#and i was like oh my god that's a reason to have did or osdd? like i never feel like the autistic experience is bad enough to cause shit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sophieinwonderland · 5 months

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An Anti-Endo's Message for Willogenic Systems. Spoiler: Every Word is Wrong!

Starting off with ableist accusations of delusions.

They also don't seem to understand that willogenic systems don't generally will themselves to develop DID.

Maybe they're thinking of transDID. 🤷‍♀️

Accusations of DID faking stretch back a long time. Long before people started paying attention to endogenic and willogenic systems. And there's no evidence the existence of willogenic or endogenic systems has increased this.

In the infamous fakeclaiming McLean Hospital video, the people he used as examples from TikTok were mostly diagnosed traumagenic systems. In the incredibly flawed papers on "imitated DID," many of the case studies claimed to have trauma.

Also, I have it on good authority from many, many traumagenic DID systems that yes, DID systems can create alters.

Oh, and this gets even worse when you delve into the comments!

Now, system isn't really a medical term, and definitely isn't strictly used for people with DID or OSDD.

See Internal Family Systems therapy, for instance.

And outside of that, it's been used in non-medical contexts by non-disordered systems for close to 30 years.

I covered this particular talking point more in my Syscourse Primer.

Aside from the general misinformation though, I also do want to draw attention to the general ableism of calling people you think are suffering from delusions "insane."

Something they double down on, while also saying willogenic systems need hospitalized.

And they double down even further, saying that forced hospitalization is necessary for people.

And I'll say that I don't completely disagree with this there being cases where it's necessary.

At least, I think there are some very, VERY extreme circumstances where people will need to be temporarily hospitalized, such as if they're an immediate danger to themselves or others. There may be no other choice. (Say, if someone has a delusion that they could fly and had plans to test it by jumping off of a roof to prove to people they could.)

Without any sort of immediate danger though, forced hospitalization is likely to do far more harm than good.

This should only be a LAST RESORT option

It's overused as it is. And guess what? The medical community doesn't just lock up anyone who has any sort of delusion!

Not all delusions are harmful! Or, at least, not all delusions put someone at an immediate risk of causing harm to themselves or others.

And this is without touching on how "believing in something I don't like" isn't even a delusion.

At worst, the unfalsifiability of the claim puts this in the same realm as religion. You could just as easily apply this same logic to suggest anyone who feels the presence of God when they pray is delusional.

Part of the reason this is sticky is... who determines who is of sound mind? What gives them the right to strip away an innocent person's rights?

Because like it or not, forced medical confinement is imprisonment without trial, when no laws have been broken. Even if there are extreme cases where this may be necessary, the standard for this needs to be a lot higher than it is now.

And notably, they're suggesting we need a lower standard where anyone with any sort of delusion, or anything they deem to be a delusion, should be forced into confinement.

That is completely unacceptable.

What's even more confusing though is that they seem to suggest in another comment that the thing that makes people "insane" is using the word "willogenic" instead of "tulpa."

So it's not even wanting to lock people up for the belief they have people in their head...

But for calling them a word the OP doesn't want them to?

Imagine calling for people to have their rights stripped away and be forcefully confined because of disagreements over how a word is used!

...

And maybe this is getting nitpicky now...

But no they didn't...

They later showed a picture of this, where a willogenic anon asked how to BUY headmates. But they did not mention selling any.

The actual owner of that account, as far as I know, didn't identify as willogenic.

Oh, and they also posted another image as "proof" of this which didn't mention buying or selling headmates.

Oh, wait! That one is mine!

@artistry-andfandom

What was this screenshot even supposed to prove? Why did you use my post as an example of buying and selling headmates???

#syscourse #pro endo #pro endogenic #ableism #sysblr #multiplicity #psychiatry #willogenic #systems #actually plural #actually a system

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graveyardk1ller · 3 months

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The internet diary of a chronically online insane deadbeat starts here!!!

Oh no!! Im making an online post about my ex?! Cue the clown music!!! :((

Online internet diary of a man who’s realizing his partner is abusive!! GASP?! Yes!! After talking with multiple people and a professional the false soulmate of my life was horrid!! Saying that MY dead friends, who he hated and was the reason of one of their deaths was his own friends?!!

How horrid.. and bless Ashes and Adam’s souls in the stars, Im thankful everyday for being able to talk to both of them in private before the abuser found out and made me cut the gentle souls out of my life because “they were bad for me”

There’s so much to unpack in his little message!!! How DARE I use the internet of a tumbler account to dump my deepest darkest after breakup thoughts?!! How human of me!!!

Burning my CD? Oh man how horrid.. getting upset that I want my expensive CD and Cassette tape? Something that was so special and important to me? How vile of me.. gods forbid!!

Unlike the vile scum we both are, only one of us can be proud about calling the dead our friends without lying. You will never be able to visit their graves and I’m so glad. Adam and Ashe were my friends, and they were for a while before they passed. They both saw the good in me, and yet no matter how hard I tried to convince them you were good, they never believed me, I wish I listened to them about you.

I don’t know how a vile soul like you can claim to be friends with Ashe and Adam, when you hated them, you hated Paultin, you hated Bambii, you hated BVS, oh!! And the behavior you thought was bad and sick? They have DID/OSDD, both of them, everyone you had a ‘bad’ feeling about all happen to be good people, they were never the problem, you were. I’m so thankful every day that they’ve forgiven me for aiding with you and are happy to call me their friends. They’ve welcomed me with open arms because they knew I was a good friend, they all had bad feelings about you, I don’t fully understand it but I’m starting to, and I don’t understand how you believe you were so pure and mighty? You were just as bad as me.

I hope the therapist and the brother and sister you love so much who, let me remind you, took pictures and touched you while you were sleeping and changing, really works out for you.

Unlike you, I don’t plan on living my life with hatred for others, or assuming the worst in people, because that’s all you did in our relationship.

I’m glad we separated, I’m tired of being the one that ‘saved you’, I’m tired of being the person ‘the stars bought to save you’. I’m tired of being a dog following you and forcing myself to let myself be a person who saved you when I’m so much more then that.

This breakup was good. It was great for both of us, I just wish you learn to be less hateful. Cause no matter what people tell me, or what the professionals tell me, I don’t think I’ll ever hate you or think of calling you childish names cause that’s sooo lame xD

Burning items is so bad for the environment especially plastic!! But what do I know? I need to be a ward apparently!!

Feb 11 2024 <3

#The internets fav online incel <3

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michaels-office-hours · 1 year

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Family talks about Christianity sometimes, and I’m actually a pretty new one myself… so if that makes you uncomfortable? Feel free to keep scrolling/unfollow/block. I don’t mind.

But anyway, they talk about it sometimes… and I can’t- really tell them I’m here? This is Mike talking btw. They think OSDD is kinda silly or something to get rid of or idk… but yeah. I have to mask as Jewels at home, I’m pretty good at it? But that’s why I like this blog. Let’s me be myself. But anyway, I’d actually kinda like to- talk about it? Since Jewels has grown up as Christian, and Olivia was pretty young when she split off… so she’s also pretty used to it. And is more into it than Jewels so skhvsjhvsjh. But yeah. I’m new to this? Would like pointers maybe? But that’d out me… in seconds. Would rather not.

Anyway, talking about C.S. Lewis’s “The Problem With X” essay thingy. Idk what it’s called. And yeah there’s a link there in case you’re interested, to the video we watched. C.S. Lewis is one of my favorite authors, he goes deep. Plus he wrote the Screw Tape Letters, and that book is amazing. Freaky, but amazing.

I keep getting sidetracked, ahem. In that video they talk about there’s probably people in your life you have issue with. X Lewis labeled them. You know who they are, annoying parents, nagging grandparents, a neighbor whose too nosy or loud, a sibling whose just rude? Everyone has an X. I’d be surprised if you didn’t.

But the main kicker in the video, was that you’re an X too. To God? Everyone is. He sees them all, and He has a plan. Do we follow that plan? No. Does He stop us? No. Because He wants us to love Him by our own will. He wants it to be real, like His love for us is.

So if God has to deal with all these X’s, but doesn’t change them, what are we to do with them? The same, we can do nothing. Think about it, you can raise hell fire and go up against X. But think about X for a minute, X is a brick wall, aren’t they? You’ve probably had it out with them in the past. All that did was make everyone mad, and your life miserable.

So what we do, is focus on the X we can control. Ourselves. Better ourselves (with God’s help usually, but I do understand if others are reading this. Just try to make a better you, whatever that is) and maybe by example, X will stop being so bad.

Now… here comes my part in this. Jewels bent over backwards, and jumped through hoops. She tried her damnedest to be the best she could for her X’s. Guess why I’m here. Now, guess why I’m typing this? X is still there. Just as stoic in their harshness as ever, maybe worse! And what does she have to show? A hero complex and an inability to see where to draw the line between her own needs, and the wants of those around her. I have that too unfortunately… since I came from that situation.

But that isn’t what C.S. Lewis was suggesting at all. Not at all. And in fact, this is the reason I consider myself a new Christian, because before I didn’t see myself as “good enough” before. Yes, you’re supposed to live an example and try to better yourself. Yes, you can try to fight X, but we all know the kind of X I talking about, there’s no talking to them. So I doubt it will work. But what God doesn’t want you to do, is to change because of X. Don’t make you’re whole personality, trying to please them, or be the best person they want. You’ll never make it.

God wants you to be His child. And guess what? He loves you right now. I don’t give a damn about what X is telling you. “Oh you didn’t take out the garage, you’re horrible” “I’m not being that loud, you’re just rude” “you never spend time with me, you must hate this family” wrong wrong wrong. If X can’t see it? On them. Keep trying to be a good example. But I beg you, know that God loves you now. Right now. For existing. For breathing. He’d love it if you’d try to be a better person! And He’s very proud when you do try. Even when you fail, you tried. And btw? For non-Christians reading this? If you don’t believe in God, or we don’t share one, or whatever the circumstances? I’m proud of you. M’kay? You’re trying. Good on you for that. You’re trying, and still existing in a world of X’s. And man alive I know how hard that is, but you’re doing it. And thank you. Genuinely thank you.

Please, if you’re can. If you didn’t read any of this? Just try to not put too much of a burden on others. Because they’re trying more than you’d think. And know that, while you try? There’s always someone out there loving you for it. You’re an amazing example, and role model, and person in general. And thank you. You can do this. Whoever is in your way? I hope they’ll see the truth soon.

I’m gonna go do something else now. White screen is making the migraine I had before this start to scream skhvsjhvsjg. Good luck guys. You got this. 🫰🏻

#🔥#christianity #animatronic vent alert

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pansypr3p · 1 year

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btw it’s literally impossible to be polyfrag and have OSDD, it’s an oxymoron. polyfragmented is an alternate term for “c-did”/“complex dissociative identity disorder”.

oh god the discourse has FINALLY found me okay so . i literally do not care i could care less im not diagnosed and i dont plan on getting diagnosed for personal reasons yesyes im sure some people and possibly you are like youre not a real system!! ooh!!! real systems want diagnosises and care about labels I DONT. i do not. i care about coping in my day to day life. my symptoms line up more with osdd, and my symptoms line up with being polyfrag. if i tell you i have C-DID will you leave me alone. i just want to live my life with the guys in my head i dont really care what you wanna call us.

#if this wasnt like a bad faith anon im sorry but you walked into my house and told me i was wrong about what i called myself #and like if i did care that would be rude as hell #and since i dont i kind of just want you to Leave #so #-pw

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antirealisation · 2 years

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@thewasteland said: Pls tell me about your beef with structural dissociation I’m so curious, I think it has a lot of holes and I’d like to hear other people’s opinions, if you care to share

Hahah, oh boy.

Okay so I had a whole-ass version of this post where I was just reiterating most of what’s on did-research.org, making it even longer than it already is, so firstly just go look at all that.

But some other notes:

(Not including maybe the big concern of “structural dissociation doesn’t think you’re people” but also psychiatry doesn’t think you’re people so I dunno if that’s a particularly good comment on SD specifically. :V)

I sorta joke that, at least from our perspective, the theory of structural dissociation does the best job at explaining OSDD-1a (or maybe more specifically, ICD-10′s Partial DID), and everything else is secondary to that. Most DID systems we’ve seen -- even those who are hardcore “structural dissociation is life” -- will pause for a moment and say, “Okay well, this alter isn’t completely EP, here’s a bunch of mixed ANP-EP, I dunno if this counts as an ANP?”

We sorta think that’s probably most because structural dissociation actively gives minimal shits about what it calls elaboration -- the presence of identities like gender, sexuality, everything distinct like that. You know, that big difference between DID and OSDD-1a. (I suspect that you could come to a conclusion like how enough elaboration starts to sorta elide the difference between ANP and EP, but elaboration is scary for DID researchers so I dunno if we’ll ever even see that questioned. :V)

Basically: like, cool, I guess that works for spherical systems in vacuums. Are you gonna consider how plenty of systems actually experience themselves or.

Also, as someone who has read plenty of papers about it, it’s... just not particularly well-argued. It regularly feels like one big begging-the-question (in the less-straightforward, “your ‘reasons’ are just reiterating how you assume the premise is true”). Dell’s response to some of the first configurations of the theory is still pretty true today: the argument often comes back to “other definitions of dissociation are insufficient because they’re not about a structural division of the personality.” Van der Hart in particular has this habit of continually writing papers about how some historical description of trauma or another fits the theory of structural dissociation, and that this therefore supports the theory. Which like, historical data is fine, sure, but oh my god there are only so many times you can say Pierre Janet without any current data, not to mention exactly how he decides to use that data is wild at times, and ahh this post is too long as is. :’)

Finally, if we’re talking about clinical utility, there is the huge-ass (to me) problem that structural dissociation has exactly one treatment: fusion. There is no functional multiplicity under structural dissociation. Every moment of multiplicity is, by definition, a “failure to integrate” -- a symptom and a problem. “Functional structural dissociation” makes about as much sense as “functional depression” -- like, fine, maybe you’re functioning for now, but it’d be obviously better for everyone to get rid of it, right? Clinical material based on SD/by the SD people goes maybe some of the hardest on “fine, let your patient think they don’t want to integrate, but challenge that ~*phobia*~ any time you can. They’ll change their mind once they heal more. :)”, like goddamn. And while I don’t think van der Hart losing his license for abusing a client inherently invalidates the theory, especially when he’s not the Only Guy behind the theory and otherwise you’d have to throw out most of psychiatry, right?, I think it’s still relevant to point out that oh boy this theory and its material sure love undermining patient self-report and self-determination, huh? :))

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marshmallowprotection · 3 years

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Kait Reacts To The AE 3/?

Hi! These reactions are written out every time a Chatroom opens and it’s done over the course of the day. So, you’re watching me react in real time as it is for me. So, Spoilers AHOY. Expect Another post like this tomorrow, there is just too many chats to put it all in one post. So, hey, if you click this, you’re opening yourself to spoilers, you make the choice.

[19:11 + Visual Novel]

Okay, oh boy. Saeran made a chatroom that’s safe for us. That was really fast in a short amount of time so I’m always awed at how fast and he and Saeyoung are able to make progress and work because it’s so... quick. It almost seems like it should be impossible when they work. So, he did it. Though, now that that has been done, he admits that we need to talk about what’s coming now. He wants to find out what he can.

There’s no choice.

We have to see this through and we have to find Saeyoung. He’s not going to run in without thinking and that’s my boy. He knows what we’re doing here and how risky it could be. I knew that we were going to go with him because of the passport package, that literally implied that either we were going to have a time for a honeymoon by the end of this route, or we were going to travel with the RFA to find Saeyoung, or Saeran and the player traveling.

That was easy to surmise!

That being said, I feel like I should point how the fusion of Suit Saeran and Ray as he becomes Saeray or GE Saeran. He’s not quite both of them pushed into one place and he’s not quite one or the other, he’s own person with the past and experiences of those two. So, he has the memories of both to draw back on and see when he wants to know. They both had different memories and experiences so when they came together, those personalities met and united.

I won’t lie, it warms my heart when Saeran says that my heart warmed his and helped him. He did that for me and he doesn’t even know it.

What strikes me as odd here is the fact that everyone keeps saying over and over that we, the player, are the reason that things are the way that they are. I don’t know, it feels like Reset Theory to me or them breaking the fourth wall for some reason. I’m not controlling everything, as far as they know, so maybe they just are being modest.

I don’t know, it’s a theme that keeps persisting and bugging me as I’m playing because: I’m not the one that broke free of the control and manipulation, Saeran, you did that yourself. I may have helped you see it but you decided and did that. I appreciate them noting that I helped along the way but I’m just MC. I’m just here for the ride. Is that tone bothering anyone else?

Anyways, as I expected, Saeran asked us to come with him. I note that there is a parallel to Seven’s Bad Ending. You can tell him that you want to leave and never look back at anyone. That likely leads to a Bad Ending but I’m not going to click that. The goal here is to be a peacekeeper and a middleman who is also concise and blunt.

Although, Saeran is a little intense here. I hope he knows that I’d die for him just as fast as he’d die for me.

Anyways, the novel jumps over to Saeyoung at the last second. He is awake again. The Boss says: “You’re awake. Now, let’s wait and see if your knight will make it in time by the end of the day.”

Okay, that’s not good.

Oh, and you receive a phone call after this! It’s from Jumin’s Dad. My god, I got a call from Driver Kim after the 4PM chat, but I never thought I would speak to Jumin’s Dad. Chairman is curious... too curious. He wants to know more about what happened with V. Somehow... he knows that V used the smoke bomb and that made me confused. Did Saeran say something about V? How can he know? And, this man called me from Zen’s phone!

It didn’t have a lock.

Zen hates modern technology.

I wasn’t going to tell Chairman Han about Rika, or anything. He isn’t sure why V did what he did. I told him to ask Jumin. I know his dad worries about Jumin for real but I’m not gonna spill the beans. We can’t do that. He does sound like he does care even though we know he and Jumin are strained. So, I can’t fault him for that but one my biggest questions is: How did V know the agency? Was his dad involved?

The agency is told to us by Saeran to be one that is a big ring... the biggest in the world. So... rich people would use it. Did Jumin’s dad get involved in that or even Jihyun’s dad? is that how?

He also says that he is a bit jealous of ours and Saeran’s love.

Tells us about his forlorn love-life.

He wishes that we can find Saeyoung, at least. Oh, and remember the Agency saying that they were going to slander the RFA and C&R? Yeah, this is already in motion.

AND THAT’S NOT ALL. SAEYOUNG CHOI. NO. I know you don’t want us to come because it’s a trap but... I’m so worried about you honey. I’m so worried about you right now. I know he can survive hell. He didn’t sleep, eat, or drink for three days on the HBC mission. But... this isn’t good. He can access the safe chat, too. It’s just Saeran, myself, and him. But... what about the agency?

[20:44]

While I do love being able to see young Saeran... I don’t like the context of why Rika is doing this. So, Saeran comes into the chatroom. We talk about his time at the cathedral. He makes it clear that... he feels complicated about his mother, yes, she was a monster to him, but that was his only family at the time. He didn’t have Saeyoung. He didn’t want to lose that last connection. He said that every person at the church was nice to him.

But, he never saw Rika or Jihyun as a mother or father. Just people looking out for him. In all honesty, I really never wanted Saeran to have to talk to Rika ever again. I hated that he was going to have to go through this again because that last talk with her on day 10 was perfect. He spoke his peace and said she would never have power over him again.

Rika’s point here... I’m not sure. She feels like they were a family, like they were close and happy. She clearly wants to rip the rug from under Saeran and bring him down again. She tries to bring up his mother, bring up family, try to guilt him into this. Guilt him into leaving alone. I don’t like it. Rika wants to make herself feel better about what happened.

She doesn’t even... It’s all about how she phrases this. It’s all about, “What about me? What about ME? What am I supposed to do to be a good parent?” Ma’am, you lost that right. You don’t get to ask that to him. You don’t get to be his mother or claim him. He’s not an object. He’s not toy. He’s a person with feelings and he won’t be spun by you.

I appreciate how Saeran can just... ignore her. I respect that. I trust that. I am so proud of him for ignoring and not giving into her whims. That takes a lot of real strength with real abusers. It’s not easy. I’m proud of that. Now here’s where the game tries to smack the fuck out of me and I don’t know what to think about how they are phrasing it.

Okay, so, now she’s claiming that she’s split into fragments as well. I’m not going to comment on her mental health here. Your actions are not excused no matter what you may suffer from. Own up to what you do, learn, grow, change, but do not expect people to forgive you or make up with you. You are owed nothing at all when you do bad things. And, even with DID, the actions as the system as a whole come together. One action puts everyone at risk. So, even if she suffers from a form of DID/OSDD, they better not being try to say that she’s excused because “Devil Did It.”

That’s not how this works.

Suit Saeran admitted he fucked up. He took responsibility. Ray admits he made a lot of mistakes. He owns up to it. Everyone in the system takes responsibility for what happens. That’s just how it works. So, I don’t know what Rika is trying to do but... trying to make Saeran think they’re the same isn’t right. It’s just back to gaslighting.

Trying to trick him.

Even if I’m utterly wrong about Rika, this isn’t how you behave. In Rika Behind Story, they try to say Mika is at fault too, but Mika only helped Rika go through with it, and when Mika died, Rika kept doing it. She could have stopped and she didn’t. She made the drugs. Stole money to make her cult. ETC. Okay, she is in the wrong. She knows it. She admitted it. So, uh, Rika just stop talking you are giving me a headache. No matter how you spin it, ma’am, you’re wrong.

Anyways, we jump to the Visual Novel and now Saeran and myself are on the run here. We left the hospital and headed out. We’re going to the apartment. He said that V owned it. You can even say that you [used to live in this area]. This uh, Reset Theory fear I had earlier is starting to really scare me a lot. I don’t know if it’s a jest or...

I don’t know.

The agency has made their attack. Saeyoung made a deal with Chairman Han in the background. You can call him and talk to him and Driver Kim after this chat, so do that if you can. Chairman Han tells us that Saeyoung cared for the RFA and wanted to help support Jumin after he sold the rights to C&R for his drinks. He gets nothing. It was meant for children in need. But, the Agency is using the offers sent to C&R and Jaehee to blow things up.

Saeran knows that this is going to be bad.

We both know it’s about to get really bad. It’s going to be hard to fight this sort of thing. Why are so many of these options self-aware? Is this just me? Am I the only one with this issue?

Hm. Okay, so, Driver Kim gets to talk to us about Jumin. That man loves and cares for him and has been looking over him since he was a kid. He can’t believe V did what he did. He just can’t. He said V was cold before... he did photography, which makes a lot of sense to me. My God, I... it’s just a lot to take in. Don’t worry, Driver Kim is looking after Jumin and Jaehee.

I’m still iffy about Chairman Han. He has always... not been the best dad but I know in his own way he loves his son. Even if I don’t agree with the way that he shows his love.

THOUGHT I WAS DONE BUT OUT GOING CALL

I GET TO FEED HIM WHILE WE’RE DRIVING AND TORMENT HIM? IS THIS HEAVEN?

No but really... my self-aware paranoia...

[21:56]

So, this chat is a Rika and V chat. V sends us the passcode for the apartment to use. It seems strange enough... the title of the chat says that it’s supposed to be normal chit-chat, but it’s not. We know that. It’s just a deceptive factor used to go and trick you into thinking that things will be okay. Here’s the thing, this gives us a lot more insight into what’s happening with V and Rika. I knew what was going on to an extent.

This only further confirms that Rika is far too gone. It’s all about Rika, and what Rika feels and nothing else. There’s a few hints and teased at the Rika Behind Story and what she did with Mika in the apartment. V gave her the building, the entire thing. He owns the whole thing. That’s why... ah, there is a bomb. Nobody will die because it’s just an empty building.

Now, I can’t even imagine being the MC in the Casual/Deep Routes because you are literally alone in a high floor of an abandoned apartment building but you don’t know that. Oh, my God. She talks about how she make Mint Eye there and my God, the banter between Rika and V here...

God, there’s so much pettiness?

At the end of the day, we know that Jihyun feels himself a martyr. He wants to burn down with the building. He’s prepared to do it. He is prepared to suffer and weep and that is it. He’s taken that. He’s accepted Rika’s “devil” only because he knows nobody else can suffer if he takes her away. I don’t like that, and he does know that he’s wrong here.

But, we know... I guess, that he still cares.

Even if he’s willing to play the part of something that left them all behind and turned against them to suffer forever.

He says that Jumin and C&R will be doomed. It’s not good. They’re making more and more threats. They aren’t the ones that are doing this but they say that they are involved with the ones that did it. But, they are working with them by having that deal and honestly, that’s not okay. They both are ignoring it for their own reasons. I still think that Rika wants to have the boys killed for her own safety and to get away. I don’t know if that’s what will happen but she keeps saying it has to be Saeran alone, and Saeyoung alone.

I don’t trust that.

And, I won’t.

Either way, there’s a really short Visual Novel. We arrive there and it’s... quiet, and it’s not a good sign. I never thought that we’d be here again, but we are and I don’t know what to think. So, we’re going to try in the morning so... that’s a thought to be had.

FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST THE CALL AFTER THIS KILLED ME I CANNOT EVEN ENGLISH. HIGHLIGHTS CAUSE I CAN’T TALK RIGHT NOW ANYMORE.

[23:05]

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dreamscape-popstar · 3 years

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who’s dogboywoofwoof and what did they do? /gen

They're a person on DRinsta who acts so pretentious and kind of dick-ish for no reason. They're a fictive of Togami and have a Kiyondo fictive and I've had personal experience with Kiyondo and oh my god just the worst

Their opinions on things are so out of nowhere, like outright claiming certain ships are abusive yet supporting ones that actually are abusive and spreading harmful information

Most of us with DID and OSDD outright HATE it when people claim Junko Enoshimas "personality switching" is based off of DID. And most if not all of it comes from singlets who think they know us better (they don't). And then Kiyondo decides to make an exact post about "Junkos DID coding" which was ten slides of "I have no idea what I'm talking about and am sharing the same tired and closeminded stereotype of information that everyone else has" . But noo its okay since they have DID as well (and also BPD even though they spread harmful misinformation abt it on the same post. I'm not gonna fakeclaim but why would you lie about your own disorder 😭)

In general they're a pretentious douchebag who thinks they act so much better than everyone else (also they specifically told me in a DM that they get a lot of money via a relative and spend said money on expensive plushies only to destroy them and as a poor person how fucking dare you, how heartless can you get jfc)

#popstar asks

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justthatamount · 3 years

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I just read a fic where the mc had DID and like I dunno if I'm allowed to be upset because there's just so much wrong with it. Like the mc just notices one day "Oh my God voices! Gasp hallucinations!" Like no they where always there calm down. Or like timing lost time? Like how would you even manage that? You always feel so foggy after a switch like why would you do that and then chart it just cus why not I guess? Also the trauma is not "disconnect from my parents because x, y, z" it's "I had perfectly loving parents and did experience trauma but my parents where always there for me even if I didnt tell them" oh and the fact that he tells a doctor he's hallucinating and the doctor just goes "cool DID" instead of I don't know more likely "oh schizophrenia? DID? What's that are you sure that's a real thing?" As most doctors would. Or how all the alters look the same and there are a lot of the wrong words used and the author calls OSDD DID but without trauma? Like did you research at all?? Or just like no timeline on any of the recovery stuff so it's basically "oh I've got DID? Bam able to go into the inner world. Bam no denial. Bam immediately being able to work in perfect harmony with my alters" or like people will walk into the room and immediately know which alter is fronting. Like ok I could understand like say if there where like fronting indicators or something but there's not! And all of the comments are so misinformed and like "oh this is cool!" And their therapist is like not at all taking it slow. Like ok so a th protector fronts obviously very upset because the therapist basically almost forced the host to remember trauma. He's like "Hell no! Don't do that" this is like their 5/6th therapy session btw. Then like gets super upset when she continues to pry and leaves going into the bathroom. Another alter who's the only other one to know of the trauma fronts and calms the body down ready to go back and speak with her ending the session. She's standing right outside the freaken stall! Where they where having a mental breakdown! This is somehow presented as a good thing for some reason?? Not only that she also guilts a trauma holder into talking about his trauma before he's ready by saying the host is paying for it! Like dont do that?? Oh yeah and there's one trauma holder right? But they're a persecutor so like that's how all the trauma holders are presented. Also there's no littles? Like at all when I mean no?? There are 6 alters 3 fragments and the host. One of them is a teen and then the other is like talked about like a villain? I mean the author stated they don't have DID but they also didn't seem to research a lot. Like maybe I can understand trying to pass of the visual hallucinations and an overactive imagination filling in for the voices he hears once he knows them more which is why they all look close to him. But nope! Just brushed off as being rare. Also they bring up the whole "alters looking different" thing and I'm like more than 1 alter looking exactly like the body is virtually impossible. Oh and they say "all him but not him" and I just there's so many better ways to explain that but they just leave it at that.

Btw no shade to the author at all they're really trying I'm just being pissy.

#rant

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stormycat885 · 4 years

Text

Guess i should do this since im new here and nobody knows me yet since i haven't done an introdiction. Heres a little about me.

🖍: how many littles are there? At least 3, possibly more.

💋: are any of your headmates dating? I think so? Not sure..

🍎: what are y'alls favorite foods? I know the cat loves raw fish. At least one of us likes corn while the rest hates it and wont go near the stuff. Most of us hate peaches but someone likes them.

👹: how many non-human members are there? 1 just the cat. Oh yeah.. and a demon persecuter.

👠: how difficult is it for y'all to agree on one cohesive outfit? Not hard at all usually since i dont own that many clothes, but the male prefers hoodies and sneakers.

💥: how much in-system fighting is there? I guess that depends on what you consider as fighting. There are constant arguements and disagreements every day. Its over anything from what to eat, when to wake up, what to say during a conversation, what to do for leisure.. where to keep my items in my room..

✴️: how many fictives do you have? I dont think any that i know of if you mean based off of existing characters.

🎃: are there any headmates that could be considered scary? (demons/ghosts/vampires/etc.) Yes. A demon. The whole system is scared of them. They were.. very physically dangerous and responsible for the darker desires and unhealthy coping habits so we locked them up in the inner world for years.. recently in the effort of acceptence and integration they were released. They recently are believed to have somehow merged(integrated) with someone else (dunno who since i didnt know how many i have in the first place and communication is almost nil) and have changed their appearance and become slightly less dark.

🌆: what does your headspace look like? A black void save for a single street which only 3 people live on and a randome empty room now.

👂: what kind of music do y'all like? You name it. No country though.. its emotionally triggering.

🤝: are you out as a system to anyone? My boyfriend.

😶: any headmates that rarely front? Yes. I have an apparently npc who never fronts. And another npc whome i dont think ever has?

😱: do your headmates have any phobias? Some of them are afraid of bugs, the cat hates water except to drink. At least one is afraid of clowns which is weird because at least a couple darker people love clowns.

🗣: who is the main fronter? Me? I honestly dont know who i am at any given time with the exception of a little, the male named christin and the cat, or the demon.

🔢: how many headmates are there? God knows. I only consiously know of 9 counting the npc's. I feel like there are probly more.

🆕: who’s the newest member? I dont know that either. The one i became aware of most recently happened several months ago and is the youngest little.. only 3 or 4 years old.

🛌: which headmates are the caretakers? Christin definitely is one, although he hates the job. And a mothering female figure another but i know nothing more about her. One of the npc's and the possibly oldest alter is also one.

🌪: which headmates are the protectors? There are at least 3. ... i .. she doesnt want anyone knowing things about her and is, not for the first time, stopping me from talking about her for safety reasons.. though i have no idea what could possibly happen. Christin is also a protector too. One other but i dont know them.

🌫: how often do y'all dissociate, if at all? Every day at least once. I might as well just say i live in that state. Ive also been told many times in my life i just always look dazed and confused.

🕸: what’s your oldest memory of being a system? I heard voices and had "an imaginary friend" when i was about 8 or 9. I only learned about DID/osdd earlier this year.

💬: free space! tell one cool fact about your system

All but 4 of us answer to the name of Crystal.

#did osdd #alters #osdd system #osdd #did #system

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sophieinwonderland · 4 months

Text

r/FakeDisorderCringe doesn't know what biblical canon is, atheists are offended by saying God is plural, and other people casually throwing out some blasphemies and ableism!

👎

For uncreative title.

Atheists Pretending To Be Deeply Offended...

So, let me guess, you're not actually Christian are you?

Those guys sure aren't.

So weird how people pretend to be offended over a religion they aren't even a part of.

(Let's be real though, that's most of the tulpa discourse.)

Oh... you considered converting.

That clearly gives you a say in this conversation. /s

Meanwhile, my host actually lived the religion. He was Christian through his teenage years, and as a child helped his mom teach Sunday School and went to sleep every night on a Noah's Ark pillow.

Sorry, I distracted from your point. We're thieves stealing from a religion. 🙄

Okay, let's talk "canon!"

I just... I LOVE this whole conversation! 🤣

THIS is actual cringe.

Does anyone see the issue here?

I'll let u/AdSuccessful3533 spell it out. Possibly the only person with sense in the thread.

It's not just Catholic Canon either, but Biblical Canon! Like, there's a whole Wikipedia article on it!

The sheer self-righteous ignorance of r/Fakerdisordercringe (and r/systemscringe) never ceases to amaze me.

All of these people so bent out of shape over the use of "canon" to describe biblical text as if that's not been in use for hundreds of years!

"Something a middle schooler would say."

The Heresies!

That's correct. This is NOT the modalism heresy.

Modalism suggests God is a single unified being who reveals himself in different forms. God being plural would mean that God is three beings in one. This is completely in-line with the views of Trinitarianism.

An example of the modalism heresy would be more like this...

Comparing God to Optimus Prime, arguing that they're just different forms like Optimus Prime in a truck form vs him in a robot form, is modalism.

But if modalism isn't enough, we've got some tritheism too!

Besides the tritheism... it's really hard to take people who are calling tulpas appropriative seriously when they don't even know basic facts about the most popular religion in the world.

Also, the part about System not being a term for a person with DID is technically correct. System is, rather, the term used for the total collection of all the alters. But it is very much a term used by psychologists and it's accurate to refer to the Trinity as a system in this way.

Also, if the Tritheism bothers you, don't worry! We're going to go right back to modalism.

The H2O metaphor is controversial for the same reason as comparing God to Optimus Prime. It suggests God is simply changing form to become these different things.

Miscellaneous

Can you show me that rabbit hole?

I'm the one who Tweeted that, and have NEVER been on the OSDD sub.

Who do you think I am?

No... it definitely doesn't sound right. Religion shouldn't just be a thing for neurotypicals.

If one believes in God, then surely God made all people, including those of us who have mental illnesses. Why should Christianity and biblical references be kept away from people with mental illness other than ableism?

I mean, if by in peace, you mean without endogenic systems, then no. You can't.

We're here and we aren't going away. Ever.

And we exist in all spaces, including in your churches and your religious communities. And Christian systems shouldn't be expected to hide who they are because our existence bothers bigots like you.

We're going to share this world, and we're going to share spaces. And that includes churches and religious spaces too. Deal with it. 🤷‍♀️

Acknowledgements:

I would like to thank everyone at r/fakedisordercringe for giving me the free material. For a subreddit that's designed to laugh at people for supposed "cringe," you all sure are a goldmine for it! 😜

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oc-planet · 2 years

Text

pinned post for my main ocs, or the ocs i'll be posting the most about. the info isn’t in depth for them all cuz i wanted to keep this short, and not all of my ocs are in this.

the big ones, the ones who are the most involved with the in story universe

annabelle rose hawthorne (aka ko):

pronouns: she/her

age: 9 at death date, 72 modern times

DOB: may 15th 1949

sexuality(in her own words!): i have more important things to care about than who i think is cute.

gender(in her own words!): girl i guess. i really don’t care.

ghost who's possessing a stuffed bunny

just an edgelord with trauma

accidentally became friends with this universe's equivalent to the grim reaper and satan

she just kinda vibes now

picrew

tag: ko baby

annie blair clark:

pronouns: she/her (maybe some it/its action too?)

DOB: january 12th 1973

age: 19 at death date, 49 modern times

sexuality(in her own words!): i like men

gender(in her own words!): girl

human, but she kinda no longer exists? but when she did exist it was a human.

because of its unstable mental state and high spiritual energy, they were a prime target to be used as a vessel for zares(harbinger of the apocalypse basically)

ko killed her for the memes(revenge)

a week after she died, it forgot it did, so annie just showed up to her retail job in a rapidly changing very unstable mist like form

has mommy issues(most important part of her character)

picrew

tag: abc baby

yuie:

pronouns: they/them

age: if we go by annie’s death date, may 7th 1992

DOB: if we go by date of creation, 30

sexuality(in their own words!): a lot...

gender(in their own words!): also a lot...

they are the collection of souls

before annie died, she simply hosted the souls in herself, but when she did die, there was no physical barrier holding them all hostage and unconscious, so they all fused together(which was part of the reason annie was a perfect candidate go be used by zares while it was living)

how did it host the souls? the souls she was hosting were the remnants of her past lives

after they caused some shenanigans in the living world, they got forcefully dragged into hell

once yuie got to hell, they were made the god/s of reincarnation

used to have multiple different forms, but they all semi-fused into a single consciousness

but two of the five souls(annie and someone else...) do NOT like ko at all and freak out when they see her

picrew

tag: yuie babies

*note, not a metaphor for did/osdd. if anyone who's in a system sees yuie and is like "oh wow relatable" that's fine, just know that yuie was never made to be one. and lmk if yuie is a problematic depiction of those disorders too(even if they were never meant to be that)

oyakoyi:

she/he/they

age: a couple centuries younger than the universe, but at date of death she was 14

birthday: july 14th

sexuality(in her own words!): hee hee hoo hoo men!

gender(in his own words!): i just go with however i’m feeling in the moment, go with the flow, y’know? (genderfluid)

ex-human, now basically satan! (yay)

lived on this earth hella long, like he's super old

he loves humans! likes to come up to the living world and chill with them

shape-shifting king, loves to troll

religious trauma from when they were alive

they secretly are going behind her boy best friend’s(zares) back by sabotaging his apocalypse plans, which is how she became friends with ko. just to say “heyyy thanks for killing annie for me :3″

picrew

tag: oya baby

rezzie aka zares:

pronouns: he/it

DOB: whenever the universe was made is his birthday

age: as old as the universe i guess

sexuality(in his own words!): i dunno

gender(in his own words!): i am a man, for legal purposes

demon dude

he is the boy best friend

don’t wanna talk too in depth about how my ocs universe was made, just know that rezzie and yikothololath(tholath for short) are twin brothers who were made as guardians for the afterlife, and rezzie hates its brother

rezzie is also an edgelord, but on the opposite side that ko is(ko is trauma edgelord, rezzie is 13 year old who makes cringe compilations edgy.)

rezzie doesn’t have a stable physical form, so for the last few centuries he’s been trying to use a human’s body to achieve its goal to destroy tholath, but each human he tries to use mysteriously dies hmmmm...

rezzie is the one who saved oyakoyi from her suffering in the living world, and gave them the powers she uses to this day.

rezzie doesn’t want oyakoyi to know of its plan to hurt tholath(cuz that plan involves destroying earth) and he knows that oyakoyi loves earth

picrew

tag: rez baby

still important ones, just have slightly less control on the overarching story:

charlie andrew jones:

pronouns: he/him

age: 24

DOB: november 9th 1996

sexuality(in his own words!): straight? i like women, they are really pretty. but one day i went outside to pick up the mail, and i saw this guy who looked like a girl and i thought he was super pretty and liked him, but once he told me he was a guy i didn’t get grossed out or whatever? and i still liked him? does that make me gay? but i like women, and only women except for him. i am sorry, i am not super into the gay stuff, the gender stuff. i am probably straight. i think. hmm but that guy i saw...(he is pansexual)

gender(in his own words!): uh i am a guy

his story takes place in the modern day, and is rezzie’s current target

he’s just... really sad. needs a hug.

did bad things as a kid, and feels as if he can never atone and that he never deserves forgiveness.

almost never leaves his room

forgot how to interact normally with people, but most of his new friends are also super weird so they don’t notice that

picrew

tag: char baby

ohta ueno

pronouns: he/him

DOB: august 9th 2004

age: 19

sexuality(in his own words!): bisexual

gender(in his own words!): just a gnc cis guy, but on the topic of gender let me tell you about this--[UNRELATED RANT CUT OFF]

he is the “guy that looked like a girl” that charlie saw

ohta’s super weird and eccentric. he speaks his mind and instantly regrets it. he’ll trauma dump, realize what he’s doing, and then continue to trauma dump but instead lie about his traumas to “throw you off his track”

ultra paranoid, always brings a survival pack wherever he goes.

autism. special interest are rabbits, ghosts, and zombies

he and ko would get along great! they are both very edgy.

cusses like a sailor, very emotional

but is also hilarious, thrives off of positive attention

picrew

tag: ohta baby

Tuyệt Ly Bùi(ohta gave him the nickname of “yeti” and charlie calls it “lia”)

pronouns: they/he/it in english chanh in vietnamese

DOB: June 2nd 1995

age: 26

sexuality(in their own words!): lesbian

gender(in their own words!): butch lesbian

used to be good friends with charlie back when they both were kids, did stupid kid stuff together

but they ended their friendship with each other and haven’t talked in around 7 years

and hooo boy did tuyệt change a lot in those 7 years. its whole personality changed, its style, its gender. charlie only recognized him because tuyệt has a weird birthmark on their collarbone

a couple years after tuyệt and charlie stopped being friends, tuyệt made a popular instagram blog about their weird gender thoughts.

picrew

tag: yeti baby

not really that important at all to the main story but i love them anyways:

(note, their main stories take place while they’re in high school, so that’s why the look so young in the picrews)

Isabelle Aime Miller

pronouns: she/her

DOB: Octobober 30th 1971

age: 16 at death, 51 now

sexuality(in her own words!): when i was like, a kid and stuff, there wasn’t even a concept for being aroace! i’m chill with oyakoyi and one day she was telling me about some modern day queer stuff, and once they mentioned what aroace was, i was like, “oh my god, that’s me!”

gender(in her own words!): i think it’s called cisgender woman? either way i’m a girl.

maturity? what’s that haha *knocks over vase*

puppy like and adorable

has billions of bruises that she doesn’t know where they came from

light of the world

everyone knows her, she’s super nice to everyone

but a lot of people find her annoying

but has a small group of friends who adore her

picrew

tag: izzy baby

Finley William Sallow

pronouns: he/him

DOB: September 13th 1971

age: 51

sexuality(in his own words!): bisexual, i like men and women

gender(in his own words!): man

seems super cold and uncaring, but on the inside he has an overabundance in emotions, he just doesn’t express them on his face

really bad at lying. the only time emotion will show on his face is when he is trying to lie.

he’s a pretty boy too, and knows it. he sees no use for modesty.

incredibly blunt. never sugarcoats anything.

had a huge crush on izzy, and when she died he started investigating the mysterious circumstances around her death

oh yeah he also has magic powers btw(unlocked them while chilling with rezzie and oyakoyi)

invited oyakoyi, a ghost, and a zombie to his wedding(what a king)

picrew

tag: finny baby

Hallie Aster

pronouns: doesn’t care, use whatever

DOB: October 30th 1971

age: 51

sexuality(in their own words!): lesbian.

gender(in their own words!): genderqueer

hallie was izzy’s guardian angel

was in a rivalry with finley, competing for izzy’s heart

really short, wears ultra baggy clothing, but is secretly ultra muscular. could snap me like a toothpick.

literally can’t lie. only tells the truth cuz they were told that lying is bad and hallie doesn’t want to be bad

is a huge weirdo and does blacksmithing as a hobby

when she came down from the heavens to protect izzy when they would be toddlers, they both almost got kidnapped and hallie stabbed the attempted kidnapper in the leg to get away.

huge badass, too cool for school(it’s the autism!)

picrew

tag: hallie baby

Leonardo “Lenny” Julio Garcia Konig(he hates being called leonardo, refuses to answer to that name)

pronouns: he/him

DOB: august 29th 1970

age: 52

sexuality(in his own words!): i’m gay. yeah.

gender(in his own words!): i’m just a guy(imagine this being said very awkwardly)

one of my favorite ocs tbh

(au where autism became an actual diagnosis before the mid 80s so then i wouldn’t have to shift around the timeline and ages of the guys in this category) lenny got diagnosed with autism when he was 3

his older brothers were abusive to him when he was growing up(because lenny acted “weird” and ect.) school? he had no friends, he has no idea on how to socialize, he was ignored at school and by his parents.

lenny one day was like “fuck this” and ran away from home.

lenny, despite having no idea on how to interact with people, became really good at lying and manipulating people to get what he wanted while living as a homeless runaway, so now he only knows how to talk to people if it’s in a lying sense.

lenny was obsessed with this book series about a group of kids adventuring, and the final book in the series came out when he was homeless, and when he finally got the chance to read it, it was terrible. so lenny made fanfiction of what he thought a better ending would be.

he acts all cute and soft when you first meet him, but once you get to know him, you see he’s just super sleepy, blunt, and angry at all the shitty stuff that happened to him in the past. but no matter what he’s really awkward. and affection starved.

married to finley btw

picrew

tag: lenny baby

Maya Cedillo Diaz

pronouns: she/her

DOB: November 2nd 1972

age: 50

sexuality(in her own words!): lesbian

gender(in her own words!): lesbian! ^^

maya is so sweet, like candy. dipped in sugar.

she is one of the chillest people out there. she is also like a puppy, but not as hyper as izzy. like an older dog that’s starting to calm down a bit

she is pretty blunt and doesn’t tip toe around the truth though, so some may (wrongly) perceive her as rude, especially since she english is her second language and has trouble using the right words sometimes

a little mischievous sometimes, always drags lenny and her little brother into her schemes

one of lenny’s first friends, and gets along super well with almost anyone

cuts her own hair and lenny’s, though lenny doesn’t like having super short hair so maya just takes care of his bangs.

picrew

tag: maya baby

Carmen Renée Álvaro

pronouns: she/her

DOB: december 7th 1970

age: 52

sexuality(in her own words!): don’t care that much about gender! just want someone i can love! (bisexual)

gender(in her own words!): i am a woman, but in a weird way, like how the moon is a woman!

hardcore witch, literally wore a witch hat to school (what a nerd)

disabled, older sister helps her decorate her wheelchair to make it look cool!

has so many rocks it’s unreal...

worshipped zarasevna(grim reaper equivalent) and has connections to oyakoyi

oyakoyi literally showed carmen a secret bar where they could chill with other ghosty people. carmen showed that bar off to her new group of friends(that is how finley found the zombie to invite to his wedding)

carmen seems a little quiet and chill at first, but gets progressively more chaotic the longer you know her.

she is a huge jokester, can sometimes go too far with her jokes and hurt people though. she’s trying to work on noticing when she’s gone too far.

picrew

tag: car baby

Ahmya Funai

pronouns: she/her

DOB: April 4th 1934

age: 16 at time of death, 88 modern day

sexuality(in her own words!): uh, i think it is called celibate? i have no interest in sex stuff. and i don’t really know the correct words to use, so sorry if i used a wrong one! (asexual hetero romantic)

gender(in her own words!): it’s simple, i’m just a girl...

really emotional, never got the chance to sort out her emotions when she died, so all of her traumas were left to fester like an open wound.

has a messy attachment style, one moment she’ll be super clingy, the next she’s terrified to even talk to you.

easily stressed out, and prone to lash out if she’s pushed far enough

despite all that, once she found people she was able to form a semi-normal bond with, she cherished them all deeply, and tries her best to not lash out at them

ultra shy, does not know how to talk to people at all. very quiet.

but oh boy when she does talk, she sure does talk! loves cartoons she can’t shut up about them(it’s the autism)

she is the ghost that was invited to finley’s and lenny’s wedding

picrew

tag: ahmya baby

De’andre Emil Smith

pronouns: he/him

DOB: july 9th 1972

age: 50

sexuality(in his own words!): uh, i don’t care at all about gender. if i love someone enough, it wouldn’t matter what they were(pansexual)

gender(in his own words!): i’m a man, not much more to say

really quiet. like a shadow. almost undetectable. really awkward, a huge dork.

he looks all badass and tough and shit, but as a kid when he got home he played princess tea party with his little sister. now? he goes out to coffee with her once a month(at a really girly coffee place too, but that doesn’t matter to de’andre)

he tries to act all intimidating, but he is so weird and eccentric you can’t really take him seriously.

he took drama in high school

when he became an adult, he and his daughter watched cartoons together(and played princess tea party)

does music on the side

picrew

tag: deanie baby

#oc intros

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sad-boy-hank · 3 years

Note

Ok Mono's smashing his head on a mental wall due to how misinformed you are about DID and OSDD.

People without trauma cannot dissociate because they integrated properly. The only reason a person's brain couldn't integrate properly is because of T R A U M A.

DID and OSDD are disorders caused by early childhood T R A U M A that prevents the brain from integrating properly.

Endos literally can't fuckin exist. Science has proved this. Don't twist the DSM in favor of endos because you can't read.

As someone who has severe trauma because of my father, my brain didn't integrate properly. Now add on my current emotional abuse and you have a mental mess.

Get your facts right. Endos can't exist. Endos dont belong in the DID/OSDD community. Endos. Can't. Exist. Endos. Will. Never. Exist.

Thank you for listening to my Ted Talk I just go super mad at this I'm not sorry.

-Ryuichi of the Glitter

bitch do i look like my brain has integrated properly? literally I am the opposite of integrated. i have a whole heap of disorders which are not only awful as hell and I hate them, but they also make me constantly stressed. dissociation is a mechanism to cope with mass amounts of stress. alters are created to cope with mass amounts of stress(and/or trauma). literally I was constantly supressing emotions, thoughts, and urges as a child and it made me Very Fucked Up. Like. it got to where i’d want to cut myself open or tear my skin off when I saw another person. literally I have anxiety so bad that my brain couldn’t handle all of the stress at once. literally I hate this ask so much. oh my god. deadass. i was just so fucked in the head that my brain split (for lack of a better term) y e a r s before the trauma. jesus fucking christ. its not just a funny little roleplay thing it sucks and i hate dissociating so much .

0 notes

shadowfae · 7 years

Note

I've recently stumbled across the word "otherkin" and it seems to describe certain feelings I have, but the tumblr tags seem to be full of unuseful information and, well, silliness. I'm sort of looking for people to talk to while I try to sort myself out, without making too much light of it. Do you have any advice on sifting through everything?

Besides going ‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA’ and never doing anything about it?

First things first. You’re new, so we’re going to divide this into two parts. Part one, crash course on otherkinity, alterhumanity, and the little branches of it you should know about. Those words and terms will help you figure out what’s what. Part two is great, you know all these terms, how do you sort through the mess that is kinfeels.

Under a readmore because long, since I ramble sometimes. I’m glad you asked, and if you have any further questions, hit me up again and I’ll do what I can.

Part One: What Even Is Otherkinity

Otherkinity is identifying involuntarily and nonphysically as something nonhuman. You aren’t saying you are physically this thing (as you are physically human), you cannot choose to be this thing and can’t choose not to be this thing, and you do not identify as human 100%.

The modifiers: Fictionkin means you can be something that is human, but it must be fictional (like Harry Potter or Percy Jackson or smth). You can be a member of a fictional species that isn’t human (like the Elf Queen’s Daughters of the early 70s that started the fictionkin community). It is still involuntary and nonphysical.

Otherkinity is divided into three ‘main’ branches: therianthropy, otherkinity, and fictionkind. Therians (or therianthropes) ID as an animal that has been or is on Earth. Like dinosaurs or foxes. There are an absurd amount of wolf therians here on tumblr. Those that are obviously faking or haven’t questioned enough for even themselves and just went with ‘wolf’ because it’s cool are called wolfaboos. Usually I just don’t talk to them, since to each their own and they’re not actively being annoying, but please don’t just “oh I’m not human clearly I’m a wolf” the moment you get kinfeels. Things don’t... work... like that...

Anyway. Otherkinity as a sublabel of itself generally has within it our conceptkin (I’m calling it that for now. Things like voidkin or starkin), theriomythics (fantasy animals within mythology such as unicorns and youkai), draconics (draconity, which is dragons and pretty self explanatory), the vampire and were____ communities, and probably a few others.

Fictionkind I already went over. I have three kintypes that are fictionkind in nature. They are called fictotypes for this reason. (Kintypes is the label for all of them, but there is also theriotypes and fictotypes for therianthropy and fictionkind.)

Those fictotypes are Pale Noël from the Evillious Chronicles, a noncanon Devil from DSP’s works, and an Absol from Pokemon. As I have more than two kintypes, I am in what we call ‘polykin hell’. Though tbh, most people put themselves in polykin hell when they’re up past five. Poor guys.

The things that are close to otherkinity but not actually it!

Copinglinkers- They ID as something voluntarily to cope with something. Usually trauma or mental illness. While not otherkin, they are alterhuman and do belong in our community. They are also called copingkin, which is a bit outdated but since copinglink is a new term, I’ll let it slide. (It was coined by @who-is-page, actually, and they are a delight to follow if you want to see antikin absolutely dragged through the mud.)

Otherhearted- Those who identify not as something but with it. As an example, I am faehearted and shadowhearted. I identify with those things because one of my fictotypes did, and that carried over. It is very easy to mistake heartfeels for kinfeels. Regardless, like c’linkers and ‘kin they are alterhuman and totally rad.

Synpaths- Tbh I’m not quite sure what’s the difference between synpaths and ‘hearted. (I have heard it is ‘ID with this’ versus ‘I want to hug that’ but you should not be asking me; as I don’t have a fuckin’ clue.) Either way, if you think you have a synpath go research that. Please don’t ask me, I don’t know. All I know is that they exist and they do stuff, so they’re worth mentioning.

There are also ways to be otherkin, for lack of a better term. Ways you explain why you identify as these things. There are two main ‘branches’ to this: spiritual and psychological. There are also religious, cultural, and probably a few other reasons, but let’s go with the ones off the top of my head.

Spiritual- Can be anything from ‘my soul is this and my body is not’ to ‘I was this in a past life, and it is still relevant’. (You can have past lives that aren’t kintypes. The difference is simply how much they affect you. I do believe I had a life a fuckass long time ago in second age Senntisten, but as it isn’t relevant outside of vague memories of fire, it isn’t a fictotype of mine.)

Psychological- Anything from ‘I used this as a c’link at one point but it is now irreversible, and I am this now’ to ‘My brain decided to be wired weird and now I ID as this’. Essentially, you have a psychological reasoning for being kin or hearted or whatev. Psychological otherkin get thrown under the bus a lot because really angry copinglinks insist they’re kin and we’re “gatekeeping ableist jerks”. The difference is that c’links choose and can drop their identity. Psychological otherkin cannot. The line can be pretty blurred, and in that case you’d best just slap down “I am this, currently questioning if c’link or kintype”. Literally nobody can yell at you for that. I’ve had to do it before. Never did figure out what it was, but it doesn’t matter now.

Religious- I don’t see this one as often, but I think it’s something along the lines of ‘my God wants me to feel like I’m this for X reason’? Or maybe it’s a past life thing that your religious says you have. (I think Buddhism does that, but I am no religious scholar and I might be wrong.)

Cultural- I’ve seen this mostly in Native American folks, but I’m sure they’re not the only ones. What I have seen is ‘my family have always been crows, so I am a crow therian’. I don’t know much about Native cultures, despite having grown up around them, so I suppose if you had cultural reasons, you’d already know? I do believe spirit animals play into this, but I’m what we call ‘exotic white bread’ and I am not the authority. But I also don’t know who to redirect you to about this. Hm. I’m gonna have to go asking around.

And of course, to finish off part one: multiplicity. That’s a fun one.

Multiple systems aren’t kin. Not hearted either or anything. They’re the other ‘main branch’ of being alterhuman. They are usually several people trying to pilot one body. They use terms like fictive, which is not fictionkin(d), though the two get confused an awful lot. A fictionkind person is someone who IDs as someone or something fictional. A fictive is a part of a multiple system who IS that person, with usually no other identity.

Using myself as an example: I am fictionkind, and one of my fictotypes has green hair. I do not have green hair right now, and that fictotype is not my entire identity. A fictive is more like “hi I’m Harry Potter and I live here now, in your body, with you”. That would be his entire identity: he is Harry Potter.

Factives are close to that, but real people that do or have existed on Earth. That’s like “hi I’m Shakespeare and I live here now”. It’s possible to have system members that are neither. That’s chill.

Supposedly, multiple systems can be both trauma-born and not-trauma-born. The latter is usually called endogenic, I think. DID/OSDD are two disorders that cause multiplicity, but as far as I know they are not the only ways to have multiplicity. You can soulbond and things, which is like the copinglink for multiplicity as in you bring someone in voluntarily. (Tulpas are also a multiplicity thing.)

Part Two: How Do I Deal With Maybe Being Otherkin Without Just Screaming Into The Void

First things first. My way is not the only way to do it. It is one method, but it tends to work for lots of people so here’s the method I know. It’s chill to ask around and figure out what others do, and then find the method that works for you.

Second things second. Do not ask a pendulum or divination blog to kinfirm something. It is a terrible method. You can divine yourself, but do not ask anyone online. Nobody’s divination is always right, and when you’re doing it online, the chance of being right drops exponentially. Bad method, 0/10 do not recommend. (You can totally divine for yourself, though. My tarot deck is particularly sassy about my own god complex from kinfeels.)

And the actual method.

1. Go create a sideblog. Name it whatever, find a nice theme you like. Make sure it is readable and not just pretty.

2. Make a tags page. I suggest doing this over a couple of days, because you are going to forget what tags you need. You want to sort between ‘angry vagueing about nothing making sense’ from ‘feels related to this’.

3. Document EVERYTHING EVER. If you think it is kin related, write that down. If you have vague memories of something, write that down too. Tag it appropriately, if only so you can find it later. (’tag later’ is a good tag if you’re on the go and know you’ll forget if you don’t write it down now.)

What I also do is fill this blog specifically with images that resonate with me. I use a queue and tagging system for this. (White blossoms is the tag for gentle TLW things; whereas black blossoms is General Edge(TM).) You should put images that resonate with you in a Particularly Kin Way on that blog. If it’s art or anything, remember to source it, though. Reblog, don’t repost.

Also, if you’re into requesting things from kin blogs like stimboards or aesthetics, have a reqs tag for them! Keeps it all in one place and you know where you got them from. I like JUST put in mine and I am angry I didn’t do it before.

Then, self introspection. You need to ask why on everything ever. Question things. Do you do insertthinghere because your parents said so, or does it seem like you just have to?

If questioning feels very upsetting or uncomfortable, stop for the day. I don’t recommend any more than an hour and half in one go. Your brain will confirm things that aren’t true in order to work with you. (Confirmation bias, I think it’s called.) Keep the questioning to short bursts, even if you’re on a roll.

If you must go longer, document document DOCUMENT. Writing things down makes them clearer, and halfway through writing you’ll go “oh shit that’s why that happens”.

It’s okay if your writing is messy or only makes sense to you. This is all your own, and how you go about it is entirely your decision.

Questioning should take you weeks or months. There are a few outliers who can kinfirm something in two days and be right, but let’s be honest here: nobody likes them because we all envy them and want to be them, so we don’t like them. All jokes aside, keep it to a pace you can handle and don’t bite off more than you can chew.

Got all that? Good. Now do a shit ton of research. If you’re questioning, say, harpykin, chase links across Wikipedia and read everything you can get your hands on about harpies. You might come across something else that’s close to it: off the top of my head, the Maximum Ride series, for example, is close-ish to harpies. Check that out too, but if it doesn’t resonate, don’t push it. If it ain’t a thing and you know it isn’t, don’t bother with it, it’ll get you nowhere.

Ask around! Don’t be afraid to ask someone “hey do you think this could happen?” Nobody’s input is the end all be all, but if they’re someone you think is educated on the matter, take it into consideration. (You would not believe how much of an idiot I felt like while doing research on demonology and a friend pointed out that Christianity is not the only religion with demons. It’s obvious, but never occurred to me. You will get that feeling at some point. Happens to the best of us.)

Lastly, go at your own pace. And if you have done all of this, it will be several months from now. Go back and look at your oldest kin documents. You will understand it all so much better, and you’ll mentally high-five your past self for knowing so little, but being so full of hope anyway.

Of course, if after all of this someone tries to invalidate you, it won’t work. You’ll have done the research, the self introspection, the grueling grind of “why why why?”. They can’t tell you the sky is red if you’re not colourblind. If they try to grill you for your information, you can point them nicely towards your probably-a-trainwreck of a sideblog and they will see your documented adventure of ‘what am I?’. And then they will stop talking, because you have proven that you know what’s up.

And as the very last piece of advice? You will be wrong. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. You can be questioning. You can say “I don’t fucking know!!”. You are allowed to have bumps and wrong turns in your journey. They will happen. It’s okay. Take a deep breath, see where you might have made a mistake, write that down, and keep going. Progress is progress. You’ll figure it out eventually, no need to know it all right this very minute.

I hope this helps, little anon! This is how I came to find out I was- and I’m not done yet, either. I have some oceanic kinfeels that I know exist but don’t know what they are: fuckers better show themselves to me soon because I’m onto them. Who knows where that adventure will take me.

#otherkin #fictionkin #asks #anonymous #Anonymous

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veteransystem · 7 years

Text

Plural Friendly Fire: It Sux 4 Evry1

So, I was going to leave it for the night, but against my better judgement I read our entire dash, including this ask and response (in a series of angry anons). And this segment of the anon rant stuck with me:

“actually also u can help being what u are! just stop pretending! its so easy when ur not traumagenic bcuz it actually isnt an illness u suffer with!”

Because this statement, and the attitude behind it, is why most systems don’t last a year out of the closet. Of all kinds: endogenic or traumagenic, neurogenic or spiritual, fictive/factive or split or walk-in or any variation, past or present. In every category of plural there is, systems that have recently come to terms with the fact that they do not experience life as one mind in one brain have been bombarded with the message:

1) you must perfectly match this particular extremely strict model, primarily defined in negatives, stereotypes, and impossible catch-22s (e.g., “all systems with fictives are fake,” “traumagenic systems have just been brainwashed by their shrinks,” “you’re not real unless everyone can front on demand BUT if people front for any reason other than ‘just feeling like it’ they’re fake”, etc.)

2) if you do not perfectly match the model, you are either fake or mistaken,

3a) if you are mistaken, you can stop being mistaken instantaneously by obeying the first total stranger to yell at you in ALLCAPS, or

3b) if you are faking, you can stop faking by Deciding Not To Fake Anymore, and this is an easy, painless process which you can do Right Now and will cause you absolutely no harm.

The number of systems who have had to check into psychiatric hospitals for suicidal ideation over “failing” at 3b is larger than you’d think. Trying to force yourself to Stop Being Plural tends not to work. The damage done to cooperation, in-system trust, and whatever we’re calling co-consciousness this year can take years to repair, and will leave serious scars.

And the thing is, much of this is aimed at a perceived “enemy” category, but primarily hits vulnerable systems of the same subcommunity.

Here’s another statement, drawn from this angry ask from the same series as before:

“go get a brain scan and tell me if ur amygdalar and hippocampal volumes are around 15% smaller bcuz of childhood abuse and trauma like DID systems are”

Now, the research backing up or refuting this statement, I’m going to leave to @solipsistful and @lb-lee, since they’re old hats at it. What I’m going to do is break down is how this statement, though aimed at a quoigenic system, is not exactly a helpful thing for vulnerable traumagenic systems to come across either.

First, “go get a brain scan”. What kind? CT? MRI? PET? In the US, a medical doctor would have to place the request for imaging, and most trauma-certified therapy specialists do not hold a professional medical degree, so the request would have to be placed by a psychiatrist working closely with your therapist.

Are you a traumagenic system with DID or OSDD on Medicare because dissociation, flashbacks, and other symptoms of severe trauma prevent you from working? Medicare Part B only covers “medically necessary” clinical diagnostic laboratory tests—”medically necessary”, in this context, means “is it an essential, non-optional requirement for diagnosis or treatment?” Since the diagnostic criteria for DID and OSDD in the DSM-V does not require brain imaging for diagnosis, Medicare will refuse to pay for this procedure. You definitely do not have between $2000-$5000 to pay for it out-of-pocket.

Are you prepared to fight over the phone every day for months trying to get the United States government to recognize the medical necessity of finding out the size of your amygdala and hippocampus relative to a control subject when it’s not part of the diagnostic criteria for a particular illness? You probably already know the miserable process of being rejected for disability income and having to repeal the decision in court.

Second, “tell me if ur amygdalar and hippocampal volumes are around 15% smaller”. Now a neurologist is going to have to be involved, since 15% is not a dramatically obvious difference to a non-specialist’s eye and even your psychiatrist is probably going to have a little difficulty with this one. You’ve got three professionals and an extremely expensive yet “optional” test involved to satisfy an angry system on the internet. Finally, though, you go through all of this and come out the other side with confirmation, rush to Tumblr to tell them...

...and they don’t believe you. “You’re just saying that; what’s your proof?”

Now you need to show them your brain scan. Maybe you’re lucky and were given a disc with the data on it. Maybe you’re also lucky enough to have a computer powerful enough to handle the software necessary to analyze that data visually. You throw yourself into it and figure out how to use this software just well enough to take a screenshot of your “amygdalar and hippocampal volumes” and toss that up with a scan of the neurologist’s written assessment for good measure.

Even if the original anon accepts it, someone at some point is still going to go, “Nope, it’s fake, you totally got that off Google Images.” You, already exhausted and dealing with mental illness, have just spent ridiculous amounts of effort getting an extremely expensive scan of your brain and putting it on the internet in order to prove you are Really McReal when the mere fact that the scan is on the internet will render it suspect.

"This is a strawman argument,” you might say. “That’s an absurd series of hoops no one would ever go through.”

But that is my point. I will be extremely surprised if there are more than five traumagenic systems on this site who have had brain imaging where the data has specifically been analyzed regarding the size of various volumes relative to what a neurologist would generally expect. Most traumagenic systems do not know how their specific brain compares to research findings, because most have not had this kind of imaging done for this purpose. Some may have had imaging for other diagnostic purposes, but then it hasn’t been assessed in this very specific way. They likely don’t have a personal copy of their own brain imaging data, and if they did, where are they going to find a qualified, verified, and trustworthy DID/OSDD-friendly neurologist to assess it for free?

It’s a near impossible qualification for most traumagenic systems to meet, to have jumped through all the hoops to acquire this very specific knowledge about their brain to meet this extremely specific criteria unrelated to the actual diagnostic criteria of DID and OSDD, but it’s being thrown at a quoigenic system as if it were Something All Traumagenic Systems Know.

A very newly out system could read it and think, “Oh no, we don’t have a brain scan and we can’t get one. Everyone’s going to think we’re fake!” or even “Gee, we’ve never had a brain scan. Our therapist didn’t say anything about needing a brain scan. If he doesn’t think we need a brain scan, maybe our trauma wasn’t that bad? Does he think we’re faking? Are we faking?” or “Oh god, one day we’re going to be the ones being screamed at and torn to pieces and who the fuck even knows what it’ll be for. I mean, brain scans? Fucking BRAIN SCANS? I can’t fucking handle this, guys. I can’t fucking handle all of us having to walk on eggshells Or Fucking Else, we’ve got to go”.

All three lead to genuinely traumagenic systems quietly fading out of the community, never to be seen again. Because someone decided to Protect The Vulnerable by Attacking The Enemy without thinking about splash damage.

Meanwhile, most endogenic systems probably just looked at it, thought “pfft what a nutter” and went on with their day.

Hate whoever you want to. It’s not like I can stop you from thinking or feeling a particular way. Just remember that your actions can hurt people you don’t want to hurt in addition to the people you’re taking aim at, and if you’re not careful, you might even hurt them more than the ones you hate.

—Ilya

#ilya authorship tag #fake fake systems #plural community shenanigans #the genic wars #dissociation mention #anti-endogenic content #anon harassment content #medical red tape discussed at length #suicide mention #psychiatric hospital mention

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