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leclercss · 4 months

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Tainted Love, Part 9 (Charles Leclerc ft Lewis Hamilton)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8

Masterlist

plot: in an attempt to fix your marriage, you've reluctantly agreed into being in an open relationship with your husband. so far, it's only been your husband that has taken advantage of your recent arrangement until one night out you meet a man who makes you begin to question your marriage.

pairings: charles leclerc x fem!reader, lewis hamilton x fem!reader

warnings: (+18) mentions of smut, cheating and some swearing

authors note: i decided to split the last part into two, you’re welcome xx

word count: 4.3k

taglist: @ironmaiden1313, @ru-kru, @buendiabebeta, @flwr-quicksilver, @ravioli19, @julesandro, @hornedravenclaws, @thatobsessedreader @pinkangelavenue, @queenofshinigamis, @notleclerc, @paullinne, @bisexualbith, @tempo-rary-fix, @bbygrlllllll, @teenagedreams-cl, @lunamelona, @leclerc16s, @palomaxaxaxa

You find yourself standing outside of the apartment that you share with Lewis. It's funny that in just a matter of a week, it's gone from being your home to a place that you've come to dread. How can you call this place home when the people who live there feel like strangers to one other?

It's been a funny couple of days for you. You've somewhat started to rebuild a bridge with Charles after he came to see you at Whitney's. And while you've felt some relief that he still wants be with you, you've found yourself experiencing a whole new level of anxiety when it comes to his ultimatum.

It was him or it was Lewis. He couldn't be with you any other way any more.

You'd spoken to Whitney about it afterwards. You needed to make a decision but you didn't know where to begin. Whitney took inspiration from a Friends episode where Chandler made Ross write a pros and cons list about Rachel and Julie, only for it to backfire on Ross. He eventually got to be with Rachel but who was your Rachel?

Depsite your original sceptism, you'd written everything down any way, with Whitney chiming in with mostly negatives about Lewis. Her feelings are very clear, you'd thought to yourself in amusement. And by the end of the exercise, you couldn't even decide if it had helped you or hindered you.

As you lay awake that night, you thought about the both of them and at one point you just had to laugh. While Whitney had you focusing on all of the reasons why they were so different, you ended up thinking about the reasons why they were the same.

Apart from the obvious that they were both beautiful and the sexual chemistry was through the roof, you'd fallen for them in the same way. You'd met them both on nights out in London, they'd made the first move. Both were very confident in their pursuit of you. They made you feel wanted and they made you feel beautiful and sexy when you met them. You'd slept with both of them on the first night and you were hooked in an instant. They were both stubborn and felt easily threatened, acting like animals in the wild when another man came sniffing within a metre of you. And they were both bold and risk-taking. They weren’t afraid to go after what they wanted, the consequences were irrelevant, or at the very most an after thought.

But then your mind drifted back to the differences again. Lewis only seemed to be invested in you to make himself feel better while Charles was willing to do anything to make you feel better. And Lewis was the one willing to jeopardise your relationship with infidelity and open marriages, which had made Charles hate him so much. But then Charles, well, he pursued you despite knowing you were married and was okay with you to commit infidelity with him, which in turn made Lewis hate Charles...

You couldn't let you drive yourself crazy any more and so you decided that Charles was right, you needed to make some sort of decision. And so you had texted Lewis to say that you'd be calling by that afternoon. You needed to pick up new clothes and you wanted to spend time with Roscoe. Your text being met with a thumbs up emoji.

And this is how you found yourself outside your apartment door, no closer to a decision. You say a quick prayer before finally pushing open the apartment door and within seconds you were greeted by paws racing across the wooden floor. Roscoe is jumping up and down at your feet, desperate for your attention. He'd missed you just as much as you'd missed him.

You delayed entering the rest of the apartment, buying yourself some more time as you cuddled and played with Roscoe. But at some stage you had to rip the band aid off and a wave of deja vu hits you as you walk into the living room to find Lewis sprawled out on the sofa, remembering the last time you'd come home after some time apart.

"Feels familiar doesn't it?" Lewis chuckles as he looks up from his phone.

He's read your mind. He remembers that day so well too. And the more he thinks about that day, the more he wishes he could go back and deal with things differently.

But it's too late now. It's almost four months later and the two of you are now further apart than ever. But this time he's not as angry.

You awkwardly smile as you enter the living room, taking a seat on the armchair across from him, just like last time. The atmosphere is different though, it’s less tense but there’s an air of sadness that makes your stomach sink.

You play with the bottom of your skirt for a few moments, trying to figure out what to say and to his credit, Lewis lets you do this.

You eventually break your silence, "After the last time, I never imagined we'd end up here. I thought after that argument that you were done. You had a good reason to leave but you didn’t".

You pause for a moment, but you continue. It was about time you finally said something. You'd been quiet for far too long.

"And things changed after that. It's like you finally saw me again. You were finally willing to give me what I was looking for, which was for you to love me and to come back to me. And you did, but by that time I'd met Charles who was ready to give me everything I needed. No arrangements, no rules and no conditions”.

You take a deep breath and look over at Lewis, he's looking at you but you can't read the emotion in his eyes. He's quiet, he's going to let you say what you need to say.

"You've made me happy these last few months, Lewis. It's like how things used to be, just like I always wanted. But the more I think about it, the more I can't help but feel that you only made the effort with me was because you felt threatened that another guy was willing to do the job that you were incapable of doing".

His jaw twitches at that last comment. You feel like you may have pushed it a little too far but he holds his composure. He finally sits up on the sofa, it's his time to talk now.

"I know I've made some mistakes when it comes to our marriage. I've been foolish and I've been selfish but I'm willing to put in the work to fix us," there's intent in his voice, it's matching the look in his eyes.

"And I'm willing to put last weekend aside and we can start fresh," he carries on but you're intrigued by his comment.

"What do you mean by that?"

Lewis’ face scrunches, he didn't expect you to challenge him on that statement. He was actually waiting for some sort of apology but he’d put that aside for now.

"I'm willing to put seeing him behind us. I can forget about that stupid dinner and I can forget about your fling because I think what we have is worth so much more," the level of his voice is getting a little louder now. The composure that he had a few moments ago is quickly leaving his body. He's not used to you challenging his words and he's finding it more difficult to stay calm. He should be the one that's mad at you in his eyes.

"Charles isn't just some fling, Lewis. He means something to me," you cry out.

"That's bullshit," Lewis retorts.

"It's not bullshit, Lewis. Charles and I, we care about each other," your voice is getting louder and squeakier the more this conversation continues.

Lewis laughs for a moment, he’s sure that this has to be a joke.

"Fine, you know what, let's say you care about the guy you've been sleeping with. But is he really worth jeopardising our entire relationship for? It's not like you love him or anything," Lewis cries out and he stops as he notices something flicker in your eyes. He recognises that look. It's the same look that you and Charles had when you saw each other at dinner. It's guilt.

A wave of nausea washes over Lewis as reality begins to settle in. The situation was so much worse than he thought, had he really been that delusional to think that you and Charles were just a minor thing? An annoying fly that’s buzzing around your ear until you kill it with a rolled-up newspaper.

No, because the look the look on your face tells Lewis what he had been ignoring for so long, Charles is here to stay.

"You... you love him?" his voice is barely audible but you don't miss it.

The naivety in his voice stuns you and you're left speechless. Tears begin to fill in your eyes and you're unable to answer him. But your silence and the tears in your eyes is enough of a confirmation to Lewis as he needs.

You feel a sense of guilt as you see Lewis begin to process this and he begins shaking his head furiously, “No, no, you don't love him".

He stands up from the sofa and begins pacing the living room floor. He's trying to keep himself calm but he has so much anger running through his body right now. How could you love somebody else when you loved him?

"Lewis," you begin but you don't know what to say. And so you just watch Lewis run through the motions. He's angry, then he's confused, then he's sad. He's clawing at the braids on his head to try and find some release but he's overwhelmed. He's going through the five stages of grief except he's not willing to accept the reality that you could meet somebody else. And that maybe his actions have finally come back to bite him in the ass.

"Lewis, can you please sit down?" you cry out. The more he paces around the room like a mad man, the more unpredictable he's becoming.

"You don't love him, you don't love him," he's muttering to himself. If he says it enough times surely it'll become the truth.

"Lewis, please".

But your plea goes ignored. He's still pacing around the room. It's stupid of you to even try but you can't watch him like this any more and so you get out of your seat and walk over to him. You grab onto his wrists in an attempt to stop him pulling at his hair.

"Lewis, can you just stop?" you cry out.

And to your amazement, he does stop. The grip he has on his hair loosens but he's still looking at the ground.

"Can you look at me for a moment?" you whisper, hoping that if you speak quietly that it'll bring down the tension in the room. Lewis hesitates for a moment, but he eventually lifts his head so you're looking into one another's eyes. Your heart sinks at the look that he's giving you. It's a combination of hatred and sadness.

Once you're sure he won't fly off the handle, you let go of his wrists and your hands make their way to his face. Your hands taking form around his cheeks, your touch is gentle.

"I... I ... I'm so sorry, Lewis. But Charles and I, there’s something there," you whisper.

He licks his lips, composing himself once more before he speaks, "Stop staying his name. I don’t want to hear his name any more in our home". You wince at the tone in his voice.

You let out a little sigh, not really sure what to say next. Even ChatGPT couldn't find an answer or script for this.

"So what, do you two have a little plan to run off together or something?" Lewis spits, his eyes searching yours for an answer.

"There's no plan, Lewis, there was never any plan. It just happened," you tell him.

He scoffs. "I should have punched him in the face when I had the chance".

You try not to roll your eyes, "That wouldn't have achieved must would it?"

Lewis chuckles sarcastically. "It would have made me feel better though".

Silence falls on the room. You’re both breathing heavily, trying to figure out what direction this will go in next. Lewis is doing his best to control his emotions but his body fails him as a tear spills over, softly rolling down his cheek. You use your thumb to wipe his tear away.

“I want to hate you,” Lewis says a few moments later, “But I’m tired, [Y/N]. I want to be mad that you could love someone else who isn’t me but to know that I pushed you away… I don’t know how to deal with that”.

This is the most real Lewis has been in so long. This is the Lewis that you loved and somewhere along the way you lost him. But he here’s with you now, and he’s looking at you with so much regret and sadness.

“Do you still love me?”

It was the same question that you had asked Charles.

“What? Lewis, of course I still love you. Through everything I’ve always loved you,” you reply. His face is still in your hands. And so he places hands on top of yours, his skin is so warm and soft that you let yourself breath a little more.

“Let me fix this, okay? I want to prove to you that we deserve another chance,” he says with determination in his voice.

“I… Okay…” you begin to stutter. Your mind is still foggy when it comes to make a decision but Lewis isn’t going down without a fight.

“We said in sickness and health, for better and for worse. You’re still wearing the ring that I gave you and until you take that thing off, I’m not giving up,” he tells you. He doesn’t wait for a response as he lungs towards you and his mouth makes contact with the corner of your mouth.

You’re taken aback by his sudden movements and stumble backwards but he’s quick and wraps his arms around your waist. He makes a better attempt at kissing you again and this time his lips meet yours.

“Lewis,” you mumble against his lips in protest.

He takes his lips from yours but he doesn’t pull away. Instead he moves his lips along your jaw, nipping and sucking on your skin before he makes his way towards the skin under your ear. He leaves a lick in your sensitive spot before moving upwards, his warm breath against your ear.

“Let me prove it to you, baby,” he whispers.

But it doesn’t feel right. You’d only be leading him on and you’re no closer to being able to make a rational decision on your future. Letting him “prove it to you” will only make things worse.

“Lewis, stop,” you cry and use your hands to shove his chest to create some distance between the two of you. “I can’t do this, Lewis. Not like this”.

He’s looking at you, dumbfounded, lips plump from his attempts to leave his mark on you.

“This isn’t how we fix us okay,” you tell him. “I.. I thought we were ready to have this conversation but clearly we still have a lot to process”.

You attempt to walk past him towards the door but he grabs onto your wrist, stopping you in your tracks.

“Wh… what do you mean? Baby, you can’t leave”.

You turn to look at him and let out a little sigh. “I think we need more time, Lew. We need some space. I’m going to go home for a few days.”

Charles is questioning his entire sanity as he makes his way to the entrance of the coffee shop. He still has time to turn around and run from this ridiculous situation. It’s just asking for trouble coming here. But his body is clearly more curious than his mind as his feet are still moving in the direction of the entrance.

Hesitating slightly, he opens the door and his eyes immediately scan the coffee shop for a familiar face. And he spots it, in the very back corner. The face looks as tense as he feels. A pair of dark eyes land on Charles and they’re already attempting to burn through him.

Making his way over, Charles doesn’t say anything as takes the empty seat, aware of the eyes that are very much meant to intimidate him.

He clears his throat as he looks up. He takes in the appearance of the person opposite him. They’ve made an effort in their appearance - hair tied back neatly, wearing crisp white clothing in an attempt of looking fresh and innocent and the smell of aftershave is hovering around the table. But he doesn’t miss the bags underneath their eyes, they match his own. The turmoil and emotions of the last couple of weeks have taken their tole on both of them.

And then he notices the shining mental on their finger that makes his stomach turn, a wedding ring. A taunting reminder of your situation.

They’re still looking at each other, jaws twitching. Curious as to who will make the first move. It’s Lewis.

“Thanks for accepting the invite and coming,” his tone is far from sincere.

Charles nods in response.

Lewis attempts not to roll his eyes at the lack of engagement from Charles.

“I thought since [Y/N] is spending some time back in Belgium with her family, it would be helpful for us two to talk,” he continues, his dark eyes still fixated on Charles.

“Yeah, she mentioned a few days ago that it’d been a while since she’d been home,” it’s a lie from Charles. He wants to get under Lewis’ skin after his behaviour at your birthday dinner. It’s petty, but it’s amusing to watch Lewis try to remain in control of his emotions. The thought of you spending time with Charles post-birthday disaster must be driving Lewis insane.

“Well, I think it’s good for her to spend time with her mother. No distractions”.

Charles scoffs.

“And what do you mean by that? No distractions.”

He’s mocking Lewis, this is all bullshit.

Lewis’ jaw twitches but he remains calm. Charles’ presence caused him to embarrass himself the last time, he won’t let him do it again.

“Well, I think that our marriage will be much better off without needless interferences. People getting in the way of us working on our marriage”.

Charles really has to hold back his laughter. Was this guy for real?

“I think it’s a bit rich coming from you,” Charles retorts, “weren’t you the one fucking other people before suggesting to your wife that you have an open marriage?”

He’s enjoying seeing Lewis’ jaw twitch, his knuckles turning white as he clenches his fists.

“Either you don’t give a fuck or you’re incredibly stupid that you underestimated [Y/N]’s worth when it comes to interest in other men,” Charles continues, “and maybe you overestimated your own. Because she found someone that’s ready to love her and here you are, sitting in a cafe, with your wife in another country. And you’ve had to ask me here so you can tell me to stop fucking her”.

Lewis’ eyelids begin to flutter as he uses every ounce of control in his body to stop himself from lunging over the table and punching Charles. The arrogant smirk on Charles’ face is only growing. He can’t let him win, he won’t let him win.

“You think you’re funny, don’t you?” Lewis snarls. “You’re just her side piece, remember that. When you lay awake at night thinking about her, she’s in bed with me”.

But his words go over Charles’ head, he smells the vulnerability from Lewis, he’s practically reeking of it. This is his revenge on Lewis for emasculating him in front of you and his friends.

“It was pretty easy to get [Y/N] to cheat on you. It didn’t take her much convincing,” Charles laughs.

He’s fighting dirty and he knows it. But Lewis has dug himself this grave, Charles is just finishing off the last of it.

Lewis runs his hands through his hair. He can’t sit still may longer. If he can’t punch Charles in the face, he needs to find something else to occupy them with.

He sits in silence for a few moments. Trying to find any last dig that he can throw at Charles. He’s desperate and so he finds the one thing that may hurt Charles.

“Before she left for Belgium, [Y/N] came by the flat to speak to me. We talked and she’s very much still in love with me,” Lewis pauses as he begins to play with his wedding band. He waits until Charles’ eyes fall on the mental wrapped around his finger. A subtle dig before the big blow, “She’s still wearing her wedding ring, you now. And she wore it while she let me fuck her”.

It’s Charles’ turn to hold his composure as he tries not to let Lewis’ confession affect him. He doesn’t know if he believes Lewis or not. But the smug expression on your husband’s face is enough for Charles to even entertain the idea.

Silence takes over as they both try to figure out their next move.

Surprisingly, They both take a few moments to let their anger die down. This conversation is too heated and it’s only going to make things worse. And neither of them wants to give the other an opportunity to win.

Whatever outcome either of them expected from this meeting, this wasn’t the right way to go about it. Not if they wanted to lose you. And so Charles stands up from his chair, no longer wanting to be a part of this game.

He starts to walk away but he turns back. He’s got one more thing to say.

“And while you lay there at night, with your wife in your arms. Remember that she’s lying there, thinking about how she loves me. And all because you pushed her away”.

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc smut #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x you #f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 x you

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sc0tters · 9 months

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Birthday Blues | Jack Hughes

summary: it’s Jacks 22nd birthday but when you’re so caught up making things perfect he starts to think you’ve forgotten what day it is.

request: yes/no

warnings: mentions of alcohol, use of the word y/n once or twice.

word count: 1.53k

authors note: literally started this piece in Australia and finished it in Bali but I rewrote so many parts of it that it took me a whole 6 hour flight to get this edited 😭.

Jack didn’t consider himself to be a nervous person.

Truly, it was tough to be one when you were the first pick in your respective draft year and as a middle child.

But around you it was a different story. You were on the media team for the devils and honestly he didn’t know what it meant to feel starstruck or in awe of someone until he met you.

Without any effort at all you managed to totally knock him off of his feet. Maybe it was the fact that you were older or maybe it was the fact that in a stream of people treating him like some he was a godsend, you were there to remind him that at the end of the day he was only human, but you never made him feel bad.

Jack had learnt your coffee order and after a while he started bringing it to you every day “he likes you, know that right?” Nico asked with an amused smirk on his face as he watched his teammate walk out of her office.

All you could do was smile “he’s just being polite.” That was what you told yourself each time the forward did anything for you.

Like the time he brought you a tub of ice cream from your favourite ice cream parlour in New York when he learnt that your cat passed away.

The things he did went from grand like the ice cream to just saying hello and goodbye at the beginning and end of each work day.

Part of you had to admit that you liked Jack but an even bigger part of you had to admit that you appreciated him. Since he came to the team there wasn’t a single night out that you went on where you had to walk home alone.

You had learnt after meeting his parents that it was a value that was most likely instilled in him through his parents.

All of those things made you wonder if that was the reason why you were putting so much effort into his birthday celebrations.

The boys didn’t know why but you seemed to enjoy party planning and as a result you were the one who would get tasked with planning what the team would do for the in season birthdays.

Luckily for Jack this year his birthday fell on on the first day off of a four day gap where the team weren’t playing games so they were allowed to celebrate the Hughes boy with a bit of alcohol involved.

The boys had an early morning training session where they were all so invested in the events of the day that it gave you the time to sneak out for some last minute errands “y/n!” Jack called out causing your eyes to go wide.

You had gone to pick up his present, not because you only decided to shop for it today but because it was only ready to be picked up today. You had gotten him a bracelet that had ‘go get em’ on the underside of the plate that had the day he made his debut engraved on it. The saying was something that usually fell from your lips before a game “hi Jack!” You awkwardly forced a smile onto your lips as you tried to hide the bag from him. Jack had a knack for being nosey when it came to you and the things you did.

So it was safe to say that you were somewhat panicking “you got any plans tonight?” The hockey player asked as he cocked his head ignoring your awkward stance.

He assumed you were going to be at the bar but nobody seemed to mention anything “nope,” you lied as you began to panic “I’ve got a night at home calling my name.” You explained as you shrugged. Lying was never your forte especially not when the guy in front of you looked as sad as Jack currently did “I should get back to my office,” you announced as you quickly spun on your head as you make your way back to your office before you blurted out what you had done. Jack knew his parents were in town because they were coming for the game, but what he didn’t know was that you had convinced both of his brothers to come into town for it too and you actually had to go pick the two of them up.

To say that Jack was heartbroken was dramatic but truthful. With the amount of messages that he had gotten about his birthday he truly thought that you would have at least said a little happy birthday to him, you usually did but now it seemed like you had forgotten about the day.

He also felt a little bit isolated in a sense because he hadn’t told anyone that he liked you, sure Nico and most of his teammates had picked up on it and sent the relentless string of teasing his way but he usually just ignored it.

The Devils player actually had to be dragged out of his apartment by his parents to go to the bar because he truly didn’t want to go out. Part of him wanted to show up at your door unannounced just so that he could give you a piece of his mind, but the more clear thinking part of him knew that it would never work as he could never be mad or even try to yell at you.

On the other hand you were feeling like you finally had a moment to breathe now that Quinn and Luke were in the bar “he’s gonna be fine,” Quinn smiled as he squeezed his hand on your shoulder. Both boys could tell that you were nervous wanting everything to go right for Jacks birthday “what are you doing here?” The Devils player only seemed to care that the girl had arrived “yeah I’ll just go back to Michigan then.” Luke scoffed drawing a laugh from your lips.

You had met the youngest Hughes boy a few times over the years especially after he got drafted by the Devils and his bluntness never failed to make you laugh “shut up,” Jack rolled his eyes as he pulled his brothers into a hug.

The older Devils player was surprised to see his siblings too “y/n actually got us here,” Quinn pointed out as he sent you a smirk, after hearing Ellen gush about you last year at the lake house the eldest Hughes boy knew that you were special to his brother.

Your cheeks turned pink as Jacks eyes never left you “thanks for this,” he grinned as he wrapped his arms around you.

All you could do was nod as you tried to remain calm “just doing my job,” you smiled as you shrugged.

Jacks party had gone down a blast. You seriously didn’t think that the players found a moment actually stop moving as everyone just continued drinking and dancing.

But like all good parties and age this one was one you were starting to feel in your feet “where are you going?” Jack asked as he watched you begin to make your out of the door.

He always seemed to notice you like wherever you went his eyes followed “it’s time for me to call it a night.” You explained as you were looking forward to the warm bubble bath that was calling your name.

The boy couldn’t help it when he frowned “I’ll walk you home.” The hockey players favourite bar was only four minutes away from your apartment.

Your heart warmed at the offer “stay with your family.” You shook your head as you turned down his offer.

But Jack didn’t seem to listen as he placed his hand on the small of your back “they won’t notice that I’m gone.” He pointed out as he started walking with you.

You sucked at your teeth as you finally found the curiosity within yourself to ask him what Nico continuously pointed out “why are you so caring?”

Jack smiled at the compliment “you’re an easy person to care for,”he pointed out as he shrugged.

The street was dead silent as you turned to face him letting the street light hit your face “how’d I get so lucky?” You blurted out as you pursed your lips together.

The boy licked his lips at your question “I ask myself that all the time,” he confessed as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

It drew a laugh from your mouth “you’re such a simp,” you pointed out with a smirk “only for you,” Jack was quick to shoot that statement back as it caused you to realise that Nico was right.

Jack did have a crush on you.

You rolled your eyes as you grabbed the collar of his shirt “shut up,” you mumbled as you captured his lips in a kiss.

It was something you had waited to do for months.

Something Jack wanted to do from the moment he met you.

This was officially the best birthday he could have ever asked for.

#jack hughes #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes one shot #jack hughes x you #jack hughes x reader #hockey imagine #nhl imagine #nhl oneshot #hockey imagines #imagines #oneshots #amber writes fics

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ccuniculusmolestus · 5 months

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Bunny Corcoran: Mother, Women and Sexuality (Masterpost)

Apologies for the shitty quality screenshot, idk why their quality got butchered.

Anyway I divided this thing into IV parts.

Intro

Camilla

Marion

Henry

INTRO & DISC.

Not to be a bunny apologist literally, he's sexist piece of shit, but you know whats funny? The way this fandom absolutely REFUSES to acknowledge the fact that, despite Richard's shady ass describing Bunny as "homophobic but not in a repressed way", Bunny could very well be gay or bi at the very least. The fandom just doesn't want to see it because he doesn't form "convenient" enough ships with major characters (he does. You guys are just cowards.)

Yes I know, sexist hetero men despise women just for being women, but they view women purely through a sexual lens. But Bunny's prude ass was NOT a pervert. I mean, this is the guy that got triggered when Richard asked him about his hickey.

Yes yes sexually repressed people can act prude-ish in front of people but be total pervs when alone, but nothing at all hinted at Bunny being a pervert who viewed women as walking meat bags. I just find it weird that the only two female companions he had (Marion and Camilla, aside from Judy bcs we never see them interact) he just...didn't like them. Camilla he was good to, occasionally, in a very platonic way ("paternalistic stance").

CAMILLA

And you know what drives me crazy? In this group of 5 boys and 1 girl, Bunny was the ONLY one who was never inappropriate (sexually) or sexual with Camilla. Even the openly gay guy in the group had kissed her at least once. Even her own brother-- not finishing that. Henry slept with her too. Richard kissed her, and wanted to sleep with her. Not Bunny. Yes, Bun was cruel to her in other ways, ordering her around, saying she was intellectually inferior, but he showed ZERO romantic interest in her. Which is kind of ironic to me. The only homophobe in that group was the only one not acting straight.

MARION

With Marion, my god, the way this boy behaved.

He called her his "reason of being", the purpose of his existence, but he could barely tolerate her. She was only a clip holding him together from those parts where he was falling apart; wounds left from a neglectful mother. Lets not mention how Marion is sort of an underdeveloped image of his mother; delicate, blonde, somewhat haughty.

That bitterness he probably feels towards Kathy was then pointed to Marion. Its so freaking clear that Marion is filling the "Mother" role in Bunny's life. She's "feminine" (a trait often associated with motherhood and vice versa), she's "bossy and businesslike". I don't need to explain this, I'm sure.

But watch Bunny's reactions to her; hes submissive for the most part.

For a man who's so incredibly sexist, it doesn't make sense for him to choose such a woman as his partner, does it? Now, either Richard entirely fabricated or exaggerated Bunny's sexism in order to justify his murder, or

His "dislike" for women didn't stem from the weird sexual obsessions misogynists tend to have, but from something else. It could be, purely, his mommy issues, or something else.

You know that whole, Bunny calling Marion that title, but treating her like a chore just reflects what a big performance his relationship truly was. He didn't love Marion, perhaps he liked her, appreciated or cared for her, but he didn't love her. Marion was, like every other thing in his life, just an element to uphold an image of himself. Potential beard? Maybe.

HENRY

Bunny's true "raison d'etre" might have not existed. The only person he could be said to gave been obsessed with was, truly, Henry. And im not just saying this for the sake of it. Bunny was invested in and attached to Henry, perhaps a result of his financial dependence on him.

I don't know guys, I just don't think its normal to snoop around your best friend's things often, or make multiple attempts to read their journal--

this boy was DESPERATE to know the inner workings of Henry's mind. Mind you, this is BEFORE Bunny found out about the murder, or had reason to suspect Henry for anything. Henry's said he was always nosing around for it, and he mentioned Bunny was an "obtrusive" roommate -- meaning this was normal occurrence for him around Henry. Yes, he was also kind of like this with others (Stealing stranger's foods, stealing Charles' cooking literally as he works in the kitchen) but neither of these required a sense of interest in the person he was stealing from. It was to serve his own needs.

Bunny also shows a reluctance to lose Henry.

After their fight, he's so overwhelmed that he doesn't know how to react (mentioned by Henry himself), and his first instinct is to try and cling onto whatever shred of normalcy there was left between them. Despite knowing the numerous cruel things Henry had written about him, Bunny just took it. He stayed somewhat amiable to Henry later. Yes, yes. He got annoying about "the blackmail" (or his inability to keep his mouth shut) but Henry and Francis BOTH tell Richard that Bunny doesn't see what he's doing as "blackmail".

In fact, i think Bunny the fool was trying to get "in" on the feeling of being in on a secret. Image below is regarding that German that started following them in Rome.

But his immediate reaction of pretending everything's fine isn't the first or last time he tries to keep things cool with Henry.

Henry, despite having to deal with Bunny's worst tantrums, was still treated with a degree of respect that seemed to be reserved only for him. Was he afraid of Henry? Hell no.

Bunny was never afraid of insulting Henry, or fighting with him. But he rarely ever got personal with him. Yes yes he complained about the money and every little thing, but the way he went after the rest of the class? Targeting their weaknesses? He would've known Henry's weakness, he was perceptive enough. But he didn't. He still treated Henry with respect. Deference. Described as "polite submission and respect".

With Henry, Bunny was totally emotionally vulnerable. Henry reactedd explosively twice during their arguments. The first is when he slapped Bunny so hard that he "left a big white mark on his cheek", and the second where he broke that chair when Bunny was fighting him in his room. Despite losing control, Henry maintained a level of composure. Bunny never did. He became hysterical each time, screaming and becoming violent the first time, but sobbing himself to sleep (IN HENRYS BED) the second time.

He slept in his bed. There was literally no reason for him to do that.

Except maybe he craved closure. Maybe he just missed his best friend. Maybe he was too shaken up to move from his spot.

And I don't want none of you fools being all "Henry didn't gaf about Bunny."

This is Henry's reaction to Richard essentially saying "You thought Bunny wouldn't be a problem??" And then reiterating that they're old friends.

Do you even understand the implications of that last line? Bunny, whose entire being was hidden under a carefully crafted persona, admitted his family's SHORTCOMINGS with HENRY. Bunny, whose image was everything for him. Perhaps his image WAS his raison d'etre. Bunny, who lived life as an illusion of his true self, projecting away his insecurities. Bunny, who would never admit that he was poor, that his family was flawed in any way, told Henry this. How many more things do you think he confessed, or what other parts of his past and home did he reveal?

Yes, he could have just been telling Henry those things to mooch him off, but he also mooched off his other friends.they didn't know a thing. Marion, who I believe his family hadn't met yet (?) Probably didn't even know. Amd if youre from a dysfunctional home, you already know the only people you've told about your home are special, hand-picked.

Henry was also the first and only person Bunny told about Camilla/Charles.

Perhaps it hurt him, being left out of such a major events of Henry's life because Bunny was sharing practically everything with him.

Alls I'm saying is, Henry meant more to Bunny than most people realize (and dare I say, vice versa), and the only reason people don't see it is because RICHARD didn't see it (fool saw the potential of the dynamic but then was like "nah bunny's too ugly for that").

Bunny was most definitely either a repressed bisexual/gay man, and you cannot change my mind. And while his hatred of women is vile and inexcusable, it stemmed from a place of deep personal issues and insecurities.

Anyway. I'm done rambling LOL.

#MAN I KIND OF HYPERFIXATED ONNTHIS POST MY BAD #i hope i converted some poor soul out there to winterbunny #RICHARD SLANDER FOREVER #tsh #henry winter #tsh donna tartt #winterbunny #the secret history #winterhare #camilla macaulay #richard papen #bunny corcoran #marion barnbridge #katherine corcoran

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aromantic-diaries · 11 months

Text

In honor of the first ever aromantic visibility day I dedided to share my own story

A lot of the time I talk about how I should have known earlier but I guess we can say no one really told me anything. For as long as I can remember I never understood the way people fell in love. As a small kid I thought marriage was just a milestone that everyone had to reach in order to start a family and everyone just picked out a person they liked. A lot of the boys in kindergarten had crushes on me for whatever reason but I didn't really care, none of them ever caught my eye. I was focused on my best friend

The overwhelming presence of romance in the media never failed to annoy me. Why are all the songs about love? I complained about this and my friends shut me down. Why is everyone so obsessed with shipping? I guess I don't get it. Romance is everywhere and I was sick of it

When I was about 10 I randomly decided it was time to develop a crush. So I looked around and picked out a random boy that I previously had no interest in and decided I liked him. It was nothing more than a few daydreams and sometimes we spoke to eachother but I never pursued him. One time we talked about dreams and he told me about how cool it was whenever he'd have dreams about stealing cars and influenced by him I had a dream where I stole a car. I forgot about this brief crush and later I looked back and realised I never really liked him

Me and my best friend stayed in touch for a long time. Throughout our friendship she had a lot of crushes which she would get really invested in. I never did. I listened to her go on and on about whatever boy she liked while thinking about how I've never been in love. I didn't want to fall in love but some part of me wondered what it was like. I assumed that I'd grow into it one day and someone special would come into my life and I'd finally fall in love. The years went by and anytime I had any potential crush I hated the idea of it and ignored it until I forgot.

I was about 12 when I first started questioning my sexuality. For the longest time I believed I was straight but then the thought of liking girls came up. I was scared of this idea but I couldn't help but wonder if I was a lesbian, no matter how hard I tried to convince myself I liked boys. But I didn't really like girls besides thinking they were pretty. Then I learned about bisexuality. It made sense to me and I was relieved that I didn't have to choose after all. What followed was a long internal struggle of self acceptance, then I came out to a few of my friends and the idea of bisexuality became central to my identity, regardless of the fact that I had never actually been attracted to a boy or a girl in my life.

I was 13 going on 14 when I thought it finally happened and that I had fallen in love. With whom? My best friend that I had known for my whole life. It just made sense because she had always been there for me, she had been my closest friend for ten years. At first I was infatuated with this idea but later on it became a burden and I just wanted to get over it. Eventually I told her and as I should have expected, she didn't feel the same way. I didn't try to push her to like me. The rejection hurt and for a long time I couldn't get over it but I let the idea go. But was I really in love with her or was she just the most important person in my life? I never wanted more than what we already had. Regardless, this was the closest I ever got to being in love

By this time I was already on tumblr and making friends online. A little while after my heartbreak I made friends with three people who shared my interests. To cut a long story short, two of the people in the group both admitted to shipping me and the other person, which struck me pretty suddenly but we both played along with it. I started wondering if I actually liked them and after a short while they confessed and I said I liked them too, so we started dating. It was actually a really pleasant relationship but throughout it I couldn't help but feel like I was leading him on or lying. Usually I'd either act way too flirty with him as if I was exaggerating, or I just spoke to them like they were my best friend rather than my romantic partner. I liked him a lot but not romantically.

I eventually learned the term 'aromantic'. I didn't really think it could ever be me. Surely I wasn't. Even though I related to an awful lot of what aros on tumblr talked about, I remained in denial. Over and over I told myself I'm not aromantic, I've always wanted romance, right?

As I got older the idea of romance became less and less appealing. I used to like it but eventually I started to feel put off by the very idea of it. I thought a lot about things I had learned in the aromantic community and began to realise that I didn't quite understand the difference between romantic and platonic love. Was romance really that great? Was I just afraid of being vulnerable? Or did I just convince myself that I even felt romantic attraction because I was afraid that if I didn't, I would be left out or incomplete. I remembered just how disinterested I was when I was younger. That surely would have meant I was aromantic, right? I reminded myself of all the "crushes" I had and that I was in a romantic relationship, and still it didn't feel right. But I didn't want to admit it. It came up again and again over the years but despite that I never wanted to think about it.

Cut to one night before my 17th birthday. I'm still scrolling mindlessly, even though my brain is barely awake. I should go to sleep. Then out of nowhere it comes up again, I'm too tired to filter my thoughts. What if I am aromantic after all? I can't be. I'm just about to jump to my alibis when another thought crosses my mind. What if I tried to think it over without trying to disprove it? I give it a shot and the more I think about it the more it makes sense. Oh god. I jump onto discord and start rambling about it in the vent channel of a server I'm in. It all makes so much sense. I go to bed

The next day. I am now 17 and since I don't have plans I go out to buy myself a birthday present with the money I received. I have a lot of time to myself and I think about last night, now awake. It all makes sense. Everything that felt odd before now adds up perfectly. Then the guilt kicks in. I have to tell my partner. I feel awful, but I decide that I would rather be honest and potentially hurt them than keep up a lie and feel even more guilty. I finally spill it and though surprised, they're accepthing. Suddenly everything feels amazing and I'm so overjoyed I almost forget it's my birthday. I come out on tumblr and I make an aro bracelet that I start wearing every day.

And so life goes on. It took me a while to fully accept myself but I got to learn a lot about myself and eventually I was no longer mourning the fact that I don't feel romantic attraction. Some people are very understanding and supportive, others don't quite get it, but I'm happy. One day I decided to start a sideblog for sharing my thoughts and feelings about aromanticism, and that's how we got aromantic-diaries. At first it didn't get much attention but it's gathered a following in the past months which never fails to make me happy because it's absolutely amazing to see that I can be a source of comfort for people like me

So there's my story! If you read it all the way through, hi! I hope you're having a great day today!

#aro #aromantic

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lmskitty · 9 days

Text

I think one of the things I love most about family AU satosugu ATM is just because of the way the canon went we never got to see characters have normal happy lives and I love thinking about that. I adore @ziyuanyuan1113 art for this reason (among many). All those perfect little normal family moments that never got to be.

So here's my fave headcanons atm ( @thequeenofsarcaasm and @uotuok might notice a few we discussed today 😅)

Geto and Nanako have dad daughter time where they watch reality TV. Geto is the cattiest bitch known to man and is always horrifically brutal about the show and Nanako loves it. Megumi always says reality TV is garbage and he would never watch it but he always somehow ends up making his coffee in the kitchen the exact moment it's on and stands there making comments. If they mention how he seems to be rather invested he will leave without a word so now they make no comment on him.

When the kids are quite young Gojo comes home to find Tsumiki, Nanako and Mimiko in princess dresses and Geto wearing a crown with his hair being braided. Megumi hands Gojo a crown and explains that they're two films deep into a princess party and have just watched Tangled and he wants to kill them all, he has also been forced into a princess dress. Gojo instantly puts on the crown. Days later they catch Megumi singing "I've got a dream" to himself as he plays with his toys despite having described the princess party as traumatising.

Shoko is a big part of the kids lives, she takes them out when Geto has his therapy appointments and Gojo is on a mission, she spends long weekends with them when she can and her and their group chat is filled with pictures of the kids being adorable or memes.

Geto and Gojo get into routines and home life after years of arguing about household chores. Gojo has to be taught how to tidy properly and constantly forgets. It is always somehow the dishwasher that is the main culprit as he always forgets to check if something is dishwasher safe and he has unfortunately destroyed so many of their kitchen items.

Geto and Gojo do skin care routines together and love relaxing and listening to murder podcasts while they give each other manicures/pedicures, Gojo used to get it all done professionally but much prefers the time with his husband though they keep figuring out the murders are definitely just local curses in their podcasts so that ruins it a bit. Megumi caught Geto sorting out Gojo's ingrown toenail in the front room once and told them to get a room, a disgusted look on his face as Gojo yelled that they did, they'd paid for the whole house actually???

The satosugu house has a family dinner night once a month which everyone attends including Megumi who moved out to be at Jujutsu high. This is usually done by Tsumiki and Gojo as they love doing recipes together from Pinterest and cooking together. The twins are not great at cooking. Nanako cannot make toast without burning it, Mimiko finds it stressful and doesn't like to try. Megumi on the other hand is amazing at cooking but finds his family too loud as there is always music and Geto and Gojo dancing together and embarrassing him.

Later down the line Megumi finds his favourite method of cooking is he and Yuji in their kitchen in their flat with lofi on in the background, enjoying each others company. He finds he doesn't mind the noise or even dancing so long as it's just him and Yuji, and sometimes Nobara if she's staying over. (Nobara is not allowed to cook. She causes fires)

#headcanons #satosugu #itafushi #goge #gego #stsg #satosugu family au #satosugu family #my writing

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qxldnya · 1 year

Text

Enemies to lovers

Part 1 part 2 part 3

Jude Bellingham x baller!reader

Taglist now open

Wc: 2k

Warning: past flashback, swearing

⚠️ A/n: PLS STOP SPAMMING ME! I beg man 😭 i will post parts as soon as i can and people spamming me everywhere only puts me off this. If you wanna be apart of the taglist comment down below<3 THANK YOU FOR 900 FOLLOWERS <3

"A favor?"

You repeat, the words feeling thick and heavy on your tongue. A part of you suspects that he's about to pull a fast one and make some belittling joke at your expense.

Or he's going to ask you to do something completely impossible for him, just so he can prove his point that, haha, you fucked up!

Because there's really no conceivable reason that he would-

"You need me to act as your boyfriend for the wedding thing. Fine. But I need you to..."

He trails off, and you stare in awe as a light pink hue dusts his cheeks. Is Jude... blushing? You'd seen him blush out of rage before, many times actually, but never... shyness? Is that what this even is?

"...It'll be easier if I just explain it first."

Nodding, you feel like you're stuck in some kind of trance as he sits down on top of the desk next to yours. He sighs again, and then those blood-red eyes are focused on you.

"My parents are... fuckin' nutcases. I don't know if you've heard much about them, but they're kinda well- respected in England. Not like your aunt, just pretty influential in politics n' shit."

You openly stare at him, head tilted.

"I, uh, don't follow."

A glare. "So let me fucking finish then, eh?"

Bristling, you bite your tongue and grit out a strained apology. He just rolls his eyes in response and continues on.

"Anyways, my mom's been creepily invested in like, making sure I have a girlfriend so I can 'continue the family lineage.' I'm still 19 so it doesn't make much sense, but it's just for her to show it off I guess."

He makes air quotes with his fingers as he speaks, and you almost want to laugh a bit because the idea of Jude having a wife and kids is just... unrealistic. He looks away, eyes hardening as his tone shifts into something more somber. "So then I had a girlfriend, but we uh, broke up a few months ago."

Hold the fucking phone. Jude had a girlfriend? Like, as in living breathing girl? Who was interested in actually dating him?

Your attempt to conceal the look of shock clearly written across on your face utterly fails, because Jude instantly notices before you can even try to correct yourself. The look he gives you makes your spine go rigid.

"The fuck you looking like that for?"

"Nothing," you say a bit too quickly. "so then what about the rest of the favor?" He scowls for a few moments longer, as if he's wondering if he really wants to pursue an argument right now, then thankfully drops the issue altogether and continues talking. You let out a breath you weren't even aware you'd been holding, feeling slightly victorious at the fact that for once you've managed to avoid a giant mess. It's a nice change of pace.

"As I was saying, we broke up, but my mom doesn't know that. Hell, she didn't even meet my girlfriend to begin with. Was just happy to know I had one, and then bragged about it to all her friends or whatever."

Your fingers begin to drum wildly against your desk. You've got a feeling you know where this is going, and it does not appeal to you.

"But you're single now, so she doesn't know?"

"Yeah. Which is where you come in."

Yep. Laughing nervously, you stand from your seat and grab your bag, slinging it over your shoulder.

"Yeah, look... I know I fucked up with the whole phone call thing, and I'm sorry about that, but I am NOT going to be your pretend girlfriend for god knows how long just because your mom-"

He makes a face, appearing as if you've just gravely offended him.

"What? Why the fuck would I ever want that? Idiot, it's only going to be for one night, not a year."

A short laugh escapes his lips, curt and blunt. “You think I'd enjoy having you of all people as my girlfriend?"

You wince, because ouch, but at the same time, you'd probably reply with the exact same thing had he been the one to insinuate that. So it's fair, you suppose. "Only one night?" Is your hesitant response. "My mom's got a stupid party with her fellow political snobs coming up in a week," he grumbles, leg swinging impatiently.

"I just need you to pose as my girlfriend for the party. That's all."

Mulling over your options, you bite your lip and give him a skeptical glance.

"So that's it? And then you'll- you'll do the wedding thing with me?"

Jude nods. You then start to feel slightly bad, because here he is only requiring you to act as his significant other for one night, whereas you'll be having him act for a week... "Are you sure it's a fair exchange?" You mumble, nervously picking at the seams of your shorts. Rolling his eyes for the billionth time, he hops off of the desk and snorts.

"I get out of having my mom scream at me and get a free vacation to fucking Malibu?"

"The Bahamas," you correct him.

Another eye roll. You silently hope that they stay stuck in the back of his head someday.

"Whatever, same difference. So yeah, it's a pretty fair exchange.

I mean, we just fake "break up" after the wedding or whatever." He hums to himself a bit, before grimacing slightly. His next words are nothing more but a mumble, and you strain to hear them.

"But, if anything, we're both kinda getting fucked over here." You narrow your eyes suspiciously. "Hey, hold on, I never explicitly agreed to all of this. What do you mean by that?"

A sort of realization dawns on him. He slowly faces you before flashing a sarcastic grin in response, his sharp canines now visible at the corners of his mouth.

"Come on, you didn't think this was gonna be as easy as just saying we're dating and expecting people to believe it, did you?"

Heat rises to your cheeks. "I- I don't follow." "It means," he says, taking a few slow steps towards you. "that you and I are gonna have to actually play the part. I mean if we're both all stiff-shouldered and awkward, ya think your aunt is really be convinced that we're actually dating?"

"I mean, it- it doesn't matter too much, right?"

God, you hope your face isn't as red as it feels. And then Jude is directly in front of you, both of his hands squarely planted on the desk as he looms over you. You're now certain that it is as red as it feels. It's unclear to you if you're more flustered over the blatant invasion of your personal space, or... no, you're not finishing that thought.

"Here's the thing, 'babe,' " he growls, his voice strained. "you can try and convince your aunt about whatever the fuck you want. I'm definitely not complaining if I don't have to bring the whole romance shtick along on the trip. That would be ideal, actually, cause there's no way I'm trying to shack up with you."

His face is now only inches from yours, hot breath slightly fanning across your cheeks. You think your heart has leapt straight into your throat. Since when has it been this hard to breathe?

"But with my family, you're not getting away with any of that half-assed crap. So whether you like it or not - and I can assure you that I for one don't -we're gonna have to get used to acting like a real couple. Otherwise, this isn't gonna work. Understand?"

You physically cannot move, only offering a blank stare in response. He smirks in a patronizing sort of way, seemingly mistaking your bewildered reaction for one of fear. As if he expected you to react this way all along.

"Unless, of course, princess prude here can't do that. So make your choice."

Hold on, is he trying to scare you off?

Oh, he definitely is.

He takes your momentary silence as an answer and chuckles.

"That's what I thought."

You've been described as a lot of things that you can agree with. Easily flustered, hard-headed, passionate... the list goes on. You've also been described as incredibly stubborn. Petty, too. And those statements are just as factual.

"Well, if you change your mind, I'll probably have until tomorrow before I go looking for a stand-in" Jude shrugs, finally backing up from your desk and turning toward the door.

"but otherwise, if you can't do it, we're probably done here-"

All things considered, you're guessing that he probably didn't expect you to stand from your seat and grab him roughly by the back of his shirt. He lets out a startled noise as you yank him towards you, forcing him to face you as your fist bunches in his collar. Pulling him down to meet you eye-to-eye, your response is forced from your lips with a ferocity that surprises even you.

"Try me." You regret the words the momont they leave your mouth. But you're too busy relishing in Jude startled expression to really care. He stares at you for a few moments longer, seemingly dumbfounded, before abruptly prying your hand off of him with a look of disdain. He smoothes out his shirt with a smile.

"Damn, didn't know princess prude had some balls on her."

Trying to maintain your false facade of confidence, you cross your arms stubbornly.

"The joke's only funny once. Don't call me that." And for a moment you swear he smirks, a smirk that's not full of hatred or sarcasm for once, but it's quickly replaced with his normal resting bitch face that you've seen so frequently over the course of the past semester. "Alright," he grumbles.

"Let me give you my number so we can plan shit out." You hand him your phone, and he quickly punches in his contact before carelessly tossing it back to you. It almost slips from your grasp, and you glare daggers at him as you fumble to recover it.

"Watch it, asshole." He just sniggers.

"Yeah, whatever. Anyways I'm blasting this dump. Later, princess prude." "I said, don't fucking call me that!"

You shout after him as he exits the room, fists trembling with anger.

"Whatever the princess commands."

"You're not funny!"

"Don't care." It's the last thing you hear before he disappears out of the room and down the hallway, leaving you to stand in place, furious, and process what exactly you just agreed to. Jude is your fake boyfriend. What the fuck?

It feels taboo to even think about. An even scarier realization that hits you with the speed of a freight train is that to everyone else, Jude is now your real boyfriend.

Crouching down, you wrap your arms around your knees and resist the urge to scream. By the time you make it through the rest of your classes and back to your apartment, you think you're about to drop dead on your feet. You'd been too focused on what had happened back in the empty room with Jude to really pay attention to any of your lectures, instead debating whether or not you should just call the whole thing off and stick to trying to pay your aunt back, or roll with it and move onto the next set of problems that would arise from sticking with it. Is he still going to tell people you two aren't actually dating? Are you still going to be outed as a liar?

God, you hope not. Hell, you'd even written out a whole pros and cons list during your last class, which you were now reviewing from the privacy and comfort of your bed.

PROS: No Tom (Jude is somehow more bearable, cause at least he's not a creep) Aunt + Mom are happy (no guilt-tripping) Don't have to pay aunt Sylvie back VACATION TO BAHAMAS??? Maybe won't be outed for "lying" (did I lie tho) Not permanent I'm technically doing something nice for someone else at

I'm technically doing something nice for someone else at the same time :))))

(kind of, fuck you Jude)

CONS: He's not Tom but he's also still Jude and that means that I have to deal with the asshole for basically a month

Family is gonna ask questions Prep stuff for the fake dating I guess Oh god do I have to kiss him??

Might still have to deal with the Rice thing and being called a liar Have to deal with HIS family asking questions And... that's about it.

At first glance, you try to convince yourself that both sides are semi-even, but... the cons are mostly superficial or just plain uncertain, now that you look at them. And the pros are stupidly strong and... shit.... The only big thing you'll be sacrificing is your dignity. And your time and patience. No, no. That's still worth something right? Maybe not. Are you seriously about to go along with this? And as if on cue, your phone buzzes with a text from Jude.

From: Jude

6:17 PM

Hey, I told Rice the rumors are true. Might be easier for you and I to keep our story straight. We can just tell him we broke up

You stare quizzically at the message for a few moments, sort of in awe. He still sounds as harsh as ever but this is... oddly considerate of him.

Did someone steal his phone or something?

From: Jude

6:19 PM

Your name in my phone is Princess Prude, just thought you should know.

Never mind.

Definitely the same guy.

From: You

6:20 PM

Why

From: Jude

6:20 PM

Cause it pisses you off

From: you

6:21 PM

was about to thank you for what I thought was a really nice gesture but now all I have to say is fuck you

You make a new contact name for him and send a screenshot.

From: Judyhoe

6:22 PM

The fuck? "Judyhoe?" You've got some meedy insults yk. And the feeling is mutual btw

He sends a middle finger emoji with nothing else, and you suppose that's the end of the conversation.

But despite all the insults, his infuriating personality, and the shit you're probably going to have to put up with...

At least he's not Tom

Naturally, Mason had been the first in your admittedly small social circle to know the truth; he was probably your closest friend on camp at this point. And considering the fact that you had kind of ghosted her since the end of training, you supposed it was only right to fill him in on what was going on.

That, and you weren't sure if you'd remain mentally stable enough if you'd kept all of this a secret.

"Are you shitting me?" Was the first thing he'd said when you'd finally picked up her calls. The whole ordeal had been explained over text - a tedious process, looking back.

But you'd just been too embarrassed to recount everything out loud.

"No," you mumble, rolling over in your bed so you can stare at the ceiling. "I swear I'm not."

You hear him inhale sharply, before he starts laughing like a maniac. Reddening, you clench your fists as you sit up in bed, shouting words of indignation into the speaker as he continues to cackle at your expense.

"You and Jude-" he seems to be almost laughing through tears.

"You guys are faking... This can't be real. You guys are like Arsenal and spurs!" Grumbling, you slouch.

"I know, and yes, it is real."

"Are- are you two sharing a fucking BED on your vacation?" He howls, trying to catch his breath, and you try your damndest not to hang up right then and there as your face goes aflame at his suggestion.

"No!" Comes your high-pitched squeal.

"Me? Share a bed with that asshole? He would probably suffocate me in my sleep!"

"I dunno, maybe it's the perfect time to figure out if one of you has a degrading kink-" Grinding your teeth, you glare down at your phone.

"If you don't shut up, I'm going to end the call." he half-heartedly apologizes as his laughter dissolves into giggles.

You just sigh, one hand rubbing at your temples. This is going to be a painfully long month.

"So..." he starts. "how do you honestly feel about it?" his tone is genuinely curious this time.

Humming, you search for an answer. "I don't know," is your honest reply. "I'm relieved, because it kinda solved three problems all at once but... I'm also really dreading the whole thing. I'm scared something's gonna get fucked up along the way."

A short laugh. "Fair enough. I'll be surprised if you two don't kill each other before the whole party thing." You silently agree.

"So like, to convince his parents, is he gonna have to practice kissing you or something?"

The sound that leaves your mouth is nothing short of a squeak. Oh, you can practically hear him grinning over the phone.

"Oh? Looks like someone isn't prepared. What if he pulls you onto his lap, huh? Wraps his arms around your waist..."

"That's not- Shut up!" is your garbled reply, throat constricting at the thought. "If I didn't know any better, you sound flustered~" he purrs.

No, you protest very firmly. You aren't flustered. You're just grossed out. The thought is appalling to you. One hundred percent. He can tell that you're lying. And shit, why the fuck is it making you flustered? He's a fucking dickhead. And you genuinely do hate him. But he's a hot dickhead, a voice in the back of your head whispers, and you try to beat it over the head with an imaginary baseball bat. Ok. Fine. He's attractive. You'll admit it. And you hate it, because otherwise, you wouldn't be nearly as flushed thinking about all of this.

And why do all the assholes get to be attractive??

You don't realize you've said all of this aloud to Mason until he bursts out laughing again, much to your embarrassment, and then you have to spend a whole five minutes shutting him up. He's not going to let you live this down. Not for a long while. The two of you continue to talk about the logistics of the arrangement for about an hour longer - you pointedly ignore a few of the sly jokes he slips in here and there - before he has to leave for his family dinner

And when the call finally ends, you can't help but feel a tiny bit relieved that this isn't a secret you need to carry alone anymore.

Your phone buzzes with a text.

From: money mase

8:49 PM Just always remember the importance of condoms and good ol birth control

You should've just kept your mouth shut. From: You

8:50 PM I have no idea why you're so convinced that we're going to do anything. This is literally a contract out of convenience.

From: money mase

8:51 PM That's what they all say, mate

From: You

8:52 PM The day I fuck Jude is the day you finally confess to Declan

He doesn't respond to that one. The rest of the night passes without much of a hitch. You do get a few curious messages on your social media asking about Jude, but you elect to ignore them for now, favoring the sweet embrace of sleep.

And when you finally manage to drift off to sleep after what feels like ages of constant tossing and turning, your dreams are filled with brown eyes that burn through your body over and over, until nothing of you remains but charred ash.

From: Judyhoe

8:15 AM Meet me today at my apartment after lunch so we can plan shit out for the party. I've only got one massage class, so I'll be here all day. And don't keep me waiting

Waking up to a text from Jude feels like whiplash. (a/n referenced the best movie to exist;)

And waking up to a text from Jude demanding you to come to his apartment, of all places, more so. And what does he mean by "plan shit out?" You mull over whether or not you should fake sick and bail, gingerly sipping at your coffee. But then comes the reminder that all of this technically counts as an obligation now, thanks to your poor critical thinking skills that are permanently coupled with your big fat mouth

You told him to send his adress. He does, and you can't help but gawk when you recognize the location because holy shit, it's in a really nice area in London. You always seemed to forget that some on the team lives by themselves rather than on camp like you. Simply out of convenience. Your cat rubs against your ankles with a purr, and you pick her up, scratching behind her ears as you silently pray that today won't be a complete disaster on your end.

Unfortunately, things are already looking glum. The stares are even more prominent today. Probably a result of Jude's confirmation with Declan about it all. You even overhear a huddled group of girls whispering as you pass, shooting you a few glares. You try your best to ignore it all, but by the time you slide into your seat at lunch, you want to do nothing but hide.

It'll pass, you think to yourself, desperate for consolation. He's basically a high class celebrity, so of course it's a hot topic. But it'll pass soon. Old news. Despite your anxiety about, well, everything, everything pass by far too quickly.

It's 4 PM before you even realize it. Wait, why are you so worked up over this? It's just a stupid meeting. Nothing weird is going to happen. It's just a result of everything Mason said last night. And even if you have to practice being... being a couple, it's not like he's going to do anything

Right? You should bail. But as you pull up his messages and start typing out an excuse to remain hiding at home with your cat, you can practically envision Jude calling you "princess prude" again, and it's all the conviction you need to erase the stupid message, grab your bag, and stride as you confidently head for his apartment.

The confidence lasts for a whole twenty minutes, until you reach the lobby of the apartment building. You're not sure if it can even be classified as a lobby, it looks more like a resort. There's even a bar to the right.

You instantly feel out of place, suddenly hyper-aware of your admittedly plain looking clothing in contrast to the other walking around in designer brands. Not because you couldn't afford them but because it wouldn't fit you.

Shit, maybe you should've worn something your aunt gifted you... You catch a few people giving you sideways glances, some hostile, others curious. Probably recognizing who you were. Pulling out your phone, you retreat to a corner and quickly send a text to Jude.

From: You

4:25 PM I'm here please come down idk how this place works and the posh people are staring at me

From: Judyhoe

4:25 PM are you serious

You wait for a few more minutes, idly shuffling your feet as you try your best to stay out of everyone's direct line of sight.

Not just because you definitely look out of place, but also because the people living here probably know Jude. Which means they also probably know about Jude.

Which means they also probably know about you. And there seems to be very mixed reception to that. And then you spot him coming into the lobby, adorning a plain black tank top and matching black sweats. And for a second, you want to laugh, because he looks just as out of place as you do.

But he very obviously isn't, judging from the way that everyone greets him as he passes.

He offers nothing more than a nod of acknowledgement in response, even to the two glammed up girls that try to rest their hands on his arms in an attempt to stop him long enough for a brief conversation.

He just shrugs them off and keeps walking, narrowed eyes scanning the room in search of you. Stepping out of your little hiding place, you try to nonchalantly raise a hand to catch his attention, hoping that no one takes much notice of you.

Jude spots you, and his eyes narrow even more as he storms over to where you awkwardly stand.

"Why didn't you just come up?" He hisses, stopping right in front of you. People are staring. "I- What do you mean?" His voice drops an octave, and hushes to nearly a whisper. "Do you know how this looks? How much attention we're drawing to ourselves?

"Shit, I told Mason to tell everyone it was true, but I didn't want it to be a fucking spectacle."

Trying to keep your expression neutral, you respond through gritted teeth.

"I'm sorry that I don't know how to navigate your huge apartment lobby. There's so many stupid hallways and rooms down here, why does it all look so fucking fancy and expensive?"

"What?you're literally a fotballer you are loaded."

"Yeah, but not posh loaded, everything is in the bank you i do not show it off dickhead," you huff indignantly, eyes darting around nervously. Jude looks like he wants to say more, but it quickly comes to his attention that the two of you are on the verge of causing a scene.

There's quite a few people watching the two of you, some more obviously than others. The two girls that tried to hit on him are muttering something to themselves and "subtly" pointing at you, something the both of you are quick to notice.

You can't help but shrink in on yourself, feeling exposed and more than a bit humiliated. Why the fuck couldn't he just act normal and wait until you were in private to tell you this? Jude's eyes flicker from them, then back to you. Then, with a scowl, he grabs your hand - not your wrist this time and pulls you along behind him to the other end of the lobby where he first appeared from. You can't fight the blush that works its way onto your cheeks as his calloused palm envelops your own. Since when is hand-holding this embarrassing? You feel as if you're committing an act of public indecency.

Thankfully, your previous anger helps to combat the unwelcome feelings, and you silently fume as he pulls you into one of the several elevators lined up along either side of the hallway. Punching the button to one of the highest floors, he finally lets go of your hand, and you can't help but sigh out of relief.

There's an awkward moment of silence as the elevator begins to rise. You stare at the excessive amount of decor. It's a fucking elevator, why does it need a mini- chandelier?

"I... thought you'd come earlier." Jude breaks the silence first. "London traffic ," you muttered. More silence. The silence lasts for the rest of the elevator ride. The doors ding open with a merry chime. and Jude steps doors ding open with a merry chime, and Jude steps out, hesitating briefly to ensure that you're following before striding down the hallway.

You trail behind, marveling at how your shoes slightly sink into the plush carpeting. The whole place is impressive to look at, actually, and you get lost in the painted gold embellishments on the light blue wallpaper.

So lost, in fact, that you don't notice when Jude abruptly stops in front of a door, turning to face you. You look back just in time to face plant into his chest.

Letting out a startled yelp, you quickly jerk back and lose your balance, falling straight onto your ass. He just stares down at you, dumbfounded, as you rub at your nose with a wince. Why the fuck is his chest rock solid? You think to yourself, groaning.

"Look where you're fucking walking," Jude mutters with a glare, extending a hand for you to take. Prick. You bat it away, stubbornly standing on your own with only a tiny bit of struggle. He just rolls his eyes and turns to unlock the door, cursing as he fumbles with the key. It jingles a few times, and then the tell tale click of the lock gives way. When the door is open, you can't help but eagerly follow him inside, admittedly curious to see what a rich boy's apartment looks like. Does he have a master bathroom? TV's everywhere? Maybe some gold bars lying around? It's just a whole lot of nothing, much to your disappointment. He throws his keys on the kitchen counter as you take in your surroundings with a raised eyebrow.

The whole place is... minimalist, to say the least. Save for a few dumbbells lying around, a couch in the living area, and a clean and tidy kitchen, the rest of the space is bare. There's obviously appliances and a large flatscreen TV, but you'd really expected... more. Maybe some gold curtains, a regal throne even. Jude walks over to the living room and throws himself on the couch.

"Is your nose ok?" He asks, kicking his feet up on the ottoman in front of him with his arms folded behind his head.

You're not sure if it's the sudden privacy, the recent memory of colliding face first with his chest, or the fact that his pose just really... accentuates everything, but it's then that you really realize just how tight his tank top is, how clearly it defines every dip and curve of his muscles underneath and... no wonder you busted your nose.

Shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up

Forcing a nod, you swallow thickly.

"Uh- yeah." He grunts in response, then finally hunches over to rest his elbows on his knees - much to your relief - before sending an apathetic glance your way.

"So."

"So," you mimic uncertainly, finally taking a seat as far away from him as possible.

"The party is in six days," he says.

"And let me tell you, there's gonna be a lot more to it than just acting like you're obsessed with me and... vice versa or whatever. You're gonna be around more..."

He trails off, scrunching his eyebrows. "How did you put it? "posh" people, innit. So yeah, you're gonna need to learn how to act proper and, y'know, when to finally shut the fuck up."

He says that last sentence with a smirk, and you glower at him from your position on the couch.

"Are you serious? 'Act proper?' What, you think I'm some kind of barbarian?"

A wolfish grin stretches across his face. "You? A barbarian? Nah, you're too ditzy to be a barbarian."

Ditzy. Your father's eyes darken as he leers down at you, teeth grit together. You try not to cry, ignoring the way your eyes water as the broken plate trembles from within your grasp. "Fucking brain-dead," he slurs, breath reeking of alcohol. "That's what you are. You gonna grow up to be as ditzy as your mother? Huh?"

"Don't say that." You can feel anger rising, reddening your cheeks, but you do your best to remain calm. He shrugs, your serious tone going unnoticed.

"Ditzy. There, I said it. I mean, you probably don't know shit about the customs, so-"

You stand, still trying to maintain your composure but everything feels a bit fuzzy now.

"I said, don't call me that." And the fucker just laughs, glaring at you like he's challenging you.

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Because. I don't give a shit about the other nicknames, but that is something I don't want you calling me." Jude glowers at you for a few moments, before relenting with an eye roll.

"Fine. Jesus." And then he's blabbing off stuff about fancy customs, and you're finally starting to calm down, trying to tune in on what he's saying.

"My dad's kinda seen as the authority of the household, even though that's really my mom, but if you see him, you need to address him with respect."

You couldn't help but giggle a bit.

"Is that funny to you?"Jude's voice cuts through your thoughts, and when you turn to look at through your thoughts, and when you turn to look at him, he seems pretty pissed.

You just shrug, not really sure what to say. And Judd does not like that. "Hey, you might think all of this is a joke and that's fine, but my dad's cool. So just be respectful, asshole."

"I never said I wasn't going to be!"

"Then don't laugh when I tell you to be respectful!" You don't have a response to that, you'll admit. "Bitch," he mutters under his breath.

"Dick wad," you respond just as quietly.

"The fuck did you say?"

"Nothing, you stuck-up asshole." And the tension's back, thick in the air and hanging onto every spoken word. You stare each other down for what feels like an eternity, before you finally fold. This is all so exhausting.

"Ok, we can't do this anymore." He wrinkles his nose. "What?"

"This!" You gesture to him and then yourself. "We keep going for each other's throats and it's like, how are we supposed to pretend to be in love, when everything feels like a constant fight?"

"Not my fault."

"It's both of our faults!"

"You basically insulted my father," he growls. "You got pissy when I told you not to call me 'ditzy!' It was a simple request!" Jude groans, flopping back onto the couch to pinch his brow.

"Fine. What are you suggesting?"

Folding your hands together, you give him a stern look. "A truce."

He raises an eyebrow. "Which means...? Cause let's get one thing straight. I refuse to act like your little buddy buddy. We aren't friends." Sighing, you rub at your eyes.

"Ouch. That's not what I was aiming for, but thanks for the confirmation."

He just grunts, crossing his arms like a petulant child. "Ok, so then what?"

"No more fighting. No more trying to rile each other up every second of the damn day. That's what it means."

You stick out your hand.

"Just until the vacation is over. Alright? I'm not asking you to be friends." Jude looks at your outstretched hand suspiciously.

"So you're gonna actually listen to what I have to say about the party? The shit you're gonna have to learn?" You nod. "And you're gonna need to listen when I tell you not to call me something."

He thinks on it for only a second longer before grabbing your hand to shake it.

"Fine." And when the both of you let go, you almost want to celebrate because, score! Your fake-boyfriend maybe doesn't totally hate your guts anymore. Jude just scoffs, reaching into his pocket to fish out his phone.

Taglist: @valerysimps @like3dbypierregasly @enjoymyloves @capriaura @neymarssideboo @mad-die45

#jude bellingham #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham smut #jude bellingham x reader #trent alexander arnold x reader #football imagine #jude bellingham blurb #jude bellingham fic #jude bellingham fluff #jude bellingham x fotballer reader

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a-random-weeb · 6 months

Text

bsd yandere headcannons

This is just a quick drabble because I have no more requests to write and I constantly need to be writing. ←(This part (the intro) was wrote before I started the event and got a flood of requests. I had so much fun writing this that it's been my own little side thing (Not in the dirty way, weirdos)

Warnings: kidnapping, Stockholm syndrome, murder, slight nsfw in chuuyas part, anything else that comes in yandere writing.

I had a lot of fun writing this, there's a oneshot in chuuyas, theres not one in Dazais, this whole fanfic was really fun to write and I kinda did my own thing for it. I hope you guys like reading it as much as I liked writing it! (This took forever)

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Dazai:

Yandere type: clingy, obsessive

Danger level: 8/10

•He starts off by confessing his feelings

•If you share the same feelings towards him, your relationship will start off normal (other than the constant question of "will you do a double suicide with me?)

•Eventually you become his reason to live, he loves you too much!

•he'll do anything for you, anything. Even hurt himself if you asked him to

•Hed definitely kill for you. The guy who looked at you the wrong way last week? Oh look, his severed head, now where did that come from?

•Hed never hurt you though!

•He loves you, you're his everything, his world, you're perfect in his eyes.

•Now, if you were to reject him, that'd be a different story (this also counts for if you break up with him)

•He'll kidnap you and tie you to a chair in his basement.

•Itd be a pretty cozy chair.

•Hell only untie you when he's sure you won't attempt to attack him or grab the key from him

•When he does untie you, he also upgrades the basement

•He puts a bed down there (Aka his bed because he can't afford another one. He just sleeps on an air mattress upstairs)

•He also invests in a big screen tv for you

•He spends most of his money on you, no matter how much you hate him

Punishments: his punishments differ. Let's say you smashed the expensive big screen tv that was mentioned because you were frustrated or angry at him. He wouldn't buy you another one for quit awhile. He'd also slap you across the face and beat you up a little. If you were to try to run away, it depends. If you succeeded in running away and he got you back in his basement... he'd be furious. He'd torture you for around a week. He hates torturing you, but you have to learn your lesson. He's done so much for you, why would you run away?! If you were to fail, he'd probably hit you a little, but nothing horrible. If you were to try to kill him (and fail obviously) he'd start by killing your best friend. He would only show you a picture of their head for proof, he doesn't want to traumatize you more than you already are. He also might hit you depending on how mad he his, and he's really scary when he's mad surprisingly.

Perks: You get cuddled, a lot. You're basically worshipped. You get to be taken care of by a hot guy, is there much else you want. He also gets you expensive jewelry with kunikidas wallet .

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ༘

Chuuya:

Yandere type: Obsessive/possessive

Danger level: 9/10

•At first he stalks you

•He'll stalk you for about a year before he begins to write you creepy letters. They consist of stuff you've never told anyone

•He knows every little thing about you

•He loves you so much!

•Anyways, his letters also say stuff like what he wants to do to you, or how Bad he wants you

•the letters he will write you would be like

"Dear (your name), i saw you walking your dog today... you looked so cute! Oh how I love you, I can't wait to make you mine... if you date me, I promise to spoil you! I'll praise you for everything and take proper care of you! I'm gonna kidnap you someday soon, just you wait...

Ps: if you call the police, your dog dies

- sincerely, your admirer" it also has a picture of you walking your dog.

•He also writes about his weird fantasies

•slight NSFW in this next letter , just be aware

"God you looked so hot today... god, I just wanna pull as much pleasure from your body while you beg me to stop~ That'll be us some day, just wait princess~

-your secret admirer"

Along with a picture of you changing (Or masterbating if you do that ;])

•you can't tell anyone about these letters, or he'll kill your dog, which makes this whole situation 10× worse

•He does confess in real life to but you reject him because you barely know him and had know idea he wrote the notes

•You go to the police, showing them the letters. You also take your dog

•The police can't find any finger prints or evidence as to where the letter could've come from.

•The next day, your dog goes missing

•You feel incredibly worried

•Soon, you get another letter

•You hesitate to open it, not wanting to know, praying your dog isn't dead

(Tiny oneshots up ahead)

"Oh darling, I told you not to call the police~ do you want me to kill your dog? Don't worry, he's not dead.... yet. Come to xxxx xx (adress) at midnight if you Ever wish to see your dog again, bring no one.

-Secret admirer"

You Reluctantly go to that address at midnight, but you bring a knife. You drive there only to find it's a mansion. You slowly approach the large building, the tension building up. Your eyes widden as you see Chuuya answer the door.

"Oh hey Darling~ you made it!" He has this weird, creepy grin plastered on his face.

"Ch-chuuya? What's happening?!" You ask as as he pulls you inside, locking the door.

"Simple. You're mine." He smashes his lips against yours. You back away, absolutely disgusted, you try to run. He instantly pulls you back "Don't you want to see how your dog is doing?" He whispers seductively in your ear. You tense up and nod "How is he?! You didn't hurt him did you?!" You panic as he chuckles.

"Your dog is fine... for now." He smirks and pulls you to his chest "But for now, let's focus on you, ya?" You can practically hear the arrogance radiating off of him.

"No, let's focus on my dog!" Chuuya scoffs "Shut up about your damn dog already! He's fine! You should be focusing on how you're in my arms, all cute and scared."

"You're mine." He begins to mumble "Mine mine mine mine MINE!"

Punishments: Normally, if you try to attack him or escape he'll lock you in a room for a week. No water for a day, no food for three days. He doesn't want you to go insane, so there is a few mangas and/or books in that room. If you attempt to kill him, successfully run away, or hurt him (which you probably won't) then it's a bit worse. He doesn't want to hurt you, doesn't mean he won't, especially when he loses his temper. He might beat you up until you pass out, but he'll never kill you. After you pass out he'll realize what he's done, sigh, and lift you into bed. He's really scary when he's mad, but he always cuddles you and apologizes after any punishment , giving you a bunch of kisses and praise. Doesn't mean he won't punish you again though, he 100% will, after all, you have to learn your lesson.

Perks: he'll buy you whatever you want, if he trusts you enough, he'll even let you go out by yourself with his black card! He makes you wear a listening device though, and makes sure he knows where you're doing at all times. He's also hidden tracking devices in your clothes, you don't even know where some of the are, you can't feel them. Another benefit is he cuddles you a LOT. He likes to praise you and tell you how pretty you are. He's a great cook, and always makes sure you're well taken care of, even hires a (Very trusted) maid for you!

⋆⭒˚｡⋆⋆˚✿˖°⋆⭒˚｡⋆⋆˚✿˖°⋆⭒˚｡⋆⋆˚✿˖°⋆⭒˚｡⋆⋆⋆⭒˚｡⋆⋆˚✿˖°

Hey guys, sorry I've barely been posting, I've been working on this fic for a while, I wanted to add akutagawa and maybe Atsushi but unfortunately I'm so sick it's hard to think straight and I want to get some fics out for y'all

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galedekarios · 4 months

Note

Something something "Gale is a character who believes the world would be better with him dead and the player can show him that's not true" as a persistent theme of his character arc. *glares at Larian*

Honestly it feels like the Leads fell for the surface level part of Gale's arc. Like, all of them have that shallow impression that the characters themselves are trying to make you believe: Astarion wants you to think he's cruel and suave, Shadowheart is fine with the facade that she's a pawn of her lady of darkness, Lae'zel is brash and rude and initially intolerant of istik society, Wyll plays off the confident persona who has no regrets, Karlach is happy about everything all the time. And Gale's facade is that he's full of himself while simultaneously not being worth the effort.

The game ENCOURAGES you to break that illusion. Astarion's not a seductive wretch, he's scared and securing himself. Shaowheart's whole arc is about retaking her independence. Lae'zel comes to understand the beauty of the world outside what her queen wants. Wyll believes himself to be a perfect sacrifice for others' safety. Karlach is angry, REALLY angry, and terrified. And Gale is desperate to prove himself worthy of everyone's expectations of him, and to hide the mortal side of him he'd been told wasn't worth indulging in.

I feel like that's where the problem is. Gale's writer worked those flaws into Gale's character, with enough moments to show a player who's invested at all in him what the REAL reason is behind his actions, but the other writers didn't bother to invest anything into cracking that open. They took the persona he's trying to push at face value (that and probably not wanting to get on the bad side of the fans who think Gale's annoying due to *checks notes* Larian-side bugs).

Gale killing himself isn't the "right" ending where he "gives back to the world" - but that's what Gale THINKS the "right" ending is, before you prove him otherwise. The dryad test outright says that's what his greatest fear is.

Of COURSE Gale's going to think sacrificing himself for the greater good is the best option if you don't tell him you're willing to fight for him. It's literally the one insecurity that's been consuming his whole being since he got the Orb. Man's been planning his death for over a year. Thanks for not reading past the first page, lead writers.

Sorry for the rant, had to get this off my chest and you've had the most presence in the "why would you tell Gale to kill himself" discussion.

again, don't feel sorry for venting in my inbox! 🖤 i agree with a lot of what you said.

i've seen a lot of speculation as to why the devs said what they said. there is a deluge of posts trying to explain for a variety of reasons and coming up with their own scenarios: gale is supposedly comedic relief (hard disagree btw), they were maybe talking about ea gale, they were just talking about powerful messages, whathaveyou, and i have to say that at the end of the day it doesn't really matter why.

because even if that all was true, it means either one or a combination of the following things:

either they didn't care enough to delve deeper than the extreme surface level & current iteration of their own writing & character

or they parrot the worst reddit & twitter & tunglr talking points to be like how do you do fellow kids with their assumed fanbase

or they have some sort of internal bias

nevermind that the message they sent (intentionally or not) to people identifying with the character for his struggles still very much remains.

#ch: gale dekarios #vg: baldur's gate 3 #series: baldur's gate #text: asks #bg3 critical #larian critical #i'm sorry for taking so long to answer #i'm still recovering from covid (((':

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diamondcitydarlin · 6 months

Text

i think probably the worst part of the whole thing is that I just don't really care anymore, the investment I had at the end of season 1 just straight up no longer exists. no, it's not just bc a blorbo got killed off (and there's a lot of reasons to be angry about that), it's mainly bc most of the characters at this point feel like hollow shells of who they were a season ago, including the stede x ed pairing as a whole (which I really just don't care about anymore at all, sorry). and no it's not bc 'Izzy got all the development and there was no time for anyone else' like of course there was time for everyone else, provided that they hadn't opened the season on all those characters making 180 character changes with no real explanation, provided they hadn't overloaded the damn season with nonsense that goes nowhere. JimxOlu was my OTP after StedexEd in season one, both of them were some of my faves, and not only did neither of them even really resemble who they were in s1, their relationship which was of such great importance in the former just suddenly...is something else now. Not people in love, but 'friends who have fucked once lol' and are wingmen for each other now because...??? Oh but Jim's dating Archie who...*checks notes* was in a Snake Cult? I think? That's about all we get on her, apart from the fact that she likes making out with Jim I guess. And I guess Zheng can't just be a powerful woman character that exists in this narrative without a romance of her own, so let's just toss her together with Olu and never explore or explain that with any kind of depth. Jim has neither trust issues anymore nor do they have ANY interest or investment in their revenge scheme or the Siete Gallos (REMEMBER THAT PLOTLINE?? REMEMBER?? APPARENTLY THE WRITERS DON'T) they're just kind of goofy all the time now for no reason. Olu's leadership arc? His being a confidant to Stede? Where the fuck did any of that go? Are they all a polycule or are they all just separate couple friends? IDK WHO CARES THIS IS HOW IT IS NOW I GUESS. Like, why am I supposed to care about any of that? It doesn't even feel like the characters I watched before.

And StedexEd. Jfc there's so much to say that other people have said better but the constant bringing up of conflicts, breakups, and then immediately resolving those issues with heartfelt reunions/kissing as if that's supposed to be sufficient got really old for me after awhile. The lack of explaining how their 'whim-prone' romance to this point was bad, the lack of explaining how they reconcile their different goals was also bad, but oh they can just go RUN AN INN NOW! Yay happily ever after! ????? "Ed, you've got family" which he immediately leaves to go try another life path he's probably going to suck at and hate WOW so romance. Like either figure it out or break up for good, it just makes them an obnoxious toxic couple who never seem to communicate or bother to try but are supposed to be the one we love the most and are rooting for. And that sucks, because I loved them once! GARBAGE!

There's only so much blame one can put on external factors for this. I worked in production once, I edited scripts and was a go-between for notes and writers, and this is the exact kind of thing I would've felt compelled to point out; we only have x amount of time and x amount of episodes to properly tell these stories, we know this, so maybe lets be realistic about what we can fit in here and do justice and what we can't. Maybe let's not just throw every fucking thing we think of at the wall to see what sticks while completely ignoring/retconning character traits and stories we set up in season 1. But nah, that's what happened!

Like, what is there to watch for at this point if s3 gets greenlit? I fail to find anything that I'd care about seeing continued, even the peripheral characters like Frenchie and Wee John and Roach, whom I also loved before and still do but barely did anything, so I guess I can tune in to watch them do more of nothing? Idk man it sucks when it's not just 'wow that was bad I hope next season is better' but instead 'wow that was so boring and incohesive I have no more interest or emotional investment in this to continue'

#ofmd critical #were there good moments in s2? of course #was it on the whole kind of an overpacked incoherent nightmare? yes #was it a fitting continuation of the s1 story? absolutely fucking not #posting in this tag so that hopefully the toxic positivity crowd doesn't get offended lol

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justalittlesolarpunk · 5 months

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hi! i have been experiencing The Horrors lately (just general hopelessness about the state of the world and especially in regards to climate change) and i am just wondering - do you have any advice for incorporating climate action into one’s everyday life? i need to do something about this but the problem feels so big that i feel like i can’t, like i am drowning in it and i need to learn to swim

Hi my love, sorry it took me a while to respond, I’ve been quite tired!

So first off, the Horrors are reasonable, it’s a very sensible human response to the state of things around you and shows you have empathy and that you care. I say this because it’s all too easy to shame yourself for despair, but it’s natural that we fall into it sometimes.

In terms of doing climate action a little every day, there’s so much you can get your teeth into. For starters, there are personal choices, like giving up flying or meat and dairy if you can. Sure, these don’t add up to much, but they can really change how you feel and working with a smaller burden of guilt can be life-changing. Similarly making choices like switching your electricity and heating and getting an electric car (or even better, taking the train, bus, tram, your feet or a bus) can help you get into a more positive mindset as you feel like you are ‘doing your part’. Check if you have any savings or pensions invested in fossil fuels and switch them over. Even buying from zero waste shops can help shift your mood, even if it’s too small to shift the whole economy.

Once you’ve got all these little changes out of the way, it’s time to think systemic. Most places will have a local activist group you can join, which usually only involves a commitment to weekly meetings - can you attend XR, A22, Greenpeace or Friends of The Earth gatherings in your neighbourhood? These will usually allow you to start attending protests and keying into wider campaign networks.

Something else you can do is bring the subject up with people in your life, to contribute to a wider cultural shift where climate conversations are normalised, and you can agitate for changes at your job or university/school that will bring the institution’s emissions down.

Try to consume a more balanced media diet, seeking out what is going right in the world as well as what is going wrong. Sites like Positive News and the Good News Network are helpful for this. Supernova is a purely positive social media app if you’re looking for a more uplifting scrolling experience.

But much more important is to get outside and to make real-life community. If there’s a conservation or gardening volunteer group in your area I’d highly recommend getting involved with it - nothing has helped me as much as getting my hands in the dirt, doing meaningful work to grow food to feed my neighbours. A lot of our climate anxiety stems from fear that we won’t be able to feed ourselves or that natural beauty will vanish, so connecting with crops or landscapes is a great way to soothe some of that. Building relationships with neighbours or affinity groups (such as LGBT, POC or disabled organisations) can help you feel part of a more resilient network of people who can help each other out in a crisis. Plus if you get to plant trees regularly I guarantee that will help you feel like you’re contributing.

Solarpunk content is great for improving your outlook too - whether it’s optimistic sci-fi, utopian cityscapes or anarchist politics, it all uplifts you and reminds you of what’s possible. Check out people’s stories of what they’re doing to make the world a little better to remind yourself you’re not in it alone.

If you can afford to, a regular donation to groups working to reforest, re-wet peatland, re-seed mangroves or combat soil erosion is a pretty tangible way to fight the climate crisis. Be sure to do all the obvious stuff like voting and engaging with other political pathways too.

A fun weekend’s activity could be seedbombing with friends or building a bee house - there’s lots you can do that’s crafty or creative that also helps your local environment, even if it’s just growing food or pollinator friendly plants on your windowsill or letting your lawn rewild itself. Taking an attitude of grateful, affectionate kinship with all the plants and animals around you will aid in building a sense of connection with the ecosystem and reminding you that you’re part of a grand, resilient web of life.

Put together the emergency kit I detail in an earlier post, so you feel prepared for facing extreme weather and taking part in mutual aid. Teach yourself to forage or at the very least recognise the common plants in your area. This counteracts species blindness and makes you more considerate of the non-human.

You could even consider altering your career path, if you’re an adult, and re-training to work in the climate movement, though this will not be accessible for everyone. If you’re a younger person you could look into pursuing an educational path that will allow you to join the green sector.

If you can get some, therapy with an eco-informed professional can be hugely beneficial for channeling your very reasonable feelings of terror into meaningful action that benefits you and the planet, though admittedly there’s only so much individualised therapy can do for such a huge problem - perhaps there’s a support group you can go to?

And finally, make sure you take some time every day, preferably an hour if you can spare it, but certainly at least fifteen minutes, to do something you really love, that brings you genuine joy, and has nothing to do with the climate crisis. You can’t pour from an empty cup and you can’t put out fires if you’re burnt out. Rest, regeneration and self-care are prerequisites for sustainable movement building and you deserve to have moments of unalloyed happiness. You are categorically NOT in this alone, you are part of a huge, ever-growing moment full of people who are working towards the same goal even though most of you will never meet. And so while we need you now more than ever, there’s also enough of us that you can take a few minutes to feel better and it won’t cost us the fight. As an older activist said to me recently, even when we sleep our comrades across the world are waking up ready to face the day’s struggle.

Ultimately, a lot of these are just things that have worked for me, and they won’t all be accessible or appropriate to you. Some of them are more about changing your viewpoint than radically altering the status quo around the climate. But I know I fight better when I feel optimistic and well in myself, so these are my suggestions. I hope some of them help, and I want to commend your strength and bravery in reaching out for advice and connection, because that’s how we keep fighting, and that’s how we win.

The Horrors are real, but so are the Wonders. And one of those Wonders is you.

#solarpunk #hopepunk #environmentalism #social justice #cottagepunk #community #optimism #bright future #climate justice #positivity #looking forward #keeping on #activism #sustainability #the wonders

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matthewloverr · 2 months

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The Book

part one | part two

matt x maysen drew (femreader)

summary: when watching the people you love destroy themselves and choose money and fame over you, you found someone else to love.

warnings: swearing, smoking, angst, mention of substance abuse/ addiction!

a/n: before you guys read i just want to say thank you to these writers for inspiring me to post this !!

@strniohoeee @lovingmattysposts @flowerxbunnie @hysteria-things @luvangelbreak

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

masyn’s pov

i loved matt, in a friend way like i would do anything to protect him like any good friend would do and i know he would do the same.

but for some reason whenever we’re together i can’t shake the feeling that maybe there’s something there, something that i’m missing.

i cared deeply for him, and maybe sometimes i thought i liked him in not a friend way but i never payed attention to it.

i was never shown love growing up, i never felt it from anyone especially my parents. i was never enough for them, they were social butterflies, celebrated people, notorious and renowned. at least that’s how the public viewed them.

my parents have been celebrities for as-long as i can remember, they both have a dark history and maybe that’s why they act the way they act.

in 2010 my mom released a self help book about addiction, it went viral.

that same year my dad decided to get his shit together and started investing his money in something other than gambling at the casino and started buying property, eventually he owned half the south side and is being a real ”fixer upper”.

my childhood was very “colourful”, i never knew much about my parents until i got older and i could start noticing things. one thing i noticed is they thought having a kid meant more money.

at first i loved the paparazzi, the interviews, the red carpet events, i felt like a true princess, like i was finally getting the attention i had longed for.

but when i turned fifteen I realized it wasn’t what I wanted at all, i went to this fancy private school where i would get picked on because “the only reason i have money is because my parents were junkies”

I hated that place so much, i got myself expelled by throwing a textbook at a teachers head, my parents paid them to keep it private so it didn’t “ruin their reputation”.

when i started refusing to go to events with my parents they just gave up on me and left me alone. i. fucking. loved. it, it was so freeing to do whatever the fuck I wanted without a camera in my face.

of course I missed my parent’s attention when they would be proud of me for going to events but if i had to broadcast myself and go through hell in my day to day life, i was fine with it just being me.

around a year ago when i was 17 my parents went to some fancy influencer party and somehow convinced me to go, they put me in a long black strapless dress with a big slit on the leg, i kept my hair straight because i loved showing off my natural long red hair people always told me they would die for natural hair like it.

the party was so fucking boring, the only intresting thing was watching people get wasted and me getting wasted myself.

“aren’t you too young to be drinking?”

i turned around to see a tall boy that looked around my age, he was wearing a white button up with navy blue dress pants and a matching tie and his hair was all ruffled up.

“how else will i get through tonight” i scoffed turning back to facing straight

he leaned up against the counter next to me and just stared down at me, i could feel his bright blue eyes beaming down on me but I chose to ignore it.

“i take it you’re not a social person” he blurted out.

“nope” i replied not turning to look at him.

“good, neither am i”

I looked up at him with a confused look.

“is that why you’re talking to a girl you don’t know ?” i said with a sense of sarcasm.

he just rolled his eyes with a smile.

“soo what are you here for?” i said turning my whole body towards him leaning my side up against the counter.

“me and my two brothers were invited, they’re the social people” he said with a slight smirk.

“what about yourself?”

to be honest i didn’t know why i was here, my parents wanted nothing to do with me until they got fame. which it was all bullshit by the way my mother was dancing in the corner with a red solo cup telling everyone she was drinking water, that water was pure vodka and my father was coincidentally no where to be found.

i took a deep breath as i pointed with my hand that was holding my cup with some alcohol concoction i found at the bar, i pointed straight at my mother who was practically getting naked on the dance floor

“stasia drew” i said deadpanning to my mother.

i watched from the corner of my eye as he leaned up squinting his eyes trying to get a better look as to where i was pointing, that’s when he finally found her and a slight smirk appeared on his lips.

“what are you doing here with her? And what is she doing here she looks loaded” he said with that same smile.

“that would be my mother” i said still staring her down.

“oh i’m sorry- i didn’t mean-“

i chucked at his sudden nervousness “it’s okay, you ever hear of the book the urge”

“yeah, i heard it’s really dark though so i try to avoid it”

“my mother wrote that book, don’t read it ever it’s just a bunch of bullshit” i felt myself tense up trying to not get angry, i knew he noticed it but we just kind of sat there staring.

“wanna go outside for a smoke?” he jumped up

“yes please”

he reached his hand out and i grabbed it and we snaked through the huge crowed of sweaty old rich people until we finally reached a back door.

he grabbed the box of marlboros from his pocket and placed one between his lips as he lit it up using one hand to block the wind. he took a long drag as he took it out and passed it to me.

i grabbed it and took and slowly inhaled, i smoke weed every now and then with friends but never cigarettes I mean who the hell still smokes cigarettes.

“cigarettes huh? so old fashioned” i said holding the smoke in.

“i’ve been smoking since i was like 10, never got around to quitting. plus those fruity ass vapes are disgusting” he replied with a small chuckle

i just smiled taking another hit before passing it back to him.

“does the public know u smoke?” i said blowing the smoke towards the ground.

“nah, it’s just something i do for myself when i get too overwhelmed”

“you’re telling me you don’t like all this? all the attention from millions of people, the fame, the money anything??”

“i love it but there’s also sides to me i like to keep private, some people just don’t respect that. And I should be asking you the same thing, your mother wrote an amazing book that half the world is going crazy for”

I paused for a moment staring down at my feet, they were numb from these heels I had been wearing all night but it didn’t matter. why didn’t i like any of it? i had always wanted my parents attention and i could get it from millions but instead i choose to freeze up in front of people and hide away.

i turned my head up to face him and gave a small smile.

“i’d handle fame better if i was actually proud of the reason, whenever i do come to these parties which is very rare my parents get all this praise and I have to pretend like it’s not all a lie. that book saved peoples lives except the one person who should’ve been saved, my mother”

i stopped realizing i had been rambling on but no one ever asked me, no one actually listened all they did was say how “lucky” i am and talk about my mom or my dad. it was nice talking to someone and just being me not my parents daughter or that famous authors daughter.

that was the night i met matthew and after that night we were inseparable, like two peas in a pod.

eventually him and his brothers invited me onto their podcast one day and i did talk about the book, i didn’t reveal anything about how my mom was still a drunk and still uses any substance she can get her hands on or how my dad uses all the money to gamble but instead i just kind of talked about how i grew up in the public eye and how i cope with it and it was kind of nice.

he made me feel more comfortable being out there like that and even helped me grow closer with my mother when we turned 18.

my dad walked out on us and my mom didn’t handle it well, she drank a lot but i was glad he was gone.

me and matt spent a lot of time together and sometimes i would think he’s flirting, but i just convinced myself it was just how close we were, i didn’t want to ruin it.

matt ended up getting his license and drove me and his brothers everywhere, like my little chauffeur that didn’t expect anything back.

“Yo, do you wanna go for a drive and smoke?”

“Yeah sure just let me ask mom”

“😹😹 funny joke”

“lol see you in 10”

i always caught myself smiling whenever i saw his name on my phone, i just assumed it was pure joy because i had such a wonderful friend by my side.

he texted me that he was here and out i went.

a/n: my first story !! im so very nervy, im very open to suggestions and ideas so dont hold back🤍

#matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #matthew bernard sturniolo #matt x reader #matt smut #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #christopher owen sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #nicolas antonio sturniolo #chris x reader #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #matt fanfic

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j0hnj4ej3n · 1 year

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renjun: soulmates

Word count: 1.3k

Warnings: confusing emotions, y/n almost gets into a car accident, quite a bit of crying

Notes: this is Renjun's part of 'nct dream as love tropes', enjoy!

They say soulmates are highly connected on a spiritual level. You never understood what that meant entirely but you see a glimpse of it through your parents. They seem to understand each other without even having to tell each other anything. A simple glance, a smile, it’s like they really are the other half of each other. When your mum feels sad, you dad feels it before she says anything. Your dad told you when you were little, that soulmates can feel each other’s emotions. It keeps them in sync, connected. Some connections are stronger than others, it varies between every pair of soulmates. He says that’s why sometimes, you suddenly feel happy or sad even if you’re not currently feeling those exact emotions.

But not all soulmates end up having a romantic relationship, some soulmates remain best friends. Some never really get to have a relationship. Some soulmates never get to find each other at all. You’re in college now and you have yet to find your soulmate. Not that it matters to you, you weren’t too invested into this whole soulmate thing like some of your friends.

However, you quickly learned that your soulmate gets frustrated rather easily. You’d be fine, going about your day when you feel rage begin to bubble at the pit of your stomach. Sometimes, it gets so strong you want to scream at anyone who dares to get in your way. Then it fades away almost as quickly.

Renjun is rather annoyed with his soulmate (spoiler: that’s you). Because why is she always crying? This has happened ever since he was young. He was having lunch with his parents one day and he had the sudden urge to start bawling for no reason. But after a while, he stopped as if nothing even happened and continued eating. As he grew older, he got better at controlling your emotions. Whenever he feels that sinking feeling in his chest, he excuses himself to the bathroom to just let it out. But sometimes it catches him so off-guard and his friends were so amazed by it.

Him and his friends were out and having a good time over drinks and Renjun felt that same feeling where his heart sank and his eyes were immediately filled with tears. “Ah shit, she’s at it again,” he mutters as a single tear falls from his eyes. “Dude, are you alright?” “Yea, my soulmate’s just really upset over something again. It happens…” Renjun gives himself a moment for you to be done crying, holding a napkin to dry his tears as they continuously roll down his cheek. “She seems really upset…” “She’s been crying a lot lately, if I’m being honest.” “Why don’t you check up on her?” “Oh… I- uh… I haven’t met her yet.” “Oh, what? And you guys are already this connected? That’s crazy.” “It’s a little embarrassing… I just cry out of nowhere all the time.” But Renjun does worry about you a little. The last time he cried this much was when he was a lot younger, so he wonders if you’re holding up alright. Sometimes, he feels sorry that he can’t comfort you.

They say you’ll know your soulmate when you ever come into contact with them. Some of your friends said they knew at a single glance. Others said it was when they spoke to each other for the first time. The word ‘contact’ seems to come in many forms.

You’ve been really stressed lately because of finals. And also because your manager from your part-time job is a pain in the ass. She’s making you work over hours and not paying you for them. Moreover, you’re doing a lot more than what you initially applied for. You’re finally closing the cafe for the day and you’ve never been more relieved. It was one of the most tiring shifts of your life. You don’t know if it’s because it’s midweek, you had to serve so many grumpy customers today. Everyone was so impatient, some guy even shouted at you to hurry up when you were swarmed with drink orders during peak hour. Towards the end of the shift, you were careless while taking someone’s pie out of the over and burnt your hand.

The worse thing is, you can’t even sleep when you get home because you have a paper due in two days and you barely started it. Thinking about having to sit down to write an essay after one of the worst shifts of your life already has you close to tears. You’re so tired and the semester break still seems so far away.

Similar to you, Renjun is finally leaving the library after working on his essay all day. His eyes feel like they’re about to pop out and his head is pounding. Before heading home though, he decides to drop by the convenient store to grab a couple cans of energy drinks since he ran out. As he’s paying, Renjun feels a familiar ache in his chest and he reckon it’s caused by you again. Recently, chest pains are perfectly normal occurrence to him.

As he walks out of the convenient store, bidding the cashier goodbye, he slowly walks to the pedestrian crossing to begin walking home. The green man just turned red so he stops before the yellow line, waiting for it to turn green again. Renjun’s chest begins to hurt a little more and he can already feel tears starting to well up in his eyes. Just then, a young lady about his age walk past him and doesn’t stop walking.

You’re walking home from the cafe and all you can think about is the miserable day you had, how tired you are and how much more you had to do. You’re about to cross the road when a hand grabs onto your arm and pulls you back. All you hear was a loud, “Watch out!” and the loud honking from the car that zoomed past just a few feet away from you. “Shit, what are you doing? You could have died!” You’re too shocked from what happened when you finally realise what just happened.

You look to the boy beside who is still holding onto you tightly, he has tears rolling down his cheeks and you feel that boiling in your chest you know all too well. The two of you stare at each other and it clicks. Images of each other flashes in both your minds almost like you’ve known each other your whole life. He slowly lets go of your arm and the beeping from the traffic light alerts you two that the red man has turned green and it is safe to cross the road.

“So you’re the reason I’m always crying for no reason…” Renjun starts as he wipes his tears and you chuckle almost sadly, “I’m sorry…” He laughs too, this is a little awkward. No one really ever teaches you what to do when you first meet your soulmate. “A-are you okay though?” Renjun asks as he calms down, looking at you with concern in his eyes. “Not really but… I’ll survive.” You reply, giving him a liptight grin. “Why are you always so frustrated?” You ask and it’s his turn to feel a little embarrassed. “My bad, I’m not the best at staying calm…” It’s silent again when the two of you finally reach the other side of the road.

“I’m Renjun, by the way.” “I’m y/n.” “Please be careful when you’re crossing the road…” “Right, thank you for saving my life… drinks on me someday… I work at the cafe just down the street.” You tell him as you point towards the direction of the cafe. Renjun nods with the prettiest smile on his face and you already feel yourself blushing. “I’ll come by after my classes tomorrow, will you be there?” “Yea, I’ll be there.” With that you two part ways, you’ve never been more excited for work and Renjun has never been more thrilled to attend his classes. An unfamiliar feeling erupts in both your chests, it’s a warm, fluttering feeling. As you two walk home, you both can’t help the smile that finds it way to your faces.

#nct #nct dream #nct renjun #nct renjun fluff #nct renjun angst #j0hnj4ej3n

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bumblequinn · 8 months

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Hi! Medium time listener (I followed after slarpg altered my brain chemistry), first timer asker! What is your process when it comes to composing for games? Is it any different when the subject changes (personal, commission, etc)?

hehehe, well i hope that alteration was a positive one! 😋

so i think there's kind of two sides to this: there's the creative process, and the collaborative process.

The Creative Process

my creative process is actually pretty similar whether i'm working on contract or for personal enjoyment.

first, i consider:

the needs of the prompt in front of me (is it a save menu or a boss battle? is it a tense scene is or a tender one?)

how it should fit into the bigger picture of the whole project (mood/tone, genre, leitmotifs, instrumentation, production style, etc)

what tools i will need to use (subtractive synth or sampler or soundfont or live recording?)

then, i typically write what i call a "skeleton:" just the barest bones of a piece of music. i almost always do this on piano, dividing the bass, harmony, and melody into very distinct registers. i do it this way for several reasons learned the hard way:

first, by dividing parts into clearly delineated registers, i'm saving myself a whole lot of trouble down the line. i have long had a bad habit of over-crowded arrangements, which besides being weaker from a composition standpoint, are also notoriously difficult to mix. and mixing is already hard enough as it is! so writing a strong and well balanced composition from the outset is the best way to go.

second: when you jump into arranging or mixing before the whole piece is written, it's much easier to get stuck. where should i take this track next? i dunno, guess i'll fiddle with the mix. suddenly a week's gone by and i'm still working on a half-written track. if i require myself to write the whole piece out first, then this bottleneck is almost always eliminated.

sometimes you can get really excited about an idea, get carried away with arranging and producing a whole track, get to feeling really attached to it—only for your collaborator to say it's just not the right direction. by limiting myself to one instrument, i don't put in a disproportionate amount of work before confirming whether or not the piece is actually a good fit. and bonus, if it's not a good fit then i have a piece of music written that can serve another project later (or another part of the current project, if i'm lucky)!

of course, i'm not always perfect about this. even very recently, i got really stoked about a track i was cooking up for susan taxpayer and went BANANAS with it—only for punkitt to say she loved it but it wasn't at all the right vibe. a hard but necessary reminder of why i try not to get carried away prematurely!

(don't worry, the one i made to replace it fit like a glove, and the first attempt is gonna be used elsewhere. love wins 😌)

once i do have confirmation that i'm headed in the right direction with an idea though, that's where i really get into it with choosing instruments, designing synths, figuring out the production style, etc. and there's where the real back-and-forth with my collaborator begins, to make sure things are staying on track every step of the way. that leads us to:

The Collaborative Process

for starters, and probably most obviously, different people are different to work with. everyone has different strengths and challenges both creatively and interpersonally, so i try to meet my collaborator where they're at and tune in to their specific needs, vision, and communication style. within reason, i try not to look at these things as being "better" or "worse" with one person versus another, just different!

i think the biggest differences for me as far as how much time and energy i invest into a project are A) whether it's paid or pro bono, and B) my own level of personal excitement about the project.

if i'm doing something purely for fun, it's pretty exclusively because i'm really hyped about the project. because, well, it wouldn't be fun if i weren't, right? and in that situation, i enjoy giving it my all! susan taxpayer falls firmly into this category, and i'm having a blast with it.

SLARPG started out pretty similarly, but as the scope of the project grew, it evolved into more of a pro bono arrangement; bobby and i drafted up a contract and negotiated on how we would split earnings from the game once it released, and that's where i've gotten the vast majority of my income this year. it remained a passion project til the end, but i could not in good conscience put that much of my life into a project of that size unpaid, no matter how much i loved it! (maybe one day, if we collectively defeat capitalism and i no longer have to worry about such things... 🥲)

things get a bit different when you get into strictly contract work, though. when it's something i'm doing for a client who's paying from the start and it's not for my own enrichment, i have more hard and fast boundaries on how much of myself i put into the project. i have specific rates, and offer only so many free revisions before charging additional fees. sure, i can be horribly particular and will revise something a bazillion times to get it "just right" if i'm working on a passion project, but i'm not about to do that for like. a corporate commercial or whatever lol

whether it's for fun or all business, though, i always try to make something i'm proud of. because i want whomever i collaborate with to have something they're happy with in the end, of course! plus i'm kind of allergic to phoning it in, i'm too extra for that 😜

________________

i'm sure i could go on, but i think i'll leave it at that! pardon the slow response, it took me some time to formulate my thoughts for this one. thanks for the question, and take care ^^ 🎵

#asks #from #sourpatchsquids #feat #susan taxpayer #&#slarpg

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extraordinari1y-ordinary-writer · 3 months

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Okay, sorry for the wait...I really wanted part 2 thought out. Okay, so dark danny, started to hang out with the female reader. But dark danny realize like (damn this girl is my dream girl) and he really really likes her. So he finally got the courage to ask her out. (With the help of jazz, supportive sister ☺️) and it worked out, the reader says yes to the date. When dark danny was going to the date, he got stopped by danny and his friends. Needing help with fighting a ghost. Dark danny declines and explains he has a date, but danny convinced him it'll be quick. So they went to fight the ghost, but it was longer than they thought. Making dark danny miss the date, on girl that he REALLY likes and started to blame danny for it. It's been days and dark danny was still upset about the whole thing so he went out to cool down but he sees the reader sitting under a tree, dark danny hesitant but finally got the courage to talk to the reader. But it turns out the reader didn't go to the date either because the reader had to babysit as she got done getting ready to leave to the date. Dark danny sighed in relief and asked if they could try again by asking her if she wanted to grab lunch at nasty burger. The reader nodded and started to head that way. While giving one another their numbers just to avoid another mishap again

Pairing: Dark Danny x Fem!Reader

Summary: The build up to your date with Dan.

Content Warning: Miscommunication; ghost problems; whatever else I failed to mention

Word Count: 1,425

Note: Was this requested? Yes! I'd like to thank @wereallmadhere666 for the request. This also serves as a sequel story. I hope you like it! I'll come back here and there to make some edits where it's necessary. Any gifs or pictures I use are not mine.

Gentle reminder that I am always open for feedback! 💕

It has been a few weeks since you and Dan bumped into each other. Since then, grabbing a drink has become a welcomed weekly routine. You looked forward to those days, as did he. He rarely spoke of himself, instead finding interest in you. He liked hearing about your interests; he comforted you when you had a bad day. He even laughed at your stupid jokes. His reservations didn't mask how kind and generous he was. He made you feel warm, leaving you craving his presence.

Dan found himself insatiable. He needed to see you more than just once a week. He craved your voice, your laugh. He yearned for your touch, the way you left him breathless when you hugged him. Dan wanted to know everything about you. It didn't matter how menial it was; it was about you.

"You heading out again?" Danny's voice snapped the older ghost out of his thoughts. He hummed in response. "Are you gonna ask her out?" Danny questioned.

Dan sighed. "I will," he responded, "when it's the right time."

The young halfa arched a brow. "When will that be?"

"Why are you still so interested in this?" Dan threw a dry look his younger self's way. "I was able to find her," he continued, "so you have no reason to be so…invested."

"She makes you happy. You're less grumpy after seeing her, and I think you should make it official already."

Dan huffed in annoyance. "When I ask her out is none of your concern," he stated firmly. He put on his shoes and opened the front door.

"I'm just saying," Danny called, "you can't keep her waiting forever!"

. . .

Dan waited outside the café. He always tried to get there a little early; that way, he could greet you before heading in. The only problem was Danny. The teen's words echoed in the older ghost's head, making him anxious. Was he waiting too long to make his move? Were you even interested in him? You were always so happy to see him, but that didn't equate to attraction. Did it?

Dan chewed on the inside of his cheek. He was reading too much into it. Maybe he could try today, test the waters, and see your reaction. Hopefully, it didn't mess things up between the two of you.

"Dan!" The older ghost turned in the direction of your voice. You hurried across the street, a smile on your face. He smiled, melting into you as you embraced. "Sorry I'm late," you sighed, pulling back. "I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long."

Dan shook his head. "You're fine," he said. You beamed up at him.

"My roommate needed help cleaning our place," you started. Dan held the door open for you. You gave him a warm thank you in response. "Her parents are visiting, so—"

The conversation flowed freely after that. Well, Dan let you do most of the talking. He listened intently, occasionally sipping his coffee. He noted how, sometimes, you used your hands while talking—especially if you were feeling particularly animated. Your roommate's parents had you feeling a bit worked up. You'd met them once, you explained, and it had been a tense experience. So after that, you opted to keep your distance whenever they came to town. Dan nodded and gave input where it was needed.

"God, I'm sorry," you huffed. "I'm rattling off again, aren't I? How have you been?"

Dan gave a hint of a smile. "I've been well," he replied. "Not much has been happening."

You hummed happily and sipped your drink. "That's good," you said, a hint of a smile gracing your lips. A silence fell between the two of you. Dan studied you for a moment. He took in your gentle features and etched your voice into his memory. You meant so much to Dan. He could handle a lot. He'd been through a lot. If he were to ask you now, he could work through a rejection. But if you cut him off as a friend, he wasn't sure what he'd do.

"I was wondering," Dan started, his words slow and almost apprehensive. You looked at him curiously. "Would you be willing to have dinner?" he asked. "With me."

Your face flushed. "Like a date?"

Dan cleared his throat, avoiding your gaze. "If you're comfortable," he said. "If not, then—"

"I'd love to." The older ghost was surprise. You giggled. "How does Saturday feel?" you asked. "I know this nice restaurant on the other side of town."

Dan smiled. "That sounds perfect."

. . .

By the time Saturday rolled around, Dan was both anxious and excited. You were giving him a chance! By mid-afternoon, the older ghost decided to start getting ready.

Only to be interrupted by Danny and Jazz.

"I'm busy," Dan started, barely glancing the kids' way.

"Dan, I know you have your date today," Danny said quickly, "and I'm sorry to be asking this—"

"We need your help," Jazz interrupted. "There's this one ghost, and—"

Dan looked at them with an arched brow. "I'm sure you can handle one ghost tonight," he remarked.

"This is stronger than the other ones we've faced!" Danny looked at his older self pleadingly. "Please, Dan! You'll be back in time for your date."

With a heavy sigh, the teen's older self gave a resigned look to the kids in front of him. Dan had to keep reminding himself how inexperienced Danny was in ghost hunting. Dan had years of experience fighting ghosts, but that had been for other reasons.

"Where is it?"

. . .

Danny and Jazz were right. The ghost was strong, even by Dan's standards. Even worse, it took longer to take down. By the time the ghost had been sucked into the thermos, Dan realized he was far too late for his date. He tried flying to the restaurant. He went invisible and searched for you, but you weren't at any of the tables. When he managed to fly back to the Fenton home, it was beginning to dawn on him.

Dan felt his heart drop. Then anger bubbled in him. Anger was a familiar reaction for the older ghost. He'd spent so much time drowning in the emotion. And while he could blame Danny and his friends for making him miss his date, he wasn't. He was mad at himself. He could have called you and asked to reschedule. He could have done a million things differently. And he didn't.

Dan allowed himself to simmer in that anger until he couldn't take it anymore. After nearly a week, he went out for a walk. He hadn't heard from you since the failed date. Dan needed this moment to work through his emotions. Was it over between you and him? Did he need to move on? He could try calling you again, but what were the chances of you answering?

Sighing, Dan ran his hands over his face. He was conflicted.

"Dan?" The older ghost stopped. He swore he'd heard your voice; it had to be his mind playing tricks on him. "Dan, over here!"

Dropping his hands, Dan looked around before seeing you sitting under a tree. You were looking at him with a small smile, waving your arm to catch his attention. Dan hesitantly approached you. You stood to greet him.

"How've you been?" you asked softly. You didn't hug him. "Haven't really heard from you since…" You trailed off.

"I was contemplating calling you," Dan murmured, lowering his gaze. "I know I missed our date, and it has been bothering me—"

"You missed our date?" you interrupted. You looked surprised. Dan looked at you in confusion.

"Yes," he said slowly. "I had an emergency come up. By the time everything was…good, it was—" He shook his head. "I wasn't sure how to let you know," he added.

"I missed our date, too." You sounded embarrassed. Your cheeks flushed as you avoided Dan's shocked gaze.

"You did?"

You nodded. "My sister needed a babysitter," you said. "I was the only one available, I guess. I wanted to call you, but I don't have your number, so…"

The two of you stood there for a while, basking in the shared embarrassment. Dan felt relieved. He'd been so certain he messed it all up. He thought you'd hate him.

"Would you like to try again?" Dan asked. "Maybe with lunch."

"How does the Nasty Burger sound?" you asked, smiling. Dan nodded.

"That sounds great."

"And I'll give you my number," you added, "so something like this doesn't happen again."

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#dark danny x reader #danny phantom x reader #dark danny #danny fenton #danny phantom fanfiction #danny phantom #fanfiction #requested #request

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