#Like they were originally supposed to be me ngl to any of you about it but goDS they have now taken over my soul

[angry-trashcan]

I'm going crazy over this damn story. (I'm gonna go insane in the tags)

#I love this reader I have created so damn much #Like they were originally supposed to be me ngl to any of you about it but goDS they have now taken over my soul #the way they have all of the things from the chain #the design I have in my head of them #does this mean I'm starting to love myself #oh my god #did my fix me fic actually fix me? #I wish I had even an OUNCE of artistic talent bc I want a drawing of them #considering getting once commissioned bc I want to see them #maybe I should just look in a mirror

[wooahaes]

golden

pairing: god!hoshi x fem!mortal!reader

genre: romance, fluff, angst. gods au.

word count: 13.2k~

warnings: character death. resurrection. mentions of fire, food, rain, and alcohol all within the fic. mentions of sex, unwritten (reader and soonyoung are pretty much stated to have sex, but there is 0 depictions of it past kissing and slightly talking about it). mentions of other death in the background of the fic.

daisy's notes: this was originally going to be a mark fic ngl and i still have the scraps of that first attempt.

[note: no taglist on this fic due to me being unsure of who is okay and not okay w sexual content of any kind!! imo its super tame + not explicit at all, but i don't wanna tag someone that doesn't want that, y'kno?]

Soonyoung rarely ventured down to the mortal realm as often as the others did.

This wasn’t due to a disdain for humans; truthfully, Soonyoung was fond of them in plenty of ways. He found them interesting to watch from a distance, never getting too attached to any of them with their tiny lifespan. Truthfully, he always made the excuse that he was busy. Who would raise and set the sun every day if not for him? It was an excuse, to be fair: the sun was set on its path without him needing to be there to do the work himself. He merely kept to himself more often than the others thought. He wasn’t like Seungcheol, who ventured down in times of war and passed through soldiers who couldn’t see him, revitalizing them as he watched destruction rain down; or Jeonghan, who would always be there to retrieve Seungcheol when the fighting finally came to an end, a reminder that being the God of War did not ruin Seungcheol as a person. He wasn’t like Jun, who silently accepted offerings made to him every year and blessed the harvests (and weddings—the fun part of presiding over multiple domains, as they all did), or Chan, who loved to feel the change of the seasons himself. Soonyoung simply knew the truth: he couldn’t, and shouldn’t, get attached. He had seen what happened to people who got attached. 

Yet he always made an exception when his festival came around. He liked to come down and take part in celebrations, finding that they revitalize him in a way like no other. They were always extravagant affairs, larger than life itself with music and dancing that he could spend all night doing. He liked to sample human food, too–especially if he was able to drag Seokmin along, too. The two could ditch their duties for a few hours, the systems in place allowing that slight leave, and sample the sweet wines blessed by Minghao himself. Maybe it blew up Soonyoung’s ego a bit to see how beloved he was by so many, but he enjoyed the fun of it all more than anything else. None of them knew his name, to be fair: they knew the God of the Sun, the God of Dance, or Hoshi if anything. Never Soonyoung. 

He’d sampled a sun-shaped chocolate as he weaved through the crowds, always leaving people with a bashful thanks before he moved on. Soonyoung would have his today, and return home with Seokmin later. That was the way things were meant to be. Maybe he’d sneak a bottle of wine back with him, even if it’d earn an eye-roll from Minghao who would tell him all he needed to do was ask for a bottle if he wanted it so badly. It wasn’t the wine, though: it was the experience. A new bottle he can keep along his collection to remember this by.

Except Soonyoung saw you. He had lost track of Seokmin in the crowd, and ventured toward the town square, where he saw you among the crowd. You’d been dancing with your friends, arms thrown out and flowing garments twisting around you as you laughed with carefree abandon. He’d later learn that you had been drinking that day, enjoying the freedom from work and life and everything heavy. Soonyoung was supposed to meet Seokmin. He was supposed to go find him, and then go home. Yet the moment he went to pass you, you had lost your footing, stumbling into him. Your hands were pressed against his chest as he supported you, staring down at your half-hunched over position, peering up at him through your eyelashes.

“... Hi?” You had breathed out, no sense of embarrassment yet.

Soonyoung had heard stories of gods who fell in love with mortals. It happened to Jihoon, and he remembered how that story ended. He hadn’t understood it, though. How could someone like them fall so easily for someone who’s life was so miniscule? That was an introduction to pain, letting in the opportunity for tragedy to strike. And yet there you were, staring up at him in a way that made his heart stir in his chest like no other. He’d stared at you with parted lips, wide-eyed and feeling the heat rushing to his face as he realized how awkward the two of you must be. There’s an apology on his lips, right where he wished yours would be, only for it to die in his throat as you laughed and straightened up.

“Do you want to dance?” Your hands had found his.

And Soonyoung said yes, forgetting all about the friend he’d been searching for. You’d guided him back with you, and time melted into something entirely new as Soonyoung danced with you. It wasn’t until Seokmin found him later, all but having to drag Soonyoung from the gentle sway your dance had devolved into. He’d forgotten about life and his responsibilities and everything that was supposed to be important: you had called him handsome. 

“Pretty, too,” you had said to him a second later, before giggling. Soonyoung felt like that must be the alcohol in your system making you so giggly. “Like sunlight.”

Oh, if only you knew.

That was why Soonyoung returned the next day, despite everything being over. He found you again, and introduced himself to you with a lie that he was new in town. You’d laughed again, and he felt as though he might fall in love with the sound.

“I know,” you said, picking up a trampled flower from the ground, setting it into your basket. “It’s a small town. I assumed you were someone stopping in for the festival.”

Soonyoung crouched down next to you, wordlessly helping you with your work. “It was really pretty.”

“It always is,” you picked up another flower, and then your eyes met his. “My friends haven’t stopped teasing me, though.”

“Why?”

“You’re cute,” you smiled, and he felt his heart fluttering in his chest all over again. “And of course it’d be someone not from around here that caught my attention.”

Soonyoung furrowed his brow. “You don’t like anyone here?”

“Not really,” you shrugged, fingers brushing against his as you reached for the same flower. “I guess… I never saw someone that felt worth knowing. You feel different.”

Soonyoung had heard about this from Hansol once before. He’d asked once before what drew people together like that, and Hansol had merely shrugged and said some people just… stood out among the crowd sometimes. That had been why Soonyoung only ever went down during festivals. Between the food and the music and the wine, there was enough to distract from Soonyoung, even if it earned him the occasional look as someone felt… something about him drawing their attention.

“So, stranger,” you stood up. “You got a name? Where are you from? Are you just passing through, or…?” 

Soonyoung said his name, gauging your reaction for a second before he continued on, “I’m from the city,” he lied casually enough. “And… I might be.” 

“You might be?” You teased. “You looking for a reason to stay?”

“I might be,” he smiled. 

It earned another warm laugh from you, so short and fleeting. “Well, Soonyoung, if you’re not busy… Maybe I could show you around. Give you a reason.”

As much as he knew he shouldn’t… Soonyoung thought that he’d already found it. So he let you take him by the hand, so warm underneath his touch, and guide him around the town. It felt like every corner the two of you turned, you had a story. You had lived here all your life, and it showed in your stories. Was love at first sight a thing? Hansol said it wasn’t, that it was merely attraction that either blossomed into love or it didn’t. Yet Soonyoung felt as though his soul knew yours. How suddenly a single person could make him wish he were a mortal that could live alongside you and one day die next to you. 

“You’re getting ahead of yourself,” Jihoon said to him one day. He’d entered his godly domain without even asking (although Jihoon never had to ask), finding him taking a nap. He stared down at him. “I mean it. You can’t fall in love with a mortal.”

“I’m not in love with a mortal,” he said. “She’s…” 

“Soonyoung.” Jihoon’s voice was like ice as he stared at him. “I lived this. I won’t stand here and watch it happen to you, too.” 

“How did you even find out?”

Jihoon crossed his arms. “Hansol. Who else would know?”

He had a point. If anyone had their finger to the pulse of love… It’d be the God of Love himself. Hansol had wrinkled his nose when Soonyoung passed by him earlier, although Soonyoung had merely assumed that it  was the scent of mortals and his sweat that disgusted him. Soonyoung sat up, grass crunching underneath him as he looked at Jihoon, backlit by the moon above. He stared down at him, hands curling into fists.

“You don’t want to hurt like I did,” he said in a lower voice. “One day they’re here, and the next…” He reached a hand around the crystal that hung around his neck. “You’ll never see them again.”

Soonyoung didn’t know what to say. Either he defied his friend, his brother, or he let go of you before he’d even grown to know you. 

So he went to Joshua instead.

Joshua had been lounging in his own little home, spread out on the pearly white chaise as he looked down upon the pool of water in the middle of his room. Sometimes, Soonyoung wondered what he was watching so intensely. Life? Or his own reflection? All Soonyoung ever saw was his own face when he peered in, but maybe he wasn’t looking at it right. Joshua looked up, and smiled that pretty smile that Soonyoung had seen carved into marble plenty of times. It was enough to make any man proud, and any god insufferable at times. 

“Soonyoung.” Joshua’s voice was like honey. No wonder mortals dedicated sonnets to it. “I see you’ve finally come around.”

“How long do mortals live?”

He laughed. “Straight to the point. I see. And so soon, too… Then again, you aren’t like Jihoon. It took Jihoon forever to realize his own feelings…” He let out a sigh. “It’s hard to say.” 

Soonyoung stared at him. He understood, slightly: Joshua always said that human life changed with the advancing of medicine. No wonder he resided over both domains, watching over them with a careful eye. “Then how long does she have?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

Soonyoung watched as Joshua stood up, making his way over to a cabinet on the far side of his room, flowing garments dragging along the floor.  He followed close behind, lagging only far enough behind that he didn’t step on the fabric. “Why not?!”

“Because you’re a god, Soonyoung,” Joshua didn’t turn to face him. He opened the cabinet, shimmering liquid sitting inside. He hummed to himself, looking through them. “You can’t change a mortal’s lifespan. It goes against our rules.”

“And who made those?” Soonyoung asked. “You watched Jihoon’s love die. You couldn’t make an exception?”

“It was their time.” Joshua pulled a blue vial that reminded Soonyoung of a clear sky, and he held it up to the light. “I couldn’t do anything for them. They were in Seokmin’s hands.” 

Then maybe he should be talking to Seokmin. Joshua said nothing as he held out the vial, looking through the cabinet further.

“Hold onto this for me, please.”

Soonyoung moved forward, accepting it. He’d never understood things like this—but, thankfully, he didn’t have to. It wasn’t like mortal medicine, which made his head spin. Magic through potion making… That was far outside of his realm. Magic just happened when Soonyoung danced. Light sparked up, the sun was a little warmer on days it was supposed to be cold, the sun stayed out a little longer to help a person find their way home… It manifested through the physical movements he made. It was the same with Minghao, with Junhui, with Chan. He’d seen the dances that Chan choreographed to bring about the seasons, turning it into a performance art. The way Minghao blessed art and wine and those who created both with his own special flourish. And the way Junhui’s movements brought about the harvest as he moved. Joshua, however, always had this song underneath his breath that he seemed to mumble as he pulled vial after vial. Rich purple and sunshine yellow and deep, deep blue that was almost black until the light hit it just right. 

Joshua walked away, plucking the blue sky vial from Soonyoung’s hands with a simple “thank you,” as he passed by him. Soonyoung could only continue to follow him.

“So…”

“So.” Joshua had walked away to a set of glasses, set up not far from the cabinet. When Soonyoung asked why it wasn’t closer before, Joshua had merely said something about avoiding cross-contamination. “I can’t help you with her. She’s a mortal.” One drop of sky blue. Two of the sunshine yellow.

“You can’t make an exception?”

One of purple… and then another. “Nope.”

“I’m not going to stop.”

One of deep, dark blue. “I didn’t think you would.” 

“I mean it.” Soonyoung crossed his arms. “I want to know her. You’d understand if you saw her.”

“I’m sure I would.” Joshua simply pulled out one of the thin, long rods he used to mix these vials. Despite the colors that went into it, it turned into a shimmering, golden liquid after he added a pinch of some dust that Soonyoung knew nothing about. “I’m sure we all would.” 

Was he not budging? Soonyoung didn’t plan this far. He thought if he made it completely clear that he was going to pursue you, whether it got him hurt or not, that Joshua would give something up. Joshua was one of the ones who was most hurt by seeing Jihoon mourn… Maybe it was wrong to try and use that against him, but Soonyoung knew that if he didn’t try to pursue you, he’d regret it for the rest of his life. Didn’t Joshua understand that? Hadn’t he followed people’s lives out of sheer curiosity of where they ended up? He treated it as gossip with Jeonghan sometimes, Soonyoung heard it. 

“Soonyoung?” Joshua asked, pushing a cork into the vial. He tied a cord around it, securing it fully. “Don’t drink this.”

Soonyoung said nothing as Joshua tied the vial around his neck, looking down at where it fell between his collarbones. “I won’t?”

“Good.” Joshua gave him a pat on the shoulder. “Don’t you have a mortal to be wooing?” 

Soonyoung met Joshua’s gaze, and saw the smile he’d given him. “You aren’t going to stop me?”

“Nope.” He walked away. “You’re interrupting me anyway. Mortal lives are messy—These two siblings are fighting over their father’s fortune even though it’ll go to the youngest in secret. They just haven’t realized it yet.”

Soonyoung didn’t see the appeal.

Soonyoung saw you again mere days later. 

You’d been in the market when he finally found you, bargaining for fresh fruit with the woman behind the stall. She laughed at you after a moment, and, judging by the smile on your face, you’d managed to convince her to throw in a little extra. Yet when you turned and saw him, that smile fell for barely a second before coming back, brighter than before. You made your way over to him, careful of your bag as you threw your arms around him. He felt the warmth of your body as it pressed against his, and suddenly the sun didn’t feel so warm anymore. 

“Soonyoung!” You drew back, still beaming at him. “I thought you’d left.”

His hands fell to rest on your hips. “I said I’d be back. I just… had to handle some things.” 

Your gaze had fallen to the vial around his neck. “What’s this?”

“From a friend,” he said, a hand clasping around it protectively. It felt cold underneath his fingers.

“Someone I need to worry about?”

He chuckled. “Nope.” He couldn’t compare to you anyhow. “Are you busy?”

“Not anymore.” You shifted your bag. “I just need to take this home and then I’m all yours. Do you want to walk with me?”

He was glad to go anywhere with you. You slipped your hand into his, palm pressed against his own, and started to guide him down the street. Casual as could be, you started to fill him in on everything that you’d heard over the past few days. The feud between two nobles in the richer part of the town—two brothers who’d always been stuck up. Their father was on their deathbed now, and his third born, his daughter, had been devoted to caring for him. Whether it be to nurse him back to health, or to make sure his passing was as peaceful as it could go, no one could be sure. You admitted your hopes that the fortune would go to her: she was always kind to you and everyone else she met, from what you could tell. Aside from that… One of your neighbors was sure her baby would be coming any day now. Something about it feeling right. You’d be bringing soup to her later tonight to help give her a little extra strength for the coming days. There’d been men passing through town—not like Soonyoung, but gruffer. Rough around the edges. They had yet to do anything, but plenty of people were on edge because of it.

“It feels like I’ve missed a lot.” 

“Well… You wouldn’t if you stayed.” You squeezed his hand a little. “I know it’s a big decision… But I’d be happy to see you around more often.”

Soonyoung found himself smiling a little. Such little time together, and he thought you might be feeling something for him, too. “I’ll think about it.” 

“Good. My friends want to meet you sometime. Meet the cutie I have my eye on.” You rolled your eyes a little. “Seriously… They act like I’m a recluse.”

Soonyoung ran his thumb along the back of your hand. “If you want me to meet them…”

“Maybe later,” you said. “Gotta be sure I’m right about you first.”

He blinked. “Right…? About what?”

“That you’re… right.” You’d grown flustered. “That this wasn’t just me being drunk and seeing a cute stranger and—and being curious, I guess.” 

You’d let go of his hand for a moment, and he swore he ached to feel it again. You pushed open the gate to your home, small enough that Soonyoung could probably leap over it if he tried. He waited for a moment, watching as you stopped and turned to face him. With a nod of your head, he followed after you quickly. You unlocked your door, pushing it open and letting him in before you secured it back in place. 

Although your home was small, it was cozy. He watched as you drew back the curtains at your windows, where he could see a green yard behind it, plants growing. Some flowers—although those looked more to be wildflowers that you’d begun to tend to. Vegetables, mainly. Maybe that was why you were mainly buying fruit in the city. He watched as you draped your  shawl over a chair, taking your bag to sort things out and put them into the hanging baskets above your kitchen space. Apples, pears, a bowl of berries… You had a place for most things. Soonyoung busied himself with looking around further. You had a little sitting area near your front door with an old, slightly frumpy couch that still looked comfortable to curl up in. A chair that sat closer to the currently extinguished fireplace, where he realized you could comfortably cook if you chose to do so. There was dwindling firewood in a pile nearby, already chopped. Was that your doing? Or someone else in the town? Soonyoung wanted to know. You had said that he was the only person who caught your eye, but…

He pushed the thought aside. He didn’t think you’d lead him on if there were other people—plus you had said your friends were teasing you. He’d trust you for now. Soonyoung ran a hand over the back of your couch, a thick quilt draped over it. 

“That was my mother’s,” you said. “She made it with my grandmother when she was expecting me. She’d always drape it over herself whenever she was caring for me.” You set your bag aside. “She gave it to me when I moved out after she’d added more to it.” 

He traced his fingers over a square that had a flower sewn into it. “That’s sweet.”

“I think she wants me to pass it down to my child one day,” you said. “Add my own squares. She taught me once, actually. I think I will.” 

His face grew hotter, and he stepped away, distracting himself with a little carved animal that was sitting on your counter. “Did you make this?”

You’d giggled, and made your way over. “Mhm. It’s not very good, but… My grandmother had books of animals. It’s a tiger.” You held it up. “I’ve never actually seen one, but they say the God of the Sun’s accompanied by a tiger wherever he goes.” For a moment, you looked between him and the little wooden tiger. You reached for his hand a moment later, pressing it into his palm and curling his fingers around. “Why don’t you keep it?”

“Huh?” He looked down at it. “But it’s yours.”

“And now it’s yours.” You smiled at him. “You can look at it and think of me.” 

He would. He’d keep it with him forever now. Soonyoung turned his attention to the window again. “You grow things?”

“Most people do.” You made your way to the back door, unlatching it and pulling it open. Soonyoung followed you out and watched as you admired your tomatoes. “I’m not great at it, but I’ve managed to keep a few things alive so far.”

The cucumbers you were growing seemed to be doing fine, as were the green beans that stretched up their poles. He saw the way the cucumber plants were crawling up your fence a bit, giving them a structure to grow against and protection from the elements. You had a separate section out for carrots that were struggling a bit more, but faring way better than the tomatoes you’d been trying to grow. Your lettuce, however, was definitely thriving way more than the rest of your garden. 

“It’s not a lot,” you said, looking at the peas you’d been growing. “But it helps. I sell lettuce down at the market and it usually fetches pretty well…” 

“You said you were making soup?”

Suddenly, you snapped back to face him. “Oh my god, the soup!” You rushed back inside, digging through a low cabinet for a heavy-looking pot. “I’m yours,” you said as you turned back to him, “as long as we talk here.” 

He chuckled. “I’m okay with that.”

You rested a hand on his chest. “Tomorrow,” you said, “we can go out. I’m sorry I forgot about it earlier.”

Something about you was so endearing. You’d pulled out a cutting board and a sharpened knife before turning to Soonyoung. When you asked if he knew how to cook, he said he wasn’t very good at it. With a roll of your eyes, you said you’d teach him later. All he needed to do was slice ingredients while you fetched water for this soup. If he wanted to, he could start the fire for you once you’d set everything up, and you’d take over with the harder parts of it all. The good thing about this soup, you told him, was that it could be easy to throw together. So the two of you got to work: Soonyoung with carefully slicing carrots for you, and you with setting up… well, everything else. He listened to the way you hummed to yourself as you worked, and he wished he could know the songs in your heart. If he asked Jihoon, he’d turn him away. 

How was he supposed to face Jihoon from now on…? Hansol wouldn’t hide Soonyoung’s feelings for you as they began to blossom more and more with each passing second. 

“Oh… Soonyoung.” You’d come back to him while he was trying to slice potatoes, moving slow as he worked. “Here,” you reached out, hands over his own to guide them. “It’s easier if you do it like this…”

Mingyu would adore you, at least. Despite not having a need to eat, Mingyu enjoyed cooking for the fun of it. Seokmin joined him sometimes, too. At least Soonyoung got to eat the delicious things they made. A second later, Soonyoung realized that you were bullshitting him: he was maybe slow in order to watch his fingers, but you were doing the exact same thing he was doing.

“You just want to—”

“Be close to you?” You smiled. “I do.” 

He chuckled. “You don’t have to make up a reason,” he said, gently nudging your hands away. “You can be close to me if you want.”

You let out a happy hum as you looked at him, leaning in just close enough to kiss him if he were lucky. “Good to know.”  And then you pulled away just as he leaned in to kiss you, giggling as you went. 

What has he gotten himself into?

Junhui’s domain was just as vibrant and full of life as one would expect from the God of the Harvest. The number of plants growing would make Soonyoung’s head spin if he tried to count them all, and, since he wasn’t much of a cook anyway, he merely left it at ones he could easily recognize. Most days, Junhui could be found in the center of it all, resting underneath a pavilion decorated with sheer white curtains trimmed with matching lace. The red of his flowing garb stood out against it all, and Soonyoung often saw the way the fabric flowed as Junhui danced for himself and only himself. His eyes were shut as he let his body move as he pleased, content to let inspiration take hold as it desired. There was a bottle of wine set atop a nearby table—a sign that Minghao had been here recently, since Jun always kept his bottles elsewhere for safe keeping. He had to wonder what the two had talked about. 

“Is this about her?”

Jun had slowed to a stop, opening his eyes as he looked to where Soonyoung lingered among the trees. He had gotten it in one, and the knowing smile on his face said it. He gestured for Soonyoung to come forward and join him as he settled into a cushioned chair off to one side, right next to that bottle of wine.

Soonyoung settled into the other, and watched as his friend poured him a glass. “I have a favor to ask.”

“It’s her garden, isn’t it?” Jun hummed to himself, eyes twinkling a little. “Are you sure you want to get so close to a mortal?”

Soonyoung nodded. “Yes.”

“You were there for Jihoon,” he said, voice softer this time. “You had to be the one to calm him down before the tides were thrown out of balance.” 

But I’ll be fine, Soonyoung wanted to say. He wouldn’t scorch the earth. He’d control himself. “Will you help her?”

Jun hummed to himself for a moment. “Perhaps.”

“That isn’t a yes—”

“What’s in your pocket?”

Soonyoung pulled out the little tiger figurine. Immediately, Jun began to coo over it, reaching out to get a closer look. He drew his hand back, unsure of whether he wanted to trust anyone with it… But he relented after a moment, letting Jun take it and hold it up to the light. He traced over the tiger stripes, smiling to himself all the while, so truly endeared by this little wooden tiger that you had made. It wasn’t perfect, and it looked much more like an average cat, but you had definitely tried when carving it.

“How cute,” he giggled. “No wonder you like her so much. Can she make a cat?”

Soonyoung furrowed his brow. “What?”

“I’ll do it if she makes me a cat later. Say it’s for a friend.” 

“I’m not—”

“Please?” Jun had smiled at him, pressing the tiger back into his hand. “I’ll bless her garden extra strong if you can bring me one that’s a cat.” 

Soonyoung sighed. “Okay,” he said. “I’ll ask her to make you a cat. I’ll say it’s a present. Will you bless her garden tonight, please? I’m going to see her first thing because I want to see her face when she notices it improving.” 

Jun had given his promise. Soonyoung downed his wine before hugging him tight, and left Jun’s domain quickly. He’d passed by Seungkwan, who’d been deep in conversation with Hansol and Seungcheol when he saw him. With a wave, he continued on, only to see Hansol wrinkle his nose again when he glanced back one final time. It must be from the love. Which was strange: Hansol had always said love was sweet. Why wrinkle his nose…? Soonyoung let the thought go before he could dwell too much on it. He didn’t need to doubt his feelings for you at all. Mortals lived shorter lives, which meant that Soonyoung needed to treasure his time with you while he had it. Which meant he needed to go rest before he went down to the mortal realm—

“Soonyoung.”

Wonwoo stood at the entry to his domain, having been waiting for him. He adjusted the collar of his shirt, tucked tight against his neck, and watched him from behind those wide spectacles. Wonwoo said nothing as he drew his hood back from over his head, a thick book held in his other arm as he awaited for Soonyoung to come closer. For the God of Time, he always looked as though he’d switch domains with Jihoon or Seokmin at any moment; dark fabrics flowing off of him and shining a little within the light. Yet behind that stoic exterior, Soonyoung knew that he was warm (even if he wasn’t so now). He knew a lot of things beyond the knowledge he presided over. He knew the past, the present, and the future…

Which must be why he was here now. “Yes?”

He nodded toward the entry to his own domain. “Come with me.”

The moment Wonwoo turned his back, Soonyoung hung his head and held back the urge to groan with annoyance. He needed to see you tomorrow, which meant he needed to rest because going down to the mortal realm wasn’t exactly the easiest thing in the world—especially when he had to work extra hard to repress the godly aura that had attracted you to him in the first place. He needed you to like him for him (and, so far, you seemed to). Yet he followed after Wonwoo, passing through the shimmering doorway and into the endless library in which Wonwoo often resided. The quiet ticking of a clock that Soonyoung never saw seemed to echo about, and he stepped onto the clock face (not the source of the ticking: Soonyoung had checked) that was embedded into the floor. The seconds ticked by, one by one, and Soonyoung watched as Wonwoo began to search for another book. He climbed a ladder, a fox made of translucent, pale blue magic leaping up beside him. It shut its eyes and glowed a little brighter, and Soonyoung watched Wonwoo pet its head with a quiet thanks.

“What do you want?” He called out.

“Hold on.” He pulled down another one, thick and just as heavy as the one he’d been carrying. He descended that ladder, and came to the desk in the middle of the room. “You need to stop seeing this human.”

Soonyoung stared at him, dumbfounded. “What?”

“Joshua should have told you to stop, but he didn’t. So I will,” Wonwoo began to flip through pages. “She doesn’t have much time. She’ll have less if you continue to interfere.” 

You’d live less…? “You don’t know that—”

“It’s written.” Wonwoo slid the book across the table to him. “You can’t rewrite a person’s life. We’ve tried. All we can do is make sure that things go according to plan—”

“No!” He shut the book, shoving it across the desk. “I’m not going to give her up. I’ll find a way.”

“You’re acting like a child,” Wonwoo kept his voice even and calm. “If I need to get Seungcheol involved—”

“You don’t need to get him involved,” another voice sounded from the entryway. Soonyoung turned, and in strolled Mingyu, hands tucked into his pockets. “Seungcheol wouldn’t be able to stop him anyway.” 

Wonwoo furrowed his brow. “Mingyu, you remembered what happened last time—”

“And I know that it’ll all be all right.” Mingyu stopped next to Soonyoung. He pulled out a small golden pendant that hung from a long chain, teeming with a mythical energy that was powerful. “Because Soonyoung will give her this, and your stupid book will change to see fit. It’s happened before—”

“That was an accident.”

“Well, accident it again.” Mingyu dropped the pendant into Soonyoung’s hand. “It’ll give her a little extra luck. A longer life, if things go right.” 

“You don’t know what you’re messing with, Mingyu,” Wonwoo glowered at him from behind those glasses, eyes cold as steel. The room felt as though it’d fallen a few degrees, too. “This could easily put her in further danger—”

“It won’t,” Mingyu said, cocky as ever. The God of Freedom fit him just as much as his other titles. “Because luck will be on her side now.” 

Before he could watch the two argue further, Soonyoung ducked out, throwing his thanks over his shoulder as he returned to his own domain. He felt the sun kiss his face as he wandered in, holding up the pendant so that it’d shimmer in the light. He could already envision it against your skin, shining perfectly in the sun as he stole you away for the day. Maybe he’d find a way to bring you here, to his domain, if he could. Then again… Seungcheol had banned mortals for good reason. He’d seen the destruction that they could bring, and this world wasn’t suited for them to live in anyhow. Still… He wished that you could see it. All he wanted to do was curl up on the grass with you, and sleep under the sunshine of his own domain. If he could find a way, he’d do it in a heartbeat. 

Instead, he threw himself down onto his own chaise, curling up to rest for a while. He already missed the soft plush of your couch and the quilt that you shared together as you two enjoyed a bowl of soup together. He’d never admit it to any of the others, but your cooking would outdo Mingyu’s any day (although, knowing him, Mingyu would claim he was only saying it because he liked you). Perhaps if Mingyu wanted, he could come around… After Soonyoung had become yours. If stupid handsome Mingyu had shown up, then there was no telling if you’d stay so in love with Soonyoung or if stupid, charmingly handsome, clumsy Mingyu would somehow manage to steal your heart. 

(It was childish to think, but Soonyoung pouted as he drifted off nonetheless.)

By the time he woke up, he knew the sun would soon be rising on the world below. Which meant that he needed to go soon. Jun would hopefully be returning as Soonyoung was leaving, and Soonyoung hoped to get a glance at your garden before you did. It wouldn’t be thriving—not immediately—but Soonyoung knew it’d look a little more verdant. Maybe the tomatoes would have grown a little more, though, so that you could be proud of them. 

Jihoon stood in his way, though. “Soonyoung—”

“I remember what happened to them,” he said. “And I know you want me to stop.” 

“And you won’t.” Jihoon pressed his lips together. “I know.” 

“I think I love her,” he said. “I’ve… I’ve never felt like this before.”

Jihoon shut his eyes for a moment. He remembered how it felt, too: that rush of emotion that was so new to him. No one else had warned him about the more painful ones that would overtake him. No one but Seungcheol, who had lived that grief over and over again when wars started and ended. Seungcheol had been hardened by it: Jihoon was merely a god who wanted to spin songs for his lovers and write lyrical poems for them, too. The crystal around his neck seemed to glow a little brighter, and he nodded after a moment.

“Be careful.” 

Soonyoung promised he would. He paused, turning back to Jihoon as he reached out for the necklace. Most days, Jihoon would turn away. Today he stayed still, and watched as Soonyoung brushed his fingers over it, that tiny flame within it still burning as bright as it did so long ago. If Soonyoung shut his eyes, he could feel fingers pressing against his own, a forehead pressing against his. Whether it was Jihoon’s or his lover, he would never be certain. Soonyoung always thought it was his lover, though: their touch was softer than Jihoon’s, who didn’t hesitate to put Soonyoung in his place the same way brothers fought. 

He drew his hand back. Would this be him one day? Holding onto a crystal filled with his lover’s life? He hoped not. He’d find a way to keep you with him. Jihoon ran out of time. Soonyoung, with Wonwoo’s warning, would not. He refused to. 

Jihoon watched as Soonyoung took off, and he curled his hand around that crystal again. “I know.” He shut his eyes again, and he could feel the way his lover pressed their lips against his skin, gentle as could be. “I know,” he repeated. “I’ll keep watching over him.”

And then he could feel the curve of a smile, too, and he found himself smiling. The sadness in his soul would always be there, but at least his lover’s flame still kept it warm.

True to his plans, Soonyoung came to you again that day. Barely seconds after he’d knocked at your door, you had opened it and pulled him inside, gushing about your garden. He feigned surprise well when you showed him how your tomatoes seemed to have found a new sense of life. He’d thank Jun when he saw him next: your joy was worth it. He reached into his pocket, finding the necklace as it pooled into a tiny pile.

“I… brought you something.” 

You turned to him, clearly surprised. “Huh?”

“I saw it and I thought of you,” he unraveled the chain, holding it up. The round pendant twisted, shining in the sunlight, and he saw the way you lit up at it in pure shock. It… truthfully looked as though it would be expensive.

“Soonyoung…”

“Can I…?” He unlatched the clasp, and you turned with a tiny smile. Carefully, he draped it around your neck, fixing the clasp. His fingers brushed against the back of your neck, and he stepped back. “There.”

You turned back to face him, smiling a little. The chain was longer than he expected, the pendant falling closer to your chest than your collarbones, but you looked just as radiant as you always did. “Thank you,” you said quietly. “I’ll treasure it always.”

The tiniest flower of jealousy seemed to bloom within Soonyoung’s stomach. All you knew was this had been Soonyoung’s present to you… and yet all Soonyoung could think about was stupid Mingyu’s face, smiling brightly. He’d never mention that you loved it to Mingyu. He’d never heard the end of it if he did. 

“Actually… I want to show you something.”

Soonyoung followed you out of your house, closing the door behind him and immediately hearing an unsettling noise when he did. When trying to open it, you discovered that he’d messed with it so it didn’t sit correctly anymore. You made a small joke about Soonyoung not knowing his own strength (oh, if only you knew) before you took his hand anyway.

“I’ll have someone come around eventually,” you said. “Don’t worry about it.” 

So he wouldn’t. He trusted you, and he figured he would merely break it further if he tried. You took his hand, and began to guide him out of the town, saying something about how this would be a walk. He asked casually enough about if you would carve a little cat out of wood, since he had a friend who saw the tiger and loved it so much. You had agreed with a warm giggle, saying that you would do anything for him, before you started to tell him stories as you entered the woods together. In your youth, you would get lost within these woods alongside your friends. The sun would be setting as you all found your way home, your friends scared of the witches that the bigger kids always said lived in the woods. You, on the other hand, had never been. 

“One day, I got separated from everyone,” you kicked a pebble along the path. “It was getting darker, and I started getting scared that I might not find my way home. And then… I saw it. There was this glowing bear in the woods. And it looked at me, and I felt like it was telling me to follow it.”

Soonyoung already knew what it was: the guardian of forests. Seungkwan’s doing, no doubt. Seungkwan had always found some way to protect children through sending a benevolent bear to guide them out of the forests when they were lost. It was surrounded by this warm glow as another way to tell them that it was safe. Follow me, the aura said, I’ll protect you. It protected others too, according to Seungkwan, but it would always come to children when they needed it.

“I feel like I’ve always had a connection with nature because of it,” you said. The two of you had entered into a clearing within the forest, and you let go of his hand. “That’s why I’ve always dreamed of building a home here.” You spread your arms out, twirling in the sunlight before you stopped to face him again. “But for now, it’s where I come to think.”

“Do you come here often?” Soonyoung walked forward, taking in the sights.

It almost reminded him of his own domain a little bit. There were wildflowers springing up from the grass, dotting the area with little white and yellow and pink buds. He could hear the brook in the distance if he listened closely, and the sound of animals running to and fro. If it were a little brighter, it’d be like home for him. Soonyoung turned to watch you as you seemed to thrive here, crouching down to admire the flowers. He could hear the music of the earth if he listened close enough: the bubbles in the brook, the scratching of a squirrel in the trees, the wind as it whistled…

“Do you dance?”

You turned, before standing back up. “Do you?” You smiled. “Are you asking me to dance this time, Soonyoung?”

He smiled, and offered his hands to you. The smile you gave him in return could light the sun once over, and you placed your hands in his own. He drew you closer to him, guiding you happily. 

“You’re better when I’m not drunk,” you teased. “Is this what you do for a living?”

“Something like that,” he laughed warmly. He squeezed your hands a little, twirling you out from him. “So… Why do you like me?” He brought you back in, “You said you didn’t like the other people here. Why me?”

You hummed for a moment, thinking over the question. “At first, you just… You stood out. But now… I think you’re sweet. You came back to town, and I realized I really liked dancing with you that night.”

“I came back to town because I liked you, too,” he confessed. “I thought… I didn’t want to miss this chance.”

“Really?” You giggled softly. “So why did you like me, then?”

Because you seemed to outshine life itself, and he needed to know why. “I like your stories.”

“Well… Good,” you hummed. “Is that all?”

He smiled, drawing you in closer. “And I like you.”

Something about it made you laugh. “You’re so honest,” you said. “I like that. Most people dance around their feelings for far too long.” You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, gazing into his eyes. “The girl at the marketplace counting petals and wondering if the other girl loves or not despite knowing the answer. The boy that was too shy to tell his friend that he loves him until his friend says it first…” You hummed. “Why waste time when you’ve found your actual soulmate?”

“Is that what I am?” Soonyoung’s hands rested on your hips. “Your soulmate?”

You smiled at him again. “Is that what you think I am?”

Soonyoung leaned in, kissing you instead, and you kissed back eagerly. Soulmate, he thought to himself. It was as though Hansol had wrapped a string around the two of you, tying you together in a hidden way that only his heart knew to be true. He felt as though something deep within him had yearned for you since the moment the two of you met. You might be his soulmate… 

Soonyoung liked the sound of that.

Hansol had come into Soonyoung’s domain that night when he returned home, and immediately gagged when he saw him. Soonyoung had looked up to where Hansol had hunched over, a wrist pressed against his mouth as he leaned against a pillar near the entry point to his domain. Was the smell truly that strong? Jihoon had said Hansol had known that Soonyoung was in love, and apparently he reeked of the smell. Jihoon once smelled like this, too—that had to be what Hansol was smelling. The love of a god to a mortal, something truly awful apparently. 

“Soonyoung,” he said, catching his breath. “You’re going to get yourself hurt.”

Soonyoung groaned. “Why does everyone keep telling me that?” He sat up from his space in the grass, where he’d been daydreaming about the day he spent with you. If he closed his eyes, he could pretend he was in that clearing again, kissing you.

“I mean it,” Hansol said. “Dude. I don’t want to tell you this, but I spoke to the others. Wonwoo and Seokmin both agreed that no matter what you do, she’s going to die because of it. Even Joshua admitted it—”

With a wave of his hand, Hansol was whisked out of his domain, and the entryway was temporarily severed. He turned over onto his side, shutting his eyes again. Everyone was against this, but why? If he was truly putting you in danger, then they should tell him what it was. That way, Soonyoung would be able to find a way to protect you. All the others ever did was tell him to stop, and they never gave him a real reason past a vague idea that you would die. All mortals would die one day, and Soonyoung just wanted to enjoy the time had with you before he lost you. If he lost you. Maybe, by then, he would have found a way to truly save you—and not in the way Jihoon had done. 

He started to see you daily. Some days the two of you would walk together, hand in hand, through the town. He would accompany you to the market, and you would teach him how to haggle, and he would carry your bags back home like the gentleman he was trying to be for you. You never did get that door fixed, but you had said you didn’t mind it. It just meant you had to lift it a little when you opened or closed it, and that unwanted visitors wouldn’t be able to get in so easily. He met your friends once, as they ate dinner with the two of you and teased you endlessly for falling so hard for Soonyoung. You didn’t even deny it anymore, and Soonyoung would smile so hard that his cheeks hurt. They pointed out that he seemed to love you just as much, and Soonyoung didn’t deny it, either. He just kissed you passionately once the two of you were left alone again, happy to have your company. Other days, the two of you would rest in your home together. You would read poetry to him sometimes, because he loved to listen to the sound of your voice. Everything was always prettier when it came from you. He watched you carve the cat for Jun one day, explaining everything as you did. Your mother had taught you how to carve these things, and you were a little better at normal cats than you were tigers. Soonyoung passed it to Jun one day and saw the look of pure delight in his eyes when he looked it over, thanking him for the gift. 

Seokmin asked to meet you one day. At first, Soonyoung had been hesitant… But he let him accompany him down to your home. When you answered the door, you’d almost greeted Soonyoung with a kiss until you saw his companion.

“This is my friend,” Soonyoung said. “He was at the festival with me, actually. He was passing through town, and—”

“I’m Seokmin,” he introduced himself, taking your hand. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Yet the moment his touch met yours, Soonyoung could see that Seokmin’s smile twitched a little. All too easily, he recovered and followed you into your home. You always made extra for dinner, since your neighbor had a baby to take care of now, and you would try to take food to her and her partner when you could. If not you, then other people did—everyone looked out for one another here. Seokmin listened to you attentively as you talked over dinner, asking questions about how he knew Soonyoung (he worked alongside him before). Seokmin seemed to take the role of entertainer with ease, always knowing the right thing to say to make you laugh. All Soonyoung could do was sit by and fall even deeper in love with you. 

The two of them left your house, making their way out of town so they could return home, and Soonyoung saw the way Seokmin changed within an instant. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Seokmin continued forward. “I see why you adore her so much.” He paused, though, and turned to face Soonyoung in the dying light of day. “You want to see her again, don’t you?”

Soonyoung smiled to himself. “I always do.”

“You should go, then. I’m sure she wants to see you, too. I’ll go home by myself.”

Soonyoung could only thank him, turning on his heel to return to you. You had greeted him warmly, and the moment that the door was shut behind the two of you, you’d taken him into your arms and kissed him passionately. His back bumped against the door, and his hands fell to your waist immediately. 

“Your friend is nice,” you said when you stopped for a moment, “but I had to fight myself to keep my hands off of you.” 

He chuckled, drawing you back in for another kiss. “Don’t you always?”

You playfully swatted at his side, pressing a quick peck against his lips. “With you, I really have to.” Your hands slipped underneath his shirt. “Soonyoung, I—” 

Your fingertips traced his bare skin, and suddenly he understood what it felt to want another person deeply. That deep, devoted need to be closer to you than he had ever been before. He stared at you, and he realized that you felt it, too. No wonder you always found some way to touch him. He’d kissed you passionately before, that need building within the core of his being to be with you, but not like this. It felt hot and heavy and his head felt suddenly so much foggier than it had ever been, his mind centered only on you, you, you. He drew you back in for another kiss, deeper than before.

“Soonyoung,” you said after a moment. “Do you want me?”

He did. More than anything now. He was thankful for his godly strength, even when suppressing everything else about himself, as he lifted you into his arms with ease. He carried you away, your arms hooked around his neck as you giggled. With every taunting kiss you placed against his neck, he grew giddier, and he stopped hesitating once he threw you onto your bed. You had lured in him fully, and he was more than ready to be yours in every possible way.

Which must have been why he felt so guilty come morning. He’d woken up, turning over to admire the beautiful sight of your bare skin. He wished to study you further, to have a mental map of every dip and freckle and blemish your skin had so that he could worship every single part of you fully. But he needed to return home, at least to attend to what he needed to. He leaned in, kissing your lips for as long as he could spare before he left your bed. It had woken you up, and you watched him get dressed in the early light of day, chuckling to yourself at the marks you’d left on him. 

“Can’t you just… stay here with me?” You reached for his hand, drawing  him in again. “Forever?”

A temptation so, so sweet… but one he had to turn down again. “Maybe tomorrow,” he said. He could do this, he thought to himself. He could live a double life. He just needed to get things in order. “I don’t want to go.”

You let out a sigh—not disappointed or annoyed, but tired. “I know.” You kissed his knuckles. “Soonyoung, I—”

He kissed you one more time, and he felt the way you smiled into it after a moment. He drew back, pressing one final kiss against your forehead. “Tomorrow,” he promised. “I’ll come back to you.”

Your smile wavered for barely a second. “I know you will. Until tomorrow.”

Hansol wrinkled his nose again when Soonyoung passed by him. Jihoon looked concerned. Soonyoung just returned to his own realm to do what he needed to do. All too soon, he curled up on a warm patch of grass, and fell asleep, lost in a beautiful sense of bliss he already ached to feel again.

Jihoon yanked Soonyoung from his sleep without a second thought, and didn’t speak once as he dragged him out of his domain. Soonyoung had barely woken up, yet followed Jihoon dutifully. Sometimes the gods had these meetings for whatever reason. Typically it was when war was coming, because Seungcheol would always go down below, unseen by mortals, to watch the bloodshed. To circle war tables and sometimes push for something that would end the fighting sooner. It was invigorating. It was draining. But Jeonghan was in charge until peace came, in which Jeonghan would go down and bring Seungcheol home. Of course, not all of this pertained to the others so much as it was just a reminder that they had jobs to do. That just because Seungcheol was leaving was not an excuse to play around.

Yet Jihoon shoved him toward the middle of the room without a word. Soonyoung realized that all eyes were on him—save for Seungcheol, who was staring up at a mirror that Joshua must have brought in as an alternate to his pools of water, and Jeonghan, who was watching Seungcheol.

“What’s going on?”

“It’s over, Soonyoung.” Seungcheol turned back to him, pity in his eyes. Guilt, too. A look that said I should have never let it get this far. “I’m sorry.”

Soonyoung looked up at the mirror, something pulling him toward it. He tried to focus harder on the blurry scene. It was always harder for anyone who wasn’t Joshua (or a save few others) to look into a person’s life and see what was happening. But he saw it. Fire. Your town. Your home. You, in your bed, waking up to the sound of someone trying to get in. The vision was lost as he stumbled back. “No—”

Seungcheol took his hand. “Soonyoung, I’m sorry—”

Seokmin stepped forward. “She was marked for death. I felt it when I touched her hand. I’m sorry, Soonyoung, I couldn’t remove it. It’s in fate’s hands now—”

“No!” 

Soonyoung tore his hand free from Seungcheol’s grip and took off running. Despite the lunge Mingyu had made for him, Soonyoung was desperate. He threw his elbow into the man’s ribs. Even gods had weak spots when it came to another god hitting them, after all. Soonyoung needed to get to you now, before something worse could happen. He landed below, barely masking his aura as he took off running toward your home.

Your house was ruined by the time he got there. It was still burning, but he screamed your name. The door was open, and he rushed in to see your ransacked home. Broken pots and ceramics, furniture upturned and strew everywhere, curtains ripped to shreds… But the back door was open. He went through it and saw your poor, still-burning garden. Yet no you. The ground was disheveled near the fence, trailing up the side of it too. You got out.

You got out. 

Soonyoung hopped the fence with ease, taking off running in the direction that the dirt led. Toward the forest—you’d ran away. You must have. He just kept yelling your name as loudly as he could, listening for something, anything, that told him you were alive. If he focused on the little wooden tiger in his pocket, he could still feel you. Everyone had a connection to their creations, and he just had to follow it to you. This golden string that was wrapped around his own soul and drawing him forward. Yet he heard crunching, further from the twigs and leaves underneath his own feet. He wasn’t alone. 

He saw you first, lying on the ground in the clearing that you’d kissed him in. And in a different direction, he saw a man, making his way toward you. All it took was the glint of a knife for Soonyoung to drop his aura. 

“Get the FUCK away from her!” 

And within seconds, the man had burst into flames. Soonyoung stood, the sound of his scream echoing in his ears, and he turned his attention back to you. The man collapsed to the ground, dying and burning and filling the air with this disgusting smell that’d haunt him forever. Yet Soonyoung just made his way forward to you, growing more desperate with those last few steps. He dropped to his knees next to your crumpled body, staring at you for just a moment. You’d curled in on yourself, chest slowly rising and falling. You were alive. All Soonyoung could do was say your name once more as he reached for you, suddenly so much more helpless than he’d ever been before.

“I’m here,” he said, reaching for you. “I’m here, I’m here…”

Your life was fading, and he could see it in your eyes as they seemed to grow dimmer. Yet the light that was starting to shine around him reflected in them. “... Soonyoung?”

“It’s me,” he said, a hand cupping your face. He could feel powerful presences growing closer to him. The others were coming. “What happened?”

Before you could answer, he suddenly noticed the dark stain at your abdomen. He reached a hand down, and pulled his hand away to see dark blood covering his fingers. Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no—

“I’m sorry,” you wheezed out, hand taking his, your own blood smearing against your skin. “I… I tried to run, Soonyoung. I’m lucky. I… I heard one of them trying to break in, and…”

“Who did this to you?”

“Bandits.” You pressed your cheek against his hand. “Came into town yesterday. Didn’t mention it.” Your brows furrowed together in pain, one of your hands dropping down to your wound. “Didn’t—Didn’t wanna scare you…”

“No,” he whispered, voice cracking, “nonono… Don’t,” he clutched your hand in his, “don’t go.” 

“Soonie,” your hand squeezed his. Your eyes were welling up with tears that he could see as his light grew brighter. “It hurts.”

He could fix this. He had to fix this. It wasn’t your time yet—Seokmin had to be wrong. It couldn’t be your time yet. Not when you had so much more life to live. Not now. 

“Soonyoung!” Seokmin’s voice rang out across the clearing. And then he heard him say his name again, softer as he grew closer. Seokmin kneeled down on the other side of you. “It’s time,” he said. He reached toward you, “I have to take her—”

“No!” Soonyoung slapped his hand away. He felt the air grow hotter around him. The sky was bright with fire and ash, and even the moon overhead seemed to glow brighter now. “You aren’t taking her!”

Wonwoo stepped forward, too. “Soonyoung, we warned you—”

“You aren’t touching her!” 

Fire crackled around Soonyoung, and he watched as Seokmin and Wonwoo backed off immediately. Sweat began to bead at Soonyoung’s browline, and the world seemed so, so desperately hot. Even the others had recognized it, as Soonyoung had seen the way they were tugging at their clothes and wiping away sweat. Jihoon even seemed pained, his own aura glowing a little brighter. Soonyoung’s gaze fell to you again, one hand falling down to your wound. Maybe… Maybe if he used a little of his fire, he could fix this. He could close your wound, and Joshua would heal you, because Joshua always supported him, and you would live. You had to live. He couldn’t let you go. He wasn’t Jihoon: Soonyoung was not as strong as Jihoon. He felt tears run down his face, and he let you a sob, pulling you into his arms, face buried in your shoulder. You were still alive in his arms, he just had to find a way to keep you there.

“Don’t—Don’t cry.” You chuckled weakly. “Can’t cry over me, Soonie.” He felt your hand push between the two of you, and he drew back to see the pain on your face. “Guess… Guess the girl who gave you this won, huh?”

… What? Soonyoung felt a tug around his neck. He stared at you, and then looked down to where your hand had clasped around that little golden vial. 

“I hope she’s nice to you,” your voice grew quieter. And then you let out a whine, eyes squeezing shut. “Fuck—”

Soonyoung didn’t think. He ripped the vial from around his throat, the corded knot coming undone with ease. He ripped the cork out with his teeth.

“Soonyoung, what are you—” Minghao had spoken up. “Soonyoung!”

“Let him.” Joshua hid a smile, standing furthest away from the group. 

Soonyoung could hear someone questioning Joshua, but his eyes met yours as he squeezed you gently. You’d opened your eyes again after a moment, tears running down your cheeks. He took a deep breath. “Trust me,” he said, “and I’ll tell you everything.” 

Your life continued to fade within his arms, and Soonyoung knew he needed to act now. He pushed the vial between your lips, and watched the golden liquid drain into your mouth. He watched as you weakly swallowed it, entrusting your life into Soonyoung’s hands without hesitating. Soonyoung dropped the bottle onto the ground, and watched, waiting for something to happen. All too soon, it did as your chest began to glow. A ray of golden light, so similar to Soonyoung’s own, sparked up from within it, and then began to spread throughout your body. Suddenly, that fading reversed. Your life grew stronger—stronger than it had been before. The wound in your stomach looked as though it had the sun’s rays stretch from it before he watched the skin pull itself back together, the wound disappearing under blood until it faded into nothing but soft skin. 

He hoped you would look him in the eyes, suddenly alive again. Instead, your eyes fluttered shut, and your head lulled. But he could feel the hum of your life force as it grew stronger and stronger underneath his fingers. He could see you breathing. Soonyoung turned, looking to Joshua and calling out to him with a quiet “Shua—”

Who merely smiled and raised a hand, waving before disappearing into thin air. Immediately, it was followed by the yelling of angry and confused gods before they started to follow after him… Except for Soonyoung. He turned back to you, pressing his forehead against yours. Beside him, he could feel Jihoon crouching down.

“I’m sorry,” he said when he looked up, “that this couldn’t be done for—”

“Life changes,” Jihoon simply said. “Joshua learns.” 

Suddenly, it clicked. Joshua had always seen this coming. Soonyoung looked to you, and hoisted you into his arms with that same godly strength he used to break your door and to carry you to bed before. He saw something split, though: the you in his arms was not the you left on the ground. Had this happened when he was given godhood? Or was he made differently? He’d have to ask Seungcheol sometime. But he paused, paying respects to your mortal form before he turned to Jihoon. The rain had begun to finally begun, the distant smoke and fire having begun to die down. Jihoon stood beside him, and looked to the distance.

“Let’s go home.”

Underneath the warm sunlight, you woke up in a daze. One minute you had felt yourself clinging to that last thread of life, and now…

“Good morning.”

Soonyoung kneeled beside you, a hand cupping your face. He looked at you so, so lovingly now. You realized after a moment, though, that something was… off about him. He seemed to have this stronger aura that surrounded him. The same one that had drawn you to him that first night, but seemed to disappear when he returned to you. He felt warmer, too, underneath your fingertips as you reached up, taking your face into his hands. Maybe even more radiant, if you were honest, but Soonyoung had always been radiant in your eyes. He smiled at you, leaning in to press his forehead against your own. Your memories were foggy, but you remembered Soonyoung clinging to you. The sound of him yelling at others, and this weird, warm feeling that overtook you for a moment before it was frightened away. Then you were fading and fighting…

Now you were here with your lover. 

“Where am I?” You asked after a moment, once Soonyoung had drawn away. “Is this… death?” Then you paused. “Soonyoung, did they get you—”

He merely laughed, so soft and warm and welcoming. “I have… a lot that I need to tell you. Please don’t be mad.” 

Your lover was literally a god. The same god you had been celebrating that night in the center of town when you drunkenly tripped over your feet and into his arms. Talk about full of himself (you’d have to tease him over it later). Soonyoung told you everything, though. For as long as he could remember, he’d been the God of the Sun and the God of Dance. So when he told you that he was a dancer, he wasn’t technically lying… It just happened to go a little beyond that. The man he had brought to you once, Seokmin, was the God of Death and the Underworld, always looking after those who depart from life with a warm hand to guide them onward. He’d almost taken you a few days ago when Soonyoung found you, but… You technically owed your life, whatever it was now, to Joshua, the God of Life and of Medicine.

“I saw what was going to happen,” Joshua had confirmed Soonyoung’s suspicions casually enough. Soonyoung had brought you to him because you wanted to thank him yourself. “I watched Jihoon lose his lover. I wasn’t going to let it happen again.”

“Jihoon…?”

Said god lingered around the doorway to Joshua’s domain, having followed you and Soonyoung in. Soonyoung drew away from you, just enough to turn and look at him. 

“My brother,” Soonyoung said. “They’re all my brothers, I mean, but… Jihoon’s different.”

Jihoon’s face went red at the sappy way that Soonyoung had said it, so genuine and endeared to his beloved friend. All Soonyoung could do was laugh, and Jihoon pouted. “Don’t say it like that,” he said, a hand curling around the crystal that hung around his neck. “She shouldn’t like me. I tried to stop this—”

“You had to try and stop this,” Joshua piped up. “Everyone else kind of had to try. Except Mingyu, but Mingyu… Mingyu does whatever he wants.” 

“That pendant’s actually from him,” Jihoon said, a tiny smirk on his face. “So technically—”

Soonyoung let out a groan, “Don’t say it!”

Joshua merely chuckled at the two, before his gaze met yours again. “All of this was going to happen one way or another. The bandits would come to your town. You would escape, but not get far before one found you… and then he would kill you. Soonyoung had stepped in before your life was cut even shorter.” He sat down on that chaise, draping an arm over the back of it. “And thankfully he never drank what I’d given him when all of this began.”

“I said I wouldn’t!”

Joshua laughed again, so light and airy. Suddenly, you understood why there were so many poems dedicated to him. “So now you’re… well…”

“One of us.”

Another man had entered, far more imposing than the others. Yet he had this soft look in his eyes when he saw you, especially when he saw the way Soonyoung stood so protectively close over you. No one could blame him—not after he watched your life nearly slip through his fingers. He made his way over to Joshua, standing rigid beside his chaise. 

Soonyoung stared at him, brows drawing together. “What?”

“Potentially,” Seungcheol corrected himself. “It’s not in my hands. But whatever Joshua mixed up changed her entirely.” He stepped forward, closer to you, and gave you a proper once-over. You could feel what he meant, though: something about you felt… stronger. Warmer. More powerful, but in a vague sense, as thought your body was still a pile of clay to be molded. “And if she’s chosen… She’ll be one of us properly. Either sharing a domain with another, or taking it over entirely. It depends on what the upper powers want.”

You furrowed your brows and looked to Soonyoung for some sort of guidance. “Upper powers…?”

“Higher gods,” Joshua said. “While we’re all pretty powerful on our own, there’s bigger guys out there. One of them made the entire world as we know it. Think of it like this: Jeonghan’s the God of Creation, but he’s only a lesser one of it… and he’s more in charge of creation in a vague, artsy sense. Who knows,” Joshua said, lounging back. “Maybe you’ll be like that if you’re chosen.”

“And if she’s not?” Soonyoung said quietly. “They can’t get rid of her… Can they?”

Seungcheol exchanged a worried look to Joshua. “I’ll be speaking on your behalf today,” he said to Soonyoung. “I trust her. Anyone you’re willing to sacrifice everything for must be special.” 

You’d hidden a smile at that, and seen the way Soonyoung’s cheeks flushed. Before anyone could embarrass him further, he decided you needed to meet the others. That included Wonwoo, who greeted you warmly and apologized to you almost immediately. He had accepted it, though, that fate had dictated he try to stop Soonyoung. He introduced you to Hansol shortly after, who outright gagged as Soonyoung came into his domain with you, hand-in-hand. He’d apologized for both that and for his own hand in trying to stop Soonyoung from loving you.

“It’ll stop,” he said after a moment. “Godly love smells different. You still… smell like a mortal’s love.” 

Whatever he was smelling, you couldn’t smell it. “Sorry—”

“Don’t be. You’re great,” he said. “Just—no one can smell it. Just me and, uh, other people like me. I’m in my own personal prison.” 

It made you laugh a little, and Hansol chuckled, too. He merely told you to keep Soonyoung in check, earning a groan from him. He wasn’t that immature. Love just made him do something a little crazy. Where was the problem in that?

The others were warm to you, too, even if they all apologized for their hands in this plot (save for Mingyu, who boasted that he always had faith in Soonyoung the entire time). While they all had beautiful domains in their own right, you stayed alongside Soonyoung in his own. There was nowhere else you’d rather be after all. He gave you space to mourn your beloved down and the others that fell alongside you. The two of you saw that your body had been found and buried by your friends and loved one, and Soonyoung accompanied you to your grave with a spell cast over both of you to keep you invisible. 

He left the little wooden tiger at your grave to watch over it. He didn’t need it anymore: he had you now.

The two of you only fell deeper in love with each passing day. He let go of the mortal exterior he’d taken to speak to you before, letting himself be fully genuine around you. He was still bright, warm, loving Soonyoung when he was with you, but you realized that he was a little quieter. Less so when he was around the others (especially Seungkwan, who Soonyoung took delight in occasionally teasing), but his love was gentler than it had been before. It came in the forms of gentle kisses and checking on you, in making sure that you were happy and well alongside him, and in taking care of you. You were able to see firsthand how hard he worked, and the way he cared for the sun. Yet you saw him love you more with each day. He stole kisses from you whenever he could, and impressed you with his strength. Jihoon had told you not to fall for it: he was a complete doofus when you really got to know him.

(You merely told Jihoon that you already knew that: that doofus was who you fell in love with.)

Your title was bestowed upon you in a great hall when you were called before a higher council of gods. You didn’t know the other faces in that hall as well as the others did, but you felt secure. Seungcheol had held one of your hands in his, representing his specific group with a stony face and an iron will. Soonyoung held your other hand, supporting you as your partner in everything from now on. He’d admitted to you he was terrified that they would take you away from him. They had the power to do so, after all.

The higher council spoke all at once with this tinny sound to their voices, all melding into something that felt as though it could crush your skull with its power. Maybe if you were a mortal, it would have. They said your name, and went onto a long spiel about what made a god worthy of their titles.

And then you were deemed the Goddess of Youth, after you had had yours ripped away. The lesser Guardian of the Sun, to stand beside your lover evermore. And a Protector of Fate, which you had defied, although not alone.

Soonyoung almost sobbed when he heard it among the cheers. You were his. You would always be his. He would always be yours. He lifted you up, kissing you proudly in front of everyone. The two of you were safe now, and he hugged Seungcheol tight, thanking him a thousand times for whatever he must have said to help this decision come to. Seungcheol swore that he did nothing: that it was Soonyoung’s love for you that did most of the work. He merely accepted the knowledge that would be given to you, all wrapped into a tome. Although you wouldn’t be considered one of his to be in charge of (at least, not quite yet—decisions were yet to be finalized), Seungcheol would be the one in charge of guiding you as you learned your place.

Soonyoung took you back to his domain—yours now, too—and kissed you again. He lifted you into his arms, always happy to show off his strength in full now (you always teased that you knew something had to be up—no mortal man could carry all he did without breaking a sweat), and carried you forward. He laid you onto his chaise, kissing you as you guided him back with you.

“I love you,” he whispered against your lips. He came into your life pretending to be a mortal man because you had bewitched him heart and soul, turning him into nothing but a man with a single night. You were his soulmate, and he was yours, even in godhood now. 

The world would change in time, and eventually begin to tell tales of the God of Sun and his lover who appeared within the sunbeams that broke through trees in forests. The warm figure who walked alongside the protector of the forests to guide children home, before disappearing with a distant wave, always a story that young people spoke of fondly. Some stories said that in a clearing within a forest, the God of Sun could be seen, lounging with his lover as though they had no cares in the world (the two of you had escaped to the mortal world one day, just to enjoy the sunlight there together, and apparently some travelers had seen you). One day, they would carve your body from marble, but never quite get you right. Others had their own ideas for what you would look like, the same as they did with Soonyoung. No one would ever utter your name, but it would live on Soonyoung’s every day. He had you for life now, immortality to keep the two of you together.

But in your arms? Soonyoung was nothing but a man who had devoted himself to you with everything that he had. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

#wooahaes.fic #seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #seventeen imagine #svt x reader #svt x you #seventeen imagines #seventeen angst #svt imagine #svt angst #hoshi x you #hoshi x reader #kwon soonyoung x you #kwon soonyoung x reader #hoshi angst #hoshi fluff #kwon soonyoung fluff #kwon soonyoung angst

[ludwigplayingthetrombone]

Hello! Firstly I wanted to say that I'm an old fan since your overwatch days and I've always admired how much depth you're giving all the characters and relationships you touch! I'm talking like, mariana trench DEPTHS. And how confident you seem about just doing the things you enjoy and exploring the themes you want? I really respect that.

I'm having a bit of an art crisis recently and I was wondering If you could offer some advice?

I'm thinking about self-indulgence in art, particularly fanart. I like to dive in deep to expand on characters, I find it as enjoyable as creating my own work. But I fear of people getting angry at me for latching onto these characters, thay they'll say the original work wasn't THAT deep, or that I'm completely wrong or cringe or whatever. And I don't care about being right or anything, I just want to have fun here and tell my little stories? :( The fear is making me keep the work to myself and I don't know what to do. Would it be better to just enjoy it on my own?

Your blog really is goals when it comes to that, so I'll respect your opinion a lot. Thank you for your time!

holy moly thank you so much for your sincerity first of all!! Second, this is making me misty eyed ngl!! I have alot to say about this so i shall put it under a read more bc im gonna ramble

If someone cares about you fixating on your fave characters, then they're usually the fucking weirdos in this situation if they dont just block you and move on. I LOVE making shit up about my faves like i have a modern au hc that kakashi and gai are ddr competition rivals and i gave yeehan 7 dogs just for funsies!! we were in the trenches in early overwatch making up our own lore bc there was none and it was so fun

I've always been like that now that i look back bc when i first started uploading my shitty ms paint fanart on deviant art in like 2006(naruto funnily enough we've come full circle) i was still drawing cringey shit /I/ wanted to see. I don't agree with almost all of it today, but i remember the fun i had while making it, and that's really the trick. Drawing what you personally want to see then people can come and go audience wise. If they like it, they like it, if they dont? oh well! There's people who still follow me from when i was 14 and i follow them even tho we're in completely different spaces now.

The fanart part i vibe with personally bc im really bad at coming up with totally original work and premises. i much prefer having pre-established rules and worlds to work with (plus the characters i love getting massacred in the writing i HAVE to save them)

Just existing online will garner you mean comments or asks, and my best advice is its not worth it to take the bait even if its absolutely absurd and wrong, i just block and go now, and im much happier :) this all being, of course, as long as what you're doing isnt harmful, bc even with good intentions, you'll mess up/blunder eventually. If the heat gets too much for you, no one will judge you for withdrawing your art from social media. thats a perfectly safe thing to do to keep it for yourself.

As an adult, shits not that serious im 28 drawing naruto fanart bc it makes me happy after a long day of work, so have fun!! art's supposed to be fun don't let the fear win i love sharing my art with strangers on the internet!! Hope this made any sense at all and I wish you the best, my friend!!! If you ever wanna dm me, feel free

#asks #happy tag #if we survived early overwatch fans we can survive anything

[cheesus-doodles]

Hello again! How are you? I'm the anonymous person who previously asked about the "boss". When reading your response about her personality in the "red dragonflies au", I realized it was me who had asked the same question back in 2022, recognized by the heart character I usually use haha, I didn't even remember that.

To be more recognizable, I'll use a more specific emoji this time.

This isn't a writing request, but I'd like to know about your creative process when writing. Usually, I focus more on my ideas after having a cup of coffee and meditating with white noise. My mind organizes better, and I avoid making too many mistakes.

I can say that your profile is one of my havens in the tokyo revengers community. Your writing and character inspired me to pick up an old project I started weeks after reading a few chapters of the manga, back when my only concerns were school exams, haha.

— 🥀.

was thinking between posting this now and next week, but I suppose it doesn't quite make a difference! will be back working on some longer fics but i'll make sure there's no drought next week

Masterlist

‎‎‎

Hello again 🥀 anon! well I have to say its great to see you around, and to have a recognisable emoji! :D I'm super thankful that you decided to stick around here all this time, best of luck with that project (and if you don't mind, I would love to see it whenever you're done!)

Ahh I do kinda miss school a little - the transition to work life is still pretty jarring ngl ;-; I still hate it time to time but what can we do amrite HAHAHAHA

‎

In terms of my creative process, I had a think about it because I was originally going to say that I didn't have any fixed process, but then I realised that the one constant time that I would get some writing done would be usually late nights/early mornings right before bed time. Mostly because I work full time and there are chores and stuff to do around the house after work, but also because I've always been a night owl and I find writing a good way to burn off whatever energy I have left before bedtime. Plus usually I get a bit more loose and fluid when I'm tired (its pretty strange ngl - the logic is just too strong for yanderes to make sense when I'm fully awake).

I also love to watch/listen to news updates/documentaries/financial stuff while I write? Or if I'm overstimulated I listen to music! I did try watching some cafe asmr while writing previously but I get too distracted watching the video to write so that didn't work out HAHAHAHA

But writing when I'm tired generally has an adverse effect on the sentence structure/grammar/generally story flow, so I will use my awake brain to string together what my tired brain wrote the previous night. From time to time at least, other times I'm just too impatient and just fuck it and post it.

‎‎

Inspiration also tends to hit me here and there, so I will occasionally write down ideas and sentences at work if I have free time, or while I'm out and about on weekends - just pop open Tumblr/Google Docs and jot it down before I forget! Might be that I was mulling over the prompt/idea and I see/hear/think something that hits just right!

Yea but that's how I usually go about it! As chaotic as it sounds ngl, but it works I suppose :))

Would love to hear more about your idea flow/creative process if you would like to share! Like where you get your ideas and inspiration, character personalities, or anything else you want to talk about :)

#🥀 anon #tokyo revengers #yandere tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #yandere tokyo revengers x reader #cheesus rambles #mikey x reader #baji x reader #mitsuya x reader #kazutora x reader #pah chin x reader #mitsuya takashi #draken x reader #kazutora #sano manjiro #keisuke baji #draken #kokonoi hajime #kokonoi x reader #shinichiro #inupi seishu #shion madarame

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Oooh request are open!

stanley and narrator with a reader who

dosent have a face its like glitches maybe y'know they were supposed to be part of the game but got then scratched but already made there design and narrator doesn't remember them or perhaps they were supposed to be stanley?

So let's say the game's original plan was to have a customizable character instead of Stanley.

But then it would've just been called "The Parable" and Narrator felt like there wasn't enough flourish to it, so the whole concept was scrapped and forgotten about.

Except..a developer already brought you into existence, unfinished and unerasable from the game's code, somehow evading his sight until TSP's events began.

Since one customization feature was meant for the face, you didn't have one. No eyes, ears, nose, or mouth. Just a mess of glitchy particles. And your clothes and hair were all gray.

It's within Narrator's Expo that they both discover you tinkering with the broken trophy machine.

He's so confused and freaking out but then quickly makes up a lie that you're just another feature of TSP2 he was still working on, thinking the fans would want a "multiplayer option".

You see Stanley and try talking to him but your dialogue box is blank bc you never got any lines (you can still make sounda but can't actually speak).

Though this doesn't bother you as Narrator lets you go on adventures with him.

Unlike Stanley you're capable of doing a lot more as the "beta protagonist", like jumping and sprinting, being able to access places he can't.

Ngl he's kinda jealous and Narrator gets huffy when he senses this.

"You had the Jump Circle but you decided to waste all your jumps like a fool! Don't come crying to me."

You can hear Narrator too and just chuckle.

He can say whatever he wanted, you're just happy to be with Stanley.

#clanask #anonymous #the stanley parable x reader #stanley parable x reader #tsp x reader #headcanons

[seriousbrat]

What’s so crazy is that not only did they say that we needed to have a discussion, but they intentionally tagged it so that people they know would disagree would see it. Like, what were you expecting? It seems like they just wanted an echo chamber that would agree with them. Saying you think there needs to be a discussion and then hiding replies/reblogs and blocking people who give any pushback is just… a little pathetic, NGL. It tells me that they don’t actually believe their argument and they know it’s flimsy, but they felt defensive because the original criticism was forcing them to confront some uncomfortable things about themself internally.

And the argument: “well, it’s not real!” Sure, but in order for that point to hold any weight, you have to demonstrate a clear awareness and understanding of the motives behind the content you create and the possibility of it being influenced by deep rooted or internalized issues/biases. We don’t live in a vacuum and it’s impossible for anyone to create content that isn’t in some way influenced by unconscious biases or things we’ve internalized from being socialized in a prejudiced society. But if you refuse to acknowledge the problem to begin with or become defensive at its mention, then how am I supposed to believe that you’re not challenging those issues in your daily life? I don’t police the content people make and I don’t automatically assume that creating content about controversial subject matter is the same thing as endorsing it. But again, becoming defensive and showing a lack of understanding when a discussion on said subject matter is being had, kiiiinda discredits you from being able to use the “it’s not real” excuse.

Btw, I don’t think you were rude. They were being purposefully inflammatory by posting it in the jily tag and condescendingly saying “you guys need to think about this”. I’m not sure why they were surprised by pushback, lol.

Well said, I don't think I can really add anything to this! Agreed they definitely don't believe what they're saying deep down and just feel uncomfortable about being forced to confront their behaviour. It's beyond painfully obvious that they didn't want discussion at all, they just wanted people to validate their Moral Righteousness about shipping sexy men together. Lmao. Did they really tag it and then say that jily fans needed to think about it? Ajfjgkkgbg that is wild

The "it's not real" was also wild considering that they were the one that compared people to neonazis for talking about fictional characters

#also thx for saying i wasn't rude haha! i try not to be but it was an unusually infuriating post lol #it is totally pathetic and dishonest tho #like deliberately impeding your followers from seeing any opposing viewpoints. yeah u rly care about discussion

[kittick-art]

Wahoo, time for another Animatic Deep Dive!

I did this on twitter after my jeanmarco animatic came out last year, and I wanted to do something similar for the Royai animatic! This post will include HD stills from the animatic, as well as some nerdy insight into some shot choices and such, bc I need an outlet to geek out about it. Everything is under the ‘keep reading’ break! :]

Ok to start off, I wanted to show some behind-the-scenes stuff, including my first thumbnails I drew in my sketchbook, as well as part of the shot sheet that kept me organized (and sane) throughout the animatic.

Also, fun fact is that I'm primarily a 3D animator, so I used that knowledge to sculpt a rough version of Mustang's office for the final shot :]

Ok so now for actual stills...starting with one of my FAVORITE sequences to draw, which I have dubbed 'the scrolling bit.'

And a fun little composition tidbit about this sequence is that I tried to show the passage of time through Roy & Riza's placement in the shots. So in order, they progressively go from the right of the screen to the left. It was actually a really last-minute decision, bc originally I had two different shots (see below) which got scrapped in order to do that silly compositional thing. I think it was a worthy sacrifice because that drawing of Black Hayate on Mustang's head was just so fun to draw.

OKAY, now I want to move onto my favorite part of any animatic, which is the pretentious stuff about 'character placement' and "the deeper meaning." Blah blah, all that art-school kind of stuff that you'd hear in some film analysis class.

It's not intentional whatsoever, but I realized after the animatic was finished that Hawkeye is almost always on Mustang's righthand side, other than a select few times when he's the one supporting her. Feel free to look into that if you'd like, but just know it was not intentional and isn't consistent 100% of the time.

What was intentional, however, were these 4 shots, and specifically the placement of Mustang & Hawkeye within them:

These 2 sequences are meant to be direct parallels to each other, in everything including how Mustang turns to Hawkeye, and Hawkeye is already facing him. They were also my favorite shots to animate, especially with Riza coming out of her salute. Seeing them in the final animatic almost made me tear up, ngl. They're just so dang in love!

Finally, the last part that holds some artsy deeper meaning is a sequence I actually shared a long long time ago. I've dubbed it the 'spotlight section' bc idk how else to describe it.

Back when I teased this sequence, I alluded to some "deeper meaning" behind the use of red in the tags. And while the use of red is a pivotal thing throughout the entire animatic, it's most important here. It starts on Hawkeye's back, then transfers to Mustang's glove, and finally goes back to Hawkeye as her blood. Basically what I was trying to get at was something about consequences, and where flame alchemy has led them. In some way or another, Riza's decision to show Roy her tattoo ended up leading to her own (near) demise. So the red was supposed to show that transfer of consequence, if that makes sense.

ANYWAYS. Enough of me rambling. Thank you for reading if you somehow made it this far. All the love on this animatic - even since I first started teasing it back in November - has been insane to me. I still feel like I can't wrap my head around it. I'll leave you all with one last sketch from when I first started making the animatic. Have a good night, everyone!

#WOO THIS IS A LONG POST #basically just me rambling about my own work #and some exclusive behind the scenes stuff ;) #props to you if you make it all the way through #royai #animatic deep dive

[alwida10]

Apologies if you've already answered it. I've been reading your metas today and linked posts and ngl I really love them and I feel like we're in full agreement with everything.

With season 2 of Loki merely 6 weeks away (idk, are you going to watch it? I think I will, regardless of my current feelings about it) what are your thoughts about the upcoming season? What do you expect we'll get in it? Do you have any hopes for it, or do you think it will be more of the same. The current promo does not give me a good feeling tbh. Also do you think Hiddleston could leave the mcu at the end of season 2? Or at least if this could be the last time we see TVA Loki. Sorry for lenghty ask 🙈 my season 2 anxiety is off the charts, I expect it will be more of the same with Sylvie leading the story and Loki following her and I'd love to hear your thoughts about s2

Awww, thank you!!! Season 1 was something I felt so deeply for! All my hopes and dreams were focused on it. And then it shattered me in a way I didn’t know was possible. Now, I see that it took me a full year to cope and decode what I was feeling. The metas I wrote during this time (including the survey) are more like an open diary of how I processed the show and stabilized my mental health. It means a lot to me that now those thoughts may help others, too. 💚

I’ll put the answers under a cut, because there are some triggers included.

what are your thoughts about the upcoming season? What do you expect we'll get in it?

Frankly, I expect the season to focus mainly on Sylvie and her character development. If I put my criticisms aside and try to see what the creators wanted to do with the series, it looks to me like their only goal for Larry was to morph him from a villain to a hero in a way that would be undeniable for the general audience. This was achieved by him watching the video and finally finding someone he cares for. So his arc was completed in season 1. His role now is probably to serve as a guide for her, and maybe to discover that his true power is only achievable through or with her. I don’t count this as “his” arc especially, but more the core of the general admiration Sylvie is supposed to get from everyone in-universe. It’s a part of being a Mary sue. As is excelling at everything, even stuff that is opposite to your characteristics and you have no former knowledge on that would make it seem believable you’d excel. Like this, you know?

I‘m quite certain of this because Eric Martin is a huge fan of Sylvie and the ship. If you want to confirm I suggest looking at his Twitter. His tweets imply he intends to stay true to Waldron‘s and Harron‘s original ideas. This was confirmed by some people working on the set of season 2. I made the effort to find the original post, and it turned out that two people contributed to the post I experienced as thoughtful and reliable on Reddit. I personally believe those leaks.

Do you have any hopes for it, or do you think it will be more of the same. The current promo does not give me a good feeling tbh.

I think it will be more of the same. Sorry, I wish I could tell you something more to your taste. I absolutely share this feeling, and so do others.

Also do you think Hiddleston could leave the mcu at the end of season 2?

This article claims that Tom was supposed to leave the MCU at the end of season 1. Allegedly, season 1 was supposed to have 12 episodes and only was cut short because of Corona. This would mean that the original end of season 1 would be now the end of season 2. Does this mean he will leave? I can’t say. Disney‘s stock is progressively decreasing. Social media opinions on the MCU seem to grow more and more negative and depreciating. Perhaps Iger and Feige feel like Tom is one of the last strong pillars and try to keep him. At this point, I wouldn’t put it past them to try to keep the MCU afloat with Tom’s personal fandom. I don’t think that will work since Google stats show that his popularity decreased after season 1 to a point where it is now below the level it was after endgame. But they might attempt it.

Or at least if this could be the last time we see TVA Loki.

Even if he leaves I assume cameos are always a possibility, especially now that the studios are utilizing AI. But Loki? I‘m heartbroken, but I am very sure we have seen the last of him in TDW (and Ao3). May his reign bring him all the joy he deserves.

So last but not least:

idk, are you going to watch it?

I honestly don’t know. I certainly won’t pay for it. The last time I always watched the episodes was the day they came out so I could write my thoughts down here. But ngl, I’m tired of the fighting, the anon hate, and the feeling that opinions online are getting more important than the love for Loki. Right now, I’m trying to focus more on my fanfics than on the canon. Season 1 made me unable to continue my fics for almost a year. I don’t want to repeat that with season 2.

I still think that the show has done great harm to the fandom, to (some) people with poor mental health who needed Loki as a focus point, (some) gender-fluid or non-binary people who got exposed to sexism because of it, and possibly Tom‘s reputation (based on the google trends Infos). But for season 2 we know what to expect. We know it’s not Loki but Larry who will appear. And in this case, I think it might be best to leave the season to those it was made for, so they can enjoy it and keep as far away from it as possible.

If you want to watch it and still want to give Disney some negative feedback, I recommend watching every episode more than 7 days after it aired. Afaik Disney only counts views in the first week as real interest. Alternatively, 🏴‍☠️.

#mcu loki #loki series negativity #loki series criticism #loki series critical #anon asks #loki season 2 predictions #anti sylv!e #ok I should be more precise #I’m not blaming a fictional character for anything happening #Sylvie can’t *help* being what she is and I wouldn’t demand her to change #I blame the writers for writing her in an imo annoying way #and the season 2 promo is hitting all the points I dislike #she’s royalty-McDonald’s is the opposite of that #if it was Burger King… #no just kidding #any fast food would be unfit #and why would she chose earth of all the realms??? #someone who feels alone and starved for connection wouldn’t settle somewhere where all her new friends would DIE of old age after a week #someone who lost their home would want to go back there and rediscover it #she would look for her mum for the valkyries for anything that would be HER #honestly the only way i’d believe this McDonalds stuff is when she used her mind tricks to get all those stars #because fast food serving? I heard so much complains about it #don’t tell me short-tempered Sylvie puts up with repitive tasks in a disrespectful environment #had she chosen to become a professional bear hunter or firefighter … sure #but McDonald’s? nope

[kyyuri]

trial and error - nishimura riki

TMI with yuri !

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ synopsis : after breaking up with his ex, niki was going through everything a normal heart broken teenager would go through… except a certain someone keeps catching his eye~ will y/n be able to help niki get over his ex despite the efforts of his ex ?

a/n: and it has officially officially ended ! thank you for reading trial and error ! hope this chapter didn’t disappoint but if you have any more questions that weren’t answered here, feel free to comment or send an ask ~ tap here to read encore !

word count : 1.5k

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ how it started

being very real rn, as mentioned before this entire smau was based on ONE chapter itself ( the perilla leaves chapter). the original plot of trial and error was supposed to be for niki to unconsciously cheat on hyerin emotionally but this would result in the smau being more than 40 chapters long and i didnt intend to drag this smau out for too long. i wanted the smaus plot length to be just right so the readers wont get sick of it <3

*ੈ✩‧₊�� haenas sudden appearance

it mustve been surprising for a character to suddenly be added towards the end but yet still play such a big role in moving the story forward. if you read closely, you would realise that niki was supposed to be the one that catches hyerin defaming yn. the reason for haenas existence was simply because 1. i realised yn didnt have any friends in the smau that was a girl and #girlpower 2. at the start of the smau, sunghoons fangirls were mentioned so i wanted to show how fans would always be willing to help out their role models/ people they look up to. 3. i didnt want to make it a thing whereby hyerin is only painted as the bad guy (by nikis group) simply because they broke up, i think thats wayyy too petty, so i had to give yall a reason to see that hyerin isnt just hated because of a petty reason but rather because she doesn’t react well to anything and that theres only that many people she could fool. (she be lacking critical thinking me think )

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ haehoon

ngl, it was never that serious. originally, haena’s love for sunghoon was never supposed to surpass fangirl level ( kind of to show our para social relationship with our favourite idols) but since there are people who are #teamhaehoon, i shall drop some unplanned scenes of haehoon that never made it to the series !

haena and sunghoon’s dynamics remained that way ( as seen in the spinoff ) however, sunghoon did end up asking haena out once the year ended ! their dynamics still stayed the same ( crack level ) except they are dating ! they never ended up breaking up because who would want to lose someone like haena right ?

sunghoon even managed to get into the same university as haena after haena forced him into revising with her on almost every single one of their dates ( he hates the last hour of their dates since haena would always test him to see if he did revise ) but i guess the fruits of their labour did show !

thanks to sunghoon and niki, haena was able to get close to yn and they are now besties ~

if you think about it , haehoon would definitely be a case where she fell first and he fell harder ! she definitely started liking him first for his personality (we love loud introvert hoonhoon ) but once sunghoon noticed her, he can never go a day without interacting with her once ( this includes staring from a distance ). it took him a lot of convincing and screaming into his pillow to gather enough courage to ask haena out. once they started dating, his simp era started too.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ how ynki started

the smau started with niki just getting out of a relationship with hyerin a few days prior, so how did he move on so quickly to yn ? the answer is curiosity. as mentioned previously, yn looks slightly similar to hyerin which was what caught nikis attention initially. when he found out that yn was his classmate it deepens his curiosity as one would wonder why they never noticed someone who looks similar to their significant other. moving on, yn originally never had feelings for niki. she only interacted with him because it was fun to tease him but well that definitely led to something.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ ot7

the whole friend group concept is basically built like this :

yn + sunwon

jaywon

hyung line + maknae

so if you add them together, ot7 happened ! ot7 were mainly acting as nikis wingman tho 💀💀💀

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ ynsunwon

how did they meet ? jungwon was the reason why this trio exists ! jungwon was friends with yn then met sunoo shortly after, forming our three main slayers. in chapter 22, it was mentioned that the friendship between ynwon blossomed because of the classes he had to miss due to competitions and yn helping him out ! naturally, since yn is jungwons friend and so is sunoo, the two became very good friends as well !

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ did won have feelings for yn

the answer is no. their friendship was purely platonic with no feelings involved ( although sometimes their actions might make it seem otherwise) jungwon just really cares about yn, thats all

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ amusement park (ch 9)

there was so many details missing right ? well i did it on purpose el o el. wondering what happened ? everything cliché happened. they held onto each other for their dear lives on every ride and bought matching headbands as souvenirs ( niki paid ) , yn was feeling too good because of all the hyerin texts and niki ddi realise ( he just didnt know the reason ) hence he bought yn an ice cream and a drink but when yn couldnt finish the strawberry ice cream, it landed in his hands ( look at one of the posts from that chap ! )

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ wrinkley ( rinki)

we were all mad niki let her back into his life lets be real. but the method hyerin used is actually a method that could be used irl ! if you ask someone that doesn’t like you for a favour, it is very likely ( not 100%) they will change their mind about you and dislike you less ! this was the method i was trying to show by having hyerin borrow nikis art set ~

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ broken up

rinkis back story ? you got it. these were supposed to be included but it would make the smau wayyyy to long and boring so it is appearing here ! hyerin and niki got together after meeting each other in art academy then realising the year after that they were going to be classmates (yes yn was there </3) ! hyerin was the one that confessed and was also the one who broke up with niki, simply because theres this theory where a relationship (boy girl rs ) would rarely work out if the female likes the male more. as seen in the smau, niki can be really caring but also really moody at times and hyerin isnt the type that can stand attention not being on them, hence the end of their relationship. hyerin regretted it shortly after because after breaking up with niki, she got even lesser attention than before !! hyerin never officially became friends with ot7 unlike yn ( thats why #standforyn ) anyways, hyerin was pretty salty that yn got the attention she craved for and tried so hard to earn so thats where everything spiralled.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ nikis letter (chap 18)

“ yn, my love !

its niki ! im writing down all the things i wish to say to you but cant get the proper words out without being a blushy mess. im not sure what happened and truthfully, i dont have to know, all i need to know is how you feel and how to cheer you up so i can always support you when youre feeling down. after doing some digging and sacrificing my wallet to jungwon hyung, i was given the secret weapon to making you smile again ! im no cook but i did try my absolute best making these dishes ~ ill admit i didnt actually make the cake from scratch BUT i did decorate it !! im so glad my mum birthed me with skills hehe <3 i heard you like handwritten letters so here is one specially from the one and only riki !

yn, youre never alone. please never struggle alone. your friends, me , my hyungs, we are all here for you. please dont shut us out. ever since you entered my life, i dont think i can go a day without you :( i genuinely like you so much i think i might just go crazy. i will work hard to become someone reliable so that whenever you’re tired, you can always take a rest and lean on me. lets get along well and spend the rest of our lives happy ~ when you’re ready to let me into your world, i will always be ready to join you on your journey and help you walk a flowery path ! take your time to heal but dont forget about me !

i love you yn ! you heard it from me first !

riki ”

that’s about all i can think of for now, thank you for reading trial and error ! dont forget to check out the spinoffs and my next smau encore ! if you love my works so far, do consider joining my permanent masterlist ! - yuri

<prev > <masterlist > <special > <encore ! >

taglist ! @soobin-chois @aksemy @ja4hyvn @enhacolor @abdiitcryy @ahnneyong @ineedaherosavemeenow @meiiiwa @softiegukk @yuhjoeyuh @cookiehaos @sd211 @yenqa @kittyeij @l1lac-dreamer @kim-liv @luva1y @viagumi @luvkait @tr-wemoon @annoyingbitch83 @pw00kkat @jayujus @tya0 @ihoonbrry @sunoosunshxne @j-wyoung @luvhooniez @yangkie @ixomiyu @stepout-09-15 @homelycat @curly-fr13s @beatr2x @s0ye0nswife @littlewolfieposts @herefornamu @llllllllama @totoroblop @loveliii @mafukissu @whippedforbeomgyu @bikpop @pkjay @lcv3lies @txtbrainrot @yvrikoo @officiallyjaehyuns @xtra-cheese @bnnyniky @jungwonsgfnameyukie @xiaoderrrr

#enhypen jungwon #enhypen angst #enhypen heeseung #enhypen niki #enhypen sunoo #enhypen sunghoon #enhypen jay #enhypen #enhypen fluff #enhypen jake #enhypen smau #enha jungwon #enha angst #enha #enha smau #enha jay #enha sunghoon #enha sunoo #enha fluff #enha jake #enha heeseung #enha niki #yang jungwon #lee heeseung #jake sim #park sunghoon #kim sunoo #nishimura riki #niki angst #niki fluff

[ultraviolet-ink]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

I was tagged by @aawrightworth, thank you so much for this!! <3

How many works do you have on Ao3? 117, but I have four more on the roster due to @aaholidayrare!

What's your total A03 word count? 427,315 (OH WOW???)

What fandoms do you write for? Ace Attorney/Great Ace Attorney!

What are your top five fics by kudos? 1) Once Upon a Christmas (2019)- NRMT first kiss prompt 2) 12:26 AM (2019)- Forbidden Hospital Scene 3) The Talk (2020)- Greg notices that Baby Miles has a crush 4) Oh Shirt! (2019)- Phoenix can't find his shirt at Miles' place 5) Litigation in the Streets... (2021)- Miles and Phoenix become the subjects of tabloid gossip NGL, I'm not surprised that my top rated fics are NRMT, they're oldies but goodies! I've definitely grown as a writer (not to mention grown UP since these were all written when I was 18-20), but it really is lovely to see that they're still getting love! <3

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? OMGOMGOMGOMG!! Yes!! I love doing it because it lets the commenter know that I've seen their comment, and that I really do appreciate them! No matter how old a fic is, I will comment back as soon as I get that email, haha! In all seriousness, it's my way of giving back a kudos, a sort of "kudos to the reader" if that makes sense. They really do make me smile and I like to print out some of the comments that made me cry happy tears and save them in a scrapbook so that I can read them when writer's block hits me. Also, commenting brought my some of my greatest friends <3

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Ohhh DEFINITELY I Dreamed A Dream (2022)!! Not only is the title from the Les Mis song of the same name (where Fantine's life is just absolutely ruined), but I did the one thing I never thought I would be able to do... I KILLED one half of the otp!! It's a RyuuSusa fic, and of course, Major Character Death, proceed with caution!

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Oooohhh this is a really hard one since I'm such a sucker for happy endings! I think the one that makes me the happiest now is from The Caterpillar Man (2022). It's a fic I wrote to sort of conceptualize Yujin and Susato's relationship when the former came home from the original study trip, and it takes place over a year and among other tragedies and growth. It's from the perspective of Susato, and I think it's one that still makes me tear up (and I got fanart based on it once!!)

Do you get hate on fics? I've never been John Phoenix'd which is very rude, am I not GOOD enough for you DaKoolGuy?? but in all seriousness, I don't really get hate on specific fics, but because I'm so vocal about a certain pairing (being Ryuu X Susato.... if I'm not supposed to ship, why game make so cute?)

Do you write smut? Not on Ultraviolet_Ink, but I do on Infrared_Quill! Fun fact, Infrared got put on a blacklist when I only had one work, and Ultraviolet wasn't on it, I found it quite funny XD

Do you write crossovers? The Journal of Dr. Yujin Mikotoba (2022-????) is just one giant crossover with ACD canon, and I'm planning on having Raffles and Arsène Lupin making an important appearance in the future! It's very self indulgent XD

Have you ever had a fic stolen? God I hope not

Have you ever had a fic translated? Not to my knowledge, but I do have a blanket statement saying that I am a-okay with a translation of any of my works!

Have you ever co-written a fic before? It's always been in the "omg we should totally do this" phase, but given how I am with my own works, I feel like I would be a nightmare to work with XD

What's your all-time favourite ship? Honestly... It's between HomuMiko and RyuuSusa, especially since that's just what I've been writing recently XD

What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? That's a good question that I don't have a single answer for XD I have a notepad full of a WIP list, but I think one that intrigued me when I first started off was this sort of continuation of the JFA 2-4 bad ending, just kind of coming from the ashes and then De Killer eventually kills Phoenix for betraying Matt Engarde (just because of the principle). It's really interesting to think about, but I honestly don't know how I could workshop it, and I remember stopping because It made me too sad haha! If you come across this and like the idea, please feel free to adopt this bunny, no credit needed! I'm not the first person who came up with a continuation of Miracle Never Happen, and I'm sure I won't be the last!

What are your writing strengths? I think I'm getting a lot better at dialogue, especially since I have a very good friend who helps me workshop them through a sort of RP! I would say that I'm also good at making a sort of vibe/ambiance, I know how to dress a scene B-) (Yes I was a theatre kid)

What are your writing weaknesses? Dialogue is also something I struggle a lot with, but I would say I get into my own head too much, and I over think and try to over explain to cover up "holes" (Cracked.Com owes me reparations for this)

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I'm a linguistics nerd, I love writing dialogue in other languages! I even wrote a fic entirely in Latin because I wanted to practice (Miles et Phoenix Romae Sunt (2021)). That being said, you have to use more than Google Translate, I've studied and majored in Spanish, so I'm confident enough in my own skill to write, but I don't really know German despite English being Germanic! So, while I do use Google Translate to get a base understanding, I try to run it by a native speaker, or at the very least, someone who has studied the language, to see if it makes sense haha. Or don't, I'm not your mom, and we're all just doing this for shits and giggles XD

First fandom you wrote for? ...... Oncest Those journals filled with Oncest have been burned since 2014 in the traditional "middle schoolers host a bonfire at the end of the year" that my friends hosted, and they will never see the light of day XD But then again..... how ba-a-a-ad COULD it have been? Tbh, I do regret getting rid of them, not because they were actually lost Great American Novels, but they were something I created and I could look back on and see how I've grown and what I've just stuck with over the years XD

Favourite fic you've ever written? It's honestly a tossup between The Journal of Yujin Mikotoba and The Caterpillar Man! I just love playing around with the empty playground canon left me haha

#ao3 #great ace attorney #ace attorney #the great ace attorney #the great ace attorney chronicles #tgaa #tgaac #dai gyakuten saiban #gyakuten saiban #dgs #phoenix wright ace attorney #pwaa #aa #ask game #fic writing #fanfiction

[hughungrybear]

Me while watching Cherry Magic Thailand Ep. 5:

Just can't imagine how loud Karan's internal screaming was when he realised Big Sis was kicking him out of his own house and making him move to Achi's house 😂

1. What's with GMMTV showing us what perfect boyfriends should look (and act) like? 😅 If I cannot have my own Mhok (from Last Twilight), please give me a Karan 😭😭😭

2. Not Auntie dissing Achi in front of Karan 😂😂😂 Karan would defend his beloved little cinnamon roll to the ends of the earth, y'know? 😆

3. I kennat with Karan's internal off-key singing 😂 Also, what's up with this early morning, pre-office work date? Pai would definitely have a seizure if she knew that her ship is doing all these romantic things without her witnessing it 🤣🤣🤣

4. Under normal circumstances, Karan's wild imagination would turn and scare anyone off. However, the fact that he is so sweet, considerate, and can control most of his delusions to stay in his imagination is his saving grace. I think it's one of the main reasons why Achi has not run for the hills yet 😂😂😂

5. Oh, boy. Jinta has gone the deep ends of his fanboying Min 😂 He is barely doing any work. At this point, Jinta ultimately matches Karan's intensity when it comes to dealing with crushes lol

6. In all my years as an Asian employee, I have not encountered an office with a rule as silly as "no going home before the boss". As soon as the clock hits 5pm, me and my colleagues are out of the office lol Boss can take care of themself (Well, the employer WILL STILL TRY to guilt you into working overtime without pay. It's just up to you if you let them get under your skin 😅).

Also, nice of Rock to unintentionally save Achi from Karan's wild "just married" imagination.

7. Awww. Karan don't be jealous of Rock. He is just a baby 😣😣😣 Just think of Rock as your adopted son. 😅 Also, ngl, that soup with Mama OK! noodles looked good (prolly because I have not eaten any breakfast yet).

8. Aaargh! Nooo, Achi also took Rock to that secret breakfast place. No wonder Karan is dying of jealousy. 🙃

9. No, Min. Jinta is not embrassed to be seen with you. But he will prolly die swooning at the back of your motorbike on the way to Achi's office 😂😂😂

10. I had it with these mind-reading bffs 😂😂😂 Karan's imagination was running wild with all the touching Jinta and Achi were doing whilst having conversation about what is the acceptable amount of "handsy" can Jinta get away with Min 😂😂😂

11. Oh? Rock and Min were in that disbanded crew? I have not looked at that photo from Rock's phone properly.

12. Ah, Rock, that's an immature thing to do. It's only natural to be scared and want a more stable professional life. But you should have talked it out with your friends properly - not just ghost them. At least, Pai has the right idea 😁

13. So, Min and Rock's song is the Mama OK ad (originally sung by KristSingto, OffGun, and BrightWin)??? Lol I know Pai's character is supposed to be aroace, but I have been a SingJan shipper since forever so forgive me if I get a bit excited with how things are going lol

Oh my. Karan finally confessed his feelings to Achi!!! Also, hello there, P'Lookwa (Fourth's mum in MSP and MLC). And in next episode we're going to finally see what made Karan fall for Achi in the first place 😊

#cherry magic thailand #cherry magic thailand ep 5 #karanachi #taynew #tay tawan #new thitipoom #markjunior #jintamin #junior panachai #mark jiruntanin

[arctichotch]

why do you support amber?? genuine question no hate at all, I wasn’t keeping up with the case at all

tbh at first i actually supported johnny. simply because all i knew about the case was the whole shit in the bed stuff and thought damn, that was weird. and i knew him more than amber so my gut reaction i suppose was to believe him.

then i started getting spammed with shit like "he haw johnny depp being funny in court" on tiktok and decided to have looksee at the actual trial happening. at this point i didn't have a clue that there had even been a uk trial. i had never heard of amber's op-ed. didn't know about any of the depp/waldman statements. didn't have a bulls notion as to what was happening. but i was also like why in god's name are we as a society sat back overlaying wii music over a trial about domestic violence? and why is it being so well received, getting millions of views?

i think the first time i actually watched the trial was when johnny was testifying and i was pretty much all cringe like awhh poor guy. and fell for his lawyer's stuff and the internet's take on him.

then i watched rottenborn cx him and was like, damn this ROTTEN-BORN guy is kinda mean to this poor johnny depp who has been abused :((((

then i think there was a weekend break where i looked on tumblr and unbiased reddit threads, away from the propaganda machine. and still i was like, god damn these people are stupid. amber heard is obvs evil (keep in mind, i didn't know any evidence, besides johnny's testimony. so, this was all fueled by stuff i saw in pro-depp media)

then, when i finally started to believe amber was when this psychologist came out and diagnosed her with BPD and histrionic personality disorder (yet again having to say that diagnosis in the 21st century is so fucking weird) and i was like wait... (also the fact she had din dins with him got my feathers ruffled straight away ngl)

so then my thick skull finally opened and i was like maybe... just maybe... before making judgements on this case and this woman i do not know... i should perhaps look at the evidence.

so i did. i checked out someone's (i cant remember who's tbh) fact check list here on tumblr. and they raised enough good points that i couldn't in good faith sit back and do mental gymnastics to try deny or defend depp out of them.

so i took those facts on that list and looked further into it. i read uk transcripts. listened to audio. read up some more on domestic violence. looked to twitter threads that were not obviously biased and further looked into the sources provided by the original tweeters.

and by that point i couldn't sit there and say that johnny depp was not an abuser.

then watching amber's testimony soon after, seeing her nearly have an actual, full-blown breakdown on the stand talking about her rape, made me start to actually post about her being the victim in the equation. i had been hesitant because i didn't want the depp pond scum to tell me to die or something (not that they'd ever do that of course)

(kind of irrelevant, but seeing camille vasquez bully amber so intensely on the stand and then be praised made me sick to my fucking stomach. furthering me in my support of amber.)

then seeing testimony from people who aren't even her friends anymore (and them literally crying while recalling it)

also ms girl dawn hughes. she was so on the ball and so qualified in her field of ipv.

then don't get me started on russian oligarch lover mr. adam waldman

sorry this was so long. it kinda became less me answering and more me reflecting on why and when i turned to supporting amber. soz

#lmao #long post #it's 3am i have so much energy #someone knock me out with a horse tranquiliser or something #i stand with amber heard

[starlightkun]

are you more of a plotter or pantser when you write?

ngl i did have to look this up, and i suppose im a bit of both? like, when i say i have a scene planned out, or that i have x words of planning, or that i have an outline, idk what other writers' planning/outlines look like (aside from the outlines they made us use in elememtary school you know). my word docs for a story always reserve the top part for "planning/outlining" then i have a divider, and under that is where the prose of the story actually starts. when i count word counts of drafts, i only count what's actually written in that second part, from beginning then through the scenes chronologically.

i usually don't start writing a fic until i have not only a solid idea, but also a general concept of the plot (though as my recent posts allude, i tend to have difficulties wrapping it up after the climax). sometimes a scene comes to me first and i have to then build the rest of the au and plot around that scene, but i usually don't start writing what i consider to be in that "prose" section until i have some grasp on the overall fic.

and my "planning/outlining" section usually looks like this:

- x au, a!neo, b!reader, (ft. any important side character)

- if it's majorly involved au like frankenstein complex or strawberry sunday, i'll make a short character list. like in strawbsunday it looked like:

Human!Johnny [roommates w MK]

Fairy!Jungwoo [roommates w TI, DY] ; Vampire!Jaehyun [roommates w TY]

Witch!Doyoung [roommates w TI, JW]

and so on. that one also went in descending height order (members who are officially the same height were next to each other in the list, like jaewoo), bc for a time at the beginning, i was playing with having their height be affected by their species, but that ended up not mattering in the end. i also had so many characters who were roommates bc it was a college au that i needed to be able to remember who lived with who after a while, so that went in the list too.

- then a brief paragraph describing the major story beats

- The Scene that made me get inspired to write it, if there is one, usually all dialogue written in a big block of text like this: "Abcd ef ghijk lmn opqr st uv." YN "Wxy zabcde fg hij klm nopqr st uvw." NEO "Xyz?" YN "Xyz. Abcd, efg hijk lmnopqr. Stuv!" NEO

- more scenes, only dialogue like above

- more scenes, only dialogue like above

so that's how my "planning/outlining" can be 8k+, it's my "sketches" of upcoming scenes that i haven't gotten to yet in the "prose" portion. and while im writing, i'll usually get ideas for upcoming scenes, and add their "sketches" to my planning area at the top. sometimes i don't always know exactly how all the little pieces will fit in, and kind of have to assemble them into a little frankendraft by the end. and sometimes i find that little snippets of dialogue that i thought would be perfect ended up not fitting anywhere, or had to be minorly/majorly modified.

i often go into unexpected places, and find out a lot about my characters while i write! i have my loose outline and im flexible with it if i find that the story is headed in a different direction as i go (like, for example, in changer, i was originally imagining sungchan asking reader out at the end of the valentine's day event at the boba shop and have it be more of a second chances things, but as i wrote it i realized that my werewolf sungchan was too much of a loserboy to do that and it wouldve felt a bit forced imo)

#i think that was way more than you asked for but i rlly dont know how other authors plan/outline/draft so i felt the need to explain #i continue to add to my outline/planning as i write lmao #slowly pulling stuff down from the planning into the main prose until theres nothing left and/or its done (which isnt always the same time) #answered #anonymous #talk #text #mine #writing tag

[vinbee631]

You Matter to Me

teehee I did a thing!!

day 7 of logince week finally!! I was inspired by a lil chat in the tss big bang discord server to finally write the last part of this, and ngl I'm very glad i did!

anyway, enjoy! (the prompt for this was 'importance' btw)

“I Love You!”

Roman stared at the big bubble letters in front of him and cringed.

Logan was coming home from school for winter break tomorrow, and after not seeing his boyfriend for- well, a long time, Roman wanted to do something special to show his appreciation.

They had both been extremely busy, Roman with his new acting job and Logan with graduate school, that they barely had the time to call each other once a week.

But now that they had the perfect opportunity for a wonderful date, or simply time spent as close to each other as possible, Roman stared at the project in front of him and cringed.

To be fair, his options were quite limited. Earlier that week, when he and Logan had been discussing plans over the phone, his boyfriend had expressed more interest in doing something together, at home. There was nothing wrong with their normal dates, out in public, going on hikes, visiting museums, what have you. But, the semester had taken a lot out of him, and it would be too overwhelming to have an outing like that the day after he finished exams.

So, to avoid any shutdowns, and to make the day as fun as it possibly could for both of them, Roman needed to come up with a different idea, something more private than the original plans he’d scoped out in his head weeks before asking his boyfriend about them.

No big deal, right?

He groaned dramatically, falling back to the floor so he wouldn’t have to look at the godforsaken banner anymore. He was already getting sick of his trash brain trying to convince him his idea wasn’t good enough, and he had only been working for about an hour or so.

It was intensely frustrating, to say the very least.

But off course, it was the perfect time for someone to knock on his door.

“It’s unlocked,” he called out, still lying supine as Gram made her way into his room and glanced over his abandoned project, laid out haphazardly across his bed.

“Looking good,” she noted with a sympathetic smile, “don’t you agree?”

Roman grunted, leaning up on his elbows. “Sure, absolutely, that’s why I’m throwing a perfectly mature and becoming tantrum on the floor.”

“It doesn’t quite look like a tantrum, I’ve seen your tantrums. No, this is… more like giving up, which is very unlike you,” she continued as she moved slowly to sit cross-legged near Roman’s feet.

“...I suppose you have a point. Either way, I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon. I don’t have a plan anymore, the thing I started was garbage, so what’s even the point anyway?

“Well, first of all,” Gram started, “You love him. And in case it has escaped your notice, he loves you back. Regardless of what you decide to do with your time, he’s going to have fun, and he’s not going to stop loving you if it isn’t absolutely perfect.”

Roman rolled his eyes. Just because she was right didn’t mean she had to rub it in, or anything.

“Second, Logan has never actively disliked any dates you have put together. Remember back in July when you took him out for a picnic and it poured as soon as you sat down? The only complaints I heard that afternoon were from you. Logan was much more interested in the fact you had a white shirt on.”

Roman choked, blustering around the burning in his cheeks. “I- c’mon, Gram!”

“Third,” she continued despite the halfhearted protest, “you are about to see your partner in person for the first time in- what is it, four months? So, no matter what you do, it’s going to be special for both of you. No matter what I say, you’re going to stress about this whole thing, but I’m telling you, you don’t have to. That boy is just as cheesy as you are.”

“I swear, you can read minds,” Roman grumbled, but as she spoke he had crawled over to lay his head in her lap, so the effect was pretty much completely lost.

Gram chucked, ruffling his hair. “Pretty much, yes. Now, are you going to get off the floor and get back to work? You’ve only got about… maybe eighteen hours before Logan is supposed to arrive? Better make the most of them!”

Roman pouted as the teasing continued, but after a little bit more time spent laying in her lap, relaxing as she wove her fingers through his kinky hair, he sat up, finding the motivation to keep working, for Logan.

“Alright, alright, before you get completely focused, help an old woman up? It has been a long time since my sitting on the floor days.”

Roman chuckled but knelt down obligingly, supporting her back and holding her opposite hand as they stood. “Nah, you’re not old. Ancient though, that’s a much better descriptor.”

Gram whacked him on the arm, but she was smiling just as cheekily as he was. “I swear, the only thing I ever managed to get you to remember was my snarkiness. Never the important lessons, always the teasing.”

Roman chuckled fondly as she grumbled jokingly to herself, shutting the door quietly behind her. He took a beat to appreciate just how much he loved his family, and he was back to work, pacing and muttering to himself about the logistics of streamer placement.

…

The next morning, Roman woke two hours before his alarm was set to go off. That wasn’t particularly odd, as that sometimes happened when he was overly excited, but today, that wasn’t the case.

Someone was calling him. He groped blindly at his bedside table and fumbled his cell phone up to his ear.

“I swear to god, it’s too early to read. This better not be one of my brothers,” he yawned, rubbing at his eyes as he complained.

“Uh… n-not quite,” the person on the other end stammered, and Roman was surprised to find he didn’t immediately recognize their voice.

“I- sorry, do I know who this is? I could just be too tired to process any words, that is a very strong possibility.”

The person on the other end chuckled slightly. “I think we’ve met? I’m- this is Virgil, Logan’s roommate. I dunno, I just clicked the first contact that popped up, I promise I’m not snooping through his phone or anything stalker-y like that. I just didn’t know what-”

“Hey,” Roman interrupted softly, finally moving to sit, “it’s fine. Logan trusts you, so I have no reason not to. Er, anyway, what’s up? Is he in shutdown or something?”

“Kind of?” Virgil hesitated. “I… I mean, I know what it’s like when he shuts down. I’ve kinda… helped him with it before, but this isn’t… I don’t know what’s wrong.

“The… midterm exams and stuff, kinda took a lot out of- everyone? So, he came back last night and was totally out of it, and he immediately went to bed, which like- that’s college for ya, and I expected it, and like, same. But then… I tried checking in with him this morning and he’s… it doesn’t look like he’s moved all night but he’s not asleep and just kinda- staring at the wall, and I can’t… he won’t snap out of it? I guess? It’s… not good, whatever he had going on.”

Roman had stood up and begun to pace as Virgil spoke, but by the time he finished explaining, he stood motionless in the middle of the room. He let out a small sigh.

“Okay. That’s… yeah, that’s pretty bad. Uh… okay. I guess I should clarify, I’m his boyfriend, and I live less than an hour away. I can… it shouldn’t be a problem to pick him up but… I don’t wanna leave him like- that for so long. I guess… I can try talking to him over the phone? It’s something, I guess.”

“Uh, yeah… okay. You’re on speaker now,” Virgil announced, shuffling around on the other end. Roman didn’t start talking until the movement stopped.

“Hey, Logan? Can you hear me, sweetheart? I heard you’re having a hard time right now, and I wanna help. Can you tell me what’s wrong, or tap it out? Virgil’s here for you too, baby, we just wanna help you feel safe.”

There was silence on the other end for a minute or two before someone huffed, and Roman heard more shuffling.

“I… I don’t even think he blinked.”

Roman let out a heaving sigh. “Okay, okay, that’s… shit, okay. We’ll… I’ll head out in just a minute. I gotta, get some stuff together- is his stuff packed? Can you tell?”

Virgil huffed what could vaguely be considered a laugh, and Roman frowned. “I- sorry, yes. He’s packed. He said… he told me, something in his- that formal way he talks, but- he had to be ready, he couldn’t let his- exhaustion and shit get in the way of ‘going home.’ So he packed, like, way early. Before midterms even started, I think.”

Roman allowed himself a brief, sappy smile before rushing downstairs to put his shoes on. “Tha’s- yeah, that’s good. Okay… I’m gonna leave in just a few minutes. When do you have to head home? Can you… will you be there, until I get there?”

“Oh, yeah, definitely. A: I’m not leaving him alone like this, and B: I drive myself home. I can leave whenever, but we have to be out of here by… noon, or something. I dunno, I still need to pack the stuff I need to take back with me, and that’ll take me way more than an hour. Just- you can text Logan’s phone when you get here, and I’ll let you in.”

“I- good, thanks. And… I appreciate you, looking out for him. Someone has to do it when I’m not there. I’m glad… y’know, that he’s got you. You seem… nice.”

“Glowing praise,” Virgil snarked, seeming to regret it instantly as the line went dead silent right after. “Er, I mean, yeah, that’s kinda the bare minimum. And it’s… the- looking out for, each other, it’s mutual, definitely. But… thanks.”

“Of course,” Roman replied easily. “See you in an hour.”

“See ya.” The line clicked silent, and Roman just barely crumpled. Before he was able to rush out the door, he needed to make another call.

“Hey, Remus? I have a favor to cash in. Like… right now?”

…

The twins rode together in dead silence. Remus had been more than willing to jump straight out of bed and drive with his brother out to Logan’s apartment. With him there, they wouldn’t have to abandon Logan’s car, seeing as the aforementioned sleep-deprived student should not be doing so himself.

Roman still didn’t know exactly what was going on, but he figured if Logan had been that out of it this morning, he probably didn’t sleep. And whatever it was that was keeping him up, it was something serious.

He was, perhaps, being a bit irresponsible with his driving, but he saved them about ten minutes with his speeding. And he didn’t get caught in the act, so there wasn’t any point in being a narc, now was there?

But of course, he parked in the wrong lot and wasted ten minutes getting back to the right one because despite going there for four years, the campus was still as complicated and frustrating to navigate as it had been when he first started.

When he’d first met Logan…

He snapped himself out of that tangent, leading his brother along to where Virgil was waiting for them, fidgeting with his hoodie sleeve in one hand and waving them over with the other.

“Uh, hey. Didn’t realize there were two of you,” he joked awkwardly. “...Anyway, uh- follow me, I guess.”

Virgil led them up a set of stairs and down the hall to their room. Roman had visited once before, but he couldn’t have picked out the floor Logan was living on, much less the room, and especially in a time crunch- yeah, he was really glad Virgil was around.

Sure enough, when he unlocked the door and brought the twins inside, there was Logan, lying curled up in a tight ball on his side and staring at nothing.

It was… concerning, to say the least.

Remus talked with Virgil for a bit, the latter filling him in on what he and Roman had discussed over the phone, and the two agreed to give them some space by starting the process of loading up Virgil’s and Logan’s car with their suitcases.

That left Roman, sitting slowly on the floor by Logan’s bed and resting his chin on the mattress. Logan continued to stare past him.

“Hey, honey,” he called gently, reaching up to weave a hand through Logan’s hair. “Where’d you go? Hm? Hiding from me, on our anniversary? Kinda rude, but I suppose I’ll live. How ‘bout you come back? We can talk all you want about it, or none at all if that makes you feel better.”

Logan didn’t quite stir, but it looked less like his eyes were glazed over and more like he was staring at Roman’s forehead. That was something, at least.

“Um, let’s see. I’m sure we have some of your cubes around if you need to focus on something else for a bit. Whatever’s got you trapped in there-” Roman ever-so-gently rapped a knuckle on Logan’s temple, making his eyes blink closed- “doesn’t look like much fun. Or, I could squish ya.”

Logan’s eyes flashed open at that, and he flicked his gaze down to Roman’s left shoulder.

‘Yes.’

“Okay, yes to the squish, it is!” He cheered softly, shifting off the floor with a small grunt and maneuvering himself to lay right next to Logan.

“Fancy meeting you here,” he joked under his breath. “Okay, baby. Gonna need to- shift us around a little bit. Do you think you can unwind for me? I can’t properly squish a Logan ball.”

Logan frowned, but with a little bit of help from his boyfriend, he was able to relax enough to lay flat on his back, pressed comfortably into the mattress under him by Roman’s full body weight.

“That better?” Roman was relieved to see him nod slowly, closing his eyes and leaning back into his pillow.

He wasn’t sure how long they lay like that. Every so often, Remus and Virgil would pop back in for the rest of their bags or to check on them, but after a while, they took a break to get lunch together.

“So,” Roman started, wincing as his voice cracked slightly, the sudden break in silence apparently startling his vocal cords, “do you want to talk about it? Or, sign about it, I suppose. Are you verbal right now?”

Logan huffed, shifting to free his hands. 'Semi-verbal, but yes. I should, quote-unquote ‘sign’ about it, if I can find the right words.'

Roman nodded, allowing him to take whatever time he needed to figure out his thoughts. He hummed under his breath, watching as Logan relaxed slightly, tapping along the side of his arm to the beat.

“Yesterday, I was on my way… here after my final midterm, and I ran into- someone. Another graduate student I have met in passing, but… mm.”

‘He made an unfortunately timed joke,’ he signed, ‘about my supposed interest in winter courses, something I have, admittedly done in the past, but..’ His movements paused, and he huffed again.

‘The way he phrased it, I just… it made me think of Dad.’

Roman blinked in surprise. Logan never talked about his dad, not even to Gram. Roman had asked, way back when they first met, what his family was like, and Logan had talked about his mother and grandad. Even after years of being friends, and then boyfriends, any questions about his biological dad were dismissed, fast enough that Roman didn’t even question the dismissal.

So, this was probably pretty bad.

“I… do not remember much, from when he was still alive,” Logan continued. “But, most of the… active cruelty, was on his part.”

“My…” he hummed, shifting his hands from where they previously gripped Roman’s shirt. ‘My mother and her father continued the behavior, the encouragement of toxic work ethic and rejection of the accommodations I needed to not shut down. But he started it. I just didn’t realize how harmful it was at the time. Not until years after he died.’

“Oh, darling,” Roman cooed, leaning closer to Logan to press a feather-light kiss to his forehead. “Baby, I’m so sorry. I’m sure you know by now how awful and unnecessary that behavior is, but being reminded of it right before your first chance to take a break? I can’t imagine… I’m so sorry, beloved.”

Logan didn’t have much else to say, after that. He squished his forehead into Roman’s shoulder and they cuddled for a while longer. He didn’t cry, surprisingly enough. Roman wasn’t quite sure why he expected him to, but his partner didn’t seem any less appreciative of the affection regardless of the lack of emotional release.

Instead, a few minutes later, he sighed happily into Roman’s ear, finding enough of his voice to whisper. “I love you.”

Roman thought back to the banner, how his stress from yesterday about the perfect date seemed so inconsequential when he had Logan in his arms. He thought about how all he wanted to do now was hold his partner for the rest of the day and support him through all the troubles he never should have dealt with in the first place.

“I love you, too.”

#fanfiction #sanders sides fanfic #logan sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #remus sanders #logan angst #autistic logan #hurt/comfort #tw dissociation #tw abelism #mentioned

[nutstickler78]

My love for you.

Oliver x Alice

This is just a short FF I thought of while listening to Day 1 by Red Velvet!

Ngl, was originally gonna be more gorey but I wanted to try something fluffy~

DISCLAIMER: Might be OOC!

Also, English isn‘t my first language 🙁.

"Alice..? No way, she’s horrifying!"

"You mean Alice..? I‘m not risking my life! She‘s not even human!"

"What do you mean? She‘s a demon!"

That‘s all he‘d ever hear.

Alice is dangerous, Alice is a monster, Alice is a demon, Alice has no mercy for anyone.

Never ever would anyone dare to utter a nice word about Alice.

For him, it was quite the contrary.

"Oliver? I suppose he can be a troublemaker at times, but he‘s funny otherwise."

"HE‘S VERY HANDSOME!"

"Oliver‘s smart! He never fails school!"

Of course, there were the few that would call him a mean bully, but never more than that, since in their eyes, he was nothing more than just a bully. But that‘s not as extreme as being called a demon.

Even though it all had its reasons.. he wasn’t gonna deny it, Alice was a murderer. Messed up. I mean, she literally kills students to eat them! What‘s not crazy about that?!

But.. he didn’t care about that. He saw her as his love, his girlfriend. He saw a kind princess underneath all that ice cold exterior. So what if she‘s a cannibal murderer? He doesn’t care about small details like that!

He loved seeing her everyday, he loved seeing her face light up as he approached, with it with no gift. He loved waking up and knowing he was gonna see her that day. He loved hearing her melodious voice talk about the little fly she saw today. He loved her.

"YOO HOO!~ ALICEEE!~"

His voice rang out, the name 'Alice' rolling off his tongue smoother than butter on pancakes.

From the shadows, two bright red eyes shone. Ones that are like bright rubies shining in a cave.

"Guess whooo?~"

"Oh, dear. You talk like those princes you told me about."

Alice calmed down as soon as she noticed it was Oliver who called out to her.

She got up from her place, walking over.

"What brings you here this time?“

"Awh, shucks! You already know why!"

Alice cracked a slight smile, her mood brightening up more as she heard Oliver talk.

"To; See your one and only dearie?"

She repeated the words he usually tells her, replacing the 'my' with 'your' so it‘d make a bit more sense to her when she said it.

This made Oliver happy, feeling quite honored that she‘d remember his words.

He always felt happy around her. Don‘t get him wrong, his friends made him happy too, as well as his family! But Alice was a different kind of happiness, in a good way.

"Guess what I brought you?~"

"A leg?"

"Wrong! Even better!"

".. Dearie, I don’t like guessing."

This earned a chuckle from Oliver, who just handed her the box. It smelled rancid, rancid like blood rancid. But Alice didn‘t care about such details.

"Open it!"

Alice opened the box, finding two layers in it. A note, a separator and underneath a pigs heart. How romantic~

Alice was obviously overjoyed by this, she always was when it was Oliver. She happily ate the heart as Oliver invited himself inside and closed the door behind him. He sat down at the usual spot he sat at, with Alice joining him.

He leaned himself against Alice and started talking. About what? Just about anything. Anything his brain could come up with at the moment.

Alice in turn, listened to every word he told her. She loved the way his eyes would light up whenever he talked.

This time, he was talking about some spider movie. Apparently, it’s part of a bigger 'web' of movies he really likes as well. She‘d love to go on a cinema date with him someday..

Just like any other evening, they spent the time together. Talking, laughing, sharing those quiet moments, she loved it. She’d never trade these moments for anything.

She would never admit this, but..

Oliver was the melody missing from her lyrics.

#fundamental paper education #fundamental paper education oliver #fundamental paper education alice #fpe #nutstickler78 writing

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Ngl I'm surprised you haven't said anything about Yukari yet given how you are with her and how reload made her less bitchy

H....a....ha......hahahahahahahahfjsdakfj;alfjkajfk;lakf

Slight vague spoilers (general P3/not P3R specific, tho I wish these asks were directed towards my "Silly plays P3R" blog TT0TT):

Oh....oh anon....you don't know how many times I had to stop myself from going on a rant.

Oh it's pissing me off. "But wait she's less bitchy!" That doesn't solve ANYTHING! If I'm suppose to like her despite being bitchy, then why are they making her less bitchy??? It feels like they realize that she's too rough around the edges so they should sand her down! But then that's not Yukari right? Shouldn't we love her despite that? No? Then what's the issue with people hating her being bitchy in the first place?

It feels disingenuous. Just....*inhales* Yeah P3R is reminding me of why I dropped FES the first time I played through it ohhhh boy.

But.....that was just my first reaction. Pre-Fuuka arc. She does feel a lot friendlier.....but some of the content (that feels new rather than retranslated) doesn't.......vibe well with what we know about later.

They DID NOT do a good job showcasing Yukari's discomfort with Mitsuru. Like both presentation or in the voice direction.

Like visually, if you look at the PS2 ver of the "She's too busy for us commoners" 4/20 scene you can see Yukari does NOT look happy to see Mitsuru.

Like R!Yukari's body language DOES NOT change, but in the PS2 ver we can clearly see she's......not feeling comfortable around Mitsu. (due to how P3P operates we miss out on that detail entirely, as the scene also plays out a lot faster/slightly differently but that's for a diff comparison post. This game is suppose to be remaking the original not P3P 8U)

Then it's reinforced with what she says.

The line "She's busy with the student council" type line doesn't really sound (tone wise) hostile in the JPN undub or P3R dub. But I'm guess SOMETHING hostile (either the phrasing used in Jpn, or maybe it's the tone I'm missing out on) because Junpei points it out to her. She then does sound uncomfortable in the JPN undub while trying to be like "oh no it's not like that it's just...." response line.

And in the OG eng dub we can easily hear her hostility no need to explain that. Sounds a bit bitchy but yeah. Then her discomfort in response to Junpei matches the undub's response line.

But P3R???? Her tone in the "She's busy with the student council" line DOES NOT give any type of hostility at all. This doesn't even account for the retranslation of the line (which tones it down even more).

The old line used to be "She's probably busy with things like Student Council, unlike us." and the new line now says "She's not like us. She's busy, you know? With the student council or whatever."

The original translation gave off an inherent hostility we can easily pick up on. The second one, the only flippant thing in there is "or whatever" but after it's prefaced with.....what kinda feels like her DEFENDING Mitsu. The rest of the sentence sounds like she's defending MItsu's behavior, and the "or whatever" feels more like a "and so on" rather than "tch whatever" feel.

Combine that new translation with the new voice direction/actor in P3R......the whole line just.....doesn't hit. Which isn't good because the rest of the scene continues on. Junpei calls her out on hostility, and I'm left here thinking "What hostility???? That's the hostility of a wet paper towel if I've ever seen one!"

Then her defensive response sounds more unsure, and confused (like is she aware she has issues with Mitsu????). TT0TT When in the JPN and original english it sounds more defensive, like she's trying to cover it up hastily.

(oh and this isn't even touching on the worst portraits. Were the OG P3 portraits skrunkly? Yeah. Did they provide a clear vibe tho? Yeah.)

Like is P3R Yukari SURE she's Yukari?

The answer is yeah.

She still makes the same hypocritical errors. Such as harping on eavesdropping on a bully (and then not reporting....to either a teacher or MItsu. Good job keep it up, you're really paralleling Mako here!) And only stepping up because of Junpei making fun of her over a ghost. XP

Or after Fuuka joins. She still HARPS on it so fucking much. "Are we sure she wasn't forced" I dunno Yukari. You barely put up a stink when I joined and said I didn't want to be leader at every fucking turn. Nor did you harp on Junpei joining. NOR do you really bring up feeling forced to join (which I'm pretty sure you can't say that since when you trauma dumped on me you told me you joined to find answers >_>). But yes let's bring it up every 5 seconds, say you'll drop it, then NOT drop it. Even tho Fuuka's fine with it, and literally the only option is to leave the creepy bad place alone????

(what really sticks out with Fuuka is that....she feels fine with it in the scene, doesn't look pressured and.....we really don't get a lot of scenes with Fuuka up to that point so we have NO BASIS on how she usually acts. So it really just makes it look like Yukari wants to just stir the pot for no gd reason)

Then she ropes the new girl into committing a crime, and then NOT consulting her about it before dropping that fucking bomb during a meeting (one she interrupts btw). Acts out, gets her damn answers, keeps acting out. Then suddenly apologizes, Mitsu is like "oh ok", then Yukari is in her room being like "Oh no, did my feelings not get through to her? Did I not express my emotions right?" No it's because you're acting like an asshat! TT0TT I wouldn't accept your apology either like stop it.

Then we get to the damn beach, she finds out the "truth", the Kirijou group (aka Mitsu and her dad) despite not being the actual ones to fuck the world up, still take responsibility. Give her the truth that they know, say "it's really our fault, not your dad's" and Yukari loses it. Acts out in ANOTHER meeting, throws another tantrum. Is mood swinging like a motherfucker (which I get but...), which flips from being upset, to saying horrible things, to apologizing, to saying horrible things again, and rinse repeat. Saying stuff like "I'm jealous her dad gets to live, that's kinda horrible. I'm horrible aren't I?" (man more Mako vibes? Surprised she didn't call herself scum u_u) Like damn, she's losing it. I should totally slap her, that'll make her come to her senses, no? :0 No no I really think that would be good for her. She's at her lowest we should smack her back (to the top). That's how it works.....right? >:( ("Ok ok Silly we know your still hung up on that" and I will never not be hung up on it.....moving on 8U)

The difference is that this version feels off because she just SUDDENLY gets pissy outta nowhere (like there's not a small ramp up, it's just full mania RIGHT NOW! At least the other one was as JARRING)

Voice wise, Heather is fine, it just feel like there's......some stuff missing. Michelle could be TOO bitchy at times, but even with Heather really.......smoothing out all of Yukari's flaws (awww but I thought people loved her flaws??? Why are you smoothing them out? :0) she still is.....deeply unpleasant.

I finally got Aigis (jk at Shinji now), but man.....it was rough getting there. It really reminded me why I dropped FES the first time I played TT0TT Her and Junpei are too much.

Speaking of Junpei (small side rant, but it's because he and Yukari both were wildin' at the same fucking time TT0TT). But his blow up after the Heiro/Lovers fight..........it's just so out there??? TT0TT

I get it's because everyone is praising the leader but man...... it still feels outta left field! I think it should've been placed after Priestess. The built up to that a bit better, plus he could be riding off of having just been saved and acting recklessly.

I dunno the timing just felt off. But Junpei's feels more because of the source. Yukari feels like it's because it's half source and half new voice.

(also funny reaction I had in the Shinji arc: *is morning at school gate* Yukari: Hey! So I've been thinking about Shinji Me: Stop thinking. Every time you think bull shit gets stirred just stop Yukari: Why do you think he rejoined? Me: Why are you so NOSY??? TT0TT Stop it!

The irony is if she actually was THAT NOSY like she always is maybe she could've changed something, but I guess she's just so wishy washy in what she gets nosy about???? TT0TT "I don't like spying on this guy and doing stuff behind his back" *proceeds to spy on Mitsu and do stuff behind her back*. Like she'll go balls to the walls one second, then "eh" the next???? god she's such a hypocrite.....'it's a flaw' and it's an entire person I'd avoid IRL.

But fr, the game's already SHOWED me enough info, but why does it feel the need to really try to spell it out for me??? Those scenes aren't optional what do you think I'm MISSING??? TT0TT)

What gets me is fans are like "oh you can't handle a girl that's a little bit mean" ????? Yeah I don't want to be around someone who is going to be mean to me wtf???? Why would I be nice to someone who is only going to make me feel not the best? TT0TT I already dealt with that in high school and lower I ain't doing it again skdjflkjfa

Tldr; Yukari is a hypocritic character that the game seems to not realize. She gets away with a lot of stuff, and is wishy washy on her morals. It's her way or the high way (and this gets worse in the Answer). It doesn't matter how much they try to soften op her voice she still has those faults and is a drag to be around. It doesn't matter how nice she decides to be with me, I can't help but shake the feeling she'll screw me over too. (not as much as I don't trust Junpei, but still enough for me to doubt her word every time she talks).

#silly asks #silly answers #anti-yukari #p3 salt #yukari salt #anti yukari