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mithriel-of-mithlond · 13 days

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I don't know anyone irl who went through physical and and/or sexual abuse and I don't know if the way Nora wrote Jean and others is 100% accurate but I feel like I can still learn from it, how to treat a traumatised person

#I think the trojans are doing great #Of course they are making mistakes #But it's not intentional #And they are wiling to learn #And the way Jean is reacting to everything is killing me #How he expects the worst but it doesn't come #I can't wait for him to realise that people can be actually nice #I'm a mess help #the sunshine court #tsc #jean moreau #jeremy knox #aftg #nora sakavic

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perfectlyvalid49 · 2 months

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On being Jewish, and traumatized (It’s been 5 months and I want to talk):

Judaism is a joyous religion. So much of our daily practice is to focus us on the things that are good. I know that there’s a joke that all our holidays can be summed up as “they tried to kill us. We survived – let’s eat!”, and you might think that holidays focused on attempts at killing us might be somber, but they’re really not. Most are celebrated in the sense of, “we’re still here, let’s have a party!” When I think about practicing Judaism, the things I think about make me happy.

But I think a lot of non-Jews don’t necessarily see Judaism the same way. I think in part it’s because we do like to kvetch, but I think a lot of it is because from the outside it’s harder to see the joy, and very easy to see the long history of suffering that has been enacted on the Jewish people. From the inside, it’s very much, “we’re still here, let’s party” and from the outside it’s, “how many times have they tried to kill you? Why are you celebrating? They tried to KILL YOU!”

And I want to start with that because a lot of the rest of this is going to be negative. And I don’t want people to read it and wonder why I still want to be Jewish. I want to be Jewish because it makes me happy. My problem isn’t with being Jewish, it’s with how Jews are treated.

What I really wanted to write about is being Jewish and the trauma that’s involved with that right now.

First, I want to talk about Israeli Jews. I can’t say much here because I’m not Israeli, nor do I have any close friends or family that are Israeli. But if I’m going to be talking about the trauma Jews are experiencing right now, I can’t not mention the fact that Israeli Jews (and Israelis that aren’t Jewish as well, but that’s not my focus here) are dealing with massive amounts of it right now. It’s a tiny country – virtually everyone has a friend or family member that was killed or kidnapped, or knows someone who does. Thousands of rockets have been fired at Israel in the last few months – think about the fact that the Iron Dome exists and why it needs to. Terror attacks are ongoing; I feel like there’s been at least one every week since October. Thousands of people are displaced from their homes, either because of the rocket fire, or because their homes and communities were physically destroyed in the largest pogrom in recent history – the deadliest single day for Jews since the Holocaust ended. If that’s not trauma inducing, I don’t know what is.

And there is, of course, the generational trauma. And I think Jewish generational trauma is interesting because it’s so layered. Because it’s not just the result of one trauma passed down through the generations. Every 50-100 years, antisemitism intensifies, and so very frequently the people experiencing a traumatic event were already suffering from the generational trauma that their grandparents or great grandparents lived through. And those elders were holding the generational trauma from the time before that. And so on.

And because it happens so regularly, there’s always someone in the community that remembers the last time. We are never allowed the luxury of imagining that we are safe. We know what happened before, and we know that it happened again and again and again. And so we know that it only makes sense to assume it will happen in the future. The trauma response is valid. I live in America because my great grandparents lived in Russia and they knew when it was time to get the hell out in the 1900s. And the reason they knew that is because their grandparents remembered the results of the blood libels in the 1850s. How can we heal when the scar tissue keeps us safe?

I look around now and wonder if we’ll need to run. We have a plan. I repeat, my family has a plan for what to do if we need to flee the country due to religious persecution. How can that possibly be normal? And yet, all the Jewish families I know have similar plans. It is normal if you’re Jewish. Every once in a while I see someone who isn’t Jewish talk about making plans to leave because they’re LGBTQ or some other minority and the question always seems to be, “should I make a plan?” It astounds me every time. The Jewish answer is that you need to have a plan and the only question is, “when should I act?” Sometimes our Jewish friends discuss it at play dates. Where will you go? What are the triggers to leave? No one wants to go any earlier then they have to. Everyone knows what the price of holding off too long might be.

I want to keep my children safe. When do I induct them into the club? When do I let my sweet, innocent kids know that some people will hate them for being Jewish? When do I teach them the skills my parents and grandparents taught me? How to pass as white, how to pass as Christian, knowing when to keep your mouth shut about what you believe. When do I tell them about the Holocaust and teach them the game “would this person hide me?” How hard do I have to work to remind them that while you want to believe that a person would hide you, statistically, most people you know would not have? Who is this more traumatic for? Them, to learn that there is hatred in the world and it is directed at them, or me, to have to drive some of the innocence out of my own children’s eyes in order to make sure they are prepared to meet the reality of the world?

And the reality of the world is that it is FULL of antisemitism. There’s a lot of…I guess I’d call it mild antisemitism that’s always present that you just kinda learn to ignore. It’s the sort of stuff that non-Jews might not even recognize as antisemitic until you explain it to them, just little micro-aggressions that you do your best to ignore because you know that the people doing it don’t necessarily mean it, it’s just the culture we live in. It can still hurt though. I like to compare it to a bruise: you can mostly ignore it, but every once in a while something (more blatant antisemitism) will put a bit to much pressure on it and you remember that you were already hurting this whole time.

On top of the background antisemitism, there’s more intense stuff. And usually the most intense, mask off antisemitism comes from the right. This makes sense, in that a lot of right politics are essentially about hating the “other” and what are Jews if not Western civilizations oldest type of “other”? On the one hand, I’ve always been fortunate enough to live in relatively liberal areas so this sort of antisemitism has felt far away and impersonal – they hate everybody, and I’m just part of everybody. On the other hand, until recently I’ve always considered this the most dangerous source of antisemitism. This is the antisemitism that leads to hate crimes, that leads to synagogue shootings. This is the reason why my synagogue is built so that there is a long driveway before you can even see the building, and that driveway is filled with police on the high holidays. This is the reason why my husband and I were scared to hang a mezuzah in our first apartment (and second, and third). For a long time, this was the antisemitism that made me afraid.

But the left has a problem with antisemitism too. And it has always been there. Where the right hates the “other”, the left hates the “privileged/elite/oppressors.” It’s the exact same thing, just dressed up with different words. They all mean “other” and “other” means “Jew.” It hurts more coming from the left though. A lot of Jewish philosophy leans left. A lot of Jews lean left. So when the left decides to hate us, it isn’t a random stranger, it’s a friend, and it feels like a betrayal.

One of the people I follow works for Yad Vashem, and a few weeks ago she mentioned a video they have with testimonies from people who came to Israel after Kristallnacht, with an unofficial title of “The blow came from within.” The idea is that to non-German Jews, the Holocaust was something done by strangers. It was still terrible, but it is easier to bear the hate of a stranger – it’s not personal. But to German Jews, the Holocaust was a betrayal. It wasn’t done by strangers, it was done by coworkers, and neighbors and people they thought were friends. It was done by people who knew them, and still looked at them and said, “less than human.” And because of this sense of betrayal, German survivors, or Germans who managed to get out before they got rounded up, had a very different experience than other Holocaust victims.

And I feel like a lot of left leaning Jews are having a similar experience now. People that we’ve marched with or organized with, or even just mutuals that we’ve thought of as friends are now going on about how Jews are evil. They repeat antisemitic talking points from the Nazis and from the Protocols of the Elders of Zion, and when we point out that those ideas have only led to Jewish death in the past they don’t care. And if someone you thought of as a friend thinks of you this way, what do you think a stranger might think? Might do?

The Jews are fucking terrified. I’ve seen a post going around that basically wonders if this was what it was like for our ancestors – when things got bad enough to see what was coming but before it was too late to run? And we can see what’s coming. History tells us that they way people are talking and acting only leads to one place. I’m a millennial – when I was a kid the grandparents at my synagogue made sure the kids knew – this is what it looked like before, this is what you need to watch out for, this is when you need to run. I wonder where to run to. It feels like nowhere is safe.

I feel like I’ve been lucky in all this. I don’t live in Israel. I have family and acquaintances who do, but no one I’m particularly close to. Everyone I know in real life has either been sane or at least silent about all of this (the internet has been significantly worse, but when it comes to hate, the internet is always worse). I live in a relatively liberal area – there’s always been antisemitism around anyway, but it’s mostly just been swastikas on flyers, or people advocating for BDS, not anything that’s made me actually worry for my safety. But in the last 5 months there have been bomb threats at my synagogue, and just last week a kid got beat up for being Jewish at our local high school. He doesn’t want to report it. He’s worried it will make it worse.

I bought a Magen David to wear in November. At the time it seemed like the best way to fight antisemitism was to be visibly Jewish, to show that we’re just normal people like everyone else. Plus, I figured that if me being Jewish was going to be a problem for someone, then I would make it a problem right away and not waste time. I’ve worn it almost constantly since, but the one time I took it off was when I burnt my finger in December and had to go to urgent care. I didn’t think about it too much when I did it, but I thought about it for a long time after – I didn’t feel good about having made that choice.

The conclusion I came to is that the training that my elders had been so careful to instill in me kicked in. I was hurt, and scared, and the voice inside my head that sounds like my grandmother said, “don’t give them a reason to be bad to you. Fight when you’re well, but for now – survive.” It still felt cowardly, but it was also a connection to my ancestors who heeded the same voice well enough to survive. And it enrages me that that voice has been necessary in the past. And it enrages me that things are bad enough now that my instinct is that I need to hide who I am to receive appropriate medical care.

I wish I had some sort of final thought to tie this all together other than, “this sucks and I hate it,” but I really don’t. I could call for people to examine their antisemitic biases, but I’m not foolish enough to think that this will reach the people who need to do so. I could wish for a future where everything I’ve talked about here exists only in history books, and the Jewish experience is no longer tied to feeling this pain, but that’s basically wishing for the moshiach, and I’m not going to hold my breath.

I guess I’ll end it with the thought that through all of this hate and pain and fear, we’re still here. And we’re still joyful as well. As much as so many people have tried over literally THOUSANDS of years to eradicate us, I’m still here, I’m still Jewish, and being Jewish still makes me happy.

Am Yisrael Chai.

#antisemitism #judaism #venting #jumblr #long post #I'm not kidding it's like 2300 words #and it's a rambling mess #but i needed to vent #so help me god #if you show up in the notes and are being antisemitic I WILL find you and I WILL bite you

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ecoamerica · 25 days

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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panevanbuckley · 9 months

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how do u mark a fic as read?????????? I don't have that button! what is this sorcery???!!!?? :O

ahh okay sorry it's literally a month late 😭

a lot of people saw this post and apparently didn't know the mark as read feature existed (which ??? i'm 95% sure y'all will recognise it once you read this post)

so anyways. say you're like me and are scrolling for a very specific fic but during that scrolling you pass a fic that also intrigues you. but you don't wanna read it yet. you also don't trust yourself to open a new tab and not lose it so you use the mark for later button!

you'll see it at the top of any fic (example below)

click this. and boom! fic has now been added to your mark for later list. which can be found under history and marked for later on your account

but if you're anything like me you probably won't actually use that list because you switch hyperfixations far too often

it does come in handy still though because when (read: if) you return to this ship/fandom and are yet again scrolling for a good fic it can help you identify fics you've read before or not. usually i'll see something that sounds interesting, open it, and either it will be bookmarked already or it will have this new button at the top:

mark as read my beloved 🥰 means this fic caught my eye in the past but i never got around to actually reading it. so yay! new fic to read!!

(unless, like in the original post, i somehow either forgot to then mark the fic as read after reading it or for some reason never bookmarked it and then i trick myself into thinking i've not seen it 💀)

#hope this helps!!#honestly this feature is a lifesaver #because the amount of times i switch fandoms it's impossible to read every fic that catches my eye the first time i'm there #and also my marked for later list is then a mess of fandoms because you can't filter through it #ao3 #fanfic #drarry #jegulus #wolfstar #buddie #lestappen #sterek #sambucky #hotchreid #landoscar #gallavich #asks

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ftmtftm · 2 months

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Saw a post that said "y'all don't deserve trigger warnings for this one" in regards to the atrocities in Palestine right now and there is something that makes me so indescribably mad about that.

Most importantly it is so deeply, disgustingly dehumanizing to the people in front of the camera that you are claiming to care for. Using someone else's trauma. Someone else's suffering. Someone else's pain. To in turn traumatize others? To guilt them? To intentionally trigger them because "they don't deserve it"? That does nothing. That does absolutely nothing.

How does stripping someone of their personhood and turning them into shock value trauma porn for the sake of proving a point to other vulnerable people do anything constructive?

What good does that do for the person in pain besides turn their pain into a tool to inflict further damage?

How does that help anyone at all?

"But it's awareness!!"

No it's not. That's not advocacy. That's not "spreading awareness". That's intentionally going out of your way to degrade, demoralize, and guilt people by preying on their sense of morality and using the horrors of genocide as a fucking prop for it. And you are a sick bastard for that.

#sorry i'm angry #dealing with. a lot of moralistic guilt for trying to care for myself in the midst of a very stressful life period #and this shit just bothers me to no end #because there ARE ways to help and contribute when you yourself are in a vulnerable place #and guilting those vulnerable people and telling them they don't deserve content warnings #instead of providing them tools and resources to productively contribute #and effectively rendering them useless to your cause #is so fucking stupid to me #you do NOTHING by creating nonfunctioning messes of guilt and triggered emotions #except create a bunch of functionally useless guilt ridden people #and you call yourselves leftists !!!!#original post

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tiredwriter2003 · 3 months

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I lost it

I'm asking for help. I was in the middle of reading the reblogs of a post about Dan and Danny. In this one Danny keeps being called by the justice league and putting them ahead of everything else. Dan was watching on TV and sees Danny go down and loses it. He intervenes. Then we find out that Flash had been trying to impart hero lessons on Danny because he knew of the future where Dan existed and was trying to fix it and in the process causes some damage to Danny. Dan isn't happy. I was part way through reading the reblogs when the page reloaded and now I can't find it again. Can someone send me a link if they know it? I'm invested at this point.

#dp x dc #dpxdc #dc x dp #dcxdp #dc x dp crossover #protective Dan Phantom #Flash messed up #Help #I can't find it and I'm desperate

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ecoamerica · 25 days

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

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qrevo · 5 months

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Was tagged by @humanaaa to make a list of 13 songs I've been listening to lately!!

Haven't listened to many different songs lately (currently my main playlist is a Disorganized Hell), but these are the ones that I've been listening to the most:

Deep Cover - Milgram

Chimera - Deco27 (MegaTeraZero Cover)

Bug - KairikiBear (Chogakusei Cover)

Zombies - Deco*27 (Giga Remix, Chogakusei Cover)

This Is How To Be In Love With You - Milgram

Overdose - natori

Turing Love - NanawoAkari & Sou

Dramaturgy - Eve

PLATONIC GIRL - MikitoP (Amatsuki & luz Cover)

Double - Milgram

Say It - Yorushika

Aesthetic Sense - wanuka

Conveying Love Or Something Like That - aimyon

(Of course Deep Cover would get first place JKSKDBKSDF!! Been hearing it non-stop since it released. Like, go seigi girl!! Banger!!)

Besides that I've been hearing mostly songs from Milgram, Deco*27 (he can't stop releasing banger after banger❗❗), and some other vocaloid producer songs. Tho I usually prefer to listen to human covers (sorry Hatsune Miku i hope you can forgive me 🙏)

I'll tag @tokyogruel @good-beans @cubelogic @nilovalentine @mukuberry and @rainbowghostcat!! As always, no pressure tags, and anyone else can join :3

#14. skibidi toilet theme song #thanks for the tag :3 #i HAVE to organize my playlist this summer vacation #it's in a state of COMPLETE DISARRAY like SOMEONE HELP ME ORGANIZE THIS MESS SKFBVKSBVKSV #i'm free from spotify but i sometimes feel like sisyphus trying to organize it 💀💀💀#how do you guys organize your playlists. by vibes?? by artists?? by blorbos??#thinking of organizing it into vibes?? like happy-sad-calm-angry-love?? is that a good idea??#anyways i tried very very hard to put as little milgram as possible. tho it still filled like 25% of the list. exposed as a m*lgram fan 😔#off: BRASILEIROS ME RECOMENDEM ARTISTAS NACIONAISSSS PFF EU PRECISO OUVIR MAIS MÚSICAS BRASILEIRAS #qrevo.txt

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al-selfships · 3 months

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Imagine making your serious, stoic f/o laugh. Maybe it was intentional, a joke you told them to get a reaction out of them. Or maybe it wasn't, and you just got a little bit too clumsy in front of them. Either way, you're surprised when you see their lips slightly curving up. Your f/o looks away and coughs, or rather, they act as if they were coughing, but soon enough they can't contain their laughter any longer. It's as if their cold facade had melted away for a moment.

"My god. You truly are something else."

#🐺🐏;;#help I can picture this crystal clear in my mind and I'm dying (in a good way)#just. me being the walking mess that I am and her not being able to keep her serious default expression™#aaaaaa <3 #proship selfship #proselfship #selfproship

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eurydia · 1 month

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Raphael, Archdevil Supreme Oil on canvas pad, 8x10" details and process below lovely ref by @crimsoncrocuta

This non-canon outfit for Raph is one of my favorites! I love drawing him in it 💜 The frilled collar isn't in the original but I like to paint it in. It feels incomplete without it. I drew inspiration from Singer-Sargent, one of my major art influences. I'm self-taught and have studied his works for years, but this is the first time I've attempted his technique with oils (I was intimidated 😅). But I'm glad I tried because I learned a lot! I can only upload one video which is the process, but on my Instagram you can also watch: some tape removal, varnishing, and me adding the highlights for his eyes.