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javierpena-inatacvest · 3 months

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Happy Valentine's Day, Javier Peña

Summary: You've never been the biggest fan of Valentine's Day. But when you and Javi celebrate it for the first time together, he goes out of his way to make sure it's everything you want and more.

Pairing: Fiancé!Javier Peña x F!Reader (Reader's nickname is Osita, no use of Y/N)

Word Count: 5.4K

Warnings: SMUT (18+), unprotected p in v sex (don't do that pls), face sitting, oral (f receiving), creampie, praise kink, breeding kink (it's me), PREMATURE EJACULATION, cumming untouched, subby Javi (he is no better than a teenage boy and can barley keep it together bc he is so obsessed with you AH), Javi picks you up to carry you, Javi being a hopeless romantic, sweet, cute fluff bc I said so

A/N: HEYOOOO. It's me, back with our favorite menace couple 🤪 You know damn well Javi goes all out for Valentine's Day, bc Javier Peña is a man in LOVE and the world's biggest softie (I will not be taking counter arguments, it's fact). So in love, in fact, that sometimes, things are finished before they're even started!!! Happy Valentine's Day, Y'all!! 🫣💕 Unbeta'd bc my body won't let me sleep and I'm too exhausted to edit

Can be read as a stand alone, or as a part of the Never Too Late Series!

You hated Valentine’s Day.

Well… Hate was a strong word, but it was the only word strong enough to try and convince Javi that the last thing he needed to worry about doing was going all out for you on a Wednesday in the middle of February. Because for a very long time, all Valentine’s day was for you was just that- another day in the middle of winter.

For as long as you could remember, you had either spent Valentine’s day alone, wishing you had someone special to share it with, or the person you were sharing it with really didn’t give a shit about you, bought you some chocolate and flowers to cover their ass and called it a day. Your most recent ex had been kind enough to follow your request about not making the holiday anything special by forgetting about it completely and ditching you to go to a hockey game with his friends and then drunkenly calling you to come pick him up that night.

It was safe to say that Valentine’s day really didn’t mean much to you at all, or at least you thought it wouldn’t, until you’d met Javier Peña- A man who had quite literally bumped into you and proceeded to change the course of your life for the better and found yourself falling head over heels for, so much so, that it didn’t take you long to realize there was no one else that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with than him- leaving your first Valentine’s day together also the first time celebrating the holiday with your fiancé, now that the two of you had gotten engaged. It also meant your first of many years of having to convince Javi that he really didn’t need to do anything special for you to celebrate, and that just getting to spend time with him was more than enough for you.

Unfortunately, it was not good enough for Javi.

“Baby, I’m being serious, I promise I do not care. I would be happy if all we did was got pizza and watched TV together. All I wanna do for Valentine’s Day is just spend time with you. I don’t need a random weekday in February for you to prove that you love me, I think you’ve already proven that, Jav.” You laughed, pausing from washing dishes to pull your left hand out of the kitchen sink to point to the engagement ring on your finger. You found yourself now laughing even harder at Javi’s audible sigh as he snuck behind you, flushing his chest against your back, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his head on your shoulder, practically feeling the weight of his signature puppy dog pout drooping on you.

“I know, but it’s Valentine’s Day. I’m not gonna not do anything. And you deserve much more than pizza.” Javi sighed, pressing a kiss on your cheek, squeezing you in his grasp just a little tighter, making you giggle as he flipped you around to face him, caging you under his broad body against the kitchen counter. “You have to let me do something for you, Hermosa.”

“I don’t know Jav, pizza does sound really good. You really think you’re gonna be able to top pizza?” You teased, raising your eyebrow at him and sporting a sarcastic smirk as he rolled his eyes at you.

“Oh shut up, you dork. Seriously, Osita. I totally get if you don’t wanna do anything big, but, I am not doing nothing for my beautiful fiancé on Valentine’s Day. You deserve it. How about this? If you don’t wanna go out, then I am making us reservations here at Restaurant Peña.”

“Oh, Restaurant Peña? They must be new around here, never heard of them before. Does the chef take requests?” You smirked, biting down on your lip to keep your goofy grin from growing between your cheeks, only giggling more as Javi leaned in to pepper ticklish kisses across your face.

“Normally, no, but I have a feeling the chef can make an exception for you.

“Does the chef make pizza?”

“The chef will make fucking pizza if you want pizza.” Javi laughed, rolling his eyes, tightening his grip around your waist, lifting you up and spinning you around in a fit of laughter before setting you down on top of the kitchen counter, slotting himself in the open space in between your legs and digging his fingers into your hips. “Whatever you want, baby, I’ll make it for you.”

“You choose, Chef Peña. Surprise me.”

“Hermosa, you hate surprises.”

“Well, then whatever you’re making better be good.” You shrugged, cocking your head to the side with a smug grin.

“You’re ridiculous, I hope you know that.”

“Yeah, no shocker there. Seriously though, thank you, Javi. This is really sweet of you. You know you don’t-”

Cutting you off, Javi brought his lips to yours, cradling your jaw as he swallowed the rest of your sentence, making your heart flutter from the electric kiss your fiance had just given you to politely shut you up.

“I know I don’t. But I want to. Te amo, tozuda (I love you, stubborn).”

“I love you too, pendejo (jerk). Now help me down, I have dishes to finish and a menu to plan for Laredo’s newest top chef.”

As you pulled up to the parking lot of your apartment, you shouldn’t have been surprised to see that Javi had already beat you home to get a head start on your Valentine’s Day dinner, laughing to yourself in disbelief, wondering how you had gotten so lucky that you had found someone that genuinely cared this much about making something so special just for you.

As you fumbled for your keys and pushed open your front door, you saw your apartment was dimly lit, candles scattered around the living room and kitchen, the shadows of the flames flickering and dancing along the walls. You could hear soft music and pans sizzling in the kitchen, along with the sweet humming of Javi’s voice. You closed the door behind you, taking a few more shocked steps into the living room before Javi noticed your presence.

He grinned, quickly setting down what he was working and wiping his hands on the towel he had tucked in his waistband while he was cooking before coming over to cup your face for a long, sweet kiss that made your heart race, leaving you speechless.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, mi amor.” He cooed, now pulling away from his embrace to reach behind you for the bouquet of daisies that had been hiding on the entryway table, handing them over to you with another peck on the cheek.

“Javi, these are, baby, these are beautiful. Did you- you left work early just to do all this?” You grinned, burying your nose in the flowers before looking around the living room to admire the setup Javi had prepared for the two of you, finally meeting his soft, sweet gaze staring down at you.

“Maybe. You’re Restaurant Peña’s first customer, wanted to make a good impression. Speaking of which, dinner is almost done, and as much as I would love to do nothing but stand here and kiss you, the chef doesn’t want to be the first meal he serves to be burned to a crisp.”

“Well in that case,” You paused, giggling as you pressed up on your tiptoes to press a kiss onto his plush lips, “I better go change for this classy event. Can’t wait to see what the chef has in store.”

Handing your flowers back to Javi, you set down the rest of your things from work, and quickly scampered back towards your bedroom, peeking back out of the doorway to shoot Javi a quick wink, making him quietly laugh to himself as he ran his hand over the back of his neck, shaking his head, trying to hide the completely lovestruck smirk plastered all over his face before heading back to the kitchen.

Gently closing the door behind you, your face mirrored Javi’s, heat creeping through your cheeks, grinning to yourself as you made your way to your dresser, starting to shuffle through your top drawer, looking for personal Valentine’s Day gift for your fiancé that had been hidden away under your folded piles of socks and underwear.

After digging for a few moments, you felt the lacy texture running through your fingers, pulling out the new lingerie set you had bought a few days ago to surprise Javi with. You quickly shimmied out of your work clothes, tossing them into the laundry basket next to your bed before slipping the delicate fabric over your body. Although this wasn't the first time you had surprised Javi with an outfit like this, you’d never get over his awestruck reaction, watching his eyes grow wide with his hungry gaze, ravishing in every inch of you, barley keeping himself together enough even remain coherent as you revealed yourself to him.

Giving yourself a once over in the mirror, you pulled one of your nicer, fitted black dresses out of your closet, hiding the matching red bra and thong held up by the lacy garters around your thighs, quickly touching up your hair and makeup from your long work day before making your way back out into the kitchen to greet Javi, back turned to you as he picked up two plates off the counter to bring to the table, nearly dropping them in the process as he turned around to see you standing in front of him.

“Fuck me…” He muttered under his breath, his jaw nearly dropping as he gave you another once over after looking you up and down, having to shake his head to snap himself back to reality, having enough sense to set his plates full of food down on the table before they ended up on the floor. “Baby, you look- fuck, you look fucking stunning.”

“I heard Restaurant Peña’s a nice place, figured I should dress for the occasion. Plus,” You smirked, taking the few steps to close the space between you and Javi, draping your arms over his shoulders and pressing up on your tiptoes to giggle in his ear, “I heard the chef here is really sexy. I’m really hoping that he’s free after dinner so I can treat him to some dessert.”

“Jesus fucking Christ… Hermosa, if you keep talking like that, we’re not gonna make it to dinner.” Javi groaned, biting down on his lip as he looked down at your mischievous grin, letting out another deep breath as his hands traveled down the curves of your waist, reaching around to grab a handful of your ass, kneading it over the fitted fabric covering it. “Fuck… can we just skip dinner and go straight to des-”

“Javi! No! You made me this whole delicious meal, I am not letting you skip this because you can’t keep it in your pants, mister.” You teased, giving Javi a playful nudge, taking a step back to cross your arms over your chest, raising an eyebrow at him to tease him, even you knew damn well you would have been more than happy to give in to Javi’s plan, but the gurgle in your stomach and the inkling you were going to need some energy for the night ahead gave you enough logic to at least have some rational thinking left in your brain.

“Fine…” Javi sighed, holding up his hands in defense, laughing at your sassy remark, stepping back to the table to put both your plates in their rightful spots before making his way over to your chair to pull it out for you, leaning down to whisper in your ear as you sat down, the hot breath of his words dancing across your neck as he spoke. “Can you blame me when you look like this? You keep fucking teasing me like that, Hermosa, and dessert’s about to get very interesting.”

You could feel the rasp of his voice shoot straight to your core, your thighs instinctively clenching together to try to keep the ache growing between your legs at bay, letting the softest moan escape from your lips, using every ounce of brain power you had left to try and conjure up some sort of response.

“Yeah? Is that a threat or a promise?”

“Depends, which one do you want it to be?”

“Whatever the chef wants.”

Although the dinner that Javi had cooked was absolutely delicious, after adding a few glasses of wine during your meal to the already thick and palpable sexual tension in your kitchen was not helping either of your causes, the two of you probably rushing through eating much faster than you had intended to when the night had begun.

Taking the final sips left in your glass and watching the last bits of your plate cleared, all your inhibitions had been thrown out the window, giving Javi longing look as you stood up out of your chair, pushing in your seat and slowly slinking your way over to Javi, lifting your leg over his lap as you straddled him in his spot, your hands slowly running up and down his chest, toying with the buttons of his dress shirt and carefully unbuttoning button by button as you nipped at his ear.

“So, are you ready for dessert? I think I have a treat for you that you’re gonna like.” You rasped, trailing kisses across his neck and jaw, your lips meeting his in an electric passion, catching the muffled moan escaping his mouth as you began swirling your hips feeling the bulge beginning to grow in his pants.

“Fuck… Yeah? You gonna tell me what it is, huh, Hermosa?” Javi groaned, his hands wrapping around your waist, fingers digging into your hips, pressing you down further into his crotch, making you whine as you felt his hard length beneath you rubbing against you, only fueling the fire burning in your stomach and the wet patch growing in your underwear.

“Why don’t you take me to the bedroom and find out.”

You could barley finish your sentence before Javi was tightening his grip around you, standing up out of the chair to lift you up as he stood, carrying you to the bedroom as you stumbled down the hallway, becoming a tangled mess of tongue and teeth as the back of Javi’s knees finally hit the bed, situating you back in his lap. His hands roamed relentlessly over your body, letting his hands creep up your thighs, pushing up your dress high enough to stop in his tracks as he felt the lace of your garter band, a low groan rumbling in his chest at the realization of what treat you had to offer for him.

“Oh fuck… Baby, are you- what do you have on under here?” He asked, breathlessly, very clearly knowing the answer before he had even asked the question, his hands now pushing further up your legs, his fingers dancing across the delicate waistband of your thong as he looked up at you with his pleading brown eyes, now growing darker and darker with lust.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Javi.” You mewled, reaching behind you to unzip the back of your dress, letting it fall of your shoulders and reveal the red bustier underneath, the floral, lacy pattern leaving very little to the imagination, and leaving Javi’s jaw to practically drop to the floor as you showed off your hidden outfit.

“Osita… Fuck… This all for me, sweet girl? Jesus Christ.” he practically whispered to himself in disbelief, soaking in every inch of you as you stepped of back off his lap to let your dress fall to the floor, unveiling your lingerie in its entirety in front of him. Letting his elbows rest on his knees, he brought his hand over his mouth, gaping open in awe, soon balling his hand into a fist and biting down on his knuckle as you slowly turned around in a circle, showing off all angles of yourself before meeting Javi’s gaze again, smirking to yourself at the incomprehensible mess your fiance had become.

“You like it?” You giggled, raising a knowing eyebrow at Javi as you stepped back towards him, running your hands up his strong thighs hanging over the edge of the bed, letting your fingers barley brush over the undeniable tent in his pants, teasing at his belt buckle before dragging your hands back down, resting on his knees.

“Y-yeah, I- yeah, fuck.” Javi gulped, the adam’s apple in his throat bobbing as he swallowed, trying to find a way to string together a coherent sentence as you let your fingers trace over his legs and crotch, melting into a puddle under your touch.

“Yeah? I had a feeling.” You smirked, now palming at the bulge in his pants more firmly, eliciting another audible moan from Javi, his breath becoming heavy and shaky as you sat yourself back over his lap, your ass resting perfectly on top of his erection as you began to slowly swirl your hips over his. Your hands worked their way down the rest of the buttons of his shirt, creeping between the parted fabric to rest your hands on his bare chest, nestling your face in the crook of his neck as you sucked at his pulse point, whispering against his skin. “You gonna be a good boy and let me take care of you, baby?”

There were few times in his life where Javier Peña had found himself at a complete loss for words, but you had him wrapped around your finger as you sat in his lap, all dressed up just for him, whispering sweet praises in his ear did something to him that even he couldn’t quite comprehend. Truth be told, the only thought he could process right now was the all too familiar clench in his stomach and tightening in his balls leaving him on the verge of busting in his pants before you had even touched him.

Scrunching his face in concentration, Javi nodded rapidly as his hands dug a bruising grip into your hips, every grind of your ass against his crotch only tightening the undeniable knot in his gut. Javi was convinced he’d be strong enough to keep it in check, as long he could use every ounce of his being to focus on not falling apart. But that was before you decided to fight dirty and press every button you knew to make Javi absolutely crumble.

“Fuck, you’re so hard for me, baby. You want me to touch you, Javi? Let me make you feel good, sweet boy.” You cooed, nipping at his ear as your hands ran through the thick, dark curls of his hair before sliding down the width of his broad shoulders, sliding his shirt down his arms and gripping around his biceps as you sunk your hips deeper and deeper into his lap.

Before he even had time to process what was happening, Javi found himself instinctively bucking his hips up into you, holding on to you for dear life as he let out an absolutely wrecked moan, slumping his head into your shoulder as you felt a warm, wet sensation begin to spread below you.

“Fuck… Fuck me…” He whispered, silently cursing himself over his shallow breathing, making you pause in confusion as you looked down at Javi, taking a moment to quickly piece together in your brain what had just happened.

Javi had just cum in his pants like a fucking teenager.

“Javi…Javi, did you just-”

“Fuck. Fuck, I’m- I’m sorry. Fuck me.” Javi grimaced, running his hand over his face, tilting his head back up towards the ceiling, his cheeks turning red in pained embarrassment, not even able to bring himself to make eye contact with you until you brought your hand under his cheek, gently cupping his jaw and forcing his gaze onto you, locking his lips in an intense kiss before either of you had the chance to speak.

“Well, that’s a first.” You giggled, trying your best to lighten Javi’s clearly distraught mood, feeling his pouty frown through your kiss. “Javi, it’s okay, we can just- Oh!”

Before you could finish your sentence, Javi’s back was to the bed, dragging your body across his chest until you were straddling just below his shoulders, his hands digging into your ass and pulling you closer towards him.

“Nuh uh. I just need a few. Lemme make you feel good, baby. Please. Fuck, I’m sorry, you’re just so fucking sexy, I couldn’t help myself. Let me make it up to you, please, Osita.”

It wasn’t very often that you found yourself like this- you being the one who turned Javi into a whimpering and babbling mess, begging for forgiveness. And even though it was a position you found yourself in often, you very well knew that you were going to take advantage of every last second.

“Oh yeah? And how are you planning on making it up to me, Javi?” You cooed, cocking your head to the side apathetically, arms crossed over your chest as you sat straddling Javi’s.

“Sit on my face, baby, please. Fuck, I’ll make you cum as many times as you want. I wanna taste you so bad.” Javi moaned, his sweet, brown eyes pleading with you for just a taste of the arousal that had been steadily pooling between your legs.

“Yeah?” You paused, leaning down to capture his mouth in a passionate kiss, your teeth tugging at his plush bottom lip as you pulled away to nip at his jaw, “and what if I still want you to fill me up after you’re done? What if I need you to fuck me full of you?”

“Jesus fuck…” Javi groaned under his shallow breathing, “I’ll give you whatever you want, Hermosa. I promise.”

“Good boy.” You mewled, running your hands through the sweat-dampened curls of his hair before shuffling your body so your lace covered and soaking heat was hovering over Javi’s face. You began to slowly lower yourself down, Javi’s fingertips gripping the flesh of your hips, forcing you to shift your weight onto him, making you moan as you felt his strong nose brush against your clit, nudging your panties out of the way. You could feel the width of his tongue dragging along your cunt, slowly and deliberately working himself along your sensitive bundle of nerves. His face nestled between your legs, he took his time with each lick, taking extra time to press harder on the spots he knew made you weak, loving how wrecked he could tell you already were as you rolled your hips over his face. You could practically feel his smirk buried in your pussy as the movements of his tongue became more precise, flicking at your clit making you whimper as you braced your hands by burying them in his hair, tugging at the ends of his thick curls.

“Javi… Fuck, oh my god.” You cried, feeling the tension begin to build in your belly as Javi wrapped his plush lips around your mound, sucking feverishly as you rocked your hips back and forth, grinding down harder, the hairs of his mustache brushing against your thighs. You could feel him hum in approval against your cunt as your back began to arch, a familiar tingle growing at the base of your spine as his mouth latched firmer around your clit, desperate to make you come undone.

“Fuck, baby- oh shit- Javi, don’t stop, fuck, fuck, I’m so close. Fuck, I’m- mhhhmmmmmm.” Your orgasm crashed through you, pleasure overtaking your body as you came, whimpering and moaning. Your orgasm crashed through you, pleasure overtaking your body as you came, whimpering and moaning Javi’s name as he dug his fingers deeper into your flesh, holding you against him as he continued to work you through your high.

Dipping his tongue into your hole, his muscle plunged into your cunt, drinking up your arousal while the bridge of his nose brushed against your clit, making good on his promise to redeem himself from earlier, not letting up until he felt your body tense and legs begin to shake as you came again, feeling about as sturdy as a pile of jello at this point.

Your body went slack, draping your upper half over Javi’s body as you felt his face free from out from under you, looking down to see his face glistening in your slick, accompanied by a boyish grin and pleading eyes, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and gazing back up at you.

You had caught your breath enough to sit yourself back up, looking over your shoulder to see the bulge in Javi’s pants was back in full force, slowly scooting your way down his chest and stomach to sit yourself back on his lap, grinding your hips in his, circling slowly over his painfully hard bulge, digging deeper and deeper with each sway of your hips. You slid your hands up his chest, into his hair, gently tugging at his dark curls as you rocked against him. You could tell how hard Javi was trying to control himself, breathing heavily and clenching his jaw as he watched you, the moans escaping from his mouth only becoming louder as you began to gently tug at the straps of your bra, letting them fall from your shoulders, teasing him even further.

“You think you’re ready for me, baby? You’re gonna be a good boy and fill me up like you promised? You smirked, slipping your hands behind your back, you unclasped the hooks holding your top together, letting it drop to the floor and leave your top completely bare.

“Promise.” He sighed, voice trembling, feeling the muscles in his body tense with your question.

“Good.” You smirked, “Gotta ask nicely, though.”

“Osita, please, baby, fuck- please.” Javi whined, his voice ragged and wanting as his brown eyes met with yours, watching you crawl up over him, your hands now working at his belt buckle. The metal clinked as you pushed his pants down his hips before ever so gently tugging at the waistband of his boxers, already tented from his stiffness.

“Please, what, sweet boy?” You cooed, pulling just enough to let his cock spring free, revealing how painfully hard he was, his tip dark red and leaking with precum that had left additional stains on his boxers, mixing with his premature spend from earlier.

“Hermosa, please. Please, baby. I need you to fuck me, please.” Javi whimpered as you settled yourself on top of his legs, your hands now creeping towards his shaft.

“That’s better. So handsome when you beg. Need me to take care of you? I’ll take care of you, baby.” You wrapped your hand around his cock, thumbing at the precum dripping out of his tip and rubbing it around his head before taking the same hand and running it through your folds, collecting the arousal that had been rapidly pooling between your legs and using the mixture to stroke him.

With his shaft sufficiently slick, the both of you gasped as you sunk down on Javi’s length, his cock bumping against your cervix as you took every inch of him inside you, taking a moment to adjust to the sweet sting of his fullness. “Fuck, you feel so good, Javi. I love feeling you inside me. Can’t wait to feel you dripping down my thighs. Gonna keep me full of you all night.”

The groan Javi let out was low and deep, feeling your hands rest against his chest as your hips rolled back and forth, burying Javi’s cock deep inside the warm, wet walls of your cunt. The hairs at the base of Javi’s cock rubbed deliciously on your clit, the sensation of that, combined with how frantically you were rocking your hips back and forth had your heart racing, so worked up from trying to keep your cool that you could feel the tingle building at the base of your spine rapidly.

“I will. Please let me, I will. I’ll fuck myself so deep inside you you’ll be dripping out of me for days. Fuck, I wanna cum so deep in you, please, Osita. Please, baby.”

You could tell Javi was close, too- The gritting of his teeth, the wild and wanting look in his sweet brown eyes, the sloppy pace of his dick pounding into you, all the tells you knew far too well to realize he was quickly about to come undone again. The arousal pooling in your belly continued to build, the lewd noises of your wetness and mixed moans coating the walls of your bedroom as your fingers dug into the skin of Javi’s chest.

“Fuck, fuck- I love you, Javi. Holy shit- I’m so close. I need you to fill me up, baby.”

“I love you too, Hermosa. I’m not gonna last much longer either, so fucking wet and tight, oh my god- I’m gonna fill you up so good, baby. I promise, promise I’ll be a good boy and fuck every last drop in you.”

It wasn’t often that you had seen Javi turn into such a mess, watching him whimper and beg to with such desperation and neediness, barely hanging on by a thread from the moment you had crossed the threshold of your bedroom, and holy shit, it was the hottest thing you’d ever seen. Javi had already cum once without you even touching him, and now, he was so worked up he was teetering on the brink of falling apart again.

In a frantic desperation, Javi sat himself up, caging your chest against his, wrapping his arms around your back as he held you in his lap, his face buried in the crook of your neck, sweaty curls of his hair resting against your shoulder, while he fucked up into you, each thrust becoming reckless than the last.

“Oh fuck, Javi, fuck, don’t stop- fuck, fuck, I’m gonn-ahhhhh”

The coil building in your belly snapped, screaming Javi’s name over and over again as your cunt clenched around his cock, feeling your orgasm flood your body with pleasure. You braced your hands on Javi’s chest as you felt your body go numb, euphoria flowing through your veins while Javi fucked you through your high, quickly chasing his own.

“That’s it baby. Fuck, Mierda- God, you’re so fucking perfect. Tu eres mio para siempre. Mi amor, mi vida, fuck, te amo más de lo que las palabras pueden decir. (You’re mine forever. My love, my life, fuck, I love you more than words can say). Jesus, fuck- Oh fuck, Osita, fuck, I’m gonna cum too, I-” Javi quickly followed behind you, thrusting a few more times up into you before letting out a low, ragged groan as he spilled deep inside your pussy, his warm spend coating your walls, making sure to milk himself of every last drop, as promised. You could feel the mixture of the both of you leaking down your legs into Javi’s lap as you sat on top of him, his dick still pulsing as your chests heaved in sync, squeezing your eyes tightly to try and bring yourself back to earth.

“Jesus Fucking Christ…” Javi muttered under his breath, his body still slumped into yours until you began running your fingers through his hair, prompting him to look back up at you, the blissed out grins on both your faces making you let out a quiet laugh of surprised disbelief at what had just happened.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Javier Pena.” You giggled, cupping his face, tilting it up towards yours and locking his lips in a long and tender kiss.

“Happy fucking Valentine’s Day, baby. Fuck, that was hot. Sorry, uh- sorry about earlier.” He sighed sheepishly, gesturing over to the very thoroughly stained pair of pants now lying in a crumpled heap on the floor.

“It’s okay. Definitely a good confidence booster if me putting some lingerie on for you is enough to make you blow your load faster than a middle school boy.” You snickered, giving Javi a playful nudge as he rolled his eyes at you, letting out a little sigh.

“Shut up. You have no fucking idea. God, you’re so fucking sexy, you know that? I can’t believe you get to be my Valentine for the rest of my life. I’m a lucky fucking man, I’ll tell you that much.”

“I could say the same, handsome. I love you, Javi. Alright, what do you say we go clean up so we can have real dessert. I have a whole plate full of cookies left over from our class party, along with some very questionable candy from several 3rd graders.”

“Sounds like the perfect plan to me.”

Taglist:

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writer-komaru · 1 year

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Lovebites

Here’s a list of how a few Danganronpa boys would show you their affection for you through a somewhat taboo way; by leaving an almost permanent memento right on your skin.

Bites - Soda

He’s always been a bit scared of how sharp his teeth are. He has to be very careful to not bite his tongue, because when he does, he’s practically writhing on the ground in pain. So when you first asked him to bite your neck, he immediately jumped back.

“A-Are you serious?! Can’t you see how sharp my teeth are? If I bite too deep, I could probably cut something important!”

You chuckled at how much of a fuss he was making.

“Then why not on my shoulder? It doesn’t have to be too deep, just a little mark. Please?”

It’s impossible for him to hold back when you give him such cute puppy dog eyes.

“Ahhh… Fine. Just don’t move.”

He pulls you onto his lap and stares down at your bare shoulder. After hesitating for a second, praying to the gods above it doesn’t start spewing blood, he gently presses his teeth against it. You stifle a whine at the prickling feeling. It felt strangely good, like being marked by a vampire. While you were busy swooning, he cussed under his breath as small beads of red blood started to form on the place he bit. He scrambled to grab some bandaids, almost falling face first off the bed. It was so adorable how much he cared for you.

(NSFW warning)

Hickies - Byakuya

“…. Are you being serious right now?”

He stared at you with a cold countenance, like he was disgusted you would even ask that question.

“You want me to give you… hickeys? What are we, horny high schoolers? If you were anyone else, I’d have you fired, or worse.”

He closed his book and got up from his chair.

“…But you're my spouse, so I’ll let it slide this time.”

He walked by you and ushered you to follow him, making you smile in excitement. Once arriving in his ‘private chamber’, he immediately began to take off his clothes and put them into a neat pile, saying he didn’t wish to ruin them. He set them to the side along with his glasses and pushed you into the bed.

“If hickies are what you want, it’s what you’ll get.”

You shivered at his dominant gaze, both nervous and excited. When it comes to him, you never know when he’ll be rough or soft; it’s almost like he finds your suspense amusing. He wouldn’t leave you waiting for too long though as he suddenly grabbed your hands and pinned them above your head.

“But only when you prove you deserve them.”

(NSFW warning)

Scratches - Shuichi

Poor, poor Shuichi. He can’t help but get embarrassed over the littlest of things. No matter if it’s doing the laundry and seeing your clothes, sitting a little too close to you while watching a movie, or even just seeing you in something remotely tight. But there’s one thing that tops all of those, turning him into the brightest tomato there ever was; when he sees the scratch makes he leave on your back when you fuck him.

He doesn’t mean too, he really doesn’t. He hates when he hurts you. You just make him feel so good, so, so good, he can’t even think anymore. All he knows is he needs it deeper, needs it harder, enough to push him over the edge and have him in tears. His legs would wrap tightly around your waist, heels digging into the back of your thighs. He whines out, “it’s too good!” And “can’t think, I’m going to break!~”. His usual nervous side goes completely out the window when you have him seeing the fucking stars. And as soon as the bubble inside of him finally bursts, he cries out loud for the whole neighborhood to hear and rakes his nails down your back one final time. His cum splatters all over both of your chests as his body finally gives up and passes out.

When he finally wakes up tomorrow, remember to remind him of the red marks that lie etched in your skin by his hand. But try not to tease him too much or else he might just melt into a puddle of shame.

Hellooooooo! I’m sorry for not posting in so long. I’ve been busy with a lot of life stuff and haven’t found the motivation to write. I just managed to scrape together some last bits of inspiration to make this, I hope it will sefice :’)

Thank you all so much for your support, it means the world to me to be able to provide others with something that can make them feel happy, especially when they are going through a hard time. I love you all so so much, have a fantastic day/night!

#danganronpa x y/n #danganronpa #smut #byakuya x reader #shuichi x reader #soda x reader #danganronpa x reader

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a-hobit · 10 months

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Using my tumblr account as a vent space once again!

So for reasons unspecified I’m an adult still living with my parents and grandmother. I’m almost 21 and I’ve lived in a shoebox apartment with my mom (and now stepdad and old lady) for as long as I can remember. I used to live in a house but really I don’t remember it. The fact we were pretty tight with cash didn’t really bother me growing up but as a full adult now with my own money it feels so unfairly good to spend it on the things I want. I try to spoil my mother whenever I can but she’s pretty hard to buy for. She gave up literally everything for me and my sister. She gave up everything she loved to take us away from my biological dad. I have always known that the life she has is not the one she wanted for me, my sister, or herself. She wanted a home she was proud to go back to and that her children could grow up in. She wanted to host family gatherings and have me and my sister invite guests over. She wanted to grow a seed in the backyard and watch It grow into a tree like she watched her children grow.

It really has always killed me to know that while I may not mind where we are it hurts her deeply that I do not remember that house. That I do not remember a complete family or a simple life. And that as much as she gave up for us it still wasn’t enough. I wonder how many people can say that they understand my mother — she always had friends with simple easy lives that she couldn’t seem to cry to and so she held in that grief of a broken family and that lost life by herself for as long as we’ve lived here.

Now like a gift from the greatest tragedy my mother has that opportunity to buy that home. Not the original one, not that one but a different home. Something she’s proud of. I see how stressed it makes her to have this thing she’s wanted. How she’s having such a hard time choosing.

I am definitely making this harder on her. I know that. I do have my own opinions about where I’d like to live and I’ve always kind of dreamed what that first house might look like when we got the money. Upstairs or downstairs? Dibs on which room? Where would you like your bed? Can you please mow the lawn today sweetie? Have you unpacked everything yet? Will you park the cars in the garage — I think there’s hail coming. Will you take the trash? Will you tend the garden? Will you take the dog out? Can you come home soon? How late will you be?

Do you want to see how big you’ve grown? I can mark it on the wall.

I know some of that already happened. Not the exact same but it happened. I guess maybe ive been idolizing that life in my head so much it’s strange that I now get to watch it play out…but it isn’t really how I wanted it either right?

I’m not a child anymore.

Im not going to live in this house for more than a year — maybe some months in between out of college? This is not going to be my home like it is theirs. Im not part of this like I dreamed about.

And isn’t it true? Why would it ever matter what I thought when I didn’t have to look at it for more than a year or two? Why come along to house showings? Why be nervous about my mom loving a house I hate so deeply because I can’t see myself there with her? Why voice that complaint?

Why say anything at all?

Why worry? If she loves it? If it’s her dream and it just doesn’t include you for long? You should just keep your mouth shut because of how much you’re hurting her how much you know it’s painful to hear you be excited about a house that isn’t even going to be yours — she knows she knows it.

Now you know it.

But GOD it hurts. It hurts so fucking bad. It’s so hard to know now. The reality is so painful you’d rather just stay here. And isn’t that awful? Aren’t you just awful to wish for your loving mother to stay here and rot with you because you can’t handle her being happy without you?

But it feels like rotting already.

#ahobit rant

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searchingwardrobes · 1 year

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The morning a comment made me cry . . .

I have been wrestling with posting this for ages. On the one hand, I want to let people who follow my fanfic to know that I haven’t left. On the other, I am an INFJ, an introvert, and a highly sensitive person who never wants to feel like I’m bothering people or whining about my life. Everyone has problems, everyone is busy, am I right? But then last week, I woke up to a comment on Ao3 for a fic that I wrote years ago, and I ended up sitting at my kitchen table and crying.

It wasn’t just the comment. It was that I had just spent the last night in the house we have lived in for the last 17 years. The house each of my children came home from the hospital to. A house I honestly didn’t want to sell or leave. And it wasn’t like we were moving because we found our dream house or because a new job opportunity came up or anything like that. We sold our house because the church my husband just took a new job at has a parsonage, and that means we can live there rent free. You can’t pass that up from a financial standpoint.

Even if the parsonage is way smaller. And darker. And filthy. And smells bad. And looks like the Byers house in Stranger Things AFTER monsters started coming out of the walls. (ie 80s but gross)

And what makes it harder is that people berate me every time I try to share how hard this is. “You can’t beat free.” I know, I know, but can’t anyone try to imagine how I’m feeling? If you were in my shoes, would it be easy?

Anyways, so back to the comment. I’ve been doing this fanfic thing long enough that in some ways, the comment just made me roll my eyes. But it was kind of like the proverbial straw, you know? I had been trying to hold it together for days, and this mean comment pushed me over the edge. So there I was, crying at my kitchen table surrounded by moving boxes.

To compound it all, I haven’t written much at all since November. Scratch that, more like October. This is frustrating because it’s something I love, and it also causes guilt over all my WIPs. But we decided to put the house on the market in early November, and our realtor said we needed to get it listed before Thanksgiving, so there was the frantic race of “decluttering” ie half-packing the house and a million and one little home repair projects and deep cleaning. Then the house was shown only four times, and we got an offer. Great, right? Only they wanted to move in TWO DAYS before Christmas. That was a hard no for me. So they comprised and said two days AFTER Christmas. Their offer was over the asking price, so we had to take it.

But did I mention the parsonage isn’t livable yet? So yep, we have no home right now. (I won’t say homeless because that word means something very different and much more serious than what we’re going through.) I’ve slept in so many different places over the last week, that this morning I woke up and couldn’t remember where I was.

Did I mention I also have three kids?

If you’ve stuck with me so far, don’t worry, I won’t go into all the details. Just understand that our family of five (plus a dog) will soon be living in my aunt and uncle’s basement for possibly two months. While I homeschool.

And now I feel like I’m whining again. I’m really not a whiner, I promise. I’m just trying to a) explain why I have disappeared for so long and b) why that negative Ao3 comment came at the absolute worst possible time.

That comment was the least of my worries on that particular day, and a week later, I just don’t think it’s worth discussing. Maybe, though, this tale will help people remember to pause before they type something on the internet. Because the person you are addressing has a real life, and there is no way for you to know what they might be going through. I was actually a little happy when I saw the email because a nice comment would have been a bright spot in an otherwise tough day. Instead, it was a kick while I was already down. Comments have a lot of power for a creator. I wish they didn’t. I wish we all “just wrote for ourselves” or could brush it off easily. But writers are sensitive creatures as a rule, especially fanfic writers who are only doing it as a hobby, not for a career. So, you know, just stop and think for a sec. That’s all. And this comment served no purpose whatsoever. I wrote the fic so long ago, there’s no way I’m revising it. Ironically, the person ended the comment by saying, “Enjoying it so far, though.” Which rang totally false after their long list of what was wrong with the story.

Side note: the comment has made me contemplate a post on writer’s tips for writing children well. I’m not just a homeschooling mom, I’m also a former teacher. People seem to seriously not realize this, but teachers have to take college courses on child and adolescent development. We are around children a lot, too, so (shock!) we actually are experts in the field. I don’t know - is that something anyone would be interested in as writers? Because you don’t have to be a parent to write kids well - @whimsicallyenchantedrose and @distant-rose are awesome at it, and they don’t have kids. So if you want tips on that, I’d love to share. It’s something I can kind of get on a soapbox about, lol.

And as for my readers, I’ll tag you all so you know where the hell I’ve been. So here comes the tag list, and I’ll now shut up:

@snowbellewells @teamhook @kmomof4 @jrob64 @xhookswenchx @thisonesatellite @welllpthisishappening @spartanguard @ohmakemeahercules @tiganasummertree @sparlecorn93 @sals86 @pirateprincessofpizza @xarandomdreamx @zaharadessert @huntressandlioness1 @jamif @undercaffinatednightmare @onceratheart18 @sparlecorn93 @sals86 @pirateprincessofpizza @xarandomdreamx @zaharadessert @huntressandlioness1 @winterbaby89 @hollyethecurious @svenjaliv

#melanie rants #or cries?#haha #my real life #writers woes #the joys and struggles of fic writing #where i have been

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facade · 5 months

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vent long personal heavy ok

it’s really helpless and crushing how im always cornered back to the same sad answer of how i should have considered the future earlier. my legs are in so much pain, im crying from how much my body aches and im simply told, you shouldn’t have been in your room all day — despite the fact i wasn’t allowed to go outside, and there was seldom walking space in our awful house. i was always sick, and always dizzy. it is crazy how dangerous black mold can be and yet we had a complete infestation of that and more. i want to consider pursuing a career ive had since i was a child though, im so passionate about art and i still am which might be a blessing considering how much commissions are hurting me mentally and perhaps physically .. opening several, several batches a year, constantly cramming them.. i think i want to do college. but i didn’t take on the scholarship i had when i graduated! i didn’t take the aid that covered my first year.. truthfully i didn’t think id make it so far. im insecure, im suicidal, im fragile. the past decade, i could barely get through anything without crying. it was humiliating to exist as i was in middle and highschool due to the living situation i was in, with no money and feeling i had no true support or even solidarity with my own mother, who must have been under much more stress than i was, trying to provide for her child. but still didn’t sympathize with me at all. the situation was hard, but i should have worked harder .. honestly, i do feel selfish for not having taken advantage of my moms effort to keep me in school, but ahhhhhh, i think it was just too much. i didn’t want to live like this. i was ashamed and disgusted, i still feel discomfort associating myself with that life. i cling to childhood and youth and traditions i missed out on because i lacked so much of that routine as a kid. is it so wrong to cry and want to die that you never got to experience a proper, loving christmas like everyone in your schools did ? no toys, no cable, only a tiiiny tiny laptop (like a 2008 chromebook-like thing) to keep me busy.. i wasn’t allowed to go outside of my own house to play with the dog, nor was I allowed to have anyone come over. wasn’t allowed to visit other people’s houses… not like i remember of that much anyways, as i barely remember anything from childhood except mortifying things.. i recently saw a way to connect to my mother by opening up. i confessed to her a lot of things as i was a mute child and never shared anything, never felt comfortable to — about how it affected me, about how i feel like im in stasis. i told her about what happened between me and my father, what happened between me and my brother, and i felt empty when she looked away from me and didn’t answer. No closure or comfort, and simply said that i should have taken advantage of my opportunities when I had them. And i have sabotaged myself. nothing else can explain for my disability, my mental health, and my plummeting education.

It took me 6 years to get an ID. 5 years to get a bank account. I don’t know how to learn how to drive and I am scared but I have to. i cannot go anywhere without someone’s help, primarily hers.

it feels too unfair, and i am still grieving for every year that passes by, even the previous year, that i am still locked in a house. i have never experienced much that i can call positive memories until i went to be with my best friend and my boyfriend. but that just made the memories painful too; when I think about how I have to end the trip. Board the plane or get in the car, and cry about how I have to go back home and be with my mother. it is not normal, to dread going back there so intensely. i wish i had a different life very badly, honestly, but a comfort i have now is that i think i am now strong emotionally and legally that i can make my own plans, manage my own bank, decide who i can visit without the permission of my mother. but. that is not because of my strength, and it is actually because she is sick. and she now has cancer as of september. I feel like i have been held in my mothers arms forced still for an entire two decades and the only reason she’s let go is because she is, her health is not well. And she has prepared me this week, a conversation of where to find her records, her files, her will, her passwords. Everything, if she passes away soon. i want to sleep forever, because i don’t want to wake up to a day wondering if it will happen soon. I don’t want to be in this position. I am scared. I wish I was with people I loved who loved me. i am shaking and sad. I wish I was too drained to cry anymore because I do it too much, for years. I wish I wasn’t such a sad person. I wish I wasn’t so miserable, I wish I had more happier things to think about when people ask me how I am. I feel miserably

I was gifted breath of the wild a couple years ago, now i am finally playing it. it helps i think. i really enjoy it most for the animal interaction and cooking and exploration.

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chasingperception · 10 months

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I don’t usually talk about my dating life here, but hoo boy...the video call I just had with a guy I matched with on Bumble.

We matched earlier today, messaged a bit, and he realized that I was outside his distance range and wanted to end the chat. Then he changed his mind and wanted to keep talking, so I asked for a video call, to which he agreed but then sent me a huge wall of text about why he wanted it to be a short video call and why he doesn’t like coffee dates. I wish I had screencapped it, but it was basically about how long video calls take away from the excitement of a first date and how he likes to do different things for dates than he would with his friends.

So now I’m thinking, “Well, that’s a bit intense for a message, but maybe I’m being a little harsh...” and I agreed to a short video call.

The time we agreed upon happens, he video calls me. He apologizes for the bad angle (which wasn’t all that bad). I say hi, and thank him for the video call, and I explain that it’s my way of making sure the person on the other side is real. He seems incredulous that catfish exist and kind of goes off on “what do they get out of it?” etc.

He interrupts himself to show me his dog, because she’s being cute. I’m fine with that - show me all the dogs! I love dogs!

When he finally turns the camera around, he’s still kind of fixated on that I had asked for a video call and goes off about how video dates are too much like work so he doesn’t like them. I’m now thinking that yeah, this guy is a bit intense... eh, maybe he’s nervous.. I manage to ask, “You had mentioned that you don’t like coffee dates because that’s what you do with your friends. What do you do for dates that you don’t do with your friends?”

He responds that he goes for drinks. And I’m thinking, “Well, I’m not a drinker, and wtf, you don’t go for drinks with your friends?” He’s going on and on about how coffee dates aren’t good because no one is excited for coffee and how dinner dates are too long because what if he doesn’t like the person, etc, etc.

At this point, I’m thinking I need to find a way to end this call, because this dude is too much. He’s lowkey ranting and I’m not getting a word in.

Then he completely changes the subject back to his dog.

Him: “Oh, by the way, my dog is a service dog. I don’t have a disability or anything-”

Me: “Wait. If you don’t have a disability, how is she a service dog?”

Him: “Oh, I don’t have a disability, but she’s a service dog. I got her in the beginning of the pandemic and when things started opening up, I didn’t want to leave her at home, I love her so much, so I started looking into service dogs-”

I think at this point my face must’ve reflected my shock because...

Him: “I learned about how service dogs can go anywhere and I learned about emotional support animals.... you aren’t law enforcement, are you?”

Me: “No, but I work in healthcare and I think it’s abhorrent that you’re claiming your dog is a service dog when you don’t have a disability. You make life harder for people who do have disabilities and who need to go places with their service animals. I am ending this video call and I will unmatch.”

Him: “Wait, really?” *shocked Pikachu face*

Me: “Yes. You’re lying to get your dog into places. We are not compatible. Good luck with your dating. Good night.”

I ended the call and immediately unmatched.

Truthfully, not the worst video call or worst date I’ve had, but still... one for the wtf column.

#online dating #bumble app #bumble #not my worst date

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starblaster · 2 years

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I can't speak for op of that post but autism itself ISN'T solely a good thing. It's a disorder and a disability and while I'm happy for a lot of people who are comfortable being autistic, a lot of people are actively harmed by the symptoms that come with the disorder itself not just the social aspects of it and I think it's really unfair to act like it's always a gift for everyone who has it. I don't have to love something that makes it harder to live my life. I'm happy for you if you do, but I don't.

with respect, i don't agree with the categorization of autism as a 'disorder' to begin with. we are pathologized as disordered when compared to allistic people.

i never said autism itself was “solely a good thing”, i said i hoped the original poster meant ‘diagnosis isn’t always a good thing’ because autism itself is just autism. it’s not inherently good or bad. i didn’t disagree with most of that post. i disagreed with some of the wording, and had ideas i wanted to add in the tags. i wasn’t formulating a structured argument or anything. but, now that i am:

i also never said that autism is always a gift, or implied that it is a gift at all. like, that’s straightup not what i said. my comment was about how an autism diagnosis is something i never wanted and didn’t need because all i got from it was trauma; what i needed were accommodations and i never got them. instead, i was put in “therapy” where i was dehumanized and trained like a dog for nine years of my life. and now i’m an autistic adult and i desperately wish i had some external support, but there is nothing and no one that can provide me with the support i need outside of the psychiatric system, which has done nothing but harm me. if allistics accepted and embraced autistic people, we wouldn’t be left in the ‘care’ of people who harass us, abuse us, and control us.

yes, i am comfortable being autistic. but my executive dysfunction frustrates me. i don’t enjoy having meltdowns. it took me my entire life before i began accepting myself as an autistic person, and all that entails.

it's not that we don't know how to communicate, it's that allistics lack the compassion to learn how to communicate with us without treating us like we're subhuman. it's not that we're "slow" learners, it's that allistics keep forcing us to learn things on their terms, at their pace, and in their learning styles instead of our own—and punishing us when we can't conform to their impossible standards. we have physical limitations that allistics either accuse us of faking, exaggerating, or they ignore our limitations completely and do nothing to meaningfully, non-judgmentally help us.

the world around us was built to hurt us for being autistic. it was built to make our lives hard by ableists. i’m not saying we wouldn’t still have frustrations and pain and hardship related to being autistic if all of the ableism around us went away, but i am saying that we probably wouldn’t experience nearly as much of it. the reason autism positivity is important is because it is not possible to “cure” autism. we can’t be ‘turned allistic’. allistics need to accept us, especially high-support autistics.

high-support autistics deserve to receive the care and assistance they need without that support only being provided under the condition that they submit themselves to the inherently traumatizing ordeal of having their very autonomy ripped away from them. they deserve support that isn’t contingent on how ‘obedient’ they are. they deserve support from people other than ‘mental health professionals’ who dehumanize them and talk down to them and hurt them. they deserve caretakers who actually listen to them.

and all autistics deserve to get the treatment and assistance we need for high-instance concurrent physiological things like seizures, gastrointestinal issues, and incontinence, too, without also having to be forced to endure the various so-called “therapies" (operant conditioning) that force us to behave and conform according to allistic standards and be obedient to make allistics more comfortable with our existences while we suffer for the sake of appeasing them. and we deserve the right not to work, like all disabled people do.

if we could get actual care and actual accommodations for things without the strings attached, without caretakers and healthcare providers controlling our lives without our consent, wouldn’t our lives be easier?

#and i’m not even mentioning the ableism we face from our own families #who refuse to care for us or accommodate us or they call us burdens to our faces #who shame us for existing etc. etc.#autism tag

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clockwork-fayz · 1 year

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Macey’s Review of Best Picture Nominees 2023*

2022

*Now featuring Crying Factor!

Women Talking: 10/10

Words cannot describe how I felt watching this movie. It takes place in the span of one day and is literally just women talking, yet it felt like the stakes were higher than any action movie that came out this year. It was my first watch of the season and it is a strong contender. I wish they could have brought August with them. Crying Level: 3/5 though it was more like I was shell shocked.

Everything, Everywhere, All at Once: 9.8/10

This movie made me sob. It made me laugh. It made me uncomfortable, but damnit if it didn’t have the best message out of all these movies. Did it top Women Talking for me? YOU CAN’T COMPARE THE TWO, WHOSE IDEA WAS THAT? The ONLY reason is is not getting a solid 10 is because of the butt plug scene and the hot dog fingers in the mouth. Crying Factor 5/5 I was not expecting to bawl my eyes out and want to change my life

The Banshees of Inisherin: 7/10

This movie aggravated me to no end at how bleak everything was. What did we learn from this movie? That if you are depressed, ruining someone else’s life isn’t going to make you feel better. That I want a hook on a stick. And if someone threatened to sever a finger every time I talked to them, I would go out of my way to talk to them every time I saw them. I’m not getting hurt, good luck doing things without fingers mate. Crying Factor: 3/5 Friendship breakups are harder than regular ones. And donkey deaths are harder than regular ones too.

Tar: 4/10

It is important to remind people that I am dumb and some movies are just too psychological for me. Even the internet seems confused about what the purpose of this film was. I was so bored and I don’t trust Cate Blanchet ever. Even in Lord of the Rings. Crying Factor: 0/5 unless you count when I saw how long this movie was

Top Gun Maverick: 8/10

Don’t be fooled, this is a sports movie. I know what Harry Styles meant now when said “it feels like a movie” cause this sure is a movie. It has drama, romance, great music, Miles Teller; Grade A casting right there, damn that was spot on for Goose’s son. I bet if you grew up watching Top Gun (unlike me) this was equivalent to me watching the Force Awakens in theaters. Is it Oscar worthy? No. But is it a good time? Yes. Crying Factor: 2/5, personally it didn’t hit for me but for others it might

Triangle of Sadness: 5/10

This is parasite all over again. You root for no one, everyone sucks, life sucks and the ending is of course open ended which sucks. Stupid film festival movies. The only character I somewhat liked was YaYa because I felt like she respected the grind. Minus points for making me sea sick, minus points for killing children, and minus a thousand because I could see the dead lady breathing. Crying Factor: So much death, yet you have no one to grieve.

All Quiet on the Western Front: 7/10

It’s nice of filmmakers to remind us at least once a year that war sucks. What does this movie have versus others? Daniel Bruhl, and outstanding debut performance by the lead actor, and cinematically amazing. But in a few years will I remember this movie or the greatest beer run ever? I think you know the answer. Crying Factor: 3/5 you don’t love the characters enough to mourn them.

Elvis: 8/10

It took about twenty minutes to remember that this was a Baz Lurhmann film and I was not having drug induced hallucinations. Luckily it calmed down about halfway through. The ending though, with “Unchained Melody” and the real Elvis footage, that is how you end a biopic people! Crying Factor: 2/5 I really love “Unchained Melody”

The Fablemans 7/10

#LET MICHELLE WILLAMS BE IN A HAPPY MARRIAGE #AND GET HER INTO THERAPY. The beginning was just darling when he was a little guy and I kind of wish that the plot focused only on his filmmaking and not the rest of his messed up life. Crying Factor: 1/5, maybe if you can relate to little not Stephen, then you would get misty eyed, but I was just pissed as hell at the mother.

Avatar Way of Water: 7/10

You go through a lot of phases watching this movie. First you are unerved from the CGI. Then you get used to it and you are like okay this is a compelling story. Then you get unnerved because wtf the whales speak sign language? Then you accept that because this movie is literally whack, of course they speak sign language. Then the last 45 minutes you go back and forth between wow this is a good final battle to wait it’s still not over? But one things stay the same the whole 3 Hours: the feeling to scream JAKE YOU DUMBASS at your screen. Crying Factor: 4/5 That scream from Zoe Saldana tears you in two, even if it is coming from a computer generated alien

#maceyreviewsbestpicturenominees #theoscars #academyawards #bestpicture #avatar way of water #the banshees of inisherin #everything everywhere all at once #the fablemans #women talking #triangle of sadness #top gun maverick #all quiet on the western front

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ravetothegrave · 2 years

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A note to the ghost in my house:

After a couple months time has passed. After we exchanged the last of our things and made small talk. After your bragging upset me and I drew a line between our contact. After I’ve tried dating, made new friends. After I booked concert tickets and got a new dog. After I painted the house and filed away our pictures.

I still love and miss you.

I find myself thinking about you without meaning to. Things just aren’t as fun as they used to be.

I know in my heart that it’s over, and if you were going to rush back you would’ve done it by now.

In many ways I thought I was drifting through life blessed, anything I desire has come easy to me. This experience has reminded me that I can feel pain, and I am not an inherently lucky girl.

I have learned what true heartache is. Some day I will grow in strength and independence. I long for that day when I don’t wake up thinking of you. Some day I will finally wipe your fingerprints off the wardrobe door and say goodbye to the pictures on my phone.

A part of me longs for the phone to ring, or my door to knock. And it be you, and you be sorry, and me too. I can’t help but think that we were meant to be, all the signs pointed in that direction from early on. We were happy, weren’t we?

But if that’s not going to happen, thank you for the fun times. It obviously meant so much more to me, so it feels silly that I can’t move on yet. We experienced one of the worlds weirdest times together and I found love in that. I have so much love to give, maybe next time I’ll give it to the right person.

The idea that I gave so much to someone who in the end could so easily walk away without a fight breaks my heart. I’ve been making peace with the idea of never holding your hands again. But if I knew our time was limited I’d have held them harder.

Sometimes I hear a song that reminds me of your family, or I watch something and wonder if it was something you’d seen. The way you could discard me makes me think you never valued me as a person. If you wanted to live elsewhere, do something different, be with someone else, I would have made my peace with that. If only you had said. Someone even hinted you might have been unfaithful, and that has been twisting around in my stomach like a rat.

I know you don’t care whether I live or die, but I still care about you.

I hope your mind drifts and sometimes you think about days on the sofa or in bed laughing and watching scary movies. I hope your heart hurts even a bit, at least reassure me that what we had wasn’t entirely fabricated in my head.

I hope you find it hard to move on, like everyone reminds you of me, and the idea of kissing a stranger makes you sick. I hope it disturbs your sleep and distracts from work. I hope the idea of moving on with your life paralyses you.

Because all of this is me, and I’m right here where you left.

I hope you’ve realised your answers aren’t at the bottom of a bottle. And that I loved you like nobodies business.

I wish you were softer towards me. I know you’ve made it your life to hate the people who’ve hurt you, and I’m in that club now. But don’t you realise there are no victims or persecutors in a game of who can hurt each other the most? If you ever read this letter, god forbid, you’d wince in distaste. Whereas only months ago you would have detested the idea of this scenario, a nightmare playing out.

Remember when you almost crashed to your death, and your family told me I should leave you, but I didn’t. Remember when you used to wake me to change the bed sheets? Remember when you used to stay up all night screaming the house down while I lay in bed? Remember when we got drunk in town and you argued you wanted to drive us home? There is only so much emotional battering a girl can survive. And you stopped trying to get better.

Your memories are probably skewed to suit the narrative that I’m an unlikeable person. At one time you and I said if we didn’t work out we’d be best friends, I guess I was the only one telling the truth on that. I’d have you in any capacity, I’d be a distant friend you never catch up with in exchange for this. So yes, I asked you to leave. The why is obvious. But I’d have gave it every shot again and you said no. Maybe it wasn’t all that deep with you. It was for me. But if you ever needed me, I’d probably be there. Sad to think you wouldn’t be the same. Unless of course you DID cheat on me, then you can go to hell.

I’m going away for a week on Monday, to read books in the sunshine and gather my thoughts. Maybe this will give me the clarity I’ve been looking for.

And I no longer dance with your ghost in the kitchen.

0 notes

sunsynth · 2 years

Text

maybe, in some other time.

i don’t write this in the hopes of you seeing it. ok i lied. i kinda did. i missed alot of things i wanted to say. but i also write this because i have to express. otherwise, id feel choked up and id fixate on this. if you read this, hey. it’s for you. it’s always been you. above everyone else. above all the crushes i talked about, whom i liked but also tried to make you jealous with (like a teenager does). above everyone i met. crazy. fucking crazy. (me im the crazy one. who the fuck does that)

i failed to say thank you, for everything. that was so selfish of me. thank you for being a friend for the past 5 years. for being someone i learned to love along the way. for being someone i gained alot of inspiration and happiness from. do you know how much you meant—still mean— to me. thank you. you are possibly the best person i could have liked in a long time. the way you ended things. i know i hurt you too. but accepted it.

i know it was selfish to end things [unilaterally]. i had to move on. it hurt me alot knowing it was never going to amount to something. i’m sorry i had expectations i tried to stop myself from having. i wanted you, badly. i didn’t tell you because i was scared of ruining what we have. i am also severely not ready for any form of commitment.

it was unfair to pin such expectations when i myself was not ready for commitment. it’s funny to think about it now but early on i already wanted marriage, a car, a dog, a cat, a farm, a child (maybe), a lab, a brainchild. i felt like i could do anything if you were by my side.

i don’t worship the ground you walk on. if that isn’t clear. i was hurt too, how it felt like i wanted it more than you. i mean clearly, i do. i still do. i chose not to have expectations but i wanted you to like me a little bit more. i wished you showed it to me a little bit more. i wanted assurance. maybe you replying to me until 3 am was assurance. i don’t know. i felt so insecure and lost. it’s where it started too. i didn’t know if you wanted it as much as me. it’s my fault for not communicating this too. but yeah just 2 be clear... ure not perfect in my head. at all. if you’re worried about that. but i loved you just the same.

things would have been difficult for us. but fuck man. haha. i wanted to try so bad. i see will darbyshire and arden rose being countries apart. granted, they have the mobility. we do not. but i see other couples. and i wanted. so bad. but i know i wasn’t good enough for you. ever. and i would have hurt you with the state of how i am. and how much i wanted it. i learned, more than anything, desiring is sometimes bad (especially if it’s to this degree).

and it’s why i ended things too. i loved you so bad. my friends found it funny how we won’t talk for months. but i talked about you frequently. i found it funny too. in retrospect, maybe i idealized what we had. but it was so meaningful to me. you were so special to me. i wish i tried harder. i wish i fought more. i wish you showed a little bit more. i wish i was a little bit more honest. i wish i asked you back in 2020 if we could have tried. i wish our conclusion was better than this.

but also, im good with the way things have been. it was painful. i cried for an hour after i did that. the next few days id tear up randomly. i didn’t cry alot tho. maybe i had been prepping myself lol. i knew we wouldn’t work. i was aware of my own bad expectations too. but it felt like i was missing a piece in my life. it felt like something stuck in my throat. i still feel like i lost something great. the grief will be something i have to learn to work around with for the next months. the impact was that great. but i don’t resent you. i don’t resent myself too for what i did. i think ultimately, it will be better for the both of us.

thank you. always. i think a part of me will love you, always. im forever perpetually fucked for having a crush on someone so grand and charming and kind and thoughtful. the bar was raised and i will never lower it again.

if we do ever meet each other again. (i do think about this. sue me. the country is a small place. we are in similar fields.) i hope we meet with kind hearts and warm smiles. if not. well. haha. we’ll compete to death chz :) above all else, i really do wish for your happiness and health and ambition and whatever you want in your life. and whatever you need. i hope you’re safe. i hope you’re happy. i truly do. thank you.

0 notes

captains-simp · 3 years

Note

heksbdkshs you’re jock!carol fics give me life, could you do one where jock!carol and the reader have been keeping their relationship a secret and one of those girls that love gossip finds out and like the next day everyone knows ??

You've met soft!jock!Carol. Now it's time for angsty!jock!Carol

4.6k words

Warning: homophobia (plus slurs), bullying, mentions of declining mental health mild violence and some clique high school douchebags (yes that gets a warning)

[ masterlist ]

Buy me a coffee ☕

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

You barely looked up when the paper airplane landed swiftly on your desk in front of you. It was only when you caught a glimpse of the red and blue stripe along the side that you spared it a glance. You prodded it with your pen and dragged it across the desk towards you, feeling a pair of eyes watching you eagerly from the back of the class. You unfolded the note carefully until a small sprawl of letters became visible, barely spelling out the word 'purple'.

You bit back a smile at the message and scrunched it up into a tight ball, throwing it in the bin near your desk before going back to writing your notes. You wanted to turn around and meet the eyes you were certain were staring at the back of your head but you knew you couldn't. It had become routine and you swore it was still the hardest part of your day - pretending you didn't notice her.

The bell in the corridor rung loudly and the second it did everyone in the class got up from their seats, ignoring the final reminders from the teacher at the front. Students swarmed into the corridor and amongst the crowd you lost sight of her for a few short moments until the wave of blonde hair appeared ahead of you where she maneuver to the side to be greeted by others in the same blue jacket. You caught her eye for a split second as you went by but it was no more than that. You wished so much that it could have been longer, that you could confidently stroll down those corridors hand in hand with her. A short hug. A brief kiss. A small smile. Anything. You just wished you could have more than fleeting moments with the blonde.

It felt like you could finally breathe properly when you left the suffocating building. The crowd dispersed into smaller groups while you walked out of the school grounds with a slight trot in your step. The further you went the less people you saw until the streets you walked down were near empty. The small corner shop eventually came into sight and you sped up slightly at the sight of your destination, not spying the red car you were always looking out for but knowing she was somewhere close by, she always got there first.

Instead of going into the corner store, you went through the narrow alleyway besides it and around the back of the store. You weren't in a sketchy part of town and even if you were you wouldn't have been afraid of going down the alley, not when you knew who was around the corner waiting for you. You had told her that last time you were there when she had asked you out of sheer curiosity. Apparently she wanted to challenge that truth.

A pair of hands shot out besides your and covered your eyes in an instant, not giving you any chance to stop it. Before you could even give a startled cry, her body pressed firmly against your back and the familiar smell of vanilla surrounded you. Relaxing in her grip, you felt her sway playfully as she leaned forwards to plant soft kisses along your neck. "Guess who?" She mused and you smiled as you tilted your head back for her.

"Hey, Care Bear." Carol groaned against your neck as she pulled her hands away. "I told you not to call me that." She complained, though her smile betrayed her when she spun you around to face her. You instinctively wrapped your arms around her neck as she held your waist softly, kissing you with enough passion to tell you she had been missing you too.

"How'd your test go?" Carol asked between kisses as she guided you backwards to lean against the nearest wall.

"Okay, I passed." You said absentmindedly. "How'd your game go?"

"Okay, I won." She copied and you couldn't help but smile faintly.

"That film you wanted to watch is on tonight, at 11. Wanna go?" The Captain asked as she stopped kissing you to talk properly and kept her hold on you so you stayed close.

"There's show times a lot earlier than 11." You laughed but stilled when Carol scrunched up her nose. "What? You don't want to be seen in public with me?" You teased but there was something very genuine to your question. You felt a familiar pang in your chest when Carol's grip loosened and she looked away.

"Y/n, we've talked about this." Your girlfriend sighed.

"I know, I'm sorry." You muttered as you tried to look as unbothered as possible but knew your face gave away the disappointment you felt so intensely. "You know if I could I would go out at all hours with you, where ever you'd want to go. It's just not that simple." It was hard to truly believe those words when your girlfriend sounded so exasperated, like she was having to explain to a child why they couldn't draw on the walls or have candy for breakfast.

"I know." You said because you really did and you felt guilty for bringing it up.

Carol had told you before you had even started dating her that your relationship would have to be secret. You didn't go to the most gay-friendly school for one thing. There were no openly gay couples there and to be honest you didn't have the nerve to be the first. Carol was content on being popular and you were happy staying under the radar with no intentions to change that. Above all Carol believed it would make securing her scholarship a great deal harder. You were never sure if that was just her fears or if it could really affect it but you respected where she was coming from. That didn't stop it hurting. It didn't stop you envying all the couples that got to openly love their partners. You always reminded yourself that keeping your relationship secret took as much of a toll on Carol as it did on you, she was just far better at hiding it. She was good at hiding a lot.

"Is that a no on the movie?" Carol asked with a strong hint of upset in her voice and unintentionally heart wrenching puppy dog eyes.

"11 right? Sounds like we have a lot of time to kill." You smiled wholly as you glanced at the old blanket fort you had built together months ago, right after you had gotten red and blue slushies that you had spilt on one of the blankets inside and stained purple. That wasn't the only thing that was turned purple that day but was the one that seemed to be permanent.

Carol smiled eagerly and wrapped her arms around you tightly again. "I love you, you know that right?" She asked genuinely and you returned her bright smile.

"Always, and I love you too, Care Bear." Carol rolled her eyes but kissed you softly again, treasuring the feeling of your soft lips against hers and the vague taste of the lunch she had discreetly bought you that day.

You swung open your locker door and made to shove as many of your school books inside as you could until you halted at the sight of a small, folded up, piece of paper in the base of your locker. You crammed your books into the tight space and stood as close as you could to it as you unfolded the note, knowing it wasn't for the eyes of the rest of the world. 'East feild field supply shed, lunch' was all it read in the familiarly rushed handwriting. You scrunched the note up and put it in your pocket, locked your locker and made your way down the corridor with a sense of uncertainty in your step. Carol never wanted to meet inside school - it was practically a rule. You would text each other as much as you could and even call if you were lucky, but you were never physically together.

You continued on to the field and walked across as nonchalantly as you could. You only vaguely knew where that specific supply shed was because it was rarely ever used and not to mention half submerged in the woodland bordering part of the field. You glanced around as you neared it and when you were sure no one was near by you dipped behind the back to an awaiting Carol, sat cross legged on the floor and trying to balance a spoon on her nose.

"Hey, are you alright?" You asked hastily as you put your bag down on the floor and stared at your girlfriend in concern.

"Of course I am, you're here." She said simply and held both her hands out to you. You took them with a confused smile as Carol guided you to sit on her lap and cupped your cheek with her hand.

"Are you sure? We don't usually- we never-" Carol pecked your lips to successfully silence you.

"I know, but I missed you too much." She said with a contagious smile. "Really. I just wanted to see you." Your smile grew as you nodded and lent forward slightly to kiss the blonde back.

"I missed you too."

You stayed like that for the rest of your lunch break, enjoying each other's company and embrace as you ignored the rest of the world that wasn't shielded by the old wood around you. It was pretty much perfect. You knew it couldn't become habit so you tried your hardest to just focus on the there and then. Carol seemed to be thinking the same thing, letting her guard down more than she ever had when you had to part days.

The Captain chuckled as she kissed you after backing you into the shed door. You pushed her back lightly with a giggle, feeling giddy from everything happening. "We gotta go." You laughed more when Carol trapped you against the shed, clearly not having any desire to attend her next lesson. "Carol." You scorned, making her pull away only to gaze at you adoringly.

"Okay." She huffed and stepped back to give you space to move. The moment you did she laced your fingers together and held up your hand to her lips, giving the back of it a soft kiss before letting you go. You grinned back at her as you started in opposite directions, your hand still tingling from your girlfriend's soft imprint.

You were both so blissfully unaware of your surroundings you forgot to make a quick check of anyone near by. Neither of you were aware of the eager eyes following both your steps, nor the digital lens that followed with them. However that was something that became very much apparent the next day. The eyes that landed on you as you ventured down the school corridors weren't subtle. They weren't kind either.

You felt like there was a spot light on you everywhere you went and it went on for a while. Some people would look away once you glanced anxiously in their direction while others stared back with a distasteful and all together brutal glare. It was clear that everyone knew something you didn't, something that soon brought your mind to Carol. Where was she?

That was a question you had to wait a while to be answered. Your girlfriend wasn't in any of the few classes you had together, something that wasn't completely unheard of for her but was especially anxiety inducing on that day. It was during lunch break that you finally saw her. You were thrilled and filled with relief when you saw the blonde hair and blue jacketed figure making its way towards you where you sat under a tree on the far edge of the field. However as she got closer and you were able to distinguish the infuriated look upon her face, all the relief drained away. You had seen her angry before. She had been known to have a short fuse and with a team that wasn't the brightest and some games not going the way she would have wanted, you knew what angry Carol entailed. But what you saw that day was something new.

"What the fuck?!" She yelled and you stumbled back a couple of steps in shock.

"W-what?" You fumbled when you realized Carol's new found fury was directed at you.

"What did you do?" She demanded as she advanced to being a short step away from you. Suddenly, having Carol so close didn't hold the comfort it usually did.

"I don't know. I don't know what's going on! Everything was fine until..." you trailed off when the Captain turned her attention to her phone. You glanced between her and the screen, not understanding why she suddenly didn't want to pay you any attention. However, when she showed you her screen your heart dropped. Any other couple wouldn't have minded the picture. They may even have loved it. You and Carol couldn't take a moment to admire the moment that was captured, because you both knew what it meant. You were so close together in the photo, arms tightly around each other as you shared a kiss. You were unbreakable. Were...

"Who... how did they..." You barely managed to speak, feeling far too numb.

"You tell me, y/n." Carol crossed her arms defensively and continued to glare right into your eyes. You thought that hurt more than anything else that had happened that day and honestly ever.

"I didn't do this." You whispered, too shocked to fully comprehend what your girlfriend was accusing you of.

"You wanna rethink that answer? Because this secret has always bothered you a lot more than it has for me." What? You felt sick at hearing her words. You had spent the whole relationship thinking, fooling yourself into believing that it was both sided. How much did she care?

"There was a time you wouldn't fucking shut up about it for two seconds and no matter how many times I explained to you why we couldn't go running around holding hands like goddamn kinder-gardeners you still couldn't get it through your skull that is was the smart decision. Do you not like what's happening today, y/n? Does it upset you?" She gritted in a sickeningly mocking tone that you had never heard before. It was just plain cruel. "Well buckle the fuck up because it's going to get a hell of a lot worse, especially for me. You'll be happy though, won't you? This is what you wanted." Carol finished, chest heaving and eyes ablaze. That was all you could really make it through your teary eyes.

"No this isn't what I wanted." You started to sob as you reached out for Carol's hand but she smacked it away hard. You recoiled in alarm and tried again. "Please Carol, I would never do this. I just wanted what you did." Carol scoffed at your pathetic attempt at explaining yourself, far from believing you in your hysteric state.

"Fuck off." She spat as she gave you one final glare and turned sharply on her heels to leave you were stood. Alone.

"Carol, please!" You begged but the blonde had had enough.

"Stay away from me." She shouted back and you stopped in your tracks, only able to watch her leave.

"No." You whimpered in defeat and dropped to your knees, breaking down in tears as you felt like your world was crumbling around you and there was nothing you could do to fix it. There wasn't even anyone who could help you through it anymore.

Carol was right. Things did get a lot worse after that, in a lot of different ways. Your heartbreak was the worse thing. You spent every moment you weren't in school curled up in bed, soaking your sheets and pillows with tears, scolding yourself for everything that had gone wrong. You knew, deep down, that it wasn't you fault, that it was Carol who was entirely in the wrong but you found it impossible to hate her. It would have been so much easier if you had been able to. It might have hurt less.

School was a much worse place to be. You saw Carol every day but a word was never passed between you. Anytime you caught her eye she looked away quicker than you could read her so it was hard to tell if she still hated you. All you knew was you weren't her favourite person. That was one thing, but the bullying was something else. It was relentless, ranging from everything between graffitied slurs on your locker to being shoved into them. Your grades dropped and your mental health declined with it.

"Move, fag." You gave a low 'oof' as you were tripped into the railings along the stairs. You held your stomach and winced at the instant throbbing pain there. You avoided the eyes you knew were on you but when you risked a glance up you saw the blonde you weren't sure if you were avoiding or not. You held her gaze longer than you had since she had broken your heart, your breath catching in your throat when you saw the undeniable pity written across her face. In that moment you found yourself wanting to go up to her. What you would do or say you weren't sure of, maybe it would have come to you got there.

You took a bold step forwards until you were cut off by a junior who gave you the first friendly smile you had seen in a while. You didn't trust it at all, like it was a mask worn by the devil himself to trick you. "Hey." He greeted. You opened your mouth to speak but you had no clue of what to say. "I just wanted to say I thinks it's pretty cool what you did." He said simply.

"What I did?" You asked slowly and he nodded back with the same smile.

"The picture." He clarified. You clenched your jaw and peered over at the blonde who was still watching you cautiously. "I know it wasn't you choice to have it taken or anything." He rushed when he noticed your defensive stance. "And I can't imagine what you're going through right now." He added with a sympathetic look. "But seeing you guys together in a town that isn't exactly the best place for it has given a lot of us a some hope. Most of the world is becoming more acceptant, it's only a matter of time before things change here too, even if you're not here when it does." He shrugged before getting distracted by someone in the corridor. "Plus you guys are a cute couple." Ouch. He smiled at you and waved at his friend as he made to leave.

"I gotta go but I hope I see you around." You nodded slightly as you pondered his words. You glanced at Carol and was surprised to still see her standing by her locker, it felt like some strange stand off and you wondered if she had heard what the junior had said to you. She wasn't that far away by the corridor was beginning to get crowded and loud.

You made to walk towards Carol but the second you did she took off like a startled deer. You sighed as you watched her go. Maybe it was for the best that you stay out of each other's way after all. Despite whatever the hell had just happened, the blonde's last words to you played as clear as ever in your head. They still made your heart ache as much as it did the first time around.

Things didn't change between you and Carol after that. It was hard, near impossible on some days, but you started to try and get over her. You didn't want to forget and you certainly didn't want to regret it because until the end, your relationship with Carol was the best thing that ever happened to you. Knowing that made it so much harder to move on. Not to mention a large part of you didn't even want to. You loved Carol. Making yourself fall out of love with her was just as difficult as when you had tried to stop yourself falling in love her nearly a year prior.

Given the absence of progress between you and the Captain, you honestly thought you were hallucinating when she called your name one day after school. You spun around in every direction to find her, something that wasn't that hard when she came jogging towards you. "Can we go somewhere more private?" She asked as she glanced at the onlookers. You nodded quickly, your mouth and throat feeling far too dry for you to even attempt to speak.

You walked in an extremely awkward silence towards the field. You were waiting for Carol to speak first and you were hoping she wasn't thinking that you would do the same thing given she had approached you. Unless she had done it on a whim, you really hoped not. It was only when you were alone that she piped up.

"I'm sorry." She blurted out. You glanced at her in surprise, an apology was the last thing you were expecting. "I'm so so sorry. I was so stupid- beyond stupid. What I did was something I promised I never would and I hate myself every moment for it." You stared at the blonde blankly as she continued to ramble away. You had never seen her so frantic and you were so taken off guard by it you didn't have a chance to notice the irony of what was happening and how drastically the roles had been reversed.

"I was just so scared and that's not an excuse I'm just trying to explain." She paused to peer at you properly, waiting to see if you really understood that. You gave her another weak nod. "I didn't know what to do. It felt like I couldn't trust anyone and I got defensive to try and protect myself. I didn't mean any of it. Anything. Especially about not finding the secret hard." That was something you had been longing to hear but once you did you couldn't bring it in yourself to believe her. "There were days I had to stop myself screaming in the corridors or in the cafeteria that I was in love with you. It was even harder not being able to hug or kiss you whenever I wanted to." You listened on intently.

"I just wanted what was best for you and I didn't know what that was." She admitted. You had the sudden strong urge to reach out and hug Carol, but you also wanted to walk away. You didn't get much chance to consider your options because a group of Carol's old friends came sauntering around the corner, eyes lighting up at the sight of you and the Captain.

"Don't stop on our account." One of them snickered.

"If you're gonna dyke out you might as well make a show out of it." Another added. Your skin crawled in discomfort and Carol noticed instantly.

"Fuck off." She spat but the group ignored her.

"You know you probably just haven't had the right dick." The first one said as he eyed you up and down. You backed up and found yourself moving closer to Carol. "I'm sure I could make you straight again." He mused sickeningly and made to grab your wrist but the blonde stepped in front of you.

"I said fuck off. No one wants your two inches, Walker." She challenged and got an instant reaction. He went to swing at Carol but she swiftly kneed him in the groin before he got the chance, barely able to stop herself smirking when he doubled over with a groan. The blonde turned to you and jumped forwards when she saw one of the other boys go to grab you.

"You get the fuck away from her." Acting on pure instinct and adrenaline, Carol swung her fist forwards and caught the jock in the jaw with a crunch. The other boys looked between the two injured and Carol, quickly making their call in grabbing their friends to leave.

Carol turned to you swiftly with worry and concern on every inch of her face. "Are you alright?" She asked as her eyes scanned you for any signs of injury. You gave a shaky yes, avoiding Carol's gaze. "Fuck, this is the kind of thing I was always afraid of, above everything else." She said as she ran a hand through her hair. You caught sight of her red fist and without any thought, took ahold of her hand gently. You ran your fingers over the redness softly, not realizing you were crying until a tear dropped down onto Carol's hand. At the sight of it you broke down crying more.

"Oh ba- y/n." The blonde sighed, heart breaking in smaller pieces at the sight of you. It hurt even more to see when she wasn't sure if she could hug you or not. Luckily for her she didn't have to feel useless for long because you reached out for her and clung onto her jacket as you buried your face into her chest, crying harder. "I've got you. It's okay, they're gone." She cooed. "I'll never let anyone hurt you again." You knew she was thinking of herself more than the boys when she said that.

You stood like that for a while, crying against Carol as she rubbed your back and continued to whisper reassurances to you. "Promise." You hiccuped between sniffles.

"I promise." She said instantly. You slowly pulled away to read Carol properly, watching closely for any tell of a lie and finding none. "Could you give me another chance?" The blonde asked, barely above a whisper as she feared your response. She would respect it entirely if you said no, but she really hoped you wouldn't. "There won't be anymore secrets and I'll never be a dick to you ever again."

"I'm scared." You admitted and Carol nodded tightly as she fought back tears herself.

"Me too." She admitted. "We don't have to stay here." You lifted your head up to look at Carol clearly and she continued. "We could leave, go where ever we want. There's only a couple months left of this shithole."

"A couple months." You repeated. Carol nodded encouragingly, desperate to find a bright side and winning point.

"Could you do a couple more months here?" She asked carefully and you nodded after a few seconds.

"Lets do it." You said with a sharp intake of breath.

"Fuck, really?" She laughed lightly and you found yourself doing the same.

"Yeah." You smiled. "I can't stop loving you and I don't want to." Tears started to fall down Carol's cheeks. You cupped her face gently and wiped the tears away with your thumbs. The blonde's own hands held yours as she smiled down at you.

"I love you too." With a sudden, unexpected, burst of confidence, you leaned forwards and kissed Carol longingly. She deepened the kiss instantly and wrapped her arms around your waist to keep you as close as possible, like she never wanted to let you go again.

"Everything's gonna work out." She whispered once she pulled away to rest your foreheads together.

"Of course it is." You smiled softly. "You'll be with me."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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raggaraddy · 3 years

Note

you are so incredibly sweet, thank you for being so nice!!!!! 💜💜💜

I was wondering if you could write something related to Y/N running away, and when the yandere finds her she’s drunk and ends up slapping him in the face when he tries to get her back home? What would he do? I won’t stop you from writing what happens when they first get back home as well 👀 With jungkook please!

I’m so sorry for making this so long and I hope I’m doing it right 🥲 I also hope I didn’t make it too confusing, english isn’t my first language. Thank you!! 😄

Nothing more.

A/N: Thank you for your request chicky. The story really poured out, and I'm very happy with the result. All because of your incredible prompts. I hope you're happy with the story also. 💜💜💜

If anyone else wants to request, you can here.

Summary: You thought Jungkook couldn't make your life any worse, but you were wrong. A poorly thought through escape attempt and too much vodka later, he is going to remind you that he can always make it worse.

Trigger warning: Yandere themes, alcohol consumption, abuse, violence, non-con, anal, abduction, drowning.

Mafia! Jungkook

There was an opening, so you panicked. A mistakenly unlocked door and an unguarded gate were all it took for you to be bolting down the street in nothing but a pair of shorts and a singlet. No bra, no shoes, no money, nothing. Worst of all, you had no plan.

You were in a suburban area so you could run to any house on the street and have them call the cops. But how could you do that? You'd regularly seen officers in meetings with Jungkook. He owned so many of them. How could you be sure you wouldn't end up with one of his?

You were only a few dozen kilometres from your old campus. You could find your friends, or reach out to your family. But Jungkook would never let you. He knows who they are, and where they are. All of them. There's even a file. He's proudly shown it to you before. If he knew you went to them, if he thinks you told them anything, anything at all, he would kill them. You don't doubt it for a second. He would kill them, and in all likelihood, he would make you watch.

The last option you have is to just run. Hitchhike, steal, get as far away from here as possible. Get out of the country, somehow, and try to hide, try and start something that could be considered a new life. Honestly, though, that thought is just as fanciful as the others. You have no idea how you could stay off his radar. Even if with hitchhiking and sleeping on the street you could get across the border, then what? You don't know how to apply for a house, a job, a bank account, or anything without ID. Or how you would go about getting a fake ID. Or how you could possibly pay for that. He's left you with nothing and no one purposefully. If you run he would find you. And if he didn't kill you, he would surely make you wish he did.

An hour later of aimless running you've made your way to the national park. But there is nowhere to go. Nothing to do but to wait for him to find you.

Sitting on one of the benches, you're trying to hold it together but your sadness is overwhelming. You're crying into your knees when the faint sound of a cart catches your ear. Looking up and along the dimly lit path, there are two homeless men each with a trolly. One of them with a dog sitting up in his.

Approaching you tactfully they keep their distance while checking on you.

"You alright miss?" The older man with long hair and a beanie asks. He looks about your dad's age. Thinking that for a second makes you cry harder. The two men sharing a worried glance between them at your heightened distress. "You know it's not safe to be running around like this, alone." He gestures to your lack of suitable clothing.

"It's not safe anywhere." You sob. Not meaning to speak your mind.

"Oh yeah, I know that feeling," the mid-thirties man with army tags and the dog adds.

"Can we do anything to help? Do you want to talk?" The older man suggests.

Lowering your head you shake it.

"Do you wanna drink?" The other asks, holding out a cheap half-empty bottle of vodka.

A small closed-eyed smile pulls onto your face. Accepting a half-drunk bottle of alcohol from strange men in the middle of the night, alone in a park? It wouldn't be your worst decision today.

"Yes." you look up nodding, "Very much yes."

One of the men sits on the bench alongside you, and the younger sits on the ground. His dog laying in his lap. Slowly, the three of you hand the bottle around. You welcome the toxic taste knowing it's a small price to pay for feeling better.

Gradually as you drink the three of you start swapping war stories. The older man, John, lost everything in a divorce and then again to drug addiction. And the younger man, Mike, could never get on his feet after he came back from service. His mental health ruining every job he had. Listening to their tales filled with real-world problems, you feel absolutely paltry in comparison. But still, you share your woes.

"15. 16. One of those. All die-dead. All dead." You slur and stumble through your words. You've only been allowed to drink on Jungkook's say so, so your tolerance is shit. And it's hitting you a lot harder than the men. Taking another deep swig, your gag reflex kicks in, making you feel as if it's a good idea to pass the bottle along.

"Okay, but why?" John asks.

You shrug with most of your body. "I-don't-know. I was in the car. He just lined them all up and pow-pow-pow-pow-pow. All dead." you act out the very gruesome execution you saw Jungkook order.

"I get why you left then. Smart move." Mike rests his head on the dog, scratching under her chin. "Where you gonna go though?"

You shrug again, biting your lip firmly to fight off another wave of emotions. "I don't know. Nowhere. I'll just wait on this bench until Jungkook- ah, until he comes to find me. I didn't say his name. You didn't hear his name. Shh." You chortle, pressing your finger to your lips.

"I don't know if this is related," John says gesturing subtly down the path, "But those two guys have been sitting under that tree for a while. And they keep looking over."

Looking in the direction he motioned, it takes your eyes a moment to focus past the blaring light of the lamppost ahead of you. But there are two of Jungkook's men. That, or it's two guys in suits just chilling in a desolate park at night next to you and two homeless guys. Which is less likely.

"Ah shit, that was quick." you snort, looking at your empty wrist, that you normally don't wear a watch on anyway. "I don't know the time."

"It's a little after 01:00." Mike says.

"Ah, okay then it's been- it's been. I don't know what time I left." You tipsily laugh again, reaching for the vodka from John's hand. "Okay, last one." You slurp, holding the alcohol in your cheeks for too long because you're sure you're going to vomit if you swallow it. As it starts to burn your mouth tissue, you down it, your whole body shivering. "Uck." You hand it back to John with a forced smile. "You should go."

"We can wait here," Mike says, with John adamantly nodding.

"Nah, they prob-ly called him. It's better for you to go home."

"Come with us, there's a spot not too far that's sheltered. You won't get found there." Mike explains, standing.

"It doesn't feel right leaving you," John adds.

Leaning back on the bench you hold your arms out, laughing dryly. "He probably won't kill me. But- he'll defiantly kill you." you try again to shrug off the severe topic and your emotional build.

But as John's head flicks up spotting something across the pond, you look ahead seeing a blurred image of Jungkook walking around the trail towards you. Another three men on top of the original two joining him.

Now it's urgent.

"Seriously go," your face is numb but as much as possible you project the necessity of what you're saying. Thankfully they accept your warning. Mike lifts his dog into the cart and both he and John calmly but swiftly leave the way they came.

Jungkook is 20 meters from you by the time they are a hundred in the opposite direction, nearly out of sight. You roll your head forward your shoulders shaking as you silently giggle to yourself. It's all you can do to hold onto the endorphin high the alcohol is giving you.

A single set of footsteps continue along the pavement until you see a pair of boots on the floor in front of you.

"Who were you're friends?" Jungkook's gravelly voice as calm and eerily as ever, asks.

Rolling your head back up, you flop back into the seat. Your vision having a hard time fixing on him. "They were...trying to sell me stocks. Wallstreet guy'sa struggling at the moment. They all look homeless." You chuckle, amused by yourself and the absurdity of this situation.

Paying extra attention to him, Jungkook has the slightest evil grin on his face. Tilting his head a little as he watches you.

"So, what happens now?" you broadly push your hair aside with the backside of your arm.

"You're drunk."

"So."

"Let me get this straight, you thought while making me search for you and come out here to collect you, that you would also choose to get yourself hammered?"

"Why not?" You shrug, standing up wobbly. "Can't get any more in trouble."

"Is that what you think? Cause I think you might be wrong."

"Nah, that's it. Nothing else. No more cops. My family. Friends. I don't even have any anymore. But if I did, I don't and they're gone too." You're finding it hard to articulate, but your heart is aching right now. He's saying it can get worse, but really there isn't anything else he can take from you except your life.

Looking over your drunken ramblings Jungkook starts to chuckle. "Stupid litt-" he starts.

Your arm swings out, your open palm and wrist slapping the side of his face. Enraged by how callously he is acting and that he is laughing at your pain, you hit him. Smacking his head to the side with a solid clap.

"Don't laugh at me while I am talking." You point your finger up at his face, scolding him as his head stays stuck in the place it landed. "You took everything from me. I hate you." You swing and smack again. The angle of his head making it harder to aim. Only the tips of your fingers swatting his cheek. "Asshole," you mumble, stumbling back a step.

"Oh, my stupid. Little. Kitten." He snarls, his eyes burning with malignant intent. "I haven't taken everything from you yet, but I will before the night is over."

His own hand swings out and his open palm smacks the side of your head, knocking you over. His hand tangles in your hair at the same moment, curling and twisting further, dragging you in the direction of the pond.

There's a slight slope and when you get a few meters from the water he throws you forward, letting you stumble and crash, falling into the pool. It's not very deep, but falling on your hands and knees, it comes up to your back. Your head flicking backward gasping for air as you try to push yourself up. Jungkook follows in after you, his hand trapping into your hair as he stands in the water up to his calves. He rips your head back, making you sit on your knees.

"First we have to sober you up Y/n." He shoves you forward holding you under the water. You push and thrash. But the base of the pond is slimy and muddy and you can't get any grip. Just as your lungs burn and your head throbs he drags you upright, letting you breathe. Only to force you under another time. And the same as before, his weight is pressing you down and you can't brace yourself on anything. Reaching your limit you gasp in a mouthful of water, Jungkook yanking you up just before you are forced to take another.

Coughing, your body is convulsing trying to expel the water from your lungs and your stomach. Making you puke up a mouthful of bile, vodka, and pond water.

"Head working yet?" He leans over to watch your panicked expression. Your hands clinging into his pants desperate to stop him from drowning you again.

"M sor-" you splutter, severely winded and choked, unable to get control of your body. "Sorry," the word comes out as you heave and is barely complete but it's enough for Jungkook to understand.

"Not yet, you're not."

Hardly able to keep your legs under you, you are mostly hauled through the dirt as Jungkook, followed by his men, drags you to his car. You're dripping, dizzy, and shaking, and thrown into the trunk. Sealed into darkness. Tossing and squirming, feeling every bump and corner knocking you into the walls until finally the car stops. Your queasy stomach grateful for the stillness.

Outside the metal confines, you can hear muffled voices. You're scared right now, but it's only from not knowing. There truly isn't anything more he can do to you. As long as he isn't going to hurt anyone you care about, you can take anything he wants to do. He's done it all before.

After a lengthy stretch of silence, the boot opens. Jungkook's forceful unspoken demands getting you out of the car, throwing you against the outside of the garage door. With the unsteadiness of your legs, you fall down onto the driveway, hard.

It's only you and him. And the garden hose in his hand. Squeezing the trigger a sharp pressure of cold water shoots at you, making you squeal. Roughly he starts to tear at your clothes. Lifting your singlet overhead, he leaves you topless. His furious pulling at your shorts drags you along the pavement. The bare skin on your back scratching painfully. Doing it this way he's going to trawl you down to the gate sooner than they come off. Your own efforts help to remove them to stop yourself from being hurt further.

Now naked, Jungkook turns the hose on you again. Probably washing the mud and pond water away. Leaving you like a wet dog by the time he finishes.

But really, he's not finished. His wordless commands don't stop until he directs you to the bedroom. A streaked pile of his own soaking clothes trailing through the house. And by the time you hit the bed, he's down to his boxer briefs.

Using your legs to flip you over, he puts you onto your stomach, the blanket covers sticking to your skin as it absorbs the excess water. Laying still and desensitized, your mind is blank as you hear Jungkook busy around you. The cupboards open. The door closes and you hear the slightest crinkle of a condom foil being torn.

Eventually, the matress dips around your legs and he climbs onto the bed behind you as expected. Pressing on your calves, he brings your legs together. Keeping them shut with his knees on either side.

Kneading your butt, his hand's grip and grab at the muscles. Digging in excessively. But if fucking you is going to stop him from beating the hell out of you, then so be it. It's not like you have any say in it anyway.

Bringing your elbows into your chest, you hold your arms under you to prop yourself a little higher. The taut bunching of the bedding in your fists making your frustration remain subdued and out of mind.

Behind you, there is a snap of thick plastic. Sounding like a push cap. You're trying to not pay attention and to just give in, your alcoholic high having fully disappeared, but he is drawing the whole thing out, so your anxiety won't settle.

"I want you to remember, Y/n, you were the one who said that I couldn't take anything more from you." The spitefully spoken words are accompanied by his hands prizing apart your butt cheeks. A cold sensation pressing into your ass. Gasping as the shock, the pain, make you lurch forward.

A solid tug on your hips pulls you back into place and his thighs clamping around your legs keeps you there. The heel of his palm brutishly dug into the small of your back further restricting you. With only one hand now, he presses his thumb into your ass again. Your hips and body reactively clenching as you bite your teeth to stifle the scream that wants to erupt.

He really did want to find a way to prove you wrong.

The second hand comes off your back and you feel him pouring something cold down your ass. His hand moving away before his finger pushes back in. Deeper than before. Hurting more and in a way that you had never felt before.

Panic and pain bring back the tears you thought you had gotten rid of for the night. Making you cry as you whine through it. Releasing your hands from under you, you twist and wriggle. Reaching back in an inadequate attempt at resisting.

"No!" You sob, trying to push him off, to push him back with limited movement. "I'm sorry, I'm," the futility of your situation makes you cry harder. "Please. Don't."

To stop your struggle, to limit your movement, he drops his body down. His hand only pressing deeper inside as he does. The unfamiliar, frightening hurt worsens and makes you cry out.

"You think that hurts?" you can hear the smile in his tone as his breathy words brush against your ear. "If you keep fighting Kitten, you're gonna make me be mean and I'm gonna fuck you without lube. And then you'll really feel what pain is." All of his weight lays on top of you, smothering you into the blankets. Your arms and your legs losing their fight at his ruthless threat. "So behave, and don't you dare assume that I can't find more to take from you."

#yandere bts #yandere jungkook #bts smut #bts fanfic #yandere #yandere bangtan #bts reactions #bangtan reactions #jungkook #bts requests #bts fan fiction #bangtan fanfic #bts jungkook #bts smut reactions #bangtan mafia #mafia jungkook #mafia bangtan #mafia bts

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animeomegas · 3 years

Note

Imagine that Sasuke is having problems with his 'future alpha', he doesn't understand some dating methods and ends up 'reluctantly' going to ask Itachi's alpha.He just blushed saying 'I can't believe I'm doing this but I need some advice'.Itachi's alpha comes home late looking happy and Itachi holding his dog asking where he's been.

Anon: I think Sasuke would only start liking Itachi's alpha after they help him stand up to a bigger, stronger, more trained betas and/or Alphas. Because I don't see him as someone who might ask for help from anyone, and his brother's alpha somehow saw them bully him and push him around, so they tell him how to one up those annoying people. (Maybe buy him ice cream or something after). This young Sasuke vs Itachi's alpha thing should be a show, because I'd sell everything I own to watch it.

(Anon 1: This is a big brain idea, anon, thank you for your service 🤭 I changed it a little, how that's okay!)

(Anon 2: I think you're absolutely right that Itachi's alpha does something big for Sasuke when he's at a low point, and it ends up changing their relationship for the better in a lot of ways. I decided not to go with bullying though, because Sasuke seemed to fit this scenario moreso. Also, ahhh, I'm so happy you're liking this mini series!!!!! I'm having so much fun writing it and it fills me with joy that other people are enjoying it just as much!!!)

...

Okay, so, Sasuke has never been the most intuitive when it comes to emotions. And he’s also never been great at acknowledging or learning about culture surround a/b/o dynamics because he’s always been adamant that he doesn’t care for it or need it.

But now Sasuke is starting to think that may have been a mistake. Because things are going wrong with this whole courting situation (that Sasuke still can’t believe is happening to him.)

Things were fine! But now the alpha courting him is getting colder and not wanting to train as much, and Sasuke doesn’t know what’s changed! He’s angry and upset about it.

He’s been brooding for about a week about the whole situation, but now he’s decided to ask someone for advice.

His friends are useless. His mother just laughed and told him it would work out if it was supposed to. Shisui is on a mission. He’d rather die than ask Kakashi sensei. So, unfortunately, he had to ask his brother, even though he was sure to get some embarrassing and invasive questioning from him. The sadist.

So, he goes to see his brother.

Who isn’t there.

His brother’s alpha tells him that Itachi is out with their pup all day running errands and taking him for his bi yearly check-ups. But Sasuke needs to know what’s going wrong and how to fix this now! He doesn't have time to wait for Itachi to be done with his stupid errands!

His brother’s alpha notices how tense he is and asks if he would like to stay for some tea, and Sasuke accepts before he thinks about what he's doing. Their relationship is much better nowadays but Sasuke can’t help but feel a little awkward around them still.

…

“Here,” they say, sliding two teacups onto the table. “You like green tea, right? It’s the only type we have in, you know what Itachi’s like with tea.”

“Green tea is fine,” Sasuke says politely if a little stiff.

His brother’s alpha sits down at the other side of the couch with their own tea, and the two sit in silence for a bit, each sipping their own tea

“Sasuke,” they say, shooting him a concerned look. “If you need me to go and get Itachi, I can. You don’t look well, he’ll come back in an instant if you ask him to.”

“No,” Sasuke answers quickly. “It’s fine… I…”

Here goes nothing.

“I’m just having a bit of trouble at the moments, is all, and…”

Itachi’s alpha nods, obviously listening intently with a look of concern on his face that is making this both harder and easier for Sasuke at the same time.

“Go on, Sasuke, I’m listening.”

“I’m sure Itachi told you about my… my er situation,” Sasuke starts, wishing he could punch himself in the face for phrasing it like that.

“That someone’s courting you?” they ask gently.

Sasuke only nods, face burning. He can’t count the number of times he’s told Itachi’s alpha to their face that he’d rather die than enter a courtship. This is so awkward, why is he doing this?

“Did they do something to make you uncomfortable, Sasuke?” they ask immediately after seeing his hesitance. “Because if they did, we can sort it out together okay? It’s not your fault.”

“No!” Sasuke immediately protests far louder than he intended too. “They didn’t… They didn’t do anything, I just… I think I did something wrong…”

Sasuke pretends to drink his tea to avoid having to elaborate any more, despite the fact that it’s still too hot.

“What did you do that was wrong?” they ask, voice still quiet and soothing and Sasuke hates how comforting he finds it. Like it or not, his instincts had branded Itachi’s alpha as ‘safe’ many years ago.

“I don’t know,” Sasuke admits, fiddling with the rim of his cup. “They seemed sad one day and I just thought they had a bad day or something, but now they’re… cold.”

“They aren’t behaving how they were behaving before?”

Sasuke shakes his head.

“Is it possible they have an issue at home or with some of their friends? It might be something in their personal life that's upsetting them.”

Sasuke shakes his head again.

“They seem fine when they’re with everyone else…” he admits. “It’s just me.”

Sasuke forces back the burn of tears he can feel behind his eyes. He will not cry. He won’t do it.

His brother’s alpha hums sadly.

“And you want to figure out what happened?” Sasuke nods. “Okay, why don’t you walk me through what happened on the days leading up to the mood change.”

And so Sasuke does.

He tells them all about how they would meet for training every day and Sasuke would bring two bento boxes for lunch, and then they would sometimes go shopping or go out to eat. Things he hasn’t told anyone about yet. And as he's talking, he really can't see what the problem is, everything seems fine! But maybe Itachi’s alpha might know some alpha thing that he doesn't. Sasuke can easily admit that it’s not his forte.

“I see,” Itachi’s alpha says after Sasuke had finished his story. Sasuke’s tea sits cold on the table next to his brother’s mate’s empty cup. “I think I know what happened.”

Sasuke looks up immediately. No way they’ve already figured it out that easily!

“They thought you were rejecting them,” Itachi’s alpha says simply.

“Wha- But…we spent everyday together! How could that be a rejection?!”

“When an alpha is courting an omega,” they start to explain. “They’re trying as hard as they can to prove to that omega that they can be a good mate.”

“I know that,” Sasuke snaps.

“Listen to me for a second, Sasuke," they softly reprimand. "So, when an alpha, particularly a younger one, is courting an omega, they are very sensitive to rejection, they look for it everywhere.”

“Why?” Sasuke asks, dumbfounded.

“Well, when I was courting your brother, we weren’t that much older than you are now, and I remember thinking that he was the most perfect person in the whole world,” their eyes take on a faraway look as they reminisce. “I was so sure that he must have had hundreds of alphas clawing for his attention every day, and so I was desperate to prove to him that I could be a good mate.

“With every gift, on every date, I would watch his reaction to everything, overanalysing every laugh and smile and frown. I loved him so much, but I couldn’t help but think that he would reject me at any moment. He was too good for me, and I knew that. It always felt like he was humouring me, especially at first.”

“That’s stupid.”

“Yeah,” they laugh, unoffended by Sasuke’s harsh tone. “Looking back, I guess it was, but what I’m trying to tell you, is that I can see how some of your actions could have been taken as rejection by a young alpha who was expecting to be rejected.”

“But…” Sasuke says, looking lost. “I didn’t want to reject them, I don’t understand.”

“Here,” they continue patiently. “Let me explain it to you like this. When you went out to eat, you paid for yourself even though they offered, right? Because you didn't want to burden them?"

“Yeah,” Sasuke trails off, unsure what that has to do with anything.

“But to a young, hormonal alpha, you’re basically telling them that you don’t trust them to provide for you, the one thing they are trying most to convince you."

“But I wasn’t-“ Sasuke protests.

“I know you weren’t,” they reassure him. “But that’s the sort of thing that will run through an alpha’s head at that age when courting. Also, you told them you wanted to train with them because you thought they were strong because you wanted to compliment them, right?”

Sasuke blushes but nods.

“And that’s great to start with, but eventually they would probably start to wonder why you wouldn’t want to train just to spend time with them. And you also told them that you had plenty of leftovers to make their lunch with so that they wouldn’t feel like they were burdening you, right? But that just made them feel like you weren’t going out of your way to do something special for them, even though you were. Do you see what I mean now?”

Sasuke blinks, rapidly trying to wrap his head around all this new information.

“And I also have a guess as to what pushed them over the edge into thinking you were rejecting them.”

“What is it?” Sasuke demands. “Tell me.”

“Did they make that scarf for you by hand, Sasuke?”

“Yes,” says Sasuke hesitantly.

“And they scented it?”

Sasuke nods affirmative.

“Did you give anything back?”

“I… Just said thank you… is that not right?”

Itachi’s alpha shakes their head with a patient smile.

“A handmade and scented gift is the most important and meaningful courting gift that there is, Sasuke,” they explain. “It’s what you give to someone to ask them if they want to move from courting to something more serious, to intended mates.”

Sasuke blushes and feels some panic rising in his chest.

“I didn’t know!” he blurts, feeling the need to explain himself.

“I know,” they rush to reassure him. “But the etiquette dictates that the omega, if they wish to move onto that stage, gives the alpha a handmade and scented gift in return, no later than a week after the original gift was given. They must have been very nervous waiting for you, and very upset when you didn’t even let them down softly.”

“It’s been two weeks,” Sasuke whispers, mortified that he had missed something he should have known. This makes so much sense. The sudden depression, the awkwardness at training, the nerves after they had given him the scarf. He’s such an idiot. Against his will, Sasuke starts to feel tears burning at his eyes again. He messed everything up!

“Oh, Sasuke,” they say, scooting closer to him. They hesitantly lay a hand on his leg, and Sasuke makes no move to push them off. “It’s alright, you can fix it.”

“How?” he sniffs, furiously wiping away any tears that manage to escape. “They probably hate me now.”

“Come here,” they say, pulling him into a hug. And for the first time ever, Sasuke accepts a hug from his brother’s alpha.

“It’s alright,” they soothe. “We can fix this, I’ll help you.”

“What can I do?” he questions, feeling miserable.

“You need to make them something and scent it. Then you can explain what happened afterwards, but the gift should go a long way in smoothing over any ruffled feathers. I can help you make something, what do you want to make?”

Sasuke shrugs, still resting his head on his brother’s alpha’s shoulder.

“How about some cupcakes? Itachi and I were planning on doing some baking with the pup tomorrow, so I have all the supplies. And I’m sure we have some ribbon lying around, you can scent the ribbon and use it to tie up the box, how does that sound?”

“But what will you use tomorrow?” Sasuke asks, feeling a little better, but still red in the face.

“I can buy more, Sasuke, don’t worry, but this is a courting emergency, so we have to do it now, okay?”

“Okay.”

…

Itachi comes back from his errands just in time to watch his mate helping his little brother tie a ribbon around a box of cupcakes. The kitchen is covered in baking supplies and empty bowls of batter.

Did they bake cupcakes together?

Itachi can’t believe it. He had been trying to get them to get along better for years.

When Sasuke sees him standing in the door, he blushes and, holding the box of cupcakes to his chest, pushes past him and out the door with a quick nothing more than a quick and murmured greeting.

His pup wiggles in his arms and demands to be put down. He obliges and they immediately run to his alpha for a hug.

“Hey there, buddy, have a good day?”

“It was boring,” they complain. “And the mednin had cold fingers.”

Itachi’s alpha laughs.

“Well, I know something that might make you feel better,” they tease.

“What?! What?!”

“Uncle Sasuke made you something very special,” they say, bringing down a spare cupcake from on top of the counter, iced in his pup's favourite colour. The way his pup’s eyes widen at the sight of it, makes Itachi smile. “You can have it after dinner, okay, and next time we see uncle Sasuke we have to remember to say thank you.”

Itachi watches in amusement as his pup nods furiously and immediately runs off to go wash up for dinner, despite the fact that Itachi hasn’t even started cooking it yet.

“Did you and Sasuke bake together?” Itachi asks, still unbelieving of what he had seen.

You smile, understanding how crazy that must have been for Itachi to walk in on.

“Yes, we… had a little bonding session,” they say. “I’ll tell you about it later, I promise.”

Itachi accepts the answer despite his curiosity and joins his alpha is cleaning the kitchen so that he can start cooking dinner.

And if both of them were smiling too much, well, neither of them brought it up.

#young!sasuke #itachi #uchiha #sasuke #itachi x reader #reader insert #a/b/o #omegaverse #naruto #omega!itachi #alpha!reader #headcanons #gn reader #gender neutral reader #alpha x omega #omega!sasuke

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dreamwritesimagines · 3 years

Text

Burn The Witch 17 - Bad Habit [Bucky Barnes x Reader]

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful support and feedback my loves ! ❤ Here’s the next chapter, I hope you like it as well and please let me know what you think! ❤ Thank you! ❤❤❤

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: Enemies to lovers, fake dating, mentions of blood, sex, violence, death, manipulation, language, guns, knives.

Summary: Everyone needs help sometimes.

Series Masterlist

It wasn’t that there weren’t any spies who didn’t lie to their superiors.

There just weren’t any spies who lied to their superiors and lived to tell the tale, especially on high stakes missions like these.

You tried to convince yourself that the General would never find out, but that wasn’t the only reason why you were freaking out. Putting false information on your report was bad, yes, but the worst part was that you were beginning to find it harder and harder to report whatever information you found out about your fake boyfriend.

For some reason, you had a feeling it wouldn’t just stop at one lie.

Your eyes opened as you snapped out of your sleep all of a sudden and you took a look at the window, but it was still dark outside. That wasn’t the problem, the problem was that you had gone to sleep with Bucky by your side but now you were in an empty bed.

“Bucky?” you whispered into the darkness and sat up in the bed. After kicking off the covers, you made your way to the living room but as soon as you got there, he opened his eyes and turned his head to look at you.

“Hey,” you whispered, “Are you okay? Are the bandages too tight?”

He pressed a hand over his side to check the bandage, then shook his head.

“No, no…” he said, “Did I wake you up?”

“Nope,” you said, “Is the bed too uncomfortable?”

“The opposite.”

You tilted your head “The bed is too…comfortable?”

He let out a small bitter chuckle and ran a hand over his face as you stepped into the room, then sat down on the floor as well.

“I’m not really used to…” he waved a hand to motion around you, “It’s not familiar to be comfortable.”

Ah.

Of course. You should’ve seen it coming, he was a soldier and coming back home was always so hard for soldiers, especially in Bucky’s situation.

You had so many nightmares after bad missions, you had no idea how you would sleep if you had anything close to what he had been through.

“Do you want to talk about it?” you asked and he shook his head again.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “I was hoping this wouldn’t happen.”

“Don’t be,” you murmured, “Do you want to be alone?”

“No,” he paused for a moment, “Please stay.”

Your heart skipped a beat and you pushed your hair behind you ear, taking a look at the pillow and the throw on the couch, then grabbed them and put them on the floor.

“Y/N, you’re not sleeping on the floor.”

You rushed to the bedroom to grab your pillows and the blanket off the bed, then went back to the living room.

“What are you doing?”

“It’ll be fun,” you said, putting the pillows and blanket on the floor. “Like we’re outside, only not with…annoying bugs.”

“You’re not serious.”

You plopped down the floor and gave him a bright smile. “I am!”

“Darling….” He started but shook his head with a sigh as you lay on your side, pulling the blanket over your shoulders.

“I’m very stubborn, you’re wasting your time if you’re trying to change my mind,” you informed him and he shot you a small smile, then lay down as well. You entwined your fingers with his, then looked up at the ceiling.

“My virtue is so screwed,” you pointed out, making him huff out a laughter.

“Oh absolutely.”

“I mean, there goes my hopes of…” you trailed off, “White picket fence house and puffy skirts and homemade pies.”

“What, you don’t want them with me?” he asked and your heart skipped a beat, then you stole a look at him.

“Can you even imagine that?”

“Yes I can.”

“I think I picture a movie,” you said, “There’s this….big yard, and white picket fences and we painted the house white but the door is red. And there’s a dog and— feel free to stop me anytime, Bucky.”

“Don’t,” he smiled as if picturing what you were describing made him happy, “Just keep going.”

“We have a rescue dog,” you said, “We got him from a shelter and named him… um, we named him something funny.”

“Is it a big dog?”

“Yeah and you take him on a run every night. Mornings with me, nights with you.”

“That’s a good schedule.”

“He likes me better.”

“Ouch,” his smile widened, “I don’t blame him.”

You hummed, “And you have a mustache I think.”

He shot you a look, “If you say a Clark Gable mustache…”

“I’m just putting it out there—”

“Nope. Not gonna happen.”

“Fine,” you let out a laugh, “And we have an apple tree in the garden. Wait no— we have an apple tree and a peach tree.”

“How big is the garden?”

“Not so big,” you said, “Like in those movies.”

He paused for a moment and you stole a look at him.

“You wanted a big garden?”

“Well,” he said, “We need a big garden for the treehouse.”

“We have a treehouse?”

“Depends,” he said slowly, as if he was intimidated, “Kids love treehouses.”

Your heart skipped a beat at the thought of having kids with him, for the hundredth time the image of a happier future where you weren’t a spy flashing in front of your eyes. You tried to stop the smile pulling at your lips.

“Yeah,” you said, “I think our kids would love them too.”

You could see the ghost of a smile on his face as he rubbed his thumb over your hand.

“Yeah?”

“Mm hm,” you yawned, “And in summer we would put a bouncy house thing in the garden and we would put a hammock between the peach tree and the apple tree and we would relax there while the kids are wreaking havoc in the bouncy house.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“Yeah,” you murmured, sleep luring you as you closed your eyes, taking in his scent, “Sounds like a good plan.”

***

You really didn’t have time to second guess yourself today. Yes you had lied to the General and spent the whole night with Bucky imagining an impossible future but now, you had to keep your head in the game.

You would figure out what you would do. Eventually.

This was a mission. You had to start acting like it.

“I don’t think I like this one,” you called out from the dressing room and in a second, the door opened to reveal Chloe who raised her brows.

“Wow.”

You tilted your head and stepped outside to look at yourself better. The gold body chain wrapped around the lingerie gleamed under the shop’s bright lights and you fixed the suspenders, clicking your tongue.

“Nah. I don’t think so.”

“Wow,” she said again, “I hate you so much, why do you look so hot in lingerie?”

“Chloe, every woman looks hot in lingerie,” you said as you walked back to the dressing room to try the next lingerie set. It was a red lace bodysuit and after a moment of struggle, you got into it, and opened the door again.

“Not this one either.”

“I can’t believe you’re going to sleep with him!” Chloe squealed, “Are you excited?”

You cleared your throat, “It’s just a mission.”

“Yeah but you want to sleep with him?”

“The dude is hot.”

“Y/N.”

“What?” you fixed your hair and frowned at your reflection, “Nope. I don’t like this. It’s too….meh.”

“I doubt Barnes would say meh if he saw you in this,” she said, “He’d probably pass out. You look like you’re about to grab your whip or something. Oh— Y/N, you should like tie him up or something! If we’re not going full on vintage, show him the modern fun times!”

You shot her a look, “Something tells me he doesn’t like to be tied up Chloe.”

“Why not?”

“Uh, because HYDRA scumbags tied him up a lot and he still has nightmares about it?”

“Ah,” she said, “I forgot about that. Hey, maybe he could tie you up!”

“I’ll tell you the same thing I said to Julian when he suggested I called him sir in bed,” you stated, “No thank you, I don’t do that sub thing.”

“Now I kind of wish we specified your cover’s kinks,” she heaved a sigh, “It’d make things so much easier.”

“My cover likes to be in control.”

“No, real you likes to be in control,” she corrected you, “Nothing about your cover says control.”

“Chloe—“ you started but stopped talking when the shop assistant approached you.

“Do you find it to your liking?”

“Um, not exactly,” you said, “I mean I like the color but overall—“

“Do you have bridal sets?” Chloe cut you off and your eyes widened.

“Easy there.”

“Like maybe soft pastel tones…. The whole thing though, garter belt and stockings and everything.”

“Of course!” she said, “We have some new arrivals, let me bring them here.”

“Chloe!” you whispered as the shop assistant walked away, “What the fuck?”

“Think about the dresses we picked for your cover,” she said, “Soft pastels. It makes sense that your cover would pick those shades in lingerie too.”

“Bridal? Really?”

“I mean, Barnes will want to propose you right there when he sees you in them so…” she grinned at you while you narrowed your eyes at her, “Come on! I’m very curious about how he is in bed.”

You tilted your head, “Is there anything you’d like to tell me?” you asked, “Because love triangles are so early 2000s.”

“Hilarious,” she deadpanned, “And no. My type is more—relaxed. Less serious.”

You scoffed and leaned back on the wall, crossing your arms, “You could just say Keith.”

She shifted her weight, biting on her lip. “I mean…” she trailed off, “He still doesn’t make a move though.”

“Why don’t you make a move?”

“I could never!” she gasped, “Nope. Ever. Besides, I thought you were against me dating spies.”

“I am,” you admitted, “But it’s your love life. If you want to date a guy who has an extremely dangerous job and worry about whether or not he will come back to you alive….”

“You’re very romantic, Y/N,” she said as the assistant came closer, holding the set. Even you had to admit, it looked very sexy and beautiful at the same time, with soft pastel lace adorning the fabric, and you took a look at the basque, then walked inside.

“Besides, you’re the one to talk.” Chloe called out as you got into the lingerie, then ran your fingers over the garter belt.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Your boyfriend does dangerous stuff too.”

“Fake boyfriend,” you corrected her, fixing the basque, and as soon as your reflection caught your eye, you raised your brows.

“Okay, maybe you had a point,” you admitted and opened the door, and Chloe grinned at you.

“See,” she said, “This is what I was talking about.”

You smirked at her and leaned on your hip, still looking in the mirror.

“Fine, I like this one.”

“Told you,” she sang and you crossed your arms.

“What dangerous stuff has he been doing lately?”

“He was texting with Wilson about some HYDRA person,” Chloe said, “Apparently they want to go after him. Tonight.”

“What HYDRA person?”

“No clue. And we can’t send a team because then it’ll be obvious— Y/N, I know that look,” she shook her head fervently, “No.”

You tried to look as innocent as possible, “I didn’t say anything.”

“You want to go after the same HYDRA person as them, but you have specific orders and we still haven’t got the okay from the top of the chain of command to go after that scum.”

“Chloe.”

“No. I’m not going to give you the address.”

“Well if Barnes ends up dead, I won’t have a mission will I?”

“He’s going to be fine, he fights better than you.”

You gasped, “How dare you?”

“He fights better than everyone in the division!” she insisted, “He can take care of himself.”

You pouted, “Fine,” you said, “I guess I won’t give Keith the idea of taking you out on a date then.”

She paused for a moment, “That’s bribery.”

“Uh huh.”

“You have no shame, do you?”

You motioned at the lingerie set you were in, “Does it look like it?”

She rubbed at her eye and let out a small whine.

“If my dad asks—“

“He’s not going to know.”

“Do you promise to behave?”

“I always behave,” you stated, making her snort.

“I don’t believe that for a second.”

“Please?” you asked, “I promise I’ll be safe. I’ll just make sure he’s alive, that’s it. I won’t get involved in anything.”

“You promise?”

“Cross my heart.”

Chloe pursed her lips. “For your information, I think picnics are romantic.”

“Dully noted,” you said, “Trust me, he will take you on a picnic. So, do we have a deal?”

She rolled her eyes, then nodded, making you let out a laugh and walk back to the changing room.

“I want candles on that picnic too!”

“Send me the list of your demands,” you called out, “I’ll make sure they’re all covered.”

***

In all honesty, Chloe was terrible at saying no to people, especially the people she loved.

You fixed your ski mask as you took a look at the text Bucky had sent you after you asked him what he was doing;

Nothing much, going home soon. You?

“Liar liar….” You sang as you typed your reply.

Soup Kitchen was so tiring, I think I’ll go to bed early tonight.

Fine. Maybe he wasn’t the only liar in this relationship.

You took a look at the building’s window through your binoculars, then lowered them to check your phone when it vibrated.

Good idea. Sweet dreams darling.

You tried to ignore the smile on your lips but as soon as you heard gunshots coming from the building, your head shot up.

“Shit,” you murmured and tried to see what was happening, but it was impossible. Whoever they were, they were definitely staying away from windows.

“Not gonna get involved,” you muttered, “Not gonna get involved, it’s stupid and puts the mission in danger. I’ll stay right here, he can take care of himself.”

For about five seconds, it worked.

“I’m being stupid,” you mumbled to yourself as you grabbed the gear around your waist, then checked whether it would actually carry you, “I’m being so fucking stupid, I haven’t even slept with the dude yet….”

You went over to the edge of the rooftop, then took a deep breath, grabbed the cables and jumped to crash through the window of the building the gunshots were coming from. You pulled your gun to shoot the person who looked like he was about to shoot Bucky, sending him to the ground and Bucky pushed the guy he was fighting with through the wall, then turned around to point the gun at you but as soon as he did, he frowned.

“….Shrike?”

“Hi handsome.” You unbuckled the rope from the harness, sending it up to the rooftop again as he lowered his gun. “Need a hand?”

Chapter 18

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #tfatws #the falcon and the winter soldier #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes imagine

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damnedparker · 2 years

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First fight with Pete ? 🥺 making the reader cry and instantly breaking down bc he didn’t mean it

i'm no good at writing angst i feel, but i tried my best <3 i hope it turned out okay!

9:57.

It had now been close to three hours since Peter hadn't shown up at your place for the date night you'd planned and although him being late or missing events for spider-related reasons wasn't anything new, that didn't mean it didn't hurt any less.

You understood he didn't control when criminals decided to cause chaos, and you understood the purpose being Spider-Man gave him. It lit up his eyes with determination and a feeling of self-worth that you wished he could feel all the time. Some nights it brought pain into those eyes, a sadness you wished you could cure with the thousands of kisses and soft touches you were sure you'd given him by now, but you knew it just wasn't possible. You did your best to share that weight, though. Push it off his shoulders as much as possible, letting him know the people that escaped his webs, whether for capture or for saving, they weren't his fault. He was one person, a man and not a god, and he simply couldn't do it all. And that was okay.

You understood. You always did. Because you loved Peter Parker. And you loved Spider-Man, too, but lately it'd been harder and harder to feel fondness for the superhero for stealing your time with Peter. You wished taking a sabbatical from vigilantism was possible.

So when your window slid open, a familiar blue and red leg stepping through, you were filled with relief, and also dread. You knew you had to talk to Peter about all of this. And with the tension building up about it every time you tried to bring it up the past week, you knew it would end in an argument. You and Pete really hadn't had a true fight yet, and you weren't exactly excited to get to that part of your relationship.

"Hey, beautiful," his hair popped almost comically out of the mask as he yanked it off. He made a bee-line to where you were sitting on the bed, a kiss pressed to your forehead just like every other greeting he'd given you. He seemed nervous, knowing he'd messed up, fidgeting his hands where he stood in front of you. "I'm sorry I missed date night. I know we were both excited for it..." You had to physically hold back an it's okay, Pete, because you knew it wasn't. You needed to be an adult, in an adult relationship. Because that's what you were; no matter how much Peter made you feel like two teenagers in love when he was with you.

"Can we talk?" The words alone settled a storm in your stomach. And the change in Peter's expression didn't help.

"Of course," his voice got quiet when he sat next to you. He fought the urge to hold your hand, put his arm around you, just touch you. Even though he needed it himself, and it looked like you did, too, with the way your hands picked at your shirt hem, the ten mile stare directed at your lap.

"I know Spider-Man is important to you, and he's important to me, too, because of that," you began slowly. You felt like your voice was shaking like a scared little dog. "And I will always support that part of your life. But lately I feel like I've seen more of you in that suit on my TV than I have you standing in front of me. And I just... I miss Peter Parker."

"I miss you, too," he gave a half-hearted smile. "I'm sorry... I just-- things have been chaotic lately."

"Are you going to elaborate or am I just supposed to accept that alone as an answer for the millionth time?" You gritted your teeth once the words left your mouth, in a tone far harsher than you meant. But you were frustrated. Something you couldn't hide any longer. "It doesn't hurt any less to not know what's going on when you're gone more than you're here. In fact, it's quite the opposite, actually, Peter."

"I'm just trying to keep you safe."

"You always say that, but safety and my peace of mind don't seem to be very good friends," you sighed. "Lately I just feel like-- like you don't trust me. To take care of myself, to just let me in on what's going on with you. It's always about my safety or you're too busy or whatever you say-- I'm just supposed to accept it. This is a two-way relationship but it feels like there's three of us, and Spider-Man is the one making decisions for the both of us."

"I just-- I don't want you to get--"

"Hurt. I know," you stood from the bed, crossing to the other side of the room. "I'm so tired of you saying that. Like-- like the only thing that would hurt me is a physical threat. You don't want me to get hurt, but every time you ghost me, every time I go a week without seeing you or when I do it's you next to me when I wake up covered in cuts and bruises? What about that? You think that doesn't hurt?" Tears stung your eyes now, ones you were trying desperately to keep in as you went further. "All I feel lately from you is hurt. So good job with that, Spider-Man."

"I don't want you to get involved with that part of me. You can't-- you can't take care of yourself." As soon as the words left his mouth, you both know that's not what he meant. But it didn't lessen the sting.

"Wow," you scoffed. "I'm pretty sure I survived 20 years without you before, Parker, I'm not a fucking child!"

"I never said you were!" He voice had risen above its normal level now, making you flinch. He pulled and tugged at the mask in his hands, clearly frustrated and angry now. "Every time I go out there in this stupid suit, I worry that someone is going to see me, someone will find you and decide that you can give them information on me. That you're just leverage to get what they want. Or I won't be there when you need me. I worry that I can't save you, can't you see that?"

"You don't think I worry about you every time you go out there? And it only gets worse when you come home in pieces that I try to put back together?”

"It's not the same!"

"Yes it fucking is! It's fucking worse! I don't have superpowers, I can't save you, I can't make sure you're safe. Do you know how helpless that feels?"

"You don't understand."

"Then make me!" You broke, tears coming fast and hard down your face. "Just let me in. I don't know what I'm supposed to do to make you trust me enough to do that. What am I supposed to do?"

"I can't-- you can't understand."

"Am I not good enough? Smart enough? What's the issue here, Peter?" You laughed humorlessly.

"Maybe you are!" He burst out. You reeled back, not knowing what to say. The tears came even faster than before as you backed away, out of the bedroom, ignoring Peter's apologies and panicked rambling that quickly turned to tears as he followed you to the door. You slammed it shut behind you before he could follow, your feet carrying you outside into a thoughtless path before you even realized it.

An hour or so later, you were still out in the crisp air of New York, settled on a bench blocks away from your apartment in a quiet park. You knew it was probably unsafe, but you didn't care at the moment. The tears had finally subsided, and you were left stewing in guilt and frustration. All you wanted was for Peter to let you in. You knew he was apprehensive, it had taken him over half a year to even tell you he was Spider-Man, but he never really told you much beyond that.

Your phone went off for the thousandth time since you'd stepped foot out of the apartment. It was Peter trying to call you yet again. You had read his texts, without replying, so that he would see the read receipts and at least know you were still alive.

i'm sorry, i didn't mean that at all. i was just frustrated. you're right, i didn't know what to say.

you are the love of my life, please come back and talk to me

i'm really sorry. i don't like fighting with you

i hope you're okay. i love you so much.

You wanted to talk to him, and resolve this, but you didn’t know what to say to him. Not over text, and not when you were sulking in your feelings out in the cold.

You hugged your arms closer to your chest, in an attempt to get warm, when the sky opened up and began to downpour on you. All you could do was sit there as the rain soaked you to your bone, not even a thin jacket to attempt to shelter you from the weather. You just closed your eyes and sighed in defeat when you thought of the walk of shame you'd have to embark on in the rain. So you sat for a little longer.

“I don’t think this is great weather for a walk in the park.” Peter’s voice nearly made you jump out of your skin. When you turned, you were surprised to see him in normal clothes, an umbrella sheltering him from the rain. Thunder sounded overhead, vibrating your already shivering body. You just shrugged, wiping at your face as if he could tell the rain from your angry tears. He came to sit next to you, settling the umbrella between the two of you. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. You are anything but a problem in my life, I need you to know that.” His eyes screamed and begged apologies left unsaid, frantically searching yours to try and gauge if you would understand. “I know I need to balance everything more. I need to make time for you and the plans we make. Emergencies do happen, but I should be trying harder.” You murmured a thank you with a small smile, one that made Peter warm to the tips of his toes. He hated not seeing you happy, especially when it was his fault. He reached out to take your hand. “You’re freezing, come here.” You let him pull you into his side, under his jacket that was much drier than the rest of you. He pressed a long kiss to your forehead, then one to the top your head, despite your hair still dripping wet from the rain. “I really am trying to keep you safe. I’m just… scared. I can’t lose you.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Pete. I promise,” you rested your head against his shoulder. “I know that in the worst case, I can’t control that, but genuinely, I mean it. I try to be as safe as possible. But, you know, we live in New York. Even if you weren’t Spider-Man, danger is still out there. It’s just a part of life. And I don’t like thinking about that either, but it’s the truth.” You kissed his jaw and looked up at him. Tears welling in his eyes, you squeezed him tighter to you to let him know you were there. “You can’t keep everything from that part of you locked up inside forever, baby. It won’t end well.”

“I know,” he whispered, almost inaudible over the rain pattering against the pavement and umbrella over your heads. He sucked in a breath and looked down at you. His hand came up to touch your cheek, brushing some drops of rain away from your face. “I’ll be more open, I promise, it’s just...“ He choked on the words a bit before he was able to continue. “It’s hard. The last time I let someone in on that part of Spider-Man…”

“I know.” You murmured. He’d mentioned Gwen a few times, but nothing very in depth aside from a brief explanation of what had happened to her. You knew it was a tough spot for him to talk about, and you didn’t want to push him on that front. “Just… let me in, okay? Even just a little bit. I’m here for you, no matter what. You know I love you, Peter Parker."

“I love you more than anything,” he sighed, almost in relief over everything. Peter leaned his forehead against yours and closed his eyes. “I’m sorry.” Your eyes softened as he said it again. The only response you could think of was leaning in for a kiss, pouring all of your feelings into it. Even the uncertainty. But most of all, the love, and the reassurance that everything would be okay.

#peter parker x reader #tasm peter parker x reader #andrew garfield peter parker x reader #andrew garfield!peter parker x reader #tasm!peter parker x reader #my fics #requests

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