinary Jedi, and yet you are one of the best.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Anakin asked. He’d forgotten how cryptic Qui-Gon could be.

“I’m saying that the Council wants you to be a Jedi, fine. Be a Jedi, Anakin, as you always have been. Do what you know to be right, follow what the Force is telling you, not what the Council is telling you. If there is to be any hope for the Jedi, they must see that what I am telling you is true, and they will only see that if you show them.”

Anakin bowed his head. “Why is this up to me?”

“Because you are the Chosen One. You must bring balance to the Force.”

Anakin growled in frustration. “Didn’t I already do that when I destroyed the Sith?”

“Don’t you remember Mortis? Balance is about more than merely destroying the darkside. It is about holding them both, the dark and the light, in balance. The Sith Lord was right about one thing, Anakin. There is more to the Force than the Jedi could ever imagine. The Sith, too, for that matter.”

“What do you mean, Master?”

There was no response.

It turns out when Master Windu said that Anakin would be on his own for this mission, he really meant on his own. The Republic troops still on Sullust were halfway across the planet, defending the main Republic garrison from an attack from the Sullustan forces, when he landed just outside of the Sullustan capital of Pinyumb.

“I’m sorry, General Skywalker,” Dav, the clone Commander in charge of the garrison said over comm. “The Sullustans have us surrounded. Tanks, destroyer droids, and way more men than we have.”

“I understand,” Anakin replied as he landed his starfighter in a small clearing in a wooded area not far from Pinyumb. “Keep the garrison defended, and their troops occupied, but don’t try and break their blockade just yet. Hopefully their attention will be on you and not on the Senator.”

“Yes, sir.”

“What do you know about Senator Chuchi’s disappearance?” he asked, still seated in the cockpit of his fighter.

“We know that there are two disagreeing factions here on Sullust. One that wants to rejoin the Republic, and one that does not. While the Prime Minister is in favor of rejoining, we think that Senator Chuchi was kidnapped by someone in the opposing faction. Possibly before even making contact with the Prime Minister, to make it look like the Republic never intended on negotiating.”

Anakin sighed. “Great. So not only do they think we went back on our word, wherever Chuchi is being held, it’s probably not in any official capacity.”

“Probably not, sir.”

“That’ll make it more difficult to find her,” Anakin said, contemplating. “Wait. If the Prime Minister is in support of rejoining the Republic, why are his troops blockading our garrison?”

“We think that the opposition party has launched a coup and taken control from the Prime Minister.”

Anakin sighed again. “This just keeps getting better and better. Commander, send me any blueprints you have of the capitol building, as well as a list of known high ranking officials who oppose the Republic.”

“Will do, sir.”

“Skywalker, out.”

Anakin opened the hatch of the cockpit and climbed down. “Artoo, I’m going to need you with me for this one.”

Artoo trilled and beeped in reply. He grinned. “Don’t worry. I think the hardest part of this one will be freeing the Prime Minister. After that, it’ll be a cinch.”

Artoo beeped skeptically, but lowered himself down from the fighter anyways.

The trek into the capital wasn’t a long one, but it gave Anakin time to look through the documents that Dav had sent to his datapad.

As it turned out, the leader of the Republic opposition party was in charge of the Sullustan Ministry of Justice, which oversaw all prisons. That would make it easy for Senator Chuchi to be hidden in the high security prison on the other side of the city, most likely under a fake name, to hide who they were holding.

“We just need to break into the main capitol building so you can connect to their prisoner database. Hopefully by narrowing down by intake date we will be able to figure out where Senator Chuchi is,” he told Artoo.

Artoo beeped, causing Anakin to chuckle. “It’ll be a breeze, Artoo. We’ll be back on Naboo in no time.” He felt a pang as he thought of his family on Naboo. He checked his chrono. The kids were probably napping right now. Would Padmé be able to get them to sleep at the same time? Neither of them had mastered the art of rocking both of them in their arms, yet, and the twins would only go down for a nap for the two of them.

A questioning trill from Artoo drew him out of his thoughts.

“I’m fine,” Anakin assured him. “We just need to get into the capitol. Once we’re inside, I’ll find the Prime Minister, and you find a computer terminal to figure out the Senator’s location.”

As it turned out, getting into the capitol building was the easy part. Using the blueprints, he’d found a ventilation shaft that had an opening on the second floor of the backside of the building. It was a little tight around his shoulders, but it was far from the first time he’d crawled through ventilation shafts.

The Prime Minister was indeed being held in his apartments within the capitol building, guarded by at least thirty Sullustan guards, around fifteen battle droids, and two super battle droids. And that was just what Anakin could see through the vent.

Not the hardest odds he’d had ever faced, but in such an enclosed area, it would be hard to destroy the enemy combatants and protect the Prime Minister.

Thankfully, the vent he was looking out of was positioned right above where the Prime Minister was seated at his desk.

He shimmied a little past the vent so he could kick it loose, and then pushed himself gracefully out of the vent and onto the floor, onto the Prime Minister’s desk.

The troops in the room turned around at the sound of his thud onto the desk, and swung their blasters around to face him. He reached for his lightsaber and ignited it, the bright blue of his blade stark against the dark interior of the apartments.

“Put down your weapons. I am Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker, here on behalf of the Republic to free the Prime Minister.”

All at once, they started firing at him.

“Prime Minister, get down!” he shouted, using the Force to knock him out of his seat. “Get under the desk!”

He easily deflected the first round of bolts volleyed at him, before jumping and flipping into the air and off the desk, swinging his saber as he came down, decapitating three of the battle droids.

Anakin grinned as the blaster bolts came flying at him, and he deflected each one, slipping easily into his master’s preferred form of Soresu.

He continued to work outwards, destroying the droids one by one and incapacitating the Sullustan guards by either destroying their blasters or using the Force to throw them across the room.

He’d almost forgotten how easy it was to slip into the heat of battle, at one with the Force, the only thing he was aware of was his saber and his goal.

He slashed downwards at the remaining super battle droid at the same time as he shoved a guard away.

It didn’t take long before the room was strewn with unconscious guards and droid parts.

Using the Force, he pulled the last guard standing towards him, slashing through the guard’s blaster as he did so. “Take me to the one in charge,” he ordered with a growl.

The guard spoke rapidly in Sullustese.

The Prime Minister climbed out from under his desk and spoke to Anakin rapidly. Unfortunately, Anakin didn’t speak a word of Sullustese. Many species, including Sullustans, could’t speak Basic, but thankfully, these two seemed to understand what he was saying.

He shook his head. “Do you speak Huttese?” he asked.

The Prime Minister shook his head, looking offended at the mere sound of the language, while the guard nodded rapidly.

“Yes! I speak Huttese.”

“Great. What did the Prime Minister say?” Anakin reached out and grabbed the guard by his collar. “And don’t lie to me.”

The guard looked nervously between the Prime Minister, Anakin, and the door. “He said that there will be more troops on the way. That his loyalists are locked in the parliamentary chambers.”

“Well,” Anakin asked, “Are there more troops coming?”

The guard nodded, and Anakin sighed. “Of course. Tell the Prime Minister to follow me.”

The guard relayed his request before turning back to Anakin. “What about me? What are you going to do with me?”

Anakin rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to kill you.”

“Why?”

“Because I need you to translate.”

He motioned for the guard to head out first, keeping the Prime Minister behind him.

The rest of the mission went smoothly. Anakin lost himself in the adrenaline of fighting his way down to the parliamentary chambers, liberating the Prime Minister’s troops, retaking the capitol building, and capturing the Minister of Justice who was also in the parliamentary chambers. Hours of combat faded into each other as he focused only on the task at hand.

After that, it was just a matter of meeting up with Artoo, who had found a record of a female prisoner of an unlisted species processed around the time Chuchi went missing.

Since the Prime Minister was once again in charge, they were able to walk into the prison and were escorted to the cell of the prisoner they were interested in.

“Master Skywalker,” Senator Chuchi breathed out in relief, scrambling up off the cell floor. “I wasn’t even sure if anyone was aware that I was missing!”

Anakin gave her a quick grin. “We knew. Don’t worry, Senator. Sullust is back in the hands of the Prime Minister, and your negotiations can resume.”

He motioned to the guard to open the cell.

“Are you okay? Were you treated well?”

She grimaced slightly. “I can’t say the food was very good, but otherwise it wasn’t too terrible. They mostly forgot about me, I think.”

Anakin nodded. “They’ve been distracted with their coup and with the Republic garrison.”

“Well, I can’t thank you enough for not only rescuing me, but for overthrowing the Minister of Justice. It is imperative that the Sullust rejoins the Republic. Such an alliance would allow us better deals with the SoroSuub Corporation.”

“I’m glad to help.”

And to his surprise, he was. All in all, it’d been a very cut and dry mission. He’d fought some battle droids, saved a Senator, and restored a planet’s democracy. The kind of mission that reminded him what being a Jedi was supposed to be like.

But, even though by the time he got back to Naboo, it’d be less than three days, he still missed his family.

“Senator, I am needed elsewhere, so I will be leaving Sullust very soon, but I have gotten word that Master Secura is on her way now from Felucia,” he said as they walked out of the prison.

“I understand. Thank you again, for your help.”

Padmé smiled as she sat in the grass outside of Varykino. She, Dormé, and Ahsoka sat in a circle so that the twins could play in between them on a blanket she’d laid out, belly crawling in between the three of them and soaking in the sunshine.

“Leia, Leia,” she said in a sing-songy voice. “What are you doing, sweetheart?” She was scooting her way over to her, slowed down by the stuffed nerf whose leg she had clutched in one hand.

Padmé laughed as she struggled to make it over to her. “You’re going to have to set that down, you know.”

“She seems pretty determined,” Ahsoka said with a grin. Padmé was so thankful that she and Dormé were both here with her. Ahsoka had arrived back yesterday from Mandalore after Anakin told her that he was going on a mission. Padmé wasn’t sure how she would’ve taken care of the twins these last two days without them. And Ahsoka was so good with the twins. She loved to gently toss them into the air, and play games to make them laugh.

After a few more moments of struggle, Leia finally made it over to her, and put her hands on her knees, looking up at her mother beseechingly. “Oh, okay,” she acquiesced, reaching down to pick her up and set her on her lap.

She glanced over to where Luke was sitting in front of Dormé, who was trying to read her one of those thick paged children’s books that had lots of animals with little circles of textures for them to touch. Unfortunately, Luke seemed more interested in trying to eat the book than touching it.

“Luke,” Ahsoka called, trying to get his attention. “Watch this!”

Dormé turned Luke around so he and Leia could both watch as Ahsoka levitated their wooden Aurebesh alphabet blocks in the air, making them spin and dance around mid-air.

Luke’s eyes were wide with wonder as he watched. Padmé glanced down to see that Leia’s eyes were similarly wide, reaching out with one hand. Ahsoka raised her eyebrows as one of the blocks floated loose from its formation, bobbing unsteadily through the air until it landed on the ground in front of Padmé and Leia.

“Whoa,” Ahsoka said, impressed. “Good job, Princess!”

Padmé smiled down at Leia, and tried to press down the worry she felt at any reminder of her children’s Force sensitivity. It wasn’t that she didn’t want her children to be trained in it; she just knew that if Luke and Leia were anything like her and Anakin, they would already be magnets for trouble without adding Force sensitivity. It seemed like a lot to place onto such young children.

“What age do Jedi younglings usually start doing things like that?” Dormé asked.

“Oh, it depends,” Ahsoka replied, setting the blocks down into a pyramid formation in front of Luke. “On whether or not they’re raised in the Temple around other Force-users, and on how strong in the Force they are.” She looked between the two children consideringly. “I guess with a father as strong as Anakin, and having the two of us around them all the time, this is a pretty reasonable age. Maybe a little young. Usually parents start reaching out to the Jedi about their child’s strange powers before the kid turns two or three.”

Padmé smoothed down Leia’s already thick brown hair that seemed to want to stick out in all directions. “I can’t imagine raising a child with these kinds of powers unexpectedly. It must be scary.”

Ahsoka nodded. “It’s the main way that the Jedi get children. All hospitals within the Republic suggest that children have their midichlorian count tested at birth, but it’s not a requirement. Most parents reach out when they don’t know what to do, when they worry that they won’t be able to provide the best life for their child anymore.”

That made sense, Padmé supposed. She couldn’t imagine any parent who had wanted their pregnancy to be willing to give up their child right after birth, but when faced with mysterious powers, and a promise of a better life for their child, Padmé could understand what a difficult decision it must be, especially if the Order applied any sort of pressure on those parents. She was only glad that she would have Anakin and Ahsoka in her life to help her raise a Force-sensitive child without the Order.

As Luke lunged forward after the pyramid of blocks, Padmé’s comm went off. She quickly accepted the call, holding her holorecorder at face level after glancing down at the datapad she’d brought out with her to see that it was from Anakin.

His miniature blue form appeared before her. He appeared to be sitting in his starfighter.

“Anakin, is everything okay? Are you headed home?”

He grinned and nodded. “Everything’s fine,” he assured her. “I saved the Senator, saved the day, saved a democracy. All in a day’s work,” he said with a cocky grin.

Ahsoka rolled her eyes from behind his holographic form, causing Padmé to chuckle.

“Well, we’re glad to hear it,” she replied. She angled the holorecorder down slightly so he could see Leia seated in her lap.

Anakin brightened at the sight of her. “Are you guys outside?”

“All five of us,” Padmé confirmed. “It’s such a beautiful day out. Hurry home, and you could join us for dinner.”

Anakin nodded. “Will do. I just wanted to give you a quick call before I made the jump to hyperspace. I love you.”

“Love you,” she echoed, and his blue form blinked away.

Padmé smiled to herself as Leia chewed on the block that she’d stolen from Ahsoka. Anakin was safe, and he was coming home. They still had nine more months to spend together, and as she sat out on the lawn, it almost felt like all the time in the world.

Those nine months passed much like the previous three. In a blur of feedings and nap times and diaper changes. Visits from her family, taking the children out onto the lake, trying to convince them to eat their first solid veggies.

But Anakin could even blink, a year had passed on Naboo, and he and Padmé were already packing their bags to leave.

“I’m not ready to go,” Padmé said, pausing her packing.

Anakin looked up from where he’d been packing his own bag and saw tears in her eyes. “Me either.”

“It just doesn’t feel long enough,” she continued. “I can’t believe that the twins are already almost a year old.”

He nodded. While their year on Naboo had been wonderful, the last month or so had started to feel more and more suffocating as they both realized that their time as a whole family was almost up. Every moment began to feel like it had to be something special, something that they could both hold on to for later.

And now their year was almost up. The twins would turn one year old in three days, and Anakin would have to run the blood test to test their midichlorian counts.

They would have to run the test while still on Naboo, and Anakin would fly back in his Jedi starfighter with one child and Artoo, while Padmé and the other child flew back on the Naboo star skipper with Dormé, Ahsoka, and Threepio.

The official story, Anakin had been informed by Obi-Wan, was that he was undercover somewhere in the Mid-Rim. After his “mission” was over, the Council would supposedly hear from Senator Amidala about a Force-sensitive child on Naboo with no parents, and would send Anakin to investigate.

“Let’s take a break from packing,” Anakin suggested. “I’m sure that Ahsoka could use a break from watching them.”

Padmé nodded, wiping her eyes, trying to pull herself together. His heart clenched at seeing her so distraught. He knew that what was happening to them wasn’t his fault, but it still felt like she would have been better off with someone else. He knew better than to say that, though, instead pulling her into his arms and holding her.

After a moment, Padmé stepped back, nodding to herself. “Okay, yes, let’s go,” she said determinedly.

They walked out of their bedroom, across the second floor living space, and into the children’s playroom.

Ahsoka was seated cross-legged on the floor with Leia in her lap as Luke sat near her, playing with a plastic ball that had lots of buttons on it, each one producing either a sound or a colored light.

“Hey, look who it is!” Ahsoka told Leia, turning around as they approached. “It’s mom and dad!” Leia babbled happily in response, and made a reaching motion towards Anakin.

He grinned and swooped down to pick her up. He kissed her on the forehead, causing her to scrunch up her face and giggle. She babbled some more nonsense at him, and he nodded seriously. “I’m happy to see you, too,” he said with a grin.

Leia looked so much like Padmé already, with her big, dark brown eyes, and her dark brown hair that still wasn’t quite long enough to do anything but tie the longest hairs into a single ponytail sticking straight out on top of her head. Anakin called it her antenna, much to Padmé’s chagrin.

“Are you guys done packing?” Ahsoka asked.

“Hardly. But we needed a break, and figured you might, as well,” Padmé replied as she sat down next to Luke, smoothing out her skirt as she did so.

Ahsoka smiled and reached over to tickle Luke, “Need a break? From these two bundles of energy?” she joked. “Never!” She ruffled Luke’s hair, causing him to laugh some more. “This guy just got changed, but she,” pointing at Leia, “will probably need it soon.”

Padmé nodded, and Ahsoka got up to leave. “Bye kiddos!” she said, waving at both of them. “I’m going to go do some packing myself,” she told Anakin as she walked out.

“Ma!” Luke exclaimed, suddenly, reaching out his arms towards Padmé. She grinned as she picked him up and set him on her lap. Both of the twins had started babbling more and more lately. It was hard to tell what “words” were actual words and which were just coincidences.

Anakin sat down next to Padmé and Luke, Leia still in his arms. “Have you guys been good for Ahsoka?” he asked them, smiling as they both looked at him, blue eyes and brown, and babbled a response.

“You two are always good, aren’t you?” Padmé said, brushing a kiss to the top of Luke’s head.

“Is that true? Are you always good?” Anakin asked Leia, bouncing her up and down on one of his legs. She laughed and he glanced over to see Padmé smiling softly at the two of them.

He could tell what she was thinking. If they didn’t have many of these moments left, then they would have to treasure every one.

“And don’t forget to comm us when you reach Coruscant,” Jobal told Padmé, voice thick with emotion.

Padmé nodded. “I won’t.” She gave her mother another hug. Her mother wrapped her arms tightly around her, and Padmé felt her hands running comforting circles on her back.

“If you ever need anything at all, comm me.”

Padmé nodded wordlessly. They were all meeting her family Varykino one last time to say goodbye, before they had to leave for Coruscant.

Ruwee was talking quietly to Anakin while holding Luke in his arms. Sola was saying goodbye to Leia.

The goodbyes lasted several minutes of passing the babies around and hugging. Her parents even pulled Ahsoka and Dormé into the hugging action, much to both of their amusement.

After her family left, Dormé and Ahsoka made themselves scarce, so Anakin and Padmé could be alone with the children.

Anakin had the same blood testing equipment that Qui-Gon had tested him with all those years ago, and AZ had the equipment to test it.

Padmé felt like time was moving at half speed as she held Luke, who was being very squirmy in her arms, as Anakin quickly cleaned a spot on Luke’s chubby arm.

“Would you like me to do this, Master Anakin?” AZ asked, hovering next to her.

Anakin shook his head. “No, I’ve got it.” He carefully pricked Luke’s arm with the needle.

Luke barely reacted, going still for a moment, before turning to look up at Padmé. She smiled comfortingly at him, bouncing him in her arms. “Good job, Luke!” she cooed at him. “That didn’t hurt at all, did it?”

“Good job, little man,” Anakin agreed, only able to conjure up the barest hint of a smile as ruffled his hair.

Padmé sat Luke back down on the ground on the playmat and picked up Leia. “Your turn, sweetheart.” Leia watched with big eyes as Anakin swabbed her arm and then pricked her with the needle, a tear rolling down her cheek.

“Aww, Princess,” Anakin comforted her, “I’m sorry.” He handed AZ the testing equipment and Padmé let him take her. He gave a pouting Leia a kiss on her nose, before cuddling her into his chest. “I know that hurt, didn’t it?”

Padmé couldn’t help herself but smile at the two of them. Since day one, Leia had had Anakin wrapped around her little finger.

Luke had crawled back over to her, and tugged at her skirt. “You want up?” she asked him, already bending to do so.

She took a deep breath, hugging Luke to herself. “AZ, go ahead and analyze the results.”

AZ used his own satellite technology to communicate with the medical equipment in her star skipper to run the results remotely. “Do you want to know the midichlorian counts of each child, or do you just want to know who has the higher count?” AZ asked.

Padmé exchanged a look with Anakin, her heart in her throat. She hugged Luke closer to her, and she could feel tears starting to run down her face. She barely noticed when Anakin stepped over to her, to wrap the arm not holding Leia around her.

“Just which is higher,” Anakin answered quietly.

“The counts are very similar,” AZ began, “But Leia’s midichlorian count is slightly higher.”

Padmé started crying in truth now, turning into Anakin’s arms, still holding Luke, so that she could put her free hand around Leia.

She could tell that the children were confused. Luke was moving anxiously in her arms, but she couldn’t help it. She had ignored the truth of what was going to happen to her family for a whole year, and now the seemingly far off future was upon them. It seemed too overwhelming for her to comprehend.

Anakin stepped back after a minute or two when he could tell that the children were getting restless. “Here,” he said quietly, “You take her for a bit. I want to say goodbye to Luke.” Padmé nodded through her tears and let him take Luke with his flesh hand as his mechanical one handed Leia off. Padmé sat down on one of the couches, clutching Leia against her shoulder, murmuring into her ear.

“Da?” Luke asked, blue eyes peering up at him in concern. Anakin tried to give him a bit of a smile. “Hey there, little man.” Anakin hugged Luke to his chest, and wished that he would be able to remember anything that he was about to say.

“The next time I see you,” he told him, “it won’t be like this. We’ll have to pretend that I’m not your dad, okay?” He leaned Luke back in his arms, so his legs were against his chest, and he could look his son in the eyes. “But guess what? That doesn’t mean that I’m not your dad. I’ll always be your dad. And I’ll always be there for you and your mom, okay?” Luke blinked his blue eyes at him, looking solemn. Anakin could tell that he was picking up on his emotions through the Force.

He hugged Luke again, smelling the top of his head, taking in the sweet baby scent.

Padmé was still on the couch with Leia, who was now on Padmé’s knee, as she ran her fingers through Leia’s wispy brown hair. “I’m going to go get Ahsoka,” he told Padmé, who nodded, looking only briefly up at him.

He carried Luke up the stairs to the sitting room where he assumed Ahsoka and Dormé were waiting. As he climbed the steps, he thought about the future. He would return to the Temple with Leia. She would be known from now on as Leia Lars, which was his step-family’s name, but also a not uncommon name on Naboo. Luke would go to 500 Republica with Padmé a day later, and Anakin wouldn’t visit Luke for at least a month. They wanted to give him time so that he could see him as a new person, his mother’s friend and bodyguard, not as his father.

Ahsoka and Dormé were indeed waiting for him in the living area. “We’re almost ready,” he told them. “Leia and I will be leaving soon.”

He could tell that Dormé had also been crying before he’d come up, and Ahsoka looked as upset as he’d ever seen her.

“I’m sorry, Anakin,” was all she said. Anakin nodded.

“You two should go down and say goodbye to her.”

He followed them back down the stairs, and took a seat on the couch opposite Padmé. She reluctantly handed Leia off to Dormé, before walking over to Anakin and sitting down next to him.

“I’m not going to be able to teach her how to do her hair,” she said, leaning her head on his shoulder. “I won’t be able to brush it for her like my mother always did for me.” Anakin wrapped an arm around her. He knew that the mother-daughter relationship was very important to the Naboo, and he hated that she wouldn’t be able to experience that.

“Ani, I don’t know if I can do this,” she whispered.

He swallowed around the lump in his throat. “I don’t know if I can, either.” He looked at Luke. “We have to be strong. For them.”

She nodded tearfully, and reached out a hand to Luke, who grabbed her index finger and immediately brought it to his mouth and started mouthing on it. She gave a short laugh of surprise.

“Master Anakin, if you want to make it to the Jedi Temple before nightfall, you’ll need to leave very soon,” Threepio informed them as he entered the room, Artoo trailing behind him.

He nodded. He looked over at Dormé, who had passed Leia off to Ahsoka at some point. “Could you take him for a second?” She nodded, and strode over to pick up Luke. She looked at the two of them. “We’ll give you two a minute alone.” She ushered Ahsoka and the droids out of the room.

He pulled back so that he could look at Padmé. He knew they would see each other in a few days, but it wouldn’t be the same. He reached out his flesh hand to her face, rubbing her cheek with his thumb. “We’ll be okay,” he told her as confidently as he could. “This is only temporary. We will be a family again, someday. We’ll all be together.”

She nodded, looking up at him. “You have to help her,” she all but pleaded. “You have to make sure that she has love in her life.”

Anakin nodded. “I will.”

“If you don’t, she won’t ever want to be a part of our family,” she said, tears starting to fall again. “She’ll be too much like the rest of them.”

He shook his head. “I won’t let that happen.” He leaned in and gave her a gentle kiss, tasting the salt from her tears on her lips. He felt her reach out and grab his robes with both hands. He moved his hand from her face down to her waist to move her closer to him, pulling her all but onto his lap. He deepened the kiss, feeling the urgency of their imminent separation, before pulling back, resting his forehead on hers. “I love you, with all my heart,” he whispered. “We will get through this,” he promised her.

“I love you, too,” she whispered back.

Anakin glanced back to where Leia was strapped into her speeder seat in the back of the speeder on their way to the nearest spaceport, which was where he’d landed his Jedi fighter. About five minutes into the speeder ride, Leia had started crying, and hadn’t stopped since. This was the furthest apart she and Luke had ever been. He reached out in the Force to try and comfort her, to no avail.

“Oh dear,” Threepio said, “Mistress Leia sounds most unhappy.”

Artoo beeped a response that Anakain could tell was not very polite. Anakin couldn’t help but grin. Threepio was coming along to fly the speeder back to Varykino, and now wasn’t really the time for his helpful commentary.

Thankfully, the flight to the spaceport was not a long one, and Anakin was able to climb out of the speeder and extract Leia from her seat. “Artoo,” he said, as he cradled a still wailing Leia against his shoulder, “go ahead and get the fighter ready for flight. I’m going to try and settle her down. And Threepio, you can go ahead and head back to Varykino.”

“Yes, sir,” said Threepio. “I do hope you and Mistress Leia have a safe flight back to Coruscant.”

Anakin started walking around the nearly empty starport, bouncing Leia in his arms as he walked. “Come on now, Princess,” he said. “Don’t cry. Everything’s okay.” He heard a beep behind him and found Artoo holding out Leia’s pacifier and smiled gratefully at the astromech. “Thanks, Artoo.”

He gave the pacifier to Leia, which helped a little, but she continued to sniffle around it, tears still streaking her cheeks.

He sighed. He and Padmé had been so caught up in how they were feeling about the separation that they hadn’t even considered that either of the twins would have such a strong, immediate reaction.

“If you cry the whole ten hours, neither of us is going to have much fun,” he muttered. “Not much room in a starfighter.”

He closed his eyes, reaching out to touch her bright, fiery presence in the Force. Everything’s okay, he sent her. He continued to send her waves of calming affirmations until she truly settled down and drifted off to sleep.

By that point, Artoo had the fighter prepped and ready to go, their two bags stored in a compartment under the cockpit, so Anakin was able to climb carefully up the ladder one handed. He maneuvered his way into the seat, Leia’s sleeping head resting on his shoulder. Getting the harness on with her on his shoulder was a bit of a challenge, but he managed it.

After quickly comming the Temple to let them know he would be arriving with a new Initiate and comming the starport’s communications tower, they lifted off. Anakin reached out and brushed the minds of his wife and his son, saying one last goodbye, before taking off into the atmosphere to engage the fighter’s hyperspace ring.

The sun was setting over the Jedi Temple as Anakin dropped into the atmosphere, the hyperspace ring already disengaged. Leia was asleep again; this time he’d adjusted his seat back so she could sit on his lap and fall asleep leaning back against him.

Her little antenna of hair brushed his chin when he leaned down to check some of the controls and instruments.

His little Princess. He’d realized while in hyperspace that he wouldn’t be able to call her that anymore. She wasn’t Leia Skywalker, daughter of Naboo’s favorite Queen any longer. From now on, she was Leia Lars, the daughter of two dead farmers on Naboo.

He blinked as he looked down at her, sleeping contentedly on his lap. He was approaching the Temple; he couldn’t afford to show emotion now. He had to appease the Council as much as possible if he wanted to remain a Jedi, if he wanted to be able to see his daughter.

“Jedi Temple traffic, Delta 7B Aethersprite-class 7514Y, landing platform A from the southeast, Temple Precinct.”

He maneuvered the fighter onto the landing platform, and engaged the landing gear. He landed softly enough that Leia didn’t stir, until the cockpit canopy opened with a hiss, and she blinked softly awake.

He wondered if she would ever fall asleep on his lap like this again.

“Hey now,” he whispered, “go back to sleep.” He stayed seated for another moment, waiting for her to drift back off. She’d only been napping for fifteen minutes or so, and would be cranky if she didn’t sleep longer.

“I’ll always be your dad,” he whispered to her, suddenly feeling the need to promise her. “I’ll always love you. I’ll always be there for you. You’ll never be alone, Leia,” he swore, as she drifted back off to sleep.

Once Anakin was certain she was asleep once more, he carefully maneuvered her into the crook of his arm and climbed one handed out of the cockpit and down the ladder onto the landing platform.

The sun, now directly behind the Temple, radiated bright red and deep purple hues. Anakin looked down at his sleeping daughter. He wondered if she would remember any of this year, deep down somewhere, if she would remember having a family who loved her earnestly and completely and unconditionally.

Waiting for Anakin on the platform was Master Yoda, Master Windu and a Mirialan Jedi he didn’t recognize.

In that moment, Anakin was a heartbeat away from turning around and running back to his starfighter, and taking his daughter as far away as he could.

But he didn’t. He kept walking. Didn’t Leia deserve a stable, happy childhood? The Jedi might not be a normal upbringing, but he knew that younglings raised in the Temple had fond memories of their childhoods. And didn’t she deserve to be trained like he had been? She was powerful, both of his children were, he could feel it, and he knew that Obi-Wan and Ahoka had felt it, too.

And most of all, didn’t she deserve the chance, no matter how far off, to be apart of a family again someday?

He kept walking.

“So, a youngling, you have found?” asked Master Yoda.

His words stuck in his throat. It was a moment before he could answer. “Yes, Master. An orphan, from Naboo. Strong in the Force.”

“And her name, what is?”

“Leia. Leia Lars,” he said, managing to keep his voice steady.

“You have done well, Skywalker,” Master Windu said. “Jedi Seminaria will take her down to the crèche.”

The other Jedi, Jedi Seminaria, stepped forward to take Leia from him, to take his daughter away from his arms. He glanced down at Leia, still wearing the flowery patterned play outfit that Padmé had dressed her in at the beginning of the day, still dozing peacefully.

He passed her over, and she stirred slightly as she left his arms. “I’ll take her down to the crèche,” Jedi Seminaria murmured, bowing to the three of them. The other two Masters bowed slightly to her, and Anakin remembered to follow suit.

He looked past Master Yoda and Master Windu, watching as Jedi Seminaria walked into the Temple from the landing platform, the reds and purples in the sky around them fading up into the deep indigo of nightfall.

“You have done well,” Master Windu said after a long moment. “We weren’t totally sure if you would go through with it.”

Anakin didn’t say anything.

“For the best, this is. Only here in the Temple will her full potential, Leia be able to achieve. Even better if her brother was also here, it would be.”

Anakin shook his head. “The Jedi are not the only way.”

“We are the path of the lightside,” Master Windu snapped. “Master Yoda is correct. If anyone as powerful in the Force as Leia Lars is, is going to fulfill her full potential, then the Temple is the best place for her.”

Anakin decided it was better not to argue. Suddenly, he felt too exhausted to say anything, so he just nodded.

He noticed Obi-Wan walking towards them. “Master Kenobi,” Master Windu greeted him. “Did you need anything?”

Obi-Wan bowed. “No, Masters. I am only here to greet Anakin.”

With that, the other two Masters bowed, and headed back into the Temple.

Obi-Wan looked at him and sighed once the others were further away. “I’m so sorry, Anakin.”

Anakin shook his head, crossing his arms as he started walking the way Obi-Wan had come from. “I feel like I am failing. As a father, for abandoning both of my children. As a Jedi, for loving them and even having a family at all.”

“You’re not abandoning them. None of this was your choice. And you’ll still be in their lives; it’s not as if you’re dropping them off on some backwards planet and running off. You’re trying to do what’s best for them, in very difficult circumstances.”

Anakin nodded. Obi-Wan was right. He wasn’t abandoning them, and he wasn’t giving up on them. They would all be together, someday.

#love does not fail #star wars #star wars fanfic #anidala #anidala fic #my fic #sw #skywalker family

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astromechs · 4 years

Note

rich showing up at sam's house after something goes Wrong in space and he doesn't know where else to go

quick little prompt fic! this is my first time writing sam, so pardon the bumps. thanks for sending this in 💖

also on ao3!

feel free to request more prompts!

Sam knows he’s been staring at the same problem for at least the past fifteen minutes, but there’s a difference between managing to open up the math book and finding the motivation to actually start working. He has to make this effort, though, because his mom definitely wasn’t happy with the grade he got on his last pre-cal test that he’ll just straight-up admit he didn’t study for, and when his mom isn’t happy, no one in this house is happy; the cracks in household peace over the past couple of weeks have been more than apparent.

“Math homework done before dinner,” she’d said as soon as he’d gotten home this afternoon, in the kind of tone that’d had the or else strings attached. He knows better than to argue with it.

A breeze blows in through the open window in his room and rustles some papers, and it takes some maneuvering to both clamp them down and shut the window with one hand, but, hey, he manages it. And that kills about another five minutes on the clock, which means that now, he really needs to concentrate.

Okay, okay. He rubs his eyes, picks up a pencil, and bends over the math book again.

(3x3 + 3x2 – 4x + 5) + (x3 – 2x2 + x – 4)

Does this actually make sense to anybody? Why does it even matter? It’s not like he’s going to need to know how to add polynomials the next time he has to fight stupid beard planet, anyway.

Superheroes don’t need math. This is totally a known fact, ask anyone.

He bangs his forehead against his desk.

Like terms, he reminds himself, and he puts pencil to paper in such a way that it looks like he might actually get something done, but then –

KRAAAAKKK-BOOM.

The whole house practically shakes from the force of the sound outside, one that Sam recognizes in an instant.

He drops his pencil, crouches on the floor to reach under his bed for his helmet, and races down the stairs, only dimly catching a “Sammy! Homework?” as he does. (Which he, of course, ignores. His mom’s wrath or not, this is hero business. He’ll figure out how to make up for it later.)

The sight that greets him when he reaches the backyard, a gold-helmeted figure hunched over on the grass, clearly trying to catch his breath, isn’t a surprise. Still, he asks:

“Rich?”

“Hey, kid.” Rich still sounds a little breathless; it’s a moment before he hoists himself up off of the ground. He turns, and there’s this half-smirk that starts to pull on his mouth that Sam thinks can’t lead anywhere good. “Is that – math on your face?”

Yeah, definitely not good.

Sam balances his helmet in one hand and reaches the other toward toward his face, only to find a loose page from his math notebook stuck to the side of it.

“Shut up,” he grumbles as he peels it from his skin and crumples it into a ball. Even after he’s tossed it onto the ground, Rich is still smiling.

Ugh.

It doesn’t last, though, because Rich’s face soon turns grim and serious.

“The Corps. They’re…” Rich trails off then, but Sam already knows what’s coming before the thought finishes. You don’t forget the faces or the voices of the people who told you that your dad’s probably never coming home again. “We’re it.” Another beat of silence, then: “I’m about to ask you to do something dangerous. And I wish I didn’t have to, but I really need your help.”

Sam turns the words over in his head, tightly grips the helmet in his hands as he does. He could have an out, he knows, and if whatever’s going on really is that dangerous, he thinks about it for a split second for the benefit of his mom and Kaelynn. But he knows that it wouldn’t sit right with him to stay on the sidelines when he could do something. He carries a legacy, and that’s not what it stands for.

“Novas always gotta step up,” he says, quiet but firm.

“Yeah.” Rich nods his understanding. “Yeah, we do.”

#asks #anonymous #sam alexander #richard rider #* fic #* prompt fic

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soranihimawari · 4 years

Text

No Risk, No Reward

taglist: @kaidasen

Side notes: part 3 of this tale and well i hope you like some cafe banter and maybe some calculus problems. this was my favorite conversation(s) to write between muda, akaashi, and bokuto, lol.

next >>

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ℙ𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝟛:

18:17

To: ┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘blessed_setter keiji┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘

Frm: ಥ⌣ಥmiserablerage_muda ಥ⌣ಥ

Waiting on you guys to show up and I texted Bo-kun. He said you weren’t coming? What the hell Akaashi? It’s not my turn to babysit him

18:38

To: ಥ⌣ಥmiserablerage_muda ಥ⌣ಥ

From: ┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘blessed_setter keiji┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘

Listen, Bokuto literally begged me to have you tutor him (last minute mind you because I knew you were home right now), Hotaru-san [1/2]

We were in a practice match and he just freakin’ blurted it out of left field after he was called out by our coach for his low grade in the trigonometry quiz this week. Then he went into his “dejected-emo mode,” and to make matters worse, he heard from Kaori-senpai archery club is going to be disbanded by the student council. He got all worked up and every time he kept missing the tosses Shuichi was giving him. Bokuto means well, and he’s a big dumbass because he doesn’t know how to properly act around you.

TLDR: just lecture Bokuto about sin cos and tan today.

18:40

To: ┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘blessed_setter keiji┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘

Frm: ಥ⌣ಥmiserablerage_muda ಥ⌣ಥ

…? Bokuto’s always been the kind one Keiji-san. Did Bo-kun actually catch feelings for me? Or are you just being snarky with that?

18:41

To: ┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘blessed_setter keiji┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘

Frm: ಥ⌣ಥmiserablerage_muda ಥ⌣ಥ

ISTG AKAASHI-BOKE! YOU BETTER OPEN THIS WHEN YOU GET HOME! >..<

After reading Akaashi’s essay of a text, I propped open my thermos and began drinking the warm tea in hopes of hiding my grin. Oh no, is Bokuto starting to catch feelings for me? Oh crap! I thought. This can’t be happening, bonk that noise. Let’s do some calculus homework!

I nodded my head back and forth like an Etch & Sketch. I then took out my notebook and calculus textbook in order to prep my mindset for trigonometry tutorials.

Once I got into my studious rhythm, I had thoroughly solved two limit equations where one answer yielded “the limit does not exist,” and the other was just a graph of a function, f(x) = x3 − 3x + 2.

I saw a hand reach out for my parfait and I smacked it away.

“Oww,” Bokuto yelped. “I was just going to taste one spoonful Hotaru-chan!”

“You’re late Bokuto,” I mused. “So no parfait for you!”

I picked up my spoon and took another portion into my mouth. The blueberry tartness made my facial muscles contract into a slight pout. I was humming along to the cafe playlist absentmindedly when Bokuto pulled out the chair across from me and sat down. We sat in silence for a few minutes as I let him settle down post-volleyball practice. He took out his notebook and without even thinking, he leaned into my personal space bubble. I had to lower my gaze away from his because I had one final equation to complete before I could devote some time to a proper tutoring session.

“Are you going to be ok Hotaru?”

“Yeah, why do you ask Bo-kun?”

“...,” he paused for a moment before continuing; his silver hair was being swayed by the air vent on top of our table. I smiled gently because I know Bokuto usually has trouble with trying to say many thoughts at once but he does have a particular sweet tooth (i.e. he loves lemon ice pops on a spring morning; appreciates me coming to all the volleyball matches especially if Nekoma’s captain is involved (and the fact that he kept the friendship owl-origami Akaashi and I made for him on his birthday last year). He had a hard time communicating properly, but his body language telegraphed to me that what Akaashi’s text said was true.

“If this is about the archery club being dissolved by our student council, then don’t worry ab-”

“I do worry about you because you’re the coolest captain our school’s ever had!”

“Coming from the captain of the volleyball club that sounds more like an insult.”

“You don’t mean that, right?” His eyes were darting all over the place and suddenly, I wished I hadn’t said that aloud.

“Bokuto, of course I don’t mean that, but have you or Akaashi ever come to any of my tournament matches?” I closed my calculus textbook after I had copied the last problem in pencil in my notebook.

“No, we haven’t. It’s not like we can pick and choose when our matches are either.”

There was a silent rage building in the back of my mind and maybe now wasn’t the time nor the place to say this to my friend, but he needed the reality check since he’s the ace.

“Kotaro, please hear me out as a fellow captain first then as your friend second.”

I closed my notebook and stuck the spoon inside my parfait glass; I pushed the dessert toward his side of the table and he began to pick at the whipped lemon-zest flavored cream.

“OK, Hotaru. I’ll listen, but man! This whipped cream is amazingly refreshing!”

I chuckled at his childlike wonder when it came to beautiful and photogenic desserts. Wait a second, has Bokuto always seemed this handsome in the evening sky? Oh, oh no. I thought. I shook my head in order to tuck those nsfw thoughts away in the back of my mind. I took in a deep breath and on my exhale, I started to stare into the space behind his head where the window to the outside public was.

“I’m the only member of the archery club left in Fukurodani, Bokuto. All my third year senpais graduated in our second year. You and Akaashi were always so busy and dedicated to your own club that you even got to be in the top five aces of Japan. I’ve been to every single match I could because I was able to finish my practices early enough to catch some of the highlights on the evening news.

“You never asked me once when my tournaments were or what the awards ceremonies were like. Akaashi is equally as guilty because you’re always together with the club or hanging out with other teammates during away training camps.”

“Well, those were trips arranged by our coach and managers, but that can’t be helped. Are you angry at me? What did I do wrong?”

“Ko, please listen to me first and you didn’t do anything wrong. I can’t stay mad you (or Akaashi) forever, but I need to say this so you can understand what is making my voice sound bitter.”

He folded his arms over the table and leaned forward almost as if he wanted to receive some sort of praise but with his stare being more obvious now, I had lost my train of thought.

Bokuto is many things to the outside world (loud, kind, ace, etc), but for right now, I needed to level with him as a captain and set aside our mutual friendship for once. When this conversation would cease, would he still want to give it his all on his court? Will my emotions cause me to lose my sense of pride as an archer or worse, his and Akaashi’s camaraderie?

“The student council told me that when the inter-high games start up again for volleyball, I was given a month left to clear out and organize the archery club belongings. My mornings are spent alone on the target fields, Kotaru. I set up and clear out an hour before classes begin because I know the other sports teams need the space.

After my meeting today, Kaori and Yukie saw me sauntering off into the faculty office to let our maths-sensei know what had occurred minutes prior. That’s why Kaori asked Akaashi about me and when I heard you were having a rough day too, Akaashi told me you were going to meet here like we always did for our tutoring sessions.”

I closed my spiral notebook with a solemn face. Bokuto, who is usually brash and fearless was eerily quieter since his voice was softer than normal when he spoke to me.

“I didn’t know you practiced alone in the mornings, if I did, then maybe I would have texted Shuichi or Akaashi to help you. Hell, even if I would have woken up too.”

I reached out to place a hand on his right shoulder to show I had appreciated the gesture, but I pushed my calloused fingertips on to the knots that were forming there. Being an ace is tough work, but being an archer has left my hands “unpretty” with calloused fingertips.

“Did you or Akaashi know that I’m in the top three inter-high archers for our prefecture? Did you know that I have fired nearly three hundred arrows since we gained club captain status?” I inquired. “That’s almost the same amount as spike tosses Akaashi practices with you in like the last four years alone.”

I felt the sting of my own angry tears glaze over and even if Bokuto was maybe three hours overdue for another deject-mode, he got all mopey again because I invaded his personal space bubble without meaning to. He was able to relax a little bit while the tensed knots loosened; I noticed he was looking at my right hand because it was swiftly tucking away pens into my messenger bag pocket. I released my firm grip off his shoulder when he reached out to hold my hand in his.

If this were a shojo romance, maybe this would have been an amazing meet-cute idea to introduce the main couple. However, Nanase Ohkawa did not write my life with the parliament of owls, although Cardcaptor Sakura was the only magical girl manga I truly loved. I actually was more interested in reading more horror manga at this point in my life since I was a fan of early 1930-1950s monster films (cira the Twilight Zone reruns on YouTube) nowadays anyway.

“Your hands are rough,” Bokuto stated in an empathetic tone. “They’re pretty though. I like how they feel calloused from your bow. Do you want me to hold your hand?”

Smooth as hell, this one, but thick headed when it came to trigonometry, I thought. I shrugged my shoulder and extended my other hand to him.

“I have two hands, Bokuto,” I said. His laughter shook through his entire body. Two of us can be as sweet as we wanted because we were too stubborn to admit that maybe, just maybe, we might actually like each other in the same way as when someone hands you a warm cup of hot chocolate on new years’ eve.

“Can I walk you home like this?” Bokuto raised our linked hands.

“Of course, but first, I need you to tell me what the difference is between sin, cos, and tan.”

#norisknoreward #haikyu!! fiction #fukurodani vbc and archery club #ocs ans ot3s #a gal & 2 best buds #let's write a short story because i'm a hoot

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k-drabblings · 5 years

Text

only then (pt. 5)

KIM JIWON (BOBBY) X READER Type | Genre: badboy au | fluff/angst Word Count: 1663 A/N: I thought this was much longer than 1.6k words... Guess not. Also I do update very very slow, I know. It’s mostly because I have no idea what to write next, and I don’t want to write nonsense. So thank you for your patience. I hope this doesn’t disappoint! To be honest, it feels a little weird to write about Hanbin after the huge scandal, but it felt weirder leaving him out of the story after including him in the beginning.

Also wtf happened to line breaks? Why is that not an option anymore? This sucks.

part one two three four

Jiwon looked at the well healed scar on his arm fondly, running his finger along the raised ridge. His smile couldn’t help but widen as his phone buzzed.

[23:22] y/n: i can’t sleep [23:22] jiwon: y? [23:22] jiwon: cause ur too excited to be talking to me? [23:23] y/n: ... zzz ... [23:23] y/n: o look i fell asleep

He chuckled. Within a matter of days, teasing had already become part of their regular banter. So cute.

[23:23] jiwon: ... [23:23] jiwon: do u think ur funny or something bc let me tell u rn that u r not [23:23] jiwon: boooooooo [23:24] y/n: if im so unfunny then y r u texting me hmm HMM??? [23:24] jiwon: cause i pity u [23:24] y/n: ... [23:24] y/n: GOODNIGHT

Even though he knew was joking, his fingers still quickly scrambled to reply.

[23:24] jiwon: im just kidding!! [23:24] jiwon: ur funny sometimes [23:24] jiwon: a little bit [23:24] jiwon: real little [23:25] y/n: then go talk to ur other super exciting and funny friends y dont u [23:25] jiwon: now dont be jealous [23:25] jiwon: the more time u spend with me the more exciting and fun u become [23:25] y/n: ive only seen u like 3x [23:25] jiwon: thats y ur so not funny

His finger hovered over the keyboard, wondering if he should type out the next line. He knew it was probably a bad idea, but he couldn’t help himself. Fuck it. He firmly pressed the upward arrow.

[23:26] jiwon: so i guess we’ve come to the logical conclusion that we should hang out more [23:26] y/n: i guess we have

You felt bold as you sent that last message. Was this considered flirting? You hadn’t known that your heart rate could increase so much within a mere 4 minutes. The past few nights had consisted of increasingly witty and teasing messages - messages that got your heart racing, your face flushing, and your imagination going a little crazy. Nothing even close to romantic had happened between you and him, and yet your ridiculous mind was coming up with possible scenarios that could maybe (just maaaybe) happen in the nearby future. You felt like an silly high schooler again, getting too easily excited over someone you barely knew. You didn’t even know how exactly how old he was or what he did for living.

But all those unanswered questions just made you more excited - kind of like a good mystery book you just didn’t want to put down.

[23:27]: jiwon: ok so whens ur next day off

Your breath hitched. You were off the upcoming Thursday, which was in 2 days. You hadn’t expected the next time you were going to see Jiwon to come so soon. You were used to seeing him like twice a month. You knew you could simply lie and give him your next day off, which was in a week or so, but you knew you didn’t want to wait that long.

[23:28] y/n: thursday [23:28] jiwon: ok cool so ill see u then [23:28] jiwon: and if ur busy... [23:28] jiwon: make yourself unbusy thanks

Your lips curled into a smile. How could someone this cute possibly be bad news?

“You’re distracted, Hyung.” Donghyuk mumbled quietly so Hanbin wouldn’t hear.

“Hm?” Jiwon murmured. “Nah, I’m good.”

Donghyuk’s eyes narrowed as he carefully tried to peer over Jiwon’s shoulder to see what was keeping him so preoccupied. A girl’s name. He rolled his eyes. He was more than willing to bet that this was the same girl that had so nicely bandaged Jiwon up that rainy night. “Let’s keep outsiders... outsiders, okay, Hyung?” Donghyuk warned in a hushed tone.

Jiwon immediately shut off his phone screen and gave his younger friend a long hard stare. “I’m not fucking stupid, okay?”

And of course, despite Donghyuk’s words, he still went to see her on Thursday. They met up later in the afternoon, mainly because he slept in well into the afternoon. Since he did his work mainly at night, his sleeping schedule tended to be slightly off. When he woke up, you were getting some errands done - groceries and such. That gave him some time to get dressed and ready - he wanted to look good for the first date. This is a date right? He hadn’t made it explicitly clear, but he was hoping you were on the same page as he was.

He recalled the the other day that you had said you wanted to try this restaurant that you had seen on some celebrities eating on TV. And since it was on the other side of Seoul Station, they could walk along Seoullo 7017 along the way. He supposed that would be a good, somewhat nice way to start the date.

And you were delightfully surprised at how much Jiwon had actually planned out. You wouldn’t say it aloud, but you had been expecting somewhat of a haphazard schedule of activities that randomly popped up into his mind.

“You look cute.” You jokingly scowled. “Are you saying I wasn’t cute before?” He rolled his eyes and laughed. “That’s exactly what I’m saying.” He put his hands up defensively when he earned a playful punch to the arm. “Hey, you gotta appreciate my honesty, right?” He grinned. “No, but seriously. You should wear dresses more often.”

“Thanks,” you mumbled shyly, having always been slightly awkward at accepting compliments. You glanced down at your outfit. It was a pretty plain dress, but this was the most dressed up he had ever seen you.

“Where’s the scar from - if you don’t mind me asking?” He asked, pointing to the mark on your forearm. If it hadn’t been for that scar, he probably would have never recognized you. “Nothing cool,” you responded. “Got it while I was helping out at the bakery a while ago. Hot stuff can do that to you sometimes, you know.” He laughed. “See? You’re already getting funnier - thanks to me.” You rolled your eyes exaggeratedly but couldn’t help but join him in laughter.

You were sure he had a fair share of scars all over his body, and also exciting stories behind them. But you were reluctant to ask, afraid that it could ruin the lighthearted mood.

The rest of the evening went by in a blur - partially because Jiwon had convinced you to share a bottle of soju with him during dinner. ‘You can’t enjoy pork belly without soju!’ he had insisted. You had initially refused, being worried that you might end up blabbering and saying something stupid or embarrassing. But Jiwon was one convincing young man.

But luckily the only embarrassing thing that slipped out was a, “Fine, you’re kinda cute, okay?” after he had pestered you about what you thought about him. And boy, did he enjoy that answer.

You were partially disappointed when the date ended with a simple hug. You probably would have thought he were moving too fast if he had gone in for a kiss, but by no means would you have refused. In fact, as much as you hated to admit it, you'd immediately have shut your eyes and puckered your lips. But a long, warm hug was what you got tonight. And you weren’t complaining. "Thanks. Today was really fun,” you said with a warm smile. “Okay, so when can we have fun again?”

All of a sudden, you had something to look forward to every week. Every date with Jiwon was exciting. You got to experience thrilling things like ziplining, but even just sitting at a cafe and chatting got your heart pumping. You felt like your life had been recharged. You had even bravely kissed him on the cheek when he had dropped you off at your door tonight.

As Jiwon walked over to work after dropping you off, he heard a familiar voice calling his name. “Jiwon Hyung! Hyung!” Junhoe shouted from down the block. "Where’re you coming from?” He asked, frowning. Wherever Jiwon was coming from, it wasn’t from the direction of his home. Jiwon played it off vaguely. “Just was doing something. Don’t worry about it.” “Come on, tell me!” Junhoe whined. “Why’s it a secret, huh?” Jiwon pressed his fingers against his tall friend’s forehead and gave it a good shove. “Have you ever heard of a personal space? Look it up.” He couldn’t recall the last time anyone had made him so easily excited, and he wasn’t willing to part with you now.

His friends had also noticed that he was constantly in a good mood these past few weeks. Donghyuk wasn’t too happy about it, but the others seemed to enjoy having a less moody Jiwon around. He wondered if Hanbin knew what Jiwon was getting himself into outside of work. But he didn’t want to tick off Jiwon, so he kept his mouth shut. A pissed off Jiwon was one scary man.

“How long do u plan on keeping this up, Hyung? It’s going to serve as a distraction to you and a danger to her. She doesn’t even know what you really do. If you tell her, do you think she’ll stay?” Donghyuk hissed. “Yeah, right.” “I know. I know.” Jiwon mumbled. This was like the fifth time he had approached him about this issue. He was thankful that Donghyuk hadn’t blabbed to the rest of the guys, but it was a disturbing reminder every time. Why was it so wrong to enjoy it while it lasted?

#jiwon #kim jiwon #bobby kim #bobby #ikon #ikon bobby #kpop scenarios #kpop fanfics #jiwon x reader #bobby x reader #ikon scenarios #kpop imagines

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craftedincarhartt · 5 years

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The Women of Operating Engineers 324

Operating Engineers 324, based out of Howell, Michigan, has been serving its union members for over 100 years. They now boast over 14,000 members as they help build Michigan’s future. We had a unique opportunity to meet with some of the sisterhood. Join us as we introduce you to some of OE 324's best.

Meet the Women of Operating Engineers 324 (in order of appearance)

Jessica Knight has been a part of Local 324 for 3 years. Before that, she served in Heavy Equipment Construction through the Army Reserves for 18 years.

"I love the fact that I walked into both the Army and the Union with an open mind and wide eyes. I feel like I have a better chance at my own personal success. Being a woman, you have to have thick skin. If you can dish it, be ready to take it. And be open minded.

I’m helping rebuild Michigan. And showing women we got what it takes. Sometimes, you get guys who think you’re a princess. They might stare if you’re curvy, and talk about you behind your back. And you know what? I’m fine with that. Keep talking, because I’m doing my job right, so that you can run your mouth." -Jessica Knight

Christi Smith has over 21 years of experience as an Operating Engineer. She was in construction before joining the trades and wishes she had joined right after graduating from high school. Her goal is to work 35 years and retire at a young age. Before she does that, she plans on working as hard as she can, to the very last.

Christi loves her job for many reasons. But at the end of the day, she loves getting paid to play in the dirt. Even though she’s certified to operate many different pieces of equipment, like the overhead crane, she has a few favorite machines: the side boom, forklift, and skid loader. Those are the machines that are always moving.

Over the coarse of her career, she’s seen many changes. More and more women are joining the trades and more and more folks are accepting that. She notes that the worksite has become a safer place as well—putting the common good over a quick build.

Christi is certain that the best move she ever made in her life was joining OE 324. She couldn't be more proud to be part of a union.

“You work with a lot of great people on great jobs. And you always have a support system. The union takes care of you, keeping up to date with technology and providing a place where you can improve your skills. You’re a part of a group of people who are proud of their work and what they do.” -Christi Smith

La’Tasha Smith will be a Journeyman Civil Engineer after graduating the program. She is currently a second year apprentice with no previous experience in the field.

"Honesty, I never had any interest in the trades. I went to a career fair and one of the female coordinators approached me and was able to convince me to give it a shot.I was 28 and broken—lost, homeless, and defeated!! Life had run me over with a truck and backed up to finish the job!! I felt hopeless. So I told her that there was no way I'd ever make it into that career, especially with no experience!! But she was convinced I could, and I actually did!

The training is very intimidating and fast paced. The obstacles I faced were being able to quickly adapt to the new career culture which is made up of predominantly males, learning new machines quickly and safely, remembering all the rules and regulations, schedule changes, and weather conditions affecting work.

I stayed connected to other women in the trade at my company. I asked as many questions as I needed to...Do the legwork. Educate yourself as much as possible and stay teachable.” -La'Tasha Smith

Ashley O’Grady works under the Road Builders Contract, which covers heavy highways, bridges, and airport work. Currently, she’s on a concrete paving crew. She has 4 years of experience.

“I went through the operators apprenticeship program. The training from that gave me the confidence and skills I needed to be successful in the field. I have found support in all my brothers and sisters I’ve met through my union... I feel a great sense of pride when I get to see the finished product, knowing I played a big role helping build it.” -Ashley O'Grady

Ashley was interested in the trades because she knew she could be successful and make good wages without going to college. If she had known how much she’d love the work, she would have joined even sooner. The long hours have been the most trying part of the job, but the sense of brother/sisterhood, along with great health care, benefits, and a pension make it all worth it.

“I feel like construction workers have a bad stigma sometimes. I wish people actually knew how serious skilled trades are and how successful you can be.”  -Ashley O’Grady

Elizabeth Kavanagh is a second generation union member.

"My mom and dad are both in the trades, so it has always been a part of my life. My mom is in the UAW but she is also an operator for Ford Motor Company and my dad is a lineman in the IBEW Local 17. I went to college for a year and was not interested in going back, so I started looking into different trades.

I got into the Operating Engineers when I was 20, so this is my first career. I think the best part of my job is that I love what I do. I love meeting new people. I also enjoy being able to work outside all day.

I think any young woman that wants to get in the trades should go for it. You can always change what you do. If you think you are interested, give it a shot. You can't tell if you like it or not if you don’t try.” -Elizabeth Kavanagh

Danielle Athey’s interest in the trades soared when she discovered she could travel through work and start her career while training, all without taking out loans for school. She currently works on the pipeline and has one more year left of her apprenticeship. Danielle's been busy, particularly this past winter, taking class after class, making sure she is as educated as she can be.

"In one year, I see myself getting close to graduating the apprenticeship and eventually becoming a journeyman. In five years, I see myself traveling the country with my work. In ten years, I hope by then I have my own house and property... My advice is don’t be afraid of anything. Have confidence and don’t ever think you can’t ask for help. The support from my coworkers helped me more than anything." -Danielle Athey

To find out more about joining Operating Engineers 324, click here. To shop favorite Carhartt gear, now availablein hardworking new sizes from XS to 3X, click here.

#girl power #union #blue collar #women in construction #women in trades #women in unions #construction #photography #women's issues #Michigan #Operating Engineers 324 #Detroit

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athena1138 · 4 years

Text

work rant. tl;dr i’m unbelievably tired.

Things are rough. Blatantly. There’s no other way to say it.

My residents have been locked in their rooms for 10 weeks now, the first 2 of those because one of them brought in a rotovirus that spread like wildfire (even to me.)

I get they’re depressed and lonely and tired and jittery. But I’m over it.

We have one lady who’s literally on her death bed because she stopped taking care of herself. Right now I think she has a UTI because she’s getting up to pee four times an hour. It wouldn’t be a problem for us except that she leaves the light on to get back in bed “because she’s worried about falling” (nevermind she has never once fallen in my 7 months working here,) so she pages us to come turn it off. Four times an hour. Tonight, I said I wasn’t having it. The girl before me had almost had a breakdown trying to keep up with her, but this was her first night dealing with it because she’s been off. Not me. I’ve had four nights dealing with this. So tonight, the lady paged around 11:50 for her light. Fine. In and out. There were a lot of dishes left out in the hall from dinner, so I grabbed a cart and started picking them up. Literally 4 minutes after I left her room, she paged again. Nah. No. She can wait until I’m done, because I know it’s her light. She literally only pages for her light. 4 nights and dozens of pages have cemented this fact for me, so I’m not worried about making her wait a few minutes.

It took me 10 minutes to gather all the dishes, get them rinsed, an rack them so they’re ready for washing in the morning. Within those 10 minutes, she paged FOURTEEN TIMES. FOR HER FUCKING LIGHT. I’m trying to be calm. I’m trying not to get mad. She can’t help it. She’s got very bad dementia, she doesn’t realize how often she’s doing it. But holy fucking shit. We’ve tried talking to her daughter, but she won’t do anything. She’s only come in 2x to get her up and walking around. Like, yes, she needs exercise, but she needs to go to a doctor, too. She also needs a night light because she keeps asking us to leave lights on but the only light she can stand is from her window which i still too dark. I’ve tried literally anything else I could think of--oven light, TV on mute, cracking the bathroom door, moving the bullshit little blue light in her bathroom, nothing. No. Daughter won’t get it.

So there’s that.

We also have a resident who is, quite frankly, an asshole. I can’t stand him. He has done nothing but bitch since lockdown started.

What kills me is that it’s not even things that he used to bitch about. Before, he never ever ate kitchen food except breakfast. He ate lunch and dinner from his own food. Well, since lockdown, he has been getting trays. But he’s bitching about the trays. He’s bitching about being given soup he didn’t ask for, about food being gross, about this, about that, and it’s like dude. Don’t fucking order it if you don’t fucking want it. But it’s not just that. He went to the hospital last week and came back today, and he threw a HUGE fit because he’s missing 2 newspapers. Like, he made the girl working cry, and she doesn’t fucking cry. He’s blown up at me before because there was no jelly on his table for breakfast and that’s not even my fucking job, but when I told him that we were out of it, he yelled at me more about “You can’t fucking order enough food for 40 fucking people? What kind of a place is this?” THEN LEAVE. IF YOU’RE SO GODDAMN MISERABLE, LEAVE. Or he’ll come out and look out the front windows at night, which, whatever. Doesn’t bother me much. Except every other night he’ll ask if the storage room is open and I’ll say no, but I can open it for him, and he says no and just goes back to his room. Like??? Why’d you ask???

My favorite guy has always reminded me of No Face because he’s tall and doesn’t really know what’s going on, but these last few weeks, he’s just. I can’t even explain it. It’s like he’s empty. His dementia has gotten so bad. He’s stopped flushing his toilet, we think he’s peeing on his laundry, his speech is almost imperceptible he’s so quiet, he’s lost weight which is scary because he was already so skinny.

We have another dementia dude who had hip surgery a little over a month ago, and his aids are BITCHES. We HATE them. We’ve been fighting with them for weeks. They went fucking 3 weeks without giving him a bath or telling us he wasn’t getting a bath, so his skin is terrible. He’s itchy all the time, so they’re saying that it’s his pain medicine which is causing it, which isn’t true. They’re trying to keep him doped up so they don’t have to deal with him, but since we told our boss about it and he talked to theirs, they all of a sudden don’t want us giving him it anymore. All of a sudden, the pain meds make him itch and “are what caused his dementia” and make him dizzy. But none of that is true. He has other people who come in to help him, plus we see him and we’ve known him for months, and we all see that it’s bullshit. But they’re still here. And they have the gall to tell us how to do our jobs. They’re not nurses, they’re not RAs, they’re just random ass people their boss found. One is a high school dropout (not that there’s anything wrong with that, but considering that she’s talking about medical things, it’s relevant,) and the other thinks she knows what she’s talking about because she drove the bus for our neighboring facility. From which she got fired. For being a dick to her passengers. They’re like, “Well he needs his medicine at 6, not 8.” No, he doesn’t. This is when he’s had it for months. “You need to do this.” McFuckinScuse me? Ohohoh, and the kicker? They’ve been saying he’s “end life” since his surgery. Even though he’s not in pain, even though he’s much, much clearer because he got new anti-psychotic medication, even though he’s so much better now than he ever has been. Like. I’ve never been in a fight. but I’m gonna throw hands.

And we have people bitching about every little thing. Their breakfast arrives cold. Well, you have a microwave, we can’t keep it all hot because we deliver it by floor, not by room. They weren’t abiding the 6-foot-apart rule so we had to take out the furniture in the living room and outside, so they’re acting like children and saying shit like, “Well we’re jut going to sit in our walkers anyway.” Which we can’t do anything to stop them but like. Whatever. We have to spray down our mail and newspapers with our sanitizing gun before we can deliver it, so Every. Single. Morning. we get a phone call from one resident in particular who just angrily demands, “WHERE’S MY PAPER” and then hangs up. EVERY GODDAMN MORNING. LIKE DUDE YOUR FUCKING PAPER WILL BE THERE CALM THE FUCK DOWN.

Do you know how many fucking times we’ve been asked, “Well when is all this gonna end?” At least 5x a day, depending on the shift. I’ve even been asked on the midnight shift a couple of times. We don’t know when it’s going to end. We don’t control when it’s going to end. If you have a complaint, take it to our boss because we’re busy doing 3x the workload for the same fucking pay. One woman comes down every morning at 7:23 to see if the dining room is open yet despite the fact that we’ve told her it won’t be for several more weeks at least, and another lady is literally standing in the hallway for her breakfast before we’ve even started fucking making it.

And it’s just. It’s all day. All day there’s someone bitching about something insignificant, and it’s ridiculous. We have residents forgetting their children’s names, residents struggling to thrive, residents literally on the verge of dying, but everybody else is wasting our time with their petty and childish complaints about things which are meant to protect them, about things that we don’t have the power to change.

I just want to scream. I want to scream and cry and sleep for a solid week. And what makes it worse, what just turns this from a bad situation into a terrible goddamn nightmare is the fact that this is going to have to go on even longer because our government is so caught up in the idea of working us to death to profit itself that we’re opening everything up too fast and all this is going to start all over again.

The RAs are stir crazy, but at least we get to leave. We get to go outside, go home, maybe go hit a drive through or a gas station. When I say people have been locked in their rooms for 10 weeks, I mean people haven’t fucking stepped out into the hallway for 10 weeks. Some have. Some have been to see their neighbors, some have gone out, like they’re allowed (but if they go out, they’re under 14 day quarantine meaning they can’t leave their rooms unless they’re leaving again,) but I don’t think a good 1/3 of these people have even been outside to enjoy the sun. In 10 weeks. 70+ days. So I understand the crabbiness. I do. I don’t appreciate it, especially not directed at us, but I understand it. I’m just. So tired. And there’s so much left to muddle through still.

If I believed in a god, I’d say “God help us when we have to announce our extended lockdown,” but it’s a lawless universe without a master, so there’s no hope. We’re just fucked. We’re all so, so tired.

Please. Just please. Stay home.

#shut up becca #becca's work #becca rants #becca's work rants

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