#Need to get a handle on that

[thetreetopinn]

My ADD Medication Journey - Dec 27, 2023

12/27/2023 – Wednesday

Slept well enough, still didn't want to get out of bed because of how cold it is outside

Morning dose taken at 7:30 am

Today was not nearly as productive as yesterday

Spent most of the morning answering questions or follow-ups at manager request

The afternoon was spent working on a project that I hyper-focused on

Forgot to eat my granola bar

Hyper-focus resulted in not taking lunch until 3:30 pm

Tremors only picked up due to missing normal lunch time

Mood was good

Focus was a little scattered early on, but then picked up after the questions died down

#ADD #ADHD #Attention Deficit Disorder #Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder #Medication #Journal #Smokey's ADD Meds Journey #Weeeee hyper-focus go brrrrrr #Need to get a handle on that #Need to get back on top of the usual work #At least we're making good progress

[sergle]

You!! Hey you!! Are you looking for a pair of kittens? Do you live In Or Near Oklahoma? Do you wish you could listen to purring all the time? Do you want a cat that looks like an aye-aye?

long story short, we found these two kittens at the bottom of a garbage can!! I don't like to think about how they ended up in there- but we heard them crying while on a walk, and it's very lucky they were so loud! They were scared at first, but now they NEED to be snuggled at all times. Crazy how adaptable kittens are. I'd prefer to rehome them as a pair, but I'd consider adopting them out individually if that's my only option! Please IM me if you're interested in both/either of these babies, or if you have any questions at all!!

#reblogs would of course be appreciated #kittens #cats #sergle.txt #WE'RE DOING IT AGAIN EVERYBODY LAST TIME IT WAS CHALUPA NOW IT'S TWITCH AND CHAT #please please please take these cats from me I swear to god. you will love them. something clicked in their heads and now they LOVE people. #I'm telling you right now that adopting cats as a Set is the best idea. there's no better way to have two cats that Get Along #and you get to watch them play. and bc they keep eachother company they can handle being left alone for chunks of time #Chalupa really needed all hands on deck but I actually think someone who works full-time could have these two no problem #because they keep themselves occupied if you leave them alone but are ecstatic when you're around #source: they are upstairs rn to keep them separate from our Resident Cats and I hear them galloping around all the time while they play.

[huskingthatdust]

I know we all love protective husk, but I love the idea of Husk being supportive of his boyfriend just fucking up some dudes. Like people walk in and see Angel and Husk together. They taunt Angel thinking Husk is gonna fight with them like some guard dog. Angel glances at Husk, Husk smiles and nods. He leans back and takes a sip of his drink. Angel stands up with six tommy guns. Angel quickly gains the reputation of a man not to fuck with. Husk gives Angel strength to stand up for himself and I think that's way more powerful of a concept.

#hazbin hotel #huskerdust #hazbin angel dust #hazbin hotel husk #im just thinking of the quote “i can handle myself” #and he really can #he just needs someone to go “go get em babe” #ya know???

[tabooiart]

this hot pink bitch was named breakfast!!!

#my art #fanart #starkid #team starkid #npmd #nerdy prudes must die #nibbly #nibblenephim #kim whalen #this one was significantly more difficult than tinky.. something about the angle of the head #also having to spend a lot of effort on the mouth which i usually dont like doing but cmon. its nibbly. the mouth is like his whole deal #ALSO THE HAIR WAS SUCH A BITCH TO PAINT #and the bedazzled visor...... honestly the whole thing #i like how it turned out tho!! #oh also if u look closely i gave him pig eyes!!! something about the lib human forms looking pretty normal aside from freaky eyes #alas i once again had to shrink it because the canvas was the same size as tink's #cmon man discord can handle my giant canvases tumblr needs to get it together #speaking of are there any like starkid/hatchetfield discord servers that are active someone let me in im pawing at the door like a kitty ca

[inkskinned]

you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

#writeblr #warm up #my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky #i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles #yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help #for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT #and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen #than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say #''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help #i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.'' #bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't #actually offer fair support to everyone #we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less. #and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help #bc i DID have it better than other people #and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help. #we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn #instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself

[ruporas]

endless love!

[ID Two drawing collage pages of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. In the first collage, top corner, Wolfwood looks upwards disgruntled with a flushed expression, lying against a pillow, as his hair is being pet by Vash's hand. Next shows Vash and Wolfwood from behind, Wolfwood with his top bare and hickies covers around his nape area. Vash lifts hair away from his nape and asks, "More?" Wolfwood nervously says, "No." Next is a side profile of Vash, his arms around Wolfwood from behind while Wolfwood rests his hands against Vash's arms. Next to this are two smaller drawings; Vash turns to Wolfwood and says repetitively, "Wolfwood, Wolfwood..." Wolfwood, not looking at him, says "What?" He finally turns his head and looks shocked as he exclaims, "So close!" Vash says plainly, "You just noticed?" Below these is a drawing of Vash and Wolfwood sitting together as Vash kisses and hugs him from behind with his right arm around Wolfwood's neck and his left hand around his side. He also has his right leg propped against Wolfwood's knee. Bottom of the page has a comic. Wolfwood looks annoyed, speaking to himself, "Where is that idiot?! Need to get out of town before--" A chat bubble exclaims, "Wolfwood!" The next panel shows Vash running from the townspeople, small text saying "Get him! Vash the stampede!". Wolfwood, mad and about to pull the Punisher off his shoulder, says, "Argh, you fucking dumbass!" Vash exclaims, "Ah, don't!" before pulling Wolfwood into a quick kiss. He then tugs on Wolfwood's collar and says, "There's no need to shoot, just run!" Wolfwood stammers, "R-right..." with a flushed, dumbstruck expression.

Second collage; Top left, Wolfwood spoons Vash in bed, his arms around his chest and the other beneath Vash's head. Vash has his hand on top of Wolfwood's as he sleeps while Wolfwood lies awake. Behind this drawing is faint sketches of Vash's face. In a small panel, Wolfwood hides in Vash's neck as he mumbles to himself "Stop. Stop thinking embarrassing things, Wolfwood..." Beneath this drawing is another of them in bed, Vash now turned to Wolfwood and a hand on his cheek as he kisses him good morning. In a simpler style, Vash wraps an arm tightly around wolfwood with the text "snork mimimi" next to him while Wolfwood says, "We need to get up. Spikey! HEY!" In this corner, there are faint sketches of Vash and Wolfwood; one of them looking at each other; Vash kissing Wolfwood's forehead; Wolfwood saying, "Hand" with an outstretch hand and Vash says "ok" behind a drawing of them holding hands, both turned away from each other shyly. Next is a 4 panel comic. First shows Wolfwood's face getting squished by Vash's hands with the text "squish" around his face. Next, his cheeks are stretched with the text "Chee--" Wolfwood then hits Vash's face with his palm, exclaimining "That hurts!" The last shows Vash on Wolfwood's lap, smiling to himself as he continues to have Wolfwood's face in his hands. Next to this is another comic; A close up of their hands, Vash holding Wolfwood's with both of his. He then kisses the palm of Wolfwood's palm and says, "They're soft!" Wolfwood looks at him with flushed cheeks, "There's no way that's true..." END ID]

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #just posting first for now!!! wanted to have these two spreads together grah #ive been weirdly selective when it comes to posting on tumblr but i really need to start dropping everything from twitter/insta onto here... #anyway what is there to say... i like to just draw them being in love and silly. there are so many flavors to vw #and i so happened to really enjoy the intimate sickeningly affectionate aspect of it... lays down... #give these two touch and loved starved selfless individuals the chance to pour their entire being into loving the other.... #thoguh in particular i drew these both for wolfwood wednesday (which is everyday to me) so theyre wolfwood centric #i think for some time i was just seeing a lot of work of vash being loved by wolfwood and obviously that makes sense #ww loves that fool so much and will love him two times as much for the love vash refuses to give himself #but i also love wolfwood and desperately needed to see wolfwood being loved so i drew it #bc it goes both ways... i def believe that ww would be adamant about giving affection to vash at first bc vash would hesitate asking #but once he gets comfortable vash's love pours and he'd noticed too that ww avoids getting spoiled affectionately bc of his own issues #vash is. stubborn to me. more so than wolfwood. he will destroy him with love!!!!!!!!!!! #and wolfwood will adjust and get used to it. being loved. loving. steadily but slowly as his days are filled with soft touches and reminders #that he's being handled gently and with care for the first time in a long time #ruporas art

[bluerosefox]

Beloved Beyond Time

A DeadSerious Prompt where a young Damian follows his mother's advice about finding his future 'Beloved' and is smitten with a TimeTraveling Ghost King (Prince) Danny when his grandfather summoned the eldritch being.

Damian, despite being young, will want no other to be by his side once he takes over the League. Especially since the King was able to strike fear in his grandfather for even just for a moment.

Danny, whose just started taking up his soon to be Kingly title and duties, at first freaked out when a kid who just got out of toddlerhood is offering marriage. Who wouldn't. And well while he didn't fully encourage it, he found it a little adorable and tried to nudge the kid away from said... err crush feelings?

He was a little sad to have to say goodbye to the kid when his month long stay with the al Ghul's (mostly to see if they're worthy to keep the Pits) he was pretty for sure he'd never run into the kid again and if he did who knows how old they'd actually be because again.. time travel.

So Danny now at the age of 16 really wasn't expecting to be basically be cornered on his first day at his new school at Gotham Academy by a 17 year old Damian Wayne who is leaning over him and says "Hello Beloved. Time has been kind to you it seems."

Danny's poor half-alive heart is currently dying from being cornered by an older Damian.

Let this crazy train wreck begin.

#danny phantom #danny fenton #blue rambles #crossover #writing ideas #random idea #danny phantom dc #dpxdc #dcxdp #dead serious #Damian sneaked into a League meeting when they summoned the Ghost King #but they actually got the Ghost Prince who was learning how to handle realm duties at the time #but Danny doesn't tell them that. Also they summoned him when he was practicing his eldritch form. So yeah he scared them. #Danny actually scared Ra's into submission by threatening his precious Lazarus Pits since he was going to be forced to stay for a month #Danny actually and sadly can't do much to the Pits.Its been there for so long the world would start to become unstable if he took them away #He can heal people who have been effected by it though #Anyways this is another thing Ra's doesn't actually need to know if Danny has anything to say about it #Damian is a smitten kitten by the being who managed to strike fear in his grandfather #and decides only the Ghost King was worthy of becoming his Beloved #During the month he tries to get Danny to agree to their impending marriage #Danny freaks at first but finds it a little adorable and never really takes it seriously #he does try to reason with Damian about how it wont work but the boy is stubborn #Damian does worm a spot in Danny's heart though by being stubbornly adorable #When the month is up. Damian swears to a fading Danny he will marry him in the future #Danny returns to his own time and thinks thats the end of that. #A few weeks later he finds out that someone as a joke signed him up for an exchange student program and that he was picked to go to Gotham #Damian has NEVER forgotten the one he calls Beloved #and has drawn him. Many times. In Eldritch form. Ghost King form. Little Man form. Phantom form. EVEN his human form only Damian knew of. #So when Damian spots Danny. He knows who he is. #Damian is gonna try to channel his mother's abilities in seduction to woo his Beloved

[willosword]

oh this actually hurts like on a physical level

#yeah i'm so sorry mark but you two need to break up i can't handle amber being scared #it's always like a slap of reality when you get to see a civilian's reaction to violence in invincible #willow whispers #invincible #invincible spoilers

[bleh1bleh2]

Why does he hold it like that

#i was trying to draw lance holding his sword from memory and i was like #'yeah voltron has the super weird handle where the sword is in line with the arm' #and then i needed to get a reference to do lineart and what do you know #lance has a normal sword. keith is just being weird about it #voltron

[aroaceleovaldez]

It's honestly wild to me that ToA went through so much trouble to emphasize the fact that Will did not magically fix all of Nico's problems and was explicitly not Nico's only doctor.

Only for TSATS to have Will fix all of Nico's problems and have Nico be entirely reliant on him the entire book and literally helpless without him and LITERALLY have Nico's problems be magically removed.

#pjo #riordanverse #tsats crit #nico di angelo #solangelo #it doesnt make any sense too cause. in HoO we KNOW Nico was fully capable of handling himself in Tartarus #we already knew he was explicitly on his own. we know he had it worse than Percy and Annabeth did #because we are explicitly told that Nico saw Tartarus' true nature the ENTIRE TIME versus Percy only getting a tiny half-glimpse of it once #and Percy acknowledges that he would not be able to withstand actually seeing Tartarus more than he did without just dying on the spot #and Nico was down there for as long as Percy and Annabeth at least. on his own. flying blind and explicitly having it worse. #so it doesnt make sense to totally retcon Nico's ENTIRE experiences with Tartarus to make him sopping wet and pathetic about it #needing to be helped and only being down there for twenty minutes and crying the whole time #and then all of the book he's literally functionally helpless without Will for some reason. despite being in his element. #could not get more in his element than being in the Underworld. my guy literally lives there. that's his HOUSE. that's his YARD. #and he's still just totally sopping wet and pathetic in Tartarus the second time around #like im sorry. no. we literally have previously established canon indicating this is absolutely not the case #that is not something you can retcon. that is an entire major event. it was not glossed over. #unless you are doing time travel and it's a canonical retcon a la Homestuck im sorry the events of TSATS just could never occur #(not to mention Damasen is just never acknowledged in TSATS and him and Bob were absorbed by Tartarus the god and ergo dead in HoH) #(so Bob and Damasen are like. *Gone* gone. they didn't just die to be reformed later they got ERASED.) #(and Nyx sure as hell isnt gonna be the one to have Bob trapped for whatever reason. definitely not cause she hates light/change/whatever) #(nyx is literally the mother/sister [depends on version - sometimes a mitosis situation] of the personification of day? and sky?) #(and FRIENDSHIP? and the nymphs of sunset? sometimes also CHEERFULNESS? and THOUGHTFULNESS? and old age) #(ah yes the mother of concepts such as love/friendship and aging and. day. would HATE [checks notes] love/friendship changing and light) #(she INVENTED THOSE) < anyways thank u for coming to my aside rant in the tags #in parenthesis to indicate this is an aside/tangent rant. anyways i have so many problems with this plot. it just DOESNT WORK #on NO LEVEL DOES IT WORK AT ALL WITH ESTABLISHED CANON

[unfamd]

i strongly believe that in any universe modern or otherwise lwj uses lan xichen as a kind of confessional like a catholic priest. he literally comes into lan xichen's room at four pm precisely because that's the scheduled time that he allows himself to share an Emotion with his brother and sits down and says in a distinctly monotone yet perfectly recognisably anguished tone 'brother i have sinned' and lan xichen sighs very quietly because he doesn't want to hurt his brother's feelings and puts down his pen and says 'is this about wei wuxian' very gently and Lan Wangji is like 'mn' because it has never once Not been about wei wuxian. and then he says something that is Kind Of Weird, But Still Not A Sin like 'he fell asleep when we were studying and i watched his ribcage moving up and down for thirty eight minutes until he choked on nothing and woke himself up; am i evil' and once again lan xichen will kind of not-sigh in a way that makes it very obvious that in all other ways except physical he Is, Indeed, Sighing and has to reassure the most rigidly distraught younger brother in the history of mankind that what he is suffering from is in fact a malady known colloquially as a crush

#the untamed #wangxian #lan wangji #lan xichen #wei wuxian #mdzs #cql #and then they never speak of any of it again even though lan xichen has to physically control the fact that he's having a Stroke #when lwj makes seventy eight Weird But Pretty Okay Really confessions about this boy for like three years and then leaves for college #and starts doing it over voice message instead #lxc sees the notification that lwj has sent him 16 voice messages in the last half hour and Knows Deep In His Bones that this is about wwx #poor man. he needs A Break #eventually the stress back ache gets too much to handle and he goes to a Very Fancy Chiropractor Spa Thing and meets meng yao and Is Happy #but it took some getting there #unfamd originals

[starflungwaddledee]

some rather strong first impressions were made.

required reading for the magical "voice" headcanon and another for starstruck's signature in particular. asked by @trainerbob23 !

#did i need to do a 9 page comic for this... well who knows. i had this scene in mind for a long time and wanted to do it justice! #important moment for both of them. you can see starstruck just generating the bandee shaped mental illness in real time. #and bandee resolving to be her point of contact with waddle dees if the others can't handle it #he is after all; the strongest and the bravest and the best of them. #“what is this signature like” it's like meeting something that has a human face but you can tell it is Not Human. think: uncanny valley #it also took her quite some time to pick up her own voice. she could not speak (popstarian) on her own for a while #she does not mimic anymore though if she can help it because it tends to weird others out and she wants to avoid that!! #it's not like a fun or enjoyable impersonation; it's like a perfect recording on a device. #also i guess this is *finally* the reveal of the 'hospital' mentioned previously that folks noticed and also like... her name 😂 #anyway.... thank you to everyone who voted for starstruck in that poll and has encouraged this insane self indulgence... wow. #never thought i'd get to draw stuff like this and have others look forward to it. i really hope you'll enjoy this!!! #my art #my comics #starstruck dee #bandana waddle dee

[dovewingkinnie]

hero thats on her way to kill every single villain on earth most powerful villain thats scared shitless because he knows he'll be next one day

#she said #jail is not an option! #im sick of all your shit! #the poor guy is just a cartoon villain #all you need to do is send him to jail and scold him #he can't handle the stress of murder #he had to hear the news of every single villain getting killed one by one #knowing that she would eventually find him #poor kitty meow meow #sorry #i know he's a grown man #actually you know what ... #he's my character #i can say whatever i want about him!!

[heyitslucky]

im a simple creature. i see transfems, i follow.

please reblog or comment or like or anything if youre a transfem please please please youre so cute- pretty- gorgeous- mesmerising- and or hot

#i cant handle all the pretty girls on my phone anymore #i need to follow them #my head gets dizzy when i see transfems #i know i sound desperate #its cuz i am #transfem #transfems #transgender #trans #trans nsft #ruleposting #rule #196 #wlw love #transisbeautiful #transgirl

[doe-prince]

Harry the goldfish

#this is from the times i thought i'd ever be strong enough to handle a human comic. how wrong i was #tw blood #i feel so worn down #i've gone into one of those moods where all my projects seem ugly and pointless and unsalvageable #but it'll pass like always #so no need to get concerned about their future

[hakusins]

cw // suggestive

worshipped route for whitney the faithful (or fallen?) where he's preparing the sacrifice pc for weekly prayers~

whitney the faithful/swap au idea belongs to @just-dol-headshots

#okay it seems i have a preferred way to draw whtieny and thats him looking down on pc-chan #HOWEVER !!! #I HAVE A VERY GOOD REASON TO DO THIS #ITS VERY HOT OKAY #LEAVE ME ALONE #i need to plan my panels better jesus #BUT DAMN PLAYING WITH CSP AGAIN IS SO FUN #i can finally make comic strips again!! #swap au #whitney the faithful #whitney the fallen #whitney the bully #dol whitney #fan art #art #mine #my fan art #my art #dol #dol related #degrees of lewdity #dol pc #eri the orphan #MY HEAD HAS BEEN FULL OF THIS IDEA SINCE THIS MORNING #also im sorry im making comics/art at a slower pace #its cause i got deadlines to run after #and on top of that im also trying to handle the apocalypse au brainrot #hbjrefhbehrf #so im literally swapping between comic strips HBJERFHREBFHBERF AND TRYING TO MAKE SURE THEY DON'T GET MIXED UP #damn i got two hands and im right handed