#Let’s see if our experiences are universal. LMAO

[shima-draws]

I’ve seen lots of these going around and wanted to try my hand at my own 👀

#Let’s see if our experiences are universal. LMAO #Shima speaks #Polls #Poll #Tumblr polls #Hyper specific poll

[moraxrkive]

ƞsʄw ɑlpɦɑbet witɦ: ɱiƙɑsɑ

cw: this whole post is nsfw, so yeah... title is self-explanatory, lol. canon!universe, post-war mikasa, sapphic mikasa, female!reader, feeding kink (?) (not really confirmed, but it is mentioned so...). MINORS AND NON-WLW DNI. a/n: i'm not from the US, so i had to search how to convert bra sizes, so i'm sorry if it's wrong, i'm not used to this way of measuring chest.

A - AFTERCARE

mikasa is really good at aftercare, always making sure to take care of you with whatever you need: water, snacks, a massage, and even a bath. you name it, she does it. her personal favorite is massages: she loves both massaging you and receiving massages, she loves the contrast between the previous sexual touches and these softer ones.

B - BODY PART

i personally believe her favorite body part on herself is her arms. after years of fighting (not to mention her ability to carry those thunder spears), her arms are pretty big. she secretly loves that it’s so easy to swoop you directly into her arms, and how easy it is to just pick you up whenever she feels like it.

when it comes to you, her favorite body part of yours is your thighs. i can 100% see her being a thighs person. she loves them, she loves to kiss, bite and grab them. dare i say, she has wet dreams specifically about your thighs, but she’ll never admit it out loud. she’s obsessed.

C - CUM

our dear mikasa is a little shy when it comes to cumming. she doesn't like to cum on your face, even if you say 100x it's ok, she just doesn't feel like it. she feels as if it would make you dirty, and, to her, sex is something to make you feel good. she only cums either against your pussy or on your fingers (curiously, she doesn't complain if you make her suck your cum-stained fingers. huh)

D - DIRTY TALK

i'm sorry to the fans of dirty talk out there, but our dear mikasa is not a fan of it. like i said, she thinks sex is something to make you feel good, to make you feel loved. she's not wrong, of course. that's why she absolutely refuses to call you anything degrading. the maximum she can do is something along the lines of "you look cute when you're desperate". do not expect more from here.

E - EXPERIENCE

dear mikasa is not experienced. with all the stress and trauma from the war, eren's death and just the overwhelming discover of how the world really is (consequently, how her whole life was a lie), her libido was pratically nonexistent. pratically. once in a blue moon, she would engage in some private time for herself, touching herself silently in the dark of the night, but still a virgin. you were her first and, honestly, she hopes you'll also be her last.

F - FAVORITE POSITION

100% scissoring. she loves the eye contact you two make during it. to mikasa, intimacy and romance are the most important parts of sex, so expect her to be clingy during it. also expect a lot of eye contact, she loves looking at you, seeing that she's the one making you feel good.

G - GOOFY

not goofy at all. mikasa takes sex very seriously, it's a very important part of your relationship. but i can't deny if you made a joke or two, she would let out a chuckle. only a chuckle, though.

H - HAIR

canonically speaking, i think none of the women in aot shave lmao. they have better priorities honestly. therefore, expect mikasa to have a black bush of hairs down there. they're relativately thin, comparing to how most pubic hairs are, but still there.

I - INTIMACY

mikasa LOVES intimacy. after killing the boy she had been loving for years, she started to prioritize intimacy in her life and, of course, that means total investment in her relationship with you. even when it comes to things not sex-related, she just wants to feel your love and show you how much she loves you. mikasa is a woman with a heart full of love, and how lucky you are for being the one she loves.

J - JACK OFF

previously, she didn't have the habit, like i mentioned before. after you two started dating, and the terrors of the war started to wear off, tiny bit by tiny bit, mikasa allowed herself to feel sexual desire again. so she rediscovered masturbation, and she doesn't regret it: it allows her to discover new spots on her body that send shivers down her spine, and she's happy to share her discoveries with you.

K - KINK

i don't really think mikasa is a kinky person. that doesn't mean she's not open to try new things with you, though. one thing she discovered she likes, for example, is overstimulation. she likes to see you begging for her to let you cum. she likes to know she's the one in control of your pleasure.

another thing i believe mikasa enjoys a lot is mirror sex. you're the first woman she's ever been with, don't blame her for being curious! she likes to see her fingers going in and out of you. she also enjoys to see you eating her out in the mirror. (she also secretly likes to see herself lost in pleasure. it reminds her of how all the nightmare is over now, and she can lower her guard and indulge herself in this but, hey, you'll never see her admiting this out loud.)

L - LOCATION

sex is for the house and the house only. mikasa is against doing it in public, or in any circumstance that might get you two caught. your sexual lives are for your eyes only, mikasa prefers to die than let anyone see you in such an intimate state.

that doesn't mean some hands here and there don't happen. when she's in a particular good mood, she can give your ass a squeeze or two, but nothing beyond that.

M - MOTIVATION

mikasa is still rediscovering her libido and her sexuality, so that's why she doesn't really have a specific reason to have sex with you. sure, sometimes you might wear something sexy to tease her, or bend down a little too much near her, but most of the time... perhaps just your presence is enough to get her going. she just wants to be with you in the most intimate way possible, so give her some love, will you?

N - NO

mikasa will never degrade you nor be rough with you. her life has been filled with violence since her childhood, demanding aggressiveness from her to simply survive. ever since the end of the rumbling, mikasa promised to herself she would never be violent again, only if she deemed extremely necessary, and you are the last person in the whole world she ever wants to do something violent with.

O - ORAL

mikasa LOVES oral!!! both receiving and giving. she was a little bit intimated at first, not only because she was a virgin, but also because she was performing oral on another woman! she felt like she needed to know what to do, since she's also a woman, but you calmed her down and guided her. since then, mikasa got hooked.

when she's giving, she loves the way you squirm under her, it makes her feel proud of herself, since she's the one making you feel so good. she likes seeing you so relaxed and letting go.

when she's receiving, she likes to hold your hand. it's a reminder that you are the one making her feel good. it's also a reminder to herself, how she can allow herself to let go and break free from all the mental strains she has.

P - PACE

mikasa likes long-duration sex, so she's not rushing anything. dear mikasa takes her time taking off your clothes, kissing your body and caressing it. to her, you're a work of art, and she's glad she's the one who has the privilege to appreciate you with eyes, hands and mouth. you can bet she'll take her sweet time going through your body.

Q - QUICKIES

with that being said... she hates quickies. you two tried doing it once, and she hated it. she hated how rushed and messy it was, not to mention she didn't get to appreciate your body the way it deserves to be. so, no, mikasa doesn't tolerate quickies.

R - RISK

not taking any risk. mikasa is a very private and quiet person, but she's also very jealous. the mix of all these 3 traits are the reason you two won't do anything outside the house, not even on your backyard. sex belongs only inside the house, more specifically in your bed.

S - STAMINA

mikasa is an ex-soldier, you know she has stamina. even if the war has worn off of her and her belly is a little chubbier rather than the hard abs she had in the past, her stamina is still there. she can easily handle 4, maybe 5 rounds before she needs to stop to catch a breath, but, of course, if you can't handle all of those, she's not going to force you.

T - TOYS

toys are not her priority in the bedroom, but I can't see why she wouldn't enjoy them. you are the one who brings toys to sex, and she's not opposed to it. she likes seeing their different features, and also the different reactions they can get out of you.

she wouldn't be opposed to you using some toys on her, of course. just don't expect it to happen frequently.

U - UNFAIR

out of the two of you, you're the one who teases her honestly. 99% of the time, it's your doing, but that 1%... that 1% it's when mikasa is feeling really needy. it's when she puts on revealing clothes and bends down in front of you, making sure you can see her boobs perfectly. she also sits on your lap and innocently grinds against you.

she doesn't tease you often, but when she does... you're in for a long ride.

V - VOLUME

mikasa is pretty vocal in bed. she doesn't moan loudly, she's vocal in the meaning of always telling you that "you fell so good, love" or letting you know that you're doing something she's enjoying a lot. poor girl can't keep her mouth shut, she'll always be praising you, telling you how much she loves you and how good she feels.

W - WILD CARD

"m-mikasa..." you moan as you feel her featherlight touches on your neck, just the tip of her fingers. she purposely scratches your neck with her trimmed nails, just to see you shiver.

"shh, my love, take another one" she says, pushing a grape against your lips. she watches as your eyes get half lidded, taking the grape inside and grazing your teeth against the tip of her fingers.

mikasa has you sitting down on a chair. she's sitting on your lap, feeding you grapes. oh, and you're both naked. and she also has your hands tied behind your back.

"that's it... you're doing good, such a good girl for me" she whispers against your ear, kissing right under it, on that spot she knows it's so sensitive and makes you gasp and arch your body towards her.

you're breathless. you have no idea how long it has been since this little teasing game of hers began, all you know is how frustrated you feel right now. you can feel your neglected pussy aching between your legs, begging for attention.

you never took her as the type to have a feeding kink.

eh, maybe she doesn't even have it. maybe she's just in the mood to tease you.

"mika..." you whine once she puts another grape against your lips, silently demanding you to open them up. "p-please..." at this point, you don't even know what you're begging for. you just need her to do anything, anything at all.

"I know my love, I know" she kisses your neck "but you've been acting so good, you can handle more for me, can't you? you're my good girl, aren't you?"

just between us, you have no idea if you can handle more teasing, but hey, you'll never know if you never try.

X - X-RAY

mikasa has big breasts, easily 42C. she's very neutral about them, but you? oh, you make up for it. always buring your head on her chest and lapping at them. it makes her flustrered and shy but, hey, it's her fault for having such big boobs, right? how can you act normally when it looks like they are staring at you and begging you to suck them! as for her pussy, it's hairy, like i mentioned. it has a pretty pink color, lips not too big or too small, just the perfect size. her clit is on the bigger side, which makes things more interesting for the both of you, giving how easy it is to stimulate her.

Y - YEARNING

you two have a healthy sex life, and have sex surprisingly frequently. 3x a week, even 5x a week if one of you is feeling needy. the best thing is when both of you get needy at the same time: you'll have sex literally everyday. the only time things die down a little is when mikasa or you get a period. she used to be embarassed to have sex when she was on her period, saying "it's disgusting" or "i'll get the bed dirty". but, once you tried it, she saw how it soothed her cramps, and - since she was sensible - how the sensations were enhanced. so now, you two are not against having sex while on your periods anymore.

Z - ZZZ

our pretty girl falls asleep easily after sex lol. do not be fooled, she's not trying to avoid pillow talk (she loves them), her body is just asking her to find comfort in your cuddle. mikasa likes to fall asleep right after sex because she enjoys feeling the warmth of your body pressed against hers. she truly thinks your arms are her real home, and who are you to say they aren't?

#mikasa x reader #mikasa x y/n #mikasa x female reader #mikasa x you #mikasa ackerman #aot x reader #aot smut #aot x y/n #attack on titan x reader #mikasa smut

[swordcreature]

How do you think our tiefling boys would react to our world if they somehow ended up here?

i always find these so cute, but in my head i'm thinking "they would be terrified and ready to stab someone because they are in a strange world where they can't understand anyone" lol

so to make things easier and cuter let's pretend that

1. there are no language barriers

2. no one is trying to kill them/no one's freaking out because they look like devils

3. they're somewhat aware enough of what's happening to not be scared shitless or severely confused

4. they know they're going back home at some point (i would be acting SO different if i thought i was gonna live in a different world forever vs just visiting lmao)

ty for the request you're the best!

Dammon, Rolan, & Zevlor - A Part of Our World

How the tiefling boys react to coming to our world

Dammon: 

He’s amazed by the advancements we’ve made, slack-jawed at how we’ve managed to bend metal to form buildings that climb so high he can’t see the top, at how we’ve made metal fly without so much as a single spell, at how we’re able to make metal into machines so big they can move the earth itself.  

It’s overwhelming at first and he has so many questions. How does this work? What type of metal is that? What does this do? It never stops.  

But every answer is met with true awe. Dammon loves smithing, loves infernal machinery, and he’s been suddenly transported to a world built around his craft, of course he is inspired.  

He’s the most open-minded of the tieflings when it comes to a new experience. And just like the Hells, even though this place is foreign, unfamiliar, frightening, he’s eager to learn something from it.  

Dammon takes notes on everything he possibly can, sketching out little pictures of the world around him to bring back home.  

I could see him being a bit of a terror just because he breaks everything around him trying to figure out how it works, what makes it tick, so to speak. I mean, how could he truly understand the inner workings of, say, a car without taking it apart piece by piece until he has it down to its bare bones.  

Overall, I think he comes back home with so many good stories to tell of all the fantastical things he’s seen, all of the new ideas he has, and a renewed purpose in his work. 

Rolan: 

Rolan absolutely hates our world. It’s just not made for a guy like him. 

I mean, first off: no magic. His life revolves around magic, it’s an integral part of him. Without it he feels empty and strange, so this world feels very wrong to him. Imagine being connected to the Weave for years and then suddenly having it stripped away. Completely gone. I would think it would feel disorienting at best.  

He finds some interest in speaking to people of this world who practice magic, but it is so entirely different than his own that they're practically talking about two different things. He expected a more tangible magic like the Weave and is disappointed when he learns it’s so vastly incomparable.  

Second: the people. There are so many people here. Pretty much anywhere he goes, the population would be bigger and denser than anything he’s used to. And it’s not like he’s a people person. Not to mention the way humans tend to treat outsiders.  

Despite his absolute discomfort in our world, Rolan is determined to write down everything he can of his experience. Not many mortals from his world get to experience traveling the universes, so cataloging his journey is a must.  

He’ll write a book once he’s home, and it’ll make a big splash in the academic community, he just knows it! 

When he does leave our world for his own, he’s relieved. In his book he makes it sound like this magical wonderland of things beyond most people’s comprehension, but to those close to him he tells them the truth. He was not a fan.  

Zevlor:  

Zevlor is apprehensive at first. This world is strange – he does not know the customs at all. But he's eager to learn.  

He spends his time amongst the people more so than the other two. He is so curious about the traditions of the land, the history of the world, and hearing it from the mouths of the locals is better than getting his hands on any book.  

He immerses himself in the cultures he comes across as much as possible; he eats our food and sings our songs and actually has a really good time with it. 

I think he finds special interest in the history of combat, how our conflicts have changed throughout time. How did we go from swinging swords and shooting arrows to battling wars from across the world?  

Zevlor also tries to teach people of our world about where he comes from. He tells stories from his days as a Hellrider to anyone who will listen and even tries to cook some traditional Elturian food, but it’s hard to do so without the same ingredients.  

Overall, he’s more interested in the shared knowledge of culture and information between our world and his. It brings him comfort finding similarities between such different worlds.  

When he finally can go back home, he shares his stories with the children first, spinning them tales of the people he met and the things he did. How even in such a foreign place there were still nice people willing to help and to share and to be a friend.  

Zevlor is the one who wishes to come back the most.  

#bg3 #bg3 dammon #bg3 rolan #bg3 zevlor #dammon #rolan #zevlor #baldur's gate 3 #my writing #requests/suggestions #dragomermacorn #HCs

[insomniac-101]

Metacrisis Doctor Character Analysis

Sooooo… I heard some of you are still on the fence about Tentoo.

Now, why you would be is completely understandable. I mean, it took me rewatching the show as an adult to really understand the nuance behind his ending but it’s been years, and it truly saddens me to see that there is still so much confusion surrounding his existence. Especially since he essentially reaffirms the overarching message of the show, and without him, it would not be as impactful.

But no fear! I love analyzing this era in particular and so, it would be an honor to share with all of you my interpretation of how he fits in Ten’s overall development as well as the potential questions raised by his existence. 

After all, he is such a great addition to canon and so I wish to spread my excitement now that there is a chance we might see more of him!

(P.s I swear I will get to Ten eventually lol but his character in particular tends to mesh into other character arcs so much, that it is easier to address them in parts rather than all together.)

Now then, let’s set something straight from the get-go. 

Tentoo’s existence does not get in the way of the Doctor and Rose’s romance. It is actually quite the opposite, it only goes to reaffirm how much they love one another. 

How they were essentially made for one another (Literally and figuratively lmao).

So much so, that Ten was essentially split into two as a means of holding onto the hope of keeping her in his life.

To reduce his existence as a mere love rival, in my opinion, is such a disservice to the narrative because not only does it imply that Rose’s ultimate choice to be with Tentoo is shallow but it also does not take into account crucial aspects of the Doctor’s character arc overall. Who by extension, also applies to Tentoo.

During his tenure as the Doctor, we observe Ten's strong inclination to merge with humanity, as he fervently yearns for it. That increasing temptation is what often puts him at odds with his role in the universe, and in turn, compels him to uphold strict barriers between himself and other humans. Even if it means causing harm to himself and the people he holds dear

As the only time lord in the universe, he cannot afford the luxury of possessing a human life, so he attempts to convince himself that his fascination with our way of life is merely admiration, rather than a genuine desire to experience it firsthand. Thus, he considers himself an outsider because he realizes that if he were to succumb to his desire, his happiness in experiencing it would be fleeting.

Despite his longing to experience a different way of life, he cannot bring himself to give up his identity as the last living time lord, as that would mean forfeiting an essential aspect of himself and the final vestiges of his people. Thus, although he may yearn to live a more leisurely existence, he would never do so, as it would entail sacrificing too much. 

Not to mention, it would mean pitting his own needs against those of the world, and his selflessness would never allow that to happen.

At least, not yet anyways.

In spite of his upbringing, his rebellious attitude that made him stand out amongst other time lords made him curious and flighty. Often roaming the universe in an attempt to find strange occurrences that counter his understanding of how it works. He finds joy in living a life on the run, and for a while that is all he really wanted.

However, with constantly moving, there comes a point where one realizes that there is no one to return to. That the thrills only serve as a distraction of what is actually compelling him not to remain stationary, and by not stopping to consider what he is leaving behind, he is not being conscious of the consequences. 

The Doctor's decision to become a wanderer stands in stark contrast to the nature of his people.

A problem that only worsens once the time war effectively orphans him.

Traveling and saving others allows him to put aside all his self-loathing and forget what it feels like to be utterly alone, but it is not enough to fill the void of loss. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying this is a solely negative thing by any means, but the manner in which he utilizes it is harmful because it comes at the cost of never changing his tendencies to self-sabotage. Given that he doesn't stick around long enough to have it catch up to him.

Frankly, it enables his assertion that he doesn’t deserve happiness and so he never seeks it out, in spite of knowing what it is he wants.

In his eyes, it is easier to let go than to let in. 

To fall deeper to cynicism and negativity because it protects him from further pain

 And boy does the narrative pull the ultimate uno card on him, flipping his whole perception on his manner of living by introducing one major character. 

The individual, who practically embodies this very temptation is none other than Rose Tyler.

It is her introduction into his life that almost seems to further prod at this desire of his. Before,it appeared that he watched human life from a distance simply because it was less painful than being alone and grieving the loss of his own people. But with her, he is left to consider whether he could actually experience something as deeply fulfilling as love. Whether a man drenched in the blood of his kind is worthy of change and forgiveness. It is because of this that his final act as Nine is one of self-sacrifice, as he dies hoping that this new form will embrace the humanity and kindness that she utilized to save him in his darkest moments

But between him and humanity will always be a barrier, which is all the more tragic once one considers how Ten was born out of Nine’s pursuit of it. It makes the unattainable nature of it, all the more hurtful.

Now I can name multiple examples of this longing being implied all throughout the RTD era but I assume most people know what they are. I mean they’re not exactly subtle lol but I urge you to keep those in mind as I continue.

With that in mind, however, I can now address the most overt display of this desire of his and that is none other than in the episode “Human Nature.”

Within this story, we are introduced to John Smith. A persona, that was curated by the Tardis as a means of saving him from falling victim to a gang of evil shapeshifting aliens. Here, we are shown a version of the Doctor that is weirdly familiar but at the same time, completely different.

However what I make of these differences is not really to prove that they’re so different that they're incomparable, but rather that they share way more than one would think at first glance.

John Smith is unremarkable. He is kind, intelligent, witty, and imaginative in the ways the doctor is but his demeanor is drastically different. More often than not, being seen as quiet and shy, and more of a follower than a leader.

I don’t think him taking on the role of a soldier in his final moments is a coincidence. Rather it is a testament to who the time lord is: a traumatized man who has a knack for finding himself in the same position over and over again because he has a tendency of repeating mistakes.

Think about it, in the war, the Doctor was not one who stood to the side and never took part in the violence. He admits that he took an active part in the fight, with him being the one who ultimately stopped it against his better judgment. This is to say that this more obedient version of himself (that seemingly seems fine with physical punishment and sacrificing the life of his students, if it is not under his call) isn’t really all that foreign to us given that at one point, he assumed a similar role in the time war. His ability to resort to violence, even when human, is a testament to this. That he is bound to his past deeds and that a human life will not change that he is deeply changed by this event in time lord history.

He is more prone to violence when prompted and he is not one to disregard an order that is given to him. He even seems to be more classist by nature of living in the current time period. So much so that he doesn’t seem to form much of a bond with Martha in spite of them spending so much time together under her employment.

Although he is brave when it matters, there are moments when Ten can be rather cowardly. And that holds true to both John and the Doctor, with both seemingly running the moment they are confronted with the consequences that come as a result of their impulsive decisions. This knack for running from their problems never impedes their awareness that what they are doing is incorrect but nonetheless, it's that temptation to defy the unavoidable that makes them avoid confrontation. Resorting to denial as a scapegoat, before ultimately returning to do what is right. 

While the Doctor's innate selflessness sets him apart from others of his kind, he is still susceptible to making similar mistakes.

That haughty, and arrogant nature of his people are the very same qualities that can be found in him. This is especially shown through the manner in which John interacts with people he perceives as below him.

The culture of time lords is quite classist by nature. They assumed themselves to be the rulers of the universe and claimed superiority over other races because of their advancements. It is because of this complete disregard for others that aren’t themselves that they suffer greatly in the war.

With that said, it is because of this that I think he is able to assume a more indifferent demeanor towards the servants in his household. Mainly because a huge part of who the Doctor became was a direct result of the opposition he held toward the beliefs of his own people. He found their rules arbitrary and outdated, but just because he knew better does not mean he is exempt from repeating their mistakes even when he is conscious of who he is.

No this manner of assuming self importance takes on a different form, when he is aware of it.

He often assumes himself untouchable and the wisest in the room, and wields his status as a time lord as a means of making sly comments toward humankind. Of course, one could argue it is harmless as it does not come from a place of malicious intent. However his assumed superiority can make him incapable of recognising his own faults as a person, which can lead to disastrous results. Especially when he seemingly doesn’t consider the consequences of his involvement in other people’s lives.

Something that Joan points out.

“Answer me this, just one question, that’s all. If the Doctor never had visited us…never chosen this place on a whim, would anyone here have died?”

To completely deprive him of his timelord nature, would mean to leave him vulnerable to adopting the very same attitudes he resented in his own culture. This is why John Smith does not respect the opinions of his employees, in spite of knowing better than to underestimate the importance of the people around him. It would make him unable to recognize the patterns of discrimination elsewhere as he is no longer privy to the wisdom he gathered from his years of living.

By completely adopting humanity, he is none the wiser to fall into their faults as individuals.

That being said, this quiet side of him is really not that strange either once one considers that we have seen that Ten in particular has a knack for hiding his feelings behind a mask of cheerfulness. This version of himself may not be boisterous and loud, but that does not make him any less thoughtful. Shown to have strong stances on certain matters even if he doesn't share them with others. He is more honest with his feelings, and with this comes perhaps the biggest indicator that John Smith shares a lot more with the Doctor than we initially thought.

John Smith falls in love.

It is no coincidence that in this very episode, he develops romantic feelings for the school nurse and he has a dream about Rose Tyler. One where she keeps walking away but all the more, he is motivated to follow. All for the sake of recovering a “perfect Rose.”

Even when he is fully human and not aware of who she is, there is a part of the Doctor that fiercely hangs onto her, manifesting in his dreams. The thought of being with her and finding her, is of the utmost importance even when he cannot seemingly remember why. Which goes to show you just how much the Doctor treasures the love he has for her. It is she, that is able to tempt these feelings even in her absence because she is the reason they exist to begin with.

This inclusion of her in the story ties his pursuit of humanity into a pursuit for her. Making both the main motivation behind his need to experience it, even if he is not fully aware of why.

“You knew this all along and yet you watched while Miss Redfern and I …”

“I didn’t know how to stop you. He gave me a list of things to watch out for, but that wasn’t included.”

“What falling in love? That didn’t even occur to him?

“No”

“Then what sort of man is that?”

This is why John Smith expressing horror at the thought of there being a version of himself that cannot love someone is so heartbreaking. Because through him we know more than ever that that is not true, that he is more than capable of loving others as the Doctor but the problem is that he never would allow himself to do so. It is not a matter of whether or not he can, but rather why he can't.

When John chooses to sacrifice himself, it mirrors the same actions the Doctor takes in his present life. Choosing to leave behind what he wants for the sake of what the universe requires him to do. 

So when he reasons with Joan that John Smith is still a part of him, he means it. For it is an expression of the Doctor at his most vulnerable and honest, that allows for the existence of someone like John Smith. But alas, his life is not a life he can assume given his alien nature.

But with this choice to live on, as is, we are only left to come up with a single conclusion.

In order to live a life that is both fulfilling and meaningful, the Doctor can neither be fully human nor a timelord. 

Although he is a timelord, the overwhelming sense of loneliness that he experiences is debilitating. He can try to reason his way around needing companionship and love, but no amount of thinking will deny that it is something he desperately craves.

Humanity provides him with all the necessary attributes he lacks, but in exchange, it demands that he sets aside his principles as a protector of time. To put aside his own fears of seeing those he loves wither away if it means he'll get to know them for the entirety of their short lives. 

Individually, achieving either one is impossible since pursuing a single path would leave the other side of himself unfulfilled. He is at war with himself, essentially.

Therefore, he must endeavor to discover a balance between the two divergent viewpoints, instead of attempting to abandon one in favor of the other.

….Guess who embodies middle ground is?

Tentoo represents that balance, down to the biological level.

In order to understand why though you have to understand one crucial detail: Ten and Tentoo are the same person.

What Tentoo is, in relation to Ten, is himself lol

A regeneration that went wrong because the regeneration energy that was meant to heal the time lord body, was siphoned into his once freshly regenerated hand. In other words, instead of remaining within one body like the usual regenerative process, it was put into a separate vessel that came from the original body. Which allowed it to regenerate the body it was missing, and essentially created what would be a second Doctor.

The reason why this process differed from previous regenerations is due to the fact that the transferred regeneration energy was already partially depleted, resulting in a reduced dosage that could facilitate partial healing but not a complete regeneration.

(It was established prior to the Christmas invasion that there are limitations to the cellular energy that a time lord uses to regenerate, mainly in the sense that it can run out. When in small quantities, however, it can be used to heal smaller injuries if it is used within the first 15 hours of a regeneration cycle. It's this small amount he has left that allows him to regenerate the hand he lost to begin with.)

We are aware of this fact because the time lord Doctor utilized a portion of the energy to recover from the Dalek's attack, but not a sufficient amount to trigger a full regeneration. This is why he sends the rest into his severed hand, because if not, the cycle would have proceeded.

Due to this, however, the energy seems to not be able to proceed with anything it was planned for. So it sits on standby, not by choice, but because the hand itself is technically a regenerated hand. It can't do much other than wait until it receives more energy from the original time lord body or find another source of energy that is compatible to recover the body of the disembodied hand in its entirety.

So what ends up happening?

It's Donna.

Donna is what ends up happening.

Upon touching it out of curiosity, Donna appears to experience no immediate negative effects.. This serves as another indication that the remaining regenerative energy was minimal, as we, the viewers, are well aware that the standard dosage would be detrimental to humans.

However, this is where it gets interesting because seemingly the energy is utilized in a manner that is unlike any prior regeneration process. 

As previously mentioned, it can be deduced that the reason why other time lords never considered becoming human as a way to avoid regeneration was due to their sense of superiority. They did not view humans as equals, therefore, a human existence would not be regarded as advantageous.

Furthermore, their society places little importance on outward appearance due to the frequency with which time lords undergo transformations. Thus, this occurrence is primarily a result of Ten's deviation from their viewpoint on regeneration. He perceives it as a form of dying, akin to the experience of a human, even though this does not apply to him.

It is worth considering the anatomy of a time lord when attempting to comprehend how he appeared to transform into a hybrid. According to our understanding, although they appear human on the outside, a time lord's body contains numerous organs that are absent in a human body. As a result, it is theoretically more intricate than that of a human, but at the same time, similar enough to be somewhat compatible as a point of comparison.

Given the limited amount of energy remaining, it would be logical for the energy to use a human body as a template when attempting to essentially create a new body out of nothing.Not only because Donna was the only one available to touch it, but because the anatomical similarities as well as the less complex nature of a human body would prove to be easier to make than a fully timelord one.

In other words, the regenerative process was utilized as a means of healing both bodies without resulting in a complete regeneration, which is what makes this instance unique.

(that we know from prior scenes, at times, requires so much energy to heal that that it is capable of damaging the Tardis)

This is why he says that he essentially came out of Donna. Because in a way, he did. His body was fashioned off of her biological makeup as a means of compensating for the lack of cellular energy used to heal his body normally.

This is why it in turn makes her half time lord, because the energy changed her according to the metacrisis. Transferring Time lord DNA into her, as a means of making up for the loss of DNA she experienced in the process.

But where the two differ is in creation. Donna was already human. Herbody is that of a full human, not of a hybrid. Her brain in particular is not capable of handling the centuries of knowledge/memory of a timelord and so that is why her body eventually gives out. That is why, the Doctor has to lock her memories away.

Because theoretically, it is easier to make an immortal body mortal. Given that their body is meant to be extremely resistant to factors that would usually decimate a mortal one, but the same cannot be said about the opposite as we are far more delicate.

Tentoo though, he's chillin. 

Not only because his body is able to effectively restore itself with that leftover energy and the human boost, but also because his entire body is made to handle both timelord and human aspects. He will not suffer the same fate as Donna because he is born as both. 

They're in perfect harmony within his body, unlike Donna whose human aspect was being taken over by the superior time lord genes.

This is why they are fundamentally the same person: Ten and Tentoo.

Because not only do they come from the same body, but the same regenerative energy as well. This is also why they share the same memories. The regeneration energy appeared after he was shot by the dalek ray, and so, that moment was effectively the point by which their shared consciousness stopped. No longer existing in a sole body, but two.

It is because of this same shared energy that the appearance of neither changes: because it was utilized to heal both vessels and abort the regenerative process.

(Also it technically did take up a regeneration canonically hence why I called it a sort of botched regeneration. Which would make sense, given the amount of energy that was used to carry out the healing of two bodies.)

In summary, everything that makes the Doctor, the Doctor, is still in both bodies.

They're not twins, they're the same man through and through. Down to the manner in which they're born, with both effectively existing out of their love for Rose and humanity.

In the same way that the doctor claims that Tentoo was born out of hatred and war, it is his love and wishes to appease her that spawned his existence. So really the differences between the two are almost non-existent if not for one crucial detail: unlike the time lord, Tentoo is not bound by the obligation to serve the universe.

This is where things get fascinating.

Now that there are two bodies, they essentially function as parallel versions of the same man. 

They are different, not because they're not both the Doctor, but because their circumstances allow them to make different choices. From there on out, both will inevitably grow to be different people. As Tentoo essentially embodies the most authentic representation of a human Doctor, having had the option to abandon his responsibility as the guardian of the universe, he provides us with an insight into what the Doctor would be like at his most honest.

That is why Tentoo acts on impulse and commits genocide. Not because Ten wouldn't have done the same given the chance to give into the temptation, but because the fact that he is not fully time lord affords him the privilege to do whatever the hell he wants. He is not bound to the obligation to put the wellbeing of the universe above his own personal interest, so he erredicates them as a means of protecting the people he loves. Choosing to prioritize the people he cares for even if it comes at the expense of the dalek race

He is, effectively, free.

This is why him choosing to spend his life with Rose is such a major decision. Why when prompted by Donna, he chooses to confess his love for Rose in her ear. Despite having the freedom to choose anything, what he desires most is her. 

This revelation solidifies that this Doctor also has deep love for her, and it also implies that this is likely what the Doctor would have chosen as well, had he been given the option to leave his responsibilities behind.

Through Tentoo, we get insight into who the Doctor would be if not for his duty. A person who has the means to express themselves without any apprehension of potentially outliving their loved ones. In simpler terms, someone who can evolve and grow without the burden of guilt for being the only survivor of their kind constantly plaguing their mind. At present, this version of himself will never be alone again and can fully immerse himself in a dimension of existence that was previously only possible through John Smith.

This is why the Doctor seemingly resents him because he wishes he had the freedom to choose this life. 

It’s due to this that the notion of them being romantic rivals is also ludicrous because they are the same man. 

Had it been under different circumstances, the one who would have confessed his feelings and given Rose the chance to choose would have been the timelord. But because he is not afforded the liberty to not consider his alien nature and by extension his obligations, he cannot bring himself to initiate it. 

This is why Rose choosing to kiss Tentoo in front of the time lord doctor is crucial because it is her way of expressing that the love she extends to Tentoo is also his. That she understands that they're the same man but that ultimately, she understands that his duty is what needs to be prioritized. It is a goodbye, but also an act of gratitude for baring the extent of his feelings to her through Tentoo.

Their happy ending is not coming at the cost of Ten’s, no, rather it is what ensures that he will have one at all.

But consider this, does this not raise some major questions about who the meta crisis doctor can become?

Think about it.

Since he is no longer bound to the role of the universe's protector, there is no longer a necessity for him to act in accordance with his previous principles or obligations to do what is right.

Although Ten usually aimed to make selfless choices, he must now prioritize his own life. The stakes have shifted, and he can no longer place others' needs above his own, especially since his newfound life with his loved ones can be taken away at any moment.

As a human, he would come to understand that he cannot simply leave behind the problems he creates for others to handle. He must face the consequences of his actions and learn to maintain good relationships with those around him. With staying in one place, he bears the responsibility of building trust with others and can no longer solely rely on his reputation to get by.

Remember, he is effectively starting from scratch in Pete’s universe. He has no background on their history nor the tools he wielded when they first landed there. While waiting for the tardis to grow, he would have to effectively assume a human life until it reaches maturity.

With that in mind, he also no longer has any semblance of power over anyone. He is practically on the same level of awareness as anyone else albeit with more wisdom. Meaning he cannot hold what he knows about the future over others, and will have to adjust on collaborating with others to get things done even if it comes at the expense of his own ego lmao.

Most importantly, he can no longer stew in that self-hatred he is so privy to, and with time he will have to relearn what it means to forgive not only others but himself. To put aside that hatred and embrace the time he has with the woman he loves, even if it means confronting parts of himself he is not fond of. This will involve intimately acquainting himself with the perspective of humans to a degree that was impossible before. 

Such as in the way we humans seemingly uphold survival above all else.

Or how our morality can be very fluid in certain situations, as we are not afforded the guarantee of another life.

He will have to learn to cope with the helplessness all mortals feel when confronted by death and that in turn, could either harden him further or make him more aware of his own faults as an outsider. To understand where he went wrong in assuming that his human companions would sacrifice their perspective as a means of adapting his own.

That isn't to say that it is all bad though.

Just different.

Because this change in circumstance can either prove to be very detrimental to Ten or beneficial, and it all depends on how he manages to cope with it.

It makes him unpredictable, in a way that Ten was never afforded the privilege to be.

This could potentially demonstrate how a harmonious balance between Ten's human and Time Lord aspects would manifest in reality. To see what it would actually mean to have a time lord assume a life as a mortal. Reason being, that up until then, he only really saw humanity from a distance. This experience can aid him in developing a deeper understanding of humanity and its shortcomings as well as those of his own people.

Admittedly, John Smith served as a reference point for us. However, that modified version of the Doctor was oblivious to the gravity of his own existence. He possessed his own unique identity, with his Time Lord essence locked away. This highlights why adopting a purely human existence would never be suitable for him, as it would entail relinquishing his Time Lord perspective.

The sorrow of Ten's story lies in the fact that he could never truly embody both aspects of himself simultaneously. He was always bound by his alien nature and unable to fully embrace his human longings. This is why his story appears to have two different outcomes - with his human persona living a joyous existence, while his Time Lord form regenerates in isolation.

In his final moments, he chooses to reject this fate and resist the need for balance, instead becoming increasingly desperate to avoid regeneration. Consequently, he succumbs to the same power-hungry inclinations as his predecessors, as he tries to exert control over his fate without addressing the underlying problem.

“Well exactly look at you! Not remotely important! But me? I can do so much more! So much more! but this is what I get. My reward, well it’s not fair!....I’ve lived too long”

He could have done so much more, done so much differently if only he would have not put himself in a box. He did what was right, what was proper, yet the sacrifices done at his expense led to the same outcome.

The issue lies in his unwillingness to make compromises and achieve a state of equilibrium between his two perspectives. Instead of seeking balance, he retreats to his alien and disconnected nature, which creates a barrier between him and those around him. His decision to not confront his fate as a solitary wanderer earlier, prevented him from expressing gratitude to those who loved him when they needed it most. His need for distance denied them the chance to truly comprehend his appreciation.

He is solitary because he never allowed himself to consider an alternative, and this realization dawns on him too late. Now that everyone has departed to follow their own paths, he finds himself back where he began. 

His failure to take personal risks and develop attachments has fulfilled the very curse he sought to break.

Ultimately, what frightened him the most was not the idea of losing the people he grew to love, but the prospect of being alone while they continued to live on without him.

“Yeah what about you? Who have you got now?”

“No one, i’m traveling alone. I thought it was better alone..but I did some things that went wrong. I need..”

The central message of the RTD era is that happiness often comes at a cost and not every enjoyable experience will lead to a happy ending. However, the theme is not that an unhappy ending diminishes the value or significance of the moment, but quite the opposite - that the joy and meaning of the experience make it worth the cost, regardless of the outcome.

The RTD era's narrative encourages embracing the uncertainty of life and finding joy in the present moment, even if the outcome is uncertain or potentially disappointing. These moments can help alleviate the pain of difficult times, inspire risk-taking, and lead to unexpected achievements, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling life rather than a long one.

Create a life that is customized to your individuality and maturity gained through experiences, rather than one that fixates on regret and what-ifs.

The Doctor finds it difficult to fully embrace the present moment due to the constant reminder that everything is fleeting and temporary, causing him to always be looking towards the future.

Tentoo, on the other hand, is anchored in the present because his perspective will evolve through his exposure to humanity. He will learn to fully embrace the joy and sorrow of living life to the fullest, cherishing every moment, even the mundane ones. He knows that life is temporary and that every day is a precious gift, which is why he will live each moment to its fullest. Despite the inevitable challenges that will come his way, he will remain optimistic, confident that his joy will only grow as he continues to live.

His ability to balance both his human and Time Lord nature allows him to fully embrace all aspects of his life, without giving preference to one over the other. Which in turn, further establishes his unique identity and reinforces the qualities that made him a beloved incarnation of the Doctor.

Tentoo is able to love without hesitation, expressing his affection to those he cares for and acknowledging the importance of emotions that were once discouraged amongst his own kind.

In other words, be Tentoo.

(not the mass murder part though lol)

Be the version of yourself that doesn't hold back and don't commit the same mistakes that the Doctor did out of fear.

So yall be more kind to my boy!

#tentoo x rose #tentoo #tentoorose #doctor x rose #rose tyler #timepetals #ten #ten x rose #10th doctor #metacrisis doctor #character analysis #rambles #long reads #doctor who #rtd era #Just wanted to share my perspective #This has been bothering me for a few days and so #human nature

[fob4ever]

patrick interview (iheartradio/mike jones) 2.28.23

link

[on people calling smfsd fob’s comeback] “i don’t think we went anywhere! we’ve been very very busy!”

he “very earnestly” loves smfsd a lot- it’s in the running for being his favorite fob album! and it means a lot to him that lftos was received so well.

“i have a day job! i score a children’s show” “you have a lot of day jobs actually!” “i have more than i need- its kindof overwhelming!”

“when you’re scoring, you’re sitting in a studio by yourself [...] and then i get plucked out of my studio and get put on a stage with fire and explosions and stuff- it feels very sudden and dramatic!”

“during mania i would go in the studio and take my voice and bend it [digitally] into completely different sounds [...] i was pretty satisfied with that experiment, it was fun”

“when we did records like ioh/fad, it was like [our] eyes were too big for [our] stomach- we had all these big ideas but we would go into the studio and have no idea what we were doing. we were still very green in terms of how to translate those ideas. now, all four of us have had so many experiences [in music] that we kinda know what we're doing and what we're talking about. and i was like, "man, if we could go back to that place, to that kind of studio, to working with neal avron [and] bring in these new experiences- what would that be like?" [it was about] bringing in these new influences and experiences into a studio and letting that sit. instead of having a specific sound we were going for, i just wanted to see what we all do now.”

he talks about wrigley and then does a sports announcer voice/impression

interviewer asks him if its daunting to have the whole year already planned out in terms of touring: “no, because i have very severe adhd so i almost forget that i am the same person in the future. i look at the calendar and i'm like, "oh, future patrick will deal with that! today patrick is doing this.”

he doesnt have a studio right now womp womppp. he’s inbetween studios atm. half the time he’s working at a desk in a hotel. he works off a little keyboard [as seen in the lftos bts vid] and then sends it off to an orchestra

patrick starts interviewing the interviewer lol “where’s the craziest place you’ve taken your radio show?”

he wrote the hulk rollercoaster theme imagining what he’d do if he got to score a hulk movie : )

universal has invited patrick to go ride the hulk rollercoaster but he doesnt like rollercoasters and is terrified of heights lol. during scoring, he scored it to a POV video of the ride but even then he still Felt it lmao

interviewer: “so no sports, no rollercoasters, but you do a great job at music so that’s all that matters!” patrick: “i’m kindof a one note guy. my one note is lots of notes!”

he wants to do a zelda score for nintendo! breath of the wild is his favorite game they’ve made, but one thing he misses about it is that its very quiet musically. he loves the ocarina of time soundtrack.

#beard.... :) #recap

[stillsolo]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN. respond to the prompts out of character !

what made you pick up the current muse(s) you have? oh, where do i even begin?  well, i suppose i should start with how long sw has been in my life.  ANH was the first movie my mother ever saw when she visited the USA; she saw it with my grandmother ( and subsequently developed a massive crush on harrison, so indiana jones became a huge part of my childhood too lol ).  for this reason, my mother introduced my brother and I to sw when we were actual babies.  then, when the prequels came out, it’s all me and my brother consumed.  from the movies themselves to the original clone wars cartoon to the PS2 games to the novels/book series.  we watched it on a tiny portable player for every trip, and every time my relatives needed us to go away to let the adults talk lol.  it also helped our comprehension of english so much. i can’t recall a time in which sw hasn’t been present in my life! before i joined the tumblr swrpc, i kept to myself in the prequels community, wrote fanfic, and rped anakin on skype.  he’s always been a character that hit a little too close to home in one too many ways.  the main parallel i have with him (that doesn’t relate to his mental issues haha) is his love/devotion/attachment to his mother.  it’s difficult for me to explain without getting into the aspects of my culture (孝順 / filial piety), but in short, i am cantonese; if my mother asked me for my thumb tomorrow, i would give her my arm today.  anakin’s love for his mother, his determination to free her from slavery at an early age, was very touching.  EPII has been memed to oblivion, yes, but the pain i feel when anakin doesn’t get to hear his mother tell him she loves him one last time before she dies, and knowing that it haunts him for the rest of his life (eu), makes me want to throw myself out a window lmao  i have an extremely close relationship with my parents; this sort of pain is absolutely gutting for someone like me. anyway, when i joined the tumblr swrpc, writing han solo was never the plan.  i originally wanted to write luke but ended up changing my mind at the last second.  I’d written well over a dozen fics with han at that point, but was nowhere near confident, so i thought of it as more of an experiment. guess that doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, because if you really think about it, since the day i started writing him in fics, he hasn’t stopped butting into my brain.  in fact, he’s been harassing me ever since—to the point that i even switched from writing luke to him… lol given my upbringing and my mother’s love for him, han has always been my childhood hero, as well as my brother’s.  our dad was our han solo.  the nostalgic and familial associations run so deep, it’s difficult to articulate.  we share many traits, right down to his universally agreed-upon zodiac sign (sagittarius); i know han solo like the back of my hand—and it’s probably because i wanted to be just like him when i grew up.

is there anything you don’t like to write? character death.  if i have to say another, it’s when people conflate harrison with the character he plays and then decides to address that in a thread.  harrison was a ladies man back in the 80s, and that’s fine, but that doesn’t mean the same for han.  i hate seeing the conflation between the two.  not sure if this happens as often anymore, but there was a time when fics/threads/even han rpers would lean into it, by default, thus totally destroying his character in my eyes.  i mean, write it as a storyline, that’s cool and fine, but infidelity has never been inherently part of his character.  i will die on this fucking hill.

is there anything you really enjoy writing? most unpopular opinion ever: action sequences.  critical situations, fast paced action, thriller scenes featuring immediate, life-threatening circumstances.  i love writing that which exhibits a sense of urgency and tension, with sprinklings of emotional depth and contemplative introspective moments.  scenes with internal conflict combined with aforementioned external events.  even evading enemy forces, sustaining minor/major injuries, dressing wounds.  dunno why those are always the most fun to me.  aside from that?  romance/romantic angst.  i’ve had many writing partners over the years, and each one thought they could outdo me in writing romantic angst.  sometimes, the psychosomatic pain of heartbreak isn’t far from feeling like you’ve lost a limb in battle.

how do you come up with headcanons? by being the most annoying, meticulous person ever.  i’m extremely detail oriented; when i see incongruities in my own work, i perish.  so, when i come up with headcanons, i have to consider all factors that may affect the outcome of whatever question i’ve posed in my mind and feel the need to justify my choices, for whatever reason, by tying it back to XYZ.  my headcanons must align with my muse’s personality, their environment from childhood to adulthood, their current circumstances, and if it’s an AU, how it mirrors canon events.  canon/eu is everything imo, because they are their own choices; it’s what shaped them into the character we know them as.  ofc, this is my process and opinion, so make of that what you will.

do you write in silence or do you play music? no music, no tv.  sometimes people talking is too much for me.  i have adhd and my medication only helps so much.  i will absolutely start writing down the conversation or lyrics playing in the background lol

do you plan your replies or wing them? plotting vs planning replies is different to me.  plotting gives me a foundation, but it can’t be too confining.  to plan a reply is to block out each moment.  if you trap me, i will always deviate; so i wing everything, even when i have a foundation.

do you enjoy shipping? yes, absolutely!  i’m not sure why people tend to assume otherwise, but i’m more open to it than people think.  i’ve never cared about who you write, if they’re in the sw franchise, or even what era of sw etc etc  never given a shit about what people think; if our muses click, they click.  honestly, some of the best ships i’ve had with han, as in the most enjoyable and enlightening of his character, have been ‘crack ships’.

what’s your alias/name? vin, vince, vincent.  vincent van hoe.  trash bin vin.

age? 27!

birthday? dec 2!

favorite color? silver.  if that’s not a color to you, then blue.

favorite song? you can’t expect me to… well, ‘in your eyes’ by the weeknd has been up there for a long time.

last movie you watched? star wars: the clone wars (2008)

last show you watched? … the clone wars lol

last song you listened to? billie jean - MJ.

favorite food? my mother’s 番茄炒蛋 ( egg and tomato stir fry ), unagi, freshly baked breads, fresh fruit …

favorite season? i get mostly tropical weather, but i love a cold winter.

do you have a tumblr best friend? unfortunately, so many people have left the site over the years, but i'm grateful to call these people some of the closest friends i have in the rpc: @techniiciian @desiccation @vibraea @rcvanchist @sgterso @voxcrystallis

tagged : @debelltio thank you for thinking of me!! tagging : if you're still reading this, i tag you!

#( . i hope i didn't bore anyone to death haha i already cut out so much skdfjksdf #( . im a bit of a Yapper y'see‚ and i can ramble about sw stuff like nobody's business #( . anyway just know that i always come back to han‚ no matter what. he's so annoying lmao #˒・*。◞ ( dash game ) *･ﾟ✧ ⎸ ғᴏʀᴛᴜɴᴇ ғᴀᴠᴏʀs ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏʟᴅ‚ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ’ᴍ ғᴇᴇʟɪɴɢ ʟᴜᴄᴋʏ. #˒・*。◞ ( ooc ) *･ﾟ✧ ⎸ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏғ ᴄᴀʀʙᴏɴɪᴛᴇ. #long post ts

[laurzzz]

I love the responds to my asks!

I can see it so clearly with the princess getting hit on in front of sun lol

I love the fact that moon is a fluster boi, might not show it, which makes me love it even more

Its so interresting with the responses to eclipse in all of them

Oh i adore the last part sososossosoSO much! Them learning what happend and just going "nuh uh this princess is ours get our own" and then getting down to the killing buisness of things.

Also got another one

How would the bois react to them hurting the princess? Both physical and emotional?

How would sun and moon react to accidentally hurting the princess during training? Like either them falling and hurting their wrist when trying to catch their fall, or maybe accidentally with their weapons during a duel.

OOOOO how would the boys react to the princess kissing them on the cheek for the first time!!!?

AND how would they react to someone kissing the princesses hand/cheek right in front of them in a clear way to provoke them!

Also good on you to focus on the stuff ya need to! I know you will do amazing on that animation<3 remember to take breaks thoooo or i shall come and bonk thy on thy head/j

Hehe yeah! Sun would actually not just grab you but would even lift you up like a doll just to get you OUTTA that conversation with the flirting stranger. Moon is just so used to being focused and in work mode so much that he forgets he can feel strong emotions and when he does it catches him so off-guard most of the time LMAO

And yeah, as amusing as Eclipse is described in my answered asks thus far, it's not a fun experience when you're on the bad side of things. He may be a "Backup" Assassin, but he's the kind of "Backup" you'd ready on dire circumstances because you know he can deal with it almost easily

Anyway, for the questions! All under the cut as usual!

Hurting The Princess (Physical And Emotional):

Sun and Moon - both Sun and Moon have already expected hurting the Princess during their training sessions. Not to any malicious intent, but just because it's unavoidable. They assume that the Princess already knew this before agreeing to their offer of training her for the sake of her freedom so anytime you would get bruises and cuts from training, the best they can do is pause for a moment to let you recollect yourself, or help you up if it's THAT bad. Of course, they don't actually put in their 100% when training you so you won't die or get too injured that the castle servants report their worries back to the Majesties of the Palace. But if things go too awry then they can always rely on potions. I don't think I've said it here before but it's tagged in the fic that this universe is Arcanepunk Genre! Which basically means that magic and technology co-exists. Although, it's usually magic powering technology but I'm putting my spin on it as not just two things dependent on one another but also two independent things together. ANYWAY! I won't be giving an answer on the emotional hurt one... I want the answer to that to be given through the fic once that scene happens hehehe

Eclipse - physically, he would stop whatever he's doing and immediately tend to you! He doesn't like seeing his loved ones hurt. Even Sun and Moon being created solely for their assassination capabilities was something Eclipse wouldn't have wanted if he had the choice. Emotionally, well... I'll let the fic answer that for me too hehe

The Princess Giving Them A Kiss:

Sun - it basically goes like this: Doesn't get why you did what you just did, you explain why you did it, he realizes that he's now warming up from fluster, then tease you for it only causing you to kiss him another time which makes him heat up so much he runs away and returns minutes later with a gift maybe

Moon - oh boy haha I like this reaction in my head that I actually wanna do it to him myself, but anyway this is how it goes: Freezes up and completely silences himself, you ask if he's okay, he takes a moment to mutter out a short "Y-yes", you kiss him again, he still stays silent and frozen until you decide to do something else or he gets taken out of the trance by Sun's chatter

Eclipse - his reaction would be charming, very charming: First he'd get surprised then you would tease him but he teases back, leaning closer to your face as he taunts you with words of promises in returning the gesture, once he has kissed back he will lean in for another until you're the one flustered because honestly the Princess is no match for Eclipse's confidence even if she knows she's hot shit herself

The Princess Receiving A Kiss To Provoke The Assassins:

Sun - impulsively challenges the stranger to a fist fight and would pummel them with such ease. He'd only let the stranger live because he doesn't want the Princess to connect the dots that he would literally kill people just for her and just so he (and Moon) can keep her. My boy's a little bit possessive

Moon - asks the Princess to do something as a part of their "training" so she would leave the scene THEN speaks of death threats right up to the stranger as he lifts the sharper curve of his sickle to their chin. His eyes have flickered from his relaxed mode black and red to his kill mode burning scarlet, he's not messing around

Eclipse - similarly to Moon, he'd ask the Princess to leave the scene for reasons that are "unrelated" and tell threats of demise to the stranger. But unlike Moon, uhm. He will actually kill the person before the day ends. Those are not threats, they are promises

Ack thank you for the questions!! And I appreciate the reminder <33 I've actually been watching Kung Fu Panda lately so yes I've been taking breaks too. I love the trilogy so much... I watched the scene where the "MY SEANONING" meme from my banner comes from (KFP 1!) and I recorded myself excitedly reacting to it and sent it to my friends AHAHAH very fun time. I'll work on animating again after I finish the 4th movie :0 it'll be my first time watching it <33

#food #majestic oppositions #cw violence #man i just love the idea of the three robots killing for the Princess #it's like having three massive dogs around you LMAO #such a delight

[toadallytickles]

NEST 2023

NEST 2023 was absolutely amazing for me! Originally I thought I couldn’t go because Clay couldn’t and he’s usually my ride! I ended up being able to go because our friend Timmi @DynamicUno was attending too! So I got a ride with him, redeemed my free NEST ticket, and signed up to volunteer as a DM to share a volunteer suite!

I was really anxious about not attending with Clay this year; NEST is the largest tickle gathering and I don’t do well approaching people. I’ve been attending NEST and other tickle gatherings since 2019, though I haven’t felt really established in those in-person communities. Clay is usually my safety-net person. I surprisingly ended up doing extremely well, talking to a whole bunch of new and familiar people, and deepening connections I’ve made in the past! I somehow had like 8 sessions.. that is not like of me; one was pick-up with someone I just met at NEST, another I’ve seen a little at gatherings earlier this year. The rest were people I’ve known from previous gatherings for some years, and play just aligned at NEST this time!

I also had to make a boundary leading up to NEST that Clay couldn’t tickle me as I wanted to be ripe and ready for planned sessions! Sucked, but also fun as I easily get ghost-tickled when Clay wiggles his fingers at me, but whatever honestly~ (〃^▽^〃)ゞ

We’ve always arrived at NEST on Friday, mostly a chill day with orientation. It was a luxury to drive down on Thursday, and have all day Friday to catch up and hangout with people! The border security guy was super nice to us, he said he likes to have his back tickled, but that’s it lmao~. I went into my first Dunkin’ Donuts too (didn’t order anything) and they have Timbit-like treats called Munchkins.. also the Tim Hortons’ as you go south are so different from Canada’s, it’s so weird.. alternate universe Tim’s…

Friday morning I get to go on a Target run with Nate @Sensualswitch10 as I wanted to pick up snacks for the weekend! Then we get McDonald’s for breakfast! We had a bit of a secret project going on in his room too~. 🤫 I really appreciated hanging out with Nate casually as for play and making connections I really need time to physically acclimate, and he understood I needed that and made himself a safe space while I didn’t have Clay. I was supposed to reserve my ticklishness for a session, but we ended up casually playing on his bed, just a tickle massage that turned to pinning~!

I finally get to play with Sam @WickedSensations & Frecks @Fiona_Red (@WickedCaress on Instagram)! I knew of their content before NEST ‘22, and when we finally met last year, we had an instant mutual connection and attraction! NEST ‘22 didn’t work out for us play-wise, though we stayed in-touch online and negotiated play for NEST ‘23! It finally happened and it was super fun and flustering! To be gang tickled by a couple~ (≧ω≦ ʃƪ)💕. Thank you for the pretty bruises, Sam! And thank you Frecks for being my first wlw tickle session!

I FINALLY got tickled by Jeff @sptfrtkl in his Blue Brat! We’d see each other at past gatherings and chat, and have been fans of each other's content; this time playing aligned! Such an honour to finally play with him + sign the Blue Brat afterwards! Jeff has an insane amount of tools to use too, hopefully next time we’ll session longer and experiment with every tool~ 😊

I generally do not pick-up play, and consider NSFW acts intimate and something I would reserve for closer relationships, though I met @Mark_Diamond while at NEST, and when he was showing me his many pleasure tools, we discovered we both love David Mack’s style of play.. like clit-focused, edging, denial, and forced orgasms.. I couldn’t pass on the opportunity of reliving my biggest fantasy so I let him tie me spread eagle, naked, and torture me~ 🥰🤤. It was dreamy and felt amazing aah~ wish I could always have a session like that~ (〃˘▽˘ʃƪ) *:・ﾟ✧♡.

So I Ler’d for my first CNC session..~ thanks to Steve @DaddyMilkBoss, who’s been teaching me for years all about his favourite way to play~. He had no safeword.. or maybe I ignored their safeword, who knows~. But it was so so much fun, loved how much he begged for me to stop, and how desperate he got.. and I just continued to play with him… 😍🤤. It was too much fun really.. I shouldn’t have that much power lol, already craving to do that to him again~. Yeah I love being a bully~ 🖤. All those years of taunting me and talking to me all about CNC.. it’s like I was trained to ruin him~ 🤭.

During my session with Steve where I lee’d, I learned that I can make eye contact if my mouth is duct-taped shut~. Usually when I lee, I like to wear a blindfold because seeing the Ler/s makes me so shy and stiff, and that hinders my ticklishness. Our session, I had multiple duct-tape strips over my mouth without a blindfold on and I was very surprised at how comfortable I was making eye contact with him.. it was really hot.. I love the idea of talking with big, pleading eyes~ I also have very pretty eyes~

If you’re on Fetlife, Twitter or in certain Discord Servers, you may have seen Liger @LewdLigu’s feather wheel + stocks… I also don’t usually public play, though he was doing mini trials in the public play area.. and perhaps I was a bit intrigued..~ 👉👈. It’s a super cool invention, and I had a lot of fun giving it a try, bEing wATCHED-! and having those claws and feather vibrators on me .. 😵‍💫.

My last session at NEST was with Nate, this time I was stretched out bound in his under-the-mattress stocks, and arms up at the corners of the bed… I also got high for this session~. 🥴 I just want to say.. Nate knows what he’s doing.. like when you think of the definition of a Ler, or what to expect during a session, Nate is that, Nate knows how to session omg, he’s so good at tickling~. (No he did not make me say this LOL that’s just all I can say and it’s true.) So much fun to hang out with and play with! I miss him!! Nate, thank you for taking care of me throughout NEST!! I already said it but it was so much appreciated when I didn’t have Clay!! 🥹💕

Despite like 8 sessions and depleting my ticklishness, I was super excited to go home to Clay and have a session with him. He knows all my spots and exactly how to wreck me, and I was craving that~ 😆. It was wonderful to reconnect and take all the energy from NEST and share it with him!

AND I TRIED CHIPOTLE FOR THE FIRST TIME IT WAS SOOO GOOOOOD!! 😫💦

Super cool that I got to meet some Tumblr people too! @ticklishadventure @queerswitch-tickles @ticklishposts-sideblog @minotaurvo !! So happy you all got to attend NEST for the very first time! That’s a huge step and I hope you all had a great time!! ❤️

I was fortunate to film a bunch of content too with all the new people I played with!! So!! Gifsets and maybe clips soon! 🤩

I got asked a lot how long I’ve been modelling lol.. and I don’t get that question really!! It was really flattering, though it is super amateur modelling / a hobby to me!!

Crossing the border on the way home, again we share with the border guard that we went to a tickle convention, and the guard wanted to know what happens at a tickle convention.. so I had to be the one to explain what happens as Timmi was looking for a document on his phone…. UUGHH!! 💀🪦

Anyway to wrap this up, this was personally the best NEST for me~. I’ve been navigating my local kink community without Clay a lot as he works, such as going to munches and parties alone, attending kink classes, and hanging out with new friends! I was really nervous to be attending NEST without Clay, though I feel I was capable to navigate NEST with what I’ve learned from our local community. I remember being really anxious Thursday and early Friday, though everything was going really well, I had good interactions, great sessions, and met a lot of new people, and that just made me more confident in myself! I did a lot of new things I didn’t think I was capable of or ready for yet, though I did it, and survived, and very much enjoyed. I can pick-up play with the right people, I can accept more intimate touching and play and not feel wrong after. Those compliments Clay and my local friends give me all the time, I can start to believe them. I was really reassured this weekend of who I am, what I’m capable of, and that my presence is wanted. I feel much more established in the in-person tickle community. There was so much growth and experience for me at NEST ‘23, and I am so looking forward to carrying it all into future kink events. ❤️

Thank you so much to everyone who makes NEST possible, and to those who volunteer their time to keep it organized and going!! And thank you so much to everyone who was involved in my experience this year!! It was awesome because of you!! ❤️

#write up finally!! #NEST WAS SO GOOD THIS YEAR I HAD SO MUCH FUN!! 🥰❤️ #im a new woman #my posts #NEST #NEST 2023 #tickle community #tickles #text

[trans-axolotl]

I'm a psych survivor & want to find community in general or join conversations on here but it seems like no one really cares what I have to say & a lot of the conversations on here about mad liberation etc. are so academic that I feel alienated & shut out by them, and afraid of being talked down to & made fun of, even though I was (barely) able to master's degree and thought I was fairly intelligent. it seems like the academics mainly want to talk amongst themselves. idk. it's like the more I try to connect the worse I feel. I guess you probably don't have an answer to this but I appreciate your blog & how accessible your writing is

💜💜💜anon i think you have SUCH an important point. for me, the most meaningful mad community that i've found has always been when I've been institutionalized and just talking with other mad people, where most of them don't have any experience with mad liberation politics or antipsychiatry or any of that vocabulary. But like--time and time again those are the people who just get it the most, and are some of the most insightful people I've met. And I know that if some of my psych survivor friends came on tumblr, I think they would be judged for not having the "right" language or not communicating clearly enough or whatever. Which makes me so fucking mad, especially considering how many of us are disabled in ways that impact our communication, processing, and language. and how to me, it feels like such an important value of mad liberation to celebrate different styles of communication and all the different ways we're going to show up and exist as mad people! I'm sorry that you haven't been able to find a lot of welcoming community on tumblr--I know how exhausting and isolating it feels to not be able to connect with the people that are Supposed to actually understand and support you.

and it's not that I hate academic stuff about madness--I'm currently at university studying disability studies and really appreciate disability scholars. I think it's super fucking important + there's a lot of really talented people doing cool work. But I think that especially in disability studies, there needs to be a LOT more of an effort put in to actually make research + writing accessible. If half our community can't access any of the writing about our community, that's fucked up, you know? I'm always getting into arguments at university lmao when I talk about how we should do more to translate academic work into plain language. especially since i think it's a form of injustice when we are kept away from resources and knowledge that would let us build a political understanding of our experiences. it just feels super important to me to think about accessibility and what that means in mad spaces and psych survivor spaces, and who feels welcome to participate in our spaces and who feels left out of them.

and i also don't really have answers or solutions for How to Make That Happen on Tumblr--if you or any followers have any suggestions i would def love to hear them. i know that a lot of people are going to come on tumblr to do a lot of different things and that some people see this mostly as an academic space for them, where some people just come on here to talk or create art or a million different things.

For me, I use tumblr as a space where I want to talk and connect with a lot of people about all kinds of topics and hear psych survivors opinions on a ton of stuff. a lot of my posts are pretty casual, but when i make longer educational and political posts i spend a lot of time thinking about the best ways to translate really academic concepts to a wider audience. when i sit down to write out a long post i try to incorporate as many accessibility features as possible like using bullet points, putting in summaries/ Tl;DR sections at ends of posts, adding in real life examples when I'm defining complicated technical concepts, adding content notes, and more. Before I post, I read through my posts and highlight every time I use a more academic or technical term. Then, I think through whether that vocab is necessary for people to understand the post, or if there's better language I could replace it with. A lot of times I do end up keeping in some technical terms in my posts because it is honestly the most direct way to explain some of the stuff I want to talk about, but it's been super valuable for me to go through and really think about it, even when some terms stay in my writing. that's just my process and what works for me and I really don't think that other people need to write the same way I do lmao, but if anyone ever wants to talk about writing in plain language & easy read PLEASE come into my inbox bc i love talking about this and want to chat about it with more people.

other things i'll say is that i've found that virtual/in person psych survivor/antipsych support groups are often times a lot more welcoming and accessible and are just like, people talking about things and hanging out together. I've heard really good things about Wildflower Alliance's support groups, and also recommend the Hearing Voices Network. Project LETS has been running an exceptional psychiatric survivor support group for almost a year that is more casual and is a really great community, I'm hoping that they're going to open up availability again in the spring so that might also be worth checking out in the next couple months. Campaign for Psych Abolition in the UK runs a mad art space that seems super fun. i wish there were a lot more existing groups cause it sucks how few things there are tbh.

anyway, know that you + anyone else are always welcome to chat in my inbox or on any of my posts and you will not face any judgement from me. i genuinely love talking to other psych survivors so much and want to hear what people have to say. the only people i get annoyed at on my posts are psych students and other mental health professionals who leave really bullshit stuff on there lmfao.

sending you all the solidarity, anon <3

#asks #psych survivor #surviving psych #psych abolition #mad liberation #accessibility #sorry for going on a tangent about plain language in the middle adsfjkhjkfsh i just like. am very passionate about plain language writing #and tumblr is one of the main places in my day to day life where i practice writing in plain language #i am not perfect at it but i really enjoy doing it and keep wanting to get better at it #also want to get better about writing in easy read. i'm not very good at that at all yet #ik that wasn't like directly related to your question tho so sorry!! i started getting excited about plain language #and then was like no okay i should just go post about plain language on a diff post that isn't ur ask askfdjhfjdkah #ANYWAY. sending all the love u way anon

[vulture115]

Jeanne meets British S.A.S Jaune (idea is taken from @arc-misadventures the swap)

(Britain exists somewhere in Remnant…. Lmao) [We now see Jeanne in the white room after the swap]

Jeanne: *Scared look after seeing a lot of gunfire and dead bodies* Well… that was quite an experience. Never thought i’d see a real Great War. What is Jaune doing in that place anyway? Isn’t he supposed to be in Beacon?

*Footsteps is being heard in the same room before she saw a 6’6 behemoth in a skull mask (Similar to the CoD Reboot Ghost, but with sharp teeth), baseball cap, a tactical headset and a full military uniform walks in]

British!Jaune: *Walking in* Fucking hell, why am i even in a bloody campus? The last thing i remember before suddenly being in campus is me fighting the Al-Qatala (Qa was pronounced Qo in Arabic). One guy with red hair suddenly attacks me before I incapacitate him. What in the bloody hell is going on?

[Meanwhile in Jeanne’s universe]

Nora: Soooo…. Ren, what should we do with Pyrros’s unconscious body?

Lian (Ren is the last name): We need to carry Pyrros back to our room

Nora: Okay Rennie!!!

Team RWBY: *Shivering in fear seeing a guy takes out one of the best fighter in Beacon*

[Back to the white room]

Jeanne: *Pointing the sword at the man* Who are you and what have you done to Jaune?!

British!Jaune: *Pointing his FN SCAR H at Jeanne* Who in the bloody hell are you and how did you know my name?

Jeanne: Jaune?! Since when did you use guns, not only that, since when did you becomes such a behemoth and wearing a Skull mask and tactical gears?! And what’s with the accent?!

British!Jaune: Identify yourself, now!

Jeanne: My name is Jeanne D’Arc also known as Jeanne Arc, i’m the fifth Daughter of Acheius Arc and Juniper Arc.

British!Jaune: Fucking hell…. Seems like we’re a completely different yet the same person at the same time. What is actually going on?

Jeanne: Ok, so what’s going on is that we’re having a phenomenon different Jaune and i call “The Swap”. It happens at really random times and this place is what we call “The White Room”. Now can you answer the question i asked you before, please.

British!Jaune: My name’s Jaune Arc, callsign “Banshee”, Rank Sergeant. I’m a Sniper-Demolition expert and the newest member of Task Force 141. That’s all i gotta say

Jeanne: C’mon, that’s all? Not even your birthday and age

British!Jaune: *Sighs* My age is 22 Years old, birthday is on March 2nd 51 AGW (After Great War)

Jeanne: You’re 3 years older than me!!! The usual Jaune that i swapped with is the same age as i did!!!

British!Jaune: huh, the more you know. How the usual Jaune that you swapped with was like?

Jeanne: He’s 6’1, wearing a knight armor and using a sword. He’s also has a large amount of Aura

British!Jaune: Bloody hell, he’s also on Beacon?

Jeanne: Uh…. He kinda faked his way into beacon?

British!Jaune: *Laughs* Maybe all Jaunes always faking their way into something we really wanted to be.

Jeanne: You WHAT?!

British!Jaune: I also did faked my way into a military at the age of 16, they didn’t even know i was 16 because of my height and a bit of my voice (Just imagine RK Jaune voice but with british accent). You the same?

Jeanne: Actually i’m not, i got in legally

British!Jaune: Heh, nice work then, your parents must’ve trained you and let you in. Unlike mine did

Jeanne: Lemme guess, you’re not trained by your parents and trying to join the huntsman academy but got rejected, aren’t you?

British!Jaune: Something like that, except the rejection part, i was thinking that my bloody age is too old to start training, so i joined the military as part of the British S.A.S. And that’s where i met Captain Price.

Jeanne: Who is Captain Price

British!Jaune: He’s the Captain of the team, Task Force 141, recruited me to-

[Jeanne was later in her own room]

Jeanne: Huh, i’m back *Spots Pyrros unconscious on his own bed*

Nora: Jeanne, you’re back!

Jeanne: What happened to Pyrros, Nora? Did you hit him with your hammer?

Lian: She didn’t, he attacked a really tall man with skull mask and a full military uniform and tactical equipment and the man quickly incapacitated him

Jeanne: Jaune did that?!

Nora and Lian: That was Jaune?!

Jeanne: You guys didn’t know?

Nora: I don’t recall him being that tall and trained like that

Jeanne: Apparently i got swapped with another Jaune. He’s a soldier version of him

Lian: But what’s with the mask?

Jeanne: I don’t know, i haven’t asked him. Maybe next time

///

Forgive me for some shitty ass writing bruv

#jaune arc #rwby #ruby rose #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #nora valkyrie #weiss schnee #pyrrha nikos #call of duty #captain john price #jeanne arc #jeanne d'arc

[elliesbelle]

Since your brain is huge and your meat is Big™, where do you stand on the Rellie vs Dellie debate. I've seen a hell of a lot of "Riley and Ellie were soulmates, Ellie was Dina's soulmate but not vice versa". I ship Ellie with long term therapy and medication so I can't comment but I'll take either of those over ellabs lmao

KSJLKDFJKLDF this description of me is making me howl

i did naught even see that there was a debate between rellie vs dellie omg? but let me gather my thoughts.

i personally believe in the concept of soulmates myself. and it's not something i will deny could exist in the tlou universe. however (and i may get flack for this), i don't think we've seen a character who's destined to be ellie's soulmate in the game tbh. not just romantically, but platonically either.

idk, i think a lot of ellie's life is based on circumstance. so her relationships are more based on that, rather than an inherent soul tie with the person. riley and dina were both her best friend at one point, and i think the process of ellie developing feelings for both of them was similar. but she was also a different person during the phases of her life where she had feelings for them respectively. so i feel as if the debate on who is better for ellie is honestly a moot point.

we also only got a fraction of riley vs what we got with dina, so we weren't given the opportunity to explore much else of riley's personality and chemistry with ellie as we did with dina.

as to who she had more love for, idk. probably dina? but i mean, she was an adult by this point and her shared traumatic experiences with dina probably bonded them more.

at the end of the day, the person ellie loved the most is joel, which is why she left dina in the first place. would she have done it if it were riley and not dina in the situation? idk. i think tlou2 cemented how much rage and guilt ellie clung onto, so she probably would have.

i personally ship ellie with a good insurance and in inpatient psychiatric ward myself. our girl needs to heal.

(did someone say ellie needs to heal? omg what a coincidence, @cherriesxinthespring's wasteland baby! series on ao3 is a story about both ellie and reader healing from shit in their past! perhaps we should all check it out omg)

#nawt me plugging in my rosie's fic lsdkfcjdskl #i'm just so excited rosie's writing again #also this ask reminds me of an ellabs post i have sitting in my drafts rn #lemme go just clear it out of there cause it was very big brained of me #anon #belle answers

[ofmermaidstories]

ur post about oc fic and reader insert fic made me think about how every time i see a post dragging x reader it's kinda just... thinly veiled misogyny.

like i don't wanna get super deep or whatever but a good chunk of x reader writers (myself included) are just women or people socialized as women that have felt unloved or under appreciated in their lives because of their looks or their personality or their skills in things that women/feminine people are expected to excel in and i think that oc/reader insert stories give women a really important space to make themselves (or a version of themselves) the most desired thing which is something that they often don't experience. it's a space where women can feel comfortable and loved in a world where they're under appreciated and tossed aside because of things out of their control and it drives me up a wall when i see people shitting on these spaces and these works because these are just safe spaces for marginalized people PREDOMINATELY CREATED BY MARGINALIZED PEOPLE!!

n e ways this was a long rant oops..

omg see the thing that gets me about the occassional x reader/oc drag is that—the call is coming from inside the house LMAO. like, okay maybe original characters in fics aren’t a niche thing, but x reader sure the hell is, so you have to like, know internet culture/fandom to be aware of it let alone to start using it like an insult, you know? and i would argue that fanfic tends to be a hobby that attracts marginalised identities as you say, so like, why are we clowning on ourselves? LOL. it’s like a mathlete bullying the horse girl of their class, like, buddy—we’re both losers!!! get over yourself LMAO.

i think my favourite dig at x reader (specifically) that i’ve ever seen is some rando on tiktok saying it was fanfic for people who were popular in public school—i think it’s so telling of how other fans might view oc/reader content? like, “oh that’s just some straight girl shit, they’re not putting any effort into it/they’re stealing our precious ship boys for their pORN/they’re ruining the canon story by inserting themselves into it”. and idk—part of it is just human nature (we are always going to shit on things we don’t like, that is a fact) and part of it might be fandom/internet culture at large at the moment (the purity aspect/policing) but at the end of the day all we can do is tell them to eat dog shit when they sprout up in our spaces and ignore ‘em.

idk! it drives me bonkers though, because it does feel like these spaces/niches do get targeted unfairly for it—if it’s not for the simple crime of writing a love story with your favourite character, then it’s like… being old and doing it! because god forbid you be over the age of 18 and still enjoy engaging with fiction! don’t you have a mortgage to go pay? like—i never see that attitude (within a fandom space) directed at the grown-ass men and women and gender neutral pals who play like, Dungeons and Dragons. No one (within a fandom space!) tells them they’re weird for forty-hour long campaigns where they fight and fall in love and idk, put dragons in some dungeons or something. no—it’s the blatant love stories that get picked on. the ones written by girls (gender neutral).

romance—and falling in love—is one of the most universal feelings/acts in the world. we want to fall in love with everything! in every world! we wanna—fall in love and be loved by superheroes and the villains they fight and the monsters in the dark and the good guys that rush in with swords and the cute barista at the coffee shop down the road. if other fans wanna get hung up on the fact that a tiny fraction of others want to insert themselves in these incredible worlds and experience everything they want to (having powers; being saved. saving someone else—saving yourself) then that’s their problem lmaoooo. im sorry you can’t have fun and create whimsy for yourself by drawing an oc who wins the sports festival and saves bakugou from being kidnapped—but im built different. 😌 and im gonna have fun while im here.

#ofmermaidstories-asks #merms argues with people who don’t exist LOL but still im right and ur right anon we’re both right

[visdom444]

COLLECTIVE ORACLE: I.D(ing) Self

Omg the pink full moon was rocking my shit lmfao. In the most positive way though. It was for sure very releasing and cleansing. I guess I wasn't fully aware of the things I hadn't let go of and a lot of it was centered around projection... Crazy how we easily hold onto other peoples shit and completely can release anything that belongs to us.

So I pulled 4 cards and the second two that came out came out together and I put them back in the deck lmfao. I shuffled them again and they came out literally the same way. I think that might be spirit saying "TRUST that I got YOU."

FOURTH HOUSE - HOME, SOUTH NODE - PAST, FIRST HOUSE - ARRIVAL, and ARIES - ACT

A lot of old memories coming up! You could be thinking "well why the fuck am I thinking about this" the same way when you drink water and you pee, your body naturally purges out the old so it can make way for the new... its the same thing with your emotions they just don't teach that in health class. You are making way in your emotional body so that you can allow yourself to experience new feelings and emotions without the disruption of the past. It can feel like a part of you is dying and it truly is. You could feel very heavy in the heart and your crown chakra could be feeling a little irritated. Take time to explore your thoughts! Write down all the stuff that keeps popping up. Cry it out burn the paper... Do whatever you need to do but don't try to suppress the truth... Girl are we still in retrograde? LMFAO. The universe really is not playing with us when it comes to growth like we are being PUSHED if we haven't willingly decided to grow ourselves. I think its for our best benefit... Honestly not everything is happening to us but for us but when you don't understand it it can be confusing tbh.

Taking action to become this new version of you. You already are it. It feels different don't it? You cant even remember everything you've been purging and if you do you laughed because you now see what it turned you into and you are thankful for it.

What actions are left for you to get to where it is that you want to be within self? I see people changing their eating habits and indulging more in the things that truly bring them happy instead of doing things that they feel obligated to do. I see a lot of people cleaning out their home or just simply selling the whole fucking thinking and moving on lmao. Like "I don't wanna be here anymore." A lot of people moving to different parts of the country and really finding their life outside of the idea of what other people keep telling you its supposed to be. Finding new ways to pick up the energy within self. I think a lot of us are just deciding to not overthink and form an opinion after we do things instead of before we do them.

#spiritual journey #spirituality #spirtualawakening #spirtualgrowth #activist #original art #ra the sun god #spiritual awakening #spirtualjourney #spirtuality #tarot community #tarot reading #tarot cards #oracle #oracle cards #astro community #astrology #astro observations #astronomy #full moon #pink full moon #oracle reading #self help #self healing #self realization

[sphericalbee]

this is long asf and i know it STARTS w me being like 'i should kms' but im gna spoil it for u all and say that's NOT where it goes lmfao im just dumping out all my thoughts

!! very very rambly, not proofread even once, probably makes no sense and is very cheesy

i wrote a fucking novel holy shit LMFAO no hard feelings if u skip

if i can be kinda depressing for a second i think ab killing myself too much for someone who is basically fine (that might be a lie idk i don't feel like thinking ab it more rn) 😭 like the world just has so many issues i dont wna deal with,,, yk? and it would be so much easier to just move on to whatever's next, bc i KNOW ill have a fuckton of debt in college and have to live through miserable relationships and watch the earth fall apart bc our leaders r so incompetent. even now im living through like 5 genocides, insane global warming, a poverty crisis, inflation, and all of this can be boiled down to greed and hatred

also a lot of kids my age are so horrible for no reason and it's sad to think how many people just absolutely suck ass

but at the same time i won't kill myself bc there are people who i wna make sure get through everything alright, and ik i have good things to live through too

so ive compromised and decided i get to shoot myself in the head when im like 60 if i don't have a wife and the world is still a mess 💀 like i don't wna live longer than i'll enjoy it (lets be reallll global warming will kill us all before i have to do anything anyway)

surprisingly, i got a lot better after reading philosophy books? making sense of the world and appreciating the genius of the philosophers, who were ppl just like me, helps

i feel like ive found so many new ways to think ab and experience the world through philosophy. it's a beautiful part of humanity, trying to understand and having genuine fascination about the way things are and what everything means

good music helps too. yerin baek to fall in love with everything and cry over every single feeling you've ever had ever, universe mongae when that's too much and i have to detach

i listen to universe mongae a lot in class bc my classmates fuckingh SUCKK and she sets me apart from my emotions or feeling lonely when im leaving myself out on purpose bc they're not good people

a few days ago, i was listening to yerin baek as i walked back to school from lunch and the world was suddenly so beautiful and i realised how everyone else has a consciousness and worlds just as real as mine and i fell in love with everyone (by everyone i mean like 30 people)

suddenly i couldn't even care how much i missed out on or the people who i wish loved me more because in the grand scheme of things, im allowed to be careless and love without reciprocation and it won't matter because i hold no more worth than a dragonfly... to have zero expectations for what you could and should feel or be and just enjoy yerin's voice in the moment might be one of the happiest moments i've ever had, honestly

yk whats ironic? it was a love song directed as another person that made me realise i could feel love and not care if i was still no one's favorite. life is beautiful anyway because i can love and make it beautiful on my own

not that my state of 'im fine with loving everyone alone' will last very long. i mean,, im just a mammal LMAO i can't deny my own brain chemistry

even just earlier today i finished the math test earlier and accidentally started thinking ab my childhood. idk why it happened but i did

and i remembered how i was so selfish and couldn't let anyone see i was anything less than perfect

there's one memory where i mispronounced a word and a girl corrected me. and i immediately tried to say, "no i know, but my brother says it that way and i do it too on accident". she called me out, obviously, and i rolled my eyes before whispering "it's true though" in the hope that someone would hear and think "oh she actually knew that"

it's sad to think how i used to be. that's from around 7th grade, i think, so i would've been 11 maybe?

up to a few months ago i would randomly remember that and feel insane anger and hatred for my younger self

it seems so foreign to me now and weird that i could hate a child for being brought up with horrible conditions and lacking emotional maturity. i thought that if i could go back in time i would just look at her and feel bad bc i got so much better since then

maybe even love her idk she's not having fun either 💀 do u think she enjoys holding herself to absolute perfection and looking like a dumbass in front of everyone when that's inevitably impossible??

there was another time that made me so sad to think ab

i got dragged along to my brother's friend's birthday party and some kid did smth rude

and i watched as the kid got chewed out by his mom and then went to apologise to the birthday kid

and the birthday kid just said, so seriously, "I accept your apology"

and i remember thinking smth like 'whoa that's cool id be so embarrassed talking like that'

thinking ab that time (i think i was 12ish maybe) is so crazy. like my parents did such a shit job that i thought i had to be SO ALOOF and above it all that accepting an apology was weak and embarrassing?? jesus i cannot wait to move out 💀 ill send them an email when im gone telling them everything they'd send me back to therapy for

ive been reading too much philosophy, and a lot of that revolves around the meaning of life and how to achieve happiness/catharsis. but i think i have my own conclusion of what it means to be happy even without plato haha

ive never been happier than when i began to forgive and understand myself

it feels like i can live as i want and it's not important. one of my favorite quotes is "i could die tonight and hold no more significance than a dragonfly's death". i wouldn't say im a nihilist but i do like the idea that nothing means anything other than the worlds we have in our minds

it's my mission to make those i care about happy and carve out a good future for myself

ive tried to follow a lifestyle of "i work for my future without ruining my present" but ngl i just ended up anorexic literally three times in the past 5 years 💀 idek what i did wrong like DAMN?? chill tf out hggsdhgfsgd i had a panic attack over eating an extra bit of cheese one time

also fuck my parents for giving me no life skills. raising urself is really hard and you end up with so much internalised bullshit

im honestly so proud of myself for turning everything around after 8th grade

i guess i owe a lot to my classmates for not letting me get away w bullshit and caring ab political issues

it's pretty wild that i cry at movies now when last year i was apathetic all the time

i think i like having feelings? pretty undecided still ngl

i think it's a step up

but i can't even talk to my parents ab how they fucked everything up for me and i had to pull myself out pf the absolute trenchessssss or theyll make me do family therapy and ill end up forgiving them which id rather explode than do

anyway ig my point is if you're having trouble with existence or mental health, pls don't give up on yourself. i promise there's people out there who either love you or will in the future and you just need a few quality coping mechanisms to make it through the day

whether that's antidepressants, the powerpuff girls, philosophy (:33 which it should be), yerin baek (which it also should be), or vent art, find ways to make life liveable until you're ok again. bc you always will be in the end

i probably don't know you but i love you because you have a life and a consciousness

please recognise that about everyone

i read somewhere that everything will always be alright in the end and if it's not okay yet, it's not the end either. it sounds dumb and doesn't really make sense (where's the logic lmao site ur sources at least) but it's such a nice sentiment

i think ummm i will go to school and give all my friends a big hug tmrw so pls don't be sad in the meantime

anyway loossemble's new album is good im so happy for them

this is the happiest and healthiest hyeju's ever looked i lowkey wna cry over how well theyre doing ;v;

also highkey want her to put me in a chokehold like GHSFDFJFSDHGJK those ARMSSSSSS MOTHER??

fuck modhaus tho i hope artms r doing well... fucking jaden jeong ugh

#tw suicide #motivational kind of maybe i think?? #i won't kill myself gdfhgggdsad dw i just think ab not having to deal w everything and it seems like such an easy way out #but i got more shit to do!! #ur not getting rid of me for 40 more years at the latest #vent #(??) #not rly #more like #a thought dump #tw anorexia #tw ed #tw eating disorder #just mentioned but still there #personal #thats not even a tag i use im just putting whatever #bye bye #there's a giant ass bug in my shower so i washed my hair in the sink

[runa-falls]

Hi bb 🙇‍♀️ if I may join your shipping game requests …

I’m 5’3, got a blonde streak in my otherwise dark hair, and I love makeup (MUA problems). I always have my nails done, love being sarcastic when I’m comfortable with people but usually am quiet and polite if I’m first meeting you, and sometimes have really bad anxiety lmao. Love languages are probably words of affirmation and gifts, obviously if I could I’d say all of them but top two for sure. Ummmm I’m blanking on anything else but I think I’m like really funny low key and people don’t expect me to be what I am based on what I look like 😅🌚

Which Oscar boy is mine ❤️❤️❤️

HI MONA :) you get our baby: steven 🥺

< PICTURE ATTACK >

look, i cannot even begin to express how down bad this man would be for you 🫠 he thinks you're the coolest the person he's ever met. even if you weren't together, he'd long to just be your friend 😭

i feel you'd be more extroverted around steven when you first meet him because he's just so 😳😅🥺 around you, he'd literally be stuttering over his words, almost choking on his own voice.

even when you're dating he gets nervous around you. he tries his best to impress you, though he usually fails miserably like a looney toons character lol.

NOT TO BE NSFW (BUT TO TOTALLY BE NSFW):

steven is obsessed with a few things you've mentioned --

NSFW: he MELTS when you leave lipstick stains all over his body

on his face, along his neck, his chest, at the base of his cock. he loves it when you mark him as yours. he could literally cum just from seeing the marks in the reflection of the mirror (and he has 😭 bro needs help)

SFW: he lets you practice makeup looks on him.

he sits so patiently as you blend his foundation (you had to get a tester size for his skin tone) and do his eye shadow. you made him learn how to curl his own lashes (though he doesn't really need to with how long they are) so you don't accidentally pinch him.

NSFW: dude gets hard just looking at your nails (HE'S A SLUT)

ever since you've shown him the 'benefits' of long nails (including, but not limited to: claw marks on his back/chest, your hand wrapping around him so prettily, and your nails running against his scalp when he goes down on you), he's had a fixation on your perfectly manicured hands.

SFW: love languages

steven hasn't known much of life besides his constant loneliness from his inability to maintain a normal life and the usual berating from his boss, coworkers, etc.

so when you come in, all soft and affectionate with supportive and loving words he feels like he's gonna cry 🥺 and WHEN YOU GET HIM A THOUGHTFUL GIFT 😀 dude literally cannot compute, it's affection he's never experiences before. so of course he returns the sentiment 10 fold.

he can't stop telling you how beautiful you are, how you're his world, how he's the luckiest guy in london -- no, the world -- NO, THE UNIVERSE *keeps thinking about what's bigger than the universe bc he doesn't want to minimize his love for you*

he buys you little things that remind him of you whenever he's out (mostly from the gift shop bc that's where he is whenver he's not with you) like a cute matching mummy and sarcophagus keychain

NSFW: some things cannot be said in the bedroom

unless you want him to finish there and then.

steven is sensitive, so when he's already feeling really good, adding affirmative words takes him off the edge. he can't help it, you're just so sweet and it's all just too good to be true.

OK THAT's IT I DON"T WNNA GET TOO FAR

#mona :0 #shipping game #steven grant

[incarnateirony]

Is it like, Dean's re-creating his parent's meeting to process his own story in a new universe he has created in heaven? and so the akrida are actually birthed/caused by Dean creating this new universe, and so they're going after Dean and the universe he built for himself? Are the akrida able to hop from the 1972 universe to the road where dean is? Does he know they're able to hop? From the bits of meta I've understood, is that going in the right direction? I like the question, why is dean wearing purgatory clothes. I'll have to mull on that one. He's stuck between going back to earth and going forward towards the garden/the place where all souls are created. In order to get to the garden the garden has to be in him--which I guess is about being unapologetically who you are? Probably Dean's whole thing is learning to love himself. ?

Everyone is so close. And not wrong. but not right. Remember my old blog tag, "it's all about the souls" before it became "goddamnit kids, get off my lawn" or whatever.

OK. Wipe away everything in your head you think you know about canon. It's the narrative Chuck wrote over it (we can break down What Earth Is later). But our souls are little slices of heaven.

There wasn't supposed to be a snake in the box. There was nothing, and it had a thought and asked if and why it existed, and chuck dreamed up barbies from there. But there was this fucking snake. Because there was something greater than his pride or Ego (lmao) waiting to be born, that just is, like he and amara just were.

So ok, people, families, souls, we are. that's real. But who we become is the experiences this slice of heaven had inside the brainbox. And it met other people that all had their own stories. Just he who had control of the most souls was god or whatever, in a narrative of control.

So chuck shoved all the slices in an eco system of heaven slice distribution because we were the one thing he couldn't control, and he feared us. He made the angels to make lesser beings, to make him BIG, like sealing Amara. But the throne didn't ever really belong to him. Angels were just. Colonizers. But there were billions of us, and we were here first.

What jack did wasn't evil, but the absence of good; the soul is the one true good, and simply, the one true thing, everything else is commentary.

But there's one thing that separates life from stillness. It's that we die. And we're afraid that's all there is. And even then uh, well I talked about berens plot failsafes in season 15. Why did death seek the garden.

Death is neither hostile nor malevolent. Why did she need to be sealed, after all that time without? ...and why was the empty in Death's Library?

Jack made it loud. The generational trauma, dean seeing this part of himself hs feared that went down to the bones of the abuse he endured and his terror of being left alone as people were ripped from him, again and again. of saying he was poison, that people that get close to him get killed, or worse. Akrida. Ticks and leeches. All this regret and shadow without the light is like a gnat in my HEAD and its BUZZING and YOU MADE IT LOUD. Rockin Roxxy coming through the cracks--

All of it was because of Mary. And all of it was because of Cas. They were a family and Cas didn't want to lose that because they became his whole world. He used to just mindlessly follow the plan but he became a father and rediscovered who he was. And he let the sun shine on his face, of that soul, and let it in and that moon became full and showed the way to the garden.

And that's it. That's the discord we were left at the end. Pieces that almost hit boxes and. Is this nihilism? depression? what even was this?

Why the world now again, why the trap, why the truth, the original 15x18 name. why through the cracks. That generational trauma is still rippling. But it was. When your life loses meaning, death can seem kind of comforting. Most people in the world at some time touch it in their hearts. Dean did, and he walked that path pledging to seal himself away into emptiness and boxes and space and oceanic abysses. Like a rugaru, by any other language or dub.

Heh.This seems like an aside, but it's necessary. Dean's leading narration is separate, that's him already finished the process. The Dean narrating is the dean that already faced his truth, hence his confidence, his tonal smile, and the story about how complicated family ties can be as he begins to take us there. The Truth. And the final door. The Trap. And The Truth--did dean lead them into another trap?

Would you do it over again if you could.

Dean's telling of John and Mary comes from a different angle of the writer. Right now, the corporate TV is unplugged (lmao TBS timeline inbound apollo dodgeball) but the stations are sort of picking up the stuff in the cracks that wasn't part of the package. That's where the Akrida and trauma hide. There's no change to the story, they're always there and always knocking, and were even knocking when Death went mad.

The locusts of the garden. What do you hate. Who do you love. What do you fear. Dean of the Infinite vs Dean of the Empty are singing two different songs right now, and it's time to start listening. The details of whether they lived in bumfuck Normal Illinois as chuck lazily googled or if as far as dean could read, it was probably lawrence, a lawrence formed the last he knew it was established. These details don't matter. That's just sorta the reader filling in the gaps.

Why do you love this world/hate this world enough to risk your life/burn it to the ground. Akrida. Must crucify the ego before it's far too late I pray the light lifts me out before narcissus dean pines away. The moon tells her secret, a green lit confidant. As full and bright as she is the light is not her own and a million light reflections pass over her.

But. This is the stuff that's important. The people stuff. The soul stuff. And the paths they chose when in this life.

Cupids never love roofie anyone. They play the right commercial, they trick the right skater. Chuck may have set the obstacles but John and Mary ran their own race, and made their own rules. What we see as inescapable destiny is only because we look back with despair. It's about celebrating life's grandieur, its magnificence, and finding who you are before you can go home to the garden. man's beginning.

And yeah. Dean of the Infinite already telling that story. He already opened that door. And now he's telling it again for us. Consider it Dean of the Empty. The liminal space at neither Being or Oblivion. He found his truth, and then he wrote it down.

He just cared about different things than Chuck did in what he made sure to highlight.

The people.

All of it's real. In their life, and in their death, past the final door. The rest is the legacy we leave for each other.

the cards are the slices

and theres never enough slices

Tollow the path of One towards Heaven. [insert funky spiral math riddles] I will always find you here.

#winchesters codex