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writingonleaves · 3 months

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things you never said (things you'll never say to me) - nico hischier

pairing: nico hischier x original female character

warnings: swearing, sadness, angst, not my traditional fluff folks, very little dialogue, kinda a ramble disguised into a piece lol, google translated german, projection?? is that a valid warning

inspired by + title: "things i wish you said" by sabrina carpenter

word count: 2.8k

author's note: got into my feels randomly for this (incredible) song and decided to write something with it. also a part of @wyattjohnston 's lowkey loverfest 2k24!! hope you all enjoy this melancholy ride and please let me know what you think <3

*****

Nico Hischier has always been a leader.

You ask anyone in Naters or Bern who knew him growing up and they would say the same thing — he’s a polite, young boy with so much talent and a sensible mind. He may be the youngest of three, but everyone’s always turned to Nico for guidance. With a calming voice paired with a warm smile, it’s rare for Nico to steer anyone wrong.

And he sees it in himself too. Even when he was a rookie, when the C stitched into his jersey was only a blurred dream, he still felt like he had to lead by example. No one was expecting that of him, he knows that now, but he was a first overall pick, the weight of a losing team’s hopes on his shoulders. If he crumbled, those supporters’ hopes fell with him. His own hope would fall with him.

It took a few years, a pandemic, another first overall pick, a shit ton of roster changes, a new coach and other things to walk into a locker room that wasn’t used to losing. And Nico prides himself as being a leader in that transition. C on his jersey or not, he would’ve done it. Because he doesn’t know how not to.

Leanna always said he didn’t know how to turn it off.

When Nico had first met Leanna Spritz, it honestly was one of the worst first impressions he’s ever given. It was the morning after a brutal 6-1 loss against the fucking Flyers. The final score itself was bad, but the fact that it was against the Flyers rubbed more salt into the wound. He knew Lindy was gonna bag skate them all to hell and back the morning after and he just really wanted his cappuccino before to take away some of the bitterness.

All up in his head, he had crashed literally into Leanna. Before they both could comprehend, her cold brew had spilled. Somehow, Nico got away with an unnoticeable splash on his hoodie and no spillage from his own drink. But Leanna wasn’t so lucky. Her brown sweater wasn’t dark enough to hide the fact that half of her cold brew was on it while the other spilled to the ground.

“Fuck,” Nico had exclaimed, eyes widening and darting between her now coffee stained sweater, the empty cup on the ground and her red hair that only glistened with the sun rays. “Shit! I am so sorry. That’s totally my fault.”

Leanna had waved him away with a small chuckle as she dug into her purse for stray napkins. Far too nice for someone who now had coffee all over them because of him. “It’s okay. Mistakes happen.”

Nico looked at his watch and grimaced. Shit. He was going to be late to practice. And that would be even worse than usual with their horrible performance the night before. “Listen. I really want to buy you a coffee to make up for my clumsiness, but I’m gonna be late to work and-”

Leanna had nodded in understanding, lips quirked up. “Don’t worry about it. Promise. Go. Don’t be late for work.”

He had been so frazzled that all he remembered doing was blurting out another apology before practically running away, partially from embarrassment but also because he really did have to go.

A week later, Nico went back to the coffee shop. In the back of his mind was the redhead who he still owed a coffee to. But Nico’s also realistic and he knew he’d probably never see her again.

While he was patiently waiting in the long line, he felt a tap on his shoulder. He braced himself to interact with a fan, but turned around and was pleasantly surprised by who he did see.

“I thought that was you,” she had said, pink beanie over her hair and a twinkle in her eye. “Not going to spill coffee again on me, are you? I’m wearing white today.”

Nico swallowed before his brain turned back on and he grinned. “Good eye. And no. I promise I’ll be less clumsy today. And I’m less in a rush.” They were next in line to order and he ordered first before turning to her. She had tried to deny him but he just raised an eyebrow until she gave the barista her order.

“I’m really sorry again,” Nico said as they had shuffled out of line to wait for their drinks. “I hope the sweater didn’t stain.”

Leanna waved him off with her bright smile. “That sweater has been through too much for some coffee to ruin it. You don’t need to worry, Captain.”

Nico had been shocked that she knew who he was, which, in hindsight, is dumb. He’s not Jack, but he gets recognized a good amount around New Jersey still.

He cleared his throat. “Nico is fine.”

She smiled. “Okay, Nico. Well, I’m Leanna. Thank you for paying for my coffee. You didn’t have to, by the way, especially to clear your conscience.”

“That’s not why-well, it is. But I also, uh, are you in a rush?”

Nico remembers that day so well still, his English failing him despite living in North America for over five years as he basically asked Leanna on their first date right there and then. He remembers being thankful that she took some pity on him with her sweet smile and led them to a table. He probably would’ve stood there stuttering like a fool if she didn’t cut in.

“Nico?”

Nico blinks himself out of his memories as Jack walks into his living room. Sometimes he questions if he should’ve given Jack a key.

“Hey. What’s up?”

“We have skate,” Jack gives him a look. “Dude, take a shower. Quickly. Or we’ll be late.”

“Right,” Nico says, stumbling over to the shower. As the water’s warming up, his eyes stop at a purple bottle tucked in the corner of the sink. Hair oil. Leanna always joked that she couldn’t live without it. His hands twitch to reach for the bottle just so he can smell the grapefruit scent, but he forces himself into the shower instead.

He can hear Nina’s voice so clearly. Throw it away, she’d say in their mother-tongue that realistically Nico will never not be fluent in but sometimes is scared will slip away. Nina liked Leanna a lot, actually, the one time they met when she came to Jersey to visit last year. But Nina is also Nico’s sister, and cursed her name many times when Nico called her crying, waking her up in the middle of the night. She had stayed on the phone with him for three hours, letting him cry.

He forces himself to take a shower. To wake up a bit and shift his focus to the upcoming skate and game tonight. They’re playing the Rangers, which is just always a grind. He needs to be all in.

Nico keeps to himself while getting ready for practice, putting on his gear quietly while his teammates chatter about something or another around him. He speaks quickly to the equipment team about his skates and smiles in thanks. He catches a whiff of the perfume of their head of PR as she walks past in the hallway, and Nico swallows.

Realistically, he knows it’s not the same one. But it’s floral and smells like jasmine, so it might as well be.

As he’s driving home, he has the radio down low. He was never the one to fuss about putting his music on in the car. Because the world just works like that, a song that he doesn’t know the title to comes on. He hums along, because Leanna always played this song.

Instinctively, his fingers twitch to reach out to someone who won’t ever be in his passenger seat ever again. He can hear her voice, her thigh under his palm. It’s not safe to drive with one hand, she’d say with an amused laugh interlaced in her voice. He would always roll his eyes before giving her thigh a squeeze and keeping his hand there for the majority of their journey.

He remembers that sentence bringing him comfort when they were driving to her sister’s house in upstate New York. He was scared shitless to meet her whole family for the first time to celebrate her cousin’s birthday. It was below freezing point outside, but his hands were so clammy that one would’ve thought it was summer.

Leanna had put her hand in his hair at the nape of his neck. He had immediately calmed down.

He swears if he focuses hard enough he can still smell the green tea shampoo Leanna used. It was always interesting to him, because the first thing he would think of when he saw her flaming red hair wasn’t green tea. It deserved something more bold attached to it. Like orange. Or vanilla. Or coconut.

Because Leanna was exactly that. Bold. Bright. Crashing into the lives of everyone in her path with her bright smile, loud laughter and a personality that sucked you in.

Nico stops at a red light and absentmindedly looks to the right. His breath catches at the sight of a woman walking a beagle. Leanna always said that once she was more settled down, a beagle was the kind of dog she wanted to get, just like the dog she had by her side throughout her whole childhood.

At one point, Nico had thought she meant settling down in Jersey. Never did she give the indication while they were together that she had meant London.

He couldn’t force himself to unfollow Leanna on Instagram after the break-up. He catches himself way too often seeing if she still follows him. She does. And she even likes his posts most of the time. He checks.

Nico shouldn’t be surprised. Even though she cried so much when they broke up and he couldn’t handle it, through tears, she wished him nothing but the best. Even as she was actively breaking his heart.

As he pulls into the parking garage for his apartment complex, he kills the engine and just sits there. He should be focusing on the game tonight. Focusing on how they need to stop taking stupid penalties. Focusing on their positioning in the offensive zone.

You think too much, honey. Leanna would say, kissing his forehead twice, something she started doing to calm him down. You just need to play hockey. Least that’s what you always tell me. Everything else will follow.

And he would never admit it out loud — especially to Jonas — but he still repeats those words in his head. He’s not sure if it works, but it’s like a mantra. A routine. And hockey players know more than anyone how important routines are and how difficult they are to change.

It’s been two months and three days. It’s annoying that Nico can still hear her voice in his head, clear as day. He hopes one day he’lll never be able to remember. But he also dreads the day that he’ll forget what she sounds like.

He walks up into his apartment and pours out a glass of water, downing it in one go. The sun’s out for the first time in two weeks, and a small smile spills on his lips as he admires the sunlight through his glass windows. His eyes shift to a spot on one of the tables by the window on the right, where it seems like something is shining. His curiosity takes over and he walks over, a reminder popping into his brain that he needs to dust his apartment. Why does dust accumulate so quickly anyways?

His stomach drops. One of her combs placed nonchalantly behind one of his plants. The shine is coming from the light hitting the red hair caught between the bristles.

What the fuck?

Nico closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before hastily grabbing the comb and tossing it into the trash. She never officially moved in with him, but she was around the apartment enough to leave some things lying around here and there. He thought he had thrown everything out. Or more accurately, he trusted Jesper, Timo and Jack to do it for him during a particularly bad Saturday afternoon two weeks after everything fell to shit.

He checks the time and sighs. He needs to nap or else everything will be thrown off. Checking his phone to make sure no one needs him, he plugs it in to charge by his bedside, ignoring a text from Nina he’ll answer when he wakes up.

It’s a text she sends a few times a week when she senses that her younger brother’s having a harder day. From almost 4,000 miles, she still knows. Nico’s always loved his sister, but he’s never felt more grateful to have her as he has in these last few months.

eins zu zehn?? ❤️

One to ten, it translates to. On a scale of one to ten, how shitty or good are you feeling about it today?

Nico sighs, responds back with a 6, and wills his mind to rest.

Somehow, he wakes up decently well rested to his alarm. He stays in bed a few extra minutes, getting his mindset ready for gametime. He chooses to wear the gray three piece suit tonight. One of his more fancier fits. It is the Rangers, after all.

It was Leanna’s favorite suit of his. She always joked he “ruined the look” when he slapped on his beloved white beanie. I love your hair. I wish you’d show it off more, she’d say.

He digs out the beanie from his clean laundry.

He always leaves an hour or so to himself before he has to go to the rink. He usually spends it tidying up or doing things around his place to clear his head so he can come back after the game and just crash.

Today, he replays the breakup in his mind. Or what he remembers of it, since he blocked a lot of it out.

When you picture your future, do you see me in it at all? He had choked out, holding Leanna’s hands in his for what was the last time.

It hadn’t helped that she had also been crying as she said her next words. Neeks, baby. It’s not you, it’s me. And I hate that I’m pulling that out, but it’s true. Maybe this isn’t the right time for us.

Why can’t it be? Nico had said. Why can’t we make it work?

Maybe in the future, if things are different. She had said, biting her trembling lip. But even then, Nico knew they were empty promises. She’s too stubborn of a person to not bend the world her way. She just doesn’t want Nico to be a part of that world.

It’s not fair, he knows that realistically, but oftentimes he wonders if she ever loved him at all. That thought especially rode his mind after he saw her post a story on Instagram earlier last week. It was clearly a soft launch, with her hand in the hand of some faceless guy over dinner. Nico ended up scoring two goals that night out of sheer adrenaline and anger.

Because all he’s ever wanted was for Leanna Spritz to be happy. Even now. Even after all of this. Even if it’s not with him.

But fuck, she’s clearly moving on. Why can’t he?

He blinks, collapsing on his couch in the living room and staring at the wall. The last time he heard from her was a month ago, when he had gone down after a rough hit during a game against Minnesota. He ended up only being out for the next two games, but the hit hadn’t been pretty. His chest had taken the brunt of the damage. Everyone, including him, had been relieved that it wasn't more serious.

While he was getting checked out by the trainers the next morning, his phone had buzzed and he almost threw up.

Leanna Spritz✨

I saw the hit last night. Hope you’re okay. Listen to the trainers.

Nico was angry. What right did she have to text him that?

But then, he just felt sad. That bottomless pit in his stomach opened up. He felt nothing but emptiness.

His phone buzzes, this time with a text from Timo, and Nico takes a deep breath. It’s game time. No more crying over his ex-girlfriend.

As he’s sliding on his beanie in the bathroom, he catches sight of the hair oil again. He picks it up, smells it, before throwing it in the trash. It lands on the bottom of the can with a final thud. He clicks all the lights off, makes sure he has everything he needs, grabs his key off the hook and shuts the door.

Two hours later, everyone’s getting hyped up. He gives a mini impromptu speech, Jack slaps his back way too hard and Nico smiles, dimples and all.

He takes a deep breath before his blades touch the ice.

#lowkey loverfest 2k24 #k writes #hockey fanfic #hockey writing #hockey blurb #nico hischier #new jersey devils #nico hischier fic #nico hischier blurb #nico hischier writing #nhl #nhl writing #nhl fic #nhl blurb #nico hischier x oc

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twst-rose-prisms · 4 days

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Twst boys and their respective Vocaloid songs

As the title said, I've been wanting to assign some Vocaloid songs for the twst characters as there are quite a lot of songs that specifically fit them! I'll include some lyrics part as of why I think it fits along with a small analysis + song link! I'm letting my Vocaloid braincells taking over this time hehe 🌹❤️

Shout out to my bestie @twst-megane for helping me out a bunch once again!!

Characters: All NRC students Warning: Some of these songs contain angsty/dark themes or imply self-harm, however it's nothing too much as that's the nature of Vocaloid songs in general and I recommend you checking them out if you guys can!

Part 1 | Part 2

🌹 Heartslabyul 🌹

Riddle: Bitter Choco Decoration

Pretty self-explanatory from the lyrics if you remember Riddle’s backstory with his strict, controlling mother. His entire life up until he became a student has been under his mom’s influence and it ended up him being too strict even to himself and his emotions - just like the meaning of the song too.

“Bitter choco decoration I long for the ideal that everyone wishes for Bitter choco decoration I reduce my individuality and my emotions to ashes Bitter choco decoration Kill your desires and ego, and bury them all underground Bitter choco decoration I've finally grown up, mama” “Surely, tomorrow, and the days after This hell will continue on and on. Alas, so please, just for now Let me keep the feelings I had when I was but a child And be the naked me.”

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Ace: Lost One’s Weeping

Being a rebellious person, I’m thinking this song fits Ace the most as it’s about questioning the flawed system, questioning one’s being and purpose and that if we have to keep living under some sort of authority for the rest of our life. As you can already see how he acts in Book 1 towards Riddle - defying authority, questioning it, and being rebellious about it.

“Can you say the formula for area ratio? Can you say the dreams of your childhood? Who threw those dreams in a ditch? Hey, who was it? You know who it was! When are you going to grow up!? What is a grown-up anyway? Do you know who has the answers? Hey, what should I do? I don't care anymore!”

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Deuce: RAD DOGS

I picked this song for Deuce because of the lyrics, but also the beat and the meaning. The strong, powerful beat with the fast rap part really fit him don’t you think? The lyrics speaks of the struggle of going against the grain and choosing a life of freedom, although it comes with an effort and the ability to face everything life throws at us. We need to take a leap of faith and not settle for anything less than what we truly want, emphasizes the importance of taking a risk and restarting, not worrying about the reason or justifications for doing so, just like how Deuce acts in general with his goal and dream.

"My unseen devotion, sympathy that I don’t feel, and all the things that I can't have What kind of story? Whose story is it? If you don't have something, you'll start to want it, isn’t that right?" "Now, I’ve decided to restart for the first time Just saying “I want to be like you” is all you need, right? Not knowing the reason why, not needing the reason why I'm defying against fate’s rules" "Now, I’ve decided to restart and burst out Just saying “I want to see it” is all you need, right? Let that groovy sound beat, let me hear that heartbeat Since there’s no time to just stand still" "With the tailwind blowing Alright, we keep going forward without looking back"

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Trey: Ai no Material

Trey gives me a melancholic, casual and mature vibe, like an older brother who you can depend on anytime and he would give you his usual smile. That’s why I picked this song for him, although he always helps out everyone but I feel like he can be lonely sometimes, like perhaps he would need a helping hand or maybe some support. When I read the lyrics I think of him! I want to interpret it as Heartslabyul to Trey, who’s been always working hard for the dorm, and it’s the message that he might want to hear the most!

"(Jump into tomorrow!) It seems that the stars will fall down. (Always) You wear a sparkling smile. (With a smile) But even if it's hard, you hide the pain away, (Want to meet you) and without showing it, you just laughed." "I always want to smile, after all. It's not hard, so I'm going to try harder! I wonder if I've been embracing such a lie tightly, And kept walking all this time." "Fly up more, higher and higher. If it's you, you can do it with a smile. But it's okay even if it's just a little bit, It's okay to quietly depend on me too." "Words like "I'm alright" or saying "I'm okay", While showing your usual smile. I understand those lies you utter, And that's why I tug on your hand."

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Cater: Phony

I know it might sound like it doesn’t fit him but in my opinion, this song sums up Cater as a character. We haven’t seen much of him in actual depth, but I definitely think he has more than he just appears. This song talks about how a person can mask and deceive themselves in lies, they’re aware of it, but they have to put it up in order to meet societal expectations. A constructed image or persona - the “fake” that they created and now they struggle to reconcile with their true self, and I think he is like that as well. (Aniplex please more Cater content for us we're waiting-)

“There’s no flower in this world more beautiful than an artificial one That’s because everything is manufactured from lies Antipathy world” “The rain of despair pelts my umbrella and Dampens my bangs and the hidden side of my heart Oh, it’s all so troublesome” “Before I knew it, the words had already withered The fruit of the truth is ripening within me Painting lies upon the mirror’s reflection, a “makeup” of the loss of oneself” “Before I knew it, the mimicked cries joined the unpleasant chorus Their eyes, leery, are dissolving you I am missing from the mirror’s reflection. There is only a “fake” that everyone mistook for someone else”

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🦁 Savanaclaw 🦁

Leona: Meltdown

The song is about one wanting to disappear, wanting to kill their old self and erase everything as if it’s like falling asleep. Though I think this song can be interpreted as having depression - and from what we see going on with Leona, I feel like he does show signs of it, I wish they would dive deeper into his story in Book 2 though! Other than that, I feel like the lyrics in here suit him a lot, especially the “sleep” part in the lyrics.

“I'm like a lighter out of fluid My insides are on fire Sometimes I wish It was all a lie” “I want to jump into the core My memories would melt into brilliant whiteness and disappear If I could jump into the core I feel like I’d be able to sleep again like I used to” “If I jumped into the core I'd vanish, like I had gone to sleep A morning without me Would be perfect All the gears meshing together That's how the world would be”

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Jack: Night Sky Patrol of Tomorrow

I think this song fits Jack a lot, the vibe is definitely for him but also the lyrics as well. The headstrong vibe, full of uncertainty but also full of hope for tomorrow, despite feeling hopeless at times but what is important is never give up and head forward to the future. The song’s meaning is to convey resilience, independence, and the importance of cherishing the present moment even when you’re uncertain about some things. You could also take this as a JackMC song haha, It just fits him a lot imo!

“I'm a boy who picks out his enemies to fight, Depending on whatever suits my mood. No hopes for the future, I wanted to be drawn in a dream." "And yet I fear the future, Hating tomorrow, wishing towards the past. There's no longer anything I can do, so I shout, "Tomorrow, tomorrow, please, don't come!" "If you want it, then make it come true yourself." Eh... You said that..." "I think about what I want, To go see you again tomorrow night. But I don't know, maybe you won't be there, But even so, we will always be one." "So, see you later, Sky Arrow, let's smile on! I want to be together with you in the future, However short our time may be, so I'll shout out, "Remember this day someday in the future, whoever we are then..."

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Ruggie: Moonlight

This song fits Ruggie a lot in terms of lyrics, with numerous mentions of rags and junk and collecting them together to the longing of being your own self instead of being in someone else’s shadow and chasing after them. The singer compares themselves to a piece of junk or trash as they think of themselves lowly, just like Ruggie himself. The mention of moonlight here represents the singer’s ideal that they always chase after, like Ruggie’s life goal. Overall, the vibe of the song fit him a lot! (I recommend checking out the Vivid Bad Squad version too!)

“A collection of junk, Covered with a piece of rag, A replica in a hideous shape Words spun by someone else, Tones played by someone else, A fake made by a distorted collage of them” “Even being junks, even a piece of rag In the blood pumped from its heart There was only my own anger In the end, there must be nothing left Love, spun songs, and my name will one day fade away I wonder why? It's stuck in the back of my chest, A loneliness similar to the silence of a winter night” “Whether or not I'm a fake, Looking back now, there was only Those blurred memories” “The irony of being a waste, I'm trying to get out of the cliché, but "Another rehash of someone else’s work?" "Is even your identity a trick?" "Do you want love, even if you have to steal it?" “Even being junks, even a piece of rag After following the never ending dream I'll find my own light, all the way”

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🐚 Octavinelle 🐚

Azul: Delusion Tax

In my opinion, this is the most fitting song I could think of for Azul. As said in the lyrics, we all have desires of our own, and the person (or in this case Miku) in this song is a genie that can grant any wishes, but in the end everything come with a price, anyone who make a wish with her will have to sell a part of themselves. Sounds just like Azul and his contracts don’t you think? But you can also think this reflects Azul’s own desires once you know his backstory too! (and also, check out this amazing art by my bestie! Her art is amazing!!)

“Turning wishes into reality Right now, buy back your future! Afflicted by so badly wanting to do “that”, consumed by desire Come now, let’s go beyond all this pain” “Existing for your sake alone, mandatory affections and obligated kindness Though you should be satisfied, a voice from within shouts “NO!” We have an idiot on our hands, it seems…” “None of it will come true if you don't pay the price Look, just up and borrow the "desired amount" Reality is a bitter-sweet pill to swallow Come now, let’s go beyond all this pain” “That which you wish for, the person you think of, The past which you hate as well, they’ll all be as you like. The kind of face and chest you desire, they’ll be granted if you pay. “It’s a promise”

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Jade: SHANTI

I feel like the song is pretty self-explanatory, as you can see with the lyrics. It just fits Jade’s job and his approach to the “targets” and lure them into signing a contract with Azul, but it’s probably just more than the said goal… But you can never tell with that smile of his as his “kind” words accompany his looks. Until you realized you fell into the trap and become one of Azul’s underlings due to the contract (at least, until post-Book 3, but who knows)

“Hey, young man who’s hanging his head Did something bad happen? If you’re fine with me, do you wanna talk about it? I can help you What in the world happened? That sounds terrible, brother I'll give you this, so cheer up, ok You can pay me back next time” “So you came again tonight Was it to your liking? The fee is this much Huh? Huh? Huh? So you can’t pay Then it can’t be helped I’ve got the perfect job for you, so come and follow me”

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Floyd: Matryoshka

A chaotic, addictive rock song that is very fitting for Floyd. Why though? According to the wiki “Most of the lyrics are nonsensically vague or ridiculous, with a slight hint of pain or sadness, giving the overall song a crazy and psychotic feeling. Therefore, the lyrics have been interpreted in various ways.” Just like the moody guy himself, don’t you think?

“My headache is singing about a package The clock's hand is stuck at 4 o'clock No one would tell me why But the world has begun to rotate in reverse” “Ah, would you please dance even more? Kalinka? Malinka? Just play the strings" "What should I do with these kinds of emotions? Won't you please tell me? The signal reception is good, 5-2-4! Freud? Keloid? Just hit the keys Let's just laugh everything off Hurry up and dance, you group of fools!" "Together let's clap our childish hands To this intentionally deranged rhythm Surely, I couldn't care less about everything The world's temperature is beginning to melt”

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#twisted wonderland #twst #disney twst #twst wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #vocaloid #riddle rosehearts #ace trapola #deuce spade #trey clover #cater diamond #leona kingscholar #ruggie bucchi #jack howl #azul ashengrotto #floyd leech #jade leech #vocaloid music

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fandomtrashhh · 1 year

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Updated for Episode 12

So I did a thing. I went back to every episode of The Winchesters and I wrote down everything that Dean has said so far, and I realized moreso than before how EVERYTHING he says not only is the lesson/theme of the episode, but it all also applies to himself. Also, I'm not sure if other people realize this because not everyone is into classic rock as I am, (many of the songs are rock songs) but all the songs also match what the episodes are about. Let's start with episode 1.

Sorry if I overlooked something or for any mistakes, I did not rewatch every episode to make this.

I also apologize for how long this is. If I knew how to add the "read more" on this post I totally would.

Major spoilers for all episodes of the Winchesters ahead!!!

Episode 1, "Pilot": March 3rd, 1972. The day Dad came home from the war, and the day he met Mom. Now I know this story might sound familiar, but I'm gonna put the pieces together in a way that just might surprise you. And in order to do that, I have to start all the way at the beginning.

Obviously, Dean is just starting the story. He tells us this is when John and Mary are going to meet, and he's also foreshadowing what's to come. This is why I have high hopes for this show, because Dean says so in the beginning that even though you think you might know everything, there's really more to the story.

Dean also narrated at the very end of the episode:

What they didn't know is that the Akrida weren't just a threat to Earth, but to all of existence. Now, like I told you, there's gonna be some surprises. Hell, I'm still trying to find all the puzzle pieces myself. But I'll explain everything. And until then, I'll keep picking the music.

Also something to note is that this is the only episode that has a non music related title. I'm 100% sure that if it did have a song related title, it would be "I'd Love to Change the World" by Ten Years After. The beginning, when Dean is first narrating and while John is holding the letter that Dean gave him and pretty much up to the point where John and Mary run into each other, that song is playing. Then at the very end of the episode, when we see Dean in the flesh, it's playing again. I find this VERY interesting, especially since the music applies to everything in this show. This leads me to believe that Dean really is trying to change something because the song literally says "I'd love to change the world, but I don't know what to do, so I'll leave it up to you." (The song also mentions bees, which I thought was interesting. That could be nothing, though.)

Episode 2 "Teach Your Children Well": The ties that bind a family together can be complicated. Parents raise you, teach you what's right and wrong, and in some instances, how to kill monsters. But no matter who you are, there comes a time when you have to break from them and make your own way. And if you're not careful, things can get pretty ugly.

“Teach Your Children Well” by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young. Let me show you some of the lyrics:

“You, who are on the road

Must have a code that you can live by

And so, become yourself

Because the past is just a goodbye

Teach your children well

Their father's hell did slowly go by

And feed them on your dreams

The one they pick's the one you'll know by

Don't you ever ask them, "Why?"

If they told you, you would cry

So just look at them and sigh

And know they love you”

A big theme in this episode is parents, the guy who goes missing at the beginning for one, but mostly about John’s parents. John and Millie argue over John hunting and all around the episode is about kids forging their own paths and how it can cause issues which I feel like can definitely apply to Dean and how he discovers his identity away from his father and how the things his father put them through were wrong and how that caused issues.

Episode 3 "You’re Lost Little Girl": There's no map to being a hunter. No playbook. You gotta follow your gut. But that can only take you so far. Truth is, you can't do it all on your own. You need other people to help guide the way-- your friends, your family. Otherwise you just end up lost.

“You’re Lost Little Girl” is by The Doors. Some lyrics:

“You're lost little girl

You're lost little girl

You're lost, tell me who

Are you?

Think that you know what to do

Impossible? Yes, but it's true

I think that you know what to do

Yeah

Sure that you know what to do”

In this episode, Mary gets taken by a monster and everyone is trying to find her. Mary thinks that she doesn’t need anyone to help her because she’s a good hunter, but she ends up needing them to save her. It’s the same with Dean, Dean is an amazing hunter, but he still needs his friends and his family.

Episode 4, "Masters of War": Fighting the battle between good and evil isn't easy, especially when the first monster you have to face is the one inside yourself.

“Masters of War” is by Bob Dylan.

The lyrics for this song are very meaningful and well done. To put it simply, it’s about war and criticism of war.

“You fasten all the triggers

For the others to fire

Then you sit back and watch

When the death count gets higher

You hide in your mansion

While the young people's blood

Flows out of their bodies

And is buried in the mud”

In this episode, John and Carlos talk about their trauma from the Vietnam War and we really get an insight to how much anger John has in him. John is Dean’s parallel in this episode because Dean has a lot of unresolved trauma and deep rooted anger that is mentioned in Supernatural and it also fits because Dean was used as a weapon in a war against the supernatural from a young age.

Episode 5, "Legacy of a Mind": Spending a lifetime of hunting monsters takes its toll. There comes a time when you gotta let out that pain inside you. If you don't, it'll eat you alive.

The song “Legacy of a Mind” is by The Moody Blues

“He'll fly his astral plane

Takes you trips around the bay

Brings you back the same day”

This can be applied to what happens in this episode where Mary is stuck in her own head and has to face her trauma, and this song pretty much talks about trippy things like the lyrics above.

This applies so well to the episode because this episode deals with the complicated relationship that Mary has with her parents and her dealing with the trauma she has with being trained to be a hunter from a very young age and how it was wrong of them to do that to her, but she still loves her parents. This also applies to Dean, since John taught him about hunting from a young age, the same way Samuel and Deanna did to Mary. Mary is once again the Dean parallel, like she often is in this show.

Episode 6 "Art of Dying": Hunting has a way of changing a person. After a while, right, wrong, good, evil, they all start to look the same. And then it makes you start to wonder, "Who's really the monster here -- them or me?"

This is the only other episode where Dean narrated at the end:

Hunting's not for everyone. You have to be strong, stay sharp, make tough decisions, and it's not easy, but then again, the righteous things never are.

The Art of Dying is by George Harrison:

"There'll come a time when all of us must leave here

Then nothing sister Mary can do

Will keep me here with you

As nothing in this life that I've been trying

Could equal or surpass the art of dying

Do you believe me?"

and then the end of the song goes:

"There'll come a time when most of us return here

Brought back by our desire to be

A perfect entity

Living through a million years of crying

Until you've realized the art of dying

Do you believe me?"

This episode the core four finds a case involving an older hunter buddy of Mary's and it turns out that the monster is the ghost of the hunter's friend who the hunter friend and her group killed because he went too dark in magic. That's how the episode applies to Dean's monologue, along with Lata's fear of turning into someone horrible and letting her anger control her. John also (kinda) confronts his anger in this episode. The monologue also talks about how being a hunter is hard, but doing the right thing never is, which also applies to the characters of this episode, especially Lata. This applies to Dean because he really dealt with feelings like that during SPN, and being angry all the time and feeling like he was a monster, and how he always chooses to do the right thing when it comes down to saving the world, even when it's near impossible to.

Episode 7 "Reflections": There comes a time in every hunt when the fightin' starts. And the difference between winning and losing isn't whether you have the holy water, the wooden stake, or the silver bullet. It's whether you've got the grit to get the job done.

Reflections is by the Supremes:

"Through the mirror of my mind

Through all these tears that I'm crying

Reflects a hurt I can't control

Although you're gone

I keep holding on

To those happy times

Oh, girl when you were mine

As I peer through the windows

Of lost time

Keeping looking over my yesterdays

And all the love I gave all in vain

(All the love) All the love

That I've wasted

(All the tears) All the tears

That I've tasted

All in vain

Through the hollow of my tears

I see a dream that's lost

From the hurt baby

That you have caused"

I think this one represents loss, especially the loss of Henry. Dean's monologue ties into this because in this episode there are multiple instances where the characters show real strength and bravery in order to come out the other side with a win. And this can obviously be applied to Dean and everything he has done and hunted and how brave he had to be to be able to actually get the job done.

Episode 8, "Hang on to Your Life”: Being a hunter, it means living a life of sacrifice-- not a lot of room for dreams. But if you open your heart and get a little lucky, you'll find you gain more than you lose.

Hang On To Your Life is by Guess Who:

“Thinking 'bout it's here and it's real

Wondering how I really should feel

Well you can sell your soul

But don't you sell it too cheap

Hang on to your life, oh life, oh life, oh life, oh life

Hang on to your life

Thinking 'bout betraying a friend

Thinking 'bout delaying the end

Well you can ride the wind

But don't you ride it too high”

This episode is about Carlos’ dream of being a musician and how he had to give that up when he became a hunter. The parts about selling his soul and betraying a friend applies to the band member that Carlos used to play with and how he accidentally made a deal and because he “betrayed” Carlos by selling him out to Loki.

Dean’s monologue applies to the theme of found family in this episode. Even though they’re all a part of this life and had to give up their dreams, there is good that came from it in the form of family and friends, the same way that Dean found himself a family in the midst of it all. This is also the episode where John and Mary decided to get together, again proving that they can find something worthwhile, right before they found the picture of Dean. (Insert Miranda Cosgrove meme)

Episode 9 "Cast Your Fate to the Wind": This isn't how I saw things going when I pushed over that first domino. Thing is, I've had more than a few dances with free will and fate, but as my dad used to say, "Fate is what you make it."

The song here is actually a song that I didn’t know. It’s a jazz song by Vince Guaraldi. Honestly, reading the lyrics to this song make me think SO MUCH of John and who he becomes, and I’m actually going to put in the entire lyrics because I can’t chose one section that I feel is most important:

“A month of nights, a year of days

Octobers drifting into Mays

I set my sail when the tide comes in

And I just cast my fate to the wind

I shift my course along the breeze

Won't sail up wind on memories

The empty sky is my best friend

And I just cast my fate to the wind

That time has a way of changing a man throughout the years

And now I’m rearranging my life through all my tears

Alone, alone, alone

There never was, there couldn't be

A place in time for men like me

Who'd drink the dark and laugh at day

And let their wildest dreams blow away

That time has a way of changing a man throughout the years

And now I’m rearranging my life through all my tears

Alone, alone, alone

So now I’m old, I’m wise, I’m smart

I’m just a man with half a heart

I wonder how it might have been

Had I not cast my fate to the wind

To the wind, to the wind”

Like, come on. This is so John coded in who he becomes and what happens to him. In terms of how this song applies to the episode though, it applies to the theme of fate throughout the episode, which ties in with what Dean says at the beginning. “Fate is what you make it.” This speaks true to John in this episode because he uses the knowledge of his death to his advantage and makes his own fate, which Millie uses the “fate is what you make it” line. I find this episode very interesting because they use the theme of fate in an episode that deals with vampires, and has a whole scene that parallels 15x18 AND Carlos gets to kiss his male love interest. Dean’s monologue at the beginning applies to himself because he’s dealt with fate and free will plenty of times in Supernatural.

I also find it interesting that Dean said that this isn't how he saw things going when he pushed over that first domino, which begs the question of what did he expect? What was his goal in doing all of this? It's also worth noting that immediately after he says that he says "fate is what you make it," saying the two apply to each other, go hand in hand. I don't think it's a stretch to say that whatever his intentions were, whatever he did, had to do with controlling his own fate.

So, just to recap: in an episode where the two main characters are dealing with being in a new relationship and whether or not they want to tell people, one of those main characters dies from a vampire in a direct parallel to the 15x18 confession, and two men have an on screen kiss for the first time, and the entire theme of the episode is fate. That's VERY interesting to me.

Episode 10 "Suspicious Minds": Hunting and happy endings don't usually mix, so when you get your chance, you got to ask yourself, "How far will I go to get it?"

This can be read as a direct tie in to his monologue in the last episode! It's along the same lines!!

Something I've noticed is that each episode I feel like the monologues get deeper and more meaningful, the farther we go the more is revealed.

This Dean monologue ends right as John and Mary get interrupted while they're kissing and Mary says "normal will have to wait another day" while there's a close up of Mary's college application as a mirror to SPN 15x20 with Dean's job application. Something I thought was interesting.

Suspicious Minds is an Elvis Presley song, which I know that the trend here is to include 60's and 70's songs, but knowing the intense meaning of Elvis in the Destiel fandom makes me feel a little unwell knowing Elvis actually gets incorporated into the text.

"Oh, let our love survive

I'll dry the tears from your eyes

Let's don't let a good thing die

When honey, you know I've never lied to you

Mmm, yeah, yeah

We're caught in a trap

I can't walk out

Because I love you too much, baby

Why can't you see

What you're doing to me

When you don't believe a word I say?"

So this is very much talking about one of the big plot points of this episode, a man who tries to bring his dead wife back to life in such desperation that he's willing to kill innocents to do it. Now the parallels drawn in this episode are very intentional to both John and Mary, even including the dialogue they speak after they kill said man and how John thinks that's love and Mary thinks it's horrible and she essentially makes him promise that that will never be them (clear foreshadowing) when in reality, even though it's showing that John already had the mindset of "doing it out of love" as he does in the future, they're both guilty of that. Mary brings John back to life when Azazel kills him, and as we all know, after Mary's death John goes on a revenge mission, wasting his life and putting his children through hell in the process. It's also just a running theme throughout SPN of toxic codependency and how almost every major character is also guilty of going to great lengths to bring the ones they love back. The song lyrics also apply to John and Mary as a romantic relationship as well and can show how their relationship is now and foreshadow what will happen in the future.

The thing that is different about this episode though, is that even though the parallels in this episode can apply to Dean, the actual Dean monologue doesn't, and this is what I find really weird and what I think is honestly one of the biggest indications that Jensen really is writing a fix it fanfiction:

This is the only episode where his monologue doesn't directly apply to himself. Every other episode ties in to his own experiences, except for this one. Dean doesn't go to great lengths to get himself a happy ending. Happy endings for other characters? Absolutely. But not for himself. Why would this be the only episode that doesn't directly relate to him? Well me and a lot of other people think because it really does apply to himself. But not as something he experienced in the past or has knowledge on, but as something he is doing right now. He is actively changing his future, possibly even a future with Cas (I do really think that there's a solid possibility that Destiel will become 100% canon in this show because of how everything is being set up, all of the parallels, and the fact that some of the cast, the social media team, and an executive producer has acknowledged some of these said parallels.) So in the end, how far will Dean go to get his happy ending?

Episode 11 "You've Got a Friend": Being a hunter means always being on the move. But no matter how hard you plan, no matter how hard you work, at a certain point, we all run out of road. It's what we do with those crossroads that define us.

"You've Got a Friend" is a song by Carole King from 1971:

"When you're down and troubled

And you need some lovin' care

And nothin', nothin' is goin' right

Close your eyes and think of me

And soon I will be there

To brighten up even your darkest night

You just call out my name

And you know, wherever I am

I'll come runnin'

To see you again

Winter, spring, summer or fall

All you have to do is call

And I'll be there

You've got a friend"

This represents Betty, and how in this episode she goes from being a potential source of trouble for the gang to becoming an ally, or a "friend" and an inside woman for them. This also can be applied to Carlos and Lata because Carlos was there for Lata and helped support her while Lata told Carlos about her childhood trauma.

In this episode, Dean's monologue is about the choices you make before you die. This can be seen in the choices made throughout this episode by multiple characters (Betty, Mary, John, etc) and this ties in with the song because no matter what choices you make, you'll have your friends by your side, which is true to Dean and just Supernatural as whole with their message of family and found family. Admittedly, I feel like the connection to Dean's voiceover and to the title of this episode aren't as strong as a lot of the previous episodes, but they're still there. (Betty, the "friend," makes a choice to work with the rest of the gang.) At the same time, I believe this can also be another instance of foreshadowing because Dean is dead, he's at that metaphorical cross road, and he's making a choice to go into the past.

As I said above, Lata faced her trauma. This is the 4th or 5th instance of someone on this show confronting their past. At this point, it's become a theme. Why would the show reiterate this point over and over? I think this will tie into Dean's reasons for why he's in the 70's. Not to mention this was yet ANOTHER episode where 2 characters are trapped in a room, and this time because of a shadow monster, and the only way to get out is if one confesses a deep secret. What the fuck.

Something to keep in mind is how much this episode emphasized secrets. This seems to foreshadow the fact that Dean is harboring some huge secrets that will soon be discovered. I think the real question now is how will these secrets be revealed to the audience and to our characters?

Episode 12 "The Tears of a Clown": Hunting is a dishonest business. You lie about who you are, and what you do. But the hardest lies aren't what you tell other people, but what you tell yourself."

The song "The Tears of a Clown" was released in 1967 by Smokey Robinson & The Miracles:

"Now if there's a smile on my face

It's only there trying to fool the public

But when it comes down to fooling you

Now honey that's quite a different subject

But don't let my glad expression

Give you the wrong impression

Really I'm sad, oh I'm sadder than sad

You're gone and I'm hurting so bad

Like a clown I appear to be glad (sad, sad, sad, sad)"

Okay, so this episode gave me a lot of brainrot. What the song is expressing is that even if you seem happy, that doesn't mean you are, and that was the big theme of this episode. Just because you seem okay or even think you're okay, that doesn't mean you are. With John, that applies to his anger issues and his unresolved issues with being charged for a murder he didn't commit. For Mary, it's the issues she already has, plus being unhappy in her relationship with John because she thinks he's using their relationship as an escape, and this also applies to her because even though she got accepted into college, she hadn't really taken any steps towards a normal life since then. In general, this episode was about a clown who lures emotionally vulnerable people into his circus tent so he can force them to be "happy" even though they aren't, like we saw with Roger.

This can very much apply to Dean's voice over, because the characters in this episode, including the clown, are actively lying to themselves.

The thing is, like a lot of Dean's voice overs, it's intentionally vague. He could be referring to literally anything. In the context of this episode, it makes the most sense that this is referring to Dean's anger issues and the fact that throughout the entirety of Supernatural, Dean oftentimes told himself and the people around him that he was okay, even though he wasn't. But at the same time, these voice overs and one like this in particular can be interpreted in different ways. What Dean says about facing the lies you tell yourself can apply to sexuality. Dean could be talking about not only his mental and emotional issues, but he could also be referencing being in love with Cas. At this point, Destiel happening feels like genuine build up. Now all we have to do is wait a couple more days to see if it all pays off.

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ramcharantitties · 2 years

Text

7 minutes

Sita's note- I deleted the earlier draft once so I will have to write again T-T. Also *gasp* sita used English title? Yes I did because I had this fic idea yesterday and my loveliest wife @rambheemlove helped me with it. The song 7 minutes by Dean Lewis went ironic with it. ALSO I tried to keep him in character but I'm sorry if I strayed out.

4 times you wanted to leave and 1 time you stayed.

----

"AKHTAR" Ram yelled his friend's name, who was nearing their house with a remorseful face on his bike. "Y/n, he-her bags are gone! She was here before I went to meet Babai. She is no where in the house or any places she would go to!" Ram was frantic, he was panicking, he was about to cry. But why was this affecting him? It's not like he loved y/n.

now I know how I let you down

"Anna" Akhtar grabbed ram's shoulders, and thought about your words. "Don't tell Ram, he won't notice anyways" Akhtar sighed thinking about what you said. But he looked at Ram. The desperation was vivid. And he had to tell Ram. "Whatever you said to her, she is gone now. I just dropped her to the Railway station"

I finally figured it out

Ram's world crashed down. He stood there, his heart in his stomach.

I forgot to love you.

You didn't want much in this forced marriage. You agreed to it, it's true. And you began to develop feelings for your husband too. But it appeared that he was becoming less human with you. Silent tears streamed down your cheek and you looked like as if a statue. As if the heat from his anger and your tears made you a rock. You wanted him to have dinner, that's all.

"Ram? Please have dinner" he didn't reply. He never did. "Ram?" Maybe he didn't hear the first time. "R-" "if someone isn't replying, dear wife, maybe try to leave them alone?" The golden eyes of sunshine became fire balls, the lips you wanted to touch spewed venom. Dear wife, you wished he called you that. Just not like this. No one had dinner that night.

You had one dream. To publish a book about how colonization wiped the Indian art, how you visibly saw the beauties of your country getting tarnished from white hands. And now here you were, your head in your hands as the publisher ridiculed it all to nothing. It was the 4th publisher now.

You looked at the clock, Ram should be home soon. You wiped your tears and got up, you were already late because of the visit. About 10 minutes later the front door opened, the footsteps fading towards the room. And then coming closer. You looked up to what he wanted, since he didn't really meet you after coming from work. "You didn't pick up the book I asked you to?" Ram asked and you stared at him dumbfounded. It slipped out of your mind, the book he gave for binding. Before you could say something, he stopped you. "What could be something so important that you forgot about it?" He left you alone with the question. Maybe Ram was right. It wasn't that important.

Everything you knew about your husband was from Babai. And you also knew that they have lived here for 4 years now, they must be missing their hometown. So you decided to make something that will remind them of their family, their village. Something to help their homesick heart.

When Babai tasted the dish, he couldn't help praising it. It was different, but better. You were sure that this could be something to bring Ram closer. "I made you something" you were nervous, as you neared him. "Keep it here" Ram replied, engrossed in his book. You kept the dish and covered it with a plate, excited. It was getting late already, so you decided to call it a day. When you woke up next morning, the dish was untouched and Ram had already left for work. You threw away the dish, but when Babai repeated the praises of your dish to Ram, he felt, weird.

Once again, Ram was denied the honor of what he deserved. Once again, being a traitor his own people and heart, following the white officials got him nothing. There was no surprise, but the disappointment set within. You knew how hard that would be, to do so much only to return bare handed.

You knocked on his door. Ram looked up at her for first time. "I know you are upset-" he didn't want consoling words. Ram wanted to focus harder on his goals, to get what he deserved. "-we should go out and" you couldn't even finish when he grabbed your shoulders, shaking your body. "Listen to me. I have nothing to do with you, so stop coming between my goal and my hardwork. I don't love you and I never will. So it's better if you leave"

You got on the train, standing by its door, leaving for your home city. His words still ringed in your head. Akhtar dropped you by the railway station, and you knew that he would go tell ram about you leaving. It didn't matter though, you knew Ram won't come here.

if i came back now, would you still be there?

You turned around, going to find your seat when you heard your name from a voice you knew so well. "Y/n!" He called out and you looked out to see Ram looking through windows and tearing the crowd. Ram looked anxious. Before you could think, you called for him.

if i come around, would you even care?

"Ram!" He heard your voice. Ram looked at you, leaning out the door of the train, your braid swinging. He ran to you and you stepped down. "What are you doing here?" You asked and Ram huffed. He held your hand in his and you were bewildered. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything but please, please don't leave" he said and you were taken aback.

is it too late to turn around?

The surprise was vivid on your face and his heart broke at the sight. Babai was right, he has been nothing but a jerk to you ever since you got married. "Ram, I need to leave" you muttered, tears streaming down. "Please no" he whispered, clutching your hand tighter.

im already halfway out of town

"Why do you have to go? You can't just run out of if your relationship gets bad!" He knew this was wrong as soon as your eyebrows furrowed. The train whistled. You snatched your hand from his and got on the train.

now i know how to let you down

"Ram I have nothing here! You don't love me, my dream was shattered into pieces and you don't even know what I could possibly be talking about! You weren't there with me to call it a relationship!" The train started to move and he walked with it.

i finally figured it out

"Y/n, please, give me one chance" he walked faster with the moving train. "Ram you will get hurt, leave!" You called out. "Please, Y/n, just once, and if not, then you can leave" Ram started to jog when he realized he was falling behind.

Please, please stop. Both of you wished the same thing. But it seemed like only one wished harder for it.

Ram saw your bag thrown out of the train. You raised your hand towards him and jumped when he caught it, before the train could gain anymore speed. Ram hugged you close, nuzzling his head in your neck. "I'm sorry, it will never happen now"

i forgot to love you.

tagging- @budugu @rambheemisgoated @thewinchestergirl1208 @shreyalokesh @bromance-minus-the-b @juhiiiiii @dumdaradumdaradum @chaanv @chaotic-moonlight @aasthuu @mish-ka @kashti15 @saanjh-sakhi @ronaldofandom @bishh-kanya @nyotamalfoy @obsessedtoafault @iamhereforthefanfics @maraudersbitchesassemble @phoenix666stuff @iam-siriuslysher-lokid @infusedchaos @army24--7 @iams99 @booksmartheart @rambheemlove @stuckyandlarrystuff @bitchy-bi-trash @moonyrox

#ram charan #ghungru #rrr #rrr movie #fanfic #desi tag #ram x reader #ram x wife!reader #7 minutes #dean lewis

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volivolition · 6 days

Note

hello we return to ramble about music because music is one of our biggest hyperfixations ever. hai [Do let us know if you're ever tired of us sharing music though Shauaiakdjcjsjdfj]

Do you have a favourite song? A favourite band or musician? PLEASE do share if so, we're always looking for new music especially from friends!!

We have!!! song reccs for you :] Song for the Dead and Song for the Deaf, both by Queens of the Stone Age! Both songs are very red to us [we have synesthesia] and they remind us collectively of Phys Instrument and I!

-PT

HAI HELLO!! my music friends the furies!! (hjfkjh dont worry, i love hearing from you!! :D <33)

2. ooh, thank you PT, i was just listening to Song for the Dead on the subway the other day, it sounded so cool!! i assumed it was a Physique vibe, but so cool to hear who exactly :D im listening to Song for the Deaf now, just really good guitar for both of these songs, the words are sung more lyrical in this one :0 the ending is amusing, just silence and then laughing to the instrumental hdkjh <3 extremely red vibes, you're so right for this <3 thank you for sharing the PT and Fizzy songs :D <33

1. oh god i have to put this under a cut. tl;dr: my current favorite song is Too Sweet by Hozier because it reminds me of Voli and Chemi :]!!

hgkjh did you know my bio used to say "i can relate any hozier song to disco elysium"? the statement is hyperbole, but i love hozier so fuckin much heres just a bunch of nonsense:

"Too Sweet" is a volistry song. to me. ("I take my whiskey neat~" "My coffee black and my bed at three...") echem thinks voli's too uptight ("You keep telling me to live right / to go to bed before the daylight... / but then you wake up for the sunrise... / don't you just want to wake up... / lost in a haze?") and voli thinks echem is too hedonistic ("If you're drunk on life-" "Babe, I think it's great~" "But while in this world... / I aim low / I aim true and the ground's where I go / I work late where I'm free from the phone / And the job gets done / But you worry some, I know.") and in this way they're "too sweet (morally/indulgently)" for each other, but they fall in love around the "You know, you're bright as the morning, soft as the rain" "Pretty as a vine, as sweet as a grape" mark because they start to balance each other out so they're not overworking/refusing all joy and not giving in to every temptation/dangerously ignoring health and responsibility for dopamine and they're GOOD FOR EACH OTHER... im. not normal about them ever i could write essays about them :'] (also the bells in the chorus just hit different i love that shit man...)

i've been meaning to draw Echem with the song "Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene" just for the title alone lmao... but it's absolutely a bop and i enjoy it :]

"Jackie and Wilson" is TRULY LIKE. IS ANYONE SEEING THIS. "Cut clean from the dream at night / let my mind reset / Looking up from a cigarette and he's already left" "He'll know me crazy, soothe me daily, better yet, he wouldn't care / We'll steal his Lexus / be detectives / ride 'round picking up clues" IS ANYONE ELSE HEARING THIS THAT'S FUCKING HARRY AND KIM. HELLO??

my other alternate bio used to read "From Eden is such a de song. if you even care" i need everyone to listen to this and tell me its not a disco elysium song ogughgjkh!!! "Honey, you're familiar / Like my mirror years ago" "Innocence died screaming" "A rope in hand for your other man to hang from a tree" HOZIER MY MAN YOU DID IT BUDDY THAT'S THE GAME!!!

i can perfectly imagine which skill is singing which line to harry in "Almost (Sweet Music)" as he gets over dora and falls in love with kim. imagine them smoking on the balcony together while the skills swirl around them, invisible to kim but nudging harry and each other.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Easy: Success] - Let's get lost and let the good times roll! SAVOIR FAIRE [Medium: Success] - Let's smoke rings from this paper, doll~ SUGGESTION [Medium: Success] - Blow sweet and thick 'til every thought of it don't mean a thing. PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT [Medium: Success] - I got some color back. EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - He thinks so too... INLAND EMPIRE [Formidable: Success] - I laugh like me again... She laughs like you. RHETORIC [Legendary: Failure] - I wouldn't know where to start... PERCEPTION [Medium: Success] - Sweet music playing in the dark. VOLITION [Godly: Success] - *Be still*, my foolish heart- COMPOSURE [Challenging: Success] - Don't ruin this on me...

"First Time" is harry and dora ("the first time that you kissed me / i drank dry the river lethe" YOU MEAN THE GREEK RIVER THAT MAKES YOU FORGET EVERYTHING HOZIER???), "Eat Your Young" is truly a Disco Elysium vibe song of political ideology, do i even have to mention "Take Me to Church" for the idolization of Dora? and "Like Real People Do" [just straight up starts sobbing on the floor.] when the... the two people with similarly sad pasts learn to grow and heal together... we should just kiss like real people do... fucking hell man...

i also like!! AJR (current fave: Inertia [waltz time my adored]), The Oh Hellos (Hieroglyphs [the beat! the melody! the lyrics! singing together! ough my love... i miss choir]), The Altogether (See The Day [makes me cry. volition song i think]), American Authors (Luck [longtime favorite]), and Ricky Montgomery (currently it's Cabo but god this man's got bops. This December. Line Without a Hook. Get Used to It. Snow [<- desaturated blue song]. My Heart is Buried in Venice. okay thats it i promise hdkjh)

#volta transmissions #chemi chats #[hands you 19 songs with excessive commentary and. disappears under mysterious circumstances. :)]#hgjkgh just kidding thank you for asking I CHERISH YOU!!!!#suggestion recommendation

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fossil-night · 3 months

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Stares at you well do you have peach pit recommendations…

ok actually i've had a ask (from @gnarlyimp) sitting around asking me what my favorite peach pit songs AND ablums are so I'll just give it to you :3

ALBUMS

Being So Normal

first Peach Pit album i listened to in full, has the first Peach Pit song I listened to on it (Being So Normal....little did i know this would become a 3 year long interest), has some of my favorites on there (Chagu's Sideturn, Alrighty Aphrodite) and one of their most not-Peach-Pit-songs, Private Presley and Hot Knifer (in a good way) plus my DREAM song to see them play live (Not Me) (plus how they reuse the bridge lyrics in Black Licorice WOW). Also an awesome story about the title (they were criticized for "being so normal" based off their first EP (Sweet FA) so its especially cool to see how they experimented in this one) Plus this was the documentary era where Mike feeds Chris boiled eggs which is awesome....AND ITS GOT TOMMY'S PARTY WHO COULD FORGET...

2. You and Your Friends/From 2 to 3

I CAN"T PICK OK..........YAYF has some bangers on there + lots of improvement from BSN, I love all the riffs and Shampoo Bottles and Black Licorice are ICONIC....plus the guitar on all the tracks is AMAZING but especially Brian's Movie (and Chris' 12 string guitar), Thrusday, You and Your Friends, Figure 8 and Psychics in LA....

BUT FROM 2 TO 3 holds a special place in my heart....I love the story behind Up Granville's riff (Chris reused it from a song he wrote 15 years ago and it saved the track), it was the first album i was there to see them release, I like the different tone they took with it + Mike's harmonica solo in Look Out! is so so so so awesome....

3. Sweet FA

this one is a bit unfair because it was the first EP/Album they released and it DOES have some iconic ones on there of course (Seventeen, Sweet FA (+ the music videos for these are great)) but its also got......the first version of Drop the Guillotine......ew...

SONGS

ok here comes the hard part....first I'll do honorable mentions that just didn't make the list

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Figure 8 - this one was pretty close, I'd swap it out most likely with Private Presley because they're on the same level (I just love the slow intro in the live performances + the guitar of course)...live version makes me cry everytime i listen to it

Pepsi on the House - this is probably my 10-8th favorite Peach Pit song, big fan of the lyrics anf guitar

Look Out! - love the beginning part, plus the music video is great (Chris fell off the truck while they were recording so instead of panning to a beautiful sirene landscape, it just shows Chris running really fast)...THE HARMONICA SOLO....

honestly From 2 to 3 just in general has some really good songs

Brian's Movie - this one is an EXTREMELY CLOSE 5......the slider/Chris' guitar playing.....the lyrics........Peter in their live video....its all so good

THE FINAL DECISION 1. Hot Knifer

honestly this one hasn't ALWAYS been my top song....but recently, with the addition of Dougal's violin in their live performances AND Chris' beautiful solo has me captivated...plus Peter's vocals and bass playing during the chorus + with the solo is BEAUTIFUL..!!!!! PLUS PLUS PLUS IN RECENT LIVE PERFORMANCES MIKEY'S BEEN PLAYING A HARMONICA SOLO......this song literally could not get better...i kind of doesnt sound like a peach pit song but thats what makes it good..ITS DIFFERENT.....AND IN THIS VIDEO Peter and Chris play together and its so sweet. The world is a beautiful place

2. Up Granville

This one is mainly because its just so beautiful....the music video makes me cry everytime i watch it, I love the slow beginning of the intro and then all the instruments joining at once....the whole thing is about loving your friends.....its the origin of the album cover..the fact that the riff is reused from when Chris was 15 and thats how the whole song came together......WHAT IF I CRIED.....i love hearing the croud sing the chorus too.. thats how its supposed to be heard in my opinion

3. Not Me

some of my favorite aspects of this song are similar to hot knifer (the non-peach pit sound, catchy riff, the lyrics that they reused in Feelin' Low (F*ckboy Blues) will never NOT be cool to me) but i ADORE this distortion and lead up to the solo.....definitely one of my top peach pit solos. Sadly they've never played it live (that i can find anyways) but it seems like SUCH A COOL SONG to see live. but who knows. a man can always hope :) OH AND THE SOUND CLIP IN THE BEGINNING IS GREAT. I love when songs intro with a clip. and the outro is sick as hell

4. Private Presley

pretty similar to Not Me and Hot Knifer in terms of why i like it. its based off Elvis Presely which is cool. Dougal also plays violin in this one......GODDDDD the solo means everything to me. I love seeing them play it live and how much they move around. man and just seeing Chris shred the solo is the most inspring thing in the world...he moves up and down the fretboard like its BUTTER. and the distortion...who could forget

5. Being So Normal/Alrighty Aphrodite

I'm counting this as two because these songs are connected when they preform them live OK......Being So Normal has such an iconic riff and the lyrics are SO FUCKING GOOD..............I <3 the transition from Chris' loop to the bass line like WOW!!!!!!!! + the bass in Alrighty Aphrodite is definitely one of my favorites, plus the solo that Chris does is AWESOME and i love Neil's dancing in their live performances...!!!! ALSO THE TRANSTION FROM RAINING BLOOD TO BEING SO NORMAL IS SOMETHING THAT WILL NEVER NOT BE COOL TO ME....

Grins at You Thanks for asking Scott....i love Peach pit so much❤️ now im going to go listen to their songs a billion times

#peachpitposting #Peach Pit #yayyyyy #asked and answered #softiestyx

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skyyknights · 6 months

Text

20 Questions For Fic Writers

Tagged by @zeldaelmo @nocturne-side-blog @aegon-targaryen !! Thank you all!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

59 in total, but only 46 are available to the public 😅 I think I ended up putting some of the ones I wasn't as fond of, or ones that I just didn't feel like updating ever again, to a private collection lol

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

212,020!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

hooboy.

Legend of Zelda, mainly, but also: How to Train Your Dragon, Miraculous, LOTR, 1917, MCU, Narnia, Endeavour, and a few other extremely obscure fandoms hardly anyone else is in XD

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

the faces left behind (LU which I know many people hate but I like it so don't judge lol)

Marinette Has Cookies (Of Course Chat Showed Up) (what an annoying title actually??) (Miraculous)

Just Allergies? (How to Train Your Dragon)

Juli's Tree (Flipped)

The Power of a Hot Drink (Skyward Sword)

wow I am... not good at coming up with fic titles 😂 nowadays I just pick a song lyric from a song that applies and slap it on the title but other than that they're pretty horrible 💀

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! Although sometimes if there's really no way to respond to it I just mark it as read.

...also usually it takes me a while to get the motivation to reply. I've been known to take months before answering a comment 😬

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oo hm... I can't decide so instead I shall dump a handful of them

One Last Look - Skyward Sword Zelink, after that scene

Age - Sksw Zelink through the years, with a bittersweet ending

Golden Sands - this is one of the first fics I ever posted (originally posted on Wattpad... oof). but basically it's about the robot Skipper from Skyward Sword, thinking about his past life while broken and unable to move in the present.

Incomprehensible - POV of other hobbits in the Shire, unable to understand why the four Travelers act the way they do, or why eventually their number drops to three.

Regrets - Joandeavour talking about... tough things :(

Please, Ada - Babey™ Legolas wanting to hang with his father and his father does NOT want to hang with him is the happiest way I can describe it

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Take three because I'm indecisive.

Worthy - Edmund Pevensie coming to terms with the fact that he is loved

Spidey - Spideychelle being oblivious. that is all

Rainy Days - TP Zelinkkkkkk

there's definitely more but I think those are probably some of the happiest

8. Do you get hate on fics?

My fics usually have a pretty small reception so I don't think so? The most would be someone saying the plotholes of the fic were killing them which then sent me, a major overthinker, into overdrive, even though it's not that bad XD so no, thankfully, I don't think I've ever gotten any (although anon hate is another thing entirely. LOL)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

nope! don't ever plan to either

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

erm. I don't think I ever have?? I've read one or two before, but I don't believe I have ever actually written one

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so XD

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

again, idt so!!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope! It's a dream of mine though, Noct and I have several things planned >>>>>>:)

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

oh boy.

this is a tricky question

and

the answer is.

all of them

ok jokes aside I genuinely cannot narrow it down, so I'll list... my top five, I guess.

Zelink, Joandeavour, Spideychelle, Rudy/Liesel, and Hiccstrid

(Hm. Thinking about it Joandeavour is probably my favorite just because it's so heartbreakingly tragic, but Zelink is a very very very close second)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

hah.

Probably this, a fix-it Spideychelle fic that I have a lot written for but idk if I'll ever have the guts to do much else with it

16. What are your writing strengths?

d. description I guess?? I've never been a good judge at what I'm good at XD

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I tend to be a bit Victor Hugo-esque with my sentences, aka I have to control myself so the sentence doesn't stretch on for five paragraphs

and we don't talk about my old fics <3

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I mean? For LOTR I would definitely sprinkle in elvish just for the vibe of it, also because he did so, but I would also provide translations. For real-world...hmm. I think I did throw in three or four German words in The Book Thief fic I posted recently, but again, the author himself did so, and I think so long as you're not adding a full, necessary sentence that the reader is then required to look up in order to understand what's going on, and if you instead just use a curse word or a muttered phrase of annoyance or something in the other language, I think that's fine.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

LOTR, I believe. Hand-written in seventh or eighth grade XD

(And then I wrote dozens of unfinished Loz fics in the notes app on my mom's ancient phone she didn't use anymore, fics that completely misunderstood any of the games because I hadn't played them yet. It pains me to think about those fics).

(also this is not counting those "add on to the end of the story!" assignments teachers used to give out in middle school)

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

oh hot dang lemme see

againnnn we are doing several (look my decision making has been ATROCIOUS lately, I cannot be faulted <3)

you feel like home - SkSw Zelink, a teeny tiny bit of angst but mostly fluff (also Link nearly throws hands with Scrapper which is a bonus. When I tell you I cranked that fic out in a day after getting so salty with Scrapper I nearly snapped my wiimote in half)

would I run off the world someday - a very recent TP Zinc fic!! It has traces of Midlink; essentially, it's about Link refusing to stop grieving Midna, and thus hurting himself and Zelda, who is in love with him due to having shared a soul with Midna. It's basically a 4+1 fic and does end happy with the promise of future Zelink, very different from my normal Zelink stuff though

annnd...

Forbidden - Zinc week fic that didn't get as much attention as my other two ZW fics, but I actually really really love it so. <3 I just. idk I love the prose of that fic, I suppose :) and the ending hehe

I do have a few other favorites but I think it's unfair to include them because they're unfinished lol

tagging: @aheavenscorner @minstrelsmusings @onewingedsparrow (sorry if you've already been tagged oops)

#tag game

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susanvstorm · 7 months

Text

a morgadec playlist

just like i did for my morgane playlist, i have a bit of analysis for some -most- of the songs in this mix✨ enjoy✨

i'll translate to english anything that isn't in english or french.

the title refers to a spanish saying "ser la media naranja de alguien" which means someone is your other half. i thought it would go well with them as they're kind of polar opposites (plus morgane's hair lol)

1. Somebody Else, The 1975

it's not hard to guess: it refers to all the times morgane and karadec realized/admitted their feelings, but the other was in a relationship, and they were jealous, while also trying to bury those feelings down.

I don't want your body

But I hate to think about you with somebody else

Our love has gone cold

You're intertwining your soul with somebody else

I'm looking through you

2. Let Her Go, Passengers - refers to when adam realized he did love morgane, but he was in a committed relationship with roxanne -specifically, when he saw morgane with others.

3. home with you, FKA twigs

I've never seen a hero like me in a sci-fi

So I wonder if your needs are even meant for me

I wonder if you think that I could ever raise you up

I wonder if you think that I could ever help you fly

Never seen a hero like me in a sci-fi

But I'd save a life if I thought it belonged to you

Mary Magdalene would never let her loved ones down

this song makes me really warm. it refers to all the times adam and morgane wanted to be there for each other. the first stanza written here makes me think of how morgane sees herself as impossble/self-centered/a bad person, yet she would do anything for her loved ones -and she's proved it. the other lines, i see them from adam's pov, for instance, when she'd cried and he couldn't tell why, but wanted to help her.

I didn't know that you were lonely

If you'd have just told me, I'd be home with you

4. Je T'offrirai Le Monde, Nej

the part about "even if it's not easy" made me think of morgane for obvious reasons. and i do believe adam loves her specifically because it's not "simple" in the way others have intended it -but to him, loving her is simple.

Dis-moi que tu m'aime

Même si ce n'est pas facile

Regarde autour de toi

Que des amours impossible

Dis-moi si c'est possible notre amour impossible?

5. Be My Mistake, The 1975 - i feel like this refers to when adam was in a relationship with roxanne, yet was obviously drawn to morgane, and it would've been wrong. but he kissed her anyways. she even tried to distance herself, but it was no use.

6. Complicado, Vitão ft. Anitta

i think this is pretty self explanatory. for all the times they were stuck overthinking and lost chances.

Life is too short to overthink,

If I want and you want, why waste more time?

If there are feelings,

Why is our moment getting complicated?

7. Amor Ordinario, Danna Pola

You love me intermittedly

I can't decypher your silences

And no, don't act like it never hapened

honestly the entire song is really sad. it's about an idealized love that should've been extraordinary, but ended up ending badly and being ordinary. perhaps this could very well fit romain, too, but i think it fits them, too. in how they "wanted to fly, but really never took off" and in how "i want to hate you, but i love you, i can't. how do i forget you? you were my greatest invention."

It would have been better to dream

Instead of waking up and ereasing us

We matched but for 4 sighs, then fled

8. Nights Like This, Kehlani

And I can't believe the lies that I went for

Thought you was mine, but you decided to be with him though

Took my feelings and just threw 'em out the window

Feel like it's too hard to fall in love again, no

for all the times they looked for each other but, sure they'd only get hurt again, they didn't reach out to each other.

On some nights like this, shawty, I can't help but think of us

I've been reminiscin', sippin', missin' ya

Can you tell me what's with all this distant love?

If I called, would you pick it up?

On some nights like this, I just wanna text you, but for what?

You gon' say you want me, then go switch it up

Just gon' play with my emotions just because, no (Oh)

9. Eye Blue Like The Atlantic, Sista Porud - little interlude. or: adam falling for morgane in a sweet, sweet way.

10. Yo No Soy Celoso, Bad Bunny

listen I HAVE AN EXPLANATION FOR BAD BUNNY BEING IN THIS PLAYLIST and you find it in the lyrics. imo, this is really from adam's pov. no, ofc he's not jealous -but then loses focus whenever he learns morgane is with someone else. the song also mentions jealousy as machismo, and tbh i do think adam would flog himself for it.

I'm not jealuos, but who is this ass?

Tell me who he is

Don't worry, I'm not crazy

I won't make a scene, but

Ouch, my heart

11. Superclassico, Ernia - read above. it's perhaps a tad too violent for how i see any of them, but the point still stands. also i like the "there's a part of you that's a part of me" and also the idea that they're a "classic" (although, perhaps, nothing is classic about them?"

12. El Mismo Are, Camilo

this refers particularly to the end of S3.

You and I

Went from beinig everything to nothing

From eating each other with our eyes

And now, standing in front of each other, you can't even look me in the face

We lived mouth to mouth

Lips wouldn't let go

And now in the same room, we can't even breath the same air

13. I Couldn't Be More In Love, The 1975 - because this playlists needed more soft songs.

14. Mille Guerre, Ariete

I hate you when you act so mean

Because I'd start a thousand wars for anything

For you

I swear, I'd start them

finally something from morgane's pov!! to understand why it's mainly about her, you should look up the whole song. the singer dislikes herself and talks herself down, yet would do anything for her lover who, admittedly, is a little grumpy -or: this time it's morgane who falls in love. tbh the whole "act mean" made me think of how adam often gives her the silent treatment, mainly bc the original word is something like snarky or grumpy.

Here we go again, fuck, I didn't mean to

Started as a game, but this time I'll drown

I can't help thinking about you

You hurt like hell, but I'm a masochist

15. Sorry, Halsey - i talked about this one already. it's how morgane sees herself and her relationships.

16. Rolling in the Deep, Adele - again, post s3.

17. Inuyasha, Mahmood

refers to how they're both willing -morgane especially, tbh- to work on their issues for the other. it describes a couple that does fight -even in front of people ahem- but wants to push through.

I'll put the worst parts of me

Inside a crysalis

So they won't hurt you anymore

If you'll do the same

18. Si j'crois plus en l'amour, Hoshi

their relationship as something that can help mend broke wounds. and how, especially morgane, did not have much faith in love anymore -but for him, he would. (or perhpas, has little faith she could ever be loved)

Si j'crois plus en l'amour

Est-ce que tu peux le faire pour deux?

Venir à mon secours

Quand il pleut un peu dans mes yeux

Si j'crois plus en l'amour

Sache que pourtant c'est toi qu'je veux

Jusqu'à la fin d'mes jours

Promis, juré j'vais faire au mieux

Si j'crois plus en l'amour

19. Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High, Artic Monkeys - kinda supposed to represent their evident communication issues lol

#Spotify #tf1 hpi #hpi #morgadec #morgane alvaro #audrey fleurot #y'all don't know how long this took #why did i add so many non english songs #i dont like translating

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dragonrider9905 · 8 months

Note

1, 3, and 4 for the fic writer ask game. 😁

I am so sorry it took me a while to get to this! But thanks for the lovely ask!!!! Very much enjoyed it!

1. Share a song that makes you think of [fic title]

Ohhhhhhhhh Great one!!! I love this question!!! Since you didn't pick out a fic, I'll just pick some ;D Sooooooo "I've Got You Brother" was the source of inspiration for my short story 'I've Got You Brother (and I Won't Let Go)' in the story "The Days We Can't Get Back" about the Batcher's past.

For my original works, the three songs (My Love Has Gone Across the Sea, My Immortal by evanescence, and Carry You by Ruelle) because of their theme and lyrics always remind me of my story "Shelter from the Storm" --Hunter x OC story.

Now as I am typing and thinking...I realize I use music and lyrics A LOT for my writing....so obviously "For the Dancing and the Dreaming" I have a story for that...I have two WIPs: Kiss the Girl and Call Me Maybe .... hehe, I think I went way over what you were looking for :D

3. What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

EEeeeehhhhhhh how can you ask me to choose from my children?!?!?! ;P hehehehe quite seriously though, amazing ask. I don't know if I have a favorite :D But I must say, "For the Dancing and the Dreaming" is definitely near the top of my list. "If Only Time" I love the concept but not sure I executed it too well. "This Bond Between Us" is also a favorite because it is such a different concept with a force-sensitive Hunter and once I got going on the request I had a lot of fun doing it. "I Can't Take You Anywhere" is probably one of my favorite humor ones I've written. Gotta love me some Hunter & Crosshair doing a coffee shop run ;D

4. How many WIPs do you have right now?

Heh. Heh. Heh. *nervous chuckle* I have 13 tabs up on my computer presently but those aren't all my WIPs....total I have 'about' 50 😬 I'm horrible I know. I WILL finish them! I WILL finish them! (one of these days. More and more ideas just keep coming and I can't 🤯 if only I didn't have to work and could just write forever, I tell ya)

Writer Ask Game

#dragonrider9905 answers

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what-if-nct · 1 year

Note

HI TODAY'S REMINDER IS PHANTOM!!!!! ok strap in this is gonna go on for a bit

1. the OPULENCE. the DIAMONDS, the chandeliers, the beating heart tied up in golden chains god it was a visual feast and that's before I've even gotten to the members, which

2. THEY LOOK SO FUCKING GOOD. Hendery??? Xiaojun????? Kun with those fucking red contacts staring straight into my soul???????? there's so many to pick from but the black outfits? yummy. all of them all at once please

3. the SONG omg i missed wayv title tracks so muchhhhhhhhhhh ughhh i love how grandiose it sounds while still being so current which tbh is a line wayv title tracks always ride perfectly (people say kickback wasn't all that and yeah it's not my favourite but it's still really fucking good). also WHEN did Winwin's voice get that deep??? and Hendery, sir? Yangyang at least warned us in rain day, but the other two… once again: yummy

4. I'm sure someone smarter than me will analyse the music video properly and tell me what's actually going on but the one thing i did notice was the set with the black outfits changing in the second half with the chandelier falling and the statues broken and the ground falling in and I'm sure that means something but my brain could only focus on how fucking hot i find them dancing among ruin

5. they're… they're actually back. like for real for real. like there's a song and an album (which i will listen to tomorrow but I'm v much looking forward to). there was a stage? which by the way. also extremely hot. i love how much puppet imagery there is in the choreo, it ties in very well with what little i understood of the lyrics. which, don't get me wrong, i love their music, but their lyrics do read a lot like a theology comprehension text and I'm not always up to the task.

i just. fucking love them so much. and this song. I've been falling off nct slowly these past few months but… they really just proved why they were the unit that got me hooked in the first place. can you believe we survived the drought? we really made it all the way through. good job us

Hiii, I've said this before and I'll say this again out of all of the NCT universes Wayv gets the absolute best styling,concepts, and songs. Nothing against dream or 127 I love them all equally but Wayv has had way less misses with title tracks then 127. I just cant accept 2baddies. I can't. It has not grown on me.

But seriously they look amazing it's still giving Vampire princes and I love it. And the song like it sounds like a Wayv song but kind of matured and refined in a way. Yangyang's voice surprised me but luckily we found out he has the range and I love when he switches it back to his natural voice. And Hendery and Winwin normally have deep voices but like it sounded so much deeper I could feel it in the depths of my uterus. And only Felix's rap in victory song has ever done that. Like it just was so good then Xiaojun and Ten off setting the depth with their higher voices and Xiaojun's high notes will always hit the spot every single time and Kun's mid tempo voice kind of melds it all together. Like they finally returned to us after years they've done it.

No I feel you with Stray Kids pulling me by my ankles I also felt myself slipping from NCT but Wayv really just came in and was like not on our watch. And I can't wait to see them promote fully after two years. They deserve all of our love and support. Now to listen to the album while shopping for lingerie because what else are you supposed to do while listening to a Wayv album

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igiveyoumyblood · 11 months

Text

‘Bite Me’ First Reactions

Whoops almost posted this on the ATEEZ blog. And got distracted by Scoups in the process... Sorry not sorry.

Well, it’s been like 10 months since our last comeback. And was the wait worth it? Of course not. But was the comeback good? Um....

I mean, I guess it’ll grow on me. The song, for sure. The MV I guess. The choreo maybe. The lyrics, not so much.

I ended up having a decent bit to say about this before I even got into the MV analysis so everything is below the line.

First, some good points for us;

Vampires are back!!!!

Chess

Very Gothic

Some very pretty shots in the MV - wonderful use of lighting, set and composition

Some ENHYPEN themes in the lyrics like fate, the body on the cellular level

Codependency????

Some bad points for us;

Some trashy romance lyrics in the song

Codependency is an interesting theme to explore but I don’t think it’s been done as well as TXT

HYBE reusing TXT’s storyline?

Choreo that makes it easy to sexualise STILL A MINOR Niki

No werewolves

Song’s a bit meh imo

Not enough blood for an ENHYPEN title track

Actually just a lack of blood in general. I am unimpressed

Which idiot put Jay in a black shirt and a sparkly vest because that is a disgusting combination and the stylists should know by now that vests are very unflattering on him

Bad screenshot but omg that looks bad. Niki looks like he’s picking his nose and Jungwon is slaying, tho.

Is it supposed to be a homage to a fencing lame? A very vampiric sport? But then again, ENHYPEN are football players, not fencing... Or maybe it’s a homage to the trashy vests he wore in Pass The Mic? Because it doesn’t look like either of those options.

I love the outfits in this scene, but Jay’s is a -1100/10 for me. Poor guy doesn’t deserve this.

Moving on, we have the lyrics. As I pointed out before, they do bring back some concepts related to ENHYPEN, like fate, dreams, connections etc. But they’re also very reminiscent of a trashy romance song. Which could be for any combination of three reasons;

1) Getting the people who are attracted to these boys swooning

2) To be in line with the vampire genre/archetype, which is heavily tied to romance, BDSM etc - see lines like ‘tie me up’ and all of that.

3) To critique the above by pointing out a toxic and codependent relationship - see the whole ‘save me,’ ‘searching for you,’ ‘worships you’ bit.

I imagine it’s some combination of the three. In which case, I am sick and tired of #1, it is an uninteresting version of #2, and #3 has been done better by HYBE through TXT. So either way, HYBE wins (I guess) and ENHYPEN loses.

All that complaining aside, the lyrics aren’t that bad. They reintroduce us to the storyline, which I love. They have a lot of references, which I also love. And they can be analysed in many ways - literally see the above. Which is a great part of art, I think. The ambiguity may be annoying, but it’s also fascinating. I don’t have much to say about them that I haven’t already said, though. The most important lyrics are the ones I’ve already pointed out.

So with that in mind, let’s move on to a gloriously Gothic MV.

Loving the tower - it has a great combination of light and dark, which is heavily tied to grey morality (cough, vampires, cough). It also looks like it’s abandoned and decaying (cough, vampires), like the tower of a castle (vampires), and like a prison (say it with me - mysterious lords of faraway castles who turn out to be VAMPIRES). And - catacombs (can you guess what goes in these brackets?).

I also like how the bases of the windows can look a bit like chains at first, and how there is a dark spot at the top - where bats (ahem, vampires) or other evil may lurk.

Low angle = powerlessness, which is what they talk about in the lyrics.

Also love how it reminds me of the tower from Given-Taken (best song), the grungey concrete aesthetic of Pass The Mic (visual connection to the previous comeback), and Guerrilla by ATEEZ (Gothic boys being Gothic).

Honestly a masterful shot and they were so lucky to get this as s hooting location. Since I’m pretty sure it’s real, not CGI.

You can’t see from the still, but the moving/flickering clouds and lights outside the tower also show, duh, passing time - time being a key element of both ENHYPEN and vampire stories.

Bruv it’s only the first shot and I wrote 200+ words. This is when you know that maybe being a media student was taking your love for media a step too far.

I like how this shot mirrors the formation of the previous shot. I also like how they all turn away from the light. And how it makes the audience feel incredibly powerless.

The set here is lovely, but the light temperature bothers me - it looks too artificial and makes it look like we woke up in a lab not an epic vampire castle.

But wake up we did. And we woke up in the midst of vanpires.

Now they look towards the light, but the light is the moon during the day - an unusual thing, and which probably means werewolves.

WEREWOOOOOOOOOLLLLVES.

And this is about as close to an &TEAM cameo as we’ll get, I guess >:(

Thus the ‘Dark Moon’ logo sequence with the eclipse.

I have no clue where this is supposed to be, and ENHYPEN are living up to their vampire superpowers, because they seem to be teleporting with every comeback. But it looks nice and very Gothic. I like how, from this distance, the mountain can look a bit like a monster with a smaller skull and rib bones on it’s back.

Maybe I watch too many ‘Iron Lung’ videos.

And that’s about as close to blood as we’re going to get in this MV.

Again, the 7-circle formation which is honestly not unique to ENHYPEN, but still worth noting. And they’re in the white outfits - did they get smote down by the power of the moon wolves?

I mean that is classic vampire imagery right there. Maybe they needed to sleep to heal from the werewolves.

It’s also an intteresting way to emphasise the powerlessness that they describe/imply in the lyrics.

Ayo they’re gonna keep teleporting. It’s another tower, which is possibly more dilapidated than the other. And, of course, later in the day. Perfect for vampires.

For some reason, every single time I’ve watched this MV - which is many times by now - I have had the exact thought ‘yo that circle kind of reminds me of a pentagon’ at this exact moment - not before when they’re in a circle, not when they turn into coffins, no. When they turn into floating coffins.

This is also a very clever way in my opinion to go from an extreme high angle o a low angle.

I love how the blue light from above transitions to red and dark - reminds me of, again, catacombs, and also, duh, of hell.

I think the floor is bizarre in this set, but it becomes important later so I’ll excuse it.

Also love he starting formation for the choreo.

JUNGWOOOOOOOOOOONNNNN

I know some people hate the pale contacts on idols, and in lots of cases it’s out of concept, but it’s completely in-concept for ENHYPEN, and I love it.

I’m a big fan of this set, other than the unfortunate way in which it reminds me of Yoongi-priest in whichever BTS video that was.

The candles are amazing, and so is the mirror-window centrepiece. It evokes vampire lore (invisible in mirrors), common media (a standoff in a dream world between a hero and villain, complete with a chessboard), and the Gothic in general (no one is there, and then someone appears).

I like that it’s Jungwon v Sunghoon - Sunghoon was the one defending the girl (who I presume is the one from the webtoon but no one knows because no one can read it because it’s paid) in the album teaser, and Jungwon is the leader, thus most likely the most powerful vampire, either in authority or in power.

I like how this shot transitions from looking like very questionable blood.

To a flock of demon birds.

To our physics-loving Aussie Jake.

More vampire lore and references - they may be cliche, but at least I can respect them as very Gothic and very epic.

As expected, turns out the ‘blood’ was the Dark Moon that seems to rule over their lives as soon as HYBE wants more money thus webtoon.

Dang, imagine having your career as an idol determined by some semi-random webtoon. Kind of funny and kind of epically unique.

I love how Niki’s always the one in the MVs to get the casual displays of power. And I also love the ornaments in his hair.

This reminds me of him floating in Given-Taken, which makes me think that he is both a floater and a teleporter. I say with no evidence and having not looked at the webtoon yet for fear of cringe.

Also loving how he is high above us and effortlessly lording over us - the duality of us being powerful (in the lyrics) and powerless (in the MV) here is really fascinating.

The lighting of this scene and this MV in general is top-notch. Makes them look like one big monster. And, of course, the Gothic architecture and the blood-red on the outside. It also looks like they are reaching for the light - perfect timing for the line ‘God.’

The ‘oh my god’ line is both hilarious and brilliant. The delivery makes me laugh, but also reminds me of the Addams’ family, and the way it disrupts the song and is deep and hypnotising while evoking Christian imagery is a wonderous blend of Gothic and vampire media cues.

YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS BEST SHOT OF THE MV.

More Sunoo being stalked by things.

Shadows

Shadow puppets

Grasping hands

Sunoo in the control of someone?

Menacing

Blood red

Stage

Plush and luxurious - rich vampires

He looks both incredibly powerful and incredibly powerless

Shillouettes

The shining pearls and jewels of his jacket

Lighting person you have my heart, please marry me

More of this epic lighting.

Love this moment of Sunghoon - he executes this move perfectly. I also love this section of the choreo, which kind of emulates strangulation, but also perhaps when a vampire grabs someone’s neck to bite them. And if you read it in the right context, could be considered sexy.

A few seconds ago (about 1:00 in the MV) they put their arms out, which remainds me in this context of crucifixion. But I can’t find a screenshot that has both their arms fully outstretched and Niki’s tongue in his mouth (the later making me incredibly uncomfortable). So I will just tell you about it instead of showing it.

Mind you, I guess we’ve all seen it anyway...

Omg what do you think he’s holding? Omg is that a pawn? Omg are we all pawns in his game? Wow such monumental and amazing storytelling.

I mean, it’s a well-known trope for a reason, but it’s also very overused. I also wonder why they would use it here - since Sunghoon was the protector in the trailer, and thus painted as a good guy while the others were bad. Is this supposed to be a hint that he’s actually the bad guy/brainwashed by the evil girl? And that Jungwon is the good one? Ngl I could not tell what Jungwon was holding for the life of me, except that it was not a pawn (since it was bigger) and may have been either a queen or king. Probably a queen because HYBE has enough gay rumours and they don’t need more.

Omg he burst.

Okay then...

And now they’ll look at the light? I am very concerned about how there is a growing light over my head while I lie on the ground surrounded by a circle of silent vampires.

Now I actually like this choreo for the most part - I think it’s fascinating that they chose to include the female backup dancers, since it’s something that ENHYPEN haven’t done before and which shows them as debonairs catching all the womenfolk (which is very vampire of them). However, I also hate it. First, because of how these kinds of choreographies objectify the backup dancers, whether they’re male or female. And second, because it is associated, in kpop, with sexy concepts. And I am so glad that Jungwon is in the centre but I despise how Niki is still a part of this choreo. Because HYBE clearly thought they hadn’t had enough sexy-coded choreos for this still-minor dude.

That said, I like how the women are in red and with face coverings. Although that does increase the subconscious sexiness of it, it also shows how the vampires do objectify these women, through covering their faces and seeing them literally as just sexy bags of blood.

It also adds to the nobility aesthetic of vampires.

I like how the choreo includes them in a pseudo-ballroom dance, where the women have their hands around their necks - another subversion of who is in control here, and a subversion of ENHYPEN as vampires as their likely victims are the one who show control over them.

I’m also so sorry for what I did to your face, Jungwon. I swear it was an accident.

Like this part where they’re like the opposite of each other. But not liking the butt-touching.

Yas, great choreo. Can we just release it in a minimum of 7 months, please, HYBE?

Loving whichever ruins they got to do this in - catacombs, European, and disintegrating. All vampire things. Although I wish that they went into the Korean concept of vampires more than the American and European ideas, they are pulling ALL of the Eurpoean/American vampire cards.

This MV is the European version, by the way.

Yessssss. Cropped because Niki was in the background.

Loving how Sunoo is looking at the camera.

And loving how this move is kind of seductive, but of course, also controlling.

Not going to lie, I’m a bit confused about why the moon turned into a chandelier, and why they ended up in the same scene as Niki. But I do love how the chandelier is swinging, like a pendullum (passing of time) and also like it’s hypnotising you (ahem, vampires).

It also gives a unique and sort of magical lighting effect to the scene, and, of course, is very elegant and rich (ahem, vampires).

Loving this choreo and the shadows on the walls.

The neck-snapping returns.

And Jungwon being epic in the background again.

Also really loving this sequence where they merge into each other - it’s kind of creepy in a very toned down body-horror way, is disconcerting, and, of course, we’ve got the red lighting. Also reminds me of Bohemian Rhapsody for some reason, but that’s not a bad thing because the ‘oh my god’ line reminds me of that song too, and that song had a lot of inspiration from and impact on the Gothic.

Ahh yes, Jay and his horse. On a cold, moonlit night. Very vampire, very Gothic. I don’t know why he suddenly has a horse when Sunghoon had one in the trailer, but I’ll take it I guess.

YESSS

YESSSSSSS

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

We’ve seen hints previously, but this sequence shows that Sunghoon and Jungwon are dealing with a chessboard. An actual chessboard. And since it is on both sides, it is, again a mirror. Whcih implies to me that they are the same person....? Um some meaning may have been lost in translation, HYBE.

Anyway, the reason I pointed out the floor earlier is because now we can see that it IS the chessboard. They are all pawns in the game of Sunghoon and Jungwon... who are pawns in their own game... who may be the same person... who are probably both being controlled by someone else.... and the girl is suspiciously absent in this MV despite being such a big part of the trailer.... hmmmm wow I wonder what happened here?

In case anyone was wondering, that is indeed sarcasm.

Still loving the duo choreo for all reasons other than Niki.

Pls don’t look at me like that.

Love how Niki’s just levetation-vibing.

Bruv this would be the perfect place to have a werewolf cameo. When the vampires stand in the bloody ruins of their castle.

Ahh welll.

Mind you, the lights going out was a part of Drunk-Dazed when the werewolves went for Sunoo, so it could be a nod to them.

This bit sounds like it came from the webtoon, but since I haven’t read it, I don’t know.

I’m also not sure why I imagine Jungwon being the one to say it, when it’s usually Jay and Jake.

Conclusions

I love that it brought back the vampires, and I hate that it didn’t bring back the werewolves. There was a sad lack of blood and a wonderous abundance of Gothic tropes.

As I predicted in the beginning, it’s already grown on me, even over the short period it took me to write this. I realised that the only things I had against it were the lack of my favourite ENHYPEN things (excessive amounts of blood, werewolves, bizarre symbolism, and loud hype music). And, as much as I love the choreo, it was held back for me initially (and still is) by the fact that it is so intensely sexy-coded, and my dude Niki is still in this group. If it released in a few months, or preferably years, I would be on top of it. Let’s hope that the fans don’t behave too rabid this time. I’m going to look forward to watching the stage performances of this (and avoiding Niki), and to what their next comeback, and &TEAM’s comeback, do with this.

Hint: It’s probably not going to be anything.

#enhypen #engene #enhypen theories #bite me #dark moon

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quantummindclassicalheart · 1 year

Text

I posted 6,184 times in 2022

That's 2,433 more posts than 2021!

29 posts created (0%)

6,155 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@/naamahdarling

@/ladyshinga

@/astridbecks

@/bunjywunjy

@/sashthesloth

I tagged 4,829 of my posts in 2022

Only 22% of my posts had no tags

#kqueuequeueoverrsquared - 1,824 posts

#critical role - 431 posts

#cr spoilers - 89 posts

#miraculous ladybug - 87 posts

#widojest - 59 posts

#the locked tomb - 58 posts

#ref - 52 posts

#essek thelyss - 51 posts

#this is an essek blog now - 49 posts

#the owl house - 40 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#and a very sneaky implied rhyme in the lines that bookend the song– ‘we��re in for a scar’ is a five-syllable rhyme for ‘laerryn coramar’

My Top Posts in 2022:

twelve Essek Thelyss valentines/pick-up lines that no one asked for

Are you a Gravity Sinkhole? Because I'm feeling a powerful attraction to you.

Can I quantum tunnel my way into your classically forbidden region?

My favorite food is soups, but I'm thinking of eating out tonight.

Do you have truesight? Because you see right through me, valentine.

Let me show you a kindness.

No war crimes tonight, valentine. Unless you are into-- look, I said I was sorry--

Valentine, I'm walking on air whenever I’m with you.

The inexorable flow of linear time isn't the only thing I'm violating tonight.

Do you believe in love at first sight, or shall I invoke Fortune's Favor and reroll my Charisma check?

Can you clear the cats off the bed, valentine?

Have you been bound to a Luxon Beacon? Because I think you're conse-cute.

Of my many regrets, loving you will never be one of them.

(edit: now with art by @ultrainfinitequest! see also: nein Caleb Widogast valentines)

121 notes - Posted February 9, 2022

There's something delightful about the Percy & Ashton interaction in C3E36 that speaks to a similarity between Taliesin's characters. Like, Ashton sees this formal, prissy old aristocrat who they sort of assume has never really known suffering or loss, and they treat him accordingly.

And while Percy definitely thinks Ashton is young and naive, he also sees something familiar in Ashton and the way he both lashes out and clings desperately to this bunch of weirdos he's found and has become determined to protect. It's not enough to make him like Ashton, but it earns a little bit of recognition, and Matt and Taliesin played both halves of this interaction so well.

235 notes - Posted October 11, 2022

There is an old folk song that is sung in Exandria. It goes by a lot of titles--In Marquet it’s commonly known as The Liar’s Love, while natives of Xhorhas would know it as The Fey Groom, and the elves of Syngorn’s version has a title that translates to “The Sacrifice of Truth for Love.”

This is one bard’s rendition of the song in Common, as accompanied by ukulele.

(Best with headphones! With credit for the original idea to @ihaveatypeanditstrickstergods and the original characters to @quiddie and Sam Riegel. Album art generated by Craiyon.)

Lyrics below the cut.

Refrain: This sordid scene, my love, we're in, oh, We're in for a scar And yet tonight by morning light I'll fall for you once more.

Verse 1: There once was a fey who chanced one day From lands so wild and strange For stories told worth more than gold Exandria's face would change.

Among the clouds a city bright And there its beating heart Did kindle love within his own For her he'd craft his art.

Verse 2: A vision clear did guide his dear With this its one refrain Her city’d rise beyond the skies And loose its mortal chain

Beneath the streets his love did seek Her dream at any cost, But fortune claimed its pound of flesh, A friend too soon was lost.

Verse 3: The fey saw true that if they knew, Her legacy’d be blight And so he lied to deftly hide Her deeds from public sight.

And though his heart was ever hers, Her work, for now, meant more She’d fix them soon when she was done So he walked out the door.

Verse 4: And soon an hour of arcane pow’r Was finally at hand For on that night, with her Leywright She’d make them understand

But one thing more stood in her way Her masterpiece abjured She struck it down, and with that spell Calamity ensured.

Verse 5: And with her sin the fiends poured in With death and fire and hate, But one last spell at ruin’s knell Might change Exandria’s fate.

His healing words would keep her hale, Her spellwork holding fast, And at the heart they’d both go down Her work complete at last.

Refrain: This sordid scene, my love, we're in, oh, We're in for a scar And yet tonight by morning light I'll fall with you once more.

270 notes - Posted November 5, 2022

I added some more lyrics to this post by @/mikkeneko and @/neraitsuze. Karaoke track from here.

lyrics:

i heard from our sweet boy you guys took a trip into the city and as i understand he said dad told him weird things 'bout demons and ghosts and then more demons while you both watched the band he said you got all weirdly intense when you talked about his future as he sipped lemonade darling will you explain them your reasons and what the fuck you meant by the so-called black parade

322 notes - Posted January 28, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

For those of you who weren't in Twitch chat last night, you missed this incredible bit of lore.

2,549 notes - Posted May 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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our-flag-means-love · 4 months

Text

earlier this year i made this playlist with the target audience of Specifically Myself, comprised of s1's story and some s2 predictions, but as you may have noticed, s2 has since come out. as such, i think it's time for:

Ed x Stede, as told by The Killers (SEASON 2 UPDATE)

19 songs, 76 minutes in total.

(also on youtube, if you don't use spotify or aren't able to listen in order, which is the recommended way of consuming it)

in addition to adding new songs, i'm also going to be revising my explanations throughout the whole playlist, so even if you read the s1 post, there will be some new stuff to enjoy too!

explanation and lyric highlights for each song can be found under the cut. last time i tried to keep things concise but this time all bets are off. a full paragraph per song.

also! i recognize that an hour and 16 minutes is quite the time investment to ask of anyone, so here is my recommendation for abridged listening, the songs for which i think listening to the whole thing really does enhance the experience: #5, #7, #10, #14, #18, #19, clocking in at 24 minutes. and if you're going to listen to ONE SONG, make it #14.

(lyrics are mostly taken from genius but a few parts are just what i know to be true in my heart if i think genius is wrong)

1. boy

this can be read as either an ed childhood song or a stede childhood song, or both. feeling awkward in your own skin, feeling confined to your hometown and unable to reach your full potential. things i definitely think both of them felt as they grew up.

these streets / weren't meant to house / jet-fueled engine dreams

2. When You Were Young

BANGER ALERT!!! this song is for sure about ed's childhood and religious trauma because i mean come ON.

you sit there in your heartache / waiting on some beautiful boy to / to save you from your old ways

he doesn't look a thing like jesus / but he talks like a gentleman / like you imagined when you were young

3. I Can't Stay

my apologies for jumping straight from the arguably best song on this playlist to the definitely worst song on this playlist. but it had to be done, because this one's about stede leaving mary.

in the dark / for a while now /[...]/ i can't stay / much longer / riding my decision home

4. The Man

this one's about Blackbeard™. despite the title, this is the "myth" and "legend" part of the phrase "the man, the myth, the legend." tall, broad, head made of smoke, nine guns, etc. the terror of the seven seas.

don't try to teach me / i got nothing to learn / 'cause baby i'm gifted

i got skin in the game / i don't feel no pain / i got news for you baby, you're looking at the man

5. Flesh And Bone

another BANGER ALERT!!! and remember how i brought up "the man, the myth, the legend"? well, this is the "man" part, because as it turns out, ed is an actual person too. one who's aging and growing tired of piracy.

but i'm not sure how / this natural selection / picked me out to be / a dark horse running in a fantasy

what are you afraid of? / and what are you made of? / flesh and bone / and i'm running out of time

6. Tidal Wave

they! are! in! love! for the first verse the pronouns could be read either way, but then for the second verse "he" is stede and "she" is ed (you'll see why) bc damnit i'm taking this song from the hets, it's mine now.

you say this life has given you nothing / you got another thing coming

now the story of / forbidden love / has gotta make a stand

7. Andy, You're A Star

on a surface level reading, this song is about high school sports. but if you dig a bit deeper, the izzy can be found. in this song, the narrator greatly admires andy and his skills, but uh oh! andy is prioritizing love over fame and success! this simply will not do!

in a car with a girl / promise me she's not your world / 'cause andy, you're a star / in nobody's eyes but mine

8. Mr. Brightside

is this song overplayed? hell yes! is it also the best song to illustrate stede's feelings about ed and calico jack! you bet your ass it is!

jealousy / turning saints into the sea / swimming through sick lullabies / choking on your alibis

9. Neon Tiger

the law has finally caught up with stede, but ed is determined to protect him from chauncey's wrath at all costs. gonna be honest, this song might be the weakest fit on this whole list. so sue me, idk.

you're far too pure and bold / to suffer the strain of the hand and its hold

run neon tiger / there's a price on your head / they'll hunt you down and gut you / i'll never let 'em touch you

10. Leave The Bourbon On The Shelf

once again, BANGER ALERT!!! who's jennifer? we only know stede bonnet. and ed misses him. he's drinking and depressed in his blanket fort and ready to snap with enough prodding (from izzy, obvs). for the last 10-ish seconds, i want you to picture ed's smile right before he pushes lucius overboard.

before you say goodbye / leave the bourbon on the shelf / and i'll drink it by myself / and i love you endlessly / darling, don't you see? / i'm not satisfied / until i hold you tight

11. Everything Will Be Alright

stede is determined to find ed and do whatever it takes to get to him. he's not ready to believe that they're over. they're just on a break.

i'm coming to find you / if it takes me all night / wrong until / you make it right

you don't need to compromise / i'm dreaming 'bout those dreamy eyes

12. The Rising Tide

in my s1 playlist i referred to this as an angry ed breakup song, but upon further examination, i really think ed is the person the song is about rather than the narrator (although tbh, imagining both the "i"s and the "you"s as ed works solidly well). this song represents his mental health spiral.

before life and the dream collide / 'cause the truth's gonna come and cut me open wide

and the company you keep / well they plan your crucifixion as we speak

13. Rut

now ed's in the gravy basket. part of him wants to give up, but the rest wants to keep fighting, he's just not sure how. this song—particularly the ending, the desperation in the repeated "don't you give up on me"s—is also ed's pov of the eventual reunion.

i've done my best defending / but the punches are starting to land / i'm sliding into something you won't understand

but don't give up on me / 'cause i'm just in a rut / i'm climbing but the walls keep stacking up

14. My List

this and #18 are the songs i couldn't make work on the s1 playlist that i'm so glad i got to include this time. god i love this one so much and it's so perfect for stede's pov of the reunion. the quiet lamentation in the first half. the desperation in the second half. top tier shit. it's so perfectly stede in that scene. move over, kate bush.

and when you come back in from nowhere / do you ever think of me?

when your heart / is not able / and your prayers / they're not fables /[...]/ let me show you how much i care

15. Have All The Songs Been Written?

now the boys need to talk, and maybe stede has some apologizing to do. he knows how much he hurt ed, and he wants to make amends. he wants to win him back over if at all possible.

have all the songs been written? / have all your needs been met? / have all these years been worth it / or am i the great regret?

i just need one more to get through to you / i can't take back what i've done wrong

16. For Reasons Unknown

this is around s2e5. they're on good terms but still insecure, still warming back up to each other, and still taking things slow. full disclosure: i let myself add this song because i was sad about having to cut "bones" and this one i could make fit better.

with one deep breath / and one big step / i move a little bit closer

and my lips / they don't kiss / they don't kiss the way they used to / and my eyes don't recognize you no more

17. Be Still

i wanted to use "bones" for when they fuck. i really really did. but it just didn't fit the tone. stede just killed someone intentionally for the first time, and he's still running on all those complicated emotions as he and ed have some of the sweetest and most awkward sex ever imagined by man.

don't break character / you've got a lot of heart / is this real or just a dream?

when you come back / tell me, what did you see? / was there something out there for me?

18. A Matter Of Time

UNDERRATED DEEP CUT ALERT!!! as mentioned in #14, i'm psyched to include this song. this is their s2e7 breakup. the drama, the conflict. stede laughing with his girlfriends, so to speak, as ed sits in his own emotions. two people trying and failing to make it work.

i see you / laughing with your girlfriends / not a care in the world / not a burden on your mind / it was a matter of time

can't you see that it's tearing me up inside? / look what's laying at our feet / that's the wreckage of broken dreams

19. All These Things That I've Done

one final time, with conviction: BANGER ALERT!!! ed has to come to terms with himself. he must accept the parts of him that can kill and the parts of him that can love in equal measure. it's the only way for him to find peace, and to hold on long enough to retire with stede.

these changes ain't changing me / the cold-hearted boy i used to be

while everyone's lost / the battle is won / with all these things that i've done

if you've stuck around with me for this long, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! hopefully either your brain was already as rotted by this band as mine is or i've indoctrinated you by now. i'm also in the (slow, very very slow) process of making a video edit set to "all these things that i've done" and i'll update this post with the link when (if) that's eventually done!

#gonna reuse this tag i used for the s1 playlist:#my brain is full of worms who are all riding on a sam's town record as it rotates and i'm making it everyone's problem #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd playlist #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #stede bonnet #edward teach #ed teach #the killers

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keeper-of-all-the-random-things · 1 year

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Jack and Diane

A Soundtrack for a Day

Written seven years ago for a high school creative writing assignment. I remembered that I wrote this after seeing @blackrosesandwhump song title prompts.

It's mostly unedited from when I handed it in except for a few extra commas here and there. Also, I left out the last couple sections because they didn't fit well with the rest of the story, and I didn't feel like changing them at this point. (The title doesn't really make sense without the rest of the story, but it is what it is.)

CW: character death - infant and adult, both off screen; grief, depression; Please let me know if I missed anything.

In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on. - Robert Frost

1. Sleep All Day, Jason Mraz - 2:00

Jocelyn turned over in her bed struggling to maintain the oblivion that she worked so hard to fall into. In dreams, she was happy. In dreams, she could forget she was alone, that her son could never come back, that her husband would never return. That she was alone.

2. I’m In Here, Sia - 6:00

Unable to sleep anymore, Jocelyn sat up in the darkness, her knees pulled up to her chest. Her dark brown hair fell raggedly around her face and over her arms. The permanently closed maroon curtains blocked out even the smallest bits of morning light. The room was small, but it seemed to Jocelyn that the rose walls disappeared into a grey twilight in which she was just a speck, invisible in the eyes of the universe. She stared unseeing into the growing void as tears streamed silently down her face.

3. Here For You, Jeremy Jordan & Jonathan Reid Gealt - 12:00

Caroline, Jocelyn’s neighbor and sister, came over that day, as she had every Saturday for the last ten months. She made her way through the squeaky screen door at the back of the yellow ranch. Walking down the deeply shadowed hallways, she sighed in resigned frustration at the signs of neglect - the dusty bookshelves, the small pile of dishes in the kitchen sink, the musty air of the unused rooms. Caroline knocked gently at her sister’s bedroom door before entering and sitting on the edge of the bed. Jocelyn continued to sit hugging her knees.

“Jocelyn,” Caroline reached out to take her hand, “Lyn, honey. I’m worried about you. It’s been almost a year. You need to get out of the house. Eat. Take a walk. Anything.”

“I can’t,” Jocelyn whispered.

Caroline took a deep breath and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, they were damp. She squeezed Jocelyn’s hand.

“Please, Lyn,” she said. “You’re so thin. You can’t stay like this.”

Jocelyn said nothing but laid back down on her side.

Caroline ran her fingers through her thinning hair and over her face. “I’ll go make you some lunch,” she said as she slowly left her spot on the bed.

Jocelyn was still, ready to delve back into her dark solitude.

4. Small Bump, Ed Sheeran - 12:45

Caroline sat at the round wooden table in the kitchen. Jocelyn’s uneaten sandwich sat in front of her. Grey light flowed from the window above the sink, threatening rain. Caroline looked around her at the nearly empty white cabinets and dirty dishes that were mostly hers. She ate part of the sandwich and thought about the last few months.

Jocelyn and her husband had been so happy to finally be having a child. They picked out both girl and boy’s names ahead of time and prepared the room across from theirs in shades of green with a wooden bassinet in the center. Jocelyn would smile every time the baby moved and spent much of her free time in the green room. At each trip to the doctor, they were assured of their son’s good health and well-being. But after only eight months, he was born, cold and still.

It was a while before Caroline got up. She threw out what was left of the sandwich and set about tidying the kitchen. When she finished, she cleaned again just to keep busy. Every so often, she would check up on Jocelyn to find her curled in the same position as before. After cleaning and checking four times, she went home.

5. Learn to Be Lonely, Minnie Driver & Simon Lee - 15:00

The silence was deafening. Jocelyn remembered the sounds her husband would make around the house when he got home from work. He would always drop his keys in the bowl on the kitchen table and make coffee before bed, though she didn’t know how he could sleep after.

She rolled over onto her back, pressing her hands against her ears. A soundless scream passed her lips and sobs wracked her body as she thought of the night the police came to the house instead. There’s been an accident, they said. We’re very sorry.

6. Iris, The Goo Goo Dolls - 15:15

Jocelyn laid still for several minutes, exhausted with grief. She knew Caroline was right, but she felt like she was drowning. Gradually she got out of bed, mustering up all that was left of her will power. She traveled down the long expanse of her hall to the kitchen where she fell heavily into one of the light wood chairs. Restless, she got up again and walked listlessly around her house. She stopped at the closed door of the green room. Jocelyn put a hand on the still shiny door knob and paused. Iris, The Goo Goo Dolls - 15:15

7. Are We There Yet, Ingrid Michaelson - 16:00

Caroline came back over that afternoon with a bag of groceries. She found Jocelyn asleep by the green room. A sad smile found its way to her lips, and she went to the kitchen to unpack and make dinner. It began to rain lightly outside.

Jocelyn woke up shortly before dinner was finished. She looked around her, unsure of where she was for a moment. She moved to the kitchen where Caroline was working and sat beside her. She gave a tired smile.

“Welcome back to the world,” Caroline joked lightly. “God,” she said seriously, “I hardly see you awake anymore. I’ve missed you.”

Jocelyn ran a hand over her eyes. “It’s so hard,” she said quietly. “I keep thinking that when I turn around, he’ll be there. We were married almost ten years. After the incident, I would see my friends with their children and wonder why we couldn’t be that lucky.” SHe took a shaky breath and heaved a dry laugh. “And then the police came, and I didn’t know what to do.”

8. I Can’t Let Go, Jennifer Hudson - 18:00

Caroline and Jocelyn shared a warm dinner, and Caroline got up to go home. She gave JPcelyn a long tight hug.

“Call me if you need anything,” she said. “I’m always around.”

The light rain had turned into a downpour, and the grey light was quickly giving way to darkness. Jocelyn went to the living room and sat on the wooden rocker by the window. Tears ran down her face as she thought of how this night could have been, but they lacked the usual pain that came with them. She fell asleep listening to the rain pounding on the roof.

9. Baby Mine, Kassie DePaiva & Jim Brickman - 22:30

10. Jack and Diane, John Cougar Mellencamp - 23:00

#my high school writing #character death #stillborn baby #grief #depression

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cyclone-rachel · 5 years

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Dreams to Reminisce on Roofless Time

a Supergirl fanfic

read on AO3 here

She's familiar with what she sees, of course, when she opens the box.

It's no secret to her, or any of her family, that her mother is (was, she reminds herself, as the word weighs heavy on her heart) the Dreamer. Or just Dreamer, as those on Naltor called her, as she stopped crime with the use of her dreaming powers. There are pictures in Nia's house, of her mother in the super-suit, and Maeve has asked many times for her to try it on again, just one more time, please?

(She relented, eventually, but insisted she wasn't going to go back into the hero business again. That would be for one of her daughters, most likely, when they were older.)

(Maeve always looked especially hopeful, whenever she said that, drawing both of her daughters into a hug. And when she did, there was a small part of Nia who wanted to tell her: it could be me, it could always be me. You don't know it'll be you.)

Not that Nia had ever wanted the powers, she reflected as she would re-read Cat Grant's biography, taking notes on it while half-heartedly watching her sister paint. It wasn't a perspective she liked, but even she had to face the possibility that the powers would never come to her. She hadn't been sure how they worked, but surely they would seek out the person who was worthy of them, Mjolnir-style. They'd completely bypass her, and imbue her sister with their gifts, like she had wanted all along. She would wear this super-suit, and this mask, and protect Parthas- or even some other city- while Nia left in search of a reporting career. They'd send each other postcards, or letters, and everything would be fine. And more importantly, it would go according to plan.

Something that went out the window when Nia fell asleep on her desk, in her first week at Catco, and then again when she dreamt of someone with a baseball bat swinging towards a blue-skinned alien, and actually stopped it from happening not even an hour later.

Using the powers made her guilty, at first. She'd thought, at the beginning, that maybe not using them would make them go away, redirect them to the person who deserved them more- and then Kara gave her the “our powers are like muscles” line, which stung with the realization that she might be stuck with them forever, that she had no choice but to use them.

And using them was more than a little bit scary, she had to admit, remembering the dream that led to her rescuing Brainy, and the one that led her to team up with Kara and Brainy in the first place. But it also filled her with energy, the same way writing a good article did, and in those moments she sometimes, sometimes, considered using them more.

But then she'd had to go home, and face Maeve, and those unfinished dreams fell as she imagined her sister's disapproving face, the anger and resentment on it as she watched her save people, thinking: It should've been me. That should be me, out there.

Maeve wasn't in National City, she knew that, but she'd have to tell her someday, and she dreaded that. Hated the burden of the secret she carried, and dreaded finally letting it escape, how her sister would react.

And now that that was in the past, she knew it had been even worse than she'd feared. But it was gone, and she could let those fears go. She could be Dreamer now, finally, carrying the true blessing of her mother in her memories rather than the potential- and now real- jealousy of her sister.

But she wouldn't be jealous forever, as much as she'd believed that on the ride home, and as Kara reminded her, she still loved her sister. They would heal, some day, and she had to hold onto that hope too.

Just like she was hoping she would do the Dreamer name justice, and uphold that legacy just as well as Maeve could have.

She reaches for the Dreamer costume, then, after realizing she'll have to put her clothes on over it later.

(She wonders how Supergirl- how Kara- does it, changing in and out of her suit so quickly, and hopes she'll teach her that secret.)

Superhero lessons 101, The Art of the Quick-Change, she thinks, as she slowly puts her suit on, and looks forward to her first lesson. She can't learn it soon enough.

Nia's never seen the suit in full, she realizes as she adjusts it, and she's never thought about just how tight it could be. But once she has it on, noticing how it's slightly asymmetrical, how the different shades of blue complement each other and how shiny the white and silver parts are, she starts liking it more and more. She pulls on the boots first after the suit, then the gloves, and finally places the mask over her face, making sure it doesn't obscure her vision.

And as she poses in the mirror, first strutting towards it like a model before striking some fighting stances, acting like she's going to fly somewhere (she can't, but she indulges in that fantasy for a moment or two) before resuming the fighting poses.

The warehouse was really the only fight she's ever been in, but she has to imagine she'll be in more, and that Supergirl and Brainy will have to train her in that. She's still a little bit afraid of that, getting in more fights, but with preparation, she hopes she'll be every bit the hero she imagines her mom was.

(Her mother had white hair back then, too- on Earth, she decided to dye her hair platinum blonde before it returned to its natural shade as Nia got older. She can't imagine herself with white hair, but hers looks just as good against the costume, as she flips it over her shoulders and places her hands on her hips in front of the mirror.)

"My name is Nia Nal." she says, in her best imitation of Supergirl's voice. "Wait." she says then, returning to her normal voice. "No, no, I can't say that."

"I'm Dreamer." she starts over, still in her power pose. "I'm here to save you!"

She'll have to work on a catchphrase, and some quips (is she going to be the type of hero who uses puns? She hasn't decided yet), but right now, she falls back on her bed, dissolving into a fit of giggles as she stares at the ceiling, the box sitting beside her.

"I'm a superhero." she says, out loud, after calming down. "I'm a hero. I'm Dreamer."

It sounds more real each time she says it, and by the time her roommate comes in, knocking on her door, there's a big smile on her face.

She's used to the costume now, she thinks as she gets off of the bed and looks at her image in the mirror one more time. And as reluctant as she was, at first, she has to admit that now, it fits like a dream.

That thought makes her laugh again, and-

"Nia? You okay in there?"

"Yeah!" she shouts back, before opening the door.

"Actually... I want to show you something."

#papa don't look #supergirl #fanfics #supergirl spoilers #nia nal #dreamer #supergirl season 4 #minifics #i hope this is good?#i wrote this pretty much all while in the car #and in the notes app of my phone #i didn't expect it to be this long #also i picked the title because 1. i was looking up songs with 'dream' in them #and i came across the song 'small dreams' by alexz johnson #who is of course the actress who played imra/saturn girl on smallville #which seemed appropriate

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