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girlbossblackbeard · 8 months

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brain thoughts whilst watching s2 ep1

if u saw me post some of these as their own posts no u didnt

-y'all are so smart for predicting that the steard HAD to be a fantasy/dream sequence

-"I never made you leave him. You did that yourself" *stede kills him* hmmmmmm definitely not a metaphor for stede trying to kill/silence the part(s) of himself and his actions that he hates and is ashamed of and that story arc DEFINITELY isn't a parallel to Ed's comatose dream journey we see later in ep 3 when he confronts Hornigold's ghost only to realize that it's actually a manifestation of Ed's self-hatred. this is just a silly little pirate show with silly little fake sword battles that's all :)

-Okay. We know this is a fantasy. We know this is a silly little pirate show. We know it's a haha funny comedy with two of the best comedic actors the world has ever seen in the starring roles. And Yet. The ungodly heartbreaking "Ed" that Stede yells the second time just before running to him is so gut-wrenching, so full of desperation, so overwhelmingly breathtaking in the undeniable agony laced throughout that one syllable, I wish god had put me in Izzy's place instead bc it would've been a thousand times less painful to literally be stabbed directly through my abdomen than to hear Stede say Ed's name like that while tears well up in his eyes

-watching stede and ed run like that gave me the ick im so sorry yall i wanted to be brave about it but i just cant be

-okay but WHY am i blushing when Ed looks directly into the camera for his lines in the fantasy sequence.........how in the hell did stede not spontaneously combust the second those stupidly big brown beautiful doe eyes made eye contact with him

-EVERYONE SHUT UP STEDE'S FACE AFTER HE AND ED COLLIDE AND ARE ROLLING AROUND IN THE SAND IS A LOOK OF ABJECT DESPERATION AND AGONY WHAT THE FUCK HE MISSES HIM SO MUCH AND FEELS SO GUILTY HE CAN'T EVEN BE TRULY HAPPY IN HIS OWN DREAMS

-"I knew you'd find me, babe" "You're not mad?" "I knew you'd find me, love" "So, we're good? About everything?" "Fuckin' love the beard, mate" Even in Stede's dreams Ed does not confirm that everything is alright between them. I'm starting to think this dream sequence is actually a nightmare sequence because he gets confronted by his fears by not only Izzy throwing it in his face that Stede left Ed of his own volition but Ed steadfastly refusing to answer Stede's questions about their relationship being okay

-in stede's dream ed has his full beard because that's a marker of the last time/era stede remembers being truly happy with ed before he ruined everything at the naval academy and broke ed's heart so severely it turned him into the very monster the rest of the world always wrongly made him out to be

-"can't be worse than you moaning 'ed, oh ed' all night long" black pete my beloved

-GOD stede's hair and scruff look so GOOD on him what the HELL

-WEE JOHN'S HAIR AND EYELINER AND PIERCINGS AND EVERYTHING LOOK SO GOD DAMN GOOD HE LOOKS SO GOD DAMN GOOD

-stede's silly little thumbs up to the swede as jackie makes him throw that ass in a circle reblog if u agree

-stede talking to the patrons at spanish jackie's is just a typical customer interaction working in the service industry

-ayo i think spanish jackie's is serving food now?? guess that overhead issue she mentioned to geraldo in s1 is no longer an issue bc that place is popping

-if ricky was able to clock stede immediately and doesn't think he's dead even after his very public and very loony-tunes-esque death then how many people in barbados actually believe he's dead??? does the whole town just kinda know he faked it and have accepted that he abandoned his family, became a pirate, came back home, drunkenly bisexualized his ex(??) wife's new boo thang, then faked his death so he could abandon his family again???

-"Demon? I'm the fuckin' Devil" I can't accurately put into words how hearing this line so softly spoken paired with seeing Ed's beautiful kohl-covered eyes as the guitar and xylophone from the song kicks in has affected me but I can say with 100% certainty it is the root cause of my new mental illness, whatever that may be

-fuck OFFFFFFFFFFFF EVERYONE LOOKS SO FUCKING GOOD ON THE KRAKEN CREW IT'S ACTUALLY INSANE

-LOVE LOVE LOVE the freeze frame with the day of the week overlay it is SUCH a visually excellent component of those scenes

-i know we're all supposed to be very sad and upset at ed shooting a guy (that was BASICALLY ALREADY DEAD) but for the love of GOD that man has never served so much princess babygirl gender in one cocking and shooting of a gun as he did in that scene

-JUST REALIZED ED IS WEARING A LONG TRENCH COAT JACKET THING IN THE SHOOTING SCENE AND THAT'S WHY THAT SHOT IS AFFECTING ME SO MUCH IT LOOKS LIKE A DRESS

-the immediate stoppage of the music with the smash cut to the crew trying to process the trauma that they've been through is so fucking funny, the editors have absolutely mastered the science of comedic timing

-"i dunno, i've never really been to a wedding before so i've got nothing to compare it to really" archie my beloved

-"i've never seen blackbeard like this. he didn't even bat an eye when ivan got killed" i don't have the energy to really put all my thoughts about this into coherent sentences, so all i'll say is that i'm really disappointed this is how they chose to deal with ivan not being in the show anymore. idk what went down with guz khan and whomever made the decision not to invite him back for s2, but at the very least i feel like they could've either written him off in some other way or simply not mentioned him at all. killing him off in one sentence that gets immediately interrupted with a comedic line just doesn't sit right with me

-"i lock the box and then i don't open it again" frenchie just like me fr

-i know stede did NOT just say "he's just blowing off some steam" in response to olu pointing out that ed has been committing so many crimes they literally had to start listing them on the back of the wanted posters. it's giving "girlfriend whose boyfriend acts like a massive asshole to her in front of her friends but she tells them he's actually soooo sweet when it's just the two of them together"

-"well, we can't turn up with any old ship. we need to look good" stede you literally haven't touched clean water in who knows how long, i think pulling up to the revenge in a dope af whip might need to be a little lower on your priority list babe

-the way ed gently strokes that cake topper before stuffing it in his jacket right above his heart like he used to do with the red silk bc stede's entire being eclipsed the silk when he became ed's whole heart. cinema

-i said it before and i'll say it again: izzy looks like a sad clown with his rudy giulliani lookin ass hair dye dripping down his face and the black panda rings around his eyes as a sad excuse for war paint

-when watching the first ep for the first time, i found myself becoming extremely uncomfortable and even anxious at times watching ed doing drugs and having a very public spiral that he takes out on the crew. massive props to taika and the writers for being able to make me genuinely a little terrified of Blackbeard in those scenes

-conathan o'neill. words cannot describe how enrapturing every single second of screentime you get is. every pixel of your performance is pure perfection. every tear that glimmers in your eye but refuses to fall is gloriously gut-wrenching. every laugh out of izzy's mouth is uniquely, ineffably uncomfortable in ways that should be futilely studied by science. also u look really hot when you're leaning on the rigging in the storm

-the swede shaking his head "no" at stede trying to warn him not to talk back to jackie when she steals their savings. he was trying to help his friends :(

-"i know that guy, we had breakfast together :D" "you'll be having a lot of breakfasts together" "oh okay :))" the swede my beloved

-buttons opening his mouth when it starts raining. buttons my beloved

-"im afraid your...your life is better without me" is SUCH an amazing line read from rhys, the way stede's voice hitches and you can hear the tears in his throat as he tries to voice his deepest fears is so incredibly moving which is why i got both the ick and medically diagnosed whiplash when he busts out that extraordinarily cringe ed voice to RESPOND TO HIMSELF. idk what's wrong with that man but it's not in ye olde DSM-5

-the fact that, once again, in stede's own imagination ed is not refuting stede's fears but is rather confirming them in the case of him talking to ed's wanted poster about how he's worried ed's life is better without stede in it and stede responding "could be...could be mate" in "ed's" voice is actually really desperately tragic and heartbreaking when you think about it ! :)

-"i know everything about you" i truly hate to say it but SOME of us, and im not saying who (me), are unfortunately extremely ricky-coded. it's giving "hi kevin" in spongebob

-"i, too, am a child of wealth" STOOOOPPPPPPPP I WAS ABSOLUTELY HOWLING AT THIS LINE IDK WHAT THE WRITERS ARE GETTING PAID BUT IT NEEDS TO BE ON PAR WITH WHATEVER RICHES RICKY WAS CLEARLY STRUGGLING WITH AS A CHILD VICTIM OF TOO MUCH MONEY

-someone smarter than me should do an analysis on how quickly stede's attitude towards ricky flipped once ricky told stede he was his hero and the gentleman pirate saved his life and how stede maybe saw a lot of his past self in ricky and is intimately aware of how the mundanity of living a life that's been prescribed to you from birth with expectations you could never live up to can drive you to the edge unless you choose to do something drastic to change your situation and how stede already feels like such a failure because of both the situation with his family/old life AND with ed/his new life that he took the opportunity to be the kind of gentle guide he could've used when he was starting out in the same situation ricky is before stede met ed and started to learn the ropes more. so if ur reading this please get on that thx <3

"my time with jackie has been the happiest of my life. her love has helped me locate parts of myself i didn't even know existed" (his prostate) "and reclaim others that i had long missed" (his teeth and nails)

-"but...i owe you a life debt and i am bound to honor it" something something mary telling stede "we made a contract in front of god and i am bound to honor that" something something stede being told by multiple people he cares about that the only reason they're dealing with him is because of societal convention

-i was gonna start this post off with "sorry" but i actually will not be apologizing for the unabated foaming-at-the-mouth level of hedonistic intoxication i experience every time i look at ed in his warpaint. if you have any issues with this that's between u and god buddy

-"i have...love for you, edward" actually made me gasp so hard i choked

-"i heard that you think the vibe here on the ship is poisonous" ed said VIBE CHECK and then took izzy's leg

-fang whimpering is actually illegal

-ed asking blackbeard about the vibes on the ship was such an incredibly well done performance from taika because i was genuinely so uncomfortable watching that go down i almost had to look away

-frenchie shaking his head "no" at izzy after izzy yells at ed to stop with his insane blackbeard monologue about the vibes on the ship is such a tiny moment but speaks VOLUMES about how trauma-bonded that crew has become under the kraken's rule. frenchie doesn't want to see izzy get even more hurt than he already does on a daily basis but i think he also knows it's already too late

-god the way ed just casually turns away and shoots izzy the second he hears the first "st" syllable of stede's name is so chilling

>>>side note: does ed look away because he can't watch himself actually hurt izzy THAT badly? he later turns his back to izzy in the hopes izzy will shoot him and when he doesn't, ed leaves before izzy shoots himself

-izzy's resigned inhale and small smile before starting to say "your feelings for stede bonnet" is so unbelievably heartbreaking because he knows. he knows he's about to get majorly fucked up for what he's about to say but he's tired of everyone walking on delicate shards of glass around ed

-the fucking joke of "how are you so good at this" because he's literally doing the swedish massage. credit goes to my friend shane for realizing this right away when it would've taken me 20 rewatches to come close to getting it

-"I can't believe how well this is going" black pete my beloved

-"this is where you went wrong with the whole gentleman pirate thing. details like this are important to build a brand" she's an influencer

-"i cant believe you guys robbed jackie. wow. so bad" the swede my beloved

-wee john covering his nose as jackie says she's about to get more noses for her nose jar

-"aint you that soup bitch" "im the money bitch" well im gay and i want them both to step on me

-"it's okay sexy dutchman"

-ed crying on the bow of the ship is sooooooooooo insane to me like i keep getting reminded of the fact that he's literally been crying every single night for MONTHS over stede

-"never going back to land. we're gonna sail, rob, and raise hell forever and ever without end" "sounds like a plan" frenchie's face as he realizes he's probably gonna spend the rest of his life on that ship may have actually caused heart damage

-HI THE TRANSITION FROM ED SAYING "FUCK YOU STEDE BONNET" AND LOOKING AT THE MOON TO STEDE LOOKING AT THE SAME MOON AND SAYING "GOODNIGHT ED TEACH" SHOULD EITHER BE GIVEN AN OSCAR OR CODIFIED AS A VIOLATION OF THE GENEVA CONVENTION I JUST DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE YET

#ofmd #our flag means death #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #edward teach #stede bonnet

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shesbackagain · 10 days

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Hi!! Omg hi!💖 It’s me! You answered a few of my asks like weeks ago! I sent two about what you do to get ones peach to look like yours and also about your protein intake 😄😄.

I wanted to message you sooner! But congratulations on using the smith machine!💖 I remember you mentioned you wanted to try it out for a while now!! Congratulations you did it!!😄🫶🏾. Definitely a goal achieved! Now you’ll be able to use the smith machine with more confidence and ease! I’m literally so happy for you!!

The day after the last message you answered, I went to the gym the next day (gym was empty, thank god😫) and I got the courage to use the hyper extension machine! 🤭! Girl when I tell you i probably looked like a clown 💖😌🤡. But hey that’s alright because I’ve gotten so comfortable using it now! And I’ll be able to do them from now onward! And oh my goodness was my 🍑 sore all the way to my hamstrings! 😮‍💨

And I really want to thank you so much for your encouraging words! They were very motivating and you are absolutely the sweetest🫶🏾💖😊. I honestly wouldn’t have given it a try if it wasn’t for you 🥹. You even make me even want to posts pictures of my 🍑 too🤭🫣!! I also got to order my whey protein too!!😃

I followed you too! Like perhaps more than a week ago 😊. I’m a bit shy going off anon🥹 Hopefully that will change! 💖😊 I’ve reblogged some of your posts too😊🫶🏾! You are so so pretty and your tummy is the cutest too💖! But im super excited for you and your gym progress!( also wasn’t aware you probably took a break from the gym?😯, but I’m glad to hear you returned. Please take it easy and take care🫶🏾) I hope you were able to get a good workout on the smith machine! Once again thank you for being so kind and taking time to answer my long messages 🥹💖✨. I would have loved to be your gym partner 💪🏽! And please, I would definitely love to hear more of your gym progress! 😄

Hi 🤗 I hoped you would reach out again!

Thank you! Yes, I finally did it and I felt super empowered 🏋️ it took me a while but like you said goal achieved!!! I'll be using it from now on to do squats instead of using dumbbells 💪

Oh I'm so proud of you for being brave enough to start doing hypertensions 👏🎉 I know the position makes you feel a little exposed but it's worth it 🍑

You don't have to thank me at all, I'm glad you sent me that first ask because now we're on the same journey and I love to be able to share it with you 🤗

Thank you, I'm feeling better and I've been able to train but anyways I'll see my physiotherapist next week so I can recover faster because now I don't like to miss any day off the gym haha I didn't think I would see that day come 😂

And if you feel confident to go off anon anytime just so you know you're so welcome to dm me

You have a friend and gym buddy here 😁💖

#sunny answers #gym progress #sorry i took so long to answer

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problematicfactive · 8 months

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god i’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with this shit. system discords are fuckin awful. you’re brave as hell and it sucks people can’t see that. i hope you’re doing alright now.

fucking hate when people say “get help” about sources. ok i go to therapy where my therapist reassures me i’m fine being a true crime factive.

"Get help" err... there's two of us already, a third might be a little much... but.. I mean... if you really want us to 🤷‍♂️

Yeah, system discord servers tend to.be absolutely horrible to you or just... okay. Like. Either your cussed out and banned for existing, you're cussed out and banned for having one similarity/interest to source, or you are constantly asked stupidly personal questions every time you front.

"Don't you kill people" WHAY

IM LIKE 17

Granted im 18 in source and I have the memories of 18

IM IN SCHOOL DAWG? WHAT DO I DO IN SOURCE? I GO TO SCHOOL- THATS PRETTY MUCH IT I DONT HAVE TIME TI KILL PEOPLE 🙄🙄🙄😭 /hj

I really like to be in discord servers, I love to talk to people. Online communication is the funnest thing ever to me, dm me and you will watch as I go from being somewhat composed to being LITERALLY THE MOST EXCITEDEST PUPPY DOG IN THE WORLD SO HAPPY TO HAVESOMEONE TO TALK TO!!!!!!!! So finding discord servers and tumblr blogs and stimbord makers and everything else I could think of that are accepting to this community is important to me. One of the most important things. Documenting unsafe spaces is also important to me. Part of the reason I posted what I did yesterday was because I wanted to warn people here that even that server claims it wants to be a safe space, they tell truama formed alters to kill themselves behind their backs and break their own rules on grounds of being "uncomfortable" so you guys wouldn't join and go through what I did.

I'm doing a lot better today, thank you!

#problematic factive #problematic source #problematic introject #kindness and positivity #factive #introject #plural community #plural #system #sysblr #introject safe space #system safe space #plural system #plurality #pluralgang

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meganwasbored · 2 years

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The Dragon Prince Thoughts Season 1 Episodes 1 and 2

I was gonna post the whole season at once but by episode 2 I realized that would be way too long

Episode 1

-I misunderstood the begining for a second and I thought the elves pushed the humans to the west to protect them from the magic but now I see that they’re enemies and that makes a lot more sense

-“Take that, marshmallow monster!” Oh I already love him

-“I wasn’t scared, Bait was scared” AWWW HES SO CUTE

-The jelly tart scene reminds of the little brothers from Brave

-It’s only the first episode and someone’s already gonna die this is wack

-THE WHOLE SWORD TRAINING SCENE AND SOREN LETTING CALLUM WIN TO IMPRESS CLAUDIA BIG BROTHER ENERGYYYY

-Harrow knows he’s probably gonna die but he still tries to keep the boys happy I love him

-“Everything’s going to be fine, alright? I’m sure of it.” The fact that he has to say that clearly means everything’s NOT going to be fine

-AWW HE WANTS TO HELP TO PROTECT HIS DAD EVEN THOUGH HES NOT REALLY HIS DAD IM CRYING

-“Life is precious. Life is valuable. We take it, but we do not take it lightly.” Dang.

-ok I like Soren so far but he’s kinda being a brat about the moth like read the room nobody has time for your complaining. No offense.

-“he looked up at me and I saw the fear in his eyes” + “He didn’t do anything to me! How could I take his life?”

*ahem*

ANYWAY

Episode 2

-“Yesterday I had two eggs for breakfast and I was starving. Today I had four eggs

and I’m stuffed. So, tomorrow…”

“Three eggs! I get it!”

“I was going to say two eggs and one sausage.”

I don’t know your name but I love you random guard

-I’ve known Callum for one episode and I will already die for him

-Callum’s entire conversation with the king I wanna cry

-“The great illusion of childhood is that adults have all the power and freedom but the truth is the opposite. A child is freer than a king.”

-“Take care of your brother” STOP ITTTT

-THE HUG

-I could write a whole essay just on that two minutes

-He tripped. He was running for his life and he freaking tripped.

-“Hey you swept the leg!” BRO WHAT ARE YOU DOING RUN

-THE LETTER ROLLED OUT OF THE BAG I REPEAT THE LETTER ROLLED OUT OF THE BAG

-“I am prince Ezran.” STOPPP ITTTTTTT

-“An assassin doesn’t decide right and wrong, only life and death.”

“That was really clever but come on, really?”

I love them already

-“It’s not a good time!”

“…you mean because you’re with a girl?” HAHAHAHAHA

-Help why is Ezran so chill about this

-DID HE PUT THE LETTER BACK IN THE BAG THATS ALL I CARE ABOUT RN

-“I would rather die a king than live as a coward.” Stop because I volunteer to die for

him

-Ok I get why he’s so against dark magic and he’s valid for that but also literally what else is his plan, like yeah he’s likely to die either way but like dude we can have this argument another time

-“stubborn and ungrateful” WOAH BACK UP THAT WAS TOO FAR

-WAIT SO YOU DESTROYED THE EGG WITHOUT THOUGHT OR PERMISSION??? AND NOW MY MANS GONNA DIE FOR IT??? OH HECK NO I DONT LIKE YOU ANYMORE

-YEAH WOULD YOU VIREN??? Yeah that’s what I thought get out of my face

-I don’t blame you anymore Soren I see where you learned the attitude

-“He’s a glow toad🙄”

-YEAH YEAH COOL EGG DID HE PICK UP THE LETTER THO

#ONWARD #after my phone charges #it died from all the emotions #the dragon prince #tdp #rayllum #the dragon prince thoughts #tdp thoughts #tdp thoughts season 1 #the dragon prince thoughts season 1 #tdp season 1 #the dragon prince season 1

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mistercakerz · 1 year

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Here are some of the sketches I could find, I won’t lie they are very much inspired by amity and luz from the owl house, with adira being this serious rich girl who becomes more open when she meets asha

Anyways the whole concept with them is that adira has a controlling mother who wants her to be perfect but with the help of asha she becomes herself, she also really loves music, mainly my rock and such, she only ever played classical music cause of her mother

Asha is a reckless girl who’s gonna get herself killed one of these days, she loves exploring, and fighting, but she also has a soft spot for wild life, she also likes cats, oh and she fought a god and won, I am not kidding, none of that is exaggerated

They are around 16-18

Asha carniva and adira Williams

Asha is honestyl based on me a lot, but if I wasn’t as anxious and was more brave

I’m actually redesigning them, I have given Asha a ponytail and now wonder why I never gave her one before

And here’s some of their designs in gacha club, I used it cause it’s a fun way to design ocs, it’s not perfect, but it’s still alright.

You can probaly tell which one is the more recent designs and which one is the older one

Oh yeah and I guess this is a reveal, since tumblr doesn’t allow anons to send photos I kinda had to not go on anon

Sorry for the long post, it would have been longer if I hadn’t held myself off from talking more about my ocs.

Oh fun fact, I’m wanting to make a game with these ocs, and the idea of the game came from a dream I had, which is honestly a stretch cause the dream was about this creature chasing me and I loved the creature concept so much, I just had to expand on it

I LOVE THEM SMMM THANK YOU FIR SHARING THEM YEEE I LOVE HOW CUTE THEY ARE IM JUST 🥺👏

Go make that game I know you can do it I believe in you and it makes me happy you shared them with me hehe!

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smoosnoom · 1 year

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hi moon!

hope u slept well <3 or at least… enough.

i got a notification right after i finished my final so it’s a little gift i guess? (i did great btw. probably bc it was english and i’ve been practicing when i was writing u this daily compliments).

“Mike Wheeler knows he’s a bad person.” he’s not. i know it’s a projection. that’s why im sure he’s not.

“He doesn’t regret it, though” as he should. i would probably do the same. but it would’ve ended even worse for me bc i cannot fight And my knuckles aren’t bony.

“Will doesn’t think too much about it” oooh, mike is so wrong.

““Stop smiling,” he chides, although that makes Mike’s mouth tilt up again, and Will is biting down a smile, too” they r so 🥺🥺🥺

“He wouldn’t be able to say anything about Mike punching anyone, with his own history of getting arrested” he would probably like mike a little more

““Alright, paladin,”” omg im DEAD bc mike is his defender, his savior, his knight in shining armor 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

“Still, he can’t hide his flinch” okay at least one of them can’t fully control his body. good.

“Mike isn’t brave” maybe he isn’t brave but he’s not coward (i know that im talking about). a bit impulsive. even hot-tempered. not a coward.

““You’re my best friend,”” i always eat it and leave no crumbs. i love when they say best friend thing before trying to do something Not platonic. u can write it every time and i’ll be kicking my feet every time.

“it hurts, sometimes, how bad he wants to be Will’s” my little queer disaster mike wheeler 🥺

““You think so?” Mike forgoes any ounce of dignity. “Please.”” i looove them. both so desperate and ready to love each other 🥺

“pressing a kiss on the corner of Mike’s lip, right where there is no wound.” smooch as a reward for protection and recklessness. here’s my smooch as a reward for productivity and talent 😚 but here’s also my frown as a punishment for self-deprecating thoughts 😠

““Later,” he says, concern still etched in his face when he looks at Mike’s cut, and the bruise he knows is slowly making its appearance on his nose. “I promise.”” u’ll get as many kisses as u want.

“before he turns into it and presses a kiss into his palm.” such a gentleman. first he saved his lover and now he’s kissing his hand.

even if everyone else in the world would hate u i would still love u. and it wouldn’t be fair. not even a little.

k love u, see u tomorrow 🤍

alya i will have u know i got around . three hours of sleep when u sent this . which is probably concerning but im Alive 🫡

YAYYYY I CHEERED 🥳🥳🥳 so happy u did well omg i knew u would !!!!!! the fic was posted Just for U now ive deemed it so . a gift just for u

KQHFOWJFLDJOF OK have we considered . ignoring the projection

u know if it helps me neither 😭 ive fought only one person and u know . it is not how they sell it to be

HELRNFPRK mike moving up on jonathan's list bc of this 😭 god

I AM SUCHHHH A SUCKER for will calling mike paladin and mike calling him cleric like . it Gets To Me .

SRORPPPP WHEN WILL U LET ME LIVE ok every time i write the word "shiver" i think of u now . this is a curse

maybe he is not a coward . Perhaps . ill listen to u

ALDNCK YAYAY its just bc . i think it's so nice to establish they are best friends before anything else like that is what makes them soo unique . they have that before any romantic relationship

NOOO im sorry i won't do it again (i lie, like a liar) but omg illtake the smooch 😚 feeling great !!!!

☹️ if no one got me i know alya got me My knight in shining armor 🫶 love u always !!!!!!! 🤍🤍

#sobbing crying #yes i reread over ur ask thrice ok i was EXCITED #/ask #daily alya #sosoooo . feeling melted

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sukirichi · 3 years

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dutifully yours. [01]

Attached to the could’ve been’s of a promised happily ever after with the Crown Prince disguised under a scheme for power and greed, you are torn between choosing your happiness — or abandoning it to fulfill your duty as the future Queen.

→ unedited bcos i’m brave lazy. implied patriarchy. angst in future chapters. pure romance and fluff for now. royalty au. eventual smut. prince naoya !! i love him sm i could cry. this fic will break me, okay. naoya is close to canon but with my twist if that makes sense. drama in future chapters. oh and listen to this while reading <3

→ massive shoutout to my besties for always hyping me and helping me uwu, i present this token of prince naoya being an ideal husband okay cry cry i love him sm im crying. anyways pls enjoy bcos i poured my heart out to this and bcos i want more people in the naoya fucker club :>

one | next (to be posted)

Ever since the day your mother taught you how to read, you’ve had your nose buried in a book. Losing yourself in different worlds, swooning over fictional princes, and fantasizing for a love story ripped out of fairytale itself with such burning, passionate romance – you’d been through it all, dreamt of it all. And yet, you struggled to stop yourself from tugging at your dress.

The tight corset hadn’t even been the main focus of your worries, and neither was the heavy rivière resting on your collarbones.

“Would you stop fidgeting?” Beside you, your mother pursed her lips, fingers decorated with jewels stopping in their movements of fanning herself. The temperature hadn’t been particularly high inside the limousine that evening. You supposed it was the mere sight of you tugging and gulping audibly every now and then, gloved hands running over the hems of your collar.

You ducked your head down. “Sorry, Mother. I can’t help it.”

“Dear, your anxiety is written all over your face,” she sighed, turning your face to her as she cupped your cheeks. Smiling tenderly like a mother always did, your heart felt soothed even by the slightest bit. You wished she could keep holding you like this – like you were a fragile flower she was afraid of breaking; a fragile flower that needed more care handled than most. Tonight, however, you felt a hundred years older. Like you’d accidentally clicked on fast forward and got launched to the future. A future that seemed so unclear yet so...perfect. So right.

“How would the Prince fancy you if you’re sweating bullets like that? It’s not a good look for a marquess’ daughter.”

At the mention of the Crown Prince, your heart sank again. “My apologies, Mother. I’m just rather nervous. It’s the Crown Prince we’re talking about here.”

“He is quite the looker, isn’t he?” she giggled behind her fan, “Strong and handsome, as well.”

“My ladies. You are not fantasizing over the Crown Prince in my presence, are you?”

Crossing her leg over the other, your mother leaned forwards, elbows on her knees as she winked at your father. The marquess had his torso half twisted from the passenger seat, glaring playfully at your mother’s unabashed features. “It is of no seriousness, My Lord. I’m simply easing your daughter’s nerves.”

Your father sighed in worry. “What’s got you so worked up, child? You are beautiful. The Prince would be blind to not notice you.”

Each fibre in your body screamed in desperation for your father to be right. Tonight was not just any other night – the entire Kingdom, including noblewomen, foreign royals, and unwed daughters from honourable families had been invited to the Zen’in Castle for one purpose only: to find his Crown Prince a suitable wife, one that would be fit to be the next Queen as well. As the daughter of the marquess, you’d naturally received the invitation. It felt just like yesterday when the mail arrived and you’d cheered so much in joy the chickens went flying out of their coops, your horses galloping and whinnying at surprise, and now you here – minutes away from the palace where you were soon to be deemed worthy or unworthy to be beside His Highness.

With a shaky smile, you dug your nails into your thighs. “Well, we’ve only met once, Father. I doubt the Prince would remember me.”

“Just smile, darling. You will do great.”

To no one’s surprise, the Zen’in Castle brimmed with people and esteemed guests. Men and women danced with one another as muted chatters and chuckles blended in with the grand royal orchestra, everyone dressed to the nines and making you feel completely out of place.

The moment you’d been welcomed by the knights and led to the palace doors, your dress began to feel tighter than usual, your ribs clenching uncomfortably from the pressure. Your hands had not stopped trembling either, not even when you hid it behind your back and nodded at the people passing by. There were governor-generals, dukes, earls, professors and royal advisors and even families of the royal family’s inner circle of knights. Everyone looked like they belonged here. Chatting amongst one another over the finest of wines or discussing conspiracies on where the Kingdom of Zen’in would be in the next sixty years of the future King’s reign, no one here seemed to be out of place.

Everyone except you.

A warm hand was suddenly placed on the small of your back, making you gasp. Your mother’s smile was nothing short of warm as she held you close to her one last time, leaving a kiss on your forehead. You didn’t even realize how much you shook until she clasped her hands with yours. “Calm down, dear,” she reminded, “You’ll be on your own now. This is where we leave you since we’re not supposed to mingle with potential princesses.”

“Mother!” Your eyes widened in embarrassment. Looking around frantically, you bit your lip in fear someone must’ve heard.

Of course, while it would be no surprise most guests – if not all – hoped that their daughter would be the Crown Prince’s chosen fiancée, it still felt wrong to boldly assume such when you could barely keep up with the events of tonight.

However, your mother merely laughed. “I am proud of you, dear. Never forget that. It doesn’t matter whether you are chosen or not. We’re only here for formality and respect to the King and Queen’s demands.”

“You say that as if the Crown Prince really would not bother with me.”

“We didn’t mean that,” your father cut in, a flute of champagne already nested between his calloused fingers. Ever since you arrived, he’d been snatched away by fellow earls and barons, disappearing into the crowd for a ‘hearty conversation over one’s lands.’ You knew better than that, though. That statement always translated to which leader got to have more chances to wine and dine with the King, to which your family was ridiculously reminded of that you’d been stationed to the most faraway land where even hearing news from the royal papers was but a privilege.

“Just be yourself, alright? And enjoy the party. It’s about time you met with girls your own age and made some friends.”

“I – Father, wait!”

A slender young woman slithered to your side out of nowhere, her golden brown eyes following the silhouettes of your parents. It wasn’t long before they completely disappeared. Left alone with the stunning woman that was – for some reason – dressed in a plain black curve hugging dress too modest for tonight’s appropriateness, you took three steps away in caution. “You must be from way up North,” she noted, her head to the tipped to the side. “I don’t think I’ve seen you here before.”

God, was she beautiful. Long, thick eyelashes and short hair chopped in messy yet elegant curves, you struggled to hold her gaze. “Oh, yes, I come from the Terratian Borders. My family is stationed there under His Majesty’s orders.”

She hummed to herself. “The Terratian Borders are mostly forests and fields, no? The last time my family and I visited there, I came across the loveliest dandelions I’ve ever laid eyes on. Shame they died on the way back,” offering her hand – again, bare and empty with decorations yet still littered with faint scars and cuts – she beamed at you. “I’m Mai, by the way. Mai Zen’in.”

Zen’in?

Hands cupping your mouth, you bowed deep until your back ached. “Lady Mai!” you shut your eyes closed, unable to live with the shame. Mai Zen’in; one of the iconic twin pair from the extended Zen’in royal family, both a fashion icon and a legend for being a rumoured female knight. To have her in your presence was an honour. “My apologies for not recognizing you any sooner, Lady Mai!”

“Stand up, I’m not a royal,” she sniggered, “We’re just relatives of the actual monarch, but don’t let the family name fool you. The Crown Prince barely even acknowledges us being of the same blood.”

Albeit hesitant, you followed her gestures of making you stand up. You straightened your back and cleared your throat, fighting the urge to go haywire the moment his name was brought into the conversation. Not only would you be seeing Prince Naoya again in real life for the first time in years, but you’d also made acquaintances with his distant niece. However, his name was spoken with malice.

Frowning, you faced Lady Mai in all seriousness. “Prince Naoya? Why so?” Lady Mai looked at you like you’d grown two heads.

“He’s an ass, that’s why.”

“I-I don’t think he is,” you defended, “The Prince has been nothing but kind to me.”

“I didn’t know he was capable of kindness,” she muttered more so under her breath, low enough you were unsure whether you were supposed to hear it in the first place. Lady Mai then shook her head to herself before stealing a flute from a waiter passing by. Chucking it your way, her face turned dark and grim. “Take it as free advice: stay as far away from his as possible. The Crown Prince is nothing but good news.”

“Is it because he has lots of lovers?” you inquired with a small voice, “Uhm – well – It was an assumption. With a title and handsomeness like that, it would make sense everyone would want to be the Crown Prince’s lover.”

Lady Mai’s lip curled upwards. “Prince Naoya won’t bother with lovers. He is too occupied for that.”

“So I’ve heard.”

“Heard from whom?”

“The Royal Declaration from His Majesty himself,” you said, “Was it not the purpose of this ball? To find worthy candidates to be the Crown Prince’s betrothed? His coronation is coming soon.”

“Right. I forgot today was technically a bridal market,” she scratched the edge of her brow, falling silent for a moment. Her eyes scanned the lively crowd for a brief moment – watching with you as everyone laughed and danced to their heart’s content – the grand final event of the routine personal dance with the Crown Prince himself slowly approaching to reality. “You are joining in the festivities, are you not? Later, when he arrives, he shall meet you.”

“I am obligated to as a noble bachelorette, though I doubt His Highness would even look my way. There are far richer noblewomen here and even daughters of duke that would be perfect as his wife. ”

“You may have a point for that,” she hummed to herself, unaware that her agreement to the Crown Prince not paying attention to you left a sting both in your ego and heart. Not that it lasted long, for Lady Mai was already tugged on the arm by another equally fiercely beautiful woman – her older twin, Maki Zen’in. Soon to be governon-general of the Kingdom.

Lady Mai smiled in apology. “I need to go now since I’m not a part of this event. But hey, if ever I come around to visit the Borders again, perhaps you could entertain me?”

“I would be honoured to, Lady Mai.”

“You are sweet and innocent,” it was her sister who spoke this time, glasses perched high on her nose that concealed the wariness of her gaze. “I hope the Crown Prince never gets to your routine.”

“I’m sorry?”

“It’s nothing; she was talking to herself. Maki does that a lot,” Lady Mai’s forced chuckles were barely heard from the music. “You enjoy the party now. Don’t drink too much lest you want to embarrass yourself in everyone’s eyes and be talk of the Kingdom. Prince Naoya would hate it if you took the attention away from him.”

“Oh, uhm...”

“It’s a joke, Lady Y/N. Relax.”

You bowed once more. “My apologies.”

“The dance is about to begin,” Maki tapped on your shoulder, making you look up right where her eyes zeroed in. And exactly in the middle of the grandiose hall, under the sparkling golden chandeliers where he made all the gold in the world look incomparable next to him, the Crown Prince stood in his fully glory. Blond hair with the ends stained of midnight gelled back to reveal his forehead, the Crown Prince’s beauty never failed to shine. Whether it be in the papers, in the tabloids, in the billboards that you passed on the way to the city, or from way back when you met him for the first time as a naive, innocent teen – Crown Prince Naoya came straight out of a magazine cover.

In the back of your head, you could hear either of the twins murmuring good luck. Maybe both of them had said it – you had no idea. All of your attention, all the sensibility and coherence of your state had been switched the next instant, as if your heart and soul was born for the sole purpose of being bewitched by your Crown Prince.

And as if feeling someone’s gaze on him, the Crown Prince’s eyes trailed over the crowd. Almost boredly, his sharp eyes bounced from one giggling woman to another, the ends of his lips smirking upwards for just the tiniest bit. It must’ve stroked his ego. Until his eyes connected with yours. The Crown Prince’s eyebrows knitted together. You had no idea how you looked in that moment, and quite frankly, you didn’t care. Because the Crown Prince was looking at you, and you were looking at him with hearts in your eyes along with your heart pulsing at the tip of your tongue.

“Let us begin,” his lips moved from the distance, “Play the music. I shall dance with my bride.”

The air shifted in a split second. Murmurs were thrown over the room, women and men alike turning pale. Even the orchestra was stunned from the Crown Prince’s entrance – and it hadn’t even been dramatic to his standards – yet the whole castle fell mum from just a few of his words. A few seconds later, the crowd recomposed itself, and the strings began to dance along with its bows.

You are pushed into the crowd. Nearly colliding into the arms of another, you quietly thank the masked man who was to be your first partner of the night.

All the men joining the dance floor dressed with the intention of making the Crown Prince shine. Prince Naoya stood out from the throng of white as per the colour code, his blood red uniform as both Prince with the golden crest of the military leader pinned to his right breast. The other men meant to be filler partners until all the potential brides got to their designated three minutes with the Prince were all dressed in black, faces covered behind a plain black mask. None were allowed to talk. None were allowed to utter even a word, and so your partner pursed his lips in displeasure at your apology.

Whatever. You just had to wait a few more rounds before the song finished and transitioned into a new one; the song where you’d been informed would be your time alone with the Prince.

You’d been so lost in your head you barely breathed the entire dance. From partner to partner, you blanked. Your heart drummed so wildly in its cage it begged to come out, and strings of apologies were let out each time your masked partners grimaced for a brief second when their hands came in contact with your sweaty ones. Around you, all the lovely women smiled and danced graciously, mouths moving in unreadable conversations shared with the Crown Prince. Not once did you look at the six partners you’ve danced with. Not once did you worry about tripping on your own feet. Not once did you care that some of the masked men held you a little too roughly for your comfort. Your entire reason for existing in that moment was to witness the Crown Prince himself, mirroring his frown that got deeper and deeper with each woman retreating to the sea of people he’d rejected.

Not once did you even think about being one of them – the girls who’ve ducked their heads down as their parents comforted them over not being the chosen one, of bringing ‘dishonour’ to their families that the mighty Crown Prince had deemed them unworthy. Tears streamed down their faces until black ink followed afterwards, lips trembling from silent sobs.

Despite their broken prides – although there was that minority who simply sighed in relief after returning to their own families – no one would dare interrupt the Crown Prince’s dances.

All of these thoughts crossed your mind too late and at the exact time your masked partner pulled away from you, body half bent in a bow with his arm outstretched to the side. Following where he was gesturing at, your eyes met the Crown Prince’s tall and lean stature, a few blond fringes now fallen from his movements.

Even though a thin layer of sweat shone from his face, Prince Naoya remained ethereal.

And like a snake charmed by the musician’s seductive tone, your feet moved on its own. Fingers stretching until it met with the Crown Prince’s large and warm ones, you were now in front of him. With him. Holding him, touching him, meeting him eye for eye and realizing – gold. His eyes burned a deep shade of gold, elegantly rich and heartbreakingly stunning your heart ached.

Before you knew it, your hands began to tremble, feeling as if your body had been corded into a corset three sizes smaller. You could not breathe, and the Crown Prince took notice.

“You are stiff. Do I make you uncomfortable?” Good Saint. If only possible, you would’ve closed your eyes and basked in the deep warmth of his voice. It reverberated from deep within, breathed out with an air of natural authority and profound confidence it made your knees weak. As if sensing his effect on you (though for the wrong reasons, it seemed), Prince Naoya hummed to himself. “This routine shall last for a few minutes before I can let you go, I’m afraid.”

You instantly realized the implications of your silence. “N-not at all, Your Highness! I am honoured to be dancing with you.”

“There is no honour in a choreographed dance. Everyone will dance with me. It’s nothing special.”

Your heart fell. Prince Naoya not only sounded dejected, but detached as well. As if he found no pleasure or specialty in this event, at a time where he had every opportunity to meet his lover, and that this ball was merely a task to be checked off in his already long list of responsibilities. It wasn’t disappointment, per se, but rather melancholy that left a bitter taste in your mouth. Not because Prince Naoya held little to no regards for something you treasured, but because he sounded terribly alone. Like he was simply waiting for it to end out of discomfort.

“It’s special to me, Your Highness,” you blurted out faster than you could stop yourself. For a moment, you feared you may have offended him, but the Crown Prince only laughs.

And when he did – saint, when he laughed – his eyes crinkled into half moons, pearly whites flashing against the bright lights and his whole chest shook with amusement.

You’d never seen him smile this way before.

Prince Naoya’s laughter didn’t cease. Around you, your gut instincts told that people were now beginning to look; the Crown Prince’s deep rumbles of laughter sounded exquisitely like music as well, after all. “ Is it special to you because you are now dancing and within the Crown Prince’s proximity? As much as I presume how exhilarating it might be for those who mostly see me in the papers and in the tabloids, I assure you, dancing with your Prince is not an honour. Especially when you are all sent the invitations based on your status and not your worthy traits.”

“It’s special to me,” you mumbled, growing shy all of a sudden when the Crown Prince nodded at you to continue. “Because...because it reminds me of the first time we met.”

The Crown Prince hummed in amusement.

“We have met before?”

“Yes, Your Highness. I’m from the Terratian Borders – my father is a loyal servant of His Majesty. You visited the borders when you were eighteen and I was sixteen. Do you remember it, Your Highness? You stormed in my private library.”

Indeed, the young barely-out-of-his-teens Crown Prince barged into your home’s library years ago. You were not previously informed he and his parents would be visiting since they arrived wordlessly, so you were stuck in your chambers as usual, killing time if not for sleeping and tending to the animals. Perched on a ladder, you attempted to reach for a book on the upper shelf when your foot slipped beneath you. At the age of sixteen, you were dramatic enough to say your life flashed before your eyes. You would’ve screamed then had strong arms not appeared out of nowhere, the Crown Prince staring at you with wide, golden eyes as they were now, his breathy rasped as he asked, are you okay, my lady?

The mere recollection of that fateful memory had your cheeks warming in delight. “You were so charming and heroic back then. Even when I had no idea you were a royal, I would have still believed you to be princely,” you said rather absentmindedly, blinking once then twice at your words. “Of course, it’s understandable if you do not remember, Your Highness!”

“My apologies. I do not remember, though Terratia is a wonderful place. Such a shame I was not informed beforehand they had a lovely daughter.”

“Thank you, Your Highness,” you cheered back, cheeks and jaw beginning to ache from how wide you were smiling. But could anyone blame you? You felt absolutely silly that you were a breath away from passing out minutes ago, and now here you were, dancing with the Crown Prince and sharing memories with him like it was a daily occurrence. The words it’s true love when you feel at peace with them suddenly rang back at your head from that latest romance novel you read, and you turned away, hoping the Crown Prince would not read your thoughts to your face. However, Prince Naoya’s lips pursed into a thin line, all traces of humour now disappeared. “I’m sorry – should I not have laughed?”

“No, I don’t mind,” he mused with his jaw locked tight, “I just haven’t seen anyone react that way before.”

“Like what?”

“Like my words meant the entire universe to them. I may dare even say you look terribly in love, though I cannot blame you on that one, can I?”

Prince Naoya shook his head the minute the words left his mouth. Forcing himself to believe it couldn’t be real, perhaps, you truly did not know anymore. Your only plan for tonight was to see the Crown Prince and get to live out your dream of seeing him once more even for just a brief moment before you travelled back home while he married another, and yet – “Your Highness, I’m in love with you. I have always been since the day we met.”

You could no longer stop the words. The voice at the back of your head begged you to shut up and not cause a scene, that your time had passed up and people were staring, yet you remained in his arms no matter how much you wanted nothing more than for the ground to swallow you whole.

“Please do not misunderstand me, Your Highness. I did not come here to attempt to steal your heart and be your wife, though I will admit I have dreamt of meeting you again for so many moons. I...I only want to tell you this. That I love you and even though it was a brief moment, I think the love I’ve always read about felt real and possible for the first time in my life,” chuckling nervously, you gather to courage to face him, adoration shining for the Crown Prince stood shock still before you, however stunned he may be. “I love you, Your Highness. I love you. And to whoever lucky woman you choose to be your betrothed, I hope she takes care of you and showers you with all the affection you are deserving of. You would make a great King. So God help his Crown Prince, and may you lead us all into a better world.”

Prince Naoya did not budge a muscle. His eyes remained hard on yours, breath warm as his nostrils fumed. With each passing second that he did not speak, you grew restless and tugged your arm away from his hold with a disgraceful smile.

You’d truly crossed your line. The repercussions to be faced for this impoliteness would destroy your family’s honour. You had to leave. “Your Highness? The song has changed. It’s time to let go—”

The Crown Prince inched close enough until his hair tickled your cheeks, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine as he pulled you close, close enough that your lower bodies touched. Skin ablaze with heat, you dared not move an inch. “Do you mean it?” he demanded lowly, his fingers ghosting over your wrist to hold you in place. “Do you truly love me? Not for what I have, not for who I was born to be, but me as a person itself?”

Closing your eyes to shudder in a deep breath, you exhaled. “Of course, Your Highness. Even if you were not born as a Prince, I’m sure I would’ve still loved you in a different universe.”

“But I do not know you.”

“We don’t have to know each other, Your Highness, and we never will. Once you let me go, I’ll return to the shadows where I belong, and I will continue supporting you until the day of your coronation.”

“And if I refuse to let you go?” he clicked his tongue, “What will you do then?”

The Crown Prince’s spicy perfume must be an aphrodisiac or hypnotizer of sorts. Everything he did messed with your mind that it was too late – the music had stopped and people were no longer drinking or chatting. Everyone’s eyes were on you and the Crown Prince. You could only imagine how controversial this position must be; with his lips trailing dangerously close to that sensitive spot in your neck where you nearly moaned. You really needed to leave.

“P-people are looking, Your Highness. You do not want this affair with someone you won’t choose—”

“Who said I won’t choose you?” Finally, he pulled away. But Prince Naoya never once tore his gaze away from yours, nor did he allow you to look at anyone but him as he caresses your jaw so light and feathery you wondered if he was truly there.“Who said I haven’t laid my eyes on you the moment you walked in here? This ball is for naught because of you, Lady Y/N. I’ve already made my choice, and you helped me confirm it as soon as you danced with me.”

“Your Highness...”

“Look at me,” he ordered, your eyes flitting from his pinkish lips to his sharp nose and then to his fox-like gaze. Only this time, Prince Naoya was no longer harsh. “Don’t be scared.”

“But they’re looking.”

“You are with me, of course they’ll look,” he teased, “They wish to be you right now. But ignore them and dance one more time with me.”

It wasn’t like you had a choice, but did it matter? One nod from him was all it took before the orchestra fumbled back to their spots and a new song played, Ode of Moonlight Lovers, and the Crown Prince was guiding you back to where he had originally danced with you.

From the corners of your eyes, you caught a glimpse of your parents with their mouths gaped open; your father looking like he was on the verge of passing out. However, you felt nothing but joy, nothing but the adrenaline pumping through your veins as he danced and twirled you in his arms. When the music stopped and you were both panting for air with silly smiles on your face, it dawned on you that you were with the Prince. No, rather, it was only you and the Prince alone. Even in the sea of people whose faces began to blur, he prevailed crystal clear.

You could recognize him anywhere, find him everywhere.

Prince Naoya stepped impossibly closer until your chests touched, hearts beating as one. Cupping your jaw, he was near enough that he swallowed all your shaky breaths with a small, teasing smile like you both shared a secret the entire world could not know.

“Do I still make you nervous?”

Laughing, you nodded. “Yes, Your Highness. I feel like I’m going to explode.”

“It’s beloved now,” he corrected, face inching closer and closer to a point you could count the number of his lower lashes. “And what do lovers do to seal their union?”

“M-Marriage?”

“Close, but this is much better.”

If anyone were to tell you that you would have a love story ripped out straight from a fairytale, you would’ve laughed at their faces. You were no Cinderella, nor were you a goddess of beauty that could’ve possibly caught the Crown Prince’s eye. Yet, his soft lips were on yours, kissing you with as much passion you could only dream of that you cried.

Strong hands guiding the back of your waist, Prince Naoya dipped you lower to the ground – the grand of finish of his dance. He had chosen his bride.

The crowd cheered and rejoiced all around you, making you smile into the kiss. Fisting his collar to bring him closer to yours, your mouth burst into metaphorical fireworks as soon as his tongue mingled with yours for an experimental taste. He was bitter yet sweet; expensive wine resting on his tongue, yet a delicate vanilla sat heavily on his soft lips that molded with yours. It was a taste you could spend forever being addicted on. And you were crying, crying so much your chest ached and the Prince’s cheeks grew damp from yours. You’d dreamt of this for so long, too long now.

Prince Naoya slowly pulled you away, his thumb wiping the tears away from the pads of your cheeks with tenderness in his touch. However, the Prince was not satisfied. The crowd whooped as he leant down to kiss your forehead. “You are mine now, my princess.”

Looping his hands with yours, the Crown Prince led you out of the castle. The crowd parted naturally to make way for the new couple, and you were left staring at his broad back and the tuft of blond hair where you’d soon find out how soft it would be. Sending one last glance to your crying parents, you waved goodbye. You had no idea where the Crown Prince would take you but you were already bunching your dress up, heart completely filled with trust you did not question it. What mattered tonight and for the rest of your life was that it felt right. That it was him – your beloved Prince Naoya Zen’in and soon to be husband – that you’d follow through the moon and back.

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onlyplatonicirl · 2 years

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god that last chapter in conjunction with a few of the previous ones got me thinking, just what were those training sessions like for both paperjam and gradient? so without anywhere to post my thoughts im putting them into your inbox, enjoy! dont feel pressured to respond to these, im am simply screaming into the void

alright so, we dont know much about paperjam's time with those sessions, in fact we really dont know much about him at all in regards to his childhood, im really hoping that as the story unfolds we'll get a little bit of insight into it, but considering all that we do know, i can only postulate that his training sessions wouldve been focused on his ability to create. im certain the council wouldve tested for his destructive capabilities, but compared to his brother he seems to be far less skilled in that regard, which in their eyes is now doubt a good thing. i cant help but think how they reacted to this, going off of whats gradient has said, it appears as though this occured when they were very young, so im left thinking when they discovered the extent of his powers, was their immediate thought how they could best put to use this child's powers? and if so, even if they werent ever going to use them, what would they do with that power? its rather obvious paperjam has quite the negative perception on the council, although im sure this is mostly influenced by the way they treated his brother, however was there anything else that influenced this view, perhaps his own experiences?

that brings me to gradient's experience, its obvious he also has a poor opinion of the council, although with far less outright hatred than paperjam. they hurt him, physically. when that incident occured, was that the end of those sessions? or did it continue for a while after, and for how long? from that point on how did he feel? was he not absolutely terrified hed be hurt again? had his trust in the council not been broken? was there times when hed kick and scream and beg to stay at home? im sure ink is a busy man, did paperjam have to take him? did he have to drag his brother there, knowing he was actively destroying his trust? did he ever just say fuck it, and let him stay at home? when he did go, did gradient ever truant? did he run off and hide in the bathrooms, sitting on the seats, hands clasped over his mouth to hide his panicked breathing despite his lack of lungs and all other organs necessary for respiration?

i wonder what their final sessions were like? was it a complete juxtaposition? was paperjams a glorious graduation? was he congratulated for his time and effort? was everyone proud of him? delighted with the feats he had accomplished? did he create one final masterpiece, a magnum opus of his very essence, a shining example of what made him, him, what made him special and worthy of love and praise

and was gradient met with shock, disgust and horror? did screams ring out as the council finally realised the full extent of his powers? did he leave behind a crater, a nuclear fallout of his own frantic design? and was he proud? was he expecting to be met with praise, congratulated for doing as hed been told? did he go home that night confused and distraught? not understanding why he had been punished for doing as they said?

did paperjam see that? was he frightened by it? scared of his own younger brother? did he put on a brave face, as per usual?

what about ink, did he even care at all?

!!!! Anon!!!!! You are asking very large brained questions, and I am happy to provide answers!!!

For both Paperjam and Gradient, those training sessions were essentially their own version of schooling. There are local schools where they could have attending but these were Error and Ink’s kids, clearly they needed special education and attention.

Both the kids learned a Merida of things from personal tutors - math, history, science, language- y’know, school stuff. Basic knowledge stuff. But they were also taught magic. How to discover their own unique abilities and harness them. There were great expectations for the kids considering who they were (and a little bit of fear for both of them).

There was no abuse within the council towards either one of the children, they were treated quite well. Of course, some people didn’t like the kids based on their relation to Error but those people weren’t asked to help. Gradient became fairly close with his history teacher, as he showed a genuine love for the subject.

PJ always excelled in magic training much more than his brother because as you said, he had a much more natural propensity to create. His intrinsic abilities lie in creation and control of ink/paint, which are both things similar to Ink. Gradient’s intrinsic abilities would lie in very glitch-based magic, and he can do lots of neat things with it. He can create things, ofc he can he’s Ink’s kid, but he’s not as good at it as his brother and it is easier for him to use his powers for destruction. The glitches can tear into and eat apart most things, and can also greatly improve the damage that can be done by other charms/spells. It is also difficult for Gradient to have full control over his own magic

One day, something went wrong and he was doing that “absolute annihilation I-can-see-the-matrix” thingy that he did in the last chapter, but the area of destruction and the additional damages was much higher than just a coffee table this time. One of the people that was in the room with him became injured by it, and in fear they directly attacked Gradient with a lot of force. The result ended up being a broken arm and a concussion, as well as some severely bruised ribs.

(This is one of the reasons Gradient does not hate the council as much as his brother. A part of him believes the attack was justified.)

The council never forced him back or harassed him or his brother. There was no consistent abuse suffered by the brothers, but after a few more sessions they decided to drop Gradient’s magic schooling and believed that educating him on controlling such raw strength would cause more harm than good, especially as the power grows. Keep in mind Gradient was specifically engineered to be a weapon. PJ was a happy accident.

PJ continued his schooling, was still trained up until a little while ago. He does not trust the institution as a whole but he recognizes genuine people in those that help him train. There was no official “graduation”, as all his education came from one on one sessions with tutors and mentors. Gradient has not been completely abandoned from the council, but a lot of his education (excluding magic) was continued remotely. It was clear they really didn’t want him in the building and Gradient didn’t mind all that much, he was scared of himself as well.

I believe Ink did show a bit of concern, but nothing that would actually make him scared of Gradient. Ink wasn’t a very involved parent in their lives. The boys looked up to him as a parental figure but often had to look out for themselves when ink was out doing multiverse stuff. I doubt Ink was happy about the situation with Gradient and about the injuries that his son had sustained, and obviously was pissed at whoever hurt him but I do not believe he necessarily understood what the whole thing meant on a deeper level like PJ did.

I hope this answers your questions and thank you for reading!!! :)

#ask lorel #anon #tcoti #gradient sans #Paperjam sans #utmv #the council of the inevitable

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aphrodite-would-be-proud · 3 years

Note

Hi! How are you doing? ^^ ☆

Just wanted to know if you could make a headcanon about how would it be like after an argument with Armin? Please

Tysm for reading me, I love your work ♡♡♡

You're so sweet and nice ♡ of course I'd love to do one and tbh we must be on the same wavelength because i was just thinking about that yesterday!!!

I really liked your idea so imma do both a scenario and a headcanon! Hope you don't mind?

After an argument with Armin

{ Armin x reader | tw: hurt/comfort, self-image issues | angst with happy ending | modern }

{ "Moonlit View" byOscar Kleineh 1846 - 1919 }

Being with Armin had its many, many perks, one being that he's really empathetic and understanding, he doesn't assume things without evidence and knows misunderstandings happen.

When facing problems or disagreements, he thinks of a solution, not argue. He rather you work together against the problem than against each other.

Whenever you were in a bad mood he'd assume the best and think of what might have caused it instead of taking it personally, he knows you still love him, he knows you're just stressed. Maybe comfort could help? Maybe a lovely cuddly evening? Or maybe you need some space?

He's just really good at reading people's emotions and handling these situations, thanks to his efforts you both successfully managed to avoid any kind of arguments or fights most couples go through.

Which is why it was a shocking surprise to everyone when Eren got a call from Armin late at night, asking if he can stay over because you two just had, what he described as, the biggest fight.

Eren almost didn't believe him at first, he thought Armin was playing a prank on him. But then he heard the quivering in his voice and the hiccup that followed. Armin was crying, things were serious.

The last thing he said to you while putting his coat on was "I'm sorry, I'm weak, you and I know that."

Him saying that, in that tone, with those tearful eyes, made you want to get up and yell at him that no he isn't. He shouldn't just say that about himself like it's a fact and not just the results of years of self-doubt.

You wanted to hug him, to pull him closer till all those awful thoughts leave his head, till he sees at himself like how you see him, incredibly brave and determined.

But you didn't, you stayed there on the couch as he put his shoes on. His eyes pleading for you to say something, anything. To tell him to stay, to come sit near you. He even looked at you one last time before opening the door.

As you stared at him in silence, the realisation that you don't even remember what you were fighting about hit you, you can't, how could you? The minute the door closed behind him is when you realised how real the situation is.

How quiet the house is.

Has it always been this cold?

And just how much worried you are about him.

It hasn't been a full minute and you're missing him already.

—

It's 4am

It's hours since he left, how much exactly? You can't even remember.

Still haven't moved from the couch, you're not sure what you're feeling, you've been going through different emotions each hour.

Guilt, sadness, regret, anger, denial, pessimism, you name it.

It doesn't matter, none of that really matters to you right now. It's Armin who you've been worried about for a while that matter.

You know for a fact Eren and Mikasa aren't the most emotionally open people, you know Armin is already struggling with letting out his emotions without feeling needless guilt or shame.

You know he needs someone right now, he needs a shoulder to cry on and a reassuring voice. You've been both these things for him since even before you got together.

Just like he has been these things for you too. You need that someone just as much now. You didn't even know it's possible to feel this lonely.

Is he also thinking about you? Is he sleeping soundly on Eren’s couch? Or is that one stain from last week's party bothering him?

...is he just as miserable as you are right now? Probably not, you think. He's far stronger than he gives himself credit for, you know that better than everyone else.

Your thought process gets interrupted by a buzz from your phone, a text. Your eyes light up, you pull the blanket you dragged from the bed tighter around you, it's Armin.

[ hey ] it said, [is it okay if i call you?]

You reply back, he starts typing again, you stare at those three dots like your life depends on them.

[Okay, give me a minute please ]

You pull the phone closer to you, it's brightness contratsing against the dark living room. Some minutes pass...nothing, you feel your heartbeat rising. Phone still clutched in your hands.

It rings, it doesn't get past the second ring before you've pressed the accept button. You can hear the wind on the other side, alongside the distant sound of passing cars. Your heart only slows down after hearing the fimilar and oh so lovely sound of soft breathing

Suddenly the world doesnt seem so dim anymore.

"Sorry, it took more time than i thought, Eren keeps his keys in really weird places...I hope i didn't make you worry"

Oh If only he knew..

Dozens of possible replies run through your mind.

I missed you, did you miss me too?

Please come back, I hate feeling this lonely.

How does it feel to take my heart and run away?

Was your voice always this captivating or am i just high on sleep-deprevation?

I miss your kisses, i wish i could feel your lips against mine. Could you kiss me through the phone?

...in the end, you settle for "It's okay" you say, "It's alright."

"That's good...hey listen." You listen, "I'm not going to skirt around the subject, i called because" he takes a deep breath, "i want to apologise for how i acted, for what i said, both to you and myself."

Hearing him admit to his faults and own up to his mistakes, fills you with courage to do the same. You apologise, you mention how you've been thinking about him, you leave out the embarrassing parts.

You tell him you love him, and miss him.

You're met with silence. So you call out his name.

"Wait..you're not mad at me?" He says.

What? Mad? You?

"No." You say. "Why would you think that?"

You hear a chuckle that evolves into a laugh, it's contagious.

"Fuck...oh god I'm...im so stupid, i left because I thought you were mad and didn't bother you more by making you look at me." Even he seems to realise just how ridiculous that concept is.

It's 5am now, you're both laughing over the phone. The world is good again.

You ask if he's mad at you.

He instantly replies with a no.

"I could never be mad at you..." he says, "I love you so much it hurts. I love you like I've never loved anyone else before that it terrfies me, I'm scared one day I'll wake up and you won't be beside me anymore, you've made me love myself in ways i never though i would, you made me believe in myself because you believed in me."

{ Headcanons }

After an argument, Armin tries giving both of you space to calm down.

It doesn't last long because he will approach you after and talk about his emotions and explains why he did the things he did. He will also apologise for the things he did wrong like yelling or saying something hurtful.

If you give him the okay, he will instantly hug you. Physical touch is a great comfort for him so don't expect him letting you go anytime soon.

He will hold your face gently, tell you how much he missed you despite it being only hours.

Doesn't even care about the argument anymore or attempt to bring it up, he just wants to make up asap.

You're both gonna have a heartfelt conversation and actually process your emotions together. As a result you two come out stronger and closer after each argument.

He doesn't hold grudges, so he won't ever act passive aggressive after an argument. if he's got a problem he will tell you.

Just 100% honestly and transparency with this golden boy.

Will want to spend more time together post argument, he will really love it if you watch something together or you let him read you something.

Give him love and affaction, he loves you deeply it's actually rare these days.

When you go to sleep on those nights, he will hold you tighter and stroke your back.

He doesn't hold grudges yet he still remembers each fight you had and instead of it being a sour memory, he thinks of it as a learning block. Just a step towards understanding each other more.

Pamper him more after an argument and he will feel so loved, hearts in his eyes as you brush his morning hair.

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professional-benaddict · 3 years

Text

@starkiller-queen wrote me a wHole oneshot and sent it in an ask so I edited it into a post bc it’s a whole ass aMAZING SWEET THING🥺🥺💗💗

«Hi Rafni! I wrote you a lil something to help you feel better 💙 fandom therapy is best therapy! Now don’t eat this ask tumblr …»

“Daddy’s so sorry he can’t make it home tonight, baby. I know I promised, but I’ll be there when you wake up tomorrow and we’ll have a great big breakfast of pancakes!”

Peter gazed into the camera of his phone with big doe eyes. He was trying to be a big boy - honest! He swallowed the lump in his throat and put on his brave face. Daddy would want him to be brave.

“An’ I can have chock-late chips?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Whipped cream too!”

“Sure baby, just this once,” Stephen concedes. It was the least he could do to make up for Peter spending the night alone.

“Did you brush your teeth?”

Peter nodded and brought the phone even closer to his face to show off his pearly whites.

“Good job sweetie! They look super shiny clean. Did you wash your face?”

Peter nodded again, afraid that his anxious little voice would give him away.

“That’s a good boy! Daddy is so proud of you,” Stephen praised and blew him a kiss through the phone.

Peter giggled, but it was only half-hearted.

“Okay baby, it’s way past your bedtime. Daddy’s going to get off the phone so you can go to sleep, alright? Did you pick out jammies?”

“Nuh-uh!” Peter said, realization dawning on him.

Stephen couldn’t help but chuckle. “That’s okay Petey pie. Why don’t we say goodnight and then you can snuggle down, okay? Daddy loves you so much. Sweet dreams baby boy, I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.”

“Love you too Daddy, ni-night,” Peter replied before blowing a kiss back.

Stephen smiled one last time before ending the call. Peter sniffled as he looked down at the blank screen. Being brave was so hard without Daddy around! He scrubbed the tears away from his eyes before hopping off of the big bed and over to Stephen’s closet. He opened the door and grabbed the first cozy hoodie he saw. It was grey and had a big word on it that Peter couldn’t read, but he knew it had something to do with where Daddy learned to be a doctor.

He slipped the sweatshirt on over his head and flapped his arms around in the too-long sleeves. It was funny to wear oversized clothes sometimes! He laughed and did a little dance around the bedroom, pretending he was going to fancy doctor school too.

But what kind of doctor went to school without pants?! Peter ran back to the dresser and took out a pair of comfy blue sweatpants. They were Daddy’s favorite lounge clothes, and they smelled the most like him. Peter slipped the pants on over his pull-up and went to lay on Stephen’s side of the big bed.

He held Baby Seal in his arms, but the bed felt too big for just him and his little friend. When he rolled over to face the empty side of the bed, he couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. Even with the lamp on, being home alone at night was scary! It seemed like it would be forever until Stephen got home, and Peter felt as if their special pancake breakfast wouldn’t happen for days.

He wiped his face with the too-long sleeves of Stephen’s sweatshirt and cried into the soft, worn fabric. If Daddy couldn’t be there himself, the next best thing was wearing his clothes. Peter squeezed his eyes shut and breathed in the comforting scents. Maybe if he tried hard enough, it would be like being wrapped up in Daddy’s arms! He fell into a light, restless sleep, overtired from worry and still missing Daddy.

When Stephen arrived home, it was almost five in the morning. He was exhausted from a full day and night of travel, but his heart melted when he stepped into the bedroom and saw Peter curled up in his university sweatshirt.

“Baby boy, I’m home,” Stephen spoke quietly as he touched his hand to Peter’s shoulder.

“Dada?” Peter mumbled, voice groggy with sleep.

“Yes sweetie, it’s me. Daddy’s home,” he said and kissed Peter’s forehead. “You just go back to sleep, okay? It’s veeery early. Daddy just wanted to say hello.”

Stephen moved to put on his pajamas, but Peter caught his hand with a surprisingly strong grip.

“Daddy!”

Stephen turned around and wondered if it had really been such a good idea to wake the baby. He was about to tell Peter to go back to sleep when he saw his red and watery eyes.

“Oh baby,” he said and scooped Peter into his arms. “You really missed me, huh?”

“Uh-huh! Missed you lots!” Peter said through sobs.

Stephen carded his hand through Peter’s soft curls and gently rocked him back and forth. The way Peter clung to him made his heart ache.

“Shh, it’s okay sweetie, Daddy’s here now, Daddy’s here,” he reassured and rubbed soothing circles on Peter’s back. “You were so good and brave for me, I’m sooo proud of you!”

“Was scary!”

“I know baby, shh … I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you, sweet boy.”

“You’re not leavin’ ‘gain?”

“No Petey pie, Daddy’s so happy to be home with you.”

Once his cries quieted to hiccups, Peter lifted his head from Stephen’s shoulder and looked at him through watery eyes.

“And I see you chose the Columbia sweatshirt?” Stephen asked, hoping to lighten the mood.

“Mmhmm,” Peter said shyly, suddenly unable to meet Stephen’s eyes.

“It’s okay baby, I only asked because you look so cute in it.”

“Is where you did doctor school?” Peter asked. He loved when Stephen told him funny stories from his university days.

“Yep, that’s where Daddy learned to be a doctor. It’s called Columbia University.”

“Co-lum-i-ah …” Peter said, rolling the word around in his mouth.

Stephen smiled warmly and sat back against the pillows on the bed, Peter still in his arms.

“Here baby, let’s get you all nice and comfy and Daddy will tell you a story, okay?”

Peter shifted so his head was on Stephen’s chest and nodded with sleepy eyes. He was already starting to drift off, but he couldn’t miss out on the story!

“My best friend from uni is Christine. We work together really well, but it wasn’t always that way,” Stephen said and paused to chuckle. “When we first met, Daddy was kind of a little bit of a know-it-all, and she did not like it. To get back at me, she hid my stethoscope in the chemistry lab and I couldn’t find it for a week!”

Peter gave a sleepy giggle and fell asleep smiling with the knowledge that Daddy was here to stay.

thAnk you thank you so so much for this darling im like deAd and re read it twice already🥺🥺💗💗 i liiive for peter curling up in stephen’s columbia hoodie ahhhh🥰🥰🥰🥰

#little!peter #daddy!stephen #spiderstrange #strangespider #stephen strange #peter parker

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jennnsartofgettingby · 3 years

Text

the brother of house black: sirius and regulus angst

cw: mentions of abuse. again its angst read with caution

a/n: this was something i wrote months ago because i only know pain. so here share my pain. if you guys like this i have continuations written that i can post

"sirius," regulus cried in a hushed voice seizing his brother by the wrist. "just do as they ask, we both know its the only way."

sirius snapped his wrist from regulus' grip staring him down coldly

"you know better than anyone that i can no longer refrain from expressing my beliefs," he stated

regulus' lip quivered. he was terrified for his brother and what his parents would do when sirius finally pinched their last nerve

"if you do this, they will never forgive you. they will not hold back. they will treat you as if you were never their child, their heir." regulus attempting to sway his brothers mind

sirius shook his head pinching the bridge of his nose is frustration. "regulus you are the only member of this wretched house who has ever loved me, who i have ever loved."

"so then listen to me!" regulus cried stepping towards his brother

"no," sirius shot. "im sorry it has come to this but you gotta promise me something, alright?"

"fine," regulus huffed. he crossed his arms awaiting his brothers request. he was angry. he felt his heart ache. but he understood. and that was enough to continue to be a bystander to his brothers situation

"you will not interfere, no matter what they do." sirius replied at last. "you are not to throw yourself in the line of fire for me, okay?"

regulus nodded and agreed against his better judgement. "you have my word."

they stared at each other for a long moment. two brothers with two very different stories

sirius saw the pain deep within regulus' eyes. he thought he might cave. then he remembered orion and walburga. he remembered their cruel punishments and their awful beliefs. he remembered the first time he was hit with a torture curse; how he collapsed to his knees wincing in pain, a pain unlike any other he had ever felt before. so he blinked the thought of being their puppet away

he had imagined all his life what it would be like to finally confront his parents. what it would be like to run away. how freeing it would feel; how freedom would taste. how happy he would be to escape. but now as he stood minutes away from that reality it was nothing like he expected. he thought it would be easy and simple. he never imagined to have second thoughts or any sort of doubt

he had been wrong. he wished he had the courage to stay and continue to watch over regulus. he was at his own breaking point, however. if he stayed, it would kill him. he had to leave. he had to be selfish. he could only hope regulus would understand some day

regulus stared at his elder brother in complete and utter awe of his courage. never once had sirius backed down or begged for their parents mercy. he silently winced in pain whenever his parents used curses on him. i wish i had what you have, he thought. he could never be the brave man his brother had grown to be. but he could save himself. which was all sirius had ever wanted for him; to be a puppet until he could disappear into a kinder world

"come here" sirius mumbled opening his arms towards his baby brother

regulus embraced him as if it would be their last hug. if it was, he wanted to remember it. they squeezed each other tightly. almost tight enough to suffocate the other

sirius released his brother and pulled away keeping his hands on his shoulder

he gave him a stern look, "worry about saving yourself, okay? and ill worry about saving myself."

regulus nodded and watched his brother disappear shaking with fear of what was awaiting his brother in the library

while regulus waited in silence and agonizing worry sirius was making his way to his parents who resided in the library

"you called for me," sirius said stepping into the room

his parents sat on opposite ends of the ouch and stood as their eldest soon entered the room

"yes," orion said quite calmly

"come," walburga demanded waving him further into the library. "we have an important matter to discuss."

sirius nodded and took a seat in the leather chair across from the couch. its now or never, he thought to himself. he did his best to stay calm and composed. if his mother suspect the slightest suspicion from him surly she would read his mind. if that happened he stood no chance

"you are getting older, becoming a man," orion stated

"well spotted," sirius grinned. he had to keep them guessing

"quit it with the jokes young man," his mother hissed sitting up snappily

he nodded at her then turned his attention back to his father

"as you know the war is progressing quickly and this is happening sooner than we anticipated," his father explained

sirius grew warm as his nerves spiked. he thought he knew what this would be about but now he was not so sure. he felt as thought he was playing a game without knowing the rules

"i apologize, im sure you were not expecting this all so soon but," his father paused. if thee orion black was hesitating to speak, sirius knew this was far worse than anything he had anticipated

"you must take the mark at once," his father finally getting down to business

"what!" sirius blurted not intending to

"you heard your father," his mother replied sternly. "you are to take the mark as soon as possible. tomorrow morning to be exact."

sirius sank back in the chair. everything was blurry. his mind was racing, spinning actually. his heart was beating out of his chest or so he thought

this cannot be happening, i was supposed to have at least another year or so before this was asked of me

"well," his father pulling him back to the situation at hand

sirius stood up, "no"

"no?" his parents said in unison puzzled looks on both of their faces

"no," sirius repeated. "i will not"

"it was not a choice young man," his mother started

"it was a demand," his father finished

"and i said no," sirius held his ground

"i will not take the mark of a man who stands for beliefs i do not value let alone agree with. our blood does not make us any more worthy of a place in this world," sirius spat angrily

they stared at him mouths hanging open as if they were astonished by what he had said. were they really expecting anything else? sirius asked himself. they know i would never

"oh dont look so surprised. i was the black sheep of this family for the moment i came out of you. everyone knew it. i was never going to be your heir, your perfect son," he carried on

"you are no son of mine," orion stated standing up and pointing his wand at his son

"if i had any say in the matter, you would never have been my father," he turned to walburga. "and you would have never been my mother."

now walburga stood with her wand pointed at her son slowly inching closer to him

"how dare you disgrace this family. how dare you speak to us in such a way," she hissed like a snake, as her wand pressed into sirius throat so hard he thought shed draw blood

he gulped, suddenly aware he bit off more than he was able to chew at the moment. he should have kept his mouth shut and disappeared silently during the night

before he knew it both his parents had casted the cruciatus curse on him

he knew the feeling all too well. the pain coursing through him, making his knees weak, his body loosing control and unable to stop itself from causing harm

but this time he felt it could kill him. perhaps it was their anger enhancing the curse or simply the force of two curse combined, but for the first time sirius could not bit his tongue and silence his tears

he collapsed to his knees and let out a cry that rang through number twelve grimwald place. he sobbed for what felt like hours, swallowing his pride, and begging, not his parents, but something greater to finish him off

im better off dead he thought as he saw his parents laughing at their son, who finally cracked

#sirius black angst #sirius black #regulus black angst #regulus black #sirius and regulus #harry potter angst

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dervampireprince · 2 years

Note

I'm so happy I could help and that you're feeling a bit better, dear prince, I got a bit anxious because after sending the ask I felt like I maybe it would feel like too much. I'm very glad it didn't 💕

I think you did something very brave, and hey, if you feel like it's too much to have on your blog you can always delete it, it's not going to stay around Tmblr if no one's reblogged it. I read other people coming to you too about this, so it's good to know that we are all in this together, even if our voices seem too small haha

Also don't ever feel pressured into getting a hug from me alright? I don't know if it would make it better, but I could always hug you from behind, let your back press against my chest and leave my head leaning on your shoulder, hands on your darling hips. That way I get to keep you close and leave all the kisses I feel like on your neck, ain't I lucky? 💙

it wasn't too much, it was very much needed and appreciated.

oh hey look.. its not that my dysphoria is sometimes gone but sometimes im just thinking about it more.. that vent was.. idk i was having a moment. the idea of someone draping themselves over my back is very nice, i think in moments where i need to feel held i just like being able to nuzzle my face into someone.. idk why. that post wasn't made in response to you or anything. but i'll me smiling away at whatever way you want to hold me.

#the vampire answers #blue heart anon

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falling-fineline · 3 years

Text

Rest It On Your Fingertips

(Cake Hoodings one shot)

hi! you can call me elle!

this is my first cake ever one-shot!

ive never written anything like this before so please be kind and i did write this in 2 days while i was high and horny and thinking about calum and luke.

the following one shot does have references to self-harm so tread lightly.

other than that, this is just a angsty smutty fluffy mess! hope you like it! please reblog or like this post if you do or you can read it on ao3

come talk with me! im swear i dont bite! xx

“Heeeeey, you said I could have the last puff,” Luke whines, sticking out his bottom lip.

Even from right beside him as he pulls on the rooch, eyes hooded, Calum can see how chewed up his boyfriend’s bottom lip is. His teeth working relentlessly ever since the two of them started smoking after their show. For a brief moment, Calum wonders why the other was so nervous as he turns to face luke on the bed, slowly mo0ving his left hand to grasp Luke’s chin. Leaning in, the older bloke blew the last of their shared joint into the other's lips.

Calum’s lips lingered on luke’s for just a moment before he leant back on the headboard, admiring Luke’s side profile as he exhales out slowly, the smoke curling around in the air in front of them. Casted by the low lamp light, Luke’s nose looks more fairy-like against the stark shadows.

Luke hums contently, eyes closed, a huge grin on his lips. Luke tilts his head back as he too leaned back against the headboard, relaxing into the wooden board as the high seeps through him. He’s on the good side of buzzed, feeling warmth circling through his veins, slouching further into the mattress.

Calum glances and notices that Luke has his eyes closed. Feeling unusually brave, (probably from the weed), Calum leans in and licks a bold strip up the side of Luke’s left cheek. His tongue runs along Luke’s beard, getting a loud open-mouthed laugh bursting out of the blond.

“That tickles!” Luke’s shaking shoulders from his laughter bumps into calum’s black vest cladded chest.

Luke’s black leather jacket hung in the bathroom to air dry out the smells of a 2 hour show. The blond lad’s red silk button up looked blood red under the warm hotel room lights. Calum can’t help but run his hands slowly down from Luke’s chin, trailing down the button band, first through Luke’s chest hair, fingers moving on to clink his finger nails against the bottoms, small clacking sounds is barely heard over the sound of music that’s playing from calum’s Bluetooth speaker.

Luke’s eyes flutter open as he senses the warmth radiating off calum’s hands casting over his chest as it hovers there, actions paused for a moment.

Today was Calum and Luke’s one month anniversary of when Calum asked a shy looking luke out, a blush painted on the blond’s cheeks as the younger lad had nodded fervently with a huge his playing on his lips. His lips. Which were nervously being bitten. Why was he nervous? It could be because of the conversation they had this morning.

Luke had clung longer than usual when they had their morning cuddles. When Calum asked his boyfriend what was on his mind, the blond took a breathe and answered into calum’s stomach.

“I want us to finally have sex tonight..After the show. Like all the way. I want to celebrate tonight. I want you in me, Cal.” Luke’s voice had tapered off toward the end, getting more and more anxious the longer he went on. Calum had scooped Luke into his arms and hugged him tight, lifting the other off their feet. Luke had laughed open mouthed like he does when he’s happy.

Fast forward to now, where Calum can clearly see the blond’s growing bulge that’s hidden under cotton white Calvin klein briefs. Clearly ready for their first time together. Calum noticed that Luke always got horny when they got high. Whereas Calum got mellow, calmer, more observant of his surroundings. And it wasn’t until recently that Calum caught on that yes Luke was affectionate but he was also trying to flirt with Calum when he was high. Having the edge off from the weed had helped Luke’s courage and self-esteem a lot.

Calum had also noticed that Luke’s hands unconsciously played with the bottom hems of his briefs, pulling them down further his pale thighs whenever they rode up from movement.

“What’s got my pretty boy’s head all worked up?” Calum asked the blond lad across from him. Both hands coming down to hold and steady Luke’s nervous pair. Although every other part of look is hot to the touch, his hands remain cold. Poor circulation do to his nerves probably.

“I’m nervous of how you’ll… react.” Luke said into his chest, head bowed down to hide his face from Calum’s view. Hands squeezing shut under calum’s tattooed pair.

“React to what?”

In the dim bed side light that’s casting over Luke’s face, it looks as if Luke’s eyes are filled to the brim with tears, holding it back for the sake of show. The blond's cheeks grow hot in embarrassment even though he doesn’t know why because he’s cried in front of Calum before.

“You’re my best friend, bandmate and boyfriend, babe, you can tell me anything that’s on your mind and hopefully I’ll help you alleviate your troubles.” Calum strokes his thumb across the backs of Luke’s hands to try to ease him down, try not to get him too worked up. His other hand came up to stroke across the bottom of Luke’s left eye and swiped some tears away.

“I’d like to keep my shirt on if that’s alright with you.” Luke said firmly, looking up into calum’s eyes to communicate his conviction.

“Of course, whatever you’re comfortable with, pet.”

Luke blushes a light shade of pink at the pet name. And, with new found courage, the blond closes the distance between their lips. Mouths working together, the kiss begins at a slow tempo, hands roaming bodies as lightly as the afternoon wind sweeps over red dessert peaks and valleys. The kiss turns breathless when Calum’s hands wander past Luke’s perky nipples, erected due to the immense pleasure and connection he’s feeling between them. The brunette takes his time kissing down Luke’s torso, nuzzling his face into blond curly chest hair to get a breathless laugh from Luke.

Usually, when the two of them get intimate, it’s usually Calum receiving pleasure while luke eagerly gives it. They have had their fair share of dressing room quick blowjobs. And it’s not that Calum doesn’t have love to give back. He has so much actually, but luke always pushes his hands away or if the blond does get really eager for relief, he keeps his briefs on while Calum sucked him off.

Calum never questioned Luke on why he keeps certain clothes on during sex, but he chalks it up to Luke slowly opening up to him and being more and more comfortable when the two of them get intimate.

So when Calum goes to remove Luke’s briefs, he looks up to the blond and asks “Is it alright if I take this off for you?”

Calum can feel the blond’s muscles tighten then release for a moment before he answers with a quiet “yes”.

Agonizingly slow, Calum takes off Luke’s briefs, Luke lifting up his bum to help his boyfriend with the process. When they get settled again, Luke’s briefs thrown beside the bed, Calum finally understands why Luke had been nervous about. Or really, Calum sees them.

Thin messy white lines of healed scar tissue line Luke’s inner thighs, strokes beside one another in a somewhat orderly fashion. Not one of them are any longer than 5cm in length, but the sheer amount of them made beside one another is jarring. Calum feels Luke’s eyes on him as the brunet takes it all in.

“Y-you don’t have to… pay any mind to them.” Luke’s voice trembles a bit as his left hand goes to grab a hold of calum’s hand, grasping it tightly.

Calum’s eyes are filled with unshed tears as he softly uses his free hand to stroke over the fading scars. There’s roughly 30 odd lines riddled into Luke’s fleshy skin, on each thigh.

In a quiet whisper, Calum asks “Can I know when it started?”

Luke answers a while later. “The breakup with her was hard for me to… process. And then when we came off tour, I was all alone in my house and I-… it was like I was in my own personal purgatory. It was Ashton that actually found me in my bathroom,” The blond gulps, eyes casted downwards. “after I had cut myself particularly too hard, I had panicked and called Ash. He came into my house but for a while I didn’t open the bathroom door for him. I was so ashamed. I was scared too though. So the fear brought me to opening the door for Ash and when he saw how pale I was, how unwell I was, he asked me to move in with him for a while. Until I got back on my feet.”

The blond lulled his head until it landed in the crooks of calum’s shoulder. Calum leans his head into Luke’s for a moment then speaks.

“Luke Hemmings, I love you so damn much. You are the strongest person I know and you’ve come so far. So so far. You are a bright light in my life that I look forward to seeing and loving every single day. So Luke, will you let me take care of you tonight?” Calum’s hands start to sweat as he waits for the blond to answer.

“Yeah, alright.” Luke whispers, closing his eyes as he moves to get settled on the bed with a pillow put behind his head.

Calum’s about to stick his pointer finger into his mouth to lube it up with spit when Luke’s eyes snap open and he grabs a hold of calum’s hand mid air. Luke slowly recloses his eyes as he sticks calum’s pointer finger into his mouth, pink lips surrounding his knuckle. A low moan is hummed around calum’s finger as Luke lows down at Calum, where he’s lying his head on Luke’s hip, eyes hooded but Calum can see a glassy sheen to Luke’s eyes that tell him that he’s feeling mighty good right now.

That sparkle in his eyes, coupled with the low moans emitting from the blond’s mouth has got Calum frantically giving himself a quick squeeze to relieve some pressure.

Taking his finger out of Luke’s mouth, Luke eagerly watches his boyfriend strategically lube his other fingers with the slick split luke provided. Once Covered optimally, in one swift motion, Calum inserts a lubed up pointer finger into Luke’s hole as his mouth grabs a hold of Luke’s dick and swallows him down, sliding his finger in matching the slow pace.

Luke’s eyes are glued to the brunet, mesmerized, as his boyfriend enthusiastically bobs up and down his hardened cock, slick with spit. Calum pops off Luke’s cock and starts jerking him off in a more rapid pace, his fingers gaining speed. Somewhere between Calum playing with Luke’s balls and Luke, he swears to God, moaning out calum’s name when his fingers curve and hit his prostate, calum’s got 3 fingers in luke.

“so…fucking deep” A moan breaks out at the end of his sentence and Luke’s hips jerk up unconsciously, trying to shove his cock into the back of calum’s throat.

Calum’s gagging on it, sloppy sounds emit from the bed that would make anyone blush if heard. Calum loves how Luke’s fully letting himself feel the high and the pleasure of being pleased for once. A silent moan fits on the blond’s lips as he says “I need you, right now, please” It comes out like a breatheless whine towards the end but seeing luke ask for what he wants is turning calum on more than he thought was possible. Calum let’s Luke’s dick slip out of his pink overworked mouth to speak.

“you want my cock in you, pet?” calum’s voice is hoarse and so fucked out it’s the hottest thing Luke’s every heard. Calum takes out his 3 fingers, just to shove them back up to his knuckles as his tongue licks a strip up Luke’s being cock, pre cum spewing from the tip and onto his stomach. Luke’s hazy mind didn’t register the question that was directed towards him until a moment later. Luke’s gaze wanders from his dick up to calum’s moving mouth, and sees his own pre cum is gathered by the side of calum’s left side of his lips. Luke feels himself get impossibly harder at the raunchy sight.

“what?” Luke asks, speech delayed.

“I asked if you’re ready for me now, babe.” Calum sits up, adjusting his seating position so his own erection isn't squished. Luke was so caught up in his own pleasure that he forgot about his boyfriend.

A frown forms on the blond’s lips as he reaches for calum’s bulge. “Baby, I’m sorry I-“ Calum kindly swats Luke’s sloth like hands away before he cuts him off.

“I said that I’ll take care of you tonight, didn’t I? So that’s what I’m gonna do, will you let me?” Calum brings a hand to run through the blond locks in front of him.

Luke nods, so Calum takes his hand out of Luke’s hair, sets it beside his head on the pillow. The other hand jerks himself off a few strokes. Lining up his cock, Calum leans down to kiss Luke as he pushes in slowly, to the hilt.

A low groan escapes from Luke’s mouth as a moan comes out of calum’s as he resists the urge to pull out to pump back in again so early.

“You feeling alright, love?” Calum breathes the words onto Luke’s lips as the blond nods and says “Move.”

Calum wastes no time and pumps into Luke like all the times he’s fantasized about this moment in locker room showers.

Luke’s got his eyes scrunched shut, his legs bouncing around calum’s round hips. Soft “uh uh uh’s” stream out of luke’s pink lips. Luke tightens his legs around Calum, all while he sticks his tongue down calum’s throat, wrapping both hands around calum’s neck, holding him there for a moment.

They kiss fervently, Like tasting himself on calum’s lips. They kiss as if tomorrow will never come and tonight is the last chance to show their love for each other. Calum shifts his hips, circling them in a way that’s got them both moaning a string of curse words at the pleasure.

The sounds of skin slapping on slick skin echo around the walls as the sounds of harry styles’ tune Medicine starts to play.

Here to take my medicine, take my medicine

Treat you like a gentleman

Give me that adrenaline, that adrenaline

I think I’m gonna stick with you

Here to take my medicine, take my medicine

Rest it on your fingertips

Up to your mouth, feeling it out

Feeling it out

Calum swirls his tongue around Luke’s mouth, playing tag with the blond’s active tongue.

I had a few, got drunk on you and now I’m wasted

And when I sleep I’m gonna dream of how you tasted

Calum’s steady rhythm rocks into Luke, a rhythmic thud can be heard as the headboard bangs against the wall.

If you go out tonight, I’m going out ‘cause I know you’re persuasive

You got that something, I got me an appetite, now I can taste it

We’re getting dizzy, oh, we’re getting dizzy, oh

La la la la la

You get me dizzy, oh, you get me dizzy, oh

Luke begins stroking his own cock, his mind muddle by the weed and absolute euphoria he felt running through his veins. Heat began to gather in his stomach as his orgasm began to build.

Tingle running through my bones, fingers to my toes

Tingle running through my bones

The boys and the girls are in

I mess around with him

And I’m okay with it

“Where to do want me to cum?” Calum pants into Luke’s right ear, hips never tiring their movements as they ram into the blond’s hole, skin slapping on skin.

I’m coming down, I figured out I kinda like it

And when I sleep I’m gonna dream of how you ride it

“cum inside me, please cal, I want you to cum inside, I want your load in me god I want it so bad please please please.” Luke sounds so gone, speaking mindlessly, words meshing into the next, slurring speech. Calum pulls back his head and sees that Luke’s already looking at him. His blue eyes are bleary, constantly glancing from side to side, trying to focus on calum’s warm brown ones. Pupils blown, can barely see where the baby blues have gone in the heat of ecstasy. Sweat seeps into the pillow under luke’s head, moisture on his forehead. Curls unruly and matted against his face. Mouth hanging open has he’s pounded by his boyfriend. Luke Hemmings looking like this, fucked out and on the edge of climax, was a sight for calum’s sore eyes only.

If you go out tonight, I’m going out ‘cause I know you’re persuasive

You got that something, I got me an appetite, now I can taste it

We’re getting dizzy, oh, we’re getting dizzy, oh

La la la la la

You get me dizzy, oh, you get me dizzy, oh

I had a few, got drunk on you and now I’m wasted

Luke cums with a shout of calum’s name, eyes scrunched shut as his body spasms with pleasure. He paints his stomach with his spunk, white goop sticky on his stomach and chest. Although he slumps back onto the bed a little bit, he pulls calum’s head down beside his and starts whispering into the brunet’s ear, under the sound of music playing.

If you go out tonight, I’m going out ‘cause I know you’re persuasive

You got that something, I got me an appetite, now I can taste it

We’re getting dizzy, oh, we’re getting dizzy, oh

La la la la la

You get me dizzy, oh, you get me dizzy, oh

“I want you to fill me up, Cal, release your load into me, let me milk you out cal, milk you out with my tight tight hole. I wanna feel you pulse in me cal, Calum, Mmm.” Calum pumps one final time before he buries his face into the crook of Luke’s neck, teeth grabbing onto flex as he cums inside Luke’s hole, teeth biting down momentarily. That’s going to leave a mark. Oops.

As they both come down from their highs, Calum pulls out of Luke slowly. White spunk drip out of Luke’s hole into a small puddle onto the bed sheets.

Luke cuddles into calum’s shoulder, chest rising evenly as it falls with each breath he takes. Minds coming down from their own orgasmic highs.

“Thanks for that. I felt so good. So..loved.” Luke blushes a bit at his remark, then a small grin settles on his lips. He turns around onto his stomach, still lying on Calum. Calum eyes crinkle before he speaks.

“I love you and I want you to know that your light shines brighter than the gold glitter you put on your eyelids before you go on stage. Your light is so unique and irreplaceable. I look forward to loving you more and more each day so please, stay.” Calum annunciates the last word with a soft peck of his lips against the blond’s.

Luke does continue on. Staying by calum’s side, in the band, in the world. He surrounds himself with the loved ones he had once convinced himself that they didn’t love him back. He is well loved by all, especially Calum.

Some days are harder than the others, with Luke bed ridden for days on end. Boxes upon boxes of tissues are used up to soak up at the tears he’s got to shed. Or he’d be numb out of his mind, staring out the bus window, trying to actually See what’s in front of himself and not just noticing it.

Other times, he takes petunia out for walks and works out with Calum and goes to the studio with Ash and plays Mario Kart with Michael.

Luke takes it one day at a time.

#cake hoodings #cake 5sos #cake #luke hemmings #5 seconds of summer #calum hood #self harm #established relationship #smut #drabble #one shot #breakdown #fanfic #RIOMFT

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vlogsquadssquad · 4 years

Text

secure

summary: Charlie puth invites David to a get together where David meets y/n and they hit it off.

a/n: a teensy weensy bit angst but im 100% making a part 2 of this with a happy ending so no worries!!!!!!!!!

warnings: language

mood board:

-- 3RD PERSON DD & CP

“hey what are your plans for Saturday?” Charlie asked David as they finished up a bit for the vlog.

“umm, nothing really. im kind of in a fog right now. why?” David took a bite of his apple.

“well im throwing a small little kickback at my house. a few of my music friends are coming and it might get you some good connections, if you'd like.”

“dude, that's fucking sick! name drop! is Selena Gomez gonna be there?” David asked excitedly.

“no, no, Selena doesn't really do too many social events anymore. she's going through a lot...” David raised his eyebrow as Charlie looked to the ground. “but you know who will be there? y/f/n!”

“shut the fuck up dude are you serious?” Davids heart dropped at the thought of y/n at the party. he's been crushing on her for a bit, and has been dying to meet her.

“yeah, I mean she texted me she would, why are you all giddy?” Charlie punched David on the shoulder playfully, but secretly didn't want David to say he had a crush on her because truth was, so did Charlie. what's not to like? she's humble, kind, funny, easy-going, and down for anything.

“oh, uhh... no reason, just she's a pretty popular singer right now. good clickbait.” David said with nervousness in his voice. he didn't want to admit that he had a crush when he hasn't even met her.

“alright, well ill see you at the kickback then. bring some friends!” Charlie tried not to sound worried or suspicious. he’d have to keep an eye on the two.

-- YOUR POV

I really hate going to parties. but Charlie promised it would be chill and just a way to destress. ive been in a fog with my album im writing. I have great songs but I need two more and im stuck on what to write about. maybe the party will be a good thing.

-texts w - Charles 🤪 -

< should I wear something casual or ?? are we dressing nicer lol

you look great in everything! >

maybe party casual if that's a thing? >

< thought it was a kickback you ass! lol but thanks for the heads up. see you there, Charles! 😉

-end texts-

he hated when i called him Charles but i love messing with him. after careful examining of the clothes i had, i decided to go as I was. it was an easy going outfit but I still looked put together. I had no one to impress anyways.

-- 1st PERSON DD

“dude, im so nervous.” i whispered to Ilya, who knew of my crush.

“its fine man, don't be a pussy.” i took a drink of my water and grabbed my camera to film with Benny Blanco a little he always had something funny or interesting to say.

“Charles!” I heard from the living room. i didn't think anything of it and kept filming with Benny and Jeff. a little while goes by and then Benny looks over my shoulder.

“hey, y/n/n! so good to see you!” i froze. y/n went and gave benny an inviting hug and then turned to me. her eyes were easy to melt into.

“hi, good to see you, im y/n” she went in for a hug. she smelled beautiful.

“oh, hi. im David. big fan.”

“and im Jeff, wow you look so great, can I get you a drink?”

i rolled my eyes at Jeff trying to make a move. of course he's into the same girl I am.

“oh, im ok, I actually don't really like to drink.” she's so kind and gentle as she speaks.

“so how is the album coming?” benny asks her.

“its... not.” she laughs lightly but I can tell she's stressed. is it too early to tell her I already know her inside and out? am I crazy for watching all her interviews, tiktoks, and instagram stories?

“im in a fog,” she looks to the ground. how are we already so compatible? “I want two more songs but im having trouble finding a conclusion to the story im telling. maybe there isn't one, I don't know.”

“what's the story you're trying to tell?” I ask feeling very brave and comfortable already.

“basically my current dating life.” she slightly blushes. “its so hard dating and every time I start to like a guy or I know of him and I already have a crush on him, it doesn't end well. and I have these little romances I write about but they all end in either piggy behavior or ghosting.” we laughed along with her. her smile was radiating.

“maybe I can help, do you wanna go to Charlie’s studio?” Benny asks her.

“you're an angel! yes! ill repay you in food.” she laughs. as they walk out, Im watching her. she moves so flawlessly. “hey, you can come too. might get something good for the vlog.” she smiles to me. my heart is beating out of my chest. she watches my videos or at least knows of me. “cool, thank you.” I say trying to remain calm. she also pulls Charlie in and he drapes his arm around her shoulder. they're just friends.

as we get seated in the room, Benny starts asking her questions. “so, we know what message you're giving but how are you delivering it for the album? what's the feeling? want to play us a song that captures the vibe?”

“well I only have the instrumentals for the songs but I can play one live?”

“great, lets do it.” Charlie smiled to her as he handed her a mic.

“don't post this anywhere, David” she warned.

she brought warmth to my cheeks. “nope, ill only use it as blackmail.”

her laugh was such a gift. I could tell jokes all day just to hear her laugh again.

she played a beautiful song that was slow and powerful and all about heartbreak. it hurt to hear her go through that. then benny asked for another song. this one was more pop. like id hear it on the radio, but still deep.

the rest of the night was them composing songs and some stupid jokes here and there. safe to say she's the most down to earth and funny person in the room. the fans will go crazy that im here with her. im going crazy that im here with her.

-- YOUR POV

I spent the whole night in the studio with some amazing people. I found myself taking it all in and being so thankful for my life. ive known of David and watched his vlogs pretty frequently too, but being with him was a whole different experience. he gave great advice and genuinely helped me through some of my block. he gave a listeners point of view and had fresh ears. it was nice. he even offered to walk me to my car.

“I figured you'd have like a limo waiting for you outside or something.” he joked as we walked toward the street.

“nope, that's just youtubers.” I joked back.

he laughed, “ouch.”

“thank you for your input tonight.” he chuckled. “no, I really mean it. I think I know exactly how I want to end the album.” I look into his eyes as my back is pushed against my car.

“where's your mind at?” he looks back to me.

“loving myself. I know it sounds cliche, but isn't the greatest romance of all, the love you have for yourself? tonight was the most fun ive had, and it was just hanging out with friends talking about endless things.”

he nods as he takes my words in. “you're really secure with yourself. I like that. its going to be a great album.”

he leans in and for a moment I think he's going to kiss me which I don't need right now. then I see his hands go low to the handle of my car door and he opens it for me.

“oh, I can't take a hint, huh?” I joke with him.

“no, not at all. I just know you're excited to go home and write your new hit.” he says almost seriously.

“thank you” I whisper. “and also, can I get your number? id love to do something fun for the vlogs.”

-- DAVIDS POV, NEXT DAY

“il, it couldn't have gone better! she asked for my number, bro!”

“that's fucking sick. imagine you dating one of americas sweetheart, music icons.” Ilya pokes at David.

“its not a fucking joke, I really think there was something there but id really like to get to know her better.”

“who are we talking about?” Charlie asks as he enters the room. David had texted him to meet up for a bit they were doing.

“uh, no one.” im quick to reply knowing they're` great friends and I don't want any drama.

“oh ok... so what'd you think of y/n?” he asks me.

“oh she's great, yeah, I was editing some last night and I think I'll keep some parts in.”

“yeah, she's so easy to be around. I think im gonna ask her out, she's kind of the girl of my dreams, and im like 99% sure she's in love with me too.” he says almost marking his territory.

I look to Ilya and he just half smiles. “oh, that's great man. yeah you should ask her out if you're in love with her. she's a great catch.” my chest falls as I say it aloud. I really thought she liked me.

part 2

#davids vlogs #david dobrik #david dobrik fanfiction #david dobrik imagine #david dobrik x reader #David dobrik fanfic #David dobrik imagines #vlog squad #vlog squad imagines #vlog squad fan fiction #Charlie puth #Charlie puth fanfic #Charlie puth imagine #Charlie puth fan fiction

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babysizedfics · 4 years

Note

I need to know about doctor mama lo taking care of a sick baby Virgil if you would like pretty please. I dont wanna ask on the in character blog cuz I feel like it would be weird to ask for details and lo seems kinda busy anyway lol.

hey tumblebee!! yeah yeah lets do this, Im gonna write it so that ppl who dont follow the other blog can understand too

WARNING IF U HAVENT ALREADY BLOCKED THE TAGS ILLNESS TW AND VOMIT TW THEY ARE VERY PREVALENT IN THIS

also this is a VERY long headcanon!!

so last night vee got ill, he had been regressed in the afternoon with patton and he was acting much more fussy than usual - not being entertained by his cartoons, not having the energy to play with his rattle, pretty much constantly whining and pouting and he gets very wriggly when he's fussy

patton assumed it was because vee had been upset earlier that day. at one point vee started gripping his stomach, and patton assumed its because he was hungry and could smell the food roman was cooking

but when dinner came around no matter how hard patton tried he couldnt get vee to eat a morsel - he kept turning his head away from the food and whining. at one point patton and logan both managed to convince him to eat a spoonful but his face crumpled with a wince and it looked almost painful for him to swallow it. it was at this point logan noticed he had a faint sheen of sweat on his forehead

things fell into place quickly after that - logan checked his temperature and it was indeed slightly higher than was healthy, they noticed vee's hands were trembling and he was constantly on the verge of tears :(

while patton cleared away dinner and excused roman who wanted to go and craft in his room, logan took vee to his bedroom and tried to check for more symptoms, since vee was non verbal and unresponsive totheir questions. he tested his tummy by pushing it a little to see if the pain got worse when he released it (this is a test for appendicitis) but there was no reaction thankfully except vee being upset by logan not cuddling him. he checked his throat for any redness or infection, nothing.

vee's crying became more pronounced and eventually he was in constant tears, occassionally pleading 'mama mama' through sniffles and hiccups and whines of pain :(( Patton brought him a baby bottle of cooled tea made with fresh mint leaves since that is supposed to help stomach pains. though he left the room again since logan thought it was best not to crowd virgil. Vee's crying had dissipated but he was strangely silent and seemed almost loopy now. he only drank a little of the tea before he pushed it away with a gag.

logan immediately took him to the bathroom knowing what was coming, and sure enough vee threw up into the toilet, crying between gags. logan dutifully managed to keep vee in his lap the whole time and held his hair and rubbed his back, telling him he was such a good boy the whole time

Thankfully it didnt last long as there wasnt much in vees stomach to be emptied. he was shivering and sweating and flushed and had lost all energy. he wasnt even crying anymore, just whimpering under his breath. with a bit of a struggle logan managed to show him how to rinse his mouth out with mouthwash - though he had to hold vee over the sink and pat his back to make sure he didnt swallow it

during all of this patton wasnt able to help because of his heightened empathy, if he sees someone throwing up the likeihood is he will too and that wiuldnt be very helpful! so instead he drives to the store to pick up some medicine and ice pops - and comes back with half the store including some actual baby medicine smh - ((im actually begging u to read that linked post i think its so funny))

it was originallly meant to be logans night to put roman to bed but understandably patton took on that task instead. after roman was drifting off patton pokes his head into vee's room. he had hoped to find lo and vee asleep but they werent. they were lying in the dark with an in the night garden audio story playing on a portable speaker and with vees salt lamp and star night light lighting up the room in a soft glow.

logan offered a strained little smile and nod to patton as he stroked vee's hair and cuddled him close. vee was completely out of it honestly. his body was wholly lax against his mama, his lips were in a permanent pout and his eyes were puffy and wet. he barely even acknowledged his papa coming in, his teary eyes just settled on him for a moment then dropped back to the bedsheets without a reaction. he kept lifting his thumb up to suck on it but logan kept capturing it and apologising as he brought it away. Vee shouldnt suck on his thumb and logan doesnt want to give him a paci while he's ill. understandably, baby vee was completely miserable.

patton asks if logan thinks vee could handle a popsicle or plain crackers at the moment but logan disagrees. he doesnt expect either of them to get much sleep so he will make sure vee eats something in a few hours. with a gentle kiss on vee's forehead patton goes off to bed, confident that logan will be able to look after vee and will come get him if theres any issues

logan and vee really dont sleep much at all. Vee drifts off for a few minutes at a time then gasps awake from vivid fever dreams. logan keeps ice cubes in a bowl by the bed for vee to suck on if he needs to cool down and wraps a couple in a flannel to press to vee's head when his fever rises in the middle of the night.

around 3am logan jolts awake and realises he had drifted off. and vee isnt anywhere in the room. he panics momentarily, bolting up from the bed and dashing to the closet to see if virgil is in there - which he tends to do when he is overwhelmed - but then he hears sniffling from the bathroom.

he finds vee, no longer regressed, curled up against the side of the bathtub with his bangs clinging to his sweaty head. vee is the palest person logan knows but he looks positively grey at the moment

'can i help in any way?' he asks, aware that he doesnt need to baby talk at the moment but still eager to look after this bundle of miserableness

virgil just groans under his breath and clutches his knees to his chest. 'i.. i didnt know what to do with the..' he gestures vaguely to something on the floor

logan notices virgil, being not regressed anymore, had obviously wrestled off the diaper he had been changed into the night before and not known how to dispose of it

'its ok, ive got it' logan wraps it up in a bag and puts it in the trash can they have in the room for just this purpose

'sorry.. m stupid' virgil croaks

'You're not stupid.' logan says firmly as he washes his hands 'You're ill and probably delirious from the fever. it's alright virgil'

theres quiet for a bit longer, virge's head pressed against the porcelain edge of the bathtub likely in an attempt to cool his fever. logan stays there with him for a while just waiting. then suddenly virgil starts sobbing and buries his face in his hands.

'sweetheart, tell me whats wrong please' logan hurries to kneel beside him, lifting his hands away from his face. that wouldnt help the fever

'i dont feel well' virgil cries pathetically, tears rolling down his face.

logans heart breaks 'no, you dont. i'm sorry little one, i know its not nice'

at the nickname virgils thumb raises to his lips again, which logan hurriedly intercepts. 'i'll make you a deal, okay? you're allowed to use a pacifier, but you have to use the same one everyday until you are better. we will need to sterilise it every night too.'

vee sniffles and nods, then chokes 'm not a baby right now though'

'that doesnt matter. you dont need to be regressed to want one of your pacis, vee'

vee is unresponsive and starts scratching at his pyjama pants. logan gets a feeling he isnt saying something. then he notices virgil's pout is much more infantile than his adult ones. 'are you feeling little, baby?'

with a harsh shake of his head vee starts crying again. he whispers 'dont wanna be a b...' then cuts himself off and whimpers

logan cards his fingers through virgils damp bangs. he knows what virgils mind has jumped to. 'were you going to say you dont want to be a baby?' he lifts virgils chin up to look at him 'or that you dont want to be a burden?'

virgils pale lip wobbles 'same fing'

'no sweetheart, no no no,' logan sits on the tiles beside vee and pulls him into his lap. virgil goes willingly. logan rocks his baby as he says 'youre always always allowed to be a baby and its never ever going to upset your family. even if you're an adorable wonderful brave baby boy alllll of the time' he scribbles his finger on virgils rosy cheek and delights at the tiny smile it earns him. 'but especially when you're feeling yucky. you feel a bit yucky today dont you, little one?'

vee nods with a pout

'but yknow whats not yucky? softies and pacis and diapers and lots and lots of cuddles with mama' he holds virgil tighter to prove his point. vee sighs and drops his head to nuzzle against his mama's neck. logan feels he still has a slight fever. 'i know what might help you feel less yucky. does my sweet baby want a sweet ice pop?'

thankfully vee nods against his shoulder and grips tight onto his pyjama shirt, preparing for when logan lifts him up

he first makes sure to change vee into another diaper and even decides that he should wear one of mama's t-shirts as a light dress so he doesnt get as overheated by his pyjamas. at this point vee actually giggles for the first time pretty much all day as he feels the tshirt swish lazily around his legs. logan makes a mental note to observe whether little vee might want to try wearing dresses if the feeling sparks this much joy (at this point logan is unaware that vee has secretly been trying skirts and dresses in his room for months, and roman found out a few weeks ago, but vee isnt ready to tell the cgs yet)

by the time vee is in his diaper and mamas tshirt dress and has a paci and jiji clutched to his chest he is a lot calmer and happier. he's still very ill and exhausted and teary, but theres a tiny smile on his face instead of a pout. in the kitchen he picks a strawberry ice pop and it goes down well, logan convinces him to have a cracker too though vee is in such a young headspace by then that he is just sucking on it, which logan supposes is fine too

by the (real) morning vee is still regressed and has managed to have a couple hours undisturbed sleep. its not much but its better than nothing. logan didnt fare much better. by then vee misses his papa and asks for him and logan hands the responsibility over to papa patton, trustinf the other caregiver enough to catch up on a quick power nap himself

but yes, the main thing is vee thought being ill was a burden enough that he shouldnt be regressed too, but logan makes him see that its okay. vee is regressed pretty much the whole time he is ill over the next few days because its stressful and painful and its a lot easier to feel comforted when ur a baby

yeah! gosh that was long, theres probably a billion spelling mistakes! feel free to ask follow up Qs if i missed anything u wanted to know abt this event

#little/big concepts #illness tw #vomit tw #food mention #long post #asks #tumblebee the smol bean

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