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teamdoubleoh · 4 years

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00Q - WTNV AU

wordcount: 5205

“Hello listeners. Before I begin today’s program I have been asked by John Peters, you know, the farmer, to inform the public that the imaginary corn harvest will be delayed by two weeks this season, due to unforeseen showers of our ancestors tears and jell-o just outside city limits. You know what that means: No imaginary-corn-juice until September.

Regarding the sky: I should mention that it will be bright green tonight so keep your curtains shut and avoid late night walks.

I repeat: D̵͍̟̭͖̑͆̇͊͘ô̶̞̌͋̒̃ ̶̥̖̅͌̀͘ǹ̵̦̓́͝ỏ̸̲̋ṯ̷̗̽ ̴̱̣͖̪̐ḡ̶͔̫̤o̵͇̿̇̉̌ ̵͙̗͎̈́̈́͗̏o̷̤̳͍͉͐̽̌͊ṵ̸̟͂̍t̸͇̞̠̜̻͝ş̴̤̯̿͊̈́̉i̷̞̝̾̈͋͌̀d̵͈̥͆͆͝͠e̸̖̾.̵̥̳͉̌͜ ̴̧̖̯̪͖̊̊̋͘̚U̷̬̰̙͛́̔̌ṇ̸̣̆̔̑d̷̗̥́̑e̵̛͚͔̘̖̿̌̏̕r̶̬̦̒͆ ̶̯͖̰̦̏̒̎̂̕ņ̸͎̺̻͐͆ô̸̢͉̥̠̳̈́̑̈̓ ̸̞͔̀c̷̙̹̺̝̭̎̈́̇i̴̮̜̜͖̎͘͜r̷̦͙͚̙̹̀̂̐c̶̨̧̤̣̮̆͗̎̋u̷̧̧͇̯͐́͒̆͋m̶̟͈͍͖͐͂s̵̖̦͑̍͂͝ț̵̋͌̕ȃ̵̱͈̽͒͠n̵̗͔̼̫͉͑̈͐͠c̸͕̋̽͌̈́̌e̷͇̥̤̍̐̉͠s̷̝̦̍͌̿̓͝ ̸̢̗͇̫̟̈́̀a̷̱͗͠r̵̡̤͚̙̆͐͝ë̴̮̜̭́̓͗͠͝ ̴̡̜̀̄͜y̷̬͈̮̮͋ơ̶͖̮ư̸̫̮̌̈́ͅ ̶͇̈t̸̤͉̹̜̺͆͋o̵̗͒̐́ ̵̡̜̤̼̼̃͌̄̈́̒l̸̰͎̺̻̾͗͆̉õ̷̖o̷̞̞̝͔̿͑͛͜k̴̳̗̼͕̫̃̕ ̸͓̘͔̦̼͋̈̔͘à̸̫̳͈͔̝̀͐̑t̵̡̛̤͓͎̥̐̏͆̃ ̶̛̫̩̤̠̤̈̿̍t̵̮̘̳̳͔͐̎͘̚ḫ̷̡̧̢̛̝̋͠͝e̸̦͔̲̟̿͂̚̕ ̸̪̜̩̎̐̍͂ş̵̀̓̈́̚͝k̴̤̼͎̠̄͒̀̈́͠y̴̢̫̓̒ ̷̹̫̆̓̽͒͒t̴̨̢̺͗ö̸̮̺́͝ń̴̤̀i̴̢̋͋̈́̚͜͝ĝ̸͕̊h̴̹̩̅͠ͅt̷͙͈̞̞͑͜.̸͙́́͐ .

The sky will regain its normal colour by 9am, just in time to go to bed. Tomorrow night it will temporarily be violet, just as scheduled for the second Saturday of August.

On local news: A stranger came into town tonight. They tell me he stopped by old woman Josie’s house to ask for directions, but she sent him away because he kept staring impolitely at the Angels which are not permanent residents in old woman Josie’s house. In fact they do not exist. And they lie.

To return to our stranger: He was fine.

No one who wears a bespoke suit like him is ever truly lost. It hasn’t got anything to do with the suit, only with the road map that was firmly lodged between his third to fifth rib and a shoulder holster under the suit. Our stranger is also nervous, or so they tell me. He wonders how I know, and he wonders who "they" are and why I am referring to him in this very moment, on the radio.

If I was insensible I would mention more things about him like how he likes Vodka Martinis and has developed a strong dislike of Venice and how he he can’t follow orders or rules or his heart.

Luckily I am not insensible.

Well, strangers are rare in Nightvale. The last time someone came to us from somewhere else I don't even remember. Dear listeners, I know what you're asking: What does he want from us? Why has he come? What is the last digit of π?

As it is my duty as a radio host, I will provide you with answers:

The last digit of π is a real number between 0 and 9.

The Stranger wants nothing from us. He was sent by someone who wants someone else and someone else is here, in our lovely little town.

So, he has come to find someone; maybe we could tell the stranger where he, who he is looking for, is but you know the rules. If you see something, say nothing. The sheriff's secret police has already gotten rid of any potential threat. The rules say so.

Our stranger can’t follow rules. He remembers his mission. He remembers that he has a mission, he even remembers why has one.

Another secret about our stranger: He is a spy. That also is the reason why he has a mission, and the mission is finding the special someone. Our stranger doesn't know the name of his someone but he knows others call him Quartermaster. He doesn't know how to find his someone.

Dear listeners. There is a stranger in Nightvale, who is looking for someone who is a stranger to him, but not us. He is a spy but others call him agent; He fears the waters of Venice, can't follow rules and his name is Bond. James Bond.

Just this evening I was out near the forbidden dog park at the corner of “Earl” and “Summer-set” near the “Ralph’s” when I met him. He still wore the same bespoke suit which was a bit crumpled after the many hours spent behind the wheel of his car.

On unrelated news: The Agent drives a silver DB5 Aston Martin with a pumpkin shaped coffee stain on the drivers seat, or so I’m told.

The Agent, James Bond, sat on a bench outside the dog park because the dog park was closed. The dog park was closed because it was Friday after 5pm and because it it closed every day.

He sat in that particular spot because he was instructed to. He doesn't know by whom exactly, but it says so in his mission file, so he has to sit here on this Friday afternoon and wait. According to his instructions the Quartermaster is supposed to meet him here but there is no Quartermaster, just an Agent alone on a bench.

I felt a little bad for him, and also a little weak on my feet because my left knee had just acted up again, so I sat next to him.

He didn’t say anything.

I said:" How do you like the dog park?"

He pointed towards the sign with the rules for the park and said:" Pretty pointless, If you ask me." I had asked him, so I didn't say anything further and he said:" Excuse me," and was gone.

Not instantly of course, he just walked at a fairly quick pace.

Honestly, I find it quite frankly astounding that the Agent drove all the way out here, only to sit on a bench to talk to someone but when someone showed up, he won’t even discuss dog parks without dogs or the inevitability of passing time.

Well.

Our sponsor today is the East India Company. Have you always wanted your own east India? Now you can have it for the low cost of a lifetime of conquest. West Indias are currently out of stock and not as cool as east Indias anyways. Get your own province today at [email protected].

I am distressed to announce that, due to unforeseen circumstances, the bowling-alley-arcade-fun complex will be closed until further notice. The Nightvale bowling team will instead train at the waterfront and harbour recreation area, which is also currently closed to the wider public. Sadly this means all bowling pins have to be exchanged for a volleyball net and the bowling balls for a beach volleyball.

Further more there are news from the station.

In the mens bathroom a cat has appeared. It does not seem to want to leave, or at least has made no attempt to, but maybe that has something to do with the local shift in gravity in there. The cat is currently living on the wall opposite the door, where she appears to be able to stick straight to the tiles. Well, you know how local gravitational faults are. But honestly, I don't have the time to call someone to fix it and none of the interns have been here at the station since this morning, so I guess we have a cat now.

In further station news I will now read the outcome of the vote my interns and I took over the course of yesterday’s lunch break. The vote was on wether or not I am to refer to them as "minions" in the future.

Alright, let’s see: Not In favour of the new title of "minion" are: ...Hm. Only me.

In favour of the new title of "minion" are: Minions Number 1, Number 2, Number 3, Number 4, Number 5, Number ... well. I assume you can already see where this is going.

I’ll check in on station management on any new developments in town. So now I present to you... the weather.”

(Mortal Man by Jeremy Loops)

“Welcome back listeners!

Station management wants to remind every one that words aren't silver. words are vibrations. Silence is golden. Thought is magic. From this we can conclude that Paul Watzlawick was wrong.

I am also to inform you that there has been an accident just outside dark owl records. No cars were involved, nor any other vehicles or pedestrians. Just the crashing of two squalls of hot dry desert air that didn't see each other coming.

There were no casualties.

To avoid future incidents remember to honk if you exist.

City council would like to thank the citizens of Nightvale that didn't come to get any documents approved this past week, as it has been very stressful and there were enough people present already. Anyone who wants to drop off any paperwork to get it signed is deeply unwelcome. If you still want to visit city hall today, be reminded that the first and second floor have been temporarily moved to the basement. Be also reminded that the basement is off limits to non-employes.

There are news on the agent. During break I went to visit him on his bench. I suppose it would be unprofessional of me to point out that he is good looking so I won’t. I pointed out some of the hooded figures in the dog park and he quickly shushed me. Apparently he has finally decided to read the rules for the dog park, although he appears to have missed the fine script.

He then kept looking at me strangely and asked how I knew about him being an agent. He said he was just listening to me on the radio talking about it.

I said I didn't know he was an agent, they told me he was an agent. I also know agents, and they are all very similar. None of them like to bring back the equipment in one piece, or follow the rules, or black forest cake.

He seemed very taken aback by that. He asked how I knew any agents at all. It was really rather amusing, but of course I told him. I said I know agents because it's my equipment they break. and my rules they won't follow, although there only is one: Always return the equipment in one piece.

He asked if I worked for the government and wether I was allowed to tell him all this. My break was over so I didn't have time to answer him but he is listening to the radio right now, so: I don’t work for the government, there is no such thing. And why wouldn't I be allowed to tell you this? It’s not like it is a secret like sheriff Sam’s secret police. Strangers are so strange... Anyway.

Minion number 1 Is gesturing wildly at her copy of tonights script from outside the booth. I wonder what she could be trying to tell me.

Well.

Next up is traffic.

Do you know how to swim? Have you ever swam in a lake or river or the ocean? If you have, you know the creeping dawning that below you there is nothing for a few feet. Or miles. So much space between you and the earth. But it does not matter because the water protects you from your inevitable death. Lucky you. If you have put you head under water in the ocean and opened your eyes to see nothing but a vast emptiness you know what it it is like in space. You look around and maybe, if you're lucky you’ll spot a fish or two and can find relief in the knowledge that you are not alone in this strange inner outer space. If you don’t spot a fish or two you will soon feel the sinking fear of realisation that you are still not alone. You won't ever be. But it is so, so silent. There really isn't anything there you can see. You're lucky you can actually see that you're alone otherwise you would be so so afraid in this moment of realisation. If your head was above the surface right now you wouldn't see a thing below you because the suns reflection would hide it. Or maybe there wouldn't be anything to hide. Maybe you really are alone. You are so lucky you are below the surface and can actually see what is there and what isn't. So lucky you don’t need to go back up there, where the air is. You don’t need air. You need to keep watch. You should go swim in the ocean.

And now a public service announcement.

The nightvale scientific community calls for volunteers. Volunteers are required to be born no later than tomorrow morning and are not allowed to be dead yet. If you are already dead please leave a note, ore reapply at an earlier date. The volunteers which fit these requirements are asked to come to the station tomorrow morning at 9pm. We are aware this is well into the “personal free time” following the average nine-to-five job but we ask you to show up anyways. Scientists work best during sleeping hours. The scientific community also reminds you that we have a new experiment running, so if you spot any orbs around town, do no question them. D̵̺̪͗̈ọ̸̖̗͓̘̇̽͐ ̶̹̦̠͔͒ͅn̷̠͊̔̀͋ŏ̶̢̯̓̋̉͜t̴̡̺̹̾̀́̕ ̷͇͔͇̈́q̶̥͈̋́̄ụ̸͔̐̇̄͆ē̶̬̈́͑̂̈s̵̺̑́ț̶̮̻̭̪͌͝ị̶̪͓͐͝ö̵͓́͊̑n̴̗̳̤̑͐ ̵̖̑́t̸̨̡̢̛̝͉̉͝h̶̩̓ẽ̴̹̳̄̾͗ ̶̣͔͎̬̍̎̀̌ő̶̫̈́̀̌̽r̵̜̮̙͎̰͊̉̊̕̚b̵̘͍̖̽͜͜s.̷͖͈̗͉̅̃̓̊̈́

This was a public service announcement.

My friend Eve who currently works under station management wants me to remind everyone with blond hair that doors are for people with no imagination. She also wants me to remind everyone with any other hair colour that doors are for people with no imagination. Bald people are exempt from this rule for obvious reasons.

Next up are horoscopes.

People that are born under Aquarius should remember to text someone. Who?Oh you know.

People who have the same star sign as Moneypenny are reminded that we value them as a friend and that they deserve the world and a muffin.

People born under the same star sign as Minion 3 should know that their cooking skills could still be improved. Not by a lot though. Your cooking is wonderful.

People under the same star sign as Q - oh thats me, what a coincidence - should remember to announce something important to their community, such as the dangers of the world or the fact that big rico's is having a sale right now.

People with the same star sign as the Agent, James Bond, should know that their goals are in closer proximity than they might think and that volunteer work is a way to enrich the community as well as the heart.

Thats it for todays horoscopes.

In unrelated news a quick personal statement. It’s a cruel world. .

Also: big rico’s pizza is having their monthly midnight snack sale.

That’s it for tonight. Stay tuned for the sound of our new station pet walking up and down the restroom’s tiled wall.”

***

On a bench not too far away sat a stranger. He was an Agent and his name was James Bond. Slowly he turned down the volume of his portable radio and inhaled deeply. Tomorrow he would be at the station at 9am sharp, as a volunteer to nightvale’s scientific community.

If he could find this quartermaster anywhere it would be there, he was sure of it. Then he could get out of this weird little town where the radio host knew everything about him. Though when he looked at it that way, the quartermaster could probably know everything about him too, if he wanted to. Not that James had met the quartermaster, but this was the 21st century. With the right skills anyone could find out anything and everyone could turn out to be someone else. He would have to wait for tomorrow.

XXX

"Hello listeners!

Today I am happy to announce that we will be witness to some Experiment down at Q branch, located in the stations cellars. As I am nightvales only radio show host, I was asked to describe the proceeding of todays displays to our younger listeners.

As it is nearly 9 am the volunteers have already arrived. I am correctly standing amidst them, waiting to get into the stations cellar where the headquarter of the nightvale scientific community is located. The volunteers who are standing with me here today are Minion 2, Minion 5 and Minion 4 as well as the Agent, James Bond.

Seems like everyone else wants to spend time with their loved ones instead of a cellar, weird.

Anyways. They tell me the agent has come in the hope that the quartermaster will be present today, which is a shame because I know for a fact that he isn't currently in the cellar.

Oh. The Agent, James Bond, has joined me over here by the door. It appears he has heard what I said. He’s saying something, wait let me turn down the back feed first.

He says: “How do you know the Quartermaster is not in there?”

Well, I have to admit, it would just be plain sad if I didn't. The minions are snickering. James Bond has now turned to Minion 5 to ask them why they think this is funny. 5 replies with “because it is”. Well I can’t say I disagree. Now Bond seems a little agitated. He turns back to me. He's asking if I know the Quartermaster. Of course I do. He is asking what I mean with “Of course”.

Well dear listener, this seems like the perfect time to quote Lao Tse. “He who knows others is wise, he who knows himself is enlightened.”

I feel like this is also the perfect time to tell James that I am Head of Q branch, the nightvale scientific community, which means that I definitely should be wise, or at the very least very, very smart.

He seems to take this information well, which is good, especially when we take into consideration that the agent could probably kill me with his right hand tied behind his back. Or so I'm told.

Now the agent looks exasperated. He asks me who they are. I think I showed you just yesterday, James. Honestly, pay a little attention. May I call you James?

He says I may, If I tell him what my name is.

Ah, good one Agent. I can’t tell you that. Anyways, Minion 4 is signing me that it’s time to start the experiment.

She's right dear listeners! I’m kind of busy holding my broadcasting equipment. Number 2, would you be so kind and take the key out of my left pocket? Ah thanks. Alright Listeners, we’re heading inside.

For those of you who haven't been down in Q branch before, which, to be frank, should be all of you, let me quickly describe it.

Imagine a cellar. The ceiling is held up by brick pillars. Imagine desks and computers and loads of scientific equipment with weird names no-one but a scientist could ever hope pronouncing correctly between the pillars. Also some of the walls are painted in a lovely off-white and navy blue combination.

Minions 2, 4 and 5 as well as James Bond and myself are currently in the quarter of the room which seems the most cluttered and is closest to the door. of course it only seems the most cluttered because it is. That’s because we’re currently in the area designated for engineering, and for some reason we never come around to cleaning up. Mostly because we don't want to.

To our left is the quarter designated for chemistry and, by default, toxicology. Do not ever, under any circumstances consume anything in the close vicinity.

Greetings go out to Minion 9, who is currently in intensive care at nightvale’s public hospital.

To our right is our testing area. Since a not necessarily small part of the equipment we manufacture is meant to blow up at some point, we have a secluded this area with bags of sand to keep the debris away from the more fragile things down here. Finally, at the opposite end of the room is the designated area for data processing.

Bond is now strolling towards the desk in the middle and is looking at the laptop on top of it. Maybe I should stop him. Well. He has opened the laptop. he seems to be confused. Wait a second listeners, I have to go get my computer back.

Bond is looking at me. He’s asking who the laptop belongs to. Well, I did jut say it belongs to me didn’t I.

He seems disappointed. He’s asking if I could just tell him where the quartermaster is. I mean I could, but why would I? The quartermaster came here to get away from the government.

James is asking me how I know the quartermaster, if I’m working with agents. If the quartermaster doesn't trust the government, why does he trust agents?

Dear listeners, If I remember correctly I told James only yesterday the government wasn't real. It seems he doesn't believe me. Oh well.

He’s still waiting for an answer. He’s staring at me, this is why I avoid human interaction. He has these weird blue eyes. And he only has two eyes too. all of my minions, except Number 3 have more than two eyes, though I don’t know why. Number 3 has two eyes but he's blind. I have two eyes too, but I have access to at least a few dozen at any given time so I don't really count. He's still staring. This is weird. How do I tell someone I don't want to tell them. Ah he's groaning. Right, he can hear me. I am so not used to talking to people face to face.

Anyway. Time to start the experiment!

All volunteers are placed over by the chemistry slash toxicology area. None of them know what the experiment is, which is entirely their fault. minions 2, 4 and 5 were actually hand picked by me because they never listen when I tell them important stuff, like:" If you're listening right now, you can go home early tonight".

Now number 2 and 5 are looking at me grumpily while 4 is signing "ha ha.” Sorry 4, I needed at least three Minions.

Alright listeners, today were testing a new defence system which I have installed in some of our most commonly used artillery.

As I've mentioned before, agents rarely ever bring back the equipment we build for them, which is a shame because most of it are prototypes.

James is frowning at me, like he always brings back his equipment. I happen to know he didn’t return a single thing from his past four missions. Now he’s frowning even more. Hm.

The system we’re testing today is a feature designed to improve the shooting ability of the agent the gun was designated to, and only them.

If you'll remember I mentioned our new palm print encoded hand gun in last weeks fun facts children's science corner, right between a brief explanation on the planets of our solar system and the sociology of blue whales.

While the guns we are testing today aren’t equipped with the encoded palm print, they have been upgraded with the feature that allows the agents to hit more precise. Since only only one of the minions present today is proficient in shooting guns of this category, we will compare the aim of Minion 5 and James with Minion 2 and Minion 4, who usually work in chemistry and are thus more proficient in hand to hand combat and poetry.

I will now give each volunteer an upgraded Walther P99. They will shoot the target until the clip runs out. Then we will count the missed shots and put the results in the protocol. Remember kids: The difference between screwing around and science is writing stuff down. Then we will repeat the sequence, take a quick break and then repeat the sequence again to erase any errors that might occur in the system. Until the experiment is finished I will be off the air to spare you the noise. Alright Minions and James, you heard me. Go."

***

James aimed, exhaled and pulled the trigger. Perfect hit. He aimed and shot again until there were no bullets left. All perfect hits. He reloaded his handgun, an action he could, evidently, do in his sleep. He raised his gun again and emptied the clip into his human shaped target, which was now missing a good chunk of paper brain and heart.

"Nicely done" someone said behind him. The radio host slash scientist had sneaked up on him, presumably during the gunfire, otherwise Bond would have heard him. Or at least he was pretty sure he would have. James put down the weapon on a nearby desk. "Thanks. It comes with the job"

He meant it. He knew he didn’t actually do much good, though his actions usually had consequences that were better than those that would have occurred if he hadn’t intervened. He was still good at what he did.

The radio host put his head to one side "I imagined it would. Would you mind and stop calling me radio host in your head? It’s really quite irritating."

James chocked on air. "You can read my mind?"

The radio host laugh was quite beautiful and James couldn't stop himself from thinking that, if he hadn't sworn off romance after Vesper, he'd have given the radio host a shot, albeit still not know his name. He then immediately shunned himself, feeling childish for his sudden affection for a man he barely knew.

The radio host had recovered from his outburst. "Although I technically could read you mind, because I work with the secret police, I can’t right now. I don’t need to, to know what you have dubbed me. I’m good at reading people. It’s one of the few useful things I learned from my brothers. But to get back to your original question; you may call me Q. Just please stop with the “radio host”."

James smiled one of his rare smiles and lowered his head in a mock bow. "Alright then Q, pleased to make your acquaintance." Q nodded dignified and answered lightly:" You as well James Bond." "Now that we’re no longer strangers may I ask you some questions Q, or am I being too forward?" Q rolled his eyes:"Of course. You may ask me anything you'd like"

"And would you answer me if I asked?"

Q smiled at him cheekily. "Not necessarily. But you can certainly try."

"Thats more than I expected, so I won't complain."

"How very generous of you."Q answered deadpan.

The corner of James mouth twitched. "May I invite you for a late dinner, then? That’ll give me more time to ask questions you won’t have to answer."

"Fine. I'll find you. Now, get back to shooting, break is over and you still have one more sequence to complete." James only smiled and went to pick up his gun.

***

In the end James decided to go to “big Rico’s pizza”for dinner. He wasn't actually hungry and he didn't know any restaurants in the area anyways. Also this was the one the radio host - Q - had mentioned on the radio. He chose a table close to the door, but not by the window - a habit he didn’t hope to break anytime soon - and ordered a soda.

Ten minuted later the bell above the door rang and Q came in, carrying a suitcase that looked like it came straight out of a movie set in the 1920's.

James expression just have mirrored his thoughts, because as soon as Q sat down he began smiling again. He had a very pretty smile. "The suitcase is actually not that old James. I bought it just a few months back."

"I would have thought they stopped making those after World War 2."

Q’s smile turned mischievous. "Oh absolutely. But you know what they say - Time is relative." "Of course it is" James muttered and took a sip from his large Coca Cola. At this point he was very sure that nothing could startle him anymore.

Q’s expression grew serious. "No, really. There's a black hole just below the market place in the abandoned tunnels, so time there is passing much slower."

James shrugged. Honestly, what had he expected. "So, why do you carry a suitcase around?"

"To keep my stuff in it. Well I say stuff. it's actually just a teleporter to Q-branch, so I carry it around in case I need to go back." Q answered lightly.

"There's a mobile teleport station in your suitcase, which you bought a few months back but also in 1920. "

"Yes. Although when you phrase it like that it does sound rather absurd."Q mused. "But I believe you had a few questions?"

"You have no idea" James answered honestly, still eyeing the suitcase. A few didn’t even remotely cut it. "You know I’m an Agent, you know I’m looking for the Quartermaster and you know the Quartermaster."

Q nodded thrice. "And your question is?"

"How?"

"I told you I had agents didn’t I? I even showed you."

James cocked an eyebrow in question "Your minions?"

"They’re my interns. The hooded figures, you know, from the dog park work as my agents. And some Erikas, when they feel like it."

James frowned.

"You know. The angels which don’t exist?"

"I thought no one is to refer to the angels, or hooded figures for that matter. It said so on the sign. "

"Of course," Q smirked "but it also says in very fine script just underneath that that government officials are exempt from that rule."

"You do work for the government then?"

"Of course not, I told you the government didn't actually exist. I am the government. Although it took me a whole three weeks to eradicate the existing government without anyone noticing" "And you’re the head of the scientific community? and the only radio host in town? It seems you are a busy man Q"

"Busy? Yes. Efficient? Also yes. Why do you think they want me back?"

"Who?"

"MI6 of course. I used to work for them but I'm currently taking a sabbatical. Well, I call it a sabbatical, they call it Missing."

"You know the Quartermaster from your work at 6 then?"

"Hm, I suppose you could say that." Q leaned forward and folded his hands under his chin "Tell me James. What do you want with the quartermaster?"

"As you've pointed out so cleverly on the radio I dont want anything from him. But I suppose MI6 might want their employee back."

Q leaned back again and began to rock back and forth on his chair’s hind legs. "I guess that’s a valid point. I never did resign properly after all," He mused.

"Q is short for Quartermaster then?"

"Of course. I told you I’d never tell you my name. I dont think anyone still uses it, except for Mummy of course...” he trailed of.

“I have to say, I had my suspicions Q”

“ Shall we go then? We can take some pizza if you'd like."

"I’m not actually hungry. I havn’t been hungry or tired or thirsty since I arrived."

"Ah yes, thats Nightvale for you, " Q said offhandedly. "Alright then. Let’s head to that car of yours. Wonderfull piece of machinery."

"Why, thank you Q"

"Especially the various extra features of course. There are quite a bit. Or so they tell me"

"You won't stop saying that in the near future, are you?" James asked with a smile on his lips.

"Not in a million lifetimes." Q chipped easily. "Now, James. I don’t think I've properly introduced myself. I'm your new Quartermaster."

#007 fest 2020 #team00 #00q #pre relationship #welcome to night vale #au #005.Vi

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reginacooks · 4 years

Text

Day 155-157

She began her harangue by exclaiming how great it is that I have a husband who helps with the dishes, yucking it up and calling us “virgins” because this was our first time camping on Assateague.

Later, when I told Billy that that was yet another thing that was odious about this woman, he agreed and said that he doesn’t find it hilarious, or funny, or even interesting that because he’s a man he does the dishes. “As if we’re still in the 1970s. That was my parents.” Sometimes I forget that people still think that tasks around the home are assigned genders.

We were standing in front of the communal campsite sink - two deep basins, side by side - and her comment about Billy doing the dishes was her way in to start touting her politics. I took this moment to hear what she had to say. I was genuinely curious. I was friendly, and when she started speaking disparagingly about Planned Parenthood, I smiled and said in a chipper voice, “I support Planned Parenthood,” and continued washing my dishes. But she didn’t want a conversation. “You know they sell baby parts, right? The bigger the baby, the more money they get.”

That’s when I decided to disengage and just keep washing my dishes.

I was surprised when Billy, standing behind me, took it up and said, “Ma’m, I don’t believe that’s true.”

“They wanted me to teach a sixth grader how to put on a condom. I’m not doin’ that! I work in a private school, so I’m a real teacher.”

She was like a minion from the White House, jumping from one topic to the next, talking about “socialized medicine.” And Billy, continuing to engage, said to her, “I was in the military, M’am, and we were recipients of socialized medicine. I didn’t pay a thing.”

And of course she thanked him for his service, because of course she supports the military, but forgets or won’t acknowledge that service men and women receive free health care. There were other comments about immigrants, about how her grandparents came from Greece, “but they worked hard and earned it.” As if she knows any immigrants now. If she did, she would know that they are some of the hardest workers in this country.

Later, on a walk around the campgrounds Billy said to me, “Our democracy hinges on women like her.”

I was so jazzed after watching the first two nights of the Democratic National Convention before going on our trip that I just was not thinking about people like her, vast swaths of ignorant people across this country who think as this woman does.

But Billy pointed out, there should be opposition. “If one hundred percent of the population voted for Biden, that would be a problem, too.” He reminded me that something like ninety-nine percent of the Romanian population voted for the dictator Ceausescu.

“Oh, I don’t like Trump,” this woman said, believing that was a good defense. “Then why are you voting for him?” I asked. “Because if I don’t, I’d be supporting creepy Joe.” As we packed up our dishes she said, “I love you guys!” As if saying that meant that she was having an “open conversation.” She started up with the virus, and as we started to walk away, through my masked face, I kept my tone light and said over my shoulder, “Wear a mask! Bye!”

So there it is. That’s what scares me. People say they don’t like Trump, as a way to believe they are disassociating from him and his amorality, but will vote for him anyway.

I allowed the ocean waves to wash over this conversation and just enjoy the beauty of our setting - the sun, blue skies, sand, so much natural beauty, no commercialism, no boardwalks or billboards or sandwich joints or bars or music or hordes of people. What saved us from the potential brutality of the sun was our fabulous, new beach tent and creek chairs. The ocean was as grand as I’d hoped it would be. We stayed sheltered in our tent - popping in and out of it - all day. The boys fought the crashing waves, I went back to our campsite, over the sand, to bring us lunch - tuna sandwiches on Killer Dave bread, cold plums from the cooler, chips, and molasses cookies, the outdoors enhancing the flavor of every bite - and we read and walked and swam and waded and were quiet, just soaking it up and listening to the waves.

I regret that I did not overcome my fear of diving into the swell of the wave, before it crashed. I just could not get past those breakers. I walked along the beach and watched adults and kids diving right into that swell, and envied that. I watched Billy, envious, enjoying that buoyancy. And I can swim! I used to do laps for exercise. The most comfortable I felt when I was pregnant was when I was in a pool. But standing on the edge of the ebb and flow and watching the cusp of the wave rise - I just couldn’t do it. I swam a little in the shallow bit, ducking my head under, and then popping back up before another wave came down. I got knocked down a few times. I laughed, I squealed, I loved the feel of water, the perfect temperature, the taste of the salt. But that rising wave, it terrified me.

I’m thinking about fear and what it takes to be courageous. I’m thinking about other times in my life when I’ve been afraid, but did it anyway, just as a reminder that yeah, there have been moments when I’ve been courageous. Learning how to ski for the first time on top of a mountain in Switzerland, and not sliding down on my butt. I conquered that! What else? Speaking my truth to people with whom I disagree. Being brave is not what other people are afraid of doing, and call you brave because they are afraid of doing it - traveling to other countries, for example - it’s what you yourself hesitate to do because there is a fear of being swallowed whole. That is truly how I felt in front of those waves.

Everyone has fears that they hold on to. Walking around our little campsite, past the many RVs with fullscreen TVs inside, I thought about how some people are afraid to embrace the great outdoors, the darkness, afraid to leave the comforts of their living room, so they take their living room with them when they go camping.

Maybe next time I go to the ocean I can bring my sister, Amiel, with me - she who is not afraid of the waves - and she can be my motivational speaker, telling me when to dive in. Or, I’ll stand next to Billy and hold his hand and we’ll dive in together. Because I do think conquering a fear is important, especially if it’s to allow your body to do what it’s aching to do, like get past the breakers and swim in the buoyancy. Ultimately, I guess that’s where we’d all like to be. Next time, I’ll tell myself to get out of that chickenshit space and go! It’s OK if I hold someone’s hand at the same time. But it needs to be my decision. I gotta get to the buoyancy. Alone, or with a friend. I’ve done it before and I can do it again.

Ahhhh. Morning coffee with sunrise

A Stephen King book, a cold plum, the ocean...

Healthy and sunburnt

#conquering fear #camping #assateague island #atlantic ocean #beach camping

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quakerjoe · 4 years

Text

I’ll vote Biden, but I’m pretty sure that Trumpnuts is going to win.

A Cuppa Joe for Wednesday 19 August 2020

When trumplefuckstick mobilized federal troops to escalate protests into riots and began kidnapping protesters, that was the moment where I gave in and decided I'd vote for Biden. Despite being a #SayNoToJoe type and all the bullshit that's gone on under trumpnuts, we're here.

I'm pissed that the feckless Dems (Diet GOP) have literally forced us to have to heat this 1/2 a shit sandwich in Biden, but here we are being FORCED to fight Fascism with corporate plutocracy and oligarchy. Biden won't change shit. At best, we get a brief respite with brakes on.

ASSUMING Biden wins (which I doubt he will) we'll be like a car in the middle of a major highway at a full stop. While the rest of the world CONTINUES to pass us by & leave us in the dust while we jerk off to our pride & yesterdays hits on the radio we'll at least get to breathe.

The Dems BRILLIANT strategy of shafting the entire left wing of the party in order to PANDER to the GOP Old Guard to win votes & keep their own corporate cash secure has done nothing to unify the nation, let alone convince anyone that Dems aren't shills for being paid to lose.

The nation has LOST THE REPUBLIC.

The Left has lost their party and have NO REPRESENTATION.

By GLOBAL STANDARDS, Sanders was the MODERATE. Anyone even slightly right of him is RIGHT WING (GOP). The problem is we're an isolated nation news-wise; no better than N. Korea.

Most of us realize that NEITHER party or candidate is coming to save us, the nation, or the world. We KNOW IT. While I'll be voting AGAINST TRUMP because I think it'll be easier to fight Dems for change than the GOP, I don't believe for an instant that Biden's going to win this.

As we saw in 2016 and since then, the Left may be kinder, more empathetic and more serious about making the US a better place for all, they're also weak, disorganized, and far too fucking polite resulting in spineless behavior against a party of racist fuckwits in the GOP.

Pelosi and her fellow fuckwits with their SOCIALIST lifestyle of getting paid well with GOV. HEALTHCARE can't seem to get that WE ALL WANT THAT & have the resources to do that. But no; overfund the military. Yay, Democrats. Thanks for that. Just say "fuck you, peasants" honestly.

When Dems have GOPers speaking at the CONvention instead of representatives on the ACTUAL LEFT they've made it plain that nothing's going to change. Biden even said he's not going to change anything & he'd even veto M4A if it crossed his desk. What the fuck do we NEED him for?

So that's it. Voter for Biden in order to stop trumplefuckstick and his minions. That's the appeal. Then what? Well, there's STILL that bit about securing BOTH houses of CONgress. For what? What will a Dem controlled House AND Senate actually DO? Fuck-all nothing. Stagnancy. Yay.

While you're all out here screaming about how awful trump is there's NO CAVALRY coming. There isn't one to begin with. Democrats have done NOTHING to rally and inspire a nation. NOTHING. They gin up a lot of lip service, just like in 2016 but I'm telling you all now- same result.

Polls mean fuck-all NOTHING. Getting jazzed about them is folly. How'd they work for us in 2016? They assured us HRC was a shoo-in. Uh-huh. Instead, 3 MILLION people were told to get fucked, their votes don't count.

NEITHER party wants to be rid of the Electoral College that fucks us every election.

NEITHER party wants to get rid of the Senate, where RI gets the same representation as CA and TX because what sort of bullshit is that, especially when some cunt like McConnell RUNS it solo?

NEITHER party is actually openly attacking & correcting gerrymandering.

NEITHER party is aggressively making voting better, easier & more efficient.

NEITHER is fighting for livable wages.

NEITHER is for clean energy.

NEITHER is for socialized medicine like the rest of EARTH.

"We the People" see that BUT there are two trains to get on at this station.

Trumpwits want to see this country burn to the ground with white folk standing on the ash heap in victory. They'll be voting in masses.

The "radical leftists" are disenfranchised and unrepresented.

I hope you all vote against fascism and get the most progressive downballot candidates you can into office. However, we DO KNOW that nothing's going to change. I don't foresee Biden winning this because of that.

The Dems have failed us all, but don't worry. They're geared up to blame YOU if Biden loses to trumplefuckstick.

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lovemesomerafael · 4 years

Text

Others Like Me Chapter 14: The Tower

Chapters 1 - 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13

Read It On AO3

“For what it’s worth, he’s genetically identical to our Barnes,” Bruce says. “He doesn’t scar any more than ours does, but there is evidence on the scans that he’s had some of the same injuries as our Barnes. And there’s also evidence that he’s been through something like what he describes with this Hydra.”

“Like what?” Clint asks.

“I haven’t spent much time on the arm itself, that’s Stark, but the way it’s attached? It’s a nightmare. That thing’s gotta hurt every minute. It looks like it’s been worked on, and it’s nice work. But there are some ways he’s healed that are just the best his body could do. It’s clear that it was originally attached very differently, crudely, with a lot of attention to making sure he could feel with the arm and hand, but almost no attention to the way the arm itself would feel to him.”

“Shit,” Natasha hisses.

They’re sitting around the large, oval table in the conference room, with the scans Bruce is describing hovering above the center. Tony has called this meeting to decide what the hell they’re supposed to do with Bucky. Marya is purposely not in the room, although she’s made it abundantly clear that she’s furious about that. Tony ended up having to make her nonattendance a direct order and require her to agree, in the presence of Jarvis, that she would not listen in. Now that they’d discovered her back door to the camera feed from the brig, it was the only way to ensure that she couldn’t sweet-talk or hack Jarvis into helping her again.

“It gets worse,” Bruce continues. “We all know the kinds of injuries Barnes has had. Lotta breaks, lotta organ damage, right?”

“I feel like I get stabbed more than is really fair, too,” Barnes muses.

“Well this guy, his scans make yours look pristine. Even with super healing, his body shows the marks of a hell of a life.”

“What are you saying, Banner?” Tony asks, scowling.

“I’m saying that his scans are telling the same story his mouth is. Everything physical we’ve looked at is consistent. Down to the permanent thickening of his skull where he says that ‘emptying’ machine attached. It looks just like Marya’s, only worse. Much worse.”

“I don’t think Marya needs to know that,” Natasha notes. Sam huffs disgustedly, but stays mute.

Tony lifts his chin from the hand it’s been resting on, two fingers splayed across his cheek in his characteristic ‘listening to things he doesn’t want to hear’ pose. “Anything else?”

“That’s about it.”

“Well, the arm’s interesting,” Tony says. “It’s Stark tech, for the most part, but the materials and some of the features are pure Wakanda. Shuri confirmed it. T’Challa is outraged; he wants to disembowel whoever stole Wakandan secrets.”

Natasha sighs. “T’Challa’s so hot when he talks about disembowelment.”

“You didn’t tell him about Bucky, did you?” Sam asks.

Tony answers with a glare so disdainful only Tony Stark could achieve it.

Clint is squatting on his seat, as he always does, no matter how often Sam tries to explain to him how chairs work. “What about the switch?”

All eyes turn back to Tony, who doesn’t answer for a moment. Instead, he picks up the switch from the table in front of him and looks at it thoughtfully. He’s clearly troubled.

“Tony?” Natasha prods.

“It’s a little different from Marya’s. The design, the way it works, is the same. It’s got a couple of upgrades I approve of. But it’s a little crude. Not as well-made as hers.”

Sam waves a hand toward the switch. “Which is entirely consistent with Bucky having made it himself, using Stark’s design. Just like he said. Look, I’m ready to vote. I believe the guy.”

“Just, slow your roll a minute,” Tony instructs him. “Nat? You’re the human lie detector, what do you think?”

“I got nothin’, Stark. He’s consistent, he’s got no tells… I have absolutely nothing that says he’s lying.”

“But…?” Clint rolls his eyes.

“But this Hydra he says trained him. They sound a lot like the Red Room. I’m consistent and I don’t have any tells, either.”

“Which I keep telling her, is completely circular. She can’t base not believing his story on the story itself. Either you believe it or you don’t.”

“Not true. Legends are much more effective when there’s as much truth to them as possible. This guy was trained by somebody. He’s gotta know we’d spot that. So he builds it into his legend and explains it away.”

Clint makes a disgusted sound.

“Guess we know where you stand, huh, Clint?” Sam asks hopefully.

“I don’t know. What I know is that we’re fucked here. There’s no way to prove or disprove his story, because according to Stark and Banner’s multiverse Theory, there’s a universe where this guy has all the same physical attributes, even though he’s not the Barnes from Marya’s universe. In which case-“

“He comes from right here,” Tony snaps, cutting Clint off. “He’s a spy. Somebody’s trying to infiltrate the Avengers Initiative, and they know about Marya, so they built themselves a Barnes to get to us through her.”

“He’s a genetic duplicate, Tony,” Bruce argues. “Nobody has cloning technology that can-“

Tony scoffs. “Oh, so you’re Team Bucky now?”

“I’m Team Science.”

It goes on like that for quite a while, as lines begin to be drawn between those who believe Bucky is who he says he is – Sam and Bruce – and those who don’t – Natasha and Tony. Clint wavers back and forth. When Tony mentions that, it suddenly becomes clear to everyone that Barnes has said almost nothing throughout the meeting.

“Hey, Cap, you wanna-“

“Told you not to call me that,” Barnes snarls, low and menacing.

“Sorry,” Tony says quickly. “You wanna weigh in here? You got kind of a unique perspective, I’d say.”

“Maybe,” Barnes says quietly. “But I got nothin’ to say right now. I’m listenin’ to all of you, I’m weighin’ the evidence. I’m not ready to vote.”

“This can’t go on forever, Barnes,” Natasha tells him. “He’s a prisoner.”

“Ain’t like we got him in a gulag, Nat. And he said himself he’s willing to be patient.” Barnes looks up at the faces around the table. “We gotta get this right. Because I think we all know that if we decide he’s a threat, we can’t just let him go with a stern warning.”

That silences everyone for a few moments. Some of them exchange troubled glances, others avoid eye contact. Because they all know what Barnes is saying. If Bucky’s a threat, he can’t be allowed to leave the Tower. Not with all that he knows. And their choices narrow down to two very unpleasant options.

Barnes gets up from the table.

“Where are you going?” Tony asks, annoyed.

“I hate meetings. You know that. I’m going to the gym. Think I’ll see if Bucky wants to spar.” Something in his voice, and the look he gives Tony as he says it, is vaguely threatening. Whatever he has in mind, it’s not a simple workout.

“Now, this I gotta see,” Sam smiles.

“No,” Barnes says sharply. “You don’t. Everybody stays the fuck out of the gym until I say different. And Jarvis?”

“Yes, Captain.”

“You broadcast anything from in there and I promise you, I will do shit to your hard drive that’ll make you develop emotions just so you can cry. You feel me?”

“Understood, Captain.”

*****

In the gym, Bucky is standing in front of Barnes, leaning on a rack of hand weights, watching Barnes tape his hands. He’s explained that he tapes his hands because he hates breaking his fingers, which used to happen all the time with Steve. Barnes expects it’ll be the same with Bucky, because Barnes wants a full-on match. Bucky hates broken fingers, too, but it never occurred to him to tape his hands. He considers trying it, but in the end, he doesn’t bother. He’s got other things on his mind.

They’re both uncomfortable, but for very different reasons.

Barnes isn’t at all sure it’s smart to invite a prisoner, a potential spy and a man he knows is dangerous as all hell, to beat the crap out of him if he can. He’s not even sure what he hopes to accomplish. He wonders if this isn’t the biggest mistake he’s made yet as Captain America, and wishes for about the two millionth time today that Steve was here. Steve would advise asking Tony to suit up and stand guard. Barnes is disgusted about twenty-seven ways by the fact that, if Steve were here, he would take that advice and mock Steve the whole time for being a grandma. Because it would be good advice. Barnes is in a world of hurt if Bucky goes off and he has no backup. But he can’t make himself ask Tony to do it. Shit, how much of his badass reputation is built on nothing more than bitching that he didn’t need Steve to protect him, while Steve took the heat and protected him anyway?

Bucky, for his part, is struggling to hide his internal chaos. His fight-or-flight response is so powerful right now, it’s almost painful. He can’t shake the persistent warning sparking through his entire body, screaming that this is a trap. If Barnes was Hydra, it would have been. Bucky knows full well what happens when you raise a hand to your captors. It’s all well and good to crush a minion or two on occasion; Hydra had plenty of those. Hydra brass actually thought it was kind of cute when the Asset did that. But Barnes has authority here. He is not a minion. And if Bucky takes the bait and he’s wrong… He stands glowering at the floor, deep lines etched in his face as he endures a waking nightmare as real as it was when it really happened.

“Hey!” Barnes calls, sharp and loud.

Bucky’s head jerks up and he damn near responds in Russian.

“The fuck did you go?” Barnes asks, genuinely concerned.

But Bucky’s not about to acknowledge the flashback. “I, uh… Nowhere. Tryin’ to figure out what to call you, is all. I ain’t callin’ you Jim.”

“Says the asshole who calls himself Bucky.”

Barnes’ grin is actually a little reassuring. It probably shouldn’t be – God knows Bucky could invent some unspeakable tortures if he had a mind to, which means this guy is just as twisted - but it is.

“Stick with Barnes. It’s what everyone uses, anyway.”

“Fuck you. That’s my name.”

“Listen, you got clear title to Bucky, pal. I ain’t goin’ near that.” He stands up and motions for Bucky to follow him to the middle of the huge mat covering much of the floor of the gym.

“So, this sparring, there any rules?” Bucky asks, trying like hell to seem nonchalant.

“No killing. No destroying the gym, unless you wanna listen to Stark whine. That’s about it.”

Bucky is absolutely not reassured by that, but he doesn’t get the opportunity to spool up any tighter about it, because the next thing he knows, he’s on his ass on the mat. Barnes has swept his legs out from under him and is just beginning to reach for Bucky’s throat when Bucky’s instincts take over.

Bucky expected Barnes to reach for his throat. So before he has a chance to get hold of him, Bucky flips to his feet and takes advantage of Barnes’ position to land a left uppercut that sends Barnes flying at least ten feet backward. Bucky rushes him, which Barnes somehow also expects. Stunned but spinning quickly to avoid him, Barnes gets behind Bucky and uses his momentum to throw Bucky headlong into the padded wall several feet away. In two moves, they’ve covered over thirty feet. Suddenly, the gym seems kind of small.

Bucky springs away from the wall, circling to get himself some room. Barnes circles, too, and the two grin at each other from identical defensive crouches.

“No killing, don’t bust up the gym. Those really the only two rules?” Bucky asks.

“Why, you want to add some? Make sure I don’t shame you too bad?”

“Nope,” Bucky says, grinning evilly. “Just checkin’.” He crosses the distance between them in a blur of speed and grasps Barnes, ready to yeet him into the wall across the room. But Barnes sees it coming and, instead, Bucky’s suddenly on his back with Barnes on top of him, scrambling to get control of his arms. Before he can, Bucky gets a foot under his gut and heaves Barnes six feet in the air and double that backwards. Barnes crashes into the opposite wall, and both of them spring back into their defensive stances.

The next few minutes are a dizzying kaleidoscope of punches and kicks, interspersed with balletic leaps and a steadily increasing level of trash talk. Barnes can already tell that Bucky is the best opponent he’s ever fought. And Bucky now understands that Barnes’s offer to spar had been legitimate. Neither one of them knows when they start laughing, but it’s early in the fight.

There’s a lot of punching, but less than you might think, because they’re just too good at predicting each other’s moves. Kicking’s like that, too, but at least there, they each know a few moves the other doesn’t. Both of them get some good body throws in, especially when the other tries to attack, because that, too, is predictable. The intended victim, anticipating it, can use the motion against the attacker. That quickly becomes a little frustrating. They have essentially the same moves. They have the same instincts. They see each other’s next strike coming too easily. Which is why training and technique give way, and their sparring match devolves into a street brawl.

At some point, Barnes runs Bucky into the rack of hand weights, which goes over in a very loud, very heavy crash. Something’s wrong with Bucky’s left arm after that. It’s also Barnes who throws Bucky into a wall high enough that, as he scrabbles for purchase while he’s falling, Bucky pulls the padding down with him. The custom wooden racks that hold balance balls, yoga mats, foam rolls, jump ropes, and other equipment collapse when Bucky sends Barnes flying into them, face first. That’s also how Barnes’ nose gets broken.

It’s Bucky who picks up the treadmill to use as a shield but, in his defense, Barnes was the one who threw a fifty-pound hand weight at him, and it would’ve hurt if it had hit him. They know that because it totally destroys the treadmill. They’re both responsible for the destruction of the weight bench, which was not meant for two supersoldiers to land on it simultaneously at full force, arms locked around each other’s necks. But they never do agree whose fault it is that Barnes’s metal arm goes through one of the floor-to-ceiling windows, shattering it.

So yeah, they only keep the no-killing rule. By the time Barnes gives Jarvis the all-clear to unlock the doors, Tony’s gym is in ruins. Neither of the combatants had expected every single member of the team to come pouring into the room as soon as the locks released, but that’s only because they didn’t realize that the resounding thuds and crashes of their antics could be felt four floors in either direction.

The team slows, then creeps toward them, gaping at the carnage and peering amongst the debris to determine whether either of them has survived. There’s blood in several places on the fourteen-foot high ceiling, and some of it is in the shape of bodies. There’s wind whistling through the hole in the window, and it’s swaying the few light fixtures that survived, most of which are broken, including the one with a bloody jump rope wrapped around it. The wall padding and the mat on the floor are torn beyond repair, which is fine because those bloodstains aren’t coming out, anyway. The stuffing from inside the mats is everywhere. Tony whimpers as he takes in the devastation.

Bucky’s laid out across the wreck of a machine the whole team uses to do exercises against hydraulic resistance, and Barnes is under what’s left of a rowing machine, somehow tangled up in the plastic scraps of what used to be an exercise ball. They’re both bloody and bruised, each with a few broken bones that they know about. Later, when Bruce insists on full body scans, they’ll discover Barnes also has a cracked femur. They’re sweaty and exhausted, and their identical smiles are gleeful, if bloody, as they gasp for breath.

“This is why we can’t have nice things,” Tony moans.

Both Barnes and Bucky cackle maniacally, before Bucky coughs wetly and groans.

“Bucky,” Bruce says tentatively, like he’s talking to a spooked animal. “That red under you, is that blood, or another burst exercise ball?”

Bucky groans again, before answering thickly, “Prob’ly blood. Don’t tell Barnes, but I got one of these bars through my chest.”

Bruce and Marya rush to him while Barnes begins laughing hysterically. “You got stabbed by that thing? What a pussy!”

“Yeah, you might wanna reserve judgment, there, Captain Oblivious,” Clint drawls, indicating Barnes’s leg.

Barnes looks down to see that one of the oarlocks of the rowing machine has been broken from its mounting and is embedded in the meat of his left thigh. “Dammit!” He shrieks.

Now it’s Bucky laughing hysterically.

Bruce, perhaps a little affected by the depth of Tony’s enraged despair at the state of his gym, is uncharacteristically autocratic about medical care for both Barnes and Bucky. He gives them no options, but orders the rest of the team to help him strap them both to gurneys and haul them to the medical floor.

Over time, Marya’s learned to live with her terror of anything medical, developed as a result of her time as Hydra’s expendable soldier, slave, and experimental subject. One of the ways Bruce has helped her do that is to teach her to assist him. She’s gotten to the point where she doesn’t mind providing medical care, although she still dreads and resists receiving it. When they reach the large trauma room on the medical floor, Bruce begins to bark instructions to her.

Barnes tries to object. “Not happening, Banner. Get Sam to help you. I don’t want Marya in here with him.”

Seeing Marya look to Bruce, Barnes cries, “Don’t look at him. You don’t answer to him, you answer to me.”

“Not in here, she doesn’t,” Bruce says mildly. “Marya, get an IV started, too.”

Barnes argues and threatens for a while, as Bruce and Marya ignore him. Bruce conducts scans while Marya assesses wounds and administers first aid.

“This is insubordination,” Barnes mutters grumpily as she cuts off his shorts to get to the large wound the broken oarlock has made in his thigh.

“I know, Captain,” she coos sympathetically. “You’ll feel better once the morphine starts to work.”

Bucky watches her hungrily. He’s in significant pain, but he’s long ago learned how to ignore that. He waits impatiently while she cleans and bandages Barnes’s leg, wanting her to come back and stand next to him, to touch him again. He’s drowsy from the pain medication Bruce has given him, and unaware of the goofy, dreamy smile on his face as he follows Marya with his eyes.

Barnes sees it, though, and scowls. He only relaxes when Bucky’s eyes drift closed as the morphine takes a hold of him.

“I don’t know if you are my Sergeant, but you are definitely James Barnes,” Marya scolds Bucky as she cuts his shirt from his body, jolting him back to consciousness.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Barnes asks from the other exam table.

“Nothing complimentary,” Marya mutters.

Bucky grins at her. “It’s worth it, getting my ass kicked, to get to see you.”

“So you admit I kicked your ass!” Barnes shouts.

“Shut up and quit moving,” Bruce rebukes him. “You’re blurring my scans.”

Marya’s hands are firm and sure as she begins to clean and examine the stab wound in Bucky’s chest. He likes the practiced way she goes about her work, and the adorable wrinkles between her eyebrows as she concentrates.

“I need something to call you,” she says, glancing up from her work to look into his eyes. “I will not call you Sergeant, so I suppose I’ll have to call you Bucky.”

“But you said-“

“I said that I could not call the Zimniy Soldat Bucky. But I don’t know that you are the Zimniy Soldat.”

“That makes a weird kind of sense.”

“One of us should have some. The two of you clearly don’t.”

Bucky’s grin widens and he feels a bloom of warmth in his chest that has nothing to do with the hole in his flesh and everything to do with the fondly exasperated look she’s giving him.

“This chest wound is going to take a few layers of stitching,” Marya tells Bruce over her shoulder. “I’ll get everything ready for you.”

“Don’t knock me out, though,” Bucky pleads. “If this is the only time they’ll let me see you, I want to be awake.”

“Knock him the hell out,” Barnes growls.

Unfortunately for Bucky, Bruce insists on sedating him as he repairs the stab wound. Although Bucky will heal even without it, this universe’s Bruce is just as stubborn about proper medical care as the one from Bucky’s universe. Which means his time with Marya is cut disappointingly short.

*****

Bruce requires both Barnes and Bucky to remain on the medical floor overnight. Once their injuries are treated and they’re stable, Bruce puts them both in one large room. Since there are six private rooms on the floor, everyone is perfectly aware that making them share is punishment for their reckless stupidity in injuring each other and destroying the gym. Both Barneses realize, too late, that they should have hidden the fact that it had been so much fun.

Tony backs Barnes in requiring that Marya leave the medical floor now that the regular medical staff have arrived. Bucky’s disappointed, but not surprised.

As evening falls, there’s really nothing to do while they heal except talk. The longer the groggy, intermittent conversation goes, the clearer it is to Bucky that something’s changed between them. Barnes is willing to be much more open with him than any of them have been thus far. He would attribute some of that to morphine, except that he knows how good he, himself, is at keeping his mouth shut, even when under the influence of something.

“It’s not getting better. We’re basically putting out fires,” Barnes was saying. “They call themselves the Ten Rings. Run by some shithead calls himself The Mandarin. Slippery fucker. Absolutely ruthless. Nat almost caught up with him once, but he ghosted. Haven’t gotten close since.”

“That sucks.”

Barnes’s face went hard. “Doesn’t matter. Because if it’s the last thing I do, I gotta take them down. Especially that Mandarin motherfucker.” Barnes hisses, “He’s the one who killed Steve.”

Bucky can see that Barnes’s rage is never far below the surface. “What, exactly, happened?”

“Ask someone else, man,” Barnes sighs. “I don’t wanna talk about that.”

“Yeah. I get it.”

There’s a lull then, the air thick with memories as cherished as they are excruciating. After a while, Barnes practically whispers, “We were married, anyone tell you that?”

“Fuck! No.”

“Yeah. Dumbass finally says yes, then he gets himself killed.”

“Shit, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah.”

They go quiet again, the ghost of Steve Rogers palpable between them as they both remember, and ache. It’s a therapeutic, in a way, just sitting here, grieving together the man they’ve both loved since they knew what love was. The man they both still love with a savage, tormented violence. Different though the circumstances were, they can each still fully understand the other’s grief at losing him. They’re not talkers. They don’t want, need, or even know how to speak their sorrow. But as they lie there, lost for the moment in pain, they somehow realize that in this bizarre situation, there’s also absolutely no need. To tell each other how they feel would be redundant.

An hour goes by in total silence. Barnes is the first to break it, and it’s clear his thoughts have returned to the Ten Rings threat. “Thing is, without Steve, we got even less chance than we had before, and we were already fucked. They get bolder every damn time.”

Bucky catches the thread immediately. “Yeah, I noticed there are a lot of terrorist attacks here. Lot more than in my universe.”

“Yeah?”

“By maybe a factor of ten. First thing I saw when I crash-landed here was that blown-out resort in Singapore.”

“Yeah, that was them. The Ten Rings. They wanted to disrupt Singapore’s economy.”

“Seems to have worked, if the exchange rate is any indication.”

“Oh, it worked, all right. Bastards.”

“I wish I could help you. I was jealous as hell when you guys flew off on your mission. Haven’t felt that in a while.”

“What, you lose interest in fighting? After Steve?”

“Lost interest in livin’, pal. Sorry to be so blunt.”

“Nah. Don’t apologize. If I didn’t have those morons upstairs... I wouldn’t have gotten through this last year without them. Didn’t want to. They dragged me back to life, kicking and screaming. I don’t know how you did it without them.”

There was no shred of doubt or pretense in Barnes’s voice, and he was looking at Bucky as he said it. Bucky’s eyes flew open and he turned to Barnes. “You believe me.”

Barnes frowned and hesitated before saying, “I believe that you’re another me somehow. That multiverse thing’s as good a reason as any, I guess. And Stark says it’s theoretically possible. I believe you’re telling the truth about what you’ve been through. Do I believe you’re the me that Marya knew? I don’t know. I just… I don’t know. And that’s the thing. She’s such a part of things here, I can’t take the risk that you’re not. I know what she’s capable of. I know how she feels about her Sergeant, and I also know there’s nothing she won’t do for someone she’s loyal to.”

Bucky grinned. “Not to mention how polite and respectful of authority she is, all the while she’s disobeying your direct orders behind your back.”

“And she’s so fucking sweet about it you can’t stand to discipline her.”

“Even when she tells you to your face she’d do it again.”

Barnes and Bucky shake their heads, identical fond smiles on their faces as they roll their eyes in unison.

“That’s one of the reasons Stark leads the team, you know. Some people think that role should go with the shield. I don’t. It should go to the one most capable, and Stark’s been here since the beginning. That’s the main reason, but… Not gonna lie, Marya’s another. He can say no to her, enforce consequences when she steps out of line. Me, I just …” Barnes huffs a laugh and shrugs helplessly.

And that’s when Bucky realizes that Barnes is in love with Marya.

#The Avengers #Captain America #The Winter Soldier #Bucky Barnes #Sam Wilson #Clint Barton #Bruce Banner #Natasha Romanoff #Tony Stark #Sebastian Stan

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

Text

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [Okay, so 'punishment' of cleaning everyone's rooms, like 1. you've been here a night, so how messy is anyone's gonna be 2. we're here for a long weekend vibe, does it need to be clean even as long as it is before you go, like? 3. you've left them alone without effectively any supervision when they being punished for canoodling, like alright lads lmao] Jimmy: What kind of bollocks paddy punishment is this? Jimmy: barely started and I've got 🚬 and 💰💰 Janis: the 'can't be arsed' variety Janis: nice Janis: only found some pocket change so far but saving the best rooms 'til last Jimmy: race you Jimmy: only need 💊 and 🥃 to have the ☠ full set Janis: alright, you're on Janis: what pills count though, important info, not agreeing if you're counting paracetamol, like Jimmy: You're the expert Janis: you what Jimmy: from 💀👑's shit stirring mouth to my ears Janis: she'll LOVE that you listen, I'm sure Jimmy: properly well trained, me Jimmy: go ahead and tweet that whenever you like, mate Janis: if you wanna make her jizz her pants, easier ways than using my feed for it Jimmy: yeah, that's TOTALLY what I want, obvs Janis: 🚬💰💊 and 🥃 first, I heard Janis: speaking of, how morally dubious is it to take Helena's meds? Jimmy: I'll keep the 🍫🍪🍬 I just found in my pockets, make it easier to fake that I'm pleased to see her Jimmy: reckon you're morally obligated to take 'em, Jesus is the only dickhead who saves Janis: 🐖 you, running through these halls Janis: I'll take 2, feeling generous, not greedy, unlike SOME Jimmy: Come get a 🍪 and save me from myself 😇🥇 Janis: if that's a nickname you wanna go with, I'll need 2, tah Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: 🐖💕 Janis: no, that's you Jimmy: I ain't the one with a 🍪 in each hand Janis: your pockets are just full, fatty Jimmy: Oi, I'm pleased to see you, Joanne Janis: not fooling me Janis: in on the secret, remember Jimmy: bit busy chucking water on Kieran's bed any road Janis: 😏 Janis: more like it Jimmy: I'll take my 🏆 full of 🥃 if you find owt Janis: I'll be SURE to let you know when I do 🤞🤞 Jimmy: you do owe me Jimmy: it were your fault it got taken off us Janis: How do you figure that? Jimmy: Who left it on top of the wardrobe for any dickhead to 👀? Janis: oh, where did you expect me to put it mid-performance? Jimmy: I wouldn't have let you sit on it if you'd left it where it were, not a kink Janis: 😂 you're DISGUSTING Jimmy: who's bed should I put this in? Jimmy: [a pic of the bra that I'm stealing from the OG convo] Janis: put it in Ben's Janis: his bird will lose her shit the hardest, be hilarious Jimmy: Which one's he? Janis: come find you and show you Janis: not actually told me what room you're in so Jimmy: do you wanna know? Janis: you mean am I having fun playing hide and seek? Jimmy: it's a valid question Janis: are you having fun then? Jimmy: Where's your answer? Janis: 🔍 Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: more fun than the bullshit activity they're all doing, no doubt Jimmy: There you go then, if you're happy, I'm happy, baby 💕 Janis: 🙄👏 Janis: screenshotted Jimmy: reckon we can do better than that if you ever find me, but alright Janis: long as it's not bragging about our crimes, can't be those idiots Jimmy: but what if our crime were fucking on 💀👑 or 💀#2 bunks? Janis: well, depending how graphic, that can definitely be posted, 'course Jimmy: only to her if it spares your 😳 Janis: Show me a point I've given a fuck Jimmy: You ain't talking to her and her receipt keeping minions, soz Janis: Exactly Jimmy: Where the fuck are you? Janis: was trying something, no cigar though Janis: you in their room then? one sec Jimmy: Go on, disappoint me, what couldn't you do? Janis: get in the teacher's rooms, they've got locks 😢 Jimmy: you can't break 'em? Hang on 💪🏆 Janis: [turns up and finds him, throwing whatever cigarettes and lighters she's found at him 'cookies, please'] Jimmy: [when he was gonna find her and vandalise the teacher's locks so they lowkey nearly bump into each other but he chucks the cookies at her before there's a #moment] Janis: [just nom-ing like there isn't a vibe, as per 'was saving their room 'til last, bet there's loads of rich girl shit'] Jimmy: [brushing a cookie crumb off her face with his thumb and then putting said thumb in his mouth to get said crumb 'gotta show me Ben's first'] Janis: [just stopping dead in your tracks for a hot sec there like you were stopping yourself running into his arm but that ain't why, nods 'he deserves it'] Jimmy: [we just walking so casually to this lad's room to fuck up his relationship lol] Janis: [soz not soz, whoever you are] Jimmy: [go and do #bragate and look through his shit lads] Janis: [the state these rooms gonna lowkey be in, so much worse than before] Jimmy: [I vote he should have some booze of some description so they have it when they go to Mia's room cos gonna be in there a while] Janis: [I concur] Jimmy: [when you shrug at her once you're done like anywhere we've missed cos should save hers til last] Janis: [points out the rooms she did so they can work out if they've missed any between 'em] Jimmy: [likewise tells her the ones he did and maybe they have missed one and there's nothing good but they can have an actual race to Mia's that she obviously wins] Janis: [😏 as we snooping with reckless abandon] Jimmy: [chucks some 🍬s at her with gold wrappers in place of a 🥇] Janis: ['you're buzzing to lose, remember' looks at the beds pointedly, then carries on going through their bags] Jimmy: [lights a 🚬 because fuck you ladies] Janis: ['what about me?' so #offended] Jimmy: [gives her a look like I didn't think you'd want one cos you're such an athlete but comes over and lights one for her, putting it in her mouth and everything cos always gotta be flirty about it] Janis: ['one ain't gonna get me as fucked as you, cute though, concern and that'] Jimmy: [makes a moment™ out of putting some of the ones they found into her pocket as well as his lighter that she was playing with before, not just a random spare and goes to lie down on the bottom bunk for a bit] Janis: [just leaves him be for a while, keeping busy over here, all casual, all fine, eventually, 'if you're going sleep, do your best to look cute so I can take some creepshots 'fore I piss off'] Jimmy: [just having his lil sulk cos he lost 'weren't the plan, that' and pats the bed beside him in his best attempt at creepy but then starts putting out all the shit he found to look through it] Janis: [best 😬 but goes over and adds her haul] Jimmy: [cracks open the booze whatever it is and takes a massive swig before passing it to her] Janis: [doing the same, throwing those two tablets out on the bed, like, offer is there 'she must be fucked up' shrugs 'decent shit'] Jimmy: [sharing everything else out like actual couple goals but leaving them cos he ain't that bitch] Janis: [when you ain't either so that's a #relief tbh] Jimmy: [lifts the pillow and puts them under cos that gal is gonna notice her meds are gone so might as well try and frame these bitches] Janis: [so into that it's not even funny lol] Jimmy: [then nudges her like which bed do you think is Mia's cos that's the one you wanna fake fuck on if you're doing only one] Janis: ['how's either of them getting up there, honestly' put gets up and peers for clues 'think this is Ella's, the PJs are negative sized, Mia wishes'] Jimmy: ['she wishes she were a top an' all'] Janis: ['so you are gay then' 😏] Jimmy: [😏 and chucks loads of 🍬🍫 up onto Ella's bed so either she'll be triggered or Mia will think they're hers and be mad or both] Janis: [gonna say you got some laxatives I'm flushing gals, along with pouring whatever expensive perfume/foundation etc down the loo, at least half of so you can't prove it 'cos it's not empty] Jimmy: [love that] Janis: [you both know you're delaying what you said you'd do though] Jimmy: [I'm literally sitting here thinking if there's a way we could let them actually hook up rn for the sheer #mood of it all without ruining everything lol] Janis: [like you could, and then pretend it didn't happen, maybe?] Jimmy: [that's what I'm thinking like if you both act like you're carried away by getting one over on Mia and drunker than you are, I just think it'd add to the weird dynamic and headfuck of it all if they did] Janis: [it's in character for her so if it is for him, we can] Jimmy: [like we know he wants to and would so as long as they both commit to acting like it didn't happen I think we can get away with it] Janis: [we doing it, gonna have to start talking if you're gonna get there though, lads] Jimmy: [lbr it'd we weirder if they didn't hook up at this point cos they always go too hard for the 'camera' and they don't have sod all clothes on yet again so they're gonna feel EVERYTHING when they're making out and dry humping all over each other, it'd literally only take something like that thing he does where he tries to say words and it comes out as a full moan to tip them over this precarious edge] Janis: [exactly, it only doesn't happen in this scenario if one of you is the type to say no for reasons or you don't actually fancy each other but you clearly do so] Jimmy: [we setting up both phones for all the angles as if you're not gonna forget about that immediately] Janis: ['least bottom bunk makes for #moodlighting, I guess'] Jimmy: ['more of a challenge to for us to break it though' because I remember in the OG convo they lowkey dismantled her bed and they should do that here because funnier] Janis: ['as long as you keep the top from squashing me with your giant head' we deffo should, a mood] Jimmy: [squishes her face like aw baby I will protect you, you small egg] Janis: [goes to smack his but as per, not actually lmao] Jimmy: [little playfight/pillow fight to get this tension going] Janis: [points if you can beat the stuffing out of these pillows] Jimmy: [you gotta lads and also leave your empty booze bottle hidden about in the hopes they get blamed for that too] Janis: [when neither of you are cool enough to party this hard, welcome for the rep boost hoes] Jimmy: [1000% living for the prospect of Mia getting in trouble with her dad though bye] Janis: [hahahahaaaaaha #disappointeddaddy] Jimmy: [that's a pisstaking # they need to use fr] Janis: [speaking of the socials, making sure there's Mia things in the background so you can start taking these shots like they bitch] Jimmy: [not actually stalling that time, it's genuinely important] Janis: [tis why we're here, currently, anyway] Jimmy: [crack on doing the most, you know you gotta go even harder than you did during the last photoshoot purely to annoy these hoes yep] Janis: [the level anything beyond making out/lovebites is unpostable, like do you need all these angles and different poses? nope but here we are] Jimmy: [like even if you just DMed them to her to ruin her ability to sleep in that bed you still don't need to go this hard lads] Janis: [could let her do the legwork lmao, we see you] Jimmy: [I love you two and your flimsy excuses so much] Janis: [hence this is so stretch] Janis: *NO Jimmy: [imagine if he'd fake dated some gal who literally only wanted to do the bare minimum] Janis: [an actual prude or the one girl that didn't fancy him] Jimmy: [he thought Janis didn't for a bit there LOL] Janis: [she got eyes honey] Jimmy: [LORD the eye contact rn don't even] Janis: [looking away when you literally cannot and ruining a shot or something neither of you actually care about but] Jimmy: [and kissing when you also cannot so your eyes get to be closed because you're not psychos] Janis: [literally running out of skin for lovebites] Jimmy: [hence you gotta hardcore make out and once you start you can't stop] Janis: [away we go] Jimmy: [this is simultaneously the best and worst idea lads, love it] Janis: [knocking those phones down 'cos do not need that in your life, even if we pretending this is that spontaneous] Jimmy: [accidentally recording their first time that they are gonna pretend didn't happen is not the one] Janis: [because Rio is your sister, purely, which is why she said no to being in the ad 'cos she thought he was being a dick and everyone else would] Jimmy: [I didn't even think about that in relation to the ad, oh boo you so smart] Janis: [hohaha] Jimmy: [if you two have been shook by how into each other you are, just you wait until after this 🔥 first time] Janis: [have fun downplaying this lmao] Jimmy: [god it's gonna be so awkward, at least we can have a teacher show up to take them to the next activity whenever we need] Janis: [when you can't separate 'cos the image but you can tell you being more distant and actually fake] Jimmy: [the next activity was trust falls and a blindfolded assault course which I think we should still do but we should do it different by saying they aren't allowed to work together for it cos bad eggs which they would hate despite the awks cos they both have trust issues and would be shamelessly jealous of the boy and girl the other is doing it with] Jimmy: [plus it makes more sense for the next bit cos in the OG they just went back on it later when nobody else was about and like he challenged her to do it better cos she was the blindfolded one I think and that's how she twisted her ankle which led to the fake injury but if they weren't allowed to do it together then it's more logical that all that would happen] Janis: [well done boo, fully approve] Jimmy: [yeah she was all like I could do it by myself I don't need you which can still be a thing but there's even more of a vibe this way] Janis: [a mood, lord knows who you're having to do this with first time around] Jimmy: [I think she should have to do it with Ben whoever he is for the lols] Janis: [oh ben, as long as your gf doesn't think it's her bra 'cos lmao] Jimmy: [we should give him Asia since they didn't do that project together this time] Janis: [she will probably drop you god speed] Jimmy: [we should say she does so Janis has to be all #concerned which is awks after what just happened] Janis: [after #caring for him] Janis: memorize that course before you do it Janis: no chance she knows left from right Jimmy: I ain't that thick, tah, I'll make her be the one to do it Janis: revenge, right Jimmy: you're alright, in well safe hands, you Janis: yeah, his girlfriend is neurotic, had practice Jimmy: safe hands til she gets hers on you then Janis: if I have to threaten to smack her too, I will Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: just don't wanna be dropped on my arse like you Jimmy: I get it, ain't gonna be a soft landing Janis: just don't like looking like a twat Jimmy: you'll look well fit and mysterious in that blindfold, mate, TOTALLY on brand Janis: obvious kink but alright Jimmy: long as it ain't Ben's Jimmy: 🐇🔪🍳 Janis: if it is she'll be blind too tryna win back his attention, not concerned Jimmy: 👍 Janis: need some 🧊? Jimmy: can only give me the cold shoulder on your own time, Judith Janis: haha Jimmy: hang in there, baby Jimmy: 😂 so you don't 😭 Janis: be able to hide 'em behind the mask Janis: your 'look' makes sense now Jimmy: Busted Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: you're gonna keep my secret? SO romantic that Jimmy: my trust has been fully restored, like Janis: not very goals Janis: you crying all the time Jimmy: works for sir Jimmy: he's having one now Janis: Ben's very capable and we're all feeling a type of way about it Jimmy: Capable of getting you sent to sick bay in some weird accident they'll use to warn dickheads not to piss about on school trips Jimmy: won't dry my eyes so I look 💔 Janis: I get it, you're feeling sore Janis: 🍑hurt Jimmy: I get it, you're the only one who's allowed to make me feel like that Jimmy: you're alright, I'll fake that I ain't Jimmy: we'll still be #goals Janis: bit late for that Jimmy: 💪🏆 me Janis: not with that braindeadweight Jimmy: Challenge accepted, sweetheart Janis: unless the race is to first aid, you've got no chance Jimmy: that's you Jimmy: but Ill let you wear my 🥇 if you ask nicely Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 🙄 even less chance of that Jimmy: 💔🎻 Janis: poor boy Jimmy: Alright Mia, have you know I found loads of 💰 a bit ago Janis: shared it with me Janis: you ain't heard how the rich stay rich? Jimmy: I ain't afraid to pull my weight Jimmy: or teach you owt you don't know Jimmy: and you still ain't sorted out how to do cute so Janis: fuck off haven't I Jimmy: Have you? Jimmy: Don't count if you're using it on Ben Janis: not my fault they separated us Jimmy: how do you work that out? Janis: don't start again Janis: we both got in trouble that was the point Jimmy: Or what? You'll piss off with Ben to first aid Jimmy: crack on Janis: yeah, obviously Janis: this is stupid, you said you didn't care about getting in trouble, so don't moan at me now Jimmy: you said you didn't either so take your share of the blame, dickhead Jimmy: weren't being 😎🥇 on my own Janis: how am I not? Janis: you're trying to put it all on me for no reason Jimmy: nowt's your fault, you just said Jimmy: 😇 you Janis: that ain't what I said Jimmy: what I read Janis: whatever Janis: fact remains there's no time to be cute right now Jimmy: [does something cute to prove the point that there always is] Janis: go away Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: very cute Jimmy: you're right, you're smashing it Janis: there's no need Jimmy: don't sound like a cop out at all, that Janis: what, what do you want me to do Janis: because they chase around after boys, and that's sad, not goals Janis: I'm doing my part right Jimmy: nowt to get worked up about then, is there? Jimmy: sort yourself out, girl Janis: literally do one Jimmy: LITERALLY stop crying, meant to be on brand for me, not you Janis: [you need to ignore him gal] Jimmy: [take a time out Jimothy, we know why you're being a dickhead but it's still rude] Janis: [oh the drama] Jimmy: [do your best to get Asia round this course, we know it's gonna be a shitshow] Janis: [oh gal] Jimmy: [we should say they go back on their own when everyone's on lunch, it makes sense] Janis: [we gonna need to propose that but yes] Jimmy: [gotta be alone for that dramaaaaa] Janis: [wandering off 'cos cannot be bothered to do this lunch moment right now] Jimmy: ? Janis: can have a 🚽break, can't we Jimmy: long as you do it before so 💀👑 don't get her hopes up that you're joining the ranks Janis: don't need to, do I Janis: why you think she hates me Jimmy: I'm going for a 🚬 then, come find me if you wanna go in Janis: don't you need bed rest Jimmy: bit rude for a come on Jimmy: don't really get me going if you slag off my stamina Janis: it's a, let's not go in, plea, if anything Janis: say what you want for mine, I can't be arsed yet Janis: stressful enough training Ben for the past, however long Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: come have a 🚬 Janis: alright Jimmy: you not hungry? Janis: nah Janis: we eat loads Janis: 🍬🍫🍪 Jimmy: No need to go in then Janis: you can, if you are Janis: say I'm sick or sleeping or some other cute bollocks Jimmy: You're alright, already had my dose of ☠ Jimmy: wouldn't wanna 💀💀💀 without you by my side Janis: Obviously Janis: or in this dump Jimmy: unless it were on that assault course Jimmy: get everyone right in the shit Janis: good idea Janis: go back and I'll finish the job she half-arsed Jimmy: you admitting you ain't got me well trained either? Jimmy: nowt to worry about, I'll keep that secret with my dying breath Janis: didn't get chance, did I Jimmy: you're saying 💀💀💀 job done but if you were 🥇 I'd be in the safest hands going, wouldn't I? Janis: I could Janis: but maybe I want you to lay down in the dirt and 💀💀💀 Jimmy: Stop flirting with me Janis: you wish Jimmy: for 💀💀💀? Duh Janis: then go on then Janis: find a blindfold substitute Jimmy: always trying to get my clothes off, you Janis: maybe it makes you more interesting Jimmy: you waiting for me to disagree or what? Janis: dunno if bighead or 💔 Jimmy: while you're pissing about 🤔 I'm actually waiting for you here Janis: awh Janis: one of us has to, babe Janis: hold on Jimmy: funny and clever, fuck me, full package you are, girl Janis: DUH Janis: closest you're gonna get Janis: didn't know people as thick as Asia genuinely existed Jimmy: modest an' all Jimmy: her parents must be northern, giving her a name like that is a dead giveaway Janis: guess what her sisters are called Jimmy: Arabia and Altrincham, obvs Janis: truly not that far off Janis: America, another continent kinda, alright, then they realize they've run out so China Janis: 🎻 she'll have such a complex that one Jimmy: 💔 their last name ain't White Janis: 😏 Janis: [show up from wherever you've been freaking] Jimmy: [lights her a 🚬 cos she said she wanted one] Janis: [smoking that as we walk to this assault course] Jimmy: [keeping it casual and not at all awkward] Janis: [the vibe] Jimmy: [get to this assault course and immediately start messing about boy cos you're so 💪 obvs] Janis: [🙄 but using this 🚬 as an excuse to sit and 👀 on the low] Jimmy: [when you come and sit by her after a bit but that not close because you obviously are so unbothered] Janis: [shakes head 'stamina, who?'] Jimmy: [push her cos 1. oi 2. you have a go then] Janis: [gesturing to her cigarette like excuse me 'such a slave driver, you'] Jimmy: [takes it off her and takes a drag like well you've got no excuse now] Janis: [ugh-ing about it but going, without the blindfold moment first] Jimmy: [👀 shamelessly] Janis: [doing it backwards 'cos show-off like see, so easy] Jimmy: [such a sarcastic slow clap 'close your eyes and have a crack at it'] Janis: [🖕 'I remember being the one who did it well the first time, not you' ] Jimmy: ['weren't the fastest though, were you?' a fake sympathetic face cos at least Asia was one of the worst so like they fucked up the best #soreloserlogic] Janis: ['only because Sam and Lewis are so close they're like telepathic, not fair'] Jimmy: ['first place or nowt, baby' cos he's pretending that he's so fine with the nowt because Asia just to wind Janis up like she's yet again crying] Janis: ['for you, maybe' L on the forehead moment] Jimmy: ['don't need telepathy to know you're -' 💔 mime 'and they ain't about now, what's your next excuse gonna be?'] Janis: [just doing this like fuck you boy] Jimmy: [putting a timer on his phone and waving said phone at her] Janis: [that phone lowkey your enemy, so shaming you have to fall al soz about that] Jimmy: [when you're so genuinely scared that she might be hurt that you can't be a dick about it and literally rush over to help her up] Janis: [we are so fuming boy watch out] Jimmy: [just looking at her like ARE YOU OKAY TELL ME because very concerned] Janis: [when you're so stubborn and 😤 just hobbling away like no good day] Jimmy: [catching up to her easily obvs and trying to force her to lean on you for support/ go sit for a sec] Janis: ['I'm fine!'] Jimmy: ['stop being a dickhead, you'll fall again'] Janis: ['I wasn't being a dickhead, that's you'] Jimmy: ['you are now' helping her whether she likes it or not] Janis: ['don't talk to me'] Jimmy: [picks her up and takes her to where they were sitting before without saying a word of course and puts her leg up on him because you're meant to elevate it] Janis: [just grumbling about how ridiculous this is, but mostly to self] Jimmy: [just giving her time to calm down cos obvs he's gonna take her back but not til she's ready cos they might have to see people] Janis: [give you some time gal, then you just sat there pouting but not as seething] Jimmy: [taking her shoe off for her really gently because you don't know how much it hurts or not/if it's gonna swell up and you know she's not gonna tell you how bad it is or isn't] Janis: ['alright, perv' but we winced a bit so you know it does hurt some] Jimmy: [😏 but his 👀 are worried] Janis: ['at least I don't have to do any more activities' but low-key annoyed about that like why am I here lmao] Jimmy: ['they'd have to let me help you, if you insisted you did wanna do 'em' because same vibe as when they talked him back onto activities after they sent him to his room, we know what teachers be like 'could be very goals'] Janis: [shrugs 'guess so' leaning forward to inspect your foot yourself 'you just don't wanna be left alone with Asia'] Jimmy: [playfully nudges her but we all know it turns into that feelsy lean they do] Janis: [letting it be but you are the one to shrug him off 'it's not that bad' sighs 'no excuse to talk to Mia's dad, still'] Jimmy: [can't help a little genuine amused smile 'have to fake it's loads worse' when you're joking for the benefit of Mia's dad rn but that is what they're gonna do lol] Janis: ['why not? LOVE sympathy, like'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like are you serious or nah cos we could] Janis: [we thinking about the potential benefits here like hmm 'taking away attention for #2 has it's appeal, sure'] Jimmy: ['and I can do sympathy in a way you'll like' when that sounds way saucier than you meant it to] Janis: [lols like that is purely bants and such a horrific prospect you haven't even considered it at all seriously 'I won't like it, but they'd LOVE it, so it's worth doing'] Jimmy: [shrugs like that's what you meant anyway] Janis: [shrugs back like you suggested it don't get moody with me] Jimmy: [shakes his head because he's not and he doesn't wanna fight with her rn but then picks her back up and carries her away before she can potentially pick a fight, only stopping when they get back to be like gesturing with his head do you wanna go in the direction of the lunch room and put on a show IRL or the sickbay to put on a show via posts on socials or her room to do none of those things] Janis: [gesture for the sickbay, 'cos it's more dramatic and you still don't wanna go do the lunch room rn for all the reasons] Jimmy: [we taking her and getting her some ice with a playful look because of how she took the piss out of him saying he needed some earlier] Janis: [grump 😒] Jimmy: [when you can actually do the pouty lip kiss thing for the first time because we gotta do socials posts] Janis: [when that's too much of a mood] Jimmy: [we're all dying and wanting to die] Janis: [doing it again purely 'cos you mad, not so he has to do that again, nah] Jimmy: [does do it again though because that hook up was no time ago and we're very much not over it] Janis: [I highly doubt there's a nurse, just someone who comes to do your first aid then bounces so you know, get into it] Jimmy: [fully just having a makeout sesh that you literally have no excuse for] Janis: [we need to, tbh] Jimmy: [I'm loling because it reminds me of when Ali twisted her ankle going up the mountain cos she was so 😍 for Carly especially because of all the posts he's gonna do on socials to milk this, suck it Ella, nobody cares that you got 'hurt']] Janis: [lmao, it is like that, soz you can't regale us like a cringe mum 'cos not on them good terms currently even though you'd all be slightly better 'cos your mum really held it down for all y'all soooo, yeah not even Mia cares, HOW MUCH DOES THAT HURT] Jimmy: [at least Janis can let Jimothy do all the work posting cos you so injured babe and he can be busy with that so y'all don't hook up again] Jimmy: [though would make lol if you two went insta live from sick bay] Janis: [Q&A 'bout the situation lmao go off] Jimmy: [everyone has a million questions about your everything rn we know] Janis: [and we need to feel like we back on top of faking this, right] Jimmy: [mhmmm] Janis: [going through her phone beforehand to see if there's any burning Qs] Jimmy: [when you just chuck her yours cos cba and also got that trust™] Janis: [🙄 'you do your share of the work, yeah?' 😏] Jimmy: [🙄 but you hold your hand out for your phone back cos #whipped] Janis: [shakes head, shows him Ben's girlfriend popping off 'cos that bitch like LOL] Jimmy: [pats her on the back IRL like good job babe cos genuinely amused] Janis: ['gutted I ain't gonna get him without a fight, obviously'] Jimmy: ['if you can't take her on with one good leg, you don't deserve him'] Janis: [😲 'how dare you'] Jimmy: ['I dare 'cause I don't give a shit, remember' yeah okay Jimothy we know you're a rebel without a cause calm down 'nowt's too much trouble'] Janis: ['put it on your business card you now know how to make'] Jimmy: [😏 'nice bit of labour red font, and what do you know, colour of blood an' all, proper on brand that'] Janis: ['have to try again if you want to draw blood, bastard'] Jimmy: ['and you'll have to ask nicer if you want me to join your ranks, vampire girl'] Janis: ['think not, hot topic'] Jimmy: ['What the fuck is hot topic?' he's genuinely like ?] Janis: [😂 and not telling him like look it up and feel the burn on your own time, boy] Jimmy: [poking her which turns to tickling her like tell me] Janis: [shall never even if we reinjure ourselves rn] Jimmy: [casually a good place to start the stream though like oh are we live already oops we're just here living our best lives] Janis: [having a better time than all of y'all always] Jimmy: [making sure to lowkey be nursing her through this stream cos she's oh so injured and he's oh so attentive #hoesbejealous] Janis: [fight every instinct you have girl, pretend you loving it and be SO appreciative] Jimmy: [we making it look so casual like oh lemme prop your ankle up a little more, lemme get you another pillow for your head, lemme get you some water, no it's okay you answer this question brb] Janis: [#anatural because you raising your siblings that's the tea, LOVE to know how these questions are going] Jimmy: [that is the tea even if she's lowkey like why's he so good at this the weirdo #kinks] Jimmy: [but we know this is going brilliantly cos they are both funny fucks and bringing the chemistry] Janis: [yeah you have no idea beyond how he portrays himself as being so good at all this stuff and you can't question that without outing yourself so you shan't obvs] Janis: [probably a solid mix of bitchiness and perviness tbh] Jimmy: [when lunch can't last forever and you have to decide if you're going to whatever the afternoon activity is or if just he's going and she's staying there or you're staying together or what] Janis: [I say she better stay so it seems legit but you should go and pine sir] Jimmy: [not even fake we 👀 you boy] Janis: 🤞 you get teamed with someone with two braincells this time Jimmy: you'd have to cross more than that Jimmy: nowt but idiots about round here Janis: you and her are soulmates Janis: A* couple Jimmy: Tah, I'll get in her DMs and let her know you reckon so Janis: go for it Janis: honestly, probably the only thing that'll deter her Janis: inability to fuck me over 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: Woe's you is the #mood over here, mate Jimmy: 🏆 for staying on brand Janis: so you're gonna fatally wound me and then take the piss? nah Jimmy: if I were gonna fatally wound you, you'd be 💀💀💀 Jimmy: didn't push you off or owt Janis: be nice to me to their faces at least Janis: story change so quick Jimmy: [does some extra post about how much he misses her etc] Jimmy: alright? Janis: 👍 Janis: 🏆 for staying on brand Jimmy: not a challenge for me Janis: so you keep saying Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: meaning I should ask you that Janis: they eat up that live Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Whatever Janis: next week or whenever you can pick someone else to do it with Jimmy: What are you on about? Janis: if you reckon I'm so shit at it Jimmy: I never said Janis: you say it all the time, boy Jimmy: steady on Jimmy: you did alright, there's nowt to get a mard on over Janis: whatever, like I said Jimmy: What? Janis: what? Janis: what are you doing, anyway? Jimmy: I'm asking you what's the matter, nowt else til you've answered that, like Janis: nothing's the matter Janis: just don't know why you have to talk to me like such a dick all the time Jimmy: I'm a dickhead Janis: yeah Jimmy: What do you want me to talk to you like? Janis: literally just like we both have a stake in this plan and that we're both doing shit about it, nothing more or less Jimmy: okay Janis: alright then Jimmy: I'm fed up of this bollocks, cover me Janis: 👍 no fucker is coming back here to check on me so Jimmy: just me if anyone @'s you Janis: yeah, sure Janis: no doubt assuming at this point, idiots, like you said Jimmy: I'd chuck 'em all 🏆🏆🏆🏆 for giving us such a hand but I'd be there ages Janis: generosity has to know some bounds Janis: or it'll just get weird Jimmy: right Janis: anyway, you need any more 🚬 Janis: got loads now Jimmy: don't you need 'em? Janis: nah, not a smoker Jimmy: I'll come pick up 'em when I do you then Janis: literally this time or Jimmy: can't get back on your own, delicate little lass like you who's walking wounded an' all Jimmy: what kind of fake boyfriend would I be Janis: ugh Janis: suppose so Jimmy: I get it, you're fed up of this bollocks yourself Jimmy: should've put 💰 on you not staying put in that bed for nowt Janis: you didn't wanna stay in bed either when they sent you out, if I recall Jimmy: I weren't in pain but alright Jimmy: you said no fucker's coming to check, come with me if you want Jimmy: I reckon I might 🔓 the teacher's rooms Janis: I'm putting it on, remember but 🤫 Janis: yeah? Jimmy: funny that, I were putting my 💔 on at getting sent out Jimmy: heard you were such an athlete, reckon you've got it in you to hop over and meet us or what? Janis: 😱 no way! you're SUCH a social butterfly though Janis: 🐇 on the brain, new boy Jimmy: 🦘🥊 Jimmy: so 💪🏆🥇 you Janis: don't need to compliment me, it was my idea, obviously coming Jimmy: How were it your idea? I just had it Janis: 'scuse you Jimmy: you Jimmy: nicking my 🥇💡 Janis: such a wind-up Jimmy: that's you an' all Janis: 😒 Janis: ignoring you Jimmy: be my #ultimategoals if any lass could Janis: if you talked more, they'd get over it faster, I reckon Jimmy: if they let me get a word in, I might do Janis: that's what they want, mute hot boyfriend Jimmy: 💔 for 'em that my brother's only a kid and got a fair shout not growing up to look like me Janis: you joke now Jimmy: do I? Janis: 🤡 Jimmy: don't forget the 🔪🩸 Janis: brother ain't got a yellow mac, has he Jimmy: did do when he were a bit younger Jimmy: and he loves pissing about with a bit of paper Jimmy: ain't hard to make a ⛵ Janis: just don't let him go out in a torrential downpour like a fucking idiot then Jimmy: he's scared of 🎈 any road and going fucking anywhere without me Jimmy: be alright Janis: cute or annoying? Jimmy: How would I know? Jimmy: obvs a shit judge of character if I'm not 😍😍🤤 for 💀👑 Janis: or you cba to deal with her for a bigger tip than the one you get as is Janis: replaces minions with some frequency so, reconsider, babe Jimmy: about as much chance getting a tip off her as she does getting me to put even the tip in her Jimmy: done a crazy ex, and she ain't rich enough to make me reconsider having another go at it Janis: that's not a 😍😍🤤 mental image Jimmy: soz Janis: should be Janis: what kind of fake boyfriend Jimmy: [shows up to help her on this very short stroll to where the teacher's rooms which he absolutely doesn't need to do cos he's that kind of fake bf] Janis: ['what do you reckon Mr. Lucas deemed essential for this trip?' we chatting and walking] Jimmy: ['Old school porn mags about virgin school girls' because we treating him as so old he can't work the internet] Janis: [shudders 'too real' he has been there since gen 2 so in their minds you that old lol] Jimmy: [nudges her but then does the OTT catching her thing like obvs she's gonna fall just from that cos so injured] Janis: [more of a push than a nudge 'cos perfectly capable, tah] Jimmy: [we all know you just wanna touch her boy but takes a dramatic step back like okay then cos she was probably leaning on him at least a little bit] Janis: [😒 but striding out like fine] Jimmy: [takes a 🚬 from behind his ear cos #mood] Janis: [making this injury so much worse than it needs to be is the #mood here for you] Jimmy: [when you offer her the 🚬 after a bit cos sharing is caring even though you have loads now and don't need to share remotely] Janis: ['downgrade noted' miming 💔 but taking it like 😏] Jimmy: [we know you just wanted the excuse of passing it back and forth to walk closer to her again instead of hanging back] Janis: ['bet Ms Burke has bare booze an' all'] Jimmy: [irl 🤞 cos what you found earlier is long gone and they've probably drunk what they confiscated off you if it was better than what they brought #tahIan] Janis: [coming through for the teachers at least] Jimmy: [and he will be annoyed Jimothy took it in the first place so mission accomplished there 'looks like she put a fair bit of it away, better crack on before there's nowt left' and picking her up like you're taking ages gal but shamelessly just wanna] Janis: ['you've got a blatant kink' when you meant to sound pisstakey but deny it's not a mood so you end up sounded flirty anyway] Jimmy: ['it's only blatant if you keep tweeting about it' because we've gotta bring it back to fake or we'll die/do something we shouldn't] Janis: [looks down at herself being carried, like, 👌 but drops it 'so you finally admit you don't do everything'] Jimmy: [looks at her ankle 'be the size of your head if I don't, gotta admit that, you'] Janis: [shrugs like it doesn't matter as if the only thing that keeps you sane isn't running and other exercise] Jimmy: [shrugs back like he doesn't know that, at least on some level cos how sporty you are] Janis: [jumping down literally as soon as you can 'cos awkward and looking at him like 'impress me then'] Jimmy: [automatically steadies her when she jumps down because such a big brother but then we're cracking onto this breaking and entering cos wouldn't be that hard it's not exactly state of the art] Janis: [we just gotta kick it open and deal with the fact they'll probably assume it's you two] Jimmy: [they both wanna get in trouble it's fine] Janis: [mhmm] Jimmy: [kill some time looking through all their shit lads] Jimmy: [I like to imagine you both pissing about with the ugly teacher clothes too] Janis: [100%, and dragging their lives based on even the flimsiest of evidence 'cos fuck the police] Jimmy: [when you're having such a lovely time you don't even drink yet cos you don't need to] Janis: [we need to fuck with Mr. Lucas' stuff the hardest like actually go too far, so that he will remember, 'cos any other teacher, even if they're like 'you'll be in trouble when we get back!' would forget after 3-weeks, but he needs to remember so we can be straight in that detention moment after] Jimmy: [10000% approve of that because he's gotta become their nemesis] Janis: [actually shady we not just joking fully here] Jimmy: [mhmm it'll give you something else to bond over cos you're casually becoming friends and falling in love during this bit which would be a fantastic montage] Janis: [true tea, we can always use detentions to our advantage so why not, it's community service lite] Jimmy: [is there anything else we wanna have happen before the activity time finishes and he carries her into dinner and gets her food for her and everyone dies about it?] Janis: [unless we're gonna hit 'em with another #moment] Jimmy: [you know I wanna cos I'm that bitch but is it too #risky?] Janis: [nah 'cos they can hear something/someone and have to literally bolt 'cos teachers room] Janis: [then she'll need carrying legit 'cos running is not the one rn but have to] Jimmy: [that's such a mood like it's the equivalent of running and handholding but even cuter bye, try not to die because you're so in love rn kids] Janis: [so we kissing and not getting a phone out before this, just so we remember] Jimmy: [cos god knows I might not be allowed to write it in tags 😒 but important q is who initiated it?] Janis: [hmm, can be her] Jimmy: [okay go have your coupley dinner moment lads, they can't stop you sitting together now she's an invalid] Janis: [make him feed you so then you can feed him in a suggestive manner, they'll literally be fuming and starving at that] Jimmy: [god bless, and thank god you can kiss as much as you want rn cos you'd be fuming you got interrupted] Janis: [and you can go some 'cos doing the most to be the most so enjoy that] Jimmy: [we know that's the mood you're in rn lads and the teachers are already sick of you so who cares if they're bothered] Janis: [or anyone else like who do either of you like, so fuck 'em] Jimmy: [and it lends itself nicely to the vibe of putting on a show for whichever of the flatwhites are in your room afterwards because that still needs to be a thing] Janis: [we can separate them for a bit before that if you want though?] Jimmy: [why not, amp up the tension and sexy mood a bit further lol] Janis: [my thoughts exactly] Jimmy: [like we know he's fake nursing her again but the #mood is a very different one to the cuteness of sick bay earlier so] Janis: [yeah, clearly it's a sit-down type activity so you can't insist you need to work together now] Jimmy: [I dread to think what boring bollocks] Janis: 💤 Jimmy: 😎🔨 Janis: 😶 🦷🦷🩸🩸🩸 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: you'd have more intrigue, I reckon Jimmy: work hard not to look my 45 years though, don't I? Janis: you haven't had enough fake compliments? Janis: yes, so youthful, not a day over 38 😘 Jimmy: just saying it might look less like I were hiding my crow's feet and more like I were keeping it to myself that a bird pulled 'em out Jimmy: and how am I gonna do 😍 with 🚫👀 Janis: have to 🖐 Jimmy: [signs some fake compliments at her which we know aren't that fake] Janis: not what I meant but even without 👀 you have a better chance than me of getting it right Jimmy: I know you meant 🖕 but it'd have the fans in an uproar, Jasmine, think on Janis: I meant feel faces, you dick, not so un-PC that I don't know the difference between 😎 and 🔇 tah Janis: I'm keeping it goals here Jimmy: [comes over and shamelessly touches her face and hair in such a suggestive manner like 1. you meant like this yeah, I'm just getting my practice in 2. I'm keeping it goals too] Janis: still 😍 Jimmy: There you go then Jimmy: crisis averted Janis: get the ✂️ Jimmy: [we casually sending her doodles of all the ways they could die rn, starring adorable cartoon JJ's] Janis: such a dreamer, you 💘 Jimmy: romantic was taken by you Janis: obviously Janis: ask anyone Jimmy: had the Q&A a bit ago, babe Jimmy: you hit your head an' all? Janis: who was funny taken by, like? Jimmy: Ben's missus Janis: true Janis: shame Ben has a head like a turnip or I'd break them up for real Jimmy: that'll be why I said it, don't lie to mine, do I? Jimmy: don't have to get with him to do that Jimmy: I'll crack on to his soon to be ex Janis: if you think 🏉 heads are better Jimmy: Tah for the head's up, I won't feel hers Janis: lowkey got braille going on Janis: but you don't fake owe me that Jimmy: be a right laugh Jimmy: why wouldn't I? Janis: make you her next victim, probably why not Jimmy: I get it, you wanna be the one to 💀💀💀 me Jimmy: Alright, Jules, I'll steer clear Janis: that's the deal Jimmy: 🖋🩸 Janis: tempting Janis: jazz up this project Jimmy: Hang on, I'll open up a vein for you Jimmy: what could be more #goals? Janis: next Q&A, babe Jimmy: 👌 Janis: torture kink confirmed for Lucas 😩 Jimmy: nowt we weren't in the know about ages ago Janis: this is bold though Jimmy: you could boldly go back to sick bay Jimmy: they don't know you didn't hit your head, and one that size the headache would be 💀💀💀 Janis: no more fun that, is it Janis: may as well be bored here Jimmy: Depends Janis: I checked, the meds are shit Jimmy: but what Ms Burke uses to self medicate weren't that bad Jimmy: no 🍾 like, but you'd be alright Janis: I'm not as 😢 as her Janis: trying to get me drunk is a choice though Jimmy: right little ☀ you Jimmy: I'm trying to stop you whinging Janis: 'cos you're loving life Jimmy: no dickhead is, that'd be the point Janis: so 🤐 like it's a me problem Jimmy: I never said it were Janis: you was whinging bout it Janis: your table well interesting, yeah? Jimmy: You've got an excuse to do one, someone'd stop me before I smacked my head into the desk enough times for 🤕 Jimmy: that were what I said, nowt else Jimmy: take it or don't, girl Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: I told you, I'd be bored regardless, we don't need to go over it again Jimmy: Alright, fucking hell, forget I said owt Janis: Gladly Jimmy: 👍 Janis: if you want a break from your duties, I'll go rest after Jimmy: if you wanna tell me to piss off, do it properly Janis: fuck off turning shit around on me Janis: you want me to go now, just ignore me, no one is going to call us out if we give it a rest for a hot sec Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: fine Jimmy: is it? Janis: yes, stop asking like that Jimmy: stop being a massive twat Janis: why bother Jimmy: I don't want you to go nowhere, alright? Janis: alright Janis: what is it then? Jimmy: What? Janis: wha's wrong? Jimmy: What's wrong with you? Janis: Charming Jimmy: right Janis: you just seem moodier than normal, weren't calling you a total weirdo freak, was I Jimmy: Dunno, I read lips not minds Janis: another tagline Jimmy: give me my 🏆 whenever Janis: you know you want it off sir harder Jimmy: Mia's already deemed that non-goals, can't be a goer Janis: 💔 Janis: get it now Jimmy: 🎻🎻😭 Janis: Baby Janis: can't handle 🥈 Jimmy: you'll get used to it Janis: forgot my question mark, whoops Jimmy: yeah yeah Jimmy: I'm 🥇 ask anyone Janis: I'm the prize, ask anyone Janis: being nice to you, dickhead Jimmy: I'd have to give 'em a smack if I did do, that kind of fake boyfriend Janis: well 'ard Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: be less bored an' all Janis: getting to slag me off? yeah, you love it Jimmy: Getting to defend your honour, dickhead Jimmy: I'm the only one who gets to slag you off that's what 💕 is Janis: 😏 Janis: sounds about right Jimmy: should've probably phrased it more 🤓 for the screenshot Janis: where's my poetry, dickhead Jimmy: Hang on Jimmy: [writes her something actually good cos #muse] Janis: you save that from your crazy ex? Janis: s'clever, actually Jimmy: Do you see any other lass' name ❌? Janis: just think you were trying to remember mine, tbf Jimmy: What is it again? Janis: not important Janis: just stick with a pet name that makes us wanna puke Jimmy: Hers don't begin with the right letter, always get that far, me Jimmy: [draws her a doodle of a the JJ love heart for the first time ever] Janis: [mking sure the whole table sees so subtly] Janis: she weren't willing to change it? Janis: part-timer Jimmy: weren't willing to 💍👰 her, that were her next one Janis: your ex is a child bride? Jimmy: grim up north, you've been told Janis: that is 'it's their culture we shouldn't judge???!' grim though Jimmy: like I said, nowt to do with me Jimmy: if it stops her shagging half the north it'll be a bit less grim that she were Jimmy: *than Janis: 😬🤐 Jimmy: *😐 Janis: did you break up 'cos you came here, or was it ages ago? Jimmy: Did you not clock how unbothered I were there? Janis: that's just your face all the time Jimmy: *😒 Jimmy: That's my face Janis: 😍 there he is Jimmy: [makes her a paper boat and puts it on her desk] Jimmy: next time it's 😭 you've got that to piss about with Janis: [Blows him a kiss] Janis: 🤤🥴 you want me to get my arm ripped off by a clown? hot Jimmy: [IRL 😍 because we will lose ourselves if we're too real rn] Jimmy: #kinkunlocked Jimmy: That mean you'll let me 🪓🦶 or what? Janis: that's why you want me bedbound, all adding up now Janis: currently, I'll take it, do your best to do your worst, or whatever Jimmy: 🛏⛓ Jimmy: 🎀 Jimmy: You alright? Janis: gonna take Helena's pills, then I will be Jimmy: What's wrong? Janis: feels like someone's 🪓🦶 from the inside out Jimmy: Fuck this, I'm taking you to your room Janis: You don't have to, seriously Jimmy: [does though and tells the teacher that's what he's doing like I dare you to stop me bitch] Janis: [not in a position to argue, just like 'that's what they're for, she's got a slipped disc or some bollocks'] Jimmy: [casually having a row with the teacher like we're going good day and they do go and he puts her on her bed so gently like the softest boy and goes to get said 💊 soz Helena but not soz Mia if you do get the blame for this after having those couple under your pillow and more ice and an ankle support or whatever from the shit first aid like brb] Jimmy: how many? Janis: [oh boy you so pure] Janis: take another 2, please Janis: then I'll have 1 for tomorrow too Jimmy: One sec Janis: sorry Jimmy: What for? Janis: all this nonsense Jimmy: it's nowt Jimmy: be a load of bollocks if you were just sat there in pain when we can sort it piss easy Janis: I can't believe I even hurt myself, it's so stupid Janis: but if she notices, I'll get her better, don't worry, like Jimmy: When she notices, I'll let her know it were 💀👑 don't you worry Janis: maybe she won't, might be emergencies only type of shit Jimmy: doubt she'd be here if it were that bad Jimmy: 💀💀💀 trap that assault course Janis: by the time you get back, I will have curled up in a ball and died, and that's only a self-drag so, don't start Jimmy: What if it's broken? Janis: my ankle? Janis: it ain't, I'm 99% sure Jimmy: that 1% is 💔 Jimmy: be 100% for me, like Janis: alright, I am Janis: there's no way I'd have this much movement still, it was running on it earlier, that's all Jimmy: [we back cos we hurrying, give her that pill and some water and tuck the other one in her pocket for later (always so intimate boy) and put the ice on, then we're just sitting on the floor close as we can so she can have the entirety of the bed which would be Grace's as a correction corner cos I doubt he carried her up the ladder] Janis: [oh yes, soz to kick you out your bed gal, make later even more awkward lols, just hiding your face under the covers 'thank you'] Jimmy: [the softest 'hey' ever as you uncover her face and gently touch it cos you're worried that like she's in so much pain it's making her feel sick or something] Janis: [it is just shame and that should be apparent on her face, such a pitiful pout moment 'I am not this bitch, I swear'] Jimmy: [just brushing his thumb over her bottom lip like no put that away please 'I know' cos they may not know each other but he knows that much thankfully] Janis: ['can you stay, for a bit?'] Jimmy: [makes himself comfy on the floor next to her as a yes] Janis: ['you can get in, just don't literally sit on it and we'll be fine'] Jimmy: [bites his lip in a worried and adorable manner cos wants her to be comfortable but obvs does get in] Janis: ['don't worry, if you come across all rapey, still got both fists and one good leg' but gets comfy on him like, jk, I trust you] Jimmy: [a genuine lil smile cos we still worried but we're also amused and feeling a bit better] Jimmy: ['still got your teeth an' all, well deadly weapon them' always gotta be a bit saucy with it even in times of struggle] Janis: ['that's a different scenario altogether, gotta be nice for that to happen'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like oi cos he has literally been so nice and draws a halo round his head like excuse you] Janis: ['yeah, you have, but not like- you don't wanna' shakes her head and does devil horns on her own] Jimmy: ['I wanna - no you don't even go there sir shut your mouth and change what you were gonna say 'make sure you're alright' like true but] Janis: ['I know' smiles a bit, to reassure him 'these tabs are good so I'll either pass out or have a good time in the hottest of secs so, win-win'] Jimmy: [shakes his head but in an affectionate way] Janis: ['sorry I can't share'] Jimmy: ['You're alright' shrugs 'We've still got Ms Burke's stash to split' lowkey very much the last thing on his mind rn but we're on brand] Janis: ['go get it then' let's not gal full 😈 energy, but actually holding him around the waist so he cannot go anywhere 'cos rather this, we know] Jimmy: [snuggles into her more than he was like shh shh naughty baby 'in a bit' but we're not going anywhere] Janis: [happy sigh] Jimmy: [just being soft and quiet and snuggly] Janis: [go to sleep or you'll get loopy gurl] Jimmy: [both sleeping til Grace bowls in like a loud bitch not realising they are aka a my sister move] Janis: [SHOOKETH] Jimmy: [at least he can ask her how's she feeling because he genuinely wants to know but it's also goals] Janis: [when you say 'so much better thanks to you' 'cos genuinely but then you do the LOOK so the fake lives on] Jimmy: [just asking her if he can get her anything cos genuinely but giving her a LOOK back in case she wants to take it in saucy direction, for the fakery ofc yep] Janis: [when you get to go 'you' and pull him down for a smooch 'cos excuse, thanks so much lol] Jimmy: [enjoy that lads cos we're all sleepy and in our emotions] Janis: [can't JUST start the show when the other flat whites come in, how unrealistic, no other reason we're snuggling so hard and telling him how good he is] Jimmy: [I like to imagine that Grace is getting ready to fuck off to one of their rooms to leave you to it when they descend because you know Mia knows you've been through her shit but can't prove it] Janis: [you and everyone else sweaty] Jimmy: [literally get over yourself babe, the only room they didn't do were their own, you ain't special and we're 'ignoring' y'all] Janis: [so hard, like not even saying hi 'cos just so injured and so concerned and also so into each other] Jimmy: [as far as y'all are concerned nobody's even there except for Grace cos she was impossible to ignore soz not soz ladies] Jimmy: [also he's ignoring his phone going off cos that full attention ™ would make them die] Janis: [when has a boy ever or when have you ever 'cos don't care about any lad that much we see you two 💀 Jimmy: [Pablo wouldn't and neither would you bitches, do love that it adds to your new boy mystery though Jimothy cos they don't know you're raising your siblings and your dad's a prick] Janis: ['do you need anything?' 'cos not that bitch, again, unlike you two] Jimmy: [shameless excuse for a make out that we're taking, sucks to suck gals] Janis: [when it's lowkey soft but still intense, compared to going the hardest for full effect 'cos that's actually more impactful rn] Jimmy: [I love that even though we know it'd make JJ die more, soz you two] Janis: [having to be all types of vulnerable rn] Jimmy: [#doitforthevine cos again when have any of the flatwhites been vulnerable with anyone] Janis: [try to stay alive] Jimmy: [at least whilst you're dying you're taking them down with you] Janis: ['I can probably get in my bed if you want yours back' 'cos where even are you all, just standing watching, need some privacy here lmao] Jimmy: [Grace would be like it's fine because has been trying to get them all to leave since they got there but nobody's listening lol] Janis: [get in that top bunk anyway 'cos like, not fine, your friends are crazy] Jimmy: [don't worry gal he'll help you] Janis: [at least now you can communicate 'cos can't straight up be peeping that hard, 👍 like ?] Jimmy: [just nods cos we're more worried about her ankle and checking on that not because this is such an intense situation rn nope nope] Janis: '[it's really fine now!' in the like OMG, you're SO precious tone they would use but also tryna be like actually though] Jimmy: [making her comfy af anyway because you're that kind of boy] Janis: ['get comfy with me'] Jimmy: [does and does a really loud happy sigh that we'll never know if it's real or fake] Janis: [saying sorry that he has to stay in with her and asking if he's so bored then loud whispering all the ways she gon' make it up to him] Jimmy: [saying back that he could never be bored with her and he wants to stay even though they're all here because true and kindly take the hint that you aren't taking from Grace ladies] Janis: [honestly, what do you want, you have two other rooms you could be in, it's so blatant lol] Jimmy: [maybe all his loud whispering about what he's gonna do to take care of her, in the sauciest manner he could ever mean that will make you leave but unlikely, we know Grace and Hollie are doing the most to be like LET'S GO but] Janis: [the lookiest of LOOKS honey, 'what are we waiting for then?' loud enough to be a warning like bitches go] Jimmy: [he's taking clothes off of her rn so you better leave there's another warning] Janis: [bra on your head or something equally as comical] Jimmy: [Grace is going so you've literally got no excuse to stay now Mia but you do have an excuse to sleep with that boy that Grace was flirting with cos you so mad] Janis: [sorry bra head] Jimmy: [I love ruining her life so much it gives me life, I also love that JJ are shamelessly gonna carry on for a bit just in case they come back cos of forgetting something cos actually wouldn't put that past Mia or Ella tbh] Janis: [very dedicated] Jimmy: [mhmm not at all that you really wanna do everything you said you were gonna do] Janis: [mhmmmmmmmmmmmm, not at all awkward when you have to stop 'cos realistically they gone] Jimmy: [at least you can finally check what was popping off on your phone in case Cass or Bobby need you] Janis: [yes, a must, as per you just kinda stuck but esp. with your ankle so just relish in that awkward] Jimmy: [I'm gonna say he has to facetime him cos they'd be signing anyway so all the secrets are safe] Jimmy: [but checking on the bae throughout like do you need me to get you anything because that bitch] Janis: [v handy actually, just watching but not in a creepy way just interested] Jimmy: [casually gonna be the longest phone call ever as poor Bobby misses him] Janis: [poor bobert, hop down for a wee or something gal give some space] Jimmy: [you know he's gonna help you automatically even if you could actually hop over] Janis: [taking a shower just to kill time, even though he's probably gonna be #concerned ] Jimmy: [he's gonna be 😒 at you gal] Janis: [hohaha] Jimmy: [don't actually slip over or anything though that's the last thing we need] Janis: [being careful if you aren't gonna come in and reprimand us it fine] Jimmy: [I wish you would boy but that's risky for other reasons] Janis: [we know, not that shameless or bold quite yet] Jimmy: [one day kids] Janis: [are shameless enough to come out in your towel like bonjour] Jimmy: [cue his grumpiness cos 1. #concerned 2. we know what she looks like] Janis: ['what?' like you kinda know but you know, play like you truly don't have a clue] Jimmy: ['what do you mean what?' he's fuming] Janis: ['I felt gross' bit rude like 'cos YOU'VE been all over me but probably groggy from the meds and just spending more time than you ever in a bed 'it's fine'] Jimmy: [😒 af because we've jumped to the conclusion that she is saying because of him and also he hates all that it's fine bollocks] Janis: ['come on' throwing her hair towel thing at him once she's done drying it 'I didn't fall'] Jimmy: [throws it back at her a little bit too hard cos we know the 3. I didn't write is that the fam stuff has also got to him, cos Ian is the worst] Janis: [is honestly like oh! but we dropping it with a shrug 'cos clearly about more than you, you aren't that bitch either, just carrying on getting PJs on etc like alright] Jimmy: [go to get her some water to give her some privacy to put clothes on and also to give her as a peace offering] Janis: [just like tah with a head nod] Jimmy: [he's going to the window to 🚬 cos can't leave in case someone sees him] Janis: ['how long did we nap?' literally no concept 'cos never sleeps that well tbh] Jimmy: ['just for a bit' cos realistically wouldn't have been an age 'go back to sleep if you want'] Janis: [shrugs like 'could do' 'cos lowkey evenings on school trips are this awkward like what we gonna do] Jimmy: [just smoking in silence in case she does wanna but then after a while is suddenly like 'come here' cos sees Mia going into that lad's room but doesn't know who's it is] Janis: [does and is 😏 and already tryna do a zoom shot but misses 'come on then' 'cos gotta be nosy and life ruin] Jimmy: [gets his hoodie which is now hers and puts it on for her first including a zip up moment because she only has pjs on and he doesn't want her to be cold] Janis: ['A*' 'cos all part of the performance obvs] Jimmy: [we just shrugging cos we got places to be spying, 100% has also set a timer to see how long she's in there for that shade though] Janis: [lmao, this poor random boy 'I reckon this is his first time, you know'] Jimmy: [visibly cringing cos imagine your first time being with Mia, it'd be bad enough sleeping with her any time] Janis: [nods like mhmm, 'cos on some level you think he's JUST cringing about first times] Jimmy: [when he probably would think about his first time with the ex and cringe some more] Janis: [pushing him like 'focus' as if this is v v serious sleuthing] Jimmy: [pushes her back like oi because always, unrelated kinda but I think we should say it starts raining for that #mood] Janis: [love rain baby] Jimmy: [puts her hood up for her as a shameless excuse to touch her hair] Janis: [when it's still damp from the shower so this makes you smile like okay boy] Jimmy: [smiling back automatically and it's a cute lil moment ™] Janis: [messing up his hair 'cos likewise] Jimmy: [we falling in love again, quick boy gather what evidence you can without having to witness anything gross] Janis: [or being seen by miss thang, not stalking you in return tah] Jimmy: [she wishes, oh snap though what if Mr Lucas sees them] Janis: [JJ or Mia and poor boy? Jimmy: [JJ because he hates them and it amuses me like why you lurking in the rain sir] Janis: [how sinister, absolutely] Jimmy: [we'll let you finish your mission first, he don't need to interrupt that] Janis: [but a good reason to separate you again] Janis: I've got an 💡 Jimmy: but is it🥇? Janis: some would even say 🔥 Jimmy: Go on Janis: what if we repurpose the website we made for the computer project Janis: upload the 📸 and 📹s Jimmy: Alright Janis: it's a good idea Janis: I don't mean now, I mean when she really deserves it Jimmy: you don't reckon she deserves it now? Janis: she always does, obvs Janis: but she can do worse Janis: and we can probably get more RECEIPTS to make it more 🔥 Jimmy: and you'll get a bigger 🏆 off me Janis: priorities Jimmy: that's your top one, yeah Janis: idk if that's even my fake top priority Jimmy: Oi, don't protest too much, girl Jimmy: you'll bring Bill's 👻 out Janis: don't threaten me with a good time Jimmy: 👻 can't threaten you with owt Janis: or just moving my shit slightly to one side Janis: throwing a few plates, fucking with the radiowaves Jimmy: I'd only have to get it for you if I did do Jimmy: and grab myself the 🧹 Janis: 1. rude, because it's both your fault that I'm an invalid and your fault that you keep treating me like one 2. stick it up your arse and you'll have two hands free 👌 Jimmy: 1. never said I weren't gonna keep putting the work in, just that there's no need to create loads of extra Jimmy: 2. another 💡🥇 you're on one today, Janet Jimmy: 3. Why's it alright for you to threaten me with a good time? Janis: 1. didn't say that either, you clearly love it so why complain? 2. all I do is 🏆 you need to pay closer attention 3. 'cos I know how to have one, OBVS Jimmy: 1. you reckon this is me putting a complaint in? Bit awkward that 2. when I ain't off the clock I'll be sure to crack on with that and owt else your heart desires, babe 3. You know how to have a 💡🥇 it ain't the same thing Janis: 1. don't have a special form for it or a manager so, now's your only chance 2. 🤮 3. yeah, would know, as I have 'em both Jimmy: Keep on and I might take it Jimmy: but as things go, I told you 😒 just my face Janis: love it, I already told you I know Janis: say no more Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: 🤤 Janis: genuine Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: fake Janis: 👍 for clearing that up Jimmy: 👍 for not having genuine 💔 about it Janis: 🙄 imagine Jimmy: you're alright, tah Jimmy: don't need any nightmare #inspo Janis: 🎻 Janis: it'd be your privilege Jimmy: would be 😭🎻🗭😱 that were what I just said Jimmy: it's my privilege to be off the clock for a bit Janis: sound like an old lag Janis: enjoy your freedom Jimmy: that'll be 'cause I am Jimmy: Helena's 💊 wore off yet or what? Janis: what you saying? Jimmy: you heard me say it Jimmy: are you alright or what? Janis: you're bad at taking a break Jimmy: It's pissing it down, it'd put my 🚬 out Jimmy: you might as well answer me Janis: not all breaks last 15 minutes and include two 🚬s, you know Janis: do anything your 💘 desires Jimmy: sounds fake, that Jimmy: and my 💘 desires your answer, dickhead Janis: I'm alright Janis: felt better earlier, obviously Janis: but not taking no more from her Jimmy: have a drink then, I left it there Janis: want me to roll it down after? Jimmy: it might float away Jimmy: keep it for now Janis: 👍 more for me Jimmy: Oi Janis: yes? Jimmy: leave my share alone, pisshead Janis: well demanding Jimmy: how'd you work that out? Janis: don't you want me to manage my pain? Jimmy: it were my idea Janis: exactly, now you're being stingy Janis: Ms Burke knows how much you need to really take the edge off Jimmy: half'll get the job done, lightweight like you Janis: not even true Jimmy: you're not alright then Janis: I meant I'm not a lightweight Jimmy: and I meant, it's a bigger edge that you're telling me if you need owt more than your half to see it off Jimmy: *than Janis: Only taking the piss Janis: I'll save your half Jimmy: are you? Janis: Alright ✔ taking the piss ✔ Janis: be all good by the time we leave, I reckon Jimmy: 👌 Janis: are you Janis: was on the phone ages earlier Jimmy: Alright ✔ taking the piss ❌ Jimmy: didn't realise you had a ⏲ going Janis: no need Janis: escaped and had a shower, 'nuff said Jimmy: you do take ages Janis: fuck off Janis: got a lot of hair, ain't I Jimmy: taking the piss ✔ Jimmy: you're alright, reckon my ex's 🚿⏲ could give Gracie a run for her 💰 Janis: probably 😭 in there then Jimmy: 💔 she can't fit the full orchestra in Janis: have to be minted for that Janis: how big does a bathroom have to be, anything more than a box with a bog in is a flex Jimmy: bet 💀👑's is MASSIVE Janis: which one? 💁 Jimmy: her personal one, duh Janis: play 🎾 whilst you 💩 Jimmy: play ♟ with human sized pieces while you 🤮 Janis: human pieces if you could get the bloody staff 😤 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: some dystopian shit that Jimmy: she looks like she's crawled out of a warzone or some bollocks Janis: very zombie Janis: NEVER eat all those 🧠 though, zombie on a diet Jimmy: cancer ward would do an' all but she'd be about the pity too much for me to sign off on that one Janis: ugh, she'd be infuriating if she had a terminal illness Jimmy: she has Jimmy: and it's spread to 💀#2 Janis: nah Janis: well part-time Jimmy: obvs, rich girls ain't got no need to do owt full time Janis: 'cept be a mummy, when the time is right Jimmy: nah, that's part time an' all if you can get the staff Jimmy: and keep your husband away from 'em Janis: face like 💀? good luck Janis: poor nanny would only have to look vaguely human Jimmy: she won't keep a lad long enough to 💍👰 Jimmy: have to 💰👶 Janis: wouldn't put fuck all past her Janis: 💰🤵 Janis: why not Jimmy: 🛏⛓🦶🏻🪓 Jimmy: bit weird how it came back round Janis: 🛑 to 🤐? Jimmy: nowt weird about that Janis: it is your kink Jimmy: it were you who were genuinely 🤤 about me shutting up a bit ago Janis: and it was you that 🛏⛓ Janis: phase one almost complete Jimmy: if it were, you wouldn't be pissing about going for 🚿s Janis: well soz I got away Jimmy: me an' all, obvs Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: If you think of a kink that don't involve 🛏 you can hmu Jimmy: 🤯 Jimmy: I've got nowt else to offer you, soz Janis: damn Janis: guess I'll be taking loads of 🚿s Jimmy: don't give me a bell when you twist your other ankle then Janis: 🥺 Janis: what if Ben ain't as good at fetching me things Jimmy: that'll mean you ain't as good a trainer as you reckon Jimmy: but go on and give him them 👀 Janis: you're right Janis: that's ridiculous Janis: obviously I'm 🥇 Jimmy: There you go then Janis: it's been fake Janis: gotta dash Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I know, the 💔 is real Jimmy: I can't 😭 if you keep on Janis: performance anxiety Janis: cute Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: it's gonna take you ages to dash anywhere, you better crack on Janis: rude Janis: I'm great at 🦩 Jimmy: you are always 😳 Janis: *never Jimmy: never @ Ben Jimmy: you've got that right Janis: if Ben asked me to fake it an' all, I could Jimmy: duh Jimmy: nowt you wouldn't do for that lad Janis: not fake anal Janis: need to save something for the fake honeymoon, tah Jimmy: You're alright, it don't count for you god fearing paddys Janis: that's Ben's line Janis: not my pimp Jimmy: be knackering, well in demand, you Janis: thanks? Jimmy: I'll leave you to it then, mate Janis: night Jimmy: in a bit Janis: left your hoodie on your door Jimmy: it's yours Janis: it's not though Jimmy: is til we're done Jimmy: so unless you're 💔 me for Ben tonight, have it back Janis: I'll give it back tomorrow Janis: got plenty of hoodies that could be yours at home Jimmy: 👌 Janis: oh Janis: and I left the bottle Janis: grab that 'fore Ms Burke sniffs it back out Jimmy: you need a hand back? Janis: depends Jimmy: ? Janis: where that hand is taking me Jimmy: Depends Janis: I'm not getting back in fucking bed Janis: I'll get sores Jimmy: I'll flip you over Jimmy: 💪 me Jimmy: and I've got that 👻 rep to keep Janis: steady Janis: 😏 Janis: not gonna start a new rep being one of those lonely women who has paranormal orgasms Jimmy: I get it, no threat of a good time Jimmy: where do you wanna go then? Janis: mhmm Janis: after I ❌ out 🍑 stuff and everything, still tryna see it from the back Janis: I dunno, there has to be something less deadly than the assault course Janis: the lake? Jimmy: Alright Janis: I'm gonna go mental if I don't get out Jimmy: I said alright Jimmy: hang on Janis: finish whatever's keeping you busy Jimmy: [appears like a 👻] Janis: [faux 😱 for the horror movie moment] Jimmy: [passes her the bottle he's just taken a swig from automatically] Janis: [raises a brow 'cos had her half, clearly, but as clearly does not turn it down] Jimmy: [picks her up obviously] Janis: ['you know it's a way down there-' gestures in the general direction '-yeah?'] Jimmy: ['that'll be why you need carrying' cos he's like stop walking about ffs, such a worrier] Janis: [tuts 'go halves with you on that tab tomorrow at this rate, boy'] Jimmy: [such an OTT fake offended face to hide that he actually is] Janis: [pinches his cheeks and his biceps 'n'awh, you're good, just saying, don't try to come for me for your physio'] Jimmy: [pretends that he's gonna drop her cos she's messing about like don't come to me for yours] Janis: ['I'll drag you down with me' looking at the muddy ground and looking at him like, game if you are] Jimmy: [SUCH a LOOK] Janis: ['think of the photo op' trying to sound casual but not] Jimmy: [puts her down and gets his phone out, giving her the same kind of impress me then look that she gave him earlier when he broke into the teacher's rooms] Janis: [gets down, with however much difficulty, on her knees, then gets back up with the same and points at the mud like, see what I'm saying here, 'cos in PJs so lot of skin we could cover] Jimmy: [just looking at her like don't hurt yourself babe] Janis: [😒 'come on'] Jimmy: [comes over and smears mud on her 😒 face and you know it's meant to be in a pisstakey manner but it's just saucy] Janis: [gets her phone out so she can film the kiss she gives him to get that mud on his face] Jimmy: [not at all casual makeout sesh enusing] Janis: [pulling him down in the mud like you said you would] Jimmy: [so #into it whenever and wherever we know] Janis: [again, these pics such an after-thought immediately] Jimmy: [still gonna pull you into his lap though as an excuse to keep you in frame, no other reason at all] Janis: ['you like me here, yeah?' under the vague pretense we 📹 as per] Jimmy: [when you just nod because even though we're 'filming' you don't trust yourself not to say something you shouldn't] Janis: [shifts somehow closer so they're fully pressed together 'what about here?'] Jimmy: [a NOISE because it's the perfect answer for this 📹 but also real af] Janis: [a noise in return 'you're so fucking-'] Jimmy: ['you' and kissing her really hard before she can dispute it] Janis: [bye phone tbh] Jimmy: [you did better at pretending than I thought you would lads tbh] Janis: [well done for even bothering babe] Jimmy: [literally] Janis: [wouldn't have if you had a clue what he was thinking ever but there we go, as is the fake dating era of it all] Jimmy: [it's very much the same for him if it's any consolation gal] Janis: [it ain't for her but it is for us lmao] Jimmy: [we love it soz not soz] Janis: [this is v cinematic] Jimmy: [at least you'll have to get in the lake to get all this mud off so that'll be a #mood too] Janis: [don't get hypothermia though pls] Jimmy: [god it would be so cold I can't even imagine] Janis: [gonna need to snuggle it's the law] Jimmy: [yaaaas, can and will send him back for a duvet if necessary too] Janis: [your school is never being allowed back 'cos of you two lmao] Jimmy: [you're welcome kids of the future who won't have to do all this bollocks] Janis: [tbh] Jimmy: [gonna vote for more rain when they in the lake to make it even more cinematic] Janis: [hundo] Jimmy: [what a beautiful evening] Janis: [we out here in a romcom in all the ways] Jimmy: [mhmmm] Janis: [how we keeping this PG-13 bois] Jimmy: [realistically we might have to give you something else to pretend didn't happen lol] Janis: [mhmm agreed] Jimmy: [no stopping that mud moment if we're being real] Janis: [s'what I'm thinking] Jimmy: [what happens on this trip stays on this trip so we'll allow it] Janis: [deal with that later] Jimmy: [you lowkey both think there won't be a later and you'll just not have to deal because he's holding onto that false hope of leaving very hard and you aren't planning to string out this fake dating that long regardless] Janis: [imagine if he left lmao, just never seeing this boy you lost your v to like did it even happen] Jimmy: [I will not imagine that because how sad] Janis: [soz that ain't happening boy but not at all] Jimmy: [it all works out in the end, you're both welcome] Janis: [but for now, what are we doing] Jimmy: [you two should probably get some sleep if you ever get warm/stop snuggling post lake] Janis: [are we separating though?] Jimmy: [they'll sleep better if they're together so it depends how mean we wanna be] Janis: [how you vibing lads] Jimmy: [we could make a case for keeping your distance after all that romanticness but also saying fuck it if you've come this far] Janis: [hmmmmmmm, I'm saying she's down to say fuck it, like you don't need to chat about that either if you just do it] Jimmy: [his room or hers] Janis: [we've woke up in her room once so switch it up for that max coverage] Jimmy: [good idea boo] Janis: [crack on] Jimmy: [have your spoon and get some sleep, you must be knackered]

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rfschatten · 4 years

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COVID-19 & the Rise of Prairie Populism

“By Failing to Prepare, you are Preparing to Fail” ~~~ Benjamin Franklin

We have arrived at the most critical moral point of this Pandemic Crisis. Where the Economy and the Health Crisis are beginning to collide with each other.

Yes, something has to be done to keep the economy running …the little businesses are suffering the most, and do have a good legitimate reason to re-open. Wall Street & Corporate America wants it open for their own greedy reasons. And Donald Trump desperately wants to open up, the most! His re-election hangs on his chance of a good economy …cause if he loses, they’re going to take him and “lock him up”!

On the other side of this moral dilemma, you have thousands that soon will be in the hundreds of thousands of Deaths, and Millions who eventually may easily become hundreds of million Infected by COVID-19.

One side wants to keep enforcing CDC Protocol cause they value human life and will observe all protocols till it’s over. On the other side, almost everyone values human life, too …but financial stress, and different situations are forcing some to look at things a little differently. Things not normally thought about. How many deaths are “acceptable” for the country, that they can get back to work?

For a while Trump & Pence have been saying; Soon, we all have to make some tough decisions on life and death. Chris Christie publicly said; 3,000 Deaths/Day is acceptable collateral damage to keep the Economy running. The Federal Government wants the economy to succeed at all costs, and to overshadow the Pandemic, …cause that’s Trump’s eminent Waterloo.

And for the economy to succeed, the US Gov’t prefers to accept the notion of acceptable “collateral damage” …like in a Nuclear Attack? That’s Trump’s Capitalism!

We, the People are just a “commodity” in a Trump Economy post-COVID019.

An Administration that intents to phase down the Medical portion of their Pandemic policies and begin the Economic Recovery phase, as soon as possible …while people are still dying daily by the thousands…is simply committing Public Policy Genocide. As Yale Epidemiologist Gregg Gonsalves said; “What else do you call mass deaths by public policy”?

The Federal Government pretty much is saying; Americans can be sacrificed in order for the economy to grow.

The problem this stable genius can’t understand is; the Millions infected, and pretty soon the hundreds of Millions are not going out anywhere for a while, or on any type of shopping spree! …not until this Virus is taken care of and stopped, the Nation is not going to economically recover!

The value of Human Life? or the value of the US Dollar? That’s the moral of the story of what 2020 is all about!

Donald Trump wants to own the moment, he wants to be the almighty superhero who saved America from a catastrophic global pandemic. When he, and he alone knows how to stop the viral infection …and all his followers, will eventually follow him straight off the cliff!

Why are Batshit Trumpers considered America’s Village Idiots?

In a recent poll, 90% of Republicans trust Trump for COVID-19 information rather than the CDC & all Medical Professionals!

When you believe a man who publicly has made more than 18,000+ lies in 3 years, over Medical professionals …yes! you will die! But, not for your country or not for your family, but for someone who only cares ‘if’ you live, for your vote in November.

The Donald’s biggest problem? He never expected anything like this to occur, a crisis that transcends politics and transcends his life of lies. A crisis where he really does have to become and act presidential, be a true leader & show some leadership …but, he’s clueless on how to lead…and no one cares about his rhetorical bullshit anymore. He knows he’s out of his league, out of his element …he’s like a fish out of water …everything is way over his head, and he just doesn’t know how to handle it.

REALITY just bitch slapped the TV Reality Superstar. Let me introduce myself…hope you guess my name!

At a time when the country might forgive him, even just a little, and give him his just due if he only just comes out honest and truthful with the population …his demented mind pushes harder to make people hate him even more!

Trying to intimidate Governors and civic leaders with his quid pro quo’s…you do this for me and we’ll give you what you need. Intimidating everyone into opening the Nation up for business ASAP, to quickly recover the economy so he can get re-elected.

Making the States suffer without supplying the needed equipment or the needed Tests, and only giving them the bare minimum unless they all kiss his big, not so lovely tush.

But, nothing’s worse than the most disgusting thing our Gov’t has ever done to any of the States during a state of emergency. Making States go into a bidding war …in the middle of a pandemic! …for supplies against other States, Foreign Governments, Corporations, and even the U.S. Government, itself?!?!

The States are literally on their own… a Federal Government that says; “I take no responsibility whatsoever”. A Federal Government that says; We won’t lead you, we’ll just back you up.

2 Governors, a Democrat, and a Republican secretly ordered and sent planes to pick-up their desperately needed Medical Supplies from China. Secretly, because they’re both afraid of Trump confiscating it, and taking it to boost their own National Stockpile Supply.

The V.A. bought 5 million masks for Veterans and VA Hospitals across the country. FEMA confiscated it all and took it to boost Trump’s National Stockpile. Meanwhile, people are continuously dying and no one’s getting the needed masks!

The plane trips were secretly kept. But Larry Hogan, the GOP Governor of Maryland, went one up to secure the needed (500,000) Test Kits, and has them secretly stashed away and guarded by the “National Guard” & the “Maryland State Police” so the Feds don’t take them away!

You can’t make up shit like this, folks!

Now, he won’t give sanctuary Cities the emergency funding they desperately need, unless they remove the sanctuary status and permit ICE to round-up “Illegal” Immigrants.

When has any State or anyone ever gone through such cruel extreme measures? When has the American Government ever treated its Citizens with so much disdain and disrespect? And even worse, during such catastrophic times of health & human crisis?

He’s been working on plans to keep everything open since the Virus arrived when advised of the possibility of states and cities closing down.

For 70 days he jerked the Nation around trying to make believe the Virus was a hoax, all to keep his economy from collapsing.

Opening the country up is against his own official White House Policy! Against the advice of the CDC! the advice of Dr. Fauci, Dr. Redfield, Dr. Birx, & Doctors everywhere!

His obsession with irresponsibly pushing a Malaria drug for this Viral infection …against the recommendation of all Medical Professionals. Though it’s not hard to see why he’s pushing it like if he was the star spokesman for the company. Wonder how much money, stock, or what kind of deal Trump/Kushner Inc. has invested in the maker of Hydroxychloroquine …Mylan Pharmaceutical?

Now, he’s gone off his rocker once again…only this time it veers into the extreme far side of the bizarre! His latest push? Injecting yourself with disinfectants, including bleach!

Also, Injecting yourself with a tiny UV light that will miraculously kill the Virus in your bloodstream …I suppose if you believe that crock of horseshit! You only inject yourself with disinfectants if you’re committing suicide …cause that’s what will happen!

And he still considers himself a stable genius?

The next day, he tried to push it back, saying he was just kidding with the press …when a replay of the press conference showed him directing his spiel directly at Dr. Birx.

Nothing has gone right since he was sworn in. The Russians hacking the elections, the Ukraine scandal, all his women scandals, all his daily scandals, all the embarrassments throughout the world, all the fiasco that occurs no matter where he goes or what he does …and naturally, his Impeachment for life!

Now, a massive gigantic screw-up of devastating proportions that might very well end his presidency. Yes, his natural stupidity can be a factor …but this professional Puppet appears to be on the loose & on his own …and that, really is dangerous.

What are his motives?

His top priority …opening up the country and build up the economy at “all cost”, over a deadly Viral infection that can potentially kill in the millions. His priority is the Economy …no matter how many people die. It’s not his concern as he keeps saying; “I am not responsible at all”. Who cares how many people die? …not this President!

Telling people to Free their States and gather in mass which would immediately triple the population of Positive Tests …he keeps misrepresenting the truth. telling people he’s doing a ‘tremendous job’ and while keeping the virus down to only 30,000 deaths, then to 50,000, now that’s he’s doing such a good job, he’s going to contain the virus down to only 100,000 deaths.

A typical Trump trait…brag how stupid he is to the only people who will believe his horseshit. Now, by getting his minions to protest their Constitutional rights of not wearing any protective gear, the real Professionals are talking about the real possibility of hundreds of millions testing positive and millions dying.

He started a Prairie Fire telling his 2nd Amendment followers for an armed uprising over their States …calling for a rebellion against a State Government is sedition, and for the President to suggests people to rebel, that’s “Treason”!

While all along purposely lying, misleading, or delaying all the millions of test kits, which is the Federal Government’s total responsibility of distributing!

Donald Trump doesn’t want any more Test Kits! …he doesn’t want the public to see how many more people are infected! It’s not conducive to his top & only priorities …making money and getting re-elected.

Gloria Steinham once said; “The Truth will set you free, but first, it will piss you off”.

The reason Trump’s having more and more meltdowns during this Pandemic is that he’s continuously pissed off …no one believes his lies anymore …and he knows it.

The Truth hurts when you know and you’re forced to privately admit, you really are a nobody! …when your emotional and delusional bubble of illusions burst and you’re faced with the reality of life.

That’s when Trump realized he really does own the moment…lock, stock, & barrel!

And there’s no way out …he can remain in self-denial, but whether he likes it or not, he’s totally responsible for all the Positive Viral Cases and totally responsible for all the Deaths.

He can’t blame it on anybody this time, though Obama is always his usual target for one thing or another …it’s all happened in the 3 yrs of his Presidency..during his watch!

Hey, Donald! You wanted to be President? You got it! It’s your job, now go out and work for the first time in your life and do it right, or in November …’ you’ will be Fired!

The first Human Coronavirus was discovered in the 1960s …more recently, the 2002–2004 SARS Pandemic outbreak & 2012 MERS Pandemic, raged havoc.

Medical Scientists and Epidemiologists from the US had been closely working together with their Chinese counterparts in China for a long time (till Trump removed them in 2020) They’ve been tracking a new strain until they finally traced it to Wuhan 3 years later.

How bad would this Pandemic have been if a prepared Nation would’ve been notified since 2016?

It happened on his watch …and he knew about it the whole damn time!

He was warned more than a couple dozen times since 2016. First, during the transition period in 2016. the Pandemic policies from the Obama Administration, including supplies and preparedness guidelines were explained and passed on to the Trump Administration. They were told that a new little known strain of Coronavirus, totally different from the last two, was out there …but they haven’t traced it to anywhere, yet!

In 2018 he was warned at least twice, that’s when he fired the White House Pandemic Team. He was warned again over a dozen times in 2019.

1. Why would he fire medical experts on Pandemics with a Global Pandemic outbreak about to explode in the United States?

2. And now that it’s here, and knowing the gravity of the situation …why fire Dr. Rick Bright, the man who was on the development end of the COVID-19 Vaccine, right in his tracks? …while 82,000+ die and over 1.4 Million identified, out of all the unidentified hundreds of millions that are getting Infected daily?

3. Why did he warn Israel of the incoming Pandemic in November of 2019? yet, didn’t warn the American Public till 70 days after he was warned again by the CDC on Jan. 3rd, 2020, confirming the imminent arrival of COVID-19? The CDC officially warned the American public on Jan. 8th, 2020.

4. Why did the Administration’s Health & Human Services turn down an offer on Jan. 22nd…the day after the 1st US Coronavirus case was identified…from Texas’ Prestige Ameritech, the largest surgical face mask producer in the United States…to manufacture 1.7 Million N95 Masks per week?

Why is Donald Trump deliberately doing all of this? Does he really believe his own stable genius BS? Is it all his natural incompetence? This man may be a degenerate psychopathic screaming narcissist …but someone is pulling this puppet’s strings!

When you have a blatant lifelong coward who never takes responsibility for any of his actions, his failures, or his blunders …you’re going to see a lot of Psychological Projection …blame anybody or everybody for everything he ever does. No one in History can psychologically project any better than Bonespurs Donny!

And no one has had more conspiracy theories about everything imaginable in just 3 years, than this faker. His latest blame game? He blames China for developing a man-made Virus in their labs, which has been debunked by our own intelligence agencies, the CDC, WHO, as well as the medical professionals in his Task Force, and experts around the world.

He’s also blaming the World Health Organization for not warning him early enough …I guess 2016, 2018, 2019, & 2020 is not early enough!

All these Red State Governors are more interested in making a fast buck than the health of their constituents…they’re opening up their States to everything, as more and more people start ignoring rules and trying to go back to the old normal. Revolt against authority for the right to” go back to work”.

So far, a few are opening but the smell of spring air, the lure of the heat, and hoping for a nice summer breeze is too fascinating to pass up, causing all these people to congregate in the parks and the beaches, refusing to follow medical advice.

Take all these people, and add the ignorance of NeoNazis & gun-toting Batshit Trumpers…those that Trump calls “very good people”, just like the “Very Fine People” in Charlottesville.

They hear their beloved leader subliminally order them to go and cause havoc by “liberating” Michigan and other States …and off they go with no respect to whom they hurt or infect.

The latest projections on how many will die during the summer, now that Trump is allowing America (against all Medical advice & recommendations) to open up …an estimate of over 3,000 deaths daily through the summer with the infection rate in the hundreds of millions, assured. All for spending a day frolicking on the beach.

And now, when Trump’s beloved MAGA followers get pissed off and angry with cries for help as more and more get sick, and more and more start dying of COVID-19 ...what will he do?

How will Donald, who’s a man with absolutely zero empathy or compassion, an anti-altruistic human being, and a sociopath with a seriously severe “schadenfreude” complex …respond to these people?

You have his minions, those too stupid who’ll still follow him of that cliff, and you have those who’ll refuse to jump, turning on him, and try to stay alive! How will he respond? …how will he answer them without pissing off one side or the other?

When everyone else acts with dignity & respect …expect this fool to be his normal self. Pity his beloved supporters.

But just remember, all you good Trumpers; “I take no responsibility at all”!

So! America, wake up and smell the coffee! Stop living life in self-denial …and face the reality of COVID-19.

1st, STOP LISTENING to Politicos who have absolutely no experience, knowledge, or any idea whatsoever in Medicine to give you advise and updates …especially Trump, with his agenda of lies, misinformation, and misleading statements, all along while pushing a Malaria Drug that hasn’t been proven it works, although it’s proven that it kills. Also, all his Lysol, Clorox, and UV light cockamamie injections!

2nd, START LISTENING to the Medical Professionals and Medical Scientists, who know what they’re doing, people like Rick Bright, Anthony Fauci, Deborah Birx, and Bob Redfield!

The awful truth about COVID-19: Only 2.95% of our 350 million population has been tested …so, how many more than the current 1.4 million that tested positive are going to be “Positive” too? -

This bug is not going anywhere, anytime soon! It’s not going away for summer vacation, it’s not going to be gone with the wind, it’s not going to be here today and gone tomorrow, it’s not going to just be gone one day as the President tries to convince his base …and it’s not going to magically disappear one day, as Trump says; “It’s going to go away without a vaccine”!

COVID-19 is here to stay! It’s going to be our guest for a year or two, or more …remember, it will not ever be eradicated until a Vaccine is found!

Don’t fight the new normal, just go with the flow …the quicker We, the People use our natural intellect and do things right, the quicker we can get back to the old normal.

So! If you want to stay alive through 2020 and beyond? …Remember, November!

#Coronavirus #covid-19 #Donald Trump #Pandemic #2020 election #genocide #CDC #world health organisation coronavirus #coronavirus deaths #virus

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ben-the-hyena · 5 years

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About Mighty Eagle and Zeta

[[SPOILER]]

So we know Mighty Eagle didn’t feel ready for marriage yet, as much as he was in love with Zeta, he was too scared to tell her no so he ran away simply not to face the consequences, absolutely not aware she was gravid (did she not know yet ? Did she want to keep the surprise ?). Immature, but yeah he was too scared and it’s implied she might have been a bit too early too (they were either in their late 10′s or their early 20′s), he might have been too young to think more and the way we know Mighty, he’s never really grown up after years of being an idol so he didn’t really get to mature up a little until the movies

Well I realized an interesting thing : When Mighty Eagle reveals the main flock who Zeta is, he starts by saying she’s the leader of Eagle Island. So that means she didn’t become a dictator after he left, but already was a leader (either benevolent or still malevolent) as young as they were. One could say because he guessed she had become so since she was behind the attacks on the islands, but she could have done so by being a mafiosa, a scientist, a general, etc. He had to know she was the leader

So it means she had become the leader after high school. I don’t know how eagle society works, if she was a heir, or if they vote or if since they’re carnivorous birds have to do more violent rituals, but either way she became the supreme leader of a whole island

What if he was also scared of the responsability of being the husband of the leader of a whole country ? Being a leader’s boyfriend is one thing, but husband... More responsibilities in a way, paparazzi and scandal risks that would disminish his freedom and tarnish her reputation, and again he was young, his teenhood barely ended. He always liked being carefree, so what if not only he didn’t feel fully ready for any marriage in general, but even less for a marriage with the most important politician around and having to change his attitude to fit her image now their relationship would be considered as official to the people. Poor young Zeta, and also poor young Ethan/Mighty

Also changing subject, but it’s still about that wedding he never went to : when Zeta mocks Red and Silver as her prisonners, and that she ends up comparing them too much to her and Mighty/Ethan in a little mysandrist way and how he gave up on her, she mentions 2 things interesting

First of all, she notes he wanted “to save everybody all by [him]self” ; sure it’s like Red, but since she was mostly talking out of her experience with her ex, it was probably about him. But Mighty Eagle wasn’t a saviour before reaching Bird Island ? How did she know ? Since she knew where he left, did she hear what he was doing there in a solo career of rescuing superstar and it (understandindly) frustrated her that he was helping people and didn’t came back to her and their daughter (to his defense, he had no idea she existed) ? Or since she was already a leader, maybe he was trying to tell her to do her job and it annoyed her ? Maybe she was already evil (come on, if she was kind by nature she wouldn’t have went full psycho after being dumped. All the flashbacks were only from Ethan’s POV and since he loves her he only mentionned her good sides), and since at heart, despite being an egocentric jerk, he DOES sincerely want to save and protect people, she could have maybe mistreated or tortured minions who didn’t go her way and he didn’t like that and they argued about it ? Or defended/saved them when they were supposed to be arrested and she hated when he played the hero ? If so that could have been another reason why he wouldn’t have felt so sure about marrying her. Who would feel safe marrying someone with disturbing priorities and morals ?

And second, when she starts talking alone in frustration, she imagines reasons why he could have left. Maybe she was too early, she supposes ; which was one of the main reasons since Mighty Eagle does confess “I wasn’t ready”. But. She also supposes “maybe she was too clingy”. Sure, my own ex stopped loving me because at some point I became so, it’s sadly recurring to first time lovers who don’t really know how to handle that new concept called “love” yet (and for those who don’t know me enough, don’t worry we’re good friends now and I love someone else). Except... Mighty Eagle never ever had a flashback or a mention in which she was clingy. In everything he said and in all the flashbacks we saw, she never seemed clingy at all. They were very good lovers to each other, who had fun, knew how to laugh out of a disastrous situation as long as they were together, they mutually loved all the activities they did together. In fact, Mighty Eagle actually thinks the relationship got fucked up solely because of him. He was wrong to abandon her without talking and to have told her yes to then give up afterwar, but he had the right not to feel ready, but he still felt guilty to have felt so. He never stopped to feel guilty. So to him it was never Zeta’s fault, and he never found her clingy, to him she had the right to be ready but he shouldn’t have not felt so. So he put the fault on himself. However, Zeta didn’t know that. And she self-blamed, like a lot of dumped lovers do. Sure she hid it under anger and evil deeds, but she secretly always felt guilty, for 20 years she thought she might have been in the wrong in a way. And suffering from the absence of answer, she could only suppose. In both cases her fault, she thought. Either she had been too early (which was the case indeed to his eyes), or she was clingy and she had not realized and it made him run away (which was not true but she could only imagine things he could have seen and not her ; but she didn’t see that because it simply wasn’t happening)

I... didn’t know I would ever analyze characters’ love problems from an animated movie with butt jokes and toilet humor

#spoilers #angry birds #read more #zeta #mighty eagle #no special tags because spoilers #moi #oh poor one...#sad

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scintillating-galaxias · 4 years

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i’ll be the wind beneath your wings (ch. 5)

and here we are, the final chapter of my swap gift to @peppervl! i hope you liked your gift! (read it on ao3!)

The Day After Armageddon

Centuries passed. Humanity grew. The world morphed into something new and unrecognizable. The end of everything thundered on their doorstep and was sent away again. They lost—

I don’t need you.

— they found—

Lift home?

And somehow, the same angel and the same demon from six thousand years ago found each other in the storm.

You can stay at my place if you like.

They huddled together for refuge inside of Crowley’s flat, tired—so, so tired—but they could not rest yet. The War was over, but the battle was not.

“They aren’t going to be happy with us,” murmured Aziraphale. He still had enough energy to anxiously pace before Crowley, who was sprawled in his… throne? It certainly looked like a throne. “I mean—you saw Gabriel. He looked ready to smite me. And Beelzebub. Oh, we shouldn’t have antagonized them—”

Crowley listlessly stared at the ceiling as Aziraphale spoke, lazily swinging his sunglasses. “It was worth it, though,” he replied after a moment.

“I mean, of course, Gabriel’s face was priceless, but what are we going to do? They’ll send their armies after us as retribution for stopping their War!”

“Maybe.”

“Twenty million angels and demons. All after me and you.”

“That’s a big number, alright.”

“We might be put to death, even. I doubt we’ll get a trial, not after everything we’ve done.”

“Probably.”

“Crowley, this is serious! Why—?”

“Angel,” said Crowley. He sounded so weary, yet a small, crooked smile pushed its way across his face. “C’mere.”

Aziraphale came. Step by step, until he stood before Crowley and his smile. He held out his hand. Aziraphale took it and sighed shakily as Crowley squeezed it.

“I’m sorry,” Aziraphale mumbled. “I’m just—I’m scared. For us.”

“We’re going to be fine,” Crowley said, in such a soft but knowing way that Aziraphale could almost believe him right away.

Almost.

“I—appreciate the vote of confidence, but how?”

Crowley rubbed his thumb along Aziraphale’s knuckles. “We’ll come up with a plan, and it’ll work. We’re smarter than all of Heaven and Hell combined. Gabriel thinks he has something going on up there, but we all know that’s a load of tosh.” Aziraphale chuckled weakly. “And Beelzebub—they’re crafty, I’ll give ‘em that much, but they learned it all from me.”

“We can’t rely on wits—or lack thereof—alone!”

“And we won’t,” Crowley assured. “We’ve got something else, too.”

“And what may that be?”

“Time.” Crowley snapped his fingers. His throne morphed into a very cushy looking couch. He lightly tugged Aziraphale down. The red velvet cushions were precisely as plush as they appeared to be. “Beelzebub’s got to get all of their little minions in line again, and so does Gabriel. Dunno about angels, but demons are a rowdy bunch on a good day, and horrid little buggers on a bad one, and I would say this is a very bad day for Hell.”

“What are you implying?”

“I,” said Crowley, “am implying that they aren’t going to break down my front door in the next thirty seconds, and that we can relax.”

Aziraphale let out a long breath and slumped against Crowley’s side. “You’re right. I suppose I got myself rather worked up.”

“I’ll say. I thought you were supposed to be the rational one.”

“Goodness, no, have you met me? Weren’t you the one to stop time just earlier today?”

“...I panicked.”

“Oh, dear.” With the initial rush panic mostly washed away, Aziraphale felt empty. Like the tide had come in and taken everything with it when it went back out. “Well, it was impressive, nonetheless.”

Crowley barked a laugh. “Don’t ask me to do it again anytime soon. I think I’ll discorporate.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it. You must be exhausted.”

“Could sleep for another hundred years,” Crowley said, and it was then that Aziraphale truly heard the exhaustion lacing his words.

“Well, maybe not that long,” said Aziraphale. “I’d be lonely with you, my friend.”

Crowley glanced at him, a knowing glimmer sparkling in the corners of his tired eyes. “Fine,” he said. “Until morning, then. But if you wake me up before eleven, you’ll have bigger problems than Heaven and Hell to worry about.”

Aziraphale huffed a laugh and bumped his head against Crowley’s shoulder. “Go on then. We can discuss our strategy over tea in the morning. I’ll keep myself entertained. I’m sure you have a book or two somewhere around here.”

Crowley nodded slowly. After a few seconds, he stood up and strode over to a wall. He put one palm on it, then turned back to Aziraphale. Crowley was never one to look his age, but now the lines around the corners of his eyes betrayed a sort of ancient weariness that only came with seeing the beginning and the end of the world in your lifespan. “I’ll see you in the morning, angel.”

It certainly sounded like goodnight. But there was an individual note of reluctance playing in Crowley’s voice that Aziraphale hesitated at.

“Yes,” he said instead of pressing it. “Have a good sleep.”

“...Yeah. G’night.”

He pushed on the wall. Part of it swung open like a revolving door, and Crowley went through it. Before it shut, Aziraphale swore he saw Crowley turning to look back.

And then the door shut and he was alone.

Aziraphale blew out a long breath and drummed his fingers on his knees. Some tea sounded nice right about now. Or hot chocolate. Crowley didn’t seem like the type of person that would keep a kettle around, or even a pot. Or tea bags. Or anything to make any drink. Did he even have a kitchen? He did say Aziraphale was free to explore…

Twenty minutes of poking about Crowley’s flat found him back in the living room with a couple of dusty books and a cup of coffee. As it turned out, Crowley did have a kitchen, but it looked so new and unused that it could have been photographed for an advertisement for a remodeling agency. Aziraphale almost felt bad for using it to make coffee, which was the only thing Crowley had in the cupboards. He wasn’t particularly fond of coffee, but he was desperate enough for something hot to drink to take it.

He sipped his coffee, grimacing at the taste. The flat was large, but there wasn’t much in it apart from some furniture and a few oddly specific art pieces. The sketch of Mona Lisa was particularly impressive. He’d only met the artist once, and that was when he went to get his portrait sketched with Crowley. Judging from the stories Crowley had told of him, da Vinci was quite the character. Aziraphale still wasn’t entirely sure what to make of the vases. They were beautifully made, but they looked to be more like a last-ditch effort to make the place a bit more lived-in than actual decorations. The same was true for the books; the front covers were still glossy and stiff once he wiped the dust from them, and the spines crackled when he opened them up to read.

It took him almost an hour to get through the first chapter. It wasn’t that the content was dense. Even if it were, he’d become adept at processing even the most complex texts extraordinarily quickly. No, the issue was the anxiety shaking away in his mind. He pushed it aside for the first few pages, but as he went on, he couldn't but help pay more and more attention to it. It settled over him like an itchy robe and, as time went on, began to permeate his skin and gnaw on his bones.

Aziraphale frowned. It was the strangest sensation, but he could swear that this feeling didn’t belong to him. When he stressed, there was a discernible reason for it that he would hunt down and fix. This time, he couldn’t begin to make sense of what precisely the problem was.

If it wasn’t him, then…

Aziraphale gently shut his book. The half-full mug was left beside the couch as he got to his feet and took a few experimental steps towards the wall Crowley had gone through; the feeling immediately sharpened. He went to try and push open the same wall Crowley walked through. It opened startlingly easily, and Aziraphale was nearly hit in the behind by the door as he fell through it. He steadied himself and surveyed the… greenhouse?

Dozens of gorgeous tropical plants filled the room with colorful lush leaves and vibrant flowers. Some were enormous and nearly brushed the glass ceiling with their stalks, while others were much smaller and remained in plastic pots on small tables. For some reason, all of them appeared to be shivering slightly. Crowley clearly took excellent care of them. Aziraphale would have to tell him so later.

After a few more seconds of gawking, he happened to glance upon a corridor. At the end was another statue. This one appeared to be two winged figures on top of each other and… wrestling. Definitely wrestling.

Uncomfortable, Aziraphale swiftly decided to move on. The prickliness morphed into thorniness, and he was extraordinarily gentle as he knocked on a closed door in a hallway off to the left of the statue.

“Crowley?” he called softly. “Are you in here?”

For a moment, there was no reply. Then came a faint, “Yeah.”

“May I come in?”

“Yeah.”

He pushed open the door and entered. He could immediately tell that this was where Crowley spent most of his free-time. More tastefully positioned art decorated the walls, and there was a desk off to the right covered with random objects: more plants, quills, a doll, a few stones, a pocket watch, and even a glittering sapphire. Souvenirs from throughout the ages, he realized. He knew because he had an extraordinarily similar setup at the bookshop. Or rather, he used to have one.

Across from the desk, an enormous four-poster bed dominated the room. A mountain of red covers was piled on top of the bed. Barely visible from one end of it was Crowley.

“I was thinking,” started Crowley without prompting. “I was thinking, what if it all goes tits up? I know I’m a hypocrite, angel, but I can’t stop it.”

Aziraphale began to toe off his shoes.

“I mean—They’ve got usss cornered. We know they’re coming. They know we know they’re coming.”

Aziraphale hung his coat on a newly formed coat hook on the back of the door.

“We could run away. They’ll probably find us. And then I guessss we could run again? And then that’s it. Zilch. No miracle’s getting usss out of this.”

Aziraphale came over to the bed and neatly slid himself beneath the covers. Crowley did not pause even pause once during his rant.

“I mean—twenty million! Twenty million angels and demonsssss—ugh, demons, can do a bloody lot of damage to Earth without an apocalypse! And—oh shit, what about Adam and hisss lot? Satan’s not gone, you know, but since Adam’s renounced Him as his father, He can—ngk, shsp—I dunno, kill him? Can He do that?”

“I doubt the Almighty would allow something so dreadful to happen to an innocent child,” Aziraphale soothed.

Oh, ‘cos She’s got such a spotless track record with children.” Finally, Crowley turned his head to look at Aziraphale. “I thought you were supposed to be reading?”

“You think awfully loudly when you’re stressed, my dear.”

“Oh. I didn’t mean to.”

“I know, my dear.” Obviously, Aziraphale was not pleased about Crowley’s distress, but secretly, it did bring him some relief to know he wasn’t overreacting. “What’s bothering you?”

“What’s—What’s bothering me? Nothing. I’m unbotherable.”

“Mm. Then what’s all this about the Lord of the Underworld and young Adam?”

“Some worm in my brain,” Crowley muttered. He crossed his arms and frowned down at the bed covers.

“Well, tell it to stuff it,” Aziraphale said. Crowley snorted. “I’m serious. You should listen to your own advice some time. Everything you told me not half an hour ago is still as true now as it was then. We have wits, we have time, and”— he pulled the scrap of Agnes’ prophecy he’d caught from his pocket—“we have Agnes.”

“What’s she got to do with this?”

Aziraphale handed the scrap over for Crowley to read.

“Playing with fire…” Crowley said after a few minutes. His eyebrows were making a brave attempt at escaping into this hairline. “Probably means literal Hellfire. I don’t have a clue what the rest is supposed to mean.”

“Neither do I,” Aziraphale admitted. “But I believe interpretations of four-hundred-year-old prophecies should wait until morning. We already agreed stressing over any plans now will do neither of us any favors.”

“Right.” Crowley flipped the paper over, then gave it back to Aziraphale. “Erm. Are you staying here then, or…?”

“Oh—I can go, if you’d like, I just thought you’d like some company—”

“No, it’s fine. Um. If you’re staying, then…” he trailed off into an unintelligible mumble.

Aziraphale slightly furrowed his brow. “What was that?”

“Wiyouhepwimywings?

“What about your wings?”

Crowley turned a shade of red that matched spectacularly with his covers. “Blast it all, will you help me with my wings? Just until I fall asleep?”

Aziraphale smiled and beckoned Crowley to come closer. He scooted over, turned his back on him, and in the next instant, Aziraphale found himself spitting out a mouthful of Crowley’s feathers.

“You could have warned me,” he groused, picking down off of his tongue.

Crowley made an apologetic noise that somehow did not sound at all apologetic. Aziraphale rolled his eyes and began working his fingers through the feathers. They were in excellent condition as always, so Aziraphale was mostly undoing Crowley’s work so that he could do it again. Judging by how he leaned back more and more into Aziraphale’s hands with each stroke, he didn’t mind.

The scars had healed up wonderfully, Aziraphale noticed. The bumps were nearly undetectable by his touch. The old, damaged set of feathers were replaced entirely, having been through a few molts at this point. Aside from a few telling ridges from healed broken bones and slightly thinner patches of feathers, he could believe nothing terrible had happened that day.

“It seems you’re doing well,” Aziraphale commented.

“Mmhmm. Thanks to you, mostly.”

He smiled. “Is your right wing still bothering you?”

“A bit. Could you…? Mm, thanks.”

Aziraphale gently rubbed slow circles into Crowley’s wing with his thumbs. If one listened hard enough, they would be able to hear the footsteps of the building’s other residents. Occasionally, a burst of laughter or a shout would make it through the concrete walls. They quickly faded out, and they’d be left alone with the quiet sounds of their breathing and the rustling of feathers.

An hour went by in companionable silence, until Aziraphale uttered, “Crowley?”

A few seconds passed. Then, in a voice roughened by sleep, “Yeah?”

“Could I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“The night you were injured, and you came to the bookshop… why did you come to me if you were so adamant about leaving?”

Crowley’s brow twitched. “I thought—Wait, you don’t remember?”

“I don’t believe I’ve ever asked before.”

“Huh. Oh, shit, that’s what I forg—I mean. Of course. Must be thinking of something else.” Crowley coughed. “Uh. Okay, so I escaped, got a little fucked up by Hastur’s cronies, and well… I was paranoid. Can you blame me?” Aziraphale resumed stroking Crowley’s wing while he waited for him to go on. “And… I figured you were the best choice. I didn’t want to die. I’d be stuck Down there with Hastur for Satan knows how long. But once I got there, I didn’t—I wasn’t sure if you’d pick your duties as an angel or—or something else.” Or me. Aziraphale’s heart dropped.

“I—I won’t lie to you,” he admitted. “You were correct. I wasn’t sure. I almost didn’t want to use any miracles on you. I still feel guilty about that.”

Crowley nodded slowly as the words rolled over him. He didn’t look hurt, but he didn’t seem surprised either. “But you wound up helping me anyway, and I figured it was just because, well, y’know, he’s an angel, angels help people. And demons. Couldn’t believe it. So when I woke up and I just—I was convinced that wasn’t what you actually wanted. I still thought it was an obligation. And well, you had made your points about our natures enough that I figured getting caught out was the last thing you wanted. I wanted to get out so they wouldn’t find us both.”

Aziraphale bit the inside of his cheek. “I was worried I’d done something wrong.”

“No, no. I just—you said you wanted to help, but I wasn’t sure if that was out of obligation or not, but I didn’t want you to get in trouble either way and—yeah. It was weird.”

“Again, you were right.” Aziraphale stroked his hair apologetically. “I’m an angel, and there was likely a divine instinct to take you in. I was hurt, you know, when you told me as much. Not because it’s true, but because I wanted to help you. You are, more than anything, more than either of our natures, more than Hell was to you or what Heaven meant to me, you are my dearest friend.” Aziraphale leaned over to make sure Crowley was meeting his eyes. “I knew the risks, and they were worth taking if it meant I could save you.”

“Oh.”

“Crowley, I am”—his breath caught—“I am so sorry I made you feel that way. You’re my best friend. I would never let anything happen to you.”

“I—That’s—The sentiment’s mutual, angel.” And then Crowley did something that surprised them both; he turned and tightly hugged Aziraphale around the middle. He squeezed tightly, burrowing his head into Aziraphale’s chest. “Thank you,” he mumbled. His breath puffed warmly through Aziraphale’s shirt.

Aziraphale wiggled his hands free from Crowley’s wings and placed one on the back of his head, and the other just under his wings. Then, he brought out his wings and and curled them around the two of them. They stayed like that for a moment, sharing closeness and warmth and something else that was indescribable, but it was warm, and it was safe.

“I’d do it again in a heartbeat,” he murmured, pressing his lips to Crowley’s head. “Now let’s get some rest, my dear. We have our biggest day yet ahead of us.”

#peppervl #goholidayswap #good omens #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #im not gonna use every single tag this time #ibtwbyw #my writing #queerplatonic relationship

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sgtsavoytruffle · 4 years

Text

Nobody really wants to help someone who is pleading for help until after they’re dead. That’s humanity. Step back and look at what you have become.

This is just an observation on humanity, in general. One political side in the US is justifying actual violence and bullying, through words and actions and it’s getting bad. At this rate, it only gets worse. The amount of hatred being directed at others through words and actions in real life will reach a breaking point when people decide that they have had too much of the bullying, violence, political coup attempts, etc. The ego on the left is going to be the thing that pushes the society over the edge. I mean, there was a political commentator on msnbc that on the air said, “Republican looking voters should be targeted and destroyed at voting events,” and guess what... people are being targeted in public now. Don Lemon, of CNN (which most people know is propaganda now anyway, but they still have a target audience) says on tv, “White males are the number one threat in this country.” ... And these dangerous and violent opinions are being presented as if they are fact, on tv. And Democrats are laughing about and openly endorsing this. It’s getting bad. But nobody is acknowledging that these views are being pushed to those viewers that take the talking tv idiots’ violent and openly racist personal opinions as facts. Nobody is targeting “Democratic looking voters at voting stations with violence.” That would be racist, but the other way around is cool. And yet that entire side is calling for and going through with this violence and hurting people. At some point, it will become too much. These children on the various liberal media networks don’t want unity: They want ratings and views and clicks, and (not so secretly, more like gleefully) for their own personal viewpoints to be carried out by a party that endorses domestic terrorists like Antifa, amongst other violence that is becoming more widespread. These people aren’t inclusive. It’s pretty fucking exclusive. And they already have everything. But it’s not enough. The ego is their ultimate downfall. Democrats don’t hate Trump. They hate that he is messing with their slush fund of corruption that goes unnoticed by all their minions. Most can’t even tell you why they hate Trump. They just know they do. They have been told to hate Trump, and do so. Where were all the Republican riots in the streets and property damage during almost a decade of Obama? There weren’t any. Is any of this shocking to you? The point is, if the right is really as bad as the left would have you believe, there would have been. White men were being hunted in the streets when Trump was elected, and stripped of their clothing and treated like animals, but you never heard about this because the news wouldn’t report it. It didn’t fit into their narrative. It was happening though.

Most people are too afraid to even acknowledge this kind of stuff. I’m not afraid. I don’t care about likes or numbers. With the way it’s going, it’s not going to be getting any better before it gets much worse.

Everyone these days is either blind or completely brainwashed. Brainwashing people is not hard. Just look at religion. And Democrats. Usually where there’s one, there is the other. People are fools. LaLa Land. They’re all clubs. You want in? You want to get paid? It’s easy. Just go along with it. Feeding frenzy. Conformist idiots. Incapable of thinking for themselves. Group mentality. Antifa. Real hatred and violence is always easily found here. Accusing others of communism while embracing “socialism.” Brainwashed bandwagoners. Lmao. “Jussie Smollett is innocent.” Oh... He’s not. Well, he is anyway, “lol.” Stay tuned to CNN for more propaganda with Don Lemon. “The biggest threat in this country is white men.” - Don Lemon... as he sexually assaults.. white men.. and tries to settle out of court. Lmao. Fools. Hypocrites. Aristocrats. Democrats. Why are the middle class flooding out of Democrat-run towns like NY, Chicago, Baltimore, Philadelphia... California. Because these places are being consumed by their “progressive” ideas. And the crime and poverty is skyrocketing. These places are “sanctuaries” for violent criminals as well, and this is the part that nobody likes to acknowledge.

The end is closer than you think.

And that statement has absolutely nothing to do with religion. We are not alone in the universe. Remember that. Remember laughing about it, and thinking it sounded crazy. Humanity is fucked. Pray to your god, lol. He isn’t there. What is there is beyond your comprehension. Your god is Santa Claus for adults. The ultimate irony, of course, is that is shows just how juvenile humanity actually is. Some even include X amount of virgins with it. So, perverted juveniles, if you want to get laid when you’re dead, too. Again, any version of this is from humanity is bullshit. Not everyone needs a “holy” book to tell them to be nice to nice people, and to punish criminals. But that’s not even a thing anymore. Check out NY. If you’ve ever reblogged or tweeted an Amber alert, and you support sanctuary cities, you’re a hypocrite, and part of the problem, because you are supporting keeping many bad people on the streets, and some of these very people are taking these women, girls, children, etc. I didn’t say all. Some. Sure. Don’t believe that? It’s called denial. Keep up the good work. You suck.

In the end, all the little groups and cliques and parties and prestige and politics and power and beliefs and lust and money and sex and love and hatred that consume you mean absolutely nothing.

In the end, we’re all fucked. We’re all puppets, tangled in string.

Too bleak, you say? Lmao. What fucking planet are you living on? Population, alone, will consume us all.

I’m only a messenger of the obvious. I honestly don’t give a fuck what you think about me. You’re wrong. You are a brainwashed conformist, getting off on bullying and violence and your ego. You are incapable of thinking outside of the box that contains and consumes you. The hatred and “revenge” that consumes you will ultimately do just that. As you are making millions of dollars. That’s tough stuff. Tough, tough stuff. But appearances are everything to the clique. Again, I don’t care what you think. You’re too far gone. The group mentality of hatred is there for anyone to see. But most people remain blinded and silenced by conformity. You are incapable of abstract thought. Pray to your god about money, lust, sports, lol, whatever. Nobody is there. At least, not what you are thinking of. You are only praying to yourself. Worshipping yourself. Again, brainwashing people is not hard. Especially when they are idiots and conformists. That’s any religion, regardless of the denomination. Sharia Law, or otherwise. Religion is nothing more than brainwashed ego. Brainwashed conformists, which is most people, anyway.

I won’t be silenced.

Step back and look at what you have become. The feeding frenzy of hatred that consumes you, as you claim to be victims. You are the bullies.

Think about what you are doing. What you are saying. Who you are defending. Hillary Clinton? Everyone knows she’s a saint. Because she’s a Democrat... Interesting stuff. Pelosi. Nadler. Schumer. Maxine Waters, lol. Etc. These people look and act like ancient evil robots, and are defended without excuse. Why? Because they are Democrats. And your momma told you so. They’re all as dirty and corrupt as a heaping pile of shit. Open the borders, just don’t try and stay with any of them. They all have walls, and security teams, and power. The truth is right there for anyone to see it. But you’re all blinded by their power over you.

“But there were some who resisted.”

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palpameddaislife · 5 years

Text

"Intrigues in the CIS: Banking Clan Romeo and Trade Federation Juliette"

Before you start reading: This is a crackship fic. Probably the crackest ship. Don't tell me I didn't warn you. (It's interesting tho, give it a chance)

"Our plan is a success." Nix Card said with satisfaction.

"Yes, indeed..." Lott Dod replied.

They were walking side by side as they were exiting the Senate building.

"You sound, let's say, disappointed, Dod... What's wrong?... You didn't like my moves, right?"

"N-no, it's not that... I..."

"Excuses are for lesser droids..."

Lott felt his forehead sweating.

"Gunray is going to smack my head that they let a vote for the Banks to decide for themselves..."

"What now, you don't want my success?!"

"It's not that! You don't know Nute well... He's ruthless..."

"Gunray?! Ruthless...? Are you trying to drive me nuts?!"

"Sigh, Nix... Not now, please..."

"Alright, alright..."

Some time passed, and they weren't talking to each other, until they stopped in front of a hotel.

"What now... You're not going to talk me anymore?..." Lott complained.

"No, you idiot!" Nix chuckled. "I just wanted to play difficult... Here is where I booked for us in Coruscant. Luxury at it's finest! Come, don't make me wait!"

-----------------------------------------------------

"So... What we have here... Dod and Card.... In '24 carats hotel'? Are they messing with me?! Are they conspiring against the Techno Union?! I have to find out!"

------------------------------------------------------

"You cunning little... What have you done here?!" Lott said with a surprised chuckle when he glanced the room they were going to spend the night.

"All this for you, you goof..."

"I'm not a goof! I'm an elegant businessman!"

"Never doubted that." Nix said and removed Lott's hat to land a kiss on his green shiny head. The Neimoidian closed his eyes happily and rested his head on the taller Muun's slender chest for some minutes.

------------------------------------------------

The next day, they had to part, to return to their home planets and their business.

Lott couldn't easily leave Nix's waist from his arms or take his head away from his chest.

"Come on, Lott... We're going to see each other soon... We're going to miss our flights..."

"Yeah... You're right... We're Seperatists after all... We are supposed to seperate... Heh..."

"Have I told you that your humor sucks?!"

"Eheh... Yeah... Four or five times..."

"Hey, come on now... We have to go..."

"Alright..."

They picked their suitcases and left the hotel room.

Little did they know about the probe droid that was spying on them all night...

Hours later, Nix arrived on Scipio.

"Senator, Chairman Hill asked to see you." An officer told him, when he got off his ship.

Nix raised an eyebrow to that. What would Hill possibly want from him?

-------------------------------------

"Yes, Chairman?" Nix clasped his hands behind him and stood with respect in front of him. San Hill was on his chair, hands in front of him. His eyes piercing Nix like the cold ice on their homeworld. Nix easily hid his growing stress.

"So, Card... You hang out with Trade Federation, I heard..."

"Yes, I do, where is the problem with that?"

"Well, this." Hill showed a holo-projector with his hand. It was recordings from the probe droid. Very personal and embarrassing ones.

Nix felt his stomach so bad, he thought it could explode. He hid it as well... As much as he could. It was almost impossible. His legs couldn't support him that time... How?, Why?, Who?!... So many questions...

"No way!... How? You spied on me!!"

"Oh, no, no... Who do you think we are, Card, some cheap spies!? We wouldn't do such a thing, but an ally of us had the humble kindness to give us this sensitive information about you, and to warn us for whom we trust... Because trust nowadays has become extinct..."

"B-but... The Trade Federation are allies too!! Why would you mind if?... Well..."

"As I said, senator... Trust is becoming extinct... And honesty too... And if you rely on, or should I say cling to so called allies, they will probably stab your back before you realise it... And I suggest you keeping your distances from senator Dod..."

"You call Lott, I mean senator Dod a liar?! You know something I don't know?!" Nix's worry was now more obvious.

"Everything is possible, Card. Everything. I don't know... But I still advise you to cease your relationship with him... Brfore things get complicated..."

-----------------------------------

After his very unfortunate talk with San Hill, he, very frustrated managed to contact Lott. An awful move for someone with a sharp mind like his...

He smuggled himself to a Trade Federation ship Dod was temporarily staying. For once he's happy they've done that boring conversation regarding the work they had to do, so he knew Lott would stay there to supervise some tasks, without needing to call him via holo-call.

"This is cargo freighter 'The Opulent', identify yourself!"

"This is cargo ship c-111, asking for permission to enter. I carry supplies."

"Ok, c-111, permission granted!"

-------------------------------------------

Nix quickly wore a hood and a veil.

"Excuse me, sir! Where is Senator Dod's office?"

"Identification please."

He gave a false identification he had made in case of need.

"Ok, follow me." The guard told him.

-------------------------------------

"Senator? You have a visitor."

"Who is it now, I have work to do!"

"It's a guy named Drac Xin. Should he enter?"

"Drac Xin... Oh, of course he should... Tell him to come in and you leave us..."

"Yes, sir!" The guard left. Nix entered and closed the door behind him. He looked left, then right, behind him, behind Lott very carefully and then hugged him tightly. They didn't part for minutes.

Suddenly, Lott burst in tears, which eventually turned to a panic attack. He was struggling for his breath while clinging to Nix, who was trying to calm him down.

"Ssshhh... I'm here now, no one can harm us, we are safe... Shhh.... Calm down..." Nix whispered whlie rubbing circles on Lott's back.

Nix had never ever seen that side of Lott, weak and scared like that. He even tried to hold back his own tears.

He let the Neimoidian sit on his chair to calm down and he sat on a second one, to the other side of the desk.

He looked in his eyes full of fear and asked him. "Did Gunray learn too?"

The Neimoidian only nodded while wiping his eyes.

"That greedy and suspicious rat!! What did he do to you?!" Nix asked with much concern.

"He threatened me... He said that if I didn't end our relationship, he'd end my life..."

"Kriffing idiot..." Then Nix realised that Lott was right when he said Gunray is ruthless. He got Lott's hands in his and warmed them up affectionately.

"If I ever find the spy, I will cut his throat!!"

"I thought we were about business, not violence..." Lott replied with a forced smile.

"Heh... In this case, business is violence..."

-------------------------------

That time, the leaders of the three organisations were arguing via holo-call.

"The very kind senator Saam told me some interesting facts, Hill!" Nute Gunray hissed to San Hill. "He told me that your senator spends a suspicious amound of time with mine! Could this possibly mean that you put him to spy on us?!"

"I would ask you the same thing, Gunray!"

"Wait a minute! So you are not conspiring against us?!" Wat Tambor asked full of suspicion.

"Haaa?! So you actually thought something like that?! You filthy-!" Gunray was cut by an incoming transmission from Count Dooku.

"What is going on here, Gunray?!"

"C-count?! Ooh, n-nothing, everything's under control!!"

"A-always under control!!" Rune Haako replied and hid behind Nute.

Hill and Tambor stayed calm when the angry man raised his voice.

"I actually wanted to talk to you about some issues, but I'd rather learn about your issue now. It seems much frustrating. Go on. Talk." The Count demanded angrily.

"You see, my Lord, two of our senators are seeing each other, if you understand what I mean." San Hill decided to talk.

"And where is the problem with that?!"

"It could be a trap, my Lord!! There are many reasons this is a problem!"

"What do you mean?!"

"This snake, Hill has sent his minion senator to make mine trust him for information!" Nute pointed the Chairman of the IGBC with his index.

"Well, how can you prove you haven't done the same?" Hill said with a gesture of question.

"Well, this is of little importance right now. I will speak to them myself later. Now, to our issues..."

------------------------------

The next day, Alderaan.

Nix and Lott sat on an isolated bench away from the city, with the mountains as view. They had chosen to travel to Alderaan for a couple of days, because there they wouldn't be the centre of attention, plus the romantic scenery.

"I can't believe the Count was so soft on us... I thought he'd act like Hill or Gunray..." Nix said, his gaze lost in the mountains.

"Well..." Lott chuckled. "I have heard that something's being cooked with him and the General... He probably feels us I think..."

"What?! Him and Grievous?! Holy blasts, this is disgusting!"

"Aah, we shouldn't judge... Love is love, Nix..."

"Indeed..."

Lott leaned against him and they stayed like that for a while.

~the End~

Fanfic by Katrín Die Sith Frau

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sincerefakeahcau · 5 years

Text

It wasn’t easy being a teenager. Even less so being a short, gymnast who was openly gay in a not so nice area. But Jeremy was used to it, after all this was the life he had lived for the past eighteen years and it will get better right?

The phrase was a mantra in his head as he tried to ignore the hand of Michael, a roided, should be graduated, twenty year old who seemed to think Jeremy was his punching bag, even though being a gymnast gave him a strength he rarely showed. He only had to make it through the year and then he would graduate, seven and a half months until he wasn’t a walking punching bag to idiots anymore. I’m

“What are you gonna do squirt? Find a real man to take care of you like the little bitch you are.”

Despite knowing he shouldn’t Jeremy snaps not caring for his own safety for a moment.

“If you don’t leave me alone I’m going to fuck your dad.”

Michael’s face grows purple and he shoves Jeremy again before walking off with his group of minions, brainless roided bodies the group of them.

“Would you really?”

That’s Gavin, Jeremy’s best friend who was a foreign exchange student from England, staying with the family next door.

“I mean... have you seen his dad?”

Jeremy raises his eyebrows a smirk falling onto his face and Gavin just chuckles before wrapping an arm around the shorter boy.

“One of these days your mouth is gonna get you in trouble.”

“One of these days? As if it hasn’t already.”

“True.... now show me a picture of his dad.”

“What?”

“If he made a son that looks like that he’s got to be attractive. Stupid as hell but attractive.”

“Gavin he was a model. But now he works with computers. I think he’s hot and smart.”

Jeremy pulls up Instagram, opening it to the mans page and when Gavin sees it he nods in agreement.

“He’s your type. Tall, bearded, dad. Now again would you really fuck him just to get back to Michael?”

“I don’t know. Maybe? Or maybe just cause he’s hot and smart and he is my type.”

“Have you ever met him in person Jeremy. Also he’s obviously straight, after all he is Michael’s dad. Speaking of what about his mom?”

“I don’t think they are together because he posted on Mother’s Day and was like ‘while it wasn’t magic for us you gave me the best gift ever. Thanks for being the best mom to our son.’ And look at this picture and tell me he’s straight Gavin. Look at it.”

“Mr. Dooley!”

Hearing the voice of his math teacher he looks up and realizes that his entire class is looking at him, and he’s looking at his phone.

“Sorry.”

“What was so interesting on your phone that you just had to show Mr. Free in the middle of my class?”

“Nothing.”

“Than maybe you should put it away.”

“Yes sir.”

He puts his phone away and motions to Gavin that he’ll show him later. Math class finally ends and Jeremy pulls his phone right back out showing showing Gavin the picture he had been trying to show him before.

“Maybe he’s just a really into himself straight man.”

“I doubt it. But I’ve never met him so like will it matter honestly? I’ll just admire him from afar.”

“I vote you slide into his DMs.”

“But...”

“Jeremy I say you shoot your shot. You are amazing and confident and of the legal age of 18. So why not.”

“What if he’s not gay?”

“So? It never hurts to ask. Besides how can you tell Michael you would fuck his dad and then not even try to follow through.”

“So you’re saying if nothing else I should try because I could hold it over Michael.”

“Yes. But also like you said he is hot and hopefully smart. And if he is smart he’ll get it.”

Jeremy bites his lip before looking at his phone and clicking the paper airplane to send him a message. He debates for a second before just sending a simple hi and then puts his phone in his pocket.

“I want to die.”

“I could help with that.”

Hearing Michael’s voice Jeremy is instantly glad about his decision. He doesn’t respond instead just sending Gavin a small smirk ignoring the boy. The rest of the school day passes uneventfully and when he and Gavin walk to his car to drive home he pulls his phone out. He stops his walk at the notification that he had a message back from Michael’s dad.

“Jeremy?”

“He messaged me back.”

“WHAT DOES IT SAY!”

Gavin is too loud and multiple people stop to stare at the pair, if either was easily embarrassed they would be red, but they weren’t. Jeremy just rolls his eyes continuing their walk and once they are in his car he speaks.

“I mean I haven’t looked yet Gav. I was just shocked he actually opened my message to begin with.”

“So open it.”

Jeremy bites his lip as he stares at the notification on his phone before doing just that, opening the message. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting but the hello handsome that greeted him was a happy surprise.

“He called me handsome Gav.”

“Huh maybe he is gay after all.”

“Seriously that’s your one thought?”

“No but I think you should keep it going. But I would make sure he knows you are younger.”

“Yea... I wonder how old he is. I mean Michael’s 20.”

“Talk to him a bit more and then just mention your age and be like I hope someone as worldly as you doesn’t mind talking to me. Maybe he’ll tell you then.”

The next few weeks pass with Jeremy casually messaging Michael’s dad, Ryan he should call him he supposed. They had talked about a lot, including age, Ryan was 36 twice Jeremy’s age but that wasn’t a deterrent. And then he opens his phone one morning to a text from Ryan, they had exchanged numbers after a week.

So how about a real date tonight?

Jeremy just stares before running from his house next door and knocking on the door, knowing Gavin would be home but the others probably wouldn’t.

“Jeremy?”

Gavin was still half asleep, not surprising the boy would miss school like daily if not for Jeremy making him be on time.

“Gavin he asked me if I wanted to go on a date tonight.”

That wakes Gavin up fully and he opens the door letting Jeremy in.

“So?”

“What do I do?”

“Jeremy you’ve been chatting with him for weeks, you told me you like him a lot, and for more than just his looks. You go on a fucking date with him.”

“But.”

“But what Jeremy.”

“What if he expects something different than me?”

“I doubt it. Tell him yes, ask when and where and then let’s get you ready.”

Jeremy lets out a little breath but responds to the message.

I’d like that. Where are we going and when?

He pauses for a moment wondering if that’s the proper response when he gets a reply almost instantly.

I can’t tell you where it’s a surprise. But dress casually. And I’ll pick you up at 6.

“He says dress casually.”

“Ask how casual. Because you and I have a different idea of casual and you want to make sure.”

Knowing that what Gavin says is true he pauses before sending a new message.

How casual is casual?

He watches as he gets three dots pulled up as Ryan responds.

Maybe not a T-shirt but jeans and a nice shirt would work. Can’t wait to see you.

And now he is flushing slightly Jesus Christ how was this man doing this to him.

Can’t wait to see you either. x

The x at the end was a bit bold but he couldn’t help it he was actually stoked for his date. He heads back to his house. After all he had almost ten hours until his date and he was hungry and needed to shower and go through all his clothes. Five thirty rolls around and he’s dressed and ready to go, his parents had wondered where he was going but when he said out with a friend they just assumed it was someone from school and let it go. He was dressed in a pair of dark blue jeans cuffed at the bottom with a light blue button up and a pair of white sneakers. He’s nervous but ready, it wasn’t his first date with an older man his last boyfriend was 25 to his then 17 almost 18. He gets lost in his thoughts h til the doorbell rings and then he jumps from his seat wanting to make sure his parents don’t answer the door. When he spots Ryan standing there looking very much like the model he used to be in a black button up with a pair of jeans and sneakers his heart starts to beat a bit faster.

“Hi Jeremy.”

His voice is deeper than Jeremy had thought it would be and timber causes his body to warm.

“Hi Ryan.”

“So do I need to talk to your parents.”

“No.”

The word comes quickly as Jeremy sets outside having grabbed a jacket from behind the door as he left.

“Are you embarrassed by me?”

Ryan’s question catches Jeremy off guard for a second and then he answers truthfully.

“No I’m embarrassed by them. They aren’t the most traditional parents and I try not to scare off the men I like before we’ve had an actual date by introducing them to my parents.”

“But I will get introduced?”

“I promise. Eventually you will. Once I’m certain they won’t scare you off.”

“And it has nothing to do with me being twice your age?”

“God no. My last boyfriend was eight years older than me. They know I like older. And they don’t mind. My dad is fifteen years older than my mom.”

By now they are in Ryan’s car and driving to their date spot and Jeremy has slightly relaxed. When they pull up to a building Jeremy’s never seen before he looks at Ryan.

“I hope you like Italian. I would have picked something else but I wanted it to be somewhere you hadn’t been before and few people have been here.”

“I love Italian and I have never been here you are right.”

“Good.”

The smile that breaks across Ryan’s face makes Jeremy’s heart swell a bit. After they have ordered and are waiting Ryan asks the question Jeremy had been expecting from the moment they started talking.

“So how did you even find my Instagram?”

“Well... I go to school with Michael. And he posted something with you in it a while ago. And I saw and clicked your screen name and instantly attracted to you so I followed you. But I was like 16 at the time? And then I got a boyfriend and I kind of just would occasionally like something you posted that I liked. You posted a picture of a view with some beautiful cherry blossoms one day and I wished I could see the cherry blossoms so I liked that. And then I broke up with the boyfriend after like 5 months? And just kinda stayed single. And I turned 18 and didn’t think you were attracted to men. So I didn’t think I had a chance or anything. But then I mentioned you to my best friend and he told me I should at least try. So I said hi and you know the rest.”

“Is it weird to you that you go to school with my son?”

“Is it weird for you? I’m not worried about it. And if I didn’t I would never have even met you so I’m kinda glad I do.”

“Me too.”

Their date continues with the pair talking about any and everything and then Ryan drives them to a small cafe.

“I don’t really like coffee but I don’t want this to end and I was hoping you would want to chat a bit longer.”

“I don’t like coffee either. Well I’ll drink it occasionally but it’s bitter so I tend not to but I absolutely want to keep chatting.”

And chat they do, for hours their conversation continues, past closing time of the cafe and into the early morning hours before Ryan makes his way back to Jeremy’s house.

“I had a great time. I’d really like to do this again.”

“Me too.”

Jeremy bites his lip as his eyes meet Ryan’s. They were parked out front of Jeremy’s house and Ryan pauses for a second before leaning across the center console and placing a kiss to the younger mans lips.

“So after I meet your parents I’ll take you to see the cherry blossoms.”

“After?”

“Well I figure if we are going to go to Japan together I should at least try and reassure them I’m not going to kill you there.”

“Japan?!”

“While Washington D.C. has beautiful cherry blossoms, that’s where that picture was from, Japan’s are even better. But don’t worry they don’t bloom til the new year so we have a few months.”

“But I have school.”

“Spring break is in March right?”

“Yea.”

“We can go then. But I’ve got to meet your parents first. They will be beautiful then and look amazing with your handsomeness.”

“March is a while away.”

“All the more time to get to know you better.”

Five months to be exact, and he doesn’t see how Ryan could put up with him for five months, his last boyfriend hadn’t ending it stating that Jeremy was too needy, too annoying, and too young.

October passes with little event, they went out on three more dates before Ryan had looked at Jeremy and told him he was so glad they were boyfriends. Jeremy had been wondering about their relationship but hadn’t wanted to bring it up so hearing that made his heart soar. And the following dates always lasted for hours, with the pair cuddling and kissing and just happy to be together.

November starts with Jeremy’s parents asking about his new boyfriend and if he’s like to come to Thanksgiving dinner. Jeremy asks Ryan but unfortunately the older man is unable to come, he had promised his own parents he would go home since Michael was with his mom for the holiday this year. They make plans to meet up for dinner before hand though and by some grace of god Jeremy’s parents don’t completely ruin his life. Ryan actually like them, and they like him as well. Their dates slowly end with Jeremy staying the night at Ryan’s usually nothing more than cuddling and sleeping going on because they both agree they want to take it slow.

December is full of dates, kisses and cuddles. Jeremy panics for a full week over what to get Ryan for his birthday and then Christmas which is right after. Ryan had bought Jeremy and himself tickets to Japan after that first date but still picked out a bunch of random little things along the way which he saw and instantly thought of Jeremy. Ryan invited Jeremy over on Christmas Eve because he knew the younger was spending the holiday with family, aunts and uncles came into town with their family, and introduced Jeremy to Michael as his boyfriend. Michael looks shocked for a moment before nodding his head. And despite the fact that Michael is rude to him every time they see each other at school their conversation is polite and Jeremy is glad he had picked up a gift for Michael when he was out as well.

January starts with an Instagram post. Three months after they started dating officially they both post the same picture, sharing a kiss as the new year is rung in, with identical captions as well. I’m so excited to start this year with you. The first week of January is spent exploring a new stage in their relationship. Jeremy started staying over nightly, and there was less sleep than there had been before. It had never felt as right before and Jeremy was glad they had waited, glad it was Ryan. He didn’t want to think that he loved the man but he knew already that he did. Michael started coming around to him as well, there were less incidents at school, in fact he could count on one hand all of them for the first time in years, opposed to the once a day attacks from before.

The first day of school in February starts a lot like his old days had, with Michael shoving him into a locker, but this time they are alone in the hall it was before hours.

“You aren’t just fucking with my dad to get back at me right?”

Jeremy sees the look in Michael’s eyes and knows he’s just being protective of his dad because he loves him.

“No Michael. I know I said I would fuck him to get back at you but honestly I wouldn’t have. I like him, a lot. He’s the first guy who hasn’t made me feel like I’m not worthy of affection and he makes me really happy.”

“He is too. I just... his last boyfriend was an asshole and really hurt him.”

“I know what that’s like and that’s the last thing I want to do. I... I haven’t told him so I don’t know why I’m telling you. But I love him. He’s my heart and my soul and I’d probably be really lost without him.”

“Okay...”

“I know we don’t really get along Michael, though it’s been better since you found out about us but no matter how I feel about you I wouldn’t fuck with someone else to get back at you. And we are better or I like to think we are.”

“He deserves to be happy.”

“And I want to help make him happy for as long as I can.”

Michael nods his head before moving away from Jeremy and then speaking again.

“So what are you getting him for Valentine’s Day?”

“I have no idea. Well I have an idea but I don’t know if he’ll think it’s as cool or useful as I do.”

“Need some help?”

Jeremy pauses before looking at Michael wide eyed.

“Really? You’d help me.”

“Yea. So what do you say?”

“That’s be great.”

And that’s how Michael almost completely got over being a dickbag to Jeremy. There was still the occasional moment when a bit of his former hatred popped out but for the most part they were fine. Valentine’s Day was a major success, Jeremy had been thrilled with his gifts from Ryan, stuff for their japan trip and a few more romantic things that they could enjoy together. And Ryan was beyond happy with the collection of custom Diet Coke bottles, that Michael helped him pick out, the luggage separators to improve space and a few little things that no one else needed to see, and of course the confession from Jeremy, tears in his eye as they eat dinner together of I love you. The words come softly and then bolder and Ryan can’t help but respond in the same. Somehow after four short months he knew he loved this man. And then there is the last minute panic and hurry to make sure they have everything for their trip in a month, between packing and buying and searching they manage to find time for dates and kisses and love galore.

March starts slow, they have two weeks before Japan and Jeremy is stressing about midterms, and has basically moved into Ryan’s house. Ryan has taken to making him dinner every night, helping him study and giving him massages when he’s super stressed. In return Jeremy helps Michael study, cooks breakfast for them all in the morning and peppers Ryan with love and affection at every turn. At the end of the second week they check their luggage one more time and get ready to be brought to the airport. Jeremy had stayed with Ryan that night, he had been fluttering between there and his own house, mainly because he missed Gavin’s bullshit and his parents own version of crazy, and when they woke up the next morning for Michael to drive them to the airport he’s jittery, texting Gavin the entire time.

I can’t believe this is real.

His words are more from a shocking bout of insecurity and Gavin sees right through them before responding.

It’s real. You deserve this and so much more. You have someone who loves you for exactly who you are and you are so blessed to love him in return. It’s something that many people hope for and you have it. Now have an amazing time in Japan with your love and tell me about it when you get home.

When they finally land in Japan, Jeremy is bouncing from the need to move, being on the plane so long was killing him.

“Calm down love.”

“I am calm. I’m just glad to not be on the plane anymore and I’m excited to spend the next week exploring with you.”

Ryan places a kiss to Jeremy’s forehead as they wait for their luggage. And they do spend that week exploring, though Ryan makes sure they visit the cherry blossoms every day. On their last day in Japan during their last visit to the cherry blossoms Jeremy looks around him, he could never have imagined anything better than this. He turns to say something to Ryan and his hands fly to his mouth spotting the man down on one knee.

“I know it’s only been a few months, and I know you are still young. But I was hoping you would be willing to make me even happier than I am now, happier than I thought was possible and marry me?”

“Really?”

His question is silent as he stares directly into Ryan’s eyes and he sees the love and sincerity in them.

“Absolutely.”

Before Ryan can say anything else Jeremy has answered his own question, he knew he loved Ryan, knew Ryan loved him, knew this moment was perfect. He leans down kissing Ryan with all his mite, tears streaming down his cheeks.

“I’m so in love with you.”

“And I with you.”

“You did good Ry.”

Hearing the female voice Jeremy turns confused and then he sees a short blonde woman smiling at him with Michael behind her.

“Um...”

“I know this is unconventional but I wanted Michael to be here. He is my son after all. And he told me when I asked that he thought we would be great together so he gave me his blessing to propose. I asked your parents but they said they would celebrate with us when we got home.”

“I think the um was more about mom, dad than me being here. Jeremy this is my mom, mom this is Jeremy.”

“Hi hun. I’m sorry I know it’s your moment and all but I figured you guys might want some pictures, and Michael took a video as well. I’m just glad that Ryan has someone to love him like you do.”

“It’s so nice to meet you. Thank you for the pictures and video, Michael. I’m lucky that in marrying Ryan I get you both as part of my family.”

They talk for a few minutes before Michael and his mom leave the newly engaged couple alone. Jeremy just smiles at Ryan nonstop and then his phone goes off with a message, he’s been tagged in a post by Michael. He opens his phone to Instagram and spots one of the pictures they had taken moments before. I’m glad you love my dad as much as he loves you. It features Ryan kissing Jeremy’s cheek as Jeremy smiles widely and has an arm wrapped around Michael.

“You know he’s a pain in the ass sometimes but I really am glad he’s your kid cause I wouldn’t know you otherwise.”

“You are preaching to the choir.”

Jeremy and Ryan both post pictures then, Jeremy posting one of the four of them, and Ryan posting one of everyone but himself, they share the same caption though a single word, Family. They hold off posting about their engagement until they are back in the states, mainly because Jeremy wanted to tell his parents and Gavin in person, even though his parents knew. Cuddled in bed with Ryan one day after they’ve been home for a few weeks Jeremy thinks back to that faithful day when he repeated his mantra of it gets better and a smile breaks onto his face. Because it was true and he was so grateful for that, because every day, every moment, every second with Ryan it really gets better.

#ragehappy #jeremwood #jeremy #ryan #michael #gavin #an au where ryan is michaels dad #i read a story about how a guy fucked his high school bullys dad to get back at the bully #and was like this screams jeremwood #i dont even ship this #stephanisincere #stephani is trash #ah ragehappy #ah au

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longsightmyth · 5 years

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Myth Reads The Naming Chapter-by-Chapter, Chapter 22

PELLINOR

The title of this chapter is The First Circle of Norloch, which we already know is going to be filled with dicks. Also penises, because, well.

Saliman has decided to basically be the Cadvan to Hem’s Maerad, convincing him to bathe and wear clean clothes and go get a haircut. Since Saliman and Hem are doing that and Cadvan and Nelac are out, presumably trying to gather support for council reasons, Maerad tries to entertain herself.

She tries to take in the sights of the first circle but can’t concentrate, and in Norloch even the libraries are run by pompous glaring people so she heads back to Nelac’s. There, Brin (Nelac’s housemaster) brings her lunch in her room and leaves her.

Finally Maerad gets dressed for the council meeting, taking Cadvan’s advice to dress formally and wear her sword and her lily brooch. She’s super nervous, and Cadvan, when he comes to pick her up, takes the time to assure her that if the council is full of idiots it’s not her fault.

She feels better remembering everything she and Cadvan have gone through but not totally over it, and doesn’t meet anyone’s eyes on the way to the chamber of the First Circle. Her dread grows as they walk up the table (think Return of the King’s Hall of the Steward but with more gold accoutrement for the setting here)

Maerad is mesmerized by the shiny thing at the center of the meeting table but finally looks up to see Enkir, First Bard of Norloch.

She knew that face. She had seen it before.

The world shattered into pieces around her, whirling into a storm of confused images. Maerad collapses to the floor, but she was not aware of Cadvan and Saliman bending over her in alarm, nor of the murmured consternation of the other Bards.

The towers of Pellinor were burning.

Maerad falls into a flashback. Pellinor is being sacked and her mother is carrying her out.

“Don’t cry, Maerad,” her mother whispered in her ear. “There’s my brave girl.”

[Maerad] looked into her mother’s face, glimmering whitely in the darkness. Milana was not afraid. Her face was smirched with ash, grim with despair and grief. But she was not afraid. She was hard and beautiful as adamant. Maerad swallowed her tears.

Milana, when Maerad asks, says they will talk about her father later. Maerad was hoping for another answer, since she saw her father killed by a mace, and asks after Cai (Hem). Milana says their friend Branar has him and they’re meeting up in a set of caves, but she needs Maerad to be very quiet right now. Eventually Milana has to put Maerad down, and they keep running through the empty streets of Pellinor. Eventually they make it through a rarely-used and locked door at the walls.

But somebody was waiting for them outside the door.

“Where are you going, Milana of Pellinor?” A tall shape loomed in the darkness. Milana gasped and pulled Maerad closer to her. [Maerad] heard the whisper of metal as Milana drew her sword. The voice laughed softly.

“Don’t think that any blade will wound me.”

“Enkir.” Milana’s voice wobbled with relief, and then she stood straighter, and the darkness around them was illuminated by a silver light, blooming softly from Milana. “What are you doing here?”

Enkir demands again to know where she’s going (and where her son is), and Milana starts to get suspicious and lashes out with magic instead of her sword. Maerad feels the magic battle for a second, and Milana apparently breaks through Enkir’s defenses enough to realize that Enkir arranged for the destruction of Pellinor. He goes on a rant about childish bards and manages to grab Maerad instead of trying to fight Milana as Milana expects. Enkir threatens to kill Maerad unless Milana tells him where Cai is, and Milana, though clearly desperate and freaking out about it, finally says that she has seen Enkir’s mind and he’s going to kill her and Maerad anyway, so no.

Enkir says that if she has then she’ll know that not killing them will amuse him, and Maerad cries and begs her mother not to let him hurt her when he cuts her a little bit.

Milana caves in the face of her daughter’s tears and blood, and tells Enkir where Cai might be but that she doesn’t know for sure. He lets Maerad go, but…

He strode forward and grabbed Milana’s chin, forcing her to look into his eyes. Maerad looked up in panic. What was he doing to her mother? Enkir’s eyes stabbed red flames, and Milana didn’t seem able to move, staring transfixed at his blazing eyes and shaking all over. Suddenly she collapsed, and all the light went out of her. Maerad stood trembling by Milana, staring dumbstruck at the tall man. He was standing over Milana’s body, his face still shiny with sweat. He ignored Maerad completely, as if she weren’t there.

“That’s the end of you, Milana of Pellinor,” he said, breathing hard. “There’s a lesson in that. How easy it is to break your paltry kind!” He wiped his face with his hand and spat on the ground. “You’ll make a slave, anyway. Not much of a slave.” He kicked Milana’s body, smiling with such malignancy that Maerad hid her face in terror, feeling the roaring in her ears, her world spinning, breaking, spinning…

She wakes up and keeps laying on the floor for a minute, considering everything and thinking about how her mother had been so lifeless up until Milana actually died at the cot and how Maerad had thought Milana had just refused to try and hated her for it (if you remember she compared Silvia and Milana waaaaaaay back), and decides that she hates Enkir and that she was glad her mind protected her for as long as it did.

If she had let herself remember that - the merciless breaking of Milana, the malice of Enkir, her own childish terror - she would have gone mad. But now she knew, and she would not go mad.

Cadvan gets her some water, and she stands up and is too angry to be nervous anymore. She covers it pretty well, apologizing and saying she was just overwhelmed at the idea of being here. Cadvan pretty clearly knows something’s up, but he and Saliman have to report to the council.

They do so, and Cadvan adds to his other notes (which Enkir questions the whole way) the observation that the Winterking is back on his bullshit.

“Always you were impulsive, Cadvan of Lirigon, and apt to leap where the more wise might pause and see an abyss.” [Enkir said]

“Do you claim that I lie?” said Cadvan. He seemed calm, almost serene, but Maerad sensed an overwhelming anger rising within him. There was a tense pause, and then Enkir smiled again.

“I would not have the temerity to say any such thing,” he answered smoothly. “I say only that what you suggest is unlikely in the extreme. The Winterking, the Nameless: such figures are shadows from a child’s tale of fear. I think, for all your well-meaning enthusiasm, that you are mistaken, Cadvan of Lirigon.”

The insult was clear, and Maerad saw a faint flush in Cadvan’s cheek. He took Enkir’s eye and held it, and it seemed the two wrestled together, although neither moved. Maerad held her breath. They were alike. She could not say how. Her heart hammered painfully in her breast.

… “Your arrogance will be your downfall, Cadvan of Lirigon,” [Enkir] said, and his voice was icy with rage. “It takes no Seer to prophesy that.”

After a super long and super awkward silence (written thusly: “The Nine seemed all to be inspecting their fingernails, except for Nelac, whose face betrayed exasperation”) one of the first circle is finally like ‘well this is not the first I’ve heard of hulls wandering around so maybe we can start with that at least’.

Anyway, Cadvan launches into the explanation about Maerad being the Foretold despite her attempted stares of ‘stop opening your mouth’, presumably misunderstanding and thinking it’s just her being nervous again.

And then Maerad starts thinking.

Maerad’s heart shrank, colder and colder, as he spoke. She saw Enkir shooting glances at her, and each glance was deadly. How could Cadvan not know?

Suddenly, with a blinding shock at her own folly, she remembered what had been nagging her earlier. Cadvan had known one of the Hulls who attacked them in the Broken Teeth on the Edinur Downs. Likud. That was his name. What had he said? Think we have forgotten, Cadvan, how eagerly you studied the secrets of the Dark?

Maerad stopped listening and sank into a black reverie. Was Cadvan a traitor as well? Her soul felt as if it were dying within her, but she bleakly followed her thoughts. Treachery was what had killed her mother; if she wasn’t careful, it could be the cause of her own death as well. Maybe Cadvan and Enkir were rivals in the service of the Dark; maybe that was the real source of the enmity between them. And if so, she was trapped, a trophy to be bartered between them, until such time as she was no longer useful.

She suddenly felt unutterably lonely, more lonely than even in the worst days at Gilman’s Cot. She was on her own now. As she had always been, since her mother was murdered: murdered twice, she thought bitterly, once by Enkir, and once by Gilman. No, she had Hem, at least she had Hem.

Now she had to find Hem and get out of Norloch, out of Enkir’s clutches. Could she trust Cadvan? She always had; but perhaps the friendship he had shown her had all been sham, a pretense to lull her into his power. How well did she know him, really?

The council, amidst sexism and general sideeyeing of Cadvan and Saliman and by extension Nelac, votes 5-4 against installing Maerad as a full Bard and therefore against acknowledging her as the Foretold.

Maerad had listened to the debate indifferently. It no longer mattered to her whether she was instated or not. She felt a bile rising in her throat, a hatred of all these men, a hatred of Enkir most of all — Enkir, the most treacherous. He was, she thought, out of place at a round table; he should be in a high seat with his minions at the level of his knees.

All the Bards stood and bowed, and wordlessly Maerad, Cadvan, and Saliman left the Crystal Hall. Behind her, Maerad heard the Bards sit down again, their voices rising in argument.

She paced dully through the streets of the First Circle, blind to the beauty around her. Her thoughts made her feel nauseous. If Cadvan was a traitor, she felt that she couldn’t bear it. But how could she trust him now?

End chapter

THRONE OF GLASS

Chapters 49 and 50

When last we saw our intrepid protagonist, she was writhing on the ground after being poisoned and using an inferior staff to fight a super evil dude. Also, possibly there were demons.

We reopen on basically the same events but now we’re in Dorian’s PoV.

Dorian watched in wide-eyed terror as Celaena thrashed on the ground, waving away things they couldn’t see. What was happening? Had there been something in that wine? But there was also something abnormal about the way Cain just stood there, smiling. Was there … was there actually something there that they couldn’t see?

She screamed. It was the most horrible noise he’d ever heard. “Stop it, now,” he said to Chaol as his friend rose from his spot near the ring. But Chaol only gaped at the flailing assassin, his face pale as death.

She kicked and punched at nothing as Cain squatted over her and hit her in the mouth. Blood flowed freely. It wouldn’t stop until his father said something or Cain knocked her truly unconscious. Or worse. He had to remind himself that any interference—even trying to say that her wine had been drugged—might result in her disqualification.

How’s that gonna help Celaena if Cain kills her, Dorian?

Anyway Nehemia is off to the side, Dorian notices, tracing little symbols in the air. I’d like to take this moment to point out that later people are doing stupid things like using their own blood despite being demonstrably able to write wyrdmarks in dirt and chalk, but it’s even STUPIDER now that we have the reminder that you can trace them in THIN AIR.

Anyway. Dorian stands paralyzed with fear as Cain keeps going after Celaena, and we cut to the self-same assassin’s PoV.

She would die soon.

Light and darkness. Life and death. Where do I fit in?

The thought sent a jolt through her so strong that her hands fumbled for anything to use against him. Not like this. She’d find a way—she could find a way to survive.

Instead of Celaena finding a way, Elena busts through to save her with magic and feral snarls and a crown of stars. I’ll talk about the weird shift from Elena-as-savior in the first three books to the sudden Elena-is-a-manipulative-conniving-dick in later books in the comparison, probably. Apparently she drives back the armies of the dead (unspecified dead mentioned twice: it might have been interesting if Celaena was hallucinating or even actually seeing the spirits of people she murdered, but no, otherwise they’re just demons). I will also discuss Celaena deciding she needs to save herself and promptly being saved by deus ex machina instead. (to quote Elliot Schafer of In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan, a much better YA novel that doesn’t deserve to be dragged into this but here we are anyway: ...with golden hair, as if Nature had said, “No worries, buddy, I gotcha, no nasty tiring thinking will ever be necessary, also have a crown.”)

Anyway, Cain overwhelms Elena after she magics the poison out of Celaena because sure why not.

The poison left Celaena’s body.

Cain, once again a man of flesh and blood, walked over to the sprawled assassin.

Pain, pain, pain. Pain from her leg, from her head, from her shoulder and arm and ribs …

“Stand,” Elena whispered again, and was gone. The world appeared.

Cain was close, not a trace of shadow around him. Celaena lifted the jagged remnant of the staff in her hand. Her gaze cleared.

And so, struggling and shaking, Celaena stood.

End chapter. Next chapter!

Celaena’s right leg could barely support her, but she gritted her teeth and rose. She squared her shoulders as Cain halted.

The wind caressed her face and swept her hair behind her in a billowing sheet of gold. I will not be afraid. A mark burned on her forehead in blinding blue light.

“What’s that on your face?” Cain asked. The king rose, his brows narrowed, and nearby, Nehemia gasped.

With her aching, almost useless arm, she wiped the blood from her mouth. Cain growled as he swung his sword, making to behead her.

Celaena shot forward, as fast as an arrow of Deanna.

Cain’s eyes went wide as she buried the jagged end of the staff in his right side, exactly where Chaol had said he would be unguarded.

Blood poured onto her hands as she yanked it out, and Cain staggered back, clutching his ribs.

She forgot pain, forgot fear, forgot the tyrant who stared at the burning mark on her head with dark eyes. She leapt back a step and sliced open Cain’s arm with the broken end of the staff, ripping through muscle and sinew. He swatted at her with his other arm, but she moved aside, cutting the limb as well.

He lunged, but she dashed away. Cain sprawled upon the ground. She slammed her foot into his back, and as he lifted his head, he found the knife-sharp remnant of the staff pressed against his neck.

“Move, and I’ll spill your throat on the ground,” she said, her jaw aching.

Celaena won a fight, y’all! Somehow! With a broken piece of staff! That she uses like an edged knife!

I mean. I guess at least she won. Is it bad form of me to quibble about the likelihood of a broken staff being sharp enough to slit a throat or slice through skin and muscle before the battle-hardened and experienced person you’re threatening does something else? It probably is. Ignore me. Celaena won a fight!

Cain yields and the king grudgingly declares Celaena the winner. Nehemia faints.

Celaena made a move to her friend, but her legs gave out, and she fell to the tiles. Dorian, as if released from a spell, dashed to her, throwing himself to his knees beside her, murmuring her name again and again.

But she barely heard him. Huddled on the ground, hot tears slid down Celaena’s face. She’d won. Through the pain, Celaena began laughing.

I guess we’ll just forget about Nehemia? Okay then.

Swap to Dorian’s PoV, where he insists that Celaena needs a healer.

Carefully putting his arms around Celaena, Dorian glanced toward Kaltain and Perrington [wondering who had drugged Celaena]. In doing so, he missed the look exchanged between Cain and his father. The soldier pulled out his dagger.

But Chaol saw. Cain raised his dagger to strike the girl in the back. Without thinking, without understanding, Chaol leapt between them and plunged his sword through Cain’s heart.

Blood erupted everywhere, showering Chaol’s arms, his head, his clothes. The blood reeked, somehow, of death and decay. Cain fell, hitting the ground hard.

The world became silent. Chaol watched the last breath issue from Cain’s mouth, watched him die. When it was over and Cain’s eyes stopped seeing him, Chaol’s sword clattered to the ground. He dropped to his knees beside Cain, but didn’t touch him. What had he done?

Chaol couldn’t stop staring at his blood-soaked hands. He’d killed him.

“Chaol,” Dorian breathed. In his arms, Celaena had gone utterly still.

“What have I done?” Chaol asked him. Celaena made a small noise and began shaking.

Apparently the active and actively bodyguarding captain of the royal guard of a nearly universally hated conquering tyrant killed somebody for the first time here. All of my questions could have been answered if he was a favorite given a bureaucratic and ceremonial position by his BFF the crown prince, but no, he’s supposed to be some hardened badass. Sure. Why not.

Dorian ruminates on how he doesn’t care about anything but Celaena now as he carries her to her rooms, because fuck Nehemia and his BFF I guess.

Kaltain’s PoV!

Kaltain suddenly picks up the idiot ball and demands to know why the poison didn’t work and actually says the phrase, “The damned poison I gave her.”

This is when I began to suspect that these books would never give me a political badass even if I asked really nicely, by the way.

Anyway Perrington and the king disclaim any knowledge of the scheme they hatched and used Kaltain to perpetrate and have her tossed in the dungeons, trial unnecessary, which is weirdly the only thing I applaud in this whole book. Evil conquering tyrant kings who run an entire continent and have demon helpers don’t have to explain why. It’s the only real demonstration of the king of Adarlan’s power over people in these books.

To the comparison!

COMPARISON

Hey look Pellinor continues to give everyone names, underlining the theme that everyone is important and worthy of respect and seemingly unimportant people can change the course of the world or whatever.

Hey look ToG continues to do no weaponry research and say ‘fuck Nehemia’. I shouldn’t be surprised, but the way Celaena talks about her in later books it’s a lot more like they actually hung out and cared about each other’s fates so it’s still kind of shocking how little of a damn Celaena and the book gives about her.

On that note, I’d like to compare Celaena’s immediate and unquestioning mistrust of Nehemia to Maerad’s new questioning of Cadvan and Everything He Has Ever Done.

On the one hand, okay, Celaena maybe has some compelling evidence at the time to suggest that Nehemia is working against the king of Adarlan and possibly killing some of his enforcers. But like. I still don’t know why she cares? It’s not even framed as ‘oh shit she’s gonna get herself and maybe me killed’ it’s like ‘but why would Nehemia work against the oppressive conquering machine?!’

And then she’s not. Or I mean she is, but not in that particular instance.

Maerad, on the other hand, has a sudden number of cluebats driven into her skull. Her interpretation of them might maybe be a little off, but nonetheless she was just bombarded with a shitton of memories and she KNOWS bards can be evil without being hulls. Isn’t it a tad convenient that Cadvan showed up to pick her up from slavery? Isn’t it a little weird that he keeps telling all and sundry about how she’s probably the Foretold despite telling her not to tell anybody? Even Silvia didn’t want Maerad riding off with him. Isn’t it funny how the hulls all know his name? Literally everyone comments on Cadvan’s previous dealings with the dark, even Dernhil.

I also appreciate how this doesn’t drive her immediately into trusting anybody else, because if Cadvan can betray her she is fucked. She knows there are different levels of evil, from petty every day to world ending to mid-range. I appreciate how she considers that Cadvan and Enkir might both be evil but competing.

This is a girl who hasn’t had anyone to depend on since her mother’s brain and soul were broken magically AND whose father was murdered. The two strongest people in her life (and what little we have seen of them and how people talk about them, we know both of them were incredibly strong personalities on top of being magically and physically strong. Milana looked a dude holding her child hostage straight in the eye, measured the odds, and told him to his face that she knew he was going to kill them anyway. It’s only after Maerad, a single-digits child who clearly thought her mother could solve everything, begged, that Milana gave in) died in ways they shouldn’t have been able to. How is Maerad safe?

She’s got Hem and maybe Silvia, and love how Maerad takes all of the information that she just got, assesses it, and immediately decides exactly who she can trust and who she wants to save and comes up with exactly one at 100%. It may be weird to love that and hate Dorian’s decision that nobody and nothing matters to him outside of Celaena, but here we are.

STATS

Throne of Glass

Pages: 11

Fragments: 21

Em-Dashes: 26

Ellipses: 10

Pellinor

Pages: 18

Fragments: 12

Em-Dashes: 5

Ellipses: 9

#myth reads the naming #myth reads the books of Pellinor #myth rags on throne of glass #myth talks

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