#and books only hold my interest as long as the plot and characters intrigue me

[stuffnonsenseandotherthings]

January Drama Wrap Up

January was a month of ups and downs (and some very big let downs) but over all I enjoyed what I watched. I tried out a new country's dramas and discovered some classics at the same time and I've built myself a pretty solid Currently Watching List to take me into February.

📊 The Stats

Total Dramas: 12

Currently Watching: 3

Completed: 4

Dropped: 2

On Hold: 3

My To Watch List: 60

🎭 The Dramas

🤼💰 Like Flowers in the Sand - Currently Watching

Like Flowers in the Sand is going to be another one of those k-dramas I am never going to be able to explain to my non k-drama watching friends without sounding like I've lost the plot a little.

"It's a small town drama about a minor league ssireum team and a wrestler who's been in a years long slump. There's also an investigation into a murder linked to match-fixing but that's kind of a side plot and it's linked to the wrestler's childhood friend who's reappeared incognito after disappearing mysteriously many years ago ... I promise it's good!"

It's probably not the drama for everyone but as someone who has historically loved sports centered k-dramas and who loved When Camilla Blooms this drama ticks so many of my boxes. I'm very excited to watch the complex relationships and politics of small town life be put under a microscope and dissected and I can already tell I'm going to love how morally grey all the characters are.

It also doesn't hurt that the ML is the biggest himbo to ever ever himbo and I love him and his empty brain to bits.

Prediction: I become a ssireum fan.

🕹️💌 Love For Love's Sake - Currently Watching

I've been staying away from K-BL these past few months because I've been struggling with their short run time but Love for Love' Sake lured me back in like a moth to the flame and I have no regrets.

Is Love For Love's Sake Perfect? No, there are definitely some pacing issues that are leaving me feeling very temporally confused about how quickly or slowly events are unfolding and the lower than average k-drama budget does show at certain points but, do you what?

I don't care.

I wholeheartedly love this drama and it's going to have to mess up its last 2 episodes Last Twilight style to change that.

The relationship between the main couple? Adorable. The openly gay leader of the school delinquents? We stan. The oddball friendship group forming because they're all slightly crushing on the ML? Sign me up! The addition of a glitch in the game that's starting to mess everything up? Horrifying and I love it.

Prediction: A new favourite K-BL is born and it's all thanks to this mf

🩺😭 Doctor Slump - Currently Watching

I'm watching this because it's on my Plan To Watch list and Netflix started playing the trailer after I'd finished watching an episode of The Way of the Househusband.

I won't lie, this is definitely the drama, out of all the dramas I'm currently watching, that I'm least certain I'll finish but, at the same time, I was pleasantly surprised by the first two episodes. Yes, it does do that typical comedy k-drama thing of mixing ridiculous over the top laughs with some incredibly difficult topics (because who doesn't want to be laughing hysterically one minute and then doing some deep self-reflection the next?) but so far the balance and the boundaries between the two moods has been relatively well struck and only time will tell if it manages to stay that way.

I appreciate tackling the topic of burn out and depression in a country that still champions overwork and mental fortitude above all else and I'm interested to see where it goes with that part of its arc. The "being framed for murder" I am a little less certain about, but it has definitely added a layer of intrigue to a story that would otherwise be relatively mundane and by the books.

As I said, time will tell if I continue to enjoy Doctor Slump but I'd say my only quibble with the drama so far is that I'm not sure "accused of (and potentially framed for) murder" and "suffering from depression due to burn out and work place abuse" quite fit what is normally meant by the word slump.

Prediction: Maybe I won't drop this half way through like I thought I would.

👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨🎥 BL Drama no Shuen ni Narimashita - Completed

My first Japanese BL ever and it was a good one. Yes, it was 3 episodes long, but it used its runtime perfectly. All of the main characters felt properly fleshed out (and the side characters were caricature enough that you only really needed one scene to know who they were and what they stood for), the pacing was great (it couldn't afford to drag but it didn't speed through scenes either), and it found the right balance between BL shenanigans and forrays into deeper messages. This was exactly what I needed at the time and, for someone who doesn't normally like mini-dramas that much, I enjoyed myself immensely.

Verdict: 8/10, I also want a life-size cardboard cutout of Aoyanagi to cuddle and hide behind when I open the door.

✒️💕 Cherry Magic, Japan - Completed

I'm planning to buy the manga.

I plan to watch the film next month (I never watch films).

I may have even checked out the fanfic scene in a bout of withdrawal.

Anyway, what I mean to say is that I get the hype, I really really do. This drama is fantastic.

Cherry Magic is one of those classics that you watch as a newbie and go "oh yeah I get why everyone is obsessed with this". The premise is novel and well executed, the characters are oh so easy to love, the main romance is so incredibly shippable, and the friendships are just as endearing.

I personally love the role Adachi's mind reading plays in shaping his relationship with Kurosawa and how the way it's handled means the audience feels what Adachi is feeling right alongside him. How can you not be charmed by the inner monologue of someone so sweetly and respectfully head over heels for you? But at the same time just because you're charmed, does that mean you like them back or is it just because you can see them at their most vulnerable? And what about once you're in the relationship? Do you give up the thing you know made it possible? Or do you pull back so you can't mess up once the crutch you rely on is gone?

There was so much quiet nuance to Adachi's and Kurosawa's relationship to each other and those around them and, when I one day sit down for a rewatch, I'm looking forward to unpicking them all.

Verdict: 8.5/10, Adachi and Kurosawa are going to be one of those couples that's impossible to leave behind. This is going to stick with me for a while, and once it's unstuck I'll just watch it again.

📸🌦️ Welcome to Samdal-Ri - Completed

I know some people thought the premise of Welcome to Sandal-Ri was unrealistic but, personally, I found it hard not to draw parallels between what happened to Cho Sam Dal in the drama and what happened to Kim Seon Ho in real life. Yes, the situations may differ somewhat (Sam Dal faces false accusations of work-place bullying by an employee while Seon Ho was accused of coercing his girlfriend into getting an abortion) but there were enough similarities (the media frenzy and the sheer intensity of the backlash, the scandals happening just as their careers peaked, the gradual revelation of what actually transpired) that I would be very surprised if there was no link at all.

For that alone, Welcome To Samdal-Ri had my attention from the get go. If this story were from a Western perspective, I would certainly have been much more wary of a story tackling false accusations (looking at you Euphoria) but from a Korean perspective, where celebrity culture is far more intense and volatile and in which false accusations have happened before and cancel culture can indeed end a career for even minor infractions (like dating), I wanted to see how it would be handled.

Ultimately I was satisfied, not wowed, not disappointed, satisfied. The show didn't dig that deep into the subject (personally I would have appreciated Sam Dal's case juxtaposed against another case in which the accusations turned out to be true) but it handled it deftly enough and felt "case-by-case" enough that I didn't feel as though it inadvertently gave off the message of "not believe anyone bringing accusations against celebrities".

Other than my own personal interest in the premise, Welcome to Sandal-Ri did a good job of holding my interest. In terms of overall vibe, it felt like a mix between (perhaps unsurprisingly) Hometown Cha Cha Cha (the idyllic small-town community filled with friends and loveable elders) and Our Beloved Summer (childhood lovers unfairly broken up but still pining for each other after years apart). The pacing was good, the characters loveable (I am now in love with Cho Hae In), and each episode felt like sinking into a warm bath for an hour.

Verdict: 8/10, it tackled an interesting topic while providing its audience with plenty of comfort and heart. It could have done without the love triangle though, just saying.

📃👩‍❤️‍👩 Out of Breath - Completed

I don't have too much to say about Out of Breath given it was 3 episodes long and less than an hour run time in total but I'm glad I watched it. Firstly, because it was nice to watch a (rare) Korean GL and secondly, because it managed to fit a lot into its short run time. Two break ups, a love triangle/unrequited love, cute dates, commentary on living queer in Korea, commentary on being out in Korea.... This show really had it all.

It was short, it was sweet, and it had a lot to say. I can't say I'd watch it again in a hurry, but I would definitely recommend it to anyone looking for a realistic portrayal of queer (and specifically) lesbian life in Korea.

Verdict: 7.5/10, it unpacked a lot in a short amount of time, the couple was extra cute too.

🫂💕 Cherry Magic Thailand - On Hold

I realised very early on into watching Cherry Magic Thailand that I'd probably get a lot more out of it if I watched the original first. I'm not normally someone who says watching the OG is necessary to watch the adaptation (in fact I normally rebel against that idea with a whole lot of passion) but in this case it became very clear that without watching Cherry Magic Japan first, I was missing important reference points and comparisons that were pretty key to understanding and appreciating that plot fully.

Anyway, I've now watched and loved Cherry Magic Japan so Cherry Magic Thailand is back on the menu, I just want to give myself enough time away that when I go back to it, it's with completely new eyes (and I'm excited for when that moment comes).

Verdict: On Hold until I can give it a proper fresh start.

🩺🍲 Cooking Crush - On Hold

I watched this at completely the wrong time. I struggle with rom-com dramas at the best of times but by now I should know that I absolutely should not try to watch one when I am going through a period of high stress.

I am not kind to rom-coms when I am stressed, even the ones I might otherwise enjoyed.

As it is, I initially dropped Cooking Crush because I was struggling to stay focussed enough to finish an episode and the characters were grating on me. Looking back, part of me thinks that my lack of focus and general irritability may have had less to do with the drama itself and much more to do with the fact I could barely focus on anything during that time period and that I had barely any spoons left to give people in my actual life, let alone fictional ones.

So...

Anyway, Cooking Crush has continued to come across my dash in gif, meme, and analysis form and I've realised that I actually really like what I'm seeing, enough so that I've moved it out of the "dropped" pile and into my "on hold" list so as to give it a second shot in the not so distant future (something that doesn't normally happen).

I genuinely think I might like this drama, I just need to make sure I'm in the right mindset for it first to give it a fair shot 💪

Verdict: On Hold until my next holiday.

🐍🦅 The Sign - On Hold

On paper The Sign sounds like it's right up my street, after all what's not to love about star-crossed lovers doomed by the threads of fate and history to lose each other?

But that's the thing, "on paper". In real life The Sign is well, messy and a bit too cop-heavy for my liking. Sure there are some great moments, Billy and Babe's chemistry is on fire, and it may have one of the best and most artistic sex scenes ever to grace the BL screens of the world but sexy times does not a good show make and I've found myself torn about whether or not I should keep going or just give up at this point.

To help me decide I've taken the "on paper" part of The Sign very literally and bought the book to read. If I like the book (the translation is a bit choppy but I can overlook that if the story is good) then I'll finish the show, if I don't then into the land of the dropped it goes.

Verdict: On Hold until I've actually experienced it on paper.

🌄🖕 Last Twilight - Dropped (episode 10)

I won't lie, this is the second time (the first time being Only Friends) that I've ended up being grateful my busy schedule got in the way of my drama watching because wow this show really took a tumble at the last hurdle. There was so much Last Twilight could have done, so many societal boundaries it could have crossed and reshaped and re-imagined but instead it went with... well a literal "fix it fic" ending that fixed nothing but instead broke all it had built up beyond repair.

I'm not going to go into detail about how Last Twilight let nearly every single one of its principal characters down, about how Mhok was never allowed screen time to process his own emotional trauma, about how the show briefly touched upon and then completely glossed over the very different social and financial circumstances of the both couples and the effects this would have on their experience of the world, of how there was so much ableist messaging around both the treatment of Dad's character which was always lurking under the surface but which only really came to light alongside the ending..... All I'm going to say is that, up until episode 9, Last Twilight had a choice about what messages it wanted it's audiences to come away with at the end, and it picked the wrong fucking ones.

It could have been a challenge to the ableist and classist mainstream norm so often portrayed in the media, instead it perpetuated harmful and hurtful rhetoric and stereotypes against the very people it claimed to champion.

Maybe one day I'll watch it again, but only because I want to properly break down what went so wrong.

Recommended reads by people who expressed it better than me:

This Discussion under "Last Twilight, episode 12: final reflections" by @waitmyturtles

"Last Twilight: Ep 12" by @wen-kexing-apologist

"Last Twilight Episode 12" by @lurkingshan

This post by @simplemindedmockingjay

Verdict: Dropped for betraying it's audience and those it claimed to champion.

👨‍⚕️⏳ Triage - Dropped (episode 10)

This one hurts me.

This one well and truly hurts me.

Because, the thing is, I loved so much about this show. It does so much right and up until episode 10 I was preparing to rank it among my favourite BLs of all time; the plot was fast moving and carried you from episode to episode in a whirlwind of anticipation, the romance (although minor compared to most other BLs) was highly shippable, the characters had depth and flaws and strengths that made you root for them, and the time loop plot device was doing things that were genuinely new and innovative.

I was hooked.

And then everything I loved just disappeared.

I don't know what possessed the creators of this show to completely change the universe of the drama for the last 2 episodes, maybe they thought the old one was getting stale (it wasn't).

All I can say is I absolutely hated the new turn of events.

Familiar characters with entirely new personalities and character arcs who I was apparently expected to root for (I don't know who they are anymore), time travel rules thrown out of the window because the plot demanded it be so (I'm sorry but the notebook time travels now? And a kiss will bring back memories?), the entire premise of the show just dropped and never even properly answered (why did Tin need to save Tol????? What about his heart murmur????)....

No.

Just no.

I'm out.

Verdict: Dropped for becoming a completely different drama in the last 2 episodes

⭐ The Awards

I fell in love with a lot of people and things this month so let's talk about them

☺️ Smile That Could Launch A Thousand Ships

Yuuichi Kurosawa (and his actor Keita Machida) is, quite frankly, a ridiculously gorgeous man in the most normal of circumstances but his smile takes it to a whole new level.

Truly a sight that could light up a room (and the whole building the room was in), this smile is filled with such genuine happiness and love that it's hard not to smile right back just as brightly, whether you be a hapless audience member beaming at your computer screen or a flustered Adachi trying desperately to hold on to your heart.

What I also love about this smile is that it only comes out when Kurosawa is properly, over the moon happy. He's got other smiles for other occasions and they're all very pretty but this one? This one sits above them all and makes them pale in comparison.

🩷 Biggest Crush

I have a type and that type is Cho Mina (and quite possibly Kang Mi Na, I clearly need to work through her filmography for... science). But seriously, this woman is STUNNING and is made all the more so by her dedication to her daughter and her refusal to let society pressure her into being ashamed of being a young single mum. She's strong, she's kind, she's independent, she's beautiful both inside and out. I don't care if she got the least screen time out of all the sisters, she stole the whole show for me and I am smitten.

📃 Line That Hit Me Like A Freight Train

"I'm used to pretending to be normal"

"pretending to be normal"

I'm going to be forever grateful to Cherry Magic for giving me positive and thoughtful Ace rep in Fujisaki, for showing her happy and confident and unbothered by society's expectations that she should one day couple up and settle down, for giving voice to the Ace experience of "pretending to be normal" in simple line that holds so much meaning and so many layers.

I know it's not canon, but in my head Fujisaki does tell Adachi out loud one day, and she gets her response of "is that so".

🛌 Plot Device That Made Me Sit Up and Go "Yes"

I may have ended up dropping Triage but credit where credit is due, it did do a lot of things right and one of those things was its ideas around time loops/ time travel. The idea that where you fall asleep at the end of the time loop directly affects how far back you travel back in time for the start of the loop?

Genius.

Why haven't I seen this done before??? It's such a clever way to provide the loop-character with the agency they need to actually make changes without breaking the established rules of the time loop and it allows for each iteration of the loop to be significantly different depending on how early or how late the changes to the timeline are made.

It literally solves almost all of my usual issues with time loop narratives.

It was genuinely intriguing watching Tin try to work out where he needed to fall asleep in order to go back as far as he needed and it was such a shame that, as the show neared its end, that aspect of the time loop experience just sort of fell away.

I want more time loop ideas like this and I want them now.

🌄 Scene That Took My Breath Away

Last Twilight may have ended by taking this scene and its significance and flushing it down the toilet but you know what, the author is dead and I killed him. I'm taking this scene back.

Day wanting his last experience with his quickly disappearing sight to be a homage to the book that helped him come to terms with his disability and see the world anew, his description of the sunset he could see in his mind's eye that is far more brilliant and beautiful than reality could ever dream to be, his clear moment of realisation that yes, he could live without his sight and not only could he live without it, he could well and truly thrive, the last thing he sees being Mhok's face as the ultimate declaration of love....

The last twilight in episode 9 could have been a truly special moment and, taken in isolation, it still is. It's just such a shame that such a beautiful depiction of growth and healing and self-love and self-acceptance was ultimately papered over with an ending that didn't fit it at all, one that erased the positive and affirming messages this scene held.

#January wrap up #like flowers in sand #love for loves sake #doctor slump #cherry magic #i became the main role of a bl drama #out of breath #welcome to samdalri #cooking crush #the sign #cherry magic th #triage #last twilight #thai bl #kdrama #j bl

[nekoannie-chan]

Languages

Pairing: Steve Rogers X Bilingual!Reader.

Word count: 286 words.

Summary: Steve can’t read a book a foreign language.

Warnings: Fluff.

A/N: This is my entry to @natashxromanovf’s 1K Followers Writing Challenge with the prompt:

" Hold on… you’re bilingual?"

"Yes?."

You can read it on Wattpad and Ao3 too.

@saiyanprincessswanie

My native language is Spanish so I wanna improve my writing skills in English if you notice any mistakes, please let me know and I will correct them.

I don’t give any kind of permission for my fics to be posted on other platforms or languages (I translate myself my work) or the use of my graphics (my dividers are included in this), I did them exclusively for my fics, please respect my work and don't steal it. There are some people here who make dividers that anyone can use, mine is not this type, please look for the other people. The only exception is the ones I gifted 'cuz now belong to someone else. If you find any of my works on a different platform and are not one of my accounts, please let me know. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Marvel's characters (unfortunately), except for the original characters and the story.

Add yourself to my taglist here.

My other media where I publish:  Ao3, Wattpad, ffnet, TikTok, Instagram, Twitter. 

If you like it, please vote, comment, and give me feedback to improve my skills and reblog.

Tags: @sinceimetyou @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad @navybrat817 @angrythingstarlight @shield-agent78 @charmed-asylum @pandaxnienke @real-fbi @smokeandnailz @white-wolf1940 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @xoxonotme @bluemusickid @leyannrae @harrysthiccthighsss @marvelatthisonee @caplanbuckybarness @sapphire-rogerss @lizzieolseniskinda @notyourtypicalrose @hallecarey1 @nana1000night @talia-rumlow @writingshae @alexxavicry @azulatodoryuga @daemonslittlebitch @chaoticcollectivenightmare @endlesstwanted @chemtrails-club  @marigoldreamer @whiskeytangofoxtrot5555 @here4thefanfics @theestorm @patzammit @kmc1989 @somegirlfromasgard

Steve was exploring an old library when, among the dusty shelves, he found a peculiar book. It had worn covers and yellowed pages, but what really caught Steve's attention was that the title and all the contents were in a language he couldn't understand.

Intrigued, Steve took the book in his hands and began to flip through its pages with a confused expression. The words were incomprehensible to him. It was then that you entered the library. Your eyes lit up when you saw Steve holding the book in his hands. You had been looking for such a book for a long time.

"Oh, that's a rare copy!" you exclaimed, approaching with a friendly smile. "Did you find it interesting?" you asked curiously.

Steve nodded, but his expression revealed his confusion.

"Yes, but I don't understand a word of it. And I wouldn't want to get in trouble; I've got enough of it."

You laughed softly and took the book from Steve's hands. "Of course, I can read it! This is one of my favorite languages."

Steve looked at you with surprise. “Hold on… you’re bilingual?” 

You nodded as you flipped through the book. "Yes? Yes, I speak several languages; do you want me to read it to you in English, or do you prefer a specific language?"

Steve smiled in relief.

"English is fine, please."

You began to read aloud, translating each word fluently. As you progressed through the story, Steve became immersed in the plot and began to enjoy the content of the book.

After a while, Steve couldn't contain his amazement. "You're amazing! How many languages do you speak?"

"Well, some more than others, but I love learning new languages." You replied modestly.

#tajas1kfollowerswritingchallenge #tajas 1k followers writing challenge #steve rogers x reader

[barbwritesstuff]

hey! everyone's been really talkative about this IF so I wanted to jump on the train :) do you think you could tell me about the RO routes and like, the vibe of them? i want to start planning out my characters now becuz the release date is next month! (congratulations btw)

also, ik this is a romance book, so I wanted to ask if there's a bunch of romance scenes/small romance stuff included? (ie; them holding hands, sneaky looks, etc) cuz some books advertise as a romance but like only include like 5 scenes, you feel me? the plot seems super cool and im intrigued! but romance also plays a huge part in my satisfaction so just, wanna know!

sorry if this comes off as rude 😭😭

Not rude at all! Though, honestly, I'm not 100% sure how to answer this.

Blood Moon is defiantly more romantic than a lot of games, but it's not as romantic as others. There are romantic scenes and moments, dates, and explicit content, but a large chunk of the game is also... not that.

Like the tagline says: date werewolves, fight vampires.

So, for every werewolf kiss, expect to have to punch a vampire or two.

If anyone who has played Blood Moon would like to comment on the romantic aspect of the game please do. As the author, I feel like I'm not the best person to describe it, because when I write the game I see every possible outcome, so it might seem different for me than someone playing it through.

As for vibes... There are eight romanceable characters and the feel of each romance is different.

CliffsNotes version:

Marco is a lanky blond guy who likes to joke around. He's got some insecurities, because he had a shitty upbringing, but he's also fiercely loving and loyal. He tends to 'match' with the player's character a lot, eg, when running side by side, they always run in lockstep. His romantic route has a lot of BFF to lovers vibes.

Vicky is a tall, muscular woman with a dark past. She's terrifying on the battlefield, but very soft and gentle with those she loves. Her romantic route is about finding peace and softness in a world at war. Great if you want to play a more world wary protagonist, through she can mesh with other sorts of characters too.

Ed is young, ambitious, cheeky, and idealistic. He's probably the most 'human' of the werewolves and strongly believes the world can and should be a better place, though he sometimes uses underhanded methods to make that happen. His route is pitched a little younger, and can include some 'first love' vibes.

Shawnie is a curvy red head with a sassy personality. She's very sexual but actually probably one of the hardest to win the heart of. You have to really get to know her, and prove that you're interested in her for her, before she really shows you her heart.

Roe is a non binary person, very beautiful, with long hair and a lean build. They can come across as aloof or cold, until you get to know them, then they'll show a fierce and passionate side. Romance route is VERY star-crossed lovers. They're torn between desire and duty.

Farro is the resident DILF. He's VERY tall and muscular. Think Pakistani lumberjack. He's also, in contrast to appearances, quite shy and reclusive. He has an eight year old daughter that is the opposite to him in almost every way. Be nice to the kid to win his heart.

Sergi is a stocky man, dark hair, dark eyes, and is older than the player's character by a decade or two (he will call you 'pup'). He has a playful personality, but undergoes some serious trauma throughout the story, so loses that for a large chunk of the game's runtime. The romance is a little forbidden love, but leans more toward shared trauma bringing people together.

Carrie is small, skinny, and covered in sharp edges. She can be rude and abrasive, especially before she gets to know the player's character, but beneath that has a heart of gold, for those willing to take their time to get to know her. Enemies to lovers, but perhaps not in the traditional sense.

I hope that helped.

[ambiguouscheese]

Hello! 👋 May i have a matchup for genshin impact, please? Thank you so much ❤️

Description of personality : my mbti is INFP. I love chatting/talking with people! Even if i just met them, if they propose an interesting topic, it's pretty easy to hook me in a conversation. But i lose my energy easily :(

With the right people, i am bubbly, loud, and affectionate. I show my affections through physical contact, like hugging, holding hands, or kissing other people's cheeks/temple/forehead. I'm not shy to show how much i love people around me. I'll even say cheesy things (but i'm being completely honest)

I'm loyal. Like very very loyal, but my loyalty is hard to earned. If you make me love you and gain my loyalty, then expect me to be by your side through everything. Even if you hurt me, i wouldn't leave you and will always forgive you

My flaws? I get jealous easily. My jealousy is a nasty thing. I also tend to be emotionally distant sometimes-- though i'd never leave and my feelings will always be the same

Likes : mystery/horror novels, sweets, dolls, good chilly day, stars, slimes, theatre

Dislikes : rude people, loud sounds/noises, people fighting, angry people

Hobbies : reading novels or anything really, watching slimes and cat videos, making clothes for my dolls, singing

Gender preference : males

Characters i do not want : none (except the minors)

Do i want a minor or not : no, i don't want a minor

I hope this is not too long! Thank you so much. I hope you have a great day. Stay healthy and warm! ❤️✨

you have been matched with . . . kaeya alberich !!

✧ kaeya found your bubbly personality intriguing right off from when he walked into the bar and saw you chatting away with your friends happily. he found your outgoing shows of affection to be charming and from that day onwards, he decided to make it a mission of his to be one of your friends. he decided to approach you by starting conversation about a recently popular mystery novel, a topic he overheard you be passionate about in a conversation with someone else. you gladly joined the conversation, offering insightful feedback; one conversation went from one to another topic, and then to another, and somehow a few hours had passed and the only way he had realized was from noticing your social energy was drained. he took the hint and bid farewell for the night, but not before a promise of meeting again!

✧ you and kaeya often talked about recent books, analyzing a book together and rating how well done the plot twists were. as well as that, you two often enjoyed the theatre together, and eventually your outings together turned into dates which turned into courtship between the two of you! kaeya began to find himself smitten with your bold and genuine shows of affection, the very same ones he was captivated by when he first saw you, except now, they were directed to him. he gladly returns your physical affections, having no problem with public displays of affection with you while taking walks on the street or having meals at a nearby cafe.

✧ he tries his best to be involved with your hobbies, including watching cat and slime videos with you and attempting (key word on attempting because as fashionable as he is, he is terrible at making clothes) to make clothes for your dolls. at the end of the day, he'll give up on the clothes and leave it to you, perfectly content with just watching you. he realized your jealousy for the first time when he talked a little bit too sweetly to a newcomer; while he secretly was a little flattered that you loved him that much to the point of jealousy, he completely understands and did his best to not repeat that again for your sake. despite your emotional distance, he's often quite outgoing, with arranging new and creative dates for the two of you to go on together!

✧ kaeya both deeply loves and hates your loyalty. caution on the hate though, as he only hates it because he feels that he does not deserve your deep loyalty. he doesn't find it fair for you that even if he hurts you you'll still always forgive him- at the same time though, he loves it so much and wouldn't trade the world for it. he often feels selfish that he keeps your loyalty to himself, but he always tries to make up for what he thinks is unfair by bringing you gifts, showering with you affection, and always being there for you. he always notices what sets you off, such as when someone drunk at the bar begins talking a little too loud and with a not so pleasant tone, and when that happens, he brings you out right away to find something else to put your mind on.

#genshin matchups #matchups #x reader #kaeya x reader

[spaceorphanssecondbreakfastclub]

SO's Bookclub : Murdered My Sweet

Title: Murdered, My Sweet Author: Joan Lowery Nixon Genre: YA Mystery

Goodreads Summary :

Journeying to San Antonio with her mother to hear the reading of her millionaire cousin's will, Jenny Jakes becomes involved in a scary mystery when her cousin's son is murdered.

Review:

So... this is the last book I had in my original collection. I guessing going from Middle School to High School (along with moving - and these books becoming increasingly less popular -- not that they ever were?) stopped me from getting the remaining titles. I did grab some used copies of her last books, because I was curious -- For anyone groaning that there may be more -- don't worry, I have four more titles than this experiment will be done...

I can't believe it's taken me this long to realize it - but Nixon has two types of plots -- the first being her more ubiquitous thriller plots, where the protagonists are often whinier but there's a lot of tension and suspense; and the second being her more traditional mystery plots - where the writing is tighter, and the characters are more likable, but usually are lacking the tension and suspense. This is, really, one of the later.

Standard tropes are there -- Texas setting, zany parent, love interest cohort, and someone convoluted plot. But the whole thing is lacking any kind of solid intrigue. And the mystery itself is just kind of... weird. You can tell she wants to go for an Agatha Christie type twisty plot but I don't know if it works all that well.

So, the story is that Jenny and her mystery writer mom (who is just seems to have not much going on in her head) are helping a detective (and detective jr - the love interest) help solve the mystery of a distant relative - a chocolate company heir. It's got some strange Willy Wonka vibes going here.

I think the thing holding this one back is that it's a decent premise but doesn't really go anywhere? The son of the alive company owner is murder, so okay, interesting premise, but there aren't really that many suspects, and not a whole lot of detective work either -- as everything seems to come to Jenny instead of her looking into it.

The love interest, Carlos, is fine but he's a blatant rip off of the guy in Christian Lattamore (only with a better ending). It's funny that these love feel obligatory most of the time -- as if some editor is telling her she has to have a romance in there, because Nixon is often caring more about the mystery than any kind of character building.

One of the funnier elements of this one, though, is that we're finally squarely in the mid/late-90s. There's a lot of talk about computers, and all the things computers can do. Computer hacking is an element of the novel, though it's clear that Nixon doesn't quite know what she's talking about.

Overall, while being relatively a tight read, the book feels a little labored. I wonder if at this point, Nixon who was 70 at the time - and nearing the end of her life - was kind of going through the motion with these. Or maybe it is a ghost writer - I haven't ruled that theory out. Anyway, it's fine, but dull in the way her mystery novels tend to be. At least there's nothing egregiously offensive here.

Rating: 3 Stars

#sbc bookclub #books #book review #joan lowery nixon #murdered my sweet

[vacantgodling]

Writer Tag Game!

thanks so much for tagging me @ceph-the-ghost-writer :’) i’ll tag @magic-is-something-we-create @fearofahumanplanet @kudzucataclysm @mjjune @elijahrichardwrites @henrike-does-writing-sometimes & anyone else who sees this :)

under the cut bc it’s long LOL

Do you write in order?

hell no lmaoooo. i seem to be extremely allergic to writing stories in order. the times i’ve tried i can make good headway but i burn out bc some scenes and things that need to happen i just don’t feel like writing at all. so it’s very much like well damn it be this way. i’m an interest based writer pff

Do you start with something in particular?

i’ve always had a rule for myself whenever i read books or write stories: if i’m not convinced to continue reading within the first 3 pages then i’m not gonna read it. it is Technically something that i could/should get out off—some stories do have slower starts and they’re just as valid—but my attention span has always been mad thin. so i need Something to happen to keep my attention.

i bring this up bc that’s how most of my stories usually start: the inciting incident that leads to the rest of the plot. i really prefer if i just get tossed into the middle of what’s happening context or no, because the intrigue will pull me along to want to read the rest, and it’s the same thing for writing.

i do Want to get better at writing slower starts that are still interesting (wips i have like donut wip for instance NEED to start slow bc the tension and weirdness need to be eased in) however i usually don’t like to beat around the bush lmao.

How fully formed does your writing come out the first try?

mm. it doesn’t? ig i’d say it’s formed about 65%. i usually know what i want to happen from point a to point z (maybe some random letters or story beats as well) however the middle events are things i don’t usually tend to plan out. i like to give my characters wiggle room to push the plot in different ways.

so since the only thing i’ve Really written in any long form is donut wip, if i use that as an example: when i started writing i did have a BASIC outline of what i wanted to happen. when i started writing however so many different ideas and things started adding themselves in that make the story feel more rich, but it definitely wasn’t anything i’d planned. the infamous donut scene that gave this wip it’s loving nickname for instance, i didn’t plan at all lol. so for first drafts ig i like to keep things vague and malleable bc it lets my mind fill in the blanks as i’m writing.

How many drafts do you go through?

literally there can’t be a set number it depends on the story and how much i have figured out & how much it needs to be reworked at any given moment lol.

Tell me about your process?

i’m a character and interest based writer. meaning (to me) that i care more about the characters and what would be cool/interesting more than the actual Plot.

usually how things go is:

i come up with a character or characters that i like. n & beau from dead rites for instance, i’ve had hanging around in my head for a couple of years now. di, toph & the rest of the band in lukewarm rejection i’ve had since an old hs story with my ex. i REALLY tend to hold onto characters especially if i like them because i’m never sure if i will eventually come up with something that i like that i can use them for, even if that means putting them in an entirely different story

phase two is the inciting incident: usually i’ll read something, see something, or think about something that i think would be interesting to explore OR as i come up with character backstories a plot slowly starts to reveal itself. donut wip was actually inspired by an article i read before i connected it to the rest of the liminal space series. dead rites was inspired by a random tumblr post about a funnier way to kill vampires. etc etc.

what if questions galore—bc i’m an interest based writer, a lot of how i flesh things out comes to “oh what if i did this” or “oh what if this happened!!!” bc i think it’d be cool. this is why i don’t tend to write in order a lot of the time bc in order to figure things out i’ll usually just start writing random scenes and letting my brain do what it wants to do bc my goal with writing, really, is to tell the most interesting story for Myself possible.

it’s a bit of a weird process and i have a hard time explaining it but i hope that makes sense?

#about renjamin

[kazhewbrekker]

january book reviews

the stolen heir : holly black ⭐⭐⭐⭐

it took me about a week to read this book and by that i mean i read half, wasn’t impressed, took a week and came back and finished it. like with the cruel prince, the beginning and middle of this book aren’t all that exciting in my opinion, but holly takes the cake as usual for her incredible endings. honestly at this point reading a holly black book is worth it just to see how she wraps it. but yeah, i think it was a good starting point for the duology, im positive the prisoner’s throne will be better, as was the case with tcp > twk. im happy to say towards the end i had really connected with oak and suren/wren, however i feel like despite how fun of a concept it is to put wren and jude in direct opposition its...hm, bad ? to clarify, i wish that i felt conflicted on who’s side i was rooting for. but even if wren was in the right, which...bridle aside she isnt, i would still be in jude’s corner simply because even with all the time spent with wren it’s not enough to...connect with her on the same level as i did with jude. and thats a heavy ask to be fair; jude is one of my favorite character’s in the ya/new adult genre. but i think a understandable worry with this duology is that the folk of the air series might overshadow this new story holly black is trying to tell. i can’t say definitively if it has or has not, but i think she’s done a better job of balancing the new characters and plots with reference to the old. it’ll really be a testament to how well she can keep both separate and important in the next book as she’s hinted that jude and cardan will have a bigger role (which makes sense, since we’re uhh going to war. uh oh).

the invisible life of addie la rue : v.e. schwab ⭐⭐⭐

i read 60% of this book probably over a year ago. maybe two. on a plane. this is a reoccurring problem. but i gotta say, schwab is the queen of concepts. she hasn’t had a single book concept that i wasn’t at least a little intrigued by. unfortunately, uhh, this doesn’t always translate to an interesting plot. the beginning of this book is good, it’s engaging (as far as i remember), bestie lost me when she introduced the most uninteresting man in the world: what’s-his-name. no actually, what was his name--hold on--henry ! his name is henry. he is boring. i understand his purpose in the story, but uhh, the most interesting thing about that man was...the deal he made with the devil i guess ? and that gets revealed so late in the game you have to wade through addie being infatuated with this Regular Guy (not that i blame her when he’s the only one that can remember her), but god, yeah that’s a pretty comprehensive reason for me putting this book down for so long. the ending though, see this is the important part, the ending was very good. i was happily surprised how open-ended it was. though the hopeless romantic that lives deep inside my chest and chews on my bones will continue to believe that the dark could learn to love, okay. i don’t think that should be held against me, either way addie wins. slay queen.

daisy jones & the six : taylor jenkins reid ⭐⭐⭐

very different book from the two other before this, lol. im pretty sure i picked up this book offhandedly the last time i went to b&n, i read the seven husbands of evelyn hugo last year and wasn’t...super impressed ? authors tend to hit me a lot harder with their debuts then second or third releases. for some reason. i really respect reid for her use of journalism styles to tell these fictional stories, how much historical research probably goes into making everything seem realistic. i do think--as a personal opinion--writing about music is a very challenging thing. it’s very difficult to properly convey how music sounds, or feels, without being able to hear the music itself. (i feel the same about dancing, but that’ll probably come up another day). but the story is as much about the music as it is about the complex interweaving relationship of the characters in and outside of the band. shout out to my girl, camilla, the best character in that book. i think the most impressive thing to me about the book, besides the stylistic choices (aka the interview aspect), is how the waves minor characters like camilla or teddy or simone make deeply effect every aspect of the story. very akin to real life, there’s so many people that can change the game for you--especially for character’s like daisy and billy who are so deep in substance abuse and addiction at certain points. overall, really great book, the very last page made me laugh out loud.

beach read : emily henry ⭐⭐⭐⭐

emily henry books feel like a guilty pleasure to me at this point. i started reading her books on my flight to new york last summer, which is coincidentally where i picked up a physical copy of beach read that slept in my suitcase for uhh...six months ? anyways i finally decided to read her after talking about emily henry and her books with a friend of mine. it was a very good decision on my part--this is my favorite of her books. i feel like i need to start with the things i dont like about this book, lol. my biggest pet peeve with contemporary romance is that every single one of these characters is an author, or a publisher, or does something in the literary industry. please stop. i get thats where a lot of these authors have experience, it is their field, but jesus christ can we just have like. an illiterate main character. someone with an undeniable hatred for everything book-related. let’s be quirky and different...please ? all that said, january and gus have some actually great conversations about writer’s block and how it feels to write outside of your comfort zone. i’ll say out of all the books ive read in recent years that have to do with writers (another of which being an emily henry book 🙄), this is the best its been done in my opinion. the relationship development in this book is just very gradual and i love that, the fact that they knew each other before, but not deeply enough to be friends so we still get to see them get to know each other beyond their work is really important to me. sidenote: completely understand what january means when she’s talking about the sad and depressing shit people write about in an undergrad creative writing program. good lord. the heavy topics in this book felt very well handled in the context of...yknow a romance novel, it was kind of nice to have a love interest that wasn’t like...secretly a huge asshole who’s hiding the worst secret in the world. they had me worried for a second there when the exwife showed up, but the swerve at the last second was very appreciated. this book would have a very different review if that had been handled differently. lemme tell you, lol. overall, very enjoyable, probably the most fun ive had in this genre since the hating game. wow.

#the stolen heir #the invisible life of addie la rue #daisy jones & the six #beach read #holly black #v.e. schwab #taylor jenkins reid #emily henry #january book review #book review #daisy jones and the six #the invisible life of addie larue

[wondereads]

Personal Review

Guardians of Dawn: Zhara by S. Jae-Jones

Summary

Zhara gets by as her stepmother's servant and a apothecary's assistant, but it's more than she could hope for as a magician in a land where magic has long since been outlawed. Han is prince and heir, but all he wants to be is normal, and certainly not married off to a northerner he's never met. They meet by chance, but it couldn't come at a better time as magicians start disappearing and transforming into monsters—abominations.

Plot 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

The plot had no glaring issues, but it wasn't anything special either. In fact, it reminded me a lot of Song of Silver, Flame Like Night by Amelie Wen Zhao; (a form of) magic is forbidden, a girl has a special capability for it, she encounters a secret society dedicated to preserving it and its history, which have been nearly eradicated by invading forces, only to find out an ancient evil is waking up and must be battled. There were plenty of things distinguishing them, but it just stuck in my mind while reading this how...unoriginal the plot was.

I will say there were a couple of twists at the end that took me by surprise, but for the most part the plot moved sort of aimlessly and predictably. Even the twists I mentioned sort of had no lasting effect on the plot; betrayals were forgiven and mistakes were mended with seemingly no consequences.

The worldbuilding concerning specifically the magic of this world was probably the most compelling part of this book. Zhara's powers are very intriguing, and I feel like enough is given in this book while still preserving a lot of information for future installments. However, the actual worldbuilding, as in the physical world around them, is pretty underdeveloped. I can't get a grasp on the political situation, and many other lands are mentioned but they are rarely elaborated upon. I wish some of the time Han spent pining after Zhara was replaced with the actual details of his position. Also, there was one thing in particular that absolutely ruined my immersion that I will discuss more in my writing section.

Characters 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

Zhara is a character with a lot of potential, but she isn't really properly developed in this book. She is obviously plagued by insecurities and in a constant state of fear thanks to her upbringing, but it seems that we often lose focus on that thanks to the unending focus on the romance. Han...honestly just holds no interest for me. I initially thought he was sweet, and he is, but he has very little depth. He cares for his little brother and Zhara, and he's ridiculously ignorant/innocent, and that's it.

Which brings me to the romance which, while very cute, was sickeningly so. While there is technically a period of some mutual pining, this feels very like instalove in that there are almost instant romantic feelings and then it feels like all either of them can focus on. I'd probably be more invested in their relationship if it weren't everything anyone ever talked about. If they didn't prioritize it over much more important things. If Zhara and Han didn't forget about major occurrences in their lives in favor of developing their relationship. It was just very frustrating.

As for the side characters, they were one-dimensional. Xu is flirtatious and almost motherly to Han, Jiyi is cold and grumpy, the adults are there to...lore dump? I felt virtually nothing concerning any of them. Except maybe Sajah. That's the cat. I will also note that there is disability rep in this book; Zhara has a stutter and her stepsister, Suzhan, is partially blind, but I'm not sure how I feel about it. I'm not disabled, but it felt wrong that they are belittled for their disabilities all throughout the book—and often thought less of themselves for it—just for Suzhan to have one throwaway line about accepting herself and Zhara to...never mention it again? I don't know, it doesn't sit right with me.

Writing Style 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

Oh, dear, the writing. Now, Jae-Jones gave a very nice explanation of their use of language in this book at the very beginning, one I very much appreciated. It made me a lot more forgiving of the use of terms like "masquerade ball" which feels very western for an East Asia-inspired world. However, it doesn't change that this writing feels like it's meant for a middle grade audience at best. The content is obviously meant for YA, but the actual writing feels very juvenile. For example, Zhara is afflicted with Good-Looking Giggling where she uncontrollably giggles around attractive people. Not to mention the truly insane amount of suggestive jokes throughout the whole book. It was just weird to read.

And then we get to the most egregious offense of the book that completely ruined my immersion. The Bangtan Brothers. Now for those of you who don't know, popular kpop group BTS is also known as Bangtan Sonyeondan (it translates to Bulletproof Boy Scouts). At first I thought this was a throwaway joke to be mentioned once as a little inside joke, but no. BTS—sorry, the Bangtan Brothers, are active members of the Guardians of Dawn who are supposed to help Zhara escape the city. There are multiple, obvious references to the real world BTS, and it got painful to read. As an ARMY, it was without a doubt the worst part of the book.

Overall 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

While this review has been primarily negative, this book is not irredeemable. The plot is unoriginal but not nonsensical or boring, the magic is super interesting, and Zhara has a lot of potential as a character. However, most of the characters are one-dimensional and uncompelling and the writing is...not good. I was pretty disappointed by this read, which sucks because I think it had a lot of potential. Feel free to give this book a try, but I don't recommend it.

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for providing a free eARC in exchange for a fair and honest review.

The Reviewer

My name is Wonderose; I post a reading update every week and reviews every once in a while. I take suggestions! Check out my pinned post for more!

#books #reviews #guardians of dawn zhara #s jae-jones #fantasy #ya #high fantasy #east asia inspired #disability #bts

[unnursvanablog]

The books I read in 2022 / part 2

and what I thought of them....

She Who Became the Sun - Shelley Parker Chan: ☆☆☆

I thought the story itself was cool and the concept itself was intriguing. It was brutal and merciless in it's approach, but the way it was written was a bit confusing for me. The style didn't really appeal to me and made it harder for me to immerse myself in it, and at times I felt there was too much going on and too little time to tell it.

Royal Assassin - Robin Hobb: ☆☆☆

A lot of self-examination going on with our main character in this book, which was both interesting but a bit difficult to get through in parts. There's still some nice political tension in the narrative and lots of interesting things going on, but I didn't feel as immersed in this book as I did in the previous one because it may have been just a bit too dry for my liking.

The Nobleman's Guide to Scandal and Shipwrecks - Mackenzi Lee: ☆☆☆

Just like the previous stories it's a fun little adventure which is just such easy read. However there is just too much time since I read the first two books that my interest for the whole thing has waned a bit. In a lot of ways this story felt just more of the same to me from what I remember from the previous books. It was nice to meet these characters again, but I didn't feel any personal ties to them anymore and I didn't feel like this book added too much to the whole thing.

The Farthest Shore, Tehanu, Tales from Earthsea - Ursula K. Le Guin: ☆☆☆☆, ☆☆☆☆, ☆☆☆☆

Finally, after many years, I have finished the Earthsea series, which has taken several re-reads and such, but it was worth it. It's a really well-written, well-thought-out fantasy that both creates a longing for adventure, discovering the wider world, as well as self-examination of oneself and just a discussion of what it's like to be human in many ways. The really personal stories and the adventurous part of Earthsea mixes well in these last few parts of this series, although the whimsy that that characterized fantasy of the times that Ursula K. Le Guin was writing is very much there and it's a delight to read, while never feeling like it's a fluke or not well thought out. Each story is different depending on the books and the characters, lot's of short stories, and some are more fun than others. But it is interesting to see the changes in the characters that you meet often throughout these six books and their psyche depending on what their position in life is and what the world has dealt them and so on.

Loveless - Alice Oseman: ☆☆☆

I personally think I would have enjoyed this book a lot more if I was still 19 years old, when I realized I was asexual. I've written a story like this myself and there's a certain catharsis in reading and writing stories like this, but I am tired of only reading about young asexual characters who feel so broken and don't know why, because they're not experiencing things like everyone else. It's something that I don't really want to experience again and again through stories. And a lot those teenage issues in YA books is something that I am a bit bored of right now as a reader, and the whole theater plot wasn't that exciting to me. It's a well-written, easy-to-read book, but I'm just not at the point in my life where I really need this book and I don't mind or want to directly experience feeling broken as a young asexual again. Give me more 30-something characters who know they are ace and their experience of the world.

The Essex Serpent - Sarah Perry: ☆☆☆

I thought the story was just fine, there were some really interesting things going on and the characters were complex and all that, but I just never really felt immersed in it. There is nothing about the whole that stood out to me.

Babel: or the Necessity of Violence - R.F.Kuang: ☆☆☆☆

Kuang doesn't hold back in this book (but when has she ever), and I appreciate that. She may sometimes be a little harsh when it comes to executing themes and metaphors and her dry writing-style is not for everyone, but I always think she delivers on her characters and their whole progress through the story extremely well and the main focus of the story and what she is trying to tell always shines through. You understand how each character got to where they are, and I really admire how bold Kuang is willing to be in her writing and her pots. She doesn't hold anything back and the realism and grit of it all really fascinates me and truly makes you think. This book is relentless, as it is meant to be, and I think that what this story needs.

The Year of the Witching - Alexis Henderson: ☆☆☆

To be honest, I wanted a bit more. I expected more mystery, darkness, history and all that. I thought this was a book written more for the atmosphere and the aesthetic of the whole thing than the story itself. But I did enjoyed the atmosphere that the story managed to create, I just found it a bit more empty than I expected. I also felt like all the romance could have been left out there, personally. It just muddled the narrative.

A Psalm for the Wild-Build,  A Prayer for the Crown - Becky Chambers: ☆☆☆☆, ☆☆☆☆.

An introspective delight that never felt too heavy handed or preachy in it's approach. It's all about the journey and not the destination and the people we meet along the way, both in this book and just in live in general. I think these two books manage to nail down that feeling of just trotting through life, without being too miserably or dry about it. There is always a lingering of hope within the narrative that keeps a slow but steady pace of the characters. It's never in too much of a hurry.

Soul Music - Terry Pratchett: ☆☆☆

Not among the best Pratchett books I've read. For me, this story was full of interesting characters, but the story itself just sort of went in circles and it didn't feel like it was saying that much. But still there is some good humor there and lightness as you would expect from a Pratchett book. But not something I think will stick out in the Discworld series once I finish it (when I am about 100 years old).

The Hidden Palace - Helene Wecker: ☆☆☆ This wasn't a sequel that we needed and I don't think it added too much to the already existing story. It's still wonderful to read the writing of Wecker and the atmosphere that she manages to invoke within the narrative and how she incorporates the mythology into a very complex, vibrant multicultural setting that this story has. But I just don't feel like this story needed a follow up so while reading it I often found myself wondering 'but what's the point of this one, why is it trying to say that didn't come across in the first one'? and I never truly found an answer.

Mansfield Park, Northanger Abbey, Persuasion - Jane Austen: ☆☆☆, ☆☆☆, ☆☆☆ Love the movies that Jane Austin's books are based on, but I seem to have a hard time getting into her actual books. Austin is a good, skilled writers; her characters are interesting, the text is very witty and cleaver with usually good social commentary, but the style of her works isn't really for me. I also listened all of these more or less on audiobook and they kind of all blended together for me.

The Amber Spyglass - Philip Pullman: ☆☆☆☆☆ To me this book always delivers, always brings me the same feelings at the end and I just love this story to no end. Truly an all time favorite.

#book reviews #book review

[wildwood-reader]

Reading Update #6

November 6, 2022

Recently Finished

GRAPHIC NOVELS & COMICS

Pumpkinheads by Rainbow Rowell, illustrated by Faith Erin Hicks

Edition: Paperback

Final Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Final Thoughts: After my disappointing ebook reads (see DNF section), I really needed something to cheer me up, something I know is good, and since it was Halloween that day, I figured it's a great time to re-read Pumpkinheads. This story is so cute and beautifully illustrated, and I love the little plot twist in the end, it always takes my forgetful brain by wonderful surprise. Highly, highly recommend it. 💖

FANFICTION

Like a Cat in the Dark by ReyloRobyn2011

Fandom: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy

Kudos: ✅️

Final Thoughts: This was a short fic for Reyloween. The first half was cute, I enjoyed that; the smut was only okay but didn't dampen my overall enjoyment too much. Fun, quick read.

Currently Reading

BOOKS

Magic of Thieves by C. Greenwood

Edition: ebook

Progress: 30%

Current Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️.5

Thoughts: The writing is pretty good and I feel very invested in the main character and her journey so far, growing up in this group of bandits. Recently, there was a little bit that made me cringe slightly, but I hope that won't get worse as the main character gets older. Please be good. 🥲

FANFICTION

Pain is only a Pulse by ReyloRobyn2011

Fandom: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy

Progress: Chapter 4/?

Up-to-date? Yes

Kudos: ✅️

Thoughts: This is another (still ongoing) fic for Reyloween and it's really fun so far, I'm having a good time. I love the use of different forms of story-telling in this such as text chains and Instagram comment threads, it makes the story very vibrant. 👌🏻 I'm looking forward to the next update, especially thanks to that plot twist at the end of chapter 4. 👀

Heaven Has A Road But No One Walks It by Silvestris

Fandom: The Untamed

Progress: Chapter 48/48/?

Up-to-date? Yes

Kudos: ✅️

Thoughts: Ooh, there was so much good stuff in the new chapter, I had such a great time. 😋

Fall of the Crimson Flower by AkatsukiShin (in artistic collaboration with brilcrist)

Fandom: Word of Honor

Progress: Chapter 2.5/7/?

Up-to-date? No

Chapters Behind: 5.5

Kudos: ✅️

Thoughts: Jeeeeeeeeeen!!!!! 🥲 Continue reading ffs or you have to push this to your backlog, c'mon girl, get your life together, this is embarrassing! 🙈🙈🙈

That's all for finished and current reads. 👻 DNFs and my backlog are under the cut.

DNF'd¹

BOOKS

Marked by Kim Richardson

Edition: ebook

Stopped reading at: 44%

DNF'd because: Like I said last week, technically the writing was somewhat okay but BOY, did the copy editor sleep while they were editing this book? Did the author even have a copy editor, or do any copy edits themself? I found myself silently correcting things in my head so damn often. At the beginning, it was only mildly irritating but the more I read, the more frustrating it got. Not long after posting last week's reading update, I also found myself suddenly very disinterested in continuing it. Like, I could already tell that even if I did finish it, I would not read any of its sequels, so really, what would be the point? 😮‍💨 so, my DNF cycle continues².

¹ Currently, I'm going through my ebook library, which is full of books I've owned for 7+ years and never read, trying to see just how many of them I'm even still interested in, since my reading tastes have changed a bit since I got them. My process for this is reading the first chapter (or trying to at least) and then seeing how much it intrigues me. If it does, I'll continue it and (try to) finish it, if it doesn't it gets DNF'd.

² But really, I'm glad to finally go through all of these books; at least once I've given them a shot and found they don't hold my interest anymore I don't have to feel guilty anymore for them being unread.

BACKLOG³

BOOKS

Wayward Son by Rainbow Rowell

Edition: Paperback

Progress: Page 102/341

Current Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Thoughts: This is a buddy read with my bestie, and right now it just doesn't fit the autumn vibe. We'll probably pick it back up some time after Halloween.

FANFICTION

Red Azalea by CeNedraRiva

Fandom: The Untamed

Progress: Chapter 112/135/?

Up-to-date? No

Chapters Behind: 23

Kudos: ✅️

Thoughts: The stars are still not aligned for me to continue it just yet, but I'm really excited for everything that's coming. 👻

Setting Fire To Our Insides by StarsAlignNomore

Fandom: The Untamed

Progress: Chapter 14/22/?

Up-to-date? No

Chapters Behind: 8

Kudos: ✅️

Thoughts: Y'know what, I think I will be ready to continue it soon; it fits my vibe hunger just enough, so we'll see. 😋

Impossible Life (Series) by Comfect

Fandom: The Untamed

Progress: Part 1/3

Finished Reading? No

Parts Behind: 2

Kudos: Part 1 ✅️

Thoughts: Not sure yet when I'll continue this, but I'm looking forward to Part 2.

³Backlog refers to books and fic that I've started reading but have since put on hold due to various reasons

#jengupdates #books #fanfiction #reading #booklr

[dailyadventureprompts]

When you run a political intrigue campaign or adventure having the same bland types of nobles, courtiers, landowners, guild merchants and artisans is one surefire way to make the campaign pretty boring, pretty quickly. What sources do you look to to keep the higher class establishments and courts interesting?

Drafting the Adventure: Politics as (un)usual

It’s no stretch to say that from the outside, most political dramas are inscrutable, and often boil down to a bunch of self-obsessed, privlaged fucks alternating between talking about laws and backstabbing one another. Often dungeonmasters feel flummoxed about these politics, in no small part because d&d defaults to a faux-medieval setting which obligates the DM to include such “Stock Characters” without having any interest in why they’re there beyond their utility to the plot. 

While some DMs solve this problem by making their political players extra wacky or by playing into well known architypes ( Sinister Vizier, lovestruck heir, wise old monarch, scheming spymaster), I’ve worked out a simple worldbuilding trick that adds a LOT of depth to my political characters and teaches me a lot about the world I’m building at the same time. 

Simply put: because politics is ALL about holding on to power,  figure out what happened a generation or so ago when the current Authority ceased/solidified their hold on current power structures and work out from there. What caused the crisis ? What are its ensuing effects? How about the aftereffects that linger to this day? What factions rose up to try and solve this crisis? What did they have to do/sacrifice in order to do it? Why were they in a position to act? What groups did they beat out to take this victor’s position, and what happened to those groups since? 

Below I’m going to lay out the way Game of Thrones set up its politics and dissect it using this method, I’d also encourage readers to go check out the underlying mechanics of running a court intrigue adventure, 

To Summarize, the political situation in game of thrones is largely defined by the fallout of the previous political conflict: Two factions, ( 1: The Baratheons/Starks/Tulleys/Ayrrens 2: The Lanisters) were brought together in rebellion against a politically volatile and unfit dynasty, in a war that shifted how the realm was ruled. These events were formative for the  the older half of the cast just like the events of the current books are formative for the younger, and color their outlooks, desires, and blindspots moving forward. 

Faction 1 HAS power, but was forced to rely on Faction 2 to achieve their righteous goals. Faction 2 has always wanted power, but is forced to act in a repeatedly un-rightious method to do so, toadying up to the mad king, acting dishonorably, all around being sneaky fucks. This uneasy alliance creeps into the setup of the books, with the two factions in uneasy alliance with eachother right up until the point where things go to all out war. 

This is to say nothing of the motivations of the actual CHARACTERS involved, which the author has very smartly ( take note of this, seriously) put in CONTRAST to the desires of their faction:

The man who headed faction 1, led the rebellions, and became king is totally unsuited to the role.  

The woman from faction 2 who desperately wanted to be queen HATES her husband, and can’t help but compromise her position to indulge her own desires. 

When trouble strikes, the protagonists from faction 1 can’t help but sacrifice their long term success for the sake of honor/duty/tradition, which invariably means they don’t live long enough to see their good deeds repaid

In the chaotic void created by civil war, the protagonists from faction 2 repeatedly try to cement power, only to discover that because they did so in a morally reprehensible way, it collapses, only furthering the chaos and undermining them. 

Because these books are cynical towards the ideas of monarchy, true believers in the righteousness of any cause are few and far between, and typically reach ignoble ends. 

Study this structure, and then use the framework I presented above to try and figure out what this “precursor crisis” was and why it broke down the way it did for your own games.  Try out a few different versions, related tangentially back to the metaplot of your world, and relate the choices made by characters to the themes your campaign attempts to express. When it comes down to actual character writing, consider what each major NPC had to sacrifice to achieve their goals, or to maintain a proper outward appearance, or do the right thing.  

If you want to train yourself for this sort of thing/build up a bunch of reference material and inspiration, I’d highly recommend some history podcasts ( History of Rome, Noble Blood, The British History Podcast), which can provide bitesized snippets of political drama that you can use as a skeleton for your own. I’d also recommend reading/watching some non-bodice-ripper period dramas, as those tend to have characters motivations highly grounded in the material realities of their station, and provide much more emotional depth than pulp-fantasy where the character’s actions can be excused away by baseless protagonism in the face of evil. 

I hope that helps, and if you’d like to go looking through my tags for inspiration, I’d recommend “Court Intrigue”, “Noble”, or “Take the Crown”

Art

#homebrew5steeeve #D&D #D&D adventure #Homebrew Adventure #Adventure #DnD #drafting an adventure #prompt postage #writing #dm advice #game of thrones #got #asofai

[burningdarkfire]

Where is that director's cut of into the desert I've been demanding for so long. Where is it. WHERE IS IT. I was promised 5000 words it better not be any less than that, give me all the content 👀

Hello. Welcome to the extended author’s note/behind the scenes look at into the desert of your pitiless faith. I wrote this for two reasons:

1) I like to show off my hard work, and into the desert taught me more in the writing of it than anything else this year because it was so goddamn difficult. Also, I find these sorts of commentaries interesting to read, so I assume others do as well.

2) You, Sol, personally showed up on my doorstep every Sunday for months to forcefully suggest that I write and share something like this. You probably didn’t expect it to be 5000 words long before I told you, but here it is.

I. A MEMORY CALLED EMPIRE

into the desert is a fanfiction using Critical Role characters merged with some key ideas from the book A Memory Called Empire by Arkady Martine - the most prominent being the beacon-machine that is a reskin of Martine’s imago machines. If you’re unfamiliar, here’s the Goodreads summary for AMCE:

Ambassador Mahit Dzmare arrives in the center of the multi-system Teixcalaanli Empire only to discover that her predecessor, the previous ambassador from their small but fiercely independent mining Station, has died. But no one will admit that his death wasn't an accident—or that Mahit might be next to die, during a time of political instability in the highest echelons of the imperial court.

Now, Mahit must discover who is behind the murder, rescue herself, and save her Station from Teixcalaan's unceasing expansion—all while navigating an alien culture that is all too seductive, engaging in intrigues of her own, and hiding a deadly technological secret—one that might spell the end of her Station and her way of life—or rescue it from annihilation.

I highly recommend it to anyone wanting to read high sci fi space opera. AMCE is the first book of a duology, but I hadn’t yet read the second book A Desolation Called Peace before I wrote into the desert - which is fortunate and necessary, because the second book is better than the first and successfully addresses the issues I list below.

into the desert is very much a fanfiction for AMCE, despite being exclusive under the CritRole AO3 tag. I had two major lines of thought to explore after reading the book:

1) AMCE is unquestionably about the struggles of existing under an empire/dominant culture, but the demands of the plot and Martine’s own writing style didn’t quite hit the beats that I was looking for.

2) (this is a MAJOR SPOILER WARNING for AMCE): The imago machine that lent itself to my beacon-machines is actually malfunctioning for a large part of the first book, but it is by far the most interesting idea of Martine’s and I wanted to explore what it might be like to actually have one.

I will also shamelessly admit that I read the below passage from AMCE and immediately knew I had to write it for Astrid/Wulf/Caleb:

“Can’t we be done with this, Six Direction,” Nineteen Adze said, and there was an aching, exhausting anguish in her voice. “I want you to live and to hold the throne forever; I will miss you all the days of my life when you are gone, but the sun-spear throne is not a barbarian medical experiment and should not be - look at Mahit, your Brilliance. She has Yskandr in her and she is not Yskandr.”

The Emperor fixed his eyes on Mahit’s. She felt like she was drowning. All the supernatural power she’d imagined a blood ritual to evoke for her was right here, and all it was was reflected limbic system response, a trick of neurology. And yet there was a soapbubble-thin hook behind her sternum, an ache. Six Direction lifted one of his hands - they did not shake, and she had time to wonder at his strength - and cupped her cheek in his hand.

She let Yskandr - the sequence of responses, continuity of memory and its reflection on emotion, on pattern, that used to be Yskandr - lean into that palm. Let him shut her eyes in a deep, slow flutter.

And then took it all back, sat up straight with her eyes wide open, and said, “Your Brilliance, he loved you. I have met you thrice.”

II. EMPIRES AND DYNASTIES CONSUME

I knew from the start that into the desert was going to be slower-paced than most readers would expect or want, but its slow pace is the point: Essek is in a relatively protected position and spends many weeks doing nothing but existing in the City and yet it still changes and challenges him because being Other under a dominant culture is not only about looking different or having less privileges but also about the slow and subtle difference of mannerisms and foods and cultural contexts - not even microaggressions but just the sheer reality of existing differently.

The formal bow and the teeth-smiling are examples lifted directly from AMCE but the focus on sunlight, on food, on clothing are my own.

It’s mentioned in the first chapter that the City is “a planet that actually defines its days by its position around its sun.” Essek and Caleb are “sun-blinded” with “eyes wide open” when they first approach. It’s brought up several more times, usually in conjunction with the Dynasty that keeps its isolation in the dark. The final passage that directly references the sun is this:

He will miss this place, [Essek] thinks. He's been missing it his entire life, even before Caleb, even before knowing. This is the City that is the World. If the Dynasty had sunlight like this - who knows who they might have been?

How to explain this without sounding trite? Is it enough to share that I’m a 1.5-gen immigrant who once heard my father express a longing for some utopic ideal of our home country that has not suffered and I’ve never forgotten it? My parents left by choice, and I didn’t, and now we live somewhere where it gets dark at 4PM every winter, and still we have a brighter future here.

If you know, you know.

Most of what’s happening with food in the fic is pretty blatant - lots of things are unfamiliar to Essek and he makes a genuine effort to assimilate (and Astrid is fond of displays of power). Darkvision only gives shades of gray, so early in the fic there’s a lot of attention given to the colours of food in particular: The grocery store is an assault, Fjord’s fête is a rainbow. It tones down as Essek gets used to it all.

(Fun fact: all the items that Essek picks up in the grocery store reappear.)

(Another fun fact: it’s mentioned that the Dynasty has no natural large bodies of water. I like the idea that the drow came from elsewhere and eventually settled there. You’ve been missing out on sushi your whole life, Essek.)

The language for colour is always simple, because I imagine someone who grew up without much exposure to colour wouldn’t have the reference points or vocabulary to express them poetically. Some things don’t particularly change: Essek dresses in neutrals and never eats meat after he realizes how it looks raw.

The hamburger scene is one of the last that I wrote and added but served a multitude of purposes at once: give us a little bit of the world and a bit of backstory, present Essek with a food familiar to us but unfamiliar to him, introduce the quiet idea that Essek is unused to seeing colour, and set up the way that Essek responds to any difficulty presented to him (he smiles! he smiles a lot in this fic). I’m quite pleased with this scene.

Another line I ended up liking is the idea that in the Dynasty, they wear robes with long loose sleeves that allows them to grasp their forearms or wrists while standing. This works well with Essek’s jade levitation bracelet, which would easily be hidden in Dynasty robes, and of course canon!Caleb’s scars are also there so he often stands like that too but for different reasons. Essek has some minor difficulty shaking this habit.

General modesty aside, he also only wears high-necked clothes in the City because the beacon-machine is implanted at the back of his neck. He lets Beau see it, once, when she helps button him up.

I don’t think it’s controversial to claim that being Other affects one's relationships with other people at literally all times. AMCE has a lot about love and reverence and meaning-making under empire. into the desert is more about service: doing things for people gets complicated in the sociopolitical frameworks that all people exist in, and the idea of taking individual responsibility for something is complicated and maybe impossible.

Essek is a hypocrite because he teases Beau for always defaulting as a mouthpiece of the Cobalt Soul, but he thinks of himself as someone who has unwittingly made individual terrible decisions that hurt other people. He feels like his hurt is personal, just like Caleb feels his hurt is personal, instead of being part of the machine of the Dynasty/Empire.

I am always writing to myself, so the line at the end of Chapter 14 -

Faith. / Not in Empires or Dynasties. Faith should be reserved for people. But this and that are not so separate.

- is a direct response to this line -

“Faith,” Essek said, pressing a kiss to the top of Caleb’s head, “is best reserved for people – not gods nor dynasties. So yes, Caleb Widogast, I am utterly devoted to you.”

- from take my hand / take my whole life too, a canonverse shadowgast fic that I wrote back in April before the end of Campaign 2. The latter is still one of my goddamn favourite lines I’ve written for this pairing and this fandom. It worked for a fic about a relationship between two people and explained my read on Essek’s moral compass, but it is a mentality that I think is kind of unique to the relationship Essek had with the high pressure chamber of the M9 in canon.

III. THE BEACON-MACHINES

I wrote into the desert from July to September. I read AMCE in June, ADCP in September.

It’s November now, and I’ve had months to think, and if you asked me why I was so obsessed with Martine’s imago machines, I would still have to tell you that I don’t have a good answer.

Love is understanding, love is change, love is sacrifice. Loving another is consuming them and opening yourself for the taking in return. To have a soulmate grafted to your body is relief and violation all in one.

You know those tumblr posts that are a variety of quotes and art pieced together to make a new whole? I give you my understanding of Essek-and-Caleb through the beacon-machines:

We’re shadow puppets. Signifiers. And we signify nothing more than difference - that I am me, and not you. And from this essential difference the possibility of eroticism is born.

I am inside you — I am you / or you are me. Let us say to one another: I am yours— and know finally that we will only ever be as much as we are willing to save of one another.

And everyone secretly wants to collaborate with the enemy, to construct a truer version of the self. How much can you change and get away with it, before you turn into someone else, before it’s some kind of murder?

To eat fruit is to welcome into oneself a fair living object, which is alien to us but is nourished and protected like us by earth; it is to consume a sacrifice wherein we sustain ourselves at the expense of things.

To think a flower is to see and smell it, / And to eat a fruit is to know its meaning.

Birds / eat their words, we eat / each other’s, words, hearts, / what’s / the difference?

“Who’s the real you? The person who did something awful, or the one who’s horrified by the awful thing you did? Is one part of you allowed to forgive the other?”

I fear not knowing who I am / I've never known myself as well as I know myself when I'm with him.

You are not alone in this abyssal darkness. I am here, and we shall face the chasm as brothers.

I love you, and I am conscious of you all the time.

a picture of someone stranded in the desert, in frozen tundra, in the ocean, an empty room. they’re alone but they’re seen. It’s god, it’s a spirit, it’s me.

I am walking into the light. / One way to put off loneliness is to interpose God.

I want to tell you this story without having to confess anything…I want to tell you this story without having to be in it.

what fragments of him surviving can be glimpsed, when someone asks (Pause.) whose body is this

What is a ghost? Something dead that seems to be alive. Something dead that doesn't know it's dead.

what is the heart / but a haunting

You can die for it — an idea, or the world. People have done so, brilliantly, letting their small bodies be bound to the stake, creating an unforgettable fury of light.

even if you make it back / there is nothing for you

a burnt child loves the fire

Writing the merging of two characters was such a unique challenge that I really enjoyed.

I’ve written before that despite their numerical ages, Essek is the equivalent of a 20-something year old who can’t imagine surviving past the age of 30, and Caleb is the one who teaches him to live. At the end of Campaign 2, Caleb is concluding his character arc and Essek is still just starting.

Accordingly, Essek is about 22 in into the desert and Caleb-in-his-head is about 28, though the “real Caleb” would be about 35 when the fic takes place. It suited to have Essek be the one changing, and Caleb the one doing the changing - it is not as simple as that, but one of them has a name and a body, and the other is a memory in a machine.

The entire turning point of the fic was the mirroring of Caleb betraying the Empire by returning the beacon-machine and Essek betraying the Dynasty by giving over the beacon-machine. In canon, they make these choices independently; in into the desert, it’s more complicated. Their compatibility levels are brought up multiple times throughout the fic but compatibility isn’t necessarily about the similar choices they make as distinct entities, but instead about how able they are to grow towards each other once they’re no longer so distinct.

Would Essek have given the beacon-machine to the Empire without Caleb? I don’t know, the same way that I don’t know if canon!Essek would have “redeemed” himself without Caleb (and Jester, because she deserves so much credit).

I had into the desert beta-read, which is already an admission to how difficult I found writing the fic. One of the major points my beta brought up which didn’t land for her was the scene in which Essek-and-Caleb first meet Astrid; she thought that Caleb wouldn’t react that way.

I had to think about it for a long time but ultimately I agreed with her - if Caleb was entirely himself, he would’ve had the same emotional reaction but been able to keep it entirely internalized. It’s actually Essek who isn’t ready for it and doesn’t filter the reaction properly because he’s never felt anything like that before. It’s a failure between the two of them that neither of them would’ve failed by themselves.

I did wonder for a while if I could tag as Essek/Caleb when their relationship is about becoming one person, but ultimately I figured most people looking for shadowgast would be OK with this fic turning up.

IV. THE CHARACTERS

When I get stuck or lost (often, with this fic), I like to sit down and summarize what I think the characters/plot/atmosphere/etc. are trying to be about in my writing. Here are the blurbs for Essek and Caleb:

Essek has been pushed by his mother and his mentor, the Bright Queen, into excellence. He grew up around adults and defaults to a quiet politeness to impress and/or not cause trouble. He was raised under great pressure and is used to feeling quite alone. He still has some stubborn curiosity, but he feels very much like his life is not his own.

Caleb, on the other hand, has some stubborn cynicism - he violently uprooted his own life when he defected and likely never felt any true measure of peace again. He was treated very much as an outsider in the Dynasty (which Essek fails to realize in CH6), and lacked any true connections to others after leaving the City. Despite everything, some part of him is happy to see Rexxentrum again, but it must be hard to be a guide to a place that they both know will never be kind.

(As an aside, I’ve always liked to touch on the question of whether or not Caleb’s parents are innocent, but also whether or not it matters.)

There is something about Essek bringing him to home-the-place and Caleb showing him how sometimes it can be home-the-people.

Funnily enough, the character I spent weeks untangling for this fic wasn’t Essek or Caleb (both of whose canon selves were well-worn and familiar to me) but Beauregard.

I’ve written about it before but the TL;DR is that I fundamentally dislike Caleb and Beau’s canon endings for the same reasons (they end the game as servants of the Empire, but Beau more so), and I found myself often pitting Beau and Caleb against each other in my fics because I don’t change Beau but I do change Caleb because he is my preferred focal point. This isn’t inherently a problem because they often challenge each other in canon anyway, it’s a good part of their relationship, and it serves my stories well to highlight how my Caleb is different.

That was my original plan for into the desert - Beau had an antagonistic relationship with Essek and actively fought or worked against him at multiple points as an agent of the Cobalt Soul. I was imagining her as we knew her at the end of the campaign. into the desert as it is now is nearly domestic, into the desert as it started was much more political thriller.

But I felt bad. Beau is still one of my favourite characters because I see so much of myself in her, and sacrificing her constantly to her canonical fate that I don’t even like was doing her a disservice (and also, I kind of suck at writing political thrillers).

So I cancelled the whole thing 8k words in and started over with a different Beau. I went with a Beau who had never been sold, who had already fought and grown and learned during her time in Nicodranas before the fic. She still comes off as brash, because her default is an awkward earnestness that she hasn’t mastered, but she is so much more chill - she’s in the City trying to make a meaningful life for herself on purpose. She’s still hungry and she wants to prove herself, but she’s finding the “office life” pretty dull, until she gets assigned to Essek.

Now she knows what it’s like to be young and lost in a new city, and she’s immediately more sympathetic towards Essek. Essek doesn’t realize that, and is still only barely realizing what that means by the end of into the desert - but Beau is his first and only friend, so I don’t really blame him. I didn’t explore it much but I do imagine that Beau is very different with Essek than with anyone else, because she adjusts so much to him (for example, in Chapter 2, she calls the ball a bore in an effort to bond with Essek, not put down the job, and he misunderstands. aborted motions of touch, etc.), and I think he has complicated thoughts about that once he realizes.

Fun fact: Beau’s mission from the Cobalt Soul in into the desert is specifically to secure the beacon-machine. The actual implication is to safeguard it from the Cerberus Assembly, but Beau generously translates it in her mind to protecting Essek.

Extra fun fact: There is a Fjord ↔ Jester ↔ Beau relationship chevron lovingly constructed in my head. This ended up mattering very little to the fic, but here are some of my “headcanons” for this Nicodranas trio:

Fjord is a good 10-20 years older than Beau and Jester and took them under his wing several years before this fic begins.

Fjord and Beau are platonic brjeaus. He knows what it is like to spend your teens living in the streets of Nicodranas, doing what you need to to get by, getting into fights every week because you have a giant chip on your shoulder, and still feeling like life is better than it was before you got there.

Jester is a high-end escort, as is her mother, though her career never quite takes off because she meets Astrid when she is 18 and Astrid is 32 and she is then banished from Nicodranas after pranking and embarrassing Astrid.

Jester is genuinely Fjord’s official consort - this was partly to protect her from Astrid, and generally to make her life easier for all things bureaucratic and political. It’s common for consort relationships to be open anyway, but it works well for them because in this AU Fjord is asexual and sex-neutral (what are AUs for if not to stick completely random pet headcanons into) and though he and Jester also have romantic feelings for each other, they’re in different stages of life and don’t feel any need to be serious and/or exclusive.

Beau and Jes are in a romantic and sexual relationship. I like to imagine Beau running wild in the streets of Nicodranas trying to impress the pretty prostitute who keeps smiling at her from her rooftop even though she definitely can’t afford her.

V. ESSEK’S GRAVITURGY

into the desert explains Essek’s expertise on dunamancy as an adaptation of the Resonant Echo spell that Essek creates in canon:

As an action, the caster can make a shadowy clone of themselves, referred to as an “echo”. They can use the echo to cast one spell, after which the echo vanishes. The echo has a limited number of hit points.

Suitably for Verin, the Echo Knight fighter subclass has a similar ability.

But into the desert never explicitly explains Essek’s expertise on graviturgy, so I’ll offer you the following clips:

There are multiple small grav-machines in Essek’s Rosohna study that would make [squishing a hamburger] look like child’s play [...]

[...] he chooses a sheer one for this occasion, the flowing fabric barely visible except to guide a layer of sparkling dark gems over top the shoulders of his blouse [...]

[...] taking off his elaborate mantelpiece, checking that each of the heavy dark jewels remain in place, wiping off his makeup [...]

Caleb understands that it is still possible to be loved as a tool, as a weapon.

[...] many of the jewels twinkle and hum under even the faintest hint of light, like familiar dark stars in his closet.

[...] the graviturgy lent itself to many applications, though Essek’s work was largely done for the field [...]

He takes the largest jewel and rips it off, placing it in his suit pocket, and he is mollified by the weight. It’s not necessary – he has more than enough accessories all glittering with the same deep purple gems, all humming with a familiar power and feeling – but it feels good, in a brutish way.

There is the weight of the Dynasty jewel in his pocket still, heavy as a dark star; there is still Dairon and Beauregard next to him – Beau, his first friend.

And here is the description for 8th-level dunamancy spell Dark Star:

Cast on a point within 150 feet, the spell creates a sphere with a radius of up to 40 feet filled with magical darkness and crushing gravitational force. For the duration, the spell's area is difficult terrain which neither darkvision nor non-magical light illuminates, and no sound can be created within or pass through the area. A creature or object entirely inside the sphere is immune to thunder damage and deafened. It is impossible to cast a spell with a verbal component.

Any creature that enters the spell's area for the first time on a turn or starts its turn takes 8d10 force damage on a failed Constitution saving throw, and half as much damage on a successful one. A creature reduced to 0 hit points by this damage is disintegrated.

VI. MISC COMMENTS

Stories are about meaning-making. Here are a bunch of miscellaneous notes I've made in response to comments and discussion on my fic (for which I am always and entirely thankful).

AMCE is incredibly jargon-heavy, and I stripped so much world-building away to make into the desert more palatable. Why does Beau do dishes in a world where they have interstellar space travel? Just to keep the roommate situation familiar.

I got several comments confused about the cloudhooks, which is entirely my bad. I initially wrote them as passcards equivalent to the ones we have IRL but changed them to Martine’s cloudhooks last minute and then utterly failed to explain them. I honestly don’t even remember how Martine describes them either. If you were confused, here was my response to one comment:

people would choose the style they prefer, naturally, so some people might wear a monocle, others might want one that doesn't have a frame, per se, but broadcasts the info right in front of the eye, others might go for wrap around glasses. their purpose is the very stereotypical scifi one of essentially providing an overlay of info onto the world as an advanced version of our smartphones and they also serve as ID, etc. you could also get one implanted directly into skin. i imagine beau's as, hm, like half a pair of rectangular glasses essentially? so she could fold it back so it isn't actually in front of her eye.

Consecution was purposefully left a bit mystical. The Luxon priests are the ones who learn to install the actual beacon-machines. I think Martine does describe the imago machines in AMCE, but in my imagination they look like small gems set similarly to a piece of jewelry but visibly embedded into the skin at the back of the neck/base of skull.

I didn’t delve into the physicality of the beacon-machines in the fic, but it has always been interesting to me. You could literally rip Caleb out of Essek, but Essek wouldn't survive - it's literally embedded in his brain. But you could! (It does also amuse me to think of the beacon-machine/Caleb as Essek’s weak spot if he was a boss monster.)

It is crazy to me to imagine a society where everyone knows they will grow into the annihilation of themselves - this applies to the CritRole canon as well. I always imagine my Esseks as someone who struggles a lot for control and giving himself up after spending so many years making himself would never feel right to him. Even though Caleb is his perfect match in many ways, it’s still absolutely a tragedy for Essek that he concedes to taking the beacon-machine at all. His fear of losing control is still smaller than his fear of being alone, so far from home.

Given his fears, it’s unsurprising he has a complicated relationship with Verin. Essek spends his entire childhood wishing Verin was different and then suddenly realizing he does not actually want that at all because, what? Would he wish Verin was the same as him, underwent the same things as him? Of course not. Verin deserves better. Let him be happy.

Except, of course, that there's nothing Essek can do to guarantee someone else's happiness.

I think a lot about siblings, both of blood and of choice. Caleb and Beau often do have a sibling-ish relationship but it’s different coming into that as adults vs. “I was literally born knowing you” as Essek and Verin are. I think this is one of the few notable points where Essek and Caleb fail to truly understand each other.

On some level, into the desert is truly about Essek and Beau. This man needed an entire personality graft to be able to make one (1) friend but it’s worth it all, isn’t it? I joke that Essek finally calling her “Beau” is the true emotional climax of the fic.

So many comments mentioned how bittersweet or how immensely full of grief the fic is. Two years ago, at the start of Covid, one of my close friends who is white said that he could understand why parents were petitioning to have Chinese kids removed from the classroom. It’s the grief of thinking you know or can trust “a good one” and then being betrayed anyway. Beau being Essek’s first friend in into the desert and being able to see how the Empire treats him and being able to change herself and go to bat for him is literally one of the best and happiest endings I could’ve given him. This fic is so much about Beau, and about Beau and Essek.

@road-rhythm mentioned how Essek and Caleb in into the desert reads like love stories with ghosts do, and oh, how I hold that tenderly. I’ve mentioned previously in this document that I’ve understood Caleb’s existence as a haunting; I’ve considered how this fic is quietly about their canonical lifespan difference, but I’ve never made the leap to it being a ghost story. Victorian ghost stories centred on technology were one of my favourites things to study during my literature degree and so close to being the topic of my thesis - it makes me so happy to imagine I may have written one accidentally.

As a final fun fact, it’s been a minor thread in several of my fics that Caleb keeps finding Undercommon poetry books that belong to Essek but he’s never sure if Essek actually likes them or if they’re more for pretentious decoration (they’re usually displayed in common areas, not private spaces). In into the desert, Caleb does actually find out what Essek feels about poetry. These are truly the small details that come from writing for myself. I do entertain me and that's what matters.

VII. TIMELINES

These are copied nearly verbatim from my notes.

The short-term timeline of the fic:

Pre-Fic The Empire sets up a base on the Ashkeepers.

Week 1 arrival, meeting beau, essek eats a hamburger.

Week 2 mail, grocery shopping, buying clothes

Week 3 captain fjord's fête

Week 4 vaguely exploring the city, beau takes essek to the lavish chateau

Week 5 vaguely exploring the city + drinking

Week 6 vaguely exploring the city + drinking

Week 7 cutting of ribbon, poetry reading, poetry studying

Week 8 poetry studying, essek starts floating, essek gets his passcard

Week 9 hacked passcard

Week 10 dance hall

Week 11 first invite from astrid & wulf, dinner, essek finds out about the ashkeepers

Week 12 letter writing, jester, second invite from astrid & wulf

Week 13 meeting the king and crown

The longer-term timeline of the backstory:

25 years ago: the last Kryn ambassador to the Empire returned home

10 years ago: War of Ash and Light. A few months of general tensions between the Empire and the Dynasty. Skirmishes that never evolved into full warfare when an Empire agent defected to the Dynasty. The only beacon the Empire had ever studied was thus returned to the Dynasty after having been in their grasp for only a few months.

7 years ago: Caleb Widogast is consecuted.

5 years ago: Essek, at the age of 16, refuses to be consecrated.

5 years ago: Beau runs away from home

5 years ago: Caleb Widogast disappears.

3 years ago: Beau goes to the City and becomes a student at the Hall of Erudition

3 years ago: Jester (18) sleeps with Astrid (32) right before Astrid kills Trent. She is exiled from Nicodranas at some point afterwards.

2 years ago: When Essek is 19 and Verin 16, Verin is consecuted and sent to the Ashkeepers as a soldier/Taskhand

Current: The Empire once again requests the presence of a Kryn Ambassador. The Bright Queen voluntells Essek, who ends up agreeing to being consecuted before departing. He gets a beacon-machine with the soul of Caleb Widogast.

#critical role #shadowgast #caleb widogast #essek thelyss #beauregard lionett #fanfiction #campaign 2 #my posts

[highsviolets]

INTERVIEW NO. 1: RACHEL @djarinsbeskar

hello hello! i am so happy to announce that rachel — aka the immense talent that is @djarinsbeskar — has agreed to be my first interviewee for this new series! thank you to rach and to each one of you for all of your support. to read more about the project, click here, and to submit an author, click here.

| why rachel? |

Rachel captured my imagination from the first time we interacted as mutuals-in-law. She’s bursting with energy and vivaciousness, with a current of kindness just underneath everything she does. Her work is no exception. Oftentimes gritty, raw, and exposing (in … ahem…more ways than one), Rachel challenges her readers to dig deeper into both the story and themselves. Her smut brings a particular fire as it’s laced with need, desire, and mutual trust that leads us deeper into the characters’ identities and how physical affection can mimic other forms of intimacy. She’s a tour de force in this fandom and an absolute joy.

| known for |

Engaging with and encouraging other authors, cultivating inspo posts, attention to world building & character development

| my favorites |

Stitches

Boxer!Din

Full Masterlist • Ko-Fi

| q & a |

When did you start writing? What was that project, and what was it like? Has that feeling or process ever changed over time? Why?

I can’t remember a time I wasn’t writing. I was an avid reader, as I think most writers are—and I remember, after picking up Lord of the Rings—that I could live so many lives, experience so many things, all from the pages of a book. I could make sense of the world through words and ink and paper. And it offered me a level of peace and clarity I wanted to share with others. So, I started writing.

My first project I remember to this day, was a short story about a dog. I had been so heartbroken when I learned that dogs were colourblind. I must have been about seven or eight at the time, and I was fixated on this idea that dogs couldn’t see the vibrant hues that made the world beautiful. It was something I wanted to change—and with all the righteous anger of a child not getting their own way, I sulked over the fact that I couldn’t. Until I wrote it down.

“How do dogs see colour?”

And much like my writing today, I answered myself.

“Dogs don’t need to see colour. Dogs smell colour.”

And so, I wrote a story, about a puppy being brought on different walks by its owner. And with every new street it walked down—colour bloomed with scent. Colours more beautiful and vibrant than we could ever hope to see with our eyes. And it gave me solace and helped me work through an emotion that – granted was immature and inconsequential – had affected me. To this day, I still smile seeing dogs sniffing at everything they pass on their walks. Smelling colour. It gave me the key to my favourite thing in life. I don’t think my process has changed much since then. Much of what I write is based on a skeleton plan, but I leave room for characters to speak and feel as they need to. I like to know the starting point and destination of a chapter—but how they get there, that still falls to instinct. I think I’ve found a happy medium of strict planning and winging it that suits me now—and hopefully it will continue to improve over time!

When did you start posting your writing, and on what platform? What gave you the push to do that?

I mean, fanfiction has always been part of my life. I think anyone who was growing up in the late 2000’s and early 2010’s found their way to fanfiction.net at some time or other. The wild west compared to what we have now! My first post was for the Lord of the Rings fandom on fanfiction.net. It was an anthology of the story told through the eyes of the steeds. Bill the Pony, Shadowfax—it was all very innocent. That was probably in 2010 when I was fifteen. I had been wanting to share writing for a long time but was worried about how it would be received. I didn’t really have a gauge on my level or my creativity and – one of the many flaws of someone with crippling perfectionism – I only ever wanted to provide perfection. That was a major inhibitor when I was younger. By wanting it to be perfect, I never posted anything. Until that stupidly cute LOTR fic. It was freeing to write something that no one but me had any interest in, because if I was writing for myself then there was no one to disappoint, right? And that was all it took. I had some pauses over the years between college and life and such, but I’ve never lost that mindset when it comes to posting.

What your favorite work of yours that you have ever written? Why is it your favorite? What is more important to you when considering your own stories for your own enjoyment — characters? fandom? spice? emotional development? the work you’ve put into it? Is that different than what you enjoy reading most in other people’s fics?

I don’t think it’ll come as much of a surprise when I say Stitches. While not original, I mean—it follows the plot of the Mandalorian quite diligently, it is the piece of work I really hold very close to my heart. Din Djarin as a character is what got me back into writing after what must have been five years? He inspired something. His manner, his personality—he resonated with me as a person in a way I hadn’t felt in a long time. And gave me back a creative outlet I had been missing.

It’s funny to say out loud—but I wanted to give him something? I spent so long thinking about his character that half my brain felt like it belonged to him—how he reacted and responded to things etc. and of course, like every dreamy Pisces—I wanted to give him love and happiness. So, Stitches came along. Personally, when writing—it’s a combination of characters, emotional development and spice (I can’t help myself) and when we can follow that development. With Stitches, it’s definitely the spice that is the conduit for development—but I adore showing how the physical can help people who struggle to communicate emotions too complex for words.

I don’t usually read for Din, as most people know—but I do enjoy reading the type of work that Stitches is. Human, damaged—but still with an undercurrent of hope that makes me think of children’s books.

You said, “much like writing today, I answered myself.” Could you talk about that in relation to Stitches?

So, I’m endlessly curious, it has to be said. Especially about why people are the way they are. Why people do A instead of B. Why X person’s immediate thought went to this place instead of that place. And I’m rarely satisfied with superficial explanations. One of the most exciting parts of writing and fanfiction especially, is making sense of that why. There can be countless explanations, some that are content with what is seen on the surface and some that go deep and some that go even deeper still.

Stitches is almost a – very long winded and much too long – answer to the questions I was so intrigued by about Din Djarin, about the Mandalorian and about the Star Wars universe as a whole. I often wondered what happened to people after the Rebellion, the normal people who fought—the people in the background. What did they do next? Did some of them suffer from PTSD? What was the galaxy like right after the Empire fell? That first season of the Mandalorian answered some of those questions, but I wanted to know more. So, I created a reader insert who was a combat medic—and through her, I let myself answer the questions of what happened next.

Regarding Din as a character, I wanted to know what a bounty hunter with a code of honour would do in certain situations—what made him tick, what made hm vulnerable. I wanted to explore the discovery of his identity. Din Djarin didn’t exist after he was taken from Aq Vetina. He became a cog in a very efficient machine of Mandalorians—and it was safe there. I wanted to see what – or who – might encourage him to step into his own. Grogu was that person in a familial sense, but what about romantically? What about individually? There’s so much to explore with this man! So many facets of personality and nuances of character that make him so gorgeous to write and think about.

Talk to me about the Din Djarin Athletic Universe. How does Din as all of these forms of athlete play off who you see him as in canon?

The Athletic Universe! How I adore my athletes. Despite being in a modern setting, I have kept the core of Din’s character in each of them (at least I hope I have!). I like to divide Din’s character into three phases when it comes to canon because he’s not as immovable as people seem to think he is. We discussed this before, how I see Din as a water element—adaptable, but strong enough that he can be as steadfast as rock. But I digress, the first phase is the character we see in the first episode. Basically, before Grogu. There’s an aggressive brutality to Din when we see him bounty hunting. He works on autopilot and isn’t swayed by sob stories or promises. He has the covert but is ultimately separate. Those soft feelings he comes to recognise when he has Grogu are dormant – not non-existent – but they haven’t been nurtured or encouraged. This is the point I extracted Boxer!Din’s personality and story from.

Cyclist!Din on the other hand—is already a father, a biological father to Grogu. And his personality, I took from that moment in the finale of Season two where I believe Din’s transformative arc of character solidified. He was always a father to Grogu, but I do believe that moment where he removes his helmet is the moment, he accepts that role fully in his heart and mind. And that is why I don’t believe for a second, that removing his helmet was him breaking his Creed. In fact, I believe it was the purest act he could do in devotion to his Creed—to his foundling, to his son. The Cyclist!AU is very much the character I see canon Din having should Grogu have stayed with him. This single dad who isn’t quite sure how he got to where he is now—but does anything and everything for his child without thought. It’s a natural instinct for him, and I like exploring those possibilities with Cyclist!Din.

You also said, “he has the covert but is ultimately separate.” What does it take for him — and you — to get to that point of being ‘not separate?’

I mentioned this above, but one of the biggest interests I have in Din as a character is his identity. He’s a Mandalorian, he’s a bounty hunter, he’s the child’s guardian but those are all what he is, not who. I think Din is separate while being part of the covert because he doesn’t know. I don’t think anyone can really be part of something if they don’t know who they are or, they struggle with their identity. It’s curious to me—how you can deceive even yourself to mimic the standard set for the many. In the boxer verse, he identifies himself in relation to his boxing—and every part of his outward personality exhibits those qualities. But when he’s given a softer touch—an outlet of affection, and comfort—we see the softer side of him surface. It’s very much the same with Stitches Din. Identity is like anything, emotions—relationships, bodies. It needs nurturing to thrive, an open door—a safe space. At least, that’s what goes through my mind when I think of him.

Who is your favorite character to read?

Frankie because there are so many ways his character can be interpreted and there are some stellar versions of him that I think of at least once a day. Javi because he reminds me of kintsugi-- golden recovery, broken pottery where the cracks are highlighted with gold. I also adore reading for Boba Fett, Paz Viszla and the clones!

Is there anything else you want your readers to know about you, your writing, or your creative process?

Hmm... only that I am quite literally a gremlin clown who is always here to chat Din, Star Wars, literature, book recs and anything else under the sun! I like to hear people's stories, their opinions etc. it helps me see things from alternative points of view and can truly help the writing process! Other than that, I think I can only thank readers for putting up with my ridiculously long chapters and rambling introspection. Thank you for indulging me always! ❤️

#pedro pascal #din djarin #the mandalorian #the mandalorian x reader #din djarin x reader #din djarin x f!reader #the mandalorian x f!reader #the mandalorian x you #din djarin x you #djarinsbeskar #chat with cris #author interview series #tuserdaniela #userastrid #usernobie #userhai #pedrostories

[peachscribe]

peach’s summer book list

i had a lot of fun compiling the list of books i read during the 20-21 winter, so i decided i would do a summer one as well! i still have a lot of books i own but haven’t read, so im definitely not lacking in material

if you didn’t see my winter list, how my book list works is basically like this: i read a book that i own but have not previously read, write a short summary immediately after finishing the book, write down my thoughts on the book, and then provide a rating for the book. i also might include background info on why i read this particular book/feelings about the author, but that depends on the book. that’s how each entry works

without further ado, let’s get started!

1. Grasshopper Jungle by Andrew Smith

okay so i absolutely adore another book by andrew smith (written after grasshopper jungle) called the alex crow. it’s one of my favorite books of all time, so naturally i wanted to see if grasshopper jungle would make me feel similarly. just like the alex crow, grasshopper jungle’s plot is. so fucking weird. it stars austin szerba, a teenage polish kid who lives in ealing, iowa, and is often sexually confused regarding his girlfriend shann and his best friend robby. and in ealing, iowa, austin and robby accidentally and unknowingly unleash an unstoppable army of huge six-foot-tall praying mantis bugs that only want to do two things: fuck and eat. and i just have to say: andrew smith’s got an absolutely dynamo writing style. alex crow is similar, where it’s a book about kind of everything all at once, framed in a moment centering around teenage boys. it’s fantastic, and it’s more than a little gross, and i love it. this book made me feel so many things, and i thought austin was such an amazing narrator and main character to identify with. this book has it all: shitty teenage boy humor, fucked up science experiments, and poetic imagery that will make you want to cry. and explicit lgbt characters.

412/10 andrew smith what do you put in your water i just want to know

2. Burn by Patrick Ness

patrick ness has written a plethora of some of my favorite books (such as a monster calls, the chaos walking trilogy, and the rest of us just live here) so when i saw this one in the store i knew it would be a great one. burn is an alternate history fantasy that takes place in 1957 frome, washington, during the height of the cold war, and it begins with a girl named sarah and her father hiring a dragon to help out on their farm. but there’s not just dragons, farm living, and cold war tensions; there’s also a really shitty small town cop, a cult of dragon worshippers and their deadly teenage assassin, a pair of fbi agents, and a prophecy that sarah’s newly hired dragon claims she’s a part of. i think eoin colfer’s highfire was on my winter list, which also featured a story that included dragons and shitty cops, so when i first began burn i thought it was funny to have two books that had both things. you know, if you had a nickel etc etc. but that’s really where the similarities end because burn is entirely it’s own monster (dragon). burn is entirely invested in its world, and its fascinating. not only that, i had no clue where the book would take me next. there were so many surprises and amazing twists that honestly just blew me away. this book also includes beautifully written complicated discussions on family, race, and love - it features interracial and queer romances as the two most prominent romance plots which was such a nice surprise from a book i wasn’t expecting to have that kind of representation. this book is witty, fast-paced, and a very heartening read - i absolutely adored it.

9/10 dragons and becoming motivated by the power of love and friendship are so fucking cool

3. As Meat Loves Salt by Maria McCann

i hate this book! as meat loves salt is a historical fiction novel which takes place in seventeenth century england, which is going through a grisly civil war. the protagonist, jacob cullen, is a servant for a wealthy household and is engaged to another servant in the house. but due to certain events that are almost entirely jacob’s fault, he flees the house and is separated from his wife. from there, he joins the royal army and meets a kind soldier, ferris, and the two become fast friends. jacob and ferris’s relationship begins to bridge past friendly, and jacob struggles with his homoerotic feelings as well as the growing obsession and violence inside him. also, they try to start a colony. listen, i don’t know how to describe the book because so much happens, but it basically just follows jacob and all the terrible decisions he makes because he is, truly, a terrible person. ferris is kind and good, and jacob is scum of the earth. he sucks so bad. the entire time i was reading this book (which took absolutely so long), all i wanted was for jacob to just get his ass handed to him. i wanted to see him suffer. and it’s not like i just personally don’t like him - i believe the book purposefully depicts him as unsympathetic even though he is the narrator. i did enjoy the very in depth and accurate portrayal of what life would’ve been like in seventeenth century england, and i think it was interesting to read a character that is just the absolute worst person you’ve ever encountered and see him try and justify his actions, so if you enjoy that kind of thorough writing, then this book would be perfect for you. however, i did not see that bitch ass motherfucker jacob cullen suffer enough. i’d kill him with my bare hands.

2/10 diversity win! the worst man on earth is mlm!

4. This Savage Song by Victoria Schwab

i know ive had a friend tell me how great one of schwab’s other book series is, but truthfully i bought this book because the cover is sick as hell and it was on a table in the store that advertised for buy two get one free, i think. something like that. anyway, this savage song takes place in a future in which monsters, for whatever reason, suddenly became real and out for blood in a mysterious event nicknamed the phenomenon. august flynn is one of these monsters, but he takes no pride in that fact and only wants to feel human. kate harker is the daughter of a ruthless man and is trying her hardest to be ruthless, too, but deep down she knows it’s just an act. their city, verity, stands divided, and kate and august stand on either side - but when august is sent on a mission to befriend kate in the hopes of stopping an all out war, the lines begin to blur. this book rules. august and kate are such interesting and dynamic characters, and the narrative is familiar while still being capable of twisting the story around and taking the feet out from under you in really compelling ways. this savage song is part of the monsters of verity duology, and i can’t wait to dive into how the story continues and finishes.

11/10 sometimes you can judge a book by it’s cover

4a. Our Dark Duet by Victorian Schwab

this is the sequel and finale for this savage song and i’d figure i’d update everyone: fantastic ending, beautiful, showstopping, painful.

12/10 loved it and will definitely be keeping an eye out for schwab’s other books

5. White is for Witching by Helen Oyeyemi

oh boy. okay. white is for witching is about a house, and it is about the women who have lived inside of it. when her mother dies abroad, miranda silver begins to act strangely, and there’s nothing her father or her twin brother seem to be able to do about it. she develops an eating disorder and begins to hear voices in the silver family house, converted to a bed and breakfast by miranda’s dad; and she begins to lose herself in the house and the persistent presence of her family legacy. white is for witching switches perspective dizzingly and disorientingly between miranda, her twin eliot, miranda’s friend from school named ore, and the house itself. this story is a horror story as much as it as a tragedy as much as it is a romance as much as it is a bunch of other things. oyeyemi brings race, sexuality, nationality, and family into this story and forces you not to look away. this book is poetry.

(like i mentioned briefly, this book heavily deals with topics of race and closely follows miranda’s eating disorder. read responsibly, and take care of yourselves)

15/10 this book consumed me and i think i’ll have to read it another 10 more times to feel it properly

6. These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong

okay. okay. strap in for a ride. these violent delights is a romeo and juliet style story, taking place in glittering 1920’s shanghai. the city stands divided - not only between the foreign powers encroaching on chinese land, but also between the scarlet gang and the white flowers, who are at the height of a generations-long blood feud. juliette cai, heir to the scarlets, has recently returned from four years abroad and is determined to prove herself ruthless enough to lead. roma montagov, heir to the white flowers, is standing strenuously on his place as next in line due to a slip up four years prior and is desperate to keep hold of his title. and in the midst of juliette and roma’s burning history with each other threatening to combust, an unnatural monster lurks in the waters of shanghai, loosing a madness on scarlets and white flowers alike. this book has it all - scorned ex lovers, political intrigue, deadly monsters, and all set on a glamorous backdrop of the roaring twenties. i absolutely was enraptured by this book and the way it plays around the story of romeo and juliet so well that it easily became it’s own monster, but with the punches and embraces of something classically shakespearan. gong does just an absolutely breathtaking job of fitting this fantastical story amid the larger world of shanghai and the real life historical events that had shaken the city to its core. completely immersive and outstandingly heart racing.

17/10 i was chewing on my fingernails for the last thirty pages and will continue to do so until the sequel is released (our violent ends, 16 nov 21)

7. The Antiques by Kris D’Agostino

you ever heard of the american dysfunctional family story? this is most definitely that. at the same time george westfall’s cancer takes a turn for the worse, a hurricane hits the east coast, and suddenly all at once the issues of his health, the hurricane, and all three of his children’s achingly dysfunctional adult lives are crashing into each other. reunited by george’s death, the westfall siblings have to face their grief, each other, and the problems in their own lives they attempted to put on hold while planning their father’s memorial. this is a nice story about grief and loss and love and somehow finding the humor amidst it all.

(this book does include a depiction of an autistic child who does experience several pretty bad meltdowns due to ignorant people around him not understanding how to cater to his needs. im not an authority on what depictions are or are not harmful, but i do believe this depiction is ultimately loving and well-intended.)

7/10 it made me laugh and cry and was generally one of those books that somehow hit you close to home

8. Fierce Fairytales by Nikita Gill

fierce fairytales is a poetry anthology that reimagines classic fairytales from a modern, feminist viewpoint, acknowledging that the line between hero and villain, monster and damsel, are not as clear cut as the classics try to make you believe. this book also includes illustrations done by the author herself, which i think is really cool. my personal favorite story reimagining was the story of peter pan and captain hook, called ‘boy lost’ which looked at how peter and hook’s relationship began and rotted. all in all, i think this collection of stories had a lot of important things to say and said them in frank, easy to understand poetry and prose.

7/10 beautiful message and pretty prose, but at times a little cliche

and that’s all from the summer! my fall semester starts tomorrow, and overall i feel very good about all the reading i did this summer. i even read four other books not on this list for work! so i definitely feel like i made the most out of my time, and im really glad i was able to read so many stories that made me feel a variety of different things

thanks so much for reading this list, and let me know if you read or have read any of these books and tell me what you think of them!

happy reading<3

#book recs #book rec #book rec list #grasshopper jungle #burn #as meat loves salt #this savage song #monsters of verity #white is for witching #these violent delights #the antiques #fierce fairytales #just like my winter list i did write ever review immediately after finishing the book and i think. #i think here you can really tell what my immediate reactions were based on how the review is written fbfjfjd

[whentheynameyoujoy]

Yup, Sure Was a Finale

I had an epiphany. The reason why I never re-watched the final two parts of Sozin’s Comet even though I’ve popped in episodes at random many times over the years isn’t that I can’t bear the sadness of seeing one of the best, most engaging narratives out there come to an end.

It’s simply that the finale isn’t all that good.

Some honorable mentions of what was enjoyable.

(+) This

Just this.

(+) The Church of Zutara has another convert

“Are you sure they don’t get together?” Hubster, 2020

(+) The tragedy of Azula

And the fact that it’s acknowledged as such. I hope Zuko will do his best to get her help and have a relationship with her…

(+) Sokka being a big bro

And the whole airship sequence in general. It’s wonderfully paced and plotted, with moments of humor, real stakes, Toph being both badass and a scared crying kid, Sokka strategizing and protecting, Suki saving the day, and non-benders being instrumental in thwarting the bad guy firebender’s plans. Would be shame if Bryke never portrayed them this capable ever again…

And now for the main course.

(-) Blink and its over

The wrap-up feels too quick (hashtag Needs More ROtK-style False Endings). A part of this is due to how fast the story goes from the thick of the action to hastily tying up a bunch of loose ends, but the larger issue is how Book 3’s uneven pacing comes home to roost. After spending half a season on filler episodes that at best subtly flesh out established characters while dancing around a huge lionturtle-shaped hole, and at worst contradict the theme of “no one is born bad” with “you’re a hot mess because your great-grandfathers didn’t get along too well”, the frantic “go go go” rush of the second half screeches to a halt with “they won and everyone was happy because now the right people have power and it will be all good from now on yup nothing more to deal with baiiiii”.

Yes, I know, it’s a kids’ show. But goddamn, this particular kids’ show has proven so many times it can do better than the expected tropiness. Showing the characters in their roles as builders of a new world was the least that could have been done.

Oh well!

(-) Ursa

We’ll never know. There will never be a story that delves into this. Yup. Shall forever remain but an intriguing mystery. Is good, though. Mystery is better than a story where Ursa shares her son’s penchant for forgetfulness. Imagine how embarrassing that would be. Speaking of which…

(-) What does Mai see in this jerkbender?

Look, I like to harp a lot on the mess of inconsistent writing that’s Mai but let’s unpack this scene from her perspective, shall we?

Zuko forgot about her! It totally slipped his mind that the one person who prioritized the safety of his dumb ass was rotting in the worst prison in the Fire Nation—because of him! And she was rotting there long enough after the final Agni Kai for the news of Zuko’s upcoming coronation to spread and her uncle to feel sufficiently secure to release her. But then the coronation scene is attended by every single member of Gaang & Friends that was imprisoned?

So what this tells me is that either a) the invasion force had the ability to break themselves out the whole time and for some reason decided not to exercise it until after the war was over, b) Zuko forgot about them as well and no one thought to remind him there were prisons full of POWs until Mai arrived, or, and that’s even better, c) Zuko took care to free every single resistance fighter while making sure Mai would be the one to stay behind bars.

Never thought I’d say this but Mai? Honey? You deserve so much better.

(-) “What does Katara want?”

Asked no one in the writers’ room ever, apparently.

This is not so much anti Cataang as anti romance stories that pay attention to the needs, opinions, and wants of only one partner in general. Over the previous 60 episodes, Katara actively expressed romantic interest in Aang exactly, wait for it,

Once.

And it got retconned out of relevance by the following two interactions where the possibility of a romantic relationship came up, making the Headband dance pretty easy to reclassify as just one of those examples where Aang “teaches” Katara to have fun (as if one of the main obstacles to her having fun wasn’t him constantly fooling around and offloading his duties). And because the writers not only didn’t succeed in portraying Katara’s internal state of mind, but also failed to root her reluctance to pursue a relationship in outside circumstances that could change, her sudden state of unconfused once Aang steps into the spotlight has a single canonical explanation that as much as approaches coherency.

The fact is, though, that trying to interpret canon Cataang from a Watsonian perspective is an exercise in foolishness. Because there is no Watsonian justification for the ship and never has been. Bryke simply conceived of Katara as nothing but a tropey prize for Aang, never saw her as anything beyond that, and were perfectly happy to go on and immortalize her as a passive broodmare for the rest of her life.

And I fully intend to die mad about it.

(-) Iroh dips

OK, it’s been long apparent that the show doesn’t intend to do anything about Iroh’s complicity in AzulOzai’s regime in any meaningful way, and that his sole motivation for doing anything whatsoever is Zuko whom he views as a replacement son which is supposed to be good for some reason. But the finale has him abandon even that, and instead turns him full-on YOLO, idgaf anymore. It really throws Iroh’s supposed love for Zuko into doubt when his last act in the entire show is to take a half-educated 16-year old with no political savvy or an heir to secure a dynastic continuity and plomp him on the throne of a war-mongering imperialist regime where the entirety of the militarist and ruling class is guaranteed to fight him tooth and nail for power.

(I sure hope Mai’s ready to start popping out babies by tea-time otherwise the whole country is fukd in about a week)

Christ, how hard would it be to have Iroh keep the throne warm for a few years while Zuko is getting ready to succeed him? Not only would it make the whole FN reformation bit quite likelier to occur, it would require Iroh’s hedonistic ass to actually sacrifice something for once. And not having Zuko ascend to power, instead spending some time bettering and educating himself first, would be a wonderful message that no matter what you endured and overcame, you never stop growing. A kids’ show, remember?

(-) The conquering of Ba Sing Se

Gee, I feel so blessed to have my attention diverted from battlefields which actually matter to an old dude vanity project I would have been perfectly happy to assume resolved itself off-screen.

The White Lotus in general just bugs me. I was fine with the individual characters and their overall passivity when they were portrayed as lone dissenters living under circumstances where it wasn’t really possible for any single person to mount a meaningful resistance. But as members of a far-reaching shadowy organization that’s left the real fight to a bunch of kids for 59 episodes straight and didn’t turn up until a perfect opportunity presented itself to take control of the largest city in the world and bask in the spotlight?

Yeah, no.

Similarly to the lionturtle-ex-machina, the White Lotus represents a huge missed opportunity for a season-long storytelling. Here’s just a brief list of what they could have been doing throughout Book 3:

orchestrating a Fire Nation uprising;

gathering those directly persecuted by AzulOzai’s regime to help Zuko keep his hold on power once he’s crowned;

establishing themselves as a viable alternative to Ozai;

sabotaging Fire Nation’s war efforts from the inside;

countering Fire Nation propaganda (Asha Greyjoy’s pinecones, anyone?);

running a supply network to alleviate the suffering of Earth Kingdom citizens.

Instead, they sit on their asses until the time comes to claim personal glory.

You know what, good on Bryke for making me conclude that in comparison, the Freedom Fighters were perfectly unproblematic, actually.

(-) Fire Lord Dead-by-Dawn

Yes, a kids’ show, I know! But ffs, this is the same kids’ show that came up with Long Feng and portrayed courtly intrigue, kingly puppets, secret police, spy networks, and information wars. Was it really too much of me to expect something other than “enlightened despot solves everything”? Especially if said enlightened despot has persisting anger issues, no personal support system, no base of followers, and no political experience whatsoever?

If Zuko’s actually serious about regaining the Fire Nation’s honor (i.e. by dismantling the country’s military machine, decolonizing the Earth Kingdom, paying reparations to everyone and their lemur, and funding any and all cultural restoration projects Aang and the SWT come up with), then there is no way, no way in the universe that he doesn’t face a civil war, deposing, and execution within a month.

One reason why his future as a Fire Lord seems rather bleak is that little’s been shown about the actual subjects of AzulOzai’s regime. While we get a vague reassurance that “no Toph, they’re not born bad” (le shockings), they largely remain a voiceless uniform mass of brainwashed clapping seals. What is their view on the Fire Nation’s crimes? Do they associate their condition with their country’s war-mongering? How will they react when Zuko starts dismantling the country piece by piece to rebuild it, bringing it to economic ruin? What will they do when noble Ozai loyalists come out of the woodwork and begin rounding them up under the banner of “Make the Fire Nation Great Again?”

I have no idea, and Zuko doesn’t either because he’s unironically more qualified to rule the Earth Kingdom than his own people.

You know what would have been better? Fire Lord Iroh, White Lotus pulling the strings to maintain the regime, and Crown Prince/People’s Champion Zuko travelling the Fire Nation with Aang and an army of tutors to promote the new boss, only to realize that absolute monarchy is kinda crap for the people he’s one day supposed to rule and gaining their support by ceding some power to them.

I’d laser holes into my TV due to how much I’d enjoy watching that.

(-) All hail Avatar Rock

Literally and metaphorically. Aang doesn’t sacrifice anything, gets everything, and the clever solution of going about getting said everything is handed to him on a silver platter, requiring no active participation on his part whatsoever.

He doesn’t work to unblock his chakras, spiritually or physically.

He only speaks to his past lives to get a pat on the back and a bow-tied solution he could mindlessly follow.

Energy-bending doesn’t require any sacrifice from him, leaves no lasting marks, and only serves for the narrative to praise him as the rare individual that’s unbendable and thus so very very special.

The most infuriating thing is, however, that Aang is clearly shown as being able to beat Ozai without either the Avatar state, or energy-bending.

And he chooses not to. From this moment on, Aang no longer fights to save the world. He fights to preserve his beliefs, going directly against the instructions of his past lives and effectively reneging on his duties as the Avatar.

Again.

It’s not like you can’t portray Aang’s faithfulness to his spiritual beliefs as the key to beating Ozai and saving the world. But that’s not what the show did. There is no link between Aang sparing Ozai and securing a better future, quite to the contrary—Ozai’s survival ends up being a massive problem for the continuation of Zuko’s rule, and consequently a threat to the world at large. His survival benefits Aang and no one else.

Aang’s spiritual purity and his status as a savior of the world are allowed to coexist only due to a deliberate stroke of a writer’s pen.

And I hate it.

Welp, nothing to do about it now except to bury myself up to my tits in fix-it fics I guess.

#atla #atla rewatch #meta #zutara #anti bryke #anti-kataang #anti-aang #anti-maiko

[kiingocreative]

The Structure of Story is now available! Check it out on Amazon, via the link in our bio, or at https://kiingo.co/book

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I recently discovered the work of couples therapist Esther Perel, and I’ve been fascinated by her work on erotic intelligence. In her book Mating in Captivity, she proposes that what kills desire and eroticism within a couple is proximity and familiarity. From there, she argues, it goes that instilling a dimension of distance and mystery in a relationship is the best way to reignite the flame of desire. By doing so, we learn to look at our partner in a different light, we discover new sides of them and all that unknown sparks attraction again.

This got me thinking…

I’ve been working on my second novel, The Dhawan Brothers, for a little over a year now, and it feels to me that my relationship to my manuscript has evolved over that time. From intrigue and mystique working on the initial drafts, to excitement and enthusiasm polishing and editing later versions to, slowly but surely, a sort of ‘been there, done that’ attitude that makes me prone to procrastination. I’m at a stage now where little in the story will change, or at least not dramatically. I know the characters and the plot, and I love them dearly,but they just don’t make me feel those same stomach flutters I had in the beginning.

And so I wonder…

Could our relationship with our writing be affected by proximity and familiarity the way desire is in our human relationships? Is it that, the moment we get too close, when we know everything there is to know about the other entity, it loses some of its appeal?

If that’s the case, is the key to making sure we remain excited about our writing diligentlycreating distance from it every once and a while?

To Take a Break or Not to Take a Break?

In a highly unofficial poll I ran in my Instagram storiesrecently, I asked the writing community about their experience. 94% of respondents said that, in general, they find it useful to take a break from their WIP. Whether it’s because ‘sometimes you just have to recharge’, because it’s ‘like refreshing your mind to be able to focus better’ when you get back to it, or because it ‘helps your brain work out problems behind the scenes’, writers seem to think a little distance goes a long way.

I was intrigued by the manyresponses that indicated taking some time off their WIP gives writers a chance to get back to it ‘with fresh eyes’. By stepping away from our work, we gain the perspective needed to look at it again from a different angle or through a different lens. That time and space away from our manuscript spark new ways of looking at our stories that we might have been too close to see before. We meet it again under different circumstances and in a different mindset, and it helps us rediscover it entirely. This, in turns peaksour interest and eagerness again.

Too Close for Comfort

But then… Isn’t that exactly what Perel’s theory is? That proximity and familiarity lessen desire in a relationship, whilst distance, mystery and fresh perspectives reignite it? When it comes to a writer’s relationship with their work, it feels to me like an interesting similarity.

In that same unofficial Instagram poll, when asked if there tends to be a stage at which they lose interest in their WIP or find themselves procrastinating, 75% of respondents said that’s indeed the case. The additional answers people gave as to when that happens were incredibly varied, for instance:

‘It depends if the passion for the project stays strong’

‘During the first draft’

‘In the middle’

‘In the editing process probably around the fifth or sixth draft’

‘This happens a lot because of self doubt. I struggle with it in all my life’

‘When things are not going the way I want them to’

‘There’s no particular stage, it just ebbs and flows. But I always come back to it’

‘It depends on the book’

There were as many distinctive responses as there were respondents. When I think of my own experience, I find my interest in my own work flaking right about the time the manuscript is polished. That moment where what’s mostly left to fix are stray typos and minor details, but the core of the story is there to stay. That’s the stage where there’s nothing in the writing process that’ll take me by surprise.

When I think of it, that’s exactly how I view and react to everything,in my relationships and in life in general. I like variety, and excitement, and adventure. The moment I get too familiar with anything, my attention starts to stray, until and unless I can find a way to make that situation or relationship appealing again.

Writing as a Relationship… With Ourselves?

I tend to believe that what we write says a lot about who we are as writers. I’m now also tempted to think that how we write says almost as much about us.

What if our relationship to our writing revealed what turns us on as people? And what tells us more about a person than their inner desires?

Yes, there seems to be a trend amongst the people I’ve heard from, in that most writers find distance from their work to be beneficial, and a large portion see their levels of interest in their WIP dwindle at some point or other. When and how and why, however, varies.

If there are as many ways for it to manifest as there are writers out there, I wonder if this becomes less about a relationship with our craft as it is about ourrelationship with our inner selves. A situation where observing how we treat our writing is like holding a mirror back at ourselves, reflecting our approach to any other of our relationships — and life — in general?

Know Thyself

In her book, Perel explains that exploring and understanding your own underlying desires sheds a great deal of light on how you’ll show up in your relationships, what will make you do the things you do, and what might cause you to stray. That sometimes your actions say less about the other person, or the situation, than they do about which of your buttons are getting pushed.

I think looking at how we deal with our writing follows the same logic.

So, if you’re like me, someone who craves new experiences and mystery and excitement, you may find yourself bored when things stabilise and all that’s left is maintenance and housekeeping. On the other hand, if you’re someone who thrives on stability and certainty, you may find the first draft excruciating, but the later stages more enjoyable.

And Then What?

What does that even matter, you might say? Just like any relationship, writing’s a journey and there are bound to be ups and downs we all need to navigate. Right?

Right. But I’d argue knowledge is power. Knowing how desire works, in any form of relationship — with others, with writing, with yourself — helps you understand that, not only there will be ups and downs, but also what specifically triggers your own ups and your own downs, and why. And that, in turn, can greatly help you smooth out those otherwise dizzying curves. If you know your buttons, you don’t have to let them control you. You can take charge.

The writing journey can be fraught with surprises and pitfalls, and every little helps. Understanding how your approach to your writing reflects your own inner tendencies can help you predict when an up or a down isabout to start. With some introspection, you can better prepare for these, capitalise on the highs and give yourself some kindness on — or even minimise — the lows.

If it can help make the journey that little bit easier, isn’t it worth a try?

#writingtips #screenwriting #creative writing #writers on tumblr #writers #writing #writerblr #writing advice #writing community #writing resources