#The parents are called Hat Thing and Pinocchio

[1218-814]

Trey Clover, the Ordinary man: Analysis and Theories

So as many of yall know, or ppl that remember me, I did not like Trey. However, after 2 years of my disappearance, I can confidently say that I TOLERATE him.

So just fyi. I have the hate a little inside. I think if someone says they dislike Trey they are justified and this is why (they don't have evidence, but I do)

THIS IS JUST MY OPINION AND ANALYSIS FOR MYSELF

Favorite Food: Violets preserved in sugar

Roses, violets, and sugar all come from a simple poem.

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Sugar is sweet

So are you

There was humpty dumpty and a lot of poems in the original book, so I think this has a high chance this came from here.

Least Favorite Food: Mustard

Trey, having the Mad Hatter as a sub-base from his hat and cake, I think it has some thing to do with the Mad Hatter. There's a scene where he was painting the clock, and the ingredient he disliked most to use was mustard.

Parents run a cake shop

The Mad Hatter was a sweet tooth. However, Trey's favorite food is quite expensive; I think his home is a high-end sweets shop.

Bad at singing

In chapter 7 of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" there's this song the mad hatter sang called "Twinkle Twinkle, Little Bat". It apparently sounded so bad that the Queen of Hearts called it "time killer".

Brushing his teeth

As I said in one of my other theory, Trey is the type to lie and not feel guilt. Teeth are originally "white things” and lies are “things that come out of the mouth”, Trey may like to “reveal a lie as a lie”(a joke).

Personality:

Doesn't like Riddle or is hiding something from him, judging his lies and Lab Coat PS.

Deuce and him are the cards that represent "Night", so I think that's one of the reason why he was in the Star Gazer event.

He also is the Jiminy Cricket from "Pinocchio", which is the other reason for the star event.

Oyster sauce goes well with spicy ramen (Cater).

His nature is probably really salty (Oyster sauce)

Unique Magic:

He's painting the lie with Riddle, Which I assume is one of the reasons why Riddle's icon is a completely red rose.

He dislikes his work being crumbled in a short amount of time (I don't think he likes using his unique magic on his cakes)

Chevalier of Rose (Rook)

His position in the op is the knight piece in chess

Relationship with Riddle and his mom

Riddle has an obsession with strawberry tarts; in his back story his mother called it 'a glob of sugar', but Riddle called it as 'big red strawberries'.

Strawberries symbolize perfect goodness, and a happy household.

Riddle probably wanted the love, but his mother took it in a different way. Trey likes violets, which I hear has a sour taste, like his personality.

Strawberries and violets are similar in a way... The sugar coating.

The nappage (The glaze on tarts), what I assume, is something on top of the true love.

Riddle's mom does give him love, but it's twisted, and Trey can't tell his feelings to him, like the violet (hides his true thoughts)

Love has different forms/types.

Like strawberries, in Trey's Lab Coat was about strawberries, his love (friendship) is a naturally sour berry and he won't name it (or he can't)

Riddle doesn't know the difference between the tarts (=love), and in Epel's PS he said that he was alone on Halloween.

Judging his personality, he tells this so he won't break down of sadness and pain; Trey understands this and he's scared of 'special love' and prefers a normal love.

Also, he seems like Riddle now=grave for old Riddle... (Is this why you listen to someone you could probably beat?)

Riddle needs someone who wouldn't lie, someone who would stand beside him (brains and power) to give him love, strawberries that aren't sugar coated.

Floyd buys the tart (love) and he even trades the red stone for notes in another story.

I think he'll be important in the future of Riddle.

~~~Warning for my reason of distaste for Trey Clover~~~

In the first arc I feel like he was doing "a childhood friend who thinks of Riddle" act coolly, but I think it should be that he thought, "I have the highest liking for Riddle."

This leads me to think...

Unpopular Opinion, Trey is a psychopath/sociopath or does not really like current Riddle. Let me explain from the ceremonial cards:

Apparently, he doesn't hide his true feelings thinking of Riddle as “A tyrant that uses his dorm and his vice dorm leader very roughly” (Trey’s gym uniform and Jade’s ceremonial robes)

Only Trey, I get the weird feelings. I don’t think he’ll stand up for Riddle if we say “I hate Riddle” and talk about him behind Riddle’s back, Trey seems like he would laugh it off. Because, Trey got angry because of “I’m tired of the same cake Trey makes”, that’s insulting to Trey.

Riddle was like “Welp okay” but trey was like “Haha...”, and will purposely set up things like this and continue it for a long time. (I would still eat it though)

There are some aspects of the Heartslabyul dormitory and Riddle that can't be helped, but there’s too many secrets they are hiding from Riddle.

Trey does try to help Jade (ceremonial robes, Jade), but he doesn’t help Jamil (Trey’s ceremonial robes)... Maybe it’s because there’s the danger of Riddle exploding (not literally)and he didn’t see Jamil needing help.

Trey, and Riddle too, I get the impression of “I’m not interested in others”

Cater mixes well with him because he has this “sad boy hours, secretly” personality. I can’t see Trey willingly letting others in his heart. 

I just get this "a subordinate who is swayed by a selfish boss" vibe from him. I think he’s unconsciously trying to “help” his dorm by overlapping him with Riddle.

He’s basically talking about himself and not looking at the person, and that’s what Kalim was talking about.

Trey is the “big bro that we can count on”, but he isn’t like Riddle or Azul who likes “being counted on”. Every other vice dorm leader are actively trying to help out with emotional baggage but Trey’s in the “waiting position”

He knows he will be relied on or like “I’m the only person you can rely on so, I’ll just listen to it”? He has this very good passive care? It’s not like he has a good relationship, more like taking care of the relation ship. He’s like “if you don't eat your tomato's your parents are going to be a problem so just please eat them”, which is what I think his thought are usually.

Perhaps Trey taking care of others is neutral, he doesn’t hate it or love it. Maybe he’s like that with him? I feel like he’s looking for someone or an accomplice, like Cater, to share his problems with. 

I saw that possibility in Jade, but he doesn’t fully strike me as that kind.

Perhaps Jamil has a honest straight heart and he decides that Trey is “not the type he wants to be an accomplice.” It seems that he was trying to look in deeper because of Jade’s gut feelings.

Perhaps Riddle failed the strawberry tart joke, which Trey was the one who made the joke maliciously with the oyster sauce, has something meaningful...

Ace also defines the relationship between tray and riddle as "spoiled". This is probably the same for Riddle’s tart.

This tart, which is too salty with oyster sauce, is said to be "delicious" only by Cater, who “hates sweets and can be said to be an accomplice to the tray that hides it."

Isn't this salty strawberry tart a metaphor for Tray's personality? After all, Riddle doesn't seem to be talking to the end.

Probably there is a foreshadowing side of the second part of the Heartslyaul arc; including the tea party at the end of this, and the appearance of Chen’ya, and there is a hint that Riddle will face the nature of Trey (the salty tart) but at the end we can laugh at each other. I wonder what it would be (HHhhmMMMMmm CATER??? )

It's understandable, looks and acts sweet but salty on the inside. Trey seems like he makes an oyster sauce joke, probably only to someone who brings up his specialty, cake making, and makes it aware only then about his “salty nature”.

Jade and Rook have never talked to him about sweets, so they probably misread his true nature.

He probably thinks of the dorm as his “kitchen and dining table.” he doesn’t care who sits and dines, but he doesn’t want a miss. Like he’s the mom like “oh? your tired of the cake? Them make on or self”

From Riddle's remarks, this is the only clue to "Trey before Riddle's mother gets entangled and distorted with him", so maybe the "Oyster sauce joke" is Trey's fraternity and his playful nature.

He looks like a sincere man, but in reality, lying is like a reversal phenomenon that he is.

Perhaps "the present where I can't joke to Riddle" is more unusual for Trey. That’s why Jade and Rook were surprised at the “"Well, isn't strawberry a love for Riddle?" (platonically); it's because they aren’t as close enough to know the “oyster sauce”. He might want to give Riddle the sauce too.

Perhaps it's spicy ramen (in a soup stock way), or Cater, that goes well with oyster sauce, and neither cake nor oyster sauce is entwined with liver pate or carpaccio. (Jade and Rook)

That's why the two observers overlooked this whole thing.

Vil and Trey are probably the closest, and Vil does notice the suspicion. Maybe Trey is in NRC, and not RSA because deep down he is a liar? 

A lie is also handy, but in general, it is hard to say that it is a "good" background. Maybe this is why Trey is so scared. By the pressure of Riddle that it can't be restored to the old relationship that they once had; he thinks “Riddle would decapitate me if I say a joke about the oyster sauce. (his true self)"

It's subtle whether Riddle isn't complimenting/appreciating Trey properly or is running away and not listening properly, but I feel like the latter.

Jade and Rook judge the strawberry tart from the outside, but it's actually salty with oyster sauce, Ace and Deuce scream and Cater says it's delicious. Riddle, who noticed that he was deceived, accepts it and can laugh, and maybe Trey’s wish or the friendship can be repaired if he notices Riddle's window of forgiveness. 

Considering that teeth are originally "white things" and lies are "things that come out of the mouth", Trey may like to "reveal a lie as a lie".(a joke) and mashes up well with Vil.

From the fact that Trey’s unique magic is “doodle”; the lie that turns white roses into red, the joke of oyster sauce, and the liar skill of the person himself, it is as if "I am a mischievous liar". It is thought that it is. What if Kalim’s power is water based, what if the metaphor is being washed away?

In the SSR, the first-year students who tease the cake Trey makes, encounter a lot of trouble, but the Trey does nothing on purpose to make them fail.

However, just before Riddle goes off, he shows off his whole cake, saying, "I wondered if that might happen!". This is truly Trey like and the performance he made was just to create a laugh. He's not just “a boy who cried wolf”, he just likes "laughing lies and moments of revealing." Therefore, it is trusted by the surroundings.

Then, the meaning of marron tart in Heartslabyul arc will change. Marron tart is a "vanity with a sweet amount" and is not a cake suitable for sourness and decoration fruit like strawberries. Perhaps Trey's lie will fail in the future, in conflict with Riddle's ethics. Even if Riddle himself wanted it to...

I thought it was strange. Why did Trey who loves "peace" make first graders make marron tart instead of strawberry tart, that was safe? This is a "notice to the second part", which expresses the "spoiled-sweetness" of Trey in the form of a maroon tart. This is "the end of childhood".

Strawberry tart is a taste for adolescents  due to a mixture of sweetness and sourness, but the sweet marron tart without sourness will prepare a spoiled = comfortable lie for "small children"(Riddle) I wonder what that is though... Apparently, the current Trey has “Riddle=Tyrant=very troublesome” idea. However, the actual Riddle has already graduated from “childhood” and is already in “adolescence”. Maybe he will take off his glasses when Trey faces "current Riddle"

Perhaps this is a state in which “liar achievements (the blot) continue to accumulate now that lies cannot be revealed as lies". Maybe Trey thought Riddles mother “repainted” as an “angry tyrant”. Unless Trey himself reveals the lie, he will keep “painting” the lie... Which does explain why his coffin icon is a fully red rose.

The combination of the idiom "red lie" (in Japanese) and "let's paint the roses red" creates a character as if this "liar Trey" was assembled. Cater welcomes lies and sincerity as long as it "shines in magicam", so he is happy to accept the revealing of Trey. So this is the reason why the two can be paired with duo magic.

I'm sure Trey is the type that wants you to silently eat a salty cake and say “Wow this- I- hahaha” rather than a sweet pleasant cake. 

I don't know what spicy things represent, but Jamil, who has lived as a "little adult", likes spiciness and dislikes sweetness (dates) like Cater, so maybe "I don't know how to spoil it because I have never been spoiled as a child." I think it's a distortion of their communication methods. 

Also, the food that Ace dislikes is "raw oysters", so if you think about it in connection with the story of the walrus who monopolized the oysters and the lie of Oyster sauce equals Trey, does it mean "I hate hypocrisy and liars"?

When Jade, who would be the polar opposite, said to Trey that he misunderstood him as the type that “wants Riddle to eat home-made dishes with lots of love”, maybe it’s because he is the type to do that with his mushrooms (Jade be a little more grateful that it lasted two weeks with Floyd please-). So that got me thinking...

If I re-judge them it looks like Trey is “looks loving/affectionate, but thinks Riddle as a ‘troublesome dorm leader’ he has to work for’ and Jade is ‘Looks like he gives not a lot of love, but in actuality, he cares about Floyd and Azul and feeds them mushrooms and likes watching them enjoy eating. (or at least that’s how I views them)’

Now if I re-think my judgement and group the vice-dorm leaders, there's two groups:

“Dang it-Don’t do anything extra, dorm leader.” type- which is Jamil and Trey. (maybe Ruggie)

“Look at my dorm leader!! I’m so proud of him!!!(?)” type- which is I assume Rook and Jade (And Ortho? and Lilia)

Looking back on Jade, he didn’t really become very sad from Azul’s and Floyd’s complaints about eating mushrooms, he looks like he just enjoys the “process of giving love” to his mushrooms/friends, and...That's some heavy love right there …( I don’t think you would admit it as ‘love’ Jade but... You’re not doing so you can get anything back... )

I did some looking back on the vice dorms’ lines, and Trey made me think. Does his praise towards Riddle mean anything to Trey himself? 

Jamil did try to talk to Trey and he just kinda ignored Jamil because, from his point of view, he may have seen it as “Kalim is okay, he has no problems and they look like friends”, but on the contrary, Jade, he probably thought they were the “same kind” because he thinks that Azul is like Riddle, one who causes problems, “made him the vice dorm leader because he had to”. 

Jade, on the other hand, thought that Azul and Riddle were both interesting, so he thought that Trey “loves Riddle with genuine affection” (In a friendship way )

Yes, we did see the ‘I don’t really like you.’ with Jamil and Kalim, but what happens if Riddle noticed..? (I would either laugh or cry tbh)

I am more concerned with Riddle overblotting again because of their relationship. Like, Trey didn’t even bother to take off his hat and was super calm about the blot. While Jade, who actually cares and worries, took off his hat during the overblot times.

....

If Trey does turn out to be very suspicious, in a theory, then so will Idia and Lilia...

Also, another thing, Riddle can’t really get Floyd to stop bothering him because he would use “Bind the Heart” on him

~~~

The last part was a mess but this is also from 2 years ago lmao

Anyways, Heartslyabuyl is a metaphor.

Like dead ass, EVERYTHING is a metaphor to me

#trey clover #twst #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland theory #twisted wonderland analysis

[iamapoopmuffin]

Just a mum, a dad and their troublesome toddler who refuses to stand still and take a nice photo.

#This is my neurotic Morgrem who's afraid of almost all my other mons #He's a father now #morgrem #hattrem #hattena #Who let the personification of a panic attack have a daughter? #Well...I did #pokemon #pokemon swsh #pokemon shield #pokemon sword and shield #Little Birthday there is having the time of her life at least #She also threw a tantrum when her dad beat her in a race lol #family portrait #The parents are called Hat Thing and Pinocchio

[whattodowithace]

The Weight Of Lies (Byeongkwan)

Title: The Weight Of Lies

Pairing: Byeongkwan x Reader

Genre: Fluff; (In Ju's words) Spicy

Word Count: 3,043 Words

Writer: Whattodowithkpop [Lio]

Summary: Much like the adored story of Pinocchio, Byeongkwan has a tell for when he lies. After receiving an interesting gift from his aunt, whenever he lies, a peculiar anomaly occurs with this gift...

*****

Little, dark headed Byeongkwan runs through the house as soon as he sees the familiar car park in the driveway. This familiar car belonged to someone he hadn't seen in a long while, making his excitement go through the roof.  He runs through the house, finding his parents in the kitchen where they sat enjoying each other's company. He uses his limited vocabulary and animated finger pointing and arm pulling to draw their attention to the driveway. The person he was waiting for had yet to hear the boy speak, making Byeongkwan that more anxious to showcase his development. His parents watch as the young boy fidgets at the door, waiting for the familiar figure to enter the home. The door creaks open, revealing a tall, slender figure, hair down to her waist and dressed to the nines. She looks down, seeing the boy with bright shinning eyes staring up at her with amusement.

"What do we have here?" The woman's low voice travels through the house, making Byeongkwan squeal.

He runs up to the tall figure, wrapping his arms around her legs as his bright eyes look up at her.

"I hear from a little birdie that someone has some things to say."

"It's me!" Byeongkwan giggles as the woman leans down, bringing him into a full hug.

"He has been waiting to see you since he spoke his first words." Byeongkwan's mom speaks up, stepping forward to hug the woman as the two laugh.

"I'm sorry to keep him waiting." The woman winks at Byeongkwan. "How are you doin' sis?"

"We're doing good." Byeongkwan's mom smiles as her husband comes up behind her, resting his hands on her shoulders.

There is a tug on the woman's clothing, a light doe eyed Byeongkwan catching her attention and looking up at her with anticipation.

"I promise I didn't forget." Byeongkwan's aunt leans down with a laugh, coming face to face with her nephew as she lays her purse on the ground.

Her fingers dig through its contents, offering Byeongkwan many facial expressions to make him laugh. She pulls out an orange box, handing it to the small boy who takes it with much gratitude. His eyes sparkle as he opens the box, pulling out the item that rested inside. The sterling silver twinkled in the florescent lights that brightened the room, the singular chain clasped together deeming it a bracelet.

"It doesn't much fit you now." His aunt explains as she takes the chain from his small hands, clipping it into a circle. "But when it does, it will be very useful to you." 

At the time Byeongkwan didn't comprehend her words, nor did he get the chance to ask her for her full meaning. However, it felt natural for him to wear the bracelet once he got old enough. It still dangled on his wrist the first time he put it on for kindergarten, due to the lankiness of his still small wrists. This small setback didn't stop him from wearing it as much as possible.

His aunt had passed away a year after giving him the bracelet. She was a scientist, one that accomplished many things. Unfortunately, because of this, she was sought after by many people, good and bad. Her death records as an accident, the suspicious case undergoing no investigation left the family feeling uneasy about the true nature of her death. Byeongkwan doesn't remember much about his aunt, however he does remember loving and her visits. Even though he couldn't remember much about her, him wearing the bracelet made him feel close to her in some way. That's why he took special care to wear it always.

It was an eye catching gift, piquing the interest of many other students. One that was particularly interested in the silver chain was a little girl. She would stare at it as it dangled off Byeongkwan's wrist, her eyes shinning as they focused on the small piece of jewelry. She asked him many times to play with it, to which he agreed on the condition that it stayed on his wrist. She would intertwine their fingers, causing a mad blush to overtake Byeongkwan's cheeks. With their fingers intertwined, she would trace the delicate chain with her fingers as she admired it.

This became a common occurrence, her taking his hand in hers to play with the bracelet always ending in a blushing Byeongkwan. One of the many days of this common action, she had looked up from the bracelet, noticing his red ears.

"Are you blushing?" She had asked him, her head tilting as her hand kept a tight grip of his.

"No..." Byeongkwan whispered, his lips pouting out.

Without warning, his wrist feels heavier making him look down at it in wonder. As the two children look to his wrist they see a small little charm now attached to one of the chains. It was a yellow hat, rocking back in forth with the direction of the changing winds.

"When did you get this?" The little girl asked Byeongkwan, her eyes shinning even brighter, using the pad of her finger to flick the charm with care.

"I... I.. I didn't.."

"Is it because you said you weren't blushing when you actually were?" She teases with a small giggle.

"I was not!" Byeongkwan yells, his face turning a deeper shade of red.

Once again, his wrist felt heavier, the little girl squealing beside him as she lifts their hands, showing a red overalls charm.

"It was!"

"It was not!"

Another charm, one looking like a black top hat nestled between the two others.

"I think it's when you lie."

Byeongkwan looks to the bracelet in concern, feeling an uneasiness in his gut.

"Tell another one!" Her eyes sparkling, putting the stars on a clear night to shame.

Byeongkwan watched her excited eyes stare at his bracelet, want to give in to her wishes.

"I don't like you."

She looks up in shock, her bottom lip quivering, tears filling her eyes to the brim as her fingers slack against his. Byeongkwan feels immense guilt wash over him.

"No, no, I was lying." Byeongkwan tries to reason as he pulls his bracelet up, another charm in the shape of a black cat on it now.

Her tears stop as she watches all the charms dangle in front of her. She sniffles training her fingers across the charms.

"You really like me?"

"I do."

His face blushes again, laugh erupting from her at the sight, prompting her to hug him before intertwining their fingers again.

"I'll keep your aunt's magic bracelet a secret." She puts her finger to her lips, Byeongkwan nodding in agreement.

~

Years later and the two are still inseparable. Byeongkwan had done well in keeping his lies to a minimum, only acquiring a few more small charms to add to his collection. They had tested the bracelet in many aspects, including letting her wear it for a day as she tried her hand at some lies. It resulted in zero added charms, but she finally got to wear it for a short while before having to give it back to let it rest on its permanent home. They never could explain the science behind the bracelet, no matter how hard they tried. The secret behind it most likely passed on with its creator, leaving it a forever question mark in their lives.

As The pair grew they always appeared to be a couple, this was likely due to her unbreakable habit of intertwining her fingers with his any chance she got. Every new school year, the other students assumed they were together, neither gender wanting to intervene. Unfortunately, their final year of high school was Byeongkwan's biggest nightmare. The boys were beginning to notice her, her awkward stage far from over meaning many more boys were shooting their shot. Byeongkwan couldn't lie, he hated the extra attention she got. Not because he was jealous, but because he had a crush on her, so any competition for her affection he saw as a threat and therefore disliked them. She didn't accept many advances, unfortunately for Byeongkwan, there was the occasional suitor she would give a chance. However, she was often quick to drop them, much to the relief of Byeongkwan.

One day she enters their last class, a large grin adorning her face, directed towards him.

"Byeongkwan." She grabs his attention, sitting next to him and pulling her chair closer to him so she could whisper.

He hums as his head stays resting on his crossed arms, his eyes closed for a few moments before the teacher came to start class.

"You know the new quarterback?"

The mention of the new student caught his attention, His head lifting to meet her eyes.

"What about him?"

"He asked me out."

"You said no, right?"

"Why would I say no? Of course I said yes." She laughs.

Byeongkwan's heart drops as the aforementioned quarterback enters the classroom, his eyes training on her and offering her a wink and a smile. She waves at him and winks back, making Byeongkwan sick to his stomach.

"He's so handsome isn't he?"

"A real dreamboat." Byeongkwan mumbles, feeling a new weight added to his bracelet. He had forgot about the consequences of lying in that moment, hoping she didn't notice the lapse in behavior.

Class starts before they can discuss it more, all Byeongkwan could do was hope she wouldn't stick with him for too long.

~

Weeks passed, many weeks at that and the quarterback was still around. Of course Byeongkwan didn't like him for obvious reasons, but there was something more that irked him. This guy was very cocky and spoke bad about everyone that he knew. He treated her with little regard, calling her names, saying terrible things about her when she wasn't around. Byeongkwan wanted to punch him, but he knew he couldn't lie his way out of that fight or explanation.

He had butted into almost all of their time together, meaning Byeongkwan hadn't had the chance to tell her how horrible her, now deemed, boyfriend was. However, every time he made plans with her, the new boyfriend seemed to come along as well.

He was so thankful when she asked to study with him for their upcoming test. She had told him her boyfriend was busy so he couldn't study with them. Byeongkwan stayed quiet, knowing if he said anything he would be adding unnecessary charms to his arm.

They studied as if all was back the way it was. It was the first time since she started dating the star quarterback that Byeongkwan got to enjoy his time with his best friend. He hadn't seen her genuine laugh since her new relationship. It filled him with joy, but also despair as his thoughts clouded with the reason he hadn't heard it.

Byeongkwan decided to be cordial, asking how her boyfriend was, even though he didn't have an interest in how he was.

"He's busy with practice." She tells him, no change in her normal inflection.

"He's been busy with practice a lot lately." Byeongkwan comments, being as nonchalant as he could be about his ill feelings towards his busy schedule.

"I'm guessing he always is, even before transferring here."

"That sounds believable."

"You don't like him." She states more than asks, catching Byeongkwan by surprise.

"I never said that." A half truth to cover up the full truth in that Byeongkwan had a strong distaste for the man.

She stands, stepping closer to his already upright form, his back hitting his desk as he backs away from her approaching steps. He lays his wrist with the bracelet on the desk, hiding it from her knowing gaze. In the sudden movements, his glasses slide down the bridge of his nose, resting at the end as he watches her from over the frames.

"What do you not like about him?" She inquires, looking up at him with curiosity.

"He says things about you behind your back." Byeongkwan tells her, not wanting to keep that a secret.

"I'm not surprised." She shrugs, not seeming hurt by this information.

"Then why are you still with him?"

"Do you have someone better in mind?"

Byeongkwan wanted to die right there, the way her eyes were looking at him made his heart beat faster and his breathing go irregular. She was waiting for an answer and he only had one truth in his head and knew he couldn't admit that. The lie left his mouth without so much as a thought.

"No."

Her head tilts as he feels his wrist bare the weight of his new lie.

"Byeongkwan." She approaches him, her body mere inches from being completely flush with his. "Do you like me?"

Byeongkwan felt the room heat up, his skin feeling on fire as she awaited his answer. He gulps, feeling a heavy lump sit in his throat that sat there without so much as a movement.

"No."

Another charm added, Byeongkwan's hand becoming tired from the collection appearing on the silver chain.

"You have no attraction to me?"

He shakes his head, not trusting his voice.

"Use your words, BK." She uses his nickname, one she didn't use often, causing a strong inhale to come from his nose.

"No." His voice was shaky, as shaky as his arm holding the weight of his lies.

"You don't get nervous when I hold your hand?"

"Please don't make me answer these." He could feel his face burning as he tried his best to avoid her eyes.

"If you were telling the truth I wouldn't ask them."

"I am telling the truth." Another charm.

"Byeongkwan, I can tell when you're lying cause you are so terrible at it."

She reaches her hand out to his shoulder, his eyes squeeze shut as he braces for her next move. The shoulder her hand rests on begins to tingle, the feeling following her fingers as they trail down his arm at an excruciating slow pace. The heat in the room increasing to unbearable temperatures as her fingers reach his bare forearm.

"Can I see your bracelet?"

"Please don't make me." He pleads in words and deeds as he opens his eyes to convey his pleas that way.

"Why not?" She asks, her face twisting into sadness, a face much like the one from all those years ago when he told the lie of not liking her.

Byeongkwan wanted to avoid the truth, knowing it would expose all his lies. However this sad face of hers was something he couldn't bear to see.

"Because I can't." He breathes, his voice shaky and weak from the heat his body had experienced.

"Yes you can, I would never make you feel terrible about this."

"It's.. It's not that." He sighs, the weight he felt on his chest creating an unfamiliar anxious feeling, that paired along with his mind swirling with a million thoughts he felt he could pass out. 

"My wrist is stuck from all the charms..."

"Byeongkwan, you could have told me the truth." She scolds him through her giggles, her fingers reaching his, an electric shock going through him at the contact.

Her fingers intertwine with his, like they had done so countless times before. However, this time, something felt different. Byeongkwan felt warmth throughout his body and fireworks in his stomach. He wasn't sure if these were pleasant feelings yet, but he wasn't going to stop her as she brought his wrist from behind his back.

The chain was full of charms now, various objects adorning Byeongkwan's wrist as she inspected it with care.

The pad of her finger traces the charms, them swaying even heavier against the friction. Her eyes trail upwards to their intertwined hands, her eyes darting to Byeongkwan's for a quick second before staring back at their hands.

"Our fingers have always intertwined perfectly." She notes.

Byeongkwan watches her, a blushing heat covering his whole body as she inspects him with great intent.

"I wish the bracelet worked on me."

She took a step closer to Byeongkwan, her chest meeting his as she looks deep into his eyes.

"That way I could say how much I adore you and want you to be mine. I could say it all without a single charm appearing on the chain. I could say that I love you and you could believe me without a doubt because my bracelet would show no deceit."

Byeongkwan's mouth hung open as she stared at him, waiting for his response. He believed her. All the words she spoke, each sentence felt like truth to him, he didn't need a bracelet to believe that. However, he couldn't get the words out to convey that to her, so he did the only thing he could think to do.

With his free hand he wraps it around her waist, still holding her hand like his life depended on it as he introduces theirs lip, his kiss passionate to pour years of feelings into the kiss. She made a small sound of surprise at the weight of the kiss, but kissed him back with as much passion as he was giving off. Her hand went to the nape of his neck, pushing his lips further into hers. Their oxygen was running out, however neither one seemed to care as they stay lip locked, trying to get enough air through their noses as they clung to each other.

She pulls away, her breath coming out in heavy puffs of air as her chest pushes against him with every breath out, his demeanor similar to hers. Their lips were still touching as he spoke his next words through his panting.

"I love you."

It was barley a whisper, but she heard it and when she looked down to his wrist to see if his bracelet would become heavier, her smile widened as she watched the bracelet stay the same, he spoke no false words.

She looks back at him, her eyes boring into his as love danced in them. They had a lot of kisses and touches to catch up on, so it comes to no surprise when they lean back in again to share another passionate kiss.

MAIN MASTERLIST

#ace writers #a.c.e #a.c.e fanficiton #a.c.e imagine #tellafairytale #a.c.e x reader #a.c.e byeongkwan x reader #a.c.e byongkwan #ace #ace fanfiction #aceimagine #ace x reader #ace byeongkwan x reader #ace byeongkwan

[kitkatopinions]

Roman for the character ask? XD

`Plushie, I love you for sending me this because I was excitedly telling you that I hoped someone sent me this.

I’ve been writing non-published fan fics (with plushchrome/why-i-hate-rwby-now) and we usually ‘split’ the writing by dividing who writes for what character. Our first RWBY fan fic featured Survived!Torchwick drifting towards a redemption arc, and I was writing for him. And almost every single RWBY fan fiction I’ve written since has featured Roman because I love writing for him so much. So this one is going to be good because I’ve worked with this character for literally years now. (Some of my headcanoned stuff doesn’t fit with canon, but oh well.)

My top three ships for the character

Roman/Glynda. Their only on-screen almost interaction was their fight in ep 1 in which Roman acted annoyed at the sight of her and got Cinder to fight her instead of him, but boy golly could these two have one tension fueled ‘once in a dream’ sort of romance. Roman/Neo is something I don’t personally ship, but I do like the concept and every time I see concept art of it, my heart melts a little. Funnily enough, I also like the concept of Roman/Oz, but only as ‘Roman always used to tease him by flirting with him.’ (Honorable mention to two OCs who’d take the slots under Glynda if they existed. XD)

My three least favorite ships for the character

Roman/Cinder is a massive no, considering she’s the one who got him into the whole big mess in the first place and then essentially left him for dead. I mean, it’s clear Roman’s into her and they could have divorced couples energy, but boy howdy, this would be toxic in the not fun way. Pass. Roman/Tyrian is something I just don’t vibe with, I feel like Roman has enough street smarts to not instigate or tolerate any romantic vibes with Tyrian. XD Also Junior/Roman. This is apparently called Crimedads? Roman’s the only crimedad I need, I don’t want anything to do with Junior or his disgusting behavior or his stupid looking club.

My biggest criticism for the character

I feel like my biggest criticism is actually the way he’s been used (or rather, not used) after his death. I feel like it was a mistake to wait to bring Neo back until the sixth season, and to not really delve into her backstory and not paying much attention to Neo’s growth. It makes her feel like less of a character and, by extension, makes Roman’s death feel like a weaker motivation for it and makes it matter less to the audience. RWBY’s attempts to be a ‘slow burn’ often leave a lot to be desired, and Roman as a motivation for Neo is no exception to that.

My favorite thing about the character

He was the perfect villain for the first three seasons. He was more of a comic book villain than something we were supposed to take really seriously. He was a real threat, but he was also fun, colorful, he had a great voice actor, some slight sympathetic vibes, but still an obviously selfish, obviously bad guy that - like Watts - it doesn’t feel wrong or complicated to hate or love or love to hate him. His comic book villain vibes still had a little more under the surface, which was perfect for the looser, kids-fighting-monsters fun romp with deeper stuff under the surface. That’s why a part of me doesn’t mind the fact that Roman died, even though I think he could’ve been used after volume 3. They would’ve had to change some of Roman in order to fit in with the new more serious, in-depth storyline, and it might’ve taken some of the charm away from his character.

A headcanon I have about them

Buckle up, because I can’t pick just one. Roman came from a long line of Huntsman and Huntresses and it was a family tradition thing, but he actually really wanted to be a Huntsman for many of the same reasons Ruby had wanted to be one, even past family tradition. Roman’s Hunter parents died when he was young, and he was raised mostly by his aunt and uncle in Mistral, though his family tradition was to attend Beacon, so that’s where he went to school. His aunt and uncle (also Hunters) died while he was attending Beacon in his second year. He had a versatile skillset and was really into weapons construction and strategy, but didn’t apply himself very well in school and never went on to the two vs two rounds in the Vytal Tournament. He started experiencing depression during his time in school, which only started getting worse after he (for messy reasons that I can’t take the time to explain here,) was basically forced to run away with Neo (five years younger than him) during his last year of Beacon, dropping out and living on the streets and starting a life of crime in his increasingly desperate attempts to support her and take care of her. Eventually, he stopped working for criminal masterminds who he always had problems with and thought didn’t do good enough jobs and became one himself. And this one doesn’t line up with canon, but in my fan fictions, I always wrote Roman to have a passive ‘survival’ semblance that triggered when his parents died, that keeps him alive even in really bad circumstances (and even after getting eaten by a Grimm, in the fic. XD) His semblance kept him alive, but it also slowly shifted his moral code to accommodate what he needed to do to survive, and would block out grief sometimes (for instance, he never fully grieved his parents.) Obviously, this doesn’t fit with the canon where he does die in that Grimm, but boy howdy, it made him such a good character to write for in fan fictions.

What I would change about them if I was making a re-write

I know I said that I was glad that the writers killed him, but I might not do that tbh. If I was making a re-write, it’d be more for me than anything else, and I think if Roman had survived, it could be really good and fun. For one thing, he had a connection and some element of personal tension to Ruby and Blake and Neo had some of that with Yang, and that’s something that was lacking later. Roman and Neo could’ve been used to introduce Salem’s castle, faction, etc, and they could’ve been really good as unsure, out of their depth villains that start influencing Mercury and Emerald a bit more as well. But I don’t think I’d go whole hog on any redemption arc and use Roman and Neo as more gray, wild card type characters who are against Salem and have a line of what they think is wrong, but are still dangerous and violent and selfish themselves. 

What I I think of their character allusion and what (if anything) I would change about it

Roman’s character allusion to Romeo Candlewick is relatively loose. You can twist Roman into fitting it, as Candlewick wastes his time in idleness until he’s transformed into a jack-ass and then dies of exhaustion. But I definitely think that they mostly leaned into Disney inspired gimmicks like his red hair, hat, and cigar smoking. And more than that, I agree that he’s more based off of the Fox / Honest John Foulfellow, the deceptive conman who tries to trick Pinocchio in the book by pretending to be lame and attempting to kill him, only to wind up really becoming lame and impoverished and hungry. In the Disney version, he’s a more comical conman who expresses some hesitance on tricking kids into going to Pleasure Island and is being threatened into it, but had no problems with other cut throat villainy with no concern over how it affects Pinocchio. He uses a cane (but doesn’t fake a limp,) and his line delivery and body language is kind of close to Roman. Although this is yet another allusion that’s more based on Disney than the original, I think, I tend to not mind this one so much.

[im-just-trying-to-get-bi]

Charming: Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away, the king and queen were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. And throughout the land, everyone was happy... until the sun went down and they saw that their daughter was cursed with a frightful enchantment that took hold each and every night. Desperate, they sought the help of a fairy godmother who had them lock the young princess away in a tower, there to await the kiss... of the handsome Prince Charming. It was he who would chance the perilous journey through blistering cold and scorching desert traveling for many days and nights, risking life and limb to reach the Dragon's keep. For he was the bravest, and most handsome... in all the land. And it was destiny that his kiss would break the dreaded curse. He alone would climb to the highest room of the tallest tower to enter the princess's chambers, cross the room to her sleeping silhouette, pull back the gossamer curtains to find her-- [gasps] Big Bad Wolf: What? Charming: Princess... Fiona? Big Bad Wolf: No! Charming: Oh, thank heavens. Where is she? Big Bad Wolf: She's on her honeymoon. Charming: Honeymoon? With whom? So she said what's the problem, baby? What's the problem? I don't know Well, maybe I'm in love Think about it every time I think 'bout it Can't stop thinking 'bout it How much longer will it take to cure this? Just to cure it, 'cause I can't ignore it If it's love, love Makes me wanna turn around and face me But I don't know nothing 'bout love Oh, come on, come on - Turn a little faster Come on, come on The world will follow after Come on, come on Everybody's after love So I said I'm a snowball running Running down into this spring that's coming all this love Melting under blue skies belting out sunlight Shimmering love Well, baby, I surrender To the strawberry ice cream Never ever end of all this love Well, I didn't mean to do it But there's no escaping your love These lines of lightning mean we're never alone Never alone, no, no Come on, come on Jump a little higher Come on, come on If you feel a little lighter Come on, come on We were once upon a time in love Hyah! We're accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love Accidentally in love I'm in love I'm in love It's so good to be home. Just you and me and... - Two can be as bad as one... - Donkey? Shrek! Fiona! Aren't you two a sight for sore eyes! Give us a hug, Shrek, you old love machine. And look at you, Mrs. Shrek. How 'bout a side of sugar for the steed? Donkey, what are you doing here? Taking care of your love nest for you. Oh, you mean like... sorting the mail and watering the plants? - Yeah, and feeding the fish! - I don't have any fish. You do now. I call that one Shrek and the other Fiona. That Shrek is a rascally devil. Get your... Look at the time. I guess you'd better be going. Don't you want to tell me about your trip? Or how about a game of Parcheesi? Actually, Donkey? Shouldn't you be getting home to Dragon? Oh, yeah, that. I don't know. She's been all moody and stuff lately. I thought I'd move in with you. You know we're always happy to see you, Donkey. But Fiona and I are married now. We need a little time, you know, to be together. Just with each other. Alone. Say no more. You don't have to worry about a thing. I will always be here to make sure nobody bothers you. - Donkey. - Yes, roomie? You're bothering me. Oh, OK. All right, cool. I guess... Me and Pinocchio was going to catch a tournament, anyway, so... Maybe I'll see y'all Sunday for a barbecue or something. He'll be fine. Now, where were we? Oh. I think I remember. - Donkey! I know, I know! Alone! I'm going! I'm going. What do you want me to tell these other guys? Enough, Reggie. "Dearest Princess Fiona. You are hereby summoned to the Kingdom of Far, Far Away for a royal ball in celebration of your marriage at which time the King will bestow his royal blessing... upon you and

your...uh... Prince Charming. Love, the King and Queen of Far, Far Away. aka Mom and Dad." Mom and Dad? - Prince Charming? - Royal ball?! Can I come? - We're not going. - What?! I mean, don't you think they might be a bit... shocked to see you like this? Well, they might be a bit surprised. But they're my parents, Shrek. They love me. And don't worry. They'll love you, too. Yeah, right. Somehow I don't think I'll be welcome at the country club. Stop it. They're not like that. How do you explain Sergeant Pompous and the Fancy Pants Club Band? Oh, come on! You could at least give them a chance. To do what? Sharpen their pitchforks? No! They just want to give you their blessing. Oh, great. Now I need their blessing? If you want to be a part of this family, yes! Who says I want to be part of this family? You did! When you married me! Well, there's some fine print for you! So that's it? You won't come? Trust me. It's a bad idea. We are not going! And that's final! Come on! We don't want to hit traffic! Don't worry! We'll take care of everything. - Hey, wait for me. Oof! Hit it! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Head 'em up, move 'em on! Head 'em up! Rawhide! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Move 'em on! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Rawhide! Ride 'em up! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Move 'em on! Rawhide! Knock 'em out! Pound 'em dead! Make 'em tea! Buy 'em drinks! Meet their mamas! Milk 'em hard! Rawhide! Yee-haw! - Are we there yet? - No. - Are we there yet? - Not yet. - OK, are we there yet? - No. - Are we there yet? - No! - Are we there yet? - No! - Are we there yet? - No! - Are we there yet?! - We are not! - Are we there yet?! - Yes! - Really?! - No!! - Are we there yet? - That's not funny. That's really immature. - This is why nobody likes ogres. - Your loss! - I'm gonna just stop talking. - Finally! This is taking forever, Shrek. There's no in-flight movie or nothing! The Kingdom of Far, Far Away, Donkey. That's where we're going. Far, far... away! All right, all right, I get it. I'm just so darn bored. Well, find a way to entertain yourself. For five minutes... Could you not be yourself... for five minutes?! Are we there yet?! - Yes! - Oh, finally! Wow! It's going to be champagne wishes and caviar dreams from now on. Hey, good-looking! We'll be back to pick you up later! Gotta make a move to a town that's right for me We are definitely not in the swamp anymore. Halt! Well, I talk about it, talk about it, talk about it, talk about it Hey, everyone, look. Talk about, talk about movin'... Hey, ladies! Nice day for a parade, huh? You working that hat. Swimming pools! Movie stars! Announcing the long-awaited return of the beautiful Princess Fiona and her new husband. Well, this is it. - This is it. - This is it. This is it. Uh... why don't you guys go ahead? I'll park the car. So... you still think this was a good idea? Of course! Look. Mom and Dad look happy to see us. - Who on earth are they? - I think that's our little girl. That's not little! That's a really big problem. Wasn't she supposed to kiss Prince Charming and break the spell? Well, he's no Prince Charming, but they do look... Happy now? We came. We saw them. Now let's go before they light the torches. - They're my parents. - Hello? They locked you in a tower. That was for my own... Good! Here's our chance. Let's go back inside and pretend we're not home. Harold, we have to be... Quick! While they're not looking we can make a run for it. Shrek, stop it! Everything's gonna be... A disaster! There is no way... - You can do this. - I really... - Really... - don't... want... to... be... Here! Mom... Dad... I'd like you to meet my husband... Shrek. Well, um... It's easy to see where Fiona gets her good looks from. - Excuse me. Better out than in, I always say, eh, Fiona? That's good. I guess not. What do you mean, not on the list? Don't tell me you don't know who I am. What do you mean, not on the list? Don't tell me you don't know who I am. What's happening, everybody? Thanks for waiting. - I had the hardest time finding this place. - No! No! Bad donkey! Bad! Down! No, Dad! It's all

right. It's all right. He's with us. - He helped rescue me from the dragon. - That's me: the noble steed. Waiter! How 'bout a bowl for the steed? Oh, boy. - Um, Shrek? - Yeah? Oh, sorry! Great soup, Mrs Q. Mmm! No, no. Darling. Oh! So, Fiona, tell us about where you live. Well... Shrek owns his own land. - Don't you, honey? - Oh, yes! It's in an enchanted forest abundant in squirrels and cute little duckies and... What?! I know you ain't talking about the swamp. An ogre from a swamp. Oh! How original. I suppose that would be a fine place to raise the children. It's a bit early to be thinking about that, isn't it? - indeed. I just started eating. - Harold! - What's that supposed to mean? - Dad. It's great. OK? - For his type. Yes. - My type?! I got to go to the bathroom. - Dinner is served! - Never mind. I can hold it. Bon appetite! Oh, Mexican food! My favorite. Let's not sit here with our tummies rumbling. Everybody, dig in. Don't mind if I do, Lillian. I suppose any grandchildren I could expect from you would be... Ogres. Yes! Not that there's anything wrong with that. Right, Harold? Oh, no! No! Of course, not! That is, assuming you don't eat your own young! Dad! No, we usually prefer the ones who've been locked away in a tower! - Shrek, please! - I only did that because I love her. Aye, day care or dragon-guarded castle. You wouldn't understand. You're not her father. It's so nice to have the family together for dinner. - Harold! - Shrek! - Fiona! - Fiona! - Mom! - Harold... Donkey! Your fallen tears have called to me So, here comes my sweet remedy I know what every princess needs For her to live life happily... Oh, my dear. Oh, look at you. You're all grown up. - Who are you? - Oh, sweet pea! I'm your fairy godmother. - I have a fairy godmother? - Shush, shush. Now, don't worry. I'm here to make it all better. With just a... Wave of my magic wand Your troubles will soon be gone With a flick of the wrist and just a flash You'll land a prince with a ton of cash A high-priced dress made by mice no less Some crystal glass pumps And no more stress Your worries will vanish, your soul will cleanse Confide in your very own furniture friends We'll help you set a new fashion trend - I'll make you fancy, I'll make you great - The kind of girl a prince would date! They'll write your name on the bathroom wall... For a happy ever after, give Fiona a call! A sporty carriage to ride in style, Sexy man boy chauffeur, Kyle Banish your blemishes, tooth decay, Cellulite thighs will fade away And oh, what the hey! Have a bichon fris!' Nip and tuck, here and there to land that prince with the perfect hair Lipstick liners, shadows blush To get that prince with the sexy tush Lucky day, hunk buffet You and your prince take a roll in the hay You can spoon on the moon With the prince to the tune Don't be drab, you'll be fab Your prince will have rock-hard abs Cheese souffle, Valentine's Day Have some chicken fricassee! Nip and tuck, here and there To land that prince with the perfect hair Stop! Look... Thank you very much, Fairy Godmother, but I really don't need all this. - Fine. Be that way. - We didn't like you, anyway. - Fiona? Fiona? Oh! You got a puppy? All I got in my room was shampoo. Oh, uh... Fairy Godmother, furniture... I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek. Your husband?! What? What did you say? When did this happen? Shrek is the one who rescued me. - But that can't be right. - Oh, great. More relatives! She's just trying to help. Good! She can help us pack. Get your coat, dear. We're leaving. - What?! - I don't want to leave. When did you decide this? - Shortly after arriving. - Look, I'm sorry... No. That's all right. I need to go, anyway. But remember, dear. If you should ever need me... happiness... is just a teardrop away. Thanks, but we've got all the happiness we need. Happy, happy, happy... So I see. Let's go, Kyle. - Very nice, Shrek. - What? I told you coming here was a bad idea. You could've at least tried to get along with my father. I don't think I was going to get Daddy's blessing, even if I did want it. Do you

think it might be nice if somebody asked me what I wanted? Sure. Do you want me to pack for you? You're unbelievable! You're behaving like a... - Go on! Say it! - Like an ogre! Here's a news flash for you! Whether your parents like it or not... I am an ogre! And guess what, Princess? That's not about to change. I've made changes for you, Shrek. Think about that. That's real smooth, Shrek. I'm an ogre! I knew this would happen. You should. You started it. I can hardly believe that, Lillian. He's the ogre. Not me. I think, Harold, you're taking this a little too personally. This is Fiona's choice. But she was supposed to choose the prince we picked for her. I mean, you expect me to give my blessings to this... thing? Fiona does. And she'll never forgive you if you don't. I don't want to lose our daughter again, Harold. Oh, you act as if love is totally predictable. Don't you remember when we were young? We used to walk down by the lily pond and... - they were in bloom... - Our first kiss. It's not the same! I don't think you realize that our daughter has married a monster! Oh, stop being such a drama king. Fine! Pretend there's nothing wrong! La, di, da, di, da! Isn't it all wonderful! I'd like to know how it could get any worse! - Hello, Harold. - What happened? - Nothing, dear! Just the old crusade wound playing up a bit! I'll just stretch it out here for a while. You better get in. We need to talk. Actually, Fairy Godmother, off to bed. Already taken my pills, and they tend to make me a bit drowsy. So, how about... we make this a quick visit. What? Oh, hello. Ha-ha-ha! So, what's new? You remember my son, Prince Charming?! ls that you? My gosh! It's been years. When did you get back? Oh, about five minutes ago, actually. After I endured blistering winds, scorching desert... I climbed to the highest room in the tallest tower... Mommy can handle this. He endures blistering winds and scorching desert! He climbs to the highest bloody room of the tallest bloody tower... And what does he find? Some gender-confused wolf telling him that his princess... is already married. It wasn't my fault. He didn't get there in time. Stop the car! Harold. You force me to do something. I really don't want to do. Where are we? Hi. Welcome to Friar's Fat Boy! May I take your order? My diet is ruined! I hope you're happy. Uh... Okay. Two Renaissance Wraps, no mayo... chili rings... - I'll have the Medieval Meal. - One Medieval Meal, and, Harold... - Curly fries? - No, thank you. - Sourdough soft taco, then? - No, really, I'm fine. Your order, Fairy Godmother. This comes with the Medieval Meal. There you are, dear. We made a deal, Harold. And I assume you don't want me to go back on my part. Indeed not. So, Fiona and Charming will be together. - Yes. - Believe me, Harold. It's what's best. Not only for your daughter... But for your Kingdom. What am I supposed to do about it? Use your imagination. Oh... Come on in, Your Majesty. I like my town With a little drop of poison Nobody knows... Excuse me. Do I know you? No, you must be mistaking me for someone else. Uh... excuse me. I'm looking for the Ugly Stepsister. Ah! There you are. Right. You see, I need to have someone taken care of. - Who's the guy? - Well, he's not a guy, per se. Um... He's an ogre. Hey, buddy, let me clue you in. There's only one fellow who can handle a job like that, and, frankly... he don't like to be disturbed. he don't like to be disturbed. Where could I find him? Hello? Who dares enter my room? Sorry! I hope I'm not interrupting, but I'm told you're the one to talk to about an ogre problem? You are told correct. But for this, I charge a great deal of money. Would... this be enough? You have engaged my valuable services, Your Majesty. Just tell me where I can find this ogre. Everyone says I'm getting down too low Everyone says you've just gotta let it go You just gotta let it go I need some sleep Time to put the old horse down I'm in too deep And the wheels keep spinning round Everyone says you've just gotta let it go Everyone says you've just gotta let it go Dear

Knight, I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude. Dear Diary... Sleeping Beauty is having a slumber party tomorrow, but Dad says I can't go. He never lets me out after sunset. Dad says I'm going away for a while. Must be like some finishing school. Mom says that when I'm old enough, my Prince Charming will rescue me from my tower and bring me back to my family, and we'll all live happily ever after. Mrs. Fiona Charming. Mrs. Fiona Charming. Mrs. Fiona Charming. Mrs. Fiona Charming. Sorry. I hope I'm not interrupting anything. No. No. I was just reading a, uh... a scary book. I was hoping you'd let me apologize for my despicable behavior earlier. - Okay... - I don't know what came over me. Do you suppose we could pretend it never happened and start over... - Look, Your Majesty, I just... - Please. Call me. Dad. Dad. We both acted like ogres. Maybe we just need some time to get to know each other? Excellent idea! I was actually hoping you might join me for a morning hunt. A little father-son time? I know it would mean the world to Fiona. Shall we say, Face it, Donkey! We're lost. We can't be lost. We followed the King's instructions exactly. Head to the darkest part of the woods...Past the sinister trees with scary-looking branches.- The bush shaped like Shirley Bassey! - We passed that three times already! You were the one who said not to stop for directions. Oh, great. My one chance to fix things up with Fiona's dad and I end up lost in the woods with you! Don't get huffy! I'm only trying to help. I know! I know. - I'm sorry, all right? - Hey, don't worry about it. I just really need to make things work with this guy. Yeah, sure. Now let's go bond with Daddy. Well, well, well, Donkey. I know it was kind of a tender moment back there, but the purring? What? I ain't purring. Sure. What's next? A hug? Hey, Shrek. Donkeys don't purr. What do you think I am, some kind of a... Ha-ha! Fear me, if you dare! Look! A little cat. - Look out, Shrek! He got a piece! - It's a cat, Donkey. Come here, little kitty, kitty. Come on, little kitty. Come here. Oh! Come here, little kitty. - Whoa! - Hold on, Shrek! I'm coming! - Come on! Get it off! Get it off! Oh, God. Oh... No! - Look out, Shrek! Hold still! - Get it off! Shrek! Hold still! - Did I miss? - No. You got them. Now, ye ogre, pray for mercy from... Puss... In Boots! I'll kill that cat! Ah-ha-ha! Hairball. - Oh! That is nasty! What should we do with him? Take the sword and neuter him. Give him the Bob Barker treatment. Oh, no! Por favor! Please! I implore you! It was nothing personal, Senor. I was doing it only for my family. My mother, she is sick. And my father lives off the garbage! The King offered me much in gold and I have a litter of brothers... Whoa, whoa, whoa! Fiona's father paid you to do this? The rich King? Si. Well, so much for Dad's royal blessing. Don't feel bad. Almost everybody that meets you wants to kill you. Gee, thanks. Maybe Fiona would've been better off if I were some sort of Prince Charming. That's what the King said. Oh, uh... sorry. I thought that question was directed at me. Shrek, Fiona knows you'd do anything for her. Well, it's not like I wouldn't change if I could. I just... I just wish I could make her happy. Hold the phone... Happiness.A tear drop away.Donkey! Think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you! Man, where do I begin? First there was the time that old farmer tried to sell me for some magic beans. Then this fool had a party and he have the guests trying to pin the tail on me. Then they got drunk and start beating me with a stick, going Pinata!! What is a pinata, anyway?! No, Donkey! I need you to cry! Don't go projecting on me. I know you're feeling bad, but you got to... Aaaahhh! You little, hairy, litter-licking sack of... What? Is it on? Is it on? This is Fairy Godmother. I'm either away from my desk or with a client. But if you come by the office, we'll be glad to make you an appointment. Have a happy ever after. Oh... Are you up for a little quest, Donkey? That's more like it! Shrek and Donkey, on

another whirlwind adventure! Ain't no stoppin' us now! Whoo! We're on the move! - Stop, Ogre! I have misjudged you. - Join the club. We've got jackets. On my honor, I am obliged to accompany you until I have saved your life as you have spared me mine. The position of annoying talking animal has already been taken. Let's go, Shrek. Shrek? - Shrek! - Aw, come on, Donkey. Look at him... In his wee little boots. You know, how many cats can wear boots? Honestly. - Let's keep him! - Say what?! Ahh! Listen. He's purring! - Oh, so now it's cute. - Come on, Donkey. Lighten up. Lighten up?! I should lighten up? Look who's telling who to lighten up! Lighten up?! I should lighten up? Look who's telling who to lighten up! Shrek! Shrek? They're both festive, aren't they? What do you think, Harold? Um... Yes, yes. Fine. Fine. Try to at least pretend you're interested in your daughter's wedding ball. Honestly, Lillian, I don't think it matters. How do we know there will even be a ball? Mom. Dad. - Oh, hello, dear. - What's that, Cedric? Right! Coming. Mom, have you seen Shrek? I haven't. You should ask your father. Be sure and use small words, dear. He's a little slow this morning. - Can I help you, Your Majesty? - Ah, yes! Um... Mmm! Exquisite. What do you call this dish? That would be the dog's breakfast, Your Majesty. Ah, yes. Very good, then. Carry on, Cedric. - Dad? Dad, have you seen Shrek? - No, I haven't, dear. I'm sure he just went off to look for a nice... mud hole to cool down in. You know, after your little spat last night. Oh. You heard that, huh? The whole kingdom heard you. I mean, after all, it is in his nature to be... well, a bit of a brute. Him? You know, you didn't exactly roll out the Welcome Wagon. Well, what did you expect? Look at what he's done to you. Shrek loves me for who I am. I would think you'd be happy for me. Darling, I'm just thinking about what's best for you. Maybe you should do the same. No, really? Shh... Oh... Oh, no. That's the old Keebler's place. Let's back away slowly. That's the Fairy Godmother's cottage. She's the largest producer of hexes and potions in the whole kingdom. Then why don't we pop in there for a spell? Ha-ha! Spell! He makes me laugh. Hi. I'm here to see the... The Fairy Godmother. I'm sorry. She is not in. Jerome! Coffee and a Monte Cristo. Now! Yes, Fairy Godmother. Right away. Look, she's not seeing any clients today. OK? That's OK, buddy. We're from the union. The union? We represent the workers in all magical industries, both evil and benign. Oh! Oh, right. Are you feeling at all degraded or oppressed? Uh... a little. We don't even have dental. They don't even have dental. Okay, we'll just have a look around. Oh. By the way. I think it'd be better if the Fairy Godmother didn't know we were here. - Know what I'm saying? Huh? - Huh? Huh? Huh? - Stop it. - Of course. Go right in. A drop of desire. Naughty! A pinch of passion. And just a hint of... lust... Excuse me. Sorry to barge in like this... What in Grimm's name are you doing here? Well, it seems that Fiona's not exactly happy. Oh-ho-ho! And there's some question as to why that is? Well, let's explore that, shall we? Ah. P, P, P... Princess. Cinderella. Here we are. Lived happily ever after.Oh... No ogres! Let's see. Snow White. A handsome prince. Oh, no ogres. Sleeping Beauty. Oh, no ogres! Hansel and Gretel? No! Thumbelina? No. The Golden Bird, the Little Mermaid, Pretty Woman... No, no, no, no, no! You see, ogres don't live happily ever after. All right, look, lady! Don't you point... those dirty green sausages at me! Your Monte Cristo and coffee. Oh! Sorry. Ah... that's okay. We were just leaving. Very sorry to have wasted your time, Miss Godmother. Just... go. Come on, guys. TGlF, eh, buddy? Working hard or hardly working, eh, Mac? Get your fine Corinthian footwear and your cat cheeks out of my face! Man, that stinks! You don't exactly smell like a basket of roses. - Well, one of these has got to help. - I was just concocting this very plan! Already our minds are becoming one. Whoa, whoa. If we need an expert on

licking ourselves, we'll give you a call. Shrek, this is a bad idea. Look. Make yourself useful and go keep watch. Puss, do you think you could get to those on top? No problema, boss. In one of my nine lives, I was the great cat burglar of Santiago de Compostela. Ha-ha-ha-ha! Shrek, are you off your nut? Donkey, keep watch. Keep watch? Yeah, I'll keep watch. I'll watch that wicked witch come and whammy a world of hurt up your backside. I'll laugh, too. I'll be giggling to myself. - What do you see? - Toad Stool Softener? I'm sure a nice BM is the perfect solution for marital problems. - Elfa Seltzer? - Uh-uh. - Hex Lax? - No! Try handsome.Sorry. No handsome. Hey! How about Happily Ever After? Well, what does it do? It says Beauty Divine. In some cultures, donkeys are revered as the wisest of creatures. Especially us talking ones. Donkey! That'll have to do. We've got company. Can we get on with this? Hurry! Nice catch, Donkey! Finally! A good use for your mouth. Come on! You spurn my natural emotions You make me feel like dirt and I'm hurt And if I start a commotion I run the risk of losing you and that's worse Ever fallen in love with someone, ever fallen in love In love with someone, ever fallen in love In love with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with Ever fallen in love with someone, ever fallen in love In love with someone, ever fallen in love With someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with Fallen in love with Ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with I don't care whose fault it is. Just get this place cleaned up! And somebody bring me something deep fried and smothered in chocolate! - Mother! - Charming. Sweetheart. This isn't a good time, pumpkin. Mama's working. Whoa, what happened here? - The ogre, that's what! - What? Where is he, Mom? I shall rend his head from his shoulders! I will smite him where he stands! He will rue the very day he stole my kingdom from me! Oh, put it away, Junior! You're still going to be king. We'll just have to come up with something smarter. Pardon. Um... Everything is accounted for, Fairy Godmother, except for one potion. What? Oh... I do believe we can make this work to our advantage. Happily Ever After Potion. Maximum strength. For you and your true love. If one of you drinks this, you both will be fine. Happiness, comfort and beauty divine.- You both will be fine? - I guess it means it'll affect Fiona, too. Hey, man, this don't feel right. My donkey senses are tingling all over. Drop that jug o' voodoo and let's get out of here. It says, Beauty Divine. How bad can it be? See, you're allergic to that stuff. You'll have a reaction. And if you think that I'll be smearing Vapor Rub over your chest, think again! Boss, just in case there is something wrong with the potion... allow me to take the first sip. It would be an honor to lay my life on the line for you. Oh, no, no. I don't think so. If there'll be any animal testing, I'll do it. That's the best friend's job. Now give me that bottle. How do you feel? I don't feel any different. I look any different? You still look like an ass to me. Maybe it doesn't work on donkeys. - Well, here's to us, Fiona. - Shrek? - You drink that, there's no going back. - I know. - No more wallowing in the mud? - I know. - No more itchy butt crack? - I know! - But you love being an ogre! - I know! I know. Shrek, no! Wait! Got to be... I think you grabbed the Farty Ever After potion. Maybe it's a dud. Or maybe Fiona and I were never meant to be. Or maybe Fiona and I were never meant to be. Uh-oh. What did I tell you? I feel something coming on. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die! Oh, sweet sister, mother of mercy. I'm melting! I'm melting! It's just the rain, Donkey. Oh. Don't worry. Things seem bad because it's dark and rainy and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you. It'll be better in the morning. You'll see... The sun'll come out... Tomorrow Bet your bottom... Bet my bottom? I'm coming, Elizabeth! Donkey? Are you all right? - Hey, boss. Let's shave him. - D-Donkey?

There you are! We missed you at dinner. What is it, darling? Dad... I've been thinking about what you said. And I'm going to set things right. Ah! Excellent! That's my girl. It was a mistake to bring Shrek here. I'm going to go out and find him. And then we'll go back to the swamp where we belong. Fiona, please! Let's not be rash, darling. You can't go anywhere right now. Fiona! Look, I told you he was here. Look at him! Quiet. Look at him. Good morning, sleepyhead. Good morning! We love your kitty! Oh... My head... - Here, I fetched a pail of water. Thanks. Uhh! Aahh! Oh... A cute, button nose? Thick, wavy locks? Taut, round buttocks?! I'm... I'm... - Gorgeous! - I'll say. I'm Jill. What's your name? - Um... Shrek. - Shrek? Wow. Are you from Europe? - You're tense. - I want to rub his shoulders. - I got it covered. - I don't have anything to rub. Get in line. Get in line. - Have you seen my donkey? - Who are you calling donkey? - Donkey? You're a... - A stallion, baby! I can whinny. I can count. Look at me, Shrek! I'm trotting! That's some quality potion. What's in that stuff? Oh, don't take the potion, Mr. Boss, it's very bad.Pah! Warning: Side effects may include burning, itching, oozing, weeping. Not intended for heart patients or those with... nervous disorders.I'm trotting, I'm trotting in place! Yeah! What? Senor? To make the effects of this potion permanent, the drinker must obtain his true love's kiss by midnight.Midnight? Why is it always midnight? - Pick me! I'll be your true love! - I'll be your true love. I'll be true... enough. Look, ladies, I already have a true love. Oh... And take it from me, Boss. You are going to have one satisfied Princess. And let's face it. You are a lot easier on the eyes. Inside you're the same old mean, salty... - Easy. - ...cantankerous, foul, angry ogre you always been. And you're still the same annoying donkey. - Yeah. Well... Look out, Princess. Here comes the new me. First things first. - We need to get you out of those clothes. - Ready? - Ready! - Driver, stop! Oh, God! Help me, please! My racing days are over! I'm blind! Tell the truth. Will I ever play the violin again? You poor creature! ls there anything I can do for you? Well, I guess there is one thing. Take off the powdered wig and step away from your drawers. - Not bad. - Not bad at all. Father? ls everything all right, Father? Thank you, gentlemen! Someday, I will repay you. Unless, of course, I can't find you or if I forget. Oh, yeah Turn and face the strange Ch-Ch-Changes Don't wanna be a richer one Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes Turn and face the strange Ch-Ch-Changes Just gonna have to be a different man Time may change me But I can't trace time Halt! Tell Princess Fiona her husband, Sir Shrek, is here to see her. Still don't know what I was looking for And my time was running wild, a million dead-end streets Every time I thought I'd got it made It seemed the taste was not so sweet - Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes Turn and face the strange - Shrek? - Ch-Ch-Changes Don't wanna be a richer one Time may change me But I can't trace time Fiona? Hello, handsome. Shrek! - Princess! - Donkey? Wow! That potion worked on you, too? What potion? Shrek and I took some magic potion. And well... Now, we're sexy! Shrek? For you, baby... I could be. - Yeah, you wish. - Donkey, where is Shrek? He went inside looking for you. Shrek? Fiona! Fiona! You want to dance, pretty boy? Are you going so soon? Don't you want to see your wife? Fiona? Shrek? Aye, Fiona. It is me. What happened to your voice? The potion changed a lot of things, Fiona. But not the way I feel about you. Fiona? - Charming? - Do you think so? Dad. I was so hoping you'd approve. - Um... Who are you? - Mom, it's me, Shrek. I know you never get a second chance at a first impression, but, well, what do you think? Fiona! Fiona! Fiona! - Fiona! - Fiona, Fiona! Ho-ho-ho! Oh, shoot! I don't think they can hear us, pigeon. Don't you think you've already messed her life up enough? I just wanted her to be happy. And now she can be. Oh, sweetheart. She's finally found the prince of her dreams.

But look at me. Look what I've done for her. It's time you stop living in a fairy tale, Shrek. She's a princess, and you're an ogre. That's something no amount of potion will ever change. But... I love her. If you really love her... you'll let her go. Shrek? Senor. What's going on? Where are you going? You wouldn't have had anything to do with this, would you, Harold? People just ain't no good I think that's well understood There you go, boys. Just leave the bottle, Doris. Hey. Why the long face? It was all just a stupid mistake. I never should have rescued her from that tower in the first place. I hate Mondays. I can't believe you'd walk away from the best thing that happened to you. What choice do I have? She loves that pretty boy, Prince Charming. Come on. ls he really that good-looking? Are you kidding? He's gorgeous! He has a face that looks like it was carved by angels. - Oh. He sounds dreamy. - You know... shockingly, this isn't making me feel any better. Look, guys. It's for the best. Mom and Dad approve, and Fiona gets the man she's always dreamed of. Everybody wins. Except for you. I don't get it, Shrek. You love Fiona. Aye. And that's why I have to let her go. Excuse me, is she here? She's, uh... in the back. Oh, hello again. Fairy Godmother. Charming. You'd better have a good reason for dragging us down here, Harold. Well, I'm afraid Fiona isn't really... warming up to Prince Charming. - FYI, not my fault. - No, of course it's not, dear. I mean, how charming can I be when I have to pretend I'm that dreadful ogre? No, no, it's nobody's fault. Perhaps it's best if we just call the whole thing off, okay? - What? - You can't force someone to fall in love! I beg to differ. I do it all the time! Have Fiona drink this and she'll fall in love with the first man she kisses, which will be Charming. - Umm... no. - What did you say? I can't. I won't do it. Oh, yes, you will. lf you remember, I helped you with your happily ever after. And I can take it away just as easily. ls that what you want? ls it? - No. - Good boy. Now, we have to go. I need to do Charming's hair before the ball. He's hopeless. He's all high in the front. He can never get to the back. You need someone to do the back. Oh. Thank you, Mother. Mother? Um... Mary! A talking horse! The ogre! Stop them! Thieves! Bandits! Stop them! The abs are fab and it's gluteus to the maximus here at tonight's Far, Far Away Royal Ball blowout! The coaches are lined up as the cream of the crop pours out of them like Miss Muffet's curds and whey. Everyone who's anyone has turned out to honor Princess Fiona and Prince Shrek. And, oh my, the outfits look gorgeous! Look! Hansel and Gretel! What the heck are the crumbs for? And right behind them, Tom Thumb and Thumbelina! - Oh, aren't they adorable! Here comes Sleeping Beauty! Tired old thing. Who's this? Who's this? Who is this? Oh. It's the one, it's the only... It's the Fairy Godmother! Hello, Far, Far Away! Can I get a whoop whoop? May all your endings be happy and... Well, you know the rest! We'll be right back with the Royal Far, Far Away Ball after these messages. I hate these ball shows. They bore me to tears. Flip over to Wheel Of Torture! I'm not flipping anywhere, sir, until I see Shrek and Fiona. Whizzes on you guys. Hey, mice, pass me a buffalo wing! No, to your left. Your left! - Tonight on Knights... - Now here's a good show! We got a white bronco heading east into the forest. Requesting backup. It's time to teach these madcap mammals their devil may care attitudes just won't fly. Why you grabbing me? Police brutality! I have to talk to Princess Fiona! - We warned you! - Ow! Ow! Did someone let the cat out of the bag? You capitalist pig dogs! - Catnip! - That's not mine. Find Princess Fiona! I'm a donkey! Tell her Shrek... I'm her husband, Shrek! Quick! Rewind it! I'm her husband, Shrek! Ow! Darling? Ah. I thought I might find you here. How about a nice hot cup of tea before the ball? I'm not going. The whole Kingdom's turned out to celebrate your marriage. There's just one problem. That's not my husband. I

mean, look at him. Yes, he is a bit different, but people change for the ones they love. You'd be surprised how much I changed for your mother. Change? He's completely lost his mind! Why not come down to the ball and give him another chance? You might find you like this new Shrek. But it's the old one I fell in love with, Dad. I'd give anything to have him back. Darling. That's mine. Decaf. Otherwise I'm up all night. Thanks. I got to get out of here! I got to get out of here! You can't lock us up like this! Let me go! What about my Miranda rights? You're supposed to say I have the right to remain silent. Nobody said I have the right to remain silent! You have the right to remain silent. What you lack is the capacity. I must hold on before l, too, go totally mad. Shrek? Donkey? Too late. Gingy! Pinocchio! Get us out of here! Oh... Fire in ze hole! Look out below! Quick! Tell a lie! - What should I say? - Anything, but quick! Say something crazy like I'm wearing ladies' underwear!I am wearing ladies' underwear. - Are you? - I most certainly am not! It looks like you most certainly am are! - I am not! - What kind? - It's a thong! - Oww! They're briefs! - Are not. - Are too! - Are not! - Are too! Here we go. Hang tight. Wait, wait, wait! Ow! Ow! Hey, hey, hey! Ow! - Excuse me? - What? Puss! Pardon me, would you mind letting me go? - Sorry, boss. - Quit messing around! We've got to stop that kiss! I thought you was going to let her go. I was, but I can't let them do this to Fiona. Boom! That's what I like to hear. Look who's coming around! It's impossible! We'll never get in. The castle's guarded. There's a moat and everything! Folks, it looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick. - What? - Do you still know the Muffin Man? Well, sure! He's down on Drury Lane. Why? Because we're gonna need flour. Lots and lots of flour. Gingy! Fire up the ovens, Muffin Man! We've got a big order to fill! It's alive! Run, run, run, as fast you can! Go, baby, go! There it is, Mongo! To the castle! No, you great stupid pastry! Come on! Mongo! Down here! Look at the pony! That's right! Follow the pretty pony! Pretty pony wants to play at the castle! Pretty pony. Ladies and gentlemen. Presenting Princess Fiona and her new husband, Prince Shrek. Shrek, what are you doing? I'm just playing the part, Fiona. ls that glitter on your lips? Mm. Cherry flavored. Want to taste? - Ugh! What is with you? - But, Muffin Cake... C Minor, put it in C Minor. Ladies and gentlemen. I'd like to dedicate this song to... Princess Fiona and Prince Shrek. Fiona, my Princess. Will you honor me with a dance? Where have all the good men gone And where are all the gods? Dance! Where's the streetwise Hercules To fight the rising odds? Since when do you dance? Fiona, my dearest,if there's one thing I know, it's that love is full of surprises. Late at night I toss and I turn And I dream of what I need Hit it! I need a hero All right, big fella! Let's crash this party! Man the catapults! Aim! Fire! - Brace yourselves! - Ooh! Purty! Not the gumdrop button! Incoming! Ha-ha! All right! Somewhere after midnight In my wildest fantasy Go, Mongo! Go! Man the cauldrons! After you, Mongo. - That's it! Heave-ho! - Watch out! Shrek! More heat, less foam! Up where the mountains Meet the heavens above Out where the lightning Splits the sea I could swear there is someone Somewhere watching me Heave! Ho! No...! Come on! Look out! - Be good. He needs me! Let me go! Donkey! Puss! Go! Go! Your lady needs you! Go! Today, I repay my debt. Aww... On guard! He's gotta be strong And he's gotta be fast And he's gotta be fresh From the fight - I need a hero - Stop! - Hey, you! Back away from my wife. - Shrek? You couldn't just go back to your swamp and leave well enough alone. - Now! - Pigs und blanket! Pinocchio! Get the wand! I see London! I see France! Whah! I'm a real boy! Ah! Ah! Aaahhh! Catch! Donkey! Oh! I'm a real boy. Aah! Oh! - Ha! - Ah. That's mine! Pray for mercy, from Puss... And Donkey! She's taken the potion! Kiss her now! No! - Hi-ya! - Fiona. - Shrek. Harold! You

were supposed to give her the potion! Well, I guess I gave her the wrong tea. - Mommy! - Mommy? I told you. Ogres don't live happily ever after. Woo! Ha! Oh, Dad! - ls he...? - Yup. He croaked. Harold? Dad? I'd hoped you'd never see me like this. - And he gave you a hard time! - Donkey! No, no, he's right. I'm sorry. To both of you. I only wanted what was best for Fiona. But I can see now... she already has it. Shrek, Fiona... Will you accept an old frog's apologies... and my blessing? Harold? I'm sorry, Lillian. I just wish I could be the man you deserve. You're more that man today than you ever were... warts and all. Boss! The Happily Ever After Potion! Midnight! Fiona. ls this what you want? To be this way forever? - What? - Because if you kiss me now... we can stay like this. You'd do that? - For me? - Yes. I want what any princess wants. To live happily ever after... with the ogre I married. Whatever happens, I must not cry! You cannot make me cry! Whoa! No. No, no. Aaah! Ow. Oh, no. Hey. You still look like a noble steed to me. Now, where were we? Oh! I remember. Hey! Isn't we supposed to be having a fiesta?! Uno, dos, quatro, hit it! Puss and Donkey, y'all... She's into superstitions Black cats and voodoo dolls - Sing it, Puss! - I feel a premonition That girl's gonna make me fall Here we go! She's into new sensations New kicks in the candlelight She's got a new addiction For every day and night She'll make you take your clothes off And go dancing in the rain She'll make you live her crazy life But she'll take away your pain Like a bullet to your brain Upside inside out Living la vida loca Hey gorgeous! Living la vida loca Her lips are devil red And her skin's the color of mocha She will wear you out - Living la vida loca - She livin' it loca! Living la vida loca - Say it one more time now! - Living the vida loca Hey, Donkey, that's Spanish! She'll push and pull you down Living la vida loca She will wear you out Living la vida loca Living la vida loca She'll push and pull you down Living the vida loca Her lips are devil red And her skin's the color of mocha She will wear you out Living la vida loca Living la vida loca Living la vida loca Living la vida loca All by myself All by myself Don't wanna be All by myself anymore... Amigo, we are off to the Kit-Kat Club. Come on, join us. Thanks, compadre. I'm... I'm not in the mood. We will cheer you up! Find you a nice burro! Hey, baby! Hey, that's my girl! Yeah! All right! Baby, where you been? - I'm sorry, too. I should've stayed. But Shrek had this thing he had to do. What? Say it one more time. What you talking about? Are you serious? - Papa! Look at our little mutant babies! I got to get a job. I got to get a job.

Omg

[treatian]

The Chronicles of the Dark One: Breaking the Curse

Chapter 57: A Long Shot

He had to think and he had to think quickly.

The good news in all this? Regina had just confirmed, finally, that she had magic just as he'd suspected she did. However, in the same breath, she'd also confessed that she'd just used the last of it. Fine. No use crying over spilled milk. And given the way things were going, that at least put them on an even playing field.

The bad news was that there was still a Sleeping Curse walking around Storybrooke! That could potentially be very damaging and damning! Was that what she had needed Jefferson for? How could he have helped her get her hands on a Sleeping Curse? The one and only attempt she'd ever had was a failure! Snow White had woken. And the apple she'd used…the apple…fuck!

Suddenly he remembered something he hadn't thought of in years, something that had seemed odd at the time but he hadn't worried about because he'd had too many other things to worry about at the time. And once everything was said and done things had worked out so well he'd never seen reason to look back on it. Maybe that was a mistake.

The day that Snow White had taken the apple he'd watched it as it rolled out of her hand, planning on fetching it to make sure it stayed out of the wrong hands, but then he'd seen something remarkable…it had been swallowed up into the ground, into a portal. Portals, Jefferson's specialty. But…he'd never known a portal that could move through space and time like that! Time travel was only theoretical, it had never been accomplished. Then again this wasn't really traveling…that portal had been big enough for the apple and nothing else. And Jefferson's Hat…in all his years he'd never encountered anything like it. The only thing more powerful than it was the Dark Curse. Could it have been responsible? Could he have pulled the apple through for Regina? He hated to admit it, but it was possible. And at the moment, it didn't matter...

What mattered was that it was here, in this world! And Regina…oh, she just loved to bake didn't she. The container Emma had left her home with, he'd bet his dagger that whatever was in that container had something apple flavored. And that was a problem, a very big problem, but one with an easy solution.

He could fix it all right that moment by going over and taking whatever she'd given the Savior, removing it from her care! It had to happen. Emma Swan couldn't take that Sleeping Curse! A Sleeping Curse had one fatal flaw and that was True Love's Kiss. So far his understanding of the Savior was that was a bad thing. This wasn't like Snow White taking the Sleeping Curse, her True Love had been a grown man, a very resourceful and determined man. So far the only person who loved Emma truly enough was a little boy under the sway of the Queen and Regina would know that. No doubt, once Emma was asleep, Regina would do everything in her power to keep Henry from her. He had no doubt Henry might actually achieve what was necessary, but that could take years. And the belief of a little boy could ebb and-

He had been about to leave the shop for Mary Margaret's apartment when a new thought crossed his mind. It was a plan, a new plan so perfectly formed that if he didn't know any better he'd think the Seer or past Dark Ones had put it together. More evidence of the weakening of the Curse? He shut the door to his shop and stilled as he thought the plan through, trying to analyze it quickly as he could for flaws or weaknesses. It had both. Risky plans had that. But risky plans also had the potential for a big reward and the reward at the end of this plan…it was big.

The belief of a little boy…

The Savior didn't believe in magic. Not one bit. But she did love her son, he understood that even if she didn't. And Henry loved her, he was confident in that. The love between a child and parent was sacred, it was a form of True Love on its own. If she slept…what good would it do? She'd probably believe that Regina poisoned her and years later, if Henry woke her with a kiss, she'd probably still believe it to be a coincidence.

But if it was reversed…if Henry took the potion, if he took the Curse and she woke him with a kiss, specifically True Love's Kiss…that could be life-changing. That could get them to the kind of belief they needed for her to break the Curse. And Henry…

He'd do it. He'd take on the Sleeping Curse for Emma. He'd do it without being asked because he was a brave little boy who truly believed in his mother and the Curse and her ability to free them. It was a risky plan. But genius. The question was how to get him to do it.

He didn't have a goon on Henry so he didn't know his current location, kidnapping him was out of the question, telling him was even further out of the question because he didn't want anyone else to know that he was aware of who he was until it was necessary.

But, technically, he didn't need to tell the boy. He just needed to get him there. Henry had all the information he needed and all the belief in the world. He'd recognize something from his own kitchen, he'd suspect Regina, he'd put two and two together, he'd take it on willingly to save Storybrooke, just as Snow had done it to save David. So the question wasn't how to get him to take it, he just had to get him to that apartment and fast.

He looked around his room, searching for ideas. He spotted Baelfire's ball, in the place that he had moved it after Booth had come in. Booth and Henry-

And then he knew.

He left the shop without even bothering to lock the door. He had a suspicion about that day, one that he hadn't bothered to confirm because he hadn't really believed it but now he suddenly found himself giving it new life. He wasn't angry. He didn't have time to be angry, he just had to get this done. He didn't have eyes on Booth but he knew where to start looking for him. Granny's Bed and Breakfast. He stormed into the room without even bothering to knock, taking the unlocked door as a good sign, and spun around searching the place until he found…

There he was. August Booth. He was laying on the bed like some kind of invalid might only he was smiling up at him with a grin that made him want to slap the man.

"Nice of you to drop by," he commented not even bothering to get up for him.

"That day you came into the shop…Henry was working with you, wasn't he? To distract me," he accused. If he wouldn't get out of bed that was just fine by him. They didn't have time for niceties, he needed answers! "Wasn't he?!"

"Fine, you caught us?" Booth admitted with a bored sigh. "What are you gonna do about it?"

He smiled. That was perfect, just perfect. "I'm not gonna do anything. You, on the other hand, are going to call Henry and tell him to go to Emma. She needs to see him now, this instant."

"Why?"

"It's a matter of life or death," he explained.

Booth shook his head side to side, sneering at him in disgust. "I won't put the kid in danger."

"He won't be in danger!" he stressed. "Not as long as Emma is here, not as long as we can get her to believe."

"That's the problem she doesn't believe!" Booth blurt out. "She's leaving, going back to Boston. We've failed."

"This won't fail. This will get her there. You just need to make a call!"

He pointed to the phone on the table but watched Booth as his eyes slid to the table and then back again to him. He didn't move a muscle. That was odd. In fact, he was suddenly beginning to realize that he hadn't moved at all on the bed. He hadn't jumped when he'd come in, hadn't moved his neck to follow him, hadn't even raised his hand to scratch an itch. Out of curiosity, he moved again, coming closer to Booth. The puppet swallowed nervously, but otherwise stayed where he was, his eyes following him.

His illness…what could cause a man to go so still? To go so lifeless? Booth had said he needed Emma to heal him. Magic could do a number on physical ailments, but humans were also creatures of habit, prone to addiction and comfort. When something worked once, they were likely to go back and do it again. After years of living in the real world with modern medicine, he claimed he was dying despite appearing to be healthy. But there was one ailment Pinocchio had once suffered from that magic had "fixed". Living in a world without magic…that particular ailment could be fatal.

His suspicion led him to approach the side of his bed. Without asking permission he reached over to yank a bit of his pant leg up away from his skin. But it wasn't skin or ankle he found beneath.

"Wood," he concluded looking over at him. "You're turning back into a puppet. This is the sickness you want cured? The wish you want granted?"

"When the Blue Fairy granted my father's wish and turned me, she told me the magic would only continue to work if I remained selfless, brave, and true. Before the Curse struck, she found a magical tree that could be carved into a wardrobe that could take people to this land, powerful enough to get two people here. It was meant for the Charmings, but my father struck a deal. He'd carve the wardrobe if I could have that second ticket. But then Snow White gave birth before she could be taken to the wardrobe. My father put me in before the Curse struck and I was charged with watching over Emma in this world, to tell her about her destiny, to help her save everyone. She arrived after me and for a while I did my best but…the temptations of this world were too much."

He'd been right. Right about the wardrobe, about how he and Emma had gotten here. But he could never have guessed the second part. "You were just a child yourself."

"But I'm afraid I haven't been very selfless, brave, or true. One night I woke up to pain in my leg and I realized after all those years I was turning back to wood. Best I can figure, it first happened when Emma arrived in Storybrooke and the Curse first started to break."

"Your leg turned to wood in the world outside Storybrooke?"

"Yeah, but no one can see it. Not unless they believe. This isn't so much a Land Without Magic as it is a Land Without Belief. There is magic, but it's weak. Belief is very powerful out there. It can activate magic in this world for good or for bad…trouble is most adults have trouble with the believing part. I, on the other hand, had a head start."

Smart man. It was painful, no doubt to turn into wood, and it was probably because of that he'd come to the correct conclusion. Without magic in the world once the process was complete he'd be a full-grown puppet. Here in Storybrooke, if the Curse broke, whether or not Emma had the power to fix this, at least he'd be alive, a walking talking puppet just as he had been in the Enchanted Forest. But only if they could get this to work. Belief. That was what Henry wanted from Emma.

Fortunately, he was a smart man too, and after centuries of practice, he knew the strategy he has to use to see this through; the strategy to get the man to do this. "Call Henry," he ordered pulling his own phone out of his pocket. "Tell him he needs to go to see Emma right away."

"Why? She's leaving, told me so herself."

"Which is why it's very important she see her son."

"He already knows. What's happening?"

"The Evil Queen has resurrected a favorite curse of hers, the Sleeping Curse. She's realized that she can't kill the Savior because the Curse would be broken, but if she puts her to sleep, in a coma, like David was-"

"Then she'll be stuck here forever."

"She's hidden the potion in something she took to Emma earlier, probably a tart or a pie, something with apples in it-"

"And what, you expect Henry to stop her from eating it." In a manner of speaking. But before he could respond he saw Booth's eyes go dark, and he pulled his head back reeling a bit as he knew he'd discovered the plan himself. "No…you expect Henry to sacrifice himself. You expect him to take it!"

"It's magic Mr. Booth, magic can do very powerful things even when people don't believe in it. If Henry takes the curse himself, if he falls into the Sleep meant for Emma-"

"She might believe. But…then Henry-"

"There are all kinds of love in this world; all kinds of True Love. If she won't believe for a man or for her parents, maybe she can get there for her child."

"But he'll be cursed."

Yes. Yes, he would. And if-when he woke up, there would be side effects to that. But they could be managed. He could help with it. After all, he had no animosity toward the boy whatsoever, at least not until he knew whether or not he was the boy that would lead him back to his son. At the moment, he had no wish to see harm come to him. But he needed August to do this.

"This is the part where you have to be brave, Mr. Booth. This is the part where you have to trust the Dark One."

Still…sometimes people required a bit more. Booth looked as though he was coming around to the idea, but he didn't appear to be there yet. The good news was that when all else failed, he was the Dark One. He knew how to play the game.

"Mr. Booth…you know, more than anyone in this world, that what I want above all else is for the Curse to break, to get magic back into the world. You know why, and not just in an intellectual sense. You don't just know about my son…you know him...don't you?"

He did. He could see it on his face as he sucked his lips in a bit as if trying to hide the truth from him. But then his nostrils flared and he held his head up a little higher and managed a single nod.

"I do."

So there it was. The truth. Baelfire was here. He was out there. And before him was the man who potentially could lead him right to him. Not exactly a boy physically, but age-wise…it was possible he was the one, not Henry. It was possible he was closer than he'd ever been he just had to get this accomplished before Emma decided she was hungry!

"This means we both have something the other wants," he pointed out to Booth. "You know how hard I've worked over the years to get myself back to my son. It's driven me. So let it drive me now. Make the call to Henry, I'll get Emma to believe, to break the Curse, bring Henry back, and bring back magic…in return, you tell me where to find my son. Your part in this is very simple Mr. Booth. It's just one call."

He offered the phone to him. He watched as his chest rose and fell with heavy breathes. He knew he was contemplating, but if he didn't have an answer in a few moments then he was prepared to go over the apartment himself and-

Slowly, Booth managed to grab the phone out of his hand with stiff fingers. He watched as he dialed the number with all the speed of a turtle but late was better than never as he put the gadget to his ear.

"Henry…listen, I need you to check on your mom for me," he explained to Henry as he stared him down. "I'm worried about her but I'm busy with my father and…I don't think she wants to see me and…I don't think I can get to her. Just call her…talk to her…check on her for me." He grimaced as Booth went quiet. "Call her" was not part of the plan. Nonetheless, Booth smiled and before he whispered, "Thanks, buddy."

#Rumbelle #Rumple #Rumpelstiltskin #Dark One #mr gold #August w booth #Pinocchio #Henry Mills #Emma Swan #Regina Mills #Evil Queen #Jefferson #Mad Hatter #Snow White #Prince Charming #Snowing #ouat #ouat fanfiction #fanfic

[cosplayinamerica]

Honest John from Disney's Pinocchio : Juju Creative Cosplay

 I watched Pinocchio for the first time in 15 years back in 2018. I had forgotten how funny some characters were. Honest John and Gideon caught my eye. They were very entertaining and I'm sad Disney didn't do more with them! As a result-- not only did it inspire me to make my Honest John cosplay, but I was inspired to create my own script about the backstory of these two characters. 

I write scripts I hope to one day present to Disney with my manager and agent and this one is called "Foulfellow and company". I have also created a lot of fun original characters and I intend to cosplay one from the story in the future!

I get so many great responses at cons! Sometimes people stand in shock when they see me because its not a character people typically cosplay. It is also a character that appeals to all generations old and young.

I have 2 notable interactions that were very fun:

1. A man in his mid 50s started singing "Hi diddle dee dee" behind me.... I don’t think he expected me to burst out into song, but when i did we went skipping down the hall singing the song and people recorded us and applauded. It was a lot of fun!

2. A small boy came up to me and asked to take a photo. After the photo, I gave him an ace of spades card and told him it was his "ticket to pleasure island". He handed it back to me saying "I'm a good boy who goes to school, but you can send my little brother to pleasure island if you want!"

I couldn’t contain my laughter. The child was about 8 and it was so funny I high five him and gave him a big hug. His parents were so happy. Overall. I believe I get the best interactions with this character because he is very rare. Whenever I cosplay him, i go all out with my impressions and mannerisms. So much so, my boyfriend tells me that I intimidate people! But it's all in good fun

(Photo by @oceania1618)

I had never worked with fur before this point so learning how to sew with fur was a bit of a challenge. The costume itself was pretty simple in my opinion (I have been sewing for years). I made the entire thing from scratch. My favorite prop is probably the top hat he has which I made from foam. Sometimes I put Jimmy Cricket on top of the hat like in the scene where Honest John sings "hi diddle dee dee". The cloak I made for him is fun to wear and there is a little space in between where the tail fits perfectly. To make the tail, I had to use wiring and foam to give it the shape I wanted but overall I was satisfied with how the cosplay turned out!

The quote I associate most with cosplay is "If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself" You have so much room to be creative with cosplays. A lot of people don't know how to sew and prefer their own cosplays which is completely awesome and valid, but I like to have the freedom for creativity in cosplay which is why I make my own. I like being able to design costumes from scratch and then show off the outcome! I've learned a lot of patience in cosplay. If you want something to look the way you want, it's not a good idea to rush it! Take your time and make it yours!

Cosplay is for everyone! It doesn’t matter who you are, what your race is, your your gender, your ethnic background etc... if you love a character and you're scared to cosplay them because you don’t "look" like them.... DO IT ANYWAY. The one rule I have is do not alter your skin if you are white/white passing and you wish to cosplay a character of a different race. Do your research and be respectful. I have cosplayed out of my race for characters without the need to alter my skin, and I do this simply because I love the characters! Never be afraid to express your love for a character regardless of who they are. And of course, make it yours and own it! As long as you are respectful, do your research and do not appropriate any culture, your options are limitless

#Pinocchio #Honest John #Honest John cosplay #Pinocchio cosplay #cosplay #cosplay interview

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S4 Ep1 Part 2: The Soul Stealing Motorcycle Card Gang With an Australian Accent

So a lot of things that happen at once in this episode, and one of the wild things is something that has been building for 3 entire seasons of Yugioh but because all this other stuff is happening, it’s like...secondary. Slowly, we’ve been watching all of these cards becoming more and more real to the point that yes, they are in fact Physical now--other people are noticing, it’s finally happening. the cards are finally real. Magic exists. This is a very big deal.

Like I’ve seen some of y’alls comments about how S4 is kind of crazy and well...cards becoming real was my one and only guess as to what crazy thing could happen in S4 and that happened halfway through the first episode so...it’s all uphill from here

But what’s crazy about this is that although this has been built up for so long,  all our main characters are so freakin distracted, that they look up at the sky and see...youknow...this tapestry here:

And treat it like they’re looking at a flock of really weird birds or something. Like this is world breaking, terrifying, end of the world, Independence Day level red alert and yet instead of the military marching down and shooting lasers at all of these things, everyone is going to just simply walk home.

No one is going to evacuate. Yugi’s Dad isn’t going to show up in a Mad Max style motorcycle in jean cutoffs and be like “I knew it was happening, Son, this is what I’ve been doing for the past 3 years PS, it was worth it now, huh?” no, that isn’t happening.

Instead we’re going to very patiently, and very carefully just not panic and walk home.

Everyone’s just gonna...walk on the sidewalk home, huh? Patiently follow traffic laws? Wait for the light to turn red and everything?

No one even slightly wants to know what any of these monsters taste like? Just me? I mean this is your one opportunity to cook and eat a scapegoat and you know that thing’s got to be delicious under barbecue sauce.

And the funny thing is, people saw this happening and was like “I should call that game company and let them know that there’s real ass dragons that look like their video game flying around.”

Like imagine that Nintendo became real and there’s just...Goombas everywhere. Would I be...calling the Nintendo Hotline?

Hell No. I would be checking all food blogs everywhere for how to roast a Goomba on a grill, because you KNOW those things would be nuts after a few hours in a marinade, draped with fried egg on rice.

But in Yugioh, they’re like calling up Kaiba Corp and hoping that customer service can somehow make the living, breathing dragons and whatever that flying turtle thing was just...stop existing. They’re pretty sure Kaiba can “turn off” the flying monsters.

I think I’m still spelling it wrong, too.

Also, Kuriboh is real now and that...sucks.

That’s a lot of gross hair just flying around and I guarantee it’s gonna give everyone lice. That nasty ass sentient ball of hair you pulled out of your shower drain is just...flying around outside with huge googly eyes.

Freakin sucks. You can’t possibly eat a Kuriboh, it’s way too much hair and I guarantee when you skin that thing it’s like just a meatball to put on the tiniest little skewer and that’s it.

Sorry Bro just informed me that Kuriboh is a ghost??????

???

Also one of the cards is straight up an American Quarter.

I just want to bring up that there’s one (1) cursed ass American Quarter somewhere on Earth and that is going to be a real shocker for the one person that picks up that Quarter and doesn’t realize that when you flip it, it can kill people.

And I just did hunt to figure out what the hell the quarter card is called and I’m starting to think maybe the the show made it up? Wtv my memory is patchy when it comes to the cards.

And for all the cards that are just people but with more muscles, what are they gonna do? Is Dark Magician gonna have to go try and get a reception job to pay the bills? Is anyone going to hire Dark Magician in this economy?

(read more under the cut)

On their pleasurable walk home amongst all the horrible abominations and I guess a couple of bizarre magician hats floating around, they come across...this:

They just left them there in the middle of the street next to this nasty ass Gecko that would ABSOLUTELY eat them.

Also that Gecko...that’s just an alligator that can climb walls, right? Like this is Florida level of insane terrible creature you never want to have climbing walls? That was the one thing we had on alligators--vertical walls.

Youknow, Florida is probably the only place on Earth in this Universe that is actually completely fine.

On the other side of town, Roland is having his best day ever.

I do enjoy that Roland's line was “Mr Kaiba assured me that it’s not their company’s fault” which makes it sound sort of like he had some serious doubts. And might still have some serious doubts. And that he’s so sure that it was Kaiba, that he’s just going to say the “company” isn’t to blame.

And so they decided, well instead of evacuating the city, lets go have dinner at the Muto house. So, they all decided to not check in with everyone else’s parents and family and instead had a fun hang out sesh and watched TV.

They went to school with this guy.

Like they went to school with this guy like a month ago and now he’s giving press conferences in front of a dictator-style tapastry.

The imposter syndrome in Domino High must be pretty wild if you’re always getting compared to Seto Kaiba, is all I’m saying. Maybe that’s why the rest of the class has just decided to drop out.

*Cut to Pegasus’ island where there’s like 80 dead wife zombies running around and Pegasus and Croquet have locked themselves into the bathroom while they watch the zombie wives eat whatever’s left of PaniK.*

It looks like my dream ending of Yugioh, that Seto Kaiba’s company gets sued to hell and back and everyone goes to prison isn’t quite realized yet but it’s looking slowly and surely more real every day.

Kind of surprising that they assume so quickly that Kaiba is lying when they’re sitting next to Pinocchio over here.

So once you think, well...they can’t add more to this episode, no, we’re just gonna straight up knock out Yugi’s Grandpa...again. He needs a life alert. Does Yugi wear a life alert?

And you’d think they’d assume that a monster did this, right? Nah. It’s people. Real ass people did this but not one of the many huge ass monsters that apparently are kind of like Pokémon and don’t feel like doing more than just flap their arms and sit on stuff.

Anyways, the God Cards are gone. Goodbye, Deux ex Machina cards.

Feel a little bad for the one building just directly under the shadow of obelisk, looking up and just seeing a giant, glittery, blue ass.

And then a whole bunch of motorcycles showed up??? Like MOTORCYCLES. And I was like “BRO are they gonna play cards on motorcycles!?” because one of the only reasons I decided “OK Bro, lets actually watch Yugioh” is, and I’ve said this before, because someone mentioned on twitter that they’ll play cards on motorcycles but no.

No one plays cards on motorcycles this episode, they just show up to rev their engines and shine their brights.

Also at least one of them has like the thickest stage Australian accent and it is...rough. He said “bum” once instead of “butt” and you could tell it was just...they said bum to make him sound a little bit more Aussie because we don't really know how to do Australian in the States. We don’t know how this accent works, I’m so sorry.

But anyways, apparently after the God Cards got their energy sapped out, they can now just...be played by whomever? Not entirely clear.

And then they just...drove away.

Like they drove away without even telling them where to go?

And I was like...maybe they just went to that building under construction right there that is...somehow directly across from Yugi’s house which is...directly across from a super wide 12 laned street?

But...that can’t be right, right? I’m sometimes a little confused by the geography of this show but it’s a cartoon and they’re hard to make so we’ll forgive it.

Anyway, while Grandpa Muto counts up the damages to send to the insurance company, they figure out where to go, probably by following the God Cards which are...summoned here like holograms although...they are real? Right?

Like...

...so if there’s monsters just flying around, and it’s all the monsters of the duel monster deck, then there is a version of Slither just hanging out somewhere already, right? Or is the one they summon with the card the real Slither?

The show never thought that hard about it honestly. You can both play duel monster cards which I believe are no longer holograms when you play them and also they just inherently exist now so...Lets not think about it and just go to a brand new fight club roof. You know how much these kids love construction equipment.

Also is this the roof of a freakin IKEA? Look at the size of that thing.

This cultist just begging for Seto Kaiba to run a helicopter straight into him. Which Seto would probably do all over again if Seto were here.

I guess Seto decided to either go the hell to sleep and hope tomorrow will prove today was a bad dream, or he is celebrating the very best day of his life with his brother, sight seeing all the dragons and desperately trying to lure the dragons into his home with carrots under a box trap or something.

This guy ABSOLUTELY does Shakespeare in the park and only gets like minor, very minor roles, right? Like he’s the understudy for King Lear’s manservant who has no speaking lines and just pours water into a cup in one scene? And he takes it VERY seriously?

Yo these side burns.

So bro was like, who do you think would have more product in their hair? This guy or Yugi? And it’s like..well...here’s the thing about Yugi’s hair, he’s got a lot of product, but he has enough scalp to tease the hell out of it. But how do you tease your side burns? How do you tease your side burns so they have the lift of an old timey moustache? you can’t. Those side burns are 90% Elmers glue.

Hello there, offbrand Final Fantasy guy I see you got a Cloud shoulder pad but you wear two of them.

...

It’s a look they chose.

I...there’s a lot going on with all of these looks, especially the guy who is straight up wearing pieces of armor on his shoulders in the middle here for no reason but oh I will get to the looks when we see them in more detail later.

But it’s like, do you think Mr Monocle, who’s only character design trait is a single Monocle, will stay in the show very long? Compared to these guys?

Hm.

I guess we will see.

Thanks, Pegasus.

Thanks for giving us absolutely NO heads up about any of your disaster cards you produced and let loose across the world. Congrats on that. Congrats on printing this freakin card that steals people’s souls and delivering it out there where children could find it in their happy meals.

Like do you think he printed the Orichalcos card before or after the God Cards? Because I’d like to think that he finished up shoving the God Cards onto Ishizu and then was like “phew, crisis averted” and then immediately painted a weird geometric shape and was like “Damn it! I did it again!? Every time I decide not to paint my dead wife I just paint something even worse!”

Anyways, it’s aesthetic takes me back to a much simpler time of my life, and when it shows up the Titanic song pops up in my head? I can’t explain it. It’s just very...very...

It just screams edgy Riverdance to me, maybe it’s just me, but I feel like it should be accompanied by Enya? Just me? The runes just seem very old world Europe.

Bro really wants these to be the runes above Noah’s fireplace and he’s been holding this in for like an entire season, but that’s not going to happen.

Because I have the receipts:

Evidence again that Noah’s fireplace was just what Noah thought art was, since he’s a computer and all. He rendered perfect fire and then got to the art and was like fuuuuuuuuuuu just like anyone else who first gets into Unity.

Anyway, Joey got knocked over, so Pharaoh decided to save his friends and it got him nowhere because, like we already figured out last episode and basically more and more every episode of Yugioh, Pharaoh is a freakin idiot.

So fun fact about the 00′s I’m sure everyone here fondly remembers unless you’re 12 (in which case, why are you on tumblr?) Remember how much we were OBSESSED with glowy blue-green lines and dots on everything in concept art? I really think that trend lasted until about James Cameron’s Avatar when we realized “we took it too far y’all” and then it just kinda died. Still hangs around, but it’s not quite as obvious as the 00′s when it was like “ah I see you have a glowy pastel magicky thingy in your art. A+, lets put it in a grimdark dystopian YA fiction.”

...It was a phase and seeing this shade of green as a glow just really brings me back to the halcyon days of a little less than 10 years ago. It’s very something that would have been in steampunk.

They also get this logo on their head when they use this card, just like Pharaoh but significantly less cool. And it’s on all this guy’s monsters too, so everyone gets the power of branding. With this logo that looks like a joke Portlandia would make about indie logos.

Pharaoh kind of shrugs this off because like...his soul lives in a freakin necklace and he has magic so...whatever.

And then we get the full cheese spread--look at this cheese!

WOWOWOWOW

Look at Dieselpunk Amelie! Here I thought that now Marik wasn’t around we’d have no more stupid crop tops, but it’s back and man I am so happy it’s back. Damn. Everyone has a popped collar covered in as many square inches of belts as they could fit on em. Belts just hanging off willy nilly in every direction so you can barely walk through a hallway without your belt slapping on the edges. Them walking through a revolving door must be the most dangerous game outside of Duel Monsters.

woah.

Oh man, and I didn’t even noticed that they made the middle guy ripped as hell for no reason. His arm looks like a Payday candybar.

But MAN.

Someone give that guy on the right a sword the size of himself because...holy hell his jacket is so massive that it has an accordion shoulder pad for some reason???

Oh shoot I didn’t even realize guy on the right has about 6 rivets on his fingerless gloves, too. Wow.

Oh man it’s a lot to take in.

Do you see em? Do you see how many weird ass accessories are all over these characters these underpaid animators will have to draw SO MANY TIMES?

Oh man, the poor cosplayers! It must be so hard to go from Bandit Keith--a fairly easy cosplay--to the Accordian shouldered 11-belted jacket on Mr I-Dare-You-To-Cosplay-These-Sideburns.

And then this guy screws himself:

I’m not gonna add him to the Yugioh Death Counter yet, but I have a feeling, especially after seeing how few belts this guy has on...I just have a really strong feeling he’s absolutely going to die.

Goodbye, normal guy, you were too normie for this bizarre world.

Anyway, feel free to leave in the comments, if Yugioh cards became real, which one would you immediately eat and how? (and we can count plant cards as actual plants for the vegans, even if they can talk or whatev--them’s plants, they’re kosher.)

(realizes I have no idea if there’s even plant type cards in Yugioh or if that’s just a pokemon thing)

Anyway that’s all for now but if you just got here, this is a link to read all my Yugioh recaps in Chrono Order, fair warning...this is S4.

#yugioh #ygo #yugioh recap #photo recap #S4 #S4 ep1 #gurimo #yugi muto #joey wheeler #grandpa muto #tea gardner #tristan taylor #I don't know the name of the three new dudes yet #but wow they have more belts on than my local old navy #cameo by Seto Kaiba #who is somehow not seeing a lawsuit yet

[lovelikelex]

Christopher Robin

I have never talked in-depth about my experiences at Walt Disney World. I never felt like I ever had to. The funny thing is, I noticed before I left for Orlando that I was always feeling like I had to compensate for something. The way I looked, the way I acted, the way I loved. As I have stated in previous blogs, this journey in healing and accepting that I wasn’t perfect and that not everyone would like me began in late May/Early June. Everyone thinks it all started with the initial move to Orlando or the job that was mentally and physically demanding, but no. This journey began surprisingly with a bear and a tiger.

Upon my arrival at Disney, I felt very... empty. Did you know that sometimes adjectives like empty can be feelings? Have you ever felt that way? Maybe when a pet passed away or when you had to move schools or if your parents got into a fight? I felt empty and hurt. And all of those feelings of past frustration and anger and sadness left me in my room a few days after my arrival. Rather than cause a scene or lash out, I took time to defect on my past behavior. Sometimes, people who have mental/emotional problems lash out when they really want to love others because it’s all that they know to do. I’m wondering, friend, did you ever do that before? Did you ever say something mean or rude about someone who was just trying to help you or be your friend? Did you ever accidentally lash out on someone when they only wanted to love you? These are normal things, I assure you. But because I had no outlet to help me with those issues, I often did these things. I felt extremely bad afterward. I often did this as a child too. I would have meltdowns so severe that I would tear posters off of my wall, kick and scream, refuse to eat, hit and kick and even hurt myself. Yes, it is hard and sad to admit. These compulsive behaviors were all that I knew. And each time that I would hit or kick or get angry and yell, I would secretly find myself crying in my room feeling bad about what I had just done but couldn’t help... that, my friend, is emptiness. I am not ashamed to say that though I don’t scream and kick or hit anymore (thank god), I still find it sometimes hard to manage those feelings and issues that come into play.

After unpacking and spending that time reflecting on my anger, sadness, and inability to cope, I said out loud to whoever could’ve listened “I don’t ever want to be that bitter, angry, and mean person again. I want to love and to be loved - to show other people how much they matter and to know deep inside that I am better for it. When I wake up, I will be a different person.” And I was.

After my first week of training, I was thinking of what I could do on my next two days off for some fun. I put on some clothes, and I headed to one of my favorite parks, Magic Kingdom. When I arrived, I went on a few rides and soaked up the environment around me. I was not expecting that day for what came next. As I walked toward the teacups, I caught a Glimpse of Winnie The Pooh and Tigger - two of my most favorite characters growing up. As I looked at them in that seemingly long line, I took a moment to reflect on all of the times that I would rewind my VHS tape of Pooh’s Grand Adventure as a child. I thought of every morning that I grabbed my Pooh and tigger stuffed animals off of my bed and placed them onto the couch as I went into my own special place in my head, dancing away to the music in The Many Adventures Of Winnie The Pooh. But more than anything, my heart ached for that child I was so many years ago, crying and begging out loud “why can’t you come play with me?” As I stared at the tv in utter disbelief that I had absolutely no friends due to the compulsive behaviors that I utterly could not help or control. And as I saw that child in my head, I hugged him briefly for a moment in my heart before hopping into the line and waiting my turn to finally hug my two virtual “best friends” from the tv.

I ran into Tiggers arms, as he had always been my favorite next to beloved Pooh Bear. I told the characters how much they had meant to me, shed a few tears, gave my hugs and kisses. I told them how much they mattered and they listened to every word, holding my small sweaty hands as tight as they could. That was the first day of my mission to love and to be loved. As I walked away with watery eyes, a character attendant chased me down the sidewalk frantically. Smiling, she said “Pooh and Tigger just wanted me to tell you that they Love you exactly as you are. They were so happy to see you and they hope you come back to see them sometime.” At that point, no one had any idea that I worked for the company. They simply thought that I was a child. It’s kind of funny to think about, but also endearing. Childlike wonder is one of the purest things in the world. After that, an idea came to me: I went to Walmart with a friend one night and gathered up a yellow polo shirt and some navy blue shorts with some knee-high socks.

The next day, I went to the Crystal Palace Character dining as Christopher Robin. The whole restaurant stared in awe as I made my way to my seat. And one by one, my hundred acre friends were so excited to see me. It made me smile to feel such positive energy around me. After the breakfast, I went to a gift shop and I found this raggedy-looking, original Tigger and I had to have him. He was $35 without my 20% cast discount. He was the very first merchandise item that I ever bought at Walt Disney world and he hasn’t left my side since. After that, it was back in line to see Tigger and Pooh at their usual meeting spot. I waited 45 minutes patiently and it was hard for me. Sometimes I have found that when we are waiting, we want to rush. That is never okay. Rushing is rude and sloppy. Sure, we want to rush, and sometimes we even have to rush, but it’s always nice to wait our turn and to take our time.

As my turn approached, tigger and Pooh were so surprised and in awe at the cute little outfit that I was wearing. The photos above were taken the second time I had ever met tigger and Pooh. Tigger was attacking me with cuddles and kisses and tickles and Pooh was just as soft and cuddly as the day before. I was developing a love in my heart for these very special character friends that could never be broken.

After that day, I wore that Christopher Robin outfit almost everywhere I went, and people started talking. Entertainment started noticing and it was becoming a big deal. I started to get noticed everywhere I was as Christopher Robin. Nobody even knew my real name until I started my postings on the special Facebook group for people who were involved in the same internship as I was. I would even get recognized at Walgreen’s or at my Job. It felt great to know that people were being kind to one another and loving each other the way that I had wanted since that night that I had prayed about it.

I visited Pooh and tigger every chance I got. Sometimes 3 times a week or more. And my love was eventually spread to ALL characters that I visited weekly. I became a friendly face to all of those wonderful entertainment folks and I was always sure to visit every single character when I went to a park to ensure that I wouldn’t hurt anyone’s feelings. Some of my favorite characters were always Elena, Tiana, and Launchpad McQuack. I also enjoyed seeing Peter Pan.

One day, upon my reflecting which I did often, I came across a very special song in Mister Roger’s Neighborhood - one of my special interests and shows that I enjoyed when I was younger. It’s called “I like you as you are” I will write the lyrics down below:

🎶I like you as you are

Exactly and precisely

I think you turned out nicely

And I like you as you are

I like you as you are

Without a doubt or question

Or even a suggestion

Cause I like you as you are

I like your disposition

Your facial composition

And with your kind permission

I'll shout it to a star

I like you as you are

I wouldn't want to change you

Or even rearrange you

Not by far

I like you

I-L-I-K-E-Y-O-U

I like you, yes I do

I like you, Y-O-U

I like you, like you as you are 🎶

I sang this song to Mickey and Minnie one August day in Town Square Theater, and they enjoyed it very much. So much that I could feel them both sobbing onto me as I held onto each one of them and reminded them that they were so special. I looked them into the eye and told them that I loved them exactly as they were and that they never had to do anything extraordinary like put on a funny hat or sing a funny song for me to love them. I remembered the photopass cast member, Meredith, whom I did not know at the time, sobbing her eyes out at the “selfless act of love” and affirming words that she later described to me in a well-written letter, thanking me for what I had done. I hugged Meredith that day, and I told her that I loved her as she was and that there was only one person on earth like her. Did I say that to gain attention? No. I said that to Meredith because she deserved to hear that. Don’t we all? How much is it to ask to simply remind others how proud you are of them? And how much you enjoy being around them?

That song followed me throughout the rest of my internship and I sang it every time after that encounter with Meredith, Mickey and Minnie. And I delivered affirmations each time after that reminding my character friends and former cast members how much I openly, fiercely, freely and unapologetically loved each and every one of them without the expectation to gain something from that love that I had given.

When fall arrived, I was having a hard time coping with my job, but I still made time for the weekly visits to the characters. I started dressing up more frequently and as other characters due to the Halloween Party pass I had. I had so many different outfits - Peter Pan, Pinocchio, Mickey Mouse, Tigger, Pooh, Mister Rogers, and of course my old friend, Christopher Robin whom I never forgot about.

My friend Shay even organized a birthday party where several of my entertainment friends showed up. There was a Winnie The Pooh cake and some decorations and even some gifts. Most of it was beautiful art that I still have, and by that time I had completed the Winnie The Pooh Original stuffed animal collection I had mentioned earlier. Tigger now had Pooh, Piglet and Eeyore to keep him company. I wa grateful to had spent my birthday around so many people who mattered to me and who reminded me how special I was. For once in my life, that child from my heart so many years ago that longed for friends, finally got his one true wish.

Months had passed, and I had all of these special bonds with all of my favorite character friends. My friend Koda from Brother Bear was another bear-y good friend I liked to visit. I used to come to the dance party in animal kingdom back in June/July and just watch Koda from the sidelines, too anxious to say hi, until one day Koda came to me. I attended the dance party once a week after that. Koda and my character captain friend Lisa even got me a little Koda Bear as a gift after the dance party had ended due to a lack in entertainment funds and Koda had to go away. Though I was heartbroken, I was thankful for the special one-on-one time that they always allowed me to have with my friend.

After Fall left, I knew that my mission was over and that my message was fulfilled. My last week at Disney was my most favorite but most painful goodbye I think I ever experienced. It started at Animal Kingdom with a visit to Launchpad McQuack - one of my most beloved characters. I looked into his eyes one more time, and reminded him how much I loved him while delivering the affirmation that had grown on me in those seven months: “did you know that you make so many days so special for so many people? Just by being yourself. There is only one person in the whole world exactly like you and people can like you exactly as you are” choked up, I could feel my throat swelling up as I blinked and tears fell from my eyes while singing one last time “I like you as you are... exactly and precisely..” I sobbed my eyes out as I walked on to my next goodbye. That was when the entertainment leader had come out and said that she had a day filled with surprises for me. I got to say goodbye to all of my favorite fab five pals like Goofy, Donald, Daisy, chip n Dale.. they all surprised me with a big group hugs. I could feel them all, specifically Donald, sobbing next to me as I said again for one last time “you have made these seven months the most SPECIAL seven months.. by just you’re being you!” Sang my song and grabbed a few more photos before begging led to every single character in animal kingdom. My heart was truly touched at the way I was treated with such profound kindness that day.

After that, shay brody and my “new dad Scott” made our way to Magic Kingdom to say goodbye to my friends Tigger and Pooh. I don’t even remember being able to speak at first because I was just so heartbroken, so instead, I began to faintly sing “I like you as you are....” my tears interrupted me as I sobbed gasping for air and never wanting to leave the side of the two furry friends who helped change me for the better. For the last time for a while, I reminded pooh and tigger how much I loved them. I thanked them for their friendship and gave them each one last kiss on the nose. I was allowed to walk with them back to their special spot near backstage area. One last hug, one last affirmation, and one last kiss and then that chapter in my adventure book had ended.

I was always so thankful for every good thing that everyone did while thinking of me and my mission to LOVE while I was in Orlando. Learning to love others and to be loved was my greatest achievement. I am proud to have been an assett and to have mattered to that company and community, but now, it’s time to move on to school and to love even more and to show what I learned while I was gone. I still often think of Christopher Robin. I am thankful for him and although he is tucked away for now, he is always with me - just like those special memories with pooh and tigger and the other phenomenal entertainment folks of Walt Disney world.

One more thing before I sign off for the night, you have made this day so special for me. Just by being you. There is no one else on earth exactly like you, and I like you exactly as you are. In fact, that’s what makes you so great. You’re you and I’m Me. We are still able to grow and to love even at 20 years old or 45 or even 100. Don’t ever lose that sense of childlike wonder, internet neighbor.

#mister rogers neighborhood #mister rogers #disney #tigger #pooh's adventures #pooh #winnie the pooh #piglet #eeyore #walt disney #wdw #wdwresort #dcp #dcp 2020 #dcp 2019 #disney college program #lovelikelex #love #self love #forgiveness #you are forgiven #all is forgiven #anger #anger is a gift #hurt #sadness #asd #actually autistic #autism #autistic

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #201

Tues Aug 27 2019 [12:08 AM] Wack'd: So this is the last regular issue of 1978 [12:08 AM] Wack'd: There's also an annual. And also last year's annual because there's literally no room in 1977 or 1978 for it to have happened, so Marvel Wiki shoved it here [12:10 AM] Wack'd: We opened with us still being in Latveria! Okay, sure [12:10 AM] Wack'd: Definitely the outfit of a man who's planning on putting together some meaningful democratic elections

[12:11 AM] maxwellelvis: That hat looks familiar... [12:11 AM] Wack'd: But he confirms he is. He's real happy that political parties are forming and that there's "fighting and endless squabbling" because it means progress is happening [12:12 AM] Wack'd: Political parties never result in anything bad happening, ever, especially when they hate each other's guts [12:12 AM] Umbramatic: yes [12:12 AM] maxwellelvis: SupercalifragalisticexpielaWACKY! [12:13 AM] Wack'd: So the team returns to the Baxter Building, mostly because it's the only place in NY they can put the Pogo Plane [12:13 AM] Wack'd: Reed is still kinda iffy on reforming the team, which naturally everyone rolls their eyes at [12:14 AM] Wack'd: Collins is there to greet them! Good old Collins [12:15 AM] Wack'd: Even though the Four are a damn nuisance there's literally no one who wants to rent the Four's old headquarters, for fear of supervillain attacks, so he offers to let them back in..."for, ahem, a raise in the basic rent, of course, to make up for my losses" [12:15 AM] maxwellelvis: Yer a peach, Collins [12:15 AM] Wack'd: Ben is like "actually, fuck you, we want the rent lowered, a promise that the heat will stay on, and a promise of no solicitors" [12:16 AM] Wack'd: Collins...doesn't really have a choice unless he wants to keep losing money on like a sixth of the building [12:17 AM] maxwellelvis: Y'know, I think I'd take Mr. Ditkovich as my landlord over Collins. [12:17 AM] maxwellelvis: How about you guys? [12:17 AM] Wack'd: And so within the day contractors are on the scene to get the Four back in working order [12:17 AM] Wack'd: Just, uh, regular ol' contractors, apparently! Who are a little baffled by Reed's talk of "ion displacer cables" and "Negative Zone locking mechanisms" [12:18 AM] Wack'd: But they're doing their best [12:20 AM] Wack'd: Johnny maybe you're not having any luck on the dating scene lately because you're a misogynist

[12:21 AM] maxwellelvis: Frommage? Sue, I think you've been swindled. [12:21 AM] Wack'd: She means From Mage. It's a magic dress [12:21 AM] Wack'd: It's actually really impressive Johnny managed to set it on fire [12:22 AM] Wack'd: Hey hey! A good ol' fashioned Baxter cutaway. I've missed these.

[12:23 AM] Wack'd: And, for the first time, an acknowledgment that the building has two other walls on which rooms can be constructed [12:23 AM] maxwellelvis: Interesting that Ben's quarters are marked "when he's staying at the building" [12:23 AM] maxwellelvis: and also "Room X" [12:24 AM] maxwellelvis: Bet we're going in there soon. [12:24 AM] Wack'd: Ben and Alicia are living together, presumably. [12:24 AM] Wack'd: In siiiiiiin [12:24 AM] maxwellelvis: If it's good enough for Sweet Aunt Petunia, it's good enough for them, I guess. [12:24 AM] Wack'd: So, uh [12:24 AM] Wack'd: Franklin is now ten years old, assuming time is still moving [12:25 AM] maxwellelvis: You'd think that it is, and yet... [12:25 AM] Wack'd: He still has a crib. And a door that opens directly into his parents room [12:25 AM] Bocaj: Room X FROM OUTER SPACE [12:25 AM] Wack'd: But I think my favorite detail is--and I'll admit there's maybe no way to avoid this problem--there's a rocket launch pad right next to Franklin's room [12:26 AM] Bocaj: Amazing [12:26 AM] Wack'd: That kid is gonna have some sleepless nights [12:26 AM] maxwellelvis: Maybe that's how Comic Book Time gets you. It creeps in, in small doses at first, until you have something like that staring you in the face. [12:26 AM] Wack'd: I mean probably that makes a fuckton of noise wherever you put it but Franklin needs ten hours a night! He's a growing boy! [12:26 AM] Wack'd: Right next to his room is by far the worst option! [12:27 AM] Wack'd: Also, hey. No place for Agatha. So I guess we're done with her being a live-in nanny [12:27 AM] Wack'd: In fairness Franklin is back to having the regular presence of two parents. In theory [12:28 AM] Wack'd: So back to the story [12:29 AM] maxwellelvis: She might be living down the way at Avengers Mansion. [12:29 AM] Wack'd: Reed, the police exist to oppress minorities. And other superheroes...are probably fine, relatively, that's a good point. NYC is fucking packed

[12:30 AM] Wack'd: Anyway Reed is attacked by "Microbe 201-B" and now I want to see them try and shoehorn the issue number into every story somehow [12:31 AM] Wack'd: 201-B has grown a lot and escaped its test tube, baffling Reed [12:31 AM] Wack'd: This is probably why you don't hire normal contractors to set up a superscience lab [12:32 AM] Wack'd: Anyway 201-B eats Reed. Bye Reed [12:32 AM] maxwellelvis: Oh no, it's the Intruder! Everyone run! [12:33 AM] Wack'd: Ben and Sue are also attacked [12:33 AM] Wack'd: Ben by his own superscience exercise equipment and Sue by lasers and then a water main break [12:35 AM] Wack'd: Sue, honey, you spent 20 issues divorced and another ten with the team splitting up and got basically no character development. Being away from the team does not guarantee you an interesting arc

[12:36 AM] Wack'd: Johnny is also attacked. But also these are his thoughts so something big is coming, maybe, possibly.

[12:36 AM] Wack'd: Johnny is attacked by fire extinguisher foam because of course he is [12:37 AM] Wack'd: But he manages to escape by flying outside the building and manages to rescue Ben and Sue [12:37 AM] Wack'd: Sue who, I'll remind you, was attacked by a burst pipe [12:37 AM] Wack'd: And is unconscious in a pool of water when they find her [12:38 AM] Wack'd: Reed has escaped from being ate off-panel and is now instructing Johnny to go shut down the main power core [12:39 AM] Wack'd: Johnny is immediately taken out by some gas traps because obviously the main power core is booby-trapped, c'mon [12:40 AM] Wack'd: So Sue goes in after him and manages to stop all the traps with her force field. There's a sequence code to turn off the main power core that if you get it wrong it explodes, because sure [12:40 AM] Wack'd: The obvious solution is to put in the wrong code on purpose and then contain the explosion with a force field so she does that [12:40 AM] Bocaj: This is why you more carefully choose contractors [12:41 AM] Wack'd: If that's the moral of the issue I will be mildly shocked [12:41 AM] Wack'd: I totally believe any given Marvel writer would have a bad experience getting their home fixed and then write a mean-spirited story about it [12:42 AM] Wack'd: So Reed goes over the computer and finds no problems but is gonna call Tony Stark to look them over [12:42 AM] Bocaj: I like the guy but Tony Stark is the last person you should call about a computer malfunction [12:42 AM] Wack'd: Tony Stark: the best at knowing when machines have turned evil [12:42 AM] Bocaj: His whole life is a computer malfunction [12:43 AM] Bocaj: You'd think it would give him expertise but consider also that it keeps happening and never stops from happening [12:43 AM] Wack'd:

[12:43 AM] Wack'd: A few things to note here: [12:44 AM] Wack'd: 1. Yes, those were Ben's exact words. Which means Ben was making fun of "with great power comes great responsibility" like half a year before it was a thing. [12:44 AM] Wack'd: Anyone who doesn't like when Marvel gets self-deprecating or too meta can shove it [12:45 AM] Wack'd: 2. This is still a hilariously simple rationale for getting the team back together, especially since it has nothing to do with why the team split up and only addresses concerns that were first raised this very issue [12:46 AM] Wack'd: 3. Steve Martin was presumably real big in 1978 [12:46 AM] maxwellelvis: He was, actually [12:47 AM] Wack'd: 4. "The Osmond family" is still a metanym for wholesome togetherness. I don't think I need to tell any of you that's not gonna last very long, which is fine, because the Four aren't a very "wholesome togetherness" kinda group anyway [12:47 AM] Bocaj: They get more wholesomeishesque as time goes on [12:48 AM] Bocaj: At least they have a very dangerous edge in the early stuff [12:48 AM] maxwellelvis: The late 1970's is exactly when Steve Martin was at his peak, at least strictly as a comedian [12:48 AM] Wack'd: It's weird when rosy memories of a thing retroactively whitewash their sharper edges. Happened with Jiminy Cricket and Kermit the Frog something fierce [12:49 AM] maxwellelvis: Oh yeah, I remember Jiminy Cricket being surprisingly horny. [12:49 AM] Bocaj: wut [12:49 AM] Wack'd: He's also kind of a snarky asshole, too [12:49 AM] maxwellelvis: Especially to that rotten Lampwick kid. [12:49 AM] Wack'd: Most of his moralizing at Pinocchio takes the form of yelling or lectures or just making fun of him [12:50 AM] maxwellelvis: He HATED that boy. Not Pinocchio, Lampwick. [12:50 AM] Wack'd: Anyway I think the Four are mostly wholesome by comparison? Like Bart Simpson. They're never gonna be flawless role models but as time goes on and you can depict more bad stuff they slowly slide towards the acceptable end of edginess [12:51 AM] Wack'd: Like, they're closer to Mickey Mouse than Deadpool but mostly because Deadpool is waaaaay out in the deep end [12:51 AM] KarkatTheDalek: Bart isn't that wholesome [12:51 AM] Wack'd: Yeah but compared to. I dunno. Stewie Griffin. Which is a real comparison Family Guy spent like an hour making that one time. Also Cartman which is something South Park also got into [12:51 AM] maxwellelvis: He isn't the iconoclast he was in 1989 anymore either, Karkat [12:52 AM] Wack'd: Edgy cartoons love making fun of how mundane Bart's troublemaking is [12:52 AM] KarkatTheDalek: That is true [12:52 AM] Bocaj: It has the same energy as Spawn declaring that "Only SISSIES change their costumes in a phone booth" [12:53 AM] Bocaj: It immediately fills me with disdain towards the property trying to be so edgy in comparison [12:53 AM] KarkatTheDalek: But I do recall an episode where they were at the dentist, and Bart saw Skinner loopy on the laughing gas, so he went in, pretended to be the dentist, then practically beat the shit out of him before pointing the x-ray machine directly at his balls [12:53 AM] Wack'd: We're getting off track [12:53 AM] KarkatTheDalek: Probably, yes

#1978 #Marv Wolfman #Keith Pollard #The Main Book

[stahlop]

Once Upon a Time 1x20 “The Stranger” Review

Reviews 1x01 1x02 1x03 1x04 1x05 1x06 1x07 1x08 1x09 1x10 1x11 1x12 1x13 1x14 1x15 1x16 1x17 1x18 1x19

We have finally found out who August is! He is Pinocchio! And also the 7-year-old boy that ‘found’ Emma on the side of the road when she was just a baby! Who also abandoned her later on. I don’t know about you, but I’m not a huge August fan. Technically, he’s only back to get Emma to break the curse because he knows he’s a huge screw up and he doesn’t want to turn back into wood. If the wood thing wasn’t happening would he even be there to help her? Would he even care? But onto the review.

Summary: August takes Emma to the place she was found as a baby to get her to see the bigger picture in her fight against Regina and makes some startling revelations to Emma. In the EF we see that two people could go through the enchanted wardrobe and Geppetto negotiates with the Blue Fairy that Pinocchio be the one to go.

Opening: Jiminy Cricket

Character Observations: 

August/Pinocchio: So if the viewers haven’t ascertained who August was back in the EF, this first scene pretty much tells you. August, the writer, has just finished installing a new lock on Mary Margaret and Emma’s apartment door. August claims he learned how to build locks in woodshop. Ok then.  They discuss Emma fighting for custody of Henry until Henry walkie-talkies a code red.  August follows Emma and tells her she needs to look at the big picture to beat Regina and wants to take her somewhere. August wants her to take a leap of faith. She says Henry needs her, she doesn’t have time for faith. August looks like he doesn’t know what to do next. Next we see August fondling the hat we’ve seen Pinocchio wear in flashbacks, in case you still weren’t sure. He calls Gold and says they need to talk. Pretty bold way to talk to someone who had a knife to your throat a few days ago. His leg starts hurting again and now we finally see why. His leg has started turning into wood!! August goes to Gold’s shop where Marco is looking at a cuckoo clock Gold wants fixed. August’s face when looking at Marco is so full of angst and guilt. Some great acting here from Eion Bailey. If Gold wasn’t sure who August was before, August’s face and stuttering when seeing Marco definitely clinches it. Gold wants to know why August isn’t getting Emma to believe since he seems to be under a time crunch with his ‘dying’ and all. August says she’s too busy trying to fight for Henry and will be coming to Gold for legal advice. Gold says he’ll steer her toward August. August says he’ll get Emma there, trust him. Gold finds that very funny knowing who August is, but he’ll give her a nudge in the right direction. Emma comes to August so he can show her the big picture. They take his motorcycle outside of Storybrooke to learn August’s story. They go to a diner. Emma is pissed because she recognizes it as the diner she was brought to when she was found as a baby. August explains he was the boy that found her. They walk toward the tree they came through. Emma is arguing that she was found near the highway, not a magic tree. He says he had to lie about where he found her. Tells her about her baby blanket and that he’s Pinocchio. She figures out he added the story to Henry’s book. August says he needs her to know the truth. Everything will end once she believes. Emma, predictably, runs off, but, of course, that’s when August’s wooden leg starts giving him pain. He’s upset because he failed with her. He tells her it doesn’t matter if she believes or not because it’s still real. He’s sick. He was in Phuket when Emma decided to stay in Storybrooke and he woke up to a shooting pain in his leg at exactly 8:15 pm Storybrooke time. August shows Emma his leg, she only sees a leg, she doesn’t see that it’s turned into wood. He tells her she is in denial. He tells her everyone needs her. Emma doesn’t want that responsibility.  August says that doesn’t change the truth. Emma says they’re all screwed then. August goes to visit Marco who is having trouble fixing the clock Gold gave him to fix. August gives him the same advice he once had given him. They have a heart to heart where Marco basically tells him that he did his best, he made a mistake and he tried to fix it, and if he had a son that would be enough for him. August offers to be his assistant.

Pinocchio: We all know the story of Pinocchio. A wooden puppet brought to life who learns a series of life lessons because he can’t listen to his father. He has a nose that grows when he lies. And eventually he saves his father when he gets eaten by a whale and for that bravery, he is granted the wish of becoming a real boy by the Blue Fairy, the latter part we see here in this episode. The Blue Fairy says he must be brave, truthful, and unselfish, and as long as he does so, he will stay a real boy. Way to put pressure on a 7-year-old. I know very few kids that age that are brave, truthful, and unselfish. That’s something they have to learn and grow into. Not basically threaten them that they won’t be real anymore. Geez! Next we see Pinocchio helping Geppetto fix a cuckoo clock and when it opens, Jiminy Cricket tied up inside. Geppetto reminds him about what the Blue Fairy said. And speaking of the Blue Fairy, she arrives to let Geppetto know that the curse is coming and about the enchanted tree. They all go see it and the Blue Fairy lets them know it will protect two people. What? Geppetto wants Pinocchio to go through with a pregnant Snow. We see Pinocchio in the War Council sanding his wooden whale, then we see the curse coming. The Blue Fairy tells them that Snow’s baby came early so Pinocchio can’t go through anymore. Pinocchio wants to tell Snow that two can go through so she and the baby can go over together. Geppetto makes him get in the wardrobe and tells him to watch over the princess. Pinocchio tells Geppetto he told him not to lie. He says sometimes you have to lie to protect people. He tells Pinocchio to be the baby’s protector. Pinocchio doesn’t want to leave. Geppetto makes him promise to get the princess to believe and closes the wardrobe door. Pinocchio blasts out of a tree in the Land without Magic. He freaks out when he sees a plane flying overhead. He’s then knocked out by a rainbow shockwave and baby Emma is now in the tree. We see that he and Emma were put into a foster home. Pinocchio is trying to be helpful by fixing Emma’s crib, but the foster father yells at him and threatens him about touching his tools. Another kid has stolen some money and wants Pinocchio to runaway with him and the other kids. He hesitates because of Emma, but ends up leaving. Ok, that is a lot of pressure to put on a kid. I’m sorry. I don’t blame Pinocchio for leaving Emma. He has no idea what kind of life she’ll have, but he’s seven. And he hasn’t even been a real boy for that long. He didn’t even want to leave his father in the first place.

Geppetto/Marco: We see the ending of the Pinocchio story that we know. Geppetto has just been rescued by Pinocchio from the whale and the whale isn’t happy and they end up washed up on shore. Geppetto wishes he could save Pinocchio and the Blue Fairy appears and grants his wish by turning Pinocchio into a real boy for being so brave. Now it’s time for the curse. The Blue Fairy comes to Geppetto before the Charmings to ask him about building the wardrobe. She tells him that two people can go through it, obviously pregnant Snow and Charming, but Geppetto is afraid Pinocchio will be turned back into wood when the curse hits. The Blue Fairy says she doesn’t know what will happen. Geppetto says he wants Pinocchio to take the second spot and that Snow can raise the baby without her husband. Jiminy argues with him about this, but he says that after what he did to his parents his debt can never be fulfilled to him, and to butt out. The Blue Fairy agrees to his terms. I don’t understand Geppetto’s negotiation tactics. The curse is coming, and he is asked to build a wardrobe out of a magical tree to whisk the Charmings away to a land without magic, so their baby can eventually break the curse. Geppetto is worried that Pinocchio will get turned back into wood when the curse comes, so he negotiates with the Blue Fairy that he won’t build it unless Pinocchio gets to go through the wardrobe as well. But if he doesn’t build the wardrobe, Pinocchio will still get turned into wood. Then we see the War Council scene and looks like Geppetto is being asked for the first time from the Blue Fairy to build a wardrobe, but now we know better. We go to the curse coming. The Blue Fairy tells Geppetto that Snow gave birth to the baby early and has to go in the wardrobe with her. Geppetto says they made a deal. The Blue Fairy doesn’t want to argue. She has other things to do and tasks Geppetto with telling Snow the truth about how many the wardrobe can hold. Seriously? Geppetto tells Pinocchio to get in the wardrobe and tells him he needs to protect the baby and makes him promise to get her to believe. I get that Geppetto was scared for Pinocchio, but what parent in their right mind sends their 7-year-old off with a newborn? A 7-year-old who has the worst track record when it comes to responsibility? Worst plan ever.

We don’t really see much of Marco. Gold wants him to fix a cuckoo clock for him, but it’s really just a ploy to see August’s reaction to him since he suspects August in Pinocchio. Then August goes and has a talk with him, in which Marco says he would forgive a son for whatever it is August did since he did try and fix his mistake. 

Emma: She is in full mama bear mode. Mary Margaret asks Emma if she’s sure she is ready to be a mother. Emma says yes. Then they are interrupted by Henry calling a Code Red for Operation Cobra over the walkie-talkie. She meets him at Granny’s. Henry noticed there is new, unfinished story in the book. It’s Pinocchio. Emma goes to Gold and asks him to help her take Henry away from Regina. He won’t help her. They can’t prove any of the accusations Emma has against her and he knows how to pick his battles. She goes to August so he can show her the big picture. They go off on August’s motorcycle and leave Storybrooke. They go to a roadside diner and Emma is pissed. She thinks August is screwing with her because it’s the diner she was brought to when she was discovered as a baby. August tells her it’s his story too. He’s the 7-year-old who found her. Not what Emma was expecting. August brings her into the woods. He tells her he is showing her where she was found. She says it couldn’t be him because she was found on the side of the highway. He asks her if it ever occurred to her that the boy lied about where he found her. She says it occurs to her that he’s been lying to her about everything and she’s done listening to him. He says he knows about her baby blanket. That gets her to listen. He reminds her about Henry’s book and how she came into this world, that they both came to this world through the tree. He tells her he’s Pinocchio. She says that explains all the lying. Emma realizes August added the story to the book. He needed her to know the truth. She thinks he’s crazy; why didn’t he write the ending. He says the ending is her believing. Emma has had enough. She runs off, but August’s leg starts hurting him. She wants to know what’s wrong with his leg. He says he failed, tells her the story of Phuket, and shows her his wooden leg. Emma still thinks Henry’s curse talk is pure fantasy, so she doesn’t see a wooden leg, she sees a normal leg. Just like when Graham thought he didn’t have a heart Emma could hear a heartbeat. August tells her she needs to believe, everyone needs her to believe. Emma doesn’t want that responsibility. August throws out that she didn’t want Henry either and now she’s fighting for him. She says that’s all she can handle. And if everyone is relying on her then they’re all screwed. Back in Storybrooke, Emma wakes up Henry over the walkie-talkie. He gets in her car and she tells him to buckle up because they’re leaving town! Honestly, by this point, I’d think Emma might start believing. Henry’s been trying to get her to believe, she was kidnapped by Jefferson who talked about believing, and now August. Can she really think that all these people are just crazy?

Blue Fairy: Um, she put the most insane restrictions on a puppet turned boy that had done nothing but be bad up to this point. She made a bullshit deal with Geppetto to get the magical tree turned into a wardrobe. She then lied to Snow and Charming about how many people could go through the wardrobe. Then she left when she knew Geppetto wasn’t going to abandon having Pinocchio go through that wardrobe. So far the Blue Fairy hasn’t done anything to make me like her. She just makes bad decisions and choices all the time.

Regina: She talks to Mary Margaret at school because Henry has forgotten his lunch. Mary Margaret calmly informs her that Henry is with his mother. Regina wants to know if something is wrong. Mary Margaret says that someone went to an awful lot of trouble to set her up. Regina reminds her that was Sidney. Mary Margaret says she knows it wasn’t, but she forgives her anyway. Why is Regina acting like she didn’t tell Mary Margaret she knew she was innocent but she was going to pay for what she did anyway? Henry arrives and Regina tells him she thinks he should transfer to another class. He wants to know if it’s because she tried to frame Mary Margaret. Regina actually looks hurt that Henry could believe that of her. He says of course he believes it, she’s the Evil Queen. She says she’s lucky she doesn’t get Mary Margaret fired for giving him the story book. Um, on what grounds? If she’s been reinstated after false murder charges, I doubt anything Regina says will get her fired otherwise. Henry yells about Snow White and Prince Charming getting their happy ending and ending the curse. We next see Regina trying to fix her car. The engine won’t start. David just happens to be leaving work. He offers to take her and her car full of groceries (since when does 2 bags constitute a car full) home. She invites him in for dinner. He says no, but then she reads a (blank) note from Henry saying he won’t be home tonight, so David feels bad and stays. So they eat dinner and David offers to do the dishes. He asks Regina about how she found him. She makes up a story about forgetting her phone and going back for it and finding him on the way back. David says it was like the universe wanted her to find him. So of course she tries to kiss him. Ew! He backs away before any actual lip touching can occur, thank goodness. He says they’re good the way they are. Come on Regina, you’re supposed to be good friends with his ex-wife. Girl code much? Now, I’m not sure if Regina has tears in her eyes because she’s supposed to be playing the victim or if she is actually upset that she really can’t seduce David, but either way, after he leaves she takes a good look at herself in the mirror, does not like what she sees, and throws her wine glass at it.

Mary Margaret: She’s making sure that Emma truly wants Henry and isn’t just trying to get custody of him because of her grudge against Regina. Emma says she’s truly ready. Mary Margaret is back at the school and really happy about it. Regina comes by to give Henry his lunch and Mary Margaret gives Regina the calmest beat down I’ve ever seen. Mary Margaret should be yelling obscenities at Regina for all the hell she put her through (even though Regina tries to convince her that it was all Sidney, Mary Margaret ain’t buying what Regina is selling), but instead, she is calm. She forgives Regina, which you can tell infuriates her. Mary Margaret continues by saying that Regina must be real lonely if the only way she can be happy is to destroy everyone else’s happiness. Ding! Ding! Ding! You are correct Mary Margaret.

Henry: He has finally discovered the new pages in the book. Took him long enough. We’ve seen both him and Emma look at the book several times since August put the pages in. Henry also beats down Regina later when she wants Henry to be transferred out of Mary Margaret’s class. Henry, don’t antagonize her, it just makes her do stupid things like try to seduce David. We last see Henry getting into Emma’s car and she’s trying to take him out of Storybrooke. We’ll see how this ends up in the next episode.

Questions:

It took Henry, what, a few weeks to finally discover Pinocchio’s story had been added to the book?

Regina said Sidney is incarcerated. When did he have a trial? Did he leave Storybrooke? Is he in prison somewhere outside of Storybrooke? I thought no one could leave.

What happened to the rest of the enchanted trees?

Why did they have to build a wardrobe out of the tree? Why couldn’t they just put a hole in the tree to go through?

How would Geppetto not building the wardrobe benefit him in anyway? And are there no other wood carvers out there that could build it?

Why wasn’t Pinocchio’s story in the book in the first place? Henry knew Marco was Geppetto, so something had to be in there for Henry to know.

What preparations did the Blue Fairy have to go make before the curse? Nothing is supposed to be left afterward. Or was that just a test for Geppetto that he failed spectacularly?

Did August write the book somehow? How did he know there was a book and how did he know to add his story to it?

How was Pinocchio’s story not finished? We see an illustration of the whale after Geppetto and Pinocchio escaped from it, was that all it went to? Did it not show Pinocchio turning into a real boy? If it did, what else does there need to be?

How does Emma get back to Storybrooke? Did she ride back with August?

When did Pinocchio start going by August Wayne Booth? Did he randomly make it up, or did he go by something else as a kid? What name did he tell the social worker when they brought him and Emma to the foster home?

Where does August get money from? Did he really make that much as a writer that he doesn’t need to work anymore?

Observations:

Mary Margaret comments to Regina that ruining people’s happiness is only going to leave a giant hole in her heart. Maleficent said the same thing to Regina in 1x02 The Thing You Love Most.

Henry has a Tron lunchbox.

The clock Gold wants Marco to repair is the same one Geppetto teaches Pinocchio to repair.

Pinocchio as a puppet has blue eyes like August’s. Pinocchio as a real boy has hazel eyes.

Emma stops right in front of the unicorn mobile in Gold’s shop when talking to him.

Geppetto knows that Jiminy is responsible for his parents being turned into puppets.

The Blue Fairy lied!

Emma and August can leave Storybrooke.

The diner August brought baby Emma to is called Chantey’s Lobster House.

Emma and Pinocchio were brought to a forest not too far from where Storybrooke ended up.

Phuket is in Thailand.

August says his leg started turning back to wood when Emma made the decision to stay in Storybrooke. He says this was at 8:15 Storybrooke time, but it wasn’t. The clock was stuck at 8:15. That doesn’t mean that was the time she made the decision.

Marco has the wooden whale that Pinocchio made in the EF.

This was a good episode, but many people made bad choices here. Geppetto made a bad choice to let Pinocchio go through the wardrobe and take care of a newborn instead of informing Snow and Charming about it. The Blue Fairy made a bad choice in first, lying to Snow and Charming, and then to not tell them herself about the wardrobe after Snow had Emma early. Pinocchio made a bad choice in leaving Emma, but he was seven, so he didn’t have the best judgement. August seems to have made a lot of bad choices that he’s now trying to make up for by getting Emma to believe so he can save his own skin (literally). Emma is making a bad choice by trying to leave Storybrooke with Henry. Two more episodes until the end of season one!

Please leave comments and reblog! Let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future reviews.

@searchingwardrobes @thisonesatellite @justbecauseyoubelievesomething @laschatzi @profdanglaisstuff @mariakov81

#Once upon a time #once upon a time review #once upon a time rewatch #once upon a time 1x20 #once upon a time the stranger

[zoocross0vers]

Raspberries Challenge #2: Zootopia x Pinocchio

Hello everyone! As promised here’s the first of many more to come Zootopia x Disney crossovers! Sorry I never got back to these before, but they’re back now and hopefully they’ll have a better updating schedule from now on. So hope you all enjoy! :D

Keep in mind some will be longer than other, some shorter. And in some maybe some characters might not be present or not so much, like Judy for one is not really present in this one, but I hope you like my take on this Disney classic nonetheless! 

@wildehopps-rasps

...

Raspberries Challenge Entry #2: Pinocchio

                                                     Pinickhio

Once upon a time, there lived a kindly old clockmaker named Emmett Otterton. He lived on his own after the unfortunate passing of his wife some years ago. Having never had any children of his own, the otter passed the time focusing on his life’s work -- making clocks day in and day out.

A fruitful life financially, but empty without anyone to share it with.

In his loneliness, Emmett turned to carving marionettes. Fashioning most of them to look like children to serve as sort of surrogate children to him. He loved them all so dearly, but if he had to choose his favorite -- it had to be a small red fox kit made of pine. The little fox marionette, clad in a pale yellow shirt, red overalls, a blue bowtie, and a yellow hat with a red feather was named Pinickhio by the kind otter.

One night as Emmett went to bed, he made a wish upon the evening star -- asking it, praying to it -- to please grant Pinickhio life, so that he may become a real fox and a real son to him.

His wish was granted.

For when Emmett fell asleep, a beautiful gazelle fairy with a blonde tuft of hair came to Pinickhio and granted him life. When the little wooden fox opened his brightly painted emerald eyes, the fairy promised him that she would make him into a real fox kit. But!...on one condition, “Prove yourself brave, truthful, and unselfish. And someday you will be a real fox.”

To help him achieve this, the gazelle fairy gave the wooden kit a conscience. A conscience in the form of a small fennec fox named Finnick who had snuck into Emmett’s home to seek shelter from the bitter cold. Though he did not possess the most admirable life, the gazelle fairy felt that this was the fennec fox’s chance to make things right for himself -- to learn from his past mistakes and to lead Pinickhio down the right path.

“Now remember Pinickhio, be a good boy. And always let your conscience be your guide,” and just like that, the gazelle vanished. Leaving Pinickhio and Finnick to prove themselves worthy.

.

The bell tolled throughout the village, signaling to the children that it was time for school. As boys and girls of all species and sizes said good-bye to their parents and rushed off to the local schoolhouse, Pinickhio eagerly swung open the front door to gaze in amazement at all the children. There were so many different looking ones! There were big ones, there were little ones, there were some that looked like his father Emmett, and there were some fluffy long eared ones.

Speaking of which…...There actually was one of those that immediately caught his eye and made his chest feel funny. A pretty little bunny girl with gray fur and amethyst colored eyes that looked in Pinickhio’s direction. She giggled and waved at him with a sweet friendly smile. Pinickhio returned a bashful smile and waved back as she skipped off along with other similar looking rabbits.

After watching her disappear into the distance, Pinickhio’s attention turned to another equally amazing sight. There, making their way to school, were a group of mammals that looked just like him. In his excitement, Pinickhio began hopping around the porch, following their every movement with his eyes.

His father, Emmett Otterton, came out the front door to place a formal little black vest on the puppet to make him look presentable for his first day of school. The eager Pinickhio however, was having a difficult time standing still as he hopped around eagerly. “Look father! Look!” the little wooden kit called out in a hop.

Emmett chuckled at the young puppet’s eagerness, “Hold still, Pinickhio.”

“What are those?” the little wooden kit asked Emmett.

“Huh?” Emmett lifted his gaze to the children making their way to school. “Oh, those. They’re foxes and your schoolmates, Pinickhio. Girls and boys--”

“Real boys?” Pinickhio cut him off, finally standing still. Amazed at the revelation.

“Yes,” Emmett answered as he finally managed to put the vest on Pinickhio. “And I’m sure they’re all eager to become your friends.”

“Friends?” Pinickhio beamed at the word.

“Yes, now hurry. You don’t want to be late,” Emmett gently shooed him down the small steps of their porch. “Oh! Wait my son!” Pinickhio stopped, wondering what his father could want of him. “I almost forgot,” Emmett came down the steps with an ABC book and an apple. He breathed on the apple and shined it up nice on the sleeve of his blouse for Pinickhio. “Here’s your book and here’s a nice apple for your teacher.” Pinickhio smiled. “Alright, now turn around and let me look you over,” Emmett told him with a proud chuckle.

The little fox puppet obeyed his father and turned only his body around, keeping his head in place.

“Perfect. Run along now.” Pinickhio joyfully skipped on toward school, feeling excited and eager to meet real foxes and make dozens of new friends.

“Goodbye father!” he called back to Emmett.

“Goodbye son! Hurry back!”

As the town’s children continued to race on toward school, a red fox by the name of John Worthington Foulfellow and his mute feline sidekick, Gideon, made their way about the crowded path. “Ah Gideon, listen. The merry laughter of little innocent children wending their way to school,” said the red fox to his companion. “Thirsty little minds rushing to the fountain of knowledge. Haha! School, a noble institution. What would this stupid world be without--” Honest John stopped short, noticing a poster depicting a heavy set ram named Stromboli with a pair of marionettes. “Well, well, well, Stromboli! So that old rascal is back in town, eh? Hahahaha! Remember Giddy the time I tied strings on you and passed you off as a puppet? Hahahaha! We nearly put one over on that old gypsy that time! Hahaha! Hahahaha!”

Honest John and Gideon continued on their merry way, laughing boisterously until they came across a most unexpected sight. There, skipping along the same path but heading in the opposite direction as them was… “A little wooden fox. Now who to--” Honest John and Gideon froze. “A wooden fox?!” Honest John gasped as he and Gideon followed after the wooden kit. They hid behind a brick wall to spy on the young kit and ensure their eyes did not deceive them. “Look Giddy! Look! It’s amazing! A live puppet without strings! A thing like that ought to be worth a fortune to someone. Now let me see…” Honest John rolled his eyes up in thought, his gaze landing upon the poster he had seen earlier. “That’s it! Stromboli! Why that fat old faker would give his--Listen! If we play our cards right, we’ll be on easy street. Or my name isn’t Honest John. Quick we’ll head him off.”  

Honest John and Gideon made their way behind a brick wall walking along the path Pinickhio was taking -- following the young puppet’s every move -- still amazed at the sight of a moving living puppet. The hustler fox quickened his pace and pulled his mute feline companion by the neck with the crook of his cane until they arrived at the other end of the wall. Now ahead of him, it was the perfect opportunity to catch him!

Honest John and Gid waited and brainstormed on how to go about catching the unsuspecting puppet. “Shh,” Honest John shushed to his friend, “Now’s our--” Honest John’s eyes widened upon noticing his associate lifting a mallet, ready to bop the young puppet on his head. “No, no stupid!” Honest John said, removing the mallet from Gid. “Don’t be crude.” Honest John uttered, bopping the silent feline over the head with the mallet. Gid gave no reaction, save for a single hiccup. “Let me handle this. Here he comes.”

He spun around to face Gideon, pretending to be lost in conversation with the feline. “Ah, yes Giddy. As I was saying to the Duchess only yesterday--” The cunning fox casually slid his cane back, causing the incoming Pinickhio to trip on it.

CLANK!  

“Oh! Oh, how clumsy of me,” uttered Honest John, feigning concern for the young puppet. “My, my, my. Tsk, tsk, tsk.” Honest John clicked his tongue as he and Gideon helped the boy up, messily re-adjusting Pinickhio’s bowtie and hat. “Oh I’m terribly sorry. Oh, I do hope you’re not injured.”

“I’m alright,” Pinickhio responded.

Honest John sighed in relief, “Splendid!”

Gideon meanwhile, pulled out a small brush to help dust off the wooden kit clean. In the process of dusting him off, a greedy Gideon tugged at Pinickhio’s back pocket, pulling it wide to see if he had any money on him. He apparently did as Gideon reached in only to have Honest John smack him on the head with his cane, pushing the feline’s head down below his shoulders and into his shirt.

Pinickhio reached down for his book and apple, but Honest John picked them up first. The older fox rudely took a bite out of the apple and opened up the ABC book. He held it upside down,“Well, well, quite the scholar I see. Look Giddy, a mammal of letters.” Honest John lowered the book to his mute associate to see. With a humored chuckle, the fox returned the book to Pinickhio, “Here’s your book.”

Pinickhio took his book and innocently pointed ahead with a smile, “I’m going to school!” He started to march off on his way again when Honest John pulled him back with his cane.

“School?” Honest John questioned, “Then you haven’t heard of the easy road to success.”

“Uh-uh,” Pinickhio shook his head.

“No? I’m speaking my boy of the theatre!” Honest John exclaimed, draping his cape over himself in a dramatic flare. “Here’s your apple.” he said placing it back on the wooden kit’s palm. Pinickhio grimaced seeing that the older fox had already eaten it and only handed him the core. Taking absolutely no notice to the boy’s frown, Honest John continued with his speech, “Bright lights, music, applause! Fame,” Honest John said, raising his brows.

“Fame?” Pinickhio repeated, imitating Honest John's brow gesture.

“Yes! You’re a fox after all! Just like me! And let me tell you from one fox to another, there’s no greater occupation for a fox than the life of an actor!”

“Really?” Pinickhio asked, amazed by such a detail.

“Absolutely my dear boy! And with that personality. That profile! That physique! Why he’s a natural born actor. Eh Giddy?” Honest John said with a wink and a jab of his elbow to Gideon. The cat responded in kind with several goofy nods.

“But I’m going to--” Pinickhio tried to argue, attempting to continue on his path toward school.

“Straight to the top!” Honest John interrupted, turning the boy in the opposite direction and leading him on a new path, “Why, I can see your name in lights! Lights six feet high! Uh...What is your name?”

“Pinickhio!”

“Pinickhio! P-I-N-eh-Y-I-uh-P-I--Ohoho!” he chuckled, trailing off after fumbling his name. “How about we just call you Nick for short?”

“Okay! That kinda sounds like how my friend Finnick calls me. Except he calls me Nicky or Nicko.”

“Then Nick it is then!” Honest John cheered. He’s got him right where he wants him. “Now, on to the theatre!” the older fox declared, breaking into song as he and Gideon lead Pinickhio toward his ‘promising career’ as an actor.

Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee

An actor's life for me

A high silk hat and a silver cane

A watch of gold with a diamond chain

Hi-Diddle-Dee-Day

An actor’s life is gay

It’s great to be a celebrity

An actor’s life for me

Ta dum diddle dee dum

Ti dee um dee dum

Ta dum diddle dee dum

Ta dum ta dum

Hi-Diddle-Dee-Di

Ta dee de dum ta dee

Ta dum diddle dee dum

Ta dum ta dum

Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dum

An actor’s life is fun!

Elsewhere, Finnick raced through the streets while simultaneously attempting to dress himself. “Some conscious I turned out to be. Late on the first day--come on!” he strained between his teeth as he slipped on his black coat. “Oh well, I doubt Nick can get into much trouble on his way to school.”

The miniature fennec fox stopped beside a bridge on his path to tuck his nightshirt into his pants when suddenly...

Ta dum diddle dee dum

Ta dum ta dum

The sounds of merry singing caught his ear. This could only mean one thing, “Oh no, a parade,” the small fox groaned. “I guess I better move before I get stepped on.” Finnick stepped aside, crossing his arms and leaning against the stone to allow the marching mammals to pass.

An actor’s life for me

“Ugh finally!” Finnick growled under his breath once the mammals passed by. He made his way back onto the bridge only to hear a young, yet strangely familiar voice sing from behind him.

Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee

An actor’s life for me!

Finnick glanced back doing a double take, “What the--?” There, marching beside a singing red fox and a brown feline was Pinickhio!

A waxed mustache

And a beaver coat

A pony cart

And a billy goat

“Pinickhio?!” Finnicked gasped confused. The school’s on the other side of town, thought the small fennec fox, So where...? Realizing he had no time to waste with questions, Finnick ran after him, “Hey Nicko! Where you goin’!”

Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dum

An actor’s life is fun

You wear your hair in a pompadour

You ride around in a coach and four

Finnick raced and slid down a stairway rail, desperately trying to reach the young wooden fox, “Wait! Nick!” The fennec fox called to the young puppet but received no answer, the older red fox’s singing completely drowned out Finnick’s calls.

“Stop!” Finnick called once more only to have a completely distracted Honest John push Finnick away with a flare of his musically wandering paws. Finnick fell tail first with a dazed head. He shook it off to call for Pinickhio once more, “Hold on! Nicko!”

You stop and buy out a candy store

An actor’s life for me,

“That does it,” Finnick growled. He’s had enough.

Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee

An actor’s life for me

With clothes that come from the finest shop

And lots of peanuts and soda pop

Hi--

He ran after them and whistled as loud as he could, “HEY! PINICKHIO!”

“What was that?” Honest John asked turning every which way until he looked down and spotted the angry Finnick.

“Oh! It’s Finnick!” chirped a happy Pinickhio.

“Finnick?” questioned Honest John to the puppet.

“He’s my conscious!” Pinickhio replied innocently.

“Ah! So this is your conscious,” said Honest John, feigning excitement. “I didn’t know one of your schoolmates served as your conscious.”

“Schoolmates?” echoed an angry Finnick, “I’m a grown fox!”

“Really?!” Honest John gasped in shock, “Could’ve fooled me. I thought you were a bit tall for your age!” he snickered, jabbing Gideon with an elbow, eliciting an inaudible chuckle from the silent feline.

“What’d you say?!” Finnick snarled at them, balling his little paws into fists, “You’re lucky I have to set a good example for the kid. Otherwise I’d wipe that smirk off your face!”

“My, my, my, what a temper. We must be cautious Giddy. Seems like the grown fox has grown short with us. Hahahahaha!” They threw their heads back, laughing boisterously, while Pinickhio looked on wondering what's so funny... and what's made Finnick so angry?

Speaking of which…

“What are you doing here?” Pinickhio asked his fennec fox conscious.

“I could ask you the same thing kid. Ain’t you supposed to be in school? And who are these guys?” asked the miniature fennec with a sour look on his face.

“They’re my friends,” Pinickhio responded innocently, “This is Gideon,” Gideon tipped his hat to Finnick. “And that’s Honest John. He’s a fox! Just like me and you!” Pinickhio pointed happily at the older red fox.

“Charmed,” Honest John responded with a sarcastic bow.

Finnick only glared at him with an angry mumble.

“He’s gonna make me an actor!” Pinickhio replied ecstatically.

“An actor?! No, no, no. You're going to school kid.”

“But Finnick, Honest John says an actor's life is the only life for a real fox.”

“What? This guy told you that?” Finnick gave Honest John a dirty look and took Pinickhio by the paw, pulling him a few feet away from the two deceiving mammals, “Come 'ere kid.”

“What's wrong Finn--”  Finnick raised a paw, stopping the young fox puppet from finishing his sentence.

“I’ll tell you what’s wrong. Those two are lyin’ to you,” Finnick whispered to the little puppet. “Foxes aren't supposta be actors. I'm not an actor and neither are you! You're a kit. You're supposta be in school. Learning how not to end up like that guy!” Finnick pointed to Honest John, who simply placed a dramatic tattered gloved paw at his chest as if saying, 'moi?’

Finnick continued, “Look kid, if you wanna be polite about it that's okay. Just tell 'im thanks all the same but you gotta go to school.”

“And he shall!” Honest John cut in, placing an arm around the tiny fennec. “Acting school that is!”

“Wait. Wha--!” Finnick hissed before being so rudely interrupted once again by Honest John.

“Finnick was it? Come with me. Talk with me,” Honest John said, guiding Finnick away from Pinickhio’s hearing reach. They stopped behind a wall to speak in private, “Now listen my tiny friend. You're a fox, right? I’m sure you know all too well the paths our kind are destined to follow. I'm just looking out for the boy.”

“Puh, yeah. Lookin’ out how you can exploit ‘im to make a profit you mean,” Finnick scoffed.

“Exactly!” Honest John admitted without shame. “After all let’s face facts, that solo moving puppet is a gold mine! You’re his conscious right? Don’t you think it would be wrong of you to keep him from a promising future with heavy financial rewards? Hmm?” Honest John lifted his brows, attempting to tempt Finnick into going along with the plan. “Think about it, as his conscious that gives you a right to a heavy cut. If not all of dear Nicky’s cut considering he’s still too young to utilize his own earnings.”

Finnick’s eyes widened in amazement. That would be a lot of moola, the fennec thought with a mischievous smirk as he imagined all the money he could make with the little fox puppet. Given all the financial hardships he’s gone through his whole life, this could be his big break! He could have anything he’s ever wanted! Money, girls, his own place -- heck a mansion even!

….Finnick’s smile fell and he shook his head as his own conscious returned to him. “No! No! Sorry ‘pal’, but ain’t doin’! I’m not betrayin’ the kid and I ain’t about to let you ruin his life neither!” Finnick declared bravely and loyally.

“Really? Is that so? Never thought I’d see the day when a fellow fox would turn down such an opportunity.”

“Guess there’s a first time for everythin’ chump. I’m takin’ that kid to school and if you don’t like it, try an stop me--eeh!”

Honest John snatched Finnick up in the air. Hanging him high by the coattails of his coat, “Hey what the?! Put me down ya no good piece a--”

“Tsk, tsk, tsk. Temper, temper,” Honest John tisked, “We don’t want young Nick to hear you say such foul words. But I will tell him you send him your warm regards and the best of luck.”

“Wha--!” Finnick yelled before being tossed into a barrel. Honest John slammed the lid hard down on top of the barrel, muffling Finnick’s foul ranting.

“You’re a heck of a conscious by the way. Not that it did you much good here.” With a bump of his hips Honest John sent the barrel rolling down the hill with Finnick still inside.

CRASH!

The barrel crashed against a thick tree. The lid popped open, allowing a dizzy Finnick to waddle his way out of the barrel before collapsing right next to it.

Atop the hill, Honest John laughed boisterously and made his way back to Pinickhio and Gideon.

Pinickhio looked around curiously, unable to spot his conscious anywhere. “Where’s Finnick?”

“Finnick?” Honest John asked, “Oh! He went back home, but he told me to tell you that he changed his mind. He wants you to be an actor and wishes you the best of luck!”

“Really?” Pinickhio asked with a big innocent smile.

“Yes! Now come along Nicky! We have to make you a star!”

“Okay!” Though unable to see him, Pinickhio waved good-bye to Finnick in hopes that his conscious would still hear him. “Good-bye Finnick! Good-bye!”

Honest John and Gideon guided Pinickhio back down the path toward Stromboli’s. They resumed their song as Finnick regained consciousness and Pinickhio’s words at last reached his large ears. “Good-bye? Good-bye?!!”

Finnick shook his head, shaking off the dizziness and watched Pinickhio walk off into the distance with Honest John and Gideon. Finnick slapped a frustrated paw to his forehead with a groan, “That kid’s dumber and more gullible than a rabbit! Hey Nick! NICK!!”

No response. It’s hopeless. Honest John’s singing completely tuned out any of Finnick’s desperate calls. “Great! What do I do now? Should I tell his dad?” Finnick questioned to himself. “Nah, I ain’t no snitch. I’ll go after ‘im myself.”

Finnick tipped his hat forward in a determined manner and ran after them, hoping to stop Pinickhio from ruining his young life and his chances of ever becoming a real fox.

#zootopia #fanfic #disney #pinocchio #crossover #raspberries challenge

[chronicbatfictioner]

A Real Boy - Chapter 8

It took the whole night, as Bruce mentioned, to explain the whole nine yards of their activities to Tim. The whole activity of battling magickal people and creature out to create disturbances - or simply acts of crime that would have garnered unwelcome attention to those with Magickal aptitude.

The research and explaining activities eventually concluded by a lavish dinner that Tim was sure would have required a good sized magickal aptitude to prepare and present and Alfred adamantly stated that he did not use magick to prepare said dinner. By the time they finished dinner, the clock showed 10 p.m., and Tim was seriously ready to curl up in one of the cozy couches and sleep. It was only his sheer stubbornness that kept denying that Bruce would have been right in saying he was in no shape to drive back home.

Jason, however, was not having any of his stubbornness. "Alfred has prepared a bedroom, this is the Wayne Manor that has more security than Fort Knox - literally and magickally; there are more food than I have ever seen in your fridge in the past week. Plus there's a library." he pointed the last one out decisively.

"You may stay here if you want..." Tim grumbled.

"We still haven't figured out how to defeat the Untitled." Jason insisted.

"My eyes refused to comprehend letters anymore. Even if we - I - chose to stay the night, I just simply don't English anymore." Tim retorted.

"I'll try not to summon the demon into your head while I read Latin stuff, no English needed."

"I'm... tremendously amused at the sight of Tim arguing with his familiar, and can't decide if I'm more amused at the argument, or at the fact that the familiar is winning." Dick stated.

"You argued with Zitka all the time, Dick; we just don't hear her answers... That, I can tell you both, is even more entertaining." Barbara quipped. "If you still wish to go home, Dick and I can take you; but I suppose leaving your car here would be a problem..."

"Yeah, it is." Tim pouted. Leaving the car would mean he would have no other mode of transportation to get it back. And since the Wayne Manor ground was out of the public transport lines, he simply didn't want to think of the few miles of walking that he would need to take when he should come back and retrieve his car.

"We don't generally go in and out solo, around here." Barbara added. "Day time, I'd go on my own, it's okay. Night time, especially since I hold the tiara and has no magick within me, I'd rather not risk it."

"The... dark side of the supernaturals don't tend to do well under the sun." Jason explained.

"So the lore did come from facts, after all." Bruce mused. Jason turned and looked at him contemplatively.

"All lores came from facts and truths, Bruce. It's just the matter of who's telling them and how many embellishments they would put into it." he remarked. "Even the story of Pinocchio." he added, smirking a little ruefully.

"Ah yes, Conner Kent; Clark's effigy." Bruce commented idly, and Tim glared warningly at Jason.

"Ugh, don't fret, Timmers. He already knew of your little band of misfits. I didn't say anything." Jason quipped, and then stretched like a cat across the couch he and Tim were sitting on.

"We're not misfits!" Tim protested. "--and you just did say something!" he snapped at Jason.

"No, you're not," Dick interjected. "But you forgot that your friends were relatives or wards of our friends, too..."

Tim groaned, remembering that while his friends - 'band of misfits' as Jason called them - had gotten together on their own as 'orphans', not all of them were literal orphans. Like Cassie, who actually shared the same father as Diana Prince a.k.a. Wonder Woman and Donna Troy. The former was known to have made allies with Bruce and Clark and a team called 'Justice League', while the latter was Dick's best friend and had made a team called 'Titans'. Bart Allen might have come from the future, but he was a direct descendant of Barry Allen - who had been in said team prior to his death. Conner, in all obviousness, has connections to Clark and live in Clark's parents' home in Kansas. Rachel, while never had a connection to Bruce, was a member of Dick's previous team before she decided that those in Titans were 'too old' for her 16-year-old self.

"Thanks, Jason, just like Conner had asked us not to do..." Tim groused under his breath.

"I personally was hoping that your coming here was an excuse to form alliance with us," Bruce said. Tim glared at him dubiously.

"We're not... we didn't do anything harmful." he said, hedging. "And no, that's not why I came. I came to let you know of Jason's warning."

"Not help us fight it, then?" Dick asked softly. "Your team has some of the most powerful magi in it, why not help us?"

"You cannot force them, Dick..." Barbara replied. "They need to make the decision for themselves - they're not sidekicks, like you were."

"Being a sidekick taught me a lot, Babs," Dick told her.

"Not being a sidekick also taught me a lot, Dick; and at the end of the day, I can manage fine on my own, yet chose to pick the bigger picture as I see fit." she reminded. "Don't let them bully you into doing anything you don't want to do, Tim. Not even if the bullying came from Jason." she added, glaring at Jason, who shrugged nonchalantly.

"Hey, I'm only bullying him to stay the night so I can peruse the library." Jason offered. "I promise. That's all I wanted." he added when Tim directed what should have been a very effective death glare at him. Hey, said death-glare would have made Conner shriek in horror. Only on Jason, it seemed to be kind of useless. Tim wondered if his glare was defective, or if Jason felt like he was simply looking into a mirror when Tim glared at him.

After about three seconds of glare-off, Tim finally conceded. "Fine, we'll stay the night." Jason beamed. "But just this night. Tomorrow we get out of here at the crack of dawn, or I'm leaving you here!" he threatened. Jason's growled in indignation - Jason was not allowed to leave his Magi behind, but the Magi can make the familiar stay in one place, away from him.

Tim ignored him and turned to face Bruce. "As for my... friends, I can't and won't decide anything on their behalf. I will need to speak to them first and foremost, and that's not gonna happen until this weekend."

Bruce nodded slowly. "I understand."

"Wait, I'm not done. Whatever it is you think we're doing, we're not heroes, alright. We're just kids. We just needed a place that... where we can hang out and maybe help each other with our own problems; you know. We don't need... more problems." he asserted.

Bruce nodded again. "I understand," he repeated. "but I would prefer that you - of all people, considering that it was your familiar who brought in the news - know in advance of what you could be facing and how to face it. Jason might be able to show you books that show possible forms of threats; but you will need to know how to resolve them with the modern world in mind. You simply cannot barge in - no matter how strong you are - without considering other people." was the added warning.

"Oh, I know all about cellphone cams and CCTVs..." Tim started.

"What about the general public? The opinionated ones?" Dick asked. "The ones who talked about a bunch of kids who seemed like they're going to blow up that Drake Islet or make concoctions that would poison the entire Pacific?"

"They're just..." Tim froze. "How did you know of... he's just a jealous little wannabe magi who's not even a homo magi. I mean, he was like, a magician - the rabbit-out-of-a-hat kind of magician. He's..." he sighed. "You folks already know all these, don't you?" he concluded.

"Yes, I have some bots that would change the context of an online mention of you to something... well, more 'teen' activities than 'magi' activities. If things exploded, I'd change it to an experiment gone haywire - not demons being driven back to hell." Barbara admitted. "But if you want me to stop, I will."

"I think you can only ask her to stop when you're a legal adult." Dick told him. "But considering the things he'd said about you and your band of teenage alleged-'misfits', quote-unquote, you'll need to be more careful if you're to appear in public. I know how unpredictable the West Coast could be at times, but..." he shrugged. "...yeah, more careful is all I can say for now."

Tim inhaled slowly and exhaled just as slowly. If anyone asked, he would say he trusted Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, and Barbara Gordon with his life - even before knowing that they had worked with his mom. But there were others he should put into consideration, i.e. his friends.

But then again, there were times where he had hoped he'd known what to do when an emergency should arise. Barbara was right, there were times where he and his friends had needed to appear within the city of San Francisco itself and show their magickal strength to repel things - usually small-timed demons - and make them go back to the hell they came from. Thus far, Tim and Rachel was able to keep cameras and the likes from capturing them - using a lot of reflective surfaces and Rachel's deep-black 'soul self', an astral projection of her soul.

But a few months ago, they had met a guy - probably about a few years older than Tim, who had accidentally unleashed some dark magick due to his ignorance of spells and hexes. Tim couldn't resist berating the guy's ears off, after they managed to contain the darkness. Since then, the guy seemed adamant to discredit them by all means. His photos - obviously - were wrecked and not view-able, but didn't stop him from reiterating the whole event in great detail.

Tim knew that if a non-magi should see the Photogram or Mugbuddy story, they might simply say the guy, Lonnie Machin, has a great skill for storytelling and cute imagination. But a magi who was up-to-date to the world of magick would have seen through the flowery description and noticed what was happening right away.

"I can't promise much," Tim finally decided, realizing that while the demons or random dark magick were virtually 'easy' to handle, it took all of their concentration and metaphorical firepower to handle those and keep themselves hidden from plain sight. The offer of alliance with one of the most powerful team of Magi in the world sounded incredibly enticing, yet a bit worrying. "I'll talk to my friends, and I'll try to present this idea as... unbiased as possible. I don't like the idea of you being... I mean, they don't know you and all. And you're all adults." he reasoned.

"That's fair. You don't want us to influence you too much that you'd lose your own independence and identity," Barbara elaborated. "He's got a point, Bruce," she continued. "They should figure it out as a team, not just because it's demanded of them. They may be young... but we've had this conversation before."

Bruce exhaled slowly, and eventually said, "alright. I shall trust your team's judgment, whatever they decide - whether or not they would ally themselves with JL. But I trust you that we shall never be foes, yes?"

"Yeeeah, as much as Jason said I don't have a sense of self-preservation, I'm not nuts enough to make enemies out of the most powerful team of Magis in the world." Tim rolled his eyes. "Besides, my mom trusted you with a lot of artifacts - oh yes, Bruce, I noticed the door knocker, some hinges, vases, ornaments that should've been placed in a museum. I wasn't sure at first, until I saw the tiara. I presumed she'd given you some of those..."

"...some, yes. Some I've acquired, really. I paid for the digs." Bruce smirked. His sigh brought on a wistfulness to his face that caught Tim a little off-guard. "Jan was... the best, Tim. I am honored to have known her. Her... insistence on doing the right thing could be unnerving at times. But she was more than just a worthy ally. She was a friend."

Tim nodded slowly. But he has made up his mind; he would not 'sell' the alliance, but rather present it to the gang as an opportunity to learn and grow.

His mind and brain, too, has made up something else. Before he realized it, he yawned wide.

"Oh dear," Alfred remarked. "for all of his magickal strength, gentlemen, Miss Gordon, young Master Drake here is still a young 'un, I perceive." he said. "Your chamber is ready, Master Tim, if you wish to turn in now." he offered.

"Yeah, I guess... I guess I will." Tim admitted. "Bruce, Dick, Barbara... thank you... at least for letting me know that my mom was-- wasn't..." he stopped as the lump in his throat started to make it impossible to speak without actually sobbing.

"Tim, it's we who should thank you, and she." Barbara replied, rolling closer to him and tugged his shirt sleeves. As he bent over, she placed a gentle kiss on his temple. "Sleep well, buddy. I'll stay in touch."

Tim just nodded, he couldn't find the words to say when Bruce squeezed his shoulder and Dick ruffled his hair. He definitely welcomed Jason's arm wrapping around his shoulders as Jason begged to be excused and steered him to follow Alfred.

It was only after he'd brushed his teeth and changed to a set of pajamas - his size, which is not too surprising considering Alfred; that he slumped onto the bed and wept. For the mother he had never known; for the hero who had protected more than just her son and husband; for the soul of Janet Drake, that should be set free, if Tim could find it in him to actually forget her.

Jason kept quiet and wrapped his arms around Tim in an embrace as he cried, until he fell asleep.

#Tim Drake #Jason Todd #Bruce Wayne #Dick Grayson #Barbara Gordon #Alfred Pennyworth #BatFam #no-capeAU #Magi!AU #JayTim

[theotherbackgrounder]

Can you summarize the Class of Classics, please?

Story One: 

Students are in the Castleteria, talking about how excited they are about their parents coming for the reunion, these students are:Raven, Apple, Maddie, Darling, Cerise, Dexter, Daring and Melody. Some are really excited, but others like Dexter and Darling are nervous.

That night Raven and Apple talk about their thoughts and opinions regarding what their mothers were like in highschool and they get the the idea of visting the yearbook orchid.

Using a spell to get into the orchid, Raven and Apple starts searching for their mother’s books. But as every book they find the corresponding student disappears (Raven’s spell states “All I desire is for this gate (Book) to open and let us in!”), Everyone that disappears is of course part of the list I gave, all save Daring…They theorize that it may be because that Daring already understands his father, but may be more along the line that since each book is connected to their parent/child bonds, as Daring is The Beast, he isn’t a generic charming like his father (my theory of course)

Raven and Apple grabs the pied piper book again and they disappear into the book.

Story Two: Pied Piper

Raven and Apple soon find themselves in a void of nothingness, only to find Kitty and Melody there as well. The void begins to fill out and they see a young man, Pied Piper. Raven tries to interact but realizes they can’t (Apple: I guess this is a Show-Don’t-Tell sort of scenario.)

Pied Piper is looking through the intruments figuring what he wants to play when an old man with a horn appears (His style is very much older pied piper, I believe this is his father, Melody’s grandfather)

Pied chooses a flute and rats come out and surrond him (Apple: Well, I think they’re adorable.) The rats won’t leave him alone and so he asks Charming and Goldilocks to help as he wants to ask out Rose Red. Goldilocks suggests asking Cheshire Cat.

Cheshire Cat agrees but only if Pied agrees for one favor. Pied says “Okay. That’s fine with me. I always repay my debts” and with that Chshire went “Boo!” and all the rats ran away (Raven: That’s all it took?/Kitty: What? It worked didn’t it?)

Meldoy has a bad feeling about this…

The Next Day:

Cheshire Cat appears and gives Pied a near heart attack. Cheshire has appeared for that “favor” from yester day.

“I want to name your first child!”

“Go, Mom!”

Pied was surprised, thinking it was going to be something about doing homework for her (”Nope. That’s what I want.”) Pied agrees to it, saying it won’t be for a long time, but sure. Cheshire says she is going to choose the weirdest, bestest, most wonderlandian name of all time.

“Maybe (mom)’ll pick Brillig!”

“I want your child to be named Frumious! or Gree! or Manxome!”

Melody is afraid, she is thinking that Melody isn’t her real name. Pied is nervous and Cheshire asks if one in particular speaks to him.

Before Pied can answer, Cheshire laughs and just says she is just pulling his whiskers! (Melody lets out a sigh of relief). Cheshire mentions that if she would name Pied’s kid, she would pick something like Melody. She always loved names that ends in “Y.”

“Melody! I like that! I like that a lot!”

Raven, Apple, Melody, and Kitty all smile saying that Melody has Cheshire to thank for her name.

“I do love my name.”

“And your dad does, too!”

“I guess we are in sync after all!”

and with that, Melody and Kitty disappears and things get mad.

Story Three: Mad Hatter!

Now we are here with Maddie, Apple, and Raven and another story unfolds.

It’s a boring day in the castle-teria and no one is really feeling it. Mad Hatter has the best idea and turnes everything mad and woder-riffic. Milton storms in and asks for Mad to come to his office.

Milton gets onto Mad for being “disruptive” and Mad Hatter says no one is happy unless there is a big of chaos. Milton appreciates it and asks if he could tone it down a bit, Mad says he will be true to his nature but he’ll put a mouse hat onthe bandersnatch’s wig…er… i’ll try my best. Even mentions his one day of school in wonderland.

Mad asks why not consider a more wonderlandian way of doing things. Milton says he will take it under advisment, but just asks at least a day’s notice if he plans on throwning another tea party.

“I think I can manage.” and then proceeds to let Milton know about another tea party he plans for the next week. A bit of organized chaos if you will..

Maddie and Apple both fade and Raven is alone.

Story Four: Red Riding Hood

Cerise appears with Raven and it is there time together. Apple appears back in the orchiad, but can’t move (“Oh for crying out wolf!”)

The Story begins and Cerise and Raven sees Little Red Riding Hood eating lucnh (”Wow, my grandparents are right - I really do look like mom!”)

Big Badwolf appears and starts showing off, standing ontop of a chair on it’s hind legs and beats his chest - and almost instantly the legs break and falls. Students laughs and Big takes a bow.

“Thank you, thank you! I’ll be here all week!” he looks at Red with a grin, she rolls her eyes in irritation and returns to sandwhich (Sad Badwolf face #1)

Later back in class, an assignment starts and students have to partner up. These are the groups. Groups have to create their own “Tall Tales!”

Cheshire + PiedCharming + GoldieBadwolf + Red R. HoodCinderella + Sleeping BeautyBeast + Blue Fairy

Sadly, none of the characters in the room seem to stick out on which one would be the last four, if anyone was wanting to know.

Big is excited, but Red is nervous (Sad Badwolf face #2)

At the library Red and Big meets up and Big makes a joke about all the books that Red carried to their table. Red gets onto him and tells him to be serious as this project is 50% of their grade. Big says he wants a good grade as well and if she is so worried, than she needs to remember that a “fairy-fail” on this assignment will ruin his reputation as a performer. Red sighs 

“So…do you have any ideas?”

“I’m so glad you asked. One idea I have is to do a play about a giant who grows to be taller than all the other giants he knows. Or maybe it could be about a princess who comes up with all these hexcellent ideas aof how she can spend her time locked away in a tower. Or I have this other idea…”

“Both of those sound interesting! What abou-”

“Oh, there are more ideas where those came from! I have another oidea about a troll-”

But Bad Wolf stops her and tells her one i idea at a time, Red blushes slightly and apologieses for getting carried away. Badwolf says that it was cool she had alot of ideas and that he wished he had that problem. He mentions that he knows that most don’t take him seriously and he thinks it’s neat that Red got so excited about thronework.

Red frowns and tries to comfort him, saying that the trick with the chair was pretty neat.

“You mean until chair broke and I fell head over tail?”

and they both laugh.

Badwolf says his ending there wasn’t the best, but Red said it was great he bounced back…And sometimes you have to be spontaneous (Forshadowing for night of the red rocket? *wink wink, nudge nudge*

Raven: Awwwww…Cerise, your parents are so cute.

Red asks Badwolf about his ideas for their assignment. Bad wolf says he is bad with words and only get this across through actions, Red says that perhaps that was something she could help with

They both smile.

So they practice together and pass their assignment. both look at one another and looks away, both blushing.

Cerise thanks Raven for letting her see this before she fades away and Apple Returns in her place, missing Badwolf.

and soon Dexter and Darling appears.

Story Five: King Charming

All four appear on a bookball field and trying to figure out where Prince charming is, but no matter how hard they look they can’t find him

“Charming Go Long!” the coach throws the book ball and the young man chases it, but trips literally over nothing and hits the ground missing the book.

“I can’t believe that’s dad.”

“Well, did he tell you that he was a hexcellent bookball player?”

“Now that you mention it, He didn’t… I guess I assumed he must’ve been at it because of the way he talks about it with Daring.”

Turns out that Charming isn’t good with chemistry either as he blows up the science room. We also find out Charming was crushing on Goldilocks bad.

Defeated, he heads off to have lunch with micheal jackson Pinocchio

“It could be worse, Charming. At least you didn’t throw up.”

Pinoccho tells Charming to not torture himself over it and just ask her out.

“What if I ask her out and she says no?” Dexter glances over at Raven. Pinocchio continues pushing until Milton gives an announcement. There is a pig in the back ground…so Three pig’s father and or one of their uncles.

Apparently Goldilocks says that Little Bo Peep and Sleeping Beauty aren’t going to be able to turn in their articles for the school paper and if anyone’s got the inclination to help her with the layout and the editing…

And just like the man Charming is, Pinocchio calls out that Charming himself would do it. Goldilocks agrees.

“You can thank me later,” Pinocchio winks at Charming.

Shenanigans happen at the newspaper room and Charming asks Goldilocks to the Spellebration Formal and they have awonderful time. Goldilocks kisses him on the cheeks and Charming blushes. (”Awwwwwwwwwww!!)

Darling and Dexter both feels like they understand their father just a little bit better now, and that even though he makes everything look so easy but he wasn’t always like that.

Dexter and Darling fade and Raven and Apple were able to find the Evil Queen year book

Story Six: Snow White and Evil Queen

The teacher asks a question and Snow White gets it correct.

“Exactly right, Snow! Well done.” It’s nice to see that someone is paying attention.” She says eyeing Evil Queen and her platinum blond hair. Here, fans only the theory of “Apple and Raven switched at birth” as here we now know that indeed Evil had platinum Blond hair.

Next thing we see is that Evil Queen causes everything around the room to fly around,

Milton Grimm gets onto Evil queen for disrupting class (seriously, you could get away with murder in this world I bet). Milton Grimm asks her why she doesn’t apply herself more, her grades are maginal at best.

“I already know everything I need to know. This place is just where I need to bide my time until I can cut loose and start evilling it up properly after I graduate!”

Apple: I see where you got your boldness from!

and Evil Storms out of Grimm’s office.

Later Evil finds Snow White staring at a dragonsport poster. 

“Snow white? Playing dragon sport? That’s a laugh! She is too afraid to try out!” Then she had an evil plan.

At the library in the section for “Future Villains only” Evil finds herself a book for her evil prank, and laughs evilly…and then nearly chokes on her gum.

Then we cut to activity sign up (here we see a female white rabbit. Perhaps the March Hare?) Snow White is looking at all the activity booths but Evil comes up and uses her spell. Snow is possessed and signs her name on the Dragonsport sign-up sheet. Everyone gasps.

Later goldilocks talks to evil going on about how the school is buzzing about Snow trying out dragonsport! and what I love is that she just up and tells Goldilocks about her entire plan and how the spell will wear off just right before her performance.

Snow goes to the dragon games, what is neat is that the lady incharge of the try out has the same hair style as Dragongames Raven. Anow is first and heads for her dragon and Evil can’t wait to see snow just ruin her life. and just as snow gets on her dragon, the spell breaks and she is overcome with fear, but of course she tries to fight it  and gets on. and the dragon takes off.

It was a success. as she lands the audience cheers. And Evil Grumbles to herself as Goldie tries to comfort her.

The story comes to a close as Apple and Raven returns to the orchid. Raven offers that she teleports them back to their room. Apple smiles as she closes the year book.

“If it’s all the same to you, I’ve had enough magic for one night. Let’s walk”

and the two of them walk back to the school together arm-in-arm.

Chapter Seven: Reunion

Class of Classics reunion night has arrived and students are with their parents.

Cerise asks red that they just blow the activities off and just spend time together

Melody tells Pied she wants to record some of his music and mix it with some of her beats.

Dexter wants to talk to his father about a girl he likes…Darling wants to run some stuff by him.

Apple wants Snow to tell her a bit of dragon sports (This story is probably placed right there between Evil Queen being re-sealed in the mirror and the ending of Dragon Games when the arena is reopened)

Maddie wants Mad to give her some party tips.

Raven tells Evil Queen that she knows that she is the reason Snow joined dragon sport!

“That reminds me, I must impress upon you the importance of really thinking through your spells.There’s nothing worse than an evil spell that doesn’t work out the way you intended.”

“Okay, mom. But I’m not going to let you forget you did something good once, even if you won’t admit it. Maybe there is a little bit of you in me, ever after all.”

#ever after high #raven queen #apple white #cerise hood #maddie hatter #melody piper

[nettlestonenell]

When OUAT Became Not Itself

There’s plenty of chatter (and has been for awhile) that OUAT was Not Quite Itself as it ended its sixth season, and made travel plans to time-leap into a season 7 without all its passengers aboard.

Actually, OUAT hasn’t been its original self since Season Two.

And here’s why (It’s probably not what you’re thinking of).

When OUAT debuted those years ago, it shook up the presently established concept that fairy tales were about Romantic True Love. [Mind you, fairy tales are about a lot of things, but by the twentieth century, and possibly shortly before, they’d been boiled down to be solely Romantic True Love narratives.]

On OUAT, fairy tales were shown to be about Parental Love, in all its shades: Grandparental Love, Step Parental Love, Adoptive Parental Love, Surrogate Parental Love, and so on.

Sometimes this love was shown to be healthy, and good. Other times, parental love was shown to be cruel and abusive, or, even, rooted in a narcissistic love of self (child as extension of self).

Just look at Season One and what anchors the overwhelming bulk of those episodes—it’s Parent-Child relationships: Pilot (Snowing and Baby Emma, Henry and Emma/Regina) The Thing You Love Most (Regina and her Dad) The Price of Gold – The story of Cinderella is re-cast in the present timeline as an unwed mother, desperate to keep her child. In fact, baby daddy only shows up when he discovers she’s missing, and then only finds her at the hospital post-birth, where the two are reunited by their child. That Still Small Voice – Jiminy Cricket’s story is re-cast as an abused child, the show’s first explicit victim of damaging parental love. The Shepherd – As in all these episodes, Emma/Regina/Henry is going on in the present time, but in the past, we’re shown Charming dealing with parents (biological and whatever you want to call King George) Desperate Souls – Rumple and Bae True North – Hansel, Gretl and Dad (re-uniting a broken family) 7:15am – Charming and King George, King George and Snow, the daughter-in-law he doesn’t want Fruit of the Poisonous Tree – Snow & King Leopold, Regina & Henry I Red-Handed – far more about Granny’s (parent’s) love and protection of Red than Red and her boyfriend’s tragic story Hat Trick – the driving force behind the stories in both realms is Jefferson and his daughter The Stable Boy – As with Red-Handed, more about Cora (parent’s) relationship with Regina than Regina’s with Daniel The Return – Rumple and Bae The Stranger – Pinocchio and Geppetto, Snowing wanting to save their child An Apple as Red as Blood – Regina (as Snow’s step-parent) and Snow

With the exception of perhaps five episodes of the twenty-two, and keeping in mind that the present-day plots are Emma/Regina/Henry-heavy, the basic plots of the season are overwhelmingly parent/child driven.

Sometimes the parenting is good parenting, sometimes it’s terrible. Sometimes it’s parenting that’s made a mistake and needs to make amends.

Other than Snowing (and to a far, far lesser degree in terms of on-screen time, Rumbelle), the show is explicitly NOT delving deeply into Romantic True Love.

Sure, Romantic Love exists in the show. We see people trying to find it, people who had it once and lost it (or had it torn from them), but it’s not what the show is most-interested in. It’s not what (again: exception Snowing, which has to happen for Emma’s Parental True Love story to exist) the show is over and over and over again meditating on.

Snowing has a Season One arc. Absolutely. But a spectrum of Romantic True Love is not on display in the show. Think of all the many variants of Parental love. Yet, Cinderella loves Prince Thomas, Ruby loves Peter, Abigail loves Frederick--Romantic True Love is written in a short of shorthand. It’s not unpacked and meditated upon, nor shown in its full array.

And, most importantly, the two main characters (Emma, Regina) HAVE no Romantic Loves. Yes, Regina and Grant might look Romantic from the outside, but there’s a heart in a box somewhere that proves what stands for their relationship is twisted and non-consensual.

And Emma and Grant share a kiss (before dying), and a growing friendship before that, but unless you’re swimming around in fanfiction (which you’re welcome to do), on the show, they haven’t even gone on a first date, much less entered into an established Romantic True Love relationship.

On the show, our protagonist’s journey is toward parental love on two fronts: toward Henry, who she’d given up; and accepting it from her parents, who’d given her up.

That was OUAT.

Not a show in anyway about ‘ships.

In Season Two we expected, following Cursebreak, for Emma and Snowing to get time to work on that parental bond. ‘We are Both’ had Regina with her mother, and then trying to mother in the present time.

“Lady of the Lake’ is about Snow meeting Charming’s mother, and Emma and her mom in present-day EF. ‘The Crocodile’ gives us the story of Milah, OUAT’s Bad Parent-who-never-actually-killed-anyone-but-is-The-Worst-even-still’

Significantly: Why is she the Worst? Because she walked away from being a parent. On this show, that makes you less forgivable than Cora, or Rumple. On this show, even being a terrible parent is preferable to severing your ties with your child. Because the show is about Parental Love.

The Doctor: The Frankenstein brothers and what inequal love from a parent among siblings might drive you to.

Child of the Moon – Red/Mother

Episode 36 of the series overall, but 14 of Season Two, we are given Manhattan, the heavily parental love-based episode. It has not only Emma – Henry, but Gold – Henry, Henry – Neal, Rumple – Bae. And it’s a perfect trainwreck in both present day and flashback plot to what parental love is and means and can be (good and bad). It is a literal hymn to Parental Love.

Much as Season One worked, though episodically, toward Cursebreak, from our learning Rumple created the Curse to locate his son, from our learning that Emma had no contact with Henry’s father, (that she owed Gold a favor, that she had stayed three years in Tallahassee, etc) the show had long been dropping breadcrumbs in advance of what would come to light in Manhattan.

The Queen is Dead, The Miller’s Daughter, which still deal with parental (and in-law parental) love, are followed by Pinocchio backstory that sees him de-aged for his own and Geppetto’s sake.

As the second season goes on, Gold frets and dreams about how to handle his behavior toward Henry, now shown to be his grandson; in the background, Neal attempts to show his love to Henry.

Regina continues to think of new ways to traumatize her step-daughter Snow in the flashbacks.

In the two episodes of the finale, Bae finds a new family/new parents/a new parental love situation in London, tries to accept Hook as a surrogate dad (without knowledge that he was Milah’s lover).

Gold falls ill, and Neal, though not reconciled with him, decides to return him to Storybrooke.

(Cue Neverland plot)

While the Neverland plot was, in point of fact, driven by themes of Parental Love (Pan’s lack of love for Rumple, Rumple’s love for Bae here shown through trying to save Henry, team Charming + Regina’s love for Henry, Neal’s love for Henry), the show begins shifting away from explicitly shown narratives of Parental Love, reducing it to more of a shorthand. Less time is spent focusing on it. And with the addition of Hook (childless, who goes many, many episodes with no narrative of his own parents--only a passing mention of a father), and Neal both of whom are single and in proximity to the protagonist, the show shifts itself into an awkward love triangle format, when all its protagonist wants/wanted is her son back and safe.

Hook’s motivation is revenge-based. Rumple killed Milah (another love triangle), therefore it’s a Romantic Love-based Revenge. Had Hook, instead, been cast as Milah’s father, and his revenge was a parental love-based revenge (such as Maurice has), well, that would perhaps have staved off the now-prevailing winds of Romantic True Love starting to steer the OUAT ship.

Had Hook been a parent, with child issues of his own, also a way to keep the Parental Love themes going strong.

Hook becomes literally the only recurring cast member without a parental relationship toward someone, nor with parents/parental figures of his own.

[This is not a Hook hate-post.]

He’s the addition that became the engine that turned the show into a Romantic Love direction.

In the wake of Hook we not only get Emma/Hook, we get Regina/Robin, Zelena/Hades, Henry/Violet, we start to see everyone pairing up, more and more stories being about people finding the other half of their matched pair. Snowing is no longer the only twosome who will always find each other. We get Romantic True Loves coming out of the woodwork, and the focus on Parental Love is dropped beyond the occasional line of lip-service.

So it shouldn’t be surprising in Season Six that Emma Swan moans a lot more about where her boyfriend is than where her son is, or what is happening to all the children in the Black Fairy’s realm, or what, even, was going on with Gideon: Belle and Gold’s son/Henry’s uncle.

It’s peculiar, really, because while the modern collective mind (independently of OUAT) seems to have reduced fairy tales to tales of people finding their true loves, they have always been stories about parents and children, and Parental Love for good or ill.

And long before OUAT they showed families in a variety of configurations: the three fairies/Aurora, Hansl and Gretl with a step-mother, orphans and foundlings, dads a widower, and so on.

OUAT’s focus changed following Season Two.

What do you think?

#once upon a time #ouat #ouat season 6 #fairy tale

[holdouttrout]

In which I explain at length why Emma’s reactions to Hook lately don’t make sense to me

I’m not saying Emma shouldn’t be with Hook because he killed her grandfather. If I were, I would be a hypocrite because I ship her with Regina, who not only killed her other grandfather but mass murdered people, killed her OWN father, cast the dark curse, and generally made Emma’s life hell for a sustained period of time.

I’m not saying Hook hasn’t changed. The show has made it quite clear that he’s given up his murderous ways, that he feels remorse for killing people in the past, that he is trying to be a better man.

I’m not even saying she shouldn’t be with Hook.

I actually like(d) Hook and shipped Captain Swan before I re-watched the series and fell hard for Swan Queen (We do not choose our ships; they hit us over the head with the concussion of True Love.). I don't mind that Hook isn't perfect, that he doesn't have this whole redemption thing figured out! I don't mind that he falls into bad habits trying to defend himself from the consequences of his past (okay, I do mind, but I would understand it)! I don't mind that he's not immediately running to Emma to say "Hey, I killed your grandfather, just found out two seconds ago, forgive me?"

What I mind, more than anything, is that there's a pattern of behavior when Hook does fall back into his old ways, Emma excuses him IMMEDIATELY, without reacting to or seeming to have her OWN FEELINGS about what he's done.

That is what doesn't feel like Emma to me, because Emma reacts to EVERYTHING. What does she do when Regina frames her for stealing confidential client files? She takes a chainsaw to Regina's apple tree.

When she finds out that Neal is Rumple's son, that he kept that from her and left her on Pinocchio's say-so, she's angry. She reacts to the revelation before she acknowledges that if he had told her, she would have thought he was nuts. She brings it up again when he asks her about her doing magic, saying that Rumplestiltskin's son maybe doesn't get to be judgy about her using magic.

Before Emma and Hook are together, when he comes to New York and kisses her, she shoves him away from her and slams the door on him. Then, when he again approaches her, she calls the cops on him and has him arrested (before she finds the photos in Neal’s apartment).

When Zelena curses Hook's lips and he tells Emma about it, she doesn’t really want him tagging along to the farmhouse with her--and even though she does save him with mouth-to-mouth, she’s still not falling over herself to kiss him again. She’s still annoyed.

When Snow gets worried about Emma and pulls back on giving baby Neal to her because her magic is acting up, Emma reacts. She's hurt. She's afraid. She's a little angry (and a lot angry later, when Ingrid riles her up).

When she finds out her parents, who held themselves up as heroes, as the good guys, stole Maleficent's baby to remove Emma's darkness, she's pissed at them. She doesn't immediately forgive them.

But with Hook after they're together?

He colludes with Rumple to avoid Rumple telling Emma that he still has darkness in him--instead of owning up to hurting Will. Later, when Hook sucks the fairies into the Sorcerer’s Hat, Rumple had his heart, which you can't blame him for. But when he threatens to tell Belle the truth about the dagger, when he punches Will, when he acts aggressively toward Emma, when he omits telling anyone the truth about all of those things, he was acting in his own best interest. But the only mention of it is when Emma says, "You didn't have a choice."

He kills Merlin; Emma covers it up. (I get why maybe she didn't bring that up in the Underworld, considering she was at least partly to blame for the whole thing. I just wish the two of them had had a conversation that acknowledged that they both did horrible things as DOs and that they should try to do better from now on (like Snow and Charming after the baby-stealing episode).)

He keeps the shears against Emma's express wishes and then lies to her about them. Emma's like, "Oh, that's fine. I would have done the same thing." (This in particular made me SO MAD, because if anyone did that to me I'd be absolutely emotional about it and rage and talk to all my friends to see if I was blowing it out of proportion, and let's just say that I consider myself slightly more emotionally stable than Emma 'Chainsaw' Swan.)

So yeah, IF Hook keeps this from her for a significant length of time (which he might not! I could be totally wrong!) and IF Emma just accepts it (which she might not! I could be totally wrong!) I'll be ticked off. Because it's a pattern. Because it doesn't fit with how Emma reacts at other times or to other people or even to Hook prior to them being together. 

#anti-cs #ouat #ouat spoilers #ouat meta #anti-emma #it says anti in the tags but it's really just critical #and long-winded