#I’ve reread it so many times afterward

[opheliaweeps]

been losing it over the rwrb trailer (going absolutely insane, I’ve listened to nothing other than ‘that’s what I want’ for the last few days) and figured now’s as good a time as any to reread this masterpiece for the nth time. and I’m going through the book and the notes I’ve made and I remembered that the biggest thing about this beautiful story, for me, was that it helped me figure out I’m, like, super not-straight.

alex’s journey in understanding himself honestly could not be more different than mine, but one thing he thinks shifted my whole worldview:

“Straight people, he thinks, probably don’t spend this much time convincing themselves they’re straight.”

I read this line, went yeah duh, and went about my day. A few weeks later, I’m staring at the ceiling with this quote running through my head on loop. and I kept thinking about the new influx of information that was being made available to me through the internet and my own growing freedom, and I realized that alex maybe had a point.

rwrb didn’t exactly help me figure out who exactly I am (the credit for that goes to aftg, but that’s a mess we’ll get into another day), but it helped me take the first step in understanding that a) I am queer, and b) there’s nothing wrong with that.

so, long story short, been a reader since rwrb was first published, I probably owe casey my first-born kid for this funny and heart-wrenchingly honest story, and I can’t wait to see alex and henry’s love story on-screen.

((seriously, I’m so excited for the movie im going to be insufferable from august 11 onward))

#jyot writes #red white and royal blue #my writing #my thoughts #my stuff #lgbtqia #queer pride #rwrb book #rwrb movie #this was one of the first openly queer books I’d ever read #after Simon vs #and honestly #I’ve reread it so many times afterward #it’s so beautiful #and the characters and amazing and flawed and true

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Errors, “Errors,” and Animorphs

So in a different post I ranted about how a tiny non-distracting unfixable difference between two shirts is not an error in Jurassic Park.  IMHO, a continuity gap is only an error if:

It draws attention to itself and distracts the audience

It could’ve been fixed pretty easily in-story

It makes character, plot, or setting nonsensical

Animorphs has continuity gaps of its own.  And I have opinions about what we readers do and do not count as “error.”  First, an example that’s clearly an error:

I wondered if Tobias had heard my thought. I concentrated. Tobias, can     you hear me?

«Yeah,» he said, «I hear you.»

“Did you hear my thoughts before that?” I asked.

«No, I don’t think it works that way.  You have to think at me for me to     hear.»

—#1: The Invasion

Tobias briefly hearing Jake thought-speak in #1 breaks the rules of the setting; several other books (#2, #23, #31, #33, #46) clearly state that it’s impossible to thought-speak if one is human and not in morph.  It’s an easy fix; the re-releases and audiobooks delete this moment, and the graphic novel makes Tobias unable to hear Jake.  It distracts the audience; I’ve gotten 5 or 6 separate asks over the years of people going “I was rereading #1, and the weirdest thing...” It’s an error.  I can’t say what happened behind the scenes — K.A. Applegate toyed with a thread that was later dropped, or decided to introduce a limitation for plot fuel at a later time.  But it’s an error.

Second, an example that I don’t think counts as an error:

I returned to my life, feeling strange and out of place. That night Jake came over. We went outside.

"I tried morphing the Tyrannosaurus," he said. "Nothing. Didn't work."

"You could ask Ax. He may know why."

Jake laughed. "Yeah, but even if he explains it, I still won't understand it."

—MM2: In the Time of the Dinosaurs [Cassie’s narration]

The kids not being able to morph dinosaurs outside of the Cretaceous Era makes a lot of sense in context.  The whole book series would fundamentally change if they could use T. rex — that would become heavily a favored morph for many of them.  It kicks off all kinds of plot questions that demand answers: Where do the controllers think the “andalite bandits” got dino DNA? What anti-dinosaur measures would they be forced to adopt? Would the Animorphs’ whole strategy change around having those morphs? How would Rachel feel about everyone but Tobias suddenly having a much stronger morph than her? Would they even bother with contemporary animal morphs afterward?

If the kids are morphing dinosaurs all the time after ~#18, then the series loses a lot of its uniqueness.  Applegate has said that most of the inspiration for the series was about trying to help kids understand what it would really be like to be inside an animal mind, with as many animals as possible.  That’s part of why so many of the plots hinge on giving the Animorphs an excuse to learn a new morph (e.g. #4, #17, #27, #47, #52) so that we can experience the coolness right along with them.  That’s why the war is explicitly about fighting for Earth, nonhumans and all (#7, #23, #53).  If it’s not a menagerie of six different critters — including one immigrant from space — rolling up to battle, then it’s not Animorphs. No, it makes no dang sense that sario rip morphs stop working once the rip gets unripped.  But the series acknowledges it, and it allows us both to have a unique animal-based story (dinosaurs! Heckin dinosaurs!) without ruining its own premise.

Third, one that I find fascinating because it’s kind of right on the margin:

"What I don't get is why I have to be a girl wolf," Marco grumbled.

"We had one male and one female," Cassie explained for the tenth time. "If two of us morphed into the male, we'd have two males. Two male wolves might decide they had to fight for dominance."

"I could control it," Marco said.

"Marco, you and Jake already fight for dominance, and you're just ordinary guys," Rachel pointed out.

—#3: The Encounter

Later, Tobias’s narration uses the word “alpha” to describe Jake’s morphed behavior — howling and peeing to mark territory, challenging another wolf pack to protect his own.

There is scientific consensus right now, as of the 2020s, that the term “alpha” is an inaccurate descriptor of pack-lead behavior, and that dominance fights between adult males are almost nonexistent.  That although wolves usually run in a phalanx-like shape with one middle-aged male and female at the point, this isn’t the result of dominance fights but rather an effort to have the physically strongest wolves absorb blows from rogue prey animals or rival predators.  That the dominance fights observed in captive wolves in the 1970s were the result of an ecology error, putting wolves from rival packs into single enclosures.  Fox (1972, 1973) gave a reasonably accurate description of how wolves behave if you put a bunch of adult strangers in a zoo together: the young adult males fight, the winner of that fight wins first access to food, and the mate of the winner gets the most resources for her puppies.

However, time rolls forward, and advances like hidden cameras (and the resurgence of wild wolf populations) allow us to watch wolves without needing to capture them first.  Mech (1999) follows some such wolves around, and quickly realizes that dominance and submission aren’t nearly as important among wolves who chose to make a pack.  Stahler et al. (2002) figure out a better way to introduce stranger wolves in captivity, and get full cooperation among young adult males.  Nowadays drones and radio collars get 1000s of times the wolf data Fox had to work with, and reveal intense cooperation with little more than play-fighting among puppies.

The Encounter comes out 1997.  Mech publishes the first big takedown of the alpha concept 1999.

Did an error occur anywhere in this process?

No, in that Applegate presumably doesn’t own a Time Matrix and published a book based on the scientific consensus at the time about how wolf social dynamics worked.

Yes, in that the error is pretty distracting — I get drawn up short by it every time I reread #3, and I know others have too.

No, in that the error was corrected in the graphic novel adaptation.

Yes, in that the error is still present in the audiobook, and Michael Crouch delivers the moment about Jake being backed into a dominance fight with all of Tobias’s exasperated humor.

No, in that the error allows for some character moments, both silly (Jake peeing on trees) and sweet (Jake being ready to take on an entire rival pack alone, over a rabbit he doesn’t want).

Yes, in that the error takes away from one of the series’ most fundamental purposes, to educate kids about animals.

Anyway, books are great, science is imperfect, and I think the more we all engage with amateur criticism the more we’re all going to learn about what counts as an error in fiction writing with inspiration in scientific reality.

#animorphs #animorphs meta #continuity errors #retcons #fandom #lit crit #3 #1 #mm2 #there's a related question: if the third graphic novel is also set in 1997 #then how does cassie know about the alpha wolf hypothesis being debunked in 1999? #but again #answering that question would make the book worse not better #so i don't worry about it

[henswilsons]

also in honour of 6x11 being my favourite episode of all time i thought i’d do a very quick lil fic rec list of my favourite time loop/alternate universe fuckery/dream fics. this is by no means definitive or comprehensive and i know im missing so many more so if u have any others pls pls feel free to rec them bc i actually love this genre of fic so much i could read it all day

keep going, keep going come what may by @fcntasmas​ - reading this fic for the first time damaged me in the best way. i wont spoil it so i cant give any real good summary but just read it its a++++

my words are paper tigers by @hattalove​ - all i can say is that i read this fic once a week for mental health purposes. basically buck breaks up with eddie and then gets caught in a time loop and its just. wow i should reread it again today i think

don’t take the money by @hmslusitania​ - the time loop fic of all time? the time loop fic of all time. time loop fuckery circa monsters and the lawsuit arc and its just soooooo good. also chimney immediate believer no1 stan

burn the straw house down by @hoediaz​ - this fic is SAUR good god. buck and eddie get trapped in their own time loops. the buck/maddie siblings dynamic in this is GOD TIER there’s a line near the end that i won’t spoil but GOD i burst into TEARS the first time i read it. u will know which one as soon as u read it. (also by zoe is this fic which is similar alternate universe fuckery and SO GOOD pls read) 

the persistence of memory by @anxieteandbiscuits​ - i read this like on the verge of tears the whole way through. its so so good and so beautiful and i was forever changed afterwards. basically au where buck gets shot instead and eddie time loops in despair UGH its amazing) (also again by sami is her most recent fic it’s a dream fic and 6x11 spec and SO beautiful omg)

it's funny 'cause i've always dreamed of me and you by @capseycartwright - dream fic/its a wonderful life au fic!!!!!!!! this fic means everything to me you don’t even understand. its so soft and tender and ugh. i love love love it. 

again plz let me know if there r others bc i would happily read 600 more fics of this variety

#fic rec #fic rec list #buddie fic

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 16

welcome the the sixteenth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.  

1. home depot catalogue by @moonguilt

“No, really, he’d love to,” Lance said into the phone, just as Keith pressed the button for the kettle to start heating up.

Those words were enough to raise Keith’s suspicions just a tad. He shot Lance an inquisitive glance while opening the cabinet to retrieve his box of morning tea, but his husband was the picture of innocence, flipping casually through a Home Depot catalog they had received in the mail yesterday.

“Oh, definitely. If you need someone to paint your insides white, Keith’s your man.”

Keith dropped his box on the counter, tea bags spilling out onto the granite.

-----

Keith is having a normal, relaxing morning. Lance throws him a curveball.

this one made me LAUGH. out LOUD. it’s domestic and fluffy and FUNNY dear god, like it’s such a lance thing to do and such an objectively funny prank that i just!! literally just typing this makes the urge to reread it too great my hand has been forced.

2. kindling by @moonguilt

Lance struggles with his attraction to Keith during training, and it all comes to a head when Keith corners him afterwards to ask why he was off his game today.

Prompt from tumblr: Angry Kiss.

one of my fave vld tropes EVER is lance being whipped and then equally as furious that he’s attracted to keith at all. it’s endlessly funny to me. and then keith being the eyebrows raised, not surprised one??? gets me every time. also keith is a massive sweetheart in this fic and i love him

3. chocolate granola bars by @moonguilt

“A pillow fort sleepover!” Lance cried out, leaping up with such alacrity that Pidge had to grab her laptop to prevent it from sliding to the floor.

“No way, we're not—” Pidge stopped and blinked, exchanging a glance with Hunk, then looking back at Lance again. “... Oh.” She evidently had not been expecting such a tame suggestion. “Okay.”

-------------

Or, Lance is bored out of his mind and decides to organize a sleepover with the squad. Nonsense ensues, and Lance works through some confusing emotions—particularly those involving a certain mullet-haired team leader.

okay there are too many good things about this fic i cannot choose which to highlight, and so i will mention them all. ahem: a) lance is a ray of sunshine who regularly uses his power of cuteness to his advantage, b) adorable team bonding, c) shiro is a dorky nerd, d) HEALTHY LANCE AND ALLURA COMMUNICATION, e) krolia and romelle have actual characters, f) lance has allergies which isn’t rly important but he gives me a vibe that he’s allergic to several things and it’s very validating to see it in fic, g) lance validation and feeling expression for the piece of shit game show episode, h) observant lance!! and i) literally the most painful and necessary and well-written klance fight i’ve read in a while! hurt badly but was resolved wonderfully 10/10

4. Terminal Velocity by @speakswords [GORE WARNING]

The only fate worse than being tortured to death is watching, helpless, while the person you love most takes your place.

this is one of my fave vld fics of all time. although fair warning it is very violent for a good chunk of time. the story is EXCELLENT, the entire thing will have u biting ur nails in terrified anticipation and i mean that literally. whole time i was gagged. at the edge of my seat. AND i have several specific lines screenshotted bc the pure fucking devotion and care knocked me out of the water

5. you and me are cosmic dust by Yuu_chi

Knowing that your team loves and trust you no matter what and believing it are two very different things.

i LOVE keith angst. i know this fandom is very langst heavy and honestly i am too but sometimes keith angst is so so good. and this fic is one of them!! excellent read and features observant lance as well. OH and there’s a little sprinkling of suave keith in here too lol

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!    

#okay i know this one is like almost all one author again and theres a REASON for that okay #if i read a good fic the first thing i do after reading is scroll thru the authors work #so a lot of times my collections will have lots of bookmarks from one authors in a big chunk bc thats the order i read them in #anyway #vld #voltron #fic rec #fic rec friday #lance #lance mcclain #keith #keith kogane #langst #klangst #keith angst #klance #observant lance #bamf lance #lance & allura #team as family

[starsurface]

Not many pet regression stuffs so was wondering if we could get Headcanons for caregive Kano with a kitty pet regressor 🐾🐱

Of course!! I don't know a ton about kitty regressors, but I hope they're somewhat accurate!!! <3

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

CG Kano w/ Kitty Pet Regressor Hcs

⚔️ He loves you!! <3

⚔️ There are many types of kittys, from sassy to cuddly, but no matter how you act, he still finds you adorable

⚔️ If you're a sassy kitty, he finds you so entertaining

⚔️ Huffing and looking away from him when he does something ‘wrong’, softly biting him because you want to, pushing something off the table before walking past him like nothing happened

⚔️ ^ Yes, you can get away with half these things, Kano doesn’t have many types of rules

⚔️ That doesn’t mean he has no rules though

⚔️ Soft bites are fine, but you’ll get in trouble if it was hard or could hurt someone (Accidents do happen though!! And he does udnerstand that)

⚔️ This does mean he gets to bite you back though >:3

⚔️ You can only push certain things off the table, like remotes

⚔️ But you’ll get in trouble if you spill something like food or drinks on purpose

⚔️ He has to clean that up, and you don’t get snack time >:(

⚔️ ^ Unless you were having a bad day and acted out, there are some acceptions

⚔️ He’d pay for your nails (no matter your gender) so you can have ‘claws’ for when your in your headspace!! :D

⚔️ ^ Does not know anything about nails though, so he can’t really help you about what color and stuff

⚔️ If your a sleepy kitty, he’ll buy you some nice fuzzy blankets and scatter then on the couch and bed

⚔️ And steal them- He bought them, he wants to use this one right now- You own another seven!! Why do you need this specific one?

⚔️ . . . . He does end up loosing the blanket to you 🙄 (anything to make his kitty happy <3)

⚔️ You know who makes a great bed? Kano :3

⚔️ He’ll find it funny if you lay on him for naptime, but won’t push you away

⚔️ Head scratchies and back rubs!!!! You get infident of them!! (Especially at nap time, or if you put your head in his hand)

⚔️ He’ll get so many toys for you!!

⚔️ Those feathers he’ll hold above you and let you try to snatch

⚔️ A squeaky mouse, which he’ll mvoe around the room so you can ‘hunt’ it

⚔️ He might accidentally unravel your ball of yarn though :\

⚔️ It fell out of his hands!! Or the couch!! Don’t worry, he’ll rereval it for you

⚔️ If you every try to ‘sneak up and attack him’ he’ll be like one of those Cheeta Moms that give big reactions . . . Even if you made the biggest thud on your sneak over

⚔️ He will scoop you up and cuddle you afterwards though, prepare for a very long cuddle session

⚔️ If your a bit of a shy kitty, he’ll be very encouraging!!

⚔️ Why don’t you try knocking the remote off the table, ‘Luv? Here, he’ll do it first, now you can try!!

⚔️ Calls you Kitty, Little One, Nugget, Mister/Miss (when you get in trouble)

⚔️ If your okay with those nicknames cat owners give their cats, like Chonky or Demon, maybe he’ll use them, but he’s very weary of accidently hurting his kitty’s feelings, your too important to him

⚔️ He’ll get you a human cat bed, and you can sunbathed in it, or prop it on the couch and watch your cartoons

⚔️ He’ll make sure to keep many treats on hand!! He loves spoiling you!!! <3

⚔️ Candies, goldfish, whatever you want really!!

⚔️ If your okay with a collar or choker, he’ll buy you whatever kind you want imeantly, he’s got the money, don’t worry too much about it, Sweetheart <3

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Really quick, he’d call you Kitten too!! (I don't know what else kitty nicknames there are)

I just didn’t add it because I personally don’t like the nickname (and reread my own headcanons), makes me feel too icky :\ (That doesn’t mean it’s a bad nickname though!!! It can be super cute, I’ve just never received it in a positive light, you know?)

#age regression #agere #sfw age regression #mortal kombat agere #sfw agere #age regression headcanons #mk agere #mk11 #mk11 headcanons #mortal kombat 11 #mortal kombat 11 headcanons #kano #kano mk #mk kano #mk11 kano #kano x reader #cg kano #caregiver kano #kitty regression #kitty regressor #sfw petre #pet regression

[oldshrewsburyian]

I’ve reached Chapters 7-8 in my Persuasion reread, covering both the first (renewed) meeting and first (renewed) social contact between Anne and Captain Wentworth, and I put the book back on the nightstand after these two chapters because I needed to stare at the ceiling and scream internally. They contain, of course, some of the most famous/fateful passages in the novel, but also: as Austen shows us the awkwardness of these encounters, Anne’s yearning and Frederick’s resentment, she is simultaneously showing us how in love they were, and how well-suited, arguably, they still are.

I love Anne so much, and while she may be valued primarily for her usefulness, she is in fact an extremely passionate woman. (She’s also sad.) She is genuinely glad to avoid Wentworth and to be useful to her nephew. But she’s also painfully aware that she is “left with as many sensations of comfort, as were, perhaps, ever likely to be hers.” I can’t help connecting this to Lady Russell’s earlier reflection that she thinks Anne is uniquely well-suited by temperament and habits to marriage, to the life she would have as a wife and mother. Anyway. Then we get the first meeting, and poor Anne is so overwhelmed that she can’t take everything in. But after the fact we learn that, while she is barely absorbing the words and actions of those around her, she has also noticed, in some detail, that Frederick Wentworth is at least as good-looking as he was eight years ago. Anne. And it’s her perspective that gives us the “no two hearts so open” passage, in which she also reflects that they once would have found it “most difficult to cease to speak to one another,” even in the sort of social gathering where he is currently making himself so agreeable, and she is unobserved (except by him.)

Anne cannot reason herself out of feeling as strongly as she did eight years ago. But neither, we are allowed to suspect, can Wentworth, though he has convinced himself that is exactly what he has done. Our gallant captain is extremely -- not to say somewhat disturbingly -- good at turning harrowing, or at least dangerous, undertakings into fun dinner-party stories. But there is, perhaps, some bitterness in his remark that there would have been no one to think of him, had he been unsuccessful in outrunning a storm in an old and badly damaged ship. There is definitely a catch in his voice, a break in his thought, when he reflects that when he and Harville were chasing privateers together, only one of them had a wife to provide for. When he is forced to defend his "superfine, extraordinary sort of gallantry” as an unmarried man (drag him, Sophia), he is shortly afterwards impelled to rise from the sofa where he and Anne are sitting, and go definitely elsewhere. When he assures Admiral Croft that he was indeed grateful to be sent across the Atlantic in a ship classified as being only seaworthy for short distances and for a limited period of time, he all but confesses that in the aftermath of Anne’s breaking their engagement, he didn’t care whether he lived or died. And even in cheerfully telling his sister he is ready to marry, whether wisely or no, he defines what he wants in reference to Anne, whose equal (in his own opinion) he has never seen. Frederick Wentworth, you thick-skulled genius, get it together.

#persuasion reread #*chews glass harder* #frederick 'unconsciously nay unintentionally constant' wentworth everyone #and anne </3 #jane austen #persuasion #this isn't even mutual pining; passionate regret and tender attachment on one side; simmering subconscious longing on the other #this... i...

[tenebris-lux]

Content/trigger warnings: talk of self-destructive behavior and suicide.

Does anyone else find the changes in Jonathan … worrying? I think that promise to not tell Mina anything about the case is part of the reason. He can’t vent to her, she can’t encourage him to talk, so he’s starting to obsess, and the obsession is getting dragged out by the wait for the Czarina Catherine.

I’ve also been rereading a paragraph from October 3:

“To one thing I have made up my mind: if we find out that Mina must be a vampire in the end, then she shall not go into that unknown and terrible land alone. I suppose it is thus that in old times one vampire meant many; just as their hideous bodies could only rest in sacred earth, so the holiest love was the recruiting sergeant for their ghastly ranks.”

At first glance, one might think, “ohhh, that’s so sweet, he loves her so much….” But it’s not sweet. It’s … bad. Yes, he loves her THAT much. So much that if something were to happen to her, he’d let the same thing happen to himself. Vampires aren’t romantic creatures in this novel—they’re demonic, murdering monsters with no identifying behaviors of the person they used to be. The vampires are predators. They go after children, babies, take blood from people against their will, and sometimes enjoy their victims’ pain. Jonathan has seen this firsthand while helpless and in near-paralyzed states, has nearly been a victim of one. He knows all this. And his statement indicates he’ll willingly do that to other innocent people too if Mina turns.

As the vampire isn’t really who they were when alive, it’s not like it’ll be a comfort to each other if they both turn. For all we know, they might not have the same feelings for each other after they’re both vampires. Dracula lost all interest in Lucy once she turned. Jonathan would probably be Mina’s prime target (if she remembers; Lucy didn’t go after Arthur until he was in front of her, then she threw the child to the ground; and we knew how much he meant to her when she was alive). Harker didn’t promise to stake Mina either, so … he’d just let it happen.

Take out the word “vampire” and put in the word “zombie” or “ghoul”. It’ll amount to the same thing. She’ll bite him, he’ll turn … and then they’ll each hunt for more victims. Maybe together, maybe apart. It won’t be THEM anymore. His entries essentially say, “vampires can increase their numbers by going after their loved ones … fine. I’ll join them if it comes to that.” Become a “Devil of the Pit” like all of them. A “Thing,” as Seward called the vampire that had been Lucy.

So … to me, it sounds more like a suicide promise. He wouldn’t make sure she doesn’t hurt anyone else … he’d just follow suit. Because everything else in the world? It’s not even secondary; it’s inconsequential. Mina dies or turns, he’s not going to allow himself the chance to recover. Hell, if he sticks true to his vow, he might turn on the other guys to prevent them from staking her. And that would be against Mina’s dying wish.

Preferably, he wants the Count dead and out of their lives. Then … well, he’s not thinking about afterwards, because there might not be one.

Looking at his October 4 entry and comparing it to his behavior now, there’s clear deterioration in his psyche:

“For my own part, now that his horrible danger is not face to face with us, it seems almost impossible to believe in it. Even my own terrible experiences in Castle Dracula seem like a long-forgotten dream. Here in the crisp autumn air in the bright sunlight—

Alas! how can I disbelieve! In the midst of my thought my eye fell on the red scar on my poor darling’s white forehead. Whilst that lasts, there can be no disbelief. And afterwards the very memory of it will keep faith crystal clear. Mina and I fear to be idle, so we have been over all the diaries again and again. Somehow, although the reality seems greater each time, the pain and the fear seem less. There is something of a guiding purpose manifest throughout, which is comforting. Mina says they perhaps we are the instruments of ultimate good. It may be! I shall try to think as she does. We have never spoken to each other yet of the future….”

Since then, the very next day in fact, Mina made Jonathan promise to keep her ignorant of the plans to take out the Count.

“‘I promise!’ and as I said it, I felt that from that instant a door had been shut between us.”

Then a few days later, she asked for the assurance that she be taken down should she become a danger to anyone. Harker couldn’t promise that. But he did consent to read her the burial service. And if that fucked up Jack as we heard on the phonograph, what must that have been like for him? But even though she’s not technically dead, they’re keeping distance between them, so … he’s not doing well. His entries after the burial service have some cynical humor in them. Jack said today that Harker’s hands were like ice while they’re all just waiting for news, and he’s sharpening his blade “which he now always carries with him.”

None of these are good signs. The only future he’s thinking of at this point is the Count’s destruction, so that’s what’s defining him now.

Count Dracula may be a ways away, but he’s caused a psychic drain to happen to Harker. Again. And this time, Mina can’t help bring him back to health. He can’t open up to her, and she can’t get herself involved. They can’t balance each other or work together like they’re used to. All they can do … is just see each other. And hurt. And Jonathan’s best outlet right now is sharpening that damn knife.

#jonathan harker #mina harker #count dracula #lucy westenra #vampires #dracula #dracula daily

[underacalicosky]

20 Question Fic Writer Tag

Yayyy! Thanks for tagging me @grapenehifics 😁 And thanks to @ineffable-snowman for tagging me too! ❤️

How many works do you have on ao3?

I only have six Obikin fics on AO3, which isn’t a lot, but I’m hoping to write more! I’ve posted fics for a different fandom that I’m no longer active in, but that was a lifetime ago and I don’t monitor those fics anymore.

2.) What's your ao3 word count? 

AO3 says 107,086. I know that’s not a lot compared to some folks, but it’s more than I thought I’d get to when I started writing again a few months ago.

3.) What fandoms do you write for? 

Right now, only Prequels/Clone Wars Star Wars, and only Obikin because they’ve taken over my brain. And mainly modern AUs, but I have couple ideas that are in the Star Wars universe.

4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?

Cruel Summer (Intern AU) - 175

Edge of Greatness (Figure skating AU) - 132

The Next Model (Top Model AU) - 125

Heartbreak Prince (Same age HS AU) - 70

In Good Hands (Hairstylist AU) - 69

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, I always respond to comments! I try to respond within a few days. But yes, I love comments. I’m grateful that someone would take the time to not only read my fics, but to also leave a note or an emoji or wall of text 😭 so I try to show my appreciation by responding. Sometimes I’ll get a comment that’s really touching and I’ll reread it when I’m having a bad day. I love when I get into little side convos or hearing about headcanons in the comments!

6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I’m incapable of writing anything but a happy ending for Obikin. I want so badly for them to find peace and joy together, whether that’s through lots of cuddles and sex or a platonic life-long friendship.

7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All of them? 😁 I like to end my fics in a way where they’re at a good place, and afterward they run off and have more adventures and I might not know exactly what they’re up to, but I know they’re happy.

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

Not since I’ve written for the SW and Obikin fandom. Everyone here has been wonderful and encouraging and kind of feral in the most amazing way. I can’t tell you how much I love love love the positive vibes.

It wasn’t always like that in my previous fandom and I eventually left. Although, it wasn’t really hate. I started getting comments about how I wasn’t incorporating certain extreme kinks (which I didn’t know how to write), sort of suggesting that what I wrote wasn’t interesting. And there were plenty of writers who did write those kinks so it was a little baffling. I’m a firm believer that everyone should be able to read or write whatever they like without judgment or shame, but it got to the point where my confidence took a huge hit and I wasn’t having fun anymore.

9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I do write smut! Soft, fluffy, vanilla smut where they look at each other with hearts in their eyes. If my smut were a cake, it would be funfetti.

10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

No, but I like putting them modern AUs so maybe the Top Model fic is kind of a crossover?

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I didn’t realize this was a thing. How do I know if a fic has been stolen?

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

A couple years after I left my previous fandom, someone reached out and asked if they could translate one of my fics into a different language. It was really heartwarming and humbling to hear that something I wrote resonated with someone enough to make them want to translate it and share it. I said yes, but I’m not sure I ever got the link to the translated version.

13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

I co-wrote a big bang with another author for my previous fandom. It was a lot of fun and someone made a playlist to go with our fic. We had similar writing styles, to the point that our betas got confused over who wrote which chapters.

14.) What's your all time favorite ship?

Probably Obikin. Their dynamic is so intriguing to me. There’s endless possibilities. Plus, the authors in this fandom are so freaking talented and creative and that fuels my love for them.

15.) What's a WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I don’t have too many WIP at the moment. I only have two that have actual words, the rest are ideas that haven’t solidified yet. But I plan to finish the ones I’ve started writing.

16.) What are your writing strengths?

I’m terrible at self-assessments. I like to think that I can create a feeling of longing or pining. I love a slow burn, especially a friends to lovers type relationship, and that’s where I like to live with the things I write. There’s that phase where they’re both too afraid to tell the other how they feel. But they stare longingly and wonder if the other’s thinking of them too. And maybe there’s miscommunication or an ill-conceived reason for why they can’t be together that leads to some mild angst before they confess their love and fuck all gentle and sweet.

17.) What are your writing weaknesses?

Writing anything that has a complex plot or interwoven side plots. I’m very linear and simplistic. I’m always so impressed when I read something and the plot has been intricately planned and the little details tie together in the end. These are truly talented writers. Like, you should be publishing novels and getting paid. If I had more time and brain space, I’d love to try planning something more complex someday.

18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I’m not against it, but I can barely post anything without typos in English so I wouldn’t trust myself to include dialogue in another language.

19.) First fandom you wrote for?

X-files, Mulder/Scully. I didn’t post it to gossamer. I just had it on my computer and was too scared to show it to anyone.

20.) Favorite fic you've ever written?

This is tough, and it’s going to be a long and rambly answer.

Definitely the fics I’ve written for Obikin are my favorites. And if I had to pick one of them, it would probably be Edge of Greatness, only because it was the first thing I posted to AO3 in about 12 years.

I started writing fics again a few months ago as a way to do something for myself because most of my life revolves around taking care of my family. I had the idea in my head for about a month before I finally dusted off my old 2008 Macbook and wrote the whole thing in about three weeks. It was such a freeing feeling to be writing again, but I still had that criticism in my head. At that time, I wasn’t sure I wanted to share it once I finished it, but I also was trying to challenge myself.

I took baby steps. I got a new AO3 account and sat on it for a week before I began uploading the first few chapters. It was exciting and terrifying at the same time. My hands were shaking when I posted the first four chapters knowing that they would be out there in the world. I was convinced that no one would read them and I was okay with that because the goal I set for myself was to post and not care what other people thought. But the next morning I saw that I had kudos and comments and had a nice little cry. Some people, like @grapenehifics left comments in every chapter and I can’t put into words what that meant to me. So I’m not sure that it’s my best fic, but it holds special meaning to me and I’ll always love it for that reason.

I’m tagging anyone who writes fics and wants to share! I love reading these types of responses! ❤️

#thanks for the tag!

[ariadnes-red-thread]

Congratulations on the 150 🥳 you deserve it! "Bad Habits" lives rent free in my head (Fives 😮‍💨) and I recently reread "In His Sights" (now that I'm back in my Crosshair era) and the feelings are just 🤌.

Can we get either “I will never get enough of you.” for Fives or “You can do better than that.” for Crosshair and afab reader?

Thank you, can't wait to read everything you come up with!!

Hiiii Zwei! Thank you so much for celebrating with me! You're so sweet, I'm so glad my writing resonated with you. That has honestly been the wildest part of being on here - not only are other people reading and enjoying my writing, but so many of you are badass writers like yourself, and I'm just "...you like MY writing?" 🥺

I decided to write the Fives prompt, but TBH, I actually started the Crosshair prompt, too, because I LOVE the line you chose for him. I need more time to sit with that idea, though, and you've already been so patient. So thank you for celebrating with me. Here's a little Fives spiciness, and maybe keep your eye out for Crosshair down the line!

Pairing: Fives x F!Reader

Warnings/Tags: NSFT *Minors DNI*, Established relationship, Teasing, Fingering, Oral (female receiving), Public play, Explicit consent

Word Count: 1.2k

One of the best things about dating Fives, aside from everything about him, was how you instantly gained a whole gang of brothers who loved you nearly as much as he did when they saw you were good for him and that he was serious about you.

Fives, however, hated it, or so he liked to say. The weighest, most dramatic sighs would leave his lips when you and Kix would tag team to roast him, or when the punchline of yours and Jesse’s elaborate pranks would finally land. Still, he would always hug you a little harder and smile a little wider afterward.

He also never hesitated to give it back to you, like he was right now. As retribution for you and Kix dragging his choice of candles during his last “secret” spa night, he had just revealed to his brothers that your sense of direction was so bad that you had once gotten lost in your own apartment building six years after moving in.

“I’ve had about enough of your nonsense.” You wagged your finger at Fives, in between bouts of bellyaching laughter.

He pretended to snap at it. You jerked your hand back to your core, clutching it to your heart in mock offense. Fives let out a full laugh as his arm snaked around your shoulder, and he pulled you into his chest. You leaned against the broad frame of your handsome boyfriend as you turned back to face his brothers. Jesse, Kix, and Tup watched you both with grins on their faces.

“Now they’re just getting gross.” Jesse shook his head as he elbowed Tup.  

“Jealousy is a bad look, Jesse.” Fives snorted.

“Yeah, yeah,” Jesse waved him off before he stood and stretched. He cast his eyes out over the rest of the club. “Only thing I’m jealous of is that full drink in front of you. Tup, Kix, let’s get another round and try our luck on the dance floor.”

Kix smirked as he rose to his feet. You watched as his eyes sifted through the crowd until they found the cute woman you'd noticed Kix trade glances with all night. She felt his look right away, her eyes lifting from the friend she was talking to and meeting his, bringing a shy smile to her pretty face and a flush to her cheeks. She quickly glanced back down at her drink before tilting her look back up again and watching Kix through hooded eyes. Kix’s cool smile never flickered. He turned back to your table with the same cool, confident smirk.

“Someday, you’ll learn, Jess.” Kix patted his brother on the shoulder. “Luck’s got nothing to do with it.”

Kix began an unhurried walk toward the woman. Jesse frowned as he followed his brother’s look. Then, he cursed under his breath as he moved to trail behind Kix. 

Tup chuckled to himself as he watched them go. 

“You can hang out, Tup.” You smiled at the remaining clone, “Promise we’re not that gross.”

“Someone’s got to keep an eye on Jesse.” He shrugged as he reached up for his hair tie. “Besides, he doesn’t remember, but it’s his turn to be wingman tonight. He owes me one.”

Tup winked at you and Fives as his dark curls fell over his shoulders. Then, with a quiet swagger, he followed his brothers’ path to the bar.

“Go easy on ‘em, you rancor.” Fives called out. Then he turned to you with shining eyes. "Just the two of us now."

He dug his finger into the flesh just above your knee. Slowly and without releasing pressure, he dragged his calloused fingertips up the inside of your leg until he found the most inner crease of your thigh.

“What are you up to?” You flashed a cheeky smile at your boyfriend, despite the stirring feeling that suddenly appeared in the pit of your stomach.

“Oh, you know," Fives' eyes flashed darkly at you. Beneath the table, his touch crept underneath your panties to find your already pooling entrance. "Nonsense."

It wasn't the first time you'd played in public, but this was certainly the most exposed you'd ever been. Your eyes scanned the crowd, but no one was looking into your dark corner booth. Their attention was on their own affairs.

Fives waited until you turned back to him, his eyes locking on yours. You knew what he was waiting for.

“Don't stop." You finally spoke, the words more choked than you'd expected them to be.

Two broad fingers slowly breached you, the slow friction making you dizzy with the sudden pleasure. Your head fell to his neck as he began to thrust, pulling heavy breath from you with every motion. You began to grind into his palm, unconsciously searching for more friction.

Then his hand disappeared from underneath your panties. When you looked back up at him, his fingertips had found their way up his grinning lips. He popped his fingers between them, winking at you as he cleaned them of your juices. He pulled it from his mouth with a pop before he hungrily leaned in to capture you in a furious kiss. You could taste yourself on his tongue, mixed with the headyness of his kiss, and the liquor from your drinks. The slick between your legs grew. 

Finally, he broke the kiss, and as he pulled away, he lifted his arm from your shoulder. With a sideways smile and a surprising amount of stealth for still wearing the lower half of his armor, Fives dropped to the floor and disappeared underneath the tablecloth. You quickly felt his hot breath on your knees.  

“But I thought you’d had enough of my nonsense?” Fives' voice was cheeky and raised just enough so you could hear him above the din. He spread your legs apart, his eagerness clear in his speed and strength.

You started to say something when a finger slid back inside of you, stopping the words on your lips. Instead, you let out a small whine. You quickly scanned the crowd again. Still, no one was paying attention to your dark corner.

Fives pressed a kiss to the inside of your knee and smiled against your skin, bringing your attention back where it belonged. He slowly kissed a soft line up your thigh, tracing the path his fingers had taken earlier. At the same time, he began to drag his finger in and out of you, hooking it as he moved, alternating between spreading you open and reaching your sensitive spongey spot. Then, his teeth nipped your inner thigh as his head reached your center. He pulled your panties to the side with his free hand. You held your breath. The neon lights flashed around you, adding to the intoxicating feeling of the moment. On the dancefloor, the music began to crescendo. A second finger breached you. Then, his broad tongue found your clit. You had to bite your lip to stifle a moan. Your hand fell and found purchase in his hair. The pressure spurred him on as he began to dance over your sensitive nub, sending wave after wave to your core.

“I will never get enough of you.” You let out a breathy sigh as your head fell back into the cushion of the booth. Bliss followed soon after.

#fives x reader #fives x you #arc trooper fives #tcw fives #tcw fives smut #fives x you smut #tcw #the clone wars #fives #star wars #clone wars #the clone wars smut #nsft #aria's 150 followers celebration #ariadnesredthread 150 follower celebration

[teamfreewill56-blog]

Hi! I I love your blog and I’ve scoured it like crazy for Rengoku family content! but there’s one other thing I love about it and it’s how much you hate Kagaya, I’m not sure if this is something you may have talked about before but I recently reread the Rengoku one shot, it’s Kyo’s first mission but he has been sent to fight a demon that had already killed NINE SLAYERS - what is Kagaya doing?

And I have a terrible suspicion why, Giyuu is one year older than Kyojuro, we know everyone survived Giyuu’s final selection except Sabito, I can’t help but feel there may have been an excess of not very strong (even for lower rank standards) kids in the corp at the time and Kagaya just wanted rid of them, and he was testing if Kyojuro was any good due to his family name

Much love

- 🫧🫧

Hello anon! Thank you for asking in and I'm so glad that you love my blog that means the world to me! I do hate him a ton lolol. I haven't talked about his leadership decisions in Kyojuro's one-shot yet, I try to be careful and not overshare my hatred of characters, especially in analysis because it's a dangerous place for me but I'm fine with discussing it in asks as long as it doesn't become too long I hope you will understand.

Kagaya doesn't know what he's doing, and honestly, he's really not doing anything. He can't physically fight? Ok fine, but he also doesn't have any leadership skills and Kyojuro's one-shot is another great example because as you point out: he sends Kyojuro---who's fresh out of Final Selection---after a demon who's killed at least nine slayers.

I can't even go into all the issues because there are so many of them, but one of the most important ones is Kagaya and his family created this problem themselves and there's not really anyone else to blame. You can't train kids for a couple years--isolated--then throw them into a mountainside full of starving demons and only a select few can use full-style breathing styles and then expect them to survive there for a week or really any interaction they have with a demon afterward.

This "organization" is anything but organized. I mean my hell ya'll saw how many people went into Tanjiro's final selection, and only FOUR came out! There were AT LEAST twenty people there when Tanjiro arrived, maybe if you and your stupid family got rid of Final Selection and created teams under the Hashira and didn't just throw them straight into the demons' mouths maybe they'd be alive and you'd have enough people to wipe out demons!

I can almost guarantee you that the slayers killed by that flute demon were probably very low on the ranking list if not a first level like Kyojuro was.

It's shown at the end of the series that when Slayers work together even if they don't have breathing techniques they can make a huge impact, so why are they never trained together besides our main trio? Why are they not organizing them so that they make a stronger force together? It was made so painfully clear, very quickly that Tanjiro and Inosuke survived Spider Father's attack because they worked together. If they hadn't they definitely would have died. And all those Slayers the Spider Family slaughtered probably died because they couldn't figure out how to work together and weren't used to trying to.

In regards to Kyojuro's one-shot, Kagaya most likely sent him BECAUSE Kyojuro is a Rengoku, they do have a legacy and so Kagaya most likely just assumed Kyojuro would be able to be successful, but even then Kyojuro had to injure himself to win and not in a small way. He could have been completely deaf after that and just got very lucky.

I'm not sure if I agree that he sent them all just to get rid of them, I believe it is more that he doesn't know shit about what it takes to kill a demon or work as a team so he may have just thought throwing a ton of numbers at Flute Demon would be enough. And then it wasn't so he decided to try the Rengoku kid who had very little chance of failing.

Part of the reason I don't quite agree is because that kind of behavior is not a one-and-done-thing, if that is how he gets rid of "useless" slayers then there would be other instances of him doing similar methods and the only other time we see something like that happen is the Spider Family Arc. To me it's just he's so tactless that the only thing he could come up with is "oh one or two slayers wasn't enough, maybe if I add more it will fix the problem!" Which obviously it didn't, because things like this require more brain cells than Kagaya possesses, like I'm amazed this guy made it to twenty-three.

Thanks for dropping in!

-Much love

Also guys I'm finally back, for as long as my...issues will permit anyway. Thanks to everyone who is new to my blog, for all the favorites and the reblogs and the asks.

#kyojuro rengoku #flame pillar #rengoku kyōjurō #set your heart ablaze #demon slayer #demon slayer mugen train #rengoku kyojuro #rengoku shinjuro #hate kagaya #dont like it too bad #terrible person #terrible leader #just as bad as muzan if not worse #friggin murderer #flame hashira #he's technically a child murderer too so that makes him double awful

[sitp-recs]

Liv!! For fic recs: 👀 (for snarry if you have one!) (you know I had to ask about snarry!! 😂) but also 👀 in general, too!

Hello Danni my love!!! Look at you sneakily promoting the Snarry agenda, love it 😏

👀 a fic that you love a normal amount:

Snarry - I’ll never be normal about mia_ugly’s Rapture, this fic left such a big impression on me and I’m not even into the time travel trope when it comes to this ship (gimme the age gap damn it!!!!). But ugh the emotional rollercoaster! Their chemistry! The inevitable heartbreak! I’ve read this bracing myself for the train wreck and I revisit it every now and then, choked up on my feels and still feeling completely unprepared despite knowing exactly what happens.

Drarry - I feel like no matter the topic we’re discussing, @tackytigerfic and I always find a way to include screams and whining about Far From the Tree’s unique all-encompassing and devastating beauty, and the multiple ways in which this fic fucked us up for everything that came afterwards. So I think it’s safe to say we’re both very normal about it, oh yes we are 🤡

Rare pair - this post wouldn’t be complete without mentioning my beloved Euphoria by birdsofshore (Albus/Scorpius, Albus/Draco). Everyone and their dog know just how much I obsess over this fic (including birds, thanks to @lqtraintracks 🤣), it’s hands down the PWP I’ve reread the most over the past few years and I’m making it my life mission to introduce it to as many people as I can, this will be my legacy 😔✊🏻

#ask game #fics I’m normal about #so normal!!!!! crying screaming throwing up kinds of normal #Drarry #Snarry #rare pairs

[aritamargarita]

ATTITUDE || 018

hey guys. so i decided to upload the regular installment instead, it would make more sense chronologically (when do i ever follow timeline though lmfao) since there’s one match in the Christmas episode that’s really important and it ain’t the eggnog match LMAOO

ik after last chapter being a complete mess we need a break. reader said she'll make lita scream but now they're chillin getting snacks smh... its like..."cant stand her fake ass!!" 10 minutes later: ME AND THE BESTIEEE

nellieee & rated: sweethearts readers. this one is for you..the girls that get it GET IT

to all my fellow jeff fans, this is a love letter from me to you. i hope you enjoy, i felt kinda eeerrrhhh this chapter but only cause i had to keep rereading it lol

THE SHOW’S OVER! You felt really, really hungry. Not for actual food, you wanted some junk food. It’s a candy extravanganza.

You took the liberty to ride with Lita, with you two leaving as early as possible in order to stock up on snacks. The both of you had that segment together so it was pretty easy for the both of you to meet up afterward.

She mentioned Matt left his camcorder in the car, so you picked it up and started to record. He may be pretty iffy on you, but you figured you may as well leave a gift for him.

Just because you can.

“Hello world!” After making extra sure that it was actually recording, you turn the camera towards yourself. “And hello Matt’s camera. I’m sorry for taking most of your film!” You then turn the camera towards Lita, zooming in slightly. “Your little girlfriend is driving.”

For a split second, Lita takes her eyes off the road and swats at you.

“Woah, woah, woah, focus on the road!” You complain. For someone who was so insistent on driving, she sure enjoyed trying to be a passenger. She’s been messing with you for this whoooleee ride. More than likely it was because of your Mapquest directions….

“We’re gonna stop for some snacks. Don’t Canadians have chocolate smarties??” You question.

“Pretty sure they do.” Lita nodded. “Trish mentioned it before.”

Oh shit! SHE IS CANADIAN!! You forgot! Now that you think about it, most of your coworkers were Canadian too.

The hotel wasn’t that far, but the detour you two were taking probably was going to make it a bit longer than that. Not that bad, you two were just getting back a little later tonight.

“I need my fix of candy,” You say, turning the camera over to the 7/11 sign that was now coming into view. “Something that’ll make my teeth fall out.”

“Then you can put them under your pillow for the tooth fairy.” Lita suggests. “I’m sure you’ll get a lot of money for it.”

“Yeah, right. If the tooth fairy was even real.”

There’s silence for a moment before Lita stops the car just as she’s about to park. “…The tooth fairy isn’t real?”

You look at her slowly. Did she really ask that? “No. No, the tooth fairy isn’t real.”

“Damn. I’ve been lied to my entire life.” She says, running a hand through her hair. She looks absolutely destroyed by this new information.

You’re just surprised she even thought the tooth fairy was real. “No one told you this entire time? Ma’am…y…”

“Listen, I need some time away to think about this.” Lita says dramatically. What, were you going to say that Santa Claus wasn’t real either?! You do believe in Santa, so she’s safe for now. “Grab what you want. I’ve gotta get gas, I’ll be in to fill my arms with as many snacks A-S-A-P.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” You wave your hand at her. “…Oh, shit, there’s a Subway here too. Is that Tim Horton’s? I haven’t had that in a while. Let’s grab—“

Lita shakes her head. “Nope. I’m in charge tonight, we’re going to IHOP. No ifs, ands, or buts. I printed out the directions! Look in the glove compartment.”

You pop it open and pull out folded paper. You look at her and she motions her hand towards it, making you unwrap it into it’s true form. A huge ass map with directions printed clear on the side.

Wow. She was serious.

“…Let me get out of here.” You open the door and get out of the car, tossing the map back into your seat.

Mission 7/11 was in full effect. Once you enter the convenience store, you look around. It was pretty empty. Maybe one or two cars were around. It’s only about 10 pm, so you wonder where everyone’s ran off to.

The bright lights of the store make you blink a few times. Damn, they turned the brightness UP. Your eyes had gotten used to the dark car. “Evening.” You greet the cashier at the counter.

He looks up from the magazine he was reading for a second. “Evening.” But then he does a double take. He couldn’t believe it. You’re [Name] from the WWF! “Holy shit—hey, excuse me?”

You’re about to walk into one of aisles, but you stop, turning over to the cashier. “Yeah?”

“Are you…” He pauses for a moment. “You’re [Name], right?? The wrestler.”

“I do!” You confirm with a nod. “You know me?”

“You’re literally my favorite wrestler.” He says. “I know there was a show tonight, my boyfriend’s been paging me like crazy! I got him to tape it for me since I’m working, but I don’t want him to spoil it.”

“You won’t get any outta me either.” You reassure with a smile. Your eyes look down to his name tag curiously. Jean-Pierre, huh?

“Well, wait….is Lita in it?” He asks, quickly caving in. It be like that sometimes. “I’ve gotta know. She’s my favorite too.”

Man, wouldn’t he be surprised. “Oh, she’s in it alright…...”

“What does that mean?! No, don’t tell me!” He shakes his head, looking away from you.

You’ve always enjoyed meeting fans. People who appreciate what you do in the ring was always pleasure.

…It gives you a idea, actually. You hold out a finger to him. “One second.” You hate to be one of those customers, but you had to! You wanted to take a picture with him. But he wouldn’t know until you check out, that is. It’s the least you could do!

Especially since Lita’s traveling with you. It just works, man. Speaking of that lady, where the hell did she go?? Gas does not take that long to pump. She’s crucial in this plan. You go back into the aisles, not only searching for cameras, but for Lita as well.

The place isn’t huge, per say, but it had a lot of items. There’s giftcards, magazines (is that a Raw magazine?), just about anything you could think of. It’s a convenience store, after all…

You totally got distracted for a minute looking at the Stacker 2 bottle. You really hope they give you a commercial for that, even if you don’t really use fat burners.

Finally finding a small aisle for miscellaneous items, you lean down to look at your options.

There’s only two FujiFilm cameras left on the shelf. You’re feeling greedy, so you just take both of them. Heading back up to the front, you place them on the counter. “Just these:”

He doesn’t exactly catch on quite yet, so he rings you out without a second thought. “Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

You weren’t exactly ready for the question he had next though.

“Jeff Hardy or Raven?”

It immediately makes you laugh. Whether it was out of nervousness or just the fact you found it hilarious, you truly didn’t know. “Can’t tell you. Who do you like with me better?”

“Gotta say…” He thinks about it for a moment after bagging your items. “Jeff Hardy. You two are really cute together.”

Huh….interesting. People really liked you and Jeff together, you couldn’t see it, but hey, an opinion is an opinion.

Lita finally comes in, waving at the cashier and shooting you finger guns. “Sorry. The pump wouldn’t take my card. I got it this time though.”

Somehow, the surprise was a bit ruined in your eyes. Jean-Pierre looked like his eyes would pop out of their sockets. Both of his favorite wrestlers were here!! He rubs his eyes, trying to wake up from this dream.

Holy shit, this is reality! He doesn’t even know what to say at first, completely starstruck. You take the opportunity to speak up for him, waving one of the cameras.

“…Want a picture?”

He sure as hell did, why was that even a question? The fact you two came to this location is amazing. It’s small, so it’s fairly easy to miss. This has gotta be the best shift he’s ever had.

“Wait, hold on, let me get snacks first.” Lita says, rushing into one of the aisles. You playfully roll your eyes and unbox the camera.

“We don’t need her! Let’s take a picture with just us two.”

You, Lita, and the young man at the register were chatting up a storm for quite a bit after checking out and taking pictures. You all talked about your favorite matches in history and things you felt inspired by.

All good things have to come to an end unfortunately. You both wave to him goodbye, letting him keep one of the cameras that had your photos on it. There’s twenty seven exposures in total, so he could use the rest however he pleases.

You’ll have to come again sometime, maybe when Raw or Smackdown is in town. Very convenient place too, you’d get Subway, but Lita forced you to go to IHOP. It’s like she has a gun to your head.

You’re behind the wheel, meanwhile Lita’s holding up the directions and reading out the directions to you. Every so often, she’d look out the window to make sure you were going the right direction.

No more mistakes. Tonight, Lita’s about to enjoy her time at the International House of Pancakes. She’s been waiting for this all week! “Okay, [Name], make a left here…” She’d guide you.

You could tell she’s excited. You don’t get why she’s so excited. You’re ordering a Belgian Waffle to spite her. To spite her and give an ode to RVD saying it’s the capital of Brussels. Bless him.

In little to no time, you pull up to the restaurant. Lita says it’s all thanks to her directions, but you pay her no mind.

You two get out of the car and head to the doors. You open one up and immediately try closing it quickly behind you, making Lita pull on the handle to try and open it again.

“Oh, you fucking—“ She curses, lightly hitting you in the back as soon as she gets in. You laugh as you walk towards the front counter.

Before you can ask for a table, Lita shakes her head and grabs your hand. “No need. I’ve already called it in.”

Huh. She was serious about this pancake situation. She must’ve called it in while she was outside or something. You go along with it, letting her drag you to one of the tables nearby a window.

…Wait, didn’t a hostess have to sit you down? You’re just about to question her when your eyes fall on two familiar people sitting in a booth.

It’s Matt…..and…..Jeff. Both of them were there. Matt didn’t seem too surprised, but Jeff on the other hand seemed shocked you were even here.

Lita lets go of your hand. “Wow! What a coincidence,” She says, putting her hands on her hips. “I had no clue you guys would be here tonight…”

You slowly look at Lita. There are no words to describe how irritated you were. It’s no wonder she merrily skipped past the desk and any hostesses. Does she think you’re stupid?

You want to leave. Seeing Jeff was starting to make you sick to your stomach.

“Are ya’….gonna sit?” Jeff suddenly asks, scooting over. It’s obvious he wants you next to him.

“…I guess.” You have no choice, so you sit down right next to him as Lita sits next to Matt.

Across from you, the two of them spare glances to each other, almost like they were communicating telepathically or something.

“We have to use the bathroom.” Lita announced, jumping out of her seat. She reaches over and grabs Matt to bring him out.

He nods with her. “Yeah. We’ll be back.” The two leave you and Jeff alone, but unbeknownst to you two, they weren’t too far away..

You hate them. They’re doing this on purpose. This must’ve been premeditated. You’re going to kill Lita and then yourself. Damn it.

“If you’re wondering, I’m not mad at ya’ or anything.” He says, setting his hand on the table.

Unable to look him in the eye, you turn your attention toward his hand.

He painted his nails…cute.

“I’m mad at Raven,” He continues. “He doesn’t deserve you. I think he’s just using you. I know we had something, [Name]. Don’t tell me it was nothing when we kissed.”

The more he talks, the more guilty you’re starting to feel. You’re not entirely sure what to say, either. Your mouth starts to feel uncomfortably dry as you look down under the table. “Did you get any water? Phew.”

“….” He doesn’t say anything at first, instead pushing his glass of water towards you. “Didn’t drink out of it. It’s all yours.”

You happily open a straw lying on the table and drink some.

“It would’ve gone further if my neck wasn’t hurting.” He admits. “It’s risky, but I just wanted you all to myself on that table.”

You look around as you sip your water. Thank goodness his voice was pretty quiet. He sounded tired and you couldn’t blame him. You’re starting to feel a little worn down from the show today, too.

Without you staring at him, he doesn’t think you’re taking him seriously. “Look at me, [Name]..”

You don’t.

Even as you can see him expectantly staring at you from the corner of your eye, you just decide to stare straight ahead.

And Jeff has already had enough. He takes his hand and decides to pull your face towards him. You’re taken aback by it.

He too, seems surprised that he’s even done it. “I…sorry. I just want ya’ to look at me…”

You’re conflicted. You don’t know whether you want to slap him down or just kiss him. Even if the latter made you feel guilty.

“I would say you’re my muse, darling.” The pet name makes you flinch. “I’ve..painted you at least 3 times now.”

“Three times?” You repeat. “Three times….when can I see these paintings?”

Three times is crazy to you. You’re hoping he isn’t too crazy for you right now, this is just a horrible time.

“I don’t have it with me right now. Maybe next time I see you.”

Boo…..

Jeff feels like he’s making progress with you. He feels like the luckiest man in the world because you haven’t shoved him away yet.

He feels even luckier when you don’t reject his advance. He takes your hand into his own, the two of you quickly interlocking fingers with one another.

You still think this was wrong. However, your heart was telling you otherwise. The moment he squeezes your hand is when you feel like Jeff’s the one you want right now.

“WE’RE BACK!” Lita announces, a smile on her face. Matt trails behind her, nodding to the both of you. The two slide right back into their seats and the waitress comes over just in time.

Lita seems to eye you and Jeff holding hands on the table, a smirk playing on her lips. You remind yourself to strangle her when you get the chance, though that time may come after Vengeance.

Even the trip back to the hotel was calm. Jeff wanted you to go with him instead. Lita almost pushes you towards him, eager for you two to actually be alone. She knows her and Matt were having issues, but she definitely wants you two to sort shit out.

She can tell that Jeff really likes you. He always has, just didn’t know how to go about it.

Hand in hand, you two make your way upstairs. “Are you scared for your match?” You suddenly ask, swinging your hand.

“Nah.” He shakes his head. “It is what it is. If Matt wants a challenge, then so be it. I just wish he didn’t bring Lita into it.”

You make a noise, signifying that you agree. Poor Lita, she’s in the midst of their rivalry.

“Hold on, my room is right here.” You start to pull out your keycard. “Are you coming in or you just wanted to walk me?”

“I can come in if ya’ want.”

The answer is absolutely. You do want him to come in. “Feel free.” You unlock the door and the both of you walk in together.

And now that Jeff’s here, you’re not entirely sure what to do. It’s a hotel room, not your house, so you didn’t have a lot to entertain him with.

“Wanna sit?” It’s a tentative offer, but truly this situation was getting more and more awkward by the second.

“Yeah.” He takes a seat on the bed, watching you as you pace around for a minute. Eventually, you come over to sit next to him.

“…[Name].” He calls. Jeff turns over to you and grabs your shoulders. “…Who do you see me as?” He asks. “Do you see me as less than Raven?”

“No, it’s just—“ He interrupts you by pulling you into a kiss. It’s almost like he wanted you to start talking just so he could cut you off.

You exhale through your nose once he parts away. He tasted like syrup, hehe.

Jeff kisses you again, but this time changes direction and makes his way down towards your neck. It makes you laugh. “What’s funny?”

“Nothing.” You replied. You just can’t believe how you got in this situation. “Hold on, hold on,” you say.

“…I’m going to be honest, [Name]. You’re making me nervous.” He admits. “I feel like my legs are gonna give out if I stand up.”

You’re about to pass out yourself. “I’m not feeling any be—“

And then, the phone’s ringing. It just takes you out of the moment. You groan. No way you just got the ick from the phone. Problem is, neither of you want to stop the direction it’s heading.

You crawl over the bed towards the nightstand. Whoever’s calling sucks.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Nitro Girl.” Hunter greets, his voice as chipper as ever. “Been a while.”

Goddamn it. OUT OF ALL TIMES HE COULD GIVE YOU A CALL..

“This isn’t a good time.” You say, letting out a huff of air. “If it’s important, make it quick.”

“Didn’t know you were the type to rush things. Whatever you say. Listen, I’ll cut to the chase. That lingerie I gave you. I need you to use that and bring Jericho to a hotel room. I’m gonna ambush him.”

Because Jeff was still there, trying to catch his breath as much as you were, you do your best to keep things as vague as possible. “Are you seriously gonna do that?”

“Yeah. Everyone will go crazy over it. Just think of it as a hookup. You won’t have to try and seduce Jericho after this again. I’ll even let you hit him once.”

“I knew it wasn’t just some gift out of the blue. The fact you never explained was confusing.”

“Didn’t have time. Steph’s been hassling me all week. She’s really excited for me to come back. Honestly, I feel like I’m ready to go.”

“Right. Excited to…” You think for a second how to phrase it. “—see you again. Have a good night.”

“Wow, it’s almost like you REALLY don’t want to talk to me.”

You sigh. “It’s really not the best time.”

“Then I’ll call you tomorrow night. Goodnight.”

“Night.” You hang up the phone and turn to Jeff with an apologetic look on your face.

“Who’s that?” He asks, scooting back and laying down. You decide to join him, laying right next to him and staring up at the ceiling.

“Old friend of mine.” You lied. “…Wanna stay the night?”

Better luck next time…

ITS DONE PLEASE DONT KILL ME PLEAAAASESSD. VENGEANCE IS NEXT BUT I NEED TO FIX CERTAIN PARTS OF THE MATCH!!!! and other matches. because reader is coming to fuck with everyones match YEAH!

#writing reader and lita together is so fun #lita: bitch we swervin & we swervviiinnnnn #reader: OH MY GOD SOMEBODY NAMED TORRIE JUST SAID GIRL TRUST YOU WILL BE DEALT WITH…..🤨WTF DO THAT MEAN??? #kayfabe is so weird in this #ITS REAL TO ME DAMN IT #wwe attitude series #im gonna be honest fr #im a lita x reader supporter #lita imagine #lita x reader #jeff hardy x reader #jeff hardy imagine #matt hardy x reader #matt hardy imagine #my brain just kinda went with the flow as you can see #triple h x reader #triple h imagine #wwe x reader #wwe imagine #wwe various x reader #wwf x reader #wwf imagine #wwe imagines #wwf imagines

[tossawary]

I finished rereading SVSSS’s main story and I’m going to get to the extras again next. I forgot how funny this story is. I forgot just how sad this story can be as well (Tianlang-Jun and Su Xiyan, Tianlang-Jun and Zhuzhi-Lang, Yue Qingyuan and the Original Shen Qingqiu, Luo Binghe’s abandonment issues).

Update on the Daemon AU, “Sit With Your Soul”. (Summary: Still planning on continuing it with more and plottier arcs, but I want to do a reread and edit of the first arc beforehand now.) 

I think that I am going to have to do an edit of the first arc of my new Daemon AU, “Sit With Your Soul”. Not a complete overhaul of plot or anything, not changing anything to do with the structure or what happens in scenes, but I feel like I’ve gotten a much better handle on Shen Yuan’s narrative voice now, and so I want to tighten up my narrative style (the wording of certain things, mostly) to bring it more in line with SVSSS. I also want to tighten up a few world and character details, even if it’s an AU and I’m overall pleased with how I’m managed to keep a decent foundation in canon in most of my fanfiction even when I’m intentionally jumping off it.

I’m also going to have to go back and name some of the OCs and the daemons if I’m going to commit to writing a longer and plottier story. When I started writing the Daemon AU, I didn’t know how far I was going to go with it; it was mostly about Shen Yuan and Shen Jiu’s relationship. As I got really into it, by the time I posted, I was like, “Oh, I’m definitely writing more of this.” When I was mocking Airplane Bro in the story for not bothering to name daemons... I was kind of calling myself out for avoiding naming so many OCs. I wasn’t sure whether or not it was going to be worth establishing so many OCs...

(This is exactly what happened with “pride is not the word I’m looking for” and the An Ding disciples... They didn’t get names because 1) it felt right for Shang Qinghua, but 2) I didn’t know if they were going to matter that much...)

The edit shouldn’t take too long. I was going to need to reread the first arc anyway to write the Shen Jiu POV reflection on the first arc that I’ve been planning, so it slots neatly into my to-do list of writing projects. (Now that I’ve reread most of SVSSS, I feel like I’ll be able to write a proper commentary for “love to the ones I’ve never met” and better reflect on PINTWILF.) 

I’ll keep a copy of the original version of “Sit With Your Soul” around somewhere. And I’ll alert people to when I’m actually going to post the edited version, so they can download the original if they like, to compare and contrast. I’ll also try to keep a “patch notes log” for people to review afterwards.

Oh, side note: I recently edited all my stories on AO3 to adjust the spacing between paragraphs (thank you, Find & Replace functions). There are a few spacing issues here and there still, which I’m tackling as I notice them. So if you’re like, “Hm, this looks different,” then that’s probably why.

#tossawary updates #sit with your soul #pride is not the word #tossawary svsss

[userlando]

hii x I know it’s been a couple of days already but I’m still yet to talk about watch you watch me. and yes I need to talk about it, I just needed a while and we as a society cannot move on so quickly from this!

maybe it’s because I literally folded in public when those plane photos came out, because to now have a fic based on them by one of my faves.. it’s just beyond amazing. I thought I’d be rereading it as soon as I finished but I get too emotional (how does one get that emo over a smut, god knows)

I love the way you add those tiny little details to the story, (the boardgames, the banter afterwards sksj). somehow the fic never feels like smut. I mean, it DOES feel like smut (😵‍💫🥵) but your writing makes it seem like truly part of the bigger picture every goddamn time. like, you take some time to build up the characters so that when the smut happens it’s just always more powerful to me.

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again - this Lando of yours is McDreamy! 🧡 god I love him so much. how do you come up with so many versions of this silly little guy and it works so well!

can I also mention how those pictures you put before every fic undo me? you choose them so well that even looking at them sometimes makes me feel the whole vibe of the fic and idk I think that’s also a real skill and I wanted to show some appreciation for this Art™️

god this really turned into an essay while all could’ve been summed up with: I adore your writing, thank you for putting out this amazing stuff for us 🧡🌟 I know that whatever next month is throwing at you, you’re gonna be great. I’ll be here, looking like this every time you post

this is actually the cutest thing I’ve ever read and truly lifted my spirits so high that I’m afraid I’ll never come down 😭 thank you so so much, I wish I could’ve written in the part where he accidentally posted one of the more spicy pics along with his selfies but I honestly cba to flesh out that entire convo.

sometimes writing pwp is nice and you get straight to the point, but I feel like I need to write some details and little tidbits into my fics to hopefully make them more realistic in a way, if that makes sense? I’m just so so happy that it’s appreciated because I always fear that people wanna jump straight to the smut - not that anyone’s made me feel like that, I just have irrational fears. but then I get messages like these and it’s all just so worth it 🥹

thank you thank you thank you, you truly notice the little things and I’m so thankful that you appreciate them enough to let me know. I always LOVE seeing you in my mentions, you’re a gem and I love you for it!! and also extra brownie points for the hilariously adorable picture, I’ll save that and keep it because it’s just too funny 😭🤍🫶🏼

#zee’s asks 💌

[justforbooks]

The Stand – the original version of it, something I'll talk about later – was published in 1978. I read it 16 years after that. I can remember the time and place: on holiday in Turkey with my family. I can remember that the copy I had was already falling apart, because it was enormous, and the binding wasn't made to be opened, I don't think. The glue melted as I read the thing; page by page, it fell apart. While I knew I loved King before that holiday, afterwards I'd have followed him to hell and back. It's because of The Stand that I've read all his work, and that I embarked on this series; it's because of The Stand that I'm a writer at all. And because of all this, I don't really know where to start writing about it.

Maybe with Captain Trips. Prior to 1978, King had published three novels under his name that focused on ordinary people ruined or damaged by extraordinary (and inexplicably paranormal) situations. The Stand looked at those ordinary people – the readers of his book – and said: let's damage you all. Rather than the threat being ghosts or vampires, it was a sickness, nicknamed, in the novel, Captain Trips. The sickness was a flu that killed 99.4% of the world's population, and it's terrifying, because we all get the flu. Even as you read the novel, you feel a chill coming over you. (Trust me: I reread this partly on my morning commute, sitting next to somebody with a cough that sounded like death. It's still scary.) Because it's plausible, it affects people in a lasting way. When swine flu broke out in 2009, I lost track of the number of tweets referring to it as Captain Trips. When we're scared we joke; and we joke because of the bubonic plague, because of Spanish flu, and because it feels so wholly reasonable to imagine a virus decimating the world. Worse still? Captain Trips was made in a lab, just like those biological weapons we're all slightly terrified of. The bad guy in The Stand was made by us, and it killed us. That's hubris for you.

I call it the bad guy, but Captain Trips isn't the bad guy. Not really. That honour falls to Randall Flagg. I've mentioned him before but here's where he makes his grand entrance. He's a man of many names: The Walking Dude, The Ageless Stranger, He Who Walks Behind The Rows, The Man In Black, Walter O'Dim, The Dark Man. In The Stand, one character calls him The Antagonist, vague and present and inexplicable. He's bigger than the novel, than the world that's collapsed and torn itself apart; and he only appears when it's done, walking from nowhere, only hazily able to remember who he was before (but that he killed policemen, fought for the KKK, and helped to kidnap Patty Hearst).

Where King's previous antagonists were small fry (or protagonists flipped on their heads), Randall Flagg is never less than pure evil. He has a counterpart, as all evils should: Mother Abigail, 108 years old, who communes with God, and who is the frail good to Flagg's evil. Both have the ability to inspire those around them, but Flagg has an advantage: evil is inherently stronger. It's easier. He's able to gather an army from the weak-minded, the stragglers, finding the darkness that's in us all and using it. He brings out everything awful in those susceptible to him: in his lackey Lloyd, and Trashcan Man, and The Kid, and Harold.

Harold. Poor Harold Emery Lauder, the weakest of the weak. A boy only a couple of years older than I was when I read the book for the first time, and who – like me, as I was discovering – wanted nothing more than to be a writer. And he knew about the same things that I did: being in love with girls who didn't know he existed; wanting to be somebody that he was hopelessly ill-prepared to be; and (the bane of all teenagers) feeling singular, alone. Harold was the crux for me; he presented me with the question that makes the novel so powerful and affecting to so many people. What would I do? If I was suddenly completely alone, if I was given the ability to do anything I wanted with no consequences, would I retain my morality? Or would I, like Harold, naturally skew towards evil because of my baser – albeit human – desires? Do we all have that potential inside us?

As the novel progresses and the survivors of the flu are forced to pick sides – drawn through their dreams to the darkness or the light, to Randall Flagg or Mother Abigail – Harold shows his true colours. In the novel's early stages he is a confused, angry, horny teenager; through Flagg's influence, he loses himself. He becomes a killer, a cold-blooded mess of rage when Flagg persuades him (using sexy schoolteacher Nadine, and the promise of Harold finally getting laid) to detonate a bomb and kill his friends. After succeeding and running away, he ends his life alone, his own hands on the gun, the only time in the novel he's actually offered anything resembling control. I remember thinking how terribly sad this was, because when the book starts he's just a kid. That's easy to forget. Stu Redman feels sad for him as well, and if I most associated with Harold at times, Stu was who I wanted to become.

Why? He's noble. He's quiet and moral and even passionate, and he manages to help inspire the gang of good guys to carry on, despite Randall Flagg's dark temptations. He's the one whom Mother Abigail entrusts to go to Flagg and fight back. He's an authority figure, respected and clever, and he's willing to die for the good of the world and his friends. He doesn't: he breaks his leg, almost as if he's spared, and he watches Las Vegas explode at the novel's close; the threat eliminated, the world ready to rebuild itself. He is able to be the father to Frannie's child.

That's not an accident. Nothing in The Stand is an accident. As much as it's a novel about the battle between good and evil, it's also a novel about fate. These people – the American contingent of the 0.6% of the world's population who survived Captain Trips – manage to meet up in Las Vegas, called from all around by dreams. Did they choose to find each other, or was it chosen for them? Mother Abigail's dreams come courtesy of God; she is his prophet, and she assembles her own biblical-type followers. Pregnant Franny, whose child can assert the human race's survival; the forgiving and ailing Glen; deaf-mute Nick; mentally challenged Tom Cullen, who will save Stu Redman; Larry Underwood, who starts the novel dreaming of Flagg, and is filled with darkness, but somehow finds the light. All the cast are put upon and challenged.

I read once that The Stand was essentially the Book of Job, with the survivors in Job's place: tested by good and evil both; pushed and challenged to see how much they could endure, as if their suffering were a game. There's a little more epic fantasy here than in the Bible, maybe, and it ends not with a war, but with an accident; with the chaos of Trashcan Man finding a weapon, and with Flagg's showing off going to far. But I can still see it. Good wins by default, because evil cannot. Those were the rules in the Old Testament, and they're the rules now.

I've read this book five times in adulthood, by my reckoning, and more when I was a teenager. I know some people read books over and over, but I don't; I'm a once-round-then-shelve-it reader, unless a book really stands out to me. This is my most reread book. I can't think of one that has affected me so much. It scared me and excited me; but more than that, it was the first time I noticed the textures of a novel. The Stand is dense and rich. Every character is full and alive, and they're all in the book with a purpose. They cover every shade of human morality, and that astonished me: the deftness of King's writing in making no two feel alike, and making their deaths – because a lot of the cast die, heroes and villains both, something that almost feels inevitable from the outset – mean something. Everything in the book means something, and nothing is accidental. I can still read it and see the narrative threads, set up to be exploited, revealed or knocked down: and the hints in the subtle stylistic touches (Mother Abigail's side drawn into longer, more florid descriptions of their actions; Flagg's side blunter, more bullish, more exposed).

I don't think I can talk objectively, really.

The Stand is a masterpiece, and I don't use that word lightly. King says in the novel's introduction that he "wanted to write a fantasy epic like The Lord of the Rings, only with an American setting", and that's absolutely what he did.

Important to note, this: there are two versions of The Stand. One was published in 1978, and it's about 800 pages long, and it's set in the 1980s. Another was published in 1991, and it's about 1,200 pages long, and it's set in the 90s. The books are the same story, the same characters; content cut from the early version was put back and the book slightly remastered, as it were, for King's later, more-receptive-to-giant-novels audience. Whichever one you read it's the same book, but for the finality of a single scene at the end of the remaster: where Randall Flagg has survived the novel's endgame, reborn somewhere else entirely, new memories and a new identity, and with a new group of people to try and lead.

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at http://justforbooks.tumblr.com

#JUST FOR BOOKS #stephen king #the stand #book review

[lipzlipzlipz]

5 books and 5 fics

@waxwing-saint made me do it

I always have a hard time making lists, especially lists of favorites because there are far too many to remember, and I had to set a rule for myself to narrow it down. Pick things that stayed with me. That’s it. So, these are the ones that made me think or feel or put me in a weeklong introspective funk.

Books

Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Armfield. My most recently finished read. Both @sosh022 and @waxwing-saint recommended this to me and it’s been years since any book has hit me as hard as this one did. The love, the frustration, the inevitability, every page felt so real. Some days I managed a whopping 30 pages but most days it was 2-8. The words were just too good to let them fly by without holding onto them for a little while.

Just Kids by Patti Smith. I’ve been a fan of her music since I was a kid so when I picked up this memoir I was only familiar with that and her poetry. It’s a story of her youth and friendship with artist Robert Mapplethorpe, and her writing is so compelling that her reminiscences filled my head and heart as only a poet could. Highly recommend even if you don’t know her music.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. I bought this the year it was published and I would read it at least once a year for years afterwards. When the movie came out, I couldn’t see it, and I still haven’t seen it, even though I think this year might finally be when I do. The story is just too close to me.

There There by Tommy Orange. Stories about clashing identities, of being a part of two worlds and also neither, are always very interesting to me. And this one was just so visceral in its anger and sadness, it swallowed me up.

Nightshift by Kiare Ladner. Ok I’m cheating a bit here since I haven’t finished it yet, and I don’t normally recommend books I haven’t finished, but this book makes me squirm and I need others to squirm with me. Have you ever met someone and became instantly obsessed with being their friend (and maybe more) and when you did, you got caught up with that feeling that you’re finally being true to yourself but maybe also molding yourself into someone you’re not? That’s this book. And it’s a drama so the discomfort and stakes feel higher. I have no idea how it’s going to end, but I’m probably going to do more squirming and cringing in self-recognition along the way.

Fics

i’ll take the desert, you take the coast by @searidings. Supercorp. I absolutely adore this fic, I love all of searidings’ fics, but this one blew me away when it was first posted and it still does. I love a Lena that holds a post-reveal grudge. I love that she holds onto it for so long. It’s beautiful and sad and angry and I reread it every few months.

Vertigo by Yoshiyuki_Ly. Fleurmione. This fic inspires strong feelings in people, and given the ending, I can understand why. Fleur is a Slytherin and she’s got major childhood trauma and her characterization is colder and harder than we’ve ever seen her. But the hesitant romance that builds with Hermione is so sweet and real, it’s one of my favorites. There’s also a sequel on ffn if you’re interested.

Falling Towards Something (It Might Just Be You) by @thewaywedo33. Fleurmione. Another take on a darker/grey Fleur. A bit angsty, character driven, and you’ll have so many questions about what’s going on in the wider world, but all that really matters is that this Fleur can’t stay away from Hermione even though they’re not really on the same side, and I love their gradual acceptance of it, until it all comes to a head and choices have to be made.

Personal Jesus by @perfectly--random. Fleurmione. A non-magical AU that hits you in the gut and I won’t say anymore because it’s just that good. Wonderful angst.

The Arctic Station by @foragewrites. Supercorp. One of my favorite Supercorp premises is post-reveal angst and eventual reconciliation, and this fic does it so well, all couched in a stranded/survival story. It’s amazing.

~~~

Because I limited myself to completed fics, I left out some really great ones. Danse Avec la Vie (fleurmione) by Sosh_022/@sosh022, Once In A Lifetime (Sansaery) by MsCFH/ @hell-much and We court our own Captivity / than Thrones more great and innocent; (Sansaery) by heart_nouveau. Danse and Once In A Lifetime are in progress so my list will probably change when they finish.

Whew that was tough. If you’re reading this, go on and give it a try. One person I’ll call out is @sleepingontheway. 😊

#books and fics #reading