#also this part of the song drives me wild everyone go listen to it k bye

[barrioghost]

Sydney Adamu & Carmy Berzatto | True Blue, boygenius

pt.1 | pt. 2

#love can be platonic or romantic and each is valuable so i don't want to see any fighting about it in the notes ok #they're soulmates #SOULMATES I TELL YOU #also this part of the song drives me wild everyone go listen to it k bye #the bear #sydney adamu #carmy berzatto #true blue #boygenius

[here4theheartbreak]

Look at all those pretty photocards!! Amazing~~! The bread ones are sooo cute! 🍞 I HOPE YOU CAN GET/TRADE FOR ALL THE ONES YOU WANT ✨💛 I don't collect photocards because I think it would drive me insane and it might become the start of my villain origin story. Although, I am contemplating buying the fan kit this year because of the tarot-type cards. It's crazy how the kit is £12 but the shipping is £30. Still, I might get it, we'll see.😩🤣

It's so tragic but so true! Someone being... or appearing to be... a decent celebrity is SO rare that it's both thrilling and baffling when you find someone that seems genuinely good. The bar is THAT low. It's lower than low. It's like we're measuring it from the other side of the planet. You've gotta go through the core of the earth and back out again to discover how low the bar actually is.

It honestly seems pretty easy not to use gendered language in songs? Especially in Korean songs? Because it doesn't seem that necessary linguistically? I mean, you don't even use she/he/they to describe your pets, it's always just 'the dog', or 'our cat', or their actual name. 🤷‍♀️

I also agree that using 'girl' in fan songs feels especially alienating. I was actually thinking about this at the Yongguk concert last week. My man was singing 'all my girls be smiling, all my girls be wilding' with his whole chest at the fans and I'm like 'but bro I can see at least three guys from here'. It felt like such a shame in a way? I know it wasn't his intention, but it feels exclusionary to me (and I'm saying that as a part of the 'target' audience). In the future, I hope more artists make their music gender neutral. 🧡✨

Plus, in love songs, let's be real, you can just use 'you' or avoid using pronouns altogether. It's not that hard? And it instantly makes your song a song for everyone?? And it makes it a song that your fans can sing thinking about anyone?? It makes so much sense. In fact, it actually makes MORE sense to do that.

That's the dream! That's the K-pop utopia. Honestly, I wish every fan, of every group, would be seen (and treated) as a fan first and foremost — regardless of their gender identity and/or their presentation. (And the same goes for things like age, race, appearance etc.) A fan is a fan. It SHOULD be that simple. Everyone who's buying albums, going to fansigns, waiting in line, showing up at shows, they're all there for the same reason, with the same heart, and the same passion. It seems so simple and so obvious to me that it's always jarring to realise, over and over again, that that's just NOT how it happens a lot (most?) of the time.

We've learnt the hard way! 😂 Vetting and investigating a group is basically ingrained in me at this point. It's future damage control. It's at-the-door vibe checking. I just don't want to actively support/invest in someone I wouldn't support in my actual life, I don't want to support someone who wouldn't support me, I don't want to support someone who I believe wouldn't stand up for a marginalised person, I don't want to support someone whose persona/personality I have to keep making excuses for. I'm not an idiot. I know they're all normal people. I know even the 'good' ones are almost certainly gonna make a few 'mistakes'. BUT some of these people... jfc.👀 And I don't mind listening to artists casually, and not caring about their 'brand', as it were, but if I'm investing in someone I want to feel confident(?) comfortable(?) at ease(?) in doing so.

THIS! Seeing someone for yourself tells you/shows you such a lot. Going off secondhand accounts is never ideal for building up an image of someone and/or their behaviour. Videos reveal a lot, especially when that person doesn't know the recording is going anywhere. Personally (secondhand account incoming), I knew Ateez were good since their hi touch back in the day because my mom loves ateez, and she went before me in the line, and I got to see exactly how they treated her, and how they spoke to her, and how they looked at her as she moved on to the next member. And they were not only super excited to see her but they were also VERY polite and took a little extra time to say hello. So, from then on, I was like, if nothing else, they have impeccable manners. So, let that be confirmed once and for all... 😂🌸

That's actually SO true. They could easily be more neutral in their support. They never had to do any of those things to that degree. They could definitely do less and still be seen as decent people. Very decent people, even. Honestly, you only engage in that way, that consistently, if you genuinely want to. (And I hope they do lose a few anti-lgbt fans every time they engage with the community. Byeeeee~!)

I forgot about the whole 'the group colour should be a rainbow' thing! 🌈🥺 I loved the thanxx styling so much! I would get a little rainbow coloured 'thanxx' tattoo in a heartbeat. What a great thing that was. All those tiny rainbows everywhere. We were so blessed!!

Ateez are not afraid to play boy/boy when they do those kinds of things. You never really know what you're gonna get! I love that they'll just do it. And that it's never the basis of a bad joke. They just enjoy it and have fun, and no one is thinking too hard about it. It just is.

Yeosang, our strong but tiny man. The members. The company staff. Most of the fans. We're all just out here waiting to do whatever Kang Yeosang wants us to do. Everyone's desperate to be of service. He tells us to jump... and we're all clamouring to find out how high.

THE NEW HAIR COLOURS!!! The return of blonde Yunho? Red-brown Jongho?? Red San??? Neon green Yeosang???? AMAZING. A M A Z I N G 💚

Also, I saw that clip of San complaining about how Atiny draw him again this morning and it really makes me laugh every time! The man is so serious and so offended... but it looks exactly like him when he smiles?? Good job Atiny. You're absolutely right. ✨🎨

Someday I will be able to answer an ask in a reasonable amount of time I stg.

Anyways. Oh I was very weak. And ended up with a whole new stack of Outlaws 🙈 - in my defense! I was ordering sth from a KR shop that I like for a couple of my friends and the albums are so much cheaper over there (like 14 usd for a regular version and like 10 usd for a platform) - it’s just the shipping that is high, and since I was already placing an order for folks, it didn’t actually raise the shipping all that much to add in a few >.> more albums… And I may or may not have broken down and gotten a lightstick. (Again - so much cheaper from KR, esp if you’re already placing a big order, it only bumps the shipping up a few dollars.) I also ended up getting a couple platforms; a few of the pcs in them (the album ones in particular) are so cute and I figured I’d grab a couple random ones and see what I got.

So here’s my new set of pulls >.> I’m delighted with the SanSang unit pcs - I was already eyeing buying them bc they’re so cute, the scream I let out when I pulled them.

And bc my friends all collect these other members I’ve been able to trade for a few more that I want >.> Including peeking Wooyoung 😭.

The platforms tho - cracked me up - random, ofc - but I got San for one pack, and was so delighted - I also pulled Wooyoung’s sticker in that pack lol. The second pack I pulled was Wooyoung and believe it or not… I pulled San’s sticker in his! 🤣Apparently can’t keep them apart even in random album inclusions lmao - Here’s those sets.

Honestly - I was looking at PC templates last night to see who/what all I wanted and I realized that if I was to collect all of these pcs I would 100% lose my mind, there’s like 60 per member per comeback what the fuck. So Instead I’ve made a list of the few that I find really really cute and want and will slowly gather them over the months.

I ended up lucking out in a major way last week and found someone selling a lot of about 25 albums, with all inclusions except pcs, for what amounted to under 6usd per album. They span from debut to Fever pt 3; there’s a number of duplicates but I don’t mind that so much, since it lets me pick and choose which version I want, and then I can easily resell the ones I don’t need, or gift them to my friends. It’s the entire Treasure series tho, which I have been trying to find for a decent price for weeks V_V

Even a couple of duplicates of some of them, I was so excited bc I know a couple folks in my friend group here that are looking for some of the ones that are duplicated so I can offload them pretty quick. So once that comes in, I think i’ll have all their KR releases (and I don’t collect JPN albums for any group but SHINee bc they simply don’t display as well in jewel cases 🤷🏻‍♂️ - and I collect for display and also bc I do genuinely like looking through the phonebooks more than once, so JPN releases usually are lacking that anyways unless you get the limited ones.

Anyways - I saw the fan kit! I love the tarot type set up, it’s so cute. I absolutely adore tarot cards and prophecy type cards and collect fun decks, so I knew I needed to have it, I ordered it last week - I’d been intending on getting the membership anyways. I’m so used to excessively high shipping bc I tend to order my stuff from KR when I can (it usually arrives way faster and the price over there plus shipping is about equal to the price from US based shops bc they raise the price of the item to cover their import fees anyways, so it makes sense to pay a couple bucks more and have the album a few days after release instead of saving money but waiting months for the US shop to get it in and ship it.

It is so so easy not to gender KR songs from what I’ve seen; and very obvious since most of the time when they gender it, they add in the english word instead like… Please don’t?

Honestly I would have gotten so uncomfortable hearing that tbh (Yongguk). My instant thought would’ve been like oh, he doesn’t want me here, I wonder if he sees me if he’ll be uncomfortable :/ I hope he doesn’t notice me standing here — which is literally the opposite reaction you want at a concert - afaik you want your idols to see you! (Except Rie at the OOO concert - could have done without him seeing me and my friend absolutely ugly crying over him but life goes on lol). But yeah no, especially since idols are aiming more for international appeal these days, they really should start considering that there are a lot of fans that don’t match the stereotypical KR fan, and they’re gonna fall flat in a lot of areas if they don’t broaden their appeal to a variety of people - ages, genders, etc.

Also yes - I don’t expect idols to be perfect. Tbh if a celeb has never had a misstep I might side eye them as hard as if they were horrible - bc nobody is perfect and if they’re that good at hiding everything, what are they hiding, you know? Like I want someone who’s a good person but a real person - not someone who’s a master manipulator either.

Awww - it’s so sweet that they were nice to your mom! Sometimes older fans get overlooked (or hated on in fandom itself) so it’s always super nice to see when they’re treated well. I mean, lbvs - who do the idols think are actually paying their bills? It’s not the 12-15 year old fans, for the most part - it’s those fans’ parents and the adult fans who set aside their own income for this 🤣

And yeah no - their support is very obvious and I think very genuine. Their willingness to work with queer folk too - that trans comedian the members do a show with sometimes (I can’t recall her name, but she’s hilarious and so brash. The way my heart soared when Wooyoung called her noona with zero hesitation). And then the few doing the collar with Pentatonix, who don’t hide their queer identity, etc. - I think those sorts of behaviors show a far more honest comfort and ease with people of different walks of life and communities and it’s just so nice to see. 😭

I think the thanxx rainbows are so adorable; I have one photo that I adore with San with the rainbow on his ear - it’s so cute V_V - I like that song a lot too, I think the meaning vibes well with queer folks too in a way. It’s unfortunate that the song has been soured with the CA issue, bc I feel like it get overlooked for that and the meaning is actually really good and the song is really well put together.

I desperately want an ateez tattoo; I have a perfect spot on my arm for it to link together my sleeve but I need to decide which design I want and which song bc there’s a good number I’ve got ideas for and only so much skin left lol. (Normally I get a tattoo for each concert I attend but I might get this one a bit early lol.)

Ah - I am of the minority here but I cannot take Yeo seriously with that hair 😂 the black stripes stripes made it so much worse - this kid walked straight out of an early 2000’s hot topic and definitely writes his aol messages with ‘rawr’ and has far too many x’s in his profile name. 14-16 year old me would have been absolutely enamored with him and think he’s the coolest guy ever. But I do absolutely love San’s hair. That shade of red is either a perfect match or a horrible nightmare on idols - and most of them fall to the nightmare side of things - he manages to pull it off so delightfully imo and I love it. I’m so late on this ask that Yunho has already changed his hair 😂 - I do really like the dark kinda grey-blue he’s got now too. Also Mingi! I love what he’s done with his hair! The cut really suits his face and I actually really dig the blonde and black look he’s got going on.

And omg that video - I found that super early on when I was getting into them and it made me love him so much. He takes zero shit from fans and has no problem calling them out on things - I love it so much and it made me so endeared to him… But now that I’ve watched more of their stuff… Sorry man, atiny is right, you do smile like that - it’s absolutely precious - but it’s also accurate. 🤣

#answered #ask #daegu-flowjob #long post

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Cold (White Demon’s Love Song, Part 1.)

Series description: A new job was what the reason you found yourself on a lonely roadtrip on the western coast, ending up in the woods of Olympian Peninsula. Yet a sudden car malfuction was what cause your unplanned stay in Forks. To your surprise, there was a lot of sinister things going on under the veil of fog. 

Part summary: On your way to Port Angeles, your car just suddenly gave up, dying just in front of the Forks welcome sign. Well... It was time to call the local mechanic.

A/N: The series’ name is obviously a call-back to Twilight Saga: New Moon soundrack, A White Demon Love Song (by the Killers), used in the ending credits. Honestly, the song is amazing and you should give it a listen, or two, because it reminds me of Jacob so much.  

Word count: 4.5 K

Twilight playlist: ✨ Twilight Crackheads ✨

Series masterlist: H E R E

PICTURE SOURCE 

Dedicated to the best hooman being I know, my dearest, @missdictatorme​

It was nothing but a small town, located close to the western coast, standing in the middle of nothing but deep, dark woods. Its population never crossed the milestone of 4.000 people at one time - neither it had a chance to do so. The town was located in northern America, in the state of Washington. Its name was Forks - close to Forks, there was a native-American territory named the Quileute reservation, La Push being its tiny, beating heart; a slightly bigger town named Port Angeles, and one big city - Olympia.

The forests and nature of the Olympian Peninsula was one of the most mysterious and beautiful to ever be experienced by a human being. There were mountain lions and bears, wolves, and bigger, more dangerous animals hiding in the deep, all-year-long green woods. For such a small town, Forks had its fair share of unnatural, mythical, and legendary creatures roaming around/in it. The deepest nightmares of horror and fairytales coming true, if you will. It also seemed that the town just can't leave the cycle of repeating events, one man in the woods thought.

It wasn't just a man, no, that wouldn't be accurate to say. It was a man with a literal animal inside his body. An animal about which he hoped will never come on the surface once again. All he wanted was to grow old without complications, that was his whole deal. Now that he was left alone, behind and Cullens, the residing vampire family, had left the town, he and his brothers had a chance to do so... Finally. Five years ago, he and Sam Uley, the leader of another pack, watched the Cullens leave the city for another... Hundred years or so. It appeared it's the time to stop with the whole wolf thing, letting them let the wolves inside of them die.

Being a werewolf, a child of the moon, a wolf, or a shapeshifter, whatever you wanted to call it, wasn't as brutal as it was described in horror stories over the years. More than anything, the men and women of the Quileute tribe were carrying the spirit animal inside - the animal was waiting inside, sleeping, until it was called to rise once more. Not everyone could become a wolf - only the ancestors of the first big chief, Taha Aki, could do so. There also needed specific things to happen for their transformation, whether it was the first one or another beginning of the cycle. They needed to smell the scent of vampires.

No-one could predict a pack of vampires taking refuge just a small bit from Forks, again. Yet this time, it wasn't the 'good' vampires feeding on animal blood; these were wild, unpredictable, and red-eyed. These could not be debated to reach any sort of agreement or truce, as the Cullens did a century ago. These had to be stopped, killed, and burned. Whether they would be acting nice or not, they were a threat to Forks and everyone living in it. Which the spirits realized - they started to re-awaken once more.

First, it caught most of the pack unprepared - both alphas of the Uley and Black pack started to feel the sensation of intense heat, of rage and fury all of a sudden. For Jacob Black, it happened when he was in his workshop, repairing an old engine. He barely had the strength to walk out of the building. His muscles were tensing uncontrollably, a high fever appeared all of a sudden. Just muttered groans of pain and heavy breathing could be heard as Jacob walked past the first line of high trees, waiting for the feeling to rip him apart like a rag doll. This shouldn't be happening. There were no vampires in Forks anymore, why was the wolf urging to come out?

The man fell on both his knees. In despair, his fingers dug deep into the forest soil as he let himself cry out in pain. No-one could see him or hear him now, it was fine. The spasms made him fall on his back as his pupils were wildly rolling. If any Catholic priest would see him, he could easily claim that Jacob was possessed by a demon. Another groan left Jacob's body, which was still writhing in convulsions until the part came - the one where his human form just exploded, a hoard of russet fur sprang out as the wolf tried to get on his feet. The man was highly confused. Why did this happen? He wasn't left in the dark for too long - soon, he heard the familiar voice of Sam Uley, who was just a few years older than him, inside his head.

Sure, both of them decided to separate some time ago, creating two packs in Forks, but they could still communicate telepathically - as two alphas, the leaders of the pack. - 'Is that you, Jacob?' - Sam screamed into the void, being scared beyond his wildest dreams. It was understandable - back in the day, Sam was the first to awaken his spirit wolf when the Cullens moved back to Forks. Naturally, he was alone and didn't get what was happening to him that much - until the elders told him. This time, it might've been the same thing, again. Naturally, Sam was relieved when he felt another mind connect into the web of shared thoughts, even if it was just Jacob. - 'Did it just happen to you too? Are you the only one as well?' - Sam asked with anxiety. - 'Yes. I can't hear Seth or Embry or Quil. You?' - Jake informed about his current situation. - 'I can't hear anyone either. Do you know what's happening?' - Yet this time, Jacob was silent.

He didn't know what was going on. The only thing he knew was that he has to protect his territory by all costs - and that something is going on around Forks.

A few days later, road 101:

"You are now tuning into Radio Forks on 140.5 FM. The weather is nice today, but remember to be careful on the roads anyway. On a request from our listener, we will now play The Violet Hour by Sea Wolf... Take it away." - A woman in the radio said, her voice mashing up into happy guitar rhythms in the end. The song was nice and fast, so it made you dance in the seat of your Beetle while you gripped on the steering wheel. The car was most probably at least twice as old as you were, it wasn't in the best condition and the stereo was also kind of shit, and the AC worked only when you pulled out the lighter out, but it was still your car in the end. Well, you couldn't afford anything better from a teacher payment anyway - the Beetle never gave up on you, it had never malfunctioned and even if it did eat a lot of fuel, you still loved the car.

Now, you were on your way to Tacoma because of the work you've been given there - starting in a few weeks, you've already had moved most of your stuff into the new apartment which you shared with a roommate. It was exciting, starting another stage of your life in Tacoma. Sure, your mom was a bit scared when you told her how far you were moving out, but you promised to call and text her all the time, so she would be calm.

But before your final settling down in Tacoma, your friends advised you to take a short trip along the western coast - especially the upper part of it. So you did as they told you - you were now close to some small town named Forks, which you wanted to just drive through quickly, before continuing to Port Angeles. These towns were small and hadn't much to offer, but according to your friend, it was magical to stay there, even just for a while. So far, you hadn't stopped in many towns, but you had to say that you liked the weather - hot, sunny days? You were starting to question them after spending a week on the road. The higher you got in Washington, the more cloudy and rainy it got. More importantly, it was freezing in this part of the world. What was the sun? You didn't know. You hadn't seen it since you entered the deep, green, and rainy woods of the state. The roads were always slipping from the rain, so you had to focus on the damn road at all times.

There was deer here and there on the road, but even if the view was mostly the same, you liked it. The air was cold and humid even though, in the nights and sometimes even during the day, it got very cold up here. You've chosen to move to Tacoma, didnt you? This was what you should be prepared for.

Quickly, you glanced over the map to see if you're still on the right road when your eyes widened in horror. The motor just made a damn weird sound. Oh no. Oh crap! You cried out internally as you felt the car slowing down. All you did was to ride to the roadside with panic as the car made a few very unpleasant sounds before the engine stopped completely. The Forks sign was mocking you from the distance, telling you that you were just a small while from the city. So much for just passing through, huh? Without too much waiting, you tried to call the local post office, the only number you had on your phone and to your surprise, the woman knew a number on the local mechanic. Why wouldn't she? According to the number on the board, this town was damn small.

Or, maybe, a lot of people called her and asked her for a towtruck.  

More so, she switched you over to the workshop just moments after. You've been sitting in the car, already having your winter jacket pulled on since it was getting cold in there rapidly, watching the damn sign just mocking you silently. You were in the temptation to stick your tongue out, but it was just a dumb sign. - "Jacob Black on the phone, what can I do for you?"

First off, the voice, regarding the polite question, sounded almost fed up and annoyed - and you haven't spoken out yet. Someone had a bad day. Second of all - the man sounded quite young. Did the post-office-lady switch you to a bad number? - "Hello? Is someone out there?" - The Jacob mechanic asked again. The tone, again, was unpleasing to listen to. But this time, you gathered yourself to answer. - "Yea, yea. Hi, I got your number? They told me you're the Forks mechanic with a towtruck? Is that right?" - You quickly got out of yourself. While you were talking, you got out of the car and walked around the car in circles, trying to warm yourself up. Which was borderline foolishness when it was drizzling outside, but whatever. - "Where you're stuck? What happened?" - The man said without a hint of caring about the topic.

"My car just... Stopped suddenly." - You described. After a quiet sigh, you could almost hear the Jacob man rolling his eyes. - "I'm just a few yards from the Forks welcome sign. Can you help me or should I call someone else?" - Wow, you got straight to the point. Damn, you didn't need some fed up, annoyed mechanic. He could at least pretend to care. It wouldn't have killed him. - "Listen, miss. The nearest towtruck, except me, is in Port Angeles. If you don't wanna pay ridiculous prices for the service, it will be wise to hire me, okay? It's one mile... So I'll be asking for five bucks just to get your car to my garage, with the services and everything counted in. Is that alright?"

Again, even if the question was meant to be polite since you were his potential customer, it was said in such a manner that couldn't be described other than rude. Jacob was straightway rude with you. Also, five dollars for a mile were a bit overpriced. You could be glad that the mechanic of such backwater didn't ask for ten bucks... Let alone how much would the Port Angeles mechanic want? You had some money with you, but it wasn't much either. And for now, you had to save until you'd get to know what's wrong with your car. - "Okay. How long until you'll be here?" - You asked, now you were fed up as well. That made two of you annoyed, great conversation. - "In about... Half an hour. See you there." - And the phone line went dead. With empty gaze, you were staring into the woods with both your eyebrows raised as you listened to the long, beeping sound.

Half an hour? Did he want to let you freeze out there, in the woods, lost on the road 101? And for the love of God, you couldn't wait for the moment you'll talk with the man from eye to eye. That will be an unpleasant conversation, you could tell already. Quickly, you ran back to your car. For some time, you tried to get at least the almost non-existent heating system on, but the car was dead. It didn't even start. You were sure that you'll freeze to death before the towtruck comes to save you. And you almost did - by the time you've seen an old, big Chevy truck with a hook on its back, your mouth were already feeling your teeth-gnashing being fully set. You were hugging yourself inside the car, there was mist slowly coming out of your lips. Well, this was bad.

The man jumped out of the towtruck, watching your car in horror. How old was this thing? Sixty years? Well, it was certainly older than its owner, who was sitting inside. It could be told you weren't used to such cold, because you were looking as if you were about to die any minute. With your eyebrows knitted, you watched the man approaching your window. The first thing that punched you in the eyes was the fact he was wearing just a plain, short-sleeved t-shirt and a pair of old jeans. The man also had long hair pulled into a man bun and damn, these eyes could start shoot bolts of lightning at any time.

He also was... Huge. You'd swear you hadn't seen a man who would take as much space as him. This man was at least six feet tall... And a lot of inches more. As he approached you, you suddenly felt the need to scold him down about politeness fading away. As he knocked onto the window, you rolled it down with a super awkward smile, feeling every inch of you being scared by the man. As soon as you rolled the window down, the man leaned both his palms into the door - with a glance, you figured out he would be able to just break the door if he'd want to, and leaned closer to you.

"You were the one that called?" - The man asked, annoyed once more. So, this was Jacob Black himself - the local mechanic in all his glory. A freaky dude, in your opinion. - "Yep. 't was me." - You peeped out while trying to keep the smile on. Jacob straightened up and sighed, looking away from you for a moment. The way you were smiling, as if you weren't feeling physically well, was giving him the creeps too, don't you worry about it. - "Get out, I'll help this bad boy up." - Jacob patted your car's top. For a moment, you were afraid that the car might break down to pieces as the cartoon cars did - the trunk would fall, the tires would roll away and you would be sitting there on the seat with the steering wheel in your palms. That, thank God, didn't happen.

As the man worked on pulling your car up so you could drag it to the workshop, you could ask him a ton of questions - why was he naked in the middle of such weather? Was being pissy his all-around mood? How was he doing? Yet out of respect, you were just standing there with the same terrifying smile and watching him doing all the job. If you weren't standing there and if you weren't watching him without moving, he'd have so much easier job. Jacob would just take the car, drag it to the hook and click to place - but solely because of your stare, he had to pretend he was struggling with the task a bit. Yet even though he was pretending to struggle, he was done in a few minutes. - "Well, get into the trunk. We don't want you to get... Cold." - Jacob spoke out to you carefully, trying to lower the level of annoyance in his voice.

It was just a simple misunderstanding - while Jacob was worried that the weather around here, to which you quite obviously weren't accommodated to, had done something to the muscles in your face, you were just worried that the man might do something to you if you say something wrong. That was the whole problem. You couldn't know that Jacob wouldn't ever hurt anyone and he couldn't know you're just afraid of big boys. With a nod, you walked to the cabin of the old Chevy truck. It was pretty old, but taken care of  - the black paint wasn't that old, it was still shiny in the drops of rain.

The way to the workshop was as quiet as hell - and uncomfortable the same. Jake didn't know what he did wrong and how to start a conversation with you. Honestly, you were just glad that the cabin of his truck was nicely warm. The color got back into your face in no time. And seemingly, the worried smile had disappeared as well. The way was quick - sooner than you'd say, Jacob already had the car inside his workshop. - "So, here's what I'm going to do. I'll check your car, see what's wrong and what can I do for you. You wanna a coffee, tea, or a cup of hot chocolate in the meantime? There are some magazines in the waiting room too, if you're interested." - The man looked at you while he cleaned his palms in the rug. - "The chocolate sounds nice if you don't mind." - "That's a buck worth of excess fare." - He mumbled to you, but walked to his office, getting the coffee machine ready. You almost wanted to tell him something back - yet just at that moment, the man turned his head at you.

His palm quickly pulled a strand of his black hair behind his eyes while his brown, warm eyes gave you a look. - "I was joking. It's counted into the services." - Jacob explained quickly. Oh. You nodded. It didn't sound like a joke, but who were you to judge that. Were all the people in Forks like this? If they were, well, this was sure a great place to live at. Just after he put the small cup on the table in the waiting room, he made sure the heating is on in there. After that, he disappeared into the workplace. All you could hear was some quiet music and rattling of tools as Jacob got into work.

All you did was that you sat there like a small kid, sipping on the warm treat. It was making you feel a bit better. Suddenly, the man almost kicked the door, standing in there with a horrified expression. - "How old is the car?" - Jacob asked simply, rubbing his palms into the rug again. Something in his eyes told you he's being freaked out by what he had seemed. - "I don't know. I bought it six years ago from my neighbor who was forbidden to drive because she couldn't see anymore." - You answered immediately, standing up to look the man in his eyes. - "I don't know how did it drive for so long. This is a wreck." - The mechanic informed you and turned on his heels, marching back to the shop. When you didn't get his hint and didn't follow, he turned his head at you and rose his eyebrow. You were there in no time at all.

"I don't even know where to start. The AC is busted, the hoses in the engine are clogged by various stuff, your alternator... Wow, I'm wondering that it's one piece..." - He was pointing his fingers around, talking about the breaks, some small parts, and various other stuff. - "Um, Mr. Black, I don't understand what you're trying to say, so... Can you get to the point? What is wrong and how much will it cost to repair the car?" - The expression you had on your face told Jacob that you, indeed, were confused as hell. He knew women, Rosalie Hale and such, who were into cars massively, so he would never say that cars were just a 'guy thing' - yet there were people who just weren't gifted in this sort of thing. - "Uh, I think it might be better to just buy some new car," - Jacob started, but your face told him you weren't thinking about leaving the beloved Beetle behind. - "Or, I can try to figure out what to do, yeah." - Suddenly, he walked to his small desk and started to work with his calculator, writing things down on a list. Then, he showed you how much you were about to pay - and the sum made you sit on the chair he had there. With a long sigh, you leaned your elbows to your knees, trying to keep it together.

700 dollars with his work counted in. That was quite something - somehow, you were positive that Jacob Black gave you a pity-discount as well. Sure, you had something saved - but you needed to eat something in Tacoma and 700 bucks wouldn't be healthy for your dying bank account. As a university student, you had multiple loans and stuff, you also had to pay the rent... And certainly, you didn't have spare 15.000 bucks to buy a new car. And you needed one. With a shaky sigh, you put your head to your palms and tried to keep it together. - "It will take me at least two weeks to get all the parts I need and then... Listen, I didn't know the car's this bad either." - Suddenly, you realized that the man is standing next to you, smoothing your shoulder. He could understand people in bad financial situations - he hadn't much himself, though it was significantly better than when he was younger.

He wanted to help you somehow, but the parts were simply too expansive against his liking. Especially for something like the Beetle in front of him. This bad boy needed to take care of everything - and Jacob, sure of his experience with old cars, knew he can repair it... Somehow. - "Is there a motel somewhere out here? Do you know the prices?" - You asked silently. Dear God, were you crying? What should he do? A crying woman, when did he encounter a situation tricky as this one the last time? His brain circuits almost burned up when he thought about what should he do with you. And suddenly... The small bulb was there. - "Um, are you a murderer or something like that?" - Jacob mumbled, trying to joke - and to his surprise, you joked back. - "I won't be killing anyone for you to repair my car with a discount." - This made him chuckle.

"That's good to know. I'll present you an idea, okay? Since I'm now sure you're not so mentally okay..." - "What did you say?" - Suddenly, you sprang up, making Jacob grin even more as he walked around the room. - "Nothing. All I'm saying is... The motel could get expansive for a long-term stay and I have one spare room above the shop. It's used for visitors mostly, so nothing you'd have to worry about. I'll ask ten bucks for a week and it would be kinda fine if you'd buy some food sometimes... And if you'd like to, you can help me out here - and in exchange for that, I'll give you a discount. I think I can lower the sum to 500, maybe 450 if I'll be lucky. I have to make something outta this, you know?" - The man leaned his ass into the car standing behind him, smiling at you carefully. Okay, this sure as hell was an act of pettiness, you could tell just by the look he gave you. But, honestly, he didn't seem to be that bad now.

Also, this was genuinely nice of him. When you imagined how much you'd pay for the motel, the car, and your food altogether, just for the two-week stay, your eyes rolled on their own. - "Why are you doing this?" - You asked quietly. You appreciated the help, you did, but it was strange. Maybe, if everyone was like the mechanic Jacob Black in Forks, the town wasn't half bad. - "Listen, I'm not some dude who would be into a kidnapping or other weird stuff... I just know how it's like not to have much money. You're young, driving this piece of crap, what do you work as, might I ask?" - "A teacher. I'll be starting in Tacoma this September." - Jacob didn't answer to your answer, he just rose his eyebrows to get his point across. - "Take it or leave it. That's all I'm saying." - "You also did miss the fact that I don't know cars at all." - There you were again, the joking-around girl he had seen just a few moments before. - "I also didn't say you'd get near my cars, God protects you if you'd try to do so. I have... Uh... Some problems with the administration if you wouldn't mind. Paperwork isn't my thing and picking up calls isn't my stick either." - "I've noticed."

For a moment, you've been looking at the dude in dead silence. Well, it was a risky plan - but you weren't in the position to do much more. Jacob gave you the best possible alternative you could hope for, it was just because he, under all the annoyance, could maybe be a pretty reasonable guy. - "I'll take your offer, only if I can tell the chief of local police that I'm staying in this workshop." - Jacob snorted at your condition, but he needed to say it was fair enough. - "Sure. So... Is that a deal?" - The man offered you a palm and you stood up, shaking it. - "It is a deal, Mr. Black. Name's Y/N, by the way. You probably should know that."

#a white demon love song #such a great song #omg #jacob black x reader #jacob black #the twilight saga #twilight saga #twilight renessaince #twilight crackheads #forks washington #the olympic peninsula #la push #the quileutes #lemme start another story babey

[pixieminutes]

Everyday Face | SCB

genre: fluff, college!AU

members: seo changbin x reader, han jisung, bang chan

warnings: sexual references? (like one)

23rd of September, 2019 (09:16 on the 4316)

“does this bus go to k-arts?”

the bus driver continued to chew his gum, giving you a judging look. you furrowed your eyebrows, checking behind you before turning back to him.

“yeah,” he groaned, turning back to the road as you tapped your card and looked for a place to sit.

left side: no.

right side: no.

oh wait, yes. one.

you sighed, walking up the aisle and stopping at the back of the bus, indicating that you wanted the seat to the boy currently sat by the window. he removed his bag, placing it at his feet. you smiled politely, sitting on the edge of the seat so not to disturb him.

a baby cried and you put your headphones in, closing your eyes to try and calm them of the ache that was caused from lack of sleep.

23rd of September, 2019 (09:27 on the 4316)

“um, excuse me? sorry. i need to get off.”

you blinked, looking dazed at the boy in front of your face, he checked the doors, biting his lip as you bowed slightly, standing up quickly to let him out.

you sighed, sitting back down as you looked out the window. korean national university of arts.

wait.

“stop! stop!” you called, grabbing all your things and pressing the button for the door hurriedly.

the bus driver grumbled, stopping the bus and allowing you just enough time to stumble off before driving off, leaving you on the side of the pavement, gathering your stuff.

you mustered up a smile, looking forward towards your new university. your classroom for the next two years. your home away from home.

you pulled your bag over your shoulder, looking down at your student id card looped around your neck and nodded, walking forward through the gates of k-arts as an older boy approached you, wearing the school jumper.

“welcome! i’m chan, a second-year. what department are you attending with us?”

23rd of September, 2019 (16:13 on the 4316)

“could i...”

“sure! sorry, i’ll just–“ you took your folder off the seat next to you, making the seat available to the same boy as this morning, his hand outstretched towards the seat.

“thanks,” he smiled, taking his bag off as the bus pulled away from your school.

you smiled politely, turning your head to face out the window, the sky line of seoul looking really fascinating compared to the risk of interacting with a stranger.

your eyes couldn’t help but wonder, though. just to his lap. his thighs were thick and covered with harsh black jeans but everything he was wearing was black.

his phone was in his hands, his hands resting on his knees as he looked for his next song. 3racha? you didn’t know who they were but you made a mental note to check them out.

24th of September, 2019 (09:16 on the 4316)

you tapped your card and looked around for a seat, seeing a few but one in particular catching your eye.

in the back, next to the boy dressed in black.

today he was wearing a yellow plaid shirt, which made you smile. he didn’t strike you as someone who would wear yellow.

you made your way to the back of the bus, the boy’s eyes lifting to meet yours as you approached him until finally you sat, smiling at him as you did.

“thanks.”

27th of September, 2019 (16:30 on the 4316)

“i’m guessing you also go to k-arts.”

he speaks.

you looked at him for a moment and you were sure you looked like a deer in headlights.

“wh-what?”

he motioned to your student id card around your neck before taking his out his pocket.

“i go there too,” he said, “what’s your department?”

“m-my– oh! fine arts,” you said, “what– what’s yours?”

“music production,” he nodded, “are you a first year?”

you nodded, “yeah. are you?”

he nodded, smiling slightly. you smiled back, unsure of where to turn anymore.

“looks good,” he commented.

you furrowed your eyebrows, turning to him quickly, “sorry?”

“you- your artwork!” he stuttered, “it- it looks good. your art. in your folder.”

you chuckled slightly, looking down to your folder on the floor in front of you before turning back to him, “thank you.”

he smiled, “i’m changbin.”

“y/n.”

30th of September, 2019 (09:14 at the bus stop outside your house)

“oh! y/n?”

“changbin?”

changbin chuckled, “yeah, is this your stop?”

you nodded, “yeah. i live just there. what are you doing here?”

“my friend’s apartment is over there,” changbin said, pointing to the apartment block opposite, “i stayed the night.”

you nodded, sniffling as the bus pulled up, the doors opening. changbin smiled, motioning an arm for you to get on first.

“thanks, bin.”

4th of October, 2019 (18:40 outside the korean national university of arts)

“friday night!”

you chuckled, “yes because our friday nights are so wild.”

jisung laughed, “but going to sleep knowing you don’t have to get up for anything in the morning? wah, the best.”

you laughed, “what about saturday nights?”

jisung winced, “religion calls, my friend.”

“your religious?”

he snorted, “as if. i was raised a pure catholic though. so pure i now suck dick as a hobby.”

you laughed out loud, earning a small grin from jisung.

“you like boys?” he asked.

“sure, if i could get any,” you chuckled, the walk to your house seeming further and further as the autumn wind picked up.

jisung pouted, “that’ll change one day. also, this is me.”

you sighed, allowing yourself to be pulled into jisung’s warm embrace, finding it to be disappointingly short as you felt the cold wind on your arms once again.

“night jisung,” you called as he walked up to the apartment building.

he didn’t turn back but waved as he went before sticking his hands in his oversized pockets, he must’ve been cold too. good thing he was home.

“y/n!”

you looked around in confusion at the shout of your name, growing slightly scared.

“y/n!”

you looked around again, this time hearing footsteps getting louder and louder as well as someone’s breathing getting heavier and heavier.

“y/n! you– you weren’t on the bus,” he panted.

you turned to see changbin running towards you, making you chuckle, furrowing your eyebrows, “changbin what are you–“

“it’s cold, y/n,” changbin said, “and i don’t think you even own winter wear and you were coughing yesterday as a result so i got some for you. be careful. you’re getting a cold and i’m worried about you.”

“why would you—“

“because we’re friends now, no questions.”

your heart fluttered slightly as you smiled, letting him wrap the scarf around your cold neck and face, “thank you binnie.”

changbin smiled slightly, taking your hands to slide them into the gloves, “that’s okay y/n. now let’s get you home, huh?”

7th of October, 2019 (09:17 on the 4316)

“hey,” you smiled, sitting next to changbin.

changbin smiled, but it grew even bigger as he saw the scarf wrapped around your neck and your hands covered by the gloves.

he didn’t have the heart to ask for them back.

7th of October, 2019 (16:24 on the 4316)

“so um, i’ve been invited to an event where this band is playing, 3racha, and i wondered if you would like to come?” changbin offered, “you don’t have to i was just thinking that... um... we could, you know, get to know each other. it’s next friday, if you’re free.”

you hoped the scarf you were wearing was covering up the blush that appeared on your cheeks.

“y-yeah,” you smiled, “that’d be nice.”

11th of October, 2019 (09:16 on the 4316)

you tapped your card, yawning as you went to the back of the bus.

“hey,” you muttered, sitting down.

no answer.

you looked to your right and sure enough, no one was there. you looked behind and to the left and in front, but seo changbin was no where to be seen.

you were not in a good mood that day.

11th of October, 2019 (20:06 in chan’s house)

you stared at your phone, uneasy as you looked around. everyone here was a music major. you knew none of these people.

you sighed, stepping outside onto the balcony as you called changbin’s number.

“hey it’s changbin, or spearb. can’t pick up right now, just leave me a message and i’ll reply when i can.”

“changbin where are you? thanks for inviting me, but i think i have to leave,” you sighed, “i don’t do parties, changbin, there’s something to get to know me better. and where were you on the bus today?”

12th of October, 2019 (10:29 outside your house)

“i’m coming! one minute!” you shouted, shushing the mystery person as their knuckles continued to rap against your door, “patience!”

a slight chuckle came from outside as you opened the door, your mouth parting in shock as you saw changbin stood outside your door.

you sighed at the sight of him, still not amused after last night.

“i– i was wondering if you did brunch instead?”

12th of October, 2019 (10:45 at a brunch restaurant changbin found this morning)

“how did you know where i lived?”

“you pointed out your apartment block to me,” changbin said, “that morning at the bus stop? 123, just like you said.”

you tilted your head to the side, “i never thought you would’ve remembered that.”

“why? i have a heart, you know, despite what my friends say,” changbin said.

you chuckled, watching as he took a sip of his iced americano.

you’d discovered in the days that you’d spent with changbin outside the 4316 that he was actually very handsome. very broad and muscly too.

“so, y/n,” changbin started, “what do you like to do, besides brunch?”

you chuckled, “um, art, i guess.”

changbin nodded, his black eyes twinkling.

“i really, really like music,” you said, “just listening. i just appreciate it so much. it can make you feel things and imagine things and you can just get lost in it! isn’t that just the coolest thing?! and you can’t even see it! it just... surrounds you. without even trying!”

“that’s cool,” changbin nodded.

you blushed, sitting back in your chair, “sorry. i talk too much.”

changbin’s face formed a pout, “who told you that? i love your voice. it’s lovely. in fact, i think i could listen to you speak for hours.”

you chuckled, “thanks, bin. you know you’re nothing like i imagined you to be.”

“what do you mean?” changbin’s eyebrows furrowed.

“you have this persona. this aura,” you shrugged, “i mean come on. your a big guy with black hair and mostly black outfits. you’re quite intimidating.”

changbin chuckled, “well, i thought you’d be boring.”

“hey!” you laughed, making changbin laugh as well.

“i’m joking, i’m joking.”

you smiled, taking a sip of your drink as the waiter brought over your food.

“thank you,” you said, bowing politely as changbin did the same.

“so, binnie,” you said, testing the new nickname (and judging by the blush on changbin’s face - you’d say he liked it), “how’s music production?”

“you remembered?”

“of course,” you teased, “what? you think i’m that rude?”

changbin chuckled, eating his french toast before answering your question, “well, it’s a lot of work.”

you nodded, swallowing your food, “same as fine art. who knew you had to work at uni, huh?”

changbin laughed, nodding, “exactly. i don’t think i’ve slept in a month.”

you nodded, “so how was the party? i’m sorry again i just... i can’t really handle things like that.”

“why’d you say yes then?” changbin chuckled, “also don’t worry. i’m sorry i didn’t explain.”

“explain what?”

“um... well... see the um– you know i said there was gonna be a band there?”

you nodded, “3racha. you were listening to them the other day.”

“oh. well, i am a member of 3racha.”

“changbin!”

“shh, shh, y/n, we’re in public you idiot!” changbin whisper-yelled.

you leaned forward, looking around in apology at the people in the restaurant who were now staring at you.

you smiled slightly, bowing before turning back to changbin, “why didn’t you tell me, idiot?!”

“sorry,” he chuckled, “i guess i just wanted to surprise you? it’s me and two other boys from music production, but we’ve been doing it for a while.”

“oh, so chan,” you guessed.

changbin clicked his fingers, “exactly.”

“who else? i don’t know anyone else doing music production, oh! apart from my friend jisung! but you two don’t seem like the sort of people who’d be fr—“

“oh? han jisung?”

you nodded, eyebrows furrowed, “yeah.”

“yes, him!” changbin laughed, “that’s incredible! are you two friends?!”

you nodded slowly, “i met him in the canteen at school.”

“wow, what a small world,” changbin chuckled, continuing to eat.

you nodded, still shocked that your dick sucking friend was in a band with the boy you were pretty sure you were falling in love with.

wait.

“so um, changbin, do you have any... significant person in your life?”

changbin snorted, “is that your way of asking me if i’m single? because i am.”

you nodded, “cool, cool.”

“you okay? you’ve gone all weird all of a sudden,” changbin laughed.

“no, no! i’m fine!” you chuckled nervously, “just fine.”

“jisung’s bisexual, isn’t he?” changbin checked.

“wh-what?”

“jisung. is he bi?”

“i- i don’t know,” you stuttered, “i– i know he suck– he likes boys! but i– um... i don’t know about the girls.”

changbin threw his head back in laughter, “don’t worry, y/n, i know he sucks dick.”

you laughed at changbin’s straightforward-ness, watching as he continued to eat his food.

“i don’t like boys y/n.”

you shut your eyes, “that’s not what i—“

“don’t worry, i’m not offended,” changbin chuckled, “but i knew that’s what you were thinking. guessing you don’t do hints though.”

you shook your head, “please tell me straight up because i think i’m the most clueless person i’ve ever met in my life.”

changbin laughed, sitting back once he’d finished his food, “okay then. y/n, i like you.”

your heart pounded as you chuckled nervously, “i like you too, changbin.”

there was a pause as changbin put down his knife and fork, sighing. you were scared you’d said something wrong.

“no. i like you, y/n,” changbin sighed, “as more than a friend. i get concerned about you when it’s cold. when you’re not on the bus, i get off and go and check if you were in school that day. i think about you all the time. i’ve started writing love songs since i met you, y/n. love songs! i have no idea how to write a love song! i invited you to see me because when i’m on stage, i’m not changbin, i’m spearb. but after a lot of thought and a little speech from chan and jisung, i decided that changbin should get to be happy and get to be with you. not spearb. and i’m sorry if this is gonna make it really weird but riding the bus is my favourite part of the day and it’s driving me insane that you don’t know the truth!”

changbin stopped and took a breath, looking up to see you smiling.

“idiot,” you chuckled, “i like you too changbin. now do you want the rest of my food, because i’ve already eaten breakfast and you need to eat to gain more muscle.”

changbin smiled, “stop saying yes to things that i ask you to do if you don’t wanna do them. but yes, i want your food.”

you laughed, watching as changbin took your plate and started eating your food, “so... what does this make u—“

“you’re my girlfriend,” changbin said, a mouthful of pancake, “and that’s something that your gonna have to deal with now.”

you laughed, pinching changbin’s chubby cheeks, “i suppose i could get used to that.”

14th of October, 2019 (09:14 on the 4316)

“good morning, handsome.”

“good morning, doll,” changbin smiled, taking your hand in his as you sat occupied the seat beside him.

you turned towards him, leaning your head on his broad shoulder, “i missed you.”

changbin chuckled, “ah so we’re that couple, are we?”

you looked up at him, “what? i did!”

changbin laughed, kissing your head, “i missed you too, doll.”

yep, you thought as you felt changbin tap a slight rhythm onto your hand, you could definitely get used to this.

#skz #skz imagines #skz scenarios #stray kids #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #skz blurbs #stray kids blurbs #jyp #jyp entertainment #seo changbin #seo changbin scenarios #seo changbin imagines #seo changbin blurbs #changbin fluff #seo changbin fluff

[rainydawgradioblog]

Interview: Guerilla Toss - 09/26 @ the Vera Project

Guerilla Toss is a NYC-based experimental rock / synthpop / psychedelic / post-funk / prog-whatever / everything in between band signed to DFA records who is currently touring all throughout the continental US. This past Saturday, before their show with Calvin Johnson and Behavior at the Vera Project, my friend Anna and I were graciously invited into their tour van decked out with psychedelic decorations to chat with vocalist Kassie Carlson and hang out with her internet-famous Chow-Chow Watley. Enjoy the interview and catch them in these cities in the coming weeks!

Elliott: Hey! Thanks for taking the time to talk to me! How are you doing?

Kassie: Good, good! Just got done with soundcheck.

Elliott: Cool! How far into your tour are you guys at this point?

Kassie: Not that far actually, we’ve only done four dates or something, but we drove out here.

Elliott: That’s a long drive.

Anna: You guys just did Salt Lake, right?

Kassie: Yup, Diabolical Records. We were just in Portland, then Vancouver, then here.

Elliott: Cool, enough talking like a normal person, I’m gonna ask you a bunch of convoluted questions now. First of all, this bill is kind of wild, Calvin Johnson is another one of my favorite artists. How did this show come together? Are you guys big K Records fans?

Calvin Johnson and band opening the show.

Kassie: Calvin actually played at our light and projections person’s record store in Macon, GA. So that’s how we made the connection, and Calvin was really interested in coming here!

Watley gets up and walks around.

Elliott: Hi Watley!

Kassie: Sit! Watley…

Elliott: Have you had any other particularly cool openers this tour so far, or in recent memory?

Kassie: Well, the other opener tonight is Behavior, a couple members of Wand, the drummer and guitarist, so I’m really excited about that!

Elliott: Nice, I just saw Wand open for Stereolab!

Kassie: Cool, yeah, it’s an epic bill.

Elliott: I’m excited! I also noticed last time I saw you guys, you busted out a violin which was a bit unexpected but really cool! Are there any other instruments members play that you would maybe want to use on Guerilla Toss stuff?

Kassie: I also recently got an OP-1, which has been cool to experiment with. There’s lots of sounds, and this guy Cuckoo on Patreon puts a lot of samples for the OP-1 online for super cheap, like you can buy stuff for a dollar. He always puts up new stuff, so I’ve been getting down that rabbit hole, but yeah! I’ll be playing it tonight, it should be fun!

Anna: That’s a difficult purchase to make these days! Those things are not easy to come by.

Kassie: Yeah, me and the drummer split it. And we got it on eBay or something, it was used.

Anna: Those things are great.

Elliott: I’ve also heard you guys like to do band hikes. I also interviewed your friends Palberta on Rainy Dawg a while ago…

Watley steps on voice recorder, and tries to get out of the van door.

Kassie: Watley!

Elliott: Haha! Anyway… Palberta told me they bring a rice cooker and camp every night on tour. Are there any other activities people typically forgo on tour that you like to make time for?

Kassie: Yeah, we just went to Moab on this tour, to the arches. It’s good to get out of the van and stretch your legs a bit. That was fun. It’s cool to drive around, sometimes there’s not time to do the hiking thing, but we took some days off this time around so we’re not in the car for 8 hours. It’s good for morale.

Anna: Moab especially, it’s so nice.

Kassie: Yeah I’d never been, so it was cool to make it out there.

Elliott: So, it feels lately like vocals being more forefront in recent material, that the music is driven more by lyrics and melody. I got into you guys via Gay Disco, but my favorite of yours is GT Ultra. It feels like my experience as a listen has changed a lot, you cover a lot of ground in that there’s different ways to enjoy Guerilla Toss as a listener. Do you feel like your writing process has significantly changed?

Kassie: Well we’ve mostly just been shifting things around and trying different things to keep it fresh. It’s lots of fun, yeah!

Elliott: And about writing stuff, I know you’re very into jamming, you improv a lot live. Does writing material ever come out of that?

Kassie: We mostly just improv between songs. They’re all through-composed, and all have parts that are pretty specific. Sometimes we’ll write songs by jamming for a few hours, but a lot of the time, say Peter (drummer) will come in with a part of a song, or a skeleton of a song, or even a full song, which is how it’s mostly been lately, and then I’ll put some vocals on it, and we’ll try different things, different instrumentation.

Anna: Are there any members that bring more in terms of song structure?

Kassie: Definitely Peter brings the most, but I do all the vocals, everyone does their respective parts.

Elliott: Cool! Do you have a particular favorite piece of gear? Anything that might have inspired a song or a moment in a song?

Kassie: Yeah, I have a red Boss V-20 vocal pedal, that I use a lot and I really like. I use it for harmonies, there’s chorus on there, there’s delay and reverb, harmonies and doubling. I feel like it just helps my voice feel a lot thicker and more present, you know. It gives me more control over my sound. A lot of the time in venues, especially DIY venues, it can get buried. And also I want to be more true to the recording, like in “Betty Dreams of Green Men,” there’s those harmonies that come in off and on, so I use the pedal to create that harmony.

Anna: And what you said about DIY shows, getting sounds that are accurate. Do you play a lot of stuff like that now?

Kassie: No, not as much lately. But even in bars and stuff, it can be tough. We don’t travel with a sound person, we’re not playing stadiums.

Anna: Is that a shift that you miss at all?

Kassie: Not really. I like being able to hear myself when I sing, so it doesn’t hurt my voice as much. Of course I love the vibe of DIY venues but there’s good things in the middle, where your friends from DIY shows will come, but it won’t get shut down, and we have money for gas and stuff like that.

Elliott: Gas money is definitely important.

Trucks passing by.

Kassie: Watley’s scared of the trucks…

Elliott: So I have a question that’s part fun fact, part question. Your Wikipedia page, where it says you encourage tapers at your show, it used to say you encouraged tapirs, like the weird little animal. It was a typo but it actually linked to the tapir page!

Kassie: Oh weird! I didn’t notice but that is sick.

Elliott: Yeah, someone actually linked it to the page!

Kassie: That’s awesome!

Elliott: So that got me thinking, there probably haven’t been many tapirs at Guerilla Toss shows, but I think it would be sick! What sort of animals would you want to see at a Guerilla Toss shows? Also, these hypothetical animals have all the hypothetical ear protection they need.

Kassie: A lot more chows! We also really like otters. We were talking a lot during our soundcheck about snails. So snails would be cool. Snails all over the place. But really animal would be interesting!

Anna: Species-inclusive venue!

Kassie: Yeah! Oh, and bison, Watley loves bison. A few cows. He loves cows, he’s always looking at me like “Mom, did you see that? Woah, look there’s cows!” Yeah, good boy!

Elliott: Does Watley have a favorite Guerilla Toss song? Is he gonna get a feature anytime soon?

Kassie: He might actually, yeah!

Anna: A bark sample, that must be fun to work with on the OP-1! 

Kassie: Yeah, that’s one of the many things that are on my to-do list for sure.

Elliott: Hell yeah, I’m stoked for that whenever it happens. You guys seem to have a lot of collabs, one-off releases, live albums, splits and stuff. Do you usually come into those thinking “we’re gonna write an album” or just a song, or working with somebody, or is your writing process usually the same for those?

Kassie: We usually just create a whole album, we only did that one split with the Sediment Club. The live album was a cool project, that was completely live, we recorded it in Nashville.

Elliott: You also have that remix album with Jay Glass Dubs?

Kassie: Oh yeah, that was just a DFA thing, he totally did that himself.

Elliott: Cool! So visuals are clearly an important part of Guerilla Toss, I was wondering if you look at these different forms of visuals in the same way, like do you tie in live projections, music videos, album art or do you view them separately?

Kassie: They’re kinda separate. Lots of different people do our album art. Keith Rankin did a few, the most recent one was by someone named Yu Maeda, and before that was Jacob van Loon, he did Twisted Crystal. And then GT Ultra is actually acid strips from the 70s.

Anna: That one was a particularly cool design. Do you mostly reach out to the artists to do the art?

Kassie: Thank you! And yeah, it’s usually something they already have done that we use, but a couple of the ones from Keith Rankin were commissions.

Elliott: Cool! So, I feel like your albums tend to have a coherent sonic palette, but they cover a lot of ground as far as the songs go. Do you come into recording an album with a bunch of songs you’ve written or do you write specifically for an album?

Kassie: I think Peter is pretty much always writing music, and we already have new music we’re working on for after What Would The Odd Do, so it’s just kind of a constant stream of stuff, lots of never-ending recording and never-ending writing.

Elliott: Cool, well I didn’t write anything else down.

Kassie: Alright! Any other random questions?

Elliott: Not that I can think of. I’m excited to see you guys play!

Kassie: Hell yeah!

Anna: Actually, I usually ask touring bands this. What kind of stuff have you been listening to on the way over?

Kassie: Oh all kinds of things! Listened to a little Battles.

Elliott: Oh nice! The new one, Juice B Crypts?

Kassie: All of the albums! I think it was a consensus that we liked the earlier albums better, but hey, that’s something people always say. I like it all! It’s pretty cool.

Elliott: Cool, well thank you for letting us in the van and talking with us!

Kassie: Of course! Can you unhook that leash?

Elliott: Sure!

Kassie: (to Watley) Let’s go pee!

- Elliott Hansen

#guerilla toss #dfa records

[hiken-no-stark]

NSFW Alphabet ··· Freddie Mercury // Rami Malek as Freddie Mercury

Ready Freddie? (    ͡°  ͜ʖ   ͡°) 

Thanks for all the love and support. I really appreciate it. I never thought to write  in english, pero son las vueltas que da la vida XD 

And thanks to the wonderful person that helped me again QwQ 

ENJOY!

Warning: NSFW

*Gif’s not mine*

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Freddie lays next to you and takes a breath, holding your hand. Then he kiss your knuckles and gets up from the bed. "I'll be right back, darling." He takes one of his fancy robes and disappears through the door. 

Five minutes later he reappears smiling. "Come on, your majesty. The bath is ready." He caress your cheek and carries you in his arms, wrapped in the sheets. 

Once in the bathroom, he helps you enter the bathtub. It’s full of bubbles and there’s a sweet fragrance floating through the room. 

He kneels next to the bathtub and caresses your shoulder "How is it?" "It would be better if you were in here with me." He laughs and takes off his robe. 

Freddie always puts you between his legs while he cleans your body with a sponge, singing softly in your ear.  

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of their partners)

Your whole body. 

He can't choose just one body part. 

Freddie loves all of you, head to toes.  

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)

Inside, outside. It doesn't matter.

He always surprise you. One day can be inside, another over your belly or breasts, in your mouth. Who knows?  

D = Dirty Secret

Freddie wants a threesome.

At the parties after gig he has seen some handsome men with whom he would like to share a bed, but he always refuses the idea for the sake of your relationship.  

E = Experience (How experienced are they?)

He has a lot of experience. You can be sure that he knows what he's doing.

F = Favourite Position

Doggystyle.

He loves seeing your ass bouncing against his hips. 

Also he feels more control this way, he can take the pace he wants.

He can be very sweet and kind with you, but in the bed he's a different person.

"Fredd!" You yell when he holds your hair in his fist. "Harder." You whimper holding the sheets around you. 

When your legs start to tremble he gives your ass a smack. "Come on, darling. Cum for me." 

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

He can't be totally serious, he make some jokes or random comments, making you laugh. 

But when he's focus in your pleasure he leaves the jokes aside, focussing on fucking you harder.  

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He has other things to worry about. The new album, the tour, the outfits.

He doesn't care about that. 

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect)

He lays you upside down on the bed and then he lays himself over you, holding his weight with his arms. He loves feel the warm of your body against him.

He caress all your body marking it with kisses and compliments, and, of course, a lot of "I love you”s. 

Freddie never tires of telling you how beautiful you are.  

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He does it a lot. When you aren't with him during tours, when you aren't in the mood, for teasing you or for turning you on.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Lingerie and strange attires.

He buys you a lot of clothes from every part of the world.

During tour he can see something he likes and immediately runs to buy it for you. 

He comes back home with a lot of shopping bags, some of things are for his cats, the others are souvenirs and (the most important of all in his mind) plenty of outfits for you, some of them more strange than others.  

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Every room of his mansion. 

The limousine. 

The recording studio.  

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

When he sees you in one of the outfits he bought for you. 

Sometimes after a gig you want him all for yourself, but he's busy attending his guests. So you run to your room and choose one of the outfits and walk down stairs looking for him.

You found him laughing with a group of people you don't know. When he stares at you, his laugh stops.

"How do I look, Fredd?" You smirk at him. His mouth stays open till he shakes his head and hold your waist approach you to his body. 

"Ok, everybody! Party is over!" He yells lifting his glass. "Everyone go home, hurry, hurry!"  

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Hurt you (physically or emotionally).

You're his treasure, his inspiration, his muse, his all. He can't risk losing you. 

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Both is good for him. 

In this case his favorite position is where you are over him sucking his cock and you put your ass in his face, so he can lick your pussy at the same time.  

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He can be slow, but he prefers sex fast and rough. 

He has a lot of stress on his shoulders and this is the best way to avoid it.

Needless to say, you are more than happy to help him relieve his stress this way. 

And you regret nothing even though you can't walk the next morning. 

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He likes quickies before a concert, during a party or in the backside of the limousine on the way to anywhere. 

But proper sex is always better, Freddie loves taking his time with you.  

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Freddie always wants to experiment with something new. He always appears in the room with a new idea in his head.

He is accustomed to other people judging his life, but he wants to keep you away of all that shit. So in public he behaves like a gentleman with you.  

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last)

He can continue till the dawn, obviously with little breaks for a drink or a cigarette. 

In your case, four rounds is more than enough. 

"Are you ready for more, darling?" Freddie appears by the door finishing his drink. "Darling?" 

Freddie can't help but smile when he sees that you're deeply asleep under the sheets. 

“Rest, my love.” He whispers and caresses your hair. 

T=Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He's got a big collection of sex toys.

Some for him and some for you.

At first you were a little embarrassed to use them, but Freddie guides you and you end up enjoying them a lot.  

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He loves teasing you to see how far you can go.

"You can't come yet, darling." He groan in your ear. "You don't deserve it."

"But-Fred." You whimper, biting your lip.

"But what, princess?" He smack your ass and increase his pace.

"Not yet." Freddie murmurs when he sees you trembling and squirm under him. "Not yet, (Y/N)."

"Fred-I can't." 

"Be a good girl and hold on."

"Please, please, please." He smirks and smack your ass again. 

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Freddie moans slightly, but always he tries to hold on to his moans, he prefers listen to you. 

Your voice is like music to him. 

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Between strange looks and murmurs the house empties.

"Right, darling." Freddie smiles at you and then kisses your neck.

You smirk and caress his hair, pleased that you were able to achieve your mission. 

A moan escapes your mouth when Freddie bites behind your ear. 

Then you push him to the couch and sit on his lap, starting to kiss him, while his hands caress all your body. 

Freddie removes his fancy jacket and starts to strip you, leaving only your underwear. Your hips begin to moving looking for some friction between you and him. 

"Fred, I lost my keys." Brian's voice sounds on the hallway. "Oh shit!" Brian cover his eyes. Quickly you grab Freddie's jacket and cover yourself. "I'm so sorry (Y/N)." He turns around while Freddie can't hold his laugh. "Forget it, I will break my window." Brian start to walk away for the hallway. 

"You can join if you want, darling!" Freddie yells, still laughing.  

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

A little bigger than the average. 

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Freddie prefers spending time with you doing other things. Teaching you how to play the piano, talking, writing a new song, shopping, fancy dinner, running around the house like a pair of kids. 

The both of you love dressing up in all his concert outfits and singing for the cats like a true gig, but this always ends with you two fucking on the couch. Like I said, he loves seeing you in strange attires.  

Z = ZZZ (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Freddie could stay awake just seeing you sleep. It’s one of his favorite hobbies.

He loves the way you look for him in your dreams, trying to stay close to his body.

Then he caresses your hair and sings softly.

Sooner or later, the fatigue wins, and he falls asleep holding you in his arms.

#rami malek #rami malek as freddie mercury #borhap movie #freddie mercury x reader #rami malek x reader

[sleepymarmot]

COUNTER/Weight liveblog, part 3

Finale +post-mortem

Am I glad to return to the political big picture! It's such a relief that the finale is in this format! Hopefully it won't devolve into another “fighting a giant robot” scene.

Oh, so the Chime are leading the faction game now! Somehow I completely missed the point of the two previous scenes that indicated Aria becoming the new leader of the Righteous Vanguard – I was very surprised and then 10 minutes later went “Oh that's what it was, time to go back and relisten”

Pronoun update: Austin consistently uses “they”, Art consistently uses “he”. End my suffering…

The sheer comedic impact of seven Makos, Larry and Lazer Ted all in a room together has healed my soul immediately. Can we end on this image so nothing bad happens

I'm so proud of Orth!! “I'm sorry, which one are you?” lmao

Oooh the relationship drama~ But how come Jacqui didn't know Jill was alive? Actually, now that I think of it, back then it was clearly said that Jacqui knows Jillian is back and is sad because Jillian doesn't remember her. This show's retcons…

Look I know shit must hit the fan pretty soon but for now this finale is just. So relaxing. I'm having a lot of fun listening to these squabbles. (The only exception were Mako and Orth – boys, stop fighting, why!)

That Cass & Aria scene was cool but please don't give me world leader old friends sneaking away for secret stress relief sparring sessions when I'm not supposed to start shipping them

Oh hell yeah, I was hoping that since Jacqui went with Jillian, Aria would go with Ibex. (Not very relevant here, but Ibex is from Kesh like Maryland, right? If so, there must be fanart of young Ibex and Maryland in 19th century outfits?)

Stop cryptically saying oh Sokrates isn't here, oh they aren't using their candidate name, like what's up with them?! Are they doing well? I'm worried!

Oh Orth wants to dance with Ibex huh *eyes emoji* Rematch! Rematch!

“I'll take anything” “Anything?” My mind, of course, autocompletes “Then perish”

THIS WAS A LOT and I need to take a couple of minutes to start breathing normally again. Also there just has to be a lovingly drawn fanart adaptation of this entire scene (in, like, fukcing Leyendecker style), come on fandom please say someone has done it

Jacq/Jill continuing with the heartbreaking scenes, I see

Mako doesn't like dancing now…… holy shit this is the most upsetting ball ever… (The cynical part of me must say that it's only Austin who talks about this connection, Keith doesn't and still sounds way less emotional about the whole thing than the others assume Mako to be)

I amend my previous statement, I also need fanart with snapshots of every dance: Orth firmly taking Ibex's hand and receiving a surprised but approving look, Jillian throwing her head back in laughter and Jacqui watching with a pained smile, sullen Mako leaning on a wall cross-armed and looking for an opportunity to slip away, Cass dropping his one-liner with a completely dispassionate face.

Wow Ibex is really getting ready for death. Sounds as if he knows the exact date.

HOLY SHIT THE DIVINES' ORIGIN STORY!!! FINALLY!!! I'm surprised they were all created by the same person…

I'm relieved Mako and Orth are on good terms again!

I love the new Aria as this competent politician who does a lot of swordfighting and dealing with old flames

Have I mentioned I really love the game they're playing? It almost synthesizes the best parts of the game they played previously – as if it was written just for this finale. It's so great how this show and specifically this campaign go through so many games, showing the universe and the characters from different angles, instead of having them be defined by only one game system and its limitations and quirks.

That's some real good mech if it can function for 80,000 years, Divines' body or not!

Okay, I fucking knew Liberty and Discovery would split up at some point (which is what I meant above by my expectations for AuDy's fate), but why is Liberty attacking Ibex?

Mako's robots!!! :DDD Now that's the real finale shit!

I CAN'T BELIEVE Keith missed Tower's brief appearance of all things. It's like a fucking scene from the show on the level of dramatic irony. They were truly not meant to be, even the universe in real life is saying that. Do you ever get rejected so badly that the guy you like runs away from you at the prom, and then lets you fall into a deadly portal with the rest of your planet, and then you get brainwashed, and then you are killed by an ally of that guy, and the person playing him doesn't even witness that?!

I thought Orth was going to challenge Kobus about Liberty…

“I have Liberty contained” *winces*

Every time it is asked what is Mako wearing I just mentally pull out the popcorn

“I welcome anyone to tell Cass that AuDy is a non-person”

Let me restate how much I'm loving how the scenes that in any other show would be minor fluff or short summaries in an epilogue are a legit fully rendered part of the finale

Sokrates & Orth reunion please!!

Aw Ted! It never occured to me that this comic relief character has, in fact, lost his entire planet and almost everyone he knows.

…I think I like Apokine Cass more than Chime Cass

That's a big lore dump holy cow! I'm glad Apostolosians are ex-humans after all, but I wonder how they turned into fish people

So what happened to the idea of Mako hacking Grace?

They just… went and straight up murdered two Divines… If it had happened early in the show I'd probably cheer, and no tears were shed for Grace, but Liberty… Just take a third of another player character and drive it into a sun…

Of course. I knew Sokrates is the kind of character who dies nobly in a grand finale.

I've spent all this time wondering how the piece of Voice in Mako doesn't get infected by Rigor, and it seems to finally happen and Larry seems to die repairing it, but what about all other Makos, aren't they in danger too?

This is way too easy so far, just sacrifice NPCs one by one to win.

This whole time I was assuming Mako saved as many clones as he could, not just his own… If he gets another turn I bet it's submit or die :/

Hello I'm crying over Lazer Ted! Choices in the campaign sound futile now: who cares which guy Mako saved – they both died anyway! All named NPCs did!

Except for Jacqui. Congratulations, the NPC Who Lived! (I mistyped “loved” at first, which is also relevant. And yes, I cried here too.)

How the hell would falling into a sun kill Rigor if it was previously not killed by a bomb that destroys hundreds of suns?

Poor Cass… Not only sacrificing yourself in such a difficult way, but to have a final conversation only just to learn that your friend, a passionate revolutionary further empowered by Righteousness, has deserted… The sheer contempt and disappointment he pours in just three words “Ibex told you”...

Welp. Mako's fate was not tragic like I feared! Good news I guess, but it's still kind of sad. And I think the saddest part is that Mako himself doesn't realize. Because it can just sound like the natural continuation of his character growth – after he had to learn to be the responsible one first in contrast to Larry and then to the other Makos. But it's not that, or not just that, and it's kind of chilling to hear that he never knows it, and never knows peace.

Executive Joie, oh my… It's so strange and cool how Aria somehow continues the legacy of Jace and Ibex at once.

The race is over. It's so strange that now there are no consequences to fear or spoilers to avoid.

I didn't like the final battle as much as the rest of the finale – I hoped for a more clever solution than just throwing bodies at the enemy (but I guess the intro warned me lol…). Especially since these bodies had very unequal impact – I'm not going to care about Diego Rose or Chet Wise or Orth's newly-created lieutenants or as much as I care about Jacqui -- so it felt unfair towards players/characters who had more important or likeable chracters in their faction. I'm opposed on principle to making the big confrontation feel important and emotional just by killing off characters (hi, J. K. Rowling and Russo brothers), I think it's cheap and emotionally manipulative, but in this case the emotional manipulation doesn't even work so it’s doubly disappointing.

If someone's reading this, you can see that what I expected or wanted from the story was not what it gave me, and that was frustrating or disappointing at times. But nevertheless, it was a wild ride.

I've slept on it and it still fucks me up that out of the Chime only Aria gets a genuinely happy ending! Cass is fucking dead, Liberty is dead while AuDy becomes a ghost, and Mako loses everyone and is lonely for the rest of his life!

It's so strange to listen to the opening theme in the post-mortem and think that this is the second-to-last time. (Relistens don't count, it's not the same thing.) By the way, I love that theme – it sounds like a half song with the words on the tip of my tongue, like space, or like city at night. Really atmospheric.

I love how everyone continues to be into that moment where Aria has the opportunity to kill Cass lol (I am too)

Yeah, thanks for reminding me about that coin toss moment for Kobus in the finale, that was so sudden and shocking I was completely losing it for the long few seconds it lasted

I'm glad someone asked whether Jack knew the Big Spoiler in advance – he was so calm about it in the following episodes that I started wondering

Oh so it wasn't my imagination that the players needed the comic relief of the Lazer Ted episode no less than the characters

After a sad talk about Mako's dead friends, Andi, cheerfully: “I love to kill and I love to hurt and I never regretted anything I ever did! :D” which won the least surprising comment of the hour award lol. Honestly, after that one scene with Diego I started to get a bit nervous whenever Andi announced they had an idea… C/w was fun because I now realize the cinnamon roll Aubrey was actually them playing against type.

I love that someone asked about Mako's first kiss and/or Orth's fandom life!!

Keith's answer is sad, though… He “had literally never considered Mako even being capable of kissing someone, like it wasn't something on the table” and that was unexpected to me. I'd mentioned several times that he sounded reluctant to play up the romance, but I was assuming it was the player's preference, not an innate trait of the character whose attraction to someone was a part of his character creation. How do I interpret it? Mako is aro? Mako never had a chance to properly grow emotionally because his youth was fake and for the rest of his life, all emotional connections were sabotaged by Rigour's shadow, and also literally all his potential love interests died? Ugh, I just keep making myself more and more upset.

Holy shit I forgot about Art asking if there's an old Apostolosian mech on September by any chance lmao

Cene always knew?! Holy shit w h a t

It's nice to hear Ali talk about her growth in confidence as a player because she's definitely kind of an inspiration – for years I've thought tabletop roleplaying is too intense and I'll never do it, but when I finally tried out it was not so scary, so maybe there's hope for me too!

The concept that the real challenge of the final battle was that the easier it would be to defeat Rigor, the worse shape would the world be afterwards sounds much better than what that battle actually felt like to me. Instead of paying for victory with the health of society and their faction's political power, in the actual gameplay they paid with NPCs from their circle and that was it; the political consequences came later and sounded entirely unrelated. Maybe if they had to go against their faction's goals or sacrifice its assets – e.g. “use Minerva's Rigor-tech mechs in exchange for the promise to leave them alone afterwards” instead of “sacrifice all Mako clones”… Aria had something similar with Weight, but it was the price of Jacqui's life, not the price of a victorious battle against Rigour.

It's very cool to learn where the sound effects in the theme come from! And god, every line as its own take? My head hurts just imagining that…

Austin getting distracted by the idea of fucking Rigor was hilarious, but I never, ever want to hear the word “daddy” in this context! What's with these jokes this season, ew, please stop.

Excuse me, Ali wanted to kiss Ibex as who exactly, Jace or Aria? Both options are equally crazy!

See, “You wanna say ‘Oh he was just doing what was necessary, he was just doing the thing that's good in the end’, and yeah that's him working on you” is exactly why he reminds me of Dukat! Literally the same mind game on the viewers/listeners!

Why is the link broken, I want to see AuDy in Titanfall!

Listening to team “Fuck Ibex!” and team “Fuck Ibex ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)” yell at each other is very entertaining

“Nobody on the Kingdom Come is cishet” is a nice sentiment but I'm kind of confused by which definition of cis Cass is not. Have I missed something about them changing pronouns in-universe? Just because English doesn't have exact analogies for the Apostolosian pronouns doesn't mean everyone who uses them isn't following their own society's conventions. And now Austin also's saying “We never wanted to say these pronouns are equivalent to gender” which is, a, not true, and b, sends the whole problem back to square one – because if that's not the Apostolosian gender then what is? This! Is! A! Mess!

#friends at the table #blah blah blah

[kpfconfessions]

Eric Nam in Concert: St. Paul, Minnesota

Pre-Concert

Both my friend LisNuna and I were thrilled to see Eric Nam touring and it was even better to see that he was coming somewhere remotely close to us. LisNuna and I are from Winnipeg, Manitoba which if you don’t know is right smack dab in the middle of Canada. Which ultimately means we don’t get a lot of action on the Kpop front… if any at all! (LisaNuna: Yeah, like absolutely zero lol) In most cases the closest stops are either Chicago or Toronto which both require some time off as well as plane ticket, and hotel. This time however, we found that Eric Nam was playing at a theatre in St. Paul which was only a 6 hours drive away! (Some might think this is far but if you have the right playlist, good company and some great podcasts the time flies!) When planning this trip my fiancé ended up jumping on board as we love shopping (and eating) in Minneapolis. I managed to encourage him to join since he’s a Korean-Canadian and I thought that he would find it worthwhile to support an Asian North American. To give you some context my fiancé isn’t exactly into Kpop but outside of the genre we share similar music taste so I thought this wasn’t far from what he liked.

We kicked off our trip in Minneapolis the first night with K-BBQ at Hoban (This is pretty much why my fiancé and I love coming back so much). (If you’re in or around Minneapolis be sure to check it out! https://hobankoreanbbq.com/ ) The next day was filled with shopping before we arrived at the Palace Theatre -- we were pleasantly surprised by the large line-up. LisNuna: The general admission tickets were for the floor and standing only. So if you wanted anywhere close to the stage you would have had to be there early. Checking out some of the IG posts after the show, I really admire those fans that stood in line right from early morning to get in a good position. Dedication, thy name is NamNation.

During the Concert

Even though we were on the balcony the seats were great, far more intimate than other Kpop concerts we’ve been to due to the venue. It was fun to watch people in the first half, the crowd was in general young but it was nice to see our section had a mix of ages and genders. LisNuna: Exactly! It was pretty diverse. Todoke speculated before the show that the one combo we probably wouldn’t see would be a group of male fans coming by themselves. But low and behold, in our section alone I saw 2 different groups of guys attending together. More bro-night-out’s should include kpop. The world would be a happier place, for real.

The most amusing part was a Dad who came with his Daughter that sat behind us. He was enthusiastic about the experience and was quick to talk with others about what concerts they’ve been to and which his Daughter is planning to see next. The whole time I’m sure the poor girl was hoping her Dad would just shut up, but it was incredibly endearing! The opening act was Frenship who I had actually listened to before and they didn’t disappoint. They did some stripped down songs and were easy to please the crowd. I think if people weren’t aware of them before their performance they certainly were now! Check out my favourite song by them Capsize:

By the time Eric Nam came out the crowd was ready and going wild. It was a different feeling from the other concerts I’ve been to since it wasn’t so much about the video screens and special effects but there was something more genuine and raw about it. Most of the show Eric was either on stage performing with just his mic or a handful of backup dancers and to keep a crowd thoroughly entertained with just that is a feat in my books!

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I think this concert had a little something for everyone, even the people who were there for others like significant others and parents. (Eric even made a crack at the fact he knew there were people like this in the audience). If anything I would say Eric is a showman from his singing, to his dancing and of course his banter. I know by the time the concert was through my fiancé had turned a fan and was surprised at how much he enjoyed it. (Even the Dad behind us was cheering and exclaiming how good he was throughout the night!)

Eric sang almost every one of my favourite tracks (only a few oldies excluded) and it was amazing to hear him change it up a little bit proving how good he is live. LisNuna: Our throats were just gone by the end of the show lol. We pretty much sang every lyric to every song. There also may or may not have been an attempt at the “Can’t Help Myself” hola hand dance choreo. It warmed my heart when he thanked the crowd for making a difference by attending a concert like his. I truly hope attending shows like this do make a difference because artists like Eric Nam are so deserving of success in their home country as well as others. I think my two favourite songs of the night were Love Die Young (my favourite from his most recent album) and Don’t Call Me which was such a bop live. (Pretty sure it’s also my fiancé’s new favourite song).

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Post Concert

The next day the three of us were off back home and it put a smile on our faces when my Fiancé asked us to listen to Eric Nam on the way home. He couldn’t stop talking about how impressed he was and that it was one of the best concerts he’d seen. That in itself felt like a win to me and hopefully he’ll consider going to another Kpop concert with me in the future! (LisNuna: We’re officially Kpop missionaries!) If Eric Nam ever returns I know I’ll be more than willing to see him again and I hope his fan base grows so he can get even bigger venues (even though I adored the intimacy of this show). I think he’s only solidified bigger fans in Lisa and I! (LisNuna: 100% agreed!) Has anyone else checked out his tour? Tell me about it below!

#eric nam #kpop #before we begin tour #music #2020 #concert

[eddiebrock]

harry potter!!!!

YOU ARE THE BEST, THANK U

Top 5 favourite characters: Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger, Lily (Evans) Potter, Sirius Black, Harry Potter, Minerva McGonagall (that’s six but fuck it)Other characters you like: Dorcas freaking Meadowes (who is actually a favorite but since she’s literally only mentioned once I felt weird putting her in the Top 5 but I want all of u to know that I would die for Doe), James FREAKING Potter, Hagrid, Luna Lovegood, Remus Lupin, Newt Scamander, Tina Goldstein, Narcissa Malfoy, Alice Longbottom, Kingsley Shacklebolt, and the Weasley TwinsLeast favourite characters: Umbridge, Snape, fucking Vernon & Petunia, Dudley, Otps: JILY, Hinny, Tedromeda!!!!!!!, Newt/Tina, Dorcas/Reginald (the rarest of all rarepairs lmao), Fralice, Jacob/QueenieNotps: please don’t send me any anon hate for this lmao i can’t deal, Dra*mione, Dra*rry, Wolf*star (I HAVE MY REASONS), SNILY, apparently snamione and snarry are a thing???? so that’s fucking gross, Regulus/Sirius, CarrowcestFavourite friendships: Ron and Harry, Harry and Hermione, Ginny and Hermione!!!!!!!!!!, Luna and Ginny, James and Sirius, Lily and Remus, Newt and Jacob, Dorcas and Mary, Dorcas and Alice, Ginny and Neville, Neville and Luna, Kingsley and Remus, and like way 2 many more

Favourite family: The Potters and the Weasleys!!!Favourite episodes moment: ‘Humph,’ snorted Professor McGonagall. ‘It’s high time your grandmother learned to be proud of the grandson she’s got, rather than the one she thinks she ought to have – particularly after what happened at the Ministry.’Favourite season/book/movie: I think the third book was probably my favorite book, but Deathly Hallows Pt. 2 my favorite movie (despite some stupid shit that happened)Favourite quotes: i have way, way, WAY too many favorite quotes to list them all, so i’m just gonna put down my favorite under-appreciated quote because i’ve never seen anyone talk about it, but in the cursed child when draco is like “mY sOn Is MiSsInG” and ginny fucking potter gets up in his face and screams “SO IS MINE” and i just???? ugh, man. S O    I S    M I N E. ginny is the bestBest musical moment: Dumbledore’s Farewell & S T A T U E S are two of the most powerful music moments in the entire franchise, sue me, and the only reason i say statues and not Courtyard Apocalypse is because of the absolute masterful cinematography that went along with the song Statues and how the sound was really MADE for that moment, i will fight everyone on thisMoment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: returning back to statues scene because honestly, ‘Hogwarts is threatened!’ shouted Professor McGonagall. ‘Man the boundaries, protect us, do your duty to our school!’ gets me EVERY TIMEWhen it really disappointed you: not a single canonical bisexual Saddest moment: “Does it hurt?“ The childish question had escaped Harry’s lips before he could stop it. “Dying? Not at all,” said Sirius. “Quicker and easier than falling asleep.” / harry listening to his own parents die during the cursed child Most well done character death: fuck dude, definitely fred’s because till my dying fucking day i will never forget the phrase “the ghost of his last laugh still etched upon his face”Favourite guest star: Dorcas Meadowes counts as a guest star because she’s only mentioned one (1) time and I literally named my dog after herFavourite cast member: Emma Watson (but also Daniel Radcliffe)Character you wish was still alive: Sirius Black One thing you hope really happens: I want Seraphina Piquery to get 100000x more screentime, she is a badass bitch and I could really use some woc American presidentst in my life, also make her BISEXUALMost shocking twist: honestly, snape killing dumbledore. like i know that’s a big joke now like SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE, but man, i remember reading it and just about shitting myself because i could not fucking believe it. also the whole “the elder wanda ctually belonged to draco but then i disarmed draco so it belonged to me but voldemort thought it belonged to snape so,” was WILDWhen did you start watching/reading?: a little over 10 yrs ago or somethingBest animal/creature: B O W T R U C K L E SFavourite location: godric’s hollow, and it’s because of the way it was staged for the cursed child (i talk more about it later on in this massive meme answer lol)Trope you wish they would stop using: it’s not a trope but i’m gonna harp on this again, there is not a single canon bisexual One thing this show/book/film does better than others: fucks up my entire world in less than a second. but in all seriousness, this whole franchise has such a way of touching that piece of nostalgia, and family and love and all these wonderful things that make me and many others feel so warm and safe. it has such an important and underlying positive message to it and i really just don’t think anything else in the world has touched so many people in such a massive and important way like harry potter has. plus, according to an actual scientific study, people who have read harry potter tend to be better human beings, so there’s that, tooFunniest moments: “There’s no need to call me sir, professor.” / “Have a biscuit, Potter.”Couple you would like to see: Newt and Tina!!! Seraphina and another woman!!!!!!Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: Imogen Poots!!!!!!!!!! but that has a 0% chance of happening, so Maisie Williams and Natalie DormerFavourite outfit: seraphina’s crazy cool outfits and hermione’s sweater in the woods in deathly hallows pt. 1 (but in the books, hermione’s perriwinkle yule ball gown)Favourite item: the invisibility cloak for sure, but also harry’s glassesDo you own anything related to this show/book/film?: the sheer audacity of this question…….. the ability to even list it all is……….. unfathomableWhat house/team/group/friendship group/family/race etc would you be in?: GRYFFINDORMost boring plotline: the entire lavender/ron stint Most laughably bad moment: voldemort trying to hug draco lolBest flashback/flashfoward if any: it’s not really a flashback, but in the cursed child, when they go back in time to the night james and lily died, i can’t remember if the script talked about this but on stage, lily (WHO WAS APPROPRIATELY AGED) took baby harry in a stroller out of the house and there were pumpkins and all sorts of cute halloween decorations all around, and it was peaceful and quiet and when they got out the door she was cooing and talking to harry and making all these cute funny faces at him, and i literally could not keep it together. shortly thereafter, when harry’s gone back in time too, on stage they’re all standing there as voldemort walks off the stage and harry’s forced to listen to his parents die. i’ve never wept so much in my entire life. it was so good. Most layered character: i think narcissa malfoy, probably, if not albus dumbledore, who isn’t the most popular character around but face it, the guy’s got layersMost one dimensional character: umbridge, her only dimension is Evil and i’m ok with it staying that wayScariest moment: fucking basiliskGrossest moment: fucking aragogBest looking male: percival graves probably lmao colin farrell is fine as fuckBest looking female: obviously hermione grangerWho you’re crushing on (if any): i always have a crush on ginny and hermioneFavourite cast moment: that time when they’re wrapping up the final movie, and they’re watching this memories video while they were all still in costume, and emma started crying and daniel hugged her and it was just the cutest thing i’ve ever seen and i still cry, also all of them crying and hugging jk rowling at the premiere of dhp2Favourite transportation: definitely broomsticksMost beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): deathly hallows part 2 where they’re putting up the protective spells over hogwarts, and it’s got all the colours in that enormous shield and it just brings tears to my eyesUnanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you: WHY ARE JAMES AND LILY PORTRAYED BY REASONABLY PARENTAL-AGED PEOPLE??? THEY DIED WHEN THEY WERE 21 AND EVERYONE DESERVESTO KNOW HOW FUCKING SAD THAT IS, also what the fuck happened to the real percival graves??? is he dead??? do i get to see colin farrell come back as a good guy at any point????Best promo: i will never forget the day that the audio from the SDCC trailer for deathly hallows part 1 came out, and all you could hear was kingsley shacklebolt saying “the ministry has fallen. the minister of magic is dead. they are coming.” and i just remember sitting at my old desk and whispering “oh my god!!!!! oh my god!!!!!!” and playing the audio over and over again and that was like. magicalAt what point did you fall in love with this show/book: “Mr and Mrs Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.”

#ask meme #meerareeed #julie #hp #about me #this was Crazy

[ingridgovaninsights]

The Charlotte Chapters- Part 2

Fast forward three years…

Now I am nineteen. A lot has changed, but mostly silly little things- I keep my hair long now, I have a “real” job, I occasionally go out on dates. Life is pretty good. I started to go to college. It wasn’t great, but I felt happy I was doing something productive with my life and continuing to learn.

Elliott and I are still pretty good friends. We’ve made tons of memories- he got his license as soon as he was old enough, and we always just went out on adventures. Our signature thing was going for coffee. And it wasn’t like a typical activity- we would spend hours and hours in the coffee shop, talking about anything. Just random things. And we’d go for drives- long drives out in the country because it was so peaceful. We enjoyed showing each other songs and playing them over the BlueTooth- singing along and relating to the lyrics.

He was honestly the best friend I’d ever had. But that’s about as far as it went.

I knew Elliott was interested- he would flirt, he would sometimes share how I made him feel. And I’m too nice of a person to simply turn someone down, especially when that person is my best friend. He did know I didn’t feel the same way- but hey, you can’t tell someone how to feel.

That was the year that I met Ross. He was the stereotypical good looking guy, at least in my opinion. Bright blue eyes, a chiseled jawline even… he took great care of his hair. Not to mention he played guitar. I was smitten. What college-aged girl could resist pursuing someone so promising?

In hindsight, I know that looks aren’t everything… they’re far from that. I wish I’d dug a little more deeper when making my decisions.

We met each other at the college’s “video game club”, as if I wasn’t enough of a nerd. I hadn’t made any friends yet, so I anxiously went on my own; I remember being quite proud of myself.

For such a geeky club, there were a lot of people that decided to join. There were probably thirty or thirty-five people gathered around, mostly in small groups chatting about video games, I assumed. The demographic was mostly male… I was probably one of the ten or so females.

I noticed Ross because he was also standing awkwardly by himself. He was on his phone- or at least pretending to be on his phone- in the far corner of the room. His brown hair fell down over his eyes. How could he see like that?

When he looked up from his phone, he noticed me. I don’t think I would have approached him- I’m not the type to do that. I probably would have endured the evening alone, and then I likely would have never gone back. But Ross boldly made his way over to me, where I stood right by the door in case I needed to escape in a moment of panic.

“Hey,” he greeted me, grinning an extremely handsome grin, “you a new student?”

“I am,” I said a bit shyly. “I’m guessing you are, too.”

“Yeah. Wanted to kinda at least try to be a little social, you know?”

Oh, I knew. I had to put on a persona for a while, see if I could fit in anywhere, and once I realized it was just going to be like highschool all over again I could retreat to doing my own thing peacefully- at least then I could say I tried.

“This club seems silly,” I said. “Why does everyone take these games so seriously? Like, we’re talking about Mario Party here.”

Ross smirked. “You’re funny. Hey, do you want to leave this place and maybe go for a coffee or something? On me.”

He certainly knew how to make good first impressions.

***

Somehow things progressed. We had a great first “date”, if you’d call it that. We chatted about lots of interesting things, and we got to know one another. You know how first dates work. I was extremely awkward, but apparently he found that to be cute. We got along really well- probably because I so easily agreed with everything he said- but really, for the longest time we never had any arguments.

He took a pretty busy college program, which didn’t allow him for a lot of free time. This was probably our first “bump in the road”. And I suppose when I reflect on it now, this is where it all went wrong.

A few months into our “too good to be true” relationship, I texted Ross asking if we could hang out. I hadn’t seen him at all in a week, and he only lived five minutes away. In my mind, it didn’t make sense to me. If he had homework, couldn’t we do it together? That’s a coupley thing. Sort of.

Can’t… I said I don’t have time right now, He texted back. Maybe next weekend.

This really bothered me- two weeks without seeing my boyfriend? I understand in a lot of cases this is perfectly fine… when someone is on a trip, when you’re living long-distance for whatever reason… in that case, the time apart is expected. But I didn’t sign up for this, not when we went to the same college and our houses were practically within spitting distance.

I honestly can’t say he was entirely to blame, because instead of voicing my opinion, I responded simply with a “K”. It’s passive aggressive and doesn’t exactly allow for constructive conversation. What was I expecting him to say to that? Ross left it at “K”, and we held in that anger, that frustration.

For a while, it was fine. I could live with some rocky times, some space from my partner. But what I couldn’t live with were the bottled up emotions- I was still mad about the fact that my needs weren’t being met. And whose problem was that, exactly? Ross was never there, but at the same time, I could have just spoken up.

But I’m not sure it would have made a difference- when my uncle Sam passed away, Ross was absent and clueless about how to help me. I remember we were sitting in my backyard, drinking iced tea and watching Youtube videos, when my mother interrupted our good times to announce the terrible news.

“Charlotte, sweetie, I’m so sorry,” Mom said, looking at me with tears in her eyes.

Uncle Sam and I had never been overly close, but I always found we had a lot in common- he was a foodie, a thinker, he loved to read, and he barely talked to anyone. Whenever we did spend time together I felt like I could just be myself, and he admired that. I’d like to think relatives don’t pick favorites, but I’m fairly certain I was his favorite.

I wasn’t sure how to respond. I was mostly shocked, initially, so no tears came. But I rested my head on Ross’s shoulder, in an attempt for consolation, and I’ll never forget the disappointment he brought me.

He got up. As he rose my head slid off his shoulder. As soon as my mother left, that is. He brushed off his jeans, flicked his hair to the side coolly. Checked the time on his phone.

“I have to get going,” Ross told me.

And then he went home.

His discomfort with the situation was more important at the time than my grieving over my dead relative. How selfish does a person have to be to think that way?

But then again, in the end I was the one being called selfish.

***

Losing my uncle was really hard on me. Never in my life had I lost someone close to me other than my grandmother, and that was when I was quite young and it’s difficult to remember. But at nineteen years old, I was old enough and mature enough to understand that Uncle Sam really wasn’t coming back, and all those things I wanted to talk to him about were never going to be a conversation.

I didn’t have many people I could talk to. My family I suppose was an option- but I didn’t want to talk about Uncle Sam to Uncle Sam’s brother (my dad). That would probably just make my father more emotional than he already was. And if I told my mother or my sister, they would relay it to my father… so regardless, it would make more people upset than necessary.

I figured going to a third party would be the best, most unbiased approach. Elliott was still around. We often still went for coffee, and spent time together, but for the most part we had our separate lives. I texted him to visit my apartment so we could have a couple beers and play some board games, catch up a bit.

I never meant for anything to be interpreted as more than that. Two good friends having a games night, chatting about what’s new in our lives.

Elliott pulled open the box of Monopoly, and I cracked open a beer. It was one of those “craft beers”- far better than a simple Budweiser or a Coors Light. At the time I felt pretty sophisticated. Pathetic…

I offered one to Elliott, and he waved it off. “Got any coffee?”

Many people, except maybe night workers and other weirdos out there, would not drink coffee at eight in the evening. It just seemed like a backwards thing to do. But Elliott and I could agree that coffee didn’t have an effect on us anymore anyways, it was just another tasty drink. A hot cup of coffee, now that was cozy anytime of the day.

I got up from my place on the couch to turn on the coffee maker. A random thought, but out of the corner of my eye I always thought my coffee maker looked like Darth Vader.

Sometimes I got bored living alone in my apartment, and my imagination went wild.

There was a catchy tune playing on the radio. In fact, I recognized it was by The Tragically Hip. Elliott was a pretty big fan of the band. I didn’t know the particular song, though… but the lyrics were rather interesting.

Hey there coffee girl

Beautiful and disaffected

It was perfect ‘till

He came along and wrecked it

One night he’ll make you choose

I’m sorry, but he will

The hardscape or your shoes

When the moon’s behind the hill

It sort of resonated with me- one night he’ll make you choose. I turned up the volume, kind of looked to see if Elliott noticed the song playing. As I predicted, he was looking back at me.

“I’ve been meaning to show you this song,” he said. “You listen to the lyrics?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I can kinda relate.”

I placed the filter, scooped in a few piles of dark roast, and pressed start. I really liked the sound of the machine starting up. It was peaceful to me. It meant coziness was coming.

While waiting for the coffee, I sat back down beside Elliott and we started the game. I wanted to be the hat, he wanted to be the car. My beer was good- this one had a slight citrusy taste to it. A little bit of a pop to my taste buds.

I realized for the first time in a while, I was having a really good time. Why was it that I could have this much fun with my friends, but I couldn’t find enjoyment like that with Ross? Maybe part of the problem was that I hardly saw him… but who knows.

I missed my friends. And I didn’t have a lot of them. But when I started dating Ross I started to forget who I was as an individual. I mean, I knew deep down, but it kind of got lost in the confusion that was “us”. We did things together, or not at all. I stopped seeing friends. Ross didn’t make me stop seeing friends, let me make that clear… but he wasn’t exactly an encourager of free spirit.

Spending time with Elliott made me think about all the good times I was possibly missing out on- I used to love going shopping with Alexis, I always had a blast playing video games with Brad, Mike, and Brock. But I think somewhere along the line that became “forbidden”... why would someone in a happy, loving relationship spend so much time with guy friends? Well, that logic used to make sense in my mind…

“So why did you want to hang out tonight?” Elliott finally asked me. “Everything okay?”

It was a fair question- I didn’t ask to hang out nearly as much anymore. If we did, it was strictly for coffee for maybe an hour. That was it. He had reasonable inquiries.

I moved my little top hat over five spaces. I think the coffee was ready. “You know, Elliott, maybe I just wanted to see you. Wanted to see how you were doing. I mean, things aren’t so well on my end.”

In hindsight, maybe it was a cry for help. I still wasn’t over the death of my uncle; my family was grieving; I was struggling with anxiety every day; and to make matters worse my romantic relationship was failing. That one person that was supposed to love you and be there for you unconditionally, had so many conditions. And I knew that just wasn’t right. So why didn’t I leave?

“So talk to me- what’s going on?” Elliott asked. I could see concern in his eyes.

“Well as you know, my uncle died a couple months ago. And I know we were never that close, but I kind of wish we had been. I really looked up to him. And you know, I just wish Ross would sit and listen to me sometimes. Not just talk about basic everyday shit… I want him to listen when I tell him about something emotional, something deeper than books or videogames or the weather. But he just isn’t around.”

Elliott kind of raised his eyebrows as if to say, I’m not surprised, but he didn’t say as much. He simply said, “uh-huh,” waiting for me to go on.

I was on my second beer now, and being the lightweight that I am, I was already a little buzzed. Buzzed enough where I was just comfortable and light, so I could talk about anything on my mind.

“I missed hanging out with you,” I confessed. “ I miss having friends, and having fun. I don’t like feeling so… trapped. I don’t understand why I can’t get out; it’s not like I’m under lock and key or some shit.”

“I don’t know either,” Elliott mumbled. He got up and started towards the Darth Vader coffee machine. Fixed himself a tall mug. It was one of my favorite mugs- it had cats all over it.

At some point I realized I had drank too much. I knew I was in good hands, but I had taken it too far. Drinking felt good, though. For me at least, it gave me this euphoric feeling. I felt like I could do anything, or say anything, and I’d be happy. And why would being happy be an unhealthy thing?

I’d also had a couple of coolers- some funky lime flavored ones. Who knows? I really enjoyed anything with the flavor of lime. Mexican food with a wedge of lime squeezed over top, some flavored sparkling water, you name it. Lime flavored coolers? Great!

I mean, I wasn’t drinking too much in the sense that it would have some serious adverse effects, but it was probably my choice of drinks that was unfavorable. Apparently sugary, fruity coolers didn’t agree with my stomach.

We’d played almost a full game of Monopoly, and now we were on to video games. I don’t think Elliott even liked video games, but hey, it was nice of him to pretend to be having fun. I think we were playing Super Smash Brothers or something like that. I suddenly had to vomit.

I tried to stand up and the room spun around me. My stomach churned.

“I’m going to be sick,” I mumbled, clumsily trying to make my way towards the washroom.

Elliott quickly got up to help me. He guided me to the washroom, as a decent friend- a decent human being- would do for someone in need. I leaned into him for support. We were almost there.

What’s funny is that we were ninety-five percent of the way there- we were in the doorway of the washroom- when I threw up. Elliott jumped out of the way. I had spaghetti that night. There were chewed up, spewed up noodles on the cheap bathroom floor. After vomiting I stumbled and fell against the bathtub. Elliott watched from the doorway; I think he was a little frightened.

I was fine- those particular coolers just didn’t sit well with me. It felt a lot better to expel them from my system. I slowly got myself up off the ground, and latched onto Elliott’s arm for balance. I recall him saying he was going to put me to bed now. I would be more comfortable.

I lay down in bed and Elliott put the blankets over me. I rolled onto my side and vomited once more, then went to sleep. Elliott went home.

That is honestly the story. Honest to God.

So why do stories get mixed up in our minds? And why do we allow others to do that to us? When I retell this story, to anyone, I have to convince myself that I did not sin here. I have to force myself to believe that I am still a decent human being. Why? I know the story. Elliott knows the story. I never would have cheated on Ross.

But you’d be surprised at how well words can get twisted sometimes.

#the charlotte chapters #short story #novella #novel #writing #writing blog #the hip #tragically hip #song lyrics #young adult fiction #realistic fiction #creative writing #mental health #anxiety #mental illness #life #love #friendship #poetry #writing project

[writerspink]

K-12 Words

K

dry wet shoe ten long stay yellow watch inch cup time words same six bones black child ear most page work white five arms snow main nine water head eggs rain test seven root law fall cow red doctor baby feet room rule one blue dark legs wind skin ball green two ever car body box orange gave door four europe picture wish purple ready try neck brown through sky grass air sign whether dance pink eight drive too sat gray three hit man love hand the of and a to in is you that it he was for on are as with his they I at be this have from or had by but not what all were we when your can said there use an each which she do how their if will up other about out many then them these so some her would make like him into has look more write go see number no way could people my than first been called who oil sit now find down day did get come made may part

1.1

anything syllables past describe winter even also eleven moon fruit sand apple women nose solve Math problem plus minus equals stone pants shirt starry thousand divided just train shall held short lay dictionary twelve suddenly mind race clothes learn picked probably raised finished end plaid years bill place hundred different drop came river milk beautiful square lake hole fingers flat sea type over new sound take only little work know live me back give most very after things our name good sentence man think say great where help through much before line right too means old any same tell boy follow want show around form three small

1.2

interest job because such think thirteen subject answer letter meet north length need times divide (by) times table edge soft months present energy point sound log south wide members exercise flowers set found things heart cause site brother teacher live read billion another distance written kept direction developed wall east happy million world must house turn west change well twenty felt put end does large big even here why ask went men land different home us move try kind hand picture again off dress play spell air away animal page mother study still learn should America

2.1

paragraph weather window third believe discovered simple gone paint new store form cells matter follow perhaps cannot good means around line center kind reason move forest sentence return instruments beside represent wild study back farmers sum difference product quotient remainder mother animal land region record summer general caterpillar scratch modern adjust passenger promise equal creak almost croak book dainty song high every near add food between own below country plant last school father keep tree never start city earth eyes light thought head under story saw left don’t few while along might close something seem next hard open example begin life always those both paper together got group often run

2.2

misty poor caution pest phrase life startle squirm alone centaur rise mountain above illustrator footprint temperature decorate country sweat sometimes hair smiled everything began thick compass themselves enough took although splendid crowded second act attach sly talk wonder let’s whirl someone Africa borrow beat belong blink per fasten pain begin drenched bed shell free earth tiny slippery count factors important until children side feet car mile night walk white sea grow river four carry state once book hear stop without late miss idea eat face watch far Indian real almost let girl mountains cut young soon list song being leave family it’s

3.1

drowsy bashful hatch glad copy possible wicked grin sibling shovel run verb sail polish ride young steep case Indian laughed soil appear bolts costume melody narrow behave howl example flee together lot filthy alarm spiral selfish idea conductor fight rolled middle glacier tree dizzy gather sneaky already construct every miss lively metal couldn’t gold plant mask chat nation hear either bundle section near rescue face divide sob celebrate family loosen jealous crash chimney daily own cozy ripe cut son natural serious carry care paper broken cue within body music color stand questions fish area mark horse birds problem complete room knew since ever piece told usually didn’t friends easy heard order red door sure become top ship across today during short better best however low hours black products happened whole measure remember early waves reached

3.2

being instead ache exactly hard speed buy age late artistic close affordable fraction eyes appetite complain sleep seem eat below remove rusty grow glum stormy trust enormous scale open add grab upset weed denied expensive story terrified lead jumped died basket side bear bend list tomb while batch grateful father gleaming dress light sprinkle amount exclaim result yank leave cheat whimper angle outside remain heap champion surprise dodge moment fancy squeeze pretend village shriek city thunder rapid iron striped don’t attitude bell hat tug isn’t applause children honest cross spring freezing listen wind rock space covered fast several hold himself toward five step morning passed vowel true hundred against pattern numeral table north expert slowly money map farm pulled draw voice seen cold cried plan notice south sing war ground fall king town I’ll unit figure certain field travel wood fire upon

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pattern cave hope mile group travel blush killed seed bottom hide important let ticket timid pounds restart silent cranky keep real bright quite curved repeat trip without dart consonant mountains quiet apologize roar grip groan bolt food injury century exhausted cabin atmosphere floor it’s scold transportation delighted giant hill something build fog method rough left everyone obey deserve speak therefore soon french switch until pushed state knob hobby between surround collect fire I’ll arrive road happened certain top order astronomy inches club catch farm nibble color yourself received connect told gaze check wear English half ten fly gave box finally wait correct oh quickly person became shown minutes strong verb stars front feel fact street decided contain course surface produce building ocean class note nothing rest carefully scientists inside wheels stay green known island week less machine base ago stood

4.2

round award crowd slowly yet products, goods, services vowel himself strange whose draw team hold feel flood sent save stood yard notice warn enemy deep please flap coast music wrote safe blast behind island lizard figure famous garden correct whisper listen joined clear share net thus calf maybe cried piece fold seen england decided bank fell pair control clean telescope trouble glass float morning horse produce course hunting rest step statement contain shouted filled zigzag accident cents instrument fly single express visit desert seeds chew dome experiment break gravity against branch size low plane system ran boat game force brought understand warm common bring explain dry though language shape thousands yes equation government heat full hot check object am rule among noun power cannot able six dark ball material special heavy fine circle include built

5.1

mark wealthy row feeling across attention ran map students inside design art mouth ring skill hot during shelter full till log (book) blossom discard bring quickly scientists party town covered wise early cram grain harm goal pause inform heal clue fame freeze badge pimple dim missionary diet dumb rod march agree stick government bulb mall ban greed skiing poison stove image grew fact material dangerous flow gap ago stack explain didn’t strong voice true drawing surface gift corner cloud since king dawn pulled dozen friends greedy burning upon knew insect decimal nervous pay foot weak smooth aware steady serve lost nonetheless beach front atlas questions less cost slight motor banner wire area carefully separate equation local minutes fast table plan fine waves fair sing dive suppose boat thousands shape among toward gas factory birds wait understand sure ship report captain human game history reflect special brave bounce though else can’t matter square syllables perhaps bill felt suddenly test direction center farmers ready anything divided general energy subject Europe moon region return believe dance members picked simple cells paint mind love cause rain exercise eggs train blue wish drop developed window difference distance heart site sum summer wall forest probably

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include cage language base red brain building feast better built demolish excess leap tower ocean plains cold claw information scholar climbed woman worry strand heavy herd common ground damp pack choose president least increase half english invent class measure dash tremble object become doubt became bare wheels continued shiver engine core couple business stars week peak numeral brought nothing touch reached uncle symbols however rumor evening inasmuch (as) force curious heat career system valley dust flock spray robber practice lonely remember luxury warm heard calm rock frighten leader difficulty best gum cheer key support universe stream bit usually fish parade balance money note cliff stand proof you’re pale machine complete cool shown street today shy easy several search unit war power caught settle itself fuel mention fresh planet plane straight period person able direct space wood seal field circle lady board besides hours passed known whole similar underline main winter wide written length reason kept interest arms brother race present beautiful store job edge past sign record finished discovered wild happy beside gone sky grass million west lay weather root instruments meet third months paragraph raised represent soft whether clothes flowers shall teacher held describe drive appreciate structure visible artificial

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afraid absorb british seat fear stretched furniture sight oxygen coward rope clever yellow albeit confess passage france fan cattle spot explore rather active death effect mine create wash printed process origin rose swift woe planets doze gasp chief perform triumph value substances tone score predict property movement harsh tube settled defend reverse ancient blood sharp border fierce plunge consider terms vision intend total schedule attract average intelligent corn dead southern glide supply convince send continent brief mural symbol crew chance suffix habit insects entered nursery especially spread drift major fig diagram guess wit sugar predator science necessary moisture park ordeal nectar fortunate flutter gun forward globe misery molecules arctic won’t actually addition washington cling rare lie steel pastime soldiers chill accordingly capital prevent solution greek sensitive electric agreed thin provide indicate northern volunteer sell tied triangle action opposite shoulder imitate steer wander except match cross speak solve appear metal son either ice sleep village factors result jumped snow ride care floor hill pushed baby buy century outside everything tall already instead phrase soil bed copy free hope spring case laughed nation quite type themselves temperature bright lead everyone method section lake iron within dictionary bargain loyal resource struggle vary capture exclaim gloomy insist restless shallow shatter talent atmosphere brilliant endure glance precious unite certain clasp depart journey observe superb treasure wisdom

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prepared journey trade delicate arrived track cotton hoe furnish exciting view grasp level branches privilege limit wrong enable ability various moreover spoil starve dollars digest advice sense accuse pretty wasn’t industry adopt loyal suggested blow treasure cook adjective doesn’t wings tools crops loud smell frail wisdom fit expect ahead lifted deed device weight gradual respect interesting arrange particular compound examine cable climate division individual talent fatal entire advantage opponent wouldn’t elements column custom enjoy grace theory suitable wife shoes determine allow marsh workers difficult repeated thrill position born distant revive magnificent shop sir army struggled deal plural rich rhythm rely poem company string locate church mystify elegant led actual responsible japanese huge fun meat observe swim office chart avoid factories block called experience win crumple brilliant located pole bought conditions sister details primary survey truck recall disease radio rate scatter decay signal approach launch hair age amount scale pounds although per broken moment tiny possible gold milk quiet natural lot stone act build middle speed count consonant someone sail rolled bear wonder smiled angle fraction Africa killed melody bottom trip hole poor let’s fight surprise French died beat exactly remain fingers clever coast explore imitate pierce rare symbol triumph ancient cling disturb expose perform remote timid bashful brief compete consider delightful honor reflex remark brink chill conquer fortunate fury intend pattern vibrant wit

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capture remark western outcome risk current bold compare resident ambition arrest furthermore desire confuse accurate disclose considerable contribute calculate baggage literacy noble era benefit orchard shabby content precious manufacture dusk afford assist demonstrate instant concentrate sturdy severe blend vacant weary carefree host limb pointless prepare inspire shallow chamber vast ease attentive source frantic lack recent distress basic permit threat analyze distract meadow mistrust jagged prefer sole envy hail reduce arena tour annual apparent recognize captivity burrow proceed develop humble resist peculiar response communicate circular variety frequent reveal essential disaster plead mature appropriate attractive request congratulate address destructive fragile modest attempt tradition ancestor focus flexible conclude venture impact generosity routine tragic crafty furious blossom concern ascend awkward master queasy release portion plentiful alert heroic extraordinary frontier descend invisible coax entrance capable peer terror mock outstanding valiant typical competition hardship entertain eager limp survive tidy antonym duplicate abolish approach approve glory magnificent meek prompt revive watchful wreckage audible consume glide origin prevent punctuate representative scorn stout woe arch authentic clarify declare grant grave opponent valid yearn admirable automatic devotion distant dreary exhaust kindle predict separation stunt

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evade debate dedicate budge available miniature petrify pasture banquet pedestrian solitary decline reassure nonchalant exhibit realistic exert abuse dictate minor monarch concept character strategy soar beverage tropical withdraw challenge kin navigate purchase reliable mischief solo combine vivid aroma spurt illuminate narrator retain excavate avalanche preserve suspend accomplish exasperate obsolete occasion myth reign sparse gorge intense revert antagonist talon aggressive alternate retire cautiously blizzard require endanger luxurious senseless portable sever compensate companion visual immense slither guardian compassion escalate detect protagonist oasis altitude assume seldom courteous absurd edible identical pardon approximate taunt achievement homonym hearty convert wilderness industrious sluggish thrifty deprive independent bland confident anxious astound numerous resemble route access jubilation saunter hazy impressive document moral crave gigantic bungle prefix summit overthrow perish visible translate comply intercept feeble exult compose negative suffocate frigid synonym appeal dominate deplete abundant economy desperate diligent commend boycott jovial onset burden fixture objective siege barrier conceive formal inquire penalize picturesque predator privilege slumber advantage ambition defiant fearsome imply merit negotiate purify revoke wretched absorb amateur channel elegant grace inspect lame tiresome tranquil boast eloquent glisten ideal infectious invest locate ripple sufficient uproar

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apprehensive dialogue prejudice marvel eligible accommodate arrogant distinct knack deposit liberate cumulative consequence strive salvage chronological unique vow concise influence lure poverty priority legislation significant conserve verdict leisure erupt beacon stationary generate provoke efficient campaign paraphrase swarm adhere eerie mere mimic deteriorate literal preliminary solar soothe expanse ignite verge recount apparel terrain ample quest composure majority collide prominent duration pursue innovation omniscient resolute unruly optimist restrain agony convenient constant prosper elaborate genre retrieve exploit continuous dissolve dwell persecute abandon meager elude rural retaliate primitive remote blunder propel vital designate cultivate loathe consent drastic fuse maximum negotiate barren transform conspicuous possess allegiance beneficial former factor deluge vibrant intimidate idiom dense awe rigorous manipulate transport discretion hostile clarity arid parody boisterous capacity massive prosecute declare stifle remorse refuge predicament treacherous inevitable ingenious plummet adapt monotonous accumulate reinforce extract reluctant vacate hazardous inept diminish domestic linger context excel cancel distribute document fragile myth reject scuffle solitary temporary veteran assault convert dispute impressive justify misleading numerous productive shrewd strategy villain bluff cautious consist despise haven miniature monarch obstacle postpone straggle vivid aggressive associate deceive emigrate flexible glamour hazy luxurious mishap overwhelm span blemish blunt capable conclude detect fatigue festive hospitality nomad supreme

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exclude civic compact painstaking supplement habitat leeway minute hoax contaminate likeness migration commentary extinct tangible originate urban unanimous subordinate collaborate obstacle esteem encounter futile cordial trait improvises superior exaggerate anticipate cope evolve eclipse dissent anguish subsequent sanctuary formulates makeshift controversy diversity terminate precise equivalent pamper prior potential obnoxious radiant predatory presume permanent pending simultaneously tamper supervise perceived vicious patronize trickle stodgy rant oration preview species poised perturb vista wince yearn persist shirk status tragedy trivial snare vindictive wrath recede peevish rupture unscathed random toxic void orthodox subtle resume sequel upright wary overwhelm perjury uncertainty prowess utmost throb pluck pique vengeance pelt urgent substantial robust sullen retort ponder whim saga sham reprimand vocation assimilate dub defect accord embark desist dialect chastise banter inaugurate ovation barter muse blasé stamina atrocity deter principal liberal epoch preposterous advocate audacious dispatch incense deplore institute deceptive component subside spontaneous bonanza ultimate wrangle clarify hindrance irascible plausible profound infinite accomplish apparent capacity civilian conceal duplicate keen provoke spurt undoing vast withdraw barrier calculate compose considerable deputy industrious jolt loot rejoice reliable senseless shrivel alternate demolish energetic enforce feat hearty mature observant primary resign strive verdict brisk cherish considerate displace downfall estimate humiliate identical improper poll soothe vicinity abolish appeal brittle condemn descend dictator expand famine portable prey thrifty visual

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stance vie instill exceptional avail strident formidable rebuke enhance benign perspective tedious aloof encroach memoir mien desolate inventive prodigy staple stint fallacy grope vilify recur assail tirade antics recourse clad jurisdiction caption pseudonym reception humane ornate sage ungainly overt sedative amiss convey connoisseur rational enigma fortify servile fastidious contagious elite disgruntled eccentric pioneer abet luminous era sleek serene proficient rue articulate awry pungent wage deploy anarchy culminate inventory commemorate muster adept durable foreboding lucrative modify authority transition confiscate pivotal analogy avid flair ferret decree voracious imperative grapple deface augment shackle legendary trepidation discern glut cache endeavor attribute phenomenon balmy bizarre gullible loll rankle decipher sublime rubble renounce porous turbulent heritage hover pithy allot minimize agile renown fend revenue versa gaunt haven dire doctrine intricate conservative exotic facilitate bountiful cite panorama swelter foster indifferent millennium gingerly conscientious intervene mercenary citadel obviously rely supportive sympathy weakling atmosphere decay gradual impact noticeable recede stability variation approximately astronomical calculation criterion diameter evaluate orbit sphere agricultural decline disorder identify probable thrive expected widespread bulletin contribution diversity enlist intercept operation recruit survival abruptly ally collide confident conflict protective taunt adaptation dormant forage frigid hibernate insulate export glisten influence landscape native plantation restore urge blare connection errand exchange

9.2

feasible teem pang vice tycoon succumb capacious onslaught excerpt eventful forfeit crusade tract haggard susceptible exemplify ardent crucial excruciating embargo disdain apprehend surpass sporadic flustered languish conventional disposition theme plunder ignore project complaint title dramatic delivery litter experimental clinic arrogance preparation remind atomic occasional conscious deny maturity closure stressed translator animate observation physical further gently registration suppress combination amazing constructive allied poetry passion ecstasy mystery cheerful contribution spirit failed gummy commerce prove disagreement raid consume embarrass preference migrant devour encouragement quote mythology destined destination illuminating struggle accent ungrateful giggle approval confidence expose scientist operation superstitious emergency manners absolutely swallow readily mutual bound crisp orient stress sort stare comfort verbal heel challenging advertisement envious sex scar astonish basis accuracy enviable alliance specific chef embarrassed counter tolerable sympathetic gradually vanish informative amaze royal furry insist jealousy simplify quiver collaborate dedicated flexible function mimic obstacle technique archaeologist fragment historian intact preserve reconstruct remnant commence deed exaggeration heroic impress pose saunter wring astound concealed inquisitive interpret perplexed precise reconsider suspicious anticipation defy entitled neutral outspoken reserved sought equal absorb affect circulate conserve cycle necessity seep barren expression meaningful plume focused genius perspective prospect stunned superb transition assume guarantee nominate

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install reticent corroborate regretfully strength murder concise cunning intention holy satire query confused progression disillusion background mundane abrupt multiple enormously introduce emulate harmful pragmatic pity rebut liberate enthusiastic elucidate camaraderie disparage nature creep profitability impression racist sobriety occupy autonomy currently amiable reiterate reproduce cripple modest offer atom provincial augment ungratefully expansion yield rashly allude immigration silence epitome exacerbate somber avid dispute vindicate collaborate manufacturer embellish superficial propaganda incompetent objective diminish statistics endure ambivalent perpetuate illuminate phenomenon exasperate originality restrict anxiety anthropology circumstances aesthetic manufacturing conventional dubious vulnerable reality precedent entity success term critical repair underscore stepmother republican hesitantly classic wary contents prediction immediate invoke notorious implicit excluding input skeptical foster element punish frank humanity profound dessert orthodox substance disappear encourage neighborhood elder superfluous naive ascertain complacent resilient deafening military tend prudent glare acceptance skillfully induce monster beam gullible conciliate vessel petty cantankerous disclose archaeology anecdote disdain electronics substantiate subjective tourism advisable joyful incredible provocative psychological ruins discipline condone indifferent misfortune judgmental industrialize tasty assume astute mission mar protective definitely escape oppress shocked virtual zealous endorse qualification hostile eccentric abstract disparate geographical scrutinize generalization tolerate activity claim dogmatic influential obsolete extol implausible subsequent resource chronic benevolent improve confidential ambiguous seriously dearth perplex hatred throughout dine contemporary evoke essentially economic flagrant obscure alleviate eloquent dreaadful clumsy sympathy victim condemn vigor condescend spontaneous quell reprehensible substantially sleeve equivocal ironic decry errand articulate progressive eradicate refreshments elicit aspiration recently exemplary bribery theoretical disingenuous partisan revere particle nostalgia self-aggrandizement debunk tyranny rhetoric hierarchy warning whimsical venerate commend assert miserable awful vibe constrain undermine explicit differentiate compliment scrupulous contempt erroneous ideal refute imply cynical rash presume insight revival vary delay renounce indignant offensive temperate circumstantial export peep logo advertise suppress distort chunk convoluted denounce overwhelming fertility rigorous acquire arrogant university antagonize profitable indulgent strategic breathing idiosyncrasy profession frugal discern accommodation adversary incredulous disturbance digress social belie roam smug continual pertinent voluntarily elite subtle blame sincerity lick horror censure involvement candid infer futile impetuous exploit bewilder sustain diligent sincere protect sealed musical empathy callous parenthetical insure acorn sarcasm seize sacrificially allege emphatic irrelevant progress diplomatic stunned improvise deride reconcile meticulous deject scientifically incontrovertible pressure justify gloomy depict supplant endurance analogous diary bolster slip contemplate pesticide glow religious advocate negligent creator lament fundamental embrace throne inherent inferior valuable thrive trivial pretense reserved capricious refresh refusal flight boost explanation coherent prevalent tenacious official royalty assassin rub poach delete

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warrant circumscribed somewhat explosive optimistic mandate previously detract opinion intuitive feasible intimate persistent humble simplicity tempt deliberate painful unethical fundamentals discrepancy remorse pessimistic possibility conclusion acknowledge impregnate soberly creation paralyze suitability oblige tranquil medal arbitrate pacify illusory susceptible vibrate vengeance infection democratic stressful grave speculative sample identification stifle obligation revenge organization namely mediocre practical scream weaken consensus affectionate deficient treacherous console isolation ingenious memory melodrama despair awestruck composition regret recommendation celebrity decision devoid opaque ornamentation longevity participate dread restore interrogate aid accordingly mislead embarrassment optimism domestic apt funds virtue geography fundamentally thoroughly press despite horrible chilling rental esteemed disappointment innovative contemplation assign popularize haunt deafen serene percent estrangement suffer extravagant throng estimate comment priesthood mass dreadfully promote periphery animated saying relate clarity triple derivative succeed distortion register suicide improvement discreet inquisition probable curative incident praise convenience baffle covet dreadful genuinely weary undisturbed disgruntled humility renown nonchalant monopoly comedy vague decisive inconsequential announcement fabricated nevertheless vigilant scarce neglectful hushed attainment tedious explode snatch pslm agency sentimental tension adhere meanwhile sacred avert conformity likewise challenger accessible responsibility peril contact event roast fallible catastrophic competitor violate resolute deceive exaggeration discredit intolerable approve paste dimly novelist demeanor norm politician satisfaction obvious vehicle reservation defer involve restoration crush audible assistant backpack attain inanimate commemorate confrontation emigration parasite disperse quantitative laughter policy vulgar occasionally repay effective eulogy starvation empty therapeutic overall immortal encompass inappropriate opportune engagement illustrate turmoil observatory classification expression reminiscence comedian invention depress remedy protagonist gesture texture diplomatic election prolong conducive emotional invigorate curiosity expressive %

K-12 Words was originally published on PinkWrite

[helmes-deep]

Quickie LONG UPDATE!! (on my life lol)

I FINALLY GOT THE RESULTS BACK FROM A $300 teachers’ test and I PASSED WOOOOOOOOOOT HAHAHA I’M SO HAPPY $300 NOT WASTED LOL *CRIES*

Well, at least for my state. Who knows if I’ll ever have to take that horrendous thing again should I ever choose to move to another state or get back into the teaching profession after having left for a bit... Granted, I didn’t get the score I think I was truly capable of (I totally last-minuted this whole thing and stayed up for 72+ hours finishing it lol PLEASE PLEASE DON’T EVER BE LIKE ME AND PUT YOURSELF IN A POSITION WHERE YOU HAVE TO STAY AWAKE FOR 3 DAYS STRAIGHT TO FINISH A FINAL THAT IS MY LIFE ADVICE), but I did pass it based on the score required by my state, so I honestly couldn’t be any happier. All that’s standing between me and getting a real job now is waiting for my university to finally award me my degree in a few weeks so that I can apply for a teacher’s certificate and finally get to do what I can’t wait to start doing again – teaching!! 🌠 💖 😄

In other news, I actually survived! and completed!! my student teaching; it all actually officially ended in the middle of last month. After my student teaching ended, I focused on finishing up final tests/projects (including that $300 test) before graduating with a bachelor’s degree in English Education from my uni about 2 weeks ago. Since then, I’ve been applying for jobs and hoping for an offer soon, hopefully at a high school!! Thinking back over my college experience, I wouldn’t say it’s been a really “crazy” four years (except for this year LOL. Man, these past two semesters were WILD and took SO MUCH out of me. I still get super-exhausted thinking about how I got through my student teaching N E V E R  A G A I N HAHA :V). I’ve never been the group’s social butterfly, even though I highly crave social interaction and approval/feedback (not in a desperate sense, but I know I’m the type of person that needs social interaction in order to thrive, even if I might not be the one to initiate it). I have, however, learned a little about a lot of things, especially during this past year and semester LOL AGAIN: N E V E R  A G A I N HAHA :VVV and especially, I think, in regard to myself. As a teacher, I’ve learned that I suck at classroom management. I’m just way too laissez faire, which comes off as “too nice” and therefore just allows any group of your regular hormonal and rebellious-leaning teenagers to go bonkers and take over my class lawl. Hopefully that changes *very* soon once I get my own classroom (and I’m working on it!!), but looking back, I suppose I could have been a bit more firm about keeping my presence (it also doesn’t help that I’m like 5′3″ lol!!). As a general person, I have also learned that I SUCK at making and keeping social discourse lol. Like, not just suck at it, but suckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk haha. First, not having a phone really makes it hard to make or keep in touch with any friends that a person intends to make. With a lack of a personal device or one of your basic social media accounts, I realized how hard it was to maintain a social network within a very digitally-connected world. Second, I realized that I’m probably a lot more cautious, super-conscious, introverted, and a bit inexperienced than I perhaps originally thought I was. Like, if I was in high school, I recognized that I would probably have been the super-quiet kid who would have had a lot of trouble making friends in class. I then realized that a lot of these previously mentioned personality quirks were probably a part of what was keeping me from fostering more intimate relationships or developing a more leader-driven personality, which sometimes heavily affected my classroom management. I’m not saying I necessarily need to change as a person, but I do believe I need to find ways in which I can become more involved and confident. Ironically, I thought it was interesting to note that a lot of my personality was – though not intentionally – perhaps keeping me from finding that deeper social interaction that I previously mentioned craving.

All that being said, I am fairly proud of how far I’ve come and how much I’ve accomplished this year as a student teacher, especially considering this was my first time taking over a class (3, actually!!) after having never really been inside a high school since I was homeschooled from 7th to 12th grade. I am, however, really proud of how I tried as much as I could to put the students with whom I was working with first, including incorporating their interests and academic needs/desires. I know my experience as a student teacher was not perfect, but I am very glad I got to work through all the challenges that came with and almost die doing it. I’ve also definitely found a bit of who I want to be as a future teacher. I know I want to be someone who is able to successfully make the classroom a place where my students can experience relevant life issues through writing or reading, and if nothing else, that had made this entire experience totally worth it.

... Which brings me to the future of this blog haha. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll be as active on Tumblr as I was before :c For one thing, I realized over the course of this year that Tumblr was definitely taking up way too much of my life lol (literally took me hours to get through 24+ hours’ worth of posts, and I was only following like 300 blogs). Being a bit OCD, I don’t like breaking my Tumblr cycle and only shuffling through a random number posts, despite the fact that I can’t be up 24/7 lol; I just don’t like not getting the full picture on everything and acting on/reblogging things without all of the complete info. As a result, I would rather not break my 24/7+ Tumblr cycle than to start it again at all :c Secondly, I’m kind of sad to say that, as of recently, I haven’t been keeping up with K-pop as much as I used to. It’s not that I’ve necessarily lost interest in it (K-pop is still like 85% of what I listen to lol), but I certainly haven’t been keeping up with it as closely as I used to. For instance, I have no idea what’s going on with B1A4 right now, haven’t watched BTS’s new self-made MV for “Spine Breaker,” and haven’t gotten around to watching the last teaser for SEVENTEEN’s upcoming ALONE?? comeback (featuring our wonderful leader S.Coups :p). It’s not that I’ve completely dropped everything K-pop or have become totally disinterested; I still very much keep up with the latest comebacks and listen to whatever piques my interest. It’s just that I don’t know if I want to get so re-invested with all of the details surrounding K-pop again (tbh Tumblr gave me so much info on my favorite K-pop groups; I seriously regret missing all of the amazing shots of my biases’ beautiful faces that I’ve probably missed leol), or maybe I just need a good break from it all before starting again. Most likely, I’d say my small distance from my favorite pastime has mostly happened because I now have more things to do or think about atm haha, and just don’t really have any time right now to enjoy all of the K-dynamics that are happening behind the music. I don’t think I’ll ever give up listening to K-pop anytime soon though; like I’ve said before, I’m still very much keeping up with and enjoying whatever’s coming out right now.

Sooooo at this point, I’m not sure if I want to say I’m on a complete permanent indefinite hiatus yet. I still check Tumblr and my blog everyday – every now and then my dash – so it’s not like I feel like I’ve completely left Tumblr and the K-pop community on here as a whole... just yet :3 I have, however, thought about starting a side-blog that focuses solely on teaching, including my student teaching experience. I’ve also thought about writing some K-pop articles for this blog again... (I still really want to write that “Best K-pop Songs of 2016,” a review of B1A4′s third full LP, and/or similar pieces). Whether either of those musings will come into fruition over this passing summer, I don’t know yet, but I’ll keep you updated on either if I ever do, especially my educationally-focused blog. Aside from those thoughts, I’ve been planning on doing some extensive reading over the summer – with a goal to read a book a week! If any of you are interested and would like to check out what I’m currently reading and/or think about it, you can take a look at my Goodreads account here. Other than that, I’ve just been up to the usual: still practicing driving (hopefully I’ll get my license this summer!!), looking for a job, and chilling by watching some TV/movies :p (literally, when you become a teacher, EVERYTHING YOU WATCH BECOMES A POSSIBLE TEACHING TOOL WHERE YOU WONDER IF/HOW YOU COULD USE IT IN A CLASS HAHA. I’VE BEEN SPENDING MY BREAK WATCHING THE HARRY POTTER MOVIES AND I NOW PAY MORE ATTENTION TO HOW THE TEACHERS REACT TO ALL OF THE KIDS’ SHENANIGANS VS. HOW I WOULD PAY MORE ATTENTION TO THE MAIN CHARACTERS AS A KID LOL. I’d really love to be a Professor McGonagall or Snape someday :p). So as far as the current activity of this blog goes, I think I’m going to keep it at “temporary-hiatus-because-I’m-currently-in-a-heavy-transition-period-and-still-am-very-unsure-of-how-this-will-all-pan-out??” That sounds like it’ll do for now. I definitely don’t think I want to distance myself from Tumblr just yet, but at the same time, I don’t believe I’ll be able to be as involved with everything on it as I once was :ccc

Lastly, I’d like to thank everyone who’s stayed with me and this blog so far. With this current announcement, feel free to unfollow this blog if it is no longer what you require in your daily re-bloggin’ life; I completely understand and only wish you the very best~ 🌸 :3 I don’t have a lot of followers as a whole, but I do have a handful of very lovely and precious people that I’ve met on this site; you know who you are~  💖🌠🦄✨👌 Sorry for not keeping in more constant touch; I hope all of you and your beyond-wonderful blogs are doing well~ 💎🌟😊 For those of you who have just joined my blog – WELCOME, and I hope you enjoy your stay~  ❤️ On another note, I should probably get to all those things I was tagged in... if it’s not too late haha. I love y’all and hope nothing but the BEST awaits your future!!~

Snap that was really A LOT more than just a “quickie” update haha. I know that I probably should have updated on everything that’s been happening in my life much sooner, but honestly, I didn’t feel like anything merited me getting too excited about getting through this school year unless I had 100% confirmation that I had passed the $300 test lol (it’s called the edTPA btw, for anyone who might be curious :p). Without passing that test, I probably would have had to spend at least another $100 to re-take some parts of the test, which would have delayed my being able to apply for an eligible teacher’s certificate in my state, which would have dangerously hindered me from being able to teach at all. So thanks for your patience – both for reading this post and sticking around this blog long enough to see me write it :p Hopefully I’ll get a teaching position and figure this all out soon; until then, I’ll definitely keep y’all posted~!! ✨

#wow I said more than just a little... haha #if you've made it this far #you're the best 💗 :33 #thanks for everything #also as a sidenote: #NONE OF YOUR TEACHERS HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THEY'RE DOING LOLOL #WE'RE ALL JUST BLUFFING IT HAHA #AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT I DID ALL YEAR LOL RIP TT>TT TT>TT TT>TT #PRAY I GET IT SOMEDAY XD #personal

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Kids, Monsters, D&D, and Adults (Sriracha, Part. 18)

Description: A problematic college student gets the worst summer job of the ‘83 - Jim Hopper, the Chief of police in your hometown will have you as his secretary since his old lady Flo has two months lasting holiday. It was agreed so Hopper could let you far away from all the trouble.

Part Summary: You decided to give Hopper a short break from seeing you every day... But you didn't know how much can happen in your hometown in a week and a half you're gone.

A/N: And... Welcome Mr. Demogorgon disrupting everyone’s life on the stage, please, give it up for him! (Reader is on holiday in North Dakota during the events of the first season.)

A/N 2: I went a bit off the OG events, but here, I have drunk Hopper on the phone mumbling about being cursed for you, enjoy, please. Actually inspired by Heroes (Peter Gabriel's cover) - the song playing when they found Will's body.

Word count: 4.1 K

Tagging: @nemodoren​, @creedslove​

Master list: H E R E

Just as your mom asked you to, two days after the dinner at your parents’, Jim dropped you off at your house in the early morning. It was more or less safe since it was only five in the morning and Hawkins was dead asleep at the moment. You didn't want him to be alone, but he brushed you off with ’it's only twelve days, what can happen during that?’ and you reminded him of what you had done in twelve days, leaving him with a nasty grin. 

You both almost fainted, because just in the middle of your heated making-out session, just as his hand palmed your thigh as you basically climbed onto his seat, your brother came out of the house along with Steve, grinning. Steve looked at both of you with confusion before turning around and disappearing.

Steve Harrington had a girlfriend now, or so you heard. Nancy Wheeler became to lucky one, at least that was what the rumors were saying. He couldn't forgive about the endless crush on you, though.¨

You told Hopper to leave for work before your mom sees him there, laughing as Aiden helped you with your stuff, greeting Hopper. He really did drive, honking at your parents, waving at them as he left for the station. 

It was the third of November - you were supposed to see Hopper again on the sixteenth day of that month. And you were honestly ready to take a short break from the everlasting dishes and laundry at your house and just relax before coming back to the arms of the man you grew to adore. 

To be honest, you loved your father’s parents’ house in North Dakota - it was a big house in the middle of nothing, ten minutes away from the nearest signs civilization. The sixteen-hours lasting road trip in your/Aiden's car was almost endless and it was hot like hell at whiles, but in the end, you loved the view more than anything.

You had also a lot of family members, like aunties and cousins your age there and you were excited to meet all of them after such a long time. You promised a call to Hopper as soon as you reach their house - and so you did, giving him the number as well. It was midnight, but you knew that he’s waiting for it. And of course, he picked up as soon as you started ringing, laughing like a small kid when you told him that he rather should go to sleep.

It was a quick call just to reassure you that he's fine - you asked him about food and laundry and he told you, with a chuckle, that you're worried too much and that he managed to survive forty years without you - that thirteen days is basically nothing.

Most of the days, you spent walking around in the wilderness. Your cousin Corrie showed you a pack of wild bison living near your grandparent’s house and a great overlook. Other days, you and your other cousin Jane helped your granny with baking and cooking or tiding up. Everyone was thrilled to have you there because they saw both you and Aiden once a year. They took you to the local cinema, for some shopping and even for a time at the local pool and local dance. You were enjoying yourself the most you could. 

Everyone was surprised when someone asked you the typical question - ’And do you have a boyfriend already?’ - and your mom answered ’She, in fact, has. And it's a lovely lad.’, winking at you. She still wasn't okay with Hopper, it was only four days since the dinner, but she was slowly adjusting to the situation. They asked you a lot about that mysterious ’Jim’, but you never told them much about your man. 

It came on the third day you were in Dakota - the sixth of November. You were just playing with your four-year-old cousin Marty, building Lego spaceships, when your grandma came into the room, holding a phone in her hand, handing you the handset. 

“It’s some Mr. Hopper. He told me that he has to speak to you immediately. He told me that he knows you.” - She whispered while you put Jim on your ear, nodding. You let Marty play with the Lego and left to an empty room. 

“Do you miss me that much, Mr. Hopper?” - You joked, but at the moment you heard Jim sighing, you knew that somethings extremely wrong in Hawkins. First, you thought that maybe he wants to break up with you - but then you remembered him asking about your panties yesterday when you called him around two a.m. and shook the thought off. - “What's going on, Jim? I'm here. Is it Vietnam? New York? Sara?”

“No, it's not that... I just... Jesus, I feel like I need to talk to someone and you're the only one who is goin’ to listen to me and actually understands.” - Okay, so Mr. Hopper was clearly drunk and smoking on the other end of the line, so you sat down on a sofa, exhaling slowly. - “Sometimes... I feel like shit, but you know that. But now, I feel fuckin' cursed, Y/N. And you're not here to stop me from doin’ shit.” - He giggled drunkenly and you stiffened. What was his fucking deal? Had something happened after you left Hawkins? Had Diane called? Did something happen at the station? Did Steve fucking Harrington tell someone what he saw? You swore to God...

“Jim, what you're after? I don't understand, baby, you need to tell me what's wrong.” - You mumbled back and looked at Aiden, who was just checking in on you. You mouthed ’Hopper’ and he nodded before closing up the door after him, telling everyone to keep off the line and out of the room.

“I'm a fuckin’ black hole, y’ know? All the fuckin’ shit that ever happened in Hawkins... It follows me. The last case of person goin’ missin’ happened in the summer of ’23 and the last suicide here was on the fall of ’61, y’ know?” - He asked you rhetorically and you just kept on being silent, trying to decipher the meaning of his entire speech.

“And when I find someone or somethin’ I can fight for or when I feel safe for a minute, it all goes to shit after a while, it all just fuckin' goes to shit.” - Jim said and you could hear him crying. 

“Will you tell me what happened finally? You're freaking me out, Jim.” - You asked silently, playing with the hem of your sweater. Hopper was clearly angry and terrified of something - he would probably get drunk even if you were in Hawkins. His voice was emotionless, he was playing the tough guy card at the moment.

“A kid got lost today.” - He answered honestly and your breath got stuck a bit, but you kept your damn mouth shut since you could hear him taking a breath to continue. - “I thought he has just wandered off the main road or somethin’ but it really looks like that kid’s missin’. It's the Byers boy, that younger one.” - He told you and you closed your eyes. No wonder he felt like shit when a kid got lost in the woods, probably. 

“Have you found something, Jim? Don't be angry or sad, there's still hope.” - You whispered, watching your cousin Diane in the same age little Will was playing outside with a ball.

You knew Joyce Byers from occasionally visiting Melvald’s in the downtown. You remember the day you walked in and while you were handing her the cash, she pointed out on a drawing of a big rainbow spaceship and proudly, she said ’My son Will drew this.’ You knew her boys from meeting them sometimes. The brothers were a bit weird, but when a kid goes missing, you don't care if they were weird or not.

You just want to find them as quickly as possible.

"A bike if that's what you wanna call 'a find'." - Hopper mouthed back and you could hear him crying, he just couldn't handle the situation anymore. It was breaking your heart to hear him being this much fucked up. You wanted to hug him, press your body onto his, hold him tight and whisper him sweet nothings. You wanted to kiss him and make things right at least for a second.

"James Hopper, you better listen to me right now. You're the best cop I've ever seen. Stop whining, go to sleep now and you're going to find this fucking kid because that kid is lost somewhere in the woods, it's freezing to death, it's terrified and alone, you hear me?" - You said aggressively, being completely done with him and his self-shaming shit at that point. - "You won't duck out and you will make me proud."

You talked to him until the moment he really fell asleep, walking out of the empty room after the phone went silent. There were emptiness and horror inside of you. Will Byers got lost and your boyfriend promised himself to find him. You were destroyed, tired and worried for Jim, but you encouraged him enough to trust in himself. Or at least you thought so.

"What happened? Is Hopper doing okay?" - Your mom asked with a furrow as soon as you entered the door and you shook your head, looking at her with terror. They were just having a huge family dinner outside your granny's house, everyone from the family came to greet you.

"A kid went missing in Hawkins. You remember that little Byers? He always rode the bike with his friends, they were inseparable." - You mumbled and your mom only let out quiet 'Oh God' to summarize the whole situation. She went on a and gave Joyce a call - to tell her not to lose hope in finding Will.

You haven't left the house for the other two days - Hopper could call literally every minute and almost everyone got invested in that kid going missing. You missed a few cool trips here and there, but Hopper hadn't disappointed; he gave you heads up every few other hours. And you even laughed at times which you definitely didn't expect - like the time when it came to talking with Will's best friends.

"You wouldn't believe how bad I am with kids, these little fuckers were just fuckin' around with me, talkin’ about Lord of the Rings and stuff... Jesus." - Hopper mumbled with a quiet chuckle, lighting up another cigarette. He was calling you from a telephone booth and left Powell with Callahan in his Blazer, and according to his words, those men watched his every move. You chuckled at that. Jim really took your words directly to his heart, doing his best to save the damn kid. He was not giving up on that boy.

To find what happened, he talked with his best friends and the way he told you the investigation was going was so hilarious it made you laugh like crazy.

"No way. Jim Hopper is good at everything." - You hummed back and crossed your legs, thinking about some really nasty things.

"Am I? At what exactly, I can't seem to remember." - He asked in his deep voice and you knew that it's about to go really nasty. You yelled at your mom to get off the phone immediately through the whole fucking house just to have some privacy. Hopper, again, chuckled at that.

"Like... I don't know, folding clothes?" - You asked innocently still worrying that your mom's listening to that conversation. But as soon as you heard her yelling something at your cousins, you knew she really got off. - "After you tear it down off of me."

"Someone's in the mood to play, I see. I would like to stay and hear you foldin' your clothes, but the boys are in a hurry." - Jim whispered, yelling something at the two cops.

"Jim?" - You asked and you got only a hum as a response. - "Be safe out there, okay?"

"I'm missin' you here. I'm lookin' forward to seeing you." - He answered and the line got quiet again. You missed him as well, but in the end, you had only eight days in front of you. What could go wrong? And that was a dumb question to ask.

Well, a lot could go wrong actually, since the other day, Hopper's calls got less and less frequent until they stopped completely. It was the ninth of November when mom woke you up really late in the night. He handed you over the handset, making you sit up

"It's Hopper and he was really... Weird. It seems urgent. He was ringing the number fifteen minutes in a row." - She whispered and sat next to you on the bed, hugging your shoulder. It didn't matter how old Hopper was or what reputation did he have. He needed just as a human being needs another one to lean into. He needed you as a partner and no matter how stressful that was, you wanted to be there for him. And your mom understood that clearly.

"Jim, Jim, it's me." - You mumbled sleepily and listened to him hyperventilating. He was crying again, but he was trying to calm down now. He sometimes woke up with these panic attacks. Something went awfully off the rails in Hawkins. This wasn't the Jim you grew to know and love. - "Baby, stay here with me, let's do this together. Breathe in and out, just like that, that's it, that's it. In and out."

"We found the boy." - He muttered out when he calmed down finally. sobbing. He may pretend to be the rough edge guy, but you knew that's the exact opposite of his character when no-one can see him. He didn't get too friendly with people in Hawkins, but he cared about each one of them. That's why he was the Chief in the end.

"And what happened? Is everyone alright? Is he safe now?" - You asked and mouthed 'They found Will' to your mom. You were about to cry as well - he was making such heart-wrenching sounds that only that alone made your eyes water.

"He drowned in the quarry." - Hopper told you, lighting up a cigarette. - "He was decomposed, but the guys from the CIA told us that it's the boy for sure. Jesus." - And that was the moment you started to cry, putting a palm in front of your mouth. It wasn't hard to make out what had happened to little Will Byers.

"How's everyone doing? What about Joyce? Do you want me to come back? Just say a word and I'm on my way back, just like that." - You asked when you finally caught your breath. Your mom was holding you tight because it really had shocked you and she was also listening to everything Hopper said. She kissed your shoulder, closing her eyes. You have never spoken to that kid, but... He was so young. And according to Joyce really bright and creative. This wasn't fair. This just wasn't fair. He had a whole life ahead and now, it was just gone. Hopes were lost just like that. You felt the cold and emptiness growing in your chest again.

"No... Just stay there until I know it's safe here again, alrite? We'll be workin' with some guys from the state for a while now, closing the case up. " - Hopper told you sincerely and you hummed, crying again. - “The boy has a funeral tomorrow. I feel like this is on me, you know? Everyone was believin' that Jim fuckin' Hopper, the New York detective, will find the Byers boy alive and well... It's my fault."

"This doesn't mean you're a bad cop, Jim, okay?" - You asked him after a while when you made yourself calm down. - "This doesn't mean you suck at your job, baby. Don't put yourself down, you're a great cop and even a better person. The boy... It isn't your fault. I swear. We'll talk about it once I get back to Hawkins, okay?" - You asked worriedly. - "Please, send Joyce my deepest condolences. I'm..."

Hopper needed to be strong and so you needed to be strong as well. For him. You'd do everything for that man. If he would want you to go back to Hawkins immediately, you would go.

"Just keep out of Hawkins until I secure it again. If somethin' would go wrong with you, I don't think... I'm just really missin' you, sunshine." - Hopper mumbled tiredly and you understood. He needed to be alone, so you put the phone off the bed, looking at your mom. Hopper didn't cause this, but you knew he's going to put himself down horrendously after that. A boy's life was lost, but Hopper wasn't the one to blame.

But the worst thing about all of that? He hadn't called after that, not even once. You tried to occupy yourself with hikes and board games with your cousins, even playing some D&D, but there weren't any calls from Hopper from that day on. No matter how hard you wished for them, he hadn't call you. You called into the trail many times, but no-one had picked up.

That was the exact moment you had enough. If he was in danger, you wouldn't leave him like that, whether something bad happened to him or if it was his mind again.

You decided to come home earlier to check on him, which your mom agreed with. The sixteen-hours long drive with your car was horrendous, to say the least, but that very night, you stopped in front of Hopper's trail, basically storming inside. It was dark and empty, but you still hoped that Hopper left you a key under the mossy rock. It really was there.

You stopped yourself for a small moment before actually opening the door up, trying to prepare yourself for what will be inside of that trail. You almost threw up next to the stairs, opening the door finally. And for the fucking love of God, there was some serious mess inside of that trail.

You walked through it and saw at least a few tubes of Tuinal, each one of them empty, remnants of various fast food, beer cans, and full ashtrays literally everywhere. The furniture was messed up, the phone ripped out of the wall, TV laying on the side. The place looked robbed and for a moment, you got really, really worried.

Hopper wasn't nowhere to be found, so the last thing you could do was to sit and wait for him. While doing so, you decided to clean it up and cook some actual food. Before moving the furniture back in place, you checked the drawers, not finding his personal gun. Where was he and why did he take the gun with him?

He drove in pretty late in the night, it was almost midnight; you took a nap on the couch in the meantime, being dead asleep by the time he turned the engine off.

Hopper was thinking that he's hallucinating when he saw your car parked directly on its spot, but then he saw the turn on the light and you passed out in front of the TV through the window.

He took a deep breath in - he just came back from the Hawkins lab, closing another deal with them including Joyce and WIll, and he needed to think about what should he tell you. He wasn't willing to try his chances with telling you the truth; as he said, he wouldn't put you in danger under any circumstances and the men from the government weren't fucking around with anyone. He needed to come up with a story that would be believable and easy to swallow, but at the moment, he was just too tired to think of one. Jim slowly entered the trail, taking the coat off, putting it on a rack, trying not to wake you up yet. 

You were beautiful when you fell asleep - your cheeks got rosy, you snuggled deep into the blanket, having a dreamy emotion on your face. He kneeled behind the couch, kissing your temple and smoothing your hair, gently waking you up.

"You're here sooner." - Jim whispered with a smile when you opened up your eyes. He just needed you by his side, no matter what anyone in Hawkins is going to say. Fuck them and fuck the rumors. It was safe now, you were his girl and everyone else could go fuck themselves.

"And you stopped calling. I was worried." - You mumbled, nuzzling closer to his hand, reaching out to hold the other one. - "Where were you? It's really late."

"Was visiting Joyce's, she needed someone to talk to. I would be here sooner if you'd give me heads up." - Hopper kissed your temple again, helping you with standing up. He watched one of those lazy smiles.

"How's she? Feeling better after Will..." - You whispered in a broken voice. Oh. Hopper realized that you still thought that Will has drowned in the quarry. He hadn't got exactly the time to call you since he was held at the lab of driving around Hawkins with children in his Blazer most of the time.

"The boy was found alive, thanks to God. He's in the hospital and he's gettin' better and better with each passin' day. He's a fighter." - Jim said quietly and tried not to put too much emotion into it, but you knew that it's making him happy. He led you through the whole trail, kissing your collar bone though the fabric of the shirt once you were standing up in the bedroom. - "I've missed you so fuckin' much." - The man moaned into the fabric of his very own shirt and just when he was about to lay you down, you stopped him and palmed his jaws, making the man look at you.

"I'm proud of you, Jim Hopper." - You said quietly with an adoring look in your eyes. Hopper would swear that he hasn't seen so much awe and love in someone's eyes until you gave him this look. - "You are a great man. And I can't imagine being in Hawkins without you." - You whispered and pulled him in for a kiss.

You gave him many kisses, but this one was somehow full of feelings and Jim warmed up when he felt the love radiating out of it. For a while, the thought of him saying those three words was lingering on his mind as you took off the shirt, pressing your naked torso into the fabric of his uniform.

It would be so easy to say them. Every time he called you to Dakota, you were there and listened to every word; you laughed when you were supposed to laugh and you were sad when you were supposed to be sad. To say that he found everything he asked for was just too little to express everything about you.

You continued with kissing him, not leaving him alone in that freezing night for a single second. Nothing felt better than having you back and at that moment, he first realized that he's in love with you. It never crossed his mind so clearly. He was deeply in love. But he didn't want to ruin the moment, so he helped you with taking your pants down.

It didn't matter how smelly he was, it didn't matter that he had a huge bruise on his arm, the only thing that mattered was it was him. That it was him staying there with you.

And you realized how much you've fallen for that guy. It was the best feeling you've ever felt.

#jim hopper imagine #jim hopper #jim hopper x reader #james jim hopper #jim hopper stranger things #stranger things hopper #stranger things netflix #stranger things #sriracha

[wobc-fm]

SleepWalker 2019 Freshman List

words by Amari Newman, Maxx McGee, & Brennan Ryan

We are SleepWalker Radio, broadcasting on Tuesday nights at midnight on WOBC. In our show, we listen to a lot of rap and watch a lot of rap music videos. Right now XXL is the only relevant hip hop outlet that puts out a “Freshman List,” which is a list of the best artists relatively new to the rap game who have gained a lot of attention in the most recent year. Unfortunately, every list that XXL has put out seems to be more and more out of touch with what actual fans of rap in our age range actually listen to. They also only highlight rappers in their list, even though so much more goes into the overall content put out by these artists including the beats they rap over and the music videos they put out.

So we’re going to put out our own list of rappers, producers and videographers in the rap game that’s more in touch with what people are listening to and want to experience.  This post will cover videographers, and you can find the posts on rappers and producers here!

Lonewolf  

@whylonewolf

Lonewolf, from Indiana, produces some of the most psychedelic visuals you will ever experience. All his videos are really high paced with a new edit, camera angle, transition, paper cutout, painting or newspaper clipping coming at you like every half second. In some of his videos, you can't count past one second without something new happening. Like you should try it because you literally can't do it. And despite the flow of chaotic visuals, every one of Lonewolf’s videos still matches perfectly with the beat and lyrics of each song. Watching his videos is like having an incredibly relaxing seizure.

Lonewolf has done visuals for Drake, Future, Lil Tracy, Denzel Curry, Lucki, Yung Bans, SahBabii, Maxo Kream and Comethazine. He is really blowing up right now with more and more people in the underground and mainstream acknowledging, and biting, his greatness. Lonewolf’s music videos are something that would make complete sense if you took LSD and watched them.

Videos by Lonewolf to watch:

“Lucki - Switchlanes,” “Yung Bans - Out,” “Warhol.ss - Devil’s Sight”

AWGE (HidjiFIlms, YGA film, Ricky Fula, Jimmy Regular, Bladi and more…)  

So there’s like a lot of people in AWGE, and they’re pretty lowkey about what exactly they are, but think of them as like an extension of A$APMob. I will be focusing on the videographers in this group, and I’m pretty sure they are all from New York. Once again, they are pretty mysterious about who works on what in their videos, but there are like 8 main editors and videographers that work them. Their videos are some of the rarest and cleanest out there. Using high-quality footage meshed with a bunch of glitch art and edits, AWGE has pumped out some of the most visually stimulating content in the past 2 years.

They have released a series of DVDs online, and in their bodega, that features a variety of rappers including Kanye West, Tyler the Creator, Maxo Kream, Lil Flip and Chief Keef. They have also released music videos for A$AP Rocky, Gunna, Kodak Black, Playboi Carti and A$AP Ferg. AWGE has made a name for themselves as the most creative visual team in the mainstream community, and they played a huge part in introducing music videos with weird edits, effects and transitions to the mainstream hip-hop audience. AWGE is still working to fully establish themselves in the industry, and I am sure they will be flooding the game soon with an onslaught of visual experiences to complete their takeover.

Videos from AWGE you should watch:

“Playboi Carti - Magnolia,” “A$AP Ferg - Plain Jane,” “A$AP Rocky feat Skepta Prasie The Lord (Da Shine)”

Moshpit DMV

@MOSHPIT_DMV

Moshpit DMV, from either Maryland or D.C., has quickly established himself as one of the areas go to videographers, especially when it comes to the more creative and experimental type of videos. His videos are incredibly diverse, ranging from a replication of a marvel comic book to a video starring a Lego version of Lil Xelly. Watching his videos can really evoke any type of feeling or emotion because each one is its own, and Moshpit has become very effective at using his creative visuals to enhance the songs they are for.

This past year, he has shot videos for SickBoyRari (Black Kray), BootyChaaain, Lil Xelly, Goonew, Lil Dude and The Khan. Moshpit is definitely one of the most creative videographers out there, and is quickly gaining attention from a bunch of emerging rappers right now. He’s in a position to really take over the visual rap game. He’s also got one of the hardest intro sequence/logos in the game by far.

Videos by Moshpit to watch:

“Lil Xelly - Marvel,” “The Khan - Just Like Me,” “SickBoyrari (Black Kray) - Catchmeoutside,”  “SickBoyRari (Black Kray) and Lil Xelly - Fishtank”.

Jmoney1041

@JermaineMiller_

Jmoney, from Arlington, Texas, has made a name for himself for having some of the  hardest transitions in the rap editing scene. And by transitions, I’m talking about what's really popular nowadays in rap videos where they switch scenes in the video by zooming into like someones iphone. It's kind of hard to explain. You just gotta watch one of his videos to understand, but the s**t goes hard.

Jmoney has shot the vast majority of videos for Texas artists Splurge and 10.k caash. He has also shot for Blueface, Matt Ox, Lil Uzi Vert, and Tisakorean. Jmoney is one of the biggest dance video recorders in Texas. If you go to his youtube profile the vast majority of his videos are of different dance groups performing to popular songs, and some of these videos actually have more views than his music videos. Jmoney is extremely versatile and is one of the hardest working videographers out whose buzz is only getting bigger.

Videos by Jmoney1041 to watch:

“Splurge - Intro pt. 2,” “Sensi Molly - $HHH,” “Splurge - Free Granny”

Nikiboix_x

@nikiboix_x

Nikiboix_x, from somewhere in Russia, might be the most interesting videographer on this list. He's this guy who gets videos sent to him and makes crazy ass edits to them that no one else in the game can match. A simple video of someone just rapping into a camera is transformed into an action packed visual with a bunch of drawings, 3D animations, glitch art and Call of Duty loading screens. Watching his videos makes you feel like you just chugged three cans of Mountain Dew GameJuice while on molly, and are just experiencing the hallucinations that come from that concoction. Like the s**t is actually insane. Imagine if that Cartoon Network show Problem Solverz was rated R and then put in a rap video. Even with all the wild shit going on, all of his edits still fall in sync with the beat and everything being said in the song, which shows how precise he is with what he’s doing.

Nikiboi has done a lot editing for the Marino Infantry collective’s videos. Doing visuals for its members YG Addie (A$AP Ant), Baby 9eno and Lulu P. He has also shot for the Noesix dance crew, Diesel and Vfiles. He also makes wild ass Dubstep music too. Although he is pretty new to the visual rap game, Nikiboi’s unrivaled talent will definitely send him to some impressive collabs as the year progresses.

Videos by Nikiboix_x to watch:

“Baby 9eno & A$AP Ant - Rerock,” “Lulu P & A$AP Ant - Western Union,” “Lulu P - Hot Fire”

Reggie Reggg

@reggie_reggg

From PG county Maryland, Reggie Reggg has mastered creating visuals that match perfectly with a song. A member of the Clockwork Productions visual team based out of the D.C. and Maryland area, Reggg doesn’t use any crazy edits or wild transitions, he just makes videos that are clean as hell. Like once you watch one of the videos for a song that he shot, you automatically think of the video when you hear the song because it really just matches perfectly with the feeling that the song was originally intended to evoke. Whether it's doing a slow and smoove Q da Fool song, or a turnt ass Goonew song, all of Reggg’s videos complement them perfectly.

Reggg has shot for a lot of the hottest artists coming out of DMV including Rico Nasty, YungManny, YG Addie, Goonew, Lil Dude, Q da Fool, Shabazz and Lightshow. Reggie Reggg has already established himself in the DMV area, and more people outside the area are starting to take notice, so expect some more heat to be coming from him the rest of 2019.

Videos shot by Reggie Regg to watch:

“Q da Fool - Bakk to Bakk,” “YungManny - All my guys,” “Goonew - Bag”

Marcy Mane

@MARCYMANE

Marcy Mane, from uptown D.C.,  is definitely one of the most influential and respected artists in the entire underground rap community. He not only raps, produces, DJs and designs clothes, he’s also been one of the pioneers in making experimental rap videos. A former member of the Goth Money Records collective, which is arguably the most important and influential group in the entire “Soundcloud” rap community, Marcy Mane was one of the main people responsible for directing the videos that were put out by the group. He’s been consistently putting out art since 2011, and was really on making weird edits with layered sequences and old VHS tape effects, before almost anyone else. Even though a huge amount of current videographers have bit Marcy Mane’s editing style, noone has ever been able to do it like him.

As of late, Marcy’s videos have been based as hell. They normally consist of him doing everyday things like buying food, drinking tea, playing golf, driving, or just walking around the city, but its filled with crazy edits that blow your mind. Watching his videos takes you to an alternate universe that's always glitching out, and turning from high def 4k to old vhs footage at any given moment, and everyone is moving in reverse.

Marcy directed a lot of early videos for SickboyRari (Black Kray), Kane Grocerys, Lofty305, Luckaleannn and Milf Mitch. He has recently done videos for StarFoxLaFlare and Sybr. His videos really are just their own, and are great. Many people have bit the swag, but have come nowhere near doing what Marcy has done.

Videos by Marcy mane to watch:

“Marcy Mane - Plugged In,” “Marcy Mane - Thuggish Ruggish Goth,” “Marcy Mane - slobonmiknob ft Mitch,” “Marcy Mane - Gothallthisgwap,” “Marcy Mane - 47you.”

#wobc #wobc oberlin #sleepwalker radio #college radio

[thesnhuup]

Pop Picks – April 27, 2018

April 27, 2018

What I’m listening to:

I mentioned John Prine in a recent post and then on the heels of that mention, he has released a new album, The Tree of Forgiveness, his first new album in ten years. Prine is beloved by other singer songwriters and often praised by the inscrutable God that is Bob Dylan.  Indeed, Prine was frequently said to be the “next Bob Dylan” in the early part of his career, though he instead carved out his own respectable career and voice, if never with the dizzying success of Dylan. The new album reflects a man in his 70s, a cancer survivor, who reflects on life and its end, but with the good humor and empathy that are hallmarks of Prine’s music. “When I Get To Heaven” is a rollicking, fun vision of what comes next and a pure delight. A charming, warm, and often terrific album.

What I’m reading:

I recently read Min Jin Lee’s Pachinko, on many people’s Top Ten lists for last year and for good reason. It is sprawling, multi-generational, and based in the world of Japanese occupied Korea and then in the Korean immigrant’s world of Oaska, so our key characters become “tweeners,” accepted in neither world. It’s often unspeakably sad, and yet there is resiliency and love. There is also intimacy, despite the time and geographic span of the novel. It’s breathtakingly good and like all good novels, transporting.

What I’m watching:

I adore Guillermo del Toro’s 2006 film, Pan’s Labyrinth, and while I’m not sure his Shape of Water is better, it is a worthy follow up to the earlier masterpiece (and more of a commercial success). Lots of critics dislike the film, but I’m okay with a simple retelling of a Beauty and the Beast love story, as predictable as it might be. The acting is terrific, it is visually stunning, and there are layers of pain as well as social and political commentary (the setting is the US during the Cold War) and, no real spoiler here, the real monsters are humans, the military officer who sees over the captured aquatic creature. It is hauntingly beautiful and its depiction of hatred to those who are different or “other” is painfully resonant with the time in which we live. Put this on your “must see” list.

Archive

March 18, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Sitting on a plane for hours (and many more to go; geez, Australia is far away) is a great opportunity to listen to new music and to revisit old favorites. This time, it is Lucy Dacus and her album Historians, the new sophomore release from a 22-year old indie artist that writes with relatable, real-life lyrics. Just on a second listen and while she insists this isn’t a break up record (as we know, 50% of all great songs are break up songs), it is full of loss and pain. Worth the listen so far. For the way back machine, it’s John Prine and In Spite of Ourselves (that title track is one of the great love songs of all time), a collection of duets with some of his “favorite girl singers” as he once described them. I have a crush on Iris Dement (for a really righteously angry song try her Wasteland of the Free), but there is also EmmyLou Harris, the incomparable Dolores Keane, and Lucinda Williams. Very different albums, both wonderful.

What I’m reading:

Jane Mayer’s New Yorker piece on Christopher Steele presents little that is new, but she pulls it together in a terrific and coherent whole that is illuminating and troubling at the same time. Not only for what is happening, but for the complicity of the far right in trying to discredit that which should be setting off alarm bells everywhere. Bob Mueller may be the most important defender of the democracy at this time. A must read.

What I’m watching:

Homeland is killing it this season and is prescient, hauntingly so. Russian election interference, a Bannon-style hate radio demagogue, alienated and gun toting militia types, and a president out of control. It’s fabulous, even if it feels awfully close to the evening news. 

March 8, 2018

What I’m listening to:

We have a family challenge to compile our Top 100 songs. It is painful. Only 100? No more than three songs by one artist? Wait, why is M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes” on my list? Should it just be The Clash from whom she samples? Can I admit to guilty pleasure songs? Hey, it’s my list and I can put anything I want on it. So I’m listening to the list while I work and the song playing right now is Tom Petty’s “The Wild One, Forever,” a B-side single that was never a hit and that remains my favorite Petty song. Also, “Evangeline” by Los Lobos. It evokes a night many years ago, with friends at Pearl Street in Northampton, MA, when everyone danced well past 1AM in a hot, sweaty, packed club and the band was a revelation. Maybe the best music night of our lives and a reminder that one’s 100 Favorite Songs list is as much about what you were doing and where you were in your life when those songs were playing as it is about the music. It’s not a list. It’s a soundtrack for this journey.

What I’m reading:

Patricia Lockwood’s Priestdaddy was in the NY Times top ten books of 2017 list and it is easy to see why. Lockwood brings remarkable and often surprising imagery, metaphor, and language to her prose memoir and it actually threw me off at first. It then all became clear when someone told me she is a poet. The book is laugh aloud funny, which masks (or makes safer anyway) some pretty dark territory. Anyone who grew up Catholic, whether lapsed or not, will resonate with her story. She can’t resist a bawdy anecdote and her family provides some of the most memorable characters possible, especially her father, her sister, and her mother, who I came to adore. Best thing I’ve read in ages.

What I’m watching:

The Florida Project, a profoundly good movie on so many levels. Start with the central character, six-year old (at the time of the filming) Brooklynn Prince, who owns – I mean really owns – the screen. This is pure acting genius and at that age? Astounding. Almost as astounding is Bria Vinaite, who plays her mother. She was discovered on Instagram and had never acted before this role, which she did with just three weeks of acting lessons. She is utterly convincing and the tension between the child’s absolute wonder and joy in the world with her mother’s struggle to provide, to be a mother, is heartwarming and heartbreaking all at once. Willem Dafoe rightly received an Oscar nomination for his supporting role. This is a terrific movie.

February 12, 2018

What I’m listening to:

So, I have a lot of friends of age (I know you’re thinking 40s, but I just turned 60) who are frozen in whatever era of music they enjoyed in college or maybe even in their thirties. There are lots of times when I reach back into the catalog, since music is one of those really powerful and transporting senses that can take you through time (smell is the other one, though often underappreciated for that power). Hell, I just bought a turntable and now spending time in vintage vinyl shops. But I’m trying to take a lesson from Pat, who revels in new music and can as easily talk about North African rap music and the latest National album as Meet the Beatles, her first ever album. So, I’ve been listening to Kendrick Lamar’s Grammy winning Damn. While it may not be the first thing I’ll reach for on a winter night in Maine, by the fire, I was taken with it. It’s layered, political, and weirdly sensitive and misogynist at the same time, and it feels fresh and authentic and smart at the same time, with music that often pulled me from what I was doing. In short, everything music should do. I’m not a bit cooler for listening to Damn, but when I followed it with Steely Dan, I felt like I was listening to Lawrence Welk. A good sign, I think.

What I’m reading:

I am reading Walter Isaacson’s new biography of Leonardo da Vinci. I’m not usually a reader of biographies, but I’ve always been taken with Leonardo. Isaacson does not disappoint (does he ever?), and his subject is at once more human and accessible and more awe-inspiring in Isaacson’s capable hands. Gay, left-handed, vegetarian, incapable of finishing things, a wonderful conversationalist, kind, and perhaps the most relentlessly curious human being who has ever lived. Like his biographies of Steve Jobs and Albert Einstein, Isaacson’s project here is to show that genius lives at the intersection of science and art, of rationality and creativity. Highly recommend it.

What I’m watching:

We watched the This Is Us post-Super Bowl episode, the one where Jack finally buys the farm. I really want to hate this show. It is melodramatic and manipulative, with characters that mostly never change or grow, and it hooks me every damn time we watch it. The episode last Sunday was a tear jerker, a double whammy intended to render into a blubbering, tissue-crumbling pathetic mess anyone who has lost a parent or who is a parent. Sterling K. Brown, Ron Cephas Jones, the surprising Mandy Moore, and Milo Ventimiglia are hard not to love and last season’s episode that had only Brown and Cephas going to Memphis was the show at its best (they are by far the two best actors). Last week was the show at its best worst. In other words, I want to hate it, but I love it. If you haven’t seen it, don’t binge watch it. You’ll need therapy and insulin.

January 15, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Drive-By Truckers. Chris Stapleton has me on an unusual (for me) country theme and I discovered these guys to my great delight. They’ve been around, with some 11 albums, but the newest one is fascinating. It’s a deep dive into Southern alienation and the white working-class world often associated with our current president. I admire the willingness to lay bare, in kick ass rock songs, the complexities and pain at work among people we too quickly place into overly simple categories. These guys are brave, bold, and thoughtful as hell, while producing songs I didn’t expect to like, but that I keep playing. And they are coming to NH.

What I’m reading:

A textual analog to Drive-By Truckers by Chris Stapleton in many ways is Tony Horowitz’s 1998 Pulitzer Prize winning Confederates in the Attic. Ostensibly about the Civil War and the South’s ongoing attachment to it, it is prescient and speaks eloquently to the times in which we live (where every southern state but Virginia voted for President Trump). Often hilarious, it too surfaces complexities and nuance that escape a more recent, and widely acclaimed, book like Hillbilly Elegy. As a Civil War fan, it was also astonishing in many instances, especially when it blows apart long-held “truths” about the war, such as the degree to which Sherman burned down the south (he did not). Like D-B Truckers, Horowitz loves the South and the people he encounters, even as he grapples with its myths of victimhood and exceptionalism (and racism, which may be no more than the racism in the north, but of a different kind). Everyone should read this book and I’m embarrassed I’m so late to it.

What I’m watching:

David Letterman has a new Netflix show called “My Next Guest Needs No Introduction” and we watched the first episode, in which Letterman interviewed Barack Obama. It was extraordinary (if you don’t have Netflix, get it just to watch this show); not only because we were reminded of Obama’s smarts, grace, and humanity (and humor), but because we saw a side of Letterman we didn’t know existed. His personal reflections on Selma were raw and powerful, almost painful. He will do five more episodes with “extraordinary individuals” and if they are anything like the first, this might be the very best work of his career and one of the best things on television.

December 22, 2017

What I’m reading:

Just finished Sunjeev Sahota’s Year of the Runaways, a painful inside look at the plight of illegal Indian immigrant workers in Britain. It was shortlisted for 2015 Man Booker Prize and its transporting, often to a dark and painful universe, and it is impossible not to think about the American version of this story and the terrible way we treat the undocumented in our own country, especially now.

What I’m watching:

Season II of The Crown is even better than Season I. Elizabeth’s character is becoming more three-dimensional, the modern world is catching up with tradition-bound Britain, and Cold War politics offer more context and tension than we saw in Season I. Claire Foy, in her last season, is just terrific – one arched eye brow can send a message.

What I’m listening to:

A lot of Christmas music, but needing a break from the schmaltz, I’ve discovered Over the Rhine and their Christmas album, Snow Angels. God, these guys are good.

  November 14, 2017

What I’m watching:

Guiltily, I watch the Patriots play every weekend, often building my schedule and plans around seeing the game. Why the guilt? I don’t know how morally defensible is football anymore, as we now know the severe damage it does to the players. We can’t pretend it’s all okay anymore. Is this our version of late decadent Rome, watching mostly young Black men take a terrible toll on each other for our mere entertainment?

What I’m reading:

Recently finished J.G. Ballard’s 2000 novel Super-Cannes, a powerful depiction of a corporate-tech ex-pat community taken over by a kind of psychopathology, in which all social norms and responsibilities are surrendered to residents of the new world community. Kept thinking about Silicon Valley when reading it. Pretty dark, dystopian view of the modern world and centered around a mass killing, troublingly prescient.

What I’m listening to:

Was never really a Lorde fan, only knowing her catchy (and smarter than you might first guess) pop hit “Royals” from her debut album. But her new album, Melodrama, is terrific and it doesn’t feel quite right to call this “pop.” There is something way more substantial going on with Lorde and I can see why many critics put this album at the top of their Best in 2017 list. Count me in as a huge fan.

  November 3, 2017

What I’m reading: Just finished Celeste Ng’s Little Fires Everywhere, her breathtakingly good second novel. How is someone so young so wise? Her writing is near perfection and I read the book in two days, setting my alarm for 4:30AM so I could finish it before work.

What I’m watching: We just binge watched season two of Stranger Things and it was worth it just to watch Millie Bobbie Brown, the transcendent young actor who plays Eleven. The series is a delightful mash up of every great eighties horror genre you can imagine and while pretty dark, an absolute joy to watch.

What I’m listening to: I’m not a lover of country music (to say the least), but I love Chris Stapleton. His “The Last Thing I Needed, First Thing This Morning” is heartbreakingly good and reminds me of the old school country that played in my house as a kid. He has a new album and I can’t wait, but his From A Room: Volume 1 is on repeat for now.

  September 26, 2017

What I’m reading:

Just finished George Saunder’s Lincoln in the Bardo. It took me a while to accept its cadence and sheer weirdness, but loved it in the end. A painful meditation on loss and grief, and a genuinely beautiful exploration of the intersection of life and death, the difficulty of letting go of what was, good and bad, and what never came to be.

What I’m watching:

HBO’s The Deuce. Times Square and the beginning of the porn industry in the 1970s, the setting made me wonder if this was really something I’d want to see. But David Simon is the writer and I’d read a menu if he wrote it. It does not disappoint so far and there is nothing prurient about it.

What I’m listening to:

The National’s new album Sleep Well Beast. I love this band. The opening piano notes of the first song, “Nobody Else Will Be There,” seize me & I’m reminded that no one else in music today matches their arrangement & musicianship. I’m adding “Born to Beg,” “Slow Show,” “I Need My Girl,” and “Runaway” to my list of favorite love songs.

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[thesinglesjukebox]

TAYLOR SWIFT - ...READY FOR IT? [5.79] After the last one, sure!

Katherine St Asaph: The old Taylor's not quite dead -- that pre-chorus is pure Nashville melody, from melody to bowdlerization ("you should see the things we do" is about as explicit as someone marveling over a particularly large pumpkin harvest.) Like her former/current/who knows anymore rival, "Ready For It" pumps up Swift's numbers by sounding like interstitial music for Big Sports -- premiered for the NFL, currently being stripped for instrumental parts by NBA promos -- but also like blood sports. The track's a bombed-out, post-apocalyptic version of 1989, the Yeezus to "LWYMTD"'s 808s. Or possibly approaching NIN: the pretty date machine of "Blank Space" gone rogue, locking onto someone arbitrary (the gossip algorithms still cross-referencing it against increasingly nonentity dudes) because "I see nothing better." It's romance only in the literal sense -- the jailer/thief scenario is even pulpier than "Bad Romance" managed -- and otherwise love reduced to plan and execution. The verses are alternatively tryhard, artificial and vaguely offensive, as if it isn't Taylor on the mic but Microsoft Tay. But the all-consuming, heat-seeking mania of a certain inadvisable sort of crush is palpable as adrenaline, and stokes the all-consuming, heat-seeking maximalism of Max Martin and team throwing every resource and songwriting trick into ensuring this is a hit. Petty points for Swift saying the word "island" this many times in a track with no trop-house whatsoever, and given that she's enough of an in-joker to come up with "Nils Sjoberg," I bet it's on purpose. [9]

Ramzi Awn: The most commendable thing about "...Ready For It?" is that it completely erases any memory of the single that preceded it. A confusing, feverish dash for relevance, the song makes Katy Perry's "Swish Swish" sound even more fun, an accomplishment not to be taken lightly. [3]

Alex Clifton: The rapping is an atrocity. The production is a slicker version of Sleigh Bells with half the heart. Taylor's enunciation is bizarre: "no one has to know" is such an awkward line delivery, second only to the nasally "he can be my jailor" and "let the games begin." Her vocals are a piss-poor imitation of Rihanna; at first listen, it's hard to find a shred of the Taylor I've known and loved. It's a travesty. And yet. It's 100% a Taylor production, overdramatic, narcissistic, full of easter egg references to old songs like "Haunted" and "Wildest Dreams". It's obsessive dark love writ large: "I keep him forever / like a vendetta" marries romance and vengeance perfectly. And the sheer force of that chorus makes me want to scream "IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIIIIIGHT" in public. I love the idea of sexy, dirty Taylor, less concerned with perfection and more with ghosts and robbers and gritty feeling, but the haphazard execution of the verses is so frustrating. Par for the course with all Max Martin creations, though, that chorus is a melodic masterpiece. I've got this on repeat and I'm upset about it. [6]

Eleanor Graham: Who would have guessed that the legacy of Taylor Swift's fifth album "reputation" would be to have production so DIABOLICAL that it makes "Welcome To New York" sound like "Heroes"? No one on pop's A, B or C list should come within 100 feet of something that sounds like this. I've seen comparisons to Yeezus, which is fair because they are comparable in terms of sheer nerve, but on tracks like "New Slaves" or "I'm In It", Kanye's sleaze is a feasible sparring partner for electro-roar. Taylor's Pennsylvania-goth-Bratz-doll-masochism-adjacent-revenge-core is not. You'd think that would be obvious! To, you know, anyone! I don't even know what's happening anymore. The 2 points are mainly for the way she says "go", which does something to me; no, I don't want to talk about it. [2]

Stephen Eisermann: Taylor's thrown caution to the wind and no longer gives any fucks. The provocative chorus and the weird, rapid-fire, off-putting rap/sing hybrid verses are the most prominent examples of her willingness to toss out all consistencies previously found in her music. None of this feels like Taylor and that's fun, but I'm not sure everything works. The verses especially, though lyrically fun, are delivered so oddly that the parts that should be "cool," instead make me cringe - the "Burton" line, specifically. I mean, I'm not sure what I was expecting based on the first single, but it certainly wasn't this, for better or worse. [6]

Ryo Miyauchi: Taylor writes her tried-and-true narrative of love as tragedy into self-parody. The bare-bones beat and the anti-chorus structure of "...Ready For It?" laughs at the many hits of 1989. Her self-satisfaction is maddening, truly: the snicker to "the Burton to my Taylor" is designed to drive everyone nuts. But I should remind: the real target is not exactly you but, as always, her exes, who she destroys without lifting her voice: "every love I've known in comparison is a failure" doesn't so much rip apart the journal pages where they're enshrined than it sets her entire bookshelf into flames like some great purge. [6]

Claire Biddles: Speculating who the 'real' Taylor Swift is is reductive and boring, but my favourite Taylor Swift is the wide-eyed, extra, romantic, saying-too-much-too-soon Taylor Swift that we get a glimpse of in the bridge, swallowed up before she even gets started by that sub-Kanye womp-womp in place of a chorus. There's a mutated version of her in the verses ("We'll move to an island/and he can be my jailer" -- I'm imagining she's just met the guy for full effect) but the self-conscious, sub-Lana Del Rey delivery dampens it. Perhaps I'm just being selfish, wanting for the Taylor who most relates to (and thus excuses) my embarrassing romantic tendencies, but Cool Girl Taylor's attempts at aloofness are unconvincing. [5]

Alfred Soto: A bad single, an uninteresting bad single. Mouthing "are you ready for it?" over synth bass farts comes off like preparing listeners for the punch line: Taylor Swift rapping with as little regard for cadence as Lou Reed in 1986. At least "The Original Wrapper" had the performer's rage as its subject, affected or not; Swift is writing bad bumper music. [3]

Will Adams: It's standard practice now for Taylor Swift to drop an incendiary lead single that gets the discourse a-churnin', only to reel in the masses for the more palatable, less batshit follow-up (and she's not the only one to do this). But for "I Knew You Were Trouble" and "Blank Space," there was still a distortion of who we thought Taylor Swift was (dubstep; dissection of public image). The distortion in "...Ready For It?" is... distortion. But it's hard to care about whether Swift is stoking more controversy when the song is so bracing. There's nowhere to run as blocks of drums stack atop the opening pounds and warped roars, all culminating in, finally, an actual chorus. Where "Look What You Made Me Do" was a firebomb kindled by thinkpieces, the fire in "...Ready For It?" comes from the song itself. [8]

Iain Mew: Like "Wildest Dreams" with the wild dreams added in. [8]

Joshua Copperman: A couple of years ago, I actually co-wrote a song where we used that phantom/ransom rhyme. Until that song actually comes out, here's Taylor being the ransom phantom instead of someone else haunting her. I wish that the opening line was "Loki was a killer/first time that I saw him," because that would be hilarious for her to bypass the "tilted stage" subtweets altogether and talk about how Hiddleston's now pining over her. These lyrics are also as good as anything she's even written, so a "Loki" joke would work better than whatever she was on about last time. What bugs me, though, is the empty space in the chorus. Taylor's best melodies are stream-of-consciousness, but "in the middle of the night/in my dreams.................... you should see the things we do" feels like something got cut out last-minute. I do love the idea though, the way it flips the narrative of Wildest Dreams in a really interesting way - now, she's seeing him in her wildest dreams. That's the kind of self-referencing and subversion I'd rather see Taylor do. [6]

Edward Okulicz: So many of the ingredients of Good Taylor Pop Songs are in this one -- dreamy and melodic chorus, don't care attitude, groan-inducing but quotable lyrics -- but the production feels really dated (to around the time of Red, in fact), stalling the track when it tries to accelerate. [6]

Sonia Yang: On one hand, this is generic pop I would have brushed off had it been any other artist. On the other, it's refreshing to see Swift step out of the zone of what I've come to expect from her in particular. I love the ominous synths and how the entire track has a spy thriller vibe. The best part is that breathy prechorus, you can really feel the "island breeze" as Swift delivers that line. The chorus, unfortunately, is a wisp of a thing that doesn't have any impact. The melody neither compels nor is purposefully anticlimactic. The lyrics, while not quite Love Story levels of awkward, are not great; the Taylor-Burton reference is campy at best and cringe at worst. [5]

Jonathan Bradley: Taylor Swift has rolled out singles from Reputation like trailers for the next release from a blockbuster film franchise: not only songs, "Look What You Made Me Do" and now "...Ready For It" (next: "Gorgeous"?) have acted as teasers for a new product launch. Unveiled during a college football broadcast, "...Ready For It" sounds like sports, like a pre-game huddle, like a highlights reel from last season building excitement to see how the new line-up will perform. "Welcome to New York" did the same for 1989 and was fine, but "...Ready For It" is better because it crams more into its pop overload: a rap that traces the "Empire State of Mind" flow, K-pop synth blasts, a gleefully audacious pun on Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, and a chorus about "dreams" and doing things in the night that throws it all in for the romanticism Swift has always been so resolved to earnestly commit herself. If Reputation should turn out to be her New Jersey album, and if all the stage-setting should ultimately overshadow the show itself, I hope we'll one day rediscover how good the songs themselves were. [8]

#Taylor Swift #...Ready for It?