#MONSTER SOUND CARTRIDGE
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UK 1991
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I did NOT know about that oot first playthrough route and I'm here begging you to elaborate How In the—??
SO-
When I was a wee child, I was a fool that turned down my aunt’s offer to get me Ocarina of Time brand new off the presses because she had heard that “all the kids were buying it”.
(I DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND WHY I DID THAT I TURNED DOWN A FREE GAME LIKE WTF????)
Later on, I saw my friend had bought Oracle of Seasons and, wanting to copy him because kids like to be cool like their friends, I begged my parents and they got me Oracle of Seasons and Oracle of Ages, so those were my first Zelda games. At this point I was full blown obsessed with LoZ and, going online, I learned that OoT was not only the best Zelda game ever, but possibly the best game ever made. So, lo and behold I was back at my parents’ feet begging for OoT. My dad was not pleased but after being a constant nag he decided that if he found a copy at the flea market he would buy it second hand, his budget being 30 or something dollars.
AND he found one! So I popped the cartridge in and I see a save file that seems pretty far ahead in the game so I open it and I’m taken aback because this guy saved at the Shadow Temple. Coming off the Oracle games this was quite a shift in tone so, insanely curious, I started to explore. Soon enough I realized that this dungeon was not completed so, being the emo child I was, I completely forgot that it might be a better idea to start a fresh save file and went on ahead and completed the Shadow Temple. SO, the Shadow Temple was my first OoT dungeon.
(I died so many freaking times like I was learning about the tools I had on the fly 😭)
By that point, since I had already committed to finishing the Shadow Temple I was like “let me do what this previous player didn’t do and finish the game”. I explored Hyrule a bit. Castle Town fascinated me so much because there were ZOMBIES and then I saw Ganon’s Castle (at this point I knew Ganon as the blue pig monster). When I discovered the Gerudo desert it was over for this hoe because, retroactively now that I think about it, I felt like there was something in the fiction I loved that I felt I could actually relate to. I played the horseback archery game so many times. I completed the Gerudo Training Grounds and got the ice arrows. I discovered the Spirit Temple and looked around inside even though it was complete.
(I also remember finding it funny that Ganon was Ganondorf like what’s with that suffiiiiiiix)
ANYWAYS after all that I went into the Temple of Time and then discovered Sheik where I was like oh who the fuck is this but then Sheik was Princess Zelda and I’m like damn holy shit this is a lot what is HAPPENING and then Ganondorf crashes the party and I’m telling you, this is a distinct memory, because I was like 👀wow so cocky with those words 👀 that laugh 👀 sounds so cool 👀 who are you GanonDORF 👀👀👀
After that I quickly ate dinner and flew back into my room because I mean. I was already endeared to the Gerudo and Ganondorf is a Gerudo and he sounds so sick and I completed Ganon’s castle so fast and then I saw him, the man, the legend, on a fucking organ playing his own theme song and I’m like-
Wrooooooooooow 👀👀👀👀👀
Anyways I was so fucking distracted by Ganondorf I fought him like a million times and combed through Hyrule searching for every bit of lore I could find about him before I realized that it might be a good idea to, you know, START FROM THE BEGINNING it might ya know contextualize some things.
So yeah thats the HGHHJJGKKHGFJJ part. I think I had OoT for about 2 months? Before I started it from the beginning. I was a weird child what kind of 11 going on 12 year old falls like that for the King of Evil?
(This bitch that’s who look at where I am NOW-)
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~Child Of The Storm~
Nikolai Lantsov x OC
Image by - @brokendreamtale2
Warnings- the volcra attacking and a person's arm being torn apart
A/N- Let me know if you'd like to be added or removed from the taglist!
Taglist- @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @sirisuorionblack @nadeleine123n
Ch-26 ~Monsters of the darkness~
Alina finally did what he asked and the fold went dark. All they could hear was the rapid beating of wings, the Volcra drew closer to them.
“Now, Alina!” Sturmhond shouted from somewhere. “Throw it wide!”
The girl suddenly cast light out in a blazing wave. They could finally see the horror surrounding them in the dead lands. There were Volcra everywhere, suspended in the air around the ship, a mass of grey, winged, writhing bodies, milky, sightless eyes, and jaws crowded with teeth. Their resemblance to the nichevo’ya was unmistakable, and yet they were so much more grotesque, and their aims not as precise as them.
“Fire!” the boy cried.
"Now" Tolya spoke, and Anaya opened fire along the twins .The sounds of the guns echoed, louder than anything else.
The Volcra plummeted from the skies around them, chests blown open, their wings torn from their bodies.
The spent cartridges pinged to the deck of the ship. The sharp burn of gunpowder filled the air.
The guns were massive, yet not at all difficult to operate, and they seemed to fire faster than anything else, Two hundred rounds per minute, Anaya remembered the captain's words.
The monsters didn’t seem to know what was happening. They made desperate efforts to escape.
They finally came to a halt. Anaya looked up to see the smears of black blood and bits of flesh on the canvas sails. She then looked at Alina, who appeared as if she was ill.
Tolya suddenly threw back his head and gave a triumphant howl. The rest of the crew joined in, barking and yapping.
“Do you think we can draw another flock?” one of the Squallers asked.
“Maybe,” Sturmhond responded. “But we should probably head east. It’s almost dawn, and I don’t want us to be spotted.”
“There are more of them,” Mal said suddenly. “A lot more.”
“How do you know?” the captain asked
“I just do.”
Sturmhond hesitated. With the goggles and the attire, it was impossible to read his expression. “Where?” he said finally.
“Just a little north,” Mal said. “That way.” He pointed into the dark.
Sturmhond called the bearing. Anaya attempted to steady her breath, but for some reason, enjoyed the adrenaline pumping in her veins. She remembered how she hadn't felt this sort of thrill since she'd left Ketterdam.
The Hummingbird dipped its wings and turned as Mal called out directions and Sturmhond corrected the course.
Sturmhond took them lower. Alina's light shimmered over the Fold’s colorless sand and touched the shadowy bulk of a wrecked sandskiff.
Suddenly, Anaya could spot broken bits of wood and mast on the barren land, they were the remains of the skiff. She never saw the skiff's fate, but thinking if she would've been on it through that, sent a slight shiver down her spine.
She quickly brushed off the fear as Mal led them to the ruins of the skiff.
The Hummingbird sank lower. There were bones scattered over the dead sand, bones of the people on the skiff, Anaya suddenly realized, a wave of tremor passed through her.
The Hummingbird banked starboard. Alina's light murky depths of the broken hull. The screeches began to be heard again. Three large Volcra were beneath the skiff’s hull, their backs turned away from them, their wings spread wide.
But they soon came to realize what they were shielding with their bodies. It was a sea of wriggling, twisted shapes, tiny, glistening arms, little backs split by the transparent membranes of barely formed wings. They mewled and whimpered, slithering over each other, trying to get away from the light.
They'd discovered a nest
The crew suddenly went silent.
Sturmhond brought the ship around in another low arc.
Then he shouted, “Tolya, Tamar, grenatki.” Anaya failed to understand what he meant. But then she saw the twins roll out two cast-iron shells and heft them to the edge of the rail.
“Squallers, on my signal,” the captain said grimly.
“Fuses!” he shouted, “Gunners, drop heavy!”
The instant the shells were released, Sturmhond roared,
“Now!” and cut the ship’s wheel hard to the right.
The Squallers threw up their arms, and the Hummingbird shot skyward. A silent second passed, then a massive boom echoed beneath them. The heat and force of the explosion struck the Hummingbird in a powerful gust.
“Steady!” Sturmhond bellowed.
The little craft foundered wildly, swinging like a pendulum beneath its canvas wings. Anaya's head began to spin and she hastily grabbed the edge of the railing to steady herself.
The ship finally stopped swaying and settled into a smooth arc, tracing a wide circle high above the burning wreckage of the skiff.
The crew began to howl and bark again. Mal joined in, raising his rifle in the air in triumph. Anaya looked around her with a befuddled expression. Above the cheering, she could still hear the volcra’s screams.
Anaya continued to observe her surrounding when she suddenly heard the loud cry of a familiar voice. She spun around rapidly to see Alina on the floor, trembling. She rushed to the girl, but before she could reach her, she saw a flock of Volcra speeding towards them.
The crew began to clamour. Sturmhond shouted Alina's name, but it seemed to have no effect on her. Anaya rushed to the girl and shook her with a jerk, "Alina!" she called out, the girl suddenly jerked, coming back to her senses.
A crew member wailed, and the ship listed sharply. Mal quickly appeared by their side. Alina finally threw the light back up in a shining cascade. The volcra that had descended upon them yowled and wheeled back into darkness.
Anaya finally saw one of the Squallers lying bleeding on the deck, his arm nearly torn from its socket. She rushed to his side, though she did not know what exactly she would do.
The sail above him flapped uselessly. The Hummingbird tilted, listing hard to starboard, rapidly losing altitude.
Anaya took her coat off and pressed it on the sailor's arm, attempting to stop the bleeding but it was too much.
“Tamar, help him!” Sturmhond ordered. Tolya and Tamar soon appeared by her side. "He's bleeding too much!" Anaya yelled
The ship bobbled and wavered. Sturmhond yelled orders to the crewmen working the sails.
Anaya's heart was frantically beating as the twins attempted to help the squaller, her gaze remained fixated on him
“Is she injured?” she heard Sturmhond shout
“Just get us out of here!” Mal replied.
“Oh, is that what I should be trying to do?” Sturmhond barked back, his sarcasm still clinging to him
The Volcra were still shrieking, but Anaya did not look at them. "Keep a firm grip" Tamar ordered her, and she obliged, putting more force on the sailor's arm.
The Hummingbird rocked and shuddered.
They were suddenly out of the darkness. Anaya finally looked up to see the blue light of early dawn closing around them.
“Lights out!” Sturmhond commanded.
Alina dropped her hands and held the cockpit's rail.
#grishaverse#shadow and bone#nikolai lantsov x reader#nikolai lantsov#nikolai lantsov fanfiction#nikolai lanstov#nikolai lanstov x reader#nikolai lantsov x oc
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Special Interest Timeline: Retro Games
I'm on a retro games special interest kick, and in my previous post on said things, I talked about how - in the mid-aughts - I really got into games made in the 1970s and 1980s... In the early 2000s.
And I got my history a little messed up when writing about it, so I shall do... a timeline!
Mostly for my sake!
I'm one of those autistics who tries to keep a whole-ass timeline about my special interests... When I got into it, what got me into it, how long it took me to take the next step and discover more things about it, etc....
My love of retro games stemmed from a childhood of playing simplistic MS-DOS shareware games in the late '90s. Games off of floppy disks, like HUGO'S HOUSE OF HORRORS, COMMANDER KEEN 2, CRYSTAL CAVES, WORD RESCUE, CD-MAN (a PAC-MAN clone), SKI FREE, and more... I also forgot to mention that I had a hand-me-down NES in the '90s as well...
Again, going off of my previous post, I mentioned that it kinda starts in the early 2000s. I want to say approximately 2002/2003?
Christmas 2002: I get a GameBoy Advance and SUPER MARIO ADVANCE 2. SMA2 contains a really good port of SUPER MARIO WORLD, originally released in 1990, and an updated version of the 1983 arcade title MARIO BROS. I don't know if this necessarily kicks off the special interest, but it definitely plays a big part in it.
Late 2002/Early 2003: This is approximate. A guess. Around this time, I went to my local swimming pool every mid-week, or something like that, with my father. Afterwards, we'd stop for a bite at a nearby diner. They have a MS. PAC-MAN machine in the vestibule. One day, I watched someone doing really really good at the game. I'm reminded of the old DOS games I loved so much. Around this time, I was obsessed with what year a piece of media came out, so upon seeing the "copyright 1980, 1981" on the attract mode of the game, I had learned something new: Arcade games like that dated back to the 1980s.
Throughout 2003: Going to arcades wherever I went (i.e. bowling alleys, restaurants, etc.) and seeing at least one retro arcade game there. A lot of the time, it was one of those MS. PAC-MAN/GALAGA "Class of 1981" cabinets that were pretty new at the time.
Christmas 2003: I'm given two plug-n-play retro games collections... This is where it all *really* takes off...
The one on the left is the Jakks Pacific Namco set, which contains PAC-MAN, BOSCONIAN, RALLY-X, DIG DUG, and GALAXIAN. Pretty solid ports, all things considered. This I got on Christmas Eve, and I remember that night trying out all the games... And I played the living daylights out of this thing after that...
The one on the right was a bootleg, a Frankenstein's monster-like controller system concoction that were sold in malls and on QVC and the like. My grandmother got that one for me, and it contained a cartridge containing 84 various Famicom and NES games. These "Famiclones" were common back then and it was a side-market that only mutated over time. Luckily, this was one of the less egregious ones, and it had an assortment of NES games I couldn't get elsewhere. The hand-me-down NES we had no longer worked, so this was a worth substitute... Take out the cartridge, there's 10 built-in games that are basically Famiclones. Weird thrown-together 8-bit games of origin I'm unaware of at the moment.
Early 2004: Near my dad's place is a warehouse selling arcade machines and cocktail tables. While they didn't allow customers to play the games, they did - somehow - make an exception for me. I visited a few times and loved it, it was like paradise to my 11-year-old self. I'm sure the guy running the place wanted us OUT, haha.
Next... This is going to sound super-nerdy, but upon doing very well in a spelling bee around February/March and winning... A $200 gift card to... Circuit City! Yes, upon a winning that gift card, what do I buy? Retro game collections!
I believe I got NAMCO MUSEUM and MIDWAY ARCADE TREASURES on one of the shopping trips, in addition to the GameBoy version of NAMCO MUSEUM, PAC-MAN COLLECTION, and KONAMI COLLECTOR'S SERIES: ARCADE ADVANCE.
I visit the website System 16 and KLOV (Killer List Of Video Games) quite frequently, too.
Also around this time, I get my hands on an Atari collection for the PC called ATARI ANNIVERSARY EDITION. I also receive a book called THE ULTIMATE HISTORY OF VIDEO GAMES by Steven L. Kent.
SUPER MARIO ADVANCE 2 is in regular rotation around this time.
Fall-Christmas 2004: For my birthday and Christmas, I get...
ATARI ANTHOLOGY for the XBOX, and another Jakks Pacific Namco collection, this time including MS. PAC-MAN, MAPPY, GALAGA, XEVIOUS, and POLE POSITION. I also get this fantastic coffee table book by Rusel DeMaria and Johnny L. Wilson:
I'll cap it off here, but this is where it peaks, and I'm all about these kinds of things from here on out.
#retro games#retro video games#light nostalgia#reminiscing#autistic#special interest#autism#neurodivergent#making my special interest INTO a special interest
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BONUS: Gen 1 Glitches & Rumors
Now what I’m about to say may shock readers with weaker dispositions, but it should be no shocker when I say that the original Pokemon Red and Blue games are horrendously prone to glitches and game-corrupting bugs. I don’t exactly blame the developers at Game Freak for the technical states of these games, they were trying to fit over 150 battle monsters, 15 different types, and a large, interconnected RPG world map all onto a tiny Game Boy cartridge, after all. But even then, it really isn’t hard to crack these games wide open, even unintentionally. You may just be playing normally and get stuck in an infinite stunlock with the right moves and worst RNG, you might find a way to exponentially inflate your damage numbers, hell you could even wrong warp to the end of the game if you happen to hit buttons in the right order.
Among the most enigmatic and confounding glitches though, were ones that seemed to spawn entirely new Pokemon in the game, or ones far outside the usual level capacities. Thanks to Pokemon’s extreme popularity with children during the height of Pokemon, its relative lack of documentation, and kids’ tendency to lie in order to sound cool, several rumors and myths were sure to crop up surrounding weird glitches and ‘secrets’ kids ended up discovering by sneezing on their cartridges the right way. It’s doubtful these kids had any idea how video game coding worked, so if they found some never-before-seen encounter in their games, what else are they gonna think but that they’ve found some new Pokemon they can brag to their friends about. I mean, with all this info and pictures some part of it has to be true, right?
Besides the one infamous case, though, there aren’t a whole lot of famous glitch Pokemon to actually talk about, so I decided to cover some other classic Gen 1 rumor ‘mons as well for old times’ sake. I mean, encountering glitch Pokemon kind of opens the door for any other sorts of rumors to potentially be plausible, at least in kids’ minds. That’s my excuse.
MissingNo. (and Friends)
MissingNo. is by far the most famous of any glitched Pokemon encounter you can find in the original Gen 1 games, since not only is it a fully unique creature, but also due to it being remarkably consistent when encountered. You’d think an entity produced by the random jumbling of code and errors would be more incoherent when inspected closely, but MissingNo. tends to be pretty much the same whenever it’s found in game.
MissingNo., a name standing for the term Missing Number, thanks to its lack of a proper registry index value, is the result of the random Pokemon encounter system trying to find a Pokemon to battle before any proper lists of wild Pokemon have been loaded yet. Most of the time, wild encounters can’t be triggered without a corresponding species list being loaded, but there is one single-tile wide column of water in one of the game’s areas that can be surfed on before moving into the next route’s defined area. Most of the time, this isn’t an issue, since the game will just use the last species list it has loaded. However, by revisiting a scripted encounter cutscene from earlier in the game, that list can be unloaded, and without a proper set of Pokemon to refer to, the game will glitch out and summon MissingNo.
As I said earlier, MissingNo. is remarkably consistent for a glitched Pokemon. Not only is it extremely easy to come across if you know how to activate the glitch, but it also always has the same data once caught. MissingNo. is apparently a Normal/Bird type, and always comes with 3 learned moves. Wait, Bird type? That ain’t right, everyone knows that should be FLYING type. It’s true that the Flying type started in development as being labelled as the Bird type, but considering Flying appears in the final game as it should I’m surprised there’s still data to refer back to for the earlier Bird state.
Speaking of those 3 moves, they’re always Water Gun and two instances of Sky Attack. Normally, Pokemon can’t learn two copies of the same move. But MissingNo. isn’t a normal Pokemon, so I guess it checks out. Even MissingNo.’s sprite will stay pretty much the same whenever it’s encountered, which is pretty incredible once you think about it. This isn’t a sprite saved anywhere on the cartridge, nor a messy amalgamation of other sprites from the game. Instead, it’s just a splattering of random miscolored pixels.
MissingNo. also appears in Pokemon Yellow, but due to that game’s different sprite sets and style, it appears in a far less recognizable and iconic form.
I’m somewhat surprised Game Freak have never done anything to acknowledge MissingNo. in an official game. I doubt it would ever be added as a controllable Pokemon of course, but even having references to it here and there in dialogue would be fun. Sadly, it seems like this ancient glitch is the last thing on their minds, which is a bit of a shame. Some weird glitchy entity like this hiding in the background of the game is definitely an idea I could see capitalized in other games, and even has been already to an extent with stuff like Gaster from Undertale. So, the spirit of MissingNo. lives on at least, kinda.
Oh yeah, MissingNo. can also be replaced by other glitch Pokemon which use these sprites. The first is the sprite used for Gastly and the Marowak ghost before a ghost-viewing scope is obtained (something never really used again in any Pokemon game), and the other two are used when viewing their exhibits in the Pewter City Museum. While each sprite is used in battle-like styles like the regular Pokemon sprites, they aren’t attached to any of the real Pokemon’s data, thus likely leaving these sprites floating around in the relevant battle data, and thus being easy pickings when a new glitch Pokemon needs an appearance to attach itself to.
While the usage of these sprites and their subject matter is completely coincidental, it is kind of ironic that the unused sprites are kind of more spooky and unnerving in nature, as finding a weird and data-corrupting monster like MissingNo. is sure to spook a kid who wasn’t expecting it.
As long as we’re on the topics of glitches, it also isn’t uncommon to encounter normal Pokemon like Clefable and Charizard, only at extremely high levels they shouldn’t normally be at like 154. Not as noteworthy, but still deserved a bit of a mention I’d say. Kids typically knew you could only get a Pokemon to level 100 normally, so having an even stronger one must meant something fishy was going on... like you were tampering with the power of GODS, naturally.
Pikablu
Before its official reveal, Pokemon fans across the nation would see this blue little mouse creature, and believe it to be some kind of watery counterpart to Pikachu, and title is as Pikablu. Of course, now we know this to be Marill, but in the ancient years of the late 1990s most Pokemon fans were not lucky enough to have access to a wide-open internet connection they could use to verify what a Pikablu was supposed to be. Some people even christened it a PokeGod due to a translation error claiming that a Raichu is still able to evolve in-game when it actually can’t. Instead, people believed Pikablu was a hidden evolution to Raichu that was only obtainable when either given a Water Stone, or when something stupidly specific is done, like capturing all Pokemon, getting half over level 80, and putting a specific one in the first slot of your party.
I mean, that last one has actually been used in a game since, but who’s counting really.
Why Raichu would evolve from an Electric type into a Water type that so clearly did NOT resemble it is beyond me, though.
Doomsay & Doomsday
Some more sinister PokeGods, though, are Doomsay and Doomsday, being apparent bringers of the apocalypse which shan’t ever be awakened lest they destroy the Pokemon world entirely. I mean, sure, okay. That was bound to terrify some younger players out there. It’s really funny looking at these in retrospect, though, because you can clearly tell these are sprites from other games just pasted over a Pokedex template. They don’t match the artstyle at all. But hey, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t kind of fall for it myself when I first saw them as a kid.
Doomsday has two different versions, for whatever reason. I think this one is much cooler as some ambiguous mystery monster, since I can barely tell what that sprite is even supposed to be. Is it some weird crab or insectoid type beast, with like a plated carapace and pincers? Beats me, but it looks kind of neat. The description makes it more tame than an apocalypse-bringer, which is better in my mind too, but the fact that it’s apparently 91 feet tall is just a bit too much for me. These rumor creators ought to be more REALISTIC.
Apacolypse
Apparently not content with two (or three) world-destroying PokeGods, Apacolypse (distinctly misspelled) too would join the fray. Despite being called a gargoyle, it seems to have electrical powers too. I wouldn’t be surprised if this too was a stolen sprite from a more obscure RPG. At least Doomsday 2 tried to match the Pokemon style, somewhat. This guy’s not even trying!
Venustoise
A product of the early anime, one episode had Ash and the gang confronting a particularly mischevious Gastly who used illusions to scare people off from its hiding spot for fun. Part of this involved summoning a fake Blastoise and Venusaur which then preform a fusion dance before becoming an enlarged Venustoise, as it were. Despite, y’know, clearly being an illusion within the confines of the story, several Pokemon fans and young viewers utterly convinced themselves that Venustoise was a real PokeGod too that they could obtain somehow and use to obliterate their friends at the playground. You just know rumors about this thing had to involve extensive Elite Four grind sessions involving several dozen victory streaks and more. How kids had patience for this I’ll never know. Several other Anime-original designs and forms were considering potential PokeGods too, like the crystal Onix, but none seems as noteworthy to me as Venustoise.
It’s funny considering that Pokemon fusion, too, would become a feature in the main games like the obscure methods of unlocking hidden Pokemon. Only, fusion has been exclusive to a handful of Legendary Pokemon who can do such for story purposes. Sadly it is still impossible for Venusaur and Blastoise to become one, so Venustoise shall continue to remain out of players’ grips... for now.
Seems like the anime couldn’t help itself, though, since another fusion between Rayquaza and Mismagius would turn up in a later episode as well, also being a ghostly apparition rather than a real thing. Apparently people learned their lesson, though, since this one never took off like Venustoise did.
Uh...
Okay so. Bear with me. I’m definitely stretching the subject matter of this article here but. Look at this thing. It comes from Pokemon Pocket Monsters, the first manga adaptation of Pokemon and something which was clearly made alongside the games’ development and without clear directing or supervising since its art direction is. All over the place. I doubt the artist for this manga had any reference material to go off of besides the sprites because like, look at this.
Anyways, the thing I started this article with is so unusual since it hardly resembles ANYTHING from the first generation, let alone Pokemon as a whole. I really doubt there was any kid in America in the late 90s which told their friends that if you tried really hard, you could catch one of them, but damn it I still wanted to mention this thing. It’s so WEIRD.
It’s been mentioned that this thing could be a Diglett which was horribly misinterpreted from the original sprite and like... I guess that works?? I don’t have any better explanation in mind so. Sure. The terrifying, tentacled Diglett is a PokeGod too. Why not. Who’s gonna stop me. I just don’t get why it makes the WORST expressions. Who let this thing run free in the ecosystem.
Flareth
Next up is- hey wait. That’s just Ridley. That’s just Ridley’s artwork from Super Metroid but bitcrushed to hell.
I bet whoever put this together in 1999 felt real clever about what they did. Well, guess what buddy, here I am in 2023 proving that your little facade here was nothing more than a farcical RUSE. Surely this is as transparently fake as these rumors come, right? Surely no one could fall for something even more obviously false than this.
Yoshi
Well. Uh. Hm. I stand corrected. Because as it turns out, several people recall genuinely having fallen for this little prank, despite, y’know, the obvious warning signs. Not only is Yoshi being advertised as being available in Pokemon, but also as a supposed evolution of Dragonite, somehow being number 999 in the Pokedex, but also that it’s still called Dragonite for some reason! Rather unsurprisingly, this comes from the April edition of an old gaming magazine, and is credited as being written by a... J. Ester. Uhhuh. I mean, considering how closely the steps outlining the process resemble those told by actual kids on how to unlock several other supposed secrets in the game, I guess I can’t blame kids too much for falling for it. Just a little bit, though. Imagine how using Yoshi would go in-game. Do you think he gets any unique moves? Does he act any differently than a normal Dragonite? He’s still a Dragon/Flying type, for whatever reason.
That HAS to be the most outlandish rumor among them, though, right? You can’t get more blatantly unreasonable than Yoshi.
Luigi
...
[Gen 1 Archive]
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This Week’s Horrible-Scopes
It’s time for this week’s Horrible-Scopes! So for those of you that know your Astrological Signs, cool! If not, just pick one, roll a D12, or just make it up as you go along. It really doesn’t matter. Better yet! Check out “Heart of the Game, Fredonia” and see if they can sell you those D12’s with the symbols on them. Tell them “Shujin Tribble” sentcha. And “Hail, Hail, Fredonia!” Home of the Blue Devil!
With the release of new Atari 2600 game consoles that will accept and play the old game cartridges, we’re randomly selecting the old games for you. From COMBAT to KLAX let’s see what 8-Bit Monster you get to play this week.
Aries
You get Shrodinger’s Game: it’s both alive and not at the same time. The game is “Motorcycle” - Game Code CX26141, and it was never released. Which is, of course, totally On Brand for you. You’re on the list, but almost never seen. This week… don’t be late to your job’s staff meeting… YOU WORK FROM HOME!
Taurus
Now we’re talking! Your game is “Breakout” - Game Code CX2622. This isn’t the most fun game in the world, seeing as how you have to trade out the joystick for the paddle controller. But it’s still fun… or it WAS fun. We’re about to ruin it and all other clones of the game by telling you that This Week… “Breakout” is just Single-Player Video Ping-Pong. Just accept that you can’t beat it.
Gemini
Your game doesn’t have very high stakes. Matter of fact there’s nothing except Trial and Error to… Well, “win” sounds like the wrong word for it. Game Code CX2627 brings us to “Human Cannonball”. A premise so simple it’s a wonder the game sold at all after we learned what it was. Big gun… tilt up… set power… launch your little dude into a water tank. Easy, right? Yup. Easy and boring. This week… find a way to make all your mind-numbing activities more fun..
Cancer Moon-Child
He’s been in an Arcade Video Game, a cartoon, and now he’s on your home television screen! It’s Game Code CX26123 - “Jr. Pac-Man”. Let’s be clear here, it’s not “Pac-Man Junior”, it’s “Junior Pac-Man”. Likely this had something to do with marketing or licensing, but the game was still there. And the best thing we can say about it is… It Wasn’t the 2600 version of Pac-Man! This week… you’ll exceed expectations by just being YOU. Don’t try to win harder!
Leo
Making its way from the Arcade to your home, it’s one of the most challenging vector graphics game ever. Game Code CX2685 is “Gravitar”! Not only do you have to battle enemy spaceships as you try to select the level you want to enter, but you get to clear asteroids of gun placements while picking up fuel from the surface. It’s a tough game, no lie. But it’s a fun premise! This week… there’s going to be Black ice on the road. Don’t slam into the ground!
Virgo
Oh, now this gets to be more fun. Game Code CX26176 is called “Radar Lock”. Released in 1989, over a DECADE after the console was originally released, it’s all the grit and air-flight dogfighting of Top Gun without the F-14’s sexy profile. And any suggestion that it’s simply a clone of the Sega game “Afterburner” are not to be believed. This week… make your work easier by using something you worked on before. Assuming you’re a programmer, otherwise that’s just not helpful at all.
Libra
This one hurts a lot. Your game earned the ominous distinction of being 'the arcade game with the most ways to die'. Atari Game Code CX26147 is the unreleased hit game “Frogger”. And before anyone does the, “Uhm, But, Aktually…” thing, Yes! There WAS an Atari2600 game cartridge released by Parker Brothers, but NOT by Atari itself. Over the years there have been clones, spin-offs, re-issues, a cartoon series, mentions in popular culture, and even an ad campaign encouraging people to use safe transportation in cities. This week… you’re a classic, you’re adored, and you’re special. Don’t worry that you haven’t done enough.
Scorpio
Imagine you’re stuck in an almost round race track with three sections you can drive on to pick up points like you’re Pac-Man. Now imagine there’s another car trying to do the exact same thing, only in the opposite direction, trying to crash into your car to stop you. Welcome to “Dodge 'Em”, Game Code CX2637. You can play against the computer or another player, but you have to plan ahead and remember which way to tap the joystick to change lanes. This week… you are NOT a NASCAR driver. Stop trying to only make Left Turns.
Sagittarius
You are Secret Agent 17, trying to make your way through a 30-story building alive. Doors will open, letting out enemy agents to shoot you dead… BUT! You can avoid them by using some tricky door work. Welcome to the world of “Elevator Action”, Game Code CX26126. The sad part about this Arcade to Console port was that it was killed before it could be sold. Which might be all for the best. We didn’t need another Pac-Man sprite horror on our TVs. This Week… Look up why pressing the elevator door close button doesn’t work.
Capricorn
Your game is one of absolute LEGEND! Game Code CX2671 has a very special place in the history of video games. “Swordquest: Waterworld” was only available via Mail Order and like its sibling games came with a comic book and a contest! Beat the game, send in the codes, and you could win the "Crown of Life"! A solid gold crown decorated with diamonds, rubies, sapphires, and aquamarines valued at $25,000 USD in 1984, meaning almost $75,000 today! This week… your value is not something to be trifled with. Stand up for yourself, damnit!
Aquarius
Not much to say about your game. Code CX26158 is the unreleased “Surround II”. It’s the precursor to “Snake” on the Nokia. Not much to explain, really. So this week… buy a new Nokia 3310… YES, they’ve brought it back! And just to be kind, buy the safety case for it so when you drop it you don’t break any concrete floors.
Pisces
You get both a great game and a disappointing one. Game Code CX2650 is the home console port of the amazingly fun arcade game “Berzerk”; a game you play with two joysticks in the arcade but only one at home. And the smiling yellow ball, “Otto”? Yeah, it looks like crap on the TV. And there’s no voice taunting. So this week… Look up what Otto looks like, and imagine that it’s the Evil Twin of Wilson from “Cast Away”.
And THOSE are your Horrible-Scopes for this week! Remember if you liked what you got, we’re obviously not working hard enough at these. BUT! If you want a better or nastier one for your own sign or someone else’s, all you need to do to bribe me is just Let Me Know! These will be posted online at the end of each week via Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, Discord and BLUESKY.
#parody#horrorscope#funny#horoscope#humor#comedy#atari#atari 2600#atari2600#have you played atari today#console#video games#retro gaming
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pokemon stadium japan introduction & THE TEAM pt 1
THE POKEMON STADIUM (JAPAN) LV1-30 TEAM!!!!!!!
after some time of teasing this here is the formal introduction to the team. as i've said the japanese pokemon cartridges i own are red and silver, this is relevant as it's how i was able to trade for alakazam
for a little more preamble, let's talk a little more about pokemon stadium japan. basically, the game has two major cups, one at level 30 and the other at level 50-55. there are 40 available pokemon in the game. basically one day i theorycrafted the team and eventually i made that. so my entire playthrough of both red and silver were intentionally leading up to this moment
THE TEAM
for the sake of this being for pokemon stadium here's the team in pokemon stadium japan (only notable color fuckness is with exeggutor sadly)
and now on pocket monsters red (as seen in the ingame pokemon stadium japan emulator)
one very important thing to note is that these names have two meanings - one is that i literally chose the names solely to differentiate between them at a glance by making them memorably connected to the pokemon in question. they don't intentionally have names so much as symbolism reflecting what they are. but anyway this is all in japanese kana and to disrespect the language slightly less let's figure out what their names are after you transliterate them
PIKACHU (i dont even think i renamed it idk) it's literally just here because apparently if you beat master ball in LV 1-30 you get to teach the pikachu surf if it's in your team
STARMIE
name meaning: it's supposed to kinda resemble a starmie, with points on either end and a bezel thing with the eye inside.
actual name: re-e-wa-e-re, Rewaere
my impression: kinda like 'Rareware' if you squint
ALAKAZAM
name meaning: it's literally just the first thing i saw five times bc it kinda looked like alakazam's big moustached face
actual name: ho-ho-ho-ho-ho, Hohohohoho
my impression: the sniler
EXEGGUTOR
name meaning: it's supposed to be four eggs sitting next to a tree i guess
actual name: ro-ro-ro-ro-ru, Rororororu
my impression: this is literally a zelda name
TAUROS
name meaning: it's supposed to be the face of a bull, with two horns, the 'no's for eyes and a big honkin nose
actual name: na-no-mu-no-na, Nanomunona
my impression: kinda sounds like it could be a regular name for a thing? idk
LAPRAS
name meaning: it's supposed to look like both a pool of water and a whale, but this effect is lost outside of the game boy setting as the font resolution makes it look less like anything
actual name: to-he-ko-ni-n, Tohekonin
my impression: this probably sounds the most convincingly like it could have been an actual name for a thing
note that i am not doing any kind of research into what words these might make and other such implications of the japanese language as my primary point here is to explain why the names are so weird like that & satisfy my own curiosity as to what they actually mean
all their moves as depicted inside the game's pokemon management options (assuming you can read japanese to know what moves these are)
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SCC Halloween Week: K_Kreature Feature
Gently shaking the tape a couple of times to coerce it out of its cardboard sleeve, K_K loaded it up to play. They loved the sounds the shop's old VCR made as it performed its duties, the heavy clunk of the cartridge slotting into its cradle, the loud whirring as the mechanics spooled the tape and stretched it through the device's internals, the subtle clicking and faint hum as the television screen lit up, first with static and then video, the player taking those first few seconds to automatically adjust the tracking to ensure the picture didn't tear. The movie hadn't even started yet, and it was already a feast for the eyes and auditory sensors.
If only K_K wasn't watching alone.
The CD player didn't usually watch movies by themself. Sweet sometimes indulged, enjoying the flashy action sequences almost as much as the popcorn he made to go along with it. But, far more often, Cap'n would sit there with them, the screen reflecting in his shades as his gaze never left it once. The stories, the cinematography, the acting -- he enjoyed it all, and sometimes K_K wondered if he hadn't become a musician with the other two, if someday he might've ended up on the silver screen himself, or at least behind the camera.
But this time of year, K_K usually watched movies alone, Sweet and Cap'n busy elsewhere, doing whatever they could to avoid watching. When K_K pulled out the ones with bloody knives and twisted monsters on the covers, the screams echoing through the shop, it was all the signal for them to scram, leaving K_K the sole participant in this particular holiday ritual.
Jumping as the sound of a revving chainsaw shook K_K out of their thoughts, they realized they'd missed the entire introduction, and that the movie had already started on the grisly stuff. Sighing, and hitting Rewind -- sometimes it was nice to get right to the action, but it was practically a crime to skip the setup when it came to horror movies, even one they'd seen hundreds of times! -- they looked around the shop as they waited, wondering what the others were up to, the things they were doing as an excuse not to join them. Sweet likely had their music turned up loud, to drown out the screaming as they worked, and Cap'n…probably wasn't even in the shop anymore at all, taking a quiet stroll out in the foggy Cyber Field. A sudden clunk let K_K know the VCR had finished, and so they hit Play again, this time straining to pay attention.
But, of course, it was difficult when there were so many thoughts spinning like a CD in his head, that loneliness making his circuits buzz anxiously. Horror was fun, and K_K didn't understand why he was the only one brave enough to enjoy it! Maybe all his bandmates needed was a little encouragement…
"Come on, you gotta do at least one!"
Sweet stared up at the CD player, at that hopeful sparkle in their eyes. "Okay. But only if Cap'n watches it too!"
"Hey, I'm game for baby movies any day!" Blinking, Cap'n caught himself. "I mean, only so you'll be brave enough to watch 'em, Sweet."
"Yeah, yeah." Rolling his eye, Sweet faintly added a low, staticky "Coward" as he followed K_K to the couch, where a stack of pillows and a freshly-popped bowl of caramel corn waited. It had taken some convincing, but with the promise that this movie wouldn't be one of the ones with all the blood, and that K_K would be right there if he needed someone to hide behind, the speaker finally agreed to one scary movie, solely in the spirit of the season. And so had Cap'n, though it surprisingly hadn't taken as much effort to get him onto the couch -- the boombox hid his reluctance well, with excuses about feeling cramped up and wanting a little fresh air, but K_K opened a window for him as they loaded up the tape and hit Play.
He facepalmed, as the title came up. "Oh K_K, you gotta be kiddin'!"
They just smiled, grabbing a handful of Sweet's popcorn before he could jealously pull the bowl away. "This one's one of my favorites!"
"Well, that means it's gotta be good," Sweet remarked, tucking the popcorn bowl under their arm well out of K_K's reach, lest they sneak any more. Granted, Attack of the Killer Raspberries wouldn't have been Sweet's first choice even if they were as much a horror fan as their taller bandmate, but at least it guaranteed that any chunky red-colored liquids they saw wouldn't make them feel woozy.
He turned to face K_K, as they tapped his shoulder. "Hm?"
"What?"
"Why'd you tap me?"
"Oh, I didn't. Must've been the shop ghost." Accepting their answer, given that they still had yet to solve that particular problem, Sweet once again turned back to the screen, completely unaware of a long arm stretching all the way behind the couch, and the green hand at its end snatching more of his caramel corn.
"Yo!" Cap'n shivered, his circuits stiff. "That…that's juice, right? Tell me it's just the monsters that are bleedin'."
"You scared already, Cap?" Sweet teased him, petrified.
"No! I'm just…uh…worried, that they're wastin' all the gruesome stuff too early! All the good movies keep you in suspense 'til the end!"
The initial attack died down, as onscreen the characters regrouped to decide what to do about the vicious creatures hunting them, and Sweet sighed in relief, snuggling into a heavy blanket K_K had dragged in from their bed. But the lull in the action didn't last long, and he was the first to leap into K_K's side as the fruits slew their next victim, popcorn flying as he yanked their arm out of the bowl to wrap around him instead.
"Sweet, it's okay," K_K cooed, pulling that blanket tighter -- neither Sweet nor Cap'n liked to admit it, but jumpscares never failed to get them. "There's no raspberries here. And definitely not any with teeth!"
"G-Good…" They still held K_K that much tighter, their eye closed shut to block out the splashes of raspberry juice. Soon enough, they felt another set of arms wrap around K_K's skinny waist, making for an impromptu game of tug-of-war as Cap'n tried to claim them for himself. "Cap…"
"Sweet." Shooting him a warning glare, Cap'n suddenly pushed deeper into the couch behind K_K as another victim shrieked in terror, with them wrapping their other arm tight to block out the sound. "I'm not scared. I'm not!"
"I believe you." Giggling, K_K fetched another blanket for Cap'n, letting him throw it over his head as needed as he snuggled into the safety of the CD player's lap. K_K didn't mind, letting him and Sweet stay as close to them as they needed, in fact guiltily relishing the experience, in a way. It wasn't every day they got the chance to hold them so close…
But, the chance didn't last nearly as long as K_K would've liked, as the final credits rolled, and they carefully stopped and rewound the tape with their foot, with Cap'n and Sweet still unwilling to free either of their arms. "Okay, maybe that one was pretty bad…"
"I'm never gonna eat raspberries again as long as I'm active…" At some point Sweet had shifted onto K_K's lap as well, sitting up and burying his speaker into their shoulder, and letting Cap'n use the corner of their blanket to hide himself even more. It was a sight K_K couldn't help but laugh at. "But…we made it! You can, uh, let go of me now, Cap'n."
"No."
"No?" Smirking, Sweet nudged him. "This one really got you, huh?"
"No!" Cap'n peered up at his bandmates from between the blankets, his face glowing bright blue. "I…I just…It wasn't…There was so much…raspberry jelly…"
"You guys wanna watch another one?" Smiling innocently, K_K held up their copy of Blood Bath III: The Slaughtering.
"No!!"
#deltarune#sweet cap'n cakes#deltarune sweet#deltarune cap'n#deltarune k_k#scc halloween week#emwrites
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I’m here to post shit and have fun!
In honor of Halloween! Here’s some stories to have fun with!
Anime: One Piece
Character: Penguin
Monster: Hobgoblin (more specifically- a Brownie)
Warnings: asthma attack.
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A brownie is a Hobgoblin from Scottish folklore that is said to come out at night while the owners of the house are asleep and perform various chores and farming tasks
“Fuck, not again…”
You cursed to yourself, it was the third time today that you’d have to look for your phone and it didn’t want to appear as always.
It always happened.
“I swear, the hooligans are pulling on my leg lately…” you mumbled, trying to grab your phone from underneath the sofa.
You were no stranger of strange occurrences, but you certainly wished that for a moment things would just be normal.
You were familiar with Kappa’s trying to convince your Neighbour’s kid into swimming with them- to which you had to bow your way out of danger and make sure the kid was doing the same in order to escape.
A few days after that- you had encountered a black dog with fangs and a dark miasma being emitted from him- only for you to go and scratch the creature’s ear and have him turn to putty in your hands. The big dog would lounge around your yard and came and went as it pleased.
But now? Dealing with troublemakers? It’s isn’t bad, just annoying.
You couldn’t find your things on time and they just seemed to thrive on watching you suffer.
For example- tonight they had the great idea of hiding your asthma inhaler.
You were getting a little irked cause you couldn’t find your replacement inhaler either. The attack was coming and you getting excited like this wasn’t helping.
After a few more sprints across the house trying to reach for the inhaler that was making sounds in several different parts of your house- you fell to your knees coughing.
Your eyes were starting to water when you felt your lungs constrict.
Then came the gasping.
Your phone wasn’t close enough for you to crawl to it and you still didn’t know where your inhaler was as you kept trying to breathe and felt like if someone was strangling you.
Your eyes closed in order to try and ride this attack but to no avail. You prepared for the worst until you felt something being pushed into your mouth and was told to inhale.
Once you heard the push and swoosh of what you believe was the medicine cartridge, you inhaled. You did this two more times and finally felt like you could breathe again as long as nothing made you excitable.
“There we go, Miss. Note to self- inhaler is off limits.”
“Agreed!” You wheezed. Before you could turn your face to see your new housemate- they left.
“My names Penguin, Miss (L/N). Nice to formally meet you.” You heard around the house, hushed to the outside but loud to you.
“What are you?”
“A friend. Now- you gotta take that inhaler in three hours as directed. Your lungs are too weak to be without it. Your phone is in the kitchen counter and there’s soup on the stove. I hope you like chicken.”
This puzzled you.
“Why help me?”
“Why not?”
The chuckle that reverberated across the house, after a few minutes you stood up and saw one particular detail you haven’t noticed yet.
For the past 4 weeks you’ve been working overtime and never cleaned- and the house was always sparkling and fresh. Ever since you left out a cup of cream and other goodies at night one time you came home drunk. You thought you dreamt the ordeal until you saw said thing disappeared.
“Wait…I’ve heard of your kind. You’re a Brownie.” You whispered, earning a laugh from the walls. “You won’t turn into a Boggart, right?”
“None of the sort. Think of me as your Housekeeping Hobgoblin.”
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I am planning on making quirks that represent typical school cliques so I will be asking a couple quirks( not in the same post but as a series) These are for the musician/rocker, the geek, the punk/criminal, the goth, the stoner, and the cheer leader.
Quirk: electric guitar-the user forms electricity with the same shape, length, and weigh as a guitar. The guitar has the same voltage as a taser and the same loudness as an electric guitar. The user can strum the strings as normal. The user has a built in electrical and sound resistance. The true power comes from destroying it. By guitar smashing it, it becomes a wave of sound and electricity greatly disorienting enemies. Though this does completely destroy the guitar. The user also suffers slight recoil such as ringing ears and a slight muscle twitch. The user can only create - insert appropriate number here- per day with creating too many results in external exhaustion/ tiredness and needing lots of rest and electrolyte replenishing.
Quirk: dragon summon- user can summon 6 dragons with sharp claws, teeth, can fly, and breathe fire. The dragons are the same size as a pencil and their flame has the same range and heat level as a lighter. 6 is possibly too many so I’ll leave it up to you to make the appropriate number though I would like it to be at least 2 minimum. This represents geek because they are stereotypically into summoning monsters and mythical creatures. I was originally going to make it summon other things like a Minotaur, unicorn, and phoenix but I think that would be too strong. This quirk is already pushing it on the OP level
Quirk: pray paint- user can spray a paint like substance from their pointer finger with the same range as a spray can. It can be any color including glow in the dark. The paint will cause irritation if breathed in or got in someone’s eyes though no lasting damage unless someone constantly got it in them. The paint also tastes bad like one of those game cartridges to prevent babies from eating them. It is somewhat hard to wash off a person( same level as a permanent marker) but on inanimate objects it’s permanent. Weaknesses- no reliable damage. User has a limited resistance to it.
Ghost companion- user has a small ghost friend that is completely intangible, can go invisible, levitate, and has a telepathic connection to the user. Weaknesses- due to being completely intangible, the ghost can’t physically do anything. So no pushing things over, picking up objects, or hitting someone. Essentially this quirk is only good for scouting and always having a friend. Quirk- marijuana ( best I could come up with). Basically just sloshed but instead of making people drunk it makes them high/ tripping out
Finally is the cheerleader. Pep-talk: when the user gives a genuine complement like “your hair looks nice” or “hey I believe in you” the persons strength, stamina, fatigue, and durability is increased with the more nice/ pepped up the better results. They cannot use it on themselves and using it on multiple people at once divides up the boost. Basically it’s incite but isn’t dependent on if the people believe them to be a worthy leader or not.
I'm just going to do all of these together since they all fit this theme and there really isn't a lot to say about them on there own.
I really don't think any of these can work. "Electric Guitar" doesn't have a strong central idea to make a Quirk around, "Dragon Summon" seems way too weak with how small and few they can make, "Ghost Companion" is way too powerful with how good it can scout around, "Marijuana" has so little details that there isn't much to comment on, and "Pep-Talk" is just a slightly different versions of "Incite". The only exception to this is "Spay Paint", which could work as a civilian type Quirk, like what I did with "Spray Hands", but that is about it.
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i’m running low on weed and my period is coming soon
feeling like a monster
trying to conserve my last vape cartridge with everything in me
i have to come up with $45 asap but that sounds impossible u_u
I don’t have the equipment necessary to make high quality content and i also don’t have the physical ability to masturbate in different positions for extended periods of time and i also like don’t watch porn so idk what people want to see but i’m just trying to force myself to figure it out anyway
the online sex work scene is so saturated and i am barely cut out for the job anyway, and it’s a rough time to be unable to work any jobs other than sex work rn too.
plus my self esteem is a mess along with body dysmorphia and just generally not being used to seeing my body naked anymore it’s hard to feel sexy or desirable ever.
just trying to push through these obstacles
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Ah that ask reminded me of all the times my brother and I accidentally erased each other's files in Final Fantasy Legends 2. It wasn't mean about it, it just was we were young/the games were strange. Ah, Nostalgia.
For context, Final fantasy legends was how the games localized the original SaGa games. Which were strange games that didn't follow a traditional leveling route, and often was a little weird. Being Game Boy Games the menus were a bit odd and it was easy to just save over someone else's file by mistake.
FFL2's main memorable moment involves censorship. Long story short, the game had to change the name of a item, and we were left with a story about how bananas were ruining society, banana boats, banana smuggling, and monster trying to fill the town with all sorts of evil bananas. In its censorship, it just made the entire segment 500X more memorable, and I can no longer just take bananas seriously as a concept.
omg how have i never heard of this game it sounds so quirky for so many reasons
i feel like there’s another game out there that had similar save issues, but i think that was more based on the code rather than menus
or wait maybe it was a game that erased other game save files? like if the save files were on media or whatever outside of the game disk/cartridge?
maybe i just dreamed it
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[Review] Sin & Punishment (N64)
A cool, hip, and experimental rail shooter.
Lylat Wars is easily one of my favourite N64 games. Another well-regarded entry in the rail shooter genre on that console is Treasure’s Sin & Punishment: Successor of the Earth/Stars aka Glass Soldier, a cult classic Japan exclusive. Until the Wii Virtual Console that is, where it was given an international distribution and the menus were newly translated (the game's spoken dialogue was already in English). Then came the Wii U Virtual Console release with new controller remapping features (essential for this game if you ask me) and savestate support, and that's how I played it.
It's an unusual sort of rail shooter as it has platforming elements, and a stop-start pace akin to gallery shooters. One level even plays out like a sidescroller! Your character is on foot and for the most part advances automatically but can strafe side to side. The control scheme is actually pretty complex, not helped by playing it on a controller other than its native release, and fumbling with it cost me a few cheap deaths. The ideas are sound but it feels like it demands a lot of practice and mastery, even on Easy difficulty. Thankfully checkpoints and credits are generously handed out, so even without savestates it's doable.
Your analogue stick controls the cursor, while C-Left/Right strafes/rolls, shoulders jump. The Z button is the all-important shoot function, a rapid-fire stream of projectiles. Holding it down makes for easy DPS but tapping it at the right moments instead does a sword strike for bigger damage and the ability to reflect projectiles back, which is a necessity for certain fights. The A button toggles between free fire and a lock-on reticle that isn't as useful as it sounds, but has its moments.
At this point I'd like to explain the story... but the truth is it's nigh-incomprehensible. Presumably the manual set up the premise somewhat, but in this release we're dumped into the post-apocalypse in medias res, in the unthinkable future year of 2007. What follows is a torrent of superpowered moody anime teens blasting monsters, soldiers, and robots, flatly delivering dialogue about saving the world and the conflict between various proper nouns. The genetic mutants are called Ruffians with a straight face, and the main character Saki soon turns into a kaiju himself, at which point sidekick Airan takes over as playable.
After blasting away an entire armada single-handed while floating on a telekinetically levitated slab of scrap, she enters a vision of the yet more unthinkable future of 2017, meets her own son, and manages to contact spiky-haired Protag-kun sufficient to revert him to semi-human form. Airan, sadly, quickly becomes helpless and Saki takes the reigns, blasts some fools, and eventually blows up a mock Earth which is trying to supplant our Earth. I think it's a metaphor. Anyway your friend the magic god lady turns out to be an alien or something who engineered the whole thing as a test of the powers bestowed on you by her magic blood... I think. So yeah, it's a big pile of anime tropes, poorly-explained sci-fi wackiness, and nonsensical twists, but as an excuse for some cool setpieces and visuals it's perfectly serviceable.
The setting is presented in a cool way within the N64's polygon limitations. There's good use of colour and the shifts in perspective from level to level keep things fresh. The English dialogue however was probably an afterthought for the Japanese audience, and for a native speaker it's flat and stilted, not to mention tinny from cartridge compression. At times they apply mechanical filters and it becomes genuinely difficult to make out. Certainly leagues below Conker's Bad Fur Day, the gold standard for voice production on N64.
In most ways for an N64 it's genuinely impressive, and experiments in some interesting ways. I don't think it quite comes together well enough to best the purity of Lylat Wars, but they can coexist comfortably. The fact that you can save and jump into completed chapters makes it approachable, and there's little penalty as you don't have any resources to expend apart from credits to continue after a death. No resources does mean there's no helping you out of a pinch though; instead you just have to learn the patterns and get better at reacting. Overall for Treasure I think it's much more successful than Wario World, even if it's trying to fit 10 pounds of story into a 5-pound story bag.
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1 - The Underflesh
It was cold. It was very, very cold.
Each gentle snowflake drifting down from the clouded sky carried with it some of that cold. Cold that clumped together, thick and frozen, all across the long dead ground. A blanket, smothering whatever life might have grown out from under it.
Not the trees though. The trees still stood tall, their pines as evergreen as ever there was green, for the cold could not touch them. Not in any way that mattered.
The cold did affect the dozen deer that trudged along the snowfields. Not as harshly as it would affect furless creatures, but the chill did drive their coats to grow thicker, darker, more suited for the weather. No one ever asked if a deer was cold, but would a deer even think to complain of it? It was a curious question to consider while watching the ungulates move along through the scope of a rifle.
Ungulate. What a word. Three syllables, each carrying with them a strange cadence. Un-, meaning not or unlike; then gu-, a gelatinous sound at best; and finally late, arriving as it always did. Unless it was “lately”, then it came first.
There were probably more words were late came early, but not in ungulate, which sounded so much like undulate that the coincidence had to be considered, if it even was one. Ungulate, undulate. Just one letter off, and what a difference that letter meant.
Du- instead of gu-, signifying a wave instead of a hoof, if the hunter remembered that lesson right. It was difficult to keep track, veering every so often. She’d been tracking this herd for a week now, because she knew that ungulate and undulate were far too close together.
For example, the flesh of the ungulate trailing behind the herd just so happened to undulate just as she was considering that exact difference. Maybe it was just the fur. Deer had hollow fur, didn’t they? For insulation. Something could have gotten in there, couldn’t it? Slipped right into the space they left. But that wouldn’t change the circumstances, now would it?
Through the scope of her rifle, she watched the straggler make its way closer. The twitching in its limbs became clearer. Steps that shouldn’t have let it walk properly still landed with a precision it should not have. Its breath was ragged, steaming into the air at an inconsistent pace as its lungs attempted to fulfill demand it no longer needed.
Wolfsbane was the name of the rifle. The brand, not the gun itself. Naming a gun created undue attachment. It was enough that it was hers. And it could still kill whatever the deer-thing was.
The sound of the shot echoed after the bullet had already ripped through the twitching deer’s chest and out the other side in a spray of blood, bone, and strips of blackened flesh. A gasp like relief sounded out as the carcass collapsed, blackened and oozing.
The second bullet caught the doe nearest to the first “deer” just slightly off the mark as it turned and howled, its jaw ripping open in a warning cry to the rest. Two cartridges hit the snow as the third bullet fired, hit, and ripped straight through.
It was important to shoot the runners first. The false does would try to escape while the false bucks would charge instead, aiming their antlers that looked so much more like tree brambles up close towards whatever threat approached. That made them easier targets, because they didn’t matter in the end; even for monsters, there was a desire to continue to propagate. The things pretending to be deer though, with their black fangs and gaps behind their eyes, were particularly annoying for that trait. If even one made it to a new herd, the whole thing would collapse as the stags and does were converted and the fawns were eaten. It would be worse if they made it to a village.
In the back of her mind, as she fired again and again, Bonnie Mercadi remembered a story she’d been told. One about a man who caught a deer in the woods. A lucky shot, one he almost thought he missed at first, but the hole was there for evidence, so he brought it home. And the thing under the flesh burrowed into his horse’s back as he carried it, then found its way into the bellies of his hungry family.
She didn’t care to remember every detail, but the ending line, “and so they ate their fill”, still stuck with her in a strange way as the buck in the lead tore its own face open in a screaming maw of black teeth and pulsating flesh. Undulating…
One more rifle bullet ripped through its head in scattered gore as her hand went to the revolver at her hip and drew it in one swift motion. Beastbane, general purpose, with more than enough bullets to kill anything that moved, or so the slogan went.
It took one bullet to pierce through the next monster’s head, but the third took two and that let the fourth get close enough that Bonnie pulled her knife.
Its antlers were like hands, reaching, grasping, trying to tear as she braced, keeping anything vulnerable away from the gnashing maw in front of her. A fourth shot was nowhere near the head, but it did get a branch to fall, crashing on the beast’s back before it could stab its stretching antlers into her sides. A bullet blew through its teeth and it started to choke before the second went through its heart.
One more for a second heart, the final for a third. The last, she took her knife and stabbed in, past the mouths that opened in one last gasp. Though, not a gasp, there was no breath, it was just one more attempt to eat. To bite down and rip.
But it needed to be done. An animal would die without its head. A monster would live with only its heart.
Black blood oozed into the snow in the points between life and dust. A pierced heart spurted blood, thick and dark, staining the snow. Yet it was a temporary stain, barely worth mentioning, as the falling snow covered what was once there, and Bonnie Mercadi in her deep black coat moved about the field, gathering what remained. Jewels, glittering black in the white field.
The snow would bury the scraps left. The cold ate its fill.
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Text
You Just Have To Wait
Pairing: Stucky (Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes) x Female Reader [First Person Narrator]
Word Count: 7.4K
Summary: The love between your monster boyfriends and you is strong. And, sometimes, that means you can’t keep your hands off each other. That doesn’t mean it always works out in your favor, though.
Warnings: Monster AU (Naga Bucky and Minotaur Steve, Monsters x Human Romance/Smut, includes Monster Cocks), 5+1 Structure, Very Little Plot, Cursing, Idiots in Love, Drunkenness, Mild Injury (some blood, but nothing major), Making Out/Heavy Petting (includes Scratching, Nipping/Nibbling/Biting, one scene happens at work) and Smut (Vaginal Fingering, Cunnilingus, Blow Job, Slight Overstimulation, (Unprotected) Vaginal Sex (including Double Vaginal Penetration)). Minors do not interact (18+).
A/N: Part 2 for It’s A Game of Give and Take—with all the fun stuff. (Which I’m actually really nervous about, please be gentle.) This is my own little monster universe that I’ve created and I hope you enjoy it.
I love feedback, so go ahead and reblog if you want. No permission given to copy, translate, rewrite or post my work, at all. I cross-post to my own AO3 account.
Title from “Can’t Hurry Love” by The Supremes
This is not Beta’d, so all mistakes are my own.
Enjoy!
Tagging: @kleohoneyao3 @slothspaghettiwrites @kim-monsterlings @lavendercitizen @princesssterek
Please DO NOT click ‘Keep Reading’ if you are not 18+ years of age, thank you!
It starts with a text message from Steve. I’m sitting in my drab little cubicle, the minutes slogging by. My phone twitters, eyes flashing to read the text preview, “Come to the supply closet down the hall.” It takes me a moment to debate whether I should—my lunch break looming closer and a daunting pile of paperwork to work through.
But then he sends, “It’s an emergency.” And I hastily pop up from my desk, heels clacking as I scurry toward the hallway. My mind races with thoughts of unpleasant scenarios—Steve trapped in the closet, crushed by a shelf, stabbed by a billion pushpins, blinded by exploding ink cartridges.
The door to the supply room is closed when I arrive, innocuous. Peeking inside, the darkness of the room throws me off as I search for my boyfriend, expecting to see him immediately. It’s not that big of a room.
And then comes the yank.
My feet stumble over the threshold, right into Steve’s chest, almost tipping him over. He chuckles, the light flicking on above us as the door clicks shut.
“Steve,” I gasp, “why were you standing in a dark closet?”
“Waiting for my best girl to come join me.” He smirks, his hands nudging my shoulders, leaning me against a low shelf so he can tower over me. His thin arms cage me in, his figure haloed by the overhead light.
I giggle nervously, “Come on, what are you doing?”
He gently lifts my pliant arms, wrapping them around his neck without a word. I smile up at him, love pouring through my veins as he beams down at me. He tilts my chin up with a slender finger and captures my lips in a deep, hungry kiss.
His body melds against mine, his interest hardening against my leg. A soft moan slips past my lips, and that small sound ignites something wild within him. A lusty groan rumbles deep in his chest and his teeth nip at my flesh, tongue seeking entrance, hands cradling my face and angling it in the way he desires.
A shiver of delight trips down my spine, arousal pooling at the juncture of my thighs. I hum into the kiss, delighted with this turn of events. Wrapping my arms tighter around him and dragging him closer, slotting him perfectly against my warmth.
In smooth, rolling thrusts, Steve begins to rut his hips against mine, creating a tantalizing friction. Lips parting, I gasp for more. My mind drifts into the hazy fog of pleasure and passion, feeling the heat of him—burning through me in delicious licking waves.
His hands begin to wander, kneading my breasts and tracing down my sides. Fingers dig into my hips and the flesh of my ass, almost frantic in his amorous pursuit. He swallows my gasps, sighs, and whimpers with relish, each one spurring on his fervent advances. The buttons of my blouse fall victim to his nimble fingers, popping open slowly, exposing my skin to the cool air of the supply closet.
And my desire stops dead in its tracks, realization striking like lightning—we’re at work.
“Steve,” I mumble into his lips. “Wait.”
He draws away slowly, his forehead pressing to mine, his heavy breaths fanning over my cheeks.
“Are you okay, li’l one?” he asks, a raspy whisper. His fingers brush over my cheeks, caressing my skin in a devout expression of his passion.
“You gotta wait,” I sigh, reaching up to wrap my hands around his wrists and place a kiss on his palms. “We can’t do this at work. My job is to literally write people up for less.”
A noise of protest escapes his lips, an involuntary sound of disappointment that he can’t withhold. But he nods and moves his hands to grasp mine, interlacing our fingers and staring at them in awed rapture.
“Later?” he asks, closing his eyes for a moment to drink in the intimacy and calm the passion still thrumming in his veins.
“I promise.” I tilt my head up for one last kiss, our lips brushing sweetly before he steps away and I stand, buttoning my blouse, grabbing a box of staples and exiting the closet with a wink.
The movie plays on our far-too-large TV screen, an action flick full of explosions and fight sequences barely keeping my attention. Bucky lays atop me, wrapped around my body like a vice, his tail coiling around Steve’s hoof, up his furry calf. My fingers card through Bucky’s hair, playing with the strands until he hums and sinks heavier atop my chest. I sigh, eyelids fluttering, the challenge of keeping them focused on the screen battling against sleep.
Without warning, Bucky tilts his head, beginning to suck my breasts through my shirt. My breath hitches in my throat, jumping at the sudden intimacy. But he simply continues, seeking my nipple, already peaking through the thin fabric.
He glances up, eyes bright with desire when they lock on mine. The question in his gaze clear, wanting to make sure I’m comfortable with him proceeding.
My teeth sink into my lower lip, head bobbing in a slow nod. He smiles and insistently pushes at the hem of my shirt until my breasts spill out for his ravenous attentions. His eyes darken as he latches on, gently squeezing the swells of flesh in his hands and suckling at my nipples in turn.
The end of his tail, wrapped around Steve’s ankle, slowly creeps higher, trailing up toward the apex of the minotaur’s thighs. I watch, entranced, as it rises higher and higher, nearer to that delectable, intimate place.
Steve shifts, stretching away from it at first before sinking into the sensation, ears twitching in curiosity at the soft sounds Bucky makes against my chest. His eyes flash away from the screen, finding Bucky and I erotically entangled. And something sparks.
His hand clasps Bucky’s tail, caressing it in long, smooth strokes until Bucky whimpers into my chest. His claws nick my sides, grip tightening at the pleasure of Steve’s touch.
My panties flood at the sumptuous sound and sharp sting, left leg lifting to wrap around Bucky’s waist and grind my clothed folds against his scales.
“Good girl,” Steve praises, watching my movements with a heated gaze. “Gods, can you smell her, Buck?”
Before the naga can respond, hazy eyes locking onto mine with a blissful expression painting his features—
BEEPBEEPBEEP, the fire alarm blares.
We each jolt at the noise.
My heart pounds in my chest, panic spiking through me—a sharp damper on our evening.
Steve jumps up, disengaging himself from our tangled limbs, gathering the thick blanket on the back of the couch and gesturing for us to follow him out. “Come on,” he coaxes as we both groan in protest, and slowly stand.
Both of their glamours slip into place, figures morphing into their human appearances. A pout plucks at my lower lip as I follow them out and down the stairs—part of me upset by the rude interruption to our promiscuous activities, and all of me missing their true forms.
There’s nothing for it, though, and I huff before catching up with them, two steps at a time.
Our neighbors all trickle out the front of the building around us, each wondering what set off the alarms and grumbling in their own way.
Bucky sticks close to the both of us, still needing just a bit of extra warmth in his human form. He clings to my back, resting his chin in the crook of my neck and wrapping his arms around my waist.
Steve takes a moment to bundle the heavy blanket around us both, hand rubbing along Bucky’s spine. And when I beckon him closer, he fits perfectly in our combined embrace.
Initial panic quickly bleeds into intemperance as the Fire Department shows up, inspecting each of the alarms and each floor for possible hazards.
And every time Bucky’s hands start to wander, just a little too high or a little too low, Steve’s stern expression halts the movement in its tracks. Despite cuddling close, he remains observant, watching the firefighters do their job and waiting for the moment when we can return to our apartment—and our previous activities.
But after three hours, standing out in the cold for a false alarm, with only a blanket to share warmth in the cool autumn night, there’s not an excitable bone in our bodies.
Each of us falls into our nest, snuggling tight, before drifting off to sleep.
The ties of my cover-up wrap tickle the top of my thigh, a cool breeze blowing over the water. Natasha and Sam’s lake house sits just beside one of most picturesque lakes I’ve ever seen. It’s the perfect getaway after a stressful week—the birds, the trees, the cabin, surrounded by nature and good company.
Bucky drifts through the calm water and disappears beneath the surface, enjoying his time outside and out of his glamour. Steve stands towering over Sam and Clint, off by the grill as they discuss the merits of marinades and the quality of charcoal—or whatever people discuss when grilling meat.
Natasha approaches me from behind, my feet hanging over the end of the dock and lightly splashing in the water. She sits, sighing. Her legs fold beneath her, glamour dropped, exposing her otherworldly arachnid beauty. I smile over my shoulder, knowing Nat’s proclivity to keep her glamour up unless she’s truly comfortable.
“So,” she starts, that hint of prodding curiosity in her voice, “it seems to be going well for the three of you.” Though she phrases it as a statement, even I know it’s a question.
I scoff, “I still can’t believe you didn’t tell me that I was in a relationship with them without realizing.” My hands extend behind me, letting my body recline back toward her.
“In my defense, I figured you’d come to realize in your own time.” A smirk twists around her mandibles as she avoids my gaze. Instead, she reaches up, piling her vibrant red hair atop her head, and fastens it with a scrunchie.
“It was five months, Nat.” My deadpan stare does nothing to perturb my friend, her posture strong and confident, not chastened in the slightest by my vexation.
“Well, it was also entertaining. You guys fit so well together that it didn’t even matter that you were completely oblivious.” She shrugs, all eight of her eyes landing on me, expression amused.
“I still can’t believe this is actually my life,” I mutter in quiet awe, watching Bucky glide through the water toward Steve who stands just at the shore, soft waves lapping at his hooves.
“I still can’t believe that you got so drunk at Clint’s birthday party eight months ago that you forgot you confessed your undying love to those goofs,” she replies with a smirk.
I push at her pale arm with an indignant huff. “Nat!”
“What? It’s a charming story, even better when you add the next five months of pining obliviousness.” Her mandibles click with her smile, a little manifestation of her genuine joy.
I sigh and stand from my position, stretching my back as I turn away. “Yeah,” I concede softly. “I might wish that things had gone differently, but I don’t regret where we are now.”
“Gods, you sap.” Natasha teases with a shake of her head.
I stick my tongue out at her playfully and walk away, heading toward the house to find the bathroom. The patio door swings shut behind me with a familiar squeak and I continue down the hall.
The bathroom lights flick on and the door clicks securely. I turn on the water, washing my hands and adjusting the band of my swimsuit top.
The muffled squeak of the patio door sounds again as I turn off the faucet and continue messing with my swimsuit, unused to wearing a two piece—though the look on Steve and Bucky’s face when they first saw me was well worth it.
There’s no knock before the bathroom door swings open behind me, my boyfriends framed by the doorjamb as they watch me with hungry eyes through the mirror.
“Everything alright?” I ask, turning to look at them directly.
Bucky turns to Steve, head tilting inquisitively toward the minotaur. And Steve just smirks, stepping into the small room.
“Oh, everything’s just perfect, li’l one,” he coos, pinning me against the counter of the sink and dipping his head to brush his snout over my neck, drinking me in like a man parched. “Just decided we couldn’t stay away from you anymore.”
A curious noise echoes in the back of my throat. But Steve quickly swallows it, descending on my lips in a greedy kiss. His tongue licks into my mouth, my own tangling with his, sucking on the wide muscle with a quiet moan.
Bucky slithers beside me, his cool, slick scales pressing to my side, against the exposed skin of my leg. His tongue flicks out, desperate for a taste of the intoxicating scents that begin to permeate the air around us.
Dropping low to the floor, Bucky wraps his tail securely around my right ankle and presses his face to the apex of my thighs with a sibilant hum. He drags my left leg over his shoulder to widen my stance, but keeps me stable, his tongue tasting the sensitive skin of my inner thighs. Though he doesn’t stop there—nuzzling closer to explore my sex with Steve’s steady hand on his head coaxing him onward.
Steve simultaneously draws away from my eager kiss to watch my reactions, breaths panting and eyes dark with lust.
“So gorgeous,” he murmurs. Bucky agreeing with a low groan, mouthing at my covered slit.
The spandex of my swimsuit stretches taut as Bucky pulls the gusset to the side, his long tongue tasting between my folds and flicking over my clit. My hips buck at the sensation, blood flooding with heady lust and head falling back with a quiet cry.
Strong fingers turn my head to stare into Steve’s eyes, the minotaur’s gaze devouring every expression. Soft sounds of pleasure drip from my lips, growing steadily in volume until Steve’s hand gently presses over them to muffle me. His forehead tips to rest against mine, ears twitching at each stifled moan.
An insistent knock echoes in the bathroom, breaking us away from each other and snapping our attention to the door. Steve glares at the wood, the cogs in his head turning—deliberating over his next step. Bucky simply turns away after his initial glance, humming against my core and pressing his shoulders between my thighs like he’s trying to burrow inside me. A shiver rockets up my spine and my fingers clutch at his hair, hips jolting away from the contact.
“Sorry to break up the party, but the burgers are fresh off the grill. You three’ll miss ‘em if you take any longer,” Natasha calls through the door, the distinct impression of a smirk echoing through her words.
Heat immediately floods my face, hands pushing Bucky gently away and righting my suit and skirt—a frantic attempt to make myself look somewhat presentable and not halfway to fucked out.
Steve huffs, his nostrils flaring slightly as he releases his grip on my waist and steps to the door. He snaps it open, glaring down at the smaller drider and gritting out, “We’ll be right there.”
“Better hurry,” she advises solemnly, though her expression betrays the teasing nature of her hint, “wouldn’t want it to get cold.”
Steve nods brusquely, jerking his chin for us to follow him out, a distinct tension sitting on his shoulders as he slides around Natasha. Bucky follows Steve, his head ducked and cheeks tinting a lovely pink as he passes her keen eyes.
And I’m left, caught in the proverbial web, with Natasha blocking the door. Her eyebrow quirks in question, lips tilted in a smile.
“You’ve got to tell me everything,” she insists, arms crossed and eyes sparkling.
I sigh, a smile threatening my lips, and nod.
Three pairs of feet stumble into our apartment, sloppy kisses exchanged between mouths reeking of alcohol. Giddy giggles bubble in my chest, pouring into each of their mouths as our drunken affection flows between us like water.
“Shhhh,” Steve chides, laughter undermining his own remonstrance. His glamour drops in an instant accompanied by an elated clap of his hands, despite his horns accidentally scraping against the doorway.
My hands, though, are too distracted by Bucky’s smooth and sculpted chest, fingers tracing over each peak and valley, trailing toward the buckle of his jeans. But before my fingers can even brush over the waistband, his glamour drips off him.
A disappointed noise of protest rushes out of me, flicking petulantly at his lower belly scales. Bucky giggles and squirms, angling his torso away and slithering closer to Steve.
A pout protrudes my lower lips and a whine trills in the back of my throat—one which instantly catches Steve’s attention. With a confused noise rumbling in his chest, he stomps over toward me, hooves clumsy and clunking against our floor. Nevertheless, his muscled form herds me back toward our bedroom, even as we bump into the walls and trip over rugs.
My back hits the doorframe, a giggle shaken loose as Steve pins me there. His hot breath brushes over me, an excited shiver rocketing up my spine in response. I lift my hands to frame his face, sinking my fingers into the soft fur on his cheeks. My lips purse, eyes locked on his fuzzy snout and half-lidded eyes.
Steve snorts and pulls away from my grasp with a slurred yet sultry, “Li’l one, you get yourself in that room.”
I trip over my own feet, following his directions, both of my boyfriends observing me from the doorway. I collapse onto the bedding of our nest, limbs splaying on the soft blankets with a drunken “oof” and giggle.
Steve quickly falls to crowd over me, hands trailing down my torso toward the hem of my skirt. His thick digits tickle my inner thighs, but my mind is already drifting away on cozy waves toward slumber, despite my attempts to keep myself present in this delicious moment.
He ducks his head, nuzzling against my neck and nipping at my collarbones, fingers clumsily fumbling between my legs, seeking my sensitive bud.
With a low moan, Bucky joins us, slithering behind Steve and cocooning the minotaur and his heat between us. Cheeks flushed the lightest shade of pink—from alcohol or excitement, it’s hard to say—quiet, happy sounds dribbling past his lips.
And not a minute passes before Bucky’s form falls lax atop the blankets, light snores passing through his parted lips.
A low hum vibrates against the skin of my neck and Steve’s fingers slow in their ministrations until they stop altogether, cupping my sex in his warm hand. His breaths brush against my skin in a peaceful rhythm, fallen asleep just like our naga.
My eyes continue to fight against the exhaustion, drunken determination welling within me to stay alert. But once Bucky shifts, draping his body atop mine and Steve’s, unconsciously wrapping us tight in his embrace, I give in, slipping into the allure of a peaceful slumber.
The air in the apartment sits heavy and humid. A slow smile spreads my lips as I sit up in the nest of blankets we all call a bed. Steve’s left for his morning run, but the humidity in the air can only mean one thing.
I stand slowly, stretching and popping joints as I make my way toward our bathroom. Steam billows out from inside when the door swings open, Bucky lounging lazily in our oversized tub, part of his tail dripping water on the tiles where it drapes over the edge.
His head swings lazily in my direction, a languid smile spreading his lips slow as molasses. I shut the door behind me and step up to the sink, brushing my teeth while keeping a careful eye on the graceful form of my boyfriend.
His slick tail wraps around my ankle, the gesture so comforting and expected at this point in our relationship I might begin to worry if ever a time passed when he didn’t do it.
And his eyes. They stay focused on me. Though lethargy overtakes his body, his gaze remains keen, observant.
I spit out the foamy toothpaste and grin while swishing around a mouthful of mouthwash. Spinning carefully on my heel, I stare down at him with a small, teasing smile.
“Mind if I come down there?”
“If you don’t, I’ll just drag you over anyway,” he hisses teasingly, giving a playful tug at my ankle. His hand emerges from the water in invitation—one I immediately accept.
I sink to my knees beside the tub, the white porcelain pressing against my arms as my hands dip into the warm water. A hum buzzes at my lips, my head lowering to rest on my folded limbs.
Bucky leans forward from his reclined position, bringing us closer together, his face inches from my own. His tail wraps tighter around my calf, sneaking up my thigh and drawing my legs apart. My teeth sink into my lower lip, anticipation building as sparks of desire smolder in my belly.
I capture Bucky’s lips with mine, sighing into his mouth as my tongue explores his plush flesh, aching to get a taste from his forked tongue. One of his hands wraps delicately around my neck while the other finds my waist, pulling me as close as possible with our porcelain barrier. Even in the kiss, my lips spread in a contented smile, eyes fluttering shut as our tongues tangle together.
Knees begin to ache even on the cushion of the bathmat, but I cannot bring myself to care when Bucky’s making such delectable noises. His hands draw me closer, and I comply easily, letting myself be drawn farther over the lip of the large tub.
Balancing with a hand clutching his waist and one on the edge, I lose myself to my inexorable lust.
Bucky’s lips and teeth make a path down my neck, finding my pulse point and sucking. I moan softly at the sensation, tipping my head to grant him better access and more skin to mark.
My hand moves from his waist, sneaking toward his slit where I know I will find his cocks growing with our heated explorations. My head tilts, looking beneath the water to catch a glimpse of his girthy lengths, mouth salivating at the thought of him on my tastebuds.
And in one moment, my hand on the edge of the tub finds a patch of slippery soap, and I lose my balance. It’s a matter of mere seconds, but the whole world slows down as Bucky’s eyes widen and he jerks to help me. With that, my grip on his hips disappears and I plummet, slamming my head against the porcelain of the tub.
A yelp of pain breaks past my lips. My hand immediately rising to my forehead where a knot already begins to form. And then I feel the sticky blood that trickles from busted skin.
My eyes widen in fear, looking to Bucky’s whose own expression is one of horror. He grabs for a towel, a wave of water splashing over me with his movement.
Drenched and bleeding, a laugh bursts out of me, halfway to hysterical. Tears blur the sight of Bucky’s frantic attempts to help me with increasing distress as he remains stuck in the tub.
Reaching out, I grasp his hand, halting his gesticulations and waving off his panic with an ill-advised shake of my head. I blindly reach back to grab a towel with my free hand and press it to my wound, Bucky helping me position it in the right spot and wiping away the blood drips that have already begun to dry on my skin. He watches me carefully, an apology sitting on his lips and glistening in his eyes.
But I just urge him back to his relaxation in the water, curling my body against the tub, as close to him as I can get.
“Note to self,” I say, weary mirth dancing in my tone, “Let’s not attempt this again.”
Music fills the air of the kitchen, my hips swaying in time with the beat, feet bouncing as I dance around the counter, lips mouthing the lyrics enthusiastically. All alone in the apartment, I allow myself to move freely, not worried about Steve or Bucky making fun of my uncoordinated wiggles.
Bagels cool on the counter, just out of the oven and smelling delicious. My hands occupy themselves with washing up as I wait to put them away, fingers sudsy and pruned from the dishwater. Journey’s Any Way You Want It blasts through the speakers—a classic that always gets my body moving.
I play the air guitar at the solo, singing along with the riffs and bopping wildly across the floor. As I spin on my heels, though, I unexpectedly come face to face with Bucky and Steve, standing in the kitchen doorway, amused smiles on their lips.
“Shit,” I exclaim, halting abruptly, hand over my heart and a chagrined smile twitching at the corners of my mouth.
They exchange a look, leaning in for a quick peck, before parting as Steve saunters right to my phone, tapping on the screen until Hozier’s N.F.W.M.B. plays through the speakers.
Bucky wraps himself behind my back, scales smooth and claws tickling over my stomach. He sways our hips in rhythm with the music, cheek pressing against mine from behind.
My heart beats frantic in my chest, adjusting from the bright excitement of my personal dance party to the sultry anticipation that settles over the three of us now. My mind floats, hazy with the peace of their combined presence, completely at ease.
Steve watches the two of us, furry arms folding across his chest. His eyes flash with a flurry of emotions—landing on something between awe, adoration, and ardor. My lips quirk as I stare right back at him.
“What’re you waiting for, ya big lug?” I ask, voice dripping with affection and hands gesturing the minotaur closer, “Come over here.”
“So, it’s gonna be like that?” he quips with a smirk, stepping forward and resting his hands at my waist, dipping his head to press a prolonged kiss to Bucky’s cheek. The naga’s eyes flutter shut, bliss painting his features in a giddy tranquility.
I hum, eyes closing to drink in the moment—the atmosphere, their touch, their warmth, the palpable love thrumming in the air around us. Bucky’s nose traces over my throat, following my pulse and tongue flicking out to lick at my jaw. His arms constrict tighter around me, a whimpering moan forced from my lungs as I revel in the pressure—just on the pleasant side of pain.
Steve’s fingers cradle my face, tipping my head up to catch his gaze. He checks in with me, ensuring my enjoyment of the moment before slowly turning us and backing away. He lures us in the direction of our room, my hand secure in his, Bucky following to remain flush to my back.
The song changes. Another seductive beat drifting over the speakers, muffled by the walls as Steve guides us to our nest. The plush blankets and pillows greet us, cozy and inviting.
Our bodies descend, entwining together with groping hands and wandering lips. I work my shirt over my head and push at the waistband of my leggings, stripping as Steve captures Bucky’s lips in a passionate kiss. Bucky nuzzles into Steve’s hand, wrapping his tail around our waists until we press firmly against one another, Steve’s fur soft against my newly exposed skin. My hands rake over scales and skin and tufts of fur, the textures creating a delicious kind of stimulation.
Heat crawls over my body, igniting at every point they caress. The scent of their arousal hanging heavy in the air, a muskiness that floods my senses. My thighs clench together, mind succumbing to a lurid haze at the thought of their heated touch.
Steve’s strong hands reach to grab my breasts, palming the flesh until I arch into him. His fingers flick my nipples, still covered by the lace of my bralette. But his lips remain occupied by Bucky’s increasingly needy kiss, sloppy and desperate and loud. His claws scratch against my tummy with a delicious sting, before they find a purpose, trailing lower and lower toward the petals of my sex.
A mewl works its way up my throat, body grinding back against Bucky but arching into Steve’s caress. My lips search them out, pressing kisses to any place within my reach. Fingers drifting down torsos, I trace over their lower extremities, a light tease seeking their unsheathed cocks.
They break for air at my exploration, their chests heaving against mine. Steve’s hands tense on my breasts until I hiss in discomfort, but he dips his head and laves his tongue over the sensitive skin, an apology and continuation in one.
Bucky ruts behind me, my fingers finding his slit where his two cocks emerge hard, hot, and slick. My mouth waters. I need to taste him—worship him—more than I need air to breathe.
I turn, drawing away from the mild protest on Steve’s lips, locking my eyes on Bucky’s beautiful cocks. Both so thick—arousal drips from me at the thought of them inside me, the memories.
“Please,” he begs, eyes wide and glassy. His tongue flicks over my lips, sneaking into my mouth to tangle with my own. “Baby, please.” His voice cracks over the words, already devolving into a wanton mess, greedy for attention and pleasure.
I coo softly, lowering my head to suck at his pulse point and trace a wet trail of hasty kisses down his neck and chest, across the muscles of his pecs and abdomen toward those precious treasures weeping precum. He responds to each brush of my lips with whiny, little groans of satisfaction, begging for more, hands grasping at my nape and tail snaking around my leg, gripping tight.
A large, warm hand pushes between my clenched thighs, drawing my leg back, opening me wide, and finding the heat of my cunt. Thick fingers part my soaked folds, dipping into the juices pooling there and swirling around my sensitive bud.
Steve lows, his hips curving against my rump. “Gods, li’l one, so wet,” he whispers, voice gravelly—almost pained. His lips brush over my ear as he continues his exploration, dick throbbing against the cheeks of my ass.
My attention remains split—too invested in the sensations and stimulation from both of my boyfriends—ogling Bucky’s thick lengths and rocking against Steve’s sure touch. Their lips connect over my curled form, exchanging gasps and panting breaths between their gaping mouths.
But my lips descend, tongue lolling out of my mouth to lick over Bucky’s cocks, sticky slick and twitching. He hisses at the first swipe, claws scraping against my scalp. Both of my hands reach out, cradling his twin lengths in my palms, stroking them slowly as I lean forward and suckle at the head of one before switching to the other.
Moans, whimpers, mewls push past his lips—a gorgeous symphony to reward my efforts. I swallow him as far as I can, bobbing my head up and down his lengths, one at a time, lips stretched almost uncomfortably wide.
Steve’s determined touch, however, does not abate, two thick fingers thrusting into my channel and massaging against my fluttering walls. My sounds of approval and pleasure murmur around Bucky, but my hips roll in rhythm with the minotaur’s ministrations, rocking back to try to shove his digits deeper.
Finesse is not my priority at the moment, mind too hazy and clouded to pay attention to technique. My lips drag over each of Bucky’s cockheads, fingers spreading his dripping excitement. Lewd sounds accompany my sloppy pursuit of the naga’s pleasure—smacking, slurping, squelching. My tongue drags over hot flesh, tasting every inch of him and sucking him down again and again, eyes locked on Bucky as he unravels. And I revel in it all.
“So fucking precious, li’l one,” Steve grunts, his cock leaking profusely as he continues to jut his hips against my ass, seeking some kind of relief. His free hand wraps around Bucky’s neck, holding him close for the occasional kiss broken by sinful moans.
Bucky, on the other hand, is far too past the point of speech, grunted syllables babbling out of his lips as he squeezes his eyes shut. I hum happily around one of his lengths, his whole spine quivering at the vibration. Claws nick at my skin and Steve’s as he grasps out for some kind of tether, close to flying away in ecstasy.
But before I can gladly bring him over the edge, the hand at my core disappears, wrapping sticky digits around my neck and wrenching me back into a soft arch.
“Not quite yet, li’l love,” Steve rasps in my ear, breath brushing hot over my cheek in heady pants. His cock slips between my lower lips as he adjusts his hips. He pokes and prods at my folds, coating himself in my abundant arousal, fingers pinching one of my nipples as he thrust, splitting me on his massive cock until I swear I can feel him in my lungs.
A keening cry bursts out from my chest—catapulted over the edge of my first orgasm and trembling with the sparkling pleasure.
And not a second passes for me to enjoy it before Steve begins to drag his length out of me and sink back in. My lips wobble. Sensitive and gasping at the delicious friction, a high whine trills in my throat.
“Please, Stevie, need,” I slur, already drunk with pleasure and impaled, words barely intelligible.
His hand traces down my torso in response, cradling my belly, fingers barely edging the outline of my lower lips as he rocks against me, a delicious push and pull of his girth against my walls.
I bend at the waist, hungry for another taste of Bucky’s cocks, nails raking down his chest and skipping over his scales. He tosses his head back at the sensation, tongue flicking out from between his lips to scent the air and savor our coupling. Murmurs of need and desperation trickle over his lips and a fire rages within me to grant his every wish and desire.
My lips wrap once more around his tip, the decadent taste of his precum dripping on my tongue. The smoothly ridged skin of his cocks slip and slide easily as one hand works at one length and I swallow the other deep.
Steve leans over my shoulder, capturing Bucky’s lips in a ravenous kiss. When they break apart for air, their eyes lock and I gulp thickly around Bucky’s cock at the heat in their gaze.
“Need you with me, Buck,” Steve gasps as my walls clench around his pistoning girth, sucking him in while I roll my hips back, aching to feel him deeper.
When he leaves me completely the next moment, I whimper in protest—the emptiness nigh unbearable.
Until the familiar click of a lube cap pops behind me. My ears perk up at the noise, curiosity and excitement tingling in my veins.
Steve’s slow to re-enter me, his free hand dragging my body back to press flush against him. His other finds Bucky’s bottom cock and starts stroking in a firm grip. Bucky’s hips jolt, his upper length twitching and bobbing in response to the stimulation.
I watch, entranced by the display and waiting with anticipation. But Bucky tilts my chin, dragging me close to lick into my mouth and steal the moaning whimpers that bubble up my throat.
“Can you take both of us, li’l one?” Steve rasps in my ear, “Promise we won’t break you.”
For a moment, the word ‘yes’ escapes me—drifts away until I can’t remember how to form it in my mouth. But I mewl, clutching at Steve’s arm and dragging him impossibly closer behind me. Breaking away from Bucky’s hungry kiss, my wide eyes meet Steve’s and he smiles indulgently in response.
His head bobs in a slow nod and his fingers drift from my hips to my core, prodding at my stuffed entrance until he can fit one thick finger beside his cock.
My breath hitches and Steve stills.
He waits for my body to relax, my muscles loosening around the extra intrusion. Bucky’s claws scrape over the soft skin of my stomach, soothing me as Steve begins to rock his hips, adding another finger and stretching me wider.
The lube bottle cap clicks again and Bucky coats himself in the slippery substance—as if the copious amount of precum and spit dripping down his girth weren’t enough lubrication already.
He’s slow in his movements, letting Steve guide his lower dick to my core, slithering closer. They help each other align another cock at my stretched entrance before Steve removes his fingers, a sloppy squelch accompanying the retreat. And Bucky presses forward with one length, pushing just enough until his head pops into my channel alongside Steve.
My heart lurches in my throat, a swell of panic in my chest, but at the first sound of distress, everyone freezes. It’s not the first time we’ve done this, but even with a truly dynamite warm-up, it still takes me a moment to completely accept such monstrous cocks into my body—I’m only human after all.
Bucky cradles my jaw, prompting me to take deep breaths. I follow his lead. A slow inhale and exhale, wrapping my hands around his wrists and waiting for my body to accept the intimate incursion.
“That’s it, baby,” Bucky reassures, brushing his fingers across my cheeks gently, so careful not to scratch the skin.
“We’ve got you, li’l one.” Steve presses sweet kisses to my head, keeping me stable and steady even as my legs shudder.
But the pressure builds the longer we remain immobile, that tempting little coil of sensuality screaming for satisfaction. My hand snakes down between my belly and Bucky’s, tracing my fingers over his free member, the flesh quivering beneath my touch.
Bucky grits his teeth, straining with his willpower to remain still. But I’m done waiting. All I want is the friction—the subtle burn melding with the overabundant pleasure.
My hips begin to bounce slowly, drawing away as much as my shaking legs will allow before easing back onto the two cocks inside me, stroking Bucky’s unoccupied length in my fist.
Steve’s grip pulses on my hips, stilling my movements completely until I huff in irritation. His lips trace over my throat, a rough grunt nipped to my jaw when I try to keep my pace despite his strength.
“Careful,” he murmurs, voice taut, husky.
Another breath passes, a kiss shared over my shoulder, before they both begin a gentle rocking motion. In synchronicity, they find their rhythm, one withdrawing as the other plunges deep within my walls. The constant drag and pull of their cocks, keeping me stuffed full.
Words are no longer possible, every syllable of the English lexicon jumbled in a mass of moans and whimpers as my two monsters take me apart piece by piece with each thrust of their hips.
Bucky moans loudest, his eyes rolling back in his skull as he splits me open, my other hand lovingly tending to his second length. His teeth sink into his lower lip before he cries out with a harsh thrust from Steve.
“Fuck, Stevie,” he whines, eyelids fluttering, “I can feel you.”
Steve—more focused on his task, more intent—merely groans at the statement and ruts deeper, curving his hips to angle himself against that perfect spot inside me to shoot fireworks behind my eyelids.
My walls contract around him and his teeth clack, gritting together as he continues his pace, staving off his pleasure in pursuit of ours. But I know—I know he’s hanging on by a thread and so close to bursting—can feel it in the way his cock throbs inside me, how he tries to conceal the stutter of his rhythm, the way he buries his head into my neck and pants against my skin.
“Please,” I beg, yearning to feel him lose control and coat my walls with his release, “Please, Stevie, fill me up with your cum. I need it.” His lips part, lowing and close to defeat. “Wanna be full of you, feel you dripping down my thighs, bulging my belly.”
Taking his hand from my waist, I drag it over my lower abdomen and press where he’ll spill inside me. My teeth sink into my lower lip, relishing the way his hips accelerate, the uncontrollable instinct to rut into his peak taking over.
Bucky’s claw pulls my lip free, his tongue smoothing over the swollen flesh and sucking it gently into his mouth. We kiss passionately until Steve’s hand wraps around my throat, tilting my head back and adding his tongue. We three exchange moans and gasps between our lips, basking in our obscenity.
Bucky gasps, his orgasm washing over him first, one cock shooting spurts of his sticky seed all over my hand and his chest and the other shooting the ropes of his spend deep within my womb. A shudder runs down my spine, thrust that much closer to rapture.
Careful claws descend on the oversensitive bud between my thighs, swirling the combined arousal over it in an unrelenting attack. My jaw drops, needy noises climbing up my throat and spilling out with each brush.
My whole world shatters when I cum, black dots speckling my sight and head awash in fuzzy euphoria. The walls of my cunt milk Steve’s cock, still pounding into me to find his own climax. And with a strangled noise, he cums, filling me impossibly full until it leaks out around his length.
We each breathe deeply, enjoying the blissful moment.
Fingers still trip over soft skin and fur and scales. Each of our heartbeats slowly calming from the frantic pace of exertion.
A dazed and dopey smile spreads my lips, legs jelly and a pleasantly warm feeling deep in my core. I hum, burying my head in Bucky’s neck and grabbing Steve’s arm to keep him close to my back.
“I love you,” I murmur, fingers tracing lackadaisical patterns on Bucky’s throat and Steve’s forearm.
“Love you more,” Steve insists right away, arm tightening around me. He noses at my cheek until I tilt my head, allowing him an indulgent kiss.
“More than you could possibly fathom,” Bucky adds with a soft buss to my temple.
A small smile spreads my lips, heart fluttering happily in my chest.
“Come on, li’l love.” Steve stands, helping me up and into his strong arms, carrying me across the hall to our bathroom.
I smile and allow them to dote on me—filling the tub with water, pouring in bubble bath, and turning on soothing music. They wash carefully between my sore legs, keeping things delicate to not exacerbate my already aching body with more than it can take.
Bucky tips my head back, careful as he washes the sweat away from my brow, shielding my eyes from any suds. Steve keeps my shoulders warm with cupfuls of water poured over my exposed skin.
My thoughts drift as they complete their ministrations, splashing water over the edge as they each sink into the monster-sized tub. It’s still a squeeze—with Steve’s hulking muscles combined with the long length of Bucky’s tail—but none of us mind. We lay against each other, a serene scene of languor, bath water warm around us.
Laying encased in their arms, I take a moment to observe the peaceful expressions on their faces. A smile pulls at my lips, joyful tears pricking at my eyes—thankfully unnoticed by my monsters in their relaxed states.
They may insist that their love is greater, unfathomable. But this feeling, washing over me now—it’s deep, infinite, all-consuming. And I think I can understand their sentiment pretty well. A love that will last to the end of our days—and then some.
Continue to Part 3!
#monster au#monster x human#monster x human romance#stucky x reader#steve rogers x reader#bucky barnes x reader#steve rogers x bucky barnes#naga bucky barnes#minotaur steve rogers#smut#5+1 fic#18+#minors dni#monster x human smut#monster fucking
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