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etherrreal · 1 year

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“creep(er) into my heart”

Pairing: kenma x gn!reader Genre: fluff, friends to lovers Summary: two gamers walk into a fancy restaurant and it goes as well as you’d think. WC: 4,220 Warnings: N/A A/N: This is part 2 of “would you be mine(craft)?” with an even cornier title. You can probably read this without reading the first, but maybe read it for context? (also, i joke that applebee’s sucks but their “bourbon street chicken and shrimp” lives rent free in my head everyday) -Luna

Dates are meant to be anxiety-inducing, whether it’s a stomach full of butterflies or ruthless tornadoes.

So, it’s an odd feeling to be so calm and collected during the days leading up to a big date, especially one with Kenma. You assume it’s because the stakes are so low, knowing that if the spark isn’t there, you’ll still see him on Minecraft, probably that same night, to help with his iron golem farming idea like nothing ever happened.

What’s even weirder is that both of you have continued to not discuss the date at all since he asked you the weekend before. You don’t know if it’s because it’ll be awkward to break the ice of the discussion or if he’s procrastinating figuring out the plans for that night, but you both continue to play games and watch anime together during the week without even grazing the topic.

If it wasn't for the Google Calendar invite reminding you 48 hours before Saturday that your date was in fact coming up, you would still believe that him asking you out was something you happened to imagine during your post-date funk.

Thankfully, come Thursday evening, not long after you get the notification, he sends you a text letting you know that he’ll be taking you to a restaurant in the city. It’s one you’ve passed several times before, which is how you know, without having to check their Instagram tags, that it’s a semi-formal, if not fully formal, dress code and dining experience. It’s an abnormal choice for Kenma to willingly select a place where he’d have to wear anything that buttons, let alone a full suit, so you have to imagine that the place must have glowing reviews for him to settle on it.

Now all you have to do is find a whole entire formal outfit with only two days’ notice and minimal time after work to shop. No biggie.

But you manage to do it in time—although barely since you had to rally together the group chat to help—and by the time Saturday comes, you’re actually feeling a bit of nerves start to pool in your stomach as you’re getting ready for the night. Although it all dissipates when you get a series of texts from Kenma, minutes apart, realizing that he may be experiencing the same kind of jitters that you’re feeling.

‘I dont know how to tie a fucking tie, time to cancel the date’ ‘This is harder than finishing Dark Souls’ ‘I got it, but Kuroo made fun of me and is a terrible teacher and now my feelings are hurt’

You zoom through getting ready, and with about 30-ish minutes until your 7PM reservation, the 25-minute Uber ride leaves you with just enough time to be early. And you’re given quite the shock when you step out of the car and you already see Kenma in front of the restaurant, head hung low as he scrolls through his phone. As you get closer, you notice he cleans up nicely in his smart black suit with his hair pulled back into a bun except for a few face-framing pieces. You make sure to call his name to get his attention, his head snapping up when he hears your voice.

“Wooow, look at you, Mr. Snazzy,” you comment, reaching up to straighten his tie. “I’ve never seen you so gussied up before. Must be quite the date for you to dust off your one and only suit.”

“I have a second suit,” he says defensively. “It’s gray because Kuroo says that’s a better color to wear for the daytime.”

“When did Kuroo become your fashion stylist?”

“When my publicist politely said that I looked like a scrub in all my other clothes during meetings.”

“...She never said anything about your hair, though?”

Kenma glares at you, definitely offended by the implication that his excessively grown out roots are unprofessional, to which you offer a small smile, hoping that he knows you meant it with love.

“Let’s just go inside before I get insulted again tonight.”

He pulls the door open for you—like the gentleman that he pretends to be—and steps up to greet the host before you can say anything.

“Hello, I have a reservation for 7PM. Kozume.”

Normally, you’d joke about him finally being able to speak to a server by himself, seeing as he still has to hype himself up sometimes before asking for extra ketchup when you’re eating out. You remember there being a time when he ordered marinara sauce with his cheesy bread from Domino’s and when it wasn’t included, he was fully prepared to leave and eat his bread dry to avoid talking to anyone. You ended up having to take the receipt up to the cashier and fixing the mistake so you didn’t have to see him somberly eating his sauceless bread.

The jokes slip your mind, however, as you take in the decor of the place. A few chandeliers hang from the high ceiling, sparkling under the low light from the sconces on the wall. Each table is decorated with a crisp white tablecloth and set with dark green trimmed plates, long-stem wine glasses, and folded cloth napkins around a simple floral centerpiece.

You’re observing the attire of the guests, feeling a bit underdressed, but also overdressed considering how effortless and chic most of the outfits are. The meals they’re eating look especially small, probably only a few bites on the giant plates. It’s a place definitely out of your comfort zone, one that you’d think would be nice to attend, but probably never would because it’s so bougie and you’d feel out of place.

Kenma’s hand on your lower back startles you out of your thoughts, and suddenly, you’re being guided toward the middle of the restaurant, a server in front of you to lead the way.

The server pulls out your chairs, providing menus and telling you that he’ll be back when you’re ready to order. Polite smiles and thanks are given as you settle in, draping your coats over the backs of your chairs and picking up the menus.

If you thought you felt out of place when you walked in, you’re definitely feeling it now. You scan the menu, trying not to look too stressed when you see the prices and can’t recognize or even read the foreign names of certain dishes, but from what you can read, nothing is sparking joy. You’re trying to get a read on Kenma, glancing up to see if he’s also having trouble picking something from the menu or if he’s confident about what to order, but his stoic face gives nothing away.

In an attempt to put out some feelers, you clear your throat before saying, “I’m not really sure what to pick. How about you? See anything you like?”

“I’m still looking, but nothing so far,” he responds, trailing off at the end as he watches a server bring some morsels of food plated on a bowl of rocks to the table next to you. It’s only then that can catch his eye and in them, you’re seeing the same feeling of bewilderment and unease from being in this setting. But it’s gone in a second, back to his normal flat expression.

But you definitely saw it, so now that you know the feeling’s mutual, you feel less bad about feeling it yourself. You let a few moments pass, with the menu held in front of your face, high enough that only your eyes peek out from over the top before you let out a suggestion.

“....You know we passed by a Domino’s on the way here, and now all I can think about are their wings.”

Kenma nearly slams the menu onto the table, eyes wide and ravenous for some food. “I want some of their cheesy bread so bad.”

“Wanna make a run for it?” You’re trying to be low-key when looking around for anyone that could be watching, gently setting the menu down and grabbing the collar of your coat, looking back to Kenma for confirmation. He’s already shoved one arm into the sleeve of his blazer and is scooting back his chair to stand, making sure to give you a nod so you know that it’s go time.

You’re not as graceful as Kenma is in your escape, nearly spilling someone’s drink while putting on your coat on the way out. You pick up your pace, ignoring Kenma’s glance and snickers. He reaches the door first, holding it open for you while you finally get your coat on. There’s a beat while you stand there before you both burst into giggles, nearly keeling over with laughter and tears in your eyes.

Finally, standing up straight after a few minutes, you gesture behind you. “Ready to go get a gourmet meal?”

With an excited nod from Kenma, you walk side by side down the streets. You use the time to clown him for not knowing how to tie a tie, even suggesting that you’ll gift him a clip-on for future uses so he doesn’t hurt his little gamer hands trying to tie a knot.

To which he responds with, “And I’ll light your Minecraft house on fire using my little gamer hands if you don’t shut up.”

Suddenly, you’re silent.

The Domino’s is a bit farther than it seemed while in the car, but eventually, you see the glowing blue and red symbol high up on the square building, rushing ahead to rip open the door so you can quickly usher Kenma inside and order as soon as possible.

Too much money later, you’re skipping out of Domino’s, wings and cheesy bread secured along with other impromptu boxes of goodies to take home. You’re both waiting at the corner while you pull open the Google Maps app to figure out the best place to catch a cab when you notice a spot nearby that piques your interest.

“Did you know there’s an arcade around the corner?!” you nearly scream, shoving your phone in his face to show him Google Maps.

“No, I didn’t know that,” he says, moving your phone at least a few inches away from his face. “Want to go there?”

“Won’t our food get cold though?”

“That’s what microwaves are for. Duh,” he jokes, grabbing your hand to guide you down the block to the illuminated storefront. You run in like children, making a beeline to the token machine. You begin reaching for your wallet when Kenma lets go of your hand, shoving your wallet away and aggressively pulling out money from his own.

You stare down at your palm in the meantime, feeling little tingles spread throughout it, flexing your fingers and no doubt looking like a weirdo.

Kenma has done his fair share of dragging you away from places, usually when you're glued to the glass window of a store that has anime knick-knacks you want but have absolutely no damn space for, but usually he just grabs your elbow or wrist. You could be overthinking it, but he must've grabbed your hand on purpose. Or you're just that desperate for physical affection.

He shoves a handful of tokens into your open palm, putting his own into his pockets. The arcade suddenly feels so overwhelming, with lights and noises all around you. Should you try the crane games first? Or maybe some skee-ball? You could probably dominate him in that…

“Want to start with some air hockey?” Kenma suggests, pointing over to a free table in the corner.

Yes. Air hockey. An easy win start. “Oh hell yeah, let’s do that.”

You shouldn’t have been so confident. It’s not turning out in your favor, not in the slightest, and you should’ve guessed that, going up against a guy who was the brain of his volleyball team. In your defense, you did win the first game, rubbing it in Kenma’s face and doing a dance like a sore winner. Then he absolutely demolished you for the next three rounds and had the gall to be humble about it like he didn’t just embarrass you in front of the many elementary school kids around you.

You would’ve kept going, being stubborn as hell and telling Kenma, “Best 5 out of 6?” until you got into double digits. But suddenly he has to “go use the bathroom,” which sounds like an excuse to you.

“I’ll be right back. Don’t go too far,” he warns you.

And, to be fair, you don’t go too far. You only walk about twenty feet away to the anime crane game that’s hiding behind a row of other crane games that would be blocking Kenma’s view to you if he comes back the same way he left. He has a phone that he could use to text you if he really can’t find you.

It’ll be fiiiine, you think as you slide in a token and get ready to win the anime figure.

The time passes quickly, not that you notice it. All you know is that you’ve gone through maybe half of your tokens while trying to get the figure to fall between the two bars, only asking the staff to help you reposition once because you managed to mess it up that bad.

It’s funny to think that you were more worried about sticking out like a sore thumb at the fancy restaurant than you are now at the arcade, surrounded by people of all ages in sneakers and jeans while you stand there at the claw machine in dress clothes with your nose nearly against the glass. Maybe they’ll think you’re an important business person coming by to decompress after a very long, busy day at work.

Then you squawk when you finally score the prize after only several more dollars worth of coins, and the facade promptly sails out the window.

It’s only after you have the box in your arms that you decide to check the time, realizing you’ve spent at least ten minutes straight playing. What’s weirder is that Kenma still hasn’t returned yet, and you have no messages or missed calls from him asking where you’re at, which means he's either still in the bathroom–and if that’s the case, you’re deeply worried for his bowels–or he got distracted on his way back from it.

You’re almost at the bathrooms when you see Kenma walking towards you from the corner of your eye, definitely not coming from the bathroom as you’d expect.

“Where were you? I thought you said you had to go to the bathroom.” You notice he’s holding an overstuffed plastic bag. “What did you get? When the hell did you even have time? Or are you just that lucky?”

“Oh. This is, uh..” Suddenly, he’s sheepish, opening the plastic bag where you can see something fuzzy and pink in it. “I didn’t actually need to go to the bathroom. I saw a Kirby plush in a crane machine when we walked in and knew I had to get it for you.”

Before you could even say anything, he’s pulling out the plush and you notice it’s not just a regular Kirby, but one with a chef hat and pan. You make grabby hands at it until he hands it over, trying to hold it just with one hand and squishing it against your chest and face.

“I love him so much! Thank you, Kenma.”

Like a lot of things tonight, it’s different from your normal friendly interactions. Instead of your usual hugs where you go in at a diagonal or the lazier times when it’s just a side hug, your arms are now wrapped around his neck with his around your waist. It feels weird. A good weird. Like you’re feeling the subtle change from friendship to something a little more. It’s hard not to get your hopes up because although you’ve told yourself that you’ll be good with being ‘just friends,’ throughout the night, you find yourself quite hopeful for the chance to explore something romantic with Kenma.

You part slowly, him shoving Kirby back into the bag and insisting on holding it for you after you reach for it, which you suppose you could allow since he’s been such a gentleman tonight.

“Great minds think alike because I got you a gift, too,” you announce, handing over the box you worked so hard for. “I don’t remember her name, but I know you have a few that look like her in your room, so what’s one more to add to your waifu collection.”

“Thanks for the gift, and also, for saying that so loud. I’m sure the whole arcade liked hearing about how much of a weeb I am.” He gives you a smile, somehow managing to stuff the box into the already full bag. “Want to spend the rest of our tokens then head to mine? I only have a few more.”

You pull your sad six out of your pocket. “Yeah, me too. That crane game wasn’t kind to me.”

You have a blast with the remaining tokens, staying away from crane games and sticking more to the classics. You learn that Kenma’s strategic thinking in volleyball does not translate over to basketball when you watch him miss every single basket of the game except for his last one in which he threw the ball against the back wall in frustration and landed right in the net.

Even when ordering the Uber minutes later, he still has a frown etched on his face from losing, and as much as you want to rub it in his face that now he’s feeling like you were after air hockey, you leave him to sit in his feelings.

It’s a silent ride, at least on the outside. Internally, you’re an anxious, overthinking mess with your inner thoughts going a mile a minute. You spend the whole ride back to his place wondering if it’d be too forward of you to hold his hand that’s sitting on the seat between you two. It’s not like he didn’t hold your hand earlier tonight, even if it was only to drag you toward the arcade. Once you finally convince yourself that it’d be okay to try, the ride is over and his hand slips away to open the car door and you sigh as you lose your chance to be brave.

When you’re home, Kenma’s tie and shirt undone and your dress shoes thrown haphazardly by the door, you finally get to discuss your thoughts on the restaurant. About how stuffy it felt in your formal clothes and how ridiculous the plating looked for the meals because you didn’t know what they’d even be able to taste with a portion size that small. Kenma even thanks you for breaking the ice by bringing up Domino’s because if you never did it “you’d still be in that restaurant having your 12th course of the meal.”

You swallow your bite and take a quick sip of your drink. “Why did you even choose that restaurant in the first place? Doesn’t feel like a place you’d be at.”

Kenma shrugs, brushing off the crumbs from his hands. “I don’t know… I guess I didn’t want our first date to be just like any other night we’d had. I wanted it to stand out from the rest so you can know that I’m serious about you.”

Your heart just about bursts hearing his gentle voice say that. “That’s… So sweet. I don’t know what to say to that besides thank you. Never knew you could be so charming.”

“Don’t expect it too often,” he jokes, to which you respond with an elbow to his ribs. “I know today didn’t go as expected, so maybe we can try again with a different restaurant.”

“Maybe—and this is me just spitballing here—we should work our way up to the formal dress restaurants by starting with something simple like… Applebee’s.”

“I feel like Applebee’s is somehow a worse starting point than a place like McDonald’s.”

“Fiiiine. Since you have so much to say, then you pick where we’re eating for our next date. Just make sure I can get away with wearing sneakers and jeans, is all I’m saying.”

“Who said we were actually going on a second date? I don’t know if I want to date someone who eats wings like a toddler.” He reaches over with a napkin to wipe the corners of your mouth which you begrudgingly allow.

“Well, I don’t know if I want to date someone who waits until 48 fucking hours before the date to tell me that I have to put together a whole formal outfit for a restaurant.” Kenma looks away abruptly, but not before you see his shameless smirk. “Why the hell did you even take so long?”

“I had to use some connections to get a reservation there within the week, and they didn’t get back to me until Thursday, so you knew when I knew!”

“Hm… okay. I’ll let that one slide then. For now.”

“So, I can get a second date?”

“If you insist.”

Kenma puts what’s left of your food in his fridge with the promise of leftovers tomorrow. You help him tidy up a bit, taking your sweet time because it’s finally dawned on you that the date will be ending soon. You’re hit with a wave of disappointment, realizing just how much you enjoyed his company all day. And maybe it’s silly, but you don’t want it to end just yet.

When you’ve thrown away the last napkin, you slide in next to him in the kitchen, bumping shoulders with him before hooking your arm with his. “Wanna finish watching that anime you showed me? The one with the long title?”

He lets out an amused chuckle. “Glad you enjoyed it so much that you remember the name, but sure.”

He lets you guide him to the couch by his arm, plopping yourselves down on it while he grabs his remote to pick the show from his ‘continue watching’ section.

Halfway through the episode, you scooch even closer to Kenma so you can lean on him, your head gently resting on his shoulder to test the waters. He lifts his arm up to grasp you tighter, fingers trailing up and down your upper arm without looking away from the screen. You peer up at him to see a little smile on his face—hoping it’s because of your current position and not because of the atrocities happening on the screen. You’re rarely this close to Kenma. The closest you get to him on the daily is him leaning over you to fix some computer issues or you peering over his shoulder to watch him play on his Switch.

You’ve never paid attention to his warm amber scent mixed with something floral, probably from his conditioner he told you he overpaid for because he thought it was on sale. How plush his hoodie is and how you’re definitely going to be “borrowing” it as a partner tax in the future. Or how the ends of his hair that’s tickling your face are really soft, no doubt because of that expensive conditioner, and you fight the urge to play with a few pieces. You could get used to being with him if this is what you’d be getting every day.

You manage to last another episode and a half before his soft touch lulls you to sleep, a smile mirroring his on your face.

You have a funny dream that night; you and Kenma are at an Applebee’s, both dressed in your grubbiest hoodies and sweats, while the subpar food sits untouched in front of you. He’s holding one of your hands on the table, stroking his thumb back and forth on the back of yours, the other hand keeping his head propped. You’re telling a story, laughing and waving your free hand around as you delve deep into it. To everybody else, you’re sure Kenma looks bored out of his mind, probably waiting for you to stop talking or at least get to the good part. But you know him better than that.

You can see the affection in his eyes as he doesn’t break eye contact with you, humming in acknowledgment wherever necessary so you know he’s actually listening. He’s squeezing your hand every now and again just because he can. His phone is face down on the far end of the table, most likely on ‘Do Not Disturb’ because you don’t hear a single vibration against the table.

You’ve got his complete and undivided attention until he decides to get off his seat to lean over the table. You quiet down immediately, unsure of what the hell he’s going to do until he tilts his head and gently kisses you on your lips, lasting only a second before promptly sitting down and telling you to continue your story as if nothing happened.

Non-dream Kenma would never do something so bold in public. At least, you don’t think so.

But, goddammit, even if it means writing a script and playing director, you’re going to try your fucking hardest to make sure it happens exactly like your dream during your second date.

Written by: Luna

we’ve got a taglist if you’re interested 👀

#kenma x reader #kozume kenma x reader #kenma kozume x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #kenma kozume #kenma imagines #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyu x reader #haikyuu #hq kenma #hq x reader #hq imagines #haikyuu!!#our writing #luna writes

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hunnyandmilk · 2 years

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∈𝙄𝙣𝙨𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙧𝙚 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙇𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙡𝙮∋

DSMP members with an S/O struggling w/ imposter syndrome HCs. (GN reader)

Warnings: imposter syndrome, cursing, fluff {that’s not rlly a warning but I’ll put it in there anyways..}, usage of real name {On Quackity's part})

for those who don’t know what imposter syndrome is: “Imposter syndrome is loosely defined as doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud. It disproportionately affects high-achieving people, who find it difficult to accept their accomplishments. Many question whether they're deserving of accolades.”

One of the most common forms of imposter syndrome is not feeling deserving of good things which is what these HCs will be heavily mentioning.

Includes: Wilbur Soot, Sapnap, Nihachu, Jack Manifold, Quackity, Karl Jacobs, an OC, Georgenotfound

This was more for self-comfort because I suffer with this kinda thing, but I decided to put it up for other people who maybe suffering with this kinda thing too or for people who just need some comfort <3

Song chosen: Sex, Drugs, etc.

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Karl Jacobs <3

-Honestly total sweetheart as is, but when he’s found out you have imposter syndrome and that you struggle deeply with it -Holy shit this boy is so loving and caring it’s almost too much. -“You don’t deserve it? What do you mean? You worked so hard for it though, you totally deserve it! If you didn’t deserve it…” -He will go out of his way to treat you well for the rest of the day -Such a sweet boy <3

Jack Manifold <3

-When he offered to go out and grab some food, and you said “no, I don’t think I really deserve that kind of treatment, but thank you for offering” -his brain stopped and he went -”wait what?” -He got fuckin PISSED at himself. -no lie he started cussing himself out like, -“Jack, you didn’t treat them right and now they don’t think they deserve anything you dumbass. You expect them to love you when you can’t even let them know they deserve the world? Goddammit!” -then he’ll turn to you and go -“Babe, you deserve so much more than I can give, so let me do at least this for you.”

Sapnap <3

-Mans on god goes; “Yoooo, faking mental illnesses? Nooot cool bro.” -and you just look at him like “I’m serious dumbass. 😐” -and he’s like “oh… you’re not joking-“ -immediately he’s all over you hugging you and pecking your face, “do you wanna go out and get McDonald’s?” -”no I don’t deserve it..” -”alright let’s go, hop in the car we’re going to McDonald’s and you’re getting whatever the hell you want.”

Georgenotfound <3

-So when he brings you out to a nice snazzy resturant and you only get some thing simple, like a salad or something, or just don't get anything at all, George is like -"Hey.. I promise you, you deserve the world, and even more than that, so let me treat you." -He then proceeds to try to order something not as simple to try not to seem like a hypocrite or like he's making fun of you.

Wilbur Soot <333333

-I cannot express how loving this tall boy is, he literally loves you so much -so when he finds out you have imposter syndrome -He's literally trying so hard every chance he gets to pamper you -"Babe, please, I don't deserve this kind of stuff.." -He whips his head around so fast while making you your warm bath, -"...no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You do, Luv. Plus at this point why would I drain the water? You're already here and the water's already full..." -He joins your little bath (with your consent obviously..) -He's super gentle with you it's not even funny- -I just love him sm 🥺💖

Quackity <333333

-He already knew from the start when you started dating that you had imposter syndrome, but never brought it up because he thought it might be a sensitive topic with you. -You two never really went on fancy dates -When it came to dates it would really just be you both chilling in bed and watching a movie or smth -but when you guys went out to a shop or smth and he bought you something, you immediately go -"Alex, how expensive was this?" -"Why should it matter?" -And you give him one of those 'just tell me' looks -"Babe, it's a gift you don't tell the price of a gift." -You look at him with the most nervous face he's seen you with in awhile and you go, -"Then I don't want it. It was probably really expensive and I don't deserve money being spent on me." -Quackity shrugs and just puts it in the bag he got for it -Later that day you go to your room and see the bag sat on your bed with everything he bought you in it <3

Red Raven (OC) <3

-Okay so, know that Raven can be a little hyper, but she can also be a super calm person when needed. -So when she finds these little hints of imposter syndrome you're unknowingly dropping, she treats you well everyday, and takes you very seriously with your problems -when you finally go flat out out and say it that you think you don't deserve all of what she's giving, she says in the sweetest voice ever, -"Y/N, I love you to death, and I can never promise a tomorrow, even with how healthy and well I am, you never know what could happen, so let me treat you while I'm still alive and breathing. Alright, Luv?" -No lie makes you wanna cry but you hold it in cuz you don't wanna cry in a public area. -We love that- We love Raven. Right? Right. I love you Raven. <3

Nihachu <3

-Girl had no idea what imposter syndrome even was when you brought it up. She was basically like, -"Bestie I have no idea what that is, hold up lemme google it real quick." -Oh, she didn't like what she was reading. -"Y/N, you have this? This is not good, this is bad.." -She makes sure you feel secure at all times, even in not very secure situations, -She cooks for you, -She makes little crafts like earrings or necklaces for you, -She buys you so many things, -She takes you out as much as she can, -She's just overall trying to make you feel better about yourself and being super sweet to you.

Hope you enjoyed these HCs! if you have any requests, feel free to request!

#dreamsmpfic #georgenotfound imagines #Jack Manifold imagines #Quackity Imagines #Wilbur Soot imagines #Sapnap imagines #Karl Jacobs imagines #comfort fic #quackity fluff #quackity smut #Jack manifold fluff #Wilbur Soot fluff #Wilbur soot smut #sapnap fluff #sapnap smut #georgenotfound fluff #georgenotfound smut #karl jacobs fluff #karl jacobs smut

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iconuk01 · 2 months

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Icon_UK watches the debut of Bakuage Sentai Boonboomger

Or "Burst-Acceleration Team BoonBoomger"

Well, this was... a trip (apporpirately enough for a series whose themese are racing and cars)

In the first episode Taiya, a cool, good looking (if a trifle smug) guy in a very snazzy red car (and wearing a lot of red because branding is everything)

shows up at a fancy wedding where the bride, named Mira, is clearly reluctant, and the groom is a bit of a dick, and basically grabs her and races away in the car with her.

Turns out he's a courier, who has been hired by her real boyfriend to abduct her from the wedding. It's not stated outright, but it looks like she was being forced to marry the son of a big time gangster, an idea supported by the number of shades and guns that suddenly appear as the red car is chased by a number of cars. Truth be told, Mira doesn't look too pleased about being delivered to her boyfriend either, which Taiya notes, but says nothing about as it's her business.

Mira is, understandably, in a bit of a panic, what with the wedding/not wedding abduction/rescue and being pursued by gun wielding gangsters

Her mood is not helped by the sudden arrival of a couple of mechanical looking aliens,

driving what appears to be self aware monster truck, which ploughs through the gangsters cars like they were skittles, and which Taiya not only recognised but reveals his car has got some unusual features to escape from, like the ability to launch itself backward into the air for a couple of miles to escape the aliens, who are fascinated by Mira's wedding dress (Hey, we all have our little obsessions)

Deciding that she needs at least a change of clothes, Taiya takes her to a boutique, which he casually buys the entire stock of, and tells Mira to help herself to a new outfit. That's cool, but a little OTT, verging on the creepy, but he seems sincere.

Mira selects a rather pink outfit for herself (Ooooh! Foreshadowing?) whilst Taiya has a chat with someone over comms who turns out to be Jou, a rather strait laced type in an impeccable suit. (There's also a curry obsessed robot in the background of wherever Jou is, who is important, but let's leave that to one side for now)

Then the aliens show up again and in a truly inspired moment of weirdness, turn Mira's wedding dress into a Monster of the Week whose deep voiced battlecry, as they smother everyone within range with wedding dresses is, according to the fansub I watched, "Get Hitched!!" (Which actually sounds like a pretty good expletive when said properly... or improperly)

Taiya changes into Boon Red.

and does some fancy fighting with the aliens and their grunts, which impresses Mira more than a little.

Boon Red hands Mira off to Jou to take to the airport instead, which he does.

Then, in my favourite moment of the entire episode, about halfway there, Mira basically says, "Stuff this, I am tired of being driven by other people and of getting no say in my fate", and sneakily presses the "Fly backwards a couple of miles" button so that the car flies back into the middle of the battle, to Jou's annoyance.

There she tells Taiya that she wants to fight too and "I want to deliver MYSELF to where I want to be" which is a pretty cool way of saying she wants her autonomy, so more power to her.

Impressed by her decisiveness, Taiya agrees, giving her a BoonBoom Changer of her own, so she can become Boon Pink, and to the surprise of nobody watching this far into the episode, Jou is Boon Blue.

There's a lot more after that, with robots and what appears to be a Hot Wheels videogame level before combining into the Mecha form we've been waiting for and taking down Wedding Dress monster

youtube

Full marks to whichever designer decided that the ideal weapon to equip a giant robot, which is going to be fighting mechanical monsters a lot, is a giant screwdriver.

Things go boom, (see what I did there?) and the episode ends with Mira explaining to her rather dull (and not overly bright by the sound of it) actual boyfriend that she's not leaving with him, she's becomign a Boonboomger instead, whether he likes it or not.

As Taiya (being very smug again) notes to Jou whilst watching this exchange "The delivery was made, but the package was redirected to BoonBoomger", which is either stretching an analogy to breaking point, or completely undermining the "Self determination" arc of Mira's story.

All in all, this looks like it's going to be one of the sillier sentai in a while, and whilst I have a fairly low tolerance for that, let's see where it goes.

Alas though, I'm afraid that I just cannot get past how ridiculous those helmets look.

I can see what they're going for of course, but the spoked tyres/hubcap look would probably make a better chest design than a helmet one. The tyre moulding sticks out in front of the actors faces by several inches and looks clumsy unless they're looking right at you.

Aside from the fact that Boon Orange looks like either a showerhead or the handset of an old landline telephone, the lack of a coherent pattern to the styling annoys me.

I mean, look at OhRanger (aka Power Rangers Zeo)

They all share the concept of geometric shapes that increase in the number of sides involved as you go up the apparent chain of command: Pink is a circle (which has one side), Yellow is two parallel lines, Blue is a three sided triangle, Green is a four sided rectangle, and though that should mean Red has a five sided pentagon, I can see why they went for a five pointed star instead. Also, their Sixth Ranger has a symbol which has both six "points" and is also the kanji for "King", so that has a consistency to it.

Likewise MagiRanger (Power Rangers Mystic Force), has a pattern linked to the characters age order (they are all siblings in MagiRanger)

Green, the first born, has one horn on each side of his Minotaur emblem

Pink, the second oldest, has wings with two segments on each side of her Fairy emblem.

Blue, the third oldest, has three flukes on each side of the Mermaid tail emblem

Yellow, the fourth oldest, has four feathers visible on each wing of the Garuda emblem

Red, the youngest, has five feathers on each wing of his Phoenix emblem

And their mother, whose magic is connected with snow and ice, has a six pointed snowflake as her emblem, so it's continuing the pattern, albeit in the opposite direction.

But BoonBoomger has no pattern that I can see

Red has five spokes

Blue has three spokes

Pink has six spokes

Black has eight spokes

And Orange hasn't even got spokes, but seven holes instead

There's no logic or pattern to them that I can see and it irritates me more than it should.

Oh well, let's see how it goes with the next episode!

#bakukage sentai boonboomger #first episode review #sorry there's also a bit of a rant about the logic of sentai helmets in there #so you should know that before you read the rest of it #magiranger #Ohranger #Youtube #sentai #power rangers #source material

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cockasinthebird · 1 year

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So like I said earlier, I started writing the cyberpunk 2077 AU, and, well, here it is! 5 whole pages, not M nor E yet, but that will come, just you wait hehe ;)

The music of Afterlife beats like a heart, ironically enough, since the place used to be a morgue, the slaps now used as tables around the space, with a big, fancy bar in the middle. Oddly big for a morgue if you ask Billy, but he won't complain, got good booze, especially the Jackie Welles one, "with a splash of love" or some shit, whatever that is.

But tonight he's not here for the drinks or to watch the dancers in the water filled tubes, although he does give Claire a friendly nod as he passes by. No he's here to meet some fixer that gave him a short message asking to meet up and that was it.

"Come by Afterlife, got a job for you."

He's not even sure what they look like or where at the bar they'll be, so he's stuck wandering around in circles like some kind of lost gonk.

And just as he grits his teeth with annoyance, ready to delta, someone approaches him.

"So you must be the merc everyone's always talking about. Even Rogue."

Billy turns around to face the prettiest fucker he's ever seen, slightly taller than himself, especially with that poofed up hair, and a pristine suit - awfully clean, like it hasn't ever seen a day of hard work before. Same goes for his clean skin, moles dotted across it as the only blemishes, no scars, no tech on him.

"Yeah, maybe so." He licks his lips that turn into a grin. "What's it to you?"

"Might be a lot, might be a little, really depends on you." The fixer smiles with a hand on his hip.

Billy gives him a quick scan, no affiliation. "Just give me the detes, don't got all night."

The brunette sucks his teeth and gives Billy a certain look from head to toe. "Shame you're in such a hurry… don't wanna get a drink, talk it over proper?"

"Why, you paying?" Billy crosses his arms but keeps his well amused smirk.

"Sure, first round's on me - last round? We'll see."

The merc very much enjoys the tone of his new fixer, and the way he near sensually watches him as they walk to the bar.

“A Johnny Silverhand, and…” The man in the snazzy suit looks to Billy as they order from Claire.

“A Jackie Welles.”

“Haven’t heard of that one before,” he admits and leans on his elbow on the countertop, whilst Claire quietly pours them their drinks.

“Yeah, well…” Billy avoids eye contact, looks away as he tries to forget Arasaka. “Trying to get it to catch on.”

They both bottom their glasses in one go, although he doesn’t miss how the fixer stares at him even when doing just that.

“You sure you don’t want a more… private setting?” he suggests and the other man huffs a laugh.

“Why, are we chooms all of a sudden? No I know you merc types well enough to want a more public scene, besides, this won’t take long.”

“Do I at least get a name?”

“Of who? Me or the client?” The brunette grins knowingly.

“Who do ya think?”

“Stephano Harrington, but you can call me Steve.” Steve extends his hand, and Billy shakes it firmly. “Manners, nice.”

“Yeah, well, my ma taught me right.”

“And your pa?”

Again Billy has nothing to say, nothing he wants to say at least. Spilling personal details to a stranger is a danger in Night City. “So what exactly does the client want from me?”

“It’s really very simple, there’s a van with some goods in it, and I need you to klep it for my client to an address that they have chosen for you two to meet at,”

“Nothing’s ever simple in NC, and this? Sounds too easy.”

“Well maybe I’m an easy guy, maybe I needed an easy merc, who’d take on an easy job.”

Billy can’t help but ponder if there’s a double entendre there or not, but there’ll be time to figure that out later, if the way this Steve Harrington looks at him has anything to say.

“Sure then, shoot me the detes and I’ll get to it.” Billy rises from his seat.

“You don’t want to know about the payment?”

Eyes bluer than the ocean ever was looks Steve up and down. “I’m sure a guy like you will pay more than what’s fair, and besides we’ll meet after - still owe you a last round.”

It was far too easy to find, down by the docks in Watson Northside, fresh off the boat. The workers there were easily paid off, something mr Harrington will have to reimburse of course, and the doors to the container creaked open like sesame. Inside he found a teal colored van, otherwise unmarked and would probably be a bit suspicious to drive around in, but hey, a job’s a job, and Billy is a professional, takes it all very seriously. He tries to be as non-lethal as possible when going anywhere in this city, but he won’t shy down from a brawl if need be; has helped the NCPD plenty of times with their psychos and gang bangers.

The ride is smooth, not a lot of hard work required, just from point a to b, Watson to some megabuilding in downtown city center. It isn’t till there’s a bump on the road and a few voices gasping behind him that he senses something is very very wrong.

He finds the closest alleyway to back into, parks there, then rushes behind to get a look at this precious cargo he’s transporting.

Seven women and two men all whine as the harsh daylight hits their eyes where they’ve gotten used to the darkness they’re caught in.

“Oh shit.” Billy turns his back to them all, shoulders raised and tense, teeth gritting as he dials up Harrington.

“Billy,” he chimes as he picks up, “How’s it looking? Found the cargo alright?”

“Yeah I did, but you didn’t fucking tell me we were trafficking humans!”

“Oh look, a merc with a heart of gold, how quaint. So what does it matter? The client didn’t ask for a judge and jury for this job, they asked for someone to safely transport the goods.”

“This is not okay! Tell me who your client is and I’ll have a talk with them myself!”

“No that won’t do, but if you’re gonna be such a pussy about it, allow me to explain some, will you?”

Billy clenches his fists and turns to look at the very confused people who haven’t fled the scene yet for some reason. They’re not shackled or poorly dressed or anything, just… sitting there staring.

“Go on.”

“They’re fugitives.”

“What?”

“Yeah, fleeing from bad pasts all across the country, trying to come into Night City in hopes of a brighter future, all that bs that the advertisements sell us.”

“Is that the truth?”

“We may not know each other very well, Billy, but trust me, I don’t lie.”

“Excuse me, sir?” a timid and gentle voice asks as one of the women approaches Billy. “Is this where we get off?” she asks as if she’s on the bus.

“N-no, we still have a bit to go, so just sit down again, yeah?” he tries to speak as kindly as possible. “Harrington, we’re not done yet.”

“I didn’t assume so.” And without a goodbye, Steve hangs up the phone.

Billy stamps in past the bouncer and up to where Steve is spending another night drinking his Johnny Silverhand alone at the bar, eyeing up every piece of meat around him.

“Hello Billy-”

“Why didn’t you just fucking tell me?!” The blonde flares his nostrils and scowls at the other.

“Would it have saved us any questions and time?” Harrington asks almost politely and swirls his drink around in the square glass.

And the way he asks takes Billy off guard, making him take a step back to consider his answer. “Probably… probably not.”

“Exactly, and it was a time sensitive job clearly, so I didn’t think it prudent for you to know every single detail in the moment. Would you have said yes, then?”

The blonde sits down and waves for Claire to pour him his usual. He has calmed down considerably and a drink would take off that final edge. “I’d like to think so, yeah, again given you’re telling the truth.”

“And would you have believed me that they were willing participants if you hadn’t seen it for yourself?”

“No.”

“Then that’s that! Client was very happy, I’m happy, hopefully you’ll be happy with the payout.”

Just then, 2k eddies is transferred to Billy’s account, and he gapes. “Mr. Harrington, if you pay this well for something as simple as a transport op, this’ll be a very fruitful partnership.”

Billy gives a friendly slap to Steve’s back just as he takes a sip, making the finer man cough up a lung and spewing his drink all over the bar.

Claire pauses with her hands on her hips and a very displeased expression.

But Harrington still smiles all the same as usual, and turns to look Billy straight in the eye.

“Well Billy, I believe so too.”

Then he places his hand on Billy’s thigh.

#Harringrove #AU #CP AU

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slytherinshua · 7 months

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#zanna answers the inbox!!#mizu ⌦ .｡.:*♡

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aggimaginary · 2 years

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The Bad Guys (my version) - The Heist (chapter 3)

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Hey guys! Sorry for delaying the publication for hours. I was sick as I felt that I had a fever, so I decided to sleep more today. But now I felt better, I had time to post this. Enjoy the heist!

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"So here's the plan. Like every year, the ceremony will be held at the Museum of Fine Arts..."

The plan was set. They would infiltrate the fancy-pants event at the Museum of Fine Arts, posing as guests who were there to celebrate the life and achievements of that annoying guinea pig, Professor Marmalade. During the festivities, they'd sneak backstage using Web's clever hacking skills. Wolf finished explaining the plan for the gang, "...where the Golden Dolphin will be positioned just beyond the backstage curtain."

"Pssh," Piranha said, waving a fin. "Sounds easy."

"Sounds easy, hermano," Wolf agreed, "But to get there, we need to bypass three levels of security. So. Step One: We'll need to blend in."

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The Bad Guys all got to work finding their costumes for the night. Since most of their lives were spent stealing, getting gussied up for a party was a new kind of fun. By the time the party rolled around, they were all set. Wolf had chosen a snazzy suit, along with a dapper fedora, silk tie, fake mustache, and tinted glasses. He had mastered the part of a fancy movie star, like George Clooney as his muse and guide. That guy always looked good.

Shark, meanwhile, had gone the opposite direction, cramping his body into a gorgeous gown that was stretched to the limit by Shark's massive, muscular form. Perched atop Shark's head, Tarantula had fashioned her long limbs into the shape of a butterfly fascinator hat.

Snake went old-school, complete with a classic suit, handlebar mustache, monocle, top hat, and a pair of fake arms to help fill out the look.

Piranha squeezed into a kid-size coat, a tiny top hat, and tails, looking handsome and a bit childish—but it did the trick.

Hornet was hiding under Piranha's hat, poking his head out to see. He didn't need a disguise as he was too small to be noticed. This was a good advantage to him, but it could be lonely sometimes... not being noticed by others, but he was happy he always got to notice by his friends.

When they arrived at the museum, they joined in with a long line of guests who were already milling about, waiting to enter the event. There was a grand staircase stretching up toward the Fine Arts Museum, and the group of disguised Bad Guys had just begun to climb the steps when a stretch limo pulled up at the bottom of the stairs. Many of the guests turned to watch as Professor Marmalade, the eccentric and good-natured do-gooder who would be honored that night, popped out of the limo and began his own march up the stairs to the party. Paparazzi flooded in around the little guinea pig, eager to snap shots of the evening's featured guest.

"Professor Marmalade..." Wolf muttered, "This year's recipient of the Gold Dolphin and the most annoying good guy on the planet."

Marmalade waved to his crowd of adoring fans, then stepped up to talk with Tiffany Fluffit, the eager news reporter who'd been assigned to the night's festivities. "Professor," Tiffany started. "In the past year, you've stopped wars, fed the hungry, and saved countless pandas. Some have described your goodness as second only to Mother Teresa!"

Professor Marmalade nodded, putting on the look of earnest humility. "Oh, Tiffany, it's not a competition! And if it were, it would really be more of a tie. But we can all agree that there is a flower of goodness inside all of us, just waiting to blossom."

Everyone within earshot broke into applause, overcome with love for the oh-so-good professor. Marmalade waved to the crowd as he continued his climb up the red carpet, heading inside to the awards ceremony where even more fans were waiting for a glimpse of that evening's headliner.

"Once we get inside," Wolf continued "There are two armored doors..." He explained how they would get into the doors that were locked and sealed tightly, with extra protections, to ensure that the beloved Golden Dolphin was safe and secure until it was thrust into Professor Marmalade's grubby little guinea pig paws. "The first door can only be opened by a special key card that is carried at all times by our dear friend, the chief of police," Wolf told the others. "The second is outfitted with a retinal scanner that only words with Governor Foxington's eye, and it's also guarded by an elite special ops until trained to strike first and ask questions later."

The other Bad Guys nodded,

Wolf pointed out, "Since Governor Foxington is the only one who has clearance to open the second door, Step Two is that she and I will need to get up close and personal..."

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"Okay, friends," Wolf said, rejoining the others on the far side of the museum's huge entranceway. He flipped the ring that he secretly stole from Diane, and said while catching it back into his paw, "It's showtime.

He and the other Bad Guys started to make their move, heading inside the museum, with Wolf instructed, "Once we're in, it's on to step three: We split up and we take our positions."

Meanwhile, while the Bad Guys entered the museum, up on the floor above, the chief of police was instructing the fellow police officers on their mission for the evening. She paced the floor back and forth, declaring, "Officers, if the Bad Guys crash this event, I am definitely going to lose my job, and I will not hesitate to take you down with me. Now, move out!"

The officers all saluted Chief Luggins and said, "Yes, ma'am! Hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut...," while running to their positions. While the other officers got into position, the chief marched off, setting off on her patrol.

Back on the first floor, the Bad Guys were starting to move into their positions, looking as inconspicuous as possible, without anyone noticing.

Shark offered Tarantula a hand, as she climbed into his hand, and leaped down onto the floor, crawling off in a different direction, while the boys went their own separate ways. Hornet wore his helmet, and flew up as high as he could to take his position above to watch over the others.

Piranha was leaning up against a fountain and waited for the perfect moment before jumping in and quietly swimming underwater with a huge grin on his face, while making sure his little top hat followed him too. He ended up swimming through the pipe system of the fountain, heading towards somewhere for his part of the plan.

Snake looked behind him to make sure no one was following as he was heading towards a swirly, wavy golden pole-like statue.

Shark was heading into the receptionist area to fit in with the other guests.

Tarantula was crawling along the floor, avoiding getting stepped on by accident, while heading towards a wall to climb up onto.

Hornet was flying from one hanging light to another.

Wolf was gazing upon the quiet floors around the art areas, cool, clam, and certain that this heist was gonna go without a hitch.

Tarantula placed her hand on her communicator, and spoke through it, "Mic's on. Everyone on comms, do you copy?"

Each Bad Guy responded in order, letting her know that their comms were working as Wolf stated, "Copy."

"Copy" added Snake.

"Copy," responded Hornet.

"Copy" mentioned Piranha

And Shark replied with a high-pitched voice to match his female disguise, "Copy,"

With that, the Bad Guys were on the move.

Snake looked around to see if anyone was watching before carefully scaling up a high golden, swiggly pole, and entered the top vent.

Meanwhile, once Snake entered inside the vent, Tarantula was riding on the back of a fellow security officer, who was heading into the security room, as he used his keys to unlock the room before entering.

Over by the reception area, Shark had taken a seat by a table with a lot of drinks as a man dressed in a tuxedo approached her, and offered a drink, "A drink for the pretty lady?"

Shark, staying in tune with his disguised character, spoke in a high-pitched voice, "No, thank you. My life is too complicated right now," he took the two drinks out of his hands, much to the man's confusion.

When Hornet flew to the last chandelier he could find closer to him, he activated the HUD effect of his helmet, showing the video footage of the areas down below.

Up in the vents, Snake slithered slowly and carefully along the metal before stopping and going through the next part: shedding through his disguise... literally. He broke through his old skin and slithered out of it, and his disguise, emerging out while wearing a black bodysuit that covered his whole body, with his face as the only thing not covered, before moving forward.

Over in the men's restroom, a caterer wearing a catering uniform was whistling a happy tune while heading into a stall to use the toilet. However, he didn't see Piranha slowly peeking his head out from the toilet with a huge grin on his face as the man closed the bathroom stall door behind him, sealing his fate.

Back in the security room, Tarantula plugged in a red hard drive into the hard drive system and opened her lap-top, typing a code to log into the security cameras, while allowing the occurrence of multiple screens popping out from her computer so she could have a clear view of everything that was going on. On one of the screens, she saw the camera pointing at the Golden Dolphin, making Tarantula comment through the comm, "Boys, it's Dolphin season." Behind her, the poor, helpless security officer was hanging upside down, and gagged by duct tape.

Back in the bathroom, Piranha came out of the stall, wearing the innocent/knocked-out caterer's uniform, with tiny glasses on his face, and his Mohawk slicked down to look fancy. He tightened his bow tie and replied, "Copy that. I'm on the move."

Back at the party, the chief of police continued her patrol, talking into her walkie-talkie, "Unit two, is the backstage area still secure?"

The radio scratched and answered back with the fellow officer's voice, "Unit two. All clear."

The chief of police smiled, "This is where all the training pays off."

However, she wasn't looking where she was going and accidentally bumped into a mysterious stranger, which was actually Wolf, but she didn't seem to recognize him.

Wolf merely tipped his hat, making sure the chief didn't get a good look at his face as he turned to "leave", "Oh, pardon me. Terribly sorry."

Luckily, the chief didn't seem to recognize Wolf, and humbly answered to him, "Not a problem, sir," Then she spoke into her walkie-talkie again, "Keep your eyes open, boys. They could be anywhere, just waiting to humiliate us."

Little did she know that the "bump" was all planned, and Wolf had gotten a hold of her I.D. keycard without anyone noticing. As Wolf continued to walk towards the next stop on their heist plan, he looked up at the security camera that was watching him and smiled, showing off the card.

Hornet smiled as he watched Wolf in his helmet through the security camera, "Wolf is in position," he reported to the rest of the gang.

Tarantula heard him as she transferred her communication to Piranha, "Piranha, you all penguin-suited and booted?"

Near the kitchen, caterers were pushing out carts that had plates of food all organized on it. Pushing one of those carts was the disguised Piranha, who answered quietly so no one could hear him, except for Webs on the comm, "Affirmative. I'm a clean, mean, Dolphin-stealing machine," he looked up and happily greeted the other caterers, "What's going on, guys?"

While most of the other caterers went left, Piranha turned right and was pushing his cart somewhere. At the ceiling, Hornet saw Piranha separated from the other caterers as he spoke, "Piranha's out."

"I saw him, Hornet," Wolf replied as he was walking towards the stairway at the 2nd floor, eyeing Piranha while smiling, knowing their heist was going on without a hitch. Along the way, he pickpocketed a few of the guests, stealing their wallets, and a pearl necklace along the way.

On the floor, Piranha wheeled his catering cart over to a janitor's closet and jumped up to pull the handle and opened the door. Piranha was waving his fin while looking up on the ceiling where Hornet was watching his and Wolf's every move. Piranha smiled and then pulled the cart inside, ready to set up their next part of the plan.

Hornet nodded as he reported to Wolf, "Alright, Piranha's in. Are you sure you can handle this, Wolf?"

Wolf watched Piranha going inside the janitor's closet, and told Hornet through his comm, "I got this, Hornet. I'm on my way down."

"Perfect. I'll go check on Shark now," Hornet said as he flew all the way down from the chandelier, and headed to the floor where Shark is now.

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5 minutes later, when Wolf entered the janitor's closet with Piranha waiting for him and chopping on lemons, he was heard speaking into the comm, "Webs, what do you say about moving on to step four?"

Tarantula nodded, "Copy that," then, she turned her speech to Shark's comm while watching him on her screen, "Shark, you're up. Do your thing."

Shark gasped happily before asking quietly, "Do I get to improvise?"

Wolf answered on his comm while hiding inside under the tray rack and Piranha placed a plate on top of the serving rack, "Yes, fine. Improvise. But please be subtle."

Shark nodded in agreement, standing up and pouring his drink onto the floor, before he quickly tossed the table away and shouted in a high pitched voice, "i'M HAVING A BABY!!!"

All of the guests in the reception area turned around, looking at the disguised Shark, and gasped in worry as Shark continued the façade in a high-pitched voice, "Is there a doctor? Or perhaps several security guards that could leave their post and help me?!"

On the ceiling, Hornet was watching the whole scene as he facepalmed and groaned, "Seriously? That's not even subtle! I mean, who could fall for that—?"

On cue, the two security guards that were standing by the door that the keycard was needed immediately rushed over to "Help" the "pregnant" Shark.

Hornet was surprised that this distraction Shark made really worked, "Well, I was wrong," he then mumbled to himself, "This guy is really gonna get an award someday."

While this went on, by the elevator nearby, Piranha came out, wheeling the catering cart, and pushed it up to the door, while Wolf secretly used the keycard to unlock it, and opened the door, so they both could enter.

Inside the hallway, both Wolf and Piranha eyed the two guards that were standing in front of the main door, and they nodded at each other, set to do the next part of their plan.

The two guards were keeping watch when they saw a mysterious catering cart roll up towards them. Curiously, one of them picked up a name card that described the "dish" as he read, "Fish surprise?"

However, when they lifted the lid to see the food, they did get a fish surprise: an adorable Piranha, smiling cutely, dressed up like a caterer, kicking his legs in the air, exclaiming, "Surprise!" He leaped off the plate, tackling the two guards.

Not two minutes later, both guards were easily beaten and helplessly laying on the catering cart, with Piranha gently brushing the dust off his outfit, and Wolf holding his phone with the photo at the ready. He kicked the cart away before enlarging the image, trying to make Diane's eye in the photo bigger. However, it still looked very blurry.

With that, he sent the photo to Webs, and asked "Hey, Webs, can you enhance this..."

Not ten seconds later, a perfectly enhanced, clear image was sent back to Wolf, with Tarantula replying, "Done. Eight steps ahead of you, Wolfie."

Wolf used the now clear image to have the scanner scan the eye, as it accepted it, opening the metal doors, allowing Wolf and Piranha inside the backstage area. All the way past a set of lasers was their prize just waiting to be caught: the Golden Dolphin trophy, making Wolf smile and laugh.

Over at the reception area, a lady was speaking through the speakers, "Ladies and gentlemen, your emcee for the Good Samaritan Awards..."

Meanwhile, Shark was practicing the "pregnant breathing" technique to keep up the façade of being pregnant, until he heard Wolf speak through his comm, "All right, Shark, we're in."

Shark quickly stood up and told the people around him, including the officers, "Oops, I forgot, I'm not pregnant," he left to sit elsewhere, making the officers very confused.

At the stage, the announcer then spoke, " ...president of the committee, Governor Diane Foxington," The crowd of people applauded her, with Diane, who was wearing a beautiful magenta dress, walking onto the stage and towards a podium with a mic.

She smiled and said in the mic, "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. Last year, we faced our biggest test when a meteorite crashed into our dear city. That meteorite didn't just make a hole in our city. It made a hole in our hearts."

The audience all awed sadly, remembering that day, with Shark even emitting tears as well, to keep up with the disguise. Even Hornet watched the whole scene. Even though he's a bad guy, he still felt sympathy for the disaster made by that meteor.

Diane then continued, "But even in tragedy, Professor Marmalade, he did what he does so well. He made us look at things differently. And thanks to you, Marmalade, the Love Crater Meteorite will forever serve as a symbol of how there is good even in the worst places."

Backstage, while the ceremony was going on, Wolf and Piranha tore off their disguises, revealing their black bodysuits, and took opposite sides of the room, leaping off the stair banisters and statues to get up high towards the ceiling.

On cue, Snake popped his head, and most of his body out, set to be both boys' rope. Wolf and Piranha leaped towards Snake, grabbing onto him, as Wolf barely held on, almost slipping.

Snake did his best to hold them up, "Hurry up."

Piranha climbed up to the top of the vent and held tightly onto Snake's tail, like if he was holding the end of a rope. Slowly, he helped to lower Snake and Wolf down towards the trophy, carefully and cautiously, getting closer and closer.

Wolf, seeing that they were mere inches from grabbing it, commented to Snake, "This is going surprisingly smoothly."

However, when Wolf readied to grab it, the ring he nabbed from Diane earlier flew out and fell, slightly hitting the trophy before it started to fall towards the lasers.

Then, a bunch of rays shot up and were set on fire, as Wolf quickly scrambled to catch the ring before it could hit the lasers, nabbing it with his feet, and barely dodging a laser being fired right at him, which ended up hitting and destroying a statue.

Snake, seeing the lasers, commented, "What the molt is that!?"

Wolf looked up and then saw something that made him gasp, and commented, "The Wolf Hornet Piranha Snake Shark Tarantula Protection System," he pointed to a metal sign attached to the moving rod of one of the lasers that had the acronym for what he just said, and a picture of all six of the Bad Guys' face silhouettes, with a big red "NO" sign over them.

Tarantula overheard Wolf's comment over the comm, "The WHPSST?"

Wolf was close to freaking out, "This was not supposed to happen."

Snake, concerned now, asked, "What?"

Tarantula, in the security room, seemed calm about it, "Guys, calm down. I'm on it. Initiating WHPSST override protocol," she pulled out a red hard drive that had a white skull that had an orange flame on it, and plugged it into her computer.

Tarantula started to type away, trying to hack into the WHPSST system, and said happily when she thought she had it, "Get it, queen!"

However, to her shock, the screen had a big red X, indicating she didn't successfully hack into it. And over in the backstage area, Wolf seemed to sense that something was wrong, "Did it work?"

Tarantula groaned and shouted, "Just give me five minutes," she tried again to hack into it.

However, when Wolf and Snake heard Diane starting to welcome Marmalade to the stage, Snake commented, "We don't have five minutes!"

Over at the reception area, Diane announced, "And now, please help welcome me to the stage... "Professor Marmalade!"

The guinea pig smiled and got up from his seat, interacting with the cheering crowd, who shouted things like, "Aw," and "We love you, Professor Marmalade!"

Shark was spying seeing Marmalade heading to the stage, speaking quietly into his comm, "The pig is on the move. I repeat, the pig is on the move."

Even Hornet saw Marmalade going up the stage as he yelled through his comm, "Webs, hurry up! We're running out of time!"

Wolf was starting to panic, shouting into his comm, "Webs, Webs, the curtain's going up any minute!"

However, despite what Tarantula tried, nothing seemed to be working as she replied, "It's not letting me in!"

Wolf and Snake tried to offer some solutions as Wolf said, "Check your system preferences."

Snake added, "You probably need to download a driver."

Wolf then mentioned, "Try rebooting."

In the security room, Tarantula seemed to be smiling, and said sarcastically, "Oh, my gosh, you fixed it."

But when Wolf and Snake asked, "Really?"

On the comm, Tarantula angrily shouted back, "NOO!"

Just then, through the HUD effect of his helmet, Hornet saw the live footage of Chief Luggins heading to the security room where Tarantula was in,"Oh no," Hornet commented as he spoke through his comm, "Webs, watch out! There's a..."

In Tarantula's end, she heard someone knocking on the door and saw the door handle jiggle, and heard the chief of police's voice , "Hey, Larry. Come on, open up. What did we say about locking doors?"

Tarantula knew that if the chief got in, they were gonna be so busted! She frantically commented, "Oh, no, no, no, no, no," She then communicated to Shark, "Shark, I got a situation here!"

Shark answered back on the comm, "Copy that. I'm on my way."

Tarantula prayed that the chief didn't try to come inside.

"I'll keep a more eye on the chief. I'll be right there, Webs," Hornet said as he left his position, and flew back to the main floor as fast as he could.

In the vents, Piranha could feel his stomach starting to eerily gurgle, as he tried to hold on as hard as he could, commenting strenuously, "Hurry up, guys."

Tarantula knew that it was now or never as she cracked her knuckles, and said, "Time to turn this baby on beast mode."

She pressed a button on her computer, which allowed a smaller set of keyboards to emerge, and shouted in determination, "Eat it, WHPSST!"

As fast as lightning, Tarantula started to type up a storm, trying to quickly override the WHPSST system so her friends could steal the Golden Dolphin and get out in time.

Meanwhile, Piranha could feel something very "gassy" was about to happen, and panicked, "Please, not now. Wolf."

Wolf looked up and knew what was about to happen, and tried to tell Piranha to stop it, "Wait, wait, wait. No, no, Piranha!"

At the reception area, Marmalade was giving an acceptance speech, "This award is for..."

Suddenly, everyone grew quiet when they heard what sounded like a fart, but figured it was nothing, allowing Marmalade to continue, "As I was saying..."

Piranha saw the gas cloud he had emitted was spreading through the vents, and that made him even more worried, because what if someone smelled it?! They were gonna be in even more trouble, making him utter frantically, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!"

And was he right about someone smelling it and causing trouble, because in the security room, Tarantula was hard at work trying to hack when she smelled something odd. She turned around and saw Piranha fart cloud entering the room, and she grew frustrated, shouting into her comm., "Piranha! Are you kidding me?!"

She heard his voice answer, "Sorry!"

Tarantula continued her hacking to work.

Back at the reception area, Marmalade was continuing his speech, "And that's why my Gala for Goodness will raise all the money needed for those less fortunate."

The chief of police was starting to get impatient, continuously knocking on the door and shouting in an attempt to get "Larry" to open, "Come on!"

Tarantula saw the whole room become enveloped in Piranha's fart cloud, and in a desperate attempt to try and finish her work without passing out, she took a huge deep breath of the last bit of fresh air in the room and begun trying to hack as fast as she could in the fart cloud.

Meanwhile, the chief was getting angrier, and then commented, "I'm starting to get mad here, Larry," She pulled out a set of keys, finding one to unlock the door.

Hornet was clinging on the wall where he watched Chief Luggins flipping the keys to find the right one for the door. Hornet gasped as he knew if the chief found the key, she would soon find Webs inside, and the jig is up, "Shark, hurry up. I don't think Webs have time!" Hornet said through his helmet when contacting Shark.

"I'll be there as soon as possible. Just stay there, and keep an eye on Chief for me." Shark replied to him. But Hornet was in a state of panic as he couldn't just sit here and wait for Shark or the chief to open the door and catch Tarantula inside.

Tarantula was trying her best, but the fumes were starting to get to her, and they were so strong, it made her eyes water and that made it hard to see.

Wolf panicked through the comm, "Webs! Webs!"

Tarantula kept holding in her breath and tried to wipe away the stinging eye tears from the gas cloud, so she could finish the second half of her attempt to hack into WHPSST.

On stage, Diane announced, "And now the moment we've all been waiting for," and was getting set to give Marmalade the trophy.

The curtain started to rise, about to show the backstage. Wolf and Snake saw this and panicked, trying to move upward to avoid getting seen, while also trying to dodge the lasers that still followed them.

In the security room, Tarantula was close to completion, and had almost finished successfully hacking into the system, but the fart cloud became too much, and with a heavy heart, and a last teardrop, she slumped over onto the desk and passed out.

Wolf and Snake were panicking as they saw the curtain that separated the front and back stage, panicking that they were gonna get seen.

Outside, the chief had used the key to unlock the door, and had just slightly opened it, since she was trying to open it so she could go inside, when she heard a high-pitched voice ask her that made her turn around, "Excuse me. Is this the ladies' room?"

It turned out to be Shark, in his female disguise.

Hornet saw Shark finally arrive as he sighed in relief, "Phew!"

The chief luckily didn't recognize Shark in disguise, and answered happily, "Oh, uh, y-you need to take a right at the end of the hall, ma'am."

However, because she wasn't paying attention, the chief didn't notice that the slightly cracked opened door was the miracle that made the fart cloud disappear.

Hornet noticed the fart cloud escaping from the room. That meant Tarantula can breathe while focusing on her hacking, "Webs, Webs, wake up. You're all clear!

This made Tarantula come back to it, so she could finish the job. With a few quick clicks on her keyboard, Tarantula was able to override the last column to completely override the entire WHPSST system.

Tarantula smiled victoriously, "Yes. Woopang!"

However, she was greeted to one last nasty surprise: a tab appeared, "I'm not a tarantula"

This made Tarantula groan, and shouted, "Oh, come on!"

She used her mouse pad to scroll the pointer to the box to confirm she "wasn't" a tarantula, and that was the final key that turned off the WHPSST system, shutting the rays down, making Wolf and Snake very relieved, and just in time too.

On stage, Diane proclaimed, "And now it is my honor to award Professor Marmalade with the Golden Dolphin," She was set to pick up the trophy to give to Marmalade.

However, the audience, Marmalade, and Diane were in for a shock to see that the Golden Dolphin... was gone!

The audience was in dismay, including Diane herself, who uttered, "No."

"No," Marmalade added in concern.

By the security room door, Shark overheard what had happened and exclaimed to himself in his normal voice, "Yes," Then, he straightened up, acting lady-like again, and said in a high-pitch voice, "I mean, yes!" He gave the chief a friendly lady wave before walking away, while the chief stood there in confusion, before shrugging, not thinking about it too much.

However, when she opened the door all the way, she was greeted by a sight that made her scream in panic: a computer screen that showed that the Golden Dolphin was missing. She ran off, shutting the door behind her, but forgot all about Larry, who was still tied up and gagged with duct tape, hanging from the ceiling.

Back at the reception area, Diane tried to keep the peace with the panicking crowd, "Everyone, everyone, uh, please don't panic. Just stay calm. I'm-I'm sure there's an explanation for this. I repeat, uh, please do not panic."

With all this mayhem going on, no one saw the Bad Guys, back in their original disguises, slowly walking away, making a clean getaway, with the trophy hidden somewhere so they could take it out without anyone seeing them.

With their heist complete, Wolf smiled and said softly to the team, "Nice work, everybody. Now, let's make like a wolf and get the pack out of here."

Piranha chuckled, "Ah, wordplay. I don't get it."

Hornet rolled his eyes, and facepalmed, "Ugh, Piranha, try to keep up, man." He clapped the back of his hand with his other hand while growling at Piranha.

Marmalade, wanting to help everyone stay calm, stated, "Diane, Diane, if I may..." while running up to the podium, climbing up to the top of it, and holding the microphone in his paws. He faced the crowd, "You have to understand, I didn't bring hope back to the city for an award. I did these good things because of how they made me feel."

The Bad Guys didn't seem to be paying attention to what Marmalade said as they were sure of having a nice, clear exit, even when Marmalade said, "That tingly feeling I get. That shivers up my spine. The wag in my tiny tail."

At the sound of the "Wagging tail" part, Wolf suddenly...stopped, and turned around, removing his glasses and looked up at Marmalade, listening to what the guinea pig said next.

Marmalade, with the sweetest look in his eyes, commented, "Because, you see, being good just feels so good. And when you're good, you're loved."

Wolf couldn't help but find a sense of wonder in that, but before he could divulge his feelings any deeper, Wolf felt his tail wagging, and tried to get it to stop, with his team watching in confusion.

"Wolf," whispered Snake.

"Wolf," whispered Piranha.

"What are you doing," whispered Shark, in his normal voice.

"Stop that," whispered Hornet.

"Go," whisper-shouted the whole team, trying to get Wolf to come back to them so they could escape.

However, the commotion made one of the guests turn around and see Wolf standing there without his hat or glasses, and his fake mustache falling off. He immediately recognized who he was, and shouted in fright, "It's the Bad Guys!"

All of the guests started to scream and panic at the sight of the Bad Guys with the chief of police stepping in, pushing two of the guests aside so she could stand up front, and shouted, "Arrest them!"

The other officers quickly moved in, sliding down police lines, or leaping off the ledge up on the upper floor, and together, they quickly surrounded the Bad guys, giving them nowhere to run.

Backed into a corner, thinking that she had finally got them somewhere where she could catch them, she exclaimed while pointing at the Bad Guys, "They stole the Golden Dolphin!"

Wolf tried to play it cool, making it seem like his team was innocent as he said while crossing his arms and leaning up against Snake, "Come on, you can't prove that."

However, the Golden Dolphin Trophy that dropped from under Shark's dress could as Shark also tried to play it cool, shouting in his female voice, "My baby," but it was no use.

Hornet facepalmed once again. He knew Shark's acting was useless since they were exposed, "Shark, knock it off! The jig is up!"

There seemed to be absolutely no escape as the chief stepped forward, cracking her knuckles, and set to arrest them with the other officers excitedly, "On your knees, Bad Guys! With your hands up!"

However, none of the Bad Guys had any intentions of getting caught, especially Snake, who slithered forward from behind Wolf, and shouted, "Never! We're out of here!"

Wolf launched his grappling hook onto the ceiling, as it broke through the glass ceiling, set to pull everyone up. The rest of the Bad guys gathered together, holding tightly onto Wolf so they could all be pulled up to safety, while Snake wrapped around them, securing all of them together like a seat belt. Hornet didn't need to stick with the guys. He already could fly, so all he needed is to just follow his friends when they made their escape.

"So long, suckers!" Wolf exclaimed. However, when Wolf pressed the button for the line to retract, instead of the grappling hook pulling the team up, it tore Wolf's pants up, leaving Wolf in his boxers. All of the guests, officers, and even the team themselves looked down at what had just occurred, while Wolf felt quite embarrassed, shooting a sheepish smile while he brushed his hand back to the back of his head, and commented sheepishly, "Well, this just got a little weird."

Hornet couldn't help but groan embarrassingly, and facepalmed once again, disappointed by Wolf's failure of helping the team escape. Despite that Hornet could fly, he couldn't bear to go without them. He rather stayed and got captured with the team than leaving them behind. The entire team of Bad Guys all grinned sheepishly, hoping that everyone wasn't going to take this too seriously... but they were wrong.

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Special thanks to MasterClass60 for helping me with this chapter! This is a long one, and I can't make it myself!

I hope you like this chapter. Please comment and stay tune!

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#the bad guys #thebadguys #dreamworks the bad guys #the bad guys dreamworks #the bad guys movie #tbg #the bad guys movie 2022 #the bad guys 2022 #mr wolf #mr snake #mr shark #mr piranha #ms tarantula #mr hornet #the bad guys oc #tbg dreamworks #The Bad Guys fanfic

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allurebeyond · 1 month

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Affordable Luxury Watches As A Gift? Let’s Explore!

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Finalizing

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#imitation watch #luxury watch brands #replica watch #watch #branding #affordable #jewelry #marketing

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vrankup · 7 months

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Nailing E-Commerce: Your Guide to Rocking Your Online Store |vrankup|

Hey there, fellow e-commerce enthusiasts! So, you're all set to dive into the e-commerce world? Awesome choice! Our digital marketing agency in Dwarka has your back with this easy-breezy guide on running your e-commerce website like a pro. Let's keep it casual and get you rolling in just the right way!

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Your shop's style matters, big time! Make it look snazzy and match your vibe. Simple navigation is the name of the game. Use snazzy pics of your products and keep a color scheme that's on point.

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Your shop's gotta be a breeze to stroll through. Keep it super easy for visitors to find stuff. Divide your goodies into categories and subcategories. And hey, a search bar is like your secret weapon – makes finding stuff a piece of cake.

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You don't want peeps ditching their carts, right? Keep the checkout smooth as silk. Only ask for what you really need. Throw in guest checkout and different payment choices for extra awesomeness.

**6. Tight Security:**

Lock it down! Your customers need to feel safe. Get solid payment gateways like PayPal and Stripe. Show off trust badges – they're like your shop's bodyguards against online shenanigans.

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Heads up, everyone's on their phones these days. Make sure your shop looks like a million bucks on mobiles and tablets. Mobile-responsive is the name of the game.

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Time for a little wizardry – SEO style! Sprinkle those magical keywords all over your product pages and blog. Update your meta stuff and image tags too. That way, you'll show up higher in search results. Bam!

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Reviews are like gold dust. They build trust, baby! Ask your happy customers to leave reviews. Display them proudly. And don't worry if there's a not-so-happy one – just tackle it pro-style.

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Time to spread the word! Hit up social media, send out emails, create killer content, and even try some online ads. The more marketing magic, the better.

**11. TLC for Your Shop:**

Give your shop some love. Keep it fresh by adding new stuff and updating the deets. And don't slack on the security stuff – keep everything updated and tight.

**12. Customer Charm:**

Give your customers the VIP treatment. Make their experience unforgettable.

**13. Data Discovery:**

This data is pure gold for making things even better.

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As your shop gets bigger and cooler, you might need some fancy features. Think about automation, personalized suggestions, and loyalty programs. The sky's the limit!

**15. Stay in the Loop:**

Remember, the e-commerce world's always spinning. Keep up with trends, new tech, and what your customers are digging. Stay in the loop, and you'll stay ahead.

In a nutshell, owning an e-commerce website is like jamming in a band – a mix of creativity, tech, and customer love. From picking the right platform to creating killer content, you're on your way to e-commerce stardom. So go on, rock that online shop, and watch the magic happen!

Catch you later,

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redwingedwolves · 1 year

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See. 9 hits and suddenly I realize what time it is and that I have yet again been active and just blatantly not wrote this. XD Passage of time what is thee?

Prompt List

13th Feb: - 💓"Preparations!": Do you and your F/O need to prepare anything for Valentines Day? Do you need to plan outfits? Do you need to double check reservations? Do you just chill in pajamas and relax?💓

Keigo

With Keigo, chances are he's planned some kind of date so that means we're going out. I'm fairly certain he would be the one to keep check on any reservations he'd made(though he knows I'm not one for fancy restaurants so there probably aren't any to keep checked), but if he was too busy to do so or something I'm sure he'd ask me to make sure everything was still good to go. Outfits though, are probably the easiest part. I literally own like one good suit do that's what I'd be wearing if we were going anywhere snazzy. Keigo has several, but he likes to match so he'd just pick out the one he thinks goes best with mine and be done with it. Beyond that there wouldn't be any real plan making or stuff to prepare besides waiting for the time to roll around for us to go.

Chances are though, despite the possibility of all the above, at the end of the day that very last thing is what we're going to end up doing anyway. XD

Dabi

Dabi's like me in that we don't really like going out all that much. Sure it's fun on the occasion but it doesn't have to be special occasions. We're totally chill with just lounging at home and binge watching whatever show we'd happen to be on. Dabi's main thing would probably be whatever he has planned for that night, and knowing him it's going to be the kind of thing where I'm so tired afterward that there is no room for anything else.

#winged wolves🐺🦅#hell hounds🐺🔥#self ship #proship self ship #proship selfship #suggestive #but only slightly

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transfennecbuddy · 1 year

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HI HI HI HELLO I have a THING! That I want to show y'all! HEHEHEHEHEHE I have another rant!! I shall hide it behind the read more thing but yeah!!! Hehe rant!!

(Also! Legal disclaimer! [Not really but same vibe.] This rant is about a super fancy snazzy spiffy science thing [CRISPR] but I'm not a science professional! I'm just doing a school project on this! This is what I got from YouTube videos and websites and such, yeah? If I get things wrong, that's why!)

Hi hi hi so you came to see my rant huh? Huh huh huh? Well I shall show you hehehe!

Have you heard of a thing called CRISPR? I'm gonna assume that you haven't so that I can explain!! It's a gene editing tool that uses a protein called Cas9, which is commonly found in bacteria! You see, bacteria have been using this fancy thing all along for ages! Like whenever bacteria get attacked by a virus (which happens a lot) and that virus is new to it, it doesn't really have a fancy defense mechanism to protect itself. But if it survives the attack, then it takes a bit of the virus's DNA and saves it in a section of its own DNA using Cas9. And then if it gets attacked by that virus again, it'll check the virus's DNA against the samples it has in storage, recognize the DNA, and make pieces of RNA to attack the virus right at its DNA!

Cool, huh? Well scientists found about this lil whizzy thing called Cas9 a while ago and were pretty excited, for good reason. With CRISPR, we can not only edit the DNA of creatures that haven't been born yet but also creatures that are very well and living which can pave the way to treatments for genetic diseases!! Plus it's much cheaper than it cost to do genetic stuff the old way!!! (As in, some folks are trying to get laypeople to try out CRISPR on themselves, and their main struggle is with convincing people to do it cause the cost isn't that big of a factor!) We already have GMOs like the Flavr Savr tomato (which takes longer to rot on store shelves thanks to being genetically modified). If CRISPR is safe (which folks are still trying to work on since there's still so much about genetics that scientists don't know and messing with folks' genomes can lead to unintended consequences [also fun fact: the word consequences is used colloquially to mean a bad effect of something, but in stuff like psychology, it just means an effect of something!!]), then it can be super awesome!

I learned about this lil thing back in... I think 2018? I watched a Kurzgesagt video on it a few years ago at least, and I rediscovered the vid during the pandemic while everyone and everything was shut down and there wasn't much to do during the summer other than sit on the couch and watch TV. And like, I LOVED that video when I first watched it?? I watched it multiple times and I even forced (read: persuaded/begged) my parents to watch it too. And I still love hearing about CRISPR and genetic engineering and genetics in general now because of that (and it's impressed at least two important people in my life so I consider it a success!). Like when we touched briefly on CRISPR in my biology class last year, I was SUPER excited in the back of the classroom because it was CRISPR!! One of my childhood interests that has significantly influenced my life!!

So when we had to do a project on new science in my physics class this year (for... reasons), I immediately looked up new stuff going on with CRISPR within the last couple years. AND TURNS OUT! FOLKS HAVE MADE A CRISPR 3.0 NOW! Like I didn't even get to hear about CRISPR 2.0, it was just straight to CRISPR 3.0!! And hopefully CRISPR 3.0 is safer, more effective, and easier to use than the original version of CRISPR.

ALSO! CRISPR IS BEING TRIED OUT TO HELP FAMILIAL HYPERCHOLESTEROLEMIA(high cholesterol risk passed down genetically)!! THAT'S SO COOL!!! AND IT'S BEING TESTED ON PEOPLE NOW! I will literally SCREAM this is so cool!!

So yes! I'm having a fun time, hehe. And I'm writing this instead of actually working on my project, but that's cause it's helping me put together my thoughts! Totally not because I'm just too excited to work on it without being able to gush to someone about it (/sarcasm), lol.

#learning about this has filled me with joy and bliss c:#and I am absolutely starting on this project now even though it's due next Friday what about it?? /lighthearted #me's happyy #I have already told one of my school friends and my mom and my cousin about this and I am making it my #main mission in life to make this everyone's problem HEH #also I hurt my legs writing this #as in I sat crosslegged with one on top of the other (like that yoga pose) for hours writing this and my review of Shadow Shadow #and now my knees are creaky and hurt to unbend #I feel like I should make 'I hurt my legs writing this' a tag just for funsies cause I hurt my legs a lot lol #I'm very tempted >:T #OO also I drew today!! as in I drew humans (which are very hard for me) and they turned out prettyy!#today's just been an all-around good day <3 #kitty's rants #CRISPR #tw capital letters #lots of capital letters #whole capitalized sentences actually

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harrison-abbott · 2 years

Text

CIVILIAN CONCERN

Was walking down the street, up town, in a suit. I didn’t usually wear suits and wondered whether this was obvious or not: kept glancing at my reflection in car windows.

I was on my way to a job interview, and trying not to be overly nervous – keen to get into that Yerkes-Dodson Law thing, you know, the centre of the balance between good nerves and bad. Something like that. Hmm.

That was what I learned of in my university. And, yes, I had a degree. And was one of those probably millions of semi-young people who had gone to university and was then underemployed for years afterwards, and here I was. This time I was hopeful, though. A consultant had gotten in contact with me. The phone call went quirkily. He’d put me in touch with this business who were hiring, and they’d invited me to the interview.

So I was feeling this hopeful zeal. I waited for the green light at the cross roads. And then crossed the street.

And suddenly I felt this plop on my head, and this dribbling down my shirt. It definitely wasn’t rain because it was a sunny morning. I looked up, and there was a seagull, high above, flapping away.

Looked down and there was this streak of its (the bird’s) shit on my shirt. In this mostly white smear, with bits of brown in it.

There were other people on the street. Had they seen it? Apparently not – they just kept walking about. I could feel the gunk in my hair, just above the forehead.

On the far side of the road I looked at my head in another car window’s reflection. “Fuck’s sake,” I said. Then I went into the nearest newsagent and I bought a bottle of water. I couldn’t tell whether the guy at the counter noticed I had birdshit all over me. Back outside, I poured the water on my head. This time, other people were watching.

I had twenty five minutes until I had to be at this building.

I wiped the shit off my shirt with some tissue. Which didn’t help because it just rubbed the colours in, and it smelled and made me gag. Had spent like half an hour last night ironing the fucking thing. Ha. I giggled a little because it was all so ludicrous. My situation.

“You okay, buddy?” this woman asked. She was a normal, smartly dressed woman, a wee bit older than me. Probably doing better than me in life. Civilian concern in her eyes.

“Yeah, well,” I muttered, “I just got shat on by a seagull.”

“Oh. Oh my.”

“Yep. Hasn’t happened to me since I was like ten. On a beach, somewhere.”

“Ah. Bad luck.”

And she walked away from me.

I wasn’t really able to go and buy a new shirt and get changed and prepare for this interview. There was no other option than to just head down to the building, with my wet hair and this stain … emm. Maybe I could take the shirt off? And explain when I got there. They might find it amusing and it may make me seem innocent. Human.

So I took the shirt off (with a T shirt underneath) and approached the workplace.

Was a fancy, snazzy affair, the building. I technically wasn’t wearing a suit anymore, carrying my shirt folded in my arms and worrying whether other people would catch the funk off of it. I went up to the reception. And asked for the person who was supposed to interview me. The receptionist was real pretty. She spoke on the phone. Then gave me directions to go upstairs in the elevator to this room.

The elevator was hot. I was the only one in there and I realised I was sweating.

I got to this other woman’s door and knocked on it. Feeling like a highschoolboy.

A senior woman appeared. By senior I mean that she was in her fifties or sixties; she looked great, with snowwhite hair, and these analytical eyes behind black glasses. Instantly terrifying. I couldn’t suss whether the smile was legitimate. Her handshake was soft and measured, the way only females can shake hands articulately.

“You must have noticed that I’m not wearing a shirt and tie, ma’am,” I said, as we were sitting down at the desk. “I had a bit of an incident on the way here.”

And I went on to tell her about the seagull. She laughed. I blushed. I thought that it’d worked, ironically. That the whole thing would work to my benefit.

“It’s okay, my friend,” she said, “it was not your fault.”

And then she began to ask me interview questions.

I was bristly. Kept blushing. As if I were addicted to the blood in my face. Kept coming back and I couldn’t stow it away. These brittle memories from youth returned. Distorting the present tense, what was happening right now in this room. The volume intensified: the sound of my voice became even tinnier, worse. I hated myself for going red so easily. Wished I could syringe it out and scoosh it out of the window, which doused the room with that daylight sunshine.

“Thanks for coming along today,” she said. “We’ll contact you if we’d like to take your application further.”

Yeah. So as you may gather from that sentence, I didn’t get it. The job. They never called back.

I kinda got that notion as I left the building. And when I was back in the street, I just threw the shirt away, into a common street bin. Then bought some beers in the shop where I’d been earlier, and drank them on the bus back home.

Sometimes you just have to say, fuck it. Doesn’t really matter. Okay so you didn’t get a job. That happens all the time. To most people. But the reason for it usually isn’t that you got shat on by a seagull half an hour before the interview. Meh. Everybody I tell this too just chuckles.

I’m still a civilian as well.

#prose #short stories #fiction

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antics-pedantic · 2 years

Text

MUTANT MEDIA CLUB #3: SWORD & SORE SIREE

In the uppermost offices of the New York based Triumph Pictures film studio, someone was toiling away at a keyboard. Crunching away at one of those calculators with a large, fresh roll of receipt-paper. It was none other than a roughly four-foot-tall beetle in a white dress shirt and snazzy tie. This was the mutant known to many as King Atlas, the master of accounting and other office drudgery.

Now, King Atlas’s mutation wasn’t that he was a beetle. Far from it, as he came from a society of insectoids that lived underground. Rather, King Atlas’s mutation was that he could do accounting work. The sheer aptitude he demonstrated for the task was beyond the ken of any mortal. Even robots optimized for acceleration and mutants who fancied being fast could at times find themselves outpaced by Atlas, because he set about his work with such an unnerving certainty. And the most terrifying thing was that one could only get him to take vacations if he accumulated too many holiday hours and had to adhere to the rules. Absolutely no one in the office could keep up with his pace, and supervisors were advised not to compare employees to him too often, or else they would experience such a burnout that it would bring about spontaneous combustion—coupled with the single-most extreme charges of arson in the city.

“Yer majesty.” sobbed one of the managers at this level, hanging off of the doorway. He had tried to break King Atlas’s spirit, but found no such thing was possible, at least through assigning work. “D-Don’t you wanna go home? Maybe watch some… some TV?”

“A SMASHING idea, chap!” laughed King Atlas. He had the lilt of royalty to his voice from much practice and a penchant for grandeur. And he also had a portable television set under his desk, which he set up and began dialing through between bursts of completing various work by the droves. It was in that moment that King Atlas’s long-suffering management had devised a scheme to derive some comedy from the little pest.

“Guess you’ll miss it when us work buddies head down and grab a few beers while we go over marketing plans for the Hornswoggle franchise, eh K.A.?”

King Atlas perked up his beetle horns at that.

“Work buddies? You mean there’s a group? About to indulge in libations upon the colloquial quitting time?!”

“Uh—yeah, sure! And we’d love to have you along.”

And thus, the squad of management had dragged King Atlas off from his spot and down to the nearest shop on the street to purchase some. There was absolutely nothing stopping King Atlas, as the corner store was fully stocked with a plethora of options, his wallet was full of unspent cash, and the managerial squadron was blocking the exit.

“MEAD! AND GROG!”

Suddenly, there was a siege in the backroom of the bodega. In the sense that it was an actual medieval-themed siege conducted by incredibly dedicated LARPers: The faction many knew as the Sewer Doers!

Predictably, King Atlas was knocked unconscious and abandoned by the managers from Triumph Pictures. But in his opinion, the worst thing he realized was that most of the inventory of that humble bodega had been carted off into the sewers. Which then raised a more personal concern: His drinking buddies were without their ill-intentioned alcohol!

And then a person in absolutely ordinary clothing but sporting the head of a fish waltzed right in. They looked rather tired, and slapped some money on the counter in order to get a freshly brewed coffee and some specialty beef jerky made at some farm over in New Jersey. From the sleeve of their jacket extended a fishing line and hook. Which earned them their simple, but effective moniker: Fish Hook.

“OOOHHH HOOHOOHOOHOOHOOHOO. OOOOOOOOOO!!!--”

King Atlas wailed and wept profoundly like a monarch deposed by his subjects, yet left alive to live with the shame of his equally astounding scale of failures. Although he had some notion that he would never be 100% friends with all his co-workers, let alone the managers, he mourned the social enrichment he would have acquired from standing around sharing inebriating liquids together. Cracking open a proverbial cold one with the proverbial boys.

Fish Hook bought some over-the-counter pain meds before turning to address King Atlas. They deeply regretted showing up now at the worst possible time between the insectoid’s cries and the fact their favorite corner store had been ransacked by people who re-enacted the feudal system in underground tunnels.

“Stop freakin’ crying all over the place.” said Fish Hook. “You’re going to flood the building. No one likes soggy loaves of bread or potato chips that look like they were pulled from the ocean.”

“Ohhh, but I’ll never be able to retain the goods on my own, fair street tough!” sobbed King Atlas. “Won’t you help me?”

Just as Fish Hook was about to conclude the conversation, King Atlas took out a checkbook and wrote down a sum with many zeroes on it. That changed their outlook on the entire situation completely and the two shook hands to cement the deal. King Atlas of course attempted to do some kind of multi-step handshake that Fish Hook just disregarded. They had to go meet someone.

Before the two immediately made for the sewers, they went to a shopping area below street level. Down a flight of alleyway stairs, nestled between the city buildings. There, they entered a popular fantasy-themed tavern. It was a spot for LARPers, but also it was now a spot for the Sewer Doers who were also LARPers, except they hurt people for real. Inside, a bard was playing at a lute made of recycled materials yet to be painted and sculped over into a full-fledged stylized fantasy instrument. On the sidelines people were playing card games they made up for worldbuilding purposes. Some dude was even trapping smoke into glass orbs using magic or something, because the Sewer Doers knew a few tricks like that. It baffled everyone considering the larger setting had long since moved onto low budget super-science.

In any case, they sat down in a shadowy booth filled with fog. Inside, a mutant spider lady wearing leather armor as befitting a rogue was sipping at her grog and mead.

“Zinda.” said Fish Hook, solemnly.

“Fishy…. You’re looking better these days.” said Zinda the mutant spider lady. “What brings you out to the Crusted Tankard? Couldn’t just be reminiscing on what we used to be. You said it yourself: You’re not going to be the sentimental type about it.”

“Ooooh!” hummed King Atlas. “Doth I detect some juicy drama?!”

“Shut up, man!” spat Fish Hook, before turning back to face Zinda. “We need a way into the underground territories. Safely and quietly. Retrieve something, and haul ass immediately afterwards.”

Zinda’s mandibles chittered.

“I can’t guarantee your safety once you’re down there.”

“An entry point is enough.”

“We’ll do a little critter skitter right on by anyone down there—” chuckled King Atlas, with a “nyeaugh-hoho!”

Zinda got up, and led the two into the back of the tavern, past the kitchens and bathrooms, and towards a hidden room with an ornately designed hatch. They climbed down a ladder and into the tunnels, which intersected with the greater New York City sewer system. Torch sconces were set up at points, which Fish Hook took care to put out using some water balloons they carried on-hand.

“Stay close, bug guy.” Said Fish Hook. “There’s no telling who or what we’ll run into down here.”

“You mean like that?”

Fish Hook whipped their head around to see what King Atlas was referring to. If the aquatic-faced street tough could recognize the danger ahead in the form of someone with a cephalopod head.

“Who the hell are you?!” demanded Fish Hook.

“I’m the mind-flayer.” wheezed cephalopod-head. “I saw you after you put out the torches, all with my 60ft Darkvision.”

“Oh shit, like C&C (‘Catacombs & Critters’)?” said Fish Hook.

“Yaeh. But I’m like, an avant garde mind-flayer.”

The auteur Illithid activated his psionic powers, firing a familiar mind blast. Only this one was a bit more conceptual in nature, with visuals akin to that of someone’s first experimental film.

“AaaaAAAAUGH!” shouted Fish Hook. “—Striking visuals though.”

“Really?! Oh, thank you so much. I thought maybe opening with the fisheye lens would be too much.”

“Look at me and say I’d disagree with a fish anything.”

But then suddenly, King Atlas approached. The mind-flayer began to recoil.

“No… What are you doing to my vision!?” cried the avant garde mind-flayer.

“I’m ORGANIZING your thoughts! They’re so scattered and all over the place! But with a little touching up, it can be SORTED and FILED! HEEEEHAHAHA!” said King Atlas in his sing-song voice. His accounting mutation was doing the dread work desired by corporate: turning uniquely crafted work into streamlined productions that were easier to market. A box office breaking formula was applied, one he was exposed to countless times by being in the Triumph offices. Camera angles were reduced to blander, repetitive wide shots. Color grading was near to non-existent, the lighting no longer seemed to manipulate shadows and visibility to set the scene. And the script read like predictive A.I. came up with most of the exchange, with a few human touches in the form of unnecessary jokes.

The Illithid was so heartbroken, he just ran off crying. As he did, he dropped a map of the local tunnel system. It was a copy of a municipal fax document, but with scraps of parchment taped over to mention the various LARP installments set up by the sewer doers.

“That’s one way to make some progress.” said Fish Hook. “C’mon. There’s a… a ‘keep’ where one of the kingdoms stores their prizes. That’s gotta be where the booze is.”

Resuming their quest, Fish Hook would lead the way to the keep. It was a small fort built of mostly plywood and sturdy discarded refuse that could hold against a fair amount of damage. Some of it was even painted over with simple medieval design, giving it a quality not unlike Halloween decorations. But it was the best they could muster, it served its purpose, and the Sewer Doers were pleased with what they put together for the most part.

And then Fish Hook proceeded to smash right through one of those plywood walls, grabbing one of the guards within and hefting them overhead to throw at the other over-the-top LARP warriors. Someone with a bow and arrows was quick to fire— including a violin bowstick and a yardstick whizzing past the street tough. Fish Hook responded promptly by throwing out their fishing line, catching the hook on the bowstring and causing the archer’s next shot (in the form of a toilet plunger) to bounce back into their own face, stuck there as they were deprived of oxygen. The archer would fall unconscious shortly thereafter.

“You think you’re so tough…”

Just then, a fellow with a fake beard brandishing an authentic replica of a goblin club came in, eyeing Fish Hook’s kneecaps. Judging by the heft and sculpt of that club, it was probably going to result in lasting damage if it made an impact. They tried to use their fishing line and hook to disarm the attacker, but not all the dwarves in the deepest caverns could force this dwarf-poser’s strong arm.

“Yeah. Now I’m in control of the situation. I’m the Ace-Of-Clubs.”

The fake-bearded fellow— a jestermaster known as Ace-Of-Clubs kept his eyes on Fish Hook, resting the club on one shoulder so he could free up a hand to stroke his false whiskers. It was in that moment that Fish Hook noticed a large crate labeled ‘SURPLUS CODPIECES’ and threw their fishing line at it, catching the hook and throwing the crate at Ace-Of-Clubs with all the force they could muster. The crate was met with a swing of the goblin club, smashing it to splinters. Ace-Of-Clubs looked around for Fish Hook, only for the street tough to pull Ace-Of-Clubs into a stranglehold!

“Shhh… Shhh…” whispered Fish Hook. “Don’t piss your pants going into that sweet good night…”

Nearby, King Atlas had started to dance among the fallen bodies, juxtaposed by Fish Hook’s strenuous effort to put down the jestermaster. At last, the path to the treasure chest where the six-pack of beer had been cleared. Of course there was still one final problem: There was an extra identical chest.

“Come on out, you little shit.” said Fish Hook to no one in particular. There was silence, but King Atlas did not question it. Not out loud at least: He didn’t completely understand why Fish Hook was acting like this.

“You got any matches, K.A.?”

“No, but I DIIIIID find some flint!”

“That’ll do, beetle guy. That’ll do.”

Grabbing some leftover plywood planks, Fish Hook threw some behind both treasure chests, nodding to let King Atlas know he could strike the firestarter stones. As the fire took shape on the planks, one of the chests suddenly flew into the ceiling with a harsh *WHAM!* and a big slam on the ground. Before turning to open, and revealing a large set of sharp teeth!

“I ain’t losin’ my position with these dweebs!” howled the mimic “It’s either this or I get typecasted in every movie gig as background prop #6!”

And with a great toss, Fish Hook threw a flaming plank into the mimic’s mouth, knocking them back and causing them to cough up brimstone in a round of pathetic defeat wheezing. Putting out the fire behind the real treasure chest, Fish Hook and King Atlas took the six-pack and made for the entrance they used to enter the sewers.

“I must thank you again, my friend! This has been a most droll day.”

“What?! Boring?!” said Fish Hook.

“No no, droll, not dull! I found it exciting.”

Fish Hook breathed a sigh of relief. The word ‘droll’ always sounded weird to them.

“Now that I’ve acquired the libations, my fellows will be able to brainstorm a marketing scheme for Hornswoggle 3!”

“Hornswoggle 3?!” gasped Fish Hook. “I hated the first two films! Why are they making a third one?!”

“And a fourth and a fifth, NYEEHAHAHA! Box office sales on the second one were THROOOOUUUGH the roof. It was a sign, they said! A SIGN!!”

“Wait! That completely sucks! You can’t let them—”

But before Fish Hook could reach out to try and grab King Atlas, he had accidentally slammed the trapdoor into the sewers shut in Fish Hook’s face. They lost their grip on the ladder and fell back down to the sewer. Trying not to lose consciousness. But they did—just as the door creaked open slowly.

When Fish Hook regained consciousness, they felt miserably groggy. And they were cocooned in a mass of webbing! That had to mean one thing: This was Zinda’s doing. Without wasting a moment, Fish Hook used their namesake implement to gradually cut a small hole in the webbing, enough that they could throw a line out. Skeletons lay on the floor and stuck to the walls by webs, and one was holding a particularly impressive replica cutlass, the likes of which Fish Hook could use to cut themselves free and demand directions to the exit.

Most of that was accurate. Fish Hook did manage to use the sword to cut themselves free, if awkwardly. And Zinda had just unlocked the front door, holding brown paper bags full of groceries, which she had to set aside on a spackled kitchen counter before addressing Fish Hook. Zinda wasn’t dressed up at all in fantasy regalia at the moment, uncharacteristic of a sewer doer.

“You’re doing it again.”

“Doing what? I’m gonna start swashbuckling my way out of here. You called the cavalry… because I broke free of your webs before you could eat my brain.”

Zinda had to admit, that was something she did to people. But not to Fish Hook. Never to Fish Hook, not unless a rage unlike anything she’d ever known had taken her.

“There’s none to be found F.H., I didn’t call for anyone. I just saw you fell off the ladder and brought you in. My sofa is filthy from a party recently, so I put you up into my webs for the time being.”

“Then… why?” asked Fish Hook.

“You said you wouldn’t be the sentimental type. I never promised anything like that. Do you remember when we broke up?”

“Yeah, we saw Hornswoggle 2: Born to Swoggle.”

“Instead of what I wanted to watch. You just couldn’t believe there was another Hornswoggle film so you insisted on seeing it.”

“And then we broke up after. I know. That movie sucked.”

Zinda chittered.

“It wasn’t the movie, Fish Hook. Well actually, it certainly didn’t help. But I think for a while it just wasn’t working out, y’know? I was weaving fantasies with my friends and you… you were always on the clock, even when you got home. It was killing you Fish Hook. It’s still killing you.”

Fish Hook dropped the sword. Zinda scuttled over to place them back in the web, producing webs carefully so as to support the injured parts of Fish Hook’s body. But Fish Hook stopped her.

“I can’t stay. I have to go back and stop those knobs Atlas is with.”

Zinda sighed. She tore off some of the webbing, leaving a sling for one of Fish Hook’s arms, and a cast for their leg. She may have reacted too strongly on determining the severity of the damage, but she couldn’t help herself.

“Give it twenty minutes to heal a little more. But you really shouldn’t overdo it, Fish Hook.”

Fish Hook just rolled their eyes.

“Thanks, Zinda.”

With an encouraging pat on the back, Fish Hook was helped outside.

“I guess there’s no stopping you. But if you can stop Hornswoggle 3, well… go get ‘em.”

“—And then, and THEN we’ll have the guy go back his high school reunion for a scene so he can unzip his pants, and then WHAM! Right into the punch bowl. No rhyme or reason, it’ll be HIIIIIILARIOUS!”

“AND, AND—” sputtered another executive, pointing both fingers wildly. “We gotta have a subplot, right? Like. There’s gotta be a PART where the guy… runs into a girl. Buh-but NOT the main girl, like just some random one who HAAAAPPENS, to be a big fan of our product sponsor—maybe wowee bread or that fabric softener the laundry people kept talking about at the conference yesterday, and the temptation between them is there. But not if she doesn’t have the product.”

The others just stared at their fellow executive, before someone started writing things down on napkins, and pointing to the exec with a highly specific intensity towards product placement and its involvement in on-screen relationships. They all sat at a bar directly next to the living room of the penthouse suite.

“I love your energy. Love it. We could pick up on that in the next movie if our leading lady and her lawyer find a way out of the contract. What else?”

“Ooh! I have an idea. What say you if the guy were to break out of the sheriff’s jail cell—” King Atlas started to say. He was forced to sit in the corner with his can of beer.

“Shut up, ya pest!” said another executive, wearing a tie as a headband, and inhaling large quantities of various powders he found strewn around the penthouse suite, hoping to eventually find his co-worker’s secret supply of drugs.

“Wait, I got it!” said tie-headband. “What if he breaks out of the sheriff’s jail? AND we could work in a bit about social media in there. We gotta get like thirteen of ‘em all over the movie, show everybody we’re hip!”

Suddenly, the doorbell rang.

“Must be those large pizzas. Me first!”

One of the executives hurried over to check using the peephole. There was someone out there alright.

“What an ugly sucker!” snorted the executive, opening the door. “Pizza time!”

But upon being handed the pizza box, the executive found it was packed with a cement sidewalk tile, and dropped it on his own feet. And then the deliveryperson put on a rubber-latex Halloween mask: it was Fish Hook. They weren’t a mutant at all! They just really really liked fishing to the point they made it their whole gimmick.

And then with a mighty toss, Fish Hook lobbed an iron coat hanger at the product placement executive, catching him by the nose with the hanger hook and pulling him into a tall potted cactus nearby. Two scrambled onto their feet, trying to head upstairs to get to a helicopter. Naturally, Fish Hook gave chase at a slower pace—mostly so they could lash out at the executives still lazing about the room. Some guy charging at Fish Hook with a barstool had a bottle of rum shattered on his head. A lady trying to toss her weighted kettlebell purse was hit by a t-shirt cannon that Fish Hook pulled out of a display case, launching a garment advertising the unwanted prequel to a story that had its share of mysteries to ponder over. A few more instances of offbeat violence and they were headed up to the roof where the private helicopter was. The last couple of executives were on it. One was in the pilot’s seat, the other had drawn a flare gun to point at Fish Hook.

“Couldn’t even spring for a real gun, huh?” said Fish Hook, taunting the exec.

“From where I’m standing it’ll do the trick just fine, you largemouth basshole.” said the passenger executive. “So long, sucker!”

The flare gun fired, and soon its flames would torch Fish Hook if the shot connected with them. Fish Hook quickly pulled out a small, one-handed wield aluminum baseball bat that was easy to conceal in their pants, using it to swat away the flare just barely. The rotor blades of the helicopter began to spin as they ascended. Fish Hook tossed their fishing line and hook out to try and catch the copter by its landing skids.

“Ha! You MISSED!” shouted the pilot executive over the built-in megaphone.

But Fish Hook wasn’t aiming at them.

The two executives turned their heads to see that Fish Hook had pulled up a building window-washer. Exerting all the strength at their command—aided by the tensile durability of the fishing line’s sturdy fibers, the hired muscle in the aquatic animal mask tossed the window-washer onto the front of the helicopter, where they clung on.

“Live…” chanted the window-washer. “In DARKNESS!”

And then the window-washer proceeded to activate some sort of reverse function on his cleaning squeegee. When he dragged it across the windshield of the helicopter, the squeegee added on a thick muck instead of cleaning it off. With the pilot executive unable to fly properly, he spun the helicopter out of control, and into a billboard that still advertised for Hornswoggle 2: Born to Swoggle.

On the way back down, Fish Hook went over to the corner where King Atlas had fallen asleep. In a gentler sort of way than his cohorts: Filled with disappointment, dispersing it from his psyche with lofty dreams. Taking the insectoid into one arm and resting his head on their shoulder, they walked out. The other hand still tightly grasping onto the small aluminum bat.

Hornswoggle 3 was in development hell. It was a victory: Not one that would give King Atlas the acclaim he wanted, and it certainly wouldn’t repair Fish Hook’s latest doomed relationship. But it was something worth walking off into the sunset over, as far as Fish Hook was concerned. Enough to want to start over again the next day.

#Web Fiction #Mutant Media Club #MMC 3

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