#also may or may not delete this after sending in the resume

[disonuronyou]

Onur x Zara | In The DMs

Description: Onur spots Zara watching one of his live streams on Twitch, so when he ends his stream, he takes a chance and sends her a message. A pleasant surprise: she messages back right away.

Yellow light glowed as Onur’s screensaver displayed a forest scene filled with bright yellow Pikachus, one of his fans had created the desktop background for him and he loved it. He smiled every time he looked at it. But as he studied the details of the image, counting Pikachus, no smile graced his face. He had his headphones around his neck, the microphone muted momentarily. His cell phone was pressed to his ear as his father jabbered on from the other line. He was fussing, but at least he was coherent this time around. “And you swear to me your house is clean? Money may not be a problem for you, but living in filth? Unacceptable. You know this, son.” Onur sighed audible then said, “Yeah dad, I know this. The house is clean, I swear.” He tried not to take offense to the underhanded accusation. He was a young man living alone so the stereotype, of course, implied his house should be a mess of dirty laundry and piled up trash. He glanced around the room, whatever was visible to the camera he used to stream was pristine. His bed made, his carpet still had vacuum lines. Although he did have a basket of unwashed clothes hidden in his closet, he would get to it by the end of the week. “Okay, son. I trust you. You really should consider having your mother and I come over for dinner. I know you must miss her cooking.” Onur nodded even though his father wouldn’t see it. “Yeah, dad, maybe.” He turned to his PC and shook the mouse gently. The screen shifted back to a web browser, his Twitch stream was currently paused, he knew better than to be gone for too long, or else his viewer count would plummet. “Listen, dad, I gotta go. Gotta get back to work. Okay, I love you. And mom too.” The ‘I love you’ was mandatory and therefor forced. Still, he didn’t want to agitate his father, or give the older man any reason to feel doubtful… a feeling his father was good at evoking. “Okay son. We love you too.” Onur clicked to end the call, and tossed his phone to the side.

A little green blip appeared on his screen, another influencer was online… that gamer girl who also did make up tutorials. She was gorgeous as ever in her little profile picture, “I should… talk to her.” Onur shook his head and resumed his livestream, deciding silently he would shoot her a casual message in a few hours. A private message, away from the public eye. Hours passed as he played through Detroit: Become Human… the game was all about the decisions you made as one character effecting the outcomes for other characters later on. He fell into his routine of eyeing the chat, discussing various topics but mainly focusing on the story line of the game. After 3 hours, his hands were cramping, his fingers sore. Early onset carpel tunnel was surely in his future. Signing off quickly and casually, he noted that the influencer he wanted to message, a woman named Zara was still online. He hoped she’d been actively watching his live, imagined her beautiful face focused on him. He ended the stream hoping his thoughts were not revealed in his face. “Okay, okay it cool.” He told himself as he opened a new window and searched her username. She popped up, a green bubble still next to her name. He was relieved she was still online, he had a chance yet. Fingers still tired, he tapped out a quick message. “Hey! Just wanted to say, I love your content.” He added a thumbs up emoji, but quickly deleted it. He substituted for a smile face, figuring that was the safest option as far as emojis went. “Now, we wait.” He sighed, taking a moment to step away from his screen. His eyes could barely take anymore light…

Zara might have been a popular Twitch streamer, known for playing silly 'cozy' games and also doing makeup and other variety streams, but she also was a typical young adult woman from a traditional Indian family. She lived at home with her Father and younger sister - her two paternal half-siblings lived in their own homes with their respective partners nearby. Zara had taken care of her Mother as an older teenager before she passed away, leaving the matriarchal family torch in Zara's hands. On screen she was happy, bubbly, and easily kept the attention of her viewers. Behind the screen she was an easily depressed, lonely girl who felt like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders as she navigated running the family home and emotionally taking care of her still grieving Father. She had seen Onur around before but the two had never really spoken. He had once walked past her at a function and she remembered musing to a cousin later that night on the phone that he was tall and smelled good. She, like many others, thought he was gorgeous and she enjoyed his streams, but her thoughts about him ended there. Until she got a message from him just as he was wrapping up a stream that she had been watching, the girl surprised. Quickly, she replied back. "Omg, hey! I was just watching you, haha. What a coincidence that you reached out."

Onur had sent the message quickly, a nervous energy surging through him so he got up and paced his bedroom for a bit. His thoughts were speeding up when a ping! from the computer sent him shuffling back to his chair. Zara had replied almost instantly. This was exciting for Onur who was used to getting attention online but not used to having lots of friends messaging him regularly. Excitement began to shift into hope. Onur cracked his knuckles after reading the message, then he set himself to typing our a clever and charismatic reply. "You were watching me? I'm so flattered! I hope my stream was entertaining. What did you think? The graphics for the game are pretty spectacular, not unlike your natural make up look. The word flawless comes to mind. Haha!" His finger hovered over the 'Enter' button. Hesitation set in and he re-read his message twice, scouting for typos.

He wondered if she'd watched any of his other streams, the ones where he was actually outside being active. Onur thought those were his best work because they show-cased him meeting a challenge head-on and succeeding or failing with grace. The video game streams were fun, and kind of easy. But he worried that they were too boring. Onur finally hit send, and began to spin around in his chair. His bedroom walls turned to a blur as he imagined Zara's face in person: Perfect. Pristine. He wasn't a self-conscious young man, but couldn't help thinking that standing next to her, he'd be the least attractive by a mile.

Zara wasn't as nervous to receive messages back from Onur, but when she started catching feelings for the man, even seeing him type to her would start to get her heart racing. "Of course I was watching your stream. I catch it when I can, haha. And omg, thank you. Don't lie to me and tell me you watch my makeup tutorials :D" The woman typed back after receiving his next message. The woman would suggest they do a collab and have one another on their respective streams if he didn't beat her to it - she felt it could be fun to work with someone she was a fan with along with knowing that it would be good for views. But for now, she didn't ask, instead wanting to see where the conversation would go naturally.

Another ping! and Onur's head snapped back towards his computer screen, his screensaver showing a forest scene of Pikachus again. He shook his mouse with vigor and the screen lit up to show the chatbox with Zara's little icon on one side, his icon on the other. She had responded again and Onur was beginning to feel pleased with himself. What a great idea this had been, he was thinking to himself as his fingers danced across the keyboard. "Of course I watch your make up tutorials, they're so relaxing!" This part was true, he did enjoy her make up tutorials, not because he needed to know more about make up and how to apply it, but because her voice soothed his soul. This donned on him in the moment and he considered typing this out to her. But no, that would be too much too soon. So he settled on: "I don't wear make up but if I did, I'd be copying your looks left and right." Onur's stomach growled, reminding him to eat. He realized he hadn't had any food since breakfast, but he ignored this in lieu of talking more with Zara. "Although, I must admit, I love to watch your gaming streams, too. I think you're more skilled than I." He wanted to ask her more, his mind suddenly blossoming with personal questions... All in due time, he told himself quietly. He hit Enter with commitment.

#OxZ001

[youroriginaltimemachinestudent]

How To Delete Olymp Trade Account? Step By Step Guide 2023

Hello, guys if you searching for How To Delete Olymp Trade Account then you visited at corrected and latest article. Follow our below article to learn more about of deleting process. Olymp Trade is a popular online trading platform that allows traders to invest in various assets, including forex, stocks, commodities, and cryptocurrencies. However, if you're no longer interested in using the platform, you may want to delete your Olymp Trade account. In this article, we'll guide you through the steps to delete your Olymp Trade account and explain what you should consider before doing so.

How To Delete Olymp Trade Account

Follow This Step By Step Guide To Delete Your Olymp Trade Account Step 1: Withdraw Your Funds Before deleting your Olymp Trade account, you must withdraw any remaining funds in your account. To do so, log in to your Olymp Trade account and go to the "Withdrawal" section. Select the payment method you prefer and enter the withdrawal amount. Olymp Trade processes withdrawals within 24 hours, but it may take longer depending on the payment method you choose. Step 2: Cancel Any Active Trades If you have any active trades, you must close them before deleting your Olymp Trade account. To close a trade, go to the "Trades" section and select the trade you want to close. Click on the "Close" button and confirm your decision. Once you've closed all your active trades, you can proceed to the next step. Step 3: Contact Olymp Trade Support To delete your Olymp Trade account, you must contact their customer support team. You can do so by sending an email to [email protected] or by using the live chat feature on their website. In your message, explain that you want to delete your account and provide your account details, such as your email address and phone number. Olymp Trade support will guide you through the process and may ask for additional information to verify your identity. Step 4: Wait for Confirmation After you've contacted Olymp Trade support, you'll need to wait for their confirmation. They may ask you to provide additional information or ask you to confirm your decision to delete your account. Once they've confirmed that your account will be deleted, they'll provide you with a timeframe for when the deletion will take place. Step 5: Verify That Your Account Has Been Deleted After the specified timeframe, log in to your Olymp Trade account to verify that it has been deleted. If you can no longer access your account, it means that your account has been successfully deleted.

Things to Consider Before Deleting Your Olymp Trade Account

Before deleting your Olymp Trade account, there are a few things you should consider: - Your Trading History Deleting your Olymp Trade account will also delete your trading history. If you want to keep a record of your trades, you should download them before deleting your account. - Your Personal Information Olymp Trade may retain some of your personal information, such as your name and email address, even after you delete your account. If you're concerned about your privacy, you should contact Olymp Trade support to request that they delete all your personal information. - Your Trading Strategy If you've developed a successful trading strategy on Olymp Trade, you may want to reconsider deleting your account. Instead, you can stop using the platform for a while and come back later to resume trading.

What Is Olymp Trade?

Traders can invest in a variety of financial assets, including FX, equities, indices, cryptocurrencies, and commodities, through the online trading platform Olymp Trade. The platform is situated in Seychelles and was established in 2014. The Financial Commission oversees Olymp Trade, ensuring that the platform runs in a fair and open manner. Both inexperienced and seasoned traders can use Olymp Trade's user-friendly interface. A variety of trading tools are available on the platform, including price charts, risk management tools, and technical analysis indicators. To aid traders in honing their skills and knowledge, Olymp Trade also offers educational tools like webinars, tutorials, and market research.

Why Delete Olymp Trade Account?

There may be several reasons why someone would want to delete their Olymp Trade account. Some of these reasons include: - No longer interested in trading: If you are no longer interested in trading or have found another trading platform that suits your needs better, you may want to delete your Olymp Trade account. - Concerns about account security: If you have concerns about the security of your account or suspect that it may have been compromised, you may want to delete your Olymp Trade account. - Financial reasons: If you are facing financial difficulties or need to close your trading account for personal reasons, you may want to delete your Olymp Trade account. - Privacy concerns: If you are concerned about the collection and use of your personal information by Olymp Trade or other third-party services, you may want to delete your account to protect your privacy. - Inactivity: If you have not used your Olymp Trade account for an extended period of time and do not plan to use it in the future, you may want to delete your account to avoid inactivity fees or other charges. Ultimately, the decision to delete your Olymp Trade account is a personal one and should be based on your individual circumstances and needs.

Conclusion

Deleting your Olymp Trade account is a straightforward process that requires you to withdraw your funds, close your active trades, contact Olymp Trade support, and wait for their confirmation. Before deleting your account, make sure to consider your trading history, personal information, and trading strategy. If you decide to delete your account, remember that you can always create a new account in the future if you change your mind.

How To Delete Olymp Trade Account FAQ

How do I delete my Olymp Trade account?To delete your Olymp Trade account, you need to contact the customer support team via email or live chat and request account deletion.What information do I need to provide to delete my Olymp Trade account?You will need to provide your account details, including your registered email address and password, to delete your Olymp Trade account.Will deleting my Olymp Trade account cancel any pending trades?Yes, deleting your Olymp Trade account will cancel any pending trades and withdraw any funds in your account.Can I reactivate my Olymp Trade account after it has been deleted?No, once your Olymp Trade account has been deleted, it cannot be reactivated.What happens to my personal information after I delete my Olymp Trade account?Olymp Trade will delete all your personal information after your account has been deleted, except for the information that is required for legal purposes.Will deleting my Olymp Trade account affect my trading history?No, your trading history will be preserved even after your Olymp Trade account has been deleted.How long does it take for my Olymp Trade account to be deleted?Olymp Trade will process your account deletion request within 24 hours. However, it may take longer depending on the volume of requests they receive.Are there any fees associated with deleting my Olymp Trade account?No, there are no fees associated with deleting your Olymp Trade account.Can I delete my Olymp Trade account if I have pending withdrawals?No, you cannot delete your Olymp Trade account if you have pending withdrawals. You must withdraw all your funds and cancel any pending withdrawals before deleting your account. Read the full article

[the-tech-adeel]

How to Send WhatsApp Messages After Being Blocked?

Are you in a situation where someone on WhatsApp has blocked you and you're wondering How to Send WhatsApp messages After Being Blocked? Don't worry, because you've arrived at the right place. Just Read the article.

WhatsApp is a popular messaging app that many people use to stay in touch with friends and family. However, being blocked on the platform can be upsetting, especially if it was not your fault. But don't worry, you can still message and communicate with the blocked user.

In this article, I'll walk you through the process of communicating with a WhatsApp user who has blocked you. You can successfully contact the person and resume your conversation if you follow these steps. It is critical to read the entire article to fully comprehend the process, and you can also share this information with your friends. After reading this you guys are well informed about How to send WhatsApp messages after being blocked?

Read Also: Comparing Starlink and Fiber: Which is Faster and Cheaper?

How to send WhatsApp messages after being blocked?

If a user has blocked you and you want to talk to him or send him a message, there are two steps you can take. You can easily send messages to him if you follow him. After these two steps, you can send a WhatsApp message to a person who blocked you on WhatsApp.

1. Reactivate your Whatsapp  Account

If you're thinking about deleting your WhatsApp account, you should know what that entails. When you delete your account, you will be removed from all WhatsApp groups and will have to request to rejoin them once you reactivate your account. Remember that there are some consequences to this action that you should be aware of before making your decision.

1. Open Whatsapp on your mobile/pc

2. Tap on the menu icon

3. Now click on the setting button

4. Now go to the Account section and delete your account

Simply open the WhatsApp app on your phone and follow the on-screen instructions to reactivate your account. You'll be able to message anyone once you've completed the setup process, including those who may have previously blocked you. If you delete and reactivate your account, you will no longer be blocked by anyone who previously blocked you. So, if you need to regain access to your contacts and messages, reactivate your WhatsApp account. To connect with someone after being blocked, try the second method listed below.

#tips #tricks #whatsapp #whatsapp tricks #whatsapp tips #messagingtips

[neioo]

.

#okayokayokay #found a website that allowed me to reformat my resume and it checked language and stuff like that too #and it's a 14 day free trial :o #added a summary and yeah. my mom says she may have a lead and is going to give it to somehow at her company? #this is by no means a guarantee. i thought i had 2 internships lined up in germany for example that never went anywhere #but it's something ;; #and now that my resume is less shit i feel a little better #miscellaneous #folded laundry. vaccumed. dusted #cooked lunch. edited my resume... okay. gonna leave the apartment. go walk a dog. then head to the mall and sit in starbucks and draw #lmao #part of me wants to send out more query letters but im going to wait until monday because then it will be 2 weeks since i sent out the first #batch. which is good because then i have a nice break inbetween them #*slaps face* okay getting out of my bed #also what kind of fuckery is this. i debate about deleting awh off of ao3 and suddenly it's receiving kudos and bookmarks after a long dry #period. ^^;;;..... - to have something officially published is my dream though.. and to like. make money off of it so #okay enough enough im logging off now lmao

[almadelsur]

no love allowed | j.m

Summary: Just some good ol’ angst based off the song No Love Allowed by Rihanna

Warnings: Angst, heartbreak, mentions of a breakdown, reader gets dumped, cursing.

A/N: Hey guys !! So I’ve decided to repost all of my obx content from my old account onto my new writing account, as i have now reopened my obx inbox and am writing for a few characters again!! Unfortunately due to deleting my old posts, my taglists have also been deleted and i can’t remember every account that wanted to be part of it soooooo just drop me a message if you would like me to add you to my new taglist! Hope you enjoy !! :)

911 it's a critical emergency Better run run run come and charge him with the 143 Told me his world was mine. Such a beautiful lie. Now he's done done done and this love is no more for me

JJ Maybank had been labeled a criminal at an alarmingly young age. Robbery, assault, breaking and entering, destruction of property even unlawful possession and firing of a firearm. JJ had done it all. But never did you think ‘Murder’ would be a part of that list. Throughout the entire life span of your relationship you’d ignored the prevalent warnings from everyone you’d encountered. You couldn’t count the number of times you’d rolled your eyes or scoffed everytime you’d heard your lovers name being followed by the words ‘criminal’ and ‘break you heart’. Because no matter how much the boy added to his criminal resume you just could not bring yourself to accept the title, how were you to see the dishonesty and malice of a felon behind those wide ocean eyes as he sold you a dream of desire and devotion? Maybe you wouldn’t have gotten yourself to where you did if you had only opened your eyes and seen him for what he truly was. Because by the time you finally did it was too late. He’d already won.

Hand inna the air as he waves me goodbye He said he care but no tears in his eyes And ask me if I'm alright N**** is you blind

His words conked you in the head so hard that you stumbled backwards, leaving you dizzy and disoriented.

“We can still be friends though right?” The casual tone in his voice drove the blade deeper in your heart. You just could not comprehend how someone could look at you with so much love and adoration one day and then with complete insignificance the next. He may have been a criminal but you were strong. He used to say it was of the things he admired most about you. It took everything within you to look up at the cause of your demise and offer him a nod.

“Mhm” you spoke through gritted teeth, you knew you’d break at any given second and under no circumstance did you want JJ to be there when you did.

“I knew you’d understand” he stepped forwards towards you and pulled you into his arms. No. Fuck no. You held your breath, knowing that his scent dancing around your nose would send you over the edge, you didn’t bother to hug back. One, two, three and he pulled away. As the proximity of his body to yours got further and further so did your sense of self. Who even were you without JJ?

As he began walking down your front steps your body started trembling, in the span of 20 minutes your whole world had been flipped upside down leaving you in a cruel reality you didn’t even recognize.

“Are you alright?” He called over to you so nonchalantly as he hopped on his bike ready to leave you behind in the dust. You figured that after a year together he’d know you a little better than this, but maybe his sight and ability to recognize you, left along with the love he had claimed he had felt for you.

You nodded once more, unable to speak, knowing that if you did the current state of affairs would be dragged out much longer than you wanted.

“Okay well I’ll see you around? Y’know like when we’ve both healed or something?” He waved at you goodbye and disappeared down the winding road. When we’ve both healed. How could he look at you without a single trace of sadness in his eyes and say that he needed to heal. Heal from what?

As soon as you closed the door behind you, you gave up the act. Everything you knew to be true came crumbling down, the inability to differentiate between reality and fabrication causing your head to spin and breath to heave. The flood of tears pouring down your face made it hard to see so to prevent any further injury you opted out for perching down right on the spot you were and ride out the tsunami. You stayed in that same spot long enough to greet and bid farewell to the moon as it came and went signalling the start of the rest of your days without JJ’s affections.

Like a bullet your love me hit me to core I was flying til you knocked me to the floor And it's so foolish how you keep me wanting more.

“Trust me I have a plan” JJ paced back and forth through the creaking chateau.

“JJ in the entire time that you’ve known her, has she ever been shackled to anyone? Trust me bro she’s a lone wolf” John B threw his head back against the pull out sofa, he would be lying if he said he wasn’t amused by all of this. The infamous heart breaker JJ Maybank had fallen to the equally infamous heart breaker Y/N Y/L/N. He could see the way you looked at JJ and knew that the feelings were reciprocated, but it was 8pm on a Sunday, the power had yet again completely shut down and so he’d decided to entertain himself through teasing JJ in the candle lit chateau.

“Okay JB im gonna need a little more support from you here dude” and so JJ began rambling, focused on letting his bottled feelings out so that maybe just maybe the heavy feeling in his chest would lift and he’d be able to breathe again.

“Because I’m kind of freaking out here. One moment Y/N is my just best friend, the one who’d give me bandaids when I’d play too rough in the playground and- and listen to my ridiculous theories and laugh at my stupid jokes but then- and then I blink a couple of times and suddenly she’s” he paused to shrug and gesture with his hands in a meaningless pattern “she’s Y/N, this crazy beautiful clever goddess, who’s actually funny like smart funny and who doesn’t stand for anyone’s shit and breaks all these hearts cause she, and I quote, ‘rides solo’ but we all know it’s because no ones good enough for her yet she still hangs out with us and loves us and I just- I just wish she didn’t just love me because I love her but I’m also in love with her and I just I don’t know man she’s the only person who doesn’t make me feel like a worthless piece of shit” JJ was heaving, he had been way too caught up delivering his word vomit to notice your entrance into the chateau, by the time his rant was over you just stood behind him with your heart full and tears in your eyes. John B had spotted you but figured it was about time you’d heard what JJ had to say.

“Well it’s a little hard to not feel offended by that final part but uh” John B motioned his head towards you awkwardly. JJ turned around quickly and his eyes widened as soon as he met yours.

“No no no no noo” he rushed over to you with a manic look in his eyes. “How long have you been there? You weren’t supposed to hear that!! I was gonna tell you. I had a plan-“

“JJ-“ you interrupted with a whisper knowing his habit of rambling when nervous.

“No you don’t understand, I had this plan and I was going to take you on the HMS pogue tomorrow cause I know you like it on Mondays cause it’s the coldest day of the week and you like how the fog settles over the sky and blurs the sunset and you always say how beautiful it is and I was going to turn to you and tell you how beautiful you are and then tell you how I felt and now it’s all ruined”

By now tears had begun streaming down your face as you looked at your best friend, you couldn’t believe the immense beauty that radiated off him so as you placed your hands on each of his cheeks you couldn’t wait any longer, leaning over and connecting your lips in a soft, tender kiss.

The kiss was short yet you knew as soon as you pulled away that you’d never get enough of the sensation. Your eyes connected with his again and the feeling of pure adoration shot through you straight to your heart of hearts, coiling itself around and settling, making a home for itself there.

“I’m in love with you too JJ” you knew then that you belonged to him, you swore you’d do anything for the blonde, you’d even die for him.

And soon enough, you did.

I'm screaming murderer, how could you murder us I call it murder

It had been a month since your breakup, you had decided to spend your days on the mainland to avoid seeing JJ or pretty much anyone who would remind you of him. You weren’t yourself. Not anymore. You’d not only pulled away from JJ, you had pulled yourself away from everyone and anyone who’d you’d ever considered to have loved or had loved you. You had felt slightly guilty at the start when your worried friends would call you at least 30 times a day, leaving each call and message unanswered. After all how could you love anybody when your heart had been brutally ripped out of your being. After a while though they must have realised that no matter how painful the reality of the situation was, their attempts were futile, you weren’t going to come back. Not the you they knew anyway. JJ had murdered that version of you, leaving this void of a person only finding satisfaction in inflicting heartbreak.

You’d returned to the island for the summer solstice kegger, the longest day of the year was always the most legendary and you knew there would be a surge of poor naive tourons for you to play with. A part of you knew that it would be a mistake going back, you had not only lost your inamorato, you had lost your best friends as well. You’d lost your family.

It only took five minutes into arriving the kegger for you to be proved right. Kie had spotted you from a mile away and instantly ran over to you, unsure wether her brain was playing tricks on her.

“Y/N?!” Her eyes were wide as you turned to her. Fuck. Instantly a wave of guilt washed over you, stronger than the waves you had surfed during surges, what felt like a lifetime ago. As she pulled you into her arms desperately, you knew you had to get out of there, you didn’t want the feelings that you had spent countless hours trying to surpress to come rushing back.

“We were all so worried about you!! JJ told us what happened and then you just disappeared and-“ you cut her off by shrugging her arms off of you at the mention of his name. You knew that if you stayed even a second longer you’d break all over again, and if you saw him? You’d probably drop dead on the spot from the eflux of emotion.

You just rolled your eyes and scoffed “Just leave me alone Kiara” turning around and walking away from her, leaving her behind like JJ had done to you. You knew you had to be harsh, had to hurt her to ensure that she wouldn’t chase after you.

As you walked home you tried to alleviate the guilt by repeating the same mantra in your head that you had begun to live by.

No love allowed.

#jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #obx #outer banks #john b routledge #kiara carrera #rudy pankow #obx x reader #jj maybank angst #jj obx #angst #jjstuff

[teenyweenynightghost]

Måneskin Group Chat- Chapter 6

(Ok so now that I fixed the emotional mess that I created I can return to what I do best: chaos and sarcasm<3)

Warnings: Language, photos but not explicit (honestly if you’re browsing THIS side of tumblr ya should be fine)

[Måneskin House] Fri 18:57

D: Why did I just hear Vic scream

T: What?

y/n: He just heard Vic scream

y/n: did you lose your eye sight?

T: Do you have any idea just how suspicious you're acting

Y/n: Oh don't be absurd, I'm just hanging at home with my two Angl-Nubian goats, my perfect and very much alive boyfriend and a dead body

D: A what now

y/n: MY B O Y F R I E N D

y/n: Do i really need to make appointments for you two at the doctor's office? You promised last time that you would do it yourselves

D: Fuck the doctor what do you mean A DEAD BODY

T: A STATEMENT SAID RIGHT AFTER VIC'S SCREAM

y/n: hey remember dami that time she started patting your head while you were sleeping so she could post it on insta

D: OH well then please resume your activities

Y/n: Hm and THomas darling

Y/n: Who loves waking you up by throwing the speaker in your room?

T: A dead body NOw i suppose

Y/n: Glad there are no complaints

V: IS THAT WHAT IT TAKES FOR HER TO WIN YOU OVER

V: YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF VIPERS

D: Yeah but Thomas is the Cobra:D

V: FUCK ALL OF YOU especially YOU Ethan

E: Don't drag me into this

V: no? NO?

D: What did he do

V: Well, let's see, while y/n had me strapped to a chair and looking through my phone laughing her ass off at my clear discomfort, HIS BITCH ASS JUST CAME IN THERE, brushed away her stupid damn hair like 'ewu cuccolina dO yOu WanT SomEthINg to DrInK" ?

V: COMPLETELY IGNORING ME

Y/n: Awww sweetie if you wanted attention you could just ask🙃

V: Oh i'll fucking show you attention

... [cue some time later]

Y/n: Y'all vic has been pretty damn quiet hasn't she

E: NO SHE HAS NOT

D: Oooo whats thAT about

E: Y/n I didn't know you took...pictures

Y/n: oh oho Oh Oh OH OH OH

T: can i not be woken up by screams anymore why in this dirty world did y/n just scream VICTORIAAa as if she was going to kill her

Y/N: OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE HER

[switch to DMs between VicDeAngelis and YN]

Y/n: Oh this is how you wanna play you little shit baby

V: Oh well sweetheart, he's your boyfriend- why would he not enjoy that🙃

Y/n: UGH you know you're the only one who's seen them!

V: Oh believe me, I know that puppy

Y/n: oh you're bringing the puppy thing back now huh

V: Well it always made you blush in the prettiest of places

[Switch to Dms between Edgar and YN]

E: IM SORRY I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THEY WERE

y/n: Nah don't worry

y/n: However Vic on the other side has a LOT to worry about if you know what i mean ;)

E:... threesome?

Y/n: What? No-

Y/n: Oh hold up

E: Im down if you are

Y/n: I might just have an idea

[Switch to DMs between VicDeAngelis and Y/N]

y/n: hey vic, i was trying this new swimsuit on what do you think

V: something is definitely off but im not passing an opportunity of seeing anything ;)

Y/n:

V: you don’t look bad at all puppy;)

y/n: i agree- i also bought this shampoo set which is chocolate scented 

y/n: i literally smell like a dessert

V: i bet you taste like one too

Y/n: well, per ethan’s request, you’re more than welcome to join him in his discovery

V: i’ll be over in 10

... [an impressive amount of time later]

[Måneskin House]

T: which one of you motherfuckers ate all the whipping cream

V: y/n

Y/n: Me? Really? I didn’t even get to taste it

T: 😑

D: what do you me- OOOOOOHOHOHOOHOHOOHOHOH

D: HOOOOO LEEEEEEE FUUUUUUUUCKK

D: OMG  youu kinky little bastards

T: what WHAT

D: ETHAN + VIC + Y/N + WHIPPING CREAM

T: OH MY GOD

T: well fucking finally

Y/n: if one more word is uttered about this matter im deleting the group

E: five

T: five?

D: NO FUCKING WAY HOOOOO

T: OMG Y/N FIVE FUCKING TIMES?

Y/n: I will kill you all, individually, and i will do it so slowly you won’t know whether you’re alive or dead

D: kinky

Y/n: DAMIANO I SWEAR TO GOD

Y/N: fuck this im out- ethan go get me an ice pack

E: of course love

D: Damn even an ice pack

T: I never thought i would say this, but i have never been so happy to be so far away from the comfort of my home

E: Yeah two neighbours already came to complain

V: I had the pleasure of dealing with them

D: That thought alone sends shivers through my spine

V: It should

T: Anyway WHO WANTS PIZZA

Y/N: ME BITCH

T: you would think you wouldn’t be so hungry anymore

Y/n: you got the pizza or no man (spoken in a heavily italian accent)

T: hahaha making fun of our accents now huh

Y/n: nooo, me? im a good vagazza

T: OOO we ave imitating edgav now ave we

E: how about no

D: ok so how about someone actually goes and gets the pizza

T: i already ordered it

V: i love how we’re all in the same house yet we aren’t making any efforts of actually talking

y/n: talking is overrated

T: Pizza is hereee

(cue 5 people now transformed into monkeys running to be the first ones there, so that they may remove the little table from the centre of the pizza)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I swear i didn’t mean to make it dirty, however my hormones are currently on a rollercoaster and that one comment i saw about doing an ethan x reader x vic thing just stayed in my head

Anyway, im gonna try and make a few more chapters today, please send me an ask if you want anything in particular to go down or if you want to be added to my tag list

until then, ciao dearies

@fuckim-so-gay​ @ginny-lily​

#victoria de angelis #damiano david #thomas raggi #ethan torchio #maneskin #måneskin #what the hell even is this

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

😡🤬ANGER MANAGEMENT (PART 1)🤬😡

Prompt: Y/N has the life she’s always dreamed of: a good house, a nice car, a fat paycheck, her dream job and some loving friends. Her life feels like a fairytale...but just like every fairytale she’s not safe from the villain, the problem with that? He’s not only an incredibly hot Scotsman but also a fucking pain in the ass!

@drewmcintyrekoccsrocbwdgfan

Word count: Long-ish

Pairing: Drew McIntyre x Reader

Warnings: +18 smut, clit stimulation, angst, dirty talking, cursing, name calling,(possible part 2?Idk)

Notes: I think it’s time for me to face my biggest fear: Drew McIntyre! 😂 all jokes aside, I’ve lost count of how many one shots I have written and soon after deleted about this handsome hunk. There are so many good stories of him out there that I’ve always felt like mine were actually horse shit compared to those so I’ve never had the courage to make this Scottish wet dream an official brand of my writing, but I’m looking forward to achieve new accomplishments on my writing in 2021, so here goes nothing folks! Y’all know the drill loves,sorry for misspellings,english isn’t my first language (bla bla bla),check out my other stories if you’d like to(it would make your girl here very happy 😊) and if you’re comfortable with it,please let me know what you think? Some feedback is always welcomed and appreciated ❤️You can check out my other stories typing ‘masochist writes’ on the search bar on my page and my newest story as a fixed post.Okay,now let’s get to the fun part,shall we? Hope you’ll enjoy 😉

“Oh Thank God! Just the woman I wanted to see”

I turned around to meet Becky Lynch, one of the few dear close friends I’ve made while working for the WWE as a massage therapist.

“Hey Becks! What’s up?”

“Y/N I need your help, I was doing some training with the guys when suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder and now I feel like I wanna cry”

“Oh Becky, c’mon let’s go to my office”

Once we got there I mentioned for her to sit on the massage table.

“So tell me exactly what you were doing”

“I was doing some regular weightlifting, then all of a sudden I felt this sharp pain stretch from my elbow to my shoulder”

“Ok, did you warmed up before hand?”

“Yes”

“Did you added the weights in progressively or were you in some sort of competition against Sheamus, Cesaro and McIntyre as to whom could perform a proper weightlifting faster?” I crooked my eyebrow

“Y/N! You know I would never do that” She tried to hide her shame for being caught

“Becky, I know you! I know how competitive you are and how competitive you GET when you train with Sheamus, Cesaro and the Scottish prick.”

“They started ok?! They said I was no match for them, so I had to make them swallow word by word” She said slightly angry

“Calm down” I chuckled “And I presume you won?”

“Of course I won! As if they stood a chance” She scoffed

I touched her shoulder and palmed the back of her upper arm til I reached her elbow

“And your prize for that my darling is” I looked into her eyes “Six muscular knots, probably some small damage to your elbow nerves resulting in a little trip to the physical therapists and shit ton of pain, congratulations! Are you happy now?”

“Oh no!” She whined “Y/N, please don’t send me to the physical therapists, they will eat my ass off and they’re gonna tell Hunter about this. Please Y/N, please tell me you can fix it?” She stared at me with begging eyes

“Becks” I sighed “I can undo the muscular knots but I ain’t no fairy godmother! If you have some sort of nerve damage that’s up to the physical therapists...there’s nothing I can do about that honey”

“Please Y/N give me some of the red magical relief juice you gave to Kofi” She pleads

“Red magical relief juice?” I asked confused

“Yes, Kofi said he had this horrible pain from an injury and you gave him this red magical relief juice that helped him better than any medicine! Please give that to me too!”

I laughed before answering

“Oh Kofi, Kofi... it’s not an juice, it’s a liquid... a toner. A home made medicine I learned with my grandma. Technically I’m not even allowed to use that, but I know it works, better than these crap versions of Vick’s Vapor Rub” I tossed a little small green package in the trash can.

“Can you give that to me?” She asked with her eyes full of hope

“Fine” I said and she smiles widely

“But, you have to promise me that you will stop with these stupid and senseless competitions! They could permanently damage your nerves you know?!”

“Ok I promise”

I took a small plastic bottle from the cabinet and filled up with some small amount of the toner and placed the bottle inside a small paper bag. I also gave her a little bit of my grandma’s famous ointment in a tiny tin can.

“Alright, so here’s what you’re gonna do: once you get to your hotel room, you’ll take a hot shower and before you put your clothes on, you’re gonna rub the toner from your neck to your elbow all over your shoulder and back upper arm” She nods and I proceed “Then right after you’re going to take a small amount of this ointment” I show her the little tin can “And rub it all over your shoulder, back upper arm and elbow. Right afterwards you get dress with a long sleeve shirt and go to bed. Remember that you cannot leave your skin exposed to the cold air of air conditioning, because if you do it will make your pain and damage way worse! Do you hear me?”

“Yes Ma’am”

“If in three to four days you still feel any sort of pain you’re gonna have to go to the physical therapists”

“Ok”

“Becky I’m serious”

“Okay Y/N I got it” She smiles softly

“Good, now please, don’t tell anyone about this” I shook the little bag “And tell Kofi to keep his mouth shut. I know he means well but I could get fired for this”

“My lips are sealed” She pressed her lips in a thin line

“Thank you” I chuckled “Now, go on and take 20 drops of this” I give her some Ibuprofen “And come back in 20 minutes”

“Why?” She asks confused

“Because we still have to undo those knots and it’s not gonna be the fun kind of pain my dear”

“Argh” She groans

One week later

I was finishing tidying up the massage table from the session I just had with Bayley when someone knocked on my office door

“Come on in”

“Hey Y/N” Seth Rollins said in a voice full of pain as he tried to walk towards me

“Seth are you ok? Jesus, you look like somebody just kicked your balls so hard that they went up to your throat! What happened?” I tried to hold back my laugh

“A long story involving Cesaro and Drew. Moral of the story is my back is fucked up, do you think you can help me?”

“Can you lay down here?” I patted the table

“I guess so” He made his way to it excruciatingly slow as I helped him to lay down

“Where’s the pain worst?”

“My lower back” I touched and he gasped in pain

“Do you think you could give me some of that red magical relief juice?” He whispered so only I could hear it.

Of course I wasn’t surprised about him knowing of the “magical relief juice” since he and Becky were together I figured she told him.

“Did Becky told you?”

“Only today, once she saw I was in a tremendous pain...When she was using it I pressed her to tell me who gave it to her but she didn’t wanted to say, she said it was her fairy godmother”

I couldn’t help but smile at Becky’s inside joke and loyalty. I truly love that girl.

“Sure thing Rollins, just please don’t-“

“I won’t tell anyone Y/N don’t worry! Your witchy recipe is safe with me” He chuckled “Ouch fuck, that hurts” He groaned

“Did you bring any jacket on with you?” I laugh

“Yeah Becky told me to”

“Ok, let’s get start it”

Forty minutes and a relaxed thankful Seth Rollins later. I was finishing washing my hands while Seth pulled the zipper of his jacked up. I could feel his eyes on me

“What is it Rollins?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“If the question is if I am a 450 year old witch then my answer is, you will never know” I whisper as I turn to face him with a smirk

He laughs before saying “Well I’m sure you are sweetheart” He winks playfully “But that’s not the question though unfortunately”

“What is it then?”

He looked at me with a sense of caution before asking

“Why do you hate Drew so much?”

“McIntyre? The Scottish prick? The shitty bearded version of Gastón from Beauty and The Beast?” I ask in disbelief

My hatred for Drew McIntyre goes way back to 5 years ago. To make a long story short he has being a pain in my ass every since I started working here. It all resumes to the bad flirting and endless fights. We’ve always fought at least 3 times a week for as long as I can remember. It’s like a weekly ritual for us, and our fights are always petty and ridiculous such as who will get in the elevator first or who will rent the last SUV car.

“Yeah...” He answers slightly embarrassed

“Well that’s simple, he’s an asshole! A smug fucker who thinks he’s the most beautiful man to ever walk the earth and that every woman alive must fall for him in all fours”

“Is there anything else beyond that?” He asks

“No! Of course not!” I lied. As if I could tell him about my deep sexual desire for the Scotsman

“Are you sure? I mean, you must agree with me that he is very beautiful” Seth answers

“I’m not saying he’s not. I have eyes, so trust me, I know he’s hot as fuck and a very handsome man but that doesn’t mean that every woman on this company wants him!” I scoffed

“Does the ‘every woman’ equals Y/N?”

“Why are you asking me this?” I asked aggressively

“Look, there’s no need for you to get all defensive ok? I’m your friend and I’m just asking this as a friend. I’m not coming for you by any means” He says with a soothing voice

“Sorry, it was just my automatic response”

“It’s okay sweetie”

“But Seth...why this question now?”

“Let’s just say that I may or may not have heard some backstage talk and I would like to know this from your own mouth instead of other people’s”

“Backstage talk? About what?” I ask angrily

His eyes widened “You know what? Let’s forget I ever men-“

“No no no Rollins you’ve started this now you will finish it!” Now I was really angry

“Fuck, I should’ve kept my mouth shut” He murmured

“But you didn’t! So spit it out”

“Ok...I’ve heard one of the girls say that the reason why you hate Drew so much is because you kinda have a hidden want for him to fuck you but since he’s ‘not interested’ you get pissed off” He whispered

“I WHAT??? WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT?”

“Y/N please keep your voice down! Somebody is gonna hear you”

“I COULD GIVE TWO FUCKS IF SOMEBODY CAN HEAR ME! Who’ve said that Seth?” I was boiling with rage

“Sweetie, I’m not gonna tell you who’ve said it because I know you will-“

I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and whispered

“If you don’t tell me who’ve said that right now Rollins I swear to God on God in heaven that I will cut your balls off and shove them down your throat!”

He gulped

“Now who’ve said that?”

“Carmella” He whispered and I smiled letting go of his collar “Y/N please don’t do anything stupid!” He said as I removed my coat

“Don’t forget to rub the toner on your back once you’re out of the shower” I patted his shoulder and made my way to the door

“Y/N where are you going? Y/N please whatever you’re thinking about doing it, just don’t ok? She’s not worth it! Y/N PLEASE!”

But his screams were now faint as I make my way down the hallway to find the blond gossiper girl.

I finally find Carmella “talking”, to Sheamus in one of the hallways.

“Oi Y/N, how’s life treating ya lass?” Sheamus smiles widely at me, making his usual greeting. At any other day it would’ve made my afternoon happier to find that amazing Irish man, but not today! I was so furious that I ignored him and went directly to Carmella

“Would you mind telling me why the fuck are you not only minding my business but also spreading rumors about me and McIntyre?”

From where I stood I saw Sheamus visibly gulp

“Hey Y/N, what do ya say about we go to tha catering grab some coffee huh?” He said urgently pleading

“So? I’m waiting for an answer” I said to her fully ignoring what he just said

“Well Y/N, from woman to woman, I think we both can agree that it’s no rumor. It’s quite visible, to not say pathetic, the way you can’t deal with rejection my dear” She batted her lashes

“And what exactly are you implying?”

“The obvious Y/N! That you want Drew in between your legs but he doesn’t! I mean, let’s face it, he’s too much of a man for you anyways! It’s not like you can handle him, because we know you can’t” She measured me from head to toe making me feel very conscious about the difference between her slim toned body and my thick one full of curves.

I know that most of the men’s in this company usually date or even have one night stands with women who were body equivalent to their own - slender and beautifully toned - , but that doesn’t mean that they didn’t saw my own curvy beauty. Hell, I even got some dinner invitations from some of the guys! Cesaro, Baron Corbin, Finn Bálor and even Seth Rollins (before he got with Becky) were some of them.

“I bet that I received more dinner invitations in a week than you in a year” I scoffed

“But not from the man you want the most right darling?” She evilly grins and I see red! Pure rage in it’s rawest form took ahold of me and I jumped towards her neck but a pair of strong arms stopped me from attacking her.

“Wow, easy now lass” He said

HIM! The cause of all this gossiping with my name, I couldn’t get even more angry even if I tried.

“Let me go McIntyre!” I roar

“Uh, enjoy it while it lasts Y/N, it’s as far as you’ll ever get anyways” Carmella chuckles

I tried to wiggle out of his arms “What the fuck did you just said bitch? I’ll feed you your own teeth you fuck-“

I couldn’t finish my sentence thanks to Drew, who lifted me off from the floor and tossed me on his shoulder, taking me to back my office.

“What are you doing? Let me go! I’m gonna punch her stupid rat’s face!”

“No you won’t”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m preventing your ass from getting fired!” He answers

I tried to release myself from him, but who was I fooling? The man is a brick wall, I couldn’t let myself go not even if I tried hard!

Once we got into my office he locked the door, placing himself in front of it and released me.

“Don’t you never, EVER, dare to manhandle me like that again! Do you hear me?” I stare at him with my eyes full of rage

“You know Y/N, all that anger is not good for you...you could have a heart attack” He chuckled

I was so mad, that tears of anger rolled down my cheeks as I cut the small distance between us and begin to punch his torso, arms or whatever I could reach

“I HATE YOU! YOU’RE THE REASON WHY I AM NOW A FUCKING BACKSTAGE GOSSIP SUBJECT! IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT, YOU’RE SO FULL OF YOURSELF AREN’T YOU HUH? SHITTY ASS GASTÓN!”

I was starting to loose my strength due to my ferocious attack, and I would be damned if I let him see that...

When suddenly everything changed, the air in the room thickened and I saw myself now pressed against the door with my hands forcefully pinned on top of my head.

“Aww, that was sweet princess” He smirks confidently

“What are you doing Drew? Let me go” I murmured

“Oh it’s Drew now huh? Why the sudden change love? What happened with ‘Scottish prick, asshole and Gastón’?” He cackled “What’s wrong princess? Not feeling so confident and in charge anymore are we?” He pouts

“You’re hurting me” I lied

“Nu uh, we both know that, that’s a lie. I know you Y/N, every inch of you so don’t you lie to me now! That’s not what pretty little girls like you do” He reprimanded me

I felt confused and slightly turned on by his whole dominant character. But still I felt the urge to fight back.

“And what do you know about me McIntyre? NOTHING! So don’t YOU dare to pretend that you do! You know nothing about who I am or my needs, so quit the act”

He laughed before saying “And that’s where you’re wrong princess” He towered over me, securing my wrists with one of his hands while the other grabbed my cheeks making my lips pout(like one would with a child) and tilted my head up to meet his blue gaze.

“You see Y/N, we’ve known each other for what? 5 years? I’ve done a lot of observing in those years... I became quite good at reading you” He leaned forward..his beard,lips and mustache brushing against my own lips

“So I know for a fact that what triggered you into fighting Carmella wasn’t what she said...But the fact that what she said is true” He searched my eyes for confirmation and when he found it he smirks in appreciation

A murmured ‘Fuck you’ came out of my lips the best way I could since he had this vicious grip on my cheeks.

“Oh Y/N, Y/N... what am I going to do with you princess?” He asks amused as he release my cheeks “I must say though... I agree with almost everything Carmella said” He vaguely added

Pure humiliation filled me, the thought of him knowing that deep down I had a thing for him which wasn’t reciprocal at all made my stomach turn. I felt the tears of humiliation start to rise to my eyes, but I wouldn’t give him the pleasure to see that he had broken me. Instead I reached for the safety of the one thing I knew I could do: fight!

“You let me go right now you fucker or I swear you will regret it!” I said as threatening as I could

“Oh my, won’t you look at that? Kitty has claws huh?” He chuckled lightly

I took advantage of his distraction and yanked my arms as fast as I could out of his grip. The action caught him by surprise, giving me the upper hand to turn around to unlock the door so I could leave. But his surprise didn’t last long as for he saw what I was about to do and pressed me against the door once more, instead now my back was the one facing him so he pressed his semi hard bulge up against my ass with my hands and face now pressed on the wooden door.

“Where do you think you are going princess? We’re not done talking just yet” He whispers in my ear, making my whole body shiver.

“As I was saying before you rudely interrupted me” His lips were glued to my ear “I almost, I said almost, agree with everything that she said..except for one thing”

“If you’re gonna say that-“

“Maybe I’ll have to buy you a ball gag, since you don’t seem to ever know when to shut up...or maybe I should choke you instead,what do you say?”

I gulped loudly

“Or even better, I should fuck your mouth..bury my cock so deep on your throat that you will have no other option but drool all over yourself” He pressed his bulge harder against my ass “, that will make you shut up! I can already imagine how gorgeous you will look with my cock shoved down your throat” He moaned “Would you like that princess? Would you like for me to show you where’s your place? Where you really belong?” He grinds his erection on my ass and the feeling makes me moan softly

“Drew...” I pleaded

“The only thing I don’t agree with Carmella” He continues his previous statement ignoring my plea “Is that I’m too much of a man for you. To be honest I think you’re the only woman in this company who can actually handle me! The only one who will love and beg to be fucked faster and rougher..” His hands let go of my wrists and roam down to cup my breasts roughly, pulling me even closer to his body

“The only one who is the perfect fit for me...who will let me use every single hole as I please” He bites my ear making me gasp for more air.

“Won’t you Y/N? Do you want me to use you like the good little whore that you are?”

My head was buzzing with excitement, I could feel the now very wet pool of desire in between my legs. To think that all of my darkest fantasies with this man were about to come true made me moan a faint ‘Yes’ to him

He grunts at my positive response while one of his big hands unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans so his hand could sink down the fabric to find my very wet core.

“Hmmm I’ve been waiting 5 years for this lass...Fuck, you already feel amazing on my hand I can’t wait to feel this pretty little pussy around my cock” He growls

“Fuck Drew, please” I whisper

“It’s Sir to you, my good little pet” He smirked “Now tell me, do you think I should fuck you right here, right now so that everyone in this company can hear me make you my fuck toy or should we head back to the hotel? What do you say pet?” He asks as his fingers firmly circles my clit making my legs shake

“W- Whatever pleases you Sir” I stuttered

“I see you’re a quick learner huh?” He chuckles amused “I say, let’s show this roster who is the only woman who can properly handle me” He says as he removed his fingers from my core and licked them clean while staring at me. I softly moan to that scene and he smiles deviously before whispering

“Strip now pet and show what a beautiful fuck toy you are for Sir”

To be continued...

Please let me know if you would like to see a part 2 🥺?

#drew mcintyre #drew galloway #drew mcintyre one shot #drew mcintyre x reader #drew mcintyre x oc #drew mcintyre fanfic #drew mcintyre smut #wwe smut #wwe imagine #wwe one shot #wwe fanfiction #masochist writes

[herotome]

hello! i was wondering if you were going to add the ability to change your pronouns and/or have less feminine pics for MC? i personally use they/them pronouns and like to play games where i can use them even if i do not put myself into the game... thank you for your time!

In regards to the MC's appearance: 

Yes, I do want to include more customization options in the future, though you may be disappointed to hear that I plan on making this a paid feature. I’m interested in making it a crowdfunding reward tier, where backers can design their own MC to appear in that little resume profile picture box.

Masculine-presenting MCs are more than welcome. While I can't predict what profile pictures people will submit (or if people would even be willing to pay for that kind of thing), I will always encourage people to headcanon their MCs however they like.

In regards to changing pronouns:

important update from 2023: Haha... how the turn tables. How should I say this? I’ve come around. “Daisy’s changed her mind,” so to speak.

You can now choose your pronouns in Herotome. The protagonist is still intended to be a woman (and can be cis OR trans, as I always intended), but pronouns can be swapped between he/she/they, and even changed on the fly after a certain point in the game, so you can rp as genderfluid!

I was not pressured into this decision, I just took a long long time to reflect and really think. I've tested it extensively and it feels right.

Mainly, I had to internalize that gender =/= pronouns. He/him lesbians exist, I use they/them myself, and there are all sorts of beautiful gender identities out there!! I've just seen gender paired with pronouns so often in games; when the player decides on one, they are automatically deciding on the other...

It was freeing when I understood that it doesn't have to be that way. I don't have to make my game that way.

My thoughts from 2021 are persevered below, with certain areas crossed out. I don't want to hide or delete my statement from back then even though it's far from perfect, and I think it's important to showcase how thoughts and feelings can change over time.

Thank you for your patience understanding!!

----

I once replied to an ask about pronoun customization a long time ago, but I have been feeling a need to update my response. My previous statement was people pleasing and overly cordial. I was terrified of disapproval, of disappointment, and of rejection. I hated the idea that someone would be turned off by the game just because the protagonist is a woman. I knew there was a high demand for customizations of all kinds, and the very idea of going against what people want has caused me... still causes me a lot of grief. It's taken effort to try to let go of this haunting need for approval. I've increasingly begun to feel that my previous statement sends the wrong message, and that by hiding my shifting feelings on the subject I am bordering on dishonesty. As such, here is my updated response: 

No, I will not be adding pronoun options to Herotome.  If Herotome is no longer a game that interests you due to lacking this option: I understand completely.

I enjoy many IFs and VNs that do feature pronoun options, and surely you will enjoy them as well. I can recommend the highly beloved Perfumare and The Passenger, for starters. You may also enjoy The Remainder and Hybrid, which feature canon non-binary protagonists.

I'm sorry if I’ve disappointed any of you by being ambiguous or by refusing to answer asks about on the topic of pronoun customization - this was selfish on my part.

... But I would like to elaborate more on this subject, if you'll allow me, because there is a disturbingly common misconception that adding pronouns to a game is as easy as flicking a switch.

(There should be a “Read More” link under here. Of there isn’t please just click on the post itself to view it in full).

In code, yes, you could say it works like a light switch. On-off. He-she-they. 

Now. I would like to direct your attention to the network of wires connected to the light switch, which run beneath the walls and connect to various light sources throughout my house. The wires represent grammar, the protagonist’s POV, artwork depicting the protagonist, and how the protagonist is perceived by other characters. The lights represent every single instance the protagonist’s gender is referenced to in-game.

(Yes there are way too many lights in my house, it's a weird horror party house - bear with me.) In writing an interactive game designed for immersion, I have wired the game a certain way: the protagonist is perceived as a young woman throughout the game, going by "she/her." So in our silly metaphor the lights are... let's say they're green lights. Were I to add a pronoun-switching light switch, with the goal of giving my players the freedom to chance their pronoun lights whenever and however they please, I will have to: A) Write for ALL the perspectives: 

...by gutting the walls to add additional sets of wires, so the lights in my house can be flipped to various different colors - he-she-they - purple-green-gold. 

But that’s not all. We have to ensure every single wire is affixed to the CORRECT lights because otherwise you’ll have this one flickering green light while the rest of the house is gold, and people are going to send me messages asking what's wrong with my house lights, it's rather disturbing to have one random green light flashing at them when they'd definitely flipped the switch to gold. 

The lights are so much fun and deeply engaging, but require careful supervision and frequent maintenance. It’s an enormous amount of work, and frankly every dev who undertakes it deserves all the patience and understanding in the world.  B) Write in a gender neutral way:

... by gutting the walls to rip out the wires entirely, throwing all mentions of being a woman directly into the trash. Replace the wires with gray ones and turn some of the lights permanently off. The pronouns can change, but much of the language concerning the MC will become vague. Muted. Palatable. No colors.  Designed to please everyone and offend no one. You flip the switch, some lights turn on... and there's no longer that wash of color that makes the lights feel personal and catered to you and how you present yourself. 

But hey, if you're playing as an android or a space alien or if you're on a fantastic magic adventure where gender roles are totally irrelevant -- who even needs colorful lights? The gender neutral way can work, has worked, and a lot of people (including me) do enjoy them. However, I do think that if all games were written this way, we would lose out on a lot of varied perspectives, and that’s not what we should strive for.

Many devs plan their game around the wires from the beginning - whether the lights are gray, or many colors, or just one color. 

I planned for Herotome to be one color. It's a shade of red that is quite personal to me, because I want to try and show people how incredibly beautiful and interesting this shade of red can be, amid an industry populated with cheaply made, mass produced, poorly-translated-blank-slate-primary-color-protagonist-red. (DOUBLE, TRIPLE EMPHASIS on "industry" and "mass produced," y'all better not think I'm throwing shade at my fellow indies when I'm throwing it at soulless mobile and mainstream games LOL)

I truly did consider gutting the walls to add pronoun options at one point. I’ve considered it at multiple points. I second guess my decision and I stress and I spiral, but the more I develop the game, the less feasible the idea becomes and the more it breaks my heart.  ... So there you have it. There's my pronoun light switch manifesto. I’ve been putting it off and holding it in and as a result it's been boiling over for a longggg time. 

Sorry again if this is disappointing news for some of you. I need to accept that I can't make everyone happy, and not everyone is going to enjoy the game. But it's going to be okay. ❤︎  Either way, I’ll catch y’all on the flip flop.

Much love,

Wudge

#herotome ask

[h-o-timeline]

Harry x Olivia - 2021 Timeline

01/01/2021 – Harry and Olivia are in Santa Barbara for Jeff Azoff and Glenne Christiaansen’s wedding. They go to a Blenders In The Grass in Montecito and are caught by a CCTV camera. Footage later surfaces on 7 May 2021, after someone sends it to Deuxmoi.

On the 2nd, Clint and his partner follow Olivia to a hotel in Santa Barbara. There, they realize Harry is also present and take pictures of him. After a few phone calls, the two photographers discover rumors of a romantic relationship between Harry and Olivia. A few minutes later, they are able to photograph them together.

02/01/2021 – Harry and Olivia attend Jeff and Glenne’s wedding at San Ysidro Ranch.

03/01/2021 – They are photographed having breakfast at San Ysidro Ranch and hanging out in Santa Barbara with friends Jeff, Glenne, and Tommy Bruce, who is also Harry’s manager. Later this day, Olivia and Harry are photographed arriving with bags at his house in Lauren Canyon.

04/01/2021 – Page Six breaks the news that Harry and Olivia are in a relationship.

Following the news, Olivia’s name trends on Twitter worldwide for 7 hours, and her latest Instagram post is spammed with hate messages. Some fans try to calm things down by sending her positive messages. She limits her comments and tags a few days later.

Not long after the news of Harry and Olivia’s relationship comes out, several sources come forward to tell the tabloids that Jason is “heartbroken” and the timeline of their relationship and split becomes confusing, as the sources tell different versions of the story. Olivia and Jason remain silent.

On the 9th, Olivia is photographed moving some of her things out of the Silver Lake house.

“Don’t Worry Darling” resumes shooting on January 19.

26/01/2021 – Olivia announces nominees for the 36th Independent Spirit Awards with a video recorded at Harry’s house.

Sometime between December and February, Olivia also interviews Amy Heckerling and Cameron Crowe from Harry’s house.

13/02/2021 – “Don’t Worry Darling” wraps and Harry and Olivia pose for a group photo with some people from the cast and crew.

14/02/2021 – Olivia is photographed moving more of her things out of the Silver Lake house. This time she’s also photographed entering Harry’s house with her bags, and Luis, his personal assistant, helps her.

15/02/2021 – Olivia makes an Instagram post praising Harry for his work on DWD.

16/02/2021 – According to a source for E! News, they fly to London together.

On February 20, Olivia is photographed arriving in Barnes, where her children are living with their father. She splits her time between Barnes and Hampstead, where Harry lives.

In the first week of March, Harry flies to the US for the Grammys.

06/03/2021 – Olivia posts a photo on Instagram Stories in which she appears to be in Harry’s kitchen. She later deletes the Story.

15/03/2021 – Olivia congratulates Harry on his Grammy win via Instagram Stories using a picture of Paul McCartney that was one of the inspirations for the “Watermelon Sugar” music video.

Harry returns to London in late March and begins working on his next film, “My Policeman.”

08/04/2021 – Olivia takes pictures of Harry with fans at Regent’s Park.

14/04/2021 – They go on a date at a west London pub, according to a source for The Mirror.

17/04/2021 – They’re spotted taking a stroll in a park in the morning/afternoon and again in the evening.

18/04/2021 – They’re spotted taking a stroll on Hampstead Heath.

25/04/2021 – They’re seen at a restaurant.

27/04/2021 – They’re spotted twice in Hampstead.

01/05/2021 – They’re spotted together.

02/05/2021 – They’re spotted taking a stroll.

On May 3, Harry is pictured filming “My Policeman” for the first time in Brighton. During the remaining filming in England, he would go back and forth from London to the coastal city. Meanwhile, Olivia works editing “Don’t Worry Darling.”

20/05/2021 – Harry and Olivia are spotted at a restaurant.

In late May, Harry goes to Cheshire to see his family for the first time in months and meets a few fans. There has been speculation that he took Olivia with him, based on now-deleted TikTok and a tweet from one of the fans.

02/06/2021 – Harry and Olivia are seen strolling with three other people, two of whom some fans identify as Olivia’s parents, Leslie and Andrew Cockburn.

03/06/2021 – Harry and Olivia are seen strolling and at a restaurant.

On the first Saturday of June, Jason moves with the kids to New York City, as he would reveal months later in an interview.

06/06/2021 – Two people recognize them as they stroll around Hampstead Heath. One of the onlookers deletes their tweet after getting harassed.

On June 8, Olivia posts a photo on her Stories in which she’s getting vaccinated in NYC. Harry remains in England, as MP is still being filmed.

On June 14, Harry arrives in Italy to continue filming. “My Policeman” wraps on June 16 and Harry stays in Italy.

16/06/2021 – Some fans find Olivia’s Spotify account and notice she has a playlist called “H”. She makes the playlist private after hundreds of people start following it (it got over 2,000 followers), and eventually changes the account’s name and makes it private.

On June 20, Olivia arrives in Los Angeles, allegedly for a test screening of DWD. She is last seen there on the 23rd. On June 24, Olivia is announced as part of Damien Chazelle’s “Babylon.”

On June 25, Olivia is in NYC. She leaves for Italy on the 28th.

30/06/2021 – Harry and Olivia are seen strolling in Porto Ercole. They’re also seen at a restaurant.

01/07/2021 – Harry and Olivia are photographed kissing for the first time, on a yacht near Isola del Giglio. Later, they are seen at a restaurant (dozens of fans stay outside calling for him and he comes out to ask for privacy) and strolling on the island.

02/07/2021 – They’re photographed on the yacht near Monte Argentario.

03/07/2021 – Harry and Olivia attend the Ukraine x England match of the 2020 Euro Cup in Rome.

On July 13, Jason’s interview with GQ is out. He says he and Olivia split in “November 2020”, disputing the information originally given to People. Olivia doesn’t respond.

On the 14th, Harry announces Love On Tour 2021, starting on September 4 in Las Vegas.

Olivia is photographed in NYC on the 16th. Harry arrives in Los Angeles on the 17th.

17/07/2021 – Olivia and Daisy are spotted in a beauty salon and Daisy has an adorable reaction to Harry’s music being played there.

On the 19th, Olivia arrives in LA. She flies to NYC either on the 25th or the 26th.

26/07/2021 – Olivia is seen face timing Harry in NYC.

Olivia is photographed back in LA on August 3, shopping for housewares, toys, and bedding. On the 6th, she’s photographed at the gate of a house in Los Feliz. At first, the paparazzi don’t know she lives there, and media outlets refer to the place as a “friend’s house.” The Los Feliz house belongs to musician and designer Lourdes Hernández González and her husband, entrepreneur Zach Leigh. Harry and Olivia rent temporarily.

07/08/2021 – Harry is photographed at the gate of the Los Feliz house, greeting a guest for a party he and Olivia threw that day (most likely to celebrate the new home), according to the Daily Mail. Olivia is also photographed on the sidewalk, about to enter.

07/08/2021 – In the evening, Harry and Olivia go to a Cinespia screening at Hollywood Forever Cemetery. They watch “The Big Lebowski”, which is one of Olivia’s favorite films. She later posts a photo of the screen on her Instagram.

08/08/2021 – They’re photographed strolling in Los Feliz and meeting with friends Tyler Johnson and Lindsay Marias. On this day Harry is photographed wearing a hat that reads “Katie and Conor are my friends”, which was a gift to the guests of Katie Silberman’s (“Booksmart” and “Don’t Worry Darling” writer) wedding in 2018. The hat belongs to Olivia and Harry later uses it as inspiration for his tour merch.

09/08/2021 – They’re photographed leaving a gym in Santa Monica.

11/08/2021 – A fan meets Harry and Olivia in Malibu.

Jason and the children return to Los Angeles shortly after the 11th. Otis and Daisy now split their time between Los Feliz with their mother and Harry and Silver Lake with their father.

14/08/2021 – A Los Angeles Magazine article published on August 24 would reveal that on this day Harry and Olivia were at another Cinespia screening, this time for “Clueless”.

19/08/2021 – Harry and Olivia are spotted by fans at Griffith Park.

20/08/2021 – Otis and Daisy’s music school posts a video of them singing “Watermelon Sugar” on Instagram. After getting harassed, the school deletes the video.

Around this time, Harry finishes Harry's House.

On September 1st, Olivia is seen at an airport, and people assume she is flying to meet Harry in Las Vegas.

04/09/2021 – Olivia attends the first Love On Tour show in Las Vegas. She and Harry are later seen leaving the venue together.

07/09/2021 – Olivia attends the LOT show in Denver, but only stays out for “Golden”. It’s possible that she went to a private lounge.

Olivia returns to LA shortly after the Denver show. Harry goes to Texas.

On the 12th, Olivia is photographed leaving her house, ready to join Harry in Texas. The scheduled show in Houston is canceled because of Hurricane Nicholas, and they are forced to stay there until the 14th when it is safe to travel again.

15/09/2021 – Olivia attends the LOT show in St. Louis.

17/09/2021 – Olivia attends the LOT show in Philadelphia.

18/09/2021 – Early in the day, Harry and Olivia are seen in the neighborhood of Georgetown, Washington D.C., where Olivia’s parents live. She would later reveal in an interview that a “friend” accompanied her on a visit to her parents on this occasion. In the evening, she attends Harry’s LOT show in the city.

On the 19th, Olivia returns to LA, where she concedes an interview for her upcoming Vogue cover story. Harry goes to Michigan, Minnesota, and then Illinois. He flies to Nashville on the 26th or 27th.

Olivia flies to Nashville either on the 27th or the 28th.

28/09/2021 – Harry and Olivia are spotted having dinner with friends in Nashville.

29/09/2021 – Olivia attends the first LOT show in Nashville.

01/10/2021 – Olivia attends the second LOT show in Nashville.

02/10/2021 – Harry and Olivia go to a street festival in Nashville and meet with friends Tyler and Lindsay. Later, they fly private to New York City and have dinner at a restaurant there.

03/10/2021 – Olivia’s parents and brother are seen at the first LOT show in NYC, but she is not, though some claim to have seen her silhouette through the glass of a private suite. According to the fan who identified her parents, they had backstage passes, and her mother was talking on the phone with her.

On the 5th, Olivia is photographed back in LA. On the 7th, Harry arrives in Florida. He leaves for Raleigh on the 11th.

12/10/2021 – Olivia leaves LA and meets Harry in Raleigh. In the evening, she attends his LOT show in the city.

13/10/2021 – Harry and Olivia are filmed strolling in Pittsburgh. They also have a Pilates class and visit the University of Pittsburgh’s Cathedral of Learning.

14/10/2021 – Olivia attends the LOT show in Pittsburgh.

15/10/2021 – Harry and Olivia are photographed strolling in NYC with friends.

16/10/2021 – Olivia attends the third LOT show in NYC.

Olivia returns to LA on the 17th. Meanwhile, Harry has concerts in Cleveland and Uncasville.

25/10/2021 – Olivia leaves her house in LA in the morning and in the evening she attends the LOT show in Boston. During the show, she records the audience singing “Happy Birthday” to Harry’s dad.

After the show in Boston, Olivia flies to NYC to oversee the sound mixing of “Don’t Worry Darling”, while Harry goes to Atlanta. After the two shows in Georgia, Harry flies to NYC.

30/10/2021 – Olivia attends the first night of Harryween in New York City.

31/10/2021 – Olivia leaves NYC and returns to LA carrying a custom Bode bag that people assume was a gift from Harry.

A couple days after Harryween, Harry goes to Milwaukee and then to Seattle.

On the week of 07/11/2021-13/11/2021, Olivia is in NYC. During this time Harry is touring Tacoma, Portland, Sacramento, San Jose, and Glendale. Olivia returns to LA on the 14th.

15/11/2021 – Olivia attends the LOT show in San Diego with Otis and Daisy. At one point, Anne, Harry’s mother, dances with Otis.

Olivia doesn’t attend the first two shows in Inglewood. There is a possibility that she was in New York.

20/11/2021 – Olivia attends the third LOT show in Inglewood with Otis and Daisy. Not many photos or videos of them are taken this day.

After this show, Harry goes to Houston, where he performs on the 23rd, while Olivia stays behind with the kids. They meet again sometime after the 24th.

28/11/2021 – Olivia attends the LOT show in Elmont. At one point, she and Des (Harry’s dad) hug.

On the week of 28/11/2021-04/12/2021, they have a short holiday on a private island. Later, Harry goes to London and Olivia to LA.

09/12/2021 – Olivia is revealed as the cover of Vogue’s January 2022 edition. In the interview, she addresses her relationship with Harry for the first time, but without naming him.

Harry is photographed in London doing reshoots for “My Policeman” on the 13th, then flies to Italy on the 17th. Olivia follows soon later, being spotted in LA for the last time on the 18th.

Some fans meet Harry and Olivia on the 23rd, but they don’t share this information (and a photo of Harry) until January when they both are in London.

A few days before Christmas, stalkers find out Harry and Olivia are in Italy with their families and spread the information around, but nothing is confirmed until the 27th.

27/12/2021 – Harry and Olivia are spotted strolling in the province of Viterbo, where Harry owns a house.

Harry, Olivia, and his family fly back to London on the 28th, as one of Gemma's posts on her Instagram Stories on the morning of the 29th show that she’s home (flight records also show that a private plane left Rome for London on the 28th).

In declarations to court in 2022, Jason Sudeikis would reveal that he and the kids moved to London sometime in December 2021.

31/12/2021-01/01/2022 – Harry and Olivia are seen near Hampstead Heath in the morning, and in the evening, they attend a New Year’s party with James and Julia Corden.

LAST UPDATED: 20/10/2022

#holivia timeline #holivia #olivia wilde #harry styles #2021

[hookingminor]

three lessons - mat barzal

a/n: new series idea I just had, spoiler there is filth and the next parts will be as well also im not the best at writing smut so you’ll have to bear with me here. anyway! let me know what you think! comments/thoughts are always appreciated! also, I know it briefly mentions being the younger sister of a teammate, but I know nothing about the isles so its literally just for plot purposes don’t expect much from that and this isn’t proofread sorry

word count: 4.2k

summary: you’re tired of being a virgin, so you hit up Mat to help you with your problem and strike a deal

warnings (18+): loss of virginity, smut

PART TWO

-

This was by far the worst idea you’ve ever had.

In your twenty-one years of life, you’ve never had a worse idea. Your initial plan was crazy in and of itself, but adding Mat to the mix? It’s like you were asking to get your ass kicked.

The original thought came to you a year ago when you were sitting on the couch of your friend’s apartment, four glasses of wine into the night. She was complaining about her latest hookup, raging over the fact that he didn’t know where the clit was.

This is how it usually went between you two.

She was the one who got all the guys, the one who could pick up anyone from the bar and spend the night in a stranger’s bed without a second thought. You, however, were the wingwoman, the person who was left behind when your friend eventually decided to leave with a man.

It didn’t bother you that much. It’s not like you felt like you needed a boyfriend, you were secure in almost all aspects of your life, but the nagging thought in the back of your mind kept saying that you needed to get fucked. And soon.

Maybe it was the alcohol coursing through your bloodstream or the fact that you hadn’t masturbated in nearly two weeks, but you rolled your eyes at your friend before you finally snapped.

“At least you’ve had someone to fuck the past few months! Be grateful you’re not me and still a virgin at twenty!” You shouted, fed up with hearing stories about how your friend’s sex life was so terrible. At least she had a sex life to begin with.

“Oh my god. I’m so sorry,” you apologized quickly, bringing your hand to cover your mouth in shock, “I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry, it’s just… it’s hard listening to you talk about this when I can’t contribute to the conversation.”

“No, you’re right. I’m sorry for always talking about it,” your friend said, eyes softening when she heard how regretful you sounded, “How about we change the subject?”

She didn’t wait for your response before launching into a monologue about how classes were going and her upcoming finals. You tried listening to her, but your mind was still stuck on the previous topic. Of course it was unfortunate that you happened to be twenty and with no sexual experience, but it didn’t bother you before like it was bothering you right now.

Ideas began racing through your head of how you could rectify this, and that’s when the seed was planted.

Now, almost a year later, your carefully thought out plan was almost complete; though, ‘carefully’ could be more loosely translated to ‘reckless.’

You paced outside of Mat’s door, walking back and forth as you fiddled with your hands, working up the courage to knock. This was such a bad idea. You brought your hand up to the door, pausing before your fist made contact before bringing it back down and resuming your pacing.

After another five minutes of deep contemplation, you made your decision. You knocked on the door before you could second guess yourself, now bringing your hands to tug at the strands of your hair.

The few seconds it took for Mat to answer the door felt like a lifetime, and when he opened the door, you were met with a confused look.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” He asked, peeking his head out of the door to glance down the hallway.

“Hi, I know you weren’t expecting me and you have to leave for practice soon, but I needed to talk to you about something,” you explained quickly.

Mat’s brows stayed furrowed in confusion, but he opened the door further to let you inside.

“Firstly, I just wanted to say that Anders doesn’t know I’m here, and I’d really appreciate it if you never mentioned it to him,” you said as he closed the door behind you.

Mat ushered you into his living room, gesturing for you to take a seat on the couch as he crossed his arms and waited for you to continue.

“This is going to sound absolutely crazy and you’re probably going to reject me but just hear me out,” you said, taking a deep sigh. He was totally going to shut you down, but there was no turning back now.

“I wanted to ask you if you’d have sex with me. You’d be doing me a favor as my friend. I’m kind of… a virgin… and I really don’t want to be anymore,” you took a breath to watch his reaction which was unreadable, “You’re probably thinking it’s a terrible idea, being that I’m Anders’s sister and everything, but I promise I won’t say anything to him. I just want to get a little experience under my belt… it’s kind of embarrassing. Anyway, I just wanted to ask if you’d give me a few lessons or something.”

You raised your eyes to meet Mat’s as you finished your rant, worrying about what he was going to say. A long silence fell between you two as he processed what you said.

“Uh… I don’t really know what to say,” he started awkwardly, bringing his hand to rub at the back of his neck, “I’m honored, I guess? That you asked me to help, but I’m just a little confused since we don’t really know each other.”

Okay, you could give him that. It was true that you weren’t the closest of friends, but you’d met on a handful occasions. It’s not like you were complete strangers, but other than knowing what you were studying in school and that you were Anders’s much younger sister, he didn’t know much about you.

“That’s fair,” you said, “I asked you because, well, you’re obviously hot which I’m sure you know. Also, not knowing each other is what makes this perfect. I’m not attached to you in any way and vice versa. Honestly? You’re one of the few guys in town that I feel comfortable around, so it was either ask you or find a random Tinder hookup and have to do this speech all over again but ten times as awkward.”

Mat didn’t like the last part of that explanation: the whole ‘random Tinder hookup to take your virginity’ part. He may not have known you that well, but he knew you were a nice girl and deserved to be more than just a notch on the bedpost of someone who didn’t care about you.

“I know you’re probably thinking I’m insane, and I get it. I felt a little insane when I thought about this too. But I really feel like you’re the best option. I understand if you think it’s too weird, though,” you said when he hadn’t replied. Your eyes watched him as he sat still as a rock across from you.

“I… I have to leave for practice soon,” was the only thing he responded with.

You felt your heart drop at his statement. Of course he was going to say no, you were an idiot for even trying.

“Yeah, totally, I’ll get going,” you said quickly, gathering your stuff and making your way to the entrance.

When you reached the door, you turned back one last time to see him still in the same position.

“Can you not tell Anders, please? I know this was a crazy, stupid idea but… just don’t tell him, okay? He doesn’t need to know about my sex… well, lack of sex life,” you added before shutting the door behind you.

-

Mat had lost his mind.

Truly and honestly, he had lost his mind if he was even considering your proposition. Which he was. He was really considering your proposition, and he wanted to punch himself for it.

He couldn’t possibly agree to this, could he? You were the captain’s younger sister. Sure, you two weren’t the closest of siblings, but the code still applied. And the code clearly said he was not allowed to fraternize with relatives of his teammates in any way. He hadn’t broken this rule yet, and he couldn’t believe he was even thinking about breaking it now.

Inside his head, he weighed the pros and the cons of sleeping with you. Well, teaching you would be a better phrase. If Mat was being honest, he had blacked out after the terms ‘virgin’ and ‘have sex with me’ fell from your lips. He watched you from his spot on the couch, his eyes following your mouth but not processing the words you were saying. Truthfully, he ran over the conversation a million times in his head and he wasn’t sure he was actually processing them now.

You wanted him to take your virginity. You wanted him to give you experience. You called them lessons.

You were, quite literally, asking him to be your sex tutor.

When you left the apartment, he did what he did best. He compartmentalized. Instead of thinking about the awkward conversation he just had with you, he pushed all thoughts of you from his mind and went to practice. For a whole three hours he focused on hockey. He even had the courage to look at his captain despite the weird interaction he’d just had with his sister.

But then practice was over, and Mat was left with nothing to do but think about what you said. Thinking turned into contemplating, and contemplating eventually turned into pulling up your Instagram page.

Mat typed and retyped the message a million times, deleting it before he could accidentally pressed send. He went back and forth between wanting to say yes and throwing his phone as far away from him so he wouldn’t be tempted.

What could be the worst thing that happened? He thought.

A million bad things could happen. He knew this deep in his heart that it was, for all intents and purposes, the worst idea ever to teach his captain’s sister how to have sex, but his head and desire to get laid had other plans.

So, he picked up his phone one last time and composed the same message he’d written a hundred times.

to @yourusername: does your offer still stand? text me 212-203-3849

-

For the second time in a week, you were pacing outside of Mat’s apartment. You’d received his message almost six days ago, and now here you were.

Your chest nearly collapsed with relief when you’d seen he wanted to take you up on your offer. And then your stomach filled with butterflies, nerves wracking your body as you now had an official plan to lose your virginity.

You eagerly liked the message, dialing his number in your phone so you could hash out the details over text. He promised you two would go over some ground rules in person, saying it felt too weird to have a written contract or something over text. You agreed to his plans and set a date to go over to his apartment that following weekend.

Feeling more courageous than you did a week ago, you knocked on the door with confidence this time. If you were going to lose your virginity tonight, you weren’t going to look like a frightened kitten when you did.

Mat greeted you with a warm smile this time, his eyes lighting up when he saw you. Same as last time, he ushered you into his apartment and directed you towards his couch.

“Do you want anything to drink? I was about to open a bottle of wine,” Mat asked, already moving to the kitchen.

“Yeah, wine would be great. Thanks,” you replied, taking a seat on the edge of the couch.

Mat tinkered around in the kitchen for a couple minutes before he joined you, handing you a glass of red. You took a long sip as he settled down, hoping the wine would work fast to calm your nerves.

“So, what did you want to discuss first?” He asked after a moment.

“Well, we should probably have some ground rules. I was thinking that since you’re the expert and all, you should decide how these lessons go. Oh, and I think that we should keep this to a three-time thing. Anything more than that will probably get more complicated,” you answered with ease. Not to say you had spent the past week thinking about what you were going to say, but you definitely did.

Mat nodded in agreement at your suggestions before adding his own.

“Yeah, that sounds good. Also, we can’t tell anyone about this because, you know, your brother and the team and all,” he said. You hummed in response, that much was a given. No one could know about this.

“So, where do we start? Should I take off my clothes or?” You asked.

“No,” he said with a chuckle, “We’re going to watch a movie.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it. For now at least.”

You hadn’t known what you were expecting, but it was not a cuddle session on his couch. You imagined that maybe he would’ve just ripped your clothes off the minute you walked in to get down to business, but he was being way more casual than you were feeling. Which was probably a good thing because your heart was beating a thousand beats a minute, so at least one of you had this situation under control.

Mat had told you to dress comfortably as he didn’t plan on leaving the apartment, and he was dressed in a similar fashion as you: gray sweatpants with a dark blue t-shirt. You had thrown on a pair of leggings and a shirt from your college before leaving, making sure to wear at least a nice bralette and pair of panties underneath.

He drank down the rest of his wine before adjusting himself on the couch, moving into a position where he was laying down. Grabbing the blanket folded on the back cushion, he spread it out over his body before patting the spot in front of him. Normally, you would’ve been intimidated by a bold move like this, but the wide smile on his face indicated that he was perfectly comfortable right now, and his ease surrounded you in waves.

Slamming back the rest of your wine, you lay down in front of him, tucking your body against his while his arms pulled your chest closer.

“Anything specific you want to watch?” He asked, using his free hand to grab the remote. You muttered a quiet ‘no,’ allowing him to go ahead and choose. Mat scrolled through the Netflix options before settling on a new action movie.

“So, how much experience do you have exactly?” Mat asked once the introduction credits had finished. It was a good thing he wasn’t looking at you because your face heated up in embarrassment.

“I’ve only ever got as far as making out,” you muttered.

“No one’s ever touched you then?” He prodded.

“No,” you replied, your cheeks on fire. You couldn’t see him, but Mat nodded in response against the back of your head, letting out a quiet ‘okay.’

It wasn’t the first time Mat had been with a virgin, but that hadn’t been since high school and when he also wasn’t that experienced himself. Mat decided to let the movie play for a little bit longer before making his first move.

That time came when there was a particularly slow scene on. Slowly, he lifted up the hem of your t-shirt and slid his hand underneath, tracing small circles on the skin of your stomach. You clenched your thighs together as a warm feeling started to spread throughout your body.

It was happening.

Mat kept his hands there for a few minutes, inching up so slowly you almost couldn’t tell he’d moved at all. When the initial shock of his touch settled, you tried to refocus your attention to the movie.

Another ten minutes passed before Mat made his next move. Almost imperceptibly, he used his elbow to push his torso up before he brushed the hair covering your neck to the side. You felt his fingertips brush your ear, a shiver running up your spine. He brought his lips to your neck a split second later, placing a soft kiss against it.

Your eyes briefly shut for a second, reveling in the fact that Mat’s lips were on your neck. He kissed around your jaw a couple times before the hand on his stomach was shifting you to rest on your back. Your body followed his lead and your eyes met his hazel ones before he was leaning in to kiss your lips.

A heat unfurled in your body the second your lips connected and you eagerly moved yours against his. One of Mat’s hands had moved to the back of your neck to tilt your head at a better angle, the other hand moving further up under your shirt to rest just below your bra clasp. Your body involuntarily arched up into his hands as his tongue slipped out to part your lips. You opened your mouth and his tongue entered immediately, tangling with yours. You and Mat lay on the couch for a good while, making out heavily before you eventually had to break it for air.

“At least you don’t have to worry about kissing. You’re a natural,” Mat commended with an airy chuckle, and you couldn’t help but laugh at his compliment.

Mat’s smile brightened at your laugh before he leaned back in, the heat building in your body at double speed. You knew you were attracted to him, but you didn’t think he would be able to wind you up this fast. Or maybe it was just because you’ve never had a man touch you like this before.

Breaking the kiss, Mat began to trail more kisses down your body, pausing near your collarbone when he heard a particular breathy gasp leave your mouth. Mat continued his path over your shirt until he reached your belly button.

“Can I take this off?” He asked, looking up at you.

“You can take mine off if you take yours off,” you replied with a seductive smirk. Mat pulled back from your body, matching your smirk with one of his own as he tore off his shirt. Less than a second later, he was tugging at the hem of yours, urging you to sit up so he could take it off.

Mat’s hands were back on your body right after he tossed your shirt on the floor. This time, he retraced his path down your torso with his mouth and tongue, leaving no patch of skin untouched. His fingers danced around the edge of your leggings, teasing you until you were lifting up your hips into his face.

“Please take them off, Mat,” you said through gasps, wanting nothing more than to be rid of your clothing. He chuckled lightly against your waistband, his nose tickling your abdomen before he began shimmying off your leggings.

Tilting your hips up, you helped him slide the pants down your legs along with your underwear. Though your cheeks flamed up at the thought of being exposed before Mat, you felt oddly calm (well, as calm as you can be given the circumstances) with him.

“Holy shit, baby. You’re soaked,” Mat noted with a deep groan. He shuffled his body further down the couch into a comfortable position, lifting one leg to hook over his shoulder.

You breathed in shaky breaths as Mat placed gentle kisses on your thighs, working upwards slowly until he reached your core. And when he used his tongue to lick a strip across your pussy, your back arched into the air as you let out a loud moan.

“You gotta stay still, Y/N,” Mat chuckled darkly, wrapping one hand to steady your middle.

“Sorry, never done this before,” you replied in gasps.

Now immobilized, Mat resumed his place between your legs, repeating the same series of licks before he closed his lips around your clit. He flicked his tongue across the sensitive area. God, you would have done this a long time ago if you knew it would feel this good. You weren’t sure if it was too early to feel the heat inside you build up this quickly or if Mat was just too good at this. You hoped it was the latter.

His tongue lapped at your folds, and your hands flew down to grasp his hair in need. You didn’t think you could moan any louder, but then he brought his thumb to your clit to rub in tight circles as his tongue teased your entrance.

“Holy fuck,” you whined out, canting your hips up as much as you could. You could feel his smirk against your pussy at your exclamation, bringing his hand down to slowly enter a finger into you.

You let out a surprised gasp as you felt the first finger penetrate you. Mat kept his attention on your clit, lips sucking harshly at it. You let yourself get lost in the pleasure, focusing on how good he was making you feel.

After a few thrusts of one finger, giving you plenty of time to adjust, he added a second, feeling your walls tighten around them. He moved both fingers in and out of you, alternating the pressure between your entrance and clit. Just when he hit the right spot inside you, your hand tugged on his hair tightly, and he took the hint to curl his fingers against that spot.

“I’m so close, Mat,” you moaned, tossing your head back into the pillow.

“What do you need, baby?” He asked, pulling back for a quick breath. You glanced down to meet his gaze, taking in the way his chin glistened from your pussy. The view made you moan lowly, and his eyes darkened at the sound.

“Your tongue, please,” you begged quietly.

Mat heard the words leave your mouth and nestled his face back between your legs, tongue sliding up your slit in response. In rhythm with stroking your g-spot, he sucked at your clit, and it was mere seconds before your body coiled tightly inside. He kept the same pace and before long, you felt yourself crest the peak and then fall.

Mat removed his fingers slowly from your entrance, his tongue licking softly at your folds until he felt your breathing return to normal. It took you a few seconds to regain your sense of self, stars still whirling in the corners of your vision. When you finally felt yourself grounded on Earth again, you opened your eyes to see a self-satisfied smirk on Mat’s face.

“You’re so hot when you come,” he said when you met his gaze, and had you not been riding high on cloud nine when he said this, you might have blushed in embarrassment. But you weren’t embarrassed right now. The only thing you felt was giddy. Giddy because you were one step closer to your end goal.

And while you were blissed out, you dropped your gaze to notice the extremely visible bulge tenting in his sweatpants. Focused on a new task, you sat up quickly before leaning over Mat’s body so you could return the favor. Your lips crashed against his in a frenzy, your hands clumsily reaching down to grasp his length. However, you only got to feel it for a second before Mat’s hand was tugging it away.

“Not tonight, babe. Tonight was about you,” Mat said with a strained voice, breaking the kiss to look at you.

“What do you mean? We’re not having sex tonight?” You asked in confusion, your head still a little hazy from the orgasm.

“No, we’re not,” he laughed, noticing the wantonness in your voice, “You said I’m in charge, right? This was already a lot for one night, so we’ll put off the sex until next time.”

You nodded your head, though you weren’t really understanding. It made sense. Tonight was a very big step for you, and he didn’t want to give you too much at once. But despite that, your pussy was begging for a repeat performance and you were so far gone you were willing to do just about anything Mat would say.

“What about you, though?” You asked, glancing down to the noticeable tent.

“I’ll be fine, I promise. We still have two more lessons. There’s plenty of time for that later,” he replied, though the bulge between you seemed to say otherwise.

“Promise you’re okay?” You insisted.

“I swear, Y/N,” he said with a chuckle.

A comfortable silence fell between you after that, and you couldn’t help the wide smile that spread across your face. Your eyes sparkled with renewed purpose, and you felt satisfied for the first time in a long time. A smile of Mat’s own slowly appeared on his face as he watched you light up before him. Before you could stop yourself, you threw yourself into him, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck.

“Thank you, Mat. Thank you, thank you, thank you,” You said happily, punctuating each ‘thank you’ with a loud smacking kiss on his cheek.

When you pulled back to give him that award-winning smile again, Mat had one thought.

He was totally fucked.

#mat barzal #nhl imagines #hockey imagines #nhl smut #mat barzal imagine #my writing #isles13

[the-void-i-scream-into]

White Tulips - a JunJin fanfic 3/3

Full Story: Part 1, Part 2

Hey my beautiful readers. Thank you so much for sticking around till now. I was honestly so terrified of posting this fanfic because I had never done that before but everyone’s response has been so kind to me. Thank you.

This is the final part. I hope you all enjoyed the story. As always, this chapter is dedicated to the Shooters GC who are the best people on Tumblr.

Quick Info: The songs used in this chapter are You Were Beautiful by Day6. Park Yoona who plays Sujin said in an interview that she liked Day6, specifically this song. Haru by Royal Pirates is a personal favorite of mine. It has the same theme as True Beauty that in real love, things like looks don’t matter. The final song that Seojun sings to Sujin is Half Moon by Dean. Hwang In Yeop who plays Seojun stated that he liked this song in an interview.

Pairing: Kang Sujin x Han Seojun

Romantic Trope: Haters to friends to lovers

Word Count: 16.2k [this one is LONG]

Rating: T

PART 3

i.

“What have I done?” Sujin pulled at her hair in frustration.

The deal she had made with Han Seojun had been the on account of the many shots of soju she had taken. It was only when she had sobered up the next morning that she realized, with horror, just what exactly she had promised.

It was a bad idea. On paper it sounded plausible; two people suffering from the same pain could empathize with each other. But in reality, going through a heartbreak meant that you needed someone to support you, not the other way around. Trying to support someone whilst being in pain yourself was hard. And in this particular case, it would be impossible. Mainly because the people Kang Sujin and Han Seojun liked were with each other.  

Sujin could see her and Han Seojun’s fledgling friendship going up in flames before it had even had a chance to fly. She would always want to talk about Lee Suho and he would resent that since Suho was the one dating Jukyung. Seojun would want to talk about Jukyung and Sujin would find that annoying for the same reason.

It was a recipe for disaster.

“Yah, gimme your number.” Sujin had demanded last night, handing Han Seojun her phone after he had agreed to her stupid proposal. Seojun had obediently entered his number at her behest. She programmed her number in his phone as well.

“There. Now we can text each other if we ever need to talk.”

“Ya, why am I Gangster in your phone?” Seojun had protested when he had saw her type it out.

Sujin had chuckled, drunk on soju. “Because you’re a gangster, you gangster.”

“Is that so?” Seojun proceeded to type away furiously into his phone. He held it up for Sujin to see.

“Princess? Are we kindergarteners?” Sujin had frowned.

Seojun stuck his tongue out. “That’s what you get for naming me Gangster.”

Sujin had retaliated, editing his contact. “Here!” She held up her phone.

“Wha-What? Twerp?”

Sujin blanked on the argument that had proceeded after this but she knew they did argue. To the point that the owner of the tent bar kicked them out. 

Now Sujin was stuck with the contact named as Twerp on her phone and she had no idea what to do with it. Should she text him? Should she delete it? Should she just pretend last night didn’t happen?

She knew she should choose the third option. Or even the second. But her hand itched to send Seojun a text and see if he really was up for hanging out.

All day long Sujin kept checking her phone, looking for any new messages or missed calls she may have received. All she got were some memes from Suah and everyone else’s responses to those messages on their group chat. Han Seojun had also responded with a laughing emoji. Which meant he wasn’t too body or occupied to text Sujin.

Then why wasn’t he texting her?

Why do I care?

Sujin knew why. It was because she had no body else to talk to about what was bothering her. Normally, she would have called Jukyung but this time, she couldn’t. Jukyung’s giant engagement ring kept flashing in her mind over and over. It even plagued her dreams last night.

Sujin needed to occupy herself. Her current jobless situation wasn’t helping things either. She quickly fired a text to Suah to see if she was free to hang.

Sorry Kang Su! Me and Taehoon are going to visit his parents. Suah had replied.

Sujin looked at her list of contacts. There was no one else but Han Seojun who she could ask. Reluctantly, she texted him.

I’m going to the batting cages. Wanna join me?

Sujin pressed send before she could stop herself and was immediately filled with deep regret she saw the “Seen” check appear.

One minute, two minute, fifteen minutes passed. He didn’t reply.

“Guess he wasn’t interested.” Sujin lamented. It would have been nice to have someone to hang with, but given the obvious rejection, she had to make do with just lonesome herself.

Kang Sujin wasn’t exactly a prodigy at sports, but she was considerably better than most. Batting happened to be one of her strong suits.

Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!

She hit each ball with graceful ease. Her brows were furrowed in focus. Her breathing controlled and steady. Sujin had learned long ago that sports aided in dealing with her rage and frustrations. It was a way to release all of her worries in a healthy manner and channel inner peace.

Thwack! Thwack!

She hit again and again, not caring about the score, just wanting to get the shot.

“Wow, I’m impressed.”

“Huh?” Sujin carelessly turned and her surprise at finding Han Seojun standing in the adjacent batting area was only thwarted by the ball hitting her in the torso. She yelped in pain.

“Oh, gwenchana?” Seojun asked in concern.

“Aish.” Sujin held her side and moved out of the way of the pitching machine. She gave Seojun a scathing look. “What are you doing here?”

“You asked to meet here didn’t you?”

“People normally respond to invitations to confirm they’re coming.” Sujin checked herself for injuries before resuming her batting position.

Seojun was quiet. “I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to meet you.”

Thwack! Sujin hit a ball. “Oh, yeah? What made you change your mind?”

Seojun picked up his bat, not responding. The pitching machine on his lane whirred to life. He hit his ball. Thwack! “Did you see the video Jukyung posted?”

“Ah-nee.” Sujin replied. Thwack!

“She posted a bridal makeup tutorial.”

Sujin missed the next ball. And the one after that. Seojun could feel her gaze on his back but didn’t dare turn. From his posture Sujin could sense hostility. Which was fine, she hadn’t invited him here to talk. She invited him here to vent. She resumed her batting.

“I scored higher than you.” Sujin informed with a grin once they were done.

“Good for you.” Han Seojun said, unimpressed.

He still seemed on edge. Sujin had tried to engage him during their small breaks between the game but all he had given her were clipped answers.

“Did you watch the entire video?”

“Yes.”

“How did it feel?”

“How do you think I felt?”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Just hit the ball.”

Sujin didn’t know how Seojun was when they had parted, but she herself felt significantly better. She went home with a peaceful mind and even discovered that she had gotten a call from a prospective employer. They asked if she could come in for an interview the following week. Perhaps things would be getting better from now on.

Or perhaps not.

The interview had gone horribly wrong, especially after the interviewer realized who she was. Sujin had expected a polite rejection but instead the interviewer had decided that she deserved a lecture on bullying from him.

“You know. I was bullied too as a kid.” The interviewer had said.

The experience had left her shaken. Was this going to be her life from now on? Would she just be kicked out of society just like that, over a badly reported gossip article?

Sujin’s hands ached to be washed but she refused to even think about it. She needed an outlet and she knew exactly what she wanted. It was then that she got a text from Han Seojun.

Let’s meet.

Sujin told him where to show up.

“You know jujitsu?” Seojun was surprised when she had invited him for a match.

“Don’t you?” Sujin said, clad in her white Gi. She had been warming up when Seojun had arrived clad in jeans and a hoodie. He had a cap on underneath the hood.

“I don’t fight with girls.”

“And what if a girl fights with you?”

Seojun chuckled incredulously.

“If you can laugh like that then you can show me what you’ve got, no? Or are you afraid you’ll lose like you lost in the batting cages.”

“That wasn’t a competition.”

Sujin smirked, “Sure it wasn’t.”

Seojun rolled his eyes and went to change out of his clothes.

Smack! Down Han Seojun went. He had gone easy on Kang Sujin for the first round because she was a girl. But she had immediately disarmed him and thrown him over her shoulder. Grinning like a wolf, she immediately took the fighting position again, leaving Han Seojun to recover on the floor.

“First one doesn’t count!” He argued.

“What’s wrong, Han Seojun? Can’t even fight against a girl?”

Seojun got up, “Alright. I won’t be going easy on you anymore.”

“Fine by me.”

Sujin attacked first, Seojun quickly blocked her, wrapped his arms around her waist and tried to push her down. She wrapped her legs around him and swiveled him around so that he fell. Then she quickly wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling at his arm.

“You fight without strategy.” Sujin said through clenched teeth as she tried to keep him down. Seojun managed to turn her entire body over, releasing himself.

“Fighting is about instinct. Not strategies.” Seojun went for the attack this time. Sujin blocked him but he easily maneuvered around her, throwing her down and pinning her in place with all his strength. It was an awkward position to be in, but he didn’t care. He would not let her win.

“Anything without a strategy is doomed to fail.” She grabbed his collar and adjusted her leg to flip them over. Now she was keeping him down.

“Nope. Instincts always win.” He weaseled out of her grip and they parted.

Sujin took fighting position again. She easily jabbed and smacked him around while Seojun blocked haphazardly. She was precise and focused, knowing exactly where to hit and how.

In her mind, she wasn’t fighting with Han Seojun. She was fighting with her interviewer. She jabbed and blocked and kicked the man who had sat and judged her without even hearing her side of the story. It was cathartic to let this all out. And if Han Seojun got hurt in the way, then she didn’t mind.

Sujin and Seojun fought for a long time, both sweating and panting with exhaustion but neither relenting.

“I’m still winning Han Seojun.” Sujin said with labored breath.

“We’re not done yet.”

Smack! Down Han Seojun went. Again, and again, and again.

“Had enough?” Sujin asked as they parted.

“Never.”

Seojun attacked. Sujin easily blocked it, kicking him in the chest. The mat was slick with their sweat. Sujin didn’t see Seojun slip and fall to his knees. She only spun around to deliver a roundhouse kick to his torso. But the kick would have hit him in the face. Except, except Han Seojun caught her ankle just in time. The force of it nearly knocked him down.

“I can’t let you hit my face.” He said with a half smirk.

“Wae?” She asked with a flick of her brow.

“It’s a precious commodity.”

He pulled Sujin by her ankle, bringing her leg to his side. She fell on him, using his shoulders to brace herself. Their noses were almost touching. He cupped her calf and grabbed her sleeve to hold her in place.

It was too close. Sujin’s mind went blank. And that was the opening Seojun needed to throw her down.

“I won that round.” He grinned, standing up.

“Doesn’t matter. I’m still ahead.” Sujin’s face still felt hot. She got up and straightened her Gi. “I think that’s enough for today.”

Seojun nodded. “You hungry?” He asked. After the workout she had just had, she was ravenous.

They went to a nearby convenience store where they got ramen. Seojun watched in surprise as Sujin hungrily chowed down.

“What?” Sujin asked.

“You are a very unexpected girl, Kang Sujin.” Seojun took off his cap and ran his hand through his hair.

Sujin smiled and stirred her ramen. “So, what happened this time?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why’d you ask to see me today? Did Jukyung post another video?”

Seojun hesitated. “Last time… I was in a bad mood. But you seemed like you wanted to talk.”

Sujin gave a slow smile. “What? You felt guilty?”

“Yes.” Seojun said unabashedly.

“You know we don’t have to talk. Maybe we can just keep each other company.”

“Sure. That seems fine.” Seojun looked at her critically. “But something was bothering you today.”

Sujin bit her cheek. “I had an interview today.”

“Didn’t go well.” It wasn’t a question.

Sujin told him, about how her interviewer treated her. About how she feared she may never get a job again.

“Ah-nee, how can people be so ridiculous? You already settled the matter didn’t you? Then what’s everybody’s problem?” Seojun’s outburst warmed Sujin’s heart. It felt good to talk and share. It made Sujin feel lighter. She wondered if she could return the favor.

“You didn’t tell me what you thought of Jukyung’s video.”

Seojun’s face fell. “Ah. That.” He leaned back and sighed. “Did you see it?”

“Yeah.”

Seojun’s face was a strange combination of pain and admiration. “She looked beautiful, didn’t she?”

Sujin’s voice was small. “Yeah, she did.” And Suho probably thought so too.

“They’ve been together for so long. Marriage was inevitable. But now that it’s happening… I don’t know. I just feel… honestly I don’t even know what I feel anymore.”

“I know what you mean. I can’t imagine how I’m going to attend the wedding.”

“My mom’s inviting the two over for dinner to celebrate. Imagine having to sit through that.”

“Yikes. Does your mom know how you feel?”

“Of course, she does. But Lee Suho is my best friend and she’s happy for him.”

“Well… I’m always here,” Sujin held up her phone, “just a text away. If you need me.”

“What I need right now is more food.” Seojun got up.

“Aren’t idols supposed to diet?”

“Not when they’ve had their ass kicked twelve times. You want anything?”

“Nah. I’m full.”

While Han Seojun went inside, Sujin checked her phone for any messages and emails. She had applied to a dozen non-profit companies. None of them, except the interview today, had gotten back.

“Omo. Isn’t that, that girl?” Someone said loudly.

“Yah! Shhh!”

Sujin looked up to some mean looking high schoolers gawking at her. There were three of them but the one standing in the front was clearly the leader. The girls to her side was trying to keep her quiet but unsuccessfully.

“It is! Look. Its that woman, Kang Sujin! Wah! I never thought I’d meet someone I read about online in real life.” The leader girl came forward, crossing her arms.

Sujin stood up to her full height. The girl was shorter than her, but she was undeterred. Sujin half admired her courage.

“Can I help you?” Sujin asked in a measured tone.

The leader girl stared Sujin down. “Check out her audacity. Should someone who’s hated by everyone be talking like that?” The girl spoke in banmal.

“I don’t know you. And you don’t know me. So why don’t you leave?” Sujin suggested. These kids were younger than her, although by not much. They looked like seniors who might have been held back a year or two.

“Why should I leave? You leave.”

“I was here first.”

“This is my usual place. My boyfriend’s coming here to meet me.” The girl said self-assuredly.

“Then let him come. There’s enough space for the both of us.”

“I don’t think so.” The girl got right in her face. “You’re the girl who seduced our Seojun Oppa, aren’t you? Don’t you know that you almost ruined his career by doing that?”

Sujin laughed at the thought of Han Seojun being someone’s Oppa. He always seemed so childish to her.

“Oh, you think its funny to ruin someone’s career?”

Sujin tried to explain calmly, “No, no. I wasn’t—"

The girl pushed her, “Women like you are everything that’s wrong with the world!”

The old Kang Sujin would have kicked this rude girl’s ass by this point. But Sujin was trying to be a new Kang Sujin, one that didn’t hate easily. Sujin sighed. “Kid, just leave me alone.”

The girl poked her finger in Sujin’s shoulder. “And what if I don’t?”

Sujin raised a hand and the girl flinched. But Sujin only stroked her head. “Youngster, you shouldn’t be so rude to people.”

“Like you were to Lim Jukyung?” Sujin’s face hardened as the girl taunted, “What? You guys are friends now? Who would buy that bullshit? People are you are such trash. You go around flaunting your beauty, seducing our idols. Trash like you doesn’t belong here.”

“Yah, stop it!” The girl’s friends warned from behind.

“Chaeri, you’ll get into trouble.”

Chaeri didn’t listen. “Leave! I don’t want people like you here.” She told Sujin.

It was one thing to be nice. It was quite another to be weak. And Kang Sujin was anything but weak. “You want me to leave?” Sujin said. “Then make me.” Sujin stood her ground, glaring at the girl.

Chaeri smiled. “Okay.” She reached over to the half finished can of soda that Han Seojun had left on the table and poured it over Sujin.

Sujin closed her eyes to calm herself. Don’t engage Kang Sujin.

“Here you go, b****.”

Alright, screw it.

Sujin’s eyes popped open enraged. “What did you just call me? B****?” She grabbed Chaeri’s hair and pulled.

Chaeri screamed, “Yah! What are you doing?”

“I was going easy on you since you’re a teenager. But now I see you need to be taught a lesson.” Sujin kept her grip firmly on the Chaeri hair as the girl struggled to break free. “Listen carefully. Just because someone has allegedly done something wrong doesn’t mean you get to take justice in your hands. If you see something wrong, you speak up about it. If it’s happening in front of you, you stop it. But you don’t go around harassing someone without even understanding the full story, arachi? If I’m a bully, then go tell the police and have them investigate. Calling me names and bothering me only makes you another bully, not an avenger.”

Sujin let go. Chaeri ran and cowered by her friends who looked at Sujin in fear.

“Now get out of my sight. And don’t let me see you girls again.”

The girls ran away as Sujin watched. She didn’t enjoy what had just happened. It left a bitter taste in her mouth.

Was I too harsh?

“Remind me never to piss you off again.” Han Seojun came to stand by her.

“Mwo-ya, were you watching? How long were you here.”

“I came out when I saw you grabbing that girl’s hair.”

Sujin frowned in worry. “I wasn’t—”

“I know.” Seojun came forward, eyeing her head. “I heard the speech. Did they do this?” He pointed to her wet hair.

“Ugh. Yeah.” Sujin groaned.

“Let’s go inside. You can clean up.”

Sujin used the convenience store bathroom to wash out the soda from her hair. She dried off with some paper towels but her head looked like a mess when she was done. She tried to smoothen it down but then it stuck to her face weirdly.

In the store, Han Seojun was signing an autograph for the store clerk. “Ya, gimme that.” Sujin came up behind him and took his cap off from him, putting it on herself. Han Seojun didn’t bat an eye lash.

“Here you go.” He told the clerk.

“Thank you. My girlfriend will really appreciate it.” The clerk beamed.

The convenience store entrance rang as they exited.

“You can keep that cap.” Seojun told Sujin.

“Ah really?”

“Yah! Are you the one who harassed my girlfriend?”

Seojun and Sujin turned. The high schooler, Chaeri, was standing there with four hulking boys, all looking like miscreants with their mean faces and unkempt clothing. They seemed older than high school kids, more like college students. The girl’s friends were notably missing. It was just her and the four thugs.

“Han Seojun,” Sujin whispered, “you leave.”

“No.” He said casually, yet firmly.

“You could get into another scandal, you idiot!” Sujin hissed.

“No.”

Sujin clenched her jaw. “Listen to me, you dolt. You’ll—”

“Omo! Is that Han Seojun?” Chaeri was staring, eyes wide in wonder. “It is! Oh my God, Oppa! Is that you? Why are you here?” Chaeri’s eyes passed between Seojun and Sujin. “Oppa, are you actually dating this girl?” She asked, sounding betrayed.

“You know this guy?” Chaeri’s boyfriend asked.

“He’s Han Seojun. He’s an idol.”

“He’s not with me.” Sujin declared as she walked up to the group, putting distance between her and Seojun. “We just coincidentally met inside.” She stood resolutely with her shoulders squared, not showing an ounce of fear.

Seojun walked up and stood Sujin. “I am with her. So what? You got a problem?” He asked Chaeri.

Sujin’s face contorted in exasperation. Han Seojun, you idiot!

The boyfriend looked amused at the situation. “Aaah. I see now. You think that just because your boyfriend is a big shot idol that you can do whatever you want?”

“That’s not what happened. Your girlfriend here harassed me first.” Sujin explained coolly.

“Oppa, she’s lying.” The girl said. “I was just walking by and she started pulling my hair.” 

Sujin scoffed. “What an obvious lie. You gonna believe that?”

“I don’t see why I have to believe you.” The boyfriend replied.

“Why would I attack her without any reason?”

“Oppa, she did it because I was a fan of Han Seojun.” Chaeri looked at Seojun, “Aren’t you going to defend your fans?”

Seojun tilted his head. “My fans don’t go around harassing my friends.”

Chaeri’s mouth fell open. “What?”

“Also, no real fan would damage their idol’s reputation but causing a scene like this. Don’t you know it reflects badly on me when say I have toxic fans?”

Chaeri’s face contorted in anger. Sujin gulped, “Han Seojun, shut up.”

“Oppa, you’re going to just let these people treat me this way?” Chaeri pulled at her boyfriend’s arm.

The boyfriend leaned down to Sujin, “Listen here ahjumma, you hurt my girlfriend. That action is going to come with consequences.”

Seojun grabbed the boy’s collar, pushing him away from Sujin. “You can’t call yourself a man if you threaten women like this.”

The boyfriend laughed, before he went in for the punch. Seojun dodged it and kicked the guy in the chest, sending him backwards. Chaeri squealed and jumped to the side. The other three thugs went for Seojun and Sujin.

Sujin brought one of them down with a spin kick in the face. The other two boys were on Seojun. Sujin kicked one of them away and dragged him further by his hair.

It was difficult for Sujin and Seojun to keep up. The thugs, while young, were still huge and more in number. Sujin took her time to size up her opponents, hitting and dodging accordingly.  Seojun fought in his typical instinctive manner, taking many hits but also delivering his own. 

One of the boys had Seojun backed up in the corner and by this time the boyfriend had gotten back up. Seojun didn’t see the boyfriend, but Sujin did. The boyfriend picked up a stick lying on the corner of the street by the garbage cans. Two thugs were on Seojun now, holding him back as the boyfriend raised the stick, aiming to swing it right in Seojun’s face.

In that moment, Sujin forgot all about fighting with strategy. All she could think of was saving Han Seojun. She ran into the boyfriend, taking him down with her entire body. She kicked him in the groin, causing so much pain that the boy’s face became red. Han Seojun, and the two thugs holding him back, were staring at her speechless.

“I won’t let you hit his face.” She told the boyfriend. Then, giving Seojun a sideways look she added, “It’s a hot commodity.”

Seojun took this opening to break free and kick the thugs away. Sujin swung the stick and hit one of them in the back. The last one standing decided to be smart and ran away.

Seojun and Sujin looked at each other, and the high schoolers lying on the ground, moaning in pain. They had won and it felt good. Seojun looked at something behind Sujin. She followed his line of sight and found Chaeri standing by the corner, recording everything on her phone.

Sujin walked up to her. “Give it while I’m being nice.”

“I’m recording this too you know.” Chaeri said insolently.

Sujin smiled. Then spun around to kick Chaeri, except she missed her face by an inch.

“Ah, how sad. I missed.”

Chaeri just stood, frozen in place. Seojun walked up, pulled the phone from her hand and smashed it to the ground.

“Am I going to hear about this online?” It was a rhetorical question. Said with such authority, in that deep angry baritone, that even Sujin felt intimidated.

Chaeri just shook her head.

“Good. Lets go, Kang Sujin.” Seojun led Sujin away by her arm.

“So, like I said. Remind me never to piss you off again.” Seojun repeated. Sujin chuckled. “Also…” Seojun rubbed the back of his head, “Thanks… for saving me back there.”

“Don’t mention it. After all, we have to protect his hot commodity.” Sujin teased. Instead of getting annoyed like she expected him to, Han Seojun smirked.

“You know I never said my face was a hot commodity. I only said it was a precious commodity.” Sujin stopped in her tracks as she realized he was right. But Seojun kept on walking smugly. “I guess you think I’m hot.” He called back to her.

“No way!” Sujin yelled as she ran after him. “No way!” ii.

Things had changed between Kang Sujin and Han Seojun. They were way past enmity now. In fact, Seojun couldn’t even remember the hate he used to have for her. They were also past the courteous co-existence they had sustained for a brief period where they acted polite and nice to one another which was more a sign of them being strangers than anything else.

Now Han Seojun and Kang Sujin really could say that they were friends. Hanging out together had become a weekly ritual. Almost always, it was prompted by something Jukyung or Suho did.

The night of Suho’s and Jukyung’s the engagement party, hosted by Suho’s father, they went to karaoke to sing their hearts out. As expected, Seojun was the better singer. But Sujin wasn’t exactly bad herself. Her song choices were about self-empowerment and having fun. Seojun chose soft, ballads that were clearly about Jukyung.

“One day, my songs will be on a karaoke machine too.” Seojun had wished as they had walked back home.

“And then I will sing it.” Sujin encouraged.

“And ruin it.”

Sujin punched him in the shoulder.

The time Suho and Jukyung announced their wedding on Jukyung’s channel, they went to an arcade. Of course, Sujin beat Seojun at every game.

“Ah-nee, how do you know how to play? All I ever saw you doing in school was study.”

“Just accept it, Han Seojun. I’m better than you.”

“At bragging maybe.”

The time Jukyung got drunk and went around hugging Han Seojun thinking he was Suho, they went for a drive on his bike.

Sujin had insisted that he teach her how to ride it.

“Aren’t you afraid?” Seojun remebered how terrified Jukyung had been when she first rode with him.

“Why would I be?” Sujin asked, confused.

She took to the bike quickly and soon was riding them both around the city without Seojun’s guidance.

“Not too bad, Kang Sujin.” Seojun was impressed. Sujin grinned triumphantly.

As per their agreement, the two looked out for each other when they were with the group, making sure their feelings weren’t too apparent. At the night of the engagement party, Sujin kept covering for Seojun when he didn’t participate in conversations as much as he usually did. She would answer for him or change the subject. On the same night, Seojun had been the one to sneak Sujin away when she was on the verge of breaking into tears when the couple was cutting the cake. No one had noticed the two heart broken friends that night. All eyes had been on Jukyung and Suho.

On the same night that Jukyung had gotten drunk, Han Seojun had been the one to distract Suah when she kept pushing Jukyung into dating a guy she knew from work. And on a separate occasion, when the group was out for dinner and had run into Suho’s father, Seojun had kept a firm hand on Sujin’s back when Lee Joheon spoke at length on how sad he was about her parents’ divorce.

As uncanny as it seemed, it was undeniable. Han Seojun and Kang Sujin were friends now. Oddly enough, no one seemed to have picked up on their closeness, despite the fact that they never hid it from anyone. Sujin mentioned that Seojun had taught her how to ride his bike but the statement went unnoticed for its inclusion of Han Seojun. All Suah and Jukyung cared about was how dangerous it was to drive bikes.

“Han Seojun! Stop being a bad influence on Sujin!” Jukyung had scolded.

“What did I do? She’s the one who wanted to learn. And she’s not so innocent either. Just ask her about how she beat me in jiujitsu.” Seojun had pointed a finger at her.

“You know Jiujitsu?” Suho had asked, ignoring the part about her beating Seojun.

“Yeah. We should spar sometime.”

And so things went on and Jukyung’s and Suho’s wedding date inched closer and closer. But Sujin felt nothing had really improved with her feelings about Suho.

“We should really get to the therapy part one of these days.” Sujin casually said over a cup of coffee. This time, they had opted for a quiet meeting in a café.

Seojun considered her request. “What should we talk about?”

They both drew a blank, neither able to come up with a good starting point. Their feelings were so complicated and tangled that neither knew were to start unraveling.

Sujin raised a hand, fingers spread out wide. “Five questions.” She said, and with each word she lowered a finger, “Who, What, When, Where and Why.” She said in English.

“What’s that?”

“Its how you gather basic information. You ask yourself these questions.” Sujin explained, translating in Korean, “Who is it? What is it? When was it? and Why was it?”

Seojun nodded. “Okay. You first.”

“Hmm… We can skip the Who since we already know who it is. So, what is it that I like about Lee Suho? Hmm…” Sujin had to think for a minute. 

The first thing that popped into her mind was her father. She and Suho both had troubled relationships with their fathers and at the time, Sujin had felt that Suho could understand her better because because of this. But she couldn’t tell Han Seojun that. Having a dysfunctional family made her feel like a freak. She didn’t need Han Seojun knowing about her private problems, even if they were friends. 

So instead of the truth, she said, “He was cool,”  

Seojun scoffed. “Kang Sujin were you that shallow?”

Sujin looked at him flatly. “It wasn’t just that! It was… well, he was always cold to everyone else. But he still treated me better.” Sujin looked at her hands, nervously playing with her thumbs. “I guess I liked how he was with me. And I liked that he wasn’t shallow like most boys are. ”

That answer seemed more acceptable to Seojun. “I don’t think I can distill my feelings to just a couple of traits. I like everything about Lim Jukyung. The way she smiles, the way she ties up her hair, how kind and caring she is with everyone… she just has this warmth about her that just… draws you in.”

“I know what you mean.” Sujin agreed. But there was a little part of her that resented Seojun’s compliments of Jukyung. Wasn’t she kind and caring too? Didn’t she have any warmth?

Probably not. Her father’s voice said. Sujin pushed it away.

“When did you first start liking Lee Suho?” Seojun asked.

Sujin thought for a minute. “I don’t know. I just know that when I noticed I liked him, it felt like I had always liked him.” She sat up straight. “What about you? When did you start liking Jukyung?”

After a pause he replied, “When I started to get to know her. I can’t say exactly when… But I noticed my heart would act weird after she started teasing me about my underwear--”

“Say what now? What underwear?” Sujin perked up. It was at this moment that Han Seojun knew, that he had messed up. He could feel himself get red in the face.

“It was nothing. What I meant was—”

“Nononono, no. Han Seojun, you’re not getting out of this one. Tell me. What underwear?”

Seojun crossed his arms, “I’m not saying a word.”

Their therapy session had ended there. Sujin tried again and again to get Seojun to reveal what the underwear incident was but he kept his silence. He would die before he ever told anyone about how Jukyung had seen him dancing around in his cheetah print underwear.

Han Seojun still experienced PTSD when he heard “Okey Dokey yo!” from anywhere.

iii.

Seojun didn’t know how the fight began. They had met up for dinner after Sujin got off from work. She had taken up various part time jobs to pay the bills. With her being busy throughout the day, dinner was the only time they could meet.

They had been talking about Suho and Jukyung. Seojun normally danced around the topic of what Sujin had done back in high school now that they were friends. But this time she had brought it up herself.

“Do you remember that picture I took of you?”

“Yeah.” Seojun still remembered how flatly she had said You look cool. He had almost admired her audacity back then, and he did so more now.

“I traded it to get the info on Jukyung.” She admitted quietly.

“Ah, even back then my face was such a hot commodity.” Seojun said smugly.

Sujin made a face at him.

They joked about the past, about how Han Seojun hadn’t changed since then, about how Sujin had changed so much. Then, as they walked towards Sujin’s apartment, they got into the serious stuff. About how Sujin just disappeared after the truth about her was revealed, about how Seojun was right that she had only destroyed herself, and no one else.

“I wish I hadn’t done all that. Looking back, I want to kick myself.” Sujin had said.

“You should have shared, about what you were going through. Suah and Jukyung would have understood. I mean, having your father treat you the way he did… it must have made everything harder to deal with. Looking back, I might have acted better too, even helped y--”

Seojun suddenly noticed that Sujin wasn’t with him. She had stopped in her tracks and was glaring at him but Seojun couldn’t understand why.

“W-what do you mean my father’s treatment?” Sujin asked icily, her face was unreadable.

“Well… didn’t he used to beat you and pressure you for—”

“Shut up! Just shut up, Han Seojun!” Sujin suddenly freaked out. And it scared Seojun.

“What’s wrong?” He asked with concern. He moved towards her, but she moved back.

She looked at him coldly. “Who the hell told you about this? Was it Suho? It was Suho, wasn’t it? No one else knows besides him.”

Seojun hesitated. “Actually... that time when I met your mom—”

Sujin blinked rapidly. “So you’re saying that you’ve known about this all this time?”

“Kang Sujin, calm down its not a—”

Sujin spoke through clenched teeth, “What’s not a big deal? The fact that my family is broken or the fact that my father was an abusive asshole? What exactly about it is not a big deal, Han Seojun?”

Seojun was thoroughly confused now. “Sujin-ah.” he called out to her but she kept moving back with every step he took towards her. She was shaking quite visibly.

“Did you have fun, thinking I was so tragic and damaged? Did you have fun pitying me all this time? Did you—” Sujin’s eyes went wide as if she hit a realization. “Ya Han Seojun… did you become friends with me because you pitied me?” She said the word with such acidity that Seojun flinched.

It would be a lie to say it hadn’t influenced his opinion of her. But it wasn’t the only reason they were friends. Surely Sujin had to understand that.

“Sujin-ah—”

“It’s true, isn’t it?” Sujin’s lip quivered. “All this time, you’ve only treated me decently because you thought I was some tragic case—”

“You know that’s not true.” Seojun protested but Sujin wasn’t listening.

“—and here I was thinking we were actually friends. Han Seojun, would you have even been nice to me if you hadn’t known?”

“Does that matter?” Seojun asked, frustrated, “We’re friends now, aren’t we?” 

That had been the wrong thing to say. Sujin’s eyes flamed as she suddenly switched. Gone was the shaking and the freaked out look. Sujin was now very calm and cold; calculating in her movements. She gave a sarcastic smile. “Ya Han Seojun. Do you know? I pity you too.”

“What?”

“Pathetically liking someone for so long, whining like a boy over everything, acting all childish, you think that makes you attractive?”

“Ya, Kang Sujin—” Seojun warned.

“I bet Jukyung pities you too.” Sujin stalked up to Seojun. “Ah, that loser, Han Seojun, until when is he going to be hung up on me? I bet that’s what she thinks every time she sees you.”

They glared at each other for the longest time. Maybe too long.

“Kang Sujin… you are seriously messed up.” Was all Seojun said before he walked away; from Sujin and the entire situation. Sujin’s eyes filled with tears which she furiously blinked away.

If Sujin had been more like Jukyung, she would have dealt with this situation maturely. Lim Kukyung would have faced her emotions and not taken Seojun’s sympathy as pity. Lim Jukyung would have been up front about how she felt and not pushed Seojun away. Lim Jukyung would have been better.

But Kang Sujin was not Lim Jukyung. Kang Sujin was a messed up girl.

iv.

“Has anyone heard from Sujin recently?” Jukyung asked the group. They were all gathered for lunch, all except Seojun and Sujin, both of whom had been absent these past couple of get-togethers.

“Wae? Has something happened?” Suah asked.

“Not really. But she hasn’t been replying as much to my texts.” Jukyung pouted.

“You know what Kang Su is like. She’s rarely online. Plus, she’s working all these jobs now.”

“She always replies to me though,” Jukyung muttered to herself as she looked at her chat with Sujin. The one Sujin hadn’t responded to since four days.

“Is Seojun not coming today either?” Taehoon asked Suho.

“Don’t know. He’s so busy with brand practice these days that he barely replies to me.”

“Guys! Sorry I’m late!” Sujin rushed towards the group.

“Kang Su!” Jukyung and Suah welcomed her.

“We were afraid you wouldn’t show up again.” Jukyung said, putting her arm through Sujin’s.

“Kang Su-ya,” Suah said, playfully nudging Sujin’s shoulder, “you’re all dressed up. Did you just come back from a date?” Indeed Sujin was wearing a sleek black pant suit with full makeup on.

“Who went on a date?” Seojun arrived but stopped when he saw Sujin. Sujin held her breath as she waited for him to say something.

“Our Kang Su.” Suah responded. Seojun just flicked a brow but betrayed no emotion. He took a seat besides Suho.

“Ya! It wasn’t a date. I just came back from an interview.” She grinned.

“Ooh! How did it go?”

Sujin kept her silence for a second before she finally burst with excitement, “I got it!” The girls squealed at the good news. “Its at this non-profit that works with providing clean water to under-developed countries.” She showed everyone the website for the company and the work that they did on her phone.

Everyone congratulated Sujin on her accomplishment. Even Seojun gave her a “Congratulations.” To which she thanked him.

“I’m glad you’re here. I didn’t think you’d come.” Suho told Seojun.

He wasn’t going to. But he had heard that Sujin hadn’t been present either and he had figured it would be okay for him to join everyone if she wasn’t there. 

She should have been an actress, Seojun thought as he watched Sujin behave like nothing was wrong.

The conversation over lunch flowed easily as it usually did. Everyone laughed, joked and shared about what had happened since they last met. No one seemed to notice that Seojun and Sujin were not speaking directly to each other, even once. They only spoke to everyone else.

It was only when Seojun was leaving the men’s room that he found Sujin waiting for him and jumped in surprise.

“Ah, ggam-jjak-ee-ya!” Seojun held his chest in shock.

“Aww, the great Han Seojun get’s scared?”

“Only when confronted by pervert girls who stalk boys outside the washrooms.”

Sujin narrowed her eyes. “Shut up! I wasn’t stalking. I was only waiting to talk to you.”

“That’s equally worrying. What do you want?” He said dismissively.

Sujin handed him a keychain. It was his own face made in cartoon form. “Here. I know how much you love seeing yourself.”

“What’s this for?”

Sujin cleared her throat. “An apology. Mianhae, Han Seojun. Last time—”

“I don’t want to hear it.” He handed the keychain back to Sujin. She grabbed his arm as he tried to leave.

“At least hear me out.”

“No.” Seojun pushed her arm away.

Sujin’s lips tightened. She grabbed Seojun’s arm again, pulling him with brute strength. “Will you just listen to me you big baby! I’m trying to apologize.” She glared at him.

“Why? I thought you hated me.”

Sujin’s face softened. “I don’t hate you, Han Seojun.” She let go of his arm. “That time… when you started talking about my father, I just lost it. I haven’t actually told anybody about what he did to me. Not even Suah and Jukyung know. All they know is that he was tough on me.”

“Lee Suho knows.” Seojun accused.

“He figured it out on his own. I never actually told him. How could I?” Sujin felt ridiculous admitting it out loud, “How could I tell him that I don’t know what a happy family looks like? I see Jukyung with her dad and Suah with hers and how they have such good relationships, and I can’t imagine being the same way with my father. And that makes me feel like a freak. People already give me weird looks because of my parents’ divorce. If they knew about my father, they’d think that I was crazy… and maybe I am, who knows.”

Seojun softened. “You’re not crazy, Sujin-ah.” 

There it was, that pity on Han Seojun’s face. Sujin hated it but she had come today to this lunch only to apologize to him and that is what she was going to do.

“I am, Han Seojun. Why else would I have said all of those mean things?” Sujin’s voice shook. Seojun moved to hug her but she stepped away. Him comforting her would be too much, she would fall to pieces if he did. She had to hold herself together, on her own. “I’m sorry Han Seojun. I didn’t mean any of it. Not a single word.”

Seojun nodded. “I know.” He felt like a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders and only then did he notice how bothered he really had been about their fight.

“You guys not coming?” Suho asked as he passed by. Seojun and Sujin straightened themselves up and joined the others.

They found the girls giggling at something on Jukyung’s phone.

“What’s funny?”

“Ya Kang Sujin, your nose looks so big in this!” Suah commented. Jukyung turned the phone to Sujin. It was the video of the live event they had done.

“Aish!” Sujin said disapprovingly. “I look so weird in this video.”

Suho and Taehoon leaned over and laughed too as Sujin robotically read off the comments in the video.

“Maybe we can go Seojun’s makeup next.” Jukyung suggested.

“I’m a celebrity, Lim Jukyung.” He said haughtily, pulling the lapels of his jacket, “You can’t just have me on any show.”

Sujin wrinkled her nose at Seojun, “This coming from a guy who didn’t even know the difference between ppt and fitting.”

“That never happened!” Seojun contested. Everyone else laughed.

“Sujin-ah. Maybe I can have you on as a guest next time.” Jukyung suggested.

“Sure.” Sujin put her arm around Jukyung and whispered audibly, “And let’s do it when Suho isn’t around.” The girls winked to each other.

Suho smacked Sujin’s hand away from Jukyung’s shoulder. “Keep your hands off my girlfriend.”

“Sure. But I can’t guarantee she’ll keep her hands off me.” Sujin grinned evilly. Suho’s wide eyed, worried, expression made Jukyung laugh.

v.

Han Seojun fell on his face for the umpteenth time as he tried to hit the ball that Sujin had served. He was lucky they were all on the beach and his face was hitting soft sand instead of concrete.

“Ya, who’s idea was it to play volleyball?” Seojun asked as he brushed himself off.

“Quit being a sore loser, Han Seo!” Sujin called from the girl’s side of the net.

“Just you watch. I will make you eat your words!”

Of course, the boys lost. Suho was too distracted by Jukyung. Taehoon played bad on purpose because Suah said she wanted to win. Chorong was a bad at playing in general. The only two people taking this seriously were Han Seojun and Kang Sujin who ran around covering up for their team mates, as if their lives depended on winning. Sujin in particular refused to let Seojun get a single goal.

“You must really hate Han Seojun, huh?” Suah asked once the game was over.

“No. I just don’t like to lose.”

“Look at her, it’s like she’s going to war.” Jukyung laughed at the fire in Sujin’s eyes.

“Did you piss Kang Sujin off?” Taehoon was asking Seojun on the other side as the boys drank water.

“Nah, she’s just like that in general.” Seojun panted, still exhausted from the game.

A crowd of girls had gathered around their little game, drawn towards Suho and Seojun playing. They had cheered the boys on during the game and now they gravitated towards the two, hoping to get a chance to talk to them.

Suho had brushed them off in his usual rude manner. Seojun had been obliging, especially when they recognized who he was. He patiently signed autographs but couldn’t take pictures since his company didn’t allow them.

“Han Seojun, we have to get back.” Suah had come over to inform him.

“Yeah, just one minute.” The fans kept coming and coming. Seojun realized that maybe he should tell them he has to go. But as much as he wanted, he couldn’t say no to the hopeful girls who had liked the music that he made and had decided his signature was worth something.

“Han Seojun hurry up! We have to move!” Jukyung called.

“Just a second!”

Suho came over and rudely pushed through the crowd of girls. “Yah! Don’t be like that to my fans.” He tried dragging Seojun away but Seojun dodged him and the girls quickly pushed him back.

“Yah! Haven’t you girls had enough?!” Sujin’s voice boomed over the crowd, terrifying everyone. “And you girls over there!” Sujin pointed, “I saw you two return twice! You’re planning on selling those autographs, aren’t you?”

“Ya Kang Sujin—” Seojun began to protest.

“Don’t piss me off.” Sujin warned, “Our trip isn’t a place for you to have fan meetings.” She grabbed Seojun’s wrist and dragged him away before he could object.

The fangirls whispered to each other angrily, but none dared stand in Sujin’s way as she took Seojun away from them.

“Mwo-ya.”

“Who is that girl?”

“What the hell?”

“Come on, I’m hungry. We should get back to the resort.” Suho said when Seojun had joined them. He and Taehoon picked up their things and loaded them in their car.

At a distance, near a food cart, stood Kim Chorong. He watched as everyone got ready to leave. He could see Suah and Jukyung clinging to their boyfriends, his own posse goofing around and Han Seojun laughing and joking with his arm around Suho.

“Did you see how all those girls swarmed around me?” Seojun asked Jukyung. “Ya, aren’t you lucky to have a guy like me as your friend?”

“What lucky? You wasted all our time!” Jukyung scolded.

“Ah, I just can’t turn off my charms.”

Sujin scoffed, pulling a disgusted face, “Where? Where are these charms?” She put her hand over her eyes and mimicked searching.

“Right here!” Seojun replied, puffing his chest. “See how charming I am!”

“As charming as a sea louse maybe.”

“Yah!” The group laughed as Seojun pointed accusingly at Sujin.

Chorong had watched as Seojun pointed at Sujin in a huff while everyone laughed. It was the liveliest that Chorong had ever seen Han Seojun be.

“Chagi, what are you doing here all alone?” Chorong’s girlfriend came up to him.

“Geunyang.” Chorong put his arm around his girlfriend and walked towards the group.

They all went back to their resort, a beautiful location that Suho had paid for as this was the first time that everyone was going together since high school. They were all given shared rooms. Naturally, Chorong shared his with Seojun.

“Han Seojun,” Chorong began as Seojun changed out of his shirt, “I’m really happy for you.”

“Huh? What for?”

“You always used to complain about hanging out with everyone, but I don’t hear you do that anymore.” Chorong said sentimentally.

Seojun blinked. “Kim Chorong did you drink too much sea water? What kind of a weird thing is that to say?”

Chorong came up and hugged the half-naked Seojun, who balked at the gesture. “What the hell?!”

“Do you know how worried I was about you?” Chorong, with his enormous size, did not notice how Han Seojun desperately struggled to break free from his grip.

“Ya! You pervert, lemme go!”

“Ah-nee, look at you now. You said you would never go on an overnight trip with Suho and Jukyung, and yet here you are.”

Seojun stopped struggling. “What?”

It was odd that out of all people, Chorong had been the one to notice. “I’m so happy for you Han Seojun. Th—”

“Han Seojun, Jukyung’s asking if you would—whatthehell?” Sujin burst in and went still when she saw a half dressed Seojun being held by a sentimental looking Chorong.

Sujin betrayed no emotion. Just wordlessly took out her phone and promptly snapped a photo.

Han Seojun tried to push Chorong away, “No! Ya! Don’t you dare!”

“Jukyung is asking if you will sing songs for us. Quickly get dressed and come over, okay?” Sujin went out and Seojun caught a glimpse of her evil smile as she did.

“Yah! Kim Chorong!” Seojun shouted as Chorong finally let him go.

Of course, Seojun would perform. He always did when Jukyung asked. The group clapped at the end of the first song but the only reaction Seojun cared for was Jukyung. As usual, he found her engrossed with Lee Suho instead of him. Seojun couldn’t help but stare at the two.

“You sounded good.” Sujin came out of nowhere, blocking his view of Jukyung. Seojun knew, she was doing it on purpose.

“Too obvious?” He asked quietly.

“Too obvious. Suah almost noticed.” Sujin moved to block Suah’s line of vision to Seojun’s face.

“Thanks, I owe you one.” Seojun said.

“Pay me back with a song then.” Sujin rolled on her heels.

“Nope. Only Jukyung gets to request songs.”

She pfft-ed through her lips, “Mwo-ya. How stingy.” She turned on her heels.

“What song?” Seojun asked. Sujin smiled and turned back.

“You Were Beautiful by Day6.”

“Why not something by my band?” Seojun sounded almost insulted.

“I like Day6 better.” Sujin teased.

“I expected better taste from you, Kang Sujin.” Seojun adjusted the tuning of his guitar, testing the chords.

“Its my goodbye.” Sujin explained. “I’m moving on from Lee Suho.”

“Haven’t I heard that before?” Seojun said skeptically.

“Its for real this time.” Sujin said. Seojun looked up at her determined face.

“You’re serious.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yeah. It’s been long enough now. This is my way of making it official. So do a good job, okay?” Sujin walked away.

“I bet I’ll sing it better!” Seojun called after her.

“We’ll see!”

She hadn’t looked at Suho even once during his performance. But then, she hadn’t looked at anyone, just stared out the window. By the end she was tearing up. Seojun saw Suho happen to look over at Sujin.

He’s going to see her cry.

Seojun began to play his guitar loudly and messily, “Yeppeosseo! Yeppeosseo! Neon neomu yeppeosseo!” Everyone winced as he sang, or rather shouted, at the wrong note. But the abrupt bad singing had its intended effect. Suho’s attention was on Han Seojun. It took a second for Sujin to get the message. She sat up straight and wiped her face.

“Han Seojun! Stop it!” Suah yelled and Seojun stopped. “Are you in a rock band?”

Sujin sent him a grateful smile.

“It’s a totally new style of singing. You guys don’t like?” Seojun asked.

“No!” Came the resounding response.

Sujin’s was the only voice that said. “Yes!”

Seojun pointed his guitar at Sujin, head tilted back. “Better than Day6?”

“Much better!” Sujin grinned.

vi.

“YES! I WIN! I WIN!” Seojun ran around the court, pumping his fist in the air as Kang Sujin stared with a flat face and her hands on her hips. After having lost at nearly everything to Kang Sujin, Han Seojun had finally discovered something she was bad at.

“Are you really that happy?” She said, her upper lip pulled up in disdain.

“Ya! How can someone be so bad at basketball? You didn’t score a single goal!” Seojun’s eyes were wide with pure joy, his cheeks uplifted in a wide smile.

“Stop making fun of me.” Sujin fumed. She hated losing.

“I mean, I’ve never seen anyone lose so bad!” He laughed while pointing at Sujin, relishing in her first defeat. He knew he was great at basketball, but he hadn’t expected Sujin to be that bad. Sujin looked away, puffing up her cheeks.

“Zero!” He made a circle from his finger and thumb, “You got zero! I’ve seen worse players score more on accident!”

“Ah shut up!” She stomped her foot, "I was just off my game!”

“Off your game? Wae? Was my handsome face too distracting for you?” Seojun expected Sujin to come after him with a flying kick, or a punch in the shoulder or even a pithy retort. What he didn’t expect was the deep blush that spread across her cheeks. She looked around, choosing to look anywhere but him.

“Oh my God, jinjja? You got distracted by my face?” Seojun moving to look at her face better.

“Ah-nee-godun!” Sujin yelled, dodging his gaze. “Who would get distracted by those mean eyes?”

“Oh, so it was my eyes?” Seojun purred.

“As if!”

“Ooooooh! You’re even blushing!” He teased.

“I’m red from playing!” Sujin spun around and walked away, leaving Seojun laughing.

“I’m joking! I’m joking! I know it’s not that. Come back Sujin-ah!”

They changed out of their sweaty gym clothes. Seojun was wearing his typical brown coat over black pants and a black turtle-neck sweater. He was ready before Sujin so he waited for her outside.

She came out all dolled up, her hair brushed straight, fresh makeup on her face. She had a white coat over a pretty, pale pink dress. Seojun didn’t understand why she had dressed up so brightly today. She even had heels on. Sujin had denied any special reason when he had asked before so he figured this was just a girl thing that he would never understand.

They had only walked a couple of steps when Sujin stopped in her tracks. “Ah, shit. I think I forgot my phone inside.”

“Why are you so distracted today? Where is your head, Kang Sujin?” Seojun complained. Sujin ran back inside to get her phone.

“Got it!” She came back running.

They walked over to the café that they frequented to the point where the barista recognized them now.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t go to the amusement park like you wanted.” Seojun apologized.

Sujin waved a hand dismissively, “Doesn’t matter. It was just a throw away suggestion.”

“But I understand why you wanted to go there instead.”

“You do?” Sujin asked with a tinge of worry.

“Its because you didn’t want me to find out you were bad at basketball, didn’t you?” Seojun snapped his fingers.

Sujin’s face fell. She clicked her tongue in disappointment.

“I’m right, aren’t I?”

Sujin replied sarcastically, “Ah, you’re totally right Han Seojun. I am so immature that all I care about is winning against a guy who thought Einstein was an appliance.”

“That happened only once.” Seojun defended.

A silence fell between them as their order came. Wordlessly, Sujin drank her iced latte and Seojun sipped his iced Americano. They often had these moments where neither would speak. But it was a comfortable silence. Sometimes Seojun and Sujin just enjoyed each other’s company without feeling the need to talk.

“You know we never finished our five questions.” Sujin reminded.

“Oh wow. That feels like it was so long ago.” Seojun leaned his head back as he tried to remember. “We covered the When. Where… I don’t remember where I fell in love with Jukyung. I think it was the moment in school where she was making fun of my…” Seojun cleared his throat.

“One of these days I’ll find out what that incident was, Han Seojun.” Sujin claimed.

“But not today.” He smiled. “So yeah, I think it was in school. What about you?”

“I think it was at the tutoring centers. I used to go there to study. My father had hit me, and I was in a strange place at that time. Suho comforted me and I guess that was when I realized I liked him. Now you, why did you like Lim Jukyung?”

Seojun leaned back and thought for the longest time. “She was… unexpected. I only started to pester her because I thought she was dating Suho.”

“Yeah, I remember that pestering part.”

Ya, Han Seojun are you a gangster?! Whiplash. Every time Seojun remembered that moment he felt whiplash.

“Since I hated Suho at that time, I had expected her to be hateful too. I thought she was just some vain, mindless girl but… she was the complete opposite. She was kind and thoughtful. She had a good heart and that made her beautiful to me. With or without makeup.” Seojun paused, then suddenly chuckled.

“What?”

“It’s funny. Before, I was never able to pin down what I liked about her. My feelings always seemed so complicated. But now that I see it… it feels so obvious.”

Seojun didn’t notice Sujin looking down at her hands, nervously rubbing them together, “Seojun, do you ever think you coul—” She spoke just when Seojun did.

“What did you like about Suho—oh sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

“No, no.” Sujin shook her head. “I wasn’t saying anything. You were asking why I liked Lee Suho? Umm…” Sujin thought about it.

“Lee Suho, has never once liked a girl. Not before Jukyung, at least. There was a time when I was his only friend in school. And I thought… I misunderstood, his kindness as interest. I’ve always been pushed to get the number one position, you know? I always had to be number one. And when I thought that the guy that liked no one, liked me… it made me feel like I was number one, even if I ranked low on the grade sheet.” Sujin looked out the glass wall of the café, out on the street where people were walking, and it was slightly drizzling.

“When he found out that my father hit me, I thought he would see me as a crazy person, or pity me, or judge me for hating my father. But he never did. He only comforted me. He just… understood. And it was the first time that I felt that there was someone else who could understand me and understand what I was going through. That’s why I liked Lee Suho.”

Sujin looked back at Seojun. His mouth had shrunken into a small curve.

“But now he’s just annoying.” Sujin said in a lighter tone, “I mean, at a certain point you start hating people when they appear too perfect, isn’t that so?”

Seojun attempted a smile but it was weak.

“I’m happy now, Seojun-ah. I’m happy that I’m not with Suho. I think its for the best. If I think about it. Suho and I are too similar. We didn’t need more of the same. We needed someone who would help us change. Jukyung helped Suho do that. I could never have.”

“That’s a healthy way to look at it. Though I still think I’m perfect for Jukyung.” Seojun said smugly.

Sujin scoffed. “You think you’re perfect for every girl.”

“Where’s the lie?”

“Here! Yeogi! Here’s the lie.” Sujin tapped her finger on Seojun’s side of the table.

“Ah, Kang Sujin. You have no taste.” Seojun squinted his eyes at her in mock pity.

“And you have the IQ of a sloth.”

“I don’t need a high IQ. My greatest strength is my charm.”

“You keep mentioning this charm but I never see it.” Sujin put her hand over her eyes and began to search around.

They bickered in the café till the barista had to remind them, that they were being too loud. The banter continued as Seojun walked her all the way to her apartment. Throughout the way, Seojun could notice Sujin acting nervously; playing with the hem of her dress, combing her hair again and again, wiping her sweaty palms against her coat when she thought he wasn’t looking. He felt she had something to say to him but he didn’t want to ask what it was. If Kang Sujin had something to say, she said it.

Then, out of the blue, she swiveled on her heel to stand right in front of him.

“Ya, Han Seojun…”

“What?”

Sujin gulped. “Ah-nee-da. It’s nothing.” She turned her back to him.

“Whaaaat?” Seojun whined. “You’ve been fidgeting this while time so you definitely have something to say. What is it?”

“I forgot.” Sujin said, walking ahead, biting her lip.

“Mwo-ya…” Seojun let it go. She probably had more to say about Lee Suho and he wasn’t in any mood to hear it.

“Good night, Sujin-ah.” Seojun said when they reached her building.

“D-Do you wanna come up?” Sujin asked, stuttering a bit.

“Nah. I should go. I have an early day tomorrow.”

“Ah, okay.”

“Chalga.” Seojun waved goodbye. He had not walked more than ten steps when Sujin called out to him.

“Han Seojun!”

“What?”

Sujin hesitated. “B-Bye!”

Seojun chuckled. “Mwo-ya. She’s so weird.”

Sujin saw him wave and then leave. “If he turns, then I’ll tell him.” She told herself, trying to work up the courage to say what she had been meaning to the entire night.

But he never turned. Seojun just kept on walking and walking till he disappeared into the crowd.

“I like you, Han Seojun.” Sujin confessed to the wind. “I like you a lot.”

vii.

Han Seojun had to be absent for the whole month due to his idol duties. Sujin was glad for his absence. It had given her time to set her head straight about her feelings. She could still vividly remember, that last time she had ever confessed to a guy and that was back in high school. She clearly recalled how Suho had looked at her with disgust when she had said, or rather declared that he would have liked her if she had confessed first.

No. I wouldn’t have.

“Aish! What was I thinking saying all of those things?” She pulled at her hair as she rolled over in her bed. The humiliation of demanding that Suho break up with Jukyung, and ridiculously saying that she would toss Jukyung aside for him was too much. On top of that, she had tried to kiss Suho and he had pushed her away, repulsed. That in and of itself made her stomach ache with embarrassment.

She had a good heart and that made her beautiful to me. With or without makeup.

“Ah out of all people why him?! Why another guy who loves Lim Jukyung?! What the hell is wrong with me?!” Sujin groaned, rolling around in her bed over and over. Was she obsessed with men who were into Jukyung? Sujin felt frustrated with herself and wanted to throw her heart out.

She just has this warmth about her that just… draws you in.

Kind, caring, genuine, warm; none of those things describe me. Good heart? A single search on the internet would reveal just how good my heart is. Betraying my best friend and ruining all of my friendships in the process… who would say I have a good heart?

Sujin couldn’t compete with the shadow cast by Lim Jukyung. Even if Seojun did start to like her, Lim Jukyung would always be his first love. And just like always, Sujin would be second.

Sujin felt a familiar jealousy creep in; a resentment, a hate, an anger. It was history repeating itself. It was Lim Jukyung again. Why? Why did it have to be her? She and Suho had ten years worth of history between them and even that couldn’t compare to how he felt for Jukyung. Sujin and Seojun had only a year worth of friendship, a quarter of which included Seojun hating her.

It was a dark feeling. A heavy feeling. Like a weight in her chest. Sujin carried it with her whereever she went. She was supposed to meet everyone today. Seojun was suppsed to be back. She felt like she would be a coward if she didn’t go. But she felt like she would hate Jukyung more if she saw her. In the end she did go, and that weight in her chest went with her.

Jukyung was outside alone when Sujin saw her. She was finishing up a call.

Why? Why did it have to be her? Whywhywhy?

Sujin stopped in her tracks. No. She thought resolutely. She would not make the same mistake again. She would not let her feelings take over her judgement. She would not lose her friend again. As much as she loved Han Seojun, she loved her friendship with Lim Jukyung even more.

“Sujin-ah! You’re here-Oh?”

Sujin enveloped Jukyung in a massive hug, almost on the verge of tears. Jukyung hugged her back, confused.

“You know I love you, right?” Sujin said.

“Dangyunhaji! I love you too.” Jukyung hugged her tighter.

“I’ll always be a good friend to you, Jukyung-ah. I promise.” Sujin sniffed.

“Oh, are you crying?”

“No, there’s just something in my eye.” Sujin quickly wiped her face while still holding Jukyung so that she wouldn’t see her cry.

But before she could part, something pulled her collar from behind.

An irritated Suho stood, still tugging at her collar, “You’re not stealing my fiancée.”

“I bet she’d prefer me to you.”

“Okay! Okay! No fighting!” Jukyung declared a ceasefire.

“Are we fighting?” Seojun came up, putting his arm casually around Suho. “If it’s a fight, my bet’s on Sujin.”

“Wae. You think she’s better than me?” Suho asked.

“She’s scarier than you.”

“You traitor.” Suho released himself from Seojun’s side hug and went inside, grumbling. Jukyung followed after him.

“What was that about?” Seojun asked Sujin.

Sujin looked at him. His delicate, boyish features, his mean looking eyes that carried a surprising warmth. Her heartbeat wildly like a hummingbird. Sujin felt like she could spend an entire day just staring at his face. And then she felt it again, the quiet darkness that reminded her that she could never be with him. Quite suddenly, Sujin spun around and kicked Han Seojun in the back.

“Yah! What was that for?!” Seojun yelled.

“For being you.” She said and walked in, leaving Seojun bruised and confused.

viii.

You were pretty

The feeling of not wanting anything more

Moments that only you gave

Everything, everything

Everything has passed

But you were so pretty

Seojun hummed the song as he finalized the playlist for Jukyung’s wedding. Of course, he was going to perform at Jukyung’s wedding. It only made sense given his connection to Jukyung and Suho. The fact that Suho’s father was an important man at Move Entertainment also helped make things official.

A part of Han Seojun had wished that Jukyung hadn’t asked him. He was terrified of her wedding day; terrified of what his heart might do to him, terrified that he might feel compelled to run away with her in front of everyone.

Right now Seojun was calm. But it felt like it was the calm before the storm.

“Memories of me, have probably become, a thing of the past for you too, whatever I saw to you, it will all be something, in the past.”

“What’s that? New song?” His band mate asked when he overheard Seojun singing to himself.

“Hmm? No, its Day6.” The song had been stuck in his head since the day he had sung it for Sujin.

“You’re going to play a cover for your friend?”

“Yeah.” It would be his send off to Jukyung. Like Kang Sujin, Seojun was going to put an end to his chapter with Jukyung.

His bandmate put the song on their speaker. After the first verse he declared, “Yah! You can’t play a breakup song at a wedding.”

“Is it too obvious? I was hoping I could get away with it.” Seojun scratched the back of his head, stretching. He had been on his computer for hours now.

“Take it off. Choose something else.”

Seojun went back through his list of songs that he wanted to play. There was one other song that he had discovered recently by a disbanded group. He had really connected with the lyrics and it wasn’t a breakup song.

“How about this?” Seojun played it.

“Yeah, that’s perfect. Use that for the couple dance.” His bandmate said.

The anticipation of the pain kept Seojun up all night. He worried about how he might behave or what might happen. The next day he woke up grouchy and depressed.

“Woah! Why do you look like a ghost?” His bandmate had said when Seojun arrived that morning. He would be going to the wedding with his band, given that they were performing. This might have been easier if he had gone with his friends.

Don’t worry. I’m here if you need me. Sujin had texted that morning. But Seojun was done relying on Sujin like a crutch. He would deal with things on his own. He didn’t want Sujin to think that all he was good for was complaining about his broken heart.

Seojun waited for the pain to hit when they arrived at the location but it didn’t. The wedding planner helped Seojun and his band set up along with members of Seojun’s own staff. When everything was good to go, Seojun took his leave to meet Jukyung in the bridal room where everyone was taking pictures with her.

Here it comes. The pain. How would it feel? Would Seojun cry again?

“Seojun-ah! You’re here!” Jukyung said. She looked stunning in her beautiful white dress. “Hurry! Get in the picture!”

Everyone was there, already positioned for the shot. Seojun joined Sujin to the side. She was wearing a tasteful black pant suit that fit her well. She was wearing makeup which Seojun noticed looked similar to one of Jukyung’s tutorials.

“How does it feel?” He whispered to Sujin.

“Meh.” She replied. “You?”

It was strange. Seojun didn’t feel anything. “Oddly enough, I feel fine.” Surely he was in shock. The pain would hit any time soon. 

It was a while before the pictures were done. Seojun’s cheeks felt sore from all of the smiling.

“Come with me to see Suho.” Sujin held up her arm and Seojun took it. She escorted him to where Suho was receiving his guests.

“Lee Su! Congratulations!” Sujin hugged him. Seojun did the same.

“Yah! I can’t believe we’re old enough to get married.” Seojun commented. Suho laughed.

Chorong and the Seojun Squad came over too, patting a blushing Suho on the back.

Seojun couldn’t help but think that Seyeon would have loved to have seen this. Sujin sensed his sadness and bumped shoulders with him.

“Okay?”

“Uh-huh.” Seojun smiled. Oddly enough he was. The pain still hadn’t hit.

A couple of girls walked up to him and asked him whether he really was the Han Seojun they were fans of.

“Of course!” Seojun puffed his chest and signed their autographs. He couldn’t see it but he could feel Sujin’s disgusted gaze on his back. When they were gone, Seojun turned to Sujin with an arrogant grin.

“Ah, I hope more people won’t bother me for my autograph.” He said in fake modesty.

“You should be grateful to have any fans.” She scoffed at him.

“Ugh. You’re too mean, Sujin-ah.” Seojun pouted.

“Ugh. You’re too childish, Seojun-ah.” Sujin mimicked him.

“Um. Excuse me.” A shy looking girl approached Seojun.

“Oh, you want an autograph too?” Seojun had a pen ready. Sujin gave him her most scathing side eye.

“Um actually—”

“You want a picture too? Sorry but I’m not allowed to take pictures at the moment. But I’ll sign if you like.”

The girl blushed deeply. “No, um—”

“Oh I get it.” Seojun swiped his hair dramatically from his forehead. “You’re here to confess to me. Well then I should let you know—”

“They’dlikeyoubackonstage!” The girl quickly blurted. “They’d like you to join your band. The ceremony is about to begin.”

Sujin laughed uproariously, that clear gurgle of pure, high pitched happiness that Seojun often enjoyed. But not in this moment. Not when his arrogance had been so efficiently deflated.

“Sure. I’ll be right there.” He mumbled to the girl who scurried away. Sujin was still laughing. “Found that funny, did you?” Seojun said, but it was not a reprimand. He liked that she was happy.

“Yes.” Sujin wiped away tears.

“You’re going to regret making fun of me when I perform.” He said, comically pulling the lapels of his jacket before leaving.

The lights dimmed as the wedding began. The Master of Ceremonies kicked things off, guiding everyone through everything. The band only played instrumental now. Suho entered first. Jukyung entered after him, looking every bit the ethereal angel that she was.

The couple exchanged their wows and drank the traditional wine. They then bowed to each other and bowed to their guests. Even in the darkness, Seojun could pick out Sujin. From the light glittering off her cheeks he could tell she was crying. He was too. But these were happy tears. His friends were about to make a new journey in their life together and he was happy for them. Truly. That pain he had dreaded over Jukyung’s wedding never did show up. Perhaps it never would. All he could feel was excitement for his closest friends.

Seojun had only one regret, that Seyeon hadn’t been able to see this moment. Seyeon’s was the one absence he always felt. In that moment, Han Seojun swore that he saw Seyeon among the guests. He saw his friend smile to Lee Suho’s and then to him. But Seojun blinked and Seyeon was gone but Seojun would keep that image of Seyeon similing with him forever.

Once the formal ceremony was over, it was time for the real party to begin. Seojun and his band turned up the performance, raising the mood of the room. People danced and sang along with them as they played so well that Sujin realized she could no longer make fun of Seojun when he bragged about his band.

The band then slowed things down, the set finally reaching the song Seojun was excited to play. He emptied his mind of everything but that one song and how it made him feel. This was for Suho and Jukyung and he was going to give his best performance tonight.

The bride and groom took center stage and swayed as Seojun played a softer version of Haru by a lesser known band, Royal Pirates. His rich baritone filled the room as everyone listened, entranced.

“You’re not a traditional beauty, but I like you, you who gets more attractive everyday.”

Seojun had never understood why people considered her attractive. To him, beauty had never mattered. But as he had gotten to know her, he found her to be more beautiful that how others described her.

“You don’t have a feminine voice, but the more I hear it, the more I get attached.”

He could hear her now, scolding him, yelling at him, throwing witty remarks at him that caused him whiplash, which was just his heart beating really fast.

“I can’t call you often, but I always miss you.  Each minute, each second. Yeah-yeah.”

When he thought about it, they never really hung out as much as he did with Suho or his Seojun Squad. Most of the time Seojun was busy with work and so was she. But he still looked forward to the times he would meet her again.

“An entire day would pass just by looking at you. If I look at you, I can’t do anything else. Oooooooh. An entire day would pass just by thinking of you. I won’t be able to sleep at thoughts of you. But I can’t help it, an entire day would pass just because of you.”

Time did fly when they were together. Whether he liked her or hated her, he had to admit. She was never boring. Even through the mundane stuff, she always kept his attention. With her brows furrowed as she concentrated, her mouth turned like an ‘n’. He smiled whenever he thought about it.

“We have so many differences. But you fill up what I lack. No matter how much I see you, you’re always beautiful. No matter what anyone says.”

She was always ahead of him; so much smarter and stronger. Beating him at everything. Well, everything except—wait. He never played basketball with Jukyung.

Seojun missed a note. The guitar twanged awkwardly as he stopped singing. His hands were shaking but he didn’t have time to digest what had just happened. The moment only lasted a half-second; Seojun had recovered quickly and continued. No one paid attention to his little mess up, but his hands were still shaking, and his heart felt like it would burst.

He couldn’t think about it. But how couldn’t he? This song had been for her all along. He had been staring at Kang Sujin the entire time he was performing, without even knowing it.

“An entire day would pass just by looking at you. If I look at you, I can’t do anything else. Oooooooh. An entire day would pass just by thinking of you. I won’t be able to sleep at thoughts of you. But I can’t help it, an entire day would pass just because of you.”

The base guitarist for his band leaned over to him when the song was done.

“Thought you lost your footing for a bit there.”

“You noticed? Did anyone else did?”

“Nah, I think you’re safe. But are you okay? You’re shaking.”

“Nothing.” Seojun said, more to himself, “Its… its nothing.”

ix.

He never got to see her again at the wedding. The band was surrounded by fans once they finished so they had to be escorted out. Their food had been arranged separately for privacy. By the time Seojun got the chance to break free, Sujin, along with most of the guests, had left.

Which was good because he needed to settle himself before he said anything to anyone. He couldn’t make heads or tails of what had happened.

“I like Kang Sujin? Ridiculous. Totally, ridiculous. This would never happen!”

Be that as it may, his heart still acted strangely when he got a text from her asking if he was okay. She was worried about him since Jukyung and Suho were now married. He told her tersely that he was busy and couldn’t meet. Then threw his phone away when he realized he actually really wanted to meet her.

It was the first time that I felt that there was someone else who could understand me and understand what I was going through.

Seojun could still remember his irritation when Sujin had told him why she liked Lee Suho. He had resented the fact that yet another girl saw Lee Suho as perfect. How could Han Seojun ever compare to the perfectly perfect Lee Suho? He and Sujin had ten years between them and a shared tragedy with their fathers that Seojun didn’t have.

Ah-nee, can’t I be someone who understands? Can’t she see that I get her too?

“Ridiculous. Why would I want her to think I understand her? Ridiculous.”

If Han Seojun had to answer the What, When, Where and Why of his feelings, he would not be able to put it into words. His feelings were intense and complicated. Too complicated for even him to comprehend. Which is why the braincell that he shared with Suho decided that he must be mistaken and that he didn’t actually have any feelings for Sujin.

“Ah-ne-da. I must have been overwhelmed because of Jukyung. Yes, that must be it. It must be a defense mechanism. I’m only thinking about her to protect myself, because I’m still not over Jukyung.”

It made sense. She was the only other girl he was close to in his squad, and they had been hanging out together more than they used to. His heart must have just gotten confused for a moment. Yes, that was it and nothing more.

The group did not meet each other for a while. Suho and Jukyung had gone off to their honeymoon. Suah and Taehoon had their own things. Seojun only met up with Chorong and Co. but his heart was never in those meetings.

He wouldn’t meet up with her. She tried texting and calling but he always gave her an excuse.

Why did we start meeting so much in the first place? He hadn’t noticed when it had happened, but Sujin had become someone he had come to rely on and this he only noticed when he started avoiding her.

“Seojun, you’re not coming to the flower festival?” Chorong asked, shaking him out of his thoughts.

“Huh? What flower festival?”

“Ah-nee, where is your mind these days? You attend it every year! Did you forget?”

Oh right. Seojun always did like to see the flower exhibitions held once a year. He always got flowers for his mother and sister when he went. It may have seemed like a ridiculous hobby for a boy to be so interested in flowers. But Seojun unabashedly liked them and of course, Chorong and Co. were always there to go with him.

“Of course I’m going to attend. Wae?”

“Sujinnie was asking if she could tag along with us. Suah and Taehoon are not around so she has no one to go with.”

Sujinnie?! Seojun blinked rapidly. “Ya, since when are you and Kang Sujin close?”

“Waegurae? Aren’t we all friends with her now? Did something happen?”

Seojun put on a straight face, “Ah-nee!” He exclaimed in a pitch too high, “Nothing happened. I’m just surprised, as all.”

“Aigoo. Did you guys fight? Sujin did say you haven’t been replying to her texts recently.”

Seojun tried hiding his curiosity, “You’ve spoken to her?” He said, as nonchalantly as he could, which wasn’t nonchalant at all.

“Of course. We all had drinks yesterday.”

“What?! Why the hell did you guys meet her and not me?”

“Seojun, she did text you about it.” One of his friends pointed out.

“Yeah! And why are you acting so weird? Do you hate Kang Sujin again?” Chorong asked.

“Ya! Don’t hate her! We like her now!”

“Yes!” Half the group said together.

“Arasso! Arasso! Calm down.” Seojun waved at them to chill. It wasn’t as if he minded that Kang Sujin was hanging out with his friends. But he did feel a sense of betrayal that he didn’t know about it.

“So, how about it? Will you go?” Chorong asked.

The flower festival was an exhibition where all flower vendors came over to show off their best products. People looking for suppliers of flowers and the public in general could attend, buy flowers or just enjoy the various arrangements.

Seojun went with Chorong and the others. Sujin was there waiting for them.

“Ya Han Seojun! You’re alive!” She lit up when she saw him, punching him in the chest with a brutal force only she had.

“Yah! How could you hurt an idol like that?” Seojun rubbed his chest in pain.

“Oh, sorry. Did I hurt you?”

“Not at all!” Seojun said, “I’m a man. I don’t get hurt.”

“Pfft. Sure.” Sujin grinned.

They went through the various stalls that showcased the various beautiful flowers. The group seemed to have broken off. Chorong was led away by his girlfriend to take some pictures. The boys all banded around a strange, evil looking plant like school children. Seojun and Sujin seemed to have taken a track of their own.

“You don’t want to take pictures?” Seojun asked, pointing at Chorong and his girlfriend who were stopping at every stall.

“I don’t care for that sort of thing. Wae? You want me to take yours?”

“No. We should take on together.”

Seojun took out his phone and pulled Sujin closer, taking a selfie.

“Ya, you can’t even see the flowers.” Sujin complained.

“Yes, you can.” Seojun put a hand to his cheek. “Right here. I’m the flower.”

Sujin’s lip curled in disdain. “Ah, right.” She said dryly. Seojun laughed and she couldn’t help but smile too.

As a regular attendee, Seojun knew most of the repeat vendors there. He took Sujin around, introducing her to the people who knew him and showing her the various flowers he liked. Sujin listened to him go on at length about where the flowers came from and what they meant.

“You know the language of flowers?” Sujin asked, thinking back to the white tulips and the yellow roses he had gotten her way back when.

“Dangyunhaji! Every man should know flowers. How else will you impress the ladies?”

Sujin chuckled. “You know if being an idol doesn’t pan out, you can always be a florist.”

“I’m too pretty to be a florist. The flowers would all wither in shame.”

Sujin patted his head, sarcastically remarking, “Aigoo, our Seojun has suffered so much for being so good looking. It must have been so difficult, living like this.”

It felt nice being with Sujin again. Seojun felt oddly energetic; like he could run a mile and not break a sweat. He babbled about this and that and wondered if Sujin was getting bored. But she never was, she listened and nodded and responded when need be. Time flew by and before he knew it, they had finished going through the festival.

He pulled at the sleeve of her coat, “There’s something else you should see.”

In the back corner, hidden away from the main area were the small level vendors who could only afford the cheaper stalls. It was a street that led away from the festival. Only a couple of people were around.

“These people don’t earn that much because they’re always placed at the back. But they have the best flowers.”

Seojun introduced her to the people that were running the stall, all of whom he knew by name. Some of them gave Sujin flowers for free. She gratefully took them.

The day was almost ending, the slow sunset had begun. A lot petals had been shed. The street with these vendors was covered in these petals, making it look like a path made entirely of flowers.

“This is really beautiful, Seojun-ah.” Sujin said, admiring the street.

“Yeah.” Seojun said, looking at her.

One of the stalls was filled entirely with tulips. Bright yellow owns, pretty pink ones, eccentric multi-colored ones. Seojun pulled out a purple one and gave it to Sujin.

“Here you go, Princess.” Purple tulips represented regality. Sujin smiled.

“Aaand…” Seojun’s picked out a red one. “Here.” He said. Then quickly-— a little too quickly— he added. “Ah-Because it matches your coat.” He pointed at Sujin’s red coat.

Sujin looked at the flower, then back at him. But said nothing.

They strolled over to a bridge that overlooked the entire festival. The descending sun had set everything in a warm glow. The air smelled sweet with all of the flowers. Petals flew in the air.

“Here.” Sujin handed the tulips back to Seojun.

“Why? They’re for you.”

Sujin smiled. “Phabo. You should be giving them to the girl you like. And tell her what they mean when you give them.”

Seojun sighed wistfully, “The girl I like doesn’t know the language of flowers.”

Sujin hit him lightly with the tulips. “I wasn’t talking about Lim Jukyung. Go and like someone else, and bring her here, and give them these.”

“I wasn’t talking about Lim Jukyung either.”

“Mwo-ya. You have someone you like?”

Seojun’s bit his lip. “Yeah. But I’m going to give up.”

“Waaaee? You only just got over Lim Jukyung!”

“Because this girl likes someone else too.”

“Omo, chincha?” Sujin laughed. “Again? Ya, Han Seojun, can’t you choose a better girl to like?”

Seojun gave a sad chuckle. “I know, right?”

“Who is she? Do I know her?”

“Yeah.”

“Who is it? Tell me!”

“Nope. Secret.”

“Ugh, how stingy. At least give me a hint. What does she look like?”

Seojun looked at Sujin, “She’s beautiful. Very beautiful.”

“Ayyy, that’s every girl out there.”

“Well, that’s all the hint I’m giving.”

Sujin punched his arm but relented. It was perhaps better to not know who Seojun liked. Sujin would have been filled with jealousy again and she didn’t want that.

It was curious however, that Seojun found someone he liked, and she didn’t even know. It was curiouser that this new girl had someone she liked too. Just like Sujin, Han Seojun had—

Sujin looked at the tulips in her hand. They stood out among the other flowers the various vendors had given her. Sujin looked at Seojun, who was busy admiring the sunset.

It was strange, but in that moment, she remembered something her teacher had once said.

Some of you don’t know what it is you really want. And some of you do know but you’re hesitant. However, opportunities come without warning and you must be prepared to take advantage of it.

“Han Seojun.”

“Hmm?”

Sujin pointed the flowers at him, tilting her head slightly. Much like he had done a long time ago when he had asked her Do you think I’m handsome?

“Do you like me?”

And just like she had, Seojun answered immediately, with no remorse or regret. “Yes.”

Like the cool girl she was, Sujin didn’t overreact or exclaim in surprise. She only casually said, “I like you too. So, we should date.”

A beat of a pause. One, two three.

“What? What?! WHAT?! You like me? You like me?! Me?! As in, Han Seojun?”

“Yes you, you idiot. Manhi Joahae.”

“What? Ican’tbelievethis. How? Why? Wait, you asked me if I liked you. Did you already know?” Seojun appeared as if his brain had malfunctioned.

Sujin grinned. “You phabo, even if I didn’t know flower language, I could still tell by the red tulip. Ah-nee, red is the universal color for romance. Didn’t you know?”

Seojun’s face was a mixture of wonder, shock and pure happiness. His eyes were wide, cheeks red and pulled up, mouth hanging open in a slow smile. He had no words to speak. He felt like he would explode like a firecracker and light up the sky in sparks.

“You like me? You really like me?”

Sujin closed the distance between them, pulling at the lapel of his coat. She gave him only a chaste peck on his lips before moving back, blushing. “It’s official now. So, no backing out, okay?”

His mind, that was already haywire, went blank.

He pulled Sujin by the waist, pressing her entire form to him and cupped her face with his other hand. The kiss he gave her was intense and she gasped before giving in to him. Sujin felt she could stay like this forever. The kiss only ended because their mouths kept pulling back in an uncontrollable grin.

“You like me?” Seojun asked.

“Yes.”

He kissed her again but they couldn’t stop smiling. Both of them were shaking.

“You like me?” He asked again.

“Yes.” She replied again, chuckling.

And they kissed again.

“You like me?”

“Yes!” She laughed.

And they kissed again. And he asked again, she replied again, and they kissed again and again and again.

 EPILOGUE

When Seojun and Sujin told Jukyung and the others that they were dating, it had been the first of April. So naturally everyone assumed they were joking. Seojun and Sujin hadn’t realized this and were surprised at the luke warm response that everyone gave to their announcement.

“Yes. We believe you.” Suah had said and Sujin missed her sarcastic tone.

when Seojun gushed over Sujin, the group all just looked at each other thinking, Wow, they’re really dedicated to this prank.

And even when they left together, the group all gathered and said;

“You believe them?”

“Why pull a prank that’s so obvious?”

“Exactly! Han Seojun and Kang Sujin? No way.”

Only Suho had been the one to keep his silence and not say anything.

But when they all met up again and Seojun and Sujin acted like a couple again, everyone gasped in shock.

“What?!”

“You guys are actually dating?!”

“How?! How did this happen?”

Only Suho had been the one who wasn’t surprised. “Congratulations. I’m happy for the two of you.” He had said warmly.

“Sujin-ah, what about our affair?” Jukyung said despondently, making a crying face.

“I’ll let you know when Seojunnie goes on tour.” Sujin assured her quietly.

“YAH!” Both Suho and Seojun exclaimed in protest, pulling their girlfriends away from each other.

“Lim Jukyung, you keep your hands off my girlfriend.” Seojun warned.

“I will. But there’s no guarantee she’ll keep her hands off me.”

Chorong and Co. had a similar reaction, they all exploded into shock and happiness at the news. Only Chorong seemed unsurprised.

“So you finally figured out your feelings?” Chorong asked Seojun.

“You knew?”

“Friends know.”

To Sujin, Chorong said, “Sujin-ah, I respect you a lot. But if you hurt—”

“Arasso, arasso. I won’t hurt your precious Han Seojun.”

“I meant don’t hurt me if he ever pisses you off. You scare the shit out of me.”

When enough time had passed and they knew they had to tell their parents, they went to Seojun’s mother first. The woman had been pleasantly surprised by this news and declared Sujin a part of the family immediately. She had met Sujin before and had taken a liking to her immediately but now that she and Seojun were dating, the woman gushed and cried.

“Ah, I have another daughter now.” She said, kissing Sujin on the forehead.

The tricky part was Sujin’s mother, who was still a little pissed over the scandal.

“What will people say if you announce this online?!” The woman had argued.

“But mom,” Sujin made a flower pot with her hands around Seojun’s face, “look at how handsome he is.” And that was enough to entice Mrs. Kang.

Receiving so much happiness and love from everyone was an unfamiliar experience for Sujin. So much so that it terrified her. She felt like she was in a dream that would shatter any minute and she would suddenly wake up back in her old bed with her father banging on the door, screaming at her that she was worthless.

It was this image that jerked Sujin awake in the middle of the night. She sat up straight, her heart was pounding, her hands felt sweaty and clammy. Her father’s shouting was still ringing in her ears.

Seojun stirred on the other side of the bed, “Bad dream?” His rich baritone was husky from sleep but it cut through the darkness of the room and Sujin didn’t feel so scared anymore.

“Um-hmm.”

“Come here.” Seojun patted her side of the bed. She fell back into his arms, nuzzling her nose in his neck.

He sang to her softly, his deep voice soothing her. “Love, love the stars. Love, love the moon. Nothing has really changed. It’s still the same air. With the same bed looking at the same ceiling.”

Sujin’s hands stopped feeling clammy and dirty and soon enough, she drifted off to sleep, dreaming of flowers and sunsets.

 THE END.

A/N: Dear reader, if you stuck till the end and liked what I wrote, then thank you. Saranghae <3

Please have my badly made memes with my sarangs

#true beauty #true beauty fanfiction #true beauty kdrama #true beauty soojin #kang sujin #kang soojin #Kang Sujin Fanfiction #kang soojin and han seojun #han seojun #han seo jun #han seojun fanfiction #seojun x sujin #seojun x soojin #kdrama #fanfiction #hwang in yeop #park yoona #junjin

[babbushka]

Hi Mrs. Z! Can I please request what does Lawyer Kylo do during the week when he thinks of us? I’m sure he’s a very busy man, and surely can’t see us on the daily. But how does he manage his time to get his Ms. Defense Laywer fix? Thanks Love!

(~800, fluff) 

The moment your phone buzzes, you know that you’re in for it. This is your personal phone, your own private cell number, that your family and friends know not to message during your work hours unless it’s an absolute emergency – and even then, they know to call the office.

Which means, that when you unlock your phone, there can be no other person annoying enough to text you right now, other than Kylo. And sure enough, you blink at the screen, trying to figure out how he must be this bored to send you,

The grinch should not have changed his mind at the end of the movie.  

You debate replying at all. On the one hand, if you answer him, he’s going to go off on some tangent. But on the other, if you ignore him, he’s going to continue to blow your phone up.

I’m busy. 

There, that should do it, you think.

You put your phone face down and try to resume your work. For a while, all is calm, and you think that he’s actually taken the hint. That is, until, three texts come in one right after the other, and you know that it’s probably best that you give yourself a break from staring at your email.

If we look at the behavioral pattern of the Grinch, it doesn’t make sense for him to after fifty years suddenly enjoy Christmas.

Particularly after such a traumatic incident as the one he went through to make him hate Christmas in the first place, childhood trauma is a strong motivator, and should not be simply ignored.

Furthermore, I don’t think he would have changed his mind, if he had not been hounded by that child repeatedly, who if you may recall, trespassed onto his property no less than three times in order to harass him into accepting the role of Holiday Cheermeister against his will.

There are so many things you could reply back, most of them along the same vein of calling Kylo a grinch himself, but after typing and deleting and typing and deleting, you eventually settle on, Are you suggesting Cindy Lou Who coerced the Grinch into being a better person?

He was acting under duress. And I wouldn’t call it so much as being a better person, as I would ‘altering his personality for the comfort of others.’ Kylo’s response comes in so quickly that you can’t help but shake your head.

You’re overlooking one major point though, the Grinch changed his mind because of the love of his life, Martha May Whovier. He realized that she had feelings for him all the while, and it was her love, combined with the love that the Whos have for one another, that melted his frozen heart.

That message stumps him for a couple minutes, and you watch the three little bubbles appear and disappear. You’re afraid he’s going to send an entire essay, which is why it’s all the sillier for him to send you a simple sentence:

I still think the Grinch should have killed and eaten Mayor May Who.

You laugh out loud to yourself in your office at that, grateful that no one is around and that everyone else in the office is on lunch so that they can’t hear you chuckle and reply, That would be a very different movie.

They never tell you what’s in the roast beast. Kylo is too quick for his own good, you can’t help but think.

He must miss you, to be bothering you like this. He’s bored out of his mind certainly, but also probably, likely to be missing you. You haven’t seen him in a couple days, nearing on a week actually, not since Hanukkah.

I don’t have the time for this, you know. You try to get yourself back on track, because you know if you think about him any more, you might start thinking about how you miss him too.

Why don’t you meet me for dinner and we can talk about it then? The sneaky bastard asks, and you’re already clearing your calendar.

We can have dinner, but I don’t want to talk about the Grinch. Now go away.

The phone stops buzzing then, finally, and you breathe a sigh of relief, finally able to get back to your work.

And even though you’re the one who told him to scram, you can’t help the small feeling in your chest grow, a little voice wishing he would continue this conversation for the entire rest of the day.

#kylo ren x reader #kylo ren/reader #kylo ren x you #kylo ren/you #kylo ren imagine #lawyer au #lawyer!kylo ren

[aslanjadecarlyle]

out of my mind (asheiji)

You may also find this oneshot on my AO3 account: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33591019

Rating: G

Warning(s): Elements of PTSD, anxiety

-

In order to learn Japanese, Ash subjects himself to harassment from a stalker green owl.

-

They arrived in Japan a week ago, and Eiji was only now going grocery shopping. He was a terrible host.

He’d been hesitant about leaving Ash alone, but Ash insisted. It was in the middle of the day, not nighttime when he was prone to frightening dreams. And, he’d been given the numbers of Eiji’s parents. They didn’t know English as well as their son, but they knew enough to check in on Ash if he needed them.

That was, if he texted them in the first place. If Ash knew Eiji had put them on “babysitting duty,” as Ash called it, he’d become very upset. Since arriving in Japan, he was insistent that he was all right, but still, Eiji worried. It may be undiagnosed, but it was quite clear that Ash had PTSD. Eiji was still working to convince him on getting a proper diagnosis and resulting treatment.

It wasn’t easy. Eiji had to remind himself to take akachan no suteppu with Ash. Baby steps.

But, the fact that they were in Japan together was already a miracle in and of itself.

And, Eiji was pretty proud of himself. He’d hurried a bit while shopping, but, as a result, had been gone only about an hour. It is just past two p.m. when he slides his key into the lock and opens the door.

“Honey, I home!” he sings out.

Silence.

Eiji frowns. Nerves erupt in his stomach, but he shakes his head. He can’t worry yet. Ash probably has headphones in. He’s probably listening to music or reading a book or watching a show or—

Deep breaths.

Their front door opens into a tiny entryway, which spills into the kitchen. Eiji stops to set the groceries on the counter before following the flow of the kitchen into the living room.

Relief floods his chest and he’s able to breathe easily again as he locates Ash. He’s lying upside down on the couch, head to the floor and feet, clad in his favorite red Converse, kicked up on the couch’s back. His blond hair spills onto the floor and he’s glaring at his phone, held close to his face. He’s wearing his glasses.

“Ash-u!” Eiji scolds, laughter in his voice now that he’s relaxed, “No shoes on furniture!”

Ash startles, phone falling in his face before he tumbles, falling to the side and off the couch entirely. Landing on the floor, he’s not looking directly at Eiji, but, rather, glares in Eiji’s general direction.

“Ow,” he complains.

Eiji’s delighted laughter fills the room before he can think to cover his mouth with his hand and attempt to stifle his giggles. Ash continues to glare at him as he lies on the floor, not bothering to get up.

“You’re so mean,” he huffs.

Eiji smiles as his hand falls away from his mouth. “Sorry. Am I interrupting something?” He glances at Ash’s phone, which lies on the floor. The screen has gone black.

Ash takes a moment to readjust, getting up from the floor and sitting on the couch normally. As he grabs his phone and turns it on again, he declares, “I’m being stalked.”

Eiji pauses. His smile fades as uncertainty fills him. “What?”

“Yeah. By a murderous green owl.”

It takes a moment to click.

“Oh!” Eiji’s smile returns. “That app you download.”

Upon their arrival in Japan, Ash had decided that he was going to teach himself Japanese. He’d downloaded a language-learning app a few days ago. That way, he could learn even when Eiji was too busy to teach him himself.

And, with an IQ of over 200, he was quite the quick learner.

“Yeah,” Ash huffs again, “I’m only on a four day streak, but this owl is already clingier than Max and Jessica.”

Eiji smiles. “Make much progress?”

“I’m almost done with Hiragana. Then it’s onto Katakana.”

Eiji’s eyes widen slightly. Rather than point out the fact that the app is lacking Japan’s third writing system, he asks, “Almost done? You only finish one or two lessons yesterday. Couple others day before that.”

“Yeah,” Ash mumbles. Glancing at his phone again, he’s quite obvious about the fact that he will no longer look at Eiji, “Almost done.”

The first day Ash downloaded the app, he’d focused on nothing but his lessons in the midst of a terrible anxiety attack. Eiji hadn’t been able to break him out of it for hours.

“Ash-u…”

The boy clenches his jaw, still avoiding Eiji’s worried gaze.

Dark eyes filling with concern, Eiji comes closer and sits by Ash on the couch. Ash stiffens, but doesn’t scoot away, and he continues to stare down, unblinking, at his phone.

Eiji’s movements are slow and careful as he covers the phone’s screen with his hand. Ash’s head snaps up, but he doesn’t say anything.

“It happen when I leave?”

Ash stares at him. He doesn’t move.

“I sorry. I should not have left you alone. It was baka. Orokashī.”

Ash side-eyes him. “What?”

His voice tremors and Eiji’s heart clenches in his chest.

“Foolish. Stupid.”

“You’re not stupid, Eiji.”

“No,” Eiji agrees, “but I did stupid thing.”

Ash stares down into his lap. His phone is still in his palm, but now the screen is off and Eiji is still covering it with his hand.

“May I take phone?” Eiji asks gently.

Ash hesitates, fingers instinctively curling around the phone like a lifeline.

But, he forces himself to breathe, and, slowly, his grip loosens. His hand trembles a little as he drops it to his knee, but he nods.

Eiji smiles. He gets up for a moment, sets Ash’s phone out of sight atop a bookshelf. When he comes back, he sits beside Ash again and takes Ash’s hands in his.

“Okay?”

Swallowing a lump in his throat, Ash nods.

Smiling, Eiji rubs the pad of his thumb over Ash’s palm. He knows that Ash hates his hands, hates what they’ve done, but right now they are warm. Soft despite slight calluses. He squeezes them gently, looking up at Ash as he does so.

Ash’s eyes are filling with tears.

“Hey,” Eiji speaks, voice quiet, “It okay. You okay. Wherever your mind take you, you here with me. You safe.”

“Can I lay down?” Ash whispers.

“Of course.”

Eiji had thought that Ash meant to get up and go lay down in his bedroom. But, instead, Ash lowers himself there on the couch, curling his long legs onto the sofa and lying with his head in Eiji’s lap. His hand rests lightly on Eiji’s thigh and he closes his eyes.

“Sleepy?” Eiji asks.

“A little,” Ash mumbles. He doesn’t sleep very well at night.

Eiji pauses for a moment, considering. Careful not to move too quickly, he runs his fingers through Ash’s blond hair.

“This okay?” he asks, voice hardly above a whisper.

A long sigh escapes Ash’s parted lips. “Yes. Perfect, Eiji.”

“If you fall sleep,” Eiji says, “try not to dream of stalker green owl.”

Despite the exhaustion that has started to settle in his bones, Ash’s eyes open as he snickers. “No promises. He’ll be sending me notifications within the hour.”

“You can delete app?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Spite.”

Eiji pauses for a moment. Then, he throws his head back and laughs.

His laugh, Ash thinks, is absolutely beautiful.

As Eiji settles, his fingers resume running through Ash’s hair. The anxiety still lingers in the pit of Ash’s stomach, but he’s able to focus more on Eiji’s touch, his fingers. After a few minutes, the heaviness in his eyelids wins out and his eyes flutter closed.

“Good night, Eiji,” Ash mumbles.

He can hear the smile in Eiji’s voice as he responds, “Oyasumi.”

#asheiji #asheiji oneshot #asheiji fanfiction #asheiji fanfic #banana fish #banana fish ash #banana fish eiji #ash lynx #eiji okumura #okumura eiji #ptsd #anxiety #archive of our own #ao3 fanfiction #ao3 fic #ao3 fanfic #ao3 #fanfiction #fanfic #Duolingo

[didanawisgi]

SUPER VIRUS China lab created coronavirus ‘10,000-times stronger than usual’ as fears rage over Wuhan ‘leak’, scientists warn

A WUHAN lab-created coronavirus strains that were up to 10,000-times stronger than usual — amid fears a virus could have escaped when a technician was bitten by a mouse.

Bombshell documents have emerged which reveal how Chinese research funded by a US government agency involved souping up the virus and then transmitting it to "humanised mice".

The documents — released by US Right to Know — show grant applications between 2017 and 2019 by US nonprofit group EcoHealth Alliance which were lodged with White House advisor Dr Fauci Anthony's National Institute of Health (NIH).

The research was carried out in the Wuhan Institute of Virology in China and studied coronavirus found in bats that had been captured in a former copper mine in Mojiang, some 1,118 miles away from the lab.

Richard Ebright, biosafety expert, and professor of chemistry and chemical biology at Rutgers University told The Sun Online the papers show this involved dangerous experiments that may lead to one of the bugs escaping the lab.

The research appears to involve making bat coronaviruses more virulent — potentially having viral loads up to 10,000 times higher than normal.

Mice, which had been "humanised" by splicing them with human tissue, were then infected with the altered virus.

But worryingly, some of the coronaviruses were manipulated to make them extremely hazardous, Dr Ebright warned.

He said: "The documents further reveal that at least three of the laboratory-generated SARS-related coronaviruses exhibited much higher — 10 times to 10,000 times higher — viral load in humanised mice than the starting bat virus from which they were constructed."

The viral load means the souped-up bug may cause a more dangerous infection because of the high amount of virus particles entering the victim's blood or plasma.

Professor Wang Yanyi, the director, has previously denied all allegations of a leak from the Wuhan lab and claimed her facility is "100 per cent" safe - and China has aggressively pushed back against Western allegations.

It comes as it emerged twenty-six of the twenty-seven scientists who publicly trashed the Covid lab leak theory reportedly have links to Wuhan researchers.

The group published a letter in March last year denouncing "conspiracy theories" that the virus was made or leaked from the centre in the Chinese city.

Echoing the views of many virus scientists across the world, Professor Nikolai Petrovsky, director of endocrinology at Flinders University in Australia, told The Sun Online the gain-of-function risked a leak via a lab worker.

He said: "The use of humanised mice to study these genetically modified SARSr-CoV viruses would significantly increase the risk of the virus escaping, either through the escape of an infected mouse, risk of an infected mouse transmitting the virus to a human handler by biting or aerosols or improper disposal of an infected mouse."

Dr Roland Wiesendanger, from the University of Hamburg, told The Sun Online: "Clearly, a lab leak is the by far most likely explanation for the current pandemic which is further supported by these new documents.

"Any virologist who claims the opposite has now the burden to prove a natural origin.

"In particular, the Chinese researchers at the Wuhan Institute of Virology have to provide access to their coronavirus database which they deleted in September 2019 as well as to their lab notebooks and safety procedure protocols."

US Federal funding for gain-of-function experiments that increase the transmissibility or lethality of viruses was temporarily suspended in 2014 because it risked leaking super viruses into the human population and sparking a pandemic.

Funding resumed in late 2017, but only for projects that went through the new Potential Pandemic Pathogens Control and Oversight framework.

That framework includes the Department of Health and Human Services review board evaluating whether grants for the dangerous research were needed and were safely done.

But the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases told the Daily Caller News Foundation that it opted not to flag the EcoHealth Alliance grant because the project "did not involve the enhancement of the pathogenicity or transmissibility of the viruses studied".

Dr Fauci said during a congressional hearing in May that the NIH and NIAID "categorically has not funded gain-of-function research to be conducted at the Wuhan Institute of Virology".

This led Republican Sen. Rand Paul to send a criminal referral to the Department of Justice in July to probe whether Fauci lied.

'FAUCI LIED — JAIL HIM'

He told Fox News' Sean Hannity that Fauci should be jailed for lying to Congress.

"It's a felony punishable by five years in jail," Paul said.

One of the grant documents was initiated by British zoologist Peter Daszak, president of the US-based EcoHealth Alliance, who was part of the WHO mission to investigate the origins of Covid-19.

The 55-year-old has a close relationship with the lab's chief Dr Shi Zhengli - dubbed "Batwoman" — and was last year jovially tweeting about singing karaoke with her and "partying in a bat cave" amid the pandemic.

He has strongly condemned any suggestion that the virus came from the institute.

And had also previously denied that live bats were being studied at WIV — only for footage to emerge appearing to show the animals being handled at the lab.

Dr Daszak has now "recused himself" from the inquiry by leading medical journal the Lancet after he failed to declare ties to the Wuhan Laboratory of Virology, which was conducting research into coronaviruses in bats.

#dr anthony fauci #coronavirus #china #wuhan virology lab #Wuhan Institute of Virology #sars-cov-2 #covid-19 #Biological WMD

[delaneytveit]

Satellites Part 12

Alright, lets try this again since last time I tried to post this tumblr waned to delete it instantly. the absolute disrespect, the hom0phobia, the dishonor. 

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(Part 11) (Satellites Master Post ) (Part 13)

Pidge had been working day and night on those damn Galra codes. She had been tipped off from a few stray files that clearly had been incredibly classified. Of course seeing that something was classified was the equivalent of a challenge, so the Green Paladin took it upon herself to get as much information as she could.

She had been holed up in her room for days. Eyes drooping in sleep deprivation and stomach growling. But she was almost there, she could just feel it. Just a few more codes.

That was her last thought before she finally passed out on her laptop, her exhaustion getting the better of her.

She wasn’t sure how long she had slept, but when she finally woke up, it was with a familiar blanket around her, in her bed, with her glasses placed gently on the shelf above her. She scanned for her laptop and found it across the room, still open on her desk.

Quickly, she sprung from her bed and raced over to the computer, immediately resuming her work. It only took a few more lines of code before she was in.

It worked. FIles upon files filled her screen, all titled the same.

Project Leo.

Picking up her computer she hurried out of her room in search of the others. She didn’t have to search long, as apparently she had just slept through dinner, and everyone was still hanging about in the dining hall.

“Guys! Guys, you aren’t going to believe this!”

Her exclamation halted all conversations as everyone turned their attentions to her.

“Calm down, Pidge. There’s no need to yell.” Shiro scolded, though Pidge was quick to roll her eyes at it. Of course there was a reason to yell! She had just found something amazing, for heaven’s sake!

“You know those classified files that were supposed to be completely impossible to get through?” she asked.

“You mean the ones that Kolivan sent over?” now that peaked Keith’s interest.

“Pidge, how did you get these? They were sent strictly to Allura.”another scolding from Shiro, earning another eye roll. Honestly, did they know nothing about her? The second you tell Pidge not to do something, she’s bound to do it 3 times over.

“How I got them, is not of your concern. This however is.” She handed the laptop to Shiro expectantly.  “Apparently, the files were of this new thing that the Galra have been working on. Something to enhance their soldiers. Some experimental serum by the looks of it. The program is called-”

“Project Leo.” Lance’s voice was barely above a whisper, but somehow it was heard by everyone.

The group stared at him in shock, Pidge the most out of everyone.

“How did you know that?” Hunk hated the shakiness of his voice, but he couldn’t help it.

The room fell completely silent. All excitement Pidge could have had had dissipated quickly at the sound of Lance’s voice. The pained sound made her wish she had never tried to open the files to begin with.

“Because I was one of the experiments.”

+

Lance was pissed. As he stomped his way towards the bridge, towards where he knew Allura would be, his anger only seemed to grow.

Who the hell did she think she was?

What right did she have to do any of this?

The doors opened swiftly, the sound clearly startling Shiro and Allura out of whatever conversation they were having.

Another day, Lance would have apologized profusely for interrupting. But today? He could care less about being polite.

“What the actual FUCK ALLURA?”

“Shiro, could you give us a second?” the Altean turned to Shiro who simply nodded before exiting the room in a hurry.

Once the doors had closed Allura turned to a seething Lance.

“Yes, Lance?”

“How dare you! I had to find out about this mission through Keith. Keith! You know out of everyone here, the one person who should be on that mission is me!”

“I’m sorry Lance, but you’re not going.” Allura sighed, “I understand that you are angry-”

“Angry?” Lance exclaimed, his voice dripping in contempt. “Oh no, Allura, I’m not angry. I’m fucking pissed the fuck off! WHat makes you think that you can just bench me on a mission like this?”

Allura knew where he was coming from, could really understand why he wanted to go. These people had held him captive after all, changed him into what he was today. But it was that exact reason why she couldn’t in good conscience allow him to go.

“Lance, you are frustrated, believe me, I know. But at the moment I do not think it is wise given your current mental state.”

“It was fine enough for you to try to force me to do the mindmeld last week, Princess.” his last word came out as a sneer and it took all Allura had not to give into the blatant disrespect the Blue Paladin was showing to her.

“The mindmeld exercise was meant to help fix that.” she stated as calmly as possible. “That was why I suggested it. However, your reluctance hindered such.”

“So you’re punishing me for not wanting to relive my traumatic experiences?” Lance could not believe what he was hearing. So much for a fucking support system. “Tell me, Allura, how does being forced to endure torture again fix my mental state? I’d love to hear it!” Lance held nothing back in his voice. All anger and sarcasm that Allura could do nothing to fix. She was only trying to help.

“I am not punishing you, Lance. But with your recent panic attacks and nightmares, it is unwise to send you out like this.”

There was a beat of silence that gave Allura false hope that she had finally gotten through to him. She should have known better and cursed herself for her optimism.

“How do you know about that?” it was a genuine question despite the words coming out in a hiss. Only then did Allura realize that she had said too much.

It was no secret that Lance had nightmares. They were quite frequent and loud the first few weeks of his return. However, they had seemed to calm down after a bit. It was believed that they now came less frequently, that was until Keith had come to Allura with his concern about his fellow paladin.

Apparently, rather than the widely believed situation in which Lance “was handling it”, his nightmares and anxiety had only increased drastically. It was only due to Keith taking it upon himself to be able to calm Lance down that the team was given a false sense of security.

The only people who really knew about that were Keith and Allura. Not even Coran had been informed.

“W-well...I-I-”

“Keith told you, didn’t he?” a new rise of anger fille the Blue Paladin as the realization set in. “Didn’t he?” he asked again, louder that before when Allura had failed to answer the first time.

“H-he. He’s worried about you. Lance we all are.”

“Oh don’t give me that bullshit. If you were worried, you would have asked me about it. Not talk about me behind my back and exclude me from a mission that is literally about me!”

She didn’t know what to say.

What could she say?

Lance couldn’t go on the mission. He was too much of a liability at this point, but it seemed that anything that she could say to make him understand would only fall on deaf ears.

“I’m sorry, Lance. But you cannot go on the mission. We will keep you updated but it is vital that you remain here. As of now, you will be under strict observation by Coran, and when he deems you mentally fit, you may return to missions. My choice is final, and Shiro agrees.”

She took a few tentative steps forward, softening her eyes as she neared the Blue Paladin.

“I’m trying to do what is right for the team and for you. I am trying to keep you safe. I hope that you can understand.”

“Oh, I understand perfectly, Princess.” And with that, he stormed out of the bridge.

Allura waited until the doors finally closed before collapsing on her knees. WIth her head in her hands, she took a few shaky breaths to calm herself.

She was only trying to do what was right. So why did it feel like everything she did was only pushing Lance farther away from them?

#vld lance #lance serrano #lance mcclain #langst #i love two blue bois and lance is one of them #lance #ooohhhh #lance is pissed #he's been getting pretty pissed lately #wonder what happened there #oh yeah #this boy is literally traumatized #sorry babe #it builds character I swear

[ammaliatrici]

Insatiable

Pairing: Samuel Drake/Female Reader

Summary: Sam and Reader take care of each other in various ways after Sam finally returns home from an overseas job. NSFW; This is essentially porn with (very little) plot.

Note: I accidentally deleted my old blog a few months ago, and as a result, I also deleted all of my fics. I’ve finally decided to start reposting them, starting with a Sam-inspired piece, because of course. I hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 2,971

Samuel Drake is nothing if not insatiable, and now that you’re officially in the picture, this is especially true upon his return from work-related trips. After all, late-night, long-distance phone calls and skype sessions are great and all (and oftentimes, the absolute highlight of Sam’s entire day, spotty internet connection be damned), but nothing beats this. Nothing beats coming home.

Nothing beats coming home to you.

His large, calloused hands are on you before his luggage even meets the hardwood floor of your apartment’s entryway. A part of you wants to playfully chastise him for being so eager; you want to make him wait, if only for just another moment longer, but that would be just a tad hypocritical, wouldn’t it? To say nothing of cruel.

“Christ, you’re a sight for sore eyes.” He tries to play off the confession in a playful tone, but his words are warm and heavy and, shit, he’s never looked at anyone else like how he’s looking at you right now. One of his hands gently cups the side of your face as he greets you with a long, lingering kiss that quickly multiples and turns into two, three, four...

A sudden, warm feeling of elation boils over and you can’t help but grin and laugh in the middle of his next kiss, but Sam doesn’t seem to mind. If anything, he’s encouraged by your warm welcome and sees this is a prime opportunity to kiss the side of your face.

“Miss me?” He murmurs against the soft skin of your jaw before kissing you there, too, his tone playful and light and completely masquerading the fact that he has done nothing but miss and crave you for the last three weeks straight.

You laugh softly, your eyelids suddenly feeling very heavy. “Mm, maybe a little…” You can’t help but tease as his mouth travels lower and begins to pepper the soft, exposed skin of your neck and collarbone with scattered, heated affection.

You can easily lose yourself in this moment, but there is something that’s been bothering you ever since Sam walked through the front door. “Sam...Sam, look at me,” you say softly, placing your hands gently on either side of his face, forcing his eyes to meet your own.

His smile is tired and his left eye is swollen. Again. You can’t help but frown at the sight of multiple fresh-forming bruises, and the more your concerned gaze scans over his rough features, the more splotches of purple and blue you notice. There are scrapes, too, because of course there are, and if you know Sam, he’s hiding several deeper cuts beneath the thin fabric of his white t-shirt.

“I’ll be careful,” he had promised just three weeks earlier, right before he had taken off for Germany with Charlie and Sully. You had known it was a lie the moment he had winked and kissed you goodbye.

You can’t find it in yourself to blame him, though. Drakes, historically speaking, are risk-takers, after all.

“You’re hurt,” If his face and the exposed flesh of his arms and biceps look this battered, you can only imagine what the rest of his body looks like, and this realization makes your heart ache in the worst way. “When I told you to come back to me in one piece, I meant it, Sam.”

He shoots you a smug, lopsided grin. “...and, technically, I delivered.” He attempts to joke, using his hands to emphasize the fact that hadn’t lost a limb while away on a job, but his gaze immediately softens once he realizes that you’re not laughing. “Hey...I’m okay.” One of his hands snakes around your waist, insistent on holding you closer to him, and his other cradles the side of your face before he dares to swoop in for another kiss.

“Sam, you really should let me take a look at you.” You begin to protest, but he’s kissing you again and your arms are instinctively wrapping around him because, damn it, you’ve missed him so much.

“Baby, I promise, I’ve never been better.” He reassures you, and in that moment, with you in his arms and his own roof over his head, he absolutely means every word.

Still, you’re not convinced, and when it comes to the physical wellbeing of your boyfriend, you’re the epitome of stubborn.“Your left eye is swollen shut.” A mild exaggeration on your part, maybe, but you refuse to be the first one to relent this time; never mind the fact that he’s already slowly walking you backwards towards the direction of your shared bedroom, his hands gripping your hips and his mouth only leaving yours long enough to tease you.

“You should see the other guy.” He smirks against another kiss, too cocky for his own good, before he dares to lift you into his arms and carry you the rest of the way. You can’t help but laugh, your arms instantly wrapping around him for support, and it’s in that moment that you realize he’s won this round. Damn.

Oh well.

Samuel Drake is nothing if not insatiable and, evendentily, very impatient.

“I bet you have a concussion,” You muse, almost to yourself, after Sam drops you gently onto the soft, familiar surface of your bed. He wastes no time in crawling on top of you, placing his strong, sun-kissed arms on either side of you body and shooting you a canary-eating grin before he resumes his adoration of your neck. You take in a sudden, sharp breath as he tauntingly bites at the flesh underneath your ear. Despite being caught off guard, you manage to maintain a sliver of your sense of humor. “I bet you’re concussed right now, Samuel Drake.”

He mumbles something rough and incoherent against your collarbone before he slowly pushes up the fabric of your t-shirt with one hand and grasps for one of your breasts with the other. You can’t stop the pleased, aching sigh from escaping your lips as he captures one of your nipples in his mouth, his tongue skillfully caressing the sensitive bud of flesh while one of his hands mirrors the same sensation.

Every part of your body aches for him in that moment (and in most moments, if you’re being completely candid with yourself). You can feel yourself instinctively curling into him, your back arching in response to his teasing touch. Suddenly, an idea pops into your head, and you can’t help but smile a rare, coy smile of your own.

“When’s the last time you’ve eaten?” You manage to voice the question the form of another sigh as he continues to travel down the length of your body with his mouth and hands, reclaiming you as his inch by inch.

This particular question catches his interest, though. He places a series of quick kisses right above your navel before glancing up at you, eyebrow cocked, a signature smirk already beginning to form on his lips. “Is that an invitation?”

For a very brief moment, your expression mirrors his; a knowing, coy, Cheshire grin tugs at the corners of your lips and you’re brave enough to raise an eyebrow of your own, your gaze all but daring him to completely give into his primal urges.

Your smile is all the confirmation he needs. In a matter of seconds, he’s hooking his hands underneath your legs and pulling you closer to him. This draws a pleased, giddy laugh from you, and in that moment, Sam swears to God that he’s never heard a sweeter sound.  

“You’re insatiable, you know that?” You all but purr as you prop yourself up on your elbows, glancing down, quite pleased with the sight of Sam’s face in between your legs. You nip at your lower lip absentmindedly as he tugs at your skirt, clearly eager to get the restricting fabric out of his way.

“Oh, Sweetheart,” His tone of voice is dangerously low, and when he leans up to kiss you again, the aching need in his eyes is unmistakable.“When it comes to you? Absolutely.”

He kisses you a final time before he repositions his face between your legs. One of his hands grips your waist, keeping you right where he wants you, and the other hooks under one of your legs, giving himself easier access to your exposed sex.

You take in a steadying, deep breath as he continues to kiss and tease the skin below your navel, savoring every inch of you, and while you adore how...attentive he is in this particular department, you are beginning to grow impatient. After all, it’s been three whole weeks; for you and Sam, that’s a long time to go without sex. The wait, by this point, was almost too much.

You’re seconds away from telling Sam to hurry the hell up, already when you feel his tongue tease and prod at the slick, heated entrance of your pussy. A soft, involuntary mewl falls from your lips in reaction to his touch and this is all the encouragement he needs before he begins to devour you as if you’re the best thing he’s ever tasted.

It is borderline-animalistic, the way he’s tasting and lapping your juices up as if his very life depends on his performance. The rough, low groans that escape his throat are loud and primal and you feel a hot, radiating blush cascade throughout your entire body. “Jesus, Sam…” You manage to half-chuckle, half-moan, your hand absentmindedly getting lost in and tugging at his disheveled hair as he continues to explore you in one of the most intimate ways possible.

While he’ll never admit it in so many words, Sam adores praise, and your sudden exclamation only makes him work harder for more of it. He’s quick to seek out your clit with his eager tongue, teasing the sensitive bud of flesh for a few moments before encircling it completely. You let another loud, involuntary moan fall from your lips as he showers your clit with relentless affection, prodding and sucking and nearly sending you over the edge right then and there. You’re determined to prolong the inevitable, but you’re beginning to realize just how difficult that may be once he slides two, thick fingers deep inside of you. 

“Oh, fuck, Sam-” You can’t help but cry out in pleasure as his fingers begin to establish a steady rythmn, his lips and teeth and tongue still ravishing your clit. It’s all overwhelming in the best kind of way and you know there’s no chance of fighting off an orgasm if he keeps this pace up. “Sam, you’re going to make me-” You can’t find it in you to finish your sentence as Sam suddenly sucks on your clit again with a newfound sense of pressure while picking up the pace, finger-fucking you right over the edge.

“That’s right, cum for me just like that.” He encourages in the form of another growl as he continues to pump his fingers in and out of you, helping you ride out your orgasm, only relenting when you gently push his head away. Your breathing is uneven and your body is flushing and your boyfriend is looking, and feeling, very pleased with himself..

He makes a show of licking his fingers clean as he repositions himself next to you, propping himself up on one elbow and shooting you a shameless grin afterwards.”You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say that you missed me more than “just a little.” He teases, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, which earns him a soft, reprimanding slap on the arm and a long, lingering kiss.

“Maybe I missed you a lot...” You purposely trail off in between a lazy string of kisses, your lips teasing the corner of his mouth as one of your hands dares to purposefully brush up against the aching bulge resting next to his thigh. You feel his entire body immediately go rigid and you have to make yourself suppress a chuckle. “Maybe that’s all I did was miss you.”

In a matter of moments, Sam is kicking off his jeans and you’re insistent on straddling his waist, your lips and tongues and shaky breaths intertwining as you begin to slowly stroke his throbbing cock with your hand. He groans into your mouth and his hips involuntarily buck, desperate for his own relief.

Desperate for you.

You smile down at him, and now that your eyes have fully adjusted to the dim lighting the bedroom, you’re starting to make out several scrapes and bruises that are sprinkled across the surface of his bare chest. Your smile only softens marginally, and you’re quick to redirect your gaze to meet his own again. “You know, you can let me take care of you every once in a while.” Your voice is soft, just a tone or two above a whisper, and Sam is about to reply when you give his large, throbbing cock a squeeze for good measure. He delivers the desired effect and groans out a pleading, desperate sort of sound.

He mutters your name in that same tired, heavy, pleading voice, his eyes dark with need and his hands already gripping at your hips again. You ultimately decide that he’s been teased enough, poor thing, and in a matter of moments, you’re aligning the head of his cock with the entrance of your pussy and lowering yourself down onto him.

Your mutual cries of pleasure mix in the air as you struggle to take all of him at once. You rest a shaky hand on his chest in order to maintain some sense of composure, despite the fact that an aching sense of absolute need was currently stemming from every inch of your body. One of his hands is glued to your hip and the other snakes its way up your waist, grabbing at your right breast as you began to establish a slow, intimate rhythm.

“Fuck, I missed you,” he groans out the confession in such a way that makes you weak in the knees, and you take him deeper and deeper with every passing thrust as you desperately moan and cry out for each other. “I missed you so much.”

There’s a certain, sudden vulnerability within his voice that makes you bend down to kiss him hard on the mouth. One of his hands instantly tangles itself into your hair as he bucks and slams his hips against yours, causing the both of you to cry out over and over again.

Unable to hold back any longer, Sam gingerly repositions the pair of you so that you’re lying on your back, under him, his cock still embedded deep within you. You can tell by the way he’s fucking you that he’s close, that he’s becoming so unhinged that he can’t even think straight. You’re not far behind, your second orgasm rapidly escalating as the head of his cock meets your sweet spot over and over and over again.

“You gonna cum for me again?” He growls as he thrusts into you once more, your sporadic cries of pleasure nearly driving him over the edge. “Cum for me, baby. Cum all over my cock.”

Your second orgasm is even stronger than the first and you let out a loud, helpless cry as your pussy constricts around his bursting cock. His face is buried in your neck as he cums, filling you up and bucking his hips erratically until he finally slows.

Limbs remain tangled in a comfortable silence for what feels like a long time. The white noise of the oscillating fan has nearly knocked Sam out cold, but just as he’s about to drift off for what would likely be a twelve hour sleep, minimum, he feels you ghosting your fingers across the skin of his arm.

“Hm?” He mutters, unwilling to open his eyes just yet.

“I still need to check you out.” You remind him gently as you begin to untangle yourself from his arms. He’s reluctant to let you go, but he knows that there’s no point in fighting you on this.

The idea of someone caring about him in the way that you do is still unfamiliar, uncharted territory for the eldest Drake, and while he isn’t opposed to the foreign concept of altruistic affection, there are still situations, such as these, where he just has trouble understanding why; why should someone like you care if someone like him has a concussion? Or a black eye? Or both?

His thoughts are interrupted by the lovely sight of you reappearing in the doorway, wearing one of his favorite shirts, a glass of water in one hand and a hefty medical kit in the other. He shoots you a tired, happy smile, and he really is happy, despite the fact that he’ll likely be spending the better half of the next hour being poked and prodded, and not in the fun way.

“You could just give me a couple of painkillers and we could call it a night, you know.” He suggests, still sporting a half-smile, the idea of a deep, long sleep sounding more appealing by the second. He always sleeps better when he’s home with you.

“Mm, I suppose we could do that,” you begin, sitting at the edge of the bed and popping the kit open as you crossed one leg over the other. “But I can’t let you have your way all of the time.” It’s your turn to flash him a wink before a warmer, kinder expression settles onto your face. “Now let’s get a good look at that eye of yours.”

Sam doesn’t have the energy to protest. Not anymore, anyway; not after this evening’s events, and if playing the part of medical examiner makes you happy? Well, he supposes he can live with that.

#samuel drake #sam drake #sam drake x reader #uncharted #my writing