#and I fucking had my 20 year reunion last year

[absurdthirst]

The new Fast & Furious 95 looks pretty cool 🙄

#seriously though #let the series DIE #I was still in high school when the first one came out #and I fucking had my 20 year reunion last year

[mountainsandmayhem]

You're a Brat, Little Dove

Joel Miller x Female!Reader

Masterlist

Summary: You play with Joel at your 25 year high school reunion to get exactly what you want. CW: Dom!Joel, Sub/Dom, blowjob, throat fucking, gagging, nipple play, Brat!Tamer, unprotected p in v (they’re in a long-term relationship), oral (f and m receiving), anal play very briefly, pet names, cream pie kink, praise kink, degradation if you squint, denial and edging, NO AGE GAP (Joel and reader are in their 40’s)  A/N: I am absolutely BLOWN AWAY by the love that You're Mine and Stay Still have gotten. Truly, from the bottom of my cold, dead heart I really appreciate your likes, comments and reblogs. Hopefully you enjoy this one, as well. Dividers and banners by @saradika-graphics Word Count: 5.6k

Dress. Check. 

Nude heels. Check. 

2 daytime outfits.  Check. 

Drive home clothes. Check. 

Make up bag. Check.

Stop worrying so much. You’re not even leaving the country, you can buy what you forgot.

“You ok?” Joel asks as he wraps his arms around you from behind.

“Just the usual pre-travel anxieties.” You say, leaning into his warmth. Your arms unconsciously cross over his, hands resting on his forearms. 

“We’re not leaving the country, you can buy whatever you forgot,” you smile to yourself at how well he knows you as his lips press lightly to your temple. “Remember when I had to go out of town at the last minute before our Disneyland trip and you packed for all of us?”

“Mmhmmm,” you say. The memories come flooding in of those two little girls; one dressed as a princess from head to toe and the other refusing to take off her Darth Vader helmet. The latter was far braver on the “scary rides”, and held her sister's hand until they were both giggling and screaming with delight.

“You didn’t miss a single thing - for any of us. Including the nightlight that Sarah couldn’t be without and the granola bars that Ellie claimed were the only things she could have for breakfast.” 

You turn your head and gently press your lips to his. This is the kind of love that people write about. Supportive. Caring. Complete and unwavering trust. Each person is 100% in for the other, willingly giving when the other needs to take, and never keeping score. You don’t judge the other for any sort of anxiety they might be having or help they might be needing. Partners. Through and through. 

A noise from the kitchen brings you back and you break the kiss. “What is that incessant beeping?” 

“That’s your phone,” he laughs while pulling out of the hug and squeezing your sides. “It’s been going off all morning. Someone is messaging you on Facebook.” 

You squirm free of his wandering hands and go to brush your teeth. When you come back out to the kitchen he’s scrolling through the messages in your phone. 

“Who is it?” You ask, getting your morning coffee ready. 

Joel throws his head back, laughing loudly as he reads in a mocking voice, “Hi. Long time no talk. I saw your name on the guest list for the reunion this weekend. Can’t wait to catch up. Looks like you’re single. At least based on your profile. Glad to see you got rid of that goon you were dating in your 20s.” 

Your profile is blank, a picture of you holding baby Ellie the day you officially adopted her is the only thing on there, and you have maybe 15 friends. Truthfully, you aren’t even sure why you have it, even in the heyday of Facebook, you weren’t exactly a share-everything-about-yourself-on-the-internet type of girl.

“Oh god,” you laugh. “It’s Zack, isn’t it?” 

Joel wipes away a tear from laughing so hard. “Each sentence is its own message, but I’m a goon?” He slides your phone across the counter to you adding, “Can I punch him again when we see him?” 

Years ago, while visiting your parents, Zack got a little too handsy when you ran into each other at a local pool hall. Joel was and very much still is, a ‘touch her and die’ type of lover. 

You both laugh as you kiss him goodbye and head to work.

On your lunch break, you updated your profile picture to you and Joel with the girls at their high school graduation. Hopefully, Zack will get the message. By 5 pm you’re rushing home to get out the door and drive 5 hours to your old hometown. 

The minute you walk into the reunion you see women’s heads turning to look at Joel. You can’t say you blame them, Joel Miller is the dictionary definition of a DILF! And tonight, in perfectly tailored black pants, a crisp black dress shirt and black tie, his slightly outgrown curls pushed back, and grey scruff perfectly trimmed, he looks hot as sin. And then, just to add insult to an already smoldering hot injury, he recently came to terms with needing glasses for driving at night. Those black frames should be illegal. 

Over the last few days you’ve been sending him articles about spanking and on the drive up had an open and honest communication about what you both wanted out of it. Deep down you’re hoping tonight is your night, you’re tempted to just go back to the hotel and let him do whatever he wants. Instead, the two of you hit the bar to get a drink before finding a table to sit at.

“Who is that lady in the gold sequin dress with the black hair, almost directly behind you?” Joel asks awkwardly, sipping his whiskey.

You glance around the room, trying to not make it obvious when you catch the one person you don’t want around Joel staring right at him. 

“Lucy Garfield.” You say flatly. “She’s the one that slept with Zack seconds after I left for university. I thought they were married but she is eye fucking you so hard.”

“Gross,” he laughs, his nose crinkling up in disgust. He’s so endearing when he’s joking around with you, “Don’t say eye fucking.”

You laugh, “It’s what she’s doing Joel. I wonder how long before she’s over here talking to you.”

You start pushing your chair out from the table and he grabs your leg, “Leave me alone and you’re dead to me”

“Joel,” you giggle and try to push the chair more, “I kinda have to pee though.” 

“Babe, I'm serious. She scares me,” he says with a shudder. “I can feel her looking at me.” 

“Oh, she’s doing more than looking…” you tease, sliding your chair back in.

“Don’t say it.”

He squirms as you lean in to his ear and whisper, “Eye fucking.”

“I hate you.” 

After a few hours of catching up with old friends, you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and grab another drink for you and Joel. When you come out of the bathroom Lucy is alone at your table with Joel. You can see the discomfort on his face as she shows him something on his phone. You’re not jealous or worried, but when Zack approaches you at the bar you decide to have a little fun.

“So you didn’t break up with him after all?” He’s leaning back cockily on the bar, arms crossed, eyes locked on Lucy. 

“No,” you laugh while ordering drinks; whiskey neat for Joel and a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon for you. “I never planned to.” 

“I figured. Lucy seems to take a liking to anyone you set your sights on.”

“You would know best, Zack.” You’re still facing the bar, but you see Zack glance quickly in your direction at the dig. “Any advice for poor Joel over there?”

“Don’t leave the best thing that ever happened to you for a gymnast with...” he stops speaking when he looks back to you, seeing you with one eyebrow raised as you sip your wine. “She and I are getting divorced.” 

“I assumed.”

“Oh?”

And that’s when you hear it. Your song with Joel. 

‘I know what you look like in the morning

Your kisses are soft and warm’

Joel looks around the room for you, when he spots you at the bar a mischievous grin crosses your face and you lean in close to Zack. 

“Dance with me?” You whisper, giving him the puppy eyes he never used to say no to. 

‘I can draw you with my eyes closed 

Seen you with nothing on but the radio’

He places a hand on your lower back and leads you to the dance floor before pulling you in close. Huh, you think to yourself, 25 years later and still got it.

You look away from Joel and give Zack a tight lipped smile as the first verse of the song melts into the chorus. 

‘I know the kind of thing that makes you laugh 

The way you tilt your head for a photograph

What other guy knows you like that’

You fight the urge not to look past Zack’s shoulder and over at Joel as Zack’s voice drones on in the distance, telling you about his divorce. 

‘And I can name the first guy you ever kissed’

You can’t help but sneak a glance at Joel. Zack is the first guy you kissed and Joel knows it.

‘I can name the perfume on your wrist’

Joel crosses his arms, staring at you darkly from across the room. Fuck, you think maybe you bit off more than you can chew.

‘What other guy knows you like that’

Joel stands and strides over to you. 

Yes. Got him. He doesn’t look mad, if anything he’s looking at you with dangerous desire in his eyes. Your heart flutters as heat travels between your thighs.

“Babe, we gotta go.” 

Zack starts to protest but you release yourself from his arms and say with a big smile, “It was lovely catching up. Thank you for the dance.” 

As Joel leads you off the dance floor he growls quietly in your ear, “You’ve been a very bad girl, Little Dove.” 

The car ride back to the hotel is silent. Not a word is uttered between either of you, the second the elevator door closes Joel presses you back against the wall.  Towering over you, one of his hands roughly pulls down the right cup of your dress and bra, he pinches your nipple hard between his thumb and pointer finger. 

You gasp out in pain, but he doesn’t say anything, just glares down at you. As the pain morphs into pleasure you squeeze your thighs together, your panties starting to soak through. He releases you when the elevator stops and turns his back to you, you cover your abused nipple back up before you follow him into your room.

“Clothes off and kneel,” he growls, throwing a pillow haphazardly at your feet.

“Joel-I…” you stutter out. He stalks across the room, only the discarded pillow separating you. 

“I said,” he starts harshly. “Clothes off and kneel, Little Dove.”

You swallow the dry lump in your throat while sliding the zipper down the side of your black dress, letting it fall to the ground. A deep, guttural moan escapes Joel as you kick the dress aside and remove your bra and panties. You’re completely bare for him, nothing but your nude heels left. 

“That’s better. Now kneel.” 

You do as he says, getting into his desired position; hands on your lap and eyes aimed at the floor in front of you. He bends, cupping your chin and tilting your face up to meet his gaze. You expect to see his eyes dark and lips tight, instead, you’re met with softness, his chocolate brown eyes boring into you.

“Little Dove,” he starts, his voice just barely above a whisper. “I am going to punish you for being a brat tonight. Everything I plan to do is things we’ve talked about.” 

“Like what?” You ask as your mouth goes impossibly dry.

“No, you don’t get answers tonight. You’re in trouble. Do you remember your safe words?”

You nod, “Yes sir.”

The colour coding system is how Joel prefers to do things. Red if you need to end things, yellow if you need a break or to slow down, and green to keep going.

His thumb caresses your cheek, “That’s my girl.” 

Joel stands abruptly and your gaze follows him. When he looks down at you, his features are no longer soft. His eyes are almost black, eyebrows slightly knit together and jaw clenched. He snaps his fingers and points at the ground and you immediately obey, shifting your gaze back to where he prefers it. He walks across the room, uncuffing the sleeves of his black dress shirt and rolling them up his thick forearms. You hear the unmistakable sound of him removing his tie and his glasses being placed on the table.

“You were a brat tonight, Little Dove,” he says darkly. “Remind me, do I like brats?” 

“No, sir.” It comes out in a nervous squeak.

Joel stares at you for a while and it’s nearly impossible to keep your eyes on the ground. If Joel had to classify himself, he’d say he was a pleasure Dom. He’d rather use pleasure until you’d beg him to stop, but pleasure is earned, and you used that song and your ex-boyfriend to get to him tonight. He saunters back over and pets your head, just as you start to close your eyes and lean into his touch he grips your hair hard and pulls until you’re once again looking up at him. A shocked yelp comes out of you as you make eye contact. 

“I think you did this on purpose because you so badly want me to spank you.”

“N-no, sir.” 

“No? I bet if I reached in between your legs and felt your pretty little pussy she’d be soaked for me right now. Am I right?” 

“Y-yes.” 

“Take out my cock, Little Dove.” 

His grip on your hair doesn’t loosen as you reach up with shaky hands to undo his belt and pants. As you slide his dress pants down his thick thighs you can see him already hard under his tight black boxers. As you lower those, his thick cock springs free, brushing against your face.

“Hands on my thighs,” he barks.

You jump slightly at the harsh tone and move your hands to rest along the sides of his thighs. He moves his free hand to one of yours and taps on your hand 3 times. “You do that if you need to stop. Show me.” 

You tap 3 times on his thigh like he showed you. “Too bad you were such a bad girl tonight. I wanted to please you and not punish you.”

He moves his hand to fist his cock a few times. It brushes your lips as he continues to speak. “Who do you belong to, Little Dove?”

“You sir,” you answer firmly but quietly. 

“That’s right. Open.”

You lick your lips and obey his orders. He lines himself up and slides the tip of his cock in your mouth, pumping his shaft slowly with his hand, the other still locked in your hair. 

“Mine,” he says it like he’s claiming you as he works more of himself into your mouth. You’re surprised how he takes his time, inching in a little before pulling back, letting you swirl your tongue around to get him nice and wet. When he’s finally all the way in, pushing against your gag reflex he groans out, “So…completely…mine.”

You look up at him through your lashes and remind yourself to relax your throat and breathe through your nose, moaning around his cock before he pulls it all the way out. Saliva falls from your mouth and he smirks at you cockily while he fucks himself with his palm, the tip of his leaking dick resting on your tongue. The salty taste of his pre cum sends a fresh wave of arousal to the apex of your thighs, you can feel it gathering on your calves that are tucked underneath you. 

Without warning, Joel starts to fuck your throat. He pushes himself all the way in and you gag around him before he pulls out halfway. He continues this punishing rhythm for a while, muttering darkly about how you’re a bad girl and you deserve to be punished.  

You’re taken aback by how much you fucking love it. Watching him tower above you all big and strong but you know he’s falling apart. He’s becoming putty because of you and your mouth. It’s filthy and slightly degrading, but you realize that you’re the one in control here. You could do this forever and make a mental note to find times to act out more often.  Tears start to run down your cheeks as his thrusts turn sloppy. You know he’s close so you hum around his cock.

“Oh fuuuuck, baby.” He pulls himself out and steps back, strings of saliva falling from his cock and landing on your chin. Your hands hit the ground in front of you as you gasp in a full breath for this first time since he started using your mouth.  The heat between your thighs is starting to become unbearable.

“What did you think was going to happen - huh?” he says in a deep and condescending tone. “That I’d spank you and then make you come?”

“I’m sorry, sir.” You’re not sorry though, you’d do it again just to feel that gush between your thighs when he hits the back of your throat. 

“Only good girls get spankings. So let me make myself very clear.” You straighten your spine and look up at him as he goes back to petting your hair. 

“You are not allowed to cum.” His voice is deep and scratchy, you’re sure he could make a living by narrating erotica, but that voice is yours.

A small whimper escapes you as he continues. “I’m going to continue to use you how I want. If I think you’ve proven yourself to be my good girl, you’ll get that spanking you want so desperately. Understand?” 

He almost purrs as he says good girl and it turns you feral. “Yes, sir.” 

He reaches a hand to you and helps you stand. He gently wipes the tears from your cheeks before kissing the tip of your nose. “Get on the bed.”

As you walk to the bed you bring one leg up to remove your heels. “Leave them on. Hands and knees, Little Dove.”

Fuck, he knows this is your kryptonite. And fuck, you’re back to thinking that maybe you bit off more than you can handle. Joel is predictable about his Sunday plans during football season and nothing else. 

After stripping off his clothes he comes up behind you, rubs the warm tip of his cock through your slit and he lets out a deep moan. Both of you can hear the wetness as he moves from your clit to your ass. “Mmmm - my bad girl clearly liked having me fuck her throat. You’re soaked for me.”

A firm hand pushes down between your shoulder blades and your upper body hits the mattress. at this new angle, everything is bare to him. 

“Mine,” he says again before placing a few long, slow licks from your clit to your ass, swirling and pressing his tongue in all the right places. “So…completely…mine.” 

His tongue teases your clit as he lightly teases your ass with the pad of his thumb.  The heat begins to spread to your spine, the world falls away and all you’re left with is Joel.  Joel and his wonderful and magic tongue.  Joel and his ability to make you cum.  His voice from earlier rings through your cries of pleasure, ‘you are not allowed to cum.’

“I…n-no…” you stutter, squeezing all your muscles to stop the orgasm that’s fast approaching. “That’s gonna…I’m gonna!” 

“Don’t you dare, Little Dove.” He bites down on your ass cheek and you yelp in pain, but glad for the distraction from how close you were to finishing. 

“Such a bad little girl tonight.” He says into your skin before continuing to tease you with his tongue, swirling your clit, moving to gently flick your ass, then back to your clit. You never know where his tongue might explore next and you find yourself mentally mapping out each aisle of your favorite grocery store with your eyes clamped shut to distract yourself. 

“I wanna be a good girl,” you beg, utterly desperate to follow his rules tonight. “Please stop. I wanna be good, sir.” 

“Poor thing,” he says mockingly, rising and sliding himself inside you so slowly that you feel every inch, vein, and ridge. 

“Fuuuuuuuccccck,” you gasp as he bottoms out. A small, pleading ‘please’ escapes your lips but you don’t even know what you’re asking for. Your body feels like liquid at this point, every muscle relaxed and every bone somehow missing. It’s a complete state of nirvana, if only he’d let you cum.

“Not yet,” he drags out of you and slams back in, a complete juxtaposition to how he first entered you. His grip on your hips is so tight that you’re sure you’ll have bruises tomorrow. “This is my pussy, mine. Say it.”

“Y-yours…” you manage to whine. “oh fuck…yours Joel.”

“That’s right, babygirl.  Mine. So…completely…mine.”

One of your shoes falls to the ground as he continues to slam into you.  You no longer know the difference between right and left, you just know that one shoe is missing. As you reach back to touch him, he pins your hand to your lower back, sliding almost all the way out before slowly pressing his hips flush with your ass. 

“No,” he says sternly. “Only good girls get to touch.” 

You scream out his name, begging him to let you cum. Joel leans forward and pulls you up, still fully inside of you, he holds you still against his warm chest, the combination of your sweat and his sweat feeling sticky along your back.  

“You like when I use you like this, Little Dove?”

“Yessss,” you whine. You force yourself not to roll your hips even though the need to orgasm is almost painful. The word yellow flows through your mind. You could say it. You could say it and get what you want, but you trust Joel. You trust that he has bigger and better plans for you. 

“Say it,” he commands while rolling your earlier pinched nipple between his fingers. 

“Use me, sir….Please. I want to please you.”

“That’s my girl. My perfect little submissive.”

He pushes you back down into the sheets and fucks you harder. The sounds of skin slapping skin and your moans and squeals fill the room. You tense every muscle again to stop the orgasm that’s right on the surface. 

“Where do you want it, Little Dove?”

“Inside me, sir.”

Joel curses through gritted teeth. “Fuck, baby.” 

“Fill me, sir.”

“Such a filthy little girl. D’you know that?” His voice is strained, you know he’s close and you just have to hold off a little longer. 

“Only for you,” you say through moans and gasps.

That’s what does it and you push him over the edge with your words, the heat of his spend filling you as he lets out a loud moan. “Good fucking girl.”

He moves his hips into you a few more times, filling you so much it starts to leak out. “Fuck, takin’ me so well, soundin’ so goddamn sweet as you beg.” 

He doesn’t stay in long after he cums, which you’re thankful for because you’re sure a faint breeze could make you detonate at this point. He steps back to admire the mess he’s made, using his fingers to push his cum back inside you before sitting next to your knees.

“Get over my knee.” 

You rush on shaky limbs to get over this lap, wiggling your ass in nervous excitement. He uses one hand to pin your wrists behind your back. “Mmm - that’s my good girl.” 

Joel uses his other hand to draw slow circles along your cheeks. His warm and calloused fingers send shivers across your body.  “How many do you think you should get?” 

“10,” you respond sheepishly. 

Joel laughs deeply to himself. “You were a brat. Do you really think 10 is enough?” 

You audibly swallow in response to what you know is a rhetorical question. You didn’t think your pussy could throb any harder, but his voice, his hands, and this position has every nerve in your body aflame. 

“20, and if you behave, I’ll stop at 15.” 

“Please, sir.” The anticipation is killing you.

“Ok. I am going to spank you with my hand 20 times. You are going to count and say ‘I’m sorry’ after each one. Understand?” 

“Yes, sir.”  You try not to whine, but you need to be touched,

“Give me a colour baby”

“Green,” you whisper needily. 

2 sharp and quick slaps hit your ass.

“1 and 2,” you squeal, “I’m sorry” 

Light finger strokes tickle along the back of your thighs and up towards the now stinging skin. Joel’s hand disappears from your body and you tense. 

“Shhh,” his thumb holding your wrist strokes the soft skin. “Take a deep breath, Little Dove.” 

You inhale shakily, as you try to relax on your exhale, his hand comes down again. When the two of you did your research on spanking, all the experts said you’d know the sound of a good spank, and Joel being, well Joel, has taken it to a new level of perfection. His third spank stings, but it’s quickly replaced with a fresh wave of warmth in your core. 

“Three. I’m sorry,” you love how quickly he can turn you into a whining mess.

From that point you’re in a trance. You almost feel like you’re floating outside your body as Joel continues your punishment. You hear your voice counting each strike of his hand.  A rush of adrenaline courses through you after each one and you can feel his spend leaking out and dripping in between your thighs.

“Eight. I’m sorry” 

“Messy messy girl.” He says, swiping a finger up your thigh and through the folds of your swollen pussy, he stays away from your clit but you could scream with how good it feels. “I should make you clean this up.” 

You turn your head, glancing over your shoulder to face him, readying yourself for him to slide his fingers down your throat. Instead, he licks his fingers clean and then lays 3 quick smacks across your ass. 

“Eleven. Oh god,” your body jolts with the first one but by the third you’re rolling your lips into him for friction, you need more. More pain. More of his fingers. More of anything and everything he’s willing to give you. “I’m sorry.”

Joel isn’t surprised to see that you like the pain, but he is surprised by how much he likes seeing you in pain. He was hesitant about this whole thing, worried about hurting you, but you’ve never looked more beautiful. A blush lights your face and neck, a thin sheen of sweat across your body. Your squeals and cries slowly become wanton moans. He knows it hurts you, but he can also see how that pain is temporary followed by a rush of adrenaline and pleasure. 

“Good job, Little Dove,” he rubs the red hand prints gently. “Fuck, I don’t deserve you.” 

You relax into his lap as his praises wash over you. You feel completely submissive to him and for the first time, you feel what he said earlier. You are his. So completely his. 

“My,” SMACK 

“Perfect,” SMACK

“Little,” SMACK 

“Submissive,” SMACK 

They happen so quickly that all you can do is moan loudly in ecstasy, heat flooding your core to the point that it’s unbearable.  Pressure behind your eyes builds as your neediness grows.  

“Fif-fifteen. I’m sorry, sir.” You’re squirming uncontrollably, tears threaten to spring from your eyes.

“Please - please. It huuuurts.” Joel knows it’s not the spanking that hurts, it’s the animalistic need to cum that’s causing you so much discomfort. 

“There’s my good girl,” he growls, sliding 2 fingers deep inside you. He curls them forward into your tight and messy heat. The squelching of his cum mixed with your arousal fills the room.

“Does this feel good, Little Dove?” 

“Please Joel,” you sob through stuttered breaths, unable to hold back the tears any longer. “P-please - don’t stop.”

“Fuck I love when you say please. Did you know that?  How it makes my cock twitch hearing you whine sweetly, asking so nicely.” 

He slows his fingers, he knows how sensitive you are, he can feel your pussy gripping tightly to his fingers and he wants to bring you pleasure now, not push you into overstimulation. “You took those so beautifully, Little Dove. I’m so proud of you.” 

You cry out a thank you, your orgasm is right there, the heat in your stomach and spine ready to erupt and spread to the rest of your body. As you squirm on his lap you can feel his erection growing beneath you. Joel continues curling his fingers against your most sensitive spot, his other hand letting go of your wrists and moving to soothe the handprints he left. The gentleness of one hand combined with the demanding desire of the other sends your mind swirling. 

“Get up, baby girl.” He slides his fingers out from you and you want to cry out and complain before he adds, “I want you to cum on my cock.” 

Joel steadies you as you stand up in front of him, “Hold on, spin around.” 

You do as he says, albeit slightly confused until he presses his lips to the bright red handprints he’s tattooed across your skin. 

Yep, you think to yourself. I’m His. So completely his. 

You lay back on the bed, Joel crawling between your legs. He’s looking at you the way he used to when you first met, taking in every inch of your skin almost as if to commit it to memory. It’s the complete opposite of how he looked at you while you danced with Zack. His dangerous desire has turned to an overwhelming softness. 

“Lift your hips, baby,” he slides a spare pillow under you. 

His strong hands massage your hips gently as his eyes rake over your red and swollen pussy. “Oh - that looks painful, baby. Do you need me to take care of it?” 

You whine out in frustration, “Please, sir. I need to cum. Please.” 

He lets out a whispered ‘oh god’ at your pleas, hooking one of your legs in the crook of his elbow, the other wrapping around his waist as he lines himself up and then leans down to softly press his lips to yours. He slides inside of you slowly and you’re instantly shaking underneath him. 

“Shhh, you’re ok,” he whispers into your lips before kissing you harder, rocking his hips with perfect precision. “I’m right here. I got you, baby. I got you.”

The soft part of his belly grazes your clit and you cry out into his mouth. “Oh god - I’m gonna cum.” 

“There you go, baby. Cum for me.” 

You fall apart around him, your head falling back in a silent cry to the ceiling. A buzz of electricity shutters through your whole body, your walls clenching around him harder than you thought was possible. 

“That’s it,” he says into your neck as he licks and kisses. “Let go for me.” 

His words spread more tingles along your skin, you tangle your hands in his curls and pull his face to yours. Kissing him deeply as you start to come down. He stills inside you as he comes again, sending you into a wave of aftershocks. You swallow his moans in your kisses, you never want this to end.

“Stay here honey,” Joel says, getting up to walk with wobbly legs to the bathroom. He comes back with a warm cloth and carefully wipes you clean. Your body jolts and you cry out when he gets near your clit, he whispers apologies while drying you with a towel.

You start to get up. “Are you ok?” he questions. 

“I have to pee,” you laugh. As you wash your hands you take in your reflection. Your poor nipple is purple from the elevator, you have mascara down your face, and as you predicted, you are already bruising from his grip on your hips. You spin to see angry, dark red splotches along the globes of your ass and you smile at yourself. Fuck, is there something wrong with me? 

Even though you’re exhausted, you practically skip back out to the bed where Joel is holding a big glass of water and some soothing lotion that he purchased weeks ago for this exact moment. He laughs and shakes his head, he knows he’s in for it now seeing how happy you are with yourself. 

“Drink this and then lay on your stomach please,” adding a quick, “you little brat.” 

“So bossy.” You joke and roll your eyes, but you both love this part and as elated as you are right now, you know you need the aftercare so that your anxieties don’t get you later. So, you do as he says. You drink the water and then lay on your stomach. Joel rubs the cooling lotion on your marks and then places long, light kisses along your spine.

“How are you feeling?” He coos between kisses.

“I’m great. That was amazing. How are you feeling? I know you weren’t too sold on spanking me.”

Joel lies beside you and pulls you in, his front presses against yours, both of you using your own arm as a pillow. “Honestly, I’m surprised by how much I liked it. You looked so beautiful the entire time. I didn’t think I would like it, but….” He trails off looking slightly embarrassed, using his free hand to play with your hair. 

“But?” you push.

“But…well a man my age doesn’t get multiple orgasms very often, makin’ me feel like we’re in our 20’s again.”

“Well, I guess I’ll just have to act out more often. Any cute guys on the job site I can eye fuck?” 

Joel growls as he pulls you over to rest on his chest. “Mine. Now go to sleep, Little Dove. And stop saying that.” 

Tag List: @corazondebeskar @hiddenbabynyc @mermaidgirl30 @rainstorms-library @smutsmutslut @sullyrocky44 @keylimebeag @pimosworld @casa-boiardi @pedritoferg @paleidiot

Also a special tag for @javierpena-inatacvest because I'm not on a mission to make her a Joel girlie.

#joel miller #pedro pascal #pedrohub #joel miller tlou #joel the last of us #joel tlou #pedro is daddy #joel x reader #joel miller x reader #fanfic #daddy joel #joel miller smut #joel miller fan fiction #joel miller x original character #tlou fic #the last of us hbo #tlou fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction #dom!joel miller #bdsmrelationship #bdsmplay #Spotify

[siribaes]

ANGEL OF MINE (Sequel to Who’s Better Than Me?)

Rio x blackfem!reader (OC - Angel)

“After a plateau in their relationship, Rio sets out to make things right—”

PARING: Exes to Lovers / Past High School School Sweethearts

SUGGESTED TUNES 💿: We Need Resolution by Aaliyah, Best Thing by Usher, Take Away by Missy Elliott & Ginuwine, Think Of You by Amerie, Fallen by Mya, Ella Me Levanto by Daddy Yankee

CONTENTS: 18+ MDNI, SMUT, ANGST, Some fluff, professing of love, cursing, pinv, r*ugh s*x, cre*m p*e, or*l (fem receiving), Semi Redeemed Rio, Rio being a bedroom bully, with a dash of pettiness again lol, slight use of Spanish, a potential pregnancy, etc. (NOT PROOFREAD/UNEDITED)

AUTHORS NOTE: Genuinely I did not think about writing another part, but some ideas popped up in my head and so here we are lol! this part is kinda long but hope y’all enjoy regardless 💖 GIF CREDIT: by me :)

“How I'm supposed to be to you if you keep squirmin'? Be still,"

Angel couldn’t fully register Rio’s instructions over the pounding of her heart. She shivered, squirming in her spot on the bed. Rio lowered his head, placing small kisses on Angel’s stomach. The softness and warmth of his lips spurred her on even more, Angel began to pull away from Rio's touch.

“Don’t move,” Rio ordered, his large hands held her in place, one of them pressed down on Angel's stomach, "You gonna be good and listen, hm?"

“Yes! I’ll be g-good,” Angel whimpered.

Rio smiled down at her, keeping one hand on her stomach, while the other reached for his hardened shaft. He aligned himself with her dripping core, plunging the tip into her wetness, eliciting a soft moan from Angel. He repeated the movement a few times over slowly easing more of him into her. Angel’s whines grew more desperate with each shallow stroke.

With one last stroke, Rio bottomed out, fully, planting his hands firmly at Angel’s waist.

“Fuck, Angel. So fuckin’ tight,”

Angel’s hands snake up Rio’s back, pulling him towards her, as he began rocking into her.

“Angel,”

“Yes, baby?”

“Angel,”

“Hm?”

“Angel!”

With two snaps from her friend, Benny, Angel was pulled out of her reverie and back into reality.

“You good?” Benny asked as he waved his fork in the air.

“She’s fine,” Keke chuckled, “She’s just having a flashback, of Riooo,”

Angel rolled her eyes as she took a sip from her drink. She leaned back into her seat, looking at the passerbyers. It was a beautiful day, the sun shined brightly, casting down warm rays. After being stuck in the office in the all morning, the change in scenery was much needed.

“Have you talked to him?” Benny mused. He twirled pasta around his fork, before eating a large forkful.

“…No,” Angel sighed.

“Seriously?” Keke asked, eyes wide with shock. “I thought y’all hit it off, literally, after the reunion,”

“We did! And the sex was amazing, but—”

“But what?”

“I don’t know, y'all. So much time has passed, and he's changed so much since we were in high school, I feel like he's not the same boy I once knew,”

"I mean duh, Angel," Keke shrugged, "are any of us who we were 20 years ago?"

"She's right, Angel," Benny added, "None of us are the same as we were back then. It's impossible, babe. It sounds like you more scared of what he does not who is,"

Angel leaned back into her chair; arms folded across her chest. Maybe Benny was right. There was never a moment that passed in the day that she didn't want to be wrapped in Rio's arms. To just be with him. Yet, every time Angel wanted to reach out something stopped her. Everything was different about Rio and seeing him at the reunion was a bit jarring. From his clothes to the way he walked, even that damn eagle tattoo itched on his neck. The way he practically had all of their former classmates fawning over him, laughing at all of his jokes. There was a dangerous charm that Rio possessed. Sure, Angel was used to Rio's boy-ish charms after being on the receiving end of it, but this was something entirely different. It was potent, calculated, and completely irresistible. That was developed from experience, an experience that made Angel think twice.

"By all means, I'm not excusing Rio's, nefarious activities," Benny continued, "I just think you should at least talk to the man. The man, you've been in love with most of your life,"

"And from that glow you've been sporting," Keke added, she paused to a sip from her drink, slurping for dramatic affect. Benny and Angel chuckled, "I know that dick was good. So, take a chance! You'll never know what could happen between you too,"

Angel nodded. For the rest of the day, she pondered Benny and Keke's advice. She had to take a chance, she had to try.

----

It wasn't until 10 PM, when Angel pulled to her home. Arms chalked full of groceries, she wanted to stock up on food and other snacks for her much needed staycation. Angel trudged up the stairs, to her humble bungalow, she fumbled with the straps of the shopping bags and her work purse, trying grab her keys. She quickly opened the door, once inside she locked the door behind her and made a beeline for the kitchen.

Angel didn't bother to turn the light on in the kitchen. Her mind was preoccupied with putting the groceries away so she could take a shower and finally relax. So much that she didn't notice a smoldering, Rio leaned against the refrigerator. He watched her as she unloaded the groceries, not wanting to disturb her just yet. He wanted to admire the way her slacks hugged her curves, just a tad bit longer.

With a grocery bag in hand, Angel turned around, immediately meeting Rio's eyes. Her heart dropped to her stomach.

“Fuck!”

Angel quickly crouched down, grabbing the spilled groceries on the floor. Rio crossed the room in quick strides, bending down to help. A quietness fell over them as they loaded the items into the reusable bag.

“…What are you doing here? How did you get here? You know what don't answer that," Angel sputtered. She sat the bag on her breakfast table. She folded her arms over her chest, “No call, no text. I mean, what the hell Rio?”

His expression was indecipherable as Rio peered at her. His eyes continued to trace over her, as if he was trying to commit her features to memory, as if he really needed to for that matter. Rio tipped his head to the side and scratched the light stubble on his chin.

Angel mentally kicked herself, only Rio could look that dangerously good in minimal lighting. She averted her eyes, looking at the calendar tacked on her fridge, before looking back at Rio.

He shrugged. “I could say the same. You didn’t call, you didn’t text. You avoidin’ me?”

Angel scoffed. “First off, I’m not avoiding you. Second, who breaks into someone’s home after not seeing for a couple of weeks—”

“—A month,”

“However, long it was. If you wanted to talk, this isn’t the way to go about it,”

Rio nodded slowly, poking his bottom lip in that ever so subtle way, as he mused over Angel’s words.

“If I called, would you have answered?”

Angel opened her mouth to respond but quickly closed it. Truth was, if Rio did call, she wouldn’t have picked up. Not because Angel didn’t want to, it was complicated. The night that they shared was magical, more amazing than anything Angel could ever dream of, but when the sun rose the next morning and reality set in. They were too different, Angel lived a normal life, she loved her job, her friends, her family, even the “Tinkerbell” car she drove. Her life was routine, with a few moments of spontaneity (hooking up with Rio was one of them). Rio’s life she assumed, was nothing but spontaneity, having to always keep one eye open, always looking over one’s shoulder. Adding Rio into the equation was too much. It was easier when they were younger, it was simpler time. Their love came with no extra baggage, it was pure.

Now, things are much different, Rio was different. He’s a crime boss for pete’s sake, and Angel knew that he didn’t want the same things, as she did. Last time she checked, living the life of a criminal didn’t allow for marriage and kids, not in the way Angel wanted anyway.

“Rio,” Angel began, the dropped her arms, and twiddled with her fingers, “you…we, we are just different,”

A deep sigh escaped Rio. When Angel finally met Rio’s gaze she could see the cracks in his resolve. His jaw was tight, and usual brown eyes carried a hardness in them. Rio ran a hand across her features, rolling his shoulders while doing so.

“You breakin’ my heart, Angelita,” Rio took a few steps forward, now standing only a few away from Angel. He easily towered over her small frame, “what’s so different about me?”

“Y-you’ve changed, I’ve changed,”

“So?”

“So?! This is serious, Rio, are lives are completely different, you don’t want the same things as me,”

“Bullshit. I need real, Angel. Why are you pullin’ away from me?”

“You’re a fucking criminal, Rio!”

A huge wave of embarrassment and guilt washed over her, she quickly buried her face in her hands. She couldn’t bear to look at Rio after saying what she said. How could she react like that? Regardless of her aversion to what Rio does, he deserved more respect than the outburst she just had. This was the man she’s been in love with since she fifteen, he deserved better.

Angel felt Rio gently wrap his hands around hers, and pulled them away from her face. He then tilted Angel’s upwards to meet his gaze. Rio searched her eyes, seeing the guilt in them he softened.

“You scared of me, Angel?”

Angel froze. Her mind traveling back to the night they spent together, and the glimpse gun she saw as she left his place. Her mind drummed up all of the scenarios that could happen, flashes of him in an orange jumpsuit behind bars, and his name across the headstone in the graveyard. A future that she never wanted to see, but in a way already happened. A little into Angel's first semester of college, word got out Rio was going to prison, it broke her. She couldn't bear to see him like that or worse, 6 feet under.

So, to answer his question was she scared of Rio, no. Was she scared of what could happen to Rio, absolutely, Angel loved him too much just to be okay with could happen to him. Or what he could do to others.

"Hey, hey," Rio spoke, pulling her focus back to him, "there you go wonderin' again. Tell me, what's going on in that pretty head of yours?"

Angel sighed. “...I don’t like what you do,”

Rio dropped his hand away from Angel's chin. He nodded slowly, processing. A quietness fell over them, as they stared wordlessly at one another. Rio's eyes slowly trailed down towards Angel's chest. She felt the breath hitch in her throat, when he reached towards her. Gently, he lifted the necklace she wore. Rio held the angel pendant between his fingers, the pad of his thumb softly tracing over the figure's wings.

"You kept it," Rio spoke, his eyes combing over the figure with Angel could only interpret as fondness. Her heart fluttered. "You know, I put in mad work tryna get this. Cutting grass, washing cars, all that shit. I wanted you to feel good. I wanted you to know I loved you,"

"Rio..."

"Por siempre y para siempre, forever and always. That's what's engraved on the wings. Angel, you're my forever, you're my always. It's only been you,"

Angel felt tears prickle at the corners of her eyes. This is the most vulnerable she's seen Rio, ever. To hear him speak with such sincerity and conviction, Angel couldn't help her heart swell with love.

"My business is my business, and I can't change what I did and all the choices I've made. But being with you made me realize, mama that shit has an expiration date," Rio brought his hands to Angel's face, and cradled her soft cheeks, "I can't promise that I'll magically become a better man over night, but I want to try, for you will. 'Cause I don't wanna loose you mama, not again,"

Without a second thought Angel leans forward and kisses Rio. Their kiss was sweet, tongues moving in tandem as Angel snaked her arms around Rio, pulling him closer to her. Her fingers caress the top of Rio's head, soft touches rubbing at his scalp. Rio lets out a throaty groan, its vibrations straight to Angel's core. A flush of heat rushes through her entire body. She breaks the kiss.

"I wanna try, Christopher," Angel whispers. She nuzzles Rio's nose. He pulls away slightly, to see her face fully. A smile blooms across his face. He kisses her again.

"Yeah?" Rio's smile grows wider seeing the sincerity in Angel's face.

"Yes, baby," Angel nods, biting her lip.

A flicker of lust danced in Rio eyes. His tongue swiped across his bottom lip, while his hands drifted towards Angel's bottom. Rio's large hands squeezed and palmed her ass. He landed a firm smack on her ass.

"Rio!"

He chuckled. "Go upstairs, and get on the bed, how I like," Rio mumbled against her cheek, before placing a soft kiss there.

Angel didn't waste any time, she raced upstairs to her bedroom, completely forgetting about her groceries in the kitchen. She kicked off her heels, stripping off her slacks and dress shirt. Angel sat on her bed, legs spread out for him, in only her bra and panties. Coincidently, in his favorite color, green.

Minutes seemed to drawl into hours as Angel waited. Her heart rattled against her chest, as Angel's mind raced at the possibilities of what Rio was going to do to her. Another a minute or so passed when Angel heard Rio's footsteps coming up the stairs.

He appeared in doorway with two bottles of water in hand. He smoothly entered the room, eyes glued to Angel, he settled on a spot in front of Angel's vanity. Rio sat one of the water bottles down on the table, while he opened the other, taking a quick sip. His were so heated, so blazed as they roamed Angel's body. It felt like invisible hands were rubbing and caressing her all over.

"You look good, mama. All spread out for me. Shit, lingerie in my favorite color too..."

"All for you, baby," Angel cooed.

Rio's lips tipped into small smile. He took another swig of water. He sat the bottle down, putting the cap back on.

"I'm not gonna lie, you hurt my feelings, when you went ghost on me..."

"Rio, baby, I'm sorry–"

"Sshhh," Rio hushed Angel with a finger to his lips, "All is forgiven, but you got make it up to me. You gonna make it up to me, darlin'?"

Angel nodded.

"Play with that pussy for me."

Angel slowly peeled out of her panties, making a show out of it, she made sure that Rio got a view of her ass. She flung them to the side, returning her previous position. Widening her legs, Angel's fingers found themselves at her core, swiping at the wetness, she began to rub taut circles on her clit.

"Fuck!" Angel whined.

"Damn..." Rio voice trailed, eyes zeroing in Angel's core. He hummed in satisfaction as fingers began to unbutton his flannel. "You, look so fuckin' good. You close?"

"Yesssss, I'm so close! I need you soooo bad," Angel moaned as her fingers continued to rub tight circles on her clit.

"I got you, just keep going. I wanna see my pretty girl cum for me,"

Angel felt the familiar knot in her belly as her orgasm began to build. Her wetness pooled out of her the more her fingers worked her core. She felt her pussy flutter when Rio peeled out his t-shirt, revealing his svelte frame covered in intricate tattoos. Seeing his rich skin practically covered ink, tipped her over the edge.

"Ooooh, shit, I'm cummin',"

"Mhm, let it out for me, mama," Rio egged her on.

Angel shook as her orgasm coursed through her, wetting up her sheets. She laid down on the bed, closing her eyes as she rode out the aftershocks, her skin tingling with pleasure. Quick taps on her thighs, brought her back, she opened her eyes to Rio looming over her.

"On all fours, darlin',"

Angel obliged. She turned and faced her faced her headboard. She adjusted herself, making sure her the arch in her back was damn near perfect. Rio's belt and zipper clinked and clanked as he undressed himself. His hands palmed her ass, the callused pads of his fingers felt good against her skin. Angel mewled loudly, when she felt Rio's soft tongue lick down her slit.

"Christopher!"

"You taste good. Sweet as fuck," Rio groaned. "You ready for me?"

"Yes, baby. Please don't play with it," Angel turned her head to look at him, biting down her lip. She gazed into his stormy eyes, clouded thick with lust. With one hand, Rio's fingers trailed down Angel's spine, pausing for second. Then landed another firm smack on her Angel's ass. "Baby! Be nice,"

"Nah," Rio stated firmly, he deepened Angel's arch. He adjusted himself, inching his dick closer to Angel's entrance, "You still got some makin' up to do,"

With no warning, Rio plunged into Angel, bottoming out completely. Angel's toes curled, at his fullness and the stretch that only he could give her. He circled himself inside her, pulling himself out, then plunging back in. Rio tightened the grip on Angel's hips as began to rock into her. She gushed and clenched around his member, nails clawing at the sheets below them.

"Goddamn," Rio hissed, "I feel you tightin' around me. You close already?"

"Oh my god! Yes, you fuckin' me so good,"

"Yeaaaah, that's right me, only me. Nobody else, right mama?"

"N-nobody else, baby, shit! I love you so much, Christopher,"

Angel felt Rio's hips stutter at her confession. It only served as more motivation for Rio, spurring him on, he pistoned into Angel faster and harder. He reached downwards, grabbing a handful of her coils, yanking her upwards.

"Say it again," He rasped in her ear.

"I-I-I love you, shit,"

"Again,"

"I love you, I love you, I love you, Rio I'm cumming," Angel cried out.

Rio held Angel close, fucking her through her orgasm. Angel shuddered, as she felt her essence drip down her thighs, as Rio continued to thrust into her wildly, kissing and nibbling at her ear lobe. He slowed rhythm of his hips, letting Angel's hair go, placing small kisses down her neck and shoulders.

"You did so good for me," Rio breathed out. He softly patted at Angel's plush thighs, as he slowly pulled out. "Face me,"

Angel shifted around, laying on her back she spread her legs wide. Rio situated himself between Angel's legs. He stroked himself a few times, biting his lip at the small squelching noises he made. In one swift motion, Rio plunged himself back in, fully engulfing himself in Angel's wet pussy.

"Fuckkkkkk," Rio growled. Angel whined in response. At this angle, Rio was hitting her spongy spot way deeper than before, causing waves of pleasure to flood her entire body. "Pussy so fuckin', shit, nena,"

Both her heart and her pussy fluttered, seeing the blissed out look on his gorgeous features. Rio was always so controlled and reserved most of them, so to see him like this, guttural, borderline animalistic, Angel loved it. She began to feel him throb inside of her, he was close.

"Mhmm, I feel you, baby. I want you to cum inside me," Angel cooed as she cradled the back of Rio neck.

"Yeah? You want me cummin', inside you. Careful, now. I might fuck around and give you a baby forreal,"

Angel cupped Rio's face, kissing him deeply. She pulled away, nodding her head in a wordless confirmation. Rio's eyes softened, at the realization. He bucked his hips, in deep, desperate strokes.

"Shit! Angelita, you gonna look so good, belly fully, with our baby, fuck. I love you, Angel," He grunted, as his resolve was wearing down by the second. The midst of his brutal thrust, Angel felt another orgasm hurdle towards the surface. Her walls spasmed around Rio's dick, screaming out as she came. "Just like that, fuck, eres mio, todo mio, baby, shit,"

A few strokes were all it took to send Rio over the edge. He buried himself in Angel's neck as his blasted his cum inside of her. Rio groans were muffled against Angel's skin. He held her closed as he shook from the pleasure, shooting thick, hot ropes of cum inside of her. Angel wrapped her legs around him, she didn't want to miss a single drop.

A calmness fell over them, as the breathed in tandem, hearts following the same rhythm. Rio lifted his head up, resting his chin on Angel's chest. Warms hands rubbed soft circles against her skin. He gazed at her, nothing but love and stardust in them.

"You're gonna be a good mom," He mumbled.

Angel smiled softly, she rubbed at his shoulders. "And you're gonna be a good dad. I love you, Christopher,"

"I love you too, mama. Por siempre y para siempre."

#siribaesfics #rio x reader #rio x blackfem!reader #rio x blackcurvy!reader #rio x black!reader #black fanfiction #poc fanfiction #rio smut #rio good girls fanfiction

[cacoetheswriting]

pearl: june & july 1985

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader word count: 4.5k chapter summary: reunions aren't always happy on the first try.

content warnings: best friends to lovers, slow burn, mutual pining, adult language & mature themes, stubborn idiots in love, quite angsty, a little fluff, mentions of the upside down / blood / character death / loss of a parent, grief and grief management, emotional hurt / comfort, self-doubt / insecurities, mentions recreational drug use, use of pet names - if i missed anything, pls let me know!

pearl masterlist

June 20, 1985 

With another failed senior year behind his belt, Eddie was feeling mighty sorry for himself.

He really banged on graduating this year so he could leave Hawkins behind forever, along with all the memories he had associated with this place.

Memories of you.

His grip on reality was slipping and this time it wasn’t because of the weed.

Yeah, he smoked the devils lettuce more over the last six months than ever before, but that’s not what had him tripping. You did, or rather the memory of you and how badly he fucked everything up before last Christmas.

Starcourt Mall had quickly become the only place in Hawkins not tainted by the memory of you.

Eddie didn’t like coming here, it was too colourful, too cheerful. On afternoons like this though, when he found himself reaching for Pearl and the scarf you left behind, Starcourt Mall was exactly where he needed to be.

Turns out that, unfortunately, the universe had other plans. Apparently it didn’t want him to escape this literal hell that’s been seeing you everywhere he went, or hearing the sweet sound of your voice in every possible surrounding. Apparently the universe didn’t want Eddie to forget you despite his desperate need to.

A belief affirmed when Eddie walked by the food court.

“Freedom is just another word for nothin' left to lose. Nothin', don't mean nothin' hon' if it ain't free.”

What the fuck— he froze in his spot, just outside Scoops Ahoy. At the end of the locale, behind the till, was the girl he'd been desperately trying to get over, and right next to you, singing his own terrible rendition of Me and Bobby McGee was fucking Steve Harrington.

Eddie's jaw clenched instinctually and his fingers balled into fists at the sight in front of him. Fury began to burn through his veins as you tilted your head back in laughter at Steve dancing around you, holding an ice-cream scooper in front of his face like a microphone.

Not only were you back in Hawkins and the metalhead somehow didn’t know, you were also hanging around Steve the Hair Harrington, singing a song deemed to be only yours and Eddie’s.

Back in December, when you two saw each other last, you gave Eddie shit for lending a tape of what you yourself declared to be the album that’s defined your friendship. Even though the underlying subject of that argument was larger than the tape in question, looking at you now, Eddie was hurt. 

Yeah, it was mostly his fault you weren’t friends anymore, he knew that. But despite his shitty behaviour towards you, this was a stab in the back 'cause you were twirling around Harrington, singing along, “Good enough for me and my Bobby McGee”, as if nothing you shared with the metalhead mattered.

Eddie observes as you playfully slapped Steve’s chest, the biggest smile gracing your features. He didn’t realise just how much he missed seeing your smile until this moment, and every fibre of his being ached because he wasn’t the reason for your happy reactions anymore.

Time seems to have come to a standstill.

He's not sure how long he's stood there shamelessly staring, but whatever spell he found himself under is broken when a group of kids runs past him. In that same moment, you disappear into the back of Scoops Ahoy and Eddie knows he doesn't have long before you return so he hurries inside — maybe Harrington can give him some answers.

“Ahoy, how can I help you today?” Steve announces excitedly when Eddie approaches, however, the playful charade is just that, a charade. The second the metalhead stop at the till, Steve leans in close and grumbles, “She doesn’t wanna see you, man. Either get some ice-cream or get lost.”

“How do you know I’m here for her?” Eddie scoffs, trying to play tough.

Harrington rolls his eyes. “Dude, you’re not fooling anyone. I freaking saw you standing out there for the last fifteen minutes, eyeing her like she’s some prize you can never win.”

The sigh that escapes Eddie's lips is defeated.

“Look man, I’m not here to cause a scene, okay? I just wanna know how long she’s been back in Hawkins.”

“And then you’ll leave?” Steve sounds sceptical but Eddie nods 'cause regardless of what the King of Hawkins may think, Eddie really wasn’t in the mood for some big confrontation.

“Okay dude, okay. Ehm… I really shouldn’t be telling you this, but she dropped out of college in early March and was back here about a month later so… guess the answer you are looking for is April.”

April. You've been at Eddie’s fingertips for the guts of three months and he didn’t have a clue. How the hell did you manage to steer clear of him for this long? Hawkins isn’t that big of a town.

“Now, are you getting a scoop or—”

“Nah man, I’m going.” Eddie mutters and shoots Steve a weak smile. “Thanks, eh… I appreciate you being honest with me. I don’t know what she told you—”

“Munson, whatever went down between the two of you is none of my business. All I know is she made it quite clear she didn’t want to see you and as her friend, I owe her to see that request through.”

Sliding his hands into the pockets of his jacket, Eddie chews down on his bottom lip.

“Yeah, I get it. See you around, Harrington.”

Dropping his head, Eddie's exit is just as quick as his entrance. He does make one more mistake though. He decides to look back at the till. Not really because he thought he’d see you again, but that’s exactly what happened. You're at Steve’s side again, only this time your attention is elsewhere.

You are looking right at Eddie, a perplexed expression on your face.

The metalhead lifts his hand and waves at you rather awkwardly. To his surprise, you do the same. The action, albeit small, is enough to ignite a glimmer of hope within the curly-haired boy. One that's quickly squashed by a feeling of resentment and he heads in the direction of the exit as you follow him with your longing gaze.

“You said you didn't wanna talk to him,” Steve defends his actions for shooing Eddie away.

“I know.”

Over the last couple of months, Steve Harrington had become your knight in shining armour.

Ever since Christmas of 1984, he’d been at your beck and call, from driving down to see you every other weekend while you were still at college, to helping you with various basic chores for your mom. 

You weren’t quite best friends, but you were inseparable. Steve made moving back to Hawkins easier. He was actually the first person you told about your decision to drop out and the boy couldn’t have been more supportive. He even came with you to convince your mom this was for the best — although, it was not like she needed much convincing because ever since your dad passed… well, she hasn’t entirely been herself.

She is a big reason why coming home was the right thing to do. Your mom needed you now more than ever and you needed her just the same.

To say you hadn’t quite come to terms with your dad’s death would be a severe understatement. Yes, you learned how to cope with the day to day, and honestly, you were on the right path to fully allow yourself to feel all the emotions you'd been somewhat suppressing, but then you found out the truth.

Back in February, you came to visit your mom for her birthday. At first, she didn’t want anything extravagant, but after bumping into Karen Wheeler at the store, your mom decided that company is perhaps exactly what she needed. “The house has been so empty since your dad’s funeral,” were her exact words.

That’s how you ended up sitting in the garden on the snow-covered patio furniture with Steve and a bunch of kids he swore he didn’t babysit.

You don’t exactly remember who let the word Demodog slip first — Steve thinks it’s Dustin because apparently that boy can never keep his mouth shut. Once you noticed the horrified look on all of their faces, you knew it was a word you weren't supposed to hear.

After much nagging and borderline blackmailing, you came to learn a lot more than you had bargained for: the Upside Down, Jane’s real identity, Eleven, along with her crazy superpowers, and most importantly, the events that transpired at Hawkins Lab in November 1984 leading to how your dad really died.

By the time you had gone back to college, the scary creatures those kids described had invaded your dreams. You weren't eating, you weren't sleeping. You basically forgot how to function. Your grades began to slip and it didn’t take long for your to realise you no longer felt a passion towards American Literature.

Although being back in Hawkins terrified you, being around your mom, seeing you smile for the first time since November, and being around Steve, cleared the dark fog that had formed within you. By the time summer had come around, you were genuinely happy again.

That feeling lasted until today.

The second your gaze landed on a leather clad frame with a set of curly brown locks, your heart stopped. A certain melancholy overcame you as his doe-eyes locked with yours. He waved awkwardly and when you lifted your hand to do the same, you realised you haven't been completely happy.

There was an Eddie shaped hole in your heart. It’s been there since your last conversation in December, if not earlier, the funeral perhaps. You just subconsciously decided not to address it.

You watch him hurry away and something inside of you snaps, or maybe it clicks into place. Either way, before Steve can do anything to stop you, you rush out of Scoops Ahoy and in the direction Eddie disappears in. 

He’s not hard to spot in the crowd. His dark attire is easily noticeable amongst all the neon of other Starcourt Mall goers. You debate calling his name, but then again you don’t really want to talk to him with so many people around. Your first conversation since December should be somewhere more private — especially since you're not sure exactly what you want to say. 

Once outside however, you're forced to make a brisk decision.

“Eddie?”

The sound of his name causes him to halt. He slowly spins on his heel and the two of you are now standing face to face, only an arms length apart, for the first time in months.

“I thought you didn’t want to see me,” his tone is surprisingly harsh, “Or did Harrington lie to me?”

“Well, I-I…” you inhale, fidgeting with your work uniform. “N-no, Steve didn’t lie. But then I saw you anyway, outside the shop, and I-I… well, I don’t know exactly.”

The metalhead is agitated. You can tell by the way he runs a hand down his face before crossing his arms across his chest.

You begin to panic.

How stupid of you to run after him like some pathetic school girl in love. How stupid of you to think even for a second you could have a normal conversation considering how badly the last one ended — “Perhaps space is exactly what we need,” the argument is now ringing in you ears, “We clearly forgot how to be there for one another.”.

“Forget it,” you mutter, “I don’t know why I followed you out here.”

You're about to walk back inside when suddenly Eddie’s hand is holding onto your forearm, preventing you from going anywhere. Your shocked gaze shifts to his grasp on you and the feeling of his skin on yours sends a shiver down your spine.

After a split-second, you nervously lift your eyes to meet his.

“Why didn’t you tell me you came home?”

There’s a sense of urgency in his question. Urgency and a hint of betrayal. You hesitate to answer as there are a number of different scenarios running laps across your mind. All you are certain of is you won’t be made to feel guilty for this decision.

“Are you forgetting you’re the one that said we needed space from each other?” You bite back, snatching your hand free from his strong grip. “I’m giving you what you asked for, Eddie. What more can you possibly want from me?”

“Your behaviour is fucking confusing!” Eddie yells, earning the two of you some rather questionable looks from other patrons of Starcourt Mall. He’s quick to notice the odd glances and composes himself briskly while taking a step towards you.

“I’m supportive, you’re agitated and then ignore me. I try to give you room to breathe, you give me shit for being a bad friend. I stand up for my own feelings, it’s wrong. I tell you what you want to hear, I agree about spending time apart, and you follow me out here only to be a bitch. I’ve done everything you wanted these last few months and you continue to give me a hard time.” Eddie exhales sharply then continues, “Okay, I get it, perhaps you were staying true to our promise by not telling me you were back in Hawkins, but if you really didn’t want to see me, why the fuck did you follow me out here?”

“You actually think time apart is what I wanted?” You ask, focusing on that part of his speech.

Eddie nods, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, and your lips part slightly in shock.

“I never wanted this. I never wanted to be away from you for this long. If you took the time to read the letters I left you, you would fucking know that!” You jab your finger into his chest with all the power you can muster.

He grabs your finger, squeezing it. “I kissed you and you fucking froze me out,” he practically hisses, though the pain in his eyes betrays his angered front “And you're apparently dating Harrington now so fuck me, I guess, for thinking you felt something too.”

“This is pathetic, Eddie. I can’t believe you.”

He opens his mouth for a rebuttal, but he never gets the chance to say anything because you're both interrupted.

“There you are!” Robin hails your attention and Eddie drops his hold on you immediately. “Steve said something about finding you? Can you believe that guy? I literally just got in for my shift and he has me running around the whole mall as if he doesn’t finish work in ten minutes—” She stops, glancing between you and the metalhead.

“Everything okay?” Robin asks.

“Yeah,” you reply, perhaps a little too quickly, “We were just catching up.”

You can tell she doesn’t entirely believe you and honestly you couldn’t blame her since you and Eddie didn’t necessarily display the body language of two people having a friendly talk. But Robin doesn’t say anything to point out the stiff dynamic. Instead, she links her arm with yours and starts to slowly pull you away from the curly-haired boy.

“Is your mom still making bolognese tonight? Do you think she’d mind if I crashed your dinner? I love pasta.” Robin babbles while you shoot Eddie one last look. He dips his head, avoiding your gaze, and begins to trek in the other direction, assumingly towards his van.

Your heart is aching as you watch him go. Once again you are victims of poor communication and seriously bad timing.

July 4, 1985

Holidays really aren’t Eddie's thing.

Even growing up he thought the Easter Bunny was dumb, Halloween just a little too childish, and the magic of Christmas purely designed for people with big happy families — something he wasn’t privy too.

That all changed when you waltzed into his life.

Eddie was quickly fascinated by how you easily made every single holiday special in some way, even the really obscure ones like National Pizza Day, or National Cat Day. By simply being yourself, you made these celebrations fun and unique.

4th of July in particular had become Eddie’s favourite.

Every year, the two of you would enjoy a barbecue at your parents house, Wayne would be invited too. Everyone would watch the firework display from the backyard, and then you and Eddie would leave to camp out by Skull Rock.

The night was usually sleepless. You’d smoke, exchange ghost stories, and fill your stomachs with junk food you had previously taken from your parents' press.

Last 4th July, Eddie almost told you he had feelings for you.

This year, you wanted nothing to do with him.

Wallowing in his own self-pity, Eddie decided to spend this 4th of July in bed. He stocked up on soda and snacks, and planned on getting so high, he would think the fireworks were aliens coming to abduct him. 

He had just about cracked his window open to allow for minimal ventilation during the night, when someone started banging on his door. Uncle Wayne enters moments later, the expression on his face is one of horror, but then also relief and Eddie's stomach twists into a knot.

“Oh thank heavens you’re here, boy.” Wayne exhales.

“Where else would I be?” Eddie questions, slowly crossing his room.

Wayne waves his hand dismissively and turns on his heel, walking away from his curly-haired nephew. A huff escapes Eddie's lips when he's forced to follow.

“Where else would I be?” He repeats.

“Doesn’t matter, kid. Just glad you’re safe.”

“Come on, Wayne. Don’t be like that.” Eddie probes, “You came running into my room as if something happened and now you just expect me to drop it?”

Uncle Wayne sighs. He’s facing his nephew now, hands on his hips. “Thought you’d be at Starcourt Mall for some reason. Glad you’re not is all.”

Eddie's brows furrow. “Starcourt Mall? What’s happening at Starcourt Mall?”

'Cause he's not at Starcourt Mall, but someone he knows, and despite everything, someone he still cares for quite deeply, most likely is. His insides fill with dread. Judging by his uncles behaviour, something bad has happened and Eddie can’t just stand here knowing he could do more, knowing he could at least try to see you.

So he doesn't waste any more time, running back to his room to throw on a pair of disheveled sneakers, before pushing past Wayne to get to the front door.

“Where are you going?”

“Starcourt Mall.”

“Eddie—”

“She could be there,” is all Eddie says. It’s all Wayne needs to hear. He throws his nephew the keys to the van and Eddie hurries outside.

The entire drive to the shopping centre, Eddie is feeling frantic. He still has no idea what happened, but his entire body is shaking. Even though you and him aren’t exactly on the best of terms, at this moment in time, you are everything to him. The mere thought of losing— no, he can’t be focused on the bad things right now.

Unfortunately, he’s right to be scared.

Chaos unfolds in front of Eddie’s eyes the closer he gets to Starcourt Mall. It seems the entire fire department has passed him on the way and as he turns the corner, he knows exactly why.

Bright orange flames engulfed the entirety of the venue. Eddie has never witnessed a fire of this extent, but he is smart enough to know the probability of someone making it out alive are quite slim. All he can do now is hope you weren't inside when the fire started. All he can do is hope he can find you amongst the crowd gathered in the parking lot, before rushing to your house just in case you’ve been there all along. Safe.

He parks the van as close as he can and sneaks under the police tape when no one is looking. There is so much going on, Eddie isn’t sure where to focus his attention. People screaming, children crying, first responders running up and down. His heart is in his throat while he looks around like a headless chicken, feeling frantic.

Suddenly, there’s an arm on his shoulder and he panics some more, thinking he got busted, though when he shifts in his spot to meet whoever has grabbed him, he feels relief.

“Dude,” Harrington drops his hold on the metalhead, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

Even under the night sky, Eddie can see the brunette boy looks rough. Judging by the red-ish bruises on his face, whatever happened to him, had nothing to do with the fire. But Eddie doesn’t care about that right now. There is only one person on his mind.

“Where is she?”

Steve knows exactly who Eddie's asking for and he’s kind enough not to put up a fight. Instead, he points in the direction of an ambulance closest to the burning mall.

-

You had never been more scared in your life.

Stories of the Upside Down had haunted you ever since you found out about the other world under Hawkins, but they had been just that, stories. Then a couple of days ago Dustin showed up at Scoops Ahoy with some Russian code and things quickly evolved from there.

You were convinced you were going to die when the Russians took you, Robin, and Steve as prisoners. You were convinced you were going to die when they chased you around the mall. You were convinced you were going to die when Billy showed up out of nowhere, followed closely by what the kids called a Mind Flayer.

Despite all of the events from the last few days, by some heavenly miracle and thanks to a lot of dumb luck, you survived.

Well, most of you.

Your eyes dart to Max. She’s resting her head on Lucas’ shoulder, patiently waiting for her mom to arrive on the scene. You swallow thickly at the memory of the young girl screaming over Billy’s lifeless body. You can feel her pain. You can feel all of their pain.

Especially Eleven’s. 

Your focus shifts to the girl that saved you all. She’s wrapped up in a police blanket, Mike and Will by her side. She seems frozen. The boys are trying to talk to her, but she’s blanking them out completely. It’s not until Joyce approaches that the young brunette displays some sort of emotion. Throwing her arms around the woman’s neck, you can see her start to cry. No girl deserves to lose her dad. Especially not the way she did. You unfortunately had that in common now.

Sliding your arms into the jacket you were given by one of the fire fighters, you stand, about to walk towards Eleven. You're thinking you can hug her. Tell her you're here for her 'cause there’s nothing that brings people closer than shared trauma. But before you can do any of that, someone steps in front of you, blocking your view.

You lift your gaze.

“Jesus Christ, I’m so glad you’re okay.” Eddie breathes.

In a flash, his arms are wrapped around your waist. You return the hug instantly, squeezing him tight while your fingertips tangle themselves in his bouncy curls. You take a moment to inhale his musky scent. The thought of why he’s here crosses your mind, but you shove past it because at the end of the day, you’re simply glad he is.

The two of you couldn’t possibly be any closer, yet you're tugging at each other’s clothes and limbs as if you were trying to become one. His ring-clad fingers are digging into your flesh while you push your body further into his chest. You can feel his heart beating against you and you're convinced he can feel yours too.

“Fuck, princess, you have no idea…” he whispers in your ear, the remainder of his sentence fading into the night. “I thought I lost you. For real.”

“I’m right here,” you murmur into his hair. You didn’t entirely feel like yourself, understandably so, but you knew in your soul Eddie needed to hear those words.

He pulls back slightly and gently cups your face in his hands. “I don’t know about you, but pretending to hate you has been absolutely exhausting.”

The admission lingers in the air between you, causing a smile to tug at your lips.

“I missed you so much, princess.”

“I missed you too, Eds.”

Corners of his mouth also tip upwards into a timid smile He proceeds to take in a deep breath, his thumbs caressing along your jawline. 

“I-I read your letters,” he admits then lets out a soft chuckle, “Actually, full transparency, I re-read them maybe fifty-six times, if not more.”

Your own smile grows wider ‘cause suddenly everything feels okay again.

“You’re bluffing.”

Eddie proceeds to lift one hand. “Cross my heart,” he says, mimicking his words.

“Those letters are all I have— had of you. I know I acted quite unfairly considering everything you were going through. I know I said some harsh things. Those letters you left me, they made me realise just how much I need you in my life and I should have told you that the last time we stood in this parking lot, if not sooner. I’m sorry, princess,” he pauses, “For everything.”

“I’m sorry too, Eddie.” You express, “I’ve been acting really selfishly since, and even at the funeral.”

But he shakes his head and intertwines his fingers with yours.

“Sweetheart, you have every damn right to be selfish. Losing someone important to you like that… Hell, if I lost you, I would probably burn this whole town to the ground in my grief.”

He grimaces and briefly looks around. “Sorry. Burn is probably the wrong choice of words in this instance, but you get my point.”

The chuckle that escapes your lips is soft.

“It’s okay, Eddie. I-I.. I’m just really glad you came, that you’re here. Suddenly this whole thing doesn’t seem so bad anymore.”

“And I’m glad you’re okay, “ he states and hugs you again, placing a delicate kiss on your crown.

The two of you stand there for a moment, embracing one another. Your hands have since moved to his back, under his black t-shirt. The feeling of his soft skin under your palms is so soothing, you almost forget where you are and the circumstances surrounding your situation.

It’s damn near perfect, hiding from the world in his embrace. And you think perhaps you love him more than before, if that’s even possible considering how much time you spent apart.

“Can I ask you one more thing?” Eddie asks, breaking the spell as well as the hug. He pulls back although his hold on you doesn’t end because he takes your hand.

“Anything.”

The metalhead nervously scratches the back of his neck.

“This is really stupid and it’s seriously not the time to be asking you this, but I just gotta know. Shit. Did you mean what you said in those letters? What you wrote about me?”

You suck in your bottom lip between your teeth. Eddie senses your apprehension because he’s quick to add, “It’s no big deal. I-I was just curious.”

Squeezing his hand, you exhale softly.

“Every word, Eds.”

Eddie fails to conceal a smile. He swings an arm around your shoulder, hand still holding your own, and as the two of you wander back towards his van, you know for sure your feelings for him have only grown stronger — despite everything that’s happened.

You love him with every fibre of your being, though that’ll continue to remain unspoken, for now.

The crossed out lines on your unsent letters being the only tangible proof.

pearl masterlist | main masterlist

& tagging some cool people that expressed interest in this lil series: @cactusangie , @spenciesprincess , @capitanostella , @ashlynnkennedy , @ms1oftheboys

#eddie munson #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson fix it fic #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x best friend reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson best friend #bestfriend!eddie #pearl (eddies version)

[octuscle]

I went to my high school reunion and was reminded of how so many of these guys were the big cocky jocks. I wish I could go back and be a huge cocky teenage jock like they were.

It's 11:00 a.m. and the principle of your former high school is giving an incredibly boring speech on the occasion of the farewell ceremony for the current graduating class. And to the alumni who are celebrating the tenth anniversary of their graduation this year. So here's to you and your former classmates.

You let your gaze wander through the auditorium. Some of your classmates are still as hot as they were ten years ago. Others have let themselves go a little. Unfortunately, you are one of them. Yes, your expensive suit hides a lot. But you can't deny that you are even fatter and untrained than you were ten years ago.

Fuck, now this year's seniors are coming on stage to collect their diplomas. Did they spend all of high school in the gym. Your cock produces precum in greater quantity as you watch the studs pass by on stage. What would you give to get your diploma again.

After an hour, the ceremony is over. There is a reception for the graduates and the jubilarians. Actually, you shouldn't be here. It's only been nine years since you graduated. But there must have been a mistake with the invitations. And hey, some of the guys who had left high school a year before you were really hot, with some of them you had a flirt or a one night stand or two. Fortunately, no one asks you why you are here today. Basically, every alumni is allowed to come to the ceremony. And at least you receive a few compliments. Hehehe, the last year at the gym seems to be paying off. But it's about time, you weren't exactly sporty for long enough.

After an hour it starts to get boring. You haven't been to your hometown for ages. You drive to the mall and stroll through the shops. You were actually unsure whether you should go to the prom tonight. But somehow you would like to. Finally an occasion to buy a dinner jacket. Most of the shops look too expensive for you. Or nothing fits you. But it's 4 p.m. when you stand in front of the mirror of a plus-size men's clothing store. You've been lifting iron for five years. Every free minute. And it shows. And that makes buying suits really difficult. But you look fantastic in that dinner jacket. And luckily it's reasonably cheap. You're just out of college, so your money's not that loose yet. But now just one more coffee and then back home. You promised your parents to have dinner with them before you go to the ball.

Your parents are happy when you ring the doorbell at 6 pm. After the summer, you start your senior year at college. Your mother is already complaining that she won't see you again. And why you still don't have a boyfriend. And whether you would like to adopt children. After all, they want to have grandchildren. You smile and praise her cooking.

Around 20:00, dinner is over. Your father retires to the television with a cigar. Your mother tidies up the kitchen. And you go into the garage to the gym of your father and yourself. Before you go out today, you want to pump up your muscles. Some of your mates want to go to your high school prom later. You are glad that you finally closed this chapter a year ago. For the right training effect, you give yourself another shot. Since you started using anabolic steroids. you've become a beast.

22:00 hrs. Good workout. The guys will pick you up in half an hour. You could take a quick shower. But what for? First of all, you love the smell of fresh sweat after training. And secondly, you'll just be hanging out in the car park in front of the gym anyway, maybe blowing each other. And every once in a while, one of the high school seniors will surely come from the prom, smoke a cigarette with you, and maybe get a blowjob. Or give you a blowjob. Your cock is legendary with the juniors. You're really going to miss some of the seniors next year. But then you'll be a senior in high school and it'll be the year of your life.

#male tf #muscle tf #reality change #chronivac #age reduction #male transformation #muscle transformation #hairy pits

[chromations]

The Robert Plant post that's been on my mind since the jimmy post.

EDIT: tumblr fucked up and deleted half the post AND put it without tags. Now complete

It's easier to write about psychology I relate to. To dive into something so clear, so easy to point out the faults of. Writing Jimmy's story was easy. What I'm writing now is less than.

This is how Led Zeppelin impacted Robert Plant. As usual, feel free to add, and the rest is under the cut. This is gonna be sad (and long)

Anyone can spot how, now, Robert reflects on his Zeppelin days with disdain. He doesn't perform nor relate to the majority of his Zeppelin songs anymore. Of course, just as the rest of the band, he's sick of the press asking for another tour. Another reunion. Another reminder of a dark spot in who we see as the golden god.

What happened?

What *didn't* happen?? At first, Zeppelin started out and grazed the sun. And the sun had been spun for years, so to speak. Popularity, sex, riches, women, freedom, *music*. Who wouldn't want that? Of course, there had been the lyrics written by a guy in his early 20s, the many meanings eluding and warping to the ears of the listener. There was criticism over the different lifestyles, tear gassing, police raids, there was Jimmy and Lori. Even recounted by Jimmy Page (Through the On This Day feature), they'd perform in Memphis, only to be stopped by a man with a gun when they'd wanted to perform an encore.

Still, each life had its faults. Robert would write Sick Again's lyrics with the groupees in mind, with the underlying sadness for what Lori had gone through.

Come 1975, and the wax starts to melt. Jimmy starts on heroin at some point during their tours that year. After Plant's family flies out, he and Robert vacation in Morocco. After, in Greece, Robert is driving with his family, and they get into an accident: Almost fatal on Maureen, a broken ankle + elbow on Robert, and bruises on the kids. Back in England, they'd receive care... Only for Plant to have to leave England due to his tax exile. He'd spend the time in a wheelchair, writing and developing Presence. Achilles Last Stand, about his time in Morocco with Jimmy, previously called The Wheelchair Song. Tea For One, about the loneliness and despair on tour, of being away from his family. For Your Life is about a friend of Robert's who had been heavy in drugs. Quote from faroutmagazine, it's reflected that Presence was "a cry from the depths"/"a cry of survival"

Presence is often shat on for what's perceived as a lackluster, boring, rehashed album. While I see where these statements come from, Presence happens to be my favorite album.

In 76, Presence is released, and in the same year, Zeppelin's concert film The Song Remains The Same, to make up for the canceled tours in pursuit of Plant's recovery.

1977 comes around. American tour. Everyone's unsure if the band will perform the same after such a hiatus, but it works out. Mostly. Page, as in my other post, is emotionally unavailable, to say the least, in his own struggles. The band in total is still imbibing in heavy drug usage (JPJ, however, more discreet with his use and not to be found in embarrassing situations), but the tour breaks records, a heavy hitting comeback.

Icarus falls, the zeppelin crashes.

Come summer, the third leg just there, and Robert gets the call: Karac Plant, his son, passed while he was away. The cause had been an unknown stomach illness, and he couldn't have even been there for his son. Gut wrenching. Karac was 5.

Tour canceled, and the last time Zeppelin played North America, Plant flies back home with Bonham and Richard Cole at his side. Jimmy and Peter Grant remain in America, while Jones takes time for vacation. During his time of immense grief, Plant heavily considered quitting music all together to be a teacher, as he just wanted to be with his family. While everyone else was off flitting about, Robert says John Bonham was the only one really at his side for the entire process. Out of the members of Zeppelin, Bonzo was the only one attending Karac's funeral at Plant's side. The darkest, most heartbreaking moment of your life, and your friends aren't around (Of course Bonham was, of course he was around. They were best friends). Jones had said, later, with what Elvis dying, all he knew was that he (Robert) should have his space. Lacking etiquette and not knowing consolation shouldn't mean you (in context, Jones and Page) lack the ability to be there for your friend, though.

Robert never fully got over Karac's death. I wouldn't blame him. He wrote multiple songs over the years honoring his son (All My Love, Blue Train, I Believe).

In addition, he would have a talk with himself, in which he would quit drugs. Quote below.

After everything of 1977, the future of Led Zeppelin became uncertain. Just about silence for a long time, while Plant went through the grief process.  About 1977, he says: “[it was] the year it all stopped for me. Nothing could make it all right again and nothing ever will.” 

"During the absolute darkest times of my life when I lost my boy and my family was in disarray, it was Bonzo who came to me."

Finally, Page and Bonham convince Plant to stay in music, to stay with Zeppelin, when Jimmy told him to take a break until he's ready, and that the band is nothing without Robert.

Zeppelin returns in 1979, though the light has dimmed. Jimmy and Bonham lose themselves further. If you take a look, In Through The Out Door is largely about Robert's feelings once more. When recording and writing, it's often said that the band had split in two: Sober (Plant and JPJ) and not sober (Page, Bonham) . While Plant and Jones wrote and composed, the other two would fail to show up on time, sometimes even at all. As previously mentioned, All My Love and I'm Gonna Crawl are tributes to Karac. In The Evening is about the struggles and stress faced even through his stardom and wealth.

Carouselambra tells the story of Zeppelin's fall. From kings, gods, to rust. In particular, it details the loneliness and betrayal felt by Plant after his band mates failed to be there for him.

"Where was your word, where did you go?

Where was your helping, where was your bow?

Dull is the armour, cold is the day

Hard was the journey, dark was the way, way

I heard the word, I couldn't stay, oh

I couldn't stand it another day, another day"

In particular, "Where was your word, where did you go?" struck with me.

The rest of the album is filled with lighter, story centered, and explorational songs. Plant knew that while Zeppelin was there, it was nearing its end. Come Knebworth, a great show, but Robert is different, you see it in his eyes. The naivety, the innocence, the belief that he could have it all, has faded.

And nobody else is the same at knebworth, either.

Fast forward a year and John Bonham dies, god rest his soul. Led Zeppelin breaks up. Robert loses his best friend and son in the span of 3 years.

Icarus burns. The zeppelin crashes.

Robert distances himself from the rock scene, exchanging most of his heavy vocals to explore different genres of music. He shies away from Zeppelin, but the public is calling for more. An encore. A reunion. Each one goes wrong, between being too stoned and ill timed, the improper rehearsals, the matter not being taken seriously.

Page and Plant starts and Robert finds himself back in his old shoes, polished and new. He enjoyed it this time around, digging up unreleased material and playing it "Unledded."

The masses want more. The golden god, playing the same old tune and having to visit the same old wounds of life. They want the sun to shine like it had been touched again, but the sun shined differently back then. The public dooms him to the same old song he's been fighting to escape, but the song doesn't remain the same, the song has changed.

He's still beautiful. Still Robert Plant. But he's not the same as he was, he's not the bright, young boy performing Stairway to the crowd for the first time, or 50 playing as Page and Plant. He's past that.

December 10th, 2007, O2 Arena, London. He says good evening. One last show. Jason Bonham on drums and backing vocals. John Paul Jones, keyboard and bass guitar. Jimmy Page, electric guitar. And himself, Robert Plant. A legendary show, honored to Ahmet Ertegun.

After, Jones and Jimmy want to continue with a reunion. Robert doesn't, won't. He has a solo career. He's fought to free himself from the golden boy he was. This isn't him anymore. These aren't his songs.

He grows disconnected from his songs of Zeppelin, a lifetime ago. He grows to hate stairway, until it's 2012 at the Kennedy Honors Center. Heart performs Stairway to Heaven with a choir and Jason Bonham. Robert tears up, seeing his best friends son out there. In that moment, he grows to appreciate Stairway: Only if it's sung by a younger voice, though.

The media wants more. The people want more. They will always want more, it's never enough, but he can't sing a song that's lost its meaning to him.

Robert Plant is a man of many times. The golden god we know of now is eternally different from who he was. I will always love him through all walks of life, each and every stage.

#robert plant #led zeppelin #tw child death #i guess

[basementdoll]

Wait And Bleed

Murderdolls were on a high with their 2002 debut album. Before Joey Jordison knew it, Wednesday 13 had 30 new songs written…but was going it alone.

Words: Dom Lawson

On July 12, 2003, the band that Slipknot drummer Joey Jordison had formed with his friend, vocalist Wednesday 13, as a bit of light relief from the relentless touring and ferocious intensity of his day job, performed to a sold-out Brixton Academy in London. Within a year of releasing their debut album, 2002’s brilliantly snotty Beyond The Valley Of The Murderdolls, this goofy, sleazy horror-punk side-project had evolved beyond all expectations, like some kind of many-headed Frankenstein, and won the hearts of thousands of fans. In the UK in particular, Murderdolls rocketed from nowhere to the brink of hugeness, accruing a hysterical army of red’n’black-clad admirers who had fallen wholesale for the band’s party-all-night-and-fuck-the-consequences philosophy. What started as a liberating side-project had mutated into something with the potential to conquer the world…all of which makes the fact that Murderdolls left Brixton, buggered off back across the Atlantic and then vanished for seven years somewhat confusing.

But now it’s the summer of 2010 and Murderdolls are back at last. And so, as Joey Jordison and Wednesday 13 settle down on a small leather sofa in the air-conditioned downstairs bar of a swanky Soho hotel to speak with Metal Hammer about their reunion, imminent comeback and brand new studio album, Women and Children Last, it’s finally time to ask the question: Gentleman, where the fuck have you been?

“We don’t bullshit and there’s no reason to lie.” says Joey, shades on and as serious as hell. “After we got done with the tour for Beyond The Valley Of The Murderdolls, we ended on a high note at Brixton Academy, but then of course I had to go back and start up Slipknot again. Me and Wednesday were still in contact and he had demoed like 30 songs and sent me a CD, but the next thing I know, he’s doing a solo record and he didn’t tell me! I didn’t understand it. I was like, ‘Don’t you wanna do another Murderdolls record?’, but I can’t tell him not to go and do what he wants to do, you know? So I had to go and do my stuff with [Slipknot album] Volume 3 (The Subliminal Verses) and we did the whole tour, and we met up again during that tour. We hadn’t talked in a while, so it was kinda weird, but once we talked and crossed paths…”

“We met in a trailer at Rock Im Park in Germany.” recalls Wednesday. “It was 100° and all the crew people were like, ‘Get in there and work it out!’ and they threw us in there and shut the door! That’s when we sorted everything out.”

Having patched things up after what sounds like a fairly minor falling out, Joey and Wednesday still didn’t exactly rush into a Murderdolls reunion. In fact, another five years have passed since the initial exchange of apologies and explanations. In terms of squandering momentum, this hiatus will take some beating, and yet Women and Children Last oozes a level of intensity that was never even hinted at by Murderdolls first time round. Apparently absence makes the fire blaze harder…

“To other people, eight years [between albums] must seem like a long time.” says Wednesday. “But if you think about fuckin’ everything that Joey’s done and everything that I’ve done in that period, that’s a lot of shit! Combined, we’ve done more than bands do in a 20-year period. Joey did two Slipknot records, a Ministry tour, played with Korn, did Roadrunner United, produced 3 Inches Of Blood and played with Satyricon and I did three solo records, an EP, two country records and started a whole new band…”

“We were never enemies at all.” adds Joey. “We just got confused. After we met up again, we were on speaking terms and having conversations by texting and we were thinking that maybe we’d just let Murderdolls be the band with the cult following that it was and let sleeping dogs lie. But then the moment of clarity came to me about two years ago. I was at home on a break and I was sleeping on my couch and Headbanger’s Ball was on and there was this spark that jolted me awake. The metal scene in America and also in Europe, it’s all the fucking same now. There are some great bands, trust me, but everyone’s the same now. Labels are trying to survive because they’re going down the tubes. It’s all about who can play double bass the fastest. There’s no rock stars anymore. I called Wednesday at that point and I’m still in a sleep haze and I said, ‘Wednesday, I want to make another Murderdolls record!’”

A world apart from the comic book kitsch and pun-filled sloppiness of their debut, the second Murderdolls album might as well be the work of an entirely different band. Although still imbued with the hook-packed sleaze metal sensibilities that made old songs like Dead In Hollywood and Grave Robbing USA so irresistible, the new songs seem to have been beamed in from somewhere much darker and more real than their predecessors. There is no shortage of macabre humour lurking amid the pounding riffs and roar-along rage of Chapel of Blood and My Dark Place Alone but while Beyond The Valley…was all about taking the listener into a grim but ludicrous fantasy world, this record sounds very much like the work of men on a sincere and heartfelt mission. Murderdolls 2.0 mean every last fucking word, and as a result they have become a hundred times more believable. 

“I said, ‘If we’re gonna do this, it has to be full bore and we have to make a real record.’” says Joey. “The first record is great for what it was and I love it, but I consider this to be the first Murderdolls record. This is the first time we actually sat down with a vision and wrote songs together, and it’s been one of the most gratifying records I’ve ever made.”

“We wrote all these songs from scratch, a few feet away from each other in the studio.” grins Wednesday. “The first song we did was Homicide Drive, and the drum take you hear on the record is the first take we did. It all happened that naturally. It was really easy and it was fun. We had a fuckin’ blast making this record.”

Just like their favourite band, Murderdolls fans may well be a little bit older and wiser eight years on from that first flush of anti-hero worship, but the goofy, light-hearted side of the band was always a major part of their appeal. As a result, there may be some who find the idea of a more serious Murderdolls a little alarming, but despite injecting their sound with a little more substance, Joey and Wednesday are still firmly committed to delivering the rock ‘n’ roll goods. It’s just that this time round the fire in their bellies is for real and not just cheap whiskey afterburn.

“It’s still fun but it’s more fun for me because I get to sing about personal stuff now.” explains Wednesday. “I’m not the same guy you saw before. This band has changed - this is a whole new Murderdolls, in terms of what we’re bringing to the table. When I sing My Dark Place Alone, that’s very personal to me. I’m going deep into the lyrics, and that’s something I’ve never been able to do before.”

“The first record, you could say we were a dumb horror punk band or something like that.” adds Joey. “The new one, this is like my other Slipknot, even though they’re like apples and oranges. On this record you go from a song like Chapel Of Blood to Drug Me To Hell, and then songs like Nowhere and Summertime Suicide and it starts getting poppier. It’s kinda like Slipknot, with all that diversity, even though we’re a rock ‘n’ roll band. That’s what’s gratifying to me, having a band that has its own style but is able to inject its own identity into each song. When I used to play in death metal and speed metal bands, it was easy to sit there and write a million riffs. The biggest challenge is to write an actual song, and only then do you know you’re a real songwriter.” 

If everything goes to plan, the new Murderdolls album should swiftly restore the band to the levels of popularity they were enjoying when they took their extended hiatus. But if anyone needs convincing that Women And Children Last is the real deal, they need only acknowledge the presence of no less a figure than Mötley Crüe guitarist Mick Mars, who lends some hair-raising solos to Drug Me To Hell and Blood Stained Valentine, two of the album’s grittiest anthems. Mick doesn’t put on his top hat for any old rubbish, and Joey and Wednesday are visibly thrilled when they talk about his involvement in their new record.

“Mick’s one of the great underdogs and never got the respect he deserved.” says Wednesday. “We see him as one of the great rock ‘n’ roll villains, so what better guy to come out and play for us? It was so natural. He loved it!”

“We didn’t want any guests on this record whatsoever, but this was a little bit different.” smiles Joey. “It was definitely an honour to watch him play on our dumbass songs! I was just sitting there, almost blacking out, thinking about when I had Shout At The Devil on vinyl in my parent’s basement and I was thinking, ‘Man, this is fucked up!’”

Mick Mars aside, Murderdolls remain very much a two-man operation in the studio, but live performance is plainly a major part of what the band stands for and so, with that in mind, Joey and Wednesday have recruited a brand new lineup to assist them in their new crusade. Original members Acey Slade, Eric Griffin and Ben Graves have been usurped by new lead guitarist Roman Surman, bassist Jack Tankersley and drummer Racci Shay, who previously played in Wednesday 13’s solo band. Again, as with the songs themselves, fresh blood seems to have invigorated the whole Murderdolls enterprise. 

“The first lineup and the first everything that we did, it was really thrown together.” admits Wednesday. “We did our first video without ever having played together in a room before. Me and Joey did the record by ourselves and then we found these guys through friends of friends and, of course, it was complete chaos. So this time, we purposefully picked people we knew and that we were friends with, and it’s been great. When we finally got on stage, it was like ‘Holy shit!’”

“What we’ve done now and the people we have now, they’re great players and they’re there for the job.” continues Joey. “They’re not there to fuckin’ party. They believe in the songs and they believe in the project and this is a big chance for all of ‘em. They’re all amazing players. I wouldn’t do this if my heart wasn’t completely in it.”

With a new warcry of “We live, we breathe, we bleed rock ‘n’ roll!” the all-new Murderdolls can hardly be said to have altered the main thrust of their philosophy, but everything about the new lineup, the new album and the intense demeanor of the two men steering the ship suggests that they are in this for the long haul this time, ready to do whatever it takes to bully the world into joining in the fun. Serious men on a serious mission, perhaps, but surely there is still plenty of room for a little chaos, mayhem and debauchery? 

“Before, when we walked off stage, everything else was complete madness too.” Wednesday laughs. “It was a fuckin’ circus, but it was great. But we’ve moved on. We want to take the chaos from backstage and put it on the stage!”

“Now it’s just the most violent, fuckin’ sleazy, hideous, heaviest fuckin’ rock ‘n’ roll you can possibly imagine.” concludes Joey, with a snarl. “It’s a real band now.” 

Women and Children Last is out August 30 via Roadrunner Records. Murderdolls will play Ozzfest in September.

-

Six Stringer Joey Jordison’s Weapons Of Mass Destruction

Which albums inspired you to play the guitar?

“The first record that turned me on was the Stones’ Tattoo You. I remember my dad coming home with the album.”

What was the first guitar you owned?

“A harmony, which was like a Fender Stratocaster. I played it in my first metal band in fifth grade. I started playing drums aged seven and soon ditched the guitar.

How do you achieve your sound?

“I don’t normally tell people how I do it! Ha ha! I used a modified JCM 900 amplifier and a MXR distortion on top of that. I’m always involved with mixing and production and everything, so that has a lot to do with the sound on the record. My amp’s been modified.”

Who’s the most underrated guitarist?

“Probably Johnny Thunders (New York Dolls). He had something about him. Guitar is all about passion and playing with soul and style.”

How often do you practise?

“Right now, three hours a day! I’m going on tour with the Murderdolls so everything has to be up to par. It’s odd talking about guitar instead of drums. Drums always came natural to me. I still practise but I’m pretty much in the groove, but for the guitar I have to work real hard.”

What guitar do you play?

“I recorded with my custom BC Rich Bich. I’ve been using Gibson SGs and a BC Rich Warlock, plus I have my signature guitar coming out.”

#AHH so happy to finally have this magazine #enjoy yall #joey jordison #wednesday 13 #murderdolls #metal hammer #i can only scan shit with my phone scanner so rip this is as good as it gets

[noodlefluid]

Random headcanons about the ✨Dumbass twins✨ that no one ask for

Tw: mention of death, anxiety (separation anxuety to be precise), swearing, minor spoilers from the movie, tcest dni

English isn't my first languge, if there's any grammar mistake please lmk, I'm dumb and is 4 fcking 30 in da morning omg I should be worry about my sleeping habits

☁️Fluffy ones☁️

Leo has says dumb shit like "The sun is a planet" with a straight face just to start a fight with Donnie, Raph try to calm Donnie saying that he just wanna see him angry and to not mind him

They actually have the closest relationship among the brothers they just don't wanna admit it

They shared a room when they were kids, they still do it time to time, even when they complain for months to splinter about having separated rooms

Leo call themselves twins, Donnie say that it is imposible because of them being different species and how he would rather die that share another singular dna particle with him

Absolutely go to eachothers room to stared at them say sometime like "Fuck off" throw some shit at them and just leave (Leo close the door a little and the just smash it open when leaving)

There's a show that they watch together, if the other find them watching it without them, they would throw the most dramatic tantrum of history

Donnie: I swear is not what you think

Leo: *sobbing*: How could- *sob* and I thought of you as my brother

Donnie confused: but...we...we are bro-

Leo: DON'T TALK TO ME YOU CHEATER *leaves dramatically*

Raph who just enter the room to grab something: the hell is goin on?

Neither of them know who is the oldest, Donnie says it him cause he is smarter, Leo says is him cause he is the "handsomest"

They absolutely adore team rocket as kids, they always would say "prepare for troubles and make it double" whenever they enter a room (mikey was meowht and Raph wobuffet)

We all now that Leo's straight as a circle. Donnie was the first one he came out to, inmediately went to his brothers screaming "You guys owe me 20!!"

The brothers make a bet about Leo's sexuality and when he would come out, Donnie won both

They didn't wanna share a birthday as kids, but neither of them wanted to be the youngest twin, so they choose 2 days and they rotate who's birthday goes first (like, one year Donnie gets the first day and Leo the second, next year Leo gets the first one and Donnie the other and so on) Now neither of them mind having the same day but they think that the other one wouldn't like to change the tradition

They send dumb memes to eachothers

Donnie can sleep whenever he wants, it's his super power, however he often won't sleep because of his projects

Leo has insomnia and can't sleep, he has to be knocked out

There's a 3am twins reunion in the kitchen, they make a whole pizza party once, Raph ground them

They both know ASL, well...something similar, both have non-verbal episodes, so one time they found some ASL book or something, the thing is that neither of them fully understand them and since they have just 3 figers there were sign that were imposible to make, so they kinda made up they own sign lenguage (they call it TSL turtle sign lenguage), they teach Mikey and Raph, Splinter try but couldn't figure it out, and April knows the basic

Even without the TSL, they can tell what the other think right away without any form of comunication, they just look at eachothers and kinda know what the other wants

Leo looking at a non-verbal Donnie: sup?

Donnie:

Leo: Oh really?

Donnie:

Leo: mmmh...sucks to be you, sorry bud...anyways, want sum pizza?

Donnie:

Leo: what? but we had that one the last time

Donnie:

Leo: ugh, fine. But only because you sound pathetic

Raph who once again just enter to grab something: seriously, what the hell?????

Leo loves kpop and somehow convinced Donnie to practice some choreos with him (Donnie loves Twice but he would not admit it in front of Leo. Leo's favorite groups are BlackPink and Everglow)

🧅Angsty ones🧅

Both of them can feel when the other is in danger

They have something similar to "littermate syndrome" (is when two puppies from the same litter are adopted together and develop a really strong bond, to the point to become dependent to eachothers and have horrible separation anxiety, to thw point to stop eating if the other isn't around for a few dahs) when they were kids if they couldn't find the other they would start crying in one place until someone bring them together

Of course they calmed down as they got older, they were fine knowing the other was alive, but after all the Krang stuff happend they went back to how they were before, sobbing and shaking if the other wasn't around and they didn't know where the other was

In the Krangified future after Donnie died Leo didn't speak to anyone for a whole month, and didn't eat until Mikey or April forced him to, he was pretty much an empty vessel for a while until he decided that Donnie would wanted to see the end of this shitty situation

When someone ask him why he kept fighting his answer was "For Donnie's honour"

One of the things Casey Jr love the most about his time travel is seeing Donnie and Leo together, joking around and just being brothers, just how it was

Leo didn't want to used any of Donnie's tech after he died, cause he was afraid to break it and it was everything that was left from him, sometimes he stoped other from using it unconsciously, he stop once he realize that Donnie make them because he knew he would eventually die, and wanted people to use it

When Casey told the others about their deaths Leo went "I'm the superior twin lmao", everyone just stare at him with a what's wrong with you face "what? That's how I cope" he say while waking up from the 38 hours of sleep he had after defeating the krang

#rottmnt #rottmnt disaster twins #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 2018 #2018 tmnt #rise of the tmnt movie #tmnt incorrect quotes #rottmnt headcanons #rottmnt leo #rottmnt leonardo #rottmnt donatello #hamato leonardo #hamato donatello #disaster twins #teenage mutant ninja turtles #save rottmnt #unpause rise of the tmnt #gimme my 3rd season nickelodeon #ya guys want pizza? #featuring raph who just want to grab his stuffs

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged by @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove and I felt like some public masochism so here we are!

Edit: Holy fuck this got long, putting it under a read-more.

How many works do you have on ao3?

258 although I orphaned 100 works back in 2020.

What's your total Ao3 word count?

Why. Why would you ask me this. Why would you do this to me.

4,578,245 - although I shudder to think how much it will have gone up by the end of the year.

What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly 9-1-1, but I took a nosedive into Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves last year and still have one more fic I'm writing for it. I tend to have quick little detours into other fandoms, which I think is overall a good thing since it helps me flex my writing muscles with different characters and settings. I'm currently working on a fic that is from a show where the main characters are all constantly sassing each other and bickering, and it's pushed me into being witty and sharp with the dialogue and humor in a way that I don't think I have been in quite some time.

Top 5 Fics by Kudos:

Even Steel Blades Need Fire - that's right, a WITCHER fic. HA. You all weren't expecting that!

Leading with the Left - yeah yeah we all knew this one was coming.

Drowning in Dreams (You're My Raft) - I'm constantly surprised this little oneshot I wrote post-tsunami is so popular.

Footprints are More Easily Seen in the Snow - my first Witcher fic I ever wrote and might still actually be my favorite.

Sometimes a Hammer, Sometimes a Lockpick - another Witcher fic! I had a lot of fun with this one.

Do you respond to comments?

I do! I try to respond to every comment I get. I know not everyone can but given the anxiety I know readers have around giving comments I try to show how much every comment is appreciated by me.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I do happy endings, overall, but every once in a while I decide to be evil, so it's a tie between the two fics that are about a character dying:

The Soft Goodbye - a Timeless fic that focuses on the idea that time travel, like being in space for a long time, wreaks havoc on your body.

Full Circle - a Doctor Who fic written years ago speculating about the Doctor gifting a dying Donna her memories back so they can say goodbye.

For those of you in the 9-1-1 fandom however, since I'm sure everyone's looking at those two fics going "wait what," the fic with the angstiest ending is:

I'm Not Breathing Unless I'm Giving You CPR - spoiler alert, but I end this fic on an angsty and purposefully ambiguous note. It's up to the reader to decide what sort of ending they get.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Uh. All of them, I'd say? With the exception of the two MCD fics above, I deliver happy endings. However based on reader feedback, I think I'll go with...

Your Love is an Oil Slick (It Glows Like Rainbows, It Stains My Soul) - the amount of angst in this fic, especially the Bobby and Buck relationship, seems to hit readers extra hard and so the happy ending, especially Buck's reunion with his father figure, is extra joyful and cathartic.

Do you get hate on fics?

I have once in a blue moon gotten "flames," as we used to say. Writing fanfic since I was thirteen, I don't think it's possible to fully avoid a few cranky people with nothing better to do than go around and shit on people's beds. But I've been extraordinarily lucky in the love and kindness I've gotten from my readers.

Do you write smut?

Baby, it's what I'm known for. Honestly sometimes to my chagrin - I hope people enjoy my worldbuilding, characterization, and plots as well - but overall I have a lot of fun writing smut and I love reducing people to slack-jawed water-chugging babbles.

Also someone had to bring the monsterfucking around here so by golly I'm reporting for duty.

Craziest crossover?

I don't do crossovers.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yup! Someone stole my Budde Porn Star AU and turned it into a Rooster/Hangman from TG:M fic. Someone kindly alerted me and I was able to report it to Ao3. Truly a surreal experience.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have! Multiple times. It's deeply flattering and I really admire translators who put in the work to take something from one language and convey the same meanings, flow, and story in another. Translation is a genuine art form, if you ask me.

Have you co-written a fic before?

Yes! A few times, all with my beloved @extasiswings. We did one Timeless fic together whispers like poetry and we had such fun that when I started my first long, plot-ty Buddie fic I Hit the Accelerator (But the Car was in Reverse) and panicked, I roped her into finishing it with me.

We also co-wrote Carbon Date Me, Excavate Me because I was in a bad writing slump and she graciously made everything better, and then A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words (But Love is Undefinable) because she uno reverse'd me.

All time favorite ship?

I've been shipping for so long it's incredibly hard to pick just one, but I think given the sheer depth of my insanity, I have to say Buddie. I haven't had a ship grip me like this in... ever, actually. Honestly after being burned hard on some previous ships in my time, names redacted to protect the guilty (me), I didn't think it was possible to love a ship this much, and yet here I am.

What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I plan to finish all of my WIPs. Once I start a fic I'm committed to finishing it. I do however have a couple fic ideas that I don't think I'll ever actually write.

What are your writing strengths?

Um. Smut, apparently. I also seem to do well with fusions; that is, taking one trope or setting and fusing it with another in a sort of plot mash-up. And people seem to really like my world building.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm a hyper-sexual person who is very casual about sexual relationships and so sometimes I think as a result I have characters think with their cocks a bit too much and jump too quickly into sex, and sometimes there's more smut than plot. Run-on sentences, my beloved (and my editor's beloathed). I tend to write out-of-order and so sometimes little plot details can contradict, not be followed up on, or get lost in the shuffle.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I don't really write dialogue in another language in most of my fandoms, but in a few it's come up and I've approached it in different ways.

In Timeless, the character Garcia Flynn's first language is Croatian, so I would have him sometimes speak in it. In my dragon!Jaskier series, I was able to bastardize some of the Draconic from D&D (mixed with some Germanic root languages) for when he was cursing or communicating with his draconic family. In both cases, the other language was limited to only a line or two of dialogue, or perhaps a single word, so I wrote the dialogue in that language, and then had a translation guide at the bottom of the fic.

This tends to be my modus operandi, an exception being Xenk speaking Thayan, because I couldn't find any actual Thayan for the life of me, so I just describe how the phrase sounds or allude to him muttering something/swearing/etc. Since Ed, a former spy, also speaks Thayan, he can then inform the reader through his thought-process what the Thayan meant.

Occasionally, I will have two characters speaking in another language and simply italicize their words and have a line of description saying "they switch to French" or something similar, since I don't want readers to have to scroll up and down to understand an entire conversation.

In my original novels, however - the Horsemen quartet specifically - the characters communicate about fifty percent of the time through sign language. It's become the lingua franca, because noise alerts zombies and ASL is a silent language. In the books, I write the dialogue as I would English, and simply have the dialogue tag "she signed" instead of "she said."

As someone who speaks other languages but for whom English is their first, I'm not sure I get to really speak on how and when one should use other languages in one's predominantly-English fic in a predominantly-English-speaking fandom and online space. All I can say is that I listen to what others say in regards to what is most respectful and comfortable, and I don't have any personal preference in how a writer handles the use of secondary languages in their writing.

First fandom you wrote in?

I'm not sure which came first since they were right on top of each other, but Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean.

Favorite fic you've written?

Well that's just mean. How dare you. I don't have one favorite fic, that's like asking me to choose a favorite child.

I will say I am particularly fond of In the Gray You are Golden. I banged it out in a day in some kind of fugue state and I do think it's one of my best works.

Someday when I am filthy rich I will commission someone to draw it as a comic, especially the reunion scene between Buck, Eddie, and Christopher.

Tagging, with no pressure:

@princessfbi @buckttommy @extasiswings @kitkatpancakestack @gracieryder (once again I typed your fucking old url like five times...)

aaaaaaand @givemeunicorns.

#mads writes stuff #tagging thing #about mads #princessfbi #buckttommy #extasiswings #kitkatpancakestack #gracieryder #mistmarauder #givemeunicorns

[eclipsedrgn]

𝐄𝐱-𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝'𝐬 𝐁𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝'𝐬 𝐒𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.

Pair: Batsis!Fem OC x Adrien Agreste Summary: After his previous relationship, Adrien began to love a girl that's mysterious and cold-hearted who turns out to be his ex-girfriend's boyfriend's sister! Warning: Dick (28), Jason (24), Tim (20), Batsis (20) and Damian (17). Marinette (17) and Adrien (20). Yes, I've aged up Adrien just a little.

ADRIEN AGRESTE barely reminisce about his life, in fact, he hates doing it. He didn't like to stare into nowhere and thought about his mistakes, no, because he didn't like the feeling of regret. As a child hero, he made a lot mistakes, ones that would risk people's lives and he hated the feeling. He didn't want that feeling. Especially now, with the love of his life. (Y/N) (L/N).

The couple met in one of Adrien's adventure around Europe, after the defeat of Hawkmoth, the reveal of his partner who turned out to be his girlfriend, and then broke up with said girlfriend. Adrien decided to go on a trip around Europe to clear his mind where he met (Y/N) in London attending a meeting from her father's company.

They went on a date and kept in touch after that. (Y/N) moved to Paris after dating for two years, moving on from her life in Gotham where she retired her own vigilante act.

And now, here they are sitting in their home cuddling on the couch where (Y/N) gets a phone call.

Groaning, she didn't glance at the caller ID and answered the call. "Hello?"

"I had expected you to answer after ringing you five times"

"Damian?" she asks sitting up from the couch, "Isn't it early morning there?"

"No, I am in Paris visiting"

"What?! Where the hell are you and why haven't dad said anything?"

"I am here to visit someone. Not you"

(Y/N) deadpans and grumbles, "Don't fucking call me then to say your in France then tell me you ain't visiting"

There was silence before Damian mutters, "I just thought to let you know..."

"Dami... I'm not telling you to feel bad about this but you can't expect me to be nice when the last time you talked to me you told me you hated me being your sister just because-" she paused remembering that Adrien's listening to the conversation.

"Just because I quit" she finished quietly, "Goodbye Damian. Have fun in Paris"

As (Y/N) hangs up, Adrien placed kisses by her shoulder and neck relaxing his girlfriend.

"Who was that?" Adrien asks.

"It was my brother. My younger brother. He's in Paris" she mumbles into the blanket.

"And that's a problem why?"

"Because the last time we talked he told me he hated me... I quit a family tradition and he didn't take it nicely... because I'm technically consider his blood-sister"

Adrien sighs, even after all this years he still didn't know the full story of (Y/N)'s relationship with her family. He didn't bother pushing it because he loves her no matter what, and if telling the story hurts her he's not going to push it.

The next week, Adrien and (Y/N) made their way to his old high school for a little reunion. It's been a while since he's saw everyone especially since their so busy.

(Y/N) was talking to Juleka and Luka who just walked in when they hear a few gasps, looking over to where the crowd is looking they see Marinette and DAMIAN!

She grabs onto Adrien's arm who looked at the couple with wide eyes as well. "That's... that's Marinette"

"Marinette? As in your ex-girlfriend Marinette, who was your partner in crime?" (Y/N) whispers.

Adrien nods. "That's her with her new man"

Damian looks across the crowd when his eyes lands on his sister.

He blinked.

She blinked.

They both just blinked.

"Do you know her Dami?" Marinette asks in a soft tone.

"I... I- yes I do" he replied softly, "I'll be back Habibiti"

(Y/N) backed away slowly before walking away, Damian rushed towards her as he grabs her arm to somewhere private for them to talk. They stop at an empty classroom, awkward silence filled the air.

"I must apologize" Damian spoke quietly, "When you quit the team it completely threw me off guard. We've been fighting as a family for so long the fact that a missing sibling, partner would completely-"

"Dami" (Y/N) spoke quietly, "You've always knew I wouldn't be a vigilante for so long. I'm not Babs, Cass or Steph"

"But-"

"I'm the Wayne girl who settles down, who starts a family. I'm not the Wayne who fights behind the mask for eternity" she defends.

They both paused hearing movement from outside the room. Damian grabbed the nearest possible weapon with was a vase, while (Y/N) resorted to using her hands. In a count of three, the door was open to reveal the Wayne sibling's partners standing by the door. Who coincidentally are exes of each other as well.

"Can someone explain to me what the hell is going on?" Marinette asks, tilting her head in confusion.

(Y/n) glances at her brother who gave her a small shrug, Damian sighs. "Beloved, this is my older sister. (Y/n)"

"And this is the youngest of my brothers, Damian" she introduces to Adrien.

There was a pause.

The two exes blink at each other.

Then screamed, "WHAT!"

#miraculous ladybug #batfamily #batsis x Adrien Agreste #Daminette #eclipsedrgn #batman #batboys #batfam

[lxdyred]

New people in town | Ch. 2 Sneak Peek

Chapter 1 - New people in town // Chapter 2 - How to disappear

Joel Miller x Ex-lover!Reader (She/her), OC!May Miller x Mom!Reader, Tommy Miller x Reader (Platonic af)

Summary: In which a girl discovers how the new man in town — who was accompanied by another teenage girl — and her mother were closely and intimately related once, and how almost two decades after they last saw each other, their reunion could possibly turn their worlds upside down.

New people in town playlist ✨

A/N: English is not my maternal language, Spanish is, so I will take advantage of that in the future lmao. Also if you see any grammatical error, please let me know!

Tag list: Open!

Feedback is appreciated! ❤️

"Joel- I... Joel." Red whispered, taking a step towards Joel, who was looking intently at them, but now mostly at his daughter. "You're here." He whispered. May clung to her mother's arm, just like when she was little.

"You're alive." Joel said in a stern, distant tone.

"You doubted I was?" His words hurt her deep down.

The doubt offended.

"Considering you left suddenly and I haven't heard from you in almost two fucking decades? Yes. If you're offended that I left you for dead, that's not my problem."

"I did what I had to do for my own good, Joel." Frowned the woman.

"Don't give me that. Not now." The man with the last name Miller mumbled. "You left to have a kid — my kid, I assume — out on your own? Are you out of your fucking mind?"

"We were nothing, not even friends. We were just using each other to warm each other's beds!"

"And that's a reason to leave without warning?"

"I left you a letter, where I explained everything."

"A letter." Joel mumbled with a certain tone of disdain, which was accompanied by a small cynical chuckle. "A very mature, not at all pusillanimous way for you to disappear overnight. Just like that."

"Fuck you, Joel."

"That part you did 20 years ago, darling. But yeah - whatever you say! That doesn't take away from the fact that you're a fucking quitter!" Joel exclaimed as he stepped forward, approaching both women.

May was quick to jump up and stand in front of her father, interacting with him for the first time, defiant, motivated to protect her mother. "Shut the fuck up, asshole! You disrespect my mother like that again and I swear to God I'll knock your teeth out."

Joel was momentarily stunned to hear the teenage girl say those words to him, without hesitation, without any fear whatsoever. It really surprised him that his first interaction with his daughter was like that. A small part of him blamed himself for it, for the situation had gotten a little out of control. Still, he quickly pulled himself together and turned his attention to his ex-lover.

"I didn't owe you anything! Not a single explanation, still I left you a letter doing so. But yeah, I do not owe you shit! Not before, and certainly not now, do you hear me?" Red exclaimed between her teeth and with tears in her eyes, pointing a finger at Joel. She felt powerless, hurt and very angry.

"You owe me one. She has a first and last name, and she’s right now, standing and breathing, between you and I."

"I insist. I owe you nothing."

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x original character #joel miller #ellie williams x platonic!reader #ellie williams x platonic!oc #ellie williams #joel and ellie #tommy miller x reader #tommy miller x oc #tommy miller x platonic!reader #oc x reader #lxdyred #angst #fanfiction #reader insert #fem!reader #spoilers #hbo the last of us #tlou #the last of us #tlou fic #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal!joel miller x reader #pedro pascal #bella ramsey #hbo!joel miller x reader #new people in town #i’m gonna cry

[minks-country-club]

Hullo can i know from your twitter thread with auror harry and unspeakable married harry and draco who rescued the draco that saved the unspeakable harry why did auror harry say it's only their timeline that auror harry and recent released draco didn't end up together? thank u i luv your threads

AAAAA HELLO DARLING!! Thank you so very much💜💜💜

So I apologise because I feel like I didn't explain that part very well.

So basically: Draco (in his late 20's), Kreacher and Harry (13 years old) were at Grimmauld Place when Sirius broke out of Azkaban and returned to Grimmauld Place. There was a confrontation — Sirius thinking Draco was Lucius because of the age and looks. However, after talking it out and some convincing from Harry's part, Sirius agreed to make peace and thank Draco for taking care of Harry up until that point. Draco told them everything he knew about the future deaths and that it would be up to them to prevent the deaths this time around.

That night, when everyone was asleep, Death came to Draco to collect him and take him back to his own timeline, saying that Draco had done everything he was supposed to do and there was no reason to keep Draco here anymore and that it would basically fuck up this new timeline if he stayed. Draco expected to die, so he asked Death if he could say goodbye to Harry before handing over his guardianship to Sirius.

It was a very sad, heartfelt goodbye with lots of tears and lots of hugs.

"You still have me," Draco told Harry. "You have younger me, the one in this timeline."

"But it's not the same!" Harry sobbed, "I want both of you! Malfoy is my friend! But you... you're..."

"I know, Harry," Draco smiled sadly. "But there's nothing else I can do. I have to go. But you still have me. You always have and always will. I promise."

"I'll find you," said Harry, full of conviction and tears. "In every life."

Draco only smiled, and didnt dare tell Harry that he wouldnt find Draco again because he would die in Azkaban because that's what he was doing before he went back in time — dying. If he returned to his timeline, he would die.

They hugged for the last time, Draco placing a gentle kiss on Harry's head. Harry didnt want to let go, but he did and watched Draco walk out his room for the last time.

Draco greeted Death downstairs and took his hand.

When Draco woke up, it was to the sound of a prison guard opening his cell door in Azkaban.

"Come on, Malfoy — up you get," the officer said, dragging Draco to his feet.

Confused and dazed, Draco went willingly. They took a portkey to the Ministry where another officer greeted them and took Draco down the halls to a meeting room.

"You have two hours," the officer said, and opened the door for Draco to enter through.

There, Draco was met with Auror Harry (from Draco's timeline) and Unspeakable Harry (the one Draco saved in the past) and Unspeakable Draco (past Harry's husband).

Past Harry married his Draco and made it his life mission to find the Draco that saved him so that he could return the favour and get him out of Azkaban. In doing so, he became an Unspeakable, as did his husband, and travelled to alternate realities to free every Draco still in Azkaban.

However, in doing so, he found that in every universe he travelled to, every Harry was already with their Draco.

Then, Unspeakable Harry and Draco landed in this timeline and knew this reality had to be the one with the Draco that saved him. He went to Minister Shaklebolt and asked him to pardon Draco, providing a pensieve of all his memories being raised by Draco and everything he did to help and just as a personal favour for the Saviour of the Wizarding World. Shaklebolt agreed, which is why Draco was released from Azkaban.

It was a lovely reunion between Unspeakable Harry and Draco, because it had been so many years for Harry, but for Draco it only felt like hours ago since saw Harry.

"So what changed?" Auror Harry asked, seething with obvious anger. "Why is it that in every other timeline, I get to be happy except for this one? What went wrong?"

[A.N. Now, I dont know why exactly in this timeline Draco and Harry didnt end up together since it follows canon events up until after the 2nd Wizarding War, but I suppose it's up to you. It could have only been 1 fleeting kiss or just a small little chat between Harry and Draco sharing feelings.

But its said that a new reality is created every time someone makes a choice with a different reality being created when someone makes a different choice. For example, you could decide to eat a cookie or an apple as a snack. So there will be an alternate reality where you ate the cookie, and another reality where you ate the apple.

I suppose that could be applied here, where most realites Draco decided to take the chance to kiss Harry or decided to open up to Harry about how he's feeling, which lead to a butterfly effect and multiple timelines of him ending up with Harry.

Obviously, in canon, this never happened, which is why Draco didnt end up with Harry. I KNOW ITS CONFUSING AND IM SORRY.]

So basically, in every other reality Unspeakable Harry explored, Draco made a choice to connect with Harry, a sincere moment of vulnerability, which lead to a deeper connection than they originally thought and therefore (through the butterfly effect) allowed Harry and Draco to end up in a relationship.

In this timeline, with Auror Harry (the canon one from the stories), Draco never opened up to Harry or kissed him, which lead to them leading separate lives.

Auror Harry is fucking pissed off cuz that's just not fair but Unspeakable Harry tells him to give Draco a chance and let him give Harry what he's owed — a life of happiness.

"Seriously, mate," Unspeakable Harry whispered into Auror Harry's ear, "you won't regret it. But if it doesnt work out then fine, you can at least say you both tried."

Unspeakable Harry and Draco say goodbye with another round of hugs and tears and another promise to meet again soon.

Auror Harry decides to give Draco a chance for friendship and says he'll owl him before he dismisses Draco.

☆☆☆

So yeah! I'm so sorry, I know that was long and probably very confusing😭😭 But I hope that at least makes it a bit easier to understand. If you have more questions then feel free to ask. Thank you so much for reading my Drarry threads, I'm so glad you liked them💜💜💜

For all the people who don't know what's going on, here are the threads anon was talking about:

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

My Drarry ramblings:

#fanfiction #fanfic #fanfic promt #harry potter #draco malfoy #drarry #drarry rambling #twitter thread #twitter #harry x draco #draco x harry

[bengiyo]

Unintentional Love Story Eps 9 & 10 (Finale) Stray Thoughts

Last time, the truth finally came out, and Taejoon broke things off with Wonyoung in a scene that has really stuck with me because of its intensity. Taejoon accepted the offer from the company to force Wonyoung back into the job as a cruel way to punish both of them. Donghee continues to root for them, but is not receptive to Hotae's advances. Things are kinda sad right now, but I'm really liking how grounded this separation feels.

Episode 9

Glad to see Wonyoung seems to be settling in at work, despite the sneering from last week.

Ah yes, let's hold a pottery class to force another interaction with Taejoon.

I love Donghee. We will fix this relationship!

Is grabbing the other by the scruff their love language?

Nothing like a medical emergency to bring folks back together.

Wonyoung is vibrating with anticipation to help Taejoon again.

I wasn't blown away by the kissing in this so far, but I do want to acknowledge chasing Taejoon's scent in the sweater as soon as he turns around as perfectly romantic and just a bit horny.

"If sparks fly again, I can help you block it." Okay, sir.

"Unrequited love sucks. It really does makes people miserable." Gonna also have to play one of my favorite Babylon 5 scenes now.

I will allow this confession to a sleeping person because of the nature of their current dynamic. I'm also going to allow the shadow kiss on a sleeping person who was pretending to be asleep.

I like the way Koreans enunciate "Christmas Eve." I'm also excited about a Christmas reunion.

That's right, BFF, you tell Taejoon to pull his head out of his ass on this.

Oh no. Donghee's family beat him for being gay. I'm glad Hotae's mom was there to catch him.

Finally, Donghee learns that Hotae has felt this way for a long time.

Wonyoung, please don't read into Taejoon going somewhere with the ex.

I do like Wonyoung refusing his call, though. I think we all need to let go sometimes when people clearly don't like us.

That's right. Tell this thief to fuck off.

You tell him, Wonyoung! If he won't answer your calls or messages, you don't owe him! Give yourself a clean break! You won't be left and read and be expected to root for him to go out with his ex!

Episode 10 (Finale)

Mhmm, look at your life, Taejoon. Look at your choices. What happens when he accepts your rejection? What ya gonna do now?

That's right! Run! RUNNN!

Oh, Wonyoung, I adore you. Truly one of the most earnest boys we've had this year. Seems to be the big trend of the year. Feels like a post-pandemic thing.

Kinda hoped Wonyoung would deepen the second kiss as they made up.

This show just confirmed that Donghee definitely watched Smiley.

We finally meet the friend's wife. We only had her briefly, but I like her.

So the manager used Wonyoung and he was always able to come back? At least this place seems less fucked structurally.

Wonyoung is being bitchy and I love it. Destroy them, sweetie.

Oh good: Wonyoung makes the correct sign for "call me."

I'm also on team Fuck This Job.

I also think we should take advantage of rich boyfriends.

Donghee and Hotae finally making progress in the final 20 minutes.

I'm enjoying seeing Manager Jung cowed.

I like the rings. These two have really grown on me.

Final Verdict: 8.5, Recommended. This show really grew on me in the back half as Wonyoung had a grip on his feelings and clear goals he wanted to pursue. This is probably the most likely a K-drama a BL has felt (@shortpplfedup's description). It didn't gel with me at first, but I ended up feeling fond of all of the characters, and appreciated where they were all coming from. It felt refreshingly adult.

#unintentional love story #korean bl #bl series #Ben watches

[mxpseudonym]

Hi, i'm not sure if you do requests for imagines/oneshots, so my apologies if you dont. Though if you do could you write a Luca changretta x reader imagine where the reader is his childhood bestfriend and they haven't seen eachother in years because the readers family kept Them away from Luca? And then one Day they are eachother again and its a really Sweet reunion? I hope this is alright 😊

Pairing: Luca Changretta x OC (or characterized reader)

OC gender expression: she/her pronouns

Note: I don't write reader inserts much anymore, so I took that liberty but I hope you enjoy. I have a whole backstory of Giada's family, mainly her brother spiraling to get to this point so I just need you to know this ask really inspired me, haha. I've also had this written since like, the week you first asked this I just never got around to editing it and posting. Enjoy!

--

"You're never gonna see that boy again," their brother snarled in her ear.

Everything. Giada's brother had everything he could ask for. Freedom, money, the family business. And now this. Her eyes could only focus on Luca even as she heard the scathing words.

"For once, I'll do anything if," she began a feeble attempt in a quiet voice.

"No." Nick cut her off. "This fucking criminal made a fool of us and you want to ignore it for what? To have playdates? So,”

"It's okay," Luca said, though he was betrayed by his own damp eyes. "It won't be that bad."

"What?" Giada gapped, trembling hands barely grasping the switchblade Nick forced into them.

"Stab the boy, end your alliance," Nick ordered.

There was no use looking around at the gang of devoted men Nick had standing by or even Luca's two friends who looked like shells of themselves. She could only look at Luca. He stepped towards her, and with every flick of the street lights coming in through the junkyard fence along his face, he changed between being the most mature man she knew and still just a 16-year-old boy. Luca grabbed her hand and placed the blade firmly in it. Even at this moment, he took care of her, knowing she'd never done something like this before.

"Don't be scared. It's just the one," He said. Giada felt Luca's arms wrap around her, a false comfort as she heard him grunt. With Luca's hand guiding her, Giada's hand pushed the blade into his abdomen, a clean and deep wound. His thumb stroked the back of her hand. "That wasn't so bad."

"Lu-luca," she whispered, after a moment. The hug weighed her down as he slumped onto her. "Luca!"

--

Giada blew away the memory with the exhale of her cigarette smoke. It had been almost 20 years since getting ripped away from Luca and dragged home. Nothing would be the same after that. She begged and pleaded with her parents to understand her and scold her brother and let her see Luca. But considering the Changrettas never retaliated against the Sparacias, she guessed he promised he'd never see her again either.

Eventually, her family looked at her like they had no idea why she was still on about it. When the pain became too much, she asked to visit her grandparents in Sicily. Her parents considered her responsible enough to travel alone since she was 13, and thought her request was her getting back to normal. But two weeks into her visit she took a potato from her grandmother and began peeling it for her.

"I feel like I'm in a room of people I love, shouting at the top of my lungs. But everyone's decided not to hear me," Giada explained.

"I knew there was a reason you'd visit in the fall. Very unlike you to miss the summer harvest," her grandmother mused. Giada finished the potato and turned to her only solace.

"Nonna, can't I stay here?"

"You're young. So I'll let you run away once."

That one time lasted well into her adulthood, and at 36 she was finally back from running away. There were many things she could miss, but her brother's second wedding, at her Nonna's insistence, was one they could not. The reception was grand and roaring in a stunning hotel her family owned now.

The door she left cracked, opened fully with a creak, and her quiet moment on the stone balcony came to an end. Her eyes remained on the full moon, however, even when she could tell it was her brother by the floral tobacco that wafted around her.

"I'm impressed that you can hold a grudge over your family for so long. Is it so difficult to choose blood over water," he asked, straight to the point. Giada flicked the ash from her stub of a cigarette.

"Why do you always do that?"

"What?" Nick asked in disbelief that there was anything he was at fault for in this situation.

"Why do you act upset like you're mad at me for your plan working? You made up a lie and you separated me from the person I was closest to. Why can't I be mad? You won, right? Everyone believed you. And now all these years later, I can't talk about it because it wouldn't be worth making a fuss over. That's what hurts the most. There's not a week I don't think about Luca, but everyone else is so far past it."

"So what do you want so you'll forgive me? Huh? Money?"

Giada turned her eyes to Nick. He did look handsome on his wedding day, she'd give him that. But he was still a power-hungry maniac who, at his core, was an idiot. How could he be 8 years older than her? Was it their father who made him like that?

"When have I ever wanted your money? Apologize or don't, I don't care. I'll be back in Italy soon enough and you don't have to worry about it."

"Giada, I'm telling you,"

"Isn't that forgiveness?" She stopped him before heading to the door. "And you didn't even have to work for it, I did it myself like always."

"Well you still came back, didn't you?" Nick smirked.

"You're right," Giada confirmed. But so badly she wanted to finish the sentence.

But not for you.

--

It was fucking hot. Giada used to say it was stupid to sneak alcohol during heat waves because it would just make them hotter. Luca chuckled at the memory as he filled a glass of water in the sink.

He was pretty sure there was a Sparacia wedding today, a Saturday. Pretty sure? He already knew Nick Sparacia was getting married again. He kept tabs on the family the best he could without being suspicious. His family had long spat on the grave of his friendship from 20 years ago. Who cares what 16 year olds do? But Giada...

Luca looked down at his bare chest, angling to better see the faint scar that remained. He always wondered why he pushed the blade so deep. He was in the hospital for longer than they expected because of that. But at the moment, he just wanted it to be over for her. 20 years later he'd do it all again. Where the hell was she, anyway? She never was around for the family events, or so he heard through the grapevine.

"Luca!"

Luca's apartment door burst open and his right-hand man ran in. Luca cleared his throat as if that didn't just restart his heart and motioned for the panting man to talk.

"She's here. That girl you're always talking about, Giada Sparacia?"

"I don't talk about her that much,"

"She's in New York," Vinny yelled.

"How do you know that?"

"Because it's a big deal. The prodigal daughter that betrayed a Changretta is back."

--

Sneaking out when you're young was all about finding the right moment. You pass a note to your accomplice, somehow, someway. Then, during a party, offer to help and wait until people aren't paying much attention. At night, wait until your parents check your room for the second time. When you're leaving school, in between classes is best. The best crimes are the ones no one knows even happened.

When you're an adult, Giada found, it's not much different. It was a Changretta worker who approached her while she was grocery shopping with her mother and grandmother. The message was delivered: Luca Changretta would like to see you upstate on Saturday morning.

"I'll get the artichokes we forgot today. It's hot though, so you don't need to come, Nonna," Giada announced over breakfast. Her parents lived alone nowadays with her youngest cousin Damon. They were so happy to have her back that she almost felt bad for leaving.

"Take my car," her father told her, pointing to the keys hanging on the wall. "I'm just happy to see you got passed whatever it was you were hung up on."

"Exactly. You always seemed to understand family over everything except that time you fought with your brother," her mother chuckled. Giada gave them a tight smile as her grandmother patted her knee under the table.

"If we're all done, I'll do the dishes."

Giada's eye twitched over stabbing her best friend in a shoddy junkyard as a child being boiled down to "fighting with her brother" the whole drive to this location. It was a cafe far away from the divided boroughs of their city, a smart choice, though it was farther away.

--

The best way to sneak out of the house is by causing a scene about going somewhere trivial. The Changretta family breakfast concluded and Luca stood and charmed his way around the room.

"Where are you going, Luca?" His mother asked him, making eyes around the room turn to them.

"It's a hot day, and I'm pretty sure the pool will be swimming with... very lovely women. Ah!"

He took the smack from his mother with grace as his brother cheered and chided him for being a scoundrel. All that waiting for the right time stuff was too much work, Luca huffed as he hopped into his car.

He chose the Rose Café nearly an hour and a half north of Brooklyn because he'd been there once when he was checking on the Changretta's expanding warehouses. It was small and friendly, and peaceful. Even when it was crowded, it was quiet and spacious. It was the kind of place, that could easily become "our place."

He pulled up outside of it and paused. There were questions the realistic part of his mind needed the answers to. Would she show up? What if she didn't want to see him? What if she used her complex sneaking out strategy that always left him waiting on her?

He chuckled at the last thought. She'd come.

--

Giada looked in the mirror and tried taking a deep breath. She was too early. Much too early. Early enough to start asking herself all of the questions she didn't have time to entertain before. What if he changed his mind? Did he actually want to see her? What if he wanted revenge? She'd let him, if she were honest.

She swallowed hard. The Rose Cafe bathroom was too small all of a sudden, she needed fresh air. She needed a cigarette.

Giada stepped past the waitresses and hostess, making her way through the lobby and out the door. She dug in her bag, only looking up when she grasped the small tobacco tin. Her body froze before her mind could process.

"Giada," Luca said like a full sentence. He leaned against his Bentley with a cigarette in hand. She ran down the steps quickly, jumping over the last one and wrapping her arms around his shoulders. It was a feat given how tall he was now, but she managed like her life depended on it.

"Luca, Luca, Luca," she gasped. His name was a watery praise coming from her lips as her tears soaked his chest. "It wasn't okay. It was that bad."

It took Luca a moment to understand her reference to the last things he told her, but he only hugged her tighter when he did.

"Why do you always remember every little thing?"

"How could I forget?" She smacked his back. "I could never forget you."

"It wasn't okay, and it was that bad, but we found our way back didn't we?"

"Yes, we did."

>> Luca Changretta Masterlist <<

>> Mx’s Main Masterlist <<

>> Mx’s Peaky Blinders Masterlist <<

#Luca Changretta #request fulfilled! #Luca Changretta x OC #Luca Changretta x Reader #Luca Changretta Imagine #Luca Changretta Friendship

[arowrath]

it’s like what if there was a band. and when u were in 7th grade u found one of their songs on youtube and it was pretty good so u listened to some more and when u were in 8th grade u listened to the black parade during math class every day and you wanted to kill yourself but gerard was in your right ear saying I AM NOT AFRAID TO KEEP ON LIVING and you didnt fully get it at the time (i think i do now) but you listened anyway and you kept on living. and what if u were in 9th grade and listened to planetary go and bulletproof heart every day in the hall between classes and what if u were in 10th grade and it was finally 2019 just like the danger days album and whenever u saw ur exgirlfriend in the hallway you’d turn ur headphones up real loud and theyd stop the noise and what if you were 16 and my chemical romance announced their reunion tour and you dropped your phone on the ground during history class and broke it and you had to get a new one and what if you were so glad you didnt kill yourself because they’re back. and what if you were 17 and quarantined and memorizing every song from bullets and rewatching lotms was the only thing you really had left to do so you did it and then memorizing every song from revenge was all u had left to do so u did it and u looped their entire discography over and over again to stay sane in your fucking house. and what if you were 18 and you wanted to kill yourself and your parents didnt accept you and you listened to bulletproof heart over and over (how can they say, jenny could you come back home? cuz everybody knows you dont ever wanna come back, ‘tell the truth and god will save you’). and what if you were 19 and you’d just gotten home from college and one of the most painful traumatizing experiences of your life and my chemical romance released a new song (you must fix your heart and you must build an altar where it swells) and you got it and you understood but you didnt really understand and what if you couldnt get tickets to boston2 after all and you couldnt bring urself to watch the streams anymore because it hurt too badly and what if you were 19 and you were going to kill yourself sometime in the next year but you listened to foundations again and you got it this time (you MUST fix your heart. and you must build an altar where it swells) (GET UP, COWARD) and what if you listened to famous last words again and you knew what it meant (WHERE’S YOUR HEART?) (I AM NOT AFRAID TO KEEP ON LIVING) and what if you watched mcrla5 the full way through and cried and went outside in the pouring rain (let it flood let it flood let it wash away) and decided to keep on living and what if the north american leg of the tour ended and you turned 20 and what if youd spent years believing u were a ghost in a human body and what if you watched the first sydney show and cry through it (YOURE RUNNING AFTER SOMETHING THAT YOULL NEVER KILL) and what if they just kept changing your life again and again. it’s like that kind of

#kind of #text #suicide tw

[epersonae]

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @yerbamansa, thanks!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

169 😅 150 of which are for The Adventure Zone (I wrote a LOT of small fic for TAZ, and just a lot of TAZ fic in general)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

604,338, which remains absolutely wild to me. I hit the half-million mark this year.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently Our Flag Means Death, but previously The Adventure Zone, and I have one Star Trek (TOS movies) fic.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Sea of Love (Our Flag Means Death (TV)) (6,697 words)

Phoenix Fire (The Adventure Zone (Podcast)) (2,031 words)

Commit to the Bit (Our Flag Means Death (TV)) (2,471 words)

Dinner & Conversation (The Adventure Zone (Podcast)) (826 words)

I have begun to long for you (Our Flag Means Death (TV)) (4,185 words)

Yeah, ok, some fun reunion porn for the big fandom and a collab with two pretty popular writers for the small fandom make sense for that top two in particular.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to, especially since I don't get that many, and I love getting comments so much that I just want to share my appreciation. Sometimes the spoons are low, sometimes I don't know what to say except "thanks!" and if someone just commented on several chapters I might not do that for all of them.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Well, Phoenix Fire is the Worst Ending, aka the destruction of the entire universe, plus unbearably sad between the main characters, so yeah.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I do have quite a bit of fluffy fic (Commit to the Bit comes to mind, there's also a Fantasy Costco Kravitz/Taako that's very sweet), but I immediately thought of for the benefit of all the broken hearts, just because it takes an incredibly bittersweet ending of the fic it's fixing and says FUCK THAT, how can everyone get a happy ending instead?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've never gotten any, even managed to avoid the twitter wank that WFU got when I wrote fics of it! (long ago, I did get some vagueblogging about some stuff in my TAZ fic, but nothing ever addressed directly at me)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

That is where I started and why I started (my first smutty fic is pretty bad imho but it was popular, relatively speaking, because for a bit there it was the only unlocked smut for that pairing); my original rarepair was M/F bi4bi in a complicated polycule, and so there's some them+others works in there. (readers of for the benefit of all the broken hearts are nodding along like "ok this tracks") beyond that, I'm just going to say go look at my work.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Is for the benefit of all the broken hearts (and the rest of that series) a crossover??????? Like I'm legitimately staring into space thinking about the boundary line between modern AU and RPF and........ HUH.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

DO PEOPLE DO THAT

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

183 thousand words in a series: the only life you could save, with my beloved Ryn, when we were "just friends" - started as our attempt to co-write a reconciliation between Taako and Lucretia, and spun out into an entire timeline with themes spanning before the Stolen Century all the way into post-canon. Some pieces we wrote separately, much of it we wrote together. Even the last piece, which I published after Ryn died, includes a section that they wrote, about Taako trying to cope with Lucretia's death.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Probably Mulder/Scully lol, tho I don't know if I've ever read any fic of them????

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

One of my very first TAZ fics was a Hurley/Sloane backstory fic that was going to be basically a beat-for-beat retelling of The Fast and the Furious (oh, I guess that's also sort of a crossover?), but I only ever wrote the first chapter. I would love to write it at some point, because I think it would be fun as hell.

I'd also love to finish my TAZ Amnesty fic, sweetness follows, which is friends-to-lovers post-canon Minerva/Duck.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Character voice, I think. Possibly a stupid depth of canon knowledge for whatever the canon is, and I think I have a knack for figuring out how to reincorporate those details. Honestly, it's hard for me to say "oh these are my strengths and weaknesses", or at least today I'm having trouble pinning that down.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Punctuation Pokemon, or rather, my sentences do get very tangly. I find endings really tricky, I've done a lot of work thinking through how to stick the landing. (This is one of the ways in which Ryn continues to live in my head, because they could always spot when I hadn't quite made it.)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Alas my Spanish (high school and college) is too rusty to even try, and I don't know any other languages.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The Adventure Zone, although I wrote quite a bit of Agatha Christie pastiche in junior high, and a lot of Anne Rice influenced original fiction in high school and college.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I love a lot of my fic, it's fun to go back and look and say "oh that!", and The Reckoning Arrives is up there, of course, because I loved writing it, and it saved my life. ("she's survived the impossible before" got me out of my marriage and 2 years later got me through the hospital. "you're here, so be here" got me through what came after that.)

But it does have to be for the benefit of all the broken hearts - she lives in my head, still, and I feel incredibly proud of all the work I put into it, the technical work, the emotional work.

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Not tagging anybody, but PLEASE! if you feel like talking about your writing, do it!

#my writing #my fic #tag games #'sweetness follows' was a bit of a love letter to Ryn before I told them how I felt