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roonyxx · 2 years

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Same 2/4 Different Hearts

By Jay-and-dean and Roonyxx

Pairings : AU Dean x reader, Dean x reader

Summary : Two Deans… What could go wrong ?

Warnings : Smut, Angst, hurt (and jealous) Dean, hurt AU Dean, hurt reader… hurt everyone. Swearing, Alcohol, drunk Dean and a dash of violence.

Wordcount : 5k

Note : This is a collaboration beetween both of us. We can’t both edit the same post, so we decided we would post 1 chapter/2 each. So if you want to read chapter 3, it will be edited on @jay-and-dean ‘s blog as soon as we can!

We both worked as much on this story and it’s the result of both our brains but also both our hearts.

Please, if you want to show love for this story, don’t forget we were together in this.

Catch up on chapter 1: Same ¼ Same Eyes on @jay-and-dean‘s blog!

Part 1 : Same eyes

Part 2 : Different hearts

Part 3 : Same names

Part 4 : Different souls

Roonyxx Masterlist

Jay’s Masterlist

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2. Different Hearts

While he was leaving, trying to remember how to breathe, his double self fell heavily on the woman he loved so much, panting in her ear, leaving a trail of light unfocused kisses in her neck.

“That was…” he said as she cupped his face to kiss his lips one last time.

This is it, it’s over now, she thought as she crushed her lips on his. She had to let him go.

“You’re…” she started, not really knowing what to say.

“You’re really something, Love” he said with a sweet smile on his sweaty face.

He gently withdrew and laid on his side next to her, after he got rid of the condom, his hand searched hers to stroke it.

“You too… You’re so sweet and…” she turned to see the exact same face of the man she loved just beside of her. “God” she sighed, rubbing her face.

“I look like him” he stated, taking her by surprise.

“Wh-what ?” she gasped, suddenly terribly ashamed.

He turned on his side and rested his head on his arm, searching her face.

“I look like the man that holds your heart” he simply said.

She couldn’t move for a second, a pained frown on her features.

“I’m s-sorry” she stammered but he offered her the kindest smile.

“It’s okay” he assured her, clearing his throat. “I understand, I really do.”

But it suddenly didn’t seem right to her and a lump grew in her throat.

“No…” she sat on the bed, taking the sheets to hide, turning her back on him. “It’s really unfair to you.”

But she felt the mattress move and his arms wrapped around her body from behind, his chin resting on her shoulder.

“I haven’t been totally honest to you either, Y/n…” she said seriously in her ear. “I lost you in my world. You… you are very much alike… Just worlds apart.”

She felt her heart break and tears filled her eyes instantly. Was she a reflexion too ? At least her Dean was not lost…

“Me ?”

“You, Love” he whispered, putting a soft kiss on her neck. “I should have told you… I just, miss her so much…. I’m sorry.”

“You were… together ?” she dared, gently putting her hand on his fingers resting on her collarbone.

“We were amazing” he murmured, and after a short silence, just holding her, he talked again : “You should talk to him.”

“No” she frowned. “And you won’t either.”

“Y/n…”

“Promise me” she ordered.

“Fine” he sighed. “I won’t say a word. But you really should make a move, Love, believe me.”

“I already know he doesn’t like me like that, Dean…”

“How can you be sure of that ?” he genuinely asked. “I mean I’m literally him and…”

“No, my Dean is different” she cut him.

She could never be with him, he wasn’t some copy or anything. He was Dean, the real one, the one even God admired, the one that went through Hell and everything. She shook her head, feeling like a monster for thinking like this, the man holding her deserved better than being treated as a “copy”.

“He…” she spoke again to try and make her words a little softer. “He had a real relationship once, it’s just not for him.”

“That’s what people said about me before my Y/n” he stated.

“I’m so sorry you lost her” her voice was full of tears.

“And I’m really sorry you can’t be with him” he murmured.

Something fell on them, like a veil of tenderness, both sincerely knowing how much the other was broken, feeling their radiating love for… almost each other.

But suddenly, a sharp pain hit Y/n’s heart : Out of her selfishness, she had slept with a stranger, at home, even the guys didn’t do that. She had “spied” on her best friend’s body… How would she react if him or Sam or anyone else among her close friends had found a copy of her and undressed her ?…

The man she loved the most in the world, to whom she dedicated her life, that she defended like a lioness because everybody always took on him… She finally betrayed his trust too. And a new kind of self hate was growing inside her.

But above all of that, she had used a man she didn’t know without thinking twice of what it could mean to him. And now that he was gently shaking with emotions, holding her so kindly, probably holding back a steam of tears, her own heart exploded with guilt.

“I’m so selfish” she let out in a poorly held back sob.

“I wanted it too” he tried, stroking her arms.

“I’m just reopening scars.”

“They were never healed, Y/n” he assured her. “Listen, our story stopped so brutally, her life…” she heard him swallow hard.

“You deserve better” she whispered and a tear fell on her shoulder, making her turn to see him.

He wiped his face and smiled.

“Yeah… she always said that.”

“I’m sorry” she whined, turning her whole body to cup his face, forgetting the sheets that were supposed to hide her. “I wish I could do something…”

“You can” he stated low, looking away.

She frowned, a little confused but she would have done anything to make her mistakes right. Anything. So she nodded without even knowing what he was going to ask.

“I never had time to say goodbye… To get my closure. I know it’s a lot to ask…”

“Yes” she cut him. “I will be her.”

He shut his eyes hard, like he was in pain and she let go of his face, taking a deep breath to brace herself.

“I’m so sorry, Love” he let out in a sob and the last pieces of her heart shattered. “I wasn’t fast enough and I really should have seen that demon… I…”

She gently took his hand, trying to handle his wet eyes on her, now she noticed he was just has damaged as her Dean, his Hell had just been different.

“I still…” he continued, now cupping her face. “I still smell your perfume before I go to bed… I did… before the world… I lost that too now. A-and I know you always told me I was the bravest but” heavy tears were soaking his face. “Now that you’re gone I don’t feel brave at all.”

“You are” Y/n assured him. “You’re brave and you’re not alone. You have Sam. Dean, never forget that you’re the best team together.”

“Yet I feel so lonely… I still sneak out to our bar alone to drink cheap whiskey and dance on those crackling country songs. Except no one dances with me…”

“I’m sure we’ll meet again in Heaven” Y/n said, barely handling his pain.

“I don’t doubt that” he smiled though the tears.

“I love you” Dean said.

She felt her own tears fall on her breasts. She would never hear that again for sure, but now she knew how it felt…

“I love you, Dean” she answered.

He put his forehead on hers, leaning closer to put a kiss on her lips and whispered a strangled “Goodbye, Love”.

Then he got up and started picking up his clothes, silently covering himself as she stayed kneeled on the bed, tears rolling along the curves of her face and breasts.

“I’m sorry” he said as he put his hand on the handle. “Thank you… Goodnight Y/n.”

After he left, she stayed a while on her knees, holding her face in her hands, crushed by her guilt and by her pain for her one night lover. She only fell asleep in the middle of the night, trying to calm her sobs with the idea that, at least, her Dean was safe in his bed.

She was wrong.

- Next day -

Y/n entered the kitchen, going straight to the coffee. She softly smiled towards the two Sams who were discussing something about latin verbs.

Her Sam could see the smile was not convincing. He was right not to believe her expression, she felt… awful. She regretted her night with the softer version of Dean, what if the real Dean found out ? It was his body and she saw every inch of it… She knew what he looked like underneath those clothes, even without his consent.

She had cried all night after she returned to her room. Not only because of the feeling that she used the gentleman but also for abusing her Dean’s privacy.

Another set of footsteps arrived in the kitchen, Y/n looked to see who it was, hoping to see the man she missed. It was her one night lover, his eyes matching her own, red and puffy.

He looked at her with a kind smile but he wore it heavy on his face.

“Hey” her voice was soft.

He cleared his throat before he answered her.

“Hey.”

She put her hand on his arm and gave him a reassuring squeeze, a small gesture that meant a lot. It meant “I’m sorry” and “I know”, it meant “I’m here”.

She looked around, hoping to see the man she loved in the corner of the room, or getting out of the kitchen with coffee… But he wasn’t, and, like every time she felt bad, she knew only one thing would eventually make her better : his smile. So she turned to Sammy.

“Have you seen our Dean ?” she asked.

“He isn’t with you ?” Sam said.

Y/n shook her head.

“Maybe he is in his room.” Sam reasoned with her.

“I’ll go bring him some coffee.” Y/n took a second mug, filled it with coffee and made her way too his room. She just needed to see her Dean so bad.

Softly tapping her knuckles against his door she waited for an answer, but was met with only silence.

“Dean? I have coffee.” He wasn’t aswnersing.

“I’m coming in Dean, I hope you’re dressed.” Y/n slowly opened his door to find it empty, the bed still perfectly made. Where could he be? She walked to the garage to see if Baby was there. Finding her usual spot empty made her stomach churn in worry.

Pulling out her phone she looked for his contact and pressed his icon photo. Straight to voicemail, shit. She hurried back to the kitchen and looked at her Sam.

“Sam, he is not here, the Impala is gone. I called him but his phone goes straight to voicemail.”

Sam retrieved his phone from his pocket, calling his brother.

“Dean ?” Sammy frowned when dean’s voice echoed on the other side. “Where are you man ! What ? I can’t understand you. Seriously Dean, don’t you think you could have chosen a better day to drink the entire red corner ?”

That’s all Y/n needed to hear, Dean was at The Red Corner, she knew exactly where it was. She ran to the garage, taking one of the keys from one of the fastest cars in the garage.

She drove -way over the speed limit- straight to him. Why did he answer Sam’s call but not hers ? Something was wrong.

She spotted the impala in front of the bar. She parked next to the beloved car and looked inside the joint, it looked way too dark inside to be open. Getting out of her car she looked around, he couldn’t be far.

Walking to the other side of the impala she found him sitting on the ground, his back against the side of the car.

“Dean!” She went down on her knees to check him over, the stench of beer and whiskey knocking the breath out of her.

“Heya sweetheart.” His words were slurred.

“God Dean how much did you drink ?” She said as she looked him over.

“Not enough to get the noises out of my head.” He huffed.

She tried to get him up. Tugging at his arm. He was a dead weight she couldn’t lift, making no effort at all to help her. And while she thought his body was the one thing impossible to carry, he knew it was his heart.

“What are you talking about?” she sighed.

Dean suddenly looked up at her and opened his mouth to let out a small moan that on any other occasion would make Y/n clench her thighs, but he became louder and started making more obscene sex noises. Just like that, on the parking lot. Sitting on his butt, playing out loud what was torturing him.

“UHG fuck yes Dean ! Y/n you feel so good uughh…” he imitated her, and it felt like a slap to her. “Those noises, Sweetheart”

Y/n let go of him, frozen.

“Y-you h-heard ?” she bit her lips not hold back the tears.

Dean pulled himself up as best as he could to get at eye level with her.

“The whole bunker heard you, Sweetheart.” His words were really slurred, he has never been this drunk before.

He tried to put his hand on Baby’s door, to keep balance, but his palm missed the target and he fell heavily on his knees, his head hitting his beloved car’s side.

“S-shit…” he mumbled, not really feeling the metal hurt his head.

“God, Dean” Y/n held back her tears, she had never seen him like that.

She squatted to check his forehead but he clumsily pushed her, his eyes half closed. She sighed, swallowing her pain, focusing on her goal, bring him home, safe and sound. She noticed his palms were scratched and guessed he must have fell before… That was probably why she had found him on the floor.

“I can w-walk” he groaned, trying to get up again, and she had to use her whole body to prevent him from falling again.

Trying to ignore the shame she opened the passenger door of the impala for him.

“Get in D., you’re really drunk.”

“You call him that too ?”

Y/n bit her tongue to stay silent, he was drunk and disgusted that she invaded his privacy. His behaviour was justified and he deserved to be angry.

He turned and put his hand on the roof to make his way into his Baby, but he stopped and looked at her.

“You’re driving her ?” he grunted.

“Well, you are certainly not, unless you want me to leave her here ?”

With a groan he got in the car, she closed his door and stepped slowly to the other side, watching him through the windshield, Dean was always impressive, but right now, he was almost scary ; she knew he would never hurt her, of course… Maybe it was his despair, maybe he just seemed taller. Getting in behind the wheel, she took a deep breath.

As Y/n reached for the wheel Dean stopped her.

“Did you take a shower ?”

“What ?” Y/n frowned.

“Did you shower after you fucked Romeo? I don’t want him all over my car.”

Y/n bit her tongue and ignored his harsh words as she could, turned the ignition and drove out of the parking spot with her heart filled with guilt pounding violently in her ears.

“Jezus Dean you smell like a frat party, why did you drink so much?” Y/n said once she was on the road.

She could see him shrug in the corner of her eye.

“You could have hurt yourself badly.” she stated sadly.

“Who cares.” He huffed.

“I care, Dean.”

“You’re confusing me with the other dude.” He scoffed as he turned to stare out the window.

Y/n let out a big sigh, trying her very best to keep the tears at bay.

“I’m sorry, Dean.”

“For what ? Fucking a guy who looks exactly like me ?” He wasn’t even looking at her.

Once again Y/n didn’t know what to say, he had every right to be angry. She had used his body, right ? She had seen him, touched him and… It wasn’t even him. She rubbed her face, this was so confusing. She knew this was a very bad idea but… Dean’s reaction let her confused.

She could have taken the yelling and the frowns, the grunting, and she would even have accepted any kind of distancing. But why was he so hurt ?

Her brain could turn it in every possible ways in her head, she could never guess.

She couldn’t know that Dean was torturing himself that bad. That he was stabbing himself in the guts with sounds and images. She couldn’t even get close to understanding his pain, the burning of the thousand questions hitting the inside of his skull at light speed. Did she came more than once ? Did she used protection ? Did she blow him ? Bite him ? Tied him ? Did he look in her sweet eyes when he came ? …

She couldn’t know, because she had no idea of the feeling torturing him right now : Jealousy.

Dean turned to her and could see the hickey on her neck. Did he have to do that? Claim her like that, she is not his.

“Are you guys like a thing now ?” He asked, his eyes not leaving her neck.

“We are not.” She snapped back.

“He marked you up pretty good for not being a thing.”

Her hand covered her neck instantly and her heart became even heavier with shame.

“We’re not.”

“Do you wanna be ?” He asked, his drunk brain turning jealousy into self-hate. This other version of him was better in every ways, rich, polite, even happier… And Dean always thought almost anybody would be better for Y/n, but now, he knew that if she wanted him, even then, he wouldn’t be the best him for her… He got nauseous.

His question took her completely by surprise. Did she ? Of course not, he wasn’t her Dean.

“No.”

Dean looked at her, opening his mouth to say something but closing it again.

“What Dean.” She knew something was on his mind. He was turned away from her, slumped in the car seat, his hand fumbling with the built in ashtray in the car door.

“Why did you have sex with him ?” he grunted.

She averted her eyes from the road to look at him, his eyes held such… disgust ?

“Dean I-” Dean cut her off before she could answer his question.

“You did use protection right ?” he snapped.

Her hands tightened hard on the steering wheel, almost feeling sorry for hurting Baby like that. He was hurt but did he have to lecture her like that ? And talking about it was becoming humiliating…

“That’s really none of your business.”

Silence fell over the two hunters, her mind was going every possible way. He probably thinks I’m disgusting, he can barely look at me.

Dean couldn’t get rid of the images in his head, and a thousand questions were still burning his heart : Did he go down on her ? Was he wearing a condom ? Did she wrap her legs around him, like he always dreamed she would with him ?…

And the detailed images were like gasoline on the fire of his rage, the closer to the bunker they got, the bigger the blaze became.

Once she entered the bunker Y/n parked the car in her usual spot in the garage. She turned off the ignition, got out and went to Dean’s side to help him out.

“Leave me, I’ve got it.” he stated.

Y/n took a step back as she looked at him stumble. He didn’t want her to touch him.

“I’ll go get Sam.”

“No ! I’ve got it !” Dean made laboriously his way up the stairs to the hall with Y/n close behind him.

When they reached the top of the stairs, Y/n caught Dean who was leaning a bit too much to the side for her comfort.

“Are you guys okay ?” Other Dean appeared in the hall.

It all happened so fast, Dean had his other world version pinned against the wall, punching him square in the face.

“DEAN!” Y/n yelled as she ran after him, he was fast for being barely able to walk mere seconds ago.

Other Dean was bleeding from the bridge of his nose and eyebrow, he punched her Dean back in an attempt to get the upper hand. But this fight was without a winner.

“WHY HER ! Couldn’t you have put you dick somewhere else !” Dean yelled as he kept his other version against the wall.

He pulled his arm back to finish the fight but Y/n was right behind them, ready to pull them apart. She noticed it too late when Dean’s elbow hit her straight on the nose. She fell back against the wall violently, hitting her head, her vision when black for a second as a sharp pain shook her.

“Y/n!” Both Deans said in unison. Her hands were on her nose which was bleeding heavily.

Dean let go of his fancy version to crowd down to Y/N, falling on his knees faster than he should have, his eyes still barely focused.

“Y/n I- I’m sorry. Let me see” His clumsy hands went up to take her hands off her face, his whiskey smell heavy around her, but Y/n flinches away from him.

Other Dean appeared slowly on her side, with a kind smile and a reassuring expression.

“Can I just look ? I won’t touch it” he said, searching for her face.

She turned her head towards him slightly, letting her hands down to show him the damage.

Dean stood up and backed away, he scared her, hurt her. As much as it pains him to see him with her, he was the better choice. He was better for her… Dean walked away from the scene, Y/n wasn’t his… He already knew it, he just lost her for real.

“Look up for me, Love.” Her one night lover said.

“It’s nothing.” Y/n stood up, wiping her nose with her sleeve to find it red.

“I’ll just put a tampon or something in it, I’ve had worse.” She gave him half a smile.

“You sure ?” His soft green eyes dove into hers.

“Yes Dean, you have some patching up to do yourself.” Y/n pointed towards his nose bridge and split eyebrow.

Dean tugged at his now red stained white shirt

“Yeah you’re right.” He gave her a soft nod and walked to his room.

Y/n went to her room, locking herself inside as she let her tears stream freely, she made her way to the sink to clean her face and put some tissues up her nose. This was all her fault, Dean was disgusted that she invaded his privacy and went completely crazy on the other Dean. It wasn’t even his fault. She asked him to kiss her…

While Y/n took care of her nose in her room, Dean was in the shower, hoping it would help to stop the room from spinning. Rinsing his open knuckles under the water spray, he looked at the blood dripping from the cuts, it stung.

Good You deserve that, you fucking hurt her. He had lost her trust, he thought hearing the love of his life having sex with a guy who was practically the better version of himself hurt the most, he was wrong. The way she flinched away from him, that was way worse than anything else. She was scared of him.

Getting out of the shower he dried himself off and went in his room, hoping he could beat this hangover with a couple hours of sleep.

When the other Dean came to Sam to ask for another shirt he was on instant alert by the blood. After a few explanations from that weird version of his brother, Sam decided he had to check on Y/n.

He knocked softly on the door of her room.

“Y/n ?”

Y/n was curled up on her bed.

“Leave me alone.”

Sam tried her door but it was locked. Hoping he would accept it and not try to pick her lock, she waited for him to leave. She really did not want to see him right now. She took advantage of the look alike of her best friend, she invaded his privacy and in the process she hurt everybody. She knew her Dean probably hated her, she couldn’t stand the feeling of Dean hating her, he was everything to her.

Hugging her pillow she cried herself to sleep that night.

- Next day -

When Dean woke up covered in sweat, he could feel his head pounding. For a quick second, he sighed in relief, nightmares… Just nightmares. But the last evening came back in one single big piece, like an anvil falling on his chest, and nausea made him lay on his side, big breaths leaving him.

After some time, minutes or more, he sat up with a grunt.

“Fuck.” Putting on some clothes he went to the kitchen for some much needed coffee and some painkillers. When he walked in, he saw his brother was already there.

Sam lift his head, his hazel eyes were a dark grey today, and his look heavy.

“Don’t give me that look” Dean said as he took a mug and some meds for his head.

“Why did you have to hit him Dean ?” Sam asked his brother.

Dean turned, a deep sigh leaving his mouth as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I don’t know man, I was drunk a-and-”

“Jealous.” Sam said.

Dean just shook his head, sitting down at the table, ignoring the screams in his head. He was determined to eat something, knowing he would need energy to face that day.

“I screwed it up Sammy. I hurt her and now she is scared of me, I-I lost her.”

Dean was really not hungry, his guilt was eating him alive.

“You didn’t lose her Dean, she knows you didn’t mean to actually hit her” Sam assured his brother.

“You didn’t see her, she flinched away from me because I hurt her, Sam.” Dean shoved his plate aside, not hungry for his bacon and eggs.

“Have you maybe thought about how this other Dean feels about it ?” Sam asked his brother cautiously.

“What do you mean ?”

“This Dean, he had his own Y/n back in his world they were engaged, he lost her.” Sam said with a heavy heart, remembering the words of his fancy double.

Dean frowned, is this why he was so interested in her ? Did he just want to be with her again ? He lost his Y/n in the other world so now he will steal this Y/n ? Does Y/n even know that she is a hard copy of his dead girlfriend ? What if she wasn’t ? What if she was ? He couldn’t even begin to imagine what it must have felt like to lose her…

Someone cleared his throat and both boys looked at the origin of the sound. Alternate universe Dean stood in the doorframe of the kitchen, wearing a black eye and a tired smile.

“Can I come in or are you gonna hit me again?” he said.

“I lost it, sorry” Dean grunted through his teeth, the images of them two still torturing his heart.

His other version made his way to sit at the kitchen table in a sigh, next to Sam.

“It’s okay” Dean lied. “I didn’t know she meant so much for you, I have no right to come in between that.”

Dean stared long at his fancier self, he had to know more…

“I heard about your Y/n… I’m sorry for what happened to her.” Dean gave him a sad smile.

“Seems like news travel fast here… “ His eyes became wet at just the thought of his lost love.

An awkward silence fell among them.

Dean could see his other version was plagued by memories of his past, he recognized the feeling. His stomach was still wringed by jealousy, by guilt, nausea still making him sweat, and it was not just the hangover. This man touched the woman he loved, had the woman he loved, he had been inside of her… But now he also knew that he had lost her, he had to see Y/n die, to bury her.

The other him rose from his chair, interrupting the trail of his thoughts. And as he was leaving in silence, he briefly stopped with his back turned to the original brothers.

“Dean ?” He said, still not turning around.

“Yeah ?” Dean answered a little unsure.

“Talk to her, believe me, you do not want to lose her.” His voice cracked, tears not far behind.

Dean opened his mouth to say something but he didn’t even get the chance. His doppelganger had turned and had a tight grip on Dean’s shoulder, looking him dead in the eyes.

“Once you have her, never let her go, n-never” tears were threatening to fall from his eyes, but, his jaw trembling, he held them back.

He always promised her to be brave, even after she died.

“I think I already lost her… better anyway, I’m not good enough for her” Dean said as he avoided the eye contact.

The other Dean put both his hands on Dean’s shoulders now and shook him lightly.

“I thought exactly the same with my Y/n, do not let our own self wallowing bullshit ruin from being with her ! DON’T push her away, you need her and you know it ! So grow some fucking balls and talk to her !” With that he let Dean go.

Dean pushed the hands holding his shoulders off in a sharp move, getting up. The man looking like him had a point, Y/n deserved better, the least he could do was apologize to her.

“Yeah, you’re right, I’ll go find her.” Dean stood up and made his way to her room.

Images of her bloody nose flashed across his eyes, his footsteps to her room feeling heavier than ever before. He was playing the words he just heard in his head : Having her ? He never really thought he could really be with her, even if he wanted it more than anything. But now, knowing some other version of him had been engaged to her… not just with her : engaged.

He was confused, guilt still pounding in his head, jealousy still digging big cuts in his guts and this stupid hangover…

What was he going to tell her anyway ? Start with sorry, he thought.

Just… start with sorry.

Dean knocked softly on her door.

“Y/n ? Can we talk ?” His question went unanswered. “…Y/n ? Please, I know you’re probably angry with me but I just wanna talk.”

He was only met with silence and it worried him. Slowly, he pushed open her door to find her room empty.

With a frown, he closed the door and went to the garage to see if a car was missing. They were all still here so she hasn’t left the bunker.

Dean started checking every room in the bunker : Sam’s room, library, war room, kitchen, bath room…

Panic had made him forget but, of course, he knew where she was the moment he saw the door of his beloved Dean Cave. She loved it as much as he did, and called it her ‘little paradise of peace’.

He moved closer and stood in the door frame as he could see her, sitting on the couch, feet nicely tucked under her body, sipping from a cup of coffee.

He tapped his knuckles softly on the frame of the door.

“Can I come in ?”

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#collab #same #jay and dean #Same 2/4 #Different Hearts #AU! Dean #dean xreader #AU!Dean x reader #huntercorps Dean #roonyxx #dean winchester #supernatural #spn fanfic #dean x reader #smut #angst

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riding-the-sunset-bird · 3 months

Text

A character reference based on all four Steps of Our Life! It's only "sort of" a height reference as well since obviously they're not 100% accurate (the devs don't have specific heights for everyone to my knowledge).

I did dig into the code to try and get characters at their "normal" heights but there are other matters at play too (example: Nicolas is obviously "taller" than he should be because he needs to be pushed upwards to be visible enough above the game's text box; likewise with other very short characters).

Still, this should serve as either a nice reference guide for every character or a "height reference" in the sense of getting an idea of which characters are shorter/taller than others.

I'm also going to detail some extra notes below the break, including posts from GB Patch's Tumblr that reference any defined heights (with Cove being the obvious one) or general height things, as well as some more stuff about the MC's height in comparison to the three love interests depending on what you pick.

Cove's height is listed on GB Patch's FAQ as 4' 1" in Step 1 (also stated as "mostly average, perhaps a bit on the short side"), 5' 4" in Step 2 (in-game this is defined as "very tall" on the MC's potential height spectrum, as that is the only option considered on par with Cove's height), 6' 0" in Step 3, and 6' 4" in Step 4. A fun fact is that Cove's final height was originally 6' 3" (191cm) instead.

Derek in Step 2 is under five feet tall (this post also lists Cove as "around 5 and a half feet tall" which you could take as either close enough to 5' 4" as stated above or a potential original height he had that got changed). In-game, he's "short" but not "very short", as having your MC be "very short" will prompt narration telling you that you're shorter than Derek, whereas "short" only has you relate to him in smolness generally.

Step 4 Derek is "mostly average." He wouldn't be considered tall nor would he be considered short. His youngest brother Nicolas will "probably end up as a similar height to him" once he's more grown up.

Step 4 Baxter is "taller than average, but not especially tall."

I've been informed that, on the Our Life Patreon Discord, Step 4 Derek's height is listed as 5' 9" (175cm) whereas Step 4 Baxter's is listed as 5' 11" (180cm), so those are their defined heights. Before that, both of their heights had jumped around somewhat. A post from 2019 said that Derek was 5' 11", but a post from June 2021 said that Baxter was 5' 11" and Derek was 5' 9" (so consistent with the Discord). Then there's also another post from July 2021 (you'll have to scroll down for this one) that listed Baxter at around 5' 10" while Derek was 5' 8"/5' 9". If you're insane enough to try and use the character reference too, then Baxter would actually be around 6'1" at minimum since he's taller than Step 3 Cove (though you could also make the same argument that this means the mom trio of Pamela, Noelani, and Kyra must be decently tall as well since they're so close to Cove on the character reference).

I don't have any experience with GB Patch's other game, XOXO Droplets, so I don't know what ages the characters are in it, but since both Shiloh and Jeremy are characters seen visibly in Our Life, I thought I'd also mention that they're listed as 5' 10" and 5' 5" (or 5' 5 1/2") respectively in XOXO Droplets. Jeremy also apparently grows to 5' 8" in his 20s and he's 22 in the Our Life Cove Wedding DLC (I don't think this is spoken of in the game specifically but he's labeled as 22 in the code).

As for the MC and how their height plays into things, "tall" and "very tall" as well as "short" and "very short" tend to be considered the same for the most part in the game's code. It's not that there isn't a difference at all (I would say it's still notable), it's just that sometimes the game may be more vague about height differences. My post about Errands references this where you don't need more athletic points due to being "very short" instead of "short" to give Cove a piggyback ride.

A guesstimate I'd make is that about 5% of the time, the game will take note of whether you're "very tall" instead of "tall" or "very short" instead of "short." Otherwise, you're either "generally tall," "average," or "generally short." There are also other instances (usually with Cove) where the game might just check if you're either generally tall (around Cove's height) or not generally tall (i.e: definitely shorter than him).

This is actually relevant to the heights because, following all above information, one would assume that Step 4 Derek is average, Step 4 Baxter is tall, and Step 4 Cove is very tall going off the MC's potential "height spectrum" of very short, short, average, tall, and very tall, but it's not entirely the case.

A "tall" MC (generally tall) will look "down" at Step 4 Baxter just as he will look "up" at them or they'll look directly at each other if the MC is "average," same as Step 3 Baxter, but--

when the game has any instance of differentiating between "tall" and "very tall" (they never do this for Step 3 Baxter so the base assumption would have to be that he's just average height), things change.

During Baxter's apology in the wedding of his Step 4, Baxter dips his chin to look at the MC if they're "short"/"very short," levels his chin to look at the MC if they're "average"/"tall," and then lifts his chin to look at the MC if they're "very tall." A generally tall MC still has to lean down to kiss him if they choose to do so though.

Also, during the intimacy scene with Baxter (either in his office or his living room), if the MC is "very short," "short," or "average," it states that Baxter is taller than them. If they're "very tall," then Baxter is shorter than them, but a "tall" MC is "almost the exact same height" as him.

This is all a really long-winded way of saying that GB Patch referring to Step 4 Baxter being "taller than average but not especially tall" might mean that he's some infuriating middle ground between average and tall where he's not quite one but not quite the other either (which honestly is very Baxter of him so I can't even be mad).

#type: helpful #type: cracking the cove #our life #olba #our life: beginnings & always #((If you line up the images yourself then make sure the height of the original images are all the same))#((I don't know if Tumblr squished any.))#((Let me know if I'm missing anyone!))#((I know there's Step 3 Jeremy and someone named Cala in Derek's Step 4 (haven't gotten there yet)))#((but you only see those two on the phone so there is no ''default'' position/size for them.))#((Also I was worried that Tumblr would eat the quality if I uploaded such long images))#((so I separated Steps 2 and 3 and 4 into multiple images.))#((Hopefully that's fine; if you line them up side-by-side it still works out.))#((Me feeling so exposed because now how I design my Coves is here for everyone to see.))#((Feel free to judge my bias towards the color blue.))

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