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toomanyfandoms02 · 3 years

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Shameless // Fred Weasley

Summary - The gang challenges Fred and the Reader to fluster eachother after each being called shameless.

Word Count - 1.7k

I'm not gonna lie this was hot LMAOO

Fred and I were often compared to eachother. These were usually the words we were called

Outgoing

Spontaneous

Idiots

Humorous

Shameless

Pranksters

Delinquents

These were said by a mixture of people, but most knew us as best friends. I marched the halls with the twins every day, but everyone knew I was a just a little closer to Fred. There was just some connection there. A connection lots of people took out of context.

Sure, we flirted, but I flirt with a lot of people. Theres another word we were called, flirts! Though this had a good majority of my friends convinced that we were in love. It was at the point where people openly talked about it in front of us.

*"Nice ass Weasley!" I shouted as I entered the Great Hall. This drew a few eyes towards me, snickering. Fred turned around and looked to me, gesturing to his bum.*

*"Oh this old thing? Nothing compared to yours." I licked my finger and made a sizzle sound. Everyone was right, we really had no shame.*

And that's what my friends were on about at the moment. A big group of us were sitting in the Gryffindor common room. This included Harry, Hermione, Ron, the twins, Seamus, Dean, Angelina, and Ginny.

"You two flirt all the time without getting all ruffled. How do you do it?" Ginny asked.

"I don't know, it's just how we are I guess." I shrugged to Fred as I answered. He nodded in agreement.

"Matter of fact, I don't think I've ever seen either of you flustered." Dean butted in.

"I say we change that." George said with a simple nod. Fred looked at him with furrowed brows. "I say we challenge them!" It was clear that not one person in the room knew what George was on about, so he continued. "Alright see, I give them 3 days to see who can fluster who first. One of us has to see it though, to know it happened. Can the unflusterables fluster one another you think?" Georges arms were crossed at his chest cockily.

"I think that's a brilliant idea." Hermione agreed.

"That's easy, I'll totally win. I have no shame, no embarrassment." Fred announced with glee.

"We will see about that." I smiled at him with one eyebrow raised.

*Oh its on.*

After barely an hour of thinking about this whole challenge alone in my dorm, I realized that I walked myself right into failure. It wasnt that I though Fred could win, it was that I *knew* I would lose. In the way that I had never really charmed any boy. I didn't have anything up my sleeve. I was really just going to have to wing it.

That being said, Fred was quite the charmer. It was hilarious watching 1st years see him for the first time and swoon over him. Pulling girls in with simple winks and little waves across the room.

But now it was dinner time, so I see this as round one to this weird challenge George has concocted.

I made sure to make my way into the Great Hall nearly unnoticed, walking in with a sea of other students. I immediately spotted Fred and made a beeline towards him. Some of the group spotted me but said nothing, letting me go with my improvised plan.

I stood right behind Fred, reaching my hand into his hair and running my fingers though it. He turned his head slightly to see me.

"Hello love." He smiled at me sweetly. I continued, wrapping my arms around his neck lightly and leaning down so my chin was rested on his shoulder.

"You're hair is so soft." He turned his face to mine, our noses almost bumping.

"Thanks sweet cheeks." He put a small kis on my nose which made me smile, sitting next to him after.

"Nothing? Really? No blushy cheeks, or stuttered speech?" Angelina was flabbergasted clearly, her hands gesturing wildly in the air as she spoke.

"I honestly don't know if it's possible." George shrugged. "I just thought it would be interesting if it was."

"Oh I've got plans don't worry, this sexy ass will be blushing to the moon and back when I'm done with her." Fred looked down to me, smirking. He gave a challenging face.

"I know your deepest darkest secrets Weasley. Don't test me." I raised my eyebrow cockily as the whole group just stared puzzled.

"I wish I could talk to Cho like that." Harry huffed, earning a laugh from most of the group. (Aside from Ginny, who I was quick to tap her hand under the table at the comment. She had told me weeks ago how agonizing she felt.)

Later that night a good portion of the gang was hanging out in the common room again. I had just walked through the entryway and saw Fred sitting on the couch. As soon as we made eye contact he patted his lap. All heads whipped my way. I walked over and sat right on his lap, making myself comfortable. He grabbed my face lightly and put a small kiss on my jaw.

"Where were you love, we missed you." The few first years that had joined whatever conversation was going on looked as if they were going to be sick.

"Just went on a walk handsome." Everyone shook their heads with disappointed looks.

"Nothing, seriously?" Hermione laughed in disbelief. The youngins asked about the situation and it was explained to them. They all giggled about it for a while as we watched. Soon Fred was leaned very close to my ear.

"You should just give up now beautiful, you know you're going to lose." He whispered ever so lightly in my ear. I pushed his face away from mine so his ear was towards me.

"Really cute of you to think so." I whispered back. That was the last we spoke that night seeing as it was 10 pm.

I woke up the next morning hearing giggles from Hermione and Angelina. I sat up slowly, rubbing my eyes. They got very quite as they saw me waking up.

"What are you two up to?" They looked down at the books they had in their hands, ignoring me. Just then I heard our shared bathroom open, seeing Fred come out wearing only a towel hanging low on his waist. I looked him up and down with a smile. "Not bad Weasley. Working out lately?"

I would never admit it outloud, but this one almost got me. He's only in a damn towel. I mean come on, everyone found Fred attractive.

Right?

"Yeah. Maybe you can try this whole thing in my dorm later? Maybe surprise me?" He winked and left the room quickly.

"Hey! Get your arse back here, that's my towel!" The girls followed us close behind, peaking out of the door to watch us in the hallway between the rest of the dorms.

"Oh you want it back? Her you go love." He pulled it right off his body and handed it to me. I knew if I closed my eyes, or covered them, they would count it as a loss for me. So I just maintained eye contact with him and yanked it from his hands. "Nervous?" He squinted at me. Man was the boy lucky there was not one else in these halls at 6 am.

"Never." I replied with a smile and turned away, walking back into the dorm. "Nice try ladies!" I dropped the towel in our hamper and they fell back onto Hermiones bed with a loud groan.

Later that day Hermione, Fred, George, me, Dean and Seamus had free time in Care of Magical Creatures.

"He was literally naked in front of her and she didn't even blink." Mione deadpanned.

"Maybe it's because shes seen it before." Fred elbowed my side.

"You wish." I rolled my eyes.

"Maybe I do." He stared daggers into my eyes.

"At this point I feel like even if you guys made out nothing would happen." George shrugged. This gave everyone a collective evil smile.

"Oh are we doing that now?" I asked as nonchalant as possible. Even with my heart racing a mile a second. Fred looked at me with confusion. "Unless you're too pussy." That wiped the confusion off his face.

"Nope." He grabbed my face and pulled it inches from his.

"I'm just going to warn you, I've never kissed, let alone made out with, a boy before. So I apologize in advance." I laugh-whispered to him, pushing my lips onto his. I grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him closer, running my hands through his hair.

His hand traced my jaw with one hand and the other was gripped to my hair.

"Pretty good for never kissing anyone, you sure you arent lying?" He said quietly in between kisses.

"I would never lie to you." He took my open mouth as an opportunity to use his tongue and deepen the kiss. I was ready to give up at this point, this boy was unknowingly ruining me. "Would you ever lie to me?" More questions between kisses.

"Never."

"You like me don't you?" His nose bumped with mine at the question. Starting to kiss up my jaw near my ear.

"Of course love." He laughed lightly, pulling back from the kiss. We turned back to the group which was a mixture of disgust, confusion, and knowing glances.

"Seemed like a lot of whispers for just making out don't you think?" Georges arms were crossed over his chest. We both shrugged.

"Sometimes friends just make out." I admitted, which was a very obvious lie.

"So you would make out with me then?" George challenged. Fred grabbed my waist and pulled me closer to him with a glare to George.

"I think I won in a different way than anticipated." George smirked. "So are you guys going to get together or what?" Everyone nodded.

"Was that what this bullshit was about?" Fred asked loudly.

"Yeah of course. Two dimwits you are, walked right into it." Hermione shook her head. Fred grabbed my hand and squeezed it, making me blush furiously.

"I win!" He pointed to my heated cheeks.

"Shut up ares hole." I elbowed his side lightly.

"It didnt even take 3 days!" George cheered.

*Boy are we going to have some stories when we get older.*

#fred weasley fic #fred weasly x reader #fred weasley #weasley twins #harry potter #harry potter fanfic #harry potter imagine

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gloriafc · 3 years

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Welcome Home

Y/N Barnes is the name you went by. You wore the name proudly, especially the day you married Bucky. He was your soulmate and you couldn't imagine living without him until the day Steve told you he disappeared with the many others in the blip. Steve stayed by your side, the two of you only having each other as you grieved your husband. A month after the blip you found out you were pregnant. "How am I supposed to do this Steve? How am I going to raise his baby without him here?" "I'll be here. It's not the same thing. But I'll try my best."

Eight and a half months later you had given birth to a beautiful babygirl. Rosalina Marie Barnes. Steve stared at the newborn in his arms, "She has his eyes." "I know. I stared at them for an hour wanting to cry." "Why Rosalina?" "Bucky always brought home roses. Didn't matter the occasion. Sometimes just because he hadn't brought me flowers in a while, but they were always roses. Even if it was just a single rose that he picked off a random bush. I had to work that in someway in his honor."

Pepper and Tony helped you as much as you'd let them, Morgan being born around the same time as Rosalina. The two girls became best friends, as they slowly got bigger. Soon they were able to walk and run causing chaos wherever they went.

As five years passed you learned how to live without Bucky. You always told Rosalina about her dad, to keep his memory, and to answer any question she may have had about him. She understood why she didn't have her dad, and as much as it hurt her to know she may never meet him she still loved him with her entire heart.

When Steve told you the Avengers were trying to reverse the blip you didn't know what to feel, thankful Morgan and Rosie were off playing unable to hear the conversation. "This is a good thing y/n." "I know." "You don't sound like its good." "Steve. I spent the last five years without my husband, grieving him. I spent the last five years as a single mother. Spending everyday looking into his blue eyes without him there next to me raising that beautiful girl. And you're telling me you think you guys found a way to bring him and the rest of the world back? Steve what happens when he comes back and he decides a kid is too much for him, or he thinks that I'm not the same person I was when the blip happened? Because I'm not. I spent five years trying to get over him just to fail everyday. I climb into bed everyday just wanting to be held in his arms and to get a whiff of his cologne but cant." You stop yourself unable to finish your train of thought, "Steve. As much as I missed him and as much as I wished he was there for Rosie growing up this is a big change."

When you go home and tell Rosie that Uncle Steve was trying to bring her daddy home she climbed into your bed with your giant photo album asking you to tell the stories of all the pictures in the book. "What's this one mommy?" "That's the day mommy married daddy." "You look like a princess." "I felt like one. Your daddy always made me feel like one." "Do you still love daddy?" "I'll always love him baby. Just like I'll always love you." "Do you think he'll love me?" "I think so. How could he not?" "He's never met me." "Doesn't mean he can't love you. I'm sure your Uncle Steve will tell him all about you."

And he did, as they were being transported back Bucky asked about you. "What happened to Y/N?" "She survived the blip Buck." Bucky could see the look on Steve's face, "What happened?" "Nothing bad. Depending on how you take it. Uh. Y/N found out she was pregnant a month after the blip happened." Bucky stayed silent as the information processed in his head making Steve continue with a proud smile on his face, "You have a daughter Buck. Shes every bit as crazy as Y/N, but shes stubborn like you. Besides your eyes shes her mini me." Steve pulls out his phone and shows him a picture of the three of you on Rosie's last birthday, "She named her Rosalina. Rosie for short. Rosalina Marie Barnes." "She kept my name?" "She couldn't bring herself to go by anything else. She loves you Buck even while you were gone. There hasn't been a day she didn't miss you, even Rosie knows who you are."

When they land Steve calls you to tell you that Tony died. "How's Pepper doing?" "You know Pepper." "Working through everything. How is he?" "Why don't you ask him yourself?" Steve hands the phone to Bucky, the sound of his voice immediately making you cry, "Hey doll." "Buck." The sound of your sniffles makes him want to tear up, "You dont know how much I missed you." "I can imagine it doll. Steve told me we have a daughter." "She's beautiful Buck. Wait until you see her."

The day of Tony's funeral you're helping Rosie get ready trying to avoid being late, but it seems she has other plans. Bucky waits nervously, for him it's only been a week since the last time he saw you, but he knows that it's been five years and you'll be with your daughter. Steve nudges him when your car pulls in and the pair watch as you climb out and go around before you're helping Rosie out as she carrys a gift bag. Pepper followed by Happy and Morgan reach you first, you quickly pull Pepper in with a sad smile "Sorry we're late Rosie had other plans." You watch as Rosie hands Morgan the bag, before she grins as she pulls out a rabbit stuffed animal dressed like iron man, "Squeeze it Morgan." You watch as her and Pepper get teary eyed when the rabbit speaks in Tony's voice, from a recording from one of Tony's voice files, "I love you 3000." Pepper looks at you, "How did you get that?" "I have my ways, theres one more thing." You reach into the bag and pull out a small stuffed cheeseburger that attaches to the bunnies hand, Pepper looks at you, "That's perfect. Thank you." Morgan hugs your legs as she looks at you unable to say anything. Happy looks at you with a sad smile, "I think theres someone waiting to see you. I can watch Rosie." "Thank you Happy."

You make your way towards Bucky and Steve, stopping in front of them as your eyes take Bucky in before you start tearing up. "Doll. You look beautiful." You can't even say anything before he takes you into his arms and you hold onto him tightly, afraid to lose him again. You both sway as you quietly cry doing the one thing you wanted to do for five years.

The three of you move to sit on the steps of the back porch, watching as Happy keeps the two girls entertained. "What's she like?" Steve chuckles as you say, "Sometimes she's a giant pain in my ass." "She's only saying that because she has her mother's attitude." You smile and shake your head, "Theres too much personality in one little body. You're going to have to find out for yourself. But she definitely takes after her dad." Bucky looks at you and Steve confused, "I've lost count of how many times I was asked to pick her up early from school because she got in a fight. A fight in preschool." You nudge Bucky, "Guess what she did?" He just shakes his head as Steve continues, "Every time I asked her she said the bigger kids were picking on the small kid so she fought the bullys." You chuckle, "Sound familiar?"

Ten minutes later she runs up to you, cuddling into your side as she peeks at the man shes called her dad in photos. "Mommy." Bucky can feel his heart thump as the word leaves her mouth, he's always wanted to experience having a child with you he just never imagined you'd do it without him. "Come here." You pull her onto your lap facing Bucky and Steve as she tries to hide in your hair. Not even a second later she's pulling something out of her jacket pocket. "These are yours." She hands Bucky his dog tags, you've told her they were something he never took off, but they fell during the blip and Steve brought them to you. She loved to play dress up with them, always being careful and returning them to their spot when she was done. Bucky looks at the spot where her hand touched his before slowly handing them back to her, "I believe you've kept them safe for this long." She smiles as she holds them to her chest and you kiss the top of her head.

When it is time to go Rosie grabs your hand before stopping and looking at Bucky and reaching for his hand, "Come on Daddy." You couldn't hide your smile, hearing her call him that and him actually being there and not just a picture. Steve nudges his best friend, "Go with your girls." Bucky smiles, "My girls. I like the sound of that." He grabs onto Rosie's hand with his giant hand compared to hers, the three of you walking back to your car. He watches as you help her into her seat before shutting her door, "I'll drive. We had to find a bigger home once she started walking. It's not too far from here."

As you drive Bucky finds himself smiling as you hum along to the music, something you've always done, what makes him stop and look in the backseat is the voice of his daughter singing along to the music as she kicks her feet and stares out the window at the passing trees. He can't hide his smile when he sees your smirk, "Like mother like daughter huh?"

When you park in the driveway Bucky stares at the house as Rosie runs inside, "Tony built it. This is his land, well Peppers now. I couldn't stay in that small apartment anymore. I needed a fresh start but couldn't bring myself to leave completely. After Morgan was born Pepper took over everything Tony did and gave me her old job as assistant. It let's me afford more than we needed without making me work all the time." Bucky still looks at the place you call home, you grab his metal hand, the cold metal having a familiar homey feeling to you, "Come on. There's so much she's dreamed about showing you." As soon as you step foot into the house and lock the door you smile hearing Rosie rummage around in her room, "You got this Buck. Trust me." You lead him to where her room is. When she grabs his hand to pull him further into the room and makes his seemingly giant frame sit on her little bed, handing him her favorite stuffed animals and telling him about each one you cant help but start to tear up, the life you always imagined for her happening right before your eyes.

Your phone buzzes and pulls you out of thought as you read the message from Pepper smiling at the picture attached. She managed to capture a picture of the three of you as you were leaving, Rosie in the middle as you held hands. Your backs were to the camera but its quickly become one of your favorite pictures. You quietly leave the room knowing Rosie is easy to entertain and good at playing host. You quickly open up your computer and after a few short minutes the picture Pepper sent you is printed out and you're sticking it in your photo album. As you close the book you stop remembering the bins you've kept in the garage all these years. You find the one you'd continuously dig through when you were pregnant and couldn't fit any of your clothes, and carry it inside. You stop when you see Rosie and Bucky standing in the hall, "There you are Mommy. I want to show daddy the pictures." You smile and nod, "How about we let daddy get into some more comfortable clothes while I make dinner?" She quickly let's go of his hand, "Can I help?" "Always Love."

Rosie becomes preoccupied with going through the pantry trying to find what she wants for dinner as you lead Bucky to what would now be your shared room. "You'll find everything easy. These are all your clothes. The rest of your stuff is in the garage, but that can wait until tomorrow." Bucky takes the box from you his hand finding the side of your face and you cant help but lean into his touch your eyes quickly finding his. "You kept everything?" With a nod you answer, "I couldn't bring myself to throw anything away. Or donate it. The thought of someone else wearing your clothes, making the smell of you go away was too much for me. And it helped that when I was pregnant and to big to fit in my own clothes that I had backups." For the first time in five years Buckys lips meet yours as you both get lost in the moment. It isn't until you hear a tiny "Eww" that makes you break apart. You both chuckle at the disgusted look on your daughters face as she stands in the doorway holding onto a box of macaroni and cheese, Bucky can't help himself, "What? You don't like this?" He gently turns your face so he can kiss you again, making you laugh into the kiss when Rosie pretends to gag. He let's you go and is quick to grab Rosie making her drop the box and let out happy giggles as he spins around. You immediately know what hes going to do as he stops in front of you, "How about this?" Before she can question anything you both press multiple kisses to her cheeks making her giggle even harder as she tries to push you both away, "That tickles!"

Just hearing the sounds of his daughter's giggles makes him immediately become protective. Even though he just met her he already knows how much he loves her and how he'd do anything to keep a smile on her face. The fact that you gave him a child makes him fall even more in love with you. When you both head to the kitchen to make dinner he can't shower fast enough, not wanting to miss a single moment with you both. As he walks down the hall he finally takes notice of the different pictures that line the walls. There's some of the two of you, some with Steve, with Tony, Pepper, and Morgan. He can see that you continued to live your life but stops at the ones with him in them. He sees your wedding picture and cant stop himself from touching the frame, next to it a picture of you pregnant, then one of you holding Rosie as a newborn. He gets taken out of thought when he can hear two giggles coming from the kitchen, he smiles thinking how much his daughter is exactly like her mother, and wouldn't change a thing.

Bucky slowly eases into your nighttime routine, and being around Rosie. Anytime he needs reassurance about what to do he'd look at you and you'd simply nod or shake your head. He watched as you tucked Rosie in for bed, her refusing to be tucked in unless he helped making you laugh. After you turned off her light he followed you to your room climbing into bed alongside you. "This side feels unslept in." "It should. I can't sleep on that side, when Rosie would climb into bed with me she always managed to sleep on top of me."

As soon as you feel yourself start to fall asleep you feel an all too familiar weight on top of you, "Rosie what are you doing out of bed?" Bucky reaches over to turn on the light in his half-asleep state shocked to find Rosie on top of you and under the blanket, "There's a monster under my bed." "And there's a gremlin under my blanket." Bucky can't fight the smile on his lips as he watches the mother-daughter duo. "Mommy, I need daddy to fight the monster." "Liar." "You don't know that." "Mmm i think I know my own child Rosie. You just want to sleep in here." She looks between you and Bucky with a smile he knows he'll end up giving into everytime, "Can I?" You look at Bucky, "It's up to you Sergant." He can only shrug, "She's already under the blanket." Rosie grins before snuggling in-between you both.

After Rosie's fast asleep Bucky feels her weight shift until he feels her weight on top of him, not even a second later he hears you quietly say, "I told you. Welcome home Buck."

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine

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starcookiechu · 3 years

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ROTT Review

SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE. You have been warned.

FYI: I just finished the movie. So my opinions may change a bit but here I am writing a full review.

Before I talk about the movie, I have to say this movie has fantastic animation. The music is as good as usual.

Ok now the story. Let’s start with the our Trollhunters.

Fair Lady Claire. My girlie Claire really brought her all into this. I’m really proud of the young woman she has grown up into. However for the sake of the plot and story they make her run out of magic juice quite a bit. But my girl is still the best and gives it her all.

Wingman Domzalski. I will be perfectly honest. Toby is kind of the annoying best friend at times and bothers me as a plus size person. (They really push the over eating thing to the point that it’s his biggest factor.) Toby is a very eager kid who is ready to get in the action. Never being negative to his friend but the best emotional support who will always be at his side. Sure Toby was used a bit as comedic relief in the movie but when push comes to shove, Toby will always be there to do the right thing.

Blinky is amazing as always. One of the best father figures out there.

Aarrrgh was there. Was great for the scenes he was in, but all together didn’t do much that altered the story.

Our Trollhunter, Jim Lake Jr. Someone I admire and basically see as my little brother/child. Kiddo really did it. I know everyone is upset that Jim’s arc was redone when we had the “Unbecoming” episode. If I could come to a peaceful middle ground, I saw we all need to blame Merlin. He really rocked Jim’s world and self worth. When the creator of the object you need to save the world with tells you “You’re not enough”, it really can be a great setback. But once we past that, Jim really pulled through. Amulet or not, he is our Trollhunter.

Mommy Dr. Lake was there. Barbara was mostly there for our emotions.

Dilf Strickler. I felt that he was changed a bit since we last saw him, but he had a new purpose. He was more cautious and happy because he had a chance at a happy life with Barbara. Which makes what happens to him more upsetting.

Nomura my sweet. This movie did not deserve you. At least she was with Draal.

And Not-Enrique (seriously why didn’t they ever give him an actual name) just wasn’t in the movie.

How about some CreepSlayers?

BABY ELI PEPPERJACK CAME BACK LOOKING SO CUTE. So proud.

Bumbling knight oaf Steve the Palchuckian was great as usual.

I will say though. The whole pregnancy plot was just a way to get Eli and Steve out of the way. I could feel that the writers maybe didn’t like Steve so much since Wizards. But Steve was once again someone to laugh at. Pregnant and out of the way.

How about some Akiridions?

Aja my darling girl, oh how you’ve grown. I understand some think she has changed. However I must say that her preparing a plan B on the side was smart. She isn’t just a princess on earth anymore. She is a queen on a distant planet. So if she thought evacuation was best, it would ensure that everyone would live. And avoid losing more valuable people from her life. So no, I can’t blame her.

DJ Kleb was there. He was kinda doin his own thing and messing with Steve. Brother-in-law stuff.

It was good to see Varvatos Vex.

Stu was the man in the background working on the busy important things like working on the amulet. Personally I feel like the series REALLY underutilizes Stu A LOT so I was so happy to see him being a part of something huge.

And finally some Wizards.

Douxie my love, you were amazing as usual. His powers have grown greatly and have contributed to the adventure. But god the writers really do love to take everything away from him don’t they. It’s unfair.

Archie was kinda just there and just... I understand leaving Douxie but that doesn’t mean I like it.

Nari the sweetest. I can only imagine the guilt she felt to end Nomura. Her self sacrifice was probably the one in the movie most called for.

Alright now I’ll talk about the movie.

I can whole heartedly say this movie was rushed. To be honest I feel like the original writers weren’t completely in this. At least it felt kind of not so much Trollhunters or 3Below vibes but more Wizards, if that makes sense whatsoever. Something is off.

I just want to blame Merlin for everything. To hell with that guy.

The beginning sequence was great. A car chase to a moving train. Which ends up with Toby of course screwing up and breaking the brakes. Of course. The train falling off the tracks which ultimately ends up with Nari gone. Oh yeah, and video recordings of Magic, trolls and being taken in by the police. Great.

WHY TF WAS TOBY TELLING THEIR STORY TO THE POLICE. YOU DON’T MIX THE POLICE IN STORIES UNLESS YOU KNOW THE COP PERSONALLY. CUZ IT’S A MESS AND THE POLICE GET IN THE WAY. GDI TOBY.

Our heroes go back to base on the new and improved Camelot. Where we discover that Barbara and Strickler are now engaged. Happy news and would secure that Jim has another Father figure in his life and his mother’s happiness. Which explains Strickler’s “stay behind” advice. Now he has a family to watch over. He must be careful and warns that Jim’s actions could cost so much that he might not be able to afford.

Enters our Majesty Aja and the new stud on the block, Eli. Dang I wish puberty hit me like that.Truck-kun strikes again. And also enters... the pregnancy thing. I will say, I didn’t mind it too much... at first. But there are complications. Steve is too young to be a father and dang 7 kisses?? I can’t help but feel like Aja should have mentioned that or it was a last minute plan to write out Steve and Eli. (Which it was.) It was funny sure cuz omegaverse and ALIENS but all together it’s really iffy.

They really had Douxie preform a body-swap spell only so it would be undone. And undoing the spell only hurt them both?? C’mon. C’mon.

And they mention the Krohnisfere. We’ll get back to it. Jim gets a brand new amulet infused with Akaridion tech. However theres an issue. It was created by Merlin right? Who is a wizard right? Who uses MAGIC. Shame Douxie wasn’t there to help make it. Ya know. 1/2 of the original creator of the AMULET. So it’s missing a huge part and for the sake of the plot, Jim doesn’t test the Amulet which is out of character personally.

Toby makes a silly big deal over a penny. I was actually hoping they would make it a silly Chekhov's gun later on. But no, it’s just Toby being loud and comedic relief.

The titans are released and we visit a very pregnant Steve. Ok so it’s a rushed kind of thing. ok.

Aja suggests evacuation. You can say it’s out of character but we need context. When Aja helped in the Doomsday Battle, she was ensured a way out but if she let the people of Arcadia perish. She decided to stay and help. But now the Trollhunter himself can’t help. So to ensure the survival of everyone, evacuation. A best chance for everyone to survive. Plus she is now a Queen. She rules over a whole planet which must change her thinking.

Now our characters are split into 3 teams:

Blinky, Archie, Archie’s dad and Claire for the Krohnisfere.

Jim, Aja, Toby, Strickler and Barbara for the Glacial Titan.

Nomura, Douxie and Aarrgh for the Earth Titan.

Now here is where I have problems. WHY. DID. THEY. SEND. TROLLS. TO. BRAZIL. IN. THE. DAY. Nomura dying was just so out of pocket. Unnecessary. I couldn’t even grieve properly I didn’t have a chance to process. The best thought I could think was “At least she’s with Draal now.” 10 seconds later, Strickler makes the choice to sacrifice himself. Because of Jim’s heroic’s, Strickler decided to try to save the most important people in his life. The person who was always dishonest finally had a chance to live a happy life with his family. The one who played it safe now had to make the final impulsive move. And unfortunately, his death was in vain. These deaths were just so forced. It wasn’t in any way good. And Strickler being one of the best written characters just going in such a way was just off. He died for nothing. He could have turned back and fought another battle but... no.

(BTW Barbara was just there... for Strickler’s death.)

We move to Babara and Jim having a heart to heart. I’m glad she didn’t blame Jim but a small moment of anger. Something a little more real for me but no I guess. Barbara will always just be Jim’s mom. She mention’s Jim’s father and it passed so quickly I missed it on my initial viewing. I’m happy that Jim’s father is never revealed or made a bigger part in his story. This is good representation for those of us who did have our fathers walk out on us. That we can grow despite our parents failing us.

And finally team Krohnisfere. Archie just leaves. He’s gone. Poor Douxie. A mentor and now his closest companion.

Our heroes meet up to go against the Volcanic Titan. In comes Varvatos Vex on a Gun Robot. Nice to see some good ol Gundam with a character mentioned throughout the entire trilogy. However it doesn’t last. BTW for the sake of survival, Aja leaves Jim and Toby. Iffy.

Douxie pulls a “Jason stop. This isn’t you.” thing with Nari and is reunited with his friend.(+ points for the shippers. It’s kinda winning me over?) Also, Claire now has the power to teleport a Titan. I know she’s much stronger than she was for the Trollhunters Sn 2 finale, but cmon. You can’t just say she’s out of magic juice and then pull this. C’mon.

(btw did the titan make a War of the Worlds tripod sound? No? Just me?)

Nari sacrifices herself and takes the other god with her. Which takes away Douxie’s other companion. Mr. Stark I don’t feel so good. Why does this movie hate Douxie so much. (I am so sorry shippers. Angst.)

BLINKY DIDN’T SEE A PAGE? ADDRESSING IT IN THE SHOW DOESN’T GIVE YOU A PASS. I forgot the word but this irony isn’t greatttt.

Jim now has to pull out the legendary sword Excalibur. But he can’t cuz he hasn’t harnessed the power of friendship.

And Steve is giving birth. At the worst time. What is this a zombie movie??? C’mon.

Jim says “Magic is friendship” And Stu is finally being used for one grand act. Seriously Stu is just so unappreciated. So he fixes the amulet with magic.

Basically everyone who went on top of the Volcanic titan falls off at some point. Except Jim cuz of course some 1v1.

ONCE AGAIN Claire is out of magic juice. Because... reasons.

Toby makes the choice to race to Jim’s side with the technology to cancel out magic. (Wait how does science stop magic again)

BTW, For the Good of all doesn’t hit as well BUT it’s not mentioning any glory towards stinky Merlin so I am happy with the change.

JIM HAS A NEW TRANSFORMATION. MY BOY. MY SON. I’M SO PROUD.

Toby races to Jim and his helmet falls off the taco truck. That honestly should have been a huge warning sign. I was worried he didn’t have armor but we know how this goes.

Jim defeats the final titan and everyone is happy. The fight is finally over.

STEVE HAS 7 KIDS. OUCH.

Seeing Jim run to Toby was heartbreaking. Now this is the one scene where the movie really let out actually process a character’s death. How on earth can you process your best friend, your most faithful companion dying. Jim goes through too much I swear to god.

Now let’s discuss the time travel plot. I honestly feel like they pulled some kind of Attack on Titan ending. The main character burdened with knowing the future and what could have been. And if everything is meant to be how it will be, destiny will reconnect them again. (Jlaire reincarnation AU???)

I’m actually ok with this ending. I understand people would want the time stone to return only a few minutes. But even then, the kiddos still have police records, so many people dead at the titan’s hands (or feet) and now the world knows about the existence of trolls thanks to the internet. In New York no less. And people are still dead.

We return the the beginning of everything, reflecting the “Unbecoming” episode.

(NGL I’m bothered that they didn’t do anything to stop Steve from bullying Eli, but Jim can’t do it. He’s saving it for Toby.)

And now finally, let’s discuss Toby becoming the Trollhunter. From the beginning, Toby never considered himself good enough to be the main star. Always the wingman, the 2nd best. Support. Now it was Toby’s turn to climb the ranks and be the Hero he’s always wanted to be. It’s Jim’s turn to live an easier high school life. I don’t doubt that he won’t follow Toby. But now he knows what to avoid and how to make the story process more smoothly.

I understand some are unsatisfied with this ending, which is kinda trademarked with Dreamwork’s shows. I get it. But honestly as of right now, I think I like the ending.

The amulet didn’t choose Jim because this Jim is not the same Jim as in Sn 1 Ep 1. He is a new man. And I think we all can agree that it’s his turn to be happy.

---

I still love this series so much. It is my favorite cartoon. Of course it has it’s flaws, but this ending is at least satisfactory and not heartbreaking. Now it’s up to us to either continue the story or contribute our ideas in fanfiction. I look forward to everyone’s creations.

Don’t think. Become.

#rise of the titans #rott spoilers #trollhunters rott #wizards rott #3below rott #Trollhunters #3below #wizards #tales of arcadia #toa trollhunters #toa 3below #toa wizards #toa

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i-prefer-the-term-antihero · 3 years

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Additionally, your thoughts on Dracula and Adrian from the Netflix adaptation of Castlevania? I find Dracula really tragic, and the ending scene of Season 2 crushed me because I was not expecting Adrian to cry. He’s usually so stoic and calm that I didn’t think he would weep, I expected him to just shrug it off like heroes usually do, but no, when given time to process everything, the first thing he does is break down into tears. Sypha was right in calling him a brooding teen in an adult body.

Ohh man. If you just take a look at my writing blog (or anywhere I post my fanfiction) it’ll become pretty clear pretty quickly how I feel about them XD So far all my Castlevania fics have been about the Tepes Family. Adrian and Drac are my favorite characters in the series!! (Though I do love pretty much all the characters in it.)

YES YES YES!!

They did an incredible job making Drac sympathetic and tragic. I don’t know if you know anything about the games, and granted, they couldn’t put a lot of story stuff in the games, but (at least as far as I’m aware) in most of them it’s like “ya, he was an evil dude who did evil things because he was evil.” So it actually would have been pretty accurate to the source to make him just an unsympathetic, irredeemable villain, but they didn’t and I LOVE them for it. Playing Symphony of the Night (Alucards game) after watching the series l was almost longing for that Drac I know and love from the series, (though it’s fun to see evil Drac too).

As I’ve said, I adore redeemable villains, and they did an amazing job with him, to the point where pretty much everyone in the fandom adores him, which is extremely tough to accomplish—even if you write a redeemable villain well, often large parts of the fandom don’t see it and hate the character. I knew that the point was that they were going to defeat Drac but I have to say, especially since I originally knew nothing of the games, I was hoping they’d save him by the end.

I think the fact that he liked and was kind to Hector and Isaac was evidence that he wasn’t too far gone. I mean, the only two people he genuinely trusted and liked in his court were human…that’s so interesting, I wish it was at least talked about, either in the show or in the fandom. I think he actually liked humans, partially or especially because of Lisa, he just...was so angry, and needed someone to blame. He probably ultimately blamed himself for not being there to save her, and it was just easier to blame the humans he once hated/didn’t understand, even if in reality he didn’t hate them as much as he thought he did...

Doing more thinking and research into the show for my “If These Walls Could Talk” fic I recognize now that symbolically it made sense even within the show that he died when Lisa died (which I can explain more about if you want but id probably end up going off on a long tangent so I’ll save it)...but I still thought practically, in the show, he could have still been redeemed.

Omg I LOVED that. The longer I take to sit with it, the more I realize just how much I loved that they put him crying instead of shaking it off.

It’s very interesting that Drac and Alucard are more openly emotional characters. I might be totally wrong, but as far as I remember, they (...and Lisa when she dies, and probably Isaac in a flashback), are the only main characters we see openly cry. It’s a pretty bold move to make any of your characters emotional like that, but especially your villain, and your bold handsome hero. It’s sooo easy to get emotional characters and emotions wrong…or just offputting to some people...but more on that later.

I think Adrian and Drac are both rather sentimental, in an odd way. Much of Drac’s motivations in the show and even in the games (the times his motivations are explained) had to do with his wives (yes he was married before Lisa in the games...unless Lament of Innocence was retconned...) which is interesting. So many of his decisions are based on emotion. He lets Lisa in just because he likes her, he goes to war with the world because of Lisa, he sits in his study mourning her loss, he let’s Alucard kill him… I also notice very often he digs his nails into his palms until they bleed, presumably because if he didn’t he’d hurt someone else (in the scene where he hurts Alucard, he does this). His sentimentality doesn’t diminish is power as a villain, which is SO difficult to accomplish.

I am emotional myself so I absolutely love to see emotional characters, but for most people, seeing even a normal character be emotional diminishes them in their eyes, or makes them whiny, so making your villain even a little emotional, and having that not take away from the audiences perception of their power as a villain is sooooooo hard to do, and I applaud them for making a so well-beloved, and still villainous and intimidating, but also emotional (at times) villain.

For Alucard. I don’t see any problem with him being emotional, but it makes even more sense if he’s a teen in an adult’s body—which was indeed portrayed quite well.

Yes that was interesting when he cried when drawing his parents!! I wasn’t expecting that when I saw him drawing them. I was enjoying and intrigued by his story so much, then when he started crying I was caught off guard—but in a good way. It really made me feel for him, and understand that he was still grieving his mother, and that knew the gravity of what he was currently doing.

I think it’s kind of important to show that kind of thing in a situation like this. It’s easy to think Alucard hates his dad, and they need to show the emotion of the situation to make it clear “no he doesn’t hate his dad, this actually breaks his heart, he just knows he has to do this.”

I loved when he was telling Trevor and Sypha about how much the world would lose by killing Dracula. It’s really interesting that he hides his emotion with them, and that Trevor and Sypha are so stoic. The son of Dracula isn’t the guy you expect to be the only hero who cries.

In “For Love” when Trevor’s like “Don’t get weepy about it” I was sitting there, sobbing, like “No, please get weepy about it! Let the boy cry for goodness sake!! Give me some emotion!!” But I too was not expecting him to cry like he did, and in grieving the death of his parents...

I knew the crying scene was coming because I’d seen pictures of it on here and pinterest, but I had no context for it. In the end it wasn’t just the weeping itself that made the scene so impactful, it was everything surrounding it. I didn’t know it would happen when he was completely alone (and would be for the foreseeable future), and in grieving his parents, or about the ghosts/flashbacks before it (cementing his grief), or that it was literally the last scene of the season, or that there would be no music for both the scene and the credits thereafter.

And that was what really got me.

Because, firstly, we never got to see any flashbacks to his childhood, and that was what I was begging for the entire series (and hence why its what I write about). To finally get it, and it not to just be something the audience gets to see, but something Alucard himself is seeing... a happy memory he’s seeing when he knows that is completely gone, he cannot hope to have it again, and for him to now be in his father’s place…that’s heartbreaking. Like just having your character cry—let alone those kinds of full-on sobs—is painful enough, showing a son grieving his parents is a particularly heart wrenching kind of sadness, but showing that he is haunted by memories of those parents he lost—not only lost but one of which he killed, and, if SOTN is canon for the show, the other of which he could have saved—of a happy childhood, and he is alone with these memories for the foreseeable future...that is truly heart wrenching.

Also the scene with Trevor and Sypha in the wagon earlier in the episode was super sweet, they could have easily put the Adrian crying scene earlier, and had the Trevor and Sypha scene be the last scene of the season (and Trevor’s game actually does end with them looking into the sunset, so ending with the last scene of “For Love” would be accurate as well), and left it on a positive note, and the audience would have been left with a completeness. But they made a conscious choice put his crying scene last, and it was so powerful, because it made you remember that at the end of the day, he isn’t just our bold handsome hero, he was a son who lost both his parents, and that, to him, this isn’t really a triumph, but a loss. It also kinda confirmed that Drac wasn’t an "evil guy, end of story". That there was reason to grieve him, and to show his son grieving, and to leave it there because of it. It was a personal gravity too

In the end, it was the lack of music in the scene, and even more so during the credits, so theres only his tears, and all you are left with in the end is this amplified emptiness that really did me in. I think I literally sat there, tear tracks on my face, my mouth open when I hit the credits.

Playing Symphony of the Night after watching the show is really interesting in exploring his character. I knew there was very little story, so I wasn’t expecting much from the story, but I actually found that I was beyond excited whenever there actually was some story, and the few lines they did say are stuck with me.

Maria comments early on that Alucard’s not very good at talking. At first I just chalked it up to...weird translations or whatever. But the more I played the game and the more I thought about him in the show...I think she’s right. He’s not very good at talking, yet if and when he does talk he’s quite eloquent, and precise with his words. (This actually makes him a somewhat difficult character to write). I wonder if perhaps this has some connection to his emotionalness. He’s very careful with what he says, and this may spread to what he does—such as being careful when he shows emotion. I’m curious why he’s like this. It could just be his nature, but I wonder if as a kid he was ever hated because he was a vampire—maybe people made fun of him, and he cried, and they made more fun of him because of it—and he learned both to hide his emotions, and that he had to be very deliberate and show people he didn’t mean any ill will with his words. (And he looks older than he is so people might call him immature for acting his mental age). All very speculative, of course. But it’d be fun to write about!

Also, another thing from SOTN that is related to this topic, there was a fight that really struck me (enough I actually wrote a fic about it (inverted recurrence)). SOTN takes plays 300 years after the events of The Netflix Series (aka Dracula’s Curse). Most of the bosses don’t seem to have a lot of meaning story-wise, they’re just there for you to fight. The other day I (Alucard) walked into a boss room...and there were Trevor, Sypha, and Grant (who was omitted from the Netflix series). They were fake versions of them, of course. And there’s no dialogue in the fight so maybe I’m just speculating, but what struck me was that the fact that Dracula could use them against him probably means he still cares about them, even after 300 years. It probably also means that they’re some of the only friends he’s ever had. Granted, he was asleep for a good chunk of those 300 years, still. It goes back to that sentimental-ness I was talking about earlier.

I few years ago I watched the Gravity Falls commentaries, and from them I got a lot of the writing advice I still think about and use today. Alex Hirsch said something on this subject which I really liked which is “Hold your tears.” When a character cries they’ve broken, that’s as far as they can go. So if you make a character cry when the audience themselves doesn’t feel the weight of the scene, or it doesn’t feel like the character has broken yet, it can feel like too...much/cheesy, and distance the audience. especially with cartoons where the way it’s drawn can actually affect your sympathy for the character (it can look weird or accentuated).

They did such an awesome job with this by literally holding his tears until the very end. I don’t know how other, non-emotional people felt about it, but Ive don’t know if I’ve ever seen tears used so well in a show, pack such a punch. To have it not just be a part of the scene but literally the focus, and at the end...it was powerful.

Sorry for the long response, and more importantly, I’m beyond sorry for taking so so SOOO long to respond. I hope you enjoy my response, if you see it <3

P.S. For anyone else who made it all the way to the end, I actually have a Castlevania sideblog now: @symphonyofthewrite !! I’d be beyond happy to recieve asks like this over there, if you’d like to hear more of my thoughts!!

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yeoldontknow · 4 years

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Kissing Vermilion: Teaser

aslkdjal i am so much more late with this than i intended to be. getting the pace right on this is proving to be a challenge BUT! heres a small sample of what im trying to have completed by next weekend. this was meant to be up yesterday for joons BD but i was busy and couldnt write as much as i wanted to :((( you can all thank @jamaisjoons for the utter filth that this will become. happy birthday namjoon im sorry im late and will continue to be late *tosses confetti* (sorry theres no graphic im saving it for the full thing eep)

↠ Pairing: Namjoon x Reader ↠ Full Story Summary: It was never your intention to sleep with your brother’s best friend, but it happened. It was never your intention to fall in love with him, but it happened. It was never his intention to fall in love with you, either, but it’s happening. Against his better judgement, Namjoon just can’t seem to stay away from you. ↠ Genre: fwb!au; smut; angst; the full story is going to be the most filth ive ever written im so sorry ↠ Rating (teaser): R ↠ Warnings (teaser): nothing terribly smutty but she thinks about it...a lot...theres a lot of mature concepts here ↠ Tentative post date: 9/19

March, 2013

You really must remember to thank your roommate.

As the condensation rolls down the chilled glass of your vodka lemonade, the eyes of the man beside you do their best to stay focused on the lush crimson of your lipstick. Every now and then, at the end of a sentence or at the end of a joke that does not necessarily land, his brows narrow, ensuring his gaze does not fall, lower and lower still, to the provocative shape of the red dress that hugs your body. For the moment, he is nameless, an unintroduced stranger whose eye you caught just by standing next him and ordering a drink. You have not let him go, even as your mind wanders. Or, rather, it's the red that refuses to let him go, red and the way the shade kisses you with reverence.

All your life red has been your dearest companion, your first of many experiences and your best of even more. Red was your first lipstick, a scarlet transgression against your mother at twelve years old. It was sacred only because it was forbidden, the cream from the bullet now a fleeting memory of cracked concrete behind your middle school and the wide eyes of boys passing by, likely wondering if they should tell your brother. Red was your first Solo cup, and the first you’d crushed beneath your spine as you lost your virginity sophomore year.

Red was not your first hickey, and also not your first scarf to cover the evidence, but it was your best one, your most favourite one. It was small, and it burned against your skin for days, the same way your nails ripped scarlet down your boyfriend’s back, the scratches stinging beneath all his shirts. He’d said he loved you, and you believed him, giving him red as a promise of your loyalty. Red was the wine you poured in his bed and the flush against your chest when you found him with another woman, her legs too slow in the effort of unwinding from his hips. Red was his lies, your slap against his cheek, and the paint of Yoongi's car, which you'd borrowed to not lose your campus parking spot.

Red has always been yours, oftentimes the only thing you trust, the only thing that has never let you down. Now, it sits on your skin like you belong to it. You chose the dress for the shade, your roommate made you buy it because of the shape. You don't usually toy with such a deep cut against your back, a low swoop as alluring as the moon and turning the line of your spine into a promise of treasure or victory. But this red turns you into something special, something dangerous.

And now, with his eyes on you, you really must remember to thank her.

The man beside you flashes you a smile he thinks he is dazzling, rolling the base of his whiskey neat in slow circles against the bar top. He waits for you to flush, anticipating a rush of blood to your cheeks or your lips, but you merely offer him a thin lipped smile, remembering to be polite. His eyes dart from your face to the seductive contour of your hips, and back again, and he tries to be respectful, tries to play it off like he's positively twitterpatted, but you can tell. You can always tell.

As his eyes flick away once more, admiring the supple skin of your shoulder, you wonder if you would be interested. Your mind starts to wander for a moment, and you envision yourself leaning close and letting him have his fill. It would be so terribly easy, and you'd let him feel like he'd won even if you had no intention of it going any further than this. If it was just you and just him, you'd be good. At the end of all his jokes, you would laugh and peer at him through the thick curtain of your lashes. At all the right places, you'd rest your hand on his arm and make him believe he mattered. For one night, you would be so good.

But his eyes are on you, the searing heat of Namjoon's intense and focused stare kisses at the small of your back from across the room. He sits at a table with your large group of friends, expression entirely neutral except for the power that lurks ominously in his jaw and dark irises. His gaze has walked from the small of your back to settle at the warm highlight of your cheekbone, and, now, you are aching. Feeling him all over you is just the same as feeling his hands at your throat, your heartbeat rattling in your chest as though lingering on a knife's edge. There's something different about it tonight, about him. There's something different about the way you feel under his unwavering attention, and somewhere amidst the laughing and the talking and the indiscernible number of drinks you have convinced this stranger to buy you, you have started to learn you want Namjoon to stay.

Tonight, you are learning that his attention makes a kingdom bloom beneath your skin, amongst your blood, and you are asking, silently willing, him to claim it.

You should not want him here. You should not want him nestling into crevices long untouched, and long unnoticed. Namjoon unfurls in the spaces between your bones and your joints, curling into the gaps between your ribs, and you wonder if he can feel it. Have you done the same to him, just by standing, and talking, and quietly wanting? If you're being honest, you've always wanted him, at least a little. If you're honest, you can distantly remember the time your brother brought him over their final year of high school and he had grown into the baby fat of his cheeks, his white shirt somehow battling the muscles of his chest for dominance, and his smile, and the dimples he so often kept a secret, felt sweeter to you than honey.

If you're honest, it was your family, the proximity of your relationship to him that decided he was not for you. There’s something forbidden about craving a person you’ve known all your life, someone your brother has spent his whole life calling his best friend. It was your family, and it was Yoongi, who made you turn away from your infatuation. You were eighteen when you finally swallowed your crush on Namjoon whole, convinced you had rid yourself of it while taking the appropriate lesson you were meant to learn: you no longer wanted a boy, you deserved a man, your hunger to be touched deserving of confident, unyielding hands.

So you set your attention on other guys learning how to grow into their adulthood - even if they had never mastered the strength or dominance of it, even if they never tasted quite right against your tongue. It’s been a long time since you have wanted him to look at you like this, even longer since someone has done so without demanding you witness them, without expecting you to bend for them.

Namjoon looks at you like you matter, like you're something worth keeping. He watches you intently, refusing to look away until you are certain he could devour the very flesh of you, and still find away to take more, still find ways to keep all your lonely parts begging for him. He looks at you like he needs you, simultaneously uncovering the terrifying truth that you have always needed him, and as the man beside you slides his phone number over to you on a napkin, a number you know you will lose or forget as soon as it is out of your line of sight, you are certain you are toeing a line that, once crossed, offers no point of return.

'You should come see it.’ Abruptly, your thoughts are broken by the gruff voice of your conversation partner. Raising his voice slightly, he regards you knowingly, silently insisting your attention return to him. 'I think you'd like it.'

Ever since he started speaking to you the conversation has been mundane, likely because every topic of discussion has somehow revolved around or worked its way back to him. There’s an edge of pride in his voice, the sort that expects respect alongside awe for his, ultimately banal, accomplishments. Offering him a small, lopsided smile, you tilt your head to the side and feign interest, exposing more of your smooth skin.

'Oh?' you hum, amused that even something as simple and unaffected as this noise of inquiry will provide him a sense of self-security.

'Yeah, I can show you around.’ He takes a long, slow sip of his whiskey, as if his statement is a promise of something meaningful. ‘You can bring some friends, too, if you want. I admit, the frat is a mess but it's still a good time.'

You’ve forgotten which university he goes to, where he’s from, his name. Idly, you wonder if he’s a member of Namjoon’s friend group, though you doubt it. Over time, your college friends have merged together, Sunhee’s interest in Jackson bringing them together since she met him at the gym. You’re meant to be celebrating her birthday at the table, beside your friends and beside Namjoon. Removing yourself from his orbit has proven to be a test, but, at this angle, Namjoon sees all of you, keeps you rooted to this position at the bar just so he can have his fill, and this, you think, is hardly a sacrifice.

Having nothing to say, you simply nod, offering yet another generic question that will keep him talking and keep Namjoon watching you. 'All frat houses are a mess,' you shrug amiably. 'Do you like the campus?'

Immediately, he begins nodding, lips flattening into a sly grin. 'Yeah, it's a nice place. A little cloistered at times. If you stay too long you feel like you're in a bubble, you know? But I chose it because the law program...'

Tuning his voice out, your focus returns to the raised hair and gooseflesh that dimples along your arms. It’s been months of this, of your friend groups coming together to play matchmaker in the effort of being supportive, and through all of this you have become acquainted with who Namjoon really is when he’s liberated from the influence of childhood. Without your hometown, Yoongi’s deep laugh, or the distant chatter of your parents in the other room, Namoon’s identity has stretched and morphed into something almost unrecognizable in its alluring temptation.

Yoongi makes him warm, soft, a voice of wisdom and reason that has, more often not, left you feeling comforted and protected. At home, he is clumsy, sheepishly so, endearing in the way he trips over his own feet or drops things even if he’s being careful. Namjoon laughs first, even if his laugh is not always the easiest. He is the most curious and, simultaneously, the most distant, miles away in his thoughts even as he considers every word you say. And even tonight, he still is this way, the rich texture of his voice ringing out above the din when he laughs, genuine and encouraging, doing his best to make sure everyone feels comfortable.

But the more you’ve seen him with friends he’s made by choice and by interest, university friends who both challenge and offer a mode of relating to his own adulthood, the more you have watched him separate from the things that made him Joonie. He has become someone who carries eroticism in their bones, his smile no longer just a comfort, but one that is altogether too full of temptation even in its patient inertia.

The confidence in him has your tongue feeling heavy in your mouth every time he's with you, your walls clenching around nothing every time he looks at one of your friends with more than a little interest. Joonie has abandoned the childhood endearment in favor of his whole name, Namjoon a word that gets pressed against his neck and shoulders like a brand. He’s become fluent in more than one language and also in the destructive language of ruin, a single look from him and you feel naked all the way down to your nerves.

Reclining in his seat, his hand moves languidly up and down the glass of his cold beer while he remains poised in his consideration of you, your round ass, and the way you lick your lips to keep them moist when you presume no one is watching. His broad shoulders are rolled back and even when you aren’t looking at him, even when he is not directly in your line of sight, you still toy with the idea of getting on your knees and begging him. For what, you are not certain, but you think it is likely the simple request to stay with him, wherever your feet, your finger, or your bones rest.

You’d like him to invade you like that. You’re certain he’d excel at such a carnal delight.

#HAPPY BIRTHDAY NAMJOON #its coming i swear #not tagging a whole shebang because?#its just a teaser lmao #enjoy

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smallestclowninthecircus · 3 years

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Tma season 2 notes baybeee

I made myself take several breaks so I could give my frie d who is listening to it at the same time as me a chance to catch up. Honestly just posting them so I have them saved somewhere but whatever.

ep 41: real graham wrote keep watching before he was replaced. Jon feels like he's being watched. But they werent replaced by things related to the eye. It's the web that's on the box that replaces them. Endless hallways and doors to nowhere. I bet nicholas will have ideas what entity this relates to. If it even does. They're like the tunnels in the one with the builder guy. Tunnels closing in etc. Also like the cave diving one. He's assuming it's just one

ep 42: so 100 gecs? (IM SORRY I LIKE 100 GECS BUT LMAO) so there's some entity related to music right? There's the piper episode and the 27 w/ the calliope. Ah yes, this season is gonna be the season of Paranoid!Jon

ep 43: section 31? fucking books. god no. smashed lights? cult lady did that. covered the lights too. she mentioned a spooky clown doll. thats not random.

ep 44: is this that same circus that got mentioned before? it is! the pipe organ! pop off organ! pipe off! mouth on the stomach! yes! mouths in unusual places my beloved!

ep 45: antiques! like that one ep!

ep 46: every time books get mentioned i sigh. hhh sus smells. it got brighter. I get the vibes occasionally that the dark and the eye are sorta at odds with eachother. GRRR BARK BARK LEITNER. ayyy ex altiora. entity go brr. which entity do we thing it is? my guess is The Dark. The book buyer's name is Mike. He has scars? Electricity? The childhood friend of the guy who got it later on perhaps? The Vast? its formatted like an entity idk. This happened before the other one. He got trapped in the wood carving. a win for the web lol spiders go brr

ep 47: did i hear spiral? ITS THE NOT THING FROM THE EPISODE WITH NOT GRAHAM "it didnt move, it shifted" is like the exact same sentence as before. ay john's starting to remember. the laughing woah thats weird. is "michael" one of the entities? "you make it seem like theres a war" supports my theory that theres a struggle between a couple of the entities. I said i thought it was the eye and the dark i believe but im not sure. its whatever entity michael is vs the worms? what did nicholas say the worms were again? The Corruption? still dont know which one michael is tho.

Had to take a break after that episode. smth about the quality of michael's voice makes me feel like im gonna slip into one of those states where it feels like nothing is real, so i got a nice cold glass of water.

ep 48: jesus ok this one's kidna corny. you're telling me love made the crowd go away come on now. Ur losing it big J. also shouldnt it be more sus that "sasha" is so unaffected by the worm incident/ finding of gertrude's body

ep 49: haven't we heard hector's name before? oh is he the crime guy? fucking jared... so it's a throat? chompa chompa. (it's just a little bit hot) the good part about these episodes is that we know whoever's telling the story isn't gonna die. even if it's a close call, they're not dead. hotworth? ok not jared keay. it bothers me how theres so many repeated names, can they not come up with other names? "sasha"'s computer is breaking... sus. Elias our favorite weed man! jon ur so paranoid lmao

ep 50: robert smirk, at it again. this is like that one episode with the old dude who locked his door. who said idle beforehand? was it smirk? fingertips. thats so weird lmao. bahahah tim

ep 51: simon fairchild. im sure jon will mention the name at the end i cant remember where we've heard it. this is just like the cavediving episode. a hand? there was a hand in the last one right? the scalpel! and an eye thing. she's trying to throw them off.

ep 52: thats the guy from before! with the hearts! god i hate this guy writing the statement hh. lights blowing, and brackish water. we know how this ends but its still tense. rainer? reigner? rain man. we've seen him before

ep 53: pls not a leitner. oh boy mans scratched out his eyes. rip skelly. why would gertrude have had this statement off the books? jon stabbed himself?? bruh im? big man are you okay

ep 54: cockney boys! ayy its our favorite delivery men. she cut out their eyes. she knew that the eye was a thing?

ep 55: oily residue like the retirement home!

ep 56: worms? no. spiders?? bruhh. aaah yelling :(( aww martin anyways yeah i called it about paranoid!jon he needs to take a nap and drink some hot chocolate and calm down for once please

ep 57: just remembered, i think theres an entity called The Lonely?? This feels pretty lonely idk. fairchild, lukas/ lucas, some spooky place in norway idk. "sasha" knew he was recordinig hmm suspicious cmon jon figure it out. Sasha and tom. hm sus. for records sake i feel liek i should note here that I did have it spoiled to me simply that that's not sasha, but thats really all. i assumed it was like the thing that happened to graham in S1

ep 58: i feel like i recognize the name eustice (?) wick. someone please tell me im not just watching jon's descent into madness over the course of this podcast. im hoping it isnt so but, (and pardon the dsmp reference) im getting real wilbur vibes from this one.

ep 59: oh dear ok account from the fielding house. swirling designs? Spiral time? oh boyy. oh wait! 6 inch hole in the middle! is it not a spiderweb type design on the table? thats what i had assumed but that description sounds more like a spiral thing. cobwebs is a Web thing. ayy nicholas was right! the box goes in the table! the place that she kissed him was burning. Raymond is an avatar of The Web and agnes is the burning one. Lightless Flame! Why did she save him? i guess she was against this guy eating ppl or wtvr but why was she at the halfway house then? I think she's like michael.

ep 60: the eye go brr

ep 61: breacon and hope once again. tom. sasha's boyfriend. vampires sleep in coffins. the guy just walking in seems similar to the mind control of the vampires

ep 62: bones! its that one leitner. is this mother keay? the mom of gerard? this is what happened to her right? her skin was found on hooks? oh yeah thats what i thought the pages are made of skin. yeesh. The End!! sounds like an entity. phrased like one, and i think i remember it. are the people trapped in the pages? or... kept?

ep 63: eaten by the darkness! cavediving episode! (just like eaten by the sky) did my brain make up one called The Vast? it feels like it should be one, and all these episodes have some similar description about their feelings when they do whatever chosen hobby they have. ok now this one kinda feels like the dark. lights going out and all that. ok so not really a The Vast thing, its more of a Dark thing. feckin smirk gah.

ep 64: dice! the death guy! the death game thing! the person tricked somebody else into becoming death and then they were immortal? but if the egyptians wanted to kill him or punish him or whatever couldnt they just kill him? it worked in the end when he had the person giving the statement stab him, that did the job and actually killed him

ep 65: finally jon is actually acknowledging something is wrong.

So we know Mary Keay was revived most likely with the book by gerard.

Gertrude was way more aware of the entities than Jon. mary keay referenced The End openly and she cut the eyes out of her magazines and all that which makes me think she was aware of The Eye

ep 66: please not buried alive pleeaase not buried alive. lukas of the tundra? didnt we hear the name lukas before? she wanted it to be difficult to find important files because that way bad people couldnt find them?

ep 67: agnes... the girl in the hilltop house? agnes poppin off!! he's really not gonna question how she knew where he lived?? oh no D: the tree. were they the ones working on the house? aww they kissi- OH DEAR. why did she kiss him? it seemed like she cared about him? also she could kiss that other dude on the cheek and he was fine, but maybe it was cuz she was younger? lightless flame go brrrrr.

ep 68: oh god books. yup its bitchboy leitner. mans said "this seems supernatural, its a werd book!" bruuh.

ep 69: heh nice. aw cmon jon listen to martin. gahhh spiders. is that the class we heard about in the other doctor one with the teeth apple? some kind of psych class? oh dear. fucking spiders. aaaah. web do be goin brr. it's like the girl in the homeless shelter! who made the guy leave and she took his bed.

ep 70: is this gonna be the book that mary keay had? Most likely a leitner no matter what. Oh boy latin. Why did it start in latin then become old English? I'm guessing people put them in the book? He cant burn it. Phrophecies go brr. He says eh it's a decade in the future it's fine. Its gonna have changed. Ayy called it. Just accept it, it's a magic book. His death is getting closer. Leitner didnt make them but just collected them? Gertrude burned the book! She burned them down there so no one would know.

ep 71: oh boy tunnels. Our favorite thing /s. is The Buried a thing? Idk this seems pretty buried. Oh dear he's trapped here isnt he. "Not enough space to move, never enough to breathe" is that from the computer episode? With the guy who uploaded his consciousness? Somebody living down there. Hmmmm. Guesses: tom, sasha's boyfriend. Gertrude herself? (Though I doubt it)

ep 72: sweeney todd moment. Meat. The slaughter? Idk we'll see what the supernatural part is. Meat is meat. Similar to the slaughterhouse episode. Is it fucking Jared I swear to God it better not be. Hooligan teenagers, you know how it is. Meat is me lmao. Is the kid gonna be in the freezer. Ok that's good. OWW. Oddly textured candles. Made from people? Human fat or smth? Tom from the meat processing plant!

ep 73: outer bay shipping. Bet it's a subset of breacon and hope delivery. The Dark go brrr. Uh oh mans is gonna die. Leo or whatever. Cult ppl go brr. The people's church of the divine host. Who is the divine host? Is it reigner or whatever his name is? I dont think Jon can quit tbh. Probably an anonymous tip but from who?? One of the entities?

ep 74: fucking teeth hhh. I dont know which entity is related to teeth. Spiral. Isnt the spiral an entity. It feels like it could be related to many things idk. Yeah this sounds like the spiral. Heart attack at 29? Jesus... michael! That's kinda what I was thinking. Sasha goin in the tunnels. Hmm sus. They move the floor. Wack. Bet its tom.

ep 75: Man with a lightning scar. Has one of the leitner books. The childhood friend of the one who first introduced us to leitner. Oh my god that sounds terrifying. Michael crew.

ep 76: scalpel? Hmm spooky. NotSasha... think jon think.

ep 77: another double! NotThem, The Stranger. Not related to the table?

ep 78: what was that at the beginning? Question mark?? Oh boy more NotThem. Decker... what is the deal with the table. Does it contain the creature? Fucking Michael. Bitchboi himself.

ep 79: yes pop off martin. Ugh fucking Michael just leave man. I hate that dude. New person. Hmm. No idea who it is.

ep 80: shitener himself! Ok sir tell us the entities. Ayy The Spiral. Ok we know what that one is. The Eye is the beholding! Oooh. The Stranger. Did elias just kill leitner? Popping off honestly.

#Neptune tma notes

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hellsbellschime · 3 years

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Let’s go down the list shall we:

Katherine: gets impregnated with child out of wedlock, child torn away from her right after birth. Her entire sympathy arc is based on a child she didn’t even connect with.

Rebekah: Believes her trashy life will all be fixed with a hello kitty bandaid if she just had Kids and a Hubby, (when all she needs to do is get away from her toxic brothers and experience life on her own)

Isobel Flemming: Teen mom ™ who regrets child but loves child who wants child but doesn’t want child, who looses child because the guy is a coward, leads person who clearly wants to use/kill child to said child, then turns around and says I love child. (It’s like they couldn’t stick to a single villain arc because how could a mother possibly not care about her child when even the shitty dad does all the while having eight different dad hates child story lines sitting in the back burner.)

Valerie Tulle: gets pregnant with Stefan’s child and has child LITERALLY beaten out of her, has child PHYSICALLY beaten to death inside her, is pushed to the fucking ground and kicked in the stomach till child dies, commits suicide because of loss of child, is not even given the dignity to choose her own death, comes back as first Heretic to exist, all of this to push plot and create dRaMa b/w steroline. Yes they actually used a women who was violently beaten to near death and experienced an even more violent miscarriage at the hands of a guy who believed the child will make him late for a bone sesh, revolve around steroline and how Stefan wouldn’t love Caroline if he just had that child, THERES HALF A EPISODE JUST DEPICTING STEFAN’S MANPAIN ON LOOSING A COULD BE CHILD, when Valerie literally acts like a mechanical robot reiterating facts and her entire emotional “reaction” so to speak is her committing suicide AND NOTHING ELSE (as if they couldn’t be bothered to write female trauma) Like JFC you CANNOT TELL ME THIS IS DISGUSTING FUCKING SHIT THAT SHOULD NOT EXIST.

Jo Saltzman: Looses twin foetus children on her wedding day, is literally killed by her abusive psychotic brother on the fucking alter, to cover up Candice’s pregnancy, JESUS, HOW DID A PERSON WHO IS NOT UNHINGED IN THE BRAIN SIT DOWN AND COME UP WITH THIS, and not for one second think how fucking traumatising ALL of this is FOR NO GOOD REASON. Not even good plot, this was all for logistics they could’ve fucking covered up in a hundred other different ways.

Caroline Forbes: Do we even have to mention it? Is forced to endure pregnancy she has NO obligation to endure, is not even given a single scene to process the pregnancy and come up with a coherent response that isn’t “I will do it for you” forces herself to marry a man who is as old as her dad in human years for said children, said man turns around and tells her she is not these children’s mother to her face when she was literally FORCED into giving birth to two children that aren’t even her own. Looses all character development and becomes Mother of child ™.

Hayley Marshall: Nah bro I shouldn’t have to TELL you, but ok, gets pregnant with an abusive psychopath’s child, ykw the list is too long, y’all know the drill choked when wanting abortion, experiences atleast 7 near death experiences in the nine months she was pregnant all because Klaus wanted to play King to three streets and one marsh, and she was KWEEN of the werewolves, has the most violent birthing experience, her child revolves around Klaus’ redemption, hence her character fully revolves around said child and directly/indirectly Klaus, is turned into a fucking animal when she decided to do one damn thing for her own child, is nothing more than “Mother of Hope” throughout the show.

Freya Mikaelson: Of ALL the different things a women in literal captivity FOR HER ENTIRE LIFE can experience for backstory Trauma™ OF EVERYTHING they could choose, they yet again go for traumatic pregnancy, a self-induced miscarriage and a SUICIDE story revolving around said pregnancy, her selling point to the Mikaelsons is “I lost a child I won’t let you lose yours.” LIKE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Forget misogynistic writing that’s just paper-thin-rumpled-trash-in-trash-can writing.

Esther Mikaelson: Chooses to give up her first born child for the prospect of multiple children, in Lenore’s body actually bloody tells Hayley she can have more babies if Hayley allows her to make Hayley Human, Hayley CONSIDERS THIS SERIOUSLY. Is actually shown to want to become human so she can have more babies.

Sarah Salvatore: Black woman who is KILLED by Damon to give manpain TO DAMON, like bruh wtf?? You seriously had Damon kill a pregnant black woman and give him manpain in the form of guilt to redeem him? YOU MADE A WOMAN’S MURDER ABOUT HER MURDERER’S GUILT?? JP and her team of writers cannot get more fucked up than this

Feel free to add to this, and if any fucker ever dare come to your page trying to fight that tvd/to is not MISOGYNISTIC in its ENTIRETY, you send them to this post, and this post only contains pregnancy related batshit crazy misogyny in the show, if we went through everything that is misogynistic, I’d say the transcript of the show is an entire comprehensive list of all of it. And seriously anybody who believes JP’s writing isn’t the most misogynistic sexist piece of writing that’s just a steaming hot pile of rotten shit, Well then I sincerely suggest you fuck off to some other corner of the world where TO/TVD stans can gather and lick white manpain experiencing male dick.

Sincerely someone who has watched TO/TVD top to bottom and is traumatised.

LOL yes exactly, like I don’t understand how someone could see this and say that it’s not so soaked in misogyny that nothing in the show can be separated from the violent sexism. Saying “well this character stood there in one scene and didn’t say anything sexist so you can’t call the entire thing sexist and if you do then you’re basically doing the same thing as calling all men sexist” (and like I don’t want that anon to start that argument again but LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ANALOGY) is an absurd, fatuous argument.

#anti thirstday #Anonymous

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aliiii-glasgow · 3 years

Text

The Devil

Have you ever looked into the eyes of The Devil? I would imagine you would instantly say a simple “no”. I challenge you to think again, because he is not who you are thinking of. I, personally, have gazed into his eyes, time and time again. I know him all too well, and have been under his spell for 7 years, now. You see, The Devil is a simple man. He’s tall, has long hair, and tells you the sweetest of lies. He has the most beautiful green eyes you have ever seen; sometimes they appear more gray or blue. My friend, The Devil, has many tattoos that lay upon his skin so perfectly. Some of them are quite beautiful, and some of them are not, but each one possess a story from his past. Although he may seem like your average human being, he is far more powerful than that. You can feel his pain when he walks into the room, it opens up an endless pit inside of you. You can feel his insecurities, for they shine bright despite his efforts to conceal them. The Devil will show you pure bliss, just to replace it with true hell. I can only warn you about him, but your fate lies in your own hands.

It was a warm day in June of 2014, when I first met The Devil. He was a real “cool guy”. I didn’t pay him much mind, considering that he was just the current boyfriend of my best friend, and those relationships never lasted long anyway. I brushed him off, figuring this would be the first, and last time I ever saw him. Unfortunately, I would see him again, and again. Shortly after the breakup, I received a message from him. Of course I didn’t think anything of it, for I was the most innocent of all my friends. Little did I know, that The Devil was seeking me out, like prey. He could feel my weakness from the moment he met me, and he knew that he could fool me. He knew that I would give in to him, and I did exactly that. You see, I was innocent, and he admired that, but The Devil fell from Heaven for a reason , right? I reminded him of what once was, pure and untouched. He couldn’t help himself, he had to destroy me. He couldn’t wait to get his devilish hands on my pure body. Unfortunately for me, he accidentally touched my soul in the process.

I was young, and looking for love. I did end up finding it, in an empty and heartless man. I knew he was broken from the second I spoke to him, but it was okay, for I was too. I always had a love for damaged goods. Now, I didn’t think I could fix him, nor was that my intention, but we understood each others pain. I thought at the very least, we could console each other. We both came from broken homes, so it was a bonding topic. We spent so many nights criticizing the way we were raised, and all that we had to go through during our upbringings. I wish I knew he was just buttering me up, so he could use me just like he did everyone else. I have a soft spot for things that are broken, for I always say “you can find beauty in everything”. I found The Devil so unbelievably beautiful, despite his tragedies. I was warned, many of times.;by friends, family, and not so friendly strangers. It was too late though, The Devil already had me in his clutches. I was right where he dreamed he would get me, and I didn’t care about the dangers ahead.

The Devil has a way with words; smooth, nonchalant, short. He doesn’t have to say much , for you to know what he means. He really knows how to be tempting, it’s his specialty. He tempted me countless times, and soon after, tainted me. One summer night he decided to take his moms car, even though he had no license, and come pick me up around 1 am. He really never was a fan of playing by the rules. On that night, I left the safety and comfort of my childhood home, just to end up walking the streets to get back home after doing things that no 14 year old should do. See, The Devil isn’t the brightest of the bunch, so he left the keys in the ignition while we were in the backseat. From early on, I started to notice his streak of “bad luck”. You might ask, “What are you getting out of this?”. To that I would say “Truthfully, I don’t know, I just feel a connection.”. I should have known then.

Without much time passing, The Devil, and I, decided it was time to lose what was left of my purity. He was beyond ready to get to defile my untouched body. I didn’t know better, and the only guidance he gave me was based on his benefit. I trusted him, so I agreed. After about 3 whole minutes, it was done. It wasn’t quite like what I had expected. It wasn’t a “magical experience where your souls connect”. It was simply painful, and unfulfilling. I didn’t feel any different afterwards, just like he said. How could I blame myself? He was confident, and charming, and I am a sucker for sweet nothings, and he’s right, “it doesn’t matter anyways.” He put on a big show, and made it seem like he knew everything about the female body, and I was highly disappointed. I always thought that sex was for both parties to enjoy. Trust me though, it gets worse from here.

After a few months go by, I was in so much pain that I was vomiting uncontrollably, and crying into the toilet. I had no idea what was wrong with me, I had never felt a pain like this in my life. Are menstrual cramps always this bad? My mother had to leave work to take me to urgent care. They were unable to find the cause of my pain, and sent me to the ER. Now, imagine how scared I was, having no clue what’s wrong with me. It was at the ER where they asked “Are you sexually active?” In front of my poor mother. It was in that moment that she found out that I was. After being probed by the doctors, they sent me home. A week or two later I got the news that The Devil had given me an STD. Fortunately for me, it was curable, but unfortunately for me, my love for the Devil has no cure. The Devil lied to me. Apparently he never had it, even though both of his ex girlfriends did.

So, after finding out this devastating news, I had to contact The Devil once more. I had thought that we were over, considering that he moved on so quickly after our short lived relationship. The Devil was not pleased to hear from me under these circumstances. Somehow, everything suddenly became my fault. Apparently, I, the virgin, gave him the STD. Now, trust me, I am just as confused as you are. I sat, racking my brain trying to think just how this was possible. After realizing that there was no way on this Earth that this could be true, a flood of emotions went through my brain. Not only did he lie to me, he blamed me. His anger towards me was nearly unbearable. How could The Devil be so inconsiderate? This is when I really should’ve known.

After doing my research, I realized exactly what had happened. He can’t take responsibility for a single one of his actions. His goal is to make you seem as crazy as possible so that he might not have to take a look at himself. It is truly amazing how long one can keep up this act for. In fact, to this day, he keeps it up. So, after him accusing me in every way he could manage, I decided that I was done with The Devil, I would no longer speak to him. Shortly after, the friendships I had lost due to this catastrophic relationship were healed. I gained the trust of my friends back, and life was good, without the influence of The Devil. Although, this would all not be true, and they would all be disappointed once more.

After a few months, The Devil crept his way back into my life. We decided that the past was silly, but he still didn’t admit to anything. I accepted passed time as responsibility, as well as an apology. I decided to blindly overlook this glaring red flag. I decided that everyone deserves a second chance, even The Devil, who will so gladly take what he can get. Now, he currently is in another relationship while reinstating ours. I didn’t think much of it, other than being proud that he chose me over her. I gave him plenty of time to break up with her, because being the other woman wasn’t as bad as I had thought. He had me right where he wanted me, once again. How did I not see it?

Now it is time to tell the part that really ties us together; trauma bonding. The Devil told me about this “super cool” drug, called LSD. He absolutely adored this drug. I would go as far as to say that this reality altering substance may have been his first true love. Well, I loved him, and he loved LSD, so why not do it together? Right, there’s about a million reasons why we shouldn’t, but that wouldn’t stop us. This is when it gets dark. This “super cool” drug was by far the worst experience of my entire life, up to this point. In this moment, I saw The Devil for who he really was. He was bright red, and screaming in my face. I knew I was in love with Lucifer himself. Well, what is there left to do now?

I knew exactly what I should do. I should cut all ties with The Devil, and run as far away as possible. Well, how could I do that? He was there with me through the most terrifying thing I’ve ever experienced. Wait, he was the most terrifying part of that event. Oh, Im silly, it was just the drugs, right? Theres no way I’m actually in a relationship with “Lucifer himself”. He may have done some awful things in his past, but that’s definitely behind him now, right? Wrong. The Devil was just waiting to break me down even further. That is exactly what I would let him do.

He then decided that cheating on me was the right thing to do. After all we’ve been through together, I didn’t foresee this. Now, I should’ve expected this, but I truly didn’t see it coming. Apparently, we were in an open relationship that I wasn’t aware of. This was surprising news to me. The Devil denied ever having said anything of the sort. Not to mention he denied that he cheated on me. It was at this point that I started to recognize his pattern, and lifestyle, but it was too late. He was in love with a fast life. The Devil himself had become my drug of choice; my addiction.

I forgave the poor Devil, yet again. How could I not? He is my favorite drug, and things would be different this time. He pleaded with me, “please don’t ever leave me!” whilst crying into my arms. Of course I said I wouldn’t leave, but in the depths of my mind, I knew I couldn’t stay. Was he putting on an act? Or was he finally breaking down? It was neither. He was just as addicted to me as I was to him. Now we had a real problem. We were just constantly using each other to get our fix. This was a dangerous addiction. How could we go on like this? Is there a way out?

The way out was away from each other. Little did we know that this was merely just another break in our 7 year relationship. My dog, “our son”, needed a new home. So I reached out to my friend, Lucifer. He was thrilled to take him in, and to see me after a year. I, also, was ecstatic to see him. This was our perfect opportunity to reconnect, and try again. We had such a long tolerance break, so things would be different this time. Or, so, I thought. Things started out perfectly with co-parenting, but it was all just smoke and mirrors. This was merely another excuse to keep us coming back to see each other. To no surprise, Lucifer couldn’t handle being a parent, and neither could I. Everything fell apart once again, and we parted ways on good terms.

So, now that we’re both addicted, the story becomes predictable. Of course we reconnect, and things are different this time. We have both grown, and are living on our own, seeing each other as successful. This time it is meant to be, and we won’t be playing anymore childish games. My best friend is dating his best friend, and everything is falling into place perfectly. This was proven to be true for all of one whole month. Everything was better than ever in the past. We were like our own little clique. It was the four of us against the world, and we were unstoppable. That was until The Devil does what he knows how to do best. Not only did he leave with no explanation, he completely disappeared. No last words, no reasons why, no goodbye, this time. All that I got from him was heart breaking silence. The crash of this extravagant high of being with him was enough to stop the world from turning. This had to be the last time. How many sleepless nights would it take to end this pain? How many bottles of liquor would it take to forget him?

It was at this point that I traded the addiction to the Devil for another. I began drinking excessively to numb the pain. I couldn’t stand his absence. It felt as though my very soul had been ripped away. No matter how much I drank, it wasn’t enough to forget him. It was only enough to drunk text him, and make things far worse than they already were. I regularly made a fool of myself in the eyes of the public on social media to try and get his attention. I would’ve done anything to get him back.

So many nights went by, but only for me to realize that I wasn’t done. I needed my fix. I just so desperately need one last chance to make things right. I got that chance. The Devil came back, and this time it was absolutely unbelievable. He had changed significantly. Lucifer, as I knew him, no longer existed. It was as if The Gods let him back into Heaven, and I was blessed enough to meet an angel. His flaws seemed to vanish right before my eyes. He became everything I had ever dreamed him to be. He was perfect to me. He had become sweet, loving, caring, and willing. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing and experiencing. What did I do to deserve such an angel in my life? It was pure bliss. By far, it was the best thing I had ever experienced. The Devil traded his old ways for new, but so had I. I was soaking up all of his good nature, and trying my best to give back. Was I trying to give back, or trying to trap him? Now, I had him in my clutches. Wait, when did I become The Devil, myself?

Somehow, the roles got reversed. I had him right where I wanted him. I noticed he was slipping away, so I tried even harder to keep him in my grasp. I did everything in my power to keep my grip on him. I used his own manipulative tricks on him. I acted sweet, caring, and loving, just to reel him back in, and it worked. He wasn’t going to leave me over my dead body, or he wouldn’t make it out alive. Noticing him trying to leave, I gave him one final choice. I told him he must stay, or go this time. He chose to stick around, which only added fuel to the fire burning both of us alive.

After a few months into the most beautiful relationship I had ever known, the world came crashing down. The Devil reformed to his devilish ways, once more. One day, he disappeared. I completely stopped hearing from him, and I was left to wonder if he was still alive. Our scheduled plans passed, with still no answers from him. This made me absolutely furious. I made so many phone calls, and sent numerous texts, still no answer. The Devil left me high and dry, with no way to get another fix. The part that I could not stand was that there was yet again, no explanation. Just maybe if I got one last fix of The Devil by saying goodbye, it would all be over, and I could quit my addiction once more.

I was wholeheartedly devastated. My world was over in my eyes. If I could not get my fix, then what was I to do? There are a million things I could’ve done, but instead I chose to go to any extent to get my revenge. My revenge consisted of exposing Lucifer. He had posted a video of him defending people at a Black Lives Matter protest, and I decided to counter act that. I had a video saved of him saying n****r. This was a common thing for him to say, and it felt so good to see his life crumbling down, and threats being sent his way. The fire we had created had finally turned into a full blown explosion. It was just what The Devil inside of me needed. I needed my fix of his attention, and that’s just what I got. I got his attention through a phone call. This phone call added to the flames of the world around us that we had set ablaze. We created hell for each other, and it felt just like home. When did I become so hateful?

I realized once that wreckage had cleared, all the damage I had truly done. Not only did I have a long run with The Devil, I had become The Devil. What I learned, is that The Devil lives within each and every one of us. He taunts us, tempts us, and tries to control us. Unfortunately, sometimes he wins. This time, he triumphed over me, without hesitation. The goods news is, that this will be the last time I will ever have danced with The Devil. My old friend, Lucifer, will no longer be able to hold power over me. it took me 7 whole years to break free, and say goodbye to Lucifer. He is no longer welcome in my life, nor will he ever be.

As for The Devil inside of me, well he resides in all of us. It is up to each individual whether or not you let him come out to play. I have since put The Devil to rest, in every aspect of my life. He has served me illy, and I no longer hold space for him. I will forgive The Devil, and all of his workings, for he has taught me many valuable lessons. Lucifer, I wish you the best in all of your affairs, but leave me out of them. I forgive you, but most importantly, I forgive myself.

Your Old Friend,

Ali

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autisticmob · 4 years

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HELLO everyone i am now ten days out from my tiddy surgery so i think while everything is still fresh-ish in my mind I should get a rough timeline of how things went for me, just so anyone having similar stuff done in the future can have it as reference??

so under the cut is how shit went down, warning we are gonna be tmi about it for Max Information Dissemination, i will be talking about IV placement, Needles, Bleeding, Bruising, Bathroom Stuff In General, etc. so like. Be Warned.

OKAY SO what did i have done and how did i get it:

- i got a bilateral breast reduction with a “T,” “keyhole,” or “anchor-shaped” incision. this procedure, unlike double-incision top surgery, does not detach your nipples at all, but it DOES leave a decent hunk of breast tissue behind to avoid the nip graft. this connecting tissue keeps your nip attached and supplied with enough blood to survive. that means with this one, theres basically a limit to how much they can take off, and it depends on how big you are to start off with.

- i went with the T-incisions because as a NB person, I wanted to sidestep the “gender-confirming surgery” route with my insurance. technically, I believe it would have been covered if i had gone through the process of talking to a therapist and getting a note that the surgery WOULD help confirm my gender, but i suspect it would have taken much longer, and I was afraid that my doctor and community resources would not have ended up approving me FOR the surgery since I don’t exactly fit the typical trans narrative. and luckily for me i had Massive, Spine-Bending G Cup Tiddies to contend with. so every doc that took a look at me said “yeah, you need those taken care of for medical reasons.” so i thought hey, let’s see how far this will get me!

- i talked to my primary care doc about my back pain and mentioned i’d like to look into a breast reduction, and she referred me to a local surgeon who could do the procedure. at the time i was still entertaining the idea of double-incision, but as it turned out, this surgeon just didnt do that. but i knew for certain my insurance would cover him, his results were good, and he was local, so i said yes to the T-incisions, which he said would likely get me down from a G to at least a C. it wasnt my ideal scenario admittedly, but frankly the back pain was getting to be too much, and i needed it to be addressed sooner rather than later.

- i had a consultation with the surgeon in early december, and they took pictures and measurements to send to my insurance so they could confirm the tits WERE in fact Too Bomb To Live. Doc said that it varies between insurance companies, but most will have a minimum amount of tissue that needs to be taken off, in grams, from each breast. he was like, “your insurance needs at least 1000g total removed, which’ll leave you on the small side, is that cool?” and i was like “My Man, take AS MUCH as you possibly can, im sick of these” and he was like “cool, makes my job easy then.”

- it took my insurance like 1.5 to 2 months to get back to me, but late january the surgery place called me and we set a date for february 5th, 2020!!

PRE-OP:

- before i went into surgery, the hospital made me go over my medical history with them over the phone, informed me of all the risks, and gave me a special scrub kit to shower with at home for the last 2 days before the surgery

- fun fact this soap will make your whole bathroom and body smell strongly and exactly like a hospital and it is gross as hell if you hate hospital smell

- i also had to go to my primary care doc to get the OK that i was healthy enough to go under general anesthesia, and also get some blood tests and a urinalysis done. i fucked up the urinalysis tho (which is a whole other story) so i had to redo that the morning of the surgery when i got to the hospital anyway.

- when i scheduled my surgery they also gave me a list of things i had to NOT DO before i went in. this included stuff like avoiding herbal medications and non-prescription supplements and not drinking any alcohol for like 2 weeks prior to surgery, and not eating anything after midnight the night before surgery.

- then it was SURGERY DAY!!!

- i went in with uhhh a LOT of anxiety about what everything would entail, ngl. i knew i had to do it because staring down the barrel of life with tiddies forever was way scarier than surgery, but yknow whenever you go under general anesthesia they legally do have to let you know that you could die and thats just a lot to consider, PLUS the whole thing involves just, really mangling your torso so like. its a lot! its okay to be scared!

- both my parents went with me for moral support which i appreciated a lot, but i didnt actually see them much since they had to spend a lot of it in the waiting room.

- when i went back with the doc they had me Wash The Tiddy Off with some antiseptic and change into a gown. i got some grippy socks out of the deal which is probably not a universal experience, but this hospital did it so shoutout to them for the socks i guess

- then they asked me all my medical history stuff again and checked me for any like, rashes or open sores or anything. i had some Tit Zits but they did not seem to be worried about that.

- then the surgeon came in and drew lines on me for the incisions. bro when i saw how high up my nips were gonna be i was losing my damn mind. this is one of the really exciting parts, because you finally get to really visualize what your end size is gonna be!!

- once he was satisfied with how everything looked, they started really Prepping Me For Surgery.

- they hooked me up to a blood pressure cuff, a heart monitor, and some compression leg thingies that would inflate and deflate intermittently around my calves to help me not get blood clots. this felt weird but tbh also like kind of a nice massage

- then the iv placement. bro im not lying when i tell you this is the worst part. the nurse numbed me with some lidocaine before placing the needle and let me tell you that shit HURTED. lidocaine Stings and Burns when it hits and this was arguably the most painful part. but the good news about that is it means nothing else after that is all that bad. and i got THREE lidocaine shots because these two nurses could NOT find my blood anywhere. they finally called in their ringer (an EMT named kirk, s/o to kirk) who got that sucker in my arm with NO numbing and NO pain in like, 2 fucking seconds. i pray you all have a kirk. kirk knows where your fucking blood is and hes not gonna fuck around getting to it because he JUST wrestled a drunk dude into an ambulance like an hour ago and compared to that this is nothing. kirk had sleeveless scrubs. im obsessed. anyway.

- then they put a plastic, inflatable, heated blanket over me? it was between two regular blankets so it wasnt as uncomfortable as you might imagine, but it was strange. warm tho so that was nice.

- THEN they wheeled my bed down to surgery. i was having so much anxiety at this point it was like... dreamlike. getting wheeled into the OR was just surreal. i was like, no thoughts head empty, just taking everything in.

- once i got there the surgical team was very cool about keeping me calm tho. they were playing their like, pump-up music and one of the guys was like “hey fyi about halfway thru the surgery we will be turning the lights off and having a rave, just in the interest of full disclosure. promise not to leave any glowsticks in there tho” and i was like what no i would LOVE glowstick tiddies

- i had to kinda roll from my bed onto the operating table, which was significantly harder and smaller. that kinda made things feel real, so i got a little more anxious at that point.

- to help me calm down they had me breathe in some straightup oxygen thru a mask while they hooked my iv to the fluids and such, and the guy was like “WHOA you got some lungs on you dude” and i was like yeah thanks im recovering from hyperventilating

- then they let the anesthesia into the iv, letting me know the whole time what was happening, talking to me until i was just OUT, which was not a lot of conversation time because i was out in like 5 seconds or less. they didnt make me count down or anything, but i promise you it was nigh instantaneous.

POST OP

- it really was instantaneous. i know everyone says that but it really is the truth, it feels like the whole thing takes seconds. like one moment youre laying there in the OR feeling the drugs Hit, and the next youre waking up in the little wake-up room feelin kinda groggy with a nurse talking to you, and youre still druggy so youre just rambling to her about how fucked your voice sounds right now and as soon as shes contented that youre basically lucid they start wheeling you to your room where youll ACTUALLY stay while you recover.

- THE THING I WAS THE LEAST PREPARED FOR WAS MY THROAT

- your throat will Hurt afterwards, but even more than that, you will be producing So Much Mucus. my surgery took about 2 hours and during that time, all my muscles were paralyzed by the anesthesia, including my lungs, so i was on a breathing tube. my throat, understandably, hated this, and started producing Gallons Of Fucking Mucus to protect itself. it then continued to do this for the next two days or so. the nurses were encouraging me to breathe deep and cough Hard to combat this, and avoid getting pneumonia, so i did. but THAT hurt the tiddies. it was really a vicious cycle. but its necessary because god if i had to have pneumonia on top of all the other recovery shit?? god. 0/10 wouldnt recommend. so it might hurt but dont worry your tiddies wont bust open or anything.

- i spent basically the rest of the day still hooked up to all the machines i listed earlier, PLUS a thing that would beep at me if my heart rate went too high, which it did a lot because i have anxiety, but luckily the nurses didnt seem too concerned. it really kept my breathing on track though because if i didnt breathe deep enough my heart would shoot up super fast and it’d beep and god that was just annoying and im pretty sure that was The Point. you kinda have to get used to breathing again, and the beeping trained me.

- they gave me like a bunch of crackers and a huge mug of water to work on at my leisure. i actually had lunch pretty quick after waking up? i know a lot of people have nausea issues from anesthesia but i didnt experience any of that. i DID move like a fucking sloth while i was eating tho. the pain meds and general grogginess of recovery slowed my whole body down sooooo much. my mom was actually like “are you okay??? like neurologically??????” and i was, totally, i was just. on slo-mo.

- anyway i didnt have to get catheterized for this procedure thankfully but they DID make me measure my pee every time i went to the bathroom. like i had to pee in a little bucket attached to the toilet and the nurse had to come check it every time and i felt really weird about that. so idk just be prepared for that i guess lmao

- also idk if it was the pain meds or the anesthesia itself but post-op, i couldnt shit for like a week. the constipation is real so get u some fucking laxatives asap when you get home, this is not a joke lmao

- they also had me put on a belt every time i got up so the nurse could hold onto me in case i decided to fucking biff it. they got me up a couple times throughout the day/night to walk up and down the hallway outside and get my body used to being upright again

- oh speaking of i never got to lie down completely flat, they had my bed locked at like a 30 degree angle minimum to help with... something. im not quite sure what, but im not gonna question it

- when i got up the next morning they had a couple nurses come in and help me un-bandage so i could shower and finally look at what the tiddies looked like for the first time!! and it was exciting but i didnt cry like i expected lmao i think i was too drained and too distracted by the bleeding

- the bleeding wasnt too bad actually, just little beads kinda coming out of parts of the incisions between the stitches. but once i got in the shower obviously stuff started getting diluted in the water and it looked like a lot more than there actually was, so dont be alarmed by that!

- SHOWERING: its a little complicated. youre not supposed to soak the incisions, and youre not supposed to apply direct water pressure or actually touch them at this point. so what i had to do was get a washcloth wet and soapy (with antibacterial soap, i think it was hand soap honestly. hand soap’s what ive been using at home so........) and then just kinda. squeeze it at your collarbone and let it drip down over everything kinda minimally. its kind of a process but it works fine. washing your hair and like, tbh literally everything else is gonna be hard. reaching over your head is hard and scary at this point. i will admit my hair care Suffered the first week.

- then i got bandaged back up and they got me back into my own clothes and ready to go home! they also put a bra on me over the bandages in my new size. i was only there for about 24 hours total, since i didnt really have any complications.

- on the ride home i had to make sure the cross-chest part of the seat belt was NOT touching me. if whoevers driving you hits a pothole, your soul WILL exit your body tits-first for a moment. im sorry if you live somewhere like here in nebraska where the roads are garbage but its not gonna be fun.

ONCE YOU’RE HOME!!

- i live at home with my mom and sister and if you live alone, id try to have a friend basically move in for the first week. you will need Help with things. basic things. you’ll mostly want to sleep because of the pain meds but those made me pretty dizzy so it was cool having my mom around in case i like. fell on the way to the bathroom and died or anything like that.

- changing bandages is really kind of a 2-person affair too, and youll have to do it at least once a day post-shower, so keep that in mind.

- the bleeding is like, not that bad after that first day honestly. i never had to change the bandages more than just the once per day.

- basically from here the procedure is just to take it easy, get up every few hours and walk around a little to keep the blood clots at bay, and enjoy yr new silhouette basically

- worst thing about recovery honestly? im a stomach/side sleeper, and i cant manage anything other than laying flat on my back with my arms at my sides right now, and thats just like.... idk i really cant sleep like that. its not comfy. ive had to set up kind of a pillow fort around me to keep me from rolling over in my sleep bc im afraid i might hurt myself accidentally like that, but idk how well-founded that fear is.

- i will say as someone who did have back problems before this, the difference is IMMEDIATE. i literally had better posture like Day 1. im still a little hunched over because the stitches create a bit of tension in your chest, but like literally it was instantaneous. god. once i got healed to a point that i could like, kinda relax and not be so fucking tense all the time? back pain has basically just been GONE.

- other fun things to notice: i had some pretty significant stretch marks before, and now they are running in a completely different direction. i crossed my arms over my chest the other day and they actually touched my torso for the first time in like, well over a decade. if i close my eyes and try to grab my tiddy from muscle memory, i stop like a full 3 inches from where my tit actually starts now. the size i am now, just like, freeballing it? this is how i looked when i wore a binder before. if i wore a binder now i imagine id be completely flat, and honestly if i layer up at this point you cant really tell that i have anything more than the average chubby dude’s moobs, which as a kinda chubby person is totally fine.

its a trip relearning what i look like and what im supposed to feel like but its just. such a fucking improvement over where i was. absolutely no regrets, regardless of how hard recovery has felt at times. anyway i hope this information is at least interesting and maybe helpful to anybody considering anything similar!!

#words #top surgery #breast reduction #info post #again yall lemme know if you have questions abt anything i didnt cover here i tried to hit all my bases but u never know #teat yeet

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neonnhoney-rec · 4 years

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Min Yoongi

Here are a few yoongi recs, most of them I've read and love, some are in my TBR. Tbh most of them are smut, but some are fluff and angst mostly angst. I will keep updating this woop woop.

I hope you enjoy tehee!

revenge- @lustfuldevils

fuck boy yoongs

request: yoongi teaches you to give a bj- @kpurereactions

says it on the tin

Theres no need to be nervous around Yoongi, he’ll take care of you and make you feel good no matter what it is you’re doing.

sangria- @minstrivia

a day at the beach has yoongi hornier than he’d like to admit.

missing link- @drquinzelharleen

You catch Yoongi playing with himself before a night out and some part of you wants to join him. That’s crazy though, he’s your best friend… Right?

talk- @httpjeon

you walk in on yoongi on the phone with a customer

act on it- @dom-joonie

You learn that the cute barista you’ve been crushing on might have an…otherworldly disposition after you accidentally cut yourself.

too sweet- @justoneday-namjoonii

you smell so sweet to them the best they’ve ever had (vampire au)

moving to a university with a few secrets, has you falling for these boys who need your help

too hot to sleep- @gamerguk

“ Umm can’t wait to get rawed in our kitchen when I’m living with the love of my life ”

can you turn off your phone- @btssavemylifeblr

Yoongi’s alarm clock wakes you up at 6 am on a Sunday and you are not happy about it. At least, not at first…

grey area- @blushoseoks

and just like that, your fate was sealed - because min yoongi was absolutely going to destroy you. but hell if you weren’t going to let him, or bask happily in the flames as he did so.

and sadly, at the time, you didn’t think that your thoughts would become so literal.

dancing with the devil- @minnpd

suga daddy suga

asphodel- @hayjeon

A series of drabbles and moments surrounding Hades, the god of death and Persephone, the goddess of nature

lifeguard yoongi- @gukgalore

who knew making eyes at a hot lifeguard would get you what you really wanted.

yoongi cums in his pants- @hobiorbit

dry humping yoongi till cums in his pants cause its hot

boy .girl- @floralseokjin

Boy. Girl. It’s as simple as that. Girl can’t get a good date—scrap that—girl can’t get a good lay, and boy is willing to help out with that… Friends with benefits seems the perfect solution, except for the fact, it’s not. It never is. Not when boy already has feelings for girl…

Evil- @littlemisskookie

Your life is pretty boring, apart from being the Alpha of your pack. But it gets a bit more exciting when you discover Yoongi wants to spend his heat with none other than you.

Bet i can make you cum without touching your cock- @cyphertrip

says it on the tin

boseong breakfast- @honeymoonjin

it may be misfortune that brings you to min yoongi’s door looking for a place to stay, but luckily holly lodge has a vacancy.

Love is for birds baby- @mininky

You refuse to believe in love. It’s a concept created by big corporations like hallmark to get sad saps like you to buy their shit. But it’s all fake. You’re convinced of that at least until a series of events with a certain tattoo artist who you loved to hate makes you question everything you’ve ever known.

Hands- @moonlightchildz

hand fetish? is that a thing?

Producer!yoongi- @matchakoo

where yoongi’s song plays over a really serene and domestic smut scene

Please be naked- @floralseokjin

ou find it’s easy to become addicted to a distraction…

Lonely hearts club- @joonbird

“In this world, currency is not money but life, and those who cannot repay their debts have no choice but to submit for the Separation - a procedure in which the soul and mind are extracted from their bodies, leaving behind nothing but an empty shell. Jeon Jungkook is an underground tattoo artist hiding from the outside world. She has been waiting her whole life to be Separated. They were never supposed to meet - let alone fall in love.”

- or -

“Two lonely hearts collide.”

Rose garden dreams- @glossgf

you, a princess not yet betrothed, and your knight, Yoongi, have fallen in love. But what happens when a prince asks for your hand in marriage? What will you and Yoongi do then…?

single parent au- @yukheii

your daughter is very fond of yoongi

Us, plus two- @deathbyyoongi

You and Yoongi sharing a moment, relishing in the glow of your growing family when your daughter has a nightmare, and Yoongi has to take care of those pesky monsters.

When the power goes out- @inkjam-moon

When a storm causes the electricity to go out, it becomes to dark in the apartment to study, so you and Yoongi have to find another way to pass the time.

Conveniently- @baeseoul

you live above a convenience store with your daughter, owned by a rather attractive yoongi. this is the story of how u and your daughter gained another member to your little family.

Destruction of a muse- @baeseoul

you’re in your last year of uni doing literature and lose your motivation, and it’s not till you meet a talented musician you get your ambition back. a. lot. of. angust.

Long distance- @miss-noo-na

Yoongi misses the sound of your voice.

Conjecture- @writingsofmyimagination

Your management refused to renew your contract unless you collaborated, so you ending up working with Min Yoongi. A guy you’d disliked from before both of your debuts. There is more to their past than meets the eye.

Photoshoot tease- @shooting-stars-library

“Min Yoongi is a sexy little shit and he knows it.”

What if- @blameblamebts

Being in a gang wasn’t a good thing, and it never would be, always looked down upon. But it isn’t what people think it to be. It’s worse. Much worse.

Aawake at night- @softyoongiionly

You can’t sleep. Luckily, your boyfriend can’t either.

Clair de lune- @yoonia

You were ready to leave a part of your life to move on to the next, and he is willing to give you a chance to end it glamorously. But at what cost? And will he be a part of the life you are leaving behind or will he be there for the next part of it?

Reflections- @yoonia

“How could I ever forget about you" parent au

Faded- @yoonia

You were his soulmate, that part he knew well. Until one day he didn’t want you anymore. He couldn’t, when all he could see from you was light and all he felt within himself was darkness. Your love has gone cold as he retreated from you, burying himself deep in the dark. But what happened when Yoongi had to watch you start over with somebody else, when Yoongi let his selfishness gain control on him of you.

Monday- @strwberrytae

It’s that special time a month that brings you great pain yet great joy. Sure, there’s cramps and absolute uncomfort but your little monthly friend makes you insanely horny. Needy and desperate for a release that only your boyfriend can provide, will he cave and give you what you want?

Makeshift chemistry- @jungblue

Fleeting lust was all you’d ever known, nothing serious or long lasting, just a temporary fix to satisfy your needs. That is until you meet Min Yoongi who is determined to put an end to your binge of makeshift relationships.

What you did last summer- @winetae

Yoongi was fine with a lot of things—you maxing out his credit cards to buy ridiculously expensive items of clothing that you never wore more than once, you taking out his newest ride for a spin without permission, you spending an extra thirty minutes on your hair and makeup when he was running late for a dinner function.

What he was not okay with, however, was you sharing your pussy with barely-out-of-college boys who were incapable of going five seconds without creaming their pants.

No, that was where he drew the line.

Bad boys bring it to you- @yuengi

tattoo artist yoongi

Fortuna- @readyplayerhobi

300 years ago, half the world’s population died when the experimental Fortuna virus escaped. The remaining male population has been rendered infertile with one loophole that has meant polyamorous relationships have become the norm.

Crescendo- @dreamyjoons

after hours of waiting for the grumpy pianist to leave the stage, you finally have it out with him in a way better than you could have imagined.

Restraint- @writingsofmyimagination

As Jungkook’s best friend recently moved to Seoul, there is one of the boys you have yet to meet. This one has a dark secret and has to use all the restraint he can to control himself around you.

Curious- @honeymoonjin

Taehyung confides in you and your boyfriend Yoongi that he might be bi, and the two of you offer to let him experiment with you to find out.

Gingham- @ropeseok

There’s no place like home! At least, that’s how Yoongi felt after a long night of taking the little one trick-or-treating. He can’t wait to take his costume off - however, he seems to insist that you keep yours on.

Somebody else- @jamaisjoons

yoongi doesn’t want you anymore. but he can’t stand watching you with someone else. post break up au.

Do you love me- @caribbeanempressblog

Yoongi is bad at feelings

Love well done- @oraclemarie

You are the executive chef of your very own fine dining restaurant. A big company makes you the offer of a lifetime, setting you on a path straight to Min Yoongi-your drunken hook up.

Pepero day- @kittae

Valentine’s with your best friend, yoongi

The last- @kittae

When the world’s gone to shit and you’ve taught yourself to stay alive while danger lurks around every corner, the last thing you need is another mouth to feed and extra “dead” weight. Yet you can’t bring yourself to leave another human being behind, and it might as well have been your worst decision ever… or was it the best?

Baby’s fist christmas- @hobisbeautifulass

3 months after you give birth to your first child, you and your husband start putting together the perfect first Christmas for your new family of three.

This is just to say – @btsiguess

To say it’s unusual to have a soulmate is an understatement, and most people desperately wish to have an elegant name scrawled upon their wrist. In reality though, you’d have to say it causes much more issues than it solves.

I like you – @iq-biased

A surprise visit from a friend leaves Yoongi with a night to remember, and something to say

Small things- @floralseokjin

you and vamp yoongi have an argument

Daddy diaries- @bts-reveries

yoongi started blogging his life on his social medias to prove everyone who thought he couldn’t raise a child alone wrong. but as his daughter’s birthday draws near, what happens when she wishes for a new mom?

Drink me- @njssi

Your vampire boyfriend refuses to bite you in fear of not being able to stop himself. But you always get what you want.

Rule of thirst- @prolixitae

vampires were just folklore until yoongi became one. now he’s got only two emotions: you and hunger. and tonight, you let him feed off you.

A ticket to the sun- @seokeros (ao3)

In a world where a person's life is determined by a piece of paper on a monthly basis, love is practically impossible. But there's always an exception, and with that exception, there comes a price.

Alt: yoongo gets punched in the face by a girl who believes she is cursed, and he stupidly, helplessly, falls in love.

Wildest moments- @joonbird

“Min Yoongi is forbidden territory. And although you both know better, the two of you just can’t seem to stay apart.”

Breakfast in bed- @joonbird

“Min Yoongi, a grumpy Ikea employee, is wondering who you are and why exactly you’re sleeping in the display bed at his Ikea.”

Hyung, open the door- @gotmetalkinginmysleep

You’ve been keeping the boys awake with your moaning for months thanks to Yoongi. Tae and Jungkook want to find out why.

The singularity theory- @dovechim

in your last year of undergrad, you find out what a gloryhole is at the expense of your final year thesis. it’s a classic example of a psychology experiment that went way, way wrong.

You look like you need a drink- @dark-muse-iris

After a bad week with the worst luck imaginable, you happen upon a local dive bar run by an attractive young bartender who livens up your evening.

The married life- @jungnoir

being married is never a bore when your husband is a vampire king + inspired by “Stop calling me Princess!” “I apologize, my Queen.”.

Taxi- @honeyedhoseok

❛ Drinks at a bar + a rainy night + a single taxi to share with the bane of your existence, Min Yoongi = one interesting car ride back to your apartment. ❜

First love- @writing-in-ivory

You first saw him in the multi-purpose room. Later learn his name, and on your third year, as he becomes your neighbor, you discover his lifestyle. Knowing your crush on him was nothing but that, you wanted to find the courage to look for love. Asking your friend for help, you’re pointed in the direction of the expert. Your neighbor, Min Yoongi.

pugna- @jungwoohoos

he showed up at your doorstep one day, covered in cuts and testing your patience. you don’t know why, but you felt compelled to help him. you just don’t realize how deep that runs

Mean yoongi- @jjkpls

Min Yoongi asks you to take care of his plants when he’s gone. It doesn’t go as planned and well, he has to deal with your misbehaving ass.

Sour skittles- @softyoongiionly

WELCOME TO GLASSCLAW! The only city where you can get a homecooked meal and a hitman all on the same street! You moved to GlassClaw for a fresh start after a group of raiders invaded your previous compound. Unbeknownst to you, the city has its own collection of riff raff and, at the head of it all is your neighbor Min Yoongi. The mischevious merchant with one hell of a sailor mouth is known for swindling the rich and, serving the poor. The world has become convoluted and chaotic since the apocalypse but, two things were certain: You were so much more than pretty face and, Yoongi was so much more than just a thief.

Life’s little joys- @littlemeowmeowschimmy

getting pregers with yoongi

Fear and dumplings- @softyoongiionly

You’re in your final semester at University when your Abnormal Psychology professor assigns you a partnered project surrounding your greatest fears. Lucky for you, your partner just so happens to be a cute boy named Min Yoongi.

Min yoongi, library services- @kpopfanfictrash

When you accept the the offered research position at Bangtan University, you are well aware of your partner’s prestige. The only problem is - so is he.

Behind the stick- @randombtsprincessa

Your bartender for the night and you take an interest in one another.

Mic drop- @ve1vetyoongi

when underground rapper min yoongi uncovers the dirty secret behind his biggest rival, your brother and hip hop champion kim namjoon’s success, he is determined to take home this year’s mic drop contest trophy no matter who he hurts along the way. you’re behind the camera, content with capturing namjoon’s picture perfect persona from the sidelines but when his hard-faced enemy Gloss, makes you realise you could be more than just the point and shoot, you start to feel your loyalties shifting.

Pinewood and poetry- @spicykoreantatertots

After getting closer to and developing a crush on your friend over the summer, you want nothing more than to cozy up to him as the seasons start to change. That is until your ex-boyfriend, Jung Hoseok, returns from his summer study abroad program. Will Hoseok stand in the way of your budding romance with your mutual friend, Min Yoongi?

His hands- @nahfamily

You hadn’t ever paid much attention to Min Yoongi until a stupid icebreaker at your office. Now, you can’t get him, and his hands, out of your head

Birthday boy- @btssmutgalore

Yoongi wants to give his best friend Jimin the perfect birthday gift… And it just so happens to be you.

Happy valentine’s day- @sweetwritertanya

You have a very special idea for this Valentine’s Day, focused completely on your boyfriend Yoongi who comes home to an unexpected surprise.

Happy birthday- @parkmuse

Your boyfriend Jimin has a bit of a surprise for you on your birthday, and he goes by the name of Yoongi.

Arranged- @minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong

Y/N is a struggling student in Seoul: working multiple jobs, living in a broom closet apartment, and often sacrificing her dignity for the sake of her livelihood. What happens when a handsome stranger presents her with an offer she cannot refuse at the moment she needs it most?

This tiny space- @ubemango

Yoongi was always attractive—your sexy piece of ass, as you like to remind him often—and seeing the tight skin of his back when he undresses further makes the insides of your stomach churn in want: the kind that made you want to fall to your knees, grovel. You love having a kid, but it’s been too long.

The boa constrictor- @tatertotthethot

You’ve always had a bad habit of drinking copious amounts of water just before going to bed every night, and for some reason, you always seem to forget that it’ll eventually lead to you having to wake up a few hours later with a dire need to pee.

Dope- @honeymoonjin

The HSD is a branch of the South Korean government tasked with taking down the most infallible criminals in Seoul’s underbelly. Kim Namjoon, or RM, is their next target: the extremely well-spoken and careful leader of a cocaine dealing gang.

Listen closely- @avveh

Unintentionally, you stumble upon something that makes you view your coworker Min Yoongi in a whole new light.

The truth between us- @jimlingss

a book deal should be the most exciting time of your life, but there seems to be a constant and omnipresent damper on your mood in the form of a certain min yoongi, who you would just cut out from your life, if he weren’t your editor. but then, the world shifts beneath your feet, and you begin to wonder if maybe you’ve always been looking at life from the wrong angle.

Surround me- @minflix

after a very unfair and unjust firing from his bartending job, yoongi just wants to soothe his sadness by spending some quality time with his best friend - who he is very much in love with.

Cockwarming – @gukgalore

Ngl the thought of cockwarming Yoongi is the only thing keeping me going at this point

Havana- @inkjam-moon

You’ve spent the last six years following in your parents footsteps all the way to Cuba, trying to make them proud by finishing their research, but when you join forces with a snarky boat owner who knows more than he lets on, will things play out the way you planned them?

The equation of love- @kookingtae

When you met Yoongi in a club, you thought it was fate that brought the two of you together. But after you walked into your college math class for the very first time, you weren’t so sure anymore.

Workaholic- @hobiwonder

Yoongi needs to relax and Hoseok has many tricks up his sleeve to make him. None of them Yoongi thought included hiring a hooker to pay him a visit one stormy night.

Different- @satisfractions

in which tattooartist!yoongi meets floral!reader because he needs to practice drawing flowers for his job

Salud- @yukheii

ninja yoongi (Naruto au)

Toke temptation- @strawbxxymilk

You accidentally confess your feelings to Yoongi during a smoke sesh

Accidents- @jungxk

dad!yoongi makes me soft and also h*rny

Fists- @badbhye

reader’s first time

The early shift- @hobidreams

your coworker yoongi is always infuriatingly late. except the one time he’s much too early.

Mixtape- @jungblue

Two mystery students from your college run the podcast dubbed ‘mixtape.’ It’s become a sort of phenomenon around campus, listened to by almost everyone. In their most recent episode they discussed various study methods… One of them being oh so tempting.

Three squeezes- @nomnomsik

Yoongi is notorious for his grumpy and emotionless behavior as director of an upcoming company. Yet, it’s a mystery to everyone how manager Hoseok always seems to soften him up. The truth is that the two are actually engaged. Unknown to this fact, you happen to take an interest in Hoseok… and he does too.

Yoongi cums in his pants- @gukgalore

where u and yoongi are making out and u start grinding on him, and he tells u to stop bc he’s gonna cum his pants. But u don’t and he acc does cum his pants

Kitten- @yminie

Yoongi’s focus on work has subjected your relationship to having a dry spell, and with a little prompting from your best friend, you tell him exactly what he should do. But you don’t make the rules kitten, and the game you’re choosing to play is a dangerous one.

Wine- @junghelioseok

he makes staying after-hours absolutely worthwhile. restaurant au

Renatus- @mininky

(y/n) finds herself in a very unusual situation where her fate seems to be woven with Hades himself, who’s too much of a jerk for her to even admit that sure okay he’s kind of really good looking.

Cobalt and charcoal- @tayegi

soulmate au

Touch of silk- @floralseokjin

In a world where vampires coexist with the living, there are many humans looking for a cheap thrill…you’re ashamed to admit you’re curious too, putting to good use a dating app you find…but Min Yoongi is nothing like you imagined a vampire to be…

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beepathan · 4 years

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ok ive decided to just dump every thought i have on this post. buffoonery under the cut

ONE! AND HERE COMES THE TWO TO THE THREE BROS IN THE PLACE TO BE ICHIBANTTE DOUBLE B I shit i forgot the rest DOO DO DO DOOOO DO DO DO DO DOOOOO DOD OOOOO DO DOOOOOOOOOOO DOOOO DOOOOOD OOOOOD OOOOOD ODDOODOOOO i doubt thatd register as the pattern i intended it to to any one who read it. goddddd i need to yell and make noise but i CANTTTTTT flowers that bloom in the darkness its a sighting that is rare to come across nobody seems to have noticdd thay the power that has been bestowed is lust riding through the twilight this armory. protects my HEATRRRTT BADBADBABBDBADBABDBABBABBABDBDBBBBDBADBABDBABDBADBBADBABDBADBABDBADBABDABBBDBBADBANDBADBANDNAbDNABd cfnfn OFO GOD I WISH I COULD MAKE DUBSTEP NOISES OUT LOUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!yeah being a scientist is gonna be cool and all but i really wish i could go into music or visual art or something like. i want to make things creatively i want to create sounds and colors and characters and words i dont want to spend my days in a lab or teaching biology to high schoolers who couldnt care less. i mean ok actually being in a lab would be cool hypothetically depending on what sort of science specifically i would do. ive been biting the insides of my cheeks a lt lately and i cant move my face without feeling the places where my cheeks have become thinner even just in the slightest amount. im worried about the message my sister and i’s comic might accidentally send because theres a lot of moral ambiguity and the “good guys” arent really good at all. there arent really any good guys in our story just people the narrative follows. ill take you baaaaack my valkyrieeeeeee youre coming HOOOOOMe i wont lose. hope. bBABBAAAAAAAAADADAADBABBABABA shit how longs that empty drink been there. since this morning ok. i really cant envision a realistic future for myself where im happy and fulfilled. its not very fun to think about and im worried about the state of the world becasue it doesnt look like its going to get better. like the actions everyday people can take willl never be enough and we just have to hope the people with the power to start fixing things will actually do so. but we all know they wont and thats scary. it really does feel like humanity is rushing headfirst into its self-made doom and its all because of a few people. which fucking sucks i mean like. can someone ping the mods on earth and get the fuckers permabanned or something. establish a unified planet where we help each other instead of trying to destroy each other at the cost of destroying ourselves. id go to therapy but these arent issues i can overcome, its genuinely how it is and theres realistically nothing to be done except try to cope with it while the people causing this dont bat an eye at what theyve done. every single day the people with power CHOOSE not to make things better. and for WHAT? im not religious but i hope to fuck theres an afterlife and theres justice because. god whats even the point otherwise? shit im about to start spiralling. ok ill try to think about something else. really the only way to get things done is to Do them and it seems obvious even to those who dont get things done but like. it truly is an ordeal because Doing things ends up being a more complicated process than youd think. we really are what we do and not what we feel but i think for mentos illness its kinda the opposite. even if you can hide your symptoms its about whats going on inside, and that inside stuff directly contradicts a lot of the efforts you try to make externally somehow. mind over matter, but what if the mind is deliberately trying to sabotage your efforts? then again, it isnt malicious in nature. just as much as you Are your mind, you are also a creature, acting on instinct, even if that instinct is thought through and rationalized so that you do not view it as such. in the end all that separates me from a cell is how much of me there is. how much of the world i can interact with. a cell can only interact with as much as it is a part of, but i interact with so much more than i will ever know or perceieve. countless cells, microbes and shit, ive changed and moved and killed and created more of those than ill ever know, because just as i can not perceive the infinite wonder of the universe, i can not perceieve the life that goes on at a certain level smaller than me. where does the line get drawn, for the life i perceieve? will i ever spell perceieve right? no. i have the power to spell it right, but i choose not to correct myself, because i have deemed that action worthless. is that why the people in power refuse to make things better? do they deem the safety of those controlled by their systems worthless? in the grand scheme of things, i suppose theyd be correct. someday we will all cease to exist, and none of our actions, our thoughts and feelings, the things weve seen and loved and feared and been apathetic to, will matter, because at the end of the day, we are a speck in the infinite expanse of the universe. but what if we werent? what if my actions have meaning, outside this room, outside this country, outside this galaxy? just because i think it is worthless to correct my spelling mistakes on a post no one will ever see does not make it so. the cells in my body dont find it worthless when i breathe, when i eat and drink and live and die. i think my laundry might be done drying soon

#beeps #jesus i went places

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loove-persevering · 5 years

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Pool Party! (Shawn Mendes Imagine)

Description: Meeting Shawn at a mutual friends pool party:)

You were on your way to a pool party for your friend Jasmine, she always threw parties like this but you never could go. You were a nurse so your hectic schedule made it hard to get off, you spent long nights at the hospital but recently you got accepted into med school so even longer nights awaited you. Today was the perfect day to just sit back and relax, you had on your favorite bathing suit it was so freaking hot outside and Jasmine had a huge house with an even bigger pool. Jasmine worked along side tours for many artist over the past couple years which was a big accomplishment she was twenty five and you were her roommate for a while when you were in undergrad, she lived in an apartment and put out an ad and you called, she was the best friend you could have ever had and she helped guide you a lot of the time, she was one of your role models.

You had met a few celebrities thanks to her and you had no doubt some of them would be here today as well. You pull up to her house seeing all the cars parked in the driveway as well as the yard and you get out shutting your door, you notice someone else pull in behind you in a black range rover, you keep walking toward the front of the house. You see the back gate was open so you change direction making your way to the back, you rummage through your bag looking through your phone to text Jasmine. You finally find it and pull it out of the bag at the same time your body runs into someone else, you look up to see Shawn Mendes staring down at you. You had no idea he was one of her clients or friends even, ‘’Sorry,’’ You say feeling a little bit starstruck.

‘’It’s alright!’’ He says showing you his smile the one that made all the girls swoon, ‘’It was probably my fault anyway.’’ He says to you. He backs up allowing you to walk ahead of him and you do making your way to the gate. You open it walking in holding it for Shawn and the guy he was with, ‘’Thanks,’’ He says looking at you with a smile. You nod your head and smile back at him graciously, then you begin to look around for Jasmine.

‘’Y/N!’’ You hear someone yell. You’re then practically tackled to the ground by your curly headed friend, ‘’I’m so glad you could finally come!’’ She says squeezing you tighter.

She pull away and you reach up adjusting your sunglasses that had fallen in your face, ‘’Thanks Jas, me too!’’ You say back smiling at her.

‘’Let me go greet some people really quick and I’ll come back and find you alright?’’ She asks and you nod smiling at her. When she walks away you can already hear her yelling again, ‘’Shawn! Brian!’’ You hear her yell but you don’t turn around and walk over to one of the chairs she had laying out putting your stuff on it. You glance over at her when you’re putting your towel over the chair to see Shawn was already looking at you, you quickly look away putting your sunglasses over your eyes so you couldn’t have any more awkward eye contact with anyone.

You slowly remove your cover up exposing your bathing suit, it was a red one with ruffles and you absolutely loved it, you basically wore it anytime you went swimming. You didn’t have enough money to keep buying bathing suits, especially when getting to go out was so rare for you. You glance around the pool noticing all the other people here and some of them were staring at you, you couldn’t help but look back over to Shawn and he had sunglasses on now and didn’t seem to be looking. You lay down on the chair and decided to people watch, not a lot of people were here yet but you knew once they did you wouldn’t get to relax as much.

‘’Y/N!’’ Jasmine yells as she runs over to you, ‘’Guess what!’’ She squeals but in a hushed tone.

‘‘What?’ You ask leaning up taking your sunglasses and moving them to the top of your head.

‘’Shawn Mendes asked what your name was!’’ She says getting a little louder, you look around trying to see if anyone heard but nobody seemed interested in your conversation. ‘’He came over and asked who you were because he has never seen you at any of the pool parties, and then he was like well what’s her name and I told him and then he asked what you did but I was like go ask her yourself and then-’’ She says practically in one breath, you decide to cut her off putting your hand over her mouth laughing.

‘‘Take a breath in between words okay?’‘ You say laughing and she takes her hand pulling yours away from her mouth.

‘‘This is big news Y/N, big news!’’ She emphasizes. ‘’Shawn’s single, your single!’’ She says giving you a suggestive look.

You laugh at her, ‘’I’m taken actually his name is Med School,’’ You say laughing.

She gasps pulling you into a hug, ‘’Oh my gosh! You got in!’’ She says hugging you tighter, ‘’I’m so proud of you!’’ She yells and she pulls away beaming a smile at you. ‘’But still! This is Shawn Mendes were talking about!’’ She yells.

‘‘I’m sure he has plenty other girls that have caught his eye, you talk to him for a few weeks and then he’s onto the next.’‘ You say rolling your eyes.

‘‘That’s so not true Y/N!’‘ Jasmine says sounding slightly offended, ‘‘Shawn’s not like that he’s different.’‘ She says sounding sure.

‘’They always are,’’ You say knowingly. You hadn’t dated much during undergrad ever since you could remember you wanted to be a doctor, you would play pretend doctor, you took all nursing and medical classes throughout high school. Then when you got to college you really shut it down, you went full on into your studies and when you finally did meet a guy he broke up with you and said that it was intimidating to date you. You were sad but happy at the same time, he obviously couldn’t handle being with someone so head strong so you were more than happy to weed him out. But at the same time you felt as if your prime years were passing you by to meet someone, and you were spending them with your head in a book.

‘’I’m just saying Y/N, don’t let your life pass you up. Theres more out there for you then just med school, you’re more than just your career.’’ She says getting up and walking off. You sit there for a moment and think about it, she was right there was more but relying on the facts always made you feel safe. When you let other things in things that weren’t set in stone you had no idea where that would take you, and that made you feel as if you were losing control. You took pride in having so much self control, you were on your way to exactly where you wanted to be and you didn’t want to let in and lurking variables that could mess that up.

You get up making your way inside to go to the bathroom, when you get there the door was closed so you lean against the wall waiting out in the hallway. You waited for a few minutes and then the door opened and out walked the guy Shawn was with when he came in, ‘’Sorry!’’ He says.

‘’No problem!’’ You say to him.

‘‘Huge houses with not many bathrooms, it’s a little weird.’‘ He says and you laugh.

‘‘I guess rich people don’t have to use the bathroom!’‘ You say to him and he laughs moving aside letting you make your way in. You come out a few minutes later and walk back outside to your seat when you notice Shawn was sitting next to your towel laid back. ‘‘Hi,’‘ You say giving him a soft smile when you sit back down, you pull your sunglasses back over your eyes.

‘’Y/N right?’’ He asks and you look over at him and nod your head yes, ‘’Shawn,’’ He says introducing himself like I didn’t already know.

You smile at him, ‘’Nice to meet you!’’ You say. You weren’t gonna tell him you already knew that because he was a person like anyone else, he wanted to introduce himself personally not just as Shawn Mendes a famous person but in general just a person.

‘‘Likewise,’‘ He says keeping the smile on his face, he moves his body so now he was sitting up and facing you, ‘‘So how do you know Jasmine?’‘ He asks.

‘’Oh, we were roommates in college!’’ You say to him, ‘’I moved into her apartment when her old roommate left,’’ You clarify.

‘’Really, so you both went to (You pick the university!)?’’ He asks and you nod your head yes, ‘’So what do you study?’’ He asks sounding interested.

You look him over now taking in how good his body looked, you had to snap yourself out of it because you felt rude, ‘’Oh, I just got accepted into med school actually! I’m going to be a pediatrician.’’ You tell him not being able to contain your smile or your excitement.

‘’Wow!’’ He says in disbelief, ‘’Congrats then!’’ He says smiling at you.

‘’Yeah thank you! I’m really excited.’’ You say, ‘’Congrats to you too, I’ve heard your new album it’s amazing.’’ You say to him and he smiles, he take his hand putting it to his opposite shoulder and holding it there.

‘‘Thanks, It’s not med school but it’s something!’‘ He says blowing it off like it was nothing.

‘‘Hey! Don’t sell yourself short!’‘ You say to him sitting up slightly. ‘‘You’re really talented ask anyone here.’‘ You say laughing gesturing around to all the people.

He looks at you with a slightly amused look, ‘’Can I tell you something? Honestly?’’ He asks and you nod at him encouragingly. ‘’I sometimes think about what I’d be doing if it wasn’t this you know? Like so many people know me from my music and I love my job don’t get me wrong,’’ He pauses looking around then back at you staring straight into your eyes, ‘’But like people think because so many people know my name that my jobs so important, but then I meet someone like you and like I can’t help but think that just because so many people know who I am that my jobs not that important,’’ He says. He lets out a nervous laugh,’’Sorry that was a lot to throw on you for someone you just met.’’

You look at him sincerely, you could understand that. The world knew him for music but even sometimes you thought could you be doing something more important? You decide to share a story with him that helped you, ‘’You’re first album Handwritten,’’ You say and you see his head perk up a little bit, you felt a slight blush rise to your cheeks, ‘’When you came out with that album my parents were going through a really bad divorce, like really bad,’’ You say. ‘’I listened to Never Be Alone probably every night after my dad left and it helped me.’’ You tell him truthfully, ‘’So what you do matters, What you do helps, and what you do is important.’’ You say giving him a soft smile.

You watch him look over your face and a smile reaches the corner of his mouth, ‘’Thank you,’’ He says to you and you both look at each other for a few seconds. You break the gaze first looking back at the crowd of people now at the party, ‘’How long are you staying?’’ He asks and you look back to him picking up your phone checking the time.

‘‘Uh, maybe another hour or so. I have to go back home and do some studying,’‘ You say laughing lightly. ‘‘Lame I know,’‘ You say rolling your eyes playfully.

‘’No! Not at all,’’ He says to you sounding serious. ‘’Would you want to do something this week?’’ He asks you taking you by surprise.

You don’t answer for a second thinking about how this could play out, you could tell him no and go home and not give it a second thought. Or you could say yes and take the risk Jasmine would encourage you to do. You look up at him and see his lips slightly parted like he was about to say something, ‘’Yeah,’’ You say smiling at him watching a smile break out on his face.

This was you deciding to take the risk, before you could lose the chance.

SERIES? Leave me some feedback!

#Shawn mendes imagine #shawn x reader #shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes fluff

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spruceplank · 5 years

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Glitch06

First // Previous //Current // Next >> --------- Also on ao3!

At first it wasn’t noticeable. Maybe the blocks you just broke would suddenly go back to where they had been. Maybe your hits wouldn’t connect with the mob you were hitting. Then it slowly got worse and worse. And then the world around them started to vanish.

And that was only the beginning.

“Falsie?” someone was calling her name, who was it? They sounded familiar, “You back with us Falsie?”

Groaning she rubbed at her head. What an awful headache, “Ugghhhh what happened?”

Blinking against the light she tried to adjust to the seething brightness and searing pain in her head. Good lord had someone dropped an anvil on her head?

“Hey False look at me please?” Xisuma, that was Xisuma’s voice to her left. She turned to look at him and was taken aback because his visor was off? Xisuma rarely took that off. She could count the number of times it had happened on her two hands. “Whatever is was seems to be gone now, how do you feel Falsie?”

“I, I feel like someone dropped an anvil on my head.” she rasped out slowly looking around the room. Xisuma, Ren, Wels, and Joe took up most of her field of vision. They were in her bedroom, and there were a lot of people in here.

“Is Falsie good?” Iskall walked up and peered over Joe’s shoulder.

“Yeah aside from a bad headache,” Xisuma explained, “how’s Grian?”

“Still unconscious,” Iskall looks worriedly over his shoulder, between him and Joe she could see Grian slumped against the wall with purple wisps flying around him. Mumbo and Zedaph were frantically talking to Cub and Scar. Off to the side Doc stood with Tango and Impulse who were speaking between themselves. “No one can really figure out what happened.”

She looked around at all the other hermits worriedly, “Guys what happened?”

None of them looked at her, except Ren who had yet to stop staring at her face since she had woken up.

“Falsie, is it really you this time?” He stared at her in disbelief, voice quiet in a way that she cannot remember ever hearing before.

“Of course it’s me, what are you -”

Shes immediately cut off by a body slamming into hers and a loud wail. She barely stops the back of her head from hitting the wall. She awkwardly starts to rub his back as he sobs into her shoulder. What, what happened? She forgets to breathe as her eyes catch up to her brain and she remembers how he looked. Red angry scabs cover most of his face and neck. What had happened?

The others startle at the sound and turn to look at her. Across all her friends faces she can just see the instant they see her they all seem to calm down. Ren continues to sob and there’s nothing she can do but stare blankly at the air and worry for her friend.

She looks up at X and meets his eyes, “X, what, what happened?”

X only looks sadly at Ren before looking back at her, visior gone she’s able to clearly see the exhaustion on his face and the worry in his eyes. She can hear it in his voice, the tired defeat, when he speaks quietly, “Actually, we don’t really know what happened. We were hopping you could tell us.”

And so she does, once Ren calms down a little at least. She had started her day out like any other. Getting up, checking her messages, gathering things she would need for that days project. She’d set off down to her mines and was messaging Ren about plans they had made for later in the day. She’d mined for a while and got an inventory full of goods and decided to head back up. She had stopped responding to Ren because trying to type with a full inventory was a struggle and he could wait for a response until she walked back up out of the mines. Yet on the way back towards the stairs she saw a diamond sword laying on the ground. Tossing some coal out of her inventory she picked it up. The second she grabbed the hilt a voice seemed to echo inside her head. Though it was quiet, it was all she could hear in a strange voice that didn’t sound like anything she had ever heard before, “ᴡᴀᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ”.

“Then the next thing I knew, I woke up with a splitting headache and everyone gathered around worrying.” she explained.

“A sword, just lying there?” X repeated back to her, baffled.

She nodded, “Yeah it was really strange.”

“Did it look enchanted or anything?” Impulse asked.

She thought about it for a moment and then shook her head,“Not that I could tell, what happened to the sword?”

“It’s vanished.” Tango cut in from where he was leaned up against the wall, “When Grian killed you it didn’t drop with the rest of your items, it just vanished.”

“When Grian? Why did Grian kill me!”

Tango looked over at Grian as he spoke, “We just had pinned you down and then we managed to tie you up so you couldn’t maneuver the sword. Then once Grian and X showed up, Grian just… something happened.”

“What does that mean?”

Zedaph shuffled and looked at the ground, “Itw… it was like he wasn’t even Grian anymore…”

There was a pause. Everyone seemed to shuffle around unsure of what to do now. X, ever the leader, spoke up, “Well I don’t think we can really get answers on that front until he wakes up, so-”

“What did the voice sound like?” Scar interrupted. She looked over at him and he was staring directly at her. She knew, only from that look in his eyes, that somehow he had heard the exact same face.

“What was that Scar?” X asked.

“The voice that said wake up, what did it sound like?” Scar repeated, searching her face for the answer they both already knew.

Maybe for the others in the room or maybe just so they would both know for sure she answered, “Distorted. Glitchy. Ominous. Creepy.”

“I think I heard that voice too.” Scar admitted softly.

Cub looked worriedly at Scar, “When you were stuck in that chunk?”

“Wait, when what happened?” Joe asked.

Everyone looked to him to explain. He really didn’t want to. He didn’t want to relive that for even a second. But they had to figure out what was going on. And now that voice had spoken to False as well. Jellie purred in his arms and curled up closer to him if that was even possible. Jellie was here with him, he could do this. So he took a deep breath and explained what had happened.

He’d stopped along the way to Hermitville to renovate another village he had found. He had wanted to try out some ideas and after renovating the village in a futuristic modern style. He finally felt all set to head out to Hermitville. Him and Jellie were just walking through the taiga, enjoying nature and taking it slow. It was nice out and it was nice to just walk for once, but something happened.

He took a step and the ground beneath him vanished in a flash. The entire chunk he had just stepped into became just empty space. .For a minute he was just frozen there in midair. He couldn’t see anything. He assumed he was floating, he didn’t feel like he was falling. But without sight he couldn’t be sure. And then the noise started. It was a horrible buzzing noise that was just at the end of his hearing range. His ears were ringing within seconds. After a few minutes it started to become painful. He thought he’d lose his hearing at the rate things were going. But the buzzing ended after what felt like an eternity, and something much much worse took its place.

He could hear everything. The animals in the distance, cows mooing, wolfs barking, and sheep baaing. He could hear the wind in the leaves, the sound of things walking over the grass and dirt, and worst of all, he could hear Jellie. Jellie who walked in circles, back and forth, back and forth meowing sadly at where he probably was. Then that would fade and the buzzing would return.

It felt like an eternity. That he was stuck there. In pitch black darkness. Unable to move or even scream. Just the sound of his ears ringing or the world he had vanished from around him. He didn’t even hear Cub or Xisuma arrive, the ringing in his ears too loud to even think. One second he had been trapped in stasis. Cold, alone, and terrified, and the next he was on the ground. Cub reaching out to him. As the ringing in his ears faded out, and Cub’s voice started to flow in, there was a voice from what felt like everywhere, the universe itself, “I sᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜ”

There’s a heavy silence as he finishes his story. He’s only grounded in reality by Jellie’s soft purrs against his chest and Cub’s hand on his shoulder. Anything that would’ve been said though is quickly pushed aside when theres a soft groan from behind him. He shifts and sees Grian’s eyes blink open.

However, no one even gets a word out before Grian’s eyes fly open and Scar can see the panic in them. Before he can even speak Grian has already thrown his hands out and the strange wisps of purple magic that had been in the air around him while he slept gather in his palms and pulse outwards.

He doesn’t even have time to react as he’s thrown from his feet. It’s only years of stumbling while holding Jellie that he manages to maneuver so he falls backwards instead of forward onto Jellie. The breath in his lungs is knocked out as he hits the ground hard. Jellie jolts awake and meows loudly. Across from him he sees Mumbo, who landed less gracefully, face down and was slowly sitting up rubbing his head. In a cascade effect they have all seemed to have been knocked over. Those like him and Mumbo, closest to Grian, had fallen over completely, while those like False, across the room, only seemed started by the pulse of magic.

He feels different when he starts to come to. Someone nearby is talking but he can’t understand what they’re saying. What he does understand is the magic in the air around him. It’s mad at him for forgetting about it for so long. It seems to dance in the air around him agitated about something. Its trying to talk to him but he doesn’t remember how to speak that language. He can feel it around him though. He tries to listen to it but he can’t really quiet get it. Blearily he tries to open his eyes. He can make out vague shapes in front of him and in his half awake state he can clearly see the magic that’s dancing around him. Then like he’s known the language his entire life, he can hear what the magic has been trying to tell him. In an urgency he can only recall fear from it calls to him, “wake up”

Maybe its the confusion, the abundant magic, forgotten things he can only recall echoes of, but something in his gut is terrified. And without even thinking about it, he sends the magic around him pulsing outwards.

The loss of energy that comes from it brings him back to his senses as he hears several grunts and yelps as people fall over around him. Truly opening his eyes this time he finds himself sitting in a room full of his fellow hermits, most of which are on the ground in some form due to the magic that just bowled them over like sticks.

“Uh… hi?” he greets awkwardly, not really knowing whats going on. He wants to say more but his and every other hermit’s communicators ding simultaneously, the way the only do when someones died. Pushing down the chilling fear that still has yet to release its grip on him, he pulls out his communicator only to be hit with a awful sense of deja vu.

iJevin was finished off by Biffa2001 using [¡!フㄣㄣĿㄣㄣ:フリ]

#glitchau #hermitcraft #hermitcraft fanfiction #the hermit collective #uh oh sisters!#im too lazy to tag everyone bc sleeby #also lemme know what yall think

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iamsonyeondone · 6 years

Text

heir!seventeen // jeon wonwoo

♥ fluffy

♥ 2.3k words

♥ summary: falling in love with your best friend was quite inevitable but confessing your feelings was a choice - but that’s not how your friends see it

ok so being the only child and only heir to your father's company is absolute shit

you have to go to these obnoxious parties all the time and personally get to know the sponsors and partners of the company for future references

and sometimes its nice to see familiar faces

but 90% of the time its an old guy who looks like he might die any minute because their wives planned the murder

ANYWAYS, its rare to go to a party and see someone your age

so whenever you do, you always make the effort to get to know them

and one of them in particular, has been going to the same parties as you

and look who it is!! jeon wonwoo who now becomes your partner in crime whenever you guys attend the same party

and it also helps that his father is one of the closest partners to your father's company

so you guys see each other almost all the time

and it's been going on since you were old enough to grasp about financing and stuff

aka since you were 13

most of the time, you try to run away from your father's watchful eyes and go sneaking around with wonwoo if there's good snacks around

and sometimes he'll bring his best friend jun because he knows where all the good stuff is placed

no, not alcohol i don't allow underage drinking in my christian suburbs

but more like those extravagant desserts that chefs make for the restauraunts in the hotels

"wonwu, you already took 2 of those and i only took one you greedy butt >:(("

"buts its too good D:"

"fine then you'll have to ask the chef for another one since you ate the portion we were suppose to cut in half"

and it's a never-ending cycle of sneaking around and finding good places to hide from these people full of money

because all they ever talk about is growth, expansion and partnerships

and its much more interesting to listen to wonwoo's point of view

because he doesn't only talk about the positivities but also other things he have suspicioned about the other companies

like theres this one dude who only speaks to the higher ups and suck up to them

and even 13 year old wonwoo caught sight of him and told his dad about how fishy the guy was being

a year later and the man was arrested for illegal money lending

and hearing his stories are way more interesting than having to focus on just one aspect

because wonwoo CAN talk alot if its something he's interested in

so sometimes he makes references to games whenever he sees fit because its way more easier for a teenager to understand

and he's generally really nice and open-minded for a scrawny 13 year old

so when the both of you got enrolled into the same high school and knock into each other during orientation

the both of you were so delighted!!

so delighted to the point you almost screamed and embarrassed him in front of a huge crowd of a thousand people

and he doesnt look any different than the suits he wear but he looks more like his age with the uniform on

and so did you!!

from then on, the both of you introduced each other to one another's friends

and had lunch with each other's mutual friends

and it's way more comfortable than the stuffy chandelier-lit halls you've gotten used to

but the both of you agree that the melon bread sold at school tasted way more better than the desserts at the hotels

its way more simpler than having to disect some kind of sphere structure with a concocted cream in it or something

and sooner or later, your friends have come to realize how they feel left out when the both of you talk about the parties

and they don't mean it in a rude way!!

because seeing the both of you light up about a topic that you guys simultaneously had in your heads is like watching some kind of twin telepathy

and sometimes soonyoung likes to tease wonwoo that the two of you were so similar to the point that you guys might end up dating

and soonyoung says it when you're not around because that one time he did, the both of you didn't talk to each other for a whole week just to 'prove' to the others that you guys weren't alike at all

and papa scoups didn't like seeing wonu get more frustrated when they play games together at his house

and also mainly because they keep losing even if their opponents were terrible

so papa scoups did his job to give soonyoung an earful and make sure he doesnt bring it up around the both of you again

and tbh, ever since that day, you couldn't really see wonwoo in the same light again

you could still remember how he looked like when he was a quiet 13 year old

but he seemed more dashing and charming than he used to be

even in the school uniform, he looked as heart-throbbing as he did when he wears his black suit to the parties

and you just push those thoughts away because wonwoo?? the guy you nerd out with?? looks damn hot?? i dont know her

and wowee, the same goes for wonwoo

because he's finding your laugh to be more addicting even if you snort from time to times

and the way your eyes crinkle when you smile so wide and it just clenches his heart

mmm love me some best friends pining for one another

but you guys try to avoid the thoughts and continue your normal routine as if nothing happened

the both of you think you guys are doing Great™ at hiding your feelings but ooo boi

its always either one of you admiring each other subconciously

and always bringing up about the other person when they're not around

and your friends are all getting really frustrated because why aren't you guys feeding them #powercouple content??

so being the best friends that they were planned a little something

they planned that soonyoung would bring up the dating topic again but with a twist

it is for you guys to prove to your friends that the both of you didn't look good together

aka give it a damn try or neither one of you will know you airheads >:((

but of course with papa scoups permission because they wouldnt want to have to deal with a nagging old man in a teenager's body

so the plan took place during lunch and just when the both of you brought up about a past event, soonyoung brings up the topic once more

but jeonghan was quick to interrupt and add on the extra spicy details ;))

and the both of you are like "FinE but We'll sAy wE toLd You sO whEn iT doeSnt woRk oUt"

so you being competitive holds wonwoo'ss hand, startling him and turning him bright red as you turned your head towards jeonghan with fire in your eyes

"stop looking at me like that, your new boyfriend wonwoo will get jealous," jeonghan teased as wonwoo has his mouth gaping like a goldfish

and the thought of him riles him up a little but not to the point where he got really annoyed

so he simply brushed it off and confidently said that "they can do whatever they want, it's not like we're super entitled or whatever,"

and you're just like riGht you guys aren't 'actually' dating

but it wouldn't hurt if you saw it that way right?

from then on, wonwoo would try his best to surprise you with something before class, like melon bread or your favourite drink

and then he would just internally scream because he's always been doing that anyway

and walking you to your next class?? he's also done that ever since the first day of school

and he's trying to think of something else he could do to surprise you while he waited for your class to finish

but then a guy from your class walks over to your desk with a smirk grin, hand on your desk as he bends down to see you eye to eye

and you're like??? we've never spoken to each other since the term started?? what do you want from me??

and this guy just has the audacity to look you up and down like a piece of meat

and Let Me Tell You, when wonwoo saw how that guy didn't give you respect and the space that you desperately needed

he barged into the class and peeled the guy away from your desk

"what matters do you have with her?"

and the guy scoffs, sending him a side eye "who do you think you are? her boyfriend or something? the last time i heard, she was single and not dating her best friend,"

and taking advantage of his fake title, he grabs you bg the waist and brings you closer to him

"you must've heard that a long time ago. they're mine, so if you could kindly back off and mind your own damn business,"

AND EVERYONE IS OOING SO LOUDLY that the guy just staggers backwards and with that glare that wonwoo was shooting at the guy, he backs off and bows down with an apology

and he's so lucky that the class had already ended because he just whisks you away from the crowd

because he's blushing bright red and turning sweaty with all those eyes at him that the pits of his blazer might just soak through

oh boy your heart is beating so loudly that youre afraid he might hear

dont worry his heart beating pretty loudly too

and you're just so surprised by this confident wonwoo that you couldnt help but fall deeper in love with him

would it be like this if the both of you actually dated?? to be treated so lovingly by someone you loved with all your heart??

but everything soon grew awkward once again as he let go of your hand and clear his throat while you brushed through your hair

“im sorry-” the both of you simultaneously apologised, earning a confused look from wonwoo as you blushed furiously under his gaze

“what are you sorry for?” he inquired

“it’s just- you having to rescue me from that weird situation,,,”

you trailed off before wonwoo lets out a soft chuckle

“how many times have i saved you from a creepy jerk at a party? Im just doing my job as a best friend,”

and then it hit you

is that all he ever saw you as ?? a best friend ??

“wait what?”

and without you noticing, you had spilled the words and feelings you had kept for so long

“I- I’m sorry Wonwoo i dont know what got over me, just forget it. we better get to class,”

but a hand tugs you back away from wherever you were running to as your face collides into something, or someone

and a pair of arms prevents you from escaping as your surprised yelp was muffled by his chest

“Do you want this to be an actual relationship?”

and you’re speechless

because one minute he’s saying you’re his best friend and now he’s saying about making this real

“wonwoo- please I just- we’re friends and we wanted to prove we were just that-”

“then are you going to ignore my feelings? for the sake of proving to people that we don’t have something that’s obviously there?”

he spoke up, bringing you to face him as you held your breath from the short distance between the both of you

“i can already feel them saying i told you so,” you trailed off, your eyes trailing down to his lips and back to his glistening dark eyes

“at least I’m not single at the end of the day, unlike those losers,”

he chuckles, bringing your face closer to his until both your lips touch and melt at the contact

“i tOld yoU So,” a voice echoed through the hallway as you see Minghao and Jun running through the corridor, assuming that they were going to spread the good news to the rest

“looks like I have an actual date to the parties now”

and your relationship from then on was pretty much the same

except the feeling of sneaky arms around your waist when youre talking to another heir at a party and the dominant gaze you felt beside you

or the fact that wonwoo now leaves cheesy post-it notes on your favourite bread and drink when he has to rush to his own class

ps he makes sure he writes them before he goes to school because yknow the boys will never let him live if they saw those cute notes

because he’ll either write his favourite lines from books that reminded him of you or add gaming pick up lines that you may or may not understand

but you know he puts efforts in those so you always give him a peck on his forehead or his cheek to show your appreciation

because jeon wonwoo isnt the type to naturally show his affection

and because pda isnt really his thing

but dont worry because he showers you in kisses and cuddles you as much as you want when the both of you are alone

aka whenever the both of you sneak out from parties or when the both of you meet up at each other’s houses

just saying but both your parents fully support this relationship because it ensures that this partnership continues for the next generation

like they are So totally not planning your wedding already they are obv yall are so cute wtf

a/n: i finallly got my laptop back but i don’t have as much motivation or inspiration to write so if you guys want to send in requests, feel free to do so ^^

#kpop #imagine #imagines #scenario #scenarios #fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert #x reader #jeon wonwoo #wonwoo #seventeen #'svt #17 #pledis #heir au

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mattyslittleworld · 3 years

Text

dead mans coffee

July / 2020

Just woke up in my front seat, at a rest stop in Tennessee. First thing I saw was my ALL WILL SUFFER tattoo on my leg. A constant reminder of a different person. Tomorrow I’m getting coffee with Skrillex’s right hand man in Nashville, and I’m nursing a cold coffee in the heat watching this crazy lightning shoot across the skyline. It looks like the end of the world. Or some fucked up Lucero song. I must’ve pulled over for a second and closed my eyes and just dropped dead for hours while parked, I’m on the way to my hotel.

I am sitting in a diner on broadway in Nashville, TN. Nursing another shitty coffee booking meetings. As the texts come in I ignore them because they are covering the screen and distracting me from reading and studying how to properly sell my soul to the devil at the crossroads In Mississippi.

Clarksdale, Mississippi

12:30 am

Where Robert Johnson, Bob Dylan, and now, Matty Carlock, sold their souls to the devil.

December / 2020

Sitting in my home, in Hollywood, CA. I have the window open, and I hear the subtle sound of LA breathing, cars passing on the boulevard, sirens off in the distance, and a vinyl record of mine spinning at the lowest volume possible for me to still hear yet ignore it. I feel calm and at peace, although, it seems like a parallel feeling is war, confusion, imposter syndrome, abandonment, and skeptical. How could these two umbrellas of emotion coexist? Its very interesting. Ive been recording so much music that has nothing to do with my artist project. Its been liberating to put that aside for something greater. A new focus. Leaving artistry a vessel solely for extreme self expression and cathartic release.

July / 2020

Winding the day down, 10:30pm. With an open tab that reads “Tigers Jaw holiday show” - on pause. I open my Mac book on my couch, ready to go through stems and ratchet strip club beats, and it catches my eye. I press play and it leads me down a rabbit hole. I find myself watching “Never Saw It Coming” right into “Chemicals” / live in Boston. Like lightning it struck through my entire body. Maybe it was the 2 hour long conversation with Andy? And the memories we were trading. The bond we have over hard times, innocence, violence, literal blood on the pavement, years of freezing in the winter....nowhere to go. The people that were around - we made forever memories to these two songs. I right away, made a playlist that consists of “The Sun, I Saw Water, Chemicals, Never Saw It Coming, and Planes”. On top of that I found the live acoustic set they recorded and put out. When I was young on DIY tours, sleeping on floors, dirty as shit, poor as shit, a human being at the very best.....the uncertainty of my near future was so bleak. I remember Title Fight came out with their record “Shed” - and the song “where am I?” would lay me down on long drives, or on the floor. I’d watch white lines pass one by one by one into the abyss of nothing.

The line

“Another floor

A different ceiling than the night before

Where am I?

While you’re back home”

Missing my girlfriend at that current time, leaving, and just laying on a strangers floor thinking where am I while you’re back home? What am I doing? Maybe there’s nothing only this moment?

On the tigers jaw live EP they covered this acoustic and it’s everything right now. I am fortunate to live a block away from the sunset strip - and I grabbed my skateboard and just bolted into the night.

This SO SPECIFIC FEELING of these songs. That nobody in this environment will ever understand. It’s so beautiful. It’s so real. It’s so raw. It’s exactly what I need right now - as the past 3 weeks I’ve been living here have moved faster than the past 4 years. A loss of identity easily awaits you. It’s like you fight your whole life for that moment, to get to where you dream of, to get a shot. Scrape and crawl. And then reset. Since I’ve been living in Hollywood my day to day has been a huge mirror for me. The parts of myself I’ve been trying out run have caught me. Maybe all of this could coexist?

March 2nd / 2021

Spring is here. Its 75 degrees in LA and theres this new thing I noticed while driving around…..the overbearing smell of flowers in the air. It sounds like a movie. Its fucked up cause It felt like a funeral in my car. I was like what the fuck is happening? It smells like a small funeral in here….are my dreams dying? Am I dying? Is punk dead? Okay its just a Ryan gosling movie out here I guess. Whatever lets go. Here’s some hatrebreed. But the windows are down. My mood is different. My spirit is lifted, which ive been desperate to say. I automatically get punched in the guts with the feeling of driving so fucking fast, and blasting title fight. Skateboarding. Looooooooooong drives with fucked up friends to out of state shows no one will be at. Im listening to Stab by Title Fight - off the Shed LP. What a specific time in my life this brings back. That I usually talk about on this little throw up blog often. Spring is such a pivotal time in my life every year. Since covid shows stopped - human decency stopped - community stopped - my natural habitat was taken from me, and all of my friends and family. I remember living in New York in 2011. At the New Yorker. I was studying at the Institute Of Audio Research to be a janitor in my home town. Because that’s what they teach you. Instead of studying compression, and listening to washed up hacks talk to me about music, I would walk out my building onto 8th ave. B Line it Penn Station. Get on the LIRR and ride that shit right into the best LI shows every night I could. Id meet all my friends from Jersey / NYC / Philly and even Baltimore because it was so common to make it a priority to no matter what, drive hours on end to support a hardcore shows and to not lose touch with the hundreds around the country that you call family. Drive to Richmond for a shows on a Monday night, go off, hit a diner after with your new found tribe, then drive home, be back at 6 am, and just stumble into your bullshit job with a black eye or scratches all over you. It was all worth it. Probably quit that job anyway to go on tour with your friends band and live as gypsies for the entire summer too. Spring embodies this spirit for me. Church parking lots in Doylestown, PA - full of kids from all over the country, who left their problems in their hometown, to just get on the road with their best friends and basically start a new life. It is just amazing how formative those years were for a lot of my friends. I have people I met at shows from all over the country messaging me always checking in, and supporting, and sometimes it feels like I know them better than my first cousins, aunts and uncles. We were at war together. We fought against the world together. We found ourselves together. We created shit from nothing. Determination and passion. Oh no….Planes by Tigers Jaw just came on. You know the vibe. This shit just hits so different now as a pop / hip hop producer. This PA scene, mixed with NJHC, just stood me up and gave me confidence to have my own voice, my own thoughts, and to fight back. Something about being in a shitty car and it smells like dirty vans and like…..axe to cover up the smell. BELTING Basement and car moshing and almost driving off a bridge. Listen. I know every single blog is about this. But fuck you fight me. ITS CALLED SELF EXPRESSION GRANDMA. SO STRAP INTO YOUR BOOT THINGS AND ENJOY THE RIDE TO NOWHERE. Its been crazy living in LA. I live directly on Hollywood BLVD, on the Walk Of Fame. Where I was almost killed two weeks ago over someones gang that my ass is not in. My guy looked at me and said YO YOU MATTY? And I was listening to Taylor swift in my headphones walking back from Starbucks and it was so funny how different my energy was. I was like bro can you kill me already dude because these Taylor tones are so good that they gunna just end up killing me anyway. So perfect timing. I think the guy was mad at my friend to say the least lol. But every night its loud 808’s, the sounds of the city, amazing energy, and neon lights shining in from lit up billboards off the BLVD. Its such a culture shock for me. I feel like im too aggressive just from being east coast. But its just what it is. It took me a little to adapt to being in sessions and meetings with seasoned people in this industry who have major cuts and recognition. But I just learned to double down on myself, and be as authentic as I possibly can be. Theres nothing like crushing writing sessions in the pop realm, then turning off my shit, unplugging, and run into the night with my skateboard and old punk records. It’s almost like my own secret that is becoming my blood. I haven’t been communicating with the ones who like my music, have interest in what im doing, come to my shows etc - since I touched down here….I just unplugged….started writing HEAVY and decided to dedicate months to getting better, learning, becoming smarter, discovering a vision that’s much broader than what were sold, finding myself, making sure my wisdom is parallel to my age - if not wise beyond my years. A lot of artists and bands SING, PLAY, PERFORM, PROMOTE. But I have decided to WATCH, ATTEND, and LISTEN. Everynight I sit down with tea, unplug, and spin records on my turntable…in the dark, in my living room, alone….all kinds of records. From The National, to Springsteen, to Title Fight, to Hendrix, to the rare Troublemaker LP and 7” I have…..Sharon Van Etten, Jesse Malin…..ugh. Its just bliss. Pure bliss. Right now im drinking coffee and bouncing from listening to Into It Over It and American Football. I spent all last night rapping my ass off, mixing, and singing ref vocals for other people. It was so fun. Im finding a lot of my new material is this spirit im talking about - but over hip hop production. I want to tell my life story and combat the stereotypes of modern rap and pop music with true intentions and unique tones of untold stories that press, radio, and this market usually doesn’t get fed. Ive also realized a lot of music I was promoting over the past year to come out (prior to the pandemic) hasn’t come out….and I know people are questioning that….what is happening? So before covid I had German solo dates booked - and then I was going to the UK right after. I have a bunch of single drops lined up with music videos. Some you can guess with who. And then the pandemic hit and I canceled everything and decided to pivot my focus into my passion for songwriting and production, instead of sitting around “waiting for shows to come back.” I pretended that shows were never going to come back and doubled down on my career as a producer, that at the time, still is, moving forward at a faster rate than my artist shit. So I packed my shit after offers, and opportunity presented themselves. Touched down on a Tuesday, with meetings that Friday. Off to the races. In sessions that following Monday. Fast forward here we are. Hungry, learning, learnt, turned 30. Looking at the next decade like Mcgregor at the weigh in. Fight ready. Ive learned so much since the fall that all of the music I had planned on releasing, I loaded it back up, tore it apart, and re built it. So its not stale, so its not expired, so its not “then”….so its NOW. Which im so glad I did, and im doing. I don’t think ive been in the booth more. My mind is so stimulated by this wave im on. And its got me in a good place. Now that the spirit of spring is here, my mental health is going to be taking a big leap as well and im going to do everything I can to just flood all of this content. I think Never Meant by American Football is the best song ever made. Me and Mike were talking about doing a song together a few months ago and that would be such a trip for me.

I wanted to talk about my recent trip to Joshua Tree. I was invited by Christopher Thorn from Blind Melon to live at his studio for a few days to write together. I didn’t really know what to expect. I met him once or twice thru Clinch, and just around the Sea Hear Now circle back east, and I was familiar with No Rain (his hit). We got on the phone, picked a weekend where it’d work for both of us, got some covid tests, and boom. Packed my shit again (right off a flight back from New York, where I shot 3 music videos, and did 1 remote session in 2 fucking days), and drove out to the desert. There is no address so I had a map. It was epic. It was in the desert desert. Like THE DESERT FAM. Coyotes at night, snakes and shit. The air was so dry, your lips would get chapped to let you know death was right around the corner so you better man up baby boy. Beforehand - from all the traveling and flights, and burning myself out on videos and sessions, I found myself listening to a lot of acoustic Nebraska Springsteen type shit. John Moreland, or even like acoustic bayside, Lucero, Leonard Cohen, Tom Waits…..just pure music with no samples, not gridded, not sold, no machine, no click, just real live country music inspired by the human condition….of the earth. It was just speaking to my soul…..so when we booked this to get in the room together….man was I ready. I don’t think ive had an experience so fruitful to the soul. And ive played shows in Slovenia, and sipped espresso on a bridge that looked like a painting, staring at subtle mountain tops off in the distance like I was a character in some book. We started working at night and ran it up till like 3 am. As the sun came down the lights off in the distance miles and miles away were so clear because we were just the only life form around….and it would just shine into the studio windows and reflect on the perimeter making it seem like we were surrounded by New York City. It did a lot for my soul to play drums, acoustic, sing, play piano, shred electric, even mix a little. I felt like I made a very fast lifelong friend. Its been a minute since I got on with someone like that. We talked a lot about growing up touring. And wed finish each others sentences regarding topics that ONLY people like us would know. Like Subway being a life line for DIY touring, or the weird strange feelings of comfort from rest stops in the middle of nowhere at 4 am, the rest stop coffee that you get to just make the next 2 hours of the drive into town bearable. But then you see your boy from your band in the other aisle so you throw shit at him. Then you all stumble back into the van/bus and just disappear into the night. This shit was so needed for me. When Id wake up, id make espresso, and just sit out front and listen to Joe Rogan, at this random chair that was behind his studio, facing the mountains. Just endless property waiting to leave you 6 feet in the ground. I sat there and sipped my espresso, and just reflected on the long journey of my career. How many random moments like this ive found myself in since I was 15. In the middle of the desert where Springsteen hangs out with my heroes, off the strength of my songwriting. Or in Romania drinking coffee, fucked off, on a bench far from the venue, by random train lines in the pouring rain by myself. The farthest from humanity I can be. Or the random VFW hall in my head that I don’t even know where it is, with my little punk crew, who all smell like complete shit and cigarettes and soda, fucked off god knows where, just to finger point and sing along to this band we found on myspace that were in OUR hometown the weekend prior singing to our band. Theres just an endless string of memories that can go on forever, with stories that just fulfill a lifetime, of conversations that just make the white lines on I95 move faster. Or just everyone is quiet - reading a book - texting - exhausted from the night prior - and you just ABRUPTLY turn on teenage dream by Katy Perry SOOOO LOUD - take your shirt off and start dropping it like its hot from the passenger front seat, and catch a mid afternoon front flip stage dive into the backseat. From those youthful days of this underground spirit, to existing in a realm of pure monsters of my craft, I truly believe this next decade could co exist and be one for the books. Damn I feel good. Also me and Sasso started a book club called BSU and you can’t be in it because you probably read books and the only rule for our book club besides not speaking about book club is, you can’t read books. Okay im going to go buy a bike right now so I can ride It to Mexico and get abducted by the cartel and sold for bitcoin. FAREWELL EARTHLINGZ.

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