#ace discourse mention

[sorcery-fight]

i distrust anyone who places hypersexuality as an opposite to asexuality. It shows you have no understanding of what those things are.

I cannot separate my asexuality from my hypersexuality. For me, they are intertwined in every way you could imagine. 

#idk just rambling but. #superbell logs #ace discourse mention #ok2rb #iguess. #hypersexuality #asexuality #hypersexual asexual #asexual #hypersexual

[ace-culture-is]

ace culture is mourning the level of awareness, understanding, and acceptance we could have gained in wider society in the past seven years if the ace discourse hadn’t come and torn our community apart and dissolved any outspoken support anybody else might have given us

#asexuality #asexual #ace culture #ace culture is #actually ace #anonymous #ace discourse mention

[knightoflove]

Just so u know if ace discourse comes back I just simply Won’t. I will do what I did the first time: gain a block list that takes at least a few minutes to scroll through with both fingers swiping.

I will simply Ignore people trying to start problems and I suggest everyone else do the same. It isn’t like the report button works on this website, so the best you can do is just let them yell at a brick wall.

#ace discourse mention #trist.txt #I spent too much time as a teen angsting over what those dumbasses said #I’m not gonna repeat that. y’all are silly. there are actual issues that we need to rally against #instead of arguing about imaginary ace people stealing imaginary resources

[hoarder-of-stories-27]

My demisexuality is one of the things that makes me queer. Being demisexual is a queer experience by itself for me and a lot of other people.

I say this as a bi trans person.

#aspec stuff #demisexuality #my posts #ace discourse mention #kind of #-responsible

[pplatonic]

I've been ID'ing as aroace for about three years now and already I can raddle off dozens of aphobic things people have told me directly or that I have seen elsewhere as soon as someone asks. I'm not old enough to have even experienced the Disk Horse yet I have enough examples of word-for-word quotes to fill a paragraph, and I could write five more on how society erases and discriminates against us. People say that we're not discriminated against, so we're not queer - but it's been so little time and I've already gone through enough shit to give them an essay. And people have been writing for years. They just won't listen.

#ace discourse mention #aphobia #it's infuriating #aroace #aro #ace #aspec #lgbtq+ #queer #i should tag this as every iteration of the acronym i know wouldn't that be funny #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbt+ #lgbtqia+ #lgbtq2s #*smashes my head into the wall* WE'RE QUEER #WE BELONG HERE #if you push us out i will OBLITERATE YOU with my anti aphobe lasers

[fandomlgbtqia]

If you use the mlm flag but not, at the very least, the sunset lesbian flag, you are a hypocrite. You're outwardly wlwphobic and it's extremely sad.

There is a such thing as not liking a specific flag. I do not want to associate my blog with the sunset lesbian flag specifically because, as I am an Ace person, many people who use the flag are Ace Exclusionists. It's not wlwphobic to not want to associate with a specific flag due to the many people who have become associated in my mind with it.

I shouldn't need to explain this to you, anon. But the sunset lesbian flag for me specifically due to my identity and the fact that so many who mocked it and belittled my experiences within that discourse used it has made it something that if I see it, I become extremely distressed as it reminds me of all of that discourse, including the rape apologia, harassment, and other awful, horrid things that were done during the course of that "discourse" which I couldn't get out of because it was about an inherent part of myself that I did not control and could not change.

This will be my only post about this. I want to keep this blog discourse free. You are free to dislike that I do not use the sunset lesbian flag, but it does not give you the right to accuse me of being wlwphobic because I won't use it and instead use a different lesbian flag that someone else made, that is not so strongly associated with exclusionists.

#not a flag #not an icon #anon asks #anon hate #anonymous #tw rape mention #discourse mention #ace discourse mention

[decolonize-the-left]

Ive seen an influx in posts asking the LGBT community to hold itself accountable for ace/aro bigotry and they're fucking right.

How are we supposed to hold homophobes and transphobes accountable and demand they do better when we won't even do that for each other?

We're a community right? A family who's supposed to look out for each other? What happened to everyone being valid? Is a sibling saying "you hurt me, please correct it somehow" not valid?

For my part I'll admit I was part of this.

I was on the side of the asexual exclus back in the late 00's/early 10's. I was deep in the belief that oppression had to be systematic in order to count and at the time I didn't see any systematic oppression faced by aces. I even identified as ace and I didn't consider myself oppressed for being asexual. I saw the hostility and vitriol directed at aces everyday...but I didn't see it as wrong. I didn't see it as bigotry. I saw it as righteous anger.

I know how awful things were because I was one of the people making them that way. There is Real trauma that was experienced. There's no fucking way that a normal person could be invalidated that much and take the vitriolic bigotry aces/aros did everyday and have it not leave a lasting impact.

I fucked up. That was wrong and awful of me and I'm genuinely so fucking sorry.

I see the broken trust and promises between us now in 2023 and I see how shattered the community is and it's partly my fault. That gap is there because of me and people like me.

We should have loved and supported and welcomed you. We should have saw the way you were being treated and said something. You deserved to be protected and loved and supported from people who treated you that way.

And you weren't. We didn't. And it was normalized.

We absolutely fucking failed you as a community and as human beings. I need to own that. And I need to be one of the first people to trying to repair that.

And I know an apology is barely even a first step and I know it's just a drop in a giant bucket but I am sorry. For everything it's worth to you, I'm sorry.

Because of me and people like me you experienced the kind of identity trauma that typically only homophobes are capable of. And you experienced it at the hands of the community that's supposed to be fighting specifically that sort of ignorance against a-typical sexualities.

We fucked up

And it'd just be hypocritical salt in the wound if 10+ years later we ignored your asks for accountability and didn't do anything about it when it's resurfacing.

So yeah.

I was a bigot. I hurt people. I hurt my own community. I thought I was right and I wasn't. I was wrong. And so is everyone who insists on continuing that today.

There is no excuse or justification for it. I thought there was too but I was wrong and I'm gonna spend the rest of my life making up for it.

Whatever justification you find for treating people with a-typical sexualities and genders is shit. It has no leg to stand on and it sure as hell isn't being done for the sake of the community.

The LGBT community was founded not by people with checklists on how to be a Good Gay or Acceptable trans woman but by people being treated like shit for who they were choosing to love or not love. It was founded by people who's gender didn't fit in cishet boxes. It was founded by people who just wanted to be free to exist as themselves.

You can't treat asexuals or aros or bisexuals or pansexuals like shit and say that it's in the name of the LGBT community.

It's not.

It spits in the face of everything our community is supposed to be and it's time someone besides aces and aros said it.

None of us should be okay with how they're treated and all of us should be part of stopping it

#aces #aros #asexuality #queer history #asexual history #i threw in the others because the bigotry for them back then overlapped a LOT #i didnt personally have a hand in anything against the other identities mentioned but itd be wrong not to include them i think #lgbt #queer #ace discourse #lesbian #gay #bisexual #transgender #asexual #aromantic #lgbt history #aphobe #aphobia #aphobic

[heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon]

... Yeah so, how can you tell when someone has never had any interest in having actually good sex in their life, let alone had anything anywhere near it?

They write a bad sex repulsed "rap anthem" for a fictional character wherein they compulsively need to name drop bad Twilight Fan-Fiction as if it didn't become the bane of every (Asexual) BDSM Educator's and kinky persons existence!

...Was that one other Alastor rap song where he told Angel to sit down before he made him bleed not enough?

I'm not even gonna address the first lines since this a rap song and if you... put that into a racial context .... Kinda cringe? More than it already is!

#Hazbin Hotel #hazbin hypocrital #Alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor hazbin #hazbin alastor #whorephobia mention #ace discourse #undescribed #Look I already blocked and I'm assuming that OP is an adult... At least they'd better be. #These lyrics are just laughably bad ...

[thedreadvampy]

that post I rbed about cultures is so full of white Americans in the notes going But How Culture If Bad which like

it's a really good example of a certain mindset in Tumblr Discourse which is like uhhhh

how to explain it

taking a very common and understandable yearning for clarity and stability and surety. and assuming that everybody ELSE has that and ONLY YOU don't.

like in this example. the mindset seems to be. "I don't have a culture which I find rich, rewarding and exciting. I find the cultures other people were raised in look rich, rewarding and exciting. Therefore Having A Culture means having an uncomplicated positive relationship to a culture that enriches and rewards you, therefore I Don't Have A Culture and it's Not Fair."

when in fact. nobody has an entirely uncomplicatedly positive relationship with their culture. most of us have blind spots about what our culture is and take it for granted. most of us are reacting against aspects of our culture and want them to change. most of us feel unmoored and uncertain.

anyway it reminds me of a thing that always bugs me in queer discourse where a lot of folks seem to be under the impression that they're Uniquely Conflicted About Their Identity. like eg how imo a lot of 2010s ace discourse boiled down to "as aspec people we are the Only People To Experience Complex Relationships To Sex" you know?

basically there seems to be this consistent idea that if you had the Thing, your life would be simple and understandable and uncomplicated. and since it isn't, you must be being uniquely deprived. and that's how this "Americans Have No Culture" shit is raging too me tbh.

#red said #this is poorly framed bc I'm v tired and overstimmed. AND i mentioned Ace Discourse. so i expect a shitshow tbh.

[leonsi]

every time i think about the aphobia and blatant erasure of aspec culture that’s been so rampant in online spaces i get SO sad. now aspec people don’t even know their own history!! aspec people are calling queerplatonic relationships “just friends”!! people are confusing asexuality with celibacy and aromanticism with asexuality!! aspec people think aspec identities are a 2000s fad!! this is so sad!!!!!

#not to mention smaller bits of culture like suits of aspecs and asexual/aromantic rings and even silly things like the cake jokes #there is so much fucking aphobia STILL and as an aroace person it makes me upset and scared and angry !! #aspec culture is getting kicked to the curb just like the rest of queer history but it seems like no one is around to even remember!! #and like. even stepping outside of protecting aspec people. aspec words to describe attraction and relationships are helpful to EVERYONE and #would benefit EVERYONE! #its just. really upsetting. seeing all of this get forgotten first-hand. idk #ace discourse #aspec discourse #aro discourse #its not really discourse but. better safe than sorry?

[unrestrainedbalderdash]

Stop blaming sex negativity on sex-repulsed aces challenge [impossible]

#just saw a post from a fellow ace complaining about sex negativity and throwing us under the bus. i'm so tired. #they said that not liking sex isn't because we're ace it's because we don't like sex #like the rest of the post? kind of iffy but plausible. but that sentence really ticking me off tbh #like imagine saying that if a trans person has dysphoria it can't be because they're trans and it has to just be body issues or summat? #let us be ace in our own way #why does our own community have so much infighting. why can't we all just respect each other #vent #discourse mention #asexual

[stag-bi]

what a whiplash going to see my 2016 tumblr dash (as linked in that last post) and getting slapped in the face w full blown ace discourse 😭😭😭

#i was an exclusionist too lmao i was so pissed as if hordes of cishet aces were coming to Invade Our Spaces?????? CRINGE #i still have beef w the split attraction model when non-aspec ppl use it ON BI SUBREDDITS CONSTANTLY TO DISCOURAGE ANY SELF-REFLECTION #like telling newly out bi's their internalized homo/biphobia is just an inborn trait that cant be helped so dont bother looking into it :) #thats more of a personal pet peeve than anything though #honestly the whole discourse was so stupid and the fake stories and moral panic coming from it was ridiculous #u kno whats real and can be trusted? peoples own experiences and interpretations of themselves. and that needs to be respected and accepted #i got so fed up w the dehumanizing and circlejerky nature of the exclusionist side. not to mention the victimhood complexes and the #black and white thinking that were being normalized by the entire discourse. and the essentialist thinking and public shaming #identities are not inherently above examination and there needs to be a balance between inclusion and exclusion in any context #bc both have negative and positive sides when applied to any group or identity. it should be approached w common sense #i wanna veer away from any generalizations and approach things on a case by case basis #but when it comes to someones personal identity and their lived experience. thats none of my business whatsoever #no matter what. basic respect is believing ppl when they say who they are. thats the bare minimum of interpersonal acceptance #fighting against that in order to uphold some us vs them dynamic is straight up awful #if you cant respect someone bc you cant personally understand their experience youre stuck on the wrong thing #you shouldnt need to relate to someone in order to treat them w kindness and empathy #if you need to find someone relatable to accept their validity then youre not genuinely someone accepting of differences

[fandomlgbtqia]

“i’m a lesbophobe to defend cishet aces” isnt the take you think it is

And you’re an exclusionist! Get off my blog. It’s not lesbophobic or being a lesbophobe to be uncomfortable with a specific flag. I’m still using a lesbian flag, it’s just not going to be the all pink one or sunset one. That’s my choice, not yours, and no amount of calling me lesbophobic, wlwphobic, or otherwise is going to make me force myself to use it despite the discomfort and stress those flags cause.

I was being nice with the last anon. This time not so much. There are plenty of other blogs who do this fucking stuff for you to go to that use it, I’m allowed to set my own god damn boundaries and use a different lesbian flag. Don’t like it? Guess what you don’t have to send requests in to this fucking blog.

And for the last time to everyone reading this, get the fuck off my page if you’re an exclusionist. I’m radically inclusive. I’m ace inclusionist, I’m not a transmed, I’m not any flavor of lgbt+ exclusionist. So get the fuck off of here because I know all you fuckers are going to want now with this statement is to send hate messages.

I’m turning anon off after this, you shits wanna call me stuff? You’re gonna have to put your blog name down on it rather than hide behind anonymous like a bunch of cowards.

#ace discourse mention #trans discourse mention #discourse mention #not a flag #not an icon #anonymous #anon asks #anon #anon hate #put your name to your bullshit #I can bet you fucking won't

[powerfulkicks]

genuinely upset that people can make asexuals into a joke for years and mock asexuals for no reason and still be like haha funny tumblr guys as if they didn’t just make fun of someone for their sexual orientation LOL

And have the nerve to be annoyed about it now that they’re bored of it.

This includes people who reblogged those posts btw. You should apologize. You were being a cruel and mean person.

#but you know it was on of the most horrible times in my life I was going through things in real life and to like be mocked #for something I had no control over #so much so I went back into the closet and still to this day barely mention my sexuality bc I’m scared to be made fun of #like. there should be consequences. #you can’t just pretend it didn’t happen. #ace discourse

[saltpepperbeard]

(different anon!) oh my gosh i'm so sorry people are already discoursing about the panel and fandom's response...personally i think in a world where fictional queer sexuality is so often the source of shame and a thing to hide, it'd be monumental for stede's perception of himself changing ("becoming a man") because he accepts himself and is proud of queer sex and sexuality. it's so shallow to assume that in this Very Specific Context saying stede having sex will make him a man must mean we all also think that applies to literally every single other context...ESPECIALLY because one of the most prevalent themes in OFMD is the notion that everyone's own idea of becoming a man or what makes them a man is going to be different. so terribly sorry for rambling in your inbox it just infuriates me to see people being deliberately obtuse in order to find something to be upset about. also i'm ace if that changes the perception of what i'm saying here

No no please, don't apologize at all! You articulated and encapsulated exactly what I was trying to say. So like-

#Answered #Anons #OFMD #Also #Funnily enough I am demi PFFF #I am ALSO ace #And yes I'm very excited over the potential for exactly the reason you stated #So often it's made to be something shameful #So I'm truly excited for the possibility of it being celebrated and shown to be something beautiful #Not to mention also that like #An intimate scene between two middle aged individuals would be so incredible too #Because I feel like society places such a huge focus on younger individuals #So getting to see that amount of love and passion between middle aged men would be SO amazing #ALSO sorry besties I know ~*~discourse~*~ normally isn't my thing #And I normally don't intend to provoke or upset or anything of the sort #I just thought it would turn into a discussion or be a one time thing and it was NOT SHDKJS #but you feel me anon you feel me

[heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon]

I wasn't about to say anything to this annoying little bitch because they're 18 but when I tell you that aro/aces in this fandom are literally trying to police people for merely being attracted to Alastor now like??? This is why I'll keep on saying that some of you (aro/aces) are insufferable as shit and need to shut the fuck up?

Or how 'bout

Or how 'bout if Alastor respected Vaggie and hadn't sexually harassed her by way of chin tickling and arse slapping, I wouldn't in turn look at him disrespectfully and want to give him a taste of his own touchy feely medicine?

How 'bout fans can do and feel whatever they want about Alastor cause he's not real and how 'bout everyone should stop treating fictional characters like they're real when they're not real? Including goddamn fucking Valentino...

How 'bout another reminder to stop clogging the actual queer and ace tags on tumblr that real ace people might be using to find real community and resources, with posts about a goddamn fucking ~"tumblr sexy man"~ fictional serial killer cannibal because I'm sure that real aspec people trying to look for real resources in real life are sick of all the goddamn fucking fiction by now???

How 'bout "You can write about a characters sexuality/fucking/getting fucked, but you're not allowed to explore or acknowledge any sexual attraction to them while you're writing about them being sexual and having sex, which would inherently require taking sexual attraction into consideration in order to even do that, but you're not allowed to, because that's disrespectful!" is officially the most bullshit moronic take I've ever heard...

#Hazbin Hotel #hazbin hypocritical #Alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #the radio demon #ace discourse #This fandom .... is... officially forever changing the way I'll look at and interact with asexual people I think for rest of my life and #I'm not even sorry about it because y'all brought it on yourselves by being this obnoxious... #Like y'all are literally such squares and you probably *do* look up to Patrick Bateman or something and that just scares me ... . #It started with the whole 'calling people Honey and virgin shaming makes you aphobic!' nonsense with #ornithia #and #petitprincess1 #(mentioned) #Like... you don't wanna be called petnames or be touched and then use outdated gifs from a blatantly transphobic Jim Carrey movie to expres #that to me and then go on to harass two trans men and try to disprove their racial backgrounds you can do that! #But yes I am going to block you and still vague about it years later when you shouldn't care to see it anymore and you shouldn't try #to block evade me but you did anyway because you're annoying and uncool! #Ace ppl/ppl who complain abt being blocked/called 'honey' an' call you 'mentally disabled' and try to parentalize you and call you 'aphobic #when you try and tell them to fuck off and stop doing that and delete your friends stolen photos from their shitty blog and go out and get #laid aren't cool! L O L !!! #undescribed