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#and i know its too late i just wish we got that instead of the 2838282838 captain carter appearances
vivelarevolution13 · 3 months
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the way I would kill for an M-rated howling commandos oneshot. she could’ve saved the mcu and this is 100% the hill I will die on
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ladysophiebeckett · 4 months
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i remember when i was doing a show in college and we were getting ready, helping each other do makeup and hair. and u know, we're all chatting about stuff and one thing led to another and one woman, older than me by maybe idk five or six years? she got talking to about her husband and how her friend tried to take him from her?? and that she and her husband had broken up various times and we are all looking at her in silence as she is detailing these break ups and her taking him back each time and i think she realized she was saying too much that she tried to wrap it and say 'but we're okay now. we're fine. he's fine'. and we were all just ....'okay that's great as long ur both happy'. we didn't know what to say. we did not know what to say.
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astrxealis · 1 year
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arctic monkeys in the philippines raghh raghhhhhh raghhhhhhhhhh
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#i am not going unfortunately but i am going to the 1975 in a. month? or so? two months? SO RAGHHHHHHHHHHH#u see my mom actually asked! heyy are u into them... like late last year and i was like kinda but mostly lune#I DID NOT KNOW THEY WERE GOING HERE UNTIL LAST MONTH !! <- stupid#tbf i only got more into their songs lately too. so yeah#idm not going but i hope everyone going has fun <3 wish i could go too but like i said it's alright!#i wna go to an mcr concert so badly tbh. hope they come here and i convince parents#uhh hozier bet will never go here ... he has never. and i doubt ever will SOBS#so enjoy !! <3#i am just. really excited for may oh my god i die every time i see love it if we made it live online#i will die then ... happily#also i think its cute how i often say 'our' instead of 'my'#uh. out of context doesnt make sense! but basically since i have a twin and we're super close yeah we include each other in almost anything#everything* + funnily sometimes we think scarily similar and really do things uh. yeah#would love to ramble about that another time bcs i'm sure it's uncommon lol not everyone has a twin#some people act normal meeting us some people are so shocked some people tell me they want a twin too and it's all weird and fascinating#how it's the most normal thing in the world for me but what about when people meet one of us and the other later?#and being friends with twins... i wonder how it feels. + we're closer than a lot of twins bcs we're insanely close but fight a TON. so. ya#anyways yeah my classmate once mentioned to me how she thinks its cute how i refer as 'us' and 'ours' even if shes not present then hehe#okay i will play games now... and continue homework later#stress ngl. cramming so badly! but i'll do my best aaa i know i got this
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angelhound · 1 year
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i think i have to start over my start over
#it is very strange and unreal to me to treat everyone i meet as trials that may or may not work out instead of like we are now chained#together by the throat because i feel. compassion for them#nothing works out forever and its because i am too liberal w the love giving#idk like theoretically. love can be me staying away from u because u aint act right. and i am doing that a lot lately but it is really odd#idk how to not feel like it means something to touch and be touched#i can explore intimacy deeper than my counterparts have ever before and then .. decide it is not going to work out regardless before i have#exhausted every possible way to make it work until either it Does or we are so sore theres nothing left to do but be done#i dont want to feel like i have this month#being that i am so frustrated with the way other people treat me i dont want to talk to anyone at all#obviously thats not right#but no one has done anything seriously wrong they just dont know what i know yet and therefore want something that i cannot give#and thats fine i really just want them to all succeed. but not by using my hands. it never works that way anyways you cannot do it for#someone. i used to wish i could because i felt deep sorrow for those who were lost. i would not even if you asked now#idk. a lot of my path right now is about experimenting what works and does not so i guess its fine that i keep being half wrong#i got distracted i was talking about. connecting. it still hurts to leave even when its been so short of time#i feel like im giving up on people. but its not my job to pull everyone out of drowning themselves and i cant even#the only true way i can help anyone is to get better and show you how. that is my gift i suppose. falling in holes so i can show u where#they are#allthough at heart i am an advocate of falling in your own holes i think it is a vital part of life and growing. i worded my analogy badly#i meant more… becoming light helps others to see their own. and especially for me i am good at verbal support/advice but i am exploring…#helping people without doing their heavy lifting for them. indirect methods. the more i am honest with myself and the world i hope it will#be meaningful. i want everyone to find it really. i think theres something so wrong with me and if there isnt its more confusing.#to feel the way i do all the time and have that be what is Right because it is so rare to see outside of me#if it is the truth then why is it nowhere else#i am fully aware it presents very narcissistically. to hear me say there is no one like me. or maybe you dont believe me idc. but i know im#not making it up because i was so desperate for my whole life to find someone and its really. not around. idk someone told me i am an#indigo child. but i know someone else who is and they are still … so confined to themselves in a way that i am just not#i gotta end this train of thought i can come to no conclusions if i cant pick a damn topic and rn clearly i cannot#there have been some who have come close to seeing but then they get stuck and i keep going#i hope that is not true forever because it is incredibly isolating to be a guiding star and not a human being
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beesspacedotorg · 2 months
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Third Leg?
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Summary: after spending time with Minho after exams, you remember something he said in the heat of the moment about your packmate Jeongin. You decide to confront Jeongin about it, because after all, what's the worst that can happen?
Warnings: sex. uh. poly ot8 and reader. more omegaverse. continuation of Dibs but can be read on its own. breeding kink?? manhandling ??? reader is lowkey a brat, uh. Jeongin's dick is huge. I actually don't know what else to add, so let me know if there's another thing I should put in here. reader is an omega but gender and genitals are unspecified as always
notes: I got possesed by a demon when I was writing this. I don't even have a breeding kink. Also if the title is bad, no. this is my first time writing Jeongin, so if it's bad no it isn't. this is his very late birthday present. Happy Birthday, King.
to read: Dibs
In most things, you try to be reasonable. It does not come easy to you, it doesn’t come easy to most people. You wish your pack would be more understanding of this sometimes. You know that’s an unfair thing to say about, to say to, your pack, but you can’t help it. You really don’t want to, you really can’t spend Jeongin’s rut with him. It’s the middle of the semester, you’re still convinced the Luna doesn’t like you, and you’d prefer not to think too hard about your relationship with anyone else. You’re comfortable with Hyunjin and you’re comfortable with Changbin. Everyone else, you think, couldn’t care whether you were around or not.
“That’s unfair to think, dove. Of course they want you around. We want you around.” Hyunjin says, he’s holding your face in his palms in a way that he often does when he talks to you.
“I know, but I really don’t feel comfortable yet, it’s only been a couple months, and it took me so long to get used to being around you.” You huff and you can feel a heat forming behind your nose. “I just really- I don’t want to spend Innie’s rut with him. I can’t.” Hyunjin hums affirmingly and swipes a finger under your eye to cut off a tear, but otherwise makes no comment about your crying.
“You want them to stop pushing,” he says, and you nod at him.
“I want them to stop pushing.”
“Okay. I’ll see what I can do. But, please don’t say we don’t want you around. We do. At the very least, I do. Okay?” You nod at him and smile slightly as he kisses your nose, it turns into a laugh when he gets insistent, peppering kisses all over your face until you’re shoving him off and smiling wide at him.
-
“So.” You have a spoonful of cereal halfway to your mouth when he comes into the kitchen. In all reality, you aren’t supposed to be here. You only stopped by for a quick snack before you went to head into work, but then there was something at the shop so your boss told you to stay home. You’d intended to detour to the campus library instead to catch up on some homework, but between your first and second bowls of cereal you had switched out of your outside clothes to sweats and an old t-shirt, and now you’re standing three feet away from Yang Jeongin.
“So?” You set the bowl down on the counter.
“You don’t want to spend my rut with me.” You draw your shoulders up to your ears defensively. You think something in your scent must turn sour because you see Jeongin wrinkle his nose.
“Wait, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m not mad or anything. I just wanted to know if you’d tell  me why.” You pause, picking up your spoon and stirring the milk around the bowl, listening to the clink clink clink of metal on ceramic. Something about his question confuses you.
“If?”
“Yeah, ‘if.’ I don’t want to pressure you for information if you’re not ready to give it. If you’re uncomfortable with spending my rut with me, that’s fine. If you don’t want to tell me you’re uncomfortable, that’s also fine.”
“I don’t want to tell you why.” He shrugs. You’re surprised at how easy that was.
“That’s fine. I have another question though.”
“Hmm?”
“Could we hangout, or something? Before you steer clear of the house for a week and a half, I want to spend time with you. Unfortunately,” he rolls his eyes, “I’ve come to enjoy your company and if I don’t spend some time with you I might do something drastic.” He’s slowly approaching you now, crowding you against the counter. He’s given you plenty of time to walk away or move, but you haven’t, so he continues.
“Drastic, you say.” He hums, taking your bowl and putting it in the sink, not bothering to rinse it out.
“Drastic like breaking every single door that separates the two of us just to make sure you’re safe.” He wraps his arms around your waist and rests his head on your shoulder, nose against your neck. His hair smells like baby powder, like his shampoo that you and Hyunjin sometimes steal. You can feel him shake with laughter when your scent changes with arousal as he gets in your space.
“You’re easy.” You hit his back slightly.
“You’re mean.”
“Will you hangout with me, though? I was mostly serious.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll hangout with you.”
“Great,” he says, and you let out a small shriek as he drags you in the direction of his room. The door is halfway closed when he yells across the house.
“I call dibs until my rut starts!” You can hear the groans and complaints through his now shut door.
-
So, you spend time with him, both before and after his rut, and nobody comments on how annoying it is that you’re monopolizing his time like you thought they would. There’s a point where Hyunjin interrupts you because he wants Jeongin’s dick in his mouth, and when you move to leave, they both start complaining. (You left anyway, not being ready for that just yet, but the idea made you feel warm regardless.) 
You don’t get to spend much time with him after that though, because then you have Minho and exams flooding your vision and your senses, and while one of those things is enjoyable, the other isn’t and for two seconds you’d like your brain to be off. Just for two. That time comes and it’s as you’re waking up from your post-fuck nap with Minho that it hits you.
“You said Innie was talking about me during rut?”
“What? Sweetheart, we just woke up.” Minho is rubbing his eyes, smacking his mouth, and blinking cutely. You feel the urge to pinch his cheek but worry that would land you in hot water so you just poke it instead.
“Yes, I know, I know, but. You said Jeongin was talking about me during his rut.”
“Yes? Why do you sound so surprised? You’re our Omega after all.” You flush again at his casual claim on you, he keeps catching you off guard with it.
“He never mentioned it to me.” Minho yawns and slings his arm over your waist.
“You were busy, of course he didn’t mention it to you. Besides, you seemed so … hesitant to spend his rut with him in the first place that he probably didn’t want to mention it at all.” You frown, brows furrowing as you think about it. You move to get out of bed when Minho stops you.
“And where do you think you’re going?”
“To talk to Jeongin.”
“It’s too early for one, and for two. I have some things planned for us.” His hand wanders up your shirt.
“But-”
“I thought you had learned enough to stop arguing with me? Does your mommy need to teach you a lesson?” He says this, but he’s not holding you back. If you wanted to, you could leave this bed and camp outside of Jeongin’s door until he woke up. But you don’t. You don’t even know what you want to say to him, and Minho is tracing soft circles on your skin and you’re struck with undeniable want. You ease yourself back into bed.
“That’s my pretty Omega. So good for me, hmm?”
-
You don’t get to talk to Jeongin until several days later. You’re too busy sleeping like the dead for a day and a half, then Chan steals you away for a celebratory dinner date, then when you finally get the chance to talk to him, you walk into his room and find him and Yongbok making out, so you’ve had to curb the conversation for later, until now.
“Innie!” He’s slipping his shoes on.
“Yeah?” He never ties them, you notice, ties them once and then slips them on and off over and over again.
“Where are you going?”
“On a walk.”
“Great.” You walk over to him and shove his jacket off his shoulders, then kick at his feet until he takes his shoes back off, and start dragging him to his room.
“What.” He’s confused despite the fact that he’s the one who let it get this far.
“I want to talk to you.”
“Okay?” He sits down on his bed, patting the spot next to him so you can sit too.
“Minho mentioned that you talked about me during your rut.” It comes out of you in a rush. Jeongin’s face flushes red. He covers his face with his hands, his huge hands with their stupidly long fingers.
“Ah. Yes. I did. Are you upset?”
“Am I up- Am I upset?” You’re incredulous. “One of the hottest men I’ve ever seen and one of my Alphas wanted me during his rut and you think I’m upset?”
“Okay, to be fair. You didn’t seem too thrilled about the idea of my rut to begin with.”
“I was new to the pack!”
“You’d been with us for three months!”
“Like I said, new!” He huffs and knocks you onto your back, laying across you in the way you’ve seen the others do to him.
“Why did you come to talk to me about it?” You flush at his question and you can hear his little chuckle. The members joke that he learned how to be mischievous from Minho and Seungmin, and you’ve never seen it more than right now.
“Oh? I see.”
“Don’t be mean.”
“Minho hyung says you like when people are mean.”
“Minho said what?!”
“I’m kidding, he refused to tell us what you two got up to, but now I know that I’m not too far off.” You grab a pillow from behind your head and smack him with it. He moves himself until your noses are touching and smiles at you. You smile back and poke around his face until your finger lands in a dimple.
“You want me to fuck you, is that it?” His voice is soft, low, because of how close he is to your face and he smirks when your scent fills the room. 
“You do?” You nod at him and he tuts.
“Minho’s taught you better than that.” You huff and pout at him. He laughs and kisses you.
“I’ll let you get away with it because you’re cute.” You beam at him and he smiles back.
He starts with kissing you, because of course he does. It’s soft and sweet and a little hesitant and it’s similar to the way you’ve seen him kiss Yongbok, but different from the way you’ve seen him kiss Seungmin and you’re struck with the realization that he sees you as something soft and precious. That he’ll hold you with the same amount of delicacy he uses to hold Felix and your heart stutters in your chest for a minute.
“Baby? What’s wrong?” He’s pulling away, looking at you with wide eyes as your scent changes. “Did I hurt you?” You shake your head at him, pulling him close for a hug for a minute as you calm yourself down.
You’ve never had a pack before, your culture has moved away from it. You had to move from your family for school and since then you’ve been relatively alone. It’s been a while since you’ve felt loved, and when you’re faced with the sheer amount of it the eight of them have to give it overwhelms you every time. He hasn’t hurt you, it’s the opposite.
“Nothing’s wrong.”
“Ah, I see. Hyungs’ said you might cry a little. That’s okay. Do you want to stop?” You shake your head at him, answering with a verbal “no” after he stares at you pointedly. You lean in to kiss him again and he responds with the same gentleness he did before and you can feel yourself slicking up in your pants. You hear him take a sharp inhale and then you feel his grip tighten where his hands were resting on the side of your face and neck.
“Jesus, I can see why hyung keeps you to himself all the time. You smell so fucking good.” He stops kissing you to start making out with your neck, you can feel him starting to scent you and you tug at him, whining.
“Innie-”
“Yeah, I know, but-” he cuts himself off with a groan and you can feel his hips press into yours and dear God.
“Is that your leg?”
“No.” You whine again. There’s no fucking way his dick is that big. You tell him so.
“Well. Prepare to eat your words because it is.”
You huff at him again, and really, he should spend less time around the more sarcastic pack members because his attitude is making your eye twitch. He sees it and smiles mischievously at you before landing a soft peck right below the same eye.
“I’d like to see how you handle Hannie or Seungmin hyung. They’re worse than I am.”
“They also probably move faster than you do.” He grumbles at you at that and gets to work undressing the two of you. He’s sliding his hoodie off when you’re filled with the urge to bite his biceps. They’ve gotten bigger since you’ve been introduced to him and you think it’s crazy because you hardly ever see him work out. Suddenly, there’s a large palm against your forehead and any forward movement you had started is quickly stopped.
“What are you doing?” You can feel your teeth click together as your mouth closes and you blink a couple times.
“Nothing.” He squints at you.
“You were going to bite me, weren’t you?”
“No.”
“You’re a liar!” You’re being manhandled now, and you refuse to go down without a fight. You grab a pillow and nail him in the face with it.
“I am not! I’ve never- don’t pull my hair- I’ve never lied!”
“You’re doing it right- why are your nails so fucking long- right now!”
“Nuh uh!”
“Did you just fucking- ow! What the hell?” You finally manage to get your teeth on his arm and it’s just as great as you imagined it would be. Your victory is incredibly short lived because between one second and the next Jeongin has you pinned to the bed. Your cheek is pressed against the mattress and he has your arm twisted in a way that’s mildly uncomfortable, but that’s overshadowed by how you can feel him pressed against you to keep you pinned. He’s all lean muscle and you can feel where his shoulders press against yours and where his cock is pressed against your ass and if you tilt your hips just right, you can feel him brush against your slick hole.
“Oh? Does my pretty Omega want something?” You can hear the laughter in his voice. You can also hear how it’s dropped three octaves and you can feel it rumbling from his chest. You can feel how his cock is starting to leak against your skin.
“Jeongin-”
“I think,” he grabs your other arm, pinning your wrists at the small of your back, “that if you want anything you should beg for it.”
“Innie, you’re not being fair-”
“I’m not being fair? You bit me. I have you pinned. If you want anything from me, you’re going to have to work for it.” You turn your head into the mattress and let out a small sob, wiggling a bit in Jeongin’s hold. His hands loosen on your wrists and he lifts his weight off of you enough that you could get out if you wanted to. Minho did this too, gave you signals with his body to let you know that it was okay to not want it, the problem is that you do. You like how Jeongin has you pinned, and you like the humiliation that’s going to come with begging for it.
He notices you haven’t moved and so his grip tightens on your wrists again. You feel the chuckle he lets out as he presses his weight down onto you again and you know your scent must be doing something because he inhales with his nose pressed straight against your neck.
“Get to begging, baby. I have all night.” You whine at that, wiggling and trying to push your hips back against his to fuck yourself onto his cock, but he pulls his hips back, readjusts until you couldn’t reach his cock unless you dislocated something and he laughs at you.
Jeongin does have all night, it turns out, because you spend a considerable amount of time with your forehead pressed into the mattress trying to will the shame that comes with wanting out of your body. At one point, he asks you if you’re alright, dropping the act for a bit and when you respond he resorts to taunting you.
He’s doing it now, taking his ridiculously large dick in his hand and gathering some of the slick that’s leaked between your legs to jerk it. You can hear the wet noises it’s making and you can’t help but think of how much louder it would be if he were actually fucking you. It turns out that your Alpha was thinking the same thing because he starts talking, and each word chips away at the lump in your throat.
“Fuck, you smell so good, baby. Your slick is so warm, I bet it’d be warmer if I got it straight from the source, yeah? What do you think? You’re leaking so much you’ve made a wet spot on the bed, maybe I should fuck that instead, since you wanna be stubborn.” You whine in response.
“No? You don’t want me to do that? I think I should. Or should I just finish on your back?” Your next answering whine is more of a wail.
“Oh, I see. You’re a little cumwhore is that it? Want me to come inside of you? Hmm? Get our Omega pregnant?” You moan this time, drooling onto the sheets. Jeongin grabs your head and turns it to the side so he can see you better, or so that you can see him and how he’s about to waste his cum on you instead of in you. The drool smears onto your cheek and you can feel your eyes start to well up with tears because you know he’s close.
“Please.” It escapes from you in a pathetic whimper and the hand that was stroking his cock pauses.
“What was that? I don’t think I heard you.” You know he did, but you also know that if you don’t repeat yourself and beg good enough he really will make good on his promise to finish on your back and leave you there.
“Innie, Jeonginnie, please. I want- I want-”
“Want what? Hmm? A slice of cake, a new Minecraft update?” You huff at his mocking, but it’s too wet to really hold any weight, and you can feel your lip wobbling, so you’re not surprised when what you say next is more of a sob than anything else.
“Your cock. Jeongin, Alpha, please. You said you wanted me during your rut, don’t you want me now?” It’s a low blow, and even through your desperation you know that, but you’ll do what it takes to get him to finally stick his huge dick in you.
“Oh, baby. I do. Don’t worry.” His fingers are searching for your entrance, stretching you out just enough for it to not burn too bad, but you’re so wet, and both of you are so needy, you know that you’ll just have to deal with the pain of not preparing for his stupid dick later because you want it now.
“Then,” he made the mistake of letting go of your wrists to grab your hip instead, and you ball your hands into fists and hit the bed in frustration, “why aren’t you fucking me?” He huffs a laugh.
“All that and you’re still giving me trouble? You’re lucky you’re cute, Omega. So lucky.” You start to kick your feet at him but you’re stopped by the fact that he’s slowly starting to push into you, making a home for himself inside your body and slowly forcing the breath from your lungs.
It burns, and you expected it to with how unprepared you were, but it feels good and you don’t care so that will have to be a later-you problem.
“Jesus, you feel so good, baby. Better than I imagined.” He starts a rough rhythm right off the bat, and you’re needy enough that it doesn’t bother you, besides, you’re pretty sure he was edging himself earlier, so he’s entitled to this.
“Felix hyung and I talked about it, you know. When I was in rut. You left.” The last part comes out as a soft growl, and he coughs to get himself in check before pressing a soft kiss between your shoulder blades.
“You left and I thought about how warm you’d feel inside. Felix wondered too, said he wanted to know how sweet you were.” You hear him chuckle. “Y’know I got him to come untouched from just talking about you, pretty baby?”
You gasp, letting out a shuddery moan at that, and you hear Jeongin laugh above you. You were already halfway to delirious with how good he was fucking you- hard enough to shake the bed and bang the headboard against the wall- but something about knowing that the pack wants you always makes you just that much wetter, always makes your head that much lighter, so you can’t help but clench down around his cock and get everything around you soaked with more of your slick.
“Jeonginnie, Alpha, I- please- I want to-”
“Yeah, yeah, go ahead, baby. I won’t make you beg for this one.” He presses himself down against your back, knocking your knees out from under you so you’re flat against the bed and have nowhere to go, nothing to do but take it.
“The next one, though. I make no promises.”
The new angle has you going dumber than you were before and you can feel Jeongin’s breath in puffs of hot air against your neck. You whine at him, moaning as you’re trapped underneath his body and when you come it’s with white spots dancing across your vision. You’re just coming down when you feel him start to pull out and you surprise both yourself and him with the growl that comes out of you.
“Yang Jeongin, so help me God if you do not come inside of me-” He shuts you up by doing just that, bullying his knot into you until it pops and rolling the two of you onto your sides so you’re not laying in the multiple spots of wet that have stained his sheets.
“You’re bossy.” It’s said against your hair while his stupidly big hands come up to massage the crick in your neck that’s finally made itself present. “How do you get away with that when you’re with Minho hyung?”
“I listen to him. Mostly.” He pinches you, you pinch back. You sit in silence for a minute.
“Was it good? Or, as good as you imagined?” You try not to sound insecure as you say it, but you know that you’ve probably missed the mark.
“Better. Way better.” He kisses the spot he was just massaging and winds his arm around your middle. “Nap time. You’ll need your energy when I get you back for being a little shit.”
“I wasn’t.” He scoffs at you.
“Yeah, sure. And my name is Chan.”
“Hi, Chan, how are you?”
“Cancel what I said earlier. The second we aren’t locked together anymore I’m kicking you out.” You laugh at him.
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sophiethewitch1 · 4 months
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What We Want - Chpt. 1 - Not Quite An Isekai
In Which A Romantic Breaks The Universe
(Yandere!batboys x f!reader) 18+ MDNI!
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SUMMARY
Another lonely birthday, another empty year. You miss your family. You're late for your bills and rent, and even then, you got robbed last Tuesday.
Still, you buy yourself a cupcake, because you need it. I mean, hey. What's dessert for if not to get over cheating boyfriends and dead relatives?
As you blow out the candle, watching the clock switch from 11:59 pm to midnight of the next day, you make a wish.
And because the world doesn't like to make much sense, it comes true. Your life is suddenly flipped on a dime, and you're stuck trying to catch up with it. Fantasy becomes reality. You're a Wayne now, apparently. Or you used to be. You're loved, you're rich, you're talented and powerful.
Well, sort of. Careful what you wish for, right?
(TRIGGER WARNINGS AND MASTERLIST HERE)
PREV - NEXT
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You awake to the sound of your phone ringing. You slap to the edge of your couch, aiming for the rickety side table. Your wrist smacks against the corner, and you hiss in pain. It’s a few inches too high, and wood, not metal. Seems you somehow got to your bed during the night, but you didn’t remember it. Still, you get your phone. Through squinted eyes, you find the screen, its 3:15, far too early for your drunken suffering- Wait no, it’s mid-afternoon. Still, you feel tired, and you want to sleep.
You answer the phone anyway, putting it on speaker and resting your head back against the pillow. Your head doesn’t hurt that bad anyway. God was smiling down on you today.
“Miss, are you awake?” a man’s voice rings through your apartment.
Who was that? Who called you Miss of all things? Your boss didn’t remember your name sure, but he just called you ‘intern’ instead. You’d been an official employee for six months now. Right, conversation, paying attention, replying like a normal person.
“Hm, yeah, I’m awake,” you say, fighting back the urge to yawn.
“You don’t sound very awake, Miss,” the man replies, his tone familiar.
“Who is this?”
He sighs, “Miss, are you being sarcastic?”
“What? No, I’m serious,” you confusedly answer.
“…This is Alfred, Miss. Now, Master Wayne has asked me to-”
“Master who now?” you cut this Alfred off, doubly confused now. Wayne? Like, the Wayne family? The rich, philanthropist one?
He sighs again, “I understand the relationship between the two of you is quite strained, and this is a personally difficult day for you, but he insists on seeing you. Your birthday gala starts at 7, as I’ve told you, and your assistant will be over at 4. I ask that you unblock both their accounts, as I would much rather I didn’t have to talk to you when you’re like this.”
“What?” you repeat, like the idiot you are.
“Good day, Miss. And happy birthday.”
He hangs up. You blink down at your phone. And then you roll your eyes, because oh my god are Molly’s pranks getting ridiculous. You never should have told her about your weird fascination with the Waynes, she was getting back at you hard for your drunken mistake.
You make a lot of those. Well, life goes on. You’ll put glitter in Molly’s car’s vanity mirror or something.
You turn off your phone, and let your face slam right back into your pillow. For a while, you try to go back to sleep.
…Something about this isn’t right. You, like the freak you are, take a deep inhale of your pillow. It smells like you, like the laundry soap you use, but it also smells like… Well, you don’t know. All you can think about is your new boss’s wife and her awful perfume that swallows the office space like noxious gas.
Your pillow… kind of smells like that. Your first ungodly thought is that, somehow, you spent a torrid night with your boss’s wife. The second is that Molly needs to die for her crimes.
You let your crusty, bleary, stinging eyes blink open.
Hm. Why is there a chandelier in your bedroom? You shoot upright in the bed, silk sheets falling to your lap. Silk sheets you can’t afford. You look around the room, eyes widening at the space. The bed is king-sized, while you had barely been able to afford your twin-sized mattress. The living room isn’t in the same space as the bedroom. You can’t see the kitchen and the bathroom to your right has shining marble tiles. And even then, the decoration’s are luxurious and clean, compared to your livable chaos.
You look to your left, and your mouth drops open.
A floor-to-ceiling window, showing the Gotham horizon with the morning sun. Fog and clouds twist around spiralling gothic towers, reaching down to the people down below. You’re looking out over the bay, and you can see the Narrows barely peaking through the mist, desperately clawing for any sunlight.
The sun rises on the right of your building, not the left. You don’t have a view, you’re on the fourth floor and there’s a brick building directly across from your window. You live in the Narrows.
You live in the Narrows. You press your face to the cool glass and look down. Oh my god, you can’t see the streetside. You’re too high up. You’re somehow on the opposite side of Gotham City.
Stumbling away from the window, you do your best not to touch anything, because you know it’s all too expensive for your peasant hand. Let’s start thinking… whatever was happening to you, through. Molly might kidnap you for a joke, sure, but she was barely any richer than you, and that was just because her boyfriend lived with her. She could not afford this level of fuckery.
So… so… is this, what? A big joke from the universe? Did someone else kidnap you? You have to have been kidnapped, right? Why the fuck would someone kidnap you?
Did the Joker kidnap you? Was he coming to finish you off? End your family line?
You reach down and pinch yourself hard enough you yelp. When the dazzlingly perfect apartment doesn’t disappear, it’s much harder to force yourself not to panic. Okay, okay, okay. It’s fine. This’ll be fine, and it could still be a dream. That whole pinching thing was a myth, right? Argh, maybe you should’ve listened to Molly when she was trying to get you into astral projection.
Wait, Molly!
You go back to your bed and pick up your phone.
It’s… it’s not your phone. What was this? The iPhone 27? You didn’t keep up with those sorts of things, but it looked expensive. Everything here looked expensive.
You think you’re going to go into anaphylactic shock. Wait, no, it’s hyper-something. What was it? Argh, you can’t do this right now!
You press your thumb to the ‘on’ button, and luckily whoever this phone belongs to is not worried about their privacy because there's no password. Stupidly, you look for Molly’s name in your list of contacts.
BLOCKED - ‘Bruce Wayne’
BLOCKED - ‘Damian Wayne’
BLOCKED - ‘Dick Grayson’
BLOCKED - ‘Tim Drake’
‘Alfred :)’
BLOCKED - ‘The Wicked Witch of the West’
You drop the phone. Because the floors, even in the bedroom, are marble, it shatters like glass. You make a sound like a dying chicken as you watch the piece of technology make a bouncing break for the bathroom. It slides to a stop against the giant hot tub, and you pick it up and cradle it between your palms like a newborn.
The screen still works. Even if it’s cracked to high heaven and takes multiple attempts to turn it on, it still eventually does. Thanks God, won’t forget this. You hiss as you open the contacts again, pricking your fingers against the sharp edges.
As fate commands, you click on the ‘Bruce Wayne’ contact. The description is very simple.
‘Massive dickhead. Hope you jump off a building and fall like a rock.’
You go back. Click on ‘Dick Grayson’.
‘Massive dickhead’s beloved firstborn. Most annoying man on earth congrats.’
Again. ‘Damian Wayne’ this time.
‘Massive dickhead’s massive dickhead. Demon? Grinch? Somebody kill it with fire please.’
And finally, ‘Tim Drake’.
‘The only acceptable one.’
…Well, at least your kidnapper liked one of the Waynes. Maybe they kidnapped you because you were their opposite or something? You definitely wouldn’t call Bruce motherfucking Wayne a massive dickhead. Or maybe they wanted to kill you.
The Molly prank idea was becoming more sound. Maybe she won the lottery and didn’t tell you.
You click on ‘Alfred :)’. He’s the one that called you earlier and also called you ‘Miss’, for some reason.
It’s just a bunch of heart emojis. Coherent, sure.
You go back, and click on the final of the list, ‘The Wicked Witch of the West’.
‘Don’t listen to Alfred. She wants to eat you.’
She wants to what?
A knock at the door has you jumping a foot in the air and nearly banging your head on the bathtub’s lip. You hear someone call your name through the door, and you freeze. Who… how? They call your name again, this time their voice louder. They bang on the door.
You creep over to the door.
“Ma’am, if you don’t open this right now, I’m quitting! We both know Alfred contacted you this morning, and he’s going to be very upset if I do so. There’s only so many assistants in this city!” from this close, you can recognise the voice belongs to a woman. She rattles the doorknob.
You lean down, peering through the peephole. The woman has a harsh face, a perfect pencil suit and her blonde hair in a pretty updo. Her makeup is impeccable. You get the feeling this woman is also more expensive than you can afford, despite her calling your name.
Bewildered, you open the door. She slams through like a battering ram, strutting 6-inch stilettos into the space.
She huffs, and then turns around. You can see very clearly she’s trying to keep her calm, but you did leave her at the door for like five minutes. It wasn’t your fault, you thought you were hallucinating or something.
“Ma’am,” she stresses the word, “Please unblock me.”
You blink at her, “Uh, sure.”
She waits, her hands clasped together in front of her.
“Oh- oh, right now?” you stutter, pulling the phone out from your noticeably lavish pyjamas.
Wait had someone changed you in your sleep? What the hell was going on? Maybe you should be more concerned about that, honestly. Still, you do as she commands.
She watches you like a hawk as you stare at the cracked phone. Your eyes flick up at her, and then back down at the screen. Slowly, watching for her reaction, you unblock ‘The Wicked Witch of the West.’ She nods, not even commenting on what was apparently her name in ‘your’ phone.
You were still slightly concerned about the ‘She wants to eat you’ thing, but she seemed… alright. Kind of scary. But not cannibalistic.
Still, this was Gotham after all. A healthy dose of fear was what kept people like you alive.
“Ma’am, did you just wake up? It’s already 4 o’clock,” she gives you a subtly disapproving look, and your shoulders sink like you’re being scolded.
“Yeah- yeah, sorry about that,” you stammer, embarrassed for some unknowable reason. This really was just like a dream. You could tell something was very obviously wrong, but you were still going along with everything like it wasn’t. Everyday life.
You were going to focus on that, this had to be just a dream. Just go along with… this, and then you’d wake up. And if you could manage to get over the uncanny valley-ness of the very obvious wealth surrounding you, maybe you could enjoy it.
You had always wanted to be rich. This was just your brain spewing out random information. Better than the nightmares you usually get.
You’re abruptly pulled back into focus when the woman clears her throat loudly. Ah, shoot. Had she been talking? You definitely hadn’t been listening.
“We need to get you ready, Miss,” she says like she’s repeating herself. You nod, because yes, of course, getting ready.
Ready for what? You think if you ask her she’ll yell at you. So when she grabs your arm and tugs you along, you follow. She pulls you into the bathroom, sitting you down in front of the mirror on a stool. Because this bathroom has stools in it. You stare at your reflection warily, before glancing up at her behind you.
“The stylists will be here in about forty minutes, and the makeup artists in two hours,” she pauses, giving you a strange look, “I appreciate you being so cooperative today. I understand this is all a delicate matter, but I am under Mr. Wayne’s orders first and foremost.”
“Wayne… like Bruce? Bruce Wayne?” you ask, even though there’s really no one else it could be. Still, you have to check.
Because it’s impossible. Even if it’s a dream, it still feels completely impossible. There was just something inside you that said ‘that can’t be right’, even if you knew none of this was real.
You realise, quite late, that you don’t even know this lady's name. ‘Wicked witch’
“Yes, Ma’am. Bruce Wayne of Wayne Enterprises,” she answers you, pulling out her phone and flicking through it. She doesn’t even respond to what you have to assume is an inane question. Maybe ‘dream you’ often asks stupid questions.
‘Normal you’ certainly does.
“Oh… okay…” the conversation drifts off, and she makes no attempt to fill it. Aren’t P.A.s supposed to… you don’t know, fix that? Or maybe she’s not your personal assistant, just an assistant. Silly you, making assumptions.
This bathroom deserves assumptions. You wonder if the gold frame of the mirror is, y’know, real.
The blonde woman walks out of the room without speaking another word to you. You think maybe you should follow her, but instead you just sit there with your hands on top of your knees. Your leg bounces up and down, and you glare it into submission, ignoring the way your muscles jump.
You look at yourself. You look… different. The bags under your eyes are worse than usual, and your gaze sunken into your face. Your hair is sad and oily, knotted in places. Your skin is almost waxy.
You look sick. You look like… you remember, you look like…
In the light of the day, you refuse to think about it. You’re not allowed to, you’ll break if you do.
You just don’t. Even if your reflection just confirms that you have to be dreaming.
Instead, you turn your gaze to the tub. You raise your hand to your hair again. Back in your apartment, you’d had a shower. It was a surprisingly good shower because you’d invested in a showerhead with better pressure. Still, it wasn’t a bath.
You missed bathes. You get up, close the door, lock it, and sink inside the tub. You take off your silky pyjamas inside the bath, and then you toss them on the floor beside you. Sitting there, you watch through the giant window at the world down below. At the ravens and pigeons that fly through the fog, at the few people you can see through the windows and balconies.
You press your cheek against the glass. It’s cold. You’re cold.
You’re sitting in an empty bathtub naked. What are you doing?
Rubbing at your eyes, you reach over to what you think are the controls. They all look very complicated, but there’s a switch that goes from blue to red, so you turn that. It takes another button press for the water to start flowing out. Steam fills the room, and you let out a sigh of contentment.
“Ma’am! Ma’am, the stylists will be here in ten minutes, and you need to get out. Ma’am? Ma’am!”
You shoot up in the bath, splashing water over the overflowing sides. Blinking, you turn your head back and forth and then sink back down. Oh. You’re still here. You went to sleep, but you’re still here. Maybe it’s one of those dreams where you think you wake up, but you haven’t. Or, ah, something similar.
You feel so tired. You really, really didn’t miss this feeling.
Quickly, you wash your hair and body, scrubbing furiously at the oily sweat on your skin. You stumble out of the bath on shaky legs, dry yourself off, and almost trip in your haste to get out the door. Showing off your negligible intelligence, you only realise you’re still wearing just a towel till she manhandles you towards the closet.
A walk-in closet, because of course it is. You think it’s bigger than your apartment. It has a flat bench in the centre because evidently all the walking around you’ll be doing will require a fainting couch.
The woman gives you, horrifyingly, a set of lacy, racy underwear. When all you do is just gape at her, she sighs, takes them from your hands and gives you a simple black set with no frills. You look down at them clasped in your wet hands. They’re clean, and they seem to be your size.
Still, this is a bit…
“Are these… new?” you ask, because there’s no tag or anything.
“Yes, Ma’am. But if you want, we do have some sets still unpacked at the back of the closet,” she says, going along with your weirdness. Even if she was a bit scary, you were grateful for that, at least. You guess celebrities were usually quite eccentric, so maybe this wasn’t out of the ordinary for her.
“Yes, please.”
She gives you a pair of Victoria’s Secret bra and underwear, plain beige and still in their plastic packaging.
“Cool, sweet, thanks,” you say, and she shakes her head just slightly.
She puts a white bathrobe down, and leaves the room, closing the door behind her. You lock it, and then you put on the underwear that you did not buy. The whole experience is strange, but still, you just go along with it. You’re a go-along-with-it kind of person.
You were… you were starting to not like that all of a sudden. Still, out of your depth in an odd dream is no place to start doubting your entire personality. You put on the bathrobe too. And the fluffy slippers that are tucked under them, with great pleasure.
You hear the many voices before you open the door. When you step through it, you feel like you’ve stepped onto the set of a movie. Or well, the backstage at least. Women and men are flittering about the chic apartment in the sort of rush you’d only seen working at BatBurger.
The woman from before spots you and you feel like a rabbit under a hawk's gaze when her brown eyes narrow on you. She strides over to you and then, once again, clamps her grip around your wrist and drags you over. You wonder as you stumble after her if she’s got some meta-human in her because no slim, perfectly put-together lady should be this damn strong.
She pulls you towards a set of three people. You can immediately tell they’re the heads of the operation, with an aura that squashes you like a pancake. Two women, one man. They’re all dressed to the nines, in their own unique ways.
They all look at you with assessing glances. You fear you do not measure.
“I’m surprised, Jeanine. You actually got her this time,” a woman with a black bob and a rocker look comments, her red lips twisting into a grin. You realise, with a start, that the blonde woman who was not incorrectly nicknamed ‘The Wicked Witch of The West’ was actually called Jeanine.
Lovely, you were getting the hang of things.
“Yes, she was very agreeable this afternoon. I’d like to apologise once again for any past issues,” Jeanine says, all business. You still have no idea what’s going on, and definitely no idea what they’re talking about. But what you assumed was the jist of it… was that ‘dream you’ wasn’t a very harmonious person.
Lovely, lovely, lovely. This was a bit of a personal nightmare for a people pleaser like you. Actually, it was a literal personal nightmare. Lovely.
“The disrespect I’ve faced is immeasurable. But, Monsoir Wayne pays exceedingly well. Still, it’s nice to actually have our dear client before us,” the other woman says, appraising her french tip nails. Which, considering she said ‘monsoir’ and the whole accent, would make a lot of sense. She’s closer to a classic beauty than her punk rock friend, with brown hair coiled and beautiful pearls across her neck.
“I don’t know, I thought I’d be getting paid for doing no work tonight. Ruins my plans,” the man teases, and you’re relieved at the kindness in his gaze. He’s wearing a suit with a dazzling but trendy red tie. His tie has an odd metallic sheen to it, a fabric your peasant mind couldn’t place.
If Molly were here, she’d jab you in the stomach with an elbow and whisper “One of those homosexuals, me thinks” even if she was bi herself.
You wish Molly were here.
“Yes, well, I’d like it if we could all work together tonight. And get to it quickly, the drive to the Wayne Tower isn’t a quick one with the evening traffic, so, if you’d please.”
And that was that. No introductions, no extra pleasantries. You were swept away in a whirl of fabric and hair products.
They stuff you into a gorgeous evening gown, its colour reminding you of a sparkling midnight sky. Rhinestones dot down the sides, coalescing at the bottom. You hope they’re not real diamonds. Gloves, a bracelet, a necklace, and dripping pearl earrings. It was all impeccably put together, and you felt uncomfortable with such items on you. You didn’t dare ask how much it all cost, despite being desperately curious.
They slip towering 6-inch stilettos on you despite your protests, cake your face in enough powder to make you sneeze. Dramatic liner and eyelashes that felt heavy on your face, a lipstick that had to be coated twice because you chewed on your lip with nerves.
And then you’re done, dizzy and confused but thoroughly made up.
You get one quick look at your reflection before Jeanine is pulling you up and out of the seat.
They’d gotten rid of the signs.
You ignore the part of you that desperately wants them back and follow Jeanine out into the elevator.
Despite the fact that it is, in fact, a very long drive to the Wayne Tower, she does not seem inclined to say a single word to you. The ride is awkward and quiet, broken only by the sound of you pressing buttons in the back of limousine, and even that stops when you get an unimpressed look from her.
So you just sit there, vibrating at frequencies unseen by man.
When you finally arrive at Wayne Tower, the crowd shocks you. There are so many paparazzi, nearly overflowing the flimsy barricades and onto the carpeted marble entryway. The tower itself is a display of outrageous wealth, towering over the rest of Gotham City easily. You think for a while it’d been the tallest building in the world, but you couldn’t remember your elementary school education all that well.
It wasn’t like this information would’ve been useful at any point in your life. You still don’t think it will be, as this is all a very vivid dream.
The door opens, and immediately you’re overwhelmed by the camera flashing. You hunch away from the lights like a vampire, but Jeanine pushes you forward.
“We’re already very late, Ma’am. No time for faffing around,” she says from behind you, hand placed squarely against your back.
What? But all you’d done was rush around all afternoon! You know, if you’d just taken one of the trains or even the Skyrail you’d have been able to avoid this. Still, you’re out the door, up the steps, not given a moment to react to the questions thrown at you.
“Miss! Miss, are you here to celebrate your birthday? Don’t you think it’s a bit callous to ignore the tragedies of today?”
“Miss! Is it true you’ve been disowned?”
“Miss, miss, about your family…!”
Oh, well, even if what they’re saying is awful, it’s a relief. It’s your birthday again. You think the guy who had called you said happy birthday. That meant none of this could possibly be real. See? It had to be a dream. Had to, had to… You decide to ignore literally everything else they say, letting the words float through your very hollow brain.
Life’s a lot easier when you play it a little stupider.
The heels and the stairs are an awful combination, and if it wasn’t for Jeanine’s herculean strength you’re certain you’d be tumbling down them right now. Your assistant… secretary… lady is careful not to let that happen, however.
Maybe you judged her too quickly. You appreciated anyone who made sure you didn’t fall flat on your ass. It was a good quality for a person to have.
You don’t get to appreciate the Wayne Tower all done up. You don’t get to stare at the lights and flowers strung into the art deco rafters. You don’t get to stare and gape and look like an idiot, because Jeanine wants you to look like an idiot elsewhere.
In the middle of all these fucking random rich people you don’t know. Hurray!
You’re shoved into a group of people, with Jeanine at your back. She starts rattling off names and titles and relations, and you can’t make heads or tails of any of it. You turn to look at her with what must be a genuine deer-in-headlights fear, and she stops and then starts speaking slower.
Thank God for that. Well, since she’s making an effort, you do too.
“This is Lianne Jenkins, wife of Senator Jenkins,” Jeanine whispers into your ear, and you nod. You knew him, you’d voted for him, in fact. How the fuck were you here talking to his wife? She’s not looking at you, instead talking to someone beside her. She turns, and you put on the best smile you can.
The socialite physically startles when she sees your face. Great.
“Oh- oh my!” her voice stutters over your name like she can barely even remember it, “I didn’t know you’d be here tonight, it’s a pleasure to see you!”
It… it was your birthday party, right? Your name was on a giant banner at the back of the room, so you had to assume it was. Dream logic. Just- just blame it on dream logic.
“Oh, look it’s Gerald! I’m sorry my dear I really have to-”
And she just ditched you. At your birthday party. You blink at the space she just evacuated and then turn around to Jeanine. You probably give her some sort of weird Kubrick stare, and she winces. She then looks around for someone else for you to talk to. From the growing despair on her face, you can assume she doesn’t find anyone.
“I don’t want to be here,” you say.
“I said I’d quit, remember?” she replies. You think she’s lying to you. She looks about as desperate as you feel, which is a lot. You were seeing a lot of sides of ‘The Wicked Witch of the West’ today. She seemed less wicked and more generally insane. Hey, at least the two of you had something in common.
You turn away from her, eyes roving over the party. You recognise some people, because you know, they’re all rich and famous. That guy over there was in a movie you pirated recently. The one on your right seems to be someone important in online tech spaces. You think he did NFTs or something, which made you sad because you did not want that sort of person at your birthday party. Oh, the woman on the other side of the room eating canapes is an Instagram influencer, you think. The fantasy of a Wayne party gala is fading fast, falling out of the sky like a comet of fire to bring doom and death to mankind.
You are so out of your depth.
You turn back around to Jeanine.
“I really, really don’t want to be here,” you repeat, and Jeanine, shocking you, grabs your hands in hers.
“Please stay. Just for thirty minutes, please,” she begs you, her dark eyes pleading. And because you are the living personification of a doormat, you sigh.
“Alright. But only for thirty. And I’m getting very, very drunk.”
“Thank you, thank you. I’ll be right beside you the entire time-”
You decide, oh so kindly, that you are totally ditching Jeanine, too. Spinning in your dress, you make a grand effort to get away from her, but she dogs you loyally. The goliath-like heels you’re wearing don’t make it any damn well easier. Still, you don’t stop trying to outrun the tiny, control freak of a woman. Because while she definitely seems to desperate to stay near you, you are also very desperate to not be near her.
Your hand itches. Randomly, it itches quite a lot. You don’t know why you only notice what must be a bug bite inside the gala, but you do. Awkwardly, you scratch your palm with your other hand, staring down at the skin. It doesn’t look red yet, but it honestly it’s getting kind of annoying.
You sigh again, and turn to ask Jeanine if she had any lotion or something, because you assume that’s what stalking personal assistants are for and… she’s not there. Somehow you lost her, without even noticing.
You throw your arms into the air. Yippee! Now, it’s time for alcoholism, as is the answer to all problems in life. It’s what the loving and maternal arms of Gotham had taught you, after all.
You stumble your way to a wall where there’s a set of food, and a server with a silver platter carrying a bunch of champagne glasses. You stop the guy before he moves again, your hands in the air like you’re trying to soothe a scared animal.
You point at the tray, “I want that.”
He looks at you with mild horror. You thought rich people were weird, like he’d be used to something like this. It wasn’t like you were asking for the shirt off his back or cocaine or something. If it wasn’t obvious, you really didn’t know anything about what rich people did.
“It’s my birthday. It’s totally cool. I asked Bruce myself,” You bald-faced lie, like you’d ever even met the man. Like a predator, you watch the man carefully put the tray down next to the rest of the food, and then he slowly backs away from you. Well, okay, you could admit that was kind of weird. This night is getting to you. God knows this loud-as-fuck party was more overstimulating than anything you could usually stand. And so bright. What a shitty fairytale ball.
You grab one of the flutes of champagne and swirl it, sniff it, and then once you’ve gone through the polite checklist of drinking you throw it back like it’s a shot of vodka. There were people watching after all. Wait, they’d probably seen you corner that poor server boy.
Hmm, this requires cake. You choose a random slice that looks like it might be strawberry something, and dig in eagerly. It tastes fucking fantastic. The cream is sweet and soft, and the jam has a pop of flavour you totally weren’t expecting. And the cake itself was a lovely, spongy texture.
Grand. Maybe if you just sat here like a wallflower and ate food and drank liquor you could handle this. It wasn’t any different from how you behaved at Molly’s college parties.
So, you decide to work your way up and down the buffet table. Most of it’s delicious, but when you try things you can’t quite recognise, there’s a twenty-percent chance it’ll be disgusting and you’ll have to spit it out to avoid poisoning. You’re careful not to try the caviar, despite your own curiosity. You’d heard that it just tasted like salty water, and that didn’t mix well with whatever you were currently putting in your stomach.
You look down at your hand. It’s another piece of the sponge cake, wedged between a napkin so your dirty fingers didn’t touch it and you didn’t have to bother with another plate. You giggle, because it really is that good.
Ah, this is great. You could do this forever, screw thirty minutes. You eye the entrance the servers keep coming in and out of, and wonder if Jeanine would get mad if you tried to follow them into the kitchens. Probably, probably…
The question was, was it worth it? You’re debating the merits when the sound of someone's shoes stops next to you. You think it’s a man, and you consider barking at him to get away from the buffet, but decide you’ve tried everything and can probably share again. It takes great strength, though. You decide you deserve some more champagne for the kindness.
It’s after a moment that you realise he’s not taking anything.
“Oh, so you actually showed up? Colour me surprised,” a familiar, calm, masculine voice speaks from behind you. Your mouth drops open, and you spin on your heel. If you hadn’t been clinging to the table cloth you’d have fallen over, but still, you drop the champagne flute, and it bursts in a spray of liquid and glass against your dress.
It also splatters on the dress shoes of one Tim Drake.
First the phone, now the delicious drink. You really wished you’d stop dropping things.
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MASTERLIST - NEXT
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familyvideostevie · 4 months
Text
a kind of hunger | chapter 2
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joel miller x fem!reader
series masterlist
an offer from your employer sets your life on track and throws it into a new kind of chaos at the same time. where does joel miller fit into it all?
length: 5.9k
Warnings: 18+ smut, fem!reader, unspecified age gap, heavy petting, joel having a moment with r's tits, hand stuff, dirty talk, painful sex for a second, riding (p in v sex), like a really small smidge of breeding kink, emotional turmoil from r cause what else is she gonna do, some plot! wow! a/n: finally! another chapter. it’s short but i think we’re getting somewhere. Let me know what you think! huge thank you to @macfrog for your eyes and for keeping my sanity in check and @bageldaddy for teaching me how to use commas, letting me borrow your bar, and telling me to just “slutty hallmark it.” this is for you guys. 
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Bill’s offer costs you one night of sleep and that’s all.
Taking over the bar goes against every rule you've had for yourself up until now, everything that’s kept you going and on your feet.
You lose when you stick around. You get hurt when you get attached. Always keep moving. 
But your night with Joel seems to have shaken something loose. You’ve got a pit in your stomach, a hunger set alight by his eyes and his hands and his attention. It’s like he reminded you how to want, how to stop letting the world turn under your feet and dig in your heels instead.
And there’s what Bill said, the thing that won't leave you alone. You think no one notices, but I notice. We all notice.
It’s easy to lie to yourself about a lot of things: that you don’t mind this life, its constant movement and instability. That it’s made you crafty. That if you picked up and left right now, you’d be fine. No one would miss you, no one would notice. The names and faces you’ve learned would fade as soon as you found new ones somewhere else. 
You’ve been a tight fist your whole life, only hanging onto what can fit into your rough and weathered palm, half-moon crescents bleeding that damn desperate hope you can never seem to scrub off. It means a whole lot of avoiding things that could matter so you can’t lose them, can’t let them slip through your fingers. A family who saw your need for space and control and turned it into isolation and disinterest, who drove you away as soon as you were able to leave. College was a bust. Relationships gone sour have taught you not to rely on anyone. Failed experiment after failed experiment, just looking for something to stick. It’s better to be alone, right?
That tight fist keeps anyone out, anyway. It’s carefully rolled bills in plastic bags in the toe of a pair of sneakers just in case. It’s talking just enough to get you a place to stay, a job, a ride, but not enough that anyone remembers your face, even if you wish they would. 
It’s not one big thing. It’s a million small ones. And nothing ever lasts. You never last; always cutting and running before it can get real, before they can see the truth of you and find it lacking.
You’ve been looking for the missing piece for years now, the thing that will make you feel like you’ve finally made it somewhere where you’re needed enough to stick around. Where you can stop quitting, where you can put down roots. Where you can be wanted.
You just aren’t sure it’s possible. You’ve done so many things, seen so much, that you feel like it’s too late to be anything other than this.
It’s easy to believe all of that until someone like Joel sees through it – until someone like Bill tells you none of it is true. 
Fuck it. 
You call Bill the next morning and tell him you'll take over Frank's. 
According to him, the turnaround will be quick. He'll have someone "official" draw up the paperwork. You tell him you won't change the name. You tell him you will make some repairs, fix the cracked vinyl booths, and give the floors a refinish, and –
"Do whatever the fuck you want," he grumbles over the phone. "It's your bar."
It sure is. 
You own something, now. You belong somewhere – even if it’s just because you have payslips to sign and counters to clean. But maybe this time, if you try hard enough, you can get it right.
You have a meeting to tell the staff that you’re taking over. There are only five of you – two college kids from a town over, the guy who works part-time at the garage by the highway, and an old butch called Pat you find vaguely frightening who’s been working here longer than you care to ask. 
It’s probably the first time all five of you have been in the same room. None of them seem disappointed in Bill’s retirement, and they’re on board with your plan for renovations. Especially after you assure them they’ll be paid even if you close for a bit to get it all done.
Joel doesn't come in. You notice, but don’t spare it too much thought. You can’t because the bar is a fucking nightmare all week.
The keg lines keep blocking, the jukebox dies a sudden staticky death, and some asshole scratches the pool table hard enough to tear up the felt. Everyone and everything is pissing you off. It’s an effort not to spend all of your breaks on that milk crate in the alley with your head in your hands. 
It feels like Frank’s is hazing you. After all you’ve done for it, you feel a little betrayed.
“Why the hell do you think I’m retiring?” Bill says when you call to bitch about it. “This shit is a fuck ton of work.” 
By Friday, you're at your wit's end. 
The rush has come and gone, and now it’s slow. Slow enough that you might be worried, but Pat has told you before that this is just how it is in small towns, sometimes. 
That, or maybe your bad mood scared everyone off. Maybe they're tired of the shitty atmosphere, of the cloudy glasses and squeaking stools, maybe they –
You pop an olive into your mouth.
“Chill the fuck out,” you mutter to yourself. No one is around to hear.
The only patrons left are some bikers at one of the back tables playing cards. Their laughter is too loud without the music going. The mats behind the bar are sticky under your boots, and your temple has started to throb. You feel like locking yourself in the office just for the silence.
The air shifts when Joel steps inside.
The hunger you feel is a familiar fire, coals that stoke themselves and never go out. Lust, infatuation as you take in his broad shoulders and grey-streaked hair. You’re strung out and a fuck might help.
But there’s also a weight in your chest at the sight of him, one you haven’t felt in a while. It sits heavy above that smoldering flame in your belly, a bruise you can’t stop yourself from pressing on.
Maybe part of you expected him to stop coming in after you fucked. Regardless of how it made you feel, you’re just some woman who serves him two fingers of liquor when he wants to run away from his life. Just someone who gave him one good night and nothing more.
But this weight – this big, thorny emotion that looks like affection and attachment and something real – you don’t know what to do with it. 
It’s never been this way with a one-night stand. Yeah, you know the weight of him above you, inside you. You know the taste of his sweat on your tongue, the feel of his head between your thighs. That kind of shit usually doesn’t change anything with you, but Joel is…different. 
Careful, that voice inside you says. 
Joel peels off his jacket and tosses it on the otherwise empty bar, pushing up his sleeves to reveal his tanned forearms. The stool creaks under him and his gaze is heated as it travels over you. He doesn’t bother to hide the fact that he’s looking. 
He shakes his head when you hold up the bottle of whiskey. 
"Water's fine," he says.
You blink. If he’s not here to drink then what is he here for?
He seems like he always does. Relaxed, like the room was made to have him in it. But you look a little closer, now that you figure you can. The deep scar on the bridge of his nose stands out and his cheeks are a little pink. The temperature must have dropped once the sun went down. His jaw isn’t tense so much as set, determined. He rubs his chin with a flat palm as you fill a glass using the soda gun.
“Whatever you want,” you say. 
He looks around the bar. You figure he's taking in the out-of-order signs on the beer pulls, the flickering light pointing to the restroom, maybe even the goddamn ruined pool table. 
You pick up a rag and start to clean to keep your hands busy. 
 “Quiet for a Friday,” he says. "Things goin’ alright?”
You bristle at the implication. It’s been a shitty week, and you don’t need anyone reminding you that you’re probably not cut out for this.
“Fucking peachy,” you snap.
Joel raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t rise to it. "Seems like things are a little tense.”
You swallow a flash of genuine annoyance. 
"All it takes is a roll in the sack and now you're a talker?"
Joel isn't phased. He takes a small sip of his drink, rolls the glass between his hands. Nice hands, you think. Hands that felt so good between your --
"Just makin’ conversation," he says lightly.
You’ve always thought you were hard to read – hell, you’ve been told that many times. One of your flaws, people always say, but it makes it easier to slide in and out of places without too much damage. And yet, Joel, a man who has been in your bed once and sits at your bar when it suits him, sees right through you.
Your shoulders slump.
“I’m just tired,” you tell him.
Joel rubs his beard with one wide palm. He moves his jaw back and forth like he's giving you the chance to shut him down, like he’s chewing on the silence.
"Heard somethin'," he says. "Wondered if it was true. Thought I'd ask." 
"Are you asking?"
He eyes you, takes another sip of his water like it's a tumbler of amber liquid instead. Like anything you pour him is something to be savored.
"Guess so." 
You set the glass down and put your hands on the wood, leaning towards him with your head cocked. 
“Are you keeping tabs on me, Joel Miller?”
“Nah,” he says, eyes flashing before they slide down to your lips. “Ran into Frank in the frozen aisle at the store.”
“And what does that have to do with me?”
The corner of his mouth tugs up. "Known him and Bill a long time." 
That explains why he looks like he belongs here. He's probably been in this room more times than you have. All of the things you don't know about Joel hang in the air between you.
"Does Bill...?" 
Does your buddy know you fucked me in the apartment I rent from him?
Joel shakes his head. "Frank told me Bill was giving the place to one of his employees. Figured it was you."
And that’s that. But it sounds like a compliment.
“Well, it’s me alright,” you sigh, slumping a bit. “And there's a lot of shit to do.”
Joel puts a hand on your forearm. It's a light touch, a quick one, but it sends sparks along your skin. A moth to a flame.
“Ain’t no small thing. Ownin’ a bar. Big deal, if you ask me.”
You roll your eyes but pride swells in your chest. He’s right. It is a big deal. 
And here you are in your bar.
With Joel, who fits into all of this somehow. You just don’t know where yet.
“Yeah, well, I didn’t ask you,” you say with a smirk.
You want to draw it out of him, make him flirt with you for the answers he seems to want. You want something to sink your teeth into after this week, something to play with.
Something to make you feel in control. And that’s what Joel gave you, last time you saw him. He pushed when you pulled, met your touches and your quips with attitude and hands of his own. You felt alive, you felt present. You felt wanted. And it was fun.
If you’re not careful, you might forget what sex was like without that – his attention, his touch. Your name in his mouth. But now that you’re giving staying here a shot, maybe it’s time to indulge. To reach out and take.
Joel snorts. He leans forward and raps his knuckles on the wood. “Should we toast to it?”
You laugh. “I don’t drink on the job.”
He raises his water glass.
“Alright,” you scoff. “Fine.” 
You pour yourself some water and clink your glasses together. Joel’s eyes never leave yours, not when he takes a long sip, not when he sets the glass down. He keeps looking at you with that heavy, unshakable gaze. 
It’s unnerving, the way he makes you feel. You’re still tired, still annoyed, but there's electricity at the base of your spine, the embers in your belly. You want to talk to him. 
You clench your hands around your glass. You want to touch him, too.
“So,” you say. He’s wearing a henley this time, the buttons at the top undone just enough to give you a glimpse of a peak of chest hair. You swallow and flick your eyes back to his. He’s smirking. 
“So,” Joel echoes. “Why’d you take it? The bar.”
You shrug. “Seemed like a good deal.”
“Bill ain’t in the habit of good deals,” he huffs. “He must like you.”
It’s an effort to squash your smile. “I don’t think Bill likes anyone much.”
“Real asshole, ain’t he?” 
That gets a laugh out of you. “Well, he’s your friend.”
“Not much choice in a small town.”
You hum.
The noisy group from the back stumble their way to the door, waving at you as they file out into the night.
“Those idiots ruined my pool table on Tuesday,” you hiss, though you smile at them.
“Gotta be pretty fuckin’ bad at pool to do that.” He looks around and realizes he’s the last one in the bar. “You closin’?”
“It’s only eleven, Joel.” 
His eyes rake up and down your body. Is he thinking about how he touched you, how you fell apart under him? Heat curls lazily in your belly. He runs his finger around the rim of his glass.
“Damn shame,” he says. 
Normally you wouldn’t shut for a few hours, but it’s pretty dead for a Friday and…
And Joel is looking at you like that and you want to touch him.
You don’t mess around with regulars.
You’re already breaking your rules by taking over Frank’s. What’s one more?
The pulse between your legs agrees with you.
“Colin,” you call over your shoulder, stepping back from Joel’s hot gaze. The barback appears immediately.
“Yeah?”
“I’m shutting early. Go home. Tonight’s tips are yours.”
He sputters. “Are you sure?” His gaze flicks to the stacks of glasses behind the bar, the tables that still need wiping down.
“I’ll take care of it. See you next week.” 
He just shrugs and turns on his heel. A minute later the back door slams and you know the kid is gone.
You lift the bridge and slide out from behind the bar. Your boots are loud on the shitty floors with no one in here and each step to the door feels longer than it should because of his damn stare. You feel Joel’s eyes on you as you lock the door and flick off the neon BAR sign that hangs outside.
When you turn around, his eyes are dark.
Joel stays on his stool, one foot on the ground so that his knees are spread wide, watching you. One hand rests on his thigh, thick fingers tapping to a tune only he hears. His other arm is on the wood of the bar, stretching his shirt across his broad chest. 
When Joel looks at you, sometimes it feels like he’s the first person to ever see you.
“Gotta settle up,” he drawls.
“What, you gonna tip me for water?”
“Not exactly,” he says, words dragging in his mouth. “Got somethin’ else in mind.”
The air in the bar sparks and crackles like one of those long Texas summer days when a thunderstorm looms like a threat. The electricity of it crackles down your spine, turns it molten, turns you dangerous. It’s never felt like this before with someone you’ve slept with. Just being close to him is enough to kick your pulse into gear. You feel hyper aware of every part of your body as he looks at you like you’re offering him something better than what you can pour.
Which, you guess, you are. 
“And what would that be?” 
He hums.
“C’mere.”
You can see his cock straining against the front of his jeans. 
“Bossy,” you say. “That for me?” You jerk your chin towards his lap and take your time walking back to him.
He smirks. “You wanna go upstairs?”
As soon as you step between his knees, the hand on his leg moves to your hip. Two fingers sneak under the waistband of your jeans to find bare skin. You brace yourself with one palm on his thigh, another on his neck, and thread his soft hair through your fingers.
“I don’t see why we have to,” you say slowly, watching him carefully. “No one’s here. And I know the owner. She won’t mind.”
The hand on your hip slides further back and his fingers press hard into the swell of your ass. 
“Oh, that right?” he chuckles. “Well, as long as we ain’t breakin’ any rules.”
You’re not sure who moves first. You’ve got a few inches on him by being on your feet so you pull him towards you just as he surges up and your mouths meet sloppily, hungrily. Joel tugs you closer and you dig your fingers into his thigh as he swallows your giddy laugh, his beard scratching your skin deliciously.
You’re going to fuck him. In your bar. 
“Somethin’ funny?” he asks, lips trailing over your jaw. He’s got both hands on you now, one on your ass and the other on your hip, holding you like he expects you to disappear.
“No, not really–” You cut yourself off with a gasp when he nips your pulse point. “Joel.”
He kisses you again, licking into your mouth. You remember the sounds he made in your apartment and tug on his hair. Joel’s moan is your reward. You press close and grind your hips against the hardness in his jeans and he growls.
“Hard as a rock the second I step in this damn place,” he says, holding you there. You pull back to see his lips spit-slick, his pupils blown. Seeing him undone like this by your touch is just as thrilling as it was last time. His teeth scrape down your neck and he unbuttons your jeans.
“Sounds like a – ah – you problem.”
Joel’s fingers drag through the curls above your cunt before he goes where you really want him. You gasp against his temple when he circles your clit.
“Seems to me I’m not the only one,” he rasps.
The fingertips on his thigh become nails digging in even harder when he slips one finger inside you.
“Gonna leave bruises, sweetheart,” Joel says. Your cunt clenches around him. “You like that? Markin’ me?”
“Maybe I do,” you groan. “You left some last time.”
The angle can’t be ideal but Joel fucks you as best as he can with one finger, then two. You drag his face back to yours and suck on his bottom lip, tugging his hair all the while. Every part of you feels like it’s on fire, like you’re burning up from the inside. 
His other hand rucks up your shirt until you tug it all the way off. He pulls down the cup of your bra with one hand and rolls your nipple between his fingers. 
You could come like this, Joel’s hands everywhere. 
Gripping him through his clothes isn’t enough. You scramble to undo his belt and get your hand in his jeans, button popped and fly down. 
He grunts your name when you spit into your palm and take him in hand, velvety soft and tip leaking. 
“Careful,” he hisses. “Don’t want to stop this before it starts.”
“I’ll be gentle,” you say. He thumbs your clit in response and you gasp.
Time blurs with his fingers inside you. Your strokes are lazy but he hisses each time you drag your thumb over his tip. Is it going to be this, you two pawing at each other against the bar until someone bursts?
“Joel,” you gasp. “Joel, I want –”
He finally returns to your clit with a strained smirk. The veins in his neck are visible, telling you it’s getting to him, too. 
“You remember what I said last time?”
Ask for what you want, you hear me? You ask and I'll do my damn best.
You could have him bend you over the bar. You imagine it, quick and dirty, the wood digging into your waist as he slams into you, flesh on flesh. It would be better than last time, you know it. But you want to see him.
You want Joel’s face in your neck, your hands in his hair as he fills you up. You want to watch him fall apart under you.
You dig your nails into him again and he hisses. You lean forward so your lips drag along the shell of his ear.
“I want to ride you, Joel,” you say. 
His eyes flash. He kisses you hard, swirls your clit one more time, and pulls his hand from your cunt. Your knees feel a little weak so you keep your hands on his shoulders. 
Joel brings his fingers to his mouth and licks them clean.
“Gotta get at least a taste,” he says. “Just as sweet as I remember.” You surge forward to kiss him. You can taste yourself on his tongue and he groans into your mouth.
“Alright, baby,” he says, breath a little ragged. He thumbs your nipple again. “Where’re you gonna ride me?”
“Booth,” you manage. “Over there.” You jerk your head back towards the cracked vinyl seats he’s never once sat in since you met him. He pats your hips and you step back. The stool scrapes loudly on the floor as he stands. 
He cups your cheek with one callused palm and just looks. His hair is a mess from your hands, lips swollen from your kisses. And yet he’s looking at you like you’re the answer to all his problems. 
“So damn pretty,” he says.
Somehow you make it to the booth, a tangle of lips and hands, shedding pieces of clothing as you go. Your bra, his shirt, his belt. Shoes toed off and left in a pile, Joel shoves the table between the vinyl benches to the other side so there’s enough room for him to sit, for him to drag down his jeans and boxers and take his cock in one hand. 
Your mouth waters at the sight of it. God, he’s thicker than you remember. One of these days you’re going to take him apart with your tongue.
You could just stand there and admire him but you’re so wet you think you’re going to drip onto the floor. His solid thighs, the dark hair gathered into curls at the base of him trailing up to his navel. If you were a painter you’d put him to a canvas.
Joel spreads his legs wide, and you run a hand down his bare chest before balancing on his shoulder as you step out of your bottoms. It’s almost funny – the two of you naked but for your socks, Joel’s pants around his ankles.
You want him too badly to spare a thought for laughter.
A condom comes from somewhere – his wallet, maybe, or his pocket, you don’t much care – and he slides it on with a hiss. 
It’s different than last time. More desperate but in a fun way – and you know this won’t be the last time. You know each other’s bodies, now, and this can be quick, can be dirty, because you’ll be doing it again.
So you don’t waste any time straddling him. Joel lines his cock up with your entrance, his other hand on your hip.
“You ready?” he asks. You lean in to kiss him and sink down at the same time in response.
You moan in tandem as he fills you, the angle different from when you were on your back, so different. The stretch is deeper, and somehow you feel fuller than last time. It’s overwhelming, it’s all-consuming, it’s a little painful.
“Fuck,” Joel groans. “So tight. I ain’t gonna last long.” 
It really is a tight fit, so tight you think maybe he was right to ask if you could take him without at least one orgasm to prepare you. The girth of him is splitting you in half, stretching you so much you whimper against his mouth.
Joel’s hands cup your face. “Y’okay?” he says, strained. “Hey, talk to me.”
Your eyes are shut tight, knees pressing hard into his solid thighs as you breathe.
“Need a sec,” you say. “It’s different like this, it’s –”
“I know, baby,” Joel murmurs. “Doin’ so good so far.” 
He shifts his hold on you just a little and you whine. The vinyl cracks underneath his shifted weight as he whispers an apology into your shoulder.
The pain of the stretch dulls to an ache and you know what’s just on the other side. You roll your hips and the head of his cock presses exactly where you want it. It sends a shock wave of pleasure through you so intense that you fall forward a little, Joel’s face pressed to your chest.
He presses a kiss to your breastbone, so light you almost miss it as you start to ride him in earnest. Your knees press into the rough vinyl and Joel’s lips find your nipple. 
“Didn’t give these ‘nough attention last time,” he says. “My mistake.”
His tongue laves at your breasts, one after the other as you swirl your hips over and over. You tug on his hair as your thighs start to burn but you keep going. 
Joel’s teeth scrape against your nipples, the skin of your chest as he nips and soothes, nips and soothes. You’re going to be covered in marks tomorrow. 
Maybe it’s the thrill of that, of just seeing him again, maybe it’s how bad you want him, who fucking knows – you’re already so close.
Everything fades away but this. Joel is everywhere, on you, around you, inside you…It’s just the two of you, limbs tangled and sweaty, panting each other’s name.
The smoldering in your belly is a fire climbing higher and higher and you’re going to explode with the heat of it.
Firm, rough-skinned hands hold you steady as you lift and sink, gasping every time he hits that spot inside you. 
“Joel, I –”
His grip turns bruising as he starts to fuck you on his own, the wet smack of his balls filling the bar.
“I know, baby,” he pants. “I know. You hear that? You hear me fuckin’ you? You’re takin’ my cock so good.”
You plant your hands on his shoulders and try to meet his thrusts.
“Swear I dreamed ‘bout this,” he growls. “How wet you were. Those fuckin’ noises you make when I –” He circles your clit with his thumb and you keen. “There we go. Just like that.”
“Joel –
“Gonna ruin this booth,” he says with a rough chuckle. His forehead is tacky when you press yours against it.
“I – fuck – need new ones anyway, don’t I?” 
Joel grins, all teeth as he pounds into you. 
“C’mon, sweetheart,” he says, breath hot on your lips. “Soak my cock. Know you can, so tight and –”
Your orgasm rips through you, a broken litany of Joel and yes and god knows what else torn from your throat as he fucks you through it. His thrusts become erratic and you try to keep your seat as he finishes with a deep groan. 
Joel presses more of those light kisses to your collarbones, the base of your throat, so like the one he left on the back of your hand that first night. You drag your fingers through his slightly sweaty hair.
“I’ll move in a second,” you say, catching your breath. 
“Take your time,” he says. “I ain’t goin’ anywhere.” 
His grip on you is practically gentle, fingers lazily stroking patterns into your skin. You drag a hand up and down his chest. 
It’s tender. It’s…something it maybe shouldn’t be. Something that doesn’t belong in whatever you’re doing. 
You get out of his lap as carefully as you can and stand in front of him, naked. Fucking with a condom is smart and all, but you wonder what it would feel like to have him dripping between your thighs.
He doesn’t hide his stare, though it’s not as charged as before. He’s looking just to look.
“Put your pants on,” you grumble at him. He laughs. 
You scoop your clothes off the floor and head for the bathroom. The tarnished mirror displays your sated smile and bright eyes. You run a hand over the bruises he left on your neck, your hips. Well-fucked is a good look on you. You look exhausted but happy.
Joel is dressed and back at the tabletop when you return. He’s got his usual bottle of whiskey on the wood, two glasses already sporting a pour each. 
“Not workin’ anymore, are you?” he asks you. 
You laugh. “No.”
The soreness starts to settle into your thighs when you take the stool next to him.
The momentary silence isn’t uncomfortable. It is comfortable, which is the strange part. Sitting here with him at your bar after he fucked you a few feet away and sipping at your drinks. 
Joel, for his part, seems unbothered. You can’t figure him out. It makes you feel a little unsteady to know that he sees right through you, but you don’t know what he’s thinking. Would he tell you if you asked?
“So,” he says. “What’re your plans for the place?”
You sigh. A piece of his hair is sticking up and you tuck your hand between your thighs so you don’t smooth it. It’s different with your clothes on.
“There’s a lot to do,” you tell him. “Jukebox is broken. Neon signs need replacing. Plumbing could do with a refresh. I want to refinish the floors, maybe tear off this ugly wallpaper –”
“Make sure you get a good gel for that,” he says. “Shit’s old and won’t come off easy.”
You lean your chin in your hand and shoot him an amused look. 
“Do a lot of wallpaper removal in your spare time?” you ask.
He fiddles with his watch, jaw working around whatever it is he wants to say. 
“I’m a contractor.” 
“Really?”
“Don’t sound so surprised,” he grumbles. “You think I sit on my ass all day?”
Honestly, you don’t know. Most of the thoughts you have about Joel aren’t to do with his job. You have no idea what he does when he isn’t here.
You shrug. Joel rolls his eyes.
“Well, I am,” he drawls. He takes a long sip of his whiskey. “And I know the folks around here who you’ll need. Materials, all that.” 
“Are you offering to help me, Joel?” You keep your voice neutral.
He looks at you head-on. It feels like he’s seeing through you again. “If you want it.”
“If we do that, it has nothing to do with…” You gesture between you. “With this.”
Joel just looks at you, letting you sort out what you want to say. 
“I mean, I don’t want charity, okay?”
He shakes his head. “Ain’t charity. I owe Bill some favors. This’ll square us up. You’ll cover all the other shit, I guess.”
“It’s not his bar, anymore,” you remind him, but it’s a weak protest. 
Joel knocks back the rest of his drink.
You’ve been working out how to finance the renovations all week. All that cash you’ve squirreled away over the years finally has a purpose, other than a cushion in case something really bad happens. It’s looking tight between paying the staff and sourcing the work. You’d only be able to close a week at a time and any delays will fuck the whole thing. 
But if Joel’s offering discounted labor, materials on the cheap? You could get it all done faster, get it done right.
“Why do you want to help me?” you ask. 
Joel huffs and if you knew him better you’d say it was in offense. 
“Let’s just say I’m invested in the state of this place,” he says. “And you really gotta replace those booths.”
Your face feels hot. “Asshole.”
“So,” he says. “You interested?”
It’s not a bad idea. Hell, it might even be a good one. Money aside, Joel, whatever his story is, is connected in this town, and if you’re staying it would do you some good to start making some connections of your own. Start settling.
The fist in your chest, your heart, your mind – it loosens just a little bit. 
“I’m interested.”
Joel knocks on the bar once, twice, and stands. He digs in his back pocket for his wallet and hands you a business card with his phone number. 
“I’ll be here Monday morning,” he says. “We can start goin’ over stuff, figure out when you wanna close. All that. Call me anytime. Sound good?”
You just nod. The fatigue is starting to hit and Joel must be able to tell because he just smiles at you.
“Goodnight, boss lady,” he says. “Put the whiskey on my tab.”
Joel grabs his jacket and unlocks the door, sliding into the cool night with a wave. 
“You don’t have a tab, asshole,” you mutter, but you’re smiling a little. 
It feels like pieces are falling into place.
You know you could get the bar fixed up on your own. But with Joel’s help, it’ll get done faster and you might even have some money left over at the end of it. 
It’s a lot all at once. But for some reason, it feels different this time. It’s not another job about to fall through, not another relationship going south because you got spooked. It’s not you getting bored and cutting your losses. 
You want this. You want it to work. Usually, you’d have left by now, before you got too attached, but it’s too late so you’re going to make it work. 
This thing with Joel, though – you’re going to have to be careful. If you’re not, it’ll run away from you and – well. You don’t want to lose control of it.
You look around the bar and sigh. Unwiped tables, a booth that no one should sit in, floors to clean. A few hours of work before bed. 
You know you’re going to spend them trying not to think about the man who just left. 
thank you for reading <3 reblog, send feedback!
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wosoamazing · 2 months
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Too Late To Be Fair
Warnings: death (caused by drunk driver), mentions of emotional abuse (R as a child), mentions of drinking and drunks, implications of self doubt and associated things, wishing someone would die. Please let me know if anything else.
Note: Grace is a fake player, due to previous ideas and maybe future ideas I had to make a player up... she does some things none of the girls would ever do....
A/N: Story inspired by Pray (Jessie Murph) & Mansion (NF) - and other things but I listened to these songs and I was like ooo good story idea. There probs will be a part 2. I hope you like it - also I know I said one of the McFoord fics would be out next but um yeah...
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“Y/N We’re sorry to inform you but your Dad was in a car accident he was hit by a drunk driver” you couldn’t help but laugh at the irony, you dad the drunk being hit by a drunk driver. Everyone looked at you in disbelief.
“Y/N that’s not very appropriate,” Grace said, before others death stared her, clearly not knowing your situation, of course you were going to blow, especially at her, the thing you had wished for, for so long, finally happened, yet just after you cut him off, so it didn’t matter, it didn’t mean you could have an easier childhood, it was just another way of the universe punishing you. Waiting until you had moved out, cut your ties and in the spotlight, to finally kill him. Almost exactly a year since you cut him off, won the trial, got the restraining order, the one which he protested, causing the gruelling 3 day trial, to decide whether it was needed or not.
“Oh, sorry we don’t all have perfect little lives with perfect Mummies and Daddies, some of us actually had a shit childhood, faced real world problems, no rich bitch problems, oh Mummy and Daddy told me to pick up some rubbish, oh my life is shit they abuse me” you were dragged out of the locker room and into an empty physio room by Leah, Beth, Katie, Caitlin, and Steph who all sent you a glare when the door had shut, “Oh like she didn’t deserve it,” they all couldn’t but help let out a smile. There was an awkwardness in the room, as the girls all looked between each other not knowing how to approach this.
“You guys can all go, I’ve got this, thank you though,” Leah spoke, breaking the silence, everyone left except Beth, but Leah didn’t mind. You and Beth had a very close relationship, you had been close friends since your grassroots team, Beth helped you through the year of your life you realised you were gay, and then when you crushed on your now girlfriend, your then national Captain. Beth felt bad the year you told her about your Dad, she knew something was off but you never told anyone, barely anyone stills knows the full story, but that day Beth and you promised that you would be there for each other forever, and that was true, she had been there during your trial and so much more, and you were there for her when Dan broke up with her, Beth was really your rock and you were hers. Beth moved to sit in the chair on the opposite side of the room, giving you both space, whilst also being there in case you needed it. 
“Are you okay?” Leah couldn't find the right words, but she knew deep down the wrong words were what you needed her to say, you weren’t going to break, and release it all otherwise.
“Of course I’m not fucking okay Leah,” you looked up at her, she hadn’t even flinch at your words, instead she pulled you in for a hug. Which caused hot angry tears to fall from your eyes “Why now, why couldn’t it have been a year ago, 3 years, hell any time after I was 12. It’s unfair, its fucking unfair,” you paused, and Leah slowly slid her back down against the wall, bringing you down with her, your legs either side of hers as you sat in her lap. Your eyes connected with her soft kind caring blue eyes, and you could see how her lips formed a soft kind reassuring smile. You broke, big fat tears streamed down your face, as you sobbed, Leah gently pulled your body forward, so you were no longer sitting up, but leaning on her, she placed your head into the crock of her neck, before moving her arm to wrap around you lower body, her other hand was placed on your back, her thumb moving up and down, as she whispered reassuring words in your ear. 
“W-why now, when I’ve already lived the hard life, when I’ve been through all that shit. When I’m already screwed up, when I already have trust issues, when I already doubt myself everyday, so much so that I do it unconsciously” you sobbed into her neck.
“I know baby, it's not fair, and it's not right. But I’m here now, and I’ve got you.”
“I-I I used to wish he would die, I used to imagine cops showing up at the door when it was later than he used to come home, them telling me and me not being upset. I used to hope he just wouldn't come back from work trips. I used to imagine people asking me why I wasn’t upset when he died. I used to think of the fact that he was an alcoholic so he wouldn't get a kidney or liver transplant, unless it was a directed donation. I had to say yes, how could I say no if I was a match, but how could I say yes. You know how fucked up you feel when you think that stuff, you know how messed up I thought I was, but that was all his doing. It's just unfair.”
___
You had calmed back down and decided to go see all the girls again, the only problem was that no one had realised what song was playing in the locker room, too deep in conversation to be aware of it.
Waking up but wishing that you don’t. It’s something that I pray you’ll never know.
A song that connected with you so deeply sent you back over the edge, and you quickly spun on your feet and speed walked away, Beth followed behind you.
“What the actual fuck were you thinking McCabe” you girlfriend yelled.
“Wha?” the room had gone quiet and attention was drawn to the music, “Oh fuck, shit, sorry, we werent listening to it, its just automatically come on. I promise, I wasn't trying to be funny, I wouldn't do anything like that to Y/N”
Leah just turned around packing your bag and hers, “Tell Jonas we’re going home.”
“Sorry” Katie yelled as Leah went down the hall.
Leah found you sitting in the middle of one of the side hallways. Beth’s arms were wrapped around you and your body was shaking.
“Come on baby, let's go home.” She said as she placed a hand on your back, Beth slowly released her arms around you, which Leah quickly replaced with hers.
_____
“What’s on your mind? I know it's something more than your Dad” your girlfriend said as she sat down on the bed next to you, legs crossed and leaning back against the headboard. You had just arrived home.
“It's stupid.” you sighed, looking away from her eyes.
“I promise you, it's not stupid, it's your feelings, and your feelings are valid” she said, voice unwavering before pulling you into her lap.
“I don't know, I just feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.” “What do you mean baby?” “I don't know, I just feel like something is going to happen, like something is going to happen and you’re going to realise that this was all a mistake and leave. You’re going to get sick of constantly being second guessed for no reason just because I’m messed up, because I don’t believe someone could actually love me this much. You’re going to get sick of me, and all my insecurities, ” she pulled your body into hers, your head finding a place in the crock of her neck, tears started to fall from your eyes, causing her neck to become wet.
“Y/N, baby, I love you so much, and I promise, there is not another shoe that will drop, we have been through so much together, we got through those 9 months together, we got through the trial together, and I promise we will get through whatever life throws at us together, forever, we will go through the highs and lows together. I love you so much, and I wouldn't want to spend my life with anyone else. I will never hurt you, I promise.” 
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chaotic-mystery · 6 months
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Pairing: dbf!Joel miller x f!reader (no outbreak)
Summary: You kissed Joel after you had that terrible fight with your dad and you have no idea what Joel’s thinking now. Did you just ruin everything or will he finally admit he likes you just as much as you do him? What about Michelle?
Content warnings: my blog is 18+ so mdni! Eventual smut, age gap (readers in her twenties and Joel is in his 40s) dads best friend, enemies to lovers, slow burn, infidelity, family issues and daddy issues, talks about emotionally absent parent and effects it has, reader not feeling good enough for someone to love them, talks of healthy father daughter relationships, as well as a brief mention of being drunk. Let me know if I’ve missed anything!
|| wc: 4.2k || notif blog @chaoticnotifs || I love u ||
Within a few short moments, Joel was pushing you off him, his breaths shallow and the look on his face was already telling you something before his words did. “Darlin’, I-” He started, and he sighs deeply, great.
“Baby, I think you’re a little drunk. We can talk about this tomorrow, okay? Cmon, let’s getcha inside and get some sleep, lord knows you need it after all that cryin’. His hand smooths down his jeans over his thigh while his other hand takes yours gently, giving it a slight shake. You were sober as one could be but there was no more fight in you to argue, especially not with him.
“Yeah, probably right. Thanks for today, Joel. I appreciate it, more than you’ll ever know.” A soft smile grew on your lips before climbing out of his truck, walking to your front door. You wanted to turn around so badly and follow him into his house to his room, climb into his bed and just be held by him. Instead, you were faced with your cold, empty bed you dreaded laying in because Joel wasn’t there. It didn’t even dawn on you about Michelle until you noticed the last clean shirt you had with the bar logo on it that was hanging in your closet. The last you knew he wasn’t really with Michelle, more so on a break after everything at White Pony.
All night you tossed and turned, constantly looking out your window to Joel’s bedroom window who had a lamp on each time you glanced over. Your dreams were flooded with him, he suddenly consumed your every thought, awake or asleep. He was haunting you, the ghost of his fingertips on your skin, the way his soft lips felt on yours before he pushed you away. To be in the truck again and do it over, to kiss him longer and touch him, feel his skin and how his strong hands felt around your waist, to sit on his lap and just have him hold you right against his chest until he was content.
“Sarah cmon, you’re gonna be late, girl!” Joel shouts from the porch and you're awake, eyes fluttering open slowly to look at the ceiling. Sarah climbed out of who you assumed was her mother’s car and shut the passenger side door, running up the sidewalk.
Dad, stop! I’m coming, don’t eat all the pancakes!” Her giggle echoes between your houses and up your window, causing you to smile subconsciously.
Joel went inside before she made it to the porch, and her laugh got quieter as she shut the front door behind her. Soon enough it was quiet once more and you were left alone with yourself. Before you left to come back to Texas, one of your good friends mentioned to you about journaling and how healing it can be for you. With every intention of making it work, you started to dig through your drawers to find the little dyed green leather journal you got from the book store. It’s been through a lot, the way the pages are wrinkled from when it fell in the bathtub one night, some of the corners burnt from sitting next to an open candle flame for too long. Everything on its pages are things from being a kid you’re trying to process, doodles, everything you wish you could say to your dad. Journaling was sometimes helpful but most of the time it left you feeling empty.
If you didn’t harbor the feelings inside and constantly think about it, what were you supposed to feel? Is it normal to feel this empty on a day to day basis and was that something you really looked forward to? You sighed and tugged on your hoodie and pants, walking out into the hall to go downstairs and start your day with a cup of coffee. Ever since Joel watched you make coffee once at work, he hasn’t let up since. Every time he sees you with a travel cup he asks if it's hot or iced, knowing what the answer will be and he’s disappointed every single time.
With your glass almost empty by now and four pages scribbled on, you finally felt comfortable to stop. It was almost like you blacked out writing, not really sure what exactly you wrote down but it brought you that same empty feeling once more so that must’ve meant you were done for the day. A knock on your door takes you from zoning out and you’re met with Joel’s face, a plate of pancakes, and a glass of orange juice.
“Before you start, the orange juice was Sarah’s idea. I know you hate eating breakfast when you first wake up so I figured you’d nibble on these until you’re hungry enough to eat them normally.” His small smile makes your heart skip a beat and you reach out to grab the plate from him, along with the orange juice and you take a small sip, tipping the glass to him with a nod.
“Give Sarah my thanks, yeah?” The awkward silence was killing you and you were hoping he’d bring up last night. He just shoves his hand in his pocket and clears his throat, looking around at the neighbors homes as Joel racks his brain on what to say.
“Joel I-” you start but he cuts you off.
“Darlin’ it’s fine, you were drunk. We’ve all been there before.”
You groaned in annoyance and walked to the kitchen island with the front door wide open, signaling him to follow.
You leaned your ass against the counter top and folded your arms across your chest, glancing out the window above the sink to the left of you. “I wasn’t drunk, okay? I was perfectly sober. I wanted to kiss you, I’ve thought about it a lot and it was something I wanted. I’m sorry if you didn’t feel the same way. I know you’re with Michelle and I know she doesn’t trust me around you and I just gave her all the proof she needs to keep thinking that.” You were rambling out of nervousness and he just stood there and listened, his hands were on his hips while he looked at the floor. The bundle of anxiety was growing in the pit of your stomach and you were worried you just fucked everything up even more by bringing up Michelle.
“I-I just…I needed to know what it’s like to kiss you, Joel. I’m sor-”
“Honey, jus’ stop,...’kay? First of all, Michelle not trusting you isn’t because of you, it’s because she caught me one too many times checkin’ on you at work and she didn’t like it. You are a smart, funny, sarcastic woman and you’re beautiful but baby, you’re so much younger than me, not to mention my best buddy's daughter. This would never work, you and I.” Joel barely whispers the last part of his sentence and his shoulders drop, eyes finally meeting yours. The same rejected feeling crept up and bit you in the ass once more, a common feeling for you from almost every person you’ve met in your life.
“Not to mention you slept with Tommy, couldn’t do that to him.”
You roll your eyes and scoff, shaking your head at Joel. “Oh suddenly you and Tommy care who you share and pass around between the two of you? That’s really rich, Joel, considering he dropped that little nugget about you two tag teaming a girl while his drunk ass had to come get yanked out of my bed?”
Joel’s jaw clenched together and his nostrils flared slightly, the anger in him rising the more you called him out.
“Be careful if you’re gonna run your mouth about shit you don’t know.” The look on his face gave you a slight jumpstart to your heart and excitement in your tummy. He’s sexy when he’s angry but telling him that right now would only make him even more upset.
“So are you saying if I didn’t sleep with Tommy, wasn’t my dad’s daughter, and about twelve years older, I’d have a shot with you?” You wiggle your eyebrows at him and walk over to him slowly with your arms behind your back, trying to look innocent.
Joel however, sees right through your bullshit and chuckles at your attempts to get more answers from him. “Did I say that?” He cocks his head to one side and watches you get close until you stop right in front of him.
“I might be reading between the lines, but oh well. Was I at least a good kisser?” You smirk at him and see the sparkle in his eye, Joel tries to fight back the corners of his lips from curling upwards.
“Why is it so easy for you to piss me off and then you wanna be sweet? You’re a damn sour patch kid.” The annoyance in his tone was only masking the laugh he was containing.
“That doesn’t tell me if I was a good kisser or not, Mr.Miller.” You grab the collar of his flannel and fix it so it laid flat and Joel’s breath hitched when you brushed against his skin.
Joel cracks his fingers in nervousness and hesitates before answering quietly, “I don’t remember, honestly. It was short.”
“Aw, is the age catching up to you, old man?” You tease, batting your eyelashes up at him.
Gently but firm enough to feel it, Joel’s hands meet your hips and squeeze firmly as he leans in, lips ghosting over yours. Now it’s your turn to have your breath hitch and the nervousness bubbled in your stomach.
His eyes close for just a moment before he grumbles,”Yeah I bet you wanna kiss me again. Does it get you all excited, baby? Kissin an older man like me when you’re not ‘sposed to?” He pulls back, standing up straight this time with the evilest grin on his face.
Joel could see you panicking to find an answer, an excuse, something. Without waiting for your answer, he turns on the heel of his boot and heads for the door, leaving you speechless and heart racing in the middle of your kitchen.
“What’s wrong sweet girl, cat got your tongue?” The door was shut before you could come up with a smart ass response to retort. Even worse than a cat having your tongue, Joel Miller had your tongue. If he wants to play this game with you, he’d soon be figuring out how much better at it you were than him. With the warm plate of pancakes calling your name from the marble counter behind you, you pulled back foil and watched the small amount of steam roll up into thin air.
Tearing into the fluffy pancakes, you rip a piece off and put it in your mouth, the butter soaked into the layers but still present. It was good at first and it had been a long time since you had a homemade breakfast. Before you can understand what’s happening, your fingers grip quickly and pull apart piece after piece and shove it in your cheeks as you close your eyes and feel the tears sting. To be cared for by a man who’s old enough to be your dad but isn’t your dad will always be hard for you. Why was it so easy for them to do kind things for you without a second thought but it was like pulling teeth for your own blood? For just a second you felt the jealousy of never having what Sarah and Joel have, that connection and inseparableness of father and daughter. The hot tears fall down your cheeks as your arms drop, no more soft pancake shoved in between your teeth as your brows furrowed in sorrow… anger, confusion…jealousy. It was almost as if a switch flipped and you were yanked out of your dark mindset over a kind gesture from your neighbor.
You grab a napkin from the holder in the middle of the counter and quickly spit out the mush, your vision so blurry and fuzzy from the tears. Your home was quiet with only the fridge buzzing softly and your runny nose sniffling subconsciously. Cold fingers wrap around the orange juice and you bring it to your slightly puffy post-cry lips, taking a small sip and letting the tangy liquid roll down your esophagus. You try to swallow your feelings and bury them deep inside once more to hide away the things you don’t dare talk about with anyone.
What little bit of jealousy still inside you causes you to push the plate away from the end of the counter, groaning in frustration at the meltdown you thought you had controlled.
~
Weeks go by and you haven’t heard much from Joel. His truck was gone when you got up early in the mornings trying to find a new job and his driveway was still empty by the time you were going to bed. Not a single phone call returned to you from him, your red landline phone he made fun of you for buying at a garage sale hardly rang unless it was someone trying to sell fake insurance. Thanksgiving came and went and it was like nothing happened between you and your dad, or at least no one brought it up when you gathered with the rest of your family at his house. They were all surprised to see you since you left years ago with your mother and never visited for the holidays but no one wanted to ruin the day of pretending you were a big happy family. The only people you called while you were away were your grandparents. They were like your best friends, always knew what was going on with you and they wanted better than what you got, they even knew their son made many mistakes when it came to the way he parented you. Even at your age now you still need them how you did as a little girl, clinging to their side when you felt overwhelmed by all the people swarming you asking millions of questions while you’re trying to get a plate of food. You sat in the corner in an uncomfortable chair while you ate your food but all you could seem to think about was Joel, where he was or who he was with, was he even celebrating today? He was probably with Michelle and her family, talking away about how great she is to her parents while the reality was that she was still upset with him over Halloween. They were just like your family, everyone pretending to be something they weren’t. Luckily it went okay without anything bad happening this time but there was still Christmas to come.
With the holiday just passing a couple days ago and still no sign of Joel, you decide to call him just to check up on him. Three rings into the call and you were praying to the universe he didn’t answer, not because you didn’t want him to be okay but you didn’t even know what to say if he did pick up. Just as the fourth ring starts, Joel’s deep voice fills your ear canals.
“H-hello?” He sounds confused at first but then it fades to irritation quickly.
“Joel..? Hey..” You stutter out as you shove the red handset into the crook of your shoulder and ear while you fiddle with the cord.
“What do ya want, kid? Somethin’ wrong?” You can hear muffled voices behind him but all you can focus on is Joel and the way his voice sounds like velvet over the phone.
“N-no, no nothing wrong I just..” your voice wavers for a moment and something inside your mind tells you to be honest with him even if it’ll blow up in your face. “...I miss you..and you left without saying a word…was it something I did-” You stop yourself from babbling on and cut the risk of looking even more dumb to him. Joel’s end was consumed by the muffled voices and laughter, a door being shut silenced the noise and it was just you and Joel.
“It’s kinda hard to talk right now, honey. I went with Michelle to her parents in Kansas for Thanksgiving. You didn’t do anything wrong. I'm just trying to get all of this sorted out, okay? You gotta remember I’ve been with her for a long time and it’s not just somethin’ I can just leave out of the blue.” Joel sighs deeply and your heart starts to get heavy inside your body, the phone cord tangled in your fingers.
“Okay, sorry for bothering you. Have fun and have a safe drive back, guess I’ll still be here waiting for you.” It wasn’t your goal to get annoyed with him but this was how you coped. You’d shut down as soon as something bad was happening and acted like it didn’t hurt. Like it didn’t make you want to curl into a ball of embarrassment when he didn’t say he missed you back. Before he could respond you hung up on him and unplugged the phone line from the handset so he couldn’t call back, not that he even would.
With the kitchen clock reading almost nine o'clock at night and your head in a mess, you figured it was more than needed for you to go to bed. Your bedroom window seemed so incomplete with the safe sight of Joel’s lamp lighting up the window it sat in. Before getting into bed you thought you’d feel better if you put on the Wizard of Oz, your favorite childhood movie. Tucking yourself right between your pile of blankets and pillows, you laid there watching the house spin and spin in the tornado but you couldn’t resist not looking over at Joel’s house every two minutes like he’d suddenly be back and throwing rocks at your window like those corny rom coms. Even imagining it seemed too crazy, you and Joel could never be like that. The ruby shoes were sparkling on your eyes as your lids got heavy and you were asleep within seconds, dreaming of Joel once again.
You wake up hours later to the DVD menu on loop and your front door being pounded on. With your heart racing you look out your window and see Joel’s truck in the driveway with the engine still running, driver's side door wide open. You wrap the throw blanket around your shoulders and practically run down the stairs to look through the peephole. A messy haired, sweaty, disheveled Joel was leaning against the door waiting on you to answer. Swinging open the front door, he yanks back the screen door that was separating you two and stepped inside, grabbing your face and walking you backwards.
“What the hell do you think you’re doin’? You unplug your phone after throwin’ a tantrum and I can’t call you back, don’t know what’s goin’ on with you?!” Joel’s voice rattled you even though it was caring, it was still coated in frustration.
“I’m sorry I went to bed, I meant to plug it back in I’m- I’m sorry..” You look at his face and it dawns on you just how freaked out he was. He drove ten hours straight just to come see if you were okay.
“What did you think I was gonna do? Hang up and just go about my time in Kansas not knowing what happened to you? Bein’ a goddamn brat making’ it hard for me to get in touch with you.” Joel’s jaw clenches as his hands tighten on your face. His eyes haven’t relaxed yet and it’s almost like he’s searching in yours to find some truth to your actions, to find some reason.
You were speechless at him. Every time he did something it surprised you even more that someone cares about you that much to go the mile for you.
“Did you really drive all night to come back and check on me?” The hint of excitement in your voice makes Joel roll his eyes and a small smirk grow on his face. His face finally softens and he pulls you against him with his hands rubbing your back.
“Of course you wanna hear me say I drove ten hours just for you, crazy brat. Don’t ever do that to me again, understood?” Joels scruff softly brushes against your ear and you finally feel safe again, even if your relationship was up in the air.
“Would you maybe wanna stay with me, just until I fall asleep?” It kind of came out of your mouth before you thought about it but there was no more hesitating.
“I can, yeah. Let me go shut off my truck and I’ll be back in a second.” He kisses your forehead softly and walks back outside to his driveway, pulling his keys out of the ignition and locking the door. His black suitcase rolls against the pavement behind him on the walk back to your house. The sun would soon be up and shining through the tree branches but you had a hard time accepting this wasn’t a dream. He leaves his suitcase by the door and sits on the couch, sighing as he gets comfortable. Joel’s eyes watch you closely as you walk back to him with a water bottle directed to him to grab.
“Just try to be quiet when you leave, okay?” You mutter as you lay your head on his lap while tugging the blanket over you as you curl into a ball like a cat. Joel chuckles and rubs his chin slightly as he adjusts and gets comfortable with the pillow behind his head. It came as no surprise to yourself that you were already preparing for the heartbreak you’d eventually have to feel when he left while you’re fast asleep no matter how much you tried to enjoy Joel being there in the moment.
“I’ll try my hardest, baby girl.” He teases, softly running his fingernails against your scalp. Joel’s breathing slows to soft snores that fill the living room, the only sound that was audible as the sun came up and soon drowned the room in warm rays.
Joel’s watch on his left hand read just a little after eleven and the house was still, your light snores getting his attention as he rubs his eyes of sleepiness. You looked so peaceful to him and he didn’t want to leave you just yet.
He grabs onto your shoulder and shakes you awake gently, brushing the hair out of your face that fell during your nap.
“I’m starving and I know you don’t have enough food here to feed the both of us. Cmon, let’s go eat…I’ll buy.” Joel was trying to bribe you and you hated that it was working. You sit up and look at him with barely opened eyes.
“Really?”
Joel stands up to stretch and his midriff is exposed by his shirt, causing your eyes to glance at the skin you hadn’t seen until now.
“My offer is good for another thirty seconds, clock is tickin’.” The playfulness in his voice makes you grin and you grab your house keys from the bowl of clutter near the front door. Your head nods towards his truck and he strolls outside, shaking his head at your outfit.
“You really gonna wear that? Don’t think the waitress would take too kindly to a shirt that says, “Cougars” with a heart…” His fingers pinch the fabric and he lets go, a small indent left on the shoulder piece.
While you both buckle in, Joel looks around for anything you could use to cover what he thought was a god awful shirt. He tosses a black hoodie at you to wear and you begrudgingly tug it on when you notice his company’s logo on the back.
“There’s nothing wrong with showing cougars love, Joel. Would you rather it say dad’s best friend?” You can see his eyebrow raise as he cocks his head slightly to glance over at you.
“Don’t push it.” He mutters and starts to head to the diner.
You both decide on a booth and look over the menu before ordering and Joel sips his coffee, taking in the strong notes of the blend to prepare clearing his throat.
“So uh- think it’s pretty obvious I can’t leave you alone no matter how hard I try. I need to get some stuff sorted out but I’m really not trying to string you along, kid.” His brown eyes flick up to meet yours and he extends out his hand to grab your arm across the worn table.
“I know I just…I hate not knowing if you’re with Michelle or not. We need to be careful around everyone, ya know- pretend that we still hate each other..” You lead on and cough slightly at the hand laying on your arm.
Joel nods understandingly, knowing exactly where you’re coming from.
“No, I’m not with-“
“Michelle, hi!” You finish his sentence as your eyes meet her piercing stare as she stands behind Joel. Her arms were crossed and nostrils flared, not understanding entirely what she walked in on.
“Michelle..”
fuck.
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bunnypeew · 2 months
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One drink too much - Lucifer x fem!reader x Alastor NSFW
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sorry I am writing this supeeeer late but I have been busy with school and also i broke up with my bf recently so its been kinda shit lol
yet another party for a new guest had begun and everyone was having fun in their own groups:
Charlie and Vaggie were the party managers so they were the most sobered up of the bunch
Angel, Husk and Cheeri were doing shots by the bar
Sir Pentious was trying to keep Nifty out of trouble
while Alastor and Lucifer were trying to keep Y/n from drinking too much and it wasn't working very well since she could do the sweetest doe eyes ever and both couldn't resist saying no to that face so she had a lot to drink already, wobbling around on the dance floor pulling both of them with her. All three of them started dancing to a swing song. Y/n was stumbling a lot on her heels so she took them off getting a reaction from both Al and Luci seeing her being a little bit shorter, was kinda cute to them.
''okay honey I think that's enough for you tonight,,
Lucifer says grabbing her by her wrist and waist and trying to pull her towards him, Alastor was making sure she didn’t trip on her feet
“he’s quite right dearest, we let you have your fun,,
with that they both tried to get her off the dance floor and into a couch or something but she kept refusing to it wasn’t until she started shouting random things that they got really concerned
“mon cheri, what are you doing,,
says Alastor, strained smile on his face now but still keeping his composure from her nonsense shouting until she said one phrase that left both men in a state of mind
“MAN I JUST WANT BOTH OF YOU TO FUCK ME,,
silence from everyone in the room. Suddenly there is a mix of gold and black in the air surrounding the three of them making them appear in y/n’s room
“what the fuck just happened,,
Lucifer whispers with Y/n waist still in one of his hands while the other is now in his hair, Alastor in the meantime picked her up and slammed her on the bed as to make her go bed
“mon ange, you know we love you but, you are very much intoxicated and we wouldn’t want to-,,
he gets interrupted by one of her hands wondering up his pants
“i’m pretty sober you know,,
she said stroking him now, making him whine out loud. Lucifer in the meantime was just watching sat down on a chair, hand still in his hair while the other one was unbuttoning his jacket
“she’s right, a little fun wouldn’t be bad,,
luci says looking up and spreading his legs, getting comfortable in the chair. Alastor’s deer ear were flat on his head, snarling a little bit at this sudden contact with Y/n hand
He didn’t argue tho, instead he slammed himself on the bed on top of her, claws digging in one of her thighs while the other was keeping himself up
“alright then as you wish, but do keep in mind i’m not gonna be gentle, love,,
and with that, he tears off her dress leaving her only in her soaked panties
with that Lucifer perked up, now unzipping his pants and coming closer to them on the bed. Alastor was playing with the brim of her panties now with his free hand making her quiver under his touch, finally, he slipped in two fingers pumping at a normal speed at first, then picking up the pace. Y/n puts a hand around the one he's using to please her to make it go in deeper and feel things better, in the meantime, Lucifer started jerking himself off, caressing her beautiful hair while she was getting pleased, moans and whines coming out her mouth
At some point, after pleasing her enough to reach her climax Alastor flips her over and puts her in doggy style giving Lucifer the chance to put himself in front of her face on his knees, his cock near her mouth pressing on her lips to enter. Alastor on the other side was already inside and thrusting at a very fast pace, claws digging into her thighs
Lucifer was finally inside too, hands in her hair pulling slightly and thrusting forward for more and like that they both went until they reached their climax, thrusting forward faster and roughly finally finishing in her, Alastor's claws drawing blood from her thighs, dripping down her leg
Alastor immediately stops what he is doing making sure he didn't badly hurt her, kissing where he drew blood, putting her panties back on and tucking him, luci and her under the covers for a cuddle sesh
I know this is short and plain but this is all I can get out at the moment!! I hope you enjoy it tho &lt;;3 @maenoakasuna thank you for the request lovely :3c
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steddieas-shegoes · 9 months
Note
Request: wrong number au, Eddie texts Gareth something personal but puts in 1 wrong number & ends up texting Steve. The two of them hit it off & start chatting & then when they meet IRL they are completely head over heels in love & its cute as fuck
MY LOVE MY LOVE MY LOVE!!! LOVE A GOOD WRONG NUMBER AU!!! I can't believe I've never written it before now. I also had to actually include Gareth because I am actually obsessed with him lately, and I just think it's really neat that we can make these characters our own. This was such a fun and cute request! I didn't do the inappropriate route because I thought this was hilarious so sorry about that. I made up for it with something else! - Mickala ❤️
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GARE BEAR! You won’t believe it but i dropped my phone in a sewer. Lost everything.
He had never been so happy about having his closest friends’ numbers memorized. His phone was somewhere under the streets of Chicago, floating through dirty water and sewage, dying a slow and painful death.
He texted everyone else one at a time, let them know he had a new number and to completely delete the old one because it would never be recovered.
They were used to things like this happening; He lost his phone annually at this point and it was cheaper just to get a new number than transfer everything to a new one.
He went to dial Wayne, the old school part of him insisting on phone calls instead of texts still, when Gareth’s name popped up with a new text.
Not sure who Gare Bear is, but sorry about your phone. That’s shitty.
Eddie let out a loud laugh.
did you mean to make a pun?
Did it make you laugh?
yes
Then yes.
Eddie sat down on a bench, entirely focused on his conversation with this stranger.
Did you find your Gare Bear yet?
Not yet but i think i’m pretty happy talking to you for now
Smooth, Eddie.
Admittedly, he was in a hell of a dry spell.
Going on almost two years, actually.
A little flirting with a stranger never hurt anybody, not when he clearly needed some practice.
Not sure if your Gare Bear would like it very much though
Wait, what?
Eddie stared at his phone, trying to comprehend what that could mean. Why would Gareth not want him talking to a stranger?
I hope you find your partner though!
Oh.
Oh!
Eddie hit the call button in the corner before he could even register what he was doing.
“Hello?”
Oh no, he sounded hot.
“Hi. So, Gareth is very much not my partner. He probably actually wishes I would really forget his number,” Eddie rushed out.
“Um. Okay?”
“He’s been my best friend for ten years and he thinks I’m a mess. Not a partner,” Eddie further clarified.
“Got it. Not a partner.”
“Yes, exactly.”
They stayed silent for a moment before Eddie coughed.
“I’m Eddie, by the way.”
“Steve. Sorry about your phone, seriously that sucks,” he sounded genuinely apologetic, like he personally threw Eddie’s phone in the sewer.
“Oh, no big deal. I lose my phone more often than I go out with someone,” Eddie said.
Why did he say that?
Steve let out a laugh and it was like music.
Eddie couldn’t help the smile taking over his face at his laugh, already knew he wasn’t gonna be able to let this guy go without learning more about him.
“So you’re, what? Celibate?” Steve asked.
“Far from it. Well, maybe not far from it. Temporarily, maybe. It’s been a while,” Eddie admitted.
“How long?” Steve asked, a loud bang coming from his end of the phone. “Sorry, I had to go outside for some privacy.”
Eddie wasn’t going to read into that. He wasn’t.
“Two years give or take. I mean I’m not counting shitty dates that ended before they got worse. So, yeah. Two years.”
“Been a year for me, but. Yeah, I get it. My last relationship didn’t end on the best terms. She decided I was too in love with her I guess,” Steve sighed, voice sounding pained.
She.
Steve was probably straight.
There was no way he’d be lucky enough for Steve to like men.
Or for Steve to like him.
“I can’t really imagine breaking up with someone because they loved me too much. I’m usually the one who falls too hard,” Eddie admitted.
“Yeah, well, same here,” Steve sounded sad, a bit withdrawn.
Eddie wanted to hear him laugh again.
“I doubt either of us have ever fallen as hard as my phone did down a drain,” Eddie said sadly.
Steve let out a loud laugh and Eddie smiled.
“This might sound crazy, but I’m kind of glad your phone decided to live in the sewers,” Steve said when he finally calmed down. “And maybe a little too happy that you typed your friend’s number wrong.”
“Oh really? Why’s that?”
Was this flirting? Was he successfully having a flirtatious conversation with a potentially very hot guy?
“So I can be bold and ask if you maybe wanted to meet up somewhere?” Steve asked hesitantly.
“So you’re in Chicago?” Eddie asked.
“Yeah. You?”
“For the last five years, yeah.”
“You busy tonight?”
Eddie’s heart stopped.
He was really going to meet up with a stranger just because he liked his laugh and hoped he was hot.
He’d done more with less.
“Yeah, actually. I’m getting dinner with this guy I accidentally texted,” Eddie smirked, looking down at his feet.
“Dinner? What a lucky guy. Where are you going?” Steve sounded amused.
“Well, it depends on what he likes. I’ve been craving some pierogies. Ever been to Staropolska?” Eddie asked.
Gareth’s family owned it, and he used to eat there two or three times a week while they were in college, usually working off his bill in the kitchen doing dishes after.
He hadn’t been in a couple months, work keeping him busy and his budget being pretty tight when he moved into a studio apartment by himself.
He had enough to treat himself tonight though.
“The one on Milwaukee? Yeah. One of my favorite places to get devolay,” Steve sounded surprised that he knew it.
“You won’t believe this, but the friend I was trying to text when I got you, his family owns that place.”
“No way! Then we have to. We owe it to the guy who has almost my exact phone number,” Steve responded.
“Meet you there at seven?” Eddie asked, suddenly more nervous.
“Seven sounds good.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
Steve giggled. Eddie fell in love.
“We should probably hang up.”
“Should we?” Eddie asked, not wanting to stop talking to him yet.
“Yes, I have to do my hair. Gotta impress the guy who drops his phone in the sewer and texts strangers about it.”
“He sounds like a loser. Don’t put too much effort in,” Eddie sighed. “But okay. See you at seven.”
“See you then.”
They both stayed on the line for a minute.
“Okay. For real. Bye,” Steve laughed.
“Bye, Stevie.”
He hung up before he could convince himself to talk to him for the rest of the afternoon.
He breathed out a loud sigh, smiling as he realized he had a date.
He dialed Gareth’s real number immediately.
“Gareth, I have a date!”
“What is this number, Eddie?”
“Oh, I dropped my phone in the sewers. Not important. I have a date!”
“Jesus Christ. Okay. Come over then.”
—-----------------------------------
Gareth had been his pre-date hype man since high school, though he wasn’t very good at it.
Mostly he calmed Eddie’s nerves and helped make sure his hair didn’t look like he just woke up, which was often its unfortunate state of being.
“So, you don’t know this guy,” Gareth said from his bed.
“No.”
“And you talked for like two seconds and decided you’re in love with him,” he continued.
“Yes.”
“And you think this is totally normal and sane?”
“I didn’t say that. But we just…I dunno. We clicked. I haven’t been that at ease with someone in a long time. It felt natural,” Eddie fell back on his bed, starfishing so his arm and leg hit Gareth’s legs.
“Dude, I’m not discouraging it. I’m happy for you. I just don’t want you to be disappointed if it isn’t as easy when you meet,” Gareth said softly.
“Yeah, thanks. I think it’ll be okay, though.”
“Alright. Tell babcia I’m coming by tomorrow for lunch.”
Eddie sat up and gave Gareth a quick hug.
“Thanks Gare Bear!”
—-------------------------------------------
He arrived 20 minutes early so he could sneak in the back to say hi to Gareth’s grandmother, who still insisted on getting her hands on the food every day for a couple of hours despite being nearly 80 years old.
“Babcia!”
“Eddie! My kochany! You forget to visit and I forget what you look like!” she rushed over, flour and oil stains all over her apron.
He should have kept some distance so his shirt didn’t get ruined, but he ignored the part of his brain telling him to look perfect for his date so he could get a hug.
“You know I have to watch my money,” he said against her shoulder.
“And you know I feed you for free if you clean up after yourself. No excuse,” she pulled away and looked him over. “You look handsome. Why?”
Eddie put his hands on his hips.
“What? Don’t I always look handsome?”
“Of course, but this is different. Your hair is smooth and you smell like the perfume store,” she smirked. “Is it a girl? Or a boy? Or a someone?”
“It’s a boy. We’ve never met in person, so I wanted to make a good first impression,” he admitted.
“Oh! How lovely! What’s his name?” She was back to kneading dough, but kept her eyes on him.
“Steve. He actually has been here before, loves the devolay?”
Babcia froze.
“Steve? Oh goodness.” She turned to the sink and washed her hands, muttering under her breath about something.
Eddie’s heart sank. Babcia didn’t seem happy about this.
“What’s wrong? You know him?”
“Oh, yes.”
“Is he not a good guy? Has he been mean to you? I’ll call and cancel right now,” he insisted, reaching for his phone in his pocket.
“No, no. Nothing like that. He is a very sweet boy. He got broken up with in this restaurant a few months back. Tore me to pieces. He just sat here for hours crying. I moved him to a corner booth for his privacy and he left me a $100 tip and ever since then when he comes in I make sure to give him as many szarlotka as he wants.” She touched Eddie’s shoulder. “You be good to him. He has a nice heart.”
Eddie’s mind raced.
Why had Steve agreed to come here for a date if this is where he’d been broken up with? Why did he even bother coming back if it held such bad memories?
What if he didn’t see this as a date?
The front door chimed and he heard the employee at the front welcome someone.
“He will be good for you, drogi.”
Eddie nodded before making his way to the front, stopping in his tracks when he saw the most beautiful man he’d ever seen standing at the podium, talking to the employee with a smile.
“That’s him,” Babcia said from behind him. “Go get him.”
She shoved him forward, nearly making him trip, which caught the attention of Steve.
He looked over with a curious smile, and then realization seemed to hit him.
“Steve?” Eddie managed to ask, loud enough to be heard over the few full tables in the restaurant.
“Eddie?” he asked back, hesitantly moving towards him.
“I, um,” Eddie started, then cleared his throat. “I usually sit by the window, if that’s okay?”
“That’s perfect,” Steve nodded.
It was cliche, like the room around them closed into just them existing together, like the stars had aligned exactly right for this moment to happen.
They sat down at the table Eddie usually sat at, staring across the table at each other in slight awe.
Eddie really hoped that Steve was having the same feelings he was.
But one thing was stopping Eddie from being completely enraptured.
“Is this a date?” he asked suddenly.
“What?” Steve seemed surprised by his question. “I mean, yeah. I’d like it to be. I thought it was.”
Eddie nodded once, but remained quiet, thinking.
“Oh God, it wasn’t, was it? You were just being nice. What is it with this restaurant? If I didn’t love the food so much or babcia, I would never step foot here again, I swear-”
Eddie put his hand on Steve’s to calm him down, frown on his face.
“Woah. What?”
“I just. I don’t have the best history with dates here and I guess I didn’t learn the first time something bad happened, and now I’m being too much too fast again in this place and-”
Eddie pulled Steve’s hand up to his face, placing a soft kiss to his knuckles.
“Stevie, calm down. This is a date. I’ll have as many dates here as you want to to get rid of whatever negative stuff you associate with this place. Babcia would hate that I ruined this place for you,” he said quietly.
Steve seemed to relax at his words.
And if you wanna tell me about what happened, you can. If it’ll help,” Eddie offered.
Before Steve could reply, Gareth’s cousin, Ben, came to take their order.
It was a quick order, both knowing exactly what they wanted, and then Steve looked back at him.
“It’s just. My last girlfriend, who I was with for almost three years, dumped me here. It was kind of out of the blue for me, and I had a really hard time that night.”
Eddie felt his heart break.
How could someone do that to Steve? He didn’t need to know him better to know that he didn’t deserve that, especially not if babcia had taken him under her wing so quickly.
“She must be awful to have let you go like that,” Eddie squeezed Steve’s hand in his, resisting the urge to go to his side of the table and hold him.
Steve shrugged and looked down at their hands.
“I mean, I should have known. She was never much for romance or spending time together that didn’t involve work or school. I was looking at engagement rings and she was looking at apartments to get away from me. I was just…really blinded by what I thought was love,” Steve smiled sadly at him.
“It wasn’t?”
“Well, it may have been a type of love. It was more comfort than anything. She was kind of all I had for the first year we were together, and I think I just ignored how unhealthy that was for both of us. And then I met Robin in college, and she was like the opposite of Nancy in every way. A few months before Nancy broke up with me, I told her that Robin’s parents kicked her out when she came out to them and that she needed a place to stay until we graduated. She agreed, then never made any attempt at getting to know her. And I didn’t read into it, Nancy isn’t like, super talkative with people she isn’t already close with, and Robin just kinda stayed to herself when Nancy was home.” Steve took a shaky breath. “But it turns out she didn’t bother getting to know her because she already knew she was gonna break up with me and leave the apartment to me and Robin, so.she just. Didn’t bother. Robin warned me, but I didn’t listen.”
Eddie wanted to cry.
Steve’s voice was full of pain, but not in a way that told him he still loved her, or still hoped they would get back together. More that she broke a part of him that he still hadn’t been able to fix no matter how hard he tried or wanted to.
“Was she jealous?” Eddie asked, trying so hard to understand what could have happened.
“I dunno. I mean, Robin’s a lesbian, and I definitely never had feelings for her anyway. Nancy was always so sure of herself, I can’t imagine she’d be jealous.”
“It sounds like she didn’t appreciate you very much.”
“What do you mean?” Steve didn’t sound mad, just curious.
“Well, she didn’t even make an effort to get to know your best friend, right? And it sounds like she was too busy focusing on her future to even think about what you looked like in it, and instead of trying to plan it with you, she made a future for her. She sounds a bit selfish,” Eddie shrugged.
Instead of being upset, Steve laughed.
God, Eddie loved that laugh.
“Sorry, it’s just that you sound exactly like Robin. You’d probably be two peas in a pod.”
“Tell me about her,” Eddie genuinely wanted to know more about the person who kept Steve going.
Their food arrived in the middle of the story of how Steve and Robin met, but it didn’t stop him from continuing.
Eddie listened with a fond smile, filling in Steve’s gaps of silence as he chewed a bite of food with questions or something related to what he’d been talking about.
It was easy.
It was fun.
Halfway through the meal, Steve’s foot rested against one of his and it felt like electricity shooting through his bones.
Eddie told him about Gareth, and his family who had pretty much adopted him when they both moved here from a small town in Indiana. He talked about his uncle who raised him for most of his life, who visited every Christmas despite being on a really tight budget.
Time passed quickly, but not at all.
They hadn’t realized how long they’d been sitting there until babcia came out without her apron to hand deliver an apple tart.
“You boys enjoy. I’ll see you both soon!” she said as she smacked a kiss on top of each of their heads.
Both of them blushed, but tried to cover it up with a bite of food.
As they finished, Steve looked outside to see how dark it was, how few people were left walking the streets.
“Guess we should head out,” he muttered, sounding like that was the last thing he wanted to do.
“Would you wanna come to my place? We don’t have to do anything except talk, I promise. I just don’t really want this to end yet,” Eddie suggested.
“Really? I haven’t bored you?” Steve asked, just a hint of self-deprecation in his tone.
Eddie shook his head.
“Not at all. I’d really like to get a chance to love you the way you deserve,” Eddie said.
Steve’s eyes widened.
Eddie should back up, should say something less intense.
But if this ruined it, then at least he said what he was thinking.
“You think you could love me?” Steve asked, barely more than a whisper.
“I think I already do a little,” Eddie admitted.
Steve blinked at him for a moment, mouth slightly agape.
“I need to kiss you,” he finally said.
“Now? Here?” Eddie smiled.
“Now. Here.”
“I won’t stop you.”
Steve stood from the table and stood in front of Eddie, placing both hands on his cheeks and leaning down.
Their lips brushed in a barely-there kiss, softer than Eddie expected.
Steve stayed there for a moment, eyes closed, and Eddie couldn’t help the words tumbling from him.
“You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”
If someone had said it to him, he would think they were just trying to get him into their bed, but that wasn’t the case here and he hoped Steve knew that.
“People used to call me a charmer, but I don’t think I’m half as good at it as you,” Steve whispered, his breath ghosting against Eddie’s lips.
“Just honest.”
“Take me home,” Steve said, opening his eyes and staring at Eddie, his eyes glowing with something close to love.
—-------------------------------------
They stayed up all night, never doing more than kissing and mapping out patterns on each others’ skin.
They talked about everything, even the painful parts of life, even the parts that they hadn’t shared with anyone else.
It didn’t make any sense that someone who had been a stranger not even 24 hours ago could already mean so much.
When the sun started to shine through the curtains of Eddie’s apartment, Steve sighed and buried his face in Eddie’s neck.
“I have to go to work,” though he burrowed his entire body further into the bed and Eddie’s side.
“You could call in sick,” Eddie suggested, pressing a kiss to the top of Steve’s head.
“Robin would kill me.”
He and Robin worked together as team teachers at an elementary school. When one of them missed, it left the other with 34 kids alone.
Plus, Steve loved his job, worked hard to be a teacher, and hated missing a day if he didn’t need to.
“Maybe you could bring Robin here after work? I can make dinner?” Eddie’s job was pretty easy, marketing for an Indie record label based out of New York remotely really kept him busy for a couple hours a day and the rest of the time was spent writing his own music.
Steve sat up and looked down at him, his hair ruffled from Eddie running his fingers through it for the last eight hours.
“You’d wanna meet Robin?”
“Yeah, if you want me to. She sounds like fun.”
Steve started crying.
“Oh shit, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make you cry. Good job, Munson, already ruined something good,” Eddie was reaching for a tissue from his bedside table.
“No, no, I’m sorry. I’m just tired and emotional. And just. It means a lot that you’d wanna meet her,” Steve said between gasps for air as he continued to cry.
“Of course I do. I could even invite Gareth over, too, if you want. He won’t believe that our date went well,” Eddie joked, brushing the tears away from Steve’s cheeks.
“I’d love to meet him,” Steve said, sniffling.
“When can you guys get here?”
“Usually we’re done by four, but sometimes we stay later to finish grading stuff. Maybe we should say six?”
“Got it. Any allergies?”
“Robin is allergic to shellfish. She says she is. I think she just doesn’t like them,” Steve rolled his eyes.
“No shellfish, got it. Any preferences, my love?”
Steve blushed at the term of endearment, looking down before he leaned in to kiss Eddie softly.
“Anything you make will be great.”
“You wanna borrow some clothes for work?” Eddie asked.
“Do you have any business casual stuff?”
Eddie gagged.
“Unfortunately, it’s required for the job sometimes. Far left of the closet should have something,” he nodded towards the small closet by the bathroom.
Eddie watched as Steve walked over and picked out his only pair of khaki pants and a navy button down. Steve looked back at him and winked before he nodded towards the bathroom.
“Could use some help working the shower if you’re willing to,” he smirked.
Eddie jumped up from the bed and ran into the bathroom, ignoring the way Steve was laughing.
“The hot water is tricky sometimes. I should probably get in there too to make sure it stays hot,” Eddie said as he stripped off his pants.
“Definitely. Wouldn’t want me to get cold,” Steve put a hand on his shoulder to slow him down. “Kiss me?”
Eddie leaned in to kiss him slowly, letting his tongue brush along his lips just to get a taste.
“Okay?” Eddie checked in.
“Yeah. You remember what you said last night? About loving me like I deserve?”
Eddie nodded.
“I want you to. And I want to love you back.”
“I think we can arrange that.”
801 notes · View notes
lunarpeonie · 10 months
Text
midnight in the ocean
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In which Geto is a sweet pea and tries to help you, but you’re just not a morning person. 
2.2k words, fluff
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Mornings were easily your least favorite part of the day. You were a night owl and as such, spent the dark hours of the night searching random questions on Google like Why are clouds white? and scrolling through Tiktok. However, recently your late night plans had been foiled by a certain long haired, gauge wearing sorcerer whose name might rhyme with meadow. Geto had been on a crusade to get you to bed earlier ever since you had slept through three alarms and six phone calls from him the morning of a semi-important (read: very important) mission a week earlier. So what if you had been a little late? A few hours late when a curse had been there for weeks really didn’t make a difference. (Only… it did. You had been assigned the mission with specific directions to attack the curse at sunrise because that had been its weakest point during the day, before it could take cover in a dark crevasse of the abandoned building it was inhabiting. Something about it being manifested by people’s fear of the dark and it being afraid of the rising sun. Instead of an easy fight like you had expected, you had been thrown through a few more walls than you would’ve liked.) 
Ever since, Geto had been trying his hardest to get you to bed early to avoid any other possible incidents. He was being ‘responsible.’ Whatever.
Attempt 1
First, he had taken your phone and hid it deep within the confines of his baggy pants after returning to the dorms from an outing with your classmates.
“Are you serious right now? Give me my phone back, Geto.” He shot you back his tight lipped smile, eyes shaped like crescent moons. 
“Ah, no can do. You need to start a habit of getting to bed earlier. What better way to do that than to rid yourself of your main distraction?” Your jaw dropped. The audacity of this man to act like you were an unruly child in need of parenting. Sure, was it a little irresponsible to keep up your night owl activities when you had to be up early in the morning some days? Yes, you could admit that. But that didn’t mean you needed someone else, someone your own age, to parent you.
“If you think that putting my phone in your pants is going to stop me from getting it, you really must not know me well enough.” You challenged, eyes narrowing so that he knew you meant business. He just continued to smile back at you in a way that was starting to feel a little condescending. 
“Try it.” 
This had ended with you crouching on top of Geto, foot to his neck, and hand fishing down his pants. (Awkward in retrospect, but you were desperate and on a mission to get your phone before your favorite Tiktoker went on live for the night. You only wished that Gojo hadn’t been walking by at the same time. He now had a plethora of pictures from what he deemed “the indecent incident” and was determined to remind you of it every chance he got.) 
Attempt 2
The next thing Geto tried was another tactic that made you feel like an unruly 5 year old. A knock on your dorm door had you pausing the DIY rug making video you had been watching and rolling your desk chair over to answer it. Standing on the other side of it was Geto wearing his signature smile once again. He was clad in his silky black pajamas and had his eye mask sitting on top of his head. 
“Can I help you with something?” You rolled your eyes, knowing that him showing up at your door at 11PM meant he was trying to prove a point. 
“Yes, you can.” He said cheerily. Much too cheerily for past 10. This was ‘me’ time that he was interrupting. “You can try these.” He held up a purple jar with Z’s plastered on the label. “Maybe then you can get to bed at a reasonable hour. You do know that we are supposed to be on the road to exorcize that cursed spirit at the elementary school by 8AM tomorrow?” You stuck out your hand to grab the jar and leaned your head closer to the label to see exactly what he meant by these. 
For a healthy sleep cycle. SLEEP! No next day grogginess! 
“Are these…” You started, “Melatonin gummies?” He happily nodded his head, his inky bangs swaying back and forth as he did so. You could feel your blood pressure rising with irritation that he had interrupted your ‘me’ time for something so stupid. You still had 20 minutes left on your rug making video and there could be dire consequences if you didn’t finish it. Didn’t he understand that? So, out of frustration, you aimed for the biggest target (his head) and threw. 
You were late again the next morning. 
Attempt 3
It was a few days later when sitting at a bench along the many walkways around the school, ready to chow down on your lunch of leftover pepperoni pizza, Geto plopped down on the bench beside and laid a white, half moon shaped contraption between you. 
“Uh, what is that thing?” You asked with a mouthful of pizza, closing the latest edition of a teen gossip magazine that you had been lazily flipping through. 
“A sound machine, it makes a variety of sounds and the reviews say that it helps put babies to sleep.” You could already feel a vein throbbing on your forehead at the thought of Geto treating you like a kid once again. He began pressing buttons on the machine to show you just how many it made. After shuffling through fan noises, whale noises, and copious static noises, you placed your hand on top of his as a signal to stop. 
Closing your eyes, the words began to roll out before you could stop them, “Look, it’s not that I’m against going to bed early and going on a normal sleep routine. I go to bed late because I have a hard time sleeping by myself. At home, I always had someone around. I shared a room with my sister, so I never had to sleep alone. I just… don’t feel safe when I sleep alone.” You sighed, feeling embarrassed to admit the real reason behind your wacky sleep schedule. 
Geto’s signature smile lit up his face. “Why didn’t you just tell me that? We could’ve had this solved so much sooner!”
“Yeah, how?” You asked, confused and eyebrow raised. 
“I’ll just sleep in your room from now on.” Time screeched to a halt. Birds stopped chirping. Wind stopped flowing. Did… you hear him correctly? 
“Do you know how seriously indecent it is for you to propose something like that?!? What kind of girl do you take me for??” You rolled up the magazine you had been flicking through and began hitting that tall pervert with it like he deserved.
“Ah no! You misunderstand. I only mean to help, nothing indecent! I’ll sleep on the floor. Just so that I’m in the room and it’ll be enough for you to comfortably fall asleep.” 
You paused in your magazine assault and contemplated this offer. You did love having the extra time to browse the internet, but you were always sluggish in the morning and didn’t recover until late afternoon. As much as you tried to hide it, it was really starting to drag you down.
Hesitantly you replied, “Okay… we’ll try it. But no funny business, I’m serious! One weird look and you’re getting kicked out.” You waved the curled magazine around in the air to emphasize your point. 
That night, right as the clock struck 9:30, you heard a steady knock, knock, knock on your door. Opening the door, a pajama-clad Geto Suguru leaned into your doorway, pillow and blanket in hand. “Are you ready for our sleepover?” 
You blinked twice and tried to remind (read: convince) yourself that this was a good idea. As long as no one (Gojo) found out. 
“Come in,” you said with an arm extended to the small space. “You can set your stuff up right here. I moved my rug to the corner so that you had some space.” You pointed to the cherry print rug wadded up in a haphazard ball. Rug making had not exactly worked out well for you, so that may as well be its home forever. You sat on the edge of your bed, nails digging into the soft down bedding, as Geto arranged his things on the floor. You were nervous. You’d never had a guy sleep over before, even if this wasn’t like that. 
Geto had placed his striped blanket directly on the floor and his pillow in the opposite direction of where yours laid on your bed. “Are you sure you’re going to be comfortable sleeping on the floor? I feel kind of bad… since you’re the one doing me a favor.” 
“I’ll be fine. As long as this helps you, I’m happy.” There was that smile again. You would never admit it out loud, but his smile felt like warm rays of sunshine and you were thawing from the cold. He truly was a kind soul. What kind of person sacrifices their own comfort just to make sure that their classmate can get a good night’s rest? A generous one. 
Biting down on your bottom lip, maybe it was your nerves talking, but you couldn’t help but offer, “Do you want to sleep on the bed? I feel really bad about you sleeping on the floor. I could make an indestructible pillow wall to separate us.” You fidgeted with a string on your plaid pajama bottoms, unable to look him in the eye while you offered and awaited his answer. 
“Sure, I’ll even help you build the wall. I need to make sure you don’t cut corners and damage the structural integrity of it.” He winked. You felt a quick flutter in your stomach, gone almost as fast as it had come. Together, you worked quickly to arrange the pillows into double layered stacks neatly down the middle of the bed, with the occasional break to hit each other with them. Designating the wall side to Geto, you watched as he climbed over the pillow wall to lay down. You gulped, feeling your pulse quicken. Are we really about to do this? 
Geto extended a long arm and patted your side of the bed. “No sense in wasting more time. If we don’t get to bed now, we’ll continue your bad habit.” 
Wrapping your blanket tightly around your shoulders, you nodded your head and flicked off the corner lamp. Moonlight continued to flood in through the windows on the other side of the room. Your feet made a light pitter patter as you took a few small steps to get to the bed, now with considerably less space due to the large man laying in it. Geto slid his finger through the black elastic holding his hair in a bun and flicked it to the floor. His hair fell down past his shoulders in dark waves like the ocean at midnight. He was beautiful. This wasn’t calming your nerves one bit. Still, gaining your courage, you gently laid next to your artfully built wall of fluff and turned your head up to the man occupying your bed. 
“Thank you for doing this. It was really kind of you.” A pink blush began to fill the apples of your cheeks and you could only hope that it was hidden by the darkness in the room. Geto didn’t say anything, instead opting to pat your head with his large hand, fingers dipping into your hair. Closing your eyes, you felt more comfort than you had ever felt, even at home. You knew, with one half of the strongest duo laying next to you, there wasn’t a safer place in the world than where you were at this moment. 
As sleep began to take its hold, you almost caught a whispered voice replying, “For you? Anything.”
Sometime during the night, the pillow wall had scattered across the bed and a strong, muscled arm made its way around your stomach. The both of you chose not to mention it in the morning. 
It had been a month since you started this charade and you had never felt better. Who knew a full night’s sleep (conveniently with your own personal very attractive furnace) could make you feel so great? With a sigh, you turned over to face the formidable pillow wall between you and Geto, only to find him peering over it already awake. You giggled, butterflies fluttering through your stomach. That had been happening more often around Geto recently. His gentle manner and the way he took care of you had caused feelings to blossom deep down in your chest. 
“You know,” you said quietly, your voice barely above a whisper, “I’ve never been a morning person, but then I started waking up to your face and… Maybe mornings aren’t that bad, after all.” 
You never had a problem getting to sleep early again. Geto made sure of that. 
fin.
Inspired by a prompt from @dumplingsjinson on Tumblr! Cross posted to ao3.
I demand more Geto fluff!!!! I can fix him, I swear! I had a blast writing this (even though it was at 1AM…). The writing bug caught me and I couldn’t stop until I was done. 
749 notes · View notes
eilishalways · 6 months
Text
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
late
summary: making billie late for the red carpet 😜
warnings: very suggestive, making out, implied sex
a/n: ITS MY BIRTHDAY GUYS!!!
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both you and billie had been busy the past week. like really busy. she had been in the studio seemingly with no breaks, and hadn’t been home. you had been shooting multiple magazine covers & doing the interviews for them, visiting friends, and surviving boring meetings with your manager. the only time you had really talked all week was over facetime, and even then they didn’t last more than half an hour because she had to get back to writing & recording. so needless to say, you were both missing eachother greatly.
so when billie got back home saturday afternoon, you were both very excited to see eachother. you greeted her in the doorway with a passionate kiss. “i missed you so much billie…” you said miserably into her shoulder. “i missed you too babe.” billie replied, a smile on her face as she looked at you. she closed the door and walked into the house you shared together, her hand in yours. “it’s nice to be back.” she sighed happily. you agreed with her, before mentioning the event she had on that night. “wait… the LACMA gala is on tonight, isn’t it?” you asked. “oh shit…” billie groaned, “i completely forgot about that. can you help me get ready for it?” “do you really have to go?” you protested, “i haven’t seen you in a week and you’re only home just now. please just stay.” as much as billie was tempted to give in, she knew she couldn’t. “i have to go to this, baby. i’m sorry. but as i said, do you wanna help me get ready for it?”
billie was focused on nothing but you as you did her makeup. she focused on how your mouth hung open slightly as you applied her mascara. “just stay still…” you said, the concentration apparent in your voice. billie laughed, “i’m perfectly still, thank you very much.” you laughed along with her as you applied the last stroke of mascara. “there we go. now - time for the blush.” you said. this continued for ten more minutes, your focus on your girlfriend’s makeup unwavering, much like her focus on you. as you did her makeup, you wished that you could be doing other things with her instead. you admired her face, and longed for her to stay.
after you had finished her makeup and her hair, you helped billie into her dress, careful to make sure the lace didn’t rip. “you look beautiful, baby,” you said to billie from behind her, “so, so beautiful.” billie blushed, knowing what you were trying to do. “thank you, y/n…” she replied. you ghosted your fingers over her collarbone. “i just wish you would stay…” you said, “i missed you.” billie tried her best to fight the urge to give in, but she couldn’t. she turned around and kissed you hungrily. you did the same immediately, happy with the result of your words and actions. you smiled slightly against her lips, and billie could feel the butterflies in her stomach. she fell onto the bed while she made out with you, and you straddled her waist. “you look so pretty, babe.” you breathed, smiling at her messy beauty. you didn’t give her a chance to reply as you kissed her again.
let’s just say, billie was pretty late for the event that night.
193 notes · View notes
heyidkyay · 3 months
Text
And I'm petrified of being alone, now |
Part Seventeen
Matty Healy x reader
Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.
What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way? 
Authors Note: Okay! Hi!:) Just have to say thank you for all the love you lot keep showing this series, it’s so mad and so very appreciated. Honestly makes me want to carry on writing. But I also wanted to add a quick warning to this update.. There is a lot going on, we finally get what we’ve been waiting for!! But there are other topics that also come into play. SO that being said please read the warnings below.
Warnings: Mentions of drug and alcohol abuse (past tense), as well as sobriety, also a previous death, bit gruesome but needed- this relates back to a conversation held between Matty and Jamie in Part Eight.
> Last update: look back here if you'd like!
Masterlist
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She never did call.
Matty waited, and then waited some more. He fidgeted the rest of the day, smoked his way through a pack of fags when they’d been down at the studio, and then nursed a single pint after having allowed the guys to bully him into one of the local pubs.
It wasn’t until much later that night that he heard anything from her at all, and it hadn’t been a call, but instead a text.
Messages now Squeaks xx I listened to it 
He’d been cooped up in his office since the second he’d gotten home, looking through a couple of older demos and other sound clips in hopes that he’d find something that would fit with the current sound of their new album. George had been on his case about it all, claiming he’d been too spaced out as of late, so Matty had huffed but ultimately followed through.
Songbooks from years before were piled up high on his desk and on the floor, pages full of chords and scribbled lyrics cluttered the rest of the space, but he continued on, using it to distract him from the torturous wait.
When his phone finally did buzz, Matty had almost decided not to answer it, figuring that it would just be a message from Jamie, or maybe his mum. He was still waiting for that ring. But fuck was he glad that he’d taken a glance. Otherwise he might’ve missed it.
Are you busy?
The next text had come through almost a minute after the first, as though she’d been debating sending it. Matty frowned down at the screen, pushing away from his desk slightly.
She’d heard it.
She’d heard the demo. 
He didn’t quite know how to feel about that, or what to take from her clipped response. It was why he had essentially asked her to call him, because at least then he would’ve been able to somewhat determine what she’d thought about it, how she might’ve felt.
His tongue slid between the row of his front teeth in thought, staring down at the messages he’d received whilst his thumbs hovered over the keyboard looking for something to say.
Can you come over?
His fucking breath got caught in his throat just reading that, his tongue suddenly too big for his mouth. Matty didn't even think before he hastily answered her, worried she might take it all back.
Give me ten minutes.
He could do ten minutes. 
Fuck it. He’d fucking speedtail it out of here and try for five if it meant that she’d just let him in again. The last week had been painful enough, no need to fucking prolong it.
So that was what he did, throwing on the first pair of trainers he’d found in the hallway and grabbing at the car keys he’d tossed down on the counter months earlier. Forgetting about the album and the work he’d planned to do, along with whatever else that had seemed so important just a second ago.
She called and he would come running.
It was pissing down by the time he made it to her place.
Headlights on and ignition still running, Matty went to make his escape from the driver's seat, practically vibrating with the anticipation of it all. But he did momentarily pause to yank the keys from beneath the wheel before eventually scrabbling his way out of the sidedoor, feet immediately dropping into the murky puddle sat beneath. 
He’d parked like a fucking dickhead, halfway onto the curb and his boot sticking out into the empty street, but he could care less about it as he jogged around the front of the car and up the first few steps to her door.
There was blood rushing in his ears, filling up his head and making him dizzy with it all. He raised a fist to knock, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. 
He’d gotten there in just under seven minutes. 
His heart was pounding like mad. 
He knocked. 
It was minutes or maybe seconds before he heard a slight scuffle on the other side. Before the hallway light turned on and peered through the painted window pane sat atop the familiar front door. 
The chain fell with a clang and Matty swallowed, watching on as the hinges creaked, revealing her face.
She stared up at him, standing in a pair of pyjamas he remembered seeing on a late night call of theirs, her hair all tied up in one of those pretty buns, soft curls escaping at the sides.
Her lips parted with her next breath, the sound of it jumped out at him and Matty couldn’t really hold back anymore. It had been six months. Six whole months. Almost to the day they’d met... Back when he’d been cocksure and arrogant. When he’d still been reeling from another stint in rehab, and from the stunt before the summer, and from Luke’s death.
Matty paused. 
He hadn’t really thought about Luke so easily. Not ever. Not since that night. Not in passing.
But she was currently staring back at him. Her eyes wide and tired. Shining in the light of the street lamps that crowded the street outside. 
Matty stepped forward, reaching for her. 
“Tell me to stop.” He muttered. 
She didn’t. 
And so his hand found the edge of her jaw, fingers nestling into a place at her hairline, skimming the tip of her ear.
“I can’t.” She answered him. Always so full of truth. 
And Matty, Matty was a selfish man. He’d been a selfish kid, too. A bratty teenager. A hellish son and an even worse boyfriend. Always so egotistical, so bold, so brazen. But even more so, selfish. 
He would take and take. And this moment was no different. He took.
Her mouth met his with an agonising fever, and there was an eager sigh that escaped in the breath shared between them that Matty couldn’t really determine if was his or hers.
She let him in so easily, let his tongue roam. She let him pull her close, let his hand find purchase on her hip and hear her moan. 
It was a whimper of a thing, a sound that was swallowed up by his mouth as he consumed her again. But it fuelled that fire within him, that heat which had been simmering so close to the surface of his skin for weeks, months now. 
“Mouse.” Matty said shakily, walking her backwards, further into the flat, where their feet shuffled over the hardwood floors. The door swung shut behind them and rattled in the silence before he was spinning and pressing her shoulders up against its cold wood. 
“Matty.” She breathed back to him, fingers catching on his neck, then his jaw, winding their way up into his hair. Tugging. 
A grunt escaped him and he pressed harder with it, teeth catching on her teeth, hands moulding into her skin. 
She tasted of something sweet, it coated the length of her tongue and melded well with the cigarette he’d lit on his way over. He wanted to taste more of it, found his nose pressing against the skin of her cheek in an attempt to do so. 
It was a second later that he felt himself rut up against her, accidentally mind, but the zip of his jeans tugged at the band of her bottoms and the movement made him realise he was hard. Had been half-way there from the moment she had texted him, but now, in her hallway, with her grinding up against him, and with those pretty little sounds she let slip, it was almost painful.
“Squeaks.” He managed to force out and she swallowed her own name right up, one arm wrapping around the length of his shoulders whilst the other tugged at the nape of his neck. 
Matty followed her demands effortlessly, a hand slipping under the hem of her shirt to feel at the warm skin hidden beneath, a calloused thumb brushing against the jut of her hip.
He explored, felt the edges of rigid flesh she kept hidden and out of sight, the freckles that lingered and dotted her torso, then wedged his knee between her legs. Hands grabbing at the backs of her thighs. 
One of her knees rode up higher on his side as he shifted even closer, letting her use him like a makeshift ladder to lift herself further up in the little space which stood between him and the door. 
He rutted again and the joint of her knee tightened by his hip, the heel of her foot digging into the back of his leg, forcing him even nearer. He grabbed at the swell of her arse, noting the way she arched into him at the touch. How her stomach tensed. 
It had just been pissing it down outside, he recalled belatedly, but her warmth in that moment seemed to dry up the remaining raindrops caught in his hair and along the shoulders of his coat. His fingertips pressed harder into her thighs at the thought, feeling the bottom of her shirt ride up higher between them upon catching on the zip of his jacket. 
She nipped at his lip, then his jaw, hands all but clawing at his neck and his back.
“Squeaks.” He tried again, brain hazy with want but needing to do this right. He had to do this right. “Squeaks.” Again he said, a plea within a shared breath between them, “Baby, please.”
She retreated all too quickly, letting him go with a sharp inhale. Lids heavy with avidity as she blinked back at him. 
Matty realised then that he’d had her pinned to the door, crowded against the wood and practically having lifted her up off of her feet. He swallowed thickly at the sight and willed his dick to calm the fuck down. But it had been way too fucking long. 
He was unhurried in the way he shifted beneath her before carefully letting her go, unwinding the leg he held at his hip before she slid slowly down his front. Feet hitting the cold wood floors with a soft thud.
He blinked and gone was that selfishness they had just shared, that immediate heat, and suddenly she was all wary, shy almost. Matty reached up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, before he steeled himself and finally took a step back.
“You came.” She murmured after a breath, and had his mind been in better shape he’d have been quicker with his quip.
But yet, he was left drifting in between the heady thrill and the uneventful come down they’d shared. 
He blinked slowly at her. Could see that the hallway light was the only one on, but somewhere, further down the hall, a soft glow from one of her many lamps crept its way past a door. 
“You said you’d call.” He found himself saying in reply, though it wasn’t the reprimand he’d thought it was. 
Her smile was soft then. Fond. 
His breath caught at the sight of her, still laboured from the minute before.
“After.” Squeaks whispered in recall. And Matty heard himself repeat it, “After, you said.”
She took a small step closer to him, the padding of her feet echoed in the narrow walkway. Matty’s hands twitched at his sides.
He saw her throat bob. 
“Tea?” She questioned, and Matty was both thankful and resentful for the quiet offer. 
He nodded, blinking owlishly at her. 
They stood there, not moving, for a long moment. The sound of a car passed, then the scuffle of a person or two outside, as well as the far off yap of a neighbouring dog. And still they just stood there, staring.
She took another step nearer and Matty attempted not to react to the way her fingers caught on the front of his coat, memorising the careful way she started to peel it off of him, turning so that she could claim it and then hang it off some place to the side. He looked at her the whole while, scared to take his eyes off her, in truth.
He licked at his lower lip when he caught her staring too and captured her hand in his when she went to step around him. 
“Tea.” He reminded himself and she smiled, eyes flickering across the length of his face. As though she was seeing him for the first time.
“Tea.”
Her kitchen always felt so homely. 
She had spices fixed to a rack on the wall, wound in growing ivy attached to the potted plant that sat on the windowsill beside it. Her fridge was dotted in magnets and polaroids, and a drawing of Teddy’s hung front and centre. The table was always so neat, though still cluttered with the odd crayon and lego piece, a bowl of fruit was perched in the very middle. She had one of those kettle cosy’s too, a knitted one that reminded Matty of days spent at his nana’s house when he was just a boy. 
His favourite part of all of it though, had to be her. 
He stood in the doorway and just watched as she puttered about the space, flashbacks of previous visits coming back to him. She had this easy grace about her, an elegance he always seen but could never quite make out. She was a piece to many puzzles in the way she typically held herself, so ready to fight and so willing to wilt, but in that moment she just was.
And Matty could hardly tear his eyes away from her, from the length of her back to the curve of her waist. The taste, the memory of her still coating his tongue.
He’d kicked off his shoes before he could trail a messy track throughout her home, so his footsteps were quiet when he finally crossed the kitchen tiles. He paused just behind her, his hands falling to her hips whilst his chin dropped to rest on her shoulder.
She allowed it. Picking up the kettle to pour over two mismatched mugs, he simply watched her work.
It was a difficult task not allowing his hands to wander, or to keep his mouth from pressing against the pulse in her neck, but he withheld, content to just hold her. Humming when she picked up the milk and thinking over the last day they’d spent together. That night at his.
They moved over to the table not long after, her kitchen blinds were still open so the moon gifted them all the light they needed. Matty kept close, knocking his knees against hers at the very corner of the table, unwilling to go without.
She was quiet still whilst she danced a finger around the rim of her steaming brew, Matty was mesmerised by the delicate motion.
A hum of hers broke the silence they had since settled in, the softness of it causing him to blink and look up, immediately recognising the faint tune of the demo he’d sent her.
He smiled, his eyes caught on to the one she wore too. Practically conspiratorial.
His legs reached outwards to capture one of her ankles between his feet, her gaze flickered back and forth between both his eyes. He wondered what she saw in them, what she made of him.
“I’m guessing you liked it then.” Matty spoke, voice ever so low, still scared to break their languid solitude.
Mouse dipped her chin in a nod, peering up at him through dark lashes that made him want to catch her by the neck and pull her in again. He knew what she tasted like now, he felt as though it would forever haunt him.
“Thank you,” She whispered after, fingers cupped around the bottom of her mug. His brow furrowed.
“For what?”
She smiled again, blinking at him sweetly, “For my gifts, for always being so lovely, for sending me that song.”
Matty snorted, knowing that the last thing he could possibly be was lovely.
Fingertips touched his chin then and she guided his face back up to meet hers, he hadn’t realised he’d even looked away. But it was then that he was reminded of that night in his own kitchen, crowded between her legs and the counter, her kind eyes. You’re enough.
“Was it for me?” She questioned, watching him closely again. Something she tended to always do. “‘Cause that kiss, it sort of made it feel like it was for me.”
Matty grinned, eyes squinting with the strength of it. 
It was so easy- too easy, even- for her to make him smile like that, and he couldn’t even begin to decide whether he loved or hated the fact that she had the ability. 
“Yeah, Squeaks. It was for you.”
Her cheeks dimpled in an attempt to dim the smile she then wore, elbows pressing against the table’s edge, her foot resting on top of his own. “Good.” She murmured, leaning in closer now.
“Good?” He chuckled, following the motion. Eyes caught on the curve of her mouth.
“Uhuh,” She breathed into the small space between them, nose brushing against the side of Matty’s own. “Really good.”
He laughed again, low and breathy this time around, before he finally closed the distance and kissed her for a second time.
She laughed too, smiling against his lips.
For an insomniac, the dark was a place full of many contradictions.
Matty had spent countless hours staring up at all types of ceilings, in all sorts of places, and in all kinds of countries. But hers, he reckoned, was possibly his favourite. As most things had come to be in the short time he’d spent with Mouse.
Because even as she slept on beside him, bundled in the duvet and a blanket that smelt of her, he didn’t stress over the fact that he was still wide awake. 
His mind was too preoccupied to stress. Just thinking back to the expression she’d worn when she’d first opened the front door. To the breathy gasps that had escaped her in the hallway. The way she’d gently carded her fingers through his hair after she’d lured him into bed. Promising to talk more tomorrow.
He thought of Luke then, as well. As he often did whenever the darkness plagued him.
The fucker would be laughing if he could just see him now, obsessing and all soppy over some bird. Smiling away to himself in the dark.
But Matty knew that he’d be happy too. Glad that he was finally getting back on the right track. Actually trying this time around. Because Luke had known the hardships of addiction just as well as Matty had- it was what had killed him in the end, wasn't it.
He could still picture his face, both before and after the fall. One second they’d all been grinning on that roof, high as kites and drunk out of their minds, having the time of their lives, and then his had hit the concrete.
Matty’s stomach rolled at the thought.
At the eerie silence that had followed.
He’d been struggling that night, trying to get clean, to stay clean. And they’d only gone to the party, Luke and Danny, to appease him. Luke, having tagged along wanting to look out for him, to make sure that he didn’t get too caught up in anything he couldn’t get himself out of.
Luke had been sober three months at that point. Clean of the drugs and the drink. All of it. He’d drank that night though, the party had been at one of his dodgier mates places and he wouldn’t have been able to have stayed in the clear.
Matty remembered egging him on, telling him to live a little. To have a beer. A shot. And then another. And another. Someone else had offered him that line though.
He’d been hammered by the time some idiot had come up with that dare and they’d all thought it had been a sick idea to try and walk the length of the roof. Like they were at Zippo’s sodding circus.
Luke had been doing so good. Matty had known it too. What with his first EP coming out that September, something which Jamie had made happen, and his new flat that he’d not long moved into. Away from the familiarity of street corners he knew far too well and faces of dealers that he’d seen time and time again before.
He’d been good. Been going steady.
Then he was just dead.
Matty didn’t close his eyes then, even as they began to water. Didn’t want to see him like that. Knew that he would if only he shut his eyes. Because he couldn't stand to see the reminder, the life that had left him too quickly.
A slight sniff broke him from his thoughts then and he stilled as Mouse moved and turned in her sleep.
He let himself breathe a little easier once she’d settled again, tucking her face into the crook of his shoulder and nestling further into his side. He wrapped an arm around her, needing her close, and then finally allowed his eyes to fall shut, burying his face in the top of her hair.
He wondered if she’d let him stay from now on and pressed a long kiss to her forehead.
He hoped that she would, listening to the quiet that hummed throughout the rest of her flat as his mind began to let go of what consciousness it had once clung on to.
‘Tomorrow’ was his final thought before he eventually drifted off. It had been a long time since he’d thought that he’d ever make it to a tomorrow.
It was a grunt I woke up to. The heavy and unfavoured kind, the type that was only ever forced out of you when you received a hefty blow to the stomach.
I felt my face wrinkle as I pressed in closer to the warmth beside me, unhappy to have been woken. But then I heard a whisper, followed by a giggle, which had me blinking blearily and peering up at the toddler now towering over me.
“Wake now?”
“Teddy.” I heard someone else laugh right above my head, and I was quick in the way I looked up, recognising that the warmth I’d been clinging to had been Matty all along. “You’re an actual monster, you know that?”
Teddy squealed happily when Matty tickled his sides, but seemed content with his place on the man’s stomach and the fact that Matty was here at all. 
I wanted to groan at the very idea, I hadn't much thought this through. Not when I’d heard the song, thinking back to the night I’d spent at his, the fight we’d had, the way he’d held Teddy and promised him that things would soon be alright.
It hadn’t felt real. It still didn’t.
“Wake?” Teddy said to me again and I had to give a soft laugh when I felt his finger prod at my cheek, which was probably marked with the line of Matty’s t-shirt now. “Yeah?”
I chuckled again, peering up at him. “Yeah, I’m awake.” I replied, smiling before I rubbed at my eyes.
Matty’s arm seemed to be tucked up under me because it twitched a tad when I moved. I grimaced at the loss of feeling he must have experienced and murmured a quiet “Sorry,” shuffling over slightly so that I could free the limb. But he merely laughed to himself before his hand came up to rub at my arm, keeping me close. 
“It’s fine.” Matty replied, his voice tinged with sleep and grainy from lack of use, but then he winced and flexed his fingers, “Oh.”
I snorted softly and glanced up at him, “Pins and needles?”
His nose wrinkled further, as did his lips when he tilted his head back and tried to shake loose the feeling from his wrist. I let him have his arm back, turning over onto my stomach to simply watch him, drinking in the sight of him whilst I still could.
“Yeah.” He hissed out and Teddy, who was watching too, started to shake his arm alongside Matty.
Matty only noticed the mimicking movement when he felt the toddler shift on his torso and opened his eyes up only to laugh at the way that Teddy was now copying him.
“Oi,” He admonished, using his other hand to playfully pinch at the boy’s side, “What you think you’re doin’?”
Teddy giggled, hair a mess from having just woken but grinning all the while. “Dancin’! Like you!”
I shook my head and bit back my sudden amusement before dropping it down into my hands when I couldn’t quite manage to hide my growing smile.
“Oh, we’re dancing are we?” I heard Matty say, and could feel the grin he probably wore. Then Teddy was laughing again and squirming beside me once more, sounding so happy, before the bed tilted more so to one side and a soft thud was heard. “Oi, where you off to!” Matty asked him whilst Teddy’s giggles still echoed around the space.
“Tele!” Was the only response he got and I listened to the way Teddy’s feet hurried out of the room, having escaped Matty’s merciless tickles.
There was a quiet for a moment before I felt a hand come to cradle my head and fingers card their way through my hair.
I leaned into the touch, savouring it. I didn’t think anyone had ever touched me with such a softness before, like I was something to be treasured, to be held and kept close.
It was a long while before I finally raised my head again, blinking at the sweet sight I was met with. I smiled at the mess his curls were in and the way his eyes squinted in the dim light of the room.
“Hi.” I whispered and his fingers stilled in my hair when he looked back at me. 
Matty didn’t say a thing though, merely shuffled further down the bed, the duvet being kicked somewhere to the bottom before he finally settled in beside me, both our heads now resting on a single pillow.
His fingertips skirted along the edge of my jaw and trailed across the bottom of my lip before his thumb reached out to catch it too, pinching the flesh ever so slightly.
“You snore.” Matty said to me then and my mouth dropped open slightly in offence.
“I do not.”
He snorted to himself, grin widening, “You do.”
I shoved him but his hands were quick to grab at my arms, wrapping them up and moving to press them against his chest. “It’s cool though, they’re cute snores.”
“How the fuck can they be cute, Matty?”
He rolled his eyes at the ask, still grinning away. “Like, just soft and stuff. Don’t stress, I’ve roomed with George and he’s got the lungs of a whale or summat. I could probably sleep next to a fog horn and feel at home.”
A bright laugh escaped me at that, before I was shaking my head gently and looking back at his sleepy smile. “That makes me feel so much better.”
Matty smacked his lips around another grin, shrugging the shoulder that wasn’t pressed to the mattress. He reached out then, brushing a loose strand from out of my face and let his thumb linger on a freckle.
“Your breath stinks as well.”
I bit into my bottom lip at that, narrowing my eyes at him. “Well yours is no better! And besides, you didn’t seem to mind it much last night.”
I went to turn over then but he was hasty in his movements to grab at me, tugging me back towards him, closer this time. I laughed joyfully, “Hey!”
“Hi.” Matty grinned smugly once we'd settled, his hand falling to the small of my back.
I was gripping one of his shoulders now whilst my other arm laid in the little space between us. “I said that already.” I told him, feeling each soft exhale that escaped him. 
He hummed, thumb rubbing circles into my skin. “I missed you, you know.”
My brow furrowed, “You slept right beside me, you muppet.”
He pinched my hip in retaliation and so I chuckled. “You know what I meant.”
I did know.
“Missed you, too.” I murmured, letting my fingertips trail up over the side of his neck, liking the feel of his barely there stubble. “But-”
He stopped me then, nudging my cheek with the tip of his nose, “I know. Later, yeah?”
My eyes fell closed and I hummed in agreement, later was fine. We could talk later.
His hand pressed against the curve of my back, forcing me even closer, and so my fingers worked themselves into his hair. I exhaled softly and tilted my head forward just a touch. He closed the distance between us in a single heartbeat.
Kissing Matty was different, everything about it just felt right in a way that no other kisses ever quite had. Things appeared to click. Fall into place around me. 
But don't get me wrong, it was painful too, because there was that ache in my chest again, the hole that hollowed out my unforgiving heart. I wanted him but at the same time, I was too terrified to reach out and touch.
Our lips brushed, once, twice, then a third time, hesitant and careful, before something shifted and I was taken back to the previous night. To the way his fingers had dug deep into my thighs, to the front door pressing against my spine, to the way he’d held me so weightlessly.
Talking could wait til later, I reminded myself.
Now, all I wanted was for Matty to consume me and I immediately gasped at the cold hand that dragged its way up my side to tease me, thumb brushing against the nipple that hardened beneath it. 
I wouldn’t let him have all the fun though, so without a second thought I rolled him over and settled on his hips. He was surprised by the change but adapted seamlessly, rutting up off the mattress to meet me, one hand still toying with me, taunting, whilst the other cupped the back of my head.
It was back and forth for a short while, mouth chasing mouth, chests heaving with the force of it.
But then, a bang hollowed out the flat.
I jumped at the sudden noise and shot my head over towards the door, listening in closer.
“Okay?” I called out, noting the breathless quality my voice now had. I waited and didn’t move even when Matty’s hands came to just sit on my waist. 
“‘Kay!” I heard Teddy shout back and I released a semi-amused huff before turning back to face the man beneath me, “Sorry.”
And I was. I really was, especially when I forced myself to drop back down onto the bed sheets next to him.
Matty simply chuckled and I glanced over at him, smiling slightly when he reached out to swipe a gentle thumb over the scar on my jaw. “You’re good." I wondered if he was just saying that, but then, "What do you think he’s actually done though? Sounded like the bike to me.”
I sighed at the very thought. The bike had been one of my mum’s many Christmas gifts to Teddy, one which I hardly had any room for in the flat. I silently hoped that it wasn't the bike, but was caught on the way Matty had so easily adapted, moving on without complaint.
Was that normal?
Matty’s hand coaxed me back into looking at him again and I softened when I saw the smile he wore. “Later,” He reminded me, knocking a knuckle against my chin before he withdrew completely, sitting up on the edge of the bed. “How about a fry up then? There's that bakery by the studio or the cafe up near mine, choice is yours but it’s on me.”
“Matty.” I huffed, not a whine but near enough, extending an arm out in hopes that it would call him back to bed.
He smirked, glancing at me from over his shoulder once he'd stood. He dragged a hand through his hair. “Come on, got a growing boy to feed- Teddy too, I 'spose.”
I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help my grin. “You’re an idiot.”
“So you’ve said.” He quipped and I could hear how his laughter filled the flat even as he headed for the bathroom, “Teds get ready, mate! We're getting bacon!”
I fell back onto the mattress with a smile, staring up at the ceiling above me with a little bit of hope.
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lakesbian · 7 months
Text
was doing a bit of Thinkin about bakuda due to my worm reread liveblog. she is very much a stereotypical fiery asian woman with blue eyes--shitty mundanely racist caricature alongside savage-yet-honorable lung--but it feels like there's just enough meat there that it's easy to imagine what bakuda could be if worm was really really good instead of just really good. which is why i was sitting in the shower for 10 minutes rotating her in my mind.
this little background detail:
Armsmaster nodded, “Not surprising. She’s new. What we know about her is limited. She made her first appearance and demonstration of her powers by way of a drawn out terrorism campaign against Cornell University. Lung apparently recruited her and brought her to Brockton Bay after her plans were foiled by the New York Protectorate. This is… something of a concern.”
combined with what her powers imply about her could have some genuinely interesting implications. i'm getting into "imagine if this part of worm was better" mode here & not "analyzing what's actually explicitly in the text" mode because what's in the text is very shallow but you can dig something out of that.
she has a tinker power, and tinker powers are powers that result from traumatic rock-bottom events the person with the power saw coming from a mile away--the type of thing you desperately try to build yourself an out for, but find yourself inevitably, horrendously railroaded into anyway, to the point where it would take a miracle to escape from. and that's what the resultant power is--the type of miracle you were hoping for, coming far too late to solve your problem, and fantastically extreme in its ability to solve the sort of problem you were dealing with without actually solving any of your underlying behaviors which led you to that problem in the first place.
and what, precisely, is her tinker power? Exploding Shit Real Good. she very much comes off as the literal version of finding yourself in the midst of a shitty institution, one stacked against you, one expecting you to break yourself to succeed in it, and thinking "damn i kinda wish this entire building would explode rn." it's very easy to imagine her being the type of person some would call passionate and some would say needs to calm the fuck down, very intelligent but swamped by university's increasingly difficult barriers to success and fiscal safety, perhaps expected by society as a whole to serve as the model asian woman in a deeply racist environment--smart, hardworking, successful, and still subservient. you know, all the type of shit that would have someone going Damn I Wish This Building Would Explode And We All Die in their head every time they attend college. i've seen it put forward before that she triggered after just. abruptly failing/being locked out of something academic despite all her effort, and that's what i can envision for her: struggling to keep her head above water, knowing that she's failing to meet expectations, knowing that she's eventually not going to be able to scrape by, socially or academically. her head goes under, so to speak, everything she's been working towards is fucked despite all the effort she put in, and--having always been the type of person to explode when something that unfair or awful feeling happens--she triggers, and literally explodes. proving to the university that she's talented, she's good at something, she's got something to be proud about no matter what anyone says--and if the system won't let her have anything after all the time she spent breaking herself to fit into it, then fuck the system, she hopes it explodes.
so. thats my 2 cents on bakuda but if she was more interesting. hopefully that makes sense 👍
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ladyelissarose · 7 months
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Pls pls pls it u havnt done this already (if u have LMK) but ghost comforting civilian!reader who is really sick but they are in denial and want to go to work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hello babes!! No I haven’t done such yet so here you go!!!
Thank you sm for the ask too!! Makes me happy🤗 Let me know what you think…
————————— ☠️
“Darliiiing… please stay it’s.. it’s too early-“
Simon Riley’s words slurred a bit as he whined into his pillow, growing upset at the feeling of his hand on the side of your bed, feeling the fading warmth from when you were there minutes ago snuggled up by his side.
“Simon I have a presentation to give at work today for the new employees and I’m already running late because I couldn’t stop trembling in the shower and feeling dizzy- woahhh….”
Simon immediately lifted his head from his squished and hugged pillow (something he wished was you instead under him as he squeezed you impossibly tight and refused to let you go) and he looked at you with wide eyes as he caught you holding onto the wall maintaining your balance, with a hand holding your head as your doe eyes were screwed shut, as if you were in pain. Before you could move you felt a pair of warm steady hands clutch onto your chilling waist and give a light squeeze with soft words,
“Love you ok?”
To his sweet words you desperately wanted to say, ‘No love I feel awful please carry me to bed and hold me until it stops.’
But you had a mean boss that wouldn’t take sick days kindly and pile excruciating triple work to make up for it, something you passionately hated because the hours were sickening and the work was close to slavery.
And plus, Simon had just come back from a long mission and all you wanted to do was take care of him, love on him, cook and do all the things for your hard working man, so.. you reluctantly stood straight and mustered your best smile. “Oh love I’m ok, just got a little dizzy, I think I- oh!”
Soon that warm hand found your forehead followed by Simon gasping lowly,
“Darling you’re burning up! No no, we need to- love!!”
You snatched yourself away from him as you stood up straight again and put your foot down with a supposed authority,
“I’m fine Simon! I promise! I took a hot shower and and- we’ll you know I got to go. Get back in bed and rest, you have a lot of hours to make up for sleep because- we’ll you know-“ Simon huffed out and placed a hand on his hip where his sweats hugged him nicely, and the other pinched his crooked nose while he breathed heavily through it.
Why in the world did he get stuck with such a hard working woman who was just as stubborn as he was? He didn’t know, but he loved you regardless and would do anything in his power to break you, to protect you before something else did and hurt you.
Simon could see it in you, he’s seen it in himself; the tired dark circled eyes, slumped shoulders probably stinging in pain from trying to remain straight, the slight quiver to the lips because your holding all the unsaid words in, and the fiddling fingers attached to shaking arms, aching to be held in a reassuring and loving hold.
“- its for the best for you to rest Si, come on don’t worry about me-“
Simon raised a hand up to signal you to stop rambling as he lastly said,
“Love, don’t fight it- get in my hoodie and in bed now.”
Silence filled the room before a shaky breath was released from your lips followed by a hesitant yet firm,
“No. I need to go to work Simon. I’ll see you later.”
Before Simon could say another word you had already spun on your heel and began to walk towards the door, leaving him a tad upset that you were refusing to take care of yourself. And he didn’t want to push you harshly to the point you cried- caused he hated to see you cry, but he needed to find another way before you left and faced the hard day feeling the way you were.
“Bye Simon- Oh- *bang* OW!!!”
That sounded like you had just fallen- maybe because you had gotten dizzy again but it was worse.
“LOVE?!!”
Simon called out panically as he raced out of his room, to see you at the front door on your knees with your hands flat on the ground, your trembling becoming more visible since you didn’t get up. In an instant Simon was on the ground with you trying to get you to talk since you also refused to look up from the ground.
“Love? Sweetheart are you ok? You probably hurt your knees- look at me.”
He gently grabbed your chin but you held firm, making him sigh when he also felt you trying but failing to stand up. Simon knew you were a tough one but jeez he just wished you’d take a moment and stop- “Love c’mon that’s it-“
“*sniff*.. m’sorry Si, I just don’t feel good.”
Finally, you broke, you soft sniffles breaking Simon’s heart in the process, he hated to see you in pain too.
“Tha’s my good girl.” Simon mumbled such under his breath as his heart dropped with sympathy while he watched your face finally lift up to his. Eyes now puffy and watery as your bottom lip jutted out,
“I jus’ wanted to *sniff*- m’sorry-“
Simon reached down to kiss your now red nose before cooing,
“No no, no apologies. It’s ok, c’mon sweet girl, let me take care of you.”
Under Ghost was the most gentle man named Simon Riley, the man that could be a killing machine on orders but in his freedom he was an angel at heart. Under his spell of love and true devotion to you you crumbled in his arms as he lifted you carefully bridal style.
“i’s alright now- I’ll take care of everything-“
“But my boss-“
“Can kiss my ass if he wants to drag you out of my arms, and then meet my fists for doing such eh?”
A little giggle mixed with a dry cough came out of you but Simon only smiled as he squeezed you tighter.
Soon you were all cocooned in your shared bed after Simon helped you get into his comfortable hoodie and helped you take some medicine- (well he practically had to hold you down between his legs so you could take it) then now you watched him with bright eyes as he walked in slowly with some warm soup.
“Jus’ for you love… oh and you won’t be hearing from your boss for a while-“
Knowing what he was capable of you right away asked with a slight sternness.
“What did you do Simon Riley?”
Raising a brow at your tone Simon chuckled,
“Thought you’d tune that attitude down a notch but to answer you- let’s just say he’s still in tact but well aware of another shape he could have if he didn’t listen.”
“Si-“
Shaking his head at you Simon placed the warm soup on his lap as he settled by your side with a spoonful already in hand,
“Simon says to be sweet and to eat your soup- now open up my love.”
He attentively looked into your eyes which made you blush and smile sheepishly as you listened,
“Thank you Simon.”
Placing the spoon between your lips gently Simon smiled back as he watched you sigh happily at its taste. Then he bopped your nose with his pinky as he replied,
“You’re welcome love.”
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