#It's just not especially good either and doesn't need a prequel

[weaselshaped]

I just think we should aspire to better queer fantasy than the Priory of the Orange Tree, a book that dares to ask, "What if a boring fantasy with lifeless prose had lesbians in it?" Idk man what if you put lesbians in a good story instead

#reading #Sorry I guess I'm annoyed about this again because of the prequel thing #Though admittedly I was some percentage less annoyed before someone reminded me of Tane's lifelong scar that is never mentioned until she #needs to pull the Quest Item out of it #I actually have many complaints about Priory but I still don't think it's Bad! #It's just not especially good either and doesn't need a prequel #Thank you for coming to my TED Talk

[leahswife]

where do we stand

summary: you're tired of aitana's mixed signals and someone on the spanish team loves to get you all flustered. aitana is definitely not jealous.

spoiler alert: that someone is none other than jenni hermoso.

a/n: more like fulfilling two fantasies in one

prequel, part one, part two, part three

this national break had come in handy for you and lucy. england was set to play a few matches in spain, so you were able to sneak in a break between trainings to go see your club teammates and you managed to check in the same hotel as them for the time being. 

you were both getting antsy as the game was approaching its end and spain was in the lead by one goal. 

when the referee blows the final whistle, you exhale in relief and lucy stands up, cheering, quickly pulling you up to celebrate with her. 

it takes some time for the stadium to start clearing up, with both teams doing their laps around the pitch to thank the fans, but once it was empty enough you and lucy walked down to the field to congratulate your teammates.

you ran up to ona, the girl grabbing your waist so she could lift you up and down with excitement, "ayyy oni!!" you laughed at being manhandled, when you noticed aitana.

her smile was radiant as she was cheering with salma and mariona. you didn't know if you should approach her or not, your situation a bit complicated as of now. explaining it was no easy task either. 

you were shy around everyone when you first transferred to barça, although over time they managed to crack your walls and gain your trust. especially aitana, the girl getting closer and closer to you each day. you eventually became best friends, until one night aitana drunkenly confesses she wants to kiss you. so then, your friendship changes into a… situationship? the next day you talk about it, aitana doesn't know what she wants but doesn't want to lose you either. you go back to normal as if nothing happened. but something does happen. during movie night at mapi and ingrid's for team bonding, you and aitana are in the corner of the couch whispering to each other, in the dark, when the catalan tentatively kisses the corner of your mouth. when you drop her off at home later that same night, you kiss her. she brings you inside, which turns one kiss into multiple. what could be defined as innocent kisses in each other's houses eventually become not so innocent make out sessions behind closed closet doors at training. but you're not dating. aitana whispers into your secret kisses that she can't date, she doesn't have time, she needs to focus. so you wait, and wait, and wait. until she's pulling away again and national break comes and she barely messages you, apart from the friendly "good luck" message.

so now here you were, in close distance to her again. you were friends, right? so friends congratulate friends. that's what she wants, so that's what you'll give her.

you turn your attention back to ona and squeeze her shoulders, "best defender in the making! just you wait until you have to face our lessi russo." you tease her by patting her cheek. ona rolls her eyes with a smile, "voy a estar preparada, tonta. what did you think of the game?" she now asks both you and lucy, as the latter approached, having been talking to alexia. "ehh, más o menos." lucy answers, banter present in her voice. ona mocks her and you chuckle, leaving them to it as you walk over to aitana.

"nice goal, bonmatí." you lightly kicked her butt with your foot to get her attention. she turns to you and immediately launches herself into your arms with an infectious smile. it must have been the adrenaline of the win, you think, a bit surprised. nonetheless, you hold her in your arms. "i saw you in the stands." she affirms once she let go of the hug to look at you tenderly. "hm, i might have been your lucky charm then." you shrugged nonchalantly and whipped your hair over your shoulder. "sí, obvio." aitana went along with your joke, nodding with a fake serious expression. 

suddenly a body slammed into you both, one tattooed arm being wrapped around your shoulder and the other around aitana's. "entonces, chicas, vamos a celebrar la noche entera?" you look up to see jenni hermoso flashing you a dazzling grin.

you had met jenni a few times before, with her visiting alexia every now and then, but you were never brave enough to start a conversation with the tall woman. truth was, she was extremely intimidating to you, probably because she was also extremely hot. however, you had to admit that, as an opponent, she was in addition, extremely annoying. you'd had some interactions in the field whenever england had to play against spain and jenni knew exactly how you worked. it's like she would previously study your every move so she knew how to push your buttons. if you were trying to get the ball, she wouldn't leave your side, if you were getting ready to receive a corner kick with your teammates, she would stand behind you and place her hands on your waist, if she tackled you she would offer her hand with a smug smirk.

you were terrifically infuriated with how easily she could mess with your head on the field and outside the field after a game, often leaving a dm on your instagram saying she couldn't wait to play with you again, followed by a winky face emoji.

right now, her strong arm around you and the way she was grinning at you only managed to redden your cheeks as aitana took the lead in answering her question with a laugh, "pues claro!" jenni ruffled her hair in approval and turned to you, "can i count with you as well?" she asked with challenge in her eyes. "aren't you a bit old to be partying all night?" you challenged back, forcing yourself to keep a straight face and not smile with amusement. that only prompted her grin to grow even wider and her hand to relocate from your shoulder to the side of your neck, playing with your hair. your breath hitched and suddenly you weren't playful anymore, far too aware of jenni's touch and her gaze. "so you do have a mouth." jenni remarked, the stupid smirk never leaving her face. 

aitana caught notice of this flirty interaction between you two and felt something boil in her chest, an ugly feeling she couldn't quite tell what it was but didn't like at all.

–

the club was already full when you got in with lucy and ona later that night, music blaring and people filling the dance floor. you noticed aitana dancing with some of the girls, a little too close for your liking. but she didn't want you like you wanted her, that's what you needed to remind yourself of. therefore, you might as well find a way to have fun tonight without her. you three reached the tables where most of the girls were gathered to greet everyone. 

you swiftly made your way to the bar, ready to start your fun. you were waiting for the bartender when you felt a breath on your ear, "you know, standing behind you outside of a football field can be even more exhilarating than i thought." you recognized jenni's voice right away and a smile slowly formed on your face. this, whatever it was, could be part of your fun, right?

you turned around and ignored your instinct to take a step back out of surprise, given how close jenni was to you. your eyes naturally scanned her body before your brain could even scold you for it and force you to put on a nonchalant mask. they finally looked up at her face, blush already visible on yours. the always present and annoying smirk she had on when talking to you turned to the bartender to order you two a drink.

"you know, i always wondered when you were going to finally talk to me, princesa."

"why would it matter to you?"

she cocked her head to the side, eyeing you curiously.

"i like corrupting pretty innocent girls who look like they could rip my head off in the field but then avoid me like the plague." she bit her lip, trying to hold off an amused smile when you roll your eyes.

"why have you never done so before, then?"

"alexia doesn't let me get too close to her players – and it seems she's not the only one." she points her head towards aitana, who's been watching you two interact from the dance floor with a frown on her face. 

you turn back to the bar to grab your drink and begin gulping it down, trying to keep your mind off of the catalan that up to that point had you wrapped around her little finger. "maybe you just have a bad reputation." you bite on the piece of lemon it was given to you and lick the bitter taste off of your lips. you noticed that had caught jenni's attention and asked, now with a small smirk, "should i be wary of that?"

her eyes never left your face as her strong hand carefully moved up your neck to your jaw, pulling you closer. you could feel her breath on your lips when she goes "i want to do bad things to you but i think it's something you should test yourself." 

your heart starts beating faster, blood rushing to your cheeks and your thighs pressing together involuntarily. just one move and your lips would be touching hers.

all of a sudden, your body is jerked away abruptly from the bar and jenni by a hand grabbing your arm and leading you in the direction of the club's exit. you look up to see aitana and let yourself be dragged outside where you pull back your arm, making her face you. "what exactly do you think you're doing, aitana?!" the rush and amount of emotions you had felt in the span of a minute made you question her with annoyance in your voice.

"that's what i should ask you. que haces con jenni?" aitana looked at you incredulously, an angry scowl visible on her face. you had only seen her angry on the pitch, and even then those moments were rare. but now she was pissed at you? for what? that only aggravated you further.

"what do you mean 'what am i doing with jenni'? you and i are nothing. you made it clear yourself multiple times. you can't have me whenever you want me and expect me to wait when you don't feel like it anymore. so do not tell me who i should or should not hang out with."

"but it's not just hanging out, is it?" she puffs air out of her nose, the frown never leaving her face.

"do you actually care or are you just jealous someone other than you is getting my attention?" you bite back.

"i'm not jealous. i'm just curious." she mumbled, crossing her arms and looking away, doing everything now to avoid your furious gaze.

"oh, so you're just curious. that's why you dragged me away from her like that." you say, sarcasm on the tip of your tongue.

she finally looks at you with an exasperated sigh, "and i'm worried. of course i care about you! and i know jenni isn't looking for anything other than–" she cuts herself off for a moment, knowing what she would say next would make her sound like a hypocrite.

"well, then that makes two of you, doesn't it?" the anger in your voice subsides but your tone is still bitter. aitana furrows her eyebrows together, a sad frown taking shape in her face at your words.

"the difference, aitana, is that if you tell me, right here, right now, that you want something with me, that you're not going to rush into my arms one minute and act like nothing happened the next, i'll stay. i won't go back in there to jenni or anyone."

"i–" aitana stutters, you can see her eyes begging you not to go back but her voice can't say the same. "i--i'm sorry. tú sabes que no puedo hacerlo." she whispers, almost as if she's ashamed to say it. 

you nod, fighting back your tears. silence looms between you both before you finally answer back, "that settles it then." you clear your throat before your voice can betray you any further for showing so much vulnerability in that moment. you turn around and start walking away, picking up your phone to call an uber when you see a message.

"28A 3rd floor. i expect to see you there ;) - jenni"

you seriously couldn't understand how this woman was capable of exuding cockiness even through text.

–

you managed to stay in your hotel room for about 30 minutes before temptation and frustration got a hold of you and you marched your way to jenni's.

you take a deep breath and knock on the door.

immediately you can't resist the urge to roll your eyes when jenni opens the door with a smug smirk on her face, crossing her arms and leaning against the door frame.

"took you long enough."

"shut up." you pushed at her chest and made your way inside.

#aitana bonmati #aitana bonmati imagine #aitana bonmati x reader #jenni hermoso #jenni hermoso x reader #jenni hermoso imagine #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso fanfics

[oatmilk-vampire]

mdni 18+ part 2(technically prequel)

When Eddie Munson came back from the dead, it didn't phase Robin too much. After all, it wasn’t the first time someone in Hawkins had seemed to come back from the dead. Just look at Will!

It was an accident. She let herself into Steve's place with the spare key he had given her. In her defense he wasn't answering the phone!

She only meant to walk in on Steve, she'd heard running water and didn’t care what she might see in the bathroom. He was practically her brother and she needed to demand ask him to give her a ride to the bookstore, she'd gotten word from Dustin via walkie-talkie that Vicki is there and she thought it'd be a great meet-cute if the two of them reached for the same book, which she would definitely make happen.

But then she walked in on Eddie when he was brushing his teeth, brushing his fangs. Now that wasn’t normal.

She had a momentary freak out while Eddie desperately tried to calm her down with his placating gestures and toothpaste foam dripping down his chin.

Eventually she heard his words and came to the conclusion that if Eddie had been back for a month already and none of their friends were dead, and the news hadn't reported any strange animal attacks, she must be safe. He must not be a bad vampire.

That didn't stop her from pushing her way to Steve's bedroom to find him peacefully napping without a hair out of place.

She closes his door much more carefully than she threw it open.

Steve may be fine but that didn't stop her from threatening Eddie saying she'd find out what exactly would kill a vampire if he even thought of snacking on anyone she cared about. Especially her platonic soulmate Steve.

They'd survived too much just for Steve to die by way of juicebox.

He assured her he'd never hurt anyone, especially Steve.

She thinks she believes him. After all, Steve and Eddie had seemingly gotten closer since Eddie returned from the dead. She wasn't sure if Steve just finally found another friend his own age, or if he may finally be giving into the glaringly obvious bi-tendencies he had. Either way, he hasn't seemed like he's been in any danger lately. He actually seemed the most happiest she's ever seen him. Maybe it's because he hasn't been getting rejected by every young woman in Hawkins? Then again, she hasn't seen him flirt either... Unless it was when Eddie came to the store to pick up a movie... Hmm.

When she realizes Steve won't be able to drive her she leaves in a huff, deciding she'd just ask Nancy to take her to the bookstore. Eddie offered, but she declined.

If Eddie was there while Steve was sleeping, then he must be expecting him to be there when he awakens. Whatever the nature of their relationship may be, she didn’t want to jeopardize Steve finally being happy.

What she didn’t know was Eddie had been snacking on Steve just fifteen minutes before she'd barged in and was washing the evidence from his mouth. He'd been snacking on Steve for just over two weeks now.

That's how their little friends with benefits arrangement began. Eddie got to eat without needing to hunt or steal from the blood blank, and Steve got off.

It's not Steve's fault he liked being drank from, liked the way Eddie’s lips felt on his neck and fangs buried in his skin.

Originally it was an innocent offer on Steve's part. He was more concerned it would hurt the way the truth serum injection did when he was being interrogated by the Russians a few years ago, or like the sharp bite of the demobats themselves; but instead of fainting when Eddie latched on, Steve popped a boner.

Maybe with all of the concussions he's endured he got a couple screws knocked loose, maybe that's why he gets horny just thinking about Eddie drinking from him.

Eddie doesn't mind it one bit. Sure he was worried with that initial gasp Steve let out, but now that he knows it was a good kind of breathlessness he drinks to his heart's content and allows Steve to rut against him to his heart's content. If Steve doesn't finish while Eddie is drinking he'll give him a handjob until he does. It's a pretty good arrangement even if it does leave Eddie hard in his jeans.

It's not that Eddie doesn't want to do more with Steve, he just doesn't trust himself to drink from Steve and be intimate at the same time; and he's too nervous to just try to be intimate with him sans feeding.

What if Steve isn't into Eddie like that? What if he's really just in it for the assisted masturbation and the moment Eddie makes a move this'll all end?

Eddie doesn't want that. He can't. He can't go back to drinking the gamey blood of animals that leaves him feeling more sick than nourished, or acting like a felon to score pints to stock his fridge, which he can't really do either since he refuses to tell Uncle Wayne in fear of sending the poor man into cardiac arrest.

Plus Steve is the best thing he's ever tasted. Better than any sweet, or any food eaten after getting the munchies. Steve is delectable. He's the best high. Plus Eddie likes being able to give Steve his own little high. An orgasm only he could give him. It does wonders for the ego.

Eddie wants more from Steve but he's too selfish to risk losing him for the better of them.

It's okay, though, because he gets a part of Steve no one else will ever have and that's enough for him.

For now.

#i dreamt this #👀 #monster fucker steve am i right? #sips coffee #steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #robin buckley #platonic stobin #steddie ficlet #vampire eddie munson

[otakubimbo]

Checkmate.

MafiaBoss Sukuna x F!Reader

You had a routine. You had a life. You had plans. Is your association with someone you hate going to change everything for you?

Sticky: I was asked to make it into a series so this is the prequel to this! It will be an on going series. I don't know how many chapters yet.

UPDATED STICKY: hi yes, you may be seeing this thinking 'OB this definitely doesn't look like what you wrote before.' and you would be right, i hated it so i changed it. Sorry, love yall, bye T-T

masterlist

next chapter

The activity at the Zenin compound was raising suspicion from their enemies, especially their biggest one The King of Curses. The two yakuza families had been cordial for the most part through the decades, but lately, the hot-headed Naoya Zenin was pushing his way into the King of Curses territory and that would not do, not at all. So, on top of the brazen acts by the end of that family, the activity coming from the compound DAILY was raising all alarms for Ryomen Sukuna.  And the activity? It was you, coming in and out the front gates of the compound almost daily, always bringing something with you, always leaving without anything. The biggest issue, no one had any information on you and yet you were casually coming in and out of the compound as if you were an important member of the Zenin’s. The King of Curses needed to know your role with them and how to use it to his advantage to get Naoya out of his hair for good.

That’s what led to one of the King of Curses disgruntled underlings following you around for the last two weeks. Nothing you did was of interest; you were actually quite boring. Your day consisted of leaving your condo with a bag of who knows what to the Zenin compound, spending a few hours there, and leaving to go to the park not far from the compound to play chess? With old people? It was strange, and then after that, you would leave after seemingly beating every old man who would sit with you and play to go to a café or library to work away at something on your computer.

Sukuna’s face was twisted into a scowl as he read over the report of your day.

“What the fuck is this?” His voice made the men under his command shrink into themselves and back down.

“Sir, that’s all we have. That’s all she does.” One of them spoke up not meeting Sukuna’s glare. The man before them flexes his fingers in an attempt to quell his rage from snapping either of their necks.

“Do you at least have a name; do you have anything?”

The silence from their lack of response was louder than anything they could have said. Sukuna crumbles the report in his hand, balling his fist and banging it against the sturdy wooden desk. He had to think of something. There had to be something he could think of because surprisingly enough despite how arrogant and boisterous Naoya was, the boy kept his circle tight and private. Nothing that the boy doesn’t want out, never gets out. You truly seemed nothing of interest but then no one and he knew NO ONE was allowed to freely walk in and out of that compound so casually without significance. Also, there was something about you that he couldn’t figure out and it was driving him almost insane. He had seen videos in the reports he was being sent of you and the way you walked and carried yourself had him in thought. In thought of what? He really didn’t know but he knew he needed to figure out what your connections with all of this were. Just before he was truly about to lose his temper, he did have an idea. After all, you were a woman so this should at least get a little information out of you.

“Bring me Fushiguro .”

Fushiguro, Toji Fushiguro, was one of Sukuna’s subordinates who would be considered a ‘ladies man’ and you were a lady. It was one of the oldest tricks in the book. He would use Toji to sway you into giving up some type of information or at the very least gain a bit of your trust to get you here to interrogate that wouldn’t draw any suspicions from the Zenin’s. It was a good plan that has worked on more than one occasion. Well, that was what Sukuna assumed until Toji actually met you.

There you were, right on schedule, as usual, laughing at the older man who sat across from you. It seemed that you had been beating him at a round of chess and the old man was being grumpy about it. Toji walked up with his casual nonchalant attitude toward the bench you were sitting on.

“Well, aren’t you a pretty little thing?” Toji commented as he walked up to you. You look up at him, a slight scowl on your face that he wasn’t expecting. Women usually fawn over him always immediately, but you looked almost disgusted. The glares he was getting from the older men around you didn’t help his circumstance either.

“Did you need something?” Your tone is annoyed as you glare up at him. He chuckles at your hostility. That made you scowl even more; you really didn’t want to be bothered by this man especially one as seemingly cocky and self-assured as this one.

“I’ve seen you here at the park a few times and wanted to get your name.” He lied and he could tell you knew it was a lie by the way your eyes narrowed at him.

You roll your eyes, sighing going back to making a move on the board in front of you, “Well I haven’t seen you before so I would prefer not to acquaint myself with you.”

Toji could tell this was going to be a lost cause on his part. Sukuna was not going to be happy about this in the least bit but there wasn’t anything else he could do, your body language told him everything he needed to know. He raised his hands in defeat and apologized for bothering you, heading back to the car parked around the corner. If Toji was a man who didn’t value his life, he would tell the King that he should give up on seeing what you know unless he just wanted to kidnap and torture you. You didn’t seem like the kind of girl to just give in to anything easily, and these soft plans would be a waste of everyone’s time.  But Toji was a man who did value his life at least a little, so he just planned to tell him exactly what happened and that you weren’t interested in speaking to him in the least bit.

Sukuna was frustrated with Tojis report, he couldn’t help but shoot one of the lackeys he had in the room. He didn’t kill him, maybe, but this was getting on his nerves quickly. The King’s attempt at trying to be subtle for once was getting him nowhere and it was pissing him off.

You knew you had been being watched for weeks now; it was almost obvious with the way that the same men kept appearing around the same time every day. They weren’t really good at this, it seemed to you. It didn’t concern you that much though, you understood why you may have been followed but you didn’t have any information of value. Naoya allowed you into the Zenin compound and he was never shy about what he did for a living or the type of man that he was. He didn’t value you as a person, so he allowed you to go and come as you pleased, which you were grateful for. He was a man who such self-assurance, such bravado, such misogyny that he didn’t find any value in hiding anything from you or your cousin that he made his wife. Your cousin, more of a sister to you than anything, was unfortunately the now wife of Naoya Zenin and the only reason you would EVER visit his compound. You hated every single second you spent in that space, but you did it for your cousin. She was trapped in these walls and unable to go anywhere unless it was with the end of the clan himself. The only thing that man allowed was for you to see her and you took that, making it almost your job to visit her every day in order to keep her sanity. You would bring her breakfast, books, snacks, or whatever you have found that could make sure she felt connected with the outside world and connected with something else besides the Zenin’s.

Every day you had almost the same schedule, visiting your cousin for a few hours, discussing the past day’s events and anything that you had brought over. Then you would go over to this beautiful park and play chess with the elders there, they adored you so much even if you beat them every time. After that, you would go off to either the library, a café, or anywhere that you could get back to work on your dissertation. That was the reason you had so much time to visit your cousin and make sure she was alright; you were working on your dissertation and that was the only thing that truly required your focus. You came from a wealthy family that was similar to the zenin’s in the way that there was no value to a woman besides being a bride. Luckily for you, your parents had agreed to allow you to finish any education before marrying you off just like your cousin. Which is why you are currently working on your Ph.D. in comparative literature. You had hoped to continue down the path of education hoping that if you elongate your studies, your parents will focus more on your brothers and forget about you. You hoped.

It had been a while since you had been followed and since your last encounter with that handsome but strange man who attempted to flirt with you for whatever reason that you completely forgot about those interactions. This is why the confusion on your face was felt by the elders that you usually play chess with as you walk to your park in the spot where you play to see them laughing and playing with someone else who isn’t you. It took you WEEKS to have them allow you to play and now here sat a man in YOUR spot playing with them as they laugh and smile at the man.

There in your place sat a man you knew you had never seen before. There sat the King of Curses himself, Ryomen Sukuna.

#jjk gojo #angst #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk sukuna #sukuna ryomen #ryomen sukuna #sukuna #toji fushiguro #jjk toji #jjk fushiguro #mafia au #mafia #tw kidnapping #tw violence #tw gun #uraume #jjk fanfic #jjk smut #naoya zenin #zenin #zenin clan #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujustu kaisen #jujutsu au #chess #chess pieces #fanfiction #sukuna fanfic #sukuna ryomen smut

[13as07]

Spitting Image #3

(Gaara Sabaku)

[Artwork is not mine! Credit to Tamengkay]

Requested by: Myself

Word Count: 3,874

Warnings and/or Pre-Notes:

Should I do a prequel of their night together? Hmm… probably

———————————————————————

The opal eyes my son inherited from his father are staring back at me from the door frame of my apartment. "Yoshiki isn't here right now," I mutter, clinging to the door I've cracked open.

     "I know. Shikadai and Inojin were playing with him at the flower shop when I stopped. I stopped at the flower shop, on the way, for these," Gaara races out, shoving one of the fancy bouquets toward me. Ino and I tease that it's the 'I fucked up' bouquet since its starting price is twelve thousand yen.

     "The thought is appreciated but flowers aren't a good present for a nine-month-old," I point out, a ting of sadness aching in my chest. Yoshiki has officially been out in the world longer than I carried him for.

     It's been about two months since Gaara met his son and since we met Yoshiki's family. The Hokage keeps randomly showing up, never going longer than a week without appearing back in the village. More often than not he's only gone three or four days, and while he's away his older sister tends to show up.

     The extra help is nice, for the most part. I'm still a bit on edge about letting Temari help though. I don't like someone I barely know around my kid, even if it is his Aunt.

     The only person stressing me out more than Temari is Gaara himself. He seems cold most of the time, definitely not the blushing 'oh my this is happening' guy he was the night we spent together. He also seems to not know what he's doing, which I get if it wasn't for the older son he has. It leaves room for speculation.

     That and I can only imagine how the sand village is reacting. It's a good half-a-day trip either way, and with him spending so much time in the Leaf I'm sure his council isn't too happy, especially since rumor has it our council isn't too happy with his constant appearance.

     Pair all that with the constant shove of money in my face and it doesn't sit too well in the gut. I know he's doing it in good nature, the fancy dinners, constantly buying new things for Yoshiki and leaving money around the house when I deny it from him. I know it's all meant in good faith... I think, but it stresses me out too.

     I don't need Gaara to take care of us, to take care of me. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad Yoshiki's father can offer him the nicer things in life and a part of me is glad that he wants to. But it still stresses me out. It makes me feel like he's setting himself up for a 'you owe me'. Another worry that doesn't get stomached too well.

     I haven't used any of the money Gaara keeps leaving behind. I have been saving it though, squirreling it away, keeping it as a little nesting egg in case Yoshiki and I do have to make a run for it. My father might have kept me blind to the Shinobi world but he didn't keep me blind from ways to keep myself safe. Rule number one: always have a packed to-go bag and an exit plan. At the rate things are going, that might just come in handy.

     "I know that," Gaara says a bit defensively, pressing the flowers to his chest before leaning them back towards me. "I got them for you," he mutters, eyes jumping around the apartment I'm in the middle of cleaning. "What is it that you are doing?"

     "Cleaning," I answer, eyeing the flowers. Is Gaara acting suspicious or am I being paranoid? We shall see. "Yoshiki has grown out of his pre-me clothes and some of the other outfits he has so I'm going through them. Whatever Konah and his wife don't want is going to be taken to the women's shelter."

     "Pre-me?"

     "It's short for premature. Yoshiki was born just short of thirty weeks. He was really small, three point two pounds. He's doing good now. His doctors say he's still a bit underweight but it's nothing to worry too much about. Just something to monitor." During my rant I've shuffled away from the door, focusing on folding more of Yosh's clothes and placing them in the box to bring Konah.

     "I was born premature," Gaara whispers, following behind me to watch as I fold.

     "My mother was too, so the chances of Yoshiki being a pre-me was always there. Besides that's a thing that comes from the mother's DNA, so don't work yourself up over it."

     "I was not going to," he murmurs, eyes jumping around the small space as his cheeks slowly dust themselves pink. I hum in disagreement, carefully watching as Gaara makes the short walk from the living room to the kitchen. "Where do you keep your vases?"

     "I don't have any vases."

     "What do you mean you 'do not have a vase'?" He asks, face scrunched up as he looks at me.

     "Exactly what it sounds like. I don't own a vase. Never have cause I've never needed one."

     "I am going to get you a vase."

     "You really don't need to, Gaara. I don't need a vase and I don't need flowers. I appreciate the gesture but I'm good," I tell him, panic banging around my chest at the thought of him buying me something else, much less more flowers.

     His head tilts and his face scrunches more before he shakes his head. "I am going to get you a vase," Gaara says more to himself than me, nodding in agreement with himself. "And new cups," he mutters, opening the cabinet, being met with the mix-match cups I've somehow gained over the years. "You shall have a vase and new cups next time I stop by."

     "I really, really don't need a vase and those cups work just as well as any others. I don't need new cups or anything else from you. I'm doing fine for myself and my son."

     "Our son."

     "My son," I repeat, feeling like I'm going to throw up despite the hardass tone I've managed to maintain.

     Gaara blinks at me a couple of times, seeming a bit dumb-founded and looking it as he stares, still holding the 'I fucked up' bouquet. "As you wish," he mutters, finally back in motion. He sets the flowers down before opening random drawers in search of something. When he finds it - a pad of paper and a pen - he goes to work scribbling on it. "Nonetheless, I shall walk around and make a list of things you two need."

     I let out a laugh of disbelief, clothes completely forgotten because of the madman's words. "No, you are not. I already told you -"

     "If you wish me to stay out of your room I will, but yes, I am going to figure out what it is that the mother of my child and our son needs," Gaara freezes for a second, imaginary eyebrows jumping up. "My apologies, what your son needs."

     "Are you being a smart-alec right now?" I ask, another disbelieving laugh leaving my lips. "Is that what you're doing?"

"No," he says matter-of-factly. "You are not okay with me referring to Yoshiki as something we share, so I will avert from doing so."

"Dumbass," I mumble under my breath, turning my attention back to the pile of clothes I'm giving away. "I got knocked up by a dumbass."

————————————

"I'm just saying, Gaara is being a little much," I grumble, messing with my keys in search of the one that unlocks my front door.

"And I'm just saying, Gaara wants to take care of you. What's the harm in letting him?" Ino asks, her eyes are shiny with amusement.

"If you like the idea so much, ask him to take care of you," I groan, finally managing to get the key in the lock.

She laughs focusing on the grocery bags she's shifting in her arms. "Ya let me just ask Gaara to give me a baby too. I'm sure that'll go over well. Honestly, I still don't know how you managed to talk him into bed."

"You and me both," I mumble, pushing the door and leaving it open for Ino to follow. She does follow after me, silence flaking between us as we head towards the kitchen to place my groceries down.

     "Welcome home!" Shinki calls out, racing into the kitchen to greet us. "Oh! Hello Auntie Ino!"

     As Ino greets him, I head back out to the living room in search of Yoshiki. Panic starts to rise a bit when I don't find him - or Gaara.

     The panic doesn't last long though, the two of them falling into view when I push Yosh's nursery door open. Gaara looks uneasy as he sits in the rocking chair, my - our - son fast asleep on his chest. "Hello," he calls, stiffening when our son stirs in his sleep.

     "Hello," I echo, softly closing the door before I head towards them. "You know you can lay him in his crib," I tell him, carefully picking Yoshiki off his chest.

Gaara stiffens again, face scrunching up as he inches forward. "I am aware. I did not wish to."

A smile weighs on my lips as I cuddle with my son, pressing soft kisses to his head as I rock the sleeping boy. "Do you want him back when I'm done?"

He blinks at me in his slow way, his face slowly softening as he thinks. "Yes," he mutters, relaxing in the rocking chair again. "I enjoy our time here."

"I'm glad," I hum, soaking in my greeting to Yoshiki for another beat before I gently lay him back on his father's chest. "Yoshiki enjoys it when Shinki and you are here too."

"Do you enjoy when we're here?" Gaara asks, eyes locked on me, his stone-face expression on it like usual.

I think about it for a moment, trying to decide what answer to give: honestly or sugar-coated. "I enjoy spending time with Shinki, he's a sweet kid. I absolutely adore him. I'm happy the two of you are in Yoshiki's life." Both, that works.

"Are you happy we're in your life?"

"Yes," I answer before I have the chance to fully think about it. It's not a lie, I do enjoy having the Sand Shinobis around. I truly adore Shinki and like having him around. Gaara isn't terrible to have around either, it's nice having an extra set of hands, to have a man for Yoshiki to grow up looking up to, and I might have grown a bit fond of the flowers and the pale blue vase he got me.

He nods to himself, slowly rocking himself and Yosh in the chair as he spaces out. "How was your grocery shopping trip with Ino?" He finally murmurs, opal eyes set on me in their intense way. I swear Gaara can't look at anything calmly.

"It was alright. I think I'm going to make homemade ramen for dinner. I'm thinking of topping it with pork and boiled eggs."

Another spaced-out look and agreeing nod. "You should wait until Yoshiki wakes up so I can help you."

"I think I'm capable of - "

"- I know," Gaara cuts me off, eyes scrunched in a way that makes the markings of his eyes stand out. "I am aware you are capable of a lot of things. I am here to help, so I shall help. I wish you would let me help you more often."

I open my mouth to respond but get cut off again, this time by a knock at the door. "Hey, mamas," Ino's voice rings out as she opens the door, slowly poking her head into the room. "I have a meeting soon so I'm going to head out. Shinki is working on putting the groceries away. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Enjoy your meeting, I'll see you later," I call back, waving at my friend before she pulls the door closed again.

"Let me help with dinner," Gaara butts in once the door is closed, ending my attempt to respond before I can even start it. "I want my sons to see me helping around the house. It is not fair for you to work all day and then come home to do the household duties. Let me help."

I let out a long sigh, crossing my arms over my chest as my eyes jump around the nursery. "Fine, you can help with dinner," I say, giving in to Gaara's request.

I suppose there's no harm in letting him help more around the house, especially since he and his son spend most of their time in the village here. Of course they don't sleep here, it's only a small two-bedroom apartment, but if they're not sleeping or spending time with friends and family in the village, they are here. Which means they're here most of the day.

As I leave Yosh's room, thoughts of getting a bigger apartment cross my mind. Should I start looking for a three-bedroom or a four-bedroom? Probably a three-bedroom, I don't think Shinki would mind sharing a room with his younger brother... maybe. I'll just look for both. After all, at the rate we're going Gaara isn't going to let up anytime soon.

————————————

"You're doing that thing again," I grumble, shifting the strainer back and forth to shake the water out of the noodles I'm prepping for dinner.

"What thing?" Gaara asks, his eyes still intensely on me as they have been for the last ten minutes. I swear he hasn't even blinked during the time.

"That thing where you sit there and stare at me. You did it during..." My mouth snaps closed, not sure how to refer to our night together so long again. Not really, it's only been eighteen months. Though a lot has changed in that year and a half. "Our time together," I murmur, shaking the strainer harder.

"Did what?"

"Just sit there and stare. Even in my drunk stupor, it creeped me out a bit."

Gaara finally blinks a few times, slow and steady as he thinks of his response. "You are a very beautiful woman. Besides, I like to look at the mother of my children."

The plural use of the word makes the strainer tumble from my hands, crashing into the sink as I lean down to rest my weight against the edge of it.

"Are you okay?" Shinki asks, his head popping up from the wood blocks he and Yoshiki are playing with. Shinki is trying his hardest to teach his younger brother how to spell his name. I don't think he has grasped the concept of how young Yosh is yet. Still, it's been cute watching him try.

"Yes, sweetie. We're fine," I call before letting out a silent sigh, my eyes snap closed as the sink edge digs into my palms. "What the fuck, Gaara?" I hiss out quietly, refusing to let the boys see me lose my temper with their father.

"What?" He asks, blinking in his slow 'trying to comprehend' way that's starting to piss me off.

"Child, the mother of your child. Singular, one, I have had one baby. In total. Not just one of your sons, one in total."

"Yes, I know that," he says, face scrunching in lack of understanding. "But you are the closest thing to a mother Shinki has known, and I fully intend to get you pregnant again. Perhaps we will have a daughter this time."

"What the hell, Gaara?!" I yell before I can stop myself, snapping my eyes open and standing up straight.

"There is no need to yell. It is not something I plan on doing soon. There are things we need to get in order."

"Like what?" I hiss quietly, shifting closer so it's easier to keep my tone quiet. I don't need the boys noticing the fit heating up, and Shinki's glancing eyes let me know he's starting too.

"Well, I would like to get Yoshiki and you situated in the Sand Village, again not anytime soon if you don't wish it but preferably within the next couple of months. Then we will need to get the events in place for the wedding and of course the papers to update Shinki's adoption order. Then the matter of getting pregnant again. I do not mind the age gap between the boys but I think it would be best to have our next child sometime before Yoshiki is three or four."

"Get out." The words come out airy, disbelief and anger rooted in my mind.

"What?"

"Get out," I repeat, anger quickly outweighing my disbelief. "I need you to get out of my sight. I need you out of my home, I need you out of the village. I need you as far away from me as humanly possible. Get out, now."

"What is it that I've - "

"Get out!" I repeat, shouting at him now. My hands jump forward, connecting with his chest before I start shoving him out of the kitchen. "Out! Get out! Get away from me! Get away from my son! Go away!" I yell, continuing to shove him.

"I do not understand what it is that - " Gaara tries to say, his hands jumping up and gently cupping my elbows, he's not even trying to stop my shoving.

"I swear to the lord I'm going to stab you, Gaara. Go away," I shriek, tugging myself from his grip before slamming the front door open. Once the door is open, I go back to shoving him out of the house, leaving the Sand Hokage in the hallway before slamming and locking the door shut.

When I turn back around, Yoshiki is crying and screaming in fear because of my yelling. Shinki is wide-eyed and his mouth hangs open as he stares at me. "I swear," I mutter under my breath, taking quick steps towards my son. I swoop down, picking him up before I try rocking him. "It's okay, Yosh. I know, I know. Mommy is sorry for yelling. Everything is okay," I coo, shifting us back and forth as I rub his back.

"Are you kicking me out too?" Shinki's soft voice calls out, the volume being his failing attempt to hide his sadness.

"No, no. Of course not, sweetie," I continue to coo, my fake calmness aimed at him instead of Yoshiki. "I'll never kick you out of my home, okay? You're always welcome here," I continue to soothe, dropping the arm not holding Yosh down so I can run my fingers through Shinki's hair.

"This is a safe space for you, Love. I'm sorry I've made it unsafe," I continue to soothe the older boy, placing his younger brother back on the ground now that he's calmed down. I fall to my knees in front of Shinki, wrapping my arms around him and pressing his head to my shoulder. "How about we put Yosh in his high chair and you can help me make dinner, okay?"

"Okay," the older boy whispers into my shoulder, willingly laying his head down now. "I'm sorry Papa upset you."

"You don't have to be sorry for him. Just because I'm mad at Gaara doesn't mean I'm mad at you, Sweetie," I tell him, littering the side of his head with kisses. "Let's finish making dinner now, okay?"

"Okay."

————————————

Ino lets out a loud chuckle, hunching over the counter as she giggles. "I'm sorry, it's really not funny... except it is."

A groan escapes me as I lay my head on the counter, rolling over my fight with Gaara again. "I do not know what is funny," Sai says, looking quite confused as his head switches between his wife and me. "I think it is nice that Gaara wants another child."

"My dear," Ino says, wrapping herself around Sai's arm. "Gaara's bluntness is what's funny. They barely know each other, they are nowhere near close enough to get married, let alone have another child together."

     "Well, why not?" He asks, head tilting as he looks at his wife. "Gaara is here about as much as he's away. They practically live together and already have one child together. The only person in the village who knows Gaara better than her is Temari... well, and possibly Naruto. It seems that the only way they are not married is by the law of the Great Nations."

     Now it's my turn to giggle at Ino's unaware father of her child. "Well," she starts, mouth gaping like a fish as she struggles with her words. "The... there's not the emotional part of it. No one should marry someone they don't love, Sai."

     "Are you blind, my love?"

      "What?!" Ino shrieks, letting go of Sai's arm.

     "Please calm down. I meant it in a joking way, not literally. I am just saying it is obvious that Gaara enjoys her company."

     "What do you mean?" I ask, turning my attention away from the hissy fit Ino is throwing.

     "Like I said before, Gaara spends a lot of time in the village. I am aware it is to see Yoshiki, but he seems quite interested in taking care of you as well. If he did not love you, why would he be interested in your specific needs? Personally, if I was not interested in the mother of my child, my sole focus would be on my child. I would not care about the mother is all I'm saying. My child's needs would be met and that's it."

     Ino's lecture about the hypothetical situation goes into full swing, a few groans of manners and politeness thrown into the mix. As she gets after her husband, I replay Sai's words in my head. Maybe he had a point, or maybe he didn't. I don't know.

     Gaara's and Shinki's constant travels have been weighing on my mind recently though. They travel to and from the village at least once a week, if not twice. It would be a lot easier on them if we all lived in the same village, and well... it would be easier for Yoshiki and me to move to the Hidden Sand than Gaara and Shinki moving here. After all, Gaara is their Hokage, and leaving that job wouldn't be easy or smart, financially.

     "Maybe I will," I mutter, letting out another sigh.

     "Maybe you will what?" Ino asks, stalling her discussion with Sai.

     "Maybe Yoshiki and I will move to the Sand Village. It's the least I can do since Gaara is doing so much for us. Besides, it would be easier for me to get a new job at the same pay I have now than it would be for him."

     Ino and Sia fall quiet for a couple of minutes, the weight of my words hovering over them as much as it's hovering over me. Ino finally pipes up, saying "Whatever you choose to do, we'll support you. Always."

I swear I'm never drinking a margarita for the rest of my life.

———————————————————————

———————————————————————

———————————————————————

———————————————————————

———————————————————————

———————————————————————

#naruto shippuden #naruto shippuden oneshot #naruto shippuden x reader #Gaara Sabaku x reader #Gaara sabaku #Gaara sabaku oneshot #gaara x reader #Gaara oneshot

[elucubrare]

i'm conceptually pretty down for the prequel as a mode of storytelling - i think it's a fun exercise to show how the worldstate of the original work came about, and when it's about a specific character, I think it's a good reason to do a character study. that said, my reaction to mentor prequels tends to be "but why tho"

I think that's because

when mentors are interesting, it tends to be because a) they have goals that have some kind of mismatch with those of their mentee; b) they have a past with hints of seediness (or worse), especially in contrast to their current image; c) they have skills that are extraordinary in their intensity or their eclecticism; d) they're generally enigmatic and inscrutable.

Thus, it seems like it should be possible to write a prequel exploring either their past or how they acquired their skills, and it's not impossible, to be sure!

However, making the mentor the main character of the prequel tends to take some of the narrative interest of both the idea of prequels and the mentor themself. "how did the Archwizard become Archwizard?" well, probably they gained a lot of experience in magic somehow, or did a lot of political manipulation in their order.* Mentors tend not to have a lot of history, so we have to invent a backstory. Ok, so they came from rags to riches and forced their way into the Mage's Order. Then they did a bunch of cool things. Which is all fine! But by becoming a more straighforward coming of age and adventure story, it loses a lot of the pull of a prequel. 3a. I think there's room in there for the mentor to be doing cool stuff while the forces of history that create the problems their mentee will deal with are slowly moving pieces into place, but honestly that's really hard to pull off in a way i feel is satisfying.

I am thinking of this directly in contrast to villain prequels, which I think are, at least, conceptually more interesting. "what are the specific choices that led a person to become the specific villain they are in the main story" is a story i think has more meat to it than "how did a hero get their skills," if only because the second doesn't need to be attached to a specific preexisting story.

I also think that a lot of cool things in mentors' backstories are cooler if you don't see them on page - "That's Orstariy, who held the bridge at Terion, and who diced all night with a demon prince for the king's soul" is a complete story that I don't think is more fun with more elaboration, & in fact without more details lets me create the legend in my head, while showing it piece by piece would make it more ordinary.

In any case. It's not that it's impossible to write a good mentor backstory, I just feel like without a good reason to exist, they don't really capitalize on the parts of the concept of the prequel that I think are most dramatically juicy.

__ *honestly i would be pretty down for the Archwizard as mostly political office - it's not like the president of a university is the Best Scholar there

#my thoughts on... #i have been trying to use I-language here so hard.

[it-was-funeral-grey]

And away (Al Haitham x F!Reader)

Prequel Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Extra 1 Masterlist

Summary: now that all that's settled, it's time to head back to vimara village. (all hail imaginary kaveh)

Warnings: mentions of medicine, the meat industry and its processes, economics macro and micro, boat travel, awkwardness, denial, internal battles, vulgarities, mild injuries (sprained ankle), carrying, mentions of sanitary pads, ect, spying on friends .

Word count: <4.3k words

Inspired by: Telephone - Waterparks

"I know we only just met, so why do I feel invested?"

Author's note: i had to dig out all my economics knowledge for this lol. i still almost failed econs so just pretend that i make total sense for the sake of the story pls. Also, i may come back and mass re edit this.

Thank you for all the lovely comments for part 3! it really made my day! i'm sorry if this part isnt as good as the rest! I tried

Please give criticism! Also, if i missed any warnings, do tell me so i can add them!

Out of all the issues Al Haitham has to deal with, Port Ormos is the most pressing and the source of many other problems.

No trade means no business. No business means no jobs. No jobs mean no work, which means no income for both Sumeru and the people. And especially since Port Ormos is Sumeru's main port, national income has taken a hard hit. Akademiya economists have been sending him report after report about their concerns about Sumeru's economic forecast. It does not look good.

In addition, no trade means that Sumeru doesn't get new resources anymore. While Sumeru is mostly self-sufficient food-wise, many resources still cannot be obtained locally- or are mostly imported. And since Port Ormos is both Sumeru's largest and main port, lots of imports are not coming in anymore.

For example, there's currently a national shortage of cold medicines, which Sumeru usually imports from Snezhnaya. Particularly during monsoon seasons, cases of colds, dengue fever and the flu increase amongst the population. But Snezhnayan traders and businesses have pulled away from Sumeru after the Akademiya scandal. Bimarstan had gotten so desperate for cold medicine that it had begun asking locals to donate their leftover medicine. To ease the burden on the Bimarstan, Al Haitham had ordered Amurta to help mass manufacture medicines. However, this is only a stopgap measure. He needs to find a way to solve the root cause of the problem.

Furthermore, inflation has been a growing issue. The situation isn't so bad in Sumeru city, as its tiny port is still running- albeit not as smoothly or vibrantly as it used to. But in other parts of Sumeru, it's a whole different story. 

Everything is connected in a way. Just because Sumeru isn't reliant on imports for food doesn't mean food prices are not affected by the lack of other resources. For example, to produce fowl meat, you'll need a few things:

Either machinery (mostly from Fontaine) or workers to slaughter the fowl.

Appropriate packaging to pack the fowl meat.

Transport to carry your produce to marketplaces throughout Sumeru.

In this case, most issues lie with step one. Most farmers in Sumeru had taken to using Fontaine machinery to mass slaughter poultry. It was much cheaper than hiring workers and way more efficient. The only trade-off was that these machines ran on a specific type of oil that only is sold in Fontaine. So, manufacturers would sell the oil alongside it. 

But now, Fontaine traders and businesses are gradually pulling away from Sumeru. That means a lesser supply of oil, which means a decrease in the supply of fowl since machines are not able or cost more to run. A shortage means that prices go up. People buy less or cannot afford fowl at all. Farmers make less money, which prevents them from hiring more workers (or results in them letting go of workers if they don't use machinery) to increase the fowl supply. A case of cost-push inflation, similar to other case studies Al Haitham has read up on.

This is just one example out of many. The inflation and unemployment rate are growing. Adding everything up, including the current political climate, Sumeru is becoming less and less attractive to traders and businesses, causing them to pull away, worsening the Sumeru economy. It's a vicious cycle that Al Haitham needs to break.

If Al Haitham had to list all the issues Port Ormos has caused him, he'd be able to write himself all the way to an economic degree. Which he'll be able to sign off, now that he thinks about it. He's the Acting Grand Sage. He'll announce his own name. Present the degree to himself. Shake his own hand.

But anyway, the main point is that if he's able to revitalise Port Ormos, many other issues will resolve themselves. He had finally had a lucky break that Thursday and was free to head to Port Ormos to speak to the trade supervisors. But then, of course, stuff happened, and he wasn't able to do all that.

Which is why he's heading back to Vimara village again today. He specifically worked through the entire night in his cold office, wet clothes clinging uncomfortably on his body just so he could make time today for this. This time, he's going to make sure he speaks to the trade supervisors and settle this once and for all. He's ready to negotiate to hell and back to ensure the port reopens.

No surprises today, he'll make sure of it.

"Oh! You're heading back to Vimara Village?"

Well. Never mind, then.

The rising heat only hits the moment he walks out of the tavern. 

Treasures Street is empty tonight because of the heavy rain. Shops have closed early- the only exception being the tavern. But even so, Al Haitham feels too exposed. He doesn't feel cold anymore. The heat blooming in his cheeks and all over him makes sure of that.

Al Haitham quickens his pace. There's still a long walk to the Akademiya. The faster he gets there, the more time he'll have to finish whatever he has to do. 

The faster he gets there, the less time he'll have to think about what just happened.

Let's review. 

First of all, he fainted. Presumably right in front or around her house- so that's how she found him. Fine. He can't fault himself for that. He had been running on less than three hours of sleep that week. The cherry on top had been that four-hour trek he had to do on top of that. He was exhausted. The human body has its limits. 

But then he woke up and bawled his eyes out like a baby. In front of her. A total stranger. She pushed a bowl of the best meal he ever had (and his only meal in two days) into his face, and he cried. He cried so much that he passed out. Again. Until the following evening. 

It takes a lot of willpower from Al Haitham to not squat down and cringe in the middle of the street. 

Archons, he's pathetic. 

His cheeks burn, and he instinctively moves a hand to cover his face. The movement is accompanied by a crumpling sound, which reminds him of the snack he was given before he left the tavern. 

Taking cover under Menakeri's Treasure Shop, he removes the neatly bundled wrap from its paper bag. The rain isn't letting up. He couldn't be more drenched, but thankfully, the wrap is still dry- courtesy of the paper bag he took from Lambad's counter.

The wrap is still warm, and he curses when the rainwater on his hand seeps into the napkins. Removing it quickly, he holds the wrap in his hands. 

Wait. What's he going to do with the wrap?

He should throw it away. It's a terrible waste of food, but he can't afford to eat and feel sleepy later. He has to finish everything and then some, so he'll be free to head back to Vimara village tomorrow.

She held out the bundle with trembling hands.

The wrap suddenly feels heavy. Looking around, he spots a rubbish bin just a step away outside the shop.

She had left her warm, comfortable spot just to make sure he had something to eat.

He should really get going. Throw it away. And then leave for the Akademiya. But his feet refuse to move.

"They're worried about you, you know?"

Why don't you worry about yourself instead?

"Oh! You're heading back to Vimara Village?"

You weren't expecting to see the Acting Grand Sage again. Much less on the ferry Cyno had arranged to bring you back to Vimara village. 

If the Acting Grand Sage was surprised, he hid it well. Slowly turning to face you, he coolly leans against the railings of the small, wooden ferry. But the piercing sound of creaking wood jolts him back up almost immediately.

"Yes." he hastily answers, turning around to check on the railing, pushing it back and forth, then squatting down and repeating the action.

A curt answer. What are you supposed to say to that? You can't even hum in agreement or find an opening to make small talk before you politely excuse yourself to take a seat inside. 

The only sound filling the air now is the creaking of wood as he scrutinises the railing. You're not sure what he's checking for- it's just a loose railing, but you admire the dedication nonetheless. A minute passes. 

An alternative course of action is to simply walk towards the seating area without saying anything else. But he's blocking the entrance. Taking a step forward, you shift closer to gauge how much space you have to move through it.

Nope. No way to pass through at all. His large build completely obstructs the entrance. There's no way to pass without saying anything, and you're not sure what you can say that isn't awkward. 

"Uh, excuse me. I'm just going to pass- yeah, oh- you don't need to stand, just- sorry."

Yeah, say that, and proceed to simmer in uncomfortable silence with him in the seating area for the next hour and a half. 

"...You're also heading back to the village?" there's another creak of wood as he shifts it from left to right now.

"Ah! Yes," you reply, eager to stave off the growing awkwardness. "I, uh, live there." 

He stiffens at your answer and brushes a hand over his face. You see his shoulders slacken as he sighs.

Did...you say something wrong?

If you did, he doesn't comment on it. Finally standing up, he's turning around and-

"I'm just going to head in first!" you blurt out, taking the opportunity to rush past him into the seating area.

But of course, just as you finally get into the seating area, the ship suddenly rocks, throwing you off balance and onto the hard floor.

Al Haitham's face is on fire. It must be because of the new soap he used this morning. Kaveh had pestered him for money to buy that brand, and he had finally caved. Yes, this is all Kaveh's fault.

No, he is not blushing. Why would he be? He isn't ill or feverish. Neither is he embarrassed.

It's just the soap. A mild allergic reaction, perhaps. But he isn't allergic to anything. Perhaps he should book an appointment at Bimarstan to confirm that. Allergies are dangerous.

Why can't he turn around?

There's a loud, rhythmic pulsing in his ear, which strangely is in phase with the beating of his heart. Is that his heartbeat he's hearing? Why is it so loud? And so fast? Also, why is his heart beating so hard?

He knows the answer. He just doesn't want to admit it.

Al Haitham is not embarrassed. Why should he be? It matters not what she thinks of him. She isn't causing him any trouble. She isn't someone he needs to work with. If anything, she is just another person now. She doesn't affect him or his life. To think about her is meaningless. It serves no purpose.

He doesn't care about her. She means nothing. She's just another stranger. 

Oh, so this is about her, Kaveh's voice rings in his head. You're too embarrassed to face her! 

Great. Now imaginary Kaveh is here. But, thankfully, logic is Kaveh's worst enemy. 

And Al Haitham has a lot of logic.

Ok then, Kaveh, Al Haitham shifts the railing with more vigour. Let's say I am embarrassed. 

You are!

Then what would I be embarrassed about?

Well, about the whole fainting incident! You made a fool of yourself right in front of a total stranger!

So? I'm only a human being. My body has limits that I'm not ashamed of.

You know that's not what I'm talking about.

Oh? Whatever do you mean?

About the whole crying and-

Nope. Al Haitham immediately cuts his internal debate with imaginary Kaveh short. He is not going to think about that now. But of course, you can never stop racing thoughts. Particularly ones provided by imaginary Kaveh.

Don't wanna think about it?

I've already gone through that with myself yesterday.

And what did you find out? That you-

That it was simply tears of relief, Al Haitham lies. In regards to getting good food and rest. A natural human response.

Ha! Yeah right-

Imaginary Kaveh is interrupted once again by the sound of shifting behind Al Haitham. It must be her. Waiting for him to say something back.

Well? Turn around and talk to her!

Why should I?

Unbelievable! Not even going to thank her for helping you?

He knows he should. He wants to. But his voice isn't working. Plus, he can't even turn to face her.

I wonder why.

It's because I'm inspecting the railing. Boats in Sumeru must pass the Sumeru Maritime Port Authorities' safety check, and one of the basic-

It's just a loose railing, and you know it! You're fiddling with it as an excuse to not-

More shifting behind him. What is she trying to do? A quick glance to his left tells him the answer.

Hey, you idiot fungus. You're blocking the entrance to the seating area!

Shit, Kaveh is right. Imaginary Kaveh, that is.

Stand up and move!

Wait. But wouldn't it be weird to just stand up and move? Without saying anything else? That would imply that Al Haitham was paying attention to her but not speaking back. Wouldn't that be strange? Rude, even?

Oh, worrying about weirding her out? And since when have you ever cared about niceties?

Shit, imaginary Kaveh is right. Again. This isn't like him. At all.

Ugh! If you're not going to move, at least say something! You're making her feel uncomfortable!

Say what?! Why don't you suggest something helpful for once?

I don't know? It's your conversation! Not mine! Just ask something! Anything! Before this whole situation becomes too awkward beyond repair!

In a haste, much to imaginary Kaveh and Al Haitham's absolute horror, Al Haitham's mouth decides to go off on its own and ask the most stupid, brain-dead question.

"...You're also heading back to the village?" 

Oh, Archons.

Al Haitham shifts the railing from left to right. Maybe if he does that enough, by some scientific principle that he has not come across yet, it'll be like a lever, and time would rewind and-

When I said to ask anything, I meant something like "Slept well last night?" or "Were the toiletries I bought for you sufficient?" not whatever you just asked.

"Ah! Yes," she replies. "I, uh, live there." 

Great. Now she thinks you're an idiot, you idiot.

What kind of question is that? The answer is obvious. So obvious, that Al Haitham feels the need to redeem himself. A prickling sensation on his face spreads from his cheeks all the way up to the tips of his ears, and Al Haitham uses a hand to try to rub it away.

Archons, even asking what her name is would have been a better question than that!

Enough yapping! How can I fix this?

Al Haitham can't believe he's asking Kaveh, even if in imaginary form, for help. But desperate times call for desperate measures. And Kaveh-like problems require Kaveh-like solutions.

Well, start off by actually turning around to talk to her! Even imaginary Kaveh is surprised by his request for advice. Ask her what her name is! That sounds like a good way to kick-start a less awkward conversation. And save this whole interaction.

But I don't want a conversation. I-

Do you want her to feel even more uncomfortable than she probably already is?

With a deep sigh, Al Haitham tries to compose himself. Willing away the heat in his face, he stands back up. His knees ache a little, but he ignores the pain as he turns to face her but-

"I'm just going to head in first!"

And there she goes, bolting towards the now unobstructed entrance, leaving Al Haitham alone on the deck, momentarily stunned by her sudden departure.

She's barely two steps into the seating area when the ship rocks. Al Haitham catches his balance with practised elegance, but unfortunately, the same could not be said for her.

With a loud thud, she crashes into the ground as the boat begins to turn.

"Are you alright?" all earlier thoughts disappear from Al Haitham's mind as worry fills the gaps. Rushing over, he kneels at her side, watching her as she turns around with a hiss.

"It's fine." she winces, turning over before extending both legs.

"Your left ankle is starting to swell," Al Haitham mutters, comparing the size of her ankles through the straps of her sandals. "A sprained ankle."

"Well," She shifts to sit upwards. Leaning over, she takes a closer look at her ankle. "It doesn't look as bad as it feels."

"It may soon if we don't take care of it," Al Haitham shifts closer to her ankle. "May I?"

When she nods, he gently removes her footwear. Looking around the seating area, he frowns as he realises the absence of a first aid kit. That means no cold compresses or bandages.

"We'll have to elevate it," Al Haitham mutters. "Let's move closer to the benches."

"Ah, ok," she kicks her right leg inwards she pushes her weight onto it as she tries to stand. "Well-"

The boat wobbles, and she nearly falls again. , Al Haitham catches hold of her arm, steadying her.

"That isn't going to work," Al Haitham states before she could thank him. "Sit back down."

She does so, giving him a questioning look. Gently moving her legs so that her knees are outstretched and bent, he hooks an arm under her knee and uses the other to support her back as he stands.

"Woah!" her arms begin to flail.

"Calm down," Al Haitham moves his face away from a hand that nearly hits him. "Just- put that arm here."

"Where?"

"Shoulder," he huffs as he bounces her to secure his hold around her. "Hold on."

The boat rocks, but the Acting Grand Sage doesn't seem worried about falling. In fact, he walks on as if he's on flat ground. All while carrying you.

He gently places you down on the floor next to the nearest metal bench before kneeling next to you again.

"I'm just going to put your leg up here," he assists your ankle up on the bench. "Leave your ankle like this."

"Thank you," you murmur. "I'm sorry for the trouble."

He sighs, heading back towards the entrance to retrieve your sandals. You can't look at him as he walks back to you.

This is so embarrassing.

It was bad enough that things were already so awkward. Oh, Archons. You've already made a faux pas earlier at the deck. Now with this? He must be furious.

Then, in a move that proceeded to stun you- and honestly scare you a little he sits down.

On the floor.

All the benches around, and he chooses to sit on the floor with you.

"No need to thank me." the Acting Grand Sage releases another sigh as he relaxes his shoulders, leaning on the side of the bench beside yours.

He then pulls out a book from somewhere behind his cape and begins to read.

"Would you…prefer to sit on the bench? I'm sure it's much more comfortable there."

"It's a metal bench. It'll feel just as hard as the floor."

Again, another curt response.

Biting your lip in shame, you feel a heat roll up your cheek.

"Acting Grand Sage, I just want to apologise for-"

"Al Haitham."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"My name," he shuts his book, turning his head to face you now. "It's less of a mouthful compared to that. And you are?"

Name. Yes. You can give that.

You tell him your name, trying your hardest to keep your voice as stable as possible. You really don't want to embarrass yourself further.

He repeats your name with an almost contemplative tone. He said it softly, compared to the surrounding noises of the ship. But it's the only sound that fills your ears.

"You have nothing to apologise for," the Acting Grand Sage- no, Al Haitham says. With yet another sigh, he continues. "It's actually me who has to apologise."

"What do you mean?" you frown. You don't recall him doing anything wrong.

"I," he pauses, placing his book aside as his hand rubs against the back of his neck. "I'm sorry if I've made you feel uncomfortable."

He shifts slightly, fidgeting with the ends of his cape.

"I also have to apologise for getting you into this mess," he goes on. "And for not thanking you for helping me back then."

"There's no need to thank me for that!" you answer. "And there's no need to apologise as well. Everyone has been kind to me. This was all a misunderstanding."

And just like that, the awkwardness is gone. Instead, a soothing silence envelopes the space between the two of you. You finally get the courage to glance at him, and now that you're relaxed, you notice something a little strange about his attire.

He isn't wearing anything different than yesterday. But the cape-

His cape!

"I passed your cape to Cyno when I got to the hostel," you say, voice laced with worry. "Did you get it?"

That cape looked expensive. But more importantly, you don't think you'd be able to show your face to anyone ever again if you lost the Acting Grand Sage's cape.

"I did," you let out a sigh of relief. "Cyno passed it to me yesterday."

"Did you work through the night?" you ask.

"Yes. I managed to finish everything by dawn, so I went back home to rest before heading out again."

"At dawn? So you did work through the night then!" you huff. "You have to take care of yourself! If not, you'll pass out again."

"I was well rested after I fell asleep at your place."

"You did not fall asleep. You passed out!"

"Well, it was rest either way."

"Then, did you at least eat the wrap we gave you?"

He stills. Suddenly, the chatty vibe between the two of you had disappeared.

"I," he breaks the stillness. "I ate a little bit of it. On the way back to the Akademiya."

He looks a little guilty, but you let it go.

"I'll take your word for it."

Another silence fills the air. You wiggle the toes on your left foot. It aches, but not as much as before, thankfully. But it'll still be a pain to deal with on the walk back home.

"Did you rest well last night?" he asks, breaking the silence again.

"I did," you recall, thinking about that room you were given. "Do all Akademiya students live in rooms like that? Everything was provided!"

You had thought a student hostel would have only the bare essentials, like a bed, wardrobe and a desk. But in the room you were led to, everything you could have possibly needed was there. Soaps, room slippers, sanitary pads and tampons, and even snacks!

"…Yes," he stretches his neck. "I'm glad you got a good night's rest."

"You should get one too, you know?" you say, turning to face him. "Your friends are worried about you."

And they really are. To the rest of Sumeru, he may just be a temporary authority figure. But to Kaveh, he's his housemate and closest friend. And to Cyno, he's his rival and fellow comrade.

"I know they are," he shares. "But we all have jobs to do."

He looks up, out of the window, far out into the blue sky. It's a sunny day today.

"We should be back at the village in about an hour's time."

"Well, why don't you go get some rest then? I'll wake you when we arrive."

"Thank you." He gives your ankle one last look, making sure nothing got worse. Leaning his head back onto the side of the metal bench, he closes his eyes.

You pray to the Dendro Archon to make his dreams sweet as you watch sleep take him away.

"Did you get it?"

"I think so?"

"Oh, it's blurry! Let me try!"

"Kaveh, wait! Don't lean on that or-"

For an architect, Kaveh is surprisingly terrible at guessing the relative structural integrity of objects. This is why the boxes Kaveh thought were stable (and then proceeded to lean on) come falling down, much to Cyno's dismay.

Naturally, the shopkeeper was furious about Kaveh destroying a whole batch of new wares. Kaveh had racked up quite the bill (which Cyno feels will end up being paid for by Al Haitham), but-

"But it's all worth it. Look!" he gloats, showing Cyno the printed picture.

"Well, would you look at that? Told you this was a good idea!" Kaveh continues.

Well, Archons be damned.

Cyno isn't one who would usually follow Kaveh's pranks or ploys. But if it's going to keep producing results like this, he may consider calling Tighnari to join in on the fun.

"Told you I would be able to get them on the same boat," Cyno smirks, handing the photo back to Kaveh for safekeeping. "What now?"

"Now, we wait," Kaveh takes one last look at the photo, admiring their handiwork before shutting it together with the kamera inside his briefcase. "And when he comes back, oh, it will be fun."

Little did these two know what they have started.

Join the Taglist!

#al haitam x reader #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham genshin impact #alhaitham #al haitham #genshin x reader #genshin impact #hereandnow

[xenokattz]

My brain is running with Kermit flail in 17 different directions and so list

FIC: finished

Kay Nicté: Nashuri AU, no powers, porn with plot & feels & family dynamics; Shuri doesn't want to go to a resort on spring break; she has way too much critical, life-or-death work to do in the lab. Ch'ah Toh doesn't want to go back home to his cousin's resort on spring break; he has way too much respect for his culture to sell it out to tourists. One mezcal tasting flight later, they can't seem to keep their hands off each other. Or any of their other body parts either.

<5000 words

The Pearl That I Carry in My Heart: Nashuri, Attoye, big damn post-canon fic, world building. The Elder's brows furrowed. "Am I understanding you correctly, Princess? That your suggestion for strengthening our alliance is arranged marriages between our available tribal leaders and theirs?"

Shuri smiled, a forced twisted thing. "Not quite, Elder. My suggestion for strengthening this alliance is an arranged marriage between K’uk’ulkan and me."

>100,000 words

FIC: in progress

Beautifully Created: Attoye, canon divergence AU, kidfic, world building, what do you call it when you start with smut and end with smut but the whole wide middle is angst and politics? Wakanda already knew about Talokan when Namor made his ultimatum thanks to information from Okoye. Attuma would like to know how she got that information and why the queen & princess seem to hate his guts when he's never met them before. 50% finished --read on ao3--

Kiss Me by the Fence Rails: Nashuri, AU modern day. Shuri is a brilliant engineer who just Does Not Get dating. She wants to get better at it and at sex in order to finally shoot her shot with her high school crush. She asks Namor, an equally brilliant architect, to help her out with all of that. He's her brother's business partner so he won't try anything shady, he's dated lots, and deep inside under that cranky exterior he's a good guy. Simple and easy, right? <5% finished --read on ao3--

FIC: planned (in no particular order)

When It Rains, Leave Me Alone: Attoye, companion piece to The Pearl, angst with eventual HEA but first make them hurt: Okoye, daughter of the Border, former general of the Dora Milaje, Midnight Angel, Head of Security of the Kingdom of Wakanda. She has reached the highest heights as well as the lowest lows possible in her career. W'Kabi, who she had once thought of as the other half of her heart, has chosen exile over their marriage and admission of treason. Her undeniable attraction to General Attuma could add further fractures in the already tenuous Talokan-Wakanda summit. All the while, she also needs to protect Wakanda's people, especially Princess Shuri, who seems to be determined to break her own heart.

Transcendence to Endure: Nashuri, prequel within a sequel to The Pearl, mildly angsty babyfic for all, history of Talokan world building, TW: pregnancy/delivery trauma. Péepen Xail Almehen of Xel-há and Yzniquanto of the Iréchikwa Tzintzuntzani navigate a world slowly burning from the invasion of the Conquistadores. Shuri kaRamonda, Black Panther of Wakanda, and Ch'ah Toh Almehen, K'uk'ulkan of Talokan, navigate eleven years of marriage.

Wholly, Thoroughly, Completely, Drowning: Nashuri, Attoye, AU Canon divergence. Talokan & Wakanda have always known about each other. When T'Challa got sick, Shuri asks for Namor's help. In return, he wants her to stay in Talokan for a year and help undo the damage he perceives T'Challa made when he opened up Wakanda.

Para Siempre: Attoye, AU modern day, no powers. Megapop star, Okoye, is burnt out from back to back to back touring plus a very public divorce from hip-hop star, W'Kabi. One of her longtime security personnel, Attuma, suggests decompressing at his family's little hotel-resort in the Yucatan during the off-season. Please stop, I don't have time for all this help

Untitled Bridgerton-style Black Panther AU: Attoye, Nashuri, AU no-colonisation alternate history, alternate powers. In an alternate history 1800-ish, Princess Shuri of Wakanda, of the Transafrican Alliance travels to Talokan of the League of the Mayapan in order to cement their alliance against the European powers encroaching on both their lands. For protection, she and some of her entourage disguise themselves as shipmates and servants while General Okoye and some of the kingsguards dress as tribal leaders. K'uk'ulkan, halach uinik of Talokan and de facto leader of the League, asks his highest ranking nobles to look for possible spouses among the visiting Wakandans to tie their kingdoms by blood as well as treaty. Lord Attuma, nacom and favoured cousin of the K'uk'ulkan, agrees to court Princess Shuri. But the woman he escorts off the pier is not the princess. And the real princess has her own agenda on this diplomatic visit that promises to wreck all the Feathered Serpent's plans.

Untitled Single Dad Namor + Dr Shuri: based on a fanart by @milkfromcats, Nashuri, AU X-Men style mutants, TW: refugee experience. Namor has lost almost everything in Mutant Purges and the trek to get safely to Wakanda. The most important thing in his life now is taking care of his sisters' children, Namora and Attuma. But he has no idea what to do with kids, nevermind traumatised orphans. Shuri is a brilliant doctor and privileged to have the funds to volunteer her time with the influx of newcomers to Wakanda. Every one of them is wonderful but she has a soft spot for Attuma and Namora, who often visit with lopsided braids and sugar-stained tops, tugging their exhausted father along. His love for them tempers the tragedy etched in his face and she can't stop wanting to ease his exhaustion.

Untitled Sequel to Beautifully Created: But I can't explain it yet because spoiler

Untitled Nakia Time Travel Fic: At the moment Talokan overwhelms the Sea Leopard, with the outcome of the battle between Shuri and Namor to be determined, Nakia finds herself thrown overboard. But instead of drowning, she wakes up several weeks in the past, to the morning Queen Ramonda asks her to find her only living child, kidnapped by an unknown hostile force.

Untitled Bucky/Sarah: Something Something feral WinterBucky finds Sarah somewhere between CATWS and Civil War.

NONFIC

School: stop writing, idiot, it's finals

Scholarship/bursary applications: n/a for now

Garden: n/a plants are asleep

Work: streamline lab manual

#nashuri #attoye #black panther wakanda forever #shuri x namor #okoye x attuma #namor x shuri #attuma x okoye #Talokan #fan fiction #when we stress we make lists

[eriexplosion]

5 6 7 10 for Star Wars violence 👀

OKAY TIME FOR THE VIOLENCE (I don't know how actually violent these opinions are but pretend I am Very Vicious)

5. Worst blorboficiation?

sdfsdifj REGRETTABLY... OBI-WAN.... I love the man but fandom characterizations definitely show some Popular Guy Character Syndrome where it's all about how sad and tormented he is and while I respect that as a lover of tormented men, it is certainly an experience when you're like, reading a CodyWan fic and Cody is comforting Obi-Wan through his tragic past like he's never gone through anything difficult in his life. Also some of Obi-Wan's fun edges are sanded off, he's more generically sassy but considerate of others feelings and kind, etc, and like. He's not UNkind. But this is a man that faked his death and did not tell his emotionally unstable best friend like that was going to do anything but drive Anakin absolutely batshit insane. He watched like ten clones in a row die without a reaction and then the instant a Jedi died they all had to stop for a funeral. He tried to get Luke to kill Vader WITHOUT telling him who he was. He's kind of an idiot and can be kind of an asshole. Let him hurt people's feelings! Let him be socially inept! He is a dipshit not a harmless weep blob!

(This ties in with my desire to see CodyWan fic where they straight up get in a fight but is not ENTIRELY connected to that)

6. Opinion on canon and/or fanon use of the secret child trope? Discuss.

It works for Luke and Leia and I think it should have stayed at that. I'm not a big fan of the Palpatine reveal for Rey but I didn't want her to be a Skywalker either, sometimes you want a main that is Just Some Guy, doesn't need to be a secret child of anyone. In fanon I just REALLY do not like it, partially because it's plugging in a blood relation where it doesn't need to be. The other part is that I have mostly seen it for Obi-Wan and Satine with that Korkie kid and with how utterly repressed those two are at each other I refuse to believe they ever successfully fucked.

7. What is the weakest piece of canon writing?

It feels like cheating to say the sequel trilogy mostly because I never finished it so a thing that I definitely finished and loved but makes no sense - AOC is not the strongest movie but ROTS was like, fully just a series of cool scenes stitched together to approximate a movie. And don't get me wrong, I adore the prequels. But the only one that I think succeeds as a Movie is TPM. ANAKIN'S FALL ESPECIALLY IS NONSENSICAL AS SHIT. Like the underlying motivations are there but they were not pieced into anything resembling a coherent narrative. You have a start point, an end point, and everything in between just kind of jumps around with I think the weakest point being the Tusken Massacre - it's treated more like a sign of Anakin's potential darkness than anything when like. That's a whole village. He killed a whole village and it never comes up again! Lucas apparently didn't consider it that big a deal!

It's to a point where I actually think the massacre can't be addressed from a fully in universe perspective, because there's no actual way to twist it around so that it makes sense for that not to be enough to Make Anakin Fall without breaking the already very loose rules of the universe. Most other Star Wars points I can figure out some kind of justification for how it works in world, but to explain how Anakin wouldn't fall here you just have to kind of confront that Lucas is both not a very good writer and also approached the Tuskens with an incredibly racist viewpoint given that he doesn't appear to see their deaths as fully Counting, unlike the Jedi younglings in ROTS. It's a plot choice that, if treated with the full weight it would narratively deserve, completely unravels the entire rest of the series, the only way to make the storyline of everything else WORK is to take it out or change it so much as to be an entirely different scenario, and I can't think of any other things that fuck it up THAT bad.

10. What’s a ship you've unwillingly come around to?

I think 'unwillingly' is overstating it (but then I rarely DISLIKE a ship, so there's usually not much Unwillingly about it) but I thought Tech/Phee was cute at most until everyone started being Like That about them. Now I want them to kiss and get married onscreen. I hope that she hits that every night. Phee deserves whatever she wants.

Also Anakin/Padme probably counts because I did not actually go into the clone wars watch WANTING to love Anakin but Whoops. WHOOPS. So that meant I got An Affection for the two of them in all their messy stupid as shit glory.

#Eri Answers #star wars

[scripted-downfall]

Jensen in DA is SO GOOD. Alec is my bebe and I love him. He deserves better. Even that proves how good of an actor he is.

I also feel Jared puts Jen down whether intentionally or not. Jen would not be caught dead really insulting Jared but Jpad seems to wear it a badge of honor if he can get Jen flustered.

And don't even get me started on the prequel thing.

That's something I don't think I can ever forgive.

He's not a toddler and depression doesn't excuse bad behavior.

And Jared is the golden child of the cw and I think it's bc he's a spoiled brat. He gets what he wants bc he knows they need him.

Idk. I just hope either Jen goes off at some point or that Jared gets what's coming to him. I'm waiting for his in Icarus moment.

Jensen's going places. Jared has no future outside of Daddy cw.

-Actor

Hello again! Sorry for the delay; it was Very Late when we were speaking earlier, and I didn't see your notification come through before I was conking out for the night :) It was nice to find waiting for me though!

And yes, absolutely; Alec was an awesome character, and I cannot stress that enough! He was done unfortunately dirty by the situations on set --- now that is an irl situation that I've heard a lot about --- but I really liked what they were able to produce in spite of that. I loved the friendship that developed between him and Joshua, especially (though it'd be nice if that X-5 from his past missions had been able to stick around for longer, so he wasn't quite so isolated). Also, though it isn't saying anything about Alec, per se, I loved 'Pollo Loco'; it was one of the few s1 episodes I really enjoyed.

I will be the first to confess that I don't know as much as others about Jensen's and Padalecki's irl interactions, but I've seen a number of clips from conventions and the like, and I've had the same impression. Given that these were just clips I came across looking at neutral tags on Tumblr, the fact that a random sample of these all left me with the same impression definitely tends to suggest that there's a statistical prevalence for that kind of behavior. Additionally, those bits I have seen --- his tantrums on Twitter, his thing about "anyone could have played Dean", being negative towards Misha (e.g. calling him a servant "jokingly" when he brings Jensen a beer, etc), and --- lest I be called biased again --- even the non-Jensen-centric bits of vitriol I've seen on Padalecki's social media.

And. The prequel thing. I feel like that speaks for itself.

As for the rest, I think it's probably easiest just to say that I agree (and I can feel the stans readying their keyboards for more threats, so keeping this brief is probably a good idea). We'd been talking earlier about the pride before the fall, but I like your term: Icarus moment. And yeah, for now, Padalecki's at least treading water. Maybe that'll last for a while --- especially given that he has an entire army of people willing to fight for him, for some (not so) unknown reason --- and, if it does, I guess I congratulate him. Fooling a large number of people is, after all, the main job that an actor's supposed to accomplish and, personally, I can't help but feel that he's managed it to some degree. After all, convincing this many people he can act is an impressive trick!

#answered asks #scripted downfall asks answered #anti jared padalecki #acting anon #hey so breaking news #jared fans? you don't have to be here! #like... it's almost as if I've tagged these posts! #with words that tell you they're anti! #*intentionally*! #*so you can avoid them!* #i'm not gonna say dni because you're just gonna ignore it anyway #but come on folks #don't act like i'm targeting you here #i gave you everything you needed to avoid it

[fangeek-girl]

My very biased review of the Ahsoka finale

This might thread down the unpopular opinions road. It's all right. That's what opinions are for.

Let me start by saying that I didn't like most of the finale. I had a grand total of 2 scenes I enjoyed: Ezra reuniting with Hera, and the very end scene with Hayden (shocker, I know).

I didn't like most of the show in general, mainly because of the whole clusterfuck with Sabine being trained as a Jedi. I hate it deeply because it undermines Sabine's worth. She was already a great character. She didn't need to be made better or more powerful by becoming Ahsoka's apprentice. She didn't need to suddenly develop Force-sensitivity. The cool thing with Sabine was that she was NORMAL. Yes, she was a Mandalorian and skilled with blasters and explosives, but she was a regular person. She was a non-superpowered human in a galaxy where heroes were known as having superpowers. That's what made her so interesting in Rebels. And this whole season she was at her best when she switched back to what she knew: guns and bombs. Her best scene in the finale (imo) was when she crashed the ship and took 2 TIEs with it. That's who Sabine is.

I'm also mad at how little information we had on Baylann and Shin. They were depicted as the main villains in the beginning, but we never got their back story. By the last two episodes they're discarded to make room for Thrawn, which I understand, but we still don't even know who they are. What's their story? Where did Baylann come from? How does he know Anakin? How did Shin come to be his apprentice? And the worst part is we won't ever get clear answers because Baylann as he was in this season cannot be in the next due to what happened to Ray Stevenson. So this is just a loose thread. And the way it ended doesn't give me hope for Shin either.

Midway through the show it feels like Filoni had a shift and stopped caring about this being the Ahsoka show and just making it a setup for his Thrawn movie. And I hate it. I hate when film and showrunners make what should be a stand-alone (in a previously established universe) into a prequel. It's the crap Marvel did and now Star Wars is trying really hard to copy that. (Yeah I know, it's Disney. Pisses me off all the same.) This show was called "Ahsoka" for fuck sake! And by the end, it was the Thrawn show. We had an entire episode (1x06 Far, Far Away) without Ahsoka in it, except for like one scene in the beginning. Can you imagine a Kenobi episode without Obi-Wan? An Andor episode without Cassian? It makes no sense! It's the same kind of bullshit they pulled with BoBF when it became The Mandalorian s2.5 halfway through. Yes, it progresses the overall story, but in a way to set up something else instead of focusing on your main character.

In the same vein, I hate how Jacen was set up in the beginning, then discarded, how we never even saw Zeb and Agent Kallus, how Hera just became the way to tie Ahsoka back to the New Republic, how Senator Xiono could have been a good antagonist but ended up being an asshole without substance... There were too many things set up for a show this short and most of them ended up fizzling into nothing.

Now, I did like the Anakin parts. Yes, that's because I'm a Hayden stan through and through. Put him anywhere in the GFFA and I'm a goner. The World Between Worlds scenes were absolutely phenomenal, and probably why I'll rewatch this show again. Sorely because of Hayden (although Ariana was incredible too in the TCW scene). His Anakin brought this whole show to another level. No shade to Rosario, I love her. But this show didn't do her justice. Especially not next to Hayden when they had them sparring. The rest of the show I was disappointed in all of her fight scenes because how can I believe the girl who trained under Anakin Skywalker is so slow? They, probably without realizing it, built her up to fail. And it bothers me because we know from the animated series that Ahsoka is amazing in a fight.

I also appreciated the zombie troopers. The rest of the Dathomir storyline is a bit muddy and I'm not sure I love it, but I guess I just have to wait to see how they try to make this fit post-Jedi Fallen Order/Survivor.

I don't even know where I'm going with this by now. I just... I wish this show had been different. The ending is kinda making me cautiously excited for Thrawn. (But only if they bring in the Chiss Ascendancy and Eli. I need my Thranto fix in live action, thank you very much.) There's also all the little easter eggs of Mortis that make me wonder if they didn't pull a Lost and they're all just dead (which I would respect a lot more than whatever else they seem to be building on).

In the end, I am deeply disappointed in what the show ended up being. Apart from a few moments, most of it was "meh" at best for me and I mourn what could be if Filoni stopped trying to make all his female OC the biggest badass that ever was and one-up one another.

#Ahsoka spoilers #unpopular opinion #Star Wars

[aparticularbandit]

I was exploring thecreaminhiscoffee - because I'm autistic and I'm going through a Roger Rabbit phase and I love how you write Jessica - and I found your headcanon that Jessica and Roger's relationship isn't entirely healthy. Was that just a detail in your role-playing universe, or do you think the same thing about the movie canon? I ask because many other WFRR fans see Roger and Jessica as "couple goals" and "so cute" and "so wholesome", and I was curious to hear a dissenting opinion.

I assume you mean this headcanon? (Sorry, I have a lot, and it has been. a really long time since I've been super deep into them. I have to go back and find things to remember what I wrote. XD)

That particular headcanon would probably be specific to my personal portrayal of her built of the backstory and history I've given her. It doesn't necessarily have to be true of every interpretation of Jess; it would highly depend on how other writers build her history, what sort of history they give her, etc. (For instance, if I remember correctly, the history she's given as Jessica Krupnick in the script for the prequel/sequel that ended up not being made (for good reason) does something entirely different - but that's based on a Toons are born, not made theory which runs counter to the Toons are made, not born theory I went with (although - you're reading headcanon, you know that Toons can be born, but it's more complicated, especially when considering all the Nonnie Montgomery stuff; it's...another topic that we're not getting into, that's not the question, I'm getting distracted. XD Also this is not even getting into the book, which is a whole other animal.)

...which, actually, is kind of - I'm not using the book as a touchstone, but it does. influence. how I think about. the characters. sometimes. XD

But, like, if we're speaking from a strictly canon sense - and it's been a while since I've seen the movie, so I'm going off of memory and that. bulk of. headcanon and what I remember about it - even in canon, I wouldn't say their relationship is completely healthy? Healthy relationships rely on communication, and there's a lot of miscommunication between the two of them? Jessica is literally being blackmailed into cheating on Roger because he would be thrown out of the business if she didn't? (Patty Cake appears to be code for Toon cheating for Roger and their particular relationship, so. Using that term.) And like, sure, yes, that's a kind of love to do anything that you need to do to take care of your significant other, but like. Maybe in a healthy relationship Jess would have had the conversation with Roger about what was going on instead of just doing the thing? (To be fair. Roger would tell her not to do it, even though it would kill him to not be working, and then Jess would probably do it anyway, which is also not very healthy.)

Jessica, in the movie, does a lot of I'm going to do all of this on my own and not ask anyone for help at all (with the possible exception of asking Eddie to help her find Roger) and just does not explain herself to anyone either, although she tries with Eddie. This may be an example of people wouldn't believe her (Eddie certainly doesn't). It might not. Even with her devotion to Roger, there's a sort of...unhealthiness to it?

Loving him isn't wrong! Loving him to the point of doing things that hurt their relationship because she thinks it is all on her to take care of all the things on herself is...not.

(Then again, you can make the argument that if she'd had any of these conversations with Roger, he wouldn't have been able to keep his mouth shut, but, ah, that's another thing.)

EDIT: I feel better speaking about my personal portrayal vs. the movie canon, even though mine was originally built from the canon? I can speak to her, but the movie is. open for interpretation? It is. complicated. ><;;;;

#musings #chrysalis the butterfly #jessica rabbit #roger rabbit #who framed roger rabbit #sorry it has been #a while #since i've seen it #and gone deep into my headcanon #so this may not be #the answer you're looking for? #i can speak primarily to my jess and how her love for roger is unhealthy #and why #and her dependency on him #i think i remember headcanoning that they were codependent which is NOT healthy #and my headcanon /does/ start with the source material #but also gets influenced by how i wrote her and how i've been writing her #and how willow used to write roger and how we wrote them together #but even writing my jess with another roger #it wouldn't have been healthy on her end #i think with my jess - based on her specific combination of issues - it's incredibly hard for her to have a healthy romantic relationship #with ANYONE #just based on her experiences #i think the closest she got was MAYBE with scully and even that was strictly speaking heading into affair territory which is #NOT healthy #but the impact of roger and her relationship with him and her desperation to die after he did just #on her side #it's not healthy

[goddess-aelin]

This is going to be such a long post but I feel like I need to get my thoughts out after the angsty ending from A Light in the Flame.

Overall Thoughts:

Umm I thought it was amazing. I know a lot of people were saying it was repetitive and I definitely get that but at the same time, I would literally read 600 pages of Nyktos and Sera eating breakfast so.... Anyway though, I loved the character journeys. I think good characters are what makes a good book and even if the rest is confusing and angsty, it's those character-driven moments that redeem it.

I've said it once and I'll say it again. This prequel series is so much better than FBAA. Not hating on FBAA but I just feel like Nyktos/Sera is so much more well-developed than any relationship in the main series. I love every single side character (yes, even you, Rhain, when you're being rude).

I was hooked from the beginning. How can you not be when it starts with the whole prophecy thing and continues from there with almost constant action. The first half was definitely repetitive, I can totally see that. But I also think that repetitive-ness helped to get the point across that Nyktos cares about Sera. Not the embers, but Sera. Even before they had any convo about forgiving her, I think his actions were speaking louder than words. Though it was a constant battle of "Sera, no." *Sera does the thing.* "How dare you not value your life. *Fucks* Ya know, the usual. Lol. Some of my new fave sera/ash scenes came from this book.

- I adored when he set up a bath for her and everything- it was such a sweet gesture.

-When he took her to the pool and literally just played and had fun, especially because he knew she missed her lake.

- The "I want to be your consort, Nyktos." and Nektas just laughing and knowing.

-The way they both are always stunned by each other. Like they do such sweet things and they are always, ALWAYS, surprised.

-The entire scene of Rhain asking her if she was in love with him and her not being able to answer because she had no idea what it felt like either.

-Her whole breakdown in the carriage because "Oh my gods, I might be in love with him!" Loved every minute of it.

- And then of course, him trying to get her to breathe and calm down when she was about to freak out over this.

-THE FOREHEAD KISS AT THE CORONATION WHERE EVERYONE CAN SEE AND HE DID IT JUST BECAUSE HE COULD. I die

-The sweet but angsty talk about Veses that they needed to have tbh.

**Nyktos is literally the ultimate book BF, I said what I said. It's honestly refreshing to see this 200+ y/o male character that has like no sexual experience whatsoever yet it doesn't demean him or negate him as weak. Love that for him.

Non romantic scenes that melted/broke my heart:

-Sera holding Jadis when she fell asleep and Jadis feeling comfortable enough to switch into human form.

-Reaver then getting the blanket for Jadis and just being a weird little kid. I love it.

-Jadis giving a kiss on the forehead to Sera before going to Kolis. Sera's gonna be such a good mom even if one of her children is a giant piece of shit.

-Ector trying to calm Sera down in the carriage and just talking to her.

- The friendships with Aios and Bele and pretty much everyone just finally forgiving Sera.

-Ugh going back to see Ezra! I needed more sister love tho tbh. They didn't even hug!

Now for the painful parts:

-Aios dying. Like wow. This 100% is number one. I was devastated when Sera saw Ector's decapitated head. But then she saw Aios' red hair and I literally almost threw my damn book. I'm so happy she's ok in the end but RIP Ector.

-When Sera saw Nyktos with Veses. I know we got an explanation for it in the end but I was incredibly stressed and about to unstan Nyktos. I hate cheating (even if that's not what it was) as a trope and tbh I hate miscommunication as a trope. So this entire part of the book was just devastating to me.

-Sera's reaction to the above. She was in love with him already, she just didn't know it. I felt her reaction so viscerally, though. I suppose that's a testament to JLA's writing in this book.

-Sera constantly being told that she's going to die and there's nothing that can be done. Just when they think there might be another way, nope it's just death again. I love that Nyktos is fighting so hard for her and I have some theories that I'll make another post for, but I do find it very ironic. The entire situation was Sera was meant to make Nyktos fall in love and then kill him. Oops except he can't love. And now instead, she's the one who fell in love and now he has to kill her to literally save the world. What a 180. A fabulously done 180 but a shocking one, nonetheless.

Another post will be coming about theories!

#alitf #a light in the flame #alitfspoilers #alitf spoilers #fbaa spoilers

[elympios]

Was sorting through my Zestiria merch and remembered I own the ufotable lineart books for TOZX and yeah there are still nice things in a vacuum to like about TOZX tbh. It fails as an adaptation and it fails as a standalone story, but it is still quite interesting for what it chooses to create anew.

Even though I don't think the anime used it very well (and it does have like way too much of a "suffering for humanity's sins" vibe) I liked that Sorey purifying malevolence basically puts him through what caused that person to become malevolent, and I definitely preferred that method of exposition to the Earthen Historia (which, yes, I know Berseria also did it and made it more streamlined, but in an anime adaptation that sort of fetch quest would not work).

If Alisha had to leave the party because of Sorey's blindness I definitely prefer the manga's take on it where she has more agency in doing so, but ultimately I still prefer Rose and Alisha's storylines in TOZX to what they get in the game because the focus is better placed on them having conflicts to deal with, especially actually treating Rose's murder thing as murder.

(Sure, we know she vets targets and has good intentions, but why should the party believe her when it's been established you can think you're 100% right about something and not generate malevolence.)

And I like that Alisha takes part in the final battle. I ~know~ there's a point to her staying gone in the game/manga but I'll take my silly power of friendship cheesiness in non-canon adaptation.

Like don't get me wrong, TOZX is a disappointing adaptation for sure, but TOZX wasn't a prequel or a sequel so if I wanted more of Sorey and Mikleo, game/manga canon was still there... Whereas we didn't really get much of Rose and Alisha interacting that way outside of the DLC.

Honestly I was just kind of "filling in the blanks" during most of TOZX imagining that the party were doing their usual party things while the focus was on Rose or Alisha, and you kind of have to when very little in TOZX feels "earned" through the continuity of that adaptation, you basically need to care about the characters via what you know about them from the game, but it's still nice to me to be able to see in some sense "what could have been".

(Hence, TOZX didn't have to be a faithful adaptation of Zestiria, but it was also not a good story as a standalone experience, so I imagine first-time audiences were very confused and existing fans were. well.)

But even if Eizen going back to normal was sudden (in an ending that was already over-the-top happy with everything neatly resolved), even if dragons can't be purified and they do it anyway, it's still a heartwarming thing in a vacuum, like how the Epileo and Sorey hug is still sweet even in TOZX continuity it's actually pretty fucking depressing confirming that Sorey is still human.

Like yeah, TOZX is a bad adaptation and it doesn't work as a story on its own either, but there are still small details I really like. I would have preferred an adaptation that was more faithful to the game lore, and I feel like they wasted a lot of money on it and probably should have just adapted Berseria instead since interest in Zestiria was dying already with Berseria's release, but for what we got it wasn't completely worthless.

Or maybe it's just because, to me, any adaptation is just free fanfic inspo to me and I just take the parts I like and ignore the rest.

#like im still mad at asteria but it's over now and i can just steal the premise of violet eyed elle surviving with victor! #i haven't seen much about tozx since i returned to zestiria fandom in 2021 but what i have is basically always negative and that's fair #but idk maybe it's because i already see flaws with zestiria's game story and i'm already nitpicking canon details to keep there #which is basically how i handle x2 because like. you just know they did NOT think it through #so to me it's really not that big of a deal that the adaptation is extremely unnecessary #tozx #zes #v #i don't have a negativity tag we're all gonna have to live with this

[wingletblackbird]

Is it just me, or does Obi Wan Kenobi seem to get a free pass on a lot of unacceptable or dubious behaviour? Everything from disrespecting his superiors (he argues with Qui Gon in public in The Phantom Menace and he's quite rude to others), to outright war crimes in The Clone Wars series. All these seem to get either ignored or excused, when they wouldn't be for other characters. Any thoughts on this?

I've sat on this ask for so long trying to exactly articulate my thoughts on this. It's just so complicated. I mean, you're not wrong, but what I've come to conclude is that it often seems to matter which corner of fandom you spend most of your time in. It's not a one-size-fits-all, but I have noticed that pro-Jedi people tend to view Obi-Wan as their beloved. Meanwhile, the more Jedi critical crowd tend to be a lot more critical of Obi-Wan too. It depends on where you are looking.

I figure this makes sense. An important part of Obi-Wan's character is his deference, respect, and reverence for Yoda, the Council, and the Jedi Code. So, if you are pro-Jedi, you are naturally going to be more pro-Obi-Wan, aren't you? I find the horrible things the Jedi do are handwaved away by, "The Senate made them," "they were lied to," or "it was a rock-and-hard-place choice," and so on. The same logic gets applied to Obi-Wan. He is the victim. The Jedi are the victims. Therefore, they must be the good guys 100%, because they are targets by the bad guys. (The irony, of course, is that I think many of these arguments could be applied to Anakin. Literally everyone in the prequels is a victim of Palpatine in some way.) Conversely, people who are more Jedi critical tend to also be a bit more critical of Obi-Wan.

As a result, I cannot say that Obi-Wan does always get a free pass on his dubious behavior. It really depends on which corner of fandom you find yourself in.

I do scratch my head sometimes on why some people seem so rabidly pro-Jedi and almost seem to turn Obi-Wan into a saint. I think it is partially because this is what the narrative encourages, if you do not sit with it and think about the realistic implications. Even more so, if you are not a death of the author sort of person. I’ve noticed, in TCW especially, that they beat you over the head with Vader foreshadowing which is even unwarranted sometimes. But if all you’re listening to is the music, why would you think on that further?

Mind you, GL has made it clear that the Jedi were meant to have become stagnant. He wanted to show how we give away our democracies. He also wanted to show Anakin as a victim. I don't think we were ever supposed to consider them completely virtuous. However, GL also seems to have made it clear that he supports Jedi taking kids from their families and forbidding contact. He seems to support this toxic no attachment stuff. GL has also been dismissive, imho, of the legitimate trauma Anakin and the other Jedi kids went through. I'm of the opinion he needs to crack open a book on basic psychology. (Maybe one on philosophy too.) As a result, people can and do say that the Jedi did teach Anakin everything right and he just didn't listen, and since Obi-Wan is the obvious teacher here...

Then, there is the simple fact that since Anakin becomes Darth Vader some people think that sympathizing with him, (and the pain he experienced under Obi-Wan's tutelage) means you somehow condone what he does. It doesn't. Thus, Obi-Wan becomes the poor victim. Fandom sometimes thinks it is wrong to criticize characters they see as victims, same as they do not like to say a villain is sympathetic.

Since, Anakin and Obi-Wan are narrative foils in many respects, I guess it sort of becomes natural to make Obi-Wan the saint and Anakin the sinner. Obi-Wan and Anakin become pitted against each other narratively, and I guess in fandom it has messily divided that way too.

It's complicated. *shrug*

#Obi-Wan critical #Fandom stuff #honestly #I think if there is anyone in fandom who is granted sainthood status it is Bail Organa

[cinemaseeker]

Let's Review: Lightyear

*THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS*

Guys, let's just be honest for a second.

This is essentially Toy Story 5, or maybe Toy Story 4 1/2, disguised as a kid-friendly version of The Martian.

Let me ask you all a question I always end up asking myself every time an unnecessary prequel or origin story comes out, especially a Disney-sanctioned one:

"Did I really want to know how (blank) became (blank)?"

Nine times out of ten, the answer is usually "No".

I feel like filmmakers and storytellers are forgetting that we don't always need to give every popular character an ultimately flimsy or shoe-horned origin story that inevitably ends up only ret-conning or diluting what we loved about that character to begin with. Part of the fun of universally beloved characters is that they are universal, which requires a form of vagueness and negative space that allows them to be left open to interpretation in order to appeal to as many different types of people from as many different backgrounds as possible.

Take the Joker for example.

The best iterations of that character either forgo an origin story altogether or create one that works with what we already know about the character, and then shows a (somewhat) straightforward trajectory of how he become the killer clown we all know and love today, i.e. The Killing Joke.

These types of characters, surrounded by this enigmatic air of mystery, are usually the most memorable and fascinating to us specifically because we don't know their origin story, and it allows us to fill in the blanks for ourselves and make the character feel like our own. By relinquishing this kind of creative control over to the viewer/reader, filmmakers and storytellers can relieve themselves of a tremendous narrative burden while helping their characters last longer in the collective minds of our popular culture.

So in a sense, a good origin story is not unlike a good plot twist.

Both work best when they answer questions and fill in gaps. And both fail when they leave us feeling more confused and poke more holes in the plot, thus ultimately sinking it.

If you want to read more, there is a great article that relates to this debate, especially when it comes to origin stories that try to make iconic female villains likable (ew) and sympathetic (double ew), and I highly recommend giving it a read:

Now don't get me wrong, this doesn't always mean that I don't enjoy origin stories. An origin story, like any other story, can be good when it is done right (just look at The Godfather Part II) especially when the creators approach the project with care and passion.

But oftentimes these origin stories are used by big corporate studios so that they can squeeze every last drop of profitability out of a character and their franchise, especially if it's a flagship figure from which the entire foundation of the studio was built upon. For example, New Line Cinema is known as the House that Freddy Built due to the success of Freddy Krueger in the original A Nightmare on Elm Street movie, which help launched the then-fledgling studio, not to mention countless sequels and spin-offs. But over time Freddy Krueger became more of a mascot than a threat with each entry, not unlike Buzz Lightyear for Pixar.

The character of Buzz Lightyear is kept largely intact here, thanks in large part to an earnest and believable performance by Captain America himself Chris Evans. And before you say anything: no, Tim Allen does not voice Buzz Lightyear here, and I for one think that's for the best. It'd be too distracting and it helps the movie try to stand on its own, except for when we have to slog through all the obligatory Toy Story callback shots, recycled lines, and every they-did-the-thing moment, and Lord knows there are plenty of those here. But here's the problem: leave them in, it's too faithful to the original to the point that it's basically copying and pasting; but if you leave them out, then it doesn't feel like part of the franchise, so why bother having the name on it at all. Either way, we lose.

But anyway, the change of voice could confuse younger kids so keep that in mind. During the screening I went to, a child insisted that this guy was not the real Buzz Lightyear.

But here's my biggest gripe with the movie.

The opening text of Lightyear declares that this movie we're about to see is the same movie Andy saw back in 1995, his favorite movie that inspired the Buzz Lightyear toy from Toy Story.

On the one hand, this disclaimer is a good way to get away with including kid-friendly sci-fi elements such as robot cats (I would live AND die for Sox), time travel, and alien lifeforms in an otherwise realistic-looking space movie.

But, excuse me for a second, I have to call bullshit here.

Do y'all remember what humans looked like in the Toy Story world back in 1995?

Yeah. Pure nightmare fuel with soulless soul-sucking eyes.

Now, in an incredible feat of gaslighting, this movie expects us to believe that THIS:

came out at the same time as THIS:

Lightyear is clearly a 2022 movie, with 2022 visuals and 2022 values, but it's trying to pass itself off as a 1995 movie and in that sense it fails miserably, aside from a few clever 90s-era callbacks (blowing on the navigation assistant IVAN like its a N64 cartridge and the computer boot-up sound). But this "framing device" (it's really more like a disclaimer) is ultimately a flimsy hall pass used to justify this movie's existence.

If they really wanted this setup to work, then they should've either fully committed to the 1995-ness of it all (stylizing the animation to fit the era like what Turning Red did for the early 00s, thereby matching the aesthetic and zeitgeist more earnestly) or make it a proper 2022 movie that could claim to be based off an astronaut who could've served as the basis for the Buzz Lightyear toy in that universe in the same way that Buzz Lightyear is based on (or at least named after) the real-life Apollo 11 astronaut Buzz Aldrin.

It feels like Pixar is trying to have their cake and eat it too by trying to give us the nostalgia of 1995 but without losing the advantage of being relevant, whatever that means.

But I would like to point out that Disney has already made a vastly superior Buzz Lightyear spin-off that is truer to the essence of the character and their world in the form of both the direct-to-video movie Buzz Lightyear of Star Command: The Adventures Begins (2000) and the criminally underrated Saturday morning cartoon TV show Buzz Lightyear of Star Command (2000-2001). They both match the spirit and tone of the Toy Story universe and serve as a much better spin-off than Lightyear, with funnier jokes and more unforgettable characters. Hopefully Lightyear can help turn people onto this show (please put it on Disney+, you cowards).

Quick side bar: I used to be OBSESSED with this show, like getting-up-at-ungodly-hours-to-watch-this-show-before-the-existence-of-YouTube level obsessed, especially with NOS-4-A2 the energy vampire, voiced by Craig Ferguson. Yes. THAT Craig Ferguson. BLOSC had a whole slew of awesome celebrity voices, including Patrick Warburton as Buzz Lightyear. PLEASE check it out and give it the love it deserves.

P.S. This NOS-4-A2 came out 13 years before the Joe Hill novel NOS4A2 and 19 years before the AMC series adaptation. Just saying. The people need to know.

OK, I need to stop, otherwise I will geek out and never stop.

So with all that said, the question you'll probably be wanting me to answer now is: "Should I see Lightyear?"

My answer, perhaps surprisingly, is "Yes."

Because even though Lightyear may go down in the history books as being lower-tier Pixar, that level is still above most other animation studios at their best. It's quite a feat for a studio that even their less-than-stellar offerings are still oftentimes better than most other animated movies out there (for the most part).

Okay, so what's the good stuff?

The first thing that comes to mind is, naturally, the top-notch animation. It's nice to see Pixar take this approach to character design, steering away from the typical disproportionately big eyes we're used to seeing in Disney movies, trying to make the humans more like real people while still giving them plenty of expression. And in all seriousness, there are some beautiful shots to be found in Lightyear, not just photorealistic but beautifully lit shots of space and sunsets (there's even a cool 2001: A Space Odyssey-style stargate because of course there is). I don't know if an animated movie can even get nominated for Best Cinematography, but I would sure love to see them try. And with computer animation getting more and more realistic every year, I suspect it's only a matter of time before that feat is accomplished.

And, rest assured, there will be plenty of Pixar moments that will make you, if not outright cry, then at the very least get teary-eyed. This is seen most effectively when *MAJOR SPOILER COMING UP* Buzz finds out that every trip he takes to try and get home results in him losing 4 years, during which time his friend and fellow Space Ranger Alisha Hawthorne (Uzo Aduba) continues to age, so every time he sees her she's either getting engaged or getting pregnant or watching her child graduate and essentially living her life without him, up until she dies of old age while he's away, and he doesn't even get to give her a proper goodbye in person. Now THAT's good storytelling. This sequence is expertly handled with tender loving care and really hits you in the feels (okay it's not quite as good as the first 10 minutes of Up, but come on, very few things are).

But most importantly, we get to see this unfold with a canonically queer woman of color in STEM.

In that sense, Lightyear takes one small step forward in term of mainstream queer representation, a step that's still not big enough to get very far but one that is definitely bigger than previous steps taken before it (I'm looking at you, Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness). We get to see a major supporting character, Alisha Hawthorne, marry an Asian woman named Kiko, have a family with her, live a long and happy life, and even share an onscreen kiss with her wife that we actually get to see. It's sad that we still have to get excited over crumbs like this, but hey, suck it homophobes, love wins.

You could argue that Alisha becomes a fridged character whose only purpose was to serve a white man's story, a white man who gets to lead an otherwise pretty diverse cast, as if to say "don't worry, white guys, you still get to be the hero." But I would argue that Alisha is given enough of a likable personality and life outside of Buzz, albeit still viewed through Buzz's perspective, to avoid making her a background token black sidekick. If you were to take Alisha out of the story, the movie would be radically different.

The rest of the supporting cast is not exactly ground-breaking but they do get enough character development to help them avoid being totally forgettable, at least for a little while. I especially love the detail of Izzy, Alisha's granddaughter (voiced by my girl, rising star Keke Palmer), being a Space Ranger who's afraid of the vast vacuum of space (girl, I feel you). She also does a great job of underscoring the main theme of learning to embrace mistakes, especially our own mistakes (man, that message really hit me where I live). Finally, as far as villains go, this Zurg gets the job done, but the reveal of who's really behind Zurg is just too good to spoil here. Or, at least, I didn't see it coming.

But I think it's very telling that the best character in the movie is a robotic cat.

I'm just saying.

This is why we can't decide whether or not animated movies are for children or adults. You put a realistic-looking guy into space and give him a life-or-death mission in a story that most younger kids won't be able to follow, but we still need some sort of adorable (preferably animal) sidekick that we can turn into plushies and Happy Meal toys.

But, again, I would live and die for Sox.

The worst thing you can say about Lightyear is that it's a standard animated movie, one that I'm not even sure will properly entertain really young kids, unless they REALLY love Buzz Lightyear, but I think even that would be pushing it. But if you have an older kid or preteen who likes Buzz Lightyear and science, preferably a young girl of color looking for role models in STEM, then this could fit the bill. I bet that this would be a great movie to screen for science camps or middle school science classes.

Lightyear shows how, even if computer animation has come so far, dare I say, lightyears ahead of what came before, good Pixar-quality storytelling can get lost in space if it's not tethered to a strong enough base.

Now all we need is a gritty western spin-off starring Woody and then I'll be happy.

This is Cinema Seeker, signing off.

Thanks for reading!

My Rating: 2.5/5 meat-bread-meat sandwiches

P.S. There is a mid- and post-credits scene, so be sure to stick around for that if you're interested.

And for all you name nerds and prospective parents looking for cool baby names, here's a complete list of the Production Babies, listed in the credits as Future Space Rangers:

Ame, Anaïs, Anthony, Clara, Cora, Dean, Devon, Elan, Emmeline, Evren, Henry, Izumi, Jade, Luca, Mabel, Maggie, Mari, Matias, Mia, Mikayla, Otto, Rami, Sean, Simon, William, Zi-Ran

#lightyear #buzz lightyear #to infinity and beyond #chris evans #uzo aduba #keke palmer #taika waititi #dale soules #disney #pixar #disney pixar #evil emperor zurg #zurg #star command #buzz lightyear of star command #toy story