#and i'm like ALRIGHT you know what

[front-facing-pokemon]

#grovyle #now‚ since i know what comment you all are going to make‚ i'll make it here for you: #pov: you are a time gear #there. alright. ugh. okay. i love grovyle and he's like the sole reason i ever pick #treecko in subsequent playthrus of the hoenn games #iust because of grovyle. never let him get to sceptile. just grovyle. i don't CARE if sceptile has a mega THIS is my GUY from the FUTURE #wow i'm making a lot of typos i've gotta cut myself the fuck off here. this guy is from the greatest game ever made [END OF SENTENCE]

[zukosdualdao]

i'm literally insane about the last agni kai and the lightning scene(s). i swear i've rewatched it 10+ times since my last rewatch of the show (which was my first watch in years) and like. azula sees katara come into view from behind. zuko doesn't. he follows azula's gaze and sees katara and is immediately horrified. he doesn't even think or hesitate because he doesn't have time and for once he doesn't have to look back at azula to figure out what she's doing because he knows what she's doing and he won't let it happen. time dwindling into slow motion as a haunting score plays? and zuko literally yelling out "no!" because that lightning absolutely cannot hit katara. as soon as he sees it there's no chance of that ever happening. and then katara watching in horror as the lightning flashes against features in what is probably one of the most hauntingly beautiful animated moments of the show? zuko hitting the ground still convulsing with lightning and katara crying out "zuko!" and immediately trying to run to him before azula attacks again? and the next scene we cut back to with them, zuko is groaning weakly and trying to lift himself up, and we see katara literally gasp in surprise as she realizes he's still alive (i'm sobbing because i do quite literally think she thought he was dead) and immediately tries to run to him again, nevermind that she knows azula is still there, and the hand katara uses for healing is already doused in water as she reaches for him. but then azula starts attacking again. and zuko, despite literally being in so much pain that he can't stand and can barely even move at all without whimpering, still tries to reach for the spot where he can see azula attacking katara. katara is forced to hide from azula's attacks. and as azula is mocking "zuzu, you don't look so good" down to zuko, the perspective shot is such that you can SEE that katara is also looking at where he lies prone in the distance, surrounded by flame (probably wondering how much time they have before it really is too late) before looking back up at azula and realizing she needs to defeat her as quickly and handily as possible so katara can get to zuko. obviously katara would have done this anyway (the whole reason they were THERE was to halt the continued cycle of the imperialist regime of the fire nation), but the scene is specifically framed as katara trying to figure out how to stop azula so the obstacle to her getting to zuko is no longer in the way. katara's defeat of azula was epic and deserves its own post. but then after making sure azula is securely chained, she runs to zuko, looks at him with such immense sadness and horror and fear as she hears him in so much pain, tenderly turns him over so she can get a good look at the wound. and she cups his head? briefly but so gently? so that he won't hit it as she turns him over? and when she tries to heal him you can tell she is so genuinely unsure if it will even work, and so relieved that she starts crying tears of joy when she sees it has (at least enough to keep him alive and somewhat lessen his pain.) they thank each other (and you can tell it's still really hard for zuko to talk and his eyes are barely open but he thanks her anyways i'm.) and she thanks him back and!!! when he starts to try to sit up she makes a little surprised face and then immediately helps him to do so (and puts a tender hand to his chest while she does!!!) and obviously that last shot of them standing together is also one of emotional support, but katara's hand on his back is also partly because i still think (and certainly katara still thinks) trying to walk/stand on his own would be a bad idea, so it's definitely not happening.

#y'all. let me tell you right now. there was a way to write and animate this scene that didn't play on a dozen romantically coded tropes #and this. uh. wasn't that! #zutara #i know this is basically just reciting what happened ( i almost included the actual way katara defeats azula but that wasn't the point of t #is particular post and also would have made it even longer.) #but #there is nothing about this sequence of events that does not make me feel like i am on drugs. #also you Know zuko immediately after this was like: alright well i guess i've got shit to do! then promptly falls unconscious again. tbh #the joke is on him if he thinks katara is letting him out of sight for a While #atla #zuko #katara #this isn't even particularly analytical i'm just gushing #i'm not joking i will never be over it. #the last agni kai #sozin's comet

[fourteenthz]

VIERAPRIL DAY 4 - DANGER

I wonder if there are any risks not even you are willing to take.

#vierapril #ffxiv viera #vierapril 2024 #wol posting #ffxiv wol #wolcred #like. somewhat. #don't look to close at their outfits I just know it's pre-relationship #I was just blanking for this one bc thesa is good with danger so I was like #what kind actually scares her #it was either that or the twins but I'm rushing so went simple. I'll make up to the kids better!! #also I don't think I have many other wolcred ideas so YEAH have this. #she's pretty alright abt them not being in a relationship at first. it's mostly bc of her so yeah #but you know sometimes she gets a drink (rare) and overhear thancred being sweet to someone (not rare) and it gets her #thinking now... should've posed this on forgotten's night... again don't look too close lol #pretend they are thre! #thesa/thancred #x: together to the bitter end

[posletsvet]

Satoru Gojo and the Infinity That Sets Him Apart

Throught the flashback arc that opens JJK'S second season, the story goes to great lengths to make us sympathize with Geto. We are privy to the inner workings of his mind when he faces personal catastrophes of his youth, and it grants us a profound insight into how his mental/emotional state deteriorates in response to a painful realization that later comes to define his entire life. Gege found a way to turn Geto's tendency to internalize his experiences into a narrative tool, the mechanics of his Cursed Technique becoming an apt metaphor for it, and that's one truly astonishing writing.

But what about Gojo? After all, it's his memories that play out before our eye as he daydreams, and Geto is no longer an active force in the narrative, so the arc should be introduced in the first place to shed some light on Satoru's character and highlight certain aspects of it. However, while the narrative goes out of its way to humanize Geto by exposing his interiority to the audience, it seems to bit by bit deny readers access to Gojo's mind until Satoru is entirely closed off emotionally at the end of Hidden Inventory Arc. From that point on, any reading of his words and actions can be as good as the other since personal interpretation is all that is left to us to try and understand what lies behind the appearances (I guess that's precisely why there are so many widely different, conflicting interpretations of Gojo out there). What process Gojo's character undergoes throughout his past arc is, essentially, dehumanization.

Let's take a look at Gojo as he is in the main, present timeline. Pretty much as any other person in Gojo's vicinity, the audience can only observe him from the outside, always held at an arm's length away from his interior thoughts and emotions. Whenever we do get an insight into his mind, it's mostly for a solely practical purpose of keeping the readers informed about the direction which the fight is about to take, with Satoru's internal monologues consisting almost completely of him dryly strategizing against his opponents.

Even Gojo's design is set to dehumanize him, teasing the audience with how much it conceals and how little it allows us to derive from what we see. Plain black clothes, long sleeves, long trousers, high collar. Barely any skin exposed, scarce detail, completely colourless expression. To crown it all, his blindfold -- we do not get to see his eyes. Eyes mirror the soul, they communicate emotion which our words fail to. Eye contact is a primal tool of non-verbal communication because of how much our eyes alone can give away about our feelings. With Gojo's eyes perpetually hidden under his ever-present blindfold, there's an additional layer of protection, another hindrance to our understanding of his state of mind. A simple piece of cloth adds to the distance preventing access to Gojo's direct perspective, as impenetrable as trying to look through a blindfold would be for anyone but Gojo himself. The same could be applied even to his height: people around him are required to reach up with their gaze in order to look him in the face. Once again, this choice in his design strives to communicate one thing: you cannot meet him at his level, there is a palpable distance between where he stands and where you are. Everything about Gojo feels almost impersonal, evasive, further increasing the extent of his alienation.

There's an interesting connection found between Gojo's technique, his need to cover his eyes and the narrative distance that does not allow us to get any closer to his character. It's precisely when Gojo puts his mind to perfecting his usage of the Limitless that an unbreachable impediment settles between him and the people around, resulting in him and Geto from that point on being forever unable to get through to each other. With his technique taking a toll on his body by becoming more overwhelming to use after such a rapid increase in power, it's also when Gojo starts to wear his shades all the time. And whereas before we were allowed to look past the tanned spectacles and see his eyes, read the emotion in them, now we're denied even that much. It's probably a short after Geto's defection when Satoru switches to a blindfold, indicating how he completely shuts off emotionally. Just as Geto's Curse Manipulation stands as a metaphor for him repressing his feelings till the breaking point, Gojo's mental state is reflected through the physical appearance, too. Him physically distancing himself from everything within the world around him with his Limitless technique sustaining an uncrossable invisible barrier around him and his blindfold hiding his eyes from the viewer is also how his emotional detachment is established on the meta level of the narrative.

Since Geto's defection, Gojo's defenses are breached in the main timeline just once, and that is during Shibuya Incident Arc. It's barely a coincidence that, as the Limitless falls short and the ever-present physical distance is crossed sharply with the Prison Realm reaching Gojo, the emotional distance is immeadiately eliminated, too.

All defenses down and the memories of his youth flooding through the cracks, Gojo suddenly isn't numb to all the hurt of his past mistakes and what it cost him and the people around him; all the ache of losing his best friend not once but twice and being utterly unable to do anything about it still weighs on him. Neither is numb to all of it the reader, not anymore. The narrative 'catches up' to Gojo at this moment. It was an alienating, almost inhumane experience to never get a sight of Gojo's emotions when it mattered the most, at the pivotal events of his life which come to shape him as a character and as a person. We were simply denied that intimacy. But with Satoru's physical body made within reach and his mind suddenly transparent, laid bare, the delayed heartbreak is alive and present as ever. The weakness of his human heart is exposed, but it required crossing the Infinity to get to his heart.

The physical distance is only breached because the emotional one is eliminated beforehand. However, we finally get to catch a glimpse of Gojo's true feelings because something within the world was able to reach him physically, penetrating through his Limitless technique. The two are the sides of the one coin, they go hand in hand within the narrative, ultimately rendered inseperable by it. At the end of the day, the body is the soul and the soul is the body.

I've started writing all this well before the spoilers for the last chapter came out, but what we see in it, at least how I personally take it, speaks in favour of pretty much everything I've been talking about above. It's somewhat notorious how little emotional impact Gojo's fight against Sukuna lands. Until now. Until Gojo's Infinity utterly fails to prevent his body from taking the damage. Once again we gain insight into his interiority the instance he's physically exposed to the world. With Gojo's invulnerability ultimately overcome, the narrative grants us access to his inner feelings and thoughts one last time. Satoru's heart is an aching wound split open one last time.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk analysis #jjk meta #gojo satoru #geto suguru #jujutsu kaisen spoilers #jjk manga spoilers #alright i'm posting it just to get it over with #i'm so exhausted and overwhelmed with what we saw in the spoilers this week #emotionally stunted head in my hands you know the drill #god i wish i never got into this manga #not when something like this makes so much sense narrative-wise #it's unbearable #the implications i was trying to pull off here is probably incomprehensible #but i don't have it in me right now to care

[peridots-pixiwolf]

[Start ID. A three-circle venn diagram with Gabriel from Ultrakill, the Lonely Wizard from Inscryption, and the Hollow Knight from the game of the same name. Between Gabriel and Lonely is the text "guys will see a character with vague biology, say 'is anyone gonna buggify that' and not wait for an answer". Between Lonely and Hollow is the text "void beings placed in solitary confinement by a superior they admired with the intention of keeping them there forever". Between Hollow and Gabriel is the text "existed only to be a tool for their god. just wants to be perfect. never allowed to be a person". In the center between all three is just the word "trauma". End ID

having Thoughts

#peridots-nonsense #gabriel ultrakill #ultrakill #lonely wizard inscryption #inscryption #hollow hk #hollow knight #...need a doodle tag actually. is this art??? #know i said i'd stop tagging it like this just yesterday but #peridots-art #this is a little rushed because i'm trying to post it at 4:20 my time because it would be awesome. #...i don't smoke i just get really excited about having a specific number to obsess over and it's funny #inspired by the tags on a gabriel post and my own personal thoughts about these dudes. #think that should be all. it's the time now #alright came back after. technogender's tags on a nov 5th post by feyfeather #hit a comma for the second time but not revising it the post was about gabe but it really reminded me of thk... #*feathers plural. as for the lw-focused sides i've been thinking about their parallels with hollow for a good while actually #and the last one's literally just. i like to give gabe/pyro (under suit)/lonely insect-like anatomy. what are you gonna do about it #that's ACTUALLY all. goodbye tag-wanderer. hope this is. inchresting #OH right also if you see the disproportionate amount of attention given to gabriel's doodle no you don't #1.5 HOURS LATER REALIZED I MADE A TYPO GRRR HISS #you did NOT SEE IT #I DO NOT MAKE TYPOS HERE. BUILT DIFFERENT.

[nicoscheer]

Serpico (1973)

like seriously fuck you Miles for doing this

The post

#Al Pacino #miles kane #ig Story #29/08/2023 #late night movie night for mister Kane #okay but can we talk about the fuckin dialogue he chose to share #you know that guy in texas i was telling you about #yeah what about him #i'm gonna marry him in two months #unless you marry me #also how Al Pacino looks eerily like TBHC Alex #like the first second I thought wtf Miles did you Film Alex bathing #I mean okay Miles slightly filling more of Pacino alright but not him seriously zooming in on the man and not the naked woman at the end 😭😭🤣 #also both are called Al #Instagram #🌶️=🍆

[ratcandy]

happy lesbian visibility week . everyone say hi to Lumi, who is now visible

For those brave souls wondering, "Who is Lumi?" well let me tell you. Lumi is a character that is referenced exactly once in-game offhandedly by the current Lighthouse Keeper, with an unused sprite to boot,

and she and Monch kiss each other very passionately by the fire, and nothing goes wrong in their lives ever ever. (To clarify, Lumi isn't her canon name, it is the name I have bestowed upon her. It's also never stated that this unused sprite is/was the old leader of the lighthouse, but that is the headcanon I'm running with. Just to avoid any confusion!!)

and if you're thinking to yourself, "Hey wait a second, isn't that one off-handed bit of dialogue about how the previous leader of the lighthouse was murdered by the Fox?" well u'd be right. but don't worry about it :)

SHe and Monch are holding hands and kissing and whatever else people who love each other do. Why? Because they love each other very much. Thank you and goodnight <3

#ALRIGHT. Time to let tumblr know about my self-indulgence. #clamart #cotl monch #um. how do I tag lumi. I did not think of this. She's not like. Technically an OC? She's a canon character but like. Halfway. Sort of. #I don't want to use the lighthouse keeper tag 'cause then she'll get confused with the Current One . Hmm. Let me know what you think chat #cult of the lamb #and yes for people who have been paying attention to my tags. this is 🔥🌊. you can tell which one is which I'm sure HSDGKLJDSH

[uncanny-tranny]

One thing I really enjoy about transition is when the changes in hormones slow down...

It feels like I am a house settling, shifting ever-so-slightly, and becoming one with this new foundation.

I don't have a "typical" body, but so do the other guys in my family. I look like them now. I've been told I looked like my father when he was a teenager, and I feel as though I am in the mentality I need to be in.

So many people are excited when they get all these new changes all at once, and then they might become disappointed when their second puberty starts to slow down, but I find I am the opposite. I am so much more at peace than I was before, and that's saying something when I was at peace a month into my changes.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #i feel like my experiences are 'atypical' but like... my family is kinda that way #like the guys in my family have the same-ish body type i do so i haven't always been dysphoric about it #i was mostly dysphoric about the fact i don't and can't fit into the 'typical male' archetype #but like... my dad doesn't fit into that at all and nobody gives him shit for it so hey what do i have to contend with #i'm getting close to the three-year mark and from my observations that tends to be where your changes do still happen... #...but it isn't always as quick/intense as it once was. your body tends to settle down y'know? that's where i feel i'm at #like i'd appreciate more body hair on my stomach and my mustache kurtis but that could take a bit and that's okay #it takes years for a cis man with testosterone YEARS for his hair to mature sometimes #and tbh i think we should celebrate that. you are a fine wine; you will only become fuller and richer as time goes on #you'll mature into a full-bodied wine that lingers on your tongue and leaves you craving more #alright i'm done with the wine metaphor because i only know so little about wine and alcohol 👍

[kangaracha]

daffodil + chan

a song

the prompt: daffodil (a god bows before a mortal)

read it on ao3

---

"You have no power over me."

running through his hands like water, and suddenly the earth is not his to control. The skies do not turn with the twist of his head, lightning does not fork in the air when his eyes, dark as night and yet still lit by some unearthly light, fall upon you, his mouth wide as if to gasp for a breath he cannot take-

And yet, still, it shivers down your spine; the magic that draws you here even as you rip it apart, the prize of your conquest to rip the world into two.

"Take it back," he hisses through his teeth, the ground trembling with every syllable that slides down his tongue. You watch his mouth as it forms the words, the flash of teeth behind thin lips reminding you of the way that the swordsman you'd fought through to get here had smiled at you - the last of his seven challenges, the last of his demons, or angels, or citizens of the sprawling, damned city he claimed as his kingdom.

And here you stood, at the pinnacle of the eighth, and stared him in the eye without cringing away because now you knew the truth. Now you knew that what he whispered in the dark was a lie and what you saw with your eyes wasn't always true, and though he may be a god and a king amongst beings that you could never hope to rival, a god can only hold as much power as you give him. A god can only claim dominion over a beast that bowed to his dogma. 

You see now that you are no beast. You are no believer in any lie he utters to the darkness.

"Take it back," he says again, the note of his voice changing. He pleads, his brow furrowing and his shoulders curling in as if waiting for the final blow. "Take it back now, before it's too late."

"I can't," you tell him, and you watch him fall to his knees, and you know that it's wrong and your heart pounds in your chest and it

like the ground does at the impact of his knees, crumbling into the pieces it was in when you first took his hand, alone on the side of the road with only one thing to call your own. And what was that thing, the little warmth you'd held to your chest in the dark and the cold? What had you traded away for the comfort of the house that crumbled around you now? Why had you destroyed him to get it back, where was it now, why did it not appear within his hands at this, the hour of his reckoning?

"Please," he spits into the cold ground, the dirt and the leaves and the curl of ivy that grows up the walls around you, old and ancient and not yet sprouted from its roots all at the same time. His hands curl in the dirt like he can reach down and pull the earth to him, like he can stop the wane of his power if he just tries to hold on a little bit tighter. "I know what you want, and I don't have it. I can't lose-"

Broken, fragile thing. Small god of limited earth, crouched at your feet like he might worship you instead. You'd thought him all-powerful once, and then you'd thought him severe and his servants and beasts and playthings petty, and then you'd thought him

because he'd smiled at you in the garden that bloomed from his own hands when you expressed your desire for a flower to tuck in the braid of your dark hair, and his hand had been soft in yours, and when he looked out across his kingdom and the clamouring faces of the people he'd brought to live there, he'd looked at them the same way that he'd looked at you.

Beneath your foot, the ground cracks, fracturing outwards like a spiderweb. It's your heart, you realise morosely, sinking from your chest and into the depths of the earth, disappearing with whatever he'd taken from you; and it was a wretched thing and it had betrayed you a hundred times over, but you still mourn at the loss of it and all the dreams it had carried with it. It blooms in your flowers in the corners of the room, embeds itself into the land and sings along with the song of his power, a thing you can hear but cannot touch, a beast once born that now does not belong to you.

"I'm sorry," he says, his breath like mist in the cold air, and even without your heart, you can't bear to see him so cold.

Your hands reach for him without permission, your body kneeling in the dirt before you can stand your feet firm upon the earth and refuse to move. He flinches away, but your fingers are soft upon his chin and the curve of his jaw, gentle when they brush the soft dip of his neck. "I only wanted to know what it was," you tell him with a voice that cannot hold itself steady. "I thought if you loved me, you would give it back." It's the only voice you have - you are not like him, or like Felix, speaking with many tongues. You don't have any power of your own.

"It's because I love you that I can't give it back." His voice is hoarse, every word a knife that he swallows without ever once flinching. "It's because I love you that I couldn't tell you what it was."

"But didn't I deserve to know?" you question. "Doesn't my life belong to me?"

Finally, his eyes rise, looking up at you with a fire that belies the cold of his skin. "Of course it does," he gasps, and his hand reaches up, dirt-stained fingers dragging at your cheek. "That's why I gave it to you, and I never asked for anything else."

"But you wouldn't give back what you took in the first place."

The sudden violence of his voice crumbles the walls and fractures the sky, the clouds blooming te dark colours of a bruise. The absence of his hand on your cheek stings in the cold; his face turns away, screwed up in regret and a pain he won't allow you to feel. You lurch forward before he can disappear, drawing him into your arms; stiff shoulders, spine of beaten steel, slow beat of a heart you once held in your hands. 

He'd stood so tall and unmoving in the morning light, when you'd first walked down this path, and now in the dark of the setting sun and the ending of the earth, his weight slumps into your grasp, his resolve melting into the warmth of your body. "I didn't want you to suffer again," he says to the soft cotton of your shirt and the curve of your collarbone, his breath a whisper against your skin. "I couldn't watch that, when you asked me to make sure it would never happen again."

Surprise comes in the pause of your breath and the still of your arms, the jump of a heart you're not sure you still possess. "I asked you to make me forget?" you question the world behind his back, and into your neck, he sighs.

"You couldn't forget," he murmurs. "She was dead before I found you, and when I took her from your arms - you couldn't forget. There was nothing I could do to fix what had been broken. And then you begged me to let you forget, so I remembered her for you." He pauses, his throat hitching like he's swallowing something down. A sob maybe, or the tears he will never let fall. "I can't give her back though. She's not here anymore."

You push him upright, your hands on his shoulders, his neck, his face. Brushing away the hair that falls in his eyes, wiping at the blood that drips from the cut on his cheek. "Why didn't you tell me?" you ask, because the answer is incomprehensible. "Why did you let me go this far?"

"Because I was scared," he admits, and his teeth clench and his spine stiffens against the urge to hide away from you again. "Because I'm a wretched, evil, stupid thing who thinks they can-"

His words die in your throat; vile, wretched things that you store away to spit out later, into the ground where they belong. He is none of that; he is soft, and hesitant, until your fingers find the sharp curve of his hip and the lines of his back, dragging him closer and his lips open like there is nothing in the world to devour but you and

#sorry about the images everyone but tumblr wouldn't let me keep my aesthetic #and i refuse to bow to any shitty website #how tf do you align text on here #anyway #stray kids #bang chan #stray kids chan #bang chan x reader #stray kids x you #y/n without the y/n #lee felix #is mentioned #lee know is also in here if you can spot him #roo writes #the fight i had to a) finish this and b) post it #anyway 7k written for the last three days #a lil treat for #well for me because keeps refused to write me a fic and i got desperate #but for the love of god please someone read this please someone talk to me #i feel like i really cooked with this #one hour of my life spent going down a rabbithole #oh what else was i going to say #vaguely inspired by labyrinth #we went way off the labyrinth rails but #it's there #alright shit alright i'm gonna post it lets go i'm nervous

[imthursdaysyme]

A doodle of the gorls

#stranger things #drawing #steve harrington #digital art #robin buckley #stobin #based on that picture #you know which I'm talking about #just imagining them talking and like Dustin is in a camera phase and is like snapping photos left and right #and they're talking about if dolphins are smarter than humans and Steve is like they're smarter than some for sure #and robin is like wait you think an animal is smarter than humans #and he's like no not humans #human #and robin is like ooooh wait who??? #and Steve like pauses for a really long time and he sighs and goes #I mean they're probably smarter than me at times #and rob is like you know what me too thats alright #and then Steve is like #oh and they're smarter than that dumbass Dave from the grocery for sure #and robin is like you know what yeah that's definitely right #and then as robins opening her mouth to ask if Steve would be friends with dolphins if he could Dustin runs up and snaps a photo #and they're so used to it they instantly stop #pose #and then continue on #and Steve is like fuck no would I be friends with dolphins those things are mean as shit #and robin is like but I think I could fix them #make them nice for me #and Steve is like babygirl no #and robin is like babygirl yes #And Steve is like for the love of god if dolphins suddenly could talk DO NOT befriend them pls they'll kill you and rob is like omg fiiine

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

Growing up in an extremely ultra religious, cult-like family was a mindfuck for multiple reasons but that doesn't stop unfortunately, even when you escape. For example, see: The overwhelming feeling of boiling hatred and shame for who you used to be.

The angry hatred for the past person I used to be, the version of myself that mindlessly parroted my family's beliefs and listened to their every command, constantly simmered under my skin and invaded my every thought. I was embarrassed of what I used to be- even as I made friends of different ethnicities and faiths, as I listened and explored new ideas and worlds that I never knew existed, as I started the first LGBTQ+ club at my school and volunteered with kids who deserved so much more- there was always a little voice in the back of my head.

"They would hate you if they knew what you were. They would hate the horrendous teachings that were seared into your mind, the things that you used to say and believe. You are nothing but a pretender."

And it is true that my beliefs were bigoted in all the worst ways. It is true that I believed truly heart-wrenching things without a second thought and judged others in such harsh and unfair ways. I told myself that there was no coming back from that, not really. There was nothing I could do to ever make up for it.

Then I remembered that the person who said those things wore velcro light up sneakers and collected finger puppets that the librarians handed out as awards for reading picture books. The person that held signs at pro-life rallies and anti-LGBTQ+ protests had a cherished sticker book and hunted minnows in the creek after school and adored their puffle on club penguin and was really into greek mythology and had skinned knees from climbing trees at recess and knew every Disney song by heart and was absolutely terrified of the dark.

That person was a child.

I was a child.

It took a really long time. Years and years of reflection and distance, but I've decided that I can't hate the past version of myself anymore. I feel pity and remorse, I feel anger- I feel so much fury and violent rage- at what my childhood was and I grieve what could- no, should- have been, but I no longer resent who I was.

I'm not ashamed.

I am so, so, so unbelievably proud of that little kid. For being brave enough to leave the comfort and safety of what I was told was right. For not being afraid to be wrong. For seeking out information and knowledge in a culture that praised ignorance. For questioning everything, relentlessly.

I am by no means a perfect person, I never have been and I never will, but I am proud of myself in every iteration that has ever existed because I know that I have never stopped trying to understand and learn and grow, and I never will.

If you have ever been in a similar situation and feel similar things, first of all: My condolences on your lost childhood. Second of all: Please be nice to that past version of yourself and recognize all the hard work they did to make you who you are today. That person was a survivor and an inspiration. They deserve nothing but love.

#started anti depressants recently. kinda had an epiphany. i can't hate who i was. if i met me now i wouldn't blame that tiny child #for their rancid beliefs or for being dragged to protests. because thats a CHILD. i HAVE met kids in that position and i feel nothing but #pity and anger on their behalf. so why am i holding that version of myself to a higher standard? #i could not have known what i know now at 6 or 8 or 10. the same way that i could not have written a college level essay at that age #but i did what i could. in my own 8 y/o way. i believed in love and humanity and happiness. i was just misguided in the 'hows' of it all #and i am so so so so so proud. of every single microscopic step that i took. every question i asked. every thought that i hid and protected #and pondered secretly at night until new ideas and doubts bloomed like a dandelion through the pavement #and I'm so proud that i chased that doubt. that i asked why why why why until their ears bled and their voices were raw #until their answers stopped adding up. until i sought knowledge elsewhere with a mind dehydrated and malnourished and begging for knowledge #in any form i could get. i just. if i could hug that kid? if i could right now reach out and give that terrified and lonely child a hug? #i would. a million times over. #anyway sorry for the intense personal rant I'm just going through it rn and I'm like.... actually feeling alright #its wild. did you guys know about this??? anti depressants make you NOT depressed??? shits insane fam #irl #personal

[squishosaur]

hey man. i'm just saying. why would we put inexperienced teenagers with over-inflated egos and obvious emotional issues into combat classes and make them claw their way to the top of their dorms and expect things to just run smoothly. who actually thought this

#the reason rsa doesn't have overblots is because they understand the joy and whimsy of life and friendship btw #LIKE. why is there no school counselor?? do you know how much time & resources & effort & TRAUMA we could have saved the students & #school from if ANYONE had reached out to riddle and was like 'hey are you alright i heard xyz and i wanted to let you know...' ESPECIALLY #since TREY LITERALLY TELLS US 'oh well here's the lowdown on her trauma this is Probably what is causing this' #or if someone sat down to tell leona 'hey! i'm rooting for you in ur magift(?) game! you're my fav player!!' AND LET HIM FEEL NOTICED #or if someone approached azul as an Equal to try to stop his plans. as a friend even. BEYOND A BUSINESS TRANSACTION #or if ANYBODY BUT ESPECIALLY KALIM was like 'jamil i think you should follow your passions and do something you enjoy today!!' or AT LEAST #let him know he was appreciated as a person NOT JUST FOR HIS WORK #'i know you're doing a lot today but i just wanted to thank you for how much Effort you put into this and..' etc etc etc #ERM.. IF ANYONE TREATED VIL LIKE A HUMAN BEING AND NOT A CELEBRITY??? or even 'hey i loved you in this film i was wondering if we could #do a play together or something..!!' AND LET HER TRY A TYPE OF CHARACTER SHE NEVER GOT THE OPPORTUNITY TO BE. and sing her praises. #if anyone reached out to idia beyond a 'hey the teacher said to come to class'/'get out of your bed and come to our housewarden meeting' #or even. IF ORTHO HIMSELF was like. 'you know it's not your fault... you didn't cause all of this. not really' OR SOMETHING #or if malleus ever got to experience a small firsthand loss AND WAS COMFORTED THROUGH IT. not just quick fix via magic. not replacing. just #GRIEVING SOMETHING??????? and wasn't feared by literally everyone #um. maybe the real twisted part is that all of this tragedy was easily preventable if we had a support system in place. #but idk. twst is a highschool. there's no support in real high school either. i'd probably overblot too if i could ajdjrjfinfdndjd #twst #chatter #LONG RAMBLE SORRY #yes overblots are essential to the plot. but also. do you know how frustrating it is watching the blot build up and sitting in silence. #I'M SORRY IK IF SOMETHING LIKE THIS WAS HAPPENING TO A GUY I JUST MET I WOULD PROBABLY NOT NOTICE.. but of it was my Friend or Housewarden.. #I'D ASK BRO.... I'D ASK ... UGHHHHHUUUHHHH #not that anyone would notice if *I* was about to lose it tbh #speaks volumes about our society o think #OKAY NOW I'M DONE FOR REAL

[dynamightmite]

You know what, I'm just gonna go ahead and withhold judgment on Eri healing Deku's arms until we get further to the end because. Damn man maybe Horikoshi can pull it off idk 😭

#bnha 420 #bnha spoilers #listen using eri as a deus ex machina to magically heal everybody was one of the few things I really didn't want to see in the manga #because if it just kinda gets tossed out there it sort of feels like Deku only got his arms cut off to make Eri's continued presence #in the manga have an actual purpose #but you know what since he's made the effect minimal (only working on Deku) and having possible consequences #yeah alright for now I can give him a pass #but honestly I'm uhhhh gonna need some convincing

[radioves]

its quite shrimple actually

#[Intro: Docm77] Listen Grian Nobody touches my bush You're done [Verse 1: Docm77] It all started when Grian touched my redstone He played #himself like a xylophone set on automatic Doc Monster is a savage‚ with technical skills And crazy vocal acrobatics I’m a legend of NHO‚ #with Etho‚ Beef and Double O DocMC is coming for you sevenfold Got Rendog and other firemen To douse the flames that you shoot at this #To douse the flames that you shoot at this leviathan Iskall can try again [Verse 2: Wels & Xisuma] Yo You think i’m hiding‚ I’m just biding #my time Putting pen to paper‚ coming up with rhymes We’re the star-studded group that got together just to crush you Once we start something #you know we're gonna see it through I'm the knight‚ the soldier who brings the fight at first light Y'all had to incite‚ so now I gotta #indict You're guilty of getting murdered with words Y'all are out-gunned‚ go home nerds Wohoo [Chorus: All] Hermit Gang Hermit Gang Hermit #Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang Hermit #Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang [Verse 3: False & Xisuma] If you think you can stop the symmetry‚ that's false G Team is dialing for help‚ #but I'm ignoring their calls And when their bodies dissolve‚ you’ll know that False’s on a killing spree Try to stop my pvp and perish #painfully I'm the queen of hearts‚ heads and body parts Your diamond armor can’t compare to my martial arts I'll send a poison dart‚ to make #you breathe your final breath G Team's name will be the only thing left Yeah [Verse 4: Impulse] Caffeinated‚ animated‚ redstone innovator My #behavior's crazy‚ can’t phase me‚ impulse is never lazy (Uh) Tango‚ why would you betray me‚ now my scope is aiming (What) Without a sound‚ #without no hesitation‚ my creations are amazing Better watch your step or the G Team will end up blazing Who's the better team? There is no #controversy But before it's said and done you'll be begging us for mercy (All-right) [Chorus: All] Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ #Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang #Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang [Verse 5: Xisuma] X gone give it to ya‚ I'm gone give it to ya X gone give it to ya‚ WHAT Lyrical boxing‚ dropping #blows on all my foes And the G Team they're looking unclean needing some sunscreen Getting burnt by words to hurt this herd of nerds It’s #absurd how my rhymes got them injured Danger‚ danger I got lasers to cut 'em up like razors It's flexin' season and I got flavor Their #Their weak defenses like trenches and fences That these dense heads are presenting [Bridge: Xisuma & Docm77] They're presenting them alright #they're not very good I could walk over that‚ I could jump over that I could use an ender pearl I could use my elytra Come on G Team‚ jeeze #Yo‚ I don't know what to say Um‚ let me think [Chorus: All] Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang #Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang [Verse 6: #Rendog] Now I'm back‚ got some things I wanna say (Yeah) Whats the letter that starts the alphabet‚ Ay Ladies gotta get in line‚ the #diggity's be on the way (Cliff) Cleo dont know who she freaking with (Ooh) All the signs say to notify her next of kin This diggity dog be #dropping bombs‚ nothing but hits (Ay) Spit that rhyme again (brrr)‚ 'cause the message is I can mumble rap and still be the best there is #(Woo-ah) [Chorus: All] Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang #Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang [Outro: Mumbo] Oh you wanted me to do a verse? I’ll #I'll have to check with G Team- I mean uh‚ I'd have to‚ I'll have to check with my schedule And see if I can...see if I'm able to do that #sort of thing I'm a busy guy‚ got lots of ....things to do Yeah‚ I mean‚ I just don't know if its a good idea for me to be part of this song

[cerise-on-top]

do you have any rudy hcs lying around? asking for a friend 👀

Hey, there! Yeah, I was able to come up with some!

Rodolfo HCs

He actually prefers men over women. He will still date women, he has had crushes on them, after all, but he more often than not dreams about being with another man. This has caused him some distress in the past. Considering he realized he liked men very early on, he thought he was gay back then. However, later on he developed a crush on a girl and so he thought he was straight after all. The realization that he might be straight broke his heart because he really wanted to be into men back then. Yes, he was unaware that you can like more than one gender, so he felt bad when he had that crush on that girl. It took him another few years until he realized he could be bisexual. He met another guy who was quite the flirt, having flirted with men and women alike. Rodolfo didn’t mind that, but did question that guy about it. Once he had the answer of simple bisexuality, it clicked and he felt absolutely stupid for not having realized it sooner. To this day he’s friends with that person and sometimes still meets up with him.

Although he’s severely touch starved, he’d rather die than admit to that. No amount of touch could ever satisfy him. Besides, he believes that, just because he’s a man, he shouldn’t really be held in a comforting way, especially not by a woman. He’s a strong, protective guy, he has to be the one doing the protecting, and that includes doing the holding during cuddling as well. Sometimes he might be a bit grumpy because he just really wants to be held, especially when his stress levels are at an all time high. However, he can’t really swallow his pride and outright ask for it either, his partner would have to be the one to come up to him and make the suggestion. Fairly early on, he might refuse such advances from a female partner, but once he knows she won’t think any less of him for that, he’s more willing. If his partner is a man, however, then he’d be honored. Rodolfo genuinely believes that every man out there believes the same thing that he does in that regard, so he can appreciate a guy “willing to swallow his pride”. He doesn’t outright ask for cuddles, he will only hint at the fact he wants some with him. He could literally have a sleepless night, with being held being the only remedy out there, and he’d still not ask for any.

He’s not at all an outgoing person anymore. He used to be when he was a child, making friends left and right with just about any kid he ever found, but he outgrew that phase. No one knows why, not even he does, but he sometimes does miss being a people person, it would make some things a lot easier. However, he does have Alejandro in his life, who is an outgoing person that knows lots and lots of people. Whenever Rodolfo needs anything he doesn’t need to look for too long, Alejandro is usually right there. The two go way back with each other, having known one another for almost 20 years now. Whenever Rodolfo needs anything, Alejandro is the first person to know since he knows he can count on him. Although he usually asks Alejandro for someone who might be doing this specific thing or knows how to do it well, it’s usually Alejandro who helps Rodolfo regardless. Those two have grown very close with each other and can tell what the other needs without them even saying anything. Rodolfo does truly appreciate Alejandro for that, he’s never had a better friend than him. When Rodolfo moved, all Alejandro asked for was some beer and watching some movies together. Rodolfo would literally and figuratively die for Alejandro, but the latter usually tells him there’s no need for that. He’d much rather have Rodolfo take a break.

#cod #rodolfo parra #apparently this was exactly 666 words long #poor Rodolfo that was unintentional. I love him though #I hope these are alright. You didn't specify what kind they should be so I just went with whatever came to mind #y'all don't know how hard it sometimes is to come up with miscellaneous HCs for a character #it's a nice break from writing something for this and that kind of reader though #Rodolfo is such a sweetheart though it's hard to not like him #he really grew on me ever since I started writing. I didn't really care too much for him in the beginning #but that's the beauty of writing: It makes you consider characters you otherwise wouldn't really think about #nothing much to report today. except I've been watching cod cold war #I saw a post that compared Adler to America from Hetalia and it was so funny to me #so naturally I started watching the game because I was intrigued. I need to know who Mr America in CoD is #fascinating fella so far. I would study him like a bug under a microscope #however I feel as though he'd notice and put me in a situation. the way a scientist always puts a rat in a situation #not a very nice man but oh well. I'm curious to see where it's all going

[yohankang]

also i didn't tell you guys but i was supposed to get a raise this month when i sign a new contract but they already sent it to me and there was no mention of the raise. so i felt horrible and almost cried at work and it took me a few hours but i actually went to talk to them and i will probably get a raise after all

#LIKE WHAT IS THIS WEEK. WHY DO I HAVE TO CONFRONT PEOPLE LIKE THAT AND STAND UP FOR MYSELF!!!! #i was like hey.. you mentioned a raise after the probationary period when i signed the first contract so i'm confused now ?? #and they were like we genuinely don't remember but it's alright we can talk about it and change it so just tell us how much do you want #which. is also shitty bc i know the girl who's been here for 3 months longer got it without asking #and i feel like i'm asking too much when it's not even 10%.... #but hey!!! i did that instead of just sitting there feeling wronged and waiting 2 years for my contract to end #i'm literally so brave but it doesn't even feel good 😭 #as a reward i bought myself train tickets to see my friend next month agjsfjsj and they were really cheap! #and now i'm trying to just. not think about All That. yk #that's why i'm rambling on tumblr dot com ahmsgjsdn #k.txt