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thepurplewombat · 6 months

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Character headcanon ask: LXC + JGY!

Okay, so it's finally cooled down enough that my computer has stopped making distressed noises whenever I turned it on, PLUS! we even have power for a few hours today, so here goes:

Lan Xichen

Sexuality Headcanon:

I'm gonna be honest with you, I don't give a lot of thought to characters' sexuality, at least not in terms of having headcanons for them. In my head, LXC is probably some flavor of bi, except that in practical terms, he's A-Yaosexual.

Gender Headcanon:

I think I've read one fic where LXC was actually a woman - not in the sense that he any flavor of trans, at least that was not the impression I got, he was biologically and emotionally a woman, but he was presenting male because of Political Reasons, and I thought that was quite interesting. But in general, I think he's a cis male.

A ship I have with said character:

Oh I don't know, I just don't know, who could I possibly ship the incomparable First Jade of Lan with - it's Jin Guangyao. Like, I'm not going to say that xiyao is canon and everyone who disagrees is wrong (even though they are) because everyone is allowed to be wrong on Beyonce's internet, but any version of Lan Xichen that isn't in love with Jin Guangyao is a Lan Xichen who is so wildly out of character to me that I just don't know what to do with him.

A BROTP I have with said character:

I think he'd get along really well with Jiang Cheng as friends - like, among the reasons that I don't think they work as romantic partners is that I think Lan Xichen would find being in a relationship with JC utterly exhausting. As a romantic partner, you feel somewhat responsible for managing your partner's moods, in a way that you don't necessarily feel the need to do in a friendship. I just think that the distance of a friendship would give him the opportunity to enjoy Jiang Cheng's cunty tendencies and temper, while not making him feel in any way responsible for managing Jiang Cheng's moods.

A NOTP I have with said character:

That being said, Jiang Cheng is not actually my NOTP for this character. I remain convinced that chengxiyao is a viable ship that just needs the right story to take off, and I'm sure that if I were to read a really good x!cheng fic, where Jin Guangyao is not demonised or erased, I would probably enjoy it.

No, my NOTP is Nie Mingjue. Mainly because I think he's an abusive jerkweed who reminds me of both my murderous ex and my late father (although to be fair to the Great Old One, he never tried to kill me) and I don't think that someone who is incapable of understanding that maybe other people have different priorities and points of view, is a good fit to be in a relationship with anyone who doesn't precisely share his values.

Oh and also Nie Huaisang. Just no. NOPE.

A random headcanon:

Not long after the end of canon, Lan Xichen disappears from his house of seclusion and is never seen again, because he's given the entire jianghu the middle finger and fucked off.

General Opinion over said character:

When I finished the book he was my favourite, and I was initially drawn into thinking more about Jin Guangyao because I was looking for stories where Lan Xichen has a happy ending, and a lot of the time, a happy ending for Lan Xicnen requires a happy ending for JGY as well. In the months since, he's been somewhat supplanted by JGY - it's not that I love him less, it's that I love JGY so much more (send help I am genuinely unwell about Jin Guangyao).

More general opinion - I think Lan Xichen should have the opportunity to go absolutely feral.

Jin Guangyao

My lovely boy, my sweet cheese, my rotten soldier, I love him so much.

Sexuality Headcanon:

I mean, canonically he loves both a man (LXC) and a woman (QS) so, bisexual?

I do think he has a complicated relationship with sex, because of his mother's profession and his father's...everything, but I think that like most of his traumas, he pushes it into a box and never ever thinks about it.

Gender Headcanon:

I think that when he was a small boy, his mother went on her knees every day and thanked all the gods and ancestors that he was a boy, because at that point she must have still hoped that JGS would come for them.

So I don't think that JGY has ever actually thought about his gender beyond 'thank the gods I wasn't born a girl'. Like, he could never allow himself to even consider anything other than being a man, because he was his mother's son, you know?

A ship I have with said character:

Xiyao. They're just so *clenches fist* I love them, your honor. Like, they just so obviously love each other - it's more obvious in CQL, but it's not exactly subtle in the novel either, and I just...my heart breaks for them and I love them so much.

I can also be convinced about Chengyao, because I think that Jiang Cheng and Jin Guangyao have got some things in common, and the ways in which they differ are very complementary.

A BROTP I have with said character:

I think that he and Wei Wuxian could have been great friends, if the stars had aligned properly.

A NOTP I have with said character:

Obviously it's a free internet and everyone can do what they want, but personally I can't ship my blorbo with someone who tried to murder him three times and hated him so much that even without knowing that JGY had killed him, he became a fierce corpse and escaped the grave to come after him. Just nope.

A random headcanon:

I don't think that JGY would have left the temple that night. I think he was genuinely trying, because at base he's an engine of survival, but honestly I think when push came to shove and he had to leave Lan Xichen and never see him again, I'm not sure he would have done it.

General Opinion over said character:

I love him. he's my favourite character in MDZS, and he's near the top of my list of all time favourite characters.

#Wombat answers asks #wishthefish #Jin Guangyao #my favourite son #meng yao #maybe he did commit some atrocities #but have you considered that I love him #Lan Xichen #LXC #My favourite son-in-law #best boy lan Xichen #a deeply fucked up but unfailingly kind individual #not a himbo #he just drank his Respect Meng Yao juice

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jingyi-ma-boi · 13 days

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Yunmeng Twin Heroes' complicated dynamics

So, my tags in one of the last posts I reblogged got a little out of hand and were long enough to deserve their own post, cause, even if I was commenting on other people’s meta and headcannons I ended up 'writing' my own. If you click on the link, you'll see that @featherfur's post was all about the post-canon chengxian feels of seeing the changes in each other while not being able to directly participate in each other's lives. Go read that. It's a bit long, but it's worth it. The angst of seeing somebody you love(d) being so similar yet so different from what you remember, and thinking knowing that you do not get to be a part of their lives like you'd want to hits just right.

However, I don't think that level of 'deep yearning to be able to love each other like they once did' is everything there really is. To me, there’d be a point in post-canon where they do feel like that, but they would resent each other often and even feel something akin to hate as well whenever their feelings regarding everything that has happened in canon got too much to bear.

Now, you can go on reading what I think their emotional journey towards reconciliation would be like, or you can just skip to the end, where I’ve put a TLDR. You’ll get the general idea but if you want to dive into the complexity of their feelings, keep reading (please, I’d love for other people to read and discuss this with me, or give their thoughts at least T.T).

We all know how JC feels about everything WWX has done and how he blames him. For all that the fandom pegs him as someone who doesn’t know how to express his feelings other than through anger, he's actually pretty aware of them and lets himself experience them (although not in a healthy way, re: being angry most of the time). Meanwhile, WWX has always been incredibly detached from his emotions —that's why it takes him so long to realize he's been in love with LWJ since their teens— because 1) he's been raised to think that his value lies not on him as a person, but on him as a protector that has to right all his wrongs to everybody around him because of filial duty, life debts, and class differences; and 2) he doesn't think he deserves feeling them, as a result of that.

And although I'm all for the chengxian feels and the fluff of Yungmeng Jiang' bros reconciliation, (really, I love that trope) I don't see it happening organically.

Listen here, I'm talking from personal experience. You can feel enormous amounts of longing, missing the closeness you once had with someone who hurt you deeply, and resent that person at the same time. It seems obvious, but it’s the kind of obvious thing that needs to be reminded. In a situation like this, you can, and will, get bursts of anger at that person for everything they did and everything they didn't do. You hate yourself for missing them because you have all the right to be angry at them, and disapointed and sad, and you shouldn't be missing them nor contemplating the possibility of going back to how things were once. You can be glad to see that they are doing well in their new life and be jealous that it is not you who they're sharing all these new experiences with, while you're watching awkwardly from the sidelines, letting the guilt from the swarm of contradictory emotions eat at you, because at the end of the day it doesn't matter how you feel. What matters is the facts. What you did. What THEY DID.

I see JC going through a mix of less complicated emotions at first. After canon, where he scowls at WWX with anger at first, the underlying pain gains a new companion. A feeling of sadness that drives JC to avoid WWX in the same way that the latter’s pain and guilt drives him to avoid his shidi. WWX, on the other hand, would take the longest time to let himself feel more complex and contradictory emotions. He might even get stuck on that guilt and not let himself feel the anger, disappointment, and resentment towards JC that he has always buried deep inside if things at Cloud Recesses stay the same as ever and he and LWJ isolate themselves from everyone else while LXC withers away in his tormented seclusion.

(Here comes the important reminder that MDZS is full of parallelisms and as such, LWJ and LXC share the same complicated feelings that exist between the Yunmeng bros, even if the details of their relationships are different. I won't go further into the Twin Jades of Lan, cause they deserve their own post, but let it be known that their reconciliation is as unlikely as the Yunmeng Twin Heroes’. They’re totally related. Any advances in one of the pairs would positively reflect on the other and viceversa, that’s why it’s so difficult for them to avoid emotional stagnation.)

The key to WWX getting more in touch with his feelings would be in the changes brought forth by the juniors. LSZ and LJY would work through WWX's façade even better than LWJ does, cause WWX doesn't think them as biased. His two Lan ducklings would charge headlong into his emotional mess through gentle words (LZS) and earth-shattering remarks disguised as snark (LJY), and force help him through the mess of recognizing and sorting out those emotions.

Still, JC and WWX being aware of their feelings is not enough for them to solve things.

However, it might help them all to take a step forward and start acknowledging each other in a better manner. They’d go from having raw, more simple feelings preventing them to even wanting to hear each other’s name, to gradually being able to share the same space amicably. That doesn’t mean that looking at each other in the eyes or feeling each other’s gaze isn’t simply too much because it makes them spiral. This is the point where they’d yearn for this new, happier version of their brother, their emotions getting as complicated as I described at the beginning. But that's the most I can see them achieving on their own because they’re both so stubborn. They’re set in their own ways and it would take a huge external force for them to make the slightest changes (ie. golden-core transfer reveal and the little ducklings intervening to make WWX feel his feelings is what causes changes in their perspective).

Why do I feel like this? Am I allowed to feel this? How can I dare to want this when I can’t even forgive him? How could I ever forgive him? Would he ever forgive me? How is it possible that I still love him so much? Do I even deserve to have that with him after everything I did? And what about him? Am I ready to truly forgive him and trust him? Will I ever be? I can’t, I couldn’t even if I wanted to and it hurts SO MUCH! IT HURTS!

IT HURTS!ITHURTSITHURTSITHURTS IHATEHIMIHATEHIMIHATEHIM

WHYDIDHEDODTHAT!?!WHYDIDHEDOTHATTOME?! WHYDIDHENOTDOANYTHING?!

WHY DID HE LEAVE ME?!?!?

…

You see? After everything I’ve laid down, any of them could have this exact internal conflict anytime.

The thing is they are both more alike than they think. JL would see through their bullshit and be so frustrated with it all through the years. Already an adult and experienced sect leader, he’d understand but not completely, because he’d be the first to realize that nothing can compare to what they’ve gone through. And yet, he’d want them to talk and make up because he loves his maternal uncles so much. He won’t admit it to anyone, (LJY, LZS and OYZZ don’t need him to. it’s been years since WWX returned and JL’s already an open book to them), but he wants them to be happy around each other. To not feel so torn apart between them. He’d want an opportunity to have some semblance of the family that could’ve been and he will take any chance, as small as it might be, to achieve that.

Cue the junior-now-adult-quartet shenanigans. They’ve been seeing how every adult they love is miserable to some extent, and now that they’re adults too, they can and will do something about it. Cause hey, if they were able to bulldoze in and force WWX to actually feel his feelings, they can do this too! So now, their new goal is to get these two grown-ass adults to talk. Although technically, WWX is only a few years older, and a great deal more traumatized than them too. They’re aware of it. But they’d rather not think too much about it because they most definitely didn’t cry for hours on end after they got him to talk and started thinking about his life. And they most definitely didn’t attract attention when, weeks later, they finally grasped the scope of everything that their seniors had suffered when they had been even younger than they were at that moment.

LJY and OYZZ would be totally and completely over-invested in this. They’d scheme and help JL trace a plan for how and when to talk to each of them individually to subtly let them know how he felt. LSZ would use his power as heir and acting sect leader to stage the encounter among the three of them, securing LWJ’s reluctant approval after a great deal of convincing. And JL would trigger the conversation with a spontaneous outburst at his two uncles’ ridiculous yearning. They’d probably use a combination of WWX’s inventions and Lan techniques to lock them into a room, and force them to talk and have a truthful heart to heart, and they’d hope that after that, everything would be okay.

A LONG bout of silence later, they’d hear shouting and objects shattering and hitting the floor. They’d hear them fight, without sensing any spiritual or resentful energy of any kind, and LWJ would have to be stopped from dismantling the arrays and talismans in place just so he could go pounce on JC’s throat himself. The blows would soon be replaced with more silence, then soft murmurs. Sobbing. More yelling, and cracked voices. It’d be almost time for waking up the next morning when the arrays disappeared on their own. The doors opening to show the two brothers splayed on the floor next to each other, robes and hair disastrously askew. Holding their forearms over their eyes, barely covering the tear trails and reddened cheeks, their chests would be rising peacefully as they’d finally seem to sleep from exhaustion. LWJ’s eyes would get stuck on the way their fingertips touch ever so slightly. The ducklings don’t say a thing, but they’d totally stare too. JL would be the one to break the silence and tell everyone they should be going to sleep as well (and if LSZ and LJY see JL’s glassy eyes and a lone tear… no, they don’t).

Would that be it? Nope. Haven’t I said already it’s not easy? They’d have started talking and acknowledging that they both want the same thing, but it’s still not enough. They’d have to WORK for it. Hard. They would need to build a support system if they wanted to achieve the relationship they want to have. LWJ would have to start seeing JC as a person, and one that is able to give his Wei Ying the happiness he deserves, now that he’s at it. JC would have to start relying more on the other adults in his live. And it wouldn’t hurt WWX if he expanded his circle to include people other than his husband, his son, his son’s friends, and his undead cinnamon-roll of a friend.

In this way, they would be working on their respective issues to obtain each other’s forgiveness. They would face setbacks on more than one occasion, questioning whether it’s even worthwhile. This is the only way I see them regaining trust in each other.

The two of them mending their relationship without strong external factors would be OOC and unrealistic. It doesn’t matter if you’re going by MDZS or CQL canon. Although if we’re going by CQL canon, I don’t think they would ever go further than the ‘avoiding each other’ stage, and neither would any plot device help them do it. CQL WWX is very tame in the war-crime front and even though he’s just as ‘selflessly’ quick to put himself in harm’s way as in the novel, nobody can blame him for an attack that was clearly planned years before (most of the ‘facts’ stated on the novel turned out to be complete hearsay and/or senseless bullshit, this translates to CQL too even though if the censorship fucked a big part of this by drawing extreme caricatures of everyone). His misdeeds boil down to war crimes of varying moral weight, and not trusting people enough to include them in decisions they should’ve been included in, cause JZX and JYL’s deaths were caused by SMS.

And CQL JC is… not good. His decision to completely ignore the Wens even when he personally knew them and knew they had helped them repeatedly (first encounter in the Dafan Mountain and then, after the fall of Lotus Pier) meant he’s the only character to blatantly disregard a life debt, one he had to the Wen siblings. And on top of that, he still pulls the same shit that novel JC does after WWX returns, which makes him even worse.

Novel JC, on the other hand, took the right decision by not getting involved with the Wens. They were complete strangers, and he couldn’t risk the safety of the sect and the people of Yunmeng. He was powerless against the wishes and whims of the cultivational world cause that's how politics work. You’re forced to choose duty towards your people over your heart.

But let’s get back on track. I’ll make a full post on my view of JC as whole another time. The reason why it would be so complicated and they’d have to work so hard towards mending their relationship is that they would first have to realize that they cannot go back to how things were before. JC would need to recognize that WWX is not to blame for all his misfortunes and he’d have to apologize for all the fucked-up shit he does after WWX’s return. Psychologically torturing his 21-year-old brother with dogs while being a 34 year-old sect leader that has had 13 years to deal with his emotions was a dick-move of the highest category. And so it is the stunt he pulls right before the golden-core reveal at Lotus Pier. Yes, the golden-core transfer was sketchy but made complete sense. Yunmeng Jiang needed a leader and WWX was not fit for the role, not due to a lack of skills, but because it would’ve worked as badly as JGY given how the whole Jianghu cared only about birth status and nothing else.

This doesn’t mean that JC’s evil, WWX is the ultimate child-abuse victim, and that JC should never get close to WWX ever again (I’m looking at you, JC antis, though this whole post is also a call-out to JC apologists, cause he ain’t no innocent snowflake wronged by bad, evil /WWX/YLLZ). It simply means that JC has to claim responsibility. He also needs to see that just like WWX was abused, he and JYL were victims of the same abuse. They both need to come to terms with that fact and know that they had some sort of trauma-bond given that JC’s coping mechanism for enduring the abuse was reflecting that same abusive behavior on WWX. Yes, siblings who grow up abused often abuse each other as well, and/or end up enabling their abusers through a fawn response (this was JYL’s case).

TLDR; I love the idea of these two hot-heads making up and having strong feelings about each other. But the abuse they endured growing up, and the abyss it slowly carved up between them is something they both need to acknowledge and heal from before even considering the idea of mending their relationship. That, and the extend of the wounds they’ve inflicted on each other since WWX returned are things I don’t see them working on unless prompted by external forces. Their relationship is too complicated and nuanced for anything other than that being possible, which means that they wouldn't be able to forgive and trust each other unless some freaking major plot-event forced them to actually talk. That’s why I see their reconciliation as highly unlikely.

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truly-morgan · 10 months

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[The Lan headband]

XiCheng | Mo Dao Zu Shi Modern AU 03-04-2021

[#xicheng - modern]

What if Jiang Cheng knows that the Lans headband (modernised version of) is something important, but doesn't know to /which/ level it is important for them because Lan Xichen never told him (nor did lqr or any other lan). This is why he doesn't see anything wrong when lxc suggests he wear his (which is maybe more akin to a loose choker with a cloud pendant?) as a good luck charm and to help him feel calm his nerve at the next archery competition there families organised (including the llj and qgn family too).

jc is nervous to participate after a couple of years of not attending it, the pressure put on his shoulder by his mother to do better than wwx each time (and failing) being too much.

after years of not participating it is lxc who suggests he tries again, especially since now he doesn't always have his mother around to remind him to do better /all the time/.

So he accepts the suggestion of wearing lxh necklace since it has a weirdly calming effect on him, probably reminding him of lxh.

He casually arrives with lxh at his side, wearing the totally-not-a-choker very visibly around his neck. This causes various reactions from people around them.

Lwj: shoots a knowing look to his brother with a nod, probably knowing how his brother feels about jc

lqr: shocked that his nephew would let someone casually wear his "headband" like this, wondering if this is a declaration lxh is doing right here.

jfm & yzy: looking at each other, trying to check with each other if they remembered correctly what exactly this gesture /means/ from lxh sides. As jc something important to tell them?

nmj & jgy: both looking discreetly happy that their friend is /finally/ doing something and not just pining for the jc.

wwx: amused that lxh lets him wear his totally-not-a-choker the same way lwj lets him play with his headband (this probably cause lqr to nearly have a heart attack at the sudden information).

And all this time jc is clueless, stuck in a little bubble with lxh that is trying to reassure him that yes everything will be alright, they had been training together and he was doing really good when they were together. Plus they were here just to have some fun, he doesn't need to really try and compete against anyone else if he didn't want to.

It was only a couple of days after the competition (where he did pretty well for the first time in years) that nhs ask him about lxh-

necklace, finally telling him what it meant (knowing about it since lxh had explained it to him when he was younger). Pretty much that only family and their partner can touch it.

jc ends up a blushing mess, realising just now /how often/ lxh had let him touch it because he wanted to look at the cloud pattern on it or even let him /wear it/. He doesn't know what to do now that he even wore it /in front of lqr/.

of course, he's happy about it, because he may or may not be feeling more than friendship for lxh, but he still doesn't know what to do with something that sounded like a love confession, but an indirect one.

He asks him about it and only then does lxh properly confess to him, admitting he wasn't sure if he was feeling the same and that he was sorry for making jc uncomfortable about this. of course, jc has none of this apology, telling him that he isn't uncomfortable, but happy about it, confessing too at the same time.

They end up dating after this, jc being caught wearing his necklace more than once more because "it suits you and I really love seeing you wear it" managed to convince lxh a couple of times because he just loves seeing jc wearing it.

Original

#tweet archive #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #xicheng #lan xichen #jiang cheng #modern au #lan headband #fluff

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llycaons · 1 year

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ep15 (part 1): compels me though

starting off, sect leader yao gets such a bad rap in fics because he'a annoying/a symbol of mindless agreement with the popular opinion, but it seems a bit mean to me. the dude got really badly hurt to protect his guys

oh, wwx. poor sweet naive wwx. it's wild to think he once had faith that the JIN clan would be on the side of justice here

honestly I find this a very stupid pretext to get jfm out of LP. there is no need for him to personally go in such tense times, and no need for jyl to go with him

GIRL DISCIPLES! OH BOY!

myu in this episode is so fascinating to me. I don't think it's a stretch to say she genuinely cares about jfm even though she treats him like garbage. those two things can, and often do co-exist. she expresses her affection sideways because...what, she's embarrassed? because she's as emotionally repressed as adult jc is? because jfm would refuse it? he doesn't look very happy hearing that she's packing him something to help him. he looks resentful, if anything. man, this family is screwy

look at her being concerned and protective over her daughter! she may be villainized in a lot of scenes but honestly most fics I've read don't capture the balance between 'shrieking, cruel, bitter harpy' and 'genuinely concerned mother and wife'. the area between those two extremes is massive and I don't know that many fan works bother to explore that space without just redeeming her and pretending like she never did anything wrong, or saying 'deep down she loved them all so it's okay'. it's like they worry if they show a scrap of care or humanity then they're excusing everything else she did. but I don't agree. she has nuance but that doesn't mean she's not a horrible mother, and in real life it's not like (most) abusive parents are screaming criticisms and attacking their kids 100% of the time anyway

the way everyone talks about LP in this episode hurts me. 'our Lotus Pier" from wwx "my home" from jc "my Lotus Pier" from myu. interesting 😭

oh dammit. I talked so much about how the wens would have attacked anyway and jc and myu were wrong to blame wwx only for it to be a personal grudge anyway. fuck. well wen chao's actions still aren't wwx's fault and even if they were he did enough to pay it back tenfold

...which is probably the facts that jc has to grapple with post-gc reveal. fuck

so mean to him

ppl like to talk about jc protecting ww from dogs (and he does, in the past) and a certain type of fan seems to think that because jc used to be like this, it means he still is, deep down. he is not. by the postres inn scene with fairy, he clearly is not

I've said that jc never changes, but that's a lie. he becomes so much worse. I grieve for this kid

oh huh. wwx being trapped at LP isn't ever anything that's rly talked about in fics bc LP signifies youth and innocence and happiness and freedom but here it is. wwx suspects he's being spied on by myu too, which 😬

jc's panic and anger vs. wwx's cool, clearheaded response and reminder. jc is really not suited to leadership I feel so bad for him

THIS SCENE FUCKS SEVERELY. it's everything ramped up to 100. it's one of my favorite sequences in the show, and absolutely one of the top three non-wx related scenes. maybe the very best for me. the arrogance of this woman is breathtaking and if you know a thing about myu you can see where it's going

YOU SAID THAT??? MISS FORMER MAID??? YOU HAVE THE GALL TO SAY THAT TO A CULTIVATOR OBSESSED WITH BLOODLINES???

glaring at wwx OKAY way to make every convo about beating him down

obviously this is a really hard scene to watch and I always have mixed feelings on it bc on the one hand. obviously really upsetting. on the other, myu is acting to appease a sect that will destroy their entire home if not satisfied. she is not harming him permanently, and MAY be pulling her punches so the damage isn't as bad as it looks (tho arguments like 'he can walk later!' don't rly pull weight for me bc wwx walks off horrific pain all the time)

I don't think this means she secretly cares about wwx further than as a tool to keep jc/the sect safe (she needs him functional, after all), or that it means she's a good person, but it's a strategic decision that wwx understands and accepts because of the political situation they're in.

logically myu obviously uses zidian on wwx in other cases, because he talks about it, bc it's talked about enough that lwj knows about it, and because she didn't need to close the doors (implying it's a commonplace sight that nobody would balk at) but we don't actually see any of her whipping as punishment onscreen

and yeah he's bleeding from his mouth already so it's not like it was nothing

just fucking shoot me I guess. jc doesn't even know what's going on here does he? the others had to hold him back at the beginning too

and myu thinks this is it! she doesn't want to disable her top disciple, who she entrusts with her son's life! she doesn't want the wens to have that kind of power over her people in her domain. but like. I think it's pretty clear she would have if pushed to it. like she was ready for it

FORESHADOWING. ugh because of all the trauma you get it?

^^^ again, whipping isn't an uncommon occurrence

wwx is so good at adapting to situations he's already planning on training with his left. and he could have done it. I'm sure he could have. jc is thinking this is the end, he's ready to start begging. when he loses his core, he's ready to give up. but wwx always thinks beyond whatever horrible, world-ending situation is going on now. it's why his suicide is so shocking and powerful. he's never been one to give up, even through seemingly insurmountable odds

#cql re-rewatch

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ghcstchild-a · 7 months

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here goes the thing i've been putting off for a long time, the body image/sexual preferences meta (nsfw subjects under the cut, tw for canon non-con mentions) – this isn't too explicit, but just in case.

I will preface this by saying that most of this is going to be connected with this post I made ages ago, as WWX's upbringing shaped more than his general self-image. But there are a few things that have been on my mind since like... day one of writing him, so here are a few essential key points.

• upon his revival, he lives (forcedly so) in someone else's body. Someone he never even met looks at him from the other side of the mirror, and while he acts like he's fine with it, it's still a pretty wild concept to wrap his head around. It forces a distorted, new perception of himself as a) fragile (he's not that much smaller in height, but his power/energy/resilience is considerably more limited in this new body) and b) someone who's imposing or possessing this body that wasn't supposed to be his.

One of the most important parts of it is that his scars are gone, and with them some key moments of his life feel as if they've been erased (the Wen brand, the scar from the golden core transfer, the one JC left after their battle in Yiling). These events were so, so life-changing to him and he knows the reminders should be there but... they're not, and it often takes a moment to remember why, and causes a bit of dissociation in the process. Which goes away with time, but it's very prominent at first (remember that to WWX, those 13 years haven't passed; the trauma is still fresh, he's still mentally in his early twenties because he didn't exist throughout these years, while everyone else had the time to process things and maybe move on just a little bit he's just returned from it all).

It doesn't make him self-conscious in regards to his body (because it's not even his), but it kind of... complicates things nonetheless. And this is where I move on to the worst part of it.

• the r*pe kink. The first time I read the incense burner chapter it honestly... hit like a brick and I had some trouble processing wtf it even was, BUT, having read it again and seen some takes on it... it has every right to be there in that exact form. First of all, it's a shared kink, as it was LWJ's dream in the first place (and while I have some thoughts irt LWJ and the reasons behind it, I won't delve into it).

To WWX, being used is something familiar (see the post linked in the beginning of this rant). Being used sexually in a controlled environment by someone he trusts is, in a way, part of a dealing process. He likes that special kind of violence, when it's so rough it's borderline brutal, when the limits are pushed to the maximum. He can set up boundaries (which he does, e.g. the spanking thing), and naturally there's a healthy level of communication that goes into this so that it's about pleasure and not torture.

And yet a little part of him welcomes the violence because he still feels like he deserves it, for not being there, for screwing things up. It's yet another of his self-sacrificing habits, except controlled and experienced with someone who he knows would never knowingly abuse it. And it ties into the body thing as mentioned above because it's also a way to... chase some of that feeling of frailty and uselessness away, if that makes any sense? And the incessant talking (+ him being obnoxiously loud) is a way to say 'this is okay', it's him being quiet that is a sign that something's wrong.

That being said, he acts the way he does (his fake complaining about 'the abuse') because sometimes being loved so much feels overwhelming and frustrating due to the unfamiliarity of the feeling. He doesn't know what to do with it. With all those feelings he has, with all the adoration LWJ showers him with. What he does know (and also struggles to accept sometimes) is that he doesn't need to be a terrifying power not to be messed with for survival purposes anymore. He's safe. He's loved. He needs to experiment with being overpowered sometimes to feel more comfortable with not being so powerful anymore.

• since I tagged the whole thing as nsfw, might as well add a couple of things. WWX loves offering little acts of service in the bedroom and he absolutely adores messy, cathartic and emotional sex that isn't violent, and gentle love-making might drive him insane in all the different ways. Processing past trauma is difficult for both of them and sometimes intimacy is a good way to deal with it, to ground himself in reality through touching and melting into each other to the point where it's the only sensation there is and he remembers them and nothing else. He makes sure to worship every inch of his husband's body (kissing every damn scar is a must) to remind him how much he adores all of him, but sometimes he gets carried away and forgets about himself in it all.

Also not to get all freudian here but the man clearly has an oral fixation so do whatever you wish with that information. There's a good way to shut him up and LWJ knows it, and WWX knows it too.

#personals please don't interact #── * hc : a ghost behind the mask.#is this messy? yes #is this worth reading? probably not

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ninjakk · 2 years

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Hi, I really love your analysis and meta so much. The meta about the sandlewood scent is just so sweet.

I've just seen some put down lwj. They said along the lines like lwj didn't help wwx in his first life and just stand by the injustice. And they also said lwj and wwx ended up only because it is the end couple, and wwx didn't have any feelings for lwj in his first life and they go far to say how after meeting in Yunmeng wwx even said he met someone worse than jzx to jc indicating wwx didn't like lwj at all. I have lost for words after reading them.

I am really really sorry to bring them here. Since I enjoy and like your meta alot, I just think about you and wanted to know your thoughts on these.

Hi Anon,

Aww thank you so much 🥰 I'm glad you're enjoying my posts. I think the Sandalwood scene is one of my favourite sublet hints at WWXs deep feelings for LWJ. I'm glad you enjoyed it 🙏🏻

As for your question - first and foremost, fandom is unfortunately full of discord, you're bound to come across people who don't agree with you on some things. Try not to take what they say to heart, especially when their comments are unfounded and rather ridiculous in my opinion. Some opinions are of course debatable! And other opinions should be respected as much as possible - but some are just people trying to provoke a reaction sadly.

LWJ didn't help WWX in his first life:

This is simply not true. LWJ tried to help him in his own way, but because of misunderstandings his help was interpreted in the wrong way. WWX finally realises this later in the novel while regaining consciousness after being stabbed. Granted LWJ went about trying to help WWX in what could be considered the 'wrong way', and by the time he realised this himself, it was tragically too late. He was under the impression that the cultivation technique WWX was using was harming him both physically and mentally. He was just going off what he could see. He had a very limited point of view due to WWX hiding a lot of what happened to him - so he did the best he could under the circumstances. LWJ inviting WWX back to Gusu was his way of protecting him. And when that didn't work, he did the only thing he could and stood up for WWX and the Wens during the sect meetings he attended. He even went against his own sect and the cultivation world to help him in the end. He was willing to give his life to save WWX, what more could anyone do!

WWX didn't have feelings for LWJ in his first life:

I've posted so much meta pointing out this is totally not the case. It amazes me that some people can't pick up on it. As I've asked before - if he was paying all that attention to a girl, people would instantly agree he had a massive crush on her LWJ. There are SO many huge clues WWX is head over heels for LWJ in his first life. I didn't even realise it was a romance until I saw WWXs major crush showing through from the start of the novel. As for the comment about LWJ being worse than JZX - it's bravado for JC. He's just come back from seeing LWJ and is feeling very rejected, he looks upset and JC picks up on this. He didn't really mean anything by it. Not long after he said that to JC he is sat looking up at the stars and thinking about LWJ and their time together at the CR. He wanted to remind LWJ of the happier times they had. And let's not forget, he threw a flower at him to get his attention originally 💕🌸

WWX and LWJ only ended up together because they were the "end couple":

I mean, this is just ludicrous. It's quite an insult to MXTX as a writer to be honest. She doesn't just throw two people together just because. She masterfully creats a couple that are perfect for each other and blends their romance into her novels seamlessly. WWX and LWJ were quite simply made for each other, in every sense of the word.

Overall, I would pay no attention to the person making silly comments. Block them if they're upsetting you and move on my lovely. I recommend a dose of the Cloud Recesses chapters to cheer you up 🥰☁️🐇

#mdzs #wangxian #mdzs wei wuxian #mdzs lan wangji #mo dao zu shi #mdzs novel #ask anon #answered asks #I recommend a dose of Cloud Recesses chapters ☁️🐇🥰#wwx had feelings for lwj from the start

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praesaepe · 2 years

Text

ok so here's my Wen Qing Falls In A Hole canon divergence au where wen qing falls into the cave at muxi mountain with the rest of the indoctrination disciples and things turn out much better

this happens because wen chao is tired of her doing things that help wei wuxian, so the rope she's climbing up "accidentally" gets cut and she falls back into the cave

(wen ruohan will not be happy about this but will ultimately excuse it because it is his son)

everyone is like "ra ra we have a prisoner" except wwx and jc (and lwj by merit of being largely Stoic about it but also he sees that wwx trusts her and hes willing to follow his lead on this)

mianmian hesitantly puts herself in with the two of them because a) wwx just got fucking branded on her behalf, and b) she met wq at lectures as well and while they werent friends or any she seemed nice enough, for a wen. shes a doctor and helped jyl out after all.

jin zixuan is Unenthused but pulls back from the discussion because he trusts mianmian's judgement

wq is tired of this discussion and says "listen im not gonna do jack shit, call me your prisoner all you want, can we deal with the giant murderous tortoise in the room first? also lwj let me look at your leg ive been itching to get my hands on it for days"

wq looks at lwj's leg and wwx's injuries. no one else asks for her help and she doesnt offer it but mianmian does quietly thank her.

everyone else is sufficiently diverted away from the prisoner idea because jc looks like hes about to start biting people

they still need to deal with the giant murderous tortoise in the room

it goes similarly to how it does in canon, except:

no one is particularly interested in helping her leave the cave (she fell down a cliff, shes definitely injured and would need help) except for the noted people above, but jc, as the jiang heir, is the best person to lead them out through the underwater tunnel and get help, so when theyre separated from the main pack wq and wwx haul lwj into the little side cave

she tends to their wounds and helps them strategize how to kill it, sees the weird romantic tension, and goes to another corner to pointedly not touch that with a ten foot pole. she does let out the BIGGEST sigh when she hears wwx say "aaaah you like mianmian dont youuuu"

eventually they mcmurder the tortoise.

wq helps tend to their wounds and pokes at the sword a little bit and Does Not Like how much it reminds her of the yin iron wrh has. lwj frets.

wq does not care about his fretting. she is tired. she is stressed. she is hungry. she fell down a cliff earlier. her family might be in danger because shes no longer covering for them in nightless city.

blah blah time passes, jiang cheng rescues them, and then, bless his heart, he invites her to come back to lotus pier with them

fuck it. its not like she has other options. she cant go back because wen chao will accuse her of treason bcuz she could only have survived by helping the others, and that would definitely get her and her family killed.

besides, wei wuxian is still passed out and clutching The Sword and she thinks maybe its better to keep an eye on that.

flash forward to them being at lotus pier

maybe she made a wrong choice. madam yu is like. the fucking worst, and wq served under wen ruohan.

despite yzy's general lack of hospitality towards a wen, she warns the jiangs that wrh will probably make an attack on lotus pier. when yzy attempts to blame wwx (having heard what happened from the jiang disciples that came back with jc), wq very neatly cuts in to say that it was always part of the plan, along with the attack on the unclean realm and the burning of cloud recesses.

jiang cheng is hopelessly attracted to her. not that he wasn't before but like. hes absolutely reorienting all of his standards as she speaks.

jiang yanli is delighted by her presence and has inducted her into the long-suffering older siblings club and reassures her that wen ning and her family are probably fine. she finds every scrap of intel she can to give to wq.

The Attack On Lotus Pier

when sect leader yao shows up, jiang fengmian, heeding wq's warning (which yzy begrudgingly accepts because preparation cant hurt, at least), chooses not to escort him this time. he sends him to lanling a few disciples and instructs them to keep a low profile on their journey.

he is there when wang lingjiao storms in with the kite and tries to punish wwx.

he refuses to punish wwx the way wlj asks, trying to deflect to something else, which makes yzy angry. they argue until wlj makes a comment about unhappy marriages and says "itll be better here once we take over" and yzy turns the full force of her concentrated rage on the little upstart who thinks she can tell a meishan yu what to do.

the flare still goes off, summoning the rest of the wen forces, but with both jfm and yzy present, wwx not injured, and the preparations done because of wq's warning, they succeed in their defense

i think jfm and/or yzy should lose their core to wzl though. spice things up. jc and wwx get to keep theirs.

wen zhuliu fucking dies tho

"what about wen ning?" you ask. "and the dafan wens?"

after wq disappeared, wrh had no use for wn and sent him off with the rest of the forces - luckily, with the group sent to lotus pier. wn isnt a strong fighter, but is a decent archer and has some medical knowledge as a dafan wen.

the dafan wens are left to their own devices because theres no point in killing them to punish someone presumed dead, and at this point wrh still recognizes the tactical advantage of a family of doctors under his control. thus, theyre basically back to being treated as normal wen civilians, which i have no doubt is still bad, but they arent all being murdered indiscriminately

anyways when the attack on lotus pier happens, wn is among the attacking force, but slips away because he likes wwx and jc. he doesnt want to be here even more than his usual level of "i dont want to be here"

he still helps the wounded, though, but he doesnt distinguish between wen and jiang. he's helping a jiang disciple after the battle is over when a group of jiang disciples find him.

they bring him in with other prisoners and wq (who had been shoved in a room with jyl when fighting broke out) sees him pass by and attempts to yoink him from the lineup. jyl has to convince the disciples to let her take the two of them.

realizations are had, wen ning is brought to the main hall, explanations are made, joyful reunions abound

from there its all canon divergence. the sunshot campaign happens. wwx may or may not invent demonic cultivation, but it's by studying The Sword and how wrh's puppets work. wq agrees to aid the sunshot campaign but its conditional on getting the dafan wens to safety before wrh realizes she's alive.

she also stops a lot of stupidity and angst amongst the main characters by merit of not being afraid to smack them when they're being difficult. she, jyl, and lxc become besties, and she cottons on to jgy's weird vibes, which will prevent yet another cascade of bullshit cause and effect.

in conclusion:

#mdzs #wen qing #rk.txt #mdzs au #rk writings #i want to be clear for anyone seeing the title: she does not die in the hole #holes can be pathways to knocking sense into people who have very little of it <3

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rynne · 2 years

Note

Hello, can I ask something? I’d like to know your opinion on this. I’ve heard it said that WWX is the type to internalize blame, and JC is the opposite. Would you say there are parallels between JC and JGY with their whole “nothing is ever my fault I was pushed into this I have no choice” attitude towards taking responsibility for their messes?

Hi there! Before I get into the bulk of your question, there's something else I want to address:

WWX is not the type to internalize blame. WWX is actually remarkably good at not internalizing all the many terrible things that people have said to him.

Wei WuXian stood forward, accustomed to it. Madam Yu scolded, “You’re like this again! If you yourself don’t seek progress, then don’t drag Jiang Cheng along to fool around with you. You’re going to be a bad influence to him.”

Wei WuXian looked startled, “I don’t seek progress? Why, am I not the one with the most progress in the entire Lotus Pier?”

(Chapter 51, ExR)

Consistently, when people accuse him of things and he thinks the accusation is inaccurate, he defends himself. Here against Madam Yu, on Phoenix Mountain against Jin Zixun, at Nightless City before the fighting broke out, during the Second Siege...he faces a lot of people blaming him for things, but he doesn't just accept that blame, much less internalize it. He defends himself, then lets it go and moves on to continue being a confident person with healthy self-esteem.

There are some exceptions. When JC hits him in his feelings for LWJ, he has some wobbles. But he also gets over them and doesn't let them become a lasting part of his self-conception.

On the other hand, something he does do is accept responsibility where he genuinely feels responsible. We see that with his post-reincarnation reactions to being reminded of Jin Zixuan's and Jiang Yanli's deaths. Even though neither of them were fully his fault, he feels responsible, so blame for these can hurt him. But the distinction here is that the feeling of responsibility comes from him, not from other people imposing it on him.

Returning to your question about JC and JGY...there are some parallels there, but the attitudes are still different.

JGY does the "nothing was ever my fault I was pushed into this" thing. He does externalize blame to circumstances, to other people. But what I think he does do, and JC does not, is accept that other people can reasonably think what he did was wrong. He just comes up with justification after justification for it to make it so blame doesn't lie primarily with him. And underneath, he thinks that even if the actions are wrong, he is still right to do them because he's justified in doing anything he needs to in order to improve his circumstances or gain more power.

However, I don't think JC recognizes that he's done anything wrong at all, even from other people's perspectives, until his breakdown in the Guanyin Temple. He justifies things to himself so strongly that he doesn't think blame even lies with him at all. I think in large part this comes from having a convenient scapegoat since his childhood -- everything can be WWX's fault if he twists it enough, and he's so used to doing this that he doesn't even realizes that he's twisting things. That's why he called himself a clown at Guanyin Temple. Being slapped with the reality of the core transfer means that everything else is coming untwisted and he starts to see how ridiculous he is from an outside perspective. And even then, that's not enough for him to stop twisting things (he still wants to blame WWX for his family's deaths).

So I do think that JC and JGY are similar in that they'll find a scapegoat for their troubles, the internal process is still different. I think JGY recognizes that other people will think what he's doing is wrong (reasonably so, considering NMJ yells at him exactly that), so he has to come up with reasons that justify them, even if he thinks he's still right to do them because they're what's better for him. JC, though, doesn't even realize he's wrong and his externalizing of blame (usually to WWX) is a long-established habit. JC doesn't even think "I was pushed into this" because he did it willingly thinking he was right, and his position in society was such that he never had to get used to justifying himself.

#mdzs #mdzs meta #wei wuxian #jin guangyao #canon jiang cheng #anon #asks

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admirableadmiranda · 2 years

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hi, hope you're doing well! so, i'm a bit confused about wwx being morally ideal vx morally gray esp when you take the golden core transfer into account? it's not exactly consensual considering the fact that wwx lied to jc. additionally, how was jc abusive to wwx or jl? idk i feel a lot of the anti jc arguments involve things he didn't do?

Thank you anon, I appreciate the well wishes. In fact, I am doing very well in part because your ask has made me realize my work against Jiang Cheng stans and their nonsense has not ended.

To all reading this, I am well aware this is a bad faith ask. This is specifically written in a way to annoy me especially given my usual reblog topics and some of the metas I've written before. Anon knows exactly what they're doing.

But too bad for them it's a Friday fucking night and I'm ready for an argument. Come at me stans, we'll see who's better in a slap fight.

You are right! Many of our arguments do include things he doesn't do. Let's go over some of them, shall we?

He does not: treat anyone in this story with respect.

He does not: uphold the tenants or ideals of Yunmeng Jiang in any way. He is a disgrace to his ancestors.

He does not: ever show one lick of gratitude for Wei Wuxian getting him back a golden core, and before we go into the consent shit he told Wei Wuxian he would do anything to get one. He willingly gave his consent to do anything to get a golden core. So how is it relevant that in the end it was a different method than Wei Wuxian told him? Given how Jiang Cheng treated him knowing that he only had a golden core because of a once in a lifetime favor, him knowing that Wei Wuxian gave him his own golden core would not have gone over any better.

He does not: tell Jin Ling any of the truth about his parents or what happened. He told Jin Ling that Wen Ning (who was supposedly already dead at that point) murdered his mother on Wei Wuxian's orders.

He does not: show any signs of humility upon being confronted with the fact that he is wrong, in fact he doubles down on his actions.

He does not: support Wei Wuxian in any way especially not when Wei Wuxian is busy fulfilling his debt to the Wens, in fact he makes sure to bury Wei Wuxian's name and reputation as gratitude for taking on his debts and allowing him to stay out of jianghu politics.

He does not: ever show any signs of character growth outside of one possible blip where he lets Wei Wuxian go at the end of the Guanyin Temple Hostage party, if anything he's more bitter and angry at the end of the story then he started.

He does not: do anything to deserve the whitewashing he gets from the fandom.

He does not: endear himself to me with his whiny petulant spoiled child attitude.

He does not get to get a jail out of free card for serial killing anyone who reminds him of Wei Wuxian after leading the massacre of fifty innocents including an old woman and a toddler.

Oh and just for a note as well anon, not only does he slap Jin Ling to the ground twice, but verbal abuse is also a real thing and that he heaps on Wei Wuxian and Jin Ling in spades. So kindly take your abuse apologism out of my inbox and out of my fandom. You are not welcome here.

#mdzs #jiang cheng #canon jiang cheng #asks #anon #anon asks #anon is trying to abuse apologize #and you do not get away with that on this blog #thank you and good night

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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years

Text

Spite in Misery - ao3

(rather silly AU of Delight in Misery, only even more petty and passive aggressive, and also slightly more JC/LWJ)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“What do you want?” Jiang Cheng asked.

“Sanctuary,” Lan Wangji said, prim and proper as he always was, the perfect untouchable iceberg as always, except maybe for the small child he was holding. “For me and my son.”

“Wait, you fuck?”

Wait, that wasn’t the right question.

“Why do you need sanctuary here?” Jiang Cheng asked, utterly bemused. “There isn’t a single place in the cultivation world you wouldn’t be welcomed –”

Except here.

“– and anyway, your brother, his sworn brothers, and your sect would demolish anyone who even thought about hurting you. Who in the world could you need sanctuary from?”

“My brother,” Lan Wangji said. “His sworn brothers, and my sect.”

Jiang Cheng stared at him.

Lan Wangji stared right back at him.

And then he collapsed.

“No,” Jiang Cheng said to the unconscious or possibly dead body currently lying across the threshold of the Lotus Pier and the small feverish-looking child in barely better state splayed out beside it. “I refuse to take responsibility for this!”

“You will not say anything about the room I have chosen to house you in,” Jiang Cheng said. “You will not complain about the food, the amenities, or make any requests whatsoever. Do you hear me?”

“Mm,” Lan Wangji said.

Jiang Cheng ought to have expected as much.

“And don’t think this means I’m going to like you or anything,” Jiang Cheng added self-righteously.

“I despise you with every drop of blood in my body,” Lan Wangji said.

“…so noted,” Jiang Cheng said.

After a moment, he added, “I don’t care!” and stormed out.

After yet another moment, he came right back into the room where he’d put Lan Wangji – it was just a convenient room, not specifically Wei Wuxian’s room, and if putting Lan Wangji in there meant he could delay having to clean out all the personal possessions left in there and actually repurpose it, that was his business and no one else’s – and said, “Why do you hate me, exactly?”

“Do you care?” Lan Wangji asked. He was examining the small cot Jiang Cheng had set up to put the still-unconscious and therefore nameless child on.

“Obviously,” Jiang Cheng said. “Or I wouldn’t have asked.”

“Mm,” Lan Wangji said.

Jiang Cheng waited a few moments, moments that grew longer and longer, and finally he realized – “You’re not planning on telling me?”

“I despise you,” Lan Wangji reminded him.

“Oh, you – you…!” Jiang Cheng ground his teeth together. “I’m the one giving you sanctuary, remember?”

“I came to you because you were the only one powerful enough to accomplish the task and spiteful enough to do it. I did not come here to owe you any favors.”

“Well, you’re going to owe me one anyway,” Jiang Cheng said, scowling at him. “You – you – ugh. Forget it!”

He stormed back out.

And then he realized he hadn’t actually brought the medicine that he’d intended to bring to Lan Wangji, so he had to go in and drop it off, but then he was finally able to storm away properly.

“I was under the belief we had agreed it would be best for us to see each other as little as possible,” Lan Wangji said, his voice even icier than usual – which was saying something.

“That’s right,” Jiang Cheng agreed, eying him warily. “I’m only here personally to drop off your medicine because it means fewer people know that you’re here.”

He’d thought that he would need to bring in a doctor for Lan Wangji’s injuries, but it turned out to be whip marks from a discipline whip and Jiang Cheng – well. Jiang Cheng knew everything there was to know about injuries like that.

Sure, he’d had to take A-Yuan to a doctor, he didn’t know shit about pediatric illnesses, but that was fine, it didn’t give the whole game away. Jiang Cheng was able to pass him off as some random sad orphan he’d taken pity on, which wasn’t far from what he suspected to be the truth.

“In that case,” and Lan Wangji’s voice was even colder, which how, “why do you live next door?”

“This was the only room available,” Jiang Cheng lied.

Lan Wangji glared death at him.

“Beggars can’t be choosers. I’m giving you sanctuary, aren’t I?” Jiang Cheng scowled. “Anyway, I told you that you weren’t allowed to complain about the room.”

Lan Wangji did not appear impressed.

“How’d you know I was next door, anyway?”

“You have nightmares.”

…right.

“I’ll invest in better soundproofing, then,” Jiang Cheng said haughtily. He wasn’t ashamed of having nightmares. After the life he’d lived, it was only to be expected.

“I don’t want to be around you at all,” Lan Wangji clarified.

“Too bad.”

“I don’t want you spending time with A-Yuan.”

Oh, so that was the real issue here. Well, in that case, the answer was still – “Too bad.”

“He’s my son.”

“He’s in my house,” Jiang Cheng said. “In my sect, in my lands, in my part of the cultivation world, which is the only reason you came here rather than literally anywhere else, remember? Because I’m a territorial bastard with a paranoid streak that won’t let anyone come look for you in here without hovering over their backs like a shadow, making it impossible for them to actually find you – sound familiar?”

Lan Wangji’s face twitched. “I did not say that.”

“You thought it,” Jiang Cheng said, and Lan Wangji’s silence proved he was right. “Anyway, I don’t care if you don’t like me spending time with A-Yuan. He’s one of the only people who can make Jin Ling laugh.”

“He wants to be his big brother,” Lan Wangji said. He sounded like he had swallowed glass.

“Okay,” Jiang Cheng said, not understanding. “Good for him?”

Brothers didn’t have to be biological, he thought, and that old pain tore through his heart the way it always did when he thought about Wei Wuxian.

“Worthless,” Lan Wangji said, glaring at him, and Jiang Cheng almost agreed with that assessment of himself – thoughts of Wei Wuxian usually had that effect – except of course it was Lan Wangji saying it, so naturally he had to disagree.

It was oddly reaffirming, actually. He might beat himself up as being worthless, useless and pathetic, a broken shell of a man who couldn’t keep a single member of his family alive, who had nothing and lived for nothing and existed purely for the sake of his sect and Jin Ling –

But the second Lan Wangji said that he was worthless, Lan Wangji who was wrong about everything, Jiang Cheng was immediately convinced that he was the best thing that had ever been invented.

Wait, was this how Wei Wuxian used to feel all the time?

No wonder he was always tormenting Lan Wangji.

“I brought you some books on physical rehabilitation,” Jiang Cheng announced. “No, don’t thank me - the sooner you’re better, the sooner you can leave.”

“It will not be too soon,” Lan Wangji said.

Personally, Jiang Cheng didn’t think Lan Wangji was going to be leaving for at least another year, maybe a few more years, not with that many strikes of the discipline whip to heal and his disordered qi to straighten out, but it was nice for both of them to see a destination at the end of the road in which they didn’t have to see each other all the time. Either way, he agreed, so he wasn’t going to ruin the rare moment of complete harmony by being persnickety.

“You should knock before entering,” Lan Wangji added, prissy as always.

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes. He probably should have, yes, but he always had the ‘it’s my house’ thing to fall back on. This was the Lotus Pier where the rules of the Lan sect didn’t apply, and as far as he was concerned, that was reason enough to ignore etiquette. Anyway, Lan Wangji was here alone and healing just the way he’d been doing the past few months, what exactly was he going to be doing that Jiang Cheng might walk in on –

“Oh,” Jiang Cheng said when Lan Wangji attempted, with dignity, to extract his hands from inside his clothing, which was unfortunately not something he could do subtly. “Were you trying to jerk off?”

Lan Wangji looked mutinous.

“…were you failing to jerk off?”

Lan Wangji now looked like he wanted to rip Jiang Cheng limb from limb, even though it ought to have been clear enough that Jiang Cheng would only think to ask the question because he’d had a similar issue for a while there. The time after his family had died had been brutal, and he couldn’t even use getting off as a shortcut to fall asleep because every time he tried he couldn’t keep it up; it’d been awful. He’d been terrified that he’d broken his own dick somehow, which led to worries that he wouldn’t be able to have kids in the future and thereby fail his parents and ancestors in a brand new and yet unexplored way, which led to even more panic and even less sleeping. It hadn’t been until someone (he suspected Nie Mingjue, bizarrely enough) shoved a medical treatise about trauma reactions under his door that he’d realized it was a fairly normal aftereffect and managed to calm down a little.

Nie Mingjue had also given him so much work to do that Jiang Cheng hadn’t had time to even think about that sort of thing until nearly half a year later, at which point everything was working again and he’d completely forgotten it was even an issue until halfway into the afterglow.

Good man, that Nie Mingjue.

“If it’s a symptom, you need to tell me these things,” Jiang Cheng said, taking far too much wretched enjoyment out of the whole thing. He’d give Lan Wangji the trauma book, of course – he still had it – but he had to get his wins in where he could against the perfect iceberg, cheap shots or no. “As your current attending doctor, I’m responsible for your care –”

“It is unwanted but necessary. It is simply something that I must endure,” Lan Wangji said grimly, and Jiang Cheng raised his eyebrows.

The book had covered that, too, although that hadn’t been his problem, personally.

“Oh, I see,” he said. “You keep getting hard, is that it? And then retraumatizing yourself when you try to jerk off, which means you can’t satisfy the need, which means you can’t solve the getting hard all the time problem, which in turn affects your cultivation and so your healing…yeah, I see the issue. You should probably get someone else to do it for you if you get really desperate.”

“I see no one but you,” Lan Wangji said through gritted teeth.

A problem, Jiang Cheng admitted.

Still mostly Lan Wangji’s problem, though.

“Well,” he said with the smarmiest smirk he could manage, “as your attending doctor –”

Lan Wanjgji threw a book at his head.

“What are you planning on doing once you’re better?” Jiang Cheng wondered.

“Why are you talking to me?” Lan Wangji replied.

“Oh come on,” Jiang Cheng said. “How can you say such a thing after taking advantage of me? I let you into my home –”

“You will not be able to rely upon that fact forever.”

“I will be able to rely on that fact for eternity,” Jiang Cheng disagreed. “I let you into my home, I hid you away from the world – which isn’t actually as easy as I make it look, just so you know! Your brother is practically scouring the earth –”

Lan Wangji looked like he’d bitten into something extremely sour.

“I’m sorry, did you think he was not going to do that? And recruit his sworn brothers to help him?” Jiang Cheng asked. “I thought the whole point of this was – well –”

“It was.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I do not enjoy hearing of it.”

“Listen, if you’re going to decide to torture someone by turning your back on them and disappearing without a word, you should at least have the guts to own it.”

“You speak from experience, I take it.”

“As a matter of fact, I do. Did you somehow forget everything that happened back then with Wei Wuxian?”

“…you were the one who turned your back on Wei Ying.”

Jiang Cheng laughed disbelievingly. “Oh, yeah, sure,” he jeered. “Because I was so well-known for my backbone when it came to Wei Wuxian. I definitely was the one to come up with the idea to throw him out of my sect and cut ties, yeah, definitely, that’s completely what happened. I mean, obviously, I always got my way when dealing with him, every time, that’s how it always was between us. He had nothing to do with it.”

Lan Wangji was glaring at him. “Not then,” he said, each word cutting like a sword. “The Nightless City.”

“You mean the time he arrogantly and completely without warning started a fight that got my sister killed and then murdered three thousand people, including some of the very few family members and friends I had left?”

Lan Wangji was silent.

“You do mean that time,” Jiang Cheng said, marveling. “Are you insane? Even if I wanted to, if I took his side then, I’d have had no claim later on to grab him as a prisoner before anyone else did. The Jin would have executed him for sure! And slowly!”

“The Burial Mounds –”

“He imploded in front of my face!” Jiang Cheng shouted. “I had to see – when he – he died! He was – he did – you don’t even know – no, you know what, I’m not talking about this. Not with you of all people; you hated him.”

Lan Wangji’s hands were fists. “I did not.”

“No? You did a good job of acting like you did,” Jiang Cheng sneered. “Always talking about how you wanted to drag him back to Gusu just because it would make you feel better –”

“Better than leaving him.”

“I did what he wanted! And yes, fine, maybe that was my mistake. Maybe I should’ve ignored what he wanted, maybe I should’ve dragged him back to the Lotus Pier and locked him in a little room for the rest of his life the way everyone knows your dad did to your mom – ”

Lan Wangji flinched.

In fairness, Jiang Cheng was exaggerating about everyone knowing. He only knew about it because he’d heard his mother spit it out at his father during one of their nastier fights, and he was pretty sure she wasn’t supposed to have known about it, either.

“– but stupid me, I thought he’d be happier being free and alone than stuck with someone he clearly didn’t want to be around him anymore! But what do I know? Maybe I should ask you, you selfish bastard. You’re the one in his position this time, you’re the one who’s doing the turning away – I bet you don’t even know what it’s like to be the one that’s not wanted.”

Lan Wangji stared down at his hands as Jiang Cheng jumped up to his feet, Zidian crackling to life in his hand despite himself, persisting even though he tried to suppress it.

“I’m going to go hunt down some demonic cultivators,” he said, trying in vain to keep his temper even a little bit and knowing it was a lost cause. “And then I’m going to bring them back here and make them scream somewhere you can hear it. You can chew on that with some glass for all I care!”

“You handled that last one well,” Lan Wangji said. It sounded like someone was pulling teeth from his head.

“You’re sick,” Jiang Cheng announced. “I will go get some fever medicine at once. Are you experiencing any other symptoms in addition to hallucinations? Or should I be checking for signs of possession instead?”

Lan Wangji was back to glaring at him.

“I don’t know what drove that sudden spurt of niceness and I don’t care to know,” Jiang Cheng informed him. “I don’t need your approval.”

Lan Wangji ignored him. That was more customary.

Also unfortunate, because Jiang Cheng managed to get less than half a shichen of work done before coming back into Lan Wangji’s room (not Wei Wuxian’s room) and saying, “Okay, what exactly did I do?”

Lan Wangji looked at him sidelong.

“Seriously,” Jiang Cheng said. “What did I do that was so impressive that even you approved of it?”

“The demonic cultivator. The last one.”

Jiang Cheng frowned, thinking about it. “The – stupid one, you mean?”

Lan Wangji stared at him, and then looked at the ceiling, long-suffering. “The one from Yunping.”

“The stupid one,” Jiang Cheng confirmed, and then he was ranting again because he couldn’t seem to stop ranting about it. “I can’t believe the idiot got into demonic cultivation as a way to make money! That’s just – it’s just – if I ever figure out who paid him, I’m going to rearrange their guts with my sword. Lousy rotten opportunistic…!” He coughed, realizing he’d gotten started again when he’d promised Jiang Meimei that he’d stop. It apparently got old after the sixth repetition. “Anyway, what’s so notable about that?”

“You accepted him as an outer disciple of your own sect.”

“Well, yeah. What else was I going to do with him? He’s clearly got some talent for cultivation if he figured out demonic cultivation without dying. It’d be a waste to send him back to be a fisherman or a dockworker or something.”

“You didn’t kill him.”

“I’m not going to kill someone who got into demonic cultivation as a way to raise funds to get medicine for his sick mother,” Jiang Cheng said, rolling his eyes. “The idiot’s on tomb-sweeping duty for the next year to make up for having manipulated corpses the way he did, that’s punishment enough. It’s not at all comparable to the usual sort of amateur demonic cultivator, the ones that summon corpses to torment former lovers or murder business partners or that sort of thing – those are the ones I use as an example to warn everyone else. What’s the big deal?”

Lan Wangji said nothing.

“Fine, keep your secrets. Can you watch Jin Ling today? I have a – uh – important meeting.”

“Another woman that you have no intention of actually marrying?”

“Shut up and mind your own business.”

“No, but seriously,” Jiang Cheng said. “What are you going to do once you’re better?”

“I don’t want to talk to you,” Lan Wangji said, his voice muffled on account of his face being firmly in his hands. “Go away.”

“Listen, we’re still neighbors, we still need to talk. There’s no point in being suddenly shy about it just because you’re still in the acceptance phase of grief in connection with the whole me helping you with getting off business –”

“Never speak of it.”

Jiang Cheng sniggered. He wouldn’t have pegged the Lan sect as having uncontrolled libidos, much less Lan Wangji, but apparently the situation had gotten truly dire. Anyway, really, getting mockery rights was totally worth an arm work-out and having to put up with Lan Wangji, the latter of which he had to do anyway.

“You really are taking advantage of me now, though! My poor virtue –”

Lan Wangji looked at him through his fingers. “You don’t have any virtue.”

“Really?” Jiang Cheng asked, suddenly curious. “I strike you as someone with a lot of experience –”

“I meant morally.”

“Oh. Hey!”

Lan Wangji rolled his eyes. “Pathetic.”

“Not as pathetic as someone who won’t answer a straight question,” Jiang Cheng said. “What’s your plan for after you’re healed? Are you going back to the Lan sect? Or start traveling as a rogue cultivator?”

“Why do you care?” Lan Wangji asked.

“I can care!”

“But you don’t. Not about my affairs.”

Jiang Cheng had to admit this was correct. “Fine,” he said. “I need a name.”

Lan Wangji frowned at him.

“For A-Yuan,” Jiang Cheng said. “It’s been a year. The kid’s as healthy as he’s ever going to be, and he’s old enough for me to shove him in with the rest of the younger generation now that we’re starting lessons back up – cultivation, swordsmanship, shooting, etiquette, all the usual. But I can’t register him in the class without a surname, and I need to know if that surname’s going to be Lan or if you plan on changing it to something else.”

Lan Wangji was frowning at him.

“I know, I know, you’re in hiding,” Jiang Cheng said. “It’s fine, it won’t give you away even if you do pick ‘Lan’. I can register him as a Yunmeng Lan instead of a Gusu Lan, the surname’s common enough that no one will suspect anything unless you make him start wearing a forehead ribbon, which I don’t think you lot do at this age yet anyway. But if you’re planning on continuing to hide from your family after you get better, you’re going to need to do something about all of that.”

Lan Wangji looked sour.

“Anyway, long story short, that’s it. Your plans, I need to know them.”

Lan Wangji looked even more sour.

“Well? What is it?”

“We will return to the Lan sect,” Lan Wangji said.

“Not that hard, was it,” Jiang Cheng said. “I knew you were just throwing a temper tantrum.”

Lan Wangji rolled his eyes.

After a moment, he said, “What do we do about Jin Ling?”

“What do you mean, ‘what do we do about Jin Ling’?” Jiang Cheng asked suspiciously. “I had to fight half of Lanling Jin for the right to raise him here, we’re not doing anything about Jin Ling – anyway, who’s ‘we’? He’s my nephew!”

“A-Yuan sees him as a little brother.”

This was true.

“They will not want to part.”

…also true.

“Moreover,” and here Lan Wangji looked especially sour, “I believe A-Yuan has taken you as something of a – second parent.”

“Well, that’s nice,” Jiang Cheng said. “He’s a cute kid. Anyway, don’t take it so personally. Kids just do that, they adopt any adult in the vicinity as their own. I mean, certainly Jin Ling thinks of you as…wait. Wait. Are we co-parenting?!”

“Mm. Took you long enough to notice.”

It had been a bad day, a bad week, and a bad month, and Jiang Cheng’s temper, never good, was on the verge of imploding, so naturally that was when he completely lost all self-control he might have had and marched over to Lan Wangji’s room to blurt out, “Why do you hate me?”

Lan Wangji’s hands stilled over his guqin.

“I know why I hate you, even putting aside the fact that you’re a jackass with the emotional capacity of a brick,” Jiang Cheng said. “But I really have no idea what I did to you to make you hate me.”

There were so many options, after all. He was a cruel, vicious, and bitter man – he was a terrible parent, unlikable as a friend, barely sufficient as a sect leader, and such a failure at connecting socially with anyone that he’d been blacklisted as a marriage prospect despite being handsome, young, rich, and powerful. There were so many reasons to hate him.

But he didn’t know which one was the one that made Lan Wangji look at him with disdain, even if he thought that perhaps there was slightly less of that these days than there had been before.

“I hate you because you abandoned Wei Ying when he needed you,” Lan Wangji said. “He was your brother, and you left him behind – more than that, you led the charge against him, resulting in his death.”

…that was a good reason.

Jiang Cheng wouldn’t mind being hated for that reason, actually. It was a nice change from all those people who congratulated him for having done the right thing: all those smug sect leaders that comforted him for having raised a white-eyed wolf in the family, the ones that said his actions showed that he had a good backbone and a righteous bearing, the ones that had the gall to send him gifts of congratulation on the anniversary of Wei Wuxian’s death to thank him for his contribution to the cultivation world when all he wanted was to be left alone to mourn…

“That’s fine,” he croaked. “Okay. Yes. That’s – fine.”

“Why do you hate me?” Lan Wangji asked in turn. “You said you knew.”

“Oh, that,” Jiang Cheng said. “Same reason.”

Lan Wangji stared.

Jiang Cheng shrugged. “I mean, I know you were always harsh on him when we were together at your uncle’s lectures, which was completely fair given how much he was always bothering you. But he really did try sincerely to help you when we were all the Wen sect’s camp, and in the cave with the Xuanwu – but after, in the war, when he showed up with his demonic cultivation, you suddenly turned on him even though he was just doing it to help. You kept telling him he had to stop, even though you knew he was doing so much for the war effort, and you wanted to take him back to Gusu to do who-knows-what to him…you even snatched him away during the battle of the Nightless City! I saw you. I was so afraid you were going to kill him, I completely lost my head. I looked for you everywhere – I really don’t know how he was lucky enough to get away from you that time.”

Lan Wangji stared at him.

“And then you didn’t even bother to show up to the siege of the Burial Mounds in person,” Jiang Cheng added, feeling bitter. “After I heard from the Lan sect that he escaped from you, I briefly thought that you’d changed your mind and let him go. I was counting on you to be at the Burial Mounds to support me in claiming him as a Jiang sect prisoner – I had Chifeng-zun signed on, if reluctantly, and with you leading the Lan I could’ve made a decent argument. But then you didn’t show, either you or your brother; instead you sent your uncle, and of course there wasn’t even any point in asking him, was there?”

“…I didn’t know,” Lan Wangji said. His voice sounded strangely hoarse. “I wasn’t informed. It was shortly after…”

He nodded at his own shoulder, meaning the disaster on his back. Jiang Cheng hadn’t asked how it happened – he really wanted to know, as in really, really, really wanted to know, but even he was aware that actually asking would be unbearably rude. Still, he was surprised by the timing of it. How had Lan Wangji managed to end up in the hands of his enemies then? Who had even been left to do it to him?

“Yeah, well,” Jiang Cheng said, shaking his head to try to kick away his curiosity the way he would something clinging to his foot. “You were still a bastard to him when he needed you, so I hate you.”

He frowned.

“Also, you hate me,” he said. “So I hated you back just for that. Though I guess, since your reason for hating me is valid, maybe I should stop hating you back for that?”

He considered it.

“No,” he decided. “You’re too annoying not to hate.”

“The same for you,” Lan Wangji said after an unusual hesitation.

Jiang Cheng nodded and, feeling oddly relieved at not having found a new basis for self-hatred, departs.

“So once you’ve reestablished yourself at the Cloud Recesses, we’ll exchange extended visits on a regular basis so the kids can see each other,” Jiang Cheng said, and Lan Wangji nodded. “A minimum of three weeks per season, whether in the Lotus Pier or Cloud Recesses, and preferably double that.”

“Agreed.”

“In the meantime, you’ll work on getting the trade agreement we hammered out through your brother and sect elders as recompense for the time you spent here.”

“Mm.”

“An agreement whose source you will be disclosing very carefully because the Venerated Triad will not hesitate to murder me if they figure out without adequate warning it was me that was housing you for all this time.”

Lan Wangji said nothing and promised nothing.

Bastard.

Still, after nearly three years, Jiang Cheng was pretty used to it.

“Okay,” Jiang Cheng said. “Is there anything I’ve left out?”

“Joint night-hunts.”

“Right, right, we’ll make a point of regularly going on joint night-hunts – wait, why are we doing that? You don’t need me to watch your back now that you’re fully healed.”

Lan Wangji’s gaze wandered.

“Oh,” Jiang Cheng said. “So we can keep having hate-sex on the regular?”

“…mm.”

“Why didn’t you just say so? It’s not like I’m doing anything else – or anyone else. Blacklisted, remember?”

“Unsurprising,” Lan Wangji said, like the bastard he was.

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well, whatever. The set-up works, doesn’t it? I’m blacklisted, you’re apparently eternally pining for Wei Wuxian of all people – your taste is the worst – so who’s going to call us out on it? Go on, get out of here already. I’ll see you next month.”

“Well,” Jiang Cheng said, looking between the newly resurrected Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, abruptly made of an issue he had hitherto not considered based on Lan Wangji’s screaming body language. “This is. Uh. Awkward?”

#mdzs #jiang cheng #lan wangji #my fic #my fics #spite in misery #delight in misery #sometimes you get a silly idea #and then you write it

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tangledinmdzs · 3 years

Note

Hi there! So this is my first time requesting so is it ok to request for LXC, JC, SL and XXC where they save their s/o from a fierce corpse or monster in soulmate au?

hi!

sure thing, i will do my best to deliver!

here’s your request~

° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 °

Lan Xichen

(telepathy soulmates)

your aid in night hunts was very particular and special

that being, to tend to injured cultivators

you were not to fight,

as your juniors told you

and as your soulmate, Sect Leader, Lan Xichen, had also reminded you

but now,

when the fight came to you,

(that being the vengeful demon that had struggled out of the exorcism circle and crashed into your tent)

how could you not fight?

with only your medical skills to guide you, you throw potion after poison with your best aim

as stronger cultivators help injured ones escape

y/n! y/n! you have to leave!

but the demon is vicious

and even though your medical supplies are strong

they are no match for the demon’s hateful spirit

you shield your head just as the supply boxes are thrown at you, falling to your knees when a particular one slams into your legs

the demon howls happily, preparing itself to ascend on you just as a smooth sound crescendos across the havoc

at the notes of the xiao the demon withers and screams in agony, and disappears out of the tent to escape

you attempt to stand but gasp as the pain that makes your knees buckle even from the slightest bit of weight

the tears fall out of your eyes unconsciously, and they blur your vision

so you don’t notice the tent flap roughly tugged open, or realize who has ran towards you, kneeled down beside you

only when your tired body is pulled against soft robes, do you realize that you are not alone,

“i’ve failed you, the demon...”

even though they are just your thoughts Lan Xichen hushes you, uses his robe sleeves do dab at your tears,

“you have not failed me, you are alive. that is what’s most important” Lan Xichen promises, holds your teary stare

he lets you hide your face in his chest, shelters you from the world

Jiang Cheng

(color blind until meeting, soulmates)

you shouldn’t be here

with your world in monochrome, the forest path leading to your village had always had an ominous air to it,

you are sure that the forest would be beautiful, if you ever were to meet your soulmate and see color

but now, in the dark of night

everything was ominous

you had lost track of time picking wild berries and mushrooms

and only now when you are walking along the worn path

do you realize that the evening was slipping into night time

as the last rays of the sun disappear behind the tall pine trees,

you feel more lost

more fearful

especially when the air becomes so silent, you can only hear your own breath

especially when suddenly,

something seems to be following you

you dare take a glimpse behind just to catch a shadow, a fog, something

it is unclear, but it scares you

and you run blindly

run, run run run run, off the path, deeper into the forest, if only to get away from the sound of the thing crashing and howling behind you

you trip on your run, the dark of the forest floor and the late night blending in together

your fall sends you rolling down a small incline,

enough for pain to shoot up your arms

and for you lay motionless once the world is no longer spinning in your vision

as you lay there, you wonder if you would even be given a grave, your death unknown as it would be

just as your vision darkens entirely,

a light of purple, like a thunder strike, lights up the forest

and everything falls silent

Song Lan

(red string of fate, soulmates)

the red string at the end of your pinky had always stretched out mysteriously before you

you’d never follow its path before

and having grown up in a small secluded village,

it didn’t really seem like a feasible option

all of these years alone, living and going about the same routine

there was a semblance of acceptance

but as you’re faced with the gaping jaws of a vicious dog/wolf demon

you can’t help but feel unlucky

you want to scream, for any kind of help

but your village is still too many paces away

and the path that you had taken had always been empty

you cover your head, cornered as you are

and pray that at the very least, death could be painless

you cover your eyes, hold your breath

and for the longest time all that seems to surround you is the noise of your impending death

but then,

“are you alright?”

it is another human voice, a soft gentle, human voice

and your hands come off your face

and you open your eyes

the man that stares down at you has a cold serious, but not unwelcoming face

and you stare at him for a beat before skittering your eyes away, landing on the red string of his own hand

it is short

and you wished that your distance was just as short

you bring your hand to your lap, and after another moment realize that the string

is connected

Xiao Xingchen

(pain detection soulmates)

it is nothing particularly winding as much as it is surprising

Xiao Xingchen had always had a very high pain tolerance

as a strong cultivator, it is a must in his technique

but the pain that he was suddenly feeling now,

was an incredibly deep, humming warmth against his side

it felt as if his own qi was being taken, even though that can’t be possible

it takes Xingchen a moment to remember the haunted inn at the small village he was currently in

and the supposed demons-

Xingchen leaves the shop that he is in quickly,

runs through the town as the feeling in his side burns all the more

he runs to the near outskirts of the town,

bursting through the rickety doorway of the haunted establishment

Xingchen hears a muffled breathing, shallow breathing and lunges at the demon

even without his sight, Xingchen can sense the demon clearly, his gut hasn’t proved him wrong

and when it is slain

the quietness of the inn lobby makes him wonder

makes him unnecessarily fearful,

as a cultivator he is too familiar with death

yet...

Xingchen drops to his knees, hand reaching out blindly, painfully until he meets soft but torn robes

your hand is cold when he holds them, though when he feels your wrist there is hope again at the sluggish tug of your pulse

as Xingchen concentrates and pours his own spiritual energy into you

the pain in his side gradually lessens,

disappears

and he barely questions why

#mdzs #mdzs request #mdzs requests #mdzs anon requests #mdzs imagine request #mdzs scenario request #mdzs headcanons #mdzs reader insert #mdzs reaction request #mdzs lan xichen x reader #jiang cheng x reader #mdzs song lan x reader #mdzs xxc x reader #tangledwriting

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vrishchikawrites · 3 years

Text

Anon asks - There was another idea I had seen on @crossdressingdeath's tumblr where JC's reputation was ruined because of his behaviour and WWX's attempts to protect him from the consequences of his behaviour. The concept happens pre Qiongqi Path where JC attacks WWX to the point it injures and frightens him. A passerby sees WWX startled and asks him what's wrong but WWX dismisses it as nothing. Said bystander ends up thinking that JC had sexually assaulted him resulting in the cultivation world gossiping about JC being a rapist when really he isn't. Overall, the cultivation world gossips about the other shitty things JC had done and because he did alot of pretty bad things, he can't defend himself and resorts to victim blaming WWX. That however only has him dig a deeper hole for himself. WWX, on the other hand is left confused as to why everybody was pitying him all of a sudden when they used to hate and/or fear him. By the time the truth comes to light, the cultivation world thinks JC had deserved it anyway with it ending with JC hated just for him being himself and public opinion on WWX flipping. If you don't mind, can you make it light-hearted?

(Probably not as light-hearted as you would wish. It is a bit complicated. Be a little gentle because I wrote this twice and ended up fleshing it out much more. Is this a short prompt or a long one? who knows. writer is tired. she will sleep now.)

Everyone has personal boundaries, even people who are usually tactile and social. Boundaries exist even between family members who love and trust each other.

Wei Wuxian is a veteran fresh from war. He has survived bloody battlefields, spent days dealing with one hostile enemy after another. Even before that, he had spent his days constantly battling resentful ghosts and monsters in a place he can’t bear thinking of now. Before that, he had survived torture at the hands of the Wens. And before-

Better not to think about it.

So, when Jiang Cheng presses up against him threateningly, his face twisted and eyes furious, Wei Wuxian can’t help but flinch. He takes a step back and puts some distance between them quickly. Jiang Cheng has grown increasingly bitter and discontent in these past few months and Wei Wuxian is getting tired of dealing with it. He doesn’t want to be in such close proximity with a man seething with fury.

Unfortunately, that reaction proves to be a mistake because Jiang Cheng follows him, “What? Are you too big for us now? Turning away from me in disgust now that you’re a war hero and the best of us?” Jiang Cheng is so close, their noses almost touch and Wei Wuxian feels his hair stand on end in response.

“Jiang Cheng,” He says lowly, something unsettling stirring in his chest. He feels almost anxious. His heart is racing and the proximity makes him feel like he’s trapped, “Back away.”

“Back away?” Jiang Cheng snarls, “Who are you to command me, Wei Wuxian? Do you know what people are saying about YunmengJiang? Do you know who-”

“Back away,” Wei Wuxian says tightly, his skin crawling, “Now.” His hard-earned instincts are sounding alarms. He feels threatened and provoked. He feels the resentful energy in him respond to the danger.

“What are you going to do? Send a few ghosts at me?” He sneers, “Try it! We’ll see how brave you are under the wrath of my Zidian.”

No. Wei Wuxian isn’t going to just stand here and let Jiang Cheng pick up Yu-furen’s habits, He’s just about to react, to give Jiang Cheng the thrashing he clearly desires when he realizes they are outside. He glances beyond his Sect Leader’s shoulder and sees a small group of three clad in bright white looking at them with wide eyes.

He bites back his angry retort and masters himself. He’s not going to squabble with Jiang Cheng in front of Lan disciples. His relationship with Lan Zhan is strained as it is.

“We’re in public,” He says, hoping that concern for his Sect’s reputation would move Jiang Cheng if concern for Wei Wuxian doesn’t.

Jiang Cheng looks over his shoulder and sneers at the Lan disciples before rolling his head, “Lans, of course.” He snarls and pushes Wei Wuxian away roughly, “I’ll deal with you later.”

Wei Wuxian takes a deep breath and watches his brother leave.

The Lan disciples are still looking at him with heartwarming concern. He waves at them with a smile and watches as they start like little ducklings and bow to him before fleeing.

Cute.

---

“We have to do something!” Lan Zhanxiao insists, “Did you see how he looked? Wei Wuxian was clearly trying to-”

“Shh! Keep your voice down!” Lan Lishan reprimands.

“Don’t say his name!” Lan Guan whispers urgently, looking around in a panic. There are already a few curious and interested eyes glancing in their direction. Wei Wuxian is a notorious name, after all. Even non-cultivators are interested in the man who had just a material impact on the war. It is hard to tell if they would’ve won without that powerful unorthodox cultivator on their side.

“We can’t just stand by and do nothing,” Lan Zhanxiao, always the righteous one, continues. He doesn’t care about the people around them, “If Wei Wuxian is hurt and we do nothing to prevent it, aren’t we culpable as well?”

“This is Wei Wuxian. Who would dare?” Lan Guan asks incredulously, “He is one of the most powerful cultivators in existence.”

“Is he?” Zhanxiao demands, “Doesn’t everyone know he’s very loyal to Jiang-zongzhu? Would he take a step against him? Even if it meant saving himself?”

“He should be building his own sect,” Lan Lishan says reluctantly, “He’s the Grandmaster of his cultivation form. It may be an unorthodox method, but it is still something new and entirely unique.” He would know. Lan Lishan is an avid student of history and cultivation theory. He knows that most cultivators with unique abilities tend to form their own sect to pass their teachings down.

He shudders at the prospect of cultivating resentful energy but Wei Wuxian has mentioned it is a technique people with absent or damaged Golden Cores can use.

The potential is almost limitless.

“See what I mean?” Lan Zhanxiao points out, “Hasn’t he been isolated from other cultivators because they fear his methods? If Jiang-zongzhu is really hurting him or…” He grimaces and lowers his voice, “That expression, Shan-ge, it reminds me of jiejie. What if Jiang-zongzhu is… doing something inappropriate?”

They all exchange alarmed glances, “You don’t think…?” Lan Guan breathes, horrified.

“He was scrambling to get away,” Lan Zhanxiao says, “And Jiang-zongzhu kept pressing-”

“We can’t talk about this here,” Lan Lishan says firmly, “Come, let’s leave.”

Unfortunately, they leave chaos behind.

---

Rumors are a powerful entity in the cultivation world. They are born in tea and wine houses, spread from one tradesman to another and spread to the far reaches of cultivation society in a matter of months.

The rumors about Jiang’ Wanyin’s treatment of a war hero are no exception to this rule. People gossip about it with their friends and neighbors, share the news with vendors while on errands, and the rumors continue to grow. With every retelling, the story changes, growing increasingly distorted and vile.

“The entire business is unpleasant,” A small clan cultivator says to one of his tradesman friends, “Jealousy really alters a man.” He speaks about old rumors then, speculations about Wei Wuxian’s parentage, Madam Yu’s wrath, and the Jiang heir’s relatively lackluster growth in comparison to his prodigious shixiong.

“Surely not,” Another cultivator scoffs, “Who would dare raise a hand against Wei Wuxian? Did he not decimate a large Wen battalion with just his flute and some music?”

“Merchants at Lotus Pier say Wei Wuxian always looks wan and tired these days. He has grown pale.” One woman whispers to her companion, “He spends more time in wine houses with ghost maidens than in the comfort of his rebuilt home.”

“It seems so improbable!” A young cultivator protests, “Why would Jiang-zongzhu provoke the sleeping dragon like this? Wei Wuxian is stable now but who knows when he will give into resentment?”

“Lan disciples saw it.”

And that’s the crux of the matter. If the rumor didn’t originate from Lan disciples, it might not have traveled so far. Lans are known for their honest and forthright nature, after all. What cause did they have to lie? And no Lan spoke carelessly, so their words must be the whole truth, without any exaggeration.

Because Lans are the source, everything they say is taken as fact. If one Lan disciple finds Jiang-zongzhu’s behavior horribly inappropriate then it must be. If another Lan is worried about Wei Wuxian’s safety, there must be a just cause.

The rumors spread and propagate, and soon almost the entirety of the cultivation world is aware of them.

---

Gossip is forbidden at Cloud Recesses. Disciples are usually discouraged from meddling in other sect business. Rumor-mongering is punished severely, with all parties involved facing the wrath of the disciple whip.

But Lans are raised to be righteous and compassionate. If someone is in trouble, a Lan must act. He must offer a helping hand and take the victim away from danger.

When the rumors reach Caiyi Town and land on the ear of one Lan Ruyao, he hesitates. He asks around, gets more information, and then rushes back to Cloud Recesses, intent on knowing it all.

Lan Ruyao seeks the three disciples that are the cause of it all and demands an explanation, his mind disturbed with worry. What he hears gives him no comfort for he cannot discard their concerns. The behavior they describe is alarming and their observations are precise, without any emotion clouding their judgment.

Lan Lishan narrates the incident in detail, describing every action with no embellishment or exaggeration. He speaks of Wei Wuxian’s retreat, of Jiang Wanyin’s insistence, the threat of whipping, and words spoken with cruelty and disrespect.

Lan Ruyao’s mind is disturbed as he retreats, absentmindedly assigning some lines to the junior disciples. They have erred by being so indiscreet but their cause is righteous. They don’t deserve severe punishment.

He meditates on the matter for an entire morning, trying to decide on a course of action.

You see, Lan Ruyao is Lan Wangji’s peer. He has known the Second Jade for many years, and while they are not close, they are of the same clan. The entire cultivation world may believe Lan Wangji hates Wei Wuxian, but Ruyao knows better. The Second Jade wouldn’t have been so insistent on bringing Wei Wuxian to Gusu if he didn’t care.

Lan Ruyao suspects both of them hold each other in some esteem. They have saved each other’s sides many times and seem to get along well when they’re not quarreling. He believes that they are friends.

It would be unwise to keep this from Lan Wangji.

Decision made, he quickly requests a private meeting with the Second Jade. The request is granted promptly and soon Lan Ruyao finds himself before his peer, readying himself for a difficult conversation.

The Second Jade listens to his piece without any interruption, his expression blank and beautiful as white jade. But his golden eyes are twin chips of flint, coldly furious.

Indeed, they are friends.

Lan Wangji summons the three junior disciples and questions them thoroughly. His demeanor becomes frostier as the interview progresses, his spiritual energy gaining a deadly edge when the juniors murmur of ‘inappropriate behavior.’

“You have my gratitude,” Lan Wangji says finally, bowing to him and nodding to the juniors, “Rest assured, I will address the matter directly.”

---

“Lan Zhan, wait!” Wei Wuxian protests as Lan Zhan drags him away by the elbow, his uncharacteristic behavior taking him by surprise, “Don’t take him so seriously, Lan Zhan! You know he’s a temperamental brat.”

Lan Zhan doesn’t say anything until they are a fair distance away from Jiang Cheng and the Lotus Pier. Wei Wuxian tries to get an explanation for such unusual behavior but his companion is entirely silent, guiding him towards a crop of trees that offer some semblance of privacy.

“How long have you borne this?” Lan Zhan asks once they stop walking, his golden eyes bright and fierce, “How long have you endured without speaking a word to me or your friends?”

“All my life,” He rolls his eyes, “You know Jiang Cheng has a temper and says careless things, Lan Zhan. Don’t worry, I know how to handle him.”

“All your life?” Somehow, Lan Zhan seems stricken, “Wei Ying!”

“Aiya, Lan Zhan,” Honestly, he is moved by Lan Zhan’s concern for him. They have spent so many years just quarreling and being distrustful towards each other. The concern is a pleasant distraction from the wretched state of their relationship, “Don’t worry about it. I can deal with everything Jiang Cheng throws at me.”

“How can you be so callous about your own well-being?” Lan Zhan asks, his tone betraying his dismay, “Do you not care-” He visibly bites back those angry words and calms himself, his voice taking on a gentler note, “Did you think I would not help? That your friends wouldn’t offer you shelter or protection?”

Really, this is a bit of an overreaction, isn’t it?

“Do I really have any friends left, Lan Zhan?” He asks casually but the reaction he receives is anything but casual. Lan Zhan’s eyes widen as though he has been struck, “Aiya, please don’t look like that,” Wei Wuxian feels a stir of panic because Lan Zhan looks almost hurt, “I’m just being a brat.”

“Have a care,” Lan Zhan says, “Your dismissal of this matter doesn’t put me at ease.”

“Lan Zhan,” He sighs, “I’m used to it. You saw how we were at Cloud Recesses. Did I look unusually troubled then?”

“You’ve become… accustomed to it?” Lan Zhan asks, once again looking uncharacteristically stricken. Wei Wuxian feels a stir of concern in his stomach and reaches out, placing a hand on the Second Jade’s arm, “You’re accustomed to it.”

Not knowing what to do in response to such open emotion from Lan Zhan, he looks for something to distract him. Immediately, his mind remembers an old promise, “Let’s focus on something more pleasant. It’s about time you saw Lotus Pier in its full glory, Lan Zhan! I want to show you all of my favorite places, including all of the trees I climbed!”

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan’s voice is low and pained.

Wei Wuxian’s smile softens as he tugs on the Second Jade’s arm, “Don’t think of unpleasant things, Lan Zhan. It’s a beautiful day and we haven’t seen each other in months! Let’s be happy, alright?”

Wei Wuxian feels a jolt of surprise as Lan Zhan raises a hand and covers his fingers, squeezing gently. The touch is warm and reassuring, and it sets Wei his heart racing.

Lan Zhan studies him for a long moment before dipping his head elegantly, his grip on Wei Wuxian’s fingers still firm and steady, “If Wei Ying wishes it,” He promises, “I will make it so.”

Oh.

---

It all comes to a head at the Discussion Conference. Wei Wuxian is accustomed to being the center of attention these days but the quality of that attention is different now. Instead of wary glances, he sees eyes filled with sympathy and tentative smiles of welcome.

Wei Wuxian being Wei Wuxian, ignores the nagging suspicion that lingers at the back of his mind and smiles brightly back at them.

That seems to make things worse because the looks of sympathy seem to somehow intensify. He even sees a few women blink their limpid eyes and turn away, as though disguising tears. Somewhat alarmed, he glances at Jiang Cheng and winces.

His martial brother is bristling with anger. There’s a thundercloud-like expression on his face as he meets every eye in the room with a clear challenge.

If glances towards him are filled with sympathy, those towards Jiang Cheng are filled with contempt and disapproval. Between that and Lan Zhan’s protective hovering, Wei Wuxian is at the end of his patience.

He needs answers and he needs them now before the situation can escalate somehow.

Baffled by the situation, Wei Wuxian looks around and finds the most reliable source of gossip he can find. “What is going on?” He demands as soon as he is at Nie Huiasang’s side, “Why are people glaring at Jiang Cheng like he’s a fierce corpse?”

Nie Huaisang waves his fan, his expression a strange mix of amusement and grim satisfaction. For one, his old friend doesn’t hide behind his usual prevarications. He glances around the room and seems to catch someone’s eye. Wei Wuxian follows that gaze only to blink as Lan Zhan walks sedately towards them, expression stern and disapproving, “Do you know what’s going on, Lan Zhan?”

The Second Jade remains silent, his eyes fixed on Jiang Cheng. Wei Wuxian sighs in frustration and glares at Nie Huaisang, “Nie-xiong, what?”

His curt tone is enough to snape Nie Huaisang out of his musings. The man smiles wryly behind his fan, “Ah, Wei-xiong,” He waves his free hand, “There has been some speculation about your relationship with-”

“Why don’t you speak up?” A loud voice asks and Wei Wuxian turns around, “Why don’t you defend Wei Wuxian, Jiang-zongzhu? You’re going to let people slander your loyal Head Disciple so boldly?”

It’s Wang Jin, the Sect Leader of Runan Wang Clan. The man’s face is twisted in rage and disgust as he stares at Jiang Cheng. Wei Wuxian frowns, ready to step forward and stand by Jiang Cheng in such a hostile environment.

Lan Zhan’s hand on his arm stops him.

He looks at the Second Jade questioningly but the man just shakes his head, “Wait.”

“Why should he defend him?” An annoying Jin pipes up, his voice sharp and mocking, “We know what Wei Wuxian is! He may pretend to be loyal on the surface, but he is nothing but a faithless dog-”

“Jin Zixun!” Nie Mingjue snaps, “I will not have you insult one of our men in my presence! He fought and bled on our side.”

Nie Mingjue’s words silence him and Jin Guangyao speaks up soothingly as Wei Wuxian frowns, studying the scene with keen eyes, “Let us all calm down. I’m sure Wang-zongzhu means well.” He smiles placidly, “There have been rumors, just a bit of gossip about Wei-gongzi speaking ill of Jiang-zongzhu.” Wei Wuxian tilts his head to the side, mind whirling.

He refuses to be angry. There’s something about this situation that has his instincts rattled. He needs to focus.

“The Hanguang-jin himself said they were lies. Wei Wuxian has never spoken ill of Jiang Wanyin!” Well, that’s not entirely true. He is certain he has called Jiang Cheng a temperamental brat in Lan Zhan’s presence more than once. “Jiang-zongzhu should know better than to-”

“Why does Jiang-zongzhu need to do anything for that man?” Jin Zixun demands and Wei Wuxian feels a stir of amusement. All of this drama on his account? He’s honored.

“What kind of Sect Leader is he?” Wang-zongzhu asks, fuming, “If he doesn’t even defend his own Head Disciple? Has he not brought glory to YungmengJiang? Doesn’t the Sect owe him a debt of gratitude?” Wei Wuxian winces and Jiang Cheng’s expression turns stony, “If you want to talk of rumors, why not discuss the other rumors?” Wang-zongzhu turns to Jiang Cheng with a scowl, “Is he not your brother in all but blood? Didn’t the former Jiang-zongzhu raise Wei Wuxian as his nephew? Is this how YunmengJiang treats its brightest disciple? How will you face Jiang Fengmian, Jiang-zongzhu?”

Wei Wuxian bites back a groan as Jiang Cheng’s expression darkens with fury. This is the absolute worst thing to say to his martial brother.

“Why is he so concerned about this?” Wei Wuxian asks, almost to himself.

Nie Huiasang leans in and whispers in his ear, “His sisters were… assaulted by the Wens.”

Wei Wuxian feels a shudder crawl down his spine and shakes his head. Those disgusting wretches deserved the death he inflicted on them.

He still doesn’t understand what this has to do with him.

He glances at Lan Zhan, he is looking at the scene with his usual frosty expression, giving nothing away. He looks ahead to see Jiang Cheng ready to erupt and frowns. “Lan Zhan, I need to… help, somehow.”

“Wei Ying needs to do nothing.”

He’s about to protest when Jiang Cheng finally snaps, “Glory to YunmengJiang? He has brought nothing but devastation to it!” Wei Wuxian flinches and Lan Zhan steps forward and to the side, pointedly placing himself between the two Jiang Sect cultivators, “YunmengJiang has always been glorious. My ancestors bled and fought for it! We earned our glory through centuries of cultivation and diligence! I owe him a debt? Wei Wuxian owes me the lives of my parents! He provoked the Wens to save Lan Wangji’s life and I lost my family because of it!”

“Jiang-zongzhu, perhaps-”

“Shut up!” Jiang Cheng interrupted Jin Guangyao, “How I treat my Head Disciple is none of your business.”

“It is very much our business if you’re abusing him,” Nie Mingjue says and it silences everyone.

Wei Wuxian is… dumbfounded. He feels like he’s just a mass of confusion at this point because nothing about this situation makes sense. “Abuse?” He whispers harshly to Nie Huaisang, grabbing his arm to drag him away to a quieter corner, “Nie Huaisang, what is going on? Jiang Cheng doesn’t abuse me!”

“Does he not?” It is Lan Zhan who speaks, his expression solemn, “Truly, Wei Ying? Does he not abuse you?”

“Of course, not-”

“So he didn’t threaten you with Zidian?” Nie Huaisang asks, “Or try to physically intimidate you while you were clearly trying to step away?”

Wei Wuxian frowns, “Well yes, but that is just him being angry! He does that all the time.”

“That is no comfort to us.” Lan Zhan says stiffly.

“Didn’t he push you away several times? We have accounts from people who saw you fall to the ground.” Nie Huaisang’s expression is unusually stern, “Didn’t he seek to isolate you from everyone? Didn’t he keep telling you Wangji-xiong hated you?”

“Wangji-xiong gave every impression of hating me.” Wei Wuxian firmly denies, “Let us not attribute that particular error to someone else.”

“Indeed,” Lan Zhan nods graciously, as expected. He wouldn’t be Lan Zhan if he didn’t accept his own mistakes without hesitation.

“Wei-xiong,” Nie Huaisang tucks his fan away and he sees Lan Zhan focus on that, his eyes suddenly sharp, “He has been saying the same thing since you were at Cloud Recesses. He has always dragged you away from Lan Wangji. You saved Lan Wangji and Jin Zixuan’s lives. Why is he so intent on our Second Jade, hmm?”

Wei Wuxian shakes his head, “You’re making this unnecessarily complicated.” He says, “On the surface, all of these actions appear wrong but the intent behind them isn’t cruel.”

“Your love for him blinds you.” Wei Wuxian narrows his eyes sharply at his old friend, “If er-ge treated Wangji-xiong like that, you’d be furious. Just the threat of da-ge whipping would have you reaching for your flute.”

“Huaisang-”

“Did you think we wouldn’t feel the same way?”

Wei Wuxian studies him and Lan Zhan, realizing they are utterly serious. Concerned and a bit baffled, he looks at Jiang Cheng over his shoulder, only to find him nose to nose with Wang-zongzhu. “Heavens,” He breathes and steps forward, determined to intervene.

“You think what?” Jiang Cheng’s voice is full of disgust, “You… you think I have… that I’m some disgusting cutsleeve?!”

Wait, what?

“How dare you?! I would never touch a man!”

“Is that what he’s focusing on?” Nie Huaisang asks incredulously.

For once, Wei Wuxian has nothing to say.

---

It takes a few weeks for fresh rumors to make their rounds. People now know that Jiang Wanyin hasn’t behaved inappropriately with his martial brother, but that doesn’t make much difference.

The cultivation world, in general, still believes that Jiang Cheng’s behavior is abhorrent. Wei Wuxian is tempted to point out the hypocrisy of their words but knows it is futile. Once the masses make up their minds about something, few can persuade them to think otherwise. Jiang Cheng’s reputation has been tainted forever and there’s little they can do about it.

Unfortunately, this issue has also cemented the break between Wei Wuxian and his Sect Leader. There’s nothing that can repair the relationship now. He feels a pang of loss but he had already resigned himself to that when he had given away his Golden Core.

Fortunately, it seems he has some options available.

“Come to Gusu with me,” Lan Zhan says, his tone softer, his voice imploring, “Please.” This time, Wei Wuxian can’t mistake his intent. Lan Zhan’s reaction to the entire mess made one thing very clear to him.

Lan Wangji cares about him.

Isn’t that something? Never in his life did Wei Wuxian think he would be in such a position. He had always assumed Jiang Cheng would be by his side and Lan Wangji would stand against him. But everything is different now.

Wei Wuxian thinks of his childhood home, thinks of a life that has been irrevocably changed, and sinks in those memories for a brief moment. Despite what everyone thinks, there have been some good times. He doesn’t regret the course his life took when he was welcomed to the Lotus Pier by Jiang Fengmian.

He lingers, briefly, on regret,

Then, he shrugs it off and looks into the golden eyes of his future with a grin, “I’ll come to Gusu with you, Lan Zhan.”

And that’s that.

#short prompts #wei wuxian #lan wangji #mentions of abuse #anti jiang cheng #nie huaisang #too tired for tags

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